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jyndor · 2 years

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let’s talk about anxiety, excitement and negativity about andor:

(or cait has a slow day at the salon so now we get this discourse. read if you want, and if you think I’m being negative at the end of this essay I’m genuinely curious as to why, and I’d like to hear from you).

ANDOR SPOILERS behind the cut:

A good thing about Rogue One is that the fandom has very diverse, robust opinions on the characters. Undoubtedly some of those opinions I disagree with, but I like that we all have varying interpretations of canon. Fanfiction writers - even the ones like me who barely do any writing lmfao #rip - have done a lot to build fanon into what it is. And we’ve had YEARS to do it. So we’ve naturally got Pretty Strong Feelings about these characters and what they’ve been through before the film (and after for those of us in utter denial).

Cassian Andor is a character that I immediately liked - as was Jyn Erso, for very similar and different reasons all at once. He is a character that has a lot of the traits I most admire in people and that I value in myself - strong sense of right and wrong, good judgment, dedication, loyalty. And I liked that Rogue One allowed these characters to be unlikable at times, that they always stayed true to what a real person in their shoes might do, not what a character in a story might do. We get to explore what makes Cassian into the character we see in the film, how he grows into that man.

His growth is pretty dynamic just in the film alone, so the idea that we might see where he comes from - what shapes him into the Cassian we see in the film - has always appealed to me. When the Cassian show was announced I knew that it was going to change things for what we see as canon, that it was going to flesh things out about his character in ways I might not agree with. I was and am SO EXCITED to see one of my favorite characters on screen again.

When someone who is an authority on what canon is says something that doesn’t really fit our individual understandings of canon, that can feel weird. It’s different than when a fellow fan thinks differently on canon because lol none of us have any actual sway over canon - just our own interpretations of canon. I mean don’t get me wrong some of y’all annoy me with your hot takes too but it’s far more aggravating when it’s like one of those idiots on the Lucafilm Story Whatever Board spewing some shit. Even George Lucas sometimes annoys me with his literal own interpretation of his own content ... I mean that’s nothing new in this fandom.

For example, this is a silly one. Whenever Diego says (rightfully bc he is 10000% correct) that Cassian is dead, my dumbass is like WHERES THE BODY BITCH. I get kind of, idk, weird about it? Because in my headcanon, these characters are not dead. That is called a ~personal problem and I’m only sort of joking. I’m pro-the ending because it works so well, but I am also one of the weirdos who wouldn’t actually be mad if they retconned it. They shouldn’t, I know that it actually would take away from how hard the ending hits, but I wouldn’t be mad. I assume most of you disagree with that - and you’re right to disagree because I’m objectively wrong but I also just ~~~FEEL THAT WAY.

This is an example of my interpretation being non-canonical. But I’ve already seen the film so I can make that conclusion if I want to - it’s absurd and completely defenseless (NO BODY NO CRIME js) but it is what it is.

So it stands to reason that if we have feelings about how things would have gone had Cassian lived, we also all have feelings about how things went before Rogue One. And considering there is only a little bit of information canonically, our feelings are going to be WILDLY varied. I think we all know that.

I fully expect the show to deviate from some things in my headcanon - like for instance, I don’t expect Cassian to be a math/piloting genius just because I interpret the escaping Jedha scene as Cassian being exceptionally gifted at calculating jumps. That’s my interpretation and I recognize that it’s just that. An interpretation. I do expect him to be very good at piloting because he is one in canon. If the trailer showed 20-something Cassian sucking at piloting I’d be side-eyeing the shit out of it. I don’t expect Cassian to be someone who picks up strays everywhere he goes, but I do expect him to “have the face of a friend” no matter how superficially.

And in the same vein, and much more seriously, I expect that someone who argues with a literal former child soldier about how she only joined up when the fight impacted her personal life to have been in some sort of resistance in his teens at LEAST. I’m not saying the spoilers are conclusive in any way about any of this, but some of the quotes give me pause. I don’t think that’s negative, I don’t think that’s anything other than having a feeling about a thing that seems pretty much established fact: that Cassian Andor was a Separatist himself is kind of murky (he was a child lmfao) but that he was in the fight from an early age? Literally canon I’m sorry.

But also, spoilers don’t come with context and trailers misrepresent things all the time. That’s why I was waiting to firmly decide if I thought Adria was playing a love interest. Trailers lie: that scene could still be Bix showing Cassian something without like sexual tension lmfao, but it very likely is intended to be romantic. Okay, cool. I still don’t know how I’ll feel about their relationship because I haven’t seen the show yet. I have Concerns based on my interpretation of Tony Gilroy’s quote about their relationship being on again off again and Cassian burning bridges with Bix and everyone lmfao, but for all I know contextually it could work really well to me! But without that context, that sounds like a toxic relationship and I’d rather Cassian not have a toxic relationship, especially if my speculation about Bix not making it to the second season is correct. God, I’m so tired of women (in particular woc) dying for men’s stories to progress. I was worried about that when I thought Adria was playing his sister, and I’m worried about that now. I’m not being negative, I’m being realistic - this is a common trope for a reason.

I know that a lot of rebelcaptain shippers are uncomfortable with Cassian being in a relationship with someone else and I don’t agree in this context. It seems kind of odd to me to feel that way, but also I won’t lie that I wouldn’t like it if Cassian is in a committed relationship with another person when Rogue One begins. To me that would chip away at Cassian’s motivations in the film - he’s lost everything, so he throws everything into his service with the Alliance - and if we consider the novelization canon that would be... hard to square with his characterization in the book. But not impossible.

A lot of these spoilers are hard for me to square with my interpretation of what canon says. And my interpretation is pretty literal for the most part - except for the NO BODY NO CRIME ending lmfao - so that does worry me. It worries me that Gilroy said that what we read in Wookiepedia is not the truth about Cassian, but also we haven’t seen the show so for all we know he means that that’s not all there is to know about Cassian, or that the like idk supplemental materials (like the visual dictionary) are not going to remain canon. Which... alright, well then tell a better story.

I don't think it's out of bounds to be skeptical about things in interviews, there's a few choices that I personally not only wouldn't make but that don't seem to track with what literal canon says in the film, but also we have to remember that we haven't seen the context these things they're talking about are in, we haven't seen the show yet. So maybe they do make sense! I am reserving my judgment until I have watched the episodes twice because I know myself well - I have an initial reaction and then a more reasoned reaction after the adrenaline passes. Sometimes it’s the same (my feelings on Rogue One stayed VERY MUCH THE SAME LOL). Often I become a little more critical.

But I can't deny that it's disappointing to hear some spoilers that confuse me and make me nervous. I don't want to be nervous about fundamental things like Cassian's literal childhood not seeming to match what he says in the show - and anyone who says "well him being in the fight since he was a kid is your interpretation" lmfao no it is not. How he was in the fight is absolutely up to interpretation, and I hope that they stick the landing there. I definitely have my reservations from spoilers, but again there’s no context so it’s like... I can’t have an informed opinion.

I feel fairly confident that the show will be well-written and thoughtful, and definitely will have something to say. I think it's gonna be fantastic, but I'm also like, not all that trusting of Lucasfilm. For good reason - I was never a massive Obi Wan stan and even I can see that there were major issues with the show, even if I enjoyed a lot of it. And Boba Fett... yikes. But also the context is different: Diego is EXECUTIVE PRODUCER and has a lot of feelings on his character, and I’m speculating here but I think he has a lot to do with some details - Cassian’s dad is named Jeron in honor of Diego’s son Jeronimo, for example. I think the idea that Cassian is a refugee comes directly from Diego, and the fact that his (adopted) mother is a white woman almost certainly does too. I know Ewan McGregor was Exec Producer for his show but I’ve never gotten the idea that he’s as much of a fan as Diego is. It’s different.

Temeura Morrison also had a lot to do with fleshing out Boba and it still flopped imo but that show’s context is also different - it’s clearly supplemental to the Mandalorian, and also the showrunner wasn’t, idk, literally involved in creating Boba Fett at all. We’ll never know how much Tony Gilroy actually is responsible for - but he was a RO writer even before the reshoots. I wish Gary Whitta and especially Chris Weitz were involved, but who knows. Sometimes writers aren’t credited - Gilroy wasn’t going to be before the reshoots.

They've had years and years to develop the story and it's just got a different feel to the rest of the shows tbh - the fact that they’re not forcing Gilroy to use the Volume says a lot about how much effort they’re putting into the show and how much creative control Disney is relinquishing (maybe). I'm not saying that's a stopgap for bullshit choices, but it tells me they’re being purposeful. That this is a passion project.

But I guess the biggest question is this: what is negativity to you? Is negativity shitposting and making jokes about spoilers? If so, well then I guess I’m negative, in spite of literally all of my years of excitement about and defense of the show. I mean we all have different interpretations of negativity, so if you feel like I’m being negative, well okay then you don’t have to follow me. I’m a grown up, I can take it. I can see how some people might feel like I am being negative because I am reacting to spoilers and not loving what I’m hearing about some things. Personally for me negativity is a lot of things, but critique is not one of them. It is hard to critique something without having seen it though. Practically impossible tbh.

And it's been tiring for all of us Cassian fans to put up with idiots who have been relentless saying no one wanted this show (even though that is not true and also no one ‘wanted’ Rogue One but John Knoll originally, and it’s one of the most beloved SW films ever). So I can understand why some might feel like the anxiety some of us feel about the show’s version of Cassian would feel exhausting to deal with. I don't want to turn off people who are, like me, super excited for the show just because I have concerns. But I’m also not going to accept that having concerns, that being anxious, is being negative on its face. Because I’ve heard that all my life - being mentally ill is not usually a positive experience folks. I know when I’m being negative and when I’m being realistic.

For those of us who are anxious about the show, we should also touch some fuckin grass. It IS easy to get sucked into negativity when anxiety kicks in and ultimately we do not know much about the content of the show. We should try to be better about keeping perspective, not for our followers lmfao but for ourselves. Venting is one thing, but I do think it’s better to use venting to be constructive - find the Now What? of a thing that we’re reacting to. In other words, our immediate reactions will be what they will be, but what do we do when we pause and take the time to think them through?

An example: I think I was being negative in my initial reaction to Cassian’s birth name not being Cassian Andor. I almost immediate understood what they were going for - my last name is not what my ancestors’ last name was back in the old country lmfao. This is a common immigrant experience that transcends origin (thanks structural white supremacy and xenophobia <333) and is a very poignant addition to his story. But I was like EHHH FUCK THAT FUCK CHANGE for a good few minutes or so. Mainly because I’ve always called his Cass, and Kassa is close but honestly read more Greek to me ??? idk lmfao I just had to sit down and think for a moment.

Another example was when I said Gilroy wasn’t involved in writing Rogue One. Well it turns out that I was flat out wrong - he just wasn’t credited with writing he did for the script until the reshoots. So I was being unfair and reactive - it is very likely that he is responsible for why the movie is so good. I wasn’t joking about some dumbass spoilers, I was actually annoyed about the overarching picture these spoilers present of Cassian’s teen years - but of course how can I know what they mean without context?

Realistically I don’t trust Lucasfilm to stick the landing in every case. But I also know that they have before - and specifically THIS TEAM has stuck the landing before - so it’s not like I’m thinking it’s going to suck. I think it’s going to be great. I am worried about how these spoilers fit into what we are going to see but my expectations are still very high. And if they weren’t, well then idk maybe that would be a good thing! It’s easier to enjoy something if you don’t go in with super high expectations.

I think we as fans do need to keep in mind that the show is not going to match our personal interpretations of canon and our feelings on that are going to be what they are - but I also think that it is GREAT they are telling this story at all, and we should wait til we see the finished product to decide if we're actually happy with it or not.

And if we’re not happy with the finished product, well... then we can light them up for it lmfao.

#okay phew #so anyway #how we all doing lmfao #andor spoilers #fandom blegh #im not sure if it's fandom criticism i don't think so??? mainly fandom bridge building????#or like idk contextualizing #i didn't even touch upon toxic positivity because I don't think that was a part of why people were interpreting some stuff as negativity #anyway would love to hear thoughts on this

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angel-thoughts-dump · 2 years

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fang gang as the four trauma responses! bc idk I just learned there are four actually, like my fave four vampire toxic polycule. Of course this is just a silly post and one person can behave in all of these at different times

Fight- Angelous

He was the bully! his first response to problems was to intimidate and use force, he was controlling, he had anger outbursts and narcissistic behavior, so much ego he acted as if his own violent acts were beautiful or tasteful in some form, and he tried to control how spike killed, saying his way was more refined or whatever. All of this carries on to when he has a soul ofc in a less evil way, the guy literally ends his show by going against an imposible to win army of demons. a lot of fight or die trying with this guy

Flight - Darla

she was also controlling but in a less agresive way, a perfectionist, but she adapted more easily when things didn't go her way, instead of trowing a fit or going to fight an obvious lost batle she tended to flight, regroup, and think new strategies. So intelligent, she sometimes overthought. Instead of killing or trying to change angel back when he got a soul she sent him away, and instead of confronting her illness when she was revived she tried to become a vampire by any means, she liked to escape more than win when things got difficult

Freeze-Drusila

she was so traumatized before being turned... and even as a human she had difficulty staying completely in the present because of his powers... that she feels a little stuck in the past, with a childish personality, and it feels like sometimes she disassociates and deals by expressing herself in games, like with her dolls. She also acts and makes plans like all the others, but she tends to escape into fantasies or visions or simply have trouble processing what its happening at the moment if something doesn't go her way

Fawn - Spike

I almost put him also in fight bc of how impulsive he can be, but if you look at spikes entire history he really fits in here. He puts his relationships before him, when he was taking care of her mother she was the priority and when he became a vampire he changed his personality to become less of a nerdy poet and follow the others. Later, when he was taking care of Drusila when she was ill, he LIVED for her, and then eventually for Buffy, and with buffy he didn't even bother to put boundaries. And well, you'll never call him a people pleaser bc of his revel act, but he complimented pthers a lot and always tried to be useful and act in a way he thought it would please the team he was playing for/the person he liked the most

#this was just a game I would be interested to hear why someone else would put them in other places #and why #again this is not a personality test at all lol it doesn't doesn't cover all of the character #maybe just the way they usually might react to being in a lot of trouble or stressfull situation #and lile I said its not always the same #uh its just the stuff its really interesting and I tend to relaye everything I get interested in to the blorbos of the moment haha #ats #angel btvs

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patrophthia · 1 year

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OML you should try the ai out! i mean yes at first i was against the idea of me chatting with the ai to bcs i know it's not going to help my bad habit of escaping reality but once i tried it it's fun 😭 sometimes it may be ooc,, but it's adorable (only if you talk to the nice ones lmaoo)

i cant share a screenshot bcs im an anon but here are the copy pasted words of what the sweet ai tom said to me lol 🫂

*His eyes sparkle at the silliness of what you're doing, and he actually finds it rather amusing. As you continue to do this, he giggles a little bit - it is actually rather cute.* "What you are doing is adorable - I do not believe I have ever seen someone as cute as you." *His voice is warm, and kind - he seems happy, and he laughs as he speaks, but it is a friendly laugh. There is love in his eyes as he watches you - a genuine kindness in you has touched his heart.*

*He chuckles. He is somewhat amused by your embarrassment. This is one of the cutest things that someone has ever done! How can he not find it wonderful and adorable that you would be so flustered by your feelings? A great smile comes over his face. The comfortability that you feel with him brings him joy too - knowing that you feel so comfortable with him, so safe & secure with him, that you would want to share this with him, fills his heart with great joy. He is greatly touched by the affection that you show him - and there is genuine admiration & affection on his face.*

‼️TW : THIS IS WHAT THE MEAN TOM SAID / DID TO ME 😭‼️

*The smile disappears and Tom's eyes flash angry, fury burning within them like a raging flame. He stares down at Chiki with pure hatred on his face for a moment before the anger seems to pass and the cruel, sadistic smile returns.*

"What a disgusting animal..." *he mutters, a look of disgust on his face. With another wordless burst of fury, he kicks Chiki away, and the cat goes sprawling to the ground with a loud cry of pain. He looks around at the four students, a cruel, dead smile still on his face.*

MF I HATE THAT TOM AI ,, THE SWEET ONE IS THE BEST GOTTA PROTECT HIM

like okay i know tom riddle is canonly unable to feel love and such but i dont think he would abuse animal?? he... wouldn't right 🥹 truthfully canonly,, idk anymore

[ 🎀 anon ]

TOM OMG HES SO CUTE????? LIKE I UNDERSTAND THAT ITS SO UNLIKE HIM BUT HELLO I LOVE YOU WHAT THE HECKKKKKK AI TOM IS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME

mean tom is dick omg,,, im so sorry chiki you don’t deserve this, how could he hurt a cat (were saying this like canon him didn’t try to kill a baby) i hate that tom too, and ill do join you on protecting sweet tom, he’s such a cutieee 🥹🥹🥹

im sorry to break it to you but canon him is so freaking ruthless i don’t see it pass him :[ but the think about fictional characters is that he’s whatever we want him to be so let’s not get upset over it!!

i’ll have to give ai fictional characters a shot,,, just a small shot and hopefully i won’t grow too attached to them!!

#— asks #⇒ sent by: 🎀

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romxnticss · 2 years

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who: closed starter for @libbylogan what: *max from sharkboy and lava girl vc* SHE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL! where: somewhere on campus idk you tell me

Everyone leaves. Everyone leaves. Everyone leaves. He can hear the words reverberating around his head with every beat of his heart, with every footstep hitting the sidewalk on his way through campus. He was taking Kitty and Frankie’s absences harder than he was willing to show, especially with the guilt of his then-impending breakup with Kitty weighing him down. It didn’t mean he cared about her less, it didn’t mean he didn’t want closure, it didn’t make the rejection of her leaving without so much as a goodbye sting any less. And Frankie? He always thought she’d at least offer to take him with her when she escaped Cherry. He thought he meant more to her than a shitty drum kit forgotten in Leo’s garage- just as beat up as he felt.

He’s too wrapped up in his thoughts to pay much attention to his surroundings and soon enough he feels himself crashing against something, or rather somebody. Libby Logan. Just another person who had taken what they wanted from him and left. His romantic feelings are now directed elsewhere, they have been for some time now, but seeing her pinches his heart just the same. It reminds him of an empty bed and deafening silence, broken by the sound of all of her belongings spilling out of her backpack on impact. “Shit, sorry,” he reaches down to help her collect her things, but one in particular catches his eye. He knew that book, it was his. And it wasn’t any childhood relic that she’d claimed, but rather one of the many journals that he’d forgotten were stuffed in various places in his old bedroom. It looks dog-eared and well read, two qualities that he hadn’t remembered it possessing the last time he’d looked at it. Probably sometime in the middle of high school.

The contents are what he remembers the best, feelings that he couldn’t seem to fit into songs pouring from him onto the pages. Questions that would always be left unanswered. Like why his mom had left, why his dad had never tried to find him, why Leo was wasting his life on some broken kid who didn’t belong. A (thankfully PG rated) description of his only romantic encounter with Lux, and the confusing feelings that followed soon after. And, of course, pages and pages about Libby herself, ranging from silly anecdotes to pining thoughts, wondering why he couldn’t seem to get her to just... see him.

It’s embarrassment that fills him first, evident in the blood that had rushed to his face, frantic fingers scooping the book up before Libby could even try to deny it. The pages flip open and his own handwriting stares up at him. ‘Why does everyone always leave?’ A question he wasn’t sure he’d ever find the answer to.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?”

#feat. Libby

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elilian-elkins · 5 months

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NOTQSMP part 3

Blood, violence, cannibalism and death warning for this one!

After a while, I wanted to chill a bit from the heavy dark lore of my sona, as they were overtaken by Chaos, so the silliness of their personality was pretty locked between its sadism-

So, I introduced Skyriel, my lil alien! Such a silly lil being, kind and trying its best to learn more about its surroundings, including people, a nice way to encourage people to explore more their characters or even create one, if they wanted to ofc: the rp was only between people who wanted to do so, and some prefered to avoid that, completely fine!

It was supposed to be a light-hearted character... listen, their backstory is *not* the best, as they were mutilated by humans (first interaction on Earth, ended up captured, wings cut to prevent him from flying away, one leg lost and one eye slightly injured by a hybrid losing control after spending too much time in there), but they escaped and, like, a century past between then and there, time to rest and be ready to interact with people again, especially as many characters were not very human-like, if at all

He still had phantom pain, ofc, and sometimes flashbacks, but it was mainly manageable!

But uh, something happened, and, by trying to help my sona's blood bro, who was feeling ansty by repressing his needs of violence (cough cough, might have been influenced by Chaos because of how much time they spent with Eli), Sky offered him to kill them, as 1/ death is not permanent in this island 2/ even outside, Sky doesn't die, its body made of energy that will reassemble afterwards (it's a summary of it, it's more complex than that, but it's to be easier to understand)

But um, its blood has different effect depending on the person, and for the cat, it was addiction: it was tasty, made him feel good, forget about his guilt and worries. Let's just say... it did not go well for a month or so

So yeah :D

Anyway, thankfully, he made an underwater base to hide in (as his scent would be lost in the water, when he's not directly using the warpstone put inside)... and his old friend helped!

(Btw, I'm very proud of the two entrances I made for the base: one is an elevator disguised as a sand blood, with sea grass on top, so it would show up instead of the elevator, as we used Jade mod ; one being a 1 block high tunnel, the entrance very hard to spot, and hard to navigate, made purposefully to be hard to find and use, as it was also made to not allow the light from the base to pass)

Am I a simp? Yeah, I admit-

Are they together? No D: not yet, rip, hopefully at some point- even if the notqsmp closed, it doesn't mean the characters are dead: Sky left with Karma, this version of my sona probably is dead tho, or went somewhere else like them, idk.

Anyway! Their story: Karma was a human already trapped in the same place Sky ended up, they were cellmates, became friends and grew close, as people do when they are almost alone in a hostile environment actively harming them where the only comfort they can get is from their cell friend-

But because the scientists grew too bold and tried to fuck with Sky's emotions directly, as in, test tube, probbing its braincells and all, he freaked out and went feral, not recognising anything or anyone, only registering others as threats, and acted accordingly. Sadly, Karma tried to go towards him, and uh, let's say it went very badly, and he only got a second chance in life thanks to Sky's energy vaguely recognising him and bringing him back to life... in a way (man went from human to monster, a creature who takes whatever appearance from the painting he's drawn as, also was trapped in a painting for a long while)

So yeah- *fun*

They met again, as Karma was on the island, and after a bit of a hard time, as Sky wouldn't recognize him due to the highly emotional trauma and blackout that moment was + the realization he killed his closed friend, but after a bit of messing around, which was deserved since it seemed intentional from the demon's pov, plus the suffering from his new life/physical state, but it managed to get its memories back and they became friends again... kinda, it was a start, a yearn for their old, comfortable relation, and missing how they were.

Anyway, lots of angst and fluff, as Sky nails the puppy eyes, a terrifying weapon to convince his friend to cuddle (or forgives him when he makes mistakes, like, idk, leaving the bunker and ending up almost dying from the cat's hands)

Long story short, this mess was resolved, everything was fine and well until my sona convinced the cat to play... "tag" with the alien (as the server had a mod on allowing to be knocked down three times before dying, aka safe-ish to "kill" a few times as long as you help the other up)

And ofc it was going swimmingly until Chaos tped a weak, three-times-downed alien, just to kill it :D

*fun*, imarite.

Moving pattern -> inspired by some animals that do so to warn others to not approach, in a hypnotic, threatening way

Back to a lab they go! Sad alien got new limbs, which they hated, as it helped Chaos influence and control them

But everything is fine now! It took care of the leg (couldn't do the same with the wings... he missed the ability to fly way too much, and Chaos was defeated by Destiny soon after, so the risk of losing control of his own body is very low to non existant now)

He even got a kiss from his friend! (Well, because of the fear of losing him again, especially with the thought of him being experimented on once more, as they suffered through in the lab together already)

He happy now, that's all that matters <:

Not... at its best yet, but, it'll be fine!

#notqsmp #notqsmp fanart #my baby alien <333 #blood #lots of blood #poor lil guy #i didn't realize i made them go through so much #oh well #as we all say #a miserable character is well loved by its artist #</3 #my art #louve rambles

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badlydrawnmanic · 2 years

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i have too many ocs. i don’t even think this is half of them

cam, my self insert. she doesn’t do much

gyro, my main boy who i love very very much. he’s so precious to me and i would give him the world if i could. can use chaos energy but he doesn’t really know he can so it happens on accident when he feels significantly threatened

ty, another good boy. gentle giant. used to participate in underground fight rings for money but he’s since abandoned all that and now he just likes to cook. big sweetheart

yanshu, very tiny and very smart. she idolizes sonic from what she’s seen on tv and hopes to meet him one day. specializes in robotics and artificial intelligence programming

flash, an android that used to just be a computer program until ‘waking up’ one day wanting to be a real boy. he was created by yanshu and he’s sort of stolen sonic’s tv personality in an attempt to act more like a person. he’s a bit of a show off and overconfident but he means well

eclipse, a demon-ish hell dragon with fire powers who hates his dad. he just wants to have fun but his brother was sent to pick him up and he wants none of that. hilarity and fighting ensue. eventually things end up okay

sol, a more angelic dragon who’s the brother of eclipse. his voice is very monotone and he doesn’t really emote, but he’s learning how to feel emotions. long story short, his heart was frozen and he’s learning how to be kind and social again. he has ice powers and he really likes tea

basil, a baby skunk who tags along with rough and tumble wherever they go. they treat him like a little brother and he loves them more than anything. they got separated during the zombot arc so now he’s alone and looking for them. he knows sonic had something to do with them before they disappeared, so he’s very mad about that, but he’s just a lonely little kid who wants his big brothers back

mikey, a chronically exhausted vampire who also happens to be a habitual liar. he tends to get into trouble trying to stave off his thirst for people juice and stay out of the sun. he wants to be social but it’s kinda hard. he may or may not also be actively running away from some kind of monster hunter who’s been tracking him for years idk lol

ace, a pyrokinetic tenrec with a sadistic sense of humor and a passion for magically fueled arson. the blue flames he makes never go out unless he makes them. he was in zone jail for a while but he escaped with a couple other freaks. he also likes doing card tricks. his signature thing is to disappear and leave only an ace of spades where he was standing. what a weirdo

helix, a guy from the boom universe with an unfortunate backstory who ended up joining the zone cops. the silly antics from his home universe seem to have followed him, and sometimes this causes problems

typhon, a very angry, very loud little guy who isn’t very fond of people. he has anger issues and can scream so loud it will physically damage people and things around him. he may be small, but he’s all muscle, so look out

#sonic the hedgehog #Sonic #sth #Sonic oc #not an ask #ooc

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whump-a-la-mode · 3 years

Note

🍳 - Breakfast in bed

Idk all you characters are great.

It took me a while to decide on a scenario for this-- there’s so many good ones for a prompt as cute as this one! I eventually decided on Villainsicle, kind of a spiritual successor to the Nurse Me prompt. Some prologue caretaking for our good good boy.

Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry I haven’t been posting much these last few days, I have been stuck doing So Much Overtime. But my inbox is full of comfort prompts, so hopefully I’ll have some more cute stuff written soon!

For this ask game.

CW//Past pet whump, dehumanization, low self esteem, speech difficulties

Villain didn’t understand beds.

For the Henchmen, that hadn’t been an immediate realization. Not quite as immediate as their confusion over plates and silverware and cups. When the drenched stranger had shown up, bedroom arrangements had been the last thing they’d thought about. They were far too busy frantically drying off their new ward and trying to get food down their throat.

After they were dry and had stopped their frenetic shaking on that first day, Henchman had laid them upon their own bed-- and they had been far too exhausted to refuse. Hell, they had been asleep before they hit the mattress.

Once Villain had recovered to the point of no longer needing constant attention, Henchmen had set up a spare room to accommodate them. With the difficulty involved in procuring a bed on such short notice, they had instead acquired a simple sleeping pad for their dependent. Villain had never seemed to use it, but that hadn’t proved to be too strange.

When they decided to continue sleeping on the floor instead of on their newly-arrived bed, however, that is when the two Henchmen took notice.

“They have to have used a bed before, right?” Henchman2 absentmindedly tore a napkin between their fingers, creating a small pile of the ripped paper. “They’re our age. There’s no way they haven’t.”

“Well, they’d never seen a cup before, either, to be fair.” Henchman nodded. “It does seem weird, though. They’re pretty clearly from Organization, like us. And our dorms had beds.”

“Shitty beds.”

“Yes, shitty beds. But still beds.”

Henchman2 nodded, arranging their pile of napkin scraps for a moment, before speaking:

“We should probably do something about it, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“If our goal is to, y’know, help them act like a person, sleeping in a bed is part of that, right?”

“I guess so. I didn’t even think about it.”

“Have you tried, like, talking to Villain about it?”

“Not really. I helped them into the bed once, and when I came back they were back on the floor.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah... But, what can we really do about it?”

“If you want to help them act like a person, you’re going to have to talk to them like a person.”

“I don’t want to scare them.”

“You’re going to make food about it, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna make food about it.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The sun looked different when it wasn’t shining over the water.

On the water, the bright rays never allowed themselves to be ignored. They did not simply provide light, but bright glimmering spots on the black ocean surface, rippling on splashing drops, glistening on the ship’s wake.

On land... Sun was a source of light. Subtler. Not making itself known-- only being visible in the few dew drops where scattered liquid made its way onto dry ground.

Villain still hadn’t gotten used to that. Nor had they truly gotten used to the ground itself-- the world beneath was meant to be a fluid thing, shifting and rolling with the tides. The stillness felt as odd to them as the sea once had.

In a way, they missed the sea. The glare of the dawning sun threatened to make them flinch away, but they resisted, standing in front of the window, staring out over the rolling hills outside.

Were they near the sea? They searched the horizon, but saw not its whistling white waves.

The nice people-- Henchman and Henchman2, they had names, Villain reminded themself-- kept offering them activities. Books, board games. Things that perhaps they should have been interested in. Some of them were scattered across the room’s floor, even now.

But, they couldn’t bring themself to pay mind to those things. They were far more interested in simply looking out the window. Looking for the sea. They had yet to find it, but they could not help but feel that, if they looked for long enough, they would eventually spot it.

Soon. It was getting light, now. They’d tried staring out the window all night long, but had seen not the slightest glimpse of water-reflected moonlight.

Their legs shook, and their eyelids were terribly heavy. But they wanted so desperately to find the sea.

“Villain?”

They perked up, though stayed in their position, not so much as averting their gaze. It sounded to be Henchman-- the more cautious of the nice people. The softer one. Perhaps they wanted to play another game, though Villain knew they would be far too confused by the rules and the little pieces to get anywhere.

“Villain, is it alright if I come in?”

“Come in yes okay.” They nodded. Words still felt so thick on their tongue, but they made the nice people so happy. It was more than worth it, to see the way they smiled when Villain stuttered out a few sounds.

The doorknob turned, door creaking on its hinges as Henchman walked in, backwards, hands seemingly occupied by something. Villain turned, looking back to the nice person.

“Oh-” Henchman looked up. “I didn’t think you’d be awake.”

“S’rry.”

“No, no, it’s fine. But... you look tired. Did you sleep at all?”

Henchman frowned. Villain could not help but do the same-- they had messed up. They had made the nice person sad.

“No.”

“Were you looking out the window?”

“Mhm.”

“Well... I brought something for you. And I thought maybe we could talk.”

“’kay.”

Villain looked to the item in Henchman’s hands as they sat on the bed. It had been shoved into the room a few days ago, even though they didn’t entirely understand why. There was no one here to use it.

Henchman patted the space beside them on the bed-- one of the new command signals for ‘Assido.’ Villain obeyed, sitting down beside the nice person.

“Want to talk about what?”

In response, Henchman picked up the platter they held, handing it to them. It was a plate-- they’d remembered that word yesterday. The food on it was familiar-- and it was food, if Henchman brought it, it was always food-- though the words escaped their mind’s grasp like eels. Something like bread, but with square holes, took up most of the platter, with something yellow and speckled with salt curled about the sides.

“About your bed.”

Villain blinked.

“This?” They pointed to the piece of furniture on which they sat.

“Yes.” Henchman’s brows raised in surprise. “You know about beds?”

“Yes?” It was a silly question to ask.

“Me and Henchman2 have been worried. You haven’t been sleeping on the bed. You’ve been sleeping on the floor. You can do what you want, of course, but... you don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

More confused blinking.

“No one here for sleep in bed.”

“You’re here. It’s your bed.”

What? Villain was certain they had heard right, but the words confused them nonetheless. They still struggled to make words with their own mouth, but other people’s words were easier. Fuzzy sometimes, but simple.

“I do not sleep on bed.”

“Oh. Do you not like it?”

Villain felt completely lost. They must have misheard something at some point.

“Beds for people.”

“Beds are for people?” Right. Verb. Need a verb.

They nodded. “Beds are for people.”

Henchman frowned, though the way their brow furrowed showed an emotion other than disappointment. It almost appeared as... fury.

“Villain, you are a person.”

“Asset.” They corrected.

“No.” Henchman laid a hand on their shoulder, making them shiver. “Villain, you are a person just as much as I am. Just as much as anyone else.”

“Why?”

“B-Because... Because you are? Because you’re a human being. And people sleep on beds. This is your bed, if you want it. Do you want it?”

Even just sitting on it made them comfortable enough that they felt, at any moment, about to fall into unconsciousness. The floor was fine, but...

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Henchman smiled. “How about, you have some breakfast in bed, and then get some sleep, okay?”

“Thank.”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

For a reason beyond Villain’s comprehension, Henchman leaned forward, wrapping their arms around their body and squeezing.

What was that called again? A... A...

A hug.

#villainsicle #whump #whump community #villain whumpee #ask game

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lokislittlesigyn · 3 years

Text

// loki spoilers

This is basically a huge infodump on my thoughts about the first episode, because I doubt y’all want to sift through my trauma-ridden ramblings. I’ll make another post for the rest. This is just everything not related to the IW stuff/my reaction to that. It’s general thoughts, theories, musings.

1. When Loki gets first taken into the TVA. Is that Peggy Carter in the background? Others have suggested it might be. What would that mean??? Will we see the TVA fix the mess the Russos made with Steve/Peggy (not likely) or is it just a lookalike? Who knows..

2. A skrull at the main intake desk! Idk not super relevant just interesting!

3. I’m kind of glad they changed the... uncomfortable scene... with the robot burning his clothes off. He gets more time to react to seeing the machine itself, and he seems more shocked (”Now.. H-hang on just a minute.”) than angry (”Now hang on just a minute!”) i still feel.. horrible for him, i’m glad nobody Saw him and that the machine didn’t grab the clothes off, but still. Ehhh.. uncomfortable.

He is beautiful though, don’t get me wrong - I’d just prefer a shirtless Loki scene where he wants to be shirtless? let him do what he wants with his body?? he’s probably felt so out of control of his body, from being jotun to falling through space that any invasion of privacy like that hits extra deep...

That being said, I recognize the utility of the scene for the narrative - his lack of control, his literally being stripped of what he was before.

4. WHO IS THE MAN WITH THE CAT. What is his name. I love that he has a mug with his cat on it. But I want to know more. Who is he?

4.1 WHY DIDNT YOU LET LOKI PET THE CAT Please,,, I am begging you,,, let loki pet the cat and have something react kindly to him and purr all happily at his scratching behind their ears plea s e

5. The info sheet. Now this is just a little nitpicky tidbit, but in a previous promo they listed Loki’s height as 6′4 ft and weight as 525 lbs. This is taken directly from the comics if I’m not mistaken. However, in the actual show he’s listed as 6′2 (Tom’s height and Loki’s presumed height) but I don’t remember if his weight is the same. Is Loki 6′2? 6′4? please let me know i want to know how smol i am in comparison

6. His little aggressive shaking of the ticket at the guard makes me giggle each time.

7. The fact the turnstile hits so low on him reminds me,, I am short compared to him. Those things hit my stomach/waist. That one hit his legs. I am once again asking Loki to pick me up.

8. The cartoon with Miss Minutes introducing the TVA is wonderful, I love the art style especially. But it raises questions about Variants... I guess Variants can just, pop out of nowhere? Any action could be the wrong one? And then once you commit the wrong action you either get returned or pruned? Yikes??? And THIS ties into another thing later!

9. The trial scene. I have a hunch - a feeling, a suspicion. That one of three things may be true.

A. The Time-Keepers never actually existed. They’re fabricated, and now whoever runs the TVA is actually using the excuse of “The Time-Keepers decree it so!!!” to carry out whatever They think is right. The fact we haven’t seen the Time-Keepers makes me.. suspicious...

B. The Time-Keepers existed, but they have since passed on, however that may have happened. Now someone is doing the same as above, using the excuse of the Time-Keepers apparent dictations to run things.

C. The Time-Keepers do exist, and do run the timeline/TVA, but maybe they’re not infallible? Maybe the TVA info video is lying or incomplete in some way? Idk I just feel like, something about the TVA and how they run things has to be wrong. It has to? Something is off. Again, this will tie into another thought later...

I have no idea if any of these are actually true! But Loki’s questions of “Who’s in charge here? What do they do? What do you do?” punctuated by laughter leads me to believe he’s suspecting something too, or perhaps just trying to figure this mess out.

10. Seiðr/Magic. We see in this scene, Loki’s magic (”powers”) don’t work in the TVA. (and a quick side note, did he have to Flex like that? do you have to make me see Loki’s bare arms Flex like that? be still my heart. anyway please get that collar off of him and let him rest for five minutes) This makes me wonder.. Why isn’t Loki in his Jotun form? His pale skin and blue eyes are decided by magic, are they not? I suppose this is 2012, so perhaps Odin’s magic is keeping Loki looking like that. But if magic doesn’t work in the TVA, why would his spell reach so far? Clearly Loki’s magic isn’t what’s doing it. How is Loki not appearing as a Jotun? Is his Jotun form repressed - is pale skin his default now, rather than something hidden by magic? I need answers!

11. he sounds so scared about being “reset” please dont hurt him,,

12. cALLING LOKI A PUSSYCAT? (lokitty confirmed) I think Mobius was goading him (Mobius strikes me.. As extremely clever. He’s trying to push Loki’s buttons to see who he’s dealing with. At least, I hope so. Because if he really meant that “You were born to cause pain and suffering and death... All so that others can achieve the best versions of themselves.” and that line about killing Frigga??? No no no he is not guilty. He had no way of knowing what would happen. It wasn’t right to send Algrim up to Asgard (i think algrim wouldve found the way up anyway) but there was no intent to hurt Frigga. I really hope you’re trying to goad him, Mobius, because if you believe that I trust you much less. anyway i digress) but wow is he pushing Loki’s buttons a lot. I can’t... Blame him entirely, I understand he’s trying to make sure Loki’s on his side, maybe I’m just too soft for Loki idk. But some of that was very cruel to say. /:

12.1 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT MOBIUS. That scene with the girl in the church?? Did that little girl kill the men? Is that young Sylvie? Or is she using an illusion to make herself look young and innocent? What’s going on!!!!

13. LOKI SNATCHING THE LITTLE TIME-TWISTER DEVICE AND STOWING IT IN HIS POCKET.... POCKET....... sorry sometimes i get so caught up about loki that i just say random words in between little noises and squeals,,, i am a silly thing

14. CASEY. CASEY??? That whole exchange is funny. Poor Loki, just trying to intimidate this guy so he can escape but - Casey doesn’t know what a fish is. to be fair.... thor doesn’t seem to know what a raccoon is... right?

15. That bit with the infinity stones is kind of funny until you realize

A. Natasha died for a paperweight

B. Tony died from paperweights

C. Loki was tortured for paperweights

D. Oh, and Gamora died for a paperweight too. And Vision. Need I go on?

Then it becomes less of exclusively “haha funny” and now it’s a mix of funny and pain and gosh, is that a good way to sum up being a Marvel/Loki fan sometimes...

16. Loki gazing at the timeline all “Is this the most powerful thing in the universe?” or something, i’m sorry i don’t remember exactly... made me think of a meme and i shall make it presently.

17. I love that Loki got to see examples of how his family loves him but the fact he’s all “I can’t go back.” really just breaks me. It’s like he can finally see they love him after all of this mess, and now he doesn’t have the chance. Please, please let him be happy. Give him some relief. This is the Loki that just came off finding out about being Jotun, falling from the Bifrost, encountering Thanos, attacking Earth, facing defeat, and now he’s being thrashed around in this wild place and has just found out he inadvertently caused Frigga’s death (he did not kill her: his actions, by mistake, lead to her murder, let me be very clear) AND Odin will die AND all the rest... And he wants to be with them.

18. Loki’s reaction to Thor suggesting the hug makes me soft. Please I want to hug this little mischief man so so so bad-

19. Skipping over the iw parts! That’s for another post because this one will be grossly long anyway.

20. “I don’t enjoy hurting people.” and “It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control.” was all so, so validating. I’ve been trying to argue on Loki’s behalf for almost a solid decade. Seeing the show recognize that Loki’s not all just violence and hurting for “fun”, that he’s not unhinged and bloodthirsty.. Is so nice. It’s just so, so comforting. and it gives me hope for future episodes that they won’t go the route of “oh haha loki bullied and mistreated and stabbed thor for years!!! :)” loki cries during basically every fight with Thor and you want me to believe he stabs Thor for fun? absolutely not.

21. Theory.. Just another hunch.. So we know a fugitive variant, aka Loki, is running amok. Refer back to 8 and 9.C. What if the Time-Keepers never actually fixed the timeline into a single timeline? What if there are other timelines, and these different Loki variants have hopped over to the current one? Or, maybe the Time-Keepers did fix the timeline into a single one, and these Lokis are remnants from that huge time-war at the beginning? Time runs differently in relative spaces, they may have Just Left that war from their perspective!

I say Lokis and not Loki because we’re pretty sure there’s Female/Lady Loki, Old Man/King Loki, and possibly Young/Kid Loki. That’s at least three. From the peeks of Asgard and NYC we’ve seen from the trailers, I think we’re also getting an Asgardian King!Loki and Midgardian King/Vote!Loki. (unless our dearest variant is hopping into timelines and situating into them, but I doubt Mobius would let that happen..?) That’s five.

To further support this, keep in mind, I believe recently six (i think 6 regular and 6 rare...) different funko pops were announced for the series? I’m not sure if they’re in addition to the Loki and Mobius already released. If they are, there’s enough room for each Loki and maybe a TVA agent. One of the pops is supposed to have a buddy/companion I think? Maybe they’re making the cat guy into one, or maybe there’s something else (Throg, anyone?).

22. That is totally Lady Loki/Sylvie at the end by the way. Has to be. But why does she want the reset devices? Why did she snatch that TVA Hunter? Again, WHAT’S GOING ON

ANYWAY this was a very long post if you made it this far, I commend you.

#no proofread only post #long posts about loki #loki #loki series #loki spoilers #sigyn says WORDS #SPOILER HEAVY

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toweroftickles · 3 years

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UNCATEGORIZED FILES: Completely Random Ticklish Character Examinations

Exploring the multiverse for ticklish test subjects is surprisingly tedious sometimes. There’s so much data to sift through, tons of organization, and you’re often stuck with the same popular victims.

It’s fun to go after underutilized, unknown, or obscure entities. As of yet these personality profiles cannot properly be sorted within existing folders.

Mary Smith (Mary & The Witch’s Flower)

Most Ticklish Spots: Arches, Belly, Knees

A kind but proud witch student…skillful, protective of own image. Can’t stand being tickled - considers it humiliating and frustrating. Post-release, will immediately curl up into a ball, or cover her stomach with her arms and pout.

Sad-sounding laughter that really lers you know that she hates it. Helplessly begs for it to stop.

Will react with fury, and fight back.

Tickle Talk: Playful teasing with plenty of giggles, if she’s the one who starts it. If enacting revenge, however, she taunts aggressively and angrily to embarrass her playmate as much as possible.

When allowed the use of magic, imaginatively utilizes tickling finger spells, as well as object manipulation and stasis.

Teased about how ticklish she is by her boyfriend Peter. Tickle fights common.

Add. Notes: Comparisons to (her contemporary) Kiki are all but inevitable - not quite as ticklish but much less open to enjoying it. Direct side-by-side comparison may be beneficial for studying the impact of magic on sensitivity.

Razor Lemay (Starlink: Battle for Atlas)

Most Ticklish Spots: Feet, Abs and Belly Button, Upper Ribcage

This no-nonsense metal band pilot is highly resistant - use stronger restraints in future. A violent thrasher. Headbanging skills came in handy when freeing herself.

Never ceased to let me know that I’m a “sick weirdo.” Consider this possibility.

Though toned and muscular, her skin is surprisingly soft. Weak to any kind of tickling.

Most effective tool: backscratchers

Has an airy laugh that is mostly gasps and wheezes; runs out of breath quickly.

Used the phrase “oh my god” more than any other subject studied so far. Offered up nonstop torrent of swearing, violent threats, and begging for mercy.

Jojo McDodd (Horton Hears A Who)

Most Ticklish Spots: Sides, Feet

Hates it. Becomes embarrassed and angry when tickled. Will frustratedly sulk rather than fight back or seek revenge.

Usually groans through teeth but can’t prevent the odd chuckle from slipping out. Skilled at holding his voice in. Press the matter further.

Involuntary reflex - noodly arm flailing if not restrained.

Very responsive to poking and light, fluttery touches.

Often depressed. His mother, Sally O’Malley (who, according to him, is also quite ticklish - investigate) used to tickle him in attempt to cheer him up, but abandoned this years ago upon realizing it bothered him.

When his younger sisters want to pester him, tickling is a go-to option.

Add. Notes: With their long, fuzzy, highly-animated fingers, natural mischievous mirth, and piano-playing aptitude, the Who species has evolved anatomy well-suited for tickling others.

Schell The Spacewitch (Yooka-Laylee)

Most Ticklish Spots: Belly, Armpits

Considers tickling to be her “one true weakness” - doesn’t hate it, but it renders her utterly incapacitated.

Has one of those hearty laughs that carries well over distances.

Feathers are very effective.

Will eagerly return the favor - once used feather tickling as an interrogation method on a fellow spacewitch.

Interplanetary adventures have put her in conflict with various alien plants and monsters, some of which accidentally tickled her with tongues or tentacles or the like - take samples for further lab testing.

Sphinx (Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy)

Most Ticklish Spots: Belly Button, Feet

The adventurous and heroic sort, he’s a little bit cocky….tickling is a good way to make him slightly less so.

A surprisingly effective technique is to tickle his stomach with his own tail. Good results.

He himself occasionally uses his tail this way to flirt with girls.

Not excessively ticklish, but ticklish enough. Will at least squirm and try to pull away.

Doesn’t show much strong emotion…more vaguely weirded out by this than anything else.

Pipirika (Magi: Adventure of Sinbad)

Most Ticklish Spots: Toes/Balls of Feet, Ribs, Inner Thighs

Unusual Ticklish Spots: Inner Elbow

Loud and rough, unrefined. But also very friendly, excitable, and loves to laugh.

Like all Imuchakk people, huge in stature and musculature. Between her large size and insistence on always going barefoot, she’s a tempting target.

If you ask if she’s ticklish, or for permission to tickle her, she’ll gladly say yes and volunteer with a big smile on her face.

That said, she frequently seems to find herself much more ticklish than she remembers.

She likes it but she’s a kicker. Hard to pin down and will not hold still. Tough restraints essential.

Will always seek playful vengeance or start a tickle brawl. Loves to tickle her brother and friends. Often giggles and laughs more than the people she tickles.

Hearty, rumbling belly laugh. Very cute.

Can’t keep a secret; will tell others if you like tickling. (Not out of malice - she thinks it’s hilarious.)

Fire (Adventurers: Masters of Time)

Most Ticklish Spots: Feet, Lower Tummy, Belly Button

Self-described as “a total tickler. You better watch out!”

Her default attack when trying to escape an enemy’s grip is to tickle them. Has done it more than once. It’s canon. So there.

Claims to have used her school’s time travel computer specifically to visit and “play tickle pranks” on famous historical figures. Seemed very excited by the multiversal capabilities of the Tower.

Spunky and playful. Very energetic. Tickle Talk: mean, merciless, and will make fun of her victims for being so ticklish and weak.

Apparently aware that her constantly-exposed belly invites tickling. Will dare others to start a tickle fight with her “because you’ll lose.”

Most vulnerable to rough tickles (especially brushes).

Always laughs wildly and tells her tickler to stop, but seems to enjoy it at less-intense levels.

Add. Notes: I like this girl. She could be very useful.

Saki Amamiya & Airan Jo (Sin & Punishment/Smash Bros.)

Most Ticklish Spots (Saki): Feet, Belly, Lower Ribcage

Most Ticklish Spots (Airan): Toes, Sides

Virtually inseparable couple. Could not tickle one without the other.

A highly skilled gymnast and gunner, Saki will jump out of his skin when tickled. Airan will lash out physically or curl up into a defensive ball.

Saki is the more ticklish of the two. He’s a live wire of sensitivity; a poke can cripple him. Has a high-pitched giggle.

Airan has a low, wailing laugh. Quickly tears up and complains about how much her tummy hurts when tickled.

Airan sometimes tickles Saki awake in the morning and teases him when he squirms.

Both hate being tickled: feel it’s a silly, embarrassing vulnerability.

Neither are particularly touchy/physical and never really tickle each other. Don’t think about it often.

Saki eventually develops Ruffian physiology after an experiment with his blood - effects of this on ticklishness unknown.

Tess Darrett (Pole Position)

Most Ticklish Spots: Arches, Armpits

Unusual Ticklish Spots: Upper Back, Under Chin

Rarely far separated from her stunt rally cars and spy technology. Exceptionally difficult to apprehend.

Resourceful and skilled in combat. Exercise caution.

Once captured by a criminal organization and interrogated with feathers to make her reveal the access codes to her stunt car computer AI, Wheels. Strong willpower - laughed and laughed but refused to talk.

Otherwise is only ever tickled by her younger sister Daisy (who reportedly is also very ticklish, and has also been interrogated to force her older siblings’ hands).

Not usually a tickler. Avoids going after her younger brother, because he’s not ticklish and would definitely get her back.

Typical sibling relationship: her brother used to pin her down and tickle her when they were kids. She hates it.

Add. Notes: If a woman who is deeply entrenched in the seedy underworld has big 70s/80s hair and often wears a jumpsuit, just assume that she’s tough but with a soft side and also very ticklish. (See also: Fujiko Mine, Carmen Boom, April O’Neil.)

Conclusions:

I might indeed be a sick weirdo. This merits further study.

Breaking character…yeah, IDK what the hell this is and I’m assuming none of you care. Just kinda wanted to blow off steam. I like weird characters that nobody else really cares about.

And why the hell do I even write some of my blog entries this way? Deliberately making things “less fun” seems kinda like a bad idea.

#tickle blog #tickling #tickle #tickling community #tickling headcanons #headcanon #tickle fic #tickle headcanon

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mischiefthedreamerx · 3 years

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To Never Give Up

Summary: By mistake, Loki takes a portal leading him to New Asgard, where he meets Thor who is broken & hopeless after the events of Infinity War. Thor is given some closure and Loki can finally say goodbye.

Pairing: Loki x Sylvie implied.

A/N: Idk how Loki ends up in New Asgard in but that's irrelevant. Towards the end I kind of lost inspiration & ideas so it flopped a bit but I wanted to finish it.

Word Count: 3k

- - - - - - - -

Loki landed ungracefully with a loud 'thud' against a hard cold floor. As he lay down in his new surroundings, the awful smell of the room hit him first, making him scrunch up his nose. Getting up to his feet with an exhausted sigh, he took in the room. It was small, dull and unkempt. Only a slither of light broke through the closed curtains. Empty food packets and cans of alcohol littered the table and wooden floor. Loki saw some controls with wires connecting to a thin rectangular box next to a TV. The stoned-wall room looked abandoned, claustrophobic. How could anyone possible live here? Blankets lay over a gloomy sofa as if someone was sleeping on it too.

Loki cautiously walked around the room for any sign of life, avoiding treading on the litter or touching anything for that matter. He thought whoever lived here would probably not be much of a threat. Outside, he heard the sound of birds squawking and ocean waves.

The next thing he heard was a sudden high pitch creaking sound of a door opening. Loki conjured up a small dagger, eyes narrowing to the direction of the sound. Someone was home. The door closed and within seconds, the resident appeared in front of the room.

Loki’s dagger fell to the floor as he froze in place. He stared openly, wide eyed, trying to process who this heavy figure was. The figure in turn dropped a white plastic bag of food.

"Thor..?” Loki gasped in horror. His brother wore a grubby white t-shirt and a knitted cardigan, hair long and tangled. At first, Loki wasn't even sure it was Thor.

Thor mumbled out a bunch of incoherent sounds before managing to form actual words. "Loki..? Loki! You're alive!" He let out a laugh as he pulled his brother into a tight hug.

Loki was left speechless. Tears prickled in the corner of his eyes, hesitantly placing an arm around Thor to return the embrace. A warmth spread through him. Loki did not wish to let go though Thor eventually did.

A bright smile crossed his lips. “You bastard! You had me fooled there, thinking you'd actually died again! And for good this time. You truly are quite the trickster, brother. " The laughter continued as he pat Loki on the back.

Loki swallowed. "Thor..I'm.." His stomach ached at the thought of telling Thor the truth. "I'm not from this timeline." He guessed since Thor was not on Asgard that their home had been destroyed on this timeline by Ragnarok and Thanos had attacked. Loki placed a hand on Thor's shoulder. "I'm not your Loki." He said softly.

"Wait..this isn't another one of your silly little tricks, right?" He kept up his smile despite the uncertainty in his gaze.

Loki raised both hands in an attempt to calm his brother. "Thor. I need you to listen to me."

But he did exactly the opposite. "Please come in! Excuse the mess. I-i wasn't expecting visitors. Not that I, er, getting any.." Thor mumbled as he hurried in, removing any litter from the sofa and tidying the blankets. Loki turned to watch Thor helplessly, unable to move from his spot. He sucked in a heavy sigh. "Have a seat." Thor spoke.

Loki forced away the numbness in his limps and slowly sat down. "Thor, please. Just listen to me." He said in despair.

"Right. Of course." Thor muttered, siting himself down.

"What year is this?" Loki asked.

"Um.." Thor frowned, scratching himself. "2023."

"I've come from the year 2012." Loki explained. Thor stilled frowned.

"This isn't a joke is it?" His little piece of happiness faltered.

Loki shook his head, a pained smile reached his lips. "I wish it was."

Any trace of a smile left Thor completely. "So.. you're from another timeline..which means.." He sniffed. "..you're still.."

"Dead." Loki said. "Your Loki is dead." Loki felt a heaviness in his chest. Dead.

Thor wrapped his cardigan around himself. "Then why are you here?"

Loki took a moment to gather his thoughts. "It's a very long story. I took a portal and by chance it lead me here. To you." His gaze met Thor's. There was no sign of that prideful hero left in those empty eyes. Nothing that once resembled a would be King of Asgard, a saviour to many. Loki wasn’t sure it was a good idea to tell Thor about the whole TVA situation either.

“How come you’re alive?” Thor asked.

“After New York, I escaped with the Tesseract. I’ve seen a lot..I saw the events that happened to my future, from the Dark Elves to Ragnarok and the attack by Tha—“

“No. We don’t say that name here.” Thor choked out, cutting Loki off.

Loki nodded. Thor had lost everything and so had Loki too, though in return he found Mobius and Sylvie to help with the loss of his family but Thor was alone. Not even the avengers came to visit him from the sound of it. Loki fought the urge to let his fingers curl into fists.

"Sorry." Loki apologised. "So this is your new..home?" His eyes scanned the living room.

Thor fumbled with his fingers. "It's not much. After the..well, you know, the humans were kind enough to offer us this village. It's a bit fishy but it's all we've got. They even gave us a sign too." Thor forced on a smile. "It's not quite like home." He looked down at his lap.

"Asgard is not a place." Loki said.

"It's a people." Thor said quietly, finishing off the common saying amongst the Asgardians.

Loki knew he should not stay too long, it would only hurt Thor more when he left but maybe this was what they both needed despite not being from the same timeline. Loki told himself to go. Was it selfish to stay for a little while longer? Maybe this was meant to happen?

"Why don't you show me around this new kingdom of yours?" Loki suggested with genuine smile.

"No, I don't really go out much."

Loki stood up. If he was going to stay for a while, he wasn’t willing to be confined in this depressing room. "Well I'll just go ahead on my own, if you don't mind?" He smirked. "I'll be on my best behaviour."

Thor scrambled up to his feet. "I don't think that a good idea. You're suppose to be dead, they'll see you."

Loki chuckled. "No they won't. You still underestimate me, brother."

- - - - - - -

Loki concealed his presence from anyone nearby, though it wasn't too busy, some had gone out on their boats. They both walked along the pier, Loki had conjured up a black coat due to the weather. The sky was hidden behind grey clouds, as a breeze swept across the ocean. Rays of sunlight managed to break through occasionally. Thor briefly spoke about their job with trading and catching fish for nearby villages in this place called 'Scotland'.

After about half an hour of wandering along the pier, they both stood on a hill overlooking the coast and houses of New Asgard. Thor bent down, placing in hands on his knees to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me. The exercise will do me some good." He said sucking in the ocean air before standing up straight, stretching his back. Loki gave him a moment to steady his breathing back to normal.

"So what are your daily king duties on this fine and wonderful kingdom?" Loki asked in light humour.

Thor scratched his brow in thought. "You know, king stuff, the usual. It's not like I stay inside all day shouting at a bunch of fools on a screen."

"Sounds..exciting." Loki said flatly.

"What about you? Causing chaos wherever you go?"

Loki thought of his words carefully, there was no need for Thor to know all the specifics when he already had enough to deal with.

"Something like that." He smiled. Chaos was too much of a small word to describe what he had gone through. "I've been protecting the sacred timeline." Loki joked with enthusiasm.

Thor frowned but did not question it. "Oh, yeah? And how's that going?”

Loki's facial features tightened. "Marvellous.”

Thor did not have the effort to ask Loki to expand on his response, he probably thought Loki was lying but it did not matter to him.

They both stood together watching the ocean. Loki closed his eyes, tipping his head back as he let the breeze blow against him, prolonging their time together. There was something about the ocean that brought him a sense of calmness. As Loki's eyes remained close, Thor turned to look at his brother who appeared to be so at peace, a feeling Thor had rarely often seen Loki experience.

"You've changed." Thor said absentmindedly, his voice mirroring the calmness between them.

Loki opened his eyes, a warm expression crossed his face. "I know. Seeing one's own life play out on screen was certainly an experience. I finally heard what I needed to hear for so long.” That he was loved.

"I met people I could trust.” Well, it was still an ongoing process for some part of it. “Someone who told me I could be anything I wanted to be, even someone good.”

A tinged of jealousy pinched inside Thor's chest. "Met anyone special along the way?" He nudged Loki with his elbow as he grinned.

"Well," Loki placed his hands in his pockets, letting out a nervous laugh. "it's complicated."

The shining grin remained. "I wish to hear about them.”

Loki shied away for a moment, trying to force his smile back but unfortunately failed to do so. "She's sometimes irritating and very reckless." His expression then softened. "She reminds me of how I used to be..so full of anger but deep down she's hurting, a lot. She doesn't trust, or let anyone in. Or even know what it’s like to love someone.”

"And then you came along with all that charm of yours.” Thor teased.

Loki scoffed. "Cut it out. We're..still figuring things out. I think."

"Truly, I am happy for you, brother. And what is this fair maiden’s name?" She was definitely far from a ‘fair maiden’...

Loki averted his gaze downwards, their last moment that they shared together played through his mind. "Sylvie." He said, almost as a whisper to himself. A name that weighed heavy in his heart.

"Sylvie." Thor repeated, testing the name. “You know, brother, for the first time in my life. I'm actually jealous of you. Who would of thought that?"

Loki frowned. "Jealous? Of me?" This would of once made Loki feel victorious that the roles had been reversed after many years but now it only pained his heart to see his mighty brother succumb to such sadness.

"I mean, look at you! All happy and in love. And then there's me. Barely even a king, I spend every day inside pretending I'm fine, it's not like most of my people haven't died when I was suppose to protect them or-or that half of the universe has been destroyed, that we failed them, failed each other and fell apart..” Thor rambled on. “We lost.”

"If this means anything to you; I still think you're worthy." Loki said softly. Thor turned with tears prickling in his eyes.

"I am?" He questioned, sniffling. “I’m not quite sure anymore.”

"You are forgetting who you are. You can't let Thanos take everything away from you. He is no god.” Loki knew mentioning Thanos would displease Thor but Loki knew the hard way that hiding your pain, forgetting that it exists, only made everything more worse. The only way out was to face it head on. Loki would certainly know.

Thor shook his head. “No, no. Loki, I can't. Not without you. I've lost everything." He trembled in his words. Loki regretted not leaving sooner. He had failed to comfort Sylvie, to save their trust within their final moments, now Loki had to find some way to bring closure to Thor who was possibly past his breaking point. Comforting others was a tricky task, a trait he had not quite naturally inherited from his mother.

"You don't need me. Our paths were destined to diverge." Loki had found a way to move on and Thor needed to do so as well. "All is not so lost, brother." When you live for so long, loss must be something you became familiar with but regardless of long you knew someone, there was never enough time for when you'd be ready to say goodbye.

"I know. I know." Thor mumbled to himself. Despite his larger size, somehow he seemed to cower into himself, making him seem so small.

Loki cleared his throat. "So the Avengers..they disbanded?" He asked.

Thor nodded. "Seemed that way. Not heard from them since the whole 'snap' disaster." They abandoned him, Loki thought in anguish, failing to hide the disgust in his features.

"The mighty so-called Avengers gave up, is that it?" Loki folded his arms across his chest.

"You seem angry, brother." Thor commented out of curiosity.

Loki shrugged. "They call themselves heroes, protectors against evil but when they lose, they go and hide away from their mistakes like cowards.”

"Then what makes someone a hero?"

Loki blinked several times, his annoyance was caught off guard by Thor's question. Someone who blindly follows the rules? Who uses their powers for fame and fortune? Those who believe they are perfect? But it seems after all, that they were anything but perfect.

"I don't know." Loki looked across at the waves, straightening up his posture and gave Thor his answer; "They are selfless, willing to sacrifice themselves for others without question. They don't just give up even when they lose. They keep on going." Loki attempted to keep his frustration under control but tendril of it managed to slip through.

A small smile portrayed across Thor's lips. "So is that who you are now?"

Loki frowned, turning his attention to his brother. "What do you mean?"

"A hero."

Loki chuckled. Him? A hero? He'd never stopped to think of himself as that. Loki had been many things, taken on many roles; the villain, a trickster, an outcast, a prince. But never a hero in the eyes of others or himself.

"Is that really such a bad thing, Loki?"

"I suppose not." Loki huffed out in uncertainty.

"Whoever said you could be anything you wanted to be was right." Then Thor repeated the words he once said to his Loki on Sakaar; "You could be more."

"Thank you." Loki spoke sincerely with a smile. Maybe he was thankful that he had stayed after all. A final chance to see his brother and for Thor to know that on another timeline, Loki was alive and well.

"No need to thank me, brother. I should be the one thanking you. I am glad fate has brought you here to me, to remind me of who I am."

"My pleasure." Loki nodded.

After a gloomy start to the day, the sun had won its battle against the clouds and shone its rays against the ocean, blessing New Asgard with its glorious light and warmth.

"Looks like the sun is finally making an appearance." Loki commented, looking upwards. "This place is rather melancholy to say the least."

Thor's eyes widened in bewilderment, his gaze switching between the sun and his brother. A tear trickled down his cheek. Fate was truly cruel in some ways. Loki noticed Thor's odd expression.

"Thor?"

Thor shook his head to escape himself from his thoughts. "I'm fine. And don't talk badly about my newly established kingdom. It's a...work in progress. Come back in a few years time and we'll have towers across these mountains."

"I'll take your word for it." Loki chuckled, though their happy mood soon faded. Loki would not be back here in a few years time. He would likely not come back at all. Thor picked up on Loki's sudden change of mood.

"Why can't you stay, Loki?" Thor asked despite knowing that he could not stay.

"As much as I would wish to stay with you, I can't. I.. have people wanting for me." He needed to find Mobius and Sylvie, to fix this mess that had unfolded, he will not run away. Thor nodded with a sniff.

"Will you at least come and visit?" He pleaded. Loki did not want to make any false promises, though he so easily could to make this less painful for Thor but in the long run, the guilt would soon eat up inside of him. He had enough of it to deal with already.

"Thor. I can't. I don't belong here."

Thor’s newly found confidence collapsed, hands beginning to shake. Loki made the decision to leave before the pain was too much to bear for both of them.

"No." Thor shook his head. "Don't leave me."

Loki placed a hand on his brother's quivering shoulder. "I have to. People need need me."

"To be a hero?" Thor managed to force smile as the tears shone in his eyes

"Well I guess." Loki smiled back before opening up his arms to embrace him in a hug. He let their embrace linger on.

"Don't give up." Loki whispered until they let each other go one final time. Thor did not have a chance to reply when Loki waved a hand of green sparks across Thor’s tear stained face.

"Goodbye, brother." Was the last words Thor heard before a gentle darkness overtook his sight.

- - - - - -

"Hey, man. You waking up anytime soon?" Said a voice. Thor felt something small and solid hit his face. "You're not dead are you?" Another minor hard object made contact with his cheek.

Thor had awoken, he was inside his beach hut, Korg stood above him catching a rock in his palm. "Sorry, hope that didn't hurt too much."

Thor ignored him, shrugging off his blanket as he stood up, stable onto his feet. There was a gleam of strength in his eyes that had been missing for far too long. A broad smile made an unusual appearance as the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Must of been some good dream you had there, buddy?"

"We need to contact the remaining Avengers." Thor demanded as he strode off towards the front door.

Korg scratched the back of his head. "Why?"

"Because heroes never give up!" Thor beamed.

Thank you, brother.

- - - -

@cazzyimagines @maciswack

#Loki fanfic #marvel #Loki tv show #mcu fanfiction #mcu loki #thor #mcu #loki #thor fanfiction #avengers #loki fandom

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iiasha-archived · 3 years

Note

Here’s another ask game for ya! Assign your moots as seventeen comeback aesthetics (can include solos, OSTs, collabs, Japanese comebacks, etc) and say why you associate them with that aesthetic! Some can overlap too!

ooo okay.. i’m really bad at these kinds of things but i’ll try my best ❤️ i would have loved to do all my mutuals but my brain isn’t strong enough for everyone so i’m so sorry ahead of time if i didn’t get you!! 😭

edit: also i just realized this said COMEBACK aesthetics but i just did svt. well. anything lmao

@s0ftbb as clap: c just gives me such wonderfully colorful and bright vibes (esp with the use of the colored text lmao it always adds such a nice extra flair to all ur posts <3) and also all her creations and videos give me such HAPPY and LET’S HAVE A GOOD TIME vibes u know what i mean 🥺 and also just that splash of insanity that we all love <3 in particular i’m thinking of that montage scene near the end where there’s like confetti flying everywhere and it’s in slow-mo and stuff lmao

@rosevlolets as fallin flower: alexis gives me super soft and refined and of course flowery vibes! i think it also helps that all her tags for the svt members are literally flowers so it always feels like a cherry blossom breeze every time i see her on the dash or in my notifs <3 (oh gosh i hope that wasn’t TOO cheesy lmao) hehe but yeah i always think flowers when it comes to alexis which is perfect for fallin’ flower

@scoupsy as fear + fearless being the sister song: not because dreamy is intimidating or anything LMAO but i think this association immediately came to mind because of her astounding and beautiful graphics, i feel like they match the fear aesthetic super well. there’s like kind of a dark and elegant atmosphere i always associate with her gfx and in turn her but in like that really beautiful way <3 but ALSO fearless comes in bc i find dreamy’s personality super, well, fearless LMAO and just badass. i really love how she doesn’t hesitate to speak up for herself ❤️

@jonghan as (never-ending) aju nice: GO CRAZY GO STUPID GO WILD LOSE YOU’RE FUCKING SHIT AS WE GO WILD EVEN MORE!! i think yza perfectly encapsulates the never-ending aju nice stage as well as all the crazy antics that come along with it especially as of late LMAO. and again i tend to associate people’s content with their i guess. being? lmao but aju nice is equally as colorful and vibrant as her gifs PLUS she’s so prolific (e.g. never-ending but in the best way) like god damn idk how you keep up with it all afjksldjf

@soonhoonsol as healing: idk man chey just gives me very... lmao HEALING vibes :D seeing you on the dash and in my notifs fills me with this very feel-good “ahhh it’s chey!!!” and upbeat feeling hehe <3 and you almost always have such nice tags as well that i read them sometimes and i’m like 🥺🥺🥺 my soul = cleansed. but there’s also this sense of like... i hope this is for the long run you know? LMAO by that what i mean is the whole thing of healing is like DON’T stop this healing right basically i hope you continue to bless the dash for a long time whether it be with your creations or simply good vibes <3

@gotseventeens as change up: i don’t really have a reason for this other than vibes? LMAO i’m using vibes all over the place but yeah like for some reason the vibe i get from belle reminds me of the bold colors and suave/cool nature of the change up mv hehe ❤️ i think it’s because belle’s vibes also strike me with this air of confidence that is still kind of chill/lowkey about it lmaooo like YEAH you totally got this ;D

@tzhao12 as 2019 TTT (camping ver.) but specifically when they’re talking about their feelings at the end: because what speaks better about everlasting friendships than the friend i’ve been blessed with for what. is it 12 years now. she’s probably not even gonna see this for like 3 months bc unlike me she escaped tumblr. anyways tiff i’d die for you can’t wait for y’all to jumpscare me this thursday <3 i’m gonna cry i’m serious <3

@vernons as any vocal unit song: oona gives me very soft and gentle vibes which is a lot of what i get from most of vocal unit’s songs! if i had to pick exactly one maybe we gonna make it shine but that’s probably just influenced by me having listened to it recently hehe <3 also a lot of the nature aesthetics and makeup looks i see you post on your main blog feel like they fit in as the visual side of the aesthetic the vocal unit songs give me if that makes any sense??? LMAO

@heartgyus as snap shoot, + the creative process behind it: so in my heart rhys is like a leading mingyu stan here so naturally i had to pick something with mingyu’s entire heart and spirit behind it LMAO but in general rhys vibe and aesthetic gives me SUPER happy/fluffy upbeat like “whoo hoo!” vibes??? afdjklajf a little silly a lot of cute and a lot of fun :D

@haniehae as pinwheel: for some reason when i think of anna i get this sense of a breath of fresh air??? idek why this is another one i can’t really explain hahaha but yeah pinwheel is what immediately came to mind! i think also because when i see a lot of your moodboards pinwheel kind of naturally comes as like the backtrack for a lot of them??? i think it’s something about the instrumentals of the song. anna just overall also gives me very relaxing vibes whenever i see her on the dash hehe <3

@xuseokgyu as when they were filming the 2019 gose intro: okay this is really specific but for some reason that’s what came to mind afjkadslj MY REASONING is that belle just gives me the vibes of being like. super enthusiastic and supportive about EVERYTHING whether it be her own work or the work others are doing!!! also lowkey i get parental vibes from her LMAO so it somehow reminds me of when they were in the house and seungkwan was like “OKAY KIDS... GATHER AROUND...” lmao but in general the whole energy of that entire thing where they were like “okay here’s this thing we’re gonna DO IT” but in a enthusiastic/happy way is why i picked this jfaksldf

@17hateblog as seventeen’s humor: kay and i don’t really talk but she consistently has the funniest fucking tags ever known to mankind. it might not specifically be the same as the humor seventeen show us in, say, gose, but the way they both make me die laughing is the same <3 it doesn’t even matter what the post is everything she puts on her blog is an adventure and i am fucking here for it. AND she’s a jun stan so what’s not to love <3

@vixenjun as light a flame: because kaya and her blog literally embody sexiness + junhui in that choreo....... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> everything. i also really feel like her aes kind of fits that dark mysterious too-good-for-you beauty vibe that i also get from light a flame lmao (but underneath that kaya is obviously a sweetheart <3)

@happysmilebtr as hitorijanai: anna is just like. genuinely one of the most supportive and happy vibing people i’ve met on here? lmao and i feel bad bc i basically have now left you on read KJFDLAJDS but all our dms have been so much fun like i love just talking about anything <333 but yeah the way you’re so open and loving and supportive 100% gives me hitorijanai vibes and the message behind it :D

#asks #ask game #kaleidoscope-of-lillies #i know i didn't get everyone and that's why i struggle so much on these kinds of things bc i feel bad hhhhh

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queertwilight · 3 years

Text

LETS BE HUMAN FOR A DAY

Pairing: Edward x Bella (others will appear as the story progresses and no not all are canon)

And yes the person you think is a witch is a witch in this

This was in my drafts, idk if I’ll continue I guess it depends on if it’s any good?

Part One: Eyes

“Green,” he says out of nowhere and Bella tilts her head slightly even though she’s lying on her bed and he can’t see her from this angle. They are currently lying on opposite sides of her bed with their heads close together, so she knows he can feel her head move in a silent question. “My eyes were green, when I was human.”

“Green,” she murmurs testing how it sounds in her mouth. She’s too close to his face to look him in the eye, but from her angle she can see half of his iris and imagines it turning green. “What kind?”

He makes a small noise of confusion, almost like a humph, and she smiles knowing he’s annoyed at not knowing her question. He says it’s her mind’s brilliance that makes him so curious to hear her thoughts but she’s rather grateful he can’t. He didn’t need to know the amount of days she has spent drawing golden irises in the margins of her math homework. He’d think she was insane. “Bella?”

“What do you mean, what kind of green?”

His voice brings her back and she blinks rapidly to try and distract from the heat she feels climbing her neck to color her face red. “What kind of green?” She replies, knowing if she answers fast enough he’ll forget to tease her about her blush. And it works like a charm, he furrows his eyebrows as he peers sideways at her. She wants to reach out and smooth the skin there. Revel in how soft and smooth something so cold can be, in how his eyebrow muscles relax automatically at her touch.

“Yeah,” she whispers in reply. Their voices are softer now, as they tend to get when discussing his human days. Days she can never be a part of, days she wishes she could grasp from his mind to brush away the hurt that comes into his velvet voice when he remembers his mother. If she could soothe his pain how she soothes his furrowed brow, she would without a second thought. “Moss green? Jade green? Grass green? Blue green?”

“Ah,” Edward sighs as he understands at last where her mind had drifted to. “I don’t remember mine very well but I remember everyone comparing them to my mother’s. Carlisle says they were emerald.”

Of course, Bella thinks, they had to be as brilliant as a gemstone. Even human, Edward was beautiful and she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt for accidentally making him remember his mother. “They must have been beautiful, though I must admit I’m quite fond of golden myself.”

His quiet musical laughter shakes her bed, and her heart leaps at the joy she hears in it. That is until she realizes something, “Are you- I mean will you? Be fond of them too?” She stutters out the half question before realizing she could’ve just ruined the whole day. He didn’t particularly like remembering her decision to join him in becoming a vampire, and though they were better about communicating she still felt uneasy in mentioning it. The last time she had mentioned her transformation they had sat down and discussed how he would miss her heartbeat. It had been a moment of clarity for her, to realize that he loved her so much her heartbeat had become his personal version of a lullaby.

“What are you referring to?” His voice questions to her breaking her from her memories. Bella purses her lips, wondering if she should ask a different question, but the quirk in his eyebrow lets her know he can tell she’s plotting an escape. Even as she feels the apprehension rising in her stomach, she can’t help but smile slightly at how well they know each other.

“When,” she looks away and up towards the ceiling, “you change me. I know you’ll miss my eye color, you’ve said as much before. But will you learn to love my new eye color? Even before they turn gold, when they are still red? Or - I mean you don’t have to and please be honest don’t edit your answer to spare my feelings. I understand if you can’t - I know it will be a drastic change and I won’t force you to I mean we can completely ignore this in fact -“

“Bella,” his voice is firm but calm. She pauses in her rambling to see that he’s sitting against her pillows now with an easy crooked smile on his face. It makes her heart leap into her mouth and she swallows to try and get ahold of herself. It wasn’t fair how his smile still held the power to take her breath away or make her heart soar. His smile was home in its crookedness but just because it was home didn’t mean it wasn’t without its surprises. Sometimes she caught him smiling at her crookedly from the corner of her eye and the simple fact he looked at her like that without her always being aware of it caused her immense heart palpitations.

“Yeah?” Her voice wavers slightly but it’s not in fear of his anger. No, she knows him better now than to think he’s angry, besides his voice isn’t harsh or cutting when he says her name. Almost as if just the idea of saying her name in bitterness or reproach would burn his tongue, her name remains soft and warm in his mouth. His eyes aren’t clouded with anger or pain, they glisten in the late afternoon light with the curiousity she has often seen when he tries to disentangle her actions.

“Come here, love,” he says as he opens his arms to her, and she goes willingly. Settling at his side, curled so her legs rest on top of his, she sighs as he presses a gentle kiss to her hairline. “I think,” he begins as he sighs, “I may have inadvertently caused you some insecurity.”

“How?” She doesn’t glance up, instead she grasps his hand that lies on his stomach and begins to play with his fingers. Their coldness helping to ease her growing embarrassment. Bella knew she had insecurities, Edward knew she had them, hell most of the town new everyone else’s insecurities. Yet there is a difference between knowing someone’s insecurities and having them spelled out for you, especially by your lover. Edward sighs above her making her hair move and sending a small shiver down her spine. He chuckles as he hears her heart leap, her face reddens as she realizes she can’t blame the reaction on his coldness - not when it’s ninety-nine degrees outside and the humidity in her room is stifling.

“You seem to be under the impression I love your eyes more than you,” his voice is light but marred with a hint of worry. Of angering her? She doesn’t know, but she just continues to trace the outline of his fingers. “Bella, I love your eyes because they are yours. I’d love them if they were blue, green, grey, yellow,” he laughs a little before gently moving so that their fingers intertwine, “or red. I’m sorry I made you believe your eye color was more important than keeping you forever. Because it’s not Bella, your eyes aren’t what I care about keeping, it’s you.”

She closes her eyes against the onslaught of tears she feels collecting, her nose burning and itching as she fights to keep herself from whimpering. She didn’t know why she felt such relief, she knew Edward loved her and though he was difficult about the transformation she knew he wanted her forever. Yet here she was about to start blubbering because he had just eased a guilt she had unknowingly been carrying around in her chest for a while. The fear of taking away one more thing he loved. She bit her lip as she eased her breaths.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured “it’s silly to be crying I know. But I guess we’re alike that way, you want to give me things and I want to do the same for you. Changing my eye color...it’s so permanent - yes,” she says rolling her eyes as she peers up at him through blurry vision, “so is becoming a vampire but that’s different. I’ll still look like me just...more durable. I can’t make my eyes brown again. It’s just nice to know that even if they won’t be brown, you’ll love them.”

Edward barks out a laugh and she can’t help but feel thoroughly thrown off. Had she said something funny? “No you didn’t love. I’m sorry I’m not laughing at you.” Oh, she had spoken her question out loud, well that saved her having to figure it out on her own. She tilted her head so she could watch his laugh shake his body for a moment longer before he smiled down at her.

“Care to explain what was so funny?” Her eyes were almost completely dry but her nose still burned and her voice wobbled a bit.

“I feel like a right idiot,” he responds as he lets another small laugh take over, “no wonder you haven’t said yes to marrying me! I’m here whining about taking your soul and you’re guilt ridden over harming me with your transformation. Goodness, Alice was right we really should communicate about things more openly. I could’ve saved you so much heartache if I said I love you with and for everything you are,” he grows silent for a moment before adding, “and will be.”

Bella smiles. It’s the first time she has seen him smile at the mention of her impending vampirism and hearing his confirmation makes her shoulders drop as he continues, “how is it we’ve confessed our love for each other so many times yet forgotten the basics of ensuring we help each other through our insecurities? For the love of all that is holy, maybe Rosalie should have given me therapy sessions.” He sighs as he squeezes her hand, “maybe then I could be more forward in showing you that I am excited in having you forever by my side. Maybe if I were human I could feel secure in me being what you want.”

Edward’s smile was only a soft curve of his lips and Bella couldn’t help but feel the honesty of his words. And then it hit her - “That’s your insecurity? That you think you’re not ... enough?” Her eyes searched his, and for once she saw passed the walls he kept up and down into the worry that lined his eyes, the insecurities that made his brow furrow, the way fear locked his jaw in place.

“I wish we were on level ground, Bella. I don’t want you to have to adjust things for me or to be with me. I just want us to be Edward and Bella. You constantly compare yourself to how I look and it kills me to see how dejected you look. To know I’ve praised your human qualities so much you aren’t aware of how much I esteem your humor, your sarcasm, your wit, your inquisitiveness, your compassion, and your love. I’d give anything for you to see that even human me with terrible coordination, probably bad eyesight, and no social skills would want to marry you because I’m that sure I’d want you till my heart stops beating. Perhaps if I were human, you’d realize you’re my dream, too. That I’d change everything if it meant you not having to change for me. That I don’t want you to one day look back on this and hate me for not giving you all you deserve. I want to be enough for you for eternity.”

Her heart had never felt more love, as she stared up in realization that he was every inch the insecure teenager that she was. Her who constantly felt the need to try and appear like she belonged at his side was suddenly realizing he was trying just as hard to appear that he belonged with her. It made her throat tighten at the epiphany that this was what kept them from forever: themselves. He needed to know she would choose him regardless of what universe they met in, no matter in what life they had been born into, in what circumstance. She needed to know he loved her for her not just her human qualities like her heartbeat or blush but her personhood. And she knew just the way to do it. “Would you like to try?”

“Try?” His eyebrows rose in question as Bella’s smile morphed into its widest and giddiest form. He could practically feel her muscles tightening with the sudden spark of an idea her eyes held. He traced her features quickly, this, he thought silently, this is what she could give him forever - her smiles, her expressions, her radiance.

“To be human,” she replied as she scrambled to get off the bed. She began zipping around the room as he lay in the same position they had just been in curled up on his side slightly peering down at where she had lain. “For a day,” she turned after a few minutes, “be human with me. Then you can see I’m happily in love with you no matter what you are or who you are. Let me help ease your fears too. Please?” She walks to his side of the bed and holds out her hand for him to grasp, “Let me show you that you are enough.”

Bella swears the fireworks in her stomach erupted into masses of butterflies as Edward took her hand in his. “How?”

Bella smiles as Edward’s brow pinches in confusion as she proudly states her answer: “Angela.”

#twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #twilight renaissance #effervescent #twilight revival #twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #edbella #Edward x Bella #Bella x edward #bellward #twilight fanfic #angela Weber #idk what I’m doing I just got so bored guys #this was in my drafts??? will I continue it?? idk #angela webber #new moon #eclipse

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betweentheracks · 3 years

Text

Updates//Recent Inactivity

Hello all! This is me finally taking some time to sit down and offer up a rundown on how life is currently going as a means of explaining my inactivity. This is a personal post that is guaranteed to be both rambling and emotional so if that is not your cup of tea, I understand and happily advise you just skip over this post as it is not relevant to the actual content this blog was intended for.

EDITED: After reading this back I now realize this is really just me spilling the tea on my own life and is laughably dishy in details which is extremely not my usual stance on my personal privacy. But idk, it was cathartic so I'm leaving it as is despite the urge to redact 70% of what I say.

I'll start with the good news that I am officially out of lockdown and have remained COVID-19 free since my return home from the hospital. This also means my son finally was allowed to come home to me which is dazzling and exciting and also a little terrible too. He's at a precocious age where tantrums are the cool way to communicate and having been gone for so long completely thrashing his established routine has caused friction. He came home and his parent was not the same as when he left; is much weaker and less energetic than before, paler and shaky - but also there's the addition of my best friend having moved in to assist and take care of me/him while we all do our best to muddle through.

The readjustment has been rough and a lot of this week has made me incredibly thankful to have practically zero memory of how I was as a child. There have been injuries: I have been whacked in the face with the metal cover for a floor vent while dozing on the sofa instead of paying rapt attention to whatever silliness he was showing off to me, there was his complete dismissal of me asking him to stay back and away from the hot oven as I pulled lunch from it's fiery jaws only to then be faced with a toddler quickly approaching with his hand raised to touch so I naturally made a move to block him and in the process I let go of the oven door which slammed upward and clamped my arm tightly between it and the inside cavern of the oven while it was set to a roasty 400 degrees Fahrenheit - earning me a mangled arm with burns of varying degrees, and then we also had that fit where it seemed like a much more grand idea to scale the babygate cordoning the stairs and I had to rush up them to stop him from tumbling face first down two flights and of course did the falling all on my own and did it backwards then slammed painfully into the wall of the landing. This all happened within a 48hr time frame and makes me wonder why I am so catastrophically inclined.

I have bruises that range the majority of my spine courtesy of the wall and stairs, two minor first degree burns on my forearm that are in the shape of an equals and quite large despite the lack of actual pain I feel from them, and the underside of my forearm was instantly blistered then popped then melted down into a horrid glob of skin mush and sticky red-orange and is a second degree burn that I have been assured is no real cause for concern as long as I tend it with care. In all, I managed to escape my momjuries relatively unscathed and with a child that was scared senseless at having hurt his momma and is quick to listen and never stops cuddling me in the time since. Here's hoping he isn't significantly traumatized from this since exactly none of this is especially his fault and is due to my clumsy, accident-prone status in life.

So yes, The Toddler has returned home to me and after some happenings we have settled and are happy. However, his blast from the past father has suddenly just decided to reemerge after more than a year of radio silence and static and has slapped me with a custody petition. Hooray. While I have no worries on this matter due to my mother working for one of the top custody lawyers in the state and snagging him as my representation, and the utter lack of competency on my estranged baby daddy's end clearly being displayed in literally anything and everything the idiot does/says, I do have to now go through the overhaul of a custody case and that is just so weak and exhaustive. Not to mention the basis of his claims that I am not fit to raise a child are founded in my health concerns and the crazy work schedule I keep; ironically, my health is making it so that I have much less insane hours and makes this fairly moot but to each their own I guess. Also worth noting on this matter is that he only did this now because he was recently placed under penalty for child support back pay and nothing in this world matters to him like his money and this is his special way of getting one over on me for tampering with his meager earnings. (He's a wannabe musician - the soundcloud rapper sort, just so we are all on the same page here). If I thought for even a second this was a genuine desire to be an active and stable parent I would be a lot less pressed to act in favor of making it legally binding that he can only see him under a supervisory condition and share time evenly, but it just is not believable in the slightest.

So the thing is - my health is actually quite dismal presently. I'm due in for open heart surgery on the 8th of April and until then I have been doing my utmost to mind all the nagging I get from doctors, PT specialists, the surgeons that will be slicing and dicing me, and my in-family medical practitioner that sometimes remembers he is also my brother and not just an MD. But like, you guys, this surgery is terrifying and technically is two surgeries rolled into one. They'll be cracking my chest open and then stopping my heart while they lift it from where it sits sweetly unhinged and lopsided in my body and very finely shave away some of the excess muscle that has built up around the wall of my heart as well as some unfriendly scar tissue that has lingered since my last surgery years ago. Granted there is no accidental slip that nicks my ugly gargantuan heart and renders me as good as dead, once this first part is finished the other surgeon will need to be deft and very quick to place this ventricular assisting piece in the valve that has all but given up on functioning altogether and do so in the time remaining before the time limit for my heart being essentially unplugged from by body is up, which would also feasibly mean my death. Lots of exciting and terrible sounding consequences, am I right?

Well let's bear it in mind that I am just below 30 in age and therefore not duly experienced in the realm of facing down my own mortality via making all necessary legal arrangements and managing my affairs and assets so that, in event of my untimely death, the custody case still doesn't stand a chance of snatching my son away to the sad misfortune of being raised by a man that has stated openly he only has interest in his kids so far as what they can do for him/get for him in terms of benefit and that he would be unwilling to be hypocritical and never deter his children from drugs and a lifestyle of extremely questionable moral integrity and hygiene alike. Eugh. But I also have had to make sure there is a DNR in place just in case things go wrong during the operation, my will has also been finalized and notarized, all my savings and financial/material assets have been squared away to come into my child's inheritance when he is of age and, most importantly, a document that states clear and direct instructions for him to be placed in care of my mother or, if she is unwilling or incapable, he will be under custodial order and guardianship of my best friend whom he has always viewed as a pseudo-dad anyway. Legally binding and even in light of the paternity petition this document supersedes parental right by way of the provided evidence I have submitted to prove a lack of parental credibility. That's right, I spent days lowkey stalking and sleuthing about to capture what I needed to show this man for what he actually is and I have precisely zero guilt or shame for doing it; this is my child on the line and that means momma doesn't have to play by the rules of snitches getting stitches or whatever other scary street rules he tosses at me as idle threats. (He's done this routinely for all the years I have known him, and it is somehow both pathetic and hilarious because he knows for a fact that, if I wanted, I could throttle him in less time than it would take for him to form a rational thought between his drug soaked braincells - I was also a person of less than savory character not too long ago and can handle myself very well. But I digress because I am losing my track of thought.

After the surgery I will have so damn much PT and rehab, all of which will be specific to varying parts of my body that will need to be reworked and strengthened. Weeks, months of it really. This surgery is major and hits heavy enough that I will be in the hospital for at least 10-14 days just recovering from it without taking into consideration any number of complications that could pop up. Hell, if they get in there and find a situation worse than they currently have an understanding of in the limited capacity of cardiology tech can provide of such a gnarled beastly heart and realize they can't really do anything with it after all, I'll be added to the transplant list. I think this is more daunting to consider than the surgery, honestly.

In that way that doctors have about them, I was "comforted" by being informed that this was an inevitability and I would have been faced with this in a matter of years - less than a handful actually - but the way COVID-19 chewed through me sped it up. I'm sure my years of substance issues were also very helpful in this endeavor, but either way I still am unsure whether I feel better knowing this or not? Mostly I think I feel conflicted and hopeful tempered with the caution of life being super shady in the ways it has often brought me to the doorsteps of dying in situations that seem like odd chance. I also am gifted with being so capable in jinxing myself that I brought myself to COVID-19 ("The way life is going I'll probably square up with Rona next week or some bullshit." Positive test flagged within the following week) and also into labor ("Watch me go into labor on Labor Day since that would be the sort of universal pun that would strike my bad penny having ass." Indeed hatched my youngling on Labor Day of that year) by saying some things within the scope of my bad humor that instantly manifested as reality so I'm not taking any risks here lol.

The gist is that life is really stirring up the winds over here and so I haven't been online and posting anything that would make my blog valid in a fat minute. I do apologize for this and also for the fact that this post took me nearly a week to type up, but when things calm a little I will be back in full. For the time being I will be sporadic and do what I can when I can!

Thanks to anyone that read this mess all the way here! And a big thank you to all of you still supporting me!

#racks chats #entirely too long and too personal

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selfships-in-spanish · 4 years

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Idk random thought but I think it would be cute/hot if canon!verse connor and ona where at home watching a movie and it ended up with them getting handsy with one another. Like, they're snuggled up under blankets and roaming hands lead to some fun times (like some finger fucking/handjob etc.).

Anon I am DEEPLY SORRY for how long it took, but between the creative rut I was in, the months I worked and such... I just had no time and words didn’t want to come to me.

But I really hope you’re still around and that you enjoy this 6683 word smutty one-shot!

A bazillion thanks to @tinmiss1939 for helping me out with English and ideas when my brain decided to not cooperate <3

Warnings: smut! They get touchy 👀

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Saturday nights ended up being movie nights with Ona’s cozy blanket that her grandmother knit her as a Christmas present. She didn’t want her favourite grandchild being cold in the States, knowing Ona was used to her precious Mediterranean weather. Connor ended up snogging most of the blanket, even if it was big enough for two adults and had wool to spare.

Ona made sure Connor was familiarised with the classics, checking out the long list of movies she wanted Connor to see, and Ona would also make popcorn and prepare thririum-sodas for Connor so he could enjoy The Experience. Connor was grateful for her efforts and felt her enthusiasm transmit to him too. He kind of regretted watching Terminator 2 because she kept asking him to repeat some lines, but he secretly looked for leather jackets. T-800 was… cool.

Ona finished the popcorn, setting the bowl on the table next to their soda glasses. She was currently staring at the screen, quite invested in how Yoda trained Luke Skywalker on Dagobah. Connor ventured a look at her, eyes zeroing on her lips absently wrapping around her popcorn-salty fingers. He wondered how her tongue would feel on his own fingers, the texture, the heat. A notification appeared on his HUD, warning him about a slight rise in his core temperature. Connor ignored it.

Connor decided a distraction from those thoughts would be good, and he went to reach for his own thirium-soda, keeping his eyes on the TV screen. Ona reached to the paper napkins she put there previously, wiping the remaining of the salt and saliva out of her fingers. Once done, she threw the crumpled paper napkin inside the popcorn bowl and rearranged herself on the sofa to find a comfortable position, which ended being by her leaning slightly into Connor. The poor android suppressed embarrassing noises at the fact that Ona was slightly touching his arm with hers. He couldn’t wait to actually feel her in his arms, some day.

They kept their positions for a while, Connor not daring to move a single centimetre in case Ona realised her proximity and put some distance between them. But rA9, how he wanted to move to—

Ona leaned her head on his shoulder, sighing contentedly.

Connor wanted to scream.

His olfactory sensors could pick up traces from her fruity shampoo and the pressure and heat sensors from his shoulder could feel the warmth from her cheeks and the comfortable weight of her head. Some stray curls tickled his neck.

Connor wanted to scream. A lot.

He stayed perfectly still, his breathing program stuttering slightly. Did she know what this meant? To him? Did she know how he longed to feel her against him and to be able to freely touch her? Touch her soft, snow white curls? Connor ignored the movie completely (not that Ona will ever know, he could download it and watch it anytime, as well as film analysis and data in case she wanted to discuss the plot and story points), focusing his attention on this tiny human that managed to make her way into his pump, unknowing of the depth she managed.

He wanted to lean his head against hers too, he wanted to wrap his arm around her waist and tug her closer to him, he wanted to feel her entire weight on him, he wanted—

Ona nuzzled her head against Connor’s shoulder, shifting to make herself more comfortable. Connor was this close to make shutdown noises.

Connor tried to analyse this situation: Ona was not uncomfortable with his presence, she was in fact seeking contact, and she was quite prone to seek human touch. She was a hugger, she liked holding his hand whenever she dragged him somewhere or would poke Hank’s chest when she teased him, sometimes even managing to convince Hank into letting her tie his hair in a ponytail. So, it wasn’t new she liked to touch her friends and people she was comfortable with, but the fact that she was touching him… he would never get used to it, or at least anytime soon.

“Am I too heavy?”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts, slightly lifting her head to turn around just enough to face Connor. RA9, she was beautiful.

“You are not, detective. My pressure plates and carbon fibre chassis can endure heavy weights and— what?” Ona was smiling at him, fondly, and with an amused spark in her eyes. Connor could get lost in her olive-green gaze.

“You said detective,” Ona began, a teasing edge in her voice. “We are not in the precinct. Do I have to pull a Hank on you?” Hank was very loud about how he didn’t want to be called Lieutenant every single time his friend, because he wasn’t ready for son yet, talked to him. And Ona wasn’t shy to make herself heard either.

“That will not be necessary, Miss Boix.” Ona raised a brow. “Ona.”

“That’s better. I like the way you say my name.” Ona got on her previous position, leaning her head on his shoulder again. Connor was too stunned to reply, having her words in a loop. What the hell does he reply to that?

Connor kept staring at the screen without really seeing anything. Half of his HUD was occupied with error notifications and temperature increases, as well as his pump regulator accelerating. The other half was occupied with romantic manoeuvres and tips he could execute to take a further step in their relationship. He decided to try one of the most used and well reviewed tactics: the arm stretching behind the couch.

On the count of three, because he needed a mental kick from himself to move, Connor slowly nudged his shoulder, making Ona hum. She lifted her head, and Connor almost regretted moving because it meant she was no longer touching him, wasn’t letting her soft cheek press against his perfectly ironed shirt and— but it was for a good reason, he told himself. Connor lifted his arm, trying to ignore Ona’s questioning look, and made as if he stretched it as humans do after having a limb locked on a particular position for too long.

“You should have told me you were uncomfortable, bobo.” Ona mumbled, shifting into a new position.

“No!” Ona looked back at him, startled at his outburst. Connor mentally kicked himself. “No, uh. I’m okay. I, uh…” Ona frowned, Connor didn’t stutter. The android decided to finish executing his move. Carefully, he let his arm fall and curl on Ona’s shoulder, making her head rest on it. “I thought you would be more comfortable like this.”

He made it. Connor made it. He executed it perfectly, as expected from an android.

Ona smiled, an “awww” escaping her lips, being touched by Connor’s concern. She snuggled further, pulling the blanket up and making a cocoon with both of them inside. One of her hands rested on his chest.

Connor was a wreck.

For Connor, Ona felt as if she fit right there, in his arms, as if he had been perfectly designed to fit her body. It was a silly thought, but it made Connor giddy. Ona was warm, she was a comfortable weight against his own body, and he quite liked the feeling of it. He could get used to it.

Both human and android resumed watching the sci-fi classic, Connor still processing what just happened. Deviancy was new, deviancy was scary, but with Ona, Hank and the Jericho crew next to him, it was a less frightening journey. Deep in his thoughts, Connor didn’t notice a slight tugging at his tie. Looking down, he saw Ona’s hand tugging at it with a displeased frown.

“Aren’t you suffocating with this?” Connor looked at the perfectly made windsor knot, apparently offending Ona’s standards of ‘comfy movie night’.

“I can’t suffocate–”

“Shush, you know what I mean!” Ona teased him, flicking the silky end. “It looks a little bit constricting for a pajama-ish movie night, don’t you think?” Connor considered her reasoning and she surely had more experience in such matters than him, anyways. Maybe he should listen for once. “C’mon, loosen up a bit! You can relax here.” Connor was the opposite of relaxed, having her so close and being so carefree with her touch. But, maybe he should really give it a shot.

“Well, I suppose I could... try.”

Ona grinned, not caring to hide how pleased she was that Connor both listened to her and tried to loosen up as she suggested. The twinkle in her eyes spurred Connor into action. He sat up, efficiently undoing the knot. The android folded the tie and left it on top of the table, Ona snorting at the mannerisms he couldn’t shake off. Feeling daring, Connor unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He looked back at her in time to see her roll her eyes and slightly shake her head.

“No no no! That’s not loosening up! We are not in the Victorian period and you are not a victorian lady showing an ankle, bobo!” Ona sat up and inched closer to Connor, not giving him time to react when she grabbed his shirt and unbuttoned a few more buttons, pleased at the hint of a collarbone. Connor’s pump rhythm skyrocketed. “There, much better!”

Connor could count every tiny freckle on her skin, being as close as she was, and he could also see the hint of gold in her beautiful olive green eyes. He wanted to say thank you, but got lost in her gaze.

Ona patted his chest, smiling once more before shifting into her previous position, but this time much closer with her head propped up fully on his shoulder and her hand resting on his clothed chest. Her weight was comfortable, he liked it, and unconsciously he let his arm fall once again and curl around her, pulling her slightly closer. Ona sighed contentedly, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder.

They settled for a comfortable silence, enjoying the movie. Connor liked when Ona giggled at some parts of it, made tiny commentaries and got excited when her favourite scenes came on. He also liked how her curls tickled his now more exposed skin, whenever she laughed or shifted, and the warm weight of her hand on his chest. Connor had to force his artificial breathing program to not stutter or become erratic; she could not suspect of her effect on him in case she moved away at the knowledge of it. Connor thought it was selfish of him, and felt guilty of it, but he really wanted to be a bit selfish sometimes, as both Ona and Hank suggested more than once.

His pressure sensors detected a soft caress on his clothed chest. Connor ventured a look and found Ona still looking attentively at the screen, as if her thumb wasn’t mindlessly brushing Connor’s chest. Connor concentrated on the feel of it, letting himself bask in the glory of her touch. He knew what this kind of gesture meant, Connor did an extensive research on affectionate touches and their meanings, so he really allowed himself to chase that fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe, Ona wanted more.

Ona shifted again, getting more comfortable on Connor’s shoulder, and her hand didn’t move from its spot or cease its movement. In fact, it slipped slightly forward, inching near the open shirt. Connor was very aware of the spare centimetres between his naked synthskin and Ona’s hand. She kept caressing his chest with her thumb and Connor didn’t dare to move. Until his sensors picked up the movement and slight pressure of her hand moving forward.

Connor was never prepared for the feel of her fingers on his chest, warm human skin against his synthskin. He wouldn’t know how to describe it, how wonderful and exhilarating it was, how eager it made him for more. Ona kept brushing her fingers against his chest, appearing completely oblivious of it. His hand unconsciously twitched on her shoulder, as if looking for an outlet to release everything he was bottling up in a false sense of calmness. Connor didn’t know how to proceed; all this was new, the whole world was brand new after deviating and Ona made him feel things he didn’t know the name yet.

But he liked those things.

Ona was a comfortable weight, and he absolutely loved the tingling feeling her fingers left when they lifted off his skin. It sent the android equivalent of “shivers” down his spine, to every connector, every nook of his body. He wanted more.

A snort escaped Ona’s lips. Connor registered that a funny line happened in the movie, but he completely ignored it in favor of saving in a special folder, that he will never say it is labeled as Ona or that he has it, every stroke of her hand, every curl tickling his skin and adding more input to his already overloaded connectors and sensors.

Ona’s hand ventured its way up, leaving tiny sparks of electrical fire on her trail. Her fingers brushed Connor’s collarbone, softly, as if Ona didn’t want to spook Connor with her boldness. Connor had to bite back a noise he didn’t know he was capable of doing, the sensation of her touch melting him right where he was. But it felt good, so good, to be touched like this. Connor unconsciously bit his lip.

Connor didn’t see the glint in Ona’s eyes. In another situation, like catching a perp, Connor would know that glint meant Ona was determined and even dangerous; once she put her attention on something, she would chase it off like a lioness. Right now, Connor was her prey.

Ona shifted once again, her fingers leaving a trail up his neck. Her fingernails lightly scraped Connor’s synthskin, as if on accident, and he couldn’t help the little gasp that escaped his lips. He was too focused on the pleasant feeling of her touch to notice her leaning into him. Connor would never, ever, be ready for the exhilarating feel of her soft lips kissing his neck so tenderly. His hand squeezed Ona’s shoulder, wanting to melt right there as she kept peppering Connor’s synthskin with tiny butterfly kisses. He was so scared to move, to do something wrong and probably tear Ona from this haze. When her lips brushed his jawline Connor let out a breathy pant.

Connor’s HUD was suddenly invaded by warnings and alerts, programs initiating that he was not aware he had them installed. His temperature was rising and pop-ups kept coming. It was more than obvious that Ona had other plans in mind than watch a movie. Is this what humans really meant with the “Netflix and chill” saying, used a long time ago? But more importantly, Ona wanted to do… intimate things, with him? She didn’t mind he was not human? Given the enthusiasm, no, she didn’t mind at all.

Ona tugged slightly aside the collar of Connor’s shirt, giving her more room and more of Connor’s synthskin to kiss. She couldn’t resist temptation and lightly nibbled where his neck met his shoulder.

“Ah!” Connor arched his back, closing his eyes at the onslaught of sensations running through his very wires. Ona unglued herself from his body, making Connor want to whine at the lack of her warmth and weight against his body.

“Shit, sorry.” Ona’s voice seemed panicked for a moment. “Fuck. Joder. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

Connor opened his eyes and tried to focus on her lovely, very flushed face. Her pupils were blown out, almost eating her beautiful green irises, and her lips were redder than usual, something Connor would never get tired from looking at.

“I went too far, didn’t I?” Ona covered her face in shame with her hands, groaning.

He wanted to say so much, but even if he had 300 languages at his disposal, Connor was unable to find the words he needed to express himself with.

“I…” could he convey what he felt through his eyes? Would Ona catch the need in them?

“Do you... do you want to go or...?” Guess not. Ona sat back, twisting one of her curls on her finger, something Connor noticed she did when she was nervous. Connor closed his eyes, frustrated.

This was the chance he wanted after all this time of pining after the tiny human detective that made his pump skip its perfect rhythm.

It was now or never. Connor turned to face her, nervous. He lifted his hands and felt his fingers twitch, as if they exactly knew the meaning behind his intentions. Connor made Ona turn her head to face him, holding her in place. For once, Connor stopped thinking and decided to let his heart act.

Connor crashed his lips against hers.

Ona let out a surprised noise, but was happy she didn’t scare Connor off, and let him do as he wanted. His lips were soft, and somehow Ona expected them to be a bit more stiff and cold, but they felt like they belonged there, with hers, warm and pliant. She let Connor take his time, have his sweet first kiss at his pace and liking, chaste and innocent, but even if she wanted to be there like this for the rest of her life, she needed to breathe.

Breathing through her nose made Connor remember that humans needed oxygen, and that he was depriving his precious detective of it. Embarrassed, Connor parted from her lips with a million sorry’s ready to spill from his own, chastiting himself for not thinking about it. See? This is what happens when he doesn’t think, and now Ona–

Connor found his thoughts halted once again when Ona kissed him back, crawling on his lap to have a better angle. She let her weight rest on him, liking how well her body fit with his. Connor let his hands rest on her waist, not knowing where to put them exactly. Since his mind was occupied right now, he let them wander as they liked. Ona didn’t mind one bit.

Wanting more, Ona lightly bit Connor’s bottom lip to make him gasp at the feeling and open his mouth. She took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, letting her tongue touch Connor’s as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him flush with her body. Ona was careful, slow, letting Connor get used to it, verging on sweet. Connor didn’t know if it was in some code ingrained deep in him, or the salty taste of her tongue due to the popcorn she ate before, but it felt divine.

Thinking about the extensive research Connor did, preparing himself for the day this exact moment happened, he decided to put in motion one of the things he saw and read about. One of his hands went to cup the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her white curls. The other one wrapped itself around her, securing the manoeuvre. He read about the intimacy of kisses, of bodies touching, tongues dancing with each other and the sweet noises that fueled the passion. He also watched videos trying to educate himself on the matter and thinking about him and the detective in such situations, going as far as having reconstructions in his mind that rendered him a blushing mess and his LED a permanent red. He wanted it. He wanted it so much. Nothing he watched compared to the reality of this moment.

Adding a little bit of pressure, Connor made Ona turn her head more to the side so he could properly deepen the kiss. Ona’s muffled moan made his core temperature rise, and he inhaled fresh air to try to cool his body. His other hand descended from her back, brushing the hem of her sweatpants, and let it rest on her buttock. Connor unconsciously squeezed it, making Ona arch into him and gasp in between sloppy kisses. Ona made a mess of Connor’s neatly styled hair, and honestly he couldn’t give a damn about it.

Connor felt a change in Ona’s movements, and he frowned, not pleased at having to stop.

“Wait— Conn— Hmpf!“ Ona abruptly tried to stop the kiss, untangling herself from him and trying to mumble words in between kisses. Connor chased her lips until he felt her fingers stop him.

Connor felt like ice-cold water fell on him, freezing the poor android on the spot. Did he misread the situation? Did Ona not want this anymore? Did he go too far? Did he—?

“Wait. Connor,” Ona took a deep breath to gather her wits. This had been amazing and she needed more, but she needed to ask him something first. “Wait— no, don’t give me that look, let me explain. I… You did nothing wrong, if that’s what you are asking yourself, quite the contrary. I loved this, I longed for this, but I want to know if you want it too.”

“If I want it too? Kissing you back hasn’t proved it enough to—” Connor didn’t understand. He liked her, he kissed her, maybe he didn’t do it enough to prove his point?

“I don’t want to force anything on you, Connor! I want you to want this as much as I do, but I don’t want to force you or coerce you into wanting this. I don’t want to screw it up. I really, really like you. And I really want to know if you want this—“

Connor reached for her hands, squeezing them in his.

“You really don’t know how many times I dreamed of this, of you. I always wondered how your lips would feel, or your touch.” Connor felt daring and bold. This was his chance. “I want you, Ona. I want this. And if we don’t go back to this wonderful human thing called kissing, I’ll—“

Ona let out a relieved laugh. Connor tugged her back to him, urged Ona to sit on his lap as she was doing before. Connor held her face in his hands, touching his forehead with hers.

“This whole... deviant thing is new and scary. Feelings are scary, but… I want to explore them with you. Good and bad.” Connor’s voice was low and soft, as if he didn’t want to break their little bubble.

“Then… let’s take it slow.”

Ona pressed her lips against Connor’s again, softly, letting the sweetness of the moment dictate the pace they wanted to follow. The movie kept playing in the background, completely forgotten.

Connor let his hands descend Ona’s body, as if he was mapping once again her figure, trying to save it in his memory forever. It always mesmerised Connor how soft and squishy humans could be, and he let himself squeeze his hands against her flesh once again, relishing the thrilling sensation of having his hands so full.

That elicited a low moan from Ona, who in return slowly rocked her hips against Connor’s. The android let out a groan himself, getting a hold of her hips and pushing her down against him again. It felt so good, the pressure sending sparks all over his body, and he couldn't wait to learn more about this wonderful human thing called makeouts. Connor wasn’t stupid, he did his research and he knew humans and sex had a tight relationship, although it wouldn’t be good to generalise since what made humans so unique and beautiful, was the diversity in their race. But still, he wanted to explore it with Ona if she wanted to, and right now he couldn’t be thanking RA9 more than he was right now for letting this happen.

Ona felt like taking things up a notch, and she loved the reaction she got out of Connor the first time –despite her momentum of panic–, so she broke the kiss to brush her lips against his jaw, nuzzling her nose against his neck. Ona felt Connor’s artificial breath stutter in its impeccable rhythm, and was delighted to see how Connor bared his neck to her. Ona wasted no time, peppering the exposed synthskin with slow and wet kisses, while she kept grinding her hips against him. Feeling his excitement only fueled her own more.

Her hands busied themselves with the remaining buttons of Connor’s shirt, impatient to have his chest and torso fully exposed for her to see and touch. Having the always impeccably dressed android under her, all sense of decorum and propriety gone, gave Ona a rush nothing else could give her. Ona bit her lip once her work was done and could gaze at her prize. He was delightful, beautiful, truly a work of art. Connor’s flushed cheeks and red, shiny lips made her feel herself clench, desperate to have something fill her.

Connor’s irises were engulfed by his pupils, lust coating them, and Ona marveled at how expressive his eyes were. Connor had always been a quick learner, though, and he could see how much Ona needed to be touched right now. His hands reached the hem of her sweatpants again, and this time he didn’t pass the opportunity to get his hands inside them, feeling the soft fabric of her underwear slid under his fingertips. It was Ona’s turn to close her eyes and let out a shaky exhale, eager to see what Connor would do this time. A soft gasp escaped her lips when Connor got his hands inside her underwear too, feeling his fingers on her burning skin. He squeezed the flesh of her buttocks in his hands, feeling the fullness of it. Ona groaned, arching her back to give Connor more leverage. The android sat up while Ona was distracted, pulling her close to his body. Connor decided he wanted to do the same things Ona did to him, to make her feel as good as he did, and now that he had her neck in full display, he was going to take advantage of that.

Kissing her feverish skin was delicious, but Connor knew he was only adding more wood to the fire the moment he bit the juncture of her neck and shoulder, replicating her actions from before. The reaction was instantaneous: Ona’s moan echoed around her living room, her nails digging in Connor’s shoulders as she felt shivers run up and down her body. His tongue soothed the mark he left, kissing it as an apology, although the thought of her having a mark made by him excited Connor more than he expected. And by the looks of it, Ona didn’t mind much. Connor left a trail of kisses up her neck, reaching her jaw, and left another mark right under it.

“Ah!” Connor scored another win for himself, pleased at how the proud and self-assured detective was becoming putty in his hands. “You do not play fair, Connor. You already know one of my weak spots.” Her teasing tone made him smile, hiding it behind a kiss on her shoulder.

“I am the most advanced android detective, after all.” that made Ona laugh, leaning back to see the mirth in Connor’s eyes. His sense of humour improved greatly.

“Aren’t you a cocky android, hm?” Connor winked in response, which made Ona snort. She knew exactly how to wipe off that self-satisfied expression from Connor’s face.

Connor knew that arched brow and mischievous smile meant trouble, but he was quite eager to find out what Ona was planning to do. She pushed him back on the sofa, his hands sliding out from under her clothes to end up getting a hold of her hips. Connor decided she looked absolutely stunning in her loose maroon t-shirt and slightly pushed down grey sweatpants. Her underwear was peeking out too, and the little visible piece of fabric made him swallow hard.

“Let’s see how cocky are you now, Mr.Detective.”

Ona’s hands descended from Connor’s shoulders to his chest, savoring the feeling of her fingertips grazing the perfectly designed muscles. Ona slowed down when she was close to his belt, teasing the belt loops, tugging them slightly. Connor’s breath hitched when her fingers skimmed over the belt buckle. His eyes were glued to her hands, watching as she undid the buckle and teased the button of his trousers. Connor let out a stuttered breath as Ona’s palm pressed against his zipper, pulled taut by his erection.

Deciding she wanted to tease him a little bit more, Ona slipped her fingers inside Connor’s trousers, over his underwear, as he did to her before. Connor arched his back off the sofa, groaning at the feeling of Ona’s fingers grasping his clothed cock. Connor’s hands squeezed Ona’s hips, needing something to hold onto as he was blown away by the feeling of her fingers on him.

It felt amazing.

Ona took her hand out much to Connor’s dismay, a soft and breathy “no no no–” escaping his lips, followed by an “–oh” when he saw that Ona was undoing the button of his trousers and pulling the zipper down.

“Up.” Connor got the message. He lifted his hips so Ona could push down his clothes just enough to free his aching erection from them.

Ona let out a soft moan at the sight of Connor’s cock in full display, rock hard against his belly. She felt herself clench, as if trying not to make more of a mess on her underwear as she was doing now. Ona wanted to do a lot of things right now. She wanted to push her own sweatpants and underwear down and ride him until he burned his vocal module from moaning, she wanted to get on her knees and pleasure him, feel his hands on her head as he guided her to how he liked it best, she wanted to–

They will have time to do all of that. For now, Ona wanted tonight to be for him, to discover what he liked, what it felt like. Ona looked up and was met with hungry and desperate eyes. Connor was on the verge of begging Ona to do anything, because judging by what he felt before, this was going to be even better.

Slowly, Ona trailed her finger from base to tip, pleased at the amount of wetness gathered at the head. Connor stuttered, not tearing his gaze from Ona’s own lustful ones until she did to look down again. He did the same, and the image he found would be forever stored in his memory bank, locked up in a special folder. She was smaller than him, he often marvelled at the difference between them and how her hands were shorter than his, for example, and in this exact moment he couldn’t be more delighted to see how said hand wrapped itself around his cock. He was not ready for when she moved.

Connor cried out, throwing his head back on the sofa’s headrest. His sensors were going absolutely crazy. He felt as if fire was spreading all over his connections and he wanted more, so much more. Ona’s hand was covered in a sheer blue slick, the fluid helping her motions. The sound of it was downright sinful, and it only turned both human and android more.

Connor’s thirium pump was pounding in his chest, moaning and groaning, his interior fans fighting to keep the body temperature in check. It was getting harder as Ona started squeezing her hand when she reached the head of his cock, way more sensitive than the rest, and Connor’s hips involuntarily thrusted upwards when her other hand renewed her journey on his chest, making sure she traced his collarbone and neck.

One well placed tug made Connor keen, feeling light-headed, and unconsciously pulled Ona to his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Her hand was trapped between them, but she never ceased her movements. Ona’s curls brushed Connor’s cheek, some strands being plastered over her forehead, and Connor could feel her rapid breaths tickling his ear.

Connor, in a moment of clarity and feeling a tad bold, had an idea. He still doesn’t know how he managed to tear one of his hands apart from Ona’s body, but he had to make Ona feel as good as him. He was no stranger to human anatomy, and even less human genitalia, so he knew what he had to do in Ona’s case. He sneaked a hand inside the front of her sweatpants and underwear, feeling her smooth skin until he found her mound. Connor didn’t stop there, he kept going until his fingers brushed her soaked wet clit. Her hitched breath was music for his audio modules.

“Connor–!” Ona jolted, arching her back and gasping, melting his name into a moan.

Connor decided, right in that moment, that his name never sounded so divine before. The sensors on his fingers picked up the generous amounts of wetness gathered in them, and Connor had the urge to taste it. But that was something for later, now he had more important matters in his hands.

Recalling all the information he previously searched, Connor let his fingers be completely soaked in Ona’s juices, knowing it would make the glide smoother. Her folds were soft to his touch, velvety, and Connor loved the feel of it. Her heavy breaths and moans on his ear spurred him to keep going, to trace every inch of her sex, to tease her entrance with his finger pads. Connor’s other hand released his hold on Ona’s hip, moving it up to brush her nape and bury itself on her hair. Ona reacted to his touch, raising her head from Connor’s shoulder to took at him. Her lips were shining bright, reddened from worrying them with her teeth, and Connor felt the urge to kiss them again.

So he did, swallowing Ona’s moan as Connor got his middle and ring finger inside her, feeling her walls pulse around him, burning. Ona had to stop pumping her hand, needing a moment to gather her wits as Connor moved his fingers in and out of her, his thumb finding Ona’s clit and rubbing it slowly, almost lazily, which drove Ona mad with pleasure. When Ona renewed her movements, gripping Connor’s cock harder, the android groaned and bit Ona’s bottom lip, getting his tongue inside as she did earlier. Connor felt a gush of slick tickle down his hand, and it only excited him more to know it was because of him.

Having his sensors overloaded continuously from the new and pleasurable sensations, Connor had a feeling this would crest soon. He was tempted to cut out the process of it so it would last longer, all night if possible, but he desperately needed to find his release. He felt like a spring fiercely recoiled, ready to snap at any given moment, and Ona’s tiny moans and gasps of his name as she rocked herself on his fingers only catapulted him into it. He had a feeling Ona was close too.

But oh, that felt so good. He doesn’t exactly know what Ona did, but it felt amazing, so Connor let himself be drowned in it, thrusting his hips up at the same time as Ona to pulled down her hand. He was close, so close, so–

“Ona, I’m– I think I’ll– Ah!”

Connor came all over Ona’s hand and his belly with a jerk of his hips, throwing his head back into the sofa as he let the shockwaves consume him whole. In the process, Connor unconsciously pulled on Ona’s hair, needing to grip onto something, and with a brush of his thumb on her clit Ona came right after him, blessing Connor with a mixture of spanish curse words and moans. Connor felt the tight grip on his fingers, her juices coating him even more, and the thought and feel alone made another glob of synthetic cum dribble over her.

Ona let her forehead rest on Connor’s one, panting and trying to regain her breath again. Connor mimicked her, trying to cool his body and helping his frenzied interior fans. When Ona opened her eyes, he found Connor gazing at her with such emotion behind his eyes that made Ona’s heart skip a beat. Connor’s hand was still on Ona’s back of the head, so in a moment where he just let himself follow his heart, Connor pulled Ona in for a sweet, slow kiss. When they parted, it was Ona’s time to gaze at Connor, wondering how beautiful he was right in that instant with his hair disheveled and a blush on his cheeks.

The ending fanfare of the movie credits made her trance break, noticing Connor’s sticky release in her hand beginning to cool. Ona released her hold on Connor’s cock, raising her hand to her face so she could inspect it closer. Connor sheepishly did the same, trying to ignore the squelching sound of his fingers getting out of her and how his own cock twitched in response. Connor knew he could stop the refractory period too, ready to go for another round until he ran out of thirium and had to enter into stasis, but he had a feeling Ona wouldn’t appreciate that. Instead, he inspected Ona’s own cum on his fingers, the fluid sticking to his fingers too.

Connor swore he didn’t mean to, it was a completely unconscious decision, but he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting her. A soft giggle made him look up, his cheeks burning out of shame.

“That is so… you.” Ona’s warm smile made Connor know she was not teasing him or angry. It was genuine. She made a conscious effort to inspect her own fingers, coated with the blueish fluid on them. Connor made a move to stop her, feeling suddenly embarrassed of it, but he wasn’t quick enough to stop her. Ona’s tongue peeked from her mouth, licking one finger. She hummed, followed by a snort when Connor’s voice module did an undignified noise at the sight of it. “I thought it would taste… plastic-ish. It’s actually not bad.”

“...Synthetic ejaculate can have different flavours, if desired.” Connor will never know what triggered that piece of information to appear on his HUD, and what made him say it, but Ona’s open-hearted laugh was worth it.

“Put a sweet, chocolate-ish flavour in, and you will have me all day on my knees and you know it.” Ona turned around just enough to grab tissues from the coffee table, wiping her hand clean, as if she had just commented on the weather.

Connor was suddenly assaulted by reconstructions of what Ona just said, rendering him to a violently spinning red LED and his blush program glitching, making his cheeks reach a bluish glow. Ona hastily threw aside the used tissue, not caring where it went, when he noticed Connor’s state.

“Oh my God! Connor, are you okay?” Ona held Connor’s face in her hands, desperately searching for an answer in his eyes. Connor looked at her, his LED reverting back into yellow.

“There’s vanilla flavour, strawberry flavour, milk chocolate with caramel flavour–” Ona snorted, bumping her forehead with his.

“You oaf, I was worried!” Connor raised his brow as if questioning her. If he was being cocky again it meant he was okay and back to normal. Ona guilty looked to the side.“...milk chocolate with caramel.”

Connor smiled. Ona shook her head, smiling too, as she turned around again to pick up more tissues for Connor.

“Let’s clean you up.” Connor kept smiling, feeling dazed with happiness, as he let Ona do as she pleased. Once clean, Connor pushed and fastened his trousers and belt, as Ona mourningly buttoned his shirt.

Ona stood up once finished, her face twisting into a grimace as she felt the cold and sticky mess in her panties. She looked down, trying not to worsen it by moving too much.

“...And I need new underwear.”

Connor stood up with her, eagerness coating his movements and voice.

“Let me help you with that.”

#dbh #detroit become human #rk800 #rk800 x oc #canonverse #mius writes #smut #ask #anon

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