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yuukei-yikes · 11 months

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ive been thinking abt ayaki and shintaro post str lately. like i know realistically ayaki would dissapear since in theory the wish she was created from was fulfilled but i just think her staying creates an interesting idea on shintaro's problem with isolation and tendency to retreat into his own head. bc ayaki literally lives in his head. like ayaki and shintaro are the only two people in the whole world who will ever understand the things theyve seen at a truly deep level. so who else could shintaro go to when he gets flashbacks of previous routes. also the guilt he would probably feel for feeling more attached to the ayano in his head then the one actually there. a literal reflection of his actual feelings towards ayano i think. i kind of lost my train of thought uhm shrugs. i should probably write a google doc abt this

UGH UGH UGH.... THE BIT ABT SHINTARO FEELING MORE ATTACHED TO THE AYANO IN HIS HEAD INSTEAD OF THE ONE ACTUALLY HERE BEING THE SAME AS HOW HE LOVES THE AYANO HE MADE UP IN HIS MIND MORE THAN THE REAL ONE.... THATS SO FUCKING COOL AND REAL AND AWESOME..... YESSSSS shinyaki gets me so badly like. ough. they have been together for so long. i imagine yaki trying so hard to fight her humanity and even be cold to shintaro like!! ACT LIKE THE SNAKE EYE POWER SHE IS. and she does for the most part but Shintaro.... he is so difficult. he keeps being reborn and she keeps watching him grow up til activating her and remembering her again, and every single time shintaro's like Im so sorry for forgetting you again. and ayaki's like. AUGH. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. sorry they drive me a little crazy.

yeah i know ayaki would disappear but i dont like thatttt i think❤️❤️❤️ she should stay❤️❤️❤️ i think its a miserable existence and rly speaks abt ayano's character that she just stays there forever. i think there's something very cool abt an ayano tateyama who gets a happy ending in a mortal life at the cost of an suffering ayano who is alone for eternity, who sacrificed everything to be exactly where she is, watching another version of herself be happy. i dont think ayaki jumped into it knowing she'd find peace one day. i think once she is a snake she Is A Snake. Ur ass isnt dying. like she has a damn soul??

sorry the bit abt souls in kagepro drives me crazy. we dont know it with any other snakes other than awakening/konoha and haruka(and saeru but we dont talk abt it). the ending of mca is MESSY messy. personally i dont know if i Really understand it, I've always explained it to myself like konoha/awakening GETS ITS OWN wish bc despite being just a snake, it became its own person, and its wish is to have hiyori live which is how saeru "dies" bc it has to resign to be a surrogate life for hiyori right?? its never explained Why konoha gets a wish but that's it to me. awakening and retaining being opposites bc one is a snake that became a person and the other a person who became a snake.

anyways coming back to the soul thing, it's rly all in haruka and konoha's situation bc konoha becomes its own person, "gains a soul" lets say, and that very soul puts it in conditions of making a wish. haruka was the only one in the daze who wasn't PHYSICALLY there, and his wish never finished getting there bc awakening was like My body now. <- like this is so interesting there's a lot of potential to konoha being even more interesting, maybe being a snake that's always wanted its own body or something. i KNOW its bc haruka's personality wasn't strong for it but that's an ass explanation and it always has been😘

anywyas so haruka coming back by the end to me is explained thru his wish being Actually listened to and konoha retreating back to its original role though it is still a person. i think it becomes a case of reverse, from str onwards it is konoha watching through haruka instead of the other way around. this is kinda the logic behind why ive always loved the konoha reborn hc... with the whole soul thing. like konoha finally cutting ties with being a snake and not being awakening anymore, just konoha!!

god i got super sidetracked. basically ayaki is also a snake with a soul. yes she would disappear by all this logic, once shintaro's wish (and her own) is fulfilled. HOWEVER. i dont want to❤️ however if she DID. there is a HUGE prompt in here about shintaro dealing with the disappearance of ayaki. she has been with him for so long and he remembers it all bc just cuz retaining is away it doesnt mean he just unsees all the routes, yknow? just cant see them again but theyre still in his memory. so he remembers how he's been with her for so many lives and now she's just gone... and there's this other real ayano here. who isn't really another ayano she is the same person. he knows she is but she's still another. augh. augh augh augh. anyways no i dont like to think abt ayaki disappearing She needs to give the mekakushi dan a tour when they all jump in shintaro's brain to look at his memories western cartoon style

#ask tag #headcanons #kagexplain #? idk.#shintaro kisaragi #ayano tateyama #konoha

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soldier-poet-king · 1 year

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Hey, do you by any chance have thoughts or feelings about Palamedes Sextus and/or Camilla Hect?

BOY DO I EVER [blanket warning for ntn spoilers]

where do i even START

fictional librarians/archivists/secretaries any sort of information professional are my FAVE thing, the brain is like 'oh shit that's me!' my undervalued work that im so passionate abt!!! so ofc sixth house was immediately my fave even before we knew anything about them

and then we met them properly and im just??? these serious dedicated nerds but who are also so witty and fun and just?? i love them yr honour???

the CODEPENDENCY OF IT ALL. is it perhaps...unhealthy... maybe.... but the absolute inseperable-ness of 'cam-and-pal'

on that note. like their relationship is very much a both/and. bear with me as i go on a tangent here for a sec. christianity is a both/and religion. jesus is both man and divine. god is both male and female [and neither], humans are both body and soul. etc etc etc. im obsessed with this. the cav-necro relationship is a both/and. the 'one flesh one end' is clearly a play on christian wedding tradition and 'the two become one flesh' etc etc etc whether or not the cav-necro dynamic is romantic or not. but cam and pal dont just leave it there. they love each other so much. they are SO interconnected that they surpass the joining of the flesh and join souls. they do what is deemed impossible and merge fully into paul. they are inseperable in every single way now and for forever.

like i was melancholic and weird and Romantic even as a kid and one of those things abt christianity that always bothered me was the 'til death do us part' thing. like. well. what if i dont WANT death to part us? the whole gospel bit about a widow marring her BIL, then who's wife is she in heaven and jesus is like oh we'll be like angels and there'll be no taking of spouses. like OBVS that is lowkey vague and no one really knows what that'll mean after death, and it doesn't preclude reunion with loved ones after death. but my dumb sensitive ass is out here like. nah. nah. i am COMMITTED, i am ride AND die bitches. mutual commitment for eternity or dont bother. so, personally, selfishly, paul being the impossible merging of souls just. does Smthn To Me*

THAT BEING SAID. paul is also a tragedy masked as a triumph and a triumph masked as a tragedy. the two become one but also, the two become one and one is the loneliest. when they were an imperfect lyctor body sharing in the first part of ntn it was sad because they could never talk to each other again, never see each other smile, things would never be the same. and that's somewhat very briefly alleviated when pal is puppeting naberius, but that was never a tenable long term solution. and so paul is born. and is a triumph because they've done what is necromantically impossible and theyve both survived and are able to go on. but it's a tragedy because theyve both also died. there is no more cam-and-pal, pal-and-cam. they're together forever as paul, but they're also, in a way, separate forever. they'll still never see each others smiles, or share a joke, or what have you. im never ever going to be over this and i think abt them Every Day and it Hurts

speaking of paul. t muir is specifically out here killing me bc one of paul's most famous verses, esp in the context of relationships, is 1 corinthians 13 and everyone always quotes the whole 'love is patient love is kind' at weddings (COMPLETELY out of context bc it's not abt romance, but i digress). but the BEST PART of that chapter is hands down "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known". which like. personally. my fave verse. it's also EXTREMELY cam and pal. and it's also EXTREMELY sixth house in general

speaking of sixth house in general, truth over solace in lies is my FAVOURITE house motto. for many reasons, some of which are related to the above, but also because for years and years now my whole thing, my reason for existing, and surviving and keeping going has been 'the shire is saved but not for me'. it's the idea of duty and obligation over all else. its the fact that i must wake up every day and choose Goodness even if it never chooses me back. it's that i have to devote my life to serving this ideal of The Good, no matter the personal cost, and regardless of whether i have any hope of redemption for myself, any hope of reward at the end. i must choose The Good even if i get absolutely nothing in return. it is worth it for it's own sake. even when it is difficult, and solace in the lies of comfort would be so much easier. it's about BurdensTM chosen with eyes wide open and devotion to causes that maybe are doomed from the start but you choose them anyway. it's about abstract ideals over personal comfort and feelings, no matter how strong those feelings may be. i can't say more on this. it means too much. but it's a string than runs through everything that is important to me

OK IM GONNA STOP IM SO SO SORRY HERE'S SOME SIXTH HOUSE RAMBLES BC I LOVE THEM

*yes ye caveats abt theology and how im so single so what do i know about how marriage really works and also this is the lesbian space necromancer book and not a source of divine inspiration but also. im right

#UHHHH #long post #IM SO SORRY #ntn spoilers #camilla hect #palamedes sextus #tlt paul

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atherix · 1 year

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Dear Midnight readers,

We are gathered hear today to mourn the loss of Atherix after she was brutally murdered by both gnawing and shaking at the hands of Stitch.

Atherix was a lovely writer in their time, produce for us two quality chapters in a matter of hours and she will be missed.

The burial service will be on thee plot B at Fuck You Cemetery at Midnight Tonight.

I AM GOING TO SHAKE YOU SO MUCH. YOU ARE LIKE A SNOW GLOBE AND I AM AN OVERENTHUASTIC CHILD IM. I DON'T HAVE COHERENT THOUGHTS BC I READ THE FIRST CHAPTER WHILE INCOHERENT AND THE SECOND CHAPTER RIGHT AS I WOKE UP THIS MORNING. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, FIRST OF ALL???????

GOD the glyph disappearing. The faCT THAT I KNOW WHY YOU FUCKING BROUGHT IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM TORMENTED WITH KNOWLEDGE.

The comb, the memory sharing, the vulnerability as Scar puts it I am in LOVE

ALSO THEY SAID THE TITLE. I don't care that midnight is super common in the story it makes me happy anyway.

And Grian not getting the whole shadows are light but not thing is so funny. oh my god.

'the magic the gods hold' SHAKES YOU. SHAKING YOU. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE.

OH AND THEN THE DREAM AT THE END THERE??? EXCUSE ME!!! I mean. I knew it would come back up. But the fact that its there is making me INSANE

and then the fucking. the ALLEY. 'Its been a few years' HOW MANY IS A FEW, GRIAN. I NEED TO KNOW, GRIAN. ARE YOU FUCKING SURE SIR???????? Listen. Listen. I didn't even think that maybe grian was in stasis or some shit til everyone else was like 'is grian actually like centuries old and doesnt know' BECAUSE NOW. I AM THINKING ABOUT IT. I AM CONNECTING DOTS. I AM FUCKING GNAWING ON SHIT. THE FACT THAT HE SPEAKS ANCIENT. THE FACT THAT SCAR'S TOME HAS ADDED LINES THAT WERENT IN HIS BOOK. THE STATE OF THE ALLEY. The crack was narrows but now theres a giant hole in the ceiling. Other creatures have taken up residency in the alley. Grian's constant 'hes a little confused but hes got the spirit' vibes about everything. MY GEARS ARE FUCKING SPINNING.

God the fact that Grian just goes in. That grian keeps gettingb pulled out of his own head by his mates. The fact that Mumbo pulls Scar and tubbo down because its definitely not safe for them to just stay outside the mountain oh my god but then. Then.

Why DO the Watchers want the Tome hidden in a city full of Observants is my fucking question that I still haven't cracked. This is like one of those geodes full of water - thunderegg? I think they're called??? But I have theories okay. If the watchers are supposedly all seeing but the Palace had them wandering around AND they were walking around in a physical enough form for Grian to kill THREE of them right. Right. And theres the whole - the watchers Grian remembers werent following the stuff inside the tome right. WHAT IF. WHAT THE FUCK IF. [I feel like im talking to like. a twitch chat bc I know you arent gonna say shit about it] BUT OKAY THESE WATCHERS ARE LIKE. DEVIANT. THEYVE STRAYED. AND THEYVE MADE A BREAK OFF WITH THE ALLEY. AND THEY MAKE PEOPLE HIDE THEIR TOMES TO HIDE THEM FROM THE EYES OF THE OTHER WATCHERS, WHO SEE THAT THE ONES WHOVE TAKEN FORM ARENT FOLLOWING THE RULES. IDK. LISTEN. I READ THIS HALF DELIRIOUSLY.

Why do I recognize the Magical Menagerie. And WHY does Grian take his Tome if he already has Scars unless theirs some like godling part of his brain thats just like, dragon hoarding all the tomes. What is going on. What the fuck.

I dont fucking know if I believe that grian's only been gone for five years at this point. Relatively recent abandonment my ass, Scar. Tubbo and Mumbo have already called it, I'm believing your anons, Grian is OLD. WHERE ARE THE REMAINS. 5 YEARS IS NOT LONG ENOUGH FOR BODIES TO DECAY COMPLETELY AWATY. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS PLACE IS OLD AS BALLS.

And the way Grian just FLIES off when he hears Tilly's bark and the fact that I fucking TRUSTED YOU!!!! THE PALACE LOOKED LIVED IN AND THEN YOU TORMENT ME WITH THEIR DEAD LOVED ONES?? YOU MAKE MUMBO WATCH AS ONE OF HIS MATES AND HIS COVEN CHILD HIT THE APPARITIONS OF HIS DEAD WIFE AND DAUGHTER????? EXCUSE ME HOW FUCKING DARE YOU????????

the watchers eat pets im calling it now. This is a completely baseless accusation. they eat the pets.

'They prey on your emotions and then consume everything you are' HEY UH. HEY THERE TUBBO. TUB TUB. HEY BESTIE. ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY YOUR PARENTS ARE ACTIVELY BEING CONSUMED??????

AND THEN THE FALLING. AND THE FACT THAT THEY ARE ALL SO FUCKED UP. I AM SHAKING YOU. YOU ARE A CHEW TOY TO ME RN.

Oh man, looks like I need to get fitted for the casket real fast hjkfgdhskg-

OKAY BUT THAT ENTIRE INTRO TO THIS MADE ME CACKLE LIKE A HYENA COME ON-

... Am I at least a pretty snowglobe- KHFSJKFHSJKFKSJ OKAY BUT I CACKLED MYSELF TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT JUST IMAGINING YOU WAKING UP AND LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE AND SEEING MY "YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" AND THE UPDATE NOTIF AND IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT <3

HEHEHEHE :) KNOWLEDGE YOU CAN NEVER SHARE WITH ANOTHER READER HEHEHEHE. Idk if it'll be catharsis when it comes up again but HFKSHFKJSK :)

He's trying to be better for them <3 Trying to be more open and honest and let them in more <3 And the memory sharing- it means so much more this time because last time he shared his memories with them they were asking questions, but this time he volunteered the info himself- invited them to see it, and I am so khfdshgkjdfshgkjfd I am so NORMAL about them <3

I LOVE A GOOD TITLE DROP <3 And hey. Midnight is very significant in the Midnight series :) Cough cough a midnight sun.... the Midnight Alley........ a midnight Eclipse.................. :)

Grian over here like "LIGHT IS LIGHT AND SHADOW IS SHADOW" lmaaoooo I love him, magic is a conundrum to him.

🙂 Hehe~

LOOK. LOOK IT WAS A PERFECT CHANCE. HOW COULD I RESIST :)

Hey. Hey Stitch. Looks like there are some surprises I haven't mentioned to you yet LMAO <3 I will neither confirm nor deny anything, and I shall explain nothing <3 I will say this, though.... for someone running away, Grian sure hasn't met anyone looking for him, has he. :)

Grian is just. So. Stubborn. If he didn't have Mumbo and Scar to reel him in this would have gone So Bad hjfdkjk but also the fact that he LETS them help him I am just so hjkfdskkfds

You are speaking to a chat, yes, because I can answer literally NONE of those :'D And these are questions I will not answer in private either <3 I need to leave SOME mysteries for you <3

You know, if the last page of the Tome is different, I wonder what else might be. Just. Just saying. :) As for why you recognize Magical Menagerie, it was mentioned in Midnight Melody, so <3

*cough*alsostalactiteswhereglassusedtobe*cough* Sorry sorry got something stuck in my throat, but :) It's an interesting idea isn't it, my dear Stitch and readers~

Haha the Palace IS lived in :) :) TRUST ME. IT'S OKAY TO TRUST ME HAHA <3 Okay but also Scar having that split moment of like "oh shit what do I do I know it's not his dead wife but it LOOKS like her" and just hjfdhsjkghdskj BUT I FUCKING DARE <3

HFSJUKHFKJS LMAO baseless accusation but you know what, they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

:) Hehehe

WHERE WILL THEY LAND I WONDER? HEY STITCH. STITCH DO YOU REMEMBER. I MENTIONED IT BEFORE. :) But. But hehehe <3

#Ask #Midnight Series #One of the fun parts about telling a friend some of your twists is that they have no clue the OTHERS are coming #so while they're waiting for That Twist you slam them with This One out of left field LMAO <3 #Long Post

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hanasnx · 2 years

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HEY DEAR, it's ya boy, just wondering if you've seen tales of the Jedi yet because I think you'd love anakin's episode, HE'S RUTHLESS. Like you're telling me there's not just a little bit of sadism in there (I mean of course there is, that's literally Darth Vader)? I won't spoil anything that isn't in the trailer/common knowledge, but there's this lovely juxtaposition between him having a ruthless teaching style but speaking in a very caring and loving manner that's just so gooooood. Animated Anakin rarely feels like Hayden's Anakin (I still subscribe to the belief that prequels Ani is Ani as he is in internally, and CW Ani is how Ahsoka, the 501st, and the general public perceive him), but its always good to see some darkness in him. Anyway, hope you're well 😎💝

-👑

HIIIII i just finished totj tbh i’ve been taking a little break from writing sw stuff bcos i finished tcw and it obliterated me. so tales of the jedi wasn’t something i was ready to face til now BUT I WATCHED IT SO I COULD ANSWER THIS

spoilers under the cut for totj up til episode 5 <3

i love the description u added, where tcw ani is how people perceive him vs film ani is more intrapersonal. i dont have any problem with tcw anakin other than the fact he was created bcos the creators gave into the male power fantasy expectation of anakin. (still sad as fuck about the fact hayden wanted to voice tcw anakin and was not chosen for the role…. like his character … it feels so disrespectful just cos he didnt have a deep enough voice but whatever. not my circus not my monkeys)

i love tcw anakin he’s got good moments, but film ani portrayal is my fave

i did love how hard he was on ahsoka in that episode of totj! i felt like it was very true to him, and how he realizes how much harder a war is compared to normal jedi training. and since this war thing is a new thing for the jedi rn, its worth upping the stakes in the training in order to be prepared for actual war. he probably had his fair share of realizations when he was actually in battle how ill prepared he really was for such an event and didnt want that for his padawan.

i really cared for all the tender moments they had. how he spoke to her and touched her (i feel like anakin has a hard time with physical affection in any capacity. hes not a hugger, and he probably acts like he doesnt like being touched but secretly wants you to touch him) so it only added to my adoration for him when we got to see him reach out to her to help her up with his hand or put his hand on her shoulder etc. i really love anakin and ahsoka’s relationship in tcw its like my favorite thing.

also yes hes a sadist and a masochist and i feel like its not just in sexual contexts he is. so hes very hard on other people and himself with sometimes impossible standards bcos he feels as though pain builds a tolerance within you. he wants ahsoka to be untouchable, and she honestly is. as we’ve seen in the ending of tcw, ahsoka did the impossible.

i cant remember where i read it, but someone had said that crediting anakin’s training as ahsoka’s reason for being able to stay alive in the last episodes of tcw during order 66 had erased the specialness of rex’ resolve to tell her to find fives etc. id like to add my take

i dont think that it takes away any specialness. i think it simply adds more to the story. ahsoka was able to stay alive because of rex and rex’s help that much is true, but anakins strict training regiment didnt harm her either. it only aided. i liked that facet of the story tbh.

i like how star wars explores the lack of omniscience in force users. yes they can sense your intention, but why would they be on guard against allies? they explored that in the katri episode when dooku and mace investigated her untimely death in totj.

it only makes sense that jedi in order 66 were susceptible to fatality because why would they be on their guard with the allies theyve served alongside for years?

im sorry im all over the place i had a lot to say. bottom line I LOVED SEEING ANAKIN IN EPISODE 5 hes my sweet bbg

#👑 anon #thanks for the msg!!#indy shoots the shit #please make self care a priority #totj spoilers #sw totj #tales of the jedi #star wars #sw #tcw #the clone wars #order 66 #anakin skywalker #anakin #donnie

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disabledcole · 2 years

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okay seeing as tumblr is looking to be the Friend Place™ again i really need to get past my many neuroses abt tumblr so I Will Post This If It Kills Me

this is gonna be a weird infodump about my brain problems just to try and trick my brain into being normal so like. feel free to ignore this lmao

i have been on tumblr for a literal decade now and this is my third main account (i think its like 7 years old now?) and i literally use it every day i just have Problems abt reblogging rip. like im Sure this started w a social anxiety thing, im constantly stressed about people Judging me for my blogs not being Perfect, like everything has to be perfectly tagged, post order Really matters like i cant have the same fandom twice in a row and there has to be a good variety of text to picture to art posts etc and its so STRESSFUL

i only managed to escape this on twitter by having a locked account and even then i stopped tweeting regularly for a few years

and then its like. i have a System of blogs and how i post and it goes- like post > sort through likes and put posts into different blogs drafts > unlike post (so i can keep track of what part of the process each post is on) > in drafts add appropriate tags to post > queue posts in appropriate order

and like! thats a whole deal! and THEN i had to go and fucking add a competionist element where i have all these sideblogs for various fandoms and i feel like i have to reblog All the posts for those fandosm (which is fucking stupid) but especially if i find a fanartist i like i have to reblog All of their art! but not all once in a row bc theyll judge me! so they sit in my likes/drafts until i build myself up to sorting it out for a while and manage to queue a whole load of posts at once in bursts til i get overwhelmed again

and a few months ago i had a meltdown bc i got so overwhelmed by my tumblr bullshit brain things and mum pointed out id gotten obsessive about doing everything Perfectly and it Wasnt Good for me (which seems like it should be obvious but hey) so i decided to take a break. but i still scroll tumblr everyday so ive still been doing the first step in my process which is to add the post to my likes so theyve been building up and up and i havent reblogged anything in months and [starts crying]

so yeah my autism has really fucked me over here. ive really shot myself in the foot. bc all of this is so fucking stupid and i know it and arghgh!!

#Brain Be Normal When #like ive got almost 8k likes and almost over 2k drafts for my main blog alone #have 2k drafts each for my asoiaf blog and my dragon age blog and a SEPERATE blog for dragon age ocs #my harry potter sideblog also has 2k drafts before i soft-abandoned it #and All Of This Is Tasks #anyway. baby steps

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wellnesscard · 2 years

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oh my god and my phone is getting blown up by my boss wanting to know about the new schedule for after our seasonal workers leave im so over them (upper management) they know im in class full days monday thru friday (taking 20 credits), they know that with the people left we can LITERALLY only cover 8/21 shifts, and thats bare bones staffing thered ideally be more like 27-28 shifts. and they find once person who can work 5 shifts a week and act like theyre saints! brother imma need like 3 more Full Time employees!! thats 16-22 shifts left with NO ONE. these fucks need to just shut down fr. because its not my problem! ive been telling them since May ill be going back to school, theyve also known when the work exchange girls would be leaving. and they did nothinggggg til now (now that im in class all day and cant be there to train people, organize schedules, fix shit, hold the place together). i was trying to get them to start moving on this shit a month ago when i had time for it but now , sorry charlie. fuck. thats on you guys to figure out..... the fact that im still working 40 hours / week still on top of school is more than i should be doing in the first place

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hatsunegarfield · 3 months

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tumblrz cool cuz i kno none of yall kno me and the ones that do are too far away to gaf but man im abt to vent post on main

my god every night ive been dreaming of old friends. fully innocuous dreams, not of friends i had fallings out with but just those who drifted away. we go out to eat, go on road trips, ride roller-coasters and stay in cool creepy hotels together. they look the same age they did when we last interacted but ive grown. they know me, know the things we lived through together, the growth we've experienced together. im 21 now and so horrifically lonely that my unconscious mind is providing me with the only platonic connects ive ever known, the ones i desperately crave. they're such happy dreams, i wake up having enjoyed our outings til im brought back to the reality of it all. im not 16 anymore, we dont talk anymore. they dont confide in me anymore, laugh with me til their stomach hurts, quietly take in the scenery as we meander through spaces we obviously dont belong, learning, growing, seeing all that we can outside our scope. we arent sharing cigs or passing bottles on my back porch anymore. we arent middle schoolers sneaking boxed wine and messing with ouija boards anymore. we arent camping together, exploring together, learning together. but we still do in my dreams. we still get to be stupid teens and 20 somethings in my dreams.

i love my fiancé to death. he IS my best friend, my closest confidant, my 24/7, my everything. but its just not the same as having a friend. a best friend, who knows you inside and out beyond that romantic connection because they have seen you at your absolute worst. theyve seen you green out and smack your head into the corner of a wall at 14. theyve formed a barrier with their bodies in the PE locker room to make sure no one saw your body or your scars at 12, they posed for the cutest little picture of you in your halloween costumes together at 6, sitting in your kindergarten class. and we are all such different people now, and i miss them so dearly, but i know the distance was intended to be. but god i miss them so deeply theyve infiltrated my dreams and honestly i cant even be truly mad. as opposed to sleepless nights and physically torturous nightmares, im getting to be young again, with the people who knew me inside out and backwards, who knew me better than myself and loved me anyways. who ha# a much longer, much deeper, DRASTICALLY different connection to me than any romantic partner could truly have.

i miss them so badly. even the ones i resent for us falling apart, i miss them. i miss them so deeply that some nights the only place i feel at home is my own dreams.

i was warned adulthood would be lonely. i never bought it. i believed we'd be friends forever.

now im sitting in the bath drunk, posting on this hell site about how much i miss those i truly loved, truly adored, truly wouldve taken a bullet for.

god, GOD the loneliness aches in a way ive never felt before. please. please keep close to your friends. even dispite a natural, amicable distance, please check up on them once in a while.

my failure to do so has resulted in a pit in my chest that i dont think any therapy or substance could truly ever remedy fully. a deep ache that only really rears its head in my dreams.

please dont let yourself fade to nothing as i did.

#vent #adulthood

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sonny-whorezik · 5 months

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what really sucks is i wanted to hold out . i understood the situation and i knew they were struggling and i tried to let them know i was here as best i could long distance with minimal contact . but it had felt so Bad just getting maybe Maybe 15 - 20 texts a day it seemed with hours in between the majority while all i know here in colorado are couples who live together and call every day . i would just keep taking myself on errands , to coffee shops , bookstores , parks , ive felt like ive been dating myself towards the end because they just did not have the time for me and i understand why and i was willing to wait for it to pass and just be there for them if they needed me . but it has been hard . i even wrote in my list notebook that by jan 10 if it keeps going on to say something and if the behavior stays the same january 20th then i would be the one to break up for the sake of both of us . i was willing to do this another month and keep giving it a chance

typing all this out does help a bit , just moments ago i was sobbing in my car ; i still have 45 minutes of my break and when this post is over i will likely sob again . i just . idk . i feel like i tried all i could but i keep thinking i couldve somehow done more . like move back to where they live , or create things for them , mail letters again , say good morning instead of replying to last night's message and not hearing back until almost 4pm when my day is halfway over and theirs is just beginning . i wish i told them i love them more

they got nervous when i didnt acknowledge they were excited to see me in february because i was distracted christmas day dealing with my bank i should have told them how much i look forward to it , how it is what keeps me trying to be productive : seeing them in the future . i just had to hold out til february until i felt i couldnt , then it became january 20th as a last resort because i didnt know what to do anymore . i didnt know who they wanted me to be for them, how to be engaged when all they talked about was how hard it all is and how tired they are while i couldnt do a single thing it seemed but text , what could i do almost a thousand miles away ? im sorry i keep posting these i dont know what to do with these feelings and thoughts but purge them and have them acknowledged , whether or not someone reaches out which i dont really want , i think i just want to be heard . i cant tell my roommates due to our unorthodox situation i dont want to hear anything bad said about them from their ex , i dont care what he feels towards them or how he's never been supportive but still has been in my life knowing how involved they have been for my entire adult life . theyre not a bad person , ive never thought of them as abusive or toxic or bad or selfish or all these things people have told me to think when i just wanted to vent and be heard , not hear that they think we're incompatible . and i guess we are incompatible or else this wouldnt be happening . ive told myself this is just a situational issue and not The Relationship but maybe i have been wrong

i dont want that to be the truth . i swear it was just circumstantial , that it just got a little extra hard for a little while but we could get through it and they would know throughout this i would be there for them . i wanted to get them a promise ring while theyve been going through recovery just to give them something to remind them im there for them until the end , however that looks . i will never get the chance to do that for them now , it's too late and i am left just in horror it feels like . im so scared . im So , so scared of everything but ive always had them , now i do not and i know im capable of living without them , but why ? why do i have to do that now ? what could i have done different ? i just feel so , so sorry i couldnt be a better partner and i know they said its not my fault it's just where they are in life , but they didnt seem as sure as i feel about reuniting down the road after we work on ourselves. i just want to throw up but i havent eaten in 24 hours i dont feel hunger or anything but absence and anxiety . cant even listen to tmbg anymore everything i love reminds me of them and theyre not here anymore

#story

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bbeelzemon · 5 years

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god, i feel like every time i decide to wait for my parents to go upstairs, it just happens to be a one-in-a-hundred day that they decide to stay up super late

#i was waiting for my parents to come up and i would get a shower after they went to bed #ive been waiting since 9:30 #they just came up at 11:15 like oh my god im falling asleep right now #they usually come up at 10 or no later than 10:30..#this isnt even too bad today theyve stayed up til midnight on days i was waiting before #it just feels so late because i am so focken tired right now #im like. god am i still awake enough to even shower now??!#i feel so gross i dont want to go to sleep without one #but i also dont want to wake myself up in the shower and not fall asleep until 1:30.. which ive been trying to stop staying up that late..#ugh!!#i dont know what to do :/ -_-

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kfkaesk · 2 years

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im literally going through the five stages of grief bcuz theyre tearing down one of my fav buildings in town. shes already all covered in scaffolding and unrecogniseable. cant think of it too long ill cry

#still in denial like no baby dont go i can save you #they couldve renovated her and made use of her again but theyre just DEMOLISHING HER wheres the justice #everyone thought she was ugly but they just werent looking at her right..........#been inconsolable abt it ever since the news first broke out (so like january)#theyve been debating what to do w her for years...#im not saying they shouldve at least waited for one more year til i leave poland to save Me Personally the grief...#but they shouldve #1 autistic bitch who loves buildings >>>>>> 1000000 urban planners and whathaveyous #okay thats it for me im normal now #log

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spookypotato · 2 years

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dont ask why, but

person A having a really bad crush on person B, but they're convinced B doesnt like them at all, not even in a friendly way, so A tries to cope with their crush by talking the B down and trying to convince themselves they dont like B that way

that way B gets the impression A hates them and B genuinely dislikes them at that point, because they keep saying borderline mean things

they get a bit of an enemies dynamic, founded by nothing basically and there are a few words that hurt where the one that said them feels bad even if they never meant it to hurt that much

but the dynamic continues

[enter the supernatural part]

then one day A wishes on... a magic well (idk) they only want to wake up next to B and they cant deal with this hatred anymore, because they've been looking for each other at clubs they go to or the school they're at, just to make the other see that they're ignoring them

therefore the crush doesnt grow any weaker, but B still doesnt like A, but is also kind of fond of their teasing

anyway, so A wishes to only wake up next to B and The Wishing Well (TM) Grant's that wish

next day, they wake up next to each other, both confused and as soon as they recognize who they're next to pissed at the situation

they wonder how they got there, sometimes it's that A magically wakes up in Bs bed, sometimes the other way around

the first time it happens is B in As bed and they cant explain it

they havent moved, theyve never sleepwalked, they didnt get drunk and they just have no explanation

still they wonder if they did something, but they would know right? anyway, let's just forget about it

til it happens again

and again

and again every single morning

at this point A is kind of catching on that they wished for exactly this, but not sure

B is just panicking, thinking they black out on a daily basis

but the thing is, they dont mind as much as they pretend, because after the first initial day of "what the fuck am I doing here", the second time, it's not that bad

theyve grown to like the light weight next to them when they wake up, the arm draped across their torso, the breath ghosting over their shoulder

they just like the contact, no matter who it was with

or that's what they tell themselves, because ofc they're developing a crush at this point

A doesnt mind either, it just stings a bit everytime they decide to break contact and put on an acts of surprise that is completely unnatural at this point, it happend for like 2 weeks straight

and no matter what they did, how far they were apart, one of them always ended up next to the other

then A goes on a trip to another country (maybe with someone, maybe alone) and as magic would have it, B ends up with them the next morning

if A brought a person on the trip, cue A trying to hide B in their room

B stays a day since 'they're gonna wake up together again anyway'

The person A brought travels home, but A planned on staying for a few extra days and so B automatically also stays, because again 'were gonna wake up together again anyway'

they genuinely have a good time there and replace the actual mean comments with flirty teasing

at this point they definitely both like each other

they go home and are reminded of their reality, they literally cannot spend a day apart

B used to have regular sleepovers at their friends house and they hadnt been able to do that in weeks, so Bs friends are confused and worried, if not a bit hurt, because B wont give them an explanation for why they didnt feel like doing thing with their friends for so long

when seeing B this sad, A decides to just try to solve this

they go back to The Wishing Well (TM) and take back their wish

the next morning they wake up alone

B is confused and kind of missed the company in the morning

A thinks it's for the better

after a few days (and awkward hallway glances, that dont seem electric because of the hatred, but because of longing now), B gets the courage to talk about it with A

A confessed what they did and tell B that it's better for B anyway

B takes a leap of faith and disagrees

and that's what happens when you listen to the song Vera by JUNG...

anyone feel free to write this lmao, but tag me, I wanna read it, please

yes, I imagined this with wilmon sh

#enemies to lovers #prompt #writing prompt #writer #au idea #wilmon #young royals #vera #vera JUNG #JUNG #Spotify #bridgerton #?#👀

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angelsaxis · 2 years

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okay continuation of this post because it got wayyy too long lmao

ah, flashbacks. first his mom, then the ice--linking parts i and ii to the new part ii

the casting for this was so good tho. like chiron shoved himself DEEP back into the closet (not to imply that he ever like super came out) and now theyve got rhodes (a really good actor)--who's way bigger and more masculine in appearance than the first two versions of Chiron.

Juan also looked like that. Juan was also a drug dealer and now look what Chiron is doing.

"where the hos at" he's gotten good at hiding his panic face but that silence was definitely him trying to come up with a Het Response

part iii is titled Black--the name that doesn't fit him, the nickname that is more what Chiron is "supposed" to be than what he actually is, and then nickname that Kevin gave him.

love how his kitchen is blue. promo poster has adult chiron in a softer, greyer blue but idk how much we'll see that color here.

im gonna cry he really has the baby photo of him and his mom. him promising to go visit his mom >>>>

he was so chatty up until kev called.

(the diner lighting is blue) and chiron is STILL a crybaby. his whole facade just CRASHES the second he's talking to kev

Paula being civil about theresa....i have no comment on her apology scene other than that i loved it

(i think chiron gets his face touching from paula)

I think hearing "im sorry" from paula is what gave chiron the strength he needed to go visit kevin.

the spanish music the image of children playing at a blue beach.....its juan. this part is about Chiron reclaiming himself and finally figuring out who he is. i think it also helps to show the time transition because he left in the day and didn't show up til WAY late at night

chiron's utterly speechless man.

"dont look like your ass been missing no meals" he says, staring directly at Chiron's tits

im lovin the tension between them. kevin is making rice and beans--the first meal Chiron had with Juan and Theresa.

"so you cuban now?" / "only in the kitchen Papi" i gonna explode

chiron "i dont drink" chugging the whole thing....okay

That Gay Disappointment. They've got funny methods of pulling information out of each other like I'm sure Kevin only brought p samantha to point out that he's single and now he's just outright demanding the same info from Chiron kajshdlfjaks

"grandma rules" and eating and talking....the spirit of Theresa is with them

Chiron avoiding confronting the fact that he's gay by talking about his current illegal job + prison life. "that aint you, chiron" and thus begins the interrogation of Chiron

"You dont know me" / "i dont know you" theyre thinking about the beach and tbh kevin is so funny for this.

i think that was just a sound of the beach we heard through the open door.

see kevin is trying to chew chiron out for not being himself meanwhile he's hiding the real reason why he called chiron.

Im gonna lose my mind over this song cause up til this point everything has been so subtle but the LYRICS

dont have much comment on the car conversation but i love how relaxed they are here

chiron dumbass so excited to see kevin again he forgot he didn't actually. have somewhere to sleep.

(Chiron's license plate says BLACK305, 305 is the miami area code)

idk if this is the same beach that he and kev had the first beach scene on but hello. a beach.\

oh my god kevin is wearing blue. but for once this color has a POSITIVE association, chiron's entire outlook really is changing for the better

see with this beach in the background they can address names and identities again. they couldn't do that in the diner, like it just didn't work out. but they're at/near the beach and they've relaxed.

I forgot how good this kitchen conversation was; Chiron is so JUMPY like when he's turned inside out and he's really forced to confront a part of himself he'd rather not, he's fidgeting and dodging eye contact and stammering and pausing a lot.

"you the only man that's ever touched me" Chiron is literally breathing so fast afte rhe says this. all of that was building in him since kev called him and from the start of the kitchen convo he did NOT stop squirming

And at the end, he becomes Chiron.

#moonlight 2016 #angel posts #shaking and crying

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snailtide · 2 years

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people in the notes of that malicitors arent a thing post are going wild. so id like to share stories about a couple past persecutors in our system and how wildly our handling of them varied their experiences in this system. i want to say right now that one of them is alright with their story being shared and we do not know if the othet is around anymore or not and have decided that sharing their story makes for a good cautionary tale and should they pop up again and say they do not want to be talked about we will no longer do so.

lets start with the first. they were easily our most physically harmful persecutor to date (that we are aware of) and would make a point to harm the body every time they fronted. this was scary as hell for us and we have plenty of scars as reminders of the times they were around. it was dangerous to let them front alone. it was scary. we never knew how much cleanup thered be after they left front. oftentimes they took care of that part themself but during their worse moments they would just lay waste to our body and leave it for someone else to handle. this was bad. we didnt know why they did it. we didnt know how to stop them. we tried to disallow them from fronting but that only angered them and made things worse. over time talking to them and finding others in the system they were comfortable with we learned why they did what they did. they wanted control. they wanted to prove to us and the world that they had some semblance of control over their own life and ours as a whole. learning that, our first goal was giving them more freedom. giving them more say in what we do. allowing them to say no to things they didnt want to do despite the fact that weve always struggled with saying no to people. and over time theyve stopped fighting so hard to reclaim control over our life. and at this point we're in a place where most things are in our control. of course there are things that arent but that will always be true for everyone regardless of their experiences and what may be going on with their brain. the main takeaway from this alter's personal story is that communication is key. finding things that will lead to alters opening up is important. shutting them out and condemning their actions will only cause problems.

one of those problems arose from the other persecutor id like to talk about. he hurt another alter in our system in a way that took her then child self and mentally slid her up to 19 where shes been stuck since. it was traumatic for her. it was not good. and we handled it terribly. this took place before the previpusly mentioned situation. it was bad. really really bad. in our innerworld we had locked him in a cage. we were cruel to him. we stuck him in a fucking box under the sea in our innerworld. he had no escape and very little to work with. it was bad. it ruined his mental state. he no longet spoke. he no longer did anyrhing. the person that he was had seemingly vamished leaving a husk of a person. it was very bad. he did something awful. we did not understand why at the time. we do now. what he did was something that he had seen as a form of necessary punishment. it wasnt and i wont go into the details of what it was that he did. even now knowing why he did it we will not excuse what he did to her. she is still very fucked up by it. but should he come around again he sure as hell would not face those conditions/treatment again. it was harmful to him. rather than allowing him to improve and recover we wore him down til there was nothing left. we essentially broke him. and it was awful of us. he carried just as much hurt as any othet alter. he was a part of us and we othered him and mistreated him til we could comfortably feel so disconnected from him it felt like he simply was not one of us. thats bad. thats unhealthy. it stunts healing. it can cause worse retaliation. there is simply no winning with that shit.

please please even if you are dealing with persecutors doing awful things please be careful about how you handle those things. poor treatment will only make things worse. not allowing them to front when they are actively doing physical harm is not bad. cutting them off from everyone and not giving them the chance to improve or explore things that may help them see the wrong in their actions is. treat them with care. all alters come from trauma. punishing an alter for acting in any way they may see as helping is damaging. guiding them down a better path, learning the reasons they do things, working with and not against them is the way to go.

and once again just wanna repeat malicitors are not a thing and if anything many people may find something better fitting in the term avenger.

#actually traumagenic #actually dissociative #actually did #actually osdd #persecutors

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petewentzisblack1312 · 3 years

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who are some of your favorite fall out boy tumblr accounts and why are they your favorite ?

@ofalltheginjoints bestie, funnie and also another black fob fan! and also GREAT edits altho those are on pause til they get a new computer

@shouldntdaresleep is just like a beloved mutual. also has very VERY good edits and tbh is kind of how my reputation as the fob dissertation writer that i am came to be, bc they said something that urged me to post my powerpoint and now here i am!

@queenoffakers another beloved mutual i love seeing in my reblogs

@deathchic ruby will just dm me some galaxy brained take about a random fall out boy song and then we will scream at each other and its so great

@pmvstump bestie. ive known jace for like. 6 years now? jeez. they were like the only poc fan i knew when i got here, and i think if i didnt have them id have been too frustrated with the little nuggets of racism to stick around as long as i have. we learn a lot from each other too, and we can always count on each other to call the other out. plus theyve done their fair share of work in keeping the fob fandom specifically safe. thank u for your service.

@souryogurt64 girl loves pete and turned that into a full career. we love to see a girlboss winning. unironically though shes kept such a meticulous record of stuff that its helpful, even if she doesnt fully understand how important some of it is due to not being black the fact that she kept it has done so much for black fall out boy fans generally, without even knowing. also theres so many just like. one off moments that couldve or even shouldve been lost to time that we still have due to her dedicated work that she does purely for petes sake. (hehe)

@falloutboyfan18 mostly because i just like her vibe. the entire fall out boy fandom could burn to the ground and the sun could explode and cops could sprout wings and alexis would still be posting pictures of patrick stump with "this man is literally perfection" in the tags and using funky colours and fonts in her life update posts. like shes very normal and i love that for her plus i love her hair. she doesnt care what everyone else is doing shes just posting pics of our favourite malewife and having the time of her life. i like her cat too hes very cute though she doesnt post him often.

theres other blogs too! aja and atlas are great too but i cant rmr their @ right this second rip but theyre hilarious. like this is a small community of people and im bad with names but theres a lot of folks in my comments and replies and reblogs, some who i dont follow because im not quite into their content, or theyre too young for me to feel okay doing so, who are so lovely and still favourites of mine!!

#dils declares #fwiends

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jennrypan · 3 years

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I rewrote the part where Scourge and Sonic have that "Just like me convo" so it can fit my au of them.

____________________

Fiona cheating on him with his anti didnt make Sonic angry..

Fiona actively lying to him didnt piss him off, maybe annoyed him..but it didnt piss him off.

What did piss him off however was how she antagonized Amy and Tails, and how she seemed to preen at the slightest attention Scourge gave her..because she wanted someone to protect her..someone to care about her, he didnt know..and what set him off was how she slapped Tails away, mocked him for crying and all to impress his anti!

"What the hell Fiona!?"

Sonic snapped, though this just caused the vixen to roll her eyes before she looked at him..god her attitude was grating his nerves,

"What?" She mused as if she didnt just slap his best friend for no reason,

That ..that made him scowl, and without warning he moved- he wanted to actually..throw her, her attitude annoyed him, her disregard for his friends pissed him off- he hadnt accounted for Scourge actually protecting her, as when he moved..so did the green hedgehog and before he could touch Fiona a fist crushed into his cheek causing him to let out a sharp grunt and lose his footing for a brief minute, instantly turning his attention towards Scourge..he still had that same sleazy smile..taunting.

"Bad move, blue."

Scourge drawled out, and Sonic just clicked his tongue watching as Scourge slowly paced around him..hes been itching to fight him for who knows how long..that much Sonic knew, but Sonic just hummed,

"Oh so you can help other people besides yourself, I was beginning to worry you had no redeeming qualities!" He stated sounding visibly amused,

Scourge just scoffed lowly, "Please, thats not a redeemin quality, raise your standards." He sneered, and without warning he ran forward..and the fight began.

Amy had since charged at Fiona but Sonic could barely focus on that as Scourge kept matching him blow for blow..only thing was Scourge was a lot more violent..a lot more aggressive.

It wasnt everyday Sonic worked up a sweat fighting an opponent as not many people matched his speed..Shadow and Metal were the only ones..now Scourge had been added to that list of people that seem to want to kill him for no reason.

"Jeez its hard to believe someone so bitter could be me, like damn dude, did your favorite jacket get discontinued?"

Even during this fight Sonic didnt stop being taunting, as he landed on top of a rock- narrowly avoiding being kicked into a tree, watching as Scourge turned towards him, his eyes were surprisingly still shielded by his shades but Sonic could still feel him glaring at him,

Scourge moved again and this time he successfully swiped Sonics legs from underneath him and when Sonic fell the blue hedgehog instinctively moved to the side as Scourges fist came crashing into the floor were his head had previously been,

"Lets see you keep makin jokes when I break your fuckin legs." Scourge hissed- despite his words he sounded delighted by the thought, pleased with the thought of hurting him and hes use to this from Shadow and Metal, they were both assholes who worked with Eggman on their worst days and they just genuinely didnt like him that much but Scourge? Theyve only met three times before this and he didnt remember antagonizing the male enough to make him want to hurt him that much-

Scourge charged forward once more and Sonic quickly moved to the side, arm pulling back before he crashed his fist into the side of Scourges face as he had done to him earlier..knocking the shades from his face which caused his anti to pause briefly, glancing down at the shades for a millisecond as they landed on the floor, cracked and lopsided.

That millisecond was soon forgotten as Scourge retaliated..his body moved lower and his leg rose before he kicked Sonic straight in the chest causing the male to grunt, stumbling back at the force but the kick wasnt enough as Scourge had soon punched him in the stomach,

"God- I still got a few more jokes- first, those shades were lame anyways- not a joke but a fact!"

Sonic stated quickly, jumping out of the way from Scourge once more as the male just growled,

"Im not takin shit from someone who thinks 'Way past cool' is a thing people actually say!" Scourge retorted,

"Hey people said it before!"

"No ones ever said that shit before!"

It went on like this for what seemed like a few minutes with both of them arguing with each other, Sonic just wanted to see exactly why Scourge was going out of his way to hurt him- even trying to actually break his leg if he was given the chance..the rage was so weird..he knew antis were different but he didnt expect his anti to be so..angry, so violent- his anti seemed more like a very verbal Shadow with the way he kept attacking him,

"Ya know being an asshole isnt as rewarding as ya think it is right?"

Sonic questioned- grunting when he got into a tree, thankfully avoiding Amy as she chased Fiona around still, she had tried to help but Fiona kept distracting her.

"Pfft, its more rewardin than wastin my time saving a buncha useless dicks who dont deserve it!" Scourge replied, sounding amused by the sheer thought of saving someone else...Sonic couldnt imagine not wanting to save people..yeah sometimes he thought some people didnt deserve it but still,

"Youre still a Sonic! Still me- you should want to at least try and help people!"

"Why? Cuz thats what you do?"

Scourge just laughed and without warning he moved forward..punched him in the stomach, then his chest- he didnt wait for a retaliation as he kicked him into a tree, he found with the purpose to bruise and scar while Sonic fought to distance and distract-

His head spun for a split moment, the wind knocked out of him,

"You dont get it! Rulin people with fear and hate, is soo much better than tryna be some glorified saint!"

Scourge stated, his eyes were blazing..the rage was back..he looked nothing like him right now..something was off, Sonic didn't like how unhinged he was, how cruel-

"That isnt true, and it never will be."

Sonic declared and Scourge just sneered at him, laughing, fist pulling back as Sonic quickly moved from his spot, his knuckles slammed into bark instead of Sonics nose,

"When you finally realize not everyone deserves to be saved, when you see how much more freein it is to be above people than to depend on them- you'll be like me, all it takes is one bad day, one bad situation and you'll see that." Scourge hummed out, side stepping as Sonic went to kick him, only to have his leg grabbed and he was forcefully thrown down, causing him to grunt lowly, and without warning Scourge stepped on his chest, Sonic could only stare at him for a brief moment before he just grinned-

"Thats where your wrong dude, a bad day doesnt just make someone a villain..but a good day? A good day could change a lot, all it takes is someone showing you an ounce of kindness, someone showin you the love you never got and you'll be like me, a good person..maybe even a hero." He stated, grinning.

He expected another mocking laugh instantly, expecting Scourges foot to press down but for a brief minute..the green hedgehog paused, eyes widening ever so slightly, and for that minute Sonic was sure he got to him..he knew deep down Scourge wasnt evil, he could just show him he didnt have to be like this, he could help him..he didnt know anything about his anti besides the fact something was severely wrong with his mental state and he took too much enjoyment in hurting him but he knew he wasnt evil.

Then.. the green hedgehog just smiled, his expression hardening as if it hadnt changed in the first place,

"How naive."

He sneered and that slowly shattered Sonics hopes of getting through to him..he just dismissed his words-

"Not naive..hopeful." Sonic retorted, moving his arm to grab his ankle but his foot had moved towards his neck and Sonic jolted- the malice in his eyes was so..floundering..he could never imagine that look on his own face.

"Same thing." Scourge stated dismissively, and Sonic didnt get the chance to reply as a blur of yellow and brown crashed into Scourge, pushing the older teen to the ground successfully allowing Sonic to sit up instantly,

"Get away from him you bully!" Tails screamed, Sonic heard Scourge cursing and soon Tails was thrown back, causing Sonic to quickly move to catch him.

"Thanks bud." Sonic murmured, staring at Scourge who just fixed his jacket- appearing inconvenienced as Fiona neatly landing besides him as Amy ran up next to Sonic, "Stop running you coward!" The pink hedgehog hissed, Scourge just plucked out a warp ring from his jacket, just smiling at Sonic.. His smile was so..mean looking, it was too sharp..too fake,

"Til next time blue."

Was all Scourge said in a sing song like voice as he let Fiona into the portal first and he followed quickly after just as Amy chucked her hammer in their direction, who she was aiming at specifically he had no clue.

"Dammit! Stupid! Assholes, ugh!" Amy screamed, storming over to snatch her hammer up,

"Theyre such bullies! Why did I even like her!" Tails exclaimed, Sonic just frowned before he sighed quietly, glancing from Amy to Tails.

"Lets just go, theyre gone now, might as well enjoy the peace." He stated with a simple shrug, giving them a small smile, the smile made Amy visibly melt while it comforted Tails slightly, the young pink hedgehog was at his side instantly, clutching his arm- which he allowed for the time being while Tails was a little slower to approach him, still dejected.

He knew his anti despised him but he'll never get the reason why, and unfortunately..Scourge was too far gone to talk down from whatever path he was taking..the friendly route was no longer an option.

#j.p writes #sonic one shot #sonic au #sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #tails the fox #amy rose #sonamy if you squint #archie comies #archie sonic #not shippy. cuz no #scourge get therapy challenge #sonic rewrite

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