#and the symbol in the back of his coat has such a terrible bright ass blue. i hope its significant bc id take that shit off | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleeplessincairo · 4 years

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[ dating steve rogers would include: ]

warnings: just a few cusses and a few sexual implications

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He's an absolute gentlemen even in awkward, but adorable ways:

He’s always asking for permission before taking action whether it’s asking if you’re okay with him wrapping his arms around you in public or if you mind him kissing you even if you’ve been dating for 6 months.

He’s always racing to your side of the car or to the entrance of any room/building just so he can open the door for you-But despite him being super human, you still manage to beat him to it sometimes.

He even sometimes sprawls his jacket across a puddle just so your shoes don’t get wet, but you usually end up jumping in the puddle and splashing the water everywhere with an innocent grin. You do appreciate the thought and effort, though.

He constantly offers you his jacket just in case you’re cold and even sometimes goes ahead and drapes it over your shoulders, because he knows how stubborn you are to actually bother accepting it or asking for it.

He absolutely HAS to walk or drive you home every time just to make sure you arrive home safely and make sure no knucklehead dares to mess with you, but when you refuse to let him go through all that trouble he settles for ‘observing from a distance’ which is basically him stalking you.

Despite him having the spontaneous job of being a superhero, he never keeps you waiting too long-Mostly because of him missing his dance with Peggy by years resulted in him being as punctual as he can.

The list goes on...From him pulling your seat out for you to sit on and helping you put on your coat to paying for every date regardless of your protests.

In the beginning, he was extremely shy and flustered to the point where he would stutter uncontrollably and question every move he made so he wouldn't embarrass himself.

At the end of your dates, He tried to kiss you but usually ended up chickening out and end up kissing your cheek instead.

But finally, when he walked you to your apartment on your 4th date, he stood there awkwardly stuttering a goodnight while staring directly at your lips, only for you to grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him yourself.

When Tony heard the story of you being the one to make the first move and kiss him, he stayed about a whole month teasing Steve about it.

"Is (Y/N) gonna be the first one to make a move in the bedroom too, Steve?"

Him giving you those adorable sideways smiles with his eyes glimmering with adoration that’s reserved just for you.

You teaching him about the latest technology, slang, and trends after realizing that getting Tony to do it was a completely bad idea-He ended up just telling Cap’ either completely incorrect things or just things that would give him a good laugh.

“Wow (Y/N), that’s so fetch.”

"Alright let me get this straight, you tag people? Wasn’t that a game people played where you chase someone and if you touch them, they're it? Did they make that into an...app-apparatus?"

A lot of ‘Wait, I didn’t mean to send that’

You get to see the clumsy, imperfect, and wounded side of Captain America the world doesn’t get to see; you get to witness all the ‘Him getting up in the middle of the night to pee and accidentally stepping on his shield, making it hit him in the shin’s, all the sleepless nights spent together because the nightmares are getting too vivid, all the regrets and disappointments he holds for himself because he was too late, all the insecurities that eat him alive because of him having all of this strength and these abilities yet still not being enough, all the reckless and deadly actions he makes without even a second thought because he’s just not used to having someone to live for, the way he slightly flinches when Thor summons and uses his powers, all the times he misplaces his shield to the point where Tony ends up putting a tracker in it, the emptiness of his apartment because he’s too afraid to settle down, the bright red color that seeps through his cheeks when you press your body tightly against his, all the low swears that escape through his mouth when he thinks no one can hear him, all the uncertainties and hesitations that he never dares to show because he’s ‘Captain freaking America’. You get to witness all his deepest fears, thoughts, and feelings. You get to witness and love Steve Rogers.

Steve always making sure that his superhero life doesn't affect his private life especially when said superhero life concludes of spontaneous and agonizingly long missions. He makes it his personal duty to make time for dates, events, and well, you.

Steve doesn't like bullies. He doesn’t care who they are.

Steve woke up from almost 75 years of being frozen in ice after fighting wars and battles, fighting for America and it’s freedom only to wake up and find out the world is still a dark place and he can’t help but think that all his friends died for nothing. Steve makes it his new mission to fight for equality and power to the people, to make sure everyone has a voice, to make sure no one is overlooked or ignored, to make sure that everyone gets the God-given rights they have.

Captain America symbolizes freedom and protection and he'll be damned if he can’t offer minorities the freedom and protection they DESERVE. Captain America has always been for standing up for the little guy, for following what’s right not the law. Captain America is the symbol of how America should be.

Steve Rogers was a fugitive of the law at some point, there is no way he’d hold back on joining in on women’s marches, protests and riots, and pride parades.

Steve Rogers volunteering at Youth Centers to teach kids self-defense and offering them the guidance, support, and comfort Bucky always managed to offer him.

Steve Rogers protecting people from police brutality-His insomnia and Tony’s drones helped him keep an eye out for it and other forms of harassment.

Steve refusing to reinforce nor aid any governments that took part in the oppression of it’s own citizens and worked hard to striving for a better life for them with the help of T’challa and Tony help creating a treaty that ensures it.

A lot of slow dancing and slight swaying while being wrapped in each others arms.

Especially to Billie Holiday. Boy, is he a fan of Billie Holiday.

He's not exactly supportive of technology due to the unfortunate difference in human interactions between the 40s and now, so he sticks to some of his old habits.

Instead of sending text messages or calling during missions, he mostly writes you letters. Every single different alias he uses for each letter is inscribed into your brain.

Instead of staying home all day, he takes you out to soak in the beautiful weather of New York and tells you about how it used to be back in the 40’s.

Instead of watching a movie on your laptop or the TV, he takes you to the local cinema or even a drive-in.

Oh, how he loves taking you to the Smithsonian Museum just so he can point out all the inaccurate facts and exhibitions in display.

Leaving each other sticky notes everywhere to remind each other of events because of the fact that his unstable working hours so you don’t see each other much for you to tell each other face to face. Slowly, the both of you ended up developing a habit of leaving short cute love notes on each other’s things-Every single sticky note is saved in your own special places but Steve takes a few with him whenever he goes on missions to keep him company.

Although, you’d never tell Steve this, but his handwriting is absolutely terrible. Despite him being quite the artist, reading his notes is like decoding what a doctor’s prescription note says. However, with every not he wrote you, you started recognizing the way his I’s look like E’s, the way he curves and arcs his letters like he’s drawing loops, and the way punctuation is a stranger to him and soon enough it was like you were reading your own handwriting. You did enjoy decoding the notes he leaves you everyday. It was like a secret language only you could understand.

Him taking you to Brooklyn and telling you stories of the trouble he'd get himself into in EVERY spot.

He told you about how he almost got arrested at the Old Stone House because he snuck in there with Bucky. All because they couldn’t wait for the Grand re-opening. Bucky managed to talk the police out of it by lying to them, and saying that Steve had 2 weeks left to live and how it was his dying wish to see the place.

Oh, and how he had his first kiss with Leslie Jordan in front of Bamonte’s during their first and only date in the 11th grade. He remembered all the fights he got into with the jerks in his class that were always picking on her because of the birthmark on her face, he remembered all the times they sat together because no one wanted to sit with them, he remembered how he asked her to the school dance because every girl deserved the chance to have a special slow dance with a boy, he remembered how he saved up so that they could eat at that fancy italian place-Bamonte’s-afterwards. She ended up switching schools and moving to Wisconsin the following week.

Steve told you about all the places that were rundown and were there before all the replacements and modifications, all his happy childhood memories, all the alleys he got his ass kicked in, all the places him and Bucky got kicked out of. But it wasn’t until after you met Bucky and shared hundreds of stories about Steve that you realized that even before the serum Steve was still a fucking dumbass that went headfirst into reckless and dangerous trouble; Now, he didn’t jump out of planes without a parachute back then but he did climb 3 floors up the side of his apartment building just because he felt like it.

Helping and comforting Steve after Peggy dies and being his shoulder to cry on, to lean on, to hide his dorky smile in, and rest his head on that fit perfectly as if it was hand sculpted by God himself just for Steve.

He tells you everything. Absolutely everything. From how many punching bags he managed to make fly today to telling you about his failed missions or missions with casualties-Sometimes he didn’t even need to verbally tell you, you could tell what happened by the slouch of his shoulders and the lack of glimmer in his oh-so-bright eyes.

Jesus, the man can swear like a goddamn sailor. It took him about 2 months for him to feel comfortable enough swear in the presence of a lady, but it was expected that he’d break at some point considering all the pent up rage he has bottled up. The man makes punching bags fly for God’s sake! Not to mention the fact that he was in the army with the Howling Commandos of all people. He just couldn’t help the series of cusses that flew past his lips when-despite the years of training-he accidentally hits himself with his shield, the ‘Fucks’ and ‘Shits’ that escaped through clenched teeth when he got injured during a mission, the soft profanities whispered against your neck as you came apart underneath him, the loud and consistent obscenities that forced his way out of his throat during his road rage-God help anyone who dares to ride in a car with Steve Rogers. You asked him to drive you to work ONCE during rush hour while your car was in the shop and oh boy, he let out words so colorful and vibrant they’d bring Tony Stark to tears.

Tony having a habit of interrupting you and Steve whenever you’re clearly having a moment.

“Did I walk in on some pre-fonduing?” Of course Howard told Tony about it during one of this drunken rants about Captain America, The Living God, and of course Tony would bring it up from time to time just to see Steve’s face turn redder than the Ironman armor.

Getting a mini heart attack whenever you hear about another reckless thing he did despite him telling you that he’d be more careful.

At some point, Bucky and Natasha become your personal spies who inform you of every Godforsaken idiotic thing he does

“You got into a brawl with a God, seriously?"

"Well, so did Tony.”

“AGAIN? You jump out of a plane without a parachute AGAIN?”

He gets homesick quite often but thankfully you’re there to help him through it with ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ ready for him at any moments notice as well as trips to Coney Island and the Stark Expo, but mostly, even if Steve doesn’t admit it, your presence is what helps him through it. The way you run your fingers through his hair and draw circles with them on his skin takes him back to simpler times when he was a little boy lying in the arms of his beloved mother, Sarah. A time of safety and comfort.

Helping him go through his To-Do list.

One of the most precious memories you have of him was when he saw Rocky for the first time with you, he was in awe of the storyline and the colors-He was put in a wonderous state after seeing the deep red color of blood being spat onto the floor, the sweat shimmer of Rocky’s face darimg his opponent to come at him, the overwhelming saturation and hue of actually seeing colors on a screen, of no longer seeing the dull and bland black-and-white pictures he was so used to.

You’re pretty sure he has Marvin Gaye’s entire discography memorized by heart at this point. Steve is eternally grateful to Sam to mentioning Troubleman to him because it was the start of a great obsession.

Training with him. Steve Rogers will personally wake you up for a morning run everyday and honestly you wouldn’t mind it if he didn’t wake you up everyday at the break of dawn. He can’t help it though. Sleep has become a stranger to him since he’s been back.

You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t enjoy it, running with him side-by-side during the rare moments where the city was actually asleep offered you solace. Sometimes the both of you would talk, othertimes you’d run in silence, but mostly on each run you’d use it as a chance to help him catch up on another music album you thought was culturally important for him to know-Dating Steve really diversified your music taste.

He’s a hugger. He just loves embracing you in any possible way whether its linking his arms around you while you’re working, resting his head on your shoulder and hugging you from behind while you’re cooking, or pulling you onto his lap so he can breathe in your scent while he’s doing paperwork.

He has dozens of notebooks filled with hundreds of illustrations he drew of you and The Avengers. You’ve got a few hung up on your fridge but your favorite is definitely the drawing he made of a ring, set in between the cushions of a tiny blue box, that he gave you right before he bent down on one knee.

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hyperfixationspam · 3 years

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jonmartin voice requests transcript

i don’t think anybody’s made a transcript of the requests from the gaming & giving stream yet so here it is. i cut out the first few minutes where they’re just getting ready and a few minutes at the end, but otherwise it’s the full thing

ALEX (out of character): So, we are going to be going through a bunch of reads which are what people have been, basically providing us to say. I’ve not seen these beyond checking that I can open the document, so this is sort of, a bit of a blind read on my end.

JONNY: I’ve read through some of them and they are awful.

ALEX: (laughing) Fabulous. Great. So with that in mind, I’m now opening it up. Um... okay, cool, so for the first one, you- I need to interrupt you. (frustrated) Oh, fine.

JONNY: Okay, so this is from donut_bridgetrose. (spooky voice) The Magnus Archives is a podcast-

ALEX (ooc, very loud and overenthusiastic): FUCK, DUDE! YEAH IT SURE IS!

(Jonny starts laughing out of shock)

ALEX: I thought that was an appropriate level of enthusiasm.

JONNY: (laughing) Sorry, I didn’t expect you to put quite so much pepper on that one!

ALEX: I mean, I don’t know what to say like-

JONNY: No, fair enough, fair enough.

ALEX: I’m just reading with (???) intent. I’m up next, who’s this one from?

JONNY: Uh, reatx.

ALEX: Okay, given the writing of this one, I’m going to assume this is actually intended as a Martin one, not an Alex one, so I’ll do it as such. (clears throat to do Martin voice, disappointed tone) Jon, please j-just stop reheating tea in the microwave!

JONNY: The next one is from sofairycakes. Again, I’m gonna assume it’s a- like, I think these are all pretty much JonMartin ones, to be honest. I don’t think anyone’s actually said- the thing is, Alex, I don’t think anyone actually cares what *we* say.

ALEX: (laughs) That’s true. So I think we need to do this one like-

JONNY: No one’s paying to have, like, Alexander J. Newall say something, you know?

ALEX: It’s fine, I’ll pay me. Okay, I think we have to do this simultaneously.

JONNY: Yeah, because it says “both.” Or... let’s- do you want to go first?

ALEX: I don’t know if it is- no, let’s say it together, let’s say it together. Let’s try and sync up.

JONNY: I don’t- I don’t think they want it simultaneously. I think what this means is they don’t mind which one’s which.

ALEX: Very well, in which case then, I’ll go first.

JONNY: Okay.

ALEX: And I’ll do it as a Martin one, then. (clears throat, Martin voice, soft) I-I’ll take care of you.

JONNY (Archivist): (hoarse, upset voice) It’s rotten work.

ALEX (Martin): Not to me. Not if it’s you. (ooc) There you go.

JONNY: Okay. Ac3yspac3y-

(Alex laughs)

JONNY: Or, ace 3 space 3.

ALEX: Okay, great.

JONNY: (clears throat)

ALEX: Yeah, really get the-

JONNY (ooc, looking straight at the camera): Four rats in a trench coat is the best Peter Lukas, and we love him.

ALEX: (laughs) Direct to camera address, very nice, okay. (as Martin) Jon, why isn’t Lonely Eyes *our* ship name? (ooc) Who was that from, by the way?

JONNY: That was from compostwitch. Next one is from theoceaninmotion, there’s a whole bunch for you.

ALEX: Ooh, yeah. Oh, my formatting’s terrible, I’m gonna do the unspeakable, I’m now just gonna start looking at the text instead of your face. (computer screen shines in his eyes) Ooh, that’s bright, maybe not, maybe not. Okay, gimme a second to just mess with my formatting because I can’t see nothing.

JONNY: There’s very little like streaming to make you realize quite how absurdly pale you are after a year of just being inside.

ALEX: Outside is bad time. Right, okay, I’m gonna give this a go, then. Forgive me if I hesitate here, I’ll do my best. (clears throat) No, don’t-

JONNY: This is from- sorry. This is from theoceaninmotion.

ALEX (Martin): No, don’t click- Peter, just-just give me your phone, I’ll get the emojis set up, but I-I *refuse* to help you understand Elias’s texts any further from here. There are just some things I don’t need to know! (grossed out noise)

JONNY: This is from joeytwoeyes.

ALEX: I’m gonna assume Martin as well. (as Martin) Mm, assassins killing Elias? My favorite!

JONNY: This one is from nagev.

ALEX: Uhh. Alright, I think this one might be for me, like not a Martin one. (deep sigh) Harrison Campbell is my favorite author.

JONNY: This is one for me from riotcontrolcamp. (as the Archivist) Sometimes people will ask me about my life aspirations and I’m like, I don’t know, I thought I’d be in a car with my hand out of the tail light by now.

ALEX: (laughs) I like that one.

JONNY: This one’s from Cassidy.

ALEX (Martin): Forgive and forget? (very quickly shifts into a hysterical voice that’s very much not Martin’s) No! Resent and remember! (cackles evilly)

JONNY: From cucumberkale, this is a two hander.

ALEX: Oh, yeah, I’m first. (as Martin) I have done nothing wrong ever, on my life.

JONNY (Archivist): I know this and I love you. (ooc) Good little Parks and Rec reference there.

ALEX: Oh, yeah!

JONNY: From the bluescapegoat.

ALEX (Martin, mischievous): Jon, uh, did you hear about the explosion at the cheese shop?

JONNY (Archivist): What? What cheese shop?

ALEX: (wiggling eyebrows) Yeah, da brie [debris] was everywhere.

JONNY: (deep sigh) This apocalypse has officially gone on for too long. (ooc) This is from alfcommittingcrimes.

ALEX: (laughs) (as Martin) Hello, Jon. Apologies for the deception, but I would like to remind you I love you. (laughs)

JONNY: Aww.

ALEX: Cute reference.

JONNY: Um, this one’s from Monty. This isn’t actually-

ALEX: This is more of an instruction.

JONNY: They haven’t scripted anything, yeah. Um, okay. (as the Archivist) Martin, I’m very sorry for ever saying that I hated your tea.

ALEX (Martin): It’s okay. Some things are more important than tea. (ooc) There you go. I thought I’d go sincere-

JONNY (ooc): Oh no! Martin’s been replaced! (Alex laughs) Anyways, this one is from tomakeitworse and it’s for you, Alex. Well, as Martin, not as you.

ALEX (ooc): I mean it’s wrong, but okay. (as Martin) Oolong is the best tea.

JONNY: From shikashaman. (statement voice) Statement of Benedict Avalanche regarding clown milk. Statement begins. Honk.

ALEX: (laughing) I think that’s a call back to earlier this stream, so. (makes ok symbol) Very class act.

JONNY (ooc): One from ladymystree for me. (Sasha giggling in the background)

ALEX: I’m hearing giggling on your end, I think someone’s enjoying themself.

JONNY: No, it’s fine. They’re doing a cryptic crossword and I’m sure they’ve just stumbled across a-

ALEX: It’s really cryptic. Really cryptic. Yeah, it’s a cryptic giggle, alright. Carry on, then.

JONNY (Archivist): Ceaseless Watcher, evict this feline, Her Serene Highness The Empress Nyx from out of the *goddamn* Christmas tree.

ALEX: (laughing) I like that one.

JONNY (ooc): This is from myth_ac. (as the Archivist) Martin and I have this connection where we finish each other’s-

ALEX (Martin): Sentences!

JONNY (Archivist): Don’t interrupt me.

ALEX (ooc): (laughs) I quite like that one as well.

JONNY (ooc): Yeah, I don’t know what that one’s from, I recognise it. But it’s, uh, redderie. (as the Archivist) I’ve been asked why I changed my opinion on poetry. I do not know this. This information is unattainable such as it is. Not even my endless resources could solve such a mystery. No, I did not fall in love with a poet on purpose, next question. (Alex laughs) (ooc) This one’s from coinmaster. Uh, and it’s for you, Alex.

ALEX (Martin): Thank you so much for asking, Jon. My ideal date, uh, would be getting home after a long day, curling up next to a roaring fire and listening to Rusty Quill Gaming. It’s-it’s a podcast, it’s distributed by Rusty Quill.

JONNY (Archivist): Oh, yes, I’ve heard of it. It’s not very good. (roasting) Ohhhh!

ALEX: But it does have a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial sharealike 4.0 international license, so that’s quite cool, too. (ooc) (laughs) I may have riffed there, I apologise.

JONNY (ooc): It’s fine, it’s fine. We’ve said what they’ve asked us to say, anything additional is- that’s bonus. (Alex laughs) This one is from mstars, for me to read in statement voice.

ALEX: Oh! (laughs hysterically, tries to compose himself)

JONNY (statement voice): Why are you so far away in Galactonium? Hey, won’t you save me? Hold me, maybe? I just want to be your little clone baby.

ALEX: (laughs) And that’s in my head for the rest of the day.

JONNY (ooc): This is for you. I refuse to listen to it. I’ve- too many people have told me it’s good. Which means that-

ALEX: Automatically, yeah. Understood.

JONNY: Well, no, it’s just, like- I don’t want it stuck in my head. I’m aware, if I listen to it, it’s in my head forever, and I can’t risk that.

ALEX: You don’t want him- you don’t want Tim getting- well, Tim and Ben, you don’t want them living rent free there.

JONNY: They can’t win!

ALEX: Understood. Okay, in that case, then. (as Martin) Sorry, Elias, I can’t hear you, there’s a panopticon in the way! (ooc) Fair.

JONNY: One from b_ees. Another for you.

(TheBrothersMeredith in the chat: Coward)

ALEX: Oh no.

JONNY: Mm-hm.

ALEX (Martin): (grunt) I’m trying to sneak around in the Lonely, but I’m-I’m dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks just- it keeps alerting the Eye!

JONNY: One from thequack04. (as the Archivist) I have had a very long day, I am very small, and I have no money, so you can imagine the stress I’m under. Square brackets this is a John Mulaney quote close square brackets. (Alex laughs) (ooc) One for you. Uh, from misssunflower94.

ALEX (ooc): I’m gonna assume this is for actually me.

JONNY: No, I think it is for Martin, because remember, Martin’s opinions on poetry.

ALEX: Uh, no, fair, actually, no, I take that back. You are correct, you are correct. (as Martin) I don’t know, I just- I’ve always found Oscar Wilde to just be a bit... overrated?

JONNY: One for me, from awildmeerie. (as the Archivist) Hello demons, it’s me, ya boy. (Alex laughs) (ooc) Um, (stumbles over the name) emperiocism. Sorry for that, emperiocism. Can Jonny sing/speak in his most serious Archivist voice? (serious Archivist voice, speaking) Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

ALEX: Oh, don’t- (incomprehensible frustrated noises) god.

JONNY (ooc): From marsmagnusandkbouchard, this is for you.

ALEX (Martin): (very angry) Fuck being the bigger person, I’m just- (feral) I’m just gonna start biting people!

JONNY: Excellent. One for both of us from zestymayos92.

ALEX (ooc): (laughing, tries to compose himself) (as Martin) The world ended, and that is super not poggers.

JONNY (Archivist): You’re right, Martin, very not poggers indeed. (ooc) One from catskeleton for you.

ALEX (ooc): That’s just- oh. (as Martin) Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m definitely not a ghost, and Jon, I love you.

JONNY: I have a really difficult one- this anonymous one is difficult because it says “in the style of Sailor Moon” and I’ve not seen many anime, um, animi, sorry, in my life.

ALEX (ooc): The plural is anipodes.

JONNY: And Sailor Moon is not one, so I have no idea what-

ALEX: As far as I am aware, if you want to do it representatively, your clothes need to fly off in a large elaborate explosion and be replaced with some kind of dress-based armor. But that may not be feasible.

JONNY (Archivist): (very awkward) I am the pretty Avatar who fights for the Eye and for knowledge! I am the Archivist, and now, in the name of the Ceaseless Watcher, I’ll punish you! (ooc) I... I don’t know.

ALEX: I think that might have been actually pretty decently close. It’s been a few years since I watched a Sailor Moon, so don’t hold me to that though.

JONNY: I’ve only ever seen silent gifs on... your Tumblrs or your Twitters. Anyways, this is from theraccoonfriend. (as the Archivist) Get out of my swamp. (ooc) Uh, from Kath, for you, Alex.

ALEX (Martin): I’m fine! Stop asking!

JONNY: From sunnyjordie, for you, Alex.

ALEX (Martin): Hey, would you help me out? I’m very gay and a few- and I’d like a few dollars. (ooc) I’m gonna do that again, I think I screwed it up. (as Martin) Hey, would you help me out? I’m very gay and I’d like a few dollars.

JONNY: Square brackets this is a John Mulaney-

ALEX (Martin): Square brackets this is a John Mulaney quote close square brackets.

JONNY: Um, from Linothy, for both.

ALEX (Martin): Please, pleeeease stop drinking tea by just putting the bag in your mouth and just chugging hot water.

JONNY (Archivist): I’m *cultured*, Martin. (ooc) And dang3rgrang3r, or dang 3er grang 3er. Uh, for both.

ALEX (Martin): God, Jon, why don’t you ever wear your own clothes?

JONNY (Archivist): I like your sweater! It makes me feel...

ALEX (Martin): It makes you feel like a thief!

JONNY (Archivist): No, it makes me feel *safe*.

ALEX (Martin): Aww, Jon...

JONNY (ooc): One from voidbean.

ALEX (Martin): I’m sorry, you were STABBED??

JONNY (Archivist): *Lightly* stabbed, I didn’t want to frighten you. (ooc) I think that’s a Brooklyn 99 one.

ALEX (ooc): Yeah, so do I, actually.

JONNY: Sarafifi24.

ALEX (Martin): Press X to pay respects.

JONNY: So from alfcommittingvoicecrimes, they’ve asked “sing chorus of Pump Shanty.” And the thing is, if you want to hear me singing the chorus of Pump Shanty, that is available on Bandcamp, Youtube, and Spotify. So, Alex, why don’t you do it?

ALEX (ooc): Okay, I have no idea so I’m gonna take a random stab in the dark.

JONNY: I’m very excited to hear it.

ALEX: With a tune that doesn’t even scan in terms of meter.

JONNY: No, like just- it’s a folk tune so just sing it like a folk. Sing it to an old folk tune.

ALEX: ...Yes.

JONNY: You know, an old folk tune.

ALEX: (to a tune that’s definitely not Pump Shanty) Pump me boys, let’s a-fly, down to hell and up to the sky. Bend your backs and break your bones, we’re just a million miles from home. (cringing) I have no idea what that should be-

JONNY: (trying not to laugh) Brilliant. No, that was it. You got it.

ALEX: Oh, wicked. I was worried for a moment.

JONNY: No, that was... uncanny, to be honest. We’ve got a few more that are from Nobles donations, so these don’t have specific donor names, so we can just go back and forth.

ALEX: The first one’s as Wilde. (as Wilde) I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying.

JONNY (Archivist?): Blartin, that is, Paul Blartin Martin Cop is on his segue and eye ass Jon is sitting on the handlebars. He is facing Blartin in a koala-esque embrace which is not quite an embrace but rather for structural support. His ass eyes are out and alert. He knows all. Petty theft perishes under their collaborative iron fist.

ALEX: (laughing incredulously) Okay!

JONNY (ooc): Do you want to do this one? I think- yeah.

ALEX: Okay, okay, sure. (deep breath, as Martin) Hey, you can do this. It’s been really, really rough, but you can do this.

JONNY (Archivist): Working at the Magnus Institute was like a four year game show called “Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?” but instead of winning money, you lose your bloody soul. (ooc) Okay. (as the Archivist) You’re a child, an infant. Your mocking is thus infantile. He’s not my boyfriend. This man is more to me than you could dream. He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness and warmth when I shiver in cold, and his kiss still thrills me after a millennia. His heart overflows with the kindness of which this world is not worth of. I love this man beyond measure and reason. He’s not my boyfriend, he is all and he is more.

ALEX (Martin): You’re an incurable romantic.

JONNY (Archivist): (next request) He thinks I don’t notice, but the bodies in the hallway speak a clear language. Death is all around us, no one is safe. The signs all point in one direction: Martin’s totally sus.

ALEX (Martin): (noises of disbelief) O-okay, come on, I am innocent! How could you even think that??

JONNY: Martin was ejected.

ALEX (ooc): (laughs) I think that’s it.

JONNY: Yeah, I think that’s the list.

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ninjakitty15 · 3 years

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Chapter 12: Of Gods and Bondage (Loki x OFC Pairing)

They say people love and choose to accept life while fear death because life is a beautiful lie while death is the painful truth. In theory that's true although death itself isn't painful, only the transition to it is which means it's actually life that's painful, you don't feel much of anything when you're dead...unless you're me. Loki was a beautiful master of lies himself but was accepted and loved by few, while I was a pain in the ass necromancer that ruled the dead, so in a way we were stark opposites, our magic/power cancelled each other out in a way. We did have a few things in common though, betrayed by our own people, demi-gods, a fondness for daggers. I sometimes wondered just what he saw in me though, a quiet tall, ever observing man like himself going for the unquiet undead zombie queen. It couldn't just be the great sex or what we have in common though. He seemed far too clever to go for that alone. Then I wondered what his reaction would be when he really sees what I am, what I can do. Would he be afraid, intrigued? He rarely showed any fear, curiosity definitely, and caution, but he was probably trained his whole life to never show fear or weakness no matter what he was faced with.

I studied his face when he thought I wasn't looking while we stood in the park and enjoyed the tranquility. He told me stories of Asgard, the golden city, the glorious realm, things he missed terribly that unfortunately my realm couldn't compare. He spoke of other realms his brother, their friends, and he were sent "to keep the peace" which really meant beat the living shit out of till they surrendered and followed Odin's rule. The more he spoke of his past, the more I came to see just how and why he loathed his father so much, the guy, god or not, was a massive bully and I hated those cretins.

"Thor says its not a place but a people and the people there sound like they royally suck, pun intended, so if you think about it, Asgard wasn't really your home if you didn't feel all that welcomed there. Home is where the cuddles are."

"Are you trying to convince me you're my home now?" he asked in amusement.

"Is it working?" I replied hopefully.

He paused during our stroll and opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out as his expression of mirth turned to caution. "Do you hear that?"

I blinked and listened and if I could feel the cold again, I'd probably have goosebumbs, there wasn't a sound in the park, no bird, no barks of dogs being walked, no people talking or leaves rustling. "My zombie senses are tingling." Utter silence was completely unnatural, even when there wasn't a soul in sight.

Loki must have sensed something because he suddenly spun around, his back to me and seemed to use himself as a shield once more before his body went rigid then twitchy in front of me as he fell. I dropped to my knees by his side, his veins bulging, his face contorting in agony and I saw something small and metallic attached to his neck and put two and two together.

"The voltage will go up before you can touch it," a new voice warned me.

I didn't move from where I knelt but narrowed my eyes and looked for the owner of the voice that jumped from a tree to the ground. A hydra agent judging by the symbol on his otherwise blank black uniform. Others appeared from their own hiding spot.

"Do as I say and his blood won't boil and fry him alive from the electrical shocks."

My eyes went to Loki's though rage boiled my own blood at a bunch of asshats knocking down my god so easily. He couldn't even nod let alone talk but his eyes seemed to say enough to make me do as they said. I looked back to the man with the machine gun and narrowed my eyes.

"Stand up slowly, hands where we can see them and don't move unless we tell you. Boys, search her for any arcane weaponry."

I did as commanded and stood up and was immediately surrounded and padded down for anything which I almost found amusing as I was the weapon, why would I carry more?

"Nothing, sir," one reported.

I smirked at this, not taking my eyes off the commander who glared hard at me. He walked over to me, probably thinking he was safe if I was unarmed, and grabbed me by the throat.

"Tell me where they are or I'll crush your windpipe."

"You know what I'm not doing? I'm not using my windpipe," I hissed. "What is dead can never die."

He squeezed harder before letting go but didn't back down. "Lock em both up separately, if I can't break you, I'll break him and make you watch. Make sure they're not being watched either, we wouldn't want to have a tail."

They cuffed Loki from where he lay stiff on the ground and muzzled him as well like they had with me, then turned down the metal patch on his neck so he could at least stand for himself before forcing him away from me as I let myself be cuffed as well though they didn't bother with the muzzle on me this time, I was already too pissed for words anyway. We were led to a super shady looking armored truck, the commander sitting across from me, hands not leaving his firearm.

"They told me you couldn't be broken, they showed me recordings of what they tried on you and how you'd just smile or mock them when they stuck you full of blades and experiments."

"I've been told they tried that on me for five years...you know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Your scientists are actually legit mad, not just evil, have fun with that."

"Oh don't worry about that, if we can't do it to you, we'll do it to someone less immune to our methods." He glanced over at the silently fuming god at the other end of the truck.

"You think this is the first time someone I love has been used against me that I'd just roll with your punches?" I asked incredulously. "Or is it because you people are terrible at judgments of character that think I've been alone till him? Did the ones you roped into your mess tell you about me? I mean really tell you about me? Did they explain why I don't feel physical pain? Why I can't be killed? Or are you the type to just go in guns blazing and skip the questions entirely till someone drops dead?"

"They told me enough."

"If that were true, you wouldn't be doing this, you'd drop this entire mission of yours and leave the necromancy to the few of us left that haven't changed sides. Because if you did know enough about me...you'd run and you'd sleep with one eye opened till I drag your soul to hell and use your empty skull for a cereal bowl."

"You really think that will scare me?"

"I work at a screampark, I know full well what makes even the toughest soldiers tremble, if you break him, you're next."

"You're in no position to threaten me."

"You sure? The way I see it, you need me more than I need you. You think by torturing him that I'll comply when you're only really giving me that much more reason to tear you apart, your actions are the tinder on which you burn. Then again by killing the others and attempting to break me before this, you got my attention so either way you're still fucked. I'm in every position to threaten you and so much more."

The truck stopped before he could retort and we could hear even more soldiers coming to the truck, no doubt to make sure we don't do anything against them or escape. We were led out and Loki was steered away from me and my line of sight while the commander and his team led me in the opposite direction elsewhere into the building that looked perfectly normal, nothing fancy, nothing suspicious, didn't even look abandoned like some hideouts were, people in business suits and briefcases were coming and going while I was being led in by the team. As I was being walked down to the basement I spotted another traitor I knew personally and stopped suddenly, not caring that I was completely surrounded and tapped on the glass wall separating him and the people he was working with from me. He turned around and went pale while I grinned maniacally. "Hiya Georgie!" I then let the team drag me away, I had left my mark on him, he knew what would happen the second I got free and found him. I was led to a large control type room with giant glass container filling up about half of it, a control panel on one side most likely for whatever's being contained. A middle aged man with scars distorting his face wearing an expensive business suit stood at the center of the room along with two scientists in lab coats and clipboards. He turned when he heard me walk in with the team and set his sights on me before glancing at the commander.

"Ah good, you caught her again, let's hope we have better luck and results this time around. My name is Dr. Feist, I'm the head of this operation and you are Noelle, are you not? The infamous necromancer that leveled an entire building without needing any explosives."

"And yet you thought it smart to bring me into another building?" I questioned.

"Well yes, we couldn't do any of this out in the open where we can be repeatedly interrupted by your new friends and if you try anything we don't want you to do well..." he snapped his fingers and the door to the glass cell opened up and Loki was suddenly thrown into it, the door sealing shut behind him as he got to his feet and bright abnormal looking lights clicked on in the cell.

I glanced at the panel controlling the room and back at Loki as he looked around attempting to get a bearing on his surroundings while the lights got brighter and I suddenly realized what was going on as he seemed to almost wilt where he stood before sitting down on the built in bench. They essentially put him into a small greenhouse, melting the Frost Giant.

"How long do you think he'll last in there?" Feist continued. "His people couldn't survive outside their own frozen planet without the casket of ancient winters I'm told."

My eyes didn't leave Loki as his normally stiff, proper posture seemed to deflate with the rising heat in the room, he looked tired, worn down, like it was a struggle just to sit and stay awake for him. "What do you want?"

"Every necromancer carries a blade and a stone, where are yours?"

"They already searched me, but you'll have to take me out to dinner before you can strip me yourself."

"Then where if not on your person?"

"Where only I alone can get to it, but I'm sure you already know what happens when someone not marked tries to play with things that aren't theirs."

"Clever lady. You're right, we can't touch them, that's why we brought in people who can."

I snickered at this. "The others you either bribed or threatened to join forces with? Let them try."

"Well since you don't have those things we were hoping for, we'll find other uses for you while we have you. Put her in the other holding cell for now while we dig deeper."

I was led away from the controls and down to the level where Loki was kept to another cell but before they could shove me in, I bolted to Loki's desperately and pressed my hands against the glass between us. He saw me despite the heavy eyelids and it damn near broke my heart seeing him look so weak as he held a hand up to match mine against the glass. Our eyes met once more before I was forced away and locked in.

#loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki romance #avengers #hydra #necromancer #necromancy #nell the necromancer #loki x OC #loki x original female character #loki x nell

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