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shwarmii · 9 months

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how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

#shwarmi #me #disenchanted if #disenchanted #luci rivera #edit: ngl the Cardlin video (or however you spell his name) swuicks me out a bit bc he says ''[I miss] Your body..'' and i went #EW UGH GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME but it was two words so ill allow it to stay on the list bc not everybody is so anti towards the #idea of other people seeing them as sexy. gahh i hate being seen as sexually appealing. makes me wanna gag ugh #*squicks

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tansybengsch · 5 months

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ok so I think ima actually explain all my pjmasks gacha remakes so yeah LESSGOO

first up carlyyy!!

-She has headphones as you notice. I added them since I thought "Hey if cartoka wanted to tell Carly something from the other room bro can just talk into bros mic and Carly would hear it" besides that I also think shed listen to music while driving around for fun. (These headphones are also used when Carly and cartoka troll kids in roblox)

-I'd like to think when Carly found out abt race car drivers on earth she saw that for some reason a bunch of them wore scarfs (pretty sure they dominated scarfs its a universal rule that all racers must have atleast 1 scarf at this point) so she stole one for herself (Pop off I guess!!??!!???!)

-the glasses were a gift from octobella for her birthday. (She wears them to sleep too)

-AS YOU CAN SEE SHE HAS AN EYEBROW PEIRCING. YOU CANNOT EVER CONVINCE ME THAT HER CANNON SELF WOULDNT WANT PEIRCINGS. I STAND BY THIS.

-that bandage on her leg is not just for fasion purposes but also protection for a recent injury that she got while driving and accidentally crashing (Cartoka tried getting her to put the damn bandage on but she was kicking, screaming, fighting for her life since she didn't want to put it on. Cartoka was so tired he just tied the bandage over her pants 😭)

And that's it for Carly! If u got any questions for her design just ask

Next up is the icon, the legend, the moment, the queen herself. Octobella 😍😍

-I gave her double ears cuz HELLOOOO she's literally a fish (well she's an octopus but still) HER EARS LOOKING LIKE FINS IS SUCH A VIBE.

-Id like to think she's really crafty (POP OFF QUEEN 🥰🥰😍😍) SO all her clothes are made from stuff she found while searching around in her moat or stuff she stole.

-OK SO U SEE THE BACK PART OF HER HAIR?? My headcannon is she has hydrokenisis!! This is a useful skill when it comes to fighting but alsooo she uses it to make her hair (Or tentacles) to look more fluffy and fuller (MERFOLK BEAUTY HACK FR 🥰🥰😍😍‼️‼️🙏🙏)

-"WHY DOES SHE HAVE LEGS??" Glad u asked. Remember that episode where octobella changed herself into gekko? Yeah I'd like to think she has multiple forms she uses to make her life easier. This is one of them!! This is her half human half octopus form!!

-The stars on her hair?? Dead star fishes 🥰

-that yellow thing on her head?? Coral she kept alive w magic

-the crown??? Thats a necklace she made that she kinda didn't like as a necklace so she's wearing it as a drooping crown.

And that's it for my girl bells!! If u have any questions let me know.

MY NEWEST CREATION GEKKO!! OK LESSGO

-First off the clips in his hair all have a specific reason of being like that

-the sun flower is bc he likes gardening

-the cat one was a gift from catboy

-and the pumpkin is to remind him of the pumpkins he raised that orticia took 🥰

-as a dancer myself (I'm a ballet dancer) we wear legwarmers so our legs don't get cramps AND LOOK AT THAT GEKKO IS ALSO A DANCER SO THAT GIVES ME AN EXCUSE TO ADD LEGWARMERS.

-he got sick of only the color green so he dyed some parts of his hero costume (He kinda regrets it)

He has a hood to cover his identity instead of a mask now!! (This is bc I genuinely start tweaking when I can't give a character eyebags and adding a mask would equal no eyebags so ☠️)

AND THATS IT FOR GEKKO IF U HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS ABT HIS DESIGN ASK AWAYY

#pj masks #pjm headcannons #octobella #gekko #pj masks carly #gacha life 2 #Silly silly silly #Why does Carly in everyone's headcannons always act like a gremlin?

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 3 months

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By: River Page

Published: Feb 2, 2024

"Companies also cannot take race-motivated actions to maintain a demographically 'balanced' workforce." — Commissioner at Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Andrea R. Lucas in Reuters, June 29, 2023

"An unlawful employment practice is established when the complaining party demonstrates that race, color, religion, sex, or national origin was a motivating factor for any employment practice, even though other factors also motivated the practice." — 42 USC § 2000e–2(m) of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964

---

In the wake of the George Floyd protests, tech companies promised to hire more minorities. One company that claims to help them do it is Gem, and although you might not have heard of it, you’ve probably heard of some of its 1,200-plus clients: Reddit, Dropbox, Robinhood, Discord, Zillow, Stripe, Affirm, and Grammarly, just to name a few. Although Gem’s software is primarily used for things like non-race- and gender-based recruiting, payroll, and benefits management, John, (not his real name) — who worked for Gem as a sales development representative through a B2B outsourcing firm from March to July of 2021, told us that the prospective corporate clients he talked to were most interested in Gem’s “diversity enhancing” capabilities. Essentially, they had race- and gender-based hiring quotas and wanted to use Gem’s software to meet them. He said one prospective client, an executive at the Bay Area-based AI and robotics research arm of one of the world’s leading car manufacturers, told him explicitly: “I need more black candidates this month.”

According to its website, Gem’s software allows recruiters to track “gender and race/ethnicity throughout the entire hiring funnel.” Essentially, it appears to include a comprehensive race and gender tracking system designed to help companies fill race- and gender-based quotas with precision. For example, in a 2021 diversity webinar posted on YouTube, a Gem employee seemed to explain how the software could show how many candidates a company would need to reach out to if it had three engineering positions open, but didn’t want to hire men for them (in her words: “wanted to give women a chance”). In the same video, she demonstrated how to break down each stage in the hiring funnel by race, and explained (but did not show, probably for privacy reasons) how companies could further track how their recruiters’ own efforts break down along the lines of the company’s race- and gender-based hiring quotas, so that the company may “hold them accountable.”

[ Screen capture from Gem’s diversity webinar ]

All this requires a lot of data. According to a recent LinkedIn post by Gem founder Steve Bartel, this data can come from three sources:

Self-ID: the demographic data collection on job applications

Manual override: the recruiter reports your race and gender based on visual cues such as your LinkedIn profile picture

Predicted: Gem’s proprietary AI determines a candidate's race and gender based on machine learning (Bartel notes this is only for aggregate/anonymized use, meaning that the UI doesn’t allow recruiters to see which race was assigned to individual candidates)

John told me that, of Gem’s features, its race- and gender-identifying AI was the biggest selling point. “A key part of the pitch was to tell clients that Gem uses AI and machine learning to determine race and gender.” (This is especially ironic, given the panic about “racist AI” that has consumed every discussion about artificial intelligence for years.)

“One thing that cracked me up was that recruiting/DEI buyers at companies would ask, ‘Is this legal?’” John told me. “Not because they were offended by how obviously racist the software was — they loved what they saw. The concern was pushback from their legal team.” He said this question was asked so frequently that Gem’s Chief Legal Counsel had a prewritten response to the question that would be passed along to clients who asked.

[ Source: Gem’s website, February 1, 2024 ]

The "Diversity Recruiting" section of Gem’s website offers a slate of what it calls “Case Studies” — essentially customer testimonials — where companies explain how they used Gem to hire based on race and gender.

In a case study for payroll firm Gusto, Gem seems to indicate the company used its “Candidate Rediscovery” tool to hire based on candidates’ race and gender. In Gem’s language, Gusto used the tool to “unearth talent who is vetted — and diverse — ultimately reducing time-to-hire.” In other words, companies could use Gem’s software to find people with specific racial and gender-based characteristics that meet the position’s requirements and hire them quickly, while weeding out similarly qualified candidates who are, presumably, white or male or both.

In a case study about the telecommunications company Twilio, Gem seems to describe how one of its senior recruiters was able to avoid hiring men with their tool:

Gem’s metrics have also helped [the recruiter] zero in on stages in the interview process where the team is falling short on equitable gender hiring. “For one division, we intuited that we were hiring more women than the average team—and we were! We were prepared to roll off our passive sourcing efforts for that division, but I don’t like to make a move without looking at all the data first. That’s where Gem came through.” [The recruiter] dug through the data in more detail and discovered that the proportion of male candidates was actually increasing quarter over quarter—so much so that, by Q3, they would have made significantly more male than female hires. “If we hadn’t had access to that data, we wouldn’t have been able to identify that trend and strategize on how to allocate our resources properly.”

This is easily interpretable as: We thought everything was fine until Gem showed us that by Q3 we might hire a disproportionate number of men in a division that a disproportionate number of men applied to work in. It's worth noting that when announcing massive job cuts in 2022, Twilio’s CEO bragged that the layoffs had been carried out through an “Anti-Racist/Anti-Oppression lens.”

In another testimonial from Chili Piper, an inbound conversion platform for B2B revenue teams, the company’s Talent Ops Manager says she used Gem to discover that URG (under-represented group) candidates were dropping off after the company stopped including a video submission in the application (itself seeming to indicate that a significant proportion “URGs” were being advanced through the hiring pipeline because of their race or gender). She successfully lobbied to bring the video submission back and modified the assignment. “Now it’s like, sell us a new smartphone: something that really levels the playing field and lets us see candidates’ creativity, communication, and approach in action. It’s not necessarily entrenched in experience in tech and SaaS sales.” Since then, the company has “seen a decisive shift in the demographics of candidates who make it to the interview stage of our process. We have seen a 54% increase in URG candidates and a 31% increase in female-identified candidates making it to the first round of interviews. Offers extended to, and offers accepted by URGs have increased.”

In other words, Chili Piper's testimonial seems to indicate that Gem showed the company that when it stopped asking applicants to submit a video that allowed them to see their race and gender, they stopped hiring more minorities. So they brought video back, and seemed to effectively lower their standards by changing the assignment to one in which industry experience was deprioritized.

Gem’s own hiring practices also raise red flags. An internal jobs board from June 2021 provided to Pirate Wires shows that under a field titled “Diversity Search,” positions are either listed as “Open,” “Women,” “URM,” or “Women & URM,” suggesting that certain positions were closed off to straight white males, or perhaps that women and minorities were being sought after in those positions. We sent the screenshot of the internal job board — with company name and other identifying information redacted — to a tech industry employment lawyer, who said:

Without knowing more about the company or getting clarification on what some of the designations mean on the chart, it looks a bit problematic. The law allows companies to set “targets” and “goals” as they relate to the hiring, retention, and promotion of women, veterans, and underrepresented minorities (those targets/goals must be temporary). But the law does not currently allow private companies to set aside or otherwise designate specific positions for such group members. There are some grey areas for certain types of federal contractors, but it’s the exception to the rule.

As a non-lawyer, I’ll not comment on the legality of Gem’s hiring practices. However, I will say the company seems to use unorthodox recruiting methods. In Gem’s diversity webinar I referred to earlier, one of the hosts said, “Here at Gem, each time we open a new req [position], we actually focus solely on sourcing URGs, and in conjunction [with that] we don’t post the job on the career site until other levers need to be pulled…”

The host then explained how she found candidates of specific races and genders at Gem, telling the audience: “Sourcing for URGs may require you to shift some fundamental ideas you have about what a quote-unquote good candidate looks like.” Next, she described how she would go through LinkedIn, searching for candidates with stereotypically minority names, who use neo-pronouns, or who went to minority-majority schools, among other tactics.

[ Slide from Gem’s diversity webinar]

When asked for comment, a representative from GEM told us “Our product provides interested customers with insights that help them build a diverse talent pipeline. We work closely with legal counsel to ensure our platform complies with all applicable laws and welcome potential customers looking to learn more to reach out to us."

Gem: a company that apparently doesn’t post some job announcements publicly without searching for specific races and genders on LinkedIn first. A company whose value proposition is to help companies hold their recruiters “accountable” for hiring too many of the wrong race and gender. A company that created an AI that predicts your race and gender. A company whose AI tracks race throughout the hiring pipeline so efficiently that, allegedly, even woke companies question its legality during sales calls. Gem is the company that vast swaths of the tech industry are using to hire.

So if you’re in the business, and you’re a Derrick O’Donnell or a John Chau, good luck out there. I think you’re gonna need it.

[ Via: https://archive.md/gxFMK ]

DEI is discrimination.

#River Page #Gem Software #discrimination #racial discrimination #Title VII #Civil Rights Act #Civil Rights #DEI bureaucracy #diversity equity and inclusion #diversity #equity #inclusion #DEI must die #wokeness #woke #cult of woke #wokeism #wokeness as religion #religion is a mental illness

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charlie-artlie · 8 months

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opinions on cassidy five nights at freddies and the golden duo theory

anon do you realize you’ve asked me about my favorite topic?

TLDR, i dont like either of these theories! but i love talking about them, and if you WOULD like to read about it, i will ramble at length under the cut

so I’ve already spoken at length about my issues with the cassidy theory but here’s a quick rundown:

if shes real, she is one of the most important characters in the entire series and we know literally nothing about her. her name was gotten from a cypher in a word search, and her popular fanon design was just a random kid on the same page (or a different page that was also cassidy relevant? idk) (also also, i have seen a great theory that midnight motorist is actually about cassidy, and honestly id love it if that were true and this was hidden cassidy lore all along, but the character is only referred to with he/him pronouns, which leads to my next issue)

every character that refers to her uses male pronouns. the only argument i could see for this is retcon, because im not going to argue with people that republican scott cawthon made a character named cassidy with he/him pronouns. this would have to mean that sometime between the security log book and UCN scott changed cassidy into a completely new character, which to me, is a much bigger leap than the retcon from “SAVE HIM” to charlie, but, thats just me :/

her name was removed from princess quest, which signifies to me that she is not supposed to represent the princess in that game. steel wool has hidden lots of easter eggs and lore hints in the code, but to my knowledge the only one they’ve removed is the princesses name as cassidy (renaming her just ‘princess’ i believe). imo, it makes more sense if the princess represents vanessa, seeing as they follow the same path, both collect the vanny mask, both get trapped by glitchtrap, beating the game frees vanessa, etc etc etc

my honest opinion? everything she represents in the story would be better served to a pre-established character. i KNOW im biased as a charlie stan, but literally why isn’t TOYSNHK charlie? shes already established as having more control and awareness than the other spirits and likely was the only one who personally KNEW afton when she was alive, giving her even more motive to hate him. or even CC would make more sense! arguably the very first child to die to an animatronic, narratively, it’d make way more sense for it to be him. hes been stewing in agony and remnant for decades, seeing everything his father does, the one character who ACTUALLY has a connection to the golden freddy suit, and! now that we have a slightly more concrete answer to the fnaf 4 cameras from sister location, could actually be counted as one of his fathers victims!

okay, now with that out of the way, onto why i specifically dont like the golden duo theory, because, here’s the thing, even if I could accept cassidy as a Thing in the franchise (which i can! she’s been acknowledged by scott so I have to accept that shes at least real in some capacity [cassacity]) i STILL have issues with the golden duo theory for different reasons

the first and biggest reason is simply that CC is a hugely lore relevant character, who has an actual backstory, a tie to the main villain and the main protagonist (if you consider michael the protagonist, which i personally do), and makes narrative sense to possess golden freddy (the animatronic that killed him, not to mention his father possesses its counterpart, i mean come ON that is just a delicious parallel!!) cassidy, meanwhile, is a name you can find in a word search. and thats pretty much it. (not counting the yandere simulator chica mini game as actual cassidy lore. im literally just saying no. you cant make me.) im sorry, but it just cheapens CCs role in the story. there is literally no point in making him share golden freddy

its just not present in the games at all. there was every opportunity in UCN to hint/tease/confirm this but none of those things were done. the ONLY thing i’ll grant is that “The One You Should Not Have Killed” and “The Vengeful Spirit” COULD MAYBE be different characters, but why would they be? that sounds like two similar descriptions of the same character to me, personally.

the only evidence for it in the books is that, if you ALREADY believe that cassidy and CC are both possessing golden freddy, you can then reverse engineer that theory into “cassidy is TOYSNHK” by saying its a parallel to the stitchwraith plot line. feels more likely to me that TOYSNHK was originally just going to be andrew from the books? i just dont see how any of this actually ties to cassidy

the security log book. i hate the stupid security log book. everything in it is so arbitrary but its also the lynchpin for major fanon accepted theories. sorry but the “two spirits are talking to each other and also michael i guess” just doesnt hold water for me. why is the dialog on random pages out of order, and why does some of it not even line up with each other. the logbook honestly made more sense to me when the theory was bite victim=michael, the way it is now just seems like people deciding it means whatever they want it to mean

okay now this one is a little more nitpicky but im including it anyway (this is again more of problem with cassidy in general but stay with me) including cassidy in the missing children incident would mean we have five missing kids (cassidy, fritz, jeremy, gabriel, and susie), and then separate from that incident i guess, is charlie, and then also separate from that incident is CCs death, so seven dead kids in total (ignoring elizabeth since shes at SL, and also the “second missing children incident”, which is another theory i dislike but thats a rant for another anon messenger). with that math, that means someone HAS to be excluded from the fnaf 6 gravestone ending and i hate that. if cassidy is one of the missing children then shes the obscured gravestone, and then only charlie or CC could be the one in the distance, and excluding either of them feels wrong. CC is (arguably) the first kid to die in a freddys and (arguably….) what started everything happening, and charlie is the one to help the others possess the original suits. they are both more established characters than cassidy, who, again, we know nothing about.

all of that is to say this: if cassidy is a thing, why does she have to be in golden freddy? can i tell you what id prefer? what i think would be so much more narratively satisfying? what i lay awake at night staring without blinking up at the ceiling gritting my teeth wishing was real? i wish…cassidy was possessing freddy. freddy, og brown freddy, is the face of the franchise, and has literally zero lore significance. the only reason we know who possess him is from inference from the fnaf 6 gravestone pic lining up with the fnaf 3 ending head placement (does this sentence make any sense? can anyone hear me?) if cassidy is freddy, then charlie is the fifth missing child (i see no reason why she couldn’t be, theres nothing to indicate that the kids all died on the exact same day) and CC is golden freddy and the narrative is satisfying. cassidy can still be important, can even still be TOYSNHK for all i care, and CC can continue to writhe around in golden freddy in the 5020 ending.

deep weary sigh. i think…. thats actually all i have to say on the subject. if you’ve read this far thanks and also sorry. i just wanna cap this off by saying im not mad at anyone who likes cassidy theory or likes cassidy as a character, i have absolutely no problem with any of that! my problem is entirely with scott, who has just dropped this deus ex machina william-afton-seeking-missile on the table in front of us and refused to elaborate.

#charlie chatterbox #anon how could you do this to me #i had things to do tonight……….#im joking but im actually thrilled #not an exaggeration this is my favorite topic #fnaf theories in general are my favorite and this one really does keep my up at night #cuz like….as much as i hate it and dont think it makes sense #there isn’t really a better explanation?? except andrew theory but thats almost more unstatifying lmao #fnaf #fnaf neg #what’s the tag this has gotta be a tag

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slothcapsule · 2 years

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Kaeya's design

as a kaeya enthusiast and lover, i spend an ungodly (haha) amount of time looking at him so here are some things about his design that others and i have noticed! its gonna be a long post so sorry about that

starting off by saying that kaeya's design mostly consists of "two sides" in a way, his mondstat side and his khaenri'ah side.

his mondstat side includes his vision, the full side of his cape in the back, the earring he wears. the khaenri'ah side includes his eyepatch, the wisp of lighter hair in his bang, a clipped cape ("wing") and the majority of the fur coating. all across his design there a bunch of those stars we see associated with khaenri'ah, one being in his pupil which was a confirmed trait to khaenri'ahn people ever since we saw dainsleif.

(i need it to be noted to kaeya's eyepatch is stressed on a lot in game, its constantly referred back to most of the time when kaeya is brought up, he has a voiceline about it, traveler has a voiceline about it, its mentioned right when we start the quest with dainsleif, and its related back to fischl so. do with that what you will, he's also the only one from the eyepatched characters that wears it on the right side other than signora but fatui and khaenri'ah is an entirely different topic, but we do know khaenriah loves the entire one eye thing)

kaeya shares a lot of overall similarities with cryo abyss mages, mostly in playstyle but appearance as well, most notably the fur coat he keeps thrown over his shoulder, the "bunny ears" in his hair (ahoge?) and his boots. (in playstyle he's similar in the sense that he teleports on his fifth attack, his ult is similar to the icicles they produce after their shield is broken, he produces his own shield at c4 etc etc)

i saw someone point this out on reddit but i cant find because it was a while ago but regardless, they brought up his boob window in his design and how it can be perfectly covered up by the symbol abyss heralds and khaenri'ahn soldiers have on their chests.

which is sort of interesting because we know abyss creatures we fight are cursed khaenriahn people, but also, kaeya is seemingly unaffected by the curse. for those who dont know when khaenri'ah was destroyed in the cataclysm its citizens were cursed to immortality and went through various transformations, yet kaeya seems unaffected because he continued to age "normally" (as normal as someone born supposedly 500 years ago can age)

in the chasm quest dainsleif mentions the existing of a device that apparently keeps him from transforming into something else, (i can find a screenshot of the voice line if someone asks) but doesn't help with the immortality issue. there's a lot we don't know regarding that entire situation but i hope to get crumbs in 2.8 since we're getting mona + diluc content

speaking of dainsleif, today there was a certain story teaser that was dropped and id be a fool not to mention the clear connection between pierro, the first fatui harbinger known as the jester and our beloved kaeya. this is him for reference

pierro shares a few attributes with kaeya that are most certainly worth mentioning. the way that the lightning portrays pierro here sort of covers the right side of his fur cape and only leaves one fully showing, similar to kaeya's one-shoulder fur cape. upon a closer look there is a star pupil in his eyes which as we know is a khaenri'ahn thing, the reason i mentioned dainsleif was because his mask vaguely resembles his. one of his eyes is covered like kaeya's, he has an opening in his shirt on his chest in a heart shape that's come to a close at the top by some type of crystal similar to the ones kaeya has littered all over his outfit.

they both share a blue crystal earring and eye shape, pierro has the long star littered over his design as well, and there is a tuft of blue/dark hair in pierro's just like kaeya has a strand of silver. they also share a similar jacket design, which is more of a fatui thing in general but still should be mentioned.

and regarding the silver hair in kaeya, i find it worthy to note that in his splash art and in the manga, he's missing the strand of hair over his left ear. it might be just because they simply forgot to add it because it is rather small, or the silver in his hair is expanding to other places.

(drawing attention to one of his voice lines,, when we asked about his eyepatch kaeya says he inherited it from his grandfather, similarly to how kids inherit hairstyles from parents.. do with that what you will)

one thing i want to note though is his cape, the full one. if you look at it you might think it looks vaguely familiar, wanna know why?

(a lot of people theorize the log in screen is celestia, and that the nails in dragonspine and now the chasm are fallen pillars from there) for someone from a godless nation its sort of weird that he seems to have that connection to something seemingly celestial huh? and you might think but his cape only has three of those wings, the nails and statues have 6!!! well wrong! kaeyas cape is double sided so he does, in fact, have 6.

(someone in reblogs reminded me its also on the statues of the seven after you upgrade which is right and where i actually first noticed it LMAO but you get the gist, celestial design)

i think its also worth to note that paimon shares that in her design, as well as the star. im going to leave the theories about this for later

this is all i can come up with at the moment, im sure there's more than im missing but this is solely for his physical design, theories will come later because im always thinking about him (im personally a supporter of the prince kaeya theory even though i think like abyss herald or mage is more realistic LMAO but a person can dream)

EDIT: I FORGOT HIS VISION IM SO SORRY

this is the back of kaeya's vision, the only notable things are the lack of a third wing probably signifying he's sort of out of place, and the swirl? wave? whatever you wanna call it is on the wrong side. every other character with a double sided vision has the swirl on the other side like jean, diluc, mona, eula, lisa (etc..? i havent seen anyone else with a double sided vision which is also interesting, at least from mond)

here's diluc's vision for comparison (also backside)

#i wanted to add the unknown god about the star #but that just opens up a black hole of things so im leaving it #for now #anyway kaeya sexy man brr #i like his design a lot #kaeya #kaeya alberich #prince kaeya #kaeya theories #ish #genshin impact #kaeya lore #khaenri'ah #dainsleif #mona magistus #diluc #mondstat #paimon #kaeya's eyepatch #i can make an entire seperate post about kaeya's eyepatch from how much its mentioned #ill probably make another post later including his everything else #namecard and constellation specifically #kaeya's vision #pierro #fatui harbringers #celestia #i think its likely that pierro is kaeyas dad #solid theory that was already brought up before but now with pierro's official design its sorta yk #has a looot more basis and it makes sense #why diluc was so riled up about kaeya being a khaenriahn spy when in reality he told him hes part of the organization that killed his dad L

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zaraomarrogers · 2 years

Text

Always and Forever - 5

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, sexual content, 18+, minors do not interact

~*~

The moment Steve got into his hotel room his phone went off. He groaned seeing the caller ID.

“What is it Tony?” Steve wasn’t in a mood for Tony’s late night chitter chatter. Few rounds of beer with Bucky got him slightly drunk and he knew Tony would drain his remaining little energy with gossips.

“Who bit you Rogers? Why the sour mood?” Tony teased, earning another groan from Steve.

“What made you call me at...” Steve checked the time on his wrist watch, “11:15 pm? Did Pepper ignore you again?”

“Nope!!” Tony said popping the ‘p' and continued. “Actually, she called me this morning. She sounded so pissed because she was expecting me there, not you.”

“Fucking finally!!” Steve muttered.

“Language, Rogers!”

“Really Tony! You missed the event when you could have come, you had a free weekend”

“Calm down Rogers! You did a favour and I’d be grateful like all the other times you’d been there for me and this company.” Tony said in one breath and continued, “Its not about me attending the event, I called you for something else.”

“Judging by your tone, it’s another favour, isn’t it?” Steve laid down on bed, adjusting his head on the pillows.

“I swear I would have kissed you, Rogers, ofcourse if you were here but since you’re not I can send you some...” Tony turned the camera on on his phone, bring it near his lips and with horrible sound of muahh, he kissed the camera.

“... virtual kiss, if that works for you, bro.” Steve rolled his eyes at Tony’s cheekiness.

“What’s the favour, Tony?” he came straight to the point.

“So, I’ve heard the show was a great success. Y/n Carter was the highlight of the show not in only in terms of managing and arranging the whole event but as a show stopper for the designer.” Steve’s heart skipped a beat on Y/n’s mention. He sat up, “...her work was outstanding and different fashion outlets are approaching her.... but Pepper doesn’t wana lose her...” Steve took a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “.... She’s one of the Pepper's most trusted employees and also her friend. The only problem is, some rivals are peeking their heads up after the success and the fact that Pepper has already lost her employees on big positions for obvious reasons and now she needs someone to make the company stable.” Tony was now contemplating his next words.

“What do you want me to do Tony?” Steve was curious to know where this conversation was heading.

“She asked for my help and I couldn’t have said no, Steve. I assured her that you’ll help her out with the company. You have experience, you’re smart and knows exactly what it takes to keep it firm on its feet....”

Whatever Tony had said wasn’t hard to comprehend but Steve was stunned. If what Tony had just told him meant he could stay here and it would give him opportunity to be in Malcolm’s life. He wanted to thank the universe to give him this chance to be with his son.

He had planned to call Tony in the morning to ask for some days off of work but this new opportunity of working in the same place as Y/n would may be fix something between them. He was hopeful. He was happy.

“STEEEEVE?? Are you even listening?”

“I’d stay.” Steve said.

“Pardon.”

“I said I’m going to stay and help Pepper and the company.” Steve said.

“Are you sure? I mean you’re not angry or something? I could’ve asked....”

“Its fine Tony! Just send me all the details and I’d fix a meeting with Pepper first thing.” All of a sudden Steve found a new purpose.

“Sure man! Thanks again. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Tony said gratefully.

“Don’t repeat yourself Tony, I was ignoring you the first time.” Steve smirked, disconnecting the line.

Steve was contented that his stay in Boston had been sorted out, only thing bothering him was his insignificant relationship with Peggy. He wanted to end things on phone, sure it’d be an asshole thing to do but did he care less.

No matter how much he thought would it be justified, he couldn’t do it. Sarah had raised him better. He smiled thinking about telling his Ma about little Malcolm. He’d call her first thing in the morning, he made a mental note. It had been just a day he had known about Malcolm’s existence and it brought him so much happiness. His little boy was hard copy of him but he got all his traits from his mama.

Steve chuckled looking at the photos he had taken of his son during the day. A photo of him and Malcolm in the backyard taken by Bucky. Malcolm was clung onto his shoulders and laughing adorably. A video of them playing with a ball and Malcolm’s yelling I wuv you daddy loud and clear in it. He was already missing his little bean, his purpose of living now.

Steve wanted to thank Y/n. He wanted to tell her how grateful he was of her. She had let Malcolm known about him even when he wasn’t in their life. Steve would forever be in debt of her and she had raised their kid as a working single mother. He had never thought that there come a time when Y/n and him would act as strangers especially Y/n. He was unable to find any sort of emotion in her eyes. She was distant like she didn’t know him. Like they didn’t have anything she could remember. He remembered her throwing the coffee he brought for her in the bin. He knew he had hurt her in worst possible way but he didn’t know how to tell her that he was sorry. He was sorry because he didn’t make an effort to find her, to go after her. He was so embarrassed. He was so disgusted by himself that he thought not showing his face again would be the best thing he could do for her. He thought he was punishing himself, he deserved this punishment but what he didn’t know was things would be so much different for Y/n and for him if he showed up. If he went after her.

He had fucked up!

~*~

Incessant buzzing of Steve’s phone on the night stand stirred him in deep sleep. He pressed the slide to answer the call and immediately a wide grin adorned his godly features.

“Daddy? Where you? Call many times, no pick.” Malcolm chirped in his sweet voice.

“Good Morning, buddy! Sorry I was asleep. I have just woken up.” Steve said through smile. He heard Mal talking to Y/n, he was asking her to open the video. Steve sat up a little in bed, leaned against the headrest. He finger combed his hair and turned the video on. Malcolm was sitting in Y/n’s lap in the kitchen. Steve felt his swollen with happiness at the sight of mama and baby. Y/n’s hand was wrapped Mal for support. The little boy was obviously excited and energetic.

“Aww daddy in bed.” Malcolm giggled. Steve couldn’t help but stare at Y/n. Her hair were in pony tail. She was wearing a white t-shirt and her face had no sign of makeup. Steve forgot to take a breath.

“When see you daddy? I go pawk with mama. Pwease come.”

“I’d love that, buddy. But we need to ask mama if I can come along.” Steve could see how Y/n was looking anywhere but at the camera. She was clearly uncomfortable.

“Mama, can daddy come, pwease?”

“Yes, he can come.” Y/n said lightly. She kissed the side of Malcolm’s head.

“We go to the park every Sunday. You must have passed it yesterday while coming over, its right across the street.” She told Steve still avoiding the eye contact.

“Yeah! I’d be there in thirty minutes? Is that okay?”

“How thiwty minutes mama?” Malcolm asked now bouncing on his mama’s lap with excitement.

“Thirty minutes means half an hour. Daddy will be here in half an hour.” Y/n explained.

“Too much time, daddy. Come soon.” Malcolm whined.

“Okay I’d try my best to come before thirty minutes Mal.”

“Mal-pal, daddy needs to get ready and drive to the park. It will take at least thirty minute, sweetheart. How about we go to park and play on slides and daddy will join us.” Y/n reasoned with him.

“Okay mama.” Malcolm pouted and Y/n kissed him on the head again.

“Daddy, you pway on monkey baw with me. You howd me up up and more up and I jump. Okay daddy?” Malcolm asked Steve excitedly.

“Sure buddy. We’ll play whatever you pick.”

“Yaayyyyy daaaddyyy wuv you.” Malcolm screamed in pure joy and kissed his mama’s face.

“I love you too Mal.” Steve whispered. He didn’t know if Malcolm had heard him but Y/n looked at him first time in this video call. Steve couldn’t read her expression because she was quick to look away.

“Daddy wuv me, mama.” Malcolm confirmed.

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Hey buddy, you want me to bring anything for you?” Steve asked not wanting to break the lovely moment between Y/n and Malcolm.

“What anything daddy?” He asked innocently.

“Like something to eat. Doughnuts, pie, cookies, anything you say....”

Malcolm turned to see Y/n, his way of asking permission. Y/n smiled at him lovingly and reminded him that he had already taken breakfast.

“I eaten bweakfast al’eady, daddy. I no want anything.”

“Ohh no! Then daddy will come with coffee for him and mama. Is that okay?.”

“Is okay mama? Daddy bwing coffee fow you.”

“I have already had my coffee. No need to bring anything. C'mon Mal-pal, we gotta go to park or we’ll be late.”

“Okay mama. Daddy come soon pwease.” Malcolm said and send a flying kiss to Steve with a bye bye and disconnected the call once Steve assured him that he’d be there in thirty minutes.

~*~

“I’ve been meaning to speak with you.” Y/n initiated when Steve came to sit beside her on the bench, dusting off the mud from his shirt.

Malcolm was playing with other kids in the park. As promised, Steve had arrived at the park when Malcolm was on the slides. Once he saw his daddy, he ran to him and into his arms. Steve helped him climbing up the monkey bars. He told him a story of his childhood days when his parents use to take him to parks and different other places. They both almost had rolled on the mud and grass laughing and enjoying.

Y/n watched Malcolm having fun with Steve, something shift in her heart. She always wanted Malcolm to know his father and just be able to be with him. No matter how angry she was at Steve, she realised she’d do anything and everything to see her baby laugh and smile, just the way they were right now. It was her and Malcolm’s Sunday routine. They’d walk down the park after breakfast and spend an hour together, it was also unwinding for her.

“Go ahead, what is it you want to talk about?” Steve said softly, his tone still the same with her as it was four years ago. His eyes still held the same love and adoration for her.

“I need to make sure if you’re going to be in Malcolm’s life or it is just as coincidental as it seems.” Y/n’s eyes were on Malcolm, she could see him sliding down the slide with other kids.

“I want to stay. In fact, I’m staying and I’d make sure that I’d be in his life permanently.” He gently told her while trying to read her blank face.

“.... if I had known about him, I would be here from the beginning. Y/n/n, I know I’ve fucked up.....”

“That’s Y/n for you.” She harshly cut him off. “You’d be on Malcolm’s schedule if you are to stay here. I’ll send you his routine and then you can have your time with him.” Steve gulped hard, he didn’t want to show her how much he was hurting.

“Mal hasn’t started school, he goes to Alice’s day care. I don’t know if you remember, Alice runs a day care and I put Mal in there because I’m working full time, besides he’d be with Alice. I pick him up at around three in the afternoon and bring him to my work place. My boss's daughter and him are good friends and we have a small setup for both of them to play within the premises.” She gave him a heads up of Malcolm’s routine.

“If he’s spending rest of his time at your work then I get to meet him as well, daily.” A smile appeared on Steve’s face.

Y/n gave him a confused look.

“Tony asked me to help Pepper with the company.” He further explained, “I work at Stark Industries. I’m leading marketing department as their executive....” Y/n looked at him with wide eyes. She didn’t know what had possessed her heart was filled with so much happiness for him. Steve always wanted to be a part of Stark industries. It was his dream job and she felt so proud of him regardless of how things are between them right now.

“Congratulations!” She said in a small voice. “.... I mean... it’s where you always wanted to be.” She cleared her throat at sudden awkwardness.

“Thank you Y/n. I wish things....”

“So you’re taking over our marketing and advertising, I didn’t know Pepper’s gonna take a decision.” She said the latter in a whisper but Steve heard it.

“Pepper called Tony to discuss this and Tony put me in, since I was already here for the event.” Steve explained.

“Mhmm...”

“By the way, it was a great event. You did an outstanding job Y/n/n... I mean Y/n... it was splendid. I’m so proud of you.”

They both looked at each other at the same time, holding each other’s gaze, like in a trance. While Steve’s gaze held pure love and affection, her’s had melancholy and heartache but one thing that was common between them was longing, longing for each other, for the life they’d dreamed of together.

Neither of them noticed when Malcolm tripped over and fell. Time they had spent together was reeling in front of their eyes. Y/n wanted nothing but to be in his arms again. Her safe place. Her home.

Steve was no different, he desperately needed her in his arms. He wanted to spend rest of his life holding her tightly and cherish her with every breath he had.

Malcolm came to Y/n with a face as long as a fiddle, bringing his parents back to reality.

“Mama, I got a boo boo. You no see, why?” tears were about to spill from his eyes.

Y/n came to her senses and put him in her lap.

“I’m sorry Mal-pal. How’d you get this?” She inspected the tiny scraps on both his knees and smiled. Steve looked at Malcolm’s knees and heaved a sigh.

Malcolm didn’t answer her question, instead hid his face in her chest.

“Hey Buddy...” Steve started, he looked at Y/n for a go ahead signal and when she nodded at him, he continued. “.... Mama and I are sorry that we didn’t come to you. Because we know you’re a big boy now, and big boys don’t get upset with boo boo. Right Mama?”

“Yup! If we don’t get a boo boo, we won’t grow up Mal-pal. That’s how mama and daddy has become grown ups.”

Malcolm looked up at his mama first and then his daddy.

“I a big boy?” he asked curiously.

“Yes.” Steve and Y/n both said at the same time.

“.... and big boy gets to eat his favourite lunch.” Y/n suggested, “Dino nuggets and fries or veggie sandwich?”

Malcolm shook his head vigorously. “What daddy eat fow wunch, I eat same as daddy.”

“Daddy will have burger and fries. You want to have same lunch as daddy?” Steve said and earned a glare from Y/n.

“Yes! Mama buwge’ and fries, pwease.” Malcolm was excited.

“Mal-pal...”

“Pwease mama, pwease.”

“On one condition, you’re gonna have to eat your veggies in dinner. Promise?” Y/n hold out her hand.

“Pwomise mama.”

He jumped off her lap and onto Steve’s lap. “ ‘ets go, daddy.”

Steve roared with a laughter followed by Malcolm’s giggles. He stood up, Malcolm still clinging to him, “C'mon mama, we go with daddy.” Y/n shook her head disapprovingly.

She followed them towards Steve’s car. It wasn’t how she had thought it would go. She couldn’t break her little boy's heart but she needed to make him understand that he’d spend his time with his daddy separately. It was going to stir many questions in Malcolm’s mind and she was willing to answer all his questions.

She had a slip up just minutes ago, she couldn’t let Steve hold this much power over her again. She didn’t want to end up hurting again. She knew Steve had said that he would stay here but how could she trust him when he promised her that he would always come to find her and he didn’t. She desperately wanted to protect her child from the same heartache and feeling of abandonment she had went through.

Should she limit Steve’s time with Malcolm?

How about only on weekends?

Or may be at her house, in her supervision....??

She couldn’t decide. She couldn’t think of anything. She needed to ask her dad or may be Alice would help her. Oh, they definitely will. But she knew what’s best for her child, she didn’t need anyone’s help.

In her conflicting thoughts she didn't realise Steve had hold her hands while crossing the road.

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littlest-bugz · 2 months

Note

Hope it's okay to send this for the ask game! We've really enjoyed reading all your answers :)

🥀 + 📻

No worries! You can def send them in (and Im glad u enjoyed reading our answers :D I just figured everything was abysmally buried)

🥀 - do you keep track of your alter count? how do you do so?

So!! We use 3 different things for managing alter info, and then one separately. 📓 is our archivist and he is!! Bonkers /j.

First he uses simply plural for the custom field feature, and the layout of the app. He has a shit ton of custom fields put in for anything you can reasonably think of for an alter. Then, he uses Pluralkit because we have a system discord. Theres a template he made that we r going to upload soon. THEN in the system discord has an even longer version of the template he made (that cant be used in pk bc of the length). On top of it all, we have a notion journal with all the same shit + personal journals. Why did he do that to himself? /j lh/ No, but those are the three ways we manage to keep track of alters. Not all of them are uploaded, and furthermore, not all of them are uploaded in all of the places. We try to keep our simply plural for the bulk of it.

Other apps we use as a system that dont keep track of alters, but we find helpful regardless:

- Mindly: A mind mapping app that is pretty user friendly/easy to use. Not a super high learning curve imo, but it can be confusing upon initial use. If u are any flavor of polyfragmented, it may be harder to keep track with the free feature. We have 3 separate mind maps for the 3 separated areas in our system.

- Calm Harm: We have a horrible self harm addiction 😃 this app tho? It helped a ton in our beginning days of stopping. We don’t SH as much anymore bc of coping™️ but its still helpful for alters who cant control the urge as well as the others.

- UpWord: Its a notes app that can be locked via a passcode. It also has a built in reminders feature. We use it for keeping track of body info, extra info, routines, and general alter stuff. Its become pretty obsolete for us because of the onslaught of programs 📓 uses, but it keeps track of stuff for us still. It has a $4 upgrade to change the colors, remove ads, and more. Id say only purchase it if you end up liking it and using it more than other apps. It’s worth it imo, but if ur broke like me and $4 is a lot, hold off until you use it.

- Selftalking: one of those back and forth, self chat apps. I find it easier to use than Antar (which i still don’t know how to use to this day), but you’ll probably have to make the convos as needed, as opposed to making them all and having alters search their name,,, but it does have a search function if needed. We found the search function helpful. It is, undoubtedly, super ugly from an app design standpoint, and its not entirely user friendly. The ads are incredibly annoying as well, but its a much worth it $1 purchase imo.

📻 - do you experience amnesia?

Yes, but most of it is drug related these days I think (as 🎸, the addiction holder). We’ve been working on functional multiplicity for a while so (day to day) memory sharing is getting easier, but we have a lot of what our therapist calls “cold switches” where theres usually hesitance or stubbornness or any negative emotion that leads to the switch being more disorienting and heightened amnesia. Its like,, idk hard to explain?? Most of the time theres about 9-10 of us front at any given point. Its actually really annoying to have so many of us front and then our amnesia STILL sucks. Like imagine you switch w/ the dude next to you in front and there being complete amnesia between the two until prev dude briefs him on whats been happening.

The way our front works, whoever fronts the frontest (lol) usually has less access to the innerworld, usually forgets what they were doing on the innerworld, they also usually forget what we were doing in a time range of,,, 30min - 3/4 hours, and thats if they are cofront. We’ve had alters who when cocon can remember all this shit but when they front they forget a bulk of it. It’s weird, but we’re working on it.

BUT YEAH! Feel free to send in more or ask non ask game questions!

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quirkthieves · 2 months

Note

👫+ monoma & kiri / kaiba & marik / ishizu

this has to be under a cut i got out of hand

ISHIZU & KAIBA

i think the moment she met him she went into older sister mode. not out of like, a need to baby him or whatever its actually the opposite he is so machiavellian and uppity and willing to escalate a situation that she was just like right yeah this is exactly how marik is. hes at that age, where boys like to blow up buildings in death matches.

for the aforementioned reason i think thats also why he gets to see a slightly more impish side to her she doesnt really share often. the banter is dry and fast she has said "skill issue" to him at least once and she absolutely does stunt on him whenever she manages to even slightly best him in anything. shes rambling about predynastic art and taking forever to get to her point on purpose. and when i think he and her are an absolute menace to joey like his va and her va did a duel once in character and she was murdering him verbally. at one point they were talking about the north american tournament and joey was like "yeah they wouldnt let me enter cuz my decks got banned cards in it" and shes like "joey if you entered even with your current deck you wouldnt win" and he was like "what? why do you say that? did your necklace tell you that?" and she said "no, I just used common sense." . i could feel her and kaiba high fiving on that one i saw it so clearly

also i really like how in battle city we see that like, especially after their duel and as the marik v yugi fight looms ever closer that she and kaiba genuinely talk strategy on the side. she and him are standing on opposite sides of the ring than yugis gang, like, given her whole thing you think shed be kicking it with them but now she and kaiba are gossiping and speculating and i think that shows that he genuinely respects her skill as a duelist even if he thought the fate stuff was bullshit. he knows her meta game was crazy real recognizes real.

theyre gonna have a really, really long talk after dsod.

MARIK & KAIBA

as above i think the two of them are very similar and i think that pisses them both off. they absolutely refuse to acknowledge it like if you said that theyd snort with derision and be like im nothing like him [insert snide remark here] but thats exactly what i mean. for that reason you cannot just leave them to their own devices together its going to get ugly, or if they have a mutual enemy, felonious. both of them designed Saw Games for yugi.

that being said i do think they should be on a podcast together to talk about like, duel monsters news and commentate on tournaments and stuff like the one-liners would be VICIOUSSSSSSSS . it would be like a frenemies situation i think.

he still feels. REALLY bad about the whole "maiming if not murdering" some of the medical staff on the battle city blimp and he has like, no idea how to broach that topic like if he should send a gift basket or apology text or what so like, hes pretty awkward around kaiba at least at first and is kinda just waiting for the day he brings it up. u said kaibas keeping that as an iou in his back pocket and i agree.

i think the ishtars sometimes hang out with (babysit) mokuba and whenever ishizu and rishid wont let him do something he goes to marik because marik 100% enables younger brother behavior . hes taken him on motorcycle rides. he probably showed him how to forge papers at some point. its really educational

MONOMA & KIRISHIMA

so like. ok hear me out. im about to grab manga panels you know this shit is about to be so for real serious. so like i talk a lot about the team up mission chapter where class a is nice to monoma and he freaks it but id like to bring up that kirishima is one of the main three actors of this plan, esp during the phase where they're trying to gather info on what monomas "secret message" is. deku asks monoma how hes feeling, and monomas like....im not fucking telling you that. so,

(condensed version for time and space). but the important part here is that while deku and Iida fail to engage Monoma in normal conversation because Monoma doesn't have normal conversations with Class A, when Kirishima is like "dude just fucking punch me" Monoma is vaguely confused but goes all in, despite the fact that fist fighting Kirishima is probably more of an immediate threat to his health and safety than talking about his feelings.

so what I'm getting at here is that like, I think Kirishima is fundamentally more capable of communicating with Monoma than maybe other members of Class A not despite the sourness between them but because of it. While Kirishima is kind enough at his core to do this because they think Monoma's in danger (and because they think figuring it out will make him...stop. the things he does.), he also has picked up on the fact that communication with Monoma, even well-meaning, has to be delivered in an antagonistic manner, because he has already done the back-and-forth bickering with Monoma that makes his world go round, unlike Iida and Midoriya.

So I think even though they dislike each other, ironically, Kirishima's better at getting a read on him than a lot of other people.

um. I'm just gonna keep going till it loosely approximates four ideas im in too deep. anyways. It's also important to remember that the remedial classes in the forest training camp were fucking LONG. They were four hours a night. That is.a LOT of acute Monoma exposure for the Class A flunkies late into the evening and we know from the light novels that during that time, he was getting up to mischief and frequently taking "restroom breaks" in which he went and cheated in games on behalf of his classmates who did not know he was doing this. but again anyway the point is that kirishima was. very early on introduced to and spent extended periods with monoma's particular brand of crazy and this would only be even more relevant if hes friends with tetsutetsu, who monoma is also fairly close with. i think thats kinda why we see a willingness for kirishima to get up in his personal space more:

which like, watch out kirishima you may be roped into the monoma handler crew. but like i think a lot about that and like, how kirishima actually tries to explain it to monoma even though as someone who has acute monoma toxicity poisoning he knows this is a very futile effort because kirishima is someone who, actively, is trying to be the manly guy he idolizes, but god, this motherfucker does make it really hard sometimes. most of the time. every time. he is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because maybe one day it will be different but he does not have his hopes up and he does not know what is wrong with this dude.

which leads me into the next thing i think, sort of along the same lines as bakugou although not as much, monoma does both envy and admire kirishima for being one of the "strong". naturally he'd rather chew his own hands off than say it, but i also dont think he's picked up on the fact that kirishima is the way he is in a very deliberate manner, like that, he worked to be the person he is today and continues to do so. i think if he did know, monoma would respect him a lot more, because he really admires that kind of self-determination and deeply wishes he, too, could form that strong of a personal identity. again, he probably really wouldnt.... express it that well? like i think maybe monoma admiring your strong traits more is kind of a fast track to him being even more annoying because he is truly instinctively a little hater . but he doesnt actually dislike kirishima for any personal reason, like, he has no qualms with kirishima as a person-- he himself is good friends with tetsutetsu. it's solely the class a thing, and the fact that monoma cant really detangle those feelings of jealousy and admiration. he doesnt really care what kirishima thinks of him, but he does make more of an effort when he engages in his antagonism with kirishima, because hes feeling like "look, i want to stand on ground with you as an equal, i see you as strong enough to be worth putting the energy into this rivalry, youre so cool that i feel like im strong if i can keep up with you" except even he doesnt know this is what hes thinking and nobody really wants this. but i dont think he could even really bring himself to HATE hate kirishima or even match his pure dislike as an individual because monoma has no reason to. hes just an awful little man.

also monoma pesters him a lot because he really really likes his quirk. you should be honored kirishima , really. its really fun to him. naturally he does use it for mischief but even non mischief reasons he just thinks its neattttt hes probably got him some deku-style notes about it. its also probably why monoma would tag along on any training tetsutetsu invites him to do with kirishima around bc otherwise he would be like . why would i want to be sweaty and around those despicable clowns when i dont even have to be. <- knows he has no chance of winning a sparring match and is not even going to try

#RABBIT HEART://ISHIZU HC #NEEDLES://MARIK HC #IMPERFECT CACKLES://MONOMA HC #resolutepath

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blooming-grove · 10 months

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a latine voter here: its not that quetzalcoatl is a dragon but more that quetzalcoatl can very easily fit into the category depending on how you define dragon imo? like if you were to ask me to list dragons i would probably not immediately say quetzalcoatl, but like, feathered serpent deity is really giving dragon, yknwo?

Answering this now since the fiona vs Quetzalcoatl poll is over (n im extremely surprised he won in the end like i really thought fiona would be the final round vs ace ppl irl) anyways

I agree!! Quetzalcoatl to me and many others is not a dragon but a feathered serpent n deity.

For me in particular I didnt see the relation of Quetzalcoatl being added as a dragon and a dragon species? type? sub-type? until it started appearing in media like video games and anime. Not that they appear often or are popular enough for it imo but in the few ones its more in the dragon dep. or divine dep. (bonus points for showing my bestie anime dragon girl Quetzalcoatl* to induce dmg)

*if ur curious i showed her both Lucoa from Dragon Maid** and Quetzalcoatl FGO **I wanna say search Lucoa out of ur own will but id rather not send minors that could be reading this towards that anime so trust me when i say her designs is a fanservice big breasted character type and her dragon form imo resembles more a chinese dragon without limbs and shitty wings. I also think it gets included into the dragon category bc it helps fill a gap in like "world dragons" if that makes sense. If you told me a giant reptile with wings id be yeah sure thats a dragon bc it fits.

But idk if its bc i grew up with subeta that has a feathered serpent pet species I would again not think yeah thats a dragon but yeah thats a snake.

Actually when i saw the coatls from fr i did not make the immediate connection at ALL (also fandomwise i saw them linked more to cats so i was like yeah makes sense KLJHLDKFJSAHLKJGH)

Now i gotta show one of my favorite designs in modern media for Quetzalcoatl comes from Las Leyendas***. LOOK AT THIS MAN!!! ITS SO COOL AND POWERFUL!!

***Las Leyendas was a very good show dripping with pride for its roots but i have to mention that they did have an episode with a w*ndigo and its been a long time so i cannot remember if there were other insensitive depictions of other cultures.

In this show he's the big bad but he's a complex deity he's the god of the wind and fertility!! and crops!! He's complex!! But he's not a dragon.... to me.

Now all this said and done take my opinion with a grain of salt because, while I am latine I am not of Aztec Descent or Mexican (my bestie is tho and when i asked they too didn't consider Quetzalcoatl a dragon but a serpent). In general I am always overjoyed n excited to just see him and just latam pantheon/characters around. I had slightly more typed but i had to retype this like 3 times bc tumblr didnt save. I really do appreciate the ask i was excited when i got it n wanted to respond immediately thank you for sharing!!

#bg.txt

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nt3000s · 9 months

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HI HELLO dw abt answering all of these if it’s too long :3

for Jennifer:

9, 15, 21, 49

for Delainey (? Sry forgot how 2 spell their name </3):

6, 11, 41

and finally for you:

HEH😏

for jennifer: Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?: honestly i think hes been swearing since he was like 8 or 10. nobody gave a shit about fuck How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?: he's very well spoken and very well read in a way thats so annoying he gets punched in the teeth eberyday and his nose is broken forever but he slurs his speech sometimes and it makes him mad because hes supposed to have the eloquence of a unicorn that wants to kill you with its big horn Why do they get up in the morning?: go to work. go to hospital and kill people How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?/How sensitive are they to their own flaws?: he doesnt ignore flaws he points them out because he loves to laugh at people. becayse he hates them. if anyone points out his own flaws he'll skin them with his fingernails

delainey 😁 Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?: everything is flexible. they do not follow the laws of anything they exist outside of life and they do eeeverythig they want all the time How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?: i think theyre literally confused all the time because they are not of this earth someone could be like do you wanna go get ice cream and they'd be like What Is Go 🙂 What Is Get 🙂 What Is I Scream 🙂(completely sincere) How do they feel about children?: they dont pay much attention to anyone or anything but if they were asked theyd say children are like smaller humans that are more funny and more attuned to the light that exists on our beautiful planet so theyre preddy awesome

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? for the 2 of them, realistically delainey hasnt changed i think whatsoever, their design has been just about the same since they were made to right now however the way that i draw them has changed considerably i guess id consider that a design change bc of how drastic it is. jennifer is i guess a character design thats gone throughout more changes than others but i consider them all pretty subtle like i just kept making him more fucked up thats pretty much it LOL. they changed i think pretty exclusively just with how my artstyle did

delaineys always been perfect and jennifer changes as to be attuned to my tastes and desires

#ask

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izepeche · 2 years

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I am new to the strange obsession, but oh my gosh your works are amazing. I just want sinister strange to do whatever he wants and for me to say thanks afterwards.

I dunno what to say omg thank you thank you thank you love 🥺✨ im honestly surprised ppl still show up on my blog lol

I have so many things I wanna do but with my condition i can’t do much but i should be fully cleared to go home by tuesday ✨

but i agree. i was never really into Strange until this movie. i mean i love his design and ive drawn him many times before but idk he just didnt speak to me before now.

i have the filthiest shit to write and draw i am so vile and feral because of it but so is he. they knew exactly what they were doing when then designed him omfg. i have a HC that he’s really into bondage (including self bondage) and its killing me. its killing me that i cant write it all rn.

you did not ask for this, so i apologize in advance. but ive had this little thing rolling in my head so -

Sinister seems like he used to be a professor and its driving me crazy thinking about him in a AU being the low toned sort of teacher who everyone respects. never raises his voice (and doesnt have to) to get his pupils to behave because he’s also silently terrifying. you can hear a pin drop in his class, even when its a study period and he’s sipping his coffee and reading a book. could probably make a student cry without even trying, without even looking at them (tho he will glance to see the tears) and would secretly enjoy it because he’s a bloody bastard. takes no shit and is clearly passionate about teaching and I just wanna see him in glasses and at a desk fiddling with papers? like look-

In this Professor Sinister! AU id say he definitely smells like dark roast coffee and old books. wears a sort of musky, old timey smelling cologne with spicy citrus notes. keeps to himself, doesn’t really interact with the other professors, but may strike up a short conversation with maintenance or the cleaning staff in the evening. even though he’s a strict man he sports a more casual appearance than one would think. im thinking just regular slacks n shoes, rolled up sleeves to his forearms, usually wears a black turtleneck or dark button down shirt with a few too many buttons open if the AC is busted (again), thick salt and pepper hair slightly tussled as its been run through by his fingers because these fucking kids can’t even double space their essays how did they pass high-school.

crystal eyes lingering a bit too long on an unsuspecting pupil who is always well behaved and attentive. openly teases them to the point of hot embarrassment when they ask to be excused to the restroom, even though they asked so nicely and they really have to go. but ,” ah, ah, not until i say so.” “you know you just went 10 minutes ago” “you took too long last time”

purposefully writes comments on their papers ‘see me after class’, even if its the most well-written dissertation he’s read all year. he’s rather knowledgeable and will always find something to offer correction on. as ‘punishment’, he tells them to help him prepare for the next class by writing what he tells them on the chalkboard. this is when his usual low key tone, shifts to something else.

The professor not so subtly stares at them, scrutinizing their handwriting and how their dainty wrists move under his command. no, Professor Strange definitely does not get off to how they struggle when he asks them to write higher, up on their tip toes and a bit wobbly. he’ll make them erase a whole line if they make a single mistake in their penmanship (which is easy because of how tired and cramped they are getting). he’ll cruelly mock them, “are you getting distracted?” “we can try something easier if this is too hard for you” “why are you stopping, you’re not finished yet” “i mean, Jesus, it looks awful. but i guess if that’s the best you can do-“

and if he’s feeling particularly snippy he’ll snap a ruler on his desk to startle them, possibly messing them up further, barely bothering to stop the smile dancing on his lips. he still throws in a smart ‘thank you’ when theyre done that definitely doesn’t make up for his brash behavior. its hard to tell if his harsh interactions are serious or a ploy of flirtation, but its intense enough to get under the skin every time that they are completely flustered when they gather their things to leave his room.

its wrong to be tormenting his own innocent pupil like this- many would say the poor thing doesn’t deserve it and the professor's intentions aren’t noble. but its not wrong if they keep coming back, right? not that he gives a damn, nor gives them much of a choice; he’s not exactly a model on morality. besides, a man can have a little fun, no?

i just- love him. i love him i love him

as soon as i saw him i knew it was curtains for me. he is utter perfection because sinister is just so fucking broken and deliciously unhinged and loosely disguised as a quiet gentleman. i love the fact he’s self aware enough to know he’s a filthy bastard but he just. doesnt. care. and like great! neither do i sweetheart. id beg this man to break me, and like please sir call me all the names.

#sinister strange #dsmom #can you tell ive been waiting to be able to type again #but also thank you ✨#im practically vibrating with need #im depraved #delusional #but not dehydrated #mcu #dr strange #sinister strange au #strange x reader

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kingdoms-and-empires · 2 years

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If I may ask, what are does our family/ROs look and dress like? I understand if this may need to be cut into 2 parts if answered at all, but for fanart purposes, it would be of immense help to know how these characters style themselves even if their physical traits might be up to interpretation like the Argents.

Lol, reason i didnt answer yet was because i didn't know how to answer it lololol

Honestly, its kinda hard to find what I'm looking for online, but ill try lol!

The Codex actually offers lots of information about fashion in the game:

Men of Argent wear simple yet effective clothing padded with fur. The material would differ one man to the next but cotton, wool, and leather were most common due to the cold. Trousers were made of the same materials. The garments were usually of a darker color, bright and fanciful colors usually reserved for men of great wealth or high class.

Women of Argent wear embroidered bodices or elaborate corsets atop their tunics that lift the bosom that are laced from the back. Their skirts are separated from the top. Both genders often use either sheepskin as cloaks, the higher class or wealthy using fur overcoats and shawls.

Papa Uriel usually likes to wear normal everyday clothing, but when he has to he wears fur longcoats (trench coats?) over his normal clothing because he values being able to move freely. He also doesn't like dressing his rank because he feels constricted in tight clothing that shows off his body, much to mama's chagrin/delight.

Aurelian actually loves dressing, so much so he sorta has a chunibyo complex. "MY WOLF BLOOD IS BOILING WITH EXCITEMENT! TREMBLE BEFORE ME AS-"

Julianna walking in:

---------------------

Safe to say Aurelian usually does whatever Julianna wants nowadays.

Ahem. Anyways he dresses flamboyantly to get attention and usually sports dark blue clothing with designs and patterns in the extremities. He sports a wolf head in the right side of his chest for his father, while adding to his chuni tendencies he wears a black cape with a raven drawing for his mother, honoring both. Pretty much like this:

Percy doesnt care about fashion. He doesnt care about what we think. He only cares about what Percy wants to learn. Incredibly curious lil homie has an almost greedy curiosity of the world, usually dragging Julianna with him to visit the castle blacksmith and Old Feren to use his laboratory. So he usually follows Uriel's example and wears clothing like doublets and trousers.

I really hope i answered to your satisfaction, though i doubt it.

@enspey even has some great art shes done for some characters and her direction with fashion in Argent is honestly what id like to point to if I sucked ass at explaining lol

Like this! Credit to my homie enspey

Is PERFECT, the Argent fur fashion to the right meeting the silk fashion of the imperial left! Mom and Julianna would be wearing clothing similar to the right and left, depending on the season.

#kingdomsandempires #fashion #questions #enspey

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you-are-my-neverland · 1 year

Photo

[id: a graphic with a series of three images: a girl with her eyes cast in shadow, a statue of a saint dripping gold, and two hands with light between them. the text overlaid reads ‘the metamorphosis of the lost’ / end id]

THE METAMORPHOSIS OF THE LOST → A ROUND UP

“Kevla is rotten to the core,” June continued. She was as close to impassioned as India thought she would ever visibly be, reminding India of the times June had opened up before, the anger burning like a bright, cold, distant star in her eyes. “You can’t fix Kevla. All you can do is remove some of the damage.”

after roughly fourteen months of writing, i am proud to announce that the first draft of the metamorphosis of the lost is officially done. at the start of the summer last year (2022), i had only 120k words, and the end seemed unreachable. now, i’ve wrapped up the first draft at a rounded up value of 310k. it’s crazy to think that i’ve actually reached this point. i started tracking my writing progress during my summer goal of 200k, and continued to do so during the fall semester, of which i only failed to write one day. in retrospect, all those days where i was too tired to write more than a few sentences, with word counts under 100, and the months where i struggled to hit my goal of 500 a day - all those days piled up to the completion i achieved right on time for 2023 to hit.

will i definitely do more work on this novel? who knows. i can’t say for certain that i’ll ever go back to it, or that a second draft will occur. but i hope i will. i always planned for tmotl to have a companion piece, for this to be the first part of a duology. do i have nothing but a few scattered ideas tying the two together? yes. i do need to actually tackle the plot of that rumored companion novel soon.

“What did you ever do for me?” she asked bleakly. “I’m dead because of you. If you had cared at all, the Black Saint would have died long before I came back to find him still alive.” If he had been dead then, I might have come back to you, she didn’t say, because it was something that she would never be able to take back if she did.

i’ve posted a lot of (unpolished) excerpts on here before, so in honor of finishing the first draft, i figured i would let myself talk about the writing process and all the little things i haven’t shared yet! if you were ever interested in finding out more about this wip, or read the posts i’ve made and thought ‘idk what this is about but this is cool’ (as i never did post those character profiles or setting notes or anything informative beyond the wip intro...), read on.

(fair warning: it’s long.)

Kevla itself might be larger than life, but India didn’t believe in the city either. She just knew it existed, because she couldn’t ignore its presence in her life.

Maybe Kevla was God.

we’ll start with the city itself. kevla, a city set somewhere on the coast, estranged from the rest of the world that it can’t really be imagined somewhere on a map. kevla is, at it’s heart, a gritty thing to behold: it is a city that is trying to kill you, and the only thing that will save you.

there have been many times when i’ve looked at a wip and said, this wip is just going to be normal. there will be no magical realism in this wip.’ this was not the case for tmotl - when i was first visualizing the story, i knew that i wanted the city the vigilantes occupy to be alive in a very magical realism way. therefore, kevla is a sentient being, though it is never explicitly called that. it is only understood by the characters throughout the story, by anele and india and vin and june. it is talked about as something that acts on its own. in this, kevla becomes both the setting and a character.

kevla itself is neatly divided into districts. i live in the suburbs, and have not lived in any big metropolises, but i have visited nyc, and d.c. is kevla not exactly designed as a realistic city would be? yes. but i think it fits into the rest of the novel - kevla has to be small for logistical reasons, but it also has to be larger than life. it has to be a peninsula, with a raging coastline, and it has to have a living forest cutting it off from everything else. the people who live in kevla understand the uncanny nature of their city, but it is not unusual to them - it’s just the place they live.

He didn’t say anything. India drew in a shuddering breath and felt his chest expand slightly, in the barest way, ribs rigid through his costume. She could draw a knife right now, stab him fatally, slide it into the spot between the ribs, drive it in through his skin and break through his back. If not that, then a bullet at close range. The possibilities were endless. At this point, she could see the seams in his body armor. Everything and anything could be destroyed at this close.

india, india, india. tmotl definitely doesn’t have a single main character - june and india both share that title, and many other characters have a substantial amount of povs - but tmotl is also very much india’s story, because she’s the girl i wanted to write about first. an angry girl. an outcast. someone who is overflowing with all the wrong emotions. someone who bares her rage on her teeth.

india as indigo is directionless. she’s stuck in place, and she doesn’t know where she’s going. it’s only after she’s killed by the black saint and returns as the red saint that she finally has a purpose - to kill the black saint, and to prove the world (the vigilantes) wrong. to show them. where she had just been following other people’s paths, and rules, now she forges her own. still, even, she’s torn in her heart - does she really want burned bridges? does she want death? apologies? for all that india claims, she doesn’t really know, herself, but it takes her a long time before she can admit that to herself.

india is, at her core, unpredictable. she’s a series of contradictions, which is intended. no matter how much drive you have, it doesn’t amount to anything if you don’t know where you’re going, or why you’re going at all. she’s a treasure trove of trust issues, impulses, and sharp edged defenses. she doesn’t trust anyone, because she was abandoned from birth - there was never anyone in her corner until she met anele and vin. even then, even with a found family, she put up the walls; she wants to be understand, while believing so strongly in the fundamental divide between them all - that they will never understand what it’s like to be her.

india is a mouthpiece for something that often echoed throughout my thoughts, especially when first brainstorming for tmotl. who gets to decide who the good guys are in vigilantism? are you the good guys, india asks, because you didn’t let your trauma affect you? because you dealt with it ‘neatly?’ am i the bad guy for not being able to?

“I didn’t die easily,” June said ferociously. “None of us died easily. People like you didn’t let us die easily. Our death, to you, was nothing but a chance, but for us it was hell, over and over again. Why do you expect compassion from me when you never had any for any of us? You didn’t change anything. You didn’t save anyone. You took a legacy and let it live on.”

She swallowed back her anger and lividity, fingers curling around the knife handle.

“Complacency is a crime.”

june, our other leading lady. summer 2021, when i was first having the beginnings of an idea of what this story would become, june’s description was ‘a revenge driven victim of nonconsensual body modification/experimentation.’ she was always designed to be the perfect experiment, in a way. she’s the timepiece, not a cog, of the weaponization of children.

june’s story is one of agency. of irony. she’s dissociated from her body - it is just a thing she lives in. it was something that was made by other people. she uses that body to kill the people that made her, as if saying, ‘look what the body you made can you do. look what the thing you made is capable of.’ she is the sword that turns on its owner, the weapon that fights back instead of fleeing. where does the weapon end and the girl begin? she doesn’t even know herself.

june is the ice to india’s fire. they complement each other like that. she’s the level headed one, the executioner. india’s all impulsivity and anger, emotions spilling out over the edges as june keeps everything she feels close. she doesn’t even know how much she’s feeling at any time; june keeps everything muted, a further dissociation from the self.

her revenge is not really revenge so much as it is vengeance. it’s the only way she can even begin to reclaim her agency, and while she acknowledges that at some level, outwardly the reason for what she does is simple: so that it never happens to anyone else. not for herself, but for everyone else. or so she tells herself.

“We’re here,” Vail said. “If you ever want to talk more about any of it, we’re here.”

“But you’re not,” Emrys said, hating the way her voice cracked on the last word. “All of you are here, but you’re not there.”

They were alone. She felt terrible and peculiar, as if they were pins on a map, standing in the same city but far away from each other. As if walking in parallel lines, but heading in different directions. When India had been there, things had been different. When Aerin had been there, Emrys had thought she would at least have the comfort of knowing she wasn’t alone, but she was alone. They all were.

emrys wasn’t supposed to be that main of a character, but she ended up badgering her way into the story anyways, snatching up a large percentage of povs. she became very close to my heart, maybe because, out of all of the characters, she was the most like me in her mind (and i spent a lot of time in her mind). kind of like my embodiment of girlhood - she’s in her nebulous coming of age, in the background: confronting hard truths and hard feelings alongside grief, as she steps into new shoes all on her own. she didn’t quite end up following the ideas i had in mind for her, but i’m pretty satisfied with the emrys i have left.

emrys was supposed to be the hope of the group. in every story (at least for me), there must be someone who represents the new when it comes to the old (pain, trauma, tradition, etc). in a twist of irony, emrys herself became aware of this - she herself thinks that she doesn’t want to be hope, or in pandora’s box at all.

for a character that was supposed to be the happy, bright one, the emrys we meet in tmotl is living out an aftermath. that happy, bright girl is who she used to be. the girl she is now is one transforming, becoming a darker shadow to her brighter body. many of the things she does throughout the story would be considered uncharacteristic from those who know her, and even though the readers are not aware of who this girl used to be (and only catch glimpses of her), the reactions of other characters tell us this.

“You know why I saved you,” Catrin said.

“I do,” Vin agreed. He could never forget the life debt he carried so heavily on his heart, which had stayed his hand a hundred times over. It was the reason he was loyal to her after all; their relationship was built on mutual debt, with which came a degree of shared trust. Vin had always known that one day she might aim him at someone with intent to kill, and he would do it. If only to keep the balance.

onto vin, one of the older members of this vigilante group at 25, but no less important. he is supposed to come off as almost inhuman - flexible beyond measure, moving like a shadow, so quiet that he makes no noise at all, as if he was a ghost. vin is a mystery, and a private person, who is frustratingly hard to understand to his younger counterparts, such as india and emrys, and still an enigma to his older partners, such as anele. he has one of the most thought out characterizations (because i had so much to work out when it came to his character), but you probably learn the least about him throughout the story.

vin bears the brunt of india’s anger and emrys’ frustration in the story, partially because he’s so hard to communicate with (in a way), and partially because he’s the one they want to prove themselves to. he’s aloof and talented; he never messes up, or calls the wrong shot. he was built for the job, it seems. of course, this is what it looks like on the surface - underneath tells a story, the dark side of june’s moon. human experimentation to the point of dehumanization. on the surface, he looks ordinary. inside, who knows what he has become.

vin operates by a strict moral code. he’s brutal, and capable of extreme cruelty, but he never kills. in a fight, he says, the only thing that matters is the people you want to protect. one rule, but it’s the only thing that matters. this is where he and india clash - she wants the black saint dead, but vin will never kill (for reasons relating to backstory info that can’t be shared at this moment lol).

a fun fact, though, which i don’t think i actually mentioned in the first draft even though it’s so clever, is that vin is short for corvin. corvin derives from corvinus, which derives from the latin word corvus in turn. corvus literally means raven, but it also refers to the genus of birds including crows, ravens, etc. his vigilante name is crow btw.

Angry was too close to being a bomb herself, and for all her sermons on understanding bombs, Anele had already died in the face of one. She did not want to become one herself.

When bombs exploded, they left no survivors. Even the ones who lived were not untouched.

The ones who died, too, even.

anele!! the wisest of the bunch, maybe, if wisdom equals years. she’s not the mother figure, but more like an older sister to many of the vigilantes. someone you would go to for advice. where everyone else came from empty and hard childhoods, anele grew up loved with a single father, in a suburban neighborhood. she has memories she can look back on with fondness, instead of ones tainted by death or grief.

although anele is always moving forwards, she, too, is mired in the past. she grieves for herself. she visits her father as a ghost, leaving him things without ever knocking on the door, because she is afraid she wouldn’t be welcomed back as one of the living. so much of her current life is trapped in the half second before she died the first time. she might not have believed in the system, but she participated in it, until dying. then, she realized it was always going to fail her. despite being straight laced, she believes in the gray line between black and white, the area outside of laws and all that.

anele steps into the role of x-le with ease, but at the heart of the matter, she doesn’t trust catrin, especially since she never asked to be saved, or to be brought back to life with metal in her veins. she doesn’t allow this to color her professional relationships, but on a personal level, she doesn’t hide her scrutiny.

anele and vin have by far one of my most favorite relationships in the novel, mostly because she is, at least, deeply in love with him in a way that can’t even be described as love. it’s subtle, but interwoven in all their interactions. feelings where there shouldn’t be. emotion where it can’t exist. makes me go insane, honestly.

You didn’t have to answer, Diem thought, but couldn’t make herself say it, because a part of her had always been waiting. Ever since her childhood, when she had first heard the whispered rumors about her father, when she had realized that there would always be questions about her birthright and place following her, she had been waiting for a father to claim. For a father to destroy.

Her mother’s hand on her own, helping her slide the knife into skin, wiping the blood spray for her face gently, showing her how to clean the blade.

diem is, out of all the vigilantes (our heroes and heroines), the most antagonistic one by design. she is one of the characters that was meant to stay the truest to their original designs (of an old wip also called tmotl i half planned back in 2019-2020, of which several characters were taken off the shelf and dusted off for this story). the diem i created then was cutthroat and hard to the bone, the kind of person who used people and threw them away when she was done. here, her personality is a bit toned down, if only because she has to take the back burner - she’s not the leader, but now a ‘lackey.’ a team member. however, although diem might be one with the team, she very much chafes against the idea, an independent contractor.

daughter of the infamous bowman, a criminal overlord, and an unnamed man, diem grew up in a life of elite crime. she might have died since then, but it only made her harder. out of all of them, diem is the one who focuses the most on impartiality, of cutting things off before they drag her down. she cuts her losses before they can cut her. sentimentality has no place in her - she is a brutal machine, always pushing herself forward. the only soft spot she has is for vail, and even then, she’s hard pressed to show it. to diem, all her weaknesses became her strengths, including her death.

to india, diem is someone she wants to destroy. prior to death, they were always at each other’s throats, and after it, it’s no surprise that diem is the main voice preaching that india can’t be saved. their similarities only cause their differences to be more abrasive.

Kevla already had one saint. It didn’t need another. The audacity they had to call themselves Saints when all they did was contribute to the hell so many people were trapped in made Vail vengeful—he didn’t believe in Saints, and even if he did, they wouldn’t be the ones who walked the streets. Saint wasn’t a title one gave themselves; it had to be earned.

vail is the quiet one. where everyone else is brimming with opinion and emotion, vail is in the backdrop, a muted color against all the vivid, dark ones competing for space. he is kind and compassionate in comparison to diem’s hard headed ruthlessness, but he’s also the only one who can meet her head on without getting emotionally involved - maybe that is why he is the only one who can temper her.

vail is a man of family and faith, but he keeps both those things close to his heart. although he is a sentimental person, he is always hiding that part of himself, because it got him hurt, over and over again. family and faith hurt him, killed him, but he doesn’t know how to let it go. can’t.

all the characters pay homage to some sort of divine presence at least once or twice throughout tmotl, but vail is the only one who believes in a specific god, instead of an entity-that-might-be-a-god, or kevla-as-a-god-or-divine-being. kevla is a city that kills organized religion, but vail’s faith is too great to be killed.

He’d thought that he had gotten over it. That the past had stopped chasing him. That, when the past finally found him, Mika would be ready for it. That he would fight it. That he would kill it.

How many times had he dreamed of that night? How many times had he dreamed of another dreary Kevlan landscape, where this time he was the victor?

mika, son of the mockingbird. like diem, he believes in absolute strength, not allowing himself any sign of weakness. he’s very independent, and though he seems unwavering, he’s actually insecure in his identity, if only because of the immeasurable shadow his parents - a chemist and famous vigilante, respectively - left behind.

mika’s story is one of legacy. like his mother before him, he traverses the city in the guise of night, as phantom. he’s cynical, the pessimistic voice among those who believe in the best, and deals with everything that bothers him with coldness, putting up high walls. although he seems closed off, inside he carries a bone deep determination to survive, to defeat ‘evil’ and triumph. his thoughts on justice are often unclear, as is his morality, but he approaches the title of vigilante with a ruthless efficiency.

catrin flint, emrys’ aunt, is mika’s guardian, through a series of loosely explained events - often because it is not clear to mika or emrys themselves how catrin knew his mother, and what led her to take him in. mika never wanted another family, and that much is clear to both flints, but he is also the one who ends up being the most in emrys’ corner as she goes through grief and changes. he doesn’t agree with her on most things, but he stays by her side all the same.

mika was originally supposed to have a touch of magical realism to him as well - and he should still, if the necessary revisions are done and hints portrayed. mika was supposed to be someone who walked the shadowy line of the veil, seeing/communicating with the dead, or hand in hand with death (with nebulous connections to his own death or near-death experience).

Suicidal, Drakov had called him back then, when he had spared him and Jericho had thrown it away in favor of not taking the hint, trailing him because he had seen a lifeline in the other man, one he wanted to grasp, like flailing in the ocean and chancing upon a buoyancy device. It was coming out of a haze, like a dying man who had been living life with the expectation of it ending only to realize that he wanted to live.

But Jericho wasn’t fifteen. He was Jailbird, had been for years. He’d trained under Drakov, the only person he knew who had had the honor. He’d managed to survive in this shitty city, had gotten out of the trap where thousands of others had died, and had carved out a living without paying penance to anyone but himself.

jericho’s the only vigilante without a team, but he makes up for it by having plenty of connections. he’s india’s friend, before and after. he becomes mika’s and emrys’ connection in the grimy city, and potential ally. he communicates with the dragon, the only person who can reveal information on the assassin on a personal, instead of professional, level (with the exception of a few).

a vigilante who is more like a mercenary, jericho goes by the pseudonym jailbird, and mostly keeps to himself. he’s shrewd, witty, and plays the game as smart as he can as a kid on his own - and it’s worked; he’s managed to avoid any major trouble. out of all the cast, jericho is one of the few who avoids a near death experience.

still, he deals with a fair amount of imposter syndrome and guilt, most of which is only alluded to, as he only gets the rare pov. i can’t speak much on him because several big facts about him are technically plot relevant info that gets revealed in the novel itself.

June wondered if that was before or after he had died for the first time, before or after the first time he had tried to kill himself. With Rhys, the first time had never been the last. She thought of what he had said the last time they had talked so closely. I don’t care about life or death, June. I don’t care about the people I kill. I don’t care if it gets me killed.

She held the blade up to him. The pale light glinted on the edges, showing the smooth, glossy sheen of it all.

if winter were a person, it would be personified through rhys. aptly enough, his last name is winters, although this never gets mentioned in-text (i don’t believe). surprisingly, rhys doesn’t get a single pov throughout tmotl, even when most of the characters mentioned here get at least one (like mika). still, he has a presence, if only because he is june’s partner in crime. they come from the same history, cut from the same cloth.

rhys is the apathetic type of person who doesn’t believe in anything. he’s suicidal (to a lesser degree in the present, but this is still an explicit textual fact). he likes to weaponize his discomfort and acidic personality to make other people (namely kit) uncomfortable. human misery on the downlow, though this could also be attributed to the fact that he lives a miserable existence - as if his history wasn’t bad enough, in death he was saved and made alive only through the fact that he is literally toxic, consigning him to a life wearing a gas mask, as his breathe could kill people if it is not filtered.

in tmotl, rhys is in many ways an abettor. does he care for june’s revenge? not really, but he helps her with it anyways, because what he feels for june is complicated, but he would follow her anywhere, if only because she gives him something to do. does he care about kit? does he care about human life? who knows. sometimes he says things just to be contradictory.

rhys was also from the original wip, and he stays much the same, if a little more fleshed out. so does his and kit’s antagonistic relationship.

Flames were dancing in the fever bright blue of Kit’s eyes, his arm running red as he carelessly studied the tracker, letting it catch the light. She could see the thin displeasure set in Rhys’ mouth, even behind the gas mask, which snaked around his ears, the rebreathers fitted like a glove to the lower half of his face. He passed her a strip of cloth wordlessly, his own arm bound. She in turn took Kit’s hand, nodding at the tracker as she cinched a quick tourniquet.

“I know,” Kit murmured, and then threw the tracker back towards the warehouse. His skin beneath June’s cool, blood stained fingers was burning. She could feel the thud of his heartbeat beneath the thin skin of his wrist, beating a wild rhythm, but when she looked at him more carefully, he still stood unwavering, which was good enough.

this excerpt is actually from page number one. kit, our final ‘main’ character (besides the villains and adults of the story, which are not quite as interesting, and also don’t have much i can reveal about them without spoiling things), is part of june’s team of three. he doesn’t go out in costume like basically every single other character; he doesn’t even have a code name. he’s the technology behind june’s operation, the one who runs things behind the scenes for her and rhys.

kit is important because he’s who june wants to protect. he’s one of the reasons she keeps moving forward at all. he’s a failure, at least to the organization - they saved him, but they couldn’t make him something better. sometimes, when you fix something broken, it doesn’t turn out as it was. for kit, this means a slow, aching death sentence, fighting the deterioration of his own body.

still, kit tries to stay brave in the face of it all. he’s light hearted, especially in comparison to rhys and june’s dark moods. he’s a light - something june follows, and rhys abhors. much of kit is a mix of appearance and projection; it is as it looks, but it also isn’t. sometimes, you’ve barely scratched the surface, because as much as kit is the open one, he also has a history of lying and conning that mark him as as much of a street kid as india, or june was.

he’s destined for death. the only question - one that is revisited throughout tmotl in scenes - is how long it will take before he gets there.

That last day in the Fold had never stopped being a blade lodged in his sternum. Vin could still feel it, the wound it covered. If he ever pulled the knife free, he would bleed out, but the longer he kept it in, the more damage would be done in the long run.

He kept the blade in. It was the risk he could take, for now.

that’s it for now. i could go on and on, but i think i’ve written enough for now. if you have any questions about this work on the characters, or just want to know something, please reach out via my ask box or messages! i hope this piqued your interest - that being said, if you would like to be added to this specific taglist, or my general taglist, let me know in some way shape or form!

taglist: @cannivalisms @sunshineomeara @thepixiediaries @muddshadow

#.txt #wip: tmotl #wip: the metamorphosis of the lost #writers on tumblr #my writing #creative writing #wip info #first draft #writeblr #wip #wip excerpt #gratuitous amounts of folly here (me rambling about it)#this is SO long but in my defense this is what i want on my blog. long posts where i just talk about my writing #no more making stuff look pretty. i want it to be what i want. and that is about how much i LOVE what i write ok #anyways. hope this cleared some things up or made them more confusing #i have a whole tag you can peruse if you want to learn more or refresh your memory #10+ characters that i never introduced outside of excerpts...we love to see it #this is so crazy and insane and this took me days to write on top of that #but i'm DONE so please interact if you want #if you have the time <3 #and send me an ask if you want to know more!!!

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