I’ve been trying to grasp why I’ve been so in love with hunger au, and it wasn’t until looking up the lyrics to ‘ibuprofen’ to try and spoil the next chapter for myself (I am very good at making things up) that I figured out why.

Your World building is beautiful and I’m a massive sci-fi fan I thought that was why I was originally so invested, but I realized that the entire story (as of rn) can be read as a metaphor for a type of personality disorder?

This isn’t me saying that the story MUST be a metaphor, or even that you intentionally wrote it like that, but goddamn it does click some button in me like oh!!

Sometimes w personality disorders it feels like all you can do is hurt people. You’re carefully restricting your actions and expressions so you dont ever get too comfortable and hurt someone, but you inevitably fail and all you can do is feel bad because you were able to be yourself and meet some kind of internal satisfaction but the result is other people being hurt and you still aren’t happy cause that’s inherently a bad thing.

And then the logical conclusion is that you should never speak or hang out with people (or like. Live.) ever again because it’s not right to be hurting other people with your mere existence.

Idk if anyone else has mentioned this before but yeah that’s this for me lol. But!! Help exists!!! and Grian will get help too with his watcher tendencies after he realizes that his existence isn’t inherently detrimental and that there are solutions for his problems if he uses his big boy words and asks.

And no one will forgive him for what’s happened overnight, and those who forgive him will still have been hurt, and some of his relationships will be permanently altered because of the way he’s hurt them. But it’s not the end for him and it’s not the end for anyone else!!

Sorry this is so long! Idk if I should tag anything sensitive in case you decide to respond so Ima leave that to you— I’m a tumblr lurker I’ve been here for years but never commented on anything lol. Ty for the story, keep living laughing and loving (It’s what Grian would want apparently) and have a good one!

placing some obligatory tws here for those with post filtering: tw for discussions of mental health, personality disorders, and minor suicidal ideation (in the ask)

alright with that out of the way this is actually really validating for me to hear bc a lot of what you're seeing in this has been inserted very deliberately. While its not intended to fully be a metaphor for having a personality disorder, a lot of what's been depicted does draw on that, so im really glad this resonates with you!!

At its heart and core, hunger au is about the raw process of recovery, and how grueling but ultimately rewarding it is to commit to getting better. Showing this process through the fic is, i suppose, my way of holding the hand of everyone who is struggling with their own recovery and saying "i see you. i understand. you arent alone."

I cant overstate how humbled i am by everyone who has taken the time to tell me how theyve seen themselves in hunger au. And the fic is just getting started!!! The fact that people are resonating this hard with it at only 5 chapters in just blows me away. Its everything ive wanted for this fic. Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, because im truly so grateful that i am making an impact with it, no matter how small or personal.

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

happy valentines day <3 i wanted to do more, but sadly i only had enough time to complete these two

please also don't forget Rafah is under attack and urgently needs help. you can buy esims, check the BDS boycott list, click the daily donation button and email your representatives (USA).

there will also be a global strike february 18 - 24.

Just a random thought about how Alastor and Vox must’ve been really good friends before everything fell apart. Because Alastor knows how to make a video ad, he knows how to set things up for a movie/video shoot, things that had nothing to do with his medium, that he probably learned how to do because of Vox, because he was willing to try and learn from or for Vox. And Vox literally welcomes Alastor back home when he finds out he’s returned, has literally counted the years Alastor’s been missing when no one else seemed to know, and fashioned his clothing style to match Alastor’s (assuming it’s not just a case of everyone gets a pinstripe suit!), uses the same techniques Alastor taught Charlie about how smiling can be a tool to keep you ahead of the game.

And how it all fell apart and it wasn’t just Vox that was hurt in the process. Because you can’t tell me the man who hates TVs and modern tech due to its association with Vox doesn’t feel anything for what friendship they had and lost. Who snarls at the mere sight of him on a screen (admittedly while also dissing Alastor), who went straight back to his radio tower to diss Vox right back (and absolutely crush him lol), before threatening him against taking action, privately, twice. Alastor’s just better at hiding how much it’s affected him, and doesn’t let the bitterness of what used to be consume his every waking thought.

And maybe that’s the difference between how they view their old relationship and how the fandom seems to view it. Alastor’s upset about it, sure. He’s bitter now about Vox and everything Vox represents because he’s a past friendship that failed, but he’s also moved on with his life. Vox hasn’t. Vox still obsesses over Alastor, in the way he dresses, the way he talks, how he presents himself. It’s all reminiscent of Alastor. And when he finds out Alastor’s returned, the first thing he does is draw attention to how Alastor’s back! Talk in a roundabout way about how much he’s missed him! Has wondered where he’s been? Sends a spy into the hotel to, well, spy on Alastor! And when that doesn’t work, Vox continues to stalk Alastor through his drones instead. (And then gets off on seeing Alastor get beat up.)

Vox very much has not moved on from whatever friendship they’d had before. He hasn’t moved on from Alastor. (Or from his heavily implied obsessive crush).

We don’t know what happened between them, aside that it’s complicated and sad, that they were friends, and now they’re very much not, and that maybe part of the reason why is because Alastor rejected Vox’s request to join his team (upend his entire life to partner with Vox, assuming Alastor always worked solo and what the Vees currently have is what Vox had wanted with Alastor with his request). We can assume maybe part of why they fell apart was because Vox wanted something more from his relationship with Alastor, something Alastor could not and did not want to give him. Or maybe they just grew apart, grew distant. Vox constantly upgrading and changing and keeping up with the newest trends, chasing whatever new Thing that’ll keep him relevant, while Alastor remained set in his ways because he’s not looking for the approval of the masses.

Anyways, all this to say: when I, and I assume most other OneWayBroadcast fans talk about one-sided radiostatic, it is specifically about how Vox has a one-sided romantic/sexual attraction/crush on Alastor, that Alastor does not return, that has now turned into a one-sided obsession over Alastor. Not that their entire friendship was completely one-sided. I think saying that Vox was the only one who was ever invested in their relationship is a rather bad faith interpretation of Alastor’s character, but also does not do their relationship justice at all. It minimizes Vox’s responsibility in the fallout of their friendship, and puts the blame only on Alastor. It takes away all the juicy complexities of Vox’s character, how he’s bad person who’s done and is doing bad things, and paints him as an innocent victim to “Alastor’s manipulation”.

That’s not to say Alastor was completely innocent in the fallout either. But I hear a lot more about how the fandom woobifies Vox in their relationship than I do Alastor.

Now... Now let's talk about good ole step dad Nanami because.... 💦🐱

so much to talk about w/stepdad Nanami!! he’s so emotionally and sexually stunted, it’s both sad and adorable. stepdad!Nanami is the type to have a deranged stepdaughter who brings meaning back into his life...

I can see stepdad!Nanami just being so sick and tired of life after decades of eat, sleep, work, repeat. he has nothing to come home to, so he forces himself back out into the dating field. he meets your mother, and she takes advantage of him, but he doesn’t know because he’s been out of the dating field for so long, he just thinks that's how it’s supposed to be. 

stepdad!Nanami who meets you after a handful of months and he hates himself for feeling such attraction to you. he knows he shouldn’t—you're the daughter of the women he’s dating—but he just can’t help himself. you’re so different from your mother, albeit you have her crazy spirit, you genuinely care for him. you ask about his health, interests, hobbies, and work. nevertheless, that fact that you’re absolutely stunning. he looks forward to the talks you two have when you come down from college. it feels so good to have meaningful conversations with someone who cares. 

stepdad!Nanami who is a bit naive, so he doesn’t realize your sexual antics at first. he doesn’t think anything of it when you leave the bathroom door open while you shower, he just shuts it for you, trying to respect your privacy. nor does he think anything when you wear the shortest shorts and the tiniest tops. he pops a boner for sure but automatically feels like the worst man on planet Earth. he tries to stop his eyes from wandering but some days—but being so sexually frustrated, he can’t help himself. poor old stepdad!Nanami who you sent a video masturbating, and he thinks you meant to send it to another, so he doesn’t open it. what he doesn’t know is that in said video you're moaning and crying about how much you need your daddy Kento.

...that stepdad!Nanami?? because I can talk about that Nanami <3 

Little is Alyx 👎🏻

Little is Penny 👎🏻

Little is a reflection of Ruby in Vol.1 and is a physical representation of “healing your inner child” 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

A short comic I made for an anthology

Nah, you know what makes my blood boil?

Seeing characters degraded, vilified, and desecrated in the name of ship wars.

No, Aang did not strip Katara of her agency nor did he only accept the "digestible" parts of her, leave my baby alone.

No, Zuko isn't just a selfish colonizer, bro did not have one of the greatest arcs of all time for you to reduce him to that.

No, Katara wasn't just a mother to everyone, for fuck's sake, did we watch the same show?

I can go on and on and fucking on, but all I'm gonna say is I'm fucking tired of y'all's shipping discourse.

It was never that serious, it will never be that serious.

I think that both Zutara and Kataang are great ships in their own right, with their respective pros and cons. I also think it comes down to personal taste.

Of course, people can have differing opinions on characters, regardless of the inclusion of ships or not. But at the very least, stick to your own.

Ship and let ship. Remember when this was fun?

Don't invade spaces that aren't yours to start trouble, and stay appropriate with the tags. Fandom etiquette, it's pretty neat.

Y'all suck the joy out of everything.

ok WHERE is that yoko quote about yes im your angel where she makes a joke about the “you’re my fairy” line. i have a need for it.

Anticipated Q&A:

Q. Where's Doug and Hera (Wolf 359)?

A. We both know that wouldn't be fair. Too powerful.

Q. What about [] and [] (The Magnus Archives)?

A. TMA is too powerful for poll inclusion. Also there's too many potential options without any that stand out, you know?

Q. In previous versions you included Clara and Dan (Archive 81). Why not this one?

A. I wanted to, but after they actually did this with Dan and Melody? Mm.

Q. I think you're missing someone else important!

A. Oh? Tell me who!

Q. I don't know any of these!

A. Pick one and go listen!

Q. But what if I ship them romantically?

A. The purpose of this poll is not to criticize. I am simply an enjoyer of friendship and lists.

look i totally get it’s all love now but genuinely every kipperlilly sympathizer that only talks about how it’s so valid she hates the bad kids and how she’s a side character getting fucked by the main characters simply just feels like they themselves have hella side character syndrome and are relating to kipperlilly a bit too hard and might need to consider that they’re only a side character if they convince themselves they are

(my tags explain it a bit better but i was too lazy to copy them up here)

one pet peeve of mine in founders-era fanfics is when madara's whole,,,, everything is solved by izuna just being there

like maybe this is just me, but i don't think izuna surviving or even coming around to the idea of a truce with the senju would've been enough to keep madara from the path he ended up on.

izuna wasn't the reason he left - he was definitely part of madara's issues, but he wasn't the why. even if izuna had stuck around, and even if that had been enough to keep the uchiha clan from losing their faith in madara, i think he would've still come to realize konoha wasn't what he'd hoped it would be.

best case scenario, i think izuna's survival might've caused madara to stick around a bit longer, but i don't think it would've lasted. honestly, even then, that might've just made the inevitable break-up between madara and hashirama even more agonizing (particularly for izuna)

it's a fun idea to play around with for sure, but frankly i don't think canon!madara could've ever been 'saved' from that path. certainly not if the hidden village system ended up getting set up in the same way.

the ultimate character type for us autistic girlies

i literally still am in such awe of the fact patrick did ive got a dark alley for the first time ever. pete said forever ago that they'd never do that song live because it was too personal and i just. to me patrick doing it is such a testament to this being the healing tour and specifically to like the love and trust between Them. pete has always trusted patrick with his deepest darkest thoughts and fears and feelings and patrick has always dealt with them so lovingly and tenderly. they finally played the too personal to play live song and it was just patrick doing it, effectively meaning too that it was just pete. just pete's words and a piano on stage. intimate and tender and safe being told through patrick's voice live for the first time ever. if u even care.

I'm really curious, what makes saw a genuinely fun experience for you? I'm v squeamish so I'm so intrigued to hear your perspective!

the way it's shot is so silly that even the torture scenes are just. incredibly funny and less gory than you'd expect. despite its infamy the original saw is honestly like if a group of haunted house employees crowdfunded a movie together.

ant and bad had a secret villager trading place 10,000 blocks away on the DSMP ??