#and so I just find their relationship really interesting
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Tie Break || Art Donaldson x Reader ; Patrick Zweig x Reader
this can be read as a sequel to changeover or as a standalone :) enjoy <3
Rating: E (18+)
Word Count: 7.7k
Warnings: SMUT (p in v smut x2, f!recieving oral, handjob, creampie, cum eating), angst with a happy ending, infidelity, toxic relationships, everyone in this is kind of a horrible person, language obviously
Summary: It’s summer in Atlanta, 2011. For the second time in your life, you’re the clear second choice. When the opportunity arises, you find a temporary distraction in Art Donaldson.
A/N: FINALLY here it is! The 2011 Atlanta fic. They’re back, they’re older, they’re even more toxic. Let me know if you’re interested in a part 3!
It was hot, even though the sun had long since dipped beneath the horizon. It was a cloying, oppressive heat that made the stupid, business-casual top you wore stick to your skin.
The article you were working on was halfway written, something you could knock out in the next hour if you really tried. Your drink was watered down from the heat, weak when it hit your tongue. A frown turned your lips, but you really shouldn’t have been drinking anyway.
"Working late?”
The voice was so familiar that you could’ve recognized it anywhere, any time. Art Donaldson was one of the most recognizable men in the country, but to you, he seemed so different. The boyishness was still there, but it lay beneath a new level of confidence.
You took a sip of your drink, trying to appear nonchalant, like it hadn’t been four years since you last spoke. “I’m on deadline. I’m writing a feature on Anna Mueller heading into the US Open next month.”
Without asking, he sat down across from you at the small bistro table. He was so close you could smell the minty gum he had been chewing. It nearly made you smile. Old habits die hard.
“So you write about tennis?” He asked, meeting your gaze.
“I write about athletes,” you corrected. “I was going to be here anyway, and since Anna is heading for a Grand Slam, I thought it would be easy enough. Grab a couple of interviews, watch a few matches.”
He nodded, leaning back in the chair, trying his best to be causal in a situation that definitely wasn’t. You sipped again at your drink, peering at him over the edge of the glass.
“You have a match tomorrow,” you said, as though he needed reminding. “Shouldn’t you be listening to shitty pop punk to get yourself psyched right now?”
A smile spread across his lips, and he looked so much like the guy you knew from college that it made your chest tug uncomfortably. Same hair, the same smile, the same crinkle at the edges of his eyes when he was amused by something. You couldn’t help but smile along with him, like the past four years were nothing. “I don’t do that anymore,” he said with a laugh. “Do you want another drink?”
You looked down at your glass, mostly water and thin ice cubes. “Rum and coke?” You asked, giving him a tiny smile. He nodded and disappeared towards the bar.
It felt strange, sitting there in the quiet, your article the furthest thing from your mind. Four years. It felt like yesterday and an eternity ago that you’d last spoken with him. He was a familiar stranger, nearly unknowable.
Your cursor blinked a few more times before you shut your laptop and slid it back inside your beat-up work bag.
“Running off?” He asked, catching you in the act of packing your things. You shook your head and accepted the fresh drink with a smile. “You said you were going to be in Atlanta anyway,” he said as he sat, spreading out, making himself comfortable in the shitty bar seating. “When you were talking about writing about Anna.”
You nodded. “Mhmm, I did,” you replied, chewing the inside of your lip nervously. His gaze was intense, falling just on the other side of casual. You felt tiny under that gaze, like you were guilty of a crime you didn’t know you’d committed.
“And you’re here for Patrick?” The words were nonchalant, but you could hear the accusation beneath them, the history of the two of them just in one sentence. It turned something in your stomach, the possessiveness in his voice. You could hear it, even four years out.
The new drink was strong, but it was the perfect way to hide the distaste in your expression. The burn of liquor into your chest grounded you back in reality instead of the easy allure of nostalgia. “Yeah,” you said after a beat. “I try my best to go to all of his matches.”
Art narrowed his eyes, just slightly. There was still an element of exaggerated friendliness, the casual smile on his lips, the open body language. All of it masking the lingering resentment and hurt that was buried beneath mountains of nostalgia. Deep enough that neither of you had realized it was still there until you found yourselves face to face. There was an unspoken question, one that he didn’t want to ask, one that you didn’t want to answer.
How long?
You took another drink.
“Where is Patrick?” He asked, glancing around like he might materialize out of thin air.
“He went out for a smoke, or to walk around and clear his head, or something,” you said with a shrug. “I’m not his keeper. Where’s Tashi?”
His jaw clenched and he looked away— a sore spot. A scab you wanted to pick at until it bled, dig your nails in. Maybe that was your eighteen-year-old self talking.
“You never used to let her get too far away from you,” you noted, mirth dripping from each syllable. “Bet you came down here looking for her. Your leash must’ve been just a little too loose this time and she slipped it.”
You took a long drink, nails tapping against the glass as you considered your words. Tashi wasn’t the type of woman who let a man hold her back. If you were trying to be more accurate, rather than just piss him off, you might’ve fixed the analogy. Art was the sad little puppy following her around. She tied his leash to a lamp post for a fucking break.
“Do you remember the day Tashi got injured?” He asked, changing the subject suddenly.
You blinked slowly, appraising him. But his expression gave nothing away. “I do.”
A wry smile spread across his lips, and he met your gaze with a coldness that you didn’t recognize. Mean in the way injured animals like to snap at the nearest hand. “It was Patrick in your room that night, wasn’t it?”
Your brows furrowed, face falling at his words. “What?”
He made a face, something akin to skepticism, but crueler. It made your stomach turn.
“You were fucking someone in your room,” he said plainly. “And I’ve always had a suspicion that it was Patrick. Was it?”
That didn’t do much to clear up your confusion. “You were there?”
He laughed, mirthless, and nodded. “I was, uh, sitting by the door like an asshole. I came to apologize, to beg for you back, but instead, I spent the night listening to my girlfriend getting fucked on the other side of the door.”
Annoyance flickered in your gaze. He knew of a wound of your own, and he relished in picking at it the way you’d relished in digging your fingers into his. “I wasn’t your girlfriend, Art.”
“Right, you weren’t. But you’re Patrick’s girlfriend now, is that it?”
Heat burned in your cheeks. Your relationship with Patrick was… tempestuous to say the least. Most of the time he was your boyfriend, but others he was just a friend that you could count on for a good fuck, sometimes not even a friend. At the moment, he was the former, but that could always change.
It wasn’t easy, being with someone whose emotions ran on an equally short fuse. You’d sound too much like his parents, or he’d devalue your work, or Patrick would forget to take out the trash in your apartment and you’d snap, or you’d mispronounce a word one too many times and it would drive him crazy. Insignificant things could feel big with him, because of him. For better or worse.
“At the moment, yes.”
“At the moment.” He echoed, laughing like he was in on some joke you were painfully unaware of.
”That’s amusing to you?” You asked, raising a brow.
He shrugged, picking at his jeans. “Your choice of words is interesting.” He lets that hang in the air before he meets your gaze again. “Do you think Patrick would’ve even noticed you if it hadn’t been for me?”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Does it matter?” You asked. “You realize that we’ve been together going on four years now, right? Broken up, dating, fucking, whatever. You realize that there may be more important things in our life than you?”
“Maybe, but I doubt it. I think you know that whatever you have, it’s built on the fact that you were a warm body when he needed it. Just like you were for me.”
That arrogant expression, like he actually fucking knew anything about you anymore was the last straw. You stood suddenly, grabbing your bag. You weren’t Art Donaldson’s little lapdog anymore— you didn’t have to sit there and take all the shit he doled out.
“Goodnight, Art. Thanks for the drink.”
It was funny, how your weaknesses were still so exposed. Art’s was Tashi, and it probably always would be. His desire to be seen, to impress, painted upon every lovely feature. And yours, raw and bleeding and obvious— the unbearable, visceral need to be wanted.
You made it to the elevator before you felt his presence behind you. Wordless, but so close it was suffocating. You jabbed the up button over and over in frustration, knowing it wouldn’t speed anything up.
Art stepped into the elevator with you, so close you could feel the body heat radiating off of him. He always burned hot, like a human furnace.
It was silent as the lift lurched upwards. You pressed against the back corner, watching the number of the floor increase one by one.
“Patrick is with Tashi,” Art said without looking at you, just as the elevator opened on the floor of your room. You froze, swallowing hard. “I saw them in the hotel bar, then they left together. What do you think they’re doing right now?”
You shook your head dumbly, pulse thrumming in your throat. “Go fuck yourself, Art,” you said weakly, because what else was there to say? You stepped into the hallway— lit with dim yellow light so you couldn’t see where the wallpaper peeled and the carpet was stained.
“If you need somewhere to wait them out, and you will, I’m in room 13 on the seventh floor.” The elevator doors closed, and you were alone.
The hallway was winding, and you felt a bad sort of anticipation of what you might find, like a sick feeling in your gut. You stood in front of the room, 306, and froze.
The door to your room was closed, no light shone from beneath the door, but you could hear them. Muffled, but clear enough. A pretty voice and breathy moans. Patrick’s laugh, the thud of something falling off the dresser.
Your room key was in your purse— you could’ve gotten it out and stopped it, but what good would that have done? You’d still spend the night humiliated, facing opposite walls as Patrick, lying in the same sheets he’d just fucked her in.
You dropped the bag by the door and took a slow, shaky breath to calm yourself down.
Tashi Duncan. She had lingered on the edges of your relationship with Patrick too. She was Patrick’s first choice, just as she’d been Art’s. You’d never blamed them for that, you knew where you stood, and you chose them anyway.
It was easy to choose them when you thought that the threat was nonexistent— when distance made you feel safe. You could hear her and him, but it felt like mere static in your brain.
You knew how Art felt, back at Stanford. Sulking outside the door, unable and unwilling to stop what was happening on the other side.
You were in the elevator before you realized you’d walked away. Shitty soft rock played over the speakers, and a poster on the wall advertised a continental breakfast. Your stomach turned uncomfortably.
You knocked on the door— room thirteen, an unlucky number. Maybe it didn’t bode well. As you waited for the door to open, your nails tapped a staccato rhythm against your thigh.
Art opened the door like he’d been expecting someone else. Maybe he had half-expected you to interrupt and send Tashi back upstairs, but no. He got you standing at his door with fiery eyes and an expectant expression.
Second choice, second choice, second choice.
Art kissed you for the first time in four years, and you let him. Not because you wanted to hurt Patrick or Tashi, but because you knew it would hurt you. His tongue pressed between the seam of your lips like he belonged there, licking into your mouth like he wanted to reclaim every part of you that Patrick had touched. You pushed him with a firm hand on his chest and he stumbled backward into the room. Despite everything, he smiled.
His hotel room was nearly identical to yours and Patrick’s. But you didn’t have time to really take in the details when he had his tongue in your mouth, kissing you hungrily.
That afternoon, you kissed Patrick after he lost his match. You wondered if Art could still taste him on your tongue then, if he wanted to drown out the taste of him.
It was different than you were used to. Four years with Patrick meant that you’d grown accustomed to certain ways that he did things— the intensity behind each kiss, each touch. His emotions— good, bad, in between— were never masked, never repressed.
When Patrick kissed you, when he touched you, when he fucked you— both of you were laid completely bare.
Art was different. When he kissed you it was through a certain level of performance, like he’d learned how from a searing romance film. In college, you’d believed that he kissed you like that because deep down, he did love you. Even at that moment, years out from your relationship with him, it muddled your brain.
Your sensible work heels had long since been kicked off by the door. Art’s fingers undid the button and zip of your jeans deftly, with a confidence that had only doubled since Freshman year. They wound up in a heap against the hotel dresser.
In his haste to remove your (also sensible, and very business casual) button-down, he popped about half of the buttons off completely.
“Sorry,” he said. The grin on his lips made you wonder if sorry was really how he felt. “I’ll buy you a new one.”
“Stop talking.” You pulled off your bra and lost it somewhere across the room in your haste. Art was pulling off his clothes— his hoodie and the shirt beneath. His jeans and shoes toed off and left to be dealt with later.
He kissed you again, guiding you exactly where he needed. Your knees hit the back of the mattress and he eased you down without moving his lips from yours. When your head hit the sheets, you smelled perfume so sweet that it was nearly intoxicating. You turned your head, breathing deeply. Tashi. In this same bed, in this same spot. It made something stir inside you— right in your chest. A hint of wrongness, a hint of hurt.
Art pulled back, moving his lips along your jaw, down to the junction of your throat.
“Stop thinking,” he murmured against your skin, kissing down to your tits. “I don’t want you thinking about Patrick. Not when you’re with me.”
The words were mumbled against soft, supple skin. His eyes were intent as they looked up at you, the demand of momentary fidelity in his eyes. You wanted to slap that expression off of his face, or run your thumb along his cheek and hold his face in your hands.
How was it fair that he asked you that when he’d lingered like a ghost on the edges of whatever it was that you and Patrick had? How was it fair for him to look at you like that?
He took a nipple into his mouth and you gasped as his teeth grazed against the sensitive skin. Soft kisses before he suckled softly. “Okay,” you gasped, lying through your teeth. “I’m only thinking of you.”
His hair was still long, kept the same way he wore it in school. Your fingers tangled in his hair like muscle memory, scratching against his scalp as he kissed along your skin with wet lips, treating your other breast with the same, hungry attention.
“Still so fucking hot,” he mumbled against your skin. “Should’ve— fuck— should’ve kept you. What do you want, huh? Tell me.”
Your mind swam with possibilities, but you didn’t even know where to begin. Your mind was stuck on his previous words. Should’ve kept you. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? “I don’t know,” you replied, completely honest. “Whatever you want.”
He accepted that easily— it was so similar to how you’d been for him in college. You gasped as he kissed down your sternum, then your stomach. His lips found the waistband of your panties and he grinned, tugging at the lace with his teeth, letting it snap back against your hip.
He peeled your panties down slowly, letting his hands trail down the expanse of your legs. The possessiveness of the touch sent a thrill up your spine. His lips grazed along your skin, from your ankle, up your calf, then your knee. Your legs spread instinctively, welcoming him right back where he knew he belonged. His pretty lips trailed wet kisses up your thighs, stopping just where you wanted him.
You expected him to rush. He’d seen Patrick and Tashi leave, which meant they’d finish before you two, more likely than not. There was every reason in the world to make things quick— to fuck you and make you leave.
Instead, he took his time with you. Soft, teasing kisses peppered on the supple skin of your thighs before he nuzzled into your cunt. The first delve of his tongue was slow and exploratory, tasting the arousal that had pooled at your core.
”God, you still taste so fucking sweet.”
Another thing you’d nearly forgotten about Art— in all things, he was methodical.
He started with kitten licks at your clit— light brushes with his tongue that made you whimper needily for more. His tongue circled you there, and he relished in the way your fingers tugged on his hair at the sensation.
Then he wrapped his lips around the sensitive bud, sucking with more pressure until a strangled moan squeezed past your lips. Your thighs tensed on either side of his head, holding him there as he alternated between slow, soothing licks and firm suction.
It was frustrating, how wet you were. Art had brought out the worst in you, turned you into something that left you feeling genuinely embarrassed. And still, you were slick, dripping down to the sheets. A mess of arousal and Art’s spit.
When he eased a finger into your cunt, it slid in like your body was made to fit whatever he could give you. At that point, you very well could have been. What were you, if not an object orbiting in the atmosphere of his life?
He looked up at you, seeming so fucking intent on making it feel good for you as he crooked his finger. It rubbed against the soft, spongy spot within you and you cried out, eyes rolling back.
“That’s it, huh?” He cooed as he pressed a second finger inside of you. Your arm was slung over your face. You couldn’t let yourself keep looking at him when he was looking at you the same way he had in college. The same fucking expression that got your head all mixed up in the first place.
He pressed a soft kiss to your clit and you whimpered. “I know it feels good, baby, just relax.”
His fingers thrust within you with a slow, deep pressure as he continued to make out with your clit. It was always so good with him— you’d nearly forgotten how easy it was for him to bring you to the edge.
When you came, it wasn’t like what you had grown used to with Patrick— sudden and overwhelming, like it had been ripped from some secret place within you. It was intense, but slow to build, seeming to last forever as Art’s fingers and tongue worked you through it. Your breath was shaky as he pulled back, pretty mouth wet with your arousal.
“Do you want to stop?” He asked, looking up at you expectantly.
You should’ve stopped— rationally, you knew that it was best to turn back and quit before you fucked up the situation beyond repair.
But it was Art. He could’ve had anyone else, but he wanted you. Maybe not forever, or even longer than that night. But for then.
You shook your head softly. “No. Do you think we should stop?”
His fingers moved between your thighs, circling your clit. “We definitely should. You’re with Patrick.”
You sighed, eyes fluttering as he caressed you with featherlight touches. “Don’t fucking talk about him,” you said, but your words came out with no bite. How could they, when he was playing with your body like a favorite toy?
“No?” He asked. He was wearing a smug sort of expression. “You don’t want me to talk about your boyfriend, huh? Too personal?”
You moaned as he applied more pressure at the apex of your thighs, making your cunt clench and ache to be filled.
“Does Patrick know how much you’ve missed me?” He asked. Your breath caught in your throat, and he just smiled. “I bet he does. I think he knows that if he just drops my name in a conversation, your pussy gets wet.”
You moaned softly at his words, chest heaving with soft pants. You weren’t even sure if it was true, but it felt like it could’ve been then. He leaned down, his words spoken close to your ear.
“I can go slow. Make it last for you.” His lips brushed the shell of your ear, making you shiver.
You nodded eagerly, turning your head to capture his lips with yours. The kiss was slow, like you had all the time in the world. His tongue against yours, the weight of his body on top of you, the feel of him hard, pressing against your thigh.
He sat back to strip off his boxers, and you relished in the sight of him laid bare before you. You’d nearly forgotten how pretty he was— big and flushed nearly red with need. It made your heart hammer with nerves; your excitement and shame and need rolled into one messy, electrifying tangle.
His hair flopped into his eyes as he held himself over you, just like you remembered. You reached up, brushing it out of his eyes with a tender hand. His lips brushed against the inside of your wrist, right where your pulse thrummed in your veins.
“Tell me you’ve missed me.”
Heat flooded your entire body, as you repeated the words. “I missed you, Art.” You reached between your bodies, wrapping your hand around his cock, and guiding it towards your entrance. He moaned and bucked instinctively into your hand.
”Tell me you want me to fuck you, no one else.” You could hear the implications in his words. Tell me you want me, not Patrick.
“I want you to fuck me.”
Art pressed himself inside of you, sinking into the welcoming warmth of your cunt. You wrapped your legs around his waist, squeezing him closer, deeper, until his balls pressed firm against you and there was nothing else to give.
He thrust shallowly, rocking against a spot deep within you, one that made your eyes flutter with each brush against it.
“You’re so tight still,” he moaned, lips moving against your throat. “Pussy’s made just for me.”
He touched you like he hadn’t forgotten how you felt or what you needed. Spoke to you like you were one of his possessions.
You lost yourself in it— the sweet, filthy words spoken against your skin, and the rhythm of his body moving against yours. His lips captured yours with a hungry insistence, like he could convey four years' worth of unspoken words with a few brushes of his tongue against yours.
When he pulled back, lips spit slick and looking so pretty, you thought maybe there was a sort of understanding between the two of you.
His head fell back as he sped up his thrusts, chasing his release. There wasn’t time to stretch it out, to spend as much time as you could with each other’s bodies.
“Need you to cum,” he said, sliding a hand between your thighs to rub your still-sensitive clit. Your cunt was squeezing him tight, body aching for it, for him, brought to the edge simply because he’d asked for it. “C’mon— you get so tight when you cum, need to feel it again.”
It was like your body was hardwired to give him exactly what he wanted. You came with broken moans of his name and legs squeezing him closer, deeper. Your chest heaved with shaking breaths and punched out whimpers as he kept fucking into you.
He was practically crushing you with his weight, pinning you down, groaning into the junction of your shoulder.
“Gonna make me cum, baby,” his words vibrated against skin tacky with a thin sheen of sweat.
”Want you to.” Your arms slung around his back, holding him close to you. “I’ve got an IUD, so you can— you can cum.”
His lips met yours as he came, with a pretty moan into your open mouth and slow, messy kisses that made you want to just melt into him and stay that way forever.
Spent, he rolled over and turned on a lamp at the bedside. The alarm clock announced the time in a dim red glow— five past one.
You lay there, damp between your thighs from the mixture of your releases, unsure of what to do. It was cold beneath the hotel AC. He was peering over at you, wearing an expression you were scared to dissect.
When his hand touched your arm, you nearly flinched. Your breath caught in your throat as he ran his thumb along your skin, so sweetly that you felt that same discomfort tug at your chest.
“C’mere,” he said, an offer. His arm was splayed over the pillows, giving you the perfect spot to lie down and press yourself against his side. To pretend like you belonged there.
But you didn’t belong there. You belonged four floors down with Patrick. That’s where you had belonged for four years. The reality of what you’d done had set in quickly, and you knew you needed to get out of Art’s room.
”Art,” you said softly, shaking your head. “I have to go.”
He nodded and sat up against the headboard. You watched him grab his boxers and pull them back on, a strange smile on his face. He must’ve sensed your confusion, even without you saying.
“It’s funny how things change,” he said. “Here I am, asking you to stay for once.”
You didn’t say anything as you picked up your clothes from around the room, redressing as you recovered each piece from its hiding spot around the room. Your shirt was unsalvageable, so you grabbed Art’s. He had plenty of brand sponsors that would jump to replace it, and Patrick wouldn’t recognize it.
“I loved you, I think,” he said suddenly. “Back in college.”
You froze, arms crossed over your chest as you looked at him. “Art—“
“No, I did. I loved you, I just did it all wrong.”
“Art, just stop,” you said firmly. Embarrassment hit you all at once— the guilt of what you’d done, and the shame over who you’d done it with. Your eyes stung as you looked at him. “Why the fuck would you say that?”
His lips twitched, dipping into a frown, then back into as close to a neutral expression as he could manage. “I just thought you should know. It’s only fair.”
You laughed mirthlessly. “Fair? Jesus Christ, you really haven’t changed, Art.”
His expression fell completely. It looked like it had back in the hotel bar— icy. “I haven’t changed? What’s that supposed to mean?”
You sighed as you looked at him. “It means that if this were Stanford, that would’ve made me crawl right back into bed, lay by your side, and daydream about what it could mean for us. If one day I might be Mrs. Art Donaldson. It means that you say these sweet things to me every time you can feel me slipping away, but they mean absolutely nothing. We’re not nineteen anymore, Art. I’m not leaving Patrick to be your plaything again.”
His jaw tensed, and he looked down at the bed briefly while he picked at loose threads on the sheets. “You think that’s what I want?”
You frowned. “I think you want what Patrick has.”
He scoffed. “Patrick doesn’t even want what he has,” he said, relishing in the wounded look on your face. “If he did, he wouldn’t be fucking my fiancée right now.”
Fiancée. You felt stupid for not knowing it, but you swallowed down your hurt and met his gaze. “I guess we’re both going to have to be content with being the second choice.” You slipped on your shoes and went for the door. “Good luck with your match tomorrow, Art. I sincerely hope that I never have to see you again.”
The hallway felt colder when you stepped outside of the room and shut the door firmly behind you. A very big part of you wanted to go back, to knock and apologize and grovel like you might have when you were a freshman.
Maybe you hadn’t grown up that much after all.
The elevator was playing Billy Joel. You leaned against the side of the elevator, relishing in the cold against your sticky skin. When the doors opened on your floor and you stepped out, you blinked in surprise.
Tashi stood in front of you for the first time since college, looking just as stunning as you remembered, probably more so. Her hair was pulled up, slightly damp at the ends. Her eyes flicked down to your shirt, Art’s shirt, you swallowed as an understanding passed between the two of you— wordless, because what was there to say at that point?
”You left your laptop in the hallway,” she said, skipping formalities. “I took it inside so it wouldn’t get stolen.”
“Okay,” you said, chewing on your lip. She stood there like she expected something more. You felt her surveying you, and froze as she reached forward and rubbed at your bottom lip.
“He could’ve at least cleaned you up a bit,” she said. Her fingers delicately fixed your hair, tucking it back into place. She wiped a smudge of lipstick from the side of your mouth. Once there was nothing left to fix, she looked at you one last time and nodded. “You should be fine now.”
Before you could process that, she stepped into the elevator, and you were left alone in the hallway. When you made it to the room, the door was cracked open, so you let yourself in.
Patrick was on the balcony smoking a cigarette, a towel slung low around his waist. The bed was a fucking wreck, not that he seemed to mind.
When the door clicked shut, he stubbed out the cigarette he was smoking and joined you back in the room.
“Are we going to talk about it?” He asked. His jaw tensed as he looked at you, like he was ready if you were going to start a fight.
“I just want to go to bed, Patrick,” you said, annoyed by how wobbly and pathetic you sounded.
He stepped forward and kissed your forehead. “Okay. We’ll go to bed.”
You kicked off your clothes, but left on Art’s hoodie. Patrick didn’t ask where it came from, or what happened to what you were wearing earlier. You knew he already knew, that he could tell the moment you walked in. He dropped the towel onto a heap on the floor, climbed into the bed, and held out his arms for you.
A stronger person would’ve told him to fuck off, but you weren’t a stronger person. You nestled into his side and felt the hot sting of tears in your eyes.
He rubbed your back soothingly and kissed your forehead. The sheets smelled like Tashi, he smelled like hotel soap, and you smelled like Art’s cologne.
“Do you want room service in the morning?” He asked softly.
“Patrick—“
“I’m serious. We can have breakfast in bed, do some tourist-y shit, maybe we’ll go watch a couple of matches, then come back and—“
“Are we supposed to just forget what happened?” You interrupted.
“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.” He kissed your forehead, tender, sweet. “I’ll tell you everything if that’s what you want.”
You met his gaze. “Do you… do you want to know? About Art?”
He went quiet as he played with the ends of your hair. “Did it make you feel any better?” He finally asked.
“Yeah,” you said softly. “Then it didn’t.”
He kissed the crown of your head. “No?”
You shook your head, sighing softly as his kisses trailed down, over your nose, to the sides of your mouth. “No. It was a mistake.”
”Tell me about it,” he said, murmuring against your jaw. “Tell me how he touched you.”
You shivered, tilting your head to give him more access. Your nails scratched softly against his scalp as he sucked bruises onto your throat.
“He was desperate,” you said, heart hammering as you began recounting it to Patrick— your boyfriend. There was no world in which he should’ve wanted to hear about it… and yet. He moaned against your throat, encouraging you, wanting to know more. “Kissed me like he wanted to taste you in my mouth, like he wanted to overpower you.”
Patrick moved his lips to yours, kissing you with a sloppy brush of his tongue against yours. “Like that?”
You shook your head and leaned in, deepening the kiss with slow laps of your tongue into his mouth. He moaned softly, matching your pace in a way that was rare, but made butterflies dance around in your stomach. He pulled you on top of him— hands roaming from the backs of your thighs to squeeze your ass as he deepened the kiss. It was just as slow and sweet as before, but you could sense the need and hunger behind it.
You pulled back, just enough to remove your lips from his. Both of your breaths came in needy pants. You weren’t sure why you were enjoying this, but you were, so you kept going. “He took off my clothes, and laid me down on the bed.”
Patrick moaned, chasing your lips. You sat back and just looked at him— lying there with still-damp curls, his pupils blown with lust. His cock was hard, resting against his stomach, precum beading at the tip.
You pulled off Art’s hoodie and tossed it across the room, relishing in the way Patrick’s eyes raked over every bit of exposed skin like it was the first time he’d seen it. “He ate me out, made me cum on his fingers first, then again while he was inside of me,” Patrick’s breath caught, just for a moment. Desire, or jealousy, or both flickered across his gaze. “He fucked me like he wanted me to fall in love with him again.”
Patrick’s chest was heaving as you moved a hand between your bodies, grasping his cock in your hand, stroking slowly. “Is that how you fucked Tashi? Like you wanted her to pick you instead of her fiancé?” He moaned as your thumb ran over his slit, smearing the precum that had begun to dribble out.
“No,” He groaned. You nodded encouragingly, squeezing him tighter in your fist. “Fuck. I fucked her like I wanted her to know she made a mistake. Made her cum until she tapped out”
You ran a thumb over his bottom lip, tugging slightly. “With this pretty mouth, huh?” He nodded, wordlessly. “And with this?” You gave a slow stroke of his dick, making him buck up into your fist. Another nod.
“Show me.”
Patrick’s brows furrowed in disbelief. “Show you?”
You nodded and continued stroking him. “I told you about Art, so I want you to show me how you fucked Tashi.”
You recognized the fucking insanity of what you were asking, but you didn’t care. It was a strange form of closure— closing the circle, or whatever.
“Fuck, okay. Lay back,” he said, patting your thigh. You slid off his lap and settled atop the sheets, watching him expectantly.
His fingers hooked in the waistband of your panties, and he slid them down slowly. “Fuck.” Your cheeks flooded with heat as he held the sodden fabric up, wet and sticky with Art’s cum. He groaned and hooked your thighs over his shoulders. “That’s… god, that’s really fucking hot, baby.”
Oh. The mix of embarrassment and desire was something new— burning hot in the pit of your stomach as Patrick licked at your pussy, tasting the evidence of your arousal mingling with Art’s release. He moaned against you, holding you so tightly that his fingers dimpled your thighs.
His tongue lapped at your entrance, pushing into your cunt as deep as he could manage, then back to licking at your clit. It was messy— a combination of spit and cum and your juices.
“Fuck!” You cried out, tugging his hair as he sealed his lips around your clit. He moaned loudly against you, encouraging you to do it again, the fucking masochist.
He redoubled his efforts, pulling you closer, moaning against your cunt. It was like he wanted to devour you, to lick up every bit of Art that was left inside of you. You wanted him to try— you wanted him to replace every part of Art that was left in your body and soul.
“Patrick,” you gasped. He murmured an mhmm against your pussy. Eyes closed, right at home between your thighs, lost in the taste of you. “Need you inside.”
He planted one, two sloppy kisses to your clit before he pulled back, his lips shiny with your arousal. He wiped the mess away with the back of his hand, smirking down at you. “You need me, huh?”
You nodded, chest heaving with each panting breath. Patrick sat down at the headboard and patted his thigh. “Prove it.”
You sat up, crawling up the bed until you were straddling his lap. “You made her do all the work?”
He laughed, running his hands up your thighs to squeeze your ass, tug you closer. “I didn’t make her do anything.” Patrick had a hand wrapped around his cock, and you moaned softly as he guided it between your thighs to notch at your entrance.
You sank down slowly, forehead pressed against his as you took inch after inch. “Fuck,” you breathed. You leaned forward, brushing your lips against his as you gave a slow roll of your hips. “Fuck. You’re so deep, Pat. Feels so good.”
His head fell back against the headboard as you began to ride him in earnest. “Fuck, just like that,” he groaned, still wearing that fucking smirk, even balls deep inside of you. “That’s it, baby, take what you need.”
And you did. The way he was looking at him was proof enough, he was eating up every fucking second of you fucking yourself on him, using him like a toy.
Your noises were near-pornographic— Right there, fuck, you’re so big baby, so fucking deep.
The poor soul next door slammed on the wall, begging for you to just shut the fuck up. Patrick silenced you with a hungry kiss— a mess of tongues and spit. His fingers moved on your clit, pulling you towards the edge with desperate need.
“Close,” you gasped.
He nodded, moving his fingers faster. “I know you are. I’ve got you.”
You collapsed on top of him as you came— hips canting weakly as he worked you through it. He thrust up into your tight walls, groaning at the feeling of your cunt spasming around his cock.
“Fuck, you feel so perfect,” he groaned, burying his face into the junction of your throat. “Gonna cum— fuck—“
You moaned softly at the feeling of him spilling inside of you— the soft pulse of him, the warmth of his cum flooding your cunt. You stayed on his lap, kissing his freckled nose, his eyelids, his mouth.
When you finally moved off of him, you whimpered at that loss of fullness, and of the slick mess seeping out between your thighs. If you were smart, you would’ve gone and cleaned up, but there was nothing more you wanted than to lay there in Patrick’s arms and fall asleep.
Whatever. You’d leave housekeeping a very generous tip. He sighed contentedly as you lay there— like you were made to fit against him perfectly. A warm hand rubbed comforting circles on your back, and you felt so at home, even in an Atlanta hotel.
“I love you, you know that?” He asked.
You looked up and nodded. “I know. I love you too.”
You found yourself staring up over at Patrick with a stupid, persistent smile on your face. He turned to watch you watching him, wearing a matching grin on his face. It was hard to tell who started laughing first— you or Patrick. At the absurdity of it all, at yourselves.
“God, we’re so messed up,” you said, with another laugh.
He nodded. “Really messed up, but whatever. Apparently your brain isn’t even fully developed until you’re 25.”
“Great, so we have one more year until we’re normal, rational adults.” He laughed, holding you against his chest.
He reached over and kissed your forehead. You were so sticky and gross that you really needed a shower, but, again— it was a tomorrow problem.
It fell quiet, and you could feel yourself slipping into comfortable drowsiness when Patrick finally spoke up. “Are we going to be okay?”
You blinked slowly. With your hand resting on his chest, you could feel his heart thudding just beneath your palm.
When you were twenty, you met Patrick’s parents. Crowded into his childhood bed with your head resting against his chest, his heart pounded as he apologized for the intense grilling you’d received that night at dinner. It was the first time you ever felt like his bravado had been shaken, like you were seeing through to the core of him.
You always knew you would be the one to say you loved him first— it was just the way things went. “I don’t care if they like me,” you had assured him. “I love you.” His heart beat harder, faster. He didn’t say it back until two days later, when he was fucking you in that very same bed— forehead to yours, skin sticky with sweat. “I love you,” breathed into your mouth like air.
When you were twenty-two, you moved into an apartment in Manhattan and Patrick followed like a housecat— no rent, no job, just company and a mouth to feed. The tour wasn’t going well, and you were working for a shitty, clickbait news site that hardly covered the cost of your place.
Things were good, mostly. Comfortable, domestic. Patrick tried to be a good boyfriend, you tried to be a good girlfriend. Both of you were trying to figure out what that meant for the other as best as you could. Patrick would bring you flowers from the corner store and take you out for drinks and dancing on weekends. You’d drive out on holidays to visit his family and wind up leaving early to go back to the comforts and peace of your apartment.
When you could, you’d follow him out to tournaments. If he won, he’d take you out with the prize money. If he lost, you’d take him back to the hotel to cheer him up.
On rough days, one of you would come home to the apartment and pick a fight over laundry, or a dish left in the sink, or even what he’d left on TV, and the other would give it back tenfold. Your neighbors would beat on their walls in annoyance as you yelled at each other, until one of you slammed a door and sulked in another room for a few hours, or you had make-up sex that gave the neighbors another reason to bang on their walls.
The breakups were infrequent but severe. You’d kick Patrick out, he’d live out of his car, or in a motel, or fuck off to some tennis tournament that you’d previously promised to go to. One of you always broke first, returning to the other with promises of love, and to do better.
You did love each other, really. And things usually got better. It was just easy to live with your feelings dialed up to a ten where Patrick was involved: bigger good moments, worse bad ones.
Your career had vastly improved. Patrick had moved up in the rankings, only slightly, but it was something. You could afford a bigger apartment in a nicer area, maybe get a dog. And you didn’t just want those things alone, you wanted them with him.
You pressed a kiss to the center of his chest and nodded. “We’ll be fine,” you assured. It felt like the truth.
He nodded, looking down at you. His freckles were so much more pronounced after tournament after tournament in the blazing sun. “Yeah, probably.”
The next morning, you both got the continental breakfast you’d seen in the elevator while housekeeping dealt with the aftermath of the previous night. You did tourist-y shit— went to a museum, found a nice spot for lunch.
At the end of the day, you sat in the oppressive Atlanta heat with Patrick and watched Art Donaldson win his tennis match. You and Patrick left early, fucked in the backseat of his car, and decided to head home early.
As you started the drive back, you held his hand over the center console and listened to a shitty mix CD with songs he’d ripped off of LimeWire. You gave him shit when Kelly Clarkson followed Lil Wayne, but you both sang along to every fucking word.
You were right. You and Patrick would probably be fine.
#patrick zweig x reader#art donaldson fanfic#patrick zweig fanfic#art donaldson x reader#patrick zweig#art donaldson#challengers 2024#challengers fanfic#challengers x reader#changeover au#my writing
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hiiii!! can i ask for a fic where reader (aka viscountess) is helping benedict with a lady he's falling in love with, but they're basically scheming and secretive and Anthony gets suspicious and a little jealous/upset? thanks!!!!!
Hello nonny! I've been going back and forth on posting this mostly because I don't feel like it's very good but I hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: jealous!Anthony
Word Count: 1.1K
The day had dawned, and it seemed you had blinked the night away after a previously tedious day. Your duties as Viscountess had significantly grown since Lady Bridgerton had started to hand over most of the reigns of the house. With some spare time on your hands, you spent most of your day in the main hall amongst everyone as you poured yourself some tea before returning to your reading. With a hint of mystery in his eyes, Benedict strolled into the room and stood beside you, making himself busy with the book you had just put down on the tray.
"Viscountess now, is it?" He teased in a hushed tone to not alert the siblings of his untimely arrival. Benedict always had a way of easily slipping in and out of sight, with his mama distracted with his other sibling's endeavors.
"It would appear so." You offered him a warm smile while pouring some tea for yourself. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Benedict?" Although most may not understand your relationship with your new brother-in-law, this is how it has always been since your courtship with Anthony. How you managed to keep up flawlessly in between constant banter with his siblings was just one of the things Anthony loved most about you. And Benedict was no exception.
"It seems I find myself in need of your assistance." The unusual hesitance in his voice piqued your interest. Benedict was never one to shy away from a challenge, let alone hold his tongue. "There is a lady who I would like to…pursue."
"As in courting? The Benedict Bridgerton interested in seriously courting someone? Why I'd never thought I'd see the day." Your words dripped with sarcasm, but as you turned toward Benedict, it was clear this was no joke, making you reconsider your teasing, at least for now. "I apologize; I did not realize this was a serious matter." His eyes still trained on the tea before you. "If it is my assistance you require with the matter, I will help you."
"Really?" He leaned back, head up with a cocked brow.
"You are my brother now. And if this lady is as suitable of a match as you are implying, I will do everything in my power to assure your courtship to her."
"You care about me?" His teasing returned, making you resist the urge to roll your eyes toward him, but a smile crept up nonetheless.
"Of course, I care. We are family. Now, let's get to it before I regret this entire thing."
Anthony paced around his office, unable to focus on a single task all day. His desk was littered with papers needing attention, but all he could focus on was how odd you'd been acting as of late. Your presence was scarce around the house, although your duties were always tended to. Anthony missed having you as close by as he was accustomed to since your marriage. Of course, he caught glimpses of you throughout the day, but you always seemed to be scurrying off somewhere. He couldn't help but notice Benedict lingering nearby at every event he'd been to in the last couple of weeks, engaging you in conversation whenever he stepped away, even for a moment. Anthony knew he had no reason to be envious; you were his wife, and you loved each other dearly. But that didn't stop him from suppressing a surge of jealousy at the thought of you and Benedict spending so much time together. Impossible thoughts swirled through his mind, straying him further and further away from any rational thinking until his feet carried him faster than he could stop himself as he called the carriage.
The day was as warm as it was humid; the lush field was decorated with tents showcasing various vendors as the ton gathered. You had spent the better part of your time in the last couple of weeks preparing Benedict as much as possible, covering everything from appropriate topics of conversation to enticing the young woman to yearn for more interactions with him. It had been a challenging task. For every ounce of natural charm Benedict possessed, his soon-to-be lady seemed to be immune to it at every turn. Every challenge she presented seemed to draw Benedict closer. It was daunting, to say the least, but today would be the day. The garden party was the event of the social season, and you knew for a fact that she would make an appearance today. Benedict came up beside you, eyes set on her almost immediately. You glanced toward him, watching intently as his face softened, a smile deepening with every second he laid his eyes on her. Your heart warmed; whatever Benedict felt for this lady, you understood it was exactly what he had been searching for.
"Are you ready?" He snapped out of it and nodded toward you. "Go on then." Benedict readied himself, taking comfort in the fact that you would be nearby. But as soon as he stepped forward, he felt a hand grip his shoulder and move him back toward you.
"My dear brother," Anthony kept his tone hushed so as not to alarm any of the ton members standing nearby. "I will make haste so we may continue with the day's festivities. Care to clarify as to why you are spending so much of your time with my wife?" You and Benedict shared a look, holding back a laugh.
"I'd prefer not to; I'm rather entertained at the moment." Benedict crossed his arms before him, aiming his shit-eating grin at Anthony.
"Truly, Anthony, you could not make any more of a fool of yourself than you already are." You huffed as you turned toward your husband. "May I speak to you in private?" Anthony hesitated before he took your hand and walked you to an isolated part of the lake away from the chaos.
"If you must know, I was asked to help your brother pursue someone. I have been guiding him on proper conversation topics and ways to impress the young lady he has shown interest in. That is all. And if you are indeed insinuating there would be absolutely anything inappropriate happening between your brother and I then you truly do not know me at all."
"That is not what I thought-I-You were only spending so much time with Benedict, and I allowed my temper to best me; I only missed your company." His apologetic look had you softening under his gaze. "I apologize."
"Next time, simply ask before you allow your mind to run rampant with impossible thoughts, hm?" He nodded before taking your hand and bringing it to his lips. Anthony lead you back toward the gathering to find Benedict wholly entranced in a rather enticing conversation with his lady.
"It seems like you did well, my love," Anthony whispered toward you, tapping your hand, which was now holding onto his arm. "Looks like my brother might find his match after all."
Mini Tag List: @bugnug @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @thethreeeyed-raven @ssprayberrythings @fatbottomedvirgo @fictional-hooman @sky0401 (let me know if you would like to added by leaving a comment here or dm me if you’d like to be added/removed)
I DO NOT HAVE WATTPAD. I do not consent to having my work reposted, translated, or published to any third party site or app. if anyone sees my work anywhere that is not ao3/tumblr or under any other username that is not whispersoftheton, it has been reposted without my permission
#bridgerton#anthony bridgerton#bridgerton netflix#anthony bridgerton imagine#anthony bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton fluff#anthony bridgerton smut#anthony bridgerton fanfiction#anthony bridgerton x y/n#anthony bridgerton x you#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton season 2
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The basketball scene foreshadows the love triangle and it's conclusion.
Buck, first of all, doesn't want to go with Eddie- despite him always offering- but goes when Eddie’s attention is seemingly all on Tommy. Deeper meaning: He didn't know he wanted Eddie until someone else had a chance.
He bumps into Tommy first, quite by accident. Tommy doesn't even flinch. He is unbending and unwavering. Buck stumbles into another relationship, with Tommy, who doesn't yield to anything regarding Buck at all.
Then he faces Eddie, who literally says “you ain't getting past me,” before Buck makes it his mission to hit him. And, unlike his bump into Tommy, Buck shoving Eddie was deliberate. He planned it, you could see it in his face, and besides that a foul like that in the game isn't usually an accident anyway (from what I've been told. I'm no sports expert).
And, unlike Tommy, who didn't budge at all, Eddie completely toppled. He completely folded to Buck where Tommy stood firm. Kinda like how Tommy didn't follow Buck's request for the bachelor party theme and Eddie supported Buck? (And literally any other piece of either relationship, that's just the most obvious example).
(There's something to be said about Buck freezing when he realizes what he did though that I haven't figured out yet).
So the plan after Tommy is really interesting. Oliver said Buck would get a love interest he had to work for. (Something something you don't find it, you make it). Since the game already foreshadowed the beginning of BT, it's likely it foreshadowed the beginning of buddie too.
So. Buck will get his feelings realization first and actually pursue Eddie, rather than waiting for Eddie to make a move. Not only will this realization be “I have a crush on Eddie” it will be “I'm in love with Eddie” because of the “you ain't getting past me” line. Once Buck realizes it's Eddie, it's Eddie. That's it for him. It'll take work though, Buck has to grow past the hamster wheel, Eddie has to grieve Shannon, but once they realize what they want- who they want- that's it.
And since Eddie takes off down the court first, he's going to get a realization too, and understand it a lot sooner and a lot more than Buck. But Buck catches up to him, and when they do collide, Eddie's not going to fight it. Buck will confess, and Eddie won't deny it one bit.
#got distracted looking for something in the framing and this happened#its insane actually#911#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#9-1-1#s7#7x04#911 meta#buddie meta#we're getting somewhere
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I am very very attracted to my boss and it's driving me insane. There's this amazing chemistry and tension between us and all day long we're just teasing eachother and flirting. We're always gravitating towards eachother and happy to see eachother, finding excuses to work together, etc. He is, however, a straight man twice my age who has a girlfriend and I'm a trans guy who could be completely misreading our interactions. Straight guys often banter and "flirt" with eachother so maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe he's just excited to be some sort of a mentor figure to me and he likes to be admired, and likes to see me grow and learn, and that's all there is to it. He calls me his protege which I find incredibly hot. Anyway I'm seriously contemplating whether I should confess my attraction. I'm not really anticipating him to reciprocate, but would do it more so to get rejected so I would be able to stop fantasizing about him all day long and give myself some closure. On the other hand, I don't want to humiliate myself and create a possible distance or awkwardness between us. There would be no consequences for my job so that's not an issue. I was wondering if you have any words of wisdom for me? You always have such a unique yet sobering outlook on things and I would love to hear your thoughts on this situation.
"Unique yet sobering outlook"! That's the kind of compliment I would have put in the word document alongside all my favorite feedback from English professors back in the day when I still needed that. Sincerely, thank you.
I am of several minds with regard to your question. On the one hand, I think straight people are terminally monogamous most of the time and that it would be hell on earth to get involved with this man and draw the potential ire of his girlfriend even if they weren't.
I think it's usually a self-hating maneuver to date a straight man as a trans masc (I have been there, it is terrible) but as a gay man, I support the frisson of danger that comes with seducing a heterosexual and think it would be a baller little feather in your cap to ruin this man's identity and relationship for a fling with you, even if it would be destined to end in agony.
I hear that this misadventure will not affect your job, but I don't exactly understand how that could be true. It sounds as if you work together quite closely and that his flirty banter is part of what makes the gig pleasant, and even if he doesn't have the capacity to fire you (I'm guessing) this affair could devastate the vibe enough that someone else might step in and fire you for its indirect consequences. happens sometimes.
Part of me however does believe in "fuck it we ball" and in being a bit reckless when you find yourself in a moment of raw, transfixing chemistry. chasing after fascinating moments that are destined to shatter our hearts is one of the core aspects of being alive. It keeps us growing, fills us with vigor! Who doesn't want to one day have an interesting story of a love affair like that?
One of my follow up questions would be how rare this kind of connection is for you. If it were me? Someone I truly connect with on the level you are describing is rare, and I've been willing to risk upending my life as i know it over a fleeting few weeks or months of passion before, and sometimes it's been worth it! Some mistakes are worth making, because we will become stronger and more interesting people after they happen!
But another part of me also thinks "straight men flirt with eachother sometimes" makes no sense and that what you are likely experiencing is him not seeing you as a man, or doing the thing some sensitive straight guys do of leeching attention off of queer men to feed their egos. (Which isn't evil, we all need attention sometimes, but it can be devastating.). If he lets you down because he sees you as a man and is not gay, that might relieve the pressure for you and work out fine. If he is into you because he doesn't see you as a man, you two will fuck and it will be horrible in the long term probably. But maybe hot in the short term.
I also think there are probably hotter ways to play this one (and more strategically effective ones) than a straight-up love confession, which would probably force him to bring up his girlfriend as the reason not to pursue it.
I think if you really want to SEDUCE this man you should spend time with him after work, ask him to mentor you on a labor intensive but potentially rewarding project, disclose little personal details that endear him to you, ask him lots of questions about himself, allow him to open up to you about his life... and then strike.
I think it'll be interesting if you go for it, at least. I certainly want to hear the story. But I don't want you to get fired, lose a mentorship that is important to your career, or get your ass beat by the gf.
So I will also tap my followers for their feedback.
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SO KI-KISSABLE!
*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Non-idol AU — Boyfie!Yeonjun × Girlfie!AFAB!Reader
*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Appetizer — You can't kiss your boyfriend without him teasing the life out of you even when he is asleep.
*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Disclaimer — This is PURE FICTION : Nothing in this work aligns with the idols' character, moral and their real life. The characters are all legal adults ( 18+ ) and everything happening around & to them is entirely consensual. Readers are humbly advised to read the Contains and Disclaimer before they read.
*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Word Count — 2.3k+ (bye)
*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Contains — FLUFF, minor friendly! kisses (my obsession with kisses and his lips at peak), a little of flashbacks, hyper reader ig, soft Yeonjun, flirty yeonjun, and of course as title says— a lots of kisses, banter in the end ig, a little cuddling and kissing almost taking turns to make out(?)
*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Noulli's Note — as a proof I am alive and this thought randomly mushroomed when I was about to sleep so boom! I had fun writing this really, I'm the one who complains writing is harder than physics but this one changed my mind~ my first full-fldeged intended fluff, hope you all like it <3
Uh well. I wrote this in sheer brainrot (the quickest fic I have ever worked on in less than 24 hours) I'm too scared but Idk why. The ending is again half-assed (T^T)
Your eyelids flutter open when sunlight directly slaps you in face at dawn, groaning and cursing at the sun to- "lower your brightness, sun!" It is the best night you have ever had and sun can't be so cruel to cock-block it so soon, it is your first night (actually morning) with him, afterall.
The rods in your eyes can barely contain the light seeming to flash into your eyes. You await some kind of butterflies or birds to fly over in your room and spread the curtains like in the Cinderella.
...
Well no birds or flies seem interested in closing curtains for you, the fact still not settling in your morning head.
"Ugh, wish I was Cinderella.."
Your mind surely is taking time to yet work, until you deduce that no one is gonna block the sunlight for you. To avoid yourself of the struggle you turn to other side, to your boyfriend for almost two weeks now, the best and the only blessing in your life.
He is also the tease master who has given you heart attacks last night with his cheeky lines and cuddles.
Yeonjun is made to cherish his beloved with everything in his will and ability— his actions especially servicing and romantic to his sweetheart (aka you (me too)), he knows exactly when and how easily to trigger your heart and have you burst into a reaction bomb of squeals.
It isn't that you're passive in love, your hyper reactions just swell his heart and motivate him in a way that he feels worthy to have you. Hence, teasing you is his side profession in your relationship where he takes a fine a share of delight in it.
It is not your first time to have fallen in love, yet your heart is explosive at any of the things Yeonjun does to you: from the little carding of hairstrands behind your ears to soft kisses, anywhere, on you. And he loves that about you, almost exploding into your squeals and laughter that he is all heart eyes to binge watch.
As if kissing the back of your hands as a pledge to treasure you forever had not robbed you off the ability to speak when Yeonjun asked you, "will you be my girlfriend, darling?" Your heart had almost combusted out at the soft touch of his lips, for almost a second your hands wished to be glued there, at his mouth. It had taken minutes for you to say yes.
The first kiss wasn't as embarrassing as establishing your relationship — his lips saying hi to yours for the first time was something really soft. His lips were more plushy than the plushies themselves, so plump, so sweet and so wide— capturing yours into his lips was so natural, it felt like once in, never out.
It had you wanting to continue for long, your lips finding home onto his. Hardly letting him pull off of your lips, you had him breathless then and everytime you kissed him. He has consumed you wholly since then — from the thought beginning your day to the ones ending it, he has become your everything.
Yeonjun certainly does own your heart rentfree, but his lips swarm the whole of it.
Developing a soft spot for his lips can't really let you miss this sight when you turn to him: he is facing you; deep in slumber while his hands seem lonely, resting on the mattress with nothing to grope on or drape around; his lips plumped as if they already aren't and his closed eyes with his pretty lashes painting their shadows at under eye.
Yeonjun is cute, his feather like lineaments to always doted on, but this is... something else.. a sleepy frame so adorned with beautiful hair ornamenting his glowing face resembling a sparkly water under sunset. The tiniest features on his face meet the light, the smallest of minute acne on his cheeks, facial hair highlighted, his adam's apple and collar bone glimmering along his face, he looks so extraordinarily gorgeous.
Your heart is doing gymnastics with excitement at max, your lazy sleepiness immediately whooshing away at the sight your eyes refuse to blink at.
How is he so beautiful, and why- mine? are the thoughts beatboxing at perfect sync with your pounding heart, the said beat drumming in your own ears to blur out the noises of chirping sparrows and beeping traffic down your building.
You are zoned out in him, your eyes seeming to photograph all his beauty into your memory, your cognizance capturing every little detail at its finest bit by bit. You don't even seem to have the mind to grab your phone under the pillow & actually photograph it, when your eyes now discover his rosy lips.
Are there rose petals under the skin of his lips? you mindlessly wonder when your hands work faster than your impulses do and trace his lips but you retract. You can't touch him so he wakes up and barely give you any chance to adore him peacefully by flirting the hearts out of you. He is so mesmerizing, everything blurs around him, forming an enhanced portrait of him.
"He is.. so ki-kissable!" A little squeal already escapes your mouth before you could even process it and you turn away, calming your palpitations almost bursting out those not-so little squeals and laughters of excitement which will waken him, undoubtedly.
Palming at your heart, almost strangling your chest and exhaling as noiselessly as you could, you face him again, hoping you'd relax but your cheeks are the best place for crimson tints to happily color at, in these moments with your boyfriend.
His plumpy lips are glossed by sunlight, urging you from the cores of core with alarms "kiss him!", again & again banging in your head. Your gulp your saliva down, your lips eventually feeling tingly all of a sudden now that you're close to his face, in the blink of an eye.
At such proximity, his little snores backed up by his soft raspy voice isn't missed by your sensitive ears, saving it all to your memory.
It seems like you can't find any peace from your insides so you plant your lips at his, your eyes closing shut and your heartbeat exploding yet calm enough to let you savor this moment, stealing a soft kiss from your sleepy boyfriend who is so gorgeous bathed in the rays of dawn.
His pout perfectly houses your lips, you're now lost in its touch stirring so much bliss inside. It is the way you're bewitched with just his soul, his existence, flush & explode at his flirtings, gladly let him rule and reside in your heart.. you would actually admit that he has you wrapped around his finger (but never to him).
Seconds do not hesitate to turn into minutes, yet you're slow as ever, kissing him as if the time in the world is all yours, hands already toying with his hair. You pull back in realization, getting touchy will out your mischief. You glance at him, he is still unfazed. He must be sleepless from the way you've entertained him with your puny attempts to flirt back till midnight.
His snores are still ringing in your ears with his warm breath fanning your face. You are still inable to actually turn away and wake up when you're swamped adoring his little features like the way his mole at his cheekbone sinks into the pillow the more he curls into himself in sleep, or the way he has no idea you've kissed him like that and sleeping like a cute duck.
The fact once again immersing you in your profession of staring holes into your boyfriend in adoration. So immersed that you don't really observe his smirking lips.
"No more kisses, angel?"
With Widened eyes, an audible gasp, you're turning away in an audible, flamboyant(-ly uncool) manner – entertaining that tease of a cunning fox who was awake all this time. So flushed and barely able to utter, you turn your back at him.
"Y-You weren't sleeping all this time, jjunie!?" You no longer have any idea if you're accusing him or actually questioning him.
"You kiss so good that sleeping felt wrong." His slender fingers drape around your arm and already begin to turn you back to face him, while you're resisting with all your might to hide your flushed face and your poor self, suffering with a mini heart attack again.
"So pretending to be asleep felt good?" You finally croak out, your voice barely audible. You feel so embarrassed, he has been awake this time, drinking in all your messy features and your puny mischief of trying to kiss him— no, kissing him.
"You were kissing so good assuming I was asleep," he rasps softly, laughing in the end. "Of course that felt good."
"I'll feel better if you kiss me again, by the way," he whines with groggy voice sounding utterly awful to you. How is he still so good at teasing you so early in the morning?
"..."
"Oh come on, now! kiss me more!"
You've almost begun to shed your remorses to have taken advantage of your boyfriend like that before he has 'no more kisses, angel?'-ed you & your heart almost popped out at his sudden rise at your kiss.
Yet his whines are a little too adorable, you wish to listen to them more even with that little pang of regret to have him whine like that when you're the one who has begun this. He is acting so entitled, that just encourages you to tease him more.
Hiding your laughter at his whines is a little tedious when he is already wriggling you with his super strength already, shaking you vigorously to have you facing him.
After a few more struggles, he successfully faces you to him, you still refusing to look him in his eyes to hide your smiling face. Not that he is able to open his eyes as wide as an owl in the sunlight, yet he still doesn't stop his little groans and whines that you don't look at him.
"That was the best good morning I've ever gotten and you're refusing to give me more of it?" His fingertips play at your lips which you instantly slap away earning a lazy 'ow!' from him.
Even after waking up where our system takes a tad bit of time function well, Yeonjun really does awaken the butterflies in your tummy with his witty way of titling your mischief with the 'best good morning' right after he has awakened.
That feels really good to listen, your heart and you in sync with simping thoughts.
"Please, Baby? Kiss me again?" He pouts now, voluntarily, plumping his lower lip up in dramatic sadness as he looks down. You can't contain your laugh until you pull him in a kiss again. Smiling as a kid who's gotten his candies as he asked, it is rather Yeonjun taking it to a further step.
Yeonjun is already so into kissing you, his lips now playing at yours, brushing at them ever so softly that it tickles on yours lips. Your hands relax on his nape while he takes the charge, hovering over you and relishing on every corner of your lips.
He is so adept with these skills, that simple nibble of his lips on yours could have you weakened from head to toe, all pliant for his lips traversing from your cheeks to your jaw. He is so perfect on top of you, lacing his fingers with yours and showering so many giggly smooches at your neck. Purposely he traces a little of his teeth on your neck, earning breathy gasps and praises from your honeyed voice.
His lips are never chapped, thanks to you always kissing and biting onto them, softening them from time to time. The said lips begin tickling and marking your jaw with marks that blush at his lips.
You face him towards you again, your lips are already missing his playful smooches. Kissing him is so different to him kissing you, the feel so playful and so.. good. It is normal to crave more at this point but to actually cuddle your lips with his, yet he doesn't let you think of anything.
His kisses so teasing that they feel so not enough yet too good to stop. It is when you think you can collide in his lips more, parting them for him to prod inside, he parts away displaying his swollen lips.
You shoot him a 'why did you stop' look with your half-lidded, kiss-needy eyes, until he opens his mouth. Uttering the most annoying words ever, and ruining the mood as the yeonjun-usual of today.
"Should brush, you stink."
Seconds before there were lovey-dovey flowers budding and blooming inside of you but now it feels like your boiler could burst at any second at his words, your shyness and a little embarrassment already craving you with the sheer desire to be swallowed by the bed monster.
Rosy tinges on your face fade with the smile containing raging volcano forms on your face, your nerves popping a little and asking him to say that again, which he does so, again, plopping beside on the bed, with a smirk dancing on his face.
"You need to brush, angel~" stressing on the need to brush and adding a taunting tone at the angel to mock you, he sighs at you. "You stink."
"As if you smell like flowers," you scoff at him, counting down to 10 to calm your boiler. "Who wants to kiss your inflated stinky lips? they're too bad to taste."
Yeonjun observes you pouting your lips and cursing at him as you get off of the bed and fold the blankets, throwing so many scolding at his face at every lock of your eyes with his. It is that same hearty smile that forms on his lips when he watches you with heart eyes.
"You. You can't seem to let go of my lips," he proudly boasts at your soft spot for his lips. He is spot on with his come-back, so true that you almost give in admit defeat.
Damn fox, so kissable and so annoyingly right.
"Brush," he demands concealing his laughter. "Will you, with me?"
"YeAh."
I ain't kissing him for the rest of my life, you rage inside.
"After breakfast let's make out, love."
"Okie."
#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun soft hours#yeonjun soft thoughts#yeonjun fanfic#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun x you#yeonjun x y/n#yeonjun x oc#txt fluff#txt fanfic#txt soft hours#txt soft thoughts#txt scenarios#txt x you#txt x reader#txt x y/n#txt x oc#yeonjun imagines#txt imagines#nou's.tale : so ki-kissable!
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potential spoilers for s2 of HOTD (leaks)
after a day of thinking about it, i'm actually okay with a potential alicole sex scene. i just really am not looking forward to memes making fun of alicent ("she just needed an orgasm"), calling her a hypocrite, etc.
i honestly think this major change alicent has gone through of having a lot of power politically as the queen to now just being the dowager queen could make her go through an identity crisis. she's just the king's mother now. she worked so hard for this, and it sucks. she's (in her head) done everything by the books, she's morally just, she's devoted her life to serving the king & the realm, she's done her duty, and now there's going to be war.
even if you headcanon alicent as a lesbian, she does not know that about herself. and, even if she did, she wouldn't believe it or do anything about it. she has always been sexually repressed because from what we have seen, she has NEVER had a consensual sexual relationship with someone in her entire life. if she wants to experiment sexually in search of identity, i honestly think that is a good and interesting direction for her character this season. and maybe it will even help the general audience like her more, since she's choosing for herself liberation sexually (but this is just wishful thinking). the main complaint about alicent last season was just a lack of autonomy and perpetual victimhood. while i disagree with that, i feel like this entire arc might help her find herself more & gain some autonomy back. but i just don't really see why she'd be experimenting sexually in the midst of all this turmoil unfolding.
major actual spoilers:
fabien said in a recent interview that criston feels very guilty because he was with alicent (in her chambers, i'm assuming) DURING BLOOD & CHEESE 😭. i really hope i'm misunderstanding but it sounds pretty clear in the video that that is what happens. so maybe the one time that alicent decides to have sex upon her own volition her grandchildren and daughter are attacked and one is murdered??? i just know now that is why she seems so depressed and guilty in every clip we've seen so far. probably why she tries to drown herself in the bathtub. both her and criston are just going to be completely guilt ridden and i guess i don't know how to feel about it until we really see it, i just hope the writing is good. that's all that i need to be on board. i need the sex scene to make sense, time & place, and i hope there is some buildup prior to it etc.
#house of the dragon spoilers#hotd#house of the dragon#a song of ice and fire#alicent hightower#criston cole#alicole#asoiaf#fire and blood#team green
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Astrology Observations
Twin Flames 😇😈, Karmics 🪐 & Soulmates 🕊
AUTHOR’S NOTES
Hello to all the Kosmic Baddies!! And welcome to all the new ones! I ADORE you all. All the positive comments and words of encouragement really make my soul warm and it means the world to me that you enjoy the content as much as I enjoy making it.
You all have given me the energy to write something else! And I appreciate it because I get so bored……………………………………
Thank y’all. Love y’all and I hope y’all enjoy this post. If you aren’t interested in my definitions, you can scroll down to the observations. I promise, I won’t take it personally :)
With Love & Lust,
A-D
INTRODUCTION
Unlike most of my other posts, this is a breakdown for how to read soulmate connections in a chart. Most of these observations are ones that me and my sister made just studying couples in pop culture and in our personal relationships. I thought it would be a fun post to write how I categorize these different kinds of relationships.
This post is probably my most subjective in awhile. These aren’t rules, per-say, but they are patterns I noticed when studying different relationships.
First, I will breakdown MY interpretations of what all these different titles mean, and then I will breakdown how they MAY appear in a chart. It is imperative to have the correct birth details for these observations to reign true. In Vedic Astrology, you don’t have to have a birth time because you can use these same calculations through the Moon chart. (Making the moon sign the ascendent. For instance, I am an Aquarius Sun and an Aries Moon, so my Moon chart starts with Aries. So my first house is in Aries, Second house in Taurus, third house in Gemini etc. My sister on the other hand is a Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, so her Moon Chart would be Scorpio in the first house, Sagittarius in the second house, Capricorn in the third house etc. Moon charts are a nifty thing to look at when doing astrological overlays, particularly if you don’t have an accurate birth time).
Again, just a friendly reminder that this is a PERSONAL OPINION piece. Now, for those of you who have been with me for my previous post, you know I’m not talking out my ass. So I can absolutely promise that I am giving you the most educated and thought out explanation that I can give at the moment. I am by no means the final say on ANY of this stuff, I am far from God and don’t want to be the judge or the jury…it is faaaarrr too much work. But please understand that there may be some things in this post you disagree with~ that is LOVELY, share your opinion with me in the comment section, I am more than happy to hear from you and listen to your insight!
But without further ado, let's break this down shall we?
DEFINITIONS
Karma:
Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman.: Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.
Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.
Soulmates:
Soulmates are just that– a mate for your soul. This is another soul, individual, or essentially another life force that you just “get”. Every relationship comes with its ups and downs and soulmates always seem to find one another no matter what. I find animals to be some of the BEST examples of soulmates out there. Isn’t it crazy how you can form a bond with another life force? I don’t find it to be a coincidence that animals and their hoomans can even look alike!
But enough with the furry friends, let's talk about hooman friends as well! Soulmates can also manifest as people (duh…)– whether super long lasting or a fleeting moment. Some friendships can prove to be some of the most profound soulmates in the course of a lifetime.
And of course…a soulmate can be a lover. We will discuss what can make a soulmate different from a twin flame further in the post. But yes, soulmates can absolutely manifest as boyfriends/girlfriends/theyfriends/husbands/wifes/partners etc. This is probably the most common and sought after kind of soulmate in mainstream culture, but I cannot express enough how soulmates can manifest in so many different ways. You know how Prince would rock out with that beautiful purple guitar? I consider that guitar to be a soulmate? After all, they shared a vibration and what is a man without his tools? As long as science says that everything is made up of tiny atoms, and each person, place, or thing contains its own vibration, we are bound to time and space by our soul’s connection. These types of connections help us move through the void of the darkness and chaos that is the universe, and we will be defined by the contracts of our souls through lifetimes and eons. (Smeeexxiiii, huh)
Twin Flames:
All twin flames are soulmates, but not all soulmates are twinflames. This is IMPERATIVE to understand when you are defining your connections for yourself. It seems to be trendy in mainstream culture to conflate the two, but these relationships have very distinct qualities and very different karmas (lessons). For the sake of starting on solid ground, let’s say that Twin Flames are like soulmates on steroids. Why? Because the contract level of Twin Flames can be an extremely heightened feeling and bring out the best and worst of ourselves so we can confront ourselves through a mirror like image, a reflection, if you will, so we can truly see ourselves through a 3rd eye perspective. Sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, huh? Well, it kind of is. This may be a hot take, but it is an important one, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. I repeat, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. Why? Again, because this is HIGH level spiritual work that most souls just aren’t prepared to encounter. To be fair, just because it’s high level spiritual work does not equate to it being “high vibrational”. Most Twin Flame journeys deal with lower vibrations in order to raise them. So don’t confuse the work with the payoff. Twin Flames catapult one’s soul to the next dimension when it comes to spiritual growth and learning. One of the most popular modern examples of a Twin Flame relationship is…drum roll, please…Twilight (Spoiler Alert!). Bella started out as an innocent, run-of-the-mill suburban average teenage boring, blah blah blah, nothing-special kind of girl, with perhaps a proclivity towards darkness, who got entangled with a 300 year old vampire (or however old….), went on to experience the highs and very very very lows of a relationship, flirted with death, lost him, got him again, was deflowered, got pregnant, damn near lost her life trying to give birth and ultimately had to be “killed”/ “turned” by Edward– literally (or figuratively because it’s in a book…) “dying” to be born again and made anew. Essentially growing from an innocent virginal girl, to a very powerful woman & mother. Meanwhile, Jacob, who I would argue is simply a soulmate (see the difference…he was obviously the “safer” choice, but would not have sparked that dramatic of a shift in her soul) just watches from the sidelines. It’s just worth noting how traumatic that entire 4-book series and 5-part movie is from Bella’s perspective, but also from Edward’s. His darkness engulfed her willingly, like Hades to Perspephone. He wasn’t really a willing participant– until he unleashed all his passions and desires onto her. She reflected back to him a purer version of himself that was lost to the past and to his “vampirism”, while she was drawn to him to take her out of the mundane expectations of suburban living. Both parties were made to sacrifice a sacred part of themselves in order to embrace one another, but ultimately to embrace their truest form. For Bella, it was her becoming a mind-bending vampire…a FAR cry from the less than average suburban girl she started as. And for Edward, it was to bring love and happiness back into his life. He had to let go of his “I’m a monster” perspective of himself and see that although he is a lust driven, blood sucking, overly wealthy, perpetual teenager…he is…in fact, worthy of love. Awwww…now isn’t that just…romantic? To the teenage version of me…yes. To the adult version of me who has bills to pay…not so much. However, the story is a powerful one because it clearly illustrates the drama, the passion, the highs, the lows, the love, the lust, the hate, the envy in a spiritual twin flame connection.
(Tangent, but the word envy made me realize another key difference in the twin flame journey versus the soulmate or karmic journey…Envy plays a major part in twin flame relationships. There is something that you feel your twin has, that you feel like you don’t. Going back to our Twilight example, Bella envied Edward for his mystique, and his seemingly other worldly experiences. She envied his relationship to his own darkness. She found him interesting, to say the least. He was a masterful artist, a great pianist, wicked smart, and a selfless individual. Bella, at best, was a mid-level high school student. She didn’t have any talent, any hobbies, any desires. She was very boring and humdrum. She envied him for being so ridiculously complex. She was essentially a blackhole, wanting to be filled by him– sexually, physically, mentally, etc…She wanted nothing more than to dissolve into his world, inheriting his self-hatred and his life issues (like the Volutrie)...she envied his essence. On the other hand, Edward was envious of her purity. He found deep comfort in her lack-lusterness. She was beyond ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, she became extraordinary to him. To see a virginal young woman, full of life, and promise, brought him great desire. A desire he fought for like 3 books/movies. Edward, was by far, the “runner” in this scenario because he absolutely felt that his presence in Bella’s life would destroy her. And for what it’s worth, he was absolutely correct. He demolished her from the inside out– taking her virginity to ultimately making her a mother, an evolutionary act within itself. The triumph of the virgin to the whore pipeline (lol, no pun intended, but pun definitely accepted). Tangent over lol)
BUT what makes them a twin flame specific quality is the fact that you realize, you are actually the same. Edward was equally as dark as he was pure and same for Bella. There was no need to envy one another because they were both capable of all states of being. Edward and Bella are a good and bad example of twin flames, because they are the rare twin flames that stay together. So it’s beautiful they were able to find a middle ground and create a child and merge families–blah blah blah…but, that is pretty uncommon. MOST, not all, but MOST twins do not end up with a happily ever after. They usually are unable to reconcile their souls' differences. These relationships are usually to prepare one another for a high vibrational soulmate.
Karmic Soulmates:
Karmic Soulmates, are souls that have past-life unfinished business OR are meant to inspire a lesson that may or may not be resolved in this life in general. Karma/Karmic is a neutral term, so this type of relationship doesn’t have to be inherently good or inherently bad. It is a relationship that brings forth lessons so the soul can carry out the rest of its karmic mission. These relationships can play out in a romantic way, but they tend to be more on the platonic side. You can be in a Karmic relationship with your mother, brother, sister, teacher, etc. as well as a place! You can have a significant bond with a city, country, place and time. Anything that promotes the soul’s growth through support, challenges and forces you to learn, is a karmic contract/soulmate.
You are certainly meant to learn. But because of Karma being ruled by the planet Saturn, these relationships can go on for a long time, can be extremely difficult and will keep pressisting until the lesson is learned and the karma is fulfilled.
Karmics tend to have a negative connotation, particularly in the youtube tarot world, but it genuinely doesn’t have to be. In fact, I argue that all significant relationships are inherently karmic– be it clearing up Karma from a past-life, or creating new karma for the next.
Always remember, the universe is neutral. Lessons are neutral. Love/Hate is…neutral. We need not judge the nature of any relationship, including our own, if it means to help enlighten, enrich and grow our souls. We are social creatures and we don’t learn lessons about ourselves in a vacuum. Different souls, people, places, and things can trigger our growth in ways that we are incapable of imagining beforehand.
I say all that to say, as one of my favorite quotes from a family friend who passed away years ago said, “some things, you just don’t need to experience”. There will be times in life where you touch the fire and need to feel it to get burned…other times, you will know what that burning feels like and will turn away. This is the perfect system of Karma. Sometimes you will get burned, whether you “asked for it” or not, and other times, you will know that there is no need to even play with the fire to begin with.
So take everything in life with a grain of salt and a shot of whiskey! Life is supposed to be fun…even the not so fun parts! Live, laugh, love, lust & learn! Enjoy the moment.
(This is a great example of a non romantic karmic, he wrote this song for his grandmother who passed & it catapulted him to another dimension career wise)
OBSERVATIONS
Observation 1
Do not underestimate the power of Chinese Astrology
Hear. Me. Out. I haven’t found a more accurate astrology for relationships than Chinese astrology. Crazy, I know. But Chinese Astrology is extremely straightforward. Screw the birth times, you just need a month and year and you’ve got all you need. I always joke that I exclusively date through Chinese Astrology, but I am seriously only half kidding (lol). I kid you not, whenever I study my relationships through this particular astrological lens, I am genuinely AWE STRUCK with how uncannily accurate it is. Try it! Next time you find yourself dating, or even checking the compatibility with your current mate, read a few articles and see how it lines up for you. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I manifest partners through their Chinese zodiac because I am so passionate about it! It hasn’t let me down yet!
***Note: I don’t have this as an official observation because it’s not astrologically based, but look into numerology as well when studying compatibility! It is VERY insightful.
Observation 2
Usually Twin Flames/Soulmates have Gemini placements somewhere in their personal planets or ascendent
So this take may not sit well with everyone, because you may feel limited in the types of soulmates you can encounter if you don’t have any Gemini placements. Fret not, keep reading, you may fit in another category.
I am not saying that this is the LAW, I am saying this simply is something I have noticed when studying what I consider twin flame relationships. In most Twin Flame/Soulmate relationships, the Zodiac sign of the twin is usually present for BOTH individuals/souls. The psychic nature of Gemini makes it very easy to just “get” someone, and feel as if you’ve known them for years. Have you ever heard two Geminis talk to one another? It can be hard to keep up with them!
Soooooo…..I feel the same to be true when it comes to these kinds of intense relationships.
It is also worth noting that Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Mercury/Hermes in Greek Mythology is the only God that can travel between Mt. Olympus (Heaven, so to speak) and The Underworld (Hell, if you will). I think this is important because it demonstrates why Gemini placements in particular can experience a love of such depth. It can go into the pits of hell and to the glories of heaven with ease, making it one of the most valuable placements for a twin flame relationship.
Another note is, in traditional tarot, The Lovers card is depicted by the twins. I feel this is a significant indicator of a deep soulmate connection because of the telepathy and how intertwined lovers/gemini energy can be. The inherent closeness of these soulmates is intrinsic to closeness that is required for any level soulmate/twinflame. Nonverbal communication can play a major role in these types of connections. As chatty as Geminis can be, it’s what they don’t say that ACTUALLY matters. Only another Gemini person would understand that.
Now, Virgo is also ruled by Mercury, but Venus is in detriment in the sign of Virgo. I don’t think Virgo fits this description as well, because Virgo is inherently about solitude, represented by The Hermit in traditional tarot, making it more about virginity/purity than about a 3D twin flame physical connection. To be honest, I just haven’t witnessed it as much when dissecting charts, but I will study it more and perhaps my opinion will change. But as of right now, I don’t believe Virgo placements depict as strong of a connection as Gemini in this case. Feel free to prove me wrong! I’m always open.
Back to Geminis…It seems so weird that Gemini energy would be the ones who attract such intense relationships because they seem so, unloving…but one of my favorite Gemini on Gemini relationships is Courtney Love (Gemini Sun & Moon) and Kurt Cobain (Gemini Moon). Ooof. OOOF. But it was like they had their own language and lived in their own world. Now, that relationship ended up in tragedy…but hey…they had some “fun” moments. They were so similar and too similar at the same time, that it fueled an outwardly bizarre connection, but to them it made perfect sense. This is the power that a double gemini connection can have. Minus to tragedy part.
Observation 3
Twin Flames almost always have the SAME zodiac placements or DIRECT OPPOSITE zodiac placements.
This rule, without fail, is one of the most important and powerful observations that I have come across. If you are checking the zodiac for twin flame compatibility, I will almost say YOU MUST have the same or opposite placements in the big three (rising, sun, moon) and/or Venus and Mars.
This can be ANY SIGN in ANY HOUSE.
For example: You have Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Cancer, Rising in Sagittarius…Your twin could have Sun in Virgo, Moon in Taurus, Rising in Aries. Because the Sun and Moon are in opposite signs, you could experience a twin flame relationship.
Another example: You have Sun in Gemini, Moon in Aquarius, Rising in Pisces…Your twin could have Sun in Libra, Moon in Leo, Rising in Aquarius. Because the Moon and Rising are in the same sign, you could experience a twin flame relationship.
You can mix and match, as long as something mixes and other things matches (lol). I’ve seen so many charts of couples that share placements or have opposite placements and immediately I go “uh! Twin Flame!”.
I think this is due to the illicit push and pull nature/mirroring nature of Twin Flame relationships.
This is where “real” science comes in. All energy has an action and a reaction to create equilibrium. This is why this particular observation is so important. As I’ve stated from the beginning, when it comes to Twin Flame relationships, they are meant to teach, expand, challenge and heal, so it makes sense that you would be met with the opposite force and attract one another OR the same force and repel one another. (Let’s talk physics…think magnets…two positives and two negatives repel, but a negative and a positive attract…woot woot! Call me Bill Nye biiisshhhessss) The entire effect is to make your soul ebb and flow so it can reach a state of neutrality. You want someone to challenge your opinions and your sense of self so you can know what/ who you are. If you’ve never had a mirror, how do you know what you look like? Again, the same is true when someone is so similar to you. You may look at them and go “wow, is this how I come off?”. Just to reemphasis, I don’t want this to come across as an inherently negative thing, it doesn’t have to be. It just usually requires a highly developed spiritual understanding to see that. This particular alignment can give the “can’t live with em, can’t live without em” feeling.
If you have complementary placements, like your Sun is in Capricorn and your partner has their Moon in Taurus, this may be more of an indication of a soulmate connection. The same can be true if you are both air/air or air/fire or water/water or water/earth.
Now, another way you can see it is if you have opposing elements. But, I don’t think it reads as strong as actual zodiac signs.
Just to be clear, all my examples thus far have been using Sun, Moon and Rising, but this trick can extend to Mars and Venus. So let’s say you have Venus in Cancer and your partner has Mars in Capricorn…it counts!
Observation 4
For long-term compatibility, your partner’s Venus will be the same as one of your placements in your big three or your venus– ESPECIALLY WOMAN in Heteronormative connections or Males in same-sex relationships.
Trigger warning for those who are sensitive about pronouns…please use your imagination. I am talking about ANCIENT astrology, so it is rooted in traditional gender norms. You may disagree, that is fine, no judgment, but for the sake of this observation, you can bear with me…or ignore it. The choice is yours!
Now, I am talking about a man’s Venus placement here. In traditional astrology, Venus indicates the man’s wife. So if your “man” has Venus in Pisces, you may have Pisces Sun, Moon, Rising OR Venus/any other water placements. This would make you complementary. In fact, I would say if his Venus placement aligns with your chart, other placements in the chart won’t matter as much.
For example, You are a Gemini Sun, Libra Moon, Aquarius Rising. If your partner is a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising, BUT their Venus is in Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra…you’re in luck! From the big three, it may seem as if you are completely incompatible, but low and behold, your partner loves what you are putting down, so the “differences” may not be so different after all.
Venus is EXTREMELY important to long-term relationships. So is the 7th house. I won’t go down that rabbit hole for this particular post, but keep that in the back of your mind.
These connections may not be as intense as Twin Flame, but this is certainly a great indication for a wonderful connection. Let me say, like I said in the beginning, not every soul needs to experience a twin flame connection for its evolution. If you are wanting something more grounded, then follow this rule of thumb when checking initial compatibility with a partner.
BONUS: If your person’s Venus falls in your first house, this is a great indication of producing love at first sight! Now…other placements matter, obviously, but this is an extremely powerful indication of strong, immediate, attraction.
Side Note: For Women, you would look at your Jupiter placement for compatibility with your “husband”! I find that you can also use this rule for Mars when it comes to “boyfriends” as well.
Observation 5
Synastry and Overlays Matter!!!!!!!
Definitions:
Synastry- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates the planetary alignment between two individuals.
Examples- Mars conjunct Venus or Sun trine Saturn
Overlay- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates how a person’s planets fall into another person’s house system.
Examples- Person A’s Jupiter is in Person B’s 8th House. Or Person A Venus sits in Person B’s First House.
(if these are new concepts to you, I HIGHLY suggest you do some research. Tumblr has some wonderful posts dedicated to these practices that are highly informative. I would love to do posts concerning synastry and overlays in the future!)
Okay, this may be the MOST important observation, but it is more advanced than Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus compatibility. This requires you to have knowledge of the WHOLE HOUSE system (sorry, western astrology) and deep comprehension of planets, conjunctions, oppositions, trines, squares and aaaaallll that good stuff.
My sister and I LOVE synastry and overlays. It really puts entire relationships into context to see how your chart lines up and what underlying energies you’re dealing with, regardless of the actual placements. How the planets react to one another and how those planets show up in your chart is MUY IMPORTANTE! Chances are, if you’ve read these other rules and they haven’t resonated with you, I guarantee, you’ve had a relationship that is based more on planetary alignment than zodiac compatibility.
(Just to be clear…this is why I started off with Chinese astrology…Chinese astrology is INSANELY accurate and doesn’t require nearly as much study as what I am saying here. DO NOT underestimate the power of Chinese astrology when it comes to compatibility. I love how accurate it is with very little information.)
With this rule, you don’t need birth times, but my goodness do they make an impact when doing overlays. If you don’t have accurate birth times, always remember you can do it off the moon chart, which essentially makes the moon the ascendent sign. Just know, for an accurate overlay, you will need to use the moon sign for BOTH charts. It will not be as accurate if you use your birth chart with an accurate birth time and overlay to their moon sign. It isn’t “wrong” per say, it just isn’t nearly as precise. You want to use the same charts. Moon charts overlay one another and natal charts overlay one another. If you have both birth times, then do both! Go wild! The more the merrier!
Now, I am not going to go in depth about what these two practices mean, because that’s an entire post within itself and I wanted to keep this one “short and sweet”. But I will say, for a rule of thumb, if you have strong trines, oppositions, and conjunctions with a person, that is an indicator of a twin flame, soulmate, and karmic connection. If you have Saturn, Pluto, Venus, Neptune and Mars with low orbs, this can indicate a soul contract/intense connection. If yours or their placements sit in your 1st/7th/8th/12th house, this can be a VERY strong indication of a powerful & spiritual connection. There are plenty of ways this can be mixed and matched. The relationship between two charts is so important, they are a study within themselves. I am only scratching the surface here, so if you are a novice, again, I cannot express enough how exciting it is to do some digging when it comes to this stuff in relationships.
There are plenty of free synastry calculators online, so please use them as a resource– even if you don’t understand the calculations, it is important to see the results. These placements can truly unlock a much deeper understanding of your relationships that you just won’t get when it comes to looking solely at your charts at face value!
Let me know if you’d like me to discuss these topics further moving forward! You know I love to spread the knowledge, and there is just something so sexy about synastry and overlays…it’s honestly one of my favorite parts about Vedic astrology!
Bonus: North Node/Rahu and South Node/Ketu can play a VITAL role when determining what kind of karmic relationship you are in.
POP QUIZ
Just kidding, there is no test, because I’m too lazy to grade anything, BUT here is an example of what I’m talking about when combining the previous observations. I am not doing a super deep dive, but I want you to see how everything overlaps and intersects.
Let’s use Rihanna and ASAP Rocky as an example. Their connection hits on a few different cylinders. Rihanna is an Aquarius Sun and ASAP Rocky has his Venus in Leo. Why does this matter? Although Rihanna is an opposite, so Sun opposition Venus, which is twin flame-y, she is a FAMOUS, CREATIVE, ENTERTAINER and MUSE…this is ALL dealing of the 5th House/Leo energy, so it make sense…for now…as to why he would be attracted to her. She has No Leo placements in her big three, but because it’s the opposite, we go to that push-pull magnet thing I was talking about earlier. As far as how their relationship will play out long-term, I have ZERO idea, but I can say their attraction to one another is very real, but it will probably be volatile at times because of the Sun Venus Opposition. I’m sure her ego will cause difficulties to his love language, BUT he may be able to take it, because his Venus is ruled by the Sun. See how layered and complex it can be? And we are just looking at one placement. They work because he enjoys the attention that she brings (not in a vampire way, just in a “wow, isn’t my lady so cool” kind of way) and he allows her to shine without dimming her light, while she enjoys the fawning that he gives her. He loves that his partner is larger than life and Rihanna is larger than life because…well…she’s Rihanna. She is able to appreciate him, because at this point in time, he doens’t in any way seem like he is trying to compete with her. He is a confident person who can stand beside and behind such a force, BECAUSE he has such a strong Venus placement.***
Relationships aren’t black and white. These are just observations and rules/patterns that I have found to be true. But as you’ll see, as I have presented, some things will contradict, some things won't make sense, what makes sense for one chart doesn’t make sense for another. Etc… This is such a fun topic because it really is like a puzzle. And it really is a case by case basis. The more in depth you can look at a chart, the more knowledge you can walk away with.
FINAL THOUGHTS/MINI RANT
Oof….okay, what a ride! (Can you believe I had the intention of this being a short post. HA!) I hope that you were able to take something away from this post and learn something new! As you can see…there is a very intricate science behind how soulmates/karmics and twin flames work. It is so much deeper than saying “oh wow, that’s my twin flame”...like…maybe? I feel mainstream spirituality/astrology/tarot has taken that phrase and run with it. And saying “if you identify as twin flames then you are” is misleading. It really isn’t something you “identify” with. They either are or are not your twin flame. There isn’t an in between. It is not ambiguous and it can be fact checked. Also, twin flame makes it seem like you can only have one…I don’t think that’s the case. I think you meet as many “twins”/mirrors/soulmates/karmics as you need until your soul learns the lesson. Have you ever felt like you just keep meeting the same person over and over and over again? That’s because we are talking about soul recognition and not necessarily 3D body recognition.
You may be attracting different “people”, but you could be attracting the same “spirit”. So don’t always get so hung up on a particular person. TRUST ME BABES, if there is unfinished business, that same energy will come back around over and over and over and over again until you geeeetttt ittttt.
Another note is, if you’re like me, and you have exalted Venus in Pisces conjunct Ketu…then every relationship feels twin-flame-y. Why? Because I have my relationship planet tightly conjunct my south node, so I am on a spiritual journey on my own when it comes to relationships…my twin flame is most likely…Jesus Christ…sooooooo……yeah. (I kid, I kid, but not really. My placement can indicate being a nun…and trust me, after dealing with the crap I’ve had to put up with when it comes to these men folks, I have absolutely considered giving my body to God…cuz these men just don’t do right…lol…anyways…) Men and relationships have become my life’s work…which is why I am here sharing this information with you today. Each relationship is very nuanced but all have similar themes.
I am very much into tarot and astrology and all the things, but I do feel like there is a fad going around about this twin flame business. And as much as I enjoy a tarot reading popping up on my tiktok talking about my “twin”, I am always acutely aware that it can be a mislabeling and inspire people to put up with all kinds of crap for the sake of the label. If you’re going to be in a shxtty relationship, then be in a shxtty relationship, but don’t misuse the word. Twin Flame does not automatically translate to terrible, explosive, runner-chaser relationships and it does not excuse poor behavior. There is a difference between someone who is making mistakes because they are trying to learn and someone who is taking advantage of someone who won’t stand up for themselves. Sometimes, someone you like, just doesn't like you and your ego in tandem with your fear of rejection/abandonment is preventing you from actually growing and pursuing a relationship that would benefit and promote your soul’s growth. It’s almost like getting stuck on level one of a video game. Until you beat that internal need for validation from one specific person/soul…you’ll never get to play the next part of the game. Now…this isn’t me saying that soulmate/twin flame/karmic relationships don’t have their downsides, but I am saying, at least know the kind of energies you’re dealing with before you go putting pressure on a presumably less evolved/knowledgeable individual expecting them to “challenge your soul” and you haven’t even challenged yourself. This whole twin flame ordeal is like handing a toddler some markers and leaving them alone in a room full of white walls– it is bound to get messy. Soulmates are a BEAUTIFUL thing. And very rarely, I mean VERY rarely can a twin flame move into a more relaxed “soulmate” relationship. It is not impossible, but the amount of effort that is required to transcend, is unbelievable. BOTH PARTIES have to be spiritually mature and aware to do the work. This connection is NOT one sided…BOTH individuals are required to learn, grow and HEAL. Mind you, healing is the main reason for these kinds of relationships. There is no way to heal when your relationships keep pouring salt into an open wound. People can get caught up with and hang on to people for far too long because of a mislabeling. It is equivalent to a misdiagnosis from a medical doctor. Sure, you may have a cold, but if they misdiagnose you with a broken leg…are you receiving the right treatment? NO! And now you won’t heal properly! TO BE CLEAR…I believe in fate– so if you meet someone and you have an extraordinarily intense connection, you probably fit one or more of these rules and THAT IS why I am making this post. I want you to do the research for your own sanity so you can express FREE-WILL in whether you want to walk down that path or not with a certain individual– while also knowing the other person has free-will too. No label, or synastry, or overlay, or Chinese compatibility will change the fact that you may be fated to meet someone, but free-will may take you down different paths.
On another, equally important note…It is also possible to end up and stay with the wrong person. It is! You may look at a chart and follow some of these patterns and realize, you have NO BUSINESS with that individual. But people end up with the wrong people all the time. People have wasted LIFETIMES with someone they had no business with. But their ego decided they were a “soulmate” or a “twin flame” or they aren’t “healed”/spiritually awaken enough to realize they can do better…and low and behold…they were wrong and they wasted precious time. Now they’re miserable, can’t figure out why, and they end walking straight past a real soulmate in a supermarket…unable to even recognize them because they are so bogged down and clouded in their unhealed ego and a bad relationship that has cut them so far off from their own divinity, they can’t recognize love if it smacked them in the face. DON’T LET THAT BE YOU!
THERE ARE LEVELS TO RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!! Not every soulmate will be as intense as the next. Not every boyfriend/girlfriend will be as compatible as the last. Love is a game of musical chairs. There is movement, there is stillness, seats get taken away, and eventually, there is a winner. And babe, it will ALWAYS be you. You will always be the last one standing when it comes to relationships because you have free-will. (Let’s not forget the importance of the 1st House/7th House axis. You vs Relationships. It is as equally you as it is them.) You are bound by nothing. You are bound to no one. You are love. You are light. If you do the work, you may find a wonderful, loving, long-lasting relationship full of romance, but this is not guaranteed. You AND your partner have to choose each other every single day. The best relationships require discipline, work, forgiveness, “God”/some higher power, and love– no matter who you cross paths with in this life…you have to do this for yourself first and foremost. Alas, if you are too caught up in people who won’t meet you in the 3D, let alone the 5D…you will always fall flat of what you are looking for. The chair will always be ripped from under you when the music stops. Always. All of this is irrelevant if it doesn’t come from within. And this is why I want to express it one last time…NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME CONNECTION. You don’t understand how much you have to overcome rejection, overcome fear, overcome lust, desire, ego ALL the things, to open yourself up enough to join forces with another soul and try to tackle life together. Your ultimate lover is not your savior– they are your equal. You have to save yourself. You are not your ultimate lover’s savior. THEY have to save themselves. You ain’t super(wo)man and they aren’t either. Your partner has to be willing to do the same work…THAT’S what makes them a twin. It is not because they are treating you like shxt, babes…
Learn the lessons. Do the work. Love every bit of the journey…especially the crappy parts, because THAT’S what will make it all worth it in the end and you’ll enjoy the beautiful parts as much as the Greek Gods enjoy sweet nectar and ambrosia.
Why is this important to differentiate? Why now?
Now, one thing is for sure…and two things for certain, I am psychic and I have seen in my crystal ball that there is heavy energy of union in the atmosphere. I am hoping that whoever stumbles upon this post, is on the path of self-discovery which ultimately leads to liberation because not all union is good union. (I think covid brought in a lot of bad unions for example…but that is another topic for another day). The days are getting darker, and the evil forces are getting stronger (am I being dramatic enough for ya?) so it is important to know exactly what we are all up against. Only few are chosen to be in relationships that are led by light. There is so much overwhelming darkness now and I don’t want anyone that I am influencing to fall into the trap. There is potential for WONDERFUL, POWERFUL, SEXY, LOVING, LONG-LASTING & HIGHLY SPIRITUAL unions right now. But you may be tempted by something that seems beautiful and it is nothing of the sort. So please, do your research. Love with all your heart. Let spirit lead you! Let love find you, there is no need to seek it out! Take calculated risk! Open up your heart chakra! But ultimately, always be mindful of the wolves in sheep's clothing.
Ciao ✌🏾
#astrology#astro notes#vedic astrology#astrology observations#sidereal astrology#astro community#astrology notes#astro observations#tarot#Spotify
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Why do you only call me when you're high?
It was a party night at Rafe's house, it was always a party at Rafe's house. He always had fun and drank to his heart's content, but when he woke up he was sorry for always hesitating with you. But he always did the same thing So you always forgave him when necessary
Rafe always loved you, that was a fact. But he had a problem with alcohol and drugs, so that always hampered your relationship. But this time you promised not to forgive any other The nonsense that Rafe did, it was time for him to be sure that he would lose you somehow.
"Rafe! Your girlfriend is here, at the party" Topper speaks loudly in Rafe's ear, because of the sound
"what? My baby is here! Where is she?" Rafe talks completely stoned
"no Rafe! You can't show up like that...she'll want to break up with you" Topper advises his friend, but Rafe wouldn't listen
"she loves me, okay? She would never abandon me" Rafe says in an almost serious tone after he really thought you would always give in to his love
Even though he knew about his existence at the party, Rafe continued drinking and smoking a lot and talking to girls who were interested in him. What Rafe was really waiting for was to see you even if that It was hard to believe
You were confused looking for your boyfriend until you saw him talking to a generic blonde
"Oh my God! Rafe? My boyfriend? Who I haven't seen in two days?" You speak sarcastically and disrupt Rafe and the blonde's conversation
"My beautiful princess, I was talking about you" Rafe says completely drunk and kissing you with hot drink breath
"Rafe! Don't you dare touch me! Where were you these last two days? Why didn't you answer the messages?"
You speak, drawing the attention of several people and Rafe ends up grabbing your arm, not so Strong and taking you to a more private place
"I already told you not to touch me!!" You say getting rid of him when you finally arrived at a calmer place
"I think you better not start your tantrum" Rafe says rolling his eyes at you
"tantrum? Rafe...I just want to ask you something" you say in an almost whisper and tired of putting up with all of this
"you can talk, but if you want to give your lecture..." Rafe was talking but you interrupt him
"you love me?" You ask looking deeply into Rafe's eyes.
"but what question is that? And of course I love you!" Rafe says smiling at the end and hugging you
"So if you love me, give up the drugs, the drinks and the parties and let's live a happy life!"
You say, still hugging him, but with every word you said, Rafe let go of you, it seemed like he didn't like your proposal.
"what? You want me to change my ways because of you? I'm sorry if I'm not prince charming"
Rafe speaks out and you raise your eyebrows, not believing what you were hearing.
"I don't want you to be a prince charming! I want you to be a boyfriend!" You speak shouting with tears in your eyes
"I'm sorry, princess! But that's how I am! And I'm not going to change my ways because of you"
Rafe says, shouting in your face, making you cry even more
"so what about this? Do you really want me to abandon you?" You say drying your tears
"we both know that won't happen" Rafe says in disbelief that you could abandon him
"okay...let's see" you say decide to never forgive Rafe again or at least get back with him, you would start a new life without him
Seven years later:
After several years later, Rafe Cameron's life became hell. He drank day and night, worked with a sullen face and had no friends left, they were all married and had children already Rafe He only had a bottle of whiskey in his hands. Rafe wanted to die, he wanted it so bad, but he needed to at least apologize to you seven years later
It was difficult, but Rafe managed to find the house where you lived and he was so happy but so sad and emotional at the same time, he needed to tell you so many things, he needed to see how you were, He needed to apologize to you
And so it was, Rafe found the beach house where you lived temporarily, after it was summer and it was also in Rafe's city so he had the opportunity
When Rafe got there, he saw that the house was flowery and very cheerful, whereas his house was gray and dark. Rafe was scared, he wanted so badly to let go of that fear But it was difficult. But even so, he would knock on your door and declare himself
Rafe approached his door and rang the doorbell, his hands shaking.
It took about 1 minute for you to open the door and when it opened. Rafe found himself with a child in his arms and you were hissing in confusion.
"I'm sorry...but can I help you?" You ask in the voice of an angel, when Rafe heard that voice he heard his heart beat again
"I guess...I only called you when I was high, didn't I?" Rafe says this humorless joke, but it made you remember perfectly who it was in front of you
"oh my god Rafe!" You say, hugging him even though you have the baby on your lap "come in, please" you say, making room at the door for him to enter
When Rafe walked in, he realized that the beach house was so beautiful and family-friendly, it would make him so happy
"It's beautiful here..." Rafe says, totally mesmerized by the place
"and...what do you think an architect's house would be like?" You say putting the baby in the crib and make Rafe surprised by your profession
"Did you become an architect?" Rafe asks, completely shocked by the information.
"yes! I learned about it at college and I'm still working in this field today" you say, sitting in a chair and giving Rafe a friendly smile
"and who is that cute little thing?" Rafe says referring to the drink you were holding
"that's my son Jonathan, he just turned 2" you say smiling, proud to remember that you had an adorable son
That was a knife in the gut for Rafe, he knew things would change, but it hurt. He just wanted to go back in time and fix everything
"he's beautiful" Rafe says this in almost a whisper, he was trying not to break down there
"But what about you Rafe? How's the biggest playboy on the Outer Banks doing?" You ask with a smile and a light chuckle from Rafe.
"I'm fine...I'm fine...I couldn't learn more about college, but I ended up becoming president of my father's company"
Rafe speaks without being proud of himself, he spoke quietly and with his head down. And you realized that so you decided to talk about someone else's life
"and Topper? I never saw him again" you say trying to change the tone of the conversation
"he... is in Canada, he got married and had twins..." Rafe speaks in a sad tone disguised as joy
"Do you still have contact with him?" You ask innocently and it hurts Rafe so much
"no...he abandoned me...because of drinking" Rafe says with tears in his eyes seeing that situation you approach him and hug him
"Rafe, what's going on?" You say still hugging him
"I just wish I could do everything differently! I just wish I would have listened to you and Topper!"
Rafe explodes with emotion and cries even more in your arms.
"Hey, calm down, okay?" You say trying to calm down, but it was difficult
"you don't understand...I'm a failure in my life and a failure!" Rafe finally speaks, looking into your eyes
"no! Rafe! Look at me, you're rich, beautiful, you have a splendid family"
You say, taking his face and gently running your hand over it.
"but I'm not happy!" Rafe shouts and you feel so bad for him in that moment, maybe... maybe you shouldn't have given up on him seven years ago
"And what do you want me to do Rafe?! If you're like this, it's not my fault" you shout crying back
"No! It's not your fault! That's my fault! I knew how to love..." Rafe shouts back and the only thing you think at that moment is kiss him, like you kissed him before
And that's what you did, you kissed him intensely, The kiss had fear, disgust, anger, surprise, happiness and sadness. But in the end there was peace...the connection between you and Rafe brought each other peace
"I love you, Rafe...But our story ended at that party"
#dark rafe cameron#drew starkey#drew starkey smut#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron headcanons#rafe cameron oneshot#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe smut#rafecore#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron moodboard#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron thoughts#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe fic#rafe x reader#rafe x you
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Namalin
Namari x Falin
Easy short rarepair spotlight post for prosperity~ This one I didn’t think of on my own for once, I don’t know if it’s just I forgot the decided-on ship name or what but I remember seeing really nice art and a couple posts about it that I can’t find again 💔 Namalin warrior you are out there and not forgotten ty for making me see the light
I like that Namari’s critical of Falin! I have a whole character analysis on Falin if you’re interested, but it’s generally well noticed that people around Falin idealize her a lot. Laios, Marcille and Toshiro all put her on a pedestral of ultimate goodness in the world, a saintess if nothing short of perfection. Sounds like Chilchuck felt sort of creeped out by her vibes, uncomfortable because he couldn’t read her, so unlike Namari it seems he preferred steering clear of her rather than debate opposed ideologies like he usually does. Makes sense if unlike Namari his issue is with her cryptic aura rather than the stances she does show.
"… The dungeon is no place for soft hearts" my ultimate namalin scene <333 It’s fun because while this scene is there to show us a lot of things, mostly to establish Falin’s characters better as it’s the first flashback of her we get, the conflict in it is more than anything else Falin vs Namari in how they contrast and clash and approach situations differently. Namari wants security in swift effective violence and thinks Falin too soft for her own good when she prefers a pacifist approach and promotes compassion even for the "undeserving" in Namari’s eyes. Falin steps between the battle ready Namari and the ghost, fearless. Falin effortlessly gently exorcises the ghost without one step back, quickly. Falin proves someone wrong. Falin proves someone wrong.
I love thinking of Namari being surprised when she learns new aspects of Falin. I like Falin having the power to shape people’s views on her. With Falin ships the most fun part for me is usually that point where Falin/the relationship becomes a clean slate: the person realizes they haven’t been seeing all of her, realizes there’s more of her they hadn’t noticed or that she hadn’t shown, that there’s change, a shift in the views on each other and the dynamic a bit.
Namari often feels like an external view looking in to me… I need to make a proper analysis on her but like. I made a lamari post once (analytic more than personally invested rip sorry) and I go with the same Namari take here, I think she’s someone who tends to have an outsider view on people and relationships if that makes sense, she’s a coworker before anything else and she’s content staying at a distance, she’s not objective per se but she tries to keep feelings out of her choices and how she sees people (her lil arc on not staying to save Falin despite the existing camaderie but in the end asking to work for the Flokes more because she wants to stay with them). She’s serious no nonsense on the job but friendly off the job and likes having casual friends, but she’s not… She doesn’t really feel connected to the group. She’s so focused on doing her job, even if she does get impulsive and passionate and too assertive for her bosses’ tastes, so focused on working her reputation and life from the ground up that that professionalism and attitude limits her social life. It doesn’t help that her reputation makes her widely judged, so she probably enters social spaces on the derensive. The closest person she was to pre-canon as far as we knew was Chilchuck and even they have a very "coworker I get along with" dynamic more than friends, with a similar sense of boundaries, humor and world view. Also like canon says a few time, the party didn’t really try to get to know each other well pre-canon, didn’t hang out after work often no one knew where Marcille was from and no one thought that was weird (also how no one had the instinct to ask about Senshi’s past) etc, the notable exception is we’re shown Namari and Chilchuck hitting taverns together and having a grand time. Everyone’s fine with things as they are, they get along decent even if not everyone considers each other friends exactly.
Where I’m getting at is that to me, it feels like she tries keeping emotional distance. Emotional distance from people in general being something which in my interpretation of Falin is also present, which would make it a theme and common thread interesting to explore imo. But yes like, Namari looking at Falin, and how everyone treats her, and being more skeptical, seeing her for what she is a little more, maybe even uncharitable. "Why is everyone treating her like she’s all that? She’s gentle sure but seems like a doormat to me" and then one day she comes running up with her mace ready to cave in someone’s face to protect Laios.
So yeah… Keeping her distance but one day Falin offering her some gentleness that feels very too personal for someone who’s not used to being genuine and simply showing that they care… Them talking a bit which leaves her stumped and mindblown in a quiet way when Falin defies her expectations. Namari growing on Falin when she stays and decides to open herself up more, or when Falin ends up reading her really well like she’s shown to do with her parents and Marcille’s worries. She’s very attuned to worrying and why and when different people do it especially when it comes to when they worry for others, perhaps because she does a lot of that too, so I think she’d nail down how Namari does care for the rest of the party and it’d make Namari feel seen both in a warm validating way and in a scared naked way.
We see in the tentacles chapter that she’s someone’s who’s very protective and looks out for her peers in a tough love way. She’s overbearing but it’s because she wants everyone to have the best chances. I like that she’s very confrontational and somewhat pushy and rude, but it’s tough love, it’s protective care: asserting herself to better protect and defend. The opposite of Falin’s type of care, quiet and self-sacrificial devotion. They’re barbarian x healer but they’re also bodyguard x bodyguard in their attitude and role.
… What I want for them is slow burn slice of life of being coworkers and slowly getting to know each other better, pretty fluffy, but god, put this way they’d have the potential to be such a hot layered mess of insanely mutually devoted codependence… Falin taking a hit for Namari and Namari being scarred by it forever, lots of arguments about it, my god.
I like that she’s the fighter to Falin’s healer. I looove thinking of scenes of Falin healing Namari, necessitating touch and like, a moment of slowing down and sitting together in silence, too intimate, the perfect opportunity to connect that neither truly want to take until one day they do.
I love how onesided I imagine the relationship would be at first. Again, as per my interpretation of Falin, I think Namari would have all these little observations and opinions on Falin meanwhile Falin really doesn’t think of Namari much at first. So Namari thinks a lot about Falin and thinks she’s got her pinned down but hasn’t (not that she’s fully wrong, she’d have credit and confront Falin on some of her flaws like the doormat thing), while Falin is very passive about Namari and doesn’t think deeply about her or anything but she read Namari’s insecurities and logic well. Not unlike how Laios was the one who seemed to understand Namari’s way of care the best in the party in the tentacles episode, and how he was very understanding of her choice and reasons. In Falin’s case it’s more like, the objectivity of passivity… She cares about Namari less than Laios who generally seeks to form bonds, so her lack of investment allows her a neutral perspective. In that way another parallel with Namari that I’m drawing, except Namari lets feelings from her opinions seeps in more… Onesided beef my beloved. I’m going insane save me this post was a mistake.
I think Falin takes the crumbs of friendship and love where she can without expecting or asking for anything more than what’s offered, and I think her relationship with Namari (or anyone really) would start out the way it did with Marcille: the other takes the initiative and they end up spending time together, Falin is friendly but unattached until the bond gets gradually and wordlessly strenghtened through regularly spending moments together.
So! I think Namari would need to take a lot of the first steps, which since again she’s confrontational & argumentative and doesn’t hold herself back on that front that could spark a lot of conversations I think. Ooor since Falin cares about Namari less than Laios and Marcille she allows herself to be bolder herself lol. Or also circumstances force them to spend time together like dungeon party getting separated shenanigans.
I think their personalities match cutely, I think falin would try to protect namari like she does others but also Namari simply doesn’t need protection, just support. And I think they’re complementary in that way that Namari’s friendly but also won’t sugarcoat things, and I think if she takes an interest in Falin it could go from there and she could develop some understanding of her and idk like an intrigued crush….
Namari wants stability & security & to, like, not be judged and rejected and exiled lol, to find her nest her pack the place where she feels good and wanted in. I think having a fitting partner would help in that (similarly to how the found family with the Flokes seemed to. Oh another parallel, Falin’s top priority is protecting Laios her brother and what Namari are a family figure) and I think Falin would fulfill that cozy protection and that warm ‘being seen and not judged’ feeling. But also Namari would run up to her and yell about her trying to sacrifice herself ever.
Another fun thread to explore: post-canon guilt for not having gone to save her. Sure, they weren’t close, but they had some nice memories, didn’t they? Namari cares, and it stings despite herself when it feels like people think she doesn’t. Oh it wasn’t a lost cause after all, oh it’d have worked out, oh I could have stayed loyal and it wouldn’t have compromised myself in the end. Wanting to apologize to Falin, or just ahnging out with her and sharing a moment after she wakes up.
And tangent but that’s interesting to think about… Narratively, I think the purpose of Namari and Toshiro in the story, beyond strenghtening the theme of "seek to understand what is different from you and promote unity despite them" and fleshing the cast and worldbuilding, is Toshiro’s purpose was being a foil & tool in Laios’ arc (trouble connecting with people) while Namari’s was being and a foil & tool in Marcille’s arc (standing up for ideals without being out of touch with harsh realities and needs). They are the conflict that push our protagonists to grow— and they explore different ways of dealing with a situation or topic, different ways of growing into themselves on that end: Laios needing to listen to others more and Toshiro needing to focus on voicing himself more to be able to connect, Marcille needing to learn ideals sometimes cost too much and Namari needing to internalize that ideals are sometimes worth risks (not only to be able to find a reasonable but fulfilling life balance, but also to get in touch with their compassion: Namari restricts her own too much and Marcille is too harsh on people she deems to be breaking values, like Namari not risking her life and career for a friend with no promise of success, or even like how Namari is harsh on Falin’s way of doing things : too gentle, too soft, too idealistic) (similarly to Chilchuck’s arc with Marcille too, and he also plays a hand in advancing that arc in the Namari chapters). We are getting far from namalin sorry ummm preview for future analyses like Toshiro’s contrasting approach to grief and accepting loss.
More post-canon namalin! Thinking about a timeline where… Namari is fond of Falin finding herself and going off to do her thing. "Finally!" she thinks. If she’s still for hire, maybe Falin would want her to come along, either as guide or bodyguard <3, she knows Namari has a lot of good avice on a lot of things to give, plus they’ve worked together before. She hires Namari and they travel for a bit. Travel would do Namari good too I think, even if her end goal is to settle and I think Falin’s would be too eventually. Seeing sights that light her wonder for the world and going places where people don’t know her story, don’t recognize her face or her name. Them, feeling free. Finding a companionship that feels uplifting instead of stifling or charged. Namari having been too in her head about reputation and social games and money that they hit the roads and spend time in nature and it’s like, woah. I’ve been living in a small world with made up rules.
Ahh yes romance, Namari and Falin kissing after 3 years of not really knowing each other despite seeing each other every day then 2 months of wanting to spend more and more time together until they’re an inseparable duo! Workwives. I want them to stand next to each other during campire time and Namari cracks little jokes and Namari laughs. I want Namari to gift Falin a bug caught in amber and for it to be their wedding/promised to each other thing.
TLDR
Rowdy but levelheaded barbarian x gentle healer that will also cave your face in with a mace I like it…… They’re an interesting duo of mixed stuff.
Protection being your purpose and what you’re worth for, literally being a meat shield (Laios, Tansu), finding your individuality recognized and validated through a growing bond with the other. Sticking around as a love language. Also bug immortalized in amber and it being beautiful.
Nevermind this wasn’t short. Um! Anyways.
#Dunmeshi rarepairs#Namalin#Namari x falin#Falin x namari#Spoilers#Dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Bc of a chapter cover + post-canon talk#Namari#falin touden#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Gotta make a namari analysis eventually. Maybe. One day. Tough skinned girl bc she’s been burned and reputation is v important#who cares but caring doesn’t put food on the plate. Who’s an outcast and foreigner and doesn’t have a home to go back to#It’s the hustle life. Idk what it is about the Floke that made her want to stay but that’s why i wanna look at the tansu party eventually#Namarlin ot3 is so good as well… esp if it focuses on namari#Namari is poly i know it in my heart#Also YES I know there’s 1 namarlin/namalin fic out there i haven’t read it. Yes i will. I just haven’t been reading much lately#Oh on that note -types up new post-#Analysis#character analysis#relationship analysis#meta#Holding my head#Complementary ships with conflict and character arcs i love you#Watch fumi’s brain melt live#Fumi rambles#I need to go lay face down on the floor now#This sure is what I was supposed to take away from the canon text!#TAKE IT OFF MY HANDSSS TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME I NEED TO ACTUALLY GO DO CHORES#Namari betting Falin would reject Shuro but going “no comment -looks away-” when asked why…
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"Lilia Vanrouge is coming to court your single parents" does that include single dads because Vil's gonna have a heart attack finding out whom Eric Venue is dating /j
[Referencing this post!]
Omg, Lilia Vanrouge bisexual king??? It truly is pride month… 😳 Good for him, he's pulling all the single parents and living his best life!
I never really thought about Eric and Lilia even meeting before, but it's definitely possible since the former is often traveling for work and the latter is often traveling too (but for leisure). Maybe they've already encountered each other in a foreign land! They could share a meal or talk about their travels and fashion together. I feel like Lilia's usual style is very cute and gothic while Eric's is more old-fashioned and refined, so it could be interesting hearing how they feel about how the other likes to dress.
adqbhlerv13tqpwbDB Vil has indicated that he has no interest in learning who his biological mother is (not that they had a bad relationship or that she's dead, it's just that Vil isn't attached to her or even the idea of her)... but I wonder if he'd suddenly wish his biological mom was around, if only to stave off his dad from dating Lilia Vanrouge 💀
#twst#twisted wonderland#Lilia Vanrouge#Eric Venue#Vil Schoenheit#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#canon x canon#notes from the writing raven#question
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observations on aries
artwork by edvard munch
aries suns are known for being bold and brash, but there can be a real softness to them; their proximity to pisces and taurus, two of the most sensitive and sensual signs, often lends aries an interesting dichotomy. they are the first sign, and sometimes that softness shows through in indecision or insecurity.
with the midheaven in aries, the native can be compelled towards meaning. they aren’t the type who can just work a random job and chill on their time off. they need purpose, and to feel like their life and how they spend it matters deeply to them. their definition of a meaningful life may vary greatly depending on the natal chart and life of the native, but there is always that common thread of questing towards it.
aries moons sometimes get labelled as being emotionally immature, or even shallow. my experiences with these natives couldn't be further from the truth, however. they are brutally, refreshingly honest, and while they tend to paint in broad strokes, they definitely don't lack depth. it's just a different way of expressing and processing emotions.
venus in aries is all about interest. they need to feel appreciated and desired, not just in love, but in all their relationships. this can even stretch to their work and pastimes, and so, despite aries not being known for this trait, venus in aries can become perfectionistic and even fawning at their most vulnerable. they find it hard to let people in, because when they do, they struggle to close the door again.
mars in aries is known for being angry, and i think can be somewhat demonised because of that. aries mars is a placement that, yes, has big reactions, but the underlying emotions are valid. they have a strong sense of justice and pride, and they are more than willing to fight for what they believe in, even when it gets them into trouble.
saturn in aries is sometimes seen as being "not aries-like"... sure, there are restrictions and difficulties when it comes to autonomy and authority, your path might not be a typical one, and you can lack self-actualisation and assertiveness, especially when younger; but in my opinion, this is a really interesting place to find aries, especially when it comes to being in partnerships and leading or managerial roles.
aries ascendant is, in my opinion, where you tend to see the typical arian mannerisms come out. they walk quickly, talk quickly, and they're also highly visible; you can see their facial expression changing as their thoughts develop, you can see stress and tension in them before they have the chance to hide it. this physical earnesty is really refreshing, but for the native it can be a source of unwanted vulnerability.
with mercury in aries, the native can seem like an open book. they react quickly and sometimes without reflecting, they can think aloud and they express themselves with a disarming directness. but i believe placements like this can find solace in remembering that the initial reaction isn't necessarily how you truly see a situation, but rather, how you've been taught to react to it. learning to reflect and get curious about yourself is a great skill for aries mercury.
#pallastrology#astrology blog#astrology posts#astro community#aries#aries notes#aries observations#astrology notes#astrology observations
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hi I wrote u the welcome ask but now it’s time for business 😈 I desperately need a dbf!wick scrap from u xo
i’m here to serve and serve only. (yall can claim emojis and nicknames for anons btw if you want!!) accidentally made myself horny with this. enjoy 💌
dbf!john wick. legal age gap. smutty ending.
dad’s best friend john wick who is your father’s business partner in whatever they do. you were never interested in your father’s line of work — numbers, hour-long meetings full of random middle aged men using dramatic and unnecessary termins to prove a point, so naturally, you didn’t give two shits about his colleagues either. not until you met him.
you were dropping your father some lunch, eager to leave the building before men came barging into the meeting room. (un)fortunately, one of them arrived sooner that day, and that was when you saw the tall and handsome man in a suit who just radiated dark energy. he looked sinful.
your father didn’t even introduce you to one another, knowing your disinterest in this, but you caught john’s name from your dad’s lips when you were shutting the door behind. the poor man was taken aback by the sudden shift in your behavior when you asked him to partake in the next meeting, hoping and needing so desperately to see john again.
during the said meeting your father proudly introduced you to everyone, and your anxiety faded away when there weren't several pairs of eyes prying on you further into the meeting. except for one pair, which belonged to john wick.
you could practically feel his eyes shooting daggers of lust and curiosity towards you, even without having to move your gaze into his direction.
after the meeting john very generously suggested introducing you to the basics, which started the controversy of it all.
your meetings were titled as “trainings” by john which really was an excuse to get to know each other, and your father was too blindfolded by the excitement of his daughter taking after him to see the reality of the relationship you and john shared.
“you know i’m old enough to be your father, sweetheart,” he said one day, acting as if he was looking out for you and didn’t like the idea of how inexperienced you were in anything compared to him. but you didn’t miss how his eyes were viciously scanning your body from head to toe. “lucky for us you are not,” you would shamelessly flirt back.
at some point you got so confident in yourself that you started challenging and teasing john during meetings and calling him out, using your sarcastic/passive aggressive tone to disagree with him, and even interrupt mid sentence. he knew you were trying to rile him up, and he wouldn’t give you the satisfaction in front of others.
during the break, however, you would find yourself trapped under him on a table, with his one hand pinning your both above your head while he mercilessly pounded into you, making you a quivering mess of whimpers and whines.
“all quiet now, huh sweetheart?” he would question into your fucked out state, receiving incoherent mumbling as an answer. “don’t get shy on me now. let me hear you,” he would whisper, purposely hitting your cervix with his tip over and over to earn a loud moan from you.
“keep making those pretty noises, darling, and everyone will find out just how much you agree with everything i say.”
safe to say everyone in the room noticed how unusually silent you were when the meeting resumed, your cheeks flushed as you kept avoiding looking in the eyes of someone in particular, while he was confidently manspreaded on the chair, small smirk evident on his lips.
©️feinv, 2024.
#need something like this to happen to me#unfortunately none of my dad’s friends look like john wick#john wick#dbf!john wick#john wick fanfic#john wick smut#john wick x you#john wick x reader#john wick fanfiction#john wick x fem reader#john wick 2#john wick 3#john wick drabbles#john wick x fem!reader#john wick imagine#john wick chapter 4#feinv—jw
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hey boo!! can you do hcs about Emily x YouTuber!reader? and Emily pops up on readers channel sometimes? (hopefully this makes sense)
Couple Goals
(Emily Engstler X FemOC!Reader)
i love this! i put a little extra stuff in there to make a plot and i hope y’all enjoy!!
summary: normani’s a popular influencer youtuber dating wnba player emily engstler, emily keeps popping in and out of her videos and her fans are demanding a reveal
btw if yall didn’t notice already all my oc’s are black bcs i’m black don’t hate but that’s how i do it so🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
1.
You’re doing a quick “What’s in my bag?” video for your viewers, digging through your bag and pulling out each item to show your fans.
“..And this— is my lipgloss, it’s the Fenty Skin lip oil in the shade…” you quickly inspect the bottle “…Barbados Cherry! So cute and it’s an absolute essential, I bring it literally everywhere”
Reaching back in your bag you pull out a Burt’s Bees chapstick and stare at it confused “Who the fu—? Oh wait y’all ignore this, this is my girlfriends” you mention Emily offhandedly and move on to the next item.
— — —
Comments
user123: ik y’all heard her say gf..
user123: GIRLFRIENDDD??? RUE WHEN WAS THIS??
user123: no way y’all really thought she was straight
user123: she’s for the girls people we mf won
user123: Normani said that like we was supposed to know she was in a relationship
user123: CON😭GRAT😭ULAT😭IONS😭😭
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2.
You’re in your apartment kitchen doing a cute cooking video, you asked your subscribers what to make and they decided on a simple pasta.
“It says I need.. oregano” you turn looking into the pantry but can’t seem to find it, you call for Emily while still looking in the pantry.
“Babe! Where’d you put the oregano?”
The sound of the wooden floor creaking and footsteps gets picked up the mic for your camera and viewers get a glimpse of a pale tattooed leg before your voice comes back in.
“Wait nevermind— sorry” you laugh sheepishly and the viewers can hear a small scoff then the sound of the footsteps retreating.
— — —
Comments
user123: the tattoo?? y’all peep that??
user123: okay.. i see mani with a white girl
user123: chocolate and vanilla swirllll
user123: am i the only one who wants to know what she sounds like 😩😩😩
— — —
3.
"Y’all some freaks up in this comment section," you laugh, scrolling through the flood of questions and comments that popped up after the previous video. You’re currently doing a Q&A session to rile up the fans. The way they reacted to hearing about Emily has been hilarious to both of you, and you’re determined to milk it for all its worth.
“Okay, next question…” you squint at the screen, “'Can we see more of your mystery woman in your videos?' Hmm, interesting,” you tease, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “I’ll have to ask her about that one. She’s a bit camera shy, you know?”
You glance off-camera for a second, as if checking for Emily’s reaction. “Maybe if y’all behave,” you joke, smirking at the camera.
— — —
Comments
user123: LMAOO WE FREAKS AND WHAT ABOUT IT??
user123: yessss bring her on the channel!!!
user123: we wanna see more of ur bae!!
user123: pls do a couples Q&A
user123: Omg do the girlfriend tag challenge!!
user123: you’re so cute together 😭
— — —
4.
You're doing a morning routine video, starting off in your bathroom. The camera captures you brushing your teeth when suddenly, Emily’s muffled voice calls out from the bedroom.
“Baby, have you seen my phone charger?”
You quickly rinse your mouth and call back, “Check the nightstand drawer!” You then turn to the camera and chuckle, “She stay losing her stuff y’all”
The camera catches a glimpse of Emily’s hand reaching into the bathroom to grab something off the counter before she disappears again.
— — —
Comments
user123: the mystery girl strikes again!
user123: they’re so domestic I can’t 😭
user123: can we just get a full reveal already??
user123: the hand though…we’re getting closer!!
— — —
5.
You're filming a "What I Eat in a Day" video, and you’re in the middle of making a smoothie. Emily’s muffled voice can once again be heard in the background, teasing you about your ingredient choices.
“Spinach does not belong in a fucking smoothie”
You laugh and defend your healthy choice, “I know your ass isn’t talking, don’t you eat mint chocolate chip?”
“Literally how does that correlate”
“Don’t know, I’m just better than you” you sing song playfully and Emily scoffs with a chuckle
The camera catches a shadow moving behind you as Emily walks by, but she’s out of frame before anyone can get a good look.
— — —
Comments
user123: we need a taste test from mystery girl!!
user123: the random ice cream shade 😧
user123: I love their banter, they’re so cute
user123: is she ever gonna fully show herself? 😩
user123: spinach in a smoothie is actually fire tho
— — —
6.
You and Emily had just come back from Barnes and Noble and you’d decided to do a book haul video. As you describe each book, Emily’s hand occasionally appears, passing you the next one. You take one from her, and the viewers catch a glimpse of her tattooed wrist.
“Thanks, babe,” you say, smiling warmly off-camera.
Emily’s voice, slightly closer this time, says, “You’re welcome.”
— — —
Comments
user123: the tattoo is back!!
user123: we’re getting more and more pieces of the puzzle
user123: this is like the slowest reveal ever 😂
user123: her voice is so soft 🥺
— — —
7.
You're doing a live stream Q&A, and the chat is flooded with questions about your mystery girlfriend. You read one out loud, “Does she have any pets?”
You laugh, “Actually, she does. We have a cat named Rambo. She’s the cutest thing ever.”
As if on cue, Rambo jumps into your lap. Emily’s laughter can be heard off-camera as she says, “Clearly you can see Rambo is a little attention whore”
You stroke Rambo’s fur and look at the camera with a playful grin, “She takes after her other mom.”
— — —
Comments
user123: RAMBO REVEAL BEFORE GIRLFRIEND REVEAL 😂
user123: she sounds so sweet omg
user123: we need a full family video!!
user123: normani really said slow burn with this reveal
— — —
8.
You're doing a clothing haul, trying on different outfits in front of the camera. You call out to Emily for her opinion on one of the dresses.
“Baby can you come here?” you pout
The camera catches the sound of Emily’s footsteps as she comes from your living room to your bedroom.
You huff “I don’t know how I feel about this one”
“It looks beautiful Mani” she smiles
“You’re biased though! Ugh never mind, leave you’re not helping”
“I-“
“Bye bye!”
— — —
Comments
user123: y’all are adorable 😭
user123: NORMANI GO HUG HER
user123: we need a couple’s fashion haul!!
user123: normani being a hater LOL
user123: she’s so supportive, I can’t
user123: GIVE US A FULL REVEAL PLS
— — —
9.
You’re doing a skincare routine video, talking about your favorite products. Midway through, you pause and listen.
“Y’all hear that?” you ask the camera, a hint of mischief in your eyes. There’s a faint sound of music coming from another room.
“Babe, are you playing my playlist?” you call out.
Emily’s voice, closer than before, answers, “Yes?”
You shake your head, smiling, “Stealing my music taste now.”
— — —
Comments
user123: the music thief 😂
user123: their interactions are the best part of these videos
user123: reveal her already, we’re dying here!!
user123: can she do a playlist video too? 😩
— — —
10.
You're doing a “Day in the Life” vlog, and right now you’re at the gym with Emily. Currently walking on the treadmill with your camera perched, you’re just quietly talking to the camera while Emily can be vaguely seen in the back lifting.
“So, I’ve been trying to get back into a regular gym routine,” you say, wiping some sweat from your forehead. “It’s actual hell but having a gym rat girlfriend helps a little” You glance over your shoulder toward Emily, who’s focused on her set.
“There she is yall, in all her sexy muscly glory.“
Emily looks up, throwing you a wink, and smirks before returning to her workout. You turn around quickly, blushing and changing the topic “We usually start with some cardio, then move on to weights. Today’s leg day, which is her favorite.”
— — —
Comments
user123: we need that full workout video ASAP!!
user123: strong AND mysterious? we love her already
user123: y’all peep the way normani blushed?? this girls got her whipped
user123: couple goals for real 😍
user123: WE NEED A REVEAL ALREADY IM GOING CRAZYYYY
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**Couples Q&A Video**
You're both sitting on the couch, the camera perfectly capturing you and Emily side by side. This is the big moment your fans have been eagerly waiting for. Emily, looking a bit nervous but excited, has finally agreed to do a full Q&A video with you.
“Alright y’all begged and begged and begged and here it finally is. Meet Emily everyone!”
Emily enters the frame, waving shyly “I’m not really used to this youtube shit so don’t make fun of me”
“She sayin that like she hasn’t been in my videos for like the past few months but anyways”
“Man, whatever” she chuckles, shoving you lightly.
“Moving on!! Hopefully y’all kept it PG13 for this one so let’s dive right into your questions. The first one is... ‘How did you two meet?’”
“Babe, babe, let me tell it, let me tell it” Emily begs
“No! Every time you do, you tell it wrong”
She sucks her teeth “Do not!! Shut up, you stay lying”
“…Fine.. but trust imma cut you off the second you start embellishing shit”
“We went to the same college, I met her at the.. end of my junior year? Yeah the end and Mani was a sophomore, I was there doing college ball and she was on the cheer team. Very cliche we’re aware, during summer practices our times would overlap so I’d come in and see the cheer team practice, more importantly Normani in her little black shorts and Louisville Cheer Squad crop top.” she grins
You scoff, pushing her shoulder “You sound like such a perv”
“You were fine as fuck though. Still are” she chuckles lightly
“Get on with the story, Em!” you blush
“Whatever anyways, I kept seeing her and staring at practice and I kinda got the vibes she was feelin me too, plus my teammates and coach were sick of my sorry ass just staring at her, so I finally worked up the courage to ask her out and here we are”
“You made it sound cute.. I guess” you say sarcastically and she cackles.
“Two years and counting baby!” she daps you up and kisses you on the cheek
“Next question, ‘What does Emily do for a living? Oh! Oh! This is my chance to brag people!!” you drag out the last syllables “My beautiful, amazing, sexy, talented girlfriend is in the WNB motherfuckin A!”
Emily blushes hard, looking down and fidgeting with her hands. “You’re hyping me up too much, babe.”
“Too much? Nah, I’m just being honest!” you say, grinning at the camera. “She’s a beast on the court, y’all. Plays for the Washington Mystics, check her out.”
Emily chuckles, “Okay, okay, they get it. Next question.”
“Okay, this one’s fun: ‘What’s your favorite thing to do together?’”
Emily smirks mischievously but you notice and immediately go to cut her off
“Zip it! PG13, don’t be freaky and weird”
She groans “You’re no fun.. but we love cooking together. We try to cook something new for dinner” she leans in closer to the camera whispering “but we all know I’m the better cook”
You suck your teeth, pushing her head from the camera “Shut up, I’m better and you know it but we’ll even film something for you guys the next time we cook. Another question is, ‘What’s something you love about each other?’”
Emily smiles warmly, looking at you “I love how… supportive and caring Normani is. She always knows how to lift me up when I’m down.”
You blush and give her a quick peck on the lips before saying your answer “And I love how Emily’s always so thoughtful and attentive. She’s so good at remembering the little things”
Emily reads the last question “Alright, last question for today: ‘What’s one thing we always argue about”
“Where to fucking eat!” you blurt out “And it irritates me so bad because Emily will literally be like ‘baby you want Chipotle tonight?’ and I’ll agree and then right before dinner she’ll switch up and act like she forgot that we already agreed on Chipotle!”
“She’s such a liar, that happened once-“
“More like six times but okay”
“ONCE and don’t act all innocent like you can’t never decide on a place to eat, ever. She’s always like ‘Let’s have Qdoba— wait let’s have Taco Bell— wait no never mind I want—“
“Emily shut up! I do not do that! See? Lemme stop ‘cause we can argue about this forever but thank you guys for watching this and I hope y’all are finally satisfied now that you’ve met Emily”
“Thanks for all your questions. We had a lot of fun doing this.”
“And if she wants to stop being shy I’ll have her in a lot more videos”
“Bye!” you and Emily wave at the same time
— — —
Comments
user123: FINALLY!!! She’s so beautiful and sweet!
user123: This was worth the wait! You two are goals ❤️
user123: A basketball player? Ohh okay basketball wife
user123: YES PLS MORE VIDS TOGETHER
user123: their banter is everything 😩
user123: the way emily was blushing stop she’s so cuteee
user123: their arguments are so funny 😂
user123: you two are just too cute i’m actually over it
———
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I'm a dyke with some occasional flirtations with men but I'd never acted on that until last year. I was on a road trip out west (US) and had just been burned a couple times hooking up with women earlier in the year that didn't go anywhere though I was ready for a more serious relationship. so I'm stopped in denver at a hostel for a week and meet this guy from britain who's very masked AuDHD (like meee) and kinda eggy honestly, so we start hanging out and kinda become friends for the week and end up spending an entire day together and, like, he's cute and I'm feeling really flirty and horny for this guy, especially bc I'm a dom/top and he's kinda pathetic. I asked him the first night we hung out if he wanted to make out and he shyly declined so I was like, whatever, just taking the leap, but then the next day we start talking about sex and I mention I'm stone, so not down for piv, but I would be interested in sucking his dick bc I love giving head. I spend the next day with some other ppl I happen to meet in Denver, but on my last night there he nervously asks me if I'm still interested in sucking him off and I act a little coyly just to mess with him and he's sooo submissive like he's not gonna make a move, I'm gonna have to make a move, so right before bed I decided to take him up on the offer and sucked his cock in the bathroom of this hostel and he came in my mouth (which almost made me cum tbh) I then kissed him goodbye, went upstairs to jerk off, and left the next day probably to never see him again. didn't seem like we got caught, but I imagine we were far from the only ppl to hook up in that bathroom. you'd think the consequence of this would be some burgeoning, awakening bisexuality but I still see myself as a lesbian and ppl can die mad about it I guess.
anon you're living in a homestuck fanfic. this is hot af and i hope she finds herself and transitions
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Suyin Beifong is such a weird character narratively
In many ways, she's the weirdest character in ATLA or LoK in her place in the story, considering her actions and beliefs. Let's just walk through everything.
Suyin got herself involved in criminal activities and street gangs as a kid and helped rob stuff. Then she scarred Lin when Lin tried to arrest her for that. And the fallout from that is implied to have led to Toph retiring.
After that, Suyin was sent to live with her (extremely wealthy) grandparents. After a while, she left them and began traveling the world and trying out various things, including being part of a traveling circus, living in a sandbender commune, and joining the crew of a pirate ship. Note that pirates rob and kill people. Note also that Suyin seems to have felt just about zero remorse for any of the above, and expected and demanded that Lin forgive her for everything without getting an apology.
Eventually, Suyin had had enough of all the traveling and robbing and killing and circus performing, so she used her vast, vast family wealth and bought a plot of land to build her own city on.
Zaofu seems to be essentially a Beifong family dictatorship defined by Suyin's ideological beliefs. As far as I can tell, the guiding principles of the city are "progress," "modernity," harmony, order, and control. After all, as Suyin says "Thanks to Aiwei, there are no secrets in our city," and she evidentially likes that a lot. The degree to which Suyin values absolute control over her city can also be seen in how incredibly outraged she gets when Kuvira, Baatar Jr., and some other citizens decide to leave on their own initiative. Her anger at Aiwei's betrayal ("I want you to hunt down Aiwei and bring him back to me") also fits the same pattern. Interestingly, Kuvira always claims to have gotten 90% of her fascist ideology from Suyin and Zaofu, and I actually think she was telling the truth, that Zaofu was a city organized on proto-fascist principles and Kuvira merely applied its principles to the wider Earth Kingdom.
Now perhaps we should turn to Suyin's relationship with Kuvira, which always seems very odd to me. Suyin took Kuvira in when Kuvira was a young child and trained her and claims "Kuvira was like a daughter to me." Yet Suyin never seems to really treat Kuvira like a daughter when the two interact on screen, nor do Suyin's children seem to see Kuvira as a sister. Notably, when Suyin introduces her family to Korra, she doesn't include Kuvira, nor is Kuvira invited to the dinners with Team Avatar. It's all very weird.
Anyways, Korra first arrives at Zaofu, Suyin seems to expect her, the Avatar, to stay in Zaofu relatively permanently to personally tutor Opal in airbending. The idea that Korra has other important responsibilities which don't involve personally serving Suyin's interests doesn't seem to cross Suyin's mind. We also find that Suyin is sheltering Varrick and Zhu Li, awful, highly amoral criminals, from justice since they're useful. On the plus side, Suyin is willing to personally teach Korra and even Bolin metalbending. She even eventually offers an apology to Lin for her behavior when younger, an something which helps reconciles the siblings. Suyin even allows Opal to leave for the Northern Air Temple.
Then the Red Lotus attacks, Suyin helps drive them off, etc. Everyone realizes that the Red Lotus had inside help, Suyin uses Aiwei the lie detector to search for the traitor, it turns out Aiwei was the traitor, he flees, Suyin is suitably outraged, and so on. Then we get to something "interesting": Korra wants Team Avatar to go after Aiwei, Lin (correctly) points out that this is way too dangerous, and then Suyin lies to and deceives Lin to make her think Suyin agrees with her and go bed, before personally sending Team Avatar after Aiwei anyways, something which goes very poorly. Suyin and Lin have barely reconciled, and practically first thing Suyin does is lie to and manipulate her sister. And yeah, Lin is pretty pissed that Suyin "stabbed her in the back" next time they talk, but essentially the entire thing blows over with zero consequences for Suyin.
The next thing that Suyin really does in the narrative is lead Zaofu's security forces to help Korra, Team Avatar, Lin, and Tonraq take on the Red Lotus and rescue the airbenders. This is objectively a good thing, but it's also interesting, considering what we later learn about Suyin's isolationist beliefs. However, it's worth pointing out that Suyin had several personal motives for her actions here: Her daughter Opal is one of the airbending hostages, Lin her sister is evidentially going to be involved, and the Red Lotus had the temerity to attack Zaofu and Suyin is probably pretty pissed about that. Without these "ulterior" motives, I doubt Suyin would have been willing to get involved. Then Suyin helps everyone else defeat the Red Lotus, but doesn't really do anything too interesting as part of that. Cut to Book 4.
What Suyin mostly does through Book 4 is oppose Kuvira, but we still get some interesting material as part of that. We learn that Suyin was asked to help stabilize the Earth Kingdom between books, but she refused. Considering how the children she raised ended up handling things, it's very likely that Suyin would have ended up becoming a (bigger) fascist dictator, so Suyin's refusal is also probably a good thing, even though refusing to provide aid to a country in anarchy probably isn't the best thing.
Kuvira and Baatar Jr. disagree about this, and they leave for Ba Sing Se with "Varrick, my security force, and a few of Zaofu's wealthiest citizens." Suyin is so outraged she responds by declaring them (or at least Kuvira) exiles, forever banished from Zaofu. We also see the start of a couple tendencies which will reoccur in the season. These are Suyin blaming Kuvira for Baatar Jr.'s bad actions and Zaofu's citizens being pretty OK with Kuvira and her actions, while only the Beifong family hates her.
Next time we see Suyin, it's at Prince Wu's "coronation." Normally Suyin would absolutely despise a royal idiot like Wu, but she hates Kuvira so much that she's willing to join the other world leaders in imposing him on the Earth Kingdom (as a useful lackey?). After that doesn't work out, Suyin tries to convince Kuvira to step down, something which goes poorly.
A couple episodes later, Kuvira shows up with an army and demands Suyin surrender Zaofu, something that Suyin understandably is pissed about. Mutual recriminations result, Suyin again blames Kuvira for all the actions of her fascist dictator son, and so on. Korra tries to continue negotiations, but Suyin has already left to try to assassinate Kuvira in her sleep. That's maybe a reasonable reaction to what Kuvira is doing, but it's an odd way to treat someone who is "like a daughter" to you. There's also evidence that Suyin doesn't really get that people are legitimately loyal to Kuvira and legitimately believe in her ideology, or that Baatar Jr. agrees with Kuvira, is equally complicit in her policies, and would continue leading the Earth Empire in its conquests if she died. Anyways, Suyin's attempt fails, she ends up captured, and ultimately she's forced to watch Zaofu's citizenry bow to Kuvira and cheer her. Although there was still coercion involved, the fact that only the Beifong family refused to bow is still evidence that the "Metal Clan's" general population has a reasonably positive view of Kuvira and her ideology and the only reason the Beifongs don't is because they have a personal vendetta against her. After all, Kuvira's ideology derives from Zaofu.
After that, Suyin doesn't do too much, narratively. She escapes with her family from Kuvira and Baatar Jr.'s prison for them and she opposes Kuvira's attempt to conquer Republic City. Again, that's objectively a good thing, but Suyin opposing it also makes perfect sense given the depth of her vendetta against Kuvira. The only interesting thing is that Suyin instantly forgives her fascist dictator son and doesn't hold him the least bit accountable for his actions, while continuing to hate Kuvira after she apologizes. Again, more evidence that Suyin does not, in fact, view Kuvira as a part of the family.
Overall, Suyin is narratively very weird. Based on all that I've discussed above, it's clear that she's very much not a good person, nor is she particularly likeable. She basically runs a mini-fascist dictatorship, after all. Yet Suyin not only gets a massive amount of narrative attention (it seems like some of the writers really liked the idea of her and her family), but is always an ally of the protagonists and is never held truly accountable for her actions. Considering who she is as a person and her backstory, having her be an antagonist or villain would in many ways make more sense, but that's not the route they went.
TLoK was really into giving its antagonists half-assed redemption/quasi-redemption arcs (Tarrlok, Desna and Eska, Varrick, Zhu Li, Tahno, Zaheer, Hiroshi Sato, Baatar Jr., Kuvira), but Suyin doesn't really fit into this paradigm, since she was never an antagonist in the first place. The only characters across ATLA and TLoK who really remind me of her, in terms of being bad people who are never really called out by the narrative, are King Bumi, Varrick and Zhu Li, and Iroh.
Of these, King Bumi is a complete dick, but he's a much more minor character than Suyin and gets away with a lot due to being a "comedy" character.
Varrick is an absolutely awful person, but the narrative lets him avoid consequences for that since he's likeable and funny. Zhu Li really just tags along with his narrative.
Iroh is morally grey at best in the present and morally black in the past, but again the narrative avoids calling him out about it since he's funny and likeable and nice to the most audience sympathetic character, Zuko. The narrative even starts painting him as perfect and a saint after a certain point, something which continued in TLoK.
Suyin isn't like any of them. She's not a comedy character. She's not funny or likeable. And it's not like the narrative paints her as perfect, like it does for Iroh. She sometimes suffers the consequences of her actions, and I think she's supposed to come off as significantly flawed. On the other hand, the narrative never really calls out Suyin for any of her terrible behavior, bad actions, or general bullshit. She's never held truly accountable in any way for anything. It's all very odd.
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Unnamed Pt. 1 (Daryl Dixon x AFAB!reader)
This is my first time writing in a long ass time, so please, feel free to leave criticism.
word count: 3208
Summary: ex-cop!Reader's world is rocked thrice over when Daryl Dixon breaks up with them, they discover their pregnant and the world goes to shit in the span of a few months.
A/N: this is gender neutral, no other pronouns but you/your used. Reader is obviously AFAB since they get pregnant. Also this first part is hella slow. Basically just getting background out of the way. No y/n used. (No smut, angst? IDFK)
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Being a cop whilst dating a criminal is… well, interesting, to say the least. And in both of your defenses, Daryl’s not, like, a murder or anything, just petty theft and trespassing and the occasional assault charge (they never go further than a slight fine, it’s a small town in Georgia, nobody gives two fucks). The problem is the eldest Dixon--Merle, the GD bane of your existence--the dumbass is constantly dragging Daryl into his shit (drugs, to be clear) and the youngest refuses to stop riding along with him. No matter how hard you try, therefore, it's a constant point in arguments; much like this one.“You can tell him no!” you shout exasperatedly, for probably the millionth time tonight.
The ‘him’ in question is Merle Dixon, and the needed ‘no’ is Daryl refusing to ride along to one of his drug crusades. You weren’t even supposed to know about this run, Daryl kept that part of his life separate, per your request, keeping from having to turn either Dixon in, as your academy oath swore. However, the FBI had gotten wind of this trade--something about some cartel being included--and they started sniffing around in search of making a bust and you really didn’t need your boyfriend in federal prison for being associated with that.“Nah, I can’t!” Daryl shouts right back, smacking his hand against the shitty, peeling folding table he calls a dining table.
This has been going on for probably almost an hour now; you push, he pulls and it just turns into a vicious circle. It had started as an earnest plea, asking him kindly not to go on this run and he just scoffed, continuing to scarf down the three-day-old leftovers you heated up. Now it’s this screaming match, one you’re both tired of. You go to open your mouth to ask why, but he raises a hand, cutting you off like he can read your mind (he can’t, you’ve just had this same argument so many times, you can predict the exact words to come out of each other’s mouth).“He’s family, been there for me mah whole life,” he hasn’t, he’s been in and out of jail his whole life, but ok. “Least I can do ‘s be there for a simple run, done it a thousand times.”
You just groan in response, pinching the bridge of your nose as you pace, just trying to figure out what to say. How to change his mind. There’s a simple answer, you can’t; if there’s one thing you learnt almost immediately in this relationship is that once the Dixon mind is made up, it’s made up. “What?” he barks, clearly annoyed by your annoyance. “Nothing, D.” you mutter, shaking your head at this whole situation.
He huffs at that, knowing it’s not ‘nothing,’ but not wanting to know what it truly is, it’d just stoke the fire. Being the pouty baby he is, Daryl plops into a folding chair, the old hinges creaking at the intense weight add, crossing his arms over his chest. If you weren’t so mad, you’d find the scowl on his face and the way his muscles bulge attractive. A loaded silence falls over the two of you; the neighbor’s dog barks at something, presumably the car that can be heard driving across the old gravel road, a door slams, and cicadas chirp, having come back to enjoy the southern summer heat. “You know what? No--” you set your hands on the table, putting a stop to your pacing as you look over at Daryl, something indiscernible clouding your face. “What’re ya--” he starts, sitting up in the chair, cutting himself off as you butt in before he can finish. “It’s not nothing, Dixon. This--” a quick gesture to the air between the two of you, “isn’t ‘nothing.’ You insisting on going on your idiot brother’s crusades isn’t ‘nothing.’ And I get that he’s family, I do, but you shouldn’t have to throw your life away to repay whatever debt you think you owe him for sticking around!”
You’re the one to get cut off this time, being silenced as he scoffs, abruptly standing up from his chair, anger evident on his face, maybe even a hint of betrayal if you looked real close.“Fuck that’s supposed ta’ mean?” he asks, brows furrowing as he steps closer to you. “What’s what supposed to mean?” you ask back, confused by his sudden reaction. You didn’t think you said anything wrong, just expressed a very correct opinion.
“Ya think ‘m throwing mah life away?--ain’t like I got much ahead of me, right? Not like you do, right?” he puts extra emphasis on that last right, rounding the table to stand in front of you.
Another constant topic brought up in arguments--him thinking he’s got no life ahead of him other than ending up dead or deadbeat like his parents and you, having been dealt a much better card of hands in life, having much more planned for you. No matter how much you tried to convince him he could do so much more than be a lackey for his shithead brother, he denies and you guys end up ignoring each other for days until one of you cracks.“Well, newsflash, all of us ain’t got some shiny future waitin’ for us. Some of us got a life being a ‘lackey’ or whateva you said, fancy pants. And ‘m sorry if that ain’t good enough for ya.’” he states, invading your space inch by inch as he mocks your words. “That’s not--that’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant!” you stammer, panic slowly beginning to boil beneath the anger. If you thought he, or his family situation, or anything about him, wasn’t good enough for him you wouldn’t have put in the almost two years being his friend and another two and a half dating his stubborn ass. He continues his encroachment until you’re toe to toe, “Sure as hell sounded like it’s whatcha meant,” he snarls, rubbing at the scruff he has yet to shave before straightening his posture, looking away for a moment. He sucks at his teeth, huffing before he looks straight at you, something you can’t make out clouding his face, “I think you should leave.”
Your face falls, tears slowly welling in your eyes as the words leave his mouth. He’s not kidding, nor was it some sort of freudian slip, he wants you out. It seems different this time, too; not some enraged get out that gets resolved with rough make up sex, or the more tearful one that usually ends with sobbing in each other's arms.
This, this is different. He doesn’t look angry, there’s no tears clawing their way through his stubborn ducts, he’s just… blank. No emotion, other than that stubborn Dixon resolution. This feels like a breakup.“Fine, I’ll leave.” you huff, taking in a shaky breath as you turn on your heel to make the short trek to the front door. Shoes are haphazardly shoved on, the tongue stuck under your foot and laces shoved in, and your phone and keys shoved into a pocket as you head out the door, slamming the screen door shut behind you.
You don’t bother looking back, not wanting to risk the tears falling, until you hear the broken door of the Dixon trailer jimmied shut. A few tears slip from your eyes, angrily swiping at the wet streaks before continuing down the ‘driveway’ to your car.
Maybe if you stayed inside another minute you could’ve seen the tears glassing over Daryl’s eyes. Or maybe if you stayed outside another minute you would’ve heard the sound of another hole being punched into the wall of the Dixon trailer that continues out of sight as you drive away.
A few days pass by, no contact between you two, letting each other cool down; at least you thought. It’s about a week before you try talking to him the first time, having stopped by the car shop he works at to bring him lunch (a BLT from the greasy dinner, the one next to the even greasier motel near the edge of town). The only response you got was a sideways glare before he huffed and returned to fixing the neighbor’s old pick up, leaving you to put his sandwich on his toolbox and walk back to the station.
Another three days pass before you try again, approaching him in the rundown bar, but again, he ignores you, turning away and slipping into the crowd Merle had gathered. You don’t want to be desperate, but you try calling him a few times, no response to all four calls. As a week turns to two and two to three, your attempts become less and less often.
Around week four is when you got the letter; your application to attend the new agent training for the FBI has been approved. Holy-fucking-shit. You read the letter over and over until the words turn to blurry specks you can no longer decipher and that’s when the nausea kicks in, heaving into the bushes by your mailbox. You write it off as stress sickness, between your breakup and now this; I mean, it’s a big deal, going from beat cop in bumfuck Georgia to a possible FBI agent in Virginia.
You wait on the decision, debating if you want to uproot the life you’ve set up here, getting sick a few more times in the process. You try calling Daryl after a few days of thinking to no avail as he doesn’t answer; that helps you make your decision, handing in your badge the next day and spending the last few days of the week packing your stuff into a u-haul.
You stand on the last step of your shitty porch, staring at the even shittier two room house you’ve called home for the last five years, tears welling in your eyes as you think back to the memories. They’re not all good, not all bad either, and the longer you stand there the more you regret your decision, so you wipe away the few tears that slipped down your cheeks and turn away.
Away from the house, down the step and down the uneven pavement you call a driveway and to your car. You open the door of your baby (a lovely ‘69 Chevy Impala you got from an old lady a few years back), taking one more look back before sliding into the driver’s seat and starting the car: starting your new life.
Settling into your new apartment in Virginia wasn’t as hard as you thought it was going to be; honestly it was a breeze. The whole move was a breath of fresh air, it's nice being in a city where you don’t have to worry about everyone knowing everything about you. The only bad part is you still feel like crap--physically, not mentally, or not really--you’ll have to find a doctor soon anyway, the FBI academy requires your health records and you do not remember the last time you had your shots.
It’s about a week before the academy starts, so you decide it’s time to get to the hospital and get everything checked out. The doctor you booked with seems nice enough when you get there, going through a routine checkup: reflexes, blood pressure, weight, shot records and updates, all that lovely medical stuff. “So, dear, I’m all done, unless you have any concerns of your own?” the doctor asks, tapping a manicured nail against her desktop as she looks up at you through thin framed glasses. “Uh, yeah, actually, these past few weeks I’ve felt pretty nauseous. I don’t think it’s anything, just the stress from my move and all, but I wanted to make sure before I started work.” you tell her, a faint blush painting your cheeks under her gaze; normally you could never admit something like that, not without it getting out and people forming all sorts of conspiracies.
“Hm… Well, you’re healthy as a horse, so you’re probably not sick. It most likely is the stress.” she tells you, standing up, her heels tapping as she moves in front of you, red painted lips pursing in a thin line, “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
“W-what? No. No, there’s absolutely no way I could be preg--” you stammer, trailing off as you think back to about two months ago. You and Daryl had been drunk off your asses, desperate, sloppy.. “Here, the bathrooms down the hall and to the left.” she hands you a pregnancy test with a chuckle, clearly oblivious to your inner panic. “And don’t worry, this kind of thing happens all the time.”
You have to hold back the urge to glare at her when you get up from the chair, annoying hospital paper crinkling beneath you. How can she just play this off like it’s nothing? It’s not nothing, you could be pregnant! This could fuck everything up, you can’t attend FBI academy whilst pregnant.
Squatting awkwardly over the toilet so you can piss on the stick while simultaneously managing not to miss the bowl, you hum to yourself as you actively avoid meeting your own gaze in the awkwardly placed full length mirror. You finish, quickly tossing the pee-stick into the sink and deal with the rest of your business before pacing the bathroom as you wait the longest three minutes of your life.
Your phone is in and out of your pocket, continually checking the time until three minutes have finally passed; thank god. You grab a paper towel, reach in the sink and grab the test, trying to find the courage to look at the results. Before you can psych yourself out you look, your heart sinking as you stare at the two pink lines glaring up at you.
You feel sick, you are sick, apparently; there’s a full ass human growing in you. As you gag over the toilet the doctor knocks on the door, slowly pushing it open. An apparent sympathetic expression reading her brows as she moves to gently rub your back. She sits with you until your stomach is emptied, the only thing falling into the toilet being tears.
“It’ll be ok, honey, it will. No matter what you decide.” she tells you as you both exit the bathroom, having spent a good ten minutes sitting on the floor dreading the future. You haven’t a clue what she means by ‘no matter what you decide’ until she passes you a pamphlet for an abortion clinic, offering you a pity smile as you leave the room.
The rest of the day is a blur, between swinging moods between rage and depression it’s hard to keep track of when what happened. You can’t go back to Georgia, you don’t want to go back to Georgia, but what’s going to happen? You know absolutely nobody and your plans have been utterly fucked. So, what? Get rid of the kid? Maybe? No. Maybe… No. Just get a job, raise a kid, yep, sure; this has to be the worst thing ever.
Surprisingly the next month of pregnancy isn’t horrible, you snagged a desk job at the local police department, and you’ve been setting roots down. The doctor--Lillian, you learn, the doctor from before--has been a big help, a friend, you’d consider her; she has a kid of her own with her wife and has been coaching you through your first trimester of growing an unnamed fetus growing within you.
You’re sitting pretty in your OB/GYN’s office, waiting for her to come in and do your four month ultrasound and tell you the gender, which you hope is some because if you have to listen to anymore of the incessant drone of the news anchor you might go insane.
Finally she walks in, all chipper smiles and pink gloves as she wheels the ultrasound machine in behind her. The gel is cold, making you hiss as it’s smeared across your stomach, the tech chuckling at the reaction. “Do you have any names picked out yet?” she asks, getting the machine all kicked up and ready. She tuts playfully, as you shake your head no, waving a hand through the air. “Well, no pressure, I had a friend who didn’t pick a name until her kid was crowing.”
You cringe at that, finding it to be way too much information; if there’s one thing you know for certain, it’s that you’re getting a c-section. Natural birth seems scary as shit.
“Are you excited to find out the gender?” is the next question asked as she drags the transducer across your stomach, trying to pinpoint the child. You shake your head again, a ‘yes’ this time.“Yeah, I am. I don’t have a preference, but I figured knowing the gender would take a little stress off, knowing what to buy and all.” you tell her, pulling a chuckle from both of you. She nods in agreement, cheering quietly as she finally finds the baby. “In that case, I am happy to tell you that you are having a…” she moves the wand around a little more, squealing happily, seemingly having found the right angle, “girl, it’s a girl! Congrats!” she beams, reaching around to press the print button on the machine.
A sigh leaves your lips as you stare up at the black and white blob that is your baby; a baby girl apparently. Wow. You smile as she hands you the pictures, ‘Congratulations’ scrawled on the bottom of the film.
You can’t seem to find words as the doctor hands you a paper towel to wipe the excess gel off, her head wiggling as she celebrates on your behalf. She busies herself with cleaning everything up as you pull your pants pack on properly, ready to leave the room before something catches your attention.
There’s a red banner rolling at the bottom of the TV, words flashing ‘breaking news.’ You tap the doctor’s shoulder, asking her to turn the volume up on the TV. Her face falls at the sight, nodding as she clicks the volume up several notches. “Breaking news, multiple reports of a virus outbreak have been recorded in the last several hours. There has been little comment from the government--Wait, one moment please,” is the only thing you manage to hear before a loud and annoying blare emits from the TV, “This is not a drill, I repeat this is not a drill,” and back to the news guy.
“This just in, cities are going on lockdown, soldiers invading hospitals and the government is advising everybody to stay in their homes. Do not try leaving your city, stay at home or indoors. There has been an outbreak. I repeat--” what the fuck? You listen to the spiel again, trying to wrap your head around what he’s saying.
A nurse rushes in, ushering you out of the room and out the front door, bidding you good luck. There’s already panic starting in the streets; people are flooding stores and cars jamming the streets.
You know how you said being pregnant was the worst thing ever? Scratch that.
#daryl dixon x reader#the walking dead daryl#the walking dead#the walking dead x reader#the walking dead x y/n#the walking dead x you#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x gn!reader
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