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gale-gentlepenguin · 3 years

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Gale reviews: ML Season 4 episode 18 Wishmaker

-So basically career day for students. But there is like a fair for it.

-Chloé says she is rich and that it doesnt matter.

-Adrien has a crisis over what he wants to do. Confirmed that adrien only models because his dad asked him to.

-Adrien saying that Ladybug will eventually replace him... ( Oh hi rocketear, Optigami and Sentibubbler. The angst is still there

-Plagg being more successful cheering adrien up.

-Marinette felt sure until her kwami started questioning her purpose.

-So she goes to the Fair and Alec proves he is litterally an awful human being.

-Andre getting roasted! XD

-Well gotta give points for Andre the ice cream man. He really believes he has value.

-Andre just DECIMATED ALEC! WOW. I respect the Ice cream man now. i gotta move him off the list.

-Andre backstory revealed.

-Well Luka's voice got deeper in the english dub.

-Luka is an instrument maker? You know what that makes sense. Side note... He is like 15 right? Boy already has a career making instruments...

-Well this platonic Lukanette sure is interesting. He actually makes a decent Tikki. Maybe if he was a kwami it would be better

-Alec swinging in with a guitar app to roast Luka. Points on that one but My bet is it doesnt work

-Oh! Luka pulls out the Violin. So this was how it was confirmed

-OH MY KWAMI THE CRINGE OF THAT MONOLOGUE! But yea, Luka is right tho.

-And Alec showing cracks in the persona.

-Marinette impressed with Luka for a moment and Luka just like "Oh Adrien is right there."

-So now we get to Sad adrien

-This episode is sending mixed signals. I dont like it.

-Also Adrien's fear is legit

-Oh wow Lukadrinette moment. Is this going to be their version of loveater?

-Luka is basically the Andre of Music.

-Okay so he is listening to both.

-And he plays the violin. Well this was nice

-Alec just keeps taking the L's today. Point is if you are doing what you love, you cant let others shame you for loving it.

-Alec just had a breakdown. Dude... please give him a hug

-Shadowmoth you are doing that same s*** to your son

-PEOPLE! DONT JUST STAND THERE AND LET HIM GET AKUMATIZED!

-Wishmaker looks cool.

-A MAN TURNED INTO SANTA

-JAGGED'S CHILDHOOD DREAM WAS TO BE A CROCODILE. UNLESS SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS. This is amazing!

-GIANT ROBOT DREAM!

-Luka really prominent in this episode. I am on the fence on this

-Croc jagged doesnt know how to swim

-Chat noir takes down the robot.

-FIREMAN COWBOY!

-Someone wanted to be a cucumber... He got turned into a cucumber... That is the funniest s*** I have ever seen.

-Okay so the phrasing is Chat noir was confused on why Ladybug would get revealed if she got hit. Marinette admits to wanting to be the knitting fairy.

-Chat noir confessing he had no idea what he wanted to be. Just realized Chat noir really hasnt been making any jokes so far... Okay I am NOW CONCERNED

-Luka CHILLING WITH his crocodile dad is hilarious. "Dad Crocodiles know how to swim." "I didnt know that as a kid" DID THEY JUST EXPLAIN A PLOTHOLE AWAY!

-Viperion appears.

-I am getting a very bad feeling about this.

-OOO! They added sparks to the transformation. Cool.

-Wishmaker making a convincing arguement.

-Oh Luka screwed up

-And... Marinette just got exposed... Also the costume is adorable! But Luka knowing when it was his fault... WHAT THE FRIG?!

-AND LUKA NOW KNOWS ADRIENS IDENTITY!

-Also Adrien... sweetie. You deserve better than that dream

-So senti-adrien theory might hold more water than we thought.

-I am just gonna say it. Viperion... You SUCK TODAY.

-Luka outright LYING to Ladybug. HE KNOWS BOTH OF THEIR IDENTITES

-DINO HUGGIE!!! ITS LIKE A CAREBEAR BUT BETTER!

-And thats how they win.

-Wishmaker charm looks cool.

-Alec decides to make a new show.

-Dude... Luka F***ING LIED! Like I get why but... oh Kwami I have thoughts

-So no cap. ALEC'S new costume is amazing!

_____________________________________________________________

Luka knowing BOTH OF THEIR IDENTITIES?! WHAT THE F***

I am pissed for both of my children.

Marinette put her trust in Luka and when she asked if he knew HE LIED TO HER. He basically knows who she is and thats a danger she cant predict. Luka doesnt have an akuma charm! Luka is a danger to her. HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER! WHAT HAPPENED TO HONESTY?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TRUTH MATTERS?! THIS ISNT A MATTER OF FEELINGS LUKA! THIS IS A MATTER THAT IS CONCERNING!

And Adrien. Adrien has yet to tell anyone his identity. And the first person to find out is someone he never told? This is even worse because LAST EPISODE! Adrien found out about Carapace and Rena Rouge. His faith in secret identities is going to be shattered.

Despite my emotions.

8/10

I am still iffy on him knowing tho

#ml #ml spoilers #WISHMAKER #I HAVE THOUGHTS #GALE REVIEWS

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linopetal · 3 years

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lily calla’s.

genre : mostly angst ( ? )

pairings : na jaemin x reader

warnings : mentions of underage drinking , cursing , like one mention of making out , cheating

word count : 1.8k

authors note : oh wow :O this fic is personal in a way 2 me bc its based off of something that happened to me - today in class i saw a sight and it brought up old feelings which inspired this fic. i hope you enjoy it <3 !

you vividly remember the first time you had met na jaemin. it was your first day in the first grade. you had been so nervous. you were often quite , not outgoing at all , you didnt know how to react when you walked into a classroom full of people. everyone had introduced themselves. but one person stuck out to you , na jaemin. you remember the smile plastered on his face when the bell rang for recess. you ran straight towards the monkey bars. when you looked right behind you , there he was. he slowly walked up towards you with a big welcoming smile on his face, “ hi im jaemin , nice to meet you “ he said. “ oh um im y/n “ you nervously spoke. that had been your first encounter with the black haired boy. and that had been the start of your blossoming love for him.

in the sixth grade , your mom took you to a halloween carnival. you vividly remember the purple and black witch costume your mom made you. you loved that costume. halloween was one of your favorite holidays and times of the year , you always loved trick or treating and getting candy. your mom had decided to take you to a near by carnival. as soon as you got there , you ran to find soonyoung , your best friend since kindergarten. “ y/n do you want to go play go fish ? “ , soonyoung asked you. “ of course “ , you responded. you remember your poor skills of attempting to throw the ping pong ball into the water. after 5 tries you finally decided to give up. but around that time , you saw in the corner if your eye jaemin walking up to you. you had felt butterflies overcrowd your heart. “ hey y/n , i beat i can win you one ! “ he said joyfully. and again you were so happy. you remember him winning you a goldfish. you decided to name it nana after him. you kept that goldfish for years.

in the tenth grade , you remember that you were finally planning to confess. after years of being in denial for how you felt , you finally accepted it was time to tell him. you were mistaken. you and jaemin were only mutual friends , never reaching passed that stage. you didnt talk consistently. so you were taken aback when he randomly walked up to you one day during lunch. you thought that maybe this could be a good time. he looked happy today , maybe you would not receive a bad response. again , you were mistaken. when he finally reached you , he said words that broke you just a little , “ hey y/n ! do you know what somin’s favorite flower is ? i heard you two were friends and i wanted to get her something for her birthday since i kind of like her “ , he said nervously , scratching his head. you gulped , completely overwhelmed with feelings. of course you were happen he liked someone. somin was always kind and funny. how could he not like her ? she was particularly perfect. in this moment , you felt far from even remotely decent. you sighed and looked up with a fake smile , “ of course ! she always told me how she loves lily calla’s ! “ , you said , attempting to try your best at acting fine. beauty....thats what they represent , somin was beautiful. you were decent. she offered more than you could ever. “ thank you y/n “ he smiled and walked off.

you remember how you dreaded the eleventh grade. that year was something you could never forget. jaemin and somin were known as the best couple there was in the school. in class , they always were hand in hand every second and you hated it. it had been so many years yet you still loved him. and how ? you dont even know. but during that school year , you had finally decided something.

you had noticed this boy in your algebra class. his name was lee donghyuck. he was always so funny. he made jokes that could make you laugh endlessly. one day you had decided to ask him out. you knew you werent over jaemin , but you also knew you never had a chance. so you told yourself “ fuck it “ and went for it.

it was an impulsive decision, did it matter to you tho ? no. you nervously walked up to donghyuck with your hands in your pocket as he was putting his books in his locker. “ what do you want y/n “ , he said smirking “ “ hm i was thinking about if you want to go out with me on friday night ? “ you tilted your head towards him , “ i guess so “ he said smiling , “ see you then at eight , pick me up “ you said.

those were all members because now its your senior year and you finally had a boyfriend , couldnt you be more happy ? truthfully , you werent as happy as you planned. you were not over jaemin. you didnt think you ever would be. you tried to fall for hyuck , it was just hard. jaemin had been your one sided first love. but you still tried to love hyuck.

there was a party hyucks friend jaehyun was throwing. he had asked you to come as his date. you were beyond excited since parties with donghyuck had become a usual thing. he had helped you branch out of your shell and get out and experience things more. you were grateful.

you had decided to bring him coffee this morning to discuss him letting you stay at his place friday night after the party. as you were walking up to him , you noticed the change in his mood. why had he been acting strange lately ? for the last week , every time he looked at you , he seemed so uncomfortable as if he didnt want to be around you. you chose to ignore it and let it be. “ hey i brought you coffee like you like it “ , you said smiling “ thanks “ he said shortly , you chose to think he wasnt having a good day. after a few minutes of dry responses from him , you got fed up and left for class , you hoped this week didnt suck.

wrong. friday came along and you felt unusually odd. soonyoung had messaged you about her coming over to get ready for the party with you. as soon as you heard the doorbell ring , you ran towards it. “ soonyoung hi come in “ , “ you look so good “ you said “ no you please “ you both laughed and headed to your room to get ready. “ hey soonyoung , im starting to feel like donghyuck doesnt like me anymore “ you said pouting , “ really , ive seen the way he has acted lately. i hope its just a short phase “ she said patting your shoulder , “ yea me too “ you said slightly smiling. “ you look so hot woah come on lets go “ she said.

arriving at the party , you went straight to find hyuck. you had asked a couple of people where he could have been yet you hot no replies. you decided to wait it out and hopefully he would show up later. you went to grab a drink for yourself when all of a sudden you ran into someone “ oh- oh wait im so sorry “ you said , “ oh no its fine “ the male said and i soon as you looked at him you noticed it was jaemin , “ oh hi jaemin “ “ hi “ he said while chuckling , “ have you seen donghyuck “ “ have you seen somin “ you both said in unison. laughing you both shook your heads no. he looked so beautiful , you thought. you looked so pretty , jaemin thought.

“ well im going to go look for donghyuck “ you waves bye and headed towards the upstairs. you thought maybe he went to use the bathroom. again , wrong. as you walked farther up the stairs , you noticed heavy breathing. at first you were concerned so you made your way to the room you heard it from. as soon as you cracked the door open , you were met with a sight you didnt think you would ever have to see. somin and hyuck in a heavy make out session. “ what the literal fuck “ you steadily said loudly as you opened the door. “ yn i swear its not what you - “ hyuck tried to say but someone cut you off. “ what’s happening here ? “ a male said. as you turned around jaemin was right behind you. “ jaemin - are you sure “ he softly pushed you aside and witnessed the sight for himself. “ what the hell somin ?! i did nothing to you and you pull this shit. “ he said angrily , “ its not my fault you are inlove with the fucking bitch behind you. i needed someone who could love me not you “ she spat out. “ w-what “ you said. “ jaemin you l-love me ? “ you eyes widened. you heart swelled. you didnt know what to feel so you just run outside with him running after you. “ yn wait please ! “ he scream , “ you waited so long ? jaemin why didnt you tell me earlier ? “ you said out of breathe , “ because we never talked , okay i didnt think you liked me back and i still dont think you do “ he said , “ jaemin ive been inlove with you for as long as i can remember. “ you said tearing up and walking towards him , “ r-really ? “ , you nodded hugging him “ yes jaemin , i love you “ he smiled back at you and kissed your forehead , “ i love you too , now come on let me take you home before you get so cold “ he said “ your too perfect na jaemin , too perfect “ you both smiled. “ oh and jaemin , lily calla’s were always my favorite “ you said softly smiling , “ yea ive always known “ . many things were wrong in this world. you and jaemins mere love for each other was not one of them.

#nct #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct angst #nct au #nct fanfic #na jaemin #jaemin #jaemin au #jaemin fluff #jaemin imagines

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bokutosbestie2 · 3 years

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Chapter 1

Hi guys!! This another story I’ll be working on, I hope you guys enjoy!

Summary: (This takes place during the time skip!! ) Y/n gets dumped by her boyfriend .. 2 days later her best friend Semi Eita ( age 24 ) is hosting a party. Y/n ( age 22 ) goes to the party and ends up getting drunk which lead her to pick a fight with a stranger.Then Astumu Miya (age 23 ) came into the rescue and is now stuck with a strange drunk girl...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆

2 days ago..

" Wait so you're breaking up with me? " I say

" You heard what I said we are done! "

" BUT- I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING... "

" That's the thing I can't keep a secret anymore I don't... Love " you " anymore.. "

" Oh. " I say as my heart just shattered into a million pieces.

" Yeah sorry I can't go on like this... “

Now back to the present day:

" WAIT SO HE REALLY SAID THAT? " Semi shouted in the studio.

" YEA HE DID... WHAT a jerk"

Well... at least your single for the biggest party of the year! " Semi nudged my elbow

" YAY! A party after getting told "I don't love you anymore... " I rolled my eyes

" Well at the party you can meet new guys! You never know you might be the one.. " " OH hell no! I'm so over guys right now, all I'm going to do is drink my sorrows away." " Oh gosh when you get drunk it's the funniest thing ever.. " Semi says as he tries to keep in his laughter " YEA YEA WHATEVER! "

The last time I drank was at an after-party after a huge photoshoot I did for a model... And let's just say I broke my arm.

" Ok well Semi if I'm going to your party tonight I have to get going so I can get ready! " I tell him as I get up from the studio chair.

" Ok don't be late! It starts at 10pm! " he shouts as I leave the studio doors. Was I excited for the party?

Maybe a little bit after getting dumped it wasn't the best thing to do. I do need a distraction from the whole thing, so maybe the party will do wonders! I mean I'm still young after all, I'm only 22.. I just have to live my 20s like a huge party....YEA THATS MORE LIKE IT!

After getting lost in thought my stomach started growling . To be fair it was 7pm and I haven't eaten since 5am.

I looked around to see if there was any nearby places to eat on my phone. There was a place called " Onigiri Miya " only about 3 minutes away.

So I got into my car and drove there. Once I got there I parked in an empty spot and hop out of the car.

I walked into the restaurant only to get greeted by a guy about my age. He has dark hair and he was wearing his work uniform. Not gonna lie he was pretty good-looking.

" Hi! Can I get a 3 Salmon flake onigiri! " I say

" Yes of courses 3 Salmon flake onigiri coming right up and total will be 700 yen." the young man says.

I paid him 700 yen after that I sit in the restaurant waiting for my food. All of a sudden I heard yelling from the back.

" ATSUMU HELP ME MAKE SOME ONIGIRI! I NEED TO TAKE THEM TO A PARTY AROUND 10! "

" OSAMU IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU TOOK UP THIS OFFER! "

I assume the one name Osumu is the one who took my order. Also, they have to make onigiri for a party that starts at 10? Maybe he is catering for Semi party..

After hearing the bickering between the two males in the back. Osamu comes out with the 3 huge salmon onigiri.

" There you go miss.. " he said as he gave me the bag to go.

" Ah thank you so much! ‘

" Not a problem please do come back soon!" he said as I walk towards the door. I gave him a small little wave.

I got into my car and drove straight to my apartment to get ready for the party. It was already about 8:30, I still needed to get dressed.

So I hit straight for the shower after I put on a pink short sequin mini dress. Next, I straighten my short/long hair, then I did some light makeup.

Once I was done getting ready I check the time and it was 9:30. I was only about 20 minutes away from the building where the party was being hosted it at. I leave my house and get going to the party.

I got there I could see a crowd of people waiting to get in. LUCKY FOR ME being friends with Semi I don't have to wait to get in.

I park my car, as I get out of the car I text semi that I'm here so he can bring me to the party.

5 minutes later

Y/N! OVER HERE! " Semi yelled while waving his arms.

" I'M COMING! "

" Oh wow, you look really good! Watch out some guys are going to try to hit on ya! " Semi said laughing.

" Oh gosh, I'm so over guys right now. " I said. " Ok whatever, let's get into the party! "

" Yay! " I say sarcastically. Once Semi opened the back door, we were at the party. Purple lights were everywhere, there was a bar on the left. Everywhere you would go there would be someone dancing or girls flirting with boys.

" SHEEZ Semi this party is pretty big! " I yell over the music.

" DIDNT I tell you it was going to be one of the biggest parties! " He said.

" I didn't think that big! "

"It's a party it should be BIG! " Semi said as we

walked through the crowd. Then he stop near a table where Tendou and Ushijima were at.

" Hey, guys! " Semi waves at them

" Hey Hey! " Tendou said jumping.

" Why you guys here? Tendou wanted to come huh! " I say looking at Ushijima.

" Yea Tendou wanted to come, I don't trust him at parties especially when he drinks. " Ushijima said in his usual monotone voice.

" He gets crazy huh! " I ask Ushijima Ushijima just nodded.

" HAHA BE CAREFUL When y/n drinks she brok- . "

" SEMI YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT MY EMBARRASSING STORY.. "

" I'm just saying Be careful with her tonight," Semi said as he walked away with other people. " Well EXCUSE ME BOYS ILL BE HANGING AROUND THE BAR NOW! "

" Be careful y/n don't drink too much" Ushijima said

" YEA BE CAREFUL USHIWAKA can't take care of 2 Drunk adults tonight! " Tendou said laughing.

" YEA YEA ILL BE GOING NOW! "

I walked through the party, and I kept running into people. I was so over this night already but I'm a good friend and I need to stay for Semi.

Once I got to the bar I asked the bartender for a Bloody Mary. I was not having it after a break up especially.

Soon before I knew it I had about 6 shots and was already drunk.

As I sat there a random guy about my age sat next to me.

I was already out of it but it seems like he was trying to flirt. I'm not in the mood for this, so I get up from the chair. All of a sudden the man grabs my arm. Who the heck does he think he is?

" When I'm talking you stay and listen! " the man says.

" Yea no! " I say as I try to leave his grip.

" You aren't leaving unti-"

There I did it I slapped him... Damn, that was pretty bold of me!

" You ho- " the man said as he tried to hit me but someone stopped his hand.

" Don't you see she drunk ? " the blonde guy said.

At this point, I have no idea what's going on but this blonde muscular guy just helped me... I think...

Chapter 2

#msby atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya astumu #hq atsumu #fanfic #haikyuu time skip #osamu miya #haikyuu x female reader #atsumu fic #haikyu timeskip #msby black jackal

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boojersey · 5 years

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VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

#LONG POST #KAY I LOVE U BUT HOLY SHIT MY FOLLOWERS ARE GONNA GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM SCROLLING PAST THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED #saltwaterfox

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theharlequinwriter · 6 years

Text

He’s Just like you.

Summary : you and sam have a bad fight causing you to leave not knowing your pregnant and its a couple years later

Word count : 2,720

triggers: swearing.

“Dean wheres sam”

I stood on my tip toes looking over deans shoulder looking for my tall boyfriend sam.

“He took of with that demon bitch”

I gritted my teeth.

“Ruby” I hated her more than anything , I knew that she was lying to us about helping dean outta going to hell but of course we couldn’t took a damn angel to save him. I hated how much sam trusted her , I feel like he would chose her over me , so I avoided the question during fights. I sat back on the couch grabbing my food from the brown bag dean had.

“You okay y/n?”

“Im fine why?”

“You seem upset lately maybe a little bitchy”

I pushed deans arm , taking a bite of my burger. We sat watching movies until at least midnight when sam finally came back in the door. Dean and I both turned now looking at sam who stood there as if he had just gotten off work.

“Where were you sam?”

“With ruby babe”

He walked by grabbing his salad pecking me on the cheek. I heard more footsteps and in walks in the demon herself ruby.

“Why the hell are you here demon bitch”

“Watch you’re tone with me hunter skank”

I walked around the couch coming face to face with ruby.

“Lets go bitch”

I pushed her back , sam came grabbing my hand leading me to the kitchen.

“What the hell y/n”

“Really sam”

“What?”

“You brought her here knowing how I feel about her”

“Shes helping me”

“I can help you sam”

“Not like she can”

“Are you sleeping with the bitch or something”

“What no”

“Then what the hell sam , why am I getting the 3rd degree here”

“Shes helping me y/n more than you or dean ever could”

“Wow sam I stayed with you even after dean went to hell ,I stayed when I found out you’re a demon blood junkie , I stayed even when she came” “No one asked you too y/n”

His hands now clenching into fist.

“I didnt ask you to stay , you did that all on your own”

“What was I gonna do sam , let you go y2k on everyone and everything?”

“I dont know y/n but it would of been easier if you just left”

“Really why so you could fuck her without feeling guilty after , oh im sorry I mean "helping” you"

“Actually you know what y/n yes okay yes im fucking ruby ,ya happy now , wanna know why? Cause she doesnt bitch all the time , she doesnt need me to protect her , id rather her have my back at least I can depend on her”

“SAM!”

dean yelled stepping between us.

I felt my heart shatter In pieces, I felt tears forming , I didnt want him to see me cry.

I walked away still hearing him yell at dean about how ruby is better for him than me , how maybe I should just go. I went to our room grabbing everything I could , smashing pictures as I walked around the room.

“Okay sam , hope your happy”

I walked away grabbing my bag and a little money. I gave dean a hug then I walked out the door not looking back.

I finally got to a cheap hotel where I got a single bed for the weekend. I walked inside falling onto the bed tears falling down my face. How could he say that. I took a shower , getting out my phone had a text from dean.

-hey y/n think it finally hit sam your not coming back , he might try call ya Ill let you know if he does anything stupid and dont worry about ruby ill gank her soon-

I didn’t reply i want sam to worry to realize im not going back.

Its been two months since I left, i decided I need to get a apartment in a little town where supernatural things didn’t occur. I went into the little market buying some food and shampoo oh and pregnancy test.

I got home taking the test , it came back positive only one guy could be the father.

Sam.

I havent slept with anyone else or even looked at another guy I still loved sam.

*TWO YEARS LATER*

“Mommy , mommy look”

I got down on knees taking the drawing out of ethans hand.

My son ethan looks just like his father , he has his eyes and hair , his laugh , smile. He makes me miss sam everyday.

“Thats amazing baby , what is it”

Looking at the drawings it was a very tall person with a cape and what look like dogs.

“Its daddy , you said hes saving people from devil dogs , silly mommy”

I put it on the frige placing him in his seat. I gave him his lunch , he always wanted to know about sam ever since he had a play date with a kid who had both his parents. I told him sam was off saving the world from monsters like ghost and devil dogs. He always asked if his daddy was coming home or will he ever see him.

He was so smart for a child his age. After lunch I asked if he wanted to go to the park to play and feed the ducks.

We got in the car buckling ethan into his seat. When got to the park , ethan took off for the swings. I sat on a bench close enough to see but not so close I can’t see my surroundings. Im still a hunter after all. Ethan was playing tag with some of his friends when another mom came and sat next to me.

“Hey y/n , how are you”

“Im fine susan ,how are you”

“Honestly a little shook up , some fbi agents came to the house asking about murders”

“Creepy”

“Oh my thats them”

She pointed her finger over at two men in suits , walking twords us. I brushed my hair into my face , I turned to her but she was already gone. As they got closer I could hear them banter back and forth.

“Excuse me miss may we ask you some questions”

I sat up looking up at the man who spoke.

“Hi sam”

His jaw dropped as I spoke to him , I flashed a smile , I jumped up hugging dean before reaching out offering sam a hug. He pulled me in hugging me tightly his hands rested on my lower back. I pulled away still having the smell of him fill my nose

“So what’s going on , I havent heard about any murders”

Dean spoke when sam just stood there with a big smile across his face.

“Happend in the 80’s thinking its a wendigo who went quite”

“You guys still gotta gank it nice or not a monsters a monster right”

“Right”

Dean winked at me before sam cut in.

“So uhh whats new”

“A little this , a litte that”

I didnt tell him about ethan, I didnt need a absent father in his life Sam kept glancing at the ground then back at me.

“We ganked ruby”

“Oh im sorry ”

“Im not ,she was tricking me”

“Oh well cant trust anyone I guess”

“Ive missed you y/n”

“I miss you too sam”

His smile grew bigger.

“Maybe we can get a drink tonight and talk”

“I can’t im sorry”

“Oh you got a boyfriend or something?”

“No ”

Dean now trying to help his brother spoke now giving me his best charm.

“Why dont the three of us go get a drink and talk about getting the band back together”

“Id love to you guys but I cant”

Sam was about to protest when ethan came running from the playground.

“Mommy , mommy I caught a bug”

I picked him up sitting him on my hip.

“Let me see”

He opend his hand showing a dead cricket"

“Its dead hun”

“I know silly mommy , it was scaring lisa so I saved her , like how daddy saved you from monsters”

I kissed his cheek putting him back down , crouching down I grabbed his hand.

“Go say bye we gotta go home”

He smiled running off to say bye, I stood up sam and dean both wide eyed and speechless. I waved my hand in front of sams face making him snap out of his trance.

“You have a a a a son?”

“Yea his names ethan”

Sam stayed speachless watching ethan run back to us.

Ethan stood by my side , gripping my pant leg tightly. Sam crouched down pulling out his fake fbi badge.

“Hi im sam”

Ethan grabbed his badge.

“Im ethan”

“Tell him your full name ethan”

ethan tucked his head into my leg before looking back at sam smiling.

“My name is Ethan Samuel Winchester”

Sams head shot up looking at me, he stood up trying to figure out what to say.

“Ethan hunny dont forget your toy”

He ran back to the swings where his toy dragon sat in the sand. Sam finally spoke.

“Is he mine?”

“Yes sam , hes your son”

“When did you find out"

"Maybe a month and a half after I left”

“Why didnt you call?”

“Didnt think you would care”

I could see tears filling up his eyes. Ethan walked over , picking him up I gave sam and dean quick hugs before walking to my car , shaky and on the verge of tears.

*sams pov*

Dean and I just killed off the 90 year old wendigo. Dean decided we had a crazy day so the bar was the perfect place to go. We sat down at a table near the back , dean ordered 6 shots of whiskey , 3 for each , and two beers one for each. As we drank my mind kept snapping back to y/n and our son.

“Sammy?”

I snapped out of my day dream to dean cheersing me with his shot.

“So you’re a daddy sam”

“Im not a dad im just the biological father , I wasnt there for anything”

Dean downed his other two shots , so did I. He raised he hand asking for 3

More rounds. We were in the middle of our 3 or was it 5th round with jack when I finally yelled.

“Why the fuck didnt she call me dean? Ya know just be like oh hey sam im pregnant with your child just fyi or a text something”

“You told her to go sam , told her you wanted ruby , that you were cheating on her with ruby , that you wished she left , you made her feel worthless , unloved , unwanted , you were so jacked up on demon blood you didnt care when she walked out the door”

I buried my face in my hands , dean was right , it was my fault she never came back or called , I dont blame her for hiding him from me.

Dean cleared his throat.

“She clearly tells the kid about you”

I looked up at him , feeling tears build behind my eyelids.

“What?”

“She tells the kid about you I mean you didnt hear him say he saved the girl from the bug like his daddy saved her”

My heart beat hard agianst my chest. I had to see her ,tell her everything. I stood up but dean pushed me back into my seat.

“2 more rounds”

After we drank I felt the room spinning , my thoughts jumbled between y/n and ethan , and more alcohol. I walked outside feeling the cold air hit my face.

“Cas!”

I yelled when I heard the sound of wings I turned to see 3 cas’s , he spoke but I couldn’t hear him.

“T-t-t take me to y/n”

Next thing I knew I was infront of a little white house.

*y/n pov*

*BANG BANG*

I ran to the door , it was 2 am who the hell is banging at my door this late. I opened the door to find a very drunk , very sad sam.

“Sam?”

He smiled pulling me to his chest.

“Y/n!!”

I took him inside sitting him on the couch handing him a water bottle.

“Sam what are you doing here?”

“This right here ”

He patted his hands on the couch.

“Is where im meant to be”

“Sam please dont”

“Please just listen”

I sat next to him making sure we didnt touch.

“Y/n im so sorry for how I acted , for what I s s s said , ruby was a lying bitch just l l like you said. She tricked me into horrible things I never had sex with her , I never even looked at her like that , I was so junked up on demon blood that I didnt see that you were what I needed , w w what I need baby.”

I saw tears falling from his eyes now when he spoke.

“Baby you are my world , and we have a son , , I dont blame you for keeping him from me, but I I can’t , wont miss anymore of his life or yours , I need you back y/n , im so sorry so so so sorry”

He was now full on crying , I could tell dean had gotten him drunk so he could say how he felt. He looked back at me , his eyes blood shot and his breath smelling of whiskey.

“He has your eyes sam”

“Really?”

“Yeah , he is just like you more and more everyday”

I felt tears falling down my face.

“Sam you can come back but you have to be here , I wont let you hurt ethan”

“I wont ever hurt eaither of you”

His hands grabbed mine pulling me to him so now I was sitting on his lap facing him. He put one of his hands on my lower back while the other rested on my cheek. He closed the gap between us his lips gently touching mine. I kissed back running my hands through his hair making the kiss deeper.

“Ive missed you so much sam”

I helped him upstairs ,letting him sleep in my bed. As I layed next to him , he wrapped his hands around my waist pulling me into his spooning me.

“Does ethan know about me?”

“Yeah he knows you and dean hunting monsters like ghost and demons but he thinks your a superhero”

I heard his laugh as we fell asleep. I woke up before sam untangling myself from him. I walked downstairs where ethan sat watching his morning cartoons. I called him over to the kitchen sitting him in his chair I went to the frige grabbing things for pancakes.

“Mommy what’s wrong?”

Ethan looked at me smiling

“Nothing baby”

I walked away from my mixing bowl picking ethan up sitting him on my hip. Grabbing my wallet I took the picture of me sam and dean out handing it to him.

“That right there is your uncle dean , hes really brave and the tall guy thats your daddy sam he’s my hero”

Ethan smiled holding the picture, I walked into the kitchen sitting him down on the floor. I heard steps coming from upstairs.

“Ethan hun I have a surprise for you”

His head snapped up looking at me with wonder.

“What is it mommy?”

“I want you to look at that picture real close”

As he squinted his eyes , sam came down standing at the walk way into the kitchen.

“Now ethan look up”

Ethan looked up from the picture , as his eyes met sam , the biggest smile formed across his face.

“DADDY!!!”

he ran over grabbing sams legs as sam picked him up.

“Daddy your back!”

Sam hugged him tears falling down his face. His eyes locked onto mine.

“Daddys home now ethan”

After breakfast dean came over so ethan could know his family. As sam and I did dishes his hands grabbed my hips spining me around so now I was face to face with him.

“Y/n I wanna be a family”

“We are sam”

“I wanna make it offical”

He reached into his pocket pulling out a ring.

“I know its not much but will you marry me ?”

“Yes sam oh my lord yes”

He kissed me , my hands tangled in jis hair as we parted I could hear ethan and dean.

“Ew mommy and daddy are kissing”

“I know right gross”

I smiled at sam , knowing he will always be there for ethan and I

#Littlebrothersammyimagines #sam winchester imagines #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader

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ts-autumns-world · 3 years

Text

ROP

As promised here are the rites of passage that Captain, Jinx, and Mikki wrote for the cast!

All of Jinx’s Messages: https://youtu.be/kbk2GI6nW-E

Captain: hey khalid! its been a short 4 days with you but i know that ur such an amazing person and u have such a bubbly personality. i do wish we get to know each other more.. its a bit sucky that your schedule kinda prevented you from being a bit more active :((

Mikki: KHALID I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS BUT I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO BE FIRST BOOT. i really didn’t. You were so busy at the beginning and we didn’t talk a lot but the little time we did have talking to each other made me see how calm and good it felt to talk to you. I had such a good feeling and really wanted you to stay around longer but unfortunately it wasn’t anything i could do on my own. I hope we get another opportunity to get to know each other properly.

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Captain: we didn't meet each other in this game but i hope u had a fun time even though its short! and hopefully, we'll see each other around the community mwah!

Mikki: we never got to meet but you seem genuinely fun and i’m sad i never got to meet you!!!! I’m sorry we sent jinx to the outhouse during the tribal you were voted out on. Idk if them being there would have helped at all but ashjsajhasjh if it would have i’m sorry!!!!

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Captain: i've seen you around but we haven't rlly talked/met each other yet. u seem to be amazing and i hope we'll get to play together some day

. Mikki: i’m also sad we didn’t get to meet!!!!!! You really seemed super active and i’ve never seen you around before so i was hoping our paths would cross but unfortunately that never happened :((

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Captain: we haven't been able to meet so its such a missed opportunity to not get to play together. you seem to be very cool! hope u had fun in autumns world

Mikki: it was so nice to talk to you and i feel so bad about how unlucky you got in the tribe swap but i had to do what i needed to to keep my tribe and grey safe like i wanted.

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Captain: OMG BENJ sobs... urgh i wish you made the merge so that we could meet each other again and our trio of you/me/mikki would have streamrolled the season! i enjoyed every conversation we had and u rlly are such a dedicated player. and u deserved the BEST!! i wish you the best and i hope to see you around in the community and maybe we'll get to play together and go the end together WOOO! urgh.. ur so sweet sobs...

Mikki: *takes a deep breath* this is going to be the hardest one to write. And i don’t even know what to say because nothing i do say will properly express how fortunate i am that we got to actually properly meet and talk!!!!!! And become friends LIKE BENJ I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH and i’m so sad at how robbed you were. You were genuinely my number one and i looked forward to talking to you constantly every day. Talking to you was so easy and our plans for the future of the game MADE ME SO EXCITED and i was so ready to play with you and make moves and have fun and go far together. Your elimination made me really sad and i was in a big funk for a long time after and even at my worst in like f6 when i was ready to give up, autumn would ask me “what would benj say” and that one question made me snap out of it and fight further. When i found an idol at f5 and got to play it all i could think about was when you told me you wanted to find an idol to bring it to me to show me and i’m just :SOB: we really got robbed in getting to play together in merge and i really hope we get another chance to. I wish i did more to protect you. I should have done more and it was my biggest regret since. Thank you for being an incredible ally to me and reminding me what i love the most about games: making genuine friendships that mean more to me than the game itself. Ilysm <3

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Captain: i know we didn't end very well on cow and thats kinda the main thing that made me not fully trust you in this game. its probably my bad cause i think you really wanted to work with me but i mean in our short time here, we did work together! good luck with everything in your life blake!

Mikki: blake!!! It was so fun to play with you while we could. I’m sorry you felt so left out in the tribal we had together before you went out but i hope you understand it wasn’t anything personal and i really did just assume you and raffy were close. I’m sorry for not trusting you more.

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Captain: awww Lily! i rlly enjoyed our conversation! like you were the one that i felt that our conversation just flew naturally and i loved how u tried to talk to me and ur just the sweetest!! i'm happy we met here cause ur literally so cool and so nice. u have this calming energy that i don't know how to explain dsfsdfsdfdsf. but YEA!! i hope u feel the same way as me and hope to see you around in the community!!

Mikki: ahhhhh right before you left you told me that we will see if i made the right choice with who i sided with and sahsajhjhjas i like to think i did??? and i hope you agree. You were so so so kind and i’m sad we didn’t get to know each other before merge, i had to make a gut instinct kind of choice and it sucked that i had to make it so soon. I wonder how differently things would have been if i voted with og llih instead and kept you safe. You fought til the very end and it inspired me so much

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Captain: RAFFY! we were such a perfect pair when u told me ur also tired of talking to ppl dfsdfsdfsdf thats a big mood! urgh.. i rlly wish u could've gone a bit further because ik u trusted me a lot and i also trusted you... in some way just because i had other alliances. i tried so hard to save you but yea it didn't succeed. i hope ur doing great and hopefully we'll meet again

Mikki: screams RAFFY I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW OR NOT BUT this whole season i’ve had one burning question on my mind Does Raffy Remember Me? BECAUSE we played together in a game once before but i didn’t REALISE it was you at first so we both said it was nice to meet each other but then i realised it was you !!!!! from bb glass but i never knew if you knew it was me or not and i didn’t bring it up because HJASHJASJH I WAS WORRIED IDK IT WAS JUST an ongoing thing and became kind of a meme and i’m so excited to know the answer. But anyways ashjashjs i’m sorry for trying to vote you out but i really meant it when i said i wanted to play with you after. I wish we could have!!! I wanted us to have a redemption arc and be allies for real so badly. But my alliance with jinx and chris changed their votes to you and were so paranoid but i think they just didn’t want to vote out grey HJASJHASJH and i ended up caving out of fear. I had so much fun playing with you tho!!! And the superidol was one of the most exciting moments of this game even tho it did mean i lost one of my closest allies.

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Captain: I wish we talked more tbh because u were the first person to dm me in the swap and i was like lily o is so cool and i liked lily o a lot! but then we just didn't talk after that. I know its partially my faults but ur fun to talk to when we got to talk to each other! u may not know this but u were kinda the part that made me put more effort into this game when i lied to you about wanting to target jinx/mikki and u told mikki about that and she told me back hehe! hope we see each other around lily!

Mikki: LILY YOU WERE ONE OF THE FUNNEST PEOPLE TO TALK TO!!!!! I had such a blast in our dms. I feel like we could talk about anything and it was fun. Hell you even explained the history of pacman to me and i was INVESTED in every part of it!!! Voting you out was partly fuelled by how good you are at comps and partly because i got bitter about the timezone advantage comment ashsahjsahj but nevertheless i found you incredible to talk to and play with and i’m so happy we could meet and have fun with each other while we did!!!

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Captain: JOEYYYYYY! i still feel bad about that pyramid challenge because u shouldnt have gotten me as ur pair lmaoo. i literally didn't know anything americans!! anyways!! our time together is for sure interesting. cause like ik ur with me but then u told jinx and monty that they need to be careful about mikki/captain and thats the reason why i didnt fully trust you in game! like ur a good ally but sometimes, ur doing too much. also, i appreciated u trying to talk to me a lot. I wish i did the same with you but life was so crazy that i could only reply with like short answers that didnt give anything much. At least we made it to jury together this time!

Mikki: joey joey joey joey JOEY sjhhjsahjasahj oh my god it was a time and a half with you i swear. I would talk to you and then go into my conf and rant about how JOEY KEEPS SAYING I’M A THREAT GRRR IM SO ANNOYED and then i would talk to you more and go back in there after 2 minutes and be like “nevermind i love joey again” ahjashjsahj you are such a great friend joey and you give me so much joy to talk to. One of the things i’m most proud of is winning that endurance comp and i would have never done that if it wasn’t for you shjashj YOU PUSHED ME TO PLAY BETTER AND GO HARDER and i’ll never forget that. Thank you for helping me see what i’m capable of and for being a genuinely kind and fun person to be around.

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Captain: oh monty DFSDFDSFDS we didn't really talk much privately but most of the times i talked to you, i was always honest with you and i think u were the same way with me too so it kinda raised my eyebrows a bit when u told me that we're gonna be worried about captain/mikki later in the game fdsfsdfsdfsd i didn't talk much game with you but ik u played a good game even though i think u might not know whats going on most of the times lmaoo!! anyways, its been a fun time with you and ofc, u can't get rid of me cause im gonna be haunting u as an intern in CoW forever!!!

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Mikki: PLS ASHJASHJA we didn’t talk much at all in this game apart from when tribals were happening and that was extremely iconic of us ashjashjasjh i appreciate and love you so much monty!!!! You’re one of the best people i know and i’m glad we got to play together for a hot second even if it wasn’t for long and it was just these super rushed convos before tribal while i was awake at a ridiculous hour ashashjas

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Captain: okay so ur vote is literally the HARDEST vote ever in my org history but it has to be done because you and jude were such a tight duo and yes i knew about u having 2 idols and giving jude one since the beginning of the merge. i feel like that was the right time to, as autumn said, blindside. but you know i LOVE you so much. my grandpa! You are literally one of the nicest people in this community and your words have helped me a lot in this season. it hurt me so much to vote for you but thats how the game goes and i hope u understand because i value our relationship so much. we've played together for 4 times now and i love you more and more each time we play together. i just love ur puns and like ur old ways of saying things fsfsdfsdf that #chrisstyle and i just love everything that is YOU. i know we're gonna be fine after this and i hope ur proud of me and forgive me for voting you out. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Chris i LOVE YOUUUUU. sobs. im so happy we got to play together again ahhhhh

Mikki: chris you are literally the nicest human i’ve ever known. You exude such a genuine kindness i can’t even comprehend it. Your messages always put a smile on my face and voting you out was the hardest vote i ever did and i literally wrote in my conf that voting you out would be like blindsiding your grandpa after he helps you move in and has a cup of tea with you :sob: like you’re just one of the best guys i’ve ever met and have this pure wholesome kind energy i’ve never encountered with anyone else. Playing with you was amazing and i loved our alliance with captain and jinx. But i knew your game was incredible and to see myself and captain get any further we had to do the unthinkable. You had the magician in my tarot readings for a reason and it’s because you’re so powerful!!!!! I can’t wait to ask you so many questions when this is over.

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Captain: bae- i still don't know why you had a crush on me but we had such a cute showmance arc in this series. i mean yes i targeted you for a few times just because we didn't talk before fsdfsdsdf like we communicated in the house chat but no one actually dm'ed each other first so im like i don't know where ur head is at and u seem to be dangerous to my game!! i mean u ended up not voting for me so thank you for that even though i can't do the same. i have to say that i enjoyed our convo a lot.. u always lit up my smile whenever u dm'ed me with tiktoks or like just ur random chit chat LMAO! the only downside was that we didn't rlly talk game much except for that one vote i think the lily o vote where we talked about getting joey out and ended up voting for lily o. but yes, i will miss our convo here a lot grey :(( u deserved BETTER!

Mikki: GREY OMG you’re one of the funniest people i’ve known. Our dms were so chaotic and you always broke the ice in the tribe chat by saying the randomest and funniest things. Thank you for making me laugh and for sharing your stories with me and chris and jinx on call. I really enjoyed getting to know you and i care so much for you. Also you appreciate captain and for that you have taste HJASHJSA

---

Captain: JUDE!! you were such a powerhouse in this game like literally had u made the final 2, u would've won for sure and thats the reason why i fought so hard in the pressure cooker comp cause i couldn't risk you getting into the final 3 and potentially won the last IC. So i'm so sorry i had to vote you out. i had such a fun time getting to know you like just like i told you, i liked you since the premiere night when i watched ur intro vid and was like 'JUDE IS SO COOL' in my DR and i wanted to play with you.. then we got to play together and got to know each other. We didn't get to talk game much but like ik i could trust you in some ways! and again ur the coolest jude.. that pressure cooker will go down as one of the most iconic pressure cooker challenges in the tumblr survivor history for sure. hope to see u around the community

Mikki: JUDE i’m so sorry everything ended the way it did. I always meant what i said to you, that i would love to see you win. And you absolutely deserved to. Your game was amazing and i spent every second admiring you and everything you did. From the moment we played tic tac toe together i knew i was a jude stan and i’m so happy we got to have so much fun together and PLAYED PYRAMID TOO!!!! You’re absolutely remarkable and an easy person to love and want to protect, i can only dream of having your social game. You also never voted for me even when i thought you would BECAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT IT MADE THE MOST SENSE but you never did and i’m really emotional about that. I think so highly of you and i hope we can be friends after all of this <3

---

Mikki: WE FINALLY GOT TO WASH AWAY OUR SAILOR MOON SINS CAN YOU BELIEVE ASHJHJASHJASAHJS we finally did it!!!!! YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!!! I am so proud of the game you played and i know it wasn’t easy for you at all. You showed just how much you wanted this and you never took the easy route. I’m proud to have played alongside you and for all our nights watching survivor and 7th heaven YOU ARE ALSO ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS and i love you so much

---

Mikki: you know how much you mean to me. I love you so much and i’m so happy we once again got to play together. I am SO proud of you and the game you played. You’re an under the radar genius who knows how to get your information and how to use it. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF LITERALLY ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO and i love seeing you constantly prove yourself wrong and show just how incredible you are. You always put me first and take care of me :pls: i am so lucky to have you as one of my best friends and i can’t tell you enough how much i love you. Thank you for being in my life <3

#tsaw #end game

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kounfetti · 6 years

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[Diabolik Lovers: Dark Fate] Subaru Sakamaki Dark 06 Translation/Traducción

Please no reposting onto other sites, just link back to this post-and ask me before translating this into other languages!—-Por favor no republiques y preguntame antés de traducir a otras idiomas.

English

Scene: Tsukinami Living Room

Shin:-----Good work. Let’s go.

Shin: All of the Sakamaki brothers have retreated into the Demon World, brother.

Carla:....Expected.

Shin: I was only able to get to the third son, I guess they´re stronger than we thought?

Carla:....Shin.

Shin: What is it, brother?

Carla: Do you know the difference between the weak and the strong?

Shin: Eh? Hm.....Is it not just physical power?

Carla: Nope, wrong. The people who have the most to lose are weakest.

Shin: So that is weakness?

Carla: It goes both ways. A strong person....has the least to lose.

Shin: Heheh....I guess so. So in short, you´re stronger. So-----

Shin: They´re weak for that woman, so we should capture her, right, brother?

Scene Change: Bedroom in the Sakamaki Mansion

Christa:-----Have you tried this before?

Yui: T-Thank you....

Yui: (Ever since that happened, I´ve wanted to spend my time with Christa...)

Christa: Oh, Corderlia. You surprisingly have a thing for sweets. So much sugar....

Yui: (Like before, she still thinks I´m Cordelia)

Yui: (She´s called me that so many times that I just let it go.)

Christa:....Fufu..

Yui: What is it?

Christa: I apologize. I didn´t think I´d be able to open up about these things with you, but,

Christa: It makes me happy. Drinking tea with you.

Christa: It always felt lonely here. But since I began to talk with you, everyday became fun.

Yui:.......

Christa: Even though we´ve had our problems, from now on, lets have a good relationship, Cordelia.

Scene Change: Sakamaki Grand Hall

Yui: (....As I thought, when we´re together, everything is normal.)

Yui: (But....as soon as she sees Subaru, she loses her calm.)

Yui: (I´m glad that she is forgiving towards me, but its hard that she still treats Subaru in that way....)

Subaru: Yui.

Subaru: Are you alright?

Yui: Yea, we drank tea together.

Yui: Subaru, were you waiting?

Subaru: Obviously. What’ll happen if I’m not around.

Selection: You wont feel worried? or You´ll feel worried, right?

♥You´ll feel worried

Yui: You´ll feel worried, right? Thanks, Subaru.

Subaru: S-Shut up! I wont say it again, you idiot!

Subaru: If you understand that, then as least be a bit more careful. You´re in danger right now.

Yui: S-Sorry.....

Subaru:...Well....you´re seemingly distracting yourself, so I´m glad.

Yui: Yep, its really fun! I get to hear about various things.

Subaru:....Various things?

Yui: Stuff about the demon world....And today, we talked about the evening party.

Yui: She also talked about how smart her older brother was.

Yui: Christa has an older brother, right?

Subaru:......

Yui:....Subaru?

Subaru:....Its nothing,

Subaru: I´m returning to my room, treat your wounds as usual.

Scene Change: Bedroom in the Sakamaki Castle

Subaru: Do the wounds still hurt?

Yui: Nope, it was just excess debris so it didnt cause anything big. But you already know that.

Subaru: Nope, there still is.

Yui: No way, there shouldn´t be?

Subaru: I know that, just be quiet and let me treat them.

Yui: Well, is there somewhere to even treat? I dont know if there´s any wounds left over.

Subaru:....Over here.

Yui:....Isn´t that furthur down?

Subaru: Small things like that dont matter! Don´t argue!

Subaru:....Dont laugh at me. Shit.

Subaru:....You dont have any wounds left, thats good.

Yui: I dont think I felt any in the first place.....

Subaru: I dont mind.

Subaru: I dont want you to have any wounds....I dont want you to end up wounded because of me.

Ending Monologue Selection

He spoke like he was the one who hurt me.

The wound almost fully healed, Subaru kissed my cheek.

With a sad expression, he told me over and over again to not get hurt.

Correct Options: #1自分のせいで/Own fault & #2 傷/Wound

Dark 05 ♥ Dark 07

Español

Escenario: Sala de los Tsukinami

Shin:-----Buen trabajo. Vamonos?

Shin: Todos los chicos de la familia Sakamaki escaparon al Mundo de los Demoños, hermano.

Carla:....Como pensé.

Shin: Solo podí herir al tercer hijo, supongo que ellos son mas fuertes de que lo pensabamos?

Carla:...Shin.

Shin: Que es, hermano?

Carla: Sabes la diferencia de las personas fuertes a los que son debiles?

Shin: Eh? ....Hm. Es algo mas que el poder físico?

Carla: Nó, incorrecto. La persona que tiene mas que perder, es el mas debil.

Shin: A si que eso es la debilidad?

Carla: Al contrario, una persona fuerte tiene lo menos que perder.

Shin: Heheh.....supongo. En breve, tu eres fuerte. A si que-----

Shin: Esa mujer es una debilidad contra ellos, esi la capturamos, hermano?

Cambio de Escenario: Recamera en el Castillo Sakamaki

Christa:----Haz tomado esto antés?

Yui: M-Muchas gracias....

Yui: (Desde lo que pazó, yo quiero pazar lo mas tiempo posible con Christa....)

Christa: Ah, Cordelia. Tu sorprendamente tienes algo para las cosas dulce. Tanto azucar....

Yui: (Como antés, todavia pienza que soy Cordelia.)

Yui: (Me a llamado eso tantas vezes que ya no mi importa...)

Christa:...Fufu..

Yui: Que es?

Christa: Lo siento mucho. Nunca penze que hablaria de estas cosas contigo, pero,

Christa: Me haze felíz. Tomando té contigo.

Christa: Siempre sentí sola aquí. Pero, desde cuando empezaste a hablar conmigo, cada día era mas divertido.

Yui:.......

Christa: Aunque hamos tenido problemas en el pazado, desde ahora y adelante, tengamos una buena amistad. Cordelia.

Cambio de Escenario: Gran Salón en el Castillo Sakamaki

Yui: (....Como pensé, cuando estamos juntas, ella es normal.)

Yui: (Pero.....cada vez que ella ve á Subaru, pierde la calma.)

Yui: (Estoy feliz que ella es simpatica con mio, pero, es dificil para mi cuando todavia trata á Subaru en esa manera....)

Subaru: Yui.

Subaru: Estas bien?

Yui: Si, tomamos té juntas.

Yui: Subaru, tal vez, estavas esperando?

Subaru: Obviamente. Que pasará esí no estoy.

Selección: No estarás preocupado? ó Estarás preocupado?

♥Estarás preocupado, verdad?

Yui: Estaras preocupado, verdad? Gracias, Subaru.

Subaru: C-Callate! No lo dijeré dos vezes, tonta!

Subaru: Esí entiendes eso, tenga más cuidado! Estas en peligro ahorita.

Yui: L-Lo siento....

Subaru:...Pues...parece que estas destraendo te, esta bien.

Yui: Si, es muy divertido. Oigo de todas tipos de cosas.

Subaru:....Todas tipos de cosas?

Yui: Cosas sobre el mundo de los demoños....Y hoy, hablamos sobré la fiesta nocturna.

Yui: Tambien hablo sobré la inteligencia de su hermano mayor.

Yui: Christa tiene un hermano mayor, verdad?

Subaru:.....

Yui:....Subaru?

Subaru:....Es nada.

Subaru: Voy a regrezar a mí cuarto, trata tús heridas como siempre.

Cambio de Escenario: Recamara en el Castillo Sakamaki

Subaru:----Todavia duelen, las heridas?

Yui: No, solo era escombros a si que no causo algo mayor. Pero, tu ya sabes eso, verdad?

Subaru: Si, todavía.

Yui: No deberia haver sobra?

Subaru: Ya lo sé. Sé obeidiente y dejame tratarlos.

Yui: Pues, donde vas a tratar? No creo que hay heridas todavia.

Subaru:....Aquí.

Yui:...No es un poco abajo?

Subaru: Detalles así no importan! No discutés!

Yui: Fufu.

Subaru:....No te riés de mi.

Subaru....Ya no tienes heridas, que bueno.

Yui: No sentí que teniá...

Subaru: No es molestia.

Subaru: No quiero que te hagan heridas.....No quiero que salgas herida de mi culpa.

Monologo Final Selección

El hablaba como esi era sú culpa que yo salí herida.

La herida casí sana, Subaru besó mí mejilla.

Con la cara triste, mi dijo repitidamente que no salga herida.

Correct Options: #1自分のせいで/Propia culpa & #2 傷/Herida

Dark 05 ♥ Dark 07

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers dark fate #dark fate #subaru sakamaki #sakamaki subaru #subaru sakamaki translation #subaru sakamaki traduccion #diabolik lovers traduccion #diabolik lovers translation #kaetranslates #kaetraduce #diabolik lovers en español

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thepondonthemoon · 6 years

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reasons why i hate humanity #1

Looking back on my childhood experiences, I can sort of understand where my..dislike.. of humanity comes from.. so this will be a ‘series’ of sorts focusing on those experiences (why? because im bored and i have nothing better to do).

When I was 14 years old, I entered a toxic friendship with this girl...let’s call her Tiffany. Now Tiffany had a rough childhood with a dominating mother who she was convinced hated her because she wasn’t that great academically blah blah you get the picture. Tiffany claimed to have depression and anxiety. I say ‘claimed’ because she wasn’t ever really properly diagnosed with the disorders, though she definitely had some of the symptoms. Ok so here we have a sad, anxious girl who just wants a friend. Who’s that friend? Me. Alright, no problem there. Oh, but there was a problem.

Problem: Tiffany would place her needs and wants in higher priority than what I needed; in other words she dominated the friendship. She would call me names, put me down, degrade me, but then when I told her to stop she’d laugh it off and say that “it was just a joke, don’t be so serious!”. Ok, sure. As someone desperately trying to fit in, I started to reciprocate and call her names, put her down and degrade her since, according to her, it was “just a joke”. Haha. She told me to stop and proceeded to tell me, in full detail, how hurtful those words were, and how I should feel ashamed for talking like that to someone with depression and anxiety.

Tiffany would complain on and on and on about her family situation and about how scared and anxious she was at home because of her mother, and so being the good ‘friend’ that I was, I listened. I listened because even as a 14 year old I understood how fucking important it is to listen to other people when they talk. But what about me? What about when I wanted to talk about myself? She would always loop it back to herself.

Example: Me: You should watch Dragonball Z! It’s really cool and I really like Goh- Tiffany: WOW your parents are so lenient and wow that must be really nice huh. Me: Well.. I don’t really like being at home though sinc- T: HAHAHA I wonder what it’s like to not want to kill yourself. Me: ..Uh I wouldn’t know eithe- T: I don’t care about your life!! Your life isn’t as bad as mine so stop complaining!!!

Alright. Sure. I mean, this ‘friendship’ was very similar to my relationship with my mother so I was already used to that sort of treatment. So I kept going along with this.. (i cant call it friendship so im going to call it) thing... and it was okay for a bit. I mean yea, I was exhausted and empty and hollow but anyone would be after dealing with abusive relationships both in and outside home. I held on for so long that she started calling me her best friend. And as someone who didnt have any friends, I suppose she was my closest ‘friend’ too.

But then one day I snapped.

It was 8pm. I was exhausted as fuck on that particular day. She sent me a Skype message saying “Do you want to play Aion?” (Aion is a free MMORPG which we used to play together). Thing is, I dont decline things (blah blah im socially anxious and i feel bad when i decline blah blah) but on this particular day I knew that I had to decline, if only for my own sake. So I sent back “Sorry, too tired. Play tomorrow?”

She messaged me back 2 hours later saying “I’m going to kill myself and it’s your fault. You should’ve played the game with me; I was feeling so sad and you just declined!” (this is paraphrased so yes, i couldve exaggerated the real message but this was what i interpreted from that message. maybe im being overdramatic. but the general gist of it was still that she was going to kill herself because i didnt want to play a game with her)

Now here I am, mentally and physically drained from this toxic relationship with a person who refuses to understand that I am not her fucking emotional punching bag. And I guess my brain acknowledged that because all of a sudden, all the empathy just went woooshh flying out of me.

Fuck empathy. Fuck Tiffany. I want to fucking go to sleep. Fuck off.

But well, I cannot in good conscience ignore a suicide message. So I messaged back and tried to be the classical good friend who listens to your bullshit. Hahahahaha...ha

10 minutes later, she sent me a video call, except her webcam wasnt working which was a bit awkward. So she explained what I would be seeing if the webcam was working. She told me that she was holding a knife to her throat, and she wanted me to see her kill herself since it was all my fault.

Now here’s the fucking thing. ITS NOT OKAY TO BLAME YOUR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ON A FUCKING 14 YR OLD GIRL, MUCH LESS YOUR SUPPOSED ‘BEST FRIEND’ OR REALLY, ANY HUMAN FOR THAT MATTER. THATS NOT OKAY. ITS BEEN 4 YEARS AND I STILL FEEL LIKE SHIT AND ITS ONE OF THE MEMORIES MY BRAIN DRAGS UP WHEN IM ASLEEP AND WHEN IM HAVING A BREAKDOWN ITS NOT OKAY.

Its not okay to tell someone that they basically almost committed a murder.

and thats why i hate humanity.

#humanity #fuck #fuck humanity #suicide #its not okay #toxic relationships #toxic friendships #unhealthy friendships #reasons why i hate humanity #please dont blame your suicidal thoughts on others

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thesoundofmadness · 7 years

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Memory Loss (Lloyd Reader oneshot)

"LLOYD! WATCH OUT!" Y/n calls out as she jumps infront of him to take the time punch for him. She feels something like a intense shock and flys backward onto the hard concrete of the road. Her head hits the ground first, then her arm. "Y/N!" Everyone calls out. Lloyd runs over and picks her up. Tears fill his eyes. Her vison blurred. Everyone else just stood there, stunned and not knowing what to do. She starts to whisper into his ear. "Lloyd....please defeat the Time Twins. For Ninjago, for Master Wu, for your Dad, for me....please" She then looks the blonde boy in his eyes. He places his hand on her cheek and kisses her. It was a way for him to tell her he loved her before she fell unconscious. She realeses the kiss and hugs him again. "I love you....." She says quietly before she falls limp in his arms. Tears continued to fall as her hugged her tightly. "Y/n...no.....you're the most important person to me. More important than anyone else. Please....no! He sat there and cried into her shoulder fora few minutes. Everyone ran over. "Oh no...." "Y/n!" "First Zane, then Dad, then Master Wu and now Y/n. Why? Why? What did I do to deserve this?! Why?! It should have been me! Not Y/n! Why?!" He then wiped his tears away. "No. We have to stop the time twins. I have to stop them. " He handed the (h/c) (hair colored) girl over to Kai, drew his sword and pointed it at the time twins. All he could think about was Y/n. All he could feel was anger He ran towards the time twins. Aderinline was pulsing through his body. As he fought, flashbacks played infront of him like a movie. For about 3 minutes (pretty much as long as the song is) he fought the time twins. He then finally knocked them down to the ground, took the timeblades, used the reversal one on Y/n to get her to stop rapidly aging, then opening back the time portal and everyone went through it.

*timeskip*

Lloyd woke up in his room. He got up from the light green bed and stretched. It has been 5 months since Y/n got knocked unconscious and put in a coma. Those past few months hadn't been the best for anyone, more specficly Lloyd. He just felt like something was missing. He knew what was missing was Y/n. Ever since the accident with the time twins, his world just hasnt been as bright and colorful as it was when Y/n was there. It just didn't feel right at all. He then walked out of the room to the kitchen, made some cearal and ate it. There was this lingering feeling that this whole thing, was his fault. He felt this before. He first felt it when his dad died and then when he got possessed by Morro. This time it was different. This time it was stronger than before. When he feels like this, he distracts himself from the feeling untill it goes away but he just couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Y/n. It sucked thinking about it all the time and feeing like that but he just could not shake it. He got up from his spot, washed out the bowl and put it by the sink. He then walked over to Y/ns room. He's been avoiding going in there since the accident. He took a deep breath, opened the door and walked in. He moved her legs and sat on the bed next to them. Y/n was asleep peacefully. It was adorable. It was like looking at a flower ready to bloom, even though this flower wasnt ready to bloom yet. He missed her smile, the way her hair smelled after a shower, how they would always stay up 'till like 3 am watching MLP on netflix (If you dont like MLPm screw you. MLP is awesome), them training together, everything. He hated not being able to do anything. He felt like he should have done something. He didn't know what but just something to let her know he was there. It wasn't right without her there. There was no one to tell him the most insteresting things at dinner, no one to joke around with, no one. When he does it with someone else it just doesnt feel right. He sighed. "It sure is weird without you here Y/n." He says. " I know you cant hear me and I dont except you to hear me, but I just need to get this out." He went on to explain some stuff about how much he misses her, how when she wakes up, he would tell her his feelings for her and that kind of things. Y/n stirred. Lloyd raised an eyebrow. Must be because she's been stiff for the past 5 months. He thought. She stirred again and slowly opened her eyes. "Y/N?!" Lloyd tried not to yell but accidently yelled. She grabbed her head. "Agh. Please d-dont be so loud. My head hurts really bad." "Uh.. s-s-sorry! I was j-just surpised thats all." He says with a chuckle. "Its okay. Um..forgive me for asking but who are you and who is Y/n?" He was shocked at first but them remember she got a pretty bad concussion so got over it quickly. Shit what do I say?! "You look and sound familer but I just cant put my finger on it." He started playing with his fingers. "Uh...you are Y/n and i'm Lloyd. We were uh...." I could tell her that she was my GF and save having to explain my feelings to her. Nah that wouldn't be right. "We were what?" She asks. Her beautiful (e/c) (eye color) eyes were looking at him with confusion. "We were uh friends. Yeah! Friends before you lost your memory." "Ohhh. That explains some stuff. Alright Lloyd. You seem trustworthy and I feel like I should trust you so I'll believe you. Now where are we?" "Uh we are in your room in the Airjeztu Temple. Come on,lets go to the living room so I can explain some stuff that you need to know. Let me help you up." He says with a smile. She smiles back. She swung her legs over the bed and tried to stand. She just fell back onto the (f/c) (favorite color) bed. Lloyd put his arm on her lower back and pushed her up. She leaned onto Lloyd for support. "Try to take it easy okay? I dont want you getting hurt again." "How long was I out?" "5 months" Her eyes widened when she heard that. "5 months?! Must of been a pretty bad accident" "Y-yeah it was. Just be glad you didnt die. If you did I wouldn't know what to do." "What do you mean by that?" He blushed. "N-nothing! L-let's go to the living room. She gave him a 'are you sure about that?' look but then brushed it off. They just met, or re-met, she didn't want to get to deep into his bissnus.

"So you're telling me, we are ninja. We have these 'elemental powers' that allow us to do certain things. You're the Master of Energy and I'm the Master of (element)?" "Yep. We go around protecting Ninjago from bad guys. We're actually pretty good at it." "And we defeated alot of people using them?" "Yea." "Apart of me is telling me not to believe you, while another is telling me you're saying the truth. Are you really telling the truth?" Lloyd made a little energy in his hand. "Woah. You arnt lying." "I'm not one to lie. How is your head?" "It still hurts but not as much as it did at first" Y/n took a sip of her tea. "Are there any other elemental masters on our team? Or in general?" "Yeah! Theres Kai Master of Fire, Jay Master of Lighting, Cole Master of Earth, Zane Master of Ice and Nya Master of Water. There's also our sensei, Master Wu and my mom Misako but they arnt elemental masters." "Oh. Okay. Where are they?" "Well, you see. We help run a tea shop in Ninjago City. They are there now. I stayed back because there needed to be someone here to make sure something doesnt happen to you." "Do they know i'm awake?" "No, not yet. I still need to tell them." "Why dont you do it right now? I dont mind." "Well, i kinda wanna make it a surpise. I have not idea why I just do." "Okay! I'm okay with that!" She smiled at him and he smiled back. You have no idea how much I missed your smile (n/n) (nickname). Lloyd sighed. "Is something wrong Lloyd?" He shook his head. "It's nothing." "Are you missing the way I was before the accident you wont tell me about?" He looked at her with a shocked expersion. "H-how did you know that?!" "You just seemed like you were missing something. I know that look on your face, I just dont know how I know." He looked at her with a smile. "You'll figure it out. And yes, I'm missing you before the accident but I'll through it. Dont worry. I'll do everything I can to help you get your memory back alright?" She nodded. He pat her head as he heard voices outside. She blushed alittle. "Lloyd! We're home!" Cole called out. Y/n raised her eyebrow (if you cant just pretend you can) "Guys guess what!" "Did Y/n- HOLY CHRIST SHE DID WAKE UP" "Hi!" She waved to everyone. They all had there mouths open. "Why didnt you tell us?!" "I wanted it to be a surpise." "Okay okay, before anything. Y/n do you know who we are?" Kai asked. "Uh...you look familer but I dont think I know you. You guys are the rest of the Ninja right? Lloyd told me about you guys but I wanna make sure" They all nodded simultaneously. After re-introducing themselves, Zane did a check to make sure nothing was wrong/ broken. At dinner, the ninja caught you up to everything that happened. The snakes, the nindroids, the ghosts all that stuuf. (Except Nadakan. Only Jay can remember. He doesnt like talking about it.) They also explained how you lost your memory. "Wait what? We went back in time, I got hit with one of the 'timeblades' and got knocked out?" "Yeah pretty much." "While you flew back, you hit your arm and your head pretty badly. Your arm is fine now but your head, not so much. You got a concussion. That's why you lost your memory Y/n." "Ohhhhh okay. I understand now. Anything else I should know?" "Lloyd has a crush on you." "I DO NOT." Lloyd yelled after Kai said that. "Why'd ya kiss her right before she passed out then?" She blushed. Hard. So did Lloyd. Both of your faces where redder than Kai's gi. "Hahahhahaha. I'm just kidding. Lloyd never did that." For some reason, she felt like they were lying but just shrugged. "Uhhh......" "WELL IMMA GO TO BED NOW GOODNIGHT" Lloyd quickly got up, cleaned off his plate and left, still with the blush on his face. "Did he really kiss me?" "Yep. Dont tell him I told you that though." "Okay. I wont. Well, im gonna head off to bed too. Night Kai" "Night Y/n"

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Im gonna be posting alot of these. Hope you enjoy them!!!

#ninjago #Lloyd x reader #oneshot #i tried

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time-2-vent · 4 years

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So. This is a master post about my grandma. Some of this has already been talked about here but I posted this on my private fb and wanted to keep it here too.

Okay.. so. This is gonna be a long and detailed one.

Ive never had a space where I could vent about my grandma to more than just people close to me without being blamed or her finding out. The only family I have on here is my mom and im hiding this post from her for various reasons. I understand if many of you can't read all the way through this because its gonna be a lot. I just want the people around me to have a better grasp on exactly why im so depressed.

Before I start im gonna add a trigger list because there is a LOT and im probably going to be very emotional typing this. A lot of it ive never spoken about publicly.

So for a list of TW:

Emotional, physical, sexual, and animal abuse, r*pe, p*dophelia, racism, su*cide, hospitals, ableism, be******ty mention, fatshaming, weight mention, f slur.

Okay. Im going to start at when I moved in with her. She tricked my mother into signing over custody of me when I was 10. When I was 9 years old I was forced into a mental hospital after being heavily overdosed on medications meant for adults to the point I was "sitting upside down in my chairs unresponsive and talking about tranquilizers" which i have no memory of. The hospital was probably the worst experience in my entire life and I was almost murdered by one of the older kids. After getting out of there I moved in with my grandma.

Throughout my life shes said and done so many horrible things to me. She would always yell and scream about the smallest mistakes. She used to pick me up by my hair. She was just fucking horrible to me.

Around the age of 10-11 when I started going through puberty she would always make fun of the way my genitals looked. She would ask me to stretch my labia out and move it around. Specifically she would ask me to "show me your bat wings". It was fucking disgusting but as a child I thought it was just haha funny joke.

For a while I thought I just imagined that until my mom brought it up to me and how she CAUGHT HER saying that to me multiple times. So I had confirmation that I wasn't just imagining it. I once confronted her about it and she immediately started crying (ive only seen her cry 3 times in my entire life) and told me if I ever said that again she would tell everyone in my family that I was a "prostitute" and would make everyone in my family hate me, and that it was my mother who did that to me.

My mom lived with me and my grandma for a few years but eventually moved out on her own because she couldn't handle my grandmas abuse.

My grandma dated my moms r*pist, which was my moms uncle, and told my mom she never got r*ped, and said my mom only fucked him for "attention and cigarettes". My mom was 12 at the time.

My grandma told me at 15 that the "only reason you think you're trans is because you got diddled as a kid"

My grandma called me a whore when I started becoming sexually active despite her having her first child at 16.

She once told me I was "just like my father" who is a sex offender and abused me as a child. I was also forced to give my at-the-time step brothers head when I was 3-5 and was taught that it was okay.

My grandma has called me every possible name in the book. Anytime she does something wrong its automatically my fault. She told me she would believe that im trans when I showed her my dick (at 16).

Shes incredibly rude and racist, says she hates how she can't understand Asian people. She's said the n word. She's made so many "jokes" about how "aggressive" Black people are. When my cousin found out he had Black in him she said, and I quote, "I always knew he had a n***r ass" which fucking disgusted me. Shes scoffed at my mother for limping. She scoffs at anyone disabled. Always says "you wouldn't catch me looking like that in public." She would tell my mom she was faking her pain. And coincidentally of all 4 of her kids, one was born with physical deformities. she says thats not the reason why, but she gave her up for adoption. She yells at anyone standing in her way who isn't aware. She is incredibly rude when she speaks to people to the point its embarrassing.

When I hung myself earlier this year and a friend came to pick me up she was yelling at me like "Oh so you went and tattled on me didnt you? Did you say oh boo hoo shes so abusiveeee!!" As I had literally just laid passed out in the snow from hanging myself.

When she found out I hung myself she bitched about how I had her snow boots and how she would have had to climb up the hill to find my fucking body as if it were a chore. She asked me if I wanted to be cremated out of nowhere and when I said no she replied "good I didn't want to have to pick your piercings out of your dead body" when I told her she made me want to kill myself she laughed at me and said "well then you'll never survive" my first suicide attempt was at 12 years old. A few weeks ago I started carving at my throat in front of her because im so desperate for her to LISTEN to me for 5 FUCKING SECONDS. I have legitimately cried on my knees and begged her to treat me like a person time and time again. She laughs at me and turns it around to my issues. She guilt trips me and makes me think everything is my fault. She calls me disgusting for having 1 or 2 shirts on the floor. She told me to MY FACE she will never see me as trans. Misgenders me, misgenders my friends. I jokingly told her one of my cis friends was trans, and when she left she asked me "does he really have a penis?" ABOUT A WHOLE ASS CIS WOMAN. She told me she ran over and killed a dog with a broken leg to "put it out of its misery" she would always use glue traps and I told her not to tell me about it so she waits until were in public and says "yknow whenever I catch a live mouse on one of the traps I throw it into a plastic bag and then go do the litter box to suffocate it". Shes threatened to make me pay the hospital bill when I called 911 because she was unconscious. She says horrible things to me EVERY FUCKIJG DAY. She's always making everying my fault all the time and sits and smiles while I'm sobbing and pouring my heart out because im tired of the abuse. Im so fucking tired. It goes on and on and on every day of my life. I literally slit my throat in front of her and she only stopped being mean for about a week. Im so depressed and mentally ill and this is beating on me every moment of my fucking life.

In not done but im shaking and need to stop typing for now

Edit: some other notable things, when my grandpa disowned me and stopped speaking to me for over a year she told me it was probably because of how disgusting I was. And "nobody wants to be around that".

She will ask me specific random questions about specific friends and if I dont know the answer or I forgot, she goes on a tangent about how terrible of a friend I am.

When I was cutting her hair she kept telling me I was doing it wrong, so I did it her way and she hated it and told me she's glad I didn't pursue hair because im terrible at it.

When my cat was dying she originally refused to take him to the vet because he was "just gonna die anyways so I might as well let him", then gave up her cat to the vet because she was peeing but didn't wanna take responsibility for that so she lied to them and said she showed up at her door and didn't tell them her age or even her name and that was so fucking cruel.

When she starts laughing at me sometimes she'll talk to me in a whiny "baby voice" and be like awwww, waaa im so abusedddd *mocks me crying*.

And she always talks in a tone that sounds pissed off and seems confused when I feel like I'm being scolded.

She gets in my face and puts her finger in my face and backs me into corners sometimes and then when I smack her hand out of my face she says she'll put me in jail for abuse.

Oh yea and simetimes when she gets mad at me she'll be like "ok GIRL" in the middle of me talking. Like its annoying and uncalled for.

I cant believe I forgot this holy shit. Years ago (was a minor here as well) I was attacked by my neighbors dog and it knocked me down and when I got home my grandma was accusing me of be******ty and said she was "watching it fuck me" and I was so fucking disgusted and hurt.. I try to block that from my memory because it was my third dog attack and I was traumatized.

She also regularly calls her brother a F@ggot. He is the only lgbt family member (he's gay) that i have.

She regularly fatshames people while only a few feet from them. And will whisper to me about how disgusting they look.

She asks for all of my friends deadnames and gets mad when I dont answer.

"I can't be abusive because I give you a home. I could have let social services take you."

"I cant be racist because my ex husband is Black"

"You must be living in a fantasy world where you make up shit that ive done."

"Id be depressed if I stayed in bed all day too."

"I need to learn to have lower expectations for you."

"I'm starting to resent you. So ill be taking 200$ a month for rent." (She has stopped this thankfully)(edit #2, she started taking it again im gonna be here forever lmao)

When I was underweight she would say things like "you look like an aids patient." And "Are you trying to look like your mother?"

"You're a hoarder"

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dragon-zena · 6 years

Text

even More OC group chat shenanigans

HUGHES: Madena oh my god

ZI: jdndjdjdjjd madena you did NOT

MADENA: I TOTALLY DID IM SVDBDBHD

HUGHES: I hate this Madena wh

HUGHES: “considering that I am a gay,,,” LIKE

ZI: “half of us,,,are immigrants,,,and children and grandchildren of immigrants,,,,end it” like has your best friend ever

HUGHES: YEAH MY BEST FRIEND HAS EVER THEY DID IT TODAY YOU WERE THERE

MADENA: im sorry but like what did she expect complaining about gay people and immigrants to a nb bisexual with two parents from two different continents...like? Ok

ZI: let's debate sexuality when it's obvious that half the class are LGBT and the other half are bigots!!!

ZI: let's talk about “illegal” immigration when almost EVERYONE IN THE ROOM has a close family member that immigrated here!

HUGHES: RIGHT AND TBIS IS AP POLISCI NOT AP “DISCUSS HUMAN RIGHTS” LET'S N O T

MADENA: this is both the greatest and worst day of my life why did I SAY that dbdbdn

ZI: what u said was true and you should say it

MADENA: mnmerrg

ZI: mads ur literally iconic there are literally people talking about u being their hero I'm???

HUGHES: I can't believe the evil was thoroughly defeated in our third hour class today.

MADENA: theevilisdefeated.png

CAMILLA: Narla!

NARLA: Yeah?

CAMILLA: Friendly reminder that we have a game today uwu……….do u have what u need? You dint have ur knee pads last time

NARLA: Fuck, I honestly forgot my stuff. I'm probably gonna drive home and get them.

NARLA: And never say “friendly reminder” or use uwu ever again in my presence.

CAMILLA: You should let Zi bring you uwu

NARLA: Perish, you bitch. You bully. You scoundrel.

CAMILLA: ;^)

NARLA: Hey, Zi. Are you busy after school? I was hoping that I could get a ride home, today. I have to get my vball gear for tonight.

ZI: oh! Yeah! I'll be waiting in the car after school. Can i

ZI: uh

NARLA: ?

ZI: can I come watch you, tonight?

NARLA: I'm blushing so hard she asked to come watch us tonight.

CAMILLA: HELL YEA we need the support

CAMILLA: Not that we gonna lose but your biggest fan being there is gonna make u go into overdrive.........ur gonna beast out........

CAMILLA: ion know if the other team is gonna stand a chance

NARLA: PERISH, ASSHOLE.

NARLA: Of course you can come! :)!

ZI: !!!

CAMILLA: WELCOM TO MY F U CK HO US E

MADENA: we have banini...and avocaidi…

HUGHES: Perish

ZI: perish

NARLA: Perish.

MADENA: Oh worm? Permission granted?

ZI: MADS NO

HUGHES: N O

ZI: mmmmmMMMAAAAAAAAAAA

STEPHANI: God, same.

HUGHES: What's going on in Louisiana? ):

NARLA: They keep raising the prom fee as though we're made of money. Lmao.

JUSTINE: I mean, Narla will be fine, she’s actually made of money,,, but like, not many other people will be.

ZI: LMAO.

MADENA: Zi ):

ZI: im sorry im sorry I just

NARLA: I'll pay for you to go. I'll pay for any of you, if you need it. It's not like we're using it for much, at home.

CAMILLA: ,,, Narla,,, ur mom

NARLA: Irrelevant.

MADENA: godiwishthatwereme.png

CAMILLA: aight……………………..

ZI: id die for Narla but whatever

HUGHES: You're at her game, aren't u

ZI: …no

HUGHES: …

ZI: …yes

ZI: Hughes her thighs...her calves….me gay

MADENA: I heard gay what's goin on

MADENA: oh its just z nvm

ZI: thighs.mp4

ZI: look at her go!

CAMILLA: ive come from the court to tell u that you are Definitely in the wrong chat

MADENA: ho-o-oly shit

CAMILLA: i got her phone lmao y'all secrets safe w me

CAMILLA: just deleted those messages have fun in pineville bye

HUGHES: Isn't that actually a place in Louisiana

HUGHES: Cami?

ZI: she's back on the court but yeah it is

ZI: holy shit I owe Camilla my entire life im going to the T3 Group Chat

HUGHES: real paranoia hours

HUGHES: if u up alone at 3:10 in the morning

HUGHES: hearing things, seeing things, and overthinking ur relationships

HUGHES: slam that mf like

HUGHES: this is so stupid like wow I love. feeling this way. Fave. 10 out of fuckign 10 i lobe iy

HUGHES: I need tk pee but im svared tk adn no ones up i catn

CAMILLA: oh shit

CAMILLA: ok okay im up right now, I'm here right now, I need you to take deep breaths for me

HUGHES: catn’

CAMILLA: can I call u

HUGHES: yehh

ZI: oh no

NARLA: Hughes, are you okay, now? I'm sorry that I wasn't awake when you needed someone. ):

CAMILLA: they asleep rn but I think they r ok for rn

CAMILLA: has this happened before zi

ZI: not to this extent

ZI: sometimes he does focus extensively on everything around him and it makes him anxious

NARLA: Maybe this should wait until Hughes says that we have his permission to talk about this.

CAMILLA: yeah

HUGHES: last night was a shit show

HUGHES: my bad

MADENA: Are u ok now?

ZI: ^

NARLA: ^

CAMILLA: ^

JUSTINE: ^

STEPHANI: ^

HUGHES: Yeah thanks

HUGHES: Camilla made me take sleep medicine and i pretty much passed out soon after lmao

CAMILLA: Sleep > Being Awake lmao

MADENA: mood

ZI: ......everybody wants to be a cat.....

HUGHES: oh my god not again

ZI: aS quare witha horn makes u wish u werent born evertime he plays

MADENA: Oh A Rinky Tinky Tinky!

ZI: with a square in the act! u can set musci back! to the caveman days!

NARLA: Oh, a rinky tinky tinyk!

HUGHES: This is torture you’re all doing ths knowing it was my fave song to play in jazz band end me

MADENA: 👀 👀 👀

Narla: RIP...It was my fault, I wanted to watch The Aristocats.........

HUGHES: Perish, Narla Miaro.

NARLA: Fuck you, Hughes.

STEPHANI: atthepool.png

STEPHANI: shes so fuckgin beautiful shes wearng this bikini and shes like fuckign aphrodite or sme shit

JUSTINE: END THIS

JUSTINE: prety.png

JUSTINE: LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND SHE DESERVES THE WORLD SHES GIGGLIN

NARLA: God, can you imagine if I had let the two of you pine any longer than you did?

ZI: this is so gay and cute

MADENA: Justine where do u find ur swimsuits and Steph u look gorgeous end me please

JUSTINE: blush.png

JUSTINE: shes blushing ths is so cute

JUSTINE: Also i just got them at waly worl

MADENA: bless ur photogenic souls for telling me

CAMILLA: U do it for he

NARLA: And you would do it, again.

CAMILLA: You do it for she and now u say

NARLA: You do it for he.

HUGHES: One day is all I ask

HUGHES: Sometimes I forget that the moment Euthymia left the house for college, she changed from a subtle gay to a vindictive gay.

MADENA: God my sister is so fucking iconic mom was like “i dont support that in my house” AS THOUGH I DONT EXIST IN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE HOME BUT ANYWAY Euthymia shruges and is like “im not in your house so lmao watch this” AND KISSES AGATHA RIGHT IN F R O N T OF HER hhfkrk

ZI: im lauhing

HUGHES: Shes not at her mom’s house rn she came to bring something to me for Mads and she’s sporting an undercut and a lot of lgbt pride pins AND a lot of really clever enamel pins too i envy her

HUGHES: She??? Also has??? A scar on her eyebrow???

HUGHES: I ASKED WHY AND SHE SAID “YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY”

MADENA: TELL HR TO STAY PUT IM C O M I N G I GOTTA SEE THIS

ZI: send a pic when u get there i wanna see

EUTHYMIA: inspiring my lgacy to be vindictive gays lmao

AGATHA: im lauhfing Zi just texted me and told me that Hughes called you a vindictive gay

EUTHYMIA: im so happy that im able to be ths way

EUTHYMIA: but i want them to wait until they’re super safe until they even think about following the near vicinity of my footsteps

AGATHA: you aren’t even super safe but i get wht ur sayin

AGATHA: I love you, Euthymia Nadine.

EUTHYMIA: I love you, too, Alaris

AGATHA: oooh my last name hot

EUTHYMIA: end it

HUGHES: That freshman is going to get in a fight this afternoon

MADENA: ?

HUGHES: sorry the thought just came to me

MADENA: Hughes,,,

HUGHES: I was right,,,,,,what the fc

ZI: oh thats like when Madena said something about ancient greec andt he teacher was like “nuh uh” but when he searched it up it was true

ZI: but Madena didnt know how they got it right it just randomyl popped up in their mind

CAMILLA: Physics can suck my asshole

HUGHES: Oh?

MADENA: *Hughes voice* oh, you haven’t heard?

CAMILLA: i die

HUGHES: I tutor in physics

MADENA: hes not gonna ask you to pay which is why u should

CAMILLA: I DONT CARE AS LONG AS I PASSED THESE FINALS WHATS YOUR FUCING PAYPAL

HUGHES: meet me in the PMs

MADENA: this is so fucking funny hey @Narla d o u need help with physics

NARLA: No.

MADENA: god i wish that were me

ZI: god i wish that were me

ZI: :0!

MADENA: O: twinsies

#oc #narla #madena #hughes #camilla #justine #stephani #sea serpent #oracle duo #robocop #my writing

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years

Text

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

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fairyiatlotl · 7 years

Text

The Vampire That Longs For Mirror

There are three things you should know about me.

Im a vampire (hot scary fanged immortals that live on blood as in blood).

My name is Zhae (Its pronounced as Zshay, so please dont try pronouncing any other way).

And I have a huge butt (well the story is all about this).

Have you ever looked at the sky at night? Bet you would have been awed by the sight of it – bet you would have tried tracing out the zodiac signs – bet you would have tried spotting your zodiac and had felt happy about it – bet you would have had told the special characterstics of it and how it miraculously fit your description –bet you would have done all that and happily felt categorised into something that you feel proud to be born in.

Have you ever looked into the mirror? – Naked? Bet you would have hesitated a moment – bet you would have hated that one extra flab coming out – bet you would have hated how your bones are all that was visible – bet you would have hated the way your boobs dont grow the size they should – bet you would have hated the large butt that swings every damn time you walk – bet you would have hated those eyebrows out of proportion – bet you would have hated the way your underarm hair left a dark patch – bet you would have compared yourself to a thousand other people – bet you would have felt ashamed of yourself and what you have made yourself into – bet you would have asked yourself when is your body going to be happy – bet you would have done all that and still ignored the clitoris that you are supposed to be proud to be born with.

Thats how stupid we are; letting our zodiac signs make us feel happy about us while letting the mirror NOT feel happy about us. And I know this because once upon a time I used to think in this exact same way until one day I woke up seventeen and a vampire. And boy was I happy! Nope this aint Twilight, who am I kidding? – I mean I was kind of hysterically happy but for just a second. The belief that vampires are godly beautiful made me expect miraculous changes until I realised Ive not turned into a Beyonce-bod vampire but am forever trapped into a Beyonce-bod that weighs 80 kgs. So Congratulations to me! Am no more a mortal endomorph! Hurray! The vampire beauty curse epically punctured my gorgeous body dream! – I became a fat-ass immortal. Period.

Coming from a society where fit figure is an aspect of befitting element, do you realise how much stress would you go through once you realised that you are gonna be trapped for the rest of your immortal life in the body that you fed for seventeen heavenly years of your life – its like having permanent thyroid problem – its like being trapped in those epic novels that you love. Yea so I got trapped in my True Blood. I got trapped in my jeans. I got trapped in my body. And it sucked.

The next few days after my transition the thought of being forever fat did not even cross my mind. The funny thing was, I was reminded by the ignorants of this society that I could never ever wear a twenty six waist jeans. It was Aunt Shinzah; shes a dreamy doll aunt – everyone loves her; shes too pretty and too sweet, unfortunately she is too determined to make each and everyone happy. We were in the living room and she and her husband; Uncle Drad came for tea. I sat with the family to entertain them and while we were in a full swing of laughter and fun she said; Oh Baby! You look like you lost some pretty weight. Oh darling! You wait – youll lose weight as soon as you enter college; youll be as pretty as a sunshine; she passed me a smile. I felt so happy that she thought I lost some weight (should have known it was because I had starved for a week). My glass of delusion was cracked by Rob (the guy who apparently turned me into a vampire because he was too high to remember) who I met the very next day. He got scared at how pathetic I looked; I happily smiled and said that I was losing. He smirked at my foolish conclusions; No – youre hungry. Youre not losing weight. Gawd youre a vampire – you are never losing weight. Your body is frozen; I remember that day well and clear, I remember how the taste of my throat changed from sweet to vomit-like. I remember the guilt face of Rob as how he noticed my hurt. That day I killed my first human: He was a forty five year old drunkard that had abandoned his wife and children while he ogled every piece of an ass that walked by the 56th Bay street (and yes I am trying to justify my kill with this one sentence). He was eating Lays with booze; my hunger hormones couldnt resist. That day I felt pathetic at my existence. I actually wished for death – just walking and sitting made me feel ashamed of myself. But I couldnt ignore the fact that my body felt strong and healthy and ALIVE! That day I got the taste of human blood. It was irresistibly Lays-like!

The feeling of being the object of fun is one dark feeling induced by shallow mindedness. That day nothing was wrong; all was normal, I was infact happy and feeling healthy until my math period. The teacher had some grudge against me; reason to which was anonymous to me. He asked for our assignments, he started scolding each and every student in line; my heart was already in my throat I knew that he was going to scold me for no reason. He was a bully, what do you expect of him! He atlast came across me. He looked at me from under his bushy eyebrows, he radiated disgusted criticism and mean looks and then he came on at me (and am the vampire here!) he started yelling at me – he told me how pathetic my work is, that he would better thrash me on the floor ten times than better ever check my assignment ever again (by the way that assignment was an obsolete method of wasting mind, time and energy). This was not it. The next day when I entered class, he was filling some health forms. He came across my name and started laughing; Zhea huh! Even shes gonna write her weight here atlast; he laughed in his evilish snort and some of the front benchers joined him. What are you Zhea? An eighty or a hundred? soon the whole class joined in his act of evilness.

The next day he died in a sudden accident he met on the mid-way road that leaves the city (I wish this guy drowns in the pits of hell – I wish the Satan takes his personal interest in him and gut him with his pitch fork until he drowns in the lavas of the hell!). Dont judge me, he was the one at fault. I thought his death would stop my body shaming and public bullying. I was wrong. Everyone had started looking at me/my ass as an object of laughter by that time. Why wouldnt they? Well when the elders of the society take pleasure in this why shouldnt they? After all its the elders and teachers we look up to. It all came to an end. Even my distant hearing capability became a nuisance to me. I could hear boys talk about butts, I could hear girls talk about the methods to avoid a butt like mine. I could hear girls search over net the category to which my butt belonged to. I apparently fit into the peach figure among several other types: hour glass, straight line, inverse peach blah blah blah! It was there all over internet; the figure categorization of a womens body that is indirectly set for pleasing the patriarchs of our society. So much for gender equality!

The most pathetic part was, I was letting myself being treated that way; I being the vampire did not retaliate or infact confront anyone coming over to me and making fun of my so called healthiness (bullies gave me nicknames like fatty or dinosaur while friends gave me the consolatory adjectives like healthy; ironic right?). But believe me this was nothing to the final act that actually made me hate myself – the funny thing was it was an inanimate object that told me that I absolutely wasnt meant to fit in this society. It was just one chair – a students chair which had a side swing table hinged to it; I sat on it – I didnt fit. So I tried and when I fit I realised I was stuck; by the end of the class I struggled but then when the bell rung I awkwardly tried getting off the chair and then I heard; Look look Hahaha Hehehe God Am so happy to be me today; all the snickering, sniggering, simpering and whispering of all forty five fellow mates got me. It got me and thats when it happened – I lost it.

Seventeen years of my life I had been hearing people wait for me to get slim and pretty, seventeen years of my life Ive heard my father call me with funny names, seventeen years of my life Ive heard my sister flaunt me her figure and give me goals to reach, seventeen years of my life Ive been hit with comments and been joked about, seventeen years Ive been asked to dress myself in a way that nobody could see the fat-flesh of mine, seventeen years Ive cried about the fact I bloat even when my diet is exactly the same amount like any other persons, seventeen years Ive actually never looked into the mirror with pride and glory or in a way that I feel happy about myself or my body, seventeen years Ive felt ashamed of my ass and me, seventeen years were given to me to change myself. SEVENTEEN FUCKING YEARS IVE BEEN GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BE SOMEONE THAT THIS SOCIETY WANTED ME TO BE! Still it took the curse of eternity to make me realise to love me. How foolish we humans are, right?

The following days were followed by insidious depression. Vampire depressions are worse than human depressions they are like black holes that temporarily feel likely to be filled by the lust of human blood, but as soon as you hunt one down another appears for more – its actually a black hole in me that build: consuming every inch of me per person I killed. The depression was a slow perpetual intricate build up. It first started with the reckless killing of animals, then isolated hobos and then it lashed out as the most horrifying thing you could ever imagine. I started cutting myself. How? Well it started when I slit off my extra flesh in the shower. It hurt me like hell but it was the best way to release my anger and anxiety – the best way to punish myself for having flabs. Once I had cut myself, I would heal but I always ended up being hungrier and so I had to go hunting again. Soon it became my daily cycle. Nobody knew it, nobody noticed it. And why would they? Everyone was too busy feigning happiness and I was too busy killing mine.

Breaking away from my beloved cycle wasnt a choice. Rob found me one day all bloody and weak. This time it went far; I could have actually have actually died (could you believe that!) but luckily Rob smelled leakage of blood and he came running to my bedroom. He was horrified by the sight. He found me in my tub; I wasnt dead, just numb; all my blood was in the tub. Soon I lost conscience; when I opened my eyes again I found myself on the bed. I wasnt feeling hungry like the other times I felt. I was feeling physically normal. The sun was shining and it all came back – the frustration, depression, anger, hurt, hate. I again felt pathetic about myself. While my mind wandered in the dark miasma that I had created inside my head, my eyes wandered around the room; I saw a flower pot by the open window. That was different since I didnt keep a flowerpot by my window. It must have been mom, I thought.

Hey dumbhead; a voice came from the door; Mazie was standing there. Mazie is my Nana – we dont call her Nana for some specific reason that even we are oblivious to. Mazie? What are you doing here? I looked at her; I felt the warmth that she radiated.

Dont ask me silly questions! You were out for a whole godamn week and you ask me why am here? You gotta be kiddin me! Now get up and get ready we are going for shopping Mazie is one stubborn Nana – she has got my genes of holding onto things and being stubborn about them. What shopping? I asked with absolute confusion.

Well bikini shopping – we are going to the beach tomorrow; she gave me her Cheshire cat smile as she crossed the room and checked the flowers. It was she who got them.

Bikini shopping? I must confess she is the only living person that is scarier than a vampire after a hunger strike; I dont do bikini shopping; I answered with a wavering voice. Mazie looked at me with sceptic eyes and sighed heavily; Well! Its about time that you start doing it; she raised her eyebrow. I felt my cheeks flush. Bikini shopping? How could I do that? I hated my body. I hated myself. I felt pathetic and embarrassed about it. My eyes widened and I could feel tears brimming my eyes; I cant do that; I heard my voice mumble.

Yes you can! You in fact will; Mazie raised her head and I could see her poker face; Zhae – its just a bikini; she took the flower pot and moved towards me; Dont let a piece of cloth weigh you down; she kept the flowerpot next to me and patted my cheeks. They knew.

That day we went for bikini shopping and spa. I had no idea what was happening or what was going to happen tomorrow. The bikini was good but I again felt embarrassed about my weight. The spa on the other hand made me feel heaven like; I could feel my body relax. The next day I wore a long baggy shirt over my bikini. Mazie didnt say anything just gave me a look. I looked around and saw people playing and having fun in their shorts and bikinis; they looked gorgeous. But then I noticed something; I noticed a man with a big belly playing with his seven year old daughter, I noticed an old women rub sunscreen on herself, I noticed a women of twenties with a bulging belly run down the beach with her sister who apparently had the biggest breasts Ive ever seen, I noticed a boy with absolutely no flesh on him sit on the life guard post, I noticed chubby boys eat popsicles, I noticed a child rolling down the sand mount, I saw people getting wet as the waves hit the shore, I saw life happening around me and I felt so aloof and sad. I again felt angry but this time I wasnt angry at the society for not treating me well – I felt angry at myself for waiting for the society to treat me well. I immediately got up and walked away to the shops nearby. I entered a shady lane and cried my eyes out. I felt so agitated and irritated and so annoyed that I wanted to just end everything. I hated being a vampire, I hated being cursed with this body; I wanted to stop my misery. I wanted to know how was everyone on the beach confident enough to stand straight and play and enjoy; I wanted to know the secret because I also wanted to wear bikini freely; I also wanted to be a part of this happiness that everyone seem to radiate. I had to see how bad I looked – I needed to analyse and accept how I looked and moreover I wanted to see why it mattered to me to look Barbie perfect for wearing a bikini on a beach. I needed to know.

After a while I got up and roamed around the lanes, and there I saw something that induced a spectacular idea in my head. I entered a sketch shop. I took off my top and paid for a bikini portrait of mine. I still remember that one hour of portrait making – that one hour of exposing myself to me. It gave me the acceptance I needed. That one hour was totally worth it. When I came out with my sketch I smiled. I saw a piece of a bikini body that was made by an artist. I saw a piece of an art, I saw myself reflected in that small piece of paper and it made me feel so true and so important for some reason. The very sketch made each and every cell in my body release endorphins. I fell in love with my portrait. It was a fine feeling, tears brimmed my eyes and I hugged it. It felt good to make yourself feel mattered. Thats what I had to learn to finally accept myself. I analysed as I went down to the beach that I did not look bad at all, I looked okay, absolutely fabulous! In fact I looked really beautiful and confident. I seemed normal. I seemed human.

That day was my first day to ever walk on beach with only bikini on. Mazie was proud. And I prouder. I atlast had found my mirror.

#body shaming #short story #body love #vampire #teen fiction #teen stories #bloodlust #food #mental illness #mental health #body hate #art #mirror

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swearronchanel · 7 years

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As per request, 2.05

You guys have been so freaking sweet and kind to me with your feedback since I started making these ridiculous posts, it’s insane but I love it!❣️ I literally started these as a joke because my one friend who watches call the midwife didn’t pick up the phone (and bc I was under the influence whoops hahaha it happens) but now I have so much fun posting every week! I’m sure I won’t stop these any time soon (what will I do when this series is over until Christmas? Yikes lets not talk about it yet) Anyways @marialujan22 requested I rewatch and post for 2x5 & shit it’s been a while since I’ve watched series 2 but I couldn’t say no! Besides Im in a good mood because I have 10 days till spring break & only like 8 weeks left in the semester so here we go ..

idk if I’m mentally prepared for this

THE BIKE SONG I LOVE IT

“Somewhere far away, scientist we’re working on a magic pill, rumored to make pregnancy a case of choice..” Hell yea birth control, deff a magic pill in my opinion

Crazy that it took 3 series for the pill to become a thing & then there was still lame ass government guidelines

Jenny Lee! lol I often forget about her sorry not sorry, I liked her but she left. ya no importa

I love how “mature jenny” still narrates even though her character is never even mentioned anymore #letmenarrate lol jk I like Vanessa Redgrave’s voice

“Meanwhile other scientists were trying to send humans to the moon” fuck yea Hidden Figures

If CtM went up until 1969 that’d be lit, like the episode on mad men when they watched the moon landing! Just replace them with nuns and nurses and babies & replace the liquor for tea 😂

Shit I’ve said typed so much already

SISTER MJ💕 I wanna smack myself she’s brushing her teeth & I thought of that stupid toothbrush song from last week’s episode kill me

Nora’s pregnant again uh oh

Cynthia! SISTER E! Jane! It’s been so long

My bby Trixie 💕😍 I miss her pin curls! But now she’s serving those 60s looks so I’m here for it all

“Take that off this minute before you go to hell” LMAO TRIX YOU CANT TELL KIDS THAT

lol who am I kidding I would’ve said the same

I love sister Monica Joan, id quote everything she ever says but that’s too much work

Vicar’s wife? But who was the vicar?

LMAO WAIT DOESNT SISTER MJ FAKE A HEART ATTACK??

YES SHE DID IM DEAD I LOVE HER, WELL IT WAS LIKE ANGINA BUT IDC STILL FUNNY CAUSE SHE DIDNT WANNA GO

PRECIOUS SISTER BERNADETTE 😭💕

I STILL CANT BELIEVE MY BBY SHELAGH WAS A NUN, ITS SO STRANGE TO GO BACK AND SEE HER IN THE HABIT, LIKE YOURE PREGNANT NOW, WITH DR TURNERS BABYYY!!

anyone else really wanted to know how she was going to tell Sister Julienne “um i was already done with being a nun and now im love sick, I can’t stop thinking about Dr Turner so I gotta ditch this habit”

damn I feel so bad like she did not want another baby & had no choice but to deal with it

No Jenny, tea is not gonna help right now

And heres the lady that scammed her

How much is 2 guinnis ? Idk how to spell that u already know I’m an ignorant American

Did she really tell a married woman keep her legs closed? It Doesn’t even matter if she was married or not like who are u anyway?? I would’ve bitch slapped her too, good for u Nora

Sister MJ saying her horoscope was right, we are the same😭

Wtf is spotted dick? Also I laughed because I’m immature Lmaoo

Sister J eating the pudding, she knows how to get to sister MJ 😂 I love them

Trixie teasing Jane about the Reverend lol aw

“I can’t knit I had a heart attack this morning” ME TRYING TO GET OUT OF THINGS

8 kids in one bedroom though yikes

Cute and classic bedroom moments 😭💕

“Naughty version of eggnog” like coquito? Lol nah, coquito is the bomb

IM CRYING SISTER BERNADETTE LOOKING IN THE DOORWAY

THIS BREAKS MY HEART EVERYTIME

THEY FUCKING CLOSED THE DOOR ON HER, MY BBY. I WANT TO HUG HER 💔💔💔 she deserves the world

Who is this irrelevant ass vicars wife? “Cherrio”

I’m so sorry Nora

Ew wtf a rat just bit the baby?

“Just tell me what you want sister” SHE WANTS YOU DOCTOR

THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OMG IM SHOOK

WHAT THE HELL TIM WHY DID YOU RUIN THE MOMENT ?!

sister MJ wants to roll bandages, make it happen! lol I love that Cynthia and Jane unwrap them all for her 😭

Aww i love babies !! but that one with a funny nose uhh

SISTER BERNADETTE BLOWING THE WHISTLE AND CHEERING 💕 MY HEART SHE IS SO ADORABLE

Aw I wish Trixie could have another scene going through old pictures and maybe share old stories with the new nurses💔 unlikely but you know I can hope. SHE DID HAVE THAT PHOTO OF HER AND CYNTHIA ON HER MIRROR LAST SUNDAY💕

“I’m a woman on a mission” beatrix, light in my life

Curly locks lol, when I was younger I was called Shirley temple and when I dyed my hair I was called Goldie locks.. mind u that lasted into high school 😂 I’m staying blonde for good though, I don’t think I can pull off anything else

DONT GO OUT WITH HIM TRIXIE, HE’S TRASH

Laura Main’s angelic voice ✨👼🏼

who am I kidding she’s an angel

you know what would be fun and a dream? to go out with the ctm cast and get drunk and take trashy snapchat videos singing

Gin & a hot bath??

Trixie looked him up lol, good move

BUT HE’S STILL TRASH and an asshole

Pickle knife ?

again, this irrelevant vicar’s wife? vete ya

Everyone thinks Sister MJ is senile but she knows what’s up with Sister Bernadette..

“..but is all blank sadness and continued tears” MY HEART💔 sister Bernadette/Shelagh has spent the majority of this show crying/being sad/distressed ugh!! Laura Main plays is beautifully but I CRY!? Let her be uninterruptedly happy please 😭💕

she (and helen) ruined me tbh, I used to have dignity

Is Jenny really naive or is she just pretending not to understand??

SEE SISTER BERNADETTE IS ON SCREEN AGAIN & IS UPSET

“I almost wish I was physically ill..” okay bRb CRYIN. THIS IS WHY I CANT WATCH THESE OLDER EPISODES I CRY TOO MUCH, I DONT LIKE TO SEE HER UNHAPPY

Remember when I started the show and didn’t know it was gonna ruin my life? Or before I grew attached? Yea me neither lmaoo those were the days when I thought downton killed me. I Didn’t know what was coming 😂 still love downton though rip #downtonmoviepls

Knitting needles?? aye dios mio

HA GREMLIN TIM AND JACK

Again how much is a gunniea and how do I spell it? I could google it but I’m busy here

She was willing to sell her wedding ring and risk her life for an unprofessional abortion. DO YOU SEE THE ISSUE? This isn’t just the a period drama either. Shit is real

“Are babies more valued because they can survive or do they survive beside they are more valued?” good question sis

lol Jane was so sweet and just bounced with no word

AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE SHE WENT THOUGH, THANKS FOR THAT NZ CUT SCENE

Trixie being a babe and getting ready to do her nails 😍💕 I wish I could do mine well but I’m trash and so I pay to get them done

The cross cutting in this scene is crazy but so well done (& yes look at me using real terms lol, I took a Music in film class last semester and had to know editing techniques 😂, I did fairly well too)

I really don’t know how she survived this

My bby trixie looking gorgeous as per usual. I love her so much, Helen u kill me

NO COÑFIO TRIXIE, HE’S NO GOOD

Haha why did I not remember the Gone With The Wind reference? Cynthia was so cute, I miss her carefree and happy

FRECO MOVE YOUR DAMN HAND, YOU ARE TRASH.

HE’S FICTIONAL BUT ID STILL FIGHT HIM

my poor bby😭💔 it is not your fault , he’s trash!! But this moment between the nurses warmed my cold heart

“Matrons in charge, virgins of iron” 😭😭

Aw Earth Angel playing, ✨🎼 I highkey pop to 50s/60s pandora stations

Jenny yes it’s illegal but do you think that matters rn??

TIM AS MAID MARION LMAO

Sister Bernadette looking at Dr Turner ah omg 😭they’ve come so far.

It’s not your fault Jenny but you should’ve told someone

Sister B & Tim won 👏🏼

LMAO ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT POST “WOAH CALM DOWN IM JUST TRYNA DATE YOUR DAD”

and she’s down, and the glasses flew

“You’ve hurt your hand” “well I’m sure there’s no need to amputate” ah sister b/shelagh lowkey has some of the funniest lines she just slips them in and people miss them !!

Here it comes ..

THE MOMENT..

“Would you like me to have a look at that?” UHM YEA

No but seriously I can barely remember what I thought when I first watched this but I knew something was gonna happen because a nurse can handle her own damn cut & well you know, she was in love with him

HE KISSED HER HAND. A fucking doctor kissed a nuns hand people, how scandalous & this was THE MOMENT I KNEW I WAS CORRUPT AND WAS GOING TO HELL, I AM SATAN I WANTED THE DOCTOR TO KISS A FREAKING NUN ON THE MOUTH LIKE WTF WHO RAISED ME? MY MOTHER WANTED IT TOO SO IDK BUT THIS KILLED ME, LIKE R.I.P HERE LIES GABBY, I WAS IN THE GROUND DECEASED. I’m actual trash. Someone dispose of me in the proper bin #recyle

for real, this is when I really knew that I was never going to love any other show like this and I allowed it to ruin me

BUT HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? THATS A BOLD MOVE

BOLD IN GENERAL BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW IF SHE LIKES YOU BUT BOLD x1000 BC SHE IS A NUN, YOU KNOW MARRIED TO GOD, VOW OF CHASITY AND ALL THAt??

What if she would’ve freaked tf out or told sister Julienne? I don’t even know. I’ll just be grateful for how things turned out

“At this moment I only know I’m not turning my back on you because of you but I’m doing it because of him” AHHHH, DONT WORRY BBY GOD LOVES U AND UNDERSTANDS YOU LOVE HIM AND THE DOCTOR, LOSE THAT HABIT AND GO PROPERLY KISS PATRICK 😭

Sister MJ judging the baby contest is the purest thing & I need it to cleanse my disgusting soul that wants a dr to get with a nun #notsorrythough

“In Nonnatus we were good at tending other’s wounds and there were times I felt we were all each other’s children..” brb I’m crying I love that they’re like a family 😭💕💔

I’m so happy they didn’t kill Nora and she actually was happy in the end. I really wasn’t sure for a moment (obviously when I first watched lol)

“ Free reliable contraception came too late to help her, but in time the scientists triumphed. Her daughters and granddaughters lives remained transfigured, long after man left fleeting footprints on the moon.” Vanessa always knowing what to say in the end.

Lets see how the pill is going to be reintroduced this series, I’m interested in how it’s going to play out.

I’ve said that so many times though so I’ll be done

The End.

#call the midwife #im actual trash #I love this show too much #my thoughts #and rambles #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though #my commentaries™

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argaliaofficial · 6 years

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i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked.

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs.

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends.

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids.

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew.

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever”

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!”

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me.

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened.

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal.

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that.

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic.

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky.

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks

#av talks #text #THIS IS HEAVY #rape mention #abuse mention

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