#and secondly have you considered that by playing over and over again (the point of the damn mode in the first place) you unlock more story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

satorusugurugurl · 3 months

Note

okay so 1st of all i love your posts

can you do nanami with a breeding kink plsss

ty <3333

First off thank you so so much!!

And secondly heck yes!! 😏

More Than Words

Summary: Your husband, Nanami Kento decides he’s ready to take your marriage to the next level.

Pairing: Nanami Kento x FAB!Reader

Warnings: Teeth rotting fluff! Super romantic, language, dirty talk, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2,704

A/N: This, this did things to me. But I liked it 🥵

Nanami watched you closely from the kitchen. You sat outside on the porch, sipping tea as you scrolled through your phone. The two of you made it a point to spend the evenings outside, enjoying the setting sun and breathing fresh air. He had just been outside with you but excused himself to try and settle his nerves.

He would ask you tonight if you were ready to start trying for a baby.

The thought of having a child hadn’t crossed his mind in your two years of marriage until last weekend. You two had gone to dinner with one of your coworkers, who had just been blessed with a baby boy. You were practically glowing as you held the little boy in your arms. The way you spoke softly, gently rocking them while humming? It was a side of you Nanami had never seen before.

The raw awe and amazement etched on your face was a look he desperately needed to see again. To see you staring at the child you both made would be a sight that would forever linger in his daydreams until he made sure it came true. To step in that direction, he needed to bring it up with you.

You weren’t on birth control. Every single form you tried since you were seventeen made you sick. From the pills to the shots, you considered trying the IUD, but you chicken out at the last second. The entirety of your sexual relationship with Nanami had always been with the use of condoms. So, if you agreed with him, that would mean you’d be doing it raw for the first time in either of your lives.

So he was nervous beyond all words, from wanting to bring a child into the world to experiencing having sex at its rawest form. Thoughts swarmed his mind in a slurry. There was a lot for both of you to consider. Both of you. Nanami couldn’t move forward without talking to you.

With a deep exhale, Nanami headed back outside, shutting the door behind him. “Sorry about that.” He whispered as he sat next to you on the outdoor couch.

“Mmm,” you immediately snuggled next to him, “I was about to call for a search party.” You teased, putting your phone away. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Mhmm,” You could easily see through that heavily played hum. Something was on his mind.

“Nanami Kento, I hate to break it to you, but I know you better than you know yourself. You have something on your mind.” Tilting your head up, you watched the tips of his ears flush before spreading down the nape of his neck. “So, you might as well talk to me.” You paused, “You know, seeing that I’m your wife.” You wiggled your left hand in front of his face—your wedding ring sparkling in the pastel colors of the setting sun.

“My wife.”

Your breath hitched as Nanami’s larger hand wrapped around your smaller one. Bringing your ring to his lips, pressing a kiss against it. His eyes were shut; he looked handsome, pondering whatever clouded his mind. Feeling your gaze on him, Nanami slowly opened his eyes, looking down at you.

“But you’re so much more than just my wife Y/N.” His fingers trailed slowly over your palm, tracing the lines over your skin. “You’re my best friend, partner, the love of my life.” Nanami brought your palm to his mouth, retracing the path of his fingers with his lips. “You’re my purpose, my reason to keep going.”

“Kento.” You whispered in awe as he turned the both of you so you were facing each other head-on.

“My soul.” He placed both hands on yours. “My strength.” You shuddered as his heated palm moved up your arms, trailing them slowly towards your shoulders. “My everything.” You moaned as his hands that so lovingly traced over your arms gently cupped your face. “But I hate to admit that I want more.”

His thumbs lovingly caressed your cheeks, bringing you flush against his chest. “More?” You followed his lead, running your hands slowly down his pecs and over his ab’s, heading towards his crotch. “How much more?” The groan that left his lips was deep and full of unfiltered need.

“I don’t just want you to be my best friend, partner, or wife, Y/N.” His lips were centimeters from yours. Your breath mingled with his as you breathed slowly in the last fragments of sunlight. “I want you to be the mother of my children.”

Kento saw the way your eyes lit up. A glimmering sparkle in Y/E/C irises. Just like you knew him, Kento knew you better than yourself. The way you melted against him, drawing yourself as close as you could on the small loveseat, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind.

The irrational fears and hesitation vanished as you whimpered. “I want that so bad, Ken; I want to be the moth—“ your husband silenced you with a searing kiss.

You followed his lead, kissing him as his gentle touch turned into something more needy, more primal. There was a desire he’d never felt before boiling deep within his chest. Kento needed you, needed to be buried inside of you, filling you with his cum, ensuring that you would be, without a doubt, pregnant with his child.

He was going to breed you.

Pulling away, you gasped for air, a string of saliva connected between your lips. Nanami’s chest rose and fell with each strangled breath as he so desperately tried to refrain from destroying you. Seeing the conflicted expression on his face, you decided to help. What kind of wife would you be if you didn’t? Dropping to your knees, you slowly pulled the waistband of his lounge pants down.

“Y/N love, what are you doing?”

“Shh~” you glanced at him, “you need to relax. Let me help clear your mind.”

Your delicate fingers traced the v-line of his crotch up and down. His hips jerked up, cock throbbing within his boxers. His brown eyes followed your hands, watching you tug his boxers down. His already hard, throbbing cock smacked against his stomach with a smack, his pre-cum smearing over his toned skin. The sight of his thick length had your mouth watering. Wrapping your hand around the base, you slowly stroked up and down, smearing his pre-cum over his entire length.

“Fuucck,” Nanami’s voice was almost inaudible as he groaned. Hearing him curse like that’s had your cunt throbbing, your slick coating your panties. “Fuck Y/N, that’s feels so fucking good.”

“Oh, my darling husband,” He peered down at you through half-lidded eyes, “you haven’t felt anything yet.” You took him in your mouth, and the salty yet sweet taste of him hit your tastebuds, making you whine around him. You bobbed your head up and down slowly, coating the throbbing tip with your saliva before you moved further down his shaft, gagging as his cock hit the back of your throat.

You slowly lifted your head back up when his hand wrapped into your hair. You shut your eyes, bracing yourself for him to slam your back down around his throbbing length. Much to your surprise, he did the complete opposite. Yanking your hair, he practically had to pry you off of him, his chest heaving as he forced you to look into his eyes.

“Did you not understand what I said earlier?” He stood, releasing his grip on your hair.

“I did; you want to make babies with me.”

“Mhmm,” he hummed, taking your hand in his helping you to your feet. “And how do you suppose I do that if I cum down your throat.” Nanami didn’t even allow you to consider an answer. “Looks like I need to give you a thorough demonstration of how it works.”

“Oh my god!” You laughed as Kento lifted you, carrying you inside towards your bedroom. “I guess a demonstration would be beneficial in this case.” You breathed out breathlessly as he tossed you onto the bed. “Just so you know, I might need several demonstrations.”

“I agree; the more demonstrations, the better.” Your husband grabbed the hem of your shirt, tugging it up and over your head before tossing it to the floor. “To start, we need to remove these pesky clothes.”

You tried to keep a serious face as you followed his lead. Shirts, pants, and underwear piled on the floor around your bed. Only once the two of you were bare, Kento situated between your thighs as you wrapped your legs around his hips. The giggling and joking around subsided into a comfortable silence. While the room was thick with tension, it didn’t change the fact that both of you were ready for this. To experience making love without a pesky condom.

“Y/N.” Nanami drew your attention to his face as he spoke. “I love you.” His fingers rubbed small lazy circles over your clit. The sensation had you bucking against his hand, eager for more than the gentle caressing he was giving you.

“I-fuck feels good. I love you too, Kento.”

His fingers began moving faster, the circles tighter as his eyes trailed over your body. He was taking a mental picture of you in this moment, imagining how you’d look several months down the road. Breast and belly swollen with the child he put inside of you. You’d be even more gorgeous than you already were, which seemed utterly unfathomable to him. The images of you, pregnant with your child, God, it was more pornographic than any movie or book he’s seen. A lot of it had to be because of you. Nanami was so fucked up over the thought of breeding you.

“Ke-Kento, I-I’m gonna cum!” Your whimpers and whines brought him back to the moment. “Stop. I wanna cum with you inside of me.”

He leaned down, kissing you softly, his hand slowing down. You lazily kissed him back before gasping as you felt his leaking tip rub up and down your slit. Without the condom, you could feel just how hot and hard he was. Kento’s arms were caging around your head. His wide eyes mirrored what you imagined you looked like. The feeling of your bare wet pussy felt-ten times better than he imagined. And he wasn’t even inside you yet.

“You’re so wet,” his eyes fluttered shut, “you felt good every time I slid into you before, but this, god, this is going to be a whole new experience.”

“Y-Yeah feels good, though.”

“Very good.”

Nanami continued gritting his teeth as he slowly slid into you. Your silky wet, warm walls hugged his cock in a way he could never experience with condoms before. The raw feeling had him clenching his fists into the covers, furrowing his brows together as he desperately tried not to cum inside of you like a virgin. He needed to focus on something other than your pussy, so he focused his attention on your face.

Which was a major mistake on his part.

Cheeks flushed; your mouth was frozen in an ‘O’ shape. And fuck, the whimpers and way your chest heaved it made his knees weak. “S-So hot, oh my god Kento your cock is so hot and velvety.” His eyes were as wide as saucers as you slowly began rocking against him, trying to get his thick, cock deeper inside of you. “Please don’t stop, fuck me, please fuck me. Need to feel you, I need more.” Between your cunt squeezing him and the needy tone of your voice, Nanami lost all self control.

His hips slammed against your, causing a scream to escape you as your arched your back off the bed. As soon as he was buried deep inside your wet pussy, he was pulling out before slamming back inside your tight spongy walls. You were hit with a sudden wave or revelation as to why people hated wearing condoms. They prevent you from feeling the velvety smooth pull of your husband cock as he slammed into you over and over again. You could feel his cock throbbing, leaking inside of you, God it felt so good to be fucking you raw like this.

“Fuck your pussy is perfect, so fucking wet, so tight just for me.” His lips pressed against your, his thrusts finding the perfect rhythm as you cried into his mouth.

“Yes Ken, yes, fuck me, fuck me!”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll get pregnant off the first try.” He chuckled his hands groping your breasts, kneading them. Nanami whined, picturing them swollen with milk. “Even if that happens, I’m just going to keep fucking you full of me cum, just to be safe. God fuck Y/N!” His shameless words had you drowning in pleasure as you twitched around his perfect cock. “Ah~ fuck I felt you twitch. You like knowing that your husband is going to stop at nothing, until your breed?”

“Oh, oh fuck, yes, I want it, I want it!”

“Such a sweet girl, you want it?” He groaned in your ear, feeling you clamp down harder around him as his thrusts losing his rhythm. “Tell me you want me to breed you. Tell me you want me to be the first and only man to fill your tight cunt with cum.”

“Kento~ nngh, yes, breed me, make me yours in every way you can! Cum inside me, please, please!” Your begging, the moans, only had him whining and growling louder, fucking into you like he never had before. So rough, so passionately, it was perfect. All through subsided as you cried out Nanami had angled his hips to brush against your g-spot before pressing directly into your cervix. “Holy fuck yes, fill me up Ken!”

More dirty words and curses spilled from your tongue as you felt yourself approaching your orgasm. The tightening coil in your lower abdomen, had your withering under your husband. Your squirming had Nanami fucking harder into you, His mouth on yours as he made love to you like the world was going to end. In his horny brain it might just happen if he didn’t fuck his cum into you soon.

“That’s it, good girl, good fucking girl~ take it, fucking take all of it.” His thrusts were jerky, his balls tightening as your dug your heels into his ass, successfully pulling his deeper inside of you. “Ah fuck! You’re such a good girl, so eager to be the future mother of my children.” All you were capable of doing was nodding as you cried out around him with each deep thrust. “Fuck, get pregnant Y/N, cum on my cock, and milk me for all that I’m worth.”

“K-Kento! Ken!”

“That’s it, love~ fuckin’ cum, cum all over me, good girl.”

“Nnngh!!” A scream ripped through your throat as Kento sped up, his thumb rubbing your clit as you came, extending your orgasm.

Your cum coated his cock, the warm slickness and you throbbing walls urged him to do exactly what he had been promising to do. “Get pregnant, take it, take all my cum. I’m cumming, oh my god I’m cumm-“ Kento cut himself off by slamming his lips against your, his tongue slid into your mouth as he moaned. His cock spurted and spurted, filling you full of his cum the sensation was strange, warm, and new.

But it felt so fucking good.

Pulling away from you, Kento gasped for air as he reached up gentle caressing your face as you both tried to catch your breath. Once Nanami managed to swallow down enough air to slow his heart rate, he beamed down at you. “Y/N I love you.” He didn’t say anything else, because his loving touch, and the gentle kisses he peppered over your face spoke volumes.

Those strong loving arms held you close, pulling you onto your sides. His cock keeping your bodies connected as he spooned you. Your husband loved you more than words could describe. The mere gentleness of this moment, had you praying that if you were to get pregnant, this was the moment it happened.

515 notes · View notes

nobodyfamousposts · 2 years

Text

Why Scarlet Lady Is Better Than Canon: Desperada

Can we take a moment to just appreciate how @zoe-oneesama vastly improved Desparada?

There are so many things to love about this episode. Aspik and Viperion's redesigns. Jealous Adrien. Blushy Marinette. Aspik's redesign. Actual follow up on the previous Luka confession in Silencer. Seeing Scarlet taken out by the akuma. Aspik's redesign. Viperion's snek tongue and hilarious expressions. Seeing more family interaction between Jagged and Penny with the Couffaines. Aspik's redesign. There are SO many reasons to love this episode, but there are also reasons it's better than canon and these are in part due to the issues with the canon version of the episode in the first place.

First off, canonically speaking, despite Desperada being meant as Luka’s breakout hero episode and an Adrien-focused episode, we don’t get the necessary focus on either of them as the the narrative ultimately gave the focus and lesson of the episode to Marinette for “choosing wrong” and “not being able to see past Adrien to choose Luka”, which runs counter to the general rule of the series in that she’s SUPPOSED to be choosing Adrien in all things. So ultimately, what should be an Adrien and/or Luka episode feels very watered down because Marinette is thrown into it where she doesn’t need to be to shoulder the blame for anything going wrong.

Secondly, for a Luka hero debut episode, Luka does very little. We see that he’s great with the Snake and was clearly the “right choice all along” to use it. Which is fine. But much like Carapace in Anansi and King Monkey in Partycrasher, there isn’t much in the way of focus on him or buildup to him becoming a hero. In Luka’s case, he’s played off as the second choice to Adrien, which would set the precedent for canon as a whole if canon hadn’t already made that point clear all the way back in Frozer. And that only makes it more depressing how canon seems glued, nailed, and riveted to this as a plot point.

Third and most important in regards to this particular essay, Adrien’s use of the Snake is problematic. He’s shown to be doing it because he’s psyched that Ladybug chose him as a civilian even if that means abandoning her as Chat and LYING to her about it. Other than a few snide comments from Plagg in the moment which could be easily attributed to his own jealousy in the matter, this is never addressed or brought up again. We never see Adrien learning from how things go wrong or learn how to plan accordingly, he just seems to try different random things without considering why they fail only to be surprised time and again when each of his following plans also fail. Because of this as well as his determination, he says he was reliving the same five minute time span for months in a self-perpetuating hell of failure before he finally acknowledges that he isn’t fit for the role. This could have been a great character developing moment for Adrien as he’d have to use his ability as the Snake to actually be the planner for once or gain knowledge about Hawk Moth and Ladybug that can tie into future episodes. But because they focus in on him wanting to prove Ladybug’s faith in him right (and because of Thomas’s “Rule” that Marinette must always be the one to learn a lesson each episode), it comes off as being Ladybug’s fault for choosing him over Luka rather than the fact that it was his choice to forego his role as Chat to be a temp Snake hero—and that between him and Ladybug, HE was the only one at that time who had reason to know why it would be a bad idea.

Ultimately, depending on how you look at it, this results in making Adrien appear either very devoted to the point of codependent or just very foolish and selfish for being so intent on keeping this lie going that he would rather repeat thousands of loops of failure to keep misusing the Snake Miraculous for arguably selfish reasons.

Compare with Scarlet Lady, which has Adrien keep misusing the Snake Miraculous for blatantly selfish reasons.

“But Nobody!” I can hear you say, “Doesn’t that make him worse?”

To which I say, “Yes. Which is why it makes him BETTER.”

As we can see from this comic, Adrien is fully misusing the Snake Miraculous for petty revenge and he is enjoying the HECK out of it.

Is it wrong? Definitely.

Do I blame him? Not at all.

Let’s bear in mind that per Zoe, Adrien has been suffering as Scarlet Lady’s “sidekick” for 8 months by this point. That’s almost a year of having to fight akumas mostly on his own or with unexpected civilian help (which is an issue all its own) while dealing with a bossy and antagonistic “hero” who spends more time on her phone than actually helping with the akumas. Made worse by this girl taking advantage of his state after the fight to give out a false narrative of how SHE saved the day without anyone to point out otherwise.

Dealing with Scar has had such a profound effect on him throughout the series. We can see it in the way that Adrien has been more stressed. His response to Fu upon discovering him. And the way he has been untrusting and resistant to actual help when it finally arrived in the form of Marigold.

Just because Marigold finally showed up to give him a real partner does not mean that his suffering was over or in any way healed. At best, it gave him someone to share in his misery of dealing with Scar and be a support for him in akuma fights/heroing who wasn’t a civilian. Or more accurately, who wasn’t a specific civilian girl he has a crush on…as far as he knows, at any rate.

What it comes down to is that Scar has been a constant source of anger, stress, and resentment for Adrien. Her treatment of him is downright abusive in every way, and Chat has been in the incredibly unfortunate position that there hasn’t been anything he could do about that. Or at least not anything that wouldn’t end up only working to her benefit or making things worse for himself and the city. Even after discovering Fu and being told she was never actually meant to have been the Ladybug user, he was still stuck dealing with her. He really has no choice but to stick it out and let her continue as she is, because the consequences otherwise would be too dire.

This is why the Snake Miraculous is such a game changer…because it is the one miraculous that lets these consequences be thrown right out the window.

This is his one opportunity, perhaps the only time he has or will ever HAVE the freedom to say and do whatever he wants to Scar and not have to worry about the potential aftermath.

No worries about Scar being unable or unwilling to use the Cure.

No issues of Hawk Moth or the akuma getting the Miraculous.

No fears of Scar throwing a tantrum or doing anything to make him look like the villain to the city.

No concerns of Scar trying to run away and potentially losing the Ladybug Earrings.

Five minutes of pure consequence-free actions, where he can do ANYTHING to inflict a fraction of the torment Scar has caused him, to be repeated as many times as he wants!

Ladies and Gentlemen and People of all types: This is Adrien Agreste with a Revenge Boner.

The introduction of the Snake Miraculous gives Adrien the power he’s lacked in his relationship with Scarlet Lady. And now that he’s on the superior end of the power disparity with the freedom to do and say whatever he wants to her with no consequences, he’s taking full advantage of it.

This is a stark contrast to Canon Adrien and how he handled his time as Aspik. This makes Scarlet Lady Adrien exceedingly more selfish compared to the angst-fest that was Desperada in canon. But it is also more enjoyable because of it.

In terms of the Scarlet Lady narrative itself, this is catharsis for Adrien. After everything Scar has put him through, he’s able to get that sweet, sweet payback and see all the ways he can torment her. This is only part of what all that past mistreatment from Scar has been leading up to. This becomes a matter of both continuity, cause and effect, and character building.

Remember the old writing advice of “show, don’t tell”? Yeah. This is Zoe SHOWING you just how much Adrien hates Scar by this point.

In terms of comparing the two episodes, what we have is a difference between an angst-filled self-imposed helplessness versus the aforementioned catharsis. See, this version works better because it makes it clear that Adrien is the one with full control in the situation and what he is DOING with that control. He controls how long the loops last. How many times he goes back. When he stops looping. And most importantly, what he does in those loops.

In canon, part of Adrien’s angst over his time as Aspik is supposed to be over all the times he tries and fails to save Ladybug, but it’s undercut by the fact that his suffering is almost entirely self-inflicted. Both by lying to Ladybug in the first place and then by putting in so much effort to keep the lie going that he would rather allow Ladybug to be taken out several thousand times than simply tell her the truth.

While the narrative seems to want us to believe that Adrien has no real power in this situation, Adrien is the one with the control in each of the loops. He just using it in the worst ways and CONTINUING to keep doing so even when he knows it won’t work. In this sense, his repeated attempts don’t come off as heroic so much as frustrating. And also hypocritical because they’re trying to beautify his actions to hide that they’re ultimately self-serving. When his “suffering” is self-imposed, the angst comes off as pretentious.

Scarlet Lady avoids this because Adrien has no such angst. He’s having the time of his freaking life. Is he a jerk for it? Yes. Is it wrong? Also yes. Should he be called out for it at some point in the future? Definitely. But this is mitigated not only by the power of Second Chance, but also by the fact that it was implied if not outright stated from the start that he had no intention of actually defeating the akuma as Aspik and fully planned to do whatever was necessary to avoid being called on as a temp hero again in the future. This tells us that Adrien’s actions weren’t planned for a specific victory outcome the way Canon Adrien did. It wasn’t that he actually intended to use the Miraculous against Scarlet Lady from the start, but that he realized after that first time seeing Scarlet taken out that this would be a perfect opportunity to let out his unresolved animosity towards her. The way that a lot of people would do if such an opportunity ever landed in their lap to torment their tormentor and get away with it. This makes Adrien incredibly selfish and it makes him all the more real and human because of it.

Then there’s the matter of Luka. In canon, he’s clearly chosen second to Adrien and this should be an issue. However, other than the narrative pointing at Marinette being at fault for choosing Adrien over Luka twice in situations that Luka should be viewed as the “clear better fit for”, nothing is done with it.

In Scarlet Lady, Zoe sidestepped the issue of who would play with Jagged while also pointing out the ridiculousness of firing Vivica in the first place over incredibly stupid reasons. It makes what was an episode that made Jagged look incredibly immature and selfish instead appear much more endearing as it was revealed he did it intentionally to spend time with his kids and both his ex and his kids are fully aware of this. Of course, it was still a jerk move of him to do this to Vivica, yes. But it was endearing and I don't feel what likability Jagged had in season one drop like a boulder.

So instead of the canon narrative of Luka never being good enough compared to Adrien and this somehow being Marinette’s fault, Zoe changed the focus for Luka on how Marinette is responding to his confession the previous episode. This works even better in that it shows continuity is a thing, as is character development. It made the side issue of the episode that Marinette doesn’t know how to respond to this—which makes sense in light of her being a girl who has never been confessed to, now being confessed to by someone she considers a friend and she doesn’t want to ruin that. It handled the situation maturely in the end, and Zoe did a wonderful job showing Marinette’s uncertainty and her reactions as her emotions are still a mess while also showing Luka’s concerns when they’re finally able to talk things out. It was a lovely end to the episode that really felt like a step forward: Luka is shown being more proactive in regards to his feelings compared to canon, Marinette is also coming to terms with her feelings, and Adrien fully admits that Hawk Moth is the only reason he isn’t being forward with his feelings for her.

See what this is? Progress. Slow and simple forward steps that make it feel like things are moving instead of being stuck at a standstill until plot requires them to jerk it forward. This is something Miraculous canon desperately needs.

In conclusion: The Scarlet Lady version of Desperada is an improvement to the canon version because it ultimately puts the onus of control in the matter of the “failed loops” on Adrien where it should be (even if it’s played for laughs), takes the responsibility of “choosing wrong” and Adrien’s failures to defeat the akuma off of Marinette (who had limited control of the situation in comparison to him), doesn’t throw in Luka as a second choice for Adrien with no relevance of his own except that he's second choice, and makes the episode as a whole more enjoyable and less of an exercise in frustration.

#ml analysis #scarlet lady #scarlet lady is better than canon #ml salt #adrien salt #for zoe #you know why #have I mentioned aspik's redesign?

1K notes · View notes

mackerel1522 · 22 days

Text

Hey guys, have we already considered that maybe Fyodor is the same as IRL!Dostoevsky?

We know he already met Bram at least a few times and Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is set in the late 19th century - the same century IRL!Dostoevsky lived in.

What I'm trying to say is: What if our Fedya was actually born in 1821 just like the real author? What if our Fedya is actually the Dostoevsky?

First: Dostoyevsky's Works

Fyodor's character/ability/environment containt lots of references to most of his works:

- Crime and Punishment: the crime is being killed and as a punishment he take over the body of the killer + his character is heavely Raskonikov-coded

- The Demons: Fyodor is often refered to as a demon (or as the "Northern Devil")

*also another title of this novel is 'The Possessed' which heavily refers to his ability too

- Notes From The Underground: Fyodor's philosophy has a lot in common with the one of the "Underground Man" (the narrator and protagonist of the novella)

- The House of the Dead: his organisation "Rats in the House of the Dead" is based partially on the novel

- The Gambler: we see him play at the begining of the manga against Ace (and nails it) + later the Sky Casino where he sends Sigma

(The list continues but it'd take way too long for me to cover all of it TuT')

- The Double: his double-personality-faking after his breakdown in mersault is "The Double"-coded

- The Brothers Karamazov: in an interview, Asagiri revealed he based most of Fyodor's personality on a scene of the novel (the one where Ivan Karamazov talks to 'the devil')

Secondly: Rodion Raskolnikov

Fyodor and Rodion share a lot of common points - Fyodor being heavely Raskolnikov-coded:

First and most obvious: Fedya's ability is C&P and Rodya is the protagonist from C&P

The complex personality: Fyodor is a highly intelligent and enigmatic character. He is confident, exceptionally intelligent, manipulative and can easily see through his enemies' desires and plans. Rodion, on the other hand, is a lonely former student who actively rejects the society's morality. Just like Fedya, Rodya considers himself an exceptional man and wants to test the limits of his own freedom by committing murder. His personality is also tormented and complex.

Common themes: Both characters explore deep themes such as guilt, suffering, redemption and human nature. They both embody dark and complex aspects of the human psyche.

Thirdly: Dostoyevsky and Dostoyevsky

IRL!Dostoyevsky and Our!Dostoyevsky also have a lot of common points:

Personality/Lives:

Both were born on November 11 in Russia

Both have been sentenced to death/sent to prison

Both are very religious people

Both traveled a lot around the world

Both have chronic illnesses (epilepsy/anemia)

Both share a similar philosophy (Orthodox Christianity and Utopian Socialism)

Common themes: religion, redemption, guilt, suffering, human nature, gambling, death, chronic illness, psychology, etc...

Fourthly: Crime and Punishment

"I am crime. I am punishment. Crime and punishment are close friends. Borders vanish. Rooms awaken. The incarnation of death, the master of the ability-consuming fog… Eat, howl, and make violence as your instinct desires. This is neither a loss of control nor a singularity." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungo Stray Dogs Dead Apple)

There is definitely more to Fyodor's ability than "just" possessing the one who just killed him. For instance we have what happened in Dead Apple but we also have some more details that should be noticed (I think): Don't you find it intriguing how everytime before he dies his eyes are light but once he is resurrected his eyes turn dark again? The same happens when he fakes a double personality after his breakdown in mersault: his eyes turn the lightest we've ever seen him have but once he abandons the act they turn pitch black again.

Y'all remember how Harukawa said something like "the darker the eyes, the darker the personality, the lighter the eyes, the closest they are to the good side"? (sorry I don't remember the correct quote but it's something like that)

Intriguing, huh?

Finally: "Dostoyevsky is immortal!"

In his novel "The Master and Margarita", Mikhail Bulgakov says "Dostoyevsky is immortal!". In the manga, we just learned Fyodor's ability which, as said before, consist basically in taking over the body of the one who just killed him. Based on all the canon events of the manga, mostly everything conducts us to think Dostoyevsky's, in fact, immortal. Could Asagiri have been inspired by this quote? That could be possible. (Would it be extremely cool? Hell yeah.)

What if our Dostoyevsky is the Dostoyevsky but in a reality where he is, in fact, immortal?

What do you guys think about it? Do you have another theory? Do you wanna add something? (I'm open to everything! Tell me what you think - whether it's the same or the opposite, I'm curious!)

#bungo stray dog #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd theories #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fyodor #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #bsd meta #bsd crime and punishment #bsd dead apple #bsd 114.5 #bsd spoilers #heavy spoilers!!#please tell me what you think!

41 notes · View notes

astra-ella · 4 months

Text

𝐙𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

fandom: haikyuu ship: nishinoya yuu x oc/reader status: complete ao3 link

"I think you're really pretty. Will you go out with me?" That was the first thing he's ever said to her. And needless to say, Amari Chiyo was not impressed. So as promised, Nishinoya Yuu will get to know her better and confess again. And again. And again. And again. It'll take 6 years and 9 confessions, but he'll get there. Eventually.

⌦ content: fluff, light angst, love at first sight, friends to lover, slice of life

⌦ note: you are free to insert yourself into Chiyo, just keep in mind she has her own character/backstory. i know some people don't like that, so just a heads-up.

story masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

The fourth time he confessed was about three months later — on a hot summer day during their break.

After the incident with Hotaru, Nishinoya became a regular visitor at the Amari residence. However, it wasn’t exactly Chiyo's choice. Every morning when she dropped Hotaru and Kaito off at school, they’d pester her about bringing “that super cool big bro” over to come to play. And as someone with a soft spot for her younger siblings, she couldn’t help but oblige.

Nishinoya was always more than happy to come over. Sometimes he’d be too busy with practice. But there were times when he’d drop at eight o’clock in the evening to join the Amari siblings for dinner. If it was Chiyo’s home cooking, he wouldn’t miss it for the world.

There were a few things Chiyo learned about Nishinoya since he started going over to their place. Firstly, he lived alone with his grandpa, who ran a local bike shop. Apparently, he has three older sisters, but they were all much older than him and going about their business elsewhere in Japan. Secondly, they liked the same manga and regularly bought the newest edition of Shonen Jump magazines. Thirdly, he loved over-the-top action movies. He gets so excited that he often starts yelling in the middle of it. Fourthly, he took his role as a libero very seriously. Chiyo realized that fact after poking her head into a few of his volleyball matches lately.

Last but not least, he was a terrible student.

As a class rep, Chiyo already vaguely knew about that fact. It was hard to miss all the 40s and 50s marked in red in the top corner of his tests every time she was tasked with handing them back. But she didn’t realize exactly how bad it was until she started helping him with his schoolwork during his occasional visits.

On top of all that, he was an awful procrastinator.

Which was why they were sitting in the local library, on a hot summer afternoon, doing their summer homework.

Chiyo knew if they stayed at her place, Hotaru and Kaito would pester them to the point of distraction. And if they went to his place, Nishinoya would get carried away talking about the latest manga. So the only alternative was to work in the public library, free from interruptions.

Or so Chiyo thought, because judging by the big grin on his face, even she was considered a distraction to him.

“Nishinoya, I need you to focus,” she said.

“I am.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just staring at me.”

“I’m thinking.”

Chiyo’s eyes flickered up and she raised an eyebrow.

“If you keep doing this, I’m just gonna move to a different table.”

“Wait, no!” That seemed to pull him out of his trance. He sat up straighter, jotting down a few more answers before groaning. “It’s just, this is so boring,” he slammed his forehead on the table. “Summer’s almost over and it’s a nice day out. We should go out and swim or something.”

“Then you’ll never gonna get this done on time,” Chiyo tapped the edge of his English workbook. “Besides, you had training camp all summer. Haven’t you had your fun?”

“Training camp isn’t for playing, Amari,” Nishinoya gave her a serious look and Chiyo cocked her head to the side.

“But don’t you get to have sleepovers with your teammates and stuff?”

“You do, but you spend most of the time training, hence the name,” Nishinoya leaned back in his chair and spun his pencil. “By bedtime, most of us are way too tired to stay up and chat like we do on school trips. So it’s not as exciting as you think it is.”

“I see.” She hadn’t realized. From what she’s heard from her friends in the softball club, training camps were more like school-organized sleepovers where they spent goofing off rather than training. She didn’t realize the volleyball club actually took things seriously.

From what she’s heard, they were supposed to be a powerhouse school.

After finishing the last question on her page, Chiyo glanced up at Nishinoya who seemed to be actually working. She hummed.

He must’ve heard her or felt her eyes on him because he soon looked up.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she readjusted her reading glasses – a result of developing farsightedness earlier that year. “Let’s take a look at what you’ve got so far.”

“Sure!” His reply was assured as he slid his workbook across the table.

Chiyo caught it with a wry smile and began skimming through his answers.

Her smile quickly faded.

“Nishinoya.”

He perked up. “Yes?”

“Here,” she slammed the workbook onto the table and pointed to one of the questions. “‘Please translate the words below into Japanese.’ ‘Shine’ isn’t ‘go die!’ That’s just Japanese!”

“Dang, so that was a trick question!” He clenched his teeth in frustration.

“No, it’s not!” She then pointed to the next section. “Here! Multiple choice! Circling all the answers and writing ‘one of these’ does not work!”

“But I’m not wrong! It is one of them!”

“And circling all of them is not answering!” Chiyo narrowed her eyes. She then flipped the page over. “‘Yuuto needs help identifying all the animals in this zoo,’ and you wrote ‘They’re all just animals, Yuuto!’ in Japanese. Seriously?!”

“What am I supposed to do? Actually know the English for those animals?”

“Yes!” Chiyo slammed his workbook shut before letting out a long sigh in frustration. “Seriously, what have you been doing during English class?”

“Staring at Nakano-sensei,” Nishinoya gave her a huge thumbs up. “She’s super hot, isn’t she?”

“Uh-huh,” she returned his confidence with an exasperated look. “And for math class it was Sato-sensei, and for history it’s… Wait, why weren’t you paying attention in history? Takahashi-sensei is a guy.”

Nishinoya pulled out his history workbook and pointed to the cute girl mascot on the front page.

“Cause of Aya-chan, of course!”

“Start paying attention in class, you idiot!” Chiyo flicked him on the forehead, causing him to recoil in pain.

That was another thing she learned about him in the past few months. Nishinoya had a huge appreciation for pretty or hot women.

Not that she cared.

“Seriously,” crossing her arms over her chest, Chiyo sighed. “High school entrance exams are coming up soon. What are you gonna do? You know schools are allowed to reject you, no matter how good you are at volleyball, right?

“Hm? What are you talking about?” Nishinoya looked a little confused.

“I mean, even if you get scouted by a powerhouse school, they can still say ‘no’ if your grades are not up to their standards.”

“Oh, I don’t really care about that,” Nishinoya said, taking his workbook back and flipping to the page he was previously working on. “I’m not gonna go to some powerhouse school.”

“What? There’s no way!” Chiyo’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. “You won an award for the best libero. There’s no way there isn’t at least one powerhouse school trying to recruit you!”

“Oh yeah, there are,” his response was relatively nonchalant. “I think there are about four already? But I’ve already decided where I want to go.”

“And where is that?”

“I wanna go to Karasuno,” he grinned. “You know the one not far from your place.”

Chiyo thought about it a little. “Why?”

As far as she knew, Karasuno wasn’t really known for their volleyball. She did remember briefly seeing them on TV at some national tournament many years back, but they haven’t really come up since.

“Because,” Nishinoya’s expression turned oddly serious. “I like the girl’s uniform there. A lot.”

Chiyo blinked.

“I mean hear me out,” he continued. “Don’t you think our uniforms are kinda lame? Brown and in blazers? Way too bland. Karasuno’s uniforms, on the other hand, are those cool, black military uniforms.”

“Are you serious?” Chiyo rolled her eyes. “All that talent and you’re picking a school based on their uniform?”

“You gotta understand, Amari. Black uniforms are what youth is all about! That’s how it’s like in all the shonen manga! Plus the school is pretty close to where I live, so it’s pretty much a no-brainer.”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh.” At this point, she just started tuning him out. “You better pray you end up with a team that’s good enough to actually follow up on your receives.”

Nishinoya looked a little surprised at her comment. “Hey, Amari?”

“Hm?”

“Have you been going to my games lately?”

Chiyo’s pencil snapped from the sudden added pressure. “Wha-?!” She glanced up. “What kind of question is that?!”

“Well, you just seem like you know more about volleyball now,” he pointed out. “Don’t you remember the time Kaito and I were playing outside? And you thought volleyball was a sport where you had to throw the ball into the opponent’s net? But now you actually know about follow-ups and receives,” a big smile slowly began to spread across his cheeks. “You’ve been going to my games, haven’t you?”

“I’ve been to a few,” Chiyo looked away, feeling her cheeks heat up under Nishinoya’s prying gaze. “But it’s only because Kaito keeps asking me how you are during big games! S-So I had to go!”

That was a lie.

“Still, that means you went,” Nishinoya looked like this was the best day of his life. “What did you think? I’m pretty cool, aren’t I?”

He was. When he played volleyball, he was almost like a completely different person. Calm, collected, and focused. There were some saves he made during games that had Chiyo’s heart hanging in her throat, and the way he roared in victory each time their team scored a point gave her butterflies.

Not that she would ever admit it.

“You were fine, I guess,” her reply was curt and Nishinoya pouted.

“What? Only fine? You didn’t think I was awesome, or handsome? Or oh my god, I want that guy to be my boyfriend?” He batted his eyelashes at her. “Because I want you to be my girlfriend, Amari.”

Chiyo glared at him as Nishinoya grinned. She then abruptly gestured to his workbook before going back to her own.

“Still, I can’t believe we’ll be graduating soon,” Nishinoya murmured as he took an eraser and began scrubbing out his nonsense answers. “By the way, which high school are you aiming for?”

“Karasuno High School,” she replied off-handedly.

“Really? Then we’ll be together even after graduation,” Nishinoya’s face lit up at first before falling. “But that’s surprising. With your grades, you could definitely get into some top high school here in Miyagi.”

“I’m going for the same reason as you.”

“The girl’s uniforms?”

“No,” Chiyo shot him a dirty look. “Because it’s close to home. And close to Hotaru and Kaito’s elementary school.”

There was a moment of silence before Nishinoya spoke again. “You know, I can always help you pick them up. Why don’t you aim for a better school?”

“It’s fine,” Chiyo shook her head. “I need to find a part-time job once I turn fifteen. Being at a better school will probably mean they have policies against it.”

“A part-time job?”

“Money’s been tight recently,” Chiyo shrugged. “Whatever highschool I end up at, I’ll just work hard to get into a good university on a scholarship. Then I’ll graduate and get a good job in the city that’ll make enough money to be happy and successful.”

Resting his chin in his hands, Nishinoya hummed. “That sounds so boring.”

Chiyo’s brows furrowed. “Well, I’m not like you. I don’t have the choice of becoming a professional volleyball player just because I’m good at it.”

“What do you mean?” Nishinoya looked her dead in the eyes. “I never said anything about wanting to be a pro volleyball player.”

“What?”

“I mean, I like playing volleyball and all. But even if I were to become good enough to go pro, I don’t think that’s what I wanna do in the future,” Nishinoya peered out the window, watching the fluffy clouds drift over their heads. “I wanna pack up all of my stuff and go somewhere far, far away. Go experience things I would never be able to here in Miyagi. A backpacking around the world, type thing. You know?”

“You’ll need a lot of money for that,” Chiyo frowned.

“Who says?” Nishinoya retorted her statement with a smile. “I’ll just save up a little, then go from there. If I’m short on money in some town, I’ll work at a local diner or something to rack up enough cash for my next adventures.”

He turned his attention back towards the sky and Chiyo followed his gaze, just in time to see a sparrow take off into the sun.

“Grandpa always told me that limits are whatever you put on yourself,” he said. “And I choose to make the sky my limit, so I can go as far as I want. I’m gonna do whatever I want and be the freest person in the world.”

At that moment, Chiyo felt entranced by him. Nishinoya looked so excited and unburdened, she was a little jealous. She wished she could think like that – that the world was her oyster and she could do anything she set her mind to.

But she was too afraid.

“Hey, look!” Suddenly, as if snapping out of a trance, Nishinoya jumped out of his seat with sparkling eyes. “The firework festival!” He pointed at a telephone pole out the window. Chiyo followed his finger and saw a brightly coloured poster, obnoxiously advertising the festival coming to Miyagi in a week’s time.

“Do you wanna go together? You know, just the two of us?”

Chiyo felt all the admiration she had for Nishinoya drain out of her body and her face returned to a disgruntled expression. She knew the implications of going to the festival alone together. And her answer was simple.

“In your dreams.”

“Ouch!” He laughed. “Shot down again.”

“Now focus on your work,” she tapped the top of his workbook as Nishinoya sat back down.

Shaking her head, Chiyo quickly tucked a few strands of her hair out of her face before turning her attention back to her workbook. She was about to move onto the next section when she felt Nishinoya’s gaze still lingering on her.

“What?” She asked, feeling herself grow a little self-conscious.

"I like you a lot, Amari." He said, a lovestruck grin dancing across his lips.

"I said focus!"

story masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

#haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x oc #hq #nishinoya #nishinoya x oc #nishinoya yuu #haikyuu x reader #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya x you #nishinoya x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #hq x reader

24 notes · View notes

qwuilty · 1 year

Text

How Postal 1 is a playable Tragedy and how Postal 2 followed with a Comedy after it. - A semi formal essay about the narrative and story beats of the beginning of Postal

That's right! This was not an april fool's joke! The only april fool here is me! It's an idea ive been brewing on for a while and it's probably very rambly, but such is life, i hope you enjoy it regardless <3

Before I begin this essay, I would like to clarify a few things.

One, I want to address right away that while I do try to be critical and non-biased on these sorts of discussions, due to my own personal attachments to specifically Postal 1 Dude, I don't think I will ever be able to make a fully unbiased view of him. Again, I will try my best to, but I hope pointing it out here will make it so you can decide if that’s something you’re okay with.

Secondly, while i will try to reign myself back a little and not just spew words at you here, i do tend to ramble a little and have trouble connecting points to other points, so if i do please forgive me there. This is meant to be a semi-formal essay, but still I am not a professional writer. Additionally, while i do this analysis of this series, i do not think it is what the creators intended, please do not take this as full canon and all. This is simply for fun and to recollect on the first two games of the series.

I hope you will understand, and with those disclaimers out of the way, we can begin with the essay.

We begin this essay with Postal (Which I will be calling Postal 1 for the sake of clarity, by the way), a PC-Rom game released in 1997 by the company Running With Scissors, originally published by Take Two Interactive before publishing moved over to Ripcord Interactive. The game was marketed to be intentionally provoking and intense. One example is through fictional interview quotes talking about how he seemed to be fine before the events of the game with a simple question below.

What went wrong?

With little more than that, a picture of an M-16, an invitation to find out at their website below, and a short talk about how to get the demo, it leaves a striking impression on the viewer and a burning curiosity to find out what did go wrong. Other advertisements for the game are similar in nature, being very eye-catching and intense to draw in the reader to want to see more.

Described by the studio as “The game every gamer wanted and no one else dared to make”, it’s very clear their intention was to bring you in with its more intense subject matter as this game that dared to go where no game had before, to either acclaim or great critical disgust. It is described by the promotional material as a psychological thriller, preparing the incoming viewer for the expectation this game would be intense.

From the advertisements though you can already get the idea there may be something else to this game, introducing Paradise as a town where everyone is out to get you (or are they?), and that whether it is Conspiracy or Insanity, you have no time to question, only to act. This narrative carries over to the game itself, as there is no formal introduction to a story given to the player unless they actively decide to read the manual included in the game’s case (or chose a higher difficulty in the remake, Postal Redux), you are more an outsider to what happens after you press play guiding the Dude through this hell.

However, I think to truly enjoy Postal 1, it is important to consider the journals themselves to get the inner perspective of your player character. Those who do not choose to may take the game at a more surface level with the “dark” cutscene texts and gorey gameplay then simply leave it behind, but the hidden story adds a whole extra level of depth and truly establishes Postal 1 as a tragedy.

To explain where I am coming from at that point, I would like to establish what makes a tragedy, specifically with Postal 1 being a Domestic Tragedy. (A tragedy in which the characters are middle-class or working-class people instead of nobility or rich people)

Aristotle’s tragic plot structure starts at the beginning, goes through action, leads to the realization of error, then goes through the falling action and emotional impact of it, eventually releasing the emotions of pity and fear through to the catharsis as the story ends and fear is removed.

While the game does not give much of an actual explanation of what happened in the Dude’s life before the events on October 17th, 1997 even in the diary entries that show his viewpoint, it’s easy to infer there was a rise even before then that he was not doing well mentally. He describes a rising paranoia, belief that the people there are sick, how “I hear gunshots, screams after dark. Now the phone calls, sayin’ i’m being thrown outta this house. My house.”, constantly arming himself with a sidearm and kevlar vest preparing for the incoming perceived impact that he ultimately makes reality.

From there we have our beginning, the game’s levels acting as the actions through the story that lead him on this journey through Arizona. Though initially he tries to find help and contact a sheriff, because he is seemingly so far gone, those efforts are in vain and his belief that everyone else is infected is reinforced. It separates him further from the people around him, believing that he is the only one who can save them from this sickness and that though the journey is bloody, it is for the good of mankind.

It’s likely at the beginning he intends to save them, but after a while, comes to the conclusion that the area is simply beyond saving, and that he needs to leave a scorched earth behind so he can warn those outside. His condition worsens the further the player goes, covered in blood, bullet wounds, body aching but unable to stop until he sees this desired resolution. As quoted from The Industrial Complex journal, “Too far to quit now. Whatever waits at the Base, I’m going to see it with my own eyes.” and from the Air Force Base as he tries to resolve himself to finish what he set out on, “Me or them. Can’t delay, can’t risk infection.”

Notably in the game’s manual there was no journal given for the ending cutscene in the original game, though I think the one for Redux is also fitting. “I’ve been here before. I know it. But… Something’s changed. Will they understand me? Forgive me? Is this where I find salvation?” One of the main things you’ll probably hear about relating to the differences of Postal 1 and Redux is the ending being changed.

In Postal 1, the game ends with the Dude making his way to an elementary school in a haze, the player no longer in control as he desperately tries to take aim at them, but nothing he does seems to affect them. Considering unfortunate tragedies in real life, this ending was changed for Redux, where instead the Dude walks up to the end of a church, watching as a coffin is lowered into the ground either alone on Easy to Medium or with two mourners on Hard to Nightmare, and the hostile count goes down from one to none as soon as it’s in the ground.

Either way, it ends with the Dude collapsing down to the floor, and the game finally ends with pictures of Dude in a hellish confinement and a voice speaking over top. The final speech talks about the stress of modern life before further mentioning how he had perceived himself as a hero against impossible odds, but in reality will now only ever be seen as a mad man who hurt hundreds, if not thousands of lives.

Some may say this ending is an anti-climax or a bad reward for the game, but i think through the lens of a tragedy, it is a perfect ending. Our ‘hero” through the entire game has kept himself standing because he thought he was doing the right thing, that his actions were horrible, but it would be justified by the good he was doing. He does not want them to writhe and suffer, the journey is a horrific nightmare, and there is no sense of pride or that he’s finally getting some kind of vengeance on those who wronged him. But he persists, he moves onwards because he so desperately wants to end this and stop the madness, one that only he sees as reality.

That is where we get the action, right after the Air Base is the Recognition, the point of realization that it was all for naught. In Postal 1, it’s likely this comes at the moment he realizes that he’s not doing anything to them, and unable to simply destroy this ‘threat’, he is forced to stop and think if he’s even been going against any threats at all. How far has he gone to the point he was going to harm innocent children? How many more innocents has he harmed? With Redux that realization is more up to interpretation, whether the casket is where he’s in after he dies and realizes that there’s no recognition of him after his death, or if it’s the last hostile he has to kill, only to realize even with them dead, the world around him has not gotten any better, only worse because of his actions.

The pity and fear comes from the moment inside the cutscenes, and from there the "catharsis", when he is ultimately institutionalized with no seen trial, no fanfare, and is given an analytical view from an off-screen doctor before the game ultimately ends. And again, I think for the game that Postal 1 is, it’s the perfect ending. Because truthfully, was there ever going to be any good ending for him after his collapse? The player either knows or discovers along with him that his journey was for nothing, he killed countless people including potentially civilians who had just happened to get caught in the crossfire, and the grand threat he fought against did not even exist. There are no heroes, there is no triumph, it was all for nothing, and now he is confined to a cell as several hundreds of families have to cope with the loss.

With all of this, I think Postal 1 Dude (and subsequently Postal Redux Dude) is a great tragic “hero” figure, as deep down he wants to do good for the world. If you take the advertisement interviews and hints from others as a sort of semi-canon, it’s implied he was doing good, he was kind to others and liked well enough, but likely due to an untreated and ignored illness began to fall in on himself into a paranoia so deep he could never crawl out. I hear a lot of the notion that he “snaps out of nowhere”, and that he’s just “crazy”, but I think that’s a gross oversimplification of his character.

Even in the moment of it all, he initially tried to go to a higher authority for help but found himself all alone to try and stop this ‘sickness’. His journey is his own personal burden, taken to try and stop anyone from being hurt, at the cost of his health and potentially his own life. But it’s also important to not just consider his intent, but the action caused afterwards.

Because while he did mean to save others, he still hurt hundreds of people. There are hundreds of families who will never see their partners, their siblings, their children, their friends, all because of one overzealous man who decided he was going to be humanity’s savior. Perhaps it is not just conspiracy or insanity, but instead the poor judgement of a man who truly believes he is doing right being guided along by an outside force who makes him see it through to the end.

In Postal 1, you are the audience to a grand scale tragedy, bringing a man on a journey through hell to a shallow grave where no one is saved, no one is cured, leaving you back on the title screen to think about what you’ve done to him and the people of Paradise.

In Postal 2 you can smoke crack and piss on people.

Okay, sorry for the whiplash, but I had to transition somehow.

After the release of Postal 1 and subsequent expansions, there was obviously a backlash as well as critical acclaim. The game was banned in several countries, Running With Scissors was personally given a letter by the USPS about the name, and it was pulled off the shelves of several stores. Many books about video game violence and newspapers talked about the game and admittedly got quite a lot about it wrong, like believing the Dude was an ex-postal service worker despite the game never saying so, that there was some sort of score based system for “killing as many innocent victims as possible while they begged for mercy” (Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill, Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano, Chapter Two, 1990s: Video Game Violence Increases.), not to mention how many were quick to try and pull a connection between it and horrific tragedies in real life.

(Quick unprofessional note, the amount of times i saw this one damn quote about a specific killer killing himself “JUST LIKE HOW YOU END LEVELS IN POSTAL!1!” despite that NOT being how you end levels in postal or even the game makes my head physically hurt.)

With this reception of Postal 1, it does make sense for Running With Scissors to decide to take a change of focus when they began work on Postal 2 after the cancellation of their next game, Flesh and Wire. While Postal 1 was more intense in tone and serious, Postal 2 was set to be much more parody focused and had a drastic shift in the appearance of the main character.

While Postal 1 Dude in the concept art and promotional image notably looked disheveled and scared, Postal 2 Dude felt more laid back, engaged in the chaos around him and able to dish it back just as hard. There’s a very noticeable shift even before the game came out, from a man huddled in the corner with a rifle or seemingly startled holding an M-16 (note, i'm pretty sure it is? I am not a gun person, sorry </3) to a man standing with his body facing the player, brandishing his rifle as chaos ensues behind him.

The town of Paradise goes through a similarly drastic change, from a somewhat toned down and realistic feeling environment made of cool and dark colors to a much more exaggerated parody of a small town in Arizona full of bright, warm colors. The game begins with a sweeping view of the town, passing by a road sign warning to “watch for psycho assholes”, a drunk man dancing in the streets as a cat falls asleep, a man is beat by a police officer, and the player can already see several satirical billboards on their way to Dude’s trailer.

The introduction to him is also drastically different, now speaking directly as he wakes up in his obviously run down trailer and gets into an argument with his wife about moving to Arizona to pay for his crack habit, the AC being broken (which he obviously doesn't make better by shooting at it), about chores until he makes his way out of the trailer and kicks away Champ, his car not working, and the Bitch reminding him to get her rocky road. This immediately sets up Dude in this game being much more cynical and snarky, someone who’s been chewed up and spit up by life, and now is dealing with a pretty rough morning.

The game itself follows a pretty similar tone, gone are the unsettling journals, the morality of it all, in this remodel of the series the game has effectively gone from Tragedy to Comedy. More specifically, I think Postal 2 falls under a Farce, which according to the Wordsmyth dictionary, is “a comedy that depends for its humor on quick and surprising turns of events and on exaggerated characters and situations, or the type of humor characteristic of such a play.”, which I feel is very fitting. Running With Scissors put more emphasis on physical comedy, slapstick yet still grotesque violence, bodily function humor, and of course, a lot of satire and parody of life at the time.

The game itself plays as if it were a comedy, each day functioning as a new act as the chores act as the separate jokes, returning jokes such as the Dude’s relationship with his wife and introducing new ones such as the incredibly zealous anti-book protestors burning down a library on Tuesday or the cannibalistic butchers of Thursday. The main sources of these jokes in the game come from two factors, that being the world around Postal Dude is insane and absurd but he still has to make it through each day somehow, and an extreme form of Murphy’s Law, in which anything that could go wrong will, and at the worst possible time.

The ability to make it through these insane events in one piece is what mainly separates Postal 2 Dude from Postal 1 Dude, as while Postal 1 Dude holds onto his sense of justice and morality in the horror he saw and ultimately ended up hurting himself and those around him, Postal 2 Dude is adaptable, able to keep his head above water and make it home despite it all. The game’s increase in the story’s conflict as each hate group begins to target Dude is still joking in nature, just another group of people who hate him and try to kill him on sight, but you’ve got errands to do so you just gotta deal with it.

The ultimate climax of this increasing rise of stakes leads to the final event of Friday, quite literally a full blown apocalypse (complete with a nod to Postal 1 on the newspaper about mind altering gasses and the military being involved) where cats and dogs rain from the sky and everyone and anyone is trying to kill each other, especially you.

It’s the final big obstacle as you book it back home, this massive hysteria that serves as the big crazy finale until you finally make it home and things shift back to a mundane that now becomes comedic in its own right. Dude returns home, having made it through figurative hell only to be reminded of a joke that comes full circle from the start, the fact he forgot the Rocky Road. The final joke ends with a loud gunshot, implying that while he could make it through all he’s been through that week, having to be there even a moment more made him decide he’d rather spend the night in a hospital or a grave.

In conclusion, the drastic difference between Postal 1 and Postal 2 is incredibly fascinating to me, especially through the lens of them as a traditional Tragedy and Comedy in video game format. While the series has leaned much more to comedy after the release of 2 and Redux did not do as well financially, i think it’s still interesting to look back at the beginning of the series and their adaptation of it later on to see how the Dude began.

From a desperate and hopeful but ultimately misguided self imposed martyr of humanity who was going to drag along as many as he needed to “save” those outside to a cynical and sarcastic man living in a trailer home making it through each progressively more crazy day to make it home and start a new day after that, you can fully feel the shift in tone from the soundtrack to the design to the gameplay of the games itself.

I do think it was probably for the best that Postal had turned more comedic as time went on, it seems to be more where Running With Scissors are able to fit their writing, however i still look back at Postal 1 very fondly and hope to see more of those tragedy elements come back for a bit in the jokes. It’s a compelling narrative and even if they say it has no story, i’ll always think the story it DOES have is very underrated.

Here’s to hoping for that Postal 4 weekend expansion?

#postal dude #postal 1 #postal 2 #character analysis #i included some drawings inbetween to break it up a little so its not all just words #i hope p2 looks okay i dont draw him as much as i do p1-#again i hope you all enjoy this ive been thinking about it very much #Postal 1 you may have no story according to others but you have all the story according to me <3

100 notes · View notes

riddle-me-ri · 1 year

Note

Alright so this is less romantic and more shitposty but. If I can request the scarecrows' responses to a gotham university psychology student showing up at his doorstep like "hey uh could you look at my thesis?" Like fully prepared to be fear toxin-ed on the spot but absolutely worth the risk cause lord knows that's some shit I'd do 💀

A/N: hnnggg this shouldn't have taken as long as it did but I kept taking it too seriously except for the absolute crack that it is lmao I have no doubt in reality it'd be a miracle if any of them opened the damn door.

Scarecrows Reacting To A Student Looking for Feedback (crack)

Arkhamverse Scarecrow:

First of all, how did you find him?

Secondly, how dare you disturb him?

Are you fearless or just foolishly stupid?

He genuinely can’t tell and he doesn’t want to waste time thinking about it.

However, since you’re here now…

And it doesn’t look like you’re going anywhere anytime soon.

Clearly, despite how many threats he’s shot your way.

He isn’t opposed to a willing test subject

Nolanverse/Murphy Scarecrow:

Well, this was odd.

If not also incredibly annoying.

When he hears your reason for being on his front stoop.

He is shocked…

Surely your institution has much more qualified, not to mention more relevant assistance to look over your paper.

He’s a man of science making headways, he has no time to–

Well, actually…he hasn’t seen very sufficient results in his recent Arkham patients…

BTAS Scarecrow:

Really? Him?

Even when he was a professor, none of his students came to him for a review.

No doubt he’s itching to just shut the door on you.

Then again, perhaps he can hold you ransom for some money to fund his toxin…

And on top of that he can also use you for testing the effects of his recent toxin…

How he could make it stronger, faster, last longer…

Besides, he’s never gotten a chance to properly review a term paper..

This should be fun.

TNBA Scarecrow:

He’s likely to ignore it, if not open it, yell at you and then slam the door.

This Scarecrow doesn’t have time for this nonsense.

Surely, you have other institutional superiors that you can go to?

Why would you willingly dive headfirst into danger?

Unless…you just don’t care?

If you’re so willing to get into danger, perhaps he should take advantage of it.

He debates with himself for a minute…

Before finally just gassing you with his toxin.

Taking sweet delight in your screams.

Fear State Scarecrow:

You should consider yourself lucky that he even answered the door.

Like seriously, the only reason he answered was because of your incessant knocking.

He had half a mind to slip on his mask and inject you with toxin and be done with it.

He’s far too busy planning his Fear State Theory into motion.

Jonathan can’t have any distractions or loose ends…

Everyone has their role to play, he was so sure that Gotham would enter it’s Fear State seamlessly.

Patience running low, he does open the door, and one threat is all you get.

When you don’t leave, it’s very much your fault that you’re screaming bloody murder down the street.

Year One Scarecrow:

Jonathan groans at the prospect.

His past sure has a strange way of following him somehow.

Again, you should be surprised he even answers the door.

But you kept pushing your paper underneath his front door.

Quite, infuriating him.

It takes a few more threats and slams of the door before he finally reaches his breaking point.

He slaps on his mask, believing he’s done all he could to be rid of you.

Perhaps, a reminder will help you.

He’s no professor, a scholar on fear.

He’s The Scarecrow, the Master of Fear…and you’ve just experienced his wrath as you breathe in the toxic fumes.

Masters of Fear Scarecrow:

Jonathan is confused, if not also agitated.

Is this some kind of joke?

His lived a long pathetic life of humiliation…

He doesn’t need it coming to him, knocking at his front door.

You can’t just expect anyone with a PhD is willing to help you…

What kind of simpleton just walks up to a known high-class criminal, a criminally insane criminal?

Honestly, when spoken like that, it was quite admirable.

Took a lot of courage…bravery…or just a huge lack of common sense.

Yes, yes, he’ll take a look, but first…indulge him in your fears

(it’ll help him in his own research later)

HQ:TAS Scarecrow:

Jonathan thinks this must be some kind of joke.

Surely, this is the Legion pulling his leg, what else could it be?

Not only that, how else would you found out where he lived?

It has to be a joke.

He tries to play along, but is quick to realize you’re actually being serious.

Probably the only one that’s actually going to help you with your thesis paper.

1000/10 would recommend

And you may even get a member of the Legion of Doom as a friend.

HHSD Scarecrow:

I’m surprised Grandpa could hear you knocking.

Just kidding, only a little, I love to love and rag on this version when I can.

But you really shouldn’t have picked a night when there were Elvira re-runs.

Jonathan opens the door, reluctantly and is perplexed, but immediately annoyed.

He didn’t have time for these things when he WAS a professor.

He thought he left this type of harassment years ago, why do you choose to haunt him now with it?

When you fail to leave on your own accord. He advises you to go away through a speaker by his door.

When you still refuse, he decides enough is enough.

Jonathan was inspired by that intriguing night at Crystal Cove, as he used a maniacal jack-al-lantern of his own to run you off.

#ri writes #the scarecrow #jonathan crane #arkhamverse scarecrow #nolanverse scarecrow #murphy scarecrow #btas scarecros #tnba scarecrow #fear state scarecrow #year one scarecrow #masters of fear scarecrow #harley quinn the animated series scarecrow #hqtas scarecrow #happy halloween scooby doo scarecrow #hhsd scarecrow #crack headcanons

82 notes · View notes

eliyips · 8 months

Note

HI HELLO

First of all

*eating your X design for breakfast*

Amazing, beautiful, perfectly dork shaped, love it. (and I did not go though your blog and read every single post you made about him and his design and why you draw him the way you draw, you are imagining things surely/sarcasm)

Secondly AMMA STEAL IT. And Use It. And maybe add some of mine, but DEMN you did sooo good, that's like canon in my head now!

And third thing... You rebuild a part of the dungeon. For a drawing?? And Then painted over it??????? That's insane!!! You are insane??? I mean huge respect, That kind of dedication.... woah

And last thing: *om nom noms all of your art, why so tasty*

HELLO HI :D

Ahhh thank you for the very kind message!!! always makes me so happy to hear that people like my Xisuma design <3 absolutely feel free to steal him, I'm flattered to have people taking inspiration from my designs!

YES, I did rebuild a tiny piece of Decked Out for my drawing! It may sound a little off the walls, but i promise you, it was 100% necessary. /sarcasm

Seriously though, even if it was a bit extra, it was actually pretty easy to build the set, all considered - only took maybe an hour? I wasn't stressed about getting every detail right, so it was honestly pretty relaxing! And I think it was totally worth it for the result I got :D Here's a couple other angles of the set, to give you an idea of what all I did (ft. me, cosplaying as Xisuma)

Honestly, the most difficult part about this was figuring out the lighting! I ended up breaking a hole in the wall I had built around it, to allow the moonlight to illuminate the set, and get that nice blue glow. I had originally planned to use soul lanterns for the blue light, but soul lanterns / campfires glow orange instead of blue in all the shaders I found and liked :')

I took these screenshots with Sidurs Vibrant Shaders. I tried Kappa as well, for the colored lighting, but was pretty dissatisfied with it, besides the colored lights. I usually use BSL Shaders when playing, but I felt like the more saturated look of Sidurs was more appropriate here! :)

Here's something I didn't mention about the screenshots in the original post: something which was super helpful while drawing was having these screenshots of Tango and Xisuma's skins, taken in the same spot on the set where I planned to draw them. It gave me a really good reference point for the base colors, though of course, i had to adjust somewhat to better fit my designs for them :) Makes me curious what I could do if made versions of these skins that better matched my designs. Could be super useful for color reference in future drawings!

Anyways, thanks again for your very kind message!!! <3 hope that my rambling about Minecraft screenshots was of interest :D

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #mcyt #xisumavoid #xisuma #character design #tango #tangotek #art process #askeliyips #cosplaying xisuma who himself is cosplaying doomguy #call that cosplay-ception

33 notes · View notes

annalu86 · 1 year

Text

Lucy’s birthday

Now Tim couldn’t claim to have been planning the day for months, but he certainly had put more effort into organising Lucy’s upcoming birthday than he had put into anyone else’s for a very long time.

Firstly, months before the day itself, he had cashed in a couple of favours to ensure that both he and Lucy had the day off together. He’d also been sure to confirm that neither of them would be put on the early shift the following day, Tim’s eye for details ensuring no one had to be in bed before 8pm. Unless they wanted to.

Secondly, he’d thought about Lucy’s ideal day. Not a fancy, extravagant day, the kind of day that leaves you smiling and content as you drift off to sleep. Of course that meant starting the day off with a long hike with Kujo. He searched online for the best routes and hikes with incredible views. Closer to the day he’d put in an order at one of Lucy’s favourite bakeries. All they would have to do is swing past on their way out and pick up a box of all of Lucy’s favourite treats for the walk.

He had considered booking a table somewhere fancy for a late lunch, after their hike. But the thought of them getting back to his, showering and then sprawling out on the sofa, listening to true crime podcasts, picking at whatever there was in the fridge. Maybe she’d lay her head on his chest, he would play with her hair, maybe they’d nap. Probably Lucy would excitedly jab at him when she was sure they case was heading in the wrong direction, probably Lucy’s rants would drown out the narrator and they’d have to go back and listen to sections over and over, probably he’d love it either way.

Thirdly, he text Tamara. There was no way Lucy’s relaxing dream day wouldn’t include her best friend/roommate/daughter. The only person, besides him, that he could guarantee Lucy would actually want to spend time with on her birthday. He tasked Tamara with the final portion of the day, which restaurant would Lucy most like to visit for dinner.

He knew there was no point him asking. They ate out a lot, often after a long shift the last thing either of them wanted to do was cook. They had their favourites, their regular spots but he wanted to know what strange or exotic trend had emerged that Lucy just had to try.

He knew if he asked her where she wanted to try, Lucy would temper her answer to his less, adventurous tastes. Also with just over a month to her birthday, it would be a sure give away. But for Tamara, who had no chance of being able to afford a fancy restaurant, it was simply a conversation about a hypothetical meal. Tamara, of course came up trumps. One evening, when he was staying over at Lucy’s Tim knocked on Tamara’s door whilst Lucy was out picking up some sushi. Tamara was surprised to find an eager faced Tim when she opened the door. He excitedly informed her he had secured a table at Lucy’s preferred restaurant for 7:30pm. Did that work for her? Tamara had blinked at Tim, he asked again. Did she want picking up on their way through or would she meet them their? Did she think it would be better to bring Lucy back here at say 6 to get ready, so the two women could get ready together. Tamara had never been that much of a hugger, though she had definitely got more comfortable with it living with Lucy, but the urge to hug Tim was strong. She kept it in check, it would ultimately have made them both feel so uncomfortable! Tim could see in Tamara’s eyes just how much the gesture of including her had meant. They were a family now, with Lucy firmly at the centre.

With the day planned Tim turned to the gift. He’d bought her a necklace for Valentine’s Day, given their jobs he didn’t see much point giving her lots of jewellery she couldn’t wear most of the day. He loved her style, but his favourite thing was the range of fabrics and textures Lucy wore. Lucy was soft and fluffy, or smooth and silky, flowing and effortless. He unapologetically used her clothes as an excuse to touch her. To run his hand across the small of her back feeling the delicate wool beneath his fingers, or letting those fingers trail along her thigh feeling the silk of her skirt glide effortlessly underneath them. No, clothing he would leave for her to pick.

When he thought about what Lucy really wanted, he let his mind move in an even more selfish direction. Somehow, miraculously, against all odds, his gruffness and sharp edges, she wanted him. Time with him. Just being together, undisturbed by bomb threats, car chases, hostage situations and rogue helicopters. So he researches weekend trips and settles on a cabin in sequoia national park. No date yet in mind, he’ll consult Lucy herself on that one as he knows it’ll be harder to arrange. Tim thinks of the car ride, one hand on her knee as he drives, the windows down, fresh air peace and quiet. And each other.

Finally, Tim smiles to himself as he writes in her birthday card.

To Lucy

Happy Birthday

With all my love

Tim

#chenford #chenford fanfic #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie #happy birthday #who knows where this goes in the timeline!#shall I write the actual day or write lucy planning Tim’s?

93 notes · View notes

johaerys-writes · 2 months

Note

About that post of yours about people getting upset about Patroclus and Achilles being seen romantically, I've seen every single thing that made me so "wtf?"

I've seen them use the justification that they're cousins, from some sources. This doesn't make sense bc cousins getting along in Ancient Greece wasn't all that fuss, it's not like they were brothers! And they're cousins once removed…Orestes and Hermione are first cousins and no one finds it strange!

I've seen people use the justification that Achilles is married (Deidamia). Firstly, it depends on the source, secondly…he still has Briseis? There are sources that there are Briseis and OTHER characters (e.g. Polixena). Even in the sources where he's married, that doesn't stop him from doing anything. Not only Achilles but other characters! Agamemnon has been married for years and had Chryseis and Cassandra. Odysseus is married and his lovers vary with sources. Even before Helen was kidnapped, Menelaus already had a child with another woman. "Ah, but he would still prefer Deidamia, just as Odysseus and Menelaus still preferred Penelope and Helen" well, Agamemnon explicitly states that he prefers Chryseis, and Jason preferred Creusa over Medea…maybe we can assume that different characters are different characters!

I've seen people use the justification that both he and Patroclus had slaves… which, again, doesn't change anything. Again, married men had slaves, I don't know why we're pretending otherwise. Having a slave does not prevent having other relationships, after all, not even a legitimate wife prevents it (or married men wouldn't have bed slaves in the first place). "Ah, but that shows they like women in mythology!"…yeah…but well, some people like more than one gender. That still doesn't rule anything out, I don't see where we're going!

I've seen people explain that it's bc this is something modern… which isn't, there were already romantic interpretations of them in antiquity (Aeschylus, hello? Plato?). But then you point that out and they say "well, but it's not Homer" but then they bring up things like Polyxena and Penthesilea as proof and…their myths with Achilles aren't Homeric! And then they say it's not one of the explicitly declared couples…which, again, doesn't stop anything?? Even more so bc one of the people I saw saying this shipped two characters who never had any romantic text or subtext so it's a walking contradiction!

And even with this "explicit couples" thing, I've seen people talk about a vibe like "oh why focus on Patrochilles, which isn't even canon when there's Apollo x Hyacintus" and I'm still trying to find WHAT is the similarity between these two ships besides being between two male characters. Not even tragedy can be considered a determining factor since tragic couples are not exactly rare in mythology…like, oh tragic couple, so Megara x Heracles is the same too! C'mon, guys! I got the impression that these people have the idea that the ship only exists bc it's MLM and, therefore, any MLM ship plays the role even when the dynamics AREN'T the same…

Or they'll say "the fans make them into a straight stereotype of rigid gender roles", which if you go to the Ao3 tag and read the fics is easily refuted! Especially for Achilles, who depending on the fic isn't even a perisex cis man. But they really don't know the majority preferences of shippers bc e.g there's an idea that absolutely everyone is strictly bottom Pat x top Achilles bc "furious warrior Achilles" and "cool guy Patroclus"… which's funny bc it couldn't be further from reality! And the same person who says this has a ship with strict gender roles, for the love of god!

Even if the ship were canonically impossible… well, hcs exist! As a kid, I watched Naruto and thought Ino x Sakura was very cute, but that doesn't mean I DIDN'T notice that the canon couple was going to be Sakura x Sasuke. It looks like they've never seen shipping before, my god!

Finally: I left the most absurd for last. This wasn't on Tumblr, it was on another social network. Basically, user kind of texted something like "of course you like Patroclus x Achilles, you're not Greek!" And I'm still trying to understand the relationship between someone being Greek and someone liking or not liking a ship. Could it be that in the documents that ask for nationality, if you put "Greek" a questionnaire appears asking you if you ship Patrochilles and if you click "yes" you are taken for falsifying your nationality or something like that?

P.S.: You don't even need to answer this ask. I really just needed to comment on this nonsense, and my friends aren't mythology fans, so here we are!

Okay so I'm just over here nodding aggressively to a lot of things you said, I know you said I don't need to reply to this but let me just add a couple thoughts:

1. Seriously the cousin thing is laughable to me, like who cares who CARES!! Literally it doesn't even matter, not only were romantic relationships btwn cousins not that big a deal in ancient greek works and mythology but also there are so many literary works written before the 20-21st century that feature cousins falling in love, like in the realm of fiction at least it isn't the big and shocking thing the antis think it is, and it hasn't been for centuries, I don’t get why people get so worked up about that...... it doesn’t even count as an argument, moving on

2. People saying that Achilles can't possibly be queer because he sleeps with women and has a son etc etc..... I feel like they’re missing the point, because the thing about Achilles, in my opinion, isn't whether he’s gay or not, or even if he’s bi or not. Those neat little categories are a relatively modern invention I think, and I don’t think that any ancient person would identify as gay or straight or what have you. In some places being a little too close with your buddies (or your students, particularly young male students --athens i'm looking at you--) was a thing, in some others it wasn't, but it wasn't part of their identity like it is now, ykwim? So I think it's pointless to try to put Achilles and Patroclus in those boxes, many people have tried it and it doesn't work. Achilles may have a son with Deidamia but he doesn’t mention her in the Iliad not even once, he cares about Briseis and in the text he lies/sleeps with her but he wouldn’t stop Agamemnon's men from taking her nor would he return to the fighting for her, his relationship with or feelings for the women he sleeps/has slept with doesn't really affect his behaviour. It is Patroclus who he has the emotional bond with, Patroclus who convinces him to do something other than sulk in his camp, Patroclus whom Achilles values above all, Patroclus's death that changes the trajectory of the war and Achilles' own life. The bond between Achilles and Patroclus has cataclysmic consequences for all the Achaens and the Trojans, no other woman in Achilles' life comes close to what he has with Pat.

So like..... that's what's important here. Achilles could have slept with a thousand women and Patroclus with a thousand more and it wouldn't matter. I'm not here to argue whether they were exclusive or not sexually speaking, that's irrelevant and frankly I don't care. I also can't comment on Achilles x Polyxena or Penthesilea I'm not very familiar with those myths and they aren't even Iliad canon anyway so who cares. People have been writing fanfic about him for centuries, what's new.

3. As for the rest of the arguments against Patrochilles I have to admit I stay as far away from drama as I can so I don't really know what is being said online about them. The things you're saying honestly sound like toxic fandom behaviour and antis being at it for no goddamn reason. I'm not even going to respond to that because again, I don’t think there is anything to say. People can ship what they want and headcanon Achilles and Pat boinking any which way they want as long as they leave me alone lmao. Like as long as they don't come to my ask box or ao3 comments with dumbass or exclusionary views (or if Tumblr doesn't decide to spam me with them) then I'm good. I'm definitely not going to go looking for those views on Tumblr or elsewhere.

4. Honestly I didn't even know racism had been brought into this LMAO like I was not familiar with the take that if you're Greek you can't like Patroclus/Achilles. Like.... why is that? Why wouldn't a Greek person like Patrochilles? Do Greeks not have good taste then? I don't get it. Maybe it's because the Iliad is so deeply rooted into ancient greek culture and we learn about it in school or what not, so like it has to be this sacred thing that no one can touch/spoil? For me, shipping ancient dudes is the best way to actually learn a thing or two about history and literature and what have you LOL like I care so much more about the Iliad now than I did in high school. The sad thing is that I feel like if I ever told people irl that I ship Patrochilles they would first be baffled and then probably appalled lmao I can't even imagine their reaction if they ever saw the Patrochilles shrine I keep in my study 😂 Homophobia is a big thing here sadly, and I personally know people who would literally fight anyone who says that mlm was a thing in ancient Greece (because as we know the ancient greeks were the pinnacle of perfection and wisdom and the gays now just want to ruin that 🙄). I'll never forget my high school ancient greek teacher going into a whole rant about it for an hour, and also the school textbooks we had themselves were so heavily censored. It's just such a sad way to be if you ask me, both because you're a fucking homophobe but also you're missing out on so much of the nuance of this culture that you're supposed to "revere", it's always been super baffling to me.

Anyway this rant got away from me so I'll just stop here lmao. At the end of the day I think people will just say whatever they want about whatever they want, I sometimes also get upset and hurt by those dumb takes but it's really not worth it. I try to stay in my lane and block liberally and nerd out with like minded people and I think that's what life/fandom is about, you know

#tw: racism #tw: homophobia #fandom wankery

7 notes · View notes

roadandruingame · 1 month

Text

RaR Musings #20: Exertion Sucks

It does!

It's not that it doesn't work, it does, but it's simply not much fun as a game.

It commits two cardinal sins of game design, especially for ttrpgs. First, it's a lot of bookkeeping. A resource tool that you dip into every turn, and can recoup based on proficiency in the action you were doing, recover passively each span of time, and inflicts penalties based on threshold, is a rollercoaster of up-and-down values to write and erase on your little scrap of paper. It'd be fine for a videogame, but NOT for a pen and paper game.

Secondly, as a negative penalty, players might dip below the first threshold, "uh oh! You have a penalty for being worn out, tee hee, but rest and you can be okay again!" But then over time, they don't be okay again. In fact, they dip below the next threshold, and the next, and the next, as they get progressively more exhausted. Again, this sounds great, and does exactly what I want it to (that is, wearing a character out over the course of a day, in such a way that they retreat to recover or commit to great risk, and feel sore the next day even). But when there's a penalty in play more often than there isn't, it doesn't feel good. Players notoriously "forget" any mechanic that doesn't benefit them in some way, and the more fun they're having, the less mechanics they'll remember, as they get swept up in the whirl of make-believe, and the time between "I think of a thing" and "I say the thing" gets shorter and shorter. Reminding them about this penalty they have to add on kills the mood.

These two things also have the added benefit of punishing players later on for mistakes they made earlier, making it difficult for them to correlate the Cause and Effect of their mistakes, failure being the result of Death By A Thousand Cuts. A new player might blow all their resources in the first ten seconds, only to be told they need to suck for the rest of the game; Gloomhaven showed me that in real time, as more than half the intros I ran had players fail to realize the game wasn't just the one room, but a second room, and even a third. Almost all of those games, and even my own intro to the game, resulted in they, and I, becoming exhausted before the dungeon was over, and when you're out, you're out, wait for the other players to finish cleaning up.

______________

I recall what I'd said in Musings #11, about the stress mechanic that progressively inhibits player agency over time, flipping into a bravery/enablement system. Players would be commended for their bravery if they took a chance and lost, and celebrated if they took a chance and won. I figure I should take my own advice, and consider how to design a decay system in such a way that feels natural to play, even if it means inhibiting action somehow.

But like I say there, I'm fiercely against the attitude of Killing Your Darlings. If a system sounds cool, but isn't, chances are it was just implemented wrong, rather than the idea itself being unsalvageable.

Exertion, as a system, should observe a few important factors.

This is the resource that heroes, athletes, and acrobats use. Whatever it ends up being, wizards and wordsmiths shouldn't benefit the same way, or as much.

Proficiency should have some kind of interaction with recovery. Characters doing what they're good at should be able to do it essentially all day, but with a range of 0-10 potential proficiency points, and specialization stacks on top of that, what value is there for jack of all trades?

Excessive exertion should carry to the next day, especially for those weak or unused to hard labor. Just because you fight a dragon today, doesn't mean you can fight one every day in a row.

Character should run the risk of getting tired mid-combat, creating a vulnerability to strike at, and rewarding cautious play.

I considered a dice pool system, where you commit bonus dice from a resource pool in a bid to roll higher numbers. I hate dice pool/count highest systems, because they're slow, but mostly because they're inconsistent. This system might have worked for the Xd10, add-up-and-divide system from before, but doesn't really work for the 1d10 Outcome system I'm pivoting to. It's also Death By A Thousand Cuts, as the math and value of an extra die doesn't mean a whole lot to a player not aware of the statistics. World of Darkness uses a system like this, with their Willpower resource pool, where spending a point of Willpower gives you three extra dice; with a 30% of a "success" per die, three die essentially equates to one extra success, +/- 1. But because the dice are rolled in isolation, not sequence, that just means 30%, three times, not 90%. The system is meant to evoke the feeling of slowly losing morale, but more often than not, players forget they even have the resource at all, since most of their dice rolls succeed, even without some extra help. There's also no penalty for low or no Willpower remaining, or a consistent way to lose Willpower outside of spending it, but lots of methods for gaining some or even all of it back, so at the end of the day, it doesn't really feel particularly impactful.

I could make Exerting a numerical bonus, but even that's inconsistent. The d10 Outcome system already benefits enormously from proficiency and specialization, and there isn't a lot of room for bonus numbers, flat or randomly generated. Maybe that's a difficulty with proficiency, and I should revisit that, but no: simply adding numbers isn't a memorable mechanc.

I could rejig all the math of the game, so that you outright suck if you DON'T exert yourself. 'Exhausted' could be the default state, and you spend Exertion dice to not suck, thus becoming 'exhausted' if you ever run out. But I also don't look forward to the notion of blanket-applying a "you suck" modifier to the entire game's math just to justify it. Players won't understand why the numbers seem so low, even if you tell them it's to make Exertion make the numbers high. But do I really want Exertion to be the deciding factor for a skill's success, not proficiency? And would I have to split the math, so that it only applies to Physical actions, or would Mental and Social be under the same you-suck blanket, and have to rely on a Physical resource? That sounds even worse.

So, let's break this down a little. Players should be capable of three, not necessarily separate states:

Normal. With only proficiency and specialization to influence their odds.

Exerting. Using up a limited resource, in order to amplify or increase their odds.

Exhausted. Something should happen if they run out of Exertion, or are asked to spend some and no longer have any.

Resting. I lied, there are four states. Not exerting yourself, but in a state of rest that allows you to recover faster, or at all.

Based on that, maybe we use a +/0/- binary state. Neutral, exertion +, tiring -.

_________

After thinking about it a lot, I think this is probably the best play.

Characters get an Exertion pool based on either their physical Endurance attribute, or the sum of three physical attributes, as before. The pool is 10x the value, so if human Endurance is 2-3, we're looking at 20-30.

"Exerting" is a purchase state: you spend 10 points, and are allowed to roll a physical-based die roll again, taking the higher value, as a positive state.

This means that "exhausted" is a neutral state, where you have no more Exertion left to spend.

Inversely, a "tiring" action is anything that should wear you out, especially being done repetitively or with great strain. This forces a second roll, taking the lower value of the two, with a +5 Difficulty penalty. If an action only becomes tiring when done for a long time, this can come into play the second round the action is active. Exerting yourself neutralizes both the dice roll and the extra difficulty.

This means that performing a tiring action is a negative state. While there's nothing forcing a character to spend Exertion, the positive state, to neutralize the negative state, it does SUBSTANTIALLY reduce the likelihood of success while proficient, and makes it just about impossible without skill.

When you take one round to do nothing but recover, a Breather, you recover points equal to your proficiency for each die you spent over the span. If you had Proficiency3+Proficiency5, you would recover 8 points on every 10 you spent.

I want to have some kind of At Rest state, where you recover faster than the passive recovery over time, but it creates this kind of inverse math that I don't like. Like, if you recover 1pt/4hr Span, but can roll one Endurance die per span resting, then an END1 character recovers 6+1d10 per day, whereas an END3 character recovers 6+3d10 per day. On paper, that looks like recovering more for having a higher endurance, but it's actually proportionally less than the END1 character, who recovers 100% most of the time, but can only exert themselves once per day; the END3 character only statistically recovers a little over half per day resting, and while that means they get more exertions back than the other character, it doesn't FEEL like you do.

_________________

Making another post about that proficiency junk.

#indie ttrpg #road and ruin #ttrpg #ttrpg design

5 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 5 months

Note

What's you opinion on the colby and mlp drama? I see some fans are mad at him for "breaking her heart", cause the poor girl was waiting around for 8 years in the hopes of him finally making her his girlfriend and he has the audacity to date another girl. For all we know they're never been in a committed relationship.Her fans should be encouraging her to finally getting over him and move on.

i've gotten an ask about this before, a week or so back. i was against commenting on it just bc i don't want to give mlp the time of day. but as things have slowly played out, via her and her fans… i don't really feel the need to stay silent on it.

there's a lot i'm probably gonna say, so this will most likely be a very long post lol

and to those of you that hate-read the shit i post - especially since you like mlp so much - i ask you kindly to read completely thru. i know that's a lot, but please consider doing it, especially before you send in an ask calling me a "dick rider" for colby just bc i don't immediately say he's a slut and a douchebag for breaking her heart :)

i'm gonna give the briefest of rundowns for those that don't know.

first off, if you want to know how i feel about mlp, here is an ask i answered a while ago detailing most (if not all) of the shit she has done over the years.

secondly tbh, i never understood her relationship with colby. sure, they were always weirdly flirty, seemingly in a will-they-won't-they type of thing. but her livestreams have painted an ENTIRELY different picture. one that paints her as a bit…. unhinged, imo. he doesn't look great either, but i'll get into it.

now, what has been happening recently: i pop in occasionally to her streams but for the most part i steer clear bc she annoys me too much. i have friends that tell me everything, plus you guys. but i have witnessed some stuff with my own two eyes. when she first started streaming, she was NONSTOP talking about colby. answered any and all questions about him, how they were super close, talked about adventure buddies, said all the good poems in her book are about him, even saying she was gonna have him on at some point soon. and she was gonna have him in videos soon as well.

as you have pointed out, anon, her fans are mad that he "broke her heart" but how that became "reality", so to speak, stems from this: her sister asked her what she was doing for nye, and mlp said she had no plans bc "no one asked her yet" to do anything. fast forward to after colby's bday, aka around the time the pics of him and m leaked, and suddenly mlp is not streaming.

the stream she did a couple days after colby's bday is a new level of crazy i haven't seen from her bc she just aired it ALL out. and even if she didn't do that, her fans with their big ass mouths on twitter, insta, and tiktok, have been doing it for her.

she explained to her chat that she just went thru a breakup, basically. that it was an eight/nine year long situationship that was on and off again…. interestingly, her and colby have been friends since 2015. which would be…. eight/nine years.

very clearly, she is talking about colby, without saying his name.

now, there was someone in chat that said something about situationships, someone else asked what a situationship is, and the person replied with "a sexual relationship but with no commitment" or something vaguely like that. mlp immediately said "oh that's not what i had."

………so, you're telling me that whatever went on between the two of them….. wasn't sexual…. at all??? maybe i don't understand what a situationship is then, bc i was under the impression that the SEX PART was kinda the whole point. otherwise…. you just kinda have a friendship. an emotional situationship is just not a thing lol

even tho she kept telling her chat "i can't talk about this", she just kept going. she said that la changes ppl, that she thought they were on the same page for years and then all of sudden things took a turn. she thought she knew him well bc she was so close to him for so long. she can't talk about it publicly bc it's "too obvious" and she has to stay offline bc it's all on social media (which really just… seals the deal that it's about colby lol). she said she cried in his face and he said nothing. she also, verbatim, said "it's like one week you're their everything and then the next they want to go party and be with crazy girls and i'm not crazy" which…. cmon girl. you might as well have said m's name atp.

now, with all of this out of the way… how do i personally feel about this, since my opinion is so valid lol jk

for years, mlp has made it her mission to plant the seeds thru out the fandom that her and colby were secretly dating behind the scenes. that they had something going on but "oh guys, i can't talk about it ;)", playing coy and never outright shutting down the rumors. i have literal ss from her fan accounts saying "you guys don't know the truth. of course colby would never tell the full story" and shit like that. these are fans that fully were in GROUP CHATS with her for years, listening to her every word. so it's very clear to me she was telling them directly what was going on.

or at least the good parts - that her and colby were a thing.

but colby CONSISTENTLY has said time and time again that he is single, that he is not looking for a gf, that he hasn't had one since 2016, that he hasn't met someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. he has said all of that to us for YEARS. now, unless bts he was saying to mlp "oh baby, you know i'm just lying to the fans" that is the ONLY WAY he would be completely in the wrong here. regardless, colby has been seen publicly with girls so. many. times. mlp has been called out for liking edits making fun of said girls! she's also been rumored to be his guard dog, to loom over him, that he needs to "keep his bitch on a lease" - and the ppl who said this were the girls that were fucking with him. so she isn't in the dark that he is with other ppl.

and again, a situationship is NONCOMMITTAL. that means they aren't dedicated to each other. she herself has been with other guys, she admitted that. so why is it colby is the asshole here?

her fans are claiming that he flaked on her, that he chose m over her….. babes, that's not how this works. first off, again - noncommittal. these are the terms and conditions they BOTH agreed to. they have been playing this cat and mouse game since like 2016. nothing about their relationship has changed since then, let's be honest here. secondly, she literally said out loud "no one has asked me" aka COLBY DIDN'T MAKE PLANS WITH HER. so, he can't flake on someone he didn't make plans with. and this is no shade to mlp - but she doesn't drink, she doesn't party. colby for years has always been a partier. what exactly was he supposed to do with her on nye???? i'm not saying that to be mean. i say this as someone who is a wallflower, a stick in the mud, a prude, a straight-edge, ect ect. i haven't partied since i was in my early 20s. i get the lifestyle she has. i'm just saying realistically, of course he's not gonna want to hang out with her on one of the biggest nights to party.

now, all of this is not to say that she is the only one that did wrong in this situationship. colby should have said something long before now. but he liked that she emotionally supported him, he liked he could rely on her for his emotional needs to be fulfilled. he should have realized how deeply into him she was. he should have cut the chord long before things got to what they are today. but to bring it back to mlp, since this is about her mostly - she is 30. THIRTY. she has been playing this game since her early 20s. she knew what she signed up for. they haven't even had sex. with all that deep emotional bond shit they had going on - they never got intimate in that way. and clearly, she never had a problem with it. until now.

i think for the entirety of their relationship, mlp knew at the drop of a hat colby would come running to her - and vice versa. i think this is the ONE TIME he chose someone else over her. that, tied with the fact that she was making all these promises of him being in her content - videos, her documentary, streams - she NEEDED colby to say yes to all of this. and maybe he said yes, but then changed his mind. maybe he said he was too busy, and when she found out what he was busy with (hanging out with m on nye), it finally clicked that he was not into her like she was into him. even tho as a fan that has been obvious for years now.

and while i don't like mlp, i don't wish her harm. i don't wish her to be heart broken or sad. i know exactly what she is going thru. all of my dating experience has been unrequited love. i get it. trust me. however, you can't play innocent and naive. you knew what colby was doing all this time. and sure, he's a dick for not stopping this sooner. but you clearly knew what was up - YOU COULD HAVE LEFT. you had years, eight years in fact, to leave at any point. but you accepted what you could get, and you milked it for all it was worth. not to mention, but how did you expect him to want to be with you when you are in gcs with his minor fans talking about him constantly??? that man likes to keep things private, and you were basically shouting it from the rooftops.

not only that, but you played the fun game of shitting on any girl he was friends with or hooking up with. and only apologized when you got called out for it. and then tried to play the whole "i'm all for women supporting women" bs. let's be real honest, cards on the table - you only support women when you deem them as nonthreatening. the moment a woman is competition to you, especially in regards to getting attention from colby, you shit on them. bc you're scared. you're scared he will choose them over you.

also this doesn't even take into the fact that why would you want him to date you at this point when he has made it clear he doesn't like you like that? you want him to lie and pretend to be into you?

all of this being said, while i do have some sympathy for her, i also really don't. and the reason for it is bc she LIES. she egregiously lies, and has done it multiple times in her live streams (and obviously for years now).

here's two main ones, off the top of my head: one, she said she doesn't who corey scherer is…… besides the fact that apparently she has been in colby's life since basically corey was there, i find it hard to believe she doesn't know who he is. one reason is bc she used to go over to the old trap house. she 100% met him. and you know why i know this? reason number two, SHE IS IN THE BACKGROUND OF ONE OF COREY'S VIDEOS. she is there, sitting next colby. watching corey do something goofy for his vlog. why she would lie about this, idk.

two, and this is a bit of a weird one, she said she doesn't like zoos. she said bc she's vegan, zoos make her upset and cry and that she wants animals to be free or whatever. okay, hey, that's valid. and you might be like "how is this a lie?" well, back in september, when snc were in hot topic. she went with colby to said store. you know what they did after that (maybe even before)? THEY WENT TO A ZOO. i got the video clips of her giggling with colby over a capybara. the last time she seemingly hung out with him publicly was THEM GOING TO A ZOO. when she answered this question on stream, i was confused. bc she literally was just at a zoo with colby. so why lie??

she doesn't even benefit from lying about this shit. so what is the point?

and the reason why a lot of this deeply pisses me off is bc of how two faced these fans of hers (and colby's) are. in chat, she will have ppl kissing her ass, saying colby is a shitty guy. he's emo trash, he's a douche, they want beat the shit out of him from breaking her heart. he's a slut, and they even trash m. all that. but then, weirdly, on twitter and on xplrclub these same exact fans are begging, PLEADING, for colby to give them a crumb of attention. making edits of him, buying the merch, tagging him relentlessly. so… which is it? is he a dickhead, or is he this swell guy you want to have say your name in chat? pick a fucking lane.

okay. i'm done now :) lol

#ask #personal #cb ll #no seriously this is very long #grab a snack or something

18 notes · View notes

bryony-rebb · 1 year

Text

Noin the doormat

I’ve been thinking about this increasingly the last few years. When I was in high school I definitely considered Noin to be a bit of a doormat -- a doormat I was very fond of, but still in a way where I was like ‘ugh, why did they have to make her like that’. But you know... the older I get, the less I see her in this light.

For me at least, I think a lot of my perception was tied up in that anecdote we get about how she let Zechs be the top student at LVA and placed herself second. And I still see a lot of people talk about that when critiquing Noin and citing disappointment in her character arc. This is also the point where I think my take on her has changed the most over the years.

Because firstly...the only source we really have about this tidbit is Zechs (in the show, anyway, I don’t know about the supplementary materials/FT, sorry, but I assume most people are also taking their knowledge on this point directly from the show, the same as I am). The thing about that is...do we really think Zechs is that reliable a narrator? Like. Reeeeeeally? (I am not the first person to point this out, but I am going to re-iterate it because I think it’s worth mentioning lol.)

That’s not to say there’s not some truth to what he says. Noin was the second-ranked student while Zechs took the top spot, that’s not in dispute, just the how and why that might have come about. And all I’m saying is, I think there’s some grey area there that’s fun to play with.

But secondly...let’s say Zechs is entirely on point. Noin gave herself a mission to make Zechs #1 at her own expense. I’ve heard people say, like, well it was because she realized Zechs’s own mission against the Alliance was more important or whatever, which is totally viable...but also still solidly doormat territory, IMO.

However, the other thing we know about Noin is....SHE HATES WAR. Again, Zechs’s words, but he says this directly to her and she has the chance to dispute it and she doesn’t, so.

And I don’t know why this took such a long time to click in my brain, but. LVA is a military academy right, so if it functions like I assume it does, the cadets receive their education and in exchange have an obligation to serve for a certain length of time thereafter. So it’s not exactly like the high school I went to, where being the top student might afford you a better choice of university or at least look good on your CV or something as you go out into the world (which, looking back is also kinda BS honestly, but whatever). If you’re the top student at LVA, you end up like Zechs. You’re not going out into the world, you’re going out to the front lines. And if you’re Noin, and you hate war...why would you want to do that? I wouldn’t.

So my current take is that actually, trying to avoid the top ranking is Noin valuing her own self-interest and putting herself first, and therefore...not a doormat. Yay!

(There are, in fairness, other doormat arguments that could be made, but this has gotten kinda long, so. Some other post, maybe.)

#gundam wing #lucrezia noin #character analysis #headcanon

17 notes · View notes

moriavis · 3 months

Note

56 phalanx and tempus 🙂🙂🙂

First off, how dare you weaponize an original project.

Secondly, uh. This was fun, even if it did take me three days to write.

(A quick primer for anyone interested: I'm writing an original story with a dumb golden retriever hero and a villain who time traveled to the past.)

~*~

A nearby explosion shook the building, and Ben grimaced, crouching to try to maintain his balance. His mission was a bust— if he'd known The Coterie was going to be picking fights with the Union, he would've stayed in and read a fucking book. Civilians scattered from their desks and flocked toward the stairs— for a wild moment, he thought he was going to be swept away by the crowd, but he lurched toward a door on the other side of the hallway. It was unlocked. If he believed in a god, he would've given thanks for the intervention. As it was, he closed the door behind him and immediately went to the windows. If his luck held, he'd be able to get a visual on the situation and figure out another plan.

The big guys were going head to head, each impact sending a minor shockwave through the air. As long as they didn't get trigger happy, chances were the building would be empty before it fell. Ben tried the window and scowled when he discovered it had no latch to open. He turned again, scanning the empty room in a desperate attempt to find anything he could use.

In the next second, his instincts screamed at him to duck, and Ben dropped to the floor, covering his head with his arms. There was a massive crash, glass and plaster raining down on him. At least that solved his window problem.

He raised his head and shook the plaster dust off his hoodie. To his right, hovering in the space where there used to be a wall was Stellar, her fists glowing with energy. He grinned and gave a half-hearted wave. "Hey, Tiff."

"Ben!" Stellar smiled brightly at him. "I didn't know you were going to be here today!"

"I'm not like. Here here." Ben shrugged. "Private business, not Coterie."

"Ohhh. Bummer." Something below them drew her attention, and she flexed her fingers, glowing brighter. "Can I leave the dummy with you? Just saw Horsepower and wanna pummel him." Stellar flew away without waiting for Ben's answer, and he turned with a resigned sort of exasperation toward the other side of the room, where Stellar's opponent had landed.

Wearing gold. Beefy. Dumb. Ben stifled a sigh as Phalanx pulled himself out of the rubble of furniture and drywall. He could pinpoint the exact moment Phalanx saw him by the way he tensed up, his brown eyes thinning into suspicious slits.

"Tempus. Should've guessed you'd be involved."

"I'm not involved," Ben decided to point out, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good. "You're the one who got thrown into the building."

"You're the one hiding like a coward." Phalanx cast a wall of yellow energy toward Ben, and he scrambled out of the way, stumbling over an abandoned chair in his haste. He hit the floor with a grunt, grimacing at the impact, and rolled over to face the ceiling as he panted for air.

Having Phalanx chasing after him would be incredibly annoying.

Ben climbed to his feet, inching toward a cubicle for cover. It was easy to see Phalanx from his position, and Ben considered his options— wait until Phalanx got bored and went off to rejoin his companions, actually give him the fight he was always itching for, or—

"I'm not playing hide and seek with you, Tempus." Phalanx looked frustrated, his cheeks red and his mouth pulled down into a scowl. He created another construct, a large, translucent hand to push the furniture out of his path, and Ben followed the siren of his instincts, standing and raising his hands in surrender.

"Pretty sure you don't want to do that," Ben said. "Aren't you guys on the hook for damages?" Phalanx hesitated, and Ben wondered if that was really the case. "Your silence is speaking volumes."

Phalanx's scowl deepened, but the construct he'd created faded into nothing.

"Good boy," Ben said, just to piss Phalanx off further, and it was delicious when it actually worked.

Phalanx threw the first punch, and Ben dodged it, striking back out of habit. His fist stung, and he cursed under his breath, shaking his hand out. Invulnerable asshole. They circled around each other and Ben blocked another punch, getting into Phalanx's space and giving him a hard shove back. Phalanx staggered back a step or two, and then charged forward, catching Ben in a tackle before he could move out of the way.

Ben was stunned at the impact, his breath punched out of him, and it took him a moment of gasping before he realized Phalanx had cradled his head out of instinct, keeping him protected from the concussion he thought he was definitely going to suffer.

"Are you okay?" Phalanx asked, and Ben stared up at him in baffled wonder. Phalanx was dumb and self-righteous, but he really meant the heroics. He was a believer.

Ben reached up, grabbed a handful of Phalanx's brown hair, and kissed him.

Phalanx leapt away from him like he'd suffered an electric shock, jabbing his finger in Ben's direction as Ben slowly sat up. "Don't play gay chicken with me!"

Ben flushed hot all over in complete mortification. "Dude. I'm gay."

Phalanx opened his mouth, closed it, and stopped pointing, looking a little embarrassed and a lot confused.

Ben got up off the ground and brushed the dirt off his jeans. "Glad that's cleared up. Let's go back to fighting." With that, Ben grabbed a lamp and swung it at Phalanx's head, pushing him back another few steps. It didn't faze him; nothing physical ever did, but the recoil seemed to be an instinct that Phalanx hadn't managed to train himself out of, and Ben would use it to his advantage as long as he could.

He struck Phalanx with the palm of his hand, following up with a kick, and he was completely stunned when Phalanx just caught him, plucking him from midair like he was a kid.

"You," Phalanx said firmly, his mouth pulling into another scowl, "are so damned mean."

When Phalanx kissed Ben, his mouth was hard and angry, and for a long second Ben couldn't even respond. It was chaste, closed-mouthed, but even so it was like Phalanx was trying to pour all of his frustration into Ben by the contact.

If Phalanx was actually playing gay chicken, Ben was going to kill him.

Ben yanked at Phalanx's hair again, taking advantage of the strange position to get some leverage, and Phalanx made a sound Ben couldn't decipher and yielded, following Ben's silent direction as he squeezed the back of one of Ben's thighs. It was almost sweet.

He broke the kiss, planted his feet on Phalanx's chest, and kicked. The momentum served dual purposes— it gave Ben enough power to pull out of Phalanx's hold, using the energy to flip and land back on his feet, and Phalanx staggered back right into the position Ben had been looking for. Ben kicked Phalanx one more time, straight in the solar plexus, and Phalanx lost his footing, plummeting right out of the broken window he'd come in from.

It was a nice kiss. Ben almost felt bad for taking advantage of it.

For now, though, he had to take his leave and get out before he was dragged into the fight again. The Phalanx problem could wait until later.

If he was lucky, it would never come up again.

~*~

#kiss prompts #original fiction

3 notes · View notes

tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 months

Text

It's felt like a vaguely depressing week in comedy, so here are a couple of happy things.

I haven't done one of my Chortle headlines roundup posts in a while, but here's one particularly excellent headline. I've thought for a while that it's odd John Kearns doesn't have any full stand-up specials released, not even in some smaller audio form or anything, as far as I can tell. This one that he's filming is The Varnishing Days, that got all those wildly good reviews last year and got nominated for that award in Melbourne this year, which is great, I can't wait to see it.

Stewart Lee filming Basic Lee is less big news just because I took it for granted that it would happen at some point, but I'm still pleased to have it confirmed. That show I have heard before but a version that'll be about two years old by the time this comes out, and I thought it was very very good, so I'm looking forward to seeing what it turned into.

Also, I will watch the Lucy Beaumont special, as that's another person whom you'd think would have had a full-length stand-up special released at some point already, but as far as I can tell, she hasn't. I've seen clips of her stand-up on YouTube, but Lucy Beaumont seems like an odd enough act so you probably need to see her stuff in context to understand what's going on (similar, in that specific way, to John Kearns again).

And secondly, I had a rare look at Twitter this week, and I'm glad I did because I am always disproportionately delighted at any modern content that calls back the Chocolate Milk Gang days. Like this picture that David O'Doherty posted the other day (from Australia, where all the comedians are now) of him in April 2024 shaking hands with Jermaine Clement over a mural featuring John Oliver.

Calling back, of course, to DO'D playing with Flight of the Conchords in Edinburgh in the early 00s, leading to him opening for them on some major tours in the later 00s, here he is backing them up on keyboards in Edinburgh in 2004:

And here he is passing half a cow to the Edinburgh crowd with John Oliver in 2003, with what I'm almost sure is Jermaine Clement backing them up on percussion just out of shot:

This screenshot also features Adam Hills, and I have to admit I briefly considered this week that part of me wants to put Adam Hills on my list of people to see in Edinburgh this year entirely so I can say I'm taking the opportunity to see anyone who was part of Cowgate and is still going to Edinburgh in 2024 (I already have DO'D tickets, I will of course scramble to pick up Kitson tickets the moment he announces anything in Edinburgh no matter what it is, and John Oliver/Demetri Martin/Flight of the Conchords have moved on with their lives, though there's still time to change your minds before Edinburgh 2024 starts, guys). And then I remembered there are good reasons why I've gone off Adam Hills and I can't dedicate a timeslot (and the cost of a ticket that's more expensive than most) to a guy I've gone off just for the sake of a 2003-based point (I mean, I still very much like a lot of things about Adam Hills in general, but I don't love some major aspects of the 2024 incarnation of him, and the 2024 incarnation is who will be showing up to Edinburgh 2024).

Anyway, this is a post about good things, and David O'Doherty shaking hands with Jermaine Clement in front of a mural of John Oliver 21 years after those men were all involved in late-night ritual cow sacrifice is a pretty good thing. It's probably the only good reason to keep Twitter around.

5 notes · View notes

thegeminisage · 2 months

Text

sigh ok star trek update time. wednesday we watched tng's "force of nature" and last night we watched ds9's "second sight" and tng's "inheritance."

force of nature (tng):

this one is so infamous i knew about it way before we watched it...as predicted, it made me mad

i've heard something about a lower decks episode retconning this? which just goes to show how little human beings want to like. work on a problem

like, the episode is about fossil fuels and climate change. we rely on fossil fuels but theyre damaging our environment to the point these people are willing to completely isolate themselves in space bc they have no other choice

and like, the point of the episode is that this lady has to essentially self-immolate to get any attention and everyone gets the runaround from the people in charge because no one wants to believe it will get that bad and no one wants to change...

...and then they just. didn't change. like nobody stopped using warp. nobody brought this up ever again. in fact, it got RETCONNED? so why write it at all in a series where you KNOW everything has to go back to the status quo...tng is even worse than merlin in this regard, why would they do this!!!

aside from that, i feel like they gave us a b plot or multiple b plots in the first half of the ep (training data's cat, geordi's rivalry with that other engineer) and then completely dropped and forgot about them?? the whole ting feels just so poorly thought out...

second sight (ds9):

MIXED FEELINGS. under one hand i've been absolutely DYING for more sisko content under the other girl what the fucj was that

the lady was sooo mysterious i was CERTAIN she was either evil or a ghost...what she actually was turned out to be closer to ghost ig but it was so out of the left field the ending didn't leave me feeling very satisfied. also, what a shit deal for fenna to be dying either way when all she wants to do is hang out and make out with sisko

sisko and jake scenes <3

i did like the bits with dax being like oh i get it you cant tell me about girls anymore because i AM one. does the time we fucked twins together mean nothing to you

the ending was really good also. i mean, i think the plot of this episode was kind of ???, but the guy playing sisko is a GREAT actor and his struggle over this ridiculous situation was so palpable you felt for him in spite of it.

the guy she was actually married to was SO ANNOYING but i thought him killing himself was stupid and i was also a little more annoyed everyone seemed so chill about letting him do it - like, there was quite literally no way they could have stopped him, but sisko seeing him off with a sad smile instead of getting angry wasn't really what i expected

THAT SAID, reigniting a star and going out with the words "let there be light!" is pretty fucking metal. like i don't even like him, but you HAVE to hand it to him. that was really REALLY good, especially considering it came from a character i would have happily murdered myself right up until the instant he said it

inheritance (tng):

mixed feelings...2!

first off, i can't help but feel mister terraformer who reignites stars from that ds9 ep would have been able to help here. he killed himself out of fucking vanity and now he's totally useless to people who need him. jesus.

secondly, what the FUCK

i love data episodes, but the last few data episodes have been rough ones. i like him being skeptical of his "mom" and them eventually getting to know one another better, and i DEFINITELY like the subplot of her secretly being a little racist towards androids

like, there's so much complexity in that. what if you were data and you were alone in the universe but you found out you had a mom but she fucking sucked? like, lore traumatized her so bad she wanted a metaphorical abortion and when her husband refused she wanted to leave that baby outside the fire station, if the fire station had a big crystalline entity trying to eat all the firefighters.

i think that would have been a FINE episode on its own. like, her learning about data's loneliness, his failed attempt at having children, his success as not only a starfleet officer but a person, in SPITE of her fears and his rough beginning, his difficulties in not knowing who he was and his accidental reactivation of lore born from that loneliness and separation from his parents which is HER FAULT...all of this is fine drama

why did they have to make her also secretly an android, is my problem. it's a STUPID plot twist, and one tos did to MUCH better effect. like, is that android chapel's long-dead fiance just because he thinks he is? does having a person's memories and personality make you them, or is the copy always going to be different no matter what? tos seemed to decide the answer was that you can't implant a human consciousness into an android and be left with no changes whatsoever. you can't ever truly cheat death - even spock didn't get out of it entirely.

and what REALLY grinds my gears is that now they know this woman is an android WITH A KILL TIMER SET IN HER BRAIN so she can "die of old age" instead of like, working on changing the timer and letting her be friends with data or even telling her and asking HER if she wants the knowledge of what she is wiped from her brain, they're like, well she would be happier being human! WHICH IS STILL RACIST AGAINST ANDROIDS. and data's like yeah damn i guess she would be it would be selfish of me not to let her keep believing she is one. guess we'll lie then. it's not like there's any danger of her finding out from a stranger someday or anything

absolutely nuts by the way that deanna voted lie and picard voted truth. normally picard is the one with the rancid takes but this time it really was deanna :/

there's also logistic concerns. why doesn't she glow like data in geordi's visor? how does she digest food? if she was that advanced why did dr soong not make more androids or at least go retrieve data? why did he let her divorce him without telling her what she really was? like, let's make an android but a WOMAN, which means she gets no agency whatsoever. nevermind her HUSBAND - like, if they fuck, i do feel like he has the right to know he's fucking an android? it sounds bad when i say it like that bc if she wanted to keep it a secret then its none of his business but it just feels so weird that he's married to a copy of a person and neither of them know it and he's only gonna find out after she dies and someone tries to do an autopsy on hr. like what the HELL

also lmao the aside about data aging. threw that in there just for fun did we

anyway, that was an episode with huge potential that missed the mark so fucking completely because they prioritized a dumb shitty plot twist over actual interpersonal shit and character development. SIGH.

TONIGHT: ds9's "sanctuary" and tng's "parallels."

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #ds9 lb

6 notes · View notes