#and sam as always is stuck in the middle here because he’s also helping dean write vows | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

all-alone-he-turns-to-stone · 9 months

Text

All The Things He Said - Part 9

Series Masterlist

Part 8 / Part 10

Title: The Devil Called Me A Liar

Chapter summary: After almost dying (again) from the hands of Manticore's deadliest killer, Cordell and Alec can only do one thing. Wait. Wait for help to arrive and wait for wounds to heal. Alone in a cold but safe place in the middle of nowhere, they wait together. Unfortunately, their respite doesn't last long...

Crossover with: Walker / Supernatural / Dark Angel

Pairing: Sam/Cordell/Duke x Alec Mcdowell / past Sam x Dean (flashbacks/mentions included)

Chapter warning: smut, unprotected sex, p in a, angst, seizure, major character death

Word Count: 4465

A/n: So I finally decided to post the remaining chapters! I'll try to post the last chapters every 2 days!

This story is also on AO3!

Don’t forget to leave a feedback!

“I know this is not the best, but it’s safe. I guess it’s not something you guys do, hide and wait, but that’s what we need. Time.”

Pacing back and forth, Alec had his head up, turned to the right and then the left, green eyes looking everywhere. Like he didn’t have enough of what surrounded him and needed to see more and take pictures with his retinas to be sure to not miss a single detail. It was probably part of his training, memorizing the place he had to stay in before doing anything else. Finding any possible threats.

A good little soldier, Cordell thought. But as the thought passed his mind, Alec spoke and what he said surprised him.

“It’s nice here.”

After almost dying to X5-452, also known as Max, Cordell decided it was time to fight back. Before they got stuck in a corner surrounded by trained soldiers again, they had to land the first punch. But not now. Last time, they both almost died, it had to be planned and done correctly.

Before anything, they needed time. Time to heal, time to rest, and especially, time to gather his friends. One call to Garth and the hunter found them a safe cabin in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The cabinets were full of canned food, but unfortunately there was no electricity or hot water. No water at all, actually. But there was a lake not far from the house where they could bathe, and water bottles inside.

It was the closest safe place he could find them.

It was only temporary too, the time Garth could contact the others. Because with what Alec told Cordell, they would need as much help as possible. Cordell hated to involve his friends in his problem, but…

He couldn’t do it alone. They couldn’t do it alone. Why Alec looked so much like Dean would be hard to explain to a bunch of trained hunters, sure, but they would believe Cordell.

No, they would believe Sam.

“It’s not much,” Cordell brushed it off, limping towards the couch. Now that they were in a safe place, the adrenaline that used to course through his veins was gone and the pain of his injuries finally appeared. “But it’s safe.”

“Let me help-”

He felt the hands before the words hit his ears. But it didn’t matter, because his reaction was the same. “Don’t touch me.”

Rough and low, it was a warning. Cordell pushed back Alec’s hands and sat down by himself on the couch, sighing as it felt better now. Being electrocuted left a deep pain inside of him, accompanied with a strong, overpowering fatigue. Added to that, walking miles in the forest while it rained to reach the cabin…They were both drenched and exhausted.

Cordell glanced at Alec who was still standing in the middle of the room. The rain washed away the blood, and now he could see his injuries were mostly gone. There was still a bit of swelling where the bruises were supposed to be, but that was only that.

A memory tried to force itself into Cordell’s brain. He saw Dean, standing in front of his bed in another shady motel room, watching over Sam. His brother had more injuries than him, but still, Dean took care of him first. Always.

“At least, take a towel,” Alec said, a dry cloth in his hands. Cordell took it without saying anything and put it on his head to ruffle his hair. “Your clothes are drenched, I’m gonna go and look for something so you can change.”

The atmosphere was unpleasant. Awkward. They had to stick together, yeah. For survival. But there was more than that. The painful need to touch him, to feel his skin against his, his warmth, make sure he was really there… That he was still the Alec he fell in love with, it was poignant. Like his heart was being squashed in his chest.

Cordell wanted to stay mad at Alec. After all, he lied. He was supposed to kill him.

But… Cordell did the exact same thing.

The cabin was quite small. It shouldn’t take so much time for Alec to come back with clothes if he found some. A bit worried, Cordell didn’t hesitate and got on his feet. His legs were still weak and shaking as he took some steps towards the bedroom, the only other room besides the bathroom. It was how it was built, the living room took the same space as the kitchen. Then, a small hallway with two doors on each side, one being the bathroom and the other, the only bedroom. Cordell walked to the one Alec was probably in for the clothes. The door was ajar, so he pushed it open more, enough to see.

It was small. The bed was small, the room was small, and the person currently in it was small. A pinch to the heart, Cordell felt himself unable to move. What he was witnessing, he shouldn’t be watching it. It was private. It was a moment Alec needed, alone. And yet, even if he was frozen in front of the scene, Cordell had only one thing in mind… One thing he wanted to do so bad it hurt.

He wanted to walk in that room, sit down on the floor next to Alec, and let him cry against his chest.

But instead, Cordell stepped back slightly and put the door the way it was. Then, he walked back to the couch, sat down in the same position he was in, the towel around his shoulders, and waited for Alec to come back.

With everything he went through, seeing his former friend now enemy… It had to be hard for Alec. If what he said was true, and he had no doubt it was, Alec was close to Max before Manticore brainwashed her into a killer. He lost her friend. Watched her kill his friends, his family, one after the other. Got dragged back to Manticore, suffered the same thing as her, got tortured…

And now that he was out of the brainwash, he was being pursued again. The only thing that helped him go through all of that shit was him. Cordell. Sam.

Him.

Seeing Alec cry, sitting on the floor, his knees close to his body, it hurt. But it was to hear the suppressed sobs, almost feeling them himself, stuck, trying too hard to break free, shaking… It was too much. Sam could never support seeing his brother cry. Dean didn’t like others to see the tears he would shed, that was how they were raised by their fathers. But he was human, he still cried.

In all his life, Sam heard Dean sob maybe two times, one of them being when he confessed what he did in hell. It was painful to listen and watch the person he loved suffering…

Hearing Alec sob, cry, wail his inner pain, it broke Cordell. He wished he could take that pain away. Make things go better. Help him feel better. Alec could maybe heal his own physical injuries, it was harder to heal the soul. It was even harder to do it alone.

“Here,” a voice said suddenly, making Cordell jump. Lifting his head, he met Alec’s face. There was no trace of what he saw earlier, no tears on his cheeks, no red eyes, no sadness. It was in his veins, he knew how to hide his emotions well. The only time Cordell saw through that thick shell of the soldier he was, it was when he showed up unannounced at Alec’s place. And even then, it took Alec one quick shower to erase any trace of sadness and anger.

Cordell took the clothes Alec offered and also noticed he had changed. Alec was now wearing an oversize t-shirt and joggings that he had attached tightly around his waist to not lose them.

“I wonder who lived here before,” Cordell avoided the subject of what he saw in the room, looking at the clothes instead. “Garth is tiny, those can’t be his.”

He tried it too, to fake emotions in order to avoid talking about stuff he didn’t want to talk about. Cordell forced his lips up to smile, showing Alec he had no idea what took him so long in the room.

Cordell glanced at Alec to see if it worked. The shadow of a smirk appeared on his face. “An elephant, clearly. Are you hungry?”

The after taste of the canned soup stayed on his tongue for hours after they ate. But that wasn’t the worst, no.

It was the silence.

Once the task of eating something was done, there was nothing else to do. Quickly, the night filled the sky again, it’d been a whole day already since they escaped Max. And since there was no electricity, all they could use to light up the cabin were the couple of candles found in the kitchen.

Besides, the dark wasn’t the problem. It was rather the cold. Biting inside of his body, it felt like his insides were shaking. The cold was everywhere but it seemed to be stronger inside of him. Teeth clattering, Cordell tried to make himself silent in the living room, but he guessed Alec had super hearing with everything else Manticore gave him. Because it didn’t take much time before a shadow hovered above Cordell.

“I know you said I could keep the bedroom, but I can’t sleep with your teeth clashing together like that,” Alec said. He had one candle in his hand that was glowing some warmth in front of him.

“Well, f-fuck you,” Cordell answered, clutching the blanket closer to him.

Alec didn’t seem to take the insult personally, he even brushed it off as he got closer to Cordell, right in his personal space. And this time, when his hand touched Cordell, he let the gesture go without interrupting it. A warm hand settled on his forehead.

“You’re not burning, so no fever, that’s good,” Alec commented. It was too dark to see his face, but only his voice was enough for him to know he was sincerely concerned for his health.

“Awesome,” Cordell muttered, trying to hide how it made him feel. “Now you can go away.”

Closing his eyes, the hunter tried to find sleep again, maybe he could warm up during the night once he fell asleep. But movements alerted him and he half sat up on the couch to look around.

The candle was now on the small coffee table in front of the couch, the flame so small, it did nothing. And with him on the couch…

“You’re so stubborn,” Alec said, and without seeing him, Cordell knew he was rolling his eyes. Sitting down near his torso, Alec was trying to lay down in front of him.

“And I don’t want you here, fuck off!” Cordell tried to push the man away, but it was useless. Alec was stronger. All Cordell managed to do was grab the shirt and caused Alec’s scent to reach him.

Dean’s perfume was almost completely gone. Cordell could finally know what Alec's own smell was. And he preferred to have never known, cause now, he wanted more.

“If you want me to leave, you better be more persuasive, cause that is weak.” Alec took a pause in his words. “Listen. I have an accelerated metabolism, I can’t catch colds and my body heat is higher than normal. I only want to help you, I swear.”

The frustration only grew in Cordell. Because like always, Alec was right. Cordell didn’t want him to leave, he wanted to bring him closer, not push him away. He wanted his heat all for himself. He wanted to rip those oversize clothes from his body and be skin to skin with him.

And to resist in the dark was even harder. Since he couldn’t see, Cordell could only hear and feel… And the barrier between Alec and Dean was even slimmer now that fatigue was in the mixt.

Sam could never say no to Dean. Even if the word left his mouth, it would always mean the same thing. Yes. Yes to everything. So despite his mouth saying to fuck off, despite his hands trying to push him away, Alec layed down in front of Cordell on his side. In that position, Cordell was the big spoon and Alec’s heat warmed up the front of his body.

It felt right to be like that. With Alec in his arms. If felt right, like it was meant to be. It felt comfortable, but also painful. In the endless nights of chaos, Sam used to hold Dean in the same way. When they were in that bed together, the Winchester felt alone in the whole world. It was safe. They didn’t have to worry about the world when they were in each other’s arms during the night.

It was the same with Alec. It felt safe, warm, everything that Sam ever wanted to feel again since he lost Dean. Peace. But the peace was disturbed by so many other things running through his head, so many questions, fears and insecurities. Feelings were a tornado in his mind.

He loved him. But was it really love? Or was it his grief? Did he love him because he was him, or because he reminded him of a ghost of the past?

What was real between them? There were only lies. Liars. Cordell was a liar. Sam was a liar. The devil said it himself.

Liar.

They both lied. But they both felt it. There was something pure, twisted, painful between the two of them.

It was running and running and running through his head endlessly as Cordell slowly warmed up with Alec’s body heat. In front of them, the candle had died, bringing complete darkness in the room. And after a while, Cordell found his arms around Alec, holding him close.

His hold tightened. Impossibly closer. And when it was too much, Cordell pressed him even closer.

But he needed more, so he removed Alec’s shirt. But that still wasn't enough. Cordell removed his own shirt. The feeling of Alec’s back against his torso was good, burning strong, almost painfully. Like an extinct candle that would be lit up again, he felt the warmth bloom inside of him.

But it wasn’t enough. Like he read his mind, Alec removed his pants on his own. No words were exchanged as Cordell did the same to end up completely naked behind Alec. Skin on skin, they were now sweating and breathing fast, but still, none of them were talking.

It was almost as if both of them waited for the other’s approval before doing anything. Both wanted it, but both were afraid of doing it. It wasn’t the first time they did things like this, but it felt like it. Because now, they knew each other, they knew the truth. No more fooling around.

It was real. No more lies, no more masks, no more hidden identity.

It was Alec that did the first move. His skin was burning as he took Cordell’s hand, guiding it down until it was on his thigh. There, he left it, leaving the choice to Cordell. He could stop everything now, and tomorrow would resume as if nothing happened.

Or he could continue.

It hurt to do it. But it hurt even more to do nothing.

The grip on Alec’s tight got stronger, enough to leave bruises. It was okay.

If, when they arrived at the cabin, Alec would have told him they would be burning hot at the end of the day, Cordell wouldn’t have believed him.

And yet, burning hot was weak to describe how they were both feeling.

Pounding slowly inside of him, Cordell had a steady rhythm. But it wasn’t about speed or strength this time, it was about all the things they said but never listened. All the things they showed but never saw. All the things that were left behind, all the hidden feelings, everything.

Both arms were circling the smaller frame, holding him close to him. They were in the same position as when they laid down, but now, Cordell was deep inside of Alec, fucking him from behind slowly. It felt good, like they were doing it for the first time, discovering the other’s body, the other’s voice, the two of them alone in the middle of nowhere. It was intimate. Passionate.

Painful.

“Hmm!” Alec was moaning more and more now, he didn’t feel the need to hold back or fake it, it was true, and it was unique. It was his own moans, not something he would copy for his mission. It was his own pleasure he showed with no barriers. He wanted Cordell to know how much it felt good, how much he wanted this, how, all day, he held himself back from touching him and how hard it had been.

How scared he was of losing him.

“Fuck…” Cordell was cursing, groaning, panting. His body felt hot, it was so good to be in Alec again, connected so intimately to him. They were so close to each other, he was scared of losing him and didn’t want to hide it anymore. He loved Alec. For all the good and the bad reasons, he was in love with him. Even after the lies and with the danger lurking ahead, he loved him so much, he never wanted to be separated from him… Ever again.

They made love that night, exactly like the night after the carnival date. It was just even more real right now. They could die at any moment.

But there was more.

It was real because now, there were no more lies. Completely vulnerable to the other, naked, body and soul.

“I love you so much,” Cordell couldn't hold it back. The feelings were too strong in his body, and without even noticing, his movements got faster. “So.. So much…”

“I… Love you too…” The answer came immediately, and in the darkness of the room, Cordell could see Alec’s head turned back slightly like he was trying to see him.

He meant it. It was real.

Joy and love overflowed in Cordell’s body as he suddenly pulled out of Alec. The soldier let himself be manipulated and ended up under the ranger, on his back, and with no time to catch his breath, Cordell was inside of him again in that position.

“Say it again,” Cordell asked, moving at a quick pace. He could barely see in the darkness, but he wanted to do it face to face. He wanted to see and hear him say it as he made love to him.

“I love you,” Alec placed his hands on Cordell’s cheeks, inciting him to lower his face to him. When he was close enough, Alec pressed his lips to his and kissed him with a devouring passion. His arms circled Cordell’s neck as they kept kissing, and it didn’t take long for Cordell to climax, long moans of pleasure drowned against Alec’s lips. Once Cordell came, Alec broke the kiss to look at him again. “Say it again…”

Cordell didn’t hesitate. “I love you.”

Only hearing him say it sent a strong wave of arousal and love in Alec, and with the friction of their body, Alec reached his climax next. “God… Fuck,” Alec moaned, a big smile on his face. “I never felt that good in a long while… And not just because of the sex,” he hastened to add.

“I know, I feel the same.” A small pause in which Cordell hid his face against Alec’s neck, both of them hugging in silence. “It’s wrong. But at the same time, I can’t help but feel good. So, it has to be right somewhere, right?”

His voice was muffled against Alec’s neck, but he heard him all the same.

“It doesn’t have to be wrong for us.”

To that, Cordell could only nod.

The next day, they decided to go bath in the lake. It was warmer than the day before, but the water was freezing. Perfect way of waking up completely after a night more than perfect.

Cordell was scared things wouldn’t be the same when he woke up the next day. And he was right, nothing was the same, but it was for the best. They confessed their feelings, they loved each other. And that was all that mattered.

Cordell was finally done drying his hair and entered the cabin, the towel around his shoulders. “I’m quite hungry, I would kill for a good coffee, but I guess canned soup would do again today, right?”

Silence answered him. The cabin was small and Alec had super hearing, so there was no reason he didn’t hear him and didn’t answer.

“Alec?”

Worry filled Cordell immediately, the hunter and ranger instincts fighting each other inside of him. And when he didn’t find Alec in the kitchen, worry turned into fear.

“Alec!!”

Running, he made his way to the bedroom. Empty. Panic got stronger. The worse case scenario made his head spin as he burst into the bathroom.

And right there, his heart dropped.

“Alec!”

Cordell rushed to the tub where Alec was. Sitting down, he had his knees to his chest and was shaking uncontrollably. Sweat was running down his face and his eyes looked feverish when he glanced towards him.

“That’s not how I wanted you to discover this…”

“What the fuck is happening! I thought you couldn’t get sick!” Cordell placed a hand on Alec’s forehead, only to remove it immediately. “You’re burning! You need to go to the hospital, fuck Manticore!”

A hand grabbed Cordell’s wrists, stopping him immediately. “No, listen, Cordell,” Alec managed to say. The tremors were so bad and he looked in so much pain, panic turned into tears. Angry at his body to react that way right now, Cordell dried his eyes quickly. “It’s nothing, just… When they built us, the X5, they forgot something… Serotonin, we lack serotonin… Tryptophan can help…” the smile he forced on his face was so fake it hurt like a thousand knives in Cordell’s heart. “Guess we’re not perfect, heh?”

“Okay then I’ll go to the pharmacy for it!” Cordell was about to leave, but the grip on his wrist got stronger, preventing him from moving. “Let me go!”

“No, we can’t l-l-leave, it’s dangerous,” Alec insisted. “It’ll pass, it’s just a b-bad one… I p-promise.”

Cordell wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe it would pass, that he would feel better soon and get back to the cocky, arrogant Alec he loved. He wanted to believe it so bad.

But he wouldn’t get better without that tryptophan. Because last night, Alec wasn’t crying.

He was having a seizure just like this one and it was so bad he couldn’t hold back the whimper of pain.

His head was spinning so bad. Nausea filled his chest with an uncomfortable pain, it pressed and stabbed and burned. Everything was falling apart, he couldn’t think straight, and on the spot, Cordell didn’t know what tryptophan was. All he knew and all that mattered was the fact that it would only get worse until Alec had it.

That was Cordell’s mistake. His emotions got the upper hand, he let himself be controlled by them and forgot about important things. Like the fact he heard the name tryptophan, saw it somewhere before. He even had some on him, from Alec’s apartment.

“Okay,” Cordell nodded. “Let me just get you a glass of water, at least…”

Alec gazed deeply in Cordell’s eyes, looking for any lies that would be there. When he saw none, he let go of his wrist and watched him get up. “Come back quick, p-please,” he muttered as he left the bathroom.

Alec should have known. He couldn’t see it, because now, Cordell was a master at hiding his emotions and lying. But he should have known that after the night they spent together, he would not let him suffer, let alone die.

Alec heard his steps getting too far away, thanks to his super hearing. Panic seized him when he understood Cordell was leaving the cabin, and adrenaline did the rest, he managed to get out of the tub on shaky legs and walked to the outside.

The cabin was small, only a couple of steps were necessary before he was at the door. It was so small, his ears could capture the sounds of the outside and the voices talking. His brain just couldn’t assimilate what was going on, or why his body seemed to be walking under water. His limbs were so heavy, shaking, painful, the door seemed so far away, but finally, Alec reached it.

The door was wide open.

And finally, his eyes caught up with his hearing.

A strong explosion blew off right in front of him, making him lose balance and fall on the floor. A wall of heat filled his sight in orange, and through the flames and the chaos, he could see him.

Motionless on the ground, he was now only a dark spot in the bright light that was growing as the fire ate the trees and the grass.

“CORDELL!”

Cordell didn’t answer. Because Cordell was that burnt body laying down on the ground. The corpse of Alec’s bike was right next to him, the metal bent under the heat of the fire.

There was no way he survived that.

But Alec didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t lose Cordell. He couldn’t. It was just a bad dream, he would wake up in his arms, and they would go in the lake again, and his seizures would stop quickly. And then, his friends would arrive and help them beat Manticore.

Alec started crawling towards him, towards the fire, and he didn’t care about getting burnt. He had to get to him, save him, even if there was nothing to save. Maybe seeing Cordell would wake him up?

But it wasn’t a dream.

In the middle of the blaze, walking through the flames unburnt, there was someone heading his way. Alec knew who it was, of course, it could only be her. She probably found them immediately, but waited for the right moment to be sure to hurt him. Waited, observed, and put that bomb in Alec’s bike… Activating the device only when Alec would be watching.

And it worked. Because when Max lifted Alec to get him back to Manticore, he didn’t even move or try to fight.

He was dragged past Cordell’s corpse, his eyes not leaving him until he was out of sight.

Tag lists

All The Things He Said: @colereads @writethelifeyouwant @agenthellcat @mvdeanw

Forever taglist: @nitnat6245 @eevvvaa @fictional-affairs @wickedinspirations @awkward-and-indecisive

Supernatural Tag List: @cryptichobbit @sexyvixen7 @stixnstripesworld @charred-angelwings @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @lyarr24 @fiftyshadesgrl

4 notes · View notes

screamqueenclaire · 3 years

Text

hey not to sadpost on wedding day but cas’ confession kind of sounds like wedding vows do you think he wr[GUNSHOTS]

#weddingposting #deancas wedding #im sorry about this #im just thinking about cas when he still thinks his love is unrequited writing what he would say if it was possible #on a lighter note #he now has nothing to say because he used his one eloquent speech #so now hes trying to get sam to help him write vows #and sam as always is stuck in the middle here because he’s also helping dean write vows #because dean assumes cas is gonna have amazing vows because if his confession was that good he must just be eloquent like that #but no that speech took him twelve years actually!!!

2 notes · View notes

stratiotis-nth · 3 years

Text

“Dean, just go book a massage already.” Sam griped as Dean let out another groan, his muscle roller brutally pressing over the knots in his shoulder. “Campus offers sessions at the health center.”

In all honesty, Dean had been trying to do everything except go get a massage. He didn’t like the idea of strange people touching him, and it certainly didn’t help that he’d seen a lot of erotic massage porn in his day. He didn’t want to get a goddamn boner in the middle of the session and get stuck in an awkward predicament with some poor girl just making minimum wage.

“I’m fine.” Dean grumbled, wincing again as the roller bumped over the aching knot he had had since he was a teenager.

“Your appointment is on Friday at 2.” Sam replied flatly. Dean turned to stare at him, incredulous as Sam showed him the confirmation page on his laptop. He scowled.

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

——————

Dean mentally cursed Sam as he sat in the relax room in nothing but a fluffy towel around his hips, anxiously waiting for the masseuse to come get him (despite the room’s literal purpose being to relax). He had tried to cancel his appointment, but Sam had done something to it so the cancellation page was guarded by a passcode. He had clearly gone lengths to get Dean’s muscles loosen up, but he also suspected this was payback for every time Sam had been forced out of their apartment so Dean could hook up with whatever chick he happened to woo at the bar.

“Mr. Winchester?”

Dean jerked his head up, startled by the low pitch of the voice. Holy fucking shitbags, was he getting rubbed up by a dude? He had been expecting some hot chick with curvy hips and big tits with soft hands that could melt him to butter—

He could practically hear Sam’s voice in his head.

You’re confusing reality with porn again.

Dean nearly choked on his words, his anxiety only increased when he realized what was about to happen.

“Y-Yeah?” His voice cracked at the end. He only just started taking in the guy’s features and felt his shoulders stiffen even more—fuck. This guy was gorgeous. Not only did he have the voice of a goddamn erotic storyteller, but he looked the part too. Glossy black hair that was unfairly messy in the most attractive way (Dean’s horny mind unhelpfully suggested his hair looked like he had just gotten thoroughly fucked), a strong jawline darkened by a five o clock shadow that was so defined Dean felt the strangest urge to bite it. His lips were a little chapped, but they were plush and pink—

All train of thought came to a screeching halt when their eyes met. Jesus Christ, did this guy inject the fucking ocean into his eyeballs? No one has eyes that blue—Dean could make out the color from across the room. They shown bright and soft, a shocking contrast from the sharp defined features of a young man in his prime.

“If you’ll come with me, we can start your session.” The guy said. Dean nearly stumbled on his goddamn feet as he stood up. He had never had a problem with guys before, so why was this one throwing him off kilter?

It’s just because he’s gonna have his hands all over you in a minute. Dean reasoned to himself, anything to stop the feeling of panic fluttering in his chest. He silently followed the guy into one of the rooms, once again distracted by how fucking good the guy smelled. Maybe it was just the aromatherapy mentioned on the center’s website, but this guy smelled deeper, like almond extract and honey mixed with pine and campfires. Woodsy but sweet and Dean felt his shoulders relaxing involuntarily—until the sharp scent of lavender hit his nose and the guy’s scent was wiped out. The lavender immediately brought him back to the present, and he snapped out of his daze to realize the guy was standing patiently by the massage table—right. Dean was supposed to lay down on it.

“Have you ever had a massage here before?” The guy asked as Dean laid down and self consciously adjusted the towel now unwound from his waist and spread out on his pelvis.

“N-No.” Dean managed in a somewhat level voice.

“Well, welcome.” The guy gave him a small smile. Somehow, it made him feel better. “I’m just going to go through the standard procedure you ordered before we begin, alright?”

“Kay.” Dean squeaked, immediately making up for the embarrassing noise with a low grunt as he cleared his throat.

The guy started to calmly inform Dean of the places he would be putting his hands, all while pouring sharply sweet smelling oil on them. While he talked, Dean’s gaze somehow latched themselves onto the now-shiny hands that were about to be on him. They were nice hands—really nice hands. The knuckles were defined and his fingers were slender and strong. Dean could see the veins and tendons rolling under tan skin as he worked the oil around.

“—is that alright?”

He blinked, tearing his eyes away from the dude’s hands and back to that too blue gaze.

“Yep.” He said, all without really hearing a word the guy had said. It was an automatic response, one that the panicking part of Dean was screaming to take back.

“Your form says your problems areas are your shoulders and upper thighs.” The guy said casually. Dean felt the tips of his ears burn—his thighs were just fine, Sam knew that.

Fuck. Sam had done it on purpose, hadn’t he? To fuck up Dean’s world in cruel retaliation.

“Please turn on your back so we can begin.”

Dean tensed up the moment he was in position and the guy’s warm, slick hands touched his shoulders. His masseuse didn’t seem fazed, because he immediately went to work, strong fingers pressing into his skin as they work down his upper shoulders.

It took him a moment, when he felt Dean relaxing under his ministrations, to really begin. Dean bit back a groan as the hands suddenly became brutal, zeroing in on the knots and forcing them down with accurate strength. Dean tried to breath through the agonizing pain as he felt his muscles get pinched between strong fingers and pulled on the harsh rub downwards.

The guy worked diligently even though he had to know how much Dean was struggling. His body was both encouraging and protesting his actions, because while the knots hurt, Dean found himself floundering whenever the hands disappeared from his skin for more oil.

He felt himself sinking into the cushy table, melting like wax under this guy’s hands. As the pressure of fingers stayed on Dean’s upper shoulder and neck, there wasn’t even a buzz of arousal that he had expected. Porn lied to him, clearly, because this was perfectly okay and clinical—

And unmanly whimper escaped Dean’s clamped lips as he felt the hands slid downward without warning and suddenly there was warmth shooting down his pelvis—oh no…

The hands never stopped, traveling further down his spine and sides, pausing here and there to work out kinks. Dean did his best not to squirm, to think of disgusting things if only to dispel the chubby he probably had. The hands were nearly at his hips, pressing on either side of his tailbone and jesus fucking christ surely the towel was covering him up?

The hands disappeared, and immediately, Dean despised the loss. All his panicking vanished, replaced by a yearning to feel the touch again. He nearly jumped when the hands suddenly pressed into the back of his thighs, just below the crease of his ass. Another spike of hot arousal shot down his spine, and Dean sincerely prayed he wouldn’t be asked to turn over.

But jesus, this guy was working magic. He found knots that Dean didn’t even know he had, nearly making him cry when he worked out a particularly harsh one in his calf.

He was there for nearly an hour, fighting between states of arousal and panic in complete silence while this poor (but very hot) guy did his job in total blissful ignorance of Dean’s internal war.

“If there are any areas on your front you would like me to work on—“

“No!” Dean said a little too quickly. “No, I’m fine. Just—“ While panicking, his shoulders had tensed up again. And maybe a small part of him didn’t want to leave just yet. “Can you work on my shoulders a little more? I’m always tensing them.”

“Of course.” Came a rumbling reply, and those glorious hands were back on his shoulders, carefully pressing out the knots trying to form again. Dean immediately melted again, his shoulders slumping against the pressure.

He thought that would be the end of it. Dean had gone to the massage like Sam wanted (maybe he was thinking about going back, because he hadn’t felt that relaxed and loose in years), and now Dean could get back to classes and the garage. And if maybe he jerked off to a massage porn video imagining his masseuse instead of the faceless guy in the flick, if maybe Dean started having wet dreams about him basically every night, if maybe Dean was starting to question is already questionable sexuality all because this guy gave him a massage, it was no one’s business but his. Not like he’s ever gonna see the guy again anyway, because how could he go back now that he’s jerked off to the guy? That’s just rude.

So imagine his shock, terror, and panic when he walked into the first day of his tech class to see Mr. Massage sitting at a nearby work table, talking quietly with the professor. Mr. Magic Hands is Castiel Novak, Dean’s TA…and his lab partner for the year.

57 notes · View notes

mersuperwholocked-lowlife · 3 years

Text

Too Late For An Apology

Word Count: 1,823

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader; John Winchester x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, slight torture, slight TW: abuse, but doesn’t go too in depth

A/N: i’m sorry my posting schedule sucks now oof

A/N 2: Thanks to my fav bitch @tragedy-of-sorts for reading and also for being my fav

A/N 3: The reader’s like six years younger than Dean, two younger than Sam

Masterlist

You heard your doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, while you shot your head up, looking at the clock next to you. It was 3 in the morning. You frowned slightly, reaching for your gun before slipping out of bed, looking through the eyehole.

“Dad?” you opened the door, revealing your father showing up in front of you.

“Hey, (Y/N),” you wrapped your arms around John, still in shock.

“Dad, what are you doing here? And at this time?” he walked into your apartment before you closed the door, turning on the lights.

“I have a lead. Hunting the demon that killed your mother. I’ll need your help,” he started.

You felt chills going down your spine.

“Where are Sam and Dean?” you asked.

“Sam went away to college, and Dean’s off somewhere, on a hunt probably,” he replied.

“Wouldn't either of them be able to help you better? I haven't hunted in two years, Dad,” you kept your voice low.

“They can’t know. They’ll mess everything up, you know how your brothers are. We leave tomorrow, okay?” you nodded your head softly, before going to pack your bag, getting ready for the big hunt.

---

“That’s totally unfair! (Y/N) doesn't have to train! (Y/N) doesn’t have to do anything!” you could hear Dean yelling at John, while you hid behind the door of Bobby’s house. You held a drawing in your hands, one that you made of yourself with your siblings and father.

“She is a child!” John yelled back.

“She’s twelve! When me and Sam were twelve you would force us to hunt! You never let us rest? I hate (Y/N) and I hate how you give her special treatment all the damn time!” tears welled up in your eyes as you crumpled the paper, stuffing it into your bag before sneaking back upstairs.

---

“Do you know how long we’ve been looking for you and Dad for?” you kept your gaze on your bed sheets in your hospital room, hearing Dean yell at you.

“I tried to-”

“Not only do you abandon us, now you’re back, and with Dad, and never thought it was important to tell us?” he yelled.

You frowned slightly before realization hit you. They never knew why you left.

“I’m sorry,” you clenched your jaw.

He groaned, frustrated.

“Get ready, we’re leaving,” he slammed the door shut as he walked out of your hospital room.

---

“I saw your journal in the trash can, (Y/N),” John sat down next to you in your bed.

“I’m kind of over the whole drawing thing,” you lied, shaking your head.

“What happened?” John asked.

“Nothing happened, I just don't like it anymore,” you shrugged, turning back to your schoolwork.

“Just like that?” he questioned.

“I want to go on a hunt,” you said.

“What? (Y/N)...”

“I’m sure, Dad,” you interrupted him.

“Fine. We’ll start your training tomorrow,” he agreed.

He kissed your forehead and left, before you laid on your bed, digging your face in your pillow.

---

You held back a sob, watching John’s body burst into flames. There was silence between the three of you, while you stood a distance away from them.

“Sam,” your voice was barely above a whisper.

“Let’s go,” he walked away from you, while he and Dean headed back to the car.

Your tears fell down your face, as you let out a shaky breath.

“(Y/N)!” Sam yelled.

“I-I’m coming,” you followed them back to the car, keeping your head low.

---

Your vision was blurry as you sat in the chair, a rope tied to your hands painfully. There was blood dripping from your wounds as you cried out in pain.

“Just tell us where he is,” the vampire grabbed your hair, pulling your head up.

“No!” you screamed.

Your face was covered with dried tears, new ones forming. Your eye was bruised.

“You’re gonna talk, kid. Sooner or later,” you felt his fangs enter the skin on your neck as you whimpered. Your body was too weak to move.

“Just let me go, please,” you begged.

You could barely keep your eyes open, crying softly.

---

“What happened to your eye?” Dean walked past you, noticing the darkened skin around your left eye.

“Don't worry about it,” you shook your head, avoiding eye contact with him.

You knew he didn't remember what he did to you last night.

“Me and Sam are going on a hunt,” he said.

“Just you and Sam?” you asked.

“(Y/N), you know you’ll just end up slowing us down. If we need you, we’ll call you,” he replied.

“Right,” you nodded your head softly.

After the two of them left, you ran to your room, stuffing all your belongings into a duffel bag.

Now was finally your chance to leave them. They always hated you, it didn't matter that you were their sister. Your black eye is the least they've done to you while drunk, and you knew you had to leave.

You stood at the door, looking down at the bunker before shaking your head. It was time to go.

---

“Dad?” you opened your eyes, scrunching them as the fluorescent hospital light blinded you.

“(Y/N),” he let out a breath of relief, wrapping his arms around you as you winced.

“You’re not hunting ever again,” your eyes watered slightly as you nodded your head.

“I’m going to set you up with an apartment. You’re leaving this life,” you frowned.

“Dad, no-”

“Yes, (Y/N). You were tortured for information. I am trying to keep you safe, do not argue with me,” he raised his voice slightly.

“How come you never treat Sam and Dean like this?” you scoffed.

“They’re not my daughter. You are,” he said.

“That’s not an excuse. They’re still my brothers. They are still your sons,” you crossed your arms together.

“Enough, (Y/N). I’ll be back in the morning to get you,” he said.

“Dad,” he closed the door, leaving your room while you sighed, slumping in your bed.

---

“Babe? Are you home? I’ve been stuck at work all day, and I know we’re late to pick up…” you dropped your bag on the floor, Sam and Dean standing in front of you while you entered your house.

“Your husband and kid are out,” Dean spoke.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you were sure to take a step back.

“We could ask you the same thing, you know,” Sam scoffed.

“You left us again. You abandoned us again,” Dean clenched his fist in anger as you tensed, feeling fear run throughout your veins.

“I don't… why are you guys here?” your voice was softer as you scratched the back of your neck.

“You can't be here, you’re a danger to my family,” you could feel the nervousness in your veins as you stood firmly. You’ve spent too long afraid of them.

“You son of a bitch. What the hell are we then?!” Dean yelled.

You flinched slightly.

“Why did you leave, (Y/N)? Why did you run away?” Sam’s voice was slightly calmer, anger still evident.

“I couldn't take both of your crap anymore,” you shook your head.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean scoffed.

“The day I left, you asked me how I got that black eye. Because you didn't remember giving it to me that previous night,” you dug your nails into your palm, trying to hold back your tears. Dean immediately scoffed, shaking his head.

“You’re lying,” he said.

“All my life, the two of you have despised everything about me,” you started.

“(Y/N),” Sam opened his mouth.

“Shut up!” you yelled.

You saw a surprised look on both of their faces.

“I never noticed it until I was twelve. I drew a picture for you, Dean. It was a picture of all of us, Mom included. I wanted to give it to you until I overheard you talking with Dad. Y-You told him how much you hated… how much you hated me,” you let a tear fall down your face, as Dean’s softened.

“I always tried to do whatever I could to get you two to like me, or at least to not hate me. But nothing I ever did was good enough,” you sniffled.

“That doesn't change the fact that you abandoned us,” Dean tried to defend himself.

“The first time I left was because a vampire was trying to use me to get to Dad. He didn't want that for me, and so he took me out of the life, at least until he got a lead on Azazel,” you clenched your jaw, letting out a shaky breath.

“T-The… you and Sam used to get really, really drunk. You’d never remember it in the morning. You would h-hurt me. I covered up so many bruises because I didn't want to upset you two,” your voice broke slightly as you looked at Dean.

There were visible tears in his and Sam’s eyes.

“I never knew why you hated me so much. W-Was it because Dad treated me differently? Was it because I’m the youngest? Was it because I reminded you of Mom? Was it because… was it jealousy?” Dean took a step forward, while you quickly took a step back.

“(Y/N), we never meant… We never meant to hurt you,” Sam’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“That’s all you have? Really?” you scoffed.

“Sam, just… (Y/N). Listen to me,” Dean started.

“I was jealous of you. Dad always treated you differently, always treated you specially. I was stupid, and wrong. Every time I did anything for Dad, I would only get into more trouble. Whenever you disobeyed him, he would ignore it. I’ve been jealous of you my whole life. Even now. Y-You have a kid, you have a family. You got out. I’m sorry, kid. I’m so sorry for everything,” you wiped away your tears as you kept a strong face on.

“I need you both to leave,” you said.

“I’m sorry-” Dean said.

“The door. I need you both to leave. Now,” you shook your head.

“(Y/N)...”

“You’re about 34 years too late for an apology. I want you to leave. Don't come back here, stay away from me and my family,” the two of them looked at you in shock, before walking to your front door, while you held it open to them.

Dean gave you a small hug, while you remained stiff.

“Take care of yourself, kiddo,” he gave you a small smile, before walking out of your house.

You closed the door behind the two of them, immediately falling to the ground as you let out a loud sob, feeling your heart racing as you wrapped your arms around yourself. Your sobs died down as you leaned against the door, wrapping your arms around yourself. You needed to stay strong, and they needed to stay away.

398 notes · View notes

sortasirius · 4 years

Text

“Gimme Shelter” and The Bomb

Living in the middle of clown town is always an adventure but they’re recently opened a five star restaurant that’s free to all residents so we’re eatin good lmao.

Wow. Uh. Wow. Lots and lots and lots to unpack here.

This is.........long lmao

I mean. Should we just talk about some of the *cough cough* married details we’ve got going on? That picture of Cas from “Tombstone”? Who took that? Who else COULD have taken that? Why is it a printed photo that Cas just happens to have? Why did it look like it was cut in half?

Okay, I also want to talk about the energy between Dean and Cas, and not the energy of two intensely married people. We haven’t seen them together that much since 15x09 right? I mean we’ve had bits here and there, but to me something still feels off. I just can’t help but go back to the unresolved ending of their time in Purgatory (”I have to say something.” “You don’t have to say it, I heard your prayer.”). It just feels like there’s awkwardness hanging in the air, like when Dean and Sam leave right when Cas gets back, or the way that Dean hangs up on him. It feels like we’re supposed to be sus, which I most definitely am. Things aren’t 100% fixed, even though they’d like us to believe that they are.

Baby man Jack? “Marvelous Marvin the talking teddy, I have one!”

Also just,

“Can we wear matching ties?!”

“Yeah, blue’s a good color on you.”

I CRY.

I think it’s FASCINATING that Rowena is spending her time in Hell making things “boring” for demons, changing things. “People will end up where they belong.” There is NO WAY that’s throwaway.

“Hello! Where can I find the Kool Aid.”

Literal king.

There are a lot of ~parallels~ in this episode, a whole lot of callbacks, and not in the jokey oh hey remember that episode. There are all very deliberate and coded carefully into the dialogue so that even people who watch casually and pay attention will pick up on them.

“We...dated. Years ago, sort of. More like we watched a lot of old movies together.”

Ok.

Which, nbd, same exact fucking episode as

Come on guys. Just like. Come on. Davy. My man.

Good to point out too that Davy Perez also wrote “Tombstone.”

I just want to take a second and appreciate that we at got this Amara this season. No weird drama between her and Dean, just a literal badass who knows she’s a badass. Dabb and co are going to save every poorly written character before this is over.

Cas’ fucking speech y’all.

“I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. And then of course when it all came crashing down, I found myself lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day something changed, something amazing. I...I guess I found a family. And I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. And I rediscovered who I am.”

First of all, we deserved to see this from Cas. We deserve to hear him talk about how much he’s grown, how much he’s changed from the “soldier” in season 4.

Cas found who he was with Jack, with Sam, with Dean. He found out he was a Winchester. His love for others is so palpable this episode, the way he mother hens around Jack, the way he looks at Dean, I just completely adore him, and I loved being able to see him reflect on his own growth.

Okay, moving along to Amara and Dean’s convo...fuck man. F U C K.

Dean’s pain in this scene. His pain over Mary, over the lack of choice. It’s so palpable, and I don’t think anything could have prepared me for Amara’s answer to his “Why?”

“I wanted two things for you, Dean. I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person. That the myth that you’d held on to for so long of a better life, a life where she’d lived was just that. Myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real. That now is always better than then. That you could finally start to accept your life.”

“Hm. And the second thing?”

“I thought having her back would release you. Put that fire out. Your anger. But I guess we both know I failed at that.”

His anger.

His anger through the whole season.

His inability to let go of the anger.

Dean’s anger, his inability to let go, we now know, of course, that his happiness didn’t come from Mary. He still had the fire, he still couldn’t let go of the anger, the rage. So what is it? Not even Amara knows what will bring him peace, she just knows that her solution failed.

And then, as if we needed more parallels to this season:

“I’m furious. To learn that all my life I’ve been nothing but a hamster in a wheel, stuck in a story.”

If that line sounded familiar to you. It’s because it is.

It’s not a common phrase, especially since Davy Perez FILLED this episode with callbacks. We’re in the endgame, nothing is unimportant.

For Dean to bring this line back up, right after Amara tells him that she thought that Mary would bring him peace, that she was wrong in that assumption. For that line to get brought back up when Dean talks about his anger in that scene with Cas, right in the middle of their breakup, where the whole catalyst of his prayer is about his anger, how he can’t let go of his anger. How he’s sorry he got so angry at Cas.

Bruh.

And then, as if all of this wasn’t enough. Jack drops the twist. That he has to die to kill Chuck and Amara.

It’s his own version of the empty deal. That isn’t a mistake. Both are going to come into play, Jack’s deal and Cas’. Mirrors of each other.

Putting his hand on Cas’ shoulder, telling him his death is not Cas’ choice, but his own. I think this, this scene is going to come back into play.

And then to end the episode with Cas telling Dean, telling him about Jack’s death.

“In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know.”

So...our fluff episodes are over.

There’s so much in this episode, but what I think bears repeating at the end is Dean’s anger, what will bring him peace, Jack’s impending death, and Cas’ deal. All of these are going to be our catalysts moving forward. Dean’s anger arc isn’t over, just as Cas’ deal hasn’t been resolved. Next week ~seems~ like it’ll be a fluff episode, but I am certain that it won’t be. There’s gotta be some big to do about what Cas is going to tell Dean.

Idk what to tell y’all other than the volume inside of this clown car is astronomical.

#supernatural #spoilers #spn 15x15 #spn #my meta #destiel

567 notes · View notes

autisticandroids · 3 years

Note

androids!!! what do you think would happen if dean met hotgirl castiel? like, if we're talking canon-compliant?

first of all! this post is really primarily about dean like, holding some transphobic beliefs that i think it would be in character for him to hold, and how those would bump up against a more inescapably genderweird cas! so you know. careful with that.

anyway, so fun fact! i have already answered this question in a couple big long posts!

however i always love to hear the sound of my own voice so i'm going to answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked, which is: how would dean feel if he found out about hot girl castiel. so here’s the thing: what’s interesting to me about this is that it’s a big reveal about cas that cas doesn’t realize is a big reveal. cas is an angel. he’s not gendered. he understands, i think, masculinity and femininity, male roles and female roles. but i don’t think he understands the concept of gender as something one is, rather than something one does. so for example, lily sunder. mirabel lives for a little longer. refers to cas as “she.” cas doesn’t blink, cas is used to being referred to as she. the pronoun used in the third person in enochian for angels isn’t gendered, and it’s closer to “it” than “they,” or perhaps an appropriate translation would be “soldier” or “servant-of-god.” actually while i was typing this i realized that i literally wrote a fic about that when i was fifteen, it was the first spn fic i ever posted and it was on my ffn. i just crossposted it to ao3 just now. anyway, cas doesn’t really realize that swapping vessel genders is something that would make dean re-evaluate anything. hell, cas possessed claire in front of dean and it didn’t make dean rethink anything at all, so why would this?

except the thing is that, as i said in one of the posts i linked earlier, in s4, cas was an angel to dean. he was inhuman, something intensely other. he didn’t have access to the kind of gendering that dean thinks of humans as having, because he wasn’t even really a person to dean yet. but in s12? cas is just a guy, to dean. he’s a person. and people, to dean, have definite genders. so while i’m sure that intellectually dean knows that cas has probably taken a female vessel at some point in the past, being confronted with that knowledge is a bit brain-breaking. like, i would love to sit dean down and make him read some judith butler, but no one has done that. dean doesn’t have any trans friends (if he did he would be a better, healthier person, and might use different pronouns). the idea of someone being another gender than they appear at first glance, or not having a gender, or changing genders over time - all that is foreign to him. the idea that cas could have in some way been a woman, at some point, would shake him.

and like, i’ve already said this in the posts i linked, but the difference there is that dean has time traveled away from his cas. he has some time to process, and another cas who is not his cas to occupy his mind. but when he's with his cas, he wouldn't have the distance. i think he might start actively reevaluating cas' behavior in real time. trying to see if he could see him as a woman. he might reclassify some of cas' actions, in his mind, which had once simply been classified as "weird," as "feminine." i'm not sure how this would change his opinion of cas but i do think it would. i don't know if this would push dean into a personal gender crisis in the same way as meeting hot girl castiel, because again that requires some distance and if he is with his cas he doesn't have distance.

i actually do think this would be more likely to get dean to re-evaluate their relationship than if late season dean time traveled to meet hot girl castiel, because like. in dean's head, this makes his cas.... Kind Of A Woman A Little Bit. he's never seen cas As A Woman so instead he projects womanhood onto his cas. and if cas is Kind Of A Woman, then it's uh. more obvious that cas has been doing Wife Shit for dean for years. and dean has been responding in kind. i think that if dean were to have this realization in lily sunder, and then stuck in the middle with you happened? i think dean would realize cas was in love with him. i don't know if he would realize he was in love with cas yet. i also think he might like...... confront cas about her gender? and they would have an intensely unproductive conversation where they talked past each other because cas REALLY doesn't understand how gender works because he has special autism that makes you genderweird, like, there are definitely angels who have genders and certainly who understand gender but cas Does Not because he is full of angel autism, and dean is like. there are only two genders. g.i. joe and barbie. but i do think this conversation would impress upon dean that cas really is something other than a man (and that that thing is not "secretly a woman") and THAT realization might like. cause him to rethink his concept of gender a little. have little a crisis. as a treat.

i also think that he has a very awkward conversation with sam where he's like. "so is cas kind of..... a chick?" and sam is like dean what the fuck does that mean but externally he's like "why do you say that, dean?" and dean tries to process his feelings about this with sam and sam tries to be supportive. sam has met a trans person at least once in his life but i dunno if he would make the connection between transness and cas immediately because cas is still more of an angel to sam than he is to dean, and also sam finds it less jarring that and angel who is just a guy might still be gendered differently than a human. but he tries to help dean process his feelings about this because he recognizes that it's important to dean. a week later he DOES make the connection and like. prints out a copy of the fucking genderbread person and tries to give dean the Very Enlightened Cis Person Trans 101. because sam has had trans friends before but not close enough friends to open his gender third eye. i am rooting for him because honestly he could use some new pronouns too i think they would be good for him.

edit: i want to be clear that both dean and sam misunderstand cas' gender, it's just that sam's misunderstanding (he's like this because he is an angel) is wrong in a less obvious way and also a misunderstanding cas shares. cas is not like this because she's an angel he's like this because he has autism that makes you not have gender.

#spn #asks #anonymous #transphobia cw

273 notes · View notes

one-more-offbeat-anthem · 3 years

Text

so back in early march i wrote this ficlet for my pal @chaoticdean and yesterday i asked y’all if it needed an easter sequel...enough folks (read: three whole people) said yes so here it is. this can totally be read alone but you get more fluff if you read both 👀

--------------

It’s late Saturday night when Cas decides to ruin Dean’s entire Sunday.

Because Dean’s busy, isn’t he? He has plans, his day is packed. Albeit it’s packed with working in the garage, but it’s packed nonetheless.

None of that seems to matter to the former angel of the lord that he married, who suddenly breaks into their relaxed post-coital atmosphere with, “Can I ask you a favor?”

Dean, like the stupidly in love fool he is, replies, “Of course,” without thinking of the consequences.

“Tomorrow’s Easter,” Cas continues, “And I want to go to church.”

That causes Dean to sit up and prop his head up on his hands. He stares at Cas, who’s just looking at him serenely. “But we don't....celebrate Easter,” Dean counters. “Or any religious holiday, really.”

“Oh, you know I don’t go to church for that part. I like the company.”

“But you don’t have to go to the Easter service,” Dean says.

“But I want to. And I want you to come with me. Jack’s already said he will.”

And that’s that, isn’t it? If Dean’s kid and husband are going, all bets are off, so Dean lets out a laborious sigh. “Fine. I’ll go. But I’m not wearing a suit.”

“That’s alright,” Cas says, and his smile is nearly enough to make this whole thing worth the trouble.

**************

Besides going to Cas’ knitting circle a couple of times, Dean hasn’t actually been to the church Cas is all gung-ho about, but he finds himself there at ten am on Easter Sunday in his nicest pair of jeans and an untucked flannel. They came in Cas’ truck, early, because there won’t be a lot of parking, Dean, and now they’re sitting in a pew. Dean tries not to fidget, but he’s never really been in a church except to gank monsters.

The service isn’t so bad--the flower arrangements and stained glass in the church are pretty, and Cas gets really into the organ and hymns, which is nice to watch. Dean fully zones out during the sermon, although he briefly wonders what the priest would think if he knew that a member of his congregation used to be an angel.

(Cas also doesn’t pay attention during the sermon, and Dean knows this because Cas plays footsie with him the entire time.)

After the final dismissal, Dean is ready to get back to their house. The weather’s nice, so instead of working on one of their cars he’s kind of thinking about helping Cas in his garden. They’ve got some good vegetables coming up, and Sam and Eileen are supposed to come to dinner tomorrow, so it might be nice to harvest some lettuce and carrots.

All of those plans fall apart, though, when Jack disappears momentarily while Dean is in the middle of trying to get Cas to stop talking to Barbara from the knitting group. He comes back with a plate wrapped in foil, and Dean stops tugging on Cas’ hand to look at Jack.

“What’s that?” Dean whispers.

“Cookies,” Jack replies. “Cas and I made them yesterday, remember? For the potluck?”

Dean blanches, and then tugs on Cas’ hand again, finally getting his attention. “Hey sweetheart,” Dean says, “What is this I hear about a potluck?”

“Oh,” Cas replies, “I completely forgot to mention it. But Jack and I made cookies for it.”

He forgot, my ass, Dean thinks to himself, but once again he can see that there’s no getting out of it, so he lets himself get led to the parish hall.

The things he does for love.

The fact that Dean doesn’t know anybody here isn’t as much of a problem as Dean anticipated, because everyone seems to know Cas. At some point, they get cornered by the priest’s wife, who waxes poetic over the cookies they brought and then turns her attention to Dean.

“And we have heard so much about you, honey,” she says, the flowers on her big Easter hat bobbing, and Dean is fairly certain her name is Tracy. “Cas is always talking about his family.”

“All good things, I hope,” Dean jokes, and Tracy nods along.

“Absolutely!” she laughs, and then strikes up a conversation with Jack about vacation bible school this summer, and Dean files that away in his head to mention as an absolutely not later. Something about God himself being a bible school leader feels a little bit wrong, and Dean isn’t even religious.

He turns his attention back to Cas. “So you talk about me, huh?”

“Of course.” Cas inclines his head and says, “But watch out for Elizabeth over there. I showed the knitting group a picture of us and she said you were ruggedly handsome. I think she has a crush.”

Dean laughs. “Don’t worry about that. You’re stuck with me.”

Dean knows that he’s stuck with Cas, too, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. If Dean had to design a perfect Sunday morning, this definitely wouldn’t be it, but it makes Cas happy, and he couldn’t ask for anything better than that.

(Even if Dean doesn’t realize until later that he accidentally set a precedent that he would be more involved in Cas’ social life. Little does he know that this summer he’ll find himself helping fix the church’s old wooden flooring and will somehow get coerced into flipping burgers at the church’s Fourth of July cookout. But that’s a problem for future Dean.)

#sorry this is So Silly y'all #my dad asked what I was writing about and said 'oh if your mom did that to me I would be so mad' bahahahaha #userstarry #usershey #cillabee #casthyelle #offbeatwrites

98 notes · View notes

hawkland · 3 years

Text

My (mostly) Destiel Recs, Round-up #6

Well, between working like crazy on my DCBB fic and GISH and injuring my neck last month I haven’t kept up with my rec posts, so this one is going to be LONG and have a LOT and I’m going to try to break it up into sections, from oldies but goodies (some things I found on very old rec lists) to smutty delights to just tasty little bits of fluff, hopefully there’s something or everyone here. Most of these are not super-long, largely in the 10-25k range, though there are a few beyond that. With all the stuff I’ve had going on I haven’t wanted to lose sleep diving into 100k epics (especially when I’m writing my own right now, lol.)

“Oldies” but Goodies: Here are two great fics written some time way back when but that still definitely slap.

Theodicy by manic_intent (11k) - Probably the most brilliant Godstiel fic I’ve read to date. One of Cas’s first acts as the new god is to make a new archangel. Dean isn’t exactly on board with having his soul re-sculpted into wings he hates on sight (especially as they seem magnetically drawn to Cas), but he isn’t exactly given a choice. He, Sam and Bobby struggle with how to handle their former friend suddenly becoming a vindictive deity - trying to make plans to kill him if they must, which is pretty hard when it seems like Cas is always one step ahead of him. Can Dean hold on to enough of his humanity to provide a conscience to Cas and try to steer him toward good acts instead of destruction? This is one that I can’t say has a perfectly happy ending, but it’s a hopeful and imperfect one that’s just right for how the story plays out.

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow (10k) - Season 5 AU where Dean averts the apocalypse through a spell that “powers up” all the angels and he sees Cas’s true form - before being rendered blind. Dean tries to adjust to his blindness, Cas tries to deal with his guilt, and it’s just a lovely little read with an ending that’s... *chef’s kiss*

Lots more recs below the cut:

More great reads from some of my favorite authors I’ve recced before:

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (21k) - This may be my new favorite DeanRH fic...at least for the moment. The year is 2152, Sam and Dean are long gone to Heaven, while Cas - stuck somewhere between mortal and angel - remains on Earth keeping vigil, keeping up the hunt, assuming he’ll never see either Winchester ever again. But when he starts hearing things, and imagining Dean visiting him as an angel himself, he starts losing grip on what is and isn’t real, and whether he can trust anything he sees or believes to be the truth. This is one hell of a psychological rollercoaster that kept me guessing right along with Cas until the very end. It also has some super-creepy horror elements, a novel “monster of the week”, and the hot-as-sin smut scenes I always expect from this author.

X Marks the Scot by DeanRH (15.9k) A fun little romp through history in one of this author’s great not-quite-au fics. Crowley sends Dean and Sam back in history to the Scottish Highlands to stop a monster, and while there they meet a blue-eyed clan chief who makes Dean weak in the knees. There’s something familiar about him, too. a very clever au that ties back to canon for an unexpected fix-it. Also, Cas in a kilt. Enough said.

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon by DeanRH (12k) - Sweet and slightly angsty AU. What if Dean was a gardener in ancient Babylon when a strange dignitary came to warn that the tower under construction was to be destroyed by angels? Lush, romantic and sexy with some wonderful tie-ins to canon characterizations (of Dean, Sam, John and of course Cas).

sufficient for thee by angelfishofthelord (21k) - This is a beautiful Cas angst-fest and character study that reimagines how angel grace works, particularly in regards to healing others. It covers the whole of Cas’s arc from Season 4 through a post-series fix-it, is absolutely stunning and features some great world-building in regards to the angels. (One important TW: those with cutting/self-harm issues may wish to skip or at least proceed with caution). I love that I can always count on angelfishofthelord when I need a good dose of Cas!whump and pain.

And laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself (13k) - another great Dadstiel fic from this author featuring one of my favorite angsty subjects! I don’t know how I missed reading this one before. An AU where Cas is raising (baby)Jack on his own until the angels find the two of them and prepare to seal Jack away in the Ma’lak box. Cas begs them to let him go with Jack, so at least Jack won’t be alone for eternity. Meanwhile Dean is frantically trying to find what happened to Cas, and he gets some unexpected help from Crowley. It’s sad and sweet and all the characterizations are great. A+ Crowley use here, too.

what stays (and what fades away) by dothraki_shieldmaiden (64k) - a fabulous read with some great art, too, that started me reading a bunch of fic from this author. Cas goes missing, and when he’s found he seems deep under a spell. When they finally manage to awaken him, he doesn’t remember anything of this life with Dean, Sam and Cas in the bunker. The last thing he knew he was a nurse living with his wonderful husband, Dean, and their two adopted children, Jack and Claire. What I loved about this one was the clever twist as to who was behind Cas’s curse and also how well-developed his AU world/existence was. I’m not generally keen on mundane aus or the one-dimensional way a lot of djinn dream fics tend to go for them, but this one managed to capture a believable version of Dean and Cas living a “normal” life without monsters without making it sugary/too-sweet.

before knowing remembers by dothraki_shieldmaiden (14k) Post 15x04, a wonderful fic that plays with some meta topics in a clever way. Dean and Sam are happy - they have free will and they’ve won against Chuck, even if they suffered some big losses along the way (including Jack). But Dean can’t help but think he’s forgetting something...or rather, someone. Yet every time he thinks he remembers, the name and face of that someone slips from his mind.

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden (9k) Post-15x03 where Cas ends up going back to the Gas ‘n Sip and working with Nora after leaving the bunker. A bitter sweet divorce-arc AU and what I love the most is how it ends - not perfect, not tragic, just very real and believable.

15x18 and Post-canon fix-it fics:

Orbital Velocity Around a Celestial Body by LeverDrift (26k) - An angsty but lovely fix-it fic, one where it gets worse for a while before it gets better. Dean pulls Cas from the Empty, where he’d been living in a fantasy world with a dream!Dean who was giving him everything real!Dean is certain he can’t. Dean has to struggle with wondering if Cas would have been better off with dream!Dean instead of him. This is one that will break your heart before putting it back together again as Dean struggles with his self-worth issues.

so good at crashing in by Wintertree (36k) - Another post-finale fix-it where Cas is back, the world is saved, and things are still...not as easy as it should be for either Dean nor Cas. Monsters are gone, there’s no more hunting to be done, and Cas wants to move out of the bunker somewhere closer to Claire, to move on with a proper human life. Dean thinks he can move there with Cas and stay as “best friends”, even to the extent that Cas encourages him to go out and have sex with others/women. (And wants to hear about it after the fact!) But can Dean figure out what he really wants, and what Cas wants as well? A refreshingly unique take on what a post-series life could have looked like for them.

Delicious smut:

Empty by squirrelofcelestialintent (43k) - Every day this fandom makes me rethink my previous squicks and DNWs in fanfic. Here I find myself enjoying quite a bit more dom/sub elements than I normally ever would! I think because I was absolutely drawn in by the breathtaking first chapter, capturing beautifully the emotions of Cas returning from the Empty in Season 13 if he and Dean had confessed their feelings right then and there. But Dean’s self-worth is all fucked up, he feels there’s no way he can be good enough for Cas, especially when his sexual desires run a little bit...let’s just say outside the vanilla and he’s struggling with shame over doing sex work when he was younger. This was HOT and POOR SAM really gets stuck in the middle of, well, hearing more about his brother’s sex life than he ever needed to.

He's My Mate by Hatsonhamburgers (22k) - This fic manages the delightful combination of humor and extreme hotness perfectly. Dean and Cas catch each other in some questionable masturbation situations. This leads Cas to decide he needs to buy Dean some proper sex toys. He’s just helping his best friend out, right? Sure. As I said, hysterical AND hot as hell.

Generals by nanoochka (9k) - Cas/Dean, Cas/Balthazar/Dean, implied past-Cas/Balthazar. An old LJ fic I found on an ancient rec list that is just scorching hot and a brilliant character study of Cas and Dean. Balthazar decides to invite himself in when he catches Dean and Cas engaging in some frisky business, and it turns into a bit of a power-play between the two soldiers of Heaven. Cas gets DP’ed and it’s all...well. It’s fucking good, read it.

The One With The Preening by HolyFuckingHell (5.5k) Can I do a rec post without including some wing!kink/wing!grooming in it? No, I can’t. (I also really enjoyed some of the other fics in this author’s series including The One With Dean's Horny Movies).

A Single Point of Light by Destina (2.4k) - This is a gorgeous Cas/Dean/Benny Purgatory short! A delicious balance of the two each caring for and caring about Dean in their own, protective ways, definitely a delight for any fans of this threesome.

Short and sweet, fluff to angst:

Snugglebird by almaasi (5.3k) - So, so soft and sweet and snuggly, just like the title. Dean’s things are disappearing from the bunker...and so, suddenly, has Cas. What’s going on? I do love my nesting!Cas fics, so...yeah. If you need a smile this is a good one to read :)

And Cleanse Me From My Sin by thisisapaige (1.6k) - another one for my beloveds who also enjoy wing grooming and sweet Dean-taking-care-of-Cas fluff.

Needle and Thread by Misachan (4k) - Season 5 wing!fic hurt/comfort. Cas’s wings are badly injured, Dean doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but he’s stitched up Sam and himself enough times. He can do this. If you love caretaker!Dean and vulnerable!Cas don’t overlook this little gem.

Deceptive Preludes by sp8ce (2.7k) - One of those stories that delves into some of the difficulties Cas might have after coming back from the Empty a second time, especially in regards to accepting what’s real or not, understanding Dean, and how both of their communication issues can add to their struggles. Painful but hopeful for the future, felt very believable as I read it.

#my fic recs #destiel recs #my destiel recs #ok that's it for right now #should be plenty to keep y'all busy for a bit

36 notes · View notes

crashdevlin · 3 years

Text

Fool For Love 10- Compromising

Fool For Love Series Masterlist , Fool For Love Story Masterlist

Author’s Note: Get ready for some heavy angst and some angry alpha Dean acting an ass. This series is also available on Archive.

Summary: Sam is determined to fix things between his brother and their omega, but with Dean stuck in his self-hatred and Y/n stuck in her self-pity, that's a little harder than it seems.

Pairing: former Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader, mentions of Beta!OMC x Beta!Reader

Word count: 3261

Story Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, angst, past kidnapping, Dean having no clue how to fix shit, some awkwardness, 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! knotting sex, heat, oral (fem rec)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you, Sam. I really could have figured it out myself, though,” Y/n said as Sam set the LOMMARP down in her living room.

"Well, I know, but I wanted to help," he said as he stepped back to examine the placement. He bit the inside of his lip for a moment before he cleared his throat. "And, uh, I didn't end up putting it together. It was Dean."

She looked away and sighed. "Yeah,” she responded softly. “I can smell him on it."

"He told me not to tell you, but I didn’t want to lie.”

“Well, thanks for respecting me enough not to lie,” she said, turning away from the bookshelf and sitting on the couch.

“Of course I resp-” Sam took a deep breath. “Y/n, I know that you were burned by Dean’s-”

“I was destroyed by Dean,” she interrupted. “He killed me and then he killed my boyfriend and then he killed my beta existence.”

Sam’s shoulders tightened with tension. “You chose to become an omega again. It wasn’t him.”

“No, it was you,” she reminded, softly. “And yeah, some of it was me. I convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, so I’m at fault for my condition too, but the simple fact of it is that none of this would have happened if Dean hadn’t killed me two years ago.”

Sam took a deep breath and sat next to her on the couch. “You need to talk to him.” She looked over, her eyebrow raised. “Look, I’m very happy to have this time where it’s just you and me and you act like the sun shines out of my ass, but…” Sam licked his lips as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You love Dean and Dean loves you and don’t argue about it because being mad at him for what he’s done doesn’t change the fact that you love him.”

She looked away from him and scratched at her neck so Sam set his hand on her knee. “You wouldn’t have saved him if you didn’t still love him. I know you’re angry. I’m angry too. We lost out on two years with you because Dean fucked up, but we can get past it. We can get past the anger and find the love again...but not if you don’t talk to him.”

"Talking to him is...too hard, Sam."

"No, it's not. I'll be with you. Come on, Y/n." He squeezed her knee and she sighed.

"Okay. But not here...and not at the Bunker. Neutral ground."

Sam smiled. "I know just the place."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The park, Sam? Really?" Dean bitched as he parked the Impala and looked around the parking lot for a sign of Y/n.

"It's neutral, Dean. It's not her place. It's not our place," Sam explained as he pushed open his door and climbed out. "Plus, it's open air so no one can claim that pheromones played a part in the discussion. It’s the best place for this."

Dean rolled his eyes and exited the Chevy, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and sighing. "This is not gonna work."

"Yes, it will. She still loves you. It'll work," Sam promised, walking away toward the picnic area.

"Would you forgive me for all the crap I pulled on-"

"I already have." Dean looked over at Sam, confused, but Sam was looking ahead to where Y/n was sitting at the nearest picnic table. Sam took the spot on the bench next to Y/n and Dean took the middle of the bench on the other side.

Dean's eyes couldn't lift from the table top as Y/n looked over at him, waiting patiently. She knew well how hard it was for Dean to speak on his emotions. "Sorry" would come easily. Admitting when he's messed up was easy for him, but talking out the whys was always hard.

Awkward silence dragged out over a few long moments, Sam opening his mouth to try start the conversation but thinking better of it each time. Dean reached out to pick at a splinter in the wood, absent-mindedly playing with it as Y/n watched.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I-I know that doesn’t mean anything but I am so sorry, Y/n.” He finally looked up and caught her eyes, tears making his olive orbs shine even brighter. “I’m so sorry about everything. I wish I had helped you when you were sick and I wish I had been able to walk away when I found out you were alive. I’m sorry I-I went feral and fucked your entire life up. What I did to your fiance...he didn’t deserve that. He just fell in love with the most wonderful woman in the world and that wasn’t his fault. He didn’t deserve what I did and I’m so sorry.”

Y/n shook her head, anger dripping into her scent. “He didn’t get the chance to actually be my fiance, Dean. You beat him to death before I even had the chance to say ‘yes’.” Tears filled her eyes at the memory of Malcolm covered in blood with his face smashed. “He was a good man. All he ever did was love me, support me, lift me up. And you killed him. You killed him. How is sorry supposed to fix that?”

“It’s not,” Dean answered, shaking his head. “It’s not supposed to fix anything. But I been…” He took a shaky breath and let his tongue out to run along his bottom lip. “Since I woke up and realized what I did, I’ve been sick about it. I ruined everything for you and I ruined everything again after you worked so hard to put together a good life without us and…” He shook his head as tears finally fell. “I’m so sorry.”

"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I was so forgettable that you could toss me aside so easily. I'm sorry I picked beta existence instead of Chuck just taking my marks because if I'd chosen the first option, I'd be the only one affected. Malcolm would still be alive and you never would have gone feral, because you wouldn't be mated anymore." Dean's bottom lip trembled as she stood. "Would've been better for everyone."

"Y/n," Sam started but she shook her head and leaned over Dean.

"I was raped by a demon because of you and you never touched me again after. Do you even understand what that did to my self-worth? Do you understand that I thought I was ruined because my alpha wouldn't touch me? How broken I already was about what that monster did and how I felt so destroyed-"

"It was Amara, Y/n, she got in my head and-"

"And you couldn’t push through it. Not for me…and you couldn’t tell me why and you could-" Dean stood and moved like he was going to grab her, but stopped and stepped back instead. She let out a deep breath and licked her lips. "You hurt me in a hundred ways, Dean."

"I know. I wish I could fix it."

"You're talking again. That's a start," Sam said, moving to stand too.

"Right. A start." Y/n cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes. "I'm, um, gonna get going. I've got work in a half hour."

"Okay," Sam said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. "Love you. Text me?"

"Yeah," she agreed before nodding at Dean and walking toward the parking lot.

The brothers watched her walk away until they couldn't see her anymore. "Told you it wouldn't work," Dean grumbled before walking away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I was thinking we could do dinner...with Dean," Sam suggested as he brought Y/n a cup of coffee. "It's been a few days, you've calmed down. I know you've been thinking about his apology, right?"

She rolled her eyes and took a sip of the coffee. "Yeah. I guess I've been thinking but...it’s...I’m just tired of...compromising, I guess?”

“Compromising?” Sam asked, shaking his head a little.

“Putting aside my feelings and my desires to be...because omegas make things easier, omegas soothe and fix, omegas-”

“You don’t have to-”

“Of course, I do. I’m the omega, it’s my lot in life.” She cleared her throat. “It’s fine. I’m...it’s fine. Let’s just...if you want to have dinner with Dean, we can have dinner with Dean.”

“If you don’t want to, then-” Sam started.

“What I want doesn’t matter,” she dismissed.

“Yes, it does!” Sam argued. “Of course, it does, Y/n.”

“No, it doesn’t, because what I want in my head is a different thing than what I want in my body and my body is going to win out in the end because of these stupid fucking marks.” She closed her eyes tight and scratched her nails across her eyebrows. “It’s okay. It’s fine. Call Dean. We’ll do B&E, get some pizza or something.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure. Gonna have to fix things eventually, right?”

Sam nodded and pulled out his phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was nervous as he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. He wasn’t sure why he kept letting Sam talk him into this stuff. Y/n was never going to forgive him. She shouldn’t. He fucked up. He fucked everything up. He ruined everything.

She was sitting at a booth with Sam when he walked into the pizzeria. Dean swallowed thickly and approached the booth, taking the seat on the opposite side. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Sam and Y/n echoed.

“Have we, uh, have we ordered?”

“No. Figured we should wait. That’s the polite thing, right?” Y/n asked, looking down at the tabletop.

Dean bit his bottom lip and shook his head with a sigh. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this. You’re obviously uncomfortable and-”

“I’m on the edge of my first heat in years,” Y/n interrupted. “I can feel it starting to claw at my insides. Little cramps, uncomfortable anxiety...it’s just been a while since I felt it, okay? That’s why I’m on edge.”

Dean nodded. “Sorry. I...I couldn’t smell it over Sammy’s scent. I...I hope...I mean...I don’t suppose you’re excited about it, but...Sam’s gonna be good to take care-” The powerful way Y/n rolled her eyes stopped Dean mid sentence.

“Sam won’t be enough, dumbass.”

“Y/n,” Sam chastised quietly and Y/n rolled her eyes again.

“He is. If he’s already forgotten how I almost died last time,” Y/n snapped.

“I didn’t forget,” Dean said, softly, picking at his paper napkin. “I just figured you’d wanna go as long as possible without touching me. Figured I’d be a last-ditch effort, keep yourself away from me until you absolutely have to-”

“You think I’d rather subject myself to rejection sickness for a while instead of having sex with you? You think I hate you so much that I’d put myself through that pain again?” she asked, seriously. Dean just shrugged, still not looking at her. She sighed and shook her head. “If I hated you, I’d’ve let you die...feral and lost. I don’t hate you...much as I want to.”

"So...you don't hate me?" Dean asked, shyly.

"I wish I did. I really tried." Y/n shook her head and picked up her drink. "I tried to hate you when you said I wasn't really dying and I tried to hate you in Seattle and I tried to hate you when Sam asked me to save you, but I couldn't. Even after what you did to Mal...I couldn’t." Y/n took a sip as Sam wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "There was so much potential in our relationship. We got through you being a demon and the Mark making you dark...we could have gotten through anything together."

"'Til I killed you," Dean whispered. "And I did. I killed you, Y/n. I'm the reason you left and Chuck found you and I'm so sorry." He looked up and caught Y/n's eyes. "I'm sorry I'm the reason your family thinks you're dead and I'm sorry I hurt you so badly. I'm so sorry."

The server walked up as Y/n opened her mouth to reply, so she stopped. They ordered their food and fell into a tense silence that followed them across the entire meal. Y/n cuddled closer to Sam as they ate. She was feeling needy, her abdomen cramping more the longer she was around her alphas, but she was doing her best to ignore it. She wasn't exactly happy to be reduced to base animal cravings again and she planned to fight it until the fever hit.

Dean picked pepperoni off of his pizza and sneaked looks across the table. "You should hate me," he whispered eventually. "I do."

"You hated yourself before all this," Y/n snapped.

“Yeah.” Dean nodded and stood, tossing a twenty dollar bill on the table. “It made sense then, too.”

Sam stood as Dean started to walk away from the table. “We’ll call you when she starts her heat.”

“Not until she really needs me, Sammy. You should take care of her needs. I don’t deserve-”

Sam shook his head. “She’ll need you faster than you think she will. First heat. It’s just like a first heat, Dean.”

Dean sighed. “Just call me when she needs me. I don’t deserve to touch her.”

“Coward,” Y/n whispered as Dean walked out of the restaurant.

Sam sat next to her and kissed her forehead. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get you through this.”

“Don’t really have much of a choice, do we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n’s temperature spiked as Sam drove her to her house. She squirmed in the passenger seat of the classic pickup truck as she rolled the window down to get air circulating in the cab.

"God, this feels almost as bad as…" she whimpered, curling in on herself.

"As bad as?" Sam asked, reaching over to set his hand on her thigh.

"The first one. The night at the bar," she whined, spreading her legs in silent invitation. Sam slipped his hand further up her thigh and pressed the seam of her jeans into her mound. She grabbed his hand, grinding against it as she made him put more pressure on her. "It's so overwhelming."

"I'll take care of you, Y/n," Sam promised, rubbing at her clit through her jeans.

She was a sweating mess of pheromones by the time Sam got her to her house. Sam held his breath as he moved to pick her up and help her out of the truck. If he breathed in the powerful scent of her, he likely wouldn't make it inside with her. He didn’t need her neighbors to witness him knotting her on the front lawn. She clung to him as he helped her inside, pulling her keys out of her jacket and opening the door. She whined his name as he helped her in and immediately turned right into the bedroom.

They hadn't done more than kiss and grope each other since she came back to Lebanon. Dean had gone further than Sam. As Sam grabbed her head and pressed a fierce kiss to her lips, she clawed at her clothes, desperate to be free of the constricting material. Sam grabbed the collar of her t-shirt and tugged, growling as she gasped against his mouth.

"Pants off. Bed," he commanded, pulling at his own clothes. She scrambled to kick her shoes off and fumbled with the button of her jeans as she stumbled backward toward the mattress. “I’ve been thinking about this for months. Getting between those legs again, listening to you whine. Tasting you. Fuck, I missed the way you taste.”

“Alpha, please,” she whined, dropping back onto the bed and spreading her legs for him.

“God, you are so beautiful,” he whispered, joining her on the bed. He was overwhelmed by the way she smelled and how she looked, sweating and spread out before him. He ran his hand across her collarbone and down into the valley between her breasts, loving the way she pressed herself closer to him. “I’m going to make you feel better, Omega.”

Sam leaned down and took her nipple in his mouth, sucking lightly despite the desire to bite down and make her squirm. Her hand came down and buried in his hair as he laved his tongue over her skin, making the sensitive skin pucker at the attention. Sam couldn’t put into words how much he’d missed the scents and sensations attacking his brain in that moment. A million memories assaulted him as he kissed his way down her body to lick his way along her mound. This was Heaven for Sam. Hearing her noises, hearing her gasps, feeling her fingers grabbing his scalp like her life depended on it, as he feasted on her slick. He wanted nothing more for the rest of his life.

When she came apart on his tongue, he immediately climbed up her body and looked down into her lust-glazed eyes. “Do you want to present or...or should I take you like this or-”

“Let me ride.”

Sam’s cock twitched at the breathless request and he nodded before dropping to the bed beside her. He licked his lips and brushed his hair out of his face as she set her hands on his chest and moved to straddle him. She looked apprehensive for a moment before reaching down and lining his cock up with her entrance. He put his hand over hers on his chest and smiled up at her. “It’s okay, ‘mega.”

She leaned down and kissed him as she started working her way down his shaft. Thick alpha cock filling her up was exactly what she needed and she sighed in relief when he bottomed out inside of her. “Fuck, Sam.”

“You feel perfect, baby. Such a beautiful omega, so tight and wet. Perfect,” Sam praised as she started to roll her hips.

She wouldn’t have admitted to it in Seattle, but she missed this kind of sex. She missed an alpha dick in her, knot swelling at the base. She couldn’t say she dreamed of it, she hadn’t had any sexual dreams. But she did think about it. She thought about Sam and she thought about his brother, her original alpha, her original love. She missed them both. She missed this.

Sam let her work herself into a frenzy. He let her ride as fast as she wanted to. He let her slam her body down on him and only gave quick thrusts every once in a while to let her know he was enjoying himself as much as she was. When his knot started to fill, she leaned down to kiss him again, nails digging into the back of his neck as she finally fell over into oblivion. Sam reached down to grab her hips and braced his feet against the mattress as he started to thrust up into her, chasing his own ending, wanting nothing more than to knot her once more.

His knot caught and they both moaned loudly, kissing as he continued to try to thrust, his cock twitching inside of her. They were dripping sweat and satisfaction as she dropped to lie against his chest. “That...was amazing,” she whispered, panting harshly.

Sam chuckled and held her closer to him. “Yeah. You feeling okay?”

“For now.”

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

#cassie writes stuff #spn fanfic #a/b/o dynamics #alpha!sam #alpha!dean #omega!reader #reader-insert

49 notes · View notes

supernatural-jackles · 4 years

Text

Isolation

Title: Isolation

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 5,224

Warnings: Smidge of Angst, Bit of Pining, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Terrible pickup lines (Thank you Austin Powers), Touch Starvation, More Fluff! Implied Sexy Time. Comfort Fic!!

Summary: When the croatoan virus takes over half the country, you haul ass to the bunker where your two best friends are to keep you safe. Only, one of them you have had feelings for and the other keeps encouraging you to tell him.

Square Filled: The Bunker ( @spndeanbingo) Cuddling ( @spnfluffbingo)

A/N: This one is for Help You Anon, who needs this the most. I also absolutely loveeee how this one turned out! I hope y’all do too!! Happy Reading!

Your heart was beating a mile a minute as you raced down the empty open roads of Lebanon Kansas. You were mere minutes away from your destination and you couldn’t have been any happier. You didn’t want to be out in the open anymore. You didn’t want to run the infinitely large risk that came with it.

You were a hunter and had been since you were old enough to hold a knife. Not that you were allowed in that sense. You came from a long line of hunters. Your dad, his parents before that. It was the Family Business as he told you. Killing evil sons of bitches was the day job, and at times like this, it came with it’s perks. Those perks being the only friends you had.

Sam and Dean Winchester.

You and the Winchester’s went way back. Hell, you’ve known them since you were a kid. They were the only two that you could be completely honest with. They knew the life, just like you did. It also helped that you were in the middle of the two of them. Two years younger than Dean and two years older than Sammy. You fit right in with the two of them. You always had.

You pulled up to the bunker, a place you had been a hundred times. Dean had the garage open for you to park your car inside. You didn’t want to leave it out in the open and attract the wrong kind of people.

Dean was waiting for you in the garage, leaning against the front of his car with his arms crossed over his body. You smiled at the sight of him. He was in single layers. A dark green henley to be exact, and a pair of jeans with a rip in the knee. His usual hunting boots on and a soft smile playing on his pink plump lips. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him.

You put your car in park before cutting the ignition. You kicked the car door open quickly, moving over to him to engulf him in your arms. The smell of his cologne mixed with whiskey filled your nose. A smell you had come to associate with the older Winchester. God, it was good to see him.

“Hi sweetheart,” he beamed, squeezing you once more before releasing you.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” you smiled.

“Thanks for keeping us informed,” he breathed out. “You know you’re more than welcome here.”

“I like to call first,” you winked. “Any idea how this could’ve happened?”

“Sam’s looking into it,” he started. “Is it everywhere?”

“Yeah pretty much. I passed one car on my way here from Sioux Falls, Dean. Everywhere is a ghost town. It’s kind of scary actually! I didn’t want to be alone,” you admitted. “Not out there.”

“Well, your room is exactly the way you left it. We’ve got enough supplies to last us,” he assured you. “C’mon, let’s get you inside.”

Dean helped you carry your bag in from the trunk into the bunker. You protested a little of course, but it was useless when it came to Dean. You followed behind him, shutting the garage door behind you. He led you inside, heading to the library where he knew his brother would be. You brushed the stray piece of hair behind your ear as you got closer to the library. The sight of Sam sitting in his chair made you smile.

“Hiya Sammy,” you called out. He pulled his attention away from his computer, a wide smile appearing on his features. He got up quickly, rounding the table. You met him halfway, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders, squeezing him tightly.

“You look amazing, darlin’,” he told you as his arms snaked around your waist. “It’s been too long.”

“It has,” you agreed. “Lucky for you, you’re stuck with me for awhile.”

“As long as you’re making those cookies,” he chuckled, releasing you from his hold. He had the softest smile playing on his lips, making you feel right at home.

“You got it,” you nodded. “I’ll even make Dean my special apple pie.”

“I knew I said you could stay for a reason,” he let out a laugh. “C’mon sweetheart, let’s get you settled in.”

You followed Dean through the halls of the bunker, heading straight to the room they had for you. It was right next to Dean’s. You had picked it when they let you stay the first time. You wanted to be close to Dean because you felt safer when he was in close proximity. He had always protected you and made you feel safe. Ever since you were little, it had been that way.

“Here we are,” he stopped. Door number twelve. You could see your reflection in the two shiny, gold numbers. You gave Dean a warm smile, reaching for the door handle. You stepped inside first, flicking on the light. The room was exactly the way you left it. Even the papers on the desk. It was your space.

“Thanks for carrying my bag in,” you smiled at him.

“It’s no problem,” he said, placing your bag down on the bed. “You want to get changed into something comfortable? I’ll grab you a beer and make some popcorn. We can watch a movie?”

“I’d love to,” you nodded.

“Good,” he half smiled, turning away to head out of your room.

“Hey De,” you called out.

“Yeah sweetheart?”

“You look good,” you smiled, turning away from him to hide the heat that was rushing to your cheeks.

“Says you, Y/N,” he told you, slipping out of your room quietly.

You couldn’t contain your smile as he shut the door behind him. You had always had a thing for Dean Winchester. Ever since you were a kid. He was cute, of course. But it was his protective nature that really reeled you in. The way he kept you safe. The way he made you laugh, and the way he was with you. He was one of the good ones. Only he saw you as his little sister, and not as anything else. You knew that, and you accepted it a long time ago. The flirty banter between the two of you was just a habit. It was the two of you being comfortable with one another. Just like it was when you played with Sam’s hair during down time.

You pulled out your favourite pair of sweatpants, and an oversized shirt you were sure you stole from Dean years ago. It was something comfortable. You threw your hair up in a messy bun before changing. You couldn’t wait to be hidden in the bunker with your two favourite people.

You slipped out of your room, making your way through the halls once more. The smell of popcorn filled your nose instantly. You were so ready for a movie night with the Winchester’s. You were back in the library, looking over at Sam still glancing at his computer.

“Hey,” you greeted him, walking over to the table. You took a seat on the table, your feet on the chair next to him.

“How are you holdin’ up?” he asked, glancing up at you as he leaned back.

“I’m calming down now that I’m here,” you answered. “Thanks for asking.”

“You looked a little overwhelmed when you got here,” he pointed out. “Not that I blame you. It’s everywhere. I just got off the phone with Garth. He said his town is the same. Croatoan virus.”

“What caused this, Sammy?” you questioned, swallowing hard as you looked down.

“I wish I knew,” he frowned. “Hell, it could be the angels stirring up trouble again.”

“Maybe,” you shrugged.

“Well, you’re safe now. The bunker is warded. You’ve got us,” he smiled. “You and Dean having a movie night?”

“Yeah,” you giggled. “You joining us?”

“Nah, not tonight,” he shook his head. “I’m going to go for a run on the treadmill. Clear my head.”

“You okay?” you furrowed your brows.

“Yeah,” he nodded, casting his head down. “Just - this whole thing is going to be more than we can handle. All those innocent people. Sometimes this job sucks, you know?”

“I get that,” you breathed out, reaching your hand over to hold his. “We’ll figure it out. We always do.” You squeezed his hand.

“You finally going to do something about your crush on Dean,” he changed the subject, giving you a sly smile.

“No,” you chuckled. “Nice try though.”

“Well, we are stuck in here for however long. I don’t want the sexual tension to get to be too much,” he joked, squeezing your hand.

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “Since I’m here, can I braid your hair later?”

“Sure,” he shook his head with a wide smile. “Go have fun with Dean. We’ll hang out tomorrow.”

“Will do. You know where to find me if you need me,” you told him. You hopped off the table, circling around him. You leaned down, pressing a kiss to his cheek before taking off to the kitchen. You could see the look of defeat on his face. You hoped that a good run on the treadmill was going to help him.

You skipped into the kitchen, the smell of the popcorn getting stronger. You saw Dean standing next to the stove with a huge bowl of popcorn next to him. A case of beer was set out, ready for your night to begin.

“You ready?” you asked with a wide smile.

“You know it,” he chuckled. “You want to grab the beer. I’ve got the snacks.” You nodded your head, stepping into the kitchen to grab the beer off the counter. Dean had the popcorn bowl in one hand and the chocolate and candy in the other.

“Lead the way, handsome,” you smiled.

He gave you a soft smile, walking out of the kitchen to head out. You watched the way his legs moved as he made his way to the Dean cave. He had changed into his comfortable sweats and kept his henley on. You loved it when he was comfortable for movie nights.

You stepped onto the Dean cave, smiling at the sight before you. It had changed a lot since you were last in it. It still had the kegs and the foosball table. The old chairs were there, but there was now a bigger couch in there now. One with lots of room for you to get comfortable. Blankets were folded at one end. A big pile of them. There were actual pillows, and a coffee table.

“Look at this place,” you smiled.

“We changed a few things,” he smiled. “You should’ve seen Sam, Cas and I trying to get the couch in here.”

“Oh god, that must have been hilarious,” you beamed, taking a seat on one side of the couch. “What do you feel like watching, Winchester?”

“Uh, what about a classic? I was thinking Austin Powers,” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shall we shag now, or shag later?” you let out a laugh. “You know I’m always for watching that.”

“Alright,” he nodded, grabbing the remote off the table. The bowl of popcorn was set between you. The candy and chocolate next to it. You reached over, taking two beers out of the case. You opened one up for Dean, handing it over to him before opening your own. You took a good sip of it. You felt yourself calming down as the beer hit your empty stomach. You didn’t know how much you needed it until that first sip.

The beginning of the movie was silent. You munched away at the popcorn. Your hands meeting the odd time, making you laugh a little. It was nice to just be able to sit there with him and enjoy a good movie.

Eventually you got tired of the popcorn and it was moved to the table. Dean opened the peanut m&ms and moved a little closer to you. You couldn’t deny that your heart began to race when his thigh pressed to yours.

“How was your last hunt?” He asked towards the end of the movie.

“Good,” you shrugged. “Simple salt and burn. Nothing extensive. I welcome the easy ones these days.”

“Yeah no kidding,” he chuckled. “When was this one?”

“Yesterday actually. Before everything went all fucky. Sam thinks it has something to do with the angels.”

“Me too,” he nodded. “Cas is MIA.”

“Guess we gotta lay low until we know,” you said. “I could definitely do with more movie nights. It’s been awhile.”

“It has,” he nodded. “You still hunting with what’s his name?”

“Cory? And no,” you shook your head. “We uh - parted ways a few months back.”

“Weren’t you two-“

“Yeah, at one point,” you swallowed hard. “But it didn’t mean anything to him and he continued to screw other people. I couldn’t do it. We split and I’ve been on my own ever since.”

“You’re hunting solo?” He asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

“I’m being careful,” you stated.

“Damnit, Y/N!”

“I know,” you breathed out, suddenly finding the label on the bottle interesting. “Truth is, I haven’t been hunting that much. I’ve worked maybe four or five cases since we split. One was with Jody. You guys and the demon hunt. The others were salt and burns. I’m not really on a suicide mission. I know the job kills well enough. I’ve been taking breaks here and there. Working in bars. Hustling pool now and again. It’s been quiet.”

“You could’ve stayed here, you know,” he pointed out.

“I know,” you nodded. “But you also know that I need some space sometimes. Things with Cory - it didn’t feel right. There was so much trust built with us being hunters. Someone I could actually see myself sharing my life with. But he didn’t want to be tied down and I couldn’t trust him after finding that out. It just sucked to find out the person you were with wasn’t the person you thought they were.”

“That why you want to stay with us?” He cocked his eyebrow. “Tired of running?”

“Tired of being alone, Dean,” you admitted. This conversation was getting to be too much for you and you hadn’t had nearly enough to drink to continue it. You didn’t want pity and you didn’t want Dean to find out that you had a big ol’ crush on him either. Some things were better left hidden. This was one of them. “Anyway, I’m glad to be here to watch movies with you, Mr Bigglesworth.”

“Cute,” he let out a laugh. “For the record, Cory’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, he is. He’s not a Winchester,” you smiled.

“No one is as stupid as us,” he joked, nudging you with his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t say that,” you let out a laugh. “More like dumb.”

“Yeah whatever,” he smirked. The end credits rolled up on the screen. Dean reached for the remote, turning the movie off. “You feel like watching the second one?”

“Maybe tomorrow night,” you said as you yawned. “Today was a long day and I’m looking forward to sleeping in a bed that doesn’t have a puke coloured comforter.”

“Alright, fair enough,” he nodded. “C’mon, I’ll walk you to your room.”

You got up off the couch first, stretching your sore muscles before starting to walk to the doorway. Dean was right behind you, his hands on your shoulders as if he wasn’t going to be able to keep up somehow. It made you smile. Then again, a lot of things about Dean made you smile.

You stopped at the number twelve on your door, turning to face Dean. He had a soft smile playing on his lips and his hands were now shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants. He looked a lot happier than you had seen him the last couple of months. His eyes were a little brighter and the bags under his eyes weren’t as bad as they had been. Unless that was the hallway lighting, but even then, it could only do so much.

“Thanks, Dean,” you half smiled, looking up at him.

“You know where to find me if you need me, okay?” he assured you, reaching his hand up to cup your cheek. The simple gesture made your heart soar. You didn’t want to give away the fact that it did.

“Right next to mine,” you breathed out, nodding your head. He moved his hand away, and gave you a half smile before turning to walk back down the hall. There was a part of you that was screaming inside, begging him to come back and stay with you. You didn’t want him to stray too far, and you certainly didn’t want to be on your own again. Not after doing it for the last six months. But Dean was your friend. He wasn’t going to be what Cory was to you. He’s not a warm body to sleep next to, or someone you could have that life with. He was Dean Winchester. “Hey Dean?”

“Yeah?” he turned back to look at you. You took a few steps forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, engulfing him in a hug. He hugged you back instantly. His arms slipping around your waist, tugging you in close to him. You melted against him this time. There was no rush or pressure to get things moving. You got to enjoy the feeling of being in his arms, and that was exactly what you needed.

“Night,” you smiled, releasing him from your arms. You knew if you didn’t then, you weren’t going to.

“Night, sweetheart,” he whispered. You turned back to your room, opening the door without another word.

You took a deep breath as soon as the door shut. The lingering feeling of Dean’s arms was still coursing through you. A feeling you never wanted to stop. It had been so long since you had that kind of affection. Sure, you hugged Sam earlier, but it wasn’t the same as it was from Dean. You fit perfectly in Dean’s arms, it seemed.

You tiptoed your way over to your bed, pulling the comforter back before slipping inside. The sheets were cold against your body at first. The room was a little colder than you were used to. It was that time of year, and it didn’t help that the bunker was underground.

You glanced at your phone for the first time since you got to the bunker. The first thing you saw was a text from Cory. With the Croatoan virus going on, he was looking for a warm bed and someone to hide out with. He tried his hardest to try and reconnect with you when he was lonely. He was the reason why you were too. The reason why you were so touch starved and craved Dean all the more.

You turned over, trying to make yourself more comfortable. The light from the hallway was beaming in the bottom vent. You let out a huff, trying to make yourself comfortable on your pillow. You could always get up and sneak into Dean’s room. Claim you had a nightmare and you didn’t want to be alone. That would at least get you in the door. The rest you could figure out. But at the same time, you didn’t want Dean to know about your feelings for him. You could sleep in Sam’s room with him. It wasn’t Dean though.

You had to suck it up. It was either that, or you were going to run the risk of Dean finding out. You had a choice. You always had a choice. You swallowed hard, throwing the comforter off of you. Your feet hit the cold concrete floor, taking you out of the room and right to the next one.

You could see that Dean’s light was on from the bottom of the door. You could hear him rummaging around in something, indicating he was still wide awake. You took a deep breath. You had to grow a pair. You couldn’t expect yourself to be happy if you weren’t going to do something to make you happy. You reached your hand up, knocking against the wood.

The door opened slowly, revealing Dean in his same clothes and a confused look on his face. You gave him a weak smile, placing your hands together in front of you. You had to try and form the words you needed to get him to let you stay.

“So - uh, turns out I’m not actually that tired,” you said sheepishly. He stepped to the side as a smile spread across his cheeks, opening the door up a little more for you to enter.

“C’mon,” he nodded.

You hesitantly walked inside his room, taking a seat at the bottom of his bed. He had one of his drawers open, and a few clothes on his desk. He was folding them up and putting them away. You recognized a lot of his shirts, hell you had worn a few of them.

“You okay?” he asked you as he folded one of his t-shirts.

“Yeah,” you breathed out. “Just - I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“Tired of being alone?” he questioned.

“So tired of being alone,” you admitted. “Cory texted me earlier. Asking where I was. With this going on out there, he’s looking for a warm body to sleep next to. I’m not going back to that.”

“I don’t blame you,” he nodded. “My bed’s always open. First night’s free.”

“Shut up, Winchester,” you let out a laugh. “My room’s cold.”

“Right, the heater is broken. I went out and bought one for my room. I forgot about that,” he said sheepishly.

You moved up the bed, slipping beneath his covers. His room was at least ten degrees warmer than yours. He finished up folding his shirts and put them away as you made yourself comfortable in his bed. His felt softer than yours, and the pillows were nicer. You were definitely going to take advantage of his bed for the night.

He flicked the light off, leaving the little lamp on before he climbed in the bed to join you. The bed shifted as he positioned himself comfortably. You turned your gaze to him, seeing the soft smile that played on his lips. You could feel his body heat radiating towards you. This was exactly what you needed.

“Night sweetheart,” he muttered.

“Night Dean.”

You gently began to stir hours later. Warmth filled you, followed by the soft thumping sound beneath your head. Every so often, your head would rise and fall. You were pressed against something harder than you expected, but comfortable at the same time.

Holy shit, you had fallen asleep cuddling Dean. Fuck!

You smiled to yourself for a moment, actually allowing yourself to relish in the feeling. You were safe, and protected by Dean. He was holding you to him, letting you cuddle him. God, you had no idea how much you needed this kind of touch. The soft, sweet, worry free hold that you had been deprived from for so long. You missed this more than anything.

“Hey Dean, Jody - shit sorry!” Dean stirred beneath you, effectively waking up to Sam’s voice. You shifted off him instantly, feeling your cheeks heating up at being caught by Sam, and probably by Dean too.

“Mmmh?” Dean groaned.

“Jody called and asked about what’s going on,” he informed the two of you. “I have to say, it’s about time you told him. I told you things would work out. You’ve only been flirting since you were kids.”

“Told me what?” Dean asked gruffly, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.

“Sam,” you warned him.

“I’ll be in the library,” he said sheepishly, leaving the room as fast as he entered it.

“I’m going to go get some coffee on,” you told him, trying to sound as confident as you could. You didn’t want to make it seem like a big deal, even if Sam had just basically told Dean that you had feelings for him.

You slipped out of the bedroom, making your way down the hall to the kitchen. Your stomach was growling, and you desperately needed a cup of coffee to wake you up. Sam already had a pot waiting for the two of you, which you were more than thankful for. You poured yours and another one for Dean when he finally made his way to join you.

You took a seat at the table, taking your first sip of the liquid gold. You took a deep breath, letting the warm drink slide down your throat. Dean sauntered in with his same clothes on from last night. He flashed you a soft smile as he headed straight for his coffee.

“What was Sam talking about this morning?” he asked as he sat down in front of you, his mug in his hand.

“Nothing,” you shook your head. “I think he just thought we were together.”

“Why would he think that?” he chuckled, bringing his mug up to his lips.

“Because I slept in your bed last night,” you pointed out.

“And you were cuddling with me,” he wiggled his eyebrows, earning a groan from your lips.

“What I do in my sleep is not really me, Winchester,” you argued, hoping to ease your way out of this conversation unscaved.

“Oh yeah?” he let out a laugh. “You know you cuddled me the whole night right? Twenty minutes after you climbed into my bed until this morning.”

“You didn’t stop me,” you stated. Your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest. You had no idea where this was going to go. You didn’t want him to be mad or uncomfortable. Hell, it wasn’t the first time it had happened, but Sam just had to go and say something and now you were on trial.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I didn’t. I can see that you’re touch deprived, sweetheart. You’re one of the most affectionate people I know. If cuddling me means you won’t fall back into bed with Cory or someone else, then I’m gonna do it.”

“I’m okay, Dean. Really,” you lied.

“Maybe so, but we all need someone sometime,” he half smiled.

“Even you?”

“Even me,” he swallowed hard. “You want some breakfast?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” you nodded.

“Bacon and eggs?” he offered.

“You know I’d never pass that up.”

He got up from his seat, leaving his half drunk cup of coffee at the table with you. You watched his bowlegs take him over to the fridge, opening it up to grab what he needed to start breakfast. His words were still ringing in your head. He needed someone too. Maybe that was why he didn’t stop you, or protest. He didn’t seem to be that mad at what Sam said either.

You got up from your spot at the table, bringing your coffee with you. You tiptoed your way around the counter. He had his back to you as he started making the bacon. You placed your mug on the island before hopping up on it. You watched as his back muscles moved beneath his shirt. You smiled to yourself. Maybe telling him wouldn’t be that bad. After all, he was Dean. You had known him for years. He was a hunter that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

“Hey Dean,” you breathed out, trying to hide the smile playing on your lips.

“Mmh?” he asked, still focused on the task at hand.

“I kind of lied to you,” you started. “Sam said that this morning because he thought I finally told you how I feel about you.” He turned away from the bacon for this one. His brows were furrowed when he looked at you. He took a few steps towards you, placing his hands on either side of you.

“Are you saying wha I think you’re saying?” he questioned. “You have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you nodded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “I always have. I feel safest when I’m with you. You make all the bad things seem insignificant. You make my heart race, and my palms sweaty.”

“This isn’t one of those ‘if we die’ speeches is it?” he cocked his eyebrow.

“No,” you shook your head. “This is one of those selfish, and probably incredibly stupid moments you and Sam can hold over my head.”

“Not stupid,” he shook his head. “I always thought you had feelings for Sam.”

“W-why?”

“You kiss his cheek all the time. You braid and play with his hair every time you’re here. You usually text him,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t want to kiss you on the cheek because I can barely tell you you look good without blushing. Your hair isn’t long enough for me to braid, but I have played with it when you were sleeping,” you told him. “I just don’t want to annoy you, you know?”

“You’re never annoying me,” he assured you. “Especially when you need me.” His hand came up to your cheek, urging you to look up at him. You gave him a weak smile, meeting his gorgeous green eyes. He leaned into you, brushing his lips gingerly over yours. You smiled against him, kissing him back. You swore your heart skipped a beat. This was everything you wanted. Before you felt safe, now you felt like you were home. You felt like you had a sense of belonging. You were here with him and nothing else in the world mattered more than this moment. Not Cory. Not the Croatoan virus. Nothing but Dean.

“Is something burning?” Sam’s voice called out.

“Shit,” Dean muttered, turning away from you to the stove. The bacon was definitely going to be crispy, maybe a little too crispy. You let out a giggled, bringing your hand up to your lips, that were still tingling from the feeling of his.

“Does this mean I get to sleep in your bed tonight?” you played.

“Oh sweetheart, you get to do more than sleep in my bed tonight,” he told you.

“Guess you like me back, huh?” you half teased. Honestly, you just wanted to hear him say that he did. You wanted to know that Dean Winchester had a crush on you too.

“I’ve liked you since we were seven years old, Y/N,” he stated, turning back around to face you. He took a few steps to you, a soft smile playing on his lips. “You make me feel safe too.”

“Good,” you nodded.

“C’mere,” he smirked, reaching his hand to your chin. He pressed his lips to yours, smiling against you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, tugging him into you as you kissed him back. “Sorry it took croatoan to make me do this.”

“Better now than never,” you giggled. “Shall we shag now or shag later?”

“Do I make you horny baby?” he quoted with a wide grin.

“Mmmh very,” you smirked. “Finish up breakfast and we can definitely go back to bed.”

“Coming right up,” he winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you like it? What was your favourite part? Share your thoughts with me via reblog, reply or send me an ask! Your response is what keeps me going!!

1K notes · View notes

itsgettingcrazieroutthere · 2 years

Note

Not only were we deprived of a great Sam/cas storyline bc of destiel but we also missed out on the cute friendship of Jared and Misha. I dont even like Misha but i could watch him and Jared take the piss out of each other at cons all day long lol

Exactlyyy!

You know, whenever these two are together, they seem so lighthearted. They joke with each other, make fun of each other, prank each other, and, like you said, I could watch them for a long, long time and laugh a lot while doing it.

But Destihellers created this whole narrative of "if Jared does A, it's a crime. But if Misha does A, it's a fun joke!" that is just so hypocritical. Misha can do basically anything and he's the fun guy, the sweetest baby. But if Jared does it, he's a monster, he had the worst possible intentions. The double standards annoy the hell out of me.

About Sam and Cass, it's just plain pathetic what they did with their relationship.

The thing is: I love Dean. He is my second favorite character. But he was never the best friend for Castiel.

Let me make things clear here: I don't think Castiel is a poor baby, an innocent angel. He made mistakes, big mistakes, and there were times in which Dean, and Sam, deserved to be furious with him.

But whenever Cass needed help, whenever he needed reassurance, he couldn't go to Dean.

Sam would always welcome him, though. Sam is the one that consistently treats Castiel well. Sam's is patient, he trusts and respects Castiel, he listens, he comforts, and they could bond on so many things.

But they don't.

On the contrary, Castiel fluctuates between "nothing is worth losing you" and ha! Joke's on you, I don't care about Sam. I mean, he canonically stopped talking to Sam because he had a fight with Dean. He broke Sam's wall to stop Dean. He released Lucifer, after everything Sam sacrificed, and the had the balls to act like the Winchesters were also at fault. I could go on and on and on.

And this is, at least partly, because of Destiel. Or rather, because of destihellers. For them, Cass must be Dean's, Cass can't have other significant, long lasting relationships. Everything Cass does has to be about Dean.

And the writers were too afraid to go against that. I'll give them this: sometimes they tried. But they didn't commit to it: Meg died, Hannah left, then betrayed Castiel, then died. Jack is probably the only exception for that, because, so far (and I just finished ep. 15x12) he is the only consistent, long lasting, significant relationship Castiel has that the show takes the time to develop on screen. Because, yes, the show tell us that Sam is one of Cass' best friends, but they don't actually develop that statement.

Not even Claire was safe from that, his vessel's daughter. Did they interact after S10? I'm middle of rewatching SPN and watching S12 to S15 for the first time, and I don't remember their interactions outside the two or three episodes Claire appeared in S10.

The other part is, of course, the writers' inconsistent characterization and the way they seemed lost with what to do with Cass sometimes. So, whenever they didn't know what to do, they stuck with this cycle: (1) Cass trust the wrong people -> (2) Cass makes a mistake (usually when he tries to fix things by himself) -> (3) Cass' self-confidence gets really low -> (4) Cass tries to make up for his previous mistakes -> go back to (1).

In short, anon, Castiel deserved better, Sam deserved better and Jared deserves so much better. And yes, destihellers are a very big reason for this.

Thanks for the ask and sorry it took me this long to answer it <3

#anti destiel #spn critical #castiel deserves better #sam deserves better #anti jared hate #anti castiel #anti misha #kinda

14 notes · View notes

magicrowiswritingstuff · 4 years

Text

“Not so good News” - Gabriel x pregnant!reader (3/3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (you’re here)

Summary: Part 3 of “Not so good News”! Read the first part HERE. After you had received the news of your pregnancy you feel rather conflicted. On one hand you want this child to live but on the other hand this also means you will die giving birth. Your only option is to enjoy the time you have left with the people you love, forcing your dark thoughts to the back of your head. (F/N) means friend’s name.

Warning: dark thoughts/themes, suggestive themes, heavy angst, swear words, death, child birth (not a warning but maybe someone is squeamish)

Category: angst and fluff, even more angst

Words: about 9.000

Note 1: So, the mini-series is finished. I hope you will enjoy/enjoyed the last part. This series was a pain in the ass to write... so much research and asking relatives if it’s accurate. Though, it probably isn’t because it is fanfiction after all. Note 2: I have another Gabriel story linked in my masterlist, that one is more fluffy (And another short series in the works but pst). And I will definitely write more about/with him because I love him, all right?! I love hand hate him at the same time.

_________________________________

"Not so good News" - Gabriel x pregnant!reader

Pregnancy week 20: The pregnancy was now at its halfway point which also meant that you probably had only twenty more weeks to live. What it also meant was twenty more weeks of pregnancy symptoms and to be honest you were sick of it. Sometimes even literally. You had been so dizzy lately you even blacked out during research. Sam and Dean weren't happy, thinking that you had over worked yourself and Gabriel immediately teleported you to your room after you had woken up again. So now you were on bed rest, or rather jail time. You laid on your back with your arms crossed before you and a pouty look on your face. "This sucks." You wanted to do more than laying around all day however there wasn't really much to do in the bunker especially on your own. You stood up from your bed and walked towards a shelve on the right side. Somewhere underneath all the stuff you had there had to be the thing you were looking for. "Aha!" you grabbed it and left the room, searching for the boys. You found them still sitting in the library, looking for their next hunt but the moment you stepped in all eyes were on you. "(Y/N), what are you doing up?" Gabriel asked with one eyebrow raised in question. You let the box you were holding fall onto the table. "No longer wasting my time" you declared and sat down, opening the box and arranging its content. "I want to spend time with you all and by that I'm not thinking about researching with you." You looked up at the four guys who slowly turned to you and the game you were setting up.

"So, we are playing monopoly now!"

"Only if I get to be the car" Dean said and immediately snatched it for himself. Sam rolled his eyes at him and took the dog. "How do you play?" Castiel asked confused, grabbing the shoe because it was closest to him. You threw him a small smile. "I'll show you." You then turned to Gabriel, offering him to choose his playing piece but he shook his head. "I always play with my own token" he said and snapped his fingers. In front of him appeared a small figurine of himself. You glanced at him with your lips pressed into a thin line to hold back a giggle. "Really?" you questioned as a short breath of laughter escaped your mouth. The archangel shrugged his shoulders. "Want one, too?" he asked, his fingers ready. You shook your head. "No, it's alright. I'll just take the cat." After you had set everything up and explained the rules to Castiel the game began. However, unsurprisingly Cas was still the first person to go bankrupt. Sam soon followed, selling his last green street to Dean. He mumbled something under his breath before throwing the dog back into the box. So now it was only you, Dean and Gabe. "You owe me 600, Dean" you said, pointing on the last light blue street where Dean had his car parked in front of the hotel you had recently built there. "What? How?! You only have shit streets" he complained and gave you the money reluctantly. You chuckled. "Yes, but I got a lot of shit streets." Dean only huffed which made you laugh. You had to throw dice next and landed on the police man. With a theatrical sigh you put your cat in jail, throwing the dice to Gabe. He grinned at you before rolling them. He landed on the middle orange street. Now you were the one grinning at him: "That makes 550." "You have one good street, only one hotel and maybe two to three houses on a street. How are you making so much money?" Gabriel asked after giving you the game money. You shrugged your shoulders. "I have three complete streets: brown and light blue at the beginning on which always someone ends up on. And in the beginning it doesn't feel like much money but it stacks up. And the orange one is often overlooked because the red one has higher prices but people always end up somewhere in that corner, too. Dean rolled his eyes, taking the dice. "Also, you two only have one complete street which lowers the change of getting much money because I bought one dark blue and one yellow one to stop you" you added and leaned back against your chair. "How about a little trade then" Gabriel suggested. "I want the dark blue street you stole from me and I can give you 350 and a get out of jail free-card." "Why would I want that?" you questioned with one raised eyebrow. "I still get money in jail but I don't lose anything for three turns. It's a win-win for me, I'm staying here." The archangel huffed. "Alright, 400 bucks and a train station. Last offer." You shook your head, staying stoic. Turning towards Dean you nodded at him, signaling that you were finished and that he could roll the dice. He got a nine, landing on the same orange street like Gabe did before him. You grinned evilly at him. "550, Dean." "I don't have enough money in cash I need to sell houses first" he explained, giving you six of his green houses from his pink street (you were playing as the bank too). You exchanged them for 300 which you kept and waited for the remaining 250. "Dean, I noticed you are short with money" you said after you had rolled the dice, still stuck in jail. "How about a little trait?" Gabriel shock his head at Dean, whispering "She's too powerful already, don't" which only made you grin. "I want the yellow street you have" you pointed at the card before offering your hand to Dean. "And in exchange I will give you your 550 bucks back." Gabriel continued to shake his head but Dean grabbed your hand, agreeing to the deal. You then turned to the archangel. "Gabe, you want your blue street, right? And I want the last yellow one you have" you said, your eyes sparkling mischievously. "I will give you the blue one if I get the yellow one and 350 bucks." He reluctantly agreed. And so the game went on. Cas and Sam stayed, watching it all go down quietly as Dean lost his last street to you after having to sell his pink one to Gabe completely as well as his train stations. It was a pretty equal distribution of streets, however after about a half hour later you ended up winning. Grinning you put the cards back into their box. "Your strategy really just is to buy all the shit streets at the very beginning and slowly watching as we lose all our money to them?" Dean questioned. You nodded. "Yep, and a few other moves helped me win, too but I won't tell you more than that." All things considered you had a lot of fun and the others did too. "Now you will finally get rid of me again" you said while standing up, smiling at them playfully. "I'll go back to bed. I'm exhausted and my legs are killing me." With that you turned around and walked back to your room in silence. Or at least you had planned to do that, however you heard footsteps following you. Looking over your shoulder you saw Gabriel running after you. You stopped with a grin, waiting for him. When he caught up he didn't say anything so you continued your way back with him by your side. "Thanks for letting me win" you said and shoved his side. "I did not do such a thing" he declared swollen, grinning down at you which made you laugh. "I know but you could have tricked us all anyway for you to win but you didn't do it." "I retired from my trickster days, sugar" the archangel reminded you. "Yes, but we both know that you would never stop messing with us" you said. Throwing him a side glance you smiled at him. "I'm amazed that you didn't play a prank at Dean for a while now." Gabriel chuckled and wrapped one arm around you. "Don't let yourself be fooled, (Y/N)." You grinned and then wrapped your arm around him too, pressing your head against his shoulder. "Thank you" you whispered so faintly you worried he wouldn't catch it. "For what?" he asked with a chuckle. You only shrugged. "I don’t know. I guess for everything." ____________________ Pregnancy week 22: In the last two weeks nothing much changed or happened. Your belly continued to grow and pregnancy symptoms were still haunting you. Your legs cramped so much now you didn't really want to move out of bed. So, you didn't. You stayed in bed all day. "At first you desperately wanted to do something you even overworked yourself into blacking out and now you are lying in bed all day" Gabriel chuckled beside you, nuzzling his nose against your neck. You huffed and turned your head so you could look at him. "Firstly, you're not pregnant so shut up" you sassed back at him but stayed silent after that, turning on your side again so your back faced the archangel. You felt Gabriel squirm behind you. "Secondly?" "Nothing, that is all there was" you said which earned you a hearty laugh from him. "You're adorable" he said and wrapped his arms around you. Now you were the one to squirm, trying to get out of his grip. "Am not!" you proclaimed. "I'm an angry pregnant lady, fear me." You succeeded in freeing yourself and were now sitting on your knees before Gabriel. "I'm trembling underneath your gaze, spear me" he managed to get out between his laughter. With a pouty look you threw a pillow in his face. "You're making fun of me!" you pointed out accusingly. "I would never" he declared with one hand pressed against his chest in shock as he sat up as well. "I don't believe you" you said and crossed your arms before your chest while desperately trying to suppressed your grin. "Oh, furious pregnant lady, how can I prove myself?" Gabriel asked and slowly crawled closer to you. You had to let yourself fall back against the cushions with the archangel now leaning over you. "Hmm" you hummed and pretended to think about it while Gabriel's face slowly got closer to your neck. You shuddered, feeling his breath dance over the sensitive skin. "Helping me with my crampy legs would be a start" you whispered. Without hesitation the archangel set up and shifted his focus to your cramped legs and feet. He slowly massaged from your feet upwards. By now your eyes were already closed and soft hums left your lips now and then. You just enjoyed the feeling of the pain slowly washing away. Or at least you did until Gabe's hands wandered up to the inner side of your thighs. One of your eyes snapped open, glaring at the archangel. "What are you doing?" you questioned with a low voice. "Shh" he breathed and crawled back over you. Instinctively you wrapped your arms around his neck but continued to eye him suspiciously. "Let me spoil you." "You don't need to" you said while Gabriel had already started to pepper your face with kisses. "Oh, but I want to" he kissed the top of your nose which made you giggle. He continued to place kisses on your face before slowly wandering down towards your neck. Occasionally a hum or sigh left your lips as you let yourself relax under his caresses. "What do you want to do?" he suddenly asked. You opened your eyes that had been closed until now and saw him hovering over you again. "What?" you questioned. "What's on your bucket list?" Now you understood. You let your arms fall from his shoulders as you thought about it, letting your eyes wander around the ceiling. "I-" you looked at the archangel. "I don't know." "Really? There is nothing you can think of" Gabriel asked with one raised eyebrow. You shook your head. "I just never thought about it before... And I guess you had finished yours long before you even met me" you said, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. But to your surprise the archangel shook his head. "I achieved my last one only a few years ago." "And what would that have been?" you asked. Gabe's gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips before moving back up. A small smile adorned his face as he spoke up again: "Falling in love." Immediately you felt your face heat up. "You're just saying that to make me feel better" you said, trying to cover your face with your hands but Gabriel pushed them down and shrugged his shoulders. "What about when you were a kid?" he continued to ask. "What did you wish for then?" "Expect a real pink unicorn and ice-cream for every meal?" you laughed before losing yourself in your thoughts again. "I guess ... getting married someday." You felt Gabriel stiffen up above you, making you tense up, too. Shaking your hands in front of your chest as far as possible you backtracked immediately. "Not that we have to. It's just a silly kids thing, you know. Back then we had plenty of games about our future or talked about family and marriage. It was just normal, expected. Ahh! Not that I expect it from you. I don't want you to propose or anything. I-" you noticed that you were rambling so you forced yourself to stop and took a deep breath." I shouldn't have said that." Now you really did cover your face with your hands, wishing to disappear. Though you never talked with Gabe about marriage or anything like that you always knew it would be a tricky subject. With him being practically immortal and marriage always or often associated with religion. You just guessed he didn't want to since he had always tried to distance himself from God and heaven and all that. And since he was an angel, an archangel ... you could promise him to spend your remaining life with him. He couldn't. And now was definitely not the time to marry since you would die in less than twenty weeks anyway. "I'm sorry" you said without really knowing why. Maybe you just wanted to break the silence that seemed to lay heavily in the air. "Don't be" the archangel said, caressing your check with one hand. "But I knew it would be a tricky subject to you." "How so?" "Well" you dragged on and slowly uncovered your face. "I just guessed and by your reaction..." You didn't continue speaking as Gabriel sat up on his knees. Lifting yourself up on your elbows you eyed him confused. Was the subject so repulsing to him? "You mean because I stiffened up?" You nodded. Gabriel let out one breathy laugh. "I was just surprised and shocked because I-" he snapped his fingers and opened his hand revealing a ring. "-actually wanted to give you this." You straightened up completely shocked. Your eyes darting from his face to his outstretched palm. "Wha-" "They aren't wedding rings. More like a promise ring, really" he explained as you slowly reached out to take the ring from him. He was right, it didn't look like the typical engagement or wedding ring. It was a silver ring, shaped into a feather that would curl around your finger. "For what?" you asked and looked up, the ring still uselessly lying in your palm. Gabriel raised his right hand, revealing a silver ring on his finger that hadn’t been there before. This one had the typical form of a ring, however the feather was engraved into it. "To promise that I will always love you." You felt tears in your eyes as you jumped forward, tackling the archangel in a hug. "You always make me cry" you complained but honestly it probably was because of the hormones. You stifled your sobs in his shirt as you pressed yourself flat against him, so you even felt his laughter vibrate through his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, too. "Can I?" he asked after a while and pushed you from him. He took the ring back from you and offered his other hand for yours to put inside. You didn't hesitate to do so but felt your face heat up again as he looked at you with love filled eyes. He slipped the ring onto your finger, gave you one last, long look before letting go of your hand. You looked at the delicate feather wrapped around your ring finger. "Thank you" you said with tears still clinging to your face but a big smile on your lips. You wrapped your arms around him again, burying your face into his chest ____________________ Pregnancy week 23: You had thought hard about what to put on your bucket list ever since Gabriel brought it up. However, it was pretty hard to find things you were able to do because of your condition (pregnant) and your situation (kind of trapped in the bunker). One thing you couldn't get out of your mind though was to see the northern lights far away from any other light source, no cities or other people. You couldn't shake it off even if it meant leaving the bunker. Your second idea was maybe rather cliché and not so impossible: having a family dinner without anything to worry about and no arguments to destroy the mood. "Hey, Gabe?" you asked while entering the library. The archangel immediately looked up from whatever he was doing, beaming at you. "What's the matter?" You sat down on the chair opposite to him. "I was thinking about what you said" you started. "What exactly? I talk a lot" he questioned, resting his head on one palm. You snorted in agreement. "About what I wanted to do, about my bucket list" you reminded him. "And I came up with two things." "Only two? If I knew you were so easy to please I-" you cut him off by throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at his face. "I wanted to ask if you had any ideas or further inspirations for things to achieve in the bunker" you paused. "Okay, I have only one thing for my list because for the first one I would have to leave." "What would that be?" Gabriel asked, putting his head in his other palm while closing the book he was looking at. "I always wanted to see the northern lights far away from civilization" you confessed and looked to the side, pushing one stray strand of hair back. "And my second point was having a family dinner." "With your parents?" Gabriel asked which made you flinch. Maybe you should have expected that since you had never talked with him about your life before becoming a hunter. Still, hearing the word stung a lot. "I never told you why I became a hunter, right?" Gabriel nodded confused and you took a deep breath. "My parents died when I was maybe 14" you explained, not meeting his eyes. "They were killed by a werewolf and I only survived because a hunter rushed in. He shot the werewolf and took me in. He taught me everything he knew but I was still traumatized, refused to leave the house after sunset. Still ... he was like a father to me. And then when I just turned 19 he was possessed by a demon after his tattoo was burned from his skin. The demon inside him stabbed him in the heart before I was able to exorcize him" you finished and wiped away the tears that had found their way over your cheeks. Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, making you flinch again. Looking up you saw Gabriel standing beside you. You hadn't noticed that he had stood up. "I'm fine" you said, not believing even yourself. The archangel didn't say anything, just let his hand rest on your shoulder, sending you comfort through his touch. "Anyway, why did I tell you that again?" you shook your head, trying to rid yourself from the sad memories. "Ah, right. So, when I say family who I mean by that are Dean, Sam, Cas and you, Gabe." You looked up at him with the tiniest smiles on your lips as the archangel wiped away the last tear from your check. "The only problem with a family dinner is that I think it will escalate like always. Especially since I know that Dean is still looking for another way, a way to safe me in secret. Even though I forbid it" you only mumbled the last part. Gabriel grinned and bopped your nose. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, sugar" Gabriel said. "It's late, you should go to bed." You stood up, nodding and wrapping your arms around the archangel still craving his touch. He returned the hug. "I will be with you shortly I need to finish this first." You nodded once more, hugged him for a few moments more before letting go. "Good night" you said and stretched yourself on your tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the lips before vanishing into your room. You had fallen asleep immediately. "(Y/N)!" you squirmed under your blanket, not ready to wake up just yet. You felt something, or someone next to you and a hand on your shoulder slowly shaking you awake but still you didn't really budge. "Let me sleep" you complained and covered your head with the warm blanket. "Next time, sugar. Now you need to wake up." You opened your eyes, pulling the blanket down and let them wander from Gabe's in shadow casted form to your clock standing on your bedside table. "It's not even three in the morning, what the hell" you grumbled. "A pregnant lady needs her sleep." Suddenly you were pulled out of the comfort of your bed and instead stood on wobbly legs in your room. "What are you doing?" you questioned, holding onto Gabriel's hands. "You wanted to see something, sugar." Confused you freed one of your hands and rubbed your eyes. "My brain's too tired to function, Gabe. Can't it wait till, I don't know, when the sun is shining?" you begged and suppressed a yawn. You could vaguely see the archangel shake his head in the darkness of your room. "Believe me, it will be worth it" he promised. You closed your eyes and rubbed the bridge of your nose. "I really hope you're right." And suddenly when you opened your eyes again you weren't in your room anymore. Confused you looked around. You were standing in the middle of a snowy landscape. Immediately you thought you would be cold but when you looked down at you, you saw that you were wearing a big coat, dark ski pants and a fluffy hat instead of your pajama. "What the hell" you whispered and turned around to look at Gabriel who -even though he didn't really needed it- matched his outfit to yours. He stood behind you with a huge grin. "Look up, sugar" he said and so you did. You hold your breath as you looked at the clear night sky with thousands of twinkling stars. But they weren't catching your attention, no. What had captured your imagination were the northern lights shining above your head. Magnificent colors danced above you, fading from green to blue to purplish pink. And even though your neck already started to hurt from constantly looking up you didn't care, too fascinated by the alluring dance. It looked like you had dipped your head into another world, another universe full of beautiful, vivid colors that were swaying and changing, illuminating the world around you. "It's amazing" you breathed when you felt the archangel take a step closer to you and turned around to meet Gabe's gaze again. "Thank you." Out of instinct you twirled the ring he had gave you before you looked up at the sky again, losing yourself in the endless colors swirling through the carpet of stars on this cold September night in who knows which country you were right now. "Dean and Sam will kill you if they figure out you let me leave the bunker" you stated with your eyes still glued to the aurora lights. "Not if you don't tell them" Gabriel noted. You turned around, wanted to say something but when you opened your mouth to speak only a shallow breath escaped out of it as you wrapped your arms around your stomach. Twisting your face into a frown you leaned forward. "(Y/N)?!" Gabriel asked panicked and walked in front of you. He put his hands on your shoulders to straighten you up again. "Are you alright? Are you in pain? What's going on?" For a few more seconds you didn't answer, stared at the ground with your arms still tightly wrapped around yourself. You felt it again and it was then you realized what this was. You let out a pained laugh. "Yes, everything's fine" you reassured the worried archangel with a small smile. Grabbing one of his hands which were still resting on your shoulder you directed it to your still growing bump. You had to wait a few moments with your hand on top of his before you felt it again. Gabriel flinched and you still saw worry in his eyes but when he looked up from your stomach and searched for your gaze, he slowly relaxed when he saw the softness in your eyes. "Are these...?" "Her first kicks? Yes." In the next couple of seconds you saw every emotion washing over his face. Happiness, relief, love, peace, joy but also worry, fear and panic. But it wasn't the type of panic that shook to your core, making your tense up and freeze. No, it was that type of panic a soon to be Dad had when realizing he would have to care for a small helpless baby soon. It was the first time you saw this fatherly panic on his face ever since the beginning, ever since the big news of you being pregnant. "She's quite strong. Knocked the air right out of me" you huffed while intervening your free hand with his other hand. "Archangel genes" Gabriel laughed. "Yes" you breathed, leaning into his touch with a smile. You two stayed like that for many moments more, enjoying each other's presence underneath the fantastical sky. You twirled the ring on your finger again. You felt the happiest ever since all this had started. This was probably the happiest day you had in a long time. ____________________ Pregnancy week 30: You felt like you had eaten a bowling ball or something like that. Your belly was extremely round and weighted a total of proud 25 pounds more of which the baby accounted for about 3 pounds. It was late October so you had about 2 and a half more months to life. You calculated with the help of your friend (F/N) that the baby would be due around the second week of January. Having these thoughts were scary. Normally the dated day of birth was something the parents craved, finally being able to hold their baby in their hands. But you, you were resenting it, you feared it. You thought you had left these thoughts behind but they haunted you even more now that the day got closer and closer. The last few months were hard, being pregnant in summer were hard but luckily the bunker could be regulated so you never really felt to hot. But now you were freezing even though the heater operates at full stretch so you just wrapped yourself into blankets all the time just like now. You were sitting on the sofa in the library again, the cup of tea you had been drinking was already empty. You sighed, feeling lonely. The guys had left a few days ago for a hunt which had required all of them so you were left behind for possible research again. You wanted nothing more than to cuddle with your favorite archangel right now and it seemed like he had heard your silent wish. You heard the unmistakably flutter of wings behind you and turned your head to look at him. "Gabe? What are you doing here? Is the hunt already finished?" you asked, looking around in search for the others but nobody was there. "No, it's just me" he declared. "And what are you doing here then?" "I just wanted to spend some time with my two beautiful girls" Gabriel said and sat down beside you. You snorted because of his cheesy comment but put your head on his shoulder anyway, nuzzling into his side still wrapped in your blanket as he laid one hand on your stomach waiting for a kick. Your little, heavy light bulb grew very active ever since you saw the northern lights but she seemed to like to kick around at night and sleep during the day. "I don't want to ruin the mood" you said after a long time of silence in which your thoughts continued to suffocated you. "...but I'm afraid, Gabe." You didn't move or look up just pressed yourself flat against him. "I just... wish I could hold her before I.." you didn't finish but you knew Gabriel understood what you meant. "I'm sorry, sugar" he said nuzzling his face in your hair and kissing the very top of your head. "You don't have to be, Gabriel, it's not your fault. And I wanted to have the baby so I just have to come to terms with the consequences of that decision" you explained. "Give me some of the credit, too, sweetcheeks" he cupped your face with one hand, directing your gaze at him as his face hovered inches above yours. "I worked very hard on that baby." You tried to bite back the laugh bubbling in your throat as you pushed his face away from you. "Gabe!" you screeched embarrassed even though he was the only one in the bunker. Giggling you shook your head. "Nice to see you didn't change since the pregnancy started." "I'll never change, you know that, sugar." You shook your head in disapproval. "That's not true, you did change" you noted. "You stopped your playboy days and stayed by my side." "Ah, well. You're just so interesting. How could I not stay a little longer to figure all the ways out to make you come undone" he said and wiggled his eyebrows as you slapped his shoulder with a gloomy look in your eyes. "I take that back, still one hundred percent the same archangel that I met years ago." Crossing your arms before your chest you held your head high as you ignored his laughter. "Oh, come on, honeybun" Gabriel laughed. "Don't ignore me." You huffed, giving him the cold shoulder while desperately trying to suppress your own laughter. "Stop ignoring me, (Y/N) or I will have to take drastic measures" he playfully growled and if you had turned around to look at him you probably would have seen the desire bubbling in his eyes. "You now I can't resist when you play hard to get." Finally, you turned around to meet his fiery gaze. "Oh, really?" you asked innocently. "I never noticed." Your faces were now only inches away from each other, his breath hot on your lips as he tried to hold back. It was nice seeing you still had this effect on him. You loved to watch him try to suppress it, to not give in and still losing to it every time: his desire for you. "You know, we are alone right now" you said with a grin as your eyes darted between Gabe's and his lips. "Oh, I know" Gabriel growled as his gaze fixated on your mouth. "And I intend to relish every second of it." ____________________ Pregnancy week 34: Only about six more weeks to live. It felt like a countdown. You tried to enjoy and appreciate every day and every second you had left, spent a lot of time with Gabriel, Dean, Sam or Cas. However, you couldn't prevent or deny that you were getting more distant. You didn't do it intentionally, or at least you thought so. Okay, maybe you tried to make everything easier for you and the guys. You would leave them, there was no going around that even though you knew Dean hadn't abandoned the plan of finding another solution, a way of saving you. It was just written in his genes apparently. But he hadn't brought anything up and you knew it was hopeless. The only thing you could think of was making a deal with a demon. Your life for someone else's but you wouldn't allow anyone to sacrifice themselves for you. And you weren't even sure if a demon could grant this wish, if they had more power than a half angel child. The last few weeks you had mayor back pains because your stomach had grown so much. Every sleeping position was uncomfortable, sitting was unbearable. Your bump was so big now you couldn't even put on shoes on your own. You felt more useless and moody, too but you weren't sure if it was because of the hormones or because you knew it would happen soon, it would end soon. You put one hand on your stomach, feeling the little light bulb (it became an agreed nickname for the baby between you and Gabe) move around. You noticed that she liked to lie on the right side more than on the left, leaving a little elevation there. Smiling you caressed your unborn baby. You just wished you had more time. ____________________ Pregnancy week 38: It was the fore last week but on a brighter spirit it was also Christmas. You haven't really celebrated Christmas ever since you were a child, ever since your parents were still alive. Of course, when you teamed up with Sam and Dean you exchanged gifts you had bought the day before but it was never a huge deal. You never really cared about the presents anyway. So, you expected that wouldn't change even if it was your last ever Christmas. You had stayed in bed all day, trying to find some rest after your baby girl had kept you awake almost all night. Was that why every mom awaited the birth so desperately? To finally sleep again and be free from all those pregnancy symptoms? A heavy sigh left your lips as you opened your eyes to look at the clock. It was about four pm and if you didn't stand up soon you wouldn't find sleep this night, too. With a groan you rolled out of bed and rubbed your eyes. Maybe hanging out with the guys would lift your spirit. Thinking about them ... you haven't seen them all day. Furrowing your eyebrows, you wondered what they were possibly doing. Had they found another hunt? Were they researching something? Stretching your back you slowly began your way to the library in search for anyone. "Guys?" you asked as you turned around the corner, still rubbing your sleepy eyes. "What were you doing all da-" you froze as you laid eyes on the library. The room was fully decorated with Christmas lights and even a small Christmas tree was standing in one corner, decked out with balls and lights. "What the hell" you mumbled and stepped into the room, your eyes glued to Sam and Dean who were putting the last decorations on the tables. "Oh, fuck" Dean said after noticing you. "Ehm, surprise?" You chuckled. "Well, yeah. I am surprised. Why are you decorating the library." "We thought we should celebrate Christmas this time" Sam explained, leaving out the obvious reason why. You nodded. "I appreciate it but I hope you didn't get me any presents because I was unable to buy anything for you." The two brothers shook their heads. "Nope, no gifts. Only decorations and something festive to eat" Dean declared. "It's gonna be burgers, right?" you questioned and crossed your arms before your chest. The slight blush on Dean's cheeks told you enough. "Good, because I'm starving and would kill for a burger right now." "Did I hear someone say burger?" You looked at the big entrance, seeing Gabe with bags in his hands. "Because I just so happen to have some." Laughing you sat down on one of the chairs, awaiting the festive meal. The three guys sat down too and Cas joined you soon after even though he didn't eat anything. At first you just looked around the room, eyes filled with childish wonder. You had missed the warm lights, the smell of Christmas that came just because of the atmosphere around you. You quickly lost yourself in conversation. Chatting about anything and everything. After a long time, you didn't worry, didn't fear the next day, the next week. You lived and just enjoyed the moment. The warmth that surrounded you, the smiles on their faces and the sound of laughter. This is what you always wanted. And you realized that your bucket list was finished, your last wish: having a peaceful family dinner. ____________________ Pregnancy week 39: Only about one week left. However, you weren't thinking about that just yet because today was New Year's Eve. Sam and Dean had bought some fireworks they wanted to set of which was why you were sitting outside of the bunker, wrapped in a blanket in Gabriel's arms. The Winchesters had oh so nicely agreed to let you come outside too. "How much time do we have left?" Dean asked, already hurrying with setting up all the fireworks in bottles on the street. You freed one arm from Gabriel's hug and looked at your phone. "Two minutes." "Shit, gotta hurry" Dean cursed. You laughed at him as he tried to work faster, ordering Cas to help him. "One thirty... One fifteen... One minute" you continued to count down. "Shut up." Giggling you put your phone away again after seeing Sam grabbing his to start the thirty second countdown in a few. Nuzzling back into Gabriel's side you glanced up at him only to see that his gaze had already been on you. "Hey" you mumbled with a smile. "Hey to you, too" he quietly laughed as he pushed back a strand of hair from your face. Immediately you lost yourself in his warm eyes, the cold night air long forgotten. His face was already so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips. "Thirty" you heard Sam said. You had to wait thirty seconds until you could finally kiss him? You huffed a breath in annoyance as your hands found their place on Gabe's chest. "Impatient?" Gabriel grinned. You glared at him. "As if you weren't." "Twenty." "Oh, I can live without a kiss" the archangel stated with a smirk. You raised one eyebrow at him before grinning evilly. "Oh, is that so?" You put your hands away from his chest and turned your head forward again, looking at Dean who was armed with one windproof lighter in each hand. You couldn't suppress your laughter when you saw his silly stance. He seemed ready to tackle the fireworks to the ground. You hadn't seen him act this childish in a long time. You felt Gabriel squirm beside you which only made you grin even more. "Ten." "(Y/N)" the archangel growled lowly. "Nine." You glanced at him from the corner of your eyes. "Eight." "I thought you said-" you turned around to meet his eyes completely. "Seven." "-you could live without a kiss from me?" you challenged him. "Six." He huffed. "Five." Stretching up you were the one to tease him with your hot breath on his mouth. "Four." "Well" Gabriel started and placed his arms to either of your sides, caging you in. "Three." You felt his body heat springing over to you as his eyes darted to your lips still stretched into a smile. "Two." "Not now" he finally said. "One!" He grabbed your face in his hands and closed the gap between you two just as Sam shouted "Zero!". Melting into the kiss you pressed your hands against his chest again and closed your eyes. However, the grin on your lips stayed as you responded the kiss. Silently moaning as Gabriel's hand wandered down your sides, leaving a tingling sensation behind, you stretched upward, pressing into him. This kiss was the sweetest you had ever shared with the archangel. Soft, gentle, slow. There was no intention behind it, no raw desire but love. So, you let yourself relax in his arms as the fireworks took of behind you, buzzing through the night sky. "Who was impatient now?" you asked after breaking the kiss, your lips still only barely apart. "Not my fault, I just can't resist you." "You're so cheesy when you want" you laughed and closed the gap between you again in another soft kiss that quickly grew more passionate and daring. You wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking through his hair and slightly tugging at their ends. He groaned against your lips and let his hands wander too. They quickly found their place only barely above your bum as he pressed you against him as far as possible with your baby bump. You felt warm and safe, like being encased in fluffy clouds and soft blankets, like if he had wrapped his wings around that you were unable to see. You parted with a gasp, sucking in breaths of air with a laugh as you looked up the archangel. "I love when you laugh and your eyes crinkle up" Gabriel whispered which only made laugh again and then smiling like a fool. "Are you growing soft on me" you teased. "I am always soft for you" he said without missing a beat. You felt your face heat up but forced yourself to not break the eye contact. "I love you" you mumbled with half lidded eyes. Gabriel chuckled, hugging you close. "I love you, too, sugar." You stayed outside for a while longer, talking with each other while looking up at the stars. But at about 1 am it was too cold to stay outside any longer so everyone slowly packed their drinks and the empty bottles for the fireworks and began their way back into the bunker. You let out a sigh as you heaved yourself up with Gabriel's help, smiling appreciatingly up at him and tried to find your balance. Just as you were standing safely on your legs and took one step forward you felt it. Bending forward you pressed one hand against your stomach and blindly searched for Gabriel to steady yourself with the other one. "(Y/N), is everything alright?" he asked, grabbing your outstretched arm. You growled in response, biting your lip, almost drawing blood. "Ju-just a contraction. Probably just Braxton Hicks contractions" you muttered under your breath and straightened up again after you were sure it was done. "Are you sure?" You nodded, letting go of Gabriel and taking one step forward only for your knees to give in. You yelped in shock but luckily Gabriel caught you before you could hit the ground. Another groan of pain left your lips as you let yourself be kept upright by the archangel just as another wave of pain hit you. Your lips parted, sharply sucking in the cold winter air, as you tried to get the words out. "Or ma-maybe they're real contractions" you stammered. You slumped back down, only kept up by Gabriel's arms while your vision got fuzzy and pain shot through you up from your stomach. You heard him yell for Sam, Dean and Cas who had already gone inside but you didn't really register it. It was absurd. Everything seemed so unreal to you and in the same time frighteningly real, too. Was this ... it? "Gabe" you said not even really knowing why as a nauseous feeling washed over you. Clinging onto him you blinked a few times, trying to make out his face. "I-I need your help." He heaved you into his arms without another word, hurrying inside as fast as possible. "What's the matter?" Sam asked, looking up from his seat in the library. You only cried out in pain, curling into Gabe's chest. "She's having contractions" Gabriel said and walked past the three men in the direction of your room. They hastily stood up and ran after him, frantically shouting all the time. "Real ones? The real deal?" Dean asked worried. "Yes!" you yelled with tears in your eyes as a wave of heat crashed over your body. Gabriel kicked your door open and then laid you down on your bed. Panicking you looked up at the ceiling. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, it was too early and your friend wasn't even in town yet. They had promised to come by to help with the birth giving process. You had no clue what to do and the guys had non either. They were panicking too, asking and shouting about what was supposed to happen. "Gabe... Gabriel" you forced over your lips, looking to your side, searching for his eyes. He immediately had his attention on you with his eyebrows furrowed and teary eyes. "Call (F/N)." He nodded, not hesitating and grabbed your phone. "(Y/N)? What's up?" their voice rang through the speaker only seconds later but you were unable to answer as another painful contraction hit you. This was happening way to fast. Was this the angel side of your baby? Wasn’t there supposed to be a pause between the contractions? How were you supposed to breath through all this pain? "Here's Gabriel" the archangel managed to get out. "(Y/N) just got into labor." "What?! (Y/N)!" your friend yelled as a wave of shock also washed over them. "Hey" Gabriel said to get their attention. "We... she needs your help now. You have to tell us what to do." If you hadn't been in labor you would have been amazed by Gabe's calm voice. But one look at his face told you that it was only a facade, that he was more panicked than any of the other guys inside the room. "Okay, okay. At first ... tell me how far apart the contractions are" your friend requested after a few deep breaths to calm themselves down. Gabriel looked back at you and when your eyes met you felt the next one hit you. "There is no time between them or at least … there’s always pain. They are coming very fast. I-" you were able to groan when the pain washed away for a few seconds. "I think it's because of the angel genes. They're very strong and painful." "Alright, no time to lose then" your friend mumbled probably more to themselves. "You have to lay on your back, put a pillow behind your neck so it's more comfortable for you and you have to get rid of the pants." You looked at Gabe again, signaling him that you needed help with that. He nodded, putting the phone on your bedside table and helped you out of your pants. It was weird being exposed like that but to be fair you didn't really have much time to think about that as another wave of pain crushed over you, pressing your lungs down. "Someone has to check on the status of the baby" (F/N) said and maybe not very surprisingly Cas volunteered to do so. He seemed to have calmed down a bit while Sam and Dean were still pacing around. "Hoist your legs up so you can build up more strength and when the next contraction hits you have to press. And don’t forget to breathe!" You followed their instructions without question. "(Y/N)?" they asked after a few seconds. You answered with a half yelp that somewhat resembled a "Yes?". "I wish I was here to help you, I'm sorry." "No, don't be. I wanted you to enjoy New Year's Eve, too. Life is just unpredictable" you managed to say but after that everything became fuzzy again. This wasn't normal right? No, it wasn't. You were dying. This was the end. The realization hit you suddenly and almost knocked the air out of your lungs. You would die today. You whimpered, unable to form any words as you once again blindly reached out for Gabriel. A hand found yours and you immediately felt that it was his palm squeezing yours reassuringly. Your vision cleared only slightly and when you made out the archangel's face you saw the tears he had forced back all those weeks, the tears he had never let himself cry. "Can you see something already?" Was that Dean speaking? You couldn’t really tell but you knew that the one to answer should be Cas. "Yes, I can see some of the head." "Is she still breathing." "Yes! Now stop worrying her even more!" That had to be Gabe as his hand began to squeeze you harder. "You're doing great" the words echoed in your mind again and again and again. Was that Gabriel? You felt the tears wet your cheeks. You loved him so much. You didn't want this. You wanted more time. Why weren't you given more time? Why did this happen to you? Were you doomed from the very beginning? You couldn’t breath, the pain was too much, your whole body just stiffened up. "(Y/N)." Was this some sort of punishment? The contractions seemed to get even more frequent and even though you were supposed to press you felt your strength leave your body quickly. But this baby had to live, you wanted your baby girl to live. Squeezing the hand in yours tightly you focused every last drip of strength into pushing your baby out. "Out." "She's out." Your baby was out. You were still breathing. Was that screaming? "Gabe" you gasped as the room began to spin. You were so exhausted. All your energy seemed to have been sucked out of you. And that was when you noticed your vision getting out of focus once more but this time it seemed different ... final. A wave of panic crashed over you. No, no, no, no! You didn't want to go. You wanted to reach out to Gabe, opened your mouth. Say something! Another wave of pain tore through you, left you breathless. What was happening? Tears were streaming out of your eyes but you were able to detect one face looking down at you. Worried, honey colored eyes. Gabe! No, you- just say something! Say you love him! Your thoughts screamed at you to say anything... but you were unable to. You had no energy left. Everything turned to darkness.

____________________

"(Y/N)!" you squirmed under your blanket, not ready to wake up just yet. You felt something, or someone next to you and a hand on your shoulder slowly shaking you away but still you didn't really budge.

"Let me sleep" you complained and covered your head with the warm blanket. "Next time, sugar. Now you need to wake up."

You opened your eyes, pulling the blanket down and let them wander to Gabe's in shadow casted Form. Frowning you slowly sat up. This felt strangely familiar, like you were just experiencing a déjà-vu.

You sighed and followed Gabriel's instructions as he hoisted you up.

"Believe me, it will be worth it" he promised. You closed your eyes and rubbed the bridge of your nose. "I really hope you're right."

The next time you opened your eyes you stood in a snow covered landscape. "What-"

"Look up, sugar" he said and so you did. The sight left you breathless. Vivid colors were moving above you in a strange, hypnotic dance. Greens and blues and bright pinks. You were speechless. These were the northern lights.

"It's amazing" you whispered and pushed done strand of hair back. "Thank you."

This was all so familiar. Did you live through this before? You frowned, about to ask Gabriel when you felt a dull pain rush through your stomach. Gasping you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around yourself. This was strange.

"(Y/N)?!" Gabriel asked panicked and walked in front of you. He put his hands on your shoulders to straighten you up again. "Are you alright? Are you in pain? What's going on?" Yes, indeed. What was going on? What was this pain? The thoughts of a possible déjà-vu vanished in an instance as your mind just accepted everything.

For a few more seconds you didn't answer him and instead stared at the ground with your arms still tightly wrapped around yourself. You felt it again and it was then you realized what this was. You let out a pained laugh.

"Yes, everything's fine" you reassured the worried archangel with a small smile. Grabbing one of his hands which were still resting on your shoulder you directed it to your still growing bump. You had to wait a few moments with your hand on top of his before you felt it again. Gabriel flinched and you still saw worry in his eyes but when he looked up from your stomach and searched for your gaze, he slowly relaxed when he saw the softness in your eyes.

"Are these...?"

"Her first kicks? Yes."

In the next couple of seconds you saw every emotion washing over his face. Happiness, relief, love, peace, joy but also worry, fear and panic. But it wasn't the type of panic that shook to your core, making your tense up and freeze. No, it was that type of panic a soon to be Dad had when realizing he would have to care for a small helpless baby soon. It was the first time you saw this fatherly panic on his face every since the beginning, ever since the big news of you being pregnant.

"She's quite strong. Knocked the air right out of me" you huffed while intervening your free hand with his other hand.

"Archangel genes" Gabriel laughed.

"Yes" you breathed, leaning into his touch with a smile. You two stayed like that for many moments more, enjoying each other's presence underneath the fantastical sky.

It indeed was your happiest day.

The End. ____________________

#supernatural #supernatural gabriel #supernatural gabriel x reader #gabriel x reader #x reader #supernatural x reader #supernatural dean #supernatural sam #supernatural castiel #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #reader is female #female reader #pregnant reader

153 notes · View notes

airenyah · 3 years

Note

what are the gayest destiel episodes you can think of?

ohhhhh i gotchu hold on (this is basically gonna end up being a list of my fave destiel episodes lmaooo)

ok so just a heads-up, i don’t really remember much from s10 onwards (a lot of those episodes i haven’t actually watched since they aired whoops) and i’m currently stuck at the beginning of s9 on my complete rewatch soooo this list focuses only on the first half of the show. i might do an update if i ever manage to finish my rewatch (and remember to post an update at all when the time comes)

ok here we go:

4x16 - On the Head of a Pin

dean calls cas “cas” to his face for the very first time

dean is all “you can't ask me to do this, cas. not this.” (about torturing alastair) and uriel is all “who said anything about asking”, but cas is all: “this is too much to ask, i know. but we have to ask it” and that is the moment that dean realizes that cas cares about him and his feelings/well-being and that’s when he demands to speak to cas alone

and it’s only after cas tells dean he really doesn’t want dean being forced to do the torturing that Dean gives in (”i would give anything not to have you do this”)

like, it’s so obvious already how much cas cares about dean already and we’re only in s4

cas is even starting to go down the path of disobedience (with a little help from anna admittedly, but still. he’s starting to consider it)

they’re so?? comfortable?? with each other. when cas visits dean at the hospital in the end

4x22 - Lucifer Rising

dean literally makes an angel fall in this ep, i mean come on... (the way cas shows up behind him all “you asked to see me” after dean smashes the angel statue cracks me up every single time gsdlka)

dean desperately trying to get cas to help him (bc he knows that IF there’s an angel that would help him it’s cas)

cas is too afraid though and dean gets pissed and literally breaks up with him (D: "you spineless, soulless son of a bitch. what do you care about dying? you're already dead. we're done." C: "dean-" D: "we're done!")

this is the episode in which cas makes his decision and chooses dean over heaven

5x03 - Free to Be You and Me

in the previous episode sam and dean had a fight and split up. this episode starts out with dean being pissed and annoyed and just in a bad mood in general

when cas shows up and asks for help dean is very grumpy and doesn’t want to help at first but then reluctantly agrees

throughout the episode, the more time dean spends with cas the better his mood gets (honestly this point is worthy of its own separate post, i have enough screenshots lmao)

like he’s even smiling at the end of the ep when he’s talking to cas in the car!! (except then he looks over and realizes cas has left mid-conversation again and that smile is wiped right off his face and i’m sad :( )

when they’re in that brothel dean mostly has eyes for cas, even when chastity the hooker is standing right next to him

after the brothel incident when dean is cracking up and goes “it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. it's been more than a long time. years.” like... buddy. your crush is showing.

and the way cas smiles lovingly at dean laughing next to him

dean be like: “personal space” also dean: *reaches into cas’s coat without hesitation* *fixes cas’s shirt and tie without hesitation*

also the funniest thing about the whole “personal space” moment in the motel is that there was more than enough space for dean to step aside and increase the distance between him and cas if he had really been all that uncomfortable but he just. doesn’t. no he just stays right where he is

when raphael is trapped in the holy oil and threatens cas all “castiel, I'm warning you. do not leave me here. i will find you.” and cas goes “maybe one day. but today, you're my little bitch.” and walks away and dean tells raphael “what he said” like the impressed and proud boyfriend that he is

inside jokes (see here)

some more iconic quotes/moments from this episode:

“cas, we’ve talked about this. personal space”

“so, what, i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“well. last night on earth. what are your plans?” “i just thought i'd sit here quietly.”

“let me tell you something. there are two things i know for certain. one, bert and ernie are gay. two, you are not gonna die a virgin. not on my watch.”

5x14 - My Bloody Valentine

hunter husbands!!

the way that dean is not in the mood for hook-ups on valentine’s day and then goes to stare at cas like That

that iconic phone call at the hospital where cas just appears in front of dean who nearly runs into him

cas be looking at sam while listing all the things people can be starving for, and then looks at dean before saying “love”

ok i know this doesn’t have that many points but really this entire ep is great, i very much enjoy all the interactions between cas and dean in this ep

like when dean is not hungry and cas is all “you're not gonna finish that?” and grabs the plate without waiting for an answer bc they’re this married in s5 already

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

i mean... this one is obvious isn’t it

this ep is literally all about how cas is doing everything for the winchesters aka dean

the way sam and bobby cautiously voice their suspicions of cas to dean has the same energy as carefully breaking it to a family member that you think their partner is cheating on them

and when they trap cas in the holy oil and confront him dean also acts like a betrayed wife(gn)

which is such a stark contrast to how sam and bobby react to the betrayal (they’re mostly just like “eh this sucks” while dean is emotionally affected)

and even in the following episodes dean is way more affected by cas’s betrayal than sam and bobby are and dean is the one who argues the most with cas (honestly, this entire arc is literally that post that’s all “how do i know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

ok but the holy oil scene is truly like a soap opera (i mean... “where were you when i needed to hear it?” “i was there. where were you?” and dean looking back at cas one last time before running away)

this is their first big break-up and it takes them until the s7 finale to make up

special shoutout to cas watching dean rake leaves

this ep is a LOT

7x17 - The Born-Again Identity

dean’s FACE when he sEES CAS. and then DEAN’S FACE AGAIN when “emmanuel” is all “what’s your issue?”

dean’s face all throughout that first scene with “emmanuel” and daphne, I’M

“you know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. you know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... i always could. what cas did... i just can't – i don't know why” BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, IDIOT

the way dean interrupts all irritated when meg goes “i think we're gonna be good friends too” at “emmanuel” (jealous bf much gsdlksafd)

the way dean kept the trenchcoat just in case so he can give it back to cas should he return (which ofc he did)!!!!

7x21 - Reading is Fundamental

yet another one of those “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”

at the beginning of the ep at some point sam’s phone rings and when he says that meg (who is watching over cas at the mental hospital) is calling, dean is quick to stand up and even tho meg called sam, dean is the one who ends up having the phone call with her lmao

also dean has no chill during that phone call lmao (he’s irritated when he finds out meg didn’t call them right then and there as soon as cas woke up and he’s immediately concerned when meg says cas is different, while sam’s just standing there holding his phone out to dean, being all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao)

dean: *pissed af at cas* also dean: *almost breaks his own neck at the speed with which he whips his head around at the mention of cas’s name and is desperate to know his location when cas calls meg after dean blasted him away with some other angels at the hospital*

ok no but then meg tells cas their location and cas zaps into the car and it’s hilarious how quick dean is to interrupt whenever cas turns his attention to meg in that scene

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin

dean seeing cas everywhere

when you see your best dudebro outside the window in the middle of a storm but when you get up he’s gone and you feel like crap because you could’ve made it out of the war zone together and you just cannot fathom why he didn’t try harder and you just don’t understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (and judging by dean’s reaction to sam’s suggestion, clearly it’s not survivor’s guilt)

dean’s FACE when cas suddenly appears behind him in the bathroom

jacting joices: the infamous boner scene (yet another example of “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

jacting joices pt 2: sam and dean are talking case and then cas walks over to join the conversation and there is literally no reason for dean to check cas out (see here)

during the rescue mission when cas zaps into the room and has a stand-off with crowley and then when dean finally manages to break into the room, can i just say... the way dean immediately rushes to cas (who’s ended up on the floor) and grabs him by the shoulder before he bothers to look around the room

D: “that was a bonehead move back there. you could have gotten yourself killed. why didn't you wait for me?” C: “well, i didn't get killed. and it worked” D: “and if it didn't?” C: “it would have been my problem.” D: “well, that's not the way i see it.”

the purgatory flashbacks when dean keeps insisting that cas is coming along with them back to earth and won’t hear otherwise

“i did everything I could to get you out – everything! i did not leave you.” “so you think this was your fault?”

“look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? for failing you like i've failed every other godforsaken thing that i care about! i don't need it!”

i know we hate buckleming but this episode, man. this episode

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici

i was gonna put this as a special shoutout but then it turned out that i had more to say about this ep than i initially thought

it’s the way dean and cas keep gravitating towards each other in the first half of the episode. no seriously, they somehow keep ending up beside each other and you start wondering “what’s personal space” (friendly reminder that this is the ep right after they’re finally back together again after purgatory)

the married energy and the bickering

the “talk to me” scene where cas finally opens up to dean (but then interrupting moose strikes)

at the retirement home dean to sam and cas: “no flirting you two” then CUT to: dean and cas sitting at a table with an elderly lady who is staring at cas with heart eyes and... lady: “you are so pretty, charles” dean: *must look at young nurse’s butt immediately to distract myself from gay thoughts*

i’m sorry but the way he smiles so widely at cas at one point when they’re talking to that lady, like, she’s just called cas a bounder and dean’s amused about that but his amusement is not in any way malicious and his face is just so full of love when he looks at Cas, it’s embarrassing really (see here)

9x06 - Heaven Can't Wait

ok so i haven’t watched this ep in like 5 years so my memories on this aren’t as fresh as with the previous eps but! it’s the way that cas and dean act exactly like exes (who are still in love with each other) in this ep

dean’s face as he’s staring at cas through the shop window

dean’s smile when he shows up inside the shop

the entire “i can’t let you do this cas” scene in the car

the infamous fanfiction gap

special shout out to:

5x18 - Point of No Return for all the bickering (“you know what? blow me, cas”) and especially “well, cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… i got laid.”

6x10 - Caged Heat for the pizza man and dean’s reaction to all the megstiel (like jealous bf much?)

6x19 - Mommy Dearest for the strong married energy dean and cas give off in this ep (honestly, all their bickering, it’s glorious) (friendly reminder that this is right before tmwwbk)

7x23 - Survival of the Fittest for the “i’d rather have you cursed or not” scene

8x02 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? for the purgatory flashbaks with that one monster calling cas dean’s angel and the reunion scene by the river with highlights such as “nice peach fuzz” and “i prayed to you cas, every night” and “i have a price on my head, and i've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you” and “cas, we're getting out of here. we're going home” and “cas, buddy, i need you” and “let me bottom-line it for you. i'm not leaving here without you. understand?”

8x17 - Goodybe Stranger for “i don't know, dean. if he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?” and the entire crypt scene (yes this is a big one and yes i’m still only putting it as a special shoutout and yes it’s bc of the megstiel content this ep ok bye <3)

#there is also the late s9 ep where cas chooses dean over an angel army #then i vaguely remember 11x03 being a good destiel ep #and the s12 ep with the ''i love you. i love all of you''??#i know people are still going crazy over the mix tape but i don't remember if the ep itself was very gay #oh and 13x06 - tombstone gets talked about a lot as well #when cas comes back to life at the end of the widower arc and dean goes from extremely depressed to happy af #15x09 was a pretty good one as well i think #and ofc 15x18 with the big ''i love you''#anyway this was fun #i should really continue with my spn rewatch #but the thing is that i'm actually journaling and making notes #and that requires brain #and i currently just don't have the energy to make all this effort just for a tv show #who knows if i'm ever gonna finish this project #oh well #asks #anon #destiel #spn #lmk if i've missed anything (from s4-s8 that is)

24 notes · View notes

jawritter · 4 years

Text

Dean Winchester One Shots

Happy Birthday Dean pt. 1

It’s Dean’s birthday, and you realize something about yourself you never knew before… Until now…

30 Minutes til Midnight (Happy Birthday Dean pt. 2!)

Sequel ot Happy Birthday Dean, will you finally tell him how you feel?

Middle of the road

Can you keep pretending your just friends, or will it all come out in the middle of the road.

Lonely as the grave

Dean struggles with his reality visiting the graveyard in his hometown of Lawrance, Kansas

The Fool

The reader comfronts Lisa, based on the song The Fool by Leanne Walmack

The Meeting

A secret releationship getts heated during a meet up

Waiting…

Waiting on your hero hunter to come home can be one of the harderst things you ever do.

Finally Yours

Alpha!Dean is in Rut, and only one Omega can help him through it!

Home

Six years ago Christmas Eve Dean made the biggest mistake of his life under influence of the Mark of Cane.

It Was Fifteen Years Ago Today

Haunted by the past tramas even Dean needs a little comfort sometimes.

I Did It Because I Love You

Dean’s been a complete and total asshole, what happenes when the reader finally has all she can take.

Happy Valenties Day Sweetheart

Dean shows the reader a little bit of his softer side….

I Kinda Like The Disease…

Your search for your demon boyfriend takes you to New Orleans during mardi grag…

Challenge Accepted..

Requested: ok so here is a request(idk if you do these)(also it’s smut) so dean talks about how good he is in the bedroom and the reader says something along the lines like “i bet you can’t make me come” Dean challenges this. In the bedroom and you know they doing the dirty or whatever. Dean edges her and edges her and just when the reader had enough of the teasing Dean finally takes her over her edge and the reader is left with the most hot shaking orgasm ever. I hope this makes sense! ❤️ur stories!!

Your Perfect

Request: the reader is always willing to go down on Dean but when Dean goes to return the favor the reader stops him and always finds an excuse. No one has ever offered to go down on her before so she’s insecure about it and doesn’t want to look weird in from of dean. i Hope this makes sense!

Curves

Requested: Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where she really shy and dorky but believes that she really bad at sex because she is bigger? And dean shows her that she not 😊💕 I hope this make sense haha! I know this sound awkward turtle 🐢

You Deserve Better Than Me

Requested: Dean winchester x pregnant Reader. Dean feels the reader deserves better than what he can give her in his life, what will he do when he finds out that she’s expecting his baby?

Quarantine

Summery: Everyone is stuck in quarantine right now everywhere, and your stuck alone with Dean, who really needs to blow off steam… Oh what has your big mouth gotten you into now…

My Best Friend

Request: hiii i have dean x reader request! the reader and dean are friends with benefits but recently she’s just been down in the dumps and just wants some platonic affection and not sex. as the writer you can do what u want but could you add Dean playing with the readers hair? i have a weakness for it lol thanks!

Just A Dream…

Part 1

Part 2

Winchesters Fantasies 1000 follower Challenge…

Daddy’s Home

Request: Hey I know this is odd, but I really enjoy your writing and I was wondering if you could possibly do a little smutty Dean thing? Maybe using the name Lyn, and really anything is on the table, I mean, it’s Dean Winchester. (Or if you want, some daddy kink and maybe just rough stuff :o) Thank you dear!! You don’t have to if ya don’t want to, no pressure 💕💕

Like Pulling Teeth

Request: Okay, so I was just watching few recent spn episode and saw Garth episode. Which gave me an curious idea, can you write dentist reader x dean? They’re in a relationship, one day when dean eats something, it pains and reader has to look into it? and then reader says wisdom tooth extraction? Also the fear of dentist which dean already has (shown in the episode, I found it very funny) I know it’s a weird request but I also think it would be very funny🙈

Little Details…

Request: Could I maybe request a Chubby!Reader x Dean story? She’s super sweet and kind of laid back, just going along with the boys as a research partner, but she’s also super artsy and loves to draw Dean while she researches. Maybe some sweet and soft smut, oh! And maybe he plays with her hair? :) Thanks dear!! 🌻💛

Age Is Just A Number…

Request Hello :) How do feel about an age difference, post sex one-shot? Alternate universe (no hunting), consensual, not underage but quite a big age difference (like at least 10years) where Dean is like freaking out because he’s Dean and doesn’t want to destroy the girl’s life?

Mine…

Request: Could you do a one shot where the reader lives with Sam and dean they are best friends. The reader and dean have a secret relationship and dean gets jealous of the reader and Sam hanging out all day. So dean shows the reader who she belongs too in the bedroom.

Right In Front Of You…

Request: Dean x Reader. Reader is hunting with Sam and Dean, and she is constantly getting annoyed at every single thing that Dean does. And she always acts very bad with Dean with this making dean think that she hates him. And that makes mr very sad because he has feelings for her but when Dean save her sacrificing himself from a hunting gone wrong. She stars to develop feelings for him.

Jealous Of My Demons...

Requested: Dean get’s jealous of the reader’s former boyfriend Brady, who is now posses by a demon and working as a stable boy for the horseman pestilence. Who will they work this out?

Princess...

Request: Thank you for answering my question love!💕 can I request a Dean x plus size reader where she is super shy and it drives dean crazy? Fluff, smut? I’m sorry to bother you hahah and that this sounds awkward turtle 🐢 🖤😻

My Girl...

Requested: Hola! request for dean x reader: the readers current boyfriend always puts her down and one day threatens to breakup with her if she doesn’t lose weight, even though she’s not even plus sized or anything. She constantly pushes her body to the limit to lose the weight and dean notices. it ends all fluffy and protective!dean comes out and has a “talk” with the boyfriend. side note for anyone reader this: YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL MAMA 💗��

Your Dean...

Request: Heyy! I'm sorry to be a bother. I was wondering if you can do a one shot where the reader is prone to severe panic attacks and her husband Dean is the only one who knows how to calm her down? She gets a really bad attack but Dean for some reason ain't there, and no one is able to help her but eventually he comes back and takes care of her. Sorry if this is a lot haha.

Safe. Warm. His...

Request: Are you taking requests? If so would you possibly write a one shot with Dean where the reader is in little space and just wants to cuddle and nuzzle her head in his neck and give him lots of little kisses and play with his hands? It’s just superrrr fluffy 🥺🥺🖤

One Hell Of A Thank You...

Request: Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where the reader is really quirky and dorky and goes on a date but turns out her date is a vampire and kidnapped her and dean saves her and falls in love with her, maybe some angst, fluff and smut 💕

Voices..

Request: Can I request? Dean x reader were she has an Eating Disorder and she’s recovering but today was an off day for her and starts to go back to her old habits and Dean notices and helps her through it.

His Girl...

Request: May I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader where the reader is very shy and she at a bar and some dirt bags are picking on her about her shortness and weight and dean stands up for her? Some smut and fluff ?? Also want to say you are a bop of a writer my love! ✨💕🥰❤️

Happily Ever After...

Request: Hey beautiful! May I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader where the reader does all the research for the boys and she is very shy,she a huge Disney fan, one day demons get in the bunker and make fun of her and dean stand up for her and confess his love for her (smut)? And after they cuddle and watch lady and tramp? Fluff and smut you are a gem my dear! 💕

His New Toy...

Request: Hai can I request dean x reader smut with breast bondage and nipple play?? plot (if there is any) is up to you ;)

His Heaven...

Request: Heyy I love your ABO fics and I have a request for you. You can always say no to this if you’re uncomfortable. I’ll completely understand and I’m very sorry. Can you do one with Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader. Where the reader is on a supply run and she gets assaulted and tortured by a monster and when she gets back to the bunker somehow, she only allows her Alpha anywhere near her and refuses help from anyone else. Dean takes care of her and helps her heal.

Something Worth Fighting For

Request: Hi love! Your writing is amazing and I was wondering if you could do a Dean x depressed!reader? Like dean finds the reader about to jump off the roof of the bunker after reading the note she left him and sam saying goodbye. He had never suspected anything cause she hid it so well. Dean saves her and tells her his feelings for her? You can also add any details you want or anything like that! There is no rush! Thank you!

Unlikely Places

Trigger Warning: Non-Con

Request: Hi! I love your work! Can you do a ABO? One where the reader is Beta, and Dean Alpha, and she’s his true mate/soulmate, but they don’t know it, and he gets possessive and goes into almost a feral rut where he tries to claim, and it almost kills her but Sam and Rowena save her and give Dean his Omega back? You come up with the plot because you’re amazing at that!! Please! I’d be forever in your debt!

I Hurt Too

Request: hi there! I have seen loads of fics and one shots where Dean is sleeping around/having a one night stand and the reader gets jealous and upset, but I was wondering if I could request one with the other way around? or maybe one where they sleep around equally? as smutty, fluffy, or angst as you want!!

What’s Left Of Me

Summary: Who know one little woman could have turned his whole world upside down? He had done so good alone for so long. Then here you come along, and ruin everything

Elf

Summary: Maybe being stuck at home alone with Dean for Christmas isn’t so bad after all.

Save Me

Summary: It’s not always easy being the hero, especially when no one is ever there to save you.

Saving Grace

Summary: Some things are worth fighting for, even when they think they’re not. You can either roll over and die, or you can pick yourself up off the ground and go get what you want. That’s the place Y/N now finds herself in.

Living With Regret

Summary: Death can be hard to deal with in any aspect, but when you’re in the life, it's something you deal with all to often, and carry with you until it's your turn to burn.

Happy Halloween

Summary: It’s Daddy’s favorite holiday. So what’s a good girl gonna do, but let him blow off some steam after a successful hunt?

I’ll Wait For You

Summary: Sometimes when we’re angry, hurt, or scared we say things wrong. Say things that hurt the ones we love. When Dean takes things a step to far can you find it in your heart to forgive him?

An Alpha And His Omega

Summary: Sometimes Alpha’s aren’t the assholes, sometimes words Omegas say things that can hurt too.

No, Screw You Sweetheart

Summary: You HATE Dean Winchester, I mean you really, REALLY hate Dean Winchester.

30 Minutes In Heaven

Summary: Your life, like many hunters before you, was cut short. You had no idea at the time the Fates that were at play in the universe were really those of dick angles and egotistical assholes with massive god complexes. And you also had no idea that they were really the reason you lost your life, and you had no idea why… Until around 30 minutes after you made it to Heaven.

The Devil And I

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

Summary: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? You survived after you thought your mate had died, but how will you survive finding out he's alive, only different.

Don’t Let It Show...

Summary: She’s had enough of him, just like every other woman always seems to, and normally, he doesn’t care, but this time...this time it hurts.

Don’t Fear The Reaper

Summary: They took him from her, her knit, her king, her Dean, “cured” him, and now she’s going to get him back, she’s going to set him free.

Scars And All

Summary: You and Dean have a strange, mutual relationship, but that’s all it is, physical. Until an almost bar fight brings some things to light that you thought you’d never hear.

I Almost Lost You

Summary: Sometimes, monsters aren't always monsters...sometimes they're people.

Touch Starved

Summary: Sometimes when the hunt is hard, and his mind is loud, Dean just wants to be close to someone he loves, but is to scared to say it out loud. Thankfully, she knows him better than he knows himself.

I Wanna Be Your Everything

Summary: After a huge fight, and a week away from Dean, he’s finally decided it was okay to have the ending he’d always wanted.

One More Sunset

Summary: Dean just wants the pain to go away...

#jawritter masterlist #Dean winchester one shots #jawritter

973 notes · View notes