#and only a 'moderate' risk of it being serious
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i wanna talk about this scene because its one of my favourite character moments for both aaron and neil. theyve just gotten to the cabin, only a handful of days after nathans death, and aaron gets neil alone and says this:
now listen. maybe what aaron is doing here is exactly what it looks like. maybe he is concerned that neil is exploiting andrew, and this is him being a protective brother. and i do think theres a part of him that is. he could also be reacting badly due to homophobia, and maybe a part of him is too. but mostly -
he's testing neil.
see, aarons not totally heartless. in that moment in baltimore, when neil was bloody and beaten to shit - aaron was horrified with the rest of them. he might not like neil particularly much, but when you see someone you moderately dislike tortured past the point of human endurance, youre going to put aside your dislike for a second. youre going to take their side, and aaron does. when the foxes claim neil, aaron is right up there with them.
but unlike neil and andrew, who spend the next few days in the emotional wringer with the feds, aaron had several days to process. to really process what allison pointed out to them.
and he realized he could use it.
maybe thats callous of him, but mostly its inevitable; this is how the twins have learned to communicate, to leverage each other with bribes and threats. he watched andrew nearly kill kevin, pick a fight with the feds, grip neils hoodie like he might disappear if he didnt hold on tight enough, and he understood that there was nothing andrew wouldnt do for neil.
meanwhile, neil is still coming off of weeks of telling himself, gritted teeth, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me...
hes barely begun to acknowledge the much less dangerous fact that he has feelings for andrew. less dangerous because if andrew doesnt care about him, then neils death wont hurt him, and neils feelings cant be hurt if hes the one that dies. but if andrew has feelings for him, then this whole time hes been risking that his death would break andrew - break the very person he most wants to protect.
so neil denies it. hes made the first wobbly step towards freedom, but he hasnt yet dealt with the moriyamas. he could still die at any moment. wrapping his head around his fathers death hasnt given him enough time to break those weeks of conditioning himself in the dark. andrew doesnt care about me. andrew cant care about me. neil will go to war for andrew but the idea that the converse is true is too dangerous to look at directly. to protect andrew, to protect himself, he denies it.
but when aaron asks neil if andrew will fight for him, he's not really asking. we can see it in the casual way he shrugs off neils denial. he doesnt care what neil says. he wants to see what neil does. he already knows - or has a pretty strong bet - what andrew will do. what he needs to know is if neil is serious.
listen, i am personally of the belief that if andrew released aaron from his deal for neils sake and then things went sour with neil, andrew would respect the broken deal anyway. but i dont think aaron sees that - he hasnt yet fully internalized that andrew does things out of his own brand of fairness, and not out of malice. so he needs to know; andrew will fight for this. will neil?
so he lobs a grenade at neil, a loaded accusation, and neil comes back swinging. and theres aarons answer. neil isnt exploiting andrew, hes not just playing around. hes as viciously protective of andrew as andrew is of him and those two repressed assholes might not be saying it with words, but aarons not stupid. andrew gave himself away when neil went missing and now neils showed his hand too.
neils right. he has been had, and hes just lucky that what aaron wants is exactly what neil wanted anyway.
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As a trans creator whose work went viral an awful lot of times and who was targeted by so many hate campaigns that I lost count of them (I started publishing Assigned Male Comics 9 years ago, to give you an idea), I think it would have been very easy for me to go down a bitter path.
Our communities are merciless. Our movement is obsessed with ideological purity. It's a fact. Our siblings will devore us for the smallest misstep. It's very easy to become jaded, when you give your entire being to a cause that will treat you as disposable as soon as it's done draining all your energy.
When I started getting invited to different countries to speak about my work, I viewed it as some kind of "reward" - I create work that spoke to people, so it got me speaking engagements. I realized that it was in fact the opposite : it's seeing the impact art can have on communities that became the real catalyst of it.
With all the hate I've attracted, from transphobes, far-right extremists and other trans people alike, I often wonder why I keep doing it. What is it that makes it that I'm still there after a whole decade, when it would have been easier to let resent and bitterness become my fuel.
I always come to the same conclusion. It's meeting all of you, meeting so many communities from all around the planet, that keeps reminding me of the healing and transformative powers of belonging and empowerment. It's only with that in mind that the incredible amount of responsibilities and pressure that comes with a platform such as mine can make sense.
Because why do we do this? Why do we burn ourselves out for a cause that we know will throw us away the minute doubt is cast on our ideological purity? It's so that "thriving" may be something more to trans people everywhere than a distant dream. Your activism should be to work towards that. And that starts at home.
As a trans person, when you're given a voice and an audience, feeling attacked suddenly becomes a thing of every instant, from the moment you wake up to when you go to bed. It's not something volunteer social media moderators can help you with. I will always have compassion to anyone who goes through that, willingly or not.
We ask a lot from trans public figures, who literally put their lives at risk for doing so. It shouldn't be that dangerous to do the work they do. Let's all recognize that.
That being said, bullying, high-school-level drama and feuds should never be tolerated. Resist the urge to dogpile and raid. You might be filled with righteousness right now, but I can assure you that you will not feel better afterward. The world won't be a better place for it.
When the world becomes too much, I retreat in a corner and write comics. Sometimes, after a long creative process of multiple hours of drawing, rewriting and rewording, I post one of them on the internet.
Most of them, I keep to myself.
Thousands of Assigned Male Comics strips none of you will ever get to see.
I believe that our minds aren't made for the instantaneity of social media. I want my readers to sit back and get thinking, which is why you will rarely see me post more than 3 or 4 times a week, and only a very curated selection of posts. I basically hit the "post" button and run back offline.
One day, I'll retire entirely from social media. When that happens, I'll keep posting on Webtoon. Go read the comics there, it's under the title "Serious Trans Vibes".
"She's done it," you can then think. "She's thriving."
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Actually I do think that it's super important to talk about the fact that cutting 500 calories a day for a 1lb a week weight loss is considered "slow" or "moderate" weight loss.
*IF* you can sustain that for a year that is a 52 pound loss in a year, which is pretty fucking fast, actually, but people act like you're a hopeless defeatist if you start talking about weight loss in terms of 1 pound a month because people want *results* but if you're talking about being able to sustain weight loss (which some people just straight up cannot for a variety of reasons and is not reasonable to *expect* everybody to be able to do) then it's kind of fucking bonkers that doctors and the American heart association and diabetes infographics and whatever talk about doing the kinds of diets that typically only last 3-6 months (12-26 pounds at a pound a week) and expect people to maintain those losses.
When you talk to doctors it is extremely reasonable to say "okay, and how, specifically, should I do that?" when they say to lose twenty pounds, but what is ALSO a very reasonable question that I never see brought up is "okay, by when?" and if they say "within the next year" it's also perfectly reasonable to say "why does it have to be in that time period?" Because if we're talking about the benefits of a 5% weight loss for reducing the weight-associated risks of heart disease or diabetes, then losing that weight over five years instead of over six months should be as effective, and is much more likely to be a lasting change instead of something that kicks off a bunch of weight cycling (which has its own terrible side effects that are bad for you).
There are some people for whom, for a number of reasons, it is impossible or near impossible to lose weight in the long term. It is possible for most people to lose weight in the short term, with a significant amount of effort. Maintaining long-term weight loss is exceptionally difficult and it seems like it's not feasible for large numbers of people, and I can't help but wonder if that's because what we're considering 'long term' really isn't long term at all.
If you've spent time around people trying to put on muscle you'll see something that I think is actually a more reasonable approach to long-term body changes, and that is recognition of the fact that you can only put on a (relatively) tiny amount of muscle in a year. For most people who have been training for any length of time, it's between 5-7 pounds and it gets harder to put on more the longer you've trained. Lifters and bodybuilders who recognize this and still want to put on muscle understand that they are in for an extremely long-term project that they have to intentionally maintain and put a lot of effort toward.
I want you to think about anyone you know who is a serious gym rat. I want you to think about how many hours a week they spend in the gym, and what they're giving up in exchange for that time. I want you to think about how much they spend on equipment and gym memberships and protein powder and first aid and very specific foods. If you know someone who's a very serious gym rat, you probably think they're a little unreasonable, that that's too much effort to put into looking good in a tank top.
But that's pretty analogous to the kind of effort, planning, and expense that needs to be put into maintaining a long term weight loss. And that effort needs to be put in forever - no matter if you're having kids or your partner is hospitalized or if your financial situation changes or if you are permanently injured, just like a bodybuilder can't expect to keep their gains if they're suddenly spending ten hours a week at the hospital instead of the gym.
I mean, people talk about weight loss and they get angry when you bring up the statistical failure of things like Weight Watchers or if you discuss how destructive dieting can be and they go "so, what, are you saying it's impossible to lose weight?" And the answer is, no, not for everyone.
It is possible for most people to lose weight. Just like it's possible for most people to become competitive bodybuilders. But we frame "mid-30s mother with two kids and a long commute and a full time job needs to lose 10 pounds and keep if off" as a task with a difficulty curve similar to learning how to cook a few crockpot meals, not similar to becoming a competitive bodybuilder.
#diet talk#tw diet#cw weight talk#tw weight loss#tw calorie restriction#calorie counting#calorie restriction#tw disordered eating#disordered eating
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The Looming(?) Haredi Draft
For many years, Israel has effectively exempted Haredi youth from the otherwise universal requirement (for Jews) of IDF service. This has been a serious source of tension and strife in Israeli society -- a rallying point for secular and moderate Jews who view the Haredim as failing to pull their weight, and an absolute bedrock priority for Orthodox parties for whom avoiding military service is their number one policy demand.
The blockbuster decision out of the Israeli supreme court you might have read about doesn't quite compel the draft to start, but it does say that Haredim can no longer get their governmental stipends if they don't serve. In practice, the Haredi community is going to view it as the same thing -- an end to the system where they got paid to study Torah instead of serve in the army.
I won't claim to be an expert on this issue -- this is where I comment as an "interested amateur" -- but here are some initial thoughts.
One immediate way to identify a complete know-nothing hack is if you see anyone saying this ruling demonstrates that the Israeli government is starving for manpower or some other vulgar materialist explanation. The current government, which depends on the support of Orthodox parties for its majority, was and is absolutely dead-set against this ruling.
That said, the current war and the strain it's placed on Israel's military capacities has certainly even further elevated this issue's salience amongst the opposition, and that may have helped create a further permission structure for the court to rule as it did.
It is entirely possible that this ruling could bring down Bibi's government. The mercurial nature of the Orthodox parties is I think a bit overstated (people are so proud for knowing better than the naive story about the ultra-Orthodox being the primary drivers of Israeli right-wing extremism -- "they've joined left-wing governments before! Shas backed land for peace!" -- that they skip past the ways that this social cadre has genuinely shifted rightward in recent years). But this issue really is the sine qua for the ultra-Orthodox, and if the current government can't secure it, that's going to create a yawning fissure in an already creaky coalition.
It might be weird to think of "more militarization" as helping bolster pro-peace impulses in Israel. But we might see some shift in that direction, for at least two reasons.
Number one, in general, if every social sector is sharing the burden of military service, that may put a damper on needless military adventurism. Parties that are happy to risk the bodies of other Israelis to defend settlement outposts may be less willing to do so once their bodies are on the line.
Number two, for the Haredi parties in particular, the only way they might plausibly get their exemptions back is in a world where Israel is less reliant on constant militarization. So that could create some possibility for working relationship with more liberal forces in the state; albeit an "alliance" that will always be on shaky footing.
In any event, stay tuned -- this is a big deal.
via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/qBKeDWI
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NSFW ABCs - Nick Sturniolo
Masterlist
Taglist
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He’s surprisingly uncharacteristically soft and cuddly. He’s only ever little spoon when they cuddle after sex.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favorite body part of his is hair. He love the feeling of his partner holding and pulling his hair. His favorite body part on his partner is his chest. He likes touch his chest while he rides his partner.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Cum is disgusting to him. He believes he is too good to have something like cum on his body. He always asks his partner to cum down his throat.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Sometimes when he jerks off he’ll pull his own hair and imagine it’s his partner.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He’s moderately experienced. Like on a scale of one to ten he’s a sold five. Maybe even 7 if they’re only doing oral.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Cowboy. He likes to get on top. Honorable mention to doggy style because it’s better for hair pulling.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He is very serious in the moment! He thinks about the moment and the moment alone. He makes sure to be focused in order to do everything right and perfect.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
While not covered head-to-toe in hair, there is a happy trail leading down to well-groomed, slightly trimmed pubic hair. He keeps himself groomed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s very serious. He gets down to business and becomes a machine, doing everything as he is supposed to working very efficiently.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Refer back to his dirty secret.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He likes to spray his cum all over his partner’s pecs and abs. He also really likes to have sex in front of a mirror and with his music playing in the background.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Bedroom. Only in a bedroom. He may on a good day give his partner head in the kitchen or something like that.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Nick loves loves loves being praised.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Nick just really hates stupidity. If you do some really dumb shit without even thinking - he gets severely turned off.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Nick loves to be face fucked. He wants his partner to grip his hair and slam slam his member down his throat, again and again. He'll also happily face fuck his partner, although he prefers he puts in more of the work and lets him relax.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Nick has been known to be a little rougher. He’s definitely an aggressive power bottom.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Absolutely his efficiency often leads to everyone cuming very quickly.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Literally no. He would hate to be found in a compromising position AND not know what he’s doing.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Nick can go on average two or three rounds without penetrative sex and one or two with.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Nick doesn't own any toys, although he's always been open to trying them and will gladly if his partner asks.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Nick is such a tease. It takes him some time to get comfortable enough in the relationship to tease but once he does…he loves it.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Nick is pretty quiet, he tends to hold back a bit. Half the fun though, comes from dragging every little noise out of him. The best ones are the small breathy moans he makes and the half-choked groan when he comes.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Personally I think he’s a rigger. His partner needs to be open to being his ropebunny.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Nick has a 7 inch cock that he's quite proud of.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
His sex drive is pretty middle of the road. He is however immediately turned on when his partner initiates.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
When he bottoms he falls asleep quite fast, he'll get tired as soon as his partner pulls out. Otherwise he’s not very sleepy at all.
#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo
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Spicy Alphabet: Brahms Heelshire
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He's either cuddling you or playing with you some more to go for another round. As far as cleaning up, you'll be the only one cleaning. He's content with laying in those juices.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His legs are quite nice for someone who's been in the walls. They are toned and hairy, which makes him feel more like a man.
Your genitals are his favorite. It's the site of pleasure that he can't get enough of. Your private parts were beautiful and his favorite to touch.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Anywhere. Brahms will cum anywhere on you. He likes feeling cum on himself. He shoots a mean load too. It's pretty astounding.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Considering his whole existence was a dirty secret, he has plenty.
He builds a makeshift sex doll of every nanny that works for his family. Stealing hair, clothes, art supplies, etc to get the doll as close to them as possible.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Not experienced at all. Although he is an avid masturbator and will read any topic he can on sex. Brahms will learn pretty quickly and will surprise you with tricks he's always wanted to try.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
This
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Brahms is neutral. Being goofy is not on his mind when he's in horny mode. However, he can be childish. So weird noises and sex lines will make him giggle.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Unkempt unless you trim it for him
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Moderately romantic. Sometimes it's verbal and/or physical. He's vocal about how attractive you are.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
There was one year where he jacked off daily. He wants to beat that record.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Let's see…voyeurism, mommy/daddy little guy, diapers, roleplay, cock milking, ruined orgasm, and much more.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere through the wall. He loves gloryholes
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
If you wear any sexy maid outfits while cleaning or taking care of him. Flashing him randomly. Vulgar dirty talking.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He doesn't like to be bound, so no rigging. No candles/anything that would require fire. He also doesn't want to be humiliated about anything he's into.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
40% giver and 60% receiver. His skill could use some work. He'll only do oral on you for a few minutes, then he's ready to do something else.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Fucks like a rabbit. He will calm down over time, but he will still be fast-paced
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Loves quickies. He especially likes to make a teasing game out of it. Doing regular activities with random sprinkles of quickies. Getting into action in one position for a few minutes, stopping, wandering off elsewhere, and then more action again. It gives him an explosive finish.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yes, whatever either of you wants to try. He's very insistent on trying out crazy fetishes. Brahms won't care if you're uncomfortable.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
How many rounds he can go in one session is 3. Spaced out through the day: 5. He lasts around 20 minutes for each one
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He makes his own sex toys. He'd also very much appreciate if you buy him toys. He'll use them often.
He would like to use sex toys on you or just watch you use them on yourself. Preferably if you weren't intending on him to watch.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Brahms is more unfair to himself since he has a habit of trying to give himself blue balls before giving in. In turn, it teases you as well - although that isn't his intention.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Loud 📢! Not afraid to moan and talk to you. Brahms begs a lot with a low, whiny tone. He sounds desperate the whole time.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He told you that he wanted to get you pregnant so you could breastfeed him. You looked at him with various degrees of crazy, depending on how possible that idea could even be.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
A solid 6. He's uncut. The skin on his penis is slightly more tan than the rest of his body. his girth is on the skinnier side
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Go get a telescope 🔭 and look into space. That'll give you an idea of how high his sex drive is.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
If he has no intention of a multiple-round session, then he's taking a nap.
#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms x reader#slasher x reader#spicy alphabet#grown folks business#x black reader
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Ambivalent Days
Jim Halpert x Trans Man Reader (PART TWO)
Can be read alone, but I do reference part one, so read that HERE if you want to be caught up!
Summary: You’ve finally come out as trans to the entire office. It’s gone a lot better than expected. But now you’re faced with a serious problem- or rather, a serious crush. On none other than Jim Halpert, leading supporter of your transitions and quickly becoming your best friend in the office. But are you willing to risk that friendship just for some silly little feelings?
Tags: FtM!reader, Gay!Jim (for narrative reasons, I think i wanted him to be bi in the first part but switched it around, whatever), implied gay!reader (all i said was ‘not straight’), trans supporter Dwight, peacekeeper!Pam, supportive!Kelly Kapoor, bisexual!Kelly, drinking in moderation, happy ending
Warnings: Michael being absolutely ridiculous and attention-hungry to the point that he does bad things (so, like, normal episode?), some general swearing
A/N: This has been requested so many times, both in asks and requests. I’ll try my best to tag everyone who asked for this, sorry if i forgot any! I was excited to write this because I loved the first part, but figuring out where to start was the trickiest part. I hope you all enjoy! (this entire fic ended up just writing itself once i got going. I had no clue what i was gonna do until it happened so… enjoy lol)
Life was great, working as a Customer Service representative for Dunder Mifflin paper company. Wow, you never thought you’d say such a thing, but it really has become something appealing, something that had you smiling and willing to come to work every single day. Of course, it had its own ups and downs, times when you felt overwhelmed or frustrated at certain people. You still ended up enjoying the majority of the day, and sometimes the rough days turned out to end up better than the rest.
It had absolutely, wholeheartedly nothing to do with James Duncan Halpert, otherwise known to his work colleagues as ‘Jim.’ You continued to lie to yourself, nodding along to this thought process on your drive to work. It was rainy, just like most days, and you were bored out of your mind waiting in the traffic. You just enjoyed going to work, because… Because of all of your friends, that’s why! Sure, that might include Jim, but that also included Pam, and Oscar, and god forbid, even Dwight. He’s certainly grown on you over time, having completely accepted your identity, even defending you against anyone who said anything. You couldn’t be sure, but you suspected that Dwight had even lost a customer through those actions- but when Mr Dellicker had called for customer support and you had answered the phone, saying his name out loud, Kelly had rushed around the divider and ripped the phone from your hand, immediately transferring it to her own phone. You tried to listen in, curious why this was so important to her, but you kept hearing her say the same thing over and over.
“Thank you for your consideration, but we no longer want your business with us. I completely understand that you think so, but we no longer want your business with us. While that may or may not be true, this whole conversation is futile considering we no longer want your business with us.”
Mr Dellicker had become a hushed topic around you, but you had managed to catch a private whisper among your friends one day when he was brought up again. They’d ask Kelly if he had called yet, and she assured the situation was handled. Pam had whispered, “I can’t believe some people’s views on trans people. It makes no sense.” So, while it wasn’t likely due to you specifically, you were almost sure that you were the only trans person they knew. If they were defending trans people, they were defending you alongside it all.
You pulled into the parking lot finally, shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. Mr Dellicker’s whole deal had been a problem a month ago and was no longer an issue. You shouldn’t dwell on those thoughts, you weren’t likely to ever have to worry about it again. You managed to snag a semi-decent parking space. It was only the second from the front, but it happened to be right next to Michael’s own car, and as you placed your car into park, you glanced over to notice he was still sitting there. You tilted your head in confusion, watching for a moment.
You couldn’t tell if he was psyching himself up, or singing along to one of his weird songs. He seemed ready to open the door, then leaned back once more without actually doing it. He lowered the visor on his car, flipping open the little door to reveal his mirror and looking at himself in it. He continued, probably, speaking to himself, and you just shook your head and decided to leave it be. You reached for your suitcase and umbrella, then began making your way inside.
You were stuffing your umbrella into the little holder by the door after you entered the office, taking off your long overcoat and hanging it on the coat rack by Pam’s desk. She smiled, asking about what you did over the weekend, and you answered that you didn’t really do much besides binge the next season of your current obsession. You agreed to tell her about it later, moving toward the break room for your normal cup of tea. You pat Jim on the shoulder on the way, and he reaches up quickly to touch your hand before you slip by. It causes a smile to cross your face as you continue on your path, a happy feeling welling up inside.
“I. Am a girl.” You spin around quickly, eyes widening in fright. There stood Michael Scott, wearing a short, pleated pink skirt with his normal yellow button-down dress shirt, as well as a crooked ginger wig that he had most definitely not been wearing in his car. The room falls completely quiet, and you hear two people put their calls on hold. Jim stands, and you can’t see his face from this perspective, but you hear a hardness in his voice.
“Michael, this is not a funny joke-”
“It’s not a joke!” Michael yells out, crossing his arms. He purses his lips before speaking again in a higher tone. “I’m a girl, and so I decided to say it. That I am.” He looked around the room as if expecting something, but no one moved a muscle. Pam broke the silence, clearing her throat and talking in a tone that was both cautious and unbelieving.
“Alright, so what would you like us to call you, then?” Michael sputtered at the question, throwing his hands outward and looking around the room again. His eyes settle on me, and Jim sidesteps to block off his vision. You can no longer see Michael, but the image of him has burned into your mind anyway. You could feel yourself panicking, your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest. This had to be a prank right? He was making fun of you? Now? After all this time?
“What do you mean- Y/N didn’t change his name when he came out!”
“This has nothing to do with Y/N,” Jim quickly tries to interrupt him after hearing your name, but you heard his sentence all the same. Jim walked closer to Michael, leaning down to whisper, but even you could still hear his words in the silence your boss caused. “How about we talk this out privately and continue this announcement later?”
“But-”
“I think that’s a fantastic idea, Jim,” Pam calls out quickly, circling her desk and corralling Michael into his office. He was putting up a fight, but not much of one. Jim followed closely behind, closing the door behind him. You could see multiple faces turn to look at you- as their current entertainment had been dragged away- out of the corner of your eye, but you were still there, shell-shocked. Before you realized what you were doing, you were standing directly outside Michael’s office door, peeking around the side to look in through the window. You could hear them talking still, considering the rest of the office was waiting to see what you would do.
“No, no, no!” Michael yelled out, plopping down into his seat. “I’m serious about this you guys!”
“Alright, let’s assume you are,” Pam begins, but Jim looks at her with an aggravated look.
“Pam-”
“Let’s assume you are,” Pam repeats, pushing Jim away and leaning closer to Michael. “How did you come to this decision?”
“I-” Michael hesitates, looking at his computer, then back to Pam. “Well, I really like girls a lot.”
“Sure, sure, but sexuality and gender are different.”
“I know that, Pam! God!” Michael starts flipping random pens on his desk, trying to distract himself. “I just like their clothes a lot.”
“You like to wear the clothes, or see them on women?”
“See them-” He stops, looking up to her. “I mean, wear them! Yeah, that’s what it is!” His stuttering and determination caused Jim to huff in a humourless laugh, no longer just standing by.
“What’s really going on here Michael?”
“And,” Michael begins, ignoring Jim’s question, “What was that question about what I wanted to be called? Y/N didn’t change his name when he came out?”
“Sure,” Pam agrees, trying to maintain the peace, “But Michael isn’t a very feminine name. Doesn’t that make you feel a little, I don’t know, dysphoric?”
“What does that word mean?” Michael asks, causing Jim to huff again, moving forward to slam his hands onto the table.
“What is really going on here, Michael?”
“Fine!” Michael yelled out, throwing up his hands, his fake hair swinging around wildly. “I don’t think I’m a girl! I don’t like wearing dresses or skirts or-” He spits, swatting away the fake hair that had managed to catch itself in his mouth, “And I’m so uncomfortable in this,” He pulls the wig off finally, throwing it onto the ground. He stands next, reaching for the skirt he was wearing, “Or this-”
“No, no, no!” Pam calls out quickly, keeping him from ripping the skirt off in front of them. “I’ll fetch you your spare pair of pants here soon, it’s at the desk. Just,” She sighs, shaking her head, “What could’ve possibly made you think this was a good idea, Michael?”
“Well!” Michael huffs, pouting as he sits back down. “Y/N got all sorts of attention when he came out. He became cool, and popular, and now I’m not even allowed to make jokes about him! Everyone hates me now, he took my thunder!”
“You can still make jokes about him,” Pam continues cautiously, raising her hands up in a plea to calm him down. “Just, not about the fact that he’s trans.”
“My thunder Pam!”
“This is fucking ridiculous,” Jim begins, reaching forward and grabbing hold of Michael’s shirt. “That stunt you pulled was mean-spirited and heinous. Do you have any idea how you could’ve made Y/N feel? How hard it was for him, not only to accept himself for who he is but to become confident enough in himself to come out to the entire office? Do you realize how much you probably just put him back?” Michael’s face was terrified, and Pam was too stunned at this action to do anything at first. By the time Jim was done talking, she reached forward quickly and pulled him back.
“Jim, that’s unnecessary.”
“I feel it was completely necessary, Pam.”
“He doesn’t realize what he’s doing, he just wants attention.”
“He gets attention every single day Pam! He demands it, hell, he goes out into the office and-”
“Jim,” Pam interrupts, nodding toward Michael. You watch Michael visibly sniff, raising a hand to rub at his nose.
“No, no, he’s right. I’m a nuisance, everyone hates me.”
“No one hates you, Michael,” Pam starts, and Jim scoffs.
“You’re babying him.” She shoots him a threatening look, and he just shakes his head and crosses his arms. Pam moves closer to the desk, looking down at Michael.
“Hey,” When Michael looks up, his eyes are red and glossy. “What you did just now, was that a good idea?”
“No,” He whines out, drawing out the vowel.
“Good, that’s the correct answer. And why was it a bad idea, Michael?” He huffs again, moving to play with a different toy on his desk and avoiding her eyes.
“Because I lied for attention.”
“And?”
“Because I probably made Y/N feel bad. And Jim.”
“So what are you going to do?” Pam asks, and you can’t see her expression but Michael finally meets her eyes and breathes in a deep breath.
“I’m going to tell everyone that it was a horrible prank and that I’m sorry.”
Even Jim startles at this, both Pam and Jim- even you, yourself- having never actually heard Michael apologize for one of his many failed pranks or skits. Pam straightens up, glancing quickly at Jim before looking back. Her voice was full of surprise as she nods, “That’s right. That’s completely right, actually. Good job Michael.” You could see him smile before looking down at his lap, then back up at Pam.
“Can I do it after I change?”
“Of course,” Pam moves quickly to the door, and you don’t think fast enough to move out of the way. The door swings open wide and you are revealed to be standing there, right outside of it. All three occupants turn to look at you with varying expressions, but they all share a similar surprise. You swallow hard, locking your eyes with Michael. You are about to speak but can feel eyes digging into your back, so you take a few steps into the office, past your two friends.
“What you did just now,” You begin, sucking in another deep breath, “Was horrifying- for everyone involved. I’m sure we want to see you in a skirt just as much as you want to be in one.” You lean forward onto the desk, watching Michael shrink away from you. “But let me ask you, how does it feel to wear that skirt?”
“What?” He looks startled at the question, looking to Jim and Pam for help. None arrived for him.
“How does it feel, wearing that skirt? Why aren’t you wearing a blouse with it? Couldn’t find one that fit, or did it feel too uncomfortable? What about the hair?” You nod down to wear the wig laid on the ground. “Was it annoying? Kept getting caught in your mouth, right? Drooped in front of your face, obscuring your vision?” You leaned forward, your breath coming out harsher. “Imagine you had breasts attached to you- and push past your sexuality. Imagine you had them and they couldn’t be removed.” You whisper this last part, your own eyes tearing up. “How would you feel?’
You hear Jim say your name softly behind you, realizing what you were referencing. Michael shook his head for a few seconds before he stopped, widening his eyes. You nod, continuing your speech. “Yeah, exactly.” You lean back, picking your hands off of his desk to rest by your side. “That’s how I feel every single day. Or, did. Until I came out.” You take a deep breath, steadying yourself. “I became confident because I was finally comfortable with who I was. I’m sorry if you can’t find that confidence in yourself. But don’t try to steal mine. Don’t make a mockery of my struggles.” You turn, heading toward the door, toward your desk- to anywhere but here. But Michael’s voice stops you before you’re able to leave.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You turn, looking into his eyes. He seemed genuine, but you knew he didn’t really understand.
“Think about why you are. Then get back to me.”
You pushed your way past Pam, who stood in the doorway with shock and pain written across her face, and ignored Jim’s call of your name as you kept going. You wanted away from these stares, this was not what you meant by loving this damned office. You continued past the breakroom, ignoring your daily cup of tea. You enter into your side of the annexe, seeing Kelly on the phone and hearing a whispered but high-pitched, “What? No! He didn’t?” Before she suddenly looks up, widens her eyes, and quickly says, “Gotta go,” Before slamming the phone down. You sigh and walk around the divider, taking your seat.
Kelly has more social sense than most people in the office, you’ve come to realize. It was why she had applied for customer service- unlike you, who had just taken up an ad from the newspaper. So, she knew better than to try to ask you what happened. She remained quiet on her side of the partition, something that was extremely odd, and it almost felt like you were in your own little world, in your tiny corner. Your desk was pressed against two walls, and the partition blocked the other two sides except for the small gap for your entrance. The partition walls weren’t very high, but sitting down they reached above your head. You felt isolated- something you first loved, then hated, and now feel grateful for once again. It gives you time and privacy to calm down.
After some time, you hear a throat clear nearby, and Kelly’s chair roll as she likely stands to leave. You look up at the top of your divider, waiting for a face to come into view. Luckily, it’s Jim’s face. He smiles softly at you, and you can tell he’s trying to keep the pity from his face, but it's not working very well.
“You didn’t make your tea?” He raises a cup- your favourite cup, no less, that no one else has used since your incident with Dwight- and offers it to you. “I figured I’d make you some. Can’t go a day without your tea, right?” You can tell he was trying, and it warmed something inside of you. Trying for a smile, you reach out to take the cup, taking a sip. It was made perfectly.
“I’m sorry about that,” You begin, sighing and placing the cup aside. “I kinda went a little overboard, didn’t I?”
“Not at all,” Jim rushes to comfort you, circling the divider completely to be inside your little cube. He rests himself against your desk, looking down at you with earnest eyes. “If anyone was overboard, it was Michael.” You just shrug, looking away.
“I mean, what did I expect, really? Everyone in the office has been so good about the whole thing. Ever since I’ve come out, it's been nothing but positivity.” You bite your lip, shrugging. “This office isn’t exactly a positivity-friendly environment.”
“You being trans should have no bearing on your workplace,” Jim insists, leaning forward toward you. “I know the world is fucked, but I want to make sure that at least your world isn’t.” You huff a laugh, shaking your head.
“Oh, c’mon Jim. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” You look up, meeting his eyes with a self-deprecating smile. “It’s not like it's because of you that all of this ended up so easy until now.” Jim’s eyes widen slightly, then wander away as he wiggles his head and bites his lip. You wait for him to agree, then narrow your eyes. “You… Didn’t tell everyone to be nice to me, did you?”
“Well,” He begins, drawing out the word and wincing. “I didn’t quite do that. But I did explain that they shouldn’t act any different, what jokes they shouldn’t make about it, and to look something up before asking any questions. If they couldn’t find the answer online, then they could ask me, and then I would allow them to ask you.” You blink a few times, tilting your head.
“But no one ever asked me anything?” He nodded along, sucking his lips inside his mouth before popping them, sighing.
“Yep.”
“Did they have questions?”
“Oh,” Jim scoffs, laughing. “So many.” He places his hands between his knees, palms together. You couldn’t help but laugh with him.
“Like what?” You feel curious but also dread at the prospect.
“Oh, y’know,” Jim shrugs, moving to mess with some pens on your desk idly, not meeting your eyes. “Just the usual dumbest shit on the planet. I told them all they were absolutely not allowed to ask you, of course, and had to explain why sometimes.” You nodded along, huffing out another laugh.
“I suddenly don’t want to know.”
“Oh, no, you really don’t.” You laugh softly along with him, feeling your chest bloom open, your crush developing further. For the second time today, you were moving before realizing you decided to. You stood, then reached forward and pulled Jim into a hug. He had straightened when he noticed you standing, then stood stiff as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You hesitated, about to pull away when Jim moved quickly, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you in tighter. You relaxed once more, laying your head against his chest and closing your eyes.
“Thank you, Jim,” You whisper, turning your nose to brush against his dress shirt. He smelled clean, with a hint of cologne that you couldn’t place. His arms were warm and strong- comforting in a way that you hadn’t felt in so long. He moved one of them up, cupping the back of your head as he straightened up more, pulling you in closer.
“It’s nothing,” Jim stutters out, and you can hear his heart beating under your ear. “Someone’s gotta make sure these folks don’t chase you away.” You laugh, leaning back to look him in the eye. He seems sincere, solemn, as he adds, “I think I would be devastated if you quit.” You chuckle once more, shaking your head as you pull away.
“Oh, I’m sure.”
“No,” Jim lowers his head, trying to catch your eye once again. “I’m completely serious. You are probably the only reason I still show up.” He laughs, shaking his head. “I mean, I’m this old and stuck in this job?” You laugh along, shaking your head.
“You make good money here, Halpert, don’t deny it.” You feel slightly upset you had pulled away from the hug so soon, but you had to look at him after he said that. You had to see if he was serious- Jim is hardly ever serious, always joking around. It was part of the reason your crush developed so fast, and also why it’d always remain a secret. He was so funny, making you laugh constantly. But he was also a bit of a jokester, and you didn’t know if he had a serious bone in his body. Today was showing he certainly did.
You weren’t sure if you’d be able to handle it.
You both spend some more time chatting, and his presence is a balm that soothes your panicked heart. He tries his best to make you laugh- which you do, often- and you finish your morning cup of tea in the meantime. You were sure you could’ve talked to him forever if only your phone hadn’t rung. You shrug with helplessness, reminded that you’re technically at work and still have a job to do. You reach to pick up your phone, apologizing to Jim who waves you off. You watch him walk away as you answer the phone, “Dunder Mifflin paper company, customer service representative speaking.”
It ended up being a quick call, with someone complaining that their shipment was late. You only had to find their account to let them know that the delivery was scheduled for today and the time. Once you placed the phone back in its slot, you raised your cup to your mouth before remembering it was empty. ‘Eh, might as well,’ You think to yourself, pushing to stand and make your way to the breakroom. Kelly is back at her desk as you circle around, and you make sure to say a soft greeting to her to make up for your earlier rudeness. She says a polite and short greeting back with a gentle face, still conscious of your rough morning.
You’re about to pull the door to the breakroom open when you notice the back of Jim standing at the counter. He was hefting a freshly brewed pot of coffee, and you couldn’t help but stand there and watch his arm flex as he hefted it with no problem. You didn’t see the other door open, but suddenly Kevin was walking directly into Jim’s space.
“I have another question.” Jim sighs visibly, shaking his head.
“Haven’t I told you enough-”
“No, this is a different question, Jim!” Kevin seems adamant, and after Jim puts the coffee pot away he takes a side step to regain some personal space. “And you said yesterday there’s a limit of stupid questions I’m allowed to ask a day so I couldn’t ask yesterday!”
“You have until I finish making my coffee.” You’ve never seen Jim quite so indifferent and snappy before, raising your curiosity. For some reason, you still stood there, barely peeking through the window of the door, still holding your empty cup.
“Ok, so if he still wanted breasts-”
“Nope.” Jim was already shaking his head, stirring sugar into his coffee.
“Alright fine, but also. Can he sow a penis-”
“Nope.” Kevin huffs in frustration, flapping his arms for a split second.
“Why do you keep saying no to all of my questions?” Jim finishes stirring his coffee, placing the spoon in the sink and turning to look directly at Kevin finally.
“Because all of these questions are way too personal.”
“How are they personal?” You tilt your head, furrowing your brow. How would they not be personal? Jim seems frustrated, running his free hand through his hair.
“You can’t just ask someone about their breasts or genitals, Kevin. You wouldn’t want anyone asking about your dick.”
“Actually, it’s kinda itchy-”
“Nope!” Jim pushes away from the bar, leaving immediately. You’re stuck between sympathy for both of them. You don’t think Kevin actually knows any better at this point, but you also just felt too awkward to even try to come up with an answer to those questions. However, were these the types of things that Jim had to put up with daily just to vet the office for you? Why would he put himself through all of that?
“He’s really trying, you know?” You startle from your thoughts, turning to look at Kelly still sitting in her rolling chair. You tilt your head in confusion, but also shifted on your feet, hoping to play off the fact that you’d been standing there this whole time.
“Who?” Kelly just gives you a look you can’t quite decipher, continuing.
“Jim, obviously.” She sighs, pushing herself away from her desk and standing. “He’s even asked me for help on occasion. Little things here and there, but he recruits the allies where he can find them.” You purse your lips, leaning back against the wall next to the door, crossing your arms while holding your cup upright still.
“Asked you for help? Doing what? Who else has he asked?”
“I knew you’d figure it out at some point, I just didn’t think it’d be when someone slipped through his fingers. Though, Michael is pretty unpredictable like that.” She shrugs with a smile like she’s trying to hold back a laugh. “His main ask for me was just to intercept anyone trying to bother you- most likely to ask the dumb questions. I just had to send them right back through the breakroom over to Jim’s desk.”
“Did that happen often?” She shrugs again, wiggling her head.
“Not often, but a few times. Mainly Kevin, he has a lot of questions.” You nod, glancing briefly toward the breakroom’s door before resting your eyes on her once more. You study her posture, then try to make a guess.
“The other was Mr Dellicker, wasn’t it?” She winces but nods nonetheless.
“He was a real ass.” She sighs dramatically, moving to lean against the wall next to you and bunching up one of the random, typical office posters that hang around throughout the floor. “He was Dwight’s client, actually. The moment Dwight heard him be even a small bit transphobic, he hung up the phone. This, of course, caught Jim’s attention. I mean, have you ever known Dwight to drop a client? Like, ever?” You shake your head in agreement, and she nods with you. “Yeah, right? Anyway, Jim asks, Dwight answered. To Dwight, that was the end of the entire thing. To Jim, however,” Her smile begins growing as she leans closer to you, “Well, he knew that Mr Dellicker would call back to complain. And who would be picking up the phone?”
“Customer service,” You mumble, absorbed into her story.
“Exactly!” She giggles now, unable to hold it back. “It was adorable, really, the way he begged me to make sure I took his call. He actually asked me to call the man first, but I told Jim I wouldn’t go out of my way just to aggravate someone who, as far as we knew, wouldn’t be calling back after such a rude hang-up. But he wouldn’t let up, so I agreed to keep an ear out.” She huffs now, widening her eyes with a far-off look. “Good thing I did, too. He was such an ass.”
“Thank you,” You say softly, bringing her back to the present. She tries to brush it off but you just shake your head, placing a hand on her arm. “No, not just for Mr Dellicker. For agreeing to help out at any point, just for me. For not making a big deal about my whole coming out, for never treating me any different or- just-” You hesitate, shaking your head. “Just everything, Kelly. You’re an amazing coworker.” You watch her eyes begin to water, and she lets out a wet laugh.
“Wow,” She raises her hands, wiping the corners of her eyes. “You’re going to make my makeup run.” She pushes up from the wall, circling you and entering into the breakroom, heading straight for the girls’ bathroom. You widen your eyes at this reaction, unsure, but take a deep breath and enter into the breakroom yourself. You still had some tea to brew.
You didn’t mean to idle, standing near the exit of the breakroom toward the annexe, but stuck in place watching Jim lean against Pam’s desk through the door’s window on the other side of the room. They were talking back and forth- a lot of laughing involved- and you couldn’t quite place the feelings whirling in your chest. It felt similar to jealousy, but you knew that wasn’t it. Envy? That perhaps she was his type, and not you after your transition? Insecurity?
You startle as Jim suddenly meets your eyes, watching him straighten up quickly. You try to act nonchalant, moving out of his line of sight to grab your lunch from the fridge, and sitting at the break room table. You’d finished your second cup of tea hours ago, and you were a tad overdue for your lunch break considering you had a whole host of emails that you usually respond to in the morning, but had to answer during your second cup of tea since you’d been just a tad distracted that morning. You bite your lip as the events from that morning fly through your mind, a whole host of emotions attached to them.
The door across the room opens, stopping your train of thought in its tracks. Jim walks in with a smile, moving toward the fridge. “Hey,” He greets you, scanning you with his eyes while you just sat there, slowly removing your lunch from its brown paper bag. “Was starting to worry you’d forgo lunch.” You laugh, then proceed to explain your lateness. As he sets his own lunch on the table, you begin to wonder if he waited for you. Then your eyes flicker back toward the door you’d been staring at him through.
“So, how’s Pam?” Jim seems a bit taken off guard at the question, turning to look at the door himself before looking back to you. He shrugs, taking his own lunch out of his lunch box.
“Uh, good, I guess?” He raises his sandwich, ready to take a bite before hesitating and adding on, “She’s excited to hear about that one show you mentioned this morning.” You nod along, watching as he begins to eat his sandwich. You take your own small bite, looking toward the door again.
“She’s cute, isn’t she?” Jim’s eyebrows furrow immediately, and you watch him swallow. He seems to be planning his actions in his head before he performs them, placing his sandwich down.
“What?” He looks around the room aimlessly, wiggling his head. “I mean, yeah of course. She’s cute.”
“You two get along really well.” At this he chuckles, shrugging.
“We’ve worked together for a long time.” You both fall silent, taking more bites of your food. Jim breaks the silence with a resounding, “I’d probably have developed a crush on her by now if I wasn’t gay.”
Gay.
You end up lightly choking on your bite from surprise, playing it off with a cough and a sip of your water bottle. You can see Jim staring down at his sandwich at the table, taking a deep breath. “So, I can see why someone would develop a crush on her. If he was straight.” He glances briefly up at you, then back down to his sandwich. You tried your damndest to keep the look of shock from your face, that it takes an extra minute before you understand what he’s not saying. Did he think you were asking because you had a crush on Pam? You take another sip of water, letting your eyes wander away from him.
“Yeah, same.” Out of the corner of your eye, Jim glances up at you quickly, a look of concentration on his face that indicates his thoughts roaming a million miles an hour. You shrug for show, moving your own food closer so you can take a bite once you finish speaking. “I’d probably have developed a crush as well if I was straight.”
You only recognized the signs of Jim choking since you’d just gone through the same thing, as the man turns to cough into his arm as if to play it off. At least the poor man hadn’t been chewing food like you were. By the time Jim finished drinking from his own bottle, and moved to lean forward and say something, he was interrupted by the door opening and someone entering inside. He leans back, looking self-conscious, and you feel such a deep curiosity about what he was going to say that it burns in your chest. You don’t even register who walked in until she was taking a seat right next to you.
“I don’t know how you can stand it, Jim,” Kelly begins softly, and you look at her with confusion. Kelly never talks softly? “Working right next to the receptionist's desk all day. How do you get any work done?” Jim’s eyes flicker between you and Kelly, clearing his throat.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, she’s so hot!” You and Jim meet eyes suddenly, listening to her continue to talk in a soft voice. No wonder, considering she was essentially coming out to the both of you. “When I first started and had to work over in that area, I was getting nothing done. Toby had to ask me what was wrong, and I sorta kinda told the truth that I was extremely distracted. He moved me to the annexe-” She pauses here, resting a hand on your arm with a sympathetic expression, “Sorry, Y/N, that’s why you’re confined back here as well.” You shake your head quickly, rushing in.
“No, it’s fine. I like it back here.”
“You do?” Jim asks with a smirk, and you give him a look essentially saying ‘Shut the fuck up Halpert I’m trying to console her.’ He just laughs noiselessly, his chest shaking as he moves to take another gigantic bite of his sandwich.
“Anyway, it’s so distracting. I had to go get something copied and I stood there an extra five minutes trying not to stare too directly at her. Oscar literally had to nudge me and remind me what I was doing!” She groans, letting her head fall onto the table. “So embarrassing.”
“Oscar knows?” You ask gently, unsure whether she actually realized she told you both. She lifts her head with a sigh, seemingly unfazed.
“Well, yeah. Oscar knows about everyone.” You hear Jim scoff softly, mumbling quietly under his breath.
“Not everyone.” This only causes Kelly to raise an eyebrow at Jim, smirking with humour.
“Oh, he knows about everyone, Jim.” His head was quick as it whipped toward Kelly, leaning in.
“Wait, what?”
“I mean,” She shrugs, glancing toward you briefly before meeting his eyes again. “You’re kinda obvious, Jim.” You can see his eyes widen, but you only feel confusion.
“Wait, how many people are gay in this office?” Kelly only shrugs, refusing to meet your eyes.
“Not my place to say.” You nodded along, obviously that being true. You meet Jim’s eyes once again, and you can see red peppering his cheeks.
“I’m sure it’s fine, Jim.” He nods as if agreeing, flicking his eyes between you and the rest of his sandwich throughout the rest of lunch. Kelly takes the initiative in the ensuing silence, talking about everything yet nothing at the same time. Just as you and Jim are both cleaning up to get back to work, Kelly sighs loudly with an eyeroll before looking toward you and plastering on a smile. The look only made you feel wary.
“So, Y/N, what are your plans for after work?” You swallow roughly, glancing at a wide-eyed Jim, then back to her.
“Uh, nothing really?”
“Oh,” She draws out, reaching forward and placing a flirty hand on your arm. “So you’re free tonight? Want to go out for drinks?” You stutter, pulling away from her arm, your head already shaking as you try to come up with an excuse. ‘Didn’t she just say that she found Pam attractive? What the hell is going on?’
“Uh, Kelly-” Jim tries to intercept, but she pulls away as if nothing happened, shrugging.
“I just meant with the lot of us. Jim will be there too, won’t you Jim?” She looks directly at him, raising her eyebrows as if she was expecting something from him. You look between the two as an awkward silence settles before Jim startles, trying (and failing) for a normal smile.
“Oh! Those drinks!” Jim laughs awkwardly, looking back and meeting your eyes. “Yeah, we’re all going out for happy hour at Poor Richard’s Pub, you should join us!” You relax slightly as Jim was the one offering, no matter how weird this entire interaction ended up being.
“Oh, uh,” You hesitate, still slightly wary. There’s obviously something you’re missing here. “I mean, sure. I have nothing else to do. Who all will be there?”
“Just a couple people from the office,” Kelly quickly answers, standing and moving to throw her own trash away. She turns to look at both you and Jim, still sitting in your chairs. “Well, c’mon! We have work to do, people!”
“I know why I’m sorry now.” You startle at your desk, turning to look directly at Michael Scott with wide eyes. You hadn’t even heard him approach. He circles around your desk, motioning for you to stop your work as he leans against your desk- an unknowing imitation of Jim that morning. “If you’re willing to listen?”
You can feel yourself swallow roughly, the beginnings of a familiar panic starting in your chest. You’re unsure what to say, so you just nod. He nods as well, taking a deep breath before continuing. “At first, I had no clue what you meant. I knew I was sorry, and I knew it was because I had hurt you.” He looks into your eyes, regret deep within his own. “But that wasn’t enough for you. So I started thinking.” He chuckles softly, leaning back on his hands and letting his own gaze roam the walls behind your desk. “And when that didn’t work, I remembered something Pam said when she tried to play along with my- well, yeah. A certain word I didn’t recognize. Dysphoric.”
You feel yourself tense, suddenly remembering the tightness around your chest where the binder lays under your clothes. You can feel the tie around your neck like it was trying to choke you. Michael, unaware of your inner struggles, continues on. “That search was enlightening- it was like everything you had expressed to me. And everything I had felt, trying on those clothes.” He hunches inward, his expression becoming stormy. “I felt so wrong wearing that skirt. And you were right- I had tried a blouse on. I bought one at the store that fit and even brought it home, but it just felt so weird when I tried to walk out of the door with it on. So I switched to my normal shirt.
“Then I was sitting in the parking lot, and I knew that the moment I placed my foot out of my car, everyone would see the skirt. I was-” He laughs humourlessly, shaking his head. “I was terrified. I tried to ignore it- like it was just stage fright, something I had to talk myself into.” You began to nod, intrigued by his story. “I don’t know how I convinced myself to get out of the car- I guess something along the lines of, ‘Well, I’m the boss. The ship will sink without me in there.’” He takes a deep breath, patting his legs loudly. “Anyway, I was jealous.” He shrugs, looking at you with wet eyes. Was he really getting emotional over this? “I mean, you did kinda steal my birthday away from me.”
Memories of that night flash quickly through your head. You’d come out during a party- a party you didn’t know the purpose of. That pink quinceañera cake… You didn’t get to taste it, but they could’ve gotten it because it was his favourite flavour? You hadn’t even seen Michael there. Was he trying for a grand entrance? Memories from this morning flash through your mind’s eye, Michael yelling at Pam, ‘He stole my thunder! My thunder, Pam!’
“It wasn’t planned, Michael,” You try to assuage, wincing despite yourself. “I’m sorry, though.” Your apology causes Michael to blow a sigh out roughly, then laugh and slap his thighs again.
“Wow! I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that.” You’re both silent- you studying Michael’s face, and Michael looking anywhere but at you. Then you start laughing.
“Michael,” You try to talk through your laughter, but you just shake your head and try to get it under control. You wouldn’t want him to think you were making fun of him- you only found him ridiculous- so you try your best to calm down. “Michael. You were upset that I ‘stole your thunder’ on your birthday, so your response was to… Pretend to be a girl? Instead of, oh I don’t know,” You try to hold back your laughter again, choking lightly on your words, “Throwing another party?” Michael seems to take a moment to absorb this- then begins to laugh alongside you.
“Well, that would’ve only been easy, Y/N. When have you known me to do things the easy way?” You both laughed again, and you began to shake your head.
“Never.” When your laughter finally dies down, you meet his eyes once again. Staring at each other, it's like you both finally understood. You thought he was just ignorant, but you had been missing out on important information as well. He began to nod, glancing over his shoulder toward the nearby wall clock.
“Well, looks like I kept you long enough. Time to clock on out!” He jumps up, shooting finger guns before backing up. He trips over the edge of the divider, tries to play it off, and then groans loudly when he sees Toby walking by. “God, every time!”
You chuckle to yourself, then begin the process of shutting down your computer and packing up. Kelly skirts around the divider quickly once the door closes behind Michael, leaning into your space. “Let me drive you.” You hesitate, widening your eyes.
“I’m sorry?”
“To the pub! Let me drive you!” You laugh nervously, beginning to shake your head.
“Oh, uh, no. I have my own car, but thank you-”
“If you drink, you won’t be able to drive home.” She counters, raising her eyebrows at you. You laugh again, shaking your head.
“Well, if we’re all drinking, wouldn’t you drink too?” She shakes her head immediately, crossing her arms.
“I don’t drink at all.” You still feel hesitant, and it must show on your face as she sighs and then leans in. “I’ll tell you Jim’s whole deal.” This catches you, looking back at her to study her.
“What do you mean…?”
“I’ll tell you if you let me drive you!” You huff a laugh, smiling despite yourself. “Yeah, alright. But if I don’t drink, you gotta’ take me back here so I can drive myself home.”
“Deal! And if you do, then I’ll drive you home and pick you up for work tomorrow morning!” You laugh again, shaking your head as you pick your briefcase up, finished with closing down your desk for the day.
“You seem excited about this.”
“Absolutely! I’ve been waiting forever!”
You were still unsure what she meant but followed along with the hyperactive girl as she burst through both of the doors to the breakroom. You watch Jim straighten where he had been leaning against Pam’s receptionist's desk, and smile toward you as you made your way to the exit.
“You know,” Jim starts, huffing a soft laugh and smiling in a way that took your breath away, “I was thinking.”
“Oh,” You draw out, smiling despite yourself, “Dangerous territory there, Halpert.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jim begins, laughing again. He takes a discreet look around before reaching forward to almost take your hand, his fingers tangling with your own but not quite grasping. “I was hoping that maybe I could drive you down to the pub? I know you have your own car and all, but I just want to make sure you’re safe with getting home, y’know?” Your face falls just as you hear Kelly’s voice behind you.
“Oh, don’t worry Jim! He has a ride already.” Jim looks toward Kelly over your shoulder, then back to you with wide eyes, pulling his hand away.
“Already?” Jim looks back to Kelly, confusion clear across his face.
“Oh, don’t get your panties in a twist, Jim!” You feel her small hand wrap around your bicep, pulling you toward the door. “We’ll meet you there!”
You take one last look at Jim through the glass doors as Kelly drags you along to the elevator. You hesitate, mind trying to catch up, before you finally clear your throat and look at her. “No offence here, Kelly, but I honestly think I would’ve preferred riding with Jim?”
“You’ll have the rest of your life to ride with Jim. Just let me tell you what I need to tell you without the risk of Jim hearing us.” You both step onto the elevator, as Kelly begins mashing the button for the lobby.
“Uh,” Your mind is stuck, repeating ‘rest of your life’ and ‘Jim’ over and over. “This feels… Is this nefarious?”
“‘Nefarious,’” Kelly mocks, pulling you once the doors open again. “You say the oddest things sometimes.” You didn’t know which car was hers, but considering she was dragging you along, you didn’t have to guess. She pulls your briefcase from your hands, finally letting go of you, and you just stand in place. She throws your suitcase and her purse into the backseat, then opens the driver's door with a look up at you. “Well, get in!”
It was quiet for a long portion of the drive. You didn’t know what to ask, or how to even broach the subject. Did it seem too eager, to ride along with her just because she promised to tell you about Jim? And what was she even talking about- how would Kelly know more about Jim than you? True, you both hadn’t been friends for very long just yet, but you didn’t know Kelly and Jim were friends?
“So, it started when you started transitioning,” Kelly said, bursting you from your whirlwind of questions. “We all got pretty curious. I was the one who had the theory you were trans first.” She winces, looking over to you. “Sorry. I didn’t know at the time how true I was. I honestly didn’t even know if you knew about it, but- well, obviously you did.” You tilt your head, brow furrowing.
“You all were talking about me before we were friends?”
“Well, you know how the office is. You were changing, and people were noticing. Especially Pam and Jim. Pam, who is such a sweetheart and just wants everyone to be comfortable. She had a feeling you were never quite comfortable at the office but didn’t know how to help. Jim found you hot, which was throwing him for a loop considering he is gay, and normally not attracted to-” She hesitates, tilting her head. “Well, we did think you were a girl at the time.”
You nod along, unoffended. “Right, but-” You scoff, shaking your head, “I don’t know if I believe this story now. I mean, Jim? Finding me-” You almost say the word, then scoff softly and look down to your lap. “Attractive?”
“Well, you are hot,” Kelly confirms, and you look up quickly at her. You aren’t sure what expression is on your face, but Kelly just laughs. “What? Don’t look at me like that! You were hot when we all thought that you were a girl, and you’re even hotter now that we know you’re a boy!” You laugh in disbelief, shaking your head. Kelly continues on, pushing through your awkwardness. “I mean, c’mon! Confidence is sexy as hell.”
You look away, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks as you remember Jim saying something similar. “Sure, but-” Kelly interrupts you, continuing with her story.
“So once you finally came out, Jim had his own little freak-out because it wasn’t just a theory anymore. It is true, you are a dude, and Jim didn’t know if he could handle you getting hotter and hotter every day.” You flashback to another scene in your head, Jim saying something similar to Pam and you laughing, accusing him of finding Dwight attractive. Was he talking about you at that time? Kelly’s voice brings you back.
“Anyway, I finally told him that he needed to get his act together and ask you out already, or I’d do it first. Either ask you out for myself or for him, but either way. I don’t know if I could stand any more of him spewing about you, I mean- all I heard was Y/N this, or Y/N that, or ‘Wow he’s wearing the tie I gifted him!’ I mean, that man can talk.” You hold back a laugh, shaking your head. The one and only Kelly Kapoor, complaining about someone talking too much. That’d be hilarious to tell Jim- if you ever got the nerve together to tell him about this little conversation.
“Ok,” You huff out, shaking your head, “You’re asking me to believe that Jim not only finds me attractive but wants to date me?”
“Well, that’s where we’re going now! So you better believe it.”
“Going now- but you’re here? The office will be there, how would it be a date?”
“It’s going to be a date,” Kelly starts slowly, looking at you with a grin, “Because it’s not an office hangout. I’m going to drop you off and leave, and then Jim can take you home. I only did this to get you both together outside of work, you’ll be all alone with him.” She huffs, squeezing the steering wheel around her hands. “And I’m telling you all of this before the date because I don’t trust Jim to admit anything to you without pushing him for it. If I’m not there to pressure him, then-”
“Woah woah woah,” You interrupt, shaking your head quickly. “I’m not about to pressure my best friend for- for some wild hope that he might feel the same. And I-” You can feel the panic again, pulling at the seatbelt around your torso. “I don’t know if I can do this, I didn’t know it would be just us, I mean-”
“Calm down, it’ll be fine. It’s just Jim, remember?” ‘It’s just Jim,’ You repeat to yourself as Kelly turns the car into the pub’s parking lot. You take a few deep breaths, nodding your head. ‘Yeah, I can do this. It’s just Jim, just normal ole Jim.’ Kelly backs her car into a space, waiting for Jim’s to arrive. It doesn’t take long to notice Jim’s car pulling in, parking in one of the front parking spaces, directly in your line of sight. You take another deep breath, nodding.
“I can do this,” You whisper, and Kelly reaches over to squeeze your arm. That’s when you watch two of the car doors open, Jim and Pam stepping out to take a look around. You hear a squeak beside you, Kelly’s hand tightening on your arm. You look over with concern, watching panic written across her face.
“Oh, Jim, you bitch,” Kelly whispers, shaking her head.
“This wasn’t part of the plan, was it?”
“Absolutely not,” Kelly whispers, then moves to get out of the car alongside you. You both approach the other two, smiles on your faces. They finally notice you, and it’s almost like you and Jim have locked eyes and thrown away the key. You’re unsure what’s really happening between the two girls, not registering the words exchanged. You walk a little closer to Jim, smiling up at him.
“Hey,” You whisper, and his smile widens, reaching his hand out in an imitation of earlier, tangling your fingers together.
“Hey.” He glances over to the other two girls, wincing and looking back to you. “I wasn’t sure- is it okay that I brought Pam?”
“Apparently,” You whisper, leaning closer and glancing briefly at Kelly to make sure she’s sufficiently distracted, “That wasn’t part of the plan. She told me she was throwing me out of the car and driving off.” You note the blush lighting up Kelly’s cheeks as she talks with Pam, before turning your attention back to Jim. You hadn’t realized you leaned in this close- or did he lean in as well? His face was next to yours, close enough to share a kiss.
“Shall we head inside? Guys?” You both jump apart, and you look guiltily over to Pam, who spoke. She only smiled in response, throwing a thumb over her shoulder. “We could grab a booth?”
The night was going well. It didn’t really feel like a date like Kelly had hoped it to be, but instead a nice get-together of a couple friends. You all laughed constantly, telling stories and jokes from the office, while also sharing your own life’s stories. No one really talked about their own life outside of the office while they were working, so it was a refreshing twist on things. You felt drawn even closer to the lot of them- Jim, especially, as he couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from you for too long. You weren’t sure, but you thought it was Jim’s leg under the table pressing against your own. You hoped so, anyway.
“But, yeah, Toby is so weird! You guys don’t get that vibe?” Pam continues, giggling as she sips her mixed drink. Jim and Kelly were the only two keeping away from the alcohol, but you had ordered your favourite mixed drink and had slowly been sipping on it. You knew you weren’t drunk yet, but you were pleasantly tipsy.
“No?” You hesitated, trying to think back over the times you’ve interacted with him. It was more often than most since you worked in the annexe, but he always seemed like a nice, if tired, man.
“It’s cause he has a crush on you,” Kelly nods, laughing alongside Jim. Pam blushes, shaking her head quickly.
“Oh, no, of course not.”
“Well, Kelly would know,” Jim points out with a grin, raising his glass to his mouth and taking a large gulp. You watch confusion rush across Pam’s face, while Kelly’s turns a bright shade of red. She mouthed his name behind her cup, giving him a stern look.
“What does he mean by that?” She asks, looking between you and Kelly, then back at Jim. “What do you mean?”
“Oh,” You begin, laughing under your breath. “Just that Kelly has a lot of experience talking with Toby. He was the one who moved her into the annexe, after all. It almost seems like they have a lot in common?” You end it with a question, trying your best to be vague. Jim almost spits out his drink with his laugh, turning to cough into the crook of his arm.
You hear Pam question, “Yeah, why were you moved into the annexe?” Right as Kelly mumbled from beside you, “Not that much in common. Like one thing.” You and Jim meet eyes, trying to keep the humour from your faces.
The rest of the night passed in much the same way. You still were unsure about the whole ‘Jim liking you’ bit but found yourself pleasantly hopeful. And it seemed like- if that was true- maybe Jim was trying to get back at Kelly by teasing her about liking Pam. You began to wonder if that was his plan all along, showing up with Pam randomly. Honestly, whether this was a double date or just a hang-out with friends, you found yourself enjoying the time immensely. But the night was wearing thin, and all four of you had work in the morning.
As you and Pam were helping each other out of the booths, making sure she hadn’t forgotten her purse, Jim and Kelly had run off to pay the bill. You glanced over at Jim- probably with a longing look since you can’t exactly help it, being slightly inebriated- and watched him lean in close to Kelly as they began whispering back and forth.
“He’s a good guy, y’know.” You look back over to Pam, eyes widening. “I don’t know you well enough yet to know your thoughts on him, but he is a good guy. And he deserves the world.” You chuckle softly, nodding.
“Yeah,” You say breathlessly, looking back over to him. He glanced up at the same time, and you can’t help the smile crossing your face. “I think so too.”
“Then tell him,” Pam insists, and you look back down to her. “He deserves to know that. He thinks he’s not worth your time, apparently.”
“That’s ridiculous-”
“What’s ridiculous?” Jim asks as the other two rejoin you and Pam. Pam smiles brightly leaning over to take Kelly’s arm.
“That you have to drive all the way across town just to drop me off, Jim!”
“Actually, we were just talking about that,” Kelly mumbles, and you smile watching her attempt to hold eye contact with Pam unsuccessfully. “If it’s okay with you, then maybe I could take you home? And Jim can take Y/N.”
“Yes!” Pam practically yells out, and you chuckle softly. You look over toward Jim, seeing him already looking your way.
“If that’s alright with you?” He whispers, and you nod immediately.
“Of course it is, Jim.”
“Good,” Jim says, releasing a breath as if with relief.
“Good,” You parrot, reaching forward boldly to take his hand. “Lead on, then.”
Once you and Jim make it to his car, you both wait before getting in to make sure Pam and Kelly are in their car safe and buckled. Once Kelly begins pulling out, Jim turns to you and leans in closer. “I had a fantastic time today.” You laugh, nodding along, leaning against his car and gravitating toward him.
“I did too. ‘Was surprised that Pam showed up, though.”
“Well, Kelly did say it was ‘the office’ going out for drinks. I thought it’d be fine.”
“Well, she didn’t actually mean the office, apparently. She was just trying to get us alone.” You shrug, smirking up at him. His deer-in-headlights look was gone now, for some reason. He seemed bold, leaning closer and taking your hand.
“And if it was? Would that have been fine?” You laugh again, nodding slowly.
“That would’ve been perfect.” His face slowly loses his teasing look, turning serious- but soft.
“Y/N,” Your name is husky in his mouth as he begins leaning closer, and you can smell his cologne in the air. Everything was so much, his smell, his body heat, his honey-brown eyes as he took up your entire vision. “Can I kiss you?”
“Please,” You whisper in return and meet him halfway as your lips crush together. He pulls the hand not holding yours to your face, lightly caressing your cheek throughout the heated kiss, and you grab hold of his hip with your own free hand, pulling him closer. You can feel him moan through the kiss, turning his head to deepen it. This was nothing like you’ve dreamed of- but oh, so much better.
When you two finally part, breathing heavily, he’s pressing you against his car with the length of his body. You both pant as you stare into each other’s eyes, and your grip slowly loosens on his hip. Eventually, he pulls away, clearing his throat with a blush. “Wow,” He whispers, a smile growing as he looks at you bashfully.
“Yeah,” You agree just as quietly, and Jim moves to open the passenger door for you. “Oh, right. Thank you.”
As you sat down in Jim’s car, ready to be driven home, you can’t help but think: ‘Man, I love working for Dunder Mifflin. Even the bad days can turn into the best ones.’
Tag List: @ltnoscara @zombieboyevan @cursedashes
#jim halpert x reader#jim halpert x trans reader#ftm!reader#gay!jim#pam beesly#michael scott#kelly kapoor#bi!kelly#the office toby mentioned#dwight shrute mentioned#drinking in moderation#happy ending#the office#fanfiction
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hello!! <3 how about some of our pillars (tomioka, rengoku, sanemi, shinobu?) accidently hurting their s/o as some sort of self-defense mechanism (nothing too serious) after a particularly nasty illusion made by a demon's blood art and how they would react?
Giyuu, Kyojuro, Sanemi, & Shinobu accidentally hurting GN!Reader
Warning(s): Mentions of Injury but nothing major
Author's Note(s): Just when I was a roll with requests, school had to start picking with heavy homework. That aside, enjoy these HCs.
Word Count: 639
Context: A demon had held its own against a couple of groups of Kinoe rank slayers, so the master thought it was best to send two Hashira. He chose you and your lover since you were a coordinated duo. However, during the battle, the demon struck your lover with a hallucinogen and then bolted like the coward it is. Naturally, you rush to your lover’s side to check on them.
Giyuu will be the least dangerous when under the influence of hallucination. He stands there deadpanned until he realizes you are reaching out to him and twists your arm, thinking you’re the demon.
That is until he recognizes your voice as you groan in pain and immediately lets you go. He would rather risk it being part of the hallucination than hurting you more. You got a mark on your wrist, but nothing major, but Giyuu would still feel guilty about it.
Nothing a few kisses, cuddles, and reassuring words can’t fix.
Kyojuro is a mix of Giyuu and Shinobu. He will defend himself moderately hard but stops after he kicks you in the stomach to get it away and hears you groan in pain.
Props to him, though; he took you to the butterfly estate while still under the effects of the hallucination.
He will be all smiles and sunshine when he is with you because taking care of you is his priority. His smile drops when he gets time to himself, and the guilt eats away at his radiance.
Words of reassurance and seeing you heal up will lift his mood.
Easily the most aggressive in defending himself.
He took a page out of Tanjiro’s book and headbutted you before going for his katana. A fist fight ensued between you as you struggled to keep his katana out of reach.
Luckily your crow flagged over some Kakushi who managed to sedate and restrain Sanemi, then carried him off to the Butterfly estate.
Sanemi didn’t remember anything after getting hit with the attack, and you told him your injuries were from the demon. Of course, he is smart enough to figure out that your injuries didn’t match a demon’s, so you reluctantly came clean.
Sanemi will be mortified and almost demand that you stay away from him for good. He promised to protect you, and he will feel like a failure.
It takes a lot to convince him that you will not leave him. He is unsure and will shy away from you for some time before he comes to terms with the fact that it’s not his fault. Ultimately, he is grateful to have someone like you by his side.
Aggressive but not as aggressive as Sanemi. You place a hand on her shoulder, and before you know it, she managed to throw you over her shoulder and slam you to the ground surprisingly hard.
You roll to the side to avoid her stabbing you with her katana, then get up to restrain her, which is easy thanks to her small stature. Not that it would keep her from kicking and biting until you managed to soothe her enough to see reason.
The only injury was a minor concussion from hitting your head hard when she threw you.
Shinobu will feel the least guilt. It’s not because she doesn’t care about you; she knows it was the demon’s fault she hurt you. Also, she may have been impressed to learn that she could take someone taller than her down like that. Of course, she’d rather it be someone else than you, but she does bring it up in a teasing manner from time to time.
On a final note, it should go without saying, if either of them comes across the same demon, later on, it will suffer, and it won’t be pretty.
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#giyuu tomioka#giyuu x reader#shinobu kocho#shinobu x reader#kyojuro rengoku#kyojuro x reader#rengoku x reader#sanemi shinazugawa#sanemi x reader#demon slayer x reader#kny x reader#kny headcanons
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More Naib HCs: SFW & NS/FW
Some relationship hcs for my second favorite man (tied with Luca eheh).
I've got a short work week because of Thanksgiving, but I'll actually be spending the holiday alone. So, I'd love to get some more requests and matchups to keep me busy! I'll write for all IDV characters (even if I don't have anything posted for them yet!)
Enjoy! <3
Naib Subedar
SFW
-Naib is the type of person who sees the appeal in several different personality types, so he’s capable of falling for all sorts. That said, he subconsciously suppresses his romantic interest until the other person makes theirs clear. His line of work scares a lot of people off, so he prefers to play it safe rather than waste his time or risk making someone nervous. As soon as you make a move, though? Naib Suave-edar has entered the chat. I'm sorry I couldn't resist that joke.
-He also intimidates a lot of people with his sheer intensity. Naib has a strong, goal-oriented personality and he doesn’t shy away from things that are ‘embarrassing’. He speaks plainly about his feelings and intentions with you; you’ll never be left wondering where you stand with him.
-He’s so casual about compliments? He could be telling you a story about some place he visited and just drop the most heart-throbby lines. “Before I knew it the sun was coming up, and it was the same gold color that’s in your eyes, and this heron flew up—" And he just moves on like you shouldn’t wanna smother his face with your lips???
-VERY protective of his partner. Not possessive, to be clear. He’s just traumatized a worrywart. In this modern world, he’d want you to always share your location with him, and message him whenever you leave or arrive somewhere. Also, you’d better put him on your emergency contact lists. He wants to get to you ASAP if something happens. This all can be as sweet as it is frustrating, and it will be a long-term struggle in your relationship if you don’t like it. He’d secretly appreciate it if you reciprocated the concern, too. If you ever ask him to do any of the above, he’ll do it without complaint.
-Aside from being afraid of your spontaneous death, he’s fine if you two have to be separated for a while. You’re going on a beach trip with your friends? “Drive safe, love you, remember to respond to my good morning messages and call me at least once a day so I can hear your voice.” As long as you check in a couple times a day, he can control his anxiety.
-He always carries a picture of you. Keeps it folded together with the one of his mother. He’d love if you could meet her someday….
NS/FW
-He’s a switch, but the frequency he takes either role depends on the overall relationship dynamic. If Naib takes the leading role in the day-to-day, that will carry over to the bedroom, and vice versa. If you guys are more independent and rather equal, it’s a pretty even split of him going dom vs sub.
-Naib isn’t considered the wittiest guy around. He likes to banter but he's only good with roasting people. When he does come up with a good, dirty one-liner, it’s somehow only when you’ve got a drink to your mouth. You’re like 70% sure he just likes making you choke. Is this foreplay?
-Completely serious, he's a great kisser. His experience is moderate, but Naib reads body language well and learns fast. Give him just 30 (nonconsecutive) minutes to make out with you, test you, and he's got your weaknesses locked down.
-Naib likes sensation-enhancing stuff in the bedroom. Restraints, blindfolds, ice, and waxplay are all things he’s down for in moderation (giving or receiving). Gags are a hard no. He’s a stickler for having a safe word. If you’re gagged, you can’t use it. So it’s a no-go.
-He’s also kinda into semi-public sexy times? Call him an adrenaline junkie, but there’s a certain thrill to nearly being caught. He’s a very stealthy guy and can find some great spots for this where the chances of being caught are lower than they seem. That said, the no gags rule still stands, so it’s unlikely he’d suggest this unless he can trust you to keep quiet.
-Several rounds of sex is one of the few things you can rely on to tire Naib out. He’s high-energy and has super erratic sleep patterns, but if you two go at it for an hour or so he’s out like a light. He snores just a bit, not too loud. I promise it’s cute!
#identity v#idv x reader#identity v x reader#idv mercenary#naib subedar x reader#spicy content#turbulentscrawl
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Why the Kremlin will fear Dagestan’s anti-Semitic mob
Local officials have been trying to walk a delicate line between alienating local Muslim sentiment in the turbulent North Caucasus and doing anything to stir up further inter-ethnic violence.
[...] But this incident may force them – and Moscow – to take a stronger line. [...] The other is the degree to which this issue is being weaponised. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky quickly turned it into a propaganda point, blaming the incident on what he called Russia’s ‘widespread culture of hatred toward other nations.’ Conversely Sergei Melikov, head of the Dagestan Republic, has suggested that the violence was instigated by Ukraine.
[...] Of course, it suits Moscow to paint the protests as the result of sinister Ukrainian machinations just as much as it suits Kyiv to use them to demonise Russia as a land of prejudice and hate. Nonetheless, the Kremlin clearly fears that rising Muslim violence will not only further complicate its relationship with Israel but also risks destabilising the North Caucasus. It also fears that Ukrainian allies and intelligence agencies, which have already demonstrated their willingness to commit acts of sabotage and subversion within Russia’s borders, have little reason not to exacerbate this problem. This makes the crisis a serious security issue.
The Storming of Uytash
The attempted pogrom is not just rooted in antisemitic messaging, but in systemic dynamics in the region. General socioeconomic conditions in the republic continue to deteriorate. Basic necessities to live such as electricity, water, and gas are irregularly supplied, which led to sustained small protests only a few months ago. Additionally, Russia’s war in Ukraine has impacted Dagestan heavily, with significant casualties. Public appeals and small actions do not regularly succeed, with the authorities sweeping them aside. In some cases, residents have appealed directly to President Putin because of Governor Melikov’s unresponsiveness.
[...] Melikov has all but eliminated channels for moderate public expression. This leads to tactical outbidding that favors dramatic, extreme actions. An inability to protest built up pressure until a mob emerged.
Expressions of solidarity with Palestinians are effectively banned, despite both Russia’s growing ties with Hamas and that the attempted protests are not anti-state. Nightly prayers are essentially the sole form of collective support for Palestine permitted by the state.
Analysis of the event’s causes should be wary of overemphasizing individual actors’ roles in organizing it. The popular «Utro Dagestan» Telegram channel has received considerable attention for amplifying antisemitic narratives and purportedly instigating the attempted pogrom. Previously, it played a major role coordinating the anti-mobilization protests. However, its repeated calls for greater and continued resistance in September 2022 were not acted upon after a couple of days. [...] The influence of Utro Dagestan deserves focus, but assigning it causality would be misconstrued.
The security services’ strategy came across as, at best, poorly executed containment, at worst, active passivity. They largely refused to intervene, other than attempting to keep the mob out of the airport and off of the tarmac.
There are three apparent explanations for the non-engagement strategy. First, instructions came from the top, with the authorities deciding they could maintain sufficient control over the situation, while allowing the mob to release its built-up emotions. [...] Second, non-engagement could suggest that the security services supported the mob’s actions. As such, they decided to not stop the attempted pogrom. Finally, the authorities could have decided non-engagement was the best strategy to avoid escalation, considering the threat of an armed mob.
[...] The arrival of a military convoy in Makhachkala indicates the government’s preparation for continued troubles. As seen in the anti-mobilization protests, Dagestan’s young men are typically prepared to clash with police, so violence at the airport was not entirely surprising. However, the tarmac breachers went further than the usual brawling, with them firing shots into the air. This fact will not be overlooked. The authorities have been closely watching dynamics related to youth radicalization, calls for partisan action, and militant activity.
Dagestan, and likely the rest of the North Caucasus, is now facing heightened repression as a result of the storming of Makhachkala’s airport. This repression will not address actual problems or mobilizing factors, but add pressure within a strained system. The increase in antisemitic incidents reveal the potential for an explosion, as they represent uncontrolled violence beyond the state’s control—but, for now, it is not targeting the authorities.
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People on my dash discussing this hence it's on my mind,
There are serious social and legal implications of minors participating and accessing adult spaces, the problem is kids are still pretty self-absorbed and selfish and lacking true comprehension of external consequences in that underdeveloped brain sort of way (even the nicest, most considerate and critical-thinking kids are going to be this way to some degree, it's not an insult) to grasp that. Normal adults feel violated and gross when catching a kid interacting with their adult art and so on. Kids do not comprehend it can be a massive life-ruining legal issue too (which most minors cannot grasp because again, still underdeveloped brain type of self-absorbed lack of understanding of consequences. Also kids usually don't understand the legal system. It sounds harsh and insulting but that's how it IS. I remember being that way, myself). Adults who are happy that or at the least enabling minors being in adult spaces is a RED FLAG.
Making adult spaces and blogs and sites have warnings, entering your age, big 18+ and 21+ warnings and so on is a thing, even if it won't stop everyone--some kids will be scared off from encroaching, though, thinking that accessing these pages while a minor and lying that they're an adult on the clickthrough warning will contact the police or something. We know it's not stopping everyone, but at the very least we're doing the most we can to save our asses short of carding everyone, which isn't the most reliable method, either. I feel like the inconvenience of having to enter birthdays or click through warnings may also annoy some kids into leaving, given the instant-dopamine, constant stimuli type internet these days kids are used to (and negatively cognitively affected by, I'm sure...) versus the "waiting 20 minutes for a JPEG to load" internet of old that required patience no matter what.
But for real, being a minor in an adult space can fuck you up, and it's just sad and scary how kids don't even realize this until it's years too late and/or they end up in some real dire situations because of it-- and even then, they probably won't realize the weight of the situation until later (if they're still alive, given the risk of kidnapping, stalking, or committing suicide if it reaches that level, especially if the site or victim and predator are local). How many of us adults look back in retrospect and shudder at what could have happened, or what did? I feel like most adults who had access to the internet as kids, especially in the 90s and 00s, went somewhere they weren't supposed to go, and a lot of us who weren't just lurking had a similar experience of running into adults with bad intentions once they sniffed out the kids being active there. A good amount of us became desensitized to things on shock sites, too, which is for sure not good for us, psychologically.
I mean, hell, thinking about it, teenagers and tweens can't even really access kids-only spaces anymore since a lot of those shut down or are heavily monetized, and of course either adults are just gonna kind of take it over if it gets popular and want the kids (who were there first) gone, or predators are going to specifically enter those spaces to croon at some poor kid how mature and smart they are and they should talk on Discord and that whole process. It's not a new thing, but it definitely continues. It's like as valuable as a resource it is, the internet is gonna fuck kids up no matter what, even if they stay in spaces meant for them, that are supposed to be moderated and protecting them, and a lot of kids have parents who do not care, do not check in on what younger kids are accessing and not noticing any sudden behavioral changes, or will punish them for "letting that happen", and that's utterly terrible.
#vena vents#not art#long post#For those who don't have the option to shorten long posts toggled to on#grooming mention#suicide mention#I feel like if more social media let you lock like twitter does adult spaces would be more secure...but that also brings the reality that#adults will create locked accounts allowing kids and other predators in and nobody else really can see in there. double edged sword
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5 minute read
The first red flag was the “dick pic”. Katie had no idea her 14-year-old son was communicating with strangers in secret on the Mermaids website, until she found several sexually explicit images on his phone.
Her autistic son, who had been teased at school for possibly being gay, had visited the school nurse, who in turn did what so many schools, local authorities and child mental health services across the country now do when presented with a gender-non-conforming child in distress: referred him to Mermaids.
The charity is the country’s best known transgender youth charity. It has basked in the support of celebrities such as Emma Watson and Prince Harry, and won generous grants from the National Lottery and the government.
Unbeknown to Katie, her son had joined the charity’s youth forum, a private online community for 12-19 year-olds who are struggling with gender issues. Parents and carers are not allowed. No proof of ID or age is required, only an email address.
Once signed up, he entered an online world where vulnerable children seeking support with others in similar pain, share their personal details, including phone numbers, email addresses and social media handles, under the apparently approving supervision of Mermaids moderators.
Screenshots seen by The Times also show users openly arranging to move their conversations about experimental drug treatments and medical transition on to even less supervised platforms, such as Discord, with the tacit approval of Mermaids moderators.
It was on Discord, an instant messaging social media platform that was started by gamers and now boasts about 350 million subscribers, that Katie’s son met the strangers who started sending sexual images and asking him to send them photos of himself in sexualised poses in his bedroom in return, which were then found by his mother.
“He felt they were his friends,” said Katie, a teacher. “It was after that I found all the Mermaids emails in his inbox, with the links to all these discussions [on the Mermaids youth forum.]”
The youth forum is promoted on Mermaids’ website as “a wonderful place to find community and allay fears”.
However, critics say it is an “irresponsible ‘Wild West’ free for all’ which allegedly fails the most basic online safety standards.
“Essentially, it is providing a space for children where it’s the blind leading the blind,” said Stephanie Davies-Arai, founder of campaign group Transgender Trend. “These children are not qualified to help other children with emotional and psychological issues. It’s hugely irresponsible.”
Mermaids promotes itself as a leading authority on LGBTQ issues, and is paid to train teachers, police forces, NHS staff and social services on dealing with transgender issues.
This week the Charity Commission confirmed it would be investigating Mermaids’ safeguarding practices, after receiving a number of complaints from parents.
One major red flag was its binder scheme. It emerged in an investigation by The Daily Telegraph earlier this week that the charity is sending potentially dangerous chest binders to children as young as 13 and 14, behind their parents’ backs. These are used by some women and young girls with gender dysphoria to flatten their breasts in a bid to appear more masculine but they carry serious health risks, potentially causing breathing difficulties and damage to healthy breast tissue, ribs and the spine.
Another cause for concern was the youth forum.
Confidential safe spaces can be vital lifelines for children to access support in the charity sector. Childline, for example, allows children to communicate anonymously with each other on message boards, subject to strict controls.
There is a time delay before a child’s post goes live, allowing moderators to screen the content. The house rules set clear parameters for discussion, forbidding any posts that talk, for example about self-harm as a coping method, or suggest that running away might be the right choice. Medical advice is forbidden — “even if something is safe for one person, it might not always be safe for other people” — and no posts are allowed about target-driven goals to change body shape as “it can make people feel competitive and encourage people to diet in unhealthy ways”. Children are not allowed to share any other ways to contact each other off the boards, and, crucially, the message boards are public.
Mermaids conducts its forum very differently.
On its website, Mermaids explains that “we sometimes suggest a young person uses an email address their primary carers have no access to” because some LGBTQ children live in “hostile environments” in which being outed may risk harm or even homelessness.
The charity insists it does not give medical advice. However, much of the discussion revolves around the idea of medical transition as a solution to various problems.
On the forum, which has around 700 members, children share their excitement at the prospect of starting hormone treatment. Introducing themselves, one child said: “I’m 15 and I’ve socially transitioned and I believe I’m getting my first blocker shot on Wednesday. (Fingers crossed!!!)
Mermaids continue to promote puberty blockers as a safe and reversible treatment, despite medical consensus that the long term impact on teenage development remains unknown.
In another post, under the subject heading “Forearm or thigh skin graphs [sic] Phalloplasty”, a young woman who identifies as male asks which part of the body is used to surgically create a penis.
“So I was wondering if anyone knew the difference between taking a skin graph [sic] from your forearm or thigh for phalloplasty? They had heard arm skin was preferred “but since I have permanent self harm scars I don’t think I’ll be able to.”
She is advised by another person in the group: “I really don’t think it will make a difference particularly because it will be 5 - 10 years before you get phallo. (I assume you want T [testosterone] and top surgery before),” adds the respondent, who then recommends some “really good videos on phallo” by a YouTuber.
When an unhappy youngster shares their mobile phone number, Snapchat and Instagram handles, it is left to another user — rather than a moderator — to warn them: “Are you sure it’s a good idea to post your phone number on here? There are over 700 people on this forum.”
In another post, under the topic “lonely”, one young girl posts her full email address and mobile phone number.
Once children sign up to the forum, they receive daily emails, highlighting the discussions taking place under headings such as “advice on unsupportive parents”.
Stephanie Davies-Arai, of the campaign group, Transgender Trend, said: “It’s a bit Lord Of The Flies, isn’t it? You’re letting children create their own little society, where they all support each other in a belief they probably learned online. They don’t have the maturity to recognise the harms of those internet forums.”
Parents expressed particular concern over the moderators’ alleged failure to intervene when users arranged to continue their relationships on other platforms.
In a post dated Jan 2020, a moderator using the name “Izzi J” interjected to advise the youngsters not to draw attention to the Mermaids connection, when they moved their conversation on to the unregulated chat rooms of Discord.
Izzi J wrote: “Great idea for you to have a Discord server together! I have to be a bit of a buzzkill here, you can’t call it Mermaids because it isn’t our server, run by us or affiliated with us. Give it a different name and you’re golden. Have fun :)”
In other posts, the same moderator talks about “the anti trans brigade”.
“Most people I know had no idea about trans issues until I came out and then the good people among them learned and changed how they viewed things. Some people are too lazy and bitter to change and that’s unfortunate.”
Having complained to the Charity Commission in 2020, Katie, not her real name, welcomed the watchdog’s decision to investigate further.
“I am cautiously optimistic that this time the Charity Commission will recognise unequivocally the harm being done to very vulnerable children,” she said.
Another parent, whose child was also referred to Mermaids, said: “Mermaids sees itself as the ‘hero’ or ‘rescuer’ of children, from ‘unaccepting’ parents. Anything that sidelines parents is a red flag.”
He said he was horrified to see the moderator’s response to Discord: “Discord is absolutely full of really grim self-harming and eating disorder servers [chat rooms], so just having vulnerable kids with body issues on discord is potentially a major risk.
“In contrast, Mermaids basically said, ‘what a great idea, off you go into this internet wild west, just you can’t use our name’. There was no concern for these young people’s welfare, they actually endorsed the idea of setting up a private server whose membership and rules would be completely hidden.”
The Times asked Mermaids to clarify the ages, training and background of the moderators who are responsible for supervising the forum, but the charity refused to respond.
In a statement, Mermaids said it was the victim of a “smear campaign.”
It said: “We’re in the midst of a targeted, cynical attack. Security of our platforms and safeguarding of young people is of the utmost importance to us and we continue to regularly review our processes and procedures to make sure our forums remain safe and secure. There are several layers of moderation checks before anyone can gain access to the forum, and anyone found to have fraudulently gained access to our platforms will be reported to the police immediately as a safeguarding concern.
“All of our moderators receive comprehensive training, including safeguarding training, and everyone using the forum has to comply with a strict code of conduct, which prohibits the sharing of personal information, including online identities.”
Mermaids emerged as a support group for young people receiving treatment at the NHS gender identity clinic based at the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation. Trust, which has since been disbanded on the recommendation of an independent review.
Whistleblowers said they were alarmed by the charity’s alleged influence over the clinic’s leadership team, with some clinicians concerned that Mermaids was schooling young people on what to say in the consultation room, in order to access hormone therapies quicker.
Mermaids insists it does not encourage one particular treatment over another.
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Headcanons about VV's ADULTS premades!
⚠️ Since these are my personal headcanons, I don't take responsibility if someone gets offended by the way I interpret the characters or if you don't like certain couples. I don't like perfect life stories, I like DRAMA, not all characters are good people, there are even villains among them!
If you like these let me know if you would also like to know my headcanons on the elders, teenagers and children of Veronaville!
P.S: In the post I refer very often to "historical times". By historical times I mean an AU where the characters live in a very ancient year instead of modern times. In this case I am referring to the year 1300+, because these were the years where the real Romeo & Juliet is set. (For those who say no, the years where the story is set are conflicting in many versions of the story, but here in Italy they say it is 1300+ because the real Romeo and Juliet lived in that period)
To start without do favoritism, let's start with the Summerdreams!
Titania Summerdream
She's a fairy (obvs). Very tall, chaotic, lover of alcohol and umh...something else that Lazlo loves too. Very extroverted, loves to party and watch real life dramas but doesn't like it if happen in her family. For a long time she tried to make a baby with Oberon but never succeeded. After a while she understood that one of the two was sterile, but not knowing human medicine they never knew how to find out which of the two, and that's why they adopted Puck and Bottom.
She loves her adopted children immeasurably, but without wanting to, she often finds herself favoring Puck, making Bottom jealous.
She is the kind of mother who treats you like you are a child even if you are 54 years old, hugs and cuddles you in front of anyone and embarrasses you in front of anyone, expecially in front of your friends.
Being of a mischievous and perverse nature, she often finds herself saying embarrassing things in any situation, often risking killing Puck of embarrassment.
She thinks that anyone the same age as her kids are their boyfriends/girlfriends and torments they by asking if they are. In front of them.
She constantly smiles mischievously, calls everyone "dear" and "darling", and often speaks vaguely, as if doing riddles.
She calls Puck with lots of embarrassing lovely nicknames. She does the same with Bottom.
She often finds herself feeling neglected by Oberon because of his work, but they both love each other a lot.
Not knowing technology, being a fairy, she began to learn about it recently. Her favorite things about that are 10 year old boomer memes and taking boomer photo montages with the sunset behind her.
Often she texts her kids and replies to her own messages thinking they were the ones who responded, thus creating an entire conversation with herself.
Her movements are slow and elegant. But she burp a lot, and loud, when drunk.
She often behaves inappropriately with everyone and everywhere.
Oberon Gossamer
Oberon is also a fairy. Like Titania, he's very tall. He is the serious person of the couple. He loves theatre, writing scenes for films that only exist in his head, the sea and... he has a small, dangerous, attraction to black magic. He is calm and of few words, often speaking only if asked, but being the serious parent of the couple, he is also the one who listens to his kids's problems, try to help them and attends school meetings (Titania is not reliable).
He drinks, but a little, he is not a lover of alcohol like Titania, but he likes it. And...as for the hobby that Titania shares with Lazlo... let's say he likes it but with moderation.
Oberon learned to use technology much faster than Titania and therefore loves do video editing. Once he even tried to be a Youtuber but he had to close the channel because people in the comments told him that he was hot and Titania didn't like that.
Unfortunately he often gets lost in overworking and neglects Titania a bit.
Also, since he learned youth slang he uses it a little too often and inappropriately.
Now let's move on to the Montys!
Bianca Monty
Bianca has an average height. She is neither tall nor short, and has a decisive, stubborn, intelligent personality. She is honest, direct, she always says what she thinks, she doesn't want to please anyone, but she's also very very closed emotionally. She often hides that she has negative emotions and memories created by the family situation and pretends that nothing harms her. Often, this inability to let off her sad thoughts and show weakness makes her appear grumpy or unpleasant, but that is not her intention.
Bianca left home as soon as she turned 18, tired of hearing about the feud with the Capps, but that's no secret. She has a good relationship with her mother, her brother and her nephews, but is on bad terms with her father.
Once she started living on her own, Bianca tried to figure out what she wanted from her independence: did she want to study? Work? start a family?
Having always had a difficult situation in the family, as she had no use as a daughter, that couldn't be the heir, Bianca has always wanted to have a family of her own but...noticing that taking care of her brother Antonio's twins created difficulties for her, discouraged her very much.
"Maybe I'm not ready yet." Bianca thought, and then she decided to concentrate on her studies. She often frequented a library and there she met Kent.
The two immediately became friends, but Kent was afraid to tell Bianca that he was a Capp. But when Bianca found out, their relationship became even closer, because both were against the feud.
At one point, Bianca had a crush on Kent, but when he came out to her as gay, she felt the world fall on her. Disappointment hit her in the chest and when she finally thought she had found her place in the world, her man, the father of her future childrens, her dreams became illusions.
Bianca never confessed to Kent, so she silently accepted it, once again hiding another pain of which she could never talk about.
However, after that discovery, Bianca, appreciating the trust that Kent had felt towards her, finally began to open up and tell him all the bad things that she had always kept inside. Kent was the only one who could listen to her. No one before him had ever been willing to listen to her.
From that even more intimate approach, Bianca also began to become very interested in the LGBT+ community, after listening to Kent talk about it, and sincerely tried to explore herself a little. But noticing... how the crush for Kent doesn't seem to want to pass, leaves little doubt to herself.
Antonio Monty
Antonio, as a man, is short, like his father's height, when Patrizio was young.
Like his sister Bianca, he also moved away from his parents' house, but this happened after his wife Hero's disappearance, following a big verbal fight with his father.
Antonio has always endured his father's hatred for the Capps in silence, but when the feud led to his brother Claudio and his sister-in-law Olivia losing their lives, and the disappearance of his wife Hero, the limit was reached.
Antonio loved Claudio very much, and after his death, his relationship with his father ended to a point of no return, accusing him of being the cause of his death.
He decides to earn a living without his father's monetary support and starts working as a cook (in my headcanons, in modern times he and Claudio had a restaurant, in "historical" times, instead they have an inn).
Antonio loves cooking, food is literally his whole life and he hopes that one day his passion will allow him to leave a good legacy to his twins, so that he doesn't have to worry about leaving them with nothing.
Antonio is a perfect father, he always puts his children as priority over everything and would prefer to starve to feed them. He is sweet, patient, tries to treat both twins the same but often forgets that Benedick is also a child and entrusts him with too many responsibilities such as checking on Beatrice while he is at work or helping him at the restaurant/inn after school.
He is often very strict regarding education and good manners and this is why his children are so polite, but the stress of being a single father often leads him to become excessively angry. The twins know that their father isn't really as angry with them as he seems, but other people might think of him as an exaggerated father.
After Claudio's death, Antonio also tried to be a father to Mercutio and Romeo, loving his nephews very much, but living away from them is a bit problematic, even though he himself had proposed to them to live with him.
In any case, Antonio made a promise to Claudio that he would protect Mercutio and Romeo at all costs, and for this reason he still does not lose sight of them, with one excuse or another.
From time to time Mercutio helps Antonio at the restaurant/inn as a waiter or cook, but Antonio doesn't let Romeo into the kitchen because Romeo doesn't know how to cook and would make everything catch fire.
Hero Monty
Hero is of average height, has a strong, determined, stubborn and courageous personality but unfortunately she comes from a very, very poor family.
She doesn't know how to cook, she is very clumsy in doing everything (but in historical times she would have known how to use a sword even if she is a woman) and Antonio is often the one who has to cook her food and help her around the house, but... it is precisely her defects that have made him fall in love with her despite their very different social statuses.
Patrizio never accepted Hero, he never accepted Antonio marrying a woman who was so poor, but Antonio decided to disobey his father and married her anyway.
After their marriage, despite the tensions in the family, the two were happy, but unfortunately, as often happens, not everything can be perfect, and Hero also ended up falling in love with her husband Antonio's younger brother, Claudio.
The two had a secret relationship even though Claudio was also married to another woman, Olivia, and Hero only decided to tell him to stop when... she discovered she was pregnant.
She never told Claudio about the pregnancy, but pretended that the child was Antonio's. And so Antonio also believed that it was his own.
Hero gave birth to Viola, but full of shame for the daughter who was the result of her love affair wich Claudio, she decided to pretend that the baby had died during childbirth and gave her to the care of a maid.
Antonio was devastated, Viola grew up with that maid and ended up working as a maid herself but without ever knowing who her real parents were.
Hero never spoke to Claudio again for fear that she might fall back into temptation, and after a few years, she had the twins Benedick and Beatrice with Antonio.
Hero loved Antonio very much, and what had happened with Claudio had only been a huge mistake, but somehow, Patrizio had discovered the truth about Viola, perhaps thanks to some maid present at the birth who had acted as a spy.
Patrizio threatened Hero that he would tell Antonio everything if she didn't start respecting and obeying him, doing as he wanted. Hero was very stubborn, she hesitated, she didn't want to lose her pride in the face of a threat and... it was there that she was killed by a man paid by Patrizio himself. And Benedick, peering through the half-open door, saw everything.
Patrizio blamed the Capps for Hero's death and made his entire family believe that they were the ones who killed her. A short time later, Viola mysteriously disappeared.
Claudio Monty
Claudio is on average tall, taller than Antonio but shorter than Olivia. He is the choosen heir after Patrizio and before Romeo.
He is what can be called a good son par excellence. Respectful of his parents, he has never disobeyed his father's orders. He always studied what Patrizio had forced him to study and in his free time he practiced his passion for cooking by working in the restaurant/inn with his brother Antonio.
Claudio and Antonio bought the restaurant together and are both the owners, but in historical times, the two of them bought the inn secretly from Patrizio who did not accept that his sons worked like any other commoners, to the detriment of their high social status.
Claudio doesn't want to disappoint his parents and in front of them he is the perfect son, but when they don't see him, he...shows his slightly more libertine personality. In fact, he loves to appear youthful, and (according to my headcanons) he has Romance as his second aspiration, and for this reason, unfortunately, despite everything, he is not very faithful to Olivia, and this is why he ends up cheating on her with Hero.
Antonio often finds himself scolding him and blaming him for everything, arguing just like any pair of brothers, and unfortunately, that "libertine" side of Claudio's personality was also inherited by his sons: Mercutio and Romeo. Mercutio is in fact very rebellious, while Romeo is studious but a womanizer.
Despite everything, he is a good father, and although he is very serious when he wants, most of the time he is also the most permissive and the one who allows his sons to do stupid things while covering them up from their mother Olivia. He's also the kind of father who gives his sons advice about girls and then wants to know every detail and gossip about the girls they've dated.
Often ending up, however, "punished" together with his sons by his wife herself, with flying slippers.
After the fire at the Capp mansion, he and Olivia were kidnapped by the Capps, locked in a secret room in the mansion and left to starve to death despite Olivia also being heavily pregnant.
Olivia Monty
Olivia is tall, and there's not much I can say about her. Like Claudio she is also quite serious and a good daughter and daughter-in-law, but unlike Claudio, she behaves much more seriously and with maturity.
Coming from a family of doctors, she could have become a doctor, but she abandoned her studies to pursue a more homely life.
In her husband's family she doesn't have much freedom of speech. Patrizio is very tough, he feels like the master of everyone, so, in order not to argue she prefers to remain silent, unlike her sister-in-law Hero who instead responded badly to her father-in-law when she sees things that are not right.
She's a good wife and a good mother, but she is much stricter with her sons unlike Claudio who lets them do a bit of everything, even what they shouldn't.
She doesn't know that Claudio cheated on her with Hero, and that's why Olivia sees Hero as a good friend and is on good terms with her. (In historical times, I imagine that Olivia knew that Claudio had cheated on her with Hero, but that she couldn't say anything because at the time wives couldn't really have the right to speak. Men had the right to have as many women as they wanted, but since Hero was a married woman, she could have been accused of adultery if Olivia had wanted to be vindictive.)
While Mercutio got his rebellious spirit from his father and Romeo his studious, womanizing attitude from his father, both brothers got their vivacity and sloppiness from their mother. Claudio on the other hand is quite clean.
If she had been alive, she would most likely have helped Romeo to be with his Juliette and... she would have accepted Mercutio's relationship with Tybalt (I ship them) as a very open minded person. While, maybe, Claudio would have been a little more reluctant.
Now let's move on to the Capps!
Goneril Capp
Goneril is very tall, first of the four children of Consort and Contessa Capp.
As the first daughter, she has always been convinced that the role of heir would be given to her by right, but the decision of her mother Contesaa to make her younger sister, Cordelia, the future heir of the family, created envy and jealousy between the sisters.
Goneril is serious, ambitious, elegant, clever. She tries to be perfect in everything but that doesn't seem enough to please her parents.
Although she was the first daughter to get married, the fact that her younger sister, Cordelia, had become pregnant before her created great anxiety for her. The anxiety faded when she saw with great satisfaction and malice that her sister's firstborn was a boy, Tybalt, and therefore that he would never enter the line of succession, and the relief was stronger when she gave birth to her firstborn, Miranda, but...even so, her parents didn't seem to change their minds. The heir was and continued to remain Cordelia.
Relations with her family are very tense. She is resentful towards her parents for not choosing her, with her second sister, Regan, the relationship is very "at convenience", sometimes they hate each other, sometimes they love each other, it depends on what the plans are. She can't stand her third sibling, Kent, finding him too strange and disrespectful to the family's honor, and hates her fourth sister Cordelia's entire family, especially Cordelia herself and her nieces (Cordelia's children) Tybalt and Juliette. With Hermia she is indifferent, as Hermia doesn't seem like a threat to the role of heir as she doesn't seem interested
It's no secret, at least to us players, that she often feels paranoid about her husband Albany and believes that Albany only married her for her money. But another of her problems is that although she loves her family very much, she is incapable of expressing affection, due to her harsh personality which leads her children to disobey. Especially with Miranda the relationship is very tense, but losing her trust is not what she wants. Goneril isn't a bad mother, even if her moral isn't exactly good.
Albany Capp
Albany is very tall, but not so much taller than his wife Goneril.
Even though Goneril is paranoid that he only loves her for her money, the truth is that Albany has been madly in love with Goneril since they were teenagers. He immediately saw in her the mother of his future children, and it's also true that he likes money very much, but his love for Goneril is sincere. He's basically a simp for Goneril. He doesn't mind at all that she has control over everything, even his person.
Although his canonical personality indicates that he is a very serious and grumpy person, for my personal headcanon I instead think that he is serious regarding the rigidity that his wife Goneril herself requires for his family (in short, he obeys her like a dog) and for the grumpiness...he just doesn't really hate anyone, but growls at people his wife doesn't like.
Albany actually has no interest in the feud, to tell the truth he doesn't even know why it started and often tries not to make enemies of any member of his wife's family.
He loves his children madly and is able to demonstrate it very well, unlike his wife. Being a father has always been his greatest desire! He often finds himself crying alone at the thought that sooner or later all his daughters will get married and leave home and this is why he always walks with an enormous handkerchief in one pocket, ready in case he feels like crying thinking about it.
Although he has a goofy face and seems calm, he would be capable of beating you very badly if you dared to harm his children.
But isn't the same for Goneril. Goneril is capable of defending herself, in truth Albany is a little afraid of his wife.
Regan Capp
Regan is tall, but shorter than her big sister Goneril. Second of the four children of Consort and Contessa Capp, she also aspires to the role of heir but like Goneril she found herself usurped first by her younger sister Cordelia and then by her niece Juliette.
Ambitious, clever and stubborn, she too would do anything to get that role (in historic years she would even have tried to kill the competition by poisoning the food, drinks or who knows what else!) but she has two big problems: she is much more emotional, more impulsive than her older sister Goneril, who is instead more thoughtful, cold-blooded, and...has a great inferiority complex due to the fact that she is the the only one of the sisters not to have children yet.
She doesn't even know if she wants a child that much, but the fact that after many years she still hasn't been able to have one worries her enough.
The marriage to her husband Cornwall is an arranged marriage, a marriage of convenience. The two never liked each other but...they're trying to like each other now.
The relationships with her family are very similar to those of Goneril, but with the difference that Regan feels much more resentment towards Cordelia and that... she doesn't know how to feel towards her brother Kent. She is sorry that he doesn't have a family of his own, that he is lonely, but at the same time he is... so intrusive into her married life with Cornwall that she can't stand this situation so much anymore.
Cornwall Capp
Cornwall is on average tall but shorter (slightly) than Regan.
He is greedy, has a bad temper and his world revolves solely around money. He married Regan for social convenience but despite seeing her efforts to try to be a couple in love he can't really like her. He pretends to like her.
He is envious, he is envious that a woman has so much more power and control over her life than he does. Envious because he doesn't even have a job.
And, he also hate very much his brother in law. Not only because he is intrusive and doesn't want him around, but also because... let's say I have always seen Cornwall as a very homophobic person? Male chauvinistic and homophobic, a perfect picture! ✨👌🏻 (I apologize to Cornwall fans (do they exist?) and to those who really like the Regan-Cornwall couple, I know they love each other very much in game but this is my personal headcanon, I ask for forgiveness 🥺)
Although it was clear to him from the beginning that in the Capp family it was the women who were in charge and had the power, Cornwall NEVER accepted this. For this reason he argued very often with Regan, ending in mutual agreement that they would both have the same right of ""command"" at home.
Kent Capp
Kent is VERY TALL, taller than his father Consort and his sisters. As a man, his role in a matriarchal family has always been very complicated and for this reason he has always been isolated from many things.
He is the favorite uncle of his nephews because he is the only one in the family to bring a bit of joy and madness among many long faces, his personality is both chaotic and very calm and lovely depends the situation, but both for this and for his hatred for the feud, he is called the black sheep of the family.
He misses his younger sister Cordelia very much, and has a lot of resentment against Patrizio Monty for it, but that doesn't mean he has to hate all the Montys for just one bad apple. Right?
Kent loves reading and studying and it's precisely his passion for studying, his ambition to become a teacher, that made him meet his now best friend Bianca Monty, in that library. The first person he came out to about his homosexuality.
His relationship with his family is very tense. He would like to remain on good terms with everyone, but it's difficult when his father doesn't know how to approach him without arguing over their very different views on the feud. Consort loves him but... it's just complicated, also because he knows that Kent is gay, but he doesn't know how to deal with him about it.
Goneril snubs him, so Albany does, Regan isn't sure how to feel, and Cornwall hates him with all his heart.
As I said, his nephews love him. When they were little, he babysat each of them at least once, but the children he babysat most frequently were Tybalt, Miranda, Juliette, and Hermia. Now he loves to babysit little Ariel (and that's why Ariel is bisexual, he spends too much time with uncle Kent)
For a short time, Kent helped Tybalt, Juliette, Miranda and Hermia study, but as I mentioned in anothet post, Tybalt was very stubborn, hard to understand the things he studied and the stress of tutoring him led Kent to lose all his hair (partly I think this is also the cause of the early hair loss of Caliban, Tybalt's father).
Among all his nephews, there is one in particular with whom he has a very particular relationship: Tybalt.
Tybalt initially hated his uncle Kent. He loved him as a child, but started to hate him after the fire, when he learned that his uncle was not against the Montys despite what they had done to their family. The two later became closer when Kent realized that there was something between Tybalt and Mercutio that was apparently not the hatred shown. He helped Tybalt understand why he felt so strange, opening him up to the possibility of thinking that perhaps he was homosexual and that he actually liked Mercutio.
Obviously Tybalt denied everything and reacted angrily and embarassed like a perfect tsundere but from that moment... it also gave him a lot to think about.
Kent realized he was gay when he lived in Roaring Heights. As a teenager he fell in love with a boy but their love story ended in fear that his family might find out. He only had the courage to come out to his family as an adult, returning to Veronaville.
In historical years, however, he hides it, for obvious reasons.
Cordelia Capp
Cordelia is short, the shortest among her tree big siblings. She is sweet, naive and couldn't stand the feud, she would have wanted peace instead of seeing all that hatred between the two families. Having been chosen as heir by her mother herself, this brought upon her the hatred of her sisters and to lose their affection for a horrible question of power.
She had a wonderful relationship with her parents and her older brother Kent, but unfortunately she never managed to regain the affection of her sisters Goneril and Regan, no matter how hard she tried.
Cordelia was...even quite friendly with Olivia Monty when Tybalt and Mercutio were children, but the feud then prohibited them from seeing each other.
Cordelia never wanted to use her authority as the future heir, she had never taken a stand on anything, she was a bit cowardly in some ways. She rather let her husband Caliban speak for her, let him manage everything alone, but she couldn't stand it when he scolded Tybalt without sufficient reason to make her son deserve that reproach.
Cordelia loved art, music, she played the piano, and she taught Tybalt to play that. She often lost herself thinking about things that people thought were banal, that they never stopped to observe because certain things had always existed: she loved the sea, she loved the night sky, its stars. She loved the color white, because it was purity, calm, tranquility, a blank canvas to paint on.
She was very young when she had Tybalt, but despite her young age she was a wonderful mother to her three children and wife to her husband.
And it was until the end. Because that night, when the fire had taken her husband's life, she could have easily escaped, there was time. But she didn't. Instead she took Juliette and Hermia and with her last strength she left them in the arms of their older brother Tybalt, and then returned to her husband's side, deprived of strength and oxygen, dying with him but reassured by seeing all three his children run out of that house. Away from the fire. But close to the man she loved.
Caliban Capp
Caliban is tall, but not taller than any Capp, in fact his son Tybalt, now that he has grown up, is much taller than him, having taken after his maternal grandfather Consort.
Caliban literally has two faces, and one of them is false. (And corrupted *badumtss*}
Lover of money, good at business, he immediately persuaded his father-in-law, obtaining his trust and thus the hand of his daughter, Cordelia. Cordelia was the heir, she studied to understand how business was managed, but the truth was that it was Caliban who helped his in-laws manage business. Cordelia had never lifted a finger, she didn't even know how things were going.
He comes from a... particular family. In fact, Caliban is actually a sorcerer and has often used his magic to manipulate things in the family to his liking.
As I have already said, Caliban is liked by Consort for his good business skills, but all his brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law can't stand him, they are envious of the flattery that Consort gives him. Cordelia loved him a lot, and he...he...who know. He was once jealous, thinking that Claudio had tried to charm Cordelia.
Juliette loved him, Hermia was too young to express herself and Tybalt...he had a mixed relationship with his father. Because Caliban was gentle with his daughters, but harsh and more authoritative with Tybalt. Tybalt never dared to answer him badly or disobey him, however, but he often ended up getting so nervous that he ran away nervously so as not to insult him. Tybalt loved his mother far more than his father.
Caliban showed himself as a gentleman always ready to help everyone, but his nature was much more evil, much more manipulative than... anyone could have ever imagined. And perhaps, if he hadn't died in the flames, this would have been discovered sooner or later. Perhaps, sooner or later his mask would finally fall, showing the monster he really was.
He had so many secrets.
#veronaville#titania summerdream#oberon gossamer#bianca monty#antonio monty#claudio monty#hero monty#olivia monty#goneril capp#albany capp#regan capp#cornwall capp#kent capp#cordelia capp#caliban capp#dystopia headcanons#TitaniaHC#OberonHC#BiancaHC#AntonioHC#ClaudioHC#HeroHC#OliviaHC#GonerilHC#AlbanyHC#ReganHC#CornwallHC#KentHC#CordeliaHC#CalibanHC
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Twisted Wonderland the Novel: Yuuya's Secret
After their violent first meeting with Ace, Grim plots his revenge while the ghosts cheer him on him, forcing Yuuya to reveal something that he has been trying to avoid all day. And it leads to a revelation.
“‘You give him a good talking-to when the time comes. It is fine that you don’t have magic—you have fists.’
‘Yeah, that’s right! Next time I see that Ace jerk, I’m gonna beat him to a pulp!’
‘That’s the spirit! You can take him!’
‘I can’t,’ Yuuya mutters softly, thought it is unlikely that Grim can hear him in his excitement.
‘I can’t do it.’
Noticing the expression upon Yuuya’s face more so than what he’s said, the group of ghosts and Grim exchange doubtful looks.
‘Hey. Wimp. I know you’re not thinkin’ of givin’ up before you even try.’
‘I told you I won’t do it! I said so today—I’ve never been in a fight. Never, even once in my whole life.’
‘Never once…are you serious!?’
Grim has gone slack-jawed in disbelief, but for Yuuya it is far more unbelievable that Grim has repeatedly gotten them into so much trouble since yesterday.
Yuuya cannot handle confrontation. Just the thought is terrifying, nerve-wracking—unbearable. It pains him so deeply that it may be more complex than simple dislike, and closer to something like an aversion.
Is there anyone who likes fighting? To enjoy being in danger, enjoy all your energy being spent—it does not sound sane.
Ace, Grim, and the people who had gathered to cheer the fight on had all shared in such enthusiasm—it had seemed like a bad joke to Yuuya.
‘Now wait a moment, there is no way that you have never even argued even once. How could you have even managed such a thing?’ The ghosts look just as surprised as Grim.
‘It’s a part of growing up. Surely you have disagreed with friends once or twice.’
‘That’s right—youth is a grand thing. The impassioned clashes between friends that deepen the bonds they share! It must have been decades ago, for us.’
‘No, I…I never really had any friends.'
‘…no friends?’
‘Well, if you make friends—there’s a risk that you’ll argue one day.'
The deeper your bond with someone, the more likely you are to clash. In order to avoid potential differences in opinion, it is best to uphold a moderate distance from everyone. With this in mind, Yuuya has always refused to interact with those around him.
That is the degree to which he simply cannot handle the thought of getting into trouble. That is why he has made no friends in high school—or ever before.
‘Sounds like you’re putting the cart before the horse there, are you not?’
‘It’s not that I actually want friends anyway—all I want is to not get into fights.’
The ghosts exchange glances, murmuring amongst themselves—‘Unbelievable’, ‘And he’s so young’—but Yuuya pays no heed.
He has never really had hobbies, or even anything that he’s wanted to do. Aspirations cause friction. If something becomes non-negotiable, he may clash with others and have to fight to protect it one day.
‘I can’t even stand to look at fights. I get so nervous, so scared…’
He had only been able to scare off the ghosts the night before because Grim had been there. Grim had been the one to confront them—Yuuya wasn’t strong enough.
And he knows it.
Everything working out the day before had been mere happenstance. It had been pure luck. Obviously, the best thing would have been to not fight at all.
‘So Grim—please. Don’t cause trouble anymore. Even just watching you is taking years off my life.’
‘Haah? What’re you even talkin’ about? This wimp! This softy!’
‘I’m normal! No one actually likes to fight! You get into arguments way too fast, Grim.’
‘Normal~? That’s why you get all mocked and teased. You gotta get your act together.’
‘Sure, easy for you to say, but I’ve always been like this…’
‘Hmm,’ the ghosts give the pair a curious look. ‘But when you’re with Grim, you talk like the two of you are friends already.’
Yuuya gives them a startled look.
It’s true—he feels more relaxed speaking with Grim than he ever has with anyone else. This is his first time talking this comfortably with someone who isn’t a family member."
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The EPA announced three additional carcinogenic chemicals have been detected in the Ohio trail derailment.
Vinyl chloride: a colorless gas that is used to make polyvinyl chloride (PVC) plastics and is highly flammable and decomposes to make toxic fumes. According to the National Library of Medicine, it is also carcinogenic and can cause other health issues.
Butyl acrylate: a clear liquid that is used for making paints, sealants and adhesives. It is flammable and can cause skin, eye and respiratory irritation.
Ethylhexyl acrylate: a colorless liquid used to make paints and plastics. It can cause skin and respiratory irritation and, under moderate heat, can produce hazardous vapor.
Ethylene glycol monobutyl: a colorless liquid used as a solvent for paint and inks, as well as some dry cleaning solutions. It is classed as acutely toxic, able to cause serious or permanent injury, and highly flammable. Vapors can irritate the eyes and nose, and ingestion can cause headaches and vomiting.
Vinyl chloride turns into hydrogen chloride when burned (which is what Norfolk did). When hydrogen chloride mixes with water (think the upper atmosphere), it turns into hydrochloric acid. This was the primary chemical in this spill.
The chemicals have, at this point, on February 13th, 2023, reached the Ohio River, which then flows into the Mississippi. Wildlife everywhere in Ohio and Pennsylvania are dying, and people are being told that it's okay to go home.
This tragedy happened because Norfolk Southern Railway has been cutting operation costs to a dangerous level. This is one of the things, in addition to NO SICK LEAVE for rail workers, that was being brought up when the rail unions were threatening to strike before Joe Blow busted it.
The Carmen, who have their own union and are responsible for safety checks, have had their inspection times reduced from the industry standard of three minutes per car to 90 seconds. Going over that time risks termination.
There was another derailment on December 2022 ALSO in East Ohio and ALSO with Norfolk Southern Railway, only that was just candle wax. 7 weeks later and this happens.
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Warning: weight loss mention (no in depth discussion about feelings yet)
So. Those of you who keep up to date with my personal posts will know that on Monday I saw a new hepatologist to discuss my many (non-cancerous) liver tumors and what to do about them.
The answers I got were more or less what I expected. Thankfully, I don't need any scary procedures any time soon, and possibly won't ever need surgery, which would be fantastic. As I suspected, I'm not a good candidate for resection anyway. Since I'm largely asymptomatic we don't need to look into something like trans arterial embolization right now, let alone transplant. Yay! Also, they said I can safely eat moderate amounts of soy, which is great, because I like soy based foods. That's the good news.
There were a few pieces of bad news. The first was that while I knew I couldn't be on estrogen based birth control, they said it wouldn't be safe for me to risk progesterone based birth control either. I have to stay off entirely. So that kind of sucks, I hate just getting my period naturally every month, the pmdd symptoms are so much worse that way. But I'll take horrible cramps and mental health struggles over tumor growth.
And speaking of mental health struggles being preferable to tumor growth, the other thing that was made very clear to me was that I absolutely must lose weight. Estrogen production increases with large amounts of fatty tissue, and the doctor said that's the main reason these tumors are worsened by weight gain. She thinks that the amount of tumor growth they found was within the margin of error, so it's possible it didn't grow, but if it did grow it's likely because I gained some weight in the past year. (They're going to look at all my MRIs during rounds next week with a radiologist to see if it really grew or not). It was made very clear to me that the only way to get them to shrink is to lose weight, and that if I don't or if I gain weight I'm at serious risk of them growing.
So. Weight loss. Apparently not super optional. I mean, I know I have bodily autonomy, I could decide not to lost weight technically, but yeah the consequences here are serious and not worth messing around with. Which means for the first time since I was an anorexic teenager I will be trying to lose weight.
I have...a lot of conflicting feelings about that, but this post is already long and I feel like those feelings should go in their own post so I can adequately explain and trigger warn. So. I'll stop here for now.
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