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#and now im 24
claratyler · 4 months
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Do you ever think about how pets only live like 12-17 years, which is NOTHING, and somehow you're lucky enough to coincide and share those ≈15 years with your very own specific kitty or doggy? How wonderful is that. Out of the entire history of time, they're only here for a few years, and we have the honor to be there with them
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beescake · 4 months
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im a sollux kinnie and ur art is great. like a delicious meal. 1 million courses. my compliments to the chef.
AOGHHH TYSM I REALLY APPRECIATE IT
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in gratitude i present a little guy doing setup for the first time 🐝
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inkskinned · 8 months
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we heard that you were very disappointed in us both as a generation and specifically as a generation of women (emphasis yours), how we had let ourselves go and now we were slutty and ill-tempered and holding onto notions of feminism like "having a savings account" and "equality."
we were very sorry about it, we didn't realize. it is very hard for you, in your life, because your entire definition was centered around the word providing, and that's a really vague and undulating word. it is hard to be a provider. for your purposes, the word provider here can be defined as "having a job", although it sometimes also extends to "doing yard work", "grilling on occasion," and "knowing basic car anatomy."
we had to do some reading but we divided it out. do not worry. high-value women will fill in the rest of the gaps of your life - all those silly feminine things like doing the dishes. we didn't realize we had asked too much when we asked you to pick up after yourself. we did not realize you were rendered small and scared and crying about the possibility of doing the laundry. here is a joke to lighten the sentiment: a man that listens when you talk to him.
we heard about how we had fallen from glory and it sickened us and made us very, very sad. lindsey had to cut all her hair off and tara threw up. we lit one million candles and we are going to have a vigil about it tonight. all of the people in this world that you do not approve of are going to be there and we will all be in mourning colors because we have lost your respect which is of course the only thing that any of us were looking for.
we searched around our bedrooms and our closets and for some of us it took a while but we all found the pricetag that we were originally born with, the one that gave our listing offer, the one that smells like rot and pine needles. we were horrified because many of us had taken deductions and hadn't realized it. i had scraped my knees and decided to be a lesbian so they had to take my voicebox out so i could never call home again. janice had been with too many people overall so we had to put her into the big squisher that will hopefully collapse her walls so that when you're with her, you'll feel so big and powerful. it will be like you're conquering something instead of being close with someone.
we are all going to the funeral of feminism and we will tear at our bodies and fall over ourselves. we will invite you onstage for a live recording of your podcast about the occasional minor inconvenience of self-reflection. you will talk about how we have targeted you and made you feel the sweat slick down your back, and we will teach you basic self-defense out of solidarity.
do not worry, we are seeing to all the outliers. taylor asked to be taken seriously so we have shipped her off to prison. laura asked you to accept her femininity regardless of her presentation. you will be happy to hear all women are now and forever going to have to be small and thin and pretty and white and ablebodied and quiet and unassuming and ladylike, which is different than how society has previously told us to act.
i am going to have to shave off my jawline, which is a little masculine, and they are going to have to reshape my hands, which are very square and thick - all the work i've done with them has made their veins stand out, so we're just going to have to exsanguinate me. i am horrified to have been out in public like this.
we are going to sit around the campfire and we will talk about being weird little girls that made potions in pink teacups. we will talk about the first time we made a difference. we will talk about the private lives of crickets, and then, at the stroke of three in the morning (the witching hour, obviously) - we will all promptly shut up.
and this will be your beautiful world. this silence that spans every corner of every street and every zoom meeting and every alley. i do not think you'll notice at first - it will be the same as every television show and movie and book. we will all just simply sit there in our doll dresses and smile blithely at your advances and none of us will do you the dishonor of answering and none of us will appear to be in distress and none of us will nag you or make a fuss or get hysterical about it. it will just be quiet, and you will say finally, some peace for once! and we will smell of smoke and our teeth will be white and the next day will come.
tonight we are going to bury the last little bits of our humanity. you are not invited. it is going to be ugly.
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ikeasharksss · 1 year
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hey im curious
feel free to rb & explain your answer in the tags!
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fjordline · 10 months
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Unicronian realness
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bonchobrick · 11 months
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tw: slight suicidal actions (but not really the batfam are wildly clueless to the actual context to danny's bullshit hes not suicidal--in this fic--he's dead get it RIGHT brucie)
Au where Batfam are entirely convinced that the new vigilante in Gotham, danny, has time travel powers because he can vanish away from their senses completely
This becomes a problem however when 
Bruce searches for him because wants to save Jason. Danny can save Jason not in the--im a time traveler and i can bring him or you back from or to the past--but in the, I’m a ghost king and have domain over the dead haha
Batfam become really concerned watching Phantom fight because “if he has time travel powers why doesn’t he avoid getting hit every time he can” and get worried phantom is purposefully letting himself get hurt
Danny in all honesty is just vibin the entire time while the batfam is going crazy at every sliver of info they get about danny because like
okay hes a time traveler thats established they got over that
This guy whos somehow been able to stop and rehabilitate rouges (ghosts) in his town is 15??
he may be the kindest most self destructive kid they've ever met like who immediately agrees to help people who were trying to capture and interogate him because he 'thinks we are better than the last billionaire who did this' what the FUCK
Oh yeah and they find out as a bonus in the end that his normal unpowered form he is a teen with black hair and blue eyes (bruce no no dont do it dont--)
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Bruce is losing his mind
Okay so at the start of this there’s an unknown vigilante (danny) that Batman tends to bump into. Except Batman isn’t sure what he is.
Every time they run into each other Batman can tell there should just be a person beside him but before he gets a glimpse and opens his eyes to empty fresh air.
A vigilante that can vanish before their very eyes?
What do the bats think about this?
They think this vigilante can control time and is doing that to sneak out of their gaze.
Now here’s where the funny part comes in
Bruce goes on a wild hunt to search for the vigilante with a plan. To make them turn back time so that he can save his son.
The problem with this?
Danny is not a time traveler most days–scratch that he's not one at all. He can save his son Jason though, in fact he wants to, it’s just he needs to figure out a way to do this whilst not blowing his cover that he is the goddamn ghost king.
So he pretends that he does have time powers and that he just… uh… needs a minute to figure them out… yeah that!
Cue Batfam getting progressively more worried about Danny because ‘if he could turn back time—why doesn’t he avoid those hits?’
They all kinda think Danny is like purposefully hurting himself so now Danny is forced to eat breakfast with them and sleep at their manor.  I mean he’s confused at why they always look so worried about something but he’ll make sure Batman’s son gets home soon! Plus the rich people temporary-living-situation without all the ‘I want to adopt you’ billionaire bullshit is pretty sweet!!
(somewhere in the ghost zone jason is tearing up laughing at the batfam as they struggle to not burst into flames trying to figure out danny-- like for christs sake they think the ghost king is an american doctor who and are trying to get him to spill where his tardis is)
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harbingersecho · 1 month
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parasitism tonite? 👀
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teamoakills · 1 year
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the thespian urge to have a rival love story (and it failing immediately)
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infinizero · 17 days
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Ok so
There is this trope about ghosts not reaching maturity until they've been ghosts for several centuries
There is ALSO the trope that ghosts fight as a sort of way to communicate
With the power of these two tropes combined-- I give you this strange headcanon:
Ghosts become mature adult ghosts after 500 years.
Danny and his usual troublemakers are all in the same "daycare".
He's just the youngest + most unique ghost so they like playing around with him the most. In other words, it's the ghost version of older siblings ordering their younger siblings around
As far as ghosts go,
There are blobs, ghost animals, shades (those are ghosts as we know it) and ghosts (aka Infinite Realms Beings) etc etc
The blobs and etc are, well, blobs and etc
But ghosts need a while to fully grow up and be considered adult
And so, if these ghosts are children, they need guardians or caretakers at the daycare right?
Correct
Baby ghosts are under the care of the nearest authority (Ancient or Leader or etc etc)
Except baby ghosts usually stay near where they were born and Danny and Co just so happen to be near Pariah Dark
Pariah Dark is asleep
But Fright Knight is there!
Except Fright Knight is also sealed
And it's one thing to wake up the ultra powerful megalomaniac tyrant kinda parent figure but not really you're supposed to have and another to drag your oldest adult sibling out of their room to touch grass
In other words, the surrounding authorities just went eh the babies can contact fright Knight if anything happens
But then Danny defeats Pariah and inherits his authority
So he technically becomes the caretaker of baby ghosts in the area while being the youngest baby ghost himself
Hence the other ancients visiting and *playing* with him to see if it's ok to leave the babies with this other baby
And since they're ghosts who don't have human guidelines or morals, decide that since he's that strong it should be fine to leave it alone
Besides he has Fright Knight! Good 'ol Frighty will definitely help out this new baby kid ghost with doing everything!
Meanwhile, Fright Knight waiting for Danny to come claim the crown and ring: ...
Cue Danny's rogues coming up to him to show him shit they accomplished
Youngblood : Phantom look at this cool baking soda volcano that spews out real lava!!
Danny: It does WHAT
Youngblood: Look!
Danny: NO
Ember: Hey Babybop wanna listen to the new song I wrote? It compels humans to start cults based on my name!
Danny: Ember, no
Ember: I think you mean Ember YES
Skulker: Ghost boy I have skinned an alien and brought you a pelt turned into a coat
Danny: ...you did WHAt
Skulker: It is nearing winter time and one must always be ready for winter time
Danny, having an existential meltdown after seeing his parents and Vlad get it on together: Desiree what the actual fuck??? Did you do????
Desiree: I merely fulfilled a wish
Johnny: Hey Phantom look we got matching tattoos to celebrate our anniversary!
Kitty: Wait what did you just say?
Johnny: uh, we got tattoos for our anniversary?
Kitty: ...our anniversary is in TWO MONTHS. THAT was for my DEATHDAY.
Johnny: ...oh shit
Danny, about to soup them both: Man, get good
Lunch Lady: Phantom have you eaten your proteins today?!
Danny: uh... Yeah?
Lunch Lady, already throwing meat at him: EAT MORE
Danny:
Box ghost: WITNESS! THE GREAT BOX MECHA!
Danny: oh come on seriously
And on the other hand,
Walker, dumping ten piles of paper in Danny's room: Phantom, here are the latest forms that need revisions
Spectra: What do you MEAN you're not allowing me to open a beauty salon in order to dig into other girls' insecurities and maintain my own beauty?! That's why it's called a beauty salon!!
Cujo and Wulf who are both the best boys and favorites, with smug faces:
Fright Knight still waiting for Danny to accept the ring and crown:
Plasmius: What the heck is this weird feeling my ghost side keeps making me feel??
Plasmius: is it... Is there perhaps a ghostly way I can adopt the little badger??
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enananhearts · 7 months
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HATSUNE FUCKING MIKU?????
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firbolgfriend · 8 months
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getting back into mlp by making a pony based off the unreleased episode 'Number Fish Fan', where discord finds out he has a very dedicated fan.
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deermook · 4 months
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Shhh lieutenant the voices are talking now
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kaytub · 2 months
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HAPPY 37 DAY!! MY FAVOURITE NUMBER AND MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS
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dervampireprince · 9 months
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hey guys psst hey guys psst hey guys psst hey guys psst
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and yes it's a public one, not a patreon exclusive. it'll be posted either tomorrow if i get the art done in time or if not then it'll be the wednesday after. but i'm going to try my best to get the art done so it's up tomorrow.
(also the gender tags don't reflect the genitalia of the listener, it just changes the pet names to 'good boy' or 'good girl' or neither. no specific genitals mentioned on any of them. we t4trans-inclusive content over here.)
EDIT: it's done! check the most recent posts on my blog or do a lil search on my blog for astarion or look my youtube! there's also a direct link in the reblogs and replies to this post!
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randomminty · 10 months
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He’s telling everyone increasingly horrifying bug facts
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whaliiwatching · 9 months
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you want it? come and get it
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