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#and not even in a 'oh he's morally gray' way. you just think that because your reading comprehension is bad. hope it gets better!
tofixtheshadows · 1 month
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People who read Dungeon Meshi tend think they're so smart for reading it, because Dungeon Meshi is a smart manga, and they Understand Its Themes and its symbolism, but the way the majority of you talk about Kabru is like. Oh, I see. The narrative held your hand through a nuanced topic and you still didn't get it. </3 Somehow it's really hard when it isn't a white character. ):
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inhonoredglory · 9 months
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Aziraphale’s Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheen’s Morality
Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.
I’ve had time to process Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphale’s character. I think what happened was also Aziraphale’s own conscious choice––as a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.
Since November 2022 I’ve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,
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We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. It’s sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and “oh it’s nice.” And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the light…. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think that’s a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.
I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think that’s what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphale’s story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed that––truly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.
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Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didn’t understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)
That’s why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.
Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.
But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.
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And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.
I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didn’t, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)
But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasn’t influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasn’t a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.
Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something he’s very good at it).
Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heaven’s armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.
(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)
At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didn’t have God’s ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He can’t take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. That’s why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Job’s children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldn’t get through to God, and he’s not going through that again.
“We could make a difference.” We could save everyone.
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Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing good––and having to “look the dark in the face to be truly good.” That’s what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. That’s what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lion’s Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.
Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphale’s change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphale’s courage.
But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they don’t need Heaven. And he’s right. Aziraphale knows he’s right.
Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just don’t know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)
Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.
Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, that’s exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. “You’re exactly is different from my exactly.”
____
In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.
Sheen: “I felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] – which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.” In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.
Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.
And that’s why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldn’t understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.
And he’s still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.
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ennas-aesthetic · 9 months
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If we DO ever get a Good Omens season 3 (and fingers crossed we will) then using the Second Coming as the narrative device to facilitate the final culmination of Good Omens' ideology and message is brilliant, actually.
Because the Second Coming IS NOT another Adam situation. And, contrary to the misconceptions I've seen, It IS NOT about Jesus being born again as a baby, etc, etc.
THE SECOND COMING. QUITE LITERALLY refers to THE LAST JUDGMENT.
As in. The SAME Last Judgment Michelangelo painted on the walls of the Sistine Chapel. As in - THE JUDGMENT of the Living and the Dead. THE LAST, FINAL, ETERNAL JUDGMENT.
It's the WHOLE thing Armageddon was leading towards. Book of Revelation speedrun: the world ends, everyone dies, and then they get resurrected again to be judged by JESUS himself. He will flick through the Book of Life (WINK WINK WINK DO YOU SEE HOW LOUDLY I'M WINKING AT YOU???), and if your name is there he will go "oh nice you deserve eternal paradise! :D" and if your name is ERASED from the Book of Life he will go "oh no, sorry, you go to the lake of fire for eternity now D:" (except apparently in Good Omens lore it'd just DOOM YOU TO NON-EXISTENCE FOREVER???)
And if you THINK about it, The Last Judgment is the ultimate manifestation of moral absolutism. No shades of gray, no chances. Just BLACK, and WHITE. Never mind that you're like Wee Morag and Elspeth, who are forced to do "bad" things because of circumstances. It's either you pass Judgment Day, or you burn (or disappear forever.) And the way THINGS are going in the Good Omens universe? I don't think there's ANYONE "good" enough to be "saved." Not Crowley, not Aziraphale. Hell, not even the Archangels themselves.
So it provides a PERFECT opportunity for Aziraphale and Crowley to UPEND that SYSTEM entirely.
I think that's what Crowley and Aziraphale would do in s3: establish a new kind of system in which angels and demons have free will to determine the right (or wrong) choice.
Giving them the APPLE, so to speak.
And then they'll go off to retire in a cottage, together at last.
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moon7jay · 2 months
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TEMPTATION (p.js)
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best friend!jay x fem!reader
Warnings : non consensual, dubious consent, manipulation, smut, loads of masturbation, jay is a freak, anal sex, obsessive behavior, mentions of violence, Morally gray plot and characters obviously, read at your own risk. Not proofread, there might be some errors.
Wc : 8.6k
a/n : reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated so much, please, please don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts, it makes my entire day<3
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Candid.
You were too candid for your own good.
Jay doesn't remember when it started to get this bad. you have always been someone who spoke their mind, but he never expected to be witnessing it first hand, and definitely not like this.
As he watches you deep throat the popsicle, your glossy lips wrapped around it so deliciously,the lustrous sheen reminiscent of morning dew on rose petals; he thinks he's in one of his wet dreams. The gloss you're wearing today is not the same as yesterday; they're both shades of dark red but Jay can tell the difference. How? Don't ask him. It's not like he spent most of his time staring at your lips or anything. He isn’t obsessive (he is). He most definitely doesn't look up the same glosses you wear online, or order them to use them for some ulterior motives. so yeah, don’t ask him why or how he can tell what the raspberry red on your lips tastes like.
Your twinkling eyes meet his, the ice pop coming out of your mouth with a loud squelch, and you smile.
"What do you think?" you ask, and Jay doesn't remember what you're asking, or what you were talking about before that pink popsicle came into the picture.
He stares at you dumbly, eyes transfixed on the allure of your saliva coated lips. Oh, he so badly wants to-
"Jay, are you even listening?" your voice interrupts the not so decent direction his thoughts were headed in.
"Huh?"
"I'm asking you, what do you think about my throat game?" your eyes shine, and Jay gulps.
This. This is exactly what he's been dealing with for the past few months.
You both have been best friends since sophomore year, and he understands that as people get closer, they start sharing all types of thoughts and secrets. Even the most intimate and inappropriate ones. Right?
Wrong.
Because jay doesn't remember sexual questions and indecency being a bonding activity among best friends. Sometimes he wonders, do you even consider him a man? Because what man is immune to these sinful thoughts, no matter how hard he tries? Were you really that unaware of the impact your words have on him or did you do it on purpose?
Jay just wasn't mentally prepared for this phase of your friendship. He blames it on his sex crazed brain.
"It-it's good" he mutters, praying that you don't notice the shakiness in his voice. or the reddening of his ears. or the sweat trickling down his neck. or the way he keeps the cushion tightly situated on his lap. Oh fuck it, there's no way you don't notice.
You giggle. You giggle, and the sound goes straight to his chubbing up cock.
"thought so, I've been practicing you know? Heeseung is so lucky, I don't even have a gag reflex" you excitedly brag about your sexual prowess, and Jay can't feel his legs. In fact, all his focus is zeroed in on one place, just like the blood rushing to his dick.
His fists clench at the familiar name and he grits his teeth to stop the throbbing in his jaw.
If Jay's life was a coming of age comedy, you were definitely the main character, and heeseung; even thinking of his name leaves a bad taste in jongseong's mouth, would be your potential love interest. Matter of fact, he seemed to be everyone's love interest.
Jay tho? He wasn't even a supporting character. You just kept him around.
You had pranced into his life in sophomore year, all wide smiles and bright eyes. When he had moved away from his home for college, he had accepted the fact that he would probably spend all of his college life alone.
Because, one, jongseong was awkward. And two, jongseong was awkward.
His awkwardness stemmed from having two friends for most of his life; they were the only two people he could talk to like a normal human being. So, when he left them behind, he left his ability to make proper conversations with them.
But you didn't need him to talk. Nope. You did all the talking for him.
He'd been minding his business, cramming up the notes for upcoming end sem exams , when the chair beside him had been pulled out and you had plopped on it in all your glory. He remembers that you had smelled like ripe cherries, and it didn't take long for jeongseong to get addicted to that fragrance.
Extrovert adopting an introvert, was the basic description of your friendship with him.
But he doesn't know where his obsession with you fits in the dynamic, doesn't know where his need to inject you in his veins stems from.
"Y-yeah, H-he's so fucking lucky" he admits, eyes shaking. He knows he sounds nervous and distressed, but if you notice, you don't mention it.
He watches as you smile proudly and go back to sucking on the popsicle, without a single care in the world. Your red tongue pokes out to lick along its length, before you start suckling on its tip.
oh, how he wishes he was that godforsaken popsicle.
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It happens again on a leisure evening. Jay had rented out the movie you so desperately wanted to see, but somewhere in the middle, you got bored. Honestly,he should’ve sensed it coming; from the weary sighs leaving your lips, to the way you were reclined on the couch, it couldn’t have been more obvious.
"It's so hard being single I swear, my fingers don't do it for me and i am so fucking frustrated right now "
Jay thinks he has developed hearing impairment. If not that, then maybe brain damage, because he's sure he's making this all up in his head somehow. there's no way you're talking to him about masturbation right now. This has to be one of his lucid dreams, there's no way you're that comfortable around him.
oh but you are. Your eyes rest on his, curious, inquisitive, as if waiting for a response. But jongseong has lost his ability to formulate coherent sentences.
"Oh" he blurts.
that's it. That's all that he can come up with.
It's an essential mercy that you don't particularly seem to care for his response, just needing a signal to rant more.
"Yes. oh. and i swear Jay, sometimes I'll try to get my fingers in there, but it's so fucking tight and they only go half way in, it's so frus-"
Jay tunes the rest of the conversation out. His mind latches onto the word "Tight ". His throat becomes parched and his palms sweat profusely where they rest against his thighs. His eyes travel down your body, drinking you in. The moles on your collarbone are so fucking tempting, he wonders if someone has told you this before. The way your skirt pools around your thighs has him gasping for air, too much skin, his palms itch to grope.
He feels like a fucking creep, because the creases on your forehead and the heated movements of your hands as you emphasize your point, makes it clear that you are just rambling.
He's your best friend and you're sharing your issues with him, like normal friends do. except Jay is not normal. At least, not when it comes to you.
He knows that you've not had much experience, knows that you've never even been fucked good, and he can't stop his imagination from running wild as he pictures you under him right now. Right on the couch that you've got your pretty ass seated on.
He wonders what your cute moans sound like, wonders if you're a screamer, or do you like to deep throat on fingers to keep your voice down. Wonders what your face looks like when you're cumming. Wonders if your nails will scratch his back red while he stuffs you full of his cum, or will you beg him to pull out.
he shouldn't be having these thoughts and yet, he just can't help it.
"What about you?" you ask, disrupting his inner monologue.
"Me?" he falters, shifting a little, sneakily adjusting his aching length.
"Yeah, are you getting some? or do you just jerk off like other losers? " There's a teasing glint in your eyes as you ask him the most intimate question one can ask someone.
Jay chokes on his own saliva. Thankfully, before he can muster up the courage to stutter an embarrassing attempt of an answer, your phone rings and you're making your way out of his house. A family emergency, you tell him, and Jay can't even bring himself to ask you about it, his mind too preoccupied with the conversation you both just had.
What would you have said if he had told you about all the girls that he fucks, imagining that they were you? Would you have been disgusted, or would it turn you on?
or about all the nights he spends wanking off to your most innocent pictures on his phone; would you think he's creepy, or would you ask him to show you how?
He can't help slipping his hands inside his pants once you're gone, can't help the pathetic moans that fall from his lips while he imagines how 'tight ' you must be. Fuck. Would you clamp around his throbbing length? would your cute little pussy suck him right in?
His movements get faster, more desperate, palms getting slick with how much precum he's leaking as he jerks himself off to the thoughts of your cunt. He flicks his wrist, the friction of his rough palm against his sensitive dick driving him insane.
He needs it, he needs you.
His grasp on his leaking cock becomes firm; tighter, wetter, softer, your thoughts send him right over the edge just in a few more dreamy strokes. The act of cumming inside his boxers is so fucking filthy, the wet spot forming on the front of his pants being a testament to his perverted desires.
"fuck, fuck baby" he groans, gulping harshly while he comes down from his high, his cum covering his palms and thighs , some of it splattering onto his stomach.
God, if only you could see him right now. If only you knew what a mess you make of him.
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You're drunk.
He can see it in the way you're starting to slur your words, the sentences no longer making any sense. Your eyes are glassy and droopy, almost on the verge of passing out. He should stop you. He should snatch the bottle away from your wobbly hands and yet.
He doesn't.
Maybe if he was a better man, he would have, but jay is not that man.
Jay watches you take another swing and anticipation builds up in his chest. You're unaware, blinded to the fact that he came here with a purpose tonight; multiple bottles of rum, the particular brand that gets you groggy in a few sips, the game cards, the setting, everything was planned.
When you told him that your roommate was gone for the night, he saw the perfect opportunity to set his sick scheme into motion. And like the naive little girl that you were, you didn't even question him about his odd idea of getting drunk on a weekday, or why you were the only one getting drunk while his glass sat untouched between you both.
Your head lulls to the side ,and within a few seconds, you plop onto your back, mumbling a few intangible words, spread out on your bed like a fucking feast.
Jay inhales harshly, his tongue flicking out to lick over his dry lips. He looks around frantically, as if someone can see what he's about to do. As if someone can peek into his sick and twisted mind. There's no one here though, and his patience is running thin.
Jay crawls over your limp body, his dark eyes devouring you, memorizing every feature up close. Your hairs are splayed around your head like a halo, some strands falling onto your forehead. your lashes flutter slightly, still in between the phase of being passed out and somewhat awake. Your luscious lips keep mumbling words that he's sure even you don't understand. there's a red flush on the apple of your cheeks, enhancing the contours of your face, and Jay just wants to take a bite.
His hungry eyes travel lower,drinking your beauty in like a famished man, watching in rampant awe at how your chest rises and falls, your tank top giving him an eyeful of your soft cleavage. well damn.
His throat bobs, taking in the way your tank top rides up your stomach, exposing your entire midriff to his lustful eyes. You're so, so innocent like this, so naive. How could you trust him so easily? He was a man, it didn't matter that he was your best friend,he was a man regardless.
you really have zero survival instincts.
But Jay is glad that it's him and not someone else. Jay would never harm you, Jay would never do anything wrong to you. He just wants to love you.
His hand moves instinctively, and he's groping your soft thighs, eyes flickering up instantly to watch you with a bated breath. When you don't show any signs of waking up, his movements get harsher, his hold sliding up,grabbing a handful of your ass. A groan falls from his lips at the feeling of your soft skin against his rough palms, his dick hardening inside his pants. Your shorts are too thin to leave anything to the imagination.
Before he knows, his hands are roaming and exploring your curves freely, caressing every inch of your naked skin that he can find. God you're so soft, so fucking soft. He doesn't overdo it tho, doesn't grab you as harshly as he wants to, aware that he can't leave any marks. He leans down and bites on your lower lip inadvertently, eyes closing in delight when your taste overwhelms his senses. You're sweeter than he imagined, and he automatically presses further into you. He moves his lips, tries to kiss you, but your lack of reciprocation irks him to no end. Fueled by his desperation to taste you, his hand comes up and he's cupping your plushy cheeks, making your mouth pucker up like a fish, the little peek of your red tongue from inside drives him up the fucking wall. Without thinking, he dives in, his tongue meeting yours, licking into your hot mouth messily, slurping in your saliva like a freak.
It's too much, the feeling of your body so close, your taste, the fact that this was wrong on so many levels, it all just added up to his arousal.
He trails his lips downwards,kissing and licking every inch of your tempting flesh.
As if a switch is flipped inside his head, Jay pulls back hurriedly and unzips his pants. his hands shake on the zipper, high from the adrenaline coursing through his veins. His dick throbs against his boxers, begging for some sweet relief. His breathing is deep, the fact that he is finally about to act on his perverse fantasies hitting him hard. As he pulls his leaking dick out of the confines of his boxers, shoving them unceremoniously down to his knees, he leans back over your figure again, supporting himself with one palm resting beside your head.
He hisses painfully through his teeth, the feeling of his palm wrapping around his cock being too much.
Jay wants to see your pussy, god, he wants to taste it, he wants to fuck it till you're screaming, but not yet. He knows his limits. He knows that once he gets a peek of the treasure you hide between your legs, he might not be able to stop himself from pounding your limp body into the sheets; and so he controls the itching in his loins, resists the temptation. That can wait for another day. Right now though, he just wants to cum.
He pulls down your tank top impatiently, exposing your bra clad tits to his starving eyes. Lace, of course you wear lace.
"fucking slut" he grunts. Fuck, the way your boobs spill out of the cups, your nipples peeking through the sheer fabric makes his dick twitch. Without further ado, He wraps his palm around himself and starts stroking.
"fuck baby, look at what you do to me" he groans, leaning down to kiss your plump cheek, nuzzling his nose into your warm flesh.
His bottom lips is tucked between his teeth, his grip tightening around his leaking shaft, moving his rough palm up and down languidly. As much as he wants to take his time enjoying your body, he knows he can't take a risk. On top of that, he's too pent up to be able to drag this out, he can already feel the familiar tingling in the pit of his stomach. Too good,everything feels too good.
He whines as his thumb rubs over his engorged tip, the pleasure driving him insane.
"are you tight baby? fuck, I bet you're so fucking tight, would make my dick feel so good won't you?" He gasps into your skin, brows furrowing as his movements become harsher, faster. His abs flex and his hips jerk forward into his tight fist, imagining it's your pussy that he's fucking into.
“god it feels so good to finally fuck my fist” he pants, his warm breath fanning your flushed face.
His thighs tremble and he leans his body into yours, pressing himself flush against your unsuspecting figure. He slots his throbbing cock between your plush thighs and starts humping against you eagerly. He just can't help it. It's all your fucking fault.
"Mhmm, baby, baby, fuck you feel so good" He whimpers, fingers digging into the fat of your waist, nose buried inside the crook of your neck, breathing you in. You smell so fucking intoxicating, and he feels his sanity slipping away. God, how he wishes he could thrust inside of your wet heat right now. How he wishes he could jerk his cock off using your tight little cunt.
Its getting wet and messy, the squelching sounds coming from his cock moving back and forth against your flesh are downright filthy.
A strained moan slips from his throat and the knot in his stomach tightens. He's so fucking close.
Jay gathers a copious amount of saliva in his mouth and spits in his hand, rubbing it all over his dick, lubricating it for more pleasure, flicking his wrist faster.
"wish I was inside you right now, look how hard you make me baby, gonna cum so much f’ you-mhmnp-fuck-fuck" His whines become louder, groans get breathier, indicating the approach of an impending orgasm.
The heat inside his loins becomes unbearable and he needs contact. Direly.
Naked skin, soft flesh rubbing against his sweaty body while he jerks himself off, that’s exactly what he craves. He lets go of his cock momentarily and strips his shirt off, throwing it aimlessly across your room. He pants while he slides your bra down your chest, letting your boobs spill out in the open. The sight so lewd, he could come from this alone.
His pupils dilate, sweat trickling down his neck in effort and desire. he leans forward and presses his nipples against yours, hissing harshly, gasping in pleasure at feeling his naked chest rubbing against yours. Is this what sex with you would feel like? Sweaty bodies rutting against one another, chasing carnal pleasure?
Jay pants, and starts to jerk off furiously, wanking his dick like a mad man, palm moving back and forth while he thrusts his tongue inside your open mouth again. A groan escapes his lips, it really does feel like he is fucking you.
"God I wish you could see me right now baby, using your body for my pleasure, just like it's supposed to be" He grunts into your mouth, coating your lips with his saliva.
His hand picks up speed, he's so fucking close, his hips jerk into his own touch, chasing that friction like an animal in heat.
"God yeah, oh fuck yeah baby, gonna cum so hard for you" He groans, squeezing his eyes shut while he spurts long strings of cum onto your naked skin, hot pants fall from his mouth into yours. He squeezes his dick, tugging at it a few more times, cumming so much that it doesn't seem to stop.
"oh fuckk yeahhh, just like that" he moans, rolling over and falling onto his back beside you, rubbing his dick raw. He pumps himself shallowly, milking himself for all that he's worth, his breathing getting slower, sighs of contentment falling from his lips.
Fuck. That was so good.
He looks over at your mess of a body and quickly gets into action, getting dressed haphazardly and adjusting your clothes while he tries his best to clean every drop of cum from your skin and clothes.
The next morning when you whine about a headache, he pretends to be worried, and when you hiss in pain, telling him that there's a painful redness in your inner thighs, he tells you that it might be from your sheets rubbing against your soft skin, and that you should probably buy new ones.
If his dick twitches as he remembers rutting in between your flesh like an animal in heat, that's between him and God
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Jay is thoroughly convinced that he's losing his goddamn mind.
With each passing moment, He can feel himself descending into madness.
Nothing feels good, nothing feels worth it, time thoroughly stops if he's not constantly touching you or moping around you.
After that night, he did not get another opportunity to have you alone, and it was promptly causing havoc in his brain. It was fucking him up from the inside.
He wonders if you notice the lack of proximity between your bodies every time you both hang out together lately. But if you do notice the small lingering touches he leaves on your skin here and there, you don't mention it.
"fuck, j-just shut the fuck up" he growls, pushing the woman's head further into the pillows while he continues to plow her from behind.
Ever since he got a taste of you, Jay has found it harder and harder to find pleasure in anything or anyone else. He fucks and fucks but deep down, he knows that no pussy can ever feel like yours.
The cunt wrapped around him is warm and wet, it feels good, making hot pleasure run across his abdomen, but every time he feels his high approaching, the glaring realization that this isn't you underneath him, hits him hard. Fuck.
Jay grits his teeth and closes his eyes, remembering the taste of your soft lips on his, reminiscing the addicting feel of your nipples pressing into his hard chest; his hips pick up pace. He's fucking the woman underneath him brutally, her screams echo in the entire room, her body flailing to get out of his grasp; but Jay can't seem to stop.
"G-gah God just-take it" He groans, hissing in relief when the knot in his stomach snaps, his hips plowing at an animalistic pace, riding his high against the warm pussy in which he's buried.
"fuck fuck fuck" He chants, sighing in hot pleasure, eventually loosening his grip on the slut's body. As soon as he does tho, she pushes him off of herself, turning to him with tears streaming down her red face.
"You're a fucking animal you know?" She spits, sniffing and sobbing as she limps to her feet, his cum running down one of her legs. She collects her clothes and throws a dirty look over her shoulder towards him before she leaves.
Jay scoffs and runs an exasperated hand over his sweaty face. Refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room. All that talk and she didn’t even satisfy his dick.
What the fuck is happening to him? This type of aggression isn't typical of him and yet, he can't seem to control his emotions in the heat of the moment.
Before he can get immersed too deep into his self reflection, his phone rings, your face glowing like an angel on his lock screen.
You. The bane of his existence.
His dick twitches as he swipes right.
"Jongieee" you squeal, going on a tangent about your eye contact with heeseung across the hallway. The visible vein in jay's forehead throbs, as if all the blood's being pumped through that one particular artery in order to give him the strength to cope.
He's going to fuck heeseung's pretty face up. The rage that fills him up at the thought of another man touching you is insurmountable. It wasn't always like this. But somewhere in the middle of your budding friendship, the dynamic shifted drastically.
At first it was a stupid crush, he thought he was in love with you. But he isn't so sure now. This isn't love, no. This is beyond love. A vile, dark version of it. This is an obscene obsession. Jay is fucking obsessed with you. The need to attain you weighs heavy on his conscience.
As he hears your voice, he focuses on the sweet melody and drowns out the words. This makes the throbbing in his dick return ten fold.
He wraps a shaky hand around his slick shaft and starts to stroke it. Real nice and slow. Just how he likes it. Just like he knows your small hands will do to him.
He bites on his lower lip to prevent any sounds from escaping, and he continues to jerk off to your voice. The veins running along his cock throb in his tight grip, the swollen tip squirting precum onto his moving palm.
"Hmm yeah? Tell me more" he whispers, hoping that you don't notice how breathy his voice sounds, or how pure lust drips from his panting breaths.
The slick squelchy sounds from his palm moving up and down his leaking length echo loudly in the room. A part of him wishes that you catch him in this filthy act, relishing in the surprised and scandalized gasp that would leave your lips when you realize what he is doing.
Fuck.
His hand picks up pace, his second orgasm getting closer and closer the more that your sweet voice rings in his ears.
"Jay?" you ask, obviously confused as to why he hasn't said a single thing yet.
Jay, on the other hand, mutes his side of the mic and groans loudly.
"fuck yeah baby, say my name" He whimpers, his hips thrusting up into his tight fist.
He's jerking himself furiously now, closer, closer, he can taste the sweet release at the tip of his tongue,
"Yeah, shit y/n, make me fucking cum" his mewl fades into a high pitched moan as he shoots thick strands of cum after cum into his own fist, watching with hooded eyes , how it spurts everywhere, his abs contracting at the immense force.
God you drive him batshit crazy.
He hangs up on you, ignoring your voice calling out to him, not trusting his own voice enough to talk to you like a normal person, right after he wanked off to you like a perverted freak.
He shoots a quick message to you in explanation tho, getting his cum all over his screen in the process.
"can't hear you, network issue I think. Call u later?"
Later when Jay lets the hot water of the shower run all over his spent body, his mind drifts off to you and the events of the last few months.
He needs to fuck this madness out of his system, he decides.
Maybe once he gets his dick inside of you, he might be able to get you out of his mind.
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You look beautiful.
You always look beautiful, but something about the way that tight little red dress hugs your curves tonight has every man in the room salivating. You're like a piece of meat that's dangling in front of a pack of hungry wolves. And Jay is sure that he's the hungriest of them all.
When you had called him that afternoon, your voice sweet and pleading, begging him to accompany you to yeonjun's party, he didn't know what it would entail.
"Please, please come with me Jay, you know it's my best chance at getting heeseung to notice me" your words had been whiny, travelling straight between his legs.
He had clenched his jaw and hummed in response, not having it in him to refuse your offer. As much as it enraged him that you would take another man's name when he was right there, he also knew that his time would come.
"I love youuu, you're the best" you had squealed, making his heart do weird flips inside his chest. Yeah, he was the best. And he was going to make sure that you knew it too by the end of the night.
He's sure he's drooling, eyes tethered to the way you grind your hips on the dance floor.
It's sexy, you're so fucking sexy. Your lips are stretched into a small smile, as if you know that all eyes are feasting on you. He loves how you thrive in it, loves how you're eating up all the attention.
What he doesn't appreciate tho, is the sight of heeseung's figure making his way towards you on the dance floor. Jay's body works faster than his brain, his nostrils flaring as he makes his way towards heeseung, red hot rage propelling him forward.
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Sweat trickles down the valley of your breasts and the air feels stuffy. You need a drink. Right now.
You're mildly disappointed when you don't find heeseung anywhere in sight, all that show that you put on, and for nothing?
You sigh dramatically and make your way to the kitchen, recognizing jay's hunched over figure in the corner, doing God knows what.
"Jay? " you call out to him. His figure freezes upon hearing your voice, he turns his head to meet your eyes and shoves his hand inside his pocket without a second's delay. His behavior makes you furrow your brows "what?" you ask him incredulously. Why was he behaving like a child who'd been caught sneaking where he shouldn't be sneaking.
He shrugs his shoulders and turns fully to face your approaching form.
Jay knows that he's staring, but he just can't help it. Not tonight.
You pick up the drink from the counter and swirl it, looking around the kitchen, scrunching up your nose adorably at the intense make out session near the sink.
Jay follows your line of vision and almost groans. Did you have any idea, how badly he wanted to recreate that scene with you.
"Where's heeseung?" you question, your curious eyes looking back at him.
Jay hopes you don't notice the way his jaw immediately locks up, his mood dampening at another man’s name. Jay likes you best when you’re calling his name, he decides.
"He left" He quips, reaching for a drink with his free hand that isn't buried inside his pocket in a meticulous manner.
You look at him heatedly, and Jay sighs.
"He left, or you made him?" your voice is angry, irritated when you ask him that, and Jay feels his own anger flare up at your tone.
Not wanting to cause a scene, he grabs your hand and drags you inside the bathroom instead, grateful when you don't resist.
The way you free your wrist from his grasp to create some distance between you two, is what he doesn't like.
"What did you do?" You demand, folding your hands across your chest, pushing your boobs up in the process. Jay's eyes flicker down to your beauties and the heat in his head travels all the way down to his groin. He needs to have you, now.
You watch in horror as Jay retrieves his hand from the pocket of his pants. The cuts and bruises all over his knuckles make you gasp. Your hands fall to your sides and you look up into his eyes disbelievingly.
"I-w-why? Jay? What the fuck is wrong with you?" you ask, disbelief and anger making way for concern.
"You! you are what's fucking wrong with me!" Jay bellows and it makes you flinch, terror filling up your viens , because this isn't your Jay. Your Jay was calm, and so, so quiet.
Raging eyes look into yours as he stalks towards you. You don't see it coming when he cups your cheek in his hands and thrusts his tongue inside your mouth. Your hands come up to bang against his chest but it only propels him to pull you further into his chest. Fuck, it feels so fucking good when you move against him.
You whine while his tongue tastes your hot mouth hungrily, forcing it deep inside the crevices of your cavity.
Mustering up all the strength that's left in your body, you push him away, heaving heavy breaths as he stumbles back by a few steps.
Your watery eyes look at him in horror and disbelief, refusing to believe that your best friend just forced himself upon you.
"You're insane" you whisper, your voice hauntingly quiet.
He pulls your body closer to himself and kisses you again, diving into your taste desperately "for you, so fucking crazy for you" he murmurs between kisses, continuing to make out with you, making a mess at how forcefully he sucks your tongue into his mouth.
You hit against his chest, thrashing your body in his hold. He pulls back a little and rests his forehead against yours, his eyes are crazed as they look into yours. A string of saliva connects your mouth to his famished one.
"Let me fuck you" He pants.
His words hit you like a slap across the face. What the fuck.
Your head feels dizzy, too much was happening for you to process. Using all the force you could, you push him away from you again.
"Stop acting like this jay!" you cry, just wanting your best friend back. But from the looks of it, he's nowhere in sight.
No, no, no. This can't be happening to you
"Come on, you know you want this" Jay hisses, malice dripping from his eyes.
Your lips wobble and you can do nothing but shake your head, it lolls on your neck lifelessly. You want to say something, but words feel foreign, as if not knowing how to bend your tongue to make the syllables sound quite right.
The bathroom is a tight space, not much expanse for you to run or hide. You see the door from your peripheral and it gives you some hope. If you can get the door to open up in time, you can scream. Maybe someone might hear you through the bass boosted music thrumming in the house.
You stumble back a few more steps but before you can stretch your hand towards the bathroom door, he pounces on you, a sharp whoosh leaving your mouth as your back thumps against the wall behind. He buries his nose inside the crook of your neck, gliding it's slope across the expanse of your soft skin, humming in desire.
His hands run all over your body, cupping your boobs through your dress, making you mewl as he twists your nipples painfully.
"it's about time we had sex baby" he whispers in your ear, biting and nibbling on your earlobe sensually.
"J-jay p-please think about this" you plead, your voice small and frightened, tremors covering your entire figure when he starts to unbuckle his jeans impatiently.
"Think? Oh sweetheart, you have no idea how much I've thought about this do you? " His eyes stay on yours, maintaining eye contact while his fingers unzip his pants. Jay had forgone boxers, too impatient to take his time undressing. His sole purpose was to get his dick inside your stomach tonight.
"This is all I've been thinking about for the past year baby, your cute little cunt is all i fucking think about" He grits.
His dick plops out of his pants, hitting his abdomen, smearing a blob of precum on his happy trail. Your eyes widen and water further, little sobs start to wrack your body. Your eyes take in the view of his uncut cock, curving upwards in sexual need.
"Too big?” he asks, tone mocking your deer caught in the headlights expression, his body presses closer to yours while he works to slide your tight little dress up your thighs, exposing your panty clad pussy to his eyes , fuck yeah.
“I'll make it fit" he groans, running his fingers over your vulva, pinching your clit in the process. You sob and start flailing in his hold, your fists coming up to hit against his chest.
"Jay please, please,no" your voice shakes urgently when he tears your sheer panties apart in pieces, his tongue coming out to lick over his dry lips.his eyes are wide and unseeing, they terrify you.
"Fuck, this pussy has been driving me fucking crazy" he pants, taking a hold of his dick and running it's bulbous head along your slit, coating it in his precum. His eyes come up to momentarily look in your terrified ones and he bites his lower lip, gaze famished and hungry, drinking up all your reactions.
He pops his head in between your silky folds and his knees buckle at the delicious feeling, his free hand coming up to rest against the wall behind you, as he cages you against it.
"fuck, you're tight, gonna have a field day forcing myself inside" he tuts, amused.
His words make you sob, an inexplicable heat spreading across your pelvis when he bullies more of his throbbing shaft inside, satisfied moans leaving his mouth in stuttering gasps.
He wraps your leg around his waist and without warning, buries himself inside your cunt in one harsh thrust, doubling over in pleasure.
"Oh fuck yeah baby, shit" He growls, resting his forehead against yours, his hot breaths falling on your wet cheeks.
You wail and scream but Jay doesn't stop moving, your small fists do nothing to deter his movements, his hips starting to pick up pace instead. His brows furrow in pleasure and he moans into your mouth, urging you to cry more as his cock pumps deep inside your guts.
"Tight little slut, this is what you fucking wanted didn't you? Fucking cock tease" he hisses, throwing his head back in extreme ecstasy, pounding his hips rapidly into yours. The feeling of your nails scratching the skin of his neck makes him groan in pleasure.
"Yeah baby, you wanna fight? let's fucking fight like this" He whispers silkily, grabbing your ass in his big palms, groping your soft flesh painfully, digging his own nails into it.
"h-hurts so much Jay, stop please, p-please" you sob, tears blurring your vision, the stretch from his cock being too much for your tiny little pussy. The way your nails dig into his shoulders, you're sure that if he was naked, you would break his skin.
Jay scoffs and presses your body further into the wall, snapping his hips faster into yours, fucking desperately into your wet, hot cunt.
"Yeah? But your cunt is sucking me in baby, looks like you like what we're doing"
You throw your head back at his words, unable to stop your hips from gyrating against his thrusts. Pleasure was starting to cloud your mind.
"fucking finally, feels so good to be buried in this pussy, should have forced myself in it a long time ago" He pants, taking your lower lip in his mouth while he increases the intensity of his rut. You moan into his mouth when he digs his teeth in your plump flesh, his actions barbaric.
The squelching sounds start filling up the small cubicle, the filthiness of the whole act only working to fuel your desire more.
Before you can get submerged in pleasure tho, Jay pulls out of you with an embarrassing ‘plop’ and forces you to your knees instead; ignoring how you hiss in pain at the feeling of the rough tiles scraping against your bare knees.
He penetrates your mouth with his cock and starts fucking, plowing it like it's your cunt, moaning and groaning in pure pleasure.
You dig your nails into his thighs but he ignores your pleas to breathe, pushing your head further against the wall instead. He digs his fingers in your hairs and grinds his hips into your plump mouth, his dick hitting the back of your throat mercilessly.
"God yeah, just like that, jerked off so much to you baby, suck my dick like you fucking mean it" His whiny voice travels straight between your legs and you moan. The vibrations of your throat make his dick twitch inside your mouth and he pulls out with a groan.
He rubs his cock head against your lips and buries himself to the hilt inside your throat again, pressing your nose against his pubes while his cum filled balls slap against your chin.
The lack of gagging makes him chuckle in disbelief “no fucking gag reflex, god your throat is just like a fucking cunt”.you mewl and rub your thighs together at his words.
"Fucking hell, should have done this before, we could have been fucking so much" he grouches, kneeling down and forcing your body onto the floor. It's a tight fit, but jay doesn't seem to care. He folds your body in half and thrusts inside your pussy again. His movements are so impatient and hurried, you aren't used to being desired this way.
"mhmnm yeah, pussy feels so good" He growls, his hold tightening further around your legs that rest against his shoulders and he starts to rut into your tight heat again. This time it's more desperate, downright filthy. He's panting on your face, letting a string of saliva drip from his mouth into yours when he sees your mouth open in a silent scream. You choke on it and he laughs, condescending, hissing through gritted teeth.
"Get used to this baby, we're gonna be fucking so much after tonight, gonna keep my cock buried in your fuck hole" he groans, bullying his cock into your hole over and over again.
You wrap your arms around his neck and start grinding into him, staring back into his eyes to let him know that you want this.
His eyes widen upon feeling your hips thrusting upwards, humping his cock, hot pleasure running down his spine.
"Yeah baby? fuck, you like this? fucking slut, you did all of that on purpose didn't you? wanted to drive me fucking crazy for this pussy?"
You nod in pleasure, all rational thoughts leaving your mind. All you know is, that his dick feels a little too good when it rams against your cervix.
You are close, way too close, your body convulsing in carnal lust as your orgasm washes over you all of a sudden.
Moan after moan of his name falling from your red bitten lips.
He laughs as he feels your cum trickle down his thighs, drenching his balls in your juices.
"fucking slut" He moans, throwing his head back as he enjoys the clenching of your throbbing cunt on his leaking shaft.
He feels himself close to his high, but he doesn't want this to end. Not yet.
Jay pulls out and rests his back against the wall, patting his thigh for your spent figure as you lie on the floor.
"Come sit on it " He breaths, his voice strained due to how much effort it takes for him to not start jerking off to the sight of your sticky cum running between your pussy lips.
So fucking hot. He wants to obliterate your pussy.
He watches with hooded eyes as you get up on your knees and crawl towards him, eyes trailing down to his hard dick. Jay groans at your hungry gaze, fuck yeah. You want him. You want his dick.
This singular thought forces him to wrap his palm around his leaking prick. Your eyes widen and a small mewl escapes your lips as you watch him stroke his length slowly, wet sounds resonating between the space between your hot bodies.
Jay bites on his lower lip and starts to stroke faster "yeah you like this? This is how I jerked off to your thoughts baby, rubbed my dick raw every night, imagining it was your pussy instead of my fucking hand" He pants, cupping his balls with his other hand, the double stimulation driving him insane.
The sight in front of you is so lewd, it makes your pussy drip. The way his pants are not all the way off, resting against his ankles, hanging on him unceremoniously is so hot, your cunt clenches around nothing.
Without a single thought, you close the gap between your bodies, straddling his lap while you maintain a hungry eye contact with him. He looks famished as he watches you replace his palms with yours, tugging on his throbbing cock a few more times before you guide it to your wet hole.
"Yeah baby put it in, come on, put my dick inside" He groans, his hands coming up to wrap around your waist, pulling you down onto his length impatiently. You both let out gasps of pleasure when his dick slips inside, buried in you balls deep.
"f-fuck" you moan and he hums, throwing his head back in pleasure. The itch in your pussy starts to intensify and your hips start moving on their own, looking a way to satisfy it.
"Yeah, ride it, ride it like you fucking want it" he moans, thrusting up into your hole. You gasp and hold onto his shoulders, slamming yourself up and down on his shaft. The sex feels too good. So hot and so messy. It makes you wonder why you were resisting it in the first place.
Your hot, sweaty bodies rutt against one another desperately, feeling your highs approaching at a rapid pace.
"Bounce on it baby, come on, make me cum, wanna fill this pussy up" He pants, digging his nails into your thighs as he begins thrusting up at a rapid pace. You squeal at the sudden action but bury your face inside the crook of his neck in pleasure. Too good. Fuck it's starting to get too hot.
Desperate gasps escape his lips when your cunt starts clenching around him again, he's close, so close. Fuck yeah. He can’t believe he is finally gonna cum in your cunt, and just the thought of it was enough to make the knot in his stomach snap.
"Just like that, oh yeah, oh fuckkkkkk" he growls, humping upwards as he holds your body down and squirts his cum into your womb, thrusting rapidly into your swollen pussy, making you cum again.
You moan and whine when he doesn't stop moving, his hips pick up pace without break and your head gets dizzy. The over-stimulation getting to your head.
"can't stop fucking, let's do it again yeah? let me pound this cunt again I'm so fucking hard"
Before you can protest, he is flipping you around, pressing your body against the bathroom floor, your boobs squished against the cold tiles. The tiles were so dirty, probably because of the number of couples before you both, who couldn't wait to get down and dirty. You wonder, how many people fucked in this cubicle before you, and your back arches on its own. You feel his body mounting you and he envelops your sweaty body with his meaty arms.
You gasp upon feeling his thumb prodding at your asshole, dipping in and out experimentally.
"Jay not there please please I've never-" your begging gets cut off with a shrill scream as his entire head bullies inside your sphincter.
Jay's eyes roll back in pleasure and he moans, the sound so pornographic that it makes hot lust run through your womb.
"fucking hell baby, it's tighter than your pussy, gonna fuck it so hard"
Your legs flail but Jay doesn’t stop dicking you down, he thrusts his entire length inside your virgin hole and groans in ecstasy, it is the tightest hole he's ever been buried in. His hips start moving, plowing into you at a rapid pace. He puffs and huffs like a dog in heat, the stimulation around his dick pushing him closer to the edge again. Your hole stays tight as a clamp around his meat.
You, on the other hand, wail in pleasure mixed with pain. It hurts, it hurts but God does it hurt so good. His balls slap against your ass cheeks painfully.
Skin slapping sounds fill up the bathroom and you push your ass back against his dick, moaning and bucking back, needing it deeper inside your stomach.
"That's right baby, fuck back on me, gonna cum so hard again" His plaintive groans indicate his arousal, lust drips from the frantic movements of his hips.
He thrusts inside you wantonly, his desire to nut overpowering all other senses.
The desperate rut and stimulation of your hole sends you tumbling over another orgasm, your legs quivering as you come with a pleasured moan, chanting his name in a prayer.
The tight clamping of your two sphincter muscles on his fully engorge cock send jay over the line. He bellows loudly, cursing and grunting as spurt after spurt of his pent-up sperm paint the inside of your fuck hole
Finally satiated, Jay falls onto your limp body, kissing your earlobe, mumbling lazily about how he's gonna fuck you again and again till he erases heeseung's name from the forefront of your mind.
You don't tell him that there is no heeseung anymore. You don't tell him how every cell of your body only craves his touch now, aching to be plowed by his dick alone.
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cleromancy · 8 months
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the fact that preboot jason never found out tim took jason red robin costume once he "got fired" (-tim, only in the privacy of his own head)/"graduated" (-dick, well-meaning)/"got thrown out with the other garbage" (-damian, hilarious)/"left" (-tim out loud, ignoring them both)
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the way tim (reliable narrator) was like. yeah this costume is already tainted and i have to be willing to do morally gray things to prove bruce is alive. so thats why im wearing it. because its tainted. this is the most logical course of action and also the only reasonable explanation i retroactively landed on for a decision i already made
tim also having no way of knowing what the universe jason GOT THAT COSTUME IN WAS LIKE OR WHAT BRUCE DID FOR JASON IN THAT UNIVERSE
and its like well MY interpretation is that. yeah of course he wants to take on one of the outcast's identities to bring bruce back. and then of course hes going to just hang it up when bruce comes back because hes going to stop feeling like an outcast just as soon as bruce comes back and everything goes back to normal. This definitely doesnt signify a major change in the status quo or his role in the family (he *is* still family they signed the papers and everything, they gave him the name, it wasnt just pity its real hes still family he *is*, he hasn't been cast out, he *hasnt*) or his priorities or-- its temporary. when bruce comes back everything is going to be better and he wont need this suit anymore and hes going to hang it up just as soon as he stops feeling this way and everything is going to be fine.
smash cut to bruce upon his return doling out one (1) hug and immediately fucking off on a globe trotting vanity project and Tim just left staring after him like Oh. okay
(and like bruce was never like. going to be able to magically fix anything even if he *had* any interest in doing so. this was not a reasonable expectation tim had. some of the shit tim is losing his absolute marbles over does not actually even *need* to be "fixed." to be excessively clear.)
anyway i think jason "do you really think youre that good" "so work *with* me" "join me. be my robin" todd deserved the chance to really gleefully dig his fingers into every single one of those sore spots. GO FOR IT JASON. MAKE HIM WORSE
also like. god battle for the cowl was so unserious on every possible level but can you imagine if dick at the time had been like "i still cant figure out how he GOT OUT OF PRISON. he used the jla codes! how did he even get those!" and tim (guy who gave jason the fucking codes in robin 182) was just like
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yeah. weird
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dootznbootz · 6 months
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Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.
Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)
Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.
But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.
WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!
There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.
Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.
But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?
I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."
BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.
This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.
I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.
This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.
With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗
I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.
Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.
Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how
"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"
I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?
[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.
(Fagles, Book 10)
In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.
Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.
But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’
(Fagles, Book 10)
Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.
Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.
Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’
(Fagles, Book 10)
But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.
Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.
Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".
...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …
(Fagles, Book 10)
Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)
I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway                                                of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice.                      She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.
HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.
He made her swear not to harm him.
Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …
(Fagles, Book 10)
Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.
He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.
"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."
She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’
So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.
(Fagles, Book 10)
He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.
She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.
This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.
Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!
They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)
His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.
We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.
I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.
...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’
(Fagles, Book 10)
Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.
And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!
‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.
(Fagles, Book 10)
[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will
(A.S. Kline, Book 10)
This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"
I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.
Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)
Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".
She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.
She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.
Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.
But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?
(Fagles, Book 10)
She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?
(Johnston, Book 10)
She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.
NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!
In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.
But you know what's funny to me?
He didn't tell Circe he was there.
He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.
The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?
SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.
I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]
Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]
But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details
(Fagles, Book 12)
In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!
So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground. 
(Johnston, Book 12)
Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.
I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.
I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.
A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.
Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.
Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.
Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".
I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!
Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"
Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.
In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.
If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤
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sciderman · 5 months
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Hi Sci! You always have the best Peter Parker Takes™️, so I was hoping you could help me with something! I like a lot of things about Peter, but I find it so hard to reconcile the fact that he tends to be written as pro-police and politically moderate. I personally headcanon that he was more of a morally black-and-white hothead when he first started Spider-Manning, but as he grew older and wiser, he started understanding that everything tends to be shades of gray and thinking before swinging in with punches. Still, you’d think a kid who grew up poor in Queens would know better than to just go “ah you are stealing and therefore Bad” ya know?? I know these grievances are more with what the comics/film industry will publish, but still, my kingdom for some nuance!!
oh, bless you anon! god - the cop question is so interesting in superhero media, it really is - and, honestly, my take is kind of the opposite of yours. peter parker wasn't aligned with the cops in any way when he started. in fact, he kind of had a general distaste for cops because, you know, the cops kind of had it out for him.
never forget, peter being a bitchy little bitch boy to the cops is kind of his origin story.
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when peter started he actually had very little respect for other heroes or law enforcement at all. he kind of just worried about himself, and his aunt may and that was all. he wasn't any sort of beacon of morality who was seeking to deliver justice or anything. he kind of just wanted to take photographs and make a buck. it took him a long time to start playing "hero" - and even when he did, law enforcement and him were generally not on the same side.
i think his first real positive relationship with someone on the side of the law was captain stacy - peter, obviously, respected him a lot and, you know, captain stacy died heroically.
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still, spider-man's relationship with the law continues to be rocky at best - he's constantly being hunted by the law but also some individual cops kind of have a soft-spot for him and let him off the hook - sometimes he helps them, sometimes he's on the run - they love him, they love him not - kind of fluctuates. i think the spider-man comics are generally noncommital about the cop question and kind of just play whatever song will give peter parker the most drama. spider-man comics were are generally lighthearted about this sort of a thing.
i think it's not until a post 9/11 world where copaganda kind of became a lot more prevalent in superhero media and you suddenly started seeing all the heroes working with law enforcement. suddenly, i think, it became unquestionable - a hero had to respect the law, even if they were a vigilante. i think - especially with spider-man comics being set in new york - there was a desire to see these heroic figures working alongside "real life heroes" - so, i think all of the sentiment that peter is pro-cop came from a post-9/11 world, which - to be fair, with the first spider-man movie coming out when it did, it's no wonder that the public consensus on spider-man is that he'd be pro-cop.
andrew's spidey - andrew's spidey isn't full-on anti-police, but he doesn't exactly hold law enforcement in the highest respect
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the movie itself isn't police-critical but peter is portrayed as your general "no respect for authority" kind of kid in tasm1 who's relationship with the law i guess shifts after captain stacy helps him and dies heroically. andrew and the cops are presumably bffs in tasm2 – he's kind of just totally beloved by the city in tasm2. i feel like tasm2 probably really severely under-explores spider-man. in fact, it feels like spider-man is barely in tasm2. he's barely a character. i think maybe that's where the tasm movies stumble, actually. those movies really aren't about spider-man at all. they're entirely about peter parker. and yes, there is a difference.
tom holland's spider-man is a cop. police don't really feature in his story, but he is one. funded by the elite class and basically tasked with looking after their property. hate that. gross.
i think it's why i hate seeing peter working with the avengers. the avengers are cops. he doesn't belong there. it's only a recent development where we started getting spider-man on team-rosters - he was always a solo guy who didn't really particularly want to play with others. he had his own stuff to deal with and it didn't matter to him hugely whether he was playing on the side of the law or not. he was dealing with his stuff.
personally i'm not about seeing a morally black-and-white peter parker. i don't think he's ever been that way and i still hate seeing him reduced to that - i think we see him painted as politically moderate because spider-man stories really aren't often about asking greater questions - i don't think it's the platform for it. peter is always too concerned with his own personal troubles to pursue any sort of activism - i think it's quite funny - as active as spider-man is, peter parker is generally an apathetic figure, and i think that makes him a certain degree of relatable. i think characters like gwen and mj and even aunt may are more politically active than peter parker is. peter's kind of too busy just trying to survive.
i love the thought of a peter parker that does punch first. i think that's his whole bag. he's not thoughtful. he's quick to anger. he actually isn't particularly thoughtful and doesn't always approach situations with some moral wisdom. sometimes he punches the wrong people. sometimes his anger is misguided. his energy is practically always going into the wrong places. he doesn't always know what's right and wrong. but he tries.
i'm so not into the stories that paint him as a moral beacon because - more often than not - he's doing it for himself. if he really did have unwavering respect for the law and his morals perfectly aligned with the cops, he wouldn't put the mask on. it's like, the whole point. a vigilante exists fundamentally by it's disobedience to the law. otherwise they'd be carrying a badge.
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soimcoga · 1 year
Text
"every major baddie problem in the lmk universe is caused by SWK not dealing with his shit properly"
exept he dealt with all the shit and i'm tired of people ignoring it to paint him as an ignorant, uncaring bastard.
(very very minor s4 spoilers, so the cut)
Demon Bull King? Got his ass whooped and was sealed away for however long years it took for an entire ass megapolis to be built literally on top of him, causing absolutely no trouble to anyone whatsoever. Oh, and what sealed DBK? The staff. And if you'd care to know SWK outside of the LEGOverse, you'd realize how strong was SWK's resolve to seal DBK - keep him relatively safe, one might say - by using his trusty staff. The guy would literally die seven times over than let go of this thing.
Also people like, ignore the fact that canonically SWK stuck around the area (for the most part to stalk MK, but still), so he was literally there to deal with the DBK family if something went southwards? He didn't, because MK was able to hold the staff and the legend of the Monkie Kid then began.
(also zero antagonistic feelings towards DBK from SWK, like, whatsoever. i bet the dude actually wanted DBK to be free, cuz he felt bad abt it)
Macaque? In a morally gray manner, still very dealt with. SWK killed the dude. He was literally as dealt with as it can be. Or what, should SWK have predicted that after thousand upon thousand of years later a spirit (he dealt with too) would pull Mac out of Diyu? Yeah, I'd like to see that thought process.
SWK isn't omnipotent, he isn't even that far-thinking. Never was, actually. So holding that against him is like, very stupid. Especially because you don't do it to any other character in the show. 
Spider Queen? Wouldja look at that, also pretty much dealt with. We don't really know how exactly, but we know that she lost literally every ounce of power she had and had to resort to living in the sewers, prolly never to cause troubles ever again because, well, we never even heard of her until the special. SQ was pulled onto the scene by the Lady Bone Demon.
Which is, again, something SWK couldn't predict even if he tried.
And now into the fun part.
Lady Bone Demon? Was sealed away by Tripitaka and also didn't cause any trouble until DBK decided to use this freaky coffin he knew literally zero things about for his plans.
"But he should've killed LBD!!!"
He tried. Believe him he tried. This decision just wasn't his, and if you hold it against him and not Tripitaka, shame on you.
"He should have told the crew about LBD!"
He really couldn't have.
And people thinking that are blatantly ignoring SWK's character. Not that obnoxious fan favorite uncaring bastard one.
SWK deals with things on his own. That is just how he is, how he always was and he never learned to do it the other way around. If that's a fight, he'll do it, because he's damn strong. If it's to scout the mountain, he'll do it, because Bajie is a lazy ass motherfucker. If it's to find food for Trip, he'll do it, cuz he's fast and his eyes are awesome.
Same applies here.
LBD? Tried to kill her and Trip didn't let me -> Basically I didn't do the job right -> WTF I always do my job right, I am Sun Wukong hello???
It was, dare I say, a question to his pride, and SWK will forever be prideful. And when he acts on his pride, he does it with style and flare, in the most stupid way possible.
Hence all of the s2 off-screen investigation arc.
"Well, he should've told about the Samadhi rings!"
It would've endangered Mei, questioned his at this point in time very shaky authority and ability to handle shit, and prolly would've fucked Mei up a very whole lot.
You don't go and say to a person that they are a part of the most dangerous seal in the world and could die and destroy everything they love because you fucked up long time ago (again, very much jabbing at his mentality of 'Sun Wukong can do no bad job, and if he does he'll better fucking die trying to make it right').
Was his plan a shitty one? Obviously. Like, no question asked, it was a shit show of a plan. Very in character, though (SWK handles all the shit because he thinks he can).
And this little character arc of SWK not learning a damn thing results in him, oh golly you would not believe it, running off to do things on his own because he thinks he can handle it, because he's THE Sun Wukong who already handled this in the past.
Who woulda thought.
MINOR S4 SPOILERS START HERE
And the new addition to the baddie group, Azure Lion. Won't be addressing all 'SWK is a betraying bitch' because the show refuses to give us SWK's perspective and I hate it.
But you already know what I will say, because you know the truth. He was dealt with. Got his ass whooped and sealed away in the inky scroll. To be pulled back onto the scene by a third party that Wukong literally couldn't have known about.
See a pattern?
SWK deals with the shit, some unknown variable meddles in it, suddenly SWK is an incapable asshole who left the problems for the poor lmk crew to deal with.
MINOR S4 SPOILERS END HERE
Wukong did his job. Someone fucked him over by undoing his job. He tried to deal with it again the only way he knows how, but the solo play doesn't fly anymore, so he made it kinda worse.
He's not an unbearable, incapable asshole because of it.
And I'm tired of people not seeing this.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I am Sun Wukong Apologist till the day I die.
Have a nice day!
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smokingtomas · 10 months
Text
An Indecent Encounter
A/N: Please tell me you’re also thirstrapped by Kenshi’s new design for MK1. This fic is written so I can get it out of my system hoping I can think about him a normal amount lol. Thank you @cryinginthebackseat for the moral support/beta. Love you 4everrr!
Pairing: Kenshi Takahashi x female reader
Warning: light smut
AO3
Read part 2 here!
You casually leaned onto the wooden bar, ignoring the apple martini a stranger bought for you earlier. That sleaze bag should’ve known better–  a scotch with a side of courage to actually talk could go a long way. This right here, was a hard, hard pass.
But what caught your eye next was too hard to miss. This man had intensity drawn across his perfectly sculpted jawline. His brown eyes hunted around the room, seemingly searching for someone and ending up at the bar before standing next to you.
Up close, you noticed how his hand was covered with intricate tattoos down to a part of his fingers. You assumed the rest of it was hidden under his gray suit, which you wouldn’t mind taking off to see what’s like underneath. To have those drawn hands hovering all over your body, oh you would kill. The mere thought of it got you biting down your lower lip.
“Do you need something?”
Fuck– you’d been staring way too long. The gentleman’s voice awakened you on your spiritual journey to Dirtyville.
Thankfully, you were an expert when it comes to getting under a man’s pants. So you fetched the most charming, friendliest smile you could now and slowly leaned towards his ear while secretly hoping it didn't come out awkwardly.
“Just placing a bet with myself which one of those lovely ladies on the corner would be the first to get under you.” You were thankful that those were honest truth– geez, those girls could not be more obvious. “I’m guessing you didn’t notice.”
“Not that I care much about it.” He shrugged before he fully averted his gaze to you, “On the other hand, you… I wouldn't mind.”
Of course you'd boast about his interest in you to yourself, but you scoffed at the remark to seem nonchalant, “Excuse me, I don’t sleep with strangers like you.”
“Strangers like me?”
“Well, a stranger in LA who actually hates the city but you’re in town for some inescapable family business?” You guessed wildly, “And you probably ended up in this bar because you’re alone and in need of validation that you’re intimidating when you’re actually a vulnerable being who’s a bad kisser.”
The man smiled for the first time– you swore that smile could make those girls sitting in the corner quiver so hard they could come.
"For a stranger, those wild accusations only covered a speck of the truth." He replied, "I'm Kenshi."
"Telling me your name doesn't make you less of a stranger."
"I'd buy you a drink, but I can see that you already have one."
"Are you underestimating my ability to drink?"
"Fine, I'll take it as a yes." Kenshi gested, "I wouldn't take you as one who drinks apple martini, anyway."
Boom. Jackpot .
"What do I drink, then?" Your tone was challenging.
He thought for a second, brown eyes scanning you from the top to the bottom before gesturing to the bartender, "Two scotch neat. With a twist."
Double. Fucking. Jackpot.
He did everything right– It was time to change gears.
"Cheers," you said, clinking your glass to his once the bartender fetched your drinks, "to strangers."
"I believe it's to uh, not-so-strangers."
"You just want to speed things up, don't you?"
"Can you blame me if I tried?"
You smirked at him before taking a sip of your drink, and kept eye contact even after you put down the empty glass.
And so one scotch turned to three, digested alongside some more heavily flirtatious banter and oh-so-innocent grazes– at this point, you were sober enough to know you wanted to fuck him, but tipsy enough to not give a fuck about the consequences of getting it on with a complete stranger.
"I bet I was right before," This time, you dangled your hand on his broad shoulder, "When I said that you’re in town for business."
He snickered, "I might as well tell you that I'm here to take back a family heirloom."
"Like a ring?"
"A sword… An ancient katana ."
Hearing him saying a Japanese word made you want to tear off everything he wore, but something about an ancient sword really tickled your brain, "Ah, a big sword for a big shot."
"As I was saying, it's a family heirloom."
You were tipsy, but it finally clicked, "I know a guy who collected one of those."
You expected a surprised response– hell, it should've been something that jumped him off and followed by more inquisitiveness.
It might have been the alcohol, but his actual reaction had him grinning, pulling himself closer to you. His fit physique towered over you and you could care less about your expectation when God had something better off his sleeve.
"Oh, you do know a guy, don't you?"
"Oh, I do," You welcomed his gesture with both hands caressing his stubble, "But right now, I guess you only want one thing, do ya?"
It didn't take you by surprise when Kenshi's lips touched yours. Instead, you welcomed him with both of your arms around his neck to taste the whisky off his mouth.
His soft lips tasted like malt you found yourself melting within each brush. The last thing you wanted this time was for him to stop kissing you, but of course he had to.
"Remember when you said earlier," He murmured against your ear, his breath gently teasing the tip of it, "that I probably am a bad kisser?"
You did. Only to provoke him. Even before those godly lips were on yours, you were certain if those lips ended up anywhere near you, you would turn into a mess of a puddle.
“You want me to say it?” You purred, your fingers gently teased his abs, riding up to his chest, “But I’m more of a… shower.”
In this position where you were nicely trapped between him and the bar, once again, both of your lips meld into pure bliss. Yes, it was a quiet night at the place and people could easily spot your little action, but you didn't care and neither did he seem to with how eager his mouth was to explore yours. You darted out a tongue before you felt his mouth formed a satisfied smirk.
What started off as soft and sensual soon turned into something carnal. Kiss was getting deeper, both your tongue were satiated with lust. He teased your skin so deliciously but he never touched you where you wanted him the most, and the fabric covering you had started to bother you.
You wanted him, and it was obvious that he wanted you too. So out of curiosity, a hand of yours reached down his pants before finding him hot and hard against your palm.
"Oh, you naughty little… what would I do to you." He growled, but with that wolfish grin on his stupidly gorgeous face, you knew he liked it.
Biting your lip in response, you looked up to your surroundings– initially for some air, but instead you found a few pairs of eyes in your direction. You couldn't exactly blame them for looking– you just heavily made out and groped a man in a public place. Being the center of attention had never been your problem and you could certainly continue this little quarrel where you were, but Kenshi was looking like a piece of meat and you had other plans in mind.
"Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes." You hushed with an implied promise a man would know too well.
"Oh, I thought you don't sleep with strangers like me." His tone tinged with cockiness.
You grin devilishly, "Who says anything about sleeping?"
Leaving one last, teaseful peck on his cheek before fleeing to the bathroom and making sure you smelled minty fresh.
Kenshi arrived three minutes later when you were spraying some perfume on yourself.
“Someone’s early. You’re not supposed to be here until–”
The last thing you saw was Kenshi locking the door hastily before slamming you against the nearest wall. With a fistful of your hair in his grip, his hungry lips were on yours once again and he had seemed to ditch the teasing game plan he had outside. This time, you found his hands rode up your skirt and cupped your curves, teeth had traveled to the junction of your neck and sent you writhing in pleasure.
There wasn’t much room to maneuver, but Kenshi got hold of both of your thighs so effortlessly that you let out a gasp when you found yourself on the countertop. Didn’t take long for him to break off the kiss to loosen up the buttons of your shirt. Soon enough, his suit touched the floor as well.
With Kenshi worshiping your newly exposed skin ever so religiously, every wet trail he left had set you ablaze, and the fire burned even more when his teeth found your lace-covered nipple.
"Oh, f-fuck me, Jesus." You moaned.
"That's… not my name, but I'll take his place."
His cheeky remark made you giggle– he totally deserved that little shove on his shoulder.
But when he kissed you again, overwhelming you with a mouthfeel of alcohol, the flame was still there burning. It pooled into your stomach and as he tugged down your underwear, you saw him licked his lips. Maybe he'd found you… too eager.
He put your lacy garment in his pocket before zipping down his pants just enough to free himself. It was really bound to happen, and all the haziness almost made you forget something.
"Wait, wait!," You hurriedly roam through your purse, "Here."
You handed him a rubber and without hesitation, he ripped open the foil before rolling it onto himself. Yes, you wanted Kenshi to relentlessly screw you, but you just met this guy– who knows who or what kind of shit he'd done with that dick.
But when Kenshi sunk himself into you in one effortless move, my, my– it felt sensational you had to bite back a groan. Though the attempt seemed useless the minute he immediately started thrusting his hips back and forth in a pace that felt monstrous for your senses.
You couldn't speak, let alone think. Only letting out a whimper each time his pelvic bones hit yours. You were dying to kiss him. To dig your fingers in his broad back, especially when his tattooed hands held down your thighs and effectively changed his angle.
But you couldn't really complain when that lustful face of his was yours to look at in the moment– eyes tense yet drowsy, bottom lips popped open. Still, you wanted more. So you mustered a strength strong enough to pull him onto you, but gentle enough so you could sit up and continue kissing him intensely.
"I want you to fuck me senseless against the wall." You demanded.
"I thought you'd never ask."
Complying with your request, he crashed your back onto the wall once again, this time supporting both of your thighs and proceeding to penetrate you deeply, repeatedly. Hands entangled behind his neck, red swollen lips dueling, throaty moans echoed in the heat of the moment. It was like the satan himself came up to bless this indecent encounter.
You didn't want him to stop. You were so, so close that you tightened your circling legs around his torso. You wanted him to keep going even when a knock on the door was heard along with an attempted turn of the doorknob.
Really, what rang through your ears were the squelching sound of your arousal, and the tempo picked up as Kenshi's pounding got a little too hard for you to keep it hushed– you knew he was close too with the way he cursed repeatedly.
That was the final stroke for your body to explode as your vision finally faded to black. You cried out his name, and Kenshi's raspy groan followed soon. It took a few seconds for both of you to finally catch a breath, sealing off an out-of-this-world sex with a sloppy kiss before finding yourself melting onto the floor in his cradle.
/
"You know it's illegal to smoke in California, right?" You stated as Kenshi flickered his lighter for the cigarette pressed to your lips.
"Laws don't scare me," He inhaled his own stick as if it was the source of oxygen, "Besides, you were the one citizen dragging me out here to have one."
It was true– you thought cigarettes were necessary to sober up. So here you were with Kenshi at the quiet parking lot at the back of the bar.
"I think laws only exist if you choose them to be. Isn't that why you're in LA as well? To steal someone's belongings?"
"That sword is rightfully mine."
His voice turned deep and possessive, but you sneered at his remark, "Man, you really are a Takahashi. You sound just as I imagine them to be."
"Well, I–" You really had seemed to stun him to a state of shock. Took him a few seconds before he gathered himself together. "So you were serious before. You do know someone."
"To be fair, there's really not a lot of Japanese running around LA looking for an ancestral sword either." You shrugged as you took another hit of nicotine, "All I did was connect the dots."
"Tell me what you know." His tone was on the edge of threatening, but you couldn't give two shits about what was going on inside his head.
"Sento, isn't it? Supposedly belonged to one of your ancestors, now it's mounted nicely at Johnny Cage's penthouse who got it through some petty auction for a few million dollars."
"What else?"
You paused for a second, contemplating if you should share the following, "I've seen it glow. Once. But Johnny didn't seem to know."
"It can't be…" He expressed disbelief, "How could you know so much about it?"
"I guess the glow intrigued me as I am a martial artist trained with swords. So I did more digging about your lineage. Honestly, I thought Takahashi had gone extinct."
Those revealed information got Kenshi thinking for a moment longer than expected, but you realized it wasn't your problem to force him to talk. This was his affair, anyway.
Then, he put out his cigarette, stood up and commanded, "Take me to Johnny Cage."
"What? I can't. We don't have any sort of relationship anymore."
"But you do know where he lives. It should be enough."
The nerve on this guy . "He lives in a pretentious household in Beverly Hills. Top-of-its-class security system. You can't possibly gain entry just by walking through."
"Are you underestimating my ability to hack a security system?"
"Say you got in, are you prepared to fight him? Because he wouldn't just hand out Sento like a piece of cookie."
Kenshi smiled pompously at your attempt to convince him to back down, "I am skilled. I can take him down."
This could be interesting– you breathe, live, drink danger like it was your oasis. The possibility of ruining a jerk of an ex's life would be a cherry on top too.
But of course, you wouldn't easily accept Kenshi's offer without some negotiations– this whole thing could get sketchy pretty quick.
"So what's in it for me?"
Kenshi fished something out of his pocket and smirked as he displayed a black lace you had known so well, "I think you'll need this back."
Oh, he was going to be insufferable after this.
"You know, I wanted you to keep it, but I see that you can't get enough of me."
"I didn't hear you complain about my performance earlier either."
Well, so much for a dine-and-dash situation you've always had a sense of familiarity with. A little more adventure wouldn't hurt, you supposed.
"Fine. You twisted my arm." You threw your hands in the air, "We gotta use my car, though. The guards would let me in."
"Seems fair." He agreed.
"It would be, once you've done something I have in mind in the backseat of my car."
"Care to elaborate?"
You thought Kenshi knew the meaning behind your secretive smile his way. You could swear you saw a mischievous grin as you turned away to unlock your car.
"A Thai bull never tells."
A/N: I’M BACKKK! Yes, I haven’t written anything for the past 3.5 years (and my last few fics were for Shokugeki no Soma) but Kenshi’s looking yummy these days. Anw, apologize if I seem rusty. Constructive criticisms are sooo welcomed!
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Oooo anyway I just remember why I Hate and Loathe the big High Lord meeting in ACOWAR and why it fully cements SJM in my Worst Authors category for like a billion reasons
1. Feyre refuses to bow to the Dawn Court. Weird choice and completely fucking awkward to read - I guess this is meant as some kind of Girlboss Moment - like "no, I won't bow to the stinky old fashioned MEN!!!! who run this world. My super hot boyfriend gave me this title and I'm the master of the universe now." But it's... childish. Also? Way to disrespect Thesan but this is going to become a pattern because of course the gay Asian High Lord has no special powers apart from super good healing that literally every other character can accomplish, and of course he's gentle, and passive (ultimately willing to "bow [to Rhysand] if the other [High Lords] will") and of course his lover has no name and never speaks. Great! Hate it.
2. Morrigan and Vivian. On paper this seems interesting as far as a relationship goes like - what kind of interesting Court relations did Night have pre Amarantha and can those bonds be salvaged? But instead of asking those questions the scene decides to immediately undercut Vivian's character as a badass general and warrior who defended Winter in her childhood friend/future husband's absence by making her squeal like a literal 13 year old when the Night Court - who is suspected of murdering 24 children - shows up. Vivian proceeds to throw a fit and snarks about wanting to be a High Lady. Rip Vivian we hardly knew ye.
3. Do I even need to talk about Helion being the worst bisexual rep. Do I even need to say it. Good lord.
4. Do I even need to talk about Fantasy China and Helion being allied with the Faerie Confederates. Do I even need to explain this. It gets worse, somehow!
5. Tamlin and Tarquin actually have a case against allying with the Night Court given literally everything that happened in the last two books but this isn't painted as reasonable distrust of a group of lying backstabbing sycophants who purposefully play up their cruelty and keep secrets from the other Courts. No, of course not. Tarquin immediately forgives the Night Court because he has no backbone whatsoever apparently. Tamlin is considered unreasonable for not trusting Feyre and Rhys, who have continuously tried to hurt him and his people and undermine his authority as High Lord.
6. Everyone immediately forgets that Rhysand worked for Amarantha for 50 years and distrusts Tamlin, who has worked for Hybern for all of five minutes and also brings tons of information on their troop movements and positions, confirming that all of his so called alliance was a fraud and he's been spying on them the whole time.
7. Literally the whole fucking deal with the Winter Court. Like I'm sorry that Rhys is so sexual traumatized by Amarantha but children fucking died in a horrible, gruesome way that now, nobody can be accountable for. This is on my top 3 of most egregious SJM retcons because I'm supposed to believe that some daemati we've never heard of before, is never mentioned or seen again, is supposedly the missing link to absolve Rhysand of the fact that he murdered 24 children in book one and devastated the Winter Court. Give me a fucking break. And Feyre gets so SAD and hurt when Rhys says he was confined to Amarantha’s bedroom, but I guess dead kids in Winter and Spring are just the price you pay for loving a morally gray bryonic hero uwu. I'd say, "Get fucked," but i think Rhys and Feyre would enjoy that too much.
8. When the Autumn Court says mean things it makes them irredeemable, but when Azriel and Feyre break all the rules of magic and physically retaliate and hurt other people, it's a-okay, and totally justified! Oh, the Lady of Autumn (another unnamed, sad silent [white] victim who only exists for Helion to angst over) gets hurt by virtue of being a bystander? Totally cool and normal, and since she's been a victim of domestic violence before, it means that she's a secret good guy who will totally understand and forgive Feyre for her totally justifiable outburst. Fuck off.
9. Feyre speaking to and ordering Azriel around like a literal rabid dog. Do I even need to explain this and why its bad. Do I even need to say it.
10. This scene was a joke and everything about it was a stinking trash fire.
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Rick and Morty S7 Ep. 4: That’s Amorte
(There is no ethical consumption under capitalism)
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Don’t read any further if you don’t want to spoiler your appetite…
My Favs
We got Morty back!
When the world was about to send out an Amber Alert on a missing kid, Morty decided to return to us! I’ve enjoyed the season so far but having Rick and Morty together is a stark reminder that the strength of this show is found in the dynamic between grandfather and grandson. Also, I love seeing Rick getting healthy and bettering himself, but I also love to see a Rick that’s amoral and a bit unhinged.
Facial animation:
I don’t know if this is due to the Irish animation studio they’re working with now, but I’ve noticed there’s a bit more diversity in the facial expressions compared to the last two or three seasons. Has anyone else noticed this?
They did a Soylent Green!
I predicted that this might have been a red herring seeing the initial clips and they might instead do something akin to the Universal Paperclip game, but a Soylent Green is what we got. Well, the idea behind the paperclip game is still on the table for next season…
Euthanasia, Cannibalism, and Suicide
Quite the trifecta of “subjects we don’t discuss in polite society,” but I admire them for taking the risk and weaving everything together well. Kinda surprised S&P let them get away with it.
“His dying wish is to see deader people so he can feel superior.”
Morty-O’s Suicide Spaghetti
“ Is this people or not people? I just need to know how much I should pretend to be upset.”
Oh, Jerry…
“They dyed their sun institutional gray.”
“Ooo gray areas. My specialty.”
Classic Rick
Kotomi’s cover of “Live Forever”
“Life itself is wrong and that means death is right. But you can’t side with that. So you live, even when it means eating.”
Not My Fav:
They could have gotten nastier.
This is my one small gripe in an episode that I think is fantastic. I’m confident there is an earlier draft out there that got so much grosser before S&P made their cuts and I demand to see that draft!
Release that nasty cut!!!
My Thoughts:
First my less serious thought, how in the hell did Rick find out that those people turned in spaghetti when they unalived themselves? My headcanon is that he has made a regular habit of impersonating a doctor on that planet because he sees doctors as nothing more than glorified mechanics, but for people. Rick knows he’s the smartest man in the universe and a proper scientist so practicing medicine would not be that much of a challenge and along the way he discovered this delicious trait about the Keplar people.
On a more serious note, there are two moments that really stood out to me. First, was when Morty broke the news of the spaghetti’s origin to the family and their reaction. They were angry and disappointed—in Morty for delivering the message rather than Rick for feeding them people-spaghetti. That spaghetti was amazing and brought everyone joy and they were more angry about losing their joy than the moral implications of consuming human flesh. Morty destroyed the illusion that they were “good” people and instead of actually being good people and refusing to eat the spaghetti, Morty created a work-around so that he and the family could still maintain the illusion.
That felt very realistic to how, dare I say, all of us have acted at some point, whether it’s the food we eat or that store that sells the jeans that fit perfectly or the online retailer that delivers anything we could possibly want the next day. Maybe, we find out someday that it’s not created in the most ethical manner and we rationalize it. We think, “ Oh, it’s not that bad.” or “ I can’t afford the more ethical option,” or "I have such few joys in my life I don't want to lose this as well.” It’s easier to uphold the illusion of being morally upright under a system that makes it exceedingly difficult to do so. But even if the capitalistic system is destroyed can we ever really be absolved? This leads to the second moment that stood out, Rick’s monologue.
“Life itself is wrong and that means death is right. But you can’t side with that. So you live, even when it means eating.”
My interpretation is that Rick is saying, “Life, by it’s very nature, is inherently unethical and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Even if the meat you eat comes from an animal that is well taken care of, killed as quickly and painlessly as possibly, and processed in a facility that treats its workers well and obeys all regulations—that animal still had to die in order to produce that meat. You’re a vegan. Plants are still living things and for many plants the process of getting food from them destroys them in the process. Millions of bacteria are destroyed every time you wash your hands. Life needs other kinds of life to end for it to keep going, but humans are the only creatures that are aware of this fact so we create arbitrary categories around which types of life are okay to destroy (categories we can’t all agree on) in order to maintain the illusion of morality.
This episode does not have a feel-good message among the jokes and absurd characters and I appreciate that. This one got my brain a-churnin’ and I’m sure I read way too much into this episode but I couldn’t help myself.
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Saudade (Yandere!Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Reader)
A/n: it has been 500 years since I turned off my brain and wrote something out of pure passion lmao dimitri my beloved &lt;333
Unreliable Synopsis: Circumstances won't allow you to be around the crown prince of Faerghus' side, and it wasn't as if you want to be near him either after allying with House Gloucester. Besides, if there was one person you want from your past back, who else would it be other than your old womanizer best friend? (Cw: yandere themes, violence, war)
commissioned by: @poptartsthings (holy sht thank you for making my first commission to be dimitri fic aaAAHHHHH--)
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“You should just send them your letter– say that you’re sorry.”
"Uhuh, but what if he doesn't remember me anymore, Raph?"
"Well," Raphael placed both his hands behind his head, lolling back as he reeled a fish in. "There’s just no way. Based on your stories, I think he’s in love with you, (Y/n). You can't just ignore him forever, ya know?"
You raised an eyebrow, "yes, I can. It's not like there are tons of situations where I need to interact with the crown prince."
"Okay, true... But maaaaaybe you can try eating lunch with him!" Raphael brushed against your shoulder "There's nothing that can get people to open up like a good meal together. Maybe you can steal a seat– oh, and sneak in his favorites on his plate too."
You chuckled softly, "I think that method only works on you, Raph."
"Nonsense!" He said, shaking his head earnestly. "It also works on my baby sister!"
You snorted.
Your housemates are endearing. Truthfully, you never would have expected that it's comfortable in the Golden Deer. Your heart desired to become a Blue Lions graduate like your parents, but familial circumstances or lack-there-of forbade any opportunity. Had life been easier on you, your dorm wall would've sported your family’s blue flag.
And not Gloucester’s.
Since your parents perished in what is now known as the “Tragedy of Duscur”, Count Gloucester assumed responsibility of being your legal guardian. Your parents had always thought of Lorenz’s father as a close ally. Plus, this arrangement was better than living up the frigid north with estranged minor noble relatives who gave you an even more colder shoulder.
However, thread any less carefully around the Alliance, and you might find yourself under his conservatorship forever. You just have to thank the Blue Sea Star that you didn’t bore a crest lest you’d be engaged to Lorenz. Uncle Erwin is a wonderful father to him and he doesn’t treat you with malice either— but of course, he keeps an eye open to morally gray opportunities to exploit your title.
And that includes listing your name amongst the Golden Deers.
At first, you were hesitant in showing that you're an “outlier” in class, but it seems you fit the mold quite easily. Too easily. Not because you had been accustomed to their social norms, it is more like the fawns are oddballs themselves. The youngest was an enchantment waiting to explode, your largest was a total muscle-head, the house leader has a screw loose when it comes to strategic retreat and poisoning, and the rest are just as eccentric.
No one cares if you told them you have an affinity for theater here, and spoilers: they really did not give a damn. Except for maybe when Ignatz genuinely went "oh, that sounds wonderful, (Y/n)!" before the conversation digressed about Leonie's mismatched socks she bought on the market.
Oh, but Raphael and Claude did care when they found out that you might've had a long but faded friendship with at least four of the Blue Lions. Compared to Claude, you trust that Raphael comes from a good place whenever he brings them up. Since he and Ignatz were childhood friends who slowly grew apart, he has your best intentions whenever he suggests something that could reignite your relationship with either Sylvain, Felix, Ingrid, or Prince Dimitri.
Claude, on the other hand…
The house leader first emerged as a shadow, then he sat down and squeezed between you and Raphael, with his arm encircled around your waist. Claude's apparent lack of etiquette went unmentioned by either of you (you suspect Claude is part-Almyran), but you do intend to ignore him later like your "foster brother" does.
"Trading secrets about Prince Dimitri, are we? Won't ya invite poor me along in your little secret meeting?”
You sighed tiredly, "Claude–"
"I was just kidding. No need to give me that face," Claude raised his arms defensively. “My lips are sealed— I never heard a single word between you two, promise.”
The deers were a little leery of your prior association with the crown prince of Faerghus. Claude, who frequently pries into everyone's private affairs, persistently diverted your focus to the Lions. In fact, he once burned your favorite book to forcibly draw your attention to the library so that you'll share the same room with Dimitri. Talk about extremes, really.
But you did notice that there's something off about Claude this time.
“So what brings you here? There’s no way you’ve come here to fish.”
“Yeah, no…” He cringed. “I’d rather do the eating part.”
“Haha, you get it, Claude!” Raphael said before the two men shared a crisp high-five.
Ah, these fawns…
You sighed, “can we skip to the part where you explain why you’re sitting beside me right now?”
“Sure. Leonie wanted me to tell you that Lysithea told her that Lorenz was told by Prof—”
“Do you not know the meaning of “skip”, Riegan?”
“Nah, course I do,” Claude smirked. “It’s just fun to tease people who live in House Gloucester.”
“Sothis, have mercy.”
“As I was saying, Lorenz was told by Professor Byleth to tell you that Sylvain is now part of the Golden Deer.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“… What?”
There was no dramatic gasp. Nothing sensational or derogatory comment was elicited from impetuous lips. You simply blinked and said the words "what? as if it were a simple joke. Claude needn’t explain that those were facts. Based on how he approached with worry written on his face that he failed to hide from you, he wasn't jesting.
You're reluctant to speak with Sylvain. You last spoke to him in earnest four years ago. Don't get it twisted, you do want to get back in touch with that philanderer's good graces, but where would you even start?
Dear Sylvain, I’m sorry for ignoring your letters? Dear Sylvain, I’ll reimburse you for all the theater tickets you gifted before without my consent? Dear Sylvain, I’m a garbage best friend?
… Knowing him, he’d likely frame that letter with careful preservation while the ink from his heaps of love letters faded inside his shelf collection. If you were to send similar letters to the other two, Felix would train to become a mortal savant and burn the letter out of spite, and Ingrid would have simply torn them up.
“WOAH!!!”
Raphael's chest caught your attention for a brief moment, and you quickly avoided him, concerned that those wooden buttons will suddenly protrude into your eyes. Your housemate captured the fish without even feeling his buttons tear apart from his outfit.
Goddess Messenger.
That’s quite an expensive catch right there.
But it felt like an omen for something.
“… I’m heading back to my dorm room.”
“Want us to go with you?” Raphael offered, but he reeked of fish.
“No, I’ll head there alone.”
Claude tilted his head, “Sylvain is probably there, you know.”
“I know,” you nodded. “But I’m tired.”
“I just can’t run away from the lions anymore.”
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You should’ve taken your words literally.
Instead, the phrase "I need to get over this, fast" resonated in your thoughts, and you bolted as soon as the impulse to settle everything fueled your anxiety. You should have cared if someone got in your way, but you didn't.
“Ngh—” you flinched, bumping into someone’s back. “Whoops— sorry about that—”
You froze as you looked up.
Great. Just your luck.
“… What is there to be forgiven, (Y/n)?”
And of course, he called you by your first name. Your arguments against Raphael were demonstrably false. A futile hoax. Why even try to imagine that he might have forgotten about you?
Dimitri smiled softly, his eyes crinkling in delight. You gulped shakily.
After all, how can the crown prince ever forget his first love?
Now that you took a good look, his hair was much shorter than how it used to be and he grew positively taller. It’s a haircut you took a while to get used to, especially since you recalled how his hair used to hover near his shoulder. Not that you didn’t know about any of this information already. It’s just that you had to reassess those facts after seeing him up close. Perhaps a bit too close for comfort.
If only your last memories with him were as pleasant as his face.
He wanted you as his consort, but you had nothing to offer him. No land, no worthy title befitting for a king’s spouse, and no true inheritance in your arsenal at age 15. But when one has less to lose, they become more introspective. While clinging to Sothis' statue and pleading for life, they gain wisdom. Unlike the prince, you were not naive to what could befall the kingdom if you were to marry him. Instead, you sought asylum by knocking on Uncle Erwin’s door with the few loyal servants to House (L/n) left, and he accepted your offer after days of consideration.
His name will be tarnished as a young traumatized prince who copes by spoiling a love unrequited. But most of all? The loss of his friends and family would’ve developed his separation anxiety towards you more if you stayed.
The prince was something of a doormat teenager. He begged and nearly cried when you had accidentally slipped out that you’ll be allying with House Gloucester– but stopped his outburst the moment you chewed him out with hurtful phrases. Dimitri clung onto you like an affectionate pup and if his childhood self could latch on for the rest of his life, he would in a heartbeat. Perhaps it was the side-effect of being his first friend. He had always been a genuinely kind person, but he was always so caught up in whatever happened in the past.
Was it rational or heartless to leave him and the rest of your companions behind? Likely both, if you were to ask El.
That doesn't mean you don't occasionally catch a glimpse of him at the officer's academy. It's hilarious how, after Dedue performed his duties as a vassal, Dimitri now had to cope with a situation that was identical to yours. A "protector" so dependent… it was as though you were watching the prince try on your shoes. Your “you don’t have to shield me every time we go to the training grounds” line became His Highness’ catchphrase towards his retainer. And you’re not sure what to feel about that.
Was it comedy or plain karma? Likely both, if you were to ask Claude.
“Good evening, Your Highness,” you bowed. There would’ve been more eyes on you inside the cafeteria if you hadn’t. Gossips of lese-majeste would’ve stirred even Lindhart awake. “Do you require something from me?”
Formal.
Too formal for him, but not formal enough for you.
Dimitri's brows wrinkled, and you briefly saw his lip tremble. His hands were behind his back, and one of them was discreetly and firmly gripping his wrist. That man had a pained, speechless expression on his face, and you don't hold him responsible when words fall short.
But when words do fail, you wished he could just stop talking whenever he feels overwhelmed.
“I…”
I miss you. So much.
You didn’t need to hear it to know what he wanted to say.
Princess Edelgard was right, Dimitri is wholly predictable.
He cleared his throat, ears turning red.
“It had been so long since we had last spoken, has it not?”
“It has.”
“Around 4 years, so I'd say.”
“Hmm. So it has,” you doubt he noticed how your words were curt and redundant, since he's too busy trying not to melt. “So it has.”
“Are you enjoying the Golden Deer house, s-so far?” Dimitri manufactured a smile. “I’ve heard you and Lorenz made for a wonderful tag team at the last House Tournament.”
Bullshit.
He didn’t just “hear” about it.
You saw him cheer for you giddily in that tournament.
There is nothing he can conceal from you. If he were as cunning as Claude, it might take you some time to discover who was responsible for leaving sloppy, "anonymous" love letters inside your dorm. There were also petals tucked inside. Pink camellias, a sign of longing.
“It’s a feat not worthy of your praise, your Highness.”
Seriously, you don’t want to hear him flatter you anymore.
“Simply untrue,” he shook his head earnestly. “I’ve also heard that—… Y… You are fond of Raphael. As a friend— of course. It’s relieving to know that you have many companions from different walks of life— which is to say, I approve of whoever you talk to, but—”
You’re not deaf. You noticed how much his words were about your relations with others. There’s no other interpretation to this other than jealousy.
Still, his face was red. He must be too caught up in the joy of talking to you that he didn’t care for how envious his words sounded. You laughed curtly. You want to remind him the reason why you left, but you can’t explain a thing despite desperately wanting to, just like him.  
Dimitri wants you back, so much so that he's stuttering in every sentence.
But you didn’t reply to his ramblings. Save for the cafeteria hall’s chatter, it was silent. You’ve long accepted in your heart that your family is dead and you ought to coast forward. 
And there’s no future where you will cut through a path beside Dimitri. 
Besides, House (L/n) had histories of trading tactics with Leicester, and you cannot discount how people refer to your blood as sheeple with its loyalty. It’s a double-edged sword, one you’d utilize well if you close your eyes right now and ignored the heartbreak and yearning in his eyes.
And so, you closed your eyes.
“My apologies, I’m in a hurry so I’m afraid I have to get going. Farewell, Your Highness.”
Dimitri's eyes widened, trying to reach for your arm.
“(Y/n), please wait–”
But you were already gone.
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“Hey there, (N/n)!”
It was only when you heard a familiar voice did you open your eyes again.
An attractive and familiar young man lazily leaned on one hand on your door, completely blocking your dorm room. “Are you gonna talk to me now, or are you just going to ignore me for the rest of the school year?”
He’s here.
You steeled yourself.
“Gautier…” You exhaled.
“Oof, “Gautier”, they said,” he frowned. “Not a single “I miss you, Sylvain”? No “gosh, sorry I didn’t talk to you for so long, I was just too shy to admit that I was wrong!”?”
You chuckled nervously.
“Perceptive as ever, I see.” But you weren’t wrong. Becoming a Golden Deer was the right path for you.
“Not perceptive, but hopeful really,” Sylvain shrugged. “Based on that reply, I’m glad my wishful thinking was spot on. You do miss me.”
“I do, but I now just realized I’m not prepared for this conversation,” you said, surprised by your upfront and composed anxiety. That talk with Dimitri seriously drained all the energy you garnered earlier. “Can we do this later?”
“No can do. I shall allow you passage if thee speaks from the heart,” he teased with his signature ladykiller grin. “Go on, say it~”
You sighed, burlesquely exasperated.
The two of you adore theater, so talks like these were commonplace. He’d mask his flaws when confessing sins in this manner, but you prefer to hear his real justifications. In any case, this is just another conquest for him to gad off and hunt some girls in another house— and your new professor is undoubtedly a sight to behold.
“Oh, Sylvain, mine dear friend, thou art missed for nearly half a decade, but mine fear did not condone myself to reach out.”
Like two birds of a feather, you also similarly mask your sentimentality.
Funny how you can easily say you miss Sylvain, but not Dimitri.
Sylvain smiled. Genuinely, this time.
“Good.”
The resolution was surprisingly fast. You were willing to bet you both anticipated a serious confrontation– a meeting that feels like a long-awaited class reunion after a war or so. But no.
The two of you are still flawed yet perceptive idiots after 4 years of not talking.
You both laughed in unison.
What were you worrying about anyway? You knew that at this point if Sylvain was angry at you for leaving, he should have grown tired of that emotion.
His primary grudge had always been the crest system, not you.
You should've had this talk earlier, he's the only one in the Blue Lions you were sure won't blame a crestless noble like you for those circumstances.
“Now move, Gautier.”
He stepped aside smugly.
You opened your mouth in surprised indignation.
“Why does my room look clean?”
“I had Mercedes help me clean it up the moment I took a look inside. Seriously, I can’t believe you managed to live in a complete pigsty—”
“It’s like you want to sour our reestablished friendship in under 5 minutes, Sylvie.”
“...”
“What? Too old to be called Sylvie nowadays?”
“No, keep calling me that,”
Sylvain never stopped smiling.
“Oh, and by the way? I miss you too, (N/n).”
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“… There you are.”
As soon as Sylvain left the hall to your dorm, he was greeted by the sight of the crown prince lingering in front of the stairways. Unlike Sylvain, he was not leaning on anything while waiting. The prince stood straight, dignified.
Then again, Sylvain knew his royal motivations lie in jealousy— and that’s far from “dignified.”
Sylvain can tell from his stiff stance that Claude was particularly touchy-feely earlier, which was exactly why he requested Lorenz to relay the message instead rather than the house leader. His Highness must’ve seen how close you sat beside Raphael and then Claude. The Golden Deer's leader knew Dimitri was obsessed with you— he probably intended to provoke him for the upcoming Battle of Eagle and Lion. It didn't help that Dimitri had his eyes on you, always. If not him, then Dedue.
Not that Claude's scheme will work. Dimitri was satisfied just to see you smile, even when it pains him to acknowledge that it wasn’t for him or because of him.
Sylvain is an exception to that rule.
Dimitri had a cold glint in his azure eyes, but his gaze all but glared at Sylvain. He had a smidgen of control, for now. But it’s not long until what Sylvain had prophesied about the crown prince quipping a remark or two about staying away from you will occur.
“Waiting for me to explain my random decision, I’m guessing?”
“Oh, I simply liked standing here but sure, Sylvain! I’d dearly love to know the rational thought behind switching houses out of the blue. It is not as if Felix and Ingrid were worried about you,” Dimitri generously gave his princely smile.
Sometimes, Sylvain forgets it was physically possible for someone so austere with himself like Dimitri to say something laced with malicious sarcasm. But Sylvain knew Dimitri stood there because he was still worried about his friend, even when he pretends to be unbothered.
Like bread and butter, Dimitri and forced positivism complement each other disastrously well. The Blue Lions often caught him murmuring things like "I'm delighted (Y/n) is making new friends" or "I hope Claude continues to treat them well" despite having a glum expression on his face, obviously bottling up his envy. Felix finds it as easy as breathing to call him out on this behavior: "Why bother stalking them when you can't handle the envy you feel when they hugged Lorenz or held hands with Marianne? ”
His Highness never answered that question. He thinks had kept his feral thoughts at bay most of the time and will continue to do so.
Still… Raphael, Claude, and then Sylvain… Dimitri can’t catch a break.
Why do all these men keep approaching you?
Will you never recognize the perpetual anguish that befall him the moment you didn't reach for his hand and took Count Gloucester's that day? Have you no sympathy for the man that promised your protection— for the boy you trained and sneaked out when you thought the king wasn't looking? Whenever he wakes up the following morning without you, do you not experience the same emptiness and loneliness that he does?
Was it because he is a "troubled prince" nowadays?
Was it because he couldn't taste anything anymore?
Why did you eat saghert and cream with Ignatz instead of him at the cafeteria?
Why did these men have to ruin the one taste he can recall?
He lies awake every night to the sound of phantom screams from fallen soldiers, friends, and family against his hand-covered ears.
But you were his solace. His “God/dess”.
And just like with the Goddess Sothis, he lacked the means to grasp your hand...
If only his cold hands could wring those men's necks as well...
“... Do you really want to know, Your Highness?”
It took Dimitri a while before he snapped out of his trance. His voice dipped low, his breathing uneasy, and his eyes lacked focus.
Sylvain looked at him with pity Dimitri wished you spared him instead.
“Yes,” he exhaled. “It shall help our friends put their minds at ease.”
“Well, well, you're sure it's not because you'll miss me?”
“Sylvain.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll tell you,” Sylvain dreamily gazed up at the sky and boldly proclaimed:
“The new professor was hot.”
“Sylvain!—”
“Calm down, Your Highness! That was just a joke.”
Unlikely.
“I joined because (Y/n) is there.”
Dimitri froze.
The meaning behind those words could either be tolerable or impermissible enough to make the prince push Sylvain to the training grounds without remorse.
Sylvain’s not going to try and suddenly woo you now, will he?
You did grow more gorgeous after four years after all…
But Sylvain can't have you— Dimitri might just lose it. Out of everyone on campus, he refuses to let an adamant skirt-chaser take you.
“… Elaborate.”
“Elaborate? What’s there to elaborate?” Sylvain crossed his arms behind his back, now back to his laissez-faire attitude in life. He cackled to himself, absolutely unrepentant. “Is it bad that I want to reunite with an old friend? You know, before they were your friend, they were mine. Don’t forget that we’re both older than you, Dimitri.”
Multiple considerations led to why Sylvain chose to frolic with the deers rather than squander the school year at the lion’s den. One of these includes avoiding Ingrid’s nagging— he can’t be bothered having a pegasus pecking around while he galavants with (unfortunate) women.
But most of it boiled down to reunite with the one platonic relationship he missed.
Sylvain became Dimitri’s ally through you. Had you not approached Sylvain and Dimitri during one of King Lambert’s birthday celebrations, they wouldn’t have initiated a friendship through a children’s version of a bergamot tea party away from drunken nobility. More opportunities to befriend the prince would’ve likely presented themselves through Ingrid and Felix, but that memory of tiny cups and tea-stained shoes was special because it had you.
Because you were smart and kind enough to drag Sylvain out of his older brother’s schemes of public humiliation under the guise of being “invited” to an audience with royalty.
You were more of a sibling than Miklan ever was.
“By two years,” Dimitri stressed. “You’re only older than me by two years.”
“Your point? Doesn’t change the fact that compared to most students this year, we’re one of the older ones.”
He bit his bottom lip.
Age was one of Dimitri’s insecurities. It cannot be helped— if he were only older, people would’ve listened to his testimony for the people of Duscur more seriously— if he were only older, he would’ve had control over his uncle—
Dimitri’s knuckles grew white underneath his gloves.
If he were only older, then maybe you would’ve stayed by his side.
“What a lark. Are you attempting to compete on who had a better relationship with (Y/n)?”
“No, Your Highness, YOU are.”
Dimitri’s eyes widened. He hadn’t realized that those pointed words he spoke aimed towards himself like a misthrown javelin.
"Let’s be honest, Your Highness. I’m saying this as a friend, but you could be a bit tone-deaf and insufferable around them,” Sylvain deadpanned. “You had some serious attachment issues and you never listen when they tell you to stop with all those creepy comments about protecting them forever.”
“Is… Is that so?”
Dimitri muttered to himself while looking at his shoes, sounding almost broken. He had doubts, but Sylvain’s words practically cemented that you’d be unwilling to spend time with him again.
“Besides, if this were a competition, you lost the moment I waited at their dorm.”
The prince’s head snapped back up like a confused puppy.
“Why is that?”
What a horrible thing to ask.
“Because (Y/n) just told me that they missed me,” Sylvain smirked.
“And if you were there, you could’ve heard them call me Sylvie too, just like the good old days.”
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Since that talk with Sylvain, Dimitri wanted to make you as lonely as him.
Oh, how he badly wanted to whisk you away from that house– oh just how much he wished he could force you to wear his cape– to wear the color of the lions.
But none of that matters now.
You look prettier when doused in splattered red.
The soil sipped the blood that drained from Ignatz's head. It reminded you of the time you asked the painter if he could use blood as a dye. If he were to watch this scene, he would've waxed poetic about how he will be simply returning his life to the earth, but the beauty of death is lost on you. The gravity of war weighed far more than the theatrics of what-he-would've-spoken.
It’s been five years since the war started.
You had lost your voice two years ago the moment Dimitri kidnapped you on your expedition to Garreg Mach— you’ve mistaken him for a bandit and in a blind rage, he dealt a massive blow to your neck. Dimitri didn’t mind that you had lost your ability to speak he seemed to relish that you’re similarly deformed. He romanticized both your disabilities often. A “God/dess” who couldn’t speak and a “boar” who couldn’t quite see. What a royal pair indeed…
You can’t say your prayers now, but you hoped thinking about praying for Ignatz was enough…
Ignatz should've turned 22 this year. Based on the way he last behaved, he didn't seem prepared for this war and had been misplaced by Professor Byleth.
You’ll never be able to eat saghert and cream with him again.
You can't remember what tactic you used in this battle. Was it Felix who was assigned to stick ten feet away from you who had slain Ignatz? Or was it Ingrid who rode her pegasus to stab the sniper in a suicidal fashion?
This entire battle is a blur. You can no longer stand straight and aim your sword reluctantly toward anyone.
Why can't everything go back to how it was before? Why can't you just fish at the Great Bridge of Myrddin with Uncle Erwin again?
You wobbled down the grass as a wyvern obstructed your view with its proud albino scales cruising the sky. Claude sits atop, his face stony through a nearly unrecognizable expression of placid anger. His emerald eyes inevitably met yours.
You didn't stand with your sword supporting you, and he didn't draw his bow either. Instead, before leaving to find the bright red target everyone called an "Emperor", Claude mouthed words that only you two could understand. You uttered nothing in response. Even if Claude were to succeed, his scheme would be futile.
Sylvain can’t save you from Dimitri.
Like a fairytale, it begins and ends with the crown prince. It always had.
But if Dimitri was the protagonist of this story, then pray tell, what does that make you?
A damsel in distress?
The king's court jester?
All you ever wanted was for House (L/n) to survive, to preserve your family name and dwindling territory against House Charon. You desired the opportunity to emulate your father. A fearless front-liner and a skilled tactician.
However, you have not taken any real action to end this war. You moved like a weak infantry, unable to maintain balance on one leg or call out for upcoming danger.
You just can’t run away from the lions anymore.
"Get up."
You couldn't move, mortified.
His Highness is back.
"I said GET UP!!!"
His iron-like hands yanked your hair up, and you felt some of it weeded out by his sheer brute force. You wept immediately but held back tears. Despite your commitment to keeping your composure, he had torn away what little hold you had left on what you call "stability." Your knees shook as his tall figure began to drag you away. Each step felt more jagged than the last. Your heart beat erratically as you worried about toppling down– and when you inevitably did, he was there to pick you up.
For Dimitri, this situation was advantageous. Most Golden Deers are here, which meant he had opportunities to route them all. He had already stabbed Ignatz, incessantly. Each draw of his lance— each crack of the artist’s glasses and bones— rejuvenated whatever youth war had stolen from him. The future king of lions couldn’t stop grinning maniacally as his eyes lay upon a deer’s corpse. It was as if his sense of taste was coming back. All of his soldiers and classmates were too terrified to stop his senseless slaughter. If Gustave did not scold him about the oncoming army, he would’ve continued damaging the corpse senselessly.
But it’s only a matter of time until he shoots for the leader of the herd as well.
He still hasn’t forgiven him for using his beloved against him back at the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. This was the perfect opportunity for revenge. Once they’re out of the picture, then it’s only Edelgard left who he had to worry about— but until then, he’ll have to take the deers’ lives for stealing his beloved away.
Shame that Lorenz had yet to be found.
"Tch. Fool."
He cradled you like a bride but gripped your jaw like a hostage. Dimitri's current appearance is much too different from what he used to be. Sweat and blood had greased up his unruly hair, and the blue cloak that was slung over his shoulders was much dirtier.
"I command you to eat."
It was almost sweet. Almost kind when his voice softened for just a millisecond. Almost touching how his one eye gazed upon your sunken features with disdain.
But your appreciation for it all vanished the moment he robbed something from Ignatz's corpse.
"Eat."
He shoved onto you Ignatz's last bloody loaf of bread. It was hard, yet soaked.
Your throat couldn't express how terrified you were upon holding it.
"Gone deaf as well, have we?"
He pushed the bread closer to your chest, effectively crushing it against you. Dimitri breathed against your ear.
"I SAID: EAT.”
Your tears and Ignatz's blood salted your food.
The bread tasted just like the ones Raphael's family had in their inn.
Ignatz… He probably got this from Raphael… Which means he's in Gronder as well…
You sobbed as you took a feeble bite.
Please… Please be safe, Raphael.
Dimitri saw your struggle. He saw your continued concern for those who were after his life and yours. Why do you spare sympathy for the bodies that got in the way between you and him? They did not warrant those tears. The weak must fall— even he too will join them someday.
And so, Dimitri closed his eye.
You’ve gone fragile in his arms, and that was not spoken in a romantic sense. He had fractured your right leg enough to make you use your sword as a cane, yet he insists on dragging you in combat. Time and time again, he forces you to witness what he is capable of and more till you’re unable to write complaints.
Dimitri wanted to reassure you that you’re on the right side of history.
That you can cut a path beside him— you just weren’t trying hard enough before.
And it was a challenge the prince can’t easily scale. You never showed your appreciation for longer than a minute. When he learned how to dance begrudgingly with El after she had poisoned him with thoughts that he could use her teachings someday to dance with you— you dared to ask Sylvain out during the White Heron Cup. When he tried to give you a more fancy dagger as well during El’s parting, you admired Sylvain’s coincidental parcel of theater tickets and tea leaves instead.
Sylvain, Sylvain, Sylvain—
It was always Sylvain.
His entire body shook from laughter. You shriveled in fear as his voice echoed throughout the battlefield.
The beast put you down underneath a tree's shade that he deemed as safe.
… and kissed your forehead.
“I can see him approaching us.”
Dimitri cooed mockingly.
“Shall I decapitate and mount that filthy rat's head on a silver plate?”
You didn’t need to hear him utter his name to know he was referring to Sylvain. It was tempting to challenge him on how he could say such a thing about someone who had once been a friend, but that inquiry wouldn't help. Dimitri cupped your face and wiped your tears away with his rough and heavy hands. You flinch so easily nowadays.
How adorable.
Five years ago, you won't move a muscle whenever he kissed your forehead good night.
Five years ago, he worried about accidentally waking you up and exposing himself for breaking into your dorm so often just to drop his unhinged love letters.
Five years ago, watching you rest allowed moments of respite.
However, it didn’t invigorate him as much as your tears did now.
“Fret not, my fellow monster, I shall fetch it for you,”
He tightened his grip on his areadbhar, scanning the right field. The lance's crest stone glowed, and there was no looking back after that.
You’re here now, and he will NEVER let you leave. He won’t have a repeat of what had occurred when Count Gloucester was present around nine years ago or so. He’ll protect you this time, and it no longer mattered to him if he were a corpse or a monster in your eyes. It mattered not that he no longer slept. He intends to keep you alive and by his side, just like what he had promised in his childhood.
You can't even begin to imagine how much being away from you ruined him.
He had reached the point where he will kill everyone that tried to touch you, and he won’t have someone else do it, too.
Was this love or obsession? Likely both, if you were to ask Lady Rhea.
But what does Rhea know about Dimitri’s mental state anyways? She’s been missing for years now, she might as well be dead to you.
Without thinking, you grabbed his cloak. He patted your head but his eyes were locked on the cavalry unit from afar, and the dark and sinister smirk on his face solidified your fears.
Sylvain approached faster, and you did your best not to cry.
If he dares to fight Dimitri in the state he is now, then he might as well be a dead man walking too.
You wished you didn’t have to join the Golden Deer house— you wished Sylvain didn’t follow suit— and you wish you didn’t leave Sylvain behind. You did not doubt that if it hadn’t been for you, Dimitri would have concentrated only on Edelgard and joined forces with Claude to eliminate her. It would have given this historical period a more coordinated scheme. History won’t have to remember you as the catalyst that made things worse.
"(N/n)!"
You heard Sylvain yell from behind Dimitri, which only made your heart ache more.
It's been years since you last heard his voice again.
Dimitri took your warm hands and brushed his cheek against it, no matter how obvious it was that your eyes yearned for someone else’s touch.
He looked at you with such a soft gaze that you nearly forgot the monster he had become.
“Once we hang his head on our bedroom wall, you have no right to complain about missing “Sylvie” ever again, my beloved.”
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ddaroll · 1 year
Text
To be honest, I feel uncomfortable that Transformers fandom has a tendency to want Optimus only to be morally flawless.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you have to love all OP.
I fully understand with all my respect if you only want that kind of Optimus who is morally flawless.
The problem is the overcriticism of him who does not fit that standards of fandom.
Optimus is like the icon of Transformers. so he's in everyone's head like a soup with the images of all continuities rather than being thought of separately in each universes.
And if some Optimus in a particular continuity is being morally gray or making bad choices, people simply just read the wiki or read posts about that or ignore about the context why he made such choices then overcriticize him with confidence like he's the only one who's done wrong/bad things in the story.
And that's… that's just so weird. I've seen so many posts that overcriticizing him and getting self-righteous. They seem to feel themselves like… morally neat when they criticize Optimus. "I'm a very smart and analytical person who can spot these flaws even this overrated moral icon character!"
and... idk why but they are also obsessed with collecting Optimus' little faults and saying that Optimus should beg Megatron for forgiveness for THAT.
It's really weird considering Megatron also has done so many wrong things and they're always throwing same shits at each other in stories, but beyond that, above all, THEY ARE ALREADY PAST THAT STAGE!!
The two are no longer care about minor disputes in the past!!!
Megatron just wants to make Optimus know that his way is wrong, you little blind idealist, and Optimus is like "please just stop that madness and genocide and colonization. Universe hates us for this."
Do you really think that if Optimus apologizes to Megatron for the little things he did wrong in the past, the war will end just magically? AND DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT OPTIMUS NEVER TRIED SUCH THINGS DURING THE WAR?
I mean, if you really love and understand Optimus Prime, you should know that Optimus would have tried all the nonviolent ways to end the war arleady!
The initial feud between the two is no longer a matter now!The war between of them is now nothing but a huge ideological conflict!!
They are just divorced old men with a long history, not a fresh couple just started meeting each other!!!!!!
I just can't understand unless they enjoy criticizing the character who is considered as a moral icon to self-righteous themselves. I would fully understand if they criticize other characters equally, but no, they always have a huge double standard just for Optimus.
if they are all just nothing but Optimus haters, I still don't like it, but I could understand but this is also actually happening in Optimus fandom. Please show some love for him. at least don't try to prove your morality through him. please.
Oh I just read through what I wrote and I can see my anger is being expressed like a gradation LMAO I'm so sorry lol
anyway, so, yeah, please just see him as the same way like when you see the other common characters.
If you don't think of him as an overrated moral icon, or someone who should always be right, or a vessel of some kind of old ideologies (somehow people think that objectively correct ideologies are boring and outdated), but a person, you can enjoy the Transformers stories so much deeper. a low understanding of him will prevent you from enjoying thoes stories a lot. Like those ppl who blame Optimus just for cooperating with Ghost, without thinking about the consequences of not cooperating with them.
btw, the reason why I deleted my old tumblr was largely because of this. Back then, IDW Megatron was showing his redemption arc, and IDW Optimus was making mistakes to keep the peace he had barely achieved. and… yeah, I think you would know what was happend in Tumblr at the time. I left the fandom for 4 years because of that. The funny thing is, I didn't even know I was in love with Optimus until then. Anyone who knew me at that time would know how crazy I was about MTMTE lol
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calzone-d · 8 months
Note
"breaking down mid-hug because they just needed this so much" with Jason please!!!
oh really?
love bringing up the angst and scandals. who cares if some of this isn’t 100% accurate let me be delusional.
read more here!
tw: olivia, cheating, mentions of failed marriage, mentions of divorce
you’d heard it from jason before you’d seen the pictures. olivia had chunked their marriage away for harry styles. she’d spent plenty of time with him on her movie set, and while you knew she was kind of a spoiled brat with jason, you never thought she’d actually cheat.
by the time he’d arrived at your house with the kids, you already had your spare room set up. the kids looked happy as ever, completely oblivious to the situation.
jason, on the other hand, didn’t look too well. his phone kept a buzzing and ringing from all the calls and texts from her. it wasn’t easy to hide the disgust in his voice when he took her call in the next room.
you took the kids grocery shopping to give him space to cool down, and they were over the moon for a sleepover at your place.
jason seemed a lot more calm once you’d all returned. the kids wanted to spend the evening watching tv on your back patio, so you let them have fun while you tried your best to comfort jason.
“i just…really? i mean, fuck! we had a fucking family. what did i do that was so fucking wrong?”
“jase, you didn’t do a thing and you know that.”
“i knew things were getting rocky, but i didn’t think it was because she was fucking some kid!”
he rubbed his hands over his face and took in a shuddery breath. when his hands stayed on his face for a moment, you stepped towards where he was sitting on one of your barstools. you slid an arm around his shoulders and one on the back of his neck, holding him to you.
the way he squeezed you made it seem like he hadn’t been held in forever.
“s’feels so good..”, he relaxed in your arms.
after a few seconds you felt him began to shake, and heard him sniffling. his tears soaked the shoulder of your t-shirt and it was warm against your skin.
“should’ve left her years ago.. just tried stayin’ and acting like things were good so otis would be happy growin’ up, you know?”
you nodded and rested your cheek on the top of his head while your fingers stroked at his back through his shirt.
“he was, hun. still is.. you’re the best dad to those kids, don’t let her mistakes make you doubt that..”
his arms had found their way around your waist and he held you tightly to him. “that’s the thing, she doesn’t think it was a mistake! she thinks that it was totally justifiable! but i can’t even take a 10 minute phone call from you, o-or bring the kids over without being called a cheater!”
you just held him tight while he let it all out. this had clearly been pent up for a while.
“and as soon as I got the balls to leave, she ditches the birth control and fuckin’ gets pregnant with daisy. i didn’t even know she’d quit! which, i’m not saying i wish she wouldn’t, that’s my baby girl. it just felt so convenient for her.. she knew i’d reached my limit with her. all she ever wanted was a girl. gives otis the cold shoulder half the time just to spoil dais.. i wouldn’t change a thing but i wish she just had better fuckin’ morals, or.. or something.”
you sighed against his head. “there’s not too much you can do about that, other than just keep being the best dad like you have been.. when they get older they’ll realize how much time and care you put into them. deservedly so… they’re great fuckin’ kids, jase.”
he let out a huff that somewhat sounded like a chuckle.
“i just don’t know what the fuck to do now..”
“look, you guys can all stay here tonight. for as long as you need, you know that.”
he nodded against you.
no other words were spoken as your hand moved from the back of his neck up into his hair. he relaxed even more at the feeling of you twisting his graying locks through your fingers. after a few seconds you softly pressed a kiss to his temple, and that’s when the dam broke.
he let out a soft whimper into the fabric of your shirt and squeezed your waist when you muttered, “oh, hun..” and held him closer.
jason began crying as you held him and shushed him.
“did- did i say something? i didn’t mean to-“
“no! no.. just.. feels good havin’ you close again. s’been too long.. jus’ needed this.”
you couldn’t find the words to tell him you felt the same, but when he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder that was now damp from his tears, you knew that he knew.
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Any advice on how to write overprotective giants or other large monstrosities? How do I make them strongly morally gray, know when to limit the dehumanization and adoration of tiny person of interest, and how the giant seems to believe they are in the right with detaining a tiny person? Asking for a friend! Definitely not me, a lurker questioning if I should start writing on tumblr or any other writing websites....
Ooooh, fun!!
It definitely all boils down to what your giant views their brand new tiny as and whether or not they can understand each other. You can take Edix and Jacob, for example, where Edix solely sees Jacob as a pet which is heightened by the fact Jacob cannot verbally stand up for himself to disprove that. Of course Edix loves him and would never intentionally hurt him, but that love is only as strong as that for a puppy at best. It's pure adoration at the cost of being a plaything and because Edix assumes that Jacob is so weak and helpless, he fully believes he's in the right to do whatever he feels is necessary to protect him.
Comparatively, you have Ben and Milo, who can perfectly understand each other and have a tentative parent-child relationship. The problem is that Ben doesn't know how to be a legit parent, especially to something so small and foreign to him, so he has to rely on what he knows as an exterminator to keep Milo safe (trapping and caging). He's not trying to be cruel on purpose or upset him, but he can only use what limited knowledge he has at his disposal until Elysie can put him on the right track. In that case, the dehumanization can't really be helped, but Ben still recognizes it for what it is and feels guilty all the while.
Then you have someone like Taiyo who is more morally grey. His mission is to destroy all the parasites festering on Earth, which will in turn save humanity, but if humans also happen to get caught in the crossfire of a fight, well...oh well. He doesn't go out of his way to hurt them, but he's not too pressed if they are, and the only human he actively protects is Kumiko for his own personal reasons. He respects her boundaries for the most part, but that doesn't stop him from grabbing her, moving her, or shielding her when she's in immediate danger, despite what she might protest. That's an example of balanced adoration and dehumanizing, in which he'll give her some of the space she asks for to keep her content, but he'll be damned if he ever lets her try to hold her ground even though she's more than capable of doing so.
All in all, it really depends on how the tiny is first viewed by the giant. A pet, a toy, a friend in need, a crush at first sight? What kind of love are they blinded by that would make their morally grey views shift in favor of keeping this tiny from harm, and is there any real harm to begin with? Do they think the tiny needs defending simply because they small and weak in comparison to the giant, or is it because they're young, or injured, or recently defenseless?
Can the tiny ever sway their opinions that they don't need to be coddled either by telling them or showing with their actions, or will there always be some reason that the giant won't budge on despite conceding on other points? Does the giant feel guilty for their behavior, are they able to imagine themself in the tiny's shoes and knowing they'd also detest the same kind of treatment, or is it still a necessary evil in the grand scheme of things? Are they worried for the tiny's safety, or are they just possessive and want them all to themself?
If the tiny is deemed a pet or a toy, the giant probably isn't going to care much, maybe even joke about how much tiny puts up a fight despite living a new life of snuggled, babied luxury. If the tiny is something of a platonic or romantic interest, the giant might be more willing to meet them halfway on some treatments, even if they can never fully give in on leaving them totally alone in fear or something happening.
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lord-squiggletits · 1 month
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One of my least favorite parts of how JRO wrote Optimus is that he wanted so badly to continue his dark and gritty world building making the Autobots problematic, but evidently couldn't reconcile this with Optimus being a Heroic Paragon, so instead he leaned way too hard into "oh Prowl was the one who did this and it was behind Optimus' back" which if anything I think makes Optimus look worse, not better. Because then it's like, okay I know Optimus trusted Prowl a lot as his friend but you CANNOT TELL ME that over the course of 4 million years, Optimus as the leader of the Autobot army who literally would have access to 99.9% of all the records they produce, would never notice or question where some of these odd/inconsistent details were pointing. It just seems really inconsistent with how a real military would actually function, especially regarding Optimus' character, who is incredibly thorough and responsible and wouldn't neglect to keep up with all the details of his army.
Hell, Optimus knows who the Wreckers are and had them on call for tricky operations when he needed them (Stormbringer) so he's literally not at all ignorant of/averse to the use of special wartime units composed of dubious individuals. He's the fucking commander of an entire army, of course he knows that War Is Hell (TM) and no one's hands are clean. That's not even getting into all the stuff he got up to in phase 2/3, I mean everything from the annexation of Earth to OP breaking humans out of prison against Council orders shows that Optimus is no stranger to immoral and/or unlawful means.
It also leads to a lot of annoying fanon where people write Optimus (sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not) as like some sort of ignorant fool who's unaware of the machinations of his own army or has some sort of naiveté of "b-but we can't use bad tactics against the enemy! I would never condone the use of morally gray means in war!" No, IDW Optimus knows perfectly well all of the bullshit he's enacted/condoned for the sake of trying to win the war. Some stuff is definitely out of character for him and was only machinated because of Prowl, but I think this fandom REALLY underestimates Optimus' personal agency/responsibility as the commander of a whole ass army and ESPECIALLY underestimates Optimus' capacity to condone morally gray Bullshit Of War while still being a good person individually as well as, comparatively, the lesser evil compared to Megatron/the Decepticons.
Anyways what I'm saying is JRO may be a good writer but he's really hesitant to make Optimus morally gray and does some asspulls sometimes to justify most of the bad things the Autobots did as "Optimus just didn't know," and since the majority of the IDW1 fandom only reads JRO's stuff they go running with this premise of ignorant/uninformed Optimus when there's evidence elsewhere in canon to show that Optimus is, in fact, very highly aware of the bullshit he's allowed "for the greater good" and the only stuff he was "unaware of" was the stuff he would literally never agree to the ethics of, like bombing innocent neutrals disguised as Decepticons to get them to join the Autobots.
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