One of my least favorite parts of how JRO wrote Optimus is that he wanted so badly to continue his dark and gritty world building making the Autobots problematic, but evidently couldn't reconcile this with Optimus being a Heroic Paragon, so instead he leaned way too hard into "oh Prowl was the one who did this and it was behind Optimus' back" which if anything I think makes Optimus look worse, not better. Because then it's like, okay I know Optimus trusted Prowl a lot as his friend but you CANNOT TELL ME that over the course of 4 million years, Optimus as the leader of the Autobot army who literally would have access to 99.9% of all the records they produce, would never notice or question where some of these odd/inconsistent details were pointing. It just seems really inconsistent with how a real military would actually function, especially regarding Optimus' character, who is incredibly thorough and responsible and wouldn't neglect to keep up with all the details of his army.

Hell, Optimus knows who the Wreckers are and had them on call for tricky operations when he needed them (Stormbringer) so he's literally not at all ignorant of/averse to the use of special wartime units composed of dubious individuals. He's the fucking commander of an entire army, of course he knows that War Is Hell (TM) and no one's hands are clean. That's not even getting into all the stuff he got up to in phase 2/3, I mean everything from the annexation of Earth to OP breaking humans out of prison against Council orders shows that Optimus is no stranger to immoral and/or unlawful means.

It also leads to a lot of annoying fanon where people write Optimus (sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not) as like some sort of ignorant fool who's unaware of the machinations of his own army or has some sort of naiveté of "b-but we can't use bad tactics against the enemy! I would never condone the use of morally gray means in war!" No, IDW Optimus knows perfectly well all of the bullshit he's enacted/condoned for the sake of trying to win the war. Some stuff is definitely out of character for him and was only machinated because of Prowl, but I think this fandom REALLY underestimates Optimus' personal agency/responsibility as the commander of a whole ass army and ESPECIALLY underestimates Optimus' capacity to condone morally gray Bullshit Of War while still being a good person individually as well as, comparatively, the lesser evil compared to Megatron/the Decepticons.

Anyways what I'm saying is JRO may be a good writer but he's really hesitant to make Optimus morally gray and does some asspulls sometimes to justify most of the bad things the Autobots did as "Optimus just didn't know," and since the majority of the IDW1 fandom only reads JRO's stuff they go running with this premise of ignorant/uninformed Optimus when there's evidence elsewhere in canon to show that Optimus is, in fact, very highly aware of the bullshit he's allowed "for the greater good" and the only stuff he was "unaware of" was the stuff he would literally never agree to the ethics of, like bombing innocent neutrals disguised as Decepticons to get them to join the Autobots.

After thinking about it I’m convinced the real “Death” of Homestuck was not the ending or the epilogues or homestuck 2 but [s] Game Over.

Every single major issue with the IP occurred immediately following that.

Let’s take a look back:

-At the point of [s] Game Over, Homestuck is at a slog with constant hiatuses as the story progresses slower than ever

-If the story continued in this timeline, it could likely still be going TODAY because it was still setting up plot-lines and story arcs (some of which are still unresolved)

-Hussie was also simultaneously trying to make a video game, a video game that also had a turbulent development cycle. It’s my “hypothesis” that at this point Hussie understood that Homestuck needed to end. Soon. Thus, [s] Game Over

-Immediately after Game Over Homestuck undertook one of its biggest retcons in its entire history, years and years of character development and story was wiped away in only a few months. Major characters like Terezi and Vriska whose character arcs were a prominent part of the story up until now (Vriska’s death and redemption, Terezi coping with her decision leading to her healingher eyes) had their development wiped away. 0 Consequence for Vriska’s actions, 0 pay-off for Terezi’s trauma. They later tried to rectify this with Terezi: Remem8er, to imply that even retcons can create ghosts (which basically contradicts the entire premise of the retcon ability as NOT being normal time travel that creates doomed timelines). As if to say “Look guys, those characters are still here!!! And they’re in LOVE!!! Just forget about them now, alright??”

-What was this major retcon FOR? It had 1 purpose: Revive Vriska. No matter how you feel about the character, you should agree that this is arguably one of the worst narrative decisions in their entire series. Not only was Vriska’s entire character arc scrubbed away and she had no repercussions for her actions, but the way she would be used is even worse.

-Vriska’s entire purpose of being re-introduced was to speedrun all the years that were retcon’d and ensure that Everything Bad that ever happened Didn’t Happen. Hussie realized he had written himself into a hole and didn’t want to climb out (which would’ve resulted in satisfying payoff) So he just erased the hole. So with Vriska, we get a short flash that montages all the shit she’s stopped from happening and then boom, we’re getting ready for the final battle. What???

-I, like many people felt unsatisfied with how Homestuck ended. In retrospect I don’t feel this is necessarily because of HOW it ended but moreso the lead up to that. Nothing felt earned. Nothing felt gained. Nothing mattered. Hussie pressed the fast forward button to get it over with. That’s not even considering all the plot strings left completely unanswered that remained unanswered until the Epilogues glossed over them in a few paragraphs.

-So how did this happen? In my opinion, this is entirely because of Hiveswap. After all that’s happened, I can safely say I feel like I wish that Kickstarter never happened. Not only did it put enormous pressure on Hussie (who was ALREADY working on Homestuck stuff CONSTANTLY) but as a result took away from the main comic. I can’t really BLAME Hussie for wanting to get it over with quick. He had many more obligations now. And if certain leaks regarding the funding of the game and the studio they hired are true, it makes it even worse. Does the finished product justify all of this? Hardly, especially considering we haven’t even SEEN the finished product yet. I loved Hiveswap Act 1, don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed the characters and the soundtrack and getting to dive into the Homestuck world again, but its ramifications for the history of the franchise are a deep wound.

-The feelings that people feel about the Epilogues and Homestuck 2 are just remnants of these issues. People were SO unsatisfied with the ending that Hussie and his team knew that no matter what they did with the Epilogues someone would be upset, and at this point Hussie was ready to retire. He’d been drawing panels every single day, all day, for 10 years. Hence, the Candy Meat thing. Some people like shipping and drama and characters, here’s Candy. Here’s Meat for the plot/lore people.

-Don’t get me wrong, that’s not all the issues. The Epilogues and Homestuck 2 are well written from a technical view, but very poorly written from a narrative point of view. No one enjoys this meta nonsense. Things like trying to make “canon” a narrative tool. “Beyond Canon”? Really. It’s an official sequel. It’s canon. I don’t think there’s a single person that enjoys the meta. Anyways, not to continue re-regurgitating things about HS2 and the Epilogues that have already been said recently, this post is mainly about Homestuck

-So what is the takeaway here? Homestuck would be a better comic if Hiveswap never existed.

So, what's the deal with Kingdom Hearts? I mean, it's a Disney/Final Fantasy crossover, right? Hard to see why would that cause such dedicated whatever.

I’ve had this in my drafts for a while, and given today’s the series’ 17th anniversary it seems like the time to finally get back and finish it. Simple answer: the music slaps and you just want the soft children to get to go home.

Long answer: Even now people joke about the baseline absurdity of a universe in which Donald Duck can go toe-to-toe with Cloud, and while I think 17 years in we’re past the point where it’s time to accept that this is just a part of the landscape for these characters, yes, that does remain objectively bonkers. It’s not a natural, intuitive combination like your JLA/Avengers, this is Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe-level “well, I suppose they both exist in…the, uh, medium of visual storytelling” stuff, other than I suppose that they both tend towards fantasy in this case. And then that whole wacko premise got hijacked by Tetsuya Nomura for an extended epoch-spanning drama driven by labyrinthine, (occasionally literal) dream logic mythology where it’s genuinely impossible to tell at this point what’s being thrown in by the seat of the creators’ pants and what was planned out since day one, pretty much casting aside the franchises that were in theory the main appeal as relevant parts of the plot even as you still hang out with Baymax from Big Hero 6. Step back even a touch, and there will always be a whiff of derangement about the entire affair - it’s simply baked in at this point.

My controversial opinion however: it’s actually good. There are structural issues and awkward moments and aspects ill-served, I’d never deny that, but even diehard lifelong Kingdom Hearts fans tend towards prefacing appreciation with at least two or three levels of irony and self-critique. I suppose it’s in part a response to the general reaction to it I mentioned before, but no, I absolutely think these are genuinely good, ambitious stories build on a foundation that’s still holding strong. An important note in service of that point: Winnie the Pooh, maybe Hercules, and with III Toy Story aside, I have basically zero childhood nostalgia for any of the properties involved. Wasn’t a huge Disney kid outside maybe very very early childhood, and only dabbled with Final Fantasy after the fact (still intend to play through XV someday though). It won me over young, yes, but on its own.

The building blocks help: the characters designs are great, the individual Disney settings in their platonic representations of various locales and landscapes make perfect towns packed with quirky locals to roam through on your quest, the Final Fantasy elements are tried and tested for this sort of thing, the original worlds each have their own unique aesthetics and touchstones and come out lovely, by my estimation the gameplay’s fun adventure/slasher stuff even if it’s had ups and downs over the years, the actors largely bring it, it all looks pretty, and as noted, the score is as good as it gets. They’re games that look, sound, and play good made up of component parts that unify into a sensible whole. And for me, the scope and convolution of the plot that so many leap at as the easy target - with its memory manipulations and replicas and time travel and ancient prophecies and possessions and hearts grown from scratch and universes that live in computers and storybooks and dreams - is half the appeal; I live for that kind of nonsense. Not that folks aren’t justified as hell in taking jabs at it, but I’ll admit I often quietly raise an eyebrow when I see the kind of people I tend to follow having an unironic laugh at it given *gestures toward the last 40 years of superhero comics*.

All that through is ultimately window dressing. The most powerful appeal of Kingdom Hearts is I suppose hidden if you’re going by commercials and isolated GIFs and whatnot, and even the bulk of the content of the average Disney world, charming as they are. It’s deceptively easy to pick out something else as the fundamental appeal too; even if I’d call them incredibly well-executed examples of such the character archetypes it deals in are relatively broad, and while it handles the necessary shifts in its tone from fanciful Disney shenanigans to apocalyptic cosmic showdowns for the heart of all that is with incredible skill - and that might be its most unique aspect, and certainly a critical one - a lot of that comes down to raw technical ability on the part of the writers, appropriate dramatic buildup, and demarcation between environments and acts of the story.

The real heart of the matter, to speak to my typical audience, is that Kingdom Hearts in a profound way resembles 1960s Superman comics and stories inspired by the same: it’s 90% dopey lovely cornball folk tale stuff, until every now and again it spins around and sucker punches you in the goddamn soul with Extremely Real Human Shit. Except here instead of being lone panels and subtext, it builds and builds throughout each given adventure until it takes over and flips for the finale from fairytale to fantasy epic.

That can probably be credited directly to Final Fantasy creator Hironobu Sakaguchi suggesting to Tetsuya Nomura to try treating this weird gig seriously instead of as the licensed cash-in it seemed destined to be, since if this didn’t have a soul the target audience would recognize it. But in spite of that seriousness, it’s perhaps its most joyfully mocked aspect in its entirely unselfconscious dedication to making Hearts and Feelings and Light and/or Darkness the most important things in the universe that lets it do what it does. It’s childish in the most primal way, absolutely, but what that translates to is that there aren’t cosmic or personal stakes that swap places as major or subsidiary at any given point, because in this world they’re always literally the same thing. There’s no major relationship where the fate of a primal power or a last chance at salvation doesn’t ultimately hang in the balance depending on how it shakes out, and there’s no prophecy or ultimate weapon or grand scheme that doesn’t have direct, fundamental ramifications on the life of an innocent or the memories that define them or whether they’ll ever be able to find a place to call home. ‘Hearts’ is an all-encompassing theme, whether in strength of will or redemption or questions of personhood or the ties that bind us, and by making it a literal source of power, it lends personal dimension to the unfathomable universal and the grand weight of destiny to whether or not someone can come to terms with who they want to be or apologize to those they’ve wronged. It’s a world where emotional openness and personal growth ultimately works the same way and achieves the same results as doing calisthenics in five hundred times Earth’s gravity does in Dragon Ball. and it’s tender and exuberant and thoughtful enough where it counts to take advantage of that as a storytelling engine.

That’d be why Sora works so well as the main character, because he straddles the line most directly between those poles. He may stand out as a spiky anime boy when actually next to Aladdin and the rest, but when it comes down to it he’s a Disney character, just a really nice, cheeky, dopey kid who wants to hang out with his friends and go on an adventure and believes in people really really hard. As the stranger in a strange land he’s a tether to a wider, sometimes more somber and weighty world when he’s sticking his head into the movie plots, but when he’s in the midst of stacked-up conspiracies and mythic wars that make all seem lost, he’s the one whose concerns remain purely, firmly rooted in the lives of those connected to him. Other characters get to go out there into bleak questions of self-identity or forgiveness, but while he might wrestle with doubt and fear Sora’s the guy who holds the ship steady and reminds all these classic heroes and flawed-yet-resolute champions and doomed Chosen Ones what they’re fighting for by just being a really good dude.

Given superhero comics are my bread and butter it doesn’t come up much, but Kingdom Hearts is really about as foundational to the landscape of my imagination as Superman and company, and while 100% that’s in part because it came into my life early it didn’t take hold by chance. It manages its stakes and its drama in a way and on a scale unlike just about anything else I’ve ever seen (even prior to getting to the weird mythology stuff that’s so profoundly up my alley), and somehow the aesthetics and gameplay and dialogue and all the million and one details that needed to come together to facilitate that story joined together into something that’s become one of the most curious, beloved touchstones of its medium. It’s a small, lovely bastion of warmth and sincerity in a way that only feels more like a breath of fresh air with time, playing out over decades a bunch of kids’ journeys to try and find the people they love most and help them and go home together when everything in the universe seems to be against them. It’s special in ways that will for me always be unique and meaningful, and I’m glad it seems to have plenty more in it before it’s through.

And seriously THAT MUSIC.

Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel

Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel is written by Daniel Jose Older, and it’s one of the new ‘canon’ novels in the Star Wars universe. It takes place in 3ish different timelines: the first is just after ROTJ, as Han and Lando come together to find a mysterious device called the Phylanx; the second is 10 years prior, right after the events of Solo, as Han Chewie and Sana come across the Phylanx; and the third is before the events of Solo, when Lando and his sidekick L3-73 also cross paths with the Phylanx, neither man aware how important and/or dangerous the device really is.

I was shocked to see so many 1 or 2 stars in the reviews of this book. And then I remembered that this is Star Wars, and I became sad all over again. Don’t get me wrong; I have my issues with the direction Disney is taking with the franchise, and I even have issues with this book. But for me this wasn’t any different than watching an episode of the Mandalorian or watching the Solo film. Let’s start with the positives. 

This book is action packed, filled to the brim with so many locations and characters from the SWU, and at points very funny. The pacing is fast and even, the OG characters are mostly well done, and the new characters fit well within the universe and the story. There is suspense, there are some elements of horror, and overall it’s a very quick and fun read. I think that might bother people if they come into this expecting Empire, when they get Solo, but if you go into it with proper expectations it’s a fun story, but with very little substance. That’s kind of the main issue with this book; the stakes are low and the substance is lacking. Older writes all the characters well, and it’s clear he has some interesting ideas, but whether it be because of a Disney mandate or his own lack of bravery, this book feels inconsequential. We know nothing bad or even noteworthy will happen to Han, Chewie, Lando or Leia, so the stakes rest on how much you get invested in the supporting cast or enjoy the plot. The plot is rather straightforward; it’s a fetch quest, told in 3 timelines and full of fan-service. There isn’t a single place in this book that isn’t some kind of reference or throwback to the films or the show, which made the journey fun, but what the characters are after is really just a big radio, which dramatically diminished my investment. The real draw for this book are the characters. For the most part, I found Han and Lando very accurate, with Leia being the standout; she was the most interesting one even if she isn’t in the book much. The supporting cast was a lot better; Taka was great, I loved the fact that we get an Ewok slicer (and seeing Conder was amazing, even if it was just for a scene). I also felt like Aro was a middle finger to George Lucs and anyone else who keeps hating on the Gungans. I actually liked Sana’s brief cameo here way more than I liked her in the comics, and even L3 was significantly less annoying than she was in Solo. If you have no idea who any of those characters are, that’s where we run into the first problem. This book is not a book for newbies; this is a book for fans, specifically fans of the Disney run Star Wars Universe, who have kept up with all the different media that Disney has put out. Haven’t read the Marvel Star Wars comics? Too bad you won’t get a proper introduction to Sana here. Haven’t seen Solo yet and have no idea who L3 is and why she’s talking about robot rights? I’m sorry, maybe you want to watch that first. Han is heartbroken over a girl? See point b, and watch Solo if you want to find out. I have been decent about keeping up with the SWU, but even I was lost at some points. I had to pause and read Wookipedia for the different races and characters, because I was never sure if I was supposed to know who they are from a different property or if they are just being introduced. At times, reading this felt like I had accidentally turned an episode of season 5 of the Clone Wars, when I’ve only seen season 1. Once I got into the groove, I did have fun. The characters and events I did recognize were done well, and I loved a lot of their banter, especially between Han, Leia and Lando. I actually got really invested in the new characters, which isn’t surprising; I feel like authors have a lot more freedom and leeway to flesh the new characters out, because they aren’t being constrained by Disney mandates like they are with the established ones. Even though I liked Han and Lando, I did feel like Older wrote them to be too similar. Lando isn’t Han; he’s not someone who comes up with a plan 3 secs before execution, he is a smooth talker, a charmer, a politician. Even though in the book he acts like the Lando we know, he doesn’t really talk like him; by the dialogue alone I couldn’t really distinguish them. The book also tries to juggle a few different themes, and it’s a hit or miss. For example, I really liked the discussion of PTSD and triggers; Han talking about how he doesn’t like helmets because they remind him of his soldier days, Taka and Leia’s grief over the loss of Alderaan, even Lando’s remorse and guilt over having to sell Han out to Vader to save Bespin were all done very well. But then we have what Older was trying to do with L3 and the healing droid, this tension between what a droid is programmed to do and what they think is right, which was imo done much better in the season finale of the Mandalorian. That show isn’t even about droids, but IG-11 made more of an impact and had a lot more plot relevance than any of the droids here, aka there WERE NO droids, in this story about a droid virus. Mr. Bones was a more prominent character in Aftermath, and he was programmed to tear people’s limbs off! This book also suffers from a weak villain. Fyzen Goor was an interesting premise of a villain, but much like Dryden Vos is Solo, the book doesn’t do anything with him. He’s at once a mad genius, who managed to survive for 30 years and wreck all this havoc, and yet he’s a complete non presence. He has ties with all the major crime syndicates in the Galaxy, and yet every time we see him he’s jaunting with his green backpack like he’s Bobba Fett. While I liked most of the new crew, some characters were just unnecessary. Kaasha was a potentially interesting character who had nothing to do the entire novel; in fact I forgot she was even in the plot for the entire first half of the book, and she was on the ship! She is just a love interest, and a really bad one at that; I am never a fan of female characters who are introduced to be love interests to characters who are popularly accepted (and according to Kassdan are) queer, especially with Lando, whose entire character arc revolves around her, when she herself has so little personality and things to do. Also for a book that’s set in Star Wars, there are a LOT of sexy scenes. Too many. Then we have Han whose main struggle is feeling inadequate as a father and a husband, which was also his arc in Aftermath. Look, I’ll buy that Han struggle with parenthood, but since when is he having issues with expressing emotions? He very clearly asked Leia what was happening between her and Luke in ROTJ, and expressed both his love for her and understanding if she rejected him. He’s not an emotionally stunted man, even if he would be uneasy at raising a child. The other issue is that this book isn’t about this struggle at all; he mentions Ben a few times, but for the most part Ben and Leia don’t factor into the plot at large at all. So do I recommend this? Maybe? If you like the Clone Wars/Rebels/Solo, if you have read at least the Aftermath trilogy and if you don’t mind inconsistent characterization, then I think you’ll like this. If not, then maybe skip it; I’m sure there are better Han/Lando books out there.

goodreads

gingerjab replied to your post “ANYWAY. The petition/prayer circle for Michael Trevino to be cast as...”

I’m forever an asshole obsessed with fire/ice ships so Thunderbird or Sunfire, fuck the inhumans one off and St. John. Also, Rahul Kohli as Neal Shaara/Thunderbird/Agni. Also I’m sposed to be asleep so ignore if this is a shit idea.

For the record, I actually kinda like the Inhuman guy, cuz I mean, its not his fault he’s part of a trash franchise. I think it probably helps that I’ve only ever read one issue with him, so as to render it absolutely impossible for his writing to piss me off. I like to just close my eyes and pretend he’s a mutant. Y’know. Like I do with Kamala!

Who is obviously a mutant.

(And like.....let’s be real. The dude is a pyrokinetic with a demon form, the codename INFERNO, and his REAL name is DANTE Pertuz. DANTE. INFERNO. Like, that’s the on-the-nose-fuck-your-subtlety-we-came-here-to-be-pretentious-as-fuck-with-our-literary-references-look-how-dignified-it-makes-our-character balls to the wall character concept I am HERE for. I’m like OH HAI I SEE WHAT U DID THAR. And they’re like “oh yeah? You got it? Hahaha, we were worried nobody would, phew, good job tho. Totally adds to the character right? Pretty clever of us.” And then I’d be like Hahahaha no, not even a little bit, but ‘scool, I like him anyway cuz I’m easy like that. I put out for puns.” And then they’d be like awwwww, dammit, we worked so hard on that. And I’d be like....well, that doesn’t speak highly of your abilities, I mean it was a super obvious joke. And then I stopped making up conversations with hypothetical people in my head.)

Also, in defense of comic book St. John Allerdyce and absolutely NO OTHER VERSIONS EVER because agreed, they all suck....

Comic book St. John is a snarky Australian asshole who in between acts of mutant mass destruction, has a side career as a successful romance novelist under a pen name.

(I’m not even joking. Comic book St. John, in canon, writes romance novels in his spare time as a hobby. LOLOLOL c’mon, how is that not a great character beat for a supervillain slash occasional kinda-if-you-squint-superhero).

Anyway.

I too am also trash for fire/ice ships because SCREW SUBTLETY, WE SHIP THEMATICALLY. But like, its gotta be the RIGHT fire/ice ship. I weirdly have standards with my fire/ice ships? Probably just because I’m obsessed with Bobby Drake but whatever, who cares, how is that relevant.

I mean, OBVIOUSLY, you have your proto-fire/ice ship, the one, the original, the Word I came out of the womb prepared to preach and ship and like, spread to the masses....Bobby Drake/Johnny Storm. Because like. They are elemental dorks whose competitiveness is only matched by their dumbness, how can you not love them, I DEFY YOU TO SAY.

I’m kinda meh on Iceman/Pyro, because like, original comic book Pyro and Bobby never even interacted I think? And in cartoons they’re always totally different generations/age groups, and in the movies they’re like....boring and stale and not even all that attractive and also did I mention boring, omg no offense to whomever wrote them, but I tried reading Bobby/Pyro movie fanfic years ago because like, that’s the only movie Bobby fic there is, unless you want to read about him being an asshole to Rogue and/or cheating with Kitty and just generally driving Rogue into the arms of the much (much much much much, like ewww) older Logan or Gambit. Because srsly, so appealing. So obviously, I caved and tried reading Bobby/Pyro fics because like, they had the word ‘Bobby’ in them, and the bar is too low in my X-Men fic reading habits. And omg I fell asleep. I just. It was all just the standard m/m cookie cutter generic ‘good boy plus bad boy uwu yaoi-zowey’ bleh starring two not at all deeply written or well-acted meh-looking white dudes, and just. Why.

But that’s what I mean when I say I’m wary of fire/ice ships, because sometimes with powered characters like, authors think oh hey, LOOK ONE IS FIRE AND ONE IS ICE, THIS TOTALLY COUNTS AS THEM HAVING OPPOSITES ATTRACT PERSONALITIES AND THUS I DONT NEED TO GIVE THEM A PERSONALITY, RIGHT? Like. They’re just very boring and unimaginative in execution, just because they expect the basic premise of fire and ice/’obvious opposites attract, obviously’ to do all the work for them.

(Katey if you’re reading this I’m super for sure not talking about YOUR superpowered romances, because you are wonderful and GOOD at writing and imaginative, and thus none of this applies to you. Requisite disclaimer.)

So, when they did this random Bobby/’New Pyro Dude like where did he even come from I still dont know’ hook-up, I was prepared to like, yawn endlessly, because I figured it would be more boring imaginationless ‘ooh look what an obvious pair they are and yet still praise me for how clever I am for pairing them’ crap. 

And I was absolutely right!

(But I mean, it was written by Marc Guggenheim, the odds of it sucking were totally in my favor. Betting against them being well-written under his pen might feasibly be construed as cheating. Whatever).

And also, the art did them ZERO favors, like I know they’re both generic blond dudes in their twenties, but I LITERALLY COULD NOT TELL WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHICH in any of the panels that they were like, in bed together or dressing or talking or literally anything until they started using their powers to fight bad guys. It was soooooooo bad. Like the art just manifested every ‘look at the white gay date his mirror reflection lol what is variety even’ cliche and beat you over the head with it.

(Also Bobby is supposed to have brown hair, which at least would’ve helped a LITTLE bit. Meh. Still was gonna suck because like, nobody had any intention of WRITING them together, like, developing their characters and laying the groundwork for a possible relationship. It was just ‘oh look, the fire and ice dude got drunk at a wedding and hooked up, cool deal, now on with the story.’)

Anyway, the ONLY redeeming potential for a Bobby/Simon relationship in my opinion is ENTIRELY due to a fic I read with them. Its probably the only fic written about Simon ever, lmfao, so its not like the writer’s characterization of him has any competition among either canon or other fans’ renditions of him. But it was pretty well written, I actually liked their portrayal of Bobby, which I’m SUPER picky about in fanfics, and they actually invested time in developing Simon and his POV and giving him an actual personality and shit, that wasn’t half bad. So if Simon was written like that in the comics and their relationship progressed in similar ways, I could feasibly be on board with them.

But it won’t, so I’m not. Meh. Anyway.

I actually really REALLY like both Shiro AND Neal, with the caveat that I hate Neal’s stupid offensive-ass codename, I know Claremont only named him Thunderbird because he introduced him in an anniversary issue that was supposed to be a call-back to the original Giant Size lineup, and he needed a stand-in for John Proudstar, but like....wtf Claremont, just use your brain and save Neal to introduce a whole issue later and stick Jamie in John’s place the way everyone else does. He literally went by Thunderbird in the comics already in his Hellion days, which YOU wrote, so why the fuck did you feel the need to be stupidly offensive and act like Native American people and traditions are interchangeable with those of a guy from India? Ugh he’s so....gah.

Anyway. So I actually like both Shiro and Neal, though pretty much only when people other than Claremont are writing them, lololol. Which is admittedly...rare. Because of all his pet characters, they’re both at the top of the list of ones nobody else has any interest in touching. Bizarrely, my favorite run involving Shiro was when he was randomly shoe-horned into that Alpha Flight relaunch in the late 90s, that only lasted a couple years? Dunno if you know what I’m talking about, the team with Radius, Flex, Murmur, Heather as Vindicator and Mac was a robot or some weird shit.

I have no real thoughts on either of them with Bobby though, for a fire and ice pairing. Tbh I can’t really see Bobby/Shiro like, at ALL lmfao. For one, Shiro’s always felt written as though he’s a good ten years older than Bobby at least. Like they’re not really compatible dialogue-wise lol. And he’s pretty much never had any patience for Bobby in the comics, which has a lot to do with most of their interactions being written by Claremont himself, and Claremont infamously haaaaaaates Bobby’s character and trashes him any chance he gets, aka the few times editorial makes him actually use Bobby in a script. But I also think even under other writers, like....Shiro honestly is not the type to have any patience for Bobby’s antics or brand of humor, like.....he’s like JP but without the superficial crush JP used in canon to view Bobby’s idiosyncrasies as endearing instead of migraine inducing. I don’t think any readers would buy someone of JP or Shiro’s personality-type crushing on Bobby twice, lololol.

I DO however kinda like the idea of Neal/Bobby? If someone ever actually brought Neal back and gave him a new codename and stuck him on a team with Bobby? They’ve also barely interacted in canon, and the only time I can think of, Neal was super rude and dismissive of Bobby, because like, Claremont was writing it of course, so it made total sense for him to have the dude who’s literally been an X-Man for two issues talk down to the X-Man of several decades like the latter had no clue what he was doing, lol. Oops, still slightly salty there. 

But honestly, I doubt anyone who didn’t have hyperfixation fueled grudges on a fictional fave’s behalf would ever even remember that one canon interaction, and tbh Neal’s pretty much a blank slate character wise. His only defining traits from what little he’s been used are that he’s fairly young, in his early to mid-twenties, from a wealthy family, a little full of himself but in a ‘really wants to impress people and prove himself’ kinda way instead of an overly entitled ‘i genuinely believe I am superior to all you buffoons’ kinda way. And he was always endearingly enthusiastic and eager about new stuff he encountered from being with the X-Men.

(He was also randomly obsessed with Psylocke, but I truly think Claremont was like, well I’m just gonna write him like I would Warren Worthington because why not. So yeah, obvsly he’s super obsessed with Betsy. Duh.)

Anyway - I would like someone to do something interesting with Neal, and I think his and Bobby’s chemistry has a lot of potential and they could bounce off each other well. 

Also, I like Rahul, but I was randomly fancasting some of the more obscure X-Men awhile back for Reasons (I forget what they were tbh, but I’m sure I had them. I usually do). I came across this Indian actor named Karan Tacker and was like ohhhhhhh he totally looks like he could be Neal Shaara.

I mean, I’ve literally never seen him act, so who knows what his acting is like, but since we’ve established Neal’s character is essentially whatever the person to actually use him next wants it to be, I don’t think that’s a big deal lol.

So this is totally superficially based casting, like I think this guy looks and ‘feels’ the way Neal’s typically been drawn and the kinda vibe he gives off.

Also, incidentally, having absolutely nothing to do with anything, let alone my selection process, by pure coincidence the dude just so happens to have abs for daaaaaaays.

But I mean. Like I said, that is neither here nor there. Obviously.

Of no relevance whatsoever. I didn’t even notice, tbh. Don’t even know who hijacked my body and ghost wrote these last few sentences, quick, call an exorcist.

....oh noes, is this one of the consequences of being an ‘anti’? IS THIS MY COMEUPPANCE? *flees*

a bunch more asks waiting their turns so politely

These are all various asks about the likelihood of a remake, a rewritten season, or a spinoff. 

1 could we get an alternate version 2 is a rewrite for S8 a viable option 3 would they change the ending for a spin-off 4 are single-episode edits possible for S8 5 will S7 reactions affect S8 6 how will DW get us to watch S8

Behind the cut.

With the shitstorm that vld became, would dreamworks ever take pity on us and remake some seasons of voltron that turned out like crap, or not even air, just release them as alternate versions on dvd? Im questioning the possibilities, not the probabilities, bc Im really not optimistic about that, I just wanna know if a show can do that and what would it take for the company to snap their fingers and be like "lets do it" (besides having money)

It’s not like frequent reboots don’t have precedent in other franchises; hell, comics do it on the regular. It’s also much cheaper to do a series of graphic novels or full novelizations geared towards an older audience. The problem there is that Dreamworks isn’t a comic book company or a publishing house; that part of the franchise would have to be farmed out to someone else. 

My guess --- if another remake is ever a possible option --- it’d be several years down the road. The first version would be set aside as, say, the Y-7 version for kids and family, and then you’d find a new angle for the next version. 

If DW got the impression there was a massive older crowd (say, 25-45) who would’ve eaten up a more mature, somewhat darker, version? Sure, why not try to grab that audience? I mean, look at the Castlevania series: it’s not pulling any punches on making clear it’s for adults. That would also require a different business model, since what adults like to buy for themselves is very different than what kids want. Skip the cake toppers, for starters. 

do you think given the reaction to VLD S7, is a rewrite for S8 a viable option? I feel the fandom is divided about the general reaction to S7. If JDS and M can just [focus on the fanbase segment] that liked it, why [bother trying to fix it for those] that didn't?

Given what I’ve been seeing in terms of data from the season... I think they aimed to please everyone and ended up pleasing no one. 

Pretty sure I’ve said something to this extent before: when you can’t please everyone, the answer isn’t to split the difference and piss everyone off. The answer is to pick your audience and give them the best damn story you can. The rest will sort itself out.

Let me put it this way: there are enough people who didn’t like S7 for the crummy animation, the OOC dialogue and actions, and the nonsensical storyline overloaded with a host of new characters that stole time from the actual protagonists. And there are also enough people who didn’t like S7 for queerbaiting the audience, killing off three out of four queer characters, and sidelining the one remaining queer character. There may be some overlap between those two sets, but taken together, those two sets are pretty much the dominant majority of the fan base. 

I don’t know if that makes a rewrite a viable option, but it should be making a few execs think twice about letting the EPs/staff carry on in the same direction. I mean, you want a series to end on a high note, not an ‘omg that had such potential but boy did it self-destruct in the last two seasons’ note.  

So if DW wants to do a Voltron spin-off, would they consider changing the ending to VLD to give Shiro the things he earned so this spin-off wouldn't be dead out of the water?

That would depend entirely on whether they’ve gotten the message that Shiro’s current status isn’t good enough for a significant part of the fanbase. If all they’re hearing (or all they choose to hear) is that it’s great to sideline one of their protagonists with no in-story explanation whatsoever, what’s to tell them there’s anything that needs addressing?  

Additionally, if the entirety of the issue is Shiro --- and everyone else is just fine, thanks --- I’m not sure that’d rate as enough to warrant changing so much. More likely any spin-off would start some X length of time between, and we’d get an implied intermediary backstory (or even a mild retcon), and go from there. 

Truth is, whomever gets the spin-off will (I really hope) be a better writer and not have to deal with intrusive newbie EPs. Even then, they’d be kinda limited on what they could do, given the spin-off does need to make sense placed against the first series. Then again, VLD hasn’t respected its own premise or continuity for the past few seasons, anyway. 

So I guess there’s always the option to start with an episode that retells VLD’s ending... Kinda awkward, but not unheard of, to basically retcon a previous series out of existence.  

I have no doubt DW is looking into what went wrong with this season. I know it might be a little to late to fix all of Season 8, but do you think they would have at least maybe the last few episodes changed to give a better ending to the show - or at least more respect to Shiro as a character?

Normally I’d say no. I mean, episode 1 should have characters making choices that in turn impact episode 2, and those choices prompt the events in episode 3... but that’s a logic VLD threw out the window somewhere between S3 and S4, and it’s only gotten worse since then. 

In which case, oh sure, why not? It wouldn’t make any less sense than what they’ve already got planned, if S7 is any indication. 

Could the reaction to season 7 cause any change the execs minds going into season 8? 

One problem: this is a Dreamworks production, but it’s not a DW-owned story. It’s a franchise: there are other players involved. There are the two guys who first butchered GoLion into Voltron, Toei whose story got that embutcherment, Netflix as the distributor, along with Playmates and Lion Forge and other contracted partners. There’s a lot more people at the table than just DW. 

It’s one thing for the EPs to say they messed up, and apologize. It’s quite another for Dreamworks to admit publicly their lousy (or nonexistent) oversight allowed the situation to happen. 

Legal would have apoplexy, for starters. What wins you a franchise is often showing you have the confidence (if not sheer chutzpah) that you can do this job justice like no other. And then you hit S7 and must admit you hired people who made a complete hash of it? 

If there’s anything that will cost the EPs any future roles of a similar position, it’s that they’ve put DW in a very uncomfortable position. Caught between a furious fanbase and overly-interested co-owners, someone --- or several someones --- are treading very lightly right now. They’re not going to forget the EPs are the ones who precipitated the whole mess. 

I think we are in a unique situation where the fact that the EPs were vocal about [changing] VLD ... could be a blessing for us & DW. [But we know it] was changed, & DW's part seems to be more negligence than direct fault like the EPs. So DW can drop it or fix it, and a rewrite would be worth us sticking around, while restoring DW's name.

Again, that depends on whether DW is in a position that they can do so. I assure you they’d throw the EPs under the bus at the first opportunity, because that’s how the corporate world works. So their failure to do so is either because they don’t see the EPs’ actions as untenable (as far as we know), or because doing so would expose DW corporate to greater retaliation from elsewhere. (It could also be part of the agreement that these particular EPs are in place for the duration of the series’ production, too. Sometimes that happens.) 

I still can’t get over the fact that the EPs were so blunt about having already had a script fully written when they asked to revise. From the Studio Mir leaks, we can guess at least some of the animation was already in production at least a year ago, or earlier. That’s a lot to redo. 

Here’s something that only just occurred to me, when I listed the co-partners in this franchise: the Koplar brothers. These are the geniuses who figured they didn’t need to know Japanese to make GoLion into an american production; turns out they were geniuses on some level ‘cause it was a hit, anyway. They went on to produce Voltron: Fleet of Doom (1986), Voltron: the Third Dimension (1998), and Voltron Force (2011). If there is anyone at the table who’d be likely to have nostalgia goggles, it’d be the Koplars. This has been their ongoing story in one way or another for over 30 years. 

Originally, the EPs said they weren’t tied to nostalgia; they weren’t going to redo the story as it was, but the story as they remembered. (I’d argue this actually indicates a stronger set of nostalgia goggles, but eh.) Their determination to get rid of Shiro has always felt like nostalgia goggles to me. Perhaps the Koplars were the greatest supporters of Keith as BP --- since that would respect the pattern they’ve followed, over and over, in all the iterations. 

Considering the Koplar’s somewhat litigious background over Voltron ownership, they may’ve had the ability to overrule. So... if you want to bench Shiro, you pitch your work with the execs who are most likely to agree with you. And if you can do that in the window between the previous VP of TV retiring and a brand-new external hire coming on as VP... welp, you got permission, and the new VP may’ve signed off, not realizing the impact. 

Which would put DW over a barrel, in some ways. If DW could’ve overruled their partners, the EPs never would’ve been able to make that end-run in the first place. 

How do u think DW will try to get us to watch s8? They & the EPs have shattered our trust and the show is so messy its almost unsalvageable. 

Stay to see X point's resolution? Yeah, we stayed many seasons for nothing, next. 

We have more rep? Ex. blonde girl is autistic... So we should be scared for her too??? 

There's more queer rep? Yeah, we heard that one already. 

Unless everyone responsible is fired and a new crew runs the next seasons?

I don’t know. I would hope the answer is ‘by giving us a story that makes sense, and creates closure for all the protagonists, and not just by making two of them emotional rewards for two other characters.’ 

At this point, there is only one thing that’s going to make Dreamworks change course: if the fallout from VLD impacts its other projects. If the majority of the VLD fanbase up and announced it would be boycotting She-Ra or Fast & Furious or Trollhunters on the grounds that DW screwed up so badly with VLD that it cannot be trusted... Then you’d see movement. If the PR got so bad from so many upset and angry VLD fans that major news outlets paid attention and started writing articles about the situation, that would also put a black mark beside Dreamworks’ name -- and then you’d see movement. 

With the VLD toys a failure (for whatever mismanaged reasons) and a financial model set entirely on toys, fixing VLD now would be throwing good money after bad. Unless, of course, there’s an impact beyond just this single series. 

Until Dreamworks can see the impact in some concrete sense, they have far more to lose from their partners than they have to gain from their fanbase. It’s just how it is, with corporations in late capitalism. 

You want to make an impact? You tell Dreamworks ahead of time, and then you follow through: pick a week and go silent. Nothing about VLD, here or on twitter or anywhere else. No reblogs on She-Ra updates. Ignore the podcasts. Don’t click on the articles. That stuff’ll be there when the week is over, after all. Show DW what it’s like when a fanbase checks out, by doing it. It’s a short-term boycott, but the reason groups do boycotts is because they work. 

Fallouts 5-75 reviewed | Rock Paper Shotgun

Within the build-up to the discharge of Fallout 76, we felt it was essential to place the sport in its correct context. With that in thoughts, we commissioned video games historian Nate Crowley – aka @FrogCroakley – to write down capsure opinions of Fallouts 5 by means of 75. We’ve been posting these opinions five-a-day on Twitter ever since, till the work was accomplished final night time. You possibly can nonetheless learn all these tweets in the #AllTheFallouts thread, however now you can additionally learn them under.

Annoyed by fan stress to return to the sequence’ retro roots, Bethesda launched Fallout 5 as a kind of handheld LCD video games from the late ‘80s. Play boiled all the way down to transferring the Pip-Boy left or proper to keep away from pixellated radscorpions, however was completely executed. #AllTheFallouts

Taking the “sorry mate, I don’t suppose it goes any louder” method to criticism, Fallout 6 was launched on parchment scrolls, with fight dealt with through handwritten, horse-delivered correspondence with Bethesda. No person has but completed the tutorial. #AllTheFallouts

Eerily, no one’s certain who developed Fallout 7: Rise of the Dogmen, because it merely appeared in thrift shops. Certainly, we could by no means discover out: when the titular antagonists started turning to digicam & reciting gamers’ childhood fears, all copies have been seized and burned. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout eight was the primary within the sequence to happen totally inside a vault, and concerned the participant making an attempt to handle the citizenry’s panic over a bee getting in. Not even a mutant bee, only a common one, making individuals bark in fear because it swerved close to their ears. #AllTheFallouts

Unusually, Fallout 9 was a Japan-only launch referred to as 不死学校生活 (Ghoul Faculty) – on this charming highschool RPG, the participant was tasked with navigating the tutorial and romantic trials of a younger necrotic post-human within the depths of Vault 12. Really fairly good. #AllTheFallouts

Refusing to just accept Fallout eight’s failure, Bethesda doubled down with Fallout 10: The Bee’s Again: basically a clone of Fallout eight with a better polygon depend. Not less than the sport’s tagline (“There’s a black and yellow dot. It makes a irritating noise”) was sincere. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 11 had a brilliantly easy premise: Fallout four’s Institute discovers the physique of Jason Statham in a lead sarcophagus, and it escapes. The sport famously led to a hellish quicktime occasion by which Statham, managed by the participant, eats an entire nuclear conflict. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 12 was notably noteworthy, as the one technique to play was to insert the disc in a chimp’s mouth and look into the creature’s eyes, whereas softly holding its palms as controllers. No person will say what they noticed within the eyes of the ape, however it modified individuals. #AllTheFallouts

There was no Fallout 13. From time to time a narrative will floor a few mountain of video games buried manner out in Nevada, or of a ragged-furred, floppy-eared determine loping spherical the sting of a campfire’s mild – however individuals say a number of issues, out within the desert. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 14 got here with a novelty energy armour helmet peripheral, which launch contextually-generated smells. Sadly, a bug meant it wouldn’t come off, and solely produced the scent of deathclaw butt. Has retained a disturbingly dedicated fan base. #AllTheFallouts

In Fallout 15: Brotherhood of Feels, Bethesda put aside the same old post-apocalyptic landgrab to give attention to the emotional lifetime of tooled-up nuclear battlemonks. Regardless of its lowkey pacing, BoF was lauded by critics for its haunting commentary on poisonous masculinity. #AllTheFallouts

After the crucial success of BoF, Bethesda pissed all of it away with Fallout 16: Masters of Pepsi – a grotesque extravaganza of product placement by which no character might appear to complete a sentence with out staring on the participant & gorging down a tin of brown fizz. #AllTheFallouts

Because the rights dispute between Bethesda & Interaction resurfaced through the run-up to Fallout 17, an exhausted decide ordered the sport’s improvement foisted onto a randomly chosen fan – who panicked, and made a janky reskin of Streets of Rage starring the Pip-Boy. #AllTheFallouts

By some means, Fallout 17 was a smash hit, and dev Jeff Mince took on auteur standing. His subsequent work, Fallout 18, was a ‘minimalist’ open world sport, the place gamers might discover 2 rooms & discuss to an outdated boot. Fearful of wanting thick, reviewers hesitantly gave it 10/10. #AllTheFallouts

After spending a yr locked in his studio, Jeff Mince launched Fallout 19, a rhythm sport about lashing a person to demise with a string of sausages. Transient, ugly, and virtually unplayably brutal, it tore away the emperor’s new garments, and made Mince a pariah in a single day. #AllTheFallouts

Bethesda returned triumphant with Fallout 20: Fawlaaht – a sport set in a vault populated totally by clones of cockney hardmen. Gamers might select whether or not to facet with Vinny Jones’ Guvnors faction, or pledge allegiance to the power-armoured Mitchell Brothers. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 21 was an oddity: a transport container filled with the costumes, gear and script required to play your entire sport as a LARP. Buried simply outdoors Washington DC, the container is about to unlock provided that radiation on the floor reaches cataclysmic ranges. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 22 was shipped as a standard installment within the sequence, however when it arrived in shops it was packaged as ‘Return of the Dogmen’, and accompanied by creepy mascots no one had employed. Affected shops have been closed, and the video games have been impounded & destroyed. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 23 was an avant-garde entry to the canon, the place gamers took on the function of an AI tasked with maintaining a vault door closed. Play concerned merely holding a button down for twenty 5 years in realtime, after which a quick celebratory cutscene would play. #AllTheFallouts

Packaged with a full alto saxophone as a controller, Fallout 24 was neither low cost nor simple to play. Nonetheless, it was all value it for the sheer ecstasy of wailing the solo from ‘Baker Road’ with a view to minigun tremendous mutants throughout an atomic bombardment. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 25 was an odd one. A administration sim of kinds, it put gamers in command of Vault 420, an experimental shelter which solely grew one extraordinarily potent crop. Sustaining productiveness with survivors who solely needed to have a look at their very own palms was… difficult. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 26: Enter the Battletoads turned what might have been a light-hearted crossover right into a gruelling survival horror nightmare, as gamers discovered themselves pursued by means of a nuclear hell by a trio of gurning, hench amphibians with no idea of pity or regret. #AllTheFallouts

After Fallout 27’s code was unintentionally wiped on the eve of launch, the discharge comprised solely what the panicking intern accountable might hammer collectively in an evening. Sympathetic reviewers praised the best way the sport’s protagonist, a dot, drifted throughout the display. #AllTheFallouts

Many rumours encompass Fallout 28. Whereas most recall a mediocre turn-based ways sport, a spate of reddit posts on launch day reported the title display bearing the slogan ‘can’t cease the dogmen’, and taking part in unusual whining sounds even with audio system turned off. #AllTheFallouts

Chic celeb tie-in Fallout 29 (launched as Diners, Drive-ins & Deathclaws) noticed hollering TV chef Man Fieri voice a peroxide-maned mutant with BBQ sauce for blood, searching for the best roadkill in America following the detonation of a 900-gigaton Taste Bomb. #AllTheFallouts

Following the tragic vanishing of former dev Jeff Mince, Fallout 30 was retooled as a tribute to the nice man, whose work was by now again in favour. The ultimate sequence – a person being lashed to demise with sausages in sepia slow-mo – was a cello-scored tearjerker. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 31 was a daring experiment in augmented actuality, superimposing a grim wasteland on high of gamers’ native areas. All of it turned nasty when a person burned down a kebab store, claiming the Pip-Boy had informed him to. Considerably uncomfortably, this turned out to be true. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 32, launched as Fallout: New Crinkley, was set on the dilapidated set of 1990s British discuss present Noel’s Home Celebration. Edmonds himself was portrayed as a leather-harnessed warlord, who would unleash dreadful thrall Blobby to run gamers down & devour them #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 33 was meant to eschew the franchise’s cartoonish aesthetic for a gritty, extra life like really feel, however it seems that spending 30+ hours of sport time watching a group step by step starve to demise beneath a nuclear winter was a little bit of a downer. #AllTheFallouts

Rushed to market to cheer individuals up after 33, Fallout 34 was a reasonably unremarkable sport – till some genius launched a mod that changed all the sport’s textures with Nicholas Cage’s face, and all dialogue with low high quality WAV clips from Con Air and The Rock. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 35 was the primary to function the Utah Crab Males, however was extra notable for an easter egg: in an space solely accessible by clipping by means of a hill, gamers discovered a disquieting NPC resembling Jeff Mince sewn right into a canine costume, silently mouthing the phrase ‘assist’. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 36’s protagonist was a kind of post-apocalyptic Steve Irwin, monitoring down mutant wildlife & wrestling it right into a corrugated metallic & chickenwire zoo. FPS segments have been interspersed with a kind of desperately unethical model of zoo tycoon. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 37 was well-known for introducing tooth as its major character stat; as you explored additional & defeated extra foes, you’d develop extra & extra gnashers, till your character was staggering alongside, head bowed by the sheer weight of calcium sprouting from its jaws. #AllTheFallouts

The discharge of Fallout 38: Usain Bolt’s Salt Vault (a few plot to steal condiments from a bunker filled with livid clones of the famed sprinter) led followers to accuse Bethesda of ‘working out of concepts’, however they insisted that they had at the very least one other 38 video games in them #AllTheFallouts

Submit-apocalyptic in identify solely, Fallout 39 was a shame of a sport set in a recruitment agency 500 years after society’s rebuilding. Play revolved round barking right into a plastic cellphone, making an attempt to work out which dialogue choices would cajole individuals into accounts roles. #AllTheFallouts

All was forgiven when Fallout 40’s opening cutscene revealed the earlier sport to be a psychological experiment performed by the nefarious Utah Crab Males, a race of pincer-headed, pinstripe-suited bastards obsessive about recreating 21st-century company tradition. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 41 reprises the unique’s premise with a boozy twist: the Lager Chip within the participant’s vault is on the blink after 200 years of continuous partying, so they need to come out & get a brand new one earlier than everybody sobers up and has to endure a really apocalyptic hangover. #AllTheFallouts

In Fallout 42, you performed as a lone wanderer whose solely possessions have been a can of hairspray and a shoe. They have been no use as weapons, however by huffing one from the opposite, you would step by step, quesaily, flip the sport into the particular stage from Sonic 2. #AllTheFallouts

After an ethical panic sparked by Fallouts 41 & 42, Bethesda have been compelled to show Fallout 43 into an prolonged advert for sobriety. Chems like Jet & Fury have been changed with healthful fruit & veg, whereas the Pip-Boy delivered prolonged sermons on the risks of dependancy. #AllTheFallouts

Following the same old leaving-the-vault intro, Fallout 44 had gamers step out into an peculiar world, pissing itself over having tricked so many individuals into residing in a gap. The remainder of the sport, like life, was largely about holding down a job & making an attempt to not cry. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 45 was a bizarre, dreamlike remake of Fallout four, the place the sport’s factions had united in terror of a determine referred to as ‘the king beneath the hill’, and would implore you with grimly life like eyes to guard them from his military of canine/human hybrids. Unsettling. #AllTheFallouts

While you first step into Fallout 46’s wasteland, it’s lifelessly serene: simply rocks, ruins & wind. Half an hour in, a twig snaps behind you & you flip, simply in time to glimpse a flash of orange fur you’d recognise wherever. It’s Gritty – and you might be being hunted. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 47 was a 5-Nights-at-Freddy’s-esque nightmare the place you performed a wasteland radio DJ, desperately making an attempt to queue up the right vinyls, whereas enraged tremendous mutants burst out of air ducts & bullied you into taking part in ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ over & over once more. #AllTheFallouts

In Fallout 48, you’re captured by a ghoul with a style for theatre & given 6 months to placed on the definitive efficiency of Ready for Godot, or see your house vault levelled. After roaming the wilds to discover a solid, the distress of educating them their traces begins #AllTheFallouts

Pulp masterpiece Fallout 49 noticed the participant pitted in opposition to the cyborg hulk Mecha-Oppenheimer, commanding a legion of radioactive undead GIs from a long-buried WW2 analysis bunker. In his personal phrases: are you a foul sufficient dude to defeat Dying, destroyer of worlds? #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 50 is usually notable for a wierd NPC, claiming to be a time traveller, who garbles a warning about “a fantastic, damaged vacancy”, one thing in regards to the quantity 76, and a “legion of bugs”, earlier than being consumed by a swarm of rats. Who knew what he meant? #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 51 was an unintentionally chic remake of Three Males and A Child, that includes three towering mutant bachelors – voiced by Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel & Jason Momoa – entering into scrapes & japes as they try to take care of a self-aware nuclear warhead. #AllTheFallouts

One other Japan-only title, Fallout 52 (launched as きれいい けいじ – “fairly apocalypse”) was a kawaii dress-up sport, the place you would outfit your roster of raiders, ghouls and mutants in innovative harajuku fashions, earlier than posing them for baffling pictures. #AllTheFallouts

In an unlikely mix of ‘Fury Street’ & ‘The Guardian Lure’, Fallout 53 challenged the participant to rekindle the romance between two tremendous mutant warlords, by tricking them into chasing one another throughout the wastes in a nihilistic demise race. Surprisingly heartwarming. #AllTheFallouts

In puerile puzzler Fallout 54, you performed the only real plumber in a vault stocked solely with beans & sauerkraut. May you unclog the pipes quick sufficient to cease the vault drowning in its personal effluent, or would you simply put a brick by means of the display in disgust? #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 55 challenged you to flee the lightless depths of the dreaded ‘Vault W’, which Vault-tec had populated totally with bioengineered manifestations of countercultural icon Waluigi. Performed a bit like horror film ‘The Descent’, however with extra ‘wah’. #AllTheFallouts

In a weird throwback to early ‘90s edutainment, Fallout 56 noticed the V.A.T.S system reconfigured to deal harm commensurate with the participant’s means to unravel easy maths & logic issues, with the Pip-boy turning into a patronising, know-it-all bastard. #AllTheFallouts

“You suppose you’re secure” intones a hoarse voice, as you stand over the physique of Fallout 57’s last boss. Behind you, a dog-headed determine stands on a distant peak. It raises a paw, glowing with queasy sigils, & you wake screaming, with no hint of the sport in your PC #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 58: The Courtship of Mugnarr was a courting sim, by which you performed a sweating colossus with a microwave for a head & a coronary heart of gold. Would you select debonair deathclaw Garko, or Bludwig, the paladin with a delicate facet beneath his energy armour? #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 59: The Nuptuals of Mugnarr continued the story of the oven-headed titan, dealing with you with tough narrative selections as you deliberate the massive man’s marriage ceremony. Seat the ghouls too close to the atomic demise cult, or order the unsuitable vol-au-vents, and there’d be hassle #AllTheFallouts

After painstakingly rebuilding followers’ goodwill, Fallout 60: A Residence for Mugnarr squandered all of it – the sport was totally primarily based on Fallout four’s maddening development system, so 90% of play time was spent desperately begging metal plates to stay to the bottom. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 61, a.okay.a ‘It’s All the time Sunny in Diamond Metropolis’, centered on a gang of utter scumbags working a dive bar within the jewel of the commonwealth. Play revolved round petty acts of spite, heavy consuming, and incoherent, quicktime-driven shouting matches. #AllTheFallouts

Sooner or later in any franchise, a rubbish cellular sport turns into inevitable. Enter Fallout 62, a vaguely Fallout-themed Sweet Crush clone, whose advertisements – that includes a profoundly phoned-in efficiency from Anthony Hopkins – turned inescapable for a six month interval. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 63 adopted on from Fallout 11, with gamers looking out London’s ashes for the bunker the place Statham had been contained, earlier than pleading him for assist in opposition to a nebulous menace. By some means, it felt uneasily as if extra than simply the sport’s ending was at stake #AllTheFallouts

In a chilling PR stunt, Fallout 64 contained the precise launch codes to the US nuclear arsenal, ostensibly behind an uncrackable cipher. Gamers cracked it in 2 hours, however fortunately, because it was a Bethesda launch, the function was bugged & armageddon was averted #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 65 was a uncommon treasure. Styled ‘Fallout: Skegness’, it was a harrowing commentary on the English household vacation, the place you needed to endure being trapped in a caravan for 200 years, repeating the identical pointless arguments as nuclear winter raged outdoors. #AllTheFallouts

After an exhausting board assembly, the perfect anybody might provide you with as a theme for Fallout 66 was “two thirds of the satan”, and in order that was that: the sport was a half-hearted wrestle in opposition to an incarnation of devil that disappeared from the hips down. Garbage. #AllTheFallouts

By the point Fallout 67 rolled round, the builders have been too desperate to work on Fallout 69 to essentially care about it, in order that they rushed it out in a few weeks. It was one thing a few pig and an deserted paint manufacturing unit, perhaps? No person actually remembers. #AllTheFallouts

Let’s be sincere: who cares about Fallout 68? It might’ve been the head of human artwork, and also you’d nonetheless simply need to learn about Fallout 69. Fortunately it wasn’t: it was a busted mess that bluescreened repeatedly as you battered a scorpion to stick with an outdated rope. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 69 was exquisitely sexual. Too erotic be mentioned, actually; the phrases would sear away your eyes just like the blast-flash of a particularly sexy nuclear explosion. These few who performed earlier than it was banned have been hospitalised with snapped wrists & borked pelvises #AllTheFallouts

In a wasteland shattered anew by the sexual armageddon of Fallout 69, sport 70 within the sequence, “Fallout: the Banquet of Regrets”, put you within the sneakers of a furtive wanderer, scouring the land for no matter riches remained beneath the drifts of used prophylactics. #AllTheFallouts

By the point Fallout 71 rolled round, Bethesda devs have been starting to really feel the pressure of getting launched greater than sixty video games in lower than three years. Exhausted by all of it, they figured no one would thoughts if they simply plopped out a fast atompunk reskin of Tetris. #AllTheFallouts

Ultimately, in Fallout 72, the dogmen made their play. Moments after the sport went on sale, the file MINCE.EXE started propagating itself on customers’ PCs, and panting, shuffling creatures started to appear on darkish streets. All of a sudden, implausibly, the world was at conflict. #AllTheFallouts

Fallout 73 was not a lot a sport as a patch, and never a lot a patch as a weapon: a last-ditch piece of digital sorcery, aimed toward closing a door to a actuality past our personal. Even so, reviewers praised its crisp textures and sensible stock administration system. #AllTheFallouts

Humanity didn’t play Fallout 74; it performed us. Some say the dogmen itself have been its architects; some say it by no means existed in any respect past the minds of survivors. Regardless, it was a better cataclysm than had ever been rendered within the sequence’ early, cheery tales. #AllTheFallouts

Fortunately, the pact brokered in Fallout 63 got here good finally: in “Fallout 75”, as historians now name the final battle of the dogman conflict, Jason Statham himself consumed each server bearing a duplicate of any sport from Fallout 5 onwards, ending the horror finally. #AllTheFallouts

With the world saved finally, and Statham buried in a hero’s mausoleum, Bethesda’s board sat again & took a deep, collective breath of reduction. “Proper then lads,” stated Todd Howard, rubbing his palms with glee, “who desires to make an underwhelming MMO?” #AllTheFallouts

from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/fallouts-5-75-reviewed-rock-paper-shotgun/

Robotnik Retrospective Part Five: A Robotnik by Any Other Name

It’s that time again folks! Hello and welcome to another edition of The Robotnik Retrospective, where we delve into the depths of SatAM Robotnik, providing insight into why I like the guy so much and all the things that helped to contribute to that, both from within the series itself and without. Having thoroughly covered the in-series aspects of the character, we are now going to veer beyond his origins and take a look at this model’s utilization in other major adaptations within the franchise. In doing so we are going to take a look at how they impacted my perception of the character... as well as address a rather sizeable elephant in the living room. If you follow my blog enough, you’ve likely already guessed as to what THAT could be.

Because no matter how stringent a lot of us tend to be about this sort of thing, we cannot help but take something or the other from other adaptations, especially if those adaptations go into directions not covered by the source- especially when they can fill in the gaps that we might appreciate seeing covered, or various other details we might find fitting for the character. Adaptations can serve as a nifty way to enhance a character!

And with that said, let's get a move on!

On of the great and frustrating things about growing up with Sonic in the 90s? Brand confusion. There were so many versions of the character and his story running around it could be hard to keep track of, and with the advent of the internet it only got worse. Which was the ‘real’ Sonic? The one in the games? The one in the show with Scratch and Grounder? The one in SatAM? The comics in the US or across the pond in the UK? Yeah, the early days were something else, and for a lot of people it could get real confusing. Many fans like myself didn’t really do all that much to differentiate between the adaptations and mediums- Robotnik was Robotnik whether he looked like this, this, or this. Sonic was Sonic, robots were to be fought, and everything else was gravy. Of course, there were always those who liked to scream very loudly about who the ‘real’ Sonic was, but most of us didn’t really care.

I already detailed how that began to change once Sonic Adventure came along and SEGA decided they wanted something a bit more concrete for their setting, but in those days? It was pretty much jungle law. It could be a great thing, and it could be a horribly frustrating thing. The early 2000s in particular could be a pretty nasty time once SEGA decided to put more emphasis on storytelling and pushing a unified vision of Sonic, as you had game purists clashing with people who had preferred the spin-offs getting into a pissing match with one another.

War stories aside though, the nature of Sonic’s franchise during the Pre-Adventure Era was such that there were many many different takes on Sonic available, and as I had estasblished with the Adventures model of Robotnik, this meant that designs introduced in the animated adaptations would be re-utilized for comics meant to tie into the games and shows. The strangest of these adaptations, without contest, had to be Sonic Underground.

Sonic Underground was a very weird chapter in the franchise, with a premise so out there that many half-jokingly wonder what kind of drugs were being inhaled or injected when it was thought up. In some ways a spiritual successor to SatAM, Sonic Underground once more operated under the premise that Robotnik already ruled Mobius and Sonic was fighting to remove him from power. This time however, Sonic was helped along by a pair of siblings, Manic and Sonia, used magical musical instruments to help fight, and of all things was a *prince* whose mother was a queen on the run from Robotnik, who feared a prophecy involving all four that would topple his empire.

The premise alone is so out there that it leaves one to wonder if maybe this was meant to be a different show entirely and simply had Sonic slapped onto it for brand recognition (astoundingly enough though, this WASN’T the case... which is honestly a lot weirder than if it had been another show altered for a quick tie-in). Sonic Underground was notable for being the first western made Sonic show to feature Knuckles... and for being the ONLY Sonic show to never use tails. Infamous for it’s crazy premise, weird designs and shoddy animation, Sonic Underground is a somewhat contentious subject in the fandom- much like everything else really.

Is it bad? Personally... I don’t really think so. There’s a lot wrong with it, but it has things that I feel make it an okay show. Definitely not irredeemably awful. But I digress, we’re not here to analyze Sonic Underground- just a single part of it as it pertains to Robotnik, which is namely the Underground incarnation of Robotnik.

As I said, Underground was in many ways something of a successor series to SatAM- it included much of the original writing staff for that show and re-used mainstays of the series such as Robotropolis and Roboticization, and of course, re-used the design for Robotnik to serve as the basis for the Robotnik of Underground’s setting. So, how did this version measure up?

Well...

Not all that well, sadly. While still a global dictator, this Robotnik’s behavior was decidedly of a more comedic bend than his predecessor. Even more short tempered, bellicose and vain than SatAM’s Robotnik, this Robotnik was much more often subjected to physical comedy buffoonery, and his case wasn’t helped by his voice actor Gary Chalk (who had previously voiced Grounder in AoSTH). Now, Gary Chalk is a very talented and experianced voice actor, but the performance he gave for this Robotnik was less “Menacing Dictator” and more “Pompous Windbag”- and I suspect that was the point.

Other points against him where that unlike his SatAM self, this guy’s reign over Mobius was dependent upon the nobility paying taxes to fund his operations, and that even though he had personally wronged Sonic and his siblings, the emotional impact of his actions were blunted by the fact that they didn’t treat him with the same level of hostility and fear as his predecessor was often treated. His more comedic-by-comparison traits similarly undermined his credibility- he was at once the supreme dictator of Mobius who none the less was often much more thoroughly humiliated than his predecessor, putting him in an awkward middle ground between a comedy villain and a more serious kind of villain that didn’t really work that well.

Adding to that, this Robotnik had absolutely no backstory. While SatAM Robotnik wasn’t exactly a deep well of details when it came to his past, at the very least there was a context to him- he was once the leader of the Kingdom of Acorn’s military and a trusted friend and advisor to the king, who used his influence over the robot army he had constructed to keep the peace to conquer the kingdom from within. In Underground however, there is nothing provided, nothing to contextualize how he came into power to begin with or how he exactly relates to the hedgehogs. At times I’m not even sure his robotic arm is even really robotic, given that there have been times that *flesh* was seen underneath...

At this point you probably think I wholly dismiss this incarnation of Robotnik or that I disdain it. Well, surprise surprise, but I don’t. There are in fact interesting aspects to this version. While him ruling over people through somewhat more legitimate means made him less threatening than his SatAM Predecessor, it IS on it’s own an interesting and unique twist on things that Robotnik is able to rule via the consent of the nobility, allowing them free reign in return for paying for his various schemes while the commonfolk fit the bill. Similarly, Roboticization being dolled out as a punishment for transgressions rather than the default fate for anybody who is captured by the guy is an interesting use of the concept. And hey, I rather enjoy the wide variety of robots and vehicles that this Robotnik got to use. Also, for all about him that was taken lightly? He did get at least one *really* cool moment in the series- blackmailing Knuckles into helping him by essentially holding all of Mobius hostage, declaring that if he couldn’t rule Mobius then he would rather see it destroyed. That’s actually a pretty legit awesome moment there, and it’s the only thing that I ever took from him.

So yeah, I wouldn’t say that this is a ‘bad’ depiction of Robotnik- it has its merits, but in the end he just didn’t capture my attention the way his predecessor did, nor did the bulk of his actions impress me in the same way.

Which brings us to the REAL meat of this section- Archie Comics.

One thing I’ve mentioned in this retrospective and elsewhere is that my timing when it comes to Sonic has always been rather weird. The first game I played was Sonic 3, AFTER I had already seen Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog on TV. My first encounter with Amy and Super Sonic came from an issue in Fleetway. My first episode of SaTAM and first encounter with Robotnik was the Doomsday Project, and my first issues of the Archie Series? Was the last two issues of the Endgame Saga.

Boy, what a time to come into things, eh?

As I once said, for the longest time I didn’t really ‘process’ continuity when it came to Sonic. Since this comic featured Sonic and the Freedom Fighters and the familiar model of Robotnik, I just viewed it as an extension of the show, and lemme tell you... it blew my mind away. This comic featured things like Robotnik framing Sonic for killing Sally and ended with what remains one of the coolest looking fight scenes in the comic, with Sonic pushed to the very brink and nearly dying as he strove to take down Robotnik once and for all, ending in a final victory for Sonic and the Freedom Fighters!

I mean, how could I *not* be impressed?

I later got the Director’s Cut version, and it became even better as it expanded his evil deeds and set up and finished the final fight in an even better way. That was some seriously kickass stuff, my younger self thought.

What I didn’t realize at the time though, was that all that stuff I had seen? Was ultimately an outlier. Or that my ability to discern quality storytelling was soooooorely lacking.

See, because I lived overseas, my early exposure to Archie came in bits and pieces each summer for a while. As such, I really had no idea what the earlier books were like. See, while Archie was indeed made to tie into SatAM, the original miniseries was published *before* SatAM, and as such while there were designs and general characters and used from the show, the actual tone and characterization of the series aligned more to the Adventures cartoon then it did SatAM, and the things that WERE included were based off earlier production materials. Sally for example was an orange furred blonde in the miniseries before having her hair and fur switched to pink and black, Antoine took several issues before he finally got his trademark accent (and was evidently envisioned as being *British*, and Rotor was initially addressed with his early name of ‘Boomer’ and retained his design and color scheme from the SatAM pilot episode.

Naturally, this meant that while Robotnik in Archie had the same design as his SatAM counterpart, his personality was more aligned to the Adventures model. It’s kind of funny actually, because it’s the opposite of what happened over in the UK with Fleetway- there, Robotnik would eventually take on the design of the Adventures incarnation, which had been for a comedy show, and went on to become one of the most terrifying incarnations of Robotnik out there.

Fun little bit of irony, isn’t it?

Anyway, the point is, for the longest time I was quite unaware of the fact that in Archie, Robotnik had spent the bulk of his career as a comedy villain, and it was only after his death that some of his nastier deeds were elaborated upon. For most of his time within the comic though, Robotnik was a comedic villain- a petulant manchild with a major league hate-on for Sonic. As time went on he would go on to be less and less comedic... but he never really reached the same levels as his Archie counterpart in terms of personality *or* dialogue. This Robotnik was very talkative and tended towards a more casual tone of voice even when fighting Sonic and company. Even his better moments in the book (such as the Mecha Madness Storyline) didn’t really help to give him the same kind of gravitas or presence that his predecessor possessed. Not helping matters was the fact that multiple writers handled him, giving him a shaky and unsteady voice throughout much of the book. Even picturing his dialogue with Jim Cummings’ voice speaking the lines didn’t really help. It was only with Endgame that Robotnik truly began to show the same kind of menace as his source.

However, this Robotnik DID have something else going on for him- a greatly expanded backstory. Here we learned that Robotnik was an ‘Overlander’, a member of the enemy faction during the Great War who defected over to the Kingdom of Acorn and with his insight into Overlander tactics helped deliver victory to the Kingdom. It was further revealed that he was from a prestigious family called ‘The House of Ivo’, that he had a brother called Colin (who himself was a ranking member of the Overlander army and the father of Snively), and that during the Great War he sabotaged the Roboticizer before its first use, resulting in Sonic’s own father Jules becoming the first Robian.

As you can imagine, I ate it up, and gleefully applied it to the SatAM Robotnik, because honestly, at some level I still conflated the two. Yep, I was really, very much influenced by all the details that the Archie comics provided for Robotnik and all too eager to make use of them. Who could be responsible for so much that brought me joy, eh?

That sound your hearing? Is the sound of an elephant firmly planting itself in the room. I mentioned that I would be addressing said elephant in the last retrospective post, and for those of you that know this blog, you already know who I’m talking about.

The guy responsible for all these developments was Ken Penders.

Yup. Ken Penders. That fucker. I don’t really need to go on about him- I’ve said more than enough about the guy in general, and I don’t need to elaborate on it really. I deeply dislike Pender as a person, as a writer, as an artist... just in general really. No more needs to be said about that, as I’ve said MORE than enough elsewhere on this blog.

However... for a time, I was once a fan of his, and I really, truly loved everything that he had done, both for Robotnik and for Sonic in general. It would be dishonest for me to pretend otherwise. At some level I saw the comics as being an extension of SatAM, one that happened to include things from the games, especially including Knuckles and giving him more to do. Best of all worlds. Hard to believe given how often I criticize the man and his works, but its all true. I loved his stuff and it became a huge part of why I loved Sonic and why I liked Robotnik as a character, even as I began to differentiate the various continuities from one another and began to grasp that each one was contained to the self. I did not care. Even as I got older and began to notice certain discrepencies in the stories I liked so much, I still did my best to take them and make sense of them, creating my own take on familiar stories and bits of lore and forming it into something more logical and whole (even in the  fanboy days I thought the canonical end to the Great War was a weak one). Yep, it’s safe to say that I owe a lot of what I liked in Sonic to Penders.

Then, the lawsuit happened. That he would pursue legal action over characters that were clearly Sonic characters did a good deal to sour me on the guy. Then, by the grace of my good friend Fini-Mun, I was directed over to his forum and his twitter... and that was when it dawned upon me that this man, who I owed so much happiness to, was a horrid, horrid person. After that I began to delve around and learn the full scope of his antics, and it was here that I really began to open my eyes. I was now able to re-read his works, and I was now able to realize something that many people before me had already known but that I had refused to accept- Penders was a terrible, terrible writer. His dialogue was dull and stale, his plotting was drawn out and aimless, he was overly reliant upon exposition, while character development was often done with little build up and rarely built upon. To say nothing of his over reliance upon references to other franchises to act as substitutions for actual worldbuilding, and his disastrous and utterly baffling attempts to insert ‘real world’ subjects into the book.

Sadly, even my beloved Endgame was rife with this- the plot ultimately moves along due to happenstance, and Sonic is only triumphant due to events beyond his control. It became clear that if Sonic had done literally nothing, then the outcome of the storyline would have been more or less the same, ending in Robotnik’s death and with Sally alive and well. It dawned on me that save for a few neat fight scenes... Endgame on the whole kinda sucked. Kinda really, really sucked.

Except for this- this was awesome, at least. 

Last cool thing out of Endgame, I promise.  

So, what does any of this have to do with Archie Robotnik? Well as I mentioned, the events of Endgame and the backstory material that Penders provided for him really helped to enhance my enjoyment of the character and Sonic on the whole... and in slowly peeling away the layers of Penders’ mediocrity, a new picture began to present itself, a final nail in the coffin that was my enjoyment of the man’s work.

Divorcing my negative feelings regarding the lawsuit and the revelation of just how bad a lot of his writing was from an objective standpoint, his various statements and actions soon made it clear that he had little real respect for Robotnik as a character, along with the franchise that he was meant to be working on. Killing off Robotnik in Endgame might have seemed like a daring move, but evidently Penders felt that it should be a permanent arrangement and even fought to keep Robotnik dead in the aftermath of Endgame, claiming that it would ‘allow for new challenges’. Problem is that Robotnik, or Eggman or whatever you call them is the principal villain of the series and by default must be a constant. To this day, I still think the fact that it was Robo-Robotnik who returned rather than Robotnik proper was done as a compromise to appease Penders and allow him to have his precious 'moment’.

Point of order though, there was something suspicious about this to me. Curiously though despite his insistence upon Robotnik dying and staying dead, he never seemed all that eager to do away with the villains he had created for his Knuckles the Echidna comic, The Dark Legion. Even after the comic was canceled Penders continued to try and build up the Legion as a major threat, despite having previously used the failure of a miniseries to justify the killing of a major character he didn’t know (Princess Sally, and that wasn’t the only excuse he gave), even seeing fit to have Dark Legion characters survive into the world of Mobius: 25 Years Later. Not at all helping his case was the discovery of his opinion that the Dark Legion could ‘eat Eggman and any of his incarnations for breakfast’, when asked about the Dark Legion going over to Eggman’s employ during Flynn’s run.

The real breaking point though came when I discovered that not only had he permanently killed Dr. Robotnik off, but twice tried to replace his role in the book with cheap knockoffs of his own creation.

The first one, naturally, debuted in the Image Crossover Super Special, one of the most notoriously awful books in the entire Sonic line and easily deserving in the place of Top Ten Worst Issues. The Image Crossover was a bizzare concept, namely the heroes of the then nascent Image Comics Universe encountering the heroes of Archie’s own Sonic comic. Strange, but it could be workable. Unfortunately, the Image Crossover would not only fail to truly exploit its premise, it ultimately served as little more than a glorified commercial for Penders’ own intended Image Series, The Lost Ones. The villain of this book, introduced without any context or build-up or foreshadowing of any kind was this guy- Dr. Ian Droid.

Before you ask, no, that name isn’t a slam on Ian Flynn, it’s just a stupid pun. This guy’s name was never uttered in the book itself, nor his precise origins, but on his message board it would be revealed that Ian Droid was indeed a counterpart to Dr. Robotnik (specifically stated him to be another version of Robo-Robotnik), and eventually the utimate menace of 25YL-THIS guy would be the one to pilot the Robotnik mech seen in Locke’s visions, which kicked off Locke genetically modifying Knuckles to begin with.

Yep. That’s right. This incredibly generic looking refugee from the 90s was meant to be a legitimate counterpart to the incredibly distinct looking and behaving Dr. Robotnik, a copy of a copy (Robo-Robotnik) and the ultimate menace of everything. Oh, but even better? He was also the main villain of the Lost Ones. He didn’t do squat there either! But yes, you heard me right- Ken Penders tried to create a character owned by himself, and then through his connections at Archie, tried to make this character into a legitimate, in-universe equivalent to a character he didn’t own, belonging to a franchise he didn’t own, all so that he could try and promote his goddamn failure of an independent comic. And not only was he meant to be a counterpart, but the ultimate threat of the book. This guy, who literally has no distinct design or personality features at all. Even his freaky square pupils were lifted off of Galactus!

Oh yeah, incidentally, that giant Robotnik mech? First debuted in Sonic Live, being made by dozens of Robotniks from other zones. 

Yep, that’s right folks- the big, super evil weapon that Locke saw his son fighting? The thing that would ultimately kickstart the Big Epic Storyline of Knuckles and gradually damn near overtake the entire Sonic comic line under Penders? Had its origins in Sonic Live, easily one of the absolute worst books in the entire franchise (not unlike the Image Crossover), another one that justifiably tends to rank high in the ‘Worst Issues’ lists people tend to make. This thing is so awful, it basically caused the Knuckles series to happen! 

What could have possibly motivated Penders to think that ‘Ian Droid’ was a good idea is something that is unknown to this day, beyond the warped need to try and use the Sonic franchise to boost his own projects even back when he was still on the book. 

As I said though, there were *two* attempts at this, and Droid was only the first. The second time around, Penders would display *slightly* more savvy by crafting an explicit connection between his creation and Robotnik/Eggman... and in doing so, even further highlighted the utter redundancy of the addition. 

In his last run on the book, a gold plated clone of Gamma called “Isaac” would show up and reveal himself to be from the Pre-Xorda days of humanity, acting as a caretaker for his master... Dr. Ivan Kintobor, born June Sixth of 2006 AD. Yep. Born 6/6/6. Oh and also he was the one who dissected a Xorda which caused them to destroy the Earth, which in turn caused the creation of Mobius. 

Yeeah, you can see where this is going. Penders was very clearly setting up for Ivan Kintobor to become a new, major threat... despite Eggman already being in the picture and more than established as the central villain of the series. Mercifully, Penders left before he could implement whatever he was building Ivan Kintobor up to, and when Flynn came on board he immediately nipped that one in the bud.

The point I am trying to get at though? It becomes very clear that Penders had very little respect for Robotnik as a character, or for the games that the book was made to promote, or the show that it had been made to tie-in to, and this knowledge has all but shattered my ability to fully appreciate this incarnation of Robotnik, particularly since in the long run, his list of truly cool deeds is incredibly limited. Similarly, knowing that the man responsible for that would think of the book’s main villain, an incarnation of the franchise’s principle enemy, was so disposable that he could just replace him with “my version but better” twice over, as well as view them as being inferior to villains he himself created? Is intolerable.

It’d be like if someone at DC earnestly managed to kill-off Darkseid...

.... and then immediately tried to replace him with THIS.

“Darkthornn”.

The key difference though is that when Liefeld made that mardi-gras colored mockery, he used him exclusively for his own book rather than trying to make him an in-universe counterpart for Darkseid or trying to replace the guy with his own creation.

So yeah, in the end? Penders did a lot to flesh out Robotnik, and for a while I was cheerful to use it as my own... but knowing his mentality and how many of the little details were really badly written (in particular, the nauseating fact that the Overlanders were little more than a straw humanity to contrast Penders’ straw Utopian mobians) has soured my once rather deep enjoyment and desire to utilize this version’s details. It feels like a validation for a man who ultimately saw the franchise on the whole as a personal stepping stone for his own ideas. If anything good came of it though, it has in fact made me doubly appreciative of the SatAM incarnation of Robotnik.

Penders however wasn’t the only one to provide some interesting ideas for this Robotnik. Karl Bollers never really got to write in-depth for the character, being the one to usher-in Robo-Robotnik and his ascension to Eggman. I’m not going to cover him given that he’s really a separate character entirely and technically ceased to be SatAM Robotnik-based, but I’ll say this much- while it was a confusing as hell means to re introduce Robotnik and later Eggman’s SA design into the comic, I actually did kind of like the concept, that of a Robotnik from another Zone who had managed to triumph and, bored with victory, left his own Zone to re-live the thrill of conquest on another Mobius. Driven more by amusement than anything else, it’s a unique motivation for a Robotnik/Eggman. Also, I thought the Roboticization touch thing was a cool idea.

Moving on though, Bollers DID add a few details regarding Archie’s Robotnik that helped to enhance the character and ultimately my perception of the Robotnik that spawned him.

One of these was the revelation that in the past, Robotnik had a mentor, a kindly fellow called Nate Morgan.

Nate Morgan’s proper origins actually begin with SatAM, where an unused character by that name was envisioned as a wizard allied with the Freedom Fighters.

The Nate Morgan shown in the concept art however had very little to do with the character Bollers introduced. This Nate Morgan, in the past, served as a teacher and mentor to Julian, and allowed him to assist in secret research that would eventually lead to the creation of the power rings. Betrayed by his student, Nate would be exiled from Overland and wander into the Kingdom of Acorn, where his technological expertise would be used to raise the Mobians out of the medieval era stage of development they were in, and he would later go on to be a close advisor to King Max and mentor CHarles Hedgehog, before a conspiracy from Kodos and Naugus would force him to go into self-exile.

Like many things in the comic, Morgan was not a very well utilized idea, but for his concept alone I appreciated him all the same. I enjoyed the irony of the idea that someone like Robotnik could be mentored by someone as kind and gentle as Nate, and appreciated the connection he gave to Charles beyond them both working directly for the King. There was potential for stories in there regarding both Charles AND Julian, particularly regarding how Nate might have responded to seeing the damage his two students did to the world and how it would impact him, knowing that their knowledge sprang from him to begin with. Either way though, I appreciated the way this guy enhanced Archie Robotnik AND Chuck’s backstories.

The other thing was a really just a minor gag, but one I got a lot of mileage out of- namely the four robotic replacement bodies under Robotropolis, built by Robotnik Prime and later utilized by Robo-Robotnik, which served as a means to upgrade Robotnik’s design to Eggman’s.

This panel just amuses and intrigues me on *so* many levels, because it leaves open soooo many questions about how this Robonik’s vanity operates. Only one of those bodies could be considered conventionally attractive, and that one lumpy looking fella is even *uglier* than how Robotnik normally looks. Otherwise? They’re all just variations of Robotnik’s features of being bald, fat, and possessing extensive facial hair. I just find it fascinating that, given the chance to have an entirely new body, Robotnik only made one that could be regarded as an idealization of himself while making the rest different takes on his usual features. In particular, with the hindsight of realizing that he surely based the 'Eggman’ body off of his own grandfather, it made me wonder if perhaps this Robotnik deliberately chose to grow out his mustache in direct homage to the man. It’s a shame they never came up or were used again, but oh well, they were pretty memorable for all the single panel that they showed up on.

While never directly relating to “Robotnik Prime” properly, there were a few other things that I enjoyed for the intriguing possibilities they presented- and one of them was none other than M.

M didn’t have a lot going for her, but her existence did make me wonder what would motivate Eggman to specifically create a ‘daughter’, and to specifically give her the features that he did. The implications intrigued me, particularly in the way that they could reflect off of Robotnik Prime’s own backstory, aligning with a few ideas I had held for the SatAM version. I won’t get into details, but Mecha ended up having a bit more of an impact with me than you might think, regardless of how little real use she got.

And finally, there was one of my favorite Bollers contributions- Hope.

Hope’s character presented an intriguing concept- the White Sheep of a family with a heavily checkered past in general and an ESPECIALLY horrible reputation thanks to the actions of her uncle (and his counterpart). Notable for being one of the few Overlander characters in the book to sympathize with Mobians, Ian Flynn later got a lot of mileage out of her by revealing that, much like her half-brother, uncle and great-grandfather, Hope had inherited the Kintobor affinity for machinery and the scientific genius to go with it. Determined to restore her family name after her uncle and brother had dragged it through the mud, Hope was a really great idea and a great character. She never interacted with her ‘real’ uncle, but her existence and antagonistic relationship with the rest of her family none the less served as wonderful story fodder all the same. Helping matters was the fact that, by a wonderful coincidence, Hope managed to strongly resemble the long dead Maria Robotnik despite debuting before her. 

In conclusion? My relationship with the Archie Robotnik is a complicated one with a complicated history, with my forgiving attitude of ‘good idea, bad execution’ clashing with and ultimately losing to ‘realizing the guy writing for him didn’t give a crap really’. Though I will not deny that this one’s existence greatly enhanced my enjoyment of SatAM Robotnik and, once upon a time, I was all too willing to use the precise details of his life and conflate them with SatAM Robotnik, and at one point I might have even called him my favorite. With the realization of how poorly handled his characterization was and that his only real time to truly shine (in a convoluted and poorly explained story) came only in the same arc as his death, along with understanding the dismissive and self-serving motivation of Penders, that is no longer even remotely the case.

Ah well. Mecha Madness was still cool. 

However, the bottom line is though that these two re-interpretations of SatAM Robotnik, Underground and Archie alike, were none the less unique takes upon the doctor, spinning interesting new interpretations of his character to fit the new worlds that they were a part of. While neither of them really matched the original deal, they were both memorable in their own right, and that is more than enough.

With that, we move on past the other models of Robotnik that existed, and prepare to veer into the next retrospective. The subject of which is a... personal favorite of mine- criticisms of the doctor, and my counterpoints to those criticisms. Fun times ahead, lemme tell ya.