#and no internet access while going through puberty
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Based on the way the story has been written, especially following season 4, I do believe mike is likely gay atp. But “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” still makes sense as projection if Mike is bi because lots of closeted bi teens are confused about their feelings, especially in the 80s where terms like “bisexual” wouldn’t have been as readily accessible to kids from Hawkins, Indiana.
Simply the fact that Mike likes boys/Will could make him worried that he’s gay and cause him to hyperfixate on the concept of not liking girls more often, especially if his feelings for El were waning, or if his feelings for Will were overwhelming, even if he did in fact have a crush on El at the start of the show. Nothing says being a closeted bi teen like bouncing back and forth between “I can’t be gay, I like girls” and “Oh no, I like boys, am I gay?”
I think there’s a common misconception that the bi Mike view necessitates oversimplifying the story as “Mike used to be into El, and now he’s into Will.” That isn’t necessarily the case. A bi Mike reading can still involve internalized homophobia, projection, the heteronormative pressure to conform and date girls, repression, and most of the things we talk about here.
(I didn’t really wanna get involved in this, but I feel like this is important to add).
#byler#gay mike wheeler#bi mike wheeler#even looking at the modern media example of heartstopper#nick nelson is bi#(but the am i gay quiz he took gave him a 62% which means he likely has a male lean)#he does like girls which means he technically has the ability to like Imogen who is pretty and kind and likable#but his feelings for charlie are overwhelming#and even in a modern context where microlabels are more well known#he still gets confused and struggles to understand how he’s feeling and what it all means#why do people expect a boy growing up in hawkins indiana with a conservative father#and no internet access while going through puberty#to have a perfect grasp on what he feels towards will and el?#the bi-cyle is real too#and there are even celebs who previously identified as bi who realize they’re gay/lesbian and vice versa#in 2024#that’s why on some level the queer but unlabeled mike is the best#because it’s the best of both worlds and captures the complexity of being gay in the 80s#a definitively gay mike WOULD tie everything up in a nice cohesive unmessy neat clear narrative bow#but not everything is clear and unmessy
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I’m on anonymous bc I really am scared to say this. I’ve been seriously.. iffy about trangenderism for a while now. Growing up, I’d go on online forums and talk about how much I hated my body and how I had ‘top dysphoria’ and instead of people telling me everything will be ok, that my body is wonderful, they instead added fuel to the fire and encouraged my hate toward my body. Just so you know, I was going through puberty when this was happening, and it is very common for kids going through puberty to hate their body. It’s not being trans, it’s growing up.
And looking back on it, I'm pissed about the whole thing because those people ruined me and allowed me to speak ill of my body. And I find it so ironic that these people who encourage people to change and mutilate their own bodies are the same people who preach about body positivity and loving yourself for the way you look. The hypocrisy is mind blowing and it sickens me.
I'm sorry for this rant, it’s just I’ve needed someone to talk to about this, but due to the ideology I’ve practically been raised with due to having unlimited access to the internet, I’ve surrounded myself with people who are super woken and shit and so I have no one to talk to about this, so I got really excited to see someone with the same views as me.
I’m part of the LGB community. I’m bisexual with a lean toward men and I’m also on the aromantic spectrum. But I’m starting to realize just how fucked this whole ‘community’ is and it horrifies me to realize what it’s done to my brain.
hey :) I'm glad that you found my posts somewhat helpful :)
and yeah, I also had a lot of "top dysphoria" when I was a teenager. It pushed me into an ED and it is so hard to overcome, especially when the people you try to talk about it with are basically just telling you "you don't like how society now treats you because of your breasts? well, how about you cut them off?"
the worst thing for me was that people talk about being trans as something intrinsic, and if you try to come to terms with your body, you "run from it" and "your egg has to crack". You can't change it, and if you have only the slightest doubt about your gender, you are actually trans because "cis people don't think like that".
I don't even think that we have to love our bodies, but just accept them. They're just there and the fact that we have certain features is to me just like the sky being blue and the grass being green.
However, you could be angry with the people who made you hate your breasts in the first place: What did you learn to associate with breast, and what with breast development? How did the way people interacted with you change when you first got into puberty? How do you have to police yourself, your clothing etc., when people without breasts don't have to? Why is the female breast such an important cultural characteristic? There are societies in which women walk around without covering their chest and it's just normal, no one bats an eye. Why don't we have that here? Why do we have to cover up?
I wish you all the best! 💕
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Y'all. I might be a little emotional tonight due to the overlap of post-period blues and being very very sick, but like... I am so excited for this new wave of PJO love. Because those books meant and continue to mean so damn much to me.
When I was 10 years old, I my dad bought the boxed set of the first four for me from a Scholastic book order. The last Olympian hadn't come out yet - it came out a month later. My dad chose it for me because it had Greek mythology, and I was going through a mythology phase at the time. I didn't know what he ordered, because he filled out the forms and sealed the envelope after my brother and I went to bed, and I took them to school the next day like a dutiful kid. When they came in, I had no idea what to expect, but I ended up devouring them. Because they made me feel seen in a way I never had before.
TW: adults not being assholes about neurodiversity, brief mentions of sexual harrassment and bullying, brief vague mention of self-harm, death of a loved one
You need to understand that at this time, I was your stereotypical "gifted" kid - undiagnosed dyslexic autistic with OCD and ADHD comorbidities. We lived in a super tiny rural town (like 16 people in my graduating class tiny) with very limited internet access (I had dial-up until I was 13) and virtually no support for my needs even if I had been diagnosed. The first time I had a meltdown from sensory overload, I couldn't stop crying and went catatonic - rather than being comforting, my teacher grabbed me by the shoulders and condescendingly asked if I'd "gone off my meds or something" and told me to pull it together. I also hit puberty super early, and was being sexually harrassed daily because of it, and nobody did anything about it. Not my teachers, not the principal, no one. When I told my parents, I was accused of being "melodramatic" and "overreacting." I learned pretty early that adults couldn't be trusted.
And then came Percy Jackson. And for the first time, I had a character like me - a nerd who played trading card games, who loved being in the water, who had ADHD and dyslexia. Who talked back and defended himself against the adults who talked down to him. And the whole story was about not being like your parents, about fighting for a better and more just world. A character who was powerful and funny and tough and whose disabilities were a part of his super power, not something to be overcome. And I fell in love with the series as a whole.
Like head over heels in love. It was embarrassing, actually. When I would lie awake at night, I would pretend that my parents weren't my real parents and that I was actually a child of Hermes who hadn't been claimed. I became obsessed with Ethan Nakamura - or at least, the self-indulgent, angst-and-lore fuelled fic version of him I created in my head. I started writing my diary entries pretending that I was Nico di Angelo. One of my first eer fanfics was just Clarisse and Percy talking and bonding over having shitty families, and her apologizing. It was VERY important to me that Clarisse be forgiveable back then. I sought out PerNico fanart when I was at the local library after school, and tried to create my own myth-o-magic cards but gave up when I couldn't figure out how to draw a manticore.
And then House of Hades came out two months before I turned 14. I borrowed my friend Axel's copy because I couldn't afford it, and oh boy did that hit me. I was going through a religious phase at the time but I was also coming into my bisexuality, and that caused a major personal crisis. So the scene with Cupid hit me really, really hard in a not good way. I remember sitting in my living room with my parents and brother while they watched Big Bang Theory, and I had to close the book and go to my room. I couldn't read for three days after that. But it also solidified my obsession with these books. 😅 A lot of other bad shit happened that year, to the point I started self-harming, and the PJO fandom provided comfort and community and distraction.
I spent the summer between eighth and ninth grade writing cringey Solangelo fic in which Will was a chronically barefoot Texas boy who got his first kiss playing truth or dare with Charlie Beckendorf. He liked Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift, and they had their first dance to "Thinking Out Loud" while Lee played guitar by the fire. I set the wallpaper of my first ever cell phone to Nico fanart that I had to photograph because I didn't have internet access to download it. I played Paola Bennet's "Soldatino" on loop when I was having a bad day and pulled multiple all-nighters on my worst nights drawing PJO fanart.
Sword of Summer released my freshman year of high school. I borrowed a copy from an older boy I was hanging out with - I think his name was Michael? our friendship didn't last, but I'm grateful anway, because that book did. I had only been identifying as gender fluid for 9 months when that book came out, and my coming out was far from ideal. Meeting Alex was the coolest thing that could have happened to me. AND (s)he helped me to bond with my niece, who was 12 years old and already so much more aware than I had been at her age. I called her Magnus and she called me Alex - until we got the point in the book where they started dating.
And the summer after high school was super traumatic. I spent my summer helping my grandfather take care of my grandmother while on home hospice. It was emotionally draining, because this woman had as big a hand in raising me as my mother, but as the end got closer, she got mean and then violent. I was watching her die in slow motion, and it fucked me up big time. But during our moments of quiet, when she would be asleep and my grandfather was out in the garden, I would read Trials of Apollo, and even though those books hurt so deeply, it helped break me out of my numbness, and provided some great laughs along the way.
And when I got to college, the Riordanverse was one of the first things that helped me bond with the people who would become some of my best friends! I'll never forget sitting at the Rachel Carson dining room debating the phylogeny of sandwiches and discussing Red Pyramid with Sage and Kailtyn. I even tried (unsuccessfully) to make us Camp Halfblood T-shirts for candlenights one year. 😅
I know there are parts of the books that are problematic. But I also love this fandom so, so much, and I am so glad that it was able to touch so many of us. I still lay awake dreaming of Camp Halfblood. Of capture the flag and the rock wall of death, of blue coca cola and jelly beans. I buy blue Takis whenever I see them because they remind me of Percy. I can't drive past our local dam without snickering over the "dam snackbar." I know how much this series meant to my little queer neurodivergent heart, and I am really excited for the younger generation who may be discovering this world for the first time.
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Most sources on the internet will delineate “1. genital differences which are intersex” and “2. genital differences which aren’t intersex.” My question is if there is such a thing as category 2? For instance, female or CTF can be born with a hooded clitoris, where the clitoral hood entirely covers the clitoris and can only be “corrected” with surgery. That said, it is never corrected at birth (it’s usually not visible, first of all) and is always seen as elective. Even so, would this be intersex by the fact it is a difference in how the genitalia usually forms? Where does the line get drawn?
Hi anon! This kind of goes back to a question I answered earlier tonight, and really gets into a discussion about what the definition of intersex is. I'm pasting my definition of intersex from that post, which references this glossary from InterAct:
An innate physical trait that falls under the umbrella of variations in sex characteristics, generally meaning that the variation:
Shows up in a person’s chromosomes, genitals, gonads or other
internal reproductive organs, or how their body produces or
responds to hormones;
Differs from what society or medicine considers to be “typical” or
“standard” for the development, appearance, or function of female
bodies or male bodies;
and is present from birth or develops spontaneously later in life
Is often significant or noticeable enough to cause stigma or violence in a person’s life, whether through explicit discrimination or implicit ways that society enforces the sex binary
So I think when we're curious about what variations are and aren't considered intersex, a lot of the time it comes back to how society interprets and responds to those variations. Having a hooded clitoris is an innate physical trait, that shows up in someone's genitalia, that is probably present from birth/puberty. Where it becomes less clear is whether that's considered "atypical" from typical female and male bodies in a way that causes stigma associated with existing outside the sex binary. My perspective is that it probably doesn't, as it's something that is societally considered within the typical range of experiences for "female" genitalia. It's a genital difference, but I don't really think it's a genital difference that exists outside the sex binary, and it doesn't carry with it the specific experiences of stigma and compulsory dyadism.
I think it can be important to recognize that being intersex isn't the only way to have bodily variation, but is rather an intentional, political term to create a community around a set of traits, diagnoses, and variations that face the heaviest repercussions of the sex binary. Intersex is also not a specific scientific term that has strict criteria based in biological mechanisms.There are plenty of disabilities associated with the reproductive system that are not considered intersex, because even though people might experience societal oppression due to their disability, they aren't experiencing the added layer of how our society reacts to bodies outside the sex binary.
Where the line gets drawn is a question that is constantly evolving and is going to be different depending on who you ask. The medical community has a very strict definition of who they consider intersex, while intersex community organizations take a broader approach and include groups that the medical community refuses to label as intersex. The definition of intersex has meant different things in different time periods. There is not one right answer. On this blog, I usually take the stance that if people need resources or support for their bodily variation that they find in intersex community, I'm happy for them to access those resources and support. I'm not super interested in making strict definitions about intersex, and I'm more interested in finding shared values, building solidarity among our experiences of dealing with intersexism and compulsory dyadism, and building intersex love and pride.
I'm only one intersex person and cannot speak for the whole community, so other intersex people please feel free to add on with how you think about intersex identity.
-Mod E
#actuallyintersex#intersex#disability#<- read the post i linked about compulsory dyadism if you#are interested in why i think that intersex justice is a disability issue#i am not the intersex authority so please feel free to add on or disagree! we do not all have to think about this the same way
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Coronet Highlands, Hisui Region, 1804 AC
In the weeks since reaching the Highlands and setting up base camp, Dawn went to work catching pokemon for the pokedex. Rei and Laventon worked with the rest of the Galaxy Team in setting up new camps in the highlands.
Dawn had a heart attack or ten watching Ingo casually doing freestyle cliff climbing up the various cliffsides. The other half of said set of heart attacks was due to seeing the results of the years of said freestyle cliff climbing on Ingo’s physique when he took out his coat for Dawn’s sake due to the highland’s colder climate.
“No thanks! I’m good. I got some snow wear ready for visiting the icelands.” Dawn explained after mentality lambasting herself for her developing aesthetic attraction to someone in front of her. It was sorta different when they were strangers and in a one sided parasocial relationship with a version of him from another reality... “Damn it, puberty.” she muttered to herself. “Uh, how old are you exactly? Given the whole… two bodies thing?”
“I can sense your unease about the situation. I’m somewhere in my forties now, not sure on the exact number. I’ve been here for almost a decade. How… how long was I gone, from my brother? I’m sure the date of the posts you’re getting on your phone imply a sort of present period we would be returning to once your true role here is complete.” Ingo asked as he looked around for Lady Sneasler.
“Well, almost a year, I guess? The internet time period I’m connected to isn’t really flowing quickly or at all, does give me a lot of time to catch up on my reading at least, but still. At the rate we’re going, I’ll be a year older than my friends.”
“I’m basically a decade older than my twin brother. Given the memories I can remember of both myself and Reshiram, I can imagine the trouble that’ll cause once Emmet realizes I’m a lot older now, especially since he has access to the progenitor Zekrom’s power.”
“I’m sure he won’t cause that much of an issue, right?”
“Unova has various distortion spots due to the twin heroes arguing that slowly but surely resulted in the splitting of the Original Dragon. I don’t remember anything before the progenitor Reshiram’s creation but I remember the arguing after the splitting.” Ingo’s normal frown turned much deeper and more annoyed. “Said arguing resulted in the distortions, even tiny reality warps for the most inane differences in opinion… why my mind made me remember very clearly the fact that the progenitor Reshiram and Zekrom having to share a big bowl of snow based dessert only to argue over the flavor and turning the Original Dragon’s crystal bowl into the mythical Crystal Cauldron of Unovan myth I have no idea.”
“Minds are weird like that. At least you’re remembering more.”
“At least. Still, at least I have proof that I am different from the progenitor Reshiram. They apparently like rose water and dried dates, while the progenitor Zekrom wanted saffron and nuts. I prefer vanilla ice cream, in terms of cold desserts.”
“I see.” Dawn said with a chuckle. “Wait, what do you mean by my true role?”
Ingo glanced at her, his silvery eyes momentarily surrounded by a blue glow.
“I have no idea what the real goal is but I have the gut feeling that the act of completing the pokedex is ultimately circumstantial, that the true reason why you were sent here would be solved on the way of completing the pokedex.”
“I mean, the weird lightning strikes and the giant crack over Mount Coronet isn’t enough of a sign?”
Ingo chuckled a bit.
“Still, we don’t know the real reason why we were sent here. From what you told me of your experience, it was a lot different from mine. The Original One spoke to you and gave you your task. I can’t recall what happened through the rift that sent me here all those years ago.”
Before Dawn could reply, Lady Sneasler arrived with her odd backpack basket.
“Ah, seems we’re ready to board the next station. Lady Sneasler is ready to allow herself to be your guide through the cliffs along Hisui.”
The relatively simple flute playing went without fanfare.
“I wonder how the Nobles could tell where and who’s calling them when someone plays the same tune.”
“It’s not the same tune. Not in a deeper sense.” Ingo replied. “It’s like how pokemon could communicate with each other. They speak their emotions out and they understand it, not like humans in how we communicate with ideas in our words. That and they have the blessing of Sinnoh through them, which runs in a similarly deeper level than just through blood. Some sort of ritual is done, I heard from elders, that awakens the power within them, though given Lord Arcanine’s ascension, I feel that it’s less about the ritual and more about it being awakened in a different way. The noble titles were passed down through the millennia after all. If every child of a noble pokemon were themselves nobles, Hisui would have been filled with a multitude of nobles by now.”
“You got a point there. So, how does Lady Sneasler guide people through the cliffs?” Dawn asked as Lady Sneasler waved at Dawn as she placed the basket down and opened it up.
“Hop in and she’ll carry you up.”
Dawn then looked at him as if he grew feathers.
“I’m sorry. Lady Sneasler carries you in the basket on her back?”
“It’s a surprisingly tough and comfy basket. Also useful in going through the wilderness in secret since to other pokemon, it’s just Lady Sneasler in her uniform doing her rounds. The basket’s also useful in carrying berries for the kits, and even carrying the kits around if she needed to be quick. I’m pretty sure the Ancient Celesticans used some sort of magic on it and the other equipment of the Noble guide pokemon used given how it’s passed down as well, from what Irida and the Pearl Clan elders told me at least. If it helps, the basket was my way of moving around before I was made a warden and I learned to climb cliffs by myself.”
“I…” Dawn muttered as she placed her hands over her mouth. “Ingo, have you thought of like… a safety harness? Given how high the cliffs you regularly climb are?” she asked but Lady Sneasler picked her up and put her in the basket despite her protests. The noble then patted the basket lid before she lifted the basket backpack up.
“Snea?”
“I… huh, this is very comfy. I imagined it would have some sharp wicker stuff or something. Though I’m not sure about the eye hole given how I’ll end up facing the mountain view from my position.”
“Snea sneas sneasler.” Lady Sneasler said as she hopped a bit, freaking Dawn out a bit. Lady Sneasler chuckled at that.
“Now Dawn, Lady Sneasler will show how safe it is. She’ll climb over the short hillside cliff we were facing to prove it. I’ll follow behind you.”
Dawn did struggle to stay still and keep her mind clear as she found herself imagining the basket ripping open below her and her imagination stretching the short cliff into something vertigo-inducing as Lady Sneasler climbed up.
“Me and my imagination.” she muttered to herself as she pulled out her phone to try to distract herself.
That’s where she noticed the Chirper notifications.
Fortunately, she didn’t jump up at the sudden discovery or scream and freak out Lady Sneasler. She waited until Lady Sneasler plopped the basket down and patted the lid.
“Snea sneas sneasler.”
That’s when Dawn popped out of the basket, eyes still fixed on her phone screen.
Curious, Lady Sneasler went to look at the phone’s screen, noticing the image of the Temple of Sinnoh on it. She then shrugged and waited for her warden to arrive, which he did some seconds later.
“Uh, Dawn? Is something the matter?” Ingo asked as he noticed Dawn standing on the basket, too focused on her phone.
“I… I managed to post something on my Chirper account. We can contact our time!”
Hope stabbed Ingo at the prospect of sending a message to his friends and family in the future.
“B-BRAVOOO!” he foghorned out a shout. Lady Sneasler was surprised given that it was years since he shouted that loud. The Highlands and Icelands are terrible places to make loud noises after all.
“Oh, oh wow, the Chirper videos actually made your shouts quieter.” Dawn muttered out before returning to her phone. “The real issue is the time difference, and I don’t mean the whole past and future situation.” she said as she showed him the Chirper thread while getting off the basket. “I accidentally posted the picture of the Temple of Sinnoh weeks ago yet the Chirper thread has been a few hours since the posting.”
“So we experience more time compared to them. Unfortunate but it makes sense, given how relative space-time is. Better something than nothing.” Ingo said as he went to look at the replies, hoping to find a comment from someone he knew.
“I guess it has something to do with the massive crack in the sky. Might mean it’s a massive space-time distortion opening, which makes sense, but also worrying.” Dawn said as she glanced at the storm clouds over the mountain. “That would mean it’ll result in a distortion at the size of the region. Might even be the reason for the red sky in the future when Team Galactic did their crazy plan for a few hours.” she muttered to herself before she realized something. “Quick, we should get a selfie! Show everyone we’re okay! Lady Sneasler can join in the photo.”
It took a while for Ingo to recall what a selfie was as Dawn struggled to hold the Arc Phone at the side with its camera function. She then practically forced Ingo and Lady Sneasler close together with her in the middle as the camera flashed.
“Perfect!” she said as she posted the photo on her Chirper with a description.
Stuck in the past to do Arceus a favor, I think. Found Ingo! He’s been here for 10 years, compared to my few months. Time’s wonky so it has been weeks on my end since my last post. AMA later on Commit? #TrainTwins
“I- Dawn, is it wise to tell people how long I was stuck here?”
“It’s best to tell people the issue directly instead of going around it and letting it fester. Barry told me that. Besides, if what you said is true, it’s better to let your brother process it instead of dropping the bombshell once we’re back.”
“You got a point there. I just worry about the potential freakout. My brother can go wild without me to ground him, metaphorically speaking. Given that he’s also the progenitor Zekrom, that might be literal now as well.”
“Yeah, we should keep the knowledge of you technically being the progenitor Reshiram to a minimum. Captain Preselle’s a Zekromite and she might have gone against her oath if she knew you were Reshiram Incarnate.”
Dread creeped up on Ingo as he remembered the various church denominations and realized what it meant.
“Oh Dragons, I can imagine my parents being worshiped as the Mother and Father of the Twin Dragons and my childhood home becoming a pilgrimage site.” he groaned.
“Yeah, not to mention your current home and probably Gear Station and the Unovan railway system… we can set that aside for future Ingo to deal with.”
“Of course. Anyway, shifting the tracks to the matter at hand. Did you have a satisfactory climb with Lady Sneasler?”
“It might take some getting used to but I can see the utility. I have to go off the safe routes to find rare pokemon and Sinnoh, I mean, Hisui is very mountainous.”
“That’s good. The other thing is that Warden Melli decided on what your first trial for meeting Lord Electrode is.” he said with some annoyance.
“What sort of trial is it?”
“He convinced me to take the torches I put in the Wayward Cave out as part of some symbolism on light and shadow, either that or a cave orienteering trail.”
“So, no Flash, if I could have a pokemon that uses it?”
“I… I don’t know if Flash was used at this time period. I suddenly recall a disk of some sort?”
“That would be the TMs and HMs, I think. Well, the issue is that the Wayward Cave doesn’t really lead to anywhere? At least, in the future when I explored it.”
“It does have a terminal in this time period.” Ingo helpfully informed. “Though I am worried about the dangers. There’s an alpha crobat and going too deep without a light source can be deathly.”
“I mean, we’re not going to the lower level right? I would use Flash either way.” Dawn said as the trio headed down the hill’s slope before heading to the wagon.
“There’s a lower level?”
“Huh, I guess it’s not explored or found yet.”
“I still urge some caution given that it is a cave system.”
“Of course. Besides, I would likely try to catch the alpha pokemon anyway. Pretty sure I’ve altered Jubilife City history somewhere.” she said as they soon reached the wagon, seeing Volo writing something down on his notebook.
“Hey Volo. Found a new ruin to explore?”
“Indeed I did. There’s clearly a quarry site nearby where the Ancient Celesticans used for their building material. We can go there later if you’re interested.”
“I know Cynthia was curious about where the Ancient Celesticans got their stone. Since I can post on my Chirper while near the space-time crack, I’m sure she’ll be ecstatic to see the quarry site.”
Volo blinked in shock at that.
“C-can you explain?” he managed to ask out. Which she did during a nice meal of curry. Volo was in deep thought about it, barely eating his spicy burger-steak curry.
“Even with the time gap, I… I’m not sure if I want to interact with the future, let alone my wonderful descendant. There’s a difference between hearing about someone and actually meeting them, and well, I don’t want to give false impressions.”
“Don’t worry about it, Volo. I’ll make sure to keep it focused on me and Ingo.” Dawn said as she pulled out her phone to check. “Looks like an hour passed in the future, compared to our couple of hours. Not sure if it’s consistent but well, time has always been a bit wibbly-wobbly. Mom’s asking if I’m well. Got a message from Cynthia asking me to call Lucas and Barry since she couldn’t seem to get a hold of them. Oh dear. They might end up calling both the Diamond and Pearl Clans’ Almighty Sinnoh just to get me. Oh, Ingo! Your brother posted a reply to the photo.” Dawn said as she showed the screen to Ingo.
I am Emmet. Once we rescue you, I am deaging you back to your Ideal age. You are older by ten minutes, not ten years.
Ingo processed the message for a moment.
“May I?” he asked, to which Dawn gave him her phone. He then replied.
This is Warden Ingo. Get used to the Truth of the matter, or are you also going to undo my marriage and all of my kids as well?
He smirked as he sent the reply and returned the phone. Dawn looked at the reply.
“Wait, you’re married!?”
“Yes, to Lady Sneasler and we have many sneasel kits back home.” a beat. “It’s a symbolic thing. The Rite of Wardenship was more like a pledge of service towards the noble, making us equals in a sense. That does mean I’m technically married to my pokemon.” Ingo said with a chuckle though he could see the gears turning in Dawn’s head.
“Is that the reason why the folktale went like that? It got so many interpretations and some people thought it was a literal marriage between humans and pokemon but was it a metaphor we took seriously due to losing the necessary context? Was it even talking about the Rite of Wardenship in the first place?” Dawn muttered out before she realized something.
“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, you can lie?” she said as she glanced at the reply then at Ingo.
“Just because I’m Reshiram Incarnate did not mean I was aware of being Reshiram Incarnate when I was born. I was raised as a human and humans can lie, though I don’t like to lie. It does make me wonder if being Reshiram Incarnate explains why I’m quite skilled in math. Before Lady Sneasler chose me, the Pearl Clan was thinking of making me the clan’s accountant due to how good I am in dealing with conversion rates with the Gingko Guild.”
“Why math? That’s a bit of a swerve there.”
“One, two, three, four. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division. Mathematics is a form of Truth in the world. One can misinterpret the numbers but one plus one will always result in two.”
“Huh. Never thought of it that way.” Dawn muttered as Volo went to focus on his meal.
“It would be difficult to just focus on you and Ingo though.” Volo pointed out. “If I know historians, they would ask for all the details they could get. Can you imagine me somehow getting a way to communicate with the hero of legend? I would go crazy wanting to learn anything for their time period, even something as inane as pottery painting methods.”
“I mean, Cynthia did get into a massive fight over Ancient Celestican pottery patterns and how they made it. The other guy claimed that the patterns represented the alien rulers that brought culture to the Ancient Celestican people. Same guy who claimed that aliens did the building of all of Ancient Celestica’s stone buildings.”
Volo and Ingo looked at Dawn, struggling to understand the leaps of logic on that one.
“Honestly, I would have joined in the fight at how insulting that is.” Volo finally said. “There’s always an idiot, I guess.”
“That is an unfortunate truth, yes.” Ingo agreed.
“Well, looking at the comments, I can see a couple historians asking questions about the Hisui Era, so it looks like you’re spot on there.” Dawn said as she went back on her phone. “Oh, huh, there’s a comment from Elesa. I guess it’s for you.” Dawn said as she gave Ingo her phone.
Ingo, please tell me you’re joking! Emmet’s brewing up a storm, literally! I’m pretty sure he’s blue screening due to his ideal crumbling before the truth of reality. Either that or freaking out at missing out ten years of your life.
“Oh dear. Seems that Emmet has become a bit more unhinged since I was gone.” Ingo muttered as he typed a reply.
I am technically married, Elesa. Becoming a Warden of a Noble pokemon is sort of similar to marriage in this time period.
The response was swift as he saw a burst of rechirps and likes on the reply popping up.
Ok, Cynthia gave us a history lesson and Emmet is angry at you for messing around. He misses you a lot, you big bidoof-fus. He’s still gonna deage you though, once you’re back. I honestly think he’ll use his Zekrom powers.
Ingo instinctively huffed smoke out of his nose in annoyance.
My amnesia may be clearing up due to Dawn’s help but if Emmet dares to alter the Truth of my age, he has another thing coming.
I am Emmet. You had amnesia!? For almost ten years!? Which god should I punch right now!? We’re in Sinnoh and I will beat up Uxie!
Ingo blinked at that, memory flashing in his mind.
“Suddenly remembered the progenitor Zekrom roaring about fighting the gods for the existence of injustice and suffering.”
Volo found himself whistling at that, which caught the attention of Ingo and Dawn.
“I mean, I would honestly follow a god that fights for what they believe is right. A world without suffering… no wonder the Unovans have such a zealous streak.”
“The Reshiramites would claim otherwise. They claim that the progenitor Zekrom being the Lord of Lies, who blinds people in the darkness with flashes of light far from the safety of the flame, leading them into foolish illusions of unrealistic fantasies and impossibilities. The Lord of Lies, of Dreams, of Fantasies, of Make Believe… then again, I would be lying if said dreams, fantasies, and make believe didn’t bring innovation and improvement. Even so, he is my brother, my twin. I can’t say we have a perfect relationship, which sibling has?” Ingo then chuckled. “Sorry, I suddenly remembered the clothing choices Emmet and I went for in our teenage years.”
“Oh, I think I saw that video.” Dawn added. “You wore bright pastels while Emmet went full goth.”
“In hindsight, I wonder if that was our dragon sides wanting us to be in our proper colors.”
“The most frowny pastel and the most happy goth twins.” Dawn joked as she went to grab her phone, searched online, and showed Volo the old picture of the young Jameni twins.
Volo blinked at the sight.
“Wow. One looks like a mess of light colors and the other looks like they just wore black all over like some bad ninja. I honestly couldn’t imagine what you two were talking about before you showed the picture, thanks Dawn.”
Ingo blushed in embarrassment at that.
“Elesa once claimed that she went to master fashion because of our horrible sense of fashion.”
“To be fair, you had no color coordination while Emmet had no clothing and accessory coordination. Black polyester pants, black leather coat, black cotton shirt… meanwhile you look like candy vomit.”
“Ouch, but I remember Elesa saying the same when she first saw us try out our new clothes during our journey.”
“It’s nice to see you getting better on your memories at least.” Dawn said with a smile, to which Ingo smiled back.
Volo smiled for the both of them but it was a sad smile he kept to himself.
A few days later, Dawn and Ingo were at Wayward Cave where the trial was to be held. Dawn was ready to enter but Ingo stopped her, guiding her through the right path, away from the alpha pokemon in the cave and possible weak spots in the cave system that’ll result in a fall to the yet-to-be-discovered lower level of the cave.
It was an unfortunate truth that people disappear in caves and areas with significant cave systems.
Of course, Melli was annoyed at the, in his opinion, blatant favoritism, despite Ingo’s words to the contrary. He then declared that the trial was null and void, and that he’ll think of a proper trial later on.
Dawn was annoyed but focused on working on the pokedex. Ingo felt something off about that, a lie, a withheld truth, and so he secretly followed her for a few days as she went north of Mount Coronet. She soon looked around, seemingly trying to figure something out, before she went south, climbing up the mountain through Lady Sneasler, up towards the Temple of Sinnoh. Worried, Ingo climbed up the cliffs to the temple behind them.
By the time Ingo reached the temple, it was almost dusk and he hid behind the pillars to see Dawn photographing the statues of the first nobles, the pillars, the top of the decorative columns, the ceiling, the floor...
“This is amazing. What sort of Ancient Celestican style the top of the decorative columns came from? There’s elements of Ionica but the top bowl implies a sort of Dorica influence as well.” he heard her say to Lady Sneasler. “I need to photograph the roof, maybe even the frieze…” that was when Ingo made himself appear and coughed to get her attention. He crossed his arms.
“You do know this is a restricted access area?”
“Ah, uh, Ingo, fancy seeing you here?” Dawn tried to sidestep the question. He just raised his eyebrow at that. “Look, this is a massive historical find and with this we could build a replica of the Temple of Sinnoh in our time, if not restore Spear Pillar. We don’t even know what happened to the roof.”
“While I admire the Ideal-” Ingo then stopped himself as he realized that the word had something more to it, like it was somehow capitalized by a slight force of will before he coughed and continued. “You still broke into restricted ground deemed holy to multiple people. If anyone were to find you, it might cause a diplomatic crisis.”
Dawn just groaned at that.
“I know but for all we know, the temple might get destroyed days if not weeks or months from now.”
“Even still, the relations between the Clans and the Galaxy Team are a bit tense due to the rift alone.”
Dawn sighed as she looked at the roof.
“Fine, I’ll go down.” she then began posting the pictures on her Chirper. “After I finish getting as many pictures for future historians. I do need to have a better look at the roof…”
Ingo glanced at Lady Sneasler for help, to which she raised her paw over her mouth and laughed.
“I’m pretty sure Lady Sneasler can’t bring you up with her climbing skills, that and Melli would notice the resulting claw marks on the stone.”
“Ugh, you’re right, and staravia’s not strong enough to carry me with Fly.”
“I’m pretty sure none of the local pokemon are careful enough to allow you to be on their backs to fly even if they trust you completely. There’s a reason why the noble guide pokemon of the Alabaster Icelands grants safe passage through the air, Lord Braviary.”
Dawn gave an annoyed look on her face.
“Seriously? Ugh, of course it’s not that simple.”
“None of the pokemon here interact with humans a lot, less of all the flying types. Falling from a great height because one underestimated either yourself or your pokemon is completely dangerous. I would veto it even if it’s just a few feet up in the air.”
“Veto it? Since when did you become my guardian?” Dawn asked in teenaged annoyance, only for a sudden heat to warm the temple’s cool air. The whites of Ingo’s eyes glow a fiery blue.
“I am the Pearl Clan’s Warden of the Coronet Highlands. I am one of the top pokemon trainers from our time period. I am also Reshiram Incarnate.” he was warm like a hearthfire while as warning as the flame that causes a wildfire. “While you’re here in the Coronet Highlands you are under the protection of its Wardens. Since you challenged Warden Melli for the right to meet, and quell if it comes to it, Lord Electrode, that responsibility falls down to me. Was this responsibility commanded to me by Lady Irida? No. Am I obligated to take care of you like this? No, my duties are to Lady Sneasler and to help any travelers in need. But I am IngGou.”
I am Guide-of-Travelers.
Dawn and Lady Sneasler winced at the way Ingo said his name in an odd growling accent that gave mental images of trails and tracks, the people that travel on them, and the guides and protectors of the travelers.
“And as long as you are on this track, I am to keep you safe until we reach our destination. This is my Truth.”
As Ingo panted and the warm air and blue glow faded, Dawn and Lady Sneasler looked at him in shock and wide eyes. A fire was lit back in Ingo. He could feel it. Compared to before, it was an ember in comparison to the fire burning within him now. It was meaning. It was purpose. It was a self he didn’t realize he was missing until right then.
“W-was… was that… was that draconic just now!?” Dawn said in glee as she ran towards Ingo. “That was amazing! The digitized public grimoires I read talked about how dragon language was all about pushing out willpower upon others or reality but I didn’t realize it meant that.”
“I… I seem to have used my Reshiram power by accident, I think. I… I feel more… alert? No… at ease? No… awake. I feel more awake.”
Dawn became worried as she placed the back of her hand on his forehead while checking online for anything different in Unova.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking if we somehow woke up the progenitor Reshiram way too early and altered history.” After a minute, she sighed in relief and lowered her hand. “Well, you’re warmer than before but no sign of history changing, especially when it comes to Team Plasma since they were the ones to awaken the progenitor Reshiram.”
“I see. Well, back on track, we should go before Warden Melli arrives to clean the Temple and spot you trespassing.”
Dawn sighed.
“Of course, of course.” she said as the three headed back north, climbing down the mountain in the middle of sunset. They must have taken a different route up as they noticed and went down a path they haven’t noticed before.
A cold wind blew as they found themselves in what looked like a snowy field at night. Dawn blinked at that as Lady Sneasler growled, vigilant of her surroundings.
“Did… did we walk into a space-time distortion?” she asked. “It doesn’t feel right.”
“This place… it looks familiar…” Ingo said as he looked up at the night sky. His eyes widened in realization. “Dawn, can you show me that video the Sinnoh museum got from the phone they found? The one with my voice in it?”
Dawn pulled out her phone and the two watched the video then their surroundings.
“Okay, so, are we in the past and we’ll bump into past you or have we ended up a bit later on from you losing your phone? We can’t exactly grab it since it’ll result in a paradox since that’s how your brother found us.”
Before Ingo could reply, Lady Sneasler snarled. Another Ingo, younger with his uniform still in one piece, walked through him. A cold shiver went through the actual Ingo as they watched what’s likely an illusion repeat the same actions as in the video.
The trio then followed the illusion, keeping themselves away when the illusion climbed up a hill to the resulting scare by the Hisuian zoroark and the resulting run down.
“I would then run north and be found by the Pearl Clan.” Ingo said, stating his memory of the events while looking at the hill his phone had probably been resting on and eventually discovered centuries from now. Dawn was more focused on the illusion and checking her phone’s map function.
“Uh, that Ingo’s not going north, he’s going east… deeper into the woods.”
Ingo blinked at that before turning to spot the illusion was indeed running east into the woods. The trio silently agreed to follow the illusion, not noticing the distant eyes of a pair of zorua, one white and one black, looking at them from the hill, until they reached what looked like a space-time distortion before them.
“Wait, a space-time distortion within a space-time distortion?” Dawn said in confusion as she tried to figure out what’s going on. She then turned to Ingo. “Should we go in? I’m not sure if we should go in deeper but the other you went in…”
“Something strange is going on but we can’t find the Truth without heading out into the unknown.” Ingo said before facing Dawn. “Lady Sneasler and I will be with you either way.” he said, placing his hand on her elbow.
Ever so curious, Dawn nodded and took a step into the strange distortion.
The first thing they saw was a blinding flash of grayish dark teal light and the sensation of static and goosebumps through them, before they found themselves in front of a clearing.
At the center of the clearing was a boulder roughly carved into a tombstone with a pile of seemingly freshly laid dirt before it. On the pile of dirt rested a familiar white hat.
Here lies Ingo Tamadensha
A son, a brother, a conductor, a subway master, and a friend
“There is no terminal called End in your life!”
Dawn covered her mouth in shock at the sight, instinctively holding on to Ingo’s arm to prove he’s still with her.
The world then momentarily glitched with a snow of static.
An older Emmet was then before the grave, crying and muttering to himself. His white uniform stained green and brown.
The trio slowly went closer.
“... how… how did I find you months too late?” Emmet then slammed at the ground. “I COMMANDED TIME AND SPACE ITSELF TO FIND YOU!” the trio flinched back from the outburst as Emmet began to laugh at the injustice of it all. “Celebi warned that all possibilities are possible, even one of tragedy and that even she can’t force my timeline to follow certain tracks...” he then stood up and turned to face the mountain with his wide mad eyes. “They say the peak of the mountain rested the Creator, the Original One…” he then turned to face the grave with a too wide grin. “I’ll make this right Ingo, so just wait a little bit longer. We’ll be home soon. I am Emmet. And I like winning more than anything else. It’s the only thing I have left.”
The world then glitched once more with Emmet gone and what looked like the ghost of Ingo floated above his grave, facing the mountain. His frown looked deeper, almost a resigned despair.
“And then the mountain shatters…” the ghost said as the world shook. The trio turned to watch a grayish dark teal crack split Mount Coronet apart like a tree of unreality bursting forth from the ground before vanishing, leaving only a chasm where the mountain once stood and floating pieces of rock. The shattered pieces then floated up into a spiraling storm below a tear that was, and Dawn’s eyes began to hurt at the sight, nothing that was truly nothing. Neither black nor white, her mind struggled to see anything but something similar to television static and visual static tinted magenta. But she could feel that there was something behind that Festering Rupture on reality in the sky, a crack that seemed to reflect the very Coronet Mountain Range in its vast length and width.
Dawn kept staring at the nothingness. Her mind struggled to conceive of anything to fill the vacuum of information and the void of existential reality before her.
She didn’t notice Lady Sneasler glowing gold nor her Ingo glowing blue and white as she saw something in the void of non-existence.
Ingo, on the other hand, watched Dawn’s eyes glow a golden symbol over her pupils and irises, with four lines extending into the whites of her eyes. A circle with two arcs on its left and right, connected by four lines, the same symbol that graced the Temple of Sinnoh’s entrance frieze. He tried to shake her away from the sight of the shattered holy mountain and the sight of the glowing symbol on her eyes being out of sync with her actual eyes as they moved was surreal to see.
“Dawn.” Ingo whispered in his most quiet voice he could even after the years living in Hisui, hoping it’ll snap her out of it.
“What’s this? New fools for Euthymia to play with?” the ghost Ingo said as he turned his blank white eyes at the trio before looking at them in confusion before looking at Ingo even more crestfallen and despondent. “No… Emmet, please… tell me you didn’t…”
“Wait, you noticed us?” Ingo asked the ghost. The ghost looked more confused at them.
“How… how are you not possessed? The last guy who ended up here became Euthymia’s Fool… Is it the glowing?”
“Who is this Euthymia and their fool you’re talking about?”
“Euthymia is more of a what. A living emotion that wants to be more permanent and longer lasting… Well, it’s more accurate to say that they’re an anti-emotion. I’m no medical expert but I think they’re trying to usurp the real euthymia, if that makes sense. The fool is someone who somehow managed to end up in this place and watched this reality that shouldn’t be. Long story short, he’s now under the false euthymia’s control. Something about how he wanted a world without emotion that it latched onto him.”
“W-wait, what?” Dawn said, snapping out of her trance, turning to face the ghost. “Cyrus was here?”
“Cyrus?”
“Cyrus wanted to use Palkia and Dialga, the gods of space and time, to create a universe without spirit but Giratina dragged him into the Distortion World before he could accomplish that… did he end up wherever this place is?”
“The humanoid things here call it Shoth-Ithar, the Festering Rupture, a place where the future devours the past in a cannibalistic frenzy.” the ghost explained. “I lost count of the times I saw what the remnants of the inhabitants of this place did to themselves in each loop. As a ghost, I guess I’m outside their frenzy, then again, as a ghost I don’t have possible descendants to try to devour me.”
“Oh that’s just gross and messed up.” Lady Sneasler said with her arms crossed, shocking everyone else. “What?”
“You can talk? Wait, why are you two glowing?” Dawn asked as she looked at Ingo and Lady Sneasler. Lady Sneasler simply shrugged.
“I figured it’s magic or divine power or how weird this space is.” she said before glancing around. “We should leave before we get the notice of the other things that exist here.”
“Wait, before you go, other me, did my brother… did Emmet dragged you into this? I don’t know what happened to him but I know he’s still trying to get me back…”
“Your Emmet didn’t pull me into this mess as a replacement of you, that, at least, is the Truth.” Ingo said, much to the relief of the ghost. “Something else pulled me here…” he muttered to himself, still struggling to recall what pulled him into Hisui.
The snapping of nearby twigs made them turn to the source of the sound and they saw what could be best described as a humanoid static snow with glowing circles for eyes, watching them from the woods before slowly heading to them.
“It’s the unborn. Run! Before they eat your existence!” ghost Ingo shouted as Ingo noticed the same golden symbol appeared, floating in front of Dawn’s ears, giving the appearance of some mystical earphones. The thing screamed in static, static that Ingo could recognize as non-existent words of a language-that-does-not-exist.
1SG eat-FUT.DECL 2PL!
‘Subject-Verb-Object… first-person-singular… eat-future-tense-declarative-mood… second-person-plural…’ Ingo’s mind quickly filled in the linguistic gaps, knowledge he should not have known.
I will eat you!
The trio ran away from the clearing as the static thing went on all fours to chase after them. Lady Sneasler even picked up Dawn as they ran.
2PL.GEN form… 2PL.GEN history… 2PL.GEN future… 2PL.GEN name… 2PL.EX.GEN all 1SG eat-FUT!
‘Object-Subject-Verb… second-person-plural form… second-person-plural history… second-person-plural future… second-person-plural name… second-person-plural-exclusive all… first-person-singular… eat-future-tense!’
I will eat your form… your history… your future… your name… everything about you!
“Lady Sneasler, don’t fight it close! It’ll eat your existence piece by piece if you do so! Go with long range attacks!”
“If I had known I would need long ranged attacks, I would have learned Hyper Beam ages ago!” Lady Sneasler complained. “Where are we supposed to go!?”
“We need to go back where we entered! Exit the distortion! It’s somewhere through the thick fog!” Dawn shouted.
“What fog?”
“Didn’t you guys notice the fog that moved in? We better hurry, the thing in the fog is silent but it’s gaining speed! Over there! There’s an opening through the fog there!” Dawn pointed at their right.
“Okay, it’s clear that what you're seeing and hearing is completely different from what we’re hearing. I’m hearing noise from some human shaped thing.” Lady Sneasler said as they followed Dawn’s directions.
“I’m hearing what it’s screaming at us.” Ingo supplied. “It wants to eat our existence, to be short. It’s rather verbose and its language seems to be shifting in its structural order.”
“Okay, as much as I want to analyze what’s going on, let’s do it after we escape. Take a left!” Dawn shouted and with a sudden turn, they soon found themselves back out a layer in the distortion. The static noise and screaming suddenly came to an end.
They still ran a good distance away, just in case.
“Okay… good news, it doesn’t seem to exit the deeper distortion.” Dawn said as she pulled out her phone to take some photographs. “I need to warn people about that.” she explained. “‘Distortion within distortion leads to some horror movie fog world with Mount Coronet shattering, a massive rift with giant screaming space Emmet, and a fog monster that eats existence. Good news, it can’t leave the second distortion layer. It’s somewhere north of Coronet.’ and send.”
Lady Sneasler gave a deadpan stare at Ingo.
“Oh right, ���Also, there’s a ghost Ingo from another reality in said double distortion’. Hmm, anything else should I tell people?”
“Well, we should walk and talk while we can still understand each other. We still need to get away from this weird distortion.” Lady Sneasler said as she looked at her golden glow in curiosity. Dawn simply posted the message on her Chirper as they walked.
“I suggest heading back to the Temple of Sinnoh. This distortion is clearly not like any other distortion.” Ingo said, to everyone else’s agreement, while he looked at his glowing self. Dawn took a picture of the two before showing them the photo.
“Okay, Ingo’s glowing white with blue eyes, which makes sense for Reshiram, and Lady Sneasler’s glowing gold, which is associated with Arceus, so the whole thing with the nobles being blessed by Arceus, I mean, Almighty Sinnoh, has some truth to it.”
“Let’s not forget the golden ring on your eyes and ears that’s the shape of Arceus’ symbol as well.” Ingo pointed out. That made Dawn take a selfie and looked at the resulting photo before using her phone’s camera function as a mirror.
“Oh, oh wow. That is freaky. The ghost Ingo said something about being possessed, so maybe this was some protection from that. Since I see and hear things differently from yours, I probably got memetically protected from any hazardous information, the whole ‘things man was not meant to know’...”
“Honestly, you are so blase about all this.” Lady Sneasler commented. “We just saw a ghost, the holy mountain breaking apart, some thing that’ll probably haunt my nightmares, and we’re glowing and chatting like it’s normal.”
“Lady Sneasler, no offense, but I casually look for human ghosts and weak spots between realms, read through ancient grimoires, and try to practice magic as a hobby.”
“... in that context, that explains a lot about you.”
“What do you mean by ‘a giant space Emmet’?” Ingo asked as he still processed what happened.
“Well, the tear that split the sky in two, I kept looking at it and after a while, I saw flashes of what looked like Emmet screaming, trying to push himself into the world, though he looked very freaky. His bottom half was like a ponyta, I think, and he has multiple arms trying to crawl into the deeper distortion.”
Ingo and Lady Sneasler glanced at each other for a moment.
“We never saw anything like that, though I guess we were more focused on my ghostly double.” he said as they slowly walked up the slope of the mountain.
“Right. We should probably need to head back to Jubilife Village and report to the Galaxy Team. If Cyrus is here and possessed by some eldritch thing to be their puppet, we might need to save him as well.” Dawn said as the closer they reached the peak, the more the glowing faded away.
“Sneas sneasler…” Lady Sneasler said with a nod.
“Ah, it seems that strange effect has faded.” Ingo said, to which Lady Sneasler simply shrugged as they returned to the Temple of Sinnoh in the middle of the day. It was a sudden shift between a cold winter night on the slope and a bright sunny day at the peak.
A glance back revealed that the slope was never there at all.
“Wait, what?” Dawn said as the trio looked at the raised mountain edge on the northern side of the temple. “Where was the slope we used to head down?” she said as she went to feel solid rock that wasn’t there when they went up.
They then hear someone clear their throat.
Nearby was Warden Melli watching the three of them with a cleaning rag and a bucket of water.
“Warden Ingo, you do realize you’re not supposed to bring outsiders to the holy temple? Ugh, did the Pearl Clan not tell you the rules when it came to the Temple of Sinnoh, or has their carefree nature made you disregard the rules?”
Ingo glanced at Dawn and Lady Sneasler for a moment.
“I know the rules, Warden Melli, but since the Galaxy Team is going to be stationed in Hisui among the Clans, I believe it would be for the best to have a representative of the Galaxy Team do their part in maintaining the holy temple. Dawn herself wishes to record the temple as much as possible, hopefully for the chance for the future generations to repair and restore the ruins with the knowledge she passes on.”
Melli looked conflicted for a moment before he huffed.
“Well, even I can’t ignore that logic. Very well, I, the great Melli, would ignore this break in protocol if it means the galaxy grunt pulls her weight in cleaning the dirt off the holy temple’s stonework. Of course, since she has no idea what to do, I will be supervising her actions. The last thing we want is the ancient paint being scrubbed off.” he said as he walked back to the temple.
Dawn sighed and thanked Ingo as the trio went to help clean up the temple. She did glance back at the solid rock where the slope once existed, wondering how it appeared when they were heading down.
A mystery to solve in another time and place.
#lucid twin dragons au#fanfic#world building#pokemon legends arceus#submas#fanfiction#worldbuilding#pokemon fanfic#my writing#submas au#pokemon dawn#pokemon akari#pokemon ingo#subway boss ingo#warden ingo#pokemon melli#sneasler#pokemon emmet#cosmic horror#pokemon volo
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Should Laws Be Implemented To Protect Children’s Privacy Online?
By Ashley Carrasquillo, Mercy College Class of 2025
April 30, 2023
Multiple social platforms, including Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and more, have creators (those who make content and post it) who are known for their content about their children.
Family vloggers on YouTube became immensely popular due to relatability, information about and for young teens (popular in educating young women about puberty and products to carry), or as an escape from everyday life.
For many viewers they looked forward to watching a daily vlog involving their most watched family vlogger.
Family vlogging became popular in 2008, the early days of YouTube and had its time from 2012-2018 until most of their viewers had grown up and moved away from the genre of content.
In the past few year’s children, now adults, had come out revealing what went on behind the camera. How the family vlogs where the only income the family had, and this was the children’s job. Or in worse case scenarios, how they were being abused behind the camera.
This turnaround should not be surprising. Children were being exploitation for views through titles ranging from “shopping for period kits”,
There has been a resurgence, perhaps family vlogging never went away, through other platforms. The topics invading children’s privacy. What was once a “shopping for a period kit” is now “supporting our trans child”. While topics like this should be addressed, young kids (15 and under) should not be sharing their experiences to an audience or platform that can exploit the information.
This “genre” is still new. However, with social media growing there should be adequate laws to address the children that are being displayed for the whole world to see.
At this point only one state has introduced child rights legislation to protect children in the videos posted online about them or centering towards them.
The proposed law, House Bill 1627, would protect minor children featured on vlogs. This bill aims to protect children. Although it is only at state level. This bill cannot stop family vloggers everywhere. There’s a possibility that family vloggers would move away from Washington state, where the bill was proposed, and go to another state.
The “influencers” with social media being their full-time job to showcase their lives is only growing. This is due to influencers trying to show how different their lives are every day with their children being the star. Whether that is through the number of kids they have if they’ve adopted children, or their children’s personal lives.
These influencers have been pushed onto the main pages for what is deemed as their family friendly content.
There is an argument to be made that while this is legal, is it moral.
Some of the children of family vloggers have had their whole life documented. All they know is life in front of a camera.
The internet is one of the most accessible forms of content today. Despite many of these influencers being in their twenties and documenting their children, YouTube, has a policy that you must be 13 years old in order to be on the website. This policy does not apply to the parents who can make close or over six figures in documenting their lives.
Implementing laws to address this new and changing platform of content creators who exploit their children for views and money. It is the children whose lives and privacy that should be protected.
______________________________________________________________
Heritage Herald. “Family Vlogging and the Legal Exploitation of Children.”
The Heritage Herald, 31 Jan. 2022,
https://heritageherald.com/2022/01/31/family-vlogging-and-the-legal-exploitation-of-children/
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I guess people do pinned posts instead of bios now?
Why not take a listen to some of my files?
If you're feeling generous, check out my custom file info!
The basics:
Please call me AC or Hidden! Either one works, but I prefer Hidden for when I am more dominant. That's not a hard and fast rule, though
My pronouns are he/him/his exclusively
I am a trans man (obviously). I have been on t since 2019, I've had top surgery but no bottom surgery yet.
I am currently 20 years old, but who knows if I'll remember to update that (making this post in November of 2021)
I am a switch, but I definitely lean more submissive.
I do not have a tist or sub and am not seeking one.
I am gay and prefer male and masculine nonbinary trance partners. I don't mind being hypnotized by women, or women listening to my files, though (I elaborate on this under the cut.)
I have a boyfriend. At time of writing, he doesn't know about my hypnokink.
My other kinks include [bold is dom only, italics is sub only, both means both]: edging, orgasm control, pet play, trigger play, light bondage, IQ reduction, humiliation and drug play
My limits include: bathroom stuff, forced fem, permanent triggers (aside from my trance trigger), detransitioning, misgendering, findom, any pain
For some FAQs that haven't been asked by anyone, see below!
I wanna send you an ask, but I'm too nervous!
Don't be! I don't take myself very seriously, and you shouldn't take me very seriously either. Just keep the above information in mind, and remember to treat me like a human being.
What is your trance trigger?
I'm not telling you that, silly.
Do you have an upload schedule?
Nope. I do this stuff as a hobby. I have a part time job, and I'm a college student- I just record when I have the time to do it. Making an upload schedule would just slow me down.
Where can I find all your files?
On my soundgasm!
What got you into hypnosis? / A brief history of my experiences with hypnokink
When I was very young and had unrestricted access to deviantart, I saw a comic featuring some girls being hypnotized by the pokemon Hypno. My older sibling and I were using the family computer (yeah, back when that was a thing,) so I was mostly watching them go on deviantart rather than exploring myself. I kept asking my sibling to go back to the comic so I could look at it again and again. Something about it just drew me in. Mesmerized me, even lol. Later, I saw a movie which had a scene where the main antagonist essentially hypnotizes the female lead, and again I wanted to watch that scene over and over. Part of that may have been undiagnosed ADHD, but that's besides the point.
As I got older and started going through puberty, I realized my attraction to these scenes and concepts was sexual in nature. From there, I started listening to audio hypnosis files on the internet (much like the ones I make now) and got into porn featuring hypnosis. Sometimes, I would go on Omegle to try and be hypnotized by real live people on there, but it was (and still is) a mostly adult crowd, who were unwilling to hypnotize a teenager- good on them! Later, I got into the hypnoerotica community on tumblr. I never liked any posts or followed any of the blogs while I was still a minor, but I loved the content. Unfortunately, most of my favorites were wiped out in the 2017 porn ban.
I didn't start seeking out live hypnosis in earnest until I was an adult. I go on Omegle in phases (it's a miserable fucking site, but every now and then you find a gem!), but I've also used r/hypnohookup. Most of those encounters never went anywhere, but if you've seen my "met an honest to god hypnodom" post, you know that I had one good one. I was a dedicated submissive to that guy for a while, but he really wanted to be my boyfriend and I didn't want that, so I left. Some time after that, I realized that I could probably hypnotize other people myself, and got into being a tist.
I have never been hypnotized in person, but I really want to someday!
What do you like about hypnosis?
I say I have a hypnosis kink, but it would really be more accurate to say I have a trance kink. I love the feeling of my mind slipping away, the relaxation and peace, etc. I struggle with anxiety, so it can be really nice to have someone just take away my thoughts for a bit. That, and the feeling of being controlled completely and utterly is thrilling.
As a tist, I care less about my personal pleasure as much as giving my subs a good time. I consider myself a "service tist", in that way. Honestly, I just copy what I would do to myself unless a sub has a specific request.
What's up with your sexuality?
If you asked me to describe my sexuality in one word, it'd be "gay". One word is rarely enough to describe sexuality, though. The best way to put it is that I am attracted to masculine and transmasc people.
Why would you want to be hypnotized by a woman, then?
Because I am desperately thirsty for trance. It's nearly impossible to find content geared specifically towards gay trans men, so I have to take what I can get.
How do you feel about women getting off to your content?
Honestly, if you're a woman and my files/stories/art turn you on, awesome! I make most of my files gender neutral for a reason (I may make genital-specific JOI files later), and that's because I want to make stuff anyone can enjoy.
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FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS
Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:
1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)
I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.
2. Black Butler (2008-2014)
I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.
3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)
My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.
4. The Good Place (2016-2020)
The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.
5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)
Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.
6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)
This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.
7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)
While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!
8. Big Mouth (2017-?)
This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???
9. Dexter (2006-2013)
I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.
10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)
This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.
11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)
A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.
12. House (2004-2012)
Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.
13. The Office (2005-2013)
The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.
14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)
Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.
15. Bones (2005-2017)
One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.
16. The Simpsons (1989-?)
We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.
17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)
Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?
18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)
Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.
19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)
Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.
20. Winx Club (2004-?)
Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)
Honorable Mentions:
13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh
Tagging: @bullet-farmer and anyone else who wants to!
#avatar the last airbender#the last airbender#avatar#legend of korra#the legend of korra#lok#atla#seinfeld#the good place#brooklyn nine nine#brooklyn 99#rick and morty#orange is the new black#oitnb#big mouth#dexter#once upon a time#ouat#house md#house#rupaul's drag race#the office#all hail king julien#the penguins of madagascar#bones#the simpsons#ash vs evil dead#malcolm in the middle#a series of unfortunate events#asoue
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:o Do you have any Ayato sexuality headcanons? Like him being gay and aromantic asexual mayhaps? 😏
I do! I’ve been meaning to talk more about this absolute bastard!
Ayato didn’t come of age under the best circumstances. He’s going through puberty in Aogiri, and they aren’t exactly great at guiding a young boy through a battlefield let alone puberty, so he’s doing Very Bad With All That
He’s both gay and homophobic, this dumbass has problems
Homophobia isn’t all that common with ghouls. Because of their “talk shit get hit” policy, bigotry gets nipped in the bud by hordes of queer ghouls who eat those people alive both metaphorically and literally. Unfortunately for Ayato, Aogiri has some… less than great ideas on what makes ghouls great. A lot of it is weird, bordering on eugenics-y “we’ve bred and evolved for greatness and our children’s blood will be thick with the power of our strongest” and all that. He is brought into this unique situation where “good” is living on to reproduce and make strong children, and “bad” is his personal experiences with Jason and Nico who are the only queer people he knows of. These are absolute dogshit role models but this emotionally neglected teenager doesn’t have anything better
Things do get better when he gets dragged kicking and screaming back to anteiku. While adjusting to living there again, he sees Kaneki and Hide kiss and immediately recoils because THEY ARE BEING GAYS
After awhile of “is this allowed?” and probably saying some slurs, Ayato gets reintroduced to the Talk Shit Get Hit policy by his sister. He’s made to sit down and get talked to about why the fuck he thinks like that, he tells them about how things like that were portrayed in Aogiri, and it’s pretty clear that this dude just legit doesn’t know what gay people are. They just try their best to teach him about different identities. He catches on pretty quick and even reluctantly apologizes to Ken and Hide, and he just tries to put the whole thing behind him
The thing is though, Ayato is gay as shit. He just thought everyone wasn’t attracted to girls but was just supposed to go with them anyway, and his little teen crush on Nishiki isn’t helping him pretend that he doesn’t like guys. Plus now he has access to the internet. Unfortunately for him he doesn’t know what an Internet history is so it took two clicks for Touka to find pages and pages of “boys kissing”
It takes him awhile to come out, and even then he just grumbled that he was gay quietly while in the car with Touka and Renji. They told the cafe when they got back, and once Ayato was done being angry that there was a betting pool on how long it would take him to come out, he was surprised by how little it changed. Only now his family and several anteiku guys are openly telling him about all the things he’s done that made them knew he was fruity years before he did. It seems like he was the last to know
He’s still figuring things out, but it’s looking like he’s a gay greyromantic. He likes boys romantically on rare occasions, though mostly he’s So Horny All The Time and dudes are So Pretty. He’s not so big on the details though, if anyone ever asks him about it he’ll just say he’s queer and never specify
Speaking of So Horny All The Time, At some point Touka had to teach him how to delete computer history because they use the same laptop and he’s been looking up some Things she Does Not Want To See. They’re both embarrassed and they never talk about it again
Once ghouls are decriminalized he can go to high school and interact with other kids his age. By now he’s the first to put someone’s head through a locker if they’re being homophobic. He’s also met a cute human boy that he’s been trying not to threaten with violence because he cannot cope with feeling all soft and giddy over someone
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I’m a girl (18 now) who got exposed/addicted to pornography at a really young age, and I wanted to share my specific story on this blog so that the platform can get it out there.
Under the cut is my full story, and it’s a little long winded, so if you don’t want to read the whole thing, I bolded in purple the general topic/idea of that section. Just look for whichever of those interests you and the section will be about that. The first and last paragraph are good for context and end goal, though.
Thank you.
I don't fully remember my first exposure to porn. I know I was in third grade (6-7 yrs old, I had skipped a grade). The reason I had wanted to share my story, in fact, is because I don't see many stories with circumstances similar to mine. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. 1. The person is a victim of CSA/grooming. 2. The person was at a generally pubescent age (~11-14). And/or 3. The person experienced porn as a quick disturbance. To be clear, these stories are as valid and important as mine, and I simply think more perspectives make evidence of the effects of porn more airtight. I've never been the victim of SA, harassment, or grooming, ever in my life. My story shows the effects of exclusively porn.
The first memory I can recall about this was actually the first time I got caught. I was 6 yrs old, and very into video games,so on this day, I was playing a 3D porn game on my crappy hand-me-down laptop. I kind of knew that what I was doing wasn't acceptable, so I was sitting in my room in the corner as far from my door as possible. My mom walked in so I just slammed the laptop shut because I wasn't that good at hiding things. My mom obviously asked what I was doing, and I tried to keep her from looking, but it was right there when she reopened it. This is where the battle of it begins.
From ages 6-14 I don't have a good timeline of events but a few pop out that exemplify the severity of the issue. These are very probably out of order.
I got an iPod Touch for Christmas (~6-7), and every night I would watch porn on it until they caught on. I literally still remember some names of the sites, most that don't even exist anymore. My parents have always been amazingly caring. I couldn't ask for more. During the earlier ages (~6-8) I was put with a child therapist for fear of a deeper issue. My parents started either taking technology away in the night and/or setting restrictions on the internet. Unfortunately, between my slight tech-savvy, and my crazed addiction at this point, this wasn't a solution.
The addiction got DEEP. It warped my brain. When I had no technology, I used everything I could find.
Whenever I had access to less restricted internet, I used it. Once I asked my older cousin to use her iPod and watched it on there.(she noticed and told my mom. I remember my mom had asked me "Is there anything you need to tell me?", and I knew what she meant, but I just said "nope!" and walked away. At one point my dad's work provided him with a Blackberry, and I asked him could I play one of the built in little games. Once I had it, I watched porn. (when I gave it back to him he pressed the "back" button, and I was caught.)
I used Youtube. This was when YouTube was way less moderated (back when the app was a little old timey TV). I learned I could look up "striptease" and "nip-slip" and other stuff like that, finding more soft-core videos that could suffice when the internet in general was locked down.
I straight-up found out ways to disable the restrictions. Once I found out my mom's PIN for the controls, I went and disabled them, but changed the PIN so it would look like they were still on, and so that she couldn’t access and re-enable them. (I made it 7399. Spells "sexy". My mind was a mess.)
My parents bought a book called "The Classical Tradition". I'm just learning now as I'm looking it up that it was a Harvard Reference Library book (probably why it was so damn thick) about ancient Greek and Roman culture. I didn't know that. I had realized that sprinkled throughout the book there were pages that were more glossy than the rest, which you could see from the sides of the pages (the book was HUGE). These were the photo paper, which had the classical paintings and sculptures. And because these had nudity (Think "The Birth of Venus" type) I would regularly flip through this book when I needed a "fix". Absurd.
My parents got me an American Girl book that was made to ease worries about the developmental years. The pages on breast development / the anatomy of the vagina were what I looked at the most. When my parents had gotten me the child therapist, there was the logical fear that I might have been molested. The therapist gave me a book where there was a page with two cartoon mice, a boy and a girl. They were wearing swimwear/underwear and the point of that was "anywhere the clothing is covering is somewhere that adults can't touch you without telling.” They might as well have been stick figures, there was NO detail. But since they were in ‘underwear’ I'd always look at that page a lot. Anything barely vaguely sexual.
During this part of my life, I got no real pleasure out of this, I was just obsessed. For the first year I even watched it on mute out of fear of being caught. The lowest point during this period was when I very unfortunately filmed a video of me touching myself. I got nothing out of it and had no intent on ever sending or posting it. I was just emulating what I had been seeing. I deleted it the next day. I was 9 then.
From puberty until now (11-18) is when my sexuality was shaped by it. The addiction was far more controllable, I could spend a couple weeks to a couple months without it, but I'd always come back. Because it was now tied to my body. And while my need for it to be constant was gone, now I had to deal with the tolerance issue.
Over time what I watched became more and more depraved. I had the personal preference of hating anything amateur, because of the low quality, so I managed to avoid anything obviously non-consensual or involving visibly underaged girls, but that doesn't really mean much with the stuff the studios were putting out. During the middle points it got REALLY violent and disturbing. Bordering on torture (extreme kink) and even bodily deformation. As a young woman, I couldn't really tolerate any of the role based Kinks (father-daughter, babysitter, schoolgirl), so more extreme for me meant more extreme acts. Just absolute destruction of women's bodies for the purposes of sex. I moved away from that when tumblr banned porn and I started using reddit for it, and also during that time I was realizing how fucked up of an addiction that this was, even before I found feminism/anti-porn. I actively started trying to quit it, for good. But I always went back.
One big effect is heavy confusion with my sexual orientation. A lot of people face this, but the addition of porn for me really throws things off. Like: Am I bi, and a form of comphet/denial/inexperience keeps me from seeing women in a romantic way? Is it a mix of that and porn? (relatively likely) Or am I just straight, and the porn has completley shaped my mind (likely). 90% of the time I watched solo female content or lesbian content, and could only stand to watch certain specific forms if it included men at all. In real life I find a fair amount of men attractive but their bodies in a sexual sense are tolerable at best, but usually cringe inducing. l've never been attracted to a woman romantically, but exclusively women's bodies are sexual to me. It feels like everything in my brain that I would have been able to use in order to figure myself out has been permanently overwritten with incorrect information. Because of porn.
I've still got it bad. Every once in a while, I’ll read something vaguely sexual, or see a woman in a risque photo, and then the seed is planted. I'll always say "I'm not going to do it, I always feel disgusting after, it’s not even really enjoyable at this point, I can do better than this”. I always give in the end of the night. I'm 7 days off of it. I've been on this earth for 18 years. 12 of those years I've been cripplingly addicted to pornography. Two thirds of my life, and for as long as I can remember. I can never undo it. Just like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, only able to achieve remission, I will always be a porn addict. I have to be careful. But I have to hope for the future. And with finding the community that is speaking the truth about this, I'm heartened to do better. To no longer be held down by an addiction to consuming my own oppression.
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Developing Sexuality, Discovering Kinks, a Spinal Injury, and Barely Beginning to Explore the Edges of the LGBTQ+ Community
Howdy, y’all. I’m just gonna put this out there - If it’s not for you, just keep on a’scrollin’!
Now, I’ve not really explicitly spoken about my sexuality and how it’s evolved over my almost five decades of life. So, I’m about to start, and believe me, your patience and kindness will be appreciated. If you choose to be a close-minded, conservative, cis-asshole then I strongly suggest you leave right the fuck now. Thank you :-)
If you want to get to know me a little bit more and talk of incontinence and sexuality doesn’t scare you, please continue!
Decade 01: Around four years old, I have my first memories of things related to my as yet totally undeveloped sexuality. No history of physical abuse - Don’t worry about that. It was finding my mother’s menstrual pads. I saw pictures of them in underwear, so I took one and put it into mine. It felt so right and so amazing! I don’t really know how to describe it, but it felt like I needed the whole package of them in my underwear all at once! I got in trouble for using up a package that my mom needed and I didn’t understand why she needed them yet. But I made my first “diaper” out of pads and tighty-whities when I was only four years old. Since I’m gonna be using a lot of numbers, I’m gonna cheat and sacrifice the “proper way” of spelling them out if they’re ten or less.
At 5, I knew I wasn’t built right. I had this thing I peed through that girls didn’t have. Boys had them. But I wasn’t supposed to be a boy! I didn’t like it and hated the feeling of it touching my legs (still do...). I started asking questions about things. Now, my parents are the stereotypical Boomers, “trapped” in a loveless marriage by dependent children and their own sense of “honor.” Dad was a Medical Corpsman who became a Physician’s Assistant (PA) after retiring, while Mom used to be a Wave (nurse) in the Navy, but became a stay-at-home Mom when she started having children. I’ve 2 brothers and 1 sister, the last of them born 10 years before me. So, when I questioned things, Dad’s response was usually to hand me a medical book and tell me to look it up. Mom’s response was usually, “go ask your father.” So, there I was, a 5-year old with a head full of partially-understood terminology (at best!) and a bunch of clinical photography in anatomy and physiology books. At least I learned the purely physical differences between boys and girls and why I was one and not the other. This made me mad. So. Very. Mad. I cried a lot for a while, finding out that I would never become what I feel I was supposed to be. But I kept reading....
When I was 6 years old, I wrote a letter to my parents explaining how I felt about my body and how it made me feel inside and how I wished I could change and be the girl I’m supposed to be and would they be ok with helping me do this some day?
It was not received well. Not well at all. I’ve spent the last 40 years trying to get over their reaction to it and I still hate them for their reactions with a passion. I feel like I was truly shattered, and the glue I’ve had to use over the years to put myself back together has never been the right type and pieces of me keep falling apart.
Entering Decade 02 (10 to 20 years old): Puberty, damn it! None of my “researches” had even hinted at ways to stop it, and my body started changing in ways that made me very uncomfortable, but there was also this attraction I kept feeling towards some people, and I started getting erections. Now, I knew what was happening and yes, it did feel good to play with myself, but it also felt wrong in that I should have someone entering me, not me entering them, so when I masturbated that’s what I dreamed of - being entered and feeling them expand inside me, them giving themselves up in me, losing control and exploding into me and feeling their satisfaction as my own at having been so desirable. Cockwarming them gently back to hardness and having my own way with their body as their hands stroked my breasts and hips.... Eventually I would orgasm in real life, while dreaming my dream.
I have never had a blow-job. Several girlfriends have attempted, but honestly that’s like the fastest way to shut me down. It instantly kills my dream between one heart-beat and the next, causing me to feel absolutely horrible about myself and this carcass I’m trapped in. I should be going down on you, tasting, caressing, nuzzling and lapping up your wetness as I get more and more achy and wet for you.... Sticking my dick in your mouth is absolutely the worst thing that can happen during any attempt at sexy-times for me. I’d rather have diarrhea on a crowded school-bus.
The problem was, I had been emotionally terrorized by my parents (and now I know how they controlled my access to information...) and the area I grew up in was populated by fairly conservative folks, so I had no exposure to other ways of living and had no idea I could express my sexuality in any way other than by being masculine with it. Ergo, I was very much in the closet, hiding my thoughts and feelings as best I knew how, and retreated from situations that might expose my inner workings. Hence, I’m an introvert who overshares o.0 Start unstacking the bricks from my walls and Watch Out! You might get more than you bargained for :-\
Decade 03 (20 to 30 years old): I was just positive I didn’t want kids. Also had no clue what to do with myself, so I landed in Alaska for about a decade. Isolated, small town, conservative folks (a church on every corner, attended at least twice a week). Repressive. No sex for 8 of those 10 years. Met my (now ex-) wife up there. Internet actually got off the ground and we bought a computer, modem, and had an AOL account! This was around 2002′ish or so. Yeah, I watched the twin towers fall on a tv in a bar in Alaska. But while in Fairbanks, I discovered the old Usenet Newsgroups... and that led me straight back into my diaper-fetish which I’d almost forgotten about... omg, seeing those first photos... I can’t describe the feelings that burned in me.
Decade 04 (30 to 40 years old): Left Alaska and moved to western Washington State. Worked as a Medical Assistant for about 5 years, then re-invented myself as a welder when I got a Federal job. Learning a whole new trade wasn’t easy. Shittons of practice later I was good at it and loving my career, until a toolbag fell on my head in 2008. It could have killed me had I been in any other position. As it was, it hit the top of my head while my spine was almost perfectly straight up’n’down, causing a couple of discs in my neck to blow out. One completely ruptured and the other bulged so badly it could never heal and restricted my movement (couldn’t look up or pull my chin in). To this day I still have a smallish “shadow” on my cervical spinal nerve where the disc exploded and a “dent” where the next one down bulged out. The doctors think that’s why I’m incontinent and really struggle to get hard-ons anymore.
Here’s the rub: I’ve hated this body of mine forever. I’m not supposed to get hard-ons in the first place! I’m supposed to have breasts, hips, hair, a flat front and a curvy bottom, and you should be making passes at me, not vice versa!
So, rather than pursue medical (surgical) options to deal with the urinary and occasional fecal incontinence, I choose to wear diapers and give myself regular enemas. This way I can kinda (mostly) control the #2 and keep it from happening in public, while I can let my bladder just run on it’s built-in autopilot (which is really random, btw). Wearing diapers also helps me with tucking! I can pull the dick out, pop the balls up inside where they belong, tuck the dick as far back as I can and put my diaper on tight. Bingo! A flat front! And a bit of a poofy bottom! YES!!
Decade 05 (40 to 47′ish years old): I’m beginning to feel slightly more confident in my sexuality, though I’m still not comfortable actually trying to seek out anyone special... but yeah - I’m an introvert by nature. Probably need to get adopted by someone because I’m not sure I’ll ever really be brave enough to really reach out first.... But now I’m able to afford nice diapers, I’m buying women’s jeans/pants/sweaters/onesies, and I’m feeling so much better about myself when I’m able to dress up. Keeping my chest and legs shaved helps, too. When I look down and see long, course, curly body-hair... ugh. Hair in the armpits and groin is what’s normal. Chest hair? Get it off! Looking at myself in the mirror, I still hate many aspects of my physical self, but when I’m freshly shaved, diapered and wearing women’s jeans and a lovely pink sweatshirt or just lounging around in a cute diaper and huge sweater, I’m much more able to ignore the things I don’t like.
Lately, as I’ve begun exploring my sexuality a little more, I’ve discovered the joys of dildos. Lemmie tell you what, guys. A traditional male orgasm doesn’t hold a candle to what I’ve felt while playing with a good dildo. After a good, thorough clean-out in the shower (I have a shower-attachment with multiple nozzles and use the long black rubber one), I’ve used a dildo that’s got a bit of a bend near the tip - it’s shaped like a real penis, normal size (not humongous), with a bit of a crook near the glans. By holding the balls & suction cup in hand, it can be inserted and moved in-n-out at that perfect angle to stimulate *all* the right spots inside... I can honestly say I’ve peed, cum, and blew that dildo across the room as my knees hit the floor and I forgot my name during the best, most intense, can’t-walk-for-a-minute whole-body orgasms I’ve ever experienced in my life. The area between the anus and scrotum feels so very hot and heavy, like it’s going to burst, it’s not truly painful but almost close? - It’s an amazingly satisfying feeling. I’d love to hear from you girls out there... Are my orgasms anything similar to yours?
Some day, my dream is to meet someone who can understand me, who can feel where I’m coming from, who can love me even when I’m having difficulty loving myself. Someone who is kind to my broken soul, and who’s idea of a hot date may involve a stop at the adult toy store!
Edited on 01OCT2021: I’m not looking for a Mommy or a Domme. I’m an adult with adult responsibilities and concerns. I’m looking for a partner who’s also fairly self-sufficient. I own my own home, work full time, and being an introvert I need lots of alone time. Someone who’s open and accepting of the fact that I’m diapered 24/7/365 and am perfectly capable of changing myself. And she’ll understand that I don’t just wanna get her out of her jeans for sexy-times, but I also wanna try them on.
Edited again on 02OCT2021: As I’ve just begun actually exploring my sexuality, I’m starting to think I seem to fit into the “enby” grouping (even as I don’t like being stuffed into a box, I find myself doing just that, to myself! Damn categories...). I don’t know all the lingo yet and it feels like the terminology is a living thing that is always changing. Even though I’ve always found women to be super attractive, and I also really enjoy wearing women’s clothes and have dreamed of being a woman for decades, every once in a blue moon a guy really turns me on. I’ve got fantasies about going down on her while he enters me, his hands on my hips pulling me in as he gently thrusts, speeding up slowly as I’m getting wetter, he’s sliding in and out of me faster and faster and I’m lapping up her juices, buried in her scent, the orgasm in all of us building until we simultaneously explode. Then, once we all have our breath back, each of us gently diapers one another. The idea of feeling my diaper sticking to my bum as his seed dribbles out of me is really turning me on again right now! Hearing our crinkles as we move, cuddling in a contented pile, patting bottoms all around.
Am I a “bottom?” Is there such a thing as an independent “bottom”? More research is needed!
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The mistakes people make when trying to understand trans people. (Not gonna say cis people, it can take trans people a while to figure this stuff out too.) Not necessarily in this exact order. CW: Discussion of transphobic and transmisogynistic concepts, genitals mentions.
Your gender is determined by your body (genitals/chromosomes/whatever) and is immutable (and also intersex people don’t exist but that’s a whole ‘nother topic.) Anyone who says otherwise is wrong or delusional.
OK, maybe there’s some trans people, but only men and women, and they’re not really men/women until they’ve “fully transitioned” (back to your genitals determining your gender.)
And it’s a very, very, very rare thing and only shows up one way: having a consistent sense of being the other binary gender from a young age, being intensely miserable living as the assigned gender, ending up straight, ending up gender conforming, etc.
Also they’re not really men and women, they’re some sort of in between freak of nature. (Referring to a trans woman as “they”, etc.)
OK, maybe trans people’s genitals aren’t anyone else’s business. But they at least have to look like their gender, otherwise how is anyone supposed to take them seriously? (Also: why do trans people get so angry all the time? It’s a mystery.)
OK, trans men are men and trans women are women. But...that means they’re exactly the same as cis men and women in every meaningful way. (Including, at the absurd extremes, things like who needs pap smears etc. At marginally less absurd extremes, figuring trans men don’t have anything meaningful to say about patriarchy based on lived experience, because apparently gender identity means everybody retroactively knew what your real gender was your whole life.)
Trans men’s experiences and trans women’s experiences have to be mirror images of each other. In particular: if a trans women wants to start using women’s restrooms and not men’s as soon as she starts dressing like a woman, and a trans man wants to keep using women’s bathrooms while he’s transitioning, one of them has to be wrong.
Non-binary people don’t really exist, you can humor them but they’re basically just people of their assigned gender playing around.
Non-binary people exist, but only if they look androgynous.
Non-binary people exist, and are (all) a third in-between or genderless category.
Non-binary people can all be simplified down to “basically men” or “basically women”. (”Woman-aligned” etc.)
All non-binary people can give you an extremely precise explanation of their gender identity, it’s never “well I think I’m not this and I’m pretty sure I’m not that and some days I feel this and other days I feel...”
Trans people can be divided into two categories: real trans people, and “transtrenders” who are just pretending to be trans. Because that’s a normal thing to do.
Real trans status has to be earned through suffering
(Binary) trans people can’t be interested in the same sex
Trans people can’t be gender non-conforming
Trans people have to medically transition or at least want to; medical transition is the only form of transition; if you’re not 100% sure you want to medically transition then doing more easily reversed things like experimenting with hair or clothes or asking people to use different gendered terms for you, is pointless.
Everybody has exactly one gender. Or at most one.
Genders other than “male” and “female” are made up (in a way that “male” and “female” are not)
If I personally can’t imagine being transgender, then it must not be real.
Being non-binary means you have to actively want to destroy the gender binary/identifying as non-binary is inherently a political statement.
More people identifying as trans is bad for gay people, gays/lesbians and trans people have conflicting interests, being trans is more acceptable to the general public than being gay and trans people are mostly actually gay people who get pushed into identifying as trans for greater social acceptance.
Puberty blockers are totally the same thing as HRT and allowing minors access to appropriate medical treatment is pushing an agenda on to them. Doing nothing is neutral and can’t possibly cause harm.
Detransitioning or shifting from a binary trans to a non-binary identity is betraying the cause/is evidence the person made a mistake by transitioning regardless of how they see it/is evidence that there should be more barriers to medical transition.
You have to get your identity right the first time: asking people to use different pronouns for you and then changing to new ones or back to your original pronouns, means you’re not taking this seriously.
In general, asking people to use different pronouns for you should be one of the last steps in the process, after more expensive and less reversible measures like hormone therapy, not one of the earliest.
Unless you’re 100% sure you’re trans, you’re definitely cis.
Real trans people never second guess themselves.
Welp, that’s 18 28 items which is a bunch more than I expected to get to. I’m just kind of playing around with ideas in my head here. Happy to have anyone add on.
(This is meant for trans people mostly, so please don’t be hostile on this thread. If you’re confused and want to know more I'd recommend that questions show up in my ask box off anon so if you accidentally say something hurtful/offensive, I can reply privately. Like, I’m not going to be hurt and I’m not going to judge if it seems to be coming from a place of not knowing rather than overt hostility, and I’d rather you ask than just be confused. Having said that, I’m terrible at actually responding to asks, so you might do better with someone else or seeing what you can come up with from internet searches.)
#transgender#trans#transphobia#cissexism#misconceptions about being trans#transmisogyny#that word that I always forget about nonbinary genders#lgbtq+#nonbinary
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Dear Mr. Kuri, thank you so much for your recent post concerning the young artist who was effectively censored from sharing his/her/their art on a particular subject (just... so sad). I was hoping to get your thoughts on how adults might navigate interactions with minors in this space. Specifically, extending our support for their work w/out necessarily... engaging with them. I know this sounds crazy stupid but before tumblr I wasn't really active on any social media and I had no idea (cont'd)
there were so many users under the age of 16 on this site. I've even come to learn that some identified users I had interacted with early on were as young as 13, and as someone in my 30's - tbh that scared the shit out of me. I totally agree that someone that young and impressionable would be crushed by the kind of criticism that poor artist faced, and would likely never create or share again... to their detriment. The thing is though, I feel really hesitant following any creator (cont'd)
that isn't 18 or older... What are your thoughts on following/reblogging/interacting with minors in fandom? I fully agree that they need support, especially from older users who don't care what some stranger on the internet has to say... but I just feel... like I don't know how to go about that the right way. I really REALLY don't want minors on my blog at all... sorry to bother you with this, just wondering how you'd suggest handling this. I didn't comment on the post bc I didn't (cont'd)
want to risk that young artist reading my inquiry and feeling even more alienated. As always, thank you for your time and insight. - Birk
I may go a bit off-topic here, but let me give this a try:
I think in, In the end, it all comes down to communication and mutual respect.
Adults have this pervading mentality that until a child hits 18, they need to be infantilized and sheltered, but once they pass that magical number, then it’s a free for all. So, for eighteen years, it’s all about sticking a Potemkin village in front of any idea, person or situation that a child might find uncomfortable (read: they don’t like the feelings it gives them; very different from actual harmful ideas/persons/situations). Then, these sheltered almost-adults enter public spaces and expect society to keep doing that…when it turns out that’s not how it works, they become toxic.
This is how poisonous movements like purity-culture develop online, or new fans who demonize older fans and adults as being perverts for enjoying the very same pastimes they have.
For those of us interacting with these people, the automatic reaction is to “cancel” that person, thereby alienating and isolating them even more in their bad behavior. Instead of taking the time to talk with and try to show them through actions that the world isn’t limited to what they know.
As adults in fandom, we know that a large majority of the fandom is younger, because we were them once. We were that 12-year-old discovering fanfiction existed or sharing drawings we made of our original Harry Potter characters or quoting our favorite movies and televisions ad infinite. We got shit for it in real life, so we had to create spaces of our own online.
We, in effect, built fandom so that it would be more welcoming for the generations that came after us. And while a lot of us stick to that unwritten knowledge, as the years pass, a lot more become gatekeepers. They set a standard of what a fan must know or do to be considered a “real” fan, and they’re mean about how they do that.
Is it any wonder that new fans coming in experience this behavior and then jump on the “adults in fandom is creepy” bandwagon?
These new fans coming in, especially tweens and teens, they still live in this false reality where they only get to enjoy themselves and be kids for a limited amount of time, and once they Become Adult they have to give it all up—and can’t figure out why all those old creeps online are still a part of such “childish” things.
That fault lies squarely on our society, which pushes kids from a young age to be thinking of what they want to do when they grow up so they can get out there and start producing, producing, producing for the state and becoming a “useful” member of society.
We as fandom veterans, need to do our best to teach them differently, and that comes right back to my point: communication and mutual respect.
Older fans need to respect newcomers, as much as the new baby fans need to learn to respect their fandom elders. There is no maximum age for fandom; there’s no minimum age, either, although the younger the fan, the more their parents should be keeping an eye out for the truly damaging stuff and teaching their kids how to avoid that stuff on their own.
Now, obviously, people don’t always announce online how old they are (though it does happen more frequently now than when I started writing), but regardless, there should be a certain etiquette to it.
When you interact with someone online, you don’t know if they are 15 or 50. And the way you interact with them shouldn’t change based on knowing their age. We should maintain the same level of respect for the new fans as the older fans.
So, as to how adults might navigate interactions with minors (especially when you know they’re minors)?
Treat them as any other intelligent human being: with respect.
Because how else are they going to learn?
My mom always used to say to us, “I’m not raising children, I’m raising adults,” which basically meant she was teaching us how to be adults. Kids don’t pop out of the womb magically knowing how to interact with the world, they take their cues from the adults that are already there.
Fandom babies learn how to be active participants in fandom from the people who are already there. And they’re more likely to listen to and look up to someone that treats them as a mature and capable being, than someone who dismisses them as too young or too green, or dismisses their knowledge and experience because they haven’t earned their metaphorical stripes.
Remember, a lot of these kids are coming to fandom because they need an outlet. In this age of helicopter parents, this is the only place where they get to be treated as an individual adult-in-the-making instead of the overly protected child or student that must be shielded from the world. A lot of them are trying to figure out how to deal with the horrors that happen to them or around them every day. That 16-year-old girl writing a rape/non-con fic under a pseudonym? She could be exorcising her own demons through the only way she has because no one in her life is listening to her. That 14-year-old writing about homelessness might know more about it than someone twice his age.
Expertise and experience knows no age, and as adults, we need to not fall into the trap of thinking it does. There are some kids out there that have seen and endured more than I can even imagine.
In recent years, there’s been this trend of treating kids like sexless beings until we, the adults, deem them capable of having a sense of sexuality. When the reality is, once kids start puberty, they’re developing that sexuality, and are trying to figure out what it means to them and how to navigate it, and the world. It doesn’t matter if adults are uncomfortable with it, this is what our human biology has decided for us.
And chances are, as much as adults try to curate the world and keep kids from seeing the darker, less safe stuff? They’re already doing it. I saw this when I was teaching, the kids are already accessing and interacting with stuff like sex, drugs, relationships… Whenever a faceless censor tries to block that sort of thing, they find a way around it. Humans are funny like that—we want the things that are kept away from us, whether harmful or not.
It’s our responsibility to help them think critically about what they’re seeing, and teach them to express themselves about it in a respectful manner.
So by all means: follow that amazing artist even if they are only 15. Their age doesn’t negate the fact that they have talent that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. Reblog the images and the fics that strike you, even if you find out the person writing it isn’t 18 yet. Send a shoutout via DM or review or comment to someone that you admire whether you know they’re age or not.
Unless you’re being actively creepy and offensive (and seriously, don’t do that, it’s gross whether the recipient is a minor or not), chances are these creators are desperate for some assurance that the medium they choose to express themselves in is having an effect on people—and that they have the power to make even adults sit up and listen.
So…TL;DR:
When interacting with younger fans, do so with respect. And if they say something problematic, don’t automatically cancel them and write them off as “obviously too young and immature to understand”. They understand more than you think and will seek out their interests whether adults think it’s appropriate or not. That’s how freedom works. But if we’re going to nip bad behavior like purity culture and agism in the bud, we need to start by treating minors in fandom as adults developing their worldview, not as infants to be sheltered.
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My primary school (4-11year olds, it's the uk) had those old mills and boons (the cheap romance novel) type books. I read about people's terrible relationships and softcore porn in class at 10 cause they were on the reading shelf. Most people were watching Eastenders (murder, sex, relationships drama) or horror at 8 with their parents. not to mention swearing. First sex ed class was at 10.13, read a book with rape in class and sex ed. kids gonna find crap no matter what you do. not my problem >
< not to mention that a book about male sexual assault was placed in the young children's section in brazil(?) cause it had the word prince. It's common to find sexual stuff at a young age when library and book stores barely read the first 3 chapters or think anything fantasy is for kids. Comics have gore and cursing, people say those are child friendly. I was 13 when I read a manga where someone's organs come out of their mouth cause all manga is for young teens according to my library
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I’m late answering, but I’m pretty sure this is in reference to that very memorable post where someone basically argued that Ao3 should be child-friendly because young kids might potentially access it.
Bullshit.
I had similar experiences as you. My first - and second...and third...and you get the idea - brush with erotica was in my grandfather’s library. He’d passed by then and no one home had any clue what he had in there. Hell of an eclectic collection too, and me, being both a bookworm and a teenager going through puberty, devoured the smut.
After that, I found a ton of books in my high school library with explicit sexual content. The librarian didn’t know what was in them, so she didn’t stop me. Started buying books with my allowance around 14 and while my family accompanied me, they never once checked what I read. 15 y/o me was very into Anita Blake books.
And oh yeah, let’s not even start on gruesome non-sexual violence in these easily accessible books.
By the time I found fanfic, there wasn’t much in it that I hadn’t seen before. I did, however, get much more detailed descriptions of queer sex and kinky sex. I was still a teenager then. I chose what I read and chose to keep coming back. I would not have appreciated anyone else making those decisions for me.
Granted, my experiences with finding stuff online was more or less okay, at least with sex. I’m sure that’s not the same for everyone. But it’s still not the job of random people on the internet to regulate your reading choices. Kids too young to handle themselves online have parents to do it for them.
Curating our experiences is important. Censorship is fucking shitty. End of story.
#screen-head-girl#i love my anons#I should stop answering asks while half asleep#they turn rambling#oops
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Time to finally share this...
My Favorite Unus Annus Episodes
Ethan will be kicked in the balls
Baby hands operation
Drawing memes from memory
An AI predicts how we are going to die
Mark turns Ethan into a mummy
We buy a professional hypnosis video
Mark and Ethan attempt an escape room
Ethan destroys mark’s van with a bat
Ethan gives mark a Viking funeral
The great meat mistake
Floating inside a real sensory deprivation tank
Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 gallon of eggnog)
Hiding our sins from Amy’s holy peepers
DIY Bungee Jump (don’t try this at home)
Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin
This is How We’ll Die
We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves
Bad Bad Beans
We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams
Looking at Long Lost Memes
Ethan Redefines Male Beauty
Literally Eating Fire
Unregulated Axe Throwing
Literally Laying on Literal Broken Glass
Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature
Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game
Becoming a Master of Mime
Are We Already Dead?
Our Perfect (And Last) Valentine’s Day
Drunk College Party Simulator
The Ultimate Trolly Problem
Goat Yoga
Granting Access into Heaven’s Sweet Gates
Mark and Ethan go on a “Drum Date”
Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Money On
REAL Ghost Hunting in an Abandoned Zoo
Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs
Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest?
Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight
The Barrel - Official Music Video
Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat)
Mark Needs to Rub Ethan And Only His Mom Can Help Him
2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes
Unus Annie Carves the Roast Beef
We Tried A Labor Pain Simulator
Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless
We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games
We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins
We Played Mad Libs and Ran it Through Google Translate
Speed Reading at 1000+ WPM to Gain Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge
We Found Websites that the World Forgot About
The Scariest True Stories on the Internet
How to NOT Be the Perfect Boyfriend
Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado
Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis
Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate
The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy Touchy Hans Shake
Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty
Don’t Go in the Ocean... Ever.
We Looked at Unus Annus Memes
Is Mark a Masochist?
Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us?
Like it or not... This is What The New Human Looks Like
Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man?
Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise
How Tall Can A Human Get? An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men
Mark Teaches Ethan Korean
Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend
We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes
We Played Strip Poker
Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime
DIY Boob
The Unus Annus Confessional Booth
Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video
Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video
Reacting to Your HILARIOUS Green Screen Memes
Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions
We Made Fanart For Each Other
Will We Break These Boards... Or Will They Break Us?
Creating Mark FISHbach
Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul In The Palm Of his Hand
2 Men In a Trench Coat Teach You How To Save Money at the Movies
Building the World’s First IKEA Boat
Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim
Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof.
Recreating Mark’s Childhood
Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing
The Unus Annus Space Program
The Egg Smashing Game
Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk
How to Escape From a Hostage Situation
The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest
Ultimate Horseshoes
Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength
Mark Teaches Ethan How To Play a Trumpet
The Wubble
Mark and Ethan Shave Chica
DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
Hydro Dipping a Baby
Popping Popcorn With a High-Powered Laser
Puberty Simulator
Momiplier Teaches Self-Defense
Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness
Too Many Pickles
Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room
Hunting HeeHoo
Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage
We Smell Every Smell
How Many Slaps Does It Take to Cook a Chicken?
Mark Teaches Ethan How To March In A Marching Band
Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors
We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help
Learning to Use the Force
Brick Soccer
Mark Knows What Ethan Did...
This Video Will Never Make Sense
Ethan Watches as Mark Does the Impossible
This Video Went Completely Out of Control
DIY Minesweeper
Literally Finding A Needle in a Haystack
Drawing On Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness
We Bought Every Grinch Costume on EBay
Learn to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds
Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea
We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR)
Cryptic Olympics
Phasmophobia in Real Life
Edward Pumpkin Hands
The Annual Unus Annus Costume Contest
Ethan Kidnapped Mark
The Truth About Unus Annus
The Unus Annus Last Supper
Being Brutally Honest With Each Other
Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video
All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened
Who’s Cutting Onions in Here???
The 1st Annual Unus Annus Roast
Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests
Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead
Goodbye.
#nightofnetter nonsense#Unus annus#memento mori#‘twas a good year#sorta.#for the channel#definitely not personally#long post
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