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randombtsprincessa · 5 years

Text

Azaleas

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (2nd POV)

Words: 9.9k

Genre: Smut

Summary: The Last thing you wanted was Jeon Jungkook on your case...but maybe you can find it in yourself to come to enjoy it.

Disclaimer: Most of the legal terms and phrases and references are what I found online. If anything is wrong, please forgive me and don’t take me to court.

Warning: A lot of legal talk, Courtroom scenes, Drug trafficking, Wrongful arrests, Cops being morons (sorry cops of tumblr), Inappropriate Courtroom conduct (sort of), Mean teachers, mean classmates, Depiction of drug addiction, Explicit Smut, Protected Sex, Consent taking (Yes, that is a thing, a good thing), Fingering, Oral (Male receiving), Profanity.

A/N: I just...it’s Jungkook guys.

“You’ve got to be joking!” Your sharp voice cracked across the desk over to your boss and friend, Shin Yuna.

Her eyebrows rose, hands coming down to brush against the beige blazer she had on, “No, not really.”

You looked down at her posh office then back at the equally posh woman in front of you. “Since, when have we needed Of Counsels?” You asked.

“We don’t; but this isn’t my prerogative. It’s Hyejong. She thinks we need a broader outlook on a few of our cases.”

You could tell Yuna was trying hard not to roll her eyes at that statement. If there was someone who was even surer of her capabilities than you, it would be Shin Yuna.

“I see,” You mumbled.

Yuna gave you a second or two of an unreadable stare, one that you were well familiar with during your time watching her in the courtroom. It was challenging, goading; it made you want to snap. You couldn’t count how many people had cracked in the stands under that gaze.

You, however, were just feeling nervous.

“What is there, something else?”

“I think it would be best if you got it from me lest you get a nasty shock during the first meet. The Of Counsel is Jeon Jungkook.”

You stared at Yuna.

“Jeon Jungkook…as in…”

“Jeon Jungkook; the successful prodigy of Min Associates; Yoongi is very kindly letting him fly solo and rightfully so. The man has been winning almost all his cases since Min put him in the chair.”

“Yeah, even against us.” You reminded her.

Your mind went back to where you and he had last met. The courtroom, of course, with his and your staff surrounding you as you laid your defense. The judge passed the sentence, in Jeon’s favor of course and you watched the client, your charge of a few weeks now, be dragged away…again.

The last thing you remembered was the smug beam on Jeon’s face as he shook hands with his congratulators.

“Yes, even against us, this is why Hyejong wants him with us on the defense this time. If we can remove him from the prosecutor’s choice, we can get our client off.”

“Do you think that we can’t do it without him?” You asked.

“I couldn’t say. The only way to know is you. You are our first choice of Defense, Y/N. You’re smart, and you know how to bend the rules, manipulate the jury, and work the loopholes. You’re one of our best. The only thing you have to do is…work as best as you can with Jeon. I know you don’t like him.”

“With reason; he’s egotistical and -,”

“And knows what he’s doing…please, try to be patient.” Yuna cut you off to add and you sighed, slumping against the leather chair.

“There’s another thing.” Yuna said, shuffling a few pens on her desk.

“I’ve spoken to Hyejong and we agree that it’s time that our firm has a few changes. We’re sponsoring a few interns who will become advocates, lawyers and attorneys soon enough and we need to manage them as well. For that, we need someone who knows the ways of this Office well. Hyejong retired from the court long enough ago to handle that. So, we have agreed it’s time to pick our Junior Partner.”

You looked up quickly at that, making Yuna smile.

“Yes, I know, it’s a step towards your ambition and since you’re the only active attorney in our firm, you are the natural choice. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll have to work for it. Earn it,” she stressed.

“Of course,” You mumbled, a wave of giddiness swiping thoughts of Jeon Jungkook out of your mind.

“Your first step would be to handle this case in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.”

…and those thoughts were back.

The wood of the conference table felt smooth under your palm, fingers trailing over the filigree traced into the dark oak and the faux leather of your folders.

The atmosphere in the room was tense at your end, your secretary Mina leaning in to whisper to you.

“What are we actually waiting for?” she asked.

You cast a glance at the rest of the members in the room. Hyejong was staring at her nails, Yuna out the window. The last participant present was a young, bright man who worked in the tech and investigation department of your firm.

Jung Hoseok looked up from his phone at your perusal of his pushed back hair, and graffiti shirt and shot you a wink. You rolled your eyes pointedly before looking at Mina.

“For Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin,”

“It’s 9:13,” she whispered.

“Yes, Mina, turns out our new colleagues don’t respect punctuality.” You murmured.

You were hoping you hadn’t been loud but Hyejong turned her sleek head towards you.

“Y/N, I expect some manners from you!” she admonished.

“Yes, Miss Shin,” you demurred even as Hyejong continued. “At least when the man gets here,”

You caught Yuna throwing you a quick smile just as the door opened with a brisk knock.

Jeon Jungkook entered the room in all his glory, a waft of high-end cologne reaching your nose. You kept your eyes focused on your portfolio, catching the glimpses of his branded suit and perfect glossy hair when you darted them once across the room.

“I hope I’m not too late. I had to visit with Mr. Min before and it took longer than I expected.” You heard the voice come from the front of the room, following Hyejong’s prim voice quickly putting him at ease.

“Fantastic, I brought Jimin with me already so if you’re ready we can start with the primary discussion.” Jeon continued.

“Of course, we have Miss Y/L/N leading the defense; you’ll be working with her.” Yuna said and there was a pause in which Mina quickly prodded you.

You stood up, finally making eye contact with the handsome man who had begun to walk up to you with his hand extended.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s good to meet you out of the stands.” He joked.

You smiled back politely, feeling the gaze of everyone in the room fixed on you. “Likewise, Mr. Jeon, I hope you enjoy working with us.” You said.

“I am very sure I will, Miss Y/L/N.”

He smiled again when you shook your hands and then sat down into the seat next to you, gesturing for the man with him to come over and sit in the one next to him.

Jimin, round cheeked and plump lipped, gave you a dazzling smile that you happily returned before following his boss’s directions.

“So, what are the premises?” Jeon asked.

Yuna looked at you and you opened your files.

“Lee Jiyoon, 24 years old Biochemistry student was arrested with white substances that upon arrest and examination were found to be cocaine. Amount was alarmingly over the normal rates sold on the streets under patrol watch. Miss Lee has pleaded innocence in the face of being unaware that the white stuff was drugs and to look for the man she had been dating for only a couple months.”

“She’s a biochemistry student? Didn’t she wonder what the substance was?” Jeon cut in.

“She says she didn’t even open the bag. She was just going to dump out the things he’d left behind when he wouldn’t return her calls and the patrol cops caught her in the park near the trashcans.”

“They wouldn’t believe that she was just dumping out an ex’s belongings?”

“They had sniff-dogs and that alerted them. A check later she was taken in.”

Jeon put his fingers to his chin.

“She called for the attorney?” He asked.

“No,” Yuna put in. “I don’t think she would’ve been able to afford us. We were called in by the DA to act as defense.”

Jeon nodded.

“Well, seems straightforward enough. Should we go visit the girl?” he asked.

You glanced at your bosses before nodding, standing up with the others. Mina began to wrap up your things as Hoseok introduced himself to Jeon when Hyejong spoke up again.

“Mr. Jeon, we’ve assigned you an office next to Y/N’s. You’ll show him the way, won’t you?” She asked and you forced a bright smile, nodding as Mina and Hoseok followed the women out.

Yuna didn’t look back at you as the door shut and you were left with Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin.

There was a split second of a pause as the final swing of the closing door ended before you turned to the two men.

“If you would follow me, gentlemen,” You walked around the table and let yourself out, taking the familiar path to the hallway of private offices.

The Firm building was separated into three floors, the highest one belonging to the bosses while the second was for attorneys and business spaces and the lowest level was for techs.

Jeon sped up a little to fall into step with you.

“So, Miss Y/L/N, I hope that we’ll be able to work together smoothly.” He said.

You threw him a side eye.

“Has there been an indication to otherwise?” You asked.

“No, no, it’s that simply I’ve found I’m not usually well received by the ones I’ve won against.” He said.

You bristled at the underlying hints of condescension in his tone.

“Well,” You paused in front of the door to the office next to yours. It was emptied recently and cleaned out, perhaps for Jeon already. “You’ll find me completely amicable. We’re going to go visit the client in an hour without the secretaries this time.” You informed him before walking to your own office, taking care not to obviously slam the door shut.

The seating of the prison meeting room was all cold steel and though you were experienced in sitting in them for a long time now, you could never really get used to it.

Your eyes wandered to the black mirror on your side and caught Jeon’s refection. He’d been silent all through the drive to the Prison house, eyebrows drawn slightly together and a muscle in his jaw tense. You had to be lying if you said you didn’t find that jaw clench attractive.

You turned your head back to the front again just as Jeon’s eyes found the mirror as well, meeting yours for a split second.

Just then, the locked door to the room opened and Lee Jiyoon was led in.

You hadn’t been able to get her off on Parole, since drug trafficking was a serious crime but you had been able to get her away from the real inmates, putting her in the in-house arrest of the prison itself. She was allowed to keep her own clothes and had most basic privileges in the house but unless you could get her off she was still basically a criminal to them.

The green tips of her hair looked frizzed and unkempt as she sat down with a thump, the long chains around her wrist undone by the security before moving to the back corner.

You saw her glance once at Jeon and looked at him to see him looking at the security before turning his eyes to you, nodding for you to start.

“How are you, Jiyoon?” you started.

“Feeling like I got arrested for something I didn’t do,” she replied dryly and you smiled, lips pressing together.

“You won’t have to be here for very long.” You tried to reassure and she shrugged.

“Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to have someone try to get me off the charges but I guess it’s nice that you are. I’ve heard you’re good.” She said.

“Everyone has the right to ask for a lawyer. Weren’t you read your rights when you got arrested?” Jeon cut in.

“It wouldn’t matter. I was panicking when they cuffed me. I really don’t remember much about anything once I was brought in.” Jiyoon said.

You made a note in the edge of your pad about talking to the arresting officer.

“If you weren’t read your rights, you’re technically not supposed to be here.” Jeon said.

“It’s my word against theirs anyway. I want to know if you’ve found that shit bag Kinjo.” Jiyoon asked.

You sighed.

“We had a sighting a few days ago. Looks like he tried to make a run for it; we have the police in a few states alert to where he might go to.”

“Good, he deserves to be pissing in a metal pot, living in a room with four other people, not me.”

“We’re doing everything we can. The best chance we have is pleading an emotional case. The jury is likely going to go for sympathy for a girl who was throwing her ex’s things away.”

“I don’t know about that. How many people are going to believe that someone like me got emotional over a guy in two months?” Jiyoon rolled her eyes.

“In any case, play to your femininity. This is really not the place to argue feminism. This is just about getting you out of the court and having your name cleared.” Jeon put in.

Jiyoon stared at your colleague a few seconds before looking at you.

“Who are you, again?”

“Jeon Jungkook, I’m providing assistance to Y/N on your case.”

Jiyoon narrowed her eyes before shrugging. “Whatever; when will you next come?” she asked.

“For now this is out last visit, we’ll see you in court on the day of the first trial but your mother is going to be visiting and bringing a few things. Stay safe,” You said, getting to your feet, Jeon following.

“Right…I don’t want her to see me like this but I guess I can’t choose.” Jiyoon looked at the bulky guard who moved to bind her wrists again and you offered her an encouraging nod as she was led away again.

“So, what did you think?” You asked, driving back to the office with Jeon looking over your notes from the previous sessions with the client.

Jeon hummed and you turned to look at him.

“Mr. Jeon,” you called for his attention again.

“It’s a little early for me to form solid assumptions.” He muttered.

“So…is that your way of saying you don’t think she’s innocent?” You asked.

Jeon looked at you. “You’re a lawyer, Y/N. Is that how you read between the lines?”

You decided to ignore the jibe.

“The first trial is in two days. I just want to know whether I have to waste time convincing you of her innocence.” You grumbled.

“Come now, Y/N, in our profession, when has anyone ever been truly innocent?” He smirked and you spent a few extra seconds on time looking at him before sighing and looking to the front again, back to ignoring him.

“Nice job at the defense,” you looked up to see Jeon Jungkook standing over where you were busy filling out some paperwork in the hall of the court room.

You looked back down.

“Thank you, congratulations on the win.” You returned politely.

“Thanks…mind if I sit?” He continued.

“Be my guest,”

Jeon sat down next to you, unbuttoning the suit jacket he had on and leaned back sighing. “That was one tough case. You nearly beat me there.” He said. A subtle hint of flowers reached you but you continued working the pen.

“Well, you won. Another meat suit for the prison,” you mumbled.

He chuckled. “Are you bitter, Miss Y/L/N? I assure you, you don’t need to be. A few years down the line, you might be glad he’s behind bars. Once a man has gotten taste of vice, he rarely ever lets it go.” Jeon said philosophically.

You finally looked up at the gorgeous man next to you.

The first time you’d ever seen Jeon Jungkook was when you were under Yuna’s wing, learning from the very best in your opinion.

She’d been up against Min Yoongi, acting prosecutor in his days and under his wing was the exceptionally bright and handsome Jeon Jungkook, with his soft edged face, doe eyes and a floppy mass of hair. He also smelled very nice, floral and soft.

He’d been so cute; you’d blushed when Yuna and Yoongi had introduced you two, the long standing friends hoping their charges would maybe hit it off.

You would have, if not for your stupid crush, long gone now that you had been losing your cases to him. The amount of wins you had was laughably low to the ones you’d lost against him and while you had a generous reputation in the up and coming law community, Jeon was a stellar genius.

Now, Jungkook had definitely grown into his own, refining with age. His softness hadn’t completely gone, the curve of his lips bore testimony of that and the big nose and eyes were still there, but now he had a jaw line to kill for and his hair was so perfectly styled, it drove a person to want to mess it up just for sadistic pleasure.

And you still liked looking at him…

All in all, Jeon Jungkook was your favorite but worst nightmare.

“You’re very down on your sex, aren’t you?” you asked.

He shrugged a smile on his face. “I am, I’ve seen the worst specimens after all. We all need a better half to keep us in line.”

You rolled your eyes at the line and he quickly shook his head.

“I’m not trying to be sexist. I’m just saying that no one on this planet, not even women, I’m sorry, is completely innocent.”

“Very biblically primitive of you,”

“It does have a few points of note.” Jeon looked down at his watch before up at you.

“I would love to continue this but I have another meeting to get to. Maybe we should meet sometime, have dinner or something.” He suggested.

“Sure,” you muttered watching him leave. It took you a minute to realize that Jeon had taken the soft smell of flowers with him.

Neither of you reached out for that dinner or something sometime.

“We never did get to do that dinner.”

You glanced at Jeon, jumping out of your own similar thought. Was he thinking of that too?

“We got busy.”

“Yes, I’d still like to have that in my schedule though.” Jeon answered and you laughed.

“Smooth Jeon,”

Jeon put his head back to the headrest, head turned in your direction. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”

You frowned. “What makes you say that?”

“I’ve seen you around me. You get all stiff and formal with me and you don’t really smile all that much. I know you think I’m egotistical and smug. The only times we’ve had a normal conversation, I can count on one finger.”

You raised your eyebrows.

Looks like you weren’t all that discreet in your actions.

And now you couldn’t help but feel a little bad…

“I don’t mean to do that, Jeon. You’re exceptionally good at the job, I respect you for that. Just because I’ve lost a few cases to you doesn’t mean I’m going to let my emotions control my intelligence. I don’t completely hate you.”

“Completely…?” Jeon picked and you had to laugh again.

“Maybe I did think you were a little egotistical and smug, Jeon.” You allowed.

“Call me Jungkook. We should try finding out the judge too, if he’s someone I know, we can easily influence the case.”

You blinked at how fast he changed the subject.

“Isn’t that...wrong?” you frowned.

“It won’t matter once I win this case for you.” He said, going back to the notes and your hold tightened on the wheel.

“Will the judge allow for Kinjo to be tried in place of Jiyoon?”

“Oh well, I guess we can find out when I help you win this case.”

You pursed your lips at the 180. His ego definitely wasn’t that little.

Mina was already waiting for you when you entered your office and took off you coat.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, your coffee handed to you as you sat behind your desk.

“So, how did it go?” she asked.

You leant back into the plushy chair and closed your eyes for a second.

“It was normal. There might be a point to pursue about whether or not Jiyoon was read her rights when she was arrested. Have Hoseok look into it,” you told her.

“Right,” Mina quickly wrote it down.

“And where are we with the boyfriend?”

“We had a sighting in Busan but we still need to process some paperwork before we can extricate him. I told Miss Yuna and she’s doing it now.”

“Good,”

“And…?”

You looked around to your secretary in question. “And what,”

“How did it go with Jungkook?” Mina broached.

You blinked.

“It was fine.” You said, wheeling the chair closer to the desk and opening your laptop.

“Just fine…?”

You shot her a look. “What do you want me to say, Mina?”

“Didn’t he do anything? He looks like he’s into you. No flirting?”

Your gaze turned sharp.

“Mina,” you warned.

“Oh come on Y/N, I can tell. I’ve been your secretary for two years now and we’ve been around Jeon Jungkook long enough. He’s into you. Badly,”

You looked down to your emails, ignoring your heated cheeks. “I gave you some work to do, I believe. Don’t forget Jeon Jungkook is here at the moment. You don’t want him to hear these assumptions.”

“Or…maybe that’s exactly what he wants,”

“Enough Mina, leave the sleuthing to Jung and get back to work.”

Mina slumped in her seat, pouting at you before sighing, pushing herself up and out of your cabin.

You watched the door shut before taking in a deep breath, opening the first of many emails to reply.

The court room – a familiar setting to you – almost as familiar as your home, was lightly buzzing by the collecting group of people required for trial.

Jiyoon and you had discussed at the first appearance about whom and what to call on and you were glad to see your words had struck true. Jiyoon’s mother and brother were present at the front of the public seating, looking rightfully worried.

The attorney seats comprised of Yuna, Mina and you, Jeon and Hoseok right behind you.

The judge’s bench was empty and you turned to throw Jungkook a questioning glance. Jeon met it with pursed lips, not choosing to say anything.

You turned to look at the prosecution instead.

The sight of Kim Namjoon sitting in the front chair made you start just a little when the call for rise came.

The room stood up and an elegant woman with wrapped hair in a bun entered, wearing the judge’s gown and taking her seat.

You clicked your tongue mentally. She was unfamiliar, must be new.

“Take a seat, folks.” She called out as you regained your seats.

She ruffled her papers in a flurry then looked up.

“The case for Lee Jiyoon against State begins now.”

Jiyoon sat in the neatest attire they’d managed to show that she was a respectable person and not a lowly drug dealer.

Namjoon, tall and impeccable as usual walked up to her.

“Please state your name for the record, Miss.” He began.

Off it went.

Namjoon had called in the arresting officer, one of Jiyoon’s teachers and a classmate, one that Jiyoon looked confused and outraged had come to testify against.

“Are you the officer who responded first to Miss Lee’s suspicious activity caught by the sniff dogs?”

“Can you describe her behavior that night?”

The cop went into detail about how Jiyoon looked dazed and scared that night, insisting that it was a sign of her guilt.

Even as he questioned the teacher, it seemed they all thought that it was possible since she might have ‘strayed’ after her dad left her mom. The class mate went on about her boyfriend looking not quite right.

You clicked your pen, signaling to Mina.

She leant in.

“I want you to dig into the teacher and this girl, everything from grudges to grades, I want It.” you mumbled to her. Your secretary nodded.

“No more questions, you honor.” Namjoon turned finally, nodding at you.

“The defendant may ask the witnesses questions.” The judge said.

You stood up, brushing the edge of your skirt before calling for the cop.

“Officer Chui, you’re the leader for the night time patrol, correct?” you asked.

The man nodded, looking disinterested at the cross-examination.

“Right and how many kids have you seen in the park at that time matching Miss Lee’s description?”

He glanced at Jiyoon sitting at your side and shrugged. “A few,”

“Would you say that they all looked uneasy at the sight of you?”

He snorted. “Kids always have something to hide. So yeah,”

“So, seeing that you knew that, why would you assume that Jiyoon was particularly guilty of a drug crime?”

Chui paused, looking uncertain for a second.

“She was throwing things out of a suitcase. The sniff dogs caught a scent.”

“Why did you go to her in the first place?”

“I…don’t know.”

You glanced at the jury.

“Officer, did you read her, her rights when you cuffed the defendant?” You finally asked and the man paled.

“I’m sure I must have.” He mumbled.

“Are you? Are you really sure, because the rest of your men don’t recall anything of that sort. Without the rights read, my client shouldn’t have been in the containment she was put in.”

“She called for you right? She has a lawyer so I must have said she had right to an attorney.”

“How long have you been with the Drug Patrol, Officer Chui?”

“Objection,” Namjoon called finally, his deep voice calm but audible across the room. I turned to look at him. “What is the Relevance?”

“Relevant, your honor,” you cut in immediately. “A man with a shorter period of work experience will often make mistakes, small or big, like forgetting to read the rights.” You moved away from the Officer to pull up a sheet of his data, handing it to the Judge’s clerk.

“The records say he’s been with night duty for only half a year. He was coined Chief because the department of the area is new and they didn’t have a lot of people to pick from. Mr. Chui was the longest there.”

“It must have slipped my mind but she got them at the establishment. She was told she could get an attorney.”

“Miss Lee, was this before or after interrogation?” The judge finally asked.

“After, your honor,” she replied meekly.

“Anything said during that examination is nullified then.” You pointed out.

The Officer stared up at you, gaping.

You sighed to yourself. First step was getting the evidence against Jiyoon thrown out. Thanks to Chui, that had been made possible. Now only to get the jury to believe she was completely clean. You’d have to know about the two witnesses.

“Does the defendant have any more questions?”

“That will be,” you began when another voice spoke up from behind you.

“Actually, your honor I would like to call for the second witness. I have a few questions for her.”

You swiveled around to see Jeon walked over to the front. His eyes were intense, staring you down to let him do this and you glanced at Yuna who quickly nodded.

Returning the nod, you gave up the stage to Jeon; catching Namjoon’s puzzled look but unable to answer it as you sat down.

“What the hell is he doing?” You asked Mina

“I don’t know boss, I really don’t.”

The woman came into the stands, looking equal amounts excited and nervous at the prospect of Jeon Jungkook. You scoffed lightly but you couldn’t blame her.

“Your name is Park Cheri of Dais Academy?” Jungkook began.

She nodded, mumbling out a yes.

“Can you tell me about your relationship with Miss Lee?”

You leaned back in your seat as the woman talked about being her Chemistry teacher since the beginning of her studies, giving a few details here and there of her life that you turned to Jiyoon for. The fearful nod of her head confirmed your fears.

“So, you have a habit of talking with all your students like that and pry into them?”

“Objection, Mr. Jeon, the point of the question?” Namjoon spoke up again.

“Point, Mr. Kim is that we just found out that Miss Lee’s evidences are dismissed due to her Miranda rights. It isn’t fair for a teacher, someone who is supposed to be in a position of confidence to come and try to give assumptive testimony.”

“I am not.”

“So, then are you a psychologist?”

“No,”

“Then what makes you so sure of Miss Lee’s mindset due to her parents’ separation?”

“Every child is…”

“Has Miss Lee shown signs of such behaviors before?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

Jungkook looked at the now muttering jury and then at you, a raised eyebrow and smirk accompanying.

“So, then maybe you shouldn’t try to use information like that to gain a few minutes of popularity without properly verifying it, should you?”

“Your honor, Mr. Jeon is being insulting.” Namjoon stood up, frowning.

“Retracted, Your honor,” Jungkook smiled pleasantly at the woman who looked furious now, glaring at the suited man as she was excused by the judge before announcing a date for the next session.

The room began to flood and even as you stood up; you saw Jeon looking pleased with himself, as usual, grinning up at Yoongi and Kim Seokjin, Namjoon’s older brother and owner of Kim Co.

“Wow,” you heard Hoseok say behind you before popping a bubble and you turned to seethe at the man.

“Y/N,”

You turned your companion of the night with a smile, raising your arms up around his neck for a brief hug.

“Hi Joon,”

“It’s been a while, how have you been?” He asked, pulling away from you to pull out a chair for you, letting you slide in.

“I’ve been fine. What about you?” you asked as Kim Namjoon sat down in front of you.

He’d ditched the suit jacket and tie, loosening the top few buttons of his shirt, glasses gone and you had to be honest, a tousled Namjoon looked even better than his put together self.

“Can’t complain, busy as hell, you know how it is.”

You did know.

That had been one of the reasons why you and he had to break up.

Kim Namjoon was the middle child of Kim Co. He and his two brothers were born to be lawyers it would seem. You and he had met in law school, hitting it off immediately. You’d been best friend till dating had seemed to come as easy as your friendship.

Your whirlwind romance had lasted for a very long time, rose colored glasses on both your eyes. He was smart, kind, highly knowledgeable and you were sweet, patient, firm in your ideas and grounding. Together you had been invincible and when you’d gotten your degree and entered work life, the cloud of marriage loomed closer than ever.

Of course, real life knocked some sense into both of you as work schedules clashed and you both decided to call a much needed break.

That didn’t mean your friendship suffered. Namjoon was still your dearest best friend and you held the same spot for him.

Drinks in hand, you began to talk about anything that was unrelated to your case, his booming laughter echoing when you admitted you’d hoped it would be his youngest brother, Taehyung who would be prosecuting.

“He’s still getting the ropes, love.” Namjoon chortled in explanation before sobering.

“So, Jeon, huh?” he asked.

You pointed you glass at him. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Really, I remember him being the topic of most of our bedroom rants.” He grinned.

“Shut up, Joon.” You smacked at his arm just as he pulled it away.

“I’m serious. I was really surprised when I saw him on the Counsel. I didn’t think Yuna would ever pull it and I was ever surer you wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Yuna promised me if I got this case working beside Jeon done smoothly, I’d be considered for Junior Partner and at this moment, winning is in the pocket because I’m the only attorney there with the highest commendation.”

Namjoon nodded as he swigged at the Old Fashioned again.

“You’re as ambitious as when we met.” He commented.

“Not all of us are born into the Law Family who owns the best Firm in the city.” You smiled teasingly.

“Hey, I work as hard as you do, thank you very much.” He pointed at the bar tender for new drinks.

You stared at him as he mumbled to the tender when he glanced at you again.

“Don’t check me out. It’s weird.”

“You’re weird.” You countered very eloquently then grunted in displeasure, looking down at the fresh drink in front of you. “Ugh, I hate getting drunk.”

“We’re lawyers’ babe, but we don’t always have to be at the game. Just relax.” Namjoon slurred and you watched as he looked startled at his own tongue before looking down at his new drink as well.

“Let’s just get a taxi home.” You both said out loud together before grinning woozily at each other.

The patter of pressed keys filled the softly lit space of your office as you typed out a session report for Jiyoon’s case. Your eyes were getting harder to keep open even as you did your best to focus on the blinding white of the screen page when the knock came.

You frowned. You had sent Mina on home an hour ago.

“Who is it?” you called first.

“It’s me,” you heard Jeon Jungkook reply and you huffed in confusion. What was he doing here at this hour?

“Come in.”

Your counselor walked in, probably looking just as you felt. The shine of his hair had dimmed, eyes looking darker, or maybe that was just the ambience of your office.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Reports; what about you?” you leaned back in your chair.

“I was catching on a few of your last reports. Ones where Jiyoon told you whatever she knew about that deadbeat drug man and I saw lights on here.” he told you, taking a seat at one of your chairs.

“Did you find anything?”

“I don’t know just yet, we’ll have to wait.”

You stared at him.

“Sure,” you returned to your work and he paused.

“Is everything ok?” he asked.

“Sure,” you repeated.

Jeon stood up, moving to your table to place the tips of his fingers near your elbow.

“Are you upset about the teacher?” he asked, inquisitively.

“Why would I be upset about that? You took hold of my interrogation and it worked well for you, didn’t it?”

You knew your passive-aggressiveness was getting you nowhere. Either Jeon was too tired to understand what was wrong or you weren’t being mean enough.

In any case he pulled away, shrugging powerful shoulders under his unbuttoned suit jacket.

“Alright, I just wanted to let you know that you should lead with the girl tomorrow, before bringing Jiyoon in for questioning again.”

“I know; the girl is a problem. Mina brought me her details and she has no idea what’s coming for her tomorrow.”

Jeon looked down, a smile blooming across his lips.

I’m probably going to be a little late tomorrow to the hearing.”

You hated it but your eyes snapped up to his.

“Why are you going to be late?”

He watched your face slump a tiny bit and smirked, reaching up to loosen his tie as well. The action was simple, yet you could feel your throat close up.

“Told you, I’m going to win your case for you,”

With that, he was marching out of your office, a taps of his dress shoes fading from the wooden floors as far as you could tell before piercing silence fell again.

You glanced at your laptop, feeling drained then at your empty coffee cup.

Your report could wait, your mind blatantly told you and your fingers moved, snapping the lip of the laptop down with no shame.

Grabbing your work files and stashing them into your briefcase, you lunged out the door, eager to get home to your bed when you caught a flash of color in Jeon’s open office door.

Backing a few steps, you stared at the small pot of blue azaleas nestling in the corner of his desk before you shrugged to yourself, feet picking up the journey to the elevator again.

True to his word, Jeon Jungkook was late to the courtroom.

Yuna, sitting beside you again, turned her stern questioning gaze to you and you offered her a small, ‘He’s just running a bit late,’ before you had to stand for the judge and the hearing’s second day began.

Namjoon was back to his best again and while you and he exchanged a small smile during the lull of conversation, both of you became professional real quick.

He didn’t have any questions today, turning cross-examination to you and you were more than ready as you called for Jiyoon’s classmate.

“Please state your name for the record.”

“Son Susie,”

“Right, Susie, you’re Miss Lee’s classmate, correct?”

“Yes,”

You glanced down at the heaps of fliers in your hand.

“How close would you say you are to Miss Lee?”

She glanced at Jiyoon at the bench who was daring her to lie with her eyes.

“Not really all that to her, but I know the boyfriend.” She said.

You glanced at Namjoon, a small nod in his direction.

“Miss Son, this trial is for Miss Jiyoon Lee, not the boyfriend. Why would you apply with Counselor Kim for this testimony?” you asked.

“I…look, Kinjo is bad, ok? Anybody affiliating with him must be too.”

There was a pause and you chanced a look of disbelief on the judge’s face, using it to fuel your punch.

“So, you made a guess as to Miss Lee’s innocence?”

“Your honor,” Namjoon called but you beat him to it.

“I’ll rephrase that. Why did you not tell Mr. Kim you were one of Kinjo’s ‘affiliations’?

The blow had landed. You could see the jury had put its heads together. You held in your grin, knowing Namjoon probably had his head in his hands, figuratively at least.

“I…we broke up.”

“He dumped you. For Jiyoon; would you say this was your shot at revenge? Or were you really concerned about Miss Jiyoon’s future?”

“Objection,”

“Retracted; do you have any concrete proof of Miss Lee’s misconduct?”

She was quiet for a bit, even after you repeated the question and she sighed.

“No, for the record I really thought he must’ve turned her into a drug peddler when they were dating.” She said.

“The session is based on facts, Miss Son, not your thoughts.” This time it was the judge. “We will dismiss this witness of yours, Counselor Kim.” She told Namjoon.

You were backing away to the seats again when Jimin leaned over to you a mumbled word in his voice.

“Jungkook is here, Miss Y/L/N. He wants to show the courtroom something on your behalf.”

You turned a puzzled look at Jimin before nodding and standing.

“Your honor, we have some evidence we would like to enter into consideration.”

“What more could there be?” Namjoon stood up as well.

“The perpetrator himself, Mr. Kim,” The voice came from the doors where you turned to see Jungkook, perfect as usual striding towards the front, two officers holding a cuffed bedraggled man with them.

His face was swollen, eyes bloodshot and skin pale.

“Kinjo,” you heard Jiyoon gasp and Jungkook nodded.

“We found the man himself responsible for this your Honor. He was good at hiding but not that good when you’re high as a kite.”

There was a flurry of movement as people began to fidget in their seats to get a good look at the man.

You glanced at Jungkook, jaw dropped even as he smiled, teeth on display, childishly pleased.

The car drew into one of the open guest parking spots of the apartment and you glanced down at your phone, making sure that this was indeed where Jeon lived.

Getting out you pulled your coat tighter around you before walking to the double doors of the apartment building, giving your name and contact before moving to the elevators, taking it right up to his floor.

Your mind flowed in contemplation, chalking up exactly what you were going to say to him. He hadn’t told you about anything before going up against the teacher, he hadn’t told you about going after Kinjo, finding him and now you wanted an explanation.

You were the face defendant here and you had a right to know what he was up to.

You made a final check of Jungkook’s address before shoving the phone away for good, taking a deep breath, facing his mahogany door. Your hand rose before raining a light drizzle of knocks on it, drawing back quickly.

It took a second, his voice calling out from inside to wait and you did before the door swung inside, revealing a rumpled Jeon Jungkook, a simple black t-shirt and sweats on him, a far cry from how he’s usually dressed for work. Glasses perched low on the bridge of his nose.

“Y/N,” he frowned, opening the door a bit more, “What’s going on? What are you doing here?”

“Are you busy, I need to talk to you about something?” you asked in turn.

“Yeah sure,” he moved away, opening the door further to let you in and you moved into his apartment, hearing him close and bolt the door.

You stood with your back to him, studying his home as he set up the security.

Jeon Jungkook’s private space was just like him; neat, organized and gleaming with proper care. It was nice to see he wasn’t a complete frat boy with his house. There were familiar blue azaleas scattered through some nooks and a pleasant smell drifted from them.

Now you knew why he always smelled so floral.

You turned to see him move away from the door, running his hands over the back of his sweats to his waist.

“Yeah, so what’s wrong?”

“What are you trying to do?” you asked, filter less as usual.

He tilted his head in question and you sighed in annoyance.

“The case, Jeon; you didn’t confer with me about the teacher, about Kinjo, you didn’t confer with me about anything. You just barged into my case like it was yours and I don’t even know why you’re doing it. Is it to make me look bad or something? Do you want people to think I’m stupid? Or is it purely selfish, you want people to think you’re so smart?”

“Whoa, back it up there.”

Jungkook moved closer to you, frown etching deeper into his brows. “What do you think is happening here? I’m not doing anything like that.”

“Then what is it that you’re doing?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“I didn’t ‘confer’ with you about the teacher because it struck me on the spot and I didn’t have time to talk it out with you and neither did I want to drag it out for another session. It’s a small case, Y/N, it’s better to wash our hands of it faster so Jiyoon can go back clean.”

“What about Kinjo?”

Jungkook sighed, placing his hands on your shoulders. You shot his hands a glance but he didn’t remove them.

“That’s on me, I’ll admit. I had Jimin go on with Hoseok to look for him from day one. When Jimin told me they’d had a hit, I didn’t want to get your hopes up until I had some proof.”

“So, you just dragged Kinjo right into the courtroom, without telling me.”

“Yes, that was stupid but I just…” he trailed off, looking around his house once before at you, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“I just wanted to impress you.”

You froze, looking at him with wide eyes.

No, he did not just…

“You what?” you asked sharply, certain that you had lost your hearing and he let out a pointed exhale.

“Call it stupid, but I’ve always been doing shit to impress you.”

You stared at him, still shell shocked, your mind rewinding to each overconfident grin he’d ever shot your way after his wins and he expected you to believe that he was trying to impress you?

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You call that impressing me?” You shook his hands from your shoulders, stepping far away from his hold.

Jungkook didn’t follow, choosing to watch as you paced.

“You were fine when we met. I thought you were cute at first then you turned into a smug, overconfident jackass almost overnight. Each and every case you’ve won against me, you’ve rubbed in my face and you really thought that your Gaston act impressed anyone, let alone me?”

“You thought I was cute?” he asked instead, a small smile brushing by his soft lips that I wiped off by smacking his chest.

“You aren’t anymore.”

“Oh come on, Y/N,” He scoffed, grabbing your hand. “You can’t tell me I’ve never once made you look twice at me. I know you have.”

You scowled heavily at him, trying to tug your hand back.

“Not for the reasons you think,”

He rolled his eyes in turn, using the hand in his grip to pull you swiftly against him, his hard chest pressing against yours as he wound his free arm around your waist, holding you in place.

“Then enlighten me,” he whispered.

You sucked in a breath, outrage ready to pour at him when he dipped his head, too quick for you to stop and pressed his lips against yours, drowning all the rages you could’ve hurled at him.

Your words guzzled out, a squeak replacing them as your own free hand came up to bunch the fabric at his shoulder. He pulled away, too fast for you to have gotten in and grinned at you.

“Did that impress you, Counselor?”

“Fuck you, Jeon.” You snarled, breaking his hold on you to grab his face between your hands, pulling his face down to kiss him properly, mouth open and teeth clashing once, twice before a tandem took its place, slow but rough.

“Oh I plan to let you do that.” He muttered against your mouth, his own hands coming up to cup your face, pulling away to peck at your lips, tugging your bottom petal between his mouth, leaving a stroke of his tongue on it.

You keened into him, balling the material of his shirt, feeling him guide you to the back of the couch, propping you against it.

“I’m thinking you didn’t plan to have sex with me tonight?” Jungkook asked, suddenly pulling away to give you a dilated look. You stuttered a little, blinking before looking down at your outfit.

“Clearly not,”

Jungkook looked conflicted and you gave him a warning tilt of eyebrow. “Are you going to pack me up and send me off to home?” you asked.

He laughed, hands possessively gripping you to him.

“Sure, and miss this…? I’ll be damned. No, I’m just thinking of the hearing tomorrow and time.”

“I’ll be fine, I’ll get home early.”

Jungkook let out a pained growl, running his lips down your jaw line. “That’s exactly the problem.”

“Are you planning on continuing this or not, Jeon?” you asked, finally.

“I definitely am, provided you let me take you out on a date tomorrow and we’ll see where it leads.”

You gave him a scrutinizing look before shrugging and Jungkook lunged for you, kisses hot and heavy again.

Your eyes fell closed, heart rocketing in your chest as Jungkook’s fingers reached the top of your coat, lifting the flaps to drop them on his couch.

Jungkook trailed a finger, the tickling sensation trickling slowly towards the buttons, dipping into your cleavage. He hissed. “Take your top off,” he said, disentangling himself from you to take a couple steps back, eyeing your chest.

You followed the same line he had made you, dipping you own fingers to the plunge as well, keeping his eyes there as you started to pop open buttons, each inch of skin exposed scorching immediately under Jungkook’s searing gaze. You let the shirt slip off your shoulders, aiming to be dainty and it fell away from your skin, landing on the sofa as well.

Jungkook was already moving even as the fabric left you, his own hands gripping the edge of his own shirt and lifting it over his head. The smooth planes of his stomach caught the shine of his ambient lighting and while he wasn’t muscular, he definitely took care of himself.

The defined abdomen clenched under your scrutiny and you reach out, placing a hand on the hot skin there, running it higher up his chest to curl around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him again.

The kiss was breathier than before, his hot exhale caressing your lips as he dragged his hands down to your legs, hoisting them up and around his waist.

You let out a squeal, feeling him chuckle at your reaction as he tracked a path to what you supposed was his bed room.

Sleek reds and grays, he nudged you down into the foamy mattress, keeping the lights down to a bare minimum.

“Nice house,” you complimented when he returned to you and he grinned.

“I’ll give you a proper tour tomorrow,” he said, before his lips took over your own again, tongue softly lapping at the seal of your mouth, asking for permission.

Even as you teased him with no entrance, he was moving to the button of your pants, a quick flick of his fingers undoing them before they were crawling down, taking the trousers off with them. Your teasing, soon changed to a soft whimper when his fingers met the line of your panties; tugging at them to snap back against your skin and you gasped at the sudden move, letting him enter your mouth with a wide grin.

You hiked your legs up, clasping them around the back of his knees when he threw off the material and he took the hint, beginning to push you back to rest against the pillows.

He pulled away, eyeing you lying in his bed before he held up a finger, crawling towards one of the nightstands, most likely to fetch a condom.

You smirked, sitting up to undo your bra and slid your panties off quickly, tossing them to the floor while he turned, glasses gone, eyes blowing open wide to see you spread your legs for him.

“Wow,” was all he said, quickly crawling back to you, condom thrown to a side as he placed a hand on the hot skin of your thigh, running it up to the apex, before chancing a look up at you.

“May I touch you?” He asked.

You smiled up at the nervous glint in his eyes. “Yes,”

Fingers entered you with no more hesitation, making a loud groan erupt from you as your back arched, your core pushing further into his hand.

“Fuck,” he hissed, hand travelling down to grip his cock, already pressing into the fabric of his sweatpants.

“Why don’t you get rid of that?” you asked breathily, watching him struggle to get traction as he tried to palm himself and he grunted a complaint before pulling away from you to quickly tug the rest of his clothes off, throwing them away wildly.

A soft sigh of relief escaped him when his visibly red hardness met the cool air of the room and he watched as you trailed the tips of your own fingers down to your hole, easing a finger in and letting out a tantalizing whine.

Jungkook leaned forward, eyes fixed on you as the top of his hair brushed your stomach. He licked a quick stripe over your clit, before his free hand was coming up to pull your hand free and into his own mouth.

His tongue wrapped around the digit, sucking over the essence that clung to it and he closed his eyes, letting out a pleased hum.

The sight made you gulp when he opened his eyes, fixing you with a steady gaze.

Popping your fingers out his mouth he made a show of licking his lips when you jumped into action.

You pressed up against Jungkook, pushing him back into position to lie back on the pillows before you were wrapping a hand around the base of his throbbing member.

Jungkook let out a choked sound, lifting onto his elbows, watching as you bent over his cock, letting pooled saliva from your mouth drip on to the tip. Your hand dragged painstakingly to the tip, thumb swirling over the top to mix your juices and his precum together.

“Jesus, Y/N, that’s so fucking hot.” Jungkook whined, rubbing his hands over his face as you gave him your most sultry look.

Jungkook felt around for the foil and handed you the packet, letting you rip it open and slide it onto him. Rolling it on, you smiled, biting on to your lips.

Holding his gaze, just as he had done to you, you slowly pushed him into the cavern of your mouth, taking in each inch of covered skin methodically, rubbing the surface of your tongue against the hardened velvet.

Jungkook was clawing at his hair now, whining even more than you as you popped up, letting his cock cool down while smiling coyly, rubbing your thumb over your lips to gracefully wipe the string of juices your action had left.

“Y/N, please, please, sit on it,” Jungkook cried, his hands, strong with desperation pulling you on top of him.

“Whoa,” you said, reaching out to balance yourself on top of him as he reached down between your bodies, lining him with your core.

“Shh, relax,” you crooned, speaking softly as he turned a pained look to you.

“I can’t bloody well – oh – my, fucking god.” He growled, as you let yourself sink down on him, his length sheathing into your hot, wet clenching pussy.

Jungkook threw his head back, hands digging into your hips as you began to roll over his. Every clench and drag of your walls against him made him let out a soft grunt, eyes closed as he let you move and take control.

He looked beautifully fucked out…because of you.

In front of your mesmerized eyes, his nipples swelled and you did the one thing your own pleasure hazed mind could think of.

You bent over him, hair tickling his chest as you engulfed his peak into your mouth, tongue brushing over it while your fingers sought the other.

Jungkook’s voice broke into a long groan, eyes flying open to look at you sucking away at his chest and his grip on you tightened, if possible, lifting you till he was pounding up into you.

Your control snapped, as the angle he was holding you in, allowed him to hit that stupidly sweet spot and pleasure sparked white gold in your vision. Jungkook pulled you closer to him, mouth nuzzling into your breasts, pants falling from his open mouth.

He flipped you, in a broken, graceless maneuver before he was plunging into you again, keeping your legs open for him, one hand wrapped around your ankle, pushing it high and back as he calculatingly stroked against your spot and your toes curled, and one hand clawing into his sheets as he pushed you into oblivion.

Hot, fiery pleasure burned you through, singing your body as Jungkook followed with a deep growling grunt ending in whines as he emptied himself into the rubber.

It took you a few moments to open your eyes, Jungkook collapsing over you to press tired kisses against your shoulder, a deep hum of satisfaction sounding in your ears.

It was going to be hell getting up and going to work tomorrow.

“Keeping the defense and the jury in mind, we clear Miss Lee Jiyoon of all charges.”

There was a pause, a small lull as the judge signed her statement, snapping the nib in place before a light buzz of cheer broke out.

You turned back to your bench with a grin as Jiyoon jumped up, shock written clear over her face.

“Did…I just get acquitted?” she whispered even as her mother called for her attention.

You smiled. “Yep, you did and we have information that Kinjo is going very far for a very long time, so you won’t have to see him ever again.”

Jiyoon smiled widely, throwing an arm around you that you patted before she was racing off, green hair flying, into her mother’s arms.

“Good job, Y/N; Drinks are on me, as are those junior partner papers. My office, tomorrow,” Yuna muttered as she followed Yoongi out. You gestured Mina to meet you at the car, walking out of the courtroom.

“Y/N, great work in there,”

You turned to see Namjoon walking towards you, hands tucked into your pocket, beaming.

“Hey, you too,” you grinned as he pulled you into a customary one armed hug, a rough pat on your back.

“Well, good luck on your next one, I’m hoping to go up against you again in the future.” He crowed.

“Sure, as long as it’s not Jungkook.” You mocked back as his eyes flickered over your head; a teasing smiled tugging at his lips.

“Jungkook, huh?” he asked and you flushed, looking down as he stepped back.

“Mr. Kim,” you heard another voice join you and Jeon Jungkook stepped next to you, bowing his head towards the older man.

“Counselor Jeon,” Namjoon nodded back, glancing between the two of you with a smirk. “Seems like you guys talked stuff out,”

“Shut up, Joon!” you gasped and he laughed, dodging your smack before looking at Jeon.

“Take good care of my girl, you hear Jeon?”

“Loud and clear, Mr. Kim,” Jungkook mumbled as with a parting smile Namjoon left you and him.

Even before you blinked, you were in his arms, strong bands of muscle holding you as he grinned cheekily down at him.

“I’ll be sure to take care of my girl.”

“Your girl?” you laughed up at him.

“Yep,” he leaned in to place his mouth against your temple. “I hated waking up without you in my bed. I like you that much.”

“Right, do you have evidence to support your claim?” you asked, turning your ‘attorney’ look on him.

He rolled his eyes. “I do, in fact,” he slipped something from his pocket, holding a blue azalea stem out to you.

“I saw you had a fascination for this.”

“It was more like fascination as to why you always smelled like one.”

Jungkook paused, looking down at the flower before laughing out loud, tucking the flower into your ear.

“Now you can smell like me, in more ways than one.”

You groaned at the innuendo. “What am I going to do with you?”

“You’re stuck with me. Deal with it.”

#jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #bts #bts smut #bts angst #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #azaleas

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sirjustice2-blog · 4 years

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Manual 12 v timer vs no fuel generator

https://www.google.com/search?q=no+fuel+generator+images&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiatKiLj9bnAhUj8uAKHZ9QCxkQsAR6BAgHEAE&biw=1280&bih=910#imgrc=cZZ2_xCkLRo71M

https://www.google.com/search?q=dc+timer+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjmnorDkNbnAhVFC2MBHVsPBDUQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910#imgrc=FEWSmqSwYYNC7M

The lands with oil, God did not settle those people in those lands, after the jew migrated to temperate lands after the Green-man left Europe and America 4 Venus planet they distributed them from the land Green-man left as they were slaves in those lands. God made it that way so we are jew, though we are lazy our lands got enough to spare, so what u gonna do in the link below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jyk4YkvCJ8

The nyamwezi, mlk got nyamwezi blood and many world leaders, following the moon to no end so called people of the moon, not only masai walks but as well The nyamwezi loving crime scenes or showing pity to crimes. Tomato, nyanya, tm got dat blood, good leaders along time b4 intermarriages destroy the gene, Malagasy and masai folks got the nyamwezi gene of being good. Their skin is always shiny like in the link below and soft as supple not dry skin like incarnated people, the tribe love central places as in tz they live at tabora/shinyanga are, google to find out dude

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=belle+9+ft+blue

The below is explained by the above link as they want to follow kebi to no end

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0ZUbFVgZpc

https://www.britannica.com/place/Sao-Tome-and-Principe

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Eritrea

https://www.google.com/search?q=photos+of+ewe+togo+women&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjE0NnXhdjnAhVOXMAKHVyYD4MQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

https://www.google.com/search?q=kabiye+women+tribe+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjI9pyfhtjnAhUMWsAKHXhfCXkQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

Most nyamwezi people are tingrinya blooded and vice versa as well as many sao tome and principle nationals. They are free people not wanting others food and can survive both in hardship and in riches, they are hustlers and Asmara in luo means the booty is mine bim, abimalech in the bible with abraham while bim is appe who dont see that his booty is deep red while abuse another 1 that his booty is red, the red indians got dat blood dude as nelson kevin bro. Rateng ti, titi they love, nyap they look like as weak stepping on wrong stone. Tigrinya also got the togo tribe blood of swollen eye, the ewe is the tribe am talking about who are tigrinya blooded. Kabiye are ewe when j is added is jew which they forgot along time “as kebi warned them of the dire consequences of intermarriage when he was the secretary of war during the Portuguese inversion era“ They are masai blooded from the mothers side, their men married the women not vice versa bringing forth a polite understanding tribe b4 the masai destroyed their genes by marrying the batak tribe from Indonesia who are rude, tough-headed as the negro and cannibal, having sweet mouth or high appetite for sweet things with big booty women, they loved the booty, their men, so see what big booty can do to a tribe. Be warned let history not repeat itself to destroy further the tribes genes to destroy the world as bring rude UN-understanding people, war lovers or lay dude and even murderers.

God dont want like the hindu thing of monitoring other people, they ought to be free like in the movies of robotics like the transformers, and people not to eat gmo but firm esp usa to give up on ammunition and firm like along time

Ruth wasn't around at the time of accident that befell Kobe Briant to prove she was the 1 sponsored, to prove look at her eye, mama trevah of kb, ksm.

Lets sensitize client nations to resort to artificial tea by putting a small amount in the dough, pour cold water and boom the tea to save their country foreign exchange as well with flowers and coffee. Click the link below 4 more

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=nations+that+buy+most+kenya+tea

https://www.flowercompanies.com/category/export-KE

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=kenya+coffe+international+market

Peugeot car is dough mixed with cola soda or the cola soda bottles inserted inside, range rover is the reverse, the orange soda, faw is sped, spoon placed in the dough, mercedez is human fece, mafi in the dough or casava as well as itallian car, cmc is plastics placed in dough, jaguar is casava as well dude, many nissan cars are brest or penis placed in the dough, click the link below 4 more cars. With the shinny usa trucks, pumpkin or melons placed in the dough, suzuki is shoes, Mitsubishi is newspaper or bringanya placed in dough

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_automobile_manufacturers_of_Italy

https://www.google.com/search?q=images+of+trucks+used+in+usa&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjc6tiqvtrnAhWOYcAKHazxDSkQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910#imgrc=1rsq5Aw-twtGaM

Any1 who has found sites in the net dat gives free cash, report and the amount to be given to ya already specified to facilitate truth in money issues once money is place on computer. Motor bike booking software, either available or not available to notify the clients instead of creating hooliganism on roadsides.

If most gadgets are made using Euphobia and dough that can slow down economic procedures then nothing to do but cut the tree and its roots from the public and let the govt grow it as well as mango hit on the wall, remove it from homesteads and dough not to be sold on shops but its products prepared and sold in the supermarkets whether expensive but eliminates the former. Easy dude dat way. For the lazy, death is the remedy or the justice, die we u bury ya b4 u give birth to 4 such to disturb the next generation when those who can combat such are long gone, better pass now we buy coffin and we bury ya, less words dude

They locate men with land and lias with the relative to kill others 4 1 to remain to benefit, at dat time if they see u with a woman they form a new jealousy, kill some1 then, we now know the rende/group, if we put a coin on the palm of the hand with the photo of the dead we came back to the group we cut ya likewise, no kidding bro. If u ought to omit ya name from the property ownership cause they cant hit u, u walk well not at night in lonely paths, they organize a lie and dont get ya as they want to marshal and beat u up, the uhuru men liaising with local white-men, look at what they have got themselves into mr whitemen as hindu, pure jealousy. U r the 1 they know to benefit and we got pulse rate watch to eradicate identity theft 4 those who transfigure to ya image to facilitate documentation of property ownership when they elope with ya, so are bothered which makes them force the property is yours even with wide body women if see u with a small lady they do the above. Dude where will it take u dude

When ruth has finished the job, mr uhuru and raila proceeds to the usa to take the ransom amount to the cartel bro, while the money kobe got in the crib is taken and put right on use. But its a blessing in disguise, he never help me in facilitating justice on my case cause i used to comment on his posts while he got the capability to escalate my case further to get international hearing and justice achieved.

Expand ya business in the USA using funds from grants at www.grants.com

https://22bet.co.ke/?tag=d_281991m_18431c_wo5oaf05qo15el0t1tnd3e0j&pb=800ebaa33751438cb59675fd21e126a6&click_id=wo5oaf05qo15el0t1tnd3e0j

Let the judges found, they just give u a lawyer if u dont have cash and does shoddy work and ya case goes to the worst ending up being a criminal. Let each jail have a software where any jailed can be given a judge prior then in not more than 100 words explain their case to the judge to avoid the former on the lawyer. They just sit in their offices using precedents to rule others case and take big chunk of taxpayers money at court time what u have written given to the court and u as well to facilitate justice.

The pressure cooker in the link below when exposing out hot fumes is the same technology the steam generator uses as i have researched via google or the little know how i got. When u have given all the names of tumblr a/c they purpoted to have deleted which they have learnt they cant delete, they pop up with their own, like kanze not saying in full or obama as i had seduced the earlier or if u look at a car u wanna buy or a house and form new jealousy they have created the kikuyu blooded men, silly character to will end thats the happiness. Now if u wait 4 me to kill myself, u will wait untill Christ comes back, with all at alibabashopping its a plus to me and justice even at amazonshopping

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883&q=images+of+steam+generators+from+china&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiTgNWJ19jnAhUInxQKHYJSDGQQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1280&bih=881

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883&q=images+of+pressure+cooker&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiMrtWN2NjnAhX06OAKHUFBDmoQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=881

Killing myself a longtime was viable but now with no fuel generator, automatic locks and E-vehicle, its like forcing water out plastic Cyprus tree which is cumbersome. They wanna buy the kevs AE in kevinelson mondy facebook a/c yet other nations have made it and its not patented. Kebi saying give me women instead, i will select them on the computer and will open E-bus and E-public yacht, speed boat 4 them and built hotel with the profits, thats how i will maintain them bro. images of the above in the links below, keep ya money to ya self Mr trumpielo

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883&q=images+of+a-yacht&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjs9YSF2djnAhWu0eAKHaAzB5IQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=881

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883&q=e-bus+images&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwibyPuf2djnAhWOHxQKHb–DvcQsAR6BAgIEAE&biw=1280&bih=881

https://www.google.com/search?q=e-airplanes&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjyx5Sh2djnAhXUwYUKHaHyDTMQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=e-airplanes&gs_l=img.3..0i8i30.10084.13688..13940…0.0..0.234.2113.0j9j2……0….1..gws-wiz-img…….0j0i67j0i30j0i5i30j0i8i10i30.WcyAq62ystg&ei=ypVKXvK6LtSDlwSh5beYAw&bih=881&biw=1280&rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883#imgrc=pjAwQZ49IBspVM

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883&q=motels+of+the+highway+images&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiT_LO42djnAhWJsBQKHYCdCcIQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1280&bih=881

Kankata cars made with plastic like acid bottles or cooking fat bottles inserted on the dough as well as old papers or newspapers while esar coins or money put inside dough or euphobia mixed with water and the above inserted, meaning Egyptians are making money cause money of any nation made that way by inserting their own cash in the dough bringing forth high population dude

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883&q=kankata+car+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiQh9fI2djnAhUKAGMBHUogDcMQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=881

https://www.google.com/search?q=esar+car+photos&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwih0a7K2djnAhUK8xoKHQFCBPIQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=esar+car+photos&gs_l=img.3…9693.10663..11769…0.0..0.226.849.0j1j3……0….1..gws-wiz-img…….0i7i30j0i7i5i30j0i8i7i30.Gu74DXWsfqg&ei=IZZKXuG8Corma4GEkZAP&bih=881&biw=1280&rlz=1C1CHBD_enKE883KE883#imgrc=7EWHVqQnnktQfM

https://www.google.com/search?q=no+fuel+generator+images&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiatKiLj9bnAhUj8uAKHZ9QCxkQsAR6BAgHEAE&biw=1280&bih=910#imgrc=cZZ2_xCkLRo71M

https://www.google.com/search?q=dc+timer+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjmnorDkNbnAhVFC2MBHVsPBDUQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910#imgrc=FEWSmqSwYYNC7M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jyk4YkvCJ8

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=belle+9+ft+blue

The below is explained by the above link as they want to follow kebi to no end

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0ZUbFVgZpc

https://www.britannica.com/place/Sao-Tome-and-Principe

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Eritrea

https://www.google.com/search?q=photos+of+ewe+togo+women&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjE0NnXhdjnAhVOXMAKHVyYD4MQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

https://www.google.com/search?q=kabiye+women+tribe+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjI9pyfhtjnAhUMWsAKHXhfCXkQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

sirjustice1

sirjustice3

sirjustice2

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furtsonmondeUntitledmyrobimsonUntitledbradleynelsonUntitledcompanymotoUntitledmyminajUntitledmonitorlizardsUntitledadholadicktatorUntitledourmischiefUntitledsignupbrotherUntitledeuniceriversideUntitledkebiyouthUntitledwekasasaUntitledplatosmondeUntitledkingodliathUntitledseasoutheastasiaUntitledmrshownemondeUntitledfarmermillsfunstonUntitledmagdalindiewreUntitledsnitchbaseUntitledmondethekoUntitledmonglosesmosesUntitledwensenseblouseUntitledsasawezaUntitledmortongillotUntitledmondeparkerUntitledosienelsonmondeUntitledeberhartnelsonUntitledmondefederorUntitleddeukweliUntitleddetrutUntitledsirwrongUntitledkebiwemanomalokoyouUntitlednoregreatsmeUntitledgetrudebroUntitlednelsonmorndeUntitledkisiindiansUntitledsirtrutfulUntitledmasaindianekoUntitledyesusnakenedyUntitledmynamenelsonmonde

nosidemanUntitlednonsidedUntitledkittenedymiaumiauonyaspusyUntitledhotsoupoUntitlednamenelsonmondeUntitledgluttonedyUntitlednorthwhiteheadmondeUntitledkevinsumbandlynetgarthenjiUntitledcoreyhurlUntitledadminsharonpattersonUntitledmisvalesUntitledalisonmitchststevensheltermnUntitledjeniferbringsmnUntitledmrsclarakennedyUntitledkimberlyreedsUntitledshitty-car-mods-dailyShitty Car ModsmrpumpingadrianUntitledaintjesusperiodUntitlednelsonekoUntitledaintmosesUntitledaintkingnebuchadnezaUntitledaintanychristdiscipleUntitledaintkingdavidnorhisonperiodUntitledaintnobiblekingUntitledaintanybibleprophetUntitledaintanybiblepersonalityUntitledaintanybiblefigureUntitledsermonspeechesUntitledmrnotunderstandingUntitlednotanybiblemaleUntitledaintanybiblewomanormaleUntitledaintanybiblewomanUntitledafricanisedUntitledfreeofchargebibleUntitledaintanybiblicalfigureUntitlednotanybiblewriterUntitledcarnamesUntitledaintherodaughterUntitledmcsleepyfollowersUntitledwalmatstoresUntitled longpascodeUntitledmcsleepynelsonUntitled

The above are tumblr names in between the word untitled before or after where the where the tumblr name dont fall between untitled. Just remove untitled on both end and tumblr search the name and no kidding you got me, like in the below the tumblr name is mcsleepynelson and life moves on like usual

UntitledmcsleepynelsonUntitled

Get a job link below

https://www.explainedge.com/how-to-get-a-job-in-the-usa/?utm_source=castaneous-otter_zulu-ale-jNKgEusn&utm_medium=zeropark&utm_campaign=Zeropark_101Explainedge_Job_Kenya

Folks dont open up like sirjustice10 b4 i reach there, as competing with me like in the song below breeding confusion, my dying time was all gone only on planned or natural ways

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpS4zxYDGgE

It wont tire me to give pride to the booty of a woman i love to fuck, sitachoka nakupatia hagar za minaj, theresa,robinson and many sifa. Wasee siutani, the text ni, ‘It wont tire me, okablo ol oloo’ swears kebi in an intercourse.

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theregarderunfilmworld-blog · 5 years

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What Is Easy1UP: Is it a Scam or Legit?

youtube

What Is Easy1UP: Is it a Scam or Legit?

By the time you end studying this post, you'll know what this product is all about. And naturally, i shall be answering all of the above questions and likewise clarify how Straightforward 1Up actually works.

What Precisely Is Easy 1Up?

According to them, Easy 1Up is “all about empowering entrepreneurs find out how to 1up their competitors”. And to be able to enable you try this they've created 5 coaching programs (their merchandise). These programs will educate you all the pieces you must find out about online advertising and networking. In the event you purchase these 5 programs and follow the coaching you'll discover ways to earn a living online. In different words, Easy 1Up presents itself as an internet advertising training center. However once more that’s according to them.

How Easy 1Up Works

The best way Easy 1Up works is quite common. There are tons of of digital merchandise obtainable on-line that don't have anything to do with Straightforward 1Up however function in the identical means. All of them declare that earning profits online is easy and simple should you observe their system and purchase their “levels”. All you need to do is send visitors to their gross sales web page and they're going to take care the remainder. Though that feels like a easy factor to do it isn't simple.

Think about Digital Altitude for a second. I don’t know in case you are acquainted with that product or not however a few years in the past it was virtually in every single place on-line. It was promoted as the brand new finest solution to earn plenty of cash online and if anybody dared to say that Digital Altitude is a rip-off their members would immediately assault you. Nicely just a few months in the past the FTC shut them down for fraud.

Products

Like i already mentioned there are 5 products you should buy inside Easy 1Up. There may be additionally a 10% admin price on all of them. You solely must pay as soon as for every product (one-time funds). Though there aren't plenty of pros about Easy 1Up the very fact they do reveal the costs of their products is a positive factor.

This is their most cost-effective product. It provides fundamental details about community advertising and social media lead era. From my expertise, the first degree all the time acts as a reminder why it's essential to purchase the subsequent ones. The knowledge is often generic and never particular enough. I doubt you will have the ability to generate any leads with that product alone.

Elevation Elite ($100 + $10)

This product focuses extra on find out how to use video advertising (YouTube, Udemy) and social media to generate leads.

Vertex ($250 + $25)

This product is all about affiliate marketing online. Though the one factor you may be selling is Straightforward 1Up.

Vertex Elite ($500 + $50)

Right here you'll discover ways to generate free visitors and likewise drop shipping.

Vertex Professional “Connect” ($1000 + $100)

This is their newest coaching course and right here you'll discover ways to create Fb adverts. There may be additionally coaching about different social media platforms like LinkedIn, Instagram, Tumblr and so on.

So, as you can see in keeping with them their coaching programs cowl virtually all the pieces. Many of the coaching is within the type of movies. And should you wish to be taught all the pieces about on-line advertising you'll have to purchase all of them. After all, there is no such thing as a level in doing that for the reason that solely means to earn a living is by recruiting others. I don’t know the way drop shipping will help you with that. Like i mentioned above the coaching is there as a result of it needs to be.

What’s the bottom line?

There may be all the time an opportunity to earn a living selling the products above. Somebody would possibly click on your affiliate and find yourself shopping for one this products. However you aren't actually promoting a helpful product or a service. The coaching is not going to be used to construct an online business. You might be simply reselling the extent you simply purchased and your referrals should do the identical. You created nothing.

Producing leads on-line is just not simple. Regardless of how easy and simple some individuals make it sound it's best to know it isn't. Driving visitors to your affiliate hyperlink is just not simple. Changing your visitors into clients can be not simple. Believing you will generate leads for Easy 1Up by spending $50 on Fb adverts is unrealistic. Creating profitable social media campaigns is a mixture of understanding your target market and private expertise. Plenty of expertise. If it was that simple everybody can be earning profits by selling their affiliate links on Fb. However the statistics present us that almost all social media adverts fail to convey any clients.

Online advertising doesn’t work like that today. Posting your hyperlinks in every single place on the social media hoping somebody will purchase is a waste of time. Particularly if you end up promoting one thing that gives no actual services or products.

Refund Coverage

There are not any refunds. That’s not unusual relating to digital merchandise and it isn't essentially an indication that the product is a rip-off. That’s as a result of plenty of individuals will purchase a digital product copy its content material after which ask for a refund. That’s why it's fairly strange for digital products to not offer refunds.

I'm not implying something right here. I'm simply saying that should you purchase any of the products Easy 1Up provides (which i don’t recommend) don’t count on a refund. Additionally, don’t overlook there is no such thing as a free trial.

Conclusion

The cons vastly outnumber the professionals. The proprietor’s historical past, the lack of an actual service/product, the plethora of negative reviews and the best way it's promoted online (not solely by Easy 1Up but in addition by their affiliates) as the brand new solution to “make massive cash and fast” leaves me no doubts that this is a product it's best to keep away from.

So, is Easy 1Up a scam or not?

Nicely, actually i don’t like utilizing such phrases and that i don’t imagine it's as much as me to find out if one thing is a rip-off or not. In any case, i'm not a choose or a lawyer. However Easy 1Up is a program i might by no means recommend. And of course, one thing i might by no means be a part of myself. It doesn’t matter if it's reliable or not products like which can be a monumental waste of time. The overwhelming majority who be a part of Straightforward 1Up will earn nothing. It will value you a lot much less to create your individual online enterprise.

#easy #easy1up

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dmsden · 6 years

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Back to the Table – Returning to Gaming after an Absence

Hullo, Gentle Readers. This week’s Question from a Denizen comes from 2amscones (my new favorite Tumblr name) who asks, “Any advice for a seasoned DM who is just getting to play again for the first time in years? And on top of that playing online for the first time ;) thanks!”

So I initially wondered if 2am scones meant that they were a seasoned DM getting back into DMing for the first time in years, or if they were getting to be a player for the first time in years. Either way, I thought it was an interesting question, so I figured I’d tackle both sides of it.

If you’re a DM who hasn’t DMed for a while, I’m sure everyone is excited to welcome you back. Let’s face it – the DM to player ratio is strongly skewed to the play side. We DMs are a rarer breed, but, I’m glad to say, seem to be increasing, slowly. Might be because 5E is a very friendly game for new DMs. Folks are feeling emboldened to give it a try.

Honestly, my advice is to try to relax and enjoy yourself. Running RPGs is a bit like riding a bike. You haven’t forgotten how. You might be a bit rusty, but that rust is sure to clear up quickly.

Beyond that, I give you my standard advice for DMs.

Don’t over-prepare. Have a rough guideline, but be ready for the players to take you in odd directions.

Hold a Session Zero to set the correct expectations with your players. Figure out what motivates them and see if they have any specific character goals, or anything they, as players, want. For example, if one of my players said that she’d never fought a behir, and she’d really like to, I wouldn’t hesitate to put one into the campaign. Likewise, if one player said that they thought it’d be really cool if they eventually found an intelligent sword, I’d make sure that one appeared eventually.

Talk to your players often and openly. Find out what they want from the game and give it to them. That’s not to say make it easy. Players like it best when they feel like they overcame tremendous odds through ingenuity and skill. Make it hard on them, even if it means beefing up your challenges a little mid-combat.

When your rogue rolls to detect traps and rolls poorly, always smile and say, “You don’t think there are any traps,” whether there are or not.

When you want to make your players nervous, roll dice behind your screen, pretend to consult a chart…then wince. That will put them on edge, but use this trick sparingly.

Write down anything that you improv in game. You never know when it’ll be important later.

If you want to look shockingly prepared, have a list of unused names that feel appropriate for various races or cultures. When your players ask a random shopkeeper their name, and you say, “Ah, my name is Fastarion, friend,” they will be impressed as heck that you had a name ready. Just make sure to write it down so you can use it next time. Players have a habit of falling in love with NPCs who were meant to be one shots.

When it comes to advice about moving to the other side of the screen from the DM’s chair, I have some thoughts as well.

Try not to mess up your fun by thinking, “Huh…I would’ve handled that this way.” This is very challenging.

Don’t be a rules lawyer. If the DM is making a ruling that goes against the rules, they may have a reason. At the end of the session, you can always ask them.

Offer to take care of something for the DM like keeping track of initiative, changing music to fit the mood of the game, or looking up spell effects. Odds are that the DM will be happy to have this handled by someone else, and it’ll help keep you invested.

Make sure the DM knows how happy you are to be a player for a change. Try to be the best player you can. Share the spotlight with other players, and try to keep very engaged with what’s going on.

And again, try to relax and have fun.

Honestly, those are good bits of advice for any player, former DM or otherwise.

I don’t have a lot of advice for online gaming, as I don’t do a lot of it myself. I do have a player who joins us from the other coast via Google Hangouts, but that’s not quite the same thing. My best advice is to be patient and go out of your way to make sure everyone is heard. You can’t control technological issues (I’m reminded of when the gnome cleric Pike was Skyping into the Critical Role podcast in the form of an “astral projection”), so try not to let them spoil the game.

2amscones, I hope that you’re excited to be getting back to the game in either position. Let us know how it feels to be back at the table.

#D&D #d&d #d&d 5e #d&d 5th edition #Dungeons and Dragons #dungeons & dragons #dungeon master #dnd #DnD stuff #dnd shenanigans #DnD 5e #dnd 5th edition #dm advice #gm advice #rpg

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pastorncamisonkhambulepsworld · 3 years

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THURSDAY OCT 28 2021 Jesus gave us the story of the good Samaritan as example of the attitude of heart that we should have as children of God. The Jew that is injured and the Samaritan that helps him could represent the attitude we should have towards people with different opinions to us, different cultures, different beliefs or different social classes. The Jews and the Samaritans were considered enemies of each other in theses times and generally would not even speak with one another. Yet Jesus shows us how a godly neigbour should act towards another. Especially another in need, in trouble, sick or lost. We all know the story but let us read it again with our own attitudes towards others that are different from us in mind. Luke 10:25-37 [25]And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” [26]He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it? ” [27]So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’ ” [28]And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.” [29]But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” [30]Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. [31]Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. [32]Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. [33]But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. [34]So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. [35]On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’ [36]So which of these three (at Kingdom of eSwatini) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVj1O4gMP9B/?utm_medium=tumblr

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simplyoriginalcharacters · 7 years

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How to Write Characters in Realistic Polyamorous Relationships

Earlier this week, an anonymous follower asked: Any advice for writing a REALISTIC poly relationship?

Friend, you are in luck. As a polyamorous person, I’m always looking for more stories that include good poly representation! So first, we’re going to dig into some information about what poly is and what it isn’t, go over some vocabulary, and discuss how polyamorous relationships function in the real world, and then I’ll get into some dons and don’ts for writing polyamorous relationships. Read on under the cut!

Let’s start with some disclaimers here. When I say “involved with” in this piece, or when I refer to a relationship, those can mean that two (or more) people are engaged sexually, romantically, or platonically (or queerplatonically!) with each other, or any combination of those. We’ll get more into why that is in a moment. Additionally, everything I’m going to tell you here is based on my own experiences as a poly person and my own knowledge of the poly community and typical poly practices, so make sure that you continue your research and don’t just take my word for anything. Last, please keep in mind that since every poly person is different and every relationship is different, I can’t tell you how to write poly characters, but what I can do is give you a solid base of information to start working from so that you can start figuring out what your poly character’s relationships look like and how they affect your character. Okay, let’s move on!

So we’ll start with some basics here. The simplest shape a relationship takes is two people, right? That’s monoamory, more commonly referred to as monogamy. Monoamory refers to two people who are in a relationship with each other, and monogamy refers to two people who are married to each other. Any relationship that involves more than two people, whether or not all of the people in that relationship are partners with all of the other people in that relationship, is called a “polycule” - that’s because when you map these relationships out, they look like molecules! Some common relationship shapes are mapped out below, with the appropriate terminology. (I apologize for the image quality - I had to cut this in half and Tumblr still didn’t like it!)

Here we see a monoamorous or monogamous relationship, a poly vee, a poly triangle, a poly N or Z, and a poly quad. Beneath that, you can see a poly network, showing how different poly relationships can be connected to each other. A polycule can be very small, or it can be very, very large; it can be closed or open; it can involve relationships that are just local, or there can be long-distance partners too; it can mean that relationships are sexual, romantic, or platonic (or queerplatonic!) or some mix of two or three of these; it can include some short-term and some long-term commitments, no commitment, or only short-term or long-term commitments. Polycules can look like just about anything!

There is some terminology you won’t find on my diagram. In the poly vee example, Ajax is Bella’s paramour or partner, and Cameron is Ajax’s metamour, or the partner of his partner. In the poly N, Bart and Corrine are metamours, while in the Z, it’s Ariel and Diane. A “closed” relationship is one that isn’t open to new partners and an “open” relationship is one that is. Sometimes, open relationships come with stipulations agreed upon by the people involved. In the example of a poly network seen above, perhaps Gerald is asexual and Hannah is not, so they’ve agreed that Hannah may engage in a sexual relationship with one other partner and Hannah chose Fritz. This is just one of the ways in which a relationship may be open, but limited. Another concept I didn’t put in the diagram is the idea of “primary” and “secondary” (and even “tertiary”!) partners. Some people choose to rank their relationships in this manner, with a primary partner often being a long-term partner or a spouse and a secondary partner being someone they’re dating who isn’t seen as having the same amount of influence or importance. Often, a primary partner’s needs will come before a secondary partner’s, and a secondary partner’s needs will come before a tertiary partners. Not all polyamorous people use this system of categorization, but it works for some.

The most important thing to know is that polyamory rests on a foundation of informed consent. If someone has to go behind their partner’s back and can’t or won’t tell their partner that they’re involved with someone else, that’s not polyamory. That’s cheating, and it’s a really unfair thing to do to a partner. Some people aren’t interested in exploring poly relationships, and that’s okay! Poly relationships can take a lot of emotional labor and time. The other reason this isn’t cool is that if two partners haven’t discussed opening up their relationship and one partner decides to engage in unprotected sexual activity with a third, they could contract an STI and expose their first partner to it without the first partner’s knowledge. It’s never okay to endanger another person’s health. People should be aware of the possibilities so that they can give their informed consent and take appropriate action, like making sure that they and their partners are regularly screened for STIs.

Informed consent is one of the reasons that communication is so important in poly relationships. It’s also vital to monoamorous relationships, but in poly relationships, instead of juggling two peoples’ needs and schedules, you could be juggling three, four, or even more! Everyone deserves to be in relationships that meet their needs, and relationships take time to maintain, so in poly relationships, partners often spend a lot of time discussing…well, everything. While they’re dating, they might discuss their calendars, STI protection, whether the relationship is open or closed, and whether the relationship is short-term or long-term in nature. If they decide to commit to each other, how does that affect other partners, especially if one person is committed to more than one? Will they all live together, or separately, and if separately, how will they split their time? Will there be kids, and if so, who will raise them and how will their refer to a parent’s other partners, and what role will those partners have in the childrens’ lives? Who will pay the bills? What happens if they break up? Again, these are problems that monoamorous people have to discuss as well, but they can get really complicated in polyamorous relationships. A lot of poly people even get lawyers to help them figure these problems out, especially in a long-term, committed triad or quad relationship!

Communication is also the answer to one of the most commonly-faced issues in any relationship: jealousy. In its simplest form, jealousy is what tells us that something is wrong and our needs aren’t being met. Suppose that Ariel and Corrine go together to a wine tasting, and when looking at the pictures later on, Diane feels jealous - and she doesn’t even like wine! If she takes some time to think about why she feels jealous, she might realize that she’d like to spend more time with Ariel, and that she feels like they’re not as connected as they used to be. Once she understands the root of her jealousy, Diane can go to Ariel and explain to her that her needs are not being met, and they can work together to come up with a plan to address those needs. The next time Ariel shows Diane pictures of a wine tasting she attended with Corrine, perhaps Diane will simply be glad that her partner and her metamour had such a good time, and will be able to appreciate that Ariel has a relationship where she can share her love of wine with someone, because she’ll feel more secure in Ariel’s affections.

The other major problem with polyamory is that there’s no real road map for how it should go. We see monoamorous relationships all the time, in real life and in the fiction we consume, so we have a pretty good idea how those are supposed to play out: two people are interested in each other, they date, maybe they get married or have kids, maybe they stay together and maybe they don’t. With polycules, things get more complex. For example, you can only be legally married to one person, but you don’t need to file paperwork for a commitment ceremony if you want to commit to someone outside of your marriage, or if you don’t believe in marriage, or if you want to commit to multiple people without having one relationship seen as “more real” or “more important” than the others. However, if you’re not legally married, you aren’t entitled to the privileges and protections that people who are legally married are entitled to, which could become an issue if, say, your partner is sick and in the ICU and only family is allowed to visit, or if you want to get your partner on your insurance, or if you want to file taxes together, or adopt kids jointly, or…well, the list goes on. While monoamorous or monogamous people can simply follow the course laid out for them by society, polyamorous people are off-roading, and that can be really difficult for some people to come to terms with.

Polyamory sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it? Well, it can be, but there are a lot of reasons why it’s worth it, and they’re different for every polyamorous person. For me, it’s that every person is multifaceted, and being involved with two different people allows me to explore different parts of my identity. I share different interests, inside jokes, and types of intimacy with each of my partners, because they’re different people and my relationships with them are unique. I couldn’t ask either of them to try to meet all of my needs or appreciate every facet of my identity, but between the two of them, I am able to have all of my needs met. Likewise, if one of my partners wanted to date outside of our vee, I would totally understand that and support it - I don’t believe that I should be responsible for being anyone’s “everything”, either! I also believe that love isn’t a finite resource, and that it’s precious enough to be worth putting the extra work in when you love more than one person. I don’t love either of my partners less just because I love both of them; if anything, seeing the way they treat each other makes me love them both even more. Again, these are just my personal thoughts and experiences; every poly person and every relationship is different, so make sure that you’re taking the time to do your research and explore other thoughts, opinions, and experiences!

So, now that you’ve had a great big chunk of info-dumping about what polyamory is and how it works, here are some dos and some don’ts for writing polyamorous relationships:

Do continue your research into polyamory. There’s no one way to be poly, so you shouldn’t just take my word for these things. Learn about them from other people in the poly community. It never hurts to have more information, especially about how people would like to see themselves represented.

Do allow your polycules to grow organically. What I mean by this is that you don’t want to shove two people together just because your plot demands that it be so. Make sure that their relationship grows and changes and develops over the course of your story. If your character is already in a polycule at the beginning of the story, cool. If not, show me how they decide to pursue this lifestyle, and why, and what it takes for them to get there - and show me why the people they want to be with are worth it to them.

Do focus just as much on the individual relationships in a polycule as you focus on the polycule itself. If I’m reading your story, I should be able to figure out what each person sees in every person they’re involved with. I want to know that these relationships are organic, not manufactured for the sake of the plot.

Do make sure that your characters are communicating! Jealousy happens in poly relationships - it’s how you deal with it that matters. And I cannot stress enough how important consent is. I want to see your characters talking about and resolving the problems they face in their relationships, especially when those problems are balancing the needs of multiple partners.

Do allow characters to feel conflicted! Internalized monoamory and monogamy are real, and sometimes, it’s hard to figure out poly relationships because of them. Sometimes people think they’re poly and then they try it and realize it’s not for them, and that’s fine. Sometimes it stinks that you can’t find songs or quotes that don’t reference “the one” when your “one” is really two or three people. Sometimes, it’s just really difficult not to have a road map for how your relationship should go. It’s okay to show your characters struggling with these things!

Do include poly humor. We love poly puns. For example, someone might refer to themself as “polyunsaturated” if they’re poly but only in one relationship and looking for another, or “polysaturated” if they don’t have the time or energy for any more relationships. The kids of a poly marriage might be referred to as “polywogs”. Some people in poly marriages refer to their spouses as “spice”. It’s okay to be silly!

Do allow your characters to run into opposition from time to time. People are becoming more open about polyamory, but it’s definitely outside the mainstream, and it’s okay for your other characters to be confused or even hostile when it comes to poly relationships. It’s also okay if you have a character who isn’t completely open about it for that reason. There are genuinely people in the world who would rather think of someone as a cheater than think about them as being involved in two or more distinct relationships with the consent of their partners. It’s fine if your characters run into them, as long as you make that moment work for your story.

Don’t force your characters to choose. I’m so tired of “him or me” moments in stories. I just want to see a story where a character realizes how manipulative and unhealthy that attitude is, and calls that person out on it. And then leaves them, because no one should be with someone who would manipulate them into staying.

Don’t ignore the consequences of bad behavior. Again, I’m really tired of seeing unhealthy relationships. If someone lies or cheats or breaks the agreed-upon rules of their relationship(s), somebody ought to call them out on it and at least make them aware that it’s not okay to treat people that way.

Don’t assume that all poly people are sexual or hypersexual, or that all poly relationships are romantic. Lots of asexual and aromantic people are involved in poly relationships because it’s a great way for them to be with a partner and allow that partner’s sexual or romantic needs to be met by someone else. Some poly relationships involve no sex or no romance whatsoever. Every person’s needs, every relationship, every polycule is different, so figure out what works best for your characters.

Don’t forget that maintaining relationships takes time - and you need to account for that time. If your character has multiple partners, figure out how they’re juggling those relationships. Do they have a really organized calendar? Is there a set date night every week for each person they’re with, or is it more casual? Again, this depends on your characters, so don’t be afraid to explore! And don’t be afraid to show what happens if someone gets neglected, even if it’s an accident.

Don’t assume that every character in your story needs to know that your character(s) is/are poly. It’s totally okay if they’re not advertising their relationship on billboards, and it’s totally okay if they are. It depends on what works best for your characters and your story.

I’m really glad that you gave me the opportunity to talk about something so important to me, Nonny, and I hope this answered some of your questions and gave you an idea of where to start if you want to include polyamorous relationships in your stories. If you go off to do your research and you’re not sure about how to include something in your story, feel free to come on back and I’ll be happy to help you out. And remember - every person and every relationship is different, so take what works for you and leave the rest. Only you can figure out how to tell your story. Good luck!

-Kyo

#SOC Original #polyamory #polyamorous characters

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hawkland · 7 years

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On SVU, Barba and Stone

I do not buy the theory that Barba and Stone are going to “share ADA duties” after Stone enters the picture. I fully believe this is to set up Barba/Esparza exiting, at least as a series regular, after season 19.

These are my reasons why:

1. Budget. We already know SVU is playing it cheap on the budget front these past few seasons. I highly doubt they’d bring in another actor who can command leading actor salaries (like Winchester) just to “pop up” here and there when Esparza isn’t in an episode.

2. If it were just going to be a short character arc, or just an occasional recurring appearance for Stone, why make a big announcement so far in advance? They already said we won’t see Stone’s introduction until the second half of the season, so...why get the news out there so early? I really think it’s to start testing the waters, see if that can tempt some of the Chicago Justice/One Chicago fans to start watching SVU this season when they might not have already (I already know a couple fanwriters/CJ fans who are planning to do just that.)

They also wouldn’t be saying it as having him “joining the cast” if it were just a short character arc, or a few appearances. I don’t recall, for instance, them saying that about Andre Braugher when he made his appearances as Bayard Ellis.

3. It just makes sense for Barba’s character to move onward/upward at this point. I know realism isn’t a strong point with SVU, especially these days (hello, Lieutenant Benson, still out there in the field on every. single. case.) But let’s face it, he’s almost tied in length of stay with Casey Novak at this point, the longest running/appearing ADA on the show (at least consecutively). For a character we were told at one point had at least some political aspirations, for a character of his age who should be looking to move up toward EADA, if not DA election? It just makes sense. And honestly, if they eventually made him DA that could lead to whole new interesting plotlines. One of the best parts (IMHO) of L&O’s last seasons was seeing Jack McCoy transition from EADA to DA, and suddenly having Cutter pulling the same shit he used to do—and being on the other side of having to deal with it. Since Chernuchin is an old-hand at mothership L&O, I can see him wanting to do more with the DA’s office and the lawyers within it than we’ve seen for a long time on SVU. So having some movement/shuffling around could help justify a fresh focus there.

(And if this does lead to Barba moving on, I DO hope it’s not in a fall-from-grace way like what happened with Novak. And/or it could be related to the death threats getting worse, maybe something happens and he has to make a difficult choice to protect himself/those he loves?)

4. Likewise, it doesn’t make sense to have alternating SVU ADAs. When has that ever worked well for the show in the past? It was one of the worst aspects of seasons 10-13, the revolving show of ADAs because no one was really clicking with the show or the viewers. They may be playing wait-and-see by testing out Stone at the end of this season, before fully committing to anything beyond that. (Especially seeing how angry some of the Barba fans are already by even the smallest suggestion someone else is coming on board.)

5. Esparza could really just be looking to get back to theater work/other projects at this point. Would you blame him? For someone whose main work was highly acclaimed musical theater, with multiple Broadway credits, I have to think after this many years of TV work he’d be looking to get back to something different - and more challenging again. He wouldn’t be able to commit full time to a theater show while still doing SVU. I know the steady paycheck of a TV gig is a big draw for a lot of theater actors, but it is also limiting after a while. I’m speaking from conversations/friendships I’ve had with other theater actors on this subject (not any personal knowledge of RE), including one who had a similar-sized recurring role in a big genre show for a number of years.

(Also, news has just been out recently about a possible fourth season of Hannibal in the future, which let’s face it, is a bigger esteem gig than SVU.)

6. You will never convince me there wasn’t a LOT of deal making involved in Chicago Justice getting the ax, when it was doing more than respectably in the ratings. All the signs pointed to giving it a renewal, yet there was that long delay, also the delay in SVU’s announcement of renewal even when we knew that was coming. And then Chernichin comes to SVU while Eid gets shuffled over to PD; now CJ’s lead protagonist is coming along, too? Yeah, I think this has all been in the planning for a while.

7. SVU is not Criminal Intent. I know some people have been comparing the two, and how the detective teams alternated there after the first few seasons. But, from what I understand, that was a factor (at least in part?) of D’Onofrio complaining that he had TOO much screentime. That it was putting too much of a physical demand on him to be in virtually every scene of every episode, and thus they expanded the cast. CI was never a big office/ensemble show; the focus was always on a pair of detectives, and to a much lesser extent the ADA and the captain. So to compare that to the structure of the SVU team and how they are typically used in episodes? Doesn’t really make sense.

So...that is pretty much all my thoughts and reasonings at this point. Feel free to disagree, feel free to be pissed off, I could be totally 100% wrong. But this is how I’m calling it now. And as someone really ready for a change I’d be happy with these developments, but I know that’s not a popular opinion to have here on Tumblr right now in this fandom. So be it.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#svu #chicago justice #svu predictions #rafael barba #peter stone #svu thinky thoughts

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emotionallaborunion · 7 years

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Against "do you want fries with that?"

I don’t usually cross-post between my blog and Tumblr, nor do I usually try to give advice to younger people (unless they ask), but I do want to say this and I know a lot of people who follow me here are younger than I am. So, here’s the contents of a blog post.

Compiling what I wrote in an impromptu Twitter thread: I saw a tweet that said: "English major = 'Want fries with that?' 🍟. Pick something that will give you enough money to write what you want." (In the interest of discretion, I won't say who wrote this, but you can find out if you go to the thread.) This is bullshit. I have a computer science degree and thus all the money I want and no emotional energy left after work for writing. If I'd majored in English (like 13-year-old me wanted) I wouldn't have gone down the path of lots of money and spiritual/artistic vacuity. (Maybe more like 10-year-old me wanted; 13-year-old me wanted to be an editorial cartoonist and major in sociology or journalism in order to get there. 10-year-old me maybe had the best plan.) I was in debt -- student, medical, or both, at various times -- from September 1997 to January 2017. Now that I'm out of it, I can choose what to do next, so the point here isn't "cry for me". It is: Please do not pretend choosing an economically useful major while telling yourself you can do your important work "in your free time" (imagine all the finger air quotes there) doesn't have a serious, permanent cost. It does. You can never get back the time you spent doing stuff you don't care about for people who despise you. You need money to live, but time is the most precious resource you have because when you lose money, you can get it back; when you lose time, you can never get it back. Me, I didn't even choose computer science for the money (that came later). I thought, at the time, that I'd enjoy it more than I enjoyed writing or playing music. (I didn't enjoy playing music at all at the time, because I spent most of the first 16 years of my life playing classical music not because I wanted to, but because I had a parent who was foisting "what I didn't get to do when I was younger" onto me. I did get over that, but it took me about another 20 years. That's another story.) Anyway, once you get into industry, you realize the real day-to-day work isn't much fun, or that there are fun things about it but not the ones you anticipated, and a whole lot of soul-sucking baggage that's the price of both the fun and the money, but by then the money has you trapped. So if somebody had said all this to me when I was 18 (which they probably did, but I also had a parent yelling at me pretty loudly to be practical so I could support her when she got old (joke's on her, she's old now and I haven't spoken to her since 2014 and never will again)), it wouldn't have mattered -- I thought I was choosing the major that was what I wanted to do most, and I was pretty solidly on the side of telling my peers to do the same, and grieving with the ones who had parents who felt their tuition money was buying them permanent control over their children's lives. I would hate to see someone who doesn't even like computer science, though, choose it anyway because of shaming from people using the 🍟 emoji (and by the way, there is zero shame in working in food service -- someone has to cook for the people who get to spend their time writing), because of middle-class anxiety over the psychic cost of being one of the people their parents or grandparents stepped on to achieve middle-class status. It's one thing to choose it because it seems like the most fun thing at the time, another to hide your light under the barrel of "a stable job, a practical career." So if you're reading this and you're a teenager, choosing a major, or choosing whether to go to college at all, and you want to write or make art: write. Make your art. Put your first energies into those things, build whatever scaffolding you need to in order to keep your first energies there. (And if you change your mind later, that's cool too.) If you de-center those things in your life now, it will never get any easier to center them again. Do what it takes to survive, but never pretend that what fuels your fire is secondary and "real jobs" are primary; know it's the other way around. If you're 28 and in a "good" job and you want to write or make art but you're afraid of losing safety, know it'll never get any easier. So you might as well do it now. If you're 38 and you want to write or make art but you have 2 kids to support, I wish you the best. We -- as in, we adults who've had our dreams beaten out of us -- terrorize kids with a lot of fear-mongering about starving artists and starving musicians. The truth is that artists and musicians have always found ways to survive in a world hostile to art, so long as they're lucky enough to get taught that the shame of not being affluent must be avoided at all costs. (There are a few other kinds of luck that I'll talk about a little later.) Sometimes there's a very strong reason to pick the "I'll make a lot of money, then I'll do what I want" path: medical bills or responsibility for children or parents or both, while living in a society that is vicious towards young, old, sick, and disabled people. But ask yourself: If I'll be able to do The Thing later, when I have X amount of money, can I do it now without the money? And likewise: If I'm afraid to do The Thing now, will having X amount of money actually address the root cause of that fear? Because "I need to have X amount of savings before I do Y" tends to turn into "no, no, I was wrong, I need X*Z amount of savings first". The goalposts never stop moving. When you were 12, maybe you thought all you needed was rent money and enough food to eat. At 25, maybe that turns into a down payment on a house, and at 30, maybe a hot tub in the yard, a nice car, and a vacation home. Centering yourself on what really matters now builds a foundation on which it remains easier to not forget what mattered to you in the face of the distractions capitalism will try to sell you (especially when you spend all day in an office with people who also believe they can buy their way to personal fulfillment). Another thing to keep in mind: even if you are a person who can put in 8+ hours a day at a professional job, then leave and spend 6+ hours on your art (and not sleep much), you don't really know how much time you have before becoming too disabled to do both. Might be 60 years. Might be 1 year. All abled people are temporarily abled, and some of the most common disabilities and chronic illnesses take your excess energy first. Not to mention that chronic stress both from toxic jobs and double-timing tends to trigger any latent predispositions to those illnesses. Especially now, in 2017: there is only the present; stability in the future is a lie. Keep in mind reading all of this, I don't necessarily know the answer or the plan, not even for me and certainly not for you. I'm 36 and still in a job I'm ambivalent about on the best days, and I want to buy a house and adopt kids; renting a room doesn't afford much space for musical instruments or my sewing machine or more animals, much less kids. At this point, I don't have the conviction that the writing and art I want to make are worth delaying those plans for (the plans that more closely resemble the lives of my peers, my college friends and my office co-workers, and have their own appeal). A few months ago I was driving through Iowa and bought a new hardcover copy of Bruce Springsteen's autobiography on impulse. When I started reading it, I loved the writing but I had to set it aside because some uncomfortable feeling overwhelmed me, and a little later I realized it was envy: of people like him and his friends who got to spend their time, from early teens onwards, playing the kind of music they wanted to play. I was playing music when I was a teenager, too, but I hated it, and stopped as soon as I had the freedom to. It took me my entire adult life so far to want to do it again. My other musical hero, John Darnielle, worked day jobs for most of his career. Envy, as well, because I can't seem to find work that isn't primarily emotional labor (even when my business card says "engineer") and that doesn't leave me with much at the end of the day to put into art. So while part of me knows it's not too late, part of me is too busy grieving over all the time I lost to be able to make a new plan. If you're younger, and don't have as many sunk costs, maybe listen to whatever inside you makes you feel the most alive. And if you're older than me, do it too so I'll have more examples to look to. Another reason why the original advice is garbage: yes, Wallace Stevens was an insurance agent. But I suspect that if you look at the writers you like, you'll find more people who can write because they have a partner who financially supports them than you'll find full-time engineers or lawyers who are part-time writers. This is sort of a dirty little secret. The best thing you can do to be a successful artist is major in whatever you want, then marry rich. This doesn't mean you should marry for money. It does mean that "bust your ass doing 2-3 jobs if you want to earn the right to be an artist" is toxic victim-blaming capitalist pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps bullshit, because a lot of the artists you admire got there because someone else worked full-time to support them, not because they moonlighted. The good luck of being loved by someone with money should not be confused with hard work. Aside from economics, something I think stops a lot of younger people from following their vision is belief in scarcity: there are a lot of people who want to be musicians and writers, and many who are more talented than you, so why bother? Even if you make a living off it, you won't be famous. There are too many novels and no one will read yours; too many bands and no one will go to your shows. Sound familiar? It does for me. The more time passes, the more I think that's a seductive lie, too, not because you will get famous, but because that probably isn't what you want anyway. What you do want is time to spend doing the work that makes you feel whole. 'You hold onto Berryman’s line – “It is idle to reply to critics” – and understand that the actual work isn’t the thing you make, but the process that makes it, whose inherent value and dignity is well beyond any debate, because it is an expression of your self and therefore nobody can really judge it.' -- John Darnielle

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willowbilly · 7 years

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Title: Leave Me Alone, Let Me Be (Ch 11/?) Fandom: Daredevil (TV) Relationship: Frank Castle/Matt Murdock/Franklin “Foggy” Nelson/Karen Page Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Chapter Word Count: 4,118

I finally updated this thing after an approximate eternity and seeing as I’m inordinately proud of myself for doing so I decided to start posting chapters on Tumblr, so here ya go! The entirety of LMALMB (or as I like to call it, “The Fuck-Off Fic”) is now officially over 50k words of Matt’s poor but hopefully improving mental health and slow burn OT4 (avocadokastle? mattfoggykarenfrank? mattfoggykastle? kastledevil...fog?) rife with fluff and pining. There are a ton of additional tags on Ao3 which you might wanna check out just be safe, and warnings for this specific chapter includes themes and discussion of suicidal ideation, depression, grief/mourning, an implied minor dissociative episode of a non-PoV character, and very brief imagery of canonical past trauma. Chapter One can be found here!

The long-awaited Saturday rolls around.

Karen lets Frank sleep over again the night before so he doesn't have to hike there from his safe house, though he takes the couch this time and tosses and turns all damn night on the precariously narrow, saggy cushions. Ends up fleeing with the dawn to do his usual morning circuit of the streets, which takes a while, but still not long enough.

Nelson likewise shows up hours early, buzzing with anticipation which Frank sees spread to Karen as easily as if from one cell in an organism to another and which he's hard pressed not to succumb to himself. He unwisely drinks a couple beers to kill the feeling of queasy hope and holds tight to his misgivings instead, camped out in Matt's corner chair with his laptop as Karen and Nelson put on some smooth jazz and stumble through increasingly tense matches of chess as evening creeps over them. The whole day is spent wrapped up in stifling wait, a waiting bogged down with the same airless quiet of a funeral speech where you'd feel too guilty to dare risk a glance at your watch to check the time but too detached to invest yourself in actual mourning.

They all stand too quickly when the knock comes.

Nelson—Foggy, Frank's gotta get into the habit of first names with the guy now that he's not just “one of the lawyers” to him, shoots Frank a pointed glance the moment Karen opens her door and Red's on the other side, perking up all happy and victorious and see? because he thinks his old buddy is really there with them, present inside that thick, funny skull of his, standing there in his rumpled suit and his beat-up blind-person shades.

There's no way to tell him, with Red right there, what Frank knows, what he can feel way down thrumming underneath him like the vibrations from a mortar reaching up through the rubber of his boot soles; this is too soon to be anything other than a polite facade of progress, too soon to allow Red time to get his head in the game. Hell, besides being all for show, the very artificiality of this'll probably knock Red right off track before he even has the chance to start, start him faking again to ease their fears.

But it's not like Red really could've been allowed to come back to them completely in his own time, either.

Frank had thought, at first, that he'd be able to keep tabs on him while he's out, that maybe they could manage to keep in contact and help him out organically, without enforcing specific dates and times to meet like a trio of concerned parole officers with their charge, but there hasn't been hide nor hair of him on the streets since they'd dragged him off them to recover from the flu and Red hadn't tried to get in touch with either of the others before tonight, the agreed-upon date for when he absolutely had to, which, again, raises the thought that he's set out to do all of this for them rather than for himself.

And just the other day he was trying to convince them that Red was fine out in the snow, doing what he wants. Which... they can't make him not do what he wants, so he figures his point stands.

Frank can't tell if Karen and Foggy realize that they've picked the less bad option out of a pair of bad options, if they mistakenly think that that this situation already feels so stagnant because it's like a lull before enough energy builds up for them to really start to roll in the right direction, instead of what it really is: just stagnation, itself. If they can tell that they're still balancing on the peak of that hill, that they— that Red could still end up tumbling on backwards with the barest shift of the wind.

But none of them have a better solution. Frank very well isn't any sort of damn expert on this shit.

He thinks, looking at the way Karen cradles Red's elbow, leaning into him to nudge him towards Ne— Foggy, that even if they don't think it, they feel it; that basic flaw inherent to any way they approach this. The gravity tugging at their polite little balancing act. The two of them wouldn't be alive if they didn't have the right instincts to divine the sort of duplicity which so easily insinuates itself into your own mind, wrapping you up in comforting apathy, telling you not to worry, to let things go and leave them as they are.

Hell, if they were the kind to give in to that sort of thinking Red would be dead already.

So maybe they are on the right track. Frank's been wrong before, that's for damn sure. And doing nothing is the same as giving up. Quitting.

Like fucking hell.

“You all right, Frank?”

It's Red, modulating his monotone into something with just enough intonation to pass as life, his face appearing plastic as he raises his eyebrows, pulls the corner of his mouth up. A near-perfect impression of true expression trying its damnedest to avoid the uncanny valley and failing.

“Are you?” Frank asks, trying to deflect attention from what was probably a protracted period of worried glaring on his part.

Red shrugs, the half-smile stretching wider, but before he can visibly muster the energy to verbally respond he's saved, as he has been so many times before, by Foggy cutting in.

“Did they just passive aggressively express concern for each other?” he whisper-shouts to Karen, leaning over in front of Red and theatrically shielding the side of his lower face with his hand.

“Baby steps,” Karen replies, in the same fashion. “The purging of toxic masculinity... it's a process, you know?”

“So you mean at some point they'll graduate to just aggression, none of the passive?” Foggy jokes, voice rising. “Won't that be dangerous?”

Red slaps him lightly with the back of his hand, his smile momentarily solidifying into a glimmer of real emotion, soft and tired, but there... before fading again.

Frank feels his jaw clench, and looks away.

Karen must catch it because the hand not at Matt's elbow stretches out to alight on Frank's shoulder, bridging the gap and bringing their whole group into a sort of huddle, Foggy immediately leaning in with a grin and looping his arms around Frank and Matt's necks. Matt is back to focusing on Frank, the echo of bemusement pinching at his eyebrows; of course he'd heard his teeth grind. Probably wondering what the hell Frank's problem is.

Frank's wondering that, too.

“Sorry,” Red murmurs, apropos of nothing, and ducks away to drift towards the couch, Foggy's hand hanging outstretched in the air for a moment as though reaching after him, his smile flickering as his ever-present undercurrent of worry threatens to break through.

Karen shakes her head and smooths her hair and then her skirt, clearing her throat and pointing awkwardly towards the kitchen with a matched set of finger guns and a click of the tongue before subsequently following her own lead and going to retrieve the food.

Frank steers Foggy, still hanging around his neck, to the couch as well, nudges him down. Red stands for a bit longer, clearly torn between trying to liberate his armchair from Frank's laptop and letting it slide. He finally sits his indecisive ass down next to Foggy as Karen kicks the fridge shut and bustles over to set the veggie tray on the coffee table, pulling his legs in tight to give her more room.

“I thought... this'd be more casual?” Karen half-asks, gesturing to the tray of raw produce arrayed around a veritable pond of ranch dressing. They all take a moment to respectfully consider the vegetables and then as one just as respectfully dismiss them. The background jazz devolves into a soft, unbroken succession of crashing, the endless, silvery shivering of an interminably prolonged cymbals solo. Karen screws up her face, stares down at her wildly unpopular veggie tray, and with a chagrined grimace mutters to herself, “...Yeah. Not going so hot.”

“I bring down the mood,” Red offers, and he's so flat of affect that it's hard to tell whether he's aiming for levity or not.

“It's not like that's your fault,” Foggy says, and he is going for lighthearted but even Frank can tell that for once it's exactly the wrong thing to say. The words But it is my fault are practically buzzing in giant neon letters over Red's head in unsaid response.

“I, um. I also have some potato chips somewhere!” Karen rallies, wringing her hands, but she doesn't make any move to get them. Too nervous to leave, maybe. “Or we could make some actual food. Like, a meal? Dinner?”

“Those're good to have every now and then,” Foggy says, with a sidelong glance at Red which absolutely fails to even exist within the same dimensional realm as subtlety. So much for those cautious interrogation plans he and Karen had sketched out. “Meals. Made of food.”

Red doesn't react at all. Might not even be listening.

Frank starts jiggling on of his legs and resists the urge to start pacing. A meandering progression of cordial saxophone notes spills forth from the radio speakers, the cadence like that of an alternate, more flowing conversation, overheard.

“Frank and I made some grilled cheeses the other day, at my place,” Foggy says, forging desperately onward. “Added some sandwich meats and stuff. They turned out really great.”

“You mean a panini,” Red says. His voice is so soft, lips so still, that Frank almost misses it.

“Well, if you wanna be pedantic about it,” Foggy replies, brightening slightly at this sign of life and tipping over into Red so he can affectionately knock shoulders with him.

Red sways with the movement, letting Foggy draw him in but not expending any energy to either meet him halfway or to avoid him. “You add things to a grilled cheese, you have a grilled sandwich which happens to have cheese. A panini.”

“Yeah, you got me there, buddy,” Foggy says, dimming a few watts again as he concedes unnecessarily to Red's pointless insistence on semantics.

Red cocks his head, reading the room. Karen shifts, sidling closer to Frank's side until his restless leg rustles against her skirt and he stills; they both have their arms crossed. Foggy looks away, off into the dark expanse of the television screen. Red turns his head to the other side, birdlike. Reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose, lifting his glasses. Frank can just see that his eyes are shut beneath, his lashes fanned over shadows no less deep than when last he'd seen them.

“Sorry,” Red repeats, voice completely dull, now.

Karen and Foggy both hear it, share a glance. Frank huffs as he intercepts it, drops his eyes resentfully to the floor so Foggy can't hold his gaze the way he's trying to.

“I don't want you to be sorry,” says Karen, carefully.

Red suddenly slams his fist against the tabletop and she flinches hard, Foggy likewise startling away, pushed by reflex into Frank's side. No one moves for a moment as Red straightens, thoughtfully flexing his hand and cradling it in the other as though to keep himself from lashing out again, face expressionless.

“Do I get to be sorry for that?” he asks.

“If you're trying to prove a point you're going to have be clearer about it or actually break my table,” Karen snaps.

“I mean. Do I get to be sorry for things I do. For who I am. Am I even allowed to try and show remorse for who I am.”

“There's a difference between remorse and being a dick,” she says. “What is this even the fuck about?”

“Call it the quandary of living as a flawed being and being self-aware enough to regret it.”

Foggy laughs tiredly and falls forwards over his knees, rests his head in his hands.

“You... you don't have to be sorry for being you,” Karen insists.

“And if this is who I am?” Red says, waving towards the table as if it displays the sense memory of violence there for all to see.

“What you do isn't who you are,” Karen tries, flustered, now, the flush high on her cheeks and her body a tight line of tension along Frank's side.

The first side to lose their cool in a debate is always the losing one. Red, Frank's sure, knows this, and Red can't even muster up the wherewithal to give a shit, much less shout. One point to depression, it seems.

“If actions don't illustrate a person's character then what does?” Red says. States, rather. Detached and cerebral, like he's musing about human experience in a philosophy class and not winding them all into some nonsensical debate about whether or not he has their permission to be sorry for existing, and giving off not-so-slight hints which suggest he's toying with the idea of making them give their permission should he not already have it.

“That's— you know that's not what I meant,” Karen sputters.

Red shrugs, sags back into the couch, stretching out the long line of his throat as his face lifts up towards the ceiling, head lolling wearily on the backrest.

Frank hates the sight of his throat exposed like that, his body slack and slouching, open to any attack. Hates how it so effortlessly communicates how little Red even cares to protect himself in their presence, hates how his own mind leaps to razors rasping against jawlines, the edge of a blade sliding snug over the carotid artery, the taste of skin and the sound of breath hitching.

God. Not the time. Not the place. And for the foreseeable future, not the fucking person.

He presses into Karen's slight frame, her comforting solidity driving out the inarticulate wants ghosting through his head. She grabs his wrist in a snake-strike fumble, gripping fit to bruise, and it's only then that he realizes that he's clenching his fists hard enough to dig his nails into his own flesh and consciously relaxes them.

Foggy sighs, goes to lay back the same as Red. Inches nearer again, the couch cushions bowing under their weight and pressing them closer. Red doesn't pull away when Foggy places his head on Red's shoulder, nor when Foggy laces their fingers together.

After a moment Red's fingers twitch, and curl around Foggy's in turn.

“She means you don't have to be ashamed for taking up space,” Foggy whispers into Red's chest.

Red's Adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly, but otherwise his demeanor stays as vacant as ever. “But I do, though. I don't know how not to.”

“Then if... that's a part of you, then that's okay. It doesn't make it right, or... or okay for you. But I mean. I don't think that about you. I'm always happy you're here. Even when I'm mad, or you make me sad, I... I wouldn't be able to face the world knowing there was a Matt-shaped space out there that was... that was emptied out. You got that?”

“No,” Red lies, his brow pinching and hand twitching around Foggy's as he does so. “Quite frankly, I'm not even sure what we're talking about.”

Foggy watches their hands for a long moment, the very picture of downcast mercy. “Yeah,” he eventually agrees. Just to let Red off the hook. “Nothing really makes sense, here.”

“That doesn't make talking any less important,” Karen says, the firmness back in her voice. “Whatever you have to say. Even if it doesn't make sense, I think it's better that you do say it. You're valid as you are.”

“Valid, huh?” Red says, actually smiling faintly.

“Valid,” Karen emphasizes.

“A nice sentiment. Kinda cliché, though, isn't it?”

Foggy jostles their joined hands in exasperation, says, “Man, lay off, we are trying our best here and past school and job awareness sensitivity campaigns are all we have to rely on.”

“Your sentiments are valid,” Red intones solemnly.

Foggy bumps him in retribution.

Red zeroes in on Frank when he makes the mistake of breathing out a chuckle, his head rolling towards him.

“You've been quiet, Frank,” he observes.

This is probably the moment when Frank should say something passive, pleasant. Something to keep the mood from souring again, what with this sudden, mysterious flip towards deescelation. So, quite to his own bemusement, that’s what he does.

“I'm just soakin' in you bein' around. Puzzlin' it out. S'nice.”

“Nice?” Red echoes.

“Yeah, Red,” Frank says, falling back on a more combative tone, gruffly and aggressively teasing, to try and distance himself from his own admission. “What, that so hard to believe? That I can just feel like seein' you's nice?”

“Yeah, actually,” Red says, and Frank has to be careful not to grind his teeth again. “It's not... I know you're not lying. But.”

Therein lies the fucking crux of the matter. The mindset which keeps popping up again and again, the weight at Red's ankle, dragging him under. That silent But I can't bring myself believe you.

Thus the outburst, the second-guessing and the testing.

He's waiting, resigned, for them to take it all back. Their promise of support, their understanding, their... their love. Waiting for his dread to be vindicated, for when he can finally give up without letting any of them down because they will have become tired of him, of dealing with him, they will have moved on and freed him from laboring under the restrictive yoke of their concern, their care. And in the meantime, while he's trying and failing to convince himself that they mean what they say when they comfort and encourage him, he's pushing their boundaries, dropping hints, seeing if he can bring about the inevitable after all, prove to himself that he's not paranoid for doubting.

It reminds Frank of the utter disbelief he'd felt at the sight of his family's blood on the grass, technicolor-bright red on green, the ravaged brain matter blown out of his daughter's skull, clumping gory and wet in the silky sweep of her long brown hair, the barrettes at her temples still clipped neatly in place. After he'd woken up he'd cherished an infinitesimal trace of that disbelief in the core of his furious heart, feeling it prick at him every time he was alone and things were still and quiet. How it'd sharpened into a needlepoint pain whenever Karen talked with him, this queasy, undead yearning. He'd just wanted that voice, that nagging what-if to be proven right, because the reality was wrong, somehow, the alignment of the world inexplicably, ephemerally crooked.

But both of these stubborn, siren-call whispers, his grief-stricken nostalgia, Red's relentless self-defeatism, are the lies which their minds dress up as truths. Wolves decked out as sheep.

There's no way he knows of killing such suspicions. His still crop up sometimes like wistful specters in his dreams, and Red's, now... Red's aren't... his're something like a fucking personality trait of his. Built-in. These aren't questions which can be so easily carved out of a man like so many malignant tumors.

And of any of them, it shouldn't be Frank who realizes this shit about Red first. He is not equipped. It really shouldn't be him.

Fuck, nothing should ever be up to him.

“You'll get there,” Frank says, lies, like an idiot, spouting a sweet 'n soft kinda falsehood right after Red's reminded him he can tell whether it's the truth or not. But Red's the epitome of falsehood in and of himself, a walking oxymoron. A diviner of truth, a righteous, honest man who can't help but act out false prophecies, compelled over and over again to strive for the worst, in himself and in others, to hold the greatest faith in unfounded skepticism.

Red's face crumples, betrayed, but just as he makes to draw into himself Karen shoves Frank over to make room for herself on the couch. “Scooch over,” she demands, and there's a sort of chain reaction of rearrangement, Frank standing and reseating himself as Foggy shimmies over, pushing Red tightly into the armrest and releasing an oomph as Karen throws herself back into the cushions, her remarkably hard, angular hipbone shoved sharply into Frank's, crowding him bodily up against Foggy in turn. It’s a very snug fit.

“This couch is not nearly roomy enough for this,” Foggy complains, slightly short of breath.

“I could go,” Red suggests diffidently.

“Never,” Foggy declares, momentarily releasing Red's hand so as to hook their arms together and then grab his hand even more firmly with an emphatic little shake. “We are chilling.”

“Forever?” Red asks.

“Well. Until we wanna order something and have to get up,” Karen says. “That sounds okay with everyone, right? Matt?”

Red clenches his free hand against his knee, a flex of bruised knuckles, then lets go, curls his arm in to rest over his stomach with a soft, emotionless sigh, sinking deeper into the couch as the air leaves him. “Yeah, all right,” he says.

His breathing is very slow and shallow, but as all four of them sit there they begin to breathe in sync, Foggy stroking his thumb over Red's fingers in time to the deep rise and fall rhythm, their chests expanding on inhale, pushing arms and ribcages into each other like their bodies are trying to meld together, and then contracting on exhale, relaxing a little more and falling a little closer each time, an endless, oceanic pulse of connection flowing through them as artfully wandering piano notes drift soothingly around the living room, accompanied by a low, smoky female voice crooning some painfully apt, poetic pap about love.

“I don't want to fuck this up,” Matt says, flat on his back on the cool cement so as not to disturb the warm, purring weight of Nina, dozing on his chest in a regal little bundle, facing him with her paws tucked neatly beneath her. “But I think I already have. Or I will.” He'd fucking— he'd hit a table. To see how they'd react, if that was all it'd take. He hadn't been able to f— it was like he'd been on autopilot, as if he couldn't fucking feel anything, and so it'd seemed reasonable. To just be an asshole, to act like he hadn't given his word to try not to just say fuck everything. He'd fucking ruined it.

His breath hitches and he reins it in harshly, falls back into a meditative breathing technique to keep from scaring the as-yet unperturbed cat with his hysteria. The fur behind her ears is so fine that it catches on his callouses as he skims over her shape, mapping her out, and he cups a hand gently over the steep, delicate curve of her spine, resisting the urge to crush her to his chest to gentle the terrible tenderness slavering in him like a starving thing. The patch of skin Foggy's thumb had rubbed over still tingles.

Nina is, again, a welcome anchor, soft and heavy and undemanding enough to hold him in the present. Tangible, alive. The same way the other three felt to him, when they were squeezed together on Karen's uncomfortable couch, listening to jazz, ignoring the sour pall he'd brought down over everybody from the moment he stepped foot in her apartment.

For a while, there, he'd fooled himself into thinking that everything was okay.

They can't have forgiven him so easily. It wouldn't be right for them to let this slide.

“How'll you know if you've fucked it up?” Melvin asks, from all the way on the other end of the workshop. He's leaning against his workbench and courteously not looking in Matt's direction, careful not to accidentally catch a glimpse of his face.

“I—” Matt starts, and then he stops himself, trying to force his hyperbolic thoughts back in order as he had his breath. Tries to assess things objectively.

What would be the absolute sign of failure? Concrete, clear-cut. Independent of his own atrocious judgment.

“They'll tell me.”

“So if they tell you, then you'll know,” Melvin concludes. “But they haven't yet, so you're fine.”

Matt lets loose an ugly laugh, again stifling himself for Nina's sake as her tail begins to flick in reproach. Even if he manages to keep from purposely sabotaging things it'll still just turn out to be a matter of time, then. A waiting game.

He sucks at those.

#daredevil #fanfic #daredevil fanfic #dd ot4 #avocadokastle #bc screw it i like that one best #my fic

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