things that the curse of strahd party i’m dm’ing has done, in no particular order:
asked for advantage for a charisma check on the town guard, due to eating a banana seductively
told an undead kid that he should go live at the bottom of a lake (and got offended when he wasn’t thrilled about the idea)
tried to non-lethally attack somebody with the sharp end of an axe
picked up an entire holy pond and walked away with it
realized that the locals would probably notice the holy pond was gone, panicked, and tried to fix the situation like a frantic teenager refilling empty vodka bottles with water
poisoned an entire town by mistake
tried to explain polyamory to the paladin, with mixed results
decided their party name is “the homewreckers,” as it’s fitting in every single sense of the word
rolled a 23 performance check to make out with strahd, and then immediately hauled ass halfway across the valley to avoid the consequences
lost an argument with an elevator
cut off a hag’s head to keep as a trophy and have been carrying it in the paladin’s backpack for three days now (and counting)
overturned a dragon skull and carried the thing like a canoe across the background of a battlefield, scooby-doo style
pissed on a bush to get out of a conversation with a dude they don’t like
after nearly an entire campaign of threatening to do it, somebody finally snapped and carried the roguelock like a sack of potatoes through a dungeon
yassified a scarecrow
in short, dungeons and dragons is the perfect game, and i’m not accepting criticism at this time.
DM: There is another man
Blesséd, our sorcerer: Alive? Dead? Zombie?
Beatrix, our artificer: Gay.
Noe and Tinder being comfy goofballs on their vacation trip.
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A special dnd achievement is when you and another player are speaking in improvised code so well that even the DM is completely lost
One of my players plays a dragon born based off a certain type of lizard and apparently that species has particularly acidic pee because they just asked me if they could piss on opponents as a turn of attack. Imagine you’re fighting a guy and he just whips his dick out and pees on you and it fucking BURNS like hellfire. What the fuck kind of hellscape am I on where I’m asked by my player if they can do something like that.
Anyway, so naturally I said yes, we’ve assigned it two rolls, one d8 to see how good his piss aim is and one d8 for acid damage.
DM: you notice there are some cracks in the floor
Bard: I pull out my Horn of Blasting and knock out the floor
DM: ok session's over because sir speedrun here noclipped through to the hidden portal and skipped TWO MODULES and i need to prepare