thinking about how jihoon was around my age when he debuted 🧍🧍 literally wtf bc like imagine being so successful at such a young age

also looking at videos of their debut era is crazy because jihoon looks so young and i'm like there aint no way we're both 18

and the fact that he looks even younger in songs past their debut era (i'm thinking specifically of oh my rn) but literally WTF i dont even look old and still im in shock

#8 #15 // k. bakugou

*:･ﾟ✧ request  *:･ﾟ✧

@kurzyackermanstuff CONGRATSSSS ON 1KKKKK MAY I REQUEST A NUMBER 8 and 15 WITH OUR BLASTYYYYY where y/n chan is sassyyy aaaffffsfffsf LOVE UUUUU MOM COBGRATSSSS 💖💖💖💖💖💖

a/n: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ASKED AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE!! Also this one is based off a conversation I’ve heard before between my brother and his girlfriend 💕✨

*:･ﾟ✧ pairing *:･ﾟ✧

Katsuki Bakugou  x reader

*:･ﾟ✧ prompt  *:･ﾟ✧

#8 → “Sarcasm is not helpful” “Really? I had no idea?”

# 15 → “I’m not sure if should be scared or turned on.”

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

Your day had been going great until you got back to your dorm and and had half asleep trudged into the girls bathroom after your extra practice to shower. At first, you hadn’t noticed it as you got out of your gross uniform and turned on the shower. But the second you reached for your shampoo bottle that its resting on, you see the giant thing and its eight hairy legs and nope. Throwing the bottle onto the floor in shock, the scream that leaves your mouth is that of horror movies. The sound  immediately drawing a pounding knock on the door from the person who you had been training with. 

“Did you just fucking die?” Your boyfriends words are slightly muffled through the door, but you can hear the worry in them. 

“Katsuki. Get. Your. Ass. In. HERE!” You yell, pushing yourself up against the wall and away from the huge spider now blocking your doorway. You were the only girl in here, so you knew it was safe, and with no hesitationm, Bakugou steps into the bathroom. Immediately blushing and slapping his hands over his eyes the second he saw you. 

“What the fuck y/n!”

“Shut up and come and kill the fucking thing!” You snap, poinying to the spider who is staring at you with actual malice. It’;s going to kill you, you just know it. Your words get your boyfriends attention who like the smarty pants he is tosses you the pink towel resting safely out of the danger zone on the sink. You catch it and wrap it around yourself before looking at your boyfriend who just watches the spider for a minute. 

“This is what you screamed for?” Katsuki looks astounded as his eyes shift between you and the spider. “I thought you had fucking died y/n!”

“I’m in a damn bathroom Katsuki! How on earth am i going to die? I ain’t going out by drowning in a damned toilet. This thing on the other hand will actually kill me if you don’t kill it first!” 

“What the crap ever. Just- stay out of the way.” He groans, giving in because he knows that spiders are actually one of your biggest fears. 

“No, I’m just going to walk right towards it.” You sass, and your boyfriend looks at you with a blank face, so done with your shit. 

“Sarcasm is not helpful,”

“Really? I had no idea?” But you shut up quickly after that, watching as he grabs one of your slippers and holds it above his head, ready to take the little satanic spawn out. But you quickly squeal and he immediately stops. 

“Don’t use my shoe you idiot! I don’t want the devils juice on my shoe!”

“Then what the fuck else am I meant to use Y/n?”

“Just blow the damned thing up?” You’re almost in hysterics now, obviously, or else you never would have recommended it. And for a haunting moment, Katsuki totally contemplates it. 

As if it could actually sense that moment of weakness, the massive spider makes a wild dash towards you and you let out another scream. An arm wraps around you, picking you up and pulling you out of its way and then theres a a loud thunk as your face meets the black shirt of Katsuki’s chest. With weary eyes, you turn around and look back to where you had been standing, and there was a now smooshed spider, underneath… your abandoned shampoo bottle. Had he thrown it? 

“There now the damn thing is dead, you can shower in peace.” You look up at katsuki with furrowed brows, and as soon as he see’s you, his smirk drops.

“What?”

“Did you just throw that at it?”

“Yeah…” He draws out, confused as to where you’re going with this. He threw that with perfect aim, and had to have calculated the force that he would have to use in order to kill the spider, but not break the bottle. And he had done it in an instant, whilst picking you up and moving your useless body out of the way. You blink up at him and like many times in your relationship, your stunned at just how awesome you boyfriend really is. 

“Honestly, I’m not sure if should be scared or turned on.” You say airily, a smile slowly tugging to life on your lips as he grows more and more confused. 

“You’re so fucking weird.” Katsuki mutters before placing a quick kiss on your forehead and letting you go.

“I love you!” You yell as he pushes out the door. He doesn’t respond verbally, but instead waves his hand over his shoulder as the door swings shut behind him. The second he’s outside, you make out the voices of Kirishima and Kaminari as they mess with him. 

“Dude what the fuck?”

“Did you just come out of the girls bathrooms? I’m seeing things right?” You hear the familiar popping noises of his quirk followed by scared laughter and pounding feet as they undoubtedly run from your boyfriend. He’s pretty cool. 

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

*:･ﾟ✧ links *:･ﾟ✧

1k celebration event post

celebration prompt list

celebration tag

1k masterlist

The Firsts

Summary: No one ever told him that living was going to be so difficult. That there would emotions get couldn’t label and distinguish. He’s just a young boy trying to navigate through life and its unexpected ups and downs.

Genre: Humor, Fluff, smut(?)

Pairings: Oc x Felix, Oc x Changbin, Changbin x Oc x Felix

Warnings: poly relationship, angst in some part, excessive fighting about the MCU.

Parts: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17

A/N: This story has a theme of Firsts. First love, first kiss and many other firsts. Each part can be read on their own and are meant to stand as oneshots. It’s basically a collection of oneshots (little snapshots into my Oc’s life. 😁)

“Thor.”

“Loki.”

“Thor!”

“Loki!”

“Neither!” Seungmin and Minho stopped dead in their tracks as they stared at Aiden with narrowed eyes. He hadn’t really wanted to get in between their little quarrel over which brother was hotter, Thor or Loki, but it had been going on for the past four hours and Aiden was actually tired of it.

“Excuse you?” Minho asked with a raised brow. “Have you even watched Thor?” He asked. 

“No.”

“Do you even Marvel?” Seungmin asked and Aiden shook his head. “Then you can’t contribute to this conversation!!!” He exclaimed, cheeks puffing out in frustration. 

“Oh, well excuse me!” Aiden held up his hands in defense and slipped between the two, walking ahead of them. There was silence for a brief moment before the two boys were back at their argument, trailing behind Aiden as they made their way up the long driveway.  Bang Chan was a friend of Changbin’s and extremely popular, or so Aiden had heard. His family was originally from Australia, but they moved when his father got a chance to expand their business in the Korean market - he was known as a self-made millionaire which of course made Chan a hit with all the people that wanted his family’s money. 

He was a sweet guy, if not a bit reserved and wary of people. But he has hit it off with Changbin one day during chemistry and the rest was history - though it had only been a couple of months. Chan has offered to host study sessions at his place and who were they to refuse such a generous offer? Their first visit, Aiden had expected to see a mansion but was greeted with a modest house. Decent size and you could tell that the place was pricey, but it didn’t scream wealth which had surprised Aiden but at the same time was a blessing. It put Chan in a different light for him - though rich, he was still a normal person and his family tried to live modestly.  True role model. 

Knocking on the door, it was opened in less than a minute to a bright-eyed and smiling Chan. “Hey guys.”

“He-“

“Channie hyung! Thor or Loki?” Minho asked as he pushed Aiden lightly, the male stumbling to the house.

“Whoa.” Chan wrapped his arms around Aiden quickly to catch him before he went tumbling down, eyes looking back at the other two. “Loki.” He said. 

“Ha! See, I told you!” Seungmin cheered happily, Minho simply rolling his eyes and scoffing. 

“Uncultured swine.” He snorted and made his way into the house - as if he owned the place - with a shake of the head. “Thor is the better of the two brothers and you can’t change my mind.” He huffed. 

“How can you say that when Loki is literally the best at everything?” Seungmin questioned as he followed quickly behind Minho, their voices fading as they disappeared around the left corner and into the study. 

“Uh...” Chan stared at Aiden in confusion as he stood upright and brushed himself off. 

“They’ve been going at it since the 5th period.” Aiden told him, flashing him a smile. “They won’t shut up and told me I couldn’t contribute to the conversation because I haven’t seen Thor.”

“You haven’t seen Thor?” Chan asked, his eyes wide, trailing after Aiden as he walked in.  Closing the door, Chan followed up his previous question with another. “Have you watched any of the Marvel movies?”

Aiden was silent for a moment, staring at Chan as he debated if he should answer truthfully or not. He could probably lie and get away with it, for now. But if the talk of Marvel movies and Thor continued, his lie would be seen so quickly. It was probably just best to say the through, despite how embarrassing it really was. “No, I haven’t.

He winced at the gasp Chan gave, loud and overdramatic and he knew he had made a grave mistake with this answer. “Oh my god!” Chan turned quickly, feet shuffling as he made his way into the den. “Aiden hasn’t seen any of the Marvel movies!” Chan’s voice was nearly drowned out by the loud gasps that fell from the other’s lips, complaints filling the air to the point Aiden wanted to just leave and pretend this didn’t happen. But he knew if he did run away, he really wouldn’t live this down. 

Reluctantly, he moved into the study and stared at his ‘friends’ as they all sat around a decent-sized coffee table - books and papers laid out for their intense study session that has yet to start. 

“I can’t believe you!” Seungmin scolded with a shake of his head. 

“How have you lived this long and not watched a Marvel film?” Woojin, Chan’s friend, asked concerned. 

“We bonded over Spider-Man dude. Spider-Man! I thought I knew you.” Changbin tsked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“First of all, we were eight!” Aiden huffed and glared at Changbin, arms crossing in a mimic of the other’s posture. “Second of all, I’ve just been busy.”

“No one is too busy to watch a Marvel Movie. There is literally an entire cinematic universe.” Minho scoffed, disgusted by this horrid betrayal of his friend. 

“I have things to do!”

“Like what? Whine about how much you want to fuck Felix?” The words were said so nonchalantly that Aiden had to wonder if Changbin’s brain had been working when he so easily spilled his greatest secret. “I mean-“

“Whoa! Where did that come from?” Chan asked with wide eyes, head whipping back and forth between Felix, Changbin, and Aiden. 

“I don’t know. Changbin be out here making up stories so he can be so melodramatic.” Aiden hissed, eyes narrowed at the male and he could see Changbin shrinking in on himself, trying to apologize with his eyes. Aiden would only consider the apology if he could get out of this situation without anyone actually thinking he wanted to screw around with Felix. 

“I don’t date anyone who hasn’t seen at least Iron Man.” Felix said, a smirk playing on his lips as he joked. 

“Well damn, looks like you struck out buddy.” Chan laughed and clapped a hand over Aiden’s shoulder. “Aiden hasn’t seen a single Marvel movie.”

“Wow, you truly do love under a rock, don’t you?” Minho asked in awe. 

“Listen, Linda, can we dropped this stupid subject and actually study?” Aiden whined. 

“Marvel isn’t stupid. Marvel is life!” Seungmin protested and Aiden could only roll his eyes as he took his seat next to Changbin. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“At this moment in time, I don’t care.” Aiden stuck out his tongue at Seungmin, snickering with the other pouted. 

“Alright children, let's get down to business.” Woojin spoke, arms extending across the table to signify the end of this discussion. 

“Fine. But this isn’t over. Thor is superior and you all will see this, I swear to you.” Minho huffed as he flipped open his book to start working.  Felix was glad the topic had been dropped and everyone settled into a comfortable silence. It gave him time to think about things that had been said - words so haphazardly thrown about with no regard to the people involved. And what was Felix supposed to say? ‘Right on, let's find a bed and get down to business?’

How was someone supposed to act to such a crude confession as that? He wasn’t appalled by it - he knew that much - but it also wasn’t a favorable confession considering it came from Changbin. But Aiden did deny it, claimed it was made up but it was too specific to be a lie.  Changbin wasn’t that good at making up stories; his C+ literature project proved that much. So he laughed it off, continuing the joke of blasphemy about Aiden never seeing a Marvel movie. But he was aware now, so extremely aware. Every few seconds Aiden would lift his eyes to sneak a glance at him, Felix catching the movement out of his peripheral. 

He was a peculiar person, Aiden. The times that they had interacted alone, he seemed so shy and uncertain. Yet when with Changbin, his personality was alimony bigger than life and on countless times pulled laughter from him over something idiotic he had said or done. There was something about him that interested Felix in some way, but was it in the way that Aiden wanted? To suddenly have feelings forced upon you was inducing anxiety-inducing and suddenly he was feeling and questioning things he had never questioned before. 

‘Would it be worth it? Was he worth Aiden’s time? Would it work out? Did he even have feelings for Aiden in return?’ 

None of those questions were getting answered and they were burning the back of his mind, demanding some closure. The offer slipped out before he could even stop himself, lingering heavily in the quiet room. “You could always come over to my place and we could watch the movies.”

Aiden’s head lifted and their eyes locked. Everyone in the room stilled and Felix could swear they were all holding their breaths, waiting to see how this would play out. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t in the same position. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I own all the movies, including Infinity War. We could have a movie marathon this weekend.” It was an innocent offer and yet Felix felt so guilty because there was so much meaning behind it, to him. A spur of the moment thing that would satisfy his need for answers. He just hoped he didn’t up hurting Aiden in the process. 

“Okay, sounds like a plan!” 

Well, that was easier than he thought. 

“Ooooh, sounds like a date~.” Minho teased, a smirk plastered on his face. “Felix and Aiden sitting in a tree -“ 

“F - U - C - K - I - N - G.” Seungmin continued, a matching smirk etched across his features as well. 

“I hate you both so much.” Aiden grumbled, the two boys giggling in happiness at Aiden’s discomfort. 

“It’s not a date.” Felix said quickly as he looked around the table. He wasn’t oblivious to the way Aiden’s face fell at his words and he quickly tried to back peddle his statement. “I mean-“

“Poor Aiden. Forever the unconfirmed gay virgin.” Changbin teased, laughing as he was punched in the arm. “Someday you’ll get some action.”

“I truly hate all of you.”

Ever considered Charles and Trans Arthur 👀

I HAVE NOW, FELLER

mAn oh man.... this could slot into the 90s au but.... I like it as its own like, present-day au...

let's make Charles... a masters student or like ... he's OH he's going to law school and idk they have meet-cute at uuuh idk the hardware store

yeah the hardware store, Charles's toilet is leaking and he doesn't have the money for a plumber so he Googles some shit and goes to Home Depot to pick up a tool and picks up a tool is looking all cute and confused like "....crescent wrench?" and the Really Cute Guy He Totally Didn't Check Out is like "PFFFT" and helps him find the tool and they get to talking and the Handsome Buff Dude Who Is Totally Charles's Type (Charles is Tilly's like, GBF, and she's heard him complain AT LENGTH about twinks, "they're great, they're fine, I just want someone I don't have to worry about snapping in half, you know?)

and they get to talking and Arthur gives Charles his card like, "I'll give you a discount for being letting me mansplain plumbing to u ;)" and Charles wasn't gonna hire someone bUT HE IS NOW

so that's how they start dating and it's super cute (Arthur fixed his toilet for free and also installed new kitchen cabinets and made it so Charles's car doesn't make that weird chunka-chunka-chunka noise when he goes over 40)

AND THEN (and here's where it gets interesting) they're finally, FINALLY getting serious, s e x u a l l y, they're making out on Charles's shitty old Ikea couch while some movie ("You've never seen 21 Jump Street?? Jesus Charles, you uncultured swine... Channing Tatum is like, Major Goals") plays in the background and it's getting heavy...

they're making out and grinding and it's so good and Arthur is totally feeling him up thru his pants and Charles goes to do the same and Arthur is like

"wait you should probably know I'm uh trans."

And he totally expects it to kill the mood and for them to have to have A Conversation but Charles is dumb horny and like, he really likes, maybe loves Arthur, so it shouldn't matter, right, and he's so fucking hard so he just says like

"you can still suck dick though right???"

and yeah he can

and I bet it's some of the best head Charles has ever gotten in his life cuz Arthur is a champion... Charles is used to holding back and being gentle cuz he's got kind of a Huge Dick, but when Arthur goes down on him, he starts like, encouraging Charles to move and thrust and hold his head and fuck his face n make him gag...

n it's the best nut of Charles's life and he's pretty sure he's gonna marry this guy

it's not until like, the morning after where he realizes like "oh maybe that was.... not the best response...." and he texts Arthur this like, really long heartfelt apology like "I'm sorry if my response came across as callous or unconcerned, I really like you and want to be respectful to you and your identity, thank you for trusting me with this, I want to continue a relationship with you and I'm sorry my response wasn't appropriate"

and he waits and waits and waits all day for a reply and he's sure that Arthur is never gonna speak to him again, he screwed up royally, he thinks he might really love this guy and he scared him away...

and at like 11pm hes trying to study and not think about Arthur and he FINALLY gets a text and it's like "lol cool babe, dinner 2moro?"

and they end up talking about it and Arthur is like "it was kind of nice to have it not be a big deal or a boner killer" and they talk a little bit abt it and have a Nice Night...

and Charles is like, kinda nervous - he's been gay since he was 15, he has experience with exactly one (1) type of genitalia and he doesn't wanna screw anything up or make Arthur uncomfortable in any way...

so for a couple weeks they do mostly like, over-the-pants stuff, like they're teenagers and it's kind of exciting, dryhumping and making out... but Charles doesn't want to make Arthur think he's Afraid so he vows that he's gonna Give His Boyfriend Some Head

so I think probably they're just hanging out; Arthur's watching football while Charles works on some paper, they order a pizza and drink a couple beers and then they're making out and Charles is deliberate in the way he pushes his hand under Arthur's waistband, looking at him to make sure it's ok and he'll yeah, it's ok

and I'm uh gonna go off abt sex now and I don't want to cause anyone Dysphoria feels, so I'm gonna be talking about uh Arthur having uh, genitals that are typical ascribed to female people.... idk I'm talking T-dick, bro... so if ur ok with that great

so yeah, they do it right there in Charles's living room... With just the glow of the tv backlight Charles as he gets on his knees, with Arthur still sitting on that ratty couch...

and he yanks down Arthur's sweats and his cute red bandana-print briefs that remind Charles of a cowboy n Arthur is really hairy, minimal manscaping but his dick is there n he's like... juicy wet.... Charles maybe didn't realize how fuckin wet he'd get...

and it's like, Arthur's never been with someone who didn't know how to go down on him - he dated a couple straight dudes when he was young, spent some time as a lesbian (having a rough on-again-off-again thing with Eliza), was even engaged to a queer woman (Mary, who broke it off because she "couldn't stand the thought of not being able to give her dad a grandchild" like transphobia.....) - so he's never really had someone who... isn't experienced with his junk arrangement

so he's laughing and blushing as Charles goes down on him, because it's cute and Charles is trying so hard and he's doing a good job, even if he moves his head too much and needs to use more tongue, and Charles's hair is so soft under his fingers and they're both groaning and making these happy little noises as Charles sucks him.... and it's just pure and wholesome and euphoric and they're both flushed and hot and sweaty and turned on when Charles pushes two big, thick fingers up inside him....

god and Arthur is loud, groaning deep as he cums with Charles's mouth on him and his fingers inside him and Charles can feel it and he's been jerking himself off and the feel of it makes him cum too.... cuz Charles is GAY and getting off his man is SEXY AS HELL

and oh man, when Arthur mentions offhandedly about strap on and Charles realizes he gets to pick the dick he's gonna ride hes sO FUCKIN EXCITED and Arthur just laughs...

wholesome....

thank you, mister, for this truly good food...... problems forgotten.....

I’m the anon whose setting the bomb off by asking why season six won’t happen

TL;DR- bc Teen Titans (2003) ended! It wasn’t canceled! It was brought to a conclusion, that fans weren’t super happy with obviously, but it was an ending nonetheless.

I’d really like to encourage everyone in the fandom to read the interviews gathered by TitansTower (2nd half of the page) during the time TT03 actually aired. David Slack, Glen Murakami, & the crew have said over and over again, the original order for the series was for 4 seasons. WB hadn’t expected the popularity of the show to last past that, but it exceeded expectations and by the time season 4 was wrapping up development, they were asked to pen a movie and move forward with development for s5.

They had LOTS of ideas for season 5 too! More side characters they wanted to explore! More depth to get into the Brotherhood’s plot! But unfortunately, when they pitched the idea of a Longer season/more episodes, they were asked to keep it at 13 eps, the usual order. There were Talks about a possible 6th season & the crew started prepping for it and pitching it because, hey! they were passionate abt the show they were working on too! But WB ultimately decided to move onto other projects and guess what? So did the crew! Because that’s just what happens! Things end and you have to accept it and move on. Huh it’s almost like Things Chan-

(The rest under the cut here, is very much getting more into a Rant that veers way off topic (the Bomb is above mostly, the shrapnel is below lmao) & it hasn’t been proofread for errors bc I am, as the kids say, Big Mad. so Beware. You’ve been Warned) (also tagged: long post, in case the cut doesnt work for whatever reason, sorry mobile users RIP)

[[MORE]]

Even IF, for whatever reason, against all logic & reasoning they decided to Greenlight a sixth season, 12 years after this series ENDED. I GUARANTEE fans would find SOMETHING to bitch about every single step of the way. Just look at Young Justice. Much shorter timeframe between s2 and s3 getting picked up and yknow what fans are still doing? Being the Same Old Fans that Fans who Fan will Be.

Misinformation gets spread around every so often too, and I just wanna be really fucking clear: No amount of Toy Sales success/failure had anything to do with the show. No amount of the Demographics they Targeted vs Ones they Hit, had anything to do with the cartoons perceived ‘failure’. Especially considering that, again, they got a movie+5th season that hadn’t originally been planned for. So from that, no amount of fan petitions or campaigns were going to ‘bring it back’ because WB & the crew, again, had moved on to other projects. Because the show, as a production, had reached a natural conclusion.

Now sure, let’s fast forward to 2011/2012? The DC Nation block gets dropped into a SatAM slot. Nostalgia hits Big as, alongside new eps of Green Lantern:TAS & Young Justice, they showcase a plethora of shorts! One of which, is the New Teen Titans, done in that ~*adorable*~ Super-D form but with more or less the same style as the first cartoon.

Fans lose their minds and there’s a resurgence of petitions and letter writing campaigns (ones that I will readily admit to participating in because I was 15 and we all do DUMB things when we’re 15) And through all of this. WB/DC answers our Monkey Paw wish.

But here’s the thing abt the monkeys paw: you’ll get what you wish for, but it’s gonna come with a Big Ass Catch

And that catch, while they gave us the same lineup and same voicecast, they also gave us a comedy-focused & fully super-d/simplified style. And “fans” were Outraged with that.

But here we are again, 7 years later. And there’s a whole generation of fans who have forgotten the mistakes of the past, thinking and hoping against any kind of logic & blinded by nostalgia, that maybe JUST MAYBE. WB will revive a cartoon that ended in Two Thousand and Fucking Seven.

I tutor kids now who weren’t even born by then! The only Titans they know are TTG! And when they tell me they LOVE them, I say “that’s AWESOME dude! Did you know that they’ve got comic books abt them too?”

I tell them about the new generation of TTG! comics, the ones based on the cartoon they grew up with, not the ones I did. I let them know that there’s even more kid & teen heroes beyond the titans. And if they have a certain fav I let them tell me everything they love abt them and I tell them a cool Fact that might encourage them to find out more later!

Some days I HATE TTG, but I will NEVER tell a child that I hate something they love. I saw too much of that when I was growing up and I’ll be damned before I turn around and do the same damn thing to these kids.

Cartoons are a WONDERFUL medium to introduce a new generation of fans to these characters. And we should be encouraging WB to take more chances on bringing more of them to life. Not asking for the same few characters or groups to be redone over and over again.

Give me a Birds of Prey limited series! Give me a Secret Six Adult Oriented action-comedy! Explore that Amethyst short, with all its 80s game tech+magical girl anime aesthetic! Explore more Obscure characters with a quick 5-10 min story! Put a fresh new spin on a golden/silver age storyline (bc lbrhh some of them got WILD)

Just for the love of fuck stop pretending that One cartoon was the absolute Peak of Achievement and is the only thing that deserves to be revived or redone to death. Teen Titans WILL get another cartoon eventually. It’s like Scooby Doo and Batman. Its like Sherlock Holmes or Star Trek. It’s just a little early in its journey but it WILL have another reboot, another reimagining, another chance to shine for an entirely new generation. Everyone will have their preferences.

Just sit down, have a juice box and popcorn and enjoy ur fan servicey nonsense movie that you asked for But Didn’t Ask For, until we get that brand new series again.

TTG is gonna have to end eventually. And when it does, WB will be rubbing their hands together just biding its time until they can reboot the Titans again.

15/06/19 - 3:08am

i wanna try replicate my mind yesterday when i was doing the dishes at 10pm because it was really racing lmao

as mentioned prior, dan’s video on his sexuality really made thoughts that already swarm my mind way louder than usual, paired with the empty shelf that’s been left empty in my mindscape that had once been FILLED with a-level knowledge and stress. it’s now home to a bunch of loud questions about my identity, ranging from my nationality, religion, where i belong (maybe i’ll rant about that some other day, but i’ve made it vocal to people before) to my sexuality. i’m not sure if this was a ‘realisation’ of sorts but a couple months ago on a walk home from school, i remember declaring ‘if i was white, i would have probably come out as bisexual a long time ago’

and yeah i still believe that, 100%!

because despite my coconut-exterior that i seem to project (i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i feel devalued), i am brown: i do still have asian-indian parents that wouldn’t be thrilled about their son or daughter claiming they’re gay (i say ‘claiming’ because that’s what it would be to them. i know it. ‘such a typical claim in this weird society. bound to happen, it’s a trend these days’, etc.)

i remember asking my mum what she thought about the lgbt, and if i remember correctly, she didn’t mind it, but didn’t want it in her family or ‘circle’.

now i ain’t criticising my parents. many would, but i really can’t. because they were born in a different generation, in a different time where the lgbt community wasn’t exactly as prominent as it is today.

but good god. one day an advert for that reality tv show, ‘the bi life’ i think its called, popped onto the tv, and my dad was all ‘what the hell is this? … freakshow’ (he muttered)

AND I FELT? HURT? no, ‘hurt’ is a strong word. just a bit… prodded at?

and i still can’t decide the reason. was it because i was wondering where i should draw the line with my dad’s remarks towards the lgbt community? i’ve always had this internal debate with myself about whether i’m sort of ‘silencing’ my dad by taking a stand in issues he doesn’t really believe in (primarily the lgbt community, he’s cool with feminism… to an extent lol). he always has a shout about how people can only say what they’re really thinking behind closed doors. would i be taking this away from him? where can i really draw the line in this whole counter-argument of my parents simply being born in another generation? i mean, sure, they aren’t hurting anyone outside (i really hope), but his comments do affect me.

that’s reason 1 i felt a bit disorientated. society’s a bit mad with labels, and i couldn’t find it in me to label my parents a pair of homophobes. BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERE ARE ADULTS THEIR AGE THAT ARE WAY MORE ACCEPTI- i need to stop before i get trapped in this circular argument that i’ve had 19218839 times with myself before - this is already so much longer than i thought it’d be lmfao.

reason 2? and here’s where i feel fake and dumb. something in me resonates with bisexuality.

JESUS, my hands TINGLED and my FACE tingled and it’s starting to heat up right now because i never, ever, ever got that in words, let alone WRITING. because that would make it a real, concrete argument. and maybe no i dont think so elina, stop right theeree duedddeee

i dont know.

i dont know.

sigh.

i dont.

know.

referring back to ‘if i was white, i would have probably come out as bisexual a long time ago’, i know that i would have come out as bisexual if i was white because i feel they have way less to consider when doing so. that’s not to assume that all white people have caring, understanding and liberal parents (but let’s face it dude, white parents are more likely to come around to the idea and other ideas in today’s society that rigid, asian parents would not. might just research into that, lol). a white girl can and will marry a girl if they feel like it, and that’s amazing, that’s so good, that’s so cool that they don’t have maybe other questions that halt this process like: - okay but HOW willing am i to marry a woman? - how plausible is a relationship with a girl? cause, ladies and gents and everything in between, these questions are always pinned under ‘what percentage of me would be with a man rather than a woman’ because fucking damn it, weddings are MAN an d WOMAN AND BITCH IF I AM WHAT IM SCARED TO BE WHAT IF MY HEART LEADS ME TO A WOMAN AND NOT A MAN. think of all the disappointment. white families aren’t as extended as asian families - the news would spread like a vicious wildfire. the prospect of bisexuality for an asian person or a person of colour generally is always pinned with this disgusting, self-denying statement that they really don’t want to think:

‘even if i am, there’s like a bigger chance i’ll marry a man so it doesn’t really matter, right?’

that bigger chance will forever stem from these expectations set by their families, i think.

and it’s always that question that makes them think ‘WELL shit i guess i aint then considering i practically negotiated my sexuality: u cant do that rookie, sexuality is SET IN STONE, so there’s no way you’re that sexuality. you’re only saying it because it’s a thing in society to be.’

it’s just why i dont believe in labels in general, and i love dan’s video so much for dedicated a section towards the matter. sexuality to me is fluid. the only thing that kind of makes it concrete are those labels. labels are great for some people: it gives them a name, a sense of normality in such a heteronormative society. but there’s a negative in that no one can simply just. be.

i wanna.

i dont wanna really.

sigh, am i just trying to align myself with society today? this label-filled society where your worth comes from how many labels you have slapped onto your blazer? it’s like those little patches those sporty, intelligent girls got in assemblies for being leader of the netball team or for excelling in ‘resilience’ or whatever that heck that means. those patches, except they have ones for ‘brown’ +1 point! ‘female’ +1 point! ‘sexually-confused’ +1 point! unless u think ur str***ht, in which case -2 points! where was i going with this AGH my brain isn’t being cohesive it’s just spitting shit everywhere.

another thing that makes me deny it all is my friend. let’s call her peach: she’s brown, muslim, pakistani, has very strict parents, but is still happy to identify as ‘gay’ to the world, and that’s amazing. but it sort of makes me wonder why i haven’t done that yet = thus suggesting ‘yeah im not REALLY, i would’ve felt it like she did in year 8, felt more passion for it - and i dont even have parents as strict as hers, so i can’t be!’ but her sexuality has also been generally fluid: she’s dating a guy at the moment, and has practically abandoned labels for the time being. goals lol.

what the fuk am i saying oh my goddddddd i can’t even make sense of it because i feel like im being super insensitive towards white people sigh forget it im going to bed, maybe i’ll string together something that makes bloody SENSE. its 3am egghj.

EDIT: I POSTED THIS ON RREI-CHAN AFHIAFAHIFA it wasn’t up for long, could’ve been so much worse, could’ve been on ryuga-zuki

hi its ur horror anon back from the dead i have a question :) ok so like let's say svt entered some horror movie universe i'm curious who do u think would fit which character tropes? like who would be the fool that reads the magic book of the dead out loud or who would think it's a good idea to split up, who still won't believe there's something wrong until literally seconds before they're murdered, u know those sort of things..

this is....the best au question i’ve ever received

seungcheol: the jock type of course. finds the secret chained-up basement and thinks it’s a GREAT idea to check it out. he’s inexplicably friends with the rest of them despite being infinitely more popular, firmly believes nothing is wrong and everyone’s going crazy, & probably dies bc he went off to have sex in the woods

jeonghan: you’d think he’s the one that gets fucked over w/ seungcheol in the woods but nah son, he’s the brainy one that tries finding a way to end whatever’s happening to them. he probably figures out how to solve everything right before he gets brutally killed

joshua: absolutely the clueless one that has no idea what’s happening until he dies. “guys those aren’t people creeping ominously around in the foreboding fog, it’s just deer or smth haha” “what’s with all that fake blood? pretending to be in a horror movie? haha wow your acting is rlly improving lmao y’all wild ok i’m gonna go read in my room for a bit w my headphones on” rip in fucking pieces, josh, you never saw it coming

jun: honestly? the one that gets fucked over bc he went to have sex w/ seungcheol in the woods. probably the one that survives the first encounter and runs to warn the others, heavily injured & traumatized forever. he would’ve lasted longer, honestly, if he didn’t get injured due to seungcheol’s libido fuCKING HIM OVER

soonyoung: he’s the king of stupid decisions. he’s the fuckhead that found the necronomicron and decided to read it out loud in a stupidly exaggerated voice, then when everything fell to shit he panicked & suggested for everyone to split up. he’s more insulted than scared that he’s going to die bc he stumbled through a paragraph of shitty latin in a half-assed british accent than anything else

wonwoo: dude. dude, what the fuck. dude, what the fuck. wonwoo’s not an idiot, he’s the most genre savvy of them all. he carries no loyalties, splits up when one of his dumbass friends gets too slow or too loud, sticks with jihoon or minghao, he doesn’t fuck around. he’s here to survive, and he’s not abt to let someone else’s (or his own) stupidity get in his way

jihoon: tired of everyone’s bullshit. he TOLD them not to go into that creepy ass basement. he TOLD soonyoung not to read that fucking demon book made of human skin or some inhuman shit like that. he TOLD them, and now look at him. he’s improvising weapons with broken beer bottles and kitchen knives tied to broom poles. he doesn’t have time for whatever demonic minion is trying to crawl out of satan’s asshole. he probably lasts the longest tbh, or dies bc he tripped over mingyu’s giant feet at a critical moment

mingyu: dude, he did nothing wrong. he’s a good kid. what did he do to deserve this? he dies from slipping on a puddle of blood or smth at the worst time and gets instantly fucked. at one point he probably says “we’Re aLL in thIS toGETHer” in a high-pitched, cracking voice as everyone starts making a break for it

seokmin: you’d think this sweet boy would die early on, but surprisingly he sticks around for a pretty long time. he’s not very smart in these types of situations, but he stays with jihoon, never leaves his side, and doesn’t get in the way. at one point manages to kill smth ugly and demonic with a shard of broken mirror & jihoon actually looks impressed

minghao: “fuck you & fuck you & fuck YOU” he’s lee jihoon’s most successful protege, except instead of trying to bash in the heads of everything that moves, he just wants to get the fuck out. he doesn’t waste time anywhere for anything. he teams up with vernon and together the two of them figure out a way to survive and escape

vernon: ok, but you KNOW he’s thought through scenarios for every horror trope imaginable a thousand times in his head. he may look chill but he has like 15 different contingency plans for zombies alone depending on location & number of people he’s with. he’s terrified but also highly gratified that his conspiracy theories are being validated. probably has a smug ass grin on his face even as he’s running for his life

seungkwan: hysterically screams anytime something is chasing him. like. bro. shut up. they’re only gonna know where you are if you keep shrieking like that. if you ran fast enough and far enough and hide they won’t find you bc they aren’t fucking omniscient so just shut the hell up seungkwan. minghao almost murders kwannie himself because of his big mouth

chan: bitch, you know he took the first bus outta there the second he saw signs of supernatural tomfoolery going on

Angry Dudes May Break My Bones, but it’s Friendly Girls that Scare Me

A/N: I’ve been working on fleshing out the earlier part of Min and Kazu’s relationship, so this is set ~7.5 years back. Min is 21/22, Kazu is like 19/20. Takao isn’t even close to being in the picture yet; this is back when Min was running a bakery and Kazu was a street gremlin.

From a distance, the scene looked peaceful: the golden sunset illuminated blossoms on the hills, the warm scent of flowers marking the transition from the edge of the city to its much more charming rural surroundings. A few silhouettes were visible near the old bridge over the river, and some small animals were scuttling through the nearby bushes. Though it seemed serene at a glance, upon closer inspection, the men by the bridge seemed to be duking it out.

It wasn't really Kazu's fault the fight had started. The thugs should have known better than to bring Minato up while arguing. Kazu always fought hard to protect himself, but he turned fucking barbaric when his boyfriend was threatened.

At the moment, three hulking idiots were sprawled, unconscious, across the bridge they'd been standing near, and a fourth had fled. The last thug was grappling with over six and a half feet of pure rage in the form of Kazuhiro Yokota. It looked like the shorter, huskier man was at the advantage, as the wiry dark-haired man was currently backed up against the railing of the bridge. However, a combat boot to the stomach sent the final brute flying, and he slammed into the far railing with a sickening thud. The rickety old post bent on impact, nearly cracking.

The momentum of the kick had thrown Kazu backwards, and as he slammed into the railing, he felt the wood buckle, splitting under his weight. He cursed loudly in a chaotic mix of Japanese and Russian as he grasped at the splintering planks, attempting to escape the 15 foot drop to the ground. As he flipped over the edge, his arm twisted at an unnatural angle, straining even further as all his weight pulled against it. A sickening wrench assaulted his shoulder, and a high-pitched shriek escaped his lips as the pain forced him to let go.

———————————————————————

Kazu’s eyes flickered open, his unfocused gaze glaring up at a fading sky. He’d definitely blacked out  for a moment, and honestly, he wished he was still unconscious. Everything hurt. His head was pounding, his bad shoulder was throbbing, and a stabbing pain in his chest was severely impairing his breathing. His legs were sore from the impact, but luckily didn’t seem to be broken. He spent several minutes just fighting for consciousness against the overwhelming pain before he could even begin to think about what was wrong or what he needed to do.

He needed a ride home. He had walked here, and was in no shape to drive, anyway. He groped around nearby for his phone, wincing and grimacing and praying it hadn’t sustained too much damage. Luckily, the case on his cell could probably stop a small caliber bullet, and it was entirely unscathed. Kazu struggled to unlock the phone and flick through his contacts. His arm was aching, his fingers were shaking, and the blood smearing on the screen made it harder to see what he was doing. After a good bit of fumbling, he managed to get it ringing.

Minato answered the phone just before it went to voicemail. “Sorry, sweetie. I was across the house doing laundry. What’s up?”

“Hey--” Kazu’s voice almost broke because of the pain, and he struggled to catch his breath and continue his sentence. “Hey, babe? I could use a ride home, if... if you ain’t too busy…”

“I’m not. I just finished the laundry.” Minato chirped. “Send me the location and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“You’re the best, babe.” Kazu hung up so he could text Minato the address while he still had enough focus to make use of his fine motor skills. He could feel his consciousness flickering, but he did his best to stay awake. He wasn’t about to let Minato stumble upon his passed-out, fucked up body.

The rumbling of an approaching car caught Kazuhiro’s attention. He gingerly forced himself to sit up, propping himself up on his good arm. His vision wasn’t too clear at the moment--his head was still spinning and pounding, but he could make out a tiny blond figure climbing out of the car parked near the bridge.

“Kazu-chan???” Minato was looking around, confused. He grew even more baffled when a hoarse reply came from down below the bridge.

“Look down, babe.”

Minato’s gaze shifted to under the bridge. A river usually ran there, but it was bone-dry at the moment. The smaller man’s jaw nearly dropped off his face in horror as he registered the sight of his battered boyfriend sprawled on the ground.

“Oh my god! Are you okay? What happened??” The tiny blond hurried down the side of the bank, almost slipping on some of the steeper parts.

Kazu winced a little every time Minato lost his balance. “Take it easy. Make it down safe. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Though he didn’t want to delay helping his boyfriend, Minato realized he was going to fall if he didn’t slow down. He carefully climbed down the rest of the way before kneeling down next to Kazuhiro. “Sweetheart, what the fuck did you do?”

The dark-haired man raised an eyebrow in surprise; Minato never cursed, and it had caught him off guard. “Just a fight. I kicked the other guy’s ass… I just kinda…. Fell.” He smiled sheepishly, even though it hurt. His face was a mess of cuts and bruises, but he knew smiling would reassure Minato a little. Min’s grey-brown eyes shone with worry as he analyzed the scene, but he did seem a little more relaxed than when he initially arrived.

“We need to get you cleaned up and bandaged… Can you stand?” From his tone, it sounded like Minato expected a ‘no’.

Kazu forced himself to sit all the way up with a grimace. “I think so. Gimme a hand.” He held out his good hand, and Minato put all his effort into tugging his husband to his feet. It was a bit of an effort, but between the two of them, they managed to get Kazu upright.

The trudge up the riverbank was slow and incredibly painful. Kazu hissed and cursed at every misstep, which caused Minato to stammer apologies, even though it wasn’t his fault and Kazu knew that. By the time they finally dragged Kazu’s lanky battered ass to the car, both men were exhausted and stressed to hell. Kazu flopped across the back seat, mumbling about how seatbelts wouldn’t really do him much good in this state. Too drained to argue, Minato nodded and climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Ah, god… I’m trying to remember where the nearest emergency room is…” Minato bit his lip as he wracked his brain. He’d never had a very good sense of direction, and he was totally lost at the moment.

“Emergency r--fuckin’... hell no!” Kazu sat up indignantly, though he immediately fell back down with a grimace. “I ain’t goin’ to no fuckin’ emergency room!”

“Sweetie, you’re bleeding, you’ve definitely broken some bones, and it looks like you dislocated your shoulder again. It’s not optional. You need to see a doctor.”

“Nah, I ain’t goin’ to the fuckin’ hospital! We can't afford ‘at shit! I’ll be fine, jus’ need a drink… and some ice.”

Minato sighed in frustration. He was about to object again when he got a better idea. “Fine. Okay. We can go home. Just relax.”

Kazu sighed in relief, closing his eyes and just praying for death as the ride continued. He was way too zoned out to notice Minato chattering on the phone as they drove home. The slight jolt of the car stopping was enough to bring Kazu back to earth, and he scowled in confusion at the sight of another car parked outside the bakery. Minato, on the other hand, looked thrilled.

“Oh, thank god. She’s here.”

“Who’s here? What’d you do?!” Kazu asked, confused and frustrated.

Minato shushed his husband as he helped Kazu out of the car. “Relax. I just called a friend for help, that’s all.”

“What friend? Who is it? What the fuck’s goin’ on?” Kazu leaned on Minato as they headed towards the door, where they were met by a thirty-ish woman with short brown hair and smart clothes.

She approached them with a smile, “Good to see you Min. Is this the boyfriend you were talking about?”

“He is, yeah.” Minato smiled and nodded.

“Pleasure. I’m Carla.” She held out a hand to shake, but Kazu didn’t react, currently giving her a wary look.

Minato sighed, chiming in in his boyfriend’s stead. “His name is Kazuhiro.” He explained, unlocking the door of the bakery.

Carla nodded, still doing her best to be friendly. “Nice to meet you. Let’s get inside so we can get you fixed up.” She held out a hand; being a good six inches taller than Minato, she figured she’d be a better support as they made their way across the apartment.

To her surprise, the dark-haired young man jumped a few steps back, adopting a defensive stance. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.” He snapped.

Carla blinked, taken aback. She paused for a moment before murmuring, “Take it easy. I don’t bite…”

Minato frowned, glancing between both of them. “Sweetie, she’s just trying to help.”

“I don’t fuckin’ care. She ain’t gettin’ ‘er hands on me.” Kazu replied.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re barely able to stand. You can only even use one arm.” Carla snapped, losing her patience.

“Don’t take two to hold a knife.” Kazu growled. “Go ahead, try an’ touch me. See what happens.”

Carla furrowed her brows, taking a step closer as she made eye contact with the taller young man. “It’s not wise to start problems with people trying to help you. Have fun in a few hours, when you end up dragging your sorry ass to the emergency room because you rejected my help.” She shoved her way past him and stalked out the front door.

Kazu smacked her hand away the second it came close, but Carla didn’t seem fazed, continuing to ignore the bad-tempered young man as she got back into her car and drove off. Minato groaned in frustration. “Do you realize you just scared away a doctor? She was about to take care of you for free, as a favor to me.”

“I don’t care. I don’t need your favors. I’ll be fine. I don’t let girls touch me.” Kazu replied flatly. Despite the throbbing pains in his everything, he stalked across the bakery, just to make a point. By the time he was in the living room, he was leaning heavily on the wall in an attempt to stay upright.

Sighing in frustration, Minato hurried up the stairs behind his boyfriend, wrapping an arm around Kazu’s waist and leading him to the couch. “Sit still a minute. I’ll go get some bandages, at least…” He shuffled off down the hall, ducking into the bathroom to dig through the cabinets. He managed to find gauze, rubbing alcohol, medical tape, and a handful of Scooby-Doo bandaids. That would have to do, he supposed. Gathering the supplies in his arms, he returned to the living room, where Kazu had taken off his jacket and was currently stuck in his own t-shirt, which was kind of hard to take off one handed. Stifling a giggle, Minato asked, “Do… do you need some help?”

“No!” Kazu huffed, yanking roughly at the edge of the shirt with his left hand as if added force would make up for lost dexterity. “I can hand - ow! Fuck…” He quickly let go of the shirt after nearly tearing his arm off, and turned to Minato with a shameful red glow to his cheeks. “I guess… you can help… if you want. But only cause you asked. I could do it, if I wanted.”

“I know you could.” Minato nodded affirmingly as he set down the bandages on the side table. “Just hold still a second.” As gently as he could, he peeled the grimy graphic t-shirt off of the taller boy, mumbling something under his breath about doing laundry. “There.”

“Thanks…” Kazu grumbled, avoiding eye contact and keeping his voice almost too low to hear.

Minato nodded, grabbing the rubbing alcohol and a piece of gauze. He narrowed his eyes and looked the taller man up and down, trying to gauge where to start; he ended up settling on a two-inch gash over Kazu’s right brow. Despite the sting, the dark-haired troublemaker didn’t flinch, allowing Minato to work more easily. It took a good ten or fifteen minutes to clean up all the cuts and scrapes, at which point, Minato switched to bandaging up the injuries that needed it. Once all that was taken care of, he sighed. “I’m not sure there’s much I can do for your shoulder… That’s really more a doctor’s level of work.”

Kazu shook his head. “I can handle ‘at. Go in the kitchen or somethin’ - ya don’t wanna watch.” His tone was surprisingly calm, and he gently nudged Minato away with his good hand. The tiny blond reluctantly shuffled away, glancing briefly back at Kazu before ducking into his room to hide.

Minato dug through his drawers, looking for something clean Kazu could wear. Luckily, a few outfits of his had been left at Minato’s over the last few months, tucked away into a corner of the dresser until they might be needed. After a moment’s pondering, Min settled on a pair of faded jeans and an old band t-shirt. As he was pulling them out of the drawer, a sickening POP came from the living room, followed by a shaky “fuuuuuhck….” Minato cringed, his chest tightening in sympathy as he crept back out to see Kazu.

“Are you okay?” The smaller man ventured, nervously scuffing his toes against the carpet.

Currently clutching at his bad arm like it might fall off, Kazu gave a terse nod. “Mmhm. ‘m fine.” He mumbled, despite all the colour having drained from his face; he looked about one mild startling away from passing out.

Minato clutched at the fabric he was carrying; he wanted to hug Kazu and make him feel better, but he knew his boyfriend wasn’t the huggy-cuddly type. “I brought you some clean clothes. You can change, and I’ll find an ice pack and some painkillers. Does that sound okay?”

“Mm.” Kazu nodded again, though his gaze was a little unfocused. He held out his good hand to accept the clothes, trembling faintly as he did so. Minato handed over the shirt and jeans, hurrying away to find painkillers.

When Minato returned, Kazu was sitting on the couch, shirtless, but wearing the new clean jeans. He’d given up trying to get the shirt on after getting stuck a third time. Minato tucked the painkillers into his pocket, grabbing the shirt off the couch. Without a word, he slipped it over Kazu’s head and very gently maneuvered his bad arm into the sleeve. Kazu blushed but didn’t say anything, huffing slightly when Minato ruffled his hair.

“I brought you some painkillers and water. I haven’t been able to find an ice pack, though.” The blond murmured, offering both the pills and water to Kazu.

“S’alright. I’ll be fine.” Kazu shrugged and immediately grimaced in regret. He did his best to hide the pain in his face, downing the painkillers to reassure Minato that he would in fact be okay.

Minato nodded and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. “Do you need anything else?”

“We got any vodka?”

“If you left any, it’s here…”

Though Min had his doubts about how well vodka mixed with painkillers, he really didn’t want to get into an argument right now; he was already heading into the kitchen to grab a bottle. He didn’t drink, and Kazu had practically hauled in a truckload of the stuff a couple weeks back. Whether Costco had been having a sale, or a liquor store had been robbed, Minato wasn’t sure, and didn’t really want to know. Setting his judgements aside, he returned to Kazu, vodka in hand. Before handing it over, Min twisted the cap off, knowing that would be difficult to do with one hand. Once the bottle was open, the tiny blond gave his boyfriend a kiss and a drink before plopping down on the couch.

Kazu mumbled his thanks before taking a long swig of the vodka; the bottle was nearly a quarter empty by the time he set it down. He sighed and sunk back against the couch, glancing down at Minato. “You had dinner yet?” The taller man asked.

“No, actually. I was going to eat after I finished laundry, but…” There was no need to finish the sentence.

“Go getcha some food. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Minato hesitated for a moment, but ended up hopping to his feet and scurrying off to feed himself. He hadn’t really thought about it until Kazu mentioned it, but he was starving. After digging through a few cabinets, he ended up settling on instant ramen. It was kind of pathetic, but it was by far the fastest and easiest thing he had lying around. About five minutes later, he returned to the couch, happily munching on the noodles in his styrofoam cup.

The dark-haired demon gave Minato an upward nod of greeting, too busy drinking to give a verbal ‘hello’. Min smiled back and sat down next to his boyfriend, leaning on Kazu as he continued to eat. “You’re warm…” He mumbled between bites.

Kazu didn’t have a response for that, instead throwing his good arm around Minato. He gently squeezed the smaller man’s shoulders, pondering whether he’d get bitched at if he asked for more vodka. In the end, he decided it would be better to wait until Min got up again. He was buzzed enough for now…

The rest of the night was blissfully uneventful as it dragged on. Minato spent most of it watching Animal Planet on the staticky TV, before realizing how late it was and desperately scrambling off the couch. “Oh jeez, I need to get to bed,” he sighed, “do you need anything before I go?”

“More vodka?” Kazu asked hopefully, giving Min his best puppy-dog eyes. With a reluctant nod, the tiny blond obliged, returning with another bottle as well as another kiss.

“There’s blankets in the closet, and snacks in the cabinet. Don’t light anything on fire.” Minato was mostly joking. Mostly.

Kazu chuckled, patting Minato on the head before his boyfriend shuffled out of reach. “Night, babe.”

“Night~”

———————————————————————

The sun was barely up when Minato’s alarm went off. Such was the bane of working at a shop that served breakfast. He crawled out of bed with a yawn and shuffled into the kitchen, sticking a bagel in the toaster before going to check on Kazu. A gentle knock sent the bedroom door swinging open; it had apparently been left ajar. Min sighed morosely as he scanned the room - the bed was empty, and the window wide open. He’d hoped Kazu was past the days of sneaking off in the night, but he’d always been a little too optimistic.

Shuffling over to the window, Minato fought with it for a minute as he tried to get it closed. The damn thing loved to stick, and after a few minutes of struggling and grumbling, he gave up. “Fine! Stay open. I don’t care.” He huffed, turning to walk away.

“Havin’ some trouble down there?”

Min nearly jumped out of his skin as a familiar voice echoed from above him. It was too early for this supernatural bullshit. “Kazu-chan? A… are you a ghost?” His tone wavered between frightened and incredulous.

The dark-haired young man laughed. “Nah, I’m on the roof.”

Now Minato was a little irked. “What the hell are you doing up there?”

“Ya don’t like it when I smoke inside.”

“Well… but… I mean… No, I don’t, but why the roof?”

“I felt like it.” Kazu gave less fucks than an ugly nun that lived alone.

Minato sighed deeply, realizing he wasn’t going to get a logical answer out of his maniac of a boyfriend. “Well, why don’t you come inside? I’m making breakfast, I can make you something.”

"Nah, I'd rather stay up here."

"But it's cold, and damp..."

"Nah,” Kazu insisted, “I'm fine."

"But inside it's warm, and there's food."

"Nope, totally fine."

There was a long moment of silence before Minato snickered. “You can’t get down, can you?”

“I’m up here cause I wanna be.” Kazu’s tone was more stubborn now, like he was trying to convince himself.

“You are absolutely stuck.” Minato was now leaning against the windowsill, smirking.

Kazu huffed, “I am not!”

“Alright. If you say so. I’m gonna go get breakfast then. You can come down when you want to.” Minato laughed, starting to head back inside.

“No, don’t go!” Kazu did a terrible job of masking the urgency and embarrassment in his voice.

Minato peeked back out the window, grinning broadly. “Why not?”

“Cause I need ya to help me down…”

Fall 2017 Preview

Another season, another... season.

1 Houseki no Kuni: This might be one that looks silly in three months but it's definitely the show I'm most excited for right now. 3D anime has been nothing but good to me for the past few years and has proven to me that both cute girls and the spirit of Japanese anime can be preserved in 3D. This one has got an out-there concept and aesthetic and I can't wait to see what they do with it. Add to that the best voice cast of the season and you've got yourself a hype.

2 Blend S: This is going to be amazing. Just look at what it says under the title in the logo. [x]SADISTIC [x]TSUNDERE [x]IMOUTO [x]ONEESAN [x]IDOL. It's got all the ingredients: adorable character design, a blondenblu, and a cafe theme which automatically makes me think it's better because of subconscious influence from Gochiusa. It can't miss!

3 Konohana Kitan: Cute shrine shenanigans! Blend S is my pick for cute girls doing cute things this season but this show doesn't look like it's going to lag very far behind. The director is the guy responsible for a couple of criminally underrated classics: Ebiten and Nagasarete Airantou.

4 Shoujo Shuumatsu Ryokou: This looks like it could be what I really wanted out of Made in Abyss: cute girls having slow adventures at the end of the world. The ever-masterful Fudeyasu Kazuyuki is penning the adaptation, so it's got everything going for it. A definite AOTS contender.

5 Mahoutsukai no Yome: This looks like one of the most... serious? shows of next season? I'm not really sure how to put it. It actually looks like it has an interesting plot and setting and stuff? Anime has broken my brain's ability to think about fiction outside of the frame of cute girls. Girls do look cute though!

6 Kino no Tabi: Kino is one of those things I've always heard about being really good but never had anything to do with. Never saw the old anime (it was already old when I started watching anime in 2004) or read any of the novel, but by all accounts it's one of the best LNs out there. Kuroboshi Kouhaku's stock couldn't be higher right now, so it's as good a time as any to do a new adaptation of it. Ao-chan and Ayaneru is a power duo in the cast department so I have high hopes for this one.

7 Imouto Sae Ireba Ii: I recently read the first volume of the LN this is based on, and honestly, I thought it was kind of bad. But if there's one thought I had while reading it, it was "this should really be an anime and not a book." There's literally no plot to speak of, it's just sequential vignettes of characters doing random things like playing a tabletop RPG or going to Okinawa because reasons. That makes for a shitty novel, but sounds like it'll be right up my alley for an anime. Plus Oonuma Shin is directing, and you know he's one of my all-time favorites.

8 Boku no Kanojo ga Majimesugiru Shobicchi na Ken: Now this, lads, is anime. It's an anime about dirty jokes starring Yuuki Aoi, how can it NOT be good?

9 Himouto! Umaru-chan R: I keep forgetting this is coming next season entirely. Umaru is one of those shows that firmly occupies a distinct "second tier" of cute girl doing cute thing shows. Not bad by any stretch of the imagination, and I have fond memories of the first season, but just lacking that je nais sais quoi that your Gochiusas and Hidamaris have. Looking forward to more Kirie-chan, who is best girl.

10 Two Car: When I see the title of this show (it's つうかあ in Japanese) I just hear the train driver from Densha de Go announcing that he's passing through a station. Everyone thinks of the same thing when you mention an all-girl sports anime based on an obscure or fictionalized concept; I don't think I even need to mention it by name. That's right, but I don't think this will be nearly as lewd as Keijo! No but in all seriousness, it's gonna be Garupan but with sidecars. I just wish the girls wore lewd outfits or something instead of race suits. What can I say, I am simple man.

11 Kujira no Ko-ra wa Sunajou ni Utau: Looks fantasy as fuck. Ishiguro Kyouhei is directing his first anime since the best show of last year, Occultic;Nine, and the usually capable Yokote Michiko is on the script (although I haven't actually liked anything she's written since uh, I guess Sekkou Boys would be the last one...) Still, this kind of artsy-fartsy show looks like a good followup to O;9 for Ishiguro so I'm interested in how it turns out.

12 Dies irae: Everyone says the game this is based on is a masterpiece, or whatever, but all anyone is going to talk about with this show is it's that one crowdfunded show. If it turns out to be bad everyone is going to feel real stupid. The character designs look pretty ugly to my taste, although Nabatame Hitomi's character is pretty cute. Man, when was the last time Naba-nee played a major heroine?

13 Ousama Game The Animation: Ah yes the Osama Game. Death game stories are always way too far up their own ass; I think the only good one I've seen was Akuma no Riddle and that was solely good because the entire cast was cute girls. There's some pretty cute girls in this one too but it looks like most of the main cast is dudes. Nice to see Pine Jam continue to raise their profile though.

14 URAHARA: The joshiryoku is takai with this one. The art looks aesthetic but the PV makes it look kind of cheap and doesn't inspire confidence. I'm not sure if Takahashi Natsuko has ever written an original anime of note so it's up in the air how this one turns out.

15 Wake Up, Girls! Shinshou: Ah WUG, or as it's known in the business, Yamakan's Folly. Funnily enough, Yamakan isn't even bothering to direct this one and I'm really interested to see if that's a good or a bad thing. WUG is definitely at the bottom of the tier ranking for idol anime but it's kind of taken on a life of its own, with the 3D version of the Wake Up Girls being pretty successful. The first anime was just okay; it'll be cool if they could pull an actually good one out of their hats.

16 Lovelive! Sunshine!!: Why do I continue to subject myself to aidorus. The first season of Sunshine was garbo and I hated it for just being the exact same thing as the original but worse. And yet I'm going to happily watch the second season because it's gonna have more Yohane in it, and Yohane is love, Yohane is life.

17 Yuuki Yuuna wa Yuusha de Aru -Washio Sumi no Shou-/-Yuusha no Shou-: Yuyuyu may have left a sour taste in a lot of mouths with the way it ended, but it was a complete story that actually, you know, ended. I'm really not sure we actually need more stories in this world, much less a prequel. We all already know what the twists are now so I'm not sure how they'll make it compelling. The second part of this weird production actually is a sequel but I think I want that even less than I do a prequel. Just leave the memories alone! At least it's got Hanabee.

18 Netojuu no Susume: Dork romance. Almost certainly a short, but Fudeyasu is writing it so it'll surely be good for a laugh.

19 UQ HOLDER! Mahou Sensei Negima 2: HIKARU KAZE WO OIKOSHITARA NANI GA MATTEIRU NO KANA AMEFURI DEMO HEIKI NIJI NI NARU YOOOO KARAFURU HAPPY MATERIARU GO!! KIMI NI KITTO AERU NE CHIISANA YUUKI WO SAKASEYOUUUUUUUUUU

20 Omiai Aite wa Oshiego, Tsuyoki na, Mondaiji: This is clearly shoujo bait but I'm a total sucker for cute teacher chan-nees and this one looks cute as hell. It's the first show that airs in the season so I'll probably end up checking it out just because of that, but I don't expect to finish it. It's probbaly going to end up being a weird abusive relationship because shoujo.

21 Shokugeki no Souma San no Sara: Unfortunately I won't be watching this since Tane-chan's role was recast. Nothing against Rierie but da Tane was literally half the reason I even watched this series (the other half being Alice who never gets enough screentime anyway).

Seventeen in Toronto Highlights (Long Post)

this is gonna be such a shit post im basically ranting bc i have a lot of seventeen feels rn (its gonna be long too)

the concert happened like 4 days ago and I’m still not over it

Okay so I live in new Brunswick so it was a 15 hour drive one way. We drove up the day before and drove home the day after.

It was tiring, but so worth it. One of the best experiences of my life(oh btw i went with a friend ^^)

(not relevant to the concert but we went to a cute Korean store called Sarah and Tom which had a MASSIVE collection of kpop albums so I bought Going Seventeen and a BTS album :) )

Alright so the concert was at a place called Massey Hall which is more like a theater than a concert stadium [lowkey looked like a place you would go to see a play or an opera or some shit]

it was a pretty small place so really no matter where you sat, you could see really well so any seat was a good seat

Me and my friend were center-balcony near the back so we had a very clear view of the stage (other than there was some tall dude in front of me so it was a bit difficult at times)

We arrived outside the venue at around 6:20 (concert started at 7) and the line to get in already went around a whole block. People were stopping to ask what was going on and apparently it made the Toronto news??

So we get in at around 6:40 and the venue is already more than half full and theyre just playing music videos and everyone was singing along

And when I say everyone was singing along i mean everyone

Honestly I only remember a few of the songs but I they played BoomBoom, Very Nice, Highlight, Healing, and Check In

I have never been happier in my entire life when every single damn person in the venue did Mingyu’s “WhhoAHHH YeaAAHHH’ part. Super. Fucking. Loud

Alright so let me tell you my dudes, It was the biggest adrenaline rush when all the lights went out and you could see the boys run out on stage in the dimness. My heart felt like it stopped.

The lights turn on and I hear Dokyum say “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Diamond Edge” but honestly I wasnt even paying attention bc I was just so blown away

Literally my very first thought upon seeing them was “They’re not real” bc the very first person I looked at was Jeonghan and I thought he was so damn gorgeous he must be fake

He’s literal ethereal. I could go off about how good looking he is. Honestly the true visual of Svt (i swear hes not my bias)

So the very first stage was Pretty U and honestly I dont remember much bc i was too busy freaking out over the fact that I was actually there and they were actually here. I just remember everyone dancing along to Dokyums “Neoneoneoneo” part and all of us doing the “Yeppeuda” part

(they performed Beautiful right after and i really dont remember much of it other than the dance in the chorus [i have such a shit memory its mainly why im making this post before ill forget it all])

So after that they went straight into Adore U (which is my fav svt song although it probably isnt anymore after habits but ill talk about that in a bit)

Oh man if you thought I went off about Jeonghans visuals let me tell you about this mans vocals. They’re so sweet. Sweeter than honey. Jeonghans part in the chorus is my absolute favorite part of the song and it sounds 10000x better live. He just sings it so flawlessly while doing the dance and overall I was just so impressed??

Jihoon also sounded amazing but like let me just take a minute and say every single member sounded fucking perfect and flawless like if you aren’t stanning Seventeen then what are you doing

And the dances were so on point too. I didn’t notice any slip ups or anybody trippin or nothing. Like you’d think they’d show signs of fatigue or being tired bc they did two shows the few days before but they were all so hyped and gave their all in every stage and they genuinely looked like they were enjoying themselves

Anyways back to Adore U

Everyone in the crowd did the “Akkinda” part and I could see Soonyoung smiling so big bc of that like he was really happy bc of it

After Adore U finished they all lined up to do their intros and introduced themselves as a group and then did their individual intros

Most of them just did a casual “Hi I’m ___” but then you had the extra™️ members

Soonyoung got us all to chant something (im not sure what it was exactly I think it was ‘rock the beat’) and then he did his usual “What time is it??” “10 Hour 10 Minute” which honestly made my life i was hoping for him to do that (i love soonyoung sm honestly most of my favorite moments of the concert were bc of him)

Dokyum also did a thing where he got everyone to scream for him

All of their intros were great but none of them were as memorable as Jihoons for me

I know a lot of people were saying ‘He’s not that small in person’, but to me he was so small and cute and I just wanted to go and hug him bc hes so freaking adorable

So Jihoon’s kinda quiet and shy in general, we know that from variety shows and such but I saw it a lot in the concert. Like when other members were talking he just stood quietly with his hands folded and there was this one part where they all ran towards the edge of the stage and gave hearts and Jihoon like covered his face a bit and looked embarrassed 

So anyways he does like this cute little “Hi guys” and I just fucking melted right there. I made an audible “awwwww” sound that my friend was like ???

I love Jihoon so much and I will forever see him as the cute and adorable little smol (boi got a voice tho holy shit)

So they talked a bit more after that about how they walked around Toronto a bit the day before and how they were impressed with the crowd dancing along to Pretty U and Mingyu taught us a little chant where they would say “Seventeen Carat” and we would go ‘clap clap Ehhhhh’ it was weird but cute

So they went straight into Still Lonely from there and I hate my brain for not remembering most of it bc its one of my favorite songs but I just remember Minghao doing Jun’s part in the last chorus and sounding amazing honestly i want an official 13 member version of that song

So after that was Very Nice which was indeed, very nice. Dancing on point. Dino and Vernons rap were amazing and the whole audience did the “Maja” part

Also dont remember much of that stage but I definitely remember the last part bc thats the part where my son, Chan, is in the front. 10/10

Okay so I have 2 favorite performances of the night. One of which was Swimming Fool. I am such a hoe for Performance unit (considering 2 of my biases are in it) so actually every performance of theirs was my fav but Swimming Fool tho. 

That song is one of my favs and I had never seen the dance before so I was basically dying the whole time. Soonyoung’s little wiggle dance and the jumping up and down dance that Chan did. The whole dance was so cute tbh Ive been re-watching that video every day since. (if youve never seen the dance pls watch this. Not my video tho) 

Alright imma talk about Soonyoung for a minute. This boi. Was so hyper the entire concert. He  was doing his usual yelling during songs and was giggling a whole lot, I noticed. (He also dabbed like 20 times and i was like someone pls stop him)

(There was one part where he went and dabbed right in front of Jihoon and i laughed a little harder than i should have)

And I’m honestly so glad that Soonyoung was feeling great the whole time bc apparently at the Chicago(?) show he wasn’t able to perform bc he was sick so we were extremely blessed that all 13 members were well and healthy to perform for us so like thank u jesus for keeping them all safe

(I was lowkey worried about that a lot before the concert bc of when I heard Hyungwon was missing parts of the tour with MX so I was like “Lord pls let it be all 13″)

anywho so all the members went to change outfits and they played a vcr (dont remember what of tho i have such a shit memory)

So yall they did Mansae next and started out with the class chairs and Dokyum was the teacher at the blackboard it was rlly cute!! ^^ And towards the end they repeated the “MansaeMansae” part and got everyone to do the dance it was such a great time

So while the rest of the group was preparing for the next stage(i presume), Chan and Seungcheol came out, just the two of them, with a gopro and said it was the camera for “Going Seventeen” and were filming the crowd and interacting with us a bit. And then they had a dance battle (Which Dino clearly won Seungcheol didnt stand a chance against Michael Chanson)

So then everybody came out and did BoomBoom which was  incredible (every stage was amazing i feel like i shouldnt have to say it) Most of the crowd even did the shirt thing which was really fun. Chan slayed his rap (i love my son)

So after that there was another vcr and the members changed outfits again

Vocal unit came out and sang We Gonna Make It Shine and boys let me say I have never fell in love with someone vocals so much before in my life. Like I’ve always loved Jihoon’s voice bc it was unique and its got a nasally tone to it and I love it, but hearing it in person made me love it 100x more

And for a while I actually thought Jihoon wasn’t singing?? Bc he just sounded so flawless, like exactly like the recording that I thought ‘maybe hes lip singing bc his throat is bad or something’ and I’m hitting myself now for even thinking that bc really Lee Jihoon is just the most amazing vocalist I’ve ever heard Boo Seungkwan who???

So yeah Vocal unit slayed even though I’ll always like the 2014 version of that song with Soonyoung better

As soon as that song ended they went straight into Don’t Listen and omg let me talk about visuals. The stage had this whole setup with a table with some fancy ass candles on it and there was a throne that Joshua was sitting in and the lighting was really eerie and I really don’t listen to that song much but im gonna listen to it every day from now on bc damn

HipHop unit had their turn next where they did some song which I had never heard of before called “On Haeng Il Chi” and it was dope then went into Check In and once again everyone did Mingyus “ohhhhhHHh yeahH” part (glorious I tell you)

Seungcheol was serving looks the whole time bc he was wearing this black suit set and he just looked so good the whole time. Honestly Seungcheol was such a tease the whole concert and i got a look at his thighs at one point and man he thicc

Vernon was also wearing this nice green shirt and I just really liked it for some reason and I wish I had taken more pictures and videos I hate myself for not doing that

AlrIGHT Performance Unit time!!! So leadin up to the concert I thought they were gonna perform “WHO” bc it was a bonus track and I just thought they would perform it for some reason so when they were all standing there ready for the song to start, the amount of confusion on my face when OMG came on… Wasn’t disappointed tho that performance was awesome

Still would like to see a performance of WHO tho I hope they’ll do that next time

And then they did Highlight and me and my friend even switched seats so I could get a better video of it bc I love that song so much. Also leading up to the concert I knew they were going to do this song but I wasn’t sure if they were going to do 13 member version or not but I’m glad it was just the 4 of them

Oh man okay I’m gonna talk about my bias, Chan, for a second. His stage presence in every song is seriously amazing. A main reason why hes my bias is bc im a huge fan of his dancing and his dance style(and he pretty cute) and seeing him perform live was incredible. it was almost overwhelming bc I couldnt believe someone this talented existed and I was watching them in their element 

Like he put his all into the dance while still executing his raps and vocals perfectly. His voice actually does sound a bit different live, like its a bit higher than I expected but he was so on point the whole night why is he such an underrated member

Okay so the members had another outfit change after this and these outfits were straight up sinful. Not to mention the first song they performed in them was equally as sinful so I’m going to on about this performance bc this was the best performance imo. I will never forget it. It’s ingrained into my brain forever

So Crazy In Love starts. Okay so I don’t listen to this song much as far as just listening to it in my free time, but I’d seen the dance before so as soon as I heard the music, I knew we were royally fucked. I wasn’t expecting this song probably bc i forgot it existed but its my new fav song guys this performance ruined me. 

So the lights come on at the very first part and these mofos are wearing tight black skinny pants (which looked like they were leather but they werent) and red silk sparkly shirts that were tucked in. Every single member looked flawless 

(Also didn’t mention this before but all of their hair was styled so well bless the stylists. I normally prefer a more natural color for hair on idols so I was glad the colorful dye had faded and most of them just went with black or brown)

But lord have mercy when the song started. Okay Chan is my bias but I could not stop staring at Soonyoung almost the entire time - minus for Chan’s “talking about love” part (which I remember doing the dance for and screaming while doing so)

Like you get Swimming Fool Soonyoung whos all cute and playful and going “YEEEE HAWW” during the song and then you get Crazy In Love Soonyoung whos all bedroom eyes and sexy glares and just everything about the way he moves is mesmerizing (i swear. Hes NOT my bias)

So getting through the first chorus is hard enough when BOTH my bias and bias wrecker are up in front doing that provocative shit and I was so conflicted on which one to stare at but I ended up staring at Soonyoung the whole time. 

And then in the second chorus when it’s just Jeonghan doing it and both me and my friend screamed so loud ugh the outfits were so perfect for this dance i wanted to D I E

And then it gets to the Part in the song yknow the “Ooohhhhh” part where they spin around and when it was Soonyoungs part to do that by himself. I don’t even have words for how that made me feel. That image is in my mind forever. You know that meme thats like “you ever wonder whats going on in someones head?” well yeah its that for me

It’s just Soonyung doing that one dance move

okay moving on Ive talked about this enough

My I was right after and I’d never seen the dance to that either and it was really beautiful and cool like idk how to describe it. It was like a very romantic type of dance and Jun and Minghao had such great chemistry on stage together they really blew me away

OKay now imma freak out some more bc Vocal Unit performed Habits. I actually recorded this whole song so I wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening on stage bc they were all just standing there with mic stand anyways. I was enjoying the audio and their lovely vocals. (Again, Jihoon really exceeded my expectations in this song. Like for some members like Dokyum and Seungkwan I know theyre gonna sound great and its not like I didn’t for the rest but I’m just still not over how good EVERYONE sounded)

So I’m enjoying them vocals and the song ends and my friend taps on my arm and points to her face and there are actual tears. This bitch really cried. At the time I was like “during Habits of all songs??” but i was so naive now I understand(I cried 2 days later listening to that song)

Hiphop unit then did If I which I remember 0 of I think I was still too shook from Vocal Unit

I just remember their little hip thrust dance and then immediately after was a ment and Soonyoung was mimicking HH units dance and giggling like an idiot and got the whole crowd to sing and dance to If I

“Ohh Toronto. Dancing good”

Then they were all arguing over which unit’s performance suited Toronto the best but then decided that they all did

And then Soonyoung dabbed

Too many times

Everyone also dabbed with him this group is a M E S S

And then they got Jeonghan to do Aegyo so he spun around and made a heart and said “Toronto I love you!” in the cutest voice possible I swear I’m in love with Jeonghans voice

And then Wonwoo did a cute little dance to which we all chanted ‘Go Wonwoo’ for and then Soonyoung dabbed

again

(It made Jihoon cringe every time)

Then Jeonghan tried to get Seungkwan to sing something and Boo was like ‘moVING ON” but he gave in and sang a bit of Hello by adele which was really nice. Like damn the acoustics in that theater were no joke bc its a theater (i assume) made for plays and stuff and him singing without any track sounded really nice.

And then they asked my boi Chan to dance so he started singing Billie Jean by Michael Jackson and doing the hipthrust dance and Seungkwan ran over like ‘nOO”. But Chan just kept dancing and singing and having a good time and being w i l d  to which Seungcheol cracked up at. He literally fell on the floor laughing

And they kept going on about how this was a totally special stage for Toronto, “only for Toronto”

So then they went on to say they were gonna perform a very “hot” song next and my clueless ass was like ‘Don’t wanna cry?’ but naw it was ROCK which I only recorded part of bc the lighting was bad and my phone sucks

But okay I can just say that Wonwoo’s voice sounds 10x deeper in person. If you thought his rap was really deep in that song, wait until you hear it live. For a long time Wonwoo was my favorite rapper in kpop and I think hes regaining that title he was very good the whole night and I really like his deep voice

and then they did Chuck which was SO AMAZING HOLY CRAP

I love that song sm in the first place but I love it even more now upon seeing and hearing it in person. I recorded a bit of that one too and love it i watch that video like 3 times a day

So then they had another short Ment where they taught us the dance to Chuck and Soonyoung doing the “brrrr” part was so adorable I wanted to die. (I feel like Im talking about Soonyoung a lot but im just so glad he was able to perform in Toronto ilysm)

So then Vernon was like “I actually have some bad new for yall” and all the members were like ‘whaaat??’ and pretending to be shocked

So Vernon goes on: “The next song is actually the last song for the night” and Soonyoung made this fake crying noise and then dabbED LIKE 5 TIMES

That was when he went over to Jihoon and dabbed right in front of him and then was like “Oh my god our last song?”

and then Vernon being the cheeky ass that he is was like “Yeah and I really dont wanna cry about it” and then him and Soonyoung went to the back of the stage to “cry” and all the other members were “crying”

Then Vernon came back and like “I wonder what our next song is tho? Hm????” and im like really bitch

So Soonyoung yelled ‘are you ready’ a few times and then they performed Don’t Wanna Cry which was INCREDIBLE 

They were all in perfect sync like im seriously amazed. These boys probably have to practice day and night to get dances like that. It was amazing

So the boys left the stage for a bit and there was a another vcr which was of all the member explaining what carats were to them and it was really sweet and my friend cried again (she cried like 3 times that night) and I died at Jihoons bc there was this short clip of him and hes just so darn cute

so they came out again and performed Shining Diamond but were wearing casual jeans and half were wearing blue shirts and the other half were wearing pink shirts and Soonyoung looked so good in that outfit bc his shirt was tucked in in the front and his hair was just so great

anyways they all looked like they had fun performing that song and Soonyoung was yelling as usual and there was one part of the dance that was super satisfying bc all the colors of the shirts lined up and it was just really nice to look at. 

And then they performed Healing which we had special banners to hold up during. There was one part I remember bc I couldnt see bc everyone was holding their banners above their heads, but Seungcheol jumped onto Mingyus back and koala hugged him for a good minute and a half and Mingyu kept trying to get him off and Seungcheol just smiled like an idiot and latched on. Eventually he got down and then grabbed his water bottle and dumped half of it onto the people in the front(splash zone)

So once that song ended, Toronto Carats had actually prepared something special for Seventeen. So certain seats had a red board on it that you would hold up after Healing ended but only so many seats had them so it made a message in the crowd and I think it was just 2 hearts and ‘1 7′ and the members looked really surprised like Vernon and Minghao were next to each other and were like :O

Seungcheol and Jeonghan looked really shocked too, overall none of them expected it

So then the goodbye ments came and I was ready to die as soon as they started. They all said the similar kind of thing like “we had a good time we’ll come again soon ect…” 

But Minghao’s was all in english and it was the cutest damn thing i have ever heard in my life. He started out with “Today I am so happy because of our Toronto Carats energy.”

and then says the cutest shit ever: “We are like friends. We look after each other and love each other” He also kept looking over at Vernon to make sure he was saying it right

and then he said something like “we care for each other” and the fkcigingf df went “and everyone, don’t be sick. Always be happy okay?” IN LIKE THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE I WANTED TO SCREAM I MEAN I PROBABLY DID BUT STILL

and then I only remember Chan saying something like “We’ll be back soon, and when we are you have to promise that you’ll come to our show” and then Soonyoung and Seungcheol held out their pinkies for us to promise them and I held my pinky bc I damn promise if they come to Toronto again I will be seeing them for sure. Or I’ll try my best anyways

and they all gave us hearts and said they loved us and did a bow and then all had to leave the stage and I almost cried;;

I remember Soonyoung was the last to leave the stage bc he kept waving and saying goodbye

Also I remember a person sticking their hand out one last time and it was kind funny bc I just see this random hand pop out for like a split second. I didn’t know who it was at the time, but I later found out it was Dokyum :3

So yeah, he’s not my bias, but Soonyoung made my night

Anyways. I’m still having post-concert depression. Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to another seventeen song again without crying. All in all, it was one of the best nights of my life and if it wasn’t for my best friend who bought the tickets and surprised me with them and her mom who drove us up the whole long way. Highlight of my summer. 

Netflix’s Death Note: Cont’ Chat Logs

After a brief intermission I end up just “liveblogging” my reactions to aiko (matt-chan). I tried to cut out any filler and make this as cohesive as possible while also not spoiling much. Under cut because this is also long.

[8/25/2017 5:25:24 AM] ryuzaki: i was originally gonna watch this then watch it again and write notes but idk if i can watch this more than once [8/25/2017 5:25:34 AM] matt-chan: Dud3 i prob can [8/25/2017 5:25:51 AM] matt-chan: Its so bad but i keep watching - [8/25/2017 5:38:23 AM] ryuzaki: if watari is the chubby japanese man can i just say [8/25/2017 5:38:29 AM] ryuzaki: him and L saved me [8/25/2017 5:40:18 AM] ryuzaki: oh shit nevermind watari lookin weird but at least they got the inventor part of him right - [8/25/2017 5:45:08 AM] ryuzaki: they made L messy? i dont understand [8/25/2017 5:45:17 AM] ryuzaki: I like him except for that fact - [8/25/2017 5:46:24 AM] ryuzaki: [goes back to light n mia] i forget why did i hate them [they immediately speak] oh Thats why - [8/25/2017 5:49:02 AM] ryuzaki: also ive been laughing at how accurate the watari giving soichiro(?) an ice cream cone is [8/25/2017 5:49:07 AM] ryuzaki: thats literally the best part of this [8/25/2017 5:49:14 AM] matt-chan: WATARI IS THE BEST [8/25/2017 5:49:47 AM] ryuzaki: him and L save this. they arent perfect but if they were the star of the show id watch it and be able to stomach it [8/25/2017 5:51:51 AM] matt-chan: Yes - [8/25/2017 5:54:23 AM] ryuzaki: Light and L dont have any interaction before this newscast.. Light doesnt even know who he is (soichiro never even mentioned him and it was alluded to that L isn't very well known to even law enforcement) why was light so angry? why would he care about who this was? [8/25/2017 5:57:00 AM] ryuzaki: oh okay they ask about him after...... but i still dont get why they chose this route..? did mia know who he was? it wouldve been better shot if he was watching the news to write more people down and all the channels got interrupted by the conference. [8/25/2017 5:59:56 AM] ryuzaki: the importance of the scene in the manga was that L realized he had a pattern of when he killed people and made sure his broadcast was on during the time light would be watching the news, then to prove his name/face theory he put lind L taylor up on the screen with his full face and name revealed and made him kill him, only for L to start talking and direct his message towards light then (with only the L logo and a voice changer broadcasting), taking an educated gamble on if light could kill whoever he wanted without those two things. [8/25/2017 6:00:03 AM] ryuzaki: im hung up on this scene........................... but anyway - [8/25/2017 6:00:26 AM] matt-chan: Im just mad about L not having a voice changer [8/25/2017 6:00:41 AM] ryuzaki: YEAH that was so odd.... - [8/25/2017 6:01:18 AM] ryuzaki: light isnt even light

[8/25/2017 6:02:57 AM] ryuzaki: like him and mia arent even relatively close to their original characters so it feels like im watching two people named similarly but otheriwse have no connection. part of me hates them but the other part of me is like "lol well why are you even mad, they basically just made a new spinoff character" [8/25/2017 6:04:15 AM] matt-chan: I have a feeling this will end differently [8/25/2017 6:04:21 AM] matt-chan: They cut a lot of the story already [8/25/2017 6:04:29 AM] matt-chan: Its just a summary /spin off [8/25/2017 6:05:56 AM] ryuzaki: they havent really went into the detail of lights stradegies.. like theyre talking about light going quiet because raye penber(?) is following them and say not to fuck around with the dn but that would be obvious.......... thats one of the main things theyd be looking for [8/25/2017 6:06:24 AM] ryuzaki: nowhere in this story have they shown their light as smart besides doing basic algebra in the first two minutes [8/25/2017 6:06:37 AM] ryuzaki: also true i was thinking honestly L may win [8/25/2017 6:06:46 AM] ryuzaki: Like be alive and win - [8/25/2017 6:07:08 AM] matt-chan: No [8/25/2017 6:07:20 AM] matt-chan: This movie is finally finished for me I am Livid (note: not done with the movie. at a particular scene with Watari) - [8/25/2017 6:07:20 AM] ryuzaki: i dont think the wammy boys are in this tbh. with the whole not being able to see ryuk they already took away a large chunk of the ending [8/25/2017 6:08:33 AM] ryuzaki: wheres rem. wheres my saving grace girl - [8/25/2017 6:09:30 AM] ryuzaki: mia: i was the right one, not you light, the smart one: oh fuck lol [8/25/2017 6:10:24 AM] matt-chan: HAHAHAHAHAHA [8/25/2017 6:10:28 AM] matt-chan: “theres so many fucking rules” [8/25/2017 6:10:44 AM] ryuzaki: they really show that these are kids. like....... "i was thinking we could make some popcorn and write some names down" like........... do you want me to take this seriously.......... theyre like 12. they arent trying to change the world theyre just some kids who thinks killing people is fun. - [8/25/2017 6:11:58 AM] ryuzaki: also all i can imagine is lights dad walking in the door at some point and wondering why the house occasionally is littered with apple cores - [8/25/2017 6:13:25 AM] ryuzaki: ohh so she took the death note im guessing [8/25/2017 6:13:47 AM] ryuzaki: my issue is how did she get the names????? [8/25/2017 6:14:37 AM] ryuzaki: im waiting for this movie to end without ever knowing how L dies because they just kill him without revealing his name/how they found it [8/25/2017 6:15:32 AM] ryuzaki: he blames ryuk.. why would ryuk do this.. [8/25/2017 6:19:20 AM] ryuzaki: i... dont get this movie at all... there is so much to talk about... so many issues... why would L be out in public during this time, why is ryuk the bad guy, why is light so emotional, why is light so STUPID (yet considered smart in the story?) - [8/25/2017 6:20:04 AM] matt-chan: I am upset [8/25/2017 6:20:05 AM] ryuzaki: why would soichiro go out in public and do this... is this how they find out who kira is? because he wont kill his dad? the real light would kill his dad [8/25/2017 6:20:08 AM] matt-chan: I am. More livit [8/25/2017 6:20:17 AM] ryuzaki: im so fuckin worried by that [8/25/2017 6:20:40 AM] ryuzaki: i feel like youre hard to get angry with this kinda thing - [8/25/2017 6:21:00 AM] matt-chan: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [8/25/2017 6:21:07 AM] matt-chan: IM IN TEARS BUT [8/25/2017 6:21:09 AM] matt-chan: IM SAD [8/25/2017 6:21:11 AM] matt-chan: AND LAUGJING - [8/25/2017 6:27:40 AM] ryuzaki: why did L show his face and make an incredibly public scene while talking about kira..... its not as bad as the rest of the things in this movie but its still questionable. if they werent making a scene about kira id let it pass - [8/25/2017 6:29:12 AM] ryuzaki: WATARI ISNT HIS REAL NAME YOU FUCKING IDIOT - [8/25/2017 6:30:29 AM] matt-chan: I finished it (note: now she means the movie) [8/25/2017 6:31:07 AM] ryuzaki: he didnt even have him call a burner phone. if L finds the notebook wouldnt this be even more damning evidence that light is kira (that is, if he doesnt burn the page) [8/25/2017 6:31:12 AM] ryuzaki: dont spoil please - [8/25/2017 6:34:29 AM] ryuzaki: nnnnnn [8/25/2017 6:42:03 AM] ryuzaki: ohhhhhhhh the normal people scare me in his locker with the ahs font im So Embarrassed. - [8/25/2017 6:43:01 AM] ryuzaki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo (note: my reaction to the same scene with Watari) - [8/25/2017 6:45:51 AM] ryuzaki: oh how interesting they DO say how she does it with the fbi task force [8/25/2017 6:46:31 AM] ryuzaki: HOLY SHIT..... MIA IS EVIL.............................. [8/25/2017 6:46:45 AM] ryuzaki: "THERES SO MANY FUCKING RULES" [8/25/2017 6:48:57 AM] ryuzaki: omg i hope he ends up dyingggggggg i hope she does too - [8/25/2017 6:49:59 AM] ryuzaki: L Cant Fuckin Drive - [8/25/2017 6:50:48 AM] ryuzaki: apparently this is the version of death note where everyone has Too Many emotions [8/25/2017 6:52:43 AM] ryuzaki: also this is so fucking stupid the chase is making me laugh why did they do this - [8/25/2017 6:54:00 AM] ryuzaki: OHHH DUDE I HATE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS [8/25/2017 6:54:11 AM] ryuzaki: WHAT A CHEAP FUCKING TACTIC (note: a scene with light and L) - [8/25/2017 6:57:57 AM] matt-chan: Bahahaha [8/25/2017 6:58:03 AM] matt-chan: The song they played on the ferris wheel (few minutes later) [8/25/2017 7:03:34 AM] ryuzaki: AHAHA THE SONG [8/25/2017 7:05:35 AM] ryuzaki: OH THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID - [8/25/2017 7:02:14 AM] ryuzaki: is the moral of this story that you should never trust high school romance..... cause thats what im getting - [8/25/2017 7:09:02 AM] ryuzaki: i like how he was i guess in a coma and his dad comes in and doesnt fucking care he woke up [8/25/2017 7:09:14 AM] ryuzaki: like hes just awake n his dads like [shrug] - [8/25/2017 7:15:41 AM] ryuzaki: okay so it just ended and honestly the only issue with the ending was not knowing if L wrote Lights name down [8/25/2017 7:16:06 AM] ryuzaki: just because its like. Well i dont fucking know what he'd do, your L and the original L end up very different at the half way mark [8/25/2017 7:16:34 AM] ryuzaki: but if they kept things completely new like they did near the end i think it wouldve been interesting [8/25/2017 7:17:32 AM] ryuzaki: the main issue is that i couldnt enjoy it because it was clearly labled as a reboot to the original story, and not another one that happens in the same universe as the death note one (where the death note exists that is) [8/25/2017 7:18:39 AM] ryuzaki: if they had made a whole new story and just had the death note in it and new people, maybe at the most keep ryuk in if you really want a reoccurring character, it would be not great but a fun watch

ALMOST 101 thought-comments on ep 3 of Produce 101 S2

1.      They are showing the kids journals and practice things. I feel so so sorry for people who have trained for like…. 5 yrs and still cant debut its fucking DEPRESSING

2.      Everyone are talking about how they wanna get to A and nowwwwww they’re revealing the new grades I’m gonna be SAD

3.      Bunch of good kids downgraded to F including Ren and Guanlin and Jinyoung poor boy cant look up from the ground I am REAL SAD BOI

4.      ENTIRE YUEHUA FAM IS D RANK NOW I AM SO FUCKING SAD AAAAAAHHH ALL OF MY KIDS

5.      MINHYUN WENT DOWN TO D I AM SO SO SO SO SAD A G H ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE DOESN’T DO WELL UNDER PRESSURE

6.      K-TIGER BYUN HYUNMIN GOT FROM F TO C AND ENTERED WITH A FLIP WOOOOO

7.      TAKADA KENTA GOT TO B MY DUDE they even said his Korean pronounciation is better than some of the other trainees I’m so PROUD

8.      JR GOT TO B MY BOY MY BOY MY BOY MY BOY IM SO PROUD MY BEAUTIFUL WARTORTLE SON IM SO SO PROUD AHH

9.      And now he says he was too sad about Ren and other NU’EST members who stayed at their grade or went down by one (Minhyun and Ren dropped a rank, Baekho stayed at D) to feel actually happy this is the fucking sad self sacrificing leader I know that boy would cut his leg off for NU’EST to get reciognized again

10.   HYUNGSEOB GOT FROM D TO A WHO HAS NO TALENNT IN SINGING? WHO?? NOT THIS BOY FUCK Y E A H THIS IS THE BEST THING

11.   Kim Taedong from the Vibe Label got from F to A holy fuckk

12.   WOOJIN AND DANIEL GOT BOTH UP TO A

13.   Seriously this is the best bromance of the entire season Daniel dotes on that kid so hard its so fucking cute

14.   They are announcing A grade reevaluations out loud??? Sounds scary ngl

15.   Entire original A grade stays at A grade this really is some hardcore aces all gathered together

16.   They are going to choose the first center now and no one really knew about it, the A ranks are gonna do a one minute performance/choreography within a hour and then everyone will choose a center from that

17.   Everyone are like what on earth do I do right now within a hour

18.   First is Daniel my pink boy who has THREE CATS!! Important information yes anyways hes rapping from a paper and i

19.   Noone pays attention to BNM Park Woojin poor kiddo ppl are like ‘the not Daehwi from BNM’ ‘The other Woojin’ but now he came out and HE DANCED SOS WELL AND RAPS SO WELL WTF DUDE HIS DANCE IS REALLY GREAT WHY WASN’T HE PICKED

20.   Another BNM rarpper kid, Im Youngmin, who rose from B to A but his nerves got the better of him

21.   Soooooooooo many rappers in A rank holy damn

22.   HYUNGSEOB SMALL NERVOUS KID

23.   He apparently had major problems with the time limit and messed up real bad and said he was sad as well I am sad too poor kiddo

24.   Now it’s the kid who came from F to A. He started clapping and everyone did it with him but he FORGOT HIS DANCE MOVES POOR KID AND PPL STILL CHEER FOR HIM IM GLAD

25.   Now it’s time for the little Woojin

26.   HOTSHOT SUNGWOON!!!!!!! His vocals are soooo good goddamn

27.   Other vocally talented kid, Kim Sungri ended with a damn flip

28.   Dance kids Noh Taehyun (IMPORTANT) and Ong Sungwoo

29.   And now the two mains, Samuel and Daehwi lol

30.   Daehwi went off from others and is kinda hiding because he doesn’t want others to know what he’s doing lol

31.   Samuel does some fast rapping and then a really neat and sharp choreo

32.   Daehwi aka the one who wins this im rlly anticipating this ngl

33.   Hes doing the og Pick Me song for I.O.I with really cheesy aegyo lol and I mean its cool but…….. BNM WOOJIN SHOULD’VE WON I don’t even stan that kid but he was sooooooo good

34.   The two candidates for center are Daehwi and the little Woojin

35.   They are now practicing for the big stage

36.   Why blur out the center lol we all already know it’s Daehwi

37.   Ren is so in distress it’s SAD lil boy went out to cry I love him so much gdi he’s more than a pretty face APPREACIATE HIM

38.   And roll the same stage ive seen a bajillion times lol they didn’t even bother switching out the individual shots of kids

39.   JUSTIN AND KENTA LOOK SO GOOD IM SHOOK

40.   I don’t know if it’s the flaw of my laptop but the thing I’m watching this from has such bad and laggy audio rip

41.   I’m really glad they showed that Kim Youngjin kid who was completely edited out from the first two episodes and overall just a bunch of shots of F graders it makes me happy

42.   Now it’s time for the group battle thing and unlike last season with a 1000 vote benefit its fucking 3000

43.   Everyone under the 61 rank will be dead

44.   The evaluation songs are 2PM-10 out of 10//Beast-Shock//BTS-Boy in Luv//Seventeen-Mansae//EXO-Call Me Baby//INFINITE-Be Mine//SHINee-Replay//Super Junior-Sorry Sorry

45.   Totally unrelated to the stuff going on there rn but I’m super excited to see the Infinite performance I fucking LOVE Be Mine and it’s choreo

46.   The teams get chosen by randomly drawn trainees, first is Daehwi because, yano, center

47.   He takes Hotshot Sungwoon, Brave Samuel, Maroo ent Jihoon, Cre.Ker Haknyeon, C9 Jinyoung, Yuehua Euinwoong AKA the kids that are popular/choosing for popularity not ability lol no hate to any kids I love them but I mean… you know lol

48.   Next is Minhyun, He chooses individ. Kim Jaehwan, MMO Kang Daniel, YGk+ Kwon Hyunbin, Fantagio Seongnwoo and NU’EST JR

49.   They don’t know the other teams in that detail rip

50.   The last kids, 5 F ranks and one D rank make up the last team sighs poor leftovers

51.   Now they’re gonna race for the songs, one B rank redhead is going to run barefoot, I don’t know his name but I’M ROOTING FOR HIM NOW U GOT MY VOTE

52.   Unlike last season, only half of the trainees can get a song they want, the first one to get back with their song gets it, later the ones who made it back first get to choose their opponent from the slower ones

53.   Omg the barefoot B rank is SO FAST I’m just gonna link it here because I cant get a good screenshot just click on this entire comment it’ll open in a new window

54.   Minhyun tried to get Boy in Luv but Daehwi was few seconds faster it is SAD TIME

55.   The fastest in the race gets to choose an opponent first, the slowest last.

56.   Fastest team chooses the leftovers team as their opponent

57.   Minhyuns team gets chosen last bc theyre so hardcore

58.   Omgggg Justin, Zhu Zheng and Ren are all in the Replay group this is HEAVEN

59.   Their rival team with A.Tom, MMO Taewoong and Jaehan are all more intimidating looking guys who really don’t fit the Replay softie concept and they are in despair sighs goddamnit Zhu WHY DID U CHOOSE THEM U ASS

60.   ANYWAYS now to other teams, one team got Infinites Be Mine and wow one of the dudes, Im Youngmin from grade A knows the full choreo and says it’s easier than the Nayana choreo

61.   The first team just discovered that Sunggyu sings 90% of the song and see who gets to sing it

62.   Part goes to FNC Yoo Hwiseung who has such an amazing high note everyone stare at him

63.   WOODAMMMM AND HIS GR8 VOICE he’s gonna get the main vocal part to Mansae everyone are sooooo hype

64.   This is the leftover team who goes against the Woodam Mansae team and they don’t have any good vocals sighs this is so sad poor little kids this is so depressing I just want everyone to do well

65.   Beast Shock team 2 only trainees I know is Donogsu from S.How and that’s it rip

66.   Team 1 has one of the D grade YGk+ kids and Minhyuk who ranked last during ep 1 andddd I don’t know others annnnnnnnnd that group isn’t getting shit done they just play around and don’t get anything decided sighs

67.   The avengers team has Baekho’s team as their opponent

68.   Team 2 has Kim Sangbin from grade A as their salty leader aahahah

69.   Fun fact when I first heard shock I thought they said ‘chug’ and I never really bothered to check it until my Beast biased friend called me out lool he doesn’t think they fit the manly man image for Boy in Luv

70.   BAEKHO STEPPED UP AND SAID THAT THEY HAVE GOOD DANCERS LIKE SAMUEL AND JIHOON PLEDIS FAM ISN’T DEAD

71.   ‘Since they are all popular they are gonna fight over the center position’ aahahah FUCK he’s right they are doing excactly that

72.   JIHOON ACTED WITH BIG BANG???????? WHAT??? W HA T ???

73.   Jihoon became the center that’s what happens when u act with bigbang

74.   JINWOOS TEAM HAS CALL ME BABY he’s the second to last chosen team sighs but he’s with the shy kid Dongbin, Han Minho and pink haired Seokyu with that scandal of him getting beaten up ugh poor baby

75.   Anyways that group has a dance off for the center position and even though most preferred Minho they didn’t say it out loud so Dongbin got it but… he isn’t too good with singing rip

76.   The other Call Me Baby team has Moonbok and everyone are kinda thinking that this team will win just because of him lmao

77.   But Moonbok has major problems learning the choreo so hes both their strong and weak point

78.   SORRY SORRY TEAM 1 HAS HA MINHO and also Kim Namhyung and Cube Yoo Seungho making them decently a strong team unlucky enough to go against Minhyun’s

79.   MINHYUNS TEAM AKA DREAM TEAM THANK U MINHYUN FOR CREATING THE TRUE AVENGERS

80.   Sungwoo said that JR gave leader vibes from the moment he saw him and everyone agree

81.    JR is beating himself up again about becoming the leader I’m so sad if this group is not gonna do well he will take it so bad I’m scared to even think about it

82.   Hyunbin suggests Sungwoo and Daniel for center, Daniel says it’s the best for Sungwoo and everyone agree and Sungwoo fake ugly cries and it’s beautiful I’m so glad my team is friendly

83.   10 out of 10 team has Jisung and Kim Taemin, Jisung gets called ‘artificial flavour’ lmao and Jae Chan becomes the Center

84.   The other 10 out of 10 team has Park Woojin from BNM as the leader and Hotshot Taehyun who actually can do the choreo hook. They also have Yuehua Hyungseob, GON ent Eunki and Yongbin whose ent I forgot but hes the one with the pretty nose lol

85.   Taehyun knows the choreo in another way from as it’s written down and it feels a bit heated

86.   The first team has problems doing the tricky chore but the second one gets it pretty well + they have the K-Tiger Byun Hyunmin so its easier for them

87.   First team has serious problems WHY DID THEY CHOOSE SUCH AN ACROBATIC RIVAL

88.   Now they’re preparing for their stage makeup and clothing and whatnot aaaaaahhh I’m so EXCITED everyone are looking so GOOD

89.   2PM 10 out of 10 teams are gonna go on now I’m SO EXCITED FUCK DUDE

90.   Jisung gets called the ‘master of facial expressions’ that’s a pretty lame name for the meme god

91.   Cut to the practice, team 1 is pretty fucking sad and their center Jae Chan makes mistakes with both singing and dancing

92.   Jisung gets praised for his dance and whatnot, Jae Chan asks for more timie to practice, the rest of the team shut him down and make Jisung the center

93.   This choreo is pretty gay ngl and the song is GREAT

94.   They threw confetti on themselves lmaoo

95.   ONE OF THEM DID A BALLET TWIRL SO CUTE

96.   Team 2 is veeeeery ambitious but Hyungseob is having problems with lyrics

97.   Park Woojin and Taehyun are having problems bc Woojin is the leader but Taehyun leads more and Woojin is sad aw

98.   People are crazy about team 2 lol poor team 1 2 has three A ranks and the k-tiger

99.   Ngl I liked team 1 more but I mean….. 2 flashed abs and flips so they are def gonna win sighs

100.   Can’t believe Park Jihoon is gonna sue Ahn Hyungseob for winking

101.   Lmaoooo Kim Taemin rated the other team 8.5/10 for their performance, Hyungseob said the first team was 8.4/10

102.   It just hit me I wont see like half of my kids again ever after this wow now I’m fucking sad fuck you mnet

103.   SOMEONE CALLED JISUNGS NAME AND THAT BABY STARTED CRYING AAWWHH ‘I was reciognized by someone’ FUCKING CUTE

104.   Oh my god they are revealing the results now I am SADDDD

105.   HYUNMIN SCORED OUT JISUNG I AM SAD

106.   HYUNGSEOB GOT 163 VOTES??? WHAT THE FUCK???????

107.   TEAM 2 WON???? BUT THEY ONLY HAD TWO PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT THE VOTES IN IM SO ANGRY TEAM 1 FUCKING DESERVED THIS AAAAAAGHHHHHH

108.   3000 votes is so much that’s so fucking much

109.   Anyways this was sad 

110. FALSE ALARM FALSE ALARM THIS ISNT OVER I JUST DISCOVERED THE CALL ME BABY CLIP THAT WASN’T UPLOADED BEFORE AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH SAVE ME

111.   Anyways 111 what a gr8 number lets watch Jinwoo be amazing as he always is

112.   Team 1 center is ‘age doesnt matter’ Hyunwoo and he just got scolded by Kahi

113.   Team 1 has Moonbok and Hyunwoo, team 2 has Jinwoo so who’s the real winner here

114.   Kahi lets two other members, Donghan and Woncheol to try out for the center position, Donghan does really well, Woncheol not as well. Hyunwoo apparently looks too strong and ‘not sexy’ in the center position loool

115.   Donghan becomes the new center and Hyunwoo cries poor kiddo ugh 

116.   Moonbok has an energizing effect on everyone ngl its cute lmao he also hides behind Hyunwoo while riding piggyback and pops out during one moment aahahahahah

117.   Aaaaaaaand its STARTING shit son the harmonies are nice, their main vocal is REALLY good and Donghae does amazingly as the center

118.   I mean Moonbok energizing others and being enthusiastic is cute but they are overhyping him a loooooooot

119.   Ok but... let me see Jinwoo... pls... THERE HE IS IN AN OVERSIZED PLLAID KINDA THING

120.   Apparently this team was pretty problematic while practicing and as far as I know they also 1) where the second to last to be chosen and 2) lost this competition ugh

121.    Their center, Dongbin doesn’t know his parts and is.... not good sighs I’m sad he also started crying

122.   Jinwoo has to do all the hard singing parts because he’s the only compentent vocal in the group and just..... ugh poor kid he is going to kill his voice I’m so so so so so sad

123.   LEZZ GO JINWOO IS SO GOOD PLEASE PPL PAY ATTENTION TO HIM 

124.   Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhahahah all the teachers are on the edges of their seats because of how those makeshift vocalists are doing

125.   If Jinwoo doesn’t make it though this evulation I’m going to be really, really, really, really, REALLY sad  

126.   Team 1 has only 2 positions that overdid team 2 positions but they still won bc Jelly Heeseok and Moonbok brought so many votes in. Jinwoo did alright though, not too good but alright

127.   Team 2 lost. Obviously. Ugh. I’m just... sad dude

now it’s really done and it was even sadder than I anticipated

ring me up when u wanna cry about p101 im always up for that 

Anonymous Comics Question

Long day at work, and just sitting here staring at a “How Can I Retire Right Away” spreadsheet I made.  According to my spreadsheet, I can retire in 5 years, provided that someone give me a small house 7.5 miles from where I work.  Any small house will do, provided it has bay windows and an adequate sex swing in the mud room-- any small house that befits a man of my stature.  Anyways, comics!  Let’s do the answer a question about comics thing...

I haven’t been paying attention this week.  Was there an implosion??  Let me take a look at the news...

(At the outset, i take implosion to mean something very specific--namely, massive and unexpected cancellations of titles, and scaling back of lines.  There was an implosion of titles famously in the 70′s, when Marvel and DC, you can go find ads or editorial talk-em-ups of books they had planned, but got cancelled.)(The stuff right before implosions, that’s usually a nice sweet spot if you’re digging through back issue boxes or torrents, especially in the 70′s one.  A lot of gems there-- the first Rich Buckler Deathlok, Mike Sekowsky’s entire career-- super-underrated, that guy, etc.)

Anyways, googling marvel cancellations, the #2 thing is a March 13, 2017 article that... something called Mosaic is getting cancelled...?  There was a comic called Mosaic?  “The Brand Corporation has made its move-- now what will Mosaic do?” ... that’s the plot of Tim Robbins’s The Cradle Will Rock!  (Terrible movie...).  Marvel’s got a superhero named Mosaic now...?  What kind of SJW Tumblr nightmares were they trying to sell to there...?  Comics are all trash people for years and then they get like a month of good news articles, and suddenly everybody’s Dead Mike from CB4...  Fucking funny...

Oh this is funny timing.  Look at this-- the Outhousers is saying... Marvel VP of Sales: “What we heard was that people didn’t want any more diversity.  They didn’t want female characters out there.”  Oooops.  

Annnnnd WHOOOOOSH back to the cornfield, women and minorities.  

I don’t know-- I thought Black Panther sold...?  But all I know about comic sales is whatever Brian Hibbs puts out and maybe stuff’s different elsewhere.  Beats me.  All the guys at my local shop, Kill Whitey Comics Emporium, they all vouch for it.  But I don’t really know what else has been going on-- just this vague sense that a couple things sold, Ms. Marvel or whatever, and that after that happened, everyone got all like “ACTUALLY, I WAS ON YOUR SIDE THE WHOLE TIME, MINORITIES” ala Pig Vomit and then suddenly like you’d be reading about the Hulk, and then Hulk would slowly turn to camera and be like “actually, the thing that makes me angriest is when white people like Jackie Chan too much.  Quit appropriating Jackie Chan Culture, whitey” and there’s an editorial next to it from Axel Alonso about how he’s “technically Korean” and Korea’s close enough to China to make that a very special issue for him, and also, Hulk’s not Bruce Banner anymore, he’s actually just 10 gay Armenian children stacked on top of each other wearing a raincoat, ala those Best Show quadruplets. So...

I can see how that wouldn’t have worked...? Especially now that Nazism is really back in fashion with white people.  Bad timing, I guess.  

(If I had to picture a mainstream comic person in my head, Marvel, Image, DC all those companies, I still just picture Pig Vomit from his last big scene in Private Parts, where he just shows up at the door after torturing Stern all movie, like “You’ve won!  You’re going to need a friend on the inside, and I’m going to do everything I can.”  That’s what it felt like when comics people started lecturing everyone around them on how they needed to be more woke, and how they just figured that out in their 40′s. Giamatti is so fucking magic in that role... If I have to picture an alternative cartoonist, I still just picture someone on a bus, wearing a bad hat, though...) 

I don’t know.  I mean, I just ... it’s just not my world right now.  Last comic I read was a scanlation of a comic about 30 year old women frustrated with their romantic options, called Tokyo Terababe Musume.  They only scanlated one chapter, but it’s one of those things where really middlebrow manga gets turned into a Japanese tv show.  I watch some of that show Midnight Diner on Netflix and that’s the same thing-- some comic based on folks crying while a dude cooks them eggs at midnight?  That sounds like my kinda thing, man, I don’t know.  I fucking love having eggs really late at night.  

Wow, listen to this-- Axel Alonso at some retailer summit:  “I know I've spoken with people who let's just say wish they hadn't launched an Image book this year, with the way the money got sucked out of the market, and all the rest."  Uhhh, wow.  Money got sucked out of the market???  SUCKED OUT?  Was it... was it like when Tom Cruise got sucked up into that thing at the end of War of the Worlds, and then he had to blow it up from the inside to save his kids?  That part fucking ruled.  I’m guessing it’s not like that...

That sounds bad...?  Are Image books all eating shit now too?  Huh.  I mean, I don’t read anything right now but if I did, I imagine I’d ... stare at that section of the store diffidently, and then grab some things that’d end up turning to dust over in a little wicker basket I keep over next to my black Santa Claus figurine.  Because that’s what’s been happening for a few years now... 

I mean, look, there’s no fucking culture there.  How do you sell cultural product to a vacuum-- what’s the point of a cultural product when there’s no culture?  Movies and TV and games all have cultures around them; shitty ones sometimes but.  Comics... nobody fucking cared about comics culture.  And it doesn’t exist now.  And then what the fuck do you expect to happen?

What else is going on... Peter David didn’t hire a good accountant, I guess?  That sucks.  Hope that works out for him.  IDW’s doing stories about George Takei’s time in internment camps... and the internment camps were filled with zombies!  That’d be a great twist.  Give in, IDW.  Go with it!  

... and... goddamn, all of these articles are about fucking TV shows or movies.  "Ken Watanabe in talks for Godzilla 2.” Thanks, Outhousers.  

That’s helpful comics news... but can you blame them? The culture is dead. And I mean, Ken Watanabe’s not going to call in because fucking someone gave his movie three starts and not four, so.  

OOooh, Paul Greengrass is attached to Torso though.  God, I hope that movie happens someday, not even so I can see that movie finally, so much as so Bendis can just tell the story finally of what it was like to get that fucking movie made because there’s no way that story isn’t fucking amazing.  That thing had a fucking greenlight with Fincher and an awesome cast before it got fucked... whatever happened must’ve been fucking crazy...

CBR has “15 indie comics that deserve the Netflix treatment.”  Cool-- I just won’t read any of them, and wait for Netflix to make a fucking TV show, and in the meantime, watch a bunch of other shows on Netflix.  Great.  

Maybe Doom Patrol got cancelled... annnnd who gives a shit...

One of CBR’s big stories is about a 1979 Flash comic... which i mean, that’s the only article yet I’ve been kinda like “I want to read that one.”  I still read about the comics, people’s blogs or ... I read Chad Nevett’s Thorsday Thoughts-- I don’t even read Thor comics, I just find that shit soothing for some reason.  But like... the kinds of discussions I always got excited about, just fucking dead. I mean, I guess all that was a lifetime ago, I guess.  

Haha Nick Spencer:  “Real talk: It's disgraceful seeing a bunch of web sites badly taking someone's words out of context in search of clicks.”  Rich Johnston calls that one perfectly:  “If it's real talk then don't subtweet."  That’s great.  “REAL TALK:  someone somewhere needs to something something.  Realest talk!”  

ANYWAYS... what was your question???

I’d definitely like to be reading Deathstroke right now-- Christopher Priest’s one of my dudes, reliable fucking guy.  And I guess I’d check out some Ennis stuff.  Last DC comic I read any of was ... I read a few Martian Manhunter’s at Wait What’s advice?  It was kinda a cute 2000AD thing but.  But. That was years ago.  After they started date raping girls at comic cons, I kinda lost the taste for DC comics... 

So yeah: I’m not seeing anyone talk about an implosion.  If you mean creatively, I don’t ...

I mean, I don’t know who the stars are anymore.  Names just show up but it’s not like... I don’t know who they are.  Or I have a vague idea who some people are, but they’re just mercenaries, right?  And not, like, Voices...?  The comic people and periods I care about, it’s because of people having voices.  Any of those out there?  Haven’t noticed.  Don’t hear about them if there are!  And you know, not looking for them at the moment, so wrong guy to ask... comics is always a “dig for gold” kinda thing, and I’m ... tired and you know, I got these Japanese videogames that suck up time fine if I need to suck up time. Those  Danganronpa scamps aren’t just going to solve all their shit without me, so.  

Anyways, here’s Marvels June 2017 solicitations... lets see what we got...

Some Nick Spencer crossover.  Nick Spencer-- started with some interesting books-- I caught on there super-early, like that thing he did with Marley Zarcone.  Tried to interview him after that Zarcone book-- sent him questions (shitty ones-- I’m bad at interviews), and then he ghosted on me, which I thought was a little impolite.  Only time I hear about him now, it’s that he’s being some kinda moron online.  He’s Marvel’s big name now though besides Bendis, right...?

Al Ewing’s on US Avengers.  His stuff’s okay-- Wait What guys are definitely fans, and I like those guys, so.  I was rude to him once online, but he was nice about it.  

I don’t recognize any of these titles and all of them are crossover tie-ins...

Huh, Niko Henrichon is drawing Doctor Strange.  That’s probably something to look at.  Dennis Hopeless-- I think he writes that Spidergirl comic I read sometimes-- works with good artists, anyways... I mean, that’s the whole job as a comic writer-- just working with the good ones...?  Everything else is kinda bullshit, at least with how I used to buy comics.  You got an artist, you’re in business; you don’t, good luck.  It’s weird there are people who go another way on that... It’s the easiest way to have a good time with the things...

All Cross-over tie-ins!  Holy shit, what is even going on here...??  

Bendis gets to make money on the Defenders netflix show, I guess.  He’s got a new series there.  He’ll put in the work, though.  You know?  His comics turn out how they turn out, which is... sometimes unfortunate, but that guy puts in the work.  Hard not to admire that.  On the other hand, Bendis on Iron Man:  “the truth about Doom’s reincarnated mother is revealed.”  Doctor Doom’s reincarnated mother??  Come on!  COME ON!

Huh, Sina Grace is on Iceman.  I think I have one of his autobio comics around here somewhere... Autobio guy, right?  Huh.  Is Iceman still gay...?  I can’t tell from the solicitations.  Oh wait, “totally comfortable in his own skin” = gay.

Goddamn, I wish there were a fucking implosion-- I just hit a wall of team books... oh my god, there are SO MANY COMICS here.  All these people need to be shown the door.  

They’re playing like shit isn’t selling because of the minorities???  Shit isn’t selling because Marvel doesn’t know who they are!  WHAT IS THIS BRAND?  There’s no way to get your arms around all this.  What fan can follow this?  There’s too many fucking books here.  Of course no one’s a star-- if you work in comics, they just hand you a title and then best of fucking luck, I guess.  This is fucking unbelievable.  I mean, something’s really gone wrong-- there’s no cohesion to this at all.  It’s just a fucking endless mess.  Good god, imagine being a retailer!  IMAGINE BEING A RETAILER! 

They have to take these, imagine what people will want and how many people will want it, and then order accordingly.  So when you throw this much shit at the wall, what the fuck does anyone expect them to do?  I’ve been doing this for a while and I’m not even halfway down this fucking list!!!!

Oh my god-- SCARLET SPIDER!  Drawn by Mark Bagley!  WHo the fuck would want that???  (Well, that’s probably a big hit, given how close I am to the pulse of things, but).  Holy shit.  Because in the 90′s, when Marvel overproduced before things fucking cratered, you could tell they were out of ideas because they got the fucking SCARLET SPIDER OUT THERE into the world, and that’s where everyone went “oh shit, Marvel’s fucked.” 

It was called the Clone Saga and people haaaated it.  Elmore Leonard said it in fucking Be Cool or one of those books-- if the story’s about clones, that means nobody knew what the fuck they were doing.  I got to write a comic once-- you know what I wrote about?  CLONES!  Because I’m not a writer and I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing!  

Bad omens, man...

HOLY SHIT THEY’RE BLAMING THIS ON THE MINORITIES!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT!

What else... Spider-Gwen-- is Robbi Rodriguez okay?  There was reports he was retiring or he was having a rough time of it-- I really hope that dude’s okay.  We met a couple times and then one time he walked up to me and I didn’t recognize him because I’m a bad person, and I was like “Hi, I’m so and so” and he was like “We’ve met several times before and also, why would you introduce yourself by saying you’re so-and-so. That’s not how introductions work.”  I always felt bad / still feel bad about that.  

I can’t keep looking at this.  I just got past 500 Spiderman-comics, and then just “SPIDER-MAN by Bendis.”  This is fucking crazy...

MOON GIRL AND DEVIL DINOSAUR?  Fuck you.

Black Bolt???  Motherfucker doesn’t talk!!!!!!!

I think I’m going in circles-- I swear to god, I just hit Ms. Marvel, and I’m pretty sure I saw Ms. Marvel before at least twice.  I’m going in circles.  IS THE BLAIR WITCH DOING THIS TO ME?  Am I stuck in one of those Blair Witch movies??????

Oh, Hawkeye-- I read one of those last year. I don’t remember having opinions about it.  It was like a detective thing though.  

Brian Stelfreeze doing covers for Black Panther-- I saw that Art of Stelfreeze book that Boom did the other day at Barnes and Noble?  Nice fucking package!  I love that guy’s art, but I don’t buy art books, besides those Kevin Dart books... they just become clutter real fast, you know?  But that guy, man, he draws like a motherfucker... 

 Squirrel-Girl made it to 21 issues.  I know people like that one.  Huh...

Kingpin-- is that the one by the 4 Kids Walk Into a Bank guy?  What happened to THAT comic?  That was the last thing I was really into but then it didn’t really come out much...

James Robinson’s doing Nick Fury-- they’re trying to ape Steranko for the covers, which man... everyone after Steranko apes him on the covers and I bet you a zillion dollars the interiors got nothing to do with the guy.  Like... I know people got pissy cause he’s a right wing guy now, but there’s a lot to say about what that guy did with those original comics, man, because it’s just...  but I mean, that was, what, 5-6 decades ago...?  They got no one else to homage with that character.  No one’s done it right since so who fucking thinks they’re going to...? 

I mean, there was a cultural thing going on that Steranko was boiling down though-- it was a comic of its time.  He was looking at what other people were doing and then doing that in comics.  But now, I see these character designs and it’s just people in jackets and t-shirts. I mean, you have to bring visual culture into the books... if it’s not going to be that, you’re just reading some generic spy shit, which ...

Vision Director’s Cut -- yuuuuuckkkkkkkkk.  I have a story there, but I can’t tell it yet, or I don’t know.  To be continued.

Oh, there’s Javier Rodriguez-- that guy fucking rules.  I like that guy...

Goddamn, am I even halfway yet????

the Unstoppable Wasp... jesus christ...

Becky Cloonan’s writing the Punisher...?  God.  I remember my buddy sending me her minicomics when she was just getting started.  There you go... i didn’t like her spaceship thing though-- too slow, no sleaze.  Probably “better” in trade.

Frazer Irving’s drawing Guardians of the Galaxy...?  That’s probably good looking, but could be better things he could draw.  One of my favorite interactions with a comics person of all time was Frazer Irving, but again, a story that’s probably not appropriate to tell... 

“I AM GROOT #2 by CHRIS HASTINGS and FLAVIANO.  Mary Jane Variant Cover by TBA.” 

...

“I AM GROOT #2 by CHRIS HASTINGS and FLAVIANO.  Mary Jane Variant Cover by TBA.”  

HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?  There’s not enough paper, motherfuckers.  There’s not enough paper!  How are they doing this every month and none of their offices have a bathroom???  Is this what happens when editors try to hold their pee in all day??  

I’d read a Bendis comic for old times sakes, but I wouldn’t shit on 99% of these writers in these solicits.

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD LISTEN TO THIS.I THINK I FOUND THE WINNER OF THE JUNE 2017 SOLICITATIONS.

LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!!!!!

“ NOVA #7 JEFF LOVENESS & RAMON PEREZ (W) SCOTT HEPBURN (A) Cover by Dan Mora • As Richard Rider struggles to come to terms with the revelations from his return to the Cancerverse, Sam Alexander struggles with homework, his family and (gulp) dating! 32 PGS./Rated T …$3.99″

WHAT THE FUCK?

RETURN TO THE CANCERVERSE!

RETURN TO THE CANCERVERSE!

Mother.fucker. Was this question a trap????  WAS THIS A TRAP?  What did I ever do to you?  Did I wrong you somehow?  Is getting me to look at this some kinda Cask of Amontillado shit cause I wronged you?  “A thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as best I could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge.”

I’m a nice I’m a  tolerable person.  I didn’t deserve this.

My head hurts.

They’re blaming this all on black people.  Hahahahahaha... oh my god, comics people are the most racist people ever.  

Im a huge fucking nerd

final LYRICS FOR ENDOLPHINS AND MC FOUCAULT EP Welcome to Kirby’s Memeland (MILLIPEDES FOR THE MOLEMEN) Got it so hot y'all give me standing ovations while I'm spamming the squat[1] like my whole family's Croatian if my dad's Jackie Chan[2] am I Hispanic or Asian? please understaånd this equation ()[3] me no panic just blazing at any random location i’m your romantic liaison killa Beys in formation[4] the doctor's[5] now handling patients I put the wots in tarnations[6] I put the spots on dalmatians I move the block with my cadence Now time just stops when i say shit But the beat goes on cause i made it Alex Strong[7] in the paint and Singing So Long[8] to fake friends We can roll out the Save ends[9] Y'all kittens tryin my patience I need to find an oasis Pass me that blunt and i'll face it Why y'all stuntin so basic? Im kinda something like LASIK[10] take your quirk and erase it[11] If there's something to say then I'm Malcolm Little and Dakin[12] Welcome to Kirbys Memeland[13] Im a giant herbing with green hands[14] Defiantly serving up steamed hams[15] Yo shuhei hold up i got remands[16] Misery[17] in the moment Missouri in the mornings[18] Mysteries in the motions Miss her seas in this ocean[19] (oh shit) ALL AT ONCE (HOW HARD JAMES HARDIN GOES WHEN HE GOES HARD IN THE PAINT) One day i’ll kill all the white men take back the land we’re missin[20] Im Diego's street art and they're banksy's vandalisms[21] Like the second coming of yeezus[22] and he's risen Built a religion for giant robots[23] called it animism[24] My flow is so fucking preposterous Patrol the land rarer than rhinoceroses[25] Get your heads out the sand yall lookin like ostriches Didn't kill the cat[26] but we checked it into hospice I know yr feeling that and baby one i got this My boys swing the bats like my last name was ausmus[27] Best rappers who aren't black you know i top the list prophets foretold my path (my birth) it was an (heavenly) auspice Imagine how hard james hardin[28] goes when he goes hard in the paint Well i go harder than that On my level you ain't I'm smart as The Bat[29] I'm like double your rank I just started to rap But the devil remains In the details im valued retail theyre resale[30] i'll continue my never ending quest to impress you[31] I’m obsessed with the things that pens do Allah bless this mess because i swear i intend to Decompress and recollect about fucked things that friends[32] do Parenthetically my memes are better than y’all’s Im aesthetically[33] hiding in vectors too small Interjecting my dreams while dissenting all leans[34] Exquisitely dining on minds here at the end of all things [35] We bout those movers and shakers We bustin loose of the matrix[36] I get my fruit at bodegas Im bound to move to NEW VEGAS[37] Matthew McConaughey (HARRY AND THE HUMAN CENTIPEDES) Another space time anomaly[38] An Interstellar[39] odyssey Alright alright alright Im Mathew McConaughey Im unfuckingstoppable the impossible possible The whole world's my hospital not a gd thing is inoperable[40] Credentials are laudable Essentially i got it all Took a look at the d And then called an audible[41] Obliterate any Obstacle Precipitate like waterfalls Instigate a kinder cause Evicerate a haunted ghoul[42] When i fucks with physics the laws get more lax my words carry weight like the world's biggest snorlax[43] Come at me son yr gonna need more VATS[44] carried this town[45] for So Long[46] im getting a sore back their love for me like a tree to the Lorax[47] My lyrics paint pictures so i call them a Rorschach[48] my bones are telling me bad weathers on the forecast a storm is rolling in this is the calm before that Past five centuries all of them regrettable[49] Just like entropy i am inevitable[50] I was meant to leave my head it was full Fundamentally i'm so far ahead of these fools Down five hennessy's trying just to deaden this pulse[51] Iron sentry's lining the edge of the mall[52] 100% dying to dismantle this wall[53] Johnny five empathy no disassemble this bot[54] Quintessentially im X at the head of this school[55] Intermittently you slept in my bed it was cool incidentally we had sex in the end of the pool Human centipede[56] that ass it was my edible[57] G.O.A.T. (NIETZSCHE DIDN’T KILL GOD, I DID) Like JD[58] I’m the GOAT[59] Billy[60] hashtag Swag[61]gert[62] Worlds most accurate fact checking rapper This is a game to me Chutes and ladders[63] Here's where the bangers[64] be girl you know i had ‘er My flow the yangtze[65] i spit venom black adders[66] Opposite of banksy[67] or some bullshit “all lives matter”[68] Fuck the president[69] that dude cant get any badder[70] Cooking up some poppy tea[71] mix it up like cake batter HEY DON'T LOOK AWAY DON'T LET IT GROW ON YOU IT'S NOT OK Engrave the following on my headstone: “They[72] died getting head stoned peepin Tombstone[73] While eatin a tombstone pizza[74]" I’ve gone full blown nietzsche[75] said hello to the abyss "it was good to meet ya"[76] Behind this mask's a terrifying creature[77] Who would gladly cook you up and eat ya Every track i’m on mc foucault's the feature Threat level dragon[78] when im hittin the road again Like shang tsun out here looking for some souls to bend[79] Other rappers words are last years memes im so over them Like neil in the 80s its the weight of the world im shoulderin'[80] Tho ive been there once couldnt tell you where denver starts and boulder ends[81] Rockin california fishes like them pennsylvania colder pens[82] I spit fire like dylon[83] and i left the studio smolderin Sitch is Dire like sylons you used to know as older friends[84] Minds expired with prions[85] when i take theirs skulls and open em Im entirely high on the spirit taking time up and folding it[86] unlike battery acid im so hella caustic[87] Such flattering assets with a tongue so toxic Made saturn's rings spin on a cosmic cross stitch My staggering spit it god agnostic[88] [1] “Why do Slavs squat?” is a satirical catchphrase associated with imageboards and forums discussing Eastern European people and cultures http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/why-do-slavs-squat-slav-squat [2] My dad and jackie chan are aging to look like the same person [3] I use medical marijuana to treat anxiety [4] Beyonce - Formation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDZJPJV__bQ [5] My initials are DRB and so many folks call me Doctor or Doctor B [6] “What in Tarnation?” is a rhetorical question meaning “what in damnation?”, which is often associated with Americans living in the Southern United States expressing incredulous bewilderment. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/what-in-tarnation [7] Drummer of Endolphins and one of the progenitors of this particular beat [8] So Long is my queerpop band SoLongNaota.Bandcamp.com [9] A saving throw in D&D http://dnd4.wikia.com/wiki/Saving_throw [10] Corrective laser eye surgery [11] Boku No Hero Academia character Shota Aizawa “eraser head” who’s special power is erasing others’ special powers http://bokunoheroacademia.wikia.com/wiki/Shota_Aizawa [12] Church of The Three Cats is at the corner of Malcolm X (born Malcolm Little) and Dakin in Lansing, Michigan [13] Gamboy title Kirby’s Dreamland but with memes [14] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Giant but with Weed [15] Simpsons shitpost classic http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/steamed-hams [16] Once I beat magic the gathering hall of famer Shuhei Nakamura in a Grand Prix with a timely remand [17] The first Endolphins release was called North of Misery as a nod to their being in Iowa [18] In 2015 I toured with Endolphins and had two amazing mornings in St Louis, s/o to KPAX and calcifer [19] Sometimes you meet someone who forever changes the way you think about things like water, and then you drown in thoughts never actually able to grasp anything completely again [20] im native as fuck http://www.corteidh.or.cr/tablas/24777.pdf [21] Artist Diego Rivera vs Banksy [22] Kanye West's ego messiah and eponymous album [23] giant robot anime trope for example: neon genesis evangelion, flcl, gundam... [24] Animism but with Anime https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animism [25] Rhino’s are near extinct everywhere https://www.savetherhino.org/rhino_info/rhino_population_figures [26] Slang for giving a person with a vagina multiple orgasms [27] Detroit Tigers skipper Brad Ausmus [28] James Hardin is a professional basketball Superstar [29] Comic book protagonist Batman [30] Price you get for selling an item new (retail) vs used (resale) [31] A certain person who since i have met has inspired most of my creative endeavors [32] See directly above [33] in a way that gives pleasure through beauty [34] biases [35] Comic book character Galactus, Eater of Worlds https://marvel.com/universe/Galactus [36] 1999 science fiction film The Matrix [37] 2010 video game Fallout: New Vegas [38] My favorite Star Trek trope [39] My favorite Matthew McConaughey film [40] See note #5 [41] In american football a quarterback will notice something about the defense and change the play at the line of scrimmage, this is called an audible [42] These are hearthstone cards [43] Snorlax is a very large and heavy pokemon that can only be moved by playing a special flute [44] Vault-tec assisted targeting system in Fallout video game franchise, the more skill points one has the more they can do in combat before an enemy reacts [45] I have been a pillar of the diy community in lansing michigan for 20 years [46] So Long Naota/Collective see note #8 [47] Dr Seuss character who is the protector of nature [48] The Rorschach test is a psychological test in which subjects' perceptions of inkblots are recorded and then analyzed using psychological interpretation, complex algorithms, or both. [49] Since Europeans have arrived on the shores of North and South America they have brought only misery and genocide [50] The second law of thermodynamics requires that, in general, the total entropy of any system can't decrease other than by increasing the entropy of some other system. Hence, in a system isolated from its environment, the entropy of that system tends not to decrease. [51] Drinking is a mostly self destructive behavior for myself and I tend to only do it when i wish to self harm [52] Episode 3 of the 1997 anime Beserk [53] Fuck borders fuck walls freedom is not possible when they exist [54] 1986 film Short Circuit about a robot that gains sentience and learns of death the term for which is dissassemble [55] Professor Xavier from the X-Men comics who runs a school for Mutants [56] 2009 Dutch body horror film Human Centipede tells the story of people sewn mouth to ass [57] Analingus [58] The Mountain Goats frontman John Darnielle or JD aka thrashkitten member of the sooper swag project [59] GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) is a term used in hip hop to talk about the best rappers ever [60] A billy is a male goat [61] #swag is a song by rapper GMCFOSHO who is a friend of mine [62] Jimmy Swaggert was a televangelist who was defrocked for multiple prostitution scandals [63] Chutes and Ladders is a metaphor for life. As such, it is arguably the most philosophical of all children's board games. Based on the ancient Indian game Snakes and Ladders. The historic version had root in morality lessons, where a player's progression up the board represented a life journey complicated by virtues (ladders) and vices (snakes). [64] Banger is a term for a particularly moving composition [65] The Yangtze is the longest river in Asia and the third-longest in the world. The river is the longest in the world to flow entirely within one country. [66] A venomous snake that lives in europe and east asia, also a nod to the lyric earlier about chutes and ladders (snakes and ladders) [67] “Some have criticised the "obviousness" of Banksy's work, and accused it of being "anarchy-lite" geared towards a middle class "hipster" audience.” [68] A slogan used to silence the #blacklivesmatter movement [69] Donald Trump [70] 1998 Arcade game Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja later ported to the Nintendo Entertainment System known widely for its intro cut scene in which the protagonists are asked if they are bad enough dudes to save the president [71] Poppy tea is any herbal tea infusion brewed from poppy straw or seeds of several species of poppy. For the purpose of the tea, dried pods are more commonly used than the pods of the live flower. The walls of the dried pods contain opiate alkaloids, primarily consisting of morphine. [72] I am non-binary and use they/them pronouns [73] 1993 Western Tombstone starring kurt russel and val kilmer [74] Very cheap frozen pizzas of dubious quality [75] Nietzsche claimed the death of God would eventually lead to the loss of any universal perspective on things, and along with it any coherent sense of objective truth [76] Nietzsche once said: “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” [77] Nietzsche also said: “All great things must first wear terrifying and monstrous masks in order to inscribe themselves on the hearts of humanity.” [78] 2015 Anime and Manga One Punch Man’s shout out to Neon Genesis Evangelion describing a monster that is a threat to multiple cities [79] 1992 Arcade Fighing game Mortal Combat’s main villain who stole people's souls [80] Neil Young's sleeper Weight of The World from his amazing foray into new wave on his criminally unheralded album Landing on Water [81] I visited colorado for the first time on tour with Endolphins and tho enjoyable it was mostly mountains and urban sprawl and legal weed [82] The 2016 battle for Lord Stanley’s cup between NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins and [83] Chappell show sketch about Dylon who thought he was the GOAT because “dylon spit hot fire” [84] Battlestar Galactica plot twist [85]Kuru is a very rare, incurable neurodegenerative disorder that was prevalent among the Fore people of Papua New Guinea. Kuru is caused by the transmission of abnormally folded prion proteins, which leads to symptoms such as tremors, loss of coordination, and neurodegeneration. Most people who develop it are cannibals [86] The quantum physics theory of time travel [87] Acids are corrosive and bases are caustic [88] God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it? — Nietzsche, The Gay Science, Section 125,

Seiko Oomori - kitixxxgaia - Review

If you’ve read this blog before, you probably have a pretty good idea of my completely unbiased admiration for Seiko Oomori and everything she does. “Unbiased”.

So let’s just get to it. Less than a year, by about two weeks maybe to be precise, Seiko Oomori follows up her critically acclaimed major sophomore album (fourth overall) TOKYO BLACK HOLE with something even bigger, even more political, even more honest, and even more ambitious. I’m going to start off by changing my previous opinion. TOKYO BLACK HOLE is like an 8.5 now. Stay with me, here now and buckle up; we’re going for a ride, my friends.

The same week the United States got unleashed with the marvel of Drake’s More Life – a notably emotional return to form that also doesn’t shy away too far from the newer territory Toronto’s first celebratory hero has been invading – Japan was hit with something similarly parallel. Seiko Oomori gave us her fifth album kitixxxgaia on March 15th. Just like Drizzy, Seiko has given us an equally emotional experience, that still covers her recent sounds while almost giving us a slight return to her punk roots save for the general lack of an obvious acoustic guitar in most of the mixes (though it’s worth noting that it’s still there, just buried in the mix; I’ll get to why such a jam-packed mix actually works in a minute).

It’s amazing to see that the west and the east were both delivered promising projects by two of their biggest masters of music and emotion. It’s amazing to see just how far some shitty kid from Koenji has come in just five years since her official debut PINK in 2012. It’s amazing to think that that’s six albums if you count PINK, seven if you count the mostly self-covering Pink Tokarev album of 2015, which was otherwise an off-year for everyone’s favorite singer to imitate.

The only word I can describe how kitixxxgaia sounds with is “big”. And several other adjectives. Maybe “gigantic”. Maybe “colossal”. It’s a fucking huge album, pardon my French. This is potentially Seiko’s first Ringo Sheena-level album (let’s just forget that SUNNY happened for a minute). There’s a lot of religious imagery and a heavy aesthetic. I’d highly suggest on your first listen, you watch the music videos for every song that has one. So start with the “Dogma Magma” video, then the “Hikokuminteki Hero” video, listen to “IDOL SONG” normally, then when “Gutto Kuru Summer” comes along, watch that video too. And so on.

kitixxxgaia is heavy in its use of a very specific aesthetic, which takes influence from Christianity (and a hint of Mexican-style Christianity at that), weddings, quite a bit of Dadaism, and it’s all absolutely drenched in shades of pink and lighter blues. It’s the kind of album that’s best to be experienced both by listening and watching, as I said before. There are heaps of promotional images that came along with the album and the original “holy trinity” singles that lead up to its release, and I’d suggest maybe even just looking through those around Twitter and wherever else you can find them (maybe I’ll compile what I can find and make a post later this week) while you listen to the songs that aren’t accompanied by music videos. It’s the kind of multi-media work that could induce a sensory-overload in someone with synesthesia, like myself.

Now before I even get into the music of it, I want to point out the name of the album itself. Just the name kitixxxgaia (say it in English how you want, I generally say “Kitty Gaia”), much like her lyrics, takes some wordplay. In Japanese, the word “kichigai” - short for “[anta no] ki ga chigaimasu”, though nobody would ever say it that formally - is essentially the closest the Japanese language can get to the level of offense that words like (cover your children’s eyes) “fuck” or “cunt”. It doesn’t mean the same thing, but it’s that sort of level of offense, though deeper seeing as Japan is culturally much more introverted than we are over here.

Kichigai could loosely be translated to “you’re fucking crazy, man; you’re out of your goddamn mind.” Not in like a “woah dude that’s a fucking siiiick tattoo of a wolf” kind of way, though. It’s an insult, not a term of endearment. Adding the “a” to the end, Seiko turns it into “kichigaia” (キチガイア). After a day or two, she officially changed the name to romaji, now calling it “kitixxxgaia”, censoring it (possibly for management, cultural, and radio airplay reasons, but we don’t know specifically) by making it English and with three x’s in the middle. This name, to me, holds two simultaneous meanings, again, much like her signature style of lyricism.

The “kiti” could be interpreted as “kitschy”, a word referring to style in poor taste, much like our girl Seiko’s aesthetic. The word “gaia” is the personification of our planet Earth in ancient Greek texts. So it’s a “Kitschy World”.

“kitixxxgaia” in its original meaning, “Crazy Fucking World”.

Now to the music: Seiko has never let us down with a strong opener, and this might be the most in-your-face, unexpected opener, titled “Dogma Magma”. “Come on up to the emotional stage!” she blurts out before a gong bangs in your face; the remainder of the measure in silence before another hits with a choir on top, just underneath a piano playing downward arpeggios, and below that, some intricate string work, each instrument holding its breath. After the four bar intro, we crescendo up to the main song. Enter a not-quite shibuya-kei type beat – syncopated and staccato-like drums underneath a jittery, major piano progression. Behind it all is Seiko’s voice distorted, seemingly having a conversation with God.

As the filter cuts off, Seiko enters with some of her most provoking, forward lyrics ever written: (rough translation by yours truly): "Once upon a time there was something other than [just] male and female. Once upon a time there was something other than [just] white, black, and yellow [people]. Once upon a time there was something other than [just] yes and no. These things had always always existed, but it was then instead decided that they didn’t [exist].” she sings, touching on the recently hot topics of gender, race, and consent.

She continues “When I opened my eyes I was Japanese. I’m a goddess but I’m too uncomfortable in this inconvenient body to go outside without makeup on.”, a clear reference to body positivity clashing with self-esteem issues, and likely even cultural pressure in Japanese society. “Dogma Magma” has cuts into a more punk style chorus, reminiscent of “Magic Mirror”. “What will you do during the revolution? Just one heart? Fuck you, fuck [you] all, because this is war!” There she is. That’s the Seiko we know and love.

Track three is of note because it sort of takes me back to when she used to advertise herself as an idol during the Zettai Shoujo era for extra shock value. A clever parody on idol music and culture, “IDOL SONG” could almost pass off as a generic denpa song à la Band Ja Naimon!.

“JI・MO・TO no Kao Kawaii Tomodachi” (roughly “JI・MO・TO’s Cute-Faced Friend”) is certainly one of her most out-there songs, with a catchy, sugary hook, an almost rap verse not too different from what she did with “Zettai Kanojo”. It’s light, it’s bouncy, and it’s really good. This whole album is really good. Good. Good. Good. Good. It’s good music (Cruel Winter, when? I need answers, Kanye!).

Speaking of rapping, two songs later, Seiko gives us the ultimate collab for this generation of J-pop. Much like Ringo Sheena and Utada Hikaru’s “Nijikan Dake no Vacation” (roughly “A Vacation For Just The Two Of Us”), “Chikyuu Saigo no Futari” (roughly: “The Last Two People on Earth”) opens up eerily, with a huge texture and an oozing sub bass that launches into this groovy, dark, rhythmic masterpiece. Seiko begins “Dora-chan, warmest welcome to the 21st century, where mass production has made humans more like robots. Justice is brought by violence, the death penalty is given immediately unless you’re cute.” Seiko is soon interrupted: “I’m being forced to be stupid, these frames in front of me are out of my league. Fuck you, guidance! In my head, I’m punk.” Is that voice DAOKO? You bet your ass it is, and she is spitting that truth all over this track.

God there’s so much more to cover for this album but I really don’t want to ruin too much of it by blabbing on. Up next, continuing with the album’s religious themes “Pink Methuselah” brings a familiar sound with a twist – once it kicks in, it’s very clearly Kenta Sakurai (ex. Izukoneko, current Maison Book Girl, TOKYO BLACK HOLE’s “SHINPIN” producer) behind the producer’s chair on this one, but unlike “SHINPIN” from Seiko’s previous album, it’s not just another Sakurai song. It’s very clear how much Seiko added on top of what he did, and it’s like the perfect blend of both of their signature styles.

The album also features a menacing, full-piano self-cover of °C-ute’s “Mugen Climax”, a song that Seiko wrote for the extremely popular Hello! Project group. Now, she’ll never avoid Ringo Sheena comparisons – after all, Oomori’s debut album Mahou Ga…’s artwork pays direct tribute to Sheena’s legendary 2000 album Shouso Strip’s artwork - but what hearing this self-cover (which makes °C-ute’s version almost unlistenable) makes me want is a self-cover album from Seiko once she garners enough writing credits, much like Ringo Sheena’s Utaite Myouri.

The thing here about kitixxxgaia is that the album finishes off differently depending on the version you have. There are three versions: Dogma, Karma, and Gaia. Every version comes with a second “disc” that’s a DVD/Blu Ray; Dogma comes with a live Blu Ray of ZEPP Tokyo stop of the Tokyo Black Hole Tour, Gaia comes with live audio of that same show as well as a DVD of all of the album’s music videos, and Karma comes with a live DVD of a few different shows from last year. Each version also has a key difference  to the main album – the final track is different.

As my personal recommendation, Dogma is the ideal version. Karma and Gaia finish off with new songs, but Dogma closes out with an acoustic re-recording of the Zettai Shoujo single “Kimi to Eiga” (literally: “Movie With You”). Since the closest thing we get to ‘acoustic’ on kitixxxgaia is “Mugen Climax” and “Orion Za”, this is a necessity to the album’s closure and really puts into perspective just how far Seiko has come since her humble beginnings.

The Karma song is called “Ramen no Hanashi” (literally “Ramen Conversation”) and the Gaia song is called “M”. “M” is another piano song, cutting in at just over 6 minutes. “Ramen no Hanashi” also does a similar job to “Kimi to Eiga”, being a full-acoustic track, and it’s a bonus that it’s a new song as well, so if you’re looking for a fully new experience or you’re not familiar with the Zettai Shoujo classic, maybe the Karma version is more for you. Either way, it’s a really nice way to end the album with some retrospect.

IDOL iS NOT DEAD gives kitixxxgaia a perfect 10/10. 11/10. Screw it. Whatever. It’s so goddamn good, just stop reading and go listen oh my god

Year In Review - Books I Read in 2018

Last year, I thought I was at the limits by reading 300ish books, mostly old Gutenberg stuff.  This year...kind of left that for dead, with 689 books or book-like things scratched off.  This is not merely 'way', but 'way, way' too many, and may have contributed to stagnation as an author in the middle of the year: what we read inevitably ends up setting the context for what we write, and the amount of Edgar Wallace and E. P. Oppenheim I read this year can't have been good.

To try and make sense out of these way too many books, I'm not going to post review snippets for each of them, or even the 50ish (less than 15%) that I unreservedly liked; instead, I'm going to go through and find something to say about every author I read at least three books from this year.  This is still going to be huge, but hopefully, it'll be more coherent huge, and less bad-huge.

A. Hyatt Verrill was an immense chore to read, astonishingly racist almost everywhere and completely up his own ass about branches of science he knew literally nothing about, but fighting through it, I managed to get a lot of close description of the Caribbean as it was in the early 20th century.  This isn't a recommendation of, really, any of his work, but more of a warning about how to be sure you know what you know -- that, and maybe establishing a full-privilege-people shoveling bureau to help recover any diamonds from similar shitpiles of the past for general use.  :\

Alfred J. Church never, as far as I read this year, put out a good book -- he was fatally tripped up by, to some degree, the expectations of his time and markets, and in another way, by not really understanding what fiction is and how it works.  I didn't have to read his crap to find this out, but it was faster than doing another lit class and I could do it while waiting for airplanes, so again :\

I read the first 30 of Arthur Leo Zagat's Doc Turner stories this year; in addition to being critical two-fisted pulps, they're also an object lesson in self-examination: Turner's whole deal is being the protector of the downtrodden new-Americans of Morris Street, but at such an angle that you can't help but notice who gets to be human and worthy under their hokey dialect and who doesn't.  This series was trying to be woke and progressive in its day, and where and how it fails at that should be a critical pointer for people trying, also, to lead the moment and hopefully not look grimy and problematic in another fifteen years.

I'd obviously read some Arthur Machen before, but doing a deep dive over his whole corpus this year was still a revelation.  A lot of his stuff is kind of far-corner weird, and it was really interesting to come back later in life and see the threads of just how it ended up that weird.

Arthur Morrison put up a real mixed bag: a lot of good humor and some solid detective bits, but with real problems with dialect; this is something you kind of get with nineteenth-century humor, but that doesn't make it not suck.  There's always going to be a use, as a writer, to faithfully representing  non-classroom-standard pronunciation and usage, but reading stuff with major dialect should be a bucket of cold water to rethink about how you actually put that on paper.

C. Dudley Lampen's shit-bad books, exactly enough to qualify, show how a sufficiently-motivated author, regardless of ability above a certain and very low minimum standard, can always find a publisher.  Lampen got there with Christianity; there are other paths for other bads, but taking them rather than taking your rejections will not get you where you actually want to be.

I had a bunch of D. W. O'Brien short stories this year that added up to about a qualifying extent; he's one of those writers who for the most part does make it up in volume, but there was a lot of breadth there this year, and more good material than before.  I can't understand why he isn't better known among general audiences, in the context of pulp writers before the end of the Second World War.

I notched 126 books or book-equivalents from E. Phillips Oppenheim this year, and nearly all of them were a dreadful waste of time.  Craft-wise, I liked seeing how he put together serial collections as dismembered novels, unlike Wallace's barely-attached piles of independent stories, and the way he, in mid-life, read one of his early books, threw it into the sea because it was so bad, and then got somewhat better is heartening, but that is a lot of material for very little result.  Oppenheim always wants to be literary and do well, but he never got any good at it, and "churn out a lot of barely-qualifying crap" is no longer a valid market strategy with so many other entertainment options.

I read all of E. W. Hornung, including all of the Raffles stuff, this year, mostly sitting in one place in London waiting for a plane to Jo'burg.  The cricket interplay was pretty good, and there was a lot more to think about, in a social-history dimension, than I thought there would be, but there also was a lot less material than I thought this guy had put up.

Earl Derr Biggers (including all the original Charlie Chan books) was a lot less racist than I was dreading going in, and a lot better at all kinds of stuff about place and human relationships than you really expect a detective writer to be.  Biggers is another one where you really see the contrasts between 'trying' and 'succeeding' at including marginalized people as truly human, and how you take that lesson forward is important.

This year accounted for 111 Edgar Wallace things, which were less of a waste of time than the Oppenheim if immensely more aggravating.  Wallace is a better and snappier technical writer, but he has dialect problems, he's intensely racist, he ran out so many failed experiments and slabbed together so many reprint collections, and his organization of anything novel-length is frequently a disaster.  It's more informative, maybe, to read Wallace writing about writing than it is to read his own stuff; he's thoroughly, professionally artless, but he has a distinct vision for what can sell where, and a grounded approach to writing as craft.  But for general audiences, god, no, stoppit.

Edward Lucas White had a minimum-qualifying extent this year, all read in Zambia, which was good in places and eh in others.  I liked his shorter stories better than his full-length novels, but they really go to show how a racist and orientalist fear of the unknown underlies a lot of that great early-20th-century boom in weird fiction -- as someone who likes reading and writing that sort of weird, it's another spur to re-examine what I'm doing and how I do it.

I covered all of Elizabeth McKintosh this year as well, and as much as I liked the Inspector Grant material, her non-Grant mysteries were maybe better.  It was also cool to get her full spread, and see her doing things other than mysteries; too often you see authors only through a lens of what stays in print, what the library buys, etc, and you miss these parts of their development or personality.

I finished up most of the Ernest Bramah I'd missed five years ago in Russia while I was in Zambia, and enjoyed the more Max Carrados stuff I hadn't found before.  I did not enjoy another volume of Kai Lung shittiness, but will keep it as a memento mori for doing characters so significantly outside oneself.  :\

This year also saw all of Ethel Lina White's thrillers, and while I was reading them, it was ceaselessly awesome.  If there's anything in this year that's going to qualify for re-reads in some distant future, these are going to be it.

I ground through all of Felix Dahn while I was in France, and hated about every single page of it.  The transition from late antiquity to the early Middle Ages is interesting, but maybe don't send a moustache-twirling kleindeutsch racist to tell the tales of Germans taking over from Rome.  :\

Intensely stupid and so significantly, broad-spectrum racist that I frequently wondered whether I was unexpectedly drunk rather than the book being just that bad, I somehow made it through most of Francis H. Atkins' material this year, and the most significant thing I gained out of it was never having to read those atrocious crap piles ever again.  There are a very few interesting or novel points in this guy's fiction, and none of them are worth putting up with the writing to dig out.

If you need a sleeping pill, you could do worse than Frederic W. Farrar -- unless you break out into uncontrollable laughter when confronted with mid-Victorian pietisms.  His school stories are picture-primer trash; his Romanica is ahistorical sermonizing trash.  Again, do not.

Georg Ebers can't draw characters, compose a plot, or hold reader interest, but he does a hell of a job re-writing research on Roman-era Alexandria over into thick piles of sequential words.  Dude sucks, but if you can skip around, he's done all of the work on this little corner of Egyptian history and it just remains for moderns to take that work and re-cast it.

George A. Henty made the minimum qualification, and I wish he hadn't -- his three bad to very bad novels made the worst of the flight out to Hong Kong, and should not be given the chance to spoil anyone else's time, ever again.

George Griffith had a fuck of an arc -- some of his early material was just blindingly awful, both stupid and poorly composed, but he recovered and improved in later books to put up some stuff that's borderline worth seeking out.  That this kind of metamorphosis is possible is a great encouragement to keep going: no matter how bad you are, you will not necessarily *stay that bad forever.

I've still got a couple left before I finish George J. Whyte-Melville, but from what I did read of him this year, it's pretty clear that sometimes authors have fields they're good at and fields they suck at.  His Victorian stuff is not that bad -- and his riding manual is an unintentional treasure -- but his sword-and-sandal stuff sucks major balls.  If you need to stay in your lane, that's something to learn as soon as possible.

H. Bedford-Jones is a weird one; not real good, but he takes on these gigantic imaginative ideas and does them almost correctly, almost completely.  I obviously want to avoid that sort of missed-it-by-that-much outcome, but to a certain degree you need to take on big challenges to even have a chance at that.

I read most of J. U. Giesy's work (with Junius Smith on Semi Dual) last year, and the minimum-qualifying stuff that slopped over into this year was mostly very bad, but there was a WWI novella in the bunch that was so good I wondered if it had been misattributed.  Again, what's good, what you like, and what will sell are all completely disconnected propositions.

James Hilton provided the requisite Mid-Century Popular Intentional Literature ration this year, some of which was good, some of which was confusingly-accumulated, and some of which ended up lapped by Richard Rhodes.  Hilton is another re-read candidate, but not all of his stuff; in bulk, this is a lesson about the advantages and disadvantages of throwing yourself so wholly into your works.

The John Buchan I had left for this year, after reading him in the main, much younger, was a picked-over bunch to be sure, and as usual to be grappled with rather than just taken up entire.  It's not something I'd go and recommend to others, but A Lodge In the Wilderness was maybe the most important and impactful book I read, personally, this whole year.

The one good thing I, or anyone else, can take from John W. Duffield's shitty corpus, is the expression "what is this Bomba-the-Jungle-Boy horseshit?", which means exactly what it looks like it means.  Duffield has some imaginative ideas, but has zero capacity to actually execute on them, ever, and put up some of the most virulently stupid racism I had to grind through this year.  Bad even among his contemporaries, the likes of Duffield are why informed people are reluctant to make major hay out of Lovecraft's racism -- not because he isn't still problematic, but because a lot of stuff in the contemporary popular press was that much even worse.

I technically had a qualifying amount of Ladbroke Black this year, but you blink at this dude -- who ghosted a lot of the high-speed, instantly-disposable Sexton Blake as well -- and his entire corpus is gone.  As much as I can remember, the stuff I read this year was similarly functional but not noteworthy, and fortunately not real influential.

I probably read enough Leroy Yerxa to qualify, between various short repacks; he's a middling pulp author, but going through, all of his stuff is still publishable, which is important.  He turned in acceptable work in the right trip lengths, over diverse subjects, to place out; there's a place for this kind of workmanship, even if it doesn't ever get to great heights.

I didn't expect I'd like the Lloyd C. Douglas stuff that I liked as much as I ended up liking it: there's bits of clunk through his whole corpus, but he almost never gets preachy, and where his stuff works, it hits just absolutely ceaselessly, and is very cool.  (But yes, some of it does suck, very important to note.)

M. P. Shiel was responsible for the book that I got maybe the maddest at this year, and definitely the one I wrote the longest negative review blurb for.  He had a couple good parts, but there was too much that was just over-ornamented where it didn't straight up suck.  Honestly, all of this material was back last January and a pain to think about even then.

For Golden-Age space-opera, it doesn't get much better than Malcolm Jameson, who I mostly cleaned up this year and who barely got over the qualifying line.  This took in a little more of his range than I had before, which was really good: he always comes up with neat outer angles on stuff, and almost always with correct science, at least of his time.

Max Brand is my current 'major' campaign, and reading the next hundred-ish things from him in the pile will take most of 2019.  I've already chewed a decently big chunk, though, and it's interesting to see more of his warts and weak points as a writer, where what I'd seen from him before lacked a lot of that.  I'm also seeing, for the first time, some of his non-cowboy fiction, and for the most part that's another 'stay in your lane' incentive; we'll see what of this changes next year.

I finally got around to reading most of Otis A. Kline's corpus, and it...was not really worth the wait.  Kline is another idea factory, and while he's generally more able to execute on them than Duffield and less racist in doing so, neither comes out perfect and he's substantially in the shadow of Abraham Merritt on Earth and E. Rice Burroughs when he's off on a planetary romance.  Functional and imaginative, yes, but you really really want that extra push to make it through to 'good'.

The one thing you really want to take out of S. S. Van Dine is his 20 rules for detective fiction; I got that this year, in amid the Philo Vance stuff, which takes a bit of an effort.  Van Dine's career arc is a hell of weird one, and it must have hurt, from the cleaned-up later books, to look at the over-artifacted mess of the first couple and regret not doing them better.  This sort of view is why I want to read less of these in the future -- I can't keep having my mental context dictated by works that are a hundred years and more out of date.

Sabine Baring-Gould is approached a lot better as an antiquarian and a writer of sourcebooks than of fiction.  His fictional works are okay, if you excuse some major structural problems, but for all of their unstoppable thickness, his collections of legends and historical tales are just mighty.  Maybe not an author to read, but definitely one to keep around.

I'm also kind of in the middle on Sapper, who's showing some okay range, but in many parts really exemplifying how perspective and market demands can put blinders on you.  His wartime stuff recalls Tim O'Brien or Joseph Heller in places -- mechanized warfare tends to have similar effects at whatever distance -- but there as in his thriller serials he's also the staunchest guy since Wallace, and he does a really poor job of not Drudge-siren hyperventilating about threats to the class system.  Again, we'll see next year how the rest of this goes.

I read all of Tacitus' Annals and Histories this year, and damned if I can remember a whole lot about them that deterministically wasn't in Suetonius or Julius Caesar last year.  Roman writers are definitely more primary-source than pleasure-reading at this point, but it does help to have that text as a reference for reading bads out of the Bibliotheca Romanica.

The Talbot Mundy I had on the stack this year was very much for cleanup, and doesn't change last year's impressions: a still-problematic dude who is less racist, less colonialist, and less bad than a lot of people are willing to extend him credit.  If a book has Chullunder Ghose in it, it's probably worth reading, even if I still would like to see a South Asian writer pick up and grapple with the character.

Thomas C. Bridges did probably the best boys'-own adventures I read this year, which is kind of like "least stinky garbage dump" or "best-tasting light beer".  He does good stuff and some absolute horseshit, but his pacing and action flow is just magic, even when his characters are being intolerable racist fucks; another one to scrape the gunk off maybe.

I got to see Valentine Williams turn, over the course of a lot of books this year, from a John Buchan disciple so close to almost be clone into an independent if not always original thrillerist; in 2018, we'd read the Clubfoot series out for ableism -- von Grundt is kind of defined in his villainy and power by his grotesque body -- but Clubfoot himself is one of the classic spy villains and an absolute monster of a character.  There are ways to get to that level without punching down, but this is the mark, right here.

Wilkie Collins was mostly accounted for in 2017, but the three books finished this year -- The Moonstone, The Queen of Hearts, and The Woman In White -- would be a sufficient reading for a whole year for a lot of people.  Every single one of these is plain and pure magic, and if you haven't read them, there's your '19 project.

Somehow, I made it through all of William H. Ainsworth's wild and degenerate gothicisms; I'm just not always sure how, or completely why.  Ainsworth is another author to be handled with the fireplace tongs, not because he's bad or problematic, but because he's just so weird and relentlessly extra, and I'm not really sure you want to get that on you.

* * * What stands out in the above, or what should, is how unbalanced it is: I read a couple other women authors this year who fell below the threshold, and McKintosh and White put up some of the best total results of anyone I read this year, but the volume problem is exactly as bad as it looks.  This is something I really need to make a point of fixing, but it's something that ought to also come naturally in making the other change I'm targeting for 2019.

That other change, of course, is to read more contemporary material.  There's stuff to be gleaned from the past, sure, but what I got from chewing through that much Oppenheim is of seriously debatable value.  To some extent, pulping Gutenbooks is what I do because I can do it easily at work or on the road, but I really need to set aside time to read newer, better, smarter, more diverse material if I actually want to improve as an author -- and it'll probably be less teeth-grinding, too.