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witchin-y-bitchin · 1 month

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Read the Signs

It’s high time that I share my thoughts on signs, something I’ve been meaning to do for literal years now. With this blog I’m going to go over signs: what they are, how to recognize them, and how to interpret them.

This is definitely information that beginners need to know, but it’s a help refresher for intermediates as well.

First of all, what is a sign? A sign is an event that occurs to a person from an external and often metaphysical source. They can be messages sent by Angels, deities, the Universe, ancestors, or any other spirit or entity. Signs can be requested by a physical individual or they can be sent without any initial warning at the entity’s discretion. Signs generally have some kind of message that may have a deep or shallow meaning. That message could be as simple as “hey, I’m here” or as detailed as “you need to do x and y in order to z.”

So how do you know if something is actually a sign? The special thing about signs is that they are personal. Often times when you are sent a sign, you will know it is a sign right when you see it. Signs are meant to be out of the ordinary so you are able to know immediately that a message is being sent to you. Yes, crows are often seen as a sign or omen of some sort, but not every crow you see is a sign from the Morrigan, for example. Especially if you live in an area where crows are common place. If you see a sign, you will often know immediately that that’s what it is. This isn’t to say you’ll know immediately what it means, but you will know that this is something you need to pay attention to.

Another special thing about signs is that they will happen repeatedly until you get the message. This can occur on those occasions in which you don’t realize that something is a sign right away and need some extra help (also see: repeated slaps in the face until you get the idea /j). The general rule is “twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern.” There are exceptions, of course, but generally speaking it’s a good idea to start paying attention after something specific happens three times. Once again, take note and reflect.

When you are sent a sign, you’re going to need to take note of it and reflect. You don’t want to turn to the first witchy message board and ask “what does this mean?” No one else is going to be able to tell you what a sign means to you. They are very personal. With that being said, sometimes it can be helpful to ask for a second opinion, but this is really only best done through someone who knows you well and is also spiritual, through a trusted reader (as a blanket statement), or through other personal stories from folks with similar experiences that might spark some inspiration. Even after getting another opinion, however, you still must do some deep personal reflection to find the right answer for you.

Sometimes common signs from certain entities may be specific to them. Fully intact feathers in odd places are common signs from Angels, for instance, and owls are well known symbols of Athena. If you don’t already know these types of specific correspondences it may be helpful to do some research. Research is important! Just remember that personal reflection is always the backbone of understanding signs. This reflection can look like different things to different people. This, once again, is a personal process. Allow me to describe how I generally go about it to give you an idea…

When I am sent a sign or am asking for extra insight and am gifted with that, I first like to write down what happened with as much detail as I can. Then I will practice some deep breathing to calm and clear my mind. Then I will think about what occurred and replay the experience in my mind. As I play it over again I try to see it all with a fresh perspective. Then I will reread what I wrote and as I read I’ll jot down any ideas that came to mind. After this, I generally find some new insight that adds to my understanding of the sign.

This is only my personal process and it will look very different for different practitioners, but it is important to find some kind of process of self reflection that works for you.

A lot of practitioners can see magick in everyday life. This is a great thing that can to your quality of life. However, there does need to be a balance. Some folks forget to consider the mundane and assume that every experience outside of the norm is some kind of sign. I see this problem with beginners especially. It is important to always consider the idea that a coincidence may be just that: a coincidence. It’s helpful to always stop and think about an event as completely mundane. Consider the physical explanations as to why something is happening rather than jumping to the conclusion that the answer must be metaphysical in nature. After you’ve done this, if you still can’t figure out a reasonable and logical explanation as to why or how something has happened, then it might be time to consider a possible magickal force at play. But remember: if it is truly a sign, you’ll either know right away or it will happen so much that it becomes impossible to ignore.

I know that a single post isn’t going to magically fix the issue of folks coming into witchy spaces asking others to do the work of deciphering signs for them, but hopefully it reminds folks that there’s a bit more that goes into reading signs than just a quick snip it of an experience and prior knowledge on mythology and folktales.

I don’t write this to call anyone out or complain about these post, but I do think it’s important to do the work. That’s how we learn and progress on our unique paths. We’ve all been the person asking others for help, I know I have, so let’s have patience with those still learning. The more merrier. I for one am glad to see beginners around helping to keep magick alive.

Thanks for reading!

#pagan #paganism #witch #witchcraft #witchblr #signs #omens #magick #long post

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historia-hanaxiryo · 1 year

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‘The Seasons of Hope’

Summary: The war had taken everything from Henri: his family and his home. Now as an orphan, Henri tries his best to survive, but hope is only a small string and his will to live is an even smaller thread. In the first winter of being an orphan, Henri is pushed into an underground resistance. Will he be able to succeed as a member of the Resistance or face death itself?

Character(s): Luxembourg (Henri), Belgium (Emma), Netherlands (Abel)

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Henri coughed as the cold air-dried his throat as he made his way down a street. The winter wind makes him shiver, and it does help that his clothes are worn out. Henri had never liked winter since he hated the cold, but he also hated winter as it symbolizes death. Thinking of the symbolism makes him want to cry, but he was not allowed to cry, especially during these times. War. A word that he despises. Henri kicked a rock into an alley. If it wasn't for the war, he would be at home with his parents. A warm home and even warmer parents.

He walked into the empty alley and fell to the ground. He cannot help to shed tears as he thinks about what life could have been. Scratch that, what life should have been. He shouldn't be an orphan digging food out of the trash can. An orphan that slept in boxes. An orphan that had no hopes. Henri let out a small whimper as he pulled his knees to his chest. He tried to warm himself up but to no avail. The wintry winds blew, and the sun was too weak to share its warmth. Henri squeezes his knees as he becomes more desperate to warm himself up. Eventually, he angrily stands up and marches out of the alley. There was no point in sitting still if he was going to freeze. He quickly calms down as acting differently from others around him could make the German soldiers suspicious of him. He quickly realizes it was a good thing as he starts to hear shouting. He stops on track and hides behind some men.

"What is happening?" Henri whispers.

"Don't be speaking French. You know that's illegal. To answer your question, apparently the man in that house is a resistance member," the man whispered.

"I thought he was a criminal. Not a resistance member," another man whispered.

"A resistance member is a criminal!" the man hisses.

"What will happen to him?" Henri asked.

"You want to know what happens to that scum?" A rough voice spoke. Henri and the other men jumped as they call turned around. They quickly recognized that the new man was a German soldier. "Those scums are executed. There is no need for pathetic man to be around. Oh, and do not speak in that language. You look like an orphan, so I'll let it slide today." Henri nodded, but he was not entirely sure what the soldier said as he spoke too fast.

"I'm sorry," Henri whispered to the men, who had all turned around and ignored his apology. Henri watched as the man was forced into the back of the car and taken away. People began to walk away, but Henri stood there in disbelief. He hoped the man could escape death. He watched as people started to slowly hide in the nearby stores or in their homes. Henri sighed as he turned around and walked away. These scenes were no longer a surprise, but they didn't stop him from being frightened. He couldn't imagine one day being home and sent to death the next. Henri began feeling sick and hurried down an alleyway, where he vomited. His throat began to burn even more, and his legs shook like a newborn lamb. Eventually, his legs gave way, and he collapsed onto the floor. Henri breathed heavily, hoping it would slow down his heartbeat and bring some coolness to his burning throat. Henri leaned against the wall. He grabbed something from his pocket. The small item was covered in a small cloth. He uncovered it to reveal it was a small doll. The doll was a handmade wooden wall. It had no limbs but looked beautiful. He held the doll close to his chest as he sang a lullaby that his mother used to sing to him. As he sang the last note, he heard footsteps. He quickly covered the doll and put it in his pocket; while the doll was important to him, it was embarrassing that he had had one since he was a boy. Henri looked up to notice a soldier was walking down the alleyway. Henri sat still, wishing he could turn invisible. Of course, the soldier noticed him and stood in front of him. Henri breathed in and stood up, looking at the soldier. The soldier took a quick look over him.

"What are you doing here?" The soldier said. Did the soldier ask why he was here?

"I felt sick, so I threw up in the trash can," Henri responded in Luxembourgish. The soldier looked perplexed.

"Answer me in German," the soldier demanded. Henri looked down. He was hoping his Luxembourgish could help him since the language was quite similar to German.

"I can't speak German," Henri responded. He could hear the soldier becoming irritated. Henri felt terrified, but luckily, he heard more footsteps.

"Stein, we are in the French-speaking areas. He's probably speaking Luxembourgish," another voice called out to the soldier. Henri looked up to see a young soldier.

"I don't care! He should be speaking German," Stein yelled. He looked at Henri with absolute disgust. "I don't know why you are not speaking German, but you better learn it if you know what's good for you." Stein pushed Henri and marched down the alleyway.

Henri pushed himself from the wall and placed his hand on his shoulder. He's ashamed to admit that he was quite frail and weak. He suddenly felt another hand on him, which he knew was from the young soldier. Henri jumped as he backed away from the young soldier. The young soldier apologized.

"You should really learn German. I think there is a school nearby that can teach you," the young soldier said in French. Henri could feel his mouth hanging.

"I can't go there. I don't have money to afford the classes. I learn German through hearing the people speak around me," Henri whispered. The young soldier looked at him with pity but soon looked stern. Heavy footsteps returned. Henri knew it was probably another soldier.

"You! How old are you?!" Henri turned around to see it was Stein again, but with another soldier.

"How old are you?" Henri heard the young soldier hiss. Henri then realized what was happening. They wanted to draft him into the war!

"Véierzéng (14)!" Henri responded. He didn't remember the age when he could be drafted, so he held his breath in.

"You're 14? He's too young then. Even if he was the age, just look at him. He's too frail and week. He'll be dead within a day," the other soldier said. Stein nodded. They both turned around and walked away. "Beilschmidt, you better come." The young soldier nodded as he walked with them.

Henri breathed a sigh of relief. He was just terrifying enough to see a German soldier, but to talk to one? That was death looking at you. Henri spent no time standing around as he quickly made his way out of the alleyway. He did not need to speak to another soldier today.

The sun began to settle down, and Henri was now freezing. In the daytime, at least a small amount of the sun gives him warmth, but the nights are when the cold really begins. His breath was shaky, and his body was shivering. He would walk faster, but his legs would not move faster. It ignored his pleas to go faster. Soon, Henri walked under a bridge where he gathered wood. Over the year of being an orphan, he had luckily learned how to build a fire. He used all his strength, drilling the stick into the others. Sparks flew, and flames emerged. The immediate heat brought comfort to Henri. He leaned as close as he could to the flames. He smiled as the cold soon disappeared, and he could relax. Henri built a fire near the edge of the bridge so he could look at the stars. The stars were his favorite thing about the night. It would remind him of all the times his father took him and his mother to go watch the stars. His face began to freeze, so he turned to the fire but was startled. Henri turned his head completely to the other side and noticed a man sitting beside him. It wasn't uncommon for homeless people to sit with him for the warmth the flames provided, but that didn't stop Henri from being nervous around them. He turned to look at the flames once again but kept his hand on a pocketknife that he had taken from his home. It belonged to his father, and Henri did not want the blood to smear it, but if he had to defend himself, then he will.

"I don't know what you are grabbing, but I am not going to hurt you," the man whispered. Henri loosened his grip on the knife. He turned to look at the man, who was staring at his hand. "Let go of whatever you're holding."

"Why? So, you can rob me? That is not happening," Henri hissed. "Being robbed twice is enough for a lifetime." The man rolled his eyes and looked back at the flames. Henri took the pocketknife, setting it on his side of him. He placed his hands on his knees. Henri could see the man instantly became calmer and relaxed. He turned to Henri.

"You know what? You look familiar," the man said and leaned in. Henri quickly grabbed the pocketknife. The man immediately moved away from him. "I swear I have seen you before. Move your hair."

"If I look familiar, wouldn't you know my name without me moving my hair out of the way?" Henri asked. The man sighed and leaned in again. He quickly grabbed his arm, the one that held the knife. Henri tried to fight the man, but the man was stronger and managed to move his hair.

"Henri? Henri Friedan?! What in the world are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home?!" The man shouted. He moved away. Henri moved the pocketknife in front of him. The man knew Henri, but he didn't feel safe with him after what he did.

"Yes? I don't know? I can't exactly make fire out in the open," Henri replied. The man shook his head.

"Where's Lucien, your father?" The man asked. Henri then realized that the man knew his parents. He could feel his eyes watering up now that he had to face reality once again.

"He was sent to the military, but died soon after joining," Henri whispered. He looked at the flames as tears began to fall from his face. He had always been the type to cry, but he hated it. After all, boys don't cry. It's the weakest thing a boy can do. Henri wiped his eyes as he waited for the man to speak again, but there was nothing for a while.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Henri. What about your mother? She still has to be around," the man spoke. It seemed like the man still believed that one of his parents was alive. Henri whimpered as he shook his head. Why could he stop crying?!

"She's gone. I'm out here waiting for the war to be over. Maybe I can find a job once that happens," Henri responded. This time, Henri looked at the man. The man was looking at him. As Henri looked at the man, he noticed that he was wearing a pin. The colors of the pin were ones he was not expecting. It was the colors of the Grand Duchess. "Wouldn't you get in trouble with that pin?"

"No. I don't think I will, and even if I do, then it would be worth it. My loyalty lies with the Grand Duchess, not that toothbrush mustache man," the man laughed. Henri snickered as he heard what the man referred to the German leader as. Now that he thought of it, that man's mustache does look like a toothbrush. Henri then began to laugh out loud. It was the stupidest reference he had ever heard.

"Be quiet!" The man hissed as he covered Henri's mouth. Henri took the pocketknife and placed it on the man's arm. "Ssh! Soldiers!". Henri instantly put the pocketknife away. He turned to the flames and shoved snow onto them to extinguish the fire. Henri and the man sat in silence.

"You two! Out under the bridge now!" Henri and the man looked at each other. The man quickly took the pin off and placed it in his pocket. The man grabbed Henri's hand and walked out from under the bridge. There, Henri saw Stein and three other soldiers. His heart jumped when he noticed the young soldier! Was his name Beilschmidt? "What do you think you are doing here at these hours?"

"I was checking up on this young boy. I thought he was lost," the man responded. Stein looked at him and growled.

"Not you again! Go home or else I'll put you in the army early!" He yelled at Henri. Henri stood still. He was scared. He didn't want to run in case they thought he was trying to escape. He didn't want to be shot. Stein seemed to get angrier as the seconds passed. Luckily, it appeared that the soldier beside was a rank higher than Stein.

"Stein, let the boy go. He's of no threat. That man doesn't look threatening either. Let them go," the high-ranked officer tiredly spoke. The man took no time to run off, leaving Henri alone. Henri sighed but then noticed a glint in the snow. Henri looked at the soldiers, who were walking away. Seeing they were gone, Henri picked up the small item on the floor. It was the pin the man wore! The pin with the colors of the Grand Duchess! Henri placed the pin into his pocket and ran. He had to find a new sleeping spot. Luckily, he could find a box with no snow on it, which meant it was barely thrown out. Henri moved the snow off the ground and found a smaller box to lay down on. It seemed like the night ended in his favor.

He was wrong. Henri was dead wrong. When he awoke, he noticed that something was wrong. He sat up and saw that he was covered in snow. Great, someone had stolen the box he was using for cover, but that wasn't the worst of it. He looked down to see his shoes were missing as well! Henri growled as he held his feet. What kind of scumbag steals from a child?! Henri sat still for a while as he tried to warm his feet up. Once again, his eyes began to water. Out of all the times, why was he crying now?! Henri cursed under his breath and noticed a man and a woman staring at him. The man looked angry and held a hammer in his hand. Henri realized that the man didn't want him here. Before the man could get near, Henri ran down the alleyway.

Despite his feet being practically frozen, he was able to run away. He guesses that's what adrenaline does to someone. He slows down and slips onto the ground. He lifted his feet on a brick. He breathed in and out, hoping to catch his breath. Henri wondered where he could find some shoes. He didn't want to steal shoes, but he didn't have the money to afford shoes anyway. Luckily, Henri, over the months, learned how to sneak around. After all, how was he supposed to feed himself? Once he caught his breath, Henri stood up and walked around. He finally found a shoe shop. He walked to the back and noticed some shoes were thrown away! He quickly hid in a hole in the wall. He would have to skip eating today as he needed to wait for the dark to cover him. Henri began to hum a lullaby once again. In times of stress or sorrow, he could always turn to the lullaby for comfort.

Henri opened his eyes to see that the sun had set. He smiled as he looked out of the hole. Henri slowly walked out of the hole and tiptoed to the garbage can. He peeked and saw several shoes. Henri sighed. Most of the shoes were so worn that it was worthless, but there was one shoe that was barely worn out! He grabbed the shoes and put them on. He then walked down the alleyway. It felt nice to have shoes on again! The best thing is that he was asleep for the whole day, which meant he could stay up for a while to make sure he found a better spot to sleep. He did not need his shoes to be stolen again. Henri found a small makeshift home. He walked around the home and looked in the window. The makeshift home appeared abandoned! Henri quickly entered the house and blocked the entrance. Henri yawned as he sat down on the makeshift bed; before he knew it, he was asleep.

The light of dawn hit Henri's eyes as he woke up. He groaned as he knew he would have to leave the safety of the makeshift home, but he knew he couldn't stay here. There was a reason why it was abandoned. Henri swung his leg off the bed and put on his shoes. Henri held his stomach as it cried a sorrowful cry. He was starving. It was time to find food. Henri quietly and hurriedly walked out of the makeshift home in search of food.

The town's streets were empty, and a slight, white fog blanketed the town. It was an eerie look, but Henri didn't have the time to be frightened. This was the perfect opportunity to find food. He quickly turned to the corner onto a street where he knew there was a bakery and a grocery store. He snuck into the grocery store through one of the windows. When Henri became an orphan, he quickly learned which food was best when homeless. He needed canned food. He realized that he liked canned pork and canned corn. Maybe he could grab an apple to go. Henri needed to eat something but didn't want to eat the canned food until it was necessary. Henri found the canned foods and began to put them in a bag. He had to be quiet and fast. He packed at most a minuscule 10 canned meat and 10 canned vegetables. Henri started to hear footsteps, so he quickly grabbed two apples and climbed out the window. He felt bad for stealing, but he thought he had no choice. Who wanted to hire an orphan anyway? Henri used many boxed to walk on to avoid leaving a trail. Once he was far enough, he got off the boxes and ran into an alleyway. Since he had left footsteps at the store, he couldn't risk returning to the makeshift home. He walked down the alleyway looking for a place to settle for a minute.

Finding a place to settle around these areas was difficult. Henri knew that it was because the business didn't want the homeless here, so it was no surprise many of the spots that would have been good were teared up. Eventually, he found a large box and hid under it. Henri took out one of the apples and bit into it. The apple flavor quickly covered his tongue, and it had been the sweetest food he had eaten in a while, so Henri couldn't help but smile. Unfortunately, the apple was soon gone. He wanted to eat the other apple but would save it for the night.

"Those boxes? Nah, it's all trash. You can take them," a woman's voice was heard. Henri realized that he may be under a box about to be taken! He crawled out of the box and sat still. Henri peeked around the trunk to see the young soldier and Stein! This was terrible news. Henri quickly made his getaway, and it seemed that it did not go unnoticed.

"You! Stop right there!" An angry shot rang. Henri's heart jumped, and he began to run. He ran as fast as he could. The best part about being born in a town and living in it is that you know almost all the shortcuts and hiding spots. Henri could crawl into a hole in the ground and push cardboard onto it. "Where did that kid go?!" Henri could hear the shouts of the soldier. He sat still and waited for the footsteps to disappear. Once they did, Henri sprang from the hole and ran into the streets into a new alleyway, but he crashed into someone. Henri looked up, and paper flew around him.

"I'm so sorry!" Henri shouted as he collected as much of the paper as he could. He held them close to his chest. The man growled as he got onto his knees.

"Watch where you are going!" The man shouted and picked up the other half of the paper. The man looked at Henri as if he wanted to yell at him more but then ran.

Henri turned around to see a German soldier! The soldier noticed him and started to run at him. Henri bolted out of the alleyway and into the streets. He ran as fast as he could while forcing the papers into his bags. He ran into another alleyway and climbed over a fence. Henri began to slow down, but then he heard shoes slamming onto snow and concrete. Of course! Henri should have known the soldiers would be able to jump over fences! Henri tried to leave the alleyway but was slammed onto the ground.

"What's in your bag?!" The soldier shouted. Henri managed to remain on his knees and began to kick the soldier.

"Let me go!" He shouted as he managed to kick the soldier's stomach. The soldier groaned and loosened his grip. Henri used that as an opportunity to turn around and push the soldier. Still, the soldier quickly composed himself and grabbed his left arm. Henri flailed his right arm, hitting the soldier in the face. He used his left arm to hit him, and Henri then grabbed an item from the soldiers' pocket. He pointed the thing to the soldier's face. It was his pistol! Henri's heart dropped as he realized that he had stolen the soldier's gun and could have possibly killed the man. The soldier backed up. "G-go away! I don't know what's in my bag, and I don't want to hurt you!"

"Kid, you can hand me the gun, and we can see what the paper you were carrying was," The soldier pleaded. Henri didn't want to comply. Something about the papers didn't seem right, and the soldier reacted even worse. He shook his head.

"No! Go away! Please!" Henri yelled. The soldier nodded as he backed away from him. Once the soldier was out of his view, Henri ran out of the alleyway without bothering to hide the pistol. He was too startled to think straight and ran into another alleyway. He collapsed onto the ground and hid behind a box. He panted. He needed to catch his breath. Who knew Henri would one day get into a fight, no less with a soldier?! Henri didn't know whether to feel proud or stupid for his actions. Henri grabbed one of the flyers and looked at it. Henri was right about the flyers being suspicious! The leaflets were in French and were propaganda flyers! He decided to feel proud and relieved about his encounter with the soldier. After all, being caught with propaganda flyers could lead him to jail. Henri placed the paper back into the bag. He then remembered that he had that pin with the colors of the Grand Duchess. He took the pin out and looked at it. Would he be considered a criminal now? Fighting a soldier and carrying propaganda flyers wouldn't exactly make him a law-abiding citizen, now would it. He placed the pin back into his vest and held the gun to examine it.

"I was sure the kid ran into an alleyway around here!" Henri gasped as he realized the soldiers were near and we were looking for him. Henri ran from the spot he was in and took the gun with him again. He was not going to jail.

Now in an alleyway further away, Henri decided to take out the flyers from his bag. These papers were only bad news. He had to get rid of them. A hand grabbed Henri's shoulder as he was about to throw them away. Henri spun around and saw a man. The man had spiky blond hair, light stubble, and blue eyes. The man's eyes widened, and he backed up. Henri could feel one of his eyebrows rising. He was confused. Why would the man back away from him? That was when Henri saw the pin with the colors of the Grand Duchess. This man was of no danger to him.

"Umm, why are you carrying that?" The man asked nervously. He kept eyeing Henri's hands. Henri lifted the flyers up. Was he talking about this?

"I accidentally knocked into someone, and he dropped these. I tried to be nice and pick it up for him, but then a soldier came. I had to run from him, so yeah. That's why I have these," Henri rambled. He shoved the flyers in front of himself. Henri looked at the man, who looked confused but relieved. The man even began to chuckle.

"I was talking about the gun," the man pointed at the pistol Henri was carrying," though, that does answer my other question!" Henri sheepishly put down the flyers and looked at the pistol. Henri mentally facepalmed. Of course, the man meant the gun! Why would he be worried about flyers anyways?! Henri looked back at the man.

"Oh.," Henri whispered. It was the only thing he could say. Henri took a step back. He wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out of it again. The man seemed to notice Henri's hesitation and walked up to him.

"Look, give me that gun," he demanded as he grabbed Henri's arm. Henri dropped the gun out of sheer fear and surprise at the man's action. The man grabbed the gun and placed it in his pocket. "Come with me." The man began to pull Henri with him. Henri tried to stop the man.

"Where are we going?!" He shouted. He tried to hardest to remain on his feet, but the man was strong. Henri fell to the ground. He began to hyperventilate. Was this man undercover?! Was he pretending to be on the side of the citizens to make it easier to capture resistance members?! What did he want with him?!

"I'm not going to hurt you! Get up now!" The man growled. Henri shook his head. He didn't want to go with the man. He wanted to stay where he was. The man sighed and stopped pulling but did not let go of his arm. Henri sprang onto his feet, but he felt like the man wouldn't hurt him at this moment. "It's best for you to come with me. Soldiers have recently been catching anyone who appears to be a resistance member. With your bag and having a gun, they might've spotted you and are looking for you. I'm going to take you to an area that is safe."

"H-how do I know you're not an undercover soldier?" Henri sputtered out the question. The man began to chuckle. He dragged Henri close to him and leaned in.

"I would never be with those people. I would rather die than serve for them like a dog," the man hissed. Henri nodded. He was still scared of the man, but now he felt he had no reason to truly fear him.

"Ok, I believe you," Henri whispered. The man smiled and patted his head. He then pulled Henri towards him.

"You're still going to come with me," the man said. This time Henri did not object. He walked with the man to wherever he was going. Though, he wanted to know where they were going.

"Umm, Mister, where exactly are we going?" Henri asked. The man did not answer, and they continued walking down the alleyway.

The man pushed a door opened, and Henri entered. There were a lot of beds in the room. The man pointed to one of the beds.

"You can sleep here for now," the man said. Henri nodded and sat down.

"Is this an orphanage? I rather not be in one. No one wants to adopt a 14-year-old boy," Henri spoke of his concerns. The man shook his head and grabbed Henri's bag.

"No, this isn't an orphanage. Don't worry, you're safe. I'm going to take the bag to see what the flyers were about. I won't take anything of value," the man explained. Henri sat still and watched as the man left with his belongings. Did he just get robbed? Again?! No wonder his mother was always concerned with him with strangers. He was not observant enough of their personality. Henri groaned and laid down. Luckily, he still had his four most prized possessions on him, so everything will be ok. Henri wrapped himself around the blanket and slumbered off.

"Hey, wake up!" Henri groaned as he slowly woke up. Was someone talking to him? "Can you wake up already?!" Henri's eyes slowly opened to see that the room was dark. He yawned and looked to the side. "You take forever to wake up. Get up." It was the man from earlier. Henri pulled himself out of bed.

"Umm, isn't it nighttime? Why are you waking me up now?" Henri asked as the man again pulled him out of the room, but not into the streets.

"There's something I want you to see and meet," he said. The man opened the door, and there stood a group of men. "Henri, meet the Resistance members, and you all, meet the new recruit!"

"What?!"

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Notes:

• I currently have no plans to continue this story despite that I do have a second chapter in the works. Though, it’s been forever since I worked on it.

• I also don’t have the whole plot thought out. So, if I were to continue it then you’d be waiting a long time before any new chapters appear.

• A lot of grammar issues since it’s only a draft. I planned to finish a good chunk of thee story before editing and revising. Though, I might not ever do that.

• This story is set during the Second World War

• The story focuses on the passive resistance of resistance groups in Luxembourg.

• Henri (Luxembourg) does not speak German. His parents has planned for him to learn it, but then the war started and they died before they could teach him. He does know Luxembourgish which is similar to German hence why Stein can understand him and still know that he’s speaking a different language.

• BeNeLux in this story are supposed to be a found family rather than them being actually related to one another.

• The title for the story was made up a second ago of making this post lmao.

• I was hesitant on sharing this, but I know that it might be ignored anyways cause it’s a long post.

• I am not sure if I want to post this on any other websites.

#Hetalia #hetalia luxembourg #aph luxembourg #hws luxembourg #hetalia fanfiction

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surrealsunday · 2 years

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Hey, it's the Anon-who-started-Kinnporsche again ^^

Ok so I wasn't planning to drop a comment everytime I watched an episode lol but I just finished episode 6 and you were right damn it was so good! I loved seeing them being so goofy with eachother and then also managing to have serious conversations, and that they had to learn to compromise and work together since they were literaly stuck together. One of the thing that stood out the most for me was how well balanced the episode as a whole was, as in it started in a pretty humorous way despite their situation and it gradually became more and more serious, the same way they gradually got more "serious" into their relationship, which finally gave them the courage to actually talk about their relationship and for Kinn to apologize for his big fuck up. The contrast between the two rock paper rock cisors showcase so well imo (i literaly gasped when Porsche changed to scissors in the second one, like damn my boi !). And the symbolism with the handcuffs with Kinn learning to let Porsche go :((((((( I actually had seen this last scene in gifs, but damn I still wasn't prepared to be hit so hard like the actors' performance were so good!!

Also I remembered in episode 4 (I think), I loved the scene where Porsche tells Big off for expecting him to be shocked that Kinn is gay (and I was actually pleasantly surprised they actually adressed homophobia, as I initially thought that this was just the kind of fictional world where everyone is gay and no one cares, not that I wouldn't have liked that either lol). But I also felt so bad for Big bc he looked so devastated :( ? Was it because, as Kim had implied, he is actually in love with Kinn and thought "oh damn Kinn is gonna fall so hard for this guy and now I don't even have anything against him" ?

YESSSSSSSSSS! I'm so excited to read your reaction!

Ep 6 is honestly soooooo good. You're right, it's incredibly well balanced. And because the plot is driven by the progression of Kinn and Porsche's relationship, it's the show at its best.

Seeing them be goofy together! Yes! The best! And seeing Kinn just get to be himself and have fun with Porsche? Honestly so needed (for the viewer and Porsche) and gives you so much better an understanding of the mask Kinn has to put on daily to survive and to fulfill his family obligations.

Look at them! Happy babies!

I really love the way the show allows them room to talk and get to know one another. They have multiple conversations throughout different episodes where they open up. And ep 6 is one of the best examples with the fireside chat, and then again during Kinn's last apology and their talk about how they felt about having sex (and the way it happened). I think my mouth dropped open when Porsche changed his hand to scissors, and then I audibly gasped when Kinn easily released them from the cuffs lol. God, those were both such good reveals. Such a brilliant way of showing through their actions how deeply they had fallen for one another. And Kinn being able to let Porsche go, to essentially say, 'Your happiness is more important than my own' was one of the most beautiful moments of the series. As of course, was Porsche coming back. And you're sooooo right, Mile and Apo are brilliant in that final scene. I feel like big emotions played out by actors get a lot of attention, but subtly is far more challenging. Both of them play subtle emotions insanely well and it's on full display during that scene.

Omg Big. Um... ok. So I will just say that you won't ever get explicit confirmation or an answer to your question, but general fandom consensus is yes. Yes, it's very easy to conclude (as you'll see in future eps) that Big is in love with Kinn and recognized immediately that there was something between Kinn and Porsche. I will really look forward to hearing your thoughts when it comes to how Big's feelings play out. So I do feel during that confrontation in ep 4 that Big was almost hoping Porsche would be an asshole about Kinn being gay. And when Porsche tells him off, Big has this moment of thinking, 'Fuck' and knowing he stood no chance with Porsche properly in the picture.

Also, you know about the bonus hospital scene that comes right after ep 6 and before ep 7, yes? If not, it's HERE and you must watch it. It's the softest, sweetest shit ever.

And thank you so much for sending me your thoughts - I actually squeed!!!

#kinnporsche #KP first watch anon #you're getting your own tag

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dakota-schuck · 4 months

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Journal Entry | December 2023

Pixel 7 | tumblr

Aspirations II

I want to not have to worry about my basic needs like food, housing, and health care. Ideally this would be via a safety net that's available to everyone, because I don't get a thrill or whatever it is people like about being healthy around the sick, fed around the starving. I get status symbols like having the fanciest hat in town, that's a fun sort of competition where winning doesn't come with guilt about what happens to those who weren't so fortunate, whether it's luck or skill. Anyway, yes, tangent over.

I want to not have to worry about the basics, pretty straightforward.

But I also think it would be really cool if I could subsist on things like speaking engagements, merch sales, etc. Where I add value to people's lives, and if they want to reward me for it they can choose to do so, but don't have to do so. Having someone want to buy me a beer makes it taste all the better.

Does this aspiration betray a need for validation or something on my part? Maybe. But even if it does, whatever I get to want validation, I just don't get to demand it.

I like teaching simple abstract tools that are immediately useful. What does that mean? Maybe I should think of an example...

Boundaries.

When someone starts projecting their feelings onto me or demanding I think as they do, I often rely on a simple phrase to gently reassert a boundary between us.

"I live in this one, you live in that one."

It's an incredibly simple and obvious thing to point out, but honestly it often really helps. And it works both ways too, sometimes I need a reminder that others are allowed to make their own mistakes even if I have an urge to try and "help" push them in a direction I think would be better.

A lot of my youth was spent in an Evangelical Christian context and even though I later figured out that wasn't for me, there are certain impacts that worldview had on my sense of responsibility for the well-being of others. So sometimes it's necessary to check myself and make sure I'm respecting their boundaries instead of just enforcing my own.

Maybe that's not a good example.

Fallacies.

Fallacies are a good example of a simple abstract tool that can be taught and applied to one's life in beneficial ways.

Once I learned what a Straw Man argument is, I was better able to recognize when someone was using that rhetorical technique and having a word for it let's me more easily resist the pitfall of accepting their inaccurate re-framing of my stance.

My aspiration is to make logic and other such tools more accessible and less gatekeepy. And to do so in a way that is mutualistic, really benefiting everyone involved (including myself).

Actually, that's an even better example.

the ability to recognize that some games are zero sum, some are positive sum, and some are negative. sum.

Signed,

Dakota Schuck

Journal Entry | December 2023

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doomsurfing · 2 years

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Whenever it comes to finances, angel number 888 has a lot to do with happiness and success. This is a life-changing statistic that can both increase your financial resources and improve your overall well-being.

It serves as a gentle reminder that the forces of the universe have decided to protect and guide you on your journey. The appearance of angel number 888 in your life is no accident.

As a result, your guardian angels have decided to reward you for your sincerity by offering you their care and protection. Love is a gift, and you must use it to reach your goals.

Your hard work has been recognized by the angels. It’s critical to keep a good frame of mind and continue on course. That’s why you’ve been seeing angel number 888 more and more often.

This is a gift from the angels to thank you for all of your hard work. You’re being rewarded with their support and love, and you should take advantage of this opportunity to make huge changes in your personal life.

The concept of equilibrium is also conveyed by angel number 888. Make sure your thoughts are focused and don’t allow anyone else to interfere with your progress after you’ve connected to angel number 888.

As you grow more self-aware, it’s important to look for the bright side in every scenario. If you’re going to succeed, you’re going to have to overcome a lot of obstacles and reassess your ambitions. In order to retain a positive outlook, angel number 888 may assist you in doing so.

Your angels are linking you to God’s love by sending you the angel number 888. They’ve made up their minds to keep you on their side and guard you at all times. That’s what you get for working so hard and having such a good heart. Accept and wield this affection as a weapon.

Number 888 Symbolism

In numerology, the angel number 888 represents karma and a complete cosmic circle. You may have heard of the old saying that, if something goes around, it will return. What this means is that in return for your good deeds, you will be rewarded by the Universe.

On the other end, you can’t expect God’s grace if you weren’t good. Everywhere you go, Karma follows. Getting the reward for your hard work is the most important part of the process. It has been decided by the angels that you will receive their love and care because of your deeds of goodness.

Your life will be filled with fresh possibilities when the angels use angel number 888 in your favor. Take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and accomplish something with your life!

It’s not just about money and material wealth that the number 888 signifies.

Brace yourself for a large financial surge if this impactful number shows up in your life. It could be a lottery victory, or it could be an inheritance from a deceased family member.

Angelic number 888 is also a sign of good news coming your way. So, be prepared for it!

Your hard work and sensible decisions have been recognized by the angels, so they’ve given you angel number 888 as a token of their appreciation. You’ll gain a fresh perspective on your life and be able to look at things from a different perspective.

Another indicator of impending danger is the appearance of the angelic number 888. You must not allow yourself to be swayed by the money and go on the wrong path when things start to go your way. You don’t want to become one of those people who are easily spoiled by money.

What does 888 Mean Spiritually

This is a very ethereal number. As a gift from your guardian angels, it will guide you on the path to enlightened consciousness.

It helps you focus on the future by preparing your spiritual self for impending changes. A spiritual interpretation of “888” can be found by asking, “What does 888 mean?” Try to find out what it is that you really want and need in your life.

Think about where ever you want to go in the world and figure out how to get there. You’ll be prepared to move forward once you’ve established your goals. It’s essential to have a strong moral compass and to demonstrate the strength of one’s will.

You’ll experience a lot of hardships during your path, but you must persevere and keep moving forward. Don’t be afraid to take on the toughest tasks.

Open up your emotions and let love in. That’s what angel number 888 is all about. Give hugs and kisses to the folks you’re surrounded by.

Show them how much you care and they’ll reciprocate. It’s okay to display your soft side, and expressing your feelings isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Angel number 888 is always there to help you be a role model for others. You were born to lead, and now is the moment to put your leadership skills on display. Show initiative and the ability to lead.

The others are looking to you for direction. It’s your job to identify and lead those who need support, even if they’re hesitant to ask for it.

What does 888 mean spiritually?

It’s important to remember to give thanks and have faith in the Universe’s plan for your well-being and the well-being of others when you see the angel number 888 appear in your life.

What does 888 mean in money?

The number 888 represents all the riches and pleasures you’ve been hoping for. Some unexpected money and inheritance are indicated by this number.

Is 888 a good angel number?

In the world of numerology, the number 888 holds a unique place of honor. Angel number 888 could also signify abundance and harmony in a spiritual sense.

As a sign of good fortune, your guardian angels have shown you these numbers. They’re trying to let you realize that you’re on the correct course and those nice things are going to come your way.

Is 888 good luck?

For many people, the number 8 is a portent of good fortune, money, and a higher level of consciousness all by itself. As a result, 888 is regarded as a triple.

888 is considered very auspicious, and as a result, addresses or phone numbers with that numerical sequence may be more valuable.

What does 888 mean biblically?

Jesus, or Christ the Redeemer, may be symbolized by the number 888 in some Christian numerology. Gematria, numbering the letter value of the Greek transcription of Jesus’ name, or as an oppositional value to 666, the beast’s number, may be used to justify this portrayal.

888 Angel Number in Love and Relationships

Angel number 888 is a powerful number with regards to your love life. It has the potential to improve your romantic relationships. When it comes to love, the 888 angel number plays a different function depending on how you’re feeling at the time.

Your love life will suddenly change when you see angel number 888. The love life is no exception when it comes to the meaning of angel number 888, which is transformation

Angel number 888 will provide a new spark to your love life if you’re already in a relationship. Using this method can help you and your partner work through all of your differences.

It’s crucial to communicate your problems and concerns with your partner, as the number 888 serves as a gentle reminder.

Number 888 Twin Flame

In terms of the twin flame, the 888 angel number has tremendous significance. Your twin flame will be closer to you if you use it.

Finally, you’ve gained enough wisdom and experience to identify your twin flame and form a lasting relationship with him/her.

The twin flame angel number 888 is simply a reaction from the Universe. It allows you to meet your twin flame by aligning your frequency with theirs.

To find your twin flame, all you need to know is where to look. What the angels are trying to do is guide you to the proper road by sending you angel number 888.

To be clear, discovering your twin flame isn’t about finding true love. Rather, it’s an opportunity to discover who you truly are. Occasionally, your twin flame is also your true love, but it’s more often than not that this isn’t the case. In the vast majority of situations, the twin flame is a long-term buddy.

Angel Number 888 and Law of Manifestation

It is time to manifest your wants and requirements if the number 888 keeps popping up in front of you. Now is the time to take action after a long wait. In order for you to connect with angels, the angels have sent you this number.

An angel number 888 manifestation permits you to accomplish success that you never thought possible.

What you’re experiencing is a direct result of the great vibes and support you’re receiving from God. It aids in the development of a good frame of mind and the beginning of goal accomplishment.

The more positive you become, the easier it will be for you to do anything. You’ll begin to draw in others who are upbeat and joyous into your close circle.

As a matter of fact, it’s rather simple – people with similar energy tend to attract each other. As a team, you’ll be able to do great things!

Only by opening your heart and accepting the spiritual energy as a gift can one receive it.

Angel Number 888 Doreen Virtue

Psychic and motivational speaker Doreen Virtue believes that angel numbers are a mechanism for our guardian angels to communicate with us.

Angel number 888 is one of the strangest numbers. According to Doreen Virtue, your angels are utilizing this number to direct your attention toward your goals.

You should prepare yourself for changes if you keep seeing it, according to Doreen Virtue, because she believes it is a sign of things to come. Inspires you to find more strength and courage in your heart, as well as a new perspective.

According to Doreen Virtue, the angels have recognized your efforts and are sending you angel number 888 to help you move forward in the correct direction in your life. Stop procrastinating and start making positive changes in your life right now.

888 Numerology Meaning

888 numerology meaning is based on the fact that somehow this number possesses a specific frequency, which is a mixture of the energies delivered by numbers associated with this number.

The numbers 8, 6, 24, 88, as well as 8888, are all connected to and have an effect on the angel number 888. 888 is no exception.

The number 6 represents a sense of equilibrium and stability in the mind. This number is reserved for those who have the most experience and mental fortitude.

It’s a sign that you’ve lived long enough and gained enough wisdom to be in charge of your own destiny. Abundance and success are associated with the number 8 in numerology. Good news is on the way if you call this number.

Your financial situation will be the focus of this wonderful news. A raise or promotion could be on the horizon. You may also be the lucky recipient of a large cash prize from a lottery.

Angel number 888 is 8 + 8 + 8 = 24 if you look more closely. Harmony and prosperity are symbolized by the number 24.

#angel numbers #888

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baywvcmyers · 2 years

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Internet dating - Have Enjoyable And steer clear of The Hiding Dangers

Web Dating Entertaining

Meeting people in the internet should be enjoyable and entertaining. You should get able to satisfy lots of men and women, spend some time getting to know every single one, narrow all of them down to typically the few or typically the one you believe you would including to no less than be friends with, in addition to then get to know him, her or them far better. Finally you should appear at a cozy point where it is time to go on to the following stage, personal get in touch with.

The people you wish to eliminate early ought to recognize that this is not individual, it is not really animosity, not necessarily rudeness. It is merely a matter of having too many options to follow up on each person in fine detail, and therefore having to exercise your discretion based on limited information together using gut instinct and/or intuition. You can't spend too a lot time on each person you face so you need to devote the period you do have in order to those who ignite some real curiosity about you. The people young and old you need to quickly deny, assuming you do so in a considerate and fair method, should recognize that this simply wasn't their moment in moment formeeting you.

In addition to if you want to keep it enjoyable and fun, whenever you are the particular one being rejected you must understand the same thing - it had not been your instant intended for meeting anyone rejecting you. Within the simplest terms, keep an open mind and remember that on the particular internet the choices are so endless the following great potential good friend or partner is definitely just around the cyber corner.

Nevertheless there are other things to keep forever in head in order in order to enjoy your website dating experience instead of allowing it to turn into a tragedy.

Web Dating Protection

As we have got said, web online dating can be, and probably 99% of typically the time is, a thrilling time. The following data is simply not designed in order to scare you aside from web dating or any additional use of the internet. Instead it truly is intended to help ensure that you never have to get into that 1% of folks that do not conclusion up using a good experience dating upon the internet.

Right now there are three general categories of men and women (villains) you may encounter on the web who symbolize a danger or even threat to your current web safety, and even to some degree in your psychological plus even physical okay being. These people are the standard scum of the globe and require the ongoing vigilance. We now have divided them in to three categories dependent not on the particular form of activity they will engage in, which is definitely similarly fraudulent action based upon lies and deceit, nevertheless is rather split based on the degree associated with harm they may be well prepared or intending to instill upon you. They are, from the most harmful to least harmful, the following:

1. Potential predators

These people are truly one out of the million, and right now there is scant evidence that any of the severe predator crimes mentioned under this planning have ever obtained place in connection with a web dating site. But there is legitimate concern that it may happen someday. This is of study course a major concern together with similarly styled predators (pedophiles) preying upon children on the net. As a result don't panic you should, as owners associated with an International Online dating service, we just really feel it our work to advise a person of any risks to become on typically the lookout for.

Possible predators have zero conscience and are prepared, certainly planning, to accomplish an individual grievous harm. These people include men which have intentions involving sexual assaults upon unsuspecting women, plus individuals, couples or even groups who may wish to lure you, be you male or even female, halfway around the world inside order rob you, kidnap you, enslave you or even worse. Of course they are a few people out of thousands, and your risks of encountering one particular of them are extremely low, maybe lower than staying struck by lightning, but if an individual do you ought to know the signs to consider and the safety measures for taking.

Of course their plans are usually detailed and nicely thought out, therefore they will always have got a good tale to tell. View out for also good a story. They have an agenda, so be cautious about an individual who doesn't would like to adapt to the needs. They have to get in control plus want to get you on their grass, so don't allow them set just about all the guidelines about where your very first meeting will consider place, or whenever. If you not necessarily easily controlled an individual make a horrible victim - it is much easier to just pass on you and appearance for someone who really does what they're informed. However, were not really experts within this theme. If you wish to know more one particular place you might begin is a book called "Web Stalkers - Protect On your own from Internet Crooks and Psychopaths", created by Donald Andert & Donald T. Burleson.

2 . not Scammers

Scammers are people who do not necessarily have intentions regarding inflicting any bodily damage upon an individual; they just would like your money. Regrettably these people are readily available online dating internet sites. Quality Online Dating Sites are getting as many actions as possible to weed this type of member out there. Unfortunately, it isn't very possible to get all in progress and we require some evidence which a member is conning before we can refuse them or terminate their golf clubs. Websites that demand for services will be going to end up being much more diligent regarding guarding against Scammers usually, in addition to fact typically the socalled "Free" sites have some reason in order to welcome Scammers as they are those that really are ideal at appealing to be able to many members and keeping the web site busy. If a person find someone clearly trying to con you, report their particular activities to the particular website . If an individual aren't satisfied with their particular response condsider transferring on to another site. A Good quality Site will also inform all members any time a Scammer continues to be discovered to ensure that no one else is caught within their web.

Con artists are almost inevitably (probably 95% of the time) registered over a dating site being a female member. That doesn't mean they are female, frequently the particular person behind typically the female profile is actually a man, and only as much a partners, one man and even one woman. The particular scammer will produce your interest in her, and then begin to need your own assistance, financial help specifically. At first, usually the quantity she needs appears so up-and-coming small to a person that you can't believe it will be a scam. In your head it just basically enough to trouble with. Maybe the lady developed a computer problem, and in the event that she can't acquire it fixed how could she continue in order to communicate with you? Might be her Mom is definitely ill and demands some medicine. She hates to put your ex problems inside your panel, but she gets so close to an individual already, and your woman has nowhere else to turn. Naturally you'll send her the $50 had to solve this difficulty. You like that the girl would ask you to aid.

The tricky element is that this could easily get true, maybe the girl computer really did break down, maybe the girl Mom really is sick. You may not end up being sure and to turn her straight down may just run you the most fantastic chance at joy you've had inside years. It can all be real, and the scammer sees that, that's precisely why her/his story is usually so good. But it may not be true, and presently there may be nineteen other guys falling for the same story in the same time. Suddenly that 50 bucks is really $1, 1000 and that's a great monthly income within China, along with a little fortune in some sort of place like Spain, Vietnam and almost all other under developed nations.

And it might be stage one involving an agenda to sooner or later invade your bank account or turn you into the monthly supporter. We all have been told by fine sources of woman members on some Russian sites that have 4 or a lot more "fiancï¿½s", each regarding whom is supporting her with a good each month income.

Other hoaxes involve simply receiving you to give your email tackle, which batched inside with hundreds of other people is a saleable commodity. Or to be able to maybe you have click in a link that could ultimately allow her/him full access in order to your computer, your id, your individual information and even ultimately, your traditional bank account.

Watch out for a part that too quickly desires you to get right to personal e-mail contact. If throughout that first or perhaps second message you are already becoming asked to e-mail her address from your own, ask yourself precisely why? You are able to continue to be able to message her coming from your Web Online dating site for some sort of long time without additional cost. Your greatest protections is definitely to stay about the dating web page for communications till you are comfortable she is regarding real. The scammer desperately wants off of site as swiftly as possible, to be able to avoid being captured and to attract more personal. Usually some sort of scammer will tyre after maintaining contact on the internet site for even a several messages, because she/he wants easier focuses on to deal with. She/he will drop you and move in to easier fish to catch.

Needless to say watch out with regard to someone who too rapidly asks for cash. When it comes to our website, which targets Chinese women and Worldwide Men, we might confidently say that will genuine and genuine Chinese ladies do not wish to be able to lose face along with you, and also to inquire a stranger intended for money is a decrease of face. She can do almost everything to find other sources of money, friends or family, an additional job, even selling something she is the owner of, before she may lose face with you if the girl is genuinely enthusiastic about you for typically the right reasons. Plus we bet this is true of all ladies who are really serious in you, not only Chinese women.

three or more. Game Players

Video game Players are internet site members who are usually not after your current money, but they are after something of price - your pleasure, your psyche, your current sense of effectively being. They are usually male members, but that statistic is starting to become significantly less true all the time. These kinds of are people who, for some reason, stroke their particular own egos by simply damaging yours. It's okay to try out games if the individual on the other side is in addition doing offers, and equally sides know about that. But it's pretty another thing to be able to deceive someone in to trusting you merely in order to deflate their own pride or in fact break their center. But for many reason the match player thinks that a "loss" intended for you is a "win" for him/her.

The range of games staying played is countless, simply too varied regarding us to get a listing. In the circumstance of male sport players, probably the supreme goal is a consensual sexual conquest. But it might end up being a final giving inside to a request alluring pictures, or something more innocent, just like simply using a quantity of women's curiosity, all wanting him or her at the exact same time. For typically the female game person the goal may possibly be receipt regarding nice gifts, specially from several guys at the exact same time, or probably she finds self worth in becoming told she actually is cherished and admired by as many adult men as possible. The point is, don't let your self worth suffer at typically the hands of these types of people.

Since the internet dating site it truly is practically impossible for us all to control this habits. We can't end someone's membership mainly because another person complains of ill treatment except if that is certainly backed right up by solid data, and solid data is almost extremely hard to provide. Presented undeniably clear facts of improper conduct we will end a member's position, but it practically always becomes one particular member's word towards another, and that we can not be the one particular to judge on that will basis. However, all of us provide one excellent tool to protect you from one more member's unwanted attention, your Blacklist. About Quality Online Dating sites you happen to be entitled to place any other member you desire on the Blacklist plus once in your Blacklist that other fellow member is unable to contact you in virtually any manner.

Watch out for an individual who is also quick to express real love (why would someone critically searching for the life partner bounce into "love" overnight), somebody who seems preoccupied while chatting along with you (maybe he/she is communicating with various members at once), someone who doesn't remember the points you've written on your profile or told him/her within a previous information (maybe he/she is definitely juggling too several dates) or somebody who says some thing in a speak or a concept which seem in order to be directed with you, like wondering you about Sidney, Australia, once you reside in Vancouver, North america (maybe you're getting confused with someone else on his or her list of conquests).

Most importantly regarding all, while you are typically the victim of a gaming player, remember of which it is his or her fragile sense involving self worth of which brought you presently there, not your very own. He/she is truly typically the "loser". Don't offer up on the particular rest of the particular members of the favorite site since most of these people are truly, sincerely and honestly looking for you. Acquire care to stay away from the Predators, Scammers and Game Gamers, and Online Seeing can be great fun and it could lead to a true and lasting partnership.

#How to Burn Fat #more info #here #read more #website #get more info #check here #Additional info

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angelsndragons · 3 years

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fjord’s feelings for caduceus changed in episodes 98-99

by which i mean, fjord finally realized how special and important he is to caduceus, which in turn set the tone of their relationship for the rest of the campaign. buckle up, this is a long one.

not when fjord threw away his sword and went to caduceus instead of jester. or when caduceus presented him with the star razor. or after the citadel fight when caduceus gave him his holy symbol. i think things changed for fjord in episode 98-99, when caduceus saved his life and removed the orb.

this is going to require some context.

because here’s the thing: fjord’s always looking for the price, waiting for the catch or other shoe to drop. people caring for him because of him with no strings attached is unprecedented. vandren and the world taught fjord that love is conditional, that only if you hide what others would find ugly and make yourself useful to them will they deign to give you a scrap of affection. i don’t think vandren did this maliciously, mind you, it was just part of his worldview and fjord’s life up to and beyond that point supported it. we can see that right up to the end of the show, where fjord is terrified that vandren didn’t remember him or that he didn’t mean nearly as much to the man as vandren did to him.

so we have fjord, who learned to don masks and hide his truest self, including his best and worst aspects. while fjord made the nein into a coherent group, into a force, a crew, a family, even, he still waited for that other shoe to drop. waited for the day that they would reject him because he was no longer useful or because he pushed them too far. you can see this waiting all over the early campaign; he’s not looking for an excuse like caleb to cut and run but he anticipates nearly all the moments that almost fractured the nein, in spite of that low wisdom score. while jester carried the guilt of not being able to save molly, fjord carried the guilt of not protecting the group in that crucial moment. travis confirmed on talks that fjord’s biggest fear when he lost his powers the first time was that he would no longer be useful and be kicked out of the group.

that’s why fjord damn near broke down at the end of 72. the nein, no questions asked, with their standard level of snark, accepted that he was going to be a liability and kept him around anyway. armed him anyway. declared that he was no liability and that they would help him along until he could help himself and them again. this unconditional acceptance caught fjord completely off guard. it always does, really. because caduceus had said for months, an out of game half a year, that he was looking to reforge the sword as a gift for fjord. he said this to fjord’s face. he did not change course when he learned that the sword was a legendary blade forged by acolytes of the wildmother and moonweaver. the blade was still meant for fjord, even if fjord was still chained to uk’otoa. fjord extends his love and protection to the nein but is still not convinced the reverse is true. he was starting to believe it but he wasn’t quite there yet.

caduceus has a high enough wisdom to understand that’s fjord’s hang up even if he doesn’t quite understand the reasoning behind it. that’s why he pulls fjord aside in ep 75 and tells him that he doesn’t have to choose the wildmother, that there are other gods and other ideas out there looking for a champion. fjord, who at this point considers wildmom his only option (travis says she’s the only one who’s shown the slightest interest in fjord and that’s why he’s gunning for her), is befuddled by caduceus and this whole talk, so much so the pair end up talking past each other for the next several episodes.

after fjord officially becomes a paladin, things between him and caduceus become fairly...unsettled compared to their previous interactions. they talk past each other more, they aren’t in sync enough to double team those social interactions they were just starting to get good at. things are just weird for a while. to me, that’s fjord waiting for the catch, waiting for caduceus to call in some favor or something like it. and he keeps getting confused when caduceus doesn’t. so he tries once or twice to follow in caduceus’ footsteps and do as he would instead. and it just makes things weirder. these two don’t have a moment together that doesn’t leave one of them confused or unsatisfied until ep 87, when caduceus gives fjord the holy symbol and inadvertently kicks off the next phase of their relationship. because here, caduceus tries to put them back on equal footing and fjord recognizes it. caduceus rejects framing their relationship as mentor/student and tells fjord he doesn’t need caduceus to give him answers. fjord is “well on his way.”

by defining what they aren’t, mentor/student, our two boys inadvertently ask the question, “so what are we?” honestly, it’s a question that the entire group grapples with in the 90s as they reintegrate yasha, as veth struggles with the question of changing back and whether she can stay with the nein, as beau tries to sacrifice herself for veth, as jester learns some uncomfortable truths about the traveler, as caduceus finds his family again. fjord and caduceus can easily define what they aren’t - not mentor/student, not brothers or cousins- but what they actually are stumps both of them.

their relationship doesn't look like any of their relationships with the others: beau is fjord's bro and first mate, caleb is fjord's complicated mirror and admiree, jester his crush and first person he learned to be vulnerable with, veth his antagonistic sibling. on caduceus' side, caleb is the one he looks to for a fellow project nerd and clear, unvarnished goals, beau and jester are the sisters caduceus misses, yasha the quiet beloved barbarian he understands better than the rest, and veth a mess he wants to help but can't. but fjord and caduceus' relationship is highly undefined at this point. notably undefined, beyond their newly shared connection to melora. at the dinner with essek, we get the stone bomb. and travis and fjord panic. like no, seriously, they spend the next four episodes low key panicking over this revelation. this ties back to fjord waiting for those other shoes to drop but it’s also more than that.

when it comes to destiny, fjord has always been the answer, the self made man, to both caduceus and caleb’s questions about destiny. he makes choices about who he is, who he wants to be, and takes actions towards those goals. he is one of those rare people who can wear many different masks, take on many different roles, while still maintaining his sense of self and becoming a fuller version of who he is. when I say fjord is the answer to destiny, what i mean is that he is what ioun said way back in c1 about Fate: mortals make choices and through those choices, destiny is fulfilled. he is the answer to caduceus' own growth from passive instrument waiting for someone to play him to active communicator in this conversation between gods and mortals. in this sense, fjord is what caduceus learns to be (this is exactly why caduceus rejects a mentor role; he has as much to learn from fjord as vice versa).

so for this coincidence to pop up, this idea that maybe fjord only had the illusion of choice to extend his service to the wildmother, that maybe somehow he was manipulated again, that there was some grand destiny pushing things and fjord had no say in it, yeah, i can see why fjord was low-key terrified. so is this what fjord and caduceus are: just some predestined grand fairy tale partnership neither of them have that much say in? episode 96 resoundingly rejects that label too. for one thing, none of the stones or clays treat fjord's last name as anything amazing or spectacular. for another, this string of episodes gives us caduceus at his most human. the terror of not knowing what happened to his family, the uncertainty of his homecoming, the relief of saving his family and home, the irritation at the way the chaos crew treats the temple, the playful attitude caduceus cultivates after, it's all on display. caduceus drops much of his placid exterior and willingly allows the nein to see sheer depth of emotion he has.

which leads me back to episode 98-99. uk’otoa’s agents come for fjord. and caduceus is pissed. travis and ashley both said on talks that they hadn’t really seen taliesin that pissed, that it was like someone had threatened an actual loved one of his. fjord dies. and comes back to an exhausted, still pissed off firbolg who is five seconds away from snapping archmage vess derogna’s head off for interrupting his prayer of healing. taliesin doesn’t even begin to relax until they start interrogating the dead fish people the next day. once caduceus confirms the ball is still in fjord, notably caduceus and caleb were the two who remembered, fjord starts asking for a way to remove it. he asks caduceus to start a commune with wildmom in tandem with jester’s commune with the traveler. caleb tells fjord that caduceus fought “very hard for you while you were down, i don’t know if he’s up to it.” having heard that, caduceus still tries, with his first divine intervention attempt of the campaign. and when jester figures out that greater restoration will work, caduceus pushes through his exhaustion, takes charge, and goes through a truly terrifying greater restoration with fjord to remove the ball. convulsing, seizing, shuddering, collapsing, etc.

in those moments, and in the quiet after when fjord confirms that he still has his powers, it finally hits him that yes, people can protect, fight, and love him for who he is alone. there is no chain or other shoe waiting to be dropped here. the wildmother is no uk’otoa, to punish or take power at a whim. caduceus will fight with everything he has and then some for fjord because he loves him (not for nothing does fjord only realizes the depths of jester’s feelings when she uses heal on him). who are caduceus and fjord to each other? they are people who will fight for one another and the others as far as they can. fjord says over and over again that he wants to protect the nein and look out for them because he cares for them. he demonstrates it over and over again as well. caduceus says basically the same thing; he wants everyone safe and happily on their way and will stay until they are. he demonstrates this all the time as well. this is, i think, the first time that he demonstrates his dedication so unequivocally, free of the artifice of duty, fully committed through love. fjord recognizes this in caduceus and caduceus does in fjord.

i say this is a turning point because, while they don’t really have another super in depth conversation alone together, these two start clocking each other and openly help and look out for each other. there’s an ease and intimacy to the relationship after this. fjord watching caduceus swim near vokodo’s lair, fjord being ready to hand over his armor to caduceus when it looks like his won’t be ready, fjord, caduceus, and beau plotting behind jester’s back to keep her safe from the traveler, the absolute offense fjord takes to eadwulf after he spoke to caduceus like that, fjord levels up in paladin after caduceus tells him he’s proud to know him, all the way to the end of the show when fjord shelters the clerics and tells them to finish lucien, we get little moments like these from both of them. hell, caduceus is the first person in the campaign to tell fjord directly that he loves him.

#cr #critical role #cr meta #fjorclay #wildbros #fjord #caduceus clay #prim did theirs so i'm doing mine #in b4 the wrap-up #just barely #and ran out of steam at the end #i'll expand on that later #gotta finish my vm v m9 meta #and the cockroach party analysis

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mssirey · 3 years

Text

Some agentreign, with a tattoo artist Alex!

Alex knew the roughly sketched symbol, of course. How could she not recognize the insignia of the character her sister played on her show—the campy series with its sometimes shallow commentary or ham-fisted allegories of the world, but that left enough room for interpretation that lent to a beloved view of its main cast.

When Alex glanced up at the woman who had booked her afternoon slot, there seemed nothing outwardly fan-ish about her—her aesthetic one of corporate power, her blazer a sharp cut from a designer Alex couldn’t be bothered to know the name of, her palette choices bold, but smart—not someone she would have read as having much time for fun. But then, Kara was much the same, and she knew better about how deeply her sister loved being a part of a show about superheroes.

“My daughter really loves the show,” the woman offered with a little wave of her hand at the drawing, a jittery air around her, as if she anticipated the judgment she might face, “and Supergirl is her favorite character, of course!” She laughed, a short puff exhaled as her shoulders sagged and her hand returned to ring together with her other. “She said I was her Supergirl the other day, and if you knew how much she loves the character—“

Alex stopped her then, a gentle smile touching her lips. “That is a beautiful base for a tattoo,” she assured. She stepped forward, reached out without thinking, hand covering the nervous twist of fingers, warm against her palm. That close, she realized how tall the woman was—especially as her shoulders pulled back and she straightened up just a little.

Alex almost withdrew her hand as the woman’s teeth clacked sharply together. She watched lashes flutter over warm chocolate eyes as they dropped to where their hands touched, lingering while their breath was held as one.

“Wow— ” one hand pulled free of hers, Alex’s stomach ready to turn, only for fingers to run so gingerly over her own skin—from wrist up her forearm—drawing her gaze down to the full sleeve of ink that she had poured her own heart into, disappearing beneath the once-tidy cuff of her shirt, since stained with the efforts of the day. “Your tattoos are… so…” she had heard all manner of words to describe the art she wore—everything from ‘intense’ to ‘troubling’—rarely a favorable opinion coming from someone who wasn’t an enthusiast, “catching.”

Alex swallowed as those fingers traced a line of color, meant to accentuate the form of the figures at the center of the design—both a representation of herself, stood back to back; one stripped down to blood and bone; the other painted in an unnatural light, too ‘perfect’, meeting all the expectations placed on her, shackles on her wrists and chains weighing down her shoulders.

“I designed it myself,” she said the first thing to come to mind, her eyes almost rolling at her own lack of wit.

“I really like it,” the woman commented before seeming to realize how long she had been touching Alex, her hand jerking upward, a marvelous warmth reaching her cheeks.

They parted, a full pace put between them by the time Alex found the breath to offer her thanks.

“So, um, did you just want the insignia?” Alex held up the sketch to bring them back to business.

The woman faltered, a plea writing itself into her expression. “Well, um, so, you might be able to tell, but I’m not much of an artist,” she exhaled, a laugh bubbling up after, plucking at the chords of Alex’s heart. “I know I want to use the symbol, but I… I don’t know what else to include.”

Alex chuckled along with her. “That’s alright,” she assured. “Come on, let me stretch a few ideas for you,” she waved for the woman to follow her, leading them to her drawing table. The sigh of relief she heard tickled up her spine, and she had to resist shivering.

Drawing on little bits of knowledge she had picked up from Kara, Alex started with a simple base, offering the traditional symbol along with a few alternate designs—some softer, some sharper, some with broken or doubled lines to add a bit of extra dimension—before getting into a range of accenting options.

The woman was vocal with her thoughts as she looked over Alex’s shoulder, humming approving notes when something stood out to her, or commenting on the touches she liked, allowing Alex to easily evolve the piece. There was particular interest when she mentioned the phrase ‘el mayarah’ and explained its meaning.

“Oh! Ruby has definitely said that before,” she gushed, the happy little sigh that accompanied the words tugging at the corners of Alex’s lips, her grin so effortless. “We should definitely include that!”

It wasn’t long before they had a final design— staying true to the show’s version of the insignia and incorporating both ‘el mayarah’ and the script of the language used by Supergirl, wreathed by a flowy, cape-like backing.

“This will likely take two visits— one for the linework and base coat, and then another for the detailing. Is that okay?” She certainly wouldn’t be sad to see the woman again and grinned when she agreed. “You said you were hoping to have this on your back,” Alex prompted as she led the woman to her station.

“Over my heart, yeah,” she confirmed.

“I really like it,” Alex echoed the words spoken to her, and she genuinely meant it. She loved the way the woman talked about her daughter, how every word ran deep with love, how cherished the little girl was.

“Is there anything I should know... going in?” There was a surge of nervousness buzzing in the air as the woman shrugged out of her jacket, folding it neatly over the chair at Alex’s desk.

There was a moment—as Alex watched buttons slipping free of their holes—that she forgot herself, staring longer than might have been polite before she busied herself with putting on her gloves and arranging her inks. “Mostly that when I’m over your ribs, you will feel it,” she sucked in a sympathetic breath. “But, I’ll be gentle, and you can always take a break, if you need.”

She waved the woman toward the chair, turning away as she divested her bra and slid into place against the padding.

“Comfortable?” She got only a nod before she pulled up her own stool. “Relax,” she coaxed, placing a gentle hand on the woman’s back. “I’ll take good care of you and you can swear all you like.”

“Glad to know it.”

As Alex had warned, the woman did feel it. Her breath hissed through her teeth, a sharp inhale that tugged at her, but then she relaxed beneath Alex’s hand. “Good girl.” The words slipped out before she could think to question them, and her own breath caught in her lungs, her gun lifting away from the woman’s skin. There was a soft shiver and then stillness, the barest whimper bubbling out of the woman.

Alex could have perished. The woman was so pliant beneath her, and it took everything to concentrate on the design. But she leaned into that soft praise, continued to encourage her to stay loose, and things went very well—hardly needing to hold the woman still and working straight through without a break. And in the end, she did manage to finish the whole piece, running only slightly overtime.

There was a little disappointment knowing that she likely wouldn’t see the woman again. “If you need any touch-ups, you can always reach out,” she offered.

“Thank you,” the woman said as she gingerly slipped back into her jacket. She bent over Alex’s desk, scribbling something down on the sketchpad with all the trial drawings. “Maybe we could get dinner some time,” she nodded down at the page, where her number was scrawled.

“I’d like that,” Alex grinned, excitement blooming in her chest. The woman’s name was also there on the page. “Then, I’ll see you later, Sam.”

“I look forward to it, Alex.” The sentiment echoed through her for days, accompanied with the image of Sam’s haughty little smirk.

#tattooed!alex #tattoo artist alex #agentreign #danvarias #alex danvers #sam arias #mssirey #my writing

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aphrostarot · 3 years

Text

Future Relationship Pick a Pile

What is the present and future state of things with the person you are thinking about?

*you do not have to be in a relationship with them currently*

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

Pile One (Rose Quartz):

Where are you presently?

Seven of Wands:

Right now, someone in your life is causing you drama. Recently, you have been arguing and fighting more than usual with this person. This might be a romantic partner or an old friend. This person doesn't respect you or your ideas, and it has been showing more and more lately, which makes you retaliate and step up to defend yourself.

Where is your person presently?

Seven of Cups:

Right now, this person feels pretty lost in their life. After spending so long on one path, they are stuck, unsure of how to proceed, faced with multiple options on how to move forward in life. Right now, they must decide whether to continue on the path they have been on or take a different route.

The Hanged Man:

They will have to make sacrifices on this journey, and it appears that they are currently stuck due to a lack of desire to make those sacrifices. To move forward, they must give up something in their life, but this is a very difficult decision. Currently, they are at a standstill.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

King of Pentacles:

One or both of you are a very materialistic person, viewing people as what they can bring to you rather than through an emotional lens. Based on the energy I feel that this may be the person you are thinking of rather than you. This person needs to let go of this mindset so they can choose the right path, the one that leads to you.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

Page of Cups:

When it comes to this person, you are very empathic. Your more sensitive side shows when you are with them, and you really want to help them through their troubles. You tend to be quite needy when it comes to them, feeling as though if they do not constantly show their love to you or express their love for you that they are losing these feelings. When it comes to them, you need constant reassurance. Despite that, you still show this person a more loving and gentle type of love, something they might not be accustomed to.

What do/will they provide to you?

Queen of Wands:

When it comes to you, this person is quite bossy. They are quite dictatorial. Most of what they care about is themselves and their pursuit of what they want, rather than your emotional needs and wants. However, they have no ill intentions or feelings for you. Love from this person makes you feel more insecure. This person brings out your abandonment wounds. As of now, your relationship is like this.

What are your future intentions with them?

The Emperor:

Since this person currently has a lot of control over you, it seems to me you want to be in charge in the future. You want to reclaim your throne and be the bossy dictator instead. For a change, you'd like to be the boss.

What are their future intentions with you?

Nine of Cups:

They want to fulfill all of your future wishes as well as their own. They want your relationship to be everything that both of you have ever dreamed of having.

Queen of Swords:

This may not reflect their future intentions, but rather only a possible outcome. There will be a woman who causes trouble in your relationship. Usually, it is a female relative, a mom, or a sister. In the case that you are currently having problems with this woman, this person's intention may be to handle your current problem.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Eight of Cups:

In the future, if you do not resolve the present obstacles, one of you may walk away and start a new life. According to the energy I am receiving from this pile, you might be the one to walk away from this person if they do not change their materialistic mindset.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

Knight of Cups:

It seems as if they will finally start to see you from an emotional point of view in the future. Eventually, they will start to be more romantic towards you and act like a prince charming. They want to be everything that you have always wanted them to be.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

The Devil:

I think that this person finally acknowledging their feelings for you and becoming less bossy and more romantic towards you is too little, too late. Ultimately, it will be you who walks away. Having had enough of the psychological trauma that this person brings up in you and causes in you, you leave them.

Channeled Messages:

“Dominate me”

“I wish you were lying next to me my love…”

“You are home”

“You are the one I want to be with”

“How can you miss someone you’ve never met?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you, you are always in my dreams.”

“I think you are amazing”

Frustration

Have faith

Please stay

Channeled Letters:

Channeled Songs:

Pile Two (Amazonite):

Where are you presently?

The Magician:

My sense is that you may be single and manifesting this person into your life. If that is not the case, then it is possible that your significant other isn't who you thought they were, so you are trying to manifest a better version of them through them or through someone else.

Where is your person presently?

King of Wands:

Currently, this person feels extremely passionate about the things they are pursuing in life. They work extremely hard to achieve their dreams and they are pretty successful. At this point in their lives, they are feeling pretty confident and feel as if they can accomplish anything they set their minds to.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

The Hanged Man:

If you want to move closer to each other, you may need to make some sacrifices in one or both of your lives. For some, I’m hearing that the Universe is bringing you your manifestations but it may not look exactly like what you want. If that is the case then you will need to let go of some of your ideas of what you want in a person.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

The Fool:

There may be an age difference between you and this person, that or a different level of maturity between the both of you. The person you are thinking of seems to be the more mature and serious one out of the both of you. This person will see life in a more fun-loving, carefree way when you are around. You show them a more youthful approach to love and life.

What do/will they provide to you?

Death:

The Fool is all beginnings and Death is all about endings, so, this is another symbol of the two of you and your levels of maturity. You benefit from this person's maturity. Their guidance will help you to become a more beautiful version of yourself. They will help you let go of your past and grow into a better version of yourself.

What are your future intentions with them?

Five of Cups:

Despite the hurt you've suffered in the past and the sadness that has filled your life, you're still a positive person. Life still seems hopeful to you and you do not let hurt consume you. That hurt still resides deep inside of you, and sometimes it overcomes you if you are not careful.

I am receiving strong Aries energy from this pile, both Sun and Moon.

The Tower:

During the Tower moment in Tarot, everything you have accumulated over the course of your life comes crashing down around you. The Fool's journey describes them sleeping under the Tower when it comes crumbling down around them. It was a traumatic experience but they emerged from it more optimistic thanks to the fact that they lost most of what held them back and they are ready for a fresh start. I find this interesting because you bring the Fool's energy to this person, which shows me that you do embody the Fool. You know that this person will allow you to let go of your past and move forward. Therefore, your future intention with this person is to help you overcome your sadness and become a better version of yourself.

What are their future intentions with you?

Ace of Pentacles:

This person wants to build a foundation with you in the future. In order to make sure that you're happy and comfortable in life, they are willing to do whatever it takes. They want to make sure you can count on them for support whenever you need it. Their intentions are to build a happy and healthy home life with you. Possibly even building a house for you. They could also want to buy you an engagement ring.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Five of Wands:

In the absence of solutions to the present obstacles, some competition may be on the horizon. There may be people who try to steal this person's attention from you.

Page of Cups:

Your emotional immaturity may be another obstacle in this current situation. You need to start to mature a bit more and recognize that some of your desires are not what is best for you. You are being blinded by your optimism in this current moment and this may come back to haunt you in the future.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

Nine of Cups:

With you, their future is filled with wish fulfillment. You will fulfill all of their wishes in the future. Their dreams of building a foundation with you, of making you comfortable and happy with them are coming true in the future. As long as the obstacles are overcome.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

Judgment:

As for you, the future looks bright as well. You will see results in your current problems. By overcoming your current obstacles, you will then be able to be in a healthy relationship with this person.

Channeled Messages:

“Emotionally distant”

“Too self-conscious"

“Dominate me”

“I’ve heard that you’ve been a bad…”

“Can I know every part of you?”

“Playing hard to get”

“I think you are amazing”

Divine Masculine

Eternal Love

Forever

Channeled Letters:

Channeled Songs:

Pile Three (Amethyst):

Where are you presently?

Nine of Pentacles:

In recent months, you have been enjoying the fruits of your labor more than you did before. It is possible that you have been treating yourself more rather than saving money. It seems that you have struggled with money in the past, which is why you usually save money, but lately, you have been spending more than you used to.

Where is your person presently?

The Hermit:

For the past few months, the person you are thinking of has been living in hermit mode. Instead of spending time with friends, they have been spending time with themselves. This has left them feeling pretty lonely.

Three of Wands:

Recently, this person started a new job or has changed the way they work. They have had to work in a team more, and being in a hermit mode makes this difficult. They would much rather be alone right now, but their job requires them to work with others.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

Three of Pentacles:

This is the card of putting your skills to good use. The process of becoming a master. Currently, your person is not doing this. Recently, they have experienced something that has caused them to withdraw into themselves, despite the Universe telling them they need to work with others to improve their abilities. This is preventing both of you from progressing towards each other if they continue to do so.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

Two of Cups:

It is possible that this person has never experienced true love. They do not know what it's like to be truly loved for who you are and everything you do. No one has ever brought them sweet, innocent, fairytale-like love. As a result, they may feel that they are unworthy. You will bring this to them. This person will experience what it is like to be truly loved by you.

What do/will they provide to you?

Eight of Cups:

Your tendency is to hold onto the past, fearing that the negative things that happened to you in the past will happen again. You will be able to let go and move on from the past when you are with this person. A brighter future awaits you with their guidance.

The Sun:

With them, you will experience true happiness. Your life will be better than it has ever been before because of them.

What are your future intentions with them?

Two of Pentacles:

You want to bring balance not only in your own life but also in their life. Your goal is to be the person that makes them feel complete and whole, the one that makes them feel at home.

Queen of Cups:

Also, you want to show this person what true loyalty is. You want this person to trust you and feel at ease with your relationship. Your way of doing this is by being an extremely kind, caring, and loyal partner. The last thing you want is to become the kind of person who has hurt them before.

What are their future intentions with you?

Strength:

They want you to see how strong they are. They want to be the person who you go to for protection, the one who is going to hold down the fort when you need it. They want you to truly be yourself and let your guard down around them and the only way they feel they can do this is by being strong for you.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Page of Wands:

If the present obstacles are not addressed, it appears that this relationship won't last. Maintaining a long-term relationship will be challenging for you both.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

Four of Pentacles:

It seems that this person will be very possessive of you. This can be a negative thing for some but, based on the energy I am getting from you, I think that you may enjoy this at least in the beginning you do.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

Death:

As a result of this relationship, you will undergo a transformation. At the beginning of the relationship, you may enjoy their more possessive and jealous side, but as the relationship progresses, you no longer enjoy this side. In the end, you will want to end this relationship.

King of Wands (reversed):

As the relationship progresses, this person turns out to be quite arrogant and domineering. When you realize they were hiding their true colors from you at first, you begin to lose feelings for them. You no longer enjoy their bossy attitude and actually despise it.

Channeled Messages:

“Just tell me how you feel”

“I tried to replace you but then I realized you’re irreplaceable. Now you’re gone.”

“Can I know every part of you?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. You are always in my dreams.”

“I want to see you naked”

“Let me show you how much I love you”

“I see you in my dreams”

“I wished for someone like you”

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”

Forever

Channeled Letters:

Blank - whatever you feel fits

Channeled Songs:

Pile Four (Fuchsite):

Where are you presently?

Queen of Pentacles:

Recently, you have been treating yourself to some luxury. As of late, you have become more self-loving, and this includes treating yourself to things you normally wouldn't.

Three of Swords:

After being heartbroken, you may have realized that you cannot rely on others to love you and that you must love yourself. Because of this, you have been treating yourself much better than you have in the past.

Where is your person presently?

Four of Pentacles:

Currently, this person feels very possessive over the things in their life. Perhaps they fear letting go of things or are sentimentally attached to pretty much everything they own. This leads to hoarding behavior, which they have always had but recently has gotten worse. This person gives me strong Cancer energy.

Eight of Swords:

In addition, they seem to be trapped in their own minds. Insecurities that they have lived with all their lives have resurfaced and are causing them a lot of trouble. This may explain why they are hoarding things. I also feel that they may be moving right now and this is what is causing the insecurities and hoarding behavior because they may fear change.

What obstacles stand in your way currently?

The Devil:

You have been unable to come together because of this person's hoarding addiction. The reasons why they hoard stem from their anxieties and insecurities, which are a result of their fear of change and abandonment. In order for the two of you to come together, this person needs to get these behaviors under control.

What do/will you provide for your partner?

Queen of Cups:

You will be an extremely kind, caring, and loyal partner. Providing them with an outlet for expressing their emotions. This person will be more willing to open up with you in their life. As a result, they will be more willing to get out of their own heads.

What do/will they provide to you?

Ten of Pentacles:

This person will bring you abundance. Everything you have ever wanted in life will be provided by them. You will both have a very comfortable life together.

What are your future intentions with them?

The Emperor

You want to be the dominant one in the relationship, wanting to control how the relationship goes. When it comes to them, you want to make the decisions and be the one they can count on to let go of their control issues and let you handle things.

What are their future intentions with you?

Nine of Cups:

It is this person's dream to fulfill every one of your dreams. Their goal is to make your life full of joy and abundance. My impression is that they are willing to give you control so long as they can be the person that you have always dreamed of being, and as long as they can fulfill all your wishes.

What are some obstacles you will face in the future if the present obstacle isn’t dealt with?

Two of Cups:

If the present issues are not addressed, it seems that the two of you will struggle to maintain a balanced relationship filled with love. Together, you will butt heads and have a hard time finding happiness.

Where do they stand with you in the future?

The Lovers:

The future looks bright on their end. They seem to have gotten control over their unhealthy behaviors and want to give you love. If you are currently in a relationship with this person, they will likely realize in the future that if they do not control their negative behaviors, you will not be able to remain together. This is what drives them to change.

Ace of Cups:

If you are not currently with this person then this is a sign that they too will realize that the only way for them to be with you is by them getting their negative behaviors under control. They will soon do this and come towards you with an offer of love.

Where do you stand with them in the future?

King of Wands:

In the future, you will be ready to commit to this person. You will be the provider for them, taking care of them and their needs, giving them a chance to settle down and let their guard down. The future looks bright for both of you and this relationship.

Channeled Messages:

“Don’t let me go”

“Not open right now”

“I want to taste you”

“My twin flame, my love”

“Want to make you scream”

“I’m testing your limits”

“I’m working on myself right now.”

“I am trying to protect you”

Fight for it

Time Apart

Channeled Letters:

Channeled Songs:

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Venmo: @ aphrostarot

Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

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sapphixxx · 3 years

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Just finished Lain. Watched the last episode twice, which gently removed my heart from my chest and pulped it into a fine paste in a mortar and pestle. This hit much closer to home than I expected.

In my Lain epistemology post I somewhat flippantly made an aside that the series was only tangentially about Lain the actual character. By which I meant that my read on the series up until that point (around episode 8 or 9) was that each episode was teasing apart different aspects of the ambiguity of truth, knowledge, information, and communication, with the events of Lain's life being almost just a sort of example case study for how these concepts can impact someone on an individual level. Lain was framed in a kind of zoomed out way as an abstract avatar moving through these events without a whole lot of expression of her personal thoughts and feelings.

And then we get to the last three episodes.

It's in this space that Lain the 8th grade age girl with thoughts and feelings and wants and needs and fears comes into painfully sharp focus. The beginning of the final episode sums up and contextualizes what all of this has always been about.

Who am I? What is the real me? How can I tell what's real about me if everyone interprets it differently?

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

The flippant bravado that I expressed in that post is the same attitude that Lain has been applying to her own very sense of self throughout the series, as just another arbitrary and moldable piece of information subject to interpretation with no inherent truth.

She effectively commits suicide by removing herself from sight, mind, and memory, of everyone around her. After all, if they have no knowledge of her, then she no longer exists. But what is lurking in the subtext of this finale is that she fails to consider that everyone she is cutting off is equally subject to this process. She imagines that without her meddling they are able to be happy. But that's all it is, imagination.

She doesn't exist to them anymore because she erased their knowledge of her, but it goes both ways. In doing this, they cease to exist to her, too. The image of the happy lives of the people she knew don't come from real observation or fact. It is something that she is imposing upon her memory or imagination of those people, which is only possible because she's removed herself from the possibility of being reminded just how complex and occasionally painful their lives will be with her or without her. In those scenes nobody misses her except in these brief fleeting moments where they remember some fond association with her, before moving on to their happy lives.

But this isn't reality. She isn't seeing these people. This is how she comforts herself, by imagining that everything is for the best without her, and nobody has to feel the pain of missing her. But that's not something she can know or control. The pain they feel upon losing her doesn't exist only because she has removed herself from where she might see it and have to acknowledge it.

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

This phrase is taken to its literal extreme in the finale. But I think it's important to take a step back and really think about what this means on a more human level, especially when it comes to the kinds of struggles that everyone, especially kids that age, are dealing with.

That is to say, even if you literally physically exist and go about the world talking to people going to school eating dinner and so on, if there are parts of you that people don't know about, if there are things inside you that you can't express, you quickly come to the painful realization that to other people, that stuff just doesn't exist. Which means that whole side of you doesn't exist, according to the outside world. And if that side of you encompasses something important about your identity or your experiences, it's hard to not come to the conclusion that the real you, the entirety of your being, doesn't exist to them either. And when you try to tell them about it, or when they notice on their own, but they don't understand or perhaps outright reject it, hasn't some fundamental part of your humanity been erased? In this kind of environment it's easy to start doubting that any of it exists at all. After all, if nobody else will recognize it, you've only got your own word to go on. And that isn't always enough to trust.

And again, keep in mind that this goes both ways. I think Lain's sister is the clearest example which is given by the series. One episode she begins as a character, someone who has thoughts and a personality and so on. By the end of the episode she is reduced to the state that she will stay in for the rest of the series, blank-eyed and senseless. That fully fledged self she had still exists though. Lain just stops being able to see it, so effectively her sister stops existing for her.

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

When you are isolated you can say anything about yourself. You can say you're nobody, or you're God, or perhaps something even wiser and greater than God. It can feel powerful to start writing your own existence and rationalizing your own isolation, the perceptions of others be damned. You can say well, my parents don't understand me and I stopped being able to connect to my sister, but who cares! Family is just arbitrary biology anyway! What if they aren't even my family at all, and are just plants put in place by a secret organization. I'm not lonely, I'm just seeking a greater truth, a conspiracy that only I can see! I don't make social mistakes, I'm not afraid of hurting anyone, that's the fake me running around out there! But it's not sustainable. Eventually life comes crashing down, whether it be in the form of interference in the material world, or if that mental state with all of its attendant self-spun narratives just finally collapses.

As with most things in this series, Lain's interactions with "God" are written in a very abstract symbolic way. But, the pattern that it follows seems very familiar to me as one of a predatory adult grooming a vulnerable minor. He alternates between gassing Lane up as the most powerful and important being who has ever lived, and then in the next breath saying that she's nothing. In peddling his conspiracy theory narrative of humankind merging with The Wired, of Lain simply being a powerful piece of software meant for Grand Purpose, he feeds into her struggle for identity and the need to be seen and understood by at once validating these feelings and how confusing they are, while reinforcing her isolation and his own dominant grip over defining the shape of the world and society.

When Arisu finds Lain living in filth and comforts her, that is one of the rare moments that the raw, vulnerable, material world Lain, weighed down with no pretenses, pokes her head out. That moment of genuine intimacy that she has been so hungry for this whole time is enough to allow her to retaliate against "God" when he shows up in anger upon being doubted. When Arisu reacts poorly to this sight, though, is when Lain makes her final dive back into her own walled off reality. For as much as she wants to be seen and held and comforted by this girl she loves, it is far more painful for her to have to witness and live with the feeling of rejection and guilt that came from Arisu's fear in the aftermath.

The final image of her father finally expressing the real tenderness she has longed for. The imagined future of Arisu dating her former teacher well into adulthood, because it's the only model of a relationship Lain has ever seen someone want, because her parents certainly don't seem happy, and she herself didn't get anything out of the boy who kissed her. The final statement, "I will always be with you". As with everything in the series, these can be interpreted many ways. But to me it reads unmistakably as the final moments before suicide.

In any case though, after all that, it seems fairly starkly clear why Lain resonates so strongly with trans people. Contrary to the old saying that all happy people are happy the same way, but all miserable people suffer uniquely, this path to despondence is depressingly common. It is the way out that is unique to everyone who finds themselves there. I hate to say it, although I feel very lucky to say that I have survived being in that place many times--which I think is proof that it is possible to get to the other side and make a good life, despite everything-- I think if it had ended any more neatly or more positively, it just wouldn't feel as honest. It captures the depth of that state of being. That's just what it's like. And as heavy as it is to sit with, I get a lot from being able to see something painfully familiar to me reflected in such a raw way. After all that, a happy ending would just feel disingenuous. I mean, that's my life, and any happy ending they could have written just isn't how it went.

#writing #Serial Experiments Lain #Lain

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scarecrow-supremacy · 3 years

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A/N: Oookieee, so I decided to start writing a new fic bc I have great ideas for a story line. Yet I can’t bring myself I writing an actual beginning. Like I’ve already written some random chapters, but I can’t do anything with them because they don’t really make much sense without the context of the rest of the fic/my ideas. Like this chapters is where the romance/actual x reader gets into actual action. Hopefully you get the gist of what the plot is, and aren’t confused as hell from this part. Sorry if it’s a bit long, it’s around 4.8k-ish words. Enjoy 💜

Hatake Kakashi wasn't one to celebrate his birthday.

He simply thought that they were foolish excuses to let loose and party. To Kakashi, birthdays were no reason to be happy and celebrate. They were just reminders of how long he had endured the pain of living. Each year marked another without the people he once held close in his heart. His father, his sensei, his teammates, and (y/n)...

The day that (y/n) gone on that horrible mission was his special day. The mission he was supposed to go on, but (y/n) filled in for because she wanted him to go celebrate with Gai and the others. So much for having the day of joy...Kakashi thought to himself mournfully.

With a great sigh, he grabbed the last of his belonging, shoving them in his mission pack. He'd promised to take his students out of a group mission for the day, but it had been mostly for selfish reasons. Kakashi had hoped that this would take his mind off of the weight in his soul, yet knowing that his efforts would be futile. The loss would never leave him, it would always follow him like a darned shadow. It would forever haunt him. There was not letting go of the horrors of his past.

Slowly, Kakashi strolled to the gates of Konoha to meet his kids, shoving his hands in his pockets as he mumbled a little tune under his breath. The dark cloudy sky and drizzling rain seemed to mirror how he felt inside.

Drip, drop. Drop, drop. Drop, drop.

Each raindrop fell upon the dirt paths of the town, dampening Kakashi's Jonin uniform. If only he'd gone on that mission, if only he hadn't let (y/n) take his place. If only so many things that happened hadn't. If only he felt whole again. He could feel the heavyweight of guilt on his shoulders, spreading pain throughout his body. Sure, Team 7 filled the void, but they could only do so much. If there is one thing I wish for, it is that these kids will grow up to be happy.

A soft smile played upon Kakashi's face as he approached the three teens. "KAKASHI-SENSEI!" His hyperactive blonde student, Uzumaki Naruto, yelled at him, "YOU'RE LATE-TTEBAYO!" He raised his fist in anger. Sakura glared at both Kakashi and Naruto, slapping the boy's back to calm him down. Off to the side stood Sasuke, his hands in his pockets as he briefly kicked the dirt and pebbles around him to form his clan's symbol. "Usuratonkachi," he grumbled at the group. To be honest, Kakashi did feel a little guilty about keeping the kids waiting for him. They were being held back just because he was wallowing in self-pity. And Kakashi felt ashamed of that; ordering his mind to push his thoughts further to the back of his mind.

Kotetsu and Izumo, guards of the gates, turned to the team and smiled in greeting. "The gate opening mechanism is broken, so we have to manually open the gates," they explained. "Heading out yet again, eh?" Kotetsu chuckled. "I thought you lot just came back from a mission. Ya leaving so soon?" Izumo asked. Naruto pumped his hand into the air, "Yeah! Dattebayo! It's only a C rank, but it'll be fun-ttebayo!"

He's a lot like you, eh Obito, Kakashi's mind wandered as he looked up at the clouded sky, a drop of rain fell upon his nose and slid down his mask. If only you, Minato-sensei, and Rin were here to see us in action. You would be proud.

But what about (y/n)? Part of Kakashi was surprised that he didn't think of her immediately. Did he still believe that she could've been alive? After the Hokage had told him that he'd lost contact with (y/n), Kakashi didn't know what to think. It had been 3,650 days since she left. 3,589 since she was supposed to come back. And 3,529 days since they fully lost contact. What were the chances she'd come back, alive or injured? Kakashi wanted to believe that she was still alive. Was that realistic?

"She's gone, Kakashi! You need to understand that!" He flashed back to when Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai had tried to slap some sense into him. Well actually, Kurenai had slapped him. "Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura gently tugged his sleeve, straining her arm up so her red umbrella would also cover his head. "Are you okay? You've been spacing out a lot lately." She whispered as she looked up at him.

"I'm fine, Rin," Kakashi weakly smiled, "It's nothing that you should worry about." Sakura flashed him a questioning look, "Rin?" Sucking the air, Kakashi's whole body tensed up, "Sorry." He looked away, turning his attention to the bickering Sasuke and Naruto. "Just a little mix-up, Sakura." He put on a fake smile, breaking up the boy's fight. "Let's go, shall we?"

"Alright! Shanaroo!"

"Dattebayo!"

Kotetsu and Izumo went to open the gates but stopped to exchange worrisome glances. "Someone just knocked from the other side of the gates. Which is weird because our list says that we shouldn't be expecting anybody." Izumo knit his eyebrows together. Kotetsu, who had been looking through a glass which allowed him to see the incomer, hastily urging Izumo to help him. "ANBU!" He had barked at his partner, "Bleeding! Dying, wounds, whatever! They need medical attention!" That had caught Kakashi's attention, he got ready to act as the guards opened up the gates, heaving on the rusted hinges. Yet he was not mentally prepared for what awaited on the other side of the grand doors.

There she stood. Uniform torn, stained and ripped up. The wakizashi sword that was strapped to her hip was blunt and scratched, the sheath dented. Skin scratched and bruised, wounds dripping with blood and gore. A long x shaped cut on the inner side of her left thigh. Gasping and choking for air, she started to wobble, blood dribbling down her limbs and stomach. The rain continued to fall, now hard and heavy; burning and searing the wounds of the lady. Yet she still managed to keep her face from wavering In an instant, Kakashi recognized who the woman was based on her cracked porcelain ANBU mask. (y/n).... "Sakura! Go alert the hospital. And you two boys, clear the way for Sakura so she can get there. Quickly!" Kakashi ordered them as he took the heavily wounded woman in his arms. Anger and fear coursed through Kakashi's veins as his heart thumped erratically. He could feel (y/n)'s body twitch in pain. "Izumo, go let Hokage-sama know that Ibara-hime has returned." Kakashi let out one last demand before zipping off to follow his kids.

"Kakashi..." (y/n) mumbled out his name, "Kakashi..." she shakily rose her hands up to gently cup his masked cheeks. "What is it?" He whispered, gently rubbing her skin through a torn patch of her ripped uniform. "Happy birthday, Hatake..." She softly breathed, her tight grip of Kakashi's chest loosened as her eyes dropped closed. Please don't die, (y/n)... I've waited all the fucking years. You aren't leaving me again. A tear formed in Kakashi's eye, flying off with the rain as he bolted towards the hospital. Stay with me a bit longer, will you?

"My sensei will be here any second with an ANBU woman in need of immediate medical attention!" Kakashi heard Sakura's voice quiver as he barged into the hospital. "I'm here, kids. Go to Gai-sensei and stay with him until I'm back." He quickly barked, flashing all of the nurses who flowed into the room a nervous look. "Please, help her. I'm begging you." He pleaded with the staff uncharacteristically. I need her to live. Need. "We do what we can, sir." One of the medic-nin nodded, putting (y/n)'s unconscious body onto the stretcher. If (y/n) lives, that would be the best birthday gift ever.

Kakashi jogged after the nurses and doctors, peering into the emergency clinic room through the window. "I'm sorry, Sir, but you won't be able to visit the lady until all the major injuries have been cleaned up and treated." A male nurse out his hand in his shoulder from behind. "But..! Okay..." Kakashi let out a sigh, "Isn't there any paperwork that needs to be filled out?"

The nurse shook his head, "The Hokage has come and is speaking to one of my colleagues about it. Don't worry about it. You won't have to take care of any of that." He tried to reassure the angsty shinobi, "The woman is part of the ANBU ranks, right? Her mask is of the uniform." Kakashi nodded his head, biting his lip inside of his mask, "Yeah...she is... but it's kinda complicated." The nurse raised his eyebrow but just shrugged. "Can I speak with the Hokage?" The Hatake requested. "Come this way," the other man sighed, leading him away.

Kakashi let out a deep and long sigh as he held (y/n)'s scraped hand in his gloved ones. He had been told by the same nurse from before that (y/n) was in a decent state to accept visitors, yet was still unconscious. He could tell that the nurse was hiding something from him, but he was too worried about (y/n) to give it a second thought. Hesitantly, he brought her hand to his masked lips, gently pressing them against the fabric. "Ya know, (y/n). After you left, I decided to give those goddamn books a try. And you're right, they are addictive. Thanks for the gift," Kakashi sadly chuckled before pausing for a moment.

"Those books, they helped me a lot. They helped me get through my days, just like you told me."

"They also helped me realize something. They helped me realize that I don't hate you. I don't want to hate, and I never should've."

"I've realized that I was such a dick to you at the beginning and that it was all my fault that our relationship became how it was. I regret it... So when you wake up again, I just want to start over again. Maybe not entirely, but just so that we can leave all the hate behind us. How does that sound?"

Kakashi stared at the sleeping (y/n), her chest heaving up and how slowly and rhythmically. It hurt him to see her like that, her skin swollen in the places of the stitches and anointed bruises. "Listen, (y/n). I'd never been able to tell this to you while you're conscious, so I might as well let it out now. I...I love you." Kakashi rightly shut his uncovered eye. "After feeling your loss, my dumbass self finally realized how much you are worth. After they pass on, you and the others were all I had left. But then you also left me, that hurt like hell." His tone started to break.

"Lord Hokage told me about the whole fake-death move, and I was relieved that you weren't gone for good. And then we lost contact, everybody assumed the mission had been finished, and your squad sacrificed your lives for it. I couldn't let the fact that you could be a dead sink in. It didn't feel right. Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai tried to get me out of another depression cycle. Kurenai even went to the lengths of quite literally slapping some sense into me." Kakashi played with a loose strand of (y/n)'s (h/c) hair.

The muscles of (y/n)'s hand twitched ever so slightly. Kakashi's drooping head snapped up; he'd almost fallen asleep in the chair. "(y/n)?" He murmured as her eyes started to flutter, "(y/n)?"

(y/n) chapped lip parted ever so slowly, taking a big breath of air, her (e/c) eyes squinting. "Hatake..?" She shakily managed to mumbled, her voice hoarse and dry. She tried to prop herself up on the bed, but Kakashi eased her back into her resting position. "Rest, (y/n), you're not ready to stress yourself yet." Kakashi to her, "I'll be back with a nurse and some water for you, alright?" (y/n) opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She simply looked down and nodded.

Moments later, Kakashi came back with the nurse and water. "Here," he carefully put the cup to her lip, gently tipping the cup, "Good." He turned to the nurse, who seemed to be scribbling something down from the little monitor to his clipboard. Kakashi's eyes followed the cord attached to it, to the long x shaped hash in (y/n)'s inner left thigh. What worried Kakashi was the anxious look on the nurse's face.

"(l/n)-san, your vitals are doing alright, but you'll have to stay here for a night or two just so that we can keep an eye on something's that may need monitoring." He curtly nodded his head, "Lord Hokage wished to speak to you. So, sir, that means you may have to leave."

Kakashi tried to reason with the other man, but (y/n) reached to weakly squeeze his thigh. "It's okay, Hatake. You can just drop by later." (y/n) tried to smile. "Fine," Kakashi grumbled, leaving the room and letting Hiruzen in.

After what seemed like an eternity, Hiruzen came back out. "How's (y/n)?" Kakashi asked him impatiently. The Hokage put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder as if trying to soothe him, "She'll be better soon. Don't worry, alright." The silver-haired shinobi let out a small grunt, "I know that she'll get better with time. But what about now?"

Kakashi knew that Hiruzen loved (y/n) almost like a daughter, he cared about her deeply. Hence the elaborate cover-ups to protect (y/n) and her squad on the unconventionally lengthy mission. The Hatake could see the sadness that had tried to be tucked away in the Sarutobi's eyes. "The main concern of the moment is the poison in the gash on her left thigh. The medic-nins have tried to extract as much of it as possible, and try to find something that will counteract the effects." The elderly man explained to him. "Did they find an antidote?" Kakashi questioned.

"That is where the problem lies," Hiruzen explained, "There is a certain medicinal herb that is used alongside a jutsu to nullify the effects, as the poison has traces of chakra. We have a few medics on hand who support the skill to perform the jutsu, but we don't have the plant. Even so, that won't be a permanent cure." Kakashi knit his eyebrows together, "How would it not be a perfect cure? Plus, since there are traces of chakra, could we possibly track down the person who created the poison and make them fess up on the cure?" He questioned.

"Great thinking, but..." Hiruzen groaned, "(y/n) said that they performed a self-destruction jutsu just after striking her. He probably thought that it would be in their best interest to take their secrets to the grave with them." Kakashi cursed under his breath, "Fuck... This is terrible."

Hiruzen nodded in agreement, "No duh."

Kakashi's head shot up, "Uh?!"

The elder man's eyes widened, "Did I use the term correctly?! I'm trying to pick up on the phrases the kids are using these days..."

Kakashi gritted his teeth, "Right idea of the meaning, I guess. But the context and timing...wasn't quite fit." Looking ever so slightly dejected, "Oh...alright." Smoothening out the wrinkles in his robe and putting in his cob pipe, "Kakashi, if you are going to stay here with (y/n), could you at least pick up some good food. The food in the hospital canteen is quite bland." Kakashi nodded his head and obliged, only to be stopped in his tracks by Hiruzen.

"Kakashi, I'd like to ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"What caused your change in actions towards (y/n) change so much?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've observed you two whilst you were in the ANBU together, and you never got along that well. And suddenly you act so attached to her, Kakashi. You don't need to answer. It's just that as your leader, I want to understand what is going on in the heads of some of my most trusted people." Hiruzen explained to Kakashi, puffing out a cloud of smoke from his cob pipe.

Kakashi frowned from behind his mask, trying to figure out how to explain his change of feelings in a professional manner. "I think that after I was given the impression that she was gone, I noticed that I cared about her. It made me realize that I was wrong to not see how much she meant in my life." He tried, his voice fading off into a whisper. Hiruzen smiled and nodded, "You really are something else, Kakashi."

Kakashi silently strolled over to Ichiraku's to grab some takeout. The paper lanterns lit the nearly empty streets of Konoha, creating a soft and soothing ambiance. The smell of the rain and moisture still clung to the air, the dirt roads had muddy dampness to them. "Yo! Kakashi, my eternal rival!" A boisterous and friendly voice greeted the said man. "Hey, Gai," Kakashi responded, he noticed his students sitting alongside each other and gave them a quick wave and smile. Naruto and Lee were arguing about who'd get Sakura. Sakura insisted that Sasuke would come around in her favor. Sasuke was quietly eating his food. And Neji and Tenten were discussing a new sword they saw in the windowsill of a weaponry shop.

"I'll take two eggplant miso soups with brown rice noodles," Kakashi leaned over the counter space between Lee and Naruto to order his meal, also effectively stopping the argument. "Thanks, Ayame," he thanked the daughter of Teuchi, owner of the quaint place. "No problem, Kakashi-san!" She chirped.

"Kakashi?" Gai raised his brushy brow, "Your kids told me about what happened this morning..." Kakashi sighed and pulled him aside so that they were at a comfortable distance, "It was (y/n)..." he told his best friend, "She's back and in the hospital because she's not in good health at the moment. I just came here to pick up a meal for her." Kakashi watched as Gai's jaw dropped, "(Y/N) IS ALIVE!" He exclaimed a touch too loud for his eternal rival's taste, "CAN I MEET HER?!" Tears of youthful joy waterfalled down the jumpsuit-clad man's cheeks. "I'll see if you can come tomorrow, alright Gai." Gai smiled broadly, "This is very...unusual. Youthful, nonetheless!" He grinned.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head and nodded, "I'm glad she's back..." he murmured barely loud enough for Gai to hear. Knowingly, Gai patted Kakashi's back. "Oh! Yeah! Happy birthday, my youthful rival!" He gently punched his comrade's shoulder. A smile formed on Kakashi's lips, "Thanks, Gai." He flashed his eccentric friend his signature close-eyed smile.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye, Kakashi! Have a good night!"

Knock knock, Kakashi rapt (y/n)'s door, "Can I come in?"

"Come in," (y/n) murmured, a small moan of pain escaping her lips, "Ouch..."

Kakashi quickly set the takeout on a little table, rushing to (y/n)'s side. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and helped her to the table. "I got us dinner because the food at the canteen isn't that good." He explained with a slight shrug. "Thanks, Hatake," a weak smile formed on her lips. The silvered-haired Jonin served them their meals. "Itadakimasu," they both mumbled.

Heavy tension filled the room as they ate in silence. (y/n) knew that Kakashi had his mask down, but didn't look up. "It's been a while..." Kakashi breathed, in hopes of hearing (y/n) speak, "Too long..." The kunoichi rested her forehead on her palm, "I- Yeah..." she mumbled, eyes growing classier by the second. So much for trying to start a conversation... Kakashi thought sadly as they resumed their meals without a word. The silence seemed to be killed him. Kami, it had been 10 goddamn years! 3650 days since he had gotten to talk to the woman. He missed her. Hell, he could even say that he missed all of their little spats. Hatake Kakashi missed everything about (y/n).

"I missed you..." was all Kakashi mumbled as he pushed his finished food away and pulled up his mask, "All these days, months, and years."

Hot tears slipped down (y/n)'s cheeks, forming a puddle on the table. "I-I came back be-because I didn't want-want to hurt you and the r-rest. Dying on passed down pain to the people who love you. I can't afford to c-carry the guilt of t-that." She mumbled shakily, "I promised to be back, a-and I held up the promise." Kakashi sadly smiled as he awkwardly reached under the table to gently caress (y/n)'s thigh.

"You care about others so much, but you should really take a moment to care about yourself, (y/n)." Kakashi scolded the injured kunoichi, "You had me scared for you; all those gashes and open wounds... You could've died," he knit his eyebrows together in worry. "Don't do that ever again."

(y/n)'s dull smile faltered as Kakashi spoke on, "Now you know how I felt when I saw you doing all those suicidal stunts back then on those missions. It was like you were in a hurry to die... I mean, I was too, but you did some seriously dumb shit," she giggled emptily. Kakashi sweat-dropped, "I see... I guess you are right..." (y/n) rolled her (e/c) eyes as the masked shinobi let out a drained sigh, "I'm always right, Hatake."

"Really, (l/n)? You've been through torturous pain, and you still act like a child." Kakashi groaned, "All these years..." (y/n) shot him a hard glare, "All these years and you still think you're in charge of me." He cast a confused look, "It's my duty to protect you, as a comrade." As a comrade... "I guess, but you're just annoying, Hatake," she huffed.

"I'm sorry about ruining your birthday with my arrival and stuff. I probably ruined your plans with those kids." (y/n) looked down, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them, "I could hear you guys through the gate; they seemed pumped about going out. I'm sorry, I didn't think about the flaws in my whole plan." Kakashi's head snapped up from its resting position on the table, "It's fine, they don't even know it's my birthday," he paused, "But you planned to come here? As in, today in particular. With all those injuries, (l/n), you should've just tried to take care of yourself. My birthday isn't as important as your health."

The (y/n) shook her head, "I was going to stay at a small village pretty far from here before finally coming home. I planned to just heal up there and see how things went from there. I even considered settling down there. But that just didn't feel right," (y/n) face set in a frown, "Once I realized that your birthday wasn't that far off, I decided that I couldn't stay and needed to come back. I doubted I would even live to be back. But here I am..." she said with a soft wince of pain. "It was terrible, I hated every second of it," Her (s/t) fingers made their way to the raw mark on her inner thigh, “I’d already lost so much; there was nothing for me to lose at that point.” Kakashi's face softened as he understood what she meant. (y/n) wasn't put in the mission alone, she had her team. They all must've been killed with time.

"Ouch!" (y/n) yelped as she let out a moan of pain, clenching the fabric of her hospital-issued pajama pants. “Shh..." Kakashi whispered into her ear, quickly leaning in to soothe her, "What's causing all this pain?" He asked with a frown as (y/n) bit her lip. "It's the thing in your thigh, right? Lord Hokage and the nurse told me a bit about it. But I still don't fully understand it and how it can't fully be cured."

(y/n) buried her face in her hands, "Oh..." She mumbled, "The poison can't de be removed because it's already been inside of me too long. And since it is laced with chakra, the properties of it aren't completely like normal poison." She blinked back the stinging agonizing tears in her eyes, "The herb that I need is just going to ease the effects in my body, whilst the jutsu will seal it from triggering anything that was layered in with the chakra." (y/n) explained. Kakashi could tell she was trying her hardest to keep her face straight, pushing back the pain and hurting inside. "The thing is–"

"What?" Kakashi asked the pained woman, his tone soft and soothing, "I can help if I know what's going on."

Warily, (y/n) agreed to speak on, "The place where the mission was stationed at was just underground of the nuke-nin outpost I was from. And the guy who poisonous me was one of the other kids' experiments were done on, along with me. He was a few years older than us, and his name was Hiroto Myoga. His parents were in owed debt to the rogues, they were forced into being test subjects until they died. Which left Hiroto in the nuke-nin's hands." She rubbed the temple of her head pushing away the images that sent a shiver down her spine, "Something similar had happened in the case of my parents and me. But unlike me, when the ANBU did the raid, Hiroto was snuck away just in time."

Kakashi's heart sank as he heard what she was telling him. (y/n) had never known much about her past, the damned curse seal had caused. “Since he was older than most of the other kids there, the nuke-nin's of the outpost decided that they needed to trust their information. It was all precautionary, just in case they were taken down. And that's just what happened. Hiroto was the one ordered to put memory restriction curse seals on us, the kids, before he fled to be underground, where the actual harm was being done. That meant that all this time Hiroto had been working in those old plans." (y/n) closed her eyes tightly, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

With a subtle groan, Kakashi supported (y/n) up from the chair and rested her in her cot. "Don't stress yourself, (y/n). You can just tell me later; it's getting late anyway." He told her. "It's fine, Hatake. Letting this out helps me feel better." She reassured him.

"The ANBU caught wind of suspicious activity in that area and decided to send out a squad to go check out. I overheard Danzō arguing with Lord Hokage about it, and got interested. It was really dumb, but I just wanted to go to learn more about what happened in my past. I learned, but that can with lots of twists and turns. 10 years of going undercover..." (y/n)'s (e/c) eyes met Kakashi's single uncovered black one, "It wasn't long before Hiroto became suspicious of us, slowly narrowing the group down till it was just me." (y/n) took a deep breath and continued, "After Hiroto killed himself in our final fight, my curse seal was lifted. That's how I suddenly was able to remember all of the past. All of it."

A pit formed in Kakashi's stomach as he watched (y/n) cry in silence. He wanted to help her feel better, he really did. But he was afraid that he'd make things worse; dealing with feelings just wasn't his thing. "I'm here for you, (l/n). We've been through so much together, you've helped me through it all," Kakashi tried to reassure her, "It's my turn to look after you. Please, just don't cry." He reached out his hand to brush a tear-off of her streaked cheeks.

“Are you okay with me staying here for the night?" Kakashi asked (y/n) as they sat at the bay window, looking down upon the empty moonlit streets of Konoha. The soft light cast down by the moon seemed to make everything look beautiful, serene, and at peace. "(l/n)?" He asked again, turning to look back at her. A gentle smile played on Kakashi's lips as he saw that she'd fallen asleep. (y/n) had been through so much throughout the day, she not only deserved to rest for a long time but also needed to. "Good night, (y/n)..." he carefully lifted the sleeping beauty and placed her on the cot. Sitting back at the bay seat, Kakashi took in a deep breath. "I love you."

She's finally back.

She's finally home.

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givemeyourcrunchbars · 3 years

Text

Sequestered

Fern x f!reader

If there are any warnings I need to add, please let me know :)

The weight of the crown on your head was too much to bear today. You gently set it down onto the grass, next to you in the shade of the giant oak trees above you.

If someone were to ask you what it's like to be a princess, you would say it's a curse. For the past 15 years you've been raised, your father was stern and barely paid any attention to you. Suffering from neglect, you slowly watched him become more and more corrupt with power, forcing the entire kingdom to stay within its walls. As far as the common people knew, the outside was a mysterious place not to be messed with.

That's what power does to people. To have all these abilities at your hands, is a great responsibility. But most rulers toss those away, like a bag of trash being disposed into the garbage can.

You sighed, gazing across to the opposite side of the clearing you were sitting in. You raised your head to look up at the sky. Oh, what I would do to have a different life...

The rustling of leaves caught your attention. You gasped, quickly backing away into the shelter of the trees. Dad can't catch me being here!

"Hey."

You froze as relief washed over you. It wasn't your father.

You weren't allowed to leave the kingdom. Finding loopholes wasn't easy, so you didn't know what you'd do if he found out.

Carefully, you stood up, squinting at the figure standing at the opposite end of the meadow. Slowly, they- or it- stepped into the sunlight. You recognized him from your past adventures. Fern the Human.

"Hi," you replied warily. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know," he said. "Just exploring." Fern wore the same expression he did normally, a blank set of eyes and his mouth set in a straight line.

You nodded, your eyes darting around the clearing, at anything but him. You rarely interacted with outsiders, especially since you weren't allowed outside of your kingdom. So you didn't know how to act. All your social skills started chipping away because you were forced to stay inside all the time. "Princess duties".

"I haven't seen you around here before," the grass boy remarked. "Who are you?"

"Who am I?" I repeated. That was a good question. Every single decision I've had to make and every emotion I've had was decided for me. So much so, that I wasn't sure there was any "me" left.

"I'm Y/N," you replied. Fern tilted his head.

"Where are you from?"

"Um." You struggled to find the words. He couldn't know about the kingdom, or else you would find yourself kicked out. What was even the purpose of telling him? It could only end badly. His curiosity would get the better of him, driving him him to see the kingdom for himself. Would Fern even try to save us?

Even though you wanted to rescue your people badly, the thought of them roaming around aimlessly in the Land of Ooo scared you. They barely knew anything about the outside, and the only information they did know altered their perspective to think of it in a bad light. Besides, what could Fern do to help? He's just one person.

"It's none of your business," you ended up blurting out. "I have to go." Your father wanted you home for the evening anyway. For what, he didn't say.

You turned away before you could hear Fern's reply, dashing off into the dense forest.

Taking a deep breath, you began to form an image of a raven inside your mind. Shapeshifting was still something you weren't good at. You were supposed to follow a certain set of rules as a princess, one of which being that you couldn't shapeshift into your raven form in the presence of other people. It was seen as impolite.

Focus on shapeshifting! You commanded yourself. Finally, you were able to fly, ruffling your wings a bit. You missed being able to soar.

"Wait!" Fern's voice yelled from behind you, his footsteps trodding through the layers of leaves on the forest floor. You sighed, flapping up to the tree tops and taking off. A feeling of dread gradually grew in your chest, facing the reality that you had to go back to your secluded life, with people that ignored and misunderstood you.

As the dark green leaves of the forest zoomed by beneath your feet, you began to wonder whether you should've listened to what Fern had to say. Eh, it probably wasn't important.

Directing your thoughts back to your destination, you vowed to come back to your happy place as soon as possible. It helped clear your head. Hopefully, Fern won't be there next time. The idea of talking to people made you uncomfortable. The people that you've trusted in the past have all either broken your trust, or just didn't care about you at all.

There's a crown here in the bushes, Fern observed, lifting the heavy piece of gold. It was a big ring, with an arm extending upwards, holding a small, rugged black crystal. Interesting.

Turning it over in his hands, something strange caught his eye. A carving on the back of the crown. It was barely illegible, but Fern could make out one name. Y/N.

"Where is your crown?" The Raven King hissed angrily. "The suitors are already here!"

"I don't know, Dad!" You frantically racked your mind, trying to remember where you had left it. A princess' crown was a part of her, as a role model and a symbol. But this time, it represented worth.

"Why are you making me marry someone I don't even know anyway?" You hurriedly glanced at your father, brows furrowed. Your father had invited a group of suitors to compete for your hand in marriage. They desired only the princess' heart, but it wasn't true love, like what you dreamed of as a child. They just wanted land, wealth, and power. Marrying you was their key to a happy life. Without your label as a princess, they would have no opportunity at all.

"You know very well why!" Your father growled. "This is going to be beneficial for the kingdom! Don't you want me to prosper?"

You started walking down the spiraling staircase that lead to the main hallways, unable to stay calm any longer. "I want the people to prosper," you replied, sending a spine-chilling glare to your father behind you. Before he could respond, you stomped away, into the main hallway where a line of antsy suitors stood waiting.

You definitely have a thing for walking out on people.

"Heya, Fern!" A boy wearing a worn, dual-toned green backpack greeted Fern, holding open the door that had separated the two just moments before. "Jake just made some meatloaf! Want some? It has your favorite- I mean our favorite garnishes." Finn grinned.

"No thanks," Fern replied, distracted. His eyes wandered all around the giant treehouse that stood over him, almost menacingly. Despite what Fern wanted to think, there was something about it that made him uneasy. When he thought of the treehouse, he thought of Finn, which in turn caused him to obsess over the fact that he wasn't Finn. Then who was he?

"No probs." Finn sounded a little disappointed, but cheered up when Jake called out that the meatloaf was ready from somewhere inside the house.

"By the way, can I ask you something?" Fern asked, taking something out of his backpack, which tumbled to the ground, causing him to groan in frustration. Finn turned back to his grassy friend while taking a plate of food from the unseen Jake. "What's up?"

He gasped when he saw the golden crown gleaming in the sunlight. "That belongs to one of the princesses!" He picked it up and handed it back to Fern.

Fern nodded, stowing it in his backpack. "I found it in the forest near Tree Trunks' house. I think this girl dropped it," he said.

"Whahf girl?" Finn said, trying to chew meatloaf at the same time. "PB? Fire Princess? Slime P?"

"No." Fern shook his head. "I've never seen her before, and honestly," he said, scratching the back of his neck. "She was scared of me." He sounded frustrated, his voice trailing off.

"Dude-"

"Why doesn't anything ever work out?!" Fern said in anguish. He curled his fingers in and out of his palm, trying to release the tension trapped in his mind.

"Calm down, dude," Finn exclaimed. "I can help you find her, don't worry! I've never seen this crown before either, so we can go together." He placed a hand on Fern's shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"No!" Fern protested. "I wanna do it myself," he said, softer. "Can you just tell me how to find her?"

Finn looked taken aback for a second at his grassy friend's outburst, but nodded regardless. "You can ask the Candy People and the other kingdoms, they probably know who owns that crown." He handed Fern a map of the Land of Ooo, sketched out on a yellowed piece of paper.

Saying their goodbyes, Finn left Fern on his solo quest to find the mysterious princess.

The long and chaotic day was finally over. You sank down to the floor, your back against the door to your room. You stared at the king-sized bed. I hate this. I hate everything.

After you left your father standing on the stairs, you had awkwardly walked into the main hall. But that must have been the last straw for your father, because he still didn't join you, even after five minutes. He ended up sending a replacement to accompany you after a long time of waiting. You wished that the suitors didn't keep glancing at the spot where your crown was supposed to sit while you stood with your hands clasped in front of you, staring at the doorway your father was going to follow you through.

I still have to get the crown back, you thought. Where did I leave it? The only place I would've lost it would be... Then you realized. The clearing! Of course! Oh no, I have to go there right now!

You raced over to the small window in your bedroom, peeking your head out. Seeing practically no one outside, you transformed into your raven form and hopped on the windowsill. Suddenly, an object was hurled at you from below. Looking down, you saw a small child chucking pieces of corn at you.

"Get out of there, you stupid crow!" He yelled. Close enough.

You carefully flapped your wings, flying high above the kingdom. As soon as you were out of reach, the child gave up trying to knock you out of the sky and returned to his home, resuming the quiet atmosphere the kingdom always held during evenings.

Night had almost fallen over Ooo when you finally arrived at your meadow. Landing in the spot where you had sat earlier that day, you turned back into a human and rummaged through the bushes for your long lost crown. As the minutes ticked by, you began to grow more frustrated. Where is it?! If I lose it forever, I'm done for.

"Huh?" You said out loud. Prying apart the branches of a blueberry bush, you found a few grass blades attached to the rough leaves, reminding you of Fern. You stood up. Why not just see if Fern had it? He wasn't the scavenger type, but something as mysterious as an unknown princess' crown was sure to fascinate him.

Ugh, the sun is setting. You sighed in defeat, vowing to visit Fern the next day to take back the circlet. Another day that's ending, another gloomy morning to look forward to. But this time, you had a mission to accomplish.

#adventure time fern x reader #adventure time #fern x reader #adventure time x reader

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