#and it was written and finished less than 10 hours later lmao
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"trick or kiss"
written for day 17 of october for @jegulus-microfic with the prompt "trick"
689 words!
James came up to Regulus and said “trick or treat!” with a huge goofy grin on his face. Regulus rolled his eyes; however, he couldn’t help but laugh. He handed James a handful of candy, even though he was supposed to save it for the kids later.
“Jamie, stop eating all the candy babe, we have actual trick-or-treaters coming later to our door. We’ve already been through half of the two bags we bought for tonight, thanks to you.” Regulus pretends to be upset, but really, he can’t be when it comes to James.
James frowns. “Are you saying I’m not an actual trick-or-treater? How dare you!” James says, mock offended.
In his defense, he is dressed up like one. He was wearing his old Hogwarts robes from a long time ago. Regulus suggested he burn them, as Regulus had done with his, but James was a sentimental bloke and couldn't bear the thought of getting rid of them. It may have been 10 sizes too small, but James didn't care. It may have looked a little goofy on James, but again, he didn’t care.
Regulus supposed that's what he liked about James. James had enough care for everything and everyone, but never when it came to himself in negative ways. He didn’t care that he was married to a guy, wearing a childish costume, and had a personality unlike the sun; he just went through life living and loving every moment of it.
Regulus kisses James briefly on his lips before returning to the task at hand. It was still light outside, so the kids - or adults - were not quite prowling the streets yet but would be soon. James ate a piece of the candy that he had gotten earlier and smiled.
“I had forgotten how good dark chocolate was, we never have any in the house.” he says, after he finished the piece.
Regulus groaned. “That's because it’s nasty.”
“You take that back, dark chocolate is the finest stuff there is. It’s not less concentrated like milk chocolate is, and it isn't that fake stuff they call white chocolate.”
Regulus scoffed. “I enjoy my ‘less-concentrated chocolate’, thank you very much.”
“Whatever.” James says, and then grabs the bucket to scout for some more dark chocolate.
“James.” Regulus pulls the bucket out of his grasp, shoo-ing him away
“I know I know,” he concedes. He moves around back into the kitchen, his robes swishing as he moves. He comes back with a couple pieces of the stuff. “That’s why I stashed away some for later,” he smiles sheepishly.
Regulus sighs, but smiles at it. Of course he did.
“I didn’t want to have to deplete it this early though, I’ll have to remedy that sooner than later.” He thinks thoughtfully.
“Just stay out of this bucket, I can’t have any more disappearing, otherwise I’m sending you out to get some more tonight. I want to make sure the kids have enough.” He says, looking down at the bucket.
James moves over to where Regulus is looking a little too intently down at the bucket.
“Reg, honey, the kids will have enough. I’ll even give some of my stash away if I have too.” He moves his hand to grab Regs’ chin gently and guide it up to where their eyes meet. “Don’t worry about it.” He leans it, nose nuzzling nose.
Regulus dips his head to meet James in a kiss. His kisses always manage to sweep him off his feet, instantly wanting to bend over backwards for the other. He supposes that's what love is. They stay connected like that for a minute, mindful that everyone can see them through the windows on the side of the door they are standing right beside.
Regulus hears rustling sounds, and picks up on the sound of candy being rifled through. “James,” Regulus starts.
James pulls his hand back, mockingly innocent. “Just one piece?” he asks with a puppy dog face on. And how could Regulus ever say no to that precious face of his. He reluctantly hands him a piece of candy, and James repays him with a kiss.
not me posting todays only like an hour before the day ends lmao! anyways, have a great day lovelies <3
-a.s.
#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#starchaser#sunseeker#jeggy#jegulus fluff#regulus x james#james x regulus#potter-blacks#jegulus fic#jegulus microfic#trick#addisonstars#addisonstars mircofic tag
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Memories of a Little Boy
1873 words, Carver & Malcolm Hawke featuring his relationship with Hawke and Bethany.
Brothers can be a pain in the ass, especially when you're the one that always seems to get in trouble. Carver talks about the latest problem his brother is causing with their father.
[read on ao3]
“Go away,” Carver shouted, kicking the sticks he’d been building with aside in frustration as the entire thing crumbled to the ground again. Garrett just poked his tongue out. “This is why nobody likes mages.”
“Carver!” he heard their mother snap and he spun in alarm, not realising she had exited the house, let alone moved close enough to hear them.
Of course she’d heard him and not seen Garrett being a pest. It always happened like that.
“Apologise to your brother,” she told him, the look on her face telling him that he was in big trouble. But Carver stood silently looking at her, his fists balled defiantly by his sides. His lip wobbled but he clenched his jaw, determined not to let any of them see it.
Garrett should be apologising to him. He was the one using his stupid magic to make things impossible for Carver for absolutely no reason except to be the most annoying person in the world.
“He deserved it,” he said, watching his mother’s frown deepen. He knew he was in trouble, knew he’d only get in more trouble by refusing to apologise, but he couldn’t. Apologising was like admitting he was wrong and he wasn’t.
Tears burned in his eyes, threatening to fall and he tried to blink them away. The effort of holding them back made his throat hurt.
Garrett folded his arms, standing beside their mother. He poked his tongue out again and Carver stamped his foot, frustrated.
“You always take his side,” he yelled. “You like him better because he’s a mage. But I’d be happier if the Templars came and took him away.”
He knew he’d gone too far but he felt like sometimes it was true and the words were out there now. Determined not to let either of them see him cry, he turned and ran, heading away from the house, hoping he wouldn’t run into anybody else.
“Carver Aristide Hawke!” he heard their mother yell after him, the full name further compounding evidence that he was in Big Trouble. “You come back here right now.”
Maybe by the time he came back, she’d be less mad and he wouldn’t be in as much trouble.
Maybe he wouldn’t come back. That’d show them.
There was a rocky hill near the lake outside the village and Carver found himself there, tucked in behind a boulder where he could keep himself slightly hidden from the main road. He didn’t know how he felt, really. Angry yes, at Garrett, at their mother, at himself. Upset. Frustrated. He felt like he was shaking.
A tuft of grass grew nearby, almost out of arm’s reach and he scowled at it, imagining it was Garrett’s head. If he focused hard enough, maybe he’d be able to do something magic to it. Set it on fire. Freeze it. Shake it out of the ground or suck the life out of it like mages could apparently do.
Nothing happened.
Nothing ever happened when he tried. Not like the others. Not like Garrett or Bethany.
He ripped the grass out of the ground instead, flinging it away as hard as he could.
“Whoa there,” somebody said and Carver curled in on himself, legs tucked up against his chest. “Careful, Junior. You’ll take somebody’s head off.”
His father came into view beside the rock. He didn’t look angry but Carver didn’t want to take any chances. If he was here, then Mother must have told him that something had happened. He just hoped she hadn’t told him what Carver had said.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked.
The urge to cry was still there and Carver didn’t trust himself to answer. Instead he just shook his head. He really wasn’t sure if he was saying no, I don’t mind or no, you can’t, but his father sat beside him anyway.
“Want to talk about it?”
Carver just pulled out another tuft of grass, throwing that one away too. It didn’t go anywhere near as far as he hoped, the weight of the plant not enough to stop it from falling frustratingly short.
His father pressed something against his hand and he took it silently. A rock, one of the small fragments broken from the larger rocks around them.
“This one’s a bit heavier than grass. Might travel a little further,” he said as Carver wrapped his fingers around it. Carver glanced at him quickly, looking away when he thought their eyes might meet, pulling his limbs tighter around himself. “Just aim that way, away from the path. We don’t want to be responsible for any injuries.”
The edge of the rock was rough under Caver’s skin as he ran his thumb along the broken edge. He finally gave in, releasing himself slightly from the ball he’d curled into, pulling his arm back as he threw it as far he could, the distance much more satisfying than the grass had been. Before he even had time to lower his arm, another rock was being offered.
“Think you can make it all the way to the water?” his father challenged him, lifting his own rock. “I bet I can.”
None of their rocks made it even close to the water, but Carver didn’t really care. It felt good to throw them, like he was throwing parts of his anger and frustration away with every pebble.
“Hey Junior, this one looks like a heart,” his father said, holding the rock up to Carver. Carver did his best not to smile as he took it.
“Can I keep it?” he asked shyly and his father laughed, nodding as Carver slipped the rock into his pocket, flipping it between his fingers. It was the perfect size to hold.
“So Junior, ready to tell me what happened yet?”
“Garrett was using his magic on me,” Carver said, still fiddling with the rock in his pocket, trying to stop his mood from dipping too much again. “I was trying to build a wall so Bethany and I could be knights attacking a castle and he set one of my sticks on fire. And then he kept making the ground shake so they’d fall over. And he wouldn’t stop even though I kept telling him to.”
“Ah. We’ve been practicing that one,” his father said. “I wondered why he was so enthusiastic about practicing it. I’ll talk to him about that.”
“He always does things like that. But then I always get in trouble. Mother didn’t even want to hear what happened. She just yelled at me when he was the one who did something wrong.”
Carver’s lip wobbled as he gripped his new rock tightly. He ran his thumb over the smooth surface, rubbing circles against it.
“Must have been frustrating,” he said and Carver sniffed, trying to stop his nose from running like it was threatening to do. He nodded.
“I didn’t mean what I said though. About nobody liking mages or the templars taking him away. I’d miss him if that happened.”
“I know. And I’m sure Garrett does too. ” His father wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in for a sideways hug. “It’s easy to say things you don’t mean when you’re angry. But it’s important to be careful. You can’t always take things back once they’re said or done.”
“I know.” Carver looked down at the ground. He’d felt guilty about it ever since the words had left his mouth. “Why do you all get to be magic though? Why am I the only one who isn’t?”
When he and Bethany were younger, they’d pretend to be mages like their father, bravely casting their spells in the privacy of their own homes, with nobody around to wonder how the Hawke children knew so much about magic. Then Garrett had discovered his power and the twins had been fascinated, wondering what it was like, wondering if they would be magic too or if they’d be like their mother.
They shared so much that they always imagined they’d share their magic or lack thereof as well. But then Bethany had thrown somebody across a field trying to protect Carver and now he sometimes felt like he was losing her. Instead of the two of them playing together, she’d disappear with Garrett and their father to practice, doing Maker knows what, while he was left behind.
Now, instead of Carver and Bethany, a united force against the world, against Garrett, he was the one on the outside.
He’d tried so hard to make something magic happen, so that he could be like his sister, practicing with his father and his siblings, but no matter how hard he tried, how hard he’d practiced, nothing had ever happened. Bethany had told him how it felt, tried to teach him, but he was starting to lose hope.
“I don’t think anybody really knows how it works,” his father said. “It’s not always a blessing, Junior. It can be scary and dangerous and it’s forever. You’d always be looking over your shoulder, forever.”
Carver couldn’t help but think he didn’t care. He could face that danger with Bethany, both of them together. It wouldn’t matter, not if they were together. But instead, she was facing it alone.
“You have an important job too, Junior,” his father said. “There’s lots of ways to protect people without magic. Things you can learn to do when you don’t already have magic. Maybe we can practice those some more if you’d like to learn to fight.”
Carver looked at him, nodding with wide eyed enthusiasm. They’d done play fighting before but never proper teaching, and he liked the idea of that.
And what use would magic be against a sword? Maybe he’d finally get the upper hand on Garrett.
“Alright, tell you what, kiddo,” he said, ruffling Caver’s hair. “We head back and I’ll see what weapons I can find for you some time. You ready to go?”
“Can we start now?” asked Carver, still full of enthusiasm as he bounced to his feet. The rock in his pocket bounced against his leg as his father laughed.
“Maybe not today,” he said. “It’ll take time to find something and I’ll have a think about the best way we’re going to practice. I’m a little rusty with a sword, haven’t needed one much. But we’ll find something, won’t we, Carv?”
Carver nodded, a grin spreading across his face. Maybe he couldn’t do magic but he could protect his family in another way. Maybe he could be the best warrior in the Hawke family.
“You’ll still need to apologise to your brother and mother though.”
Carver frowned, his lower lip stuck out.
“Fine,” he said.
But even the idea of that, of admitting that he was wrong even though it was definitely Garrett’s fault, wasn’t enough to outshine his new excitement as he took his father’s hand and they headed home.
If being a mage was so dangerous, then maybe the reason he wasn’t one was because it was his job to keep his family safe instead.
Maybe he wasn’t ever meant to be Carver Hawke the mage.
Maybe he was meant to be Carver Hawke the warrior, protector of his family instead.
#i am once again emotional about#carver hawke#malcolm hawke#carver and malcolm#this idea barged its way into my head at 1:40pm on monday when i was driving to a work meeting#and it was written and finished less than 10 hours later lmao#gremfic
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A/n: Trevor is my favorite... so enjoy ;) Also as I’m writing and looking at the other a-z I’ve written. I can see I missed a few letters in some of them lmao.
Trevor
Aftercare
Trevor is a tad bit indolent with his aftercare. He likes to lay there with his partner, usually behind them or on his side. Just so he can plant soft kisses on your back and shoulders. He’s one to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to his broad chest.
Body Part
For himself, I can see Trevor liking his hands and forearms. His hands are strong and warm, they’re what keep you safe from harm. He also knows he has an angular jaw. He likes when you trace your fingers along his chin and jawline.
On his s/o, Trevor can’t seem to choose because he likes everything. Relishing the fact that he has you naked and in his hands. But, I suppose if he had to pick it would be your thighs. He loves to squeeze them, bite them and lay his head in your lap. His stubble tickles when he’s in between them.
Cum
It’s very thick and hard to swallow at first, it’s not very sticky but don’t let it dry cause it’ll be a bitch to try and get out later. Fucking cements over lmao. Despite that it surprisingly tastes great and it isn’t very salty. He says it the beer and ale he drinks that makes it tastes so...intoxicating.
Dirty Secret
In his younger days whilst traveling around, he would often drink himself into a coma just to get to sleep at night. He does it less now that he has the company of Sypha. But one night while staying in an inn he saw this servant girl working down in the tavern. As the night went on, Trevor would catch her stealing suggestive glances his way. Trevor tried to ignore it but he couldn’t, it had been ages since his last lay and he was definitely aching for the touch of a woman. So, that night he invited her to his room. He had every intent on fucking her filthy but...didn’t? Or rather he couldn’t, not the way he intended. She had brought him a complimentary tankard of ale. She drugged him, tied him up to the bed post and had her way with him. In the midst of the haze that was inflicted on him he could see through cloudy vision that she was robbing him. She took everything. The next morning he woke up still tied down and with an intense headache. He had to call for help, it was extremely embarrassing and when he was asked what happened he didn’t say. It’s a dirty little secret he’s taking to the grave. He actually saw the girl again but didn’t have the heart to go confront her about it.
Experience
He’s got it under his belt, he’s not a horn dog but he’s slept around enough to know what he’s doing. How to do it right, how to do it even better. As well as knowing what he likes and what turns him on. Surely there will never be disappointment when sleeping with Trevor. Unless he’s completely wasted.
Favorite Position
Kneeling missionary, he likes hovering over you. Your back on the ground while he’s thrusting into you at an angle that’s extremely difficult to not let drive you mad. He likes looking at your face, he likes seeing your chest heave and your lips parted. It makes him hard and his thrusts harder. He also likes it when you’re on top riding him, he likes it playful and a bit rough so do whatever you want to him.
Goofy
It’s not overly silly with him but you can’t have sex with Trevor and not laugh. He likes to joke about how flustered he makes his you. This man is so much fun, but when the night calls for passion. He makes you giggle a little less and moan and whimper a lot more.
Hair
He’s mildly hairy at best. He’s got a happy trail but surprisingly very little chest hair. I’m not gonna lie you might catch a pube going down on him lmao. Which will make him actually trim, but very little. He likes having quite a bit of hair down there.
Intimacy
He can be very intimate, it won’t ever be awkward with him. He makes sure you’re comfortable and let you know that he adores you when his words aren’t enough. Trevor is likely very sensual too, so it’s not always about an orgasm with him.
Jack-Off
He does it, not very often he’s usually good at holding it off while he’s traveling. It doesn’t resonate when he has to climb through shit pipes and fight drunks at taverns who have a personal vendetta against his family. But, when he’s finally relaxed and not dealing with any imminent stress or danger it sets in. He can’t ignore it once he starts think about it and it tends to help him feel better.
Kink
Trevor likes bondage, has an oral fixation when it comes to his partner. He loves their lips and mouth. Suck/lick on his fingers playfully or do the same to yours and he’ll just stare. He doesn’t fancy hurting his partner but he will choke playfully. He also likes to Roleplay, I could see him being into fucking you dressed up as a nun. His dirty talk is better than anyone else’s too, it’s probably bc he swears a lot.
Location
Back of the wagon, anywhere you’ll be covered and undisturbed. He doesn’t mind getting caught but he doesn’t want to have a too high risk of it happening. Mainly because he wants to finish what he’s started with you and because he likes being thorough with his fucking. He doesn’t care if people hear though lmao.
Motivation
When he’s relaxed and is able to let his guard down without any fear of something crazy or outlandish happening he will fuck as much as you want and may even ask for it on his own. His libido is medium to high depending on the day. During the winter it’s much higher for some reason? Maybe it’s the need to keep a regular body temperature.
No
Nothing insanely public, he won’t do anything they involves a risk of life endangerment. Like fucking in the middle of the night outside in the forest where night creatures run amuck. Sex is supposed to be fun, adventurous and experimental. No excess adrenaline pls, be gets enough of that already. Other than that he’ll probably do whatever you ask for.
Oral
A receiver however he can give, he’s good if he’s walked through it; a bit messy but still decent. He can definitely make your toes curl a few times if he’s really into it. But, nothing beats him seeing his your lips wrapped around his dick. It’s thick too, so if you can take the whole thing then he’ll blank out. He loves how it makes him weak in the knees and writhe a bit when he’s sitting. Trevor will gladly face fuck you. If you swallow he’ll do anything you want I swear lmao.
Pace
Given Trevor’s size, he has to go slow. He doesn’t want to hurt you, he wants to make you feel good. His pace quickens the more adjusted you become. His thrusts are deep and extremely filling, there’s no part of you that will be left untouched and stretched out.
Quickie
Yeah he’s down, definitely down to fuck. All you need to do in those small moments of relaxation and peace that you both share together while on the road traveling, is to ask. He’s down to have you to himself during these moments and they’re surprisingly sensual and intimate.
Risk
Not into it, I mean he might fuck in risky places but he definitely prefers not to. He’s always on edge and needs to relax and if he wants to really enjoy the time he has with you, he wants to do it risk free.
Stamina
If he rushes, two-three rounds with a 10 minute refractory period. If he takes his time, about 4-6 rounds and that is not counting when the sun comes up. One round lasts between 35 minutes to two hours with him, maybe three if y’all are getting kinky.
Toy
I don’t believe he owns any ‘toys’ with the exception of his whip. He won’t hit you with it lmao but he will tie you up with it.
X-Ray
He’s got girth, 4in inches thick he’s a bit above average in length aground 7.5in maybe 8in. He as a prominent vein going up the underside of his shaft to the base of his head. It would be wise to listen to him when he says take your time.
Yearning
His yearning is about average, possibly above average with his s/o constantly around. The Belmont has an unbelievable amount of self control, except when he’s drunk lmao.
Zzz
He has trouble sleeping when he’s alone but, after the act and when he’s with you cuddled up in bed he’ll KO and will happily sleep through the night. Though there are times when he’ll wake up during the night and his movements will stir you. Just hold him close and tell him it’ll be okay and he’ll go back to sleep!
#castlevania fanfiction#castlevania trevor#castlevania#imagines castlevania#trevor castlevania#trevor belmont#trevor#castlevania x reader#trevor x reader#trevor belmont x reader
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7-10 ( habit meme ! )
——— GET TO KNOW ME / roleplaying habits
7. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?
i looove getting up early (like... before sunrise) to write. i love getting up early in general tbh. my mind is just so FOCUSED when i intentionally wake up early, and it’s really easy to fill up my headspace with a whole agenda of things to do and knock out (see: rp drafts and memes). and the bonus of having all of these extra hours to get those things done and sometimes watch the sunrise while i’m at it?? immaculate. chef’s kiss. incomparable. unfortunately i haven’t had a lot of mornings like that since the endless lockdowns kind of threw my schedules out of loop, and since moving back to the states last year, i’ve been around my family more so i’ve had a lot less time for myself during the day. i've been doing most of my rp writing in the evenings and at night because that’s usually when i’ve had more time to write anything and to message/respond to ims. sometimes i’ll have really strong motivation to write when i’m not around my laptop or can’t physically get away from what i’m doing to write, so i’ll open up the notes app on my phone to jot down really brief thoughts or a rough layout of a thread reply! that happens all the time lmao.
8. how does tiredness affect your writing?
i can’t do it. ☹ if i’m tired, i usually do the best i can with a reply— i’ll finish it (or get somewhere that i, in my tired state, will think resembles being finished), but i draft it rather than post it right away so that i can review later on for typos or contradictions with past replies or inconsistencies with partner’s muse’s history. glaring errors like that. if i’m tired tired tho lmaoooo gg. i open up a draft and stare at my screen for the next two hours while my mind replays a soundbite of whatever tiktok video i last watched.
9. have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?
i tried to do it one night because i was genuinely really curious to see if my replies would be any different? or if i’d have galaxy brain-induced writing?? i wasn’t planning to post any finished replies immediately lol (see above with how i usually draft my replies if i’d been really tired when i wrote them) BUT it was the same night my siblings and i went bar-hopping in nyc and like........ the only writing i got done that night in that little hotel room was the spam of texts i sent the guy from my program whom i apparently had a lot of unresolved mixed thoughts about. long story short— since that night, i have not tried again to write when i am anything beyond tipsy! really love that for me!! self care!!!
10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?
i feel like i’m always proof-reading as i write! i like making sure that sentences flow well and that there’s a good, comfortable-sounding mix of long vs short sentences or sentence fragments (because lbr i use those a lot lmaooo). i like to make sure the dialogue sounds the way cho would say something and like to read and re-read what i’ve written every few sentences to make sure it’s easy for my rp partner to understand. when i’m finished a reply, i’ll read the whole thing all together— my partner’s initial reply plus my new reply— to see if it all flows well, and then i’ll make adjustments wherever certain things sound wrong or stand out to me in a bad way! but yeah i just think it’s good practice to always be checking what i write! i’m absolutely someone who revisits my replies a few hours or a day after i’ve posted them, and when i see something i suddenly don’t like as much as i did when i’d been proofreading, i absolutely pray that my partner hasn’t seen my reply yet and swoop in to make those edits right away loool.
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For your most recent ask post, monday and minutes please:)
Hiii!!!
Oooh those are good ones, thank you!
Monday — do you struggle with the 'boring' parts of your writing?
Omg YES. They feel like such a chore to me. I end up writing all the fun parts first, and then using the boring parts like grout to hold it all together, and usually with the same enthusiasm I have for putting away laundry. But if I can reimagine the boring parts as more exciting, or with some good dialogue/character growth, then even the the parts I didn't find interesting become *something*. That's kinda my aim: leave no boring part left boring haha xD
Minutes — how long does it normally take you to complete a fic?
Hmmm I feel like I'm on both ends of the time line here. Every fic I've written has either ended up taking longer than intended, or written by accident in a couple hours or less.
For example, I wrote an alien/quarantine jaydick fic that was supposed to be 3 chapters max and finished in a month (I thought lmao). It ended up being 7 chapters and taking 10 months to write 😭
On the flipside, there are fics I've posted that I wrote in one sitting. And one fic (Salt), I wrote while in the middle of a writing session of another work! I'd gone on a research tangent for the original story and 30 mins later had a complete work! So I guess when I've got the motivation and the brain seems to work, I can get an idea to paper and into a story format pretty quickly. But once the work starts to feel labor intensive, I tend to dig my heels in and stall.
What about yourself? Do you feel like your fic turnaround is slow or quick or something else? And how do you have a trick for getting through boring parts? XD
Thank you so much for the ask!
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wherever you are | c.h
word count: 2357
warnings: cursing
pairing(s): calum hood/reader
notes: soulmate au. the povs in this are kind of weird. it’s 2nd person, but you don’t get that good of a view into the reader’s thoughts until near the end. it’s sort of from calum’s point of view but not really. idk just read it lmao :)
for as long as he could remember, the skin on his chest above his heart was occupied by the small lettering. by the time he entered grade school, calum knew that the letters spelled out the lyrics to his soulmate’s favorite song.
once he entered high school, calum was convinced he didn’t even have a soulmate. surely it was possible for the universe to mess up, or maybe his soulmate died earlier on in their life. all calum knew for certain was that the song the lyrics came from didn’t exist.
despite this fact, he was still amazed by the people all around him, brushing hands with someone they barely knew, locking eyes, and grinning from ear to ear as their markings flashed red before fading into their skin.
calum wanted to write the songs that people fell in love with. he wanted his lyrics tattooed above the hearts of the people who would bump into their soulmate while rushing through the halls, or while standing in line at a coffee shop. he wanted to write the songs that people listened to on repeat, sitting alone in their bedroom, trying to hear a small piece of their other half in the melody.
the years flew by, and before he knew it, he was writing songs and performing. he and his friends from australia had become more and more popular with each passing month, and their songs were played all over the world. calum’s dreams had come true.
so why did he still feel so empty?
maybe it was because he and the rest of the band were still in the middle of their new album, and he hadn’t completely figured out the lyrics to one of the songs he was writing for it yet.
or maybe it was because everyone around him was meeting and settling down with the people who they knew would complete them for the rest of their lives. even most of his bandmates and crew had someone. michael had crystal. luke had sierra.
and calum had his guitar and his notebook.
“why do you think you don’t have a soulmate, cal? you’re a great guy and anyone would be lucky to have you.”
calum sat on his plush leather couch, on the phone with his friend and bandmate, ashton irwin. due to the pair’s single statuses, around 50% of fans were completely convinced they were each other’s soulmates, which wouldn’t be too bad, honestly, besides the fact that his favorite lyrics were most definitely not from an ariana grande song.
“because i’ve googled this one line about a million different times on a million different days, hoping that maybe some singer somewhere just came out with a new song and i’ll finally get a sign that i won’t be alone forever.”
“maybe that just means you have to write it yourself.”
of course. why hadn’t he thought of that before?
“sorry ash, i have to go write a song. i’ll call you later.”
with a chuckle and an “alright,” ashton ended the call, leaving calum alone with his thoughts.
after around three hours of sitting alone with his guitar and his notebook, with approximately zero ideas and zero words written on the paper, calum set down his things and decided to find a nearby cafe to take a break. he was in los angeles, after all, and anyone who lived within 20 miles knew there was no shortage of coffee shops.
once calum decided on a fitting store to get his caffeine fix, he ordered his drink and sat down at a small table by the window. instead of pulling out his phone and brainstorming like he expected, calum found himself switching his gaze between the street beyond the window and the barista behind the counter, making his drink.
hey, just because he doesn’t have a soulmate, doesn’t mean he can’t recognize a pretty girl when he sees one.
eventually, his name was called, and he left the swirling mess of a chasm that was his mind and walked over to the pickup counter. as he was handed his drink, he met eyes with the woman who he’d been observing just moments before. the woman, of course, was you. the cafe was empty, save for calum and yourself, so he had no problem with making small talk - just a little mindless flirting - even if it was simply to kill time.
“busy day, huh?” he said, a small smirk adorning his features. you let out a shy laugh, and for some reason, calum found himself thinking that if somehow, someway, you turned out to be his soulmate, it wouldn’t be so bad.
“yeah, i’m absolutely swamped. you wouldn’t believe how many people come in for coffee at 2 pm on a tuesday in the middle of a workweek.”
“since you have so much time, why don’t you sit down and have some coffee with me?” calum quipped, the smile on his face never fading.
with a smile and a nod of your head, you maneuvered around the counter and walked over to the table for two calum had previously been sitting at.
“so, i’m just gonna cut to the chase,” calum started, “what’s your favorite song?”
“if i’m being honest,” you said, pausing, “i would have to say i don’t know. none of the music i’ve heard so far has really spoke to me enough to be considered my favorite song, and on top of that, i’m not really that in touch with current music.”
the bright smile on your face wavered as you met calum’s eyes.
“sorry, i know it’s a really important topic, given how things are, but i just don’t have an answer,” you finished with a sheepish, almost guilty smile.
“don’t even worry about it, it was a dumb question anyway. if it makes you feel any better, my soulmate’s favorite lyric is from a song that doesn’t even exist. just don’t tell the gossip magazines.”
“why would i tell the- oh. you’re famous, aren’t you? i knew i recognized you from somewhere!”
calum laughed a bit at your obliviousness.
“yeah, i’m the bassist for 5 seconds of summer. maybe you’ve heard of us?”
“mhmm! i think i’ve heard a few of your songs. she looks so perfect, right?”
“you really need to catch up on modern music, sweetheart.”
blushing at the nickname, you asked calum for some song recommendations, and you spent the rest of the afternoon discussing anything and everything, right up until customers started getting more frequent at around 4.
“so what days do you work? can i swing by tomorrow around the same time?” calum asked, fiddling almost nervously with his fingers, a stark contrast from his bold and flirtatious behavior from earlier.
you grinned and nodded happily, then waved goodbye to him as the door swung open then closed again, the bells hanging above it making a pleasant ringing sound.
on his walk home, calum couldn’t stop thinking about you. and yet he couldn’t figure out why. the fact that you didn’t have a favorite song meant nothing. it was just too good to be true. he had lived 23 years of his life, happily believing, no, knowing, that he was soulmate-less. and honestly, he felt it was for the better. he could focus on his music. he could focus on his dream. he was living out his dream right now, and if not having a soulmate was what it took, it was well worth it.
so when he finally got home, calum flopped back down on his couch and scribbled down the lyrics he had memorized by heart before he even turned 13.
he then stared at the paper for a good 30 minutes.
it almost felt like stealing. the lyrics, in theory, were his, and it wasn’t like some other artist had written them into a song yet, so there wouldn’t be any legal issues, but he didn’t really come up with them himself, did he? were they really his to write and record if it was just dumb luck that had tattooed those words onto his chest?
“what do you need, cal?” ashton’s groggy voice sounded from the other end of the phone.
calum had gone about his usual evening routine, then decided to go to bed around 10, since there was nothing left for him to do. but then after 3 hours of laying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling, he decided he needed some help.
“i really don’t know if i should write this song, ash. i have absolutely no ideas for the melody, the lyrics don’t even feel like mine, and honestly i’ve been doing just fine without a soulmate. i don’t really see why that has to change now. not to mention that i just met some girl at a cafe and she’s… i don’t even know.”
“cal, slow down. do you want me to be honest with you? i mean completely and totally honest?”
“yeah?”
“you should write the song. and i think the reason you haven’t yet is because you’re scared. you’re scared that even after you finish this fucking song, you still might not find her. you’re scared that this girl you met isn’t gonna be your soulmate, and you’re scared that you’re going to be alone forever, surrounded by everyone that already met their soulmates, and you’re going to feel like complete and utter shit for ever believing that you had a soulmate in the first place. and i think that’s complete bullshit. you can’t just throw away your one chance at finding someone because you’re scared. that’s not how the world works. now goodnight, calum. think about it.”
with that, ashton hung up, leaving calum in the dark of his room, his words playing like a broken record in his head. and even though he hated to admit it, ashton was right. and he’d put this off for far too long already.
after you and calum’s first meeting, you were disappointed to say you didn’t see him again for another two weeks, and by the end of the first, you had accepted the fact that he just wasn’t interested in you once he realized you didn’t have a favorite song.
which was completely understandable, seeing as once you hit your 20’s, it seemed like people only cared about meeting their soulmates as quickly as possible.
so you could imagine your surprise when, exactly at 1:45 pm, the bells dinged softly and the cafe’s doors swung open, calum emerging from behind them, swinging his phone around like a trophy and smiling wider than you thought possible.
“hey, y/n,” he said, breathless to the point where you almost believed he sprinted all the way there.
“hey, cal,” you replied, matching his elated expression, “what can i get for you?”
“you can sit down with me and listen to this,” calum gasped, still trying to catch his breath.
“and what’s this?” you asked, motioning to the file pulled up on his phone, his thumb hovering over the play button, and his other hand holding out a pair of headphones for you.
“modern-day music.”
you grabbed the headphones out of his hand, inserting one into your ear and motioning for him to take a seat. once the two of you had been situated at a two-person table, he put the other earbud in and clicked play.
once the three minutes of the song were over, you took the earbud out and stared at him in awe.
“shut. up.” you said, no hint of a smile on your face.
calum’s gleeful expression dropped to a look of confusion.
“you wrote that?! no fucking way!”
a look of relief passed over calum’s face as he grinned at you once more.
“yep. took me two weeks.”
“so that’s what you’ve been doing while you were too busy to visit me. i can’t say i’m angry.”
the two of you took some time to catch up on everything that had happened since you first met. you’d been coming into work and interviewing at various jobs in your free time, and he had been writing and spending time in the studio recording the demo you’d just heard.
as the pleasant conversation dwindled to an awkward silence, you finally remembered what you were going to say when you’d first heard the song.
“by the way, i think i finally have an answer to your question. that song is and will always be my favorite song.”
“you really mean that? you’re not just saying that to be nice?”
calum honestly couldn’t believe his ears. he may have been living out his dream of making music, but during the past two weeks, he’d learned enough about himself to know that a life with you was his new dream, whether it was as soulmates or just as friends.
“would i lie to you?”
calum smiled at that.
“no, at least i hope not.”
“i especially liked that one line…”
you then proceeded to recite the lyrics written on his chest word for word.
“it’s just amazing how you can write such meaningful and amazing lyrics. i could never do anything like that. i remember once in like 7th grade we had to write a song about the louisiana purchase or something and it was absolutely terrible. i mean we got an A, but that was only because-”
“can i kiss you right now?”
and with that, your rambling was stopped in its tracks.
“what?”
“you heard me,” calum said, the same smirk on his face as when you first met him.
with that, you leaned across the table, grasped the collar of his t-shirt tightly, and pulled him forwards. calum let out a short gasp of shock at your uncharacteristic boldness.
as the tips of your noses touched together, you felt a strong burning sensation right above your heart. as you looked down, you noticed a red glow, shining through the thin fabric of calum’s shirt.
calum placed his large, warm hands over your own as you looked straight into his deep brown eyes.
“take me on a date first, cal.”
#5sos#5sos x reader#5 seconds of summer#calum hood#ashton irwin#x reader#calum x reader#calum x oc#calum hood x reader#calum x y/n#calum hood x y/n#calum hood/reader#calum/reader#soulmate alternate universe#soulmates#soulmate#au#soulmate au#fanfiction#michael clifford#luke hemmings#sierra deaton#crystal leigh#wherever you are#sophauthors
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Official note about Dark Thor Grandthorki fic and Semi-Hiatus
The Situation My Dumb Ambitious Ass Has Landed Itself In
Unfortunately, my big bang date has arrived a lot quicker than I expected it to. >.> On Friday, I’m expected to post the fic I’ve been working on since June. Don’t get me wrong, I have very much been working on it this whole time; unfortunately, I have also been doing quite a lot of exhausting things, including treatment for mental health and college classes. I’m suffocating in the stress of my last semester, which isn’t great for fanfic writing. T_T woe is meeee~
Because of ^, my dark-Thor grandthorki fic (god it needs a title too, huh) is incomplete and, no matter what, will not be completed by Friday (especially considering that all but one of my classes has something due this Friday, too, ugh). Luckily I did sign up for a solo track for big bang so no artist has been ill-used! Unluckily I have robbed some actually prepared & hard-working individual of a very lenient&late posting date. T_T Thus, I want to at least post something on Friday because it would be super inconsiderate and irresponsible of me otherwise, no matter how unprepared I am D:
So, here is what I have decided for my Big Bang/Dark Thor Grandthorki fic:
I am going to post the beginning chunk (about 10-15k words) of the fic! It will be posted as a WIP but as the spirit of the big bang is only to post a completed fic, the part I post will not end on any rudely patience-challenging cliffhanger. (Those who are still waiting for OoT and Figment of Choice to be complete, I am so so sorry lmfao, and this will not be anything like those cliffhangers.) In fact, I’m trying to make this chunk end on a note that is as complete as possible, while still being a WIP.
As for the quality of this beginning chunk... sigh... It’s definitely not my best writing ever since the only times I could work on it were unfortunately times where my writing skill was rusty and atrophied. >.> However, it’s definitely not my worst writing either lmao, so hopefully it will still be enjoyable! @veliseraptor will be betaing the part most recent and most clunky (I didn’t ask her to beta all of it because that would be super unfair in such a short time frame lmao), and until Friday I will be doing my best to polish the rest!
However! As the entire fic isn’t quite written/outlined, I’m nervous about posting this beginning chunk because of how future writing might require changes to be made. Therefore, the part I post is potentially gonna be subject to extreme changes once I start working on it again months from now. In other words, after I graduate, I’m gonna edit it, possibly change things that happen in it, depending on future scenes, and hopefully do it better justice.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Well, because I don’t want y'all to read this Dark Thor Grandthorki fic with high expectations! T____T I know a lot of you have been super excited and eager to read it after all the excerpts I’ve shown you and all the meta I’ve posted about it. I remember receiving a ton of asks about it back in the pique of me working on it. And.. like.. I know I say this a lot, but I genuinely mean it this time: This is not going to be my usual expected brand of (allegedly) good fic. This is gonna be at least a little disappointing. This is not to criticize myself. It’s just a fact based on how I’ve been writing it and how little I can edit it right now.
And I’m honestly super sad because this project has been so so so important and fun for me that I don’t want you to go in without knowing that it won’t be as good as I want it to be.
In fact, my biggest reason for telling you all this is to give everyone an OPTION to actually NOT read it on Friday. If you want to see it in its final form and its final form only, you can instead wait until I’ve actually had a chance to complete the entire fic, edit what needs editing, get it beta-ed, and feel prepared enough to stick to a regular posting schedule. Obviously I don’t care one way or another when you choose to read it--have at it if you don’t care about it being sub-par! ^_^ I just want you all to know where I’m coming from and be able to decide one way or another. So yeah. Feel free to decide whether you want to read the shittier version on Friday or whether you wanna save yourself for the less shitty version later!
Semi-Hiatus Info:
Initial Note: I’m not really going on any kind of hiatus. I’m changing nothing about what I’m doing recently. I’m just... officially acknowledging that I’ve got one foot in fandom right now and one foot out. And that it will continue to be like this until I graduate in December.
And sighhh, I know I say “ohhhh I will be so much more free and able to work on fandom stuff when this date arrives” again and again and again and nothing ever changes lmfao. But when I say I’ll be more free to work on stuff after December, I actually mean it lmfao because that is when I’ll be graduated from college. I’ve never been graduated from college my entire time in fandom, so you can trust that I’m not kidding around this time.
So yeah, in light of my recent silences/etc, please don’t think I’m disappearing. T_T I’m just really stressed and ... even though I try to lie to myself about it ... realistically ... it’s just not possible for me to do all the fandom stuff that I want to be doing right now. :( Especially as this final semester starts ramping up and finals week starts approaching. :/
Obviously, I’ll still be busy after I graduate. I’ll be looking for full-time work and be starting the process of moving out (I’m super excited!) But the mental energy I’ll need for writing won’t be used up by essays and papers and original creative writing classes! (Assuming I get a seat-warming job, crosses fingers lol.) So basically I’m just letting you all know that, despite my behavior, I haven’t forgotten anything! I just really don’t have time (yet).
For sake of knowing when you can expect things, here’s a list of the things I want to work on (starting December) in order of importance:
(honestly this is as much for my reference as yours lmao)
Commenting and reblogging this year’s Grandthorki Day fics! Very top priority, and if I get a free two seconds in my life, I’ll try to do some of this before semester ends too
Putting Grandthorki Rimworld streams into shorter view-able highlights instead of the full-streaming chunks that they currently are in (especially that 3-hour unwatchable one)
Finishing OoT
Commenting on the rest of the grandthorki fics that have been neglected in recent months
Finishing Moment of Peace
Finishing Figment of Choice
Completing the Big Bang/Dark Thor Grandthorki Fic
Going through my drafts to answer all the asks and recommend all the fic I’ve put there
Finishing that Whumptober Collection and/or Re-Doing Whumptober (because lets be real by the time all of this is done, it will probably be October haha)
Updating Happily Ever After
If I’m forgetting anything that you guys really have been wanting me to do, please let me know!
#sorry i just felt like i needed to say S o m e t h i n g because this has been weighing on me quite a bit the last several months#long post#blog maintenance#grandthorki for ts#dark thor#lox talks personal
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688
Have you today?
Looked in a mirror?
Not on purpose. We just have several mirrors in the house that I unavoidably pass by and look at.
Watered a plant?
Not today, but my dad has asked me to do it a couple of times in the last week.
Worn denim?
I haven’t worn outside clothes in almost a monthhhhh. And that includes denim.
Washed your hair?
Technically yes. I took a shower at around 1 AM? before heading to bed.
Been in pain?
Kind of. My left eye has been irritating me almost every night/morning since the year started; sometimes it gets incredibly swollen, sometimes it just feels like something is stuck in my eyelid. Either way it’s always uncomfortable and painful.
Had a nap?
Haha, not yet. But since the lockdown started I’ve been having an afternoon siesta everyday.
Brushed your teeth?
Yeah, it came along with the ^ above 1 AM shower.
Kissed someone?
I haven’t been able to kiss my girlfriend in almost three weeks now and I’m miiiiiserable.
Used a cheese grater?
Nah, I haven’t used one in a while.
Eaten something sweet?
Not yet. I might eat a few pieces of chocnut later though.
Spoken to a stranger?
Not today, but we did have a village guard knock on our door earlier to give my dad a quarantine pass – it’s to confirm that he’ll be the only one in the family allowed to leave the house in case we need to go to the groceries or something. I peeked by the front door to listen to the interaction, but I didn’t speak with the guard myself.
Dropped something?
Sure. My bottle of eye drops.
Felt upset in some way?
You can say that. There’s a new trend on Facebook where groups are created so certain universities can just trashtalk one another as a joke. It was funny at first but there are some posts that have gone too far, personal, or both, and it obviously hasn’t been good for my mental health lol.
Drank coffee?
Not yet today. I usually have it in the evening.
Walked for more than thirty minutes?
I also haven’t walked much in three weeks. That’s kinda what’s supposed to happen when your entire city is put on lockdown.
Signed up for something?
No. I’ve logged in to certain sites, though.
Travelled in a car?
I also haven’t been in a car in the last couple of weeks. I was able to ride with my dad the night before they imposed the lockdown – we were visiting my grandpa in the columbary because it would’ve been his 80th birthday that day.
Opened a can?
Nope.
Thought about doing something crazy?
At the back of my head I always think of driving up to see Gab because I miss her a lot, but it just remains a crazy thought in my head.
Listened to a new song?
Yeah. I have a couple of saved playlists and I don’t know like 94% of the songs in both of them, so I’m always listening to a new song everyday.
Written in a notebook?
I haven’t. I’ve written on a piece of paper, though.
Fed an animal?
Yup, my dog needs his breakfast.
Checked your emails?
LOL NOPE, and I don’t plan to check them any time soon.
Told someone you love them?
Yeah, before we both turned in at like 3 AM lol.
Made a phone call?
Yeah I also called my girlfriend earlier.
Have you in the last week?
Update: I skipped this survey the whole day and now it’s 10:30 in the evening, and I’ve already done a bunch of stuff I said no ^ to earlier lmao but am too lazy to change. Let’s gooooooo
Travelled on a bus?
Nah. The bus personally isn’t my main mode of transpo and I only get to ride them when I’m in a group and there’s no choice but to ride a bus, like for field trips or for group itineraries during vacations.
Washed your face?
Yeah. I did this today because my face was feeling annoyingly oily. Put a face mask on for the first time in a long time.
Used a blender?
No. I don’t think we even have a blender at home, cos no one ever makes stuff that needs to be blended.
Received a phone call?
Sure. Gab and I called several times in the last week, and my grandma has also called from time to time to check up on us because the lockdown has kept us from seeing her regularly.
Talked to someone you dislike?
I...don’t think so. If I did I’d definitely talk to Gabie about it, and I haven’t done that with her haha.
Consumed alcohol?
Ugh, bleck. Yeah. I wanted to get buzzed last week and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s is the only thing we have in the house so I had a small sip and just... disgusting. Whiskey is just not my thing, so never again.
Eaten pasta?
Spot on. We had spaghetti for dinner tonight.
Planned for an event?
There is no event to plan, and it’ll stay like this for the next 3-4 months probs.
Asked someone for a favour?
Sure, I asked Gab to be the one to write the write-up that’s going to be on my college yearbook.
Watched something funny?
I’ve been watching tons of these to fight off boredom during the break.
Trimmed your nails?
Yep, they were getting long and uncomfortable so I got rid of them.
Browsed Reddit?
Also yep. School kept me busy for a couple of months and I wasn’t able to use Reddit then because I’d usually pass out by evening. But right now I have more than enough time to browse it, so I’ve been doing some catching up.
Talked to yourself?
I guess? Not as much as before the lockdown though, because I’ve already been usually by myself throughout this break, and don’t feel the ~need to talk to myself.
Purchased tickets for something?
Nah. They cancelled almost all future events up until May or June...there’s no tickets to be bought at all to begin with.
Felt like you were annoying someone?
Meh, it happens every now and then.
Cleaned a toilet?
I’ve never done this at all.
Reminisced about the past?
LMAO yeah. Someone created a Facebook group that lets alumni from my high school just shit-talk the school and bring back (and reveal) old drama, scandals, and controversies. It’s hilarious, it hasn’t pissed me off, and past students exposing teachers who turned out to be trash and/or perverts is so satisfying.
Used headphones?
I haven’t had headphones in a while.
Laughed with a friend?
Yeah, but just virtually. I haven’t heard most of my friends’ voices in a while.
Cooked dinner and then didn't feel hungry?
Nah. I HAVE helped my dad make dinner a few times this week, which is like huge baby steps for me in learning how to cook haha.
Written a list?
I don’t think I have in the last week.
Played an instrument?
Nope.
Felt jealous or envious?
It happens.
Ignored a text message on purpose?
Lol yeah I guess. There were times I got fed up with Gab being such a slow replier that when she replies, I stopped wanting to open my inbox.
Congratulated someone?
I just did! UP’s med school results were released a few hours ago and I congratulated my friend Michelle for passing. Her decision was super clutch – she initially passed med school as early as high school but she declined it so she can take journalism instead, because it’s what she thought she liked at the time. Four years into the course and she realizes she hated it, so she made the really clutch decision to review for med school exams and she ended up passing every single one she took, UP being the icing on the cake. Honestly I wish I had balls like her.
Have you in the last month?
Made a piece of art?
I don’t think so.
Rewatched one of your favourite tv shows or movies?
I rewatch Friends at least once or twice a month, so ya got me there.
Called a plumber?
We haven’t needed to do this.
Been to a see a doctor?
Yup, an optometrist. Something’s been going on with my left eye for a while, so I went in to have a checkup a couple of weeks ago.
Finished a book?
I did :o I had to read an entire book to make an essay for my business news class. It’s an investigative piece on the fast food industry, which I honestly dig, so I didn’t have a hard time reading and finishing it.
Had a crush on someone?
Sure.
Travelled on a train?
Definitely haven’t done this at all, except for that one time three years ago when I had to do it with Jum to go to the House of Representatives in Manila.
Worn heels?
I don’t think I did, no.
Been to a friend's house?
Yeah, I was at Gabie’s a couple times before the lockdown started.
Shared a bed with someone?
^ Just her.
Been to see a movie at the cinema?
Haven’t been to since Knives Out last December.
Paid attention to celebrity drama?
Nah. High school drama though, I’ve been all over that the last couple of days lmao.
Felt anxious?
I feel it at least once a day.
Taken an elevator?
Sure.
Given someone the cold shoulder?
Only when I don’t reply to Gab because she takes too long to reply, lol yeah. It doesn’t last too long though; it’s just a playful tantrum thing.
Purchased a new book/game/movie?
Nah, I think I find most of my content on YouTube/Netflix anyway.
Applied for a job?
Hahahahahahahahahahhaha not yet don’t rush me.
Used a printer?
I don’t think so.
Had lunch in a park?
But do we have parks at all? Lmaooooooooo
Gotten a manicure or pedicure?
Definitely not into those.
Made an appointment?
Ish? If the one with the optometrist counts.
Had a blood test done?
Not since 2010.
Suffered from a major bruise?
Lol dude I haven’t moved a lot in the last few weeks, there’s absolutely no reason for me to get a bruise.
Researched a topic in-depth?
Yes. I am in school, after all.
Have you in the last year?
Been to the beach?
Yep, but it’s been a literal year and not less than, and I am haaaaaardcore missing the beach. No idea when I’ll be coming back.
Visited someone in the hospital?
No and I hope I won’t have to for now, given what’s been going on.
Played pinball?
Ooh I just did earlier this month! Gab and I went to BGC for a whole night of partying, and when everyone went home we stayed so we can go bar-hopping, and there’s a place called Barcade that’s...well, you get the name. ANYWAY they had sooo many vintage arcade games and a couple of pinball machines, and we didn’t waste time playing each of them. It was sooooo fun.
Travelled on a plane?
A couple of times.
Worn a costume?
I was Dora for Halloween, so yup.
Been thrift shopping?
I don’t...think so?
Thought about getting pregnant or got pregnant?
Hell no.
Made a big life decision?
Not really. Hasn’t everyone’s lives been put on hold because of this stupid virus?
Changed a lightbulb?
Never had at all, really.
Framed something and put it on your wall?
Nah. I’m not really that kind of person.
Been stargazing?
I’ve been doing this a lot recently cos I’ve been staying at the rooftop at night more often. And with everyone at home, the light pollution has been clearing up and the stars have been so much easier to see.
Made a new friend?
If the new applicants for our org count, then yes.
Added to a collection?
I don’t have any.
Been to the dentist?
Oh yeah. I had a really bad toothache throughout December but the dentist took it all away ahhdkjfhdjsfhsf I’m so grateful lmao.
Broken up with someone?
Nope.
Held a baby?
That’s a bigger nope.
Created a budget?
Nah lmao I would never be able to follow it.
Confessed feelings for someone?
Already did.
Had surgery of any kind?
Nope and I hope I’ll never need one.
Quit a job?
Never had a job,
Been in a car accident?
NO thank god hahahahahahaha
Purchased something worth over a grand?
Yep, one of my Christmas gifts for Gabie was well around two grand. Pesos though, so that’s like roughly $40.
Been on vacation at least 500km/300mi from home?
Yeah, we always do at least one of these when my dad’s home.
Applied for an academic course?
Does enrolling count? I’m still in college lmao.
Had your photo taken by a professional?
I had my grad shoot taken last January.
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11/11/11
I was tagged by @water-writings <3
1. Do you write fanfictions or original stories and did you ever write fanfiction?
I write (and always have written) both; I actually started writing fanfiction when I was like 10 years old, before I even knew what fanfiction was, and then later discovered that it was a whole thing. For quite a few years now fanfic has been my main thing, but I’ve got a few original things that I’m knuckling down on this year and really enjoying, so we’ll see.
2. Did you ever write your stories in the middle of class instead of paying attention?
Not in the middle of class really, but I did write like half a harry potter au fic sort of thing based off of some rp characters at the end of my year 11/12 exams. The exams were like 3 hours long each, and like, I’m not smart but I am pretty quick at theory stuff so I’d have 1.5-2 hours per exam to fill, and I would never use the note paper for notes. So I’d fold my note paper into 8ths and write reeeeeally really small and fill it all up during my extra exam time. (I still have the sheets of paper if anyone wants to see xD)
3. How many notebooks do you have filled with your writing?
Since somewhere in 2015, I have filled 25 notebooks; not including anything I wrote straight out on a computer, on my phone, on random pieces of paper, or in other notebooks that aren’t included in my numbering system, which I have lmao.
4. What’s your favorite way to write? Notebook, Word Doc, Google Docs?
By hand in notebooks. I used to write in a word doc, and I still use word to type up into and edit it, but I find writing by hand really pushes my word counts up, and forces me to do an initial edit when I type it up, especially with fanfic because I don’t draft fanfic.
5. Do you write by yourself or do you need people writing with you?
I’ve always written alone - most of my friends don’t even know that I write, or don’t write anymore themselves, so it’s just me and myself over here. I was in a writing club at school for a while, and we tried to do a couple projects together, but the group got off course way too easily and nothing really got done, so I prefer to be alone with something I’m really passionate about finishing.
6. Have you ever cowritten with someone?
When I was liiiiiike 12, my friend and I co-wrote a lot of Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic lmao, which to this day is one of my favourite writing memories. And I co-wrote an entire 50k ‘novel’ with my friend during middle school, which was actually pretty good fun - we traded off chapters and worked together on plot and worldbuilding and actually finished the whole thing. It was horrible (I can’t look at it anymore it’s so cringey), but a good experience to have. I’ve co-written with a few friends online too, with mixed results - nothing that’s ever really gone anywhere though.
7. Who do you bounce ideas off of?
No one lmao. I just throw them into the story and see if they work.
8. Have you ever taken an experience from your life and written it into a story?
Definitely! The most obvious example would probably be the series of short stories I’ve written and posted on this horse racing game I play, Flying For Home, which are sometimes drawn directly from stuff that happens around my workplace in real life, seeing as I work with racehorses in a big stable (the premise of the short stories lmao).
Another example I can think of is, funnily enough, my other horse-related project; a novel called Vertigo, for which I have drawn on a lot of my own personal history and people that I’ve met in my life and thrown it into the mixing pot. It’s a bit of a personal daydream tbh xD Other than those, there’s a little bit of myself in everything I write, I think, though it’s hard to pick out sometimes.
9. Favorite type of music to listen to while you write.
I usually don’t let myself listen to music when I write, but if I do, it’ll be the playlist I inevitably have for the story, turned down very quiet so that it fades into the background - usually just pop and alternative/indie sort of stuff.
10. Have you ever had anyone give you “advice” that hurt you and prevented you from writing for a while?
I don’t think I’ve ever had anything that stopped me from writing, and I’ve certainly never had criticism from outsiders/strangers or whatever (generally people just ignore me). But I do keep my mum at a distance from my writing, as she tends to just push and push me to ‘publish something already’ and gives off the mentality of ‘it’s not worth wasting your time on if it won’t make you money’. She uh...doesn’t know that I have published over 100k of fanfic this year. Lol. She’s only trying to be supportive, in her own way, and I appreciate it, but I just don’t mention it to her very often, because she’s never really ready to listen to my point of view on it.
11. Have you ever had fans of your writing pester to write a certain way?
I don’t have fans xD
And from @starsandstormyseas because you asked good questions and I Want To...
1. Have you ever had an idea that sounded really great in your head, but when you started writing it, came out terrible for whatever reason?
Yesssss, Flicker has gone through 9 versions in 2 years because every time I start it, it just goes very quickly in directions that I don’t want it to and it never feels right. This version I’m working on now is the first time I’ve really liked all the ways I could go with it so hopefully we’re past book 2 blues and back on track.
2. What’s your favorite part in writing a story? The relationships (or shipping), the plot, the worldbuilding, something else?
The like, ‘main’ scenes, the big hitters. The culmination of all the middle bits into that one main plot point. And relationships too, though not romantic persay - I just really enjoy the scenes where two characters will bounce off of each other for like 7 pages of dialogue, whether its enemies, or friends, or romantic.
3. And weird habits you do when writing, or to keep yourself writing?
I write by hand mostly, and I have my own system to mark as I’m going sentences I don’t like, or words that don’t really fit but I couldn’t think of the right one, or facts I’ve made up on the fly that need to be googled. If I just mark down stuff that I want to change later as I go, I find that I set myself free in a way, and I can just move on without getting stuck on a google spiral (also I don’t forget to fix my plot holes later).
4. Do you keep the internet on or off when you write?
On, though it’s very distracting when I’m trying to write straight on my laptop lmao
5. What books, authors, fics, or any media, have heavily influenced your writing style?
I spent a lot of my childhood reading Enid Blyton and authors like her; older books, mostly my mum’s books from when she was a child, and things from my hometown’s very, very outdated library. So they had a huge impact on the way I learnt to write (they also had an impact on the way I talk too, but that’s another story). More recently, the whole tone and way that fanfic in general is written has really influenced me, and I’d like to think I’ve adopted it and made it my own in a good way.
6. What time is the best time to write? Day, night? Morning, evening?
Evening/night; some days, I cannot focus until like 8pm when I go to bed. And then I lose sleep because I’m writing but y’know. For editing/typing up, that’s a late afternoon kind of job.
7. Is there anyone IRL that you let read your work?
I have a group of friends that I’ve known for 8 years now that are allowed to read my work. We used to rp together and all used to write and so we all know how bad we were back in the day xD. One girl from that group has been my friend since kindergarten, so she has always had me shoving handfuls of words in her face. There’s been a few other friends that have read some of my stuff, but not all of it, and the older I get, the less I share.
8. How do you handle negative or unhelpful reviews or critique? Does it impact the way you write?
I’ve never had any negative response, so I don’t know. The silence when you’re 4 chapters deep and no one has reviewed is deafening though.
9. Do you respond to every comment/reply you get? If not, which ones get your attention and why?
I only respond to the long/sincere ones, because I feel like they deserve some encouragement in return for taking the time to really let me know what they thought.
10. Ever gotten weird, unsolicited messages asking to join an RP group or some such because this person apparently read your writing (but probably didn’t)?
Hah. Once or twice.
11. What is your favorite platform to post your writing, talk about writing, or anything like that?
My favourite place to post and to read by far is AO3 - but I find the best platform to get feedback on is FF.net. My favourite place to talk about writing is over here on tumblr.
MY QUESTIONS
How do you get yourself to focus on writing?
What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written?
Tell me about your current WIP.
Do you write for yourself or for an audience?
Do you share your writing with anyone you know in real life?
What’s the nicest comment/review you’ve ever gotten?
What platform do you prefer to post your work on?
Do you plot or pants?
What have you learnt while writing your stories?
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
Can you give a spoiler for your WIP?
Tagging (from writer peeps) @converginglives, @pen-in-hand (if you want another one I think mel got you xD), @aethryos, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @siriusguided, @insertpenname-here, @indecentpause, @writing-at-dusk @sillyliterature @anoddconstellationofthoughts @writingtomorrow
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da 20 questions
i was tagged by @goblin-deity thanks dear <3
and i’ll tag @lyrium-lovesong @raymurata @pegaeae @veridium-bye and @crystal-grace <3 no obligations of course <3
01) Favourite game of the series?
ooooghghghghghgh Origins is my Favorite, the Story........
02) How did you discover Dragon Age?
i recieved a copy of inquisition as a gift, became immediately immursed but i didn’t dig more into the series for a good half a year or so? at which point i discovered the other two games and went Oh Fuck
03) How many times you’ve played the games?
oh, uHHHHHHH, Far Too Many. i’ve sunk over 1k hours into dai alone, origins and da2 probably have about 1k combined?
04) Favourite race to play as?
i’m always a slut for elves
05) Favourite class?
me, a staff wielding bisexual: i’m Mage, all the way. though i don’t mind rogue if i mix things up [which is like, i think i have three or four rogue play throughs out of all of them?] i NEVER play warrior bc i’m a bottom i’m not about that life
06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?
i play in character! so i’ve got some Wildly different world states depending on which playthrough/oc i’m on
07) Go-to adventuring group?
for my Canon world states i’ve got origins gang: sten, zevran, morrigan. da2 gang: fenris/aveline, anders/merrill, varric. dai gang: dorian, bull, solas/sera
i sense a theme......
08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?
oh god, ellanis and noure are my most fleshed out origins kids, wren and galahad are less fleshed out, sorta, but i Love them, idrilla and da’ean are pretty fleshed out as well -though linayel and mithra are also fairly fleshed out i just never write about them
09) Favourite romance?
ZEVRAN -god i love him so much hhhhhHHHHHHHH he’s got Everything, everytime i play ellanis and he goes ‘the grey wardens die here’ i’m Fucking Lost Already man. hhhhhoooohhghghghghghgh i’d go on but i’m running on cough syrup and midol so it would be even less coherent than ususal
10) Have you read any of the comics/books?
lmao i own all the books but i haven’t been able to finish them because My God are they poorly written. LIKE good Characters, good characters, shit prose.
11) If you read them, which was your favourite book?
the one i’m furthest along in rn is stolen throne so i’ll go with that one
12) Favourite DLCs?
jaws of hakon -holy shit as an archaeologist grad student i cannot tell you how much i Fucking Loved the lore dump in site form that was jaws of hakon JUST OH MY GOD it was AMAZING the first time you talk to professor what’shisface with the hot accent and he starts talking about chronologies via buckles i was fucking lost in nerd heaven
13) Things that annoy you.
homophobia and transphobia and racism. the games are Rife with bad correlations between real people and grey morality and poor handling of sensitive contents, though i don’t know if it was all done for ‘woke’ points or if some came from legitimate good intentions, most of my problems lie in those areas. fandom also hits a lot of my annoyances but that’s what block is for
14) Orlais or Ferelden?
antiva bitch
15) Templars or mages?
mages
16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?
same one! ellanis is my canon hof but noure is a part of his backstory and they meet during the blight [ellanis frees noure from a sentence of tranquility and conscripts them, uh, temporarily] noure leaves the group after like a week?ish and goes to nevarra. wren and galahad are twins, wren being the older one and the main rabble-rouser hawke. da’ean is the only quizzy but idrilla, linayel, mithra and a handful of other lavellan ocs all exist within the clan -idrilla and linayel and a few others come to skyhold after clan lavellan handles the unrest in wycome with da’ean’s help [my canon there is a bit wonky as of yet as i’m still working out the kinks]
17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)
this is the part i suck at, i think ellanis named the mabari something after the flower that saved him? but i don’t remember tbh, and that’s the only one i cna think of rn too lkjlkjlkjklj
18) Have you installed any mods?
oh yes. ohhh yes i have an extense amount of mods on all three games, mostly cosmetic ones but a few gameplay ones
19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?
ellanis didn’t no, he thought warden’s were a bit of reality mixed with myth. when duncan shows up he’s more skeptical and curious than anything else, and his joining is less than enthusiastic but he makes the most of it for a good five years, before he fucks off to do his own research in antiva in seclusion -he just leaves, with an encripted note for nate making him warden-commander of ferelden while he’s gone and tells him not to tell anyone where he’s gone. only nate and velanna know where he is in the wardens
20) Hawke’s personality?
wren is a purple hawke! she knows what she wants and she is not afraid to go after it, although she does care deeply and shows her affections loudly. she’s a fucking chaotic stupid mess and i love her.
galahad is blue throughout. a natural big brother, super loving and patient and caring. he’s always looking to help, though when things go wrong he tends to blame himself only, he’s more together than wren though.
21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?
....yes.......
my inquisition is a fashion disaster, everyone has a palatte but i do complimentary colors for my parties and lis Of Course
22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?
yes, ellanis would go back and kill the shems before they could crash the wedding -to prevent shianni from ever having to live through what she did. he would still have probably been conscripted by duncan soooo not too big a change for him but, for shianni it would be huge.
ellanis has another but it’s tied up with noure’s: noure would go back and ambush the templars before being captured and then run for their life. without ever having lived in the circle i don’t, know exactly how noure would come out -probably happier, less jagged, less terrified and paranoid. but probably not by much if they had to live their life constantly looking over their shoulder. they may have ended up in nevarra this way too, but they wouldn’t have ever made it to kirkwall and they never would have met anders or karl, they may have never fallen out of love with ellanis via distance/assumed death, it would be far different than what happened.
wren and galahad both would go back and save bethany. doesn’t matter how, or what the cost to themselves would have been that’s their little sister and they would do anything to save her if they could.
da’ean’s is much the same. his biggest regret, the thing which haunts him the most is ashalle’s [not dao ashalle lmao] death. he was supposed to protect her and after what happens in that field and that month, da’ean blames himself for how his sister died. though he isn’t the one to blame, and later [far, far later] he is able to come to terms with what happened. though he never Truly shakes the guilt.
linayel would probably try to save his mother’s sight. he would tell her to stay with him by the fire, or would try and find a cure faster for her. the illness wasn’t his fault and he knows it wasn’t but given the chance he would save her sight if he could.
23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?
lmao canon? never heard of her, a shitton of what i write is either me taking canon and making it Good/Useable or me shitting on it and saying this is My Castle Now
24) Who did you leave in the Fade?
this choiice always pissed me off, or it did after i knew who they were. when i first played i had no idea who hawke was or who the grey warden contact was [stroud for my first couple of play throughs] at all. so i would flip flop between them without care really.
now, in my canon alistair stays behind while hawke physically drags da’ean out because he was going to stay and fight or find a different way out. i still think its shit and a naratively piss-poor meta punch though
25) Favourite mount?
i’m a dirty gatherer so i don’t actually use any mount. the only time i Have used a mount was the royal 16 for screenshot purposes, which i lost when my harddrive crashed a couple months ago D:
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week 2
day 8: it feels good to be productive even though I really didn’t do much, had an hour phone call with my professor to go over my essay and he went into too much detail lmao and I really wanted it to end starting halfway through, watched hp 2&3 with my bro, spent two hours on refactored, am wearing a new sweater and socks I haven’t worn before and it’s nice, they’re moving forward with my background check so summer isn’t cancelled still as of now! hallelujah
day 9: jeremy released a new song, watched both hp 7’s today, watched wheel of fortune, sent refactored emails, played piano, forgot for like two minutes what day it was and thought it was wednesday, got a call from my recruiter and she told me they’re having a meeting tomorrow to decide what to do about the program eeeeeep, wore a new sweater today with my cat socks, kristina said she’d give me a list of questions but they never came so now keith is winging it tomorrow, texted keith if he was busy and if we could call later and then we did and I was less nervous this time about asking even though he never got back to me on what movie they ended up watching if they ever ended up watching which I don’t think they did and he just needed to get off the phone but it’s ok bc he was honest this time (update: he actually watched jerry maguire with his mom and that comforts me)
day 10: idk why but I can’t figure out how to make oatmeal at home? the two times I’ve done it now including today is not as good as when I made it in my apt kitchen, played piano and uke, asked my bro what day it was bc I’m starting to lose track of time :(, worked on refactored but didn’t work on my slides yet and was highly unproductive, potato salad at dinner, need to get a drug test lol, keith called me and it was work related but I like hearing his voice in any capacity, called Cat and got wrapped up in myers briggs again lmao, looked up my compatibility again and it said I’d have difficulties with jenny’s type lmao which is also jaja’s type, oh and I saw a real cat in this catastrophe! she let me pet her and everything. plus she looked like my aunt’s cat and it was very lovely after my run
day 11: my mother woke me up this morning to drive her but it was unnecessarily early bc I didn’t even have to pick her up more than an hour later, finally left my neighborhood even though it was only for like 10 min it was still nice to fucking get out, my oatmeal this morning was actually good finally, spent like three hours curating a playlist oops, there’s like nothing in the fridge and it upsets me bc I want an actual meal but I’ve literally just been eating rice and bread for lunch this past week and it’s not working, played piano and uke, my supervisor emailed me and said they’re gonna pay for the past few days even though we haven’t been working! but I’m locked out of the time period so idk, saw the kitty again, texting :), filed my taxes which is the only thing I’ve really accomplished today but does that even count as being productive? lol I don't think so. also I haven’t done any school work in literally 16 days holy fuck I really need to get my shit together. but also I feel like I’m finally adjusting to this mess and trying to enjoy the moments I can
day 12: had a zoom meeting with my supervisor and I think I might pick up extra hours, peed in a cup, my mom finally bought groceries and there’s so much more fruit in the house and carrots! I can finally eat my hummus again, started watching the tv shows I keep up with again meaning I’m finally adjusting I think and not obsessing over the news like I did the first week, played piano, worked on refactored slides but it’s taking a lot longer than I expected bc I am procrastinating but also my kids did not do a good enough job and I have to pick up their slack, organized my google calendar so hopefully now I will finally stick to a schedule, my mom finally made a good dinner with our new groceries, got a free book yesterday bc there was a table giving them away and they were all suspense themed which isn’t typically what I read but we’ll see if I like the one I picked out, was gonna go to bed early but ended up watching harry styles tiny desk concert oops
day 13: watch svu today, practiced uke a really long time and I think I’m finally confident with two songs lmao. it’s taken me a really long time to learn them but I’m excited to try party favor next, rescheduled Iceland officially, I’m enjoying maggie rogers tunes, worked on refactored slides for fucking hours and still haven’t finished, called Cat, my mom is paranoid
day 14: I slept so fucking well this morning. it was so bizarre and I hadn’t slept this well in like more than a month and it may have been bc of a stupid reason, practiced uke, FINISHED THE FUCKING SLIDES, I sent this nytimes article to my environmental econ prof from last sem like three days ago bc it was talking about vsl and he got back to me today! cool, I think I may be going a little crazy ahahahahahha I need social interaction and segc is holding an update meeting tomorrow so I guess I’m looking forward to that, still have not worked on my essay and I probably won’t be tomorrow bc I gotta do cti work ugh. this essay just does not want to be written
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First off, I’m so so so sorry that this is so late! I ended up rewriting this almost 4 different times and I’m still not completely happy with it but it’s my first fanfic so screw it, I like it enough to give it to you @hisagishuuhei I hope you like it!
P.S. Sorry if its cringy lmao
For the @yuri-on-ice-valentine-exchange
Pairing: Emil X Mickey
Disclaimer: I wrote this like one would write a diary so everything that’s written is in Mickey’s viewpoint until the very end
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3 days until Valentine’s Day
Current time: 3:27 pm 2/11/17
I’ve got it bad…….. Like extremely bad. I can barely sit still during this stupid ass lecture it’s so bad. I know I know, I need to calm down. It’s only love. Well… it’s probably love, all I really know is that I want to make that boy mine and never let him go. God the things I could do to him, I could just eat him up! Wait I’m in class so I shouldn’t be thinking about this, I could pop a boner if I continue. Ugh, how much longer is this class??? I swear I’m gonna die here. I wish I never took this stupid marketing class… I DON’T EVEN LIKE MARKETING! I should’ve taken like a sports history class or somthn. That would’ve been waaay better. I need to just chill out… I mean there’s only like 40 minutes left in the class anyways, and then I can go back to the dorm and see Emil! Just mentioning him in this journal gets me so excited. I’m a lovesick mess huh?
Current Time: 5:58pm 2/11/17
My original plans to go straight back got totally ruined! All I wanted to do was go home and see Emil…. But nooooo. Sara just had to come and jump me after class and she even dragged me to this stupid cafe. I mean it wasn’t that bad tbh but it still was not what I wanted. I think the only good thing that came out of it was that she agreed to help me buy something for Emil. So now I’m stuck waiting in the car for her to ‘properly get ready’ since she didn’t think she was pretty enough to go out on the town like she was. Like, what does she thinks gonna happen? That some mysterious and hot af guy is just gonna pop up and ask her out?? Besides even if that were to happen, I’d never let someone touch my lil sister…. hmph .
Current Time: 9:32pm 2/11/17
I’m sitting outside on the bench right below our dorm trying to catch my breath as of right now. Why is that future me may ask? W E L L. Sara being the little shithead she is made me walk home by myself after finding some of her friends but that’s not all folks! It started raining too so I had to run back here! Hence why I’m out of breath. I’m just glad that she promised to wrap up the teddy bear and the electric razor I got him. Ok yeah I know buying him one of those isn’t really romantic or anything but it’s supposed to be funny since he knows how much I hate his beard. Facial hair in general is just….. No.
2 Days until Valentine’s day
Current Time: 12:13pm 2/12/17
Last night had to be the best night in my life. It started off extremely normal, just me walking into our dorm and seeing Emil making food. Oh and have I ever mentioned how great of a cook he is? Well he is and lemme just say this now, he’s perfect wifey material. Ok but back to what I was originally talking about, we ate while we watched a movie and I don’t ever remember falling asleep but I guess at some point I did because I woke up around 4 or 5-ish and me and Emil were all cuddled up. Wait what was that? Can I repeat that you ask??? Me. And. Emil. Were. Cuddling. Oh god, I can’t believe that happened but to top the whole situation off, when I tried to move away he frickin grabbed me in his sleep and hugged me even tighter. When he did that I could barely hear him say “don’t go..” over my heart slamming in my chest. I legit thought I was going to die. I mean I would’ve died extremely happy but no I can’t die yet! Not until we’ve slept together again with roles switched, not that I didn’t like being the spoon or the warmth of his oh so strong arms around me. It’s just that I really just wanna hug him all night, hell if I could I’d do it 24/7. Ugh but I gtg finish my homework for my next class since I missed my first one , I’ll come back and write in you later.
Current Time: 3:02pm 2/12/17
I spent the whole class thinking about Emil again. I really need to stop doing that… I’m going to end up failing my classes at this point. But forget that, more importantly I think he’s avoiding me now, I mean it’s totally plausible since we are in no way, shape, or how romantically involved and we ended up on a small ass couch cuddling. But still, that’s no reason for him to jump when he see’s me or to hurry and leave the dorm. FYI, that happened about 20 minutes ago so I’m still quite hurt about that. I guess it’s whatever, we’ll be fine over time I hope.
Current Time: 10:44pm 2/12/17
Sara stole me again, not that I mind this time since I’m sure Emil wouldn’t wanna see me anyways. Kill me now please. But yeah I filled her in on what happened last night and she was more than thrilled. She kept reassuring me that he’s just embarrassed since he likes me too and that’s why he’s doing that but I just don’t know what to think about it. After we spent like an hour and a half or so just fucking around at the cafe she told me to go back and try to talk to him.
Let’s just say I tried.
I came home to him icing one of his bomb af cakes he loves to make, but that’s not the reason I’m pissed. He went and wrote ‘To the one I love’ in bright red icing on it. Upon seeing that my jealousy skyrocketed and I went and asked such a dumbass question.
“So is that for your girlfriend?”
Normally the sight of him blushing would melt my heart but the fact that I know he’s bright red because of someone else is just sickening.
“Ah no… just someone I really like”
“Tch, same difference, anyone who would reject you after giving them that would be brain dead”
After that I kinda just stormed off into my room which is where I am and am perfectly willing to stay. I don’t want to go out there and see that stupid cake of his, or him for that matter. Oh god could I just cry right now. Fuck. I wish I could just snap that person’s neck that stole my loves affection from me. Nvm, he’d just hate me even more then. Fuck I just want things to be simpler!
1 Day until Valentine’s Day
Current Time: 1:29am 2/13/17
I was awoken by Emil carrying me princess style to my bed. Never would’ve imagined he’d do something like that but nonetheless it happened. And me being stupid like always told him to go away, which I highly regret saying but it’s not like he left anyways. He softly told me, “I’d never, you’d catch a cold sitting out like that you know?”
At that moment I thought my heart was going to explode, any trace of anger I held just dissipated and turned to sadness so when he sat me down and tucked me into my bed like a 5 year old, I curled up and just layed there on the verge of tears. I guess it was pretty obvious since he crouched down and asked me what was wrong, I just told him that it was the valentine blues since it’s not like I had anyone. The smile he had on his face the was one that looked kinda pitiful, almost like he wanted to cry too. And well umm hold up, I’m not really good at inserting dialog so I’ll just do it screenplay like? No clue really but all that I know is that it’s gonna make writing in this journal a hell load easier so here it goes!
Emil: Eh? I would’ve thought that you’d have girls lining up to get with you since you’re so hot.
Me: So…. you think i’m hot? *blushing like crazy*
Emil: N-no that’s not what I meant! *I think he was blushing? Couldn’t tell very well*
Me: It’s ok… I know you were messing around. *I tried smiling even though I wanted to cry even more, sooo*
Emil: It’ll be ok Mickey, I’m sure you’ll have someone this year, now go and get some sleep. Ok?
Me: Thanks for the encouraging words Emil. Anyways, night.
Emil: Sweet dreams~
Current Time: 9:57pm 2/13/17
I woke up this morning around 11 and had the great idea to watch Emil sleep. I mean it’s not like I set out to do it? I kinda just walked out into the kitchen and saw him laying on the couch sleeping. So why not? Oh I can tell you why not. Reason 1) trying to explain yourself is utter hell bc you won’t have an explanation. And reason 2) The awkwardness afterwards totally kills off any good vibes for a good two hours. He wasn’t to creeped out but I still regret doing that, and lucky me he went out of his way to make it less awkward by asking what I wanted to do today. But knowing Emil, he’ll just pick something he wants to do anyways so I told him it was his call. And that’s how I ended up watching every. Single. Episode of voltron today, and after that he turned on The Magicians and we’re currently on the 3rd episode. He kept going on about it for awhile now but as soon as he gets to watch it he falls asleep. How careless, not to mention that he’s sleeping all curled up under my arm. Man. I wish tomorrow would never come because I know he’s just going to go off to his valentine…
V A L E N T I N E ‘ S D A Y
Current Time: 6:03am 2/14/17
Fuck.
FUck.
FUCk.
FUCK.
I forgot to grab his presents yesterday. Sure he already has someone but that does not mean that I’d just not give him anything, plus I spent good money on that stuff. Anyways, almost as soon as I woke up, I dashed out of the dorm and all the way to Sara’s house. I regret running but it was worth it. I grabbed those presents after waking her and everyone else up on the block by my loud knocks and bolted back to my dorm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Real Time~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What I walked into almost shattered my heart. I laid Emil’s presents down and ran over to Emil who was crying on the couch. I took him into my arms like my life depended on it and we stayed like that for a good while.
“Hey… Emil. what’s wrong?” I asked
“I thought you left me…”
“Nooo! I’d never leave you, understand? I only left to go grab something for my valentine”
“Then why are you back here? Shouldn’t you go and give it to them?” He mumbled into my shoulder, crying even harder now. “Who even is it?”
I could barely hear him say it but I took his face in my hands and wiped the tears from his glossy blue eyes.
“It’s you, ya dumbass. Who else would it be?”
“A..are you serious?”
“How could I not be in this situation Emil? I’ve been trying to work up the courage to tell you how I felt the last two years but I just couldn’t do it and well this year I wanted to make it a surprise but this happened instead.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be, I’m just glad that I can tell you how much I like you”
“Ya know… You were also supposed to be my valentine, I even made you a cake but the face you had when you walked in and saw it was really scary Mickey. I mean I know you love it when I make them for you so why’d you react like that?”
“Because I thought you were going to give it to someone else. My jealousy skyrocketed and I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry Emil”
“I kinda figured” He half choked/half laughed.
“Don’t die now, I just got you where I wanted you”
I pulled his forehead to mine and looked into his red and puffy eyes. I was really looking forward to be the one that engaged the kiss but he beat me to it. No sooner than I opened my mouth to ask how he was feeling, I could feel his lips on mine. They’re chapped and a bit sticky from him crying but I don’t care, all I care about is how his lips are on mine and that he’s pushing me onto my back.
~~~~~~~~~~~Happy Late Valentine’s Day~~~~~~~~~~
#yoi#fanfic#yuri on ice#emil nekola#michele crispino#mickey x emil#valentines#exchange#killme please
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3, 4, 11, 14, 17, 22, 25, 40, 45, 49 (on how to start a first chap!!) for the fanfic asks!! also you have the same name as my sister!
really?? i know maybe like 4 people with my name so it’s a funny coincidence :D
3. name three favorite writers
I can’t not name Terry Pratchett, who’s maybe the writer i admire the most. like, ever. other than that i like most of Glen Cook’s books and i grew up with Pierre Bottero’s fantasy series Ewilan, so he’s very dear to my heart.
if we’re talking fanfic writers it’s @tobioslilgiant @authorkurikuri and @topftopf and @candy-harlot (yeah i know i’m cheating but HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE HONESTLY)
4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why
Terry Pratchett, for reason i could go on for hours about; Pierre Bottero, for writing books that were both formative as a person and a writer (and giving me the female protag and hero in a fantasy world that i fucking deserved); aaaaand though i havn’t read any of his books (yet), Brandon Sanderson. I’ve been watching his lectures about writing and they’re really interesting and useful
11. do you listen to music when writing?
rarely, actually. it depends on my mood and on the tone of what i’m writing, so i can’t even really tell you what i listen to
14. easiest character to write
Kuroo probably
(this got pretty long, esp the writing advice, so the rest is under the cut)
17. favorite AU to write
i’m gonna take that as a plural and say college au, aged-up au, POST BREAK UP AU, space pirates au (which i still have to do but god do i want to), magic au (usually casual magic), and probably more that i can’t remember rn.
i just. really love aus.
22. favorite story you’ve ever written
amongst my fics, it’s Expectations i think (iwaoi with ace oikawa), both because i wrote it like i’d been given divine inspiration and because i met amanda thanks to it
amongst everything i’ve ever written, even if it’s garbage (i wrote it for nano last year) and not finished, it’s areina’s story, which i know nobody knows anything about but it’s my baby
25. favorite line you’ve ever written
actually comes from my leverage fic, but it’s a toss up between two lines, “[...]kids were scary. She knew firsthand how much you could fuck them up for life, and you didn't get a second try” and “She had held gems worth billions in her hands and treated them with less care – and still it felt like something would go wrong any second.”
it’s just. parker with kids, man.
40. which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series
either the numerous assorted issues in the life of tsukishima kei (after a rewrite) because tsukishima’s suffering entertains me, or the star wars au that i’ve started, when it’s finished
45. share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet
ooh for a fic, i’ve got AU, adult, post break-up ushioi who are forced to work together after a few months of total silence. it’s still in beta but if all goes well it’s going to make people hate me for the slow burn lmao
for original writing, in case ur curious after i mentionned areina: areina ran away from her people at age 14 because they were pushing her into a future she did not want. fast forward a lot of shit and about 10 years later, she and her friend hysenk work as bodyguards for caravans. things start to go downhill when jenem, who used to be her friend and was given the place and future areina dreamed of, comes to her to ask areina for help to save their family, and areina accepts (against hysenk’s opinion, which they would like everyone to note, because A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENS)
49. writing advice
i’m not sure if you want me to give you advice on how to start writing a first chapter or what kind of structure to give a first chapter.
if it’s the former, then just... write it. write and don’t look back, just take your story and characters and run with it. maybe it’ll be shit, but you can fix that after, the important part is to get started
now if it’s the latter, you have to make your first chapter interesting, you have to make the readers care about what’s gonna happen, either by obviously setting up things that will have consequences or interesting developments, and getting the reader interested in it, or by using a bait (cliffhanger, mystery, etc) and making the reader stick along to get an answer.
i find that something that’s important to establish is a good first sentence, or at the very least, a good first paragraph. first impressions are important. it doesn’t have to be an action scene with people shooting at each other, but it has to hook people in and make them care/wonder/etc. i feel like it’s maybe less necessary in fanfics, because we’ve got all the tags that tell people what this is about and even if the first paragraph isn’t a work of art most people will keep reading, because they know it’s something they’ll probably enjoy, but it’s still appreciable.
another thing important in first chapters is to give your character(s) personality early. if your characters are bland and boring, people won’t care, and if they look primarily for good characters, they won’t go further, no matter how good a plot you promise. you can make the characters fully fledged people later, when you have time to expand on it, but you’ve got to give them relief from the start. i find that a good way to do that is dialog, personally, but something else might work better for you. again, maybe less necessary in fic, cause we know the characters already, though i find that i prefer to know early if the writer is grossly mischaracterizing my favorite characters or not
other things :don’t use the first chapter to infodump or have lenghty exposition. unless your reader is a nerd who loves being told how your world works (like me), they’ll be bored and move on to something else. you’ll have time to explain stuff later. and try not to give too many proper names, either of people or places. it’s usually confusing (though sometimes it can work or it would seem illogical to skip names, in a conversation for example). again, you’ll have time to tell more later.
TL;DR: use a hook in the first lines, make your characters interesting, and give the reader something to look forward to, even if it’s resolved in the very next chapter
thank you anon!! and i hope the wall i wrote in guise of writing advice helps you ^^’ you’re welcome to come talk to me about writing anytime!
#anonymous#asks#Maëlle writes#caveat for the writing advice: it's what works for me and what i do#but a big rule of writing is to know whose advice to take and which parts to take in said advice#so like. maybe it won't resonate with you at all but if that's the case don't sweat it#nobody writes the same way
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Meeting Pierce Brown
08/27/17 @ Raffles Makati for The Philippine Readers and Writers Festival #GoReadWrite2017 by National Bookstore
Hello! I’m really inactive on tumblr but I want to make a crappy visual (doodle) report/diary thing so that I can preserve this memory forever...or at least until this site exists. I dra—invited my biffle Gabby (@gabbyganchie on twitter) to come with me to Piece Brown’s Author Spotlight and Book Signing so that I won’t be a total awkward scarecrow, not to mention that it might be a once in a lifetime chance to meet Pierce Brown in the Philippines. She became a howler after I lend her my Red Rising trilogy books over a year ago and now, we’re lowkey crazy about this man’s books...
Gabby and I planned to meet at Raffles Makati at 6 AM even though the registration will start at 8:30 AM because the line for Pierce’s signing will be crazy with only 300 slots.
I arrived at Raffles at 6:15 AM with a line of over 30 people, including my buddies on Red Rising Philippines (a.k.a. The Philippine Howlers.) My first agenda is to meet Chai, the one who organized to buy members a cute Howler hat and claim mine. However, I didn’t went straight due to my awkward/shy tendencies and waited for over 30 minutes to go when we’re seated to wait for the registrations to open.
After I got my hat, Chai also gave me a paper to raise up when Pierce makes his entrance for the Discussion later. I got to my seat and waited a bit more until they finally open the registration as early as 7:30 AM due to the growing crowd. We are asked to go outside again to form a line. I got my book signing ticket which is 40 out of 300 with a sampler of Pierce Brown’s Iron Gold and ID as an attendee of The Philippine Readers and Writers Festival almost around 8:15 AM. They also gave away free entrance pass for the upcoming 2017 Manila International Book Fair.
My friend Gabby still hasn’t arrived yet so I waited for her until she arrived around 9:45 AM. Apparently, she got lost b̶̶̶u̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶I̶̶̶ ̶̶̶w̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶’̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶g̶̶̶o̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶t̶̶̶o̶̶̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶o̶̶̶ ̶̶̶d̶̶̶e̶̶̶t̶̶̶a̶̶̶i̶̶̶l̶̶̶ ̶̶̶b̶̶̶e̶̶̶c̶̶̶a̶̶̶u̶̶̶s̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶s̶̶̶h̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶m̶̶̶i̶̶̶g̶̶̶h̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶s̶̶̶m̶̶̶a̶̶̶c̶̶̶k̶̶̶ ̶̶̶m̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶s̶̶̶o̶̶̶ ̶̶̶I̶̶̶’̶̶̶l̶̶̶l̶̶̶ ̶̶̶l̶e̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶i̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶a̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶s̶̶̶.
We ate our brunch at Tim Ho Wan. Both of us were really sleepy and hungry but our conversations about the trilogy and Iron Gold is full of enthusiasm because we’re so pumped to see Pierce Brown later. Afterwards, we strolled around nearby malls until we decided to go back at 1:30 PM to wait on Ballroom 2 of the hotel where the discussion and signing will be held.
We arrived to Ballroom 2 past 1:30 PM and the seats are almost 90% full! We hurried to find at least a decent seat and we did find out somewhere 4-5 away from the last row. Gabby and I also reserved one more seat for two of our friends that’ll be coming later.
It’s a very interesting sight. People of different walks of life and age are attending. As a fan, it made me smile a lot. Few minutes later, the venue is full and there are no seats available anymore but the organizers added more seats at the corner rows a̶s̶ ̶f̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶a̶n̶i̶c̶. Because I’m seated on a corner row, adding new seats made me have new seatmates. They’re very chill middle-aged women that didn’t know much about Pierce but very interested to listen on the discussion.
Gabby and I just talk about random stuff like on how I said that Pierce’s display picture on the projector looks like he escaped some room and is about to expose the antagonist of some story. Gabby defended him and told me that he looks really handsome on the picture which I agreed 100%
The discussion started 5 minutes earlier than scheduled (2 PM) and when Pierce stepped inside the room, I’d never been so drown with screams and howling a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶o̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶c̶o̶s̶p̶l̶a̶y̶e̶r̶s̶/̶a̶r̶t̶i̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶i̶g̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ Even the boys are screaming. Is this really a discussion and book signing event or J-Pop/K-Pop idol fan meeting? Despite saying this, I was also howling while making a heart sign at one point after I got tired of raising the printed wolf picture I got from Chai so I’m not the one to talk. LOL. The charisma of the man that’s been labeled as the “Hottest ‘Young Adult’ Author in the World” is a force to reckon with.
As soon I’d witness this sight, I know that it’ll be a different book discussion than anything I’d ever attended in my lifetime. You know, the formal clapping and the stuffy professional air on discussions? You know what I’m talking about. I didn’t feel anything like that and I’m very happy that I didn’t feel something similar to that ‘cause it means Pierce doesn’t put invisible barriers within himself and us fans.
The discussion started and it was an amazing one. It opened on the steps of Red Rising Trilogy as a successful book and what are the elements inspired the theme of the book + Iron Gold. Like seriously. I want to talk about it point by point but I haven’t written it down and my brain is still in post #PierceBrowninPH blues so I’ll just list down the highlights/left the lasting impression to me:
- Pierce has a love affair going on with adobo.
- He’s also loving bagoong.
- He thanked his girlfriend for the support (which most girls answered you’re welcome. LMAO.)
- He’s going to Palawan tomorrow (August 28, 2017)
- Pierce’s mom didn’t read the first book he finished but pretended that she did.
- He tried to write 4k words a day like Stephen King but it made his family stressed by the pressure he puts on himself.
- He writes once day without any time/goal set but tries to make at least 4 hrs. a day.
- Pierce wanted to talk more about the red Rising movie that is in development but Hollywood wants to keep it shut for now so he didn’t say much.
- For aspiring writers: Keep writing and keep trying. (He said a lot of very inspiring stuff before he said this so...yeah.)
Pierce Brown’s discussion is a success and the crowd gave a loud yet sophisticated applause with howls. It’s time for the awaited Q & A. The majority is itching to ask questions but only less than 10 people are entertained. It was a very intense Q & A. The questions are directly related to the series which the host is very surprised with as I observed. Pierce answered every question in detail which is totally satisfying. To Eriele who cosplayed Eo and asked about Roque and Tactus’ possible relationship to Pierce, I salute you! I’m so happy to know that there’s a PH howler passionate about Roque and Tactus’ possible relationship like me.
I really want to ask him about Lysander’s character inspiration and thought process while making him + his future characteristics after all the shit happened in the trilogy and how it will affect his actions at Iron Gold. I’m quite salty not being picked because I’m raising my hand with my whole might without standing or making a scene and the host still didn’t notice me. ̶I̶’̶M̶ ̶V̶E̶R̶Y̶ ̶S̶A̶L̶T̶Y.
Gabby comforted me that there’ll be next time if Pierce’ll return to Philippines again to promote Iron Gold while the middle-aged women beside me roasted the host to cheer me up because they observed that the host is only calling the one’s on their left side. I thanked them and told that I’ll try to bring up my question on the book signing instead.
The time for the book signing has finally arrived and the first 20 people are called. Pierce is seated and has a long black table in front of him. I observed that the first batch took pictures while Pierce is still seated with the long table blocking fans apart so at some point, Pierce encouraged the fans to go at his side. I want to call them the lucky ones because Pierce talked to them for quite a long time. After that, he disappeared (to probably take a break) for almost 15 minutes. He returned not wearing his suit anymore and changed his orange shirt with a black one with some organizers bringing a circle high table and have the long black table moved slightly at the back.
What an amazing man. He could leave that as it is but he wanted a closer interaction to fans so he decided that he’ll sign the books standing. Take note that he needs to interact with 280 more people and sign over 300 books. I saw posts of people who waited until the end of the signing that he stood for over 3 hours without taking a break.
With that arranged, the second batch is called. It’s finally my turn. Hallelujah! My friend Kris who arrived at the middle of the discussion offered to document the moment of my signing which I’m very thankful for. The turns are a lot quicker compared to the first batch (most likely due to a schedule) so I didn’t wait really long until it’s my turn and get to see him up close.
We looked each other on the eye and while almost everyone says that he’s hot, can we also talk about his eyes? It’s a different genre. It’s hypnotizing. I now get why Sevro collects people’s eyeballs because eyes like Pierce Brown exist.
I also need to mention that we smoothly shook hand. Like...ho—how? I never had a smooth handshake when meeting someone new. I’m a bit scared with handshakes because I know that it’ll end up awkward but on some miracle, it didn’t happen with Pierce. Here’s how our conversation went after the handshake —
Pierce: Mae? Have we talked before?
Me: Yeah. Back when Morning Star was released. I asked you when will the paperback will come out and you said it’ll be out six months later. I told you that I couldn���t wait that long so I pre-ordered the hardbound because our bookstore don’t have it yet. There’s also that one time at goodreads. Also, I replied to your tweet days ago regarding #GoReadWrite2017.
P: I saw your tweet and liked it. Thank you for coming! And yes, I remember that! I find it strange that it wasn’t out on the bookstore when it’s a worldwide release.
M: My cousin borrowed my copy of the trilogy w/c includes my hardbound Morning Star and hasn’t returned it since so I bought your books again.
P: Your cousin is a cheeky book thief...! *signs my books*
M: Yeah. I asked for my books a lot of times but they never returned it.
[National Bookstore official gesturing to take my phone for the photo]
M̶e̶ ̶(̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶s̶)̶:̶ Oh crap. I haven’t told him my inner geek -ings about Lysander. What to do?!
M: *glances on my phone* Before I forgot, I drew Victra! I was supposed to give you a print but I haven’t finished on time so this drawing is still incomplete. *shows drawing*
P: Oh wow, she looks lovely with that dress. Make sure to tweet it to me once you finished it.
M: Sure thing! (̶I̶ ̶r̶e̶g̶r̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶T̶B̶H̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶r̶e̶g̶r̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶w̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶.̶ ̶N̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶ ̶L̶M̶A̶O̶.̶)̶
Pierce then pointed at the official. He got really antsy because I talked more and my phone hanged when I’m about to set the camera. My friend Kris also took some pictures when the official tried to stop him because the policy said that only the official is the one that’s allowed to take a picture but Pierce being so smooth to this signing told the official that it’s fine.
I haven’t told a pose to do so Pierce settled on holding my shoulder while I shakily hold his waist because of the height difference. I think he felt my hand shaking so he gave a light squeeze to the shoulder before he told that we’re ready to take a picture.
After the picture is taken, Pierce handed me my books and added before we parted— Thank you for supporting my books...twice! Also, tell your cousin that they need to return your books or the reaper will come to them.
I feel like my brain melted a bit after talking to him to the point when Gabby asked me almost instantly on how is it, my sentences are pretty incoherent. When I recovered, I told her that I forgot to ask Pierce for a hug so I’m hoping that she’ll avenge for me. Gabby did ask Pierce for a hug but Pierce told her that “You’re free to hug me even if you didn’t ask.” (If you want her story on what happened to their meeting, bug her on twitter). I hugged Gabby tightly as soon as she returned and said that she avenged for me. I have such awesome friends.
Once we went out on the venue, me together with Gabby, Kris & Nat (that arrived 3 turns before my turn on the signing) strolled around the floor and took pictures before we decided to eat dinner at Kenny Rogers. We conversed and strolled more until we decided to travel back home.
Writing all what happened still feels surreal to me that I’m having a post-signing withdrawal. I’m thankful for National Bookstore that they invited Pierce to come over in the Philippines. I PM -ed them over a year ago about Pierce and when NBS announced that they’ll have him at #GoReadWrite2017, I’m beyond ecstatic and searched for a local Red Rising FB group. Joining the Red Rising Philippines, I discovered that there are a lot of PH Howlers that requested Pierce to visit Philippines too. I’m really glad that NBS reciprocated to our feelings.
Finally, Thank you Pierce Brown for coming in the Philippines. We Filipino howlers appreciate it so much! I hope that you’ll enjoy your last few days here and hopefully, visit us again soon.
Audentes fortuna juvat and live for more, my fellow howlers!
- Mae
#pierce brown#piercebrowninph#author spotlight#book signing#red rising#golden son#red rising trilogy#iron gold#long post#long text post#mae speaks random stuff
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Tired is my second name.
Here I am finally to talk about this last week. (This post will be long sorry not sorry)
On Monday it didn’t actually happen anything interesting, at least I don’t remember anything. On Tuesday it was Valentine’s day and the only thing I remember is that I took the order of a guy around my age and after having eating his meal with his friends, he left but before he did that he came to me and said goodbye and I was like “oh, goodbye…” Yousra who was working with me that day looked at me like “you know him?” And I was like “nope”.
I don’t remember if it was on Wednesday or Tuesday but Yousra came to me and told me that she had a conversation with the boss about this julebord. Ben told me on Monday that I should go and Yousra too but they were like “but why Singh (the boss) put on the shift that you work until 7pm if the party is at 5pm?” And I was like “no idea”. Ok, so Yousra went to talk with the boss to ask why I had to work until 7pm having the party two hours before. And I don’t know but it was a nice gesture, you know? I could have done it by my own, it’s my problem(?) It’s my shift but she went to talk with him just for that. So I was like “aaaawwww” thanks for caring about me, girl! And well she told me that he did a mistake that I would finish around 4pm that Friday so I could have around an hour to get ready and everything.
Wednesday was a chaos. I swear that we had more clients that day than on Valentine’s. And I was sooo freaking tired and I was mad. Mad because I supposed to meet Cecilie but she cancelled me. Again. I had to “bother” other people so I could meet her on Thursday for nothing. And she cancelled me because she supposedly had an import exam to make and it was like… “Thanks woman.” So I got mad, I was tired. I even talked with Bigepti asking her if she could help me to make this for the university (because she told me last week “if you want help, I can help you”) so I told her that, that if she could help me around 8pm that I would just send her screenshots so she could tell me where should I click. But of course Bigepti said that she couldn’t this week which is absurd, I mean I’m saying I’ll send you photos, I don’t need to meet you. So when I arrived home I was so freaking tired…and I explained all to my parents and my dad, I don’t know why, but he said “wait, I’m going to look at samordna opptak’s web” which is the web where you apply for the university and everything and guess what? Bad news too. For 4 years or even more has always been the same requirements, if you were from Spain you had to have finished high school, you have to have 7 years in English and B2-C1 in Norwegian. And I was happy for that because FINALLY I had my B2 so that would mean everything would be fine. But of course they had to change the rules, now they don’t need 7 years in English, nope. Now you need to have 140 hours of English in a Norwegian high school or having x points on some exams. I mean you could choose between this Cambridge exam, TOEFL and another one which I don’t remember. It’s pissed me off and I started crying because it feels like every time I’m close to get something, then something happens. And this time it wouldn’t be an exception.
On Thursday, I went to the school even though I couldn’t see Cecilie, I decided to talk with the director. My mum told me that I should explain her what happens and that well I went to these English classes last year so maybe I had 140 hours and everything would be fine.
BUT OF COURSE NOT. I talked with Anne-Marie and she told me I just had 93 hours or something like that, that in one year there’s x weeks for school and that I just had two hours per week…so yep, fuck everything.
She told me that I should do the TOEFL exam and well I told her that if she could call and ask how is this exam and when it would be and if I had to take any course or what. She told me “I have a lot of things to do, do it by yourself.” And I was like “wtf? You’re on your break now and you have 50 minutes. It’s just takes 10 minutes!” I mean at the end of the day I kinda talked with a woman so she could explain me a little bit but the thing is that YOU being the teacher and speaking perfectly Norwegian, well you could just help me…
But I guess nobody wants to helo this little woman here so…
Moreover I met on Wednesday I think it was a new girl who works on Burger King and her names is Namita and she’s from India. Well…to sum up I don’t like her. She was being bossy and she was like “I know everything here” but the thing is that that day started working a new boy and of course he started at the kitchen. Well I don’t know what happened but Namita had to be with him because he obviously doesn’t know how to prepare hamburgers. But the funny thing is that Namita either. And we had a little crisis where neither me or Yousra could deliver the orders to the customers. And Arjan came and was like “what the hell is going on?!” And Namita started yelling “I don’t know how to make these! I’ve just been at the kitchen two days!” And I thought she started working here like…3…4 months…but nope, she has been working here since July. So, what happened? I had to go helo this boy. Me at the kitchen. And well I thought I couldn’t be able to make all of them but it was fine. Arjan was like “don’t stress, if you have doubts just ask.” And well when I came back to take orders, Namita…damn she was making me nervous. Looking at my orders, throwing things… Seriously it was a disaster.
Then Friday came and I had to work with Ben and it was funny of course. It is nice to work with him. I asked him about his name because on, you know, this list with phone numbers I found out that his name is Merlijn and that’s why I found his Facebook and everything.
So I asked him like a silly looking at his order “Why it is written Merlijn and not Ben?” Then he told me that it was his real name, well in fact both of them are real but Merlijn is his first name. Anyway, we talked and I asked him how would people pronounce his name (something that I actually knew because I wrote it on Google translate and heard how did it sound lol) He told me that I was the only one who could pronounce his name perfectly and he told me also that I’m the only one who works really good to be just working a month there. That I learnt really fast. And I don’t know why but we talked about last names and he told me his last name means “tall tree” which actually fits him lmao. I asked him if he knew mine and he told me that he knew mine because he saw it on Facebook, on the group that all the people from Burger King has, and I was like “have you been stalking me?” Hahahahaha.
Then at 3 almost 4 these people from other Burger King came. They were going to work in ours because we were going to this julebord. But damn it was so stressful because those who came were really slow and there was a moment where we didn’t get any hamburger and even Ben got nervous and stressed and he was like “Why there’s no hamburgers?!”
But well at 16:40, Ben and i finished working and got ready to this party. And it was nice, honestly. We went to an Indian restaurant, I sat between Namita and Mihael, a boy from Croatia who was kinda funny. I sat next to Namita because I wanted. The thing is that I wanted to sit on one of the chairs which were on the middle of the table, because if I sat on a corner then I would be forever alone. So my plan was really good. Ben sat next to Mihael and whenever Mihael left to the toilet or went to smoke, Ben sat in his place (aka next to me) we talked and in general we all talked. There was once when Namita asked me to smell something and I told her that I couldn’t smell, and it is true, I can’t. I’ve never smelled, okay not never...but almost. Those times where I smelled it was because the smell was really strong. So the thing is Mihael and Ben heard me and Mihael asked again “seriously, don’t you smell?” and I was like “nope.” and he was like “oh, man! So I put my cologne for nothing?!” He was obviously joking but well it was nice to talk with him lmao. We drank too. AND the best part was when we left. I decided to go with Katherine and Yousra to the metro. Then Mihael said that he was leaving too and Ben joined us too. And when we separated Ben said goodbye to everyone and he hugged me. HE HUGGED ME. He hugged Yousra too (Katherine left before that) but the main thing is that he hugged me too and it was really awkward because he is really tall. But it was cute.
On Saturday I didn’t work but I had to on Sunday and it was exhausting and stressful. Damn there were a lot of people. I met Victor, another guy from Burger King. He looks a little bit like Austin Butler and he seems 19 (maybe I’m wrong, who knows.) Nobody likes him, they say that his way to work is kinda difficult and he in fact is difficult. I thought he was nice and maybe they were just overreacting but….nope, I was wrong. I mean he seems nice but he talked to me like I was an idiot or something like that and he took my hamburgers l instead of waiting for his. Or even the fries!
Rebecca and Ben came later, Rebecca around 1pm and Ben at 4pm. I was taking orders and everything when suddenly I saw my family at Burger King in front of my place where I take the orders. Damn I got scared. My parents, my brother and my uncle, aunt and cousins were there. Of course I took their order and I made them pay less. My mum told me that Victor tried to take their order but she said to him “no” and it was funny because most of the people came to my place instead of going to his. Ben helped me a little bit with my orders and there was a moment when he took a cheesburger and he was going to deliver it but I was like (while I was taking my family’s order) “no, wait it’s two cheeseburgers not one” and he was like “no, it’s just one” and I replied “nope, it’s two.” So he looked again to this ticket and of course I was right and he looked at me and smile to me and I smile to him (BUAHAHAHAHAH) I mean I guess I showed him that even I’m taking one order and everything I remember all of my orders. But seriously it was exhausting working on Sunday and this week I have to work on Saturday and Sunday…
After finishing working I was meeting Chrysanthi and Giannis. And Utsav. When I left Burger King I realized they were waiting for me inside the restaurant and I was like “oh, hi” I hugged everyone and we went to eat “gyros” which is a typical greek food, it looks like a kebab. And well I didn’t talk with Utsav almost, I mean we talked but I talked more with Giannis who I talked the day before almost the whole day by snapchat. I like Giannis, he might be young but it’s really nice to talk with him. Where we went to eat this “gyros” thing, the place well it had a few tables to sit and everything and they decided to sit in a square table with two chairs and a sofa. Utsav sat on a chair and Giannis on the sofa, Chrysanthi was like “where do you want to sit?” And I said “I don’t mind” and Chrysanthi, I think she wanted to sit next to Giannis on the sofa but then Giannis said suddenly “She’s sitting with me!” So I sat next to Giannis and Chrysanthi on the chair. I had so much fun with Giannis because we were all the time joking and playing. Funny moment when Utsav took off his jacket and started showing his red sweater, the one that I gave him last year and he started moving himself, touching the sweater...and I was laughing on the inside because it was like “seriously? Are you doing this? For real?” I obviously pretended that I didn’t see him. Another funny moment was when we were walking on the street and there was a mexican restaurant and I told Giannis that on Valentine’s day you could get a taco for free if you kissed someone. What happened that Giannis was like “seriously?” And Chrysanthi and Utsav heard us. Giannis repeated what I said and after that he added “oioioi girl, what happened on Valentine’s day?” And I just answered him with an “oioioioi” and started laughing. Utsav didn’t say anything. He was quiet and he just talked when he tried to be funny and make bad jokes. We said goodbye around 10pm and I mean I was really tired, it had been a really long day but I was feeling great. I didn’t see Utsav since June (except from that day where I took the same buss as him, but we didn’t talk and of course we pretended to not seeing each other) so I was waiting for this day to come so I could see if I was over him or what. And you know what happens? I don’t actually feel anything. I don’t actually hate him or I’m not even mad. I thought there could be a possibility to get a little bit sad, but it didn’t happen so… APPLAUSE TO ME.
And well if we talk about Monday, I didn’t want to leave my bed and either today. Damn I’m really tired. And moreover on Monday I got my period and it was awful. I worked good but I was really tired. And today has been really exhausting. This week is Vinterferie and well kids don’t have class and there are people who takes vacations and stuff. So a lot of people came and I don’t know but I was seeing myself really good working. But at 6pm I started being tired and well thank god I’m done for today. Tomorrow I started working at 2pm so at least that means I can sleep more, plus I have Thursday and Friday free so yeah, good.
Damn this post has been really long, but I told you! It was a long week.
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