Tactical cuddling

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Soap: i was cold

Ghost: he was cold

Soap: *nodding*

Ghost: he was shivering

Soap: practically hypothermic

Ghost:

Soap:

Price:

Price: 😐😑😐

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i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like

the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself

adults of tumblr how on earth do you decide on what mattress you want to order

✦ Coffee Shop AU ✦

tim gets de-age-beamed and jason is forced to stay at the manor because timmy only wants to hang out with his favourite robin

Transcript:

LET'S SETTLE THI- Oh hang on. Hang on, Machine, um.

It's 8 PM I need to take my testosterone.

Sorry I'll just be a second. Uh wait here, alright?

Audio Source

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

not "they did nothing wrong" or "they are a horrible bastard" but a secret third thing: they did things wrong and I like that about them but everyone over-exaggerates their negative impact on the story

Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine

potatoes of indeterminate size

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😜 this strain is called “urca de lima” 😳 youll be zonked out of your gourd 

me: yeah whatever -_- i dont feel shit

5 min later: dude i swear i just saw a witch of a puritan woman

my buddy dufresne pacing: captain flint is lying to us

Cis women on tiktok for the past like 4 years: "I'm girly pop, I do girl math and have girl dinner after going to my girl job ✌️😜"

Dylan Mulvaney: *makes a mediocre pop song that is literally just about that*

Those same cis women:

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"