#and it makes more sense now why i grew up so fucking insecure and feel like i can never trust my own judgment about anything ever
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Being gaslit sexily by a hot fictionable man is miles more preferable
#cw personal stuff in these tags#redstrewn talks#this is about parental gaslighting#im so obsessed with being sexily gaslit i think its to cope with parental gaslighting#i realized my mom lies to me about really important fucking shit only like 2 years ago and im like in my mid twenties already#when actual serious advice she told me was to lie to my boyfriend about something really fucking important not to lie about#the moment i realized this i picked up on her tendency to do this more. when a parent tells an important truth to a child in a movie#my moms reaction is “they shouldve just lied to him”#and my dad follows along with what my mom says#it makes me wonder all the things i might have been lied to about#and it makes more sense now why i grew up so fucking insecure and feel like i can never trust my own judgment about anything ever#and feeling generally insane incompetent deranged and delusional#to the point where i cant get myself to face the world
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In My Feels
Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
summary: Steve’s heart now belongs to the pretty woman who always comes in with her two adorable kids. When he finally decides to make a move, he’s shocked to find out she’s not their mom.
warnings: fluff. Barista!Steve. Reader and Steve are both in their 20’s. Nanny!Reader. Modern!au. Readers ethnicity/skin tone is not mentioned. Pictures above are used for aesthetic purposes only. Shitty writing/grammar errors, not proofread.
*if I miss anything please let me know.
a/n: day two of my birthday bash has finally arrived!! I’m so grateful for the amount of love and support you guys have given me. Although this is my birthday week, I wanted to spend it with you guys and give us both something we can enjoy :) I love every single one of you guys and I hope you like this!
Now I’m in my feels
Way up in the clouds somewhere now
Don’t know what’s real
Working at the Java Cup, Steve dealt with a lot of different people. Tired students, doctors and nurses coming and going from shifts, and everyone in between. During the six months of his employment there only one customer seemed to catch his attention, you.
From the moment you walked in he knew he was fucked. With one kid on your hip and the other in the stroller, you already had him in the palm of your hand. No matter what, rain or shine, you and your two kids always came in with bright smiles. Although a lot of your interactions were small talk or your older son trying to, his heart infatuation for you every single time.
You were so fucking beautiful and Steve was nothing but a fool for you. So many times he would go home and just pray that you weren’t taken, that maybe somewhere written in the stars there was a chance for him.
Steve wanted to ask you out but every single time he chickened out, throwing out multiple cup sleeves that had horrible puns written on them in the process. Ever since getting broken up with by Nancy, his self esteem and confidence dropped. No matter how many times his best friend and coworker, Robin, tried to talk some sense into him, he just couldn’t do it.
It was comical watching him stutter and blush scarlet every time you would speak, tripping over his words like it was his first time ever talking. Because he was so smitten with you, his insecurities grew and poking fun at him any time he would think about possibly asking you out.
Here you were, a pretty mom with two adorable kids that he adored, so sweet and kind to him, and so far out of his league. There was no pot at the end of this rainbow for Steve, but he continued to chase it in hopes that maybe, just maybe he was wrong.
Now it's been six months and Steve has run out of steam, his legs growing tired and his lungs burning with exhaustion with how long he's been running. So, he's decided that it's time to give up on his mission to of getting to the finish line.
There was no point to continue trying, not when you're probably more than happy with the father of your children, going home to your white picket fence and happy home. So he pulled back, watched from behind the counter, and continued to daydream about the life he's always wanted.
“You know you could just go talk to her, right?” Robin’s voice is louder than she thinks, the low music and hum of the espresso machine doing little to cover it up.
“Say it louder, why don’t you.” Rolling his eyes, Steve continues to wipe down the counter that he’s been working on for the past ten minutes.
“I’m just sayin’, it’s kind of pathetic and creepy that you’re always staring.” Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, the brunette girl runs her hands down her black apron. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“What’s the worst-” Turning on his heel quickly, Steve stares at his best friend with wide eyes, “Robin, there is a laundry list of things that could go wrong.”
“Yeah? Try me.” Crossing her ankle over the other, Robin leans on the sink with a waiting look.
“Firstly, she could be married,” Steve starts counting on his finger.
“No ring on her finger.” Robin counters.
“Well she’s a mom with two kids, I doubt she has time for a twenty something, no good, barista that barely has his life together.”
“EEEEEEEE WRONG,” She makes a loud buzzer noise, “One you aren’t no good, you’re actually a really great person who needs to see just how amazing he is. Two, you may be a barista who can barely keep his life together but, you’re reliable and take care of yourself, not to mention you have your own car and place, more than other twenty somethings. And lastly, you’re also a mother to a group of teenagers, so it works perfectly.”
Dropping his hands down to his sides, Steve lets the words settle into his heart. He was a good person, he did have a good impression with the gaggle of kids he sometimes watches, and he did have some of his life together.
“Okay well, she could reject me and I will not only lose more of my confidence but I’ll also lose my favorite customer.” Sighing in defeat, he whips the rag that still sits in his hand over his shoulder. "Either way, I gave up on that dream a long time ago."
Robin shakes her head, stepping forward to the boy she calls her best friend and shakes him by the shoulders. “You are Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington! There was a reason everyone called you king Steve and it wasn’t just because you were a huge dick.”
“Hey!!” Steve raises his voice in defeat and she waves him off continuing her peptalk.
“Listen, I know that lady killer is somewhere in there,” She pokes at his chest, “So you’re gonna put your big boy panties on, walk up to her and ask her out! I’m sick and tired of watching you look all sad and depressing, so you’re going to do as I say or I’ll do it for you.” Smiling brightly at him, the girl taps him lovingly on the shoulder.
Robin may be a lot of things, including annoying, but a liar is not one of them. Steve knows that she will one hundred percent walk up to you, throw him under the bus, with a mega-watt smile as she does it.
Watching his friend walk around the counter with a broom and dust pan in hand, her head turns to wear your sat at a table by the front window, talking to your older son, rocking your baby in the stroller with your foot. Turning her attention back to Steve, she smiles wickedly and turns slightly like she’s heading your way. Anxiety rises in the back of his throat, heartbeat picking up and banging hard in his chest.
“Fine, I’m going just- fuck off.” It comes out through gritted teeth. Running a shaking hand down the front of his apron, Steve rounds the counter muttering something under his breath.
As he walks to the table, Robin gives him two thumbs up and an exaggerated smile to which he replies by simply throwing a middle finger up at her.
As he steps closer to your table the thought of turning back around and hiding in the back room comes into mind.
There’s no pot of gold here, only gray clouds and roaring thunder. He can turn back now and continue his sorrowful journey of pining.
But then he looks at you, smiling and laughing at something the young boy next to you said, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back. What a beautiful way to die, Steve thinks. The thunder and lightning is all worth it when he gets to see you as he takes his final breaths.
“H-hey,” His voice is wobbly, nervousness clearly showing as he speaks.
“Hi Steve.” Your eyes meet his, saccharine smile tugging on the corners of your lips.
“Hi steeb!” The young boy next to you waves while clutching a red crayon in his tiny hand.
“Hi Aidan. How are you little man?” Steve seems to loosen up a bit, the presence of your son lets him exhale just slightly.
“M’colorin a pixture.” The small boy’s tongue pokes between his lips, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he draws what looks like a demented stick figure.
“It looks good, little dude.” Steve encourages, cooing sweetly at him.
“Fanks.” Still focusing on his picture, the smaller boy grabs a different crayon from the box that sits on the table.
“What’s up, Steve?” You ask, still rocking the stroller back and forth with your tennis shoe covered foot.
“Oh-h yeah, um I was just gonna ask, ah what you were doing.” Just like a switch, he’s back to being a fumbling doofus.
You giggle at him and he feels his cheeks tingle with heat. Looking between the two kids, you look back up to the older man in front of you.
“Well, I’m enjoying a coffee while Aidan colors and Bella naps peacefully.” You nod your head slowly, eyeing the barista questioningly.
Steve wants to slap a hand on his forehead, embarrassed by the fact he can’t even formulate one sentence.
“Yeah, no I see that. Seems fun, I mean not fun but like ya know, seems-“ His stammering is cut off by your soft voice.
“Are you okay? You seem really nervous.” Your eyebrows are pinched together, worry painted on your features.
“Me? I’m great, fantastic!” It comes enthusiastic and way louder than he intended, so loud that Robin hears and instantly facepalms.
“Well, that’s great Steve.” You’re still eyeing him suspiciously and he really wants to jump ship.
“I’m just gonna go and do my ugh, my stuff.” Hooking a thumb over his shoulder, spinning on the ball of his feet leaving before he can say anything else embarrassing.
No, he can’t leave now, not when he’s made it this close to the finish line. This is what he’s been waiting for, the treasure he’s been searching for. It’s no or never and he can’t go back to praying the same prayer that somewhere in this universe you two were destined to be.
With a new found confidence, he turns right back into the eye of the storm and faces it head strong.
“Actually, I came over here because I wanted to know if maybe you’d like to go out sometime.” His chest is puffed out like, more sure of himself than he’s ever been.
The confidence that’s surging through him starts to falter when he reads your expression. You, and Aidan who has now stopped coloring, stare at him with bugged out eyes and gaping mouths.
“Only if that’s okay with you and all. If you want you can bring the kids along and we can go get ice cream and stuff but if you need it I have some friends who are great with kids and who will be willing to babysit for you.” He’s back peddling, trying to give you a way out in case you want to reject him it won’t hurt so bad.
“Oh Steve,” it’s said with pity and he knows the lighting strike is about to hit, “I-I’m not their mom.”
“Yeah no I get it, sorry if I- wait..” Stopping in his tracks, he looks back and forth between you and the small boy, connecting the dots in his head. “You’re not their mom?”
You and Aidan share a look before giggling together. Gazing back up at the flustered man in front of you, you smile kindly at him.
“No, I’m their nanny, Steve. Although I love them like they’re my own, they’re not.”
“Oh.” Steve continues to stare at you, his pretty pink lips in the shape of an O.
“Yeah, I just watch these little guys.” You shrug your shoulders.
“That’s still cool, I mean the offer still stands.” Even though he’s confused, his voice is a little shaky when he asks.
“Do the kids still have to come?” You ask and Aidan shouts an offended “hey”.
“I mean they can if you want, it’s all up to you.” He eyes you, waiting for your reaction but your expression doesn’t give him much to go on.
“Hmmm, I’m going to have to ask my trusted right hand man.” Holding a finger up at him, you leave over to the smaller boy next to you.
Aidan covers you hear with a small hand trying to cover the movements of his lips, even though Steve can still his his muffled whispers from where he stands.
Shaking your head, you repeat back uh huh’s to him, taking everything that’s being said seriously.
Moving back to your upright position, you stare at Steve with a serious gaze.
“Well, my counsel says I should go but you have to buy me ice cream. No buts about it.” Your straight face begins to falter when Steve’s white teeth shine at you.
“Yeah, I’ll get you whatever ice cream you want.” Steve bobs his head, cheeks flaring pink and eyes shining brightly.
“You can’t kiss, only mommies and daddies do dat stuff.” Aidan pipes in and Steve can’t help but chuckle with how the little boys face is scrunched up with intensity.
“Yes sir.” Steve gives the little boy a solute, while sending you a sneaky wink, and the kid quickly accepts.
“So, I’ll text you?” Steve asks
“Yeah, I’d like that.” Your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth as you say it.
“Okay, cool cool. I’ll ah, see you later.” Steve nods his head, backing away from the table slowly.
Sprinting to the backroom, he sees Robin who pretends like she hasn’t been listening in.
“Robs, I fucking did it!” Steve whisper yells, still cautious knowing your still out there.
“I honestly thought you were gonna back out for a second! I’m so proud of you for hanging in there!”
The two of them start hopping around like jumping beans, beaming so brightly they can outshine any star in the sky.
“So you got her number?” Robin asks, heavily breathing from all their excitement.
“Fuck-“ stopping dead in his tracks, Steve bolts to the door and back out to the front.
That’s where he finds you’ve already left and he’s heartbroken. The only memory that you were even there is your lingering perfume that sticks to the air.
You’ll probably be back some time soon but he’s still a little let down knowing he didn’t fully seal the deal. Looking closely at the table, he notices Aidan left one of his drawings.
Picking up the paper, he looks at it closely realizing Aidan didn’t leave it, you did.
Steve,
You left before I could give you my number. I didn’t want to disrupt your little party or anything.
Can’t wait to get that ice cream.
-your favorite customer
683-027-9305
Folding up the paper, Steve sticks it in the pocket of his apron.
“Don’t worry Steve, she’ll be back.” Robin calls out from behind the counter, apparently not seeing the little not that was left.
“I know she will.” It’s said quietly but the smile on his lips isn’t.
It’s beautiful on this side of the rainbow, Steve thinks, the pot of gold was so worth all the work. Robin was right, he still had it.
Thank you all for joining me on this second day of my celebration!!! I hope you all enjoy!! Love you all ❤️
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#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington fic#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington#steve harrington friends to lovers#modern!steve harrington
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Oneshot: Matt confronting you after you start getting quiet. You’ve been getting insecure and you feel like you’re holding him back. This hot ass man is sweet as fuck tho!!!
talk to me - matt sturniolo x fem reader
a/n: took my own little twist on this :) sorry is there are any mistakes!
warnings: mentions of toxic childhood, not eating, hate comments, insecurities. if you are going through any of this please talk to someone! my inbox is always open if you need some to rant to 💞
as always my inbox is open for requests, but other than that, enjoy!
lots of love,
m💌💌💌
it had been about 2 weeks since you and the triplets have done anything together. every time they asked you to do something that involved getting ready nicely you shut them down. this wasn’t like you, normally you were a very bubbly and happy person who was always jumping at opportunities to do something fun, so you knew they were starting to get suspicious but you just brushed it off and moved on.
lately you’ve been feeling very insecure with yourself. you grew up in a toxic environment, which lead to you always having the thought in the back of your head that you weren’t good enough. recently, you’d been in some of the triplets videos, and the hate had been adding to this. you’d stopped eating as much, cutting down to a few snacks a day, maybe a whole meal if you were lucky. it’d been like this for a while, and while you hated doing this to yourself, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.
a few days had passed and matt was starting to get worried. he knew you were struggling at the moment but he didn’t realise it was this bad. the triplets ordered canes for dinner last night, and while matt thought you ate your meal and didn’t finish because your stomach was hurting, he was wrong. he found your entire meal in the bin the next morning and suddenly everything made sense. he’s been trying to muster up the words and courage of what to say to you. he knew he had to do something, he couldn’t bare to see his beautiful girl going through this. he waited a while before finally going to your guys’ shared bedroom, already finding you sat on the bed, phone in hand. you had bags under your eyes. you’d lost a lot of weight, you weren’t yourself anymore.
“hey baby, can we talk?” matt stuttered,
“uh, yeah of course,” you hesitantly replied, these kind of conversations always made you nervous. “uhm i don’t really know how to start this, but i saw all of your food from last night in the trash, i thought you ate some of it?” matt asked.
shit. you thought.
“oh eh i just wasn’t that hungry thats all.” you quickly replied, hoping to end the conversation.
matt knew that was all bullshit.
“love, you and i both know that isn’t true,” he spoke.
oh you were screwed.
“talk to me baby, whats going on?” he carried on, adding a comforting hand to your thigh, you tensed under his touch.
tears started to well up in your eyes, you knew you couldn’t keep it in anymore, you had to tell him. “i’ve just been feeling a bit insecure recently, i mean you’ve seen the comments right? everyone thinks i’m fat!” you’d broken down by now. matt’s face was drained with guilt. “baby those comments don’t mean anything! your the most gorgeous girl i know! they’re just jealous, mean 12 year olds! please don’t let them affect you. everyone loves you so much, nick loves you, chris loves you, and i love you more than anything! this isn’t healthy, you need to eat.” matt was right. “i know, i just didn’t know what to do.” it was a lame excuse and you knew it, but you had nothing else to say. “please talk to me next time, you know i’m always here for you,” he reassured, you lazily nodded.
“i love you matt.” “i love you more baby, why don’t we go get ice cream from down the street, your favourite?” matt smiled. “that sounds great honey, thank you.” you blushed.
matt quickly kissed you forehead and grabbed his keys from the dresser. he held his hand out for you as you got up and interlocked fingers, making your way to the car.
what would you do without this boy.
tags: @sturnioloslurps @lacysturniolo @lewisroscoelove @55sturn @freshloveforthefit @lanai3mother
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I love your fics so much! Could you maybe write one where reader is very insecure about being on her period because her past boyfriends were grossed out by it but Pedro is just being the sweetest. Like maybe bleeding through on his bed and freaking out and apologizing but Pedro is just being sweet about it?
I think I got this request a while ago also for joseph quinn, which makes me wonder how many awful men you have encountered in your life babes
The sun shined through the open window as a gentle gust of wind tussled your hair, waking you from a peaceful sleep.
You felt something on your chest, and as you opened your eyes, found Pedro's hand and arm shamelessly extended on it.
He always wanted to keep you close, even in the middle of summer.
You soaked in the feeling for a moment, breathing in a slow breath as you let your eyes travel over to his figure.
A small smile involuntarily drew itself on your lips as you took in his puffy eyes and gaped mouth as he slept like a baby.
A smile that grew wider as you recalled how he once told you that he had always had trouble sleeping, but since he slept in bed with you, he had never had that problem again.
he had told you so casually, like it was nothing, but each time you watched him sleep, his words came back to melt your heart.
You wiggled under the thin blanket, trying to get rid of it as the heat started getting to you, but just as you did, you couldn't help but freeze as your eyes focused on the white blanket covering the mattress.
There was a red stain. Right between your legs. right on the fucking bed. His fucking bed.
Shit.
shitshitshit
No this can't be it, your period wasn't supposed to come for another three days, what the fuck?
"fuck" you absentmindedly cursed, as your eyes filled with panic.
What the fuck am I gonna do now?
"good morning to you too" Your boyfriend's voice startled you.
Nonono
You turned around to find a lazy grin on his lips.
"g-good morning" you gulped, your mouth suddenly dry.
He must have still been a little asleep because he didn't notice your tone as he leaned up to give you a quick kiss, but once you didn't reciprocate, too much in your head to do anything but wish to disappear, then he asked:
"what's wrong?"
Oh god
To say you wanted to run away was an understatement.
"I-" you squeezed your eyes shut, praying to however was listening to make this all disappear.
"what? What happened" his eyes wrinkled with worry.
"I just..." you let your eyes set to where the stain was, and he followed your glare.
"I'm sorry" you whispered, suddenly not able to talk in more than a thread of voice "I'm-I'm so sorry baby, I'll clean it up right away- I just- It wasn't supposed to come already" you muttered "I'm so sorry, please don't be mad"
His silence was killing you, and once he raised his head to look at you again, your heart began to race as you waited for his inevitable disgusted reaction.
"mad?"
Why did he sound genuinely confused?
"I-yes, I just... I know it's kind of... gross"
And there it was again, a confused frown persisted on his face.
"What are y- Baby what are you talking about?" he asked, his tone gentle, like he was honestly asking "It's not gross, and I'm definitely not mad" A smile pulled at his lips "Why would I be? It's normal, it's-human"
what?
Your brain couldn't comprehend his words
"w-what?"
His smile got wider as one of his hands reached up to stroke your cheek "Sweetheart why would I be mad that you got your period? It doesn't make any sense"
A breath got caught in your throat "A-are you being serious?"
"yes" he promised, smiling "Of course I am baby"
"oh" you breathed "I just- I thought you would have been grossed out by it"
"I could never be grossed out by anything concerning you, angel" he promised, his eyes boring into yours "I love you way too much for that" he smirked, kissing your cheek.
"Now let's go have a shower so I can help you get cleaned up"
"b-but what about the bed?"
"I'll worry about the bed later. Let's go" he continued, getting up from the bed and settling in front of you.
"c'mon" he urged with grabby hands
You accepted his invitation and got up with his help.
"thank you" you said
"for what?"
"Just...for being you"
And to that, he laughed softly
"anytime, sweetheart"
#queuing is my fav sport#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal blurb#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal x fem reader#pedro pascal one shot#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller#the last of us#tlou#the mandalorian#javier peña#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#fluff#daddy pascal#pedro pascal imagine#pedrohub#Pedro Pascal#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#pedrito
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Hey really enjoy your writing. I was hoping if you could accept my request. Fem reader is human mate to the volturi kings . She met them while her friends and her where Ghost hunting it was night time and they friend to get in she’s ended up meeting them that way lmao she was 😳
Spooked but intrigued needles to says her life changed that day. She has had a blast getting to know the 3 kings and befriended the guard. She’s was always insecure and sometimes it’s hard to believe she gets to be with amazing people like they have so much knowledge and even been through a lot in life. One day she over heard a new guard talking shit about her. “Why is a human so important to the kings. The probably will just use her and toss her out. She’s so useless and doesn’t do anything. She heard it and got so depressed she locked herself in her room. It got so bad she sorta stoooed eating because she thinks he sorta is right compared to the kings she really does not grasp why they are with her she understands she’s their mate but wishes she could do more.
Cue the kings and the guard being worried /pissed because they can’t see her and got even more worried because she’s not eating and crying all the time. The twins are also mad they investigated and slowly found out how she heard some new guard talking shit. The vampire will now understand the phrases fuck around and find out.
Needless to says the guard is pissed with this vampire and the kings will take care of him soon 😡
But first their b loved need to understand how her work and her perspective as a human is so precious to them and to the her she’s that breath of fresh air that they need she makes their day’s joyful and they can’t see life without her. Marcus s all of them coax and explain how much she means to them. They get very vulnerable with her 🥹🥺
You cans add romance and fluff if you feel comfortable.
Now after reassuring her they take her so she can see them end this fool 😡😈
A trial is done to this stupid guard that dared to do this to their mate it’s not going to be a pretty execution 😈
👁️👄👁️ this is so long but at the same time 👁️🫦👁️ I like it, therefore enjoy 👁️👅👁️
↱ protecting what’s theirs ↰
➘ summary : a stupid ghost hunting trip leads to an unexpected meeting
➘ aro x reader x caius x marcus, twilight x reader, volturi x reader
The full moon cast an eerie glow over the ancient streets of Volterra as (Y/N) and her friends ventured into the heart of the city. Armed with flashlights and a sense of adventure, they were on a ghost hunting expedition like no other. Volterra's rich history and legends of the supernatural had drawn them here, but little did they know, they were about to stumble upon a world beyond their wildest imagination.
The cobblestone streets echoed with the hushed laughter of the group as they meandered through the shadowy alleyways. The atmosphere was charged with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. The tall, imposing buildings seemed to watch their every move, and (Y/N)'s heart raced as her flashlight flickered, casting eerie shadows against the ancient stone walls.
As they turned a corner, the distant sound of footsteps caught their attention. A chill ran down (Y/N)'s spine, and her grip on the flashlight tightened. The footsteps grew closer, accompanied by an indistinct murmur that sent shivers down her spine.
"Did you guys hear that?" (Y/N) whispered, her voice barely audible above the hushed whispers of her friends. They nodded, their expressions a mixture of excitement and trepidation.
Their flashlights converged on the source of the sound, revealing three figures emerging from the darkness. Dressed in attire that seemed both elegant and out of place, the strangers exuded an air of authority that demanded attention. Their eyes glowed with an otherworldly intensity, capturing (Y/N)'s gaze and holding it in a vice-like grip.
"Who are you?" one of (Y/N)'s friends stammered, her voice quivering.
"We are the Volturi," the tallest of the strangers replied, his voice smooth and commanding. "And you are trespassing in our domain."
A mixture of fear and fascination washed over (Y/N) as she studied the enigmatic trio. The Volturi - the name resonated within her like a haunting melody, awakening something deep within her soul. Unbidden, her eyes met the piercing gaze of the Volturi king, his crimson irises holding a promise of secrets and mysteries beyond her imagination.
Before anyone could react, the situation took an unexpected turn. A low growl reverberated through the air, followed by the emergence of another figure from the shadows. This newcomer was different from the Volturi, his presence radiating an aura of danger and wildness. His eyes locked onto (Y/N), a mix of curiosity and something more primal flickering in their depths.
"Demetri, Felix, we have guests," the newcomer's voice was a velvet whisper, sending a shiver down (Y/N)'s spine.
The tension in the air was palpable as (Y/N) and her friends found themselves caught in a web of intrigue and danger. The meeting of humans and supernatural beings was fated that night, setting in motion a series of events that would forever alter their lives.
The atmosphere grew electric, the very air around (Y/N) seemed to thrum with a hidden power. She tore her gaze away from the newcomer and back to the enigmatic Volturi kings, who exuded an unsettling mix of authority and intrigue. Questions tumbled in her mind, but the words caught in her throat.
"Forgive our intrusion," one of (Y/N)'s friends managed to stammer, her voice trembling. "We didn't mean any harm."
The tension eased slightly as the Volturi king who had spoken regarded them with an inscrutable expression. "Curiosity often leads mortals to unforeseen encounters," he mused, his tone measured.
"But now that you've seen us, you pose a risk," the newcomer interjected, his voice like velvet edged with steel. "A risk that requires management."
(Y/N)'s heart raced as the implications of his words sank in. What did he mean by "management"? The situation felt precarious, like a fragile balance hanging by a thread.
"We promise, we won't tell anyone about what we've seen," another of (Y/N)'s friends hurriedly assured, her voice quivering.
The Volturi kings exchanged a look that conveyed volumes without a word spoken. It was as if they communicated through an unspoken language that (Y/N) couldn't comprehend. After a tense pause, the leader of the Volturi spoke again, his gaze resting on (Y/N) once more.
"Your words are noted. However, secrecy is not the only matter at hand. There is something... unique about your presence here."
The intensity of the Volturi king's gaze sent shivers down (Y/N)'s spine. She felt like he was peering into her very soul, unraveling the thoughts and emotions she kept hidden even from herself.
"What do you mean?" she managed to whisper, her voice barely audible.
A ghost of a smile touched the corners of his lips, but it did little to ease the unease coiling within her. "Some things are better shown than explained," he said cryptically.
Before anyone could react, a swift movement caught their attention. The newcomer, who had been lurking at the edges of their conversation, now stood in front of (Y/N). His intense gaze bore into her, a mixture of curiosity and something far more primal.
"Would you allow me to show you?" he murmured, his voice like a seductive whisper.
(Y/N)'s heart raced as she met his gaze, her mind torn between fear and a strange attraction she couldn't explain. Her friends exchanged nervous glances, their unspoken concern palpable.
"Show me what?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly.
The newcomer's lips curved into a predatory smile, and a flicker of something unreadable danced in his eyes. "The truth about who we are, and who you are becoming."
As the moon cast an ethereal glow over the ancient streets of Volterra, (Y/N) stood at a crossroads between the mundane world she had known and the enigmatic realm that had suddenly opened before her. Unforeseen encounters had set her on a path of discovery, a journey that would challenge her perceptions and forever intertwine her fate with that of the Volturi kings.
In the days that followed that fateful encounter, (Y/N)'s life took an unexpected turn. Intrigue and curiosity won out over fear, and she found herself agreeing to the newcomer's proposal. What could he possibly show her? It was a question that echoed in her thoughts, driving her to embrace this newfound journey.
As days turned into weeks, (Y/N) discovered a world she had never dreamed of. The Volturi kings, Aro, Caius, and Marcus, each held a presence that was simultaneously awe-inspiring and intimidating. Yet, to her surprise, they welcomed her into their midst with a warmth and hospitality that shattered her preconceived notions.
There was something about their timeless wisdom and the stories they shared that drew her in. Aro's insatiable curiosity, Caius's unwavering determination, and Marcus's melancholic wisdom—each king offered a unique perspective that broadened her horizons.
But it wasn't just the kings who left a lasting impression. The main guards, Felix, Demetri, Jane, and Alec, became her friends. They possessed a camaraderie that was forged through centuries of loyalty and trials. Their stories, filled with both triumphs and heartaches, served as a reminder that even the seemingly immortal beings had faced their share of challenges.
Despite their extraordinary existence, (Y/N) found that they too were grappling with their own vulnerabilities. Jane's fierce determination masked a deeper longing for acceptance, while Alec's quiet demeanor concealed a well of emotions. Demetri's playful banter belied a complex history, and Felix's imposing presence shielded a heart of gold.
As (Y/N) spent time with them, she began to realize that they weren't just powerful beings, but individuals with their own struggles and insecurities. It was a humbling revelation that helped her see herself in a new light. Her initial insecurities, the nagging doubts that she didn't belong, began to fade.
With each passing day, (Y/N) embraced the friendships she had forged. They didn't judge her for her mortal limitations; instead, they celebrated her unique perspective and her willingness to learn. She found herself laughing more, exploring the hidden corners of Volterra with her new companions, and immersing herself in their world.
And through it all, the enigmatic newcomer who had introduced her to this world kept his promise. He showed her the secrets of their existence, revealing the intricate web of alliances, rivalries, and histories that shaped the Volturi's power. (Y/N) listened with rapt attention, her thirst for knowledge deepening as she delved into the labyrinthine tales.
As the weeks turned into months, (Y/N) realized that her life had irrevocably changed. She had transformed from a mere mortal into someone who walked among beings of unparalleled power. But even more importantly, she had found a sense of belonging, a place where her presence was valued and her voice was heard.
The grand halls of the Volturi castle echoed with footsteps, laughter, and murmured conversations. (Y/N) had grown accustomed to the rhythms of this supernatural world, finding comfort in her friendships with the kings and their guards. But one day, as she wandered near a corridor, her steps slowed involuntarily as she overheard a conversation that shattered her newfound sense of belonging.
The voices, though hushed, reached her ears with a clarity that cut like a blade. Her heart hammered in her chest as she recognized the voice of a new guard, someone she hadn't interacted with much. The words he uttered were like poison, seeping into her thoughts.
"Why is a human so important to the kings? They'll probably just use her and toss her out. She's so useless and doesn't do anything."
Those words echoed in her mind, a chorus of doubt that she couldn't escape. As if struck by an unseen force, she retreated from the corridor and fled to her room, her steps heavy with a sadness she couldn't put into words.
Locked away from the world outside, (Y/N) sank onto her bed, her thoughts a tumultuous storm. The echoes of the guard's words reverberated in her mind, amplifying the insecurities she had once managed to overcome. She had believed that she belonged here, that her friendships and connections were genuine. But now, the shadow of doubt loomed over her.
Tears welled in her eyes as she battled the emotions that threatened to engulf her. She had thought she was strong enough to face the skepticism of the outside world, but the venomous words had struck a chord deep within her heart. The weight of her perceived uselessness bore down on her, suffocating her spirit.
Hours passed like a blur as (Y/N) grappled with her emotions in the solitude of her room. The once-familiar space now felt like a prison of her own making. The world outside seemed unreachable, the bonds she had formed now tainted by the poison of doubt.
But just as darkness threatened to consume her completely, a soft knock on her door drew her attention. Tentative at first, then growing more insistent. With a heavy sigh, (Y/N) forced herself to rise from the bed and open the door, revealing the concerned faces of Demetri and Felix.
"(Y/N), are you alright?" Demetri's voice was gentle, his eyes reflecting a genuine worry.
Her voice caught in her throat, and she turned away, unable to meet their gazes. It felt like they could see right through her, past the façade she had constructed.
"(Y/N), you heard that, didn't you?" Felix's voice was quiet, tinged with a sadness she hadn't expected.
Unable to speak, (Y/N) nodded, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She felt vulnerable, exposed, as if her deepest fears were laid bare for them to see.
Felix stepped forward, his large frame engulfing her in a comforting embrace. "You're not useless, (Y/N). You've brought light into this place, and your friendships are genuine. We've seen it, felt it."
Demetri joined them, his hand resting gently on her shoulder. "We understand that words can hurt, but don't let them define you. You're part of this world because you've earned your place."
Tears spilled down (Y/N)'s cheeks as their words sank in. She realized that she hadn't been alone in her struggle. The friends she had made here saw her worth, even when she couldn't see it herself.
Despite the support of Demetri and Felix, (Y/N)'s mind remained ensnared by the guard's hurtful words. Their reassurances were like a lifeline, but her doubts had taken root, growing stronger with each passing day. The castle that had once felt like a sanctuary now seemed like a place where she didn't belong.
The laughter of the kings and the guards, once a symphony that brought her joy, now felt like a reminder of her perceived inadequacy. She watched them with a heavy heart, wondering why they would choose to be with her, a mere human. In her eyes, they were luminous beings, powerful and wise, while she was fragile and ordinary.
As the days turned into weeks, (Y/N)'s insecurity morphed into something more insidious. She began to withdraw, spending more time in her room, lost in a sea of introspection. The once vibrant glow that surrounded her seemed to dim, and even her interactions with Demetri and Felix felt strained.
The guard's words had taken root deep within her, echoing through her thoughts even as she tried to push them away. Food lost its appeal, and her appetite waned as she contemplated her own worth. She wanted to do more, to contribute something meaningful, but the weight of her perceived uselessness bore down on her, sapping her energy.
Demetri and Felix's concern deepened as they watched her retreat further into herself. They tried to offer solace, to remind her of her place among them, but their words fell on deaf ears. Every reassurance seemed like an empty echo against the overpowering tide of self-doubt.
In the heart of the Volturi castle, a sense of unease hung in the air as Demetri and Felix stood before the three kings. The normally imposing presence of Aro, Caius, and Marcus seemed muted in the face of their guards' obvious distress.
"Demetri, Felix, you both seem troubled. What weighs on your minds?" Aro's voice was laced with a curiosity that never failed to unnerve.
Felix exchanged a look with Demetri, a silent understanding passing between them. With a deep breath, Demetri began to recount the events of the past few weeks—the encounter with the new guard's hurtful words, (Y/N)'s growing isolation, and her plummeting emotional state.
Caius's expression darkened as he listened, his fingers tapping rhythmically against his armrest. "And you say she's confined herself to her room? She's not eating?"
Felix nodded, his voice grim. "Yes, she's been locking herself away, hardly eating, and she seems to be in constant emotional distress. We've tried to reach out to her, but our words don't seem to reach her."
Aro leaned forward, his fingers pressed together in thought. "This is troubling indeed. We were aware of her insecurities, but we had hoped that she would find solace within our company."
Marcus, who had been silent throughout the conversation, finally spoke in his characteristic soft tones. "It appears that the shadow of doubt has taken a firm hold on her. She questions her place among us, her worthiness."
A heavy silence settled in the room as the weight of the situation hung over them. Aro's eyes glinted with a mixture of concern and determination. "We must not let this darkness consume her. We have seen her strength and resilience. It is our duty to remind her of the light she brings into our lives."
Caius's gaze was steely as he spoke. "Felix, Demetri, I want you both to find a way to reach her. Encourage her to open up, to share her thoughts. We cannot allow her to remain trapped in this cycle of despair."
As the guards nodded in agreement, Marcus offered a quiet suggestion. "Perhaps, the presence of the kings themselves might help break through her isolation."
Aro smiled, his expression one of reassurance. "Yes, we shall pay her a visit. Together, we will show her that she is not alone, that her place among us is secure."
With renewed determination, the three kings and their loyal guards set forth on a mission to bring light to (Y/N)'s darkness. The castle's grandeur and power faded in importance as their collective focus centered on the fragile human whose presence had stirred something profound within them.
As twilight settled over the Volturi castle, the air was charged with an unspoken tension. The kings had made their decision, and Alec and Jane, the twins known for their formidable powers, were chosen to investigate the events that had cast a shadow over their domain. The twins moved with an eerie grace, their gazes set with an intent that held an unspoken promise of retribution.
Their path led them to the new guard's quarters, and with a swift motion, Alec opened the door. Jane's crimson eyes bore into the guard, her gaze like a laser that could cut through steel. The guard looked up, caught off guard by their sudden presence.
"Mind if we have a word?" Alec's voice was deceptively calm, but there was a flicker of danger in his eyes.
The guard shifted uncomfortably, his bravado faltering as he sensed the aura of the twins. "What do you want?"
Jane's lips curved into a cold smile, her power radiating from her as she stepped closer. "We heard about your little chat the other night. About (Y/N). Care to elaborate?"
The guard's eyes widened in realization, but he tried to maintain his composure. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Alec's patience wore thin, and his tone hardened. "Don't play games with us. We know exactly what you said. We know about the doubt you sowed in (Y/N)'s mind."
The guard's defiance wavered, and fear crept into his eyes. He stammered, "I... I didn't mean anything by it. I was just venting."
Jane's voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. "Your words have consequences. You underestimated her strength, and now she's suffering because of it."
A tense silence hung in the air as the twins' words hung heavy between them. The guard's mask of arrogance had crumbled, revealing a hint of vulnerability that Alec and Jane took note of.
"We suggest you tread carefully from now on," Alec's voice was a chilling warning. "Because you've just invoked the wrath of the Volturi kings, and they don't take kindly to those who threaten their own."
With that, the twins turned and left the room, leaving the guard to his thoughts. As the door closed behind them, a sense of unease settled over the castle.
Meanwhile, within the chambers of the kings, the atmosphere was fraught with a simmering anger. Alec and Jane's report had ignited a fire within them, and the knowledge of (Y/N)'s suffering had only fueled their determination.
Demetri's eyes darkened with rage as he clenched his fists. "The audacity of that guard to undermine (Y/N)'s place among us. She deserves more respect than that."
Felix's jaw tensed, his expression mirroring the anger of his comrades. "It's clear we need to set an example. We can't allow this kind of behavior to go unpunished."
Aro's lips curved into a dangerous smile, his gaze glinting with a mixture of power and retribution. "It's time to show this guard what it means to cross the Volturi."
The kings and their loyal guards united in their determination. The guard had unwittingly invoked the fury of the most powerful beings in the vampire world. The phrases "fuck around and find out" took on new meaning as they hatched a plan to ensure that the guard understood the gravity of his actions.
In the shadows of the castle, a reckoning was brewing—a reminder that the Volturi did not tolerate threats to those they cherished. The guard's actions had set in motion a chain of events that would shape the fate of all involved.
As the days unfolded, (Y/N)'s sense of isolation began to wane. The support of Demetri and Felix, along with the kings' determination to mend the damage, had chipped away at the fortress of doubt she had built around herself. The light that had dimmed within her began to flicker once more, illuminating the path toward acceptance.
One evening, as the moon cast its silvery glow over the castle, (Y/N) found herself alone in her room. The atmosphere was charged with a mixture of anticipation and unease. The knock on her door signaled the arrival of unexpected visitors.
"(Y/N), may we come in?" Aro's voice was gentle, tinged with an underlying warmth.
Heart racing, (Y/N) opened the door, revealing the three kings standing before her. Their presence was awe-inspiring, yet this time, it didn't fill her with trepidation. Instead, a sense of belonging enveloped her, and she welcomed them with a mixture of gratitude and curiosity.
"Please, come in," she managed to say, her voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside her.
As they entered her room, the kings' expressions were a blend of concern and determination. Aro, the one most adept at voicing thoughts, took a step forward. "We want to apologize for any distress you've experienced due to the actions of one of our own."
Caius's gaze was piercing, yet there was a hint of understanding in his eyes. "We should have intervened sooner, defended your place among us."
Marcus's voice was soft, carrying the weight of his centuries of wisdom. "You are not just our mate, (Y/N), but a valued member of our family. Your presence has enriched our lives in ways words cannot convey."
Tears welled in (Y/N)'s eyes as their words sank in. They had come to her, not just to reassure her, but to affirm her worth in their lives. The fortress of doubt she had constructed crumbled, and she felt like she was standing on the precipice of a new understanding.
"I... I don't know what to say," she whispered, her voice catching.
Aro's smile was warm as he approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to say anything. Just know that you are cherished, valued, and loved.”
Caius's voice was a whisper that held an unspoken promise. "And we want to make amends for any pain you've endured."
Marcus's gaze held a quiet intensity. "Which is why we've decided to have a trial for the guard who caused you harm."
(Y/N)'s eyes widened in surprise, a mix of emotions churning within her. "A trial?"
Aro nodded. "Yes, a trial. We want you to be there, to see the consequences of his actions, to understand that the Volturi do not tolerate threats to their family."
Caius's voice was firm. "You will witness his judgment."
Marcus's words held a sense of finality. "And you will know that you are not alone."
Tears streamed down (Y/N)'s cheeks as she met their gazes, her heart overflowing with gratitude and a newfound sense of belonging. In that moment, she understood that her place among them was not just by chance, but by choice.
As the moon bathed the room in its glow, the kings and their mate stood together, bound by a connection that transcended words. In the embrace of their love and support, (Y/N)'s journey of self-discovery continued, her spirit rekindled by the realization that she was an integral part of the world she had come to call home.
#x reader#x reader one shot#x reader oneshot#x reader requests#volturi imagines#the volturi#alec volturi#demetri volturi#aro volturi#aro volturi x reader#jane volturi#felix volturi#volturi imagine#marcus volturi x reader#caius volturi x reader#marcus volturi#requests open#now taking requests#twilight x reader#twilight#twilight x you#twilight imagines#twilight x y/n#twilight masterlist#twilight imagine
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damn. can't stop thinking about binghe being shen yuan's comfort character in his previous life now. idk, but i am simply convinced that shen yuan has had the childhood of a typical asian middle child, made worse by the fact that he's from a rich family. all his little quirks and oddities would actually make a whole god awful lot of sense too if that were the case. like it would just makes sense.
ofc nobody else would be as good in watering down their feelings, devaluing their positive qualities, and underestimating their ability to make any real impact (on anyone they of value) than a second child who grew up often compared to the first and had been, intentionally or unintentionally, made to feel like they never have or never will measure up or measure enough.
i think it's also why of all the moments, he only genuinely started to understand binghe's true feelings when binghe began going off about feeling unwanted and never being enough to make anyone stay. all those feelings, those exact insecurities too, despite himself, he understood well enough bc he'd lived with them his entire life. even built half of his personality and put up most of the mental and emotional walls he have up to cope with them.
for so long, he'd seen binghe, post-abyss, as someone so unlike him. as far as he's concerned he's just some average guy who needs to learn how to settle with whatever life gives him bc he'll never be good enough to really, really achieve things. binghe, on the other hand, is an OP protagonist destined for greatness, to have everything and everyone he can ever want, to be chosen by anything or anyone he chooses.
they can't be any more different!!! except as it turns out, casting roles aside, binghe doesn't feel any differently about himself as shen yuan feels about his own self. and worse of all, and he's realized this too, that he's the last straw that got binghe feeling so strongly that way about himself.
anywaY, yes. binghe as shen yuan's comfort character—hoo boy, yes. he would soooo love a character like the original flavor binghe, alright. middle child who's constantly made to feel like he'll never be enough would totally love the living hell out of a white lotus who's constantly treated like a lesser being by the people around him only to emerge as a blackened OP protagonist who finally has achieved power not just over his life but the whole fucking world!!!
even before binghe turned real, he's helped shen yuan embrace, even just a little, his own feelings. they really are soul mates, idk, god.
#svsss#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#bingyuan#bingqiu#brain dump#sorry this got long#and is probably incoherent as hell but i am high on caffeine and in the middle of a brainrot
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okay but nancy’s reaction to robin at the library front desk makes so much sense for her character. karen is affectionate with her, and tries her best, but we saw in season 1 that she really struggled to communicate with nancy and only really got to openly communicating with her about her feelings by season 3. and karen and ted clearly haven’t been a very good example of communicating how you’re actually feeling and what you’re actually thinking. so nancy is really not good at communicating (we see this with mike too). nancy didn’t really open up about her feelings about all of the events of season 1 until she got blackout drunk a year later. and we can tell she’s still not super accustomed to heart-to-hearts in season 3 when she says “I don’t need a jonathan byers pep talk right now, I need to be on time,” which shows how much more used to having emotional conversations jonathan is, bc he’s always having them with joyce and will, whereas nancy rarely talks about her feelings with karen and pretty much never with mike.
so imagine being that unfamiliar with open emotional communication, being so used to passive aggression and keeping personal stuff to yourself, and then within the first ten minutes of meeting robin she just starts being like “hi I feel like you’re annoyed here are my insecurities and anxieties and where they come from and how my mother reinforces them” like nancy probably feels like she got hit by a bus in that moment, like she’s SO out of her depth. and it’s played for laughs but it’s kinda sad that robins like “here is plain open communication immediately” and nancy’s just like “what the fuck is that what is happening” like she is so bewildered by someone being clear and open so quickly bc she’s so personally closed off. and it is v painful a a viewer to watch her be rude to robin when robins trying her best to understand what’s happening, but even though it’s not the kind response I think its the in character response and it makes sense that nancy’s immediate response is a little passive aggressive bc there’s a lot of passive aggression in her house.
and like lbr robin probably did hurt nancy’s feelings a little by calling her idea a shot in the dark bc nancy’s intelligence is very important to her so she probably feels like robin was calling her dumb which probably hurt her and her response is to be a little bitchy bc that’s what she’s learned! (and mike does it too throughout the whole show, which also shows how it’s learned from the environment they both grew up in). so it’s so cool to see that scene bc yes it’s played for laughs but also it’s a really concise look into how nancy and robin each respond differently to their feelings being hurt. when nancy feels insulted she gets snippy and when robin feels like nancy’s being a little rude she’s like “let’s talk about why!” and nancy has no idea what to do with that. anyway I just appreciated that point of consistency in nancy’s character and think it’s really interesting how you can see how each character’s upbringing affects them (especially nancy and mike and how similar their communication skills—or lack thereof—are).
also makes it very sweet to see the slow progress. like nancy still being snippy even as she opens up to robin more: “so maybe I did flinch or wince or something!” but then she does eventually get soft and vulnerable too when she says “does that make us… friends? like, officially?” like she seems so hesitant and nervous to put that out there openly but robins been so open with her that she goes for it! and then when robin takes her hand she looks surprised but then eases into it and is able to be open and comfort her and responds well to robins vulnerability by the end of the season!! UGH their relationship is so important to me. okay sorry this was just supposed to be about nancy not ronance but here we are anyway lol okay have a good day thanks if you read all this lmao
#listen nancy is getting there okay lol#also:#would love to know more about robins upbringing and home life#nancy wheeler#ronance#alcohol cw#alcohol mention#angst cw#st4
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Will and Alyss are trans here’s my essay
We talk a lot about how funny it is that Flanagan unintentionally wrote the gayest love story between Halt and Crowley in TEY, but holy shit we don’t talk enough about how he also managed to accidentally write the two most trans characters ever.
Alyss and Will being trans is a semi-popular headcanon that’s been in the fandom for ages now, but I haven’t seen many people really dive into why this headcanon is so prevalent. I think that partially has to do with the fact that, like any lgbtq+ identity, it’s pretty difficult to clock someone as trans without relying on trans stereotypes. Really, any character in the RA series could be trans if you chose to believe it since being trans doesn’t look any certain way. That being said, I do think there are some pretty clear qualities and experiences that Will and Alyss have that feel very close to my own experience with being transgender.
Physical appearance is usually the first thing people point out/notice when talking about this headcanon. Will is short, more so than one might expect from a cis man. Alyss is taller than most men and also has a deep voice. I have mixed feelings about people pointing to this as the only reason they think they’re trans. I mean, it makes enough sense for it to be the only reason since one part of being trans is the fact that one’s body doesn’t match their gender identity. What I don’t like about that being the only reason is that there’s so much more to the trans identity and experience than “body don’t match :(“
But that’s the cool thing about Will and Alyss, their physical appearance effects their perception of themselves the same way it does for a trans person (or a cis person really, but it feels much more prevalent in trans people). In the first book, Will is clearly uncomfortable with his height; almost any time it’s brought up, he replies with “I haven’t had my growth spurt yet”, almost defensively. Then, as Will becomes more comfortable with who he is, you can see it bother him less and less. I love this bc it’s exactly what happened with my dysphoria as I transitioned. The more I got to know myself and discover myself, the less my dysphoria bothered me.
As for Alyss, she is so clearly so confident with her appearance. She never tries to hide her height or voice. Although we don’t get to see her journey with those qualities, the way she’s so confident feels like something the earned. It’s something she maybe used to feel insecure about, then decided she gets to decide what femininity means to her. Her height and voice contribute to her elegance and femininity rather than contradict them.
Another thing about Will is his name and how it relates to his identity. I know Flanagan didn’t intend for any of this to be some trans allegory, but goddamn can I relate my trans experience to it. Will grew up without a last name, and you can see how deeply that effects him. It wasn’t just that he was “Will no-name”, he was missing a part of his identity. Hell, he said verbatim “at least you know who you are” to a fucking owl because he felt so confused and unheard (which btw is the most edgy teen thing he ever did).
Though you can see this missing part of his identity bother him less as he gained a support system, it’s still clear that he felt like something was missing. If he didn’t feel like something was missing, he wouldn’t have been so incredibly happy when he became “Will Treaty”. And when he got his last name, you can tell he’s proud, not because he finally has an identity, but because he finally has a name to match the identity he’s spent so long discovering and cultivating. He no longer expresses any sadness or grief that he doesn’t have his father’s last name, because he doesn’t need it to know who he is. He’s Will Treaty, and he’s perfectly happy with being exactly that. This is the most trans-coded naming experience holy shit.
Anyway that’s all I have to say about this (for now at least). Go give your local trans friend a kiss.
#rangers apprentice#will treaty#alyss mainwaring#trans will treaty#trans alyss mainwaring#ranger's apprentice#trans
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Okay, just a thought,
What if Ben started going though a transformation that started making him look more spidery? How would Homelander react?
I think Homie really is the kind of guy to stick around and get used to the changes. Likewise, I think he’d end up fascinated by them, honestly. He might even find fun ways to incorporate them into their sex life, because that’s just how this man is.
Nsfw ahead bc i can’t help myself:
I imagine if Ben grew another two sets of arms (8 limbs), Homelander would be living his best life. That’s extra hands to pet his hair, stroke his sides, touch his cock, play with his balls, and finger his ass all at the same time. He’d be in tactile heaven and I sincerely doubt he’d wanna leave. Plus, the snuggling? The hugs? He’d be down so bad.
If Ben grew fangs and could secrete venom from them, I think there’d be no problem there. In fact, some spider bites (such as the banana spider) can cause erections that last for several hours, so I think there’d be plenty of fun to be had there. I imagine Homelander would enjoy being bitten, and bonus points if Ben can actually puncture his skin so that he can really feel it. Also, the thought of him getting in the mood and just holding his arm out like, “bite,” is so asdfhkjffk to me. Yeah, he has no refractory period already and can ride a boner all day, but maybe the prolonged erection manifests as extra sensitivity in him.
Ben’s setae are concentrated in his finger pads and the soles of his feet, so I don’t think he’d end up all furry like a spider, but, even if he did, I think Homie would just shrug it off after he got used to it.
Thank you to @anon-nee for their infinite spider knowledge with this bit: Male spiders try to book it after sex so they don’t get eaten alive by their mate (i know this is mostly about appearances, but this is just so cool aadhflkj and i’m SUCH a slut for angst). If Ben ended up developing this instinct, I think it could make for some hurt feelings on both ends. Like, why does he think Homelander looks so scary after sex? Why is his spider sense urging him to get the fuck out of the room? Ben knows he’s safe, but it’s still scary. I imagine Homelander would be crushed by the thought that Ben is suddenly so scared of him. The man can practically smell fear, so he’d know as soon as it started that something was up. He jumps to the worst conclusion: Ben must not love him anymore, obviously. I think it’d take a while to settle the turmoil from this one.
The rest my brain is coming up with is Ben growing a few more sets of eyes, which, possibly a little odd, but I still think Homelander could get over it. Maybe Ben ends up insecure about it and starts wearing beanies to cover them and Homelander is constantly trying to pull his hat off. “Yeah, it’s weird, but now you can stare at me in six different ways! What’s not to love?”
Ultimately, that’s his lil spider bf, and we know this man will cling to someone he loves until he literally physically cannot anymore (and even then, will seek out remnants of them [yes, I’m talking about the milk scene hahaha]). I think as long as Ben stays true to him, he would do the same no matter how Ben looks.
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hello,
I don't know how serious you were when you said "someone needs to psychoanalyse Harry Osbourn" but ask and ye shall recieve? I am running on 4h of sleep, and just write my penultimate final so, like, this isn't the most consise or detailed but it does answer every rhetorical(?) question you posed.
I'm explaining all the psych stuff assuming you don't have any orientation to the bullshit I'm about to spew, and I'm adding in links wherever explaining this will take too long so.... this is going to be a little pretty long.
Now, ideally psychoanalysis would be done via multiple hour long session (like nearly 20+) where the client just talks about their past memories, childhood, how they feel right now and what they think. Occasionally we throw in a dream or two, to see what their unconscious desires are.
Essentially it’s very talk based, and in person is obviously the best. Since Harry is (a) fictional, and (b) not giving me enough screen time in the movie to just use the words he says, I'm not treating Harry like a client. Instead I'm just taking what we know about him and applying psychodynamic theories to him and treat him like a case study.
Now, I'm not actually sure how serious you were about the Psychoanalysing
We’re beginning with two main theories,
1. Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development: where the exploration of sexuality, formation of gender, it’s influences on self and the desires of a person are formed.
2. Erickson’s Psychosocial Stages of Development: which tells us what social needs were met, what weren’t, and how that influences personality/behaviour.
Note: Because it’s Freud and the late 1890s, sex and gender are the same and only the binary exists. Thus, this theory doesn’t look at gender, sexuality and is VERY outdated. These explanations are only used for heteronormativity, and homosexuality is considered a perversion from norm (which I’ll go into)
#1: Infancy to Toddler-hood:
My guess, due to Norman being abusive, cold, distant and uses money/luxury gifts to show his affection (if any), shit hits the fan from Stage 1 of the Psychosocial Stages: Trust vs Mistrust (0-Toddler age). At this stage it’s super important for a child to be around their primary care givers. Not having a primary care giver (parent, grand parent, nanny — someone who’s there with the child forming a deeply intimate bond) leave children with a sense of mistrust in the world. It make’s them prone to insecurity, and give the child unhealthy patterns of attachment, generally making them very “hope-less” (as in they are more likely to feel hopeless, isolated and alone and not just like... pathetic).
Assuming Emily Osborn died like a year after Harry was born, it's been somewhat implied she died due to post-pregnancy complications, Harry didn't have his mom around during the v imp phase. Norman is said to have really loved her and there’s a chance that after her death, Norman blamed Harry and treated him terribly. Either way, this means Harry grew up without the necessary bond post age 1, which has fundamentally fucked him and his perception of the world. Pair with this the entitelement that comes with wealth, and it's just truly too much.
#2: Toddler-hood to Childhood:
Now I’m going to the phallic stage (ages 3-5, toddler to child). This is from the psychosexual development, Freud’s theory. (Note: not the same theory as mentioned in the previous point). The middle stages in both theories are somewhat irrelevant to explain why Harry’s so.. that, but I can elaborate if you need it??
During the phallic stage, the idea is that the (cis)male child struggles with the Oedipus complex. He develops an attraction for the parent of the opposite sex, but is threatened by the parent of the same sex and thus begins to imitate the same sex parent to win the opposite sex parents affection.
So the son is attracted to the mother, but is threatened by the father (this specific fear in men is called castration anxiety for boys). Thus they imitate their father and his behaviour, hoping to receive affection from women who are like his mom. This obviously can influence the way he treats women.
Freud says neither heterosexuality nor homosexuality are innate, they are instead how we resolve our phallic stage — heterosexual is normal way to resolve it, and homosexual is to deviate from the norm. Now homosexuality could be a fixation of this stage — not resolving the conflict with his father and being heterosexual, will make him gay.
But I think he’s bi, so Harry associates with his father the way Freud expects children to, thus making him attracted to women as per normal (and also, this is why he identitfes as male, and doesn't have gender confusion). But he has unresolved his issues with Norman and wants his fathers affection and love. Both his parents are equally unattainable to him, one is dead the other is distant. Thus, Harry has to deviate from the norm on an unconscious level, and wants his fathers approval which he will get via the same resolution. This just means he loves and seeks approval from both men and women, which just like... makes him bi???? (keep in mind, sexuality and gender spectrum is the biggest limitation to Freud's theory
#3: Childhood
I’m skipping to the inferiority vs industry stage (ages 6-11) in the psychosocial stages where the child learns to either be industrious — confident, social, ambitious; or feels inferior.
I think Harry became industrious, he was taught to be strong and be the ruthlessly aggressive bully, and was also doing that because it was what got him his dad’s approval. He unlearns it, but it is also his nature, in a more innate way.
This stage in the psychosocial theory, starts right where the phallic stage in psychosexual ends. So, I’m guessing that Harry resolves his sexuality crisis via Freud, but his social needs of love, belonging and care are still up in the air, which he resolves via Erickson’s. This appeases his base consciousness, he has two problems, they are solved. It doesn’t matter if it’s healthy or not, he is literally 10. He does what worked for him, and associates with his fathers way again making him the confident bully that we see him as.
So now we come to Peter... what’s up with that?
Peter is smart like his father.
His need for his fathers love is thus projected here. There’s a sort of transference, his need for approval from dad is not only found in Peter, but like Peter actually genuinely loves him too. Emily, his mother, no idea what she’s like but let’s she loved him unconditionally, and he probably felt safe around her — Peter evokes those same feelings in Harry. Thus, his means of resolving his gender and sexuality crisis during the phallic stage is coming back to bite him in the ass, via Peter. He’s like the mix between what he needed socially, love and acceptance; with what he desires, approval from his father who is a smart man
Why does he treat MJ like that? Because that’s how Norman shows love and affection to a person. Norman just spoilt this boy with his riches, and didn’t show an ounce of love or affection, and thus Harry assumes spoiling MJ is how he can show that he loves her.
Why is he dating MJ, the girl his best friend loves. Remember that bit about attraction to the opposite sex parent, so you associating with the same sex to win affection? Well. He’s doing that… but wrong. He is associate himself with what the object of his affection (Peter) is attracted to (MJ), in hopes that he will become like said object of attraction (like MJ), thus winning over (because Peter will now want him). I am not claiming that Harry is normal, or ok. I’m just saying, this is how you can explain it.
Why take Peter out on these not-dates? Same logic as point 2, it’s how he shows affection.
Why does Harry ask Peter to go hit on MJ? Denial. The defence mechanism of denial specifically
I can go on, but I will stop.
PS. Also, you’re right. Not only is Harry in love, he subconsciously desires Peter? Like on a carnal level.
harry osborn has been psychoanalyzed
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Weekend Wip Game ✨
I was tagged by the lovely @daffi-990 thank you mwuah 😘
Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)
(I cut it off halfway cuz I went long like always...)
1. WIP List:
so as you know my wip list is pretty long, but the active ones right now are:
• the mudslide fic
• the jealous eddie fic
• the breeding kink fic
• the accident fic
• the donation smut
2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?
the mudslide fic is currently standing at 38.6k and I expect at the very least 20k more... which wouldn't just make it my longest current wip, but also the longest fic I've ever written
3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?
the mudslide fic hands down, unless something drastic happens and one of my wips gets away from me (though from the inactive wips I expect two of them to be around the same length, possibly)
4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?
I enjoy all of them, but the mudslide fic is surprisingly joyous to write, even though it's mostly just me putting the boys through the emotional and physical wringer lmao
5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?
listen. I love writing the mudslide fic, but I kinda wrote myself into a hole with it, in the sense that I included a couple of real life locations (though only vaguely) that I just had to make shit up for, which is fine cuz the show does the same, but... idk it's long and the boys spend quite a large chunk of the story separate and it makes me worry that people will find it boring or just idk will be nitpicky about it... like, I have confidence in my writing, but I'm also forever insecure about it??? ugh
6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?
uhhh I guess the accident fic?? because it's short and it's kind of written in the way I usually write ficlets, which means I don't spiral about the details that much and now I'm worried that it's gonna seem rushed or way too out of sorts 😓
7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?
none of them, I'm very much a fuck it we ball type of writer
8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer’s block?
yeppppp. that's why I have so many active wips atm cuz I got stuck on both of my main ones 🥲
9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?
the mudslide fic – and she's barely even in it, but she grew on me anyway 💛
10. Which WIP is the sexiest?
I have to say the donation smut... or the breeding kink fic, whichever floats your boat I guess
11. Which WIP is the angstiest?
the mudslide fic, definitely
12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?
I'm not sure??? like, I try my best in all of them, but I can't necessarily say if I succeeded idk
13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?
again, I'm probably gonna have to go with the mudslide fic
14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?
👆 I've been doing quite a lot of research going into legal procedures, sixth grade curriculum and body decomposition in water, just to name a few (and most of these barely feature btw 🥲), not to mention looking at the map of LA constantly to gauge distances, but it's still kinda fun though
15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?
uhmmm I don't have high expectations for any of them, if we're talking about like, comments and kudos and stuff... usually the fics I just write in a moment of inspiration and just throw online get more attention than the ones I try to finetune for hours/days/weeks, so you know... I try to write fics for myself and hope that there are people they resonate with 🫶
16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?
listen, I have really hectic and weird dreams, but I don't think I ever dreamed about any of my wips
17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?
well, if nothing else, operating with this many characters is something I'm not exactly used to, so the mudslide fic and the jealous eddie fic are kinda unique in that regard, I suppose
18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?
I'm not... exactly big on writing goofy stuff, which is unfortunate because I love reading it, but I mean it a 100% when I say angst and smut is my bread and butter
19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?
not a very deep dive, but I do touch on a side character's background in the mudslide fic, no outside povs though
20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs
idk?? uhh it's not an active wip, but all I could think about is that Homesick For Your Skin isn't my first parallel universe fic, but it's the first one I had to work out without magic 🪄
I'm sure most of you have already done this, but here are five no pressure tags anyway:
@forthewolves @jesuisici33 @callaplums @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz
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What do you think of Cersei? Do you like her character? (Both show and book versions)
*EDITED POST* (11/6/23)
Watched GoT before reading the books.
I genuinely loved & was fascinated by Cersei (as a character). There was never a dull moment with her and her nonsense.
She actually made sense behaviorally:
[me] raised to believe in the exceptionalism of her house and her father, overly entitled due to her need to resist her father's devaluing of her, selling her body out for power, and her need to practice power. Her need to protect her kids and claim to put them before anything else was rife with hypocrisy, yet I also was moved by her losing Joffrey. Why? Because you could see she actually loved him in her own fucked up way and she herself was both understandable (in the sense that I could see how she turned out the way she did hoe the patriarchy failed her immensely), active, and not boring. I loved that she was bold and that she was bold enough, since childhood, to fuck her own brother and use the Targs as part of justification. I think of her self-inflicted loneliness that comes with her narcissism: she wants love and power but she can never truly accept the power and love she does receive (being Queen Dowager and having Jaime so into her) because she wants perfect, absolute power and to be seen/be "perfect"ly in control, in appearance, in manner and be equal to the sort of man she imagines she could be if she were Jaime...to be "Jaime" (also why and how she doesn't actually really understand or can relate to anyone, even her own lover since both were children) and to have all the power a woman or man can have over every other woman in Westeros. She's compelling because her desires are intense and clumsily handled. Kirby describes Cersei as "childlike' in her emotional control. For some, she's very relatable in how she self-sabotages her need for just...more. Some do not even have to be narcissistic to relate to Cersei so much as know what it feels like to realize you'll never have a thing denied to you and still desire it, sometimes go too far in trying to embody/obtain something like it.
[thoughts and being reminded after watching TikTok's Gamesof ThronesHistorian] Before Robert whispers some other girl's name on their wedding night, Cersei also has an issue with not "measuring" up to the masculinized standards of competent personhood, so Robert's revealing that he wants and continues to want Lyanna over her pokes at Cersei's deepest insecurity. Cersei expected to marry Rhaegar after Tywin dumbly got her hopes up and she spent a lot of her time fantasizing about being with him and being Queen--hopes are dashed after Rhaegar marries Elia instead when Aerys dismisses Tywin's suggestion--he calls Tywin a "servant", thus if Cersei ever heard this (she likely did) she would also have been mortified and jilted. After the rebellion goes in Robert's favor, she marries him and she finally gets to be Queen (the position dangled in front of her like a prize since childhood, snatched away, and now she "has" it back), she discovers that the queenship doesn't make up for Robert's clear preference for the same girl "her" Rhaegar got himself supposedly killed for. She thought she "won" against Lyanna & Elia, that they wouldn't "haunt" her ruined dreams, and that her marrying Robert would fix everything but the marriage only traps her with a man who will never see her without thinking of what he's amissing with Lyanna. And it quickly becomes abusive. For someone like Cersei, who grew up being told she is the most beautiful and thus an exemplar of women and having almost nothing for herself but that AND being queen as Tywin always promised to her own self (bc her patriarchal society affords way less in terms of prestige, value, and recognized respect to women as it does men & boys AND makes physical features comparatively final measure of worth for girls and women]), it's not that hard to see that Cersei's feelings are not baseless, totally irrational, nor groundless. Her already existing insecurities mushroomed into a plague that also sharpened her need to be "perfect", and counteract the feeling of never measuring up. Her emotions are so intense and uncontrolled and she remains totally unaware of her loneliness & she doesn't really ever address this properly to understand how she can at least psychologically and independently believe in her own strength and develop such strength, so she comes across as childlike.
That being said, I hated her as a person both in the show and the book because of her abusiveness of her brothers, her children, her delusions of grandeur, the disrespect and audacious spitting at the Martells (when it was Tywin who enabled Elia and her kids’ murders) -- I don’t remember, but it is totally within Cersei’s character to be glad for Elia’s murder out of jealousy and entitlement.
I also experienced abuse from my own mother and she is very much like Cersei in a lot of ways. It was refreshing to see that onscreen and in a book. But I also understand her because a huge part of why she is so evil and power-hungry is because of society and her own family continuously objectifying, dispossessing, and degrading her for being female, AND then she makes the unconscious-conscious "decision" to hate women and try to embody her father (unperceived flaws and all) to feel in control and accuse agency and political power for herself while using the avenues available to a woman simultaneously (making her extremely hypocritical). Tywin treated hers as a broodmare and political device more than he ever seemed to treat her as someone to care for and never seemed to have had a truly intimate moment with her. And, as a cis woman who looks "feminine" enough and who was born into a family that is heavily on the conservative side despite being of African descent, I have experienced what she has several times. Her hypocrisy, her hungry need, her falling into her own traps and the fact I can really understand her while being disgusted by her at times are what allure me to her.
Therefore, she is one of my favorite ASoIaF villains. Maybe even my top? IDK.
Check out these 2 Posts I wrote about her where I'm a bit more analytical about her:
#cersei lannister#agot characterization#asoiaf asks to me#A Game of Thrones#AGoT#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#cersei's characterization
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Ch.278: what a weird feeling and weird finale... it’s so happy that it is almost sad.
Reflection on it and and the overall manga
Premise: I still love what this manga gave to me, I know I’ll sound harsh in some… many moments, but I still love the characters I had the chance to know, so I’m just kind of disappointed in how the ending was done but not surprised (for the real salt, you should have seen me when Game of Thrones and How I Met Your Mother ended lol).
EDIT: I wrote this the previous days when I knew something about the ending but I didn’t read the chapter yet. Against all odds, idk if it’s because I’m in a good mood today, but i’m not as salty as i thought i’d be.
Because, even if these characters are not my beloved one, that I’ve learnt to know and love, it was… nice, seeing them like this, in this version. So while I’m not as mad as I thought I’d be, and I get both sides, the ones that hated this and the ones that loved it, I can’t help to be both sad and… kinda okay, but not really? This is not the ending I wanted, I didn’t want any revival arc since I had accepted the death of all these characters, but this is what we got. For good or worse, it’s over and even if I couldn’t see my beloved characters healing and growing… I still have those emotions that these characters and this story gave me
So bear with me, if you want.
So, as I said in my previous posts, I’ve never been a fan of the reset theory (when it was a theory) and I wasn’t fond of it when it became reality. Why?
Because Wakui’s strength, imho, is not the plot (I’ll talk about it later) but is his characters. They feel real, alive, relatable and you get attached to them. “Erasing” them it’s such a shame (again, later I'll write better what I mean with that).
But again, while I’ve never been a fan of the reset, I understood that, if handled better, could have been satisfactory. If what happens in ch.278 had been the ending, but in the meanwhile we’d had a whole damn arc that explained us how we arrived there, and who these characters from the new timeline were, I’d probably have been more satisfied.
Because yes, everyone is alive and got their happy ending, but these people, except Mikey Takemichi and Chifuyu, are strangers to me (also, why does Chifuyu remembers? because he’s the second most popular in Japan so the editors knew they couldn’t fuck him up too much? it’s so random lol. Yes, his narration was emotional and all, I'm glad he’s still Takemichi’s partner since he remembers but it makes no sense lol).
I know that, if we assume TR is not a multiverse and all the previous timelines have been erased, these are “genetically” the same people that now had the chance to live a better life and we’ve seen the potential of these people, but I don’t know who they are. What are their struggles, dreams, insecurities, little quirks and habits?
I grew fond of these characters because they were the underdogs, they failed, but kept fighting. I was rooting for them because we’ve seen they still had a heart and tried their best to go on. I knew them, I cared about them and, as I said before, I was ready for a more mature massage, something along the line of, “life is not fair, but it’s worth living it, you’re allowed to fail, grieve and moving on” but the overall message was more like “never give up”. That it’s okay for a shonen, but again, it’s the execution that was lacking.
I never wanted a reset because, while I was sad for the death of many characters, I had accepted it, because life is not fair nor perfect, and you have to learn to go on even if not everything went as you would have wanted. I’d prefer to see the characters that survived learning to live with their past and improve, like Kazutora did in the previous timelines.
Again, while this is how I would have probably handled the story, this is not my story and if Wakui wanted a reset, of course he could do it, but like this it felt empty. Because why should I care about people I don’t know and that apparently have perfect and happy lives? Maybe they have their demons, but I don’t know them, these characters are strangers.
It’s like walking in the street, seeing someone that is getting married and you think “Good for them”. You know it is a happy day for those strangers, but you’re not invested. Again, see before, I know maybe it’s not technically the case, but it could have been handled better.
Some people are happy because they can imagine whatever they want, and I mean, good for them, but I don’t want these characters to be my OCs, when I read/watch a story, I want to know the characters, and later, when I have a solid foundation, it is fun to imagine thighs.(I will still make HCs since it’s really the only thing we have left, but still, I’d had preferred to have something canon behind it, you know?)
And I know that the argumentation of people that are super happy with the ending is “you guys are cruel/weird, you want them to suffer!”
Not necessarily? But I mean, I just like some good angst and angst with a happy ending?
It’s just the suffering was what the manga was about: suffering, trying to heal and moving on. I wanted my characters to be happy of course, but in a more organic and better written way. Again, reset could have worked if I had time to grow fond of these people again.
But this is for me, everyone is free to enjoy fiction how they prefer, I mean we’re not talking about the greatest systems.
Until this moment I tried to let many things slide, story-wise, thinking that maybe we would have got an explanation later, but now that is over, we have to call things by their names: plot holes.
With all due respect for Wakui, he honestly never did anything revolutionary on the storytelling side. He didn’t invent time travel and he’s not the first that talks about Bōsōzoku and Japanese young criminals. But that’s okay, tropes are not bad per se, you can write what other people have already done, the important thing is that you leave your mark. And while understanding Wakui the writer and Wakui the employee of a big company that must respect some company policies, I knew immediately that I couldn’t expect anything revolutionary from his writing. But I love the story for its characters, and no one will take that away from me.
Now back to the plot holes:
the first one I can remember is in the Valhalla arc: Baji not realizing he and Tora were stealing from Shin’s shop.
“But it was the consequence of dark impulses (DI)!!!” people could say.
Maybe? But it seems that everything in this story is the DI’s fault lol.
I can understand events involving Shin and Mikey, but the fire at the Inupi’s house? Kazutora’s abusive father and his terrible life at home? Mama Shiba’s illness and death? South? I could go on. For what we know, it seems everything bad in this world, from me getting a paper cut to climate change, was the DI’s fault and that Takemichi and Mikey fixed everything. They could have saved princess Diana as well in this TL lol (sorry I just saw a gifset from the new season of The Crown).
While the Black Dragon and Tenjiku arc are probably the best and most loved arcs, we have problems there as well.
Izana: he’s not the problem, it’s how he was introduced in the story. We know Emma talked about Izana, Mikey forgot (... like, really Wakui/editors?) and Shin, that had no legal right over Izana somehow found him but never explained how?
The twin motors that Shin found in Manila? Why was he there? Never explained, I guess Manila is just a cool and “exotic” location for Japanese people.
Sanzu: if he was so important, since he’s literally Shin’s trigger and Shin inadvertently started all this mess, why was he introduced properly so late in the story? It doesn’t make sense he’s not a Toman founder. We can “justify” everything with the dark impulses, but it is a weak as hell justification and it is not even addressed by the author.
I personally don’t care about South and I think his mini arc was useless, but his entire character was a waste of time. It ended nowhere.
Even the original Black Dragons! Sure, Takeomi and Waka are, in some chapters, the “Mr. Exposition” to let us readers know some things, but Waka, that apparently knew about time travels, did nothing but explain the situation??
Why did Waka and Benkei join Mikey only recently if Waka already knew about DI? (it’s funny cause even Inupi, my beloved, in-universe, asked them wtf they were doing in KMG and they never answered him lol).
I understand the “show, don’t tell”m but this is too extreme. This is not planning a single thing. We has so many chapters in this last arc that added absolutely nothing to the story and later others that explained too much in too little time (and it’s not a criticism against an arc after Bonten, I stand by my opinion that Bonten couldn’t be the last arc because it felt incomplete, I’m saying that the last part wasn’t handled well). So many characters and sub plot are introduced and never explained, from South to Mikey’s parents, even Senju and the original Black Dragon. I loved seeing them on screen but what was their point lol? There’s so much potential lore/drama and nothing was said
Another thing I let slide until now is the management of the “magic system”.
Wakui, for the great part of his manga never explained how time leaping works, except at the beginning when Naoto gave us the basic rules that we kept with us for the majority of the time. And that was okay, I didn’t need to have a book with rules like in Death Note for example, it was just a narrative expedient. What happens to the “actual present” characters when the “spirit” of the time leaper comes back to their timeline (basically, for example, does 15 y/o Takemichi remembers what 26 y/o Takemichi did with his body when his soul/spirit whatever traveled to the past? What happens to the actual person while the time leaper takes the wheel? Never cared to explain. Again, I understand they are narratives expedients but again, it should have been handled better.)
Since Wakui never cared to explain to us the rules of time leaping, I feared a reset because nowhere it was explained that you couldn’t leap “twice” like Takemichi and Mikey did in ch.277. It doesn’t really contradict anything (and that’s why I feared it), but it’s too easy like this since, once again, after the reset we didn’t have time to see how we arrived at the happy ending and to know these characters.
It’s a happy ending, and I actually felt kind of happy while reading it, I can’t deny it, but it’s also empty. I love the “get your happy ending” trope precisely because I saw my characters struggling to arrive at their deserved happy ending, I struggled with them, I rooted for them, I suffered with them and in the end we got our prize, the happy ending.
But, since these moments were skipped, it doesn’t have the same emotional impact.
It has an impact, won’t deny it, but maybe because I know it’s over, and overall, this manga gave me a lot and I grew fond of it, regardless its flaws
I already explained how rushed everything was and how so cliché, “shonen” and “Disney” this finale is here and how weird it is that Takemichi and Mikey are so much older then everyone else right now here. (imho, it’s basically another curse to be adult and living in children’s body)
I’m not saying that people from different generations cannot be friends, but still, how can you be surrounded by 7-8 y/o kids and treating them as friends when you are a young adult and you could be their babysitter, big brother, young uncle? Also, I want to believe in this TL Takemichi met Hina when she was in college or something since he’s mentally 20 years older than her, holy shit. I know the narration doesn’t question their relationship in the slightest and Takemichi is a good man, but still this is weird. (Again, I talk as a mutishipper here, so I’m not trying to invalidate any ship).
As I feared, I’m asking too many questions that clearly will never be addressed because otherwise you realize nothing makes sense lol.
So many things could have been handled better, but a mix of being a shonen with the main target of teenagers (I agree so much with this post, that if TR were a seinen we probably could have seen so much more but probably wouldn't have been so popular) and rushed ending for whatever reason didn’t allowed it.
I guess that in order to actually enjoy TR in its entirety, you have to switch off your brain and just feel it lol.
Now, I don’t want to say this is all Wakui’s fault. Again, I still love the characters I had the chance to know before the rushed ending and the previous arcs and I’m aware that probably something behind the scenes happened.
The manga industry is ruthless, mangakas work in terrible conditions and, unfortunately, it’s not unusual for them to have health problems due to the terrible rhythms and the environment.
Beside that, the author is not always free to do what they want with their story, there are the editors, the publishing company that of course can and will tell the authors what is better for the company and, ultimately, the publisher only thinks about the money.
We don’t know the contract Wakui has with Kodansha (public company of Tokyo Revengers), we don’t know Wakui’s actual conditions, we don’t know and will never know what really happened to have such a rushed, poorly handled and written ending.
So I’m not saying that people that 100% enjoyed this are wrong, by all means, good for them, once again, we’re not talking about the greatest system, for us readers this is just a manga and if you’re happy like this, good for you. But since this is a story that, emotionally, gave me a lot, I would have preferred to see it handled better, especially from a purely writing point of view.
What I know is that this story made me feel alive, made me feel in general, and I’m still grateful for those feelings. The whole, you know “Don't cry because it's ending, smile because it happened” kind of thing. So, be nice with each other, regardless, and remember that behind a story there’s an author and many other people, and we don’t know the actual dynamics of everything.
So yeah, it’s over but not really because people at Kodansha like money (I guess Wakui like it too lol, I mean who doesn’t?) so now we’ll get other collateral things, so I guess we’ll hear about TR for a while. And of course the second season of the anime will start soon. I don’t know if TR will get an “expanded universe” like many franchises do recently or if it will slowly die. We will see in time I guess, but in the meanwhile, I think we’ll still get some content, in a way or another.
#tokyo revengers#hanagaki takemichi#manjiro sano#matsuno chifuyu#tachibana hinata#tokyorev meta#zae talks about tr#tokyorev spoilers#zaenaris#tokyorev ending
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to rid of my fear of being alive and my gratitude toward death
my craving of cigarette the psychiatrists jokes and nags and oh the pills they prescribe
the never ending disdain toward the person I am, the disposition and epitome of my demise… I’m transgender and I hate every second of it. yeah that’s right, I said it. I’m not supposed to say that but it’s honest, I’ll act proud and however I should. but the vignette it puts on my vision…
being transgender is like being naked all the time, vulnerable yet it’s why I act so tough and stay so quiet. what it really all is is insecurity, the feeling of insufficiency. it’s a pathetic display, it’s me, but in being so naked I have to put all these layers on to stay protected. it’s also being afraid. all of the time. more layers to keep me safe. to not get hurt, to avoid bruises and all the sort. when I take a layer off it’s the best but it just hurts to much, so I always go back. I’m working on it. It’s like wanting to be yourself, but knowing you can’t, like being physically held back and the mental toll, woof. to be more intimate, examples could be the shirt I wear, needs to be darker in color, hugs the collar, and if not then undershirt or something else. An intricate process, that leaves me little in my wardrobe to choose from. To take layers off is the confidence to have the binder exposed or visible, or to wear no shirt but then it all to feel so wrong because of my biology. Immense pain, frustration, and hatred, put the layers back on. All these small details, they make interactions with others nerve wracking and intimacy absolutely terrifying and so conflicting. It’s the idea, the awareness and knowledge, that I am not being perceived the way I want/need to be. in the end, I just have to be fine with it all, I was born this way and there is nothing I can do about. enjoy my female body as I know so well I am a man. My grandma’s voice torments me, over half my family makes me feel like I’m going to explode and sadly makes me very avoidant (a layer). I no longer cry or panic, I only hate and it runs so extremely deep I wouldn’t even know where to start. and I just push it all away and try to be an idealistic version or the man I’m supposed to be, despite societies ties to gender normativity and dependence on stigma and stereotypes (or simply anti-acceptance of what’s not popularly ‘accepted’). In a way I am one big symbol of rebellion just by being alive. I say this all with high expectations, I deserve to be treated and regarded with respect and dignity. Even when I am, I feel and I know I’m still not treated equal. It’s hard to fully understand unless the experience is first hand, I won’t explain only because my lens has been shrouded by nastiness and hatred served by the not so gentle caress of growing up in modern western culture, narrowed down the bible belt. I gave in and now the roots grow all throughout, being transgender is the worst and the hardest thing I’ll ever do. and my time here on this earth grows shorter each day, I’ll be here awhile. I consistently am disgusted by these thoughts, like I’d be a bad representation of the trans experience, I know so well that this pressure should be learned to be tolerated. I know so well that my genitalia doesn’t label me, I know so well that I am not what the world says I am. I know so well that I feel like a freak, enigma, fucked up, and disappointing only because I let others, my family, the world, and most importantly myself think, believe, and live it. I used to like being a ‘freak’ or ‘offputting’. I know so well I like being secure in not making sense to others. I’m not sure why I’ve caved in as I grew older. why would I want to be normal or socially acceptable in the first place? do I think it’ll make me more likable, more attractive, wanted around? (1/2)
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The one thing I’m gonna say about Book 5
Warning: EXTREME Rook slander from a soon-to-be former Rook simp.
I’ve mentioned before that the story of Book 5 have brought back a lot of traumatic memories from my EGL days but somehow I managed to push through and I have many of my twst moots to thank for that. I’m not even that upset about the NRC tribe loosing in the end because that’s honestly how it goes IRL anyway, but what Rook did...I can’t...I just can’t.
And once again this is where Disney’s control over Neige’s design and song work against them. Because they weren’t allowed to have a more dynamic performance, their victory over NRC seems even more ridiculous and really there should have just been a tie. And it makes Rook’s actions seem somewhat idiiotic. But I’m not even upset about that either. THIS is what I cannot forgive:
SHUT YOUR BITCHASS UP
I’m sick of this way of thinking as someone who has dealt with extreme levels of self hatred, gender dysphoria, and insecurity for most of my adult life. No, maybe validation won’t always help you feel better but having the world constantly tell you you’re not good enough won’t help either! Self love may come from inside but it’s really not fair to say they can’t be worthy of love simply because they cannot love themselves. EVEN PEOPLE WHO HATE THEMSELVES DESERVE TO HAVE PPL LOVE THEM!
And sometimes, someone NEEDS validation, someone NEEDS to be told they’re beautiful, NEED to be told they’re doing a good job. And in this case, even if what Vil tried to do was wrong, at this moment, he NEEDED that validation after everything he’s been through. And you took it from him and then had the audacity to make a mockery of his insecurities by openly fawning over his rival right the fuck in front of him! READ THE ROOM YOU FUCKING SUS AS FUCK FRENCH FUCK!!!
To say nothing about the other NRC Tribe members who worked their asses off to be where they are now. Deuce who discovered his UM and used it to help bring Vil back to his senses, Epel who is learning to no longer attach strength to gender and is genuinely trying to utilize what Vil has been trying to teach him. What about all the work they put into this?
I admit, Rook wasn’t always a favorite of mine and some of the things he’s done in the past did set off red flags for me (like him commenting on Vil’s weight in his labwear story, like WHO DOES THAT?!) But he grew on me over time. Now I just feel angry, angry, hurt and empty. And I’ll also admit, I probably wouldn't be this heated if it weren’t for some very specific experiences I’ve had in my life which is why I connected so deeply to Vil all throughout Book 5.
I thought he was better than this, NRC’s defeat could have been handled any other way but Rook has single handedly brought back a lot of bad memories for me and all of this coming from what was a comfort character for months. Book 5 has officially killed my love for Rook and right now, I’m not sure if it will ever recover from this.
One thing is certain though, ROOK JUST LOST HIS DANICA PRIVILEAGES!!!
#i am not okay#and i don't know when i will be okay#GODDAMNIT WHY AM I CRYING AGAIN I NEED TO GET A GRIP#SHUT UP JAS#jas reads twst#rook hunt#vil schoenheit
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it's wild to me how kc fans expect klaroline to prioritize a past brief relarionship/flirtation over their separate children/families which are clearly a priority to them. i love their interactions in the originals (because i ship them obvs) but it was fantastic and realistic and right how they didn't just run off into the sunset together completely reckless like fandom seemed to expect them to. (also i always disliked the fact that people will hate hope and caroline's twins for simply existing as if every single character should be expendable to serve the kc agenda lol).
and can we just talk about the fact that tyler had to leave caroline - he had to, for his own sanity (which kc fans berated him for because pursuing vengeance for your dead mother is somehow a terrible thing to do i guess?), which is what made the forwood breakup so great and in character even if it hurt like hell as a shipper. caroline made peace with klaus's arrival into mf, all that happened afterwards, whatever weird friendship dynamic they had (enough to invite him to MF which was great for me because i like him even though it was also weird that klaus and stefan would have more of a desire to go to high school graduation than tyler, a literal eighteen year old boy who has his whole life ahead of him, and rebekah, who never got to experience graduation ONCE as opposed to stefan's pathetic ass who attended graduation needlessly like. 17 times), and even grew to accept and like him to some extent, but tyler on the other hand was thoroughly ruined by klaus, and he can't just accept and move on the way caroline did after he was victimized. it was important to him to reclaim agency and get real closure, for klaus to have comeuppance, and i love that for his character!
but also people act like he just heartlessly left caroline without a goodbye when that is clearly not true. it deeply hurt him to have to leave her behind which was why he paused when she asked him not to leave!!!!!!! he wanted to give her a magical college dance and spend time together and reinforce their bond but this is clearly a priority for him. he needs to live his life without 'permission' from klaus, his tormenter and oppressor, and people tend to villify him for this. from caroline's perspective it also makes sense that she feels abandoned and hurt because a lot of her insecurities come from being 'left.' and this is a recurring pattern for forwood which is what adds to their angst and tragedy - tyler keeps having to leave her (s2, s3, and now in s5), but he always comes back, and he leaves for both their benefit/to preserve their relationship.
Yes like if I never watched tvd and didn’t know the actual context, I'd think that Tyler left left without a word and caroline just fucked some random guy and that that's what he was mad about. I mean it still baffles me to this day that he gets shat on for choosing his MOTHER and FREEDOM over care. I mean don't get me wrong, I felt bad for her and my heart broke for her, but Tyler was not in the wrong for wanting his abuser to pay. I mean he killed him, forced him to be a hybrid, made him do things he didn't want to do, killed his MOTHER (his only family he had left), killed his pack, and ran him out of town and he's just supposed to be okay with that because he chose not to be petty for a day. As Caroline would say: "seriously". Honestly you can feel bad for care without shitting on Tyler. Tbh what I find interesting about the forwood conflicts is that I can see both sides and understand them (expect for 2 of their conflict but that's a whole other story). And I also hate when kc'ers bring up that "he's always leaving her" because that's not true and they don't even look at context. The first time, they weren't exactly on the best of terms and he was just respecting her space, the second time he left to break the sirebond, the third time he didn't even have a choice. Like Klaus FORCED him out of town for shits and giggles. And the last time he left to AVENGE HIS MOTHER. Like honestly Ty can't catch a break from parts of the fandumb.
#fcrbescaroline#answered#tyler deserved better#forwood deserved sm better#anti klaus#anti klaroline stans#anna ❤️🔥
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