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#and it all comes back to this point that women deserve it and it should happen and it’s right that it happens
figofswords · 1 year
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the op of the Hannah Gluckstein post is a terf :pensive: shes red on shinigami eyes + has some real sketchy stuff on her blog. obv no judgment, just letting you know in case you wanted to block her. love ur art <3 <3
eurgh thanks for letting me know :/// I’m not gonna delete the reblog bc hannah gluckstein as a jewish butch artist is still something that speaks to me personally and I had never heard of her before but I will be blocking the op. fucking astounding that these people will understand gender-nonconformity of lesbianism and then turn around and fail to expand it beyond the end of their nose. goddamn.
#(ok sorry went on a rant in the tags so if you don’t want to read me losing my shit over transmisogyny here is your warning)#as an afab gnc lesbian myself I feel far far far more kinship to trans women than I ever felt to most cishet women and CERTAINLY to terfs#like. not to go off on a whole rant but it is genuinely so baffling to me#how can you read gender and sexuality studies and examine gender as the construct that it is and then come to the conclusion#that gender essentialism is the way to go?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.#when I took gender studies it was so fucking clear to me that like. it’s all bullshit. there is no binary gender there is no binary sex#none of it is real. society wants it to be real SO BADLY that doctors perform genital surgery on intersex infants to assign them sex/gender#trans women were and are and always will be SO SO SO SO SO key to queer liberation and the queer rights movement#and they are The Most Fucking Vulnerable Group!!!! they deserve more goddamn respect and protection!#going back DECADES they’ve been shut out of gay/lesbian rights groups#it’s like. transfemmes and fem leaning gay men are met with such aggressive hatred#in ways more extreme than say a woman cutting her hair short ever is#bc society views feminity as something weak and shameful#which! fucking proves a lot of the points terfs THINK they’re trying to say which SHOULD expand to#‘oh hey maybe our rhetoric was seeded as a way to cause a rift in what SHOULD be rhe ubited front of intersectional feminism’#‘and therefore we should work together and for and with trans women’#but no they’re too blind to realize that their shit MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!! AAAAAA#anyways. fuck. sorry to go off I just scrolled through ops page to confirm and got Real Fucking Mad godfuckingdsmnit#I need to install shinigami eyes I just keep forgetting#thanks for telling me tho anon. ugh.#asks#anonanonanonanah
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perlelune · 3 months
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NDA | Coriolanus Snow
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When you get hired as a nanny for President Snow and his wife's firstborn, you’re beyond thrilled and grateful. But quickly, the perfect facade melts, revealing the ugly truth of what actually goes on in the Snows' house.
Warnings: NON-CON, Capitol! Reader, Innocent Reader, Cheating, Coercion, Blackmail, Power Imbalance
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
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Your worried eyes track the frenzied glide of the woman’s quill over the notepad. You squint, hoping to discern some of the words she’s scrawling that way, but they are indiscernible…just like the stone-cold expression of the bespectacled woman on the other side of the desk.
She catches you trying to peek. Your heart jumps.
As her sharp green gaze zeroes in on you, you clear your throat and shift in your seat.
She puts her quill down and twines her fingers.
“So what do you think sets you apart  from the other applicants?”
You chew on your lip. When you arrived to offer your candidature this morning, you naively believed you’d be early. Instead, you were forced to join the tail end of the massive waiting line stretching far outside the Snows’ estate. It didn’t hit you before that moment, how prized the position is. Each of the women and girls you saw radiated excellent breeding and impeccable manners. Many probably attended the University and could double as a tutor if the need presents itself.
This isn’t your case. Your parents left you and your brother Laertes with nothing when they suddenly passed away in a rebel bombing. You couldn’t blame them. This wasn't the plan. Who plans on dying and leaving their two children to fend for themselves?
Still, you now have a list of bills the length of your arm coupled with a massive mortgage to pay every month. And as Laertes’ sole caretaker, you must ensure you can afford to send him to University once he completes his education in the Academy.
Circumstances denied you that chance. Despite being of university’s age, you couldn’t afford the cost of tuition and had to drop out as soon as you got accepted. You want better for your little brother.
So as soon as you heard the news that President Snow and First Lady Livia Cardew were in search of a nanny for their son Martius, you jumped on the opportunity to apply. You rose before the sun, rummaged through your mother’s closet to find her best dress, and hailed a car to come here.
It’s a long shot, of course. You’re not as polished and impressive as some of the other women. You’re also noticeably younger. But the wages promised alone compelled you to take a chance despite the odds being unfavorable.
Fiddling with your hands, you meet the woman’s impassive stare head-on.
“What sets me apart?” You mull over your answer. You could paint a false, august portrait of yourself, your skills and your accomplishments. Or try to at least.
But what would be the point of pretending to be someone you’re not only to be found out later on? So you elect to tread the path of honesty.
“Nothing,” you say. “But I’m a hard worker. A very hard worker. In fact, I already have three jobs, one at a bakery, another as a clerk in an antique shop and I assist Fabricia Whatnot at her boutique sometimes.” Panic quivers inside you as the woman quickly jots something down on her notepad. You swiftly specify, “...But I’ll quit all of them if I get the position, of course.” You lick your lips as knots tie your stomach. “I can learn everything there is to learn on the spot. I love children, and…” You trail off, gaze traveling to your lap as you muse if you should reveal more. Your fists clench as you add, “I have a little brother who’s a few years older than Martius, and I’m really hoping I get this opportunity so I can give him the life he deserves.”
An unnerving quiet occupies the air. The wait is agony, your nails digging painfully into your palms. The jagged drumming of your heart bleeds inside your ears as she studies you.
Eventually, she leans back in the velvet chair, her face betraying no thought or emotion.
“You’re dismissed,” she says.
Your heart plummets to your feet. You shakily rise, dispirited as you drag your heels towards the door. You steal a glance above your shoulder. The woman’s attention has already drifted away from you as she shouts for the next applicant.
You sourly exit the office. You try to swallow your dejection as you note how many women are still waiting in line, each of them likely more qualified and experienced. It’s obvious you tanked the interview. Shoulders slumping, you take resigned steps through the elegant, palatial hallways of the Snow’s mansion. You get lost in admiring the crystal and gold chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings. There isn’t an inch of the house that doesn’t scream excessive, unattainable wealth.
You take your time soaking it in. Chances are you’ll never step foot in such a place in your lifetime ever again.
Distracted, you don’t notice the person in front of you before it’s too late. You bump straight into a hard, inflexible body. 
The sudden collision threatens your balance.
Fingers coil around your wrists as you stagger back, preventing your impending collapse onto the marbled floor.
As your attention drifts skywards, your jaw drops at who fills your vision.
“P-President Snow, my deepest apologies, s-sir,” you stammer, flames licking your cheeks.
As if you didn’t make yourself look dimwitted enough before, you now carelessly crashed into the leader of all of Panem. Just when you thought the day couldn’t possibly get worse.
You take him in. It truly is him. Shock fills you. 
 Tall and dazzling in a crisp white shirt and crimson vest that hints at his lean physique beneath the clothes, his signature blond waves slicked away from his face, he looks every bit the important figure that he is.
The flickering TV screen you own at home doesn’t do him justice.
A gentle smirk unfurls on his lips.
“It’s quite alright. I’m not made of sugar,” he jests.
“No…you’re not, your highness…majesty...I mean sir.”
Your blunder expands his smile. His cerulean gaze drags over your frame.
“Are you here for the nursemaid position?”
“I am, sir.” You unleash a deep exhale, his inquiry tossing salt on the fresh wound. The interviewer clearly wasn’t impressed by your less than stellar performance. Maybe you should have tried to mimic the way the girls with whom you attended the Academy behave more. They carry themselves with such confidence, wading through the world with the certainty of their destinies being secure, bereft of hardships unlike district dwellers.
You envy how carefree they get to be. Everyday you wake up worried you’ll come up short on a bill and you and Laertes will be forced to leave your family home. No matter how diligent you are at work, there never seems to be enough money to sustain the two of you. Even with three jobs, you’re barely eking out a decent living for you and your little brother. Many times, you’ve gone to bed hungry just so Laertes would not.
You don’t even realize tears have filled your eyes to the brim until a handkerchief is daintily pressed into your cheeks.
Flabbergasted, you blink up at President Snow. 
“Thank you,” you exhale, stunned by his kind gesture.
“What’s the matter?” he asks.
You search his eyes. Genuine interest lights up his pellucid blue orbs.
Without much thought, you confess, “I just don’t think I did very well with my interview.”
As he scrutinizes you in silence, cocking his head sideways, embarrassment rushes through you.
Words anxiously leave your lips in a tremulous string.
“God, I’m so sorry, spilling my problems to you as if you’re not an extremely busy man, sir.”
He shakes his head. “It’s quite alright. And do not count yourself defeated, sweetheart.” Your pulse stutters when he bends over you to whisper, “You may have left a stronger impression than you think.”
He nudges the pocket square between your hands. It’s still damp with your tears. You gape at it in awe. President Snow’s initials are elegantly etched in the left corner of the fabric.
“Here. Keep it. Though I’d much prefer it if you didn’t cry.” He pauses, studying you. “Girls as lovely as you never should.”
His words send your heart into a frenzy. For a while, you’re too stunned to move. You then shake yourself back to reality, noticing you’re now staring at the empty space where he used to stand. He’s gone. You look ahead. He’s already miles away from you, wrapped in conversation with who seems to be an assistant of his. 
Your thumbs press against the soft fabric of the pocket square. Cheeks ablaze, you hold it to your nose. It smells like roses, the same delicate scent that wafted from him a few minutes ago. Your back prickles. You pivot and are astonished to find the envious glares of some of the applicants still waiting in line zeroed in on you. Self-conscious, you rush to continue your exit, fleeing away from the hateful stares. 
As the outside gates come into sight, you can’t suppress an elated smile. It’s not everyday someone meets President Snow and receives such a gift from him. Shoving the handkerchief in your pocket, you vow to place it somewhere safe and always cherish it. 
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When you return home, your brother’s already sitting in the living room, his tiny brows scrunched in concentration and his nose buried in his books. Your stomach sinks. Everything you did today was for him. You can’t help but feel you missed out on a huge opportunity, one that’d have changed the course of his life forever. You glance around at the apartment. The walls are crumbling. The wooden floors are creaking. The pipes in the kitchen have been leaking for weeks, a measly bucket you must empty every morning the only thing preventing a flood. And at night, the pitter-patter of rodents’ paws resonates from the ceiling.
Every inch of your family home is in dire need of repairs.
Unfortunately, every penny you earn goes into rent and food, meaning the house falls apart a bit more everyday. Perhaps one day, you and Laertes will awake beneath the rubble of what’s left of your childhood home. Nightmares of that sometimes keep you up at night.
“How was the Academy today?” you chime, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. Worry twists your chest. There isn’t much left. You’ll need to make do with cabbage and whatever other veggies are left. Perhaps you could toss in some leftover dried meat and make a stew.
“My teacher signed me up for advanced trigonometry,” your brother announces.
You close the cabinet and beam at him.
“Oh, that sounds hard. I’m proud of you.” It doesn’t exactly surprise you. Laertes’ always been exceptionally smart. Even his teachers noticed how gifted he is from an early age. Unlike you, he breezed through middle school and now the Academy.
It’s why it’s crucial you make sure he can go to the University. A mind like his shouldn’t be wasted.
You brother shrugs, exuding nonchalance.
“It’s fine.”
You rush to him. You wrap your arm around him playfully and hug him in his chair, pulling his cheek like when he was little. You know he hates when you do that but you can’t help teasing him a bit. It’s your duty as a big sister after all.
“Don’t downplay it. My little brother’s a genius.”
He wriggles his way out of the hug, rolling his eyes. 
“Stop it.”
You head back to the kitchen and fire the stove.
“I’ll make you something,” you say, smiling at your brother.
His brows knit. “Make something for yourself first.”
You nibble your bottom lip. You truly hoped he wouldn’t notice, how much smaller than his your portions are. But he’s growing; he needs it. Much more than you. Besides, how can he focus at the Academy and be the brilliant boy he is supposed to be with a growling stomach? You won’t allow it.
“Laertes…”
He shakes his head, his expression firm.
“No. You always do this. This time, we split whatever is left.”
Heaving out a resigned exhale, you nod. You whirl to resume preparing dinner.
You gather a boiling pot from the overhead cabinet and place it on the stove. With the ease of practice, you begin chopping vegetables and tossing them into the pot. You add spices and water. The mouthwatering aroma quickly fills the kitchen. Pride swells in your chest. Your cooking skills have improved so much in the last year since your parents passed. You now manage to bring flavor to the blandest of meals. 
Once the stew’s ready, you pour a portion in each bowl, putting just a little more in your brother’s and praying he will not notice.
You place the steaming bowls on the table and take a seat opposite him.
“No books at the dining table,” you admonish, mimicking the exact tone your mother used with your brother. Admitting defeat, Laertes sighs and sets his homework aside. The tiny victory tugs your lips skyward.
He tells you about his day at the Academy while the two of you eat. You’re delighted to hear he’s making a lot of friends and he’s at the top of his class for most science subjects. He’s struggling a bit more with his poetry and ethics classes, but you encourage him by reminding him he can just ask the teacher for extra assignments to keep his grade up.
“I interviewed for a new job today,” you reveal, stirring the spoon in your bowl while waiting for your brother to eat more of his food.
“How did it go?”
“Well, it pays really well so I’m hopeful.”
The hope dancing in his eyes makes your chest ache. You don’t have the heart to tell him you made a fool of yourself today. You may not be gifted like your brother, but you want him to know he can rely on you at least.
Pursing his mouth, he looks down at his stew.
“That’s great. It’d be good if you didn’t have to work as much.”
Your smile falters. “Don’t worry. I have everything under control.”
“Okay.”
His dour tone stirs your concern. You wish you were better at hiding things from him, making his childhood as normal as possible. But your brother’s twelve now, and that’s old enough to sense when things are wrong.
He rises from his seat. You frown as you note there’s still food left in his bowl.
“Finish your plate before going to your room.”
Annoyance pinches his features but he still picks up his bowl and hastily guzzles down the remainder of his stew.
“Happy now?” he says, wiping his mouth.
“Yes. Very,” you cheerfully respond.
He gathers his books and strides towards his room. 
Your voice rises.
“Don’t stay up too late to study, okay? I love you.”
“I…love you too,” he mumbles.
You bask in the moment as you clean the table. Thankfully Laertes is still at an age where he says it back. One day he might not. So you must cherish every instant. Every conversation, every hug, every ‘I love you’. Because it could all vanish in a second. You learned that the hard way a year ago.
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The day of the interview recedes to the back of your mind as you keep living your life. Work is harrowing, as usual, but you tend to your tasks as best as you can. Your arms ache as you knead the dough in the back of the bakery. You give yourself a second to wipe the sweat off your forehead. It’s been a hectic afternoon. There’s a massive pastry order for some Capitol heiress’ birthday due tomorrow. So you’ve been racing between the front desk and the kitchen in the back. A baker called in sick today, leaving you with twice the workload.
You know it won’t take much to crash into your bed and fall asleep tonight.
To make matters worse, the day hits its nadir when you get your pay that day. You peer inside the envelope for the umpteenth time. An anxious chuckle peals out of your lips. 
“I’m sorry I don’t want to complain, but…this doesn’t match the hours I put in.”
The owner scratches the back of his neck, a contrite expression etched on his face.
“I’m sorry too. With the new taxes imposed by the Capitol, I had to cut your salary.”
Slack-jawed by the news, no word leaves your mouth as you stare at him. He sighs.
“If it’s a problem, we can find someone else-”
“No, no,” you interrupt, blinking in panic. “Please, I need this job.”
He acquiesces and you’re forced to thank him despite feeling cheated. You actually scaled back your hours for your other part-times since this one paid more. What a waste. 
Dispirited, you return home. As you give the driver a bill for the fare, your insides wrench. Every bill counts. Perhaps you’ll need to walk back home from now on. The streets of the Capitol are notoriously dangerous but you can’t see any other way to save your dwindling wages. You already know you’ll need to request an extension for rent this month. How will you pay it, however?
You suppose you’ll have to figure it out. You always figure it out.
These are the somber thoughts swaying in your mind as you check the mailbox. 
Bills. Bills. And more bills. Your already sour mood plummets even more. But a slim, silver envelope sticking out from the pile corrals your focus. Curiosity surges inside you. It looks fancy and there’s a wax seal with the Capitol’s symbol keeping it shut. You rush to open it, heart fluttering in strange anticipation.
You unfold the neatly folded letter inside. As you read the words, you gasp, dropping the letter. Still trembling from shock and excitement, you bend to pick it up. 
You take a deep slow breath before reading it again. 
This time, a squeal escapes from your lips. 
You read it many more times to make sure your eyes aren’t just conjuring wild fantasies. 
After a while, you realize they aren’t. It’s true. 
Holding the letter to your chest, you toss yourself on your bed and kick your feet excitedly. 
You then place your palm on your forehead. In disbelief, you beam at the ceiling. 
Somehow…you’ve been hired to work for the Snows. You actually got the job. 
Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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You fidget before the iron gates, smoothing absent wrinkles on your skirt. It’s one of the best outfits you could find on short notice that wasn’t moth-eaten or visibly overworn. You pray it’s enough. You let your gaze wander. The Snows’ estate truly is majestic. The lush gardens. The beautiful architecture. You feel a little small as you admire the mansion.
Remembering yourself, you pivot to the man who drove you there. You fish inside your pocket for a bill and hand it to him. He stares at you blankly from the driver’s seat.
A weary sigh ripples behind you.
You turn, your eyes widening. It’s the woman who interviewed you that day. She wears the same stern expression.
“You don’t need to pay him,” she explains, dismissing the man with her hand. He nods and drives away. “He’s your assigned driver. He’ll pick you up each day and take you back home.”
“Oh.” You offer your hand. “Nice to meet you…again.”
She gives you a lengthy onceover, completely ignoring your gesture. Then she motions at you to follow her. You let your hand fall to your side. Heat blooms in your cheeks. Perhaps, you were too enthusiastic just then. Straightening your spine, you try your best to keep pace with her quick strides.
“I’m Pandora. I supervise most housekeeping duties for the president. I’ll show you around the estate. Then you’ll meet the young Master.”
She gives you a tour of the mansion. You’re even more amazed than last time though you try to suppress your awe and not stare excessively. She shows you the garden as well. The sea of snow-white roses makes your head spin. She specifies that the only part of the house that is off-limits is the west wing of the mansion, as these are the First Lady’s apartments and she must have rest and quiet.
She ends the visit by taking you to the nursery. A smile spontaneously finds its way onto your lips. A toddler plays with his toy train on the floor. With his blonde curls and bright blue eyes, he bears a striking resemblance to his father.
“That’s him? He’s so cute,” you whisper. Even the stern woman’s expression thaws a little as she looks at the child, softening ever-so-slightly. You send her a questioning glance. She gives you a nod of approval. 
You approach the boy and crouch in front of him.
“Hi. You’re Martius, right?”
He lifts his head and beams at you. You’re immediately endeared. Again, his smile reminds you of President Snow. You suppose one could probably take over the world with a smile like that. 
You turn to Pandora.
“Is his mother around? I should probably introduce myself.”
Her face pinches. “Mistress Livia has been unwell as of late. She is not to be disturbed today as she is quite tired.”
“Of course.” Your lips squeeze shut for a few seconds but curiosity gets the better of you. A question burns on your lips, one that nagged you ever since you got the job. It slips out before you can think it through. “Is this…Is this why the president and his wife require a nanny? The First Lady is sick?”
Pandora glowers at you. You flinch as she steps further inside the room, her searing tone like a whip.
“You are here to do your job, and nothing else. Mistress Livia’s health is no concern of yours. Do you hear me?”
You rise on shaky feet. You forgot yourself.
“I-I understand. I’m sorry I asked.”
“This reminds me. You have to sign this,” she says, handing you a pen and clipboard. A thin stack of papers are attached to the clipboard. The front page spells ‘Non-Disclosure Agreement’ in bold letters at the very top. You scowl as you flip through the pages.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a contract, one signed by every one of the President’s employees.”
“I don’t understand most of what’s written here…”
A frustrated exhale peals from her lips.
“I’ll make it simple for you then. For the duration of your employment here, nothing you see or hear must ever leave this house. You are here to care for the young master, that is all. Nothing else should concern you. Is that clear enough?”
You swallow thickly. It doesn’t sound hard at all. Discretion is essential in every job, isn’t it? But the way Pandora makes it sound, you’d assume there are bodies buried beneath the Snows’ estate. You’d laugh if her death stare weren’t so disquieting.
You peruse the contract, perplexed by most of the legal mumbo jumbo filling the pages. None of it rings any bell. You understand the gist of it however. You must preserve the president and his wife’s privacy. While you don’t know the specifics of the first lady’s condition, her public appearances have been few and far between in the last few years.
She used to be the envy of every woman in the Capitol. Beautiful, young and married to the dashing President Snow.
She was a fairytale princess come to life.
Then their son Martius was born. And when they held him up from the balcony of their mansion for all of Panem to gaze upon, they truly seemed like the perfect family.
Until one day, Livia Cardew simply…vanished.
She was noticeably absent from all the events of the season, some she even hosted herself. Tongues wagged of course, rumors and wild theories spreading like wildfire. 
But no one knew the truth of what had happened to her.
The matter seems delicate. You promise yourself not to bring it up again.
You click the pen and scribble your name at the bottom of the very last page.
“I’ve…never signed a contract like that before starting a job.”
Pandora lets out a wry chuckle.
“Well, you’ve never worked for President Snow.”
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As promised, you quit your two other jobs to focus solely on Martius. You’re hesitant at first. Your departed parents taught you never to put all your eggs in one basket. And it’s exactly what you’d be doing by trusting the Snows. But when you receive your first paycheck, long before the end of the week, every qualm you had fades. It’s more money than you’ve ever had, more money than you expected. Rent isn’t an issue anymore. Neither is food.
Besides, gifts keep coming from the estate. Clothes mostly, for both you and Laertes, but also jewelry, perfume and other fancy things you don’t need. Overwhelmed by President Snow’s generosity, you try to send some of it back, but you don’t have the heart to return everything when you see your brother’s happy face when he opens his wardrobe one day.
You’ve caught the self-conscious glimpses he casts at his classmates sometimes, when not wearing the Academy uniform. Their clothes are always brand new and custom, perfectly tailored while his are stitched back together by your clumsy hands whenever they fray at the seams. You’re not a seamstress but you’ve always done your best. But you know your best doesn’t compare to the access and privilege those kids have.
Other than those blessings, your time with Martius has been a breeze. Only hazy memories of your brother as a toddler linger in your mind, but you don’t recall him ever being as sweet and calm as the little boy is.
It hardly feels like work, caring for the small child. You spend the day playing along with his games, reading stories to him and, as the day nears its end, the two of you feed the ducks in the massive pond behind the mansion. He even gives them names and gets upset when they fight with each other. 
“Lily doesn’t like James anymore,” he whispers to you one day, a sullen pout scrunching his tiny features. 
“And why is that?”
“I think she’s angry that he steals her food.”
You chuckle and ruffle his golden locks. The little boy always has a story for everything he sees. At all times, his world must make sense. So if he cannot find a reason to explain what fills his gaze, he’ll weave a tale that matches it. His stories are each more wild than the other and he sometimes utters words you’ve never heard a four year old use.
But you surmise it is expected from the son of the president. When he isn’t with you, the little boy is often with his private tutor. Even at his tender age, the importance of manners and eloquence is impressed upon him.
Martius tugs at your skirt when you make your way to the door. You look down. His blue eyes are pleading. 
“You’re leaving again?”
You heave out a long exhale. The little boy wasn’t so clingy before but with your bond growing, he’s been expressing more sadness from watching you go at the end of every day. 
You hunker down to his level.
“My little brother’s expecting me.”
His forehead puckers. “Stay…”
“I told you before, Martius. I have a brother. He’ll miss me if I’m not here.”
“Okay,” he mumbles, giving a begrudging nod. Tears already swim in his eyes though. Panic flows through you. You didn’t want to upset him. You pick him up and bounce with him in your arms to try to soothe him.
“Oh, no. Don’t cry, sweetie.” He buries his head in the crook of your neck, nearly squeezing you to death when he wraps his arms around your neck. His loud, tearful sobs swell in the room. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow like always, okay? So I need you to be brave for me.” His grip on you loosens as he sniffles. You put him down and the two of you pinky promise that you’ll return. Your heart twists at the sight of his tear-stained little face. 
You give his hair one last affectionate pat before rushing outside. If you stay, he might throw another tantrum. No matter what, you can never get mad at Martius. He’s just a child. In the absence of his mother, he’s bound to grow attached to any woman filling a role adjacent to hers. You loathe that you’re taking those moments from the first lady. Though it pleases you to have a steady job and spend time with the sweet boy, it feels wrong that she isn’t there. She should get to see her baby grow up. She should hear his inane ramblings and eccentric stories.
As time wears on, you’re dying to meet her and tell her about Martius. Is she truly so sick that she can’t even see him for a mere few minutes? You’re itching to break the rules and visit the west wing of the mansion. Sometimes you hear blood-curdling  screams and wailing coming from the dark halls but you never dared venture through them. You know that if you did, Pandora would crucify you.
Laertes’ well-being matters more than your curiosity.
Humming absently, you halt in your tracks in the middle of a hallway. Confusion has you blinking. A peculiar noise bounces faintly against the walls. Your gaze drifts sideways, where the noise seems to come from. You’re clocking out. Whatever’s going on in the house isn’t any of your business at this hour.
But what if someone needs help? What if it’s something bad? You’d feel awful if you learnt something happened the next day and you pretended to ignore it. So you gingerly approach the wall. Your fingers graze the tapestry covering it. 
Your eyes widen when the wall moves, a tiny crack forming in it.
Your eyes bulge. It’s an ajar door, you realize. A secret door one wouldn’t notice if they weren’t aware it was there. Light spills from the slight opening.
Confining your breath, you bend over the crack in the wall to get a glimpse of what’s behind it. 
The vision crowding your sight makes the blood in your veins freeze. 
President Snow rutting into a maid with his pants down to his ankles. His usually neat blonde locks are tousled, a few damp curls kissing his forehead. His massive cock glistens with the girl’s essence, disappearing into the girl’s spread lips over and over again. Her body is bent over the railing of the bed and her maid outfit is bunched around her hips, exposing her ass, the flesh trembling with each of the president’s harsh, pointed thrust.
Each time he snaps his hips he draws a broken moan from her. One of his hands is around the back of her throat while the other’s on the small of her back. He grunts low in his throat as she clenches around him, thrusting into her even faster than before. 
The obscene sound of their coupling rises, coalescing with the feral grunts spilling from the president’s mouth. In that moment, he’s not the poised gentleman you’re used to seeing, he is an animal in rut chasing his high.
A shocked exhale escapes your lips. Your hand flies to cover your mouth. President Snow’s head snaps up, his gaze landing straight on you.
Your heart slams against your ribcage.
You jump back from the door and push the secret door closed. You dart across the hallway, determined to find the exit as quickly as you can. You don’t glance back, your steps hasty and panicked. 
Pandora was right. It’s best not not to hear or see anything, to become a tomb in which secrets are buried.
You can only hope he didn’t recognize you through the tiny crack in the door. 
Though you’re shaken to your core, you continue your work as a nanny. You still need money. You may have set aside everything you made thus far, but it will only sustain you and your brother for a month or two. Besides, you’ve already handed in your resignation for your other jobs.  The positions have likely been filled. You can’t exactly show up out of the blue and ask for your former job back. 
No. So you convince yourself that it’s alright. You have a good thing going anyway. You’re making more than you hoped. The child is happy. You’re happy. All is well. Or it would be at least.
…If you could conjure the memory of President Snow railing into the maid far away from your mind. 
You want to forget it, bury the moment so deep in the abyss of your thoughts, it can never be unearthed.
But it isn’t so easy. Because every time your mind wanders even a little, you see him again. Skin glistening with sweat and blue eyes alight with lust. The image is tattooed into your brain. 
You wonder if the first lady knows. Perhaps it’s why she’s hiding away. The weight of her husband’s indiscretions may have grown too heavy to carry. It sours your heart. President Snow seemed so kind, good and noble. He was nice to you. You still have the breast pocket he gave you tucked away in a drawer. You loathe to think he’d do that to his wife. No woman deserves this.
You lift your head when your name is uttered. You get to your feet. Adrift in your thoughts, you didn’t realize Pandora was in the nursery. 
“Yes?”
“The president wants to see you in his office.”
Dread wrenches your gut. It’s exactly what you feared. Does he know? Did he see you? Your pulse picks up. What other reason would there be? He never summoned you before.
“Really, why?”
“He didn’t say, but I’m assuming it’s to congratulate you.”
Befuddlement wrinkles your forehead. “Congratulate me?”
Pandora heaves out a weary sigh. “Well, you’ve done much better than we thought,” she begrudgingly admits. “The young master smiles all the time.” She rolls her eyes. “Even if we must deal with his tantrums when you leave.”
A sliver of pride flutters through you with her admission. Pandora made her doubts about your capabilities plain and obvious from the beginning. It gladdens you that you may have changed her mind a little. 
“I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine.” She turns to him, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “It’s a small price to pay for his happiness.”
Your smile vanishes as she adds, “Now let me escort you to the president’s office. He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you trail behind her. The entire trek to the president’s office, your stomach’s in knots. You keep wondering if it’s the day you’ll lose your job for being too nosy. You should have walked past the noise. You shouldn’t have peeked. 
You inhale a lungful of nerve as Pandora opens the door to his office and frees room for you to enter. Your clammy hands wrench in your lap. He’s sitting behind his desk. You stagger further inside the room as he motions for you to sit in the chair on the other side of the desk. He looks the same as the first time you stumbled into him, disarmingly handsome in an impeccable shirt and pants that flatter his long legs.
A sharp contrast to the version of him that has plagued your thoughts lately. 
His sky gaze follows you as you take a trembling seat.
“Are you settling in well?” he asks.
“Hm, yes,” you stammer, anxiously twining your fingers. “It’s pretty much the perfect job. I get to be around a cute child all day.”
“I hear my son is very fond of you.”
You bashfully dip your head. “He’s very easy to like. He’s such a good boy, sweet, kind, and curious. You and your wife are raising him well, sir.”
He hums in thought. “I can’t take much credit for that. I’ve tried my best to carve out time for Martius…but work’s kept me busy. As for Livia...” He lets out a humorless chuckle. “Well she isn’t quite herself these days.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
He places one hand under his chin, scrutinizing you. You try not to twitch beneath his stare, your insides tight with dread.
“Hm, it’s strange,” he states after a minute that goes by like an eternity.
Your head rises. “What’s strange?”
“A girl like you.” His lips drag upward. “Sweet, nurturing, beautiful. Shouldn’t you be married already?”
Your lips part in astonishment. This isn’t the line of questioning you expected. “I-I’m not.”
“No fiancé?”
“No, sir.”
“A lover then?”
Warmth rushes to your face.
“No…”
He laughs, mirth dancing in his cobalt orbs.
“You must pardon me for being so forward but I simply find it astonishing. No suitors? It’s hard to believe since you’re so lovely, sweetheart.” He tilts his head. You shift in discomfort, his attention making you feel see-through. “I mean, a husband would have made your life easier than it’s been thus far, wouldn’t he, dove?”
A long exhale flows from your lips. “I’ve had offers, after I graduated from the Academy. There was even this boy, he was so kind to me.” The memory draws a small smile from you. “He proposed. I’m sure he’d make a great husband, but…”
“But…”
Your mouth dries.
“I know it’s probably naive and unrealistic but I want to marry for love, that great, life-changing love, like in those romance novels my mom used to love, not money or status.”
His eyes twinkle. “Or financial stability?”
Shame gathers in your chest. You know it sounds silly when uttered aloud. 
“I know, I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not. It’s sweet that you still believe in love.” He appears lost in a faraway memory, his gaze hazing over with remembrance. “I used to believe in it too. I used to think, ‘Who needs wealth and success and power when love conquers all?’”
He chuckles but it’s bereft of amusement. 
“Really? What happened then?”
His gaze locks with yours. 
“I grew up.”
Confused, you frown. 
“But aren’t you and the first lady in love?”
Another laugh bursts from his chest.
“God, you’re sweet.” His tone lowers to a dulcet whisper. “It’s like none of the world’s ugliness has gotten to you yet.” He reveals matter-of-factly, “My wife and I hate each other.” His smile widens at your flabbergasted expression. “Always did. It’s best that way, more…efficient. Of course, there was a time, when we had…passion.” He licks his lips, something you can’t pinpoint flickering in his gaze. “But not anymore. She’s far too gone for that.”
He rises from his chair. You stiffen as he circles the desk, making slow steps towards you. 
“Which is why I must…satiate my needs wherever I can,” he mumbles, fingers lurking under your chin, forcing your eyes to fall upon him. “Do you understand my meaning, dove?”
“I…yes.”
Discomfort flares within you. Tension hangs in the air, so heavy it clogs your airways. 
He cocks his head, lips slanting crookedly.
“Do you really? With that innocent look in your eyes, it’s hard to tell.” His thumb sweeps over your shuddering bottom lip. “Men have needs. And am I not a man, sweetheart?”
“Y-Yes you are, sir.”
He bends over you to whisper in your ear. “You saw everything that day, didn’t you?” Your heart stops.
Flames lick your face as you bow your head. “I-I didn’t see anything.”
His warm breath ghosts over your earshell.
“Liar,” he mumbles.
Your pulse quickens.
He leans back and nudges your chin upward.
“Since my wife fell sick, I’ve been very lonely. And sometimes…” He looms over you, crowding your space as you peer up at him, fingers squeezing the arms of the chair. “I need something soft and warm to forget that feeling.”
President Snow slowly falls to his knees in front of you. His fingers find your thigh, starting to creep under your skirt. A devilish glint sparkles in his cobalt gaze. He finds your center, pressing the sheer fabric into your folds. You gasp. He chuckles at your reaction. He starts teasing you through your panties, tracing your slit and dragging over your tender bud. Your breath hitches as the air around you grows hotter. You grow slick beneath his finger, your thighs shaking as tingles bloom on your flesh.
“Sir…” you whimper, tears welling up in your eyes.
He pushes further inside you, adding another finger, and you unleash an audible breath. You try to close your thighs. He places his other hand on your knee to keep you open for him.
The air in your lungs grows thinner as he rubs your core through your soaked panties. The friction is a delicious torture. Pleasure pools in your belly causing your face to burn with shame. You’re getting embarrassingly wet with President Snow’s attention.
“I just want a little taste,” he murmurs, his deep timbre bleeding lust. “Just one time and it’ll never happen again,” he promises fervently as his lips graze your ankle. You find some relief when his fingers disappear from your drenched center. But your respite is ephemeral. He slips his hands under your ass and tugs at your panties.
Panic widens your eyes. Cheeks ablaze, you pull at the material between your legs with both hands. But he’s stronger than you and effortlessly drags the fabric along your legs. A wicked smile plays on his lips as tears glisten in your eyes. It’s soon down to your ankles. You squeal when the president yanks the panties off your foot, tossing them aside. Cool air sneaks beneath your skirt, swirling over your bare folds.
Hands over your knees to keep you spread, his wolfish gaze sweeps over your glossy folds. 
Your skin heats, embarrassment gathering in your chest. You’ve never been this vulnerable and exposed in front of anybody before.
“Please, President Snow, s-stop…” 
“But you’re dripping, sweetheart,” he states smugly, sinking a finger inside your weeping core, as if to make a point. Your breath hitches. He takes his finger out sluggishly. You clench when he grazes one of your sensitive spots. “Just as sweet as I expected,” he hums, obscenely licking your essence off his long digit.
Without a warning, he buries his head between your thighs. A sharp exhale leaps from your mouth. His cool tongue traces a wet trail over your folds. President Snow traces maddening patterns over your swollen bud causing your eyes to roll back.
You card your fingers through his silken platinum locks, hoping to push his head away. But the delightful sensations grow too overwhelming. You unravel beneath his sinful ministrations, your limbs twitching as the thread of your thoughts comes loose.
Your grip on his hair weakens. Your belly tightens, your chest rising and falling rapidly. 
You jolt as his tongue flickers over your tender heap of nerves. 
“P-President…” 
He purrs against your folds and the vibrations rock through your core. You squirm in the chair. Your thighs quake. Your vision dims, your mind blank as waves of pleasure swaddle you in their tide. Protests scatter on your tongue, replaced by wanton whimpers and moans.
Electricity ripples through your spine as you cry out.
Bliss engulfs you and your legs turn liquid. Shame swirls in your gut as your juices coat his tongue. He drinks your nectar, elation rumbling in his chest. 
When he lifts his head, you hardly recognize him. The feral glow in his gaze chills your blood.
There is no time to collect yourself, realize what just occurred, as the blonde gathers your limp frame from the chair and places you on his desk. Documents and papers are flung to the ground as he grabs your thighs and presses his throbbing hard-on against your cunt. 
He hastily unbuttons his pants, freeing his hard length. He fists his cock and guides it through your wet entrance. Your back arches, the sudden intrusion robbing you of air. He reaches the hilt of you in a few seconds, giving you no time to accommodate his thick girth. You collapse over the desk, weak whimpers leaving you as your walls are stretched to their limit. He drags out of you, his pupils flaring as they trace the motion of his length in and out of you. Coriolanus leans over you. He snaps his pelvis into your hips, each of his thrusts tearing tearful moans from your throat.
When you turn your head, hot tears flowing down your cheeks, he grabs your chin so you’re forced to meet his lustful stare. Bracing himself on the desk, he reaches between your bodies to pinch your swollen clit. He plucks at your soft bud until you shatter around him with a sob. His throat bobs, a look of sheer bliss flitting across his face when you clench around him.
“I’ve been dying to fuck you the minute I saw you,” he confesses, trailing soft pecks over your collarbone. A sinister chuckle peals from his lips. “The way you looked at me with those sweet, innocent eyes…it made me rock-hard.” He tilts your chin towards him, his thumb skimming over your parted lips.
Satisfaction glimmers in his eyes as they flick over your prone form.
“You should thank me. Those boys at the Academy wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like you…” His cock twitches inside you. Sticky warmth spills from him, painting your walls and dripping past your hole. Drops of his seed leak onto the desk. A throaty sigh pours from President Snow’s throat as your cunt flutters around him.
His teeth nip the skin of your neck.
“...But I do.”
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After what occurs in his office, you hope to avoid President Snow. Those hopes are swiftly dashed however. President Snow lied to you. It doesn’t happen once. In fact, you begin to lose count of the actual number.
Every time the president finds a little spare time, he summons you.
Sometimes you end up bent over the desk in his office as he pours the frustrations of the day into your warm hole. Sometimes he prefers you sprawled on your back in one of the multitude of luxurious beds in the mansion while he devours you as if you were his very last meal. And at times, he grows even more impatient and simply shoves you against a wall before ravaging you.
More than once, a maid or footman has walked in on the two of you, and you’ve had to swallow your shame and embarrassment.
As you’ve come to learn, the entire staff is aware of Coriolanus Snow’s insatiable appetite and none of them seems to care.
You feel sick, desperate, trapped in something twisted and awful you never signed up for.
But how does one say no to President Coriolanus Snow? The entire Capitol yields to his every whim. And you are the same. Here to bow and smile and lie back whenever he demands it.
You long to focus on your job, to care for Martius and nothing else. Whenever the boy looks up at you with those innocent blue eyes, eerily similar to his father’s, your stomach wrenches. You pray he never comes to learn what kind of man his father is. You wish he’d stay just as kind and sweet as he is now.
Those are the thoughts drifting through your mind as you watch Martius play with his toy trains. Your eyes wander towards the window. Outside, orange and purple hues are bleeding into the sky, the afternoon nearing its end. Your stomach coils. It’s during times like these that President Snow often seeks you out. You’ve tried to run away from him but it’s all a game to Coriolanus, and he always delights in chasing you through the hallways.
Your brows crumple as you note that Martius has stopped playing. He drops his toy and rushes to your side. Confounded by his behavior, you’re on the cusp of asking him what’s wrong…but your gaze follows what caught his attention on the other side of the room.
You fall silent, your eyes rounding in shock.
“Martius. Come here, my love,” says the blonde woman in a white robe and nightgown, her arms wide open.
Time stands still for a few seconds. It takes you a while to realize who stands before the door. She looks so different, more ghost than woman, her glassy blue eyes hollow and sunken. But her likeness is unmistakable. Even with her graying, limp tresses and ashen complexion, you recognize Livia Cardew. The president’s wife.
You bolt to your feet. Arms still open, Livia takes slow steps towards Martius.
“I’m your mom, sweetie. Don’t you remember me?”
The little boy’s fists clutch your skirt as he hides his face against your leg.
“You’re not my mom.”
A stricken look twists Livia’s features as she shrinks. As if her own son just drove a knife through her heart. Your chest twinges. While her abrupt appearance is a shock, you can’t imagine how she must feel. You place a hand on Martius’ back and try to nudge him forward.
“Martius. It’s the First Lady, your mother. Go on, hug her,” you urge softly.
He shakes his head, tears filling his eyes as he hides behind you even more.
You’re stunned. Has it truly been that long?
“Martius-”
You don’t get to finish your sentence, Livia lunging at you, her eyes wild with fury.
“You! This is all your fault,” she hisses. She points at you and scoffs, “You’re his new whore, aren’t you?” Her mouth wobbles as she grips her head. “First you take my husband, now my son.”
Martius begins to sob. His loud cries overlap with his mother’s frantic yelling. You cover his eyes, tossing Livia an apologetic look.
“First Lady, I never meant-”
Before you can explain yourself, she grabs a nearby vase and smashes it. White roses scatter on the floor. Stomping all over the petals and broken glass, she collects one of the shards and races towards you. Terror numbs you. You freeze as Livia aims the shard at you, scarlet droplets dripping on her nightgown as she squeezes her fist around the glass.
Your eyes shut as you wait for the inevitable strike.
You shiver, waiting still.
But it doesn’t come.
“Livia, darling, that’s enough. It’s time for you to sleep and take your medicine.”
The familiar sound of Coriolanus’ voice causes your eyes to snap open. 
You watch him restrain a struggling Livia. She curses at him, fighting him with all her might. It’s a painful spectacle. 
“No, don’t touch me!” Other staff members rush into the room. It takes several people to hold Livia down, colorful expletives pouring from her mouth as she punches and kicks whoever comes close. “You’re killing me! You bastard! Give me my son back! Martius! Martius!”
The child trembles against your skirt, his tear-filled gaze stuck to the floor.
Eventually someone manages to stick a needle into Livia’s neck. She instantly goes limp, arm still reaching for her son in her last conscious second.
“Take her away,” Coriolanus instructs.
The first lady’s flaccid form is dragged out of the room. Still shaken by what you just witnessed, you don’t move a muscle. President Snow approaches you, worry swimming in his blue orbs. 
“Are you alright, dove?” He cups your cheeks, his brows crumpling as his gaze settles on your neck. “I’ll have Doctor Gaul look at you. She has an ointment for that.” He caresses your cheeks, smiling. You gape at him. How can he smile at a time like that? “It won’t even scar. I promise.”
You graze your neck. Your fingers come away bloody. Oh. Livia nicked you with the shard but you didn’t even feel it. Perhaps adrenaline numbed you to the pain.
“Dada,” Martius chimes, lifting his chubby arms.
Coriolanus’ face warms as he picks up his son. He tosses him in the air and catches him. Martius giggles through his tears.
“My sweet boy. That was very scary, wasn’t it?” he says, balancing his son on his hip. Martius nods and wipes his nose. Coriolanus flicks his cheek, beaming at him. “Don’t worry, son. The scary lady won’t bother you anymore in a few months.”
A wave of ice blows through your veins. You wonder why the president uttered those words with such certainty. Like a promise. Or a prophecy. Almost as if he knows exactly when the grim reaper will come knock on his wife’s door.
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The next day, you hand over your resignation to Pandora. Her expression is skeptical as she gauges the manila folder you give her.
“This is for the president,” you announce.
She unleashes a deep exhale. “You should reconsider, sleep on it.”
You almost laugh. Sleep on it? You can hardly find rest, the picture of a disheveled Livia Cardew crying out for her son haunting your nights. Whatever befell upon the poor woman, you wouldn’t be surprised if her husband somehow had a hand in it. It broke your heart, seeing her like that, her own son unable to recognize her. You also despise the role Coriolanus forced you to play in erasing her memory.
All of it feels wrong. 
And most of all, you don’t want President Snow to use you to satisfy his lewd desires anymore. He took all your firsts, all the moments that should have been beautiful, and made them a nightmare you have to relive every time he touches you.
You respected him; you admired him. Now you can’t be in his presence without dread whispering through you. What will he make you do this time? How will he make you small and powerless again?
“I can’t…I can’t do this anymore. He can hire someone else to care for him.”
Pandora purses her lips and shakes her head.
“It’s really not that simple. The president has developed…a fondness for you.”
You bristle. “I have to go back home. Laertes is expecting me.”
“You won’t like what comes next, trust me.” Her gaze narrows. “No one leaves the president.”
Ignoring the shudder elicited by her daunting words, you pivot and make a beeline towards the exit. Pandora’s voice echoes down the hallways.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Depleted, you glumly make your way to the gates. You enter the car that takes you back home everyday. Your thoughts wander as the Snow’s house grows smaller through the car window. You were thrilled when you got this job. It felt like kismet after the year you and your brother had. A rainbow after the rain. A slice of hope.
How it all went to hell so quickly. You’re still reeling from it. You’ve no idea what you’ll do next. The only thing you know for certain is that you will not step foot into the Snows’ estate ever again.
The car suddenly halts. You bump your head into the passenger’s seat. Wincing, you grip the sides of your head. As you retrieve your senses, you look around. You stopped.
You toss a questioning look at the driver.
But before he can respond, the car door opens and you’re yanked outside. Two pairs of strong arms drag you away from the car.
You take in the blue uniforms of the men. Terror pulses through your blood.
Peacekeepers.
Noting the guns at their sides, you stop trying to resist. There’s no fighting against them, ever. They are the Capitol’s fist and carry the President’s will. You don’t stand a chance. In fact, you likely never did. You slump in their grip, despair thrumming inside you.
They escort you to a black car with tinted windows. Your pulse soars. You’ve only ever seen one individual step out of this car.
The peacekeepers toss you inside and slam the door shut.
Your fearful gaze rises to him.
He casually sits in front of you, his eyes narrowed.
“You disappoint me, dove.” He lets out a weary sigh. “After everything I’ve done for you…you try to leave me. I thought you were smarter than that.”
You twine your hands, sputtering, “I-I’m not the right person for this job, sir.”
He slides his fingers under your chin, tilting it upward.
“Oh but you’re perfect. My son loves you. You’re sweet, dutiful and most importantly…” He smirks. “You are mine. Mine to hold, spoil and fuck whenever I please for however long I please.”
The prospect fills you with dread. He wants you to be his toy again, submissive, available whenever he pleases.
“Sir…”
His jaw ticks, his hold on your jaw tightening.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your brother could attend the University, free of charge? A bright young mind such as his, I believe he deserves it.” His blue eyes twinkle. “Instead of, let’s say…end up in a District, his name chosen as a tribute in the next Hunger Games.” Your heart sinks to your feet. “That’d be awful, wouldn’t it? So cruel…” he mumbles, stroking your trembling bottom lip.
“No, please,” you beseech, tears swelling in your eyes. Your brother’s all you have left in the world. Nothing can happen to him. 
Coriolanus fondles your cheek, the tender gesture a sharp contrast to the wicked words rolling off his tongue.
“It’s all up to you, then, dove. As long as you behave, I’ll give you the world. But if you act like a little brat again…” A threat lurks in his soft tone, a glint of madness swaying in his cobalt orbs. “I really don’t know what I might do.”
Chills dance over your spine.
“I promise to never do it again,” you blurt out.
He pulls out a square from his breast pocket. It’s identical to the one he used the first time.
But a lifetime seems to have passed since that moment, the world now so different from what you imagined, and the man before you…even more so.
“Good girl,” he lauds while swiping away your tears. 
He shoves the pocket square back in its place. Coriolanus then beams at you as he starts unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his pants.
“Now, I’ve had a long, exhausting day. So how about you get on your knees for me and make it better with that sweet mouth of yours, dove?”
5K notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 2 months
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it's got to be time travel | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem footballer!reader
face claim: jessie fleming (i'm a chelsea fan and i'm sad she left :()
they've got all the time in the world for each other, don't ask them where they got that time from though
note: we're also gonna pretend that the women's football and f1 seasons line up here lol
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | MY SMALL BUSINESS
charles_leclerc
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liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 1,203,784 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: last sunday lunch before we both have to go back to work :(
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user1: ffs why do their ACTUAL jobs have to get in the way of my regularly scheduled charles x y/n content???
user2: i personally think that the fia should just give charles the championship and y/n the WSL title so they can just chill together :)
maxverstappen1: not on my watch
charles_leclerc: you don't even follow me? get out of my comments
maxverstappen1: you can't just get given the championship because you have attachment issues WE ALL HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES
charles_leclerc: me i get, but y/n doesn't deserve to win?
maxverstappen1: i never said that. y/n is girlboss slay queen
yourusername: too right i am
charles_leclerc: why are you peace and love with her and not me?
maxverstappen1: she's cool, you aren't
yourusername: can't disagree with that babe soz
user3: i have a feeling that these spats might get worse the longer charles is separated from y/n
user4: waa waa we're all sad their being separated but all i'm thinking is UP THE CHELS
user5: i need the treble right fucking now, a charles championship would be a bonus i guess
lewishamilton: will i get a formal introduction to y/n before we're teammates?
yourusername: YES, YES YOU WILL
charles_leclerc: i guess that answers that
lewishamilton: don't hate the player, hate the game
yourusername: i better see your ass at kingsmeadow at some point, it's fun, even if others think they're too good for it
lewishamilton: i'll be there 🫡
user7: can 2025 come quick.... PLEASE
user8: lol does this mean that charles has offered to take carlos to a game but he didn't go?
user9: ugh what a bore
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,402,667 others
tagged: chelseafcw
yourusername: excited for the new season back with the girlypops :))))))
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user10: treble or nothing I BEG
user11: it's their year for the champions league i've seen the script
alexalbon: no seatbelt ? way to set dangerous examples to your young audience
yourusername: if you're not careful i'm gonna teach my audience how to put their foot up the ass of those annoying her
alexalbon: ugh i hope you lose :P
yourusername: i don't have to hope, i know your ass ain't gonna be in q3
alexalbon: that's TOO far @charles_leclerc does our years of friendship mean nothing?
charles_leclerc: sorry buddy, i am y/n stan first, human being second
yourusername: as he should.
user12: so like... will we see charles in a y/n jersey again in the paddock?
user13: @ferrari stop being so annoying and let him wear what he wants
user14: i think i tasted paradise when they actually let him wear a y/n canada jersey in montreal
charles_leclerc: never seen someone make blue look so good
maxverstappen1: i'm right here?
sebastianvettel: did the homoeroticism of our challenge videos mean nothing?
danielricciardo: do not lie to yourself
yourusername: sorry sluts, you wish you looked this good
charles_leclerc: they'll never be you 🫶🏻
user15: i know the cfcw admin and pr department have a heart attack every time y/n posts
user16: the way she's out here calling three f1 drivers sluts with no repercussions
yourusername: can't be told off for telling the TRUTH
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f1
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tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername
f1: couple goals! charles leclerc takes pole in bahrain while his girlfriend, y/n y/ln, scored the winner for chelsea women!
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user19: okay but i've never been in a relationship and am currently rotting on my couch... so who is the real winner here x
yourusername: my handsome boy is so talented :3
charles_leclerc: not as talented as you, pretty girl
yourusername: nuh uh at least my team is competent
charles_leclerc: errrrr
samkerr20: i think you broke him lol
yourusername: sometimes i think he's more loyal to ferrari than me
charles_leclerc: no!
scuderiaferrari: huh?
charles_leclerc: wait...
yourusername: i see :(
charles_leclerc: i'm LOGGING OUT
user20: charles is so lover boy stuck in his tortured poets department (ferrari formula one team)
user21: the way he's probably yelling down the phone to y/n about how much he loves her right now
samkerr20: he is and it's so loud the whole locker room can hear it
yourusername: but he's so sweet isn't he
niamhcharles17: i guess?
alexalbon: we heard it from his side... barf
yourusername: @lilymunhe are you being starved of romance?
lilymunhe: compared to you and charles YES
alexalbon: ummmm get out of my business y/ln
yourusername: you're ALWAYS in my business buster 🤨
alexalbon: NO! i am just passing down the ancient skill of communication?
yourusername: you're such a gossip girl alex
user21: i know they bicker like siblings, but i know deep down that there have been double dates
charles_leclerc: yes, but y/n and i are much better (no offence lily)
yourusername: did you log back in to restart the argument with alex
charles_leclerc: yes!
alexalbon: boo you whore
yourusername: don't talk to him like that 🤨
samkerr20
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 303,445 others
tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc
samkerr20: forced to hang out with the straights... they're actually kind of cute
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user22: you know the couple has to be real cute when even the gays think they're cute
user23: no one can resist the charms of y/n and charles
yourusername: these photos make me think that we are cuter
samkerr20: we are but i didn't want to hurt charles' feelings
charles_leclerc: consider them hurt
samkerr20: boo hoo
yourusername: noooooo i love you xxx
charles_leclerc: hehehehehehehe i love you too xxx
yourusername: i miss you, hurry up and win and come home to me
charles_leclerc: i'm doing my best :(
yourusername: you are the bestest boy
samkerr20: STOP THAT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A DOG
oscarpiastri: when will australians stop being victims of this relationship
danielricciardo: this is your first season dealing with them properly, buckle up
oscarpiastri: i'm in a relationship but they make me feel so lonely
maxverstappen1: you get used to it after a while
yourusername: we're right here
landonorris: let us commiserate in peace
charles_leclerc: ??? do you or do you not get free football tickets out of it?
landonorris: yeha but when we go we just have to watch you cry when y/n inevitably wins another trophy
charles_leclerc: I'M PROUD OF HER AND YOU WON'T SHAME ME FOR THAT
user24: chelsea women players must be so confused when these grown men start arguments in the comments of THEIR posts
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,529,556 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: weekend off... you know what that means
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user25: i know there's over 1.5 million likes but how can i gatekeep y/n?
user26: for real
charles_leclerc: the best weekends are with you here
yourusername: i may have a love/hate relationship with this team, but the catering is banging (i may have to move to italy)
chelseafcw: NO MENTIONS OF LEAVING CHELSEA, NOT EVEN A JOKE - NOTHING!
yourusername: okay, sorry guys (the pasta was so good though)
charles_leclerc: not even for me?
chelseafcw: DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU, WATCH OUT OR WE'LL BLACKLIST YOU FROM KINGSMEADOW
yourusername: okay, let's pedal this back. i'm not leaving london and we all still love charles, right admin?
chelseafcw: .... yes
user27: when you're in a who has attachment issues with y/n y/ln and your competition is the chelseafcw admin and charles leclerc
user28: no point even showing up
maxverstappen1: i for one am glad when y/n is in the paddock because it means i can sneak in without the cameras seeing me
yourusername: i am a woman of the people
charles_leclerc: she's such a star, everyone wants to see her
maxverstappen1: yeah i'll give you that
yourusername: we're also hot
charles_leclerc: don't you dare respond to that one max
maxverstappen1: 🫡🫡🫡
user29: patiently waiting for the hq photos of them 😚
user30: gonna print them out and put them in my heart locket
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charles_leclerc
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liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,398,452 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: babe is top of the league (and top scorer)
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user33: get yourself a guy who flexes your achievements as much as charles does
user34: setting the example tbf
yourusername: my lucky charm, that hat-trick was for you xx
charles_leclerc: would mean more if you didn't score them every week 😭
yourusername: they hate to see a girlboss winning
charles_leclerc: wanna share some wins with me?
yourusername: you're doing great this season babe, not your fault that nasa decided to rebrand to red bull racing
redbullracing: adrian says thanks 😊
charles_leclerc: DON'T SAY IT Y/N
yourusername: you don't even know what i was going to say
charles_leclerc: ....
yourusername: @redbullracing you got a seat???
charles_leclerc: Y/N!!!!!!!!!!
yourusername: whoops
user35: y/n really out here trying to get charles that damn seat
yourusername: i'll stop when the horse team makes a championship worthy car that they don't break halfway through the season...
user36: add ferrari to the group of people who shudder in fear when y/n posts
chelseafcw: fine... we hope you enjoyed (no more italy jokes)
charles_leclerc: i had a great time, i always do when i watch y/n do what she loves (slay)
yourusername: awwwwwwwwww i love you charlie
chelseafcw: okay no need to make admin feel that lonely, damn
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,782,309 others
yourusername: finishing my best ever season with a big trophy haul :) now time to support my trophy husband in his day job
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user41: she really be out here doing it all
user42: i need her to win the Ballon d'Or Féminin PLEASE IT IS TIME
user43: with charles in attendance, first couples red carpet appearance YES, YES RUN IT TO ME PLEASE
charles_leclerc: unbelievably proud of you, mon amour, constantly inspired by you
yourusername: i love you so much, thank you for being there to support me through it all
charles_leclerc: it's the biggest pleasure in the world
yourusername: i'm all out of winning this season, your turn next weekend?
charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything
user44: PLEASE I NEED HIM TO WIN GOOD PLEASE
alexalbon: congrats i guess, you're pretty good
yourusername: thanks, since my boyf is so supportive, it's only natural that you have to try and humble me at every turn
alexalbon: you're more famous than us now, we need to keep you grounded
lilymunhe: don't worry y/n he cried nearly just as much as charles when you won the WSL
yourusername: I KNEW IT
charles_leclerc: i still cried more
alexalbon: it's not a competition bro, we all know you're both helplessly in love
yourusername: that we are
charles_leclerc
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tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: happiest when i'm with you (and whoever has decided to tag along), oh and winning a race helps as well i guess
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user45: CHARLES WIN I REPEAT A CHARLES WIN WE WON?
user46: the way y/n went just as mental as us, her and zecira jumping around the garage (and starting the champagne shower after the podium)
user47: really proving that y/n and charles really are each other's biggest fans
user48: thank the lord the WSL season finished when it did so y/n could be there for this win
user49: y/n would've ran to austria to be there i'm sure
yourusername: you know it 🫡
maxverstappen1: had to let you win so you could look cool in front of your infinitely cooler girlfriend
charles_leclerc: not even gonna bite, i'm too happy to care
yourusername: i'll bite - HIS TALENTED BEHIND SCHOOLED YOUR ASS
maxverstappen1: but i called you cool?
yourusername: i'll accept the compliment now, i had to defend charles' honour first
charles_leclerc: heheheehe i'm blushing
maxverstappen1: gross
user50: i need y/n to permanently be in the ferrari garage, they were on it today (i think out of fear)
landonorris: damn i thought i thirdwheeling lestappen was bad, but y/n and charles is a different beast
yourusername: we're both athletes, need to savour the time we have together when we can
charles_leclerc: sorry not sorry you'll get it when you're in love
landonorris: .... i guess i'll die then
fin.
note: i hope you enjoyed !!!! one last WIP to go and good lord the writers block is kicking my ass. but f1 being back should help!!! + f1 academy, much enjoyed it so far.
1K notes · View notes
k-hotchoisan · 4 months
Note
mmmmmm been thinkin abt photographer!san right nd he is know for his boudoir photography but his latest client’s got him in a chokehold like god how is she so fuckin sexy nd he can’t focus at all bc fuck all he wants to do is fuck her senseless— HELP
Your wish is my command Angel! Thank you for being patient 😘
As always, enjoy 🩷
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snap.
<Choi san x fem!reader>
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Synopsis: encouraged by your friend, you give boudoir photography a try after recovering from a break up, you find yourself doing more than just be a model.
Genres/warnings: smut, boudoir photographer!San x model!reader, sexual tension, unprotected sex, cream pies, mention of oral
Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie @voicesinmyhead-rc @pre1ttyies
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“Boudoir photography?” You reiterate. Your friend nods.
“A friend of a friend of a friend tried it recently and apparently she’s been full of confidence. Her boyfriend adores it too!” Your friend squeals.
You scrunch your eyebrows, wondering how semi-nude photos taken by a professional photographer in this niche would boost one’s confidence.
Your friend’s eyes dart to you again, and then your phone pings. You look at the link your friend sent you. It’s a referral code for a promotion. You turn to her, gaze still dripping with skepticism.
“Come on, just try it. You’re a lovely person and you deserve to see it for yourself! Boudoir photography might really help at not being constantly self critical.”
You weren’t an entirely insecure person, and you were sure of that. It’s just that, after the rough break up with your ex, and seeing them move on instantly (like two fuckin weeks) with a new partner, undoubtedly was a gut punch to your self esteem, while you were still stuck grieving over the lost relationship and wasted time.
You’ve heard of boudoir photography, but you’ve never actually understood the concept of it, considering that it was niche, and that you don’t really know the point of it. You glance down at the referral link before deciding to just fuck it and sign up.
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San is working overtime again, meticulously editing and touching up the photos. It’s become a natural part of him to almost be a perfectionist, whether when on the ground taking photos of the model or the post editing process. But he never loses the sight of letting the women shine naturally through their photos. After all, in such a niche market, they picked him. Definitely, he has his mix of male boudoir models, but the women evidently take up a higher ratio. He understands that one of the most important aspects of boudoir photography is trust and comfort with his models, which has them coming back for more sessions, sometimes even with their partners.
Setting up his own business in such a niche market was difficult of course, and he’s grateful that he’s managed to make a name for himself. But sometimes he’s grateful that his good looks are an added bonus to drawing in his clients.
His email pings and it makes him pause his work. Maybe he should finish it tomorrow. San glances at the fresh email that sits in his inbox.
An appointment via referral.
He opens it, and looks through the client’s information. At the bottom box for comments, sits a short question.
[Just wondering, what should I expect for my appointment? Is there anything I should prepare?]
He takes a moment before he drafts a reply.
[Hey there! Nice to meet you. I’m Choi San, boudoir photographer of Woodie’s Studios. First of all, thank you for choosing our studio for your boudoir experience!
Regarding your question, come in with an open mind. For what to wear, you may bring a set of clothes/lingerie of whatever you feel confident in.
I don’t bite, I promise!]
He reads the reply a second time before he hits send. It’s not as if it’s the first time he’s gotten questions like these anyway. His train of concentration is broken, so he decides to call it a night.
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You reach the opaque door of a clean-looking studio apartment. The sign has San’s studio name and logo imprinted on it, so you’re sure that you are at the right location.
You press the door bell and it chimes a lovely tune. There is a quiet pause, before the door handle clicks and the door itself pulls back. Before you stood a really, no, an insanely good looking, tall male. His glasses rest loosely on the bridge of his nose as his small eyes meet yours. His brunette hair is slightly messy. He wears an expression of confusion at first, but it turns into something unreadable. You think for a spilt second that he may have gotten the wrong client, but your rationale reminds you that you did send him photos of yourself so he’s able to recognise you. You blink once, then twice because you were starting to get lost at how handsome your photographer was.
“Choi San..?” you say, with a small tilt of your head.
Then it’s his turn to blink, and he snaps out of that small trance he seemed to be caught in for a few seconds. Then a smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he greets you.
“Hey! Y/n right? Sorry, was tryna recognise you. I promise I don’t usually take that long to process”, he chuckles, pulling the door wider as he ushers you in, reminding you to switch out your shoes for the apartment slippers.
The hallway San brings you down is brightly lit and spilt into a couple of sections which you assumed one of them would be the photo studio itself. A couple of posters of pin up girls hang on the walls, all of them beautiful and stunning.
He then stops at a glass door and pushes it, to what you assumed to be his office.
“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get you a cup of tea. Any preferences?”, he gestures. You shake your head as you let yourself sink into the velvet couch, gingerly leaving your bag of clothing beside you. San gives a polite nod and excuses himself to the pantry.
And the moment the door shuts behind him, he tears his glasses off the bridge of his nose and hooks the branch onto his collar.
His hand is placed over his heart.
San has photographed many different women over the course of his career, some breathtakingly beautiful. But none has ever made his heart skip a beat and caused his words to be stuck at the back of his throat, not like you did. He doesn’t know what has gotten into him. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how you looked like—the pictures you sent served that purpose. Maybe it was the fact that he never expected you to look like that in real life, and for once, he almost doesn’t know how to react. His thoughts are all over the place as he paces into the pantry to prepare your tea. As he���s dipping the tea bag into the piping hot water, he begins feeling self conscious—was his hair too shrivelled? Did he smell bad? Was there something on his face? He tightens his grip on the mug and hastily makes his way back to his office.
San returns, with a smile on his face as he settles the cup onto the coffee table before you, and he joins you, seated on a velvet armchair across you.
“Take your time”, he reassures. “We can start after this, if you’re feeling comfortable, or we can just talk a little to ease your nerves.” It doesn’t take you much to think—you opt for the latter of course.
San laughs and nods. “I get that a lot, especially from first time female clients. It’s valid of course, having a male being your photographer for boudoir can sound off-putting. Perhaps looking at my portfolio might put you slightly at ease?” He reaches out for a large and thick leather-bound photo album. You let it rest on your lap as you receive it with a soft “thank you”, and flip the album open, and you’re instantly awestruck—San’s work spoke for himself. The models were diverse, both in nationalities and body shapes, all equally stunning and sensual in their own expressive ways. The only common denominator was the glint of genuine emotion and confidence reflected in their eyes.
You wonder to yourself—could you look and feel as confident as them? As you skim through the pictures, you feel yourself falling in love with the models as well—their genuine smiles when they do and the gazes they give.
When San catches himself staring at you being absorbed in admiring his portfolios, he feels his cheeks flush and he looks down, wondering what you think of it all.
“I see why you have so many clients. The pictures are gorgeous”, you say, shutting the photo album and handing it back to him. San flashes a sheepish smile and mutters a “thank you” loud enough for you to hear. The silence in the room remains a for awhile as you sip the tea, letting it calm your nerves. You don’t even know it but the person with actual jittery nerves was San himself, a feeling that he never expected to feel since the last time he did was when he started out this business three years ago.
“So… what’s the goal of being a boudoir model, if you don’t mind me asking? Like was it a long time thing you wanted to try or was it something spontaneous?” He asks to break the silence.
“I broke up with my ex recently”, you respond curtly, before taking another sip of the tea. Damn, this is some good ass tea. San blinks at your reply, unsure of what to make out of the bluntness. Before he attempts to reply, you continue, “and my friend sent me a referral to your studio, and I thought to myself, why not? I want to feel confident in my own skin. Also, I think it’s an interesting way of self exploration.” Your gaze meets his, and it’s his turn to look awestruck. You try to ignore the flutter in your chest when he laughs softly, when his smile reaches his eyes. It’s the way that he’s confident of his craft, and it’s making you warm up to him even more.
Your fingertips tap on the mug softly. Your gaze lands on the photobook once more.
“Does taking such risqué pictures affect you when you first started out?” You ask before taking another sip. San ponders about the question for awhile. He has people asking him that before, but for some reason, he wants to be slightly more transparent with you.
“I don’t see about my clients in a sexual way, even if they physically look appealing to me. In the end, self confidence and comfort always comes first, and I think that’s what I enjoy seeing in my clients when they become more comfortable in their own skin. People don’t understand how difficult it is to fully love yourself”, he replies.
That’s when you understand why San’s photography studio had so many recurring clients.
“Why boudoir? I think sensuality and intimacy is a form of art. It’s beautiful—watching people discover parts of themselves they never knew existed and falling in love. You don’t have to be conventionally attractive to be a boudoir model.
The money’s good, of course, but the satisfaction of watching my clients giving me feedback of them realising they deserve to love themselves more, or discovering other sides of themselves is nothing short of rewarding.”
By the time he’s done explaining, you feel a rush of confidence in yourself. It’s only been about ten minutes since the both of you just sat and talked, but you see that he definitely prioritises your comfort before he even begins the sessions. You ball your fingers into a fist, meeting San’s gaze with determination, telling him, “I think I’m ready.”
San’s eyes brighten up. “Great! You can use the bathroom to the left, and I’ll meet you at the photo studio just opposite the office.” He stands up, opening the door for you, and you bow slightly in courtesy as you head to the washroom to change. San’s heart beats faster, wondering what you’re gonna wear for the shoot.
San is fixing the sheets of the bed, then the studio lights at the perfect angle he wants it to be. His heart is still racing as he walks over to the tripod, glancing over at the door from time to time, awaiting for your arrival.
He perks up when he sees you walk in with a bathrobe on and he greets you cheerfully again, trying to hide his excitement.
You wave back with a smile, letting the environment of the photo studio sink in. The basic package for first timers consisted of a bed shoot, so it’s no surprise you see a bed in the middle of the room, covered in white. The bed looks comfy and you giggle to yourself, wondering if you’d end up falling asleep mid-shoot from how nice the bed looks.
“Anytime you’re ready”, San reminds you, carrying the tripod in one hand, his biceps flexing as he does, and it makes you blush slightly, which was ridiculous. Why are you swooning over your handsome photographer carrying the tripod with one arm? Suddenly you’re self conscious again, your fingers clutching against the black bathrobe. It was frustrating that you couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making you nervous, but you weren’t about to back out.
San continues to adjust his camera on the tripod, and his gaze absentmindedly shifts towards you, and his breath gets stuck in his throat, watching you undress from the bathrobe, revealing a white button up over black lace lingerie. It’s not anything new, but for some reason he can’t seem to tear his eyes off you—the way the panties hugs your hips and the bra cups your breasts, the garter belt hugging your waist and the straps hanging past your panties. He watches you climb onto the bed, eyes shutting briefly as you sink into the mattress with a soft smile.
He’s not confident that he’s able to last through the shoot, not when you’re looking like that.
“Is it too cold here?” San asks, trying to divert his attention from his perverse thoughts. You pop up from the sheets, the collars of the shirt slipping past your shoulders, obviously too big for you. That does nothing to help him with his thoughts.
“No, I think the temperature’s okay. Shall we get started?” You ask, buttoning up your shirt, the white material pathetically sheer that San is able to see the black bra peeking through.
The sight of you in an oversized shirt on, with no pants, just your underwear on is like a meal for San’s eyes. He hides behind the camera to hide his flushing cheeks, only to face your body through the viewfinder, watching you preparing to pose as you position yourself at the end of the bed, turning your body slightly to the side with one leg up, your thighs in full view, with the sleeves of the shirt covering most of your fingers, and your gaze right into the camera lens.
San takes a deep breath. Forty five minutes. He can do this.
“Sure. Ready whenever you are, y/n.”
It turns out to be a very agonising forty five minutes. While the both of you were cracking jokes during the shoot, San finds himself getting more distracted when you gradually remove your shirt, and when your poses grow ever more risqué—at one point you remove your bra and fit your shirt over again, which definitely made San grow very restless when he’s unable to tear his eyes away from your bare chest.
Midway through the shoot, all that swarms his mind is wondering how your body would feel against his, how your bare skin would feel under his hands, what kind of faces you would make when you’re under him.
What kind of noises you would make for him when he fits his cock right into you. He wants to fuck you so hard that your mind goes blank—so good that you’ll never remember your ex.
San blinks, his finger still on the shutter button. He doesn’t know what washed over him, but what he does know is the taut feeling in his pants, and he internally heaves a sigh of relief that he decided to wear cargo pants. Nonetheless, he hopes that it isn’t obvious. Well, it shouldn’t be, as long as you don’t ask for close up shots.
“San! Could you come closer for my close ups?” You call out, letting the collar of your shirt fall off your shoulder once more, revealing your bare shoulders, and reminding him that you were still braless underneath the loose clothing article.
Fuck.
San forces a smile, unlatching his camera and trying to walk normally without letting his erection steal your attention.
He reaches to where you are, reminding himself to stay professional, but when he meets your playful gaze, all he wants to do is pin you down. Your eyes twinkle with allure as you prepare your next pose. You get it now—the confidence that slowly trickles into you after every photo taken. You’ve never realised that you had this side of yourself, not until now, and you love it.
The close up shots only spell another layer of doom for San—he adores the budding confidence that you exude, but it makes it even harder for him to hold back, watching you make sultry expressions and poses close up. Through the viewfinder, his eyes try to focus on taking the photo but he finds himself being entranced by your stare. He counts down, then taking a few shots, not missing the growing smile you had.
San puts his camera away, reaching forward to your face to remove a stray hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear, and his touch is warm on your face. It’s then you realise how physically close San is to you—you smell his cologne and it leaves your mind blank for a spilt second. He’s absorbed in fixing your hair, combing the strays off your face, the sound of his quiet breathing the only thing you hear. You look away, wondering if your heartbeat is loud enough for him to hear, and you hope it isn’t. San gives you a soft smile when his eyes finally meet yours.
He pulls back, preparing to take his camera for the next shot, but his leg gets tangled in the sheets.
Everything happens in a spilt second—his knee that shifts forward at first, pressing against the sheet that has unknowingly tangled around his other leg, then San trying to get up quickly with the tangled leg, realising a little too late by the time he falls right onto the bed.
Right onto you.
He almost squishes you. Almost. But he lands above you, supported by his elbows just in time before his body is in contact with yours.
Your heart races, way too quick for you to even process what just occurred. All knew you was:
One; San is right above you,
Two; his lips are hovering over yours,
Three; you feel something pressing against your pelvis.
And San stares down at you, his heart beating in his ears. He takes in the sight of you below him—eyes looking up at him through fluttered lashes, your heat radiating against his skin, your lips slightly parted in surprise.
As well as the strain in his pants when his eyes instinctively lower to your bare chest, your nipples peeking through your shirt, and that his little problem is just resting right on you.
“I’m sorry”, San whispers, breaking the silence that had hung between the both of you. “This usually doesn’t happen…”
You crack an amused smile. “Usually?”you reiterate teasingly. A tint of red flushes San’s cheeks and his clothed erection presses harder against your bare skin, and it makes you bite your lip.
“Fuck. I mean, this never happens. It’s just.. I’ve never felt this way about my boudoir models…”, he trails off. “I think you’re fucking stunning since you entered the studio, and I think you’re even more stunning now.”
Your heart flutters at his confession and this time, you feel yourself blush. A soft laugh escapes from the male above you when he sees you avoid eye contact from the shyness. His strings of rationale—yelling at him to stay professional—is snapping. He’s not lying. He’s never felt so attracted to any of his models before, until you, and now that he has you trapped under him, he doesn’t want to lose that chance.
“Should we end the session here?” San asks, with a quick glance at your pretty red lips.
Your fingers are playing with the dangling silver chain that he wears. He lets you, waiting for your response before he catches your gaze dances back to meet his again. Your hands shift to caress San’s jaw, and he takes it as a sign to make his move. You inhale softly as you feel his lips press onto yours, and it makes your head spin with glee. He tastes so heavenly, and your legs clench at the feeling that flutters between your thighs.
San slightly presses his body weight onto you, his erection only growing harder against your thigh. But it looks like he’s taking his time.
His fingertips warm your skin, and he lets them slip up your body, until he’s at your chest, barely covered by the sheer cotton material. His thumbs grazes against your nipples, and you gasp in between open mouthed kisses. You feel him smile, and he applies pressure, and the sensation goes right to your pussy.
He pulls back, watching your lip stick smudged, and your eyes dilate. You can’t help but feel entranced by San, and now you’re wondering how his face would look like when he falls apart.
And it makes you excited.
San lulls you back from your thoughts when you feel his lips suck softly against your neck, and now your fingers are playing with his soft locks of hair.
He’s slightly embarrassed at the way he’s growing even harder when he gingerly peels the white shirt away. His hands cup your bare tits, and he lowers himself to your left tit, giving it a couple of hungry licks and sucks, leaving your back arching and your mouth agape from how ticklish his tongue feels as he flicks your nipple. He doesn’t neglect the other nipple, giving it the same attention as he relishes in the way you fall apart for him. When he has his fun of sucking and making sure your nipples swell while you moan and tug his hair, he pulls away.
He sits up, pulls his shirt over his head and you’re left drooling at how chiseled his body looks. San unbuttons his pants and yanks it off, alongside his boxers, and you watch with awe as his cock springs out—hard and heavy against his abdomen. Your panties are tugged off you in no time, and you don’t miss the way his cock twitches when his eyes land on your slick covered cunt.
“You’re gonna be the death of me”, you hear him mutter before he collides his lips against yours once more. You squeal when you feel his fingers press onto your clit, giving it small rubs, watching and soaking your reactions—your whines and whimpers. There is a dull buzz in your mind every time your bundle of nerves get stimulated, and it builds up in your tummy.
“Oh god, you’re getting even wetter”, he sighs, his fingers completely soaked.
“It feels good. So good. Keep doing that”, you whisper, your fingers pressing against his arm. Your moans only grow louder as San picks up the speed on rubbing your clit, and it’s sending you over the edge way quicker than you wanted to.
San lowers himself to your head, and his husky voice vibrates in your ears.
“That’s it, keep coming undone. Let your mind shut off. You look so fucking beautiful like that.”
“San, San, fuck. I’m gonna cum. Oh fuck-“
Your eyes roll back as your orgasm washes over you, your body tensing as pleasure becomes the only thing you know. You barely catch onto the dirty things San is telling you, but you know he’s encouraging you to cum on his fingers like a good girl.
He makes sure he has your orgasm drawn out as long as possible, your mind completely blown out at that point. San sucks off your arousal on his fingers, before giving his cock a few pumps.
“You taste like heaven, babe. I’ll get a taste of that cunt soon, but right now, I really can’t wait”, San huffs, trying to keep himself composed as he slowly fucks his hand.
“San, hurry up, please. I need you, so fucking bad”, you whine, your fingers pulling your wet folds open for him.
His breathing goes heavy at your words. “Damn, the shoot really got you heated,” San teases.
“I can’t help it if my photographer makes me wet”, you reply with a playful smile.
Something seems to snap in San when he hears that—all he’s thinking about is wanting to drive his cock so deep into you that your mind completely blanks out.
So that’s what he does.
San lines up his cock to your entrance and pushes and inch in. His eyes dart to your face, licking the bottom of his lip when he watches your face contort into pleasure. His hands stroke your thighs as he pushes in a couple more inches, soaking in your broken moans as he stretches you out. He forces himself to stay composed despite the fact that you’re squeezing him with your warm and soft walls.
He manages to bury himself right to the hilt and he gasps at how perfectly fitted his cock is in you, an uncontrollable moan escaping his lips when he feels you convulse around his cock.
“San, you’re so big. I’m so filled”, you whimper through glazed eyes, his cock completely cutting off other senses as your thighs tremble. A smile tugs at his lips.
“I’m gonna fuck you now, pretty”, San tells you. Despite that, he waits for your green signal before he pulls out and drives his cock right into you.
Your mind switches off the moment his cock is fucking your pussy, because that’s all that matters. It’s so good. So fucking good.
His hands slither to your wrists, and has them pinned over your head as his cock pistons into you. You swear he’s driving you to be cock dumb by the end of this, but not like you fucking minded anyway.
“Look at you. Growing stupid over my cock already. So fucking adorable.”
You only nod in reply, biting your lip as his cock continues to render you speechless. Now San has completely flooded into the smallest crooks of your mind. San has his mind blank, his eyes darting from your fucked out expression to your bouncing tits.
Your cunt flutters once again and tears are pooling at the corner of eyes. The sounds of wet skin slapping echo around the studio.
“…wanna touch you”, you mutter. Despite the face that you loved that he was holding you down, you are feeling desperate to feel his skin as you dance on the fence of your orgasm. San releases your wrists, and he props himself better as he continues to pound into you, hitting the soft, spongy spot over and over again when he has your legs folded. When his pulls out, his cock is covered in a creamy mess. His head spins and his ego inflates at the thought him being the one who drove you to this point of mind blanking pleasure.
“No, no, I’m gonna cum again. So good. San!” His name leaving your lips as a whine. Your hands are gripping onto the loose unbuttoned sleeves of your shirt. His hands take yours and places them on his on his sides, and he groans at the way you’re clawing him.
“Shit. Fuck!” San curses when you cream on his cock even more on top of your walls hugging him tightly. You let go on his cock with a pleasured sob, legs twitching.
It’s not long before a long drawn out moan San releases as his warm cum completely floods your tight hole. He swears he wants to keep his cock tucked in your pussy because it feels that fucking good.
His face—oh, his fucking face when he orgasms. You barely recover from your second orgasm to watch San fall apart while he empties in your pussy, and it almost drives you to your third orgasm. Almost.
The both of you remain still for a moment, only breathing filling in the silence. Then, San slowly pulls out, watching the way his cum leaks out of your abused hole.
San pulls back, and he realises that he’s never seen a more beautiful sight—you, splayed out in nude, only covered by a measly white shirt that inevitably drives him crazy, with cum leaking out of your pretty hole while your body twitches against the white sheets.
He thinks that it’s a pity that his camera is out of reach, because it’s such a beautiful shot.
You glance at San with a shy smile as he hands you your panties. He hooks the your legs into the panties and pulls it up to your hips. You feel another load stain your panties while your thighs twitch.
San dresses himself quickly and extends his arm for you to take as he leads you off the bed. He knows he’s got extra work to wash the sheets but that’s the least of his worries.
What throws you off is when he pulls you into his arms and kisses your temple.
“I promise I’ve never done to any of my clients”, he reiterates.
“Unprofessional”, you tease, your hands sneaking up his shirt.
“Can’t fucking help it. I never knew fucking an Angel in my studio would be this exhilarating. It makes the thought of washing the bedsheets bearable”, he teases back, letting his fingers tangle in your hair.
Your mind goes completely blank when he tells you to wash out the loads in you, so he’ll fill you up once more when he brings you home, which earns him a slap on the chest. He gestures you to go change up, watching the way you remove your shirt to reveal your bare back, and he makes a mental note to start fucking you from behind.
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And back at his place, he does. His eyes are hyper focused on the way your ass bounces on his cock. A loud slap reverberates in his room followed by a whimper.
He stills in you, spilling his load once more into your abused cunt as you cream all over him once again.
Then he has you wrapped up in his arms, peppering you with kisses as you’re teetering off your high.
“Stay over, won’t you?”, San requests, tucking a lock of hair behind your ears. You’re beginning to feel completely enamoured by the male. You nod as you melt into his arms.
San thinks it’s ridiculous how hard and fast he fell for you, but he’s confident that you’re his favourite model, ever.
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shotoh · 11 months
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❝ I THINK I… ♡ ❞
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ when they realize they’re in love with you
feat. oliver aiku, itoshi rin, nagi seishiro, isagi yoichi, itoshi sae, kunigami rensuke, mikage reo
cw + tw. fluff, some angst, fem!reader, aged-up!characters, pro-player!characters, friends to lovers + established relationships, pet names, (!!!)attempted assault (in kunigami’s scenario, but he’s obviously not the assailant), alcohol usage (in oliver’s), maximum self-indulgence
notes. jdjsjsn this is kind of all over the place but i just wanted to word dump some cute scenarios and headcanons
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OLIVER AIKU
honestly, he’d get kind of scared. and not in an appalled way like, “psh, i’m oliver aiku! i can get any woman i want so why should i only care about this one person?!”
no, it’s because he’s fully aware of his disloyal and womanizing past that he’s afraid of this. he’s afraid he’ll end up hurting you—the one person he truly cares about—and he believes you don’t deserve that.
you deserve so much better than a douchebag like him.
he keeps that growing pit of adoration to himself and carries on with his life as always, but that can only do so much when he’s so clearly infatuated with you.
the most he lets himself do is tag along on your night out at clubs. however, he doesn’t drink a lick of alcohol. he needs to be sober to take care of you in case you get too wild out there to do so yourself. while he’s there though he talks to a few of the women flocking around, entertains them a bit, maybe as a feeble attempt to get you off his mind and forget about the jealousy rooted deep inside him when too many guys check you out and ask for a dance. but nowadays, he can never find it in himself to take any of these women home. that’s how deep his affections for you have run.
at one point during the night, you approach him with one too many drinks in your system, evident by your wobbly steps and the carefree grin plastered on your face.
“oli~! why don’ yer dance wit me?!” you slur, nearly toppling in front of him if not for oliver dashing forward to stop you from falling on your face.
“i think you’ve had one too many drinks, sweetheart,” he chides. after that he’s draping his large coat over your bare shoulders and leading you back to his car to get you home, while ignoring all the pouty women on his way out.
you object to leaving at first, droning about how the night is still young, but oliver is persistent in getting you home safe and sound. eventually, you doze off in the passenger seat while he’s driving. when he parks in front of your apartment complex, he carries you all the way up to your door, fishes out your keys from your clutch, and finally gets you into bed.
he lingers a little bit longer to make sure you’re all settled and if you need his help with anything, but once the buzz in your system has fizzled and your eyes are fully lidded, oliver assumes you’re out like a light. that is, until he’s sitting at your bedside and he hears the faintest murmur from your lips.
“love you… oliver…” is what comes out in a lovely daze and he almost wants to deny he heard it for both yours and his sake, but all he can do is muster a smile, ghosting a hand along your cheek, and say while you’re blissfully unaware,
“love you too, sweetheart.”
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ITOSHI RIN
lowkey annoyed over this because instead of soccer plaguing his mind 24/7, his thoughts are now overrun by you! so he ignores the feeling, thinking it will magically go away or something. but newsflash to rin: it’s not as simple as it looks, and he ends up learning that lesson the hard way.
he spends the next week evading you—declining invites to hang out, sending half-hearted text messages, and ingraining himself in his soccer practices. unfortunately for him, his performance actually gets worse because now all those feelings he’s been bottling up inside his fragile heart are about to burst.
even shidou has been scoring more than him and rin just can’t live that down, especially when the former asks if the reason he’s been doing so poorly is because he and his “little girlfriend” broke up. which isn’t even the case since you’ve both never crossed that bridge.
poor boy goes home one day conflicted over all of this, slouched on the edge of his bed with his hands ruffled in his hair. soon he gets a text from you, which he shouldn’t be surprised by, given how he’s been treating you lately.
but then you’re asking him if he’s okay and rin is utterly taken aback because he’s been acting like such an asshole, yet you’re the one that’s still worried about his well-being.
right then and there rin has a long moment of contemplation, breathing a sigh into his hand which clasps over his mouth. he replies back with a quick apology text before telling you to meet him after his practice tomorrow. the moment he hits send, he tosses his phone on the bed, not willing to wait for that hovering gray bubble to appear on the message window.
when tomorrow arrives and practice is over, his steps are dragging along the pavement outside the training facility. he’s honestly doubting if you’ll even show up, but those qualms are immediately dashed when he sees your figure a few distances away. you’re standing there with apprehension written on your features, which morph into worry as soon as you cross eyes with him.
rin can’t even get a word in or form a coherent thought because the moment you run up to him, you’re blabbering about how he didn’t have to apologize because he was probably working so hard on soccer, chasing his dreams and the like. then, you bring up how maybe you should continue distancing yourself in order to help him focus, and god, that flicks a switch in rin’s head because that is far from what he wants.
all of a sudden, he’s silencing you as he pulls you into his chest. you find yourself buried in his jersey, confused but not drifting away, and even return the embrace when you sense him shake against you.
“fuck, no. i don’t want that all…” his voice sounds like he’s about to break as he mutters those words into your hair. his arms tighten around your shoulders as if you’ll leave him at any moment. you assure him you won’t as you nuzzle closer into his chest.
“then i’m not going anywhere, rin.”
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NAGI SEISHIRO
the thought comes upon him when he’s alone in his apartment. it’s not immediate though.
the sunlight seeping through the curtains inevitably wakes him up one very late morning. and by very late, i mean this dozy boy definitely slept in that day, if he couldn’t already tell from his digital clock reading 11am.
even though nagi is always keen on getting plenty of shut-eye, he’s constantly kept on his toes when it comes to having a productive sleep schedule. partially due to soccer practices, but also because you sometimes visit him in the mornings. so normally, he’s woken by the ruckus you’re making while cooking him breakfast in the kitchen.
but this morning it’s… silent. which in hindsight, nagi should be happy about, right? he got to sleep in, after all, and he doesn’t have practice today. what more could he want?
once he shakes off the last remnants of sleep from his body, he finally musters the strength to get out of bed and maybe start his day with something to eat. which this morning is… leftovers. specifically the leftovers from the last time you made him food—a couple days ago.
regardless, he warms them up and sits down with a plate on the table. says his appreciations for the meal and digs in. when the first bite enters his mouth, it tastes the same as when he initially had it, but there’s an empty feeling in the bottom of his stomach he can’t quite pinpoint. he scarfs down a few more spoonfuls until he grows tired of eating, resting his head on the table.
his tummy is full, yet that emptiness persists—it’s been on the forefront of his mind for several days now and it’s starting to annoy him. he can’t determine why that is and what makes those days any different from before succumbing to that void in his heart.
after all, nothings changed.
just that… you went on an overseas trip. without him.
well, it’s not like he was ever going to be invited since you’re supposed to be vacationing with your girlfriends.
ah, wait. maybe he’s just lonely.
no, that can’t be it. he hung out with reo and some of the other blue lock boys the day after you left. even a slacker like him still makes time to see his friends. so what is he missing here?
the question lingers in nagi’s noggin as he drags his fork along the remaining food stuck on his plate. at some point, his phone’s ringing breaks him from his stupor, and he’s surprised to glance over and see your caller id on the screen.
he’s not sure what comes over him, but nagi swears he’s never hit the accept button so fast in his life. immediately, he brings the phone next to his ear, and is the first one on the line to utter “hello?”
“sei, you’re awake! i’m glad i got the time zones right!” you exclaim in your cheery tone that nagi has always been accustomed to hearing in the morning. “y’see i’ve stumbled on a gift shop the other day and found a few souvenirs i’d think you’d like!”
you ramble on and on about your adventures around the country you’re visiting and nagi finds himself absorbing your voice, hanging on every word, and even nodding next to the phone like you’re right here in front of him.
suddenly, his heart feels so full and everything clicks into place again. it’s like his day never actually started until you appeared with all your mirth and energy. even on opposite sides of the earth, you’re still the sun to his moon.
“angel,” he murmurs as you’re in the middle of talking, and you’re silent after acknowledging his call, waiting on his words.
“come home soon. i miss you.”
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ISAGI YOICHI
this boy is a mess! he’s the kind of guy who as soon as those feelings start blooming in his chest, he gets super flustered around you all the time. and it’s obvious too.
before, he was super nonchalant with you. treated you like a friend, flirted without even knowing because he’s just that comfortable around you, but when any of his friends or family mention how the two seem closer than you realize, he just freezes and his mind goes blank. erupts in an embarrassing fit of sputtering and denial, face searing red down to the nape of his neck. it’s so cute.
however, he’s not fooling anybody! anyone can tell by the windblown expression on his face—starstruck eyes admiring you as a warm grin overtakes his features—that he’s absolutely smitten by you. he just needs to admit it already.
well, his next outing with you (in which he swears wasn’t actually a date, but c’mon isagi), finally gets him to come to terms with his emotions as he reminisces spending the whole day just laughing his heart out and being so full of that warmth and happiness you give him that makes him feel completely weightless. almost like he can do anything. afterward, when he gets home, he rushes upstairs and literally flails in his bed with the most insane blush on his cheeks. like wow, he’s in love with you.
isagi yoichi is in love with you.
but love to isagi is like a double-edged sword, especially to someone who just escaped that blue lock hellhole and now has to devote even more of his life to his soccer career.
with that carefree sensation comes a new box of trepidations that he’s afraid to open.
what if there comes a time when he would have to choose between you or soccer? he’s hoping that won’t ever be the case. he’d hate to struggle juggling the two and end up breaking your heart.
god, never in a million years does he want that.
the best he can do is take steps to introduce this side of his life to you. he does so in extravagant fashion, by inviting you to come watch him play during his championship game.
to say you were a little startled by his offer was an understatement, but you take him up on it, and promise you’ll be there, especially since isagi went out of his way to get you the best seats in the stadium.
on the day of his match, he’s more nervous about performing well in front of you rather than winning. winning is instinct for him so he has no doubts he’ll claim victory and take home the championship cup. he’s just eager to show you a new isagi you’ve never seen before, rather than the tongue-tied, flustered puppy isagi that’s been vying for your attention lately.
coming onto the field, his eyes are too busy swerving in the direction of where you’re seated than focus on his opponents. the moment he distinguishes your figure at the very front of the stands—draped in a jersey that reads his name—countless butterflies begin fluttering in his stomach. it’s a feeling that he can never truly convey into words.
all he does is let an elated grin spread wide on his lips, cheeks swathed in such a dainty shade of rose that has his teammates swatting the back of his head to remind him he has a very important game to win.
and oh does isagi win. during the match he scores four goals in quick succession, absolutely annihilating the other team to the point where it’s downright embarrassing for the opposing side. the commentators are completely baffled, questioning what has the player so stoked. little do they realize that each of those goals were all made in your name and isagi can’t wait to let you know that later with his championship cup in hand.
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ITOSHI SAE
sae is pretty accepting of this revelation. nothing really fazes him after all, and he recognizes that it was only a matter of time before he came to terms with the idea that he might be head over heels for you.
in fact, he takes those feelings in stride.
as if sae wasn’t already a gentleman before this, his mannerisms around you only intensify. he’s constantly holding the door open for you, pulling out your chair, giving you his jacket whenever you’re cold, and so on. you never have to lift a finger when you’re with him. it’s to the point where he’s even sweeping stray hairs off your face and tucking them behind your ear before you’re given a chance to realize they were bothering you in the first place. not a day goes by where he doesn’t place you on a pedestal and worship you in the best ways he knows how.
he’s also gotten very touchy and a tiny bit possessive (okay maybe more than a tiny bit). sae isn’t the type to initiate pda regularly, but whenever he feels threatened in any way—which is very rare but not impossible—he always has a hand on you. whether it’s on your lower back as he ushers you closer to him, or intertwining your fingers together before sending a cold, piercing glare over his shoulder at the offending party, he always makes his intentions with you known even if you yourself are oblivious of them.
it’s not like he’s controlling or obsessive either. he simply wants to make you feel special. to be frank, he’s setting such a high standard that no other man can compare to him.
on more than one occasion, he’s had to travel overseas for international business, and the first time he left the country for an extended period without you, he grew incredibly homesick. not because he particularly misses the normalcy of his life back in japan, but because it always feels a little empty, and frankly, boring without you by his side. he’s grown to appreciate the moments he shares with you, from the time he wakes up beside you to when he falls asleep while you’re in his arms.
after that, whenever he has to fly out of the country, he insists you tag along with him, and goes out of his way to pay for all your expenses—plane ticket, lodgings, everything. most of the time, you try turning down his offer, stating you don’t want to be a hindrance while he’s working. yet sae counters by saying it’ll be more trouble for him if you weren’t there with him than not, and who are you to object when he’s staring at you with such unwavering ocean eyes, looking as if you’re the whole world to him.
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KUNIGAMI RENSUKE
deep down, kunigami has always held you closely in his heart, regardless if he’s aware of the love he possesses behind it.
it’s natural for him to want to protect the people he cherishes, but with you, you activate something so visceral inside him. it scares him sometimes, how you can make his whole body rattle, blood pumping erratically to the point where all he can hear is the ringing in his ears and his heart thumping wildly out of his chest.
that’s especially the case when he receives a late night call from you while he’s settling himself at his apartment. he’s slightly surprised by the random call. you don’t normally reach out for him at this time since you’re either going to sleep or hanging out with friends in the dormant hours of the night.
accepting the call, he brings the phone to his ear.
“hello? y/n?”
“r-ren? u-um, can you please stay on the phone with me..?” you whisper in the receiver, tone quivering to a frightening degree. he hears the anxiety laced in your voice and suddenly sirens go off in his head.
“where are you?” he questions sternly as he instantly stands from his seat, reaching for his car keys.
“i just left a club and was going to walk to the station, but… s-someone’s–”
kunigami doesn’t need to hear anymore to understand the full picture that makes his bones quake for your safety as he dashes out the door.
“i’m coming to get you, so send me your location. until then, stay in an open area and don’t stop talking to me, okay?”
you affirm quietly before moving your phone from your ear to pin your location to him with trembling fingers. as you’re doing so, kunigami’s already started the ignition to his car, revving on the roads with little care of the law. he’s never driven this fast in his life, swearing he’s a defensive driver, but that means nothing to him when your safety is on the line right now.
if he grips his steering wheel any harder, it might just break off from his bare strength alone. a single glance at the map on his dash tells him he’s less than a minute away from your position. in the last stretch, he can finally spot your frightened silhouette under the dimly lit lamps.
as soon as you recognize the model of his vehicle, relief washes over your tense shoulders. you take it as your chance to escape your precarious situation, but the shady man a few meters away decides to attempt a last minute assault, dashing in your direction.
when the fiery-haired athlete sees this, his restraint all but snaps. he gets out of his car without even slamming his door shut and spontaneously reaches for you, pulling you behind his intimidating, brawny frame before punching the man square in the jaw. the assailant tumbles onto the hard ground, completely knocked out.
kunigami’s attention immediately turns to you, putting all his efforts into your well-being as he yanks you in his protective embrace. the adrenaline from both your bodies wears off and the striker can sense you bursting into tears against his chest.
“ren, i’m so sorry, i was out with friends and i thought it would okay for me to stay out later even though they wanted to leave, and-and–” your words collide with your jumbled thoughts, but the last thing kunigami wants is for you to apologize for this scumbag’s actions.
“shh, princess. it’s not your fault,” he whispers next to your ear, “fuck! if anything happened to you… i… i…” his voice breaks apart. his hold on you tightens just imagining if he was even a second late coming to your side. for now, he’s thankful to have you back safe and sound, tucking you closer to his heart.
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MIKAGE REO
when reo considers that what he was feeling might no longer be a crush, but rather actual love for you, he’s a bit doubtful. mostly because he’s approached countless girls with romantic intentions in mind, however, to his disappointment, he’ll discover that they’re mainly interested in his status instead of him as a person. his good looks and charisma are just a plus for them. therefore he’s very hesitant to fully act on these emotions, afraid to have his heart broken again.
however, he slowly starts accepting the notion that he might be wrong about you. it shows in the way you’re always asking about his life outside of him being an heir to a billion-dollar corporation. he’s stunned by how your features can glow with such intrigue whenever he speaks about his time in blue lock, leading to his journey to becoming a star player in the land of professional football. most girls he entertained would fake interest in this before quickly changing the subject.
eventually, they’ll throw themselves on him to garner his favor and try gaining access to his parents’ wealth. however, you seek greater value in sharing the same experiences with him. you take him out to watch movies, hangout at the most unique cafes, and have the time of your lives at amusement parks.
reo’s used to his dates borderline demanding him to drive them out for extensive shopping sprees or book them dinners to the most high-end restaurants in the city. it becomes exhausting when all his partner sees in him is a personal wallet for them to call on whenever they’re eyeing the newest luxury trends displayed on shop windows.
so to have a person like you by his side, who doesn’t determine his value on such materialistic facets is… refreshing… but also just as frightening because he’s afraid of losing such a precious person like you.
though it may be counterintuitive, reo means to return your kindness by spoiling you, thinking you’re someone who genuinely deserves to be dolled up and treated like royalty.
the first time reo swipes his card on a hefty purchase for you, you’re a little bit overwhelmed, going on to say he didn’t have to do all this. but the man is difficult to argue around, what with his suave words and charismatic demeanor that makes it hard for you to say no to the jewels and dresses he wants to adorn on your body.
then as if he couldn’t have pampered you anymore, he also brings up the offer for you move into his penthouse so you don’t have to worry about rent while making ends meet. of course, you bring up the case that you don’t want to rely on him for money—that you simply enjoy being with him—but reo counters with similar reasoning.
“c’mon doll, just let me do this for you,” he insists. “you’ve done so much for me already, and i just want to make sure you know how special you are to me.”
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copyright 2023 shotoh, all rights reserved. i do not allow my creations to be published or translated anywhere else so please do not repost this or share my content on tiktok.
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Text
Fuck or Die
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a peter parker sex pollen fic
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pairing: peter parker x reader
summary: peter comes into contact with sex pollen and his best friend wants to take away the pain
NO MINORS!!!!
not edited
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“stay the fuck away from me. please,”
it had been a week since you’d seen your best friend, peter. he’d been away on a mission, along with a few other avengers.
being the baby of the team, you definitely weren’t told everything. or anything really, if it didn’t directly affect you.
“just tell me what is going on!” you screamed at the quarantined boy, voice muffled through the thick glass.
peter was crying at this point, an all consuming burn firing through his veins, predominately the veins down low.
“sweetheart come with me. your not helping by screaming at him,” tony tried peeling you from the hall, but you stood your ground
“why does no one tell me what’s happening? when are you guys going to stop treating me like a baby, i’m 18 for fucks sake!” now peter wasn’t the only one crying.
out of the corner of your cloudy vision you could see his form cowering in the corner, convulsing almost.
“please! he’s my best friend. i deserve to know what’s going on!”
“it’s not about us keeping information from you. it’s just that this is… sensitive.” stark’s brow wrinkled, stress emanating from his form.
this time when he pulled you away, tou didn’t fight.
sensitive?
what could possibly be sensitive enough that you can’t know why your best friend looks like he’s about to die???
once in the lab, you and the iron man sit down.
“look kid, something happened on our mission,”
“yeah no shit,” if looks could kill, stark would’ve murdered you months ago. but probably gotten wanda to resurrect you so his steely gaze could kill you again now.
“i’m serious. parker was doing recon in one of fisk’s bases while we fought his men outside. he found a thing… some sort of explosive gas. when he picked one up for closer inspection it erupted.” tony looked apprehensive, almost waiting for an eruption of his own.
“ok. i’m just gonna say it. sex pollen. it was sex pollen. there’s no way around it. peter exploded a sex pollen bomb.”
the way your jaw unhinged looked inhumane. “WHAT?” you gaped. “like, that weird shit from fanfiction? like the weird shit that makes someone fuck or die? are we in the fucking omega verse right now???”
“i’m going to pretend i know what the omega verse is,” the man clears his throat, “but uh, kind of? he won’t die, but unless he… y’know.. he’ll just kind of be in an unimaginable state of pain for the next,” he checks his watch, “22 hours.”
it took a minute to process the aforementioned information. peter had been affected by sex pollen? you guessed that explained his need to be away from you. but imagining your poor peter in pain for almost another day?
“so why aren’t you doing anything? wait that came out wrong.”
this was probably the most awkard conversation you’d had with tony, even after he caught you “making out” with brad in senior year.
“i meant to say, what’s being done to help him? surely there’s something. i know it’ll pass but fuck, i can’t live with myself knowing pete’s in that room hurting.” you felt a pit of guilt lounging in your gut.
wait it was guilt right? why does your guilt feel like it’s… lower… than it should be.
were you seriously fucking TURNED ON from thinking about your best friend being so horny that it hurts? well, if you worded it like that, yeah.
“we offered him… services. not from us obviously. like, paid services. or anything he wants. but he refused. something about ‘respecting women’ yada yada yada.” stark jests, but you can see the fatherly worry seeping out.
with out another thought, you leave tony in the lab and spring back to parker’s quarantine unit.
“pete you need to accept help! look at yourself” he was worse for wear, even since you saw him 10 minutes ago
his suit was half off his body, which was dripping with sweat. and as much as you tried to ignore it, a large bulge had appeared through the fabric.
he could barely meet your eyes, his own bloodshot, hair matted to his forehead.
“you know i can’t. i can’t control my strength like this. i could hurt someone.” the spider cried out
“not me,” your eyes finally lock. “you can’t hurt me. you know that. we’ve trained together. i’m stronger than you.”
your powers may have made your life a living nightmare, but the strength was definitely a plus. you had sparred countless times, and not once had he hurt you. or beat you for that matter.
“i- i can’t” his voice broke as his body convulsed once more, ungloved hands going to cover his dick.
“if you want to, you can. I’m here pete. I don’t want to see you like this. And i don’t want you to worry about all your moral shit. your not taking advantage of me. your not going to hurt me. i want this. i want to help you, if that’s what you want.”
silence. a few beats go by, before a small “please” meets your ears.
in a blink of an eye you slide your hand over the sensor, unlocking the door to his cell.
your heart broke to a million pieces seeing the broken boy. if you didn’t know better you would have assumed he was succumbing to a deathly injury.
“curtains. there’s curtains.” he gestures to blue hospital curtains that have the potential to cover the glass wall between them and the hall way.
as you pull the curtain, the last thing you see is a worried/disgusted/embarrassed tony. poor guy. knowing his ‘son’ and new recruit were about to get it on.
“FRIDAY, lock down and sound proof the floor once i get in the elevator.” tony yelled, mumbling something about ‘for the good of mankind’.
you drop to your knees next to peters warm frame. the restraint he used to not fuck you right there looked painful.
“If you want this, I want this. I would do anything for you spidey. even if it means fucking my best friend into oblivion,” you say to him, a strained chuckle leaving his chest.
“i won’t be able to stop. i would rather go through this a hundred times then hurt you or screw up our friendship.”
“you won’t. i can handle it. please fuck me pete.”
he turns to a rabid animal with the speed he meshes your lips. the carnal devouring of your face dials up your arousal, and he can smell it.
“wow. you’re fucking sick. getting turned on by your best friend in pain,” he mumbled into your neck, trailing teeth and tongue down your décolletage.
you couldn’t even form a response, to focused on the way his bear chest felt under your fingers, and the way his boner grinded into your crotch.
practised hands pop open the buttons of your shirt, and i clasp the bra you donned. thank god you wore a nice one today.
“mmm pretty bra. planning on fucking brad later?” the boy teased.
“only you. always you.” you grinded harder onto his cock, frustrated at the layers separating you.
“fuck i’ve always dreamt of fucking you. fucking you so good. so so good” a piercing cry leaves your lips as he bites your nipple, kissing it better after.
his tongue was magic, working its way all over your chest. he groped and grasped your breast, alternating one in his mouth, one in his mouth.
even with all his talk, you could see his facade fading.
“peter just fuck me. i know you need it.”
“but what about yo-“
“pete i’m soaked. i’m fine. i just want to make you feel better.” with this, he lets you take charge. he (attempts) to rip his suit off while you pull down your sweats, and eventually a lacy pair of panties.
a guttural groan leaves his lips when he sees the glistening mound before him, he goes to put his mouth forward, but you stop him, kneeling over his lap despite his whine.
“i told you. this is about you. making you feel better.” you laughed at his pathetic attempt at removing the sweat soaked suit.
you pull it down just enough to reveal his angry member. it was thicker than you were used to, longer as well, and a small wave of fear rolled through your stomach.
his dick was red, twitching and leaking. you could practically feel his pain just by looking at it.
he hissed when you slid him up your slit, soaking it with your juices.
“i’m sorry,” he whispered as he slammed your hips down onto him. the scream you let out would definitely surpass stark’s soundproofing.
tears stream down his face at the relief of your silk pussy embarrassing his dick. but he didn’t have long to revel in the comfort. he continued to slam into you with a brutal pace. the erotic wet sounds were enough to put porn to shame.
both of your faces contorted with the pleasure.
“fuck spider you’re fucking me so good. i wanna make you come. want your cum to fill my pussy so good.” his pace was so bruising that his groin pounded into your clit with every thrust.
you couldn’t warn him of the imminent coil about to burst as you gushed around his erection. no noise came out of your mouth except for the unholy moans and expletives.
something you never expected about pete, was his vocalness in bed. god, you would be imagining his noises for weeks to come, hand between your legs.
he was louder than you, which you didn’t think possible, though none of it was legible. his broken words were drowned out by his heavenly moans. with every thrust there came a new ‘ugh’, ‘ngugh’, and ‘fuhhh’.
and god did it get you going.
just listening to his groans had you verging on another orgasm. and he wasn’t too far behind.
peter kept repeating the words “soon” and “close”.
“god pete your so hot. so good to me. fucking me so good. please come baby. i want your cum to fill me up so good. need it baby. need your cum.” you slammed your hips down to meet his every movement, chasing the fast approaching high.
“i’m coming. coming. gonna come,” and with the most dirty, unholy, erotic noise ever made before, peter came.
you could feel the warm seed filling your cunt as you reached your peak, fucking his cum deeper into your cavity.
peter collapsed almost immediately, chest heaving as he sprawled onto the cold foor. you followed in suit, falling flat onto his chest, dick still sheathed inside.
it was deadly silent for at least 5 minutes, and you were sure he had fallen asleep until you head him say “i didn’t hurt you did i?” he lifted your body up, allowing his softened member to leave your body.
“i told you i could handle it, and i did.” you looked up to meet his tired eyes “you didn’t hurt me pete. and even if you had it would have been worth it. how are you feeling now?”
you brushed some hair out of his face, his soft breath brushing against yours. “god i feel so much better. i’m forever indebted to you. that hurt like a bitch.” he chuckled and closed his eyes. “seriously though, thank you. i don’t know what i did to deserve a friend like you.” he wrapped his strong arms around your waist, both of you choosing to ignore the bear skin and leaking fluids pouring you of your pussy.
he whined when you got up, and for a second you thought he would pull you back down. you entered the joined bathroom to get towels.
with gentle hands you soaked up the sticky substances residing over parker’s stomach “i think you’re gonna need this dry cleaned.” you mention, staring at the very stained suit.
he jerked when you gently wiped his cock, but relaxed into your touch nonetheless.
“i think we permanently traumatised mr stark,” peter chortled as he pulled your now clean body into the folding cot that lay in the room.
you giggled with him “yeah, i’m pretty sure even with the soundproofing the entire tower could hear you.” you smirked
the boy turned beet red, and nestled his face into yours, “hey! it wasn’t just me!”
the two of you spent the rest of the night on the small bed, neither with the strength to leave the room.
peter fell asleep first, but you stayed up a little to ponder the future of your friendship after today. however confused you may be, one thing was definitely sure.
there was no way you weren’t fucking peter parker again
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paigestrap · 10 days
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i need you.
paige bueckers x fem!reader
warnings? not beta read we die like men, smut (minors dni), angst and fluff
summary - you and paige are friends until you aren’t 🤭🤭
enjoy!!! (please?) even if u don’t pls don’t tell me i’m sensitive.
you couldnt identify the point at which your friendship with paige grew into something more. meeting her in one of your soc classes when she showed up late and sat next to you, you two became friends almost instantly.
you knew who she was of course, had gone to many of the uconn women’s basketball game. and you would never tell her, but you were definitely a fan from the start, her game and personality being a major draw, and maybe also the fact that she was beautiful, like really really beautiful (a fact you would also never tell her).
you two started hanging out pretty much everyday, whether you were doing work, going out to eat, or hanging out with her and the rest of the team at a bar after games, the two of you had become quite comfortable in each others company.
but one day, things started to change. when your shoulders would touch watching your favorite show with her next to you, it sent electricity throughout your entire body, you felt yourself looking forward to the times when your hand would brush hers while walking side by side with her to class, your mood would lighten when she would text you to hangout or simply tell you about her day, and the time you spent together felt more and more intimate as your fondness for the blonde grew.
sometimes, it felt like paige was feeling the same thing you were. her eyes would linger for longer than you felt a friend’s eyes should, her touches felt more intentional, her compliments more frequent, and her words gentler. there were times when you both were alone where it seemed like the two of you were so close to crossing that line. like the first time she asked you to spend the night, and you woke up the next morning in her arms. or when she asked you to wear her jersey to her game the next day, and of course you obliged. she asked you afterwards if you would wear her jersey for every one, justifying her request by saying you’re her “good luck charm” and of course her good luck charm needs to rep her jersey, and of course, you obliged. when you were out with her at the bar and the two of you had been drinking she would constantly be touching you, hugging you, and telling you how much you meant to her. you couldn’t tell if this was paige being paige, or if she was truthful in her words and actions.
these moments were always left unspoken, as neither you nor her felt confident enough to ever cross that line. but your heart yearned for her. her touch, her voice, her laugh, her beautiful mind. and it was getting harder and harder everyday to hide your feelings.
now, with her returning to campus after the uconn women’s basketball team lost to iowa in the final four, you feel those inhibitions being lifted. your phone screen lit up as her contact appeared on your lock screen.
p: need u rn. can u come over?
you: of course, i’m on my way
as you walk out of your apartment to make your way to your friend you realize now the extent to which you feel for her and you want nothing more than to hold her in your arms and comfort her.
“hey,” she says, opening the door for you, her face betraying her overwhelming grief. you don’t say anything, you just pull her into a hug as she lets out her first of many tears.
“i know. i’m so sorry paige. you deserved the win, you all did” you say, comforting her while also holding back tears of your own.
“can we go to my room, just wanna be with you right now,” her tear stained eyes meet yours, and your heart swells at the urge to kiss her tears away.
“of course, i’m here for whatever you need, always” you say, grabbing her hand as the two of you make your way towards her room.
“i wish you’d been there, missed you so much it’s crazy,” she admits as you both lay down side by side in her bed. her eyes never breaking away from yours.
“i missed you too paige, im so sorry i couldn’t be there for you. i hope you know how much i wish i could’ve” you pull her into your arms and embrace her as her tears begin to fall again.
“i think,” she starts, but stops herself and pauses for a long time. you are about to ask her about it before she continues, “i think i realized something about myself this weekend”
another pause. your heart beats faster, you curse yourself knowing paige could feel it too. “what’s that,” your voice is barely audible as you struggle to get the words out.
“i need you, like i really really need you. ever since i met you i just wanna be by you all the time. when we lost i just wanted you to be there and,” she propped herself up to look at you before pulling you in to a tight embrace “i’m scared that you don’t need me too” her voice breaks at the end, shattering any hope of disguising her emotions.
“oh paige, you have no idea,” you say, feeling yourself breaking at her words. you pull away from her embrace and stare into her eyes, searching for a reason not to let your walls fall. you don’t see one, “i need you like i need oxygen to breathe. the world feels muffled when you’re not next to me, i admire everything about you and i’ve never felt this way about another person before. i’ve been so scared these past few weeks that i’ll lose you if you find out how much i want you, but i can’t go on pretending i think of you as my friend when you are so much more than that.” there it is. there’s no going back now. your eyes move away from hers as you await her response.
“baby,” she whispers, hand moving to caress your cheek as she gently pulls your face in her direction, “you’ll never lose me,”
suddenly, the space between you feels so small, and in a swift motion she closes the gap between you and kisses you. the world around you begins to spin as all of your senses become heightened. you feel yourself kiss back, not too hard, not too soft, and suddenly the emotions brimming for the past months come flooding to you all at once.
her hands meet your waist as she shifts her weight to be positioned on top of you, your legs opening as she places herself in between them, never breaking your kiss.
she eventually breaks it to look down on you, a million emotions displayed on her face. she reconnects your lips with hers and you feel yourself giving in completely, desire for the blonde blooming as her kisses grow hungrier. “i want you so bad” she says breathlessly in between kisses. her tongue grazes your bottom lip, requesting entrance, and as with all of her requests, you oblige.
“please, paige,” you let out, suppressing the moans threatening to slip out as her tongue explores your mouth. you tug on her shirt, needing to feel her body closer. she takes it off and removes your shirt as well. leaving you in only your bra on top. she smiles as she looks at your now exposed body.
“god, your tits are fucking amazing,” she remarks, staring at them lustfully. you blush, suddenly feeling so exposed. her hands reach your back as she unclasps the final layer, removing your bra and revealing your bare chest. she fondles your tits and the sudden touch elicits a moan you didn’t have the restraint to hold back. her hands feel so good, and you desperately need them somewhere else, “i wanna fuck you so bad babe”
“god paige please i need you so badly” you whine, so far gone at this point to even try to hide your burning desire.
“yeah?” she grins, biting her lip and licking her lips, “where do you need me, my sweet girl, show me”
you pull yourself up and remove your bottoms, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. you grow increasingly aware of how wet you are, and embarrassed at how obvious it is. her hands roam your body and she grips both of your thighs, her gaze lowering to your heat. “you’re so wet, all because of me?” she asks like she doesn’t know the answer and lets her finger graze over your clothed pussy. you moan as she touches your clit, grinding your hips desperate for more. “so needy baby, i’m gonna take these off now alright?” you nod as she removes your panties, leaving you completely exposed and at her expense.
her hand meets your bare pussy, rubbing in between your folds and onto your clit, eliciting a loud moan from you as your body reacts to her touch. you move your head to the side and close your eyes, letting the pleasure take over. but you are quickly brought back to reality when she stops touching you and takes your face into her hand, bringing it back to face her, “i want you to look at me when i fuck you, do you understand baby?” she plants a kiss on your lips and you nod in response, unable to say a thing.
her fingers move back towards your heat and she slides one into you, “how’s that sweet girl, does that feel good?”
“yes. please. more.” you whine, your body burning at her touch, desperately needing more.
“oh yeah?” she teased as she slipped another finger in you, slowly pumping them in and out of you, curling them so she could feel them stretching against your walls.
you were done for. your body twisting and rutting against her, only causing her to quicken her pace inside you, never breaking your gaze for a second. “god you’re so fucking gorgeous like this, all mine”
your senses overloaded by her hungry words and quickening pace, you felt yourself nearing your climax “paige, please don’t stop. i’m so close” you beg, causing her to fuck you harder and faster.
“yeah? come for me baby, you’ve done so well, my pretty girl,” that was all it took to force you over the edge. you come hard, screaming out her name as the pleasure enveloped your entire body. she fucks you through your orgasm, whispering in your ear the entire time telling you how pretty you look and how good you are.
the wave of pleasure subsiding and your senses gradual coming back to you, she slides her fingers out of you, licking your wetness off of them and falling back onto your smaller figure.
“holy shit” you breathe out, panting. suddenly feeling very sleepy.
“yeah, holy shit.” she laughs, “you’re so fucking hot, you know that?” you blush at her compliment, burying your face in her chest.
“do you still think i don’t need you?” you ask, looking up at her with a shy smile. she grins, giving you a sweet kiss and looking at you with so much endearment it makes your heart swell.
“no, i’m pretty sure you made yourself clear” she laughs, pulling you closer.
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"It takes HOW LONG?" Black Hair is an Art (pt.2)
(This is part two of the hair lessons, focusing on writing/narratives. If you want to know how the styles LOOK, refer to part 1 and its addendum)
Now that you know what our hair actually looks like, we’re going to discuss incorporating that into your writing (original fic, fanfic, webcomics, anything with a narrative). You don’t HAVE to give us a dissertation on "how you studied 'The Black People’s Hair'" in your story. That’s not what I’m asking you to do. I’m just asking you to CONSIDER the effort and existence of it. The same way you put effort into discussing nonblack hair textures? Should be the sort of tenderness and care you put into discussing ours. It does not stand to reason that I have read thousands of stories describing "the silky, black/blonde tresses/waves that fell down their pale back as their lover ran their fingers through them", but Black readers have nothing of the sort to compare to without seeking our own authors out. Our hair deserves some loving and adoration too!
This is a very long post describing hairstyles and how they can correspond to your character's design and decisions, so I'll put a read more here. The sections are organized into 'Twist Out', 'Afros', 'Locs', 'Braids', 'Black Men', and 'Straight Hair' if you Ctrl F. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take your time to read all of this at some point though, as I put a lot of resources and explanation into this. I'm trusting you!
The History
As I discussed in the last lesson, our hair is incredibly important to us, and part of that includes the vulnerability and trust that comes along with access to it. This is due to a long history of oppression. There’s a racist history of making Black women hide our hair, as if it would ‘tempt white men’ away, regardless of it were due to actual attraction or the (more likely) rape of Black women. There’s a racist history of touching our hair, as though we are animals or zoo exhibits. We aren’t just going to let anyone touch our heads, so DON'T write that, unless you are doing so to show that it is a microaggression towards your character. Even now, cultural appropriation is rampant. If I were to wear cornrows with hoops, it'd be seen as 'ghetto' or 'gang-like'. Meanwhile, it is a fashion statement for white women. When Miles G Morales showed up in Across the Spiderverse, animators specifically chose cornrows for him, but many people mistakenly took it to me that he was 'rougher and tougher' than the original Miles. This was a racist perception! Hearing the Fade get hyped up in the news as the 'Travis Kelce', when Black men and especially NFL players have been wearing it for DECADES to crickets... it hurts lmao. Point is, you can describe and respect Black hair without being racist about it. Okay? Okay.
Vulnerability
YOUR CHARACTERS NEED TO BE CLOSE BEFORE ALLOWING THEM TO TOUCH THEIR HAIR!!!
It needs to be someone they TRUST wholeheartedly. Again, do NOT let a stranger touch their hair unless it’s meant to be an uncomfortable situation!
Consider CONSENT! Consent is ALWAYS beautiful! Have your other characters (Black or not) ASK to touch your Black characters’ hair! And not in the ‘Oh can I touch it?’ way. But if they’re really close friends or dating, have them ask to help do their braids, or wash their hair, or even just to stroke their hair and face! Or if your Black character is injured with a head wound, and they have to tend to them, have them ask! The asking shows a level of care and respect for your Black character and their body! At any point the consent may be revoked, and that needs to be respected! If they let them tend their head wound, but then smack their hand away after, that’s not ‘rude’- they’re allowed to do that, especially to signify that they aren’t at that level of trust yet. That's still angsty!
One great example of love from a Black character is doing their partner’s hair, or allowing their partner to do their hair. The ‘Hair-washing’ fic is a common thing in fanfiction; we all understand how that shows the depth of the trust in the relationship between the characters. How would you write about that trust with a Black character, if you don’t know what goes into taking care of their hair? If you don’t even know what their hair looks or feels like? The lack of awareness will show, and what should be a beautiful, deep moment will fall flat for Black readers. I wrote one once for my character with locs, and it honestly made me tear up because I realized that I’d never seen one, at least not in the majority white spaces that the fandoms I was in were.
Think about it- how often have you read a hair-washing fic with a Black character? Was it accurate? Would you know if it was accurate? Have you spoken to or heard anyone Black in your fandom space talk about it? Do you know anyone Black in your fandom space to ask? It’s things like this that we have to consider!
If you have a character that is nonblack in a relationship with your Black character, that honestly reveals even more trust because there’s a long history (again) behind that NOT happening! In life, we can’t go to the same places. I can’t go to a white hair salon or barbershop. They won’t know what to do! People are allowed to go through hair school without learning how to work with different, thicker textures. It’s not right nor fair, but it’s a part of the casual, systemic racism in our lives.
My feelings on what Lestat symbolizes aside, the scene where he plays with Louis’ curls in AMC's IWTV was an intelligent way to show that closeness, and how a nonblack character would affectionately play with a Black character’s hair! How he works with the curl in his fingers, rather than trying to pet Louis or run his fingers through- it was an intelligent move on Sam and Jacob’s part as actors to understand that THAT’S how that would go down!
If you have a character that wants to show a violation of your Black characters’ space, touching/harming our hair is cruelty on a very personal level that will generate an extreme reaction.
Think About Your Character!
When thinking about your Black character’s hairstyle, you need to think about your character themselves! What do they do every day? What are their hobbies? Are they Type A, Type B personality? Do they have a lot of time? Are they always in a rush? Are they noncommittal? Are they self-conscious? Artsy? Serious? Are they in a time period where the means to care for their hair are limited?
People make jokes and comments about how Black women don’t like getting our hair wet and dismiss our concerns. But it’s not out of ‘silliness’ or vanity. What you consider ‘just hair’ may have taken days of planning in advance and HOURS of our time! We put a lot of thought and effort into our hair, and it will easily shatter the illusion for your Black readers if you describe our hair poorly or create an unlikely scenario with it. It’s not a joke!
Some Terms:
Protective styles- a style that allows our hair to ‘rest’ with minimal manipulation
‘Tender-headed’- some people’s scalps are more sensitive to the tightness of styles, so it’ll hurt a little bit more and require some more gentleness (Regardless it’s still going to hurt for a bit after a fresh style)
Bonnets- a silk/satin cap of varying lengths that we wear at night to protect our hair and keep the moisture in
Loc Sock- same idea, but for locs
Durag- keeps short haircuts protected; can even help create the wave pattern that many Black men enjoy
Scarf- same idea as the bonnets, except scarfs can be used specifically for straight hairstyles to wrap them up to keep it straight and neat
(It'll seem real legit if you include your Black characters wearing their headcoverings at night! I remember laughing while reading Twilight because I knew that if Edward snuck into my room at night, he'd see me in my scarf or bonnet lmao.)
General Hair Care:
While I don’t completely agree with some of the advertising in this first one (it’s the internet. Can’t go nowhere without someone trying to hawk something) it’s cool in general to explain how our hair looks the way it does.
If you have Black children OCs, it’s important to consider that their parents have to do their hair, and how that will be its own experience! (It can be very stressful for Black children to get their hair done, as it takes a long time and can be physically uncomfortable. There are plenty of stories of burnt ears and tugged tangles and not very nice old women. Children are children! Keep in mind how they may behave while getting the style of your choice.
Moisturizing to keep healthy
Twist Outs
Cute twist out styles
Twist outs are a style that takes overnight to hold, or maybe even a few days! The cool thing is that the twists themselves can be the style! So the tighter you want their curls to be, the longer they’ll wear the twists in. If you want to describe your character with tighter curls, there needs to be a section of time where their hair remains in the twists! If your character has an event, and they want twists… this needs to be done in advance. Your character will NOT untwist them the day of, unless they want weak, limp curls (or you want the scene to compose of them having weak curls).
How long they'll last depends on the activity of your character! If all they do is work a desk job, or they don’t sweat very much, the twists can last some time! But if they sweat, or wear hats or caps, it’s not going to last long. Maybe a week.
Pros: Very versatile! If you have a character that loves trying new looks and enjoy being spontaneous, twist outs are for them! Easy! If your Black character is younger, or haven’t done their hair before, this is a great way for them to start working with their hair! Doesn’t take long (to do)! If your character is in a rush, and they do their twists, they can go just about anywhere. If they’re not self-conscious, this will be just fine.
Cons: It cannot get wet again, or the style will puff up back into your natural texture. It does not last long enough to say “oh my character went on a two year long fantasy adventure with this style.” If you want your character to have a twist out the whole time, they’re going to have to take time to do it. It would be cool if you incorporate a scene where they’re working on their hair, maybe in the background while everyone’s discussing plans or something. Just a reminder that their hair isn’t just staying magically twisted (unless they have the magic to do that).
Afros
Afro Style Guide, Style Guide for Men (works for any gender though)
Wash & Gos are just that- wash it (or really, condition it, you don’t have to shampoo it every time) dry with a t-shirt (to prevent breakage), put some oil and a light crème on it, fluff it up and you’re good to go! Maybe an hour at max and can be done while getting dressed in the morning!
Pros: Easy! If they’re doing a full, combed out afro, it’s not as simple, it will take more time. And at night it has to be plaited so that it maintains its length, otherwise it will tangle. But other than that, that’s still not all that hard. They can show off their curls! Black characters can and should have pride in their hair. It’s beautiful. This is the opportunity that you as an author can describe the pure texture of their hair, how it shines in the light, how the coils look, how soft it is! Romanticize Black hair the same way you do anyone else’s!
Cons: None really! Afros are wonderful! Just make sure that your character has a way to keep their hair from getting tangled. Just because it’s easy doesn’t mean there’s no maintenance! A pick, a bonnet, oil and water go a long way!
Locs
Five stages of locs
A person who does locs is a loctician.
Can be palm-rolled or interlocked/crocheted
I cannot emphasize enough that you do not want just anyone doing their locs! They can really mess up someone’s hair if they don’t know what they’re doing. I say that to say, for your character, if they don’t trust the person doing their hair… they should. They should not be walking into anyone’s place to get their hair locked; they’d do research first.
The time it takes locs to ‘bud’ (that is, to actually form the loc) depends on the texture of their hair. But it can take up to 3 months to even a year for them to actually ‘loc up’. So if your character just got locs, they’re not going to look neat. They’re going to be frizzy.
As long as they’re washing their hair, keeping it moisturized, and not using wax products (DO NOT HAVE ANY BLACK CHARACTER USE WAX PRODUCTS IT IS BAD FOR BLACK HAIR) it’ll last forever! Locs are incredibly strong, especially the thicker they get! It is recommended that locs are retwisted every six weeks, but if your character has freeform locs, doesn’t have the money or time right now, or they just aren’t that pressed, they can grow indefinitely.
Something cute to write in your stories: sometimes locs do just… fall out. Not the whole thing! But the same way thin hair gets everywhere… sometimes the ends of thin locs just… fall off! You’ll find little buds on the ground. This happens especially in the budding stage.
Pros: Very low daily maintenance! At most they’ll need a bonnet or loc sock, and oil/water mix to spritz and massage in. Strong style that can hold any look- buns, curls, etc. They can be dyed, though it will take a long time to do so. I say that to say, if you want your character to have bright green locs, go for it!!
Cons: Low daily, but HIGH wash day maintenance! So if your character has a fancy date or something to go on, they should not be getting their hair retwisted the same day, or at least not so close to. It’s going to be shiny, oily, and tight, which can cause discomfort. Give them the day to let the hair settle!
Locs are PERMANENT!! This isn’t a bad thing, as much as it is a ‘KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING BEFORE YOU DO IT’ thing. Technically they can be combed out, but that would take a very long time and very precise effort, and most people aren’t going through all that. They’re just going to cut them off and start fresh. If you have a character that would balk at such a choice, locs aren’t for them. If you have a character that’s picky and choosy, that likes versatility, that can’t make up their mind, do NOT give them locs unless they’re making the conscious choice to commit. (Again, this is subjective! Maybe they have locs because their mother died and it reminds them of her! Okay! That works!) If you have a character that’s vain, or at least doesn���t like looking awkward… unless they’re going to style up the awkward stage, they’re not going to want locs. (Awkward stage: the first two stages get considered awkward because the locs look messy. This is because they’re turning from curls to locs!)
Braids
Styles
How long braids can take depend on the style. Box braids can take 10-12 hours to do! Microbraids? You HAVE to have multiple people or you'll be there for damn near a day (and that's assuming you have a masterful braider!)
How long they last depend on your character! If they're like me as a kid, I didn't care how I looked, so my mom got me cheap braids and let me run free for two summer months. So if your Black character is a carefree child! Go for it. But if they're a teen or adult (or are very concerned about how they look) a month to six weeks is about how long braids can stay in before your new growth shows. A character that is usually trimmed and proper having loads of new growth over their braids may symbolize that they don’t have it all together anymore.
Pros: Protective style! Great way to let your character have minimal daily maintenance; oil and water and something to cover it. SOME braided styles allow for high activity and even rain without changing. It depends on the hair that’s been braided in, as well as the style. Incredibly versatile! They can have multi-colored braids, long braids, short braids, beads, trinkets… if your character is creative and bubbly and likes to experiment, the sky is the limit! That can symbolize their artistic expression, just by describing what they look like! So long as they have the time, they can have any look and style they want. No need to commit too long.
If your character is capable of doing their own braids (and locs, btw), they’re amazing. Like… that’s mad respect for them. If you describe your character being able to do their own braids, they’ve got amazing arm strength, patience, and skill. That skilled dexterity can be revealed as a trait of theirs through that alone.
Cons: They take a LONG TIME. Your character is not going anywhere. If they’re getting braids… they’re not going anywhere. If you write your character doing anything fancy the day of, depending on the type of braids, Black readers are not going to believe you. Even if it did get finished, it would be very tight. I currently have a poll going on, and so far, a good majority of the 10+ answers are braids! It cost MONEY. It is NOT CHEAP to get braids done! If your character is poor as a church mouse, they will be doing those braids with their friend in front of youtube. Because it can be in the hundreds of dollars. (Don’t get me started on hair culture right now; BACK IN MY DAY IT COST-)
Hairstyles on Black Men
I want to specifically give space and applause to these hairstyles on Black men, because we REALLY don’t give Black men enough credit for all the creativity they show with their hair! And again, with The Killmonger being the choice style in all these damn vidya games despite almost no Black man I know choosing it as a look… PLEASE LOOK! WE HAVE OPTIONS! Try describing how gorgeous these looks can be on your Black men characters! It would be very nice.
Straight Hair
Well, I was going to explain, but ol ‘Guest Writer’ here pretty much lays it all out! So just go ahead and read this article lol.
Just to re-emphasize, straight hair is NOT something that just grows out of our head that way! It takes effort! So if you have a character that doesn’t feel like maintaining straight hair, they shouldn’t have it! If your character has natural hair and lives in a rainy or humid city, they’re going to be fighting that weather to keep it straight- make sure that’s consistent with their personality!
My best friend used to wash and flatiron her hair every day. Like, laser focused on looking that good, Type A shit (she’s a top money banker now, so I guess it worked out). If you have a character like that, it’s fine! If they’re lazy any other time of the day, they’re not suddenly going to be waking up at 5am to flat iron their hair. It’s not consistent.
Conclusion
That’s pretty much what I have! I’m not the guru on all things Black hair, and I obviously cannot encompass every potential scenario you may have for your characters. Really, my intention here is to get you to think about how our hair reflects our character and personalities, and how when you write and/or draw a Black character, you have that ability! And when you’re able to incorporate that naturally, it makes your Black readers feel seen, like you actually cared about that character enough to give them just as much description as your nonblack characters. You don’t have to be a master at it! Just… occasionally the little things that we can go ‘oh, yeah!’ at would be nice. An equivalent effort would be nice.
Remember, it’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
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xxsabitoxx · 10 months
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My Personal Upper Moon 🍆 Ranking
Warnings: if it isn’t obvious already, this post is taking about the Upper Moon’s and my personal HC on their dick sizes. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, just keep scrolling
A/N: I was actually very surprised by the amount of comments on my Hashira version of this HC post. So I feel a little more comfortable with giving the Upper Moons a go, especially since someone asked if I would do it eheheh. That being said, these men are demons, therefore you may find my size rankings to be a bit unrealistic. But I’m not gonna go crazy and say Muzan has a dick that’s 2 miles long.
This post includes: Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu’s clones (Karaku, Urogi, Sekido and Aizetsu), Gyutaro and Kaigaku. And no Gyokko cause that man doesn’t have a dick, period.
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In a category of his own: Muzan Kibutsuji
Muzan clearly deserves a category of his own for one particular reason: he’s able to alter his appearance.
Therefore, he’s able to change the size of his dick whenever the fuck he feels like it.
And don’t try and say that stupid cause he can literally change gender and age so changing his dick size isn’t out of the question
On average, Muzan prefers to have a larger dick, mostly because he’s a pussy ass bitch man that needs that kind of confidence down there, if you get what I mean.
Typically soft: 10.5
Typically hard: 11.7
But he can make it as big, small, curved, wide, as he wants
When he wants to torture your ass, he’ll make himself as girthy as he sees fit just to watch you cry and squirm and beg for something a little smaller.
Anytime you get “comfortable” he just increases his girth until you’re crying again. Your pleasure is never his first priority, it’s always his.
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1. Kokushibo
Among the demons, it should be no shock that Upper Moon One has always been packing. This man is petrifying so it’s only right that his dick is equally as intimidating as him
Even as a human, this man’s dick was deadly. You can’t change my mind either.
Just in case you’re wondering, Yoriichi is bigger
That’s beside the point, Kokushibo has a lot to work with down there. Whether it’s hard or soft ngl
When soft: 9.5
When hard: 10.7
He’s long, girthy and curves slightly upwards. He’s heavy too, your jaw will certainly hurt by the time you’re done with him.
He’s the type to put a pillow or blanket of some sort under your lower back as he fucks you. Mostly because he’s not clueless to the fact that his dick is big
Kokushibo is the type to ease you into it though, he’s stern but he has a teeny bit of empathy when it comes to fucking you. Unless you’ve pissed him off ofc.
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2. Akaza
I know this one is gonna be controversial, especially since I’m putting him above Douma but hear me out.
This man has audacity, which means he got a big dick. No demon is acting like Akaza and having a small dick to go with it. Nuh uh, no sir.
Akaza is sitting pretty knowing damn well his cock is bigger than Douma’s and it actually something Douma taunts him with… which you think the roles would be reversed but hey…
When soft: 8.5
When hard: 9.7
He’s straight, no real curve to him and he has a single blue line going up the underside of his shaft and one that wraps around just before the head of his dick. Like as in the lines that cover his body lol
Akaza is probably the “gentlest” of all the upper moons because of the respect he has for women
That’s not to say he isn’t rough with you, but he definitely cares about your pleasure and feelings more than Douma or Muzan would for example
He’s pretty confident in himself though, at least that’s how it seems to you. He knows what he’s doing to say the least
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3. Douma
Alright listen, this man is still packing down there so don’t get mad at me for putting him at third.
His dick is smaller than Akaza’s but not by a ton. Let’s be honest Douma is probably the straightest and gayest demon to ever exist. The embodiment of bisexual LMAO
How does Douma know Akaza’s dick is bigger? The world may never know
When soft: 8
When hard: 9.2
It’s pale like the rest of him, a pretty noticeable curve to it as well. He has some prominent veins because of how pale he is. His tip is like a pinkish gray (idk why I felt the need to include this)
He’s pretty girthy too, so he definitely will make your walls stretch uncomfortably if he doesn’t offer you foreplay
Douma is rough, selfish and truly only cares about his own pleasure but he likes watching you whine and squirm while being impaled on his cock
Douma also has a thing for “belly bulges” so he will fuck you in some odd positions if he means he can see his dick from the outside… if ya know what I mean
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4. Gyutaro
Listen, plz just listen cause I promise you I’m going somewhere with this. Cause I can already hear y’all being like ???Scrawny ass Gyutaro is in 4th??? Yes. He is.
Gyutaro got himself a bit of an upgrade when becoming a demon. He for sure does not look like he did a a human. By that I mean he’s taller than he was (even tho he’s hunched)
What I’m tryna get at is demon transformation made his dick bigger and Imma live in my little fantasy world
When soft: 6.5
When hard: 7.2
Gyutaro’s dick is as curved as his spine and as thick as his tiny ass waist. He’s got length but not crazy girth.
Even if he’s rough, it feels good. Like there isn’t a ton of discomfort if he goes in raw with no prep cause he wants to punish you, he’s like the perfect amount of stretch
He’s mean, verbally and physically but at the same time he’s a fucking sucker for your body so he can’t really say much without whining and groaning
He’s got some confidence in his cock but he’s also a bit envious of the other upper moons
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5. The Hantengu Clones (Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu, Urogi)
I’ve talked about my dick HCs for these four in my A-Z NSFW alphabet and I was tryna be realistic. However, when it comes to this post, fuck being realistic.
Sekido when soft 6.2 | when hard 7.1
Karaku when soft 6 | when hard 6.9
Urogi when soft 5.9 | when hard 6.7
Aizetsu when soft 5.7 | when hard 6.5
There is so much to say here but honestly my brain is malfunctioning so I can’t even delve into it
Regardless, the four of these demons fuck very differently and use their dicks very differently
Sekido and Urogi have no curve, Karaku has a slight curve and Aizetsu’s curves upwards
Hantengu himself had a 3 inch dick and you can’t tell me otherwise. Pussy ass bitch
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6. Kaigaku
I hate this little bitch but I’m including him so I can rag on his fugly ass. Kaigaku simps I’m sorry but I can’t stand him
This douche has the smallest dick among the upper moons. This is full Kaigaku slander.
When soft: 5.2
When hard: 6
I’ll give him a decent dick tho cause boy does he have the fucking audacity
That’s all I’m gonna give y’all cause I ain’t wasting my time on him GOOD BYE I didn’t even tag is ass
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dreadsuitsamus · 2 months
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i'm waiting for my state inspection and this mom is here with her baby and the baby is so cuuuuuuute, the noisy lil thing. and now i'm imagining single parent nanami in a similar scenario with baby yuji, and reader being the only other person in the waiting lounge.
kento gently shushes the boy in his arms, the little thing quickly growing into a ball of energy, even at only six months old. "yuji." he murmurs softly, fruitlessly pressing the baby's pacifier into his mouth. "please settle down."
yuji spits out his favorite binkie, waving his hands around as he babbles to his adopted father his woes. kento nods along with a sigh, glancing over at the only other person in the lounge. "i apologize in advance for any headaches." babies deserve their space in public, no doubt, but yuji is so loud that kento feels the need to at least warn you.
smiling warmly, you wave a hand. "don't worry. i raised a child myself for a time— i assure you, i'm used to it."
for a time? perhaps you're a foster parent; kento initially only planned to be as such for yuji himself, but the bond he formed with the pink-haired cutie quickly became too strong for kento to even entertain the idea of giving him up. "thank you for understanding."
"besides, who could possibly ever be mad at that face?" you coo, waving at an enamored baby yuji. his cheeks blush, the now bashful baby hiding his face in his father's broad chest.
"you only act shy around women." kento murmurs, brow perked as he looks down at his boy.
chuckling, you settle back into the nice armchair and open your magazine again. kento glances over at you as he swipes a comforting hand over yuji's back. feeling eyes your way, you look up to catch his gaze. he's handsome. and a good father, from the looks of it. "how old is he?"
"twenty-seven weeks."
nodding, you pick up the toy yuji carelessly throws to the ground that rolled to your feet. standing and coming to hand it over, your fingers brush kento's. "i take it he resembles his mother?"
kento wipes the toy on his shirt before giving it back to the baby. "i'm not sure. i took yuji in when he was just born; he was left in the cold with a note attached to him." all the note said was the boy's name, and that this was what was best for him. a little digging for further information only provided that the boy's two older siblings have been lost to the system, but kento is determined to eventually bring them all together again as brothers should be.
gasping softly, you take the seat beside kento. "he's been through so much, hasn't he?" you murmur softly, eyes soft as the baby stares at you with big, warm eyes.
"he has." kento mumbles, squeezing his son just a bit. "his spirits are high, despite that."
"no doubt because of you."
kento's cheeks warm. "... thank you."
silence falls, or as silent as it can be with a rambunctious baby in the room. yuji begins to whine after a point, likely hungry! kento swears lowly; he hadn't anticipated it would take this long for his car to be serviced, and that's where the baby's snacks are!
the usual routine of bouncing, tickling and kisses isn't working, and you bite your lip as you watch the struggle. a handful of years ago, you fostered a baby too and are more than familiar with this struggle. "... may i?"
kento considers it, eventually handing the boy over. perhaps you'll be able to settle him just long enough for kento to make a dash into the shop—
yuji stops crying the second he's settled in your arms, that little smile bright. returning his grin, you gently rub his tummy. "now, now... giving your papa such grief isn't very nice!"
the baby is putty in your hands, quiet and giggly and bashful as a conversation stirs between you and kento. an hour passes and yuji's fast asleep by the time kento's name is called, and you stand to walk with him to the car and carefully settle yuji in the car seat. kento straps him in, triple-checking each buckle and strap before he's satisfied enough to close the door.
"thank you for your help." kento murmurs, staring down at you and your sweet face. it's been some time since he's encountered a stranger as lovely as you.
"of course... and, if you'd like..." it's your turn to be bashful now, your eyes flicking from kento's to anywhere else. "um... i'd love to see you and yuji again sometime."
glancing at the soundly sleeping baby through the window, kento gazes back at you. "i— we would like that." his cheeks flush, and your giggle pulls the tiniest of smiles to his lips.
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janesgms · 6 months
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Plutonian Women
(and unraveling their destiny)
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This post can be quite messy because I only wanted to share my thoughts on this topic. Do not take all of this as my absolute truth because these are things that I've thought for quite a while seeing it in my life and personally too.
Something I've realized lately is that Plutonian Women go through unique situations that set them apart from other people. And in this case, I'm refering to women only and not men because this is based on my experience, and you all know that energies manifest differently according to the gender so I'm not gonna afirm this also apply to men when I haven't seen it in my world, also, as we are tired of seeing, women are treated differently from men in our society so we cope with things differently.
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Firstly, I wanted to talk about placements that make a woman Plutonian in my opinion (when I say "Plutonian", I mean someone who is heavily affected by Pluto in their natal chart), but you can relate to this post whether you have some of these aspects or not, so share your experiences with me, I'd love to know!
🔮 1H/5H/8H/10H Pluto.
🔮 0° Pluto.
🔮 Pluto in water degrees (bonus points if there are aspected placements who are also in water degrees).
🔮 Pluto aspecting big 6 (specially harsh aspects: conjunction, opposition, square, contra-parallel / also specially the luminaries - sun, moon - and mars).
🔮 Pluto in the same personal planets/asc.
🔮 Pluto aspects to outer planets in case it's also aspecting big 6.
🔮 I think Pluto aspect BM Lilith/Chiron can also play a part in this.
🔮 Scorpio Pluto if it's conjuncting or heavily aspecting other placements.
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What distincts a Plutonian Woman from the rest is their gravitational energy that pulls you in like a black hole, and as intensely as one. Their eyes hold a shadow of their past traumas and occasions but with a touch of mystery that makes you wonder what they went through in their lives. Their stare is heavy and filled with emotions (let's not forget Pluto still rules a water sign).
I don't like to condemn people for their placements, but I think Plutonian Women came to this life to suffer a lot before gaining what they want and deserve, and this seemingly infinite cycle of pain will only end when they learn how to cope healthily with things of life. One of the reasons why they go through so much is their way of seeing and feeling. Plutonian Women feel things in almost a transcendental way, they feel intensely and with this, they can put themselves through "unnecessary" situations when not careful. They're also prone to self destructive behavior, their heart usually puts a dark veil in their thoughts when their emotions come crashing in like a hurricane. Their pain is the embodiment of "female rage", when they cry hard, it's a mix of anger, sadness, sorrow and everything that they were holding back from a while - because they do hold emotions - but they can't run away from their deepest parts, and one day everything overflows and they can finally reborn from that suffering; the music "Pretty When You Cry" describes them perfectly, because they're indeed pretty when they cry and crying frees them in a way, and a lot of people actually like to seem them suffer? Plutonian Women attract questionable men or women (romantically), because they're almost like a beautiful show to watch, and these men/women like them best when they're falling apart, but manipulation can arise and fool them (they should be careful with 12H synastry specifically, the apparently good ones can actually be the wolf in sheep's clothes).
But back to the way Plutonian Women perceive the world, they are actually fragile at heart, but they try to hide it at all costs, they have a pure heart who could be derranged due to childhood/romantic/any other issues but who has no bad intentions most of the times. I think of them as victims of situations they have no control of since young.
However, to be more positive, I'd like to say that this is not a death sentence at all. Indeed, death is the right word to describe Plutonian Women because they die all the time (figuratively speaking, but literal death can be very present in their life too) and they are reborn as better people. Unfortunately, justice or karma is not much on their side because the world can be a place very unfair most of the times, but I think this is due the fact that they souldn't focus on revenge or negative thoughts, even though they can do it a lot as a way of thinking as a "justice". But the message they should learn is that they should focus on getting better, prettier, wiser, smarter instead of losing energy thinking on lower vibrational people.
The truth is that Plutonian Women are the defintion of a a Phoenix, if you do them wrong, you can be sure that they will gain their dignity back and get back stronger than ever, even with a "fragile" heart as I said, they have a malicious mind that protects this side of them; and also, once they apparently heal their deepest and oldest wounds, it gets harder and harder to break their shell, but if you were capable of doing so, just know that you opened all of them and made the Plutonian suffer all again and go to hell and back.
Overall, the word that describes them best is "raw" because this is what they truly are (in the best way possible lol). Due to this, they can attract a lot of hate - similar to lilith women and specially if they are also lilith "dominant" - from people who don't understand their beauty or actions, because their beauty is truly sharp, hypnotizing, dark and undescribable, furthermore, their actions are particularly unique and most of the times hide their intentions, they never do something significant without thinking first. They ultimstely search for what's beyond the surface, when in love, they wanna know your soul and more, they despise flings, they wanna get to know the depths of their s/o's being, they love hard but also get heartbroken hard when it happens. Academically, they like to be strategic and hardworking when they see it's worth the work, they can be perfectionist because they're hard on themselves most of the times. So, afterall, what's their destiny? Their destiny is to feel accepted and comfortable in their own skin, to get over their traumas and allowing themselves to be better, to let go of toxic people and surroundings, to not engage in toxic relationships anymore, to free themselves from karmic debts and to be finally happy.
Plutonian Women probably feel a deep connection with spirituality, astrology, pstchology, crying, darkness, mystery, the unknown, black/red/purple/dark blue, sad and profound songs, the night, dark places in general, mourning, wakes, death celebrations, soul level bonds and conversations.
Plutonian Women are masterpieces who deserve more from the world and people, they've gone through a lot and they should be 100% respected, sending a lot of love to all of you ❤️‍🔥
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Hey guyssss, I missed posting actual posts here but I wasn't feeling inspired lately. But I'm back!!! I hope you guys understand my point of view and I typed this with all my heart because I was based on my personal experiences and people around me's experiences. I was thinking in also making a post about Lilith Women since I also have a lot to say about that either ! Thanks for the support and see you later or sooner 💋 Also in case you noticed I didn't focused in scorpio placements here because I think they work differently (I just don't know how to explain this difference tbh, so I focused on actual Pluto)
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necronatural · 9 months
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Context on Project Moon discourse
I did some digging and watched some internet slapfights between Korean users, and collected as much context as humanly possible, trying to avoid hearsay where I can:
Misogynistic dudes start complaining about how sexless and non-waifu-female-heavy the game is, feeling the skimpy Sinclair outfit with the thotty little collar VS the fully covered Ishmael outfit is pointed feminist jeering (a law Hawkeye Initiative). Korean anti-feminists are really sensitive to pointed feminist jeering. More on that in a bit
Upon learning the identity artist is male, they trawl the rest of the staff to prove their stupid-ass theory.
They latch onto the lead CG artist, who has tweeted about feminism before.
Project Moon receives countless threats and people marching on their office IRL demanding to speak to the CEO.
The resulting hate campaign leads to Project Moon firing the lead artist for violation of contract; it was specifically requested by the company that all users delete political statements and controversial topics before joining, and the tweets the incels are using seem to prove that the worst case scenario for not adhering to the request has come to pass.
The thing is, she did delete the tweets.
This user has screencapped incels scrambling to justify their belief the game is for man-haters, including a statement that he had dug up deleted tweets. These are old records.
These are the retweets, all made before joining the company (but again, the policy was that the tweets like this should be scrubbed). Most of them are just being catty. The most extreme statements are a scathing satire even a child could understand, and some general feminist sentiments which are not incendiary in any way. It seems they were screencapped to cement a pattern of passionate feelings on feminism.
In Korea, feminism is considered a wedge issue, which means basic activism becomes extremely politically charged. Think of it like how trans issues are being treated in America at the moment, or how "Critical Race Theory" was a wedge issue like 2 years ago. Nevertheless, the most hateful statements in these tweets are not "feminist", but rather annoyance at misogyny, and pretty obviously jokes.
The tweet that the incels are latching onto here states "if being a feminist makes me Megalia, I am Megalia. If being against patriarchy makes me anti-social, I am anti-social". Megalia was a scumbag leftist radfem group originating from Korea's 4chan (anonymous messageboards). It was bad enough that banning gay slurs created a splinter group. Megalia was well-known for mirroring misogynistic behaviours back onto men. They were reviled. An actress lost her job for wearing a T-shirt this group sold, even though the funds were going to supporting women seeking legal actions. Association with Megalia was reputation poison.
Notice I refer to them in the past tense, because Megalia shut down in 2017. The tweet was in 2018. You could not get any more obvious that the statement being made was "you can insult me by calling me Megalia, but I still believe in feminism". There is no association with this incendiary group.
Incels "supported" their argument with an image of Yi Sang holding a vial in basically one of the only 2 ways you can hold a vial, calling it a reference to 🤏, an emoji used as the Megalia logo interpreted to mean "men have small penises". This insane interpretation is being used to cement the whole company as misandrist.
Therefore: Project Moon fired their lead artist even though she didn't violate her contract because insane incels did a "how dare you say we piss on the poor" bad faith misinterpretation of deleted tweets in order to justify their belief that Project Moon is a man-hating company, and as a man-hating company deserves to be annihilated, leading to threats to staff.
The artist for Leviathan later stated that Project Moon pushed the comic forward with no buffer, and when the schedule became unbearable, they just cancelled it. They were told there was an issue with production (supported by the fact the company dropped the translation in favour of focusing on the game), but this news has made the artist pessimistic about the company's treatment of their art team. (Update: deleted, with a statement they feel they felt attached to their debut work, and struggle with feeling like they ran away.)
Here's the artist Vellmori's twitter if you would like to support them through this period.
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babyphat05 · 1 month
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I know you mention red flags but what if I DON'T KNOW what red flags to look out for?? Like what are some things that would be consider a red flag and what I should look out for when it comes to the men who I'm talking to (im the last inexperienced dating anon)
okay men to avoid:
- Men who bring up sex talk too soon. There's no reason whatsoever that a guy should be talking sexually and asking you suggestive questions within the getting-to-know-you stages. Not only is it disrespectful, but it shows that he's probably a sex-crazed lunatic and it's best to steer clear. I've had friends talk to men who talked too sexual too soon and they decided to ignore this blatant red flag just for these men to be absolutely nuts. So please, avoid them.
- Men who bad-mouth their exes. I've talked to men who played the victim in terms of why their previous relationship ended and I always avoid these types of men like the plague. It takes an emotionally mature adult to know that it takes two to end a relationship and it's a bit strange when a man is pointing fingers and is putting the sole blame on their exes regarding why their previous relationship ended. Also, men bad-mouthing a woman period always makes me super weary.
- Men who do not have positive male figures in their lives. I don't expect every guy that I talk to to have an amazing relationship with their father, but I need them to have some sort of positive male figure in their life. Why? Because men who don't tend to suck. I really don't have the time to teach a grown man how to treat a woman because of their past trauma and neither should you.
- Cheap men. A lot of women need to understand that just because a man has money on paper does not mean he's going to spend his alleged money on you. You know the traits of a cheap man. He's complaining about "gold diggers," he's always nagging about how expensive everything is, and when the waiter asks if you all would like dessert he immediately asks for the bill without any consideration for what you might want. Dating a man who's penny-pinching is such a boring experience and is not fun at all. If a man doesn't start out spending the big bucks, he's most definitely not interested in doing so later down the line.
- Gentlemen qualities! All women deserve to be treated like a princess. If a man doesn't know when to open the door for you, to walk beside you and never in front of you, and simple gentlemen qualities that he should have been taught when he was younger, then send him back to the streets where he belongs.
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shanniethewr · 8 months
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"so love me. show me that you mean it."
"pardon?" lyney said, wide eyes speaking volumes of his bewilderment. you stood in front of him, remaining unfazed as the two of you spoke in the empty backstage of the opera epiclese, where no one would disturb the conversation you two held.
"you said you love me, didn't you?" purple clashes with yours, "yet you kept so many things from me... to think you'd be part of the fatui out of every organization...!" your voice trembled, so did your hands as your nails dug against your palms. lyney wanted to speak, his lips moved yet no voice could be heard.
"you promised to fix things between us... you promised to heal me, to gain back my trust! but after the events lately, i don't think it's possible to trust you again so easily." lyney's voice came, "i- i know... and i know that an apology wouldn't fix things so easily..."
tears adorned your eyes, threatening to fall yet you don't let yourself shed a tear. "so show me that you mean it. no more lies, no more deception... i don't want the lyney who had kept so much from me. i don't want the lyney who wasn't the actual lyney i knew to the point i questioned every aspect of our relationship if it was genuine or not."
"and i don't want us back if you don't trust me enough to tell me everything about you like i trusted you wholeheartedly with my life on the line..."
lyney stood frozen in front of you, a myriad of emotions ran wild to the point he wasn't able to identify the suffocating feeling he was experiencing. you were his rose, his beloved rose. but all roses have thorns, and your thorns have crushed his heart in your hold.
but you were right, to an extent that all lyney wished was to go back and make everything right, to show that he actually loves you. but time was irreversible, and he shouldn't be wishing to fix the broken past, as fixing the shattered pieces of diamond was nearly impossible.
he should be fixing the present, his and your relationship.
lyney remembered it like yesterday, the order he received from his "father" to watch you, observe you, and to deceive you.
he remembered nothing but the mission in mind, to him, you were nothing but a task, a job lyney had to finish.
the interactions, conversations, and moments you two shared slowly increased to something becoming more frequent. yet to lyney, all he had in mind was his "father's" mission.
and like the quick flow of time, like clockwork, your relationship became more than just prey and predator. to lyney, you began to be more than just a task, a mission.
a friend, a loved one.
and suddenly, like the quick turn of pages in a book, you two became so much more than a close friend. lips on lips, skin on skin. loving affirmations were exchanged and the cob had found its pen, two lovers resembling those of swans, genuine and beautiful.
but everything went too quick, the prophecy, the primordial sea, the serial disappearances of young women, and the trial. and lyney faces the broken string of his and your relationship, the very thing he feared and wished for it to become nothing but a fleeting thought, a fleeting nightmare.
"i promise i will, no matter what. to me, you are my rose, my beloved. i didn't want things to end up like this but as they say, the harsh truth will all come to light. i'm... i'm so sorry and i know i deserve this but i will do everything to fix us... i cannot bear the thought of us no longer being together but i promise... i promise that i will do it, to fix this mess. so, please... trust me like you've always had and i'll tell you everything, trust me and i'll show that i truly, truly love you."
lyney didn't even noticed the tears that cascaded down his cheeks, smudging the tear drop on his cheek as his shoulders trembled. archons, he just wished everything was normal, all lyney wished was to have everything back to how it was before. he would do anything, anything to have you back in his arms.
moments felt like hours, years even. but lyney gasped upon feeling your arms wrap around him, feeling your tears on his chest as you too, weep.
with hesitance, lyney pulled you into a tight embrace, having no intention of letting go soon as you two quietly cried in each other's arms.
tonight, after a stunning magic show was spent in the empty backstage where the dam had broken along with two lotuses emerging after, a symbol of two lovers getting back up, far stronger and beautiful than ever.
you can't separate two swans who had become each other's mates after all.
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— © wr.shannie created on 9.03.23 finished on 9.03.23
( lowercase intended + not proofread )
do NOT copy or plagiarize my work!!
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strang3lov3 · 1 year
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Joel Miller, Spider Getter
Joel Miller x Reader
Fluff, no smut
Summary: Joel Miller, harboring quite the crush on Reader, takes his role as protector very seriously, except when it comes to harmless little bugs that threaten his girl.
A/N: We all know Joel to be a ruthless, cold blooded killer, but when it comes to innocent creatures, I like to imagine he shows some mercy LOL. Also, this is my first fic, like ever. I was inspired to start writing by some of my favorite writers @swiftispunk​ and @forever-rogue​ so please be gentle with me! 
Warnings: Spiders! But that’s it, really.
Word Count: 1.6k
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Domesticity is nice after nearly a year on the road with Joel and Ellie. You and Ellie are sitting at the kitchen table in your shared home playing a game of scrabble while Joel cooks dinner. You’ve grown very close with Ellie. In every way, she’s like your little sister. She’s sweet, caring, and a great friend, but she also drives you crazy with her silly jokes and teasing. You wouldn’t want your relationship with her to be any other way.  
Joel is a different story. You’re close, yes, but you have a relationship you can’t quite define. At first, he was quiet and standoffish. Still is, sometimes. But now, after your time spent together, Joel is much warmer and welcoming. Possibly even flirty? Maybe, you’re not sure what it is. He looks after you, wraps his jacket around your shoulders when you’re cold, and walks you to and the different places around Jackson. You’ve asked him why he continues to keep such a close eye on you when you’re all safe and sound in Jackson. Joel, ever the southern gentleman, explained to you that where he’s from, men always make sure to take special care of the women in their lives, no matter where they are. Women, he said, deserve to feel safe and welcomed everywhere they go. He takes his role as your protector very seriously, even though he knows you’re well equipped to take care of yourself. 
Except for one thing. He takes his role as your protector very seriously, except when it comes to bugs. He knows that part of his duties as your closest friend and protector is to take care of the bugs that cross your path, but goddamn if it isn’t the funniest thing to him. You, being the strong, brave, beautiful woman you are, can’t handle a little spider or insect? Now that’s just ridiculous. But, everyone has their weaknesses, right? Indiana Jones, snakes. Superman, kryptonite. Your weakness is bugs, as silly as it may seem. 
Despite the silliness of it all, Joel obliged to take care of bugs and spiders for you. He doesn’t entirely know why he does this silly little favor for you. Does he really need to do this for you? You should be able to handle a little bug or two every now and then. You’re a capable, strong, and smart woman! But all Joel knows is that he hates to see your pretty face upset and afraid, and he wants to be the man to make it all better. So, he’s your spider getter. 
Joel is all too familiar with your arachnophobia. The first time he saw you panicked after seeing a creepy crawling spider, Joel was completely amused. He had known you for a few months at that point, and he knew you well enough to know how brave you are. Clickers, raiders, and the other evil things of this world were nothing to you. But heaven forbid an eensy teensy black spider cross your path while sitting around a fire. So the moment you saw a spider get a little too close to your feet, you frantically sprinted ten feet away while screaming bloody mary.
“Really?” He and Ellie shared an amused look, giggling at your little show.
“Get it!” You commanded him. 
“It’s a harmless little spider, just nudge ‘em away from ya,”
“And get bit? No thanks. Please kill it, please, just, I’m freaking out here,” you begged, your fearful eyes pleading with his own unimpressed ones. You looked to Ellie, “Help me out here?” you asked her. 
“This is way too entertaining. Nope!” Ellie grinned at you, then at Joel. He smiled right back at her as they chuckled at your paralyzing fear.
You let out a deep groan. “Please,” you begged them. “I really fucking hate you guys right now.”
“Jesus, girl. You’re somethin’ else,'' Joel grabbed a nearby leaf and scooped underneath the spider, gently placing it among the trees. “You know, he’s probably more afraid of you than you are of him, the way you were stompin’ all around him. Coulda’ smushed him.”
You rolled your eyes. “You’re supposed to smush spiders, Joel. Why didn’t you kill him?” you questioned him, moving back to your place at the fire. “And I am way more afraid of him than he is of me.” You sit back down, pouting at the spot where the spider was before.
“Spiders ain’t done nothin’ wrong. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, now why should he die for that?” He got you there. If you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, you would hope a scary stranger would show you mercy. But this was different. You know spiders are essential to the ecosystem, but they’re creepy and ugly! Why should you care about whether an insect lives or dies? It’s just a bug, after all.
Joel sees the expression on your face, a mixture of disgust and fear. He notices your eyes go blurry as tears form in your waterline and feels a little guilty for teasing you. He moves over to you, offering a comforting squeeze on your shoulder. His deep brown doe eyes and tanned skin are illuminated by the golden light of the fire, and he looks so gorgeous like this. His eyes meet yours as he whispers “It’s alright now, sweetheart. Spider’s back with his spider family, he’ll leave ya alone now,” 
A tear falls from your eye, and Joel understands. He may be bad at dealing with his own feelings, but Joel can be very intuitive to others’ emotions. He knows you’re feeling embarrassed and spooked, so he runs his hand down your arm and to your hand, rubbing gentle circles into your soft skin. “I’ll take care of the spiders for you, don’t you worry,” he promises you. And he kept good on that promise after that night, but never missed an opportunity to tease you a little. 
Ellie picks out three letters to place on the scrabble board. Using an F from a different word, she spells out ‘FUCK’ towards the edge of the board, scoring herself a triple word. “Ha!” she yells, “Fuck, for 39 points!”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re fifteen and you know the word fuck. Ha. ha. ha,” you laughed sarcastically. “My turn now, you little shit.” 
You place your letters on the board, spelling out some mundane word. You count up your points and mark the score on the scorecard. Then, you reach into the letter bag and pull out some more. Feeling something strange in the bag, you hum. “There’s something in there,” you say to Ellie, grabbing the strange item along with your letters. As you pull your hand out of the bag and reveal the strange item, you realize the horror. You drop it and pull your hand away quickly. A big and black spider crawls on the table, and you’re done for. Letting out the most ear piercing shriek man has ever heard, you stumble quickly away from the table, flipping the scrabble board and knocking over your chair. Little wooden letters go flying as you sprint to the other side of the dining room, still screaming. 
Joel turns around immediately and looks over to you, cowering in the corner of the room. “The fuck is the matter with you?” he asks. 
“Joel, my god, get it, get it, get it, PLEASE!” you cry to him.
“Get what?” Joel pretends to be clueless to egg you on, but the mischievous glint in his eye tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing. 
“THE FUCKING SPIDER, JOEL!” you wail, shaking your hands and running to the sink. “I fucking touched it!! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” you scrub your hands with soap and water furiously. 
Joel walks over to Ellie at the table as she’s giggling and picking up the pieces of your mess. The spider isn’t crawling around very fast, it seems to be struggling he notices. It’s ugly as sin, but he knows it’s not dangerous. “This lil’ thing?” he asks you.
“Joel, I am not kidding,” you beg. 
“Me neither. Come on, honey. Looks like it’s hurt. You probably smacked him or somethin’,” He squints at the being, observing the way it moves rather exhaustedly. “It can’t hurt you, you know.”
“Who gives a shit?”
“Look, sweetheart,” Joel says to you as he grabs the scrabble dictionary and a glass cup. Your heart flutters and the endearing pet name. He places the cup on top of the spider and gently moves it towards the thin book at the edge of the table. Once he has the spider trapped between the cup and the dictionary, he brings it over to you while smirking. He lifts it up to your eye line and wiggles it towards you. “He ain’t gonna hurt you.” 
“Ugh, gross,” you flinch as he sets it on the counter next to you. You observe the creature a little more closely, that familiar look of disgust settling on your face again. Joel chuckles to himself, and then picking up the book and cup once again, he walks to the door. He opens it, crouches down and moves the spider to the grass. “Off you go,” he whispers to the being.
“Thank you,” you say. 
“It’s no problem, sweetheart,” Joel whispers to you, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple and pulling you in for a hug. “I’ll never let any bug get you ever again, I promise.”
You melt into him, accepting his comforting touch. Joel may be an ass, but you know he doesn’t like to see you in distress. He pulls you in tighter, pressing another kiss to the crown of your head. He loves this, being your source of comfort and safety. He vows to himself that one day he’ll deal with the feelings he has bubbling inside of him for you, but for now he’ll do this. Keep you and Ellie safe and comfortable, and take care of any spider that dares cross you. 
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sunflower-lilac42 · 3 months
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✧ 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 || hughes brothers ♔
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summary: after numerous occasions, the hate gets too much for the hughes sister and she breaks down
warnings: hate, crying
notes: i'm honestly not sure i liked the way this turned out especially the ending since i had massive writers block finishing this. just another hughes!sister fic, my comfort home. i have a couple more hughes!sister fics in the works and/or planned. add yourself to the taglist ➵ taglist!
publish date: 02/04/24
nhl masterlist | main masterlist
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Hate was a horrible thing. It happened no matter what, if you asked for it, if you didn’t ask for it, if you did something, if you didn’t do something. The bottom line was that hate was uncalled for even if you did something to deserve it. No one should have to go through that level of comments.
Y/n sat in her bed, covers pulled up to her chin as she stared out the window. She had a teddy bear tucked into her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around it. Her TV played a video with a fireplace on it, creating a warm atmosphere in her room. 
She felt sad, a new wave of depression rolling in. She had spent today on socials, getting caught up with the latest and interacting with her friends. She occasionally got hate, most of it from her brothers' fans who just desperately wanted to have her life. It bothered her to a certain extent, she knew she had no control over who her brothers were and what they had become, what they did for a living. 
Today the hate was worse and she didn’t know why. She hadn’t done anything differently than in the past, simply just living her life as usual. She didn’t know if the comments themselves were worse and there were more of them or if it was her mind playing tricks on her and making them a big focal point. 
She didn’t want to get up, her bed and blankets brought her enough comfort which is all she needed right now. She could hear Luke and Jack arguing from the kitchen and she rolled her eyes, there was never a time when their home was silent. She snuggled herself deeper into the bed, not even sure if it was physically possible. 
She knew she should go tonight, she hadn’t seen Quinn in a long time, not having gone to the previous ‘hughesbowl’ as they called it. She wasn’t a big hockey person, despite her family’s name. She never understood the appeal of it, you watch a bunch of men or women, race back and forth on ice chasing a tiny round piece of rubber while hitting others. 
That being said, she didn’t know why her brothers playing each other was so special. Matthew and Brady had played each other plenty of times, so they just added a third brother and it was the biggest thing on the planet. She got the appeal of it but not so much as the big deal, she was proud of them sure and it would make for a good game but past that?
She heard footsteps coming towards her room and she quickly ducked her head under her comforter to be ignored by whoever was coming to the door, “Y/n/n?”
She was silent, steading her breath, “I know you’re awake.”
Still nothing and at this point, Luke was just about ready to give up until Jack charged in, “Get up!”
She wasn’t in the mood to see everyone rave about her brothers, she didn’t need to go out into the world and see more hate spread about her. What would it be this time? Oh, she’s not supporting Quinn, that’s kind of a bitch move. Oh, she favors Jack and Luke too much. She’s wearing Quinn’s jersey, that must be her favorite brother. Do you think she’s using them to get with any of their teammates? She couldn’t do anything right anymore. 
“Y/n if you’re not up in the next five seconds I’m bringing a pot in.”
“Do you even own a pot?”
“No… but you’re talking now.” Jack cocked an eyebrow, an all too familiar smug look making its way onto the boy’s face.
Y/n turned around to face her bedroom door and muttered, ‘Congratu-fucking-lations.”
“Someone’s got an attitude.” Jack whistled, eyebrows raising again.
“Bro, come on.” Luke hit his older brother on the chest before walking over to the girl, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s a load of bullshit.”
“It’s nothing, Luke.” She raised her left arm to wipe the growing tears in her eyes. Luke eyed them carefully, placing a hand on her arm, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Good luck tonight.”
At this, Jack furrowed his eyebrows, “Why are you saying that like you’re not going to go?”
“Because I’m not.”
“What do you mean you’re not? You were excited to see Quinn.”
“I dunno.” Her eyes looked everywhere her brothers weren’t.
“Are you not feeling well?”
She merely shrugged before turning over again, the boys exchanging looks, “All right well if you change your mind, let me know and I’ll come back and get you.”
“Okay.” The brothers left, heading to the Rock leaving their sister alone with her thoughts.
It was twenty minutes later that she felt she wanted to go, she should support her brothers no matter what. She got ready, throwing a Canucks shirt on and her Devil's beanie covering her hair to hide the uncleanliness of it.
She texted Jack and asked for him to come back for her, to which he responded instantly with a yes. She sat on her bed, swinging her legs back and forth as she waited for her brother to come and get her. 
✧༺✎༻∞
To y/n the game was uneventful, just another one of the hockey games she could add to her total. The six of them had decided they would go out for dinner and being away from Quinn for such a long time she decided to ride with him to the restaurant and back.
When they got back to Jack, Luke, and y/n’s home, the girl immediately returned to her room, not so much as saying a word to anyone. The five remaining Hughes’ exchanged confused glances, “Has she been like this for a while?”
No one responded to Quinn’s question at first until Jack thought back to earlier, “She was acting a little weird before the game but I just thought she was tired.”
They all seemed as if that was a good enough assumption and sat in the living room watching a movie. Meanwhile Luke had been oddly silent, he knew there was something wrong with her from the moment he walked into the room this afternoon.
He excused himself from the family, walked down the hall to her room, and knocked on the door, “Go away!”
Luke entered the room and just as before, knelt in front of her so their eyes were meeting, “I know there’s something up with you.”
“No there’s not.”
“Come on, spill it.”
It was silent before y/n looked at her brother with glistening eyes, “Why are people so mean, Lukey?”
That was all it took for her to start crying, Luke wasting no time jumping onto the bed, wrapping his little sister up in a hug. The sudden affection caused her to let the tears flow over and bury her head into his chest. All Luke could do was hug her tightly, staring at the wall as his heart shattered. There was nothing but the sound of her sobs he could listen to, it was like the world had gone dead silent to amplify her cries. 
He closed his eyes, trying not to let the tears form or fall from them. He heard her sniffle, signaling that she was calming down a bit. There was a knock on the door and she quickly whipped her head up, “I don’t want to see anyone. Please.”
The boy looked conflicted before coming up with an idea, “If it’s mom and dad how about I tell them to go away but if it’s Jack and Quinn you have to let them in okay?”
She nodded, knowing that she wasn’t going to get very far with this. Luke called out, waiting for the person on the other side of her door to respond. When the voice called back and they both instantly recognized it was Quinn’s she sighed before squeaking out a ‘come in.’ Quinn entered the bedroom, his younger brother following behind him with his hands crossed across his chest. Quinn took notice of the girl’s face, followed by Jack as they sat at the end of the bed, ‘What’s going on?”
Y/n sat up pulling her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She looked hesitantly between her brothers, not wanting to say what it was that was happening to her. She was old enough she didn’t need to be treated like a baby who could break at any moment. 
Quinn’s older brother persona was comforting out of all three of them. If she had to rank them, let’s just say Jack would be at the bottom of her list while Luke was tied, or maybe just slightly under Quinn. She only looked at him before looking back down. Luke placed a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder, “We want to help you, y/n/n.”
Words were hard for the youngest Hughes, not knowing how to explain how she felt or what was happening. They never came easily to her, they never pieced together to form a complete sentence sometimes, and they never made sense when she was upset. She reached out for her phone that sat on the nightstand and Luke leaned over to grab it for her, placing it in her hands.
She pulled up screenshots of the comments so took, a constant reminder of why she wasn’t good enough for the Hughes’. She held the phone out, ready for any one of them to take it. Quinn was the first to take the phone, eyes scanning over the screen and swiping through the pictures. His facial expressions were very noticeable, his eyes widening at the language used, his mouth frowning at the comments, the tears in his eyes as he thought about his little sister going through this. 
He passed it to Jack when he was done, rubbing his eyes rid of the tears. They all waited in silence as Jack and Luke read the messages, tension filling the air. The three brothers exchanged looks, silently conversing without y/n noticing. In the silence, y/n started to grow anxious. What if they started to realize that what they were saying was true? What if they started to believe them?
Luke turned off the phone and placed it back on her nightstand, looking at his older brothers in a way that asked who was going to say the first words. They could all see the gears turning inside their sister’s head, nervous about what she was thinking. Quinn reached an arm out and placed it around her, pulling her into his side, “You know none of that is true, none of it.”
She just shook her head, not believing a word he said. Jack tried next, attempting to break through to her, “It’s going to be hard to hear at first, y/n/n, but nothing they say is true. They just-” Jack sighed, not really knowing where to go from there.
“They just hate me, it’s simple. They hate me which makes me hate myself.” She put her head down so it was resting on her arms. 
The brothers hadn’t felt this sad about something in a while, they gazed at her with tears in their eyes. They never would have thought that she of all people would be getting hate, she’s not even a public figure. They felt horrible about themselves even though it wasn’t their fault, she was experiencing this just because they were related to her. 
Quinn removed his arm from around her shoulders moving to sit in front of her. He moved her arms so she had to lift her head to look at him, “What?”
“Don’t say that. You have no reason to hate yourself, y/n.”
“Don’t cry.” She could hear the tears in his voice despite the fact that she wasn’t directly looking at him.
“Can’t help it. Our little sister is sitting in front of us, crying because she thinks she’s not good enough.” Luke spoke for the first time in a while. His voice cracked at some point throughout the sentence, bringing him to tears.
She reached out to hold his hand as a form of comfort which he gladly accepted. She looked at the three, noticing Jack’s oddly quiet persona. She tilted her head in confusion and looked him in the eye. When he made eye contact with her, he broke down himself. His tears left his siblings in shock, not expecting him to do that.
“What’s wrong, Jack?”
“I don’t want her to go through what I went through.”
Quinn moved from his spot to wrap his younger brother in a hug, “She won’t and you know why?”
He shook his head, burying his head into his shoulder, “Because she has us. Because she has you.”
The four Hughes siblings were left a crying mess after that night. Each of them fully broke down at one point or another, some more than others. Quinn had broken down in silence when all four went to bed in the same room at the thought of his younger siblings being this sad, being attacked by people who were nobodies. Jack’s breakdown affected everyone, he had known what his sister was going through. After his rookie season, he thought it would never let up.
Luke broke down mostly because everyone else was, he didn’t like seeing everyone sad. He started laughing halfway through crying because he didn’t actually know why he was crying. This was near the end of the night, everyone had practically run out of tears by then and laughed with him as soon as he started to. 
Y/n only broke down at one other point during the night, it was right before they went to bed. She had gone on her phone and the first thing she saw was a comment from someone on her latest post. She had begged her brothers to make it stop even though she knew they couldn’t do anything about it. However, she was determined not to let it bother her anymore so she made her brothers promise her they would help her with it.
And they did, they would protect her from anything even if it was their so-called fans.
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𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
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