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lovemyavatar · 1 year

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Just for the Night

Lo’ak x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Warnings: slight angst, one bed trope, frienemies to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, smut-ish

part two

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Lo’ak’s head swivels at the sound of your exasperated whisper. He slowly rises from his crouched position near the entrance of his family’s tent, dropping his bow with a quiet thud as his eyes flick over the dark space.

First, his gaze sweeps over your tense form, noting the way your shoulders are bunched as your hands fall to your hips pointedly. Then he glances toward whatever’s caught your attention, a low groan rumbling his chest when he realizes what’s going on.

He crosses the tent in a few quick strides, coming to an abrupt stop beside Kiri’s bed, where she and Tuk are curled tightly in each other��s arms. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. The two of them often end up in this position, especially on chilly nights like tonight.

But it is a problem. A big fucking problem because while your parents are away on a hunting trip, they’ve entrusted the Sully’s to watch over you. For the past several nights, you’ve been sleeping with the family, at the request of your father. He didn’t want you alone—unprotected—for that long.

“Kiri!” Lo’ak bends down, murmuring only inches from her face in an attempt to wake her.

His brow is pinched, mouth downturned in a deep frown. The muscles of his back ache from being so tense for days on end, but there’s nothing he can do to stop it. There’s nothing he can do to quell the way his body reacts to you.

He’s never been so irritated, so frustrated in his entire life. It’s not that he doesn’t like you. Usually, he tolerates you, finding it simple enough in the fleeting moments he runs into you around the village. But now, he can’t avoid you, doesn’t even get a break from your stifling presence at night.

Under normal circumstances, he settles for lingering glances when he’s sure you aren’t looking, and secret, wandering thoughts during the latest hours of eclipse. He’s always been drawn to you, finding it impossible to ignore the way his heart skips a beat at the briefest connection of your eyes with his.

You’re always close by, due to a lifelong friendship with his sister, and it wasn’t always a bad thing. When you were kids, the two of you often played together, flocking to each other like moths to a flame. But then, you all got older, and things became complicated.

Lo’ak quickly learned that the spark of heat in his lower belly whenever you got too close, accidentally brushing your skin against his, was most definitely not platonic. The realization flooded him with anxiety, uncertainty clawing at the back of his mind, catastrophic what ifs plaguing him.

He could never act on the stupid crush, that much was obvious. Because if he did, and the feelings weren’t reciprocated? It would crush him. Shatter a piece of his heart so violently he knew he’d never recover.

So, instead, he did the only thing he could think of to protect himself: push you away. Over the years, you’d gotten over the initial sting of his sudden dismissal, finding comfort in your budding friendship with Kiri.

He’s kept you at arms length ever since, barely acknowledging your existence other than to mumble the occasional terse response or sarcastic insult. As much as it pains him, carves a hole in his chest every time your lips pull into a frown because of his actions, it’s better to have your hatred than rejection.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself.

“Kiri!” He tries again, raising a foot to kick her shoulder when she remains fast asleep.

“Are you crazy?” Your fingers curl around his bicep, tugging him back harshly before he can land the hit.

He stumbles back a step, eyes flicking up toward yours. His heart skips a beat, skin burning where you grip him firmly.

“Me? This is your fault for getting us into trouble.” He seethes lowly, willing himself to maintain eye contact when he notices the way your freckles have come to life, glittering under the low light.

He aches to trace your body with his heated gaze. Wants nothing more than to devour every inch of you while he has you this close. It’s a rare occurrence, since he typically does everything in his power to avoid this very situation.

But he doesn’t trust himself, doesn’t trust the way his body is so beholden to yours. He knows he’ll mess it up just like he does everything else.

Your jaw drops, eyes narrowing incredulously. The blame is equally his to bear, and you both know it. You’d joined his family for dinner, seeing as your parents are still gone, and the two of you couldn’t help but fall into a familiar pattern. Snapping at each other and arguing throughout the entire meal.

His father assigned you both the duty of cleaning up after everyone finished, insisting you work through your longstanding issues. Of course, it took longer than usual, as you couldn’t help but sabotage each others efforts at every turn. So now, you’re in this predicament, all because the two of you refuse to find common ground.

“I’ll just wake Tuk then.” He yanks his arm free a bit too harshly, stomach flipping when you wince, retracting your hand quickly.

“No!” You whisper pointedly, eyes narrowing.

Your gaze falls to the sleeping pair, unable to make yourself disturb them. You know they’ve had a long day, and it’s late. It wouldn’t be fair. Even though the youngest Sully is occupying your temporary sleeping spot beside your best friend, meaning the only other option is…

“Not a chance in hell.” Lo’ak growls, watching closely as your gaze shifts to his cot.

It’s the only empty bed in the tent. His parents rest together across the room, Kiri and Tuk are obviously spoken for, and Neteyam, well…color blankets your cheeks at the thought of sharing such a small space with him. He isn’t even awake to gain his permission, and you wouldn’t dare climb in beside him without asking.

“Just go home.” Lo’ak’s chin drops, narrowed eyes searing straight through you to hide the way his heart threatens to beat out of his chest.

The idea of sharing a bed with you, of your body only inches away for the entire night…fuck. It drives him insane, makes his stomach flip with something hot, something he’s suppressed for too long to acknowledge now.

“You know I can’t do that!” Your arms cross over your chest tightly, hip popping in annoyance. His eyes can’t help but drop toward the movement, hooded gaze lingering a second too long over your curves. “Your parents will freak out if I’m not here in the morning.”

He growls, tearing his eyes away as his face screws in displeasure. His lips purse, one hand rubbing down his face as he considers the options. He can’t exactly kick you out because, as you said, his parents would rip him a new one if they found out. But the idea of being so close to you makes his stomach flutter uncomfortably, heat prickling at the skin of his face and neck.

“I know you don’t like me, but one night without being an asshole won’t kill you.” Your voice drops, a twinge of sadness hidden beneath the rough hiss.

Lo’ak’s jaw grinds, hands tightening into fists as his eyes cut through the darkness, boring into yours for a long moment. His chest aches, a mix of frustration and something else, something he can’t quiet name cinching his heart. His tail curls at his back, swaying side to side as his mind races.

He hates that you think so lowly of him, the idea weighing heavily in his gut. But there’s no one to blame other than himself. He’s done this, made you believe he can’t stand you out of pure selfishness. And he’s the one who has to deal with the consequences.

“Fine.” He grunts, stalking toward his bed stiffly.

He gathers his blanket from its disheveled position over the mattress, crumpling it up before pulling it tight, creating a long barrier that he shoves in the center of the bed. You watch with a quirked brow, eyes dancing over his toned body as he crouches over the bed, hastily shuffling the material around until it's perfect.

Sharp teeth find your lower lip, chewing on the plush skin as you're momentarily mesmerized by his fluid movements. You can't deny, no matter how much it pains you, that Lo'ak Sully is attractive. He'll never know it, since he spends most of his time being a jerk to you, but everything about him makes you hot.

The low timbre of his voice, the confident sway of his shoulders when he walks...Ewya, there's no getting around the fact that the skxawng (idiot) ignites a flame of desire deep within your belly. It’s infuriating, really, the way your traitorous body responds to him against your will.

He plops down onto the edge of the woven structure, long fingers curling tightly around the bedframe. He glances up at you through his brow, golden eyes glowing with clear irritation.

“Just stay on your side.” He mutters, searing gaze lingering for a second too long before he slides into bed, laying with his back toward the makeshift wall.

“Gladly.” You can't help but roll your eyes in exasperation, a rough sigh falling from your lips as you cross the room, mirroring his position on the empty half of the bed.

Tense silence blankets the tent. Both of you lay completely still, muscles taunt with uncertainty. You've never been this close, in such an intimate situation. Warmth radiates from Lo'ak's back, a stark contrast to the frigid air that shifts in through the slight gap in the entrance.

Within seconds, a chill washes over you, making your muscles tremble. Your arms wrap around your middle, hugging tight in an attempt to hold in some body heat. But the evening breeze is constant, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake as it caresses your skin.

“Stop it.” Lo'ak barks, tail snapping against his leg in annoyance. You’re shaking the whole bed, and it makes his chest cave with annoyance. For some reason, the idea of you suffering only inches away has his stomach in knots.

“Oh, I'm sorry.” You turn slightly, glaring at him over your shoulder as you coo the sarcastic apology. “Is my freezing to death bothering you?”

“Don’t be a wuss. It's not that bad.” His spine stiffens as your shift in weight rocks the bed, the back of his neck prickling under the weight of your pointed stare.

Despite his words, a shiver runs down his spine, making his teeth chatter as cool air seeps into his skin. It’s colder than average tonight, but he's locked in place, terrified to move an inch incase his skin touches yours.

This goes on for what must be a least half an hour. Both of you are too stubborn to even consider giving in. It's turned into a silent battle, a war of wills to see who breaks first. At this point, your muscles ache from clenching so hard, but you're willing to endure it to avoid acknowledging how close Lo'ak is.

How the heat from his back penetrates the cool air, tickling against your spine with the whisper of comfort, of the warmth you so desperately crave. It's so close, only inches away. All you'd have to do is lean back a tiny bit and—

A gasp lodges in your throat as a frustrated growl pierces the thick silence, just before Lo’ak flips over roughly. The bed rumbles, a large hand gripping your hip firmly. In an instant the blanket is ripped from between you, creating a valley of space.

You clutch onto the mattress as you’re dragged across the bed, until your back is flush with Lo'ak's chest. Your eyes pop wide, the heat of his skin almost too much as it sears through the icy layer coating your body.

He’s suddenly everywhere, invading every one of your senses. His scent wafts over you, light and earthy, tickling your nose as his chin rests against the top of your head. The strength in his corded muscles makes your breath catch as they meld with yours, pressing into you firmly.

“Goddamn. You’re freezing.” Warm breath fans the skin of your neck, causing another shiver to roll down your spine.

Lo’ak trembles against you, partially from the stark contrast in temperatures, but mostly because of you. He’s hyper-aware of every movement, every quick rise and fall of your chest.

His fingers twitch against you, restraint tightening his chest as he desperately represses the need to touch you, to drag his hands over your body until you’re moaning his name. He tried, he really did, but keeping himself at arms length with you this close was near impossible.

At the end of the day, he’s only a man, and you make him weak. It was simply a matter of time, and he just couldn't take it anymore, knowing sleep would never come with your shivers shaking the bed like that. And now his heart clenches, stomach tight with remorse when he feels just how cold you are.

He's lucky enough to run hot, typically sleeping uncovered, but tonight is exceptionally bitter, to the point where even he wants to wrap up. You're rigid in his hold, every muscle in your body taunt as he settles into you. One of his arms snakes beneath your head, the other slinging loosely over your waist.

His eyes flutter as he allows himself a single moment to enjoy the newfound proximity before they pop wide, horror washing over him as he realizes what he's just done.

“What are you—” The question is a breathless whisper, heart pounding so harshly you’re sure he can feel it.

“I can’t sleep with you shaking the bed like that.” He responds curtly, voice matching the tension in his body as he stiffens against you.

He wasn't thinking, simply acting on pure instinct. Truthfully, he couldn't stand the idea of you so uncomfortable right beside him. In that moment, his heart demanded that he put his pride aside, allowing both of you what you so clearly wanted.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, a mischievous voice whispers in the back of his mind, if he let his guard down just for the night...

Despite continued internal protests, your body gradually sinks into his. Coiled muscles slowly unravel, a soft sigh falling from your lips as his heat blankets you. It penetrates the frozen shell encasing you, allowing you to relax for the first time all night.

Your shoulders shift, hips swaying side to side as you nestle closer, eyelids growing heavy as a wave of sleepiness washes over you. Finally, finally feeling a semblance of comfort for the first time that night. Lo’ak jolts when your hips writhe against him, cock jerking to life beneath his loincloth.

“Don’t do that.” He growls lowly, the sound rumbling through his chest and into your back.

His arm tightens around you, stilling your movements as he shifts his hips back, carving out space between you. A soft groan of protest falls from your lips before you can stop it. In your tired state, your body chases his warmth, pressing yourself against him again with a sway of your hips.

A sharp hiss is forced through his clenched teeth, cheeks flaming when your ass rubs along his already painfully hard cock. Fuck, he silently chastises, this can’t be happening right now.

Your brows furrow in confusion when he tenses behind you, something firm stirring against your skin. He’s so rigid, so stiff, even though he’s the one who pulled you in. It doesn’t make sense.

Suddenly, realization dawns, and your eyes pop open in surprise. Your breath hitches, heart thrumming wildly between your ribs. Your lower belly dips, warmth rising in your core.

“Lo’ak, are you...?” Your head turns, temple only a fraction of an inch away from his lips.

You’re so close, they brush along your skin with every minute movement, sending a shockwave of desire between your legs.

Tentatively, you flip over, rounded eyes peering up into his as you face him. His jaw ticks as he lays completely still, muscles taunt as his heated gaze watches your every move. Color blankets his face, skin hot as a wave of embarrassment washes over him.

You can see how much he wants you, a burning flame of arousal making his golden eyes shimmer in the low light. Ragged breaths mingle, chests heaving as you both pour every ounce of pent up longing into the tiny space between you.

Something snaps within you, and you can’t help but close the last few inches, leaning forward to connect your lips with his.

He responds eagerly, all restraint instantly forgotten. His hand leaves your waist, instead cradling your jaw as he urges you closer. A low groan rumbles his chest, heart exploding with relief that you want him too. His tongue swipes along your lower lip, and you readily open for him, allowing him to explore your mouth freely.

He swallows your gasp of surprise when he flips onto his back, free arm snaking around your waist to haul you on top of him. Your spine arches as you chase his lips, never breaking contact while your legs part, his body easily sliding between them.

You’re straddling him, knees pressed into the mattress on either side of his hips. You can’t help but grind into him, a low moan rumbling his chest in response. You’re already soaked, the rough material of your loincloth creating delicious friction against your clit as it drags along your wetness.

Lo’ak moans, cock twitching desperately beneath his loincloth. He ruts into you, kiss turning feverish. You’re both completely lost in the moment, surroundings forgotten as you devour each other.

The hand cupping your face slides downward, caressing the skin of your neck before skating over your collarbone. A chill runs down your spine, hips stuttering over his when he cups your breast, gently kneading the soft flesh. His thumb ghosts over your stiff nipple, sending a shockwave of pleasure to your dripping pussy.

His other hand grips your hip with bruising force, dragging your clothed center along his cock at a steady pace. He trembles under you, abs tensing, the muscles of his lower belly rippling, already nearing his peak. He pulls back, chest quaking and heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

“Fuck, Y/N.” His voice is rough with desire, hips snapping up into yours harshly.

A shaky moan falls from your lips just before you close the distance again. Lo’ak ruts into you roughly, desperate to feel you fall apart for him. His fingertips trail along the string of your loincloth, dipping under the material, ready to rip it off you in one fluid motion.

That is, until someone stirs across the tent.

You both freeze, mouths ripping apart, muscles instantly taunt. Your breathing stills, eyes popping wide to peer into his fearfully. He blinks up at you, ice cold air washing over him as he’s catapulted back into reality. Back into his family home, where his parents and siblings sleep only feet away.

Shit, he hisses internally, what the hell am I doing?

A chill runs down your spine, body trembling not only from the cold, but from the weight of what you were just doing, lust-fueled thoughts clearing. Lo’ak still lays beneath you, stiff as a board. Your eyes flick over him, from his raised brow, to his reddened cheeks and parted lips, all the way down to his heaving chest.

You glance to the side, head turning slightly at the sound of light footsteps against the floor. Your adjusted eyes easily find Tuk through the darkness, watching with baited breath as she pads across the room. Her arms raise in a sleepy stretch, eyes still closed, a long yawn splitting her lips as she makes her way toward her parents bed.

You’re quick to scramble off Lo’ak’s lap when she settles between them, instantly drifting back to sleep. He rises onto his elbows, still catching his breath as you push yourself from the bed. Your arms wrap around your middle as you stand awkwardly beside him for several beats.

His stomach twists, already missing your heat. But the spell of desire that consumed you both has been broken, replaced with uncertainty and a tinge of remorse. He blinks up at you, hands curling into tight fists at his hips to prevent himself from reaching out, from pulling you back to him and claiming you the way he so desperately wants to.

“I’m just gonna…” You gesture toward Kiri’s bed blindly, voice low as to not wake anyone else.

“Yeah.” He nods absently, clearing hoarseness from his throat.

With one last lingering glance, you turn on your heel, eyes pinching shut the second your face is shielded from his piercing stare. Your heart is racing, chest tight with disbelief at your own actions. With one taste of his lips on yours, you were putty in his hands. It’s shocking, and unnerving, the way your body submitted to his advances so readily.

You quickly stalk across the room, tucking into Kiri’s bed. Thankfully, your back is toward Lo’ak, concealing the tiny smile that won’t leave your face. You don’t even bother messing with her blanket, the chill from the cool night air long gone under the weight of Lo’ak’s searing touch.

It’s etched into your skin, the feeling of his firm hold, the light caress of his hard ridges against your softness…Eywa, you’re done for. One taste isn’t enough, the ache between your legs already urging you to finish what you started. As you settle into a comfortable position, fingertips drag along the skin of your lips, where they still burn from his touch.

Sleep doesn’t come easily for either of you. Unbeknownst to the other, you both lie wide awake for the majority of the night, contemplating what just happened between you. It makes your cheeks flame, equal parts embarrassment and arousal keeping drowsiness at bay.

Whether for better or worse, one thing is clear: your relationship will never be the same again.

@fanboyluvr @minjix @daeneeryss @aonungsmate @glimmering-darling-dolly

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f1girliefics · 3 months

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Only Us

Daniel Ricciardo x Reader

Warnings: Car crash, injury, broken bones description of possible open fracture

Summary: A simple race, a not so simple crash.

You were excited to see Daniel back on the track, his new contract with the Alpha Tauri team was a good sign.

You were very happy for him.

He wasn't home when the call came.

The person calling from the hospital explained one of his greatest fears over the phone, you were in an accident.

It was late, he should have been home, but as soon as he got the call, he got his keys and left.

“Mr Ricciardo?”

“Yes, who is this?” he asked the woman on the other end of the line.

“My name is Janet Frank calling from St Vincent's Hospital: Emergency Room, you are listed as the emergency contact for Miss Y/L/N.”

“What happened?”

“She was involved in a car accident. She is currently in surgery, but the police here would like to talk to you.” Daniel felt his stomach drop.

“I-I will be right there!”

He arrived about thirty minutes later, out of breath as he ran to the front desk.

“I’m here for Miss Y/L/N.”

“To your right down the hall, take a right, you will see the police there.”

“Thank you.” he said before he started to walk fast towards the direction he was told.

As he took a right he saw two policemen standing there.

“I’m Miss Y/L/N’s boyfriend.” he told the two officers.

“Mr Ricciardo?” one asked and Daniel nodded. “My name is Sergeant Dwight, this is my partner, Sergeant Dennis. Your girlfriend was in a car accident this early afternoon. A drunk driver rear-ended her, pushed her onto incoming traffic and she was T-boned. She was conscious when we arrived on the scene.”

Daniel thanked the officers and soon rushed to your doctor who explained that you were okay, they needed to do a surgery on your knee because it got broken and trapped. Other than that, you were alright considering the circumstances.

Soon, you were out of surgery and in a room, waking up.

You immediately noticed Daniel by your side, smiling at you as he held your hand, he said something but you couldn’t hear him.

“Don’t move too much.” he said as you groaned in pain when you tried to sit up. “You had a knee surgery.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember. I looked at it in the car and saw the blood and I think my bone was also sticking out.”

“Thank you for the visual.” he made a face and you smiled a little.

“I’m alright though.” he nodded acknowledging that you were indeed, still alive. Your voice did calm him.

“I nearly fell on poor Yuki when I got the call, he had to jump out of the way.” you laughed a little.

“I’m so high on painkillers right now.” you smiled and Daniel laughed, seeing your expression.

“I’m so glad you are alive.”

“Yeah, but you will have to nurse me, doctor said I can’t walk for months.”

“I am okay with that. At least you won’t leave my sight.”

“I’m okay with that.” you smiled as he laughed a little. He touched your face, his expression turned serious as he looked at you, you could see the weight from his shoulders falling off.

You knew how he was, all smiles as if he had no worries and yet, on the inside he worried all the time. Over his family, over himself and over you.

It was natural to him.

You could only imagine how much it hurt him to see you in a hospital bed with a fucked up knee.

“You couldn’t have done anything different.” you said, trying to reassure him. “Even if you drove me, we would both be now on a bed, and you had important meetings. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I still feel like as if I could have done something.” he said as he looked into your eyes.

“You couldn’t have. It wasn’t our fault. What’s important is that we are both here, alive and happy.”

“You are right.” he let out a long sigh.

You pulled his arm and he moved closer to give you a kiss.

Nothing mattered but the two of you.

You will deal with your knee, you will deal with getting a new car, you will deal with getting the other driver the time they deserve.

For now, it was only you two.

DO NOT STEAL, REUPLOAD OR TRANSLATE!

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astarions-wife · 5 months

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I can’t believe it’s come to the point of analyzing Cazador for all of you, but considering the amount of “Cazador can be redeemed!” And “Cazador x reader” I’ve seen, I feel like i need to make this.

So you feel pity for Cazador because he also suffered at the hands of his master. Good. That’s the point. You should feel something for Cazador, he also suffered abuse, and was dragged into the cycle of it by Vellioth. It’s awful, it’s terrible, but it doesn’t mean he’s redeemable.

Very much so, when Cazador kills Vellioth and chooses to start the cycle of power and abuse over again, he was too far gone. He made the choice, the conscious choice to be the same as his old master. Of course he’s suffering internally, somewhere is the soul of someone who lost everything, and became something awful. However he doesn’t even say he wishes for a reset. He wishes for death. Only in death is he free of the cycle of abuse, for his role in it is too far gone at this point.

“Orin and Gortash have apologists!” They do, but they’re also under different circumstances. It’s also justifiable to absolutely hate Orin and Gortash (believe me, even as someone who believes Gortash could’ve been better, I killed him in my initial run). Specifically as the Dark Urge, you can tell Orin that she’s being used just as Kethric and Gortash were. She’ll even break down as if she’s realizing that all this death she’s done in the name of her father/for her God, has been her being taken advantage of. Though she never gets a chance to be better, because she’s forcibly transformed in this ending, it’s just a sneak peak of what could have been. She was being used, and while it doesn’t erase or justify ANYTHING she did (and you’re well within your right, and should hold her accountable), it at least gives the player insight on to what could have been.

Likewise with Gortash, a victim of abuse at the hands of Raphael, with canonical lines on how he was beaten in the House of Hope as a little boy. His own parents sold him out, and he ended up being so desperate to be bigger, to have more power, that he also let himself be used, and in turn lost everything he worked hard for (and sold out Karlach, which is absolutely unforgivable of course). However he wasn’t too far gone. You can see his loyalty to you depending what options you pick, and although death is his inevitable end, it still shows that there was still a person inside.

There wasn’t a person in Cazador anymore. He was trapped behind the wall of abuse that he continued, and refused to even acknowledge it, or try and see reason. Perhaps it wasn’t possible for him, but ultimately his actions brought him here. Those that say Ascension for Astarion would free him of those chains, are simply wrong. Why does Astarion deserve to live, anymore than his siblings? Or the seven thousand people who were turned against their will? Of course Astarion is more, controlled in his hunger—but so are his siblings. Even speaking to them after the fight they’ll all vow and attest that they can control themselves, and they’ll even help the others if brought to it.

Ascended Astarion picks up the abuse cycle, killing thousands of people with just his first command. Ascended Astarion no longer speaks to you, but instead at you. You’re his “favorite” spawn, but then again Cazador had favorites didn’t he? And all of them suffered just as badly as the rest. Ascended Astarion even mentions “covering the world in darkness for his spawn”, which shows him continuing the abusive cycle that got Cazador in the first place.

Cazador dying, and spawn Astarion choosing to break the cycle is the significant ending. The best ending for Cazador, the only one for him, is to let him die. He’s a horrible, cruel, bitter man, and any sense of his humanity died long ago. Only in his dreams is there anything left, and he’s too cut off to even reach them anymore.

We also know that the Szarr’s had family. There are relatives to Cazador (see his niece), and clearly it wouldn’t have been wrong of him as a vampire to have a family if he so chose. But he didn’t seek out a partner, like some of his other (vampire) relatives did. He chose to only live by his spawn, whom he considered his children, showing that he truly didn’t see a need for a partner. Themes of family are a vital part of his story, but the element of a romantic partner never has been.

TLDR—Some villains in this game are understood, and potentially redeemable if given the option. Cazador is not one of them.

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moghedien · 4 days

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I’m like sooo curious about the Aylin and Isobel after all this because we know they’re going help Selunite enclaves or whatever and I don’t think they’re ever gonna turn away from Selune really but I do wonder if there’s like a twinge of something about their relationship with the goddess now

because again I don’t think they’re gonna turn from her, but they both have their issues and trauma now. Aylin’s is a bit more obvious but I can’t stop thinking about how the game basically tells you that Isobel came back wrong and then never acknowledges that again.

Obviously she didn’t come back as wrong as some of her kin, but the first time we see her she seems ill with something. You can kinda dismiss that as being related to the Shadow curse without full context. Even if you read her diary, you can kinda dismiss it until you understand she’s Ketheric’s dead daughter.

Her diary:

Like she clearly isnt being spurned by Selune completely as she still has cleric magic and can still protect Last Light, but the phrase “there are some things she would never accept in her devoted” is so ominous. Isobel clearly knows that Selune is having some problem with her and the fact that the problem isn’t as clear as being denied her magic makes it even more ominous. If not that, then what is happening that makes this clear to her?

Then there’s Aylin, who is literally the daughter of Selune, who was sent by her mother to the Thorms. And obviously there isn’t any regret there because of Isobel, but then the Isobel dies under vague circumstances that may or may not be Shar related based on cut content. Then the people that Selune sent Aylin to protect cage her and torture her and use her as a lab rat and organ donor and ritual sacrifice over and over again for the next 100 years.

Aylin was supposed to be an envoy of her mother and ended up being the instrument in which Shar made weapon after weapon. She’s unwillingly spreading the darkness she’s against and all because Selune sent her to these people. Literally 100 years where all she can do is die again and again until she can convince one Sharran to listen to her and not just kill her again.

And like, you can also take into account the possibility that Aylin is an oathbreaker now. I don’t personally buy the theory but I know a lot of people do suspect that her reaction to killing Lorrokan was due to it breaking her oath. I think it’s more likely a trauma response but we can look at this either way.

Because killing Lorrokan should have been the righteous move. He was trying to use and defile her, one of Selune’s children, for his own petty reasons. He was going to commit the same sins as Ketheric. And it wasn’t like Aylin was the only potential victim of him. We know he hurt Rolan, and no doubt many others. What would a man like that do with immortality?

But then killing him just makes her feel empty? She protected herself. Protected Selune’s sword and anyone else that might have been suffering under him. And it doesn’t fill her with the same righteous ecstasy that it should. Suddenly being the righteous paladin doesn’t feel good, it just feels empty.

And if you believe that it did break her oath, then what? She’s being punished by Selune for defending herself and others? She stopped Selune’s envoy from being used in the same profane ritual she just escaped from and gets rejected and punished for that? She’s the one accused of violating Selune?

Again, I don’t personally think the reaction was caused by breaking her oath, but I think it’s a compelling angle to look at, at least.

And all of this to say that again, I don’t think either of them are going to turn against Selune and I don’t think they have a very strong reason to. But I do wonder how their relationship with her has changed in the last 100 years while Aylin was being forced to die for Shar over and over again and Isobel was forced to live by Mrykul, completely unprotected by the moonmaiden they had both been absolutely devoted to.

I just wonder what was going through their heads when they talked to Shadowheart about her past and the fact that she has a choice now, that Selune would take her back after a life time of Sharran indoctrination and crimes committed in her name. Now she has a choice. I wonder if in that moment, there wasn’t even the smallest bit of bitterness toward Selune on their part.

#dame aylin #isobel thorm #shadowheart #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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beebopboom · 3 months

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If Gabriel can leave Heaven and be with Beelzebub, why can’t Aziraphale do the same with Crowley?

That’s a general question right? Something along those lines? How Gabriel did the “good” thing and how Aziraphale did the “bad” one, yeah?

Well I have a few thoughts on this so let’s go through it real quick on why Gabriel could and why it shouldn’t immediately be equated as the “good” choice - especially in comparison with Aziraphale’s

Also none of this is a slight against Gabriel/Beelzebub - it’s just a different relationship, different circumstances.

and this is just my interpretation obviously so yeah - do with it what you will

ok actual rant time go-

Gabriel and Beelzebub meeting how they did would not have happened without Armageddon being adverted.

They would have been on opposite sides of the battlefield but instead they ended up actually talking and in the process finding someone they could relate to. Their spark had been ignited and they continued to flame it.

To put it simply-

Gabriel and Beelzebub’s relationship is that of one between an Angel and a Demon. Aziraphale and Crowley’s is a relationship between two beings that happen to be an Angel and a Demon.

And that is a very big difference

Gabriel and Beelzebub are each other’s Heaven and Hell - they said so themselves. They may not be choosing sides but those two are the only ones they see, Heaven vs. Hell.

Even at the very end of every thing they are still an Angel and Demon - and in the case of Gabriel at least still holds those same opinions of the other side with the exception of Beelzebub of course

They don’t really see the third side that Aziraphale and Crowley have placed themselves on - they don’t have that connection to humanity not really.

For most of their existence pretty much every interaction with humans has been strictly professional and by the book. Sure Gabriel likes the clothes and his statue - and they have their song but that’s it.

They don’t have that history - that need to do the right thing by humanity not just themselves. As long as they got to be together they could care less about the rest of it.

Earth just happened to be the place they met up as it was the easiest. Not moving forward with Armageddon was not in the interests of keeping humanity around - it was in the interests of this being the place where they meet up and hey it has some vaguely interesting things about it - nothing has to change for them if they keep it around

Also they are both coming from very high positions of power on their respective sides - positions that are hard to touch. They are the ones making decisions and ordering people about. They were the ones to play judge and executioner.

No one in that bookshop at that moment was really in the position to stop them from leaving. The one being that really had that power, The Metatron, came later and really just benefited from all this.

and The Fear that is ever present throughout Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship is barely there for Gabriel and Beelzebub really.

Heaven and Hell’s relationship particularly between the higher ups is so fascinating. The “backchannels” are practically an open secret and getting the other side to do their bidding is a running trend.

What did Gabriel and Beelzebub have to fear? Any meet up they were caught at could very easily be explained away. And honestly both sides have been fumbling trying to come up with plans - they weren’t paying attention.

At no point in his trial does Gabriel look nervous - he is very nonchalant about the whole thing because it’s whatever, they had a plan in place for this. He is no longer obligated to hold his position of power and oh? they aren’t going to send him to hell? welp he’s still leaving anyway.

Him leaving was just not acknowledging the problem, the system. He didn’t benefit from it anymore as he found something better, Beelzebub. So what was the point of staying and being demoted when he could just leave?

And the biggest and most important thing about all of this is-

They weren’t the first

no no no that goes to Aziraphale and Crowley.

Making choices and picking sides - things they were not made to do

6000 years of hiding their friendship - thousands of years spent worrying about being watched, about the other being hurt - thousands of years of living among humanity somewhat doing their jobs, mainly just enjoying being there and interfering where they could.

They didn’t get the privilege of knowing the loopholes between the two establishments so they made their own

Coming up with guidelines and routines so they weren’t discovered - that were then shattered after they helped advert Armageddon and were discovered.

and when they survived execution no one knew what they were - they had gone native

Completely intertwined with history and the fate of humanity - Earth was their home

They became each other’s World

they protected each other from Death

but all those routines and structures going away is jarring - difficult to work through

they are each their own character - with their own way of processing and doing things - thrust into a space that they may have wanted but never truly thought they would get. This is all a lot

All the things that Aziraphale has had to deal with are things that have never even crossed Gabriel’s mind - the guilt, the doubt, the uncertainty

4 years is not a lot of time to work through that really - not to them (not to anyone really)

4 years where they both knew it wasn’t over for them, for humanity - that eventually there was going to be another Big Event.

Fear that has never went away for either of them.

this is not a case of “oh Aziraphale and Crowley had over six thousand years to work on their relationship and failed, yet Gabriel and Beelzebub were able to work it out in four”

this is “they both had four years - Aziraphale and Crowley just had an added six thousand years of fear and repression to dig through”

Aziraphale went back to Heaven because everything is at a higher stake for him than it has been or will ever be for Gabriel - Gabriel gets the trial and Aziraphale gets the execution

Because the thing about Aziraphale is he cares - he cares so much about the future of humanity and his own future - which is not a bad thing

If there is two things to never doubt about Aziraphale it is his love for humanity and Crowley

But there was no choice in The Metatron’s “offer”however it was an opportunity

and he has just been “offered” the same position he just seen the previous holder get to go off together with his demon partner and no punishment.

Aziraphale knows what “big plans” means for Heaven, even if he didn’t know exactly what it was - he’s been on Earth watching them play out for 6000 years.

His goal up there is not whatever these big plans are the Metatron was talking about - he is going up there to change it (and is that such a bad thing? I mean we saw how he was with Muriel)

He is making the best out of getting backed into a corner - unfortunately it resulted in both of them him getting hurt in the process

but if there is one thing to take away from their last look is that although they may be hurt there, there is understanding and trust - and love between them

Going off was what Gabriel wanted and Going back was never Aziraphale’s choice to make.

so can they really be compared as the right and wrong when the circumstances around the situations were vastly different?

————————————————————————

ok I ran out of steam towards the end there and it might be a little incoherent but have a fun little headcanon to make up for it

you cannot convince me otherwise that Gabriel and Beelzebub don’t bitch about Aziraphale and Crowley - at the very least one of their meeting was just dedicated to bitching about the two of them

#don’t take this too seriously #it is very late #and I’m back - with a rant #because the last few days have been so shitty I just want to rant about something #and this felt appropriate #good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #gabriel x beelzebub #ineffable bureaucracy #boxfly #good omens gabriel #good omens beelzebub

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altbite · 1 year

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Enemies To Friends *Konig Headcanon*

I think i have a problem. Anyway Konig x GN!Reader - Enemies to Friends to Maybe Lovers. Kinda Long. Sorry not sorry.

It starts out simple. Konig was the new guy, and although you don’t have beef with recruits, he had skipped his way into being the lead on a mission. A mission you have been trying Price to make you lead of for weeks.

You worked your ass of to impress Price and show him you are more than capable. So when he announced Konig would be the lead, you were pissed.

You weren’t even pissed at Price, even though it was his doing. You redirected your anger to Konig.

The boys (Gaz, Soap and Ghost) all saw you get ticked off by this because they also knew you were aiming for that role.

Price waited for you to come talk to him, even yell at him gently, because of his decision. But you never did. You accepted his decision but you sure as hell weren’t going to be buddies with Konig.

But it gets better. You were assigned to that mission as Konig’s second in command.

Konig had attempted to talk to you afterwards, but you blew him off. You walked away and he didn’t understand why. This happened a few times.

You were sitting by yourself, playing around with your combat knife whilst sharpening it, and Konig walked up, you immediately told him to fuck off.

He had also had enough, finally raising his voice and asking what your problem was.

Continuing to sharpen your knife and not making eye contact, you told him he was the problem

“Elaborate, please”.

You licked your lips, ready to chew him out, looked at him for a moment without replying.

“You are the problem. Not that hard to understand”

“Whatever problem you have with me can’t be happening on the mission”

You stoop up with speed, pointing the knife at him. “Exactly! You stole MY position, the one I worked for. Not you. No. You came in and stole it without thinking, and sure maybe it wasn’t your decision but if it weren’t for YOU, there would be no problem”.

Konig just stood, and stared. Whether he was speechless or processing what you said, you left the room.

The tension was high between you two, to the point it made everyone in the room uncomfortable and you refused to acknowledge his existence.

The time of the mission came around, and although you weren’t going to be besties with Konig during it, you couldn’t exactly ignore him. Despite circumstances, you would have his back on the field (or at least some of it).

During the mission, you had encountered enemies and guns went ablaze. You could see Konig was dealing with a lot more enemies than you and although you could've backed him up, you knew he could take care of himself.

Plus the other recruits were helping so you focused on your part.

Konig did end up getting shot in the arm, a scratch for a man his size you thought but you killed the last guy standing for him. He side eyed you, with murderous intent.

The mission ended up being a success and made it to exfil. On the route back, you avoided Konig and stayed with some of the other recruits.

Once you reached base, Price applauded the success. Neither you nor Konig mentioned anything that happened on field, it wouldn't benefit anyone.

He cornered you when you were alone, snapping at you. “What the fuck was that earlier?!”

“What? Nothing happened”

“Nothi- Nothing happened? You were supposed to watch my back. I could've died”.

“But you didn’t. So quit fucking complaining like a bitch”.

Soap walked in looking like a lost puppy before any other words were exchanged. Konig stormed off and you went to bed.

This continued for a few months. Eventually though, you two just ignored each other. No more side eyeing, snarky comments or full on arguments.

Price had lectured you both multiple times about being more friendly, or at least tolerating each other, which was the prompt that stopped the constant yelling. Price accepted it as he was also fed up.

When it came to missions, Price stopped pairing you two together, but on occasions when it did happen, you both dealt with it.

When you two were alone in a room, even for a second or two, you did mumble insults at him and he at you.

It was always a mix of “Fuck you”, “Prick”, etc.

When he was speaking to anyone, you’d listen in without looking. Curiosity still got the best of you and you could use some blackmail on him.

As you watched him become friends with the boys, avoiding him was harder. He would hang around them when you weren’t there, and multiple times have you been to awkward to walk into that conversation.

Konig did the same thing though when you were with them.

When he finally did butt into a conversation (usually for good reasons like mention briefings or something Price wanted passed on), you stared at him and dropped snarky comments where you could. He would ignore you and continue talking before leaving.

There wasn’t really a day when you two stopped hating each other. It naturally crumbled away as you interacted more, mostly because of other people.

Ghost has brought it up to you and you ignored him, thinking he was bluffing. But he was right. You did start acknowledging him. You still hated him for the stunt he pulled and it was enough for you to dislike him.

The moment it really took a turn was on the way to a mission. You were talking to Gaz and some other soldiers, while Konig was talking to a different group, and whatever he said, you turned your attention to them and gave Konig a sarcastic comment.

He rolled his eyes at you while the others chuckled and you got smug about it.

It continued to happen and both of you were sassing each other. It was worse during missions when you talked through comms.

While everyone enjoyed the bickering, Price had wished you two go back to not speaking (he was secretly proud you two were bonding though, somewhat)

Soon the sarcasm and comments turned into praise for a good job, followed up by commenting some wack shit like “Good job for not dying, but I definitely could’ve done that better than you, AND taken less time. Dumbass” or “You’re welcome for saving your ass. Can’t you have dying on me yet”

Soon you two did become friends, and everyone was relieved. They were all rooting for this friendship for ages because the tension and awkwardness could be left behind.

You found things to bond over, and sometimes it involved making fun of Soap and Ghost.

Soap when you annoy/make fun of him: TnT

Ghost: -_- >_>

Konig had apologized to you about the stealing your mission, and even though you accepted his apology, you also apologized for taking your anger out on him.

With the issues now in the past, you two became unstoppable on field. Okay maybe not unstoppable but definitely great together. Outside of field, you two were a menace to society.

Maybe Lovers??

Ghost has caught you multiple times staring at Konig with “puppy in love eyes”. You brushed it off. But it stuck at the back of your mind.

When you watched and listened to Konig ramble about something, you would stare with awe, your face softened and a smile on your face and once you catch yourself doing it, you stop immediately.

Konig did the same thing, but his was harder to detect.

He did little things for you, like make you coffee or give you biscuits. It was his way to appreciate you without letting you know.

Mans knew he was catching feelings for you and it scared him. He was scared because he thought things would go back to the way it used to be: hatred. He didn't want to risk it so he did his best to hide away from it.

Was it eating him alive? Yes.

He would go to bed thinking about the day, thinking about all the conversations he had with out, and wondering if he might’ve slipped up somewhere. His thoughts of you would keep him awake at night sometimes. It drove him crazy.

Now on a usual basis, you were a “no thoughts, head empty” person. When you did start thinking about Konig and realizing you might like him, you blocked it out by listening to music. Music drowned out thoughts for you.

Until a song you could relate to Konig would come on. Then you groaned. People around base have seen you actively do this.

When you thought about your growing feelings for the man, you were more worried than scared. Despite being on good terms now, you would overthink and sometimes believe that deep down, Konig still hated you. You gave him hell for months, so why would he let it go?

Bonus

Ghost and Price have tea together and talked about you and Konig and how you are both oblivious to each other.

The following scene has happened many times:

You and Konig are subtly flirting. Price and Ghost are by the counter in the kitchen watching this interaction. The give each other the side glance of “You seeing this shit Ghost” and “They are doing it again Captain” and sip their tea.

#mw2 #cod mw2 #cod #mw2 soap #mw2 ghost #cod x male reader #cod x gn reader #cod x reader #konig x reader #konig #konig mw2 #mw2 konig #konig x gn!reader #call of duty modern warfare #modern warfare #modern warfare 2 #call of duty #mw2 x reader

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bg3-npc · 5 months

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Wyllstarion concept I can’t stop thinking about so I’m making you all suffer with me.

Post-game get together, the scenario involves Astarion not ascending and Wyll keeping his pact with Mizora. Wyll can chose any endgame path, I personally imagine his Duke ending. The party went their separate ways after defeating The Absolute, and at least a year has passed. There’s the setup, here’s the concept causing me brain damage:

Wyll and Astarion reconnect in some way. Despite the dire circumstances, they enjoyed each other's company during their adventure. Astarion is recovering, enjoying his freedom while trying to figure out what ‘being good’ means to him. He’s experienced many things since the party's victory and seems to be steadily improving on all fronts. Wyll has been doing whatever duties come with his chosen title and doesn’t seem different. He almost seems entirely unchanged, but the more Astarion is around him he feels like something is off.

Astarion pays closer attention and notices small differences he hadn’t before. Wyll looks haggard, he fidgets and blinks constantly like he’s trying to keep himself awake all the time. He’ll lose focus and zone out so badly he won’t respond when Astarion calls his name. When Wyll doesn’t have a day full of tasks, he’s restless and almost seems to panic. He will return from missions more hurt than someone his skill level should. He struggles to concentrate during conversation, especially when it’s not centered around his responsibilities. Wyll also never drops his persona, even when the two are alone. He performs his part, but it seems more exaggerated and forced than when they first met. Whenever they’re together, Astarion never actually feels like “Wyll” is there.

A normal, everyday interaction provides an explanation for Wyll’s strange new presence. Someone starts calling Wyll’s name to get his attention. Astarion notices the person immediately, but Wyll doesn’t. After a few failed attempts, they call Wyll by his title. That method finally gets Wyll’s attention, and he’s seemingly oblivious to the previous attempts. Seeing this recurring phenomenon from a third-party perspective gives Astarion the insight he’d been missing.

Wyll reflexively, and almost exclusively, talks in the third person now. Only ever talking and presenting as his title. He will give his input on a matter, but only what’s necessary and doesn’t reveal anything about himself. He hasn’t formed any new connections or relationships since they departed, and any he has are friendly but essentially professional. Wyll is never off duty and ensures he always has some quest to complete. He’s never idle or relaxed, keeping his mind and body occupied at all times.

The issues that plagued Wyll before and during their party's journey never got resolved. He wasn’t managing well before, and by the end of everything his suffering had only increased. His situation has not improved since and the toll of everything that’s happened is becoming intolerable. Wyll refuses to acknowledge his pain but it’s overwhelming him nonetheless. He sees no end to his misery and feels helpless to stop it. In a desperate attempt to regain some feeling of control over his life, Wyll’s removed himself from it entirely. He doesn’t have to address what’s affecting his life if he’s not living it. Wyll’s abandoned his name and latched onto the identity of his title. The reason Astarion never feels like “Wyll” is with him is because he no longer sees himself as “Wyll”.

Astarion avoided asking Wyll about his pact with Mizora, but this breakthrough compels him to broach the subject. Wyll tells him he feels it’s best for everyone if he doesn’t break it, and he has resigned himself to a fate in the Hells. He truly believes it’s the right thing to do and disregards his feelings about it. He will do his duty to the people, and he will convince everyone he’s okay. He wants to convince himself he’s okay.

Wyll is doing all he can to avoid and deny any of his trauma, but his coping strategies aren't working. He's still doing heroics for the right reasons, but now they've also become a distraction. He’s even begun to use them as a form of self-harm, his reckless selflessness verging on suicidal. Ignoring the issue doesn’t resolve it, and Wyll is completely unaware he’s nearing a breaking point. Astarion has no idea what reaching it will do, but he refuses to let that happen. He cares for Wyll and dedicates himself to pulling his friend back from the edge. Astarion will help him regain his sense of self by any means necessary. Wyll is going to fight him the entire time, but Astarion has had 200 plus years to perfect stubbornness. Wyll has the capability to save his soul, save himself, but he needs someone to show him he’s worth saving.

Aaaaand from there the plot varies and mostly depends on how much suffering I want to put these two through. The amount of psychic damage I cause myself with this setup also varies day to day.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #wyllstarion #wyll ravengard #astarion #WOW okay this is essentially a fic in itself #this just proves i will never actually write fic #it is SO so so so much easier to just have all this in my head #there is no Wyll centric fics focused on his recovery post game #but there IS in my head #anyway uh enjoy maybe? idk #mine

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thewillofdeez · 1 year

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Shanks - NSFW Alphabet

Minors DNI. Reader can mostly be read as G/N, though there are some female-specific references. Shanks is bi/pan.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Shanks is super giggly and talkative after sex. He gets that oxytocin high and his brain goes into overdrive and he’ll want to cuddle and ask you the most obscure opinion questions you’ve ever heard. Ever had someone ask you if you’d rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck? That’s the kind of thing that comes out of Shanks’s mouth after sex. It’s silly, but you’ll both be laughing the whole time, and that’s kind of the point. He sees after sex as a good time to get to know his partner.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

If asked, Shanks would say it was his left arm. But he’s mostly joking. He likes his hair, as it’s his trademark. He knows he has a winning smile, and for someone who loves to laugh and have a good time, he values any time he can smile. He’s also fond of his feet, they’re practical and kind of cute if he does say so himself. On a female partner, he’s a boobs guy. Soft, squishy, fun. On any partner, he likes hair too - short, long, 1a, 4c, doesn’t matter, he wants to stick his face in it. If you have really short buzzed hair, don’t worry, our guy’s got you too - he’ll have the best time running his hand over it and giggling at how it feels.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

If you’re adequately protected, he desperately wants to cum in you. But he’s also not a picky guy. Wherever you want it, he’ll put it. If he’s going at it from behind, he’ll go all over your ass and back. From the front, chest, stomach, neck, wherever. He’d prefer to avoid your face and hair, but the man does live to please, you just gotta be clear in what you want.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s no secret that Shanks considers dirty. Like, at all. He feels comfortable being open about sex, the good parts and the bad, kinks, sexualities (including being pan himself), all of it. This is partially because he never had people to be open about the realities of it with him when he was in his teens and early 20’s. Like, yeah, Roger and Rayleigh told him and Buggy the basics when they reached that age, but they left so many questions he had to find answers to himself, both through books and through experience. He takes it upon himself to try and break down that stigma for other pirates who might be in a similar situation, while also acknowledging that not everyone is as comfortable with the topic as he is and handling it with tact when necessary. As part of the Red Hair Pirates orientation, he and Hongo give all new recruits the safe sex talk.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Shanks is nothing if not a slave to his physical desires, whatever they may be. He’s never really been a one-partner kind of guy (or at least never thought he would be) both by his nature and by circumstance. He sees meeting people all over the world, finding a partner, and eventually bedding them like going into a candy store and wanting to try some of everything. Some things he knows he likes and can’t get enough of, some things he doesn’t like and knows to avoid in the future, and some things take him by surprise one way or another.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

Shanks likes his partner on top. This is partially because some positions have become more difficult since losing his arm, but also because he just loves watching his partner’s body move. To his credit, though, he hasn’t let the lack of an arm slow him down, he’s just had to get a little more creative in how he does things.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

In general, Shanks sees sex as a source of joy, and so he wants to be able to laugh with his partner. It’s really only with someone he really, truly cares about that you’ll see the serious side of him in bed. That’s when sex goes from an act of mutual pleasure to an act of love.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Shanks loves his red hair, both upstairs and down. Downstairs it’s a fair bit darker than what’s on his head, with more of a brunette tint. He might give it a trim every once in a while, but he’ll mostly let it go, and he’s never had any complaints.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Shanks lives for intimacy, but he also knows that what one person considers intimate might be different from another person. He’s pretty communicative, and wants to know exactly what his partner expects - he’s almost certainly down for whatever that might be. If they’re a dim lighting and music kind of person, he’ll have a blast making that happen. If they’re a storage room on the Red Force for a quickie kind of person? He’ll make that happen too. He considers his adaptability and ability to read others well a big attribute in providing for his partner.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

As much as he prefers a warm body in bed next to him, sometimes he’s at sea for long periods of time, and sometimes the lines he’s casting just don’t pull anything in. It happens to everyone. If he’s gotta handle himself, there’s no shame in that.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Shanks is into the idea of sharing his partner with someone else. Yeah, he’s had threesomes with casual partners, and it’s certainly fun, but that’s not what thrills him. If you’re lucky enough to achieve relationship status with Shanks, it means he trusts you to the ends of the earth, and part of what he likes about that trust is that he can share you with someone else and know you’ll always come back to him. He wants to watch you be pleasured by another, or watch you pleasure them, or have both of you pleasure him, or— anyway. He thinks you’re the hottest thing he’s ever seen, and he loves the idea of sharing that with someone else. (Yes, we all have the same thought for this kink. The person he has in mind is Beckman. Whether it’s purely the two of them pleasuring you or if they’re comfortable having fun together, he doesn’t really care. But he sees the way his vice captain looks at you sometimes, and he thinks with some talking he can convince his friend to join the two of you in his quarters.)

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

I mean, for Shanks nothing can beat a good old fashioned bed, but he’s adventurous. If you’ve got a new place to try, he’s likely willing to give it a chance as long as there’s little to no chance of being seen by non-consenting parties. He’s big on consent and doesn’t believe his being horny and wanting to fuck you supercedes someone else’s right to not be involved.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

For a fling, generally just existing and looking good is enough. But if you’re in a relationship? It’s the little things. He thinks watching you work on the ship is sexy, the way you pull the ropes and climb up the nets to furl the sails, or maybe you work with the rest of the crew to help make repairs. The Red Force is basically his baby and he loves watching you care for it. And if in the process you get a little sweaty, maybe the hem of your shirt rides up a little…well, maybe your captain suddenly requires your immediate assistance below deck.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Shanks is down for some light dirty talk, but he doesn’t like going too far into degradation territory. As mentioned above, as much as he enjoys experimenting with different locations, he has to know that ultimately wherever you end up doing it is private and the risk of being walked in on is slim to none.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

This guy gives like every day is Christmas. Nothing in the world makes him happier than seeing his partner squirm and moan while his mouth works its magic. He knows he has an exceptionally skilled tongue and his fingers always know just the right spots to hit. If you have a need, barring extreme circumstances, all you need to do is say the word and he’s there. He also loves receiving, but are we really surprised at this? He likes challenging himself to keep his eyes open when you go down on him because he loves watching you so much. If you can catch onto this, you'll have a great time trying to make him throw his head back.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

While he strongly believes there’s a time and a place for both, in a relationship, he wants to savor the feeling of you. That’s not to say he won’t rail you sometimes, but he likes to take his time with you when he’s able. If you’re on top, though, you can set the pace, he’s just happy to enjoy the view.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Sometimes the man just cannot keep his hand off of you. It can be stressful being a captain, and a good ten minutes of fun might be just what he needs to make it through. He also finds it really sexy when you come up to him all needy and begging for a few minutes with him. He’s usually more than happy to oblige.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Shanks is down to take risks in general, but it requires communication with his partner. He had a few rough experiences in his younger days where he jumped into something risky headfirst without a proper plan or communication, and it wasn’t great, so now he believes in taking the time to talk it out beforehand. As not-fun as that sometimes is, he always believes it’s worth it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Shanks can go for several rounds in a night and lasts a long (but not too long) time, but he does require some time to chill in between. At his age, he knows his limitations, but as a younger man he’d basically fuck himself into dehydration. Now he knows it’s not a competition, and if one round is all you go for, that’s okay.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Shanks is happy to bring toys into the bedroom if his partner wants, but he himself doesn’t maintain a collection.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Shanks loves to tease. He can sometimes get a little carried away, so unless you’ve previously discussed expectations around edging, you’ll have to let him know very clearly when you’ve had enough.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Shanks loves hearing his partners make noise, and he enjoys letting them know how good they make him feel. But the man for a long time was absolutely unabashed. It eventually got to the point where his senior officers, whose quarters are closest to his, threatened to mutiny if he didn’t keep it the fuck down. In hindsight, he’s kind of embarrassed by how annoying he was, putting his own pleasure over his crewmates’ comfort. But they worked it out, and Shanks is much more careful nowadays if he brings someone on board, or he’d prefer to go to their place if possible.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

For a man who likes to party, Shanks actually doesn’t really enjoy drunk sex. He enjoys when both he and his partner are fully present (though he’s been known to throw weed into the mix at times). If he’s on the prowl, he’ll cut himself off after a few drinks. If he’s not, he’ll allow himself to get drunk.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Shanks is actually quite average in length, around 5-6 inches, but a bit on the girthy side. He believes it’s not what you have, it’s what you do with it that matters, and he has never had a single complaint.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Shanks has a reputation for being a horndog. Ideally, he would have sex almost every day, but he knows that’s not realistic for a lot of people, and frankly, for himself. If you’re his long-term partner, he’ll want to do something with you at least a few times a week, whether it’s full-on sex, or just oral, or whatever.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Shanks is happy to go multiple rounds if you want to, but he’s also kind of like a machine. Insert coin (touching, kissing, or just your words) for more sex, otherwise the machine will shut down and he’ll be out like a light.

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#akagami no shanks #red hair shanks #akagami no shanks x reader #red haired shanks x reader #one piece x reader #one piece smut

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justyouraverageficwriter · 7 months

Text

Orange ~

Sana X M Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst (for the most part)

WC: 4.1K Words

Chapter 9: Keep Me in your Heart

A/N: Wrapping up Orange's story. No smut tho.

Reader –

“Now tell me, what are you planning to do?”

Sana was so serious in her tone, nothing of that respectful daughter demeanor, business-like and ready to hear the terms of a very unfavorable circumstance. The atmosphere was heavy inside your office, tension was high, thick and palpable. Both you and Sana have not been on good terms with her father, and then there was the hospital director, caught in the crossfire. You look at your girlfriend and admire her resolve, although it doesn’t come as a surprise now, she has been a fighter ever since you knew her, and it is clear she’ll fight this one too, even though you are doomed to lose. However, it is also clear that there is also vulnerability in her voice.

“I advise you to be calm, my dear daughter.”

You can already tell it’s not going to be easy, her father sounded too confident on the card he is holding. He cleared his throat, and took a seat on the couch, not in a hurry whatsoever. He is taking his time, maybe even enjoying the agony written all over your faces. He may be the father of the girl who means the world to you but you can’t help but curse him under your breath, he is giving you all the reasons to hate him, and probably also a little more. As it stands, it's you and Sana against the world.

“So I heard that the owner of the place you are staying needs a heart transplant. You know I can help you with that, Sana." Her father started his spiel with a smug face. He knew his gambit would finally pay off. "You see, this should not have been your problem, but you have so much love to give and you can't help but care." The grin on his face grew wider which made you clinch on your fist tighter. But deep inside you can't argue his logic. You view care and connections as unnecessary. It's one of the reasons why you opt to keep to yourself; before this orange haired girl changed your life at least.

"You know what you need to do, come home with me to Japan, and I'll make sure she'll have her new heart as soon as possible."

He acted so calm, so cool when he laid out his terms. Sana's father thought he had you both on a checkmate, a chokehold; and maybe he probably did. If you didn't hate him, you would for sure admire the man, respect his composure by not laughing hysterically because he had the upper hand. Although you think you didn't expect less from her father, it's really hard to run a hospital, especially if it's controlled by three big families. Well perhaps you do, you already do sound like it.

At that moment, you noticed your girlfriend sob. You've been focused on your own feelings to not be aware that tears are now falling on her face. Instinctively you wrapped your arms around her, she cried enough for the night. You hate her father for doing all this, but even more so you hate yourself for not being able to think of a solution; a way out. You just want to dig deep and find something inside the big brain of yours you always seem so confident about, but somehow the well just ran dry. It can't keep on giving it seems.

There was a brief pause inside your office, the kind that you could not be blamed for thinking the world stood still, and somehow time stops moving forward. It's not a moment of respite however, it's full of dread and uncertainties. Sana knows it, you know it, the odds are not in your favor. "I'll give you time to think, but remember time is of the essence if you want that landlady saved." Sana's father broke that silence with absolute conviction in his voice. He left the office with his shoulders high, and so was his spirit; he knew he had won. You and Mr. Cho's eyes met, and you could see that he is emphatic to your situation, but it's out of his hands too and there's nothing he can do about it. You gave him a smile of acknowledgement as he tapped you gently in the back, and he went out as well after that.

Your focus went back to Sana, and she's crying as she leans on your shoulders. But what more can you do? You just wrapped your arms around her and rubbed her back. "It's all going to be alright." Inside your head you are thinking, asking, do you really mean those words? Maybe not since you yourself are afraid of what will happen next, but it's all you can think of for now. And maybe she knows you are just spewing out words and not meaning them, because she cried even harder when she heard it.

–

Morning came, and you are still occupied with things that need sorting out. You notice your girlfriend roll over and wake up, making a mess of her orange hair. Normally, you would have found it cute but right now you feel a sinking feeling in your stomach. It's a completely different circumstance. "Did you have any sleep, Doc?" Her eyes puffed and her voice hoarse, as she asked you the minute her eyes found yours. It is clear she worries for you too.

"I'm fine, baby." You managed a weak smile. You've been up all night, trying to find answers, but all you could produce was the name of Mrs. Kang's nearest relative using hospital records. You also tried to find ways and cases that a patient was given the priority to receive a heart but that proved to be all for naught. Absent a personal donor pledging their hearts when they die to a specific person, given that the receiver is compatible with the organ; the only recourse is to sign up and be included in the waitlist.

Then you felt your girlfriend sitting on your lap, you realized your attention was never really on her but on your computer, on the things that addled your mind because you did not notice her walk towards you. Sana wrapped her arms around your neck and rested her head on your shoulders; and you always feel at peace when she does that. But there's a feeling of sorrow in her embrace, the kind that screams goodbye, the kind that is making the most out of the remaining time. Anyone can walk in your office and see the both of you and be called unprofessional but those things don't bother you now, the world will understand.

"I already found a relative who can help us with the paper works of the operation." You are just hoping she will see it as good news, praying silently that she will not see it as you are already giving up by thinking about the operation already. Sana tightened her arms around you and you already knew that she understood what it meant. "We don't have any other options, do we?" Her voice trailed off as she tried to finish her sentence. For the first time today, you shifted your attention fully to your girlfriend. "I want to be selfish, you know. I just want to run with you and escape all these." You pat the back of her head and run your fingers through her orange locks. You mean those words, but you know as well that it's impossible.

Sana immediately removes her head from your shoulders to look at you straight into your eyes. "Then let's go, hmm?" There's pleading in her teary gaze, she's desperate just like you that she'll take any alternative without really thinking.

"We can't, baby. I know you can't. You're not capable of leaving the ones you care about." You hate to be the bearer of the grounding news, but you have to; even if it means putting an end to your selfish desires. "We will just go back immediately the moment we try to leave because of our conscience.” You fixed her messy hair, it has become your habit. After a long pause, of just both of you staring at each other, Sana went back to lean on your shoulders, vulnerable, defeated, devastated for the lack of choices. And your heart goes out with her.

Sana –

Sana is in a state of trance, her eyes are fixed on the face of her still unconscious landlady. In the background is a beeping noise of the electronic vital sign monitors, constantly reminding her that she too still exists, even though she thinks her mind has stopped functioning. As she holds the hands of the woman that serves as her guardian in a foreign country, Sana came to terms with what you said earlier. She really could not just run and leave it all behind. Unbeknownst to her, a pool of tears starts to accumulate again in her eyes. Perhaps, the choice is crystal clear now even if it means you two being away from each other. Sana resigns herself to let it all out again and cry but is stopped by the sound of the opening door. She immediately wiped her tears with her bare hands and tried to fix herself before turning to see who the visitor was.

“Unnie.” Dahyun’s head peeked on the small opening of the door, with her signature smile. “Doc said you haven’t eaten yet. Do you want to join us? Your boyfriend and Doc Jun Han still have a doctors meeting, and Sang Hun has a lecture to attend so it’s just us with Jihyo-unnie.” The anesthetist smiled brightly as she completed her invitation, obviously trying to exude positivity. Sana finishes to wipe her eyes dry and continues to fix herself, she can’t say no and frankly speaking she craves some company too.

Sana noticed that the two ladies tried to talk normally to her as the three of them settled on a table, careful to not bring up the topics related to the things that happened. No one seems to be giving her some weird looks in the hospital so she is thankful that the news didn’t really go out. Yet she could not shake off the feeling that it was a bit strange, normally Sana expected to be bombarded with inquiries but both of them talked about completely random things. "Did Doc tell the both of you not to ask me questions?" She just had to make sure, to confirm her suspicions. Both Dahyun and Jihyo awkwardly looked at each other but ultimately smiled in defeat and admitted that it was indeed the case.

"Are we that obvious, Sana?" Jihyo asked in defeat to which she nodded in response. "It's just highly unusual. You two don't want to be late with the news." Dahyun's mouth dropped in shock when Sana just casually calls them nosy but in a more sophisticated way. Then her lips formed a small smile in amusement, it's the first time she did for the day. It's just friendly banter, and the three just laugh about it.

"Did Doc fill you in with the details?" Sana considered both women more than just colleagues now so she decided to talk about the situation even though it is hard at the moment. Jihyo shaked her head."I only know about your landlady's situation, that she needs a new heart." Dahyun echoed Jihyo's response, also saying that she only knew the same information. "Doc seems to be avoiding the topic entirely so I didn't really pry and ask more." Dahyun added. Sana immediately thought about you. Of course it's hard for you too, you just act tough because being a doctor requires you to be, and as a boyfriend it requires you even more.

"This is basically saying goodbye." Sana tried to hold back her tears as she felt like a hand grips her heart again. It is heavy and it keeps on getting heavier that she closed her eyes and the flood gates of tears are now open. Concerned, both women at the table with her scoots closer. Jihyo sitting on the same side gently rubs her back while Dahyun offers tissue. However Sana gathered herself and proceeded to fill them in with the specifics, of how her father wants her to go back to Japan in exchange of securing a heart, of how there is no other choice, of how you two will be apart.

---

Sana looked at you, deep asleep. Probably the only place of peace amidst all the chaos. She examined every single line on your face and she was sure she memorized them all by now. The road to this very moment has not been easy, and Sana thought you deserve the rest you are currently enjoying. It has been your first taste of sleep ever since all of these ensued. She has been itching to touch your face and kiss your lips, but she was also afraid she might wake you up.

She looked back on the long day you both had, on the emotions and struggles. You both wanted to spend the remaining time together. Even though both of you avoided talking about it, not wanting to make it hard while you are still together. But somehow Sana knew that you also knew that it is just a matter of time, that you need to do what is needed to save a life. She involuntarily sniffs as her nose and eyes swelled again, for which she panicked a bit thinking that might wake you up but fortunately didn’t. Sana then took the chance to slowly get off the bed, careful to not disturb you in the slightest. She fetched a letter from the pocket of her coat, and placed it on your lone bedside table making sure you would see it. Then she took an all look around your room, a bittersweet smile. So many great memories she will forever cherish. And lastly, her eyes landed on you and God knows how much she wants to go back to your side. The few inches apart has been such a torture already.

Reader (Three weeks later) --

You opened the door to see Mrs. Kang sitting up looking outside the window. This is the first time ever since the operation that she has been strong enough to do so. You know she is deep in thought and you hesitated to interrupt her, but you need to make your rounds to your patients and it is her turn. You carefully knocked on the open door to not surprise her, and as she slowly turned around you gave her your best effort for a warm smile.

“It’s much better that you stay lying down, Mrs. Kang. Recover as much strength as possible. The more you do that, the faster you can get out of the hospital.” Normally it takes an average of two to three weeks to recover from a heart transplant. But given her age, you decided to monitor her more than that. She also showed signs of slow recovery so you couldn’t take the risk.

You quickly assisted her in lying back down and proceeded to check on her vitals. “How are you feeling, Mrs. Kang? Not feeling any more discomfort in your chest area?” The old lady slowly shook her head in response. “Your vital signs are well within expected now so I am happy to say we are getting good results. Give it like a week and I can consider releasing you. Sounds good, Ms. Kang?”

“Thank you, Doc.”

“Alright, and don’t forget you can always tell your attending nurse if ever you feel or need something.” You take a final look and give instructions to her own nurse since no relative has even taken the initiative to care, really tragic. You gave her a smile again as you were getting ready to leave when she held your hand to stop you. “Would you allow me a couple of questions, Doctor?”

“Of course.” You obliged after much thought, you were debating internally if it was the right time to let her in on the news. But with her determined eyes, you knew it would just be wrong to not let her know, to deny her of the truth.

You pulled a vacant chair and sat in front of the frail woman, thinking that the conversation would not end that quickly. She looks so much better than before her operation, visibly pain free and presumably getting quite adjusted to her new heart. The heart that has so much weight for you and a particular someone. You immediately remembered how you cried your own heart and eyes out after the successful operation, given how much it meant to you. The hospital director voiced his concern to you, suggesting that you should let other doctors perform the operation because emotions can get in the way, but you have to do it. You just have to make sure that it’s gonna be all worth it, and besides it’s the very last wish she said to you. And today, somehow sitting across her landlady, you realized you did just that. But as for the question if it was worth it, your heart is not that professional after all.

“You are Sana’s boyfriend, right? She always talks about you.” Mrs. Kang reaches out to hold your hand again, soft and gentle.

“Yes, her boyfriend.” It’s technically true, you did not separate that night; in fact not much was really said aside from a couple of lines. Yet you still hesitated, it has been almost a month that you haven’t seen her, not in any shape or form of conversation wahtsoever too.

“I haven’t seen her visit, she told me she works in the same hospital as you. I would very much like to see her.” There is a certain anticipation in her expression, you can clearly see how Sana means to her as well. However, you hate to be the bearer of the disappointing news.

“Sana-” you paused to clear your throat, you once again feel the grip that very fact holds upon your heart. Just her name solicits so much emotion from you. Yet you have to gather yourself and persevere, keep a straight face as much as possible. You have to soften the news to her, she is your patient after all. “Sana is back in Japan, Mrs. Kang. But don’t worry she already knew that you had a successful operation.” The last sentence was a lie. In truth, you don’t have an inkling of news about her, none whatsoever. Not even knowing if she safely arrived. Although, you thought it’s safe to assume that she does, you want to assume. And besides you really could use that particular white lie.

You saw the change in expression in Mrs. Kang's face. From hopeful anticipation to visible sadness. You didn’t do a great job of what you intended to do. "But you don't have to worry, all expenses have been taken care of too already." You tried to distract her with positive news. Yet you know, just like your heart, only a certain someone can fill that void.

“Can I talk to her at least?” That request was full of desperation, somehow it reflects your heart's desire. You would give the world to just have the chance to hear her sweet bright voice.

“I’ll make sure to let you talk to her once she calls, I’m sure she’ll be glad to hear you well and healthy. But right now, you just need to think about one thing, and that is recovering.” You immediately stood up, desperately wanting to get out of the conversation. You don’t want to lie anymore, but most of all of you just couldn’t hold on to your tears if you keep on talking about Sana. So with the last bit of perseverance, you remained professional. Telling her that you have to go to check on other patients, it’s the last lie you will tell her today.

–

You head to your office after completing your afternoon rounds, you just want to be alone. Unknowingly, you started to go back to your old self, loner, grumpy and unapproachable. And you realized that when you opened the door of your office hearing some laughter but it completely went silent when they saw you walk in the door, well except for one person who was confused about the situation. For the first time in what feels like forever, there was some semblance of joy in the corners of your office; the office that was once a well of happiness when Sana shared it with you and made it her own. Somehow in your heart, you wish she was one of the visitors you have but that is just wishful thinking of course.

“Are you this strict on them that they can’t laugh when you’re around, Oppa?” Your sister was ready to scold you. Jihyo and Dahyun immediately react that it was not the case but Tzuyu’s eyes were fixed on you.

“What are you doing here?” You disregard your sister’s question. However she was not having it.

“My sister can be a bit feisty.” You smiled at your colleagues. The two of them laughed again, looking more relaxed. They already understood you are a man of a few words. “It’s the first time I saw someone you can square up to you aside from–” Dahyun stopped on her sentence and looked away, conscious about what she almost did. Of course you picked up on it, in fact everyone did as Jihyo was shooting some lethal side eye to the anesthetist. However, you decided to let it go, nothing really good will happen if you mind it. “Will you excuse us, ladies?”

Both Jihyo and Dahyun of course obliged and immediately headed out the door after taking their leave. You sat down on your chair, legs gave out as soon as you reached it. Perhaps you are now done acting tough, you are with someone again where you are not afraid of showing vulnerability. “You didn’t answer my question, little sis. What brought you here?”

“Just checking on you. Anything wrong with that?” Tzuyu took a seat on the chair in front of your table. There was a pause after, yet somehow you know she didn’t expect any kind of answer. “You should stay with us for the meantime, you know. It will do you good to have company.” Ever since Tzuyu and your father met, they have been catching up so fast with each other’s life up to the point that she now lives in his house. You can see that your sister is happy so you are just as happy for her. Her happiness should not be hindered just because you still have your wounds.

“I’m doing fine, Tzuyu-ya.”

“Fine, I brought some food by the way. You should eat it. I won’t linger long, I still need to visit my shop.” She immediately ran to your side and gave you a hug.

“You can tell your father, I might invite him for some drinks.” You told her after the hug.

“He will be happy to hear that.”

–

The next morning rolled around and you woke up as the sunlight from your windows slowly creeped up on your eyes. Every morning has been pretty much the same ever since that night. Just like as you recalled, the first thing that grabbed your attention is the letter waiting for you to be read. And without fail ever since that morning, you reached out for it and unfolded the piece of paper that brings you both hope and sadness; the piece of paper that she left her heart with. Then you start to read again, each line somehow feels like it's the first time you ever read it:

You know I love you, and I will always do.

I’m such a coward for choosing to do it this way. But I know I wouldn’t be able to do this with proper goodbyes. I know it would be impossible for me to go seeing you cry the moment I leave. So allow me to go like this, while you are peacefully asleep.

This is not goodbye. Keep me in your heart until the day that we will see each other again. Promise me that I will still be your Orange.

Lastly, I will go because it is the right thing to do. Because you and I both know we can’t live if we took the selfish path. So let us make it worth it, promise me you will save her. Do all you can, I know you will.

I have so many things to say, but let’s just talk about them when we see each other again.

You know I love you, and I will always do.

Yours,

Orange

-----------------------------------------------------

Fin.

#twice #minatozaki sana #fanfic #fanfiction #twice sana #sana fluff #sana angst #orange

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m1d-45 · 1 year

Text

in excess

cut content from here, but to elaborate slightly..

desperation and fear have already started to push him towards the mindset of every action being one that advances towards your forgiveness, and it wouldn’t be healthy if he started to think of himself as xiao does. not that he is your responsibility, of course, but such a prestigious man tearing himself apart for scraps is likely to have negative effects on the both of you.

-> warnings: spoilers for liyue archon quest, xiao doesn’t think of himself as a person, blood + minor depiction of violence in zhongli’s, he mentions dying for you

-> lowercase intended!

xiao.

utterly heartbroken.

he was refined over the years to be a weapon of war, to be ruthless and efficient, to neutralize threats as swiftly as possible and keep his charge from having to lift even a finger. at first, his charge was liyue, and he performed with everything he had. and then it was you- or perhaps it always was.

and then he failed you.

he failed to be there when you needed him, he failed to raise his blade to block the strikes landed against you, he failed in his one purpose. he failed to answer when you called, failed to be your steel, and now he fears he’s lost that chance forever. after all, he hasn’t heard you once since your slaughter, and now he’s lost. he’s a warrior without a war, a soldier without a general. a weapon with no wielder.

a blade with no master

he imagines that if he had a soul, it would be screaming.

his karma is overwhelming, sometimes, the black chains digging into his skin. karma from those whose lives he’s ruined, yes, but also karma from you. karma from all of his failures, karma from every single mistake he’s ever made, and none feel heavier than yours.

he makes attempts to protect liyue—he’d hate to fail twice, he doesn’t think he could take it—but he’s distracted, now. distracted because he’s always listening for one voice in particular, for a chance to redeem himself if only slightly.

(a weapon shouldn’t need to prove itself, his mind cries. a weapon should always be at its owner’s side, reliable and ever-present.)

when you venture out with morax, he’s never far. he sees where you’re going before you even think it, and is moving ahead, clearing the path and leaving before you can see him. he’s determined to do this right, at least, because if he can’t be your weapon then he will do everything in his power to ensure you never need to touch one.

the vigilant yaksha earns his name wherever you go, always just outside of your line of sight. even if there’s nothing, if he knows the area well enough that he can be certain your path will be clear of any danger, he keeps one hand on his polearm at all times. he has failed you once, and is not eager to do so again.

he is your blade, even if by proxy, and will dedicate every deadly arc to you and your safety. he will promise all that he is to ensure that you and everything you care for are safe. he is yours, your weapon, your tool to be used, and will fight tooth and nail to ensure it stays that way.

he will be your sword.

zhongli desires little more than your approval.

he was once a prideful god, only ever tempered instead of cooled. he had once vehemently denied your existence, refusing to attribute any of his accomplishments to anybody but himself. he refused to accept that you had crafted everything he’d painstakingly made, refused to believe you had done anything he knew he had.

over his millennia of living, of course, he had come to terms with his hubristic nature. he could remember the person he was without flinching, and found refuge in the fact that he knew better now. the shrines he once scowled at were now adorned with his offerings, the prayers he used to roll his eyes at now have his voice joining the choir. now, he looks back upon his previous self not with disdain, but with something akin to pity. to feel the need to obsessively carve out a place for yourself, to refuse to acknowledge the circumstance that put you there… how sadly he had lived.

when he felt your presence for the first time, he was swept up into a gale of joy. to be seen by his god, to be worth your attention despite the atrocities that filled his past was much more than he could ever dream of. at best, he’d hoped for an acceptance of his change. an acceptance of who he was now, of the effort he’d put in. at best, he’d hoped you could find some joy within the city that he’d carved from rock, that the people he’d fostered would make you happy.

and then his people had betrayed you.

and then he had joined them in their heresy.

he had pushed past his instincts to protect who he thought was you, he had pushed past the light that erupted within him to defend what he thought was your honor, all while going against everything that he’d honored.

loyalty, shattered as he’d drawn his blade.

justice, torn as he’d brought it down.

your image, broken when you bled.

he remembers with sickening clarity when he’d received the news, remembered the dawning horror that, even as zhongli, he could not escape the legacy left by morax.

a legacy stained with bloodshed, but not one he’d ever expect to be touched by yours.

he’d spent many days after that hidden away, at an old shrine of yours in the mountains that was only ever visited by him. he’d knelt at the stone monument, some of the eons-old dirt washing away as he cried. he couldn’t be there for the execution of the traitor, he couldn’t bear to see anything resembling your visage, not when the memory of his crime was so fresh.

as morax, he had lived for nothing but war. as rex lapis, he had lived for his people.

but as zhongli, he had lived for you.

he had lived to atone for his past, had lived to express his remorse in any way that he could, passing on souls to meet you with his funeral work. he breathed your teachings, his heart beat not with blood but with adoration for you, for your eternal patience with him as you waited for him to eventually return for him.

he didn’t cry his own tears. he cried yours, the ones that must have been shed when you realized you let a monster into your welcoming home of a heart.

at first, he was afraid to be near you, afraid that his sinful hands would betray you once more. he allowed himself to be in the same room as you, to pretend to read as he instead recited prayers that had no place on his tongue, but even that made his heart ache. he was in the same position as before, on his knees and begging for forgiveness, but now with even less reason to be granted it.

had he ever had it in the first place? or were you wise, clever in your actions, making him think he was forgiven before dealing his punishment?

he didn’t want to think so, but couldn’t help but think that the pain in his chest whenever he saw you was worse than any physical lashing. at this point, he’d rather you did hurt him physically, just so he could know when his penance was being paid. he would sit, happily, awaiting anything you thought was right. he didn’t deserve the blessing of your touch, but tangible evidence that he was, however slowly, making progress towards repentance was worth any steel. even if you found him unable to be saved, if you refused to touch him even with an iron edge, he would turn his blade upon himself. to die for you would be an honor.

perhaps that was why you never asked it of him. an ending to his pain would set him free from it, of course.

every time you sat he had to fight not to move himself to the floor. to even assume he could be of equal position- his poor jade heart cracked. but the first time he had done so you were confused, almost horrified once he’d explained himself. you’d tried to do the same and he’d barely had the time to react and catch you before you hit the floor, only regretting it when you’d winced at his grip.

perhaps that was why you kept him around, why you lived in his house. to give him a sense of equality only to rip it away and remind him of his place.

he didn’t want to think you would do that, but then he’d remember what he did, and… surely, he deserved far worse.

when you asked him to take you out, he was elated. bliss bubbled under his skin even as he ensured you would enjoy yourself, keeping track of any flowers you seemed to like and steering you in the direction of more. he kept watch for threats, human or otherwise, geo humming beneath his feet, waiting for his call to shield you. the dust in the air swept away any bugs that could hurt you while letting the harmless ones cross your path, every single connection he had used for you.

walking through the city was a bit more stressful. the air was cleaner, and anybody could be an enemy. he found himself on edge more often, always looking for a space he could summon a pillar incase he needed to shield you.

it had been a guard outside the ministry of civil affairs.

he saw the guard see through your disguise and start to approach and had immediately moved around you to block him. any defense the guard had was shut down quickly with strict words, wanting to get this over with before the other millelith noticed. civilians started to turn, and he could see you shift under their stares, stepping closer to him.

he had to protect you.

his next words cut off whatever the guard had to say—something referring to the qixing? he’d have to get in contact with lady ningguang later, then—but he doesn’t care, already taking a step away. you follow, something he is grateful for, and he stalls a step so he can put a hand on your back to guide you through the small crowd that has formed.

his glove barely ghosts over your shirt but he can feel you tense anyway, see the hike in your shoulders as you speed up slightly to get away, and his heart cracks further.

when did he assume you would want him touching you? when did he think he had the right to try?

his jaw sets and he keeps his hand further away but still around you, a loose illusion of a protective barrier. he had no right to lay his hand on you, not after what he’s done. he hasn’t earned even the thought of it.

his crimes were too heavy, heavier upon his soul than that guards. he, somebody who had betrayed you twice, had less of a chance at forgiveness than any other sinner that didn’t take advantage of your trust. even as he kept you safe from them, he had to remember that it didn’t absolve him. he had an eternity to pay before you would allay his debt, yes, but he could still strive for it. he could do what he could, and shelter you in his home from those that hurt you.

he’d defend you from anything, including himself.

he will be your shield.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #sagau zhongli #sagau xiao #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #<- once more hesitant on these ones #but they feel right

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lulu2992 · 5 months

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Another “old” drawing!

John has something very important to say, something he hasn’t told anyone in years (or maybe ever; he can’t remember). It’s a short, simple sentence, but also a surprisingly hard one to say, so before Taylor actually hears it, he wants to practice...

Full story and context under the cut :)

So, basically, at this point in Taylor’s story, life is hard.

Because of the truce that was negotiated between Eden’s Gate and the Resistance, Hope County is now living in relative peace, at least for the moment. But for the Deputy who made it possible, that peace comes at a heavy cost.

The same people who used to sing her praises and count on her to make things better now (understandably) feel betrayed, hurt, and are angry at her for sparing John, so they either awkwardly avoid her and talk behind her back, or are openly aggressive and contemptuous. Some shame her for “using her body to buy peace”, even though that’s not quite true (they aren’t there yet in their relationship, and the cult has rules anyway).

And despite the fact that, because of the circumstances, she’s now closer to Eden’s Gate than she is to the Resistance, not all cultists trust her. Of course, they listen to Joseph, who said he had faith in Taylor, but some still (also understandably) remain cautious and are worried for their Herald in the Holland Valley. Is it safe to welcome the Deputy or does that heathen have ulterior motives? What if she’s only trying to use and pervert John so she can more easily destroy him and the Project?

For peace, the Junior Deputy had to sacrifice her reputation, has lost many of her friends, and now feels judged by almost everyone in Hope County, even some of those who still tolerate her. So yeah, life is hard.

But paradoxically, the more upset people are at her for growing closer to John, the harder their hatred pushes her into his arms. Soon, the Baptist becomes one of the few people she really trusts and feels allowed to be vulnerable around.

That afternoon, after a particularly difficult moment in Fall’s End, she drove to Seed Ranch, resolutely walked through the front door without saying a word, barely acknowledging the few cultists on her way, went straight to John… and burst into tears the moment she put her arms around him. After the initial surprise, he signaled to the confused guards that everything was okay, that they could leave the room, and just hugged her back in silence.

“Everyone hates me,” she said when her sobbing quieted down and she was finally able to speak.

“No… No, not everyone,” he replied. “There are... There are people who love you. You know that, don’t you?”

She loosened her embrace to look at him.

“That’s why you came here, right?” he asked, smiling tenderly.

She smiled back, but soon she noticed he seemed… uncomfortable. Powerless, even; unsure of what to say and how to deal with the situation. Suddenly, she felt guilty... She had come here because she needed a shoulder to cry on, but she hadn’t realized her sadness would affect him too.

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have come here and burdened you with that. I just- You probably have things to do, I should go...”

“No, wait!” he quickly responded, his hands tightening around her waist. “You can stay, it’s fine.”

She looked at him again, and he nodded before adding, “It’s fine. Really.”

She knew he wasn’t just offering her to spend the rest of the day at the ranch; he wanted her to, so she happily accepted.

That night, she fell asleep where she truly felt home: in John’s arms. Unbeknownst to her, for the first time, he told her something he knew he was ready to tell her, but not quite for her to hear yet; not before he was certain he could do it properly.

As she was peacefully sleeping, he whispered, “I love you.”

#my deputy #taylor rook #the deputy #john seed #john seed x deputy #my art #fan art #traditional art #digital coloring #drawn in december 2022 #only one ‘old’ drawing left!#story: 'that fic I’ll never write'#but wait... am I writing... fanfiction now??#the incredible adventures of john 'emotionally constipated perfectionist' seed #also considering what the fandom is reportedly dealing with these days... yay I can’t wait for this to be copy-pasted!#far cry 5

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inbarfink · 3 months

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Okay, this is probably just me being Very Silly but… I think Roleswap AUs are a lot of fun, not just like… as a character design exercise thingy, but as a character exploration and analysis exercise… thingy.

Like, you know, it’s a game of ‘what would this character do if they were in that situation that this other character was in?’, ‘how much would change if those were the circumstances of this character’s life?’, ‘how much do you have to change about a character to make them work in this specific narrative role - and how much you just cannot change without making the character unrecognizable?’

So I’ve had a lot of fun playing around with my Adventure Time Roleswap AUs (you can get a better look at them with the AT Roleswap Tag on my blog).

And I’ve been thinking if I could do a similar thing for Invader Zim - both because IZ has these clear Four Leads that you can swap around very neatly (actually much more than AT does lol) and… mostly because I’ve been going through yet another of my Literally Can’t Think of Anything but Invader Zim Phases and Roleswap AUs offer an exciting new opportunity to Rotate These Characters in My Head.

(For the sake of clarity, I’ll be using ‘the Alien’, ‘the Kid’, ‘the Robot’ and ‘the Sibling’ when referring to the Narrative Roles of Zim, Dib, GIR and Gaz respectively. So if I’m talking about a Dib-Zim Roleswap I’ll be talking about Zim-as-the-Kid and Dib-as-the-Alien. It might lead to weird turns-of-phrase later down the line, like Sibling!Dib when Dib is obviously always a sibling - but at least I hope it’ll be less clunky and more clear that way lol)

So, yeah, I had some Thoughts and Considerations about the idea of a Zim-Dib GIR-Gaz Roleswap, but all-in-all things fall into place pretty easily. Playing on Dib’s relatively-more-heroic role and his only-sane-man shtick by having him as a kinda Irken Rebel - he might still have the interest in magic and supernatural things that Mainstream Irken Science does not acknowledge, but mostly he’s seeing as ‘crazy’ for such ridiculous concepts as ‘conquering the galaxy just for the sake of it is Bad Actually’ and ‘maybe it’s kinda stupid to pick our leaders based entirely on how tall they are’ and ‘the Tallest are obviously blatantly figureheads and the Control Brains are running the show’.

And to add insult to injury, it’s not just that his fellow Irkens don’t listen to his ideas - it’s that they don’t even have enough respect to treat him as an actual dangerous enemy of the state. Instead he’s seen as a crackpot and a joke. He’s basically constantly avoiding the obvious Existence Evaluation he deserves because the Tallests keep procrastinating it and pushing it back in favor of more ‘important things’. And, like, it’s not like Dib wants to be executed by the state for the crime of free thought… but it’ll be nice to know that he’s seen as a real threat.

And of course while he’s better than most Irkens at the whole ‘Space Imperialism is Bad Actually’ thing, he still hasn’t unlearned all of the Irken propaganda about their own superiority (he’s got a Green Savior Complex basically) … and also he's got his own complex about his own superiority. Like, yeah, he’s infuriated by his people’s obsession with height because it’s a stupid illogical prejudice… but also specifically because it makes people disrespect him. When his two lazy and stupid smeethood bullies were made supreme leaders of the empire that was kinda the last straw for him.

Oh, in this AU the Tallests are basically the Same except their colors are switched. So now Red is the sillier and dumber one and Purple is the relatively more competent one. And on one hand Dib is the only Irken who seems to understand how thoroughly unfit to rule these two clowns are but he is also kinda obsessed with making them acknowledge his superiority even though he knows their opinion shouldn’t matter and thus making him the biggest clown of them all, in a way.

I’m still ironing out the details of how he gets to Earth. Something about using his hacking skills to infiltrate Operation Impending Doom 2 to try and sabotage it from within. Then, like, maybe the Earth ‘assignment’ was a trap laid by the Control Brains to get him out of the way. Or maybe he picked Earth because although the Empire sees it as unimportant - Dib thinks it has powerful arcane significance that makes it the perfect foundation for his resistance against the Empire or something like that.

I’m mostly thinking which of these is the snappiest and easiest to explain, but I do enjoy the idea of it being a trap cause it creates the possibility of a “the Alien discovers their plan is a big fat lie” scenario like in ETF, but rather than being utterly despondent and depressed like Canon Zim - Alien!Dib will be joyous and jubilantly validated at the idea that he was considered a notable enough threat to get out of the way with such an elaborate trick.

And Zim as the son of Professor Membrane is also a fun concept to consider. It’s very funny to think of him as still a megalomaniac trying to take over the world while also being just a human kid. He wants to defeat Dib because he sees him as a threat for his world domination plans (maybe not even understanding that Dib is not actually a world-conquering rival) and cause he believes that if he exposes or kills Dib he can get his hands on the advanced alien tech, which is the edge he needs in order to take over the world.

You can justify his world-conquering-obsession as, like, him growing up under the pressure of living up to his father’s legacy and he figured the only way to escape Membrane’s shadow is to go totally against everything he stands for, or that he’s subconsciously seeking revenge against the world and humanity for taking away his father's love and attention, or that he’s hoping that if he becomes an Actual Threat to the world, his dad will have to pay attention to him for a change ,or maybe it’s just ‘Zim is Just Weird Like That’. Or probably some combination of all of the above.

GIR and Gaz slot pretty effortlessly into their new roles. Sibling!GIR could be literally Zim’s little brother, or like, some genetically engineered dog monster Professor Membrane made in an afternoon. But personality-wise there’s no need to change much outside of maybe needing to tone a human version of GIR down just a tad because a human child has some biological, legal and physical limitations that GIR would otherwise lack.

Robot Gaz is basically like ‘Dib stole and reprogrammed a SIR Unit to have Free Will, still somehow struggles with the idea that Free Will means she can disobey him as well’. Pretty much as soon as they landed on Earth she acclimated better than Dib did and developed a fondness for Earth’s junk food and video games. She generally does her own thing and doesn’t really listen to Dib’s schemes to develop Earth’s defenses or harness some sort of supernatural forces against the Irken Empire or foil Zim’s plans or whatever - but mostly because disagrees with Dib’s methods and attitude rather than his goals.

She does prefer the Earth over the Irken Empire and she does have some affection for Dib despite also finding him so annoying. She just refuses to cooperate with plans she thinks are frivolous or stupid or plainly just for Dib’s ego. When push really comes to shove, when she actually believes Dib and/or the Earth is in danger, she would come to help… usually.

So yeah, that Roleswap works pretty smoothly, but the problem starts if I try to do the two other sides of this Roleswap cube. the 'Invader GIR' and 'Invader Gaz' scenarios. This is where I get stuck... And the thing isn’t that the characters aren’t complex and versatile enough - I actually think the IZ characters are pretty multidimensional in their ridiculousness.

It’s just that Dib and Zim’s psychology are really designed for them to play the roles of Protagonist and Antagonist - they’re very much defined to their very core by how driven and motivated they are and how much they want to take center stage. Zim's so self-obsessed he pretty much has to take over any narrative you place him in. And like 50% of Dib’s psyche can be summarized as a terminal case of Main Character Syndrome. Meanwhile, while GIR and Gaz have their own motivations - but GIR’s are generally too wild, capricious and frivolous to actually motivate a Plot, while Gaz’s very much defined by how mundane all of her motivations are. So you really have to work extra hard to make sure Zim and Dib, even when relegated to the sidekick role, don’t still find a way to steal the show.

Honestly, doing Zim as the Robot is actually something I think I can make work. If you just play up a few of Zim’s wackier elements - and especially his blind obedience and dedication to his superiors (which in this case would be Alien GIR), I think you can get a version of Zim that is recognizably Zim while still sticking mainly to the Wacky Comic Relief role.

(And for the record, Robot Zim is a modified SIM Unit, which is a Standard Issue Minion. What does the Z stand for? The Z stands for ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM, obviously!)

Sibling Dib was kind of a weird journey for me because at first I thought I had an easy solution for it - just Bill-fy Dib! Keep all of Dib’s bolster and UFO obsession stuff, but minus the fact that he can actually recognize an alien standing in front of his face. Probably because he just doesn’t want to admit his sister found an alien before he did - he just refuses to believe GIR is an alien and going off his wild-goose chases against his own phony conspiracy theories.

But… I think that idea is, like, too effective at keeping Dib away from the limelight? I mean, that would basically relegate him exclusively to Comic Relief and someone Gaz could have conversations with and very little plot relevancy. And I think we should be able to do better by Sibling Dib. Some way to keep him away from the Main Character Role, but still have him as a relevant and useful character from time-to-time?

Putting GIR in any sort of lead role is the much bigger problem. Like I said - GIR just too deranged and too uncontrollable to hold most plotlines, even on Invader Zim. And I can imagine grounding him just a tad, you can do, like ‘alien Invader comes to earth in order to conquer it - realizes he likes junk food and stupid TV so much that he doesn’t want to do it anymore, but still lacks any real concerns for human life or morality’. You know, I’m imagining wacky misadventures that are basically in the spirit of ‘what if SpongeBob SquarePants lacked any sense of right and wrong’ - and that will be a viable narrative, but I’m worried it’s getting too far away from the sheer id-like essence of GIR.

On the Kid corner, obviously you can make narratives in which Gaz and her motivations move the story along - Invader Zim Canon did it multiple times. It’s more of a question of how much we can keep this up. Like, okay, this is purely me and my stupid personal hang-ups. But what I’m looking for is an AU that really feels like it could be its own standalone show, and obviously it’s not going to be the same as Canon IZ - like the Invader Dib roleswap is going to have a slightly more standard heroic narrative compared to the total Villain Protagonist setup of the canon - but I want to make sure everyone fulfill their new Narrative Roles to the level you can imagine a Variety of Episode Plots that fit the 11-minutes-and-occasional-double-length format of IZ.

And with Gaz being really defined by the fact that she cares more for being left alone or the mundane things in life or enacting terrible revenge in the name of the mundane things in life than for any of the sci-fi shit or saving the world- it kinda limits the amount of plots she should be willing to participate in and/or requires a lot of extra Set-Up to explain why she’s emotionally involved in the plot.

I mean, I can certainly imagine a story about a hedonistic would-be Invader making a bizarre harebrained scheme to get his hands on a ridiculous amount of tacos which somehow spirals into attracting the ire of some scarily competent and spiteful little girl by, like, interrupting her Super Mario Odyssey speedrun or something and so she causally takes down his whole operation. But that sort of setup works better for a sort of hyperformulastic show like ‘Phineas and Ferb’- and ‘Phineas and Ferb’ is lovely, but Invader Zim really benefits from a wide variation of plots and episode structure.

(That’s also the problem with a Tallests-Zim Membrane-Dib roleswap. Although the idea of an P&F style sketch starring the two lazy goofball Invaders who are just trying to get their incredibly obnoxious and megalomaniac boss off their back and are repeatedly accidently foiled by a brilliant hypercompetent child genius who also somehow remains consistently oblivious to the fact that they are aliens trying to take over the world is very Fun and I should probably do something Separate with it later)

And then there’s the idea of a Zim-Gaz GIR-Dib roleswap which is… I don’t even know where to start. That’s pretty much what that one body-switch-themed guest issue of the IZ Comics used basically because it’s the one that breaks the show’s premise the most thoroughly. The show’s most ambitious and least competent character swapped with its least ambitious and most competent and the most grounded character is swapped with the most unhinged. I am still really stuck on how to make it work?

The only real idea I have for now is maybe taking inspiration from Alien Gaz from that aforementioned comic issue’s characterization - not of Gaz-as-Zim, but of Zim-as-Gaz. Something about an Alien Invader who is genuinely invested in conquering the planet but also she keeps getting distracted? It’s hard to really say when, like I said, that’s really the only thing I have right now.

Perhaps I need to think about all of this a bit more, or perhaps the real lesson of this Character Exploration Thingy is just that those kinda roleswaps just don’t work with the Invader Zim cast?

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cherienymphe · 4 months

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Sarah is pissing me off in TD because it feels like shes trying to convince reader to leave Rafe without acknowledging that it’s Rafe like ??? I get that Rafe is an asshole and she can’t approach him, but babe like what do you think the implications are when you have to call your brother to ask his permission for his girlfriend to hang out with you??? Like she understands that her brother is abusive on some level and I kind of hate the way she talks down to reader - like reader doesn’t understand that she’s in a bad situation.

Idk I might just be personally triggered from being in an abusive relationship and people in my life treating me like I couldn’t understand the guy I was with was abusive. Like people put more pressure on the victim to leave without realizing the circumstances that make us stay

This is understandable but nobody thinks Rafe is abusive. At least not physically. Verbal and emotional abuse is usually never taken as seriously and tbh that's what they think the extent of it is. Sarah just thinks he's a bit of a controlling asshole. She has no idea the reader is in genuine fear of her life

#asks

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cosmicjoke · 1 year

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I feel like, when people talk about Levi’s choices, particularly in regard to his choice to let Erwin die and to give Armin the serum, they always frame their arguments in this sort of black and white, all or nothing perspective that completely ignores Levi’s nuanced thinking as a character. They’ll say shit like “Levi chose Erwin over humanity” or “Levi cares more about humanity than any, single life”, and it’s not either.

Levi always chooses to do, in any given situation, whatever his heart tells him is right. He isn’t weighing ideologies when he makes a choice, or moral questions, or thinking of abstract concepts like “the greater good” or worrying over impossible to know ramifications or consequences or questions of ‘what if’. He bases his decisions off of what his instinct tells him, whatever choice will sit most right in his heart. He never approaches any situation with a black and white view, but rather adapts to and acknowledges that each situation will present different circumstances that call for a unique approach and thinking. He knows that you can’t treat everything with the same solution, or with the idea of any kind of uncompromising moral certainty, and that not every situation is as simple as “the greater good” vs “the individual good” . What Levi shows us through this sort of approach is that he’s actually an incredibly intelligent and sensitive person, capable of nuanced and critical thinking, and that when you go at every situation with a rigid, unmovable view of how things should be, or what you should do, morally or otherwise, you fail to acknowledge the complexity of the world and of people, you fail to acknowledge the ever shifting realities of questions of what’s right and wrong, how at any given time, one thing can take priority over another, and it can even be an individual life over multiple lives and still be right, and how, when you end up going at things with such a rigid uncompromising view, though your intentions might be well meaning, you end up doing more harm than good. We see this happen with, for example, Jean, when he refuses to kill, and ends up nearly getting the entire Special Operations Squad killed in the process, and saddling Armin with a burden that should have been his own. And on a bigger scale, Eren, who is unable to approach his need for freedom with anything but a wholesale, all or nothing solution.

This is why Levi tells people all the time to make the choice they’ll least regret, not the choice they think will gain them success, or victory. This is why he never tries to impose any moral view or certainty on anyone, or tries to convince them to his side. Why he lets everyone choose for themselves. He doesn’t deign to present himself as the authority on anything. Every choice Levi makes is a personal choice, guided by his own feeling and heart, and he lets everyone else do the same in turn.

So when Levi made the choice to let Erwin die and to give Armin the serum, it wasn’t some basic question of Levi choosing Erwin over humanity, or handing the future over to Armin. Levi made the choice he did, like he does with every choice, based off of what he knew in his heart was the right thing to do. It’s why Levi doesn’t give in to his desire to kill Zeke right away, or why he follows Erwin so loyally, even when he at times disagrees with his approach to things, or why he saves Eren as many times as he does, etc, etc... In that way, poetically, Levi is actually the character who most retains his moral center, and doesn’t compromise or betray his own morals, precisely because he understands that not every problem can be approached with moralistic, black and white thinking, or questions of absolutes. He maintains his moral center better than anyone in the series because he never betrays his own heart.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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sleepingdeath-light · 1 year

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disabled friend hcs ; levi ackerman

requested by ; will-grammer (02/05/23)

fandom(s) ; attack on titan

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; levi ackerman

outline ; “May I ask for (platonic) headcanons for Levi Ackerman with male reader who is disabled? Specifically, with a bad leg and bad coordination, chronic pain and asthma. Reader is a civilian and he and Levi met in town? Maybe they both bought the same premium tea and began chatting. Something comforting, please. What kind of friend Levi would be like? Thank you.”

warning(s) ; canon-typical references to violence, brief references to ableism, but other than that it’s really fluffy

it’s rare that levi finds someone that shares his appreciation for tea — or, at least, someone who isn’t a rich snob — so stumbling across you at a random market was a welcome surprise

even if that surprise nearly had him knocking you flat on your backside when you both reached for the same bag of tea and you startled the living daylights out of him

but regardless, apologies were made, names were exchanged and pleasant small talk (about tea) was had and all was well as he returned to base

and then he bumps into you again when he’s fetching some odd supplies from that same market and he just about manages to stop you from falling over when you go to pick up a different brand of tea

he’s concerned, though he doesn’t show it, and you apologise and make a joke about coordination and point to your bad leg — which he raises an eyebrow at and nods in acknowledgement

and the the subject goes back to tea and you start talking about how it’s quite rare to see this sort around locally — and he realises he’s never tried it

to which you offer to share some and he insists on going halves on the payment

which was the beginning of a peculiar friendship

you’d meet up every week to catch up over a cup of tea (well, many cups of tea) either at your home or at a cafe where you could try new blends of tea

you’re the only person he voices his frustrations to and you get all of the scout gossip — he’ll also tell you about the world beyond the walls if you ask

you keep him in the loop with regards to your life and other general civilian stuff — which includes random tangents about health and such

levi becomes incredibly protective of you because he can’t bear to lose anyone else — and especially with your disabilities he frets about your health turning or you being harmed by other civilians

he’s already witnessed how inconsiderate and cruel people can be to you (having to step in multiple times to intimidate them into backing down and leaving you be)

and he’s aware of how testy and difficult it is to get access to proper healthcare, which is a particular concern of his because of your asthma

now he never voices these concerns but you do notice that people start leaving you be and you’re able to get appointments to discuss your health with doctors — which, due to the timing, you can pretty easily chalk up to your new friend getting involved

he also ensures that you have proper mobility aids by asking around retired/discharged scouts and officers and figuring out who he should call after to get a hold of something like that

when you have flare-ups, levi will happily come and perform errands for you (unless he’s out on a scouting mission) — whether that’s fetching medication or food or drink, finishing your chores, tending to any pets you have or just keeping you company

on a related note your house will end up spotless after he visits because he’s so particular about cleaning that he’ll usually end up doing it for you

his reflexes are extremely good so he’s usually able to help compensate for your bad coordination and will catch whatever it is you’ve accidentally knocked over — or you, if that happens to be the case

you’re the only person still alive to have seen him at his most vulnerable — when he cried and trembled whilst talking about those he’d lost to titans and to circumstance

about his mother and his friends from the underground, about his squad and petra and mike and everyone else

about all of the gore and viscera he’d seen, all of the good men and women he’d lost — kids, he called them

but the next day he acts like nothing happened and you follow suit, never bringing it up again

he jokingly calls you brat — but the slight twitch of his mouth gives away his light intent

erwin is the only one who knows where he goes every week, but as long as levi completes his assignments and paperwork he has no reason to complain

even if, on occasion, some of that paperwork has been completed at your home with a steaming cup of tea and a conversation about some neighbour of yours going on in the background

#sleepingdeath #male reader #platonic x reader #disabled reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x male reader #aot x male reader #aot x reader #aot fluff #attack on titan fluff #snk x male reader #snk x reader #snk fluff #fluff hcs #fluff

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