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oreoluvskento · 3 months

Text

hate sex w nanami

a/n: uhhhh heres that hate sex fic i promised two months ago :D my bad yall i got really busy and lost all motivation to keep writing on here, but i'm back now :)

cw: female reader, wrote this with black reader in mind but no mention of specific race, NOT PROOFREAD, no use of y/n, cunnilingus, overstimulation, cum swallowing, brat tamer nanami, brat reader, im very horny, that should be me honestly

"fuck, what are we doing?" you ask as you and nanami kiss feverishly. he climbs up onto his desk with you, laying you down onto your back roughly.

"don't know," he growls, his hand coming up to cup your jaw as he kisses his way down to your neck. your eyes widen as he bites you, and you feel your knees go weak when he pushes his thigh against your throbbing core while sucking your neck at the same time.

"i thought you couldn't stand me," you moan, rutting yourself against him, to which he groans at. he reaches down and tugs your pants off, your legs kicking them away.

"i can't," he answers, now tossing your underwear to the side and kissing his way down your thighs.

about two minutes earlier, you and nanami were just yelling at each other about your recent mission. you had a plan and nanami completely disregarded it for it's lack of, well, planning. you were more erratic and spontaneous, wanting to go with the flow, while nanami was more calculated and careful, always wanting to stay organized.

you barged in immediately after your checkup with shoko, still fuming because he ignored you when you tried to ask him on your way back about why the plans changed. you complained to shoko about it, to which she said "instead of yelling at me, why not go yell at him," to which you took literally.

nanami didn't acknowledge you once ever since you came in, which infuriated you even further. although his face was stoic, a slightly noticeable vein was popping out of his forehead and his fingers were gripping his pen tighter.

you spun him around in his seat, still complaining in his face, your noses almost touching, which ended up being his last straw. "you are incredibly childish, irresponsible, and i simply have no respect for you at all! you endanger our lives every time we go on a mission together, but all you can think about is how much fun you're having! you're selfish, and honestly a little bit dense, and i wish you'd shut up and leave, you're disturbing my peace."

your eyes widen as he speaks, his voice barely raising but his anger clearly showing. "you can kiss my ass." you grit and the look of disgust that appears on his face makes you even angrier. before you can say anything, he beats you to it.

"please leave," he says, standing up and now looking down at you.

feeling stubborn, you stand your ground and cross your arms. "no," you childishly protest and he leans his head back with a sigh.

"leave or-"

"or what?" you interrupt, moving closer to him and something in the atmosphere changes. for you it could've been the way he looked at you with such an intimidating expression, one that made you submit almost too quickly. for him it could've been the way you were pressed up against him, your chest against his and your pelvises almost touching.

before you could process what was going on, you were sitting on his desk, his lips attacking yours furiously and you were kissing him back.

his mouth is now on your pussy, eating you out like you were his favorite meal, his anger fueling his actions. "fuck don't stop, it feels so good," you moan and nanami grunts against your clit.

"stop fucking talking," he growls, his tongue darting back out to play with your clit and you slide your hands into his hair.

"fuck...you," you respond, breathless as he continues to mercilessly eat you out. nanami sucks your clit into his mouth over and over again, essentially treating it as a pacifier, and just when you think you're about to cum, he stops and inserts two fingers inside you.

"who knew something so sweet could come out of someone so bitter," he teases, watching as your pussy swallows his digits. you're unable to speak properly, your mouth open mid gasp and your back arching off the table. nanami speeds up, the sound making him even harder, and you finally gain your ability to speak again.

"shut up and eat- oh fuck- me out," you moan, pushing his head back onto your pussy and he complies, slurping away what has been produced by his ministrations. you choke on another moan and rut your hips against his face, to which he responds by holding your hips in place with his free hand. now completely controlling your pleasure, nanami fingers you faster, the tips of his fingers constantly brushing against your g-spot and before you knew it, you were having an orgasm.

you struggle to stay quiet as your body lights up but you find it difficult as nanami refuses to let up, his fingers fighting against your constricting walls and his tongue still hard at work on your clit. as you come down, you truly start to feel the overstimulation and try to pull away. "mm mm, stay right here. you should've left when i told you to. now it's my turn," he says, muffled by your pussy and you cry out when he starts sucking your sensitive clit again.

"please, its too much, i can't," you plead but it falls onto deaf ears as he goes on. nanami adds another finger and your eyes roll to the back of your head, the stretch adding a new sensation to focus on.

"if only you were as obedient as your pussy. look at how she sucks me right in," he coos and you subconsciously get tighter at his teasing. he chooses not to say anything about it yet, and focuses on stretching you out for his dick. your breathing picks up and nanami recognizes the cues for your next orgasm so he dives back onto your clit, spitting on it and slurping it loosely.

you cum unexpectedly this time and nanami keeps fucking you through it, your body thrashing against his hold. he finally pulls away from you, sitting up to look at your blissed out face. you open your eyes when he grabs onto your jaw with one hand and prods at your mouth with the other.

"open," he commands and you do as he says, the fuzz in your brain stopping you from thinking clearly. he puts his fingers into your mouth and you moan as you suck away the mess on them. he pulls you off the desk and leans you against it, your upper body folded over it now.

he pushes his clothed erection against you from behind and groans when you push back against him. nanami thinks about teasing you some more but he has a meeting with yaga about your partnership soon and he's racing against time. he quickly pulls his dick out, the tip turning slightly red as it's been begging for attention sine he kissed you.

your head is down when he pushes into you and you snap it up when you feel the way it stretches you out. a high pitched moan escapes you and nanami slaps his hand over your mouth while pulling you up to talk to you. "shut up, i'm not even all the way in yet," he rasps and you et out a sound of desperation.

once he bullies the rest of his cock inside of you, he pulls out and snaps his hips back into yours, and if it wasn't for his hand on your mouth, the entire academy would've heard the moan that came out of you. nanami sets a relentless pace, his anger towards you growing the louder you get.

"you really don't know how to be quiet, huh?" he growls, pushing all the way into you, shimmying his hips to get deeper, and you fall over, stopping yourself from moaning this time. tears come to your eyes and he fucks you deeply, the pleasure too much for you to handle and your knees going weak. nanami realizes you effort and scoffs to himself. "so you do know how to follow directions? i knew it wouldn't take much to put a brat like you in her place," he says and nod furiously, not even sure of what he's saying.

he speeds up now, his eyes fixated on the way your ass jiggles every time he thrusted into it. your pussy begins squeezing him like it did earlier but nanami isn't having it. he pulls you up by your hair and grabs you by your throat. "you'll wait, do you understand me? hold it until i say you can cum," he instructs and you let out a whine in protest. ultimately, you listen, and although it was extremely hard to focus on not cumming, you succeed.

nanami takes the hand on your throat and begins rubbing your clit with it. "make sure you stay quiet just like this. go ahead and cum for me," he says and not even a second later your gushing all over his dick. he moans out curses as you cum, your pussy holding onto his dick and when you're done, he pulls out. he yanks your shoulder and pushes you onto the ground, and you catch on, taking his dick in your hand and stroking it.

this is your first time seeing it and god was it big. you take the tip in your mouth and bob your way down his shaft, wanting to feel it in your throat. nanami moans as you suck him off and before long, he cums in your mouth. you swallow it as it comes and when he's done, he pulls you back to your feet. he carries you onto the desk and rubs the side of your hips as he comes down from his own high, his head on your shoulder.

"i'm sorry for barging in here and acting an ass," you say softly and he chuckles, his head still down.

"i'm sorry for calling you childish, irrisponsible, selfsih-"

"alright, i get it you're sorry!" you interrupt and he laughs a little harder. he stands up, tucks his dick away, and helps you put your pants back on before giving you a bottle of water and watching you leave.

later that day, during his meeting with yaga, at which he wanted to request a partner switch, he decided on sticking with you for just a little longer.

#jjk nanami #nanami kento #nanami kento fluff #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #jjk smut #nanami kento smut #nanami smut #nanami x black reader #nanami x black!reader #jujutsu nanami #nanami x y/n #nanami x you #nanami x reader smut

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sunkissed-zegras · 14 days

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Paige nsfw hcs pls

─ warnings | NSFW under the cut! read at your own discretion!

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | the long awaited nsfw headcanons for paigey, i finally got the motivation to write it after i kept reading the INSANE smut yall keep writing (keep it up im lovin it) also this is such a mess, this is just rambling and not organized whatsoever, but wtv i hope yall enjoyed :)

woo, where do i even begin?

let's begin with the obvious, paige is a TOP, i can't stress this enough

i genuinely can't see anyone topping her she's just .... a TOP

but that doesn't mean she won't let you take the reigns every once in awhile, esp after a bad game/tiring practice because everyone once to be taken care of sometimes

i'm def not the first person to say this and certainly will not be the last but STRAP GAME GOES SOOOOO HARD

i feel like at first she's gonna be weirded out cus like... she likes only girls for a reason??? and she has her mouth and fingers??? why would she need a piece of plastic to make her girl feel good???

but the first time y'all try it, she's hooked

she forgets ab her hands after that

jk but like

yeah she's HOOKED

she gets really into it LOL, def can imagine her calling the strap her dick

oh and she fucks HARDDDD like, no room to breathe or anything

like you'll be gasping for air after and she'll be super duper proud

i read this one fic with like the dual ended one (i didn't even know that existed) and then i was like yep, yes this is the oneee

with positions, i can't see her doing anything more than like missionary (cus she loves to see your pretty face) and like from the back

but as soon as she discovers riding, it's OVERRRRR for you

she's making you ride her strap anytime she can, cus she loves it

she has her hands on your hips as she's guiding you and she LOVES IT so fucking much, like the power she has over you makes her go feral

oh and do not get me started on sucking her strap, cus again she loves the power she holds over you

she has your hair in a ponytail and the more you get comfortable with the whole thing, she WILL make you gag

she acts like it's her dick (yeah i know we covered that) but like esp when you're sucking her strap, she will just dirty talk u the entire time

"you like my dick, pretty girl? like gagging on my dick?" cus yeah, u do

oh and yes, she does have breeding kink

it breaks her heart that she can't get you pregnant 😪

but she sure as hell will pretend to!!!!!

will 100% bend you over and just yap about getting you pregnant

also if she's fucking you in missionary, she expects you to look at her the entire time

so if you turn away, she will grab your face and keep you looking straight at her

FUCK IDK WHY THAT'S SO HOT

paige is a D1 yapper i fear, and that would 10000% seep into the bedroom LMAO

mostly praise cus babygirl would feel really bad but when she gets into, she GETS into it

like she will call you her slut as she's about cum

that post-nut clarity goes hard the first time tho cus she's like no way i called my gf a dirty fucking slut 😭😭 she sits with her thoughts for a good 10 minutes trying to recollect herself

she is a munch for sure, like she will eat you out for hours and hours on end (not an exaggeration btw)

but she LOVES when you give back

it makes her go fucking feral when she sees you eating her out, like yessssssssssssss

she has to close her eyes bc if she keeps looking at your face, she WILL cum

she has a bad hair pulling problem, like she will grip your hair so hard your head will hurt after

it's apart of the appeal tho 🎀

her fav spot to get absolutely ate is her gaming chair cus like, she needs you in between her legs giving her support to get that victory royale 💯💯💯

she hates when she gets ass or tits bc she genuinely cannot pick

it depends on the day bc they're both great, she will never pick one

i feel like she's definitely thought ab fucking you in public but she can't risk it

SHES A D1 ATHLETE !!

the only time yall did was in a bathroom at an event and it was SOOO bad afterwards cus everyone could tell

you had to pretend like you didn't get your brains fucked out and paige had to pretend she didn't DO the fucking

but lowkey she enjoyed it a lot, but would she do it again?

maybe, a solid maybe (with the right motivation)

okay but like ....

she def has fingered u while the girls are over cus like, she was in a silly mood?

you just looked too fucking good, she had to

but thank god no one noticed (at least to yalls knowledge...)

she's a horny fuck ARGUE WITH THE WALL

she will get turned on by anything you do, like homegirl is just sooooo down bad for you

you could be applying chapstick and paige will be like "we need to fuck, now."

paige's aftercare is just giving you water and cuddling with you for 10 mis while scrolling on tiktok and then gets up to play fortnite with kk

she literally is the tiktok where it's like "after he rearranges my organs he goes and plays fortnite" i hope yall know what i'm talking about

but you don't mind ofc cus she makes you sit on her lap while playing

but then turns into another round cus shes a horny fuck

paige is all for hickies on YOU but she gets pissed when you give her a hickey cus she's like people are gonna see

like she's the only one who has to deal with the public 🙄🙄🙄

but she loves marking you EVERYWHERE, esp on your collarbone like it's so sexy

oh and god bless you in the summer, the ones on your thighs are getting AIRED OUT bc paige does not care

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

#wcbb x reader #wcbb #ncaaw #uconn huskies #ncaa wbb #women's college basketball #paige buckets #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #paige x reader #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers fic #uconn wbb

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gilfkitty · 3 months

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hi! I was wondering if you can maybe do stepdad vendetta Leon? When it’s late at night and he comes home after a long day at work and he’s drinking like usual, but reader can’t sleep cause of the thunderstorm and she just wants his comfort. Could you make it fluffy at first then smutty? -Lana <3

Seeking Shelter (18+)

ft. stepdad! (vendetta) Leon x fem! reader

WARNINGS !! - some angst (?), mentions of alcohol and marital problems, Leon is slightly intoxicated, stepcest, little bit of biting/marking, pet names, overstimulation, thigh fucking 𓃹

note. ty for being my first normal ask ! im not very confident when it comes to writing fluff but i hope this turned out to your liking :3

wc. 1.5k

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Leon absolutely hated his work, most of all he hated being away from home. He just wanted a break, at least more than weekends off.

Waking up early every day and staying out, busting his ass til nighttime was not how he wanted to live his life. He felt like he was older than he actually was, already getting severe back and body aches, always tired and struggling with migraines that only alcohol could simmer down. He didn’t want to feel like an old man at the age of fourty. But someone had to provide for you and your mother. That’s what motivated him to keep at it. Even if it was breaking him mentally.

He couldn’t deny it felt good to be needed and he knew that you needed him most.

Unlike your mother, you were appreciative of his efforts to furnish the household. You understood he had to be gone a lot and you didn’t ask for a million things. Sometimes he wondered if he married the wrong woman. It seemed your mother was only interested in his good looks and money. They argued more often than they talked. She complained he wasn’t making her happy, didn’t take care of her needs.

He tried his hardest to, but maybe he just couldn’t. Maybe he just didn’t love her like he did when they first met. Rushing into marriage after only dating a couple months prior often turned out that way. And the more he got to know her, the more he got to know you.

You were the exact opposite of your mother despite having been raised solely by her. You were a total sweetheart to him. Made him feel like he wasn’t doing all this for nothing.

——————

Just like any other night, tonight he’s returning home late, bottle being downed to get the negativity out of his head. The bitter burning of the liquid flooding his stomach was a pleasant, comforting in contrast to the flickering lightning outside.

He finishes up another glass. Just enough to calm his nerves but not enough to make him lose his thoughts completely.

He removes his leather jacket, slightly damp from the rain as he makes his way up the stairs ready to head to bed. He considered taking a shower, but he wasn’t caught up in it that long. He was too tired to stay standing anyway.

He pivots to go to your mother but comes to a halt at the sight of your bedroom light still on. You were usually always asleep by the time he got home so he couldn’t help but be curious.

“Hey, hon.” he stands in your doorway, hesitant to enter further. “What are you still doing up? Thought you had a busy day planned for tomorrow.”

You were too embarrassed to tell him the reason. Your heart was pounding heavily in your chest just from some simple rain and thunder. It was something you figured you’d eventually grow out of as you got older, but you didn’t.

“Rain botherin’ you?” he asks, as always reading you like an open book.

“Yeah, i’ll be fine though.”

“I can lay with you for a bit if that helps. If you can make some room for me.”

His offer made you feel all the more ashamed. You weren’t a child, didn’t need to be cradled to sleep. But you didn’t want to say no. His comfort was what you wanted. His presence in general made you feel safe.

So, you organize the cluster that’s taking up your bed space, scooting aside for him.

He lays on the inside, getting snug under your comforter and wrapping his arms around you in a protective embrace. He buries his face in the back of your hair, exhaling a contented sigh.

His breath was hot on your neck, alcohol mixed with that dollar store cologne was pungent, clouding your senses. That smell was just Leon. Homely somehow.

“It’s alright, baby,” he croons, “Storms bother me sometimes too. I’ll stay til’ you’re able to fall asleep.”

His voice was husky, directed straight through your ears. As much as you tried, you couldn’t ignore the fact that you were starting to feel something you shouldn’t.

“You don’t have to stay,” you counter even though you really wanted him to. “I know you have work tomorrow.”

“I don’t mind. Wouldn’t be able to sleep knowin’ you’re upset anyway.”

He presses his body further against yours. His hand rubs circles over your stomach to coax you to sleep.

It was having the opposite effect. For both of you.

This close proximity, the heat of your body, the scent of your hair, it was all making him dizzy. Dizzy in a way any hard liquor or whiskey couldn’t achieve for him.

His hands make their way underneath your shirt, testing your reaction to the advance. He trails up slowly feeling your soft skin under his rough palm, stopping at the edge of your bra before slipping back down.

You shudder when he thumbs at the waistband of your pajama pants. He was asking for permission without words. He didn’t have a way to ask that didn’t make him sound like a creep or a pervert. He didn’t want you to see him that way. But he needed you. Hoped you needed him in that way too.

His breath sped up, he was practically heaving. Blame it on the alcohol.

“I should go,” he decided, releasing you. But you stop his hand midway out.

“You can’t just tease me like that and then leave. You said you’d stay until I fell asleep.”

His dick hardens in his pants at your reciprocated touch, making him realize just how long it had been since he’d felt someone else this way. Your mom never put out, and when she did, there was no connection.

This was different. Just holding you in his arms makes him feel something he’s never felt with anyone.

“Sorry, sweetheart. You’re right. I said i’d stay.”

He wasn’t expecting those words to influence you. He was trying to push the sexual thoughts to the back of his mind. But then you move his hand where you both wanted it to be, and his brain is fried.

You don’t have to tell him twice. He gets the memo.

Your pants, along with his own, are discarded to your floor. He holds his position behind you, slipping his length between the plush of your inner thighs, right between your needy folds.

As bad as he wanted to fuck you, he couldn’t. No way in hell he was going to ruin your life and knock you up. He was your stepfather. Your mother would surely kill you if she found out.

He settles for this, slowly pumping his hips to slide his cock between your legs.

You line them up, tightening them together for his pleasure. He grinds against your clit, rubbing back and forth and making you moan. You were dripping on his cock, begging for him to take you. He wanted to so badly.

“Shhh, baby,” he hushes with a hand over your mouth. “Be quiet for me.

He wasn’t exactly playing fair. He was groaning in your ear more and more as it went on. You were a mouse in comparison.

He holds onto you bruisingly tight, wanting to be closer. It was so hard to have you right in front of him, soaked and whiny just for him. Yet he couldn’t go further.

It almost pissed him off.

His teeth sink into the flesh of your shoulder as he tries to restrain himself, marking you in the process. He speeds his movements, his pelvis meeting your ass again and again. You could feel him throbbing, hear that desperate rasp in his voice as he moaned into you.

“I need you so bad sweetheart.” He kisses over the bite mark he left, panting through his nose. “Need to be inside your sweet pussy.”

You plead for him. But it’s muffled by the cup of his hand. You felt so good just from this. You couldn’t even imagine how the real deal would be.

Your body practically spasms from cumming. He rubbed you in just the right way, just the right pace.

He loses his mind feeling the way you squirm against him. He couldn’t stop, even if you were overly sensitive. He needed your body.

He has to hold your thighs together as they moved too far apart, making you endure the friction.

Cum spurts out of him too far, and far too fast for him to catch it. It just keeps spilling out, and he just keeps thrusting into you until it starts to hurt. He’s gripping you tighter than intended as his muscles stiffen uncontrollably.

He uncovers your mouth after he falls limp against you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

“Sorry about the mess.” he says to break the silence. “Think you’ll be able to sleep now? Feelin’ a little sleepy myself.”

“Can you stay with me all night?” you ask. You didn’t want him to leave your side. It’d be cold without him.

He hesitates to answer, thinking over your request and considering if it would be too risky.

“Sure, sweetheart. Your mom probably won’t even notice I’m gone tonight anyway.”

#leon kennedy x you #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil x reader #tw.stepcest #leon smut #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #resident evil vendetta #vendetta leon

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opennwindows · 7 months

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If you can, could I request BEN Drowned fluff / smut headcanons like about himself, with his headcanon age, hobbies, facts, what he is into or would like & want in a relationship, and what he would be like with a gamer girlfriend/ s/o?

If ya taking requests rn still?✨😇😊💖

Ben Drowned general + NSFW hcs

A/N: yes!! absolutely. i love getting to talk about how the pastas do their pastaing in my mind. i have so many headcanons for everyone that im excited to share!! also sorry i forgot to include the gamer gf part but i don't think it would change a lot of what i wrote!!

btw sorry for fucking dying i have been busy 😭😭 but no one worry i will still continue to work on requests!! if anyone has any marble hornets stuff they wanna request i will zoom you to the front of the queue so fucking quick. anyways enough of me yapping.

cw: 18+ nsfw, toxic relationships, crying kink,

GENERAL

ben is mentally and physically 22, but he can be quite emotionally immature at times. when he died he never stopped growing and maturing, his soul was just stuck in limbo. think like the worst waiting room ever.

he's surprisingly tall, standing at about 5'9. he's lanky but not bone thin. could easily get pretty far in a fight without his ghost powers.

the link costume only appears when he’s in his ghost form. so for example, when he’s messing with someone on their computer he’ll appear as the canon BEN we’re most familiar with. when he’s just chilling in his physical body, he mostly wears beat up hoodies and sweatpants.

contrary to popular belief, ben's not the hardcore gamer everyone thinks he is. sure, he'll play some overwatch or whatever when he's bored but he honestly just prefers to watch tv and browse the internet. understandably REFUSES to play any zelda games. if you were trapped in a video game for decades would you ever wanna touch it again? exactly.

ben loves to draw little comics and troll (see: horrifically traumatize) people online. god forbid you get into twitter beef with this man because he will crawl through your monitor at 3am and leave you with a crippling fear of technology. dude thinks it's absolutely hilarious. a true knee slapper.

lowkey has a sugar addiction. will slam down 4 cans of pepsi in one sitting. he's very lucky that he's basically a ghost because the kidney stones would be plentiful.

ROMANTIC

you know that guy with the blown out speakers in his car, lives off of energy drinks and burnt blue razz ice elfbars, swears aphex twin is the modern mozart and works on the grill at your local wendy’s? yeah thats ben. or at least would be him if he was still human.

“why would you need a chair, my lap is literally right here babe.”

would absolutely wear your skin if given the opportunity. not in a weird way. he’s just EXTREMELY touchy.

he needs someone who is significantly more organized and motivated than him. he can go almost a week without showering and it should honestly be considered biological warfare when he tries to smother you with affection during these episodes.

after awhile of you guys dating he LOVES the idea of y’all showering together. he has a fear of water and while showers aren’t too much of a trigger, your presence helps ease his anxiety.

favorite pet names: bro, dude, dawg, babe, bitch (non derogatory)

not really a romantic but he tries his best. a perfect date for him is just getting some takeout, watching youtube, talking about stupid shit and play fighting. if you want something more traditional or extravagant then he’ll oblige to make you happy but those types of dates make him feel quite suffocated and nervous. try to save those for special occasions.

now let’s talk about his problems because just like the other creeps he is ANGSTY.

he’s probably the most emotionally stable and healthiest of the group but he definitely still has his toxic traits, after all this man is a ghost that mentally tortures and kills his victims through manipulation.

ben would never ever get physical with his partner no matter how enraged he is but he absolutely is the type to do some mental damage when he gets carried away. ben drowned? more like ben gaslighted.

the type to say some shit that would keep you up for years and then kiss you the next morning like the argument never happened. he finds it easier to ignore problems than to actively talk and fix them. you’re gonna have to teach him some important communication skills or else you’ll grow to resent him after all the bottled up rage.

a bit too brutally honest and blunt for his own good so if you have thin skin the relationship would fall apart pretty quickly. he wants someone who can drag him twice as hard as he dragged you. bonus points if your insults are consistently funny as hell.

please watch anime with him and discuss it. he would propose on the spot, especially if you play with his hair.

pro player tip: if you want him to clean his disgusting room, help him and make it fun! he just needs a little push and motivation at times. and being around you makes him want to get his shit together.

big fan of late night make-out sessions. i’m talking like 45 minutes straight of just slobbering on each other’s faces with tongues down throats. if you don’t want his hands running over every inch of your body then you’ll probably have to chain him to the wall.

NSFW

okay. so he’s a little inexperienced with his hands. he’s just a slow learner. be vocal with him about what you like!!

ben's about 7inches and slightly skinnier than average but he will have you seeing stars in record time. the dick game is no joke. he tends to go fast and deep most times.

i can see him being a switch in the idgaf-as-long-as-i’m-fucking way. dude will go with the flow and will try mostly anything.

definitely one of the least aggressive pastas during sex. he has sadistic tendencies but he’s more of a edge/overstimulate you until you cry versus a beat the shit out of you and rip hair out of your scalp type. he’s pretty vanilla given his occupation.

despite his love of roasting the fuck out of you on a daily basis, the only words that come out of this man’s mouth is heavenly praise. he looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous being on the planet and he’ll let you know it.

he loves to whisper praises into your ear while you ride him.

he's more of a receiver than a giver when it comes to oral. he'll absolutely spend hours between your legs if given the chance but nothing beats the sight of you on your knees and teary eyed with his length in your mouth.

he can be a bit of a head pusher but just let him face-fuck you every now and then, hearing his loud moans will be worth it.

did i mention how much of a crying kink this man has? you guys could be on round three and if he stares at your teary eyed fucked-out face for longer than 10 seconds he'll immediately get hard again. you'll have to beg him to give your poor body a break.

he's also into choking but only if he's the one doing it. if you try to restrict his breathing he'll panic and the mood would get ruined.

#creepypasta #creepypasta smut #celia reqs #creepypasta x reader #ben drowned #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned smut #ben drowned x y/n #ben drowned x you #ben drowned headcanons #ben drowned hcs #creepypasta headcanon

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chuulyssa · 22 days

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🇾🇴🇺 ❜ 🇷🇪 🇸🇴 🇵🇷🇪🇹🇹🇾 , 🇾🇴🇺 ❜ 🇷🇪 🇸🇴 🇵🇴🇵🇺🇱🇦🇷.

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ ᴏꜱᴀᴍᴜ !

↷ A/N ─ first songfic! I TRIED OKAY??? love this song btw. also i tried to make this as less slutty and more angsty as i could.

★ COUNT ─ 2.1k

!! TAGS ─ f!reader x pm!dazai, reader is in the port mafia, fantasization, dubcon (only kissing), mentions of rape and stuff in the song, angst with happy ending, hurt/comfort, reader is down bad for dazai

this isn't outright smut but there are a few mentions of it in the reader's thoughts, so im putting the mdni sign

★ PROLOGUE ─ he was everything you ever wanted. but would he ever see that?

♬ SONG ─ ecstasy

SMUT, 18+, MDNI

READ ON AO3

You couldn't believe the first time Dazai had kissed you. It felt so unreal, so distant. Your lips had locked in a perfect embrace as if they had been carved just for each other. And then he had pulled away ever so slightly and rested his forehead against yours, telling you how much he loves you.

It had felt like a dream come true. Although you had joined the Port Mafia earlier than him, you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with him.

What was it? A crush? Love? A fantasy? You didn't know, and you didn't care to. All you believed was that you were made for Dazai, and how could you not? His hair would move along with the wind when he would look at you for a bit too long - or so you would think, deluding yourself into the deception of a world where you woke up and fell asleep with his kisses.

I just wanna be your sweetheart Fucking come here, give me your heart

On several occasions you had tried giving him signals - letting him know that you wanted him. That you loved him. That you would listen to him blabber about in bars till dusk. That you would stroke his hair and tell him that he was perfect in every way possible if you had the courage. That you would be with him even if you were the only one standing.

"Earth to Y/N?" Dazai snaps his fingers in front of you, yanking you away from your thoughts.

"Yeah?" you said, slightly flustered.

"As I was saying, we have to first infiltrate the organization from the inside. It will be a bit difficult since it's just the two of us-"

The two of us.

Us.

Your mind began to slip away from Dazai again as you thought about the possibility of you and Osamu Dazai becoming "us" and "we". It was blissful. Your eyes began looking glossy, and he probably noticed, because he sighed and shook his head before ruffling your hair.

You came crashing down to earth again.

Just you and me to infinity I can't fucking breathe, too much ecstasy

On your way to the mission, your eyes kept glancing at him. He looked so pretty, with his hair cascading down in front of his eye in the most perfect manner, and his bandaged hands making your knees wobbly as you imagined how they would feel on your thighs, slowly inching towards your core.

The thought made you shiver, and you stumbled slightly. Dazai spared you a look of concern.

"Are you sure you're okay? I could handle them alone if you want."

"I'm alright. I can do this," you smiled softly at him. Yes, I can do this, you thought, I can do this because I'm with you.

He was your motivation, your burning desire. He was your ray of happiness in the cruel world. He was everything you had ever wanted in life.

The two of you made it to the front of the organization's immaculate house, where a party was being held. The mission was simple; get into the party in disguise and kill a few easy targets. You hadn't paid much attention to Mori's instructions anyway, for your eyes had looked at nothing other than Dazai, heart leaping with joy at the thought of being partnered with him again.

Dazai put a hand on the small of your back, and you felt goosebumps arise. He guided you into the party after giving you a small nod, and you interlocked your arms with his.

You met a few people here and there; none that you cared about. All you focused on tonight - and probably every night since you had first met him - was him. His face. His body. His voice. His laughter. His expressions. His jokes. Him. He was perfect.

Kiss me on the lips, choke me on the floor Drag me around, and push me right against your door

The night continued on, and there was only Dazai in your mind. You couldn't get him out at all, not when he was right in front of you, forehead against yours and about to kiss you. You felt as though the entire world had faded away, leaving only you and Dazai in a bubble of your own.

You held your breath as you waited for all your dreams to finally come true.

His lips hovered just inches from yours, and you felt dizzy from anticipation. Time seemed to stand still as you forced your eyes to be on his. Your heart raced in your chest, matching the frantic beat of the music pulsing in the distance from the party you had left to complete your mission.

Oh. Right. Mission.

How could you forget? How foolish of you to think that this was real. The targets you were designated to kill wouldn't want Port Mafia members in the corridor you were currently in. This was all just a show to maintain your cover.

The realization hit you like a sledgehammer, shattering all your anticipation from before. You tore your gaze away from him, and his fingers immediately went up to clutch your jaw.

"Do you trust me?"

You were silent.

"Close your eyes."

You did, and he put his lips on yours tenderly, as if you were made of glass and could break by the slightest pressure. You felt like crying. You had wanted him to kiss you for so long, and here he was, kissing you as if you weren't supposed to catch feelings for him right then and there - as if he was completely okay if you were ruined because of him.

Dazai's fingers slid from your jaw to your neck, caressing it softly before changing the pace of his kisses. They felt more passionate, but were they, really? This was all a facade. This didn't mean anything to him. Anything at all.

I'm your little doll, come and play with me Dyeing all my hair, we could be in the scene

The car ride back home was silent. Dazai had a few stains of blood on the black collar of his coat - none his, thankfully - yet he drove like he hadn't just murdered some people.

You sighed. Yes, the Port Mafia wasn't a place for feelings, and Dazai knew that perfectly well. You had finally realized that Dazai was nothing but a cold person who had no remorse, no guilt, no emotions at all while he toyed with others.

You had given away nearly half of the life you had lived up till now for him. You had given away all of yourself. You had changed yourself as much as you could. You had listened to everything he would tell you. You had done everything you could yet here you were, eyes burning as you struggled to keep them open so you didn't end up breaking down in front of the very person who was breaking you every second of this long ride.

When you reached the door to your house, you gave him a little wave, and he looked hesitant.

"Can I stay over for tonight?"

Every muscle in your body screamed at you to say no, to tell him to fuck off, maybe even punch him and shatter a few bones so he knows what it's like to be broken. Instead, you resorted to nodding lowly, not a word escaping your lips as you unlocked the door, kicked off your shoes and walked into your room, locking it from inside.

How dare he after what he did to you? How could he? Was he that heartless? Was he really how people had described him to be? Cold, ruthless and merciless? You thought you knew better, but did you?

Your legs gave in and you sunk to the floor, your back against the door. Why did he have to kiss you? Why did you agree to this stupid mission? Why did you ever fall for this man?

Lights out, you don't tap out You're so crazy, manipulate me

"Y/N?"

You immediately wiped your face on your pillow and got up to go to the living room where he sat. Tonight, for the first time in your life, Dazai was nothing but a guest to you. Not a crush. Not your love at first sight. Nothing. Just a colleague.

"I heard you. I thought you might need a drink," he offered you one, and you slowly took it from him.

You stared at the bottle of wine on the table. He had probably ordered it just now. It was an expensive one, not one you usually drank. Well, you weren't much of a drinker anyway. But tonight, maybe you could drink a little, to drown your sorrows with the very man who caused them.

The room was dimly lit, and faint moonlight formed a few odd shapes on the floor. The two of you sat drinking, and while Dazai seemed sober enough, you were already almost wasted.

"Listen," Dazai said suddenly as if he had finally made up his mind to say something. "I wanted to ask. Did that kiss mean anything to you?"

"What kiss?" you acted dumb. You didn't need to be reminded of that, not right now in your most vulnerable state.

"Don't play dumb with me, Y/N," he said sternly. "You know exactly what I mean."

You pursed your lips. "Yeah, I do. Answer that question yourself first."

"It did. A lot."

What?

You stared at him. Was this another way to break your heart even more? Was he toying with you again? Yes, this had to be another one of his manipulation tricks. But somewhere, in the corner of your heart, a tiny voice said, the Dazai I know isn't like that. He would never do something like that.

And you felt your defences crumbling all over again. You didn't care if he manipulated you and left you heartbroken as long as you got to be with him for some part of your life. You loved him. Loved.

Fucking chase me, fucking break me You're my everything, please just rape me

For the second time that night, Dazai's hands were on you. Only this time, you were happy. You wanted him. You needed him. And so you kissed him back with all your might.

You couldn't think straight at all. You couldn't feel him stand up and carry you to your bed. You couldn't see him covering the two of you with blankets to kiss you under its privacy. All you knew was that you were in his arms, and wanted to stay that way forever.

Osamu Dazai was kissing you. The Osamu Dazai. Osamu the-Youngest-Executive-in-the-History-of-the-Port-Mafia Dazai. Was this real? You didn't know. All you wanted was for the moment to go on forever.

You pulled away once more to catch your breath. On top of you, Dazai was panting too, brushing away hair from your eyes and blowing air on your face gently. You were sweating from the heat of the moment. His breath felt cool and cold, but his touch was warm, just like you had fantasized it to be.

"What are we?" you asked.

"Everything."

I just wanna be your sweetheart Fucking come here, give me your heart

You woke up as curtained sunlight hit your face, blinking at the sensation to try and keep your eyes open. A slight shift in your position made you feel Dazai against your chest, his face buried sideways and lips in a small pout.

Your eyes widened as you realized the events of the previous night. It was real. You two were official. You were dating Osamu Dazai.

Your movement had caused Dazai to purr lightly, his voice making your brain numb. Assuming he was tired, you patted his head, still in disbelief over your fortune and merely resorted to staring at the ceiling. You didn't want to wake him up. The feeling of him getting so cozy and vulnerable with you made you want to stay still like that forever.

How could someone be so pretty? So endearing? What must it be like to be that beautiful? To be someone's will to live? To be someone's first laugh and smile? How was it that someone could capture your heart this way? You felt a whirlwind of emotions; pathetic, romantic, love, disbelief. You felt everything as you stared at his sleeping figure, chest heaving up and down to match his heart beat.

You could almost feel him take your breath away. God, you loved him so bad.

Just you and me to infinity I can't fucking breathe, too much ecstasy

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n3xii · 1 year

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What Era Are you in Right Now?

This reading explores the current era you're in, what advice you need to hear, and if there's any blockages you can overcome at this time! Check out my pinned services for a more personal reading. (Affordable prices)

Pile one

The current era you're in

You're working on yourself, your goals and ambitions. You're probably hustling alot and have a very organized outline of what you're gonna achieve. You may feel like there's alot of limitations on what you're able to do on a day to day basis, you may feel like you don't have alot of room to make descions, but the period you're in is actually gonna have alot of rewards for you later on down the line. Thr lack of free time you feel is no match for how much freedom you will have. The achievement you're working for is not instant, it's something that will take alot of time and energy but will have a more gratifying result.

Divine advice

You may be feeling overwhelmed and as if you can't keep up. Spirit wants you to know that you're able to accomplish your goals and see it through to the end. You have the strength to keep going. Don't fall away into old patterns and routines. You can keep going and meet your desired outcome. People who chose this pile may be in college and trying to make it through to get their degree. Others are working certain jobs and trying to save up for something. This degree will be worth it, im being shown that all the hard work you invested will reward you greatly. It may be overwhelming right now, but you've made it through tough times in the past and you can make it through it again.

Blockages

You've committed yourself to a certain path whether it be your major or a certain career path, and you haven't allowed yourself the possibility to change it. You're committed and have a specific idea in mind but haven't allowed yourself to explore other paths. Spirit wants you to be open to more paths, espeically be open to possible delays. Don't feel obligated to fullfill specific time frames or a specific path, its blocking you off from potential opportunities and ideas. This doesn't mean abandon what you're currently doing, it means to soften your attitude towards any changes in direction or delays. Spirit is guiding you at this time.

Pile two

What era you are in 》

I think people in this pile are in the era of improving their mental health, their physical health, and improving their daily routine etc. You're becoming more aware of things going on in your health and integrating new things into your diet, mindset, spiritual routines. You're concisous of what factors are effecting you and actively accommodating to your own needs

Advice

The advice you're getting is to keep going, you're on a path of spiritual evolution. The choices you're making are helping you improve in all areas of life and your guides want you to keep in mind your new priorities. But overall, you're doing great so far. You're more connected to your guides and to your higgerself, use your refined connection as a counsel for future descions. Don't use who you were in those past habits or routines as a guide for descions.

Blockages 》

Unlike pile number one, you guys struggle to commit. this new awareness you're bringing to your daily life and to your health deserves consistency. You may not have been able to commit to things in the past but that doesn't have to dictate what you do in the future. Whether your trying a new regime, manifesting technique, diet, workout routine, affirmations etc WHATEVER IT IS try your best to do this on a consistent basis. Commit to it.

Pile three

What era are you in?

You've officially closed the door to romance. It's not that you necessarily hate romance atm but it's just not your priority right now. You're focused on becoming more firm in your descions and in who you are. You're sick of feeling lost and like you don't know what you're doing or where you're going. I feel like people who've chosen this pile have recently began to feel motivated to make these changes, you've been feeling lost for a while but now you feel like you can actually do something about it. You're in the era where you're embracing the unknown and getting to know yourself.

Any advice you need to hear 》

Work on your third eye Chakra. Set aside time to visualize your future, what you would be doing, how you would feel etc. Without vision it's hard to know what action you should take. It's also easier to manifest with a clear vision or outline of what you want. Many of you need to trust your intution as well. You're feeling lost because you don't trust yourself no matter what descion you make. When you trust your intuition you feel more firm and settle in making descions.

Blockages

Right now I'm seeing you guys having a very narrow or closed off perspective. You have limited room to go because you have a limited way of viewing your options. Spirit says open up. Expand your awareness. Don't disregard certain options or paths because you have a certain attachment to them in your mind. You could be missing out on opportunities for growth because you haven't expanded your worldview. Also expanding your perspective is so important for visualization and manifestion???? If you have limitations it's hard to imagine what you want to create.

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wackpedion · 3 months

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Headcanon/Observation: Seth is Religious

Heyy so I saw someone being confused about this so Im gonna make a tumblr post about it now, basically based off things you see in the game, mostly the imagery shared by Seth and the church, you can make the interpretation that Seth is religious

For one, the church follows the Metal Fox religion (as stated in a loading screen), and you can see the church uses the fox not only in name but as a symbol as they have fox statues in their front yard. This is interesting because Seth shares this symbol, having a fox on the back of his poncho.

And while this sure is something, theres even more ties to be made between Seth and the church and its religion.

Seth has alooot of eye imagery between his regular and mystery phantom forms. He has an eye on the top of his hood, and in his phantom form its both on his front and back AND a necklace of the eye symbol

I found this perplexing for the longest time because there is eye imagery in the game but in every case I could think of its used in relation to the detectives, with the exception being Shinigami and her book of death but she is a mystery centred death god and has ties to detectives through our protagonist, as opposed to Seth who sure is an investigator but still not a detective and was very much on the enemy side and doesn't have a personal tie to detectives either

However you look at the church more closely and what do you see? Eye imagery, specifically in the windows and iron gates

This makes Seths ties to eye imagery make infinitely more sense if you are to assume hes religious, plus the fact his phantom form is wearing a necklace of it is reminiscent of Christians who might wear crosses

Now, for some additional notable mentions which I feel are less solid but have some basis and help strengthen my argument:

This dialogue could be interpreted that Seth has some sort of faith, an agnostic or athiestic person probably wouldn't defend someone on the basis of their religious status. However this could also be interpreted as some last ditch or desperate effort to defend the priest, as per his motives and also his role as a mystery phantom.

Another thing would be the fact all members of the church have tattoos/markings, usually tied to their eyes. Seth also happens to have one himself

however this could be a stretch as many characters in the game have face markings/tattoos, and Seths is green as opposed to the red sported by the church's members.

Also, Seth's profile mentions he likes 'Wind instruments',

I am not familiar with church or religious music so I can't say much, but from what I gather they play some part in church music? And the one most associated with churches, the organ, is a wind instrument.

And now, the biggest leap of all: He wears a monocle, which btw is completely unique to him in the game. This draws attention to his one visible eye, and as established earlier eyes are associated with the church

Anyway thats the end!! I hope you liked my post and normal level of digging for a character with like no screentime and now understand the idea that he is religious :3

#i like to hc that the eye necklace thing is like real and not just a phantom thing #that some people of the religion (including seth) wear it #raincode #rain code #master detective archives #master detective archives: rain code #mdarc #mda:rc #seth burroughs #headcanon #theory #analysis #can u tell seths my favourite

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perfectsunlight · 1 year

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summer bummer

𝗸𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 𝟲,𝟴𝟰𝟵 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱: ✔

𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿 - 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝘆

being an intern at SM entertainment was a dream come true in itself. you never would have thought that you, as a foreigner, would even have the opportunity to be employed at such an organization. thankfully, you struck the jackpot, and landed a year-long internship position that would be eligible for renewal.

SM operated like a colony of ants. different people had different roles, and even though some roles may be seen as more important, everyone was needed to help the company operate smoothly. without the idols, there was no SM entertainment. without the employees, there would be no SM entertainment. it was a mutual understanding that came with mutual respect as well.

you learned to respect the idols and their space. you made sure to bow every time, and sometimes even twice just because you couldn’t remember if you had the first time. your work mainly dealt with the production team, so naturally you came into contact with almost every idol signed under the company.

however, with aespa having a comeback soon, you were told that you would have to work with them more often and more closely. you didn’t know much about the group other than their names and concept. you actually only met aeri once, and that was because she was the one who helped you find your way to the recording room on your first day.

today you would be having your first meeting with the girls to discuss logistics and other things regarding the title track that you were tasked with producing. it was a big job, but the fact that SM trusted you enough to handle it just gave you the motivation to do your absolute best.

your fingers flipped through the pages of previously scrapped songs, doing your best to analyze the lyrics and what they were trying to portray that didn’t end up showing. you wanted the best for the girls, and you wanted to do your best because your job did depend on it.

the door to the recording room suddenly opened, and you smiled at the sight of the 4 girls making their way inside.

“hi y/n,” aeri flashed you a smile to which you mirrored. she stepped sideways before motioning towards her other members. “this is ningning,” she pointed at the brunette who waved. “and that’s karina and winter.” she finally pointed at the two girls whose hands were interlocked with each other.

you had heard about karina and winter being close, so it wasn’t a surprise once your co-worker spilled the beans and mentioned that they were dating. just from the first introduction, you could tell that the two had a very loving relationship.

minjeong and jimin’s relationship was the envy of many. even when they were just merely being shipped together, everyone wanted someone to look at them the way the two women looked at each other. their chemistry on and off the stage proved how much they loved each other. they were perfect for each other.

“it’s nice to meet you all, im excited to work with you and i hope we can create something amazing together.”

the meeting went on without any issues, and each of the girls had mentioned what they wanted in the upcoming title track. eventually, you managed to map out a set schedule for recording and writing. it was a highly productive meeting in your eyes. however, the entire time you could only focus on someone else’s pair.

for some reason, karina couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. the idol felt drawn to you, even though she had just met you. periodically, winter would often graze her thumb over her hand. she didn’t notice it, really. her attention was entirely set on you.

from the way your eyebrows furrowed, to the way your wrist twitched when you wrote, karina was analyzing every micro and macro detail about you. the meeting was about their group’s title track, but she would have much rather spent the time talking about you.

you had to be really good for SM to entrust the title track to you. she knew that you were new, but she didn’t think much of it until she walked into the room with you. she wanted to know everything about you. jimin wanted to know just how special you were.

by the time the next meeting had rolled around, the aespa members had all decided on their parts for a song you all decided to try experimenting with first. the order of recording went from youngest to oldest, with karina being the last to record.

the other three had done just fine, not struggling much except for a few spots. surprisingly, the leader of the group seemed to really struggle with her parts.

“you three can head back if you want, ill head home once im finished here.” jimin called out with her head poking out from the door. giselle and ning nodded and got their things to leave, but you could clearly see that winter was pouting and not wanting to leave without her girlfriend.

jimin, being ever so attentive, made her way out of the booth and planted a soft kiss on the blonde’s head. “i’ll be home soon, i promise.” she whispered, watching the pout on minjeong’s lips disappear into a smile.

once winter left with her other members, you were left alone with the aespa leader.

“i think you need to use more air in this part here,” you pointed to the lyric sheet in front of her while you gently tried to explain what she could do to improve. jimin’s eyes were trained on you the entire time, not on the paper. karina was an excellent vocalist, of course she knew what she needed to fix.

as a matter of fact, she knew exactly how to read her lines. she just wanted–no, needed an excuse to be alone with you.

“y/n,”

your ears perked up at her voice, and you turned to face her fully with your head tilted slightly. the sight of your attentiveness to her made heat rush to her face. she prayed you wouldn’t be able to tell in the lighting of the booth.

“yes?” you asked, a small smile on your face. “do you want me to show you how to do it?” you added, wanting to do anything to help the idol so she could do her best.

before she could respond, you began singing the lines with ease. jimin swore she felt her entire nervous system stop working once her ears heard the sound of your voice.

if winter’s voice was like air, yours was like water.

your voice alone could easily pass for one of an idol, and she didn’t notice it, but her jaw had dropped. you took note though, and simply flashed her your signature smile.

“you look like you’ve seen a ghost, karina.”

a smile mirrored the idol’s lips as she felt the blush on her face heat up again. you were so adorable, and she couldn’t help but feel weak in the knees at the sound of her name rolling off your tongue.

“jimin,” she said slowly, earning a look of confusion from you. she licked her lips before she continued speaking. “you can just call me jimin.”

the two of you finished wrapping up her lines after what seemed like forever. it was dark outside, and jimin was starving. she could only imagine how hungry you had been, especially since you mentioned how you had been in the studio all day.

“hey y/n, lets go grab something to eat. it’s on me, consider it a thank you.” karina offered, earning a hesitant smile from you. you had heard that jimin was a kind woman, and practically the epitome of a disney princess, but to feel her kindness directed towards you made you feel shy all of a sudden.

“no need to thank me, jimin. i’m just doing my job.”

a scoff left the raven haired girl’s lips as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder. “come on, i’m not letting you leave just like that. you and i both need to eat, so let’s go.” she smiled down at you, and you couldn’t help but smile back and agree.

besides, who couldn’t say no to her? after all, she was yu jimin.

the two of you chatted away, getting to know each other better while you sat on the sidewalk in front of the dorms, eating takeout in the middle of the night. jimin was so caught up in her conversation with you that she didn’t realize how late it had been until you checked your phone and started apologizing.

“thank you for tonight, jimin. i’m so sorry i didn’t see the time, i didn’t mean to keep you up.” you rambled, immediately scrambling to get your things to leave as soon as possible.

the older girl stuck her hand out to hold your wrist, giving you the most genuine smile she had probably ever given.

“i could talk to you for hours, y/n.”

your words got caught in your throat as you stared into her midnight eyes. jimin’s hair was down and undone, blowing softly in the night’s breeze. you would be lying if you said she still didn’t look gorgeous. she was a beautiful woman. you envied winter at that small moment for dating such a woman.

your recording sessions with aespa got more frequent, but your midnight dinners with karina seemed to be happening more often as well. you and jimin had gotten much, much closer. you considered her a good friend, but you two had yet to share any emotional moments.

however, that all changed after one specific night.

it was technically not your day to record anything, but you found yourself in the studio playing around with a few new tracks. you wanted to potentially change something in the chorus of the title track, but you didn’t decide on anything yet. it was close to 1 in the morning, and you were just about to head home when the door to the room flung open.

you nearly fell out of your chair because it caught you so off guard, but what caught you even more off guard was the person who was standing in the doorway.

“jimin? are you okay?”

the idol closed the door behind her before she sat down on the couch with her head in her hands. she sniffled, and you didn’t bother pushing her to respond. instead, you simply moved over to sit on the couch with her and rub her back comfortingly.

“i didn’t know where else to go, im sorry.” she whispered softly, but from the hoarseness of her voice, you could tell she had definitely been crying.

“you’re always welcome here, don't worry.” you hesitantly wrapped your arms around her shoulders, but you felt better once she visibly relaxed in your arms.

the two of you sat that way for a while, but the silence was comforting to jimin given the screaming match she just had mere hours ago.

“minjeong and i got into an argument,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper.

your head turned to face her, noticing her tear stained cheeks and the way her eyelashes were wet from crying. “do you want to talk about it?”

jimin’s head hung and she shook her head, trying her best to keep herself composed somewhat. you nodded in understanding, respecting her decision and the underlying reasons for it.

“is there anything else i can do for you?” you asked gently, removing your arms from her shoulders and letting them fall in your lap.

jimin turned to look at you, and for the first time that night, she managed to smile. “do you have any soju?”

around an hour had passed and you two were pretty tipsy to say the least. since the recording room was naturally soundproof, you two were able to laugh and talk freely as loud as you wanted. you were pretty sure you were on your second bottle at this point because you were starting to feel a bit more fuzzy than before.

you don’t remember how it happened or whose idea it was, but somehow you and jimin agreed to mess around on the vocal tracks. you just kept pressing the record button while she started singing “black mamba” but the “drunk version” as you two called it.

karina insisted on you being apart of the song too, which was how you were hugging each other while screaming into the microphone. you couldn’t take her seriously though, and not even halfway through, you couldn’t stop laughing.

“yah! y/n,” jimin laughed and rolled her eyes playfully. “you’re messing up the song! it has to be good.” she whined while shaking your shoulders.

“sorry, but i can’t take you seriously when you’re yelling.” you reasoned, doing your best to not start laughing again.

the aespa member groaned before leaning her head on your shoulder. “you’re lucky you’re cute.”

even in your drunken state, you knew you weren’t hearing things when her voice reached your ears. she had to mean it platonically, right? after all, she was with minjeong. she had a girlfriend.

“you heard me, y/n.” karina whispered, leaning her head on your shoulder. it was as if she had read your own mind. “i think you’re cute.”

maybe it was the mix of the alcohol and emotions she was on, but jimin couldn’t help but say how she felt about you. relationship be damned, she couldn’t deny the way she felt about you. it was never her intention to fall for you, but she wasn’t going to stop.

you don’t remember the rest of the conversation that followed, but what you do remember were bits and pieces of jimin kissing you against the wall, as well as some very vague images of her on top of you on the couch.

still, you didn’t need the full recap to know what had happened between you two. it only made it worse once you had to see the girls again a few days after it had happened.

you couldn’t face minjeong properly, or even stare at her for longer than a few sentences. you felt immense regret, and even though it wasn’t just your fault, you couldn’t help but feel terrible for basically helping jimin cheat on her girlfriend.

thankfully, it seemed like karina and winter made up. however, you had a feeling that the younger girl didn’t know what happened between the two of you. and in all honesty, was it even your place to say anything either?

recording ended early, and you bid the members goodbye before turning to save everything you guys had worked on before hearing the door shut behind you. you nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt a pair of arms snake around your body.

“hi,” jimin whispered, feeling her body relax against yours naturally. your head turned to face her, jaw agape and eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. was she still intoxicated somehow?

the black haired girl couldn’t help but laugh at your visible confusion. “what’s wrong?”

“what are you doing?” you hissed quietly, eyes quickly snapping towards the door as if minjeong or any other one of the members would walk in at any moment and witness the current situation.

“i missed you.” she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t give you tiny butterflies in your stomach. however, they were most definitely the bad kind of butterflies.

“jimin,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “we can’t do this, you have a girlfriend.”

karina’s dark eyes remained locked with yours, making you seem a bit uneasy at the way she started smiling after. “you’re so adorable, y/n/n.”

she cupped your face in between her hands, running her thumbs gently across your cheeks. she simply admired your confusion laced features, committing them to memory in case you would disappear right there on the spot.

“do you know why minjeong and i got into an argument?”

you shook your head, recalling that jimin didn’t want to speak about what exactly went down between the two of them.

jimin’s lip twitched into a wider smile before she leaned in closer to your face, your noses touching lightly.

she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, “because i moaned your name and not hers.”

ice ran through your veins as you froze on the spot. jimin’s drunk actions were indeed sober thoughts. yu jimin, aespa’s karina, was infatuated with you, despite having her girlfriend. jimin wasn’t lying either. she and minjeong had been in the middle of a makeout session, but all the black haired girl could think about the entire time was how your lips would feel instead. as a result, she accidentally said your name, and the argument that followed was the reason for her running to your studio later that evening.

your silence caused the raven haired girl to grin even more. you didn’t know it yet, but you had been the object of her desires since the moment she met you. somehow, you had managed to make jimin fall so hard to the point where she could care less about her and minjeong.

their years of history meant nothing to her anymore. sure, she cared about minjeong’s well being, but not in a romantic way anymore. she hadn’t cared about anything regarding her own relationship from the moment you introduced yourself to the group. the way you spoke, the way you sang, the way you wrote, the way you walked. every single detail that made you up, made her more impossibly infatuated.

your sophistication was enough to make jimin want to leave winter, and as a matter of fact, she had already tried to.

after the night she ran to the studio with you, she told her managers that she was going to break things off with minjeong. however, they refused to let her. she told them that she was in love with someone else, but despite her pleas and protests, they told her she had to stay with winter. it would be bad for publicity if they broke up, so she had to deal with loving you in secret for now.

your eyes met hers once more, and before you could process everything happening, she pressed her lips against yours. this time, a sober kiss, but she wanted to make sure you knew without a doubt that what she felt for you was real.

her scent was intoxicating, and the way her chapstick tasted sent shivers down your spine. you knew you felt something towards the other girl as well, but unlike her, you had a guilty conscience about it. minjeong was someone you still admired too, and even though you weren’t too close, you still respected her as a person.

you pulled away and jimin chased your lips, but stopped once she saw your flushed face. “what about minjeong?” you hesitantly asked, still trying to fully comprehend everything.

“she’s not the one i want. don’t worry about her,” karina’s nails gently ran down your sides as she pressed her body against yours. “i want you, y/n. not her.”

she kissed your forehead, and you couldn’t help but feel conflicted. on one hand, you didn’t want to play any part of this messed up situation. jimin had feelings for you too, and you maybe had some for her as well, but she was in a relationship. you didn’t want to be that kind of person.

however, on the other hand, you technically already had played a part in this mess. you and jimin crossed that line already, and you had crossed it together. there was no way you could go back now, so why stop now?

that latter was the logic you kept once things got more serious with karina. it had been over a month and a half since this all started, and truthfully, you still didn’t know how to feel.

you undid your shoelaces, taking your hightops off and setting them by the door before you made your way inside your apartment. the midday summer sun shone through your windows and illuminated the place with natural light.

you began rummaging through your mail, sorting what was important and what was not, until your phone began buzzing.

INCOMING CALL FROM: J <3 …

of course, you answered without hesitation.

“hi, princess.”

your eyes rolled playfully at the nickname, but a smile formed on your lips. jimin always made you smile, even if she was being extra. “hi, stranger.”

a scoff escaped her lips, and you heard it clearly. “stranger? interesting.”

“when are you coming over?” you asked while you mindlessly threw out some of your junk mail.

you heard her hum on the other end of the phone before she answered. “she thinks im going home tonight and spending the weekend with my parents, so i’ll see you later tonight once i take her out for dinner.”

at this point in your “relationship” there wasn’t much spoken about minjeong anymore. sure, you knew that she and jimin were still very much together, and that jimin had to make it seem like everything was fine.

except, sometimes it did hurt you a little. you were falling for the other girl in the process of all of this mess, so naturally it made you feel a little jealous whenever jimin would do things with minjeong.

of course, you trusted the girl, but you also understood that minjeong was very much still her girlfriend regardless.

a hum in approval was all you gave before speaking. “alright then, i'll see you later.” jimin heard your tone shift but before she could even mention anything about it, you heard the muffled voice of minjeong in the background.

“see you later.”

the call ended, but you knew how this went because it always happened like this. since it was summer, your sessions with the group were not as often since they were filming for their next season of synk road and fulfilling their ambassador duties.

this meant you didn’t see jimin as often as you wanted, but she still called and texted every day because she missed you. you knew she missed you, but for whatever reason, you seemed to feel more insecure about your alleged position in her heart.

jimin was cheating on minjeong with you, but wasn’t jimin also technically cheating on you too?

then again, it wasn’t like the two of you had established any formal relationship together. all that you two knew, and had mentioned, was that you shared mutual feelings for each other. nothing more, and certainly nothing less.

you decided to distract yourself by showering and turning on some tv. moonlight crept into your apartment, and as you sat on your couch in your (jimin’s) comfiest clothes, you couldn’t help but notice the sinking feeling in your stomach once each minute passed.

it was already half past nine, and still no sign of the other girl. your scowl only grew more, but there wasn’t much you could do except move in closer to your couch cushion and grumble to yourself.

as if on cue, not even 10 minutes later, you heard jimin come through the door. she saw your curled up figure, and noticed your attention was on the TV. she was a little bummed that you weren’t seemingly excited to see her. usually, you would run to greet her, especially since she hadn't seen you for a few days.

“jagiya?”

karina set her bag down and made her way towards the couch. you were still feeling a bit upset, and she knew something was wrong with your lack of energy, but she didn’t know why. the older girl moved to sit next to you and wrapped her arms around your torso.

“hi.” you mumbled, keeping your eyes trained on the screen in front of you.

a small frown etched onto the idol’s face, and she couldn’t help but feel worried about your behavior even more. “what’s wrong, baby?” she leaned down to press a kiss to your lips.

“nothing.” you muttered, but jimin’s frown only deepened once you turned your head and she only managed to kiss your cheek. she whimpered, looking like a kicked puppy at your sudden cold shoulder. jimin didn’t like it, and she didn’t like how you also weren’t telling her why you were acting this way.

“did i do something wrong?”

your silence was deafening, and if it wasn’t for the ambience of the random TV show playing, it would have been much more quiet. you didn’t want to potentially argue with karina, but you also were dying to have some sort of reassurance from the idol.

“what are we, jimin?”

the dark haired girl’s head snapped up and her eyes widened a little. she wasn’t expecting to have this conversation with you. maybe with minjeong, but definitely not with you.

“i don’t know what this is, or if this is just some game for you.” you added, fiddling with your fingers while you tried your best to be honest with her.

you were the only person jimin cared about in the world. had she not done a good enough job of showing you that? obviously she hadn’t, considering you were feeling insecure about yourself in the moment. she used her hand to cup your face, turning it to face her entirely. she scanned your face, concern etched into every feature.

“you’re the love of my life, y/n.”

your gaze softened at her honesty, and part of you felt guilty for even doubting her feelings for you. karina took your softened gaze as an opportunity to continue speaking.

“from the moment i laid my eyes on you, i knew you were special. i knew i needed to have you. everything i feel for you, its real.”

to be honest, this was the most you two had talked about your feelings since her confession. and it did reassure you somewhat, but you had one important thing to get off of your chest.

“what about minjeong?”

jimin’s gaze never faltered, she simply pulled you into her lap and wrapped her arms around your back and waist. she leaned down to press her lips to your temple, and you instantly relaxed under her soft touch.

“i feel nothing for her. every single time she kisses me, its only you i see. whenever she tells me she loves me, i can only say it back if i pretend its you. as a matter of fact,” she ran her hands up your shirt and caressed your back with her fingertips. the action combined with her sweet words sent shivers down your spine. “i was late tonight because i was arguing with my managers again. i tried to break it off again, like i always do. i’m always fighting for you, for us.”

the power you held over her was beyond her, and you had no idea what it was doing to the young idol. she was entirely in the palm of your hand, and you could do as you wished with her.

“what do you want me to do, baby? tell me, and i’ll do it.” the idol’s lips met your neck as she left the softest and lightest pecks at its base. truth be told, karina would do anything for you. if you told her to jump, she would say how high. if you said to run, she would ask how far.

“you don’t have to do anything, jimin.” you whispered, not noticing the pout that formed on her lips.

she stared up at you with her darkened eyes, “no. my baby doesn’t understand how much i care about her, so i need to do something.”

“there’s nothing that can be done about it.” you said softly, pulling your neck away from her lips. the action made her face fall, but she was able to connect the dots and figured out immediately what the issue at hand was.

jimin’s hands moved to gently, but firmly, hold your waist. “look at me, y/n.” she quietly demanded, and you complied, of course. you would always do whatever she wanted, that was no question.

her gaze never left yours as she spoke, sending a flush to your face in the process. “i love you.”

karina’s lips kissed your forehead, then your cheek, and then the tip of your nose. the realization of her statement made your stomach flutter. you two had never said the words to each other; this was the first time you had heard her say it.

“i only love you, y/n.”

she repeated herself, emphasizing each syllable as she pulled you in closer to her. she scanned your face for any sign of a reaction. her revelation was something she had always known herself, but she figured that by finally saying it out loud to you it may give you reassurance.

you wrapped your arms around her neck and pressed your lips against hers. jimin reciprocated immediately, letting a sigh escape from her mouth as she melted against you. you were her only true weakness, but also her only true strength. it was a beautiful balance; one that she was hell bent on keeping.

once you pulled away, your foreheads rested against each other. the two of you remained like that for a moment, simply relishing in the intimate moment. karina loved you, and you now knew that without the shadow of a doubt. despite her history with minjeong, she was so certain of her feelings for you. she had told you countless times how winter was not the one she had feelings for, and that it was only ever you.

for her it was always, and only ever going to be, you. for you, it was always, and only ever going to be, her.

“i love you too, jimin.”

from that moment on, your relationship was more established. you two both knew that you were only each others, despite what the media thought. your relationship had to be secret, especially since minjeong or her other members didn’t know. however, despite keeping everyone in the dark, you two felt no regrets whatsoever.

especially in situations like now, when you two were making out in the practice room that her members had been in just mere minutes before.

jimin was on top of you again, a sight that you saw often, but you would never get tired of it either. your back pressed into the wooden floor beneath you, which was freezing earlier, but since jimin pounced on you the moment you came through the door, your body felt anything but cold.

the idol’s hands dug into your waist, making you moan into her mouth. your secret lover grinned into the kiss, relishing in the effect she had on you. jimin was in the palm of your hand, but you were equally in hers as well.

the two of you halted your movements once you heard footsteps echoing down the hall. however, jimin didn’t care about getting caught. she just didn’t want someone interrupting you two right now.

“shh,” she whispered against your lips, pecking them once more before she pulled herself off of you. she still hovered over your frame, but her body wasn’t pressed against yours. her midnight hues scanned your face, something she always had a habit of doing. she loved memorizing your features and committing them to her memory. you were a masterpiece, a true work of art. how could she not admire you?

“beautiful.”

jimin’s hands intertwined with yours, her lips meeting your knuckles in a sweet gesture. a shade of crimson flushed your face. even after all this time, her compliments seemed to always have the same effect on you.

“says the idol on top of me.” you replied, chest still slightly heaving as you attempted to catch your breath. you never fully understood how someone like her feel completely in love with you. especially since her relationship with her band member was seen as the epitome of every relationship. however, you never thought too long about it, especially when your lover was always so quick to reassure you.

the mentioned idol leaned down and kissed your lips once more, slowly but firmly. she was insatiable, naturally. but she couldn’t help herself. you were practically the definition of perfection in her eyes. she would never be able to get enough of you. she wasn’t complaining, though.

“marry me, y/n.”

she whispered against your lips, but before you could even say anything in response, she pressed another quick kiss to your swollen lips. “marry me and we won’t have to hide. then they can’t force me to do anything anymore.”

“jimin,” you warned, thinking she was somehow joking, but one glance at her and you knew she wasn’t. she had the same attentive expression on her face as always. you could practically see the wheels turning in her head. “let’s not do anything stupid.”

karina kissed the crown of your head gently, treating your body as if it was the most delicate thing in existence. “i’m tired of hiding. aren’t you?”

“your contract would be in jeopardy, my love.” you tried to reason, hoping that you would remind her of her job’s responsibilities. she was bound by her contact to her idol duties, and she was also the leader of aespa. she couldn’t exactly abandon that just for you, and you wouldn’t ask her to do such a thing anyway.

karina whined and you kissed her temple. “i’ll threaten to leave, then.” your brows furrowed as you looked at her in disbelief once more. “you will do no such thing, rina.”

the idol groaned once more, but chose to ignore your logical reasoning by kissing you fervently again. you tried to push her away to continue chastising her, but she kept chasing your lips. the older girl was about to attack your neck, but the buzzing of your phone caught both of you off guard.

reluctantly pulling away from your lover, you reached for it and answered without looking.

“hello?”

“y/n, what’s with this audio file?”

your brow furrowed as you gently moved jimin off of you. “which one?”

“the one you sent me wasn’t the one for the title track.”

your face met your forehead as you groaned, mentally trying to figure out which one you accidentally sent. fortunately for you, your boss jogged your memory.

“y/n, i don’t know what you…you and karina do…but uh, you definitely sent the wrong one.”

the color drained from your face and your gaze met jimin’s. her brows furrowed, since her close proximity, she could hear the conversation going on. however, she was just as lost as you. the two of you kept everything you did private, including your intimate moments. so how on earth would someone else know?

“ill uh, ill look into it. sorry, again.” you replied, still just as confused. you moved your phone to your other ear before mouthing something to karina. “what is he talking about?”

she only shrugged, standing up and reaching over to grab her phone from her bag. your attention was brought back to your conversation.

“yeah, i don’t know what you’re going to tell the other girls though. just send me the track by tonight.”

he ended the call once you exchanged farewells, but once you turned to jimin, you finally realized what audio file you had accidentally sent.

it was from the night you two got drunk in the studio. you had accidentally left the record button on in the booth, which picked up every single sound and word that was exchanged.

your face flushed red, and as you turned to face jimin, she stared at her phone with a smile on her face.

“what?” she asked, tilting her head at you once she made eye contact.

you swallowed the lump in your throat, trying your best to calm your racing heart. your boss had heard you and karina, basically reliving the moment you two shared with a front row seat. “jimin, he heard the recording of us from the night we got drunk in the studio.”

the idol’s smile only grew wider, making you feel significantly more confused. why was she smiling at a time like this?

jimin held her phone to your face, showing you her screen. it was her conversation with minjeong.

it was text after text of minjeong cursing at jimin, numerous amounts of “fuck you” and “how could you” messages. the realization suddenly hit you once you read the final message: “we’re done.” and your manager’s words echoed in your mind once again.

“yeah, i don’t know what you’re going to tell the other girls though.”

shit. they heard it.

“we don’t have to hide anymore, baby.” jimin grinned and kissed your face over and over, practically bursting at the seams with energy. you looked at her like she was insane. the smile on jimin��s face was the brightest you had ever seen. she swayed you in her arms, holding you close and forgetting about her phone and her extremely upset ex.

however, she didn’t care. and truthfully? neither did you. the only thing you cared about was getting the title track sent in by your deadline.

you suddenly felt a smile growing on your face, mirroring hers. you didn’t have to hide anymore, and with minjeong knowing as well, things would definitely look different with their management. jimin wouldn’t have to threaten anyone, and she would get to have her relationship with you.

“i’m going to show everyone that you’re my lover, the real love of my life.” jimin whispered in your ear.

your smile never faltered, and you could only feel butterflies in your stomach at the thought of being able to go out and do public dates with your girlfriend. “we can go on dates,” she continued, pressing a kiss to your cheek and then again on your lips. “i don’t care what people will say,” karina’s eyes glinted with happiness. “i’m yours, and you are mine.”

you wrapped your arms around her neck, looking up at her with the same lovesick look she shared with you. “let’s go on vacation somewhere, just you and me.” she proposed as she wrapped her arms around your waist.

“i’d like that,” you answered with a giggle, feeling ticklish as she nuzzled her nose into your shoulder. with a deep breath, she inhaled your scent and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “we can leave once the title track is released.”

“how about hawaii?” karina asked, pressing her lips to your neck gently. “i’ve heard their black beaches are gorgeous.”

you hummed in thought, recalling the numerous times you two had mentioned traveling somewhere together just to get away. but with the comeback preparations and summer ambassador activities, your plans were often squashed.

“hm, i don’t know jimin. we have a lot to clean up here.”

she groaned into your neck, “come on, don’t be a bummer, babe.”

however, now that your schedules were going to be much more free, you decided now would be the best time to go.

“fine, lets do it.”

the photos of you two making out on the sandy black beaches in hawaii made headlines the next weekend, but neither of you cared anymore. you didn’t care about hiding, she didn’t care about what people said about her and minjeong. she didn’t care because now she got the girl she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid to show it.

karina’s face was plastered all over media outlets, and aespa gained a lot of attention from your relationship. even though most people didn’t know who you were, once karina publicly mentioned your name in an interview the amount of attention you received was enormous. she had always defended your name though, making sure to come for anyone that dared taint your name. she was fine with people taking her name through the mud, but yours?

she would rather burn her own hands than let someone else harm you.

minjeong and the others were still very upset with their leader, but it wasn’t like they could do anything about it. it wasn’t like the two of you were going to stop.

your once secret, undercover love was now in the light, and the only thing that mattered to you was the success of aespa and your girlfriend’s well being.

but for karina, the only thing that mattered to her was you. that, and what style of ring she was going to buy you after the comeback was over.

after all, weddings were often better in the spring, but this summer was not a bummer at all. the only bummer was how she was going to get her members to forgive her and be her bridesmaids, but that was a problem for later.

a/n: to the anon who requested this...thank you so MUCH 😋

#karina x reader #aespa #winrina #yu jimin #karina #yu jimin x reader #karina aespa #kpop #kpop fic #summer bummer #perfectsunlight

384 notes · View notes

windvexer · 1 year

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hello! another little question on tarot if i may.

when i read more casually my readings were usually very relaxed and with simple meanings, accurate with by the book meanings but not super specific. as i become more ambitious i became super motivated to learn all the nuance i possibly can, its an interesting journey but.. doesnt seem to work in practice. i always knew it but everyone and their mama will always have interpretations that can seem stupid to others, even among experts in the field. question is how do you deal with that?

Im seeing that as my study deepens and Im working with Apollo to achieve that, some interpratations that are organically coming up and rooting themselves in my practice can seem just straight up weird to some people. how do i deal with that? have you experienced that? everyone seems so Agressive about their interpretations being the proper ones.

Listen to me.

You must engage in the most batshit methods of reading tarot. You must design your own systems of reading with all the glee of a young boy throwing rocks off an overpass. You must read tarot so bizarrely that it makes you feel like a mad scientist.

You must decide for yourself every rule and ritual which makes tarot "work," and you must develop methods of reading that hinge upon destroying those ideations. You must make vehicles of meaning, drive them as fast as you can down the freeway of tarot, and crash them at full speed into brick walls. You must laugh at the fiery destruction you have wrought, and you must sprint all the way back to the launch pad to begin building something else.

They will be Aggressive with you over what the cards really mean? They are fools. They do not know the depths to which you can tear apart their petty systems. They think the extent of tarot perversion is choosing the wrong meaning for the card. They think this because they have mistaken the surface of the water for the depths of the ocean.

They think the height of tarot discourse is whether or not it's okay to not memorize card meanings. They think tarot is a pretty sea turtle languidly drifting in a sunny reef.

Go down in that ocean and dredge up the most horrifying bulbous-eyed god-defying pale abomination you can find. Map out new depths of horror. Make friends with the purely absurd. Perform atrocities with tarot and hang each one around your neck like the badge of honor it is. Crack tarot's spine and drink from the fluid that drips out. Become a monster, do you hear me?

And when they smirk at you because they think they know better words to tape to the Knight of Swords, you will open your mouth and say the most dumbfounding shit that person has ever heard and blast them with a ray of psychic damage so severe it will make them question if they should keep reading tarot lest they be associated with someone like you.

"Well akshually, knight cards do the queen's bidding, so in this case-"

"Haha, yeah! Once for a couple of months I worked exclusively with a system where the four knights were the rulers of the deck. I divided up the major arcana cards between the knights as their servants, but since there's one card left over, I incorporated a system where one of the four knights was the 'ruler' of that reading. Then I laid out all four knights as signifiers and dealt the entire deck between all four knights and the reading was based on which omens were collected under the ruling knight."

"Haha, yeah! Once for like two weeks I assigned all the court cards to be my favorite anime blorbos and I read from a restricted deck that only used court cards and major arcana. I'd draw one major arcana card to be the battlefield setting and then two court cards. To resolve the reading I wrote fanfiction about the characters fighting and whichever character won would decide the outcome of the question. It's actually how I got started using creative writing as a form of exploratory divination!"

"Haha, yeah! One weekend I decided to find out what would happen if I read in such a way that sword cards could 'kill' other cards in the deck, and the Knight of Pentacles ended up getting 'killed' like three times that weekend and ever since then it's always coming up in readings about sadness and depression, isn't that weird?"

"Haha, yeah! Well today I'm reading with a system where I meditate until a recurring character from my dreams appears and asks me to possess one of my tarot cards, and today No-Eyes the Whale asked to possess that knight card, so that's why I'm not using your meanings."

Do they challenge you? They cannot challenge you. Are you not shuffling right? Are you getting scolded for not fOcUsInG enough when you shuffle? Look them in the eye and say something so deranged they will think about it for the rest of their life.

"Haha, yeah! I remember the last time I used those meanings, it was so fun. I got drunk, shuffled my tarot deck, and laid out piles of three cards around my house, sight-unseen. For the next three days I kept running into these little three-card readings hidden everywhere, but funnily enough, they all ended up being past-present-future readings of the ten second timespan when I picked up the cards. I even predicted getting the phone call about losing my health insurance!"

"Haha, yeah! I actually decided to re-assign every single card to my custom twelve element system, so I don't see the same divisions between the suits as you do. Look, this card is the element pearl! Pearls are an element, I decided a couple of months ago. It's a really long story but it helps explain what happened to No-Eyes."

"Haha, yeah! I don't use intuition to choose cards out of a lineup. I turn them all face up and select all the cards that I think are the most likely ones to show up in the reading. Then, I go through the entire deck and match every single card with it's polar opposite. Then, I put the deck face-down and flip cards over. If I flip over a sword or a wand card, I exchange my chosen card with its opposite, but if it's a major arcana card I keep both my chosen card and its opposite."

"Haha, yeah! I don't shuffle. Like, at all. Once I'm done with the reading I put cards on the bottom of the deck and then just draw new cards from the top of the deck."

"Haha, yeah! I mixed all my decks together and sorted the superdeck into piles of every elementally aligned card. In order to resolve questions I have a yu-gi-oh duel with myself."

Eat the tarot. Consume it whole and raw. Tear away at it until you fear there is nothing left, and then go back for more. Each time you eat its heart, it will become refined before your eyes. Assist the tarot in shedding its decrepit cloak of meaning. Rescue it by killing it. Rend tarot in your hands like a child ripping at crafting clay.

And if you destroy it well enough, and for long enough, it will be reborn in your hands as it was meant to be: glimmering and pure, whole and new, ineffable and eternal, your dearest friend,

and so shiny and smooth that no meanings at all can stick to it.

That is what you do with people who get Aggressive about what the cards really mean.

#answered #tarot #tbl

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honeytonedhottie · 11 months

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how to plan and organize ur life(ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

i have been planning with notion for a little over a year and i have MAXIMIZED my productivity. im focused on my goals and i feel so in control when i know exactly what im doing.

planning has a multitude of benefits and perks, in this post i'll break down the basics of planning from my experience.

my main objective when planning out my week is efficiency. i have a page for my calendar, my monthly goals, and my weekdays.

i also focus largely on the aesthetic of my notion because aesthetics have always held priority in my mind and if my agenda is pretty and pink i find that i want to complete it more.

if u have a bigger task in ur agenda i find that breaking it down into steps makes it more approachable. notion has a toggle feature that helps the aesthetics and makes the task look less overwhelming if u break it down.

i put a quote or two on my agenda that helps me to stay motivated and committed to my goals. i set 2-4 monthly goals because thats as much as i can take. an important aspect of planning is knowing urself well enough to know what is too much or what is too little because its different for everybody.

during the weekdays i always plan in categories; self care, most important, tenfold, and extra.

SELF CARE ꕤ.ﾟ - self care is just as important as work related tasks. self care can be as simple as taking a nap or scheduling a manicure, or however u spend time with urself. its important not to neglect self care and balance attention and effort into all areas or ur life.

MOST IMPORTANT ꕤ.ﾟ- most important includes the tasks that u need to do in order to achieve ur long and short term goals, it also includes what u have scheduled like appointments etc.

TENFOLD ꕤ.ﾟ- tenfold is tasks that have a high ROI (return on investment) tenfold would include tasks that u do that would improve the quality of ur life.

EXTRA ꕤ.ﾟ- other miscellaneous tasks that u need to do

i create a fresh agenda every weekend so that then i can have the most fulfilling and productive weeks <3

#notion #productivity #wonyoungism #self care #self management #efficiency

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sseniita · 2 months

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hello op, I adore the villain you've created in the medical malpractice piece. their energy, their quips, their motivations, their dynamic with the hero. it's brilliant and perfect and please, please do write more about them. "firework" now has permanently changed my mind. maybe a continuation or maybe another one-shot if you're interested? it's great stuff

omg thank u sm,, i was proud of it! and ofc! i didn't have a story laid out for them but im always happy to revisit my works (maybe even w/ suggestions wink wink nudge nudge) !! sorry for the late update, i may be silent but trust, i am lurking

medical malpractice: healing boredom

The villain hadn't expected for this to go on for this long, but the little hero was resilient. If the villain didn't know any better, he'd think the hero was getting as much as a kick out of this as he was. His thoughts took over his mind, only snapping out of it when he heard the squeak from the hero and the flinch away from his healing hands.

"Ouch." Hero cradled their newly healed fingers to their chest.

"Oh, so sorry, firework. I was distracted." The hero returned their hand and the villain got to work on their thumb. Maybe snapping each of their fingers last night was overkill they thought- he shouldn't be giving himself this much work. Each heal was a meticulous and fragile process; it took more power than messing with a frontal lobe or blocking an artery. The villain cursed silently as he moved to the hero's other hand.

"I didn't know you could do that." The villain hummed in confusion, asking for elaboration with a raised eyebrow. "Hurt."

The hero was smarter than the villain thought, but apparently also vulnerable to charm. They dismissed things when disguised as a joke or flirtatious comment. Which explains why the villain now spent their Tuesday and Thursday afternoons playing footsies with the Hero under oval tables at meetings. He had had many close calls.

"Mmm. Everyone can hurt someone, Hero." He responded, focused on the hero's untrimmed cuticles.

"Yes, but I didn't think you could do it physically, with your powers."

"Well, healing involves pain, does it not?"

"You don't make it hurt."

"Ah, you've never been healed by someone as talented as me is all."

The hero chuckled. "So it's a skill thing?"

"Of course. A bad nurse would draw blood during a vaccination," He smiled up at the hero, healing the hero's pinky without breaking eye contact. "but you wouldn't feel a thing with a practiced nurse"

The hero's eyes widened at the realization their pinky had been healed. They wiggled each finger that only an hour earlier had turned purple and gone limp.

"Oh, you are good. Thank you, Nurse." They said, impressed, batting their eyelashes and smiling at their fully functioning fingers. The villain stared at the clock, ticking towards 9 PM and letting him know it had taken almost an hour to heal the hero's fingers. Never breaking fingers again, he thought.

"You're all set. Anything else you needed from me?" The hero leaned back against their arms on the examination table, leisurely displaying themselves in their ripped suit with half lidded eyes. They crossed their legs and tilted their head to the side.

What are you playing at, Firework?

"Well, I don't know. I hate that our little meetings run so short."

"They're very frequent." The villain shrugged.

The hero rubbed over the tissue on the examination table, making an infuriating crackling noise. They continued at it while speaking. "I have a kink in my neck."

"I'm a doctor, not a masseuse, Firework." The villain said, turning his back toward the hero, distracting himself from the noise of Hero's fidgeting by organizing paperwork and folders at his desk.

The hero had been at this game the past few visits. Coming up with excuses and making up stories about them and the villain that he knew didn't happen. Last week the hero had said the villain threw them against a brick wall and broke their arm. The villain had certainly not done that.

He was starting to get annoyed at how peculiar the hero actually was. They blabbered non-stop while he took x-rays, they became very sweaty very fast, and they had acquired a staring problem when he inspected them. He assumed the fighting had finally gotten to them. It always does.

"Well, could you maybe at least look at it?" The villain sighed, mourning the fun he had had the past months. Was the joy of fighting the hero really worth the effort of healing them over and over again?

He turned to the hero, a red and sweaty mess, and moved his hands up their neck, getting close to inspect under their hair, to know exactly where to press. If they were lucky, they'd hit pressure point and the hero would drop dead.

The hero wouldn't stay still, squirming under him and leaning their head back. Their hand reached for his elbow and a light tug had made an effort to make them face each other. Noses just inches away from each other. The villain was about to ask what was wrong before he noticed the hero's glance to his lips.

Oh.

The villain was pleasantly surprised at the hero's delusion about their relationship, but that was neither here nor there. He smiled softly at the hero, taking complete control and kissing them even softer on the lips. He liked being a few steps ahead of them. The villain knew the hero had no self control and so was prepared when they grabbed onto the lapel of his lab coat and pushed him on top of them, deepening the kiss as they went.

The hero was very different in this state. Grasping onto the villain to save their life, throwing the stethoscope around his neck to the floor. Hero was in bliss, and the villain decided to keep going along. After the villain's coat was on the floor but before the hero could reach for the villain's belt, the pair was distracted by a knock on the frosted door.

"Shoot." The hero hissed, finally regaining themself, sitting up and diving for the villain's coat on the floor. Sorry they mouthed before yelling towards the door.

"Justaminute!"

"Hurry up in there!" A voice called from the other side.

The hero was red in the face as they fixed their suit, struggling with the zipper the villain had started pulling down. The villain smirked, taking the liberty of zipping it up the rest of the way, his cold hands earning a flinch from the hero. They turned back towards him, before the hero opened their mouth the villain hushed them.

"I'll come see you later, okay Firework?" Their head tilted, their eyes lustful, and their hands right at his sides, exactly where the hero didn't want them. All the hero could utter out was a pathetic Ok, biting their lip to hide their gushing smile before rushing out of the office, only mouthing a bye halfway down the hall.

The villain watched them leave. They didn't mind the 6 or so heroes awaiting treatment. They had begun to regret their choice, chalking it up to a waste of time and effort. All they had wanted from the hero was the occasional fight to get out of boring afternoons lazing around the mayor's office- that had gotten stale. But this could work too. Oh, this could definitely work too, he thought with a dreamy smile. As he gestured for his next client to come in, he knew it would be a messy healing job- he found himself a tad bit distracted.

Healing his boredom would hurt, it just wouldn't hurt him. If he played his cards right, the hero wouldn't even notice their own destruction. After all, he was a very talented doctor.

#writing #villain x hero #hero x villain #original fiction #oh BROTHER this guy stinks #angst-ish #whump??#thanks for the ask #love u very much

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reii-naa · 14 days

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im so brain dead right now

angst , platonic , gn ! reader , student ! reader , one-sided relationship where ratio is readers fav teacher but ratio doesn't see the reader as a remarkable/eye-catching student , academic pressure , reader changes personality (mentioned)

my first angst so it might suck

dr. ratio was hard to please. if one were to get a few mistakes in his subject exam, they're mere idiots to him. indeed he values knowledge, and wants his students to learn more rather than remain stagnant, but his words were rather harsh, hurting his students in the process, intentional or not.

the only time a person could be subjected to his praise is when they're 'perfect' high grades, high awards, obedient, never into trouble and doesn't view themselves higher than anyone. it's of no surprise that the scholar had such high standards.

the rest of the guild along with the students (under his teachings or not) were scared of veritas, not wanting to offend him. some try to earn his praise, but were met with harsh words when they weren't of his ideals, especially those who cheated to climb the ranks.

a particular student had grew a fond of this picky scholar, making the man their favorite teacher. [y.n] knew of how dr. ratio could be, but they try to gain his attention. they wanted to prove the mundanite that they're the one true student that can meet his standards. it was a challenge for them, a motivation to earn high praise and get good grades.

with their motivation, [y.n] slowly climbed the ranks but was never the top. for a long while now, they tried their best to gain the mans attention, to the point of pressuring themselves while doing so.

the student would have headaches, gained insomnia, grew fatigued, gradually got more anxious, and shaped themselves far from their original self all for the attention and praise of their favorite teacher. whenever [y.n] would come home, they would pass out in the couch. although, they realized ratio's ideal student wouldn't pass out once they entered their home. no- veritas ratio's ideal student wouldn't leave their house messy and uncleaned.

and thus, [y.n] took pills that prevented them from sleeping too much, along with some coffee even if it will heighten their anxiety. they forced themselves to clean their house sparkly clean, organizing everything and thus becoming akin to a perfectionist.

once they noticed they noticed bags under their eyes, they looked paler than before. this caused [y.n] to buy makeup to cover it up and add color to their face. they always felt uneasy whenever they thought they weren't of veritas' expectations, but force themself to study more as a distraction.

their hopes were crushed during class, when veritas gave their papers back. it was their recent test and he was disappointed.

"more than half of you failed! such imbeciles, can't you understand a simple lesson that i've been generously repeating over and over again?!" ratio yells. [y.n] quickly became anxious. one of the reasons why they wanted to gain his attention was to ease him and prevent yellings like this. they wanted to be his favorite student to avoid the man to stop teaching.

"i had simplified it, dumbed it down for easier understanding, gave all of you learning materials online and yet only few passed. are all of you even paying attention and willing to learn?!" the mundanite asks, not wearing his plaster head as his frustration that he has probably been building up for quite a while now could be seen clear in his sharp features. "it's to the point one if you nearly got a zero! disappointing.. is it even worth teaching all of you?"

[y.n] tried to keep their cool, but their hands were shaking, gripping their thighs as they listen their favorite teacher scold his class. they look down at the paper, their score being the passing score. 27.5 over 50.

"emilia, spencer and camillia were one of the few who managed to get the highest score. the rest are either doing the bare minimum or just aren't giving effort." veritas clicks his tongue. now that priced [y.n] in the heart. their name wasn't mentioned, and dr. ratio said that the rest, them included were either doing little effort or just didn't try to answer the test.

it hurt them, because they've been trying to hard to gain his attention but their name never rolled the scholars tongue even once. we're they not enough? the doctor leaves, disappointed. while [y.n]'s class whispered and chatted among themselves, they stood up and chased after their teacher.

"professor ratio! a word!" they exclaimed, approaching the tall man. the doctor turns around, head adorned with his plaster to block out the noises let out by the mediocrity. he turns around with a sigh. "now what is it that you want?" [y.n] stands in front of him, dr veritas ratio, his one and only favorite teacher, his motivation.

"i just.. want to inquire about my performance in class. how am i doing in my academics, are my grades okay.." they asks, resisting the urge to fidget. "i do see you trying your best.." the scholar mumbled, giving the student some hope.

"but it's not enough."

that one sentence tore [y.n] apart. not enough? but they have been trying and studying with sweat and tears for so long! what does he mean by 'not enough'?!

"p- professor, what do you mean by that?" they ask with a slight tremble in their voice. "i see changes in your grades and academics, though it isn't much. it's little. it would only go up by two or three points, but that's all." ratio answered, tone blunt. "it's not as high and impressive as spencer's or emilia's or.. camillia's.."

[y.n]'s heart wrenches at the mention of the three. "are.. they your favorite student?" they ask their teacher. "not exactly, but i'm pleased with their high grades. even if they're not my ideal students, they're quite close to it. but of course, they have flaws in their character."

all the poor student can do is to swallow the words their favorite teacher told them. the words ring in their ears, their breath stuck to their throat as their jaw tightens. they fight the urge to cry ugly, break down and sob uncontrollably right in front of veritas. it hurts their heart.

"i.. see.." was all [y.n] managed to mutter, balling his hands into a fist. "what? not pleased with my answers?" the man crosses his arms, tone harsh. "no, no- that's.. i'm not disappointed with your answers.. professor.." silence fills the hair, before [y.n] asks again. "am i.. a good student, professor?"

ratio hums, tapping the chin of his plaster head before he answers. "you are well-behaved and obedient in class. as much as you are a good student, you need to improve in your overall character and academic performance. there's more room for improvement."

[y.n] nods, lips pressed into a thin line as their eyes looked down unto the floor. even if veritas said such a small praise, it wouldn't change the fact that he tote the pride and hope of [y.n] into shreds. to them, it was worse than being called by numerous insults. were they not good enough? how much was enough? how much suffering, and how long would it take for ratio to recognize their skills? how long will they have to wait for the genius scholar to speak his name even once?

"if you have nothing else to say, then i'll take my leave." footsteps echo the halls, fading as the man left a shattered student. [y.n] lets out tears, unable to stop them. "professor.."

"how long will you torment me?"

this was actually based in recent experience when my science tr compared my class with the other section, indirectly calling us stupid when she saw my class' test results (most of us failed, and yes someone nearly got 0)..rest is pure fiction and work of my mind

#hsr angst #honkai star rail angst #star rail angst #reiinaa.angst writings #dr ratio angst

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