#do we think that stems from the people around him acting in ways he didnt like leading this desire for control | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawberryseeded · 1 year

Photo

i loved how this arc was so centered around non-chan!!!!!!!! it rly felt like we finally got to where it all started

the story did a wonderful job in showing how hananoi changed thru the series, while at the same time not shying away from also showing he still struggles and fucks up

like. his confrontation with non-chan highlighted all of his flaws. ALL of them.

how single-minded he is. how unforgiving he is. how awfully he can treat others bc he thinks theyr a nuisance/an obstacle 4 his and hotaru’s happiness. how obsessed he is w hotaru and hotaru only, and how this, and his desire for a relationship in which they are both the most important person to each other, ends up working against him. even if at the end of the day he truly wishes for her happiness and well-being, he can’t help but dumping way to much on her because he only cares about her. by only considering her happiness and prioritizing her above everyone and everything (including himself), hes actually being selfish. hes hurting her.

and literally all of this stems from his trauma. he has this deep, deep rooted insecurity complex. he’s never enough for other ppl. no matter what he does, how he looks, what he feels, hes just not good enough to be loved. to be prioritized by others.

this gets even worse after witnessing what happened between hotaru and non-chan when they were kids. not being able to do anything, he ended up feeling truly worthless. his desire to be someone’s number 1 remained, but the painful belief that deep down he just wasn’t cut to be loved, that they would leave them at the end, holded him back from truly getting that he wanted.

hes just always so hard on himself, unable to forgive himself for what he did. unable to believe someone will truly accept him for who he is and love him. not leave him.

and he constantly, and violently, projects this insecurity on other people, and its actually fucking hard to watch. whn hes saying he can’t forgive non-chan for hurting hotaru, hes actually saying he can’t forgive himself as well. how dare she get close to hotaru, after what he did?? (and how dare he, after what he did?)

but at the end of this arc... he apologizes to her. because cornering non-chan like that ended up hurting hotaru, which is what he was trying to avoid ((note that he still doesnt forgive her tho)).

the thing is.. hananoi is constantly jealous and insecure bc hotaru has other ppl she cares abt besides him. this is a very hard pill to swallow, and also the very premise of this series. hotaru has many other ppl she loves in her life, while hananoi doesnt have anyone BUT hotaru (according to him), so everyone except hotaru is either unimportant or part of the competition. thats why he so hostile towards everyone; its not that he thinks he is superior. on the contrary, hes afraid to lose to them.

(not to mention by acting so cold hes clearly giving ppl reasons to not get close to him from the very beginning. he even says it himself: hes gone out w every single girl that confessed 2 him because “if shes capable of confessing 2 someone like me, she must be a very kind person”. even when hes trying his best to meet his soulmate, hes showing his worst side from the start, in hopes whoever approaches him already knows how bad he is. its a doomed relationship bc hes simply set up to fail (not 2 mention all the toxic shit he does afterwards lol).

for this same reason he also kinda sucks at hiding his hostile behaviour towards hotaru’s friends from hotaru herself, to the point someone mentions this to him, asking if he didnt even think they would tell hotaru. of course he did. deep down, hes just hoping to give her reasons to dump him. hes sabotaging himself)

so at the beginning of the series he tolerates the ppl close to hotaru (only tolerates, still fearful). bc the hotaru he loves is someone that loves others, cares about others, and helps others. thats when shes the happiest. she would not be hotaru if she wasnt like that. he already knew this, so he bears with it.

non-chan was very important to hotaru, as well. and bc shes hotaru, even after getting hurt badly by her, she still doesn’t wish for anything bad to happen to non-chan. that will actually hurt hotaru more.

but thats not the only reason why hananoi regrets what he did to non-chan..... and this is very important:

non-chan hurt hotaru because shes very similar to hananoi. because she felt too deeply and couldnt put herself in hotarus shoes. hananoi sees himself in non-chan, and thats the reason why he dislikes her so much and wants her to get away from hotaru. why he cant forgive her.

but during his apology, its obvious that he can now feel sympathy for her as well. he understands why shes like that. and even if he cant forgive her, he seems to think she still deserves happiness. and he even gives her advice bc he can see what shes lacking.

by the point he meets non-chan again, he’s not completely over his trauma (and dare i say probably neither him or hotaru will ever be), but he’s not the same guy from chapter one. he’s changed, bc he’s gone through A LOT: in pursuit of his goal, hes met so many new people; got close to them, close enough to consider them friends bc they are great people, and he likes them and (shockingly for him) he found out that they liked him back.... hes.... hes likable... even after they get to know how weird he is. they want to be around him, hang out w him, be there for him when he needs help! how messed up is that???????

so hes not only fully recognizing he messed up for hurting non-chan... after apologizing, hes just beginning to finally understand that his own actions hurt hotaru because HE is important to HER (which despite everything, he still has a hard time believing). she doesnt want him 2 act like that bc she cares abt him. holy fuck!!!!!!! its almost as if he is... actually deserving of being loved by others....

when he says to non-chan that she was the person hotaru (the most important person to him) liked the most, hes telling her exactly that. thats shes lovable, in spite of what she thinks of herself.

relationships w other ppl can hurt us. thats what hananoi knows. but they also nurture us, fill us with joy, make us grow. that is what hes still learning. what he is starting to see. and hes actually enjoying it, even if sometimes its (very) hard for him.

#SPOILERS////#i wanted 2 write abt hahanois arc as well and FUCK do i hv a lot of shit 2 say omfg????#this manga is................so good.....#di4ry

0 notes

ao719 · 3 years

Note

dont you feel like Drake gets attacked unfairly in this fandom? people are so mean to him and there are even hate accounts on here dedicated to him 😭 he gave up his whole life for Liam, he even left college and didnt start his own life just to help him 😭

and Liam is so creepy, if you dont romance him he makes you give him your baby 😭 like I said i dont love you, go away and marry Olivia 🤡 and let me live in peace with 🤍Drake🤍

you write him so good, I know you understand him even if your a Liam stan and not a Drake stan. what do you think?

I mean, you started out by asking if Drake gets unfairly attacked, then went on to say “and Liam is so creepy, if you don’t romance him he makes you give him your baby 😭” (to a Liam stan blog💀)

There’s arguments for both Drake and Liam, like Drake giving up college, or Liam “stealing” your baby ... a lot of arguments.

•Drake left college to come to Liam’s side:

Yes, he did — at Leo’s request. Leo is the one who came to Drake. Leo is the one who asked Drake to come back. Drake agreed on his own. Liam told Drake to go back, Drake chose not to go. Do I understand why? Yes. But Drake choosing to stay in Cordonia is not a fault of Liam’s and not something that should be hung over his head when Liam has shown Drake nothing but gratitude for it.

•“LiAm sToLe OuR bAbY.”:

Liam did not steal anyone’s baby or make anyone give him their baby. Just saying that statement out loud is laughable.

Liam asked a simple question, and the LI (as out of character as it may have seemed for them — which I agree was completely OOC for Drake) was the first to jump and say yes and how it would be an honor. That’s it. And your MC agreed to this as well, whether you wanted it or not. This was a plot device by the writers to move the story along for ALL the LIs, so they could keep the path the same no matter who you married. It makes no sense, but that’s what the writing team chose to use. Liam did not walk up and steal anyone’s baby.

•“Well, Drake took a bullet for MC.”:

Yes, he did. Any of the LI’s would have. And we have the “LiAm dIdN’T eVeN tRy To HeLp HeR” … Liam was fighting off a dozen assassins himself across the room.

He was a tad preoccupied with a knife being swung at him -- what an asshole, right?

•“LiAm ChOsE sOmEoNe ElSe.”:

Yes, he did. Most of the time (not all), this argument comes from those who have never even romanced Liam and have never played his scenes, or it comes from those who may have romanced him in book one but stopped in book two and didn’t play his scenes further.

Liam chose someone else as a way to try and protect MC and did nothing but feel guilty for it through all of book 2. Was it shitty? Absolutely. As a Liam stan, even I was mad, and I wasn’t too fond of book 2 because of it and the act he has to put on with Madeleine in front of MC. Liam’s flaws come out in full force in book 2, and he is absolutely a flawed character who is far from perfect. He did what he thought was the best thing to protect MC; whether it was right or wrong, it’s what he thought. But let me just put this out there for some thought … considering what we now know about who was behind his mother’s death, how they were members of court, and how close they were to his family, Liam comes off as even more justified in his fear for MC’s safety and his choice to protect her. Because the entire reason he thought he needed to protect her stemmed from his mother’s death, and he tells you that in the first chapter of book 2.

However, 97% of the time, this argument is coming from those who romanced Drake and/or the others in book 1 … so by all technicality, they chose someone else first. If your playthrough consisted of your MC sneaking around behind Liam’s back, you don’t really get to be mad he chose someone else 🤷‍♀️ I have to laugh when I see that coming from those who have said that they were romancing someone else, such as Drake, from the very start. So it’s ok for MC to sneak around behind Liam’s back, but Liam making a choice to pick someone else — someone he made clear from the beginning he had zero feelings for — as his way of trying to keep MC safe is horrible? And a lot of times, they like to point out — rightfully so — that MC was, by all accounts, single; she was never with someone “officially” during that time. Guess what? Neither was Liam. And if you didn’t romance Liam at all or you knew someone else was going to be your endgame regardless, then why do you even care if he chose someone else or not? It just makes your choice that much more concrete in your playthrough.

•“LiAm DiDn’T sPeAk To MC fOr tHrEe WeEkS.”•

Nope, he didn’t. Guess what? Neither did Drake or Hana. The three of them came to a collective agreement in that flashback scene of the aftermath of the coronation that they would not contact her. None of them liked the idea, but they all agreed to do it in order to keep her safe and stave off suspicion. So if you’re going to be mad at Liam for that, be mad at the other two as well.

•“LiAm AsKeD MC tO bE hIs MiStReSs.”:

Show me where Liam specifically said to MC that if he went through with the wedding, “I want you to be my mistress.”

I’ll wait …

It never happened.

Liam told MC on the balcony that night in Fydelia (or in the scene in her room if you chose not to do the balcony scene) about Madeleine’s offer for MC to be his mistress. He told MC that that was why he chose Madeleine, so he would still be able to see her on the tour while they worked on clearing her name because Madeleine would simply assume that he was taking her up on said offer, and not that they were trying to uncover who was behind the scandal so he could break off his engagement to her. Liam never asked MC to be his mistress. He never even uses the term mistress. MC is the one who asks (if you make that specific choice) if that’s what it would make her, and he tells her no.

The only time Liam seems to dance around the topic is in Italy in the Blue Grotto diamond scene, but that depends on the choice MC chooses to say in response to him. If she tells him in the grotto that they will be over if he marries Madeleine, he says he hopes she “might reconsider,” which is the only time he even comes close to implying it. You only have two other options after that: an unequivocal “I don’t care, yes, I’m going to be with you regardless” or “I don’t know.” If MC chooses “I don’t know” (my go-to response because it’s not a yes or a no), he responds with:

In New York, in the diamond scene where they sneak out of the UN Gala, he asks MC again if she would be able to continue carrying on the way they were if they were unable to find Tariq and he ended up marrying Madeleine (and it’s clearly a rhetorical question, asked when he was questioning how he could possibly go through with marrying Madeleine). MC can choose (again) to tell Liam if he marries Madeleine, it’s over and she’s done, and he’s completely understanding of her response and her reason why and doesn’t question it further like he did in the grotto.

Is it understandable why it would be taken that way? Yes. But the fact of the matter is, no matter how much or which way you try to twist his words, Liam never came out and asked MC to be his mistress. Not once. And depending on what choices you make throughout the entirety of book 2, especially if you romance only him, it doesn’t come across that way at all, and he never once makes MC feel like that’s even something that is a consideration for them.

Again, the only reason it was brought up to begin with was because he was explaining Madeleine’s offer and why he used it as an opportunity to buy them time.

•“LiAm PrOpOsEd To my MC EvEn WhEn I DiDn’T rOmAnCe HiM.”:

Yes, he did. Here’s the thing about this book called The ROYAL Romance … the first book is centered around the Social Season of a Prince so he can choose a bride. MC knew this was the endgame the entire time. From the end of the first chapter in book 1, she was well aware of why Maxwell asked her to come to Cordonia (and she agreed to come for that reason). Liam told her himself the first night they met that he had to have Social Season to choose a bride. She chose to go to Cordonia, knowing she was going to be competing for his hand in marriage, knowing that at the end of this, he would be proposing to whoever he chose. She knew this. So whether you chose to do any of the diamond scenes with Liam or not, your MC is technically there for Liam and her initial connection, whether you wanted it to be or not, was with Liam. And nothing was ever said to him to make him believe otherwise (that’s the fault of the writers). As far as he is aware, MC is there because she wants to be with him. Why else would she have chosen to enter his Social Season that she knows will end in a marriage proposal from him? So yes, he pursues MC even without you choosing the diamond scenes. And in book 2, Liam tells her that once they clear her name, they can be together. Does she tell him no because she’s not interested? Does she tell him she has feelings for someone else? Does she tell him she doesn’t have feelings for him? No to all those questions (and again, the way it was written).

Do I see why it’s annoying and uncomfortable for others who aren’t romancing him? Absolutely. Even when I did my Drake playthrough, the whole situation made me feel super awkward. So I get it. But regardless of how much Liam should have taken the hint, the writers chose to make him blinded by his feelings and chose not to give MC an option to be honest with him. And we get the, “well, Liam is supposedly good at reading people, so how did he not know?” In book 1, the only time MC truly showed any hesitation in her feelings towards Liam was in the last chapter, at the Coronation Ball, when he tells her he loves her, and she can tell him “I need more time.” Other than that, their moments together, whether you did the diamond scenes or not, do not show it. Again, your MC has feelings for Liam in some capacity whether you want her to or not and her initial connection is with him. And perhaps Liam thought that if that were the case and she no longer felt anything for him, MC would have been honest with him. And as far as him not knowing his “best friend” (a term I use very loosely when it comes to canon Drake) had feelings for her: Drake stans love to say that Drake had to “hide his feelings,” so he was obviously hiding them in front of Liam then, right? And perhaps when it came to Drake, Liam didn’t think his so-called “friend” would betray him that way or, in the least, he would have been up-front with him about it knowing how he felt. Being good at reading people does not mean that you can always tell when others are being deceiving, and to think that is absurd. It’s just another thing that people try and use against Liam to justify Drake’s actions.

But here’s what really irks me about this argument, and I can’t speak on Hana or Maxwell because I’ve never played their routes, but for Drake (since anon is a Drake stan): he also pursues MC even if you don’t romance him. The whole “hE HaD tO hIdE hIs fEeLiNgS” is complete crap. He didn’t hide his feelings for MC at all except from Liam, the one person who he should have told. But the difference between Liam and Drake in this situation is that MC never has the option to tell Liam she’s not interested until he’s down on one knee, so it’s no wonder he doesn’t stop pursuing her, but as of chapter 14 when he admits his feelings to her, she can actually tell Drake that she’s not interested, and more than once. Chapter 14 is when he admits his feelings for her after the Tariq fiasco, and where she can first tell him she’s not interested. “I’m here for Liam.” Drake continues to pursue her after that.

He can still kiss her in chapter 15 and tells her how long he’s been waiting for it. Yes, it’s MC’s choice to kiss him, but he certainly doesn’t try to stop her (and it happens right after he tells her that he knows his best friend is head over heels for her, so he’s clearly well aware of Liam’s feelings for her).

He tells MC he wants to kiss her at the Coronation Ball in the diamond scene if you follow him outside, even with zero romance points, and after you’ve now told him twice in two other chapters beforehand that you weren’t interested.

He gives her the same longing, hungry looks at the end of book one and all throughout book two that others complain about Liam giving her in book 3, (which, hello, Liam thought he was going to marry this woman because she couldn’t be truthful and waited until he was down on one knee to tell him anything. Obviously he’s going to be hurt — have a sliver of empathy. I’m sure if it was your burnt marshmallow, y’all would be singing a different tune), even if MC has told him that she’s not interested multiple times.

Stop 👏 being 👏 hypocritical. They both pursue her regardless.

•“LiAm DiDn’T hElP cLeAr Mc’S nAmE iN tHe ScAnDaL.”

Listen … if you can’t comprehend why this couldn’t happen — why the newly crowned King of a country who is “engaged” to someone else couldn’t openly insert himself into a behind the scenes investigation to uncover a plot against the woman who was known to be his first choice throughout the entire Social Season, who people KNOW has feelings for him and that he returns those feelings — I’m not really sure what to tell you.

It’s basic common sense.

He can’t. They know going into this that whoever is behind the scandal is someone in HIS court. He’s the one more likely to get caught because of who he is since he practically lives under a microscope. So how would it help MC at all to bring more chaos into the mix if the King were to get caught trying to clear her name? It wouldn’t. It would make things worse for her. He helped when and where he could, offering resources they would otherwise be unable to have. It was discreet and few and far between, but again, it’s what he could do without drawing suspicion.

And while we’re here, for those who love to use the “hE DiDn’T tElL tHe TrUtH aBoUt CoNsTaNtInE’s iNvOlVeMeNt.” Did you not read the part where the exact reasoning behind that was explained? Liam is not a regular person off the streets who can act on impulse and emotions, no matter how much he (or we) wished he could. Sure, it would have been great and a hell of a lot easier if he had said screw it and told everyone what his father really did, but he didn’t because he couldn’t. If you want to use that against him, I think that just says more about your lack of understanding about Liam’s character than it does about him 🤷‍♀️

•“LiAm OfFeReD mY mC a CoRdOnIaN aRrAnGeMeNt aT tHe SoL.”

Wrong. Never happened. He never offers the arrangement to MC at the Statue of Liberty (or anywhere else for that matter). Please stop making stuff up 🤦‍♀️

The ONLY thing Liam mentions regarding the arrangement is that it’s not “altogether uncommon” in Cordonia. That’s it. Nowhere in any part of the story does he offer her the arrangement, does he say he’s interested in it, or does he ask her if it’s something that she would consider. Nothing. He does tell her that it happens “with the knowledge of their partner,” which at that point in the story, MC had turned down Liam’s proposal but hadn’t even told her chosen LI yet that she picked them. She has no partner to acknowledge what happens between her and Liam at the SoL. So there’s no need for him to even offer her anything because at that point, she is still very much single.

And here’s the kicker with this one: the only way Liam even mentions that to your MC is if you turned down his proposal AND agreed to sleep with him on top of the Statue of Liberty afterward. If you choose Liam and accepted his proposal, he never mentions it. If you turned him down and choose to not sleep with him at the top of the SoL, he never mentions it. So, the only way your MC can even have that discussion with him is if she just wants to get laid because Liam’s dick is that good, despite her having just completely broken this man’s heart. If you want to do that option, more power to you (I most definitely did during my Drake playthrough), but the fact that people still have the audacity to try and use that against him when it’s only mentioned (not offered) if the MC uses him -- leads him on some more sleeps with him … 👌

•“Drake is just the greatest friend to Liam. Ever.”:

Fanfic wise, maybe, only because we can write him that way if we choose to. Canon? Not in my opinion. To me, Drake is canonically a terrible friend. You don’t have to agree with me, that’s fine, but this is a hill I will die on.

All of book 1 and book 2 is spent with Liam and Drake singing each other’s praises to MC. Once you choose Drake at the end of book 2, that goes out the window, at least for Drake (and yes, I’ve played his route and every one of his diamond scenes).

Drake says it himself in book 2, chapter 6 when he first tells MC about him leaving college and she tells him that he’s a good friend to Liam — here comes the hungry smolder he gives her — and he says “...most of the time.” That’s really not a hard line of dialogue to interpret. You know exactly what he means and why he’s saying it.

Let’s not forget the Homecoming Ball — you know, the one where if you choose Liam, he and MC are engaged, and that is the night Drake finally decides he wants to fuck his “best friends” fiancée — not just the girl he likes, not his girlfriend, but his FIANCÉE. Yes, there is a diamond scene for all of the LI’s at the Homecoming Ball no matter who you chose, but if MC is with Liam, it hits completely different because they are actually engaged at that point. There is a ring on MC’s finger. Being engaged and “seeing where things could go” with someone else (like Drake and Max) are on completely different levels. And yes, MC is to blame for that as well (again, it’s the way it was written — and I’m not bashing anyone who’s played it this way because I’ve also played that way too. I’m just making a point). And yes, there is also Vegas, where MC can choose to have a fling. I’ve also done that scene too. However, in the fling scene, MC makes it sound as though she’s talked to her LI about this fling and who it’s going to be with. When Liam says “But Drake…” she tells him that she’s talked to Drake. When Drake says “But Liam…” she tells him “Liam understands” — giving each of them the impression that their friend is well aware of who this fling is going to be with, which is not the case. So I don’t fault either Drake or Liam for the Vegas fling — I fault MC for, once again, not having the ability to just be honest.

In book 3, chapter 12, Drake tells MC that while Liam is his friend, he would be lying if he said that besting him and winning the girl didn’t feel good. And this is mere moments after he tells MC that Liam (if you chose the option to ask if he was ok now that she and Drake were together) is obviously hurt by what happened, but hasn’t talked about it.

In book 3, chapter 16, Drake tells MC that Liam was leading her on:

This is 100% false and a flat out lie on Drake’s part. Liam was never anything but upfront about everything to MC from the very first night they met, even though he wasn’t even supposed to tell her anything because that was the condition under which he was even allowed to go out that night. He told her who he really was, how he has certain expectations held over him, and how he has to do certain things (like having a Social Season) even if he doesn’t want to because it comes with his duty. When she arrived in Cordonia and they saw each other again at the masquerade ball, he told her flat out “this isn’t New York, things are different here.” He says over and over how he has a responsibility to his people and to his country.

(and notice how all of the above things that Drake says are all behind Liam’s back and never to his face. What an amazing friend, yeah? *eye roll*)

The hilarious thing about Drake telling MC that Liam led her on is that it was actually the other way around.

Drake and MC led Liam on.

Drake never said a word to Liam about his feelings for MC. MC can tell Drake that she also has feelings for him in return. They share moments in book 1, more in book 2, and not once did either of them even think to tell Liam (again, it’s the way it was written, but I’m making a point).

Did they have to go to Liam and seek his approval? Absolutely not. Did they owe him the common courtesy of telling him about their feelings for the other? Yes. Because that’s what a decent friend would have done. And I guarantee that proposal that others love to complain about never would have happened had Liam known about them, and didn’t think that MC was still there for him. Canon Drake is not a good friend.

Show me where Liam has uttered something bad about Drake — even after he was stabbed in the back by him. You can’t. Because he hasn’t. Liam has never once said a bad thing about Drake.

And this is where the “hE lEfT cOlLeGe FoR hIm” argument comes in a lot — again: Drake made that choice on his own. You can’t use the one thing he chose to do to justify the rest of his shitty behavior.

Now, I can already hear the “well Liam is flawed too” and you would be 100% correct. But there’s a big difference between acknowledging your chosen LI’s flaws without an issue and defending everything they do with baseless arguments, which seems to be the case here all too often with some (definitely not all) Drake stans, like this anon. They love to point out all of Liam’s flaws while twisting his words and actions to fit this narrative they’ve created (and will try and claim it’s canon), but the minute someone points out anything wrong with Drake — things that he’s actually done and said in canon — they will either mysteriously “forget” it happened or try and defend it all, using anything they can to justify and excuse his shitty behavior, including going as far as to make his flaws and problems somehow Liam’s fault. I can point out why I think Liam acted the way he did at times without actually defending what I believe to be shitty and stupid choices on his part and saying he did absolutely nothing wrong.

Lastly, don’t misconstrue canon with fanon and headcanons. I find it fun how canon and fandom mix when we create our own stories and headcanons, but if you are going to make a general claim that you want to argue is canon, at least be able to back it up with facts and receipts.

126 notes · View notes

helisol · 3 years

Text

dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,,

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi!

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second.

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose.

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right?

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer. and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right?

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo.

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person.

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me” for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo.

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

#the SOUND of my HEAD hitting my DESK with TERMINAL VELOCITY #quodo #star trek

188 notes · View notes

liquidstar · 3 years

Text

something the latest chapter of kaguya-sama made me realize is just how much better all of the characters are doing in their lives now because of their friendships with each other, and i just think thats so sweet.

kaguya herself used to be absolutely miserable and never smile, but then chika made her be her friend and miyuki made her join the student council and over time she became so much more open and happy, you really see just how important all her friends are to her when she’s afraid that she might lose all the pictures of them she’s taken, they absolutely melted this former ice queen’s heart. through the series she gets more and more warm and acts more like a typical happy girl. the ending song for the second season also makes it really obvious that she sees her friends as her happy place, an escape from her terrible home life, she really does love them so much. in the latest chapter she makes it so clear that her friendship with chika is just as important to her as her relationship with miyuki, and that the only reason she didn’t tell her was that she was afraid chika would be mad that she has a new special person in her life, but because chika loves her friend so much she’s nothing but happy to see her finally have more special people in her life too.

and miyuki of course has gotten a lot better when it comes to accepting his flaws and not seeing himself as a failure, he only ever initially drops this facade around chika who becomes sort of like, a mom friend to him, and since a lot of his issues stem from his mom abandoning him its really important for him to see that not everyone will. and later on its much more directly addressed between him and kaguya he becomes much more able to be happy with who he is and not push himself so much or be afraid that people will leave him for not being perfect. not to mention his friendship with ishigami who he actually confides a lot of his issues in, despite the fact that he gets his relationship advice from manga, but the scene of them laying down under the tree and just talking, while very funny, is still a really sweet moment. his relationship with kei is also very big, because thats his sister, but he also sort of fills the role their mother usually would have for her. and though she’s annoyed by it, its really important for her because its implied that when she was with her mom she wasnt exactly treated well, she ran away to be with her father and brother for a reason, and kaguya was the one that actually gave her the strength to do so so it all comes back full circle.

but chika has her own issues too, she seems like a very simple character, a typical genki girl. but she was a musical prodigy as a child, winning award after award. and yet she was so unhappy with that very ridged life, she had no freedom and all she did was practice. you can see it in her eyes in the flashbacks, despite the praise and trophies her eyes were were so dead and she was so different from the happy carefree chika we know. but then kaguya sort of became the straw that broke the camel’s back that forced her to quit, and it wasnt really out of kindness at first, but their friendship ultimately is what made her become the chika we know, the one who loves to laugh and play, its like she’s making up for lost time and finally getting to be a kid with all her friends. she is very much the gifted child who lost her childhood because of it, but she’s so much happier now. not to mention her friendship with the table-top board game club! its not given as much focus but you can really see her thrive in something she’s truly passionate in now, she loves making games and playing them with her friends!

ishigami’s whole thing can be pretty heavy, its played off as a joke at first but he legitimately is explicitly suicidal, but hes able to get better with the power of friendship. miyuki was very literally portrayed as a light coming into his life when he first enters his room to save him from his isolation. even before that though, miko also helped him, even if he didnt realize it, she was the one that advocated for him not to be held back a year which prompted the student council to look into his case and help him too. he has to get over a lot of his anxieties, at first he’s even afraid of kaguya, but he warms up to her over time too and they develop a pretty sweet relationship with her as his sort of tutor. and very critically, he joins the cheer squad. he actually put himself out there and made “normie” friends and it turns out it wasnt so scary after all. and his crush on tsubame is so important, because she rejects him, but they stay friends. he never once feels like she owes him anything or “friendzoned” him, even if it hurt to be rejected he wanted to be friends. she was really afraid of losing her friend that she loves so much, those feelings of platonic love arent in any way seen as lesser. and she helps him in the end by making sure the school knows that hes actually a nice guy and that means the world to him. theyre still friends and that relationship is important to both of them.

similarly though, ishigami also helped miko before they were even friends without her realizing it. he saw how much she was struggling with the constant bullying and decided to leave her a note to tell her that it gets better, and it was an incredibly important thing that stuck with her for a long time. their entire relationship is defined as “two people who secretly help each other” because theyre both hold such high personal morals that they dont expect good deeds to have to be pointed out or repaid. and then when she ran in the election, miyuki helped her get over her stage fright so people wouldn’t make fun of her anymore, and because he’s such a nice guy he even offered her a seat in the student council where she’d make a bunch of new friends, and despite going through sort of a rough patch she’s still ultimately far more confident than she’s ever been and she’s absolutely ready to become the president next year now, finally achieving her goal. and her relationship with miyuki becomes very sweet as they develop their relationship in the “senpai-kun and kohai-chan” chapters where they just bond as friends, often through her weird emo poetry but he supports her despite being terrified of it.

hayasaka is one of the most loaded characters in the series despite not being in the student council. the arc that focuses around her is even titled “ai hayasaka’s friends” because they’re what help her out of her situation. since she was a child she was used as a pawn by the shinomiya family, not unlike kaguya herself, and she considers kaguya to be like her precious little sister. but she’s also been manipulated into betraying kaguya by becoming a spy for her abusive family. and the amount of guilt she feels over it is so painful to watch, but she’s too afraid to do anything about it. when kaguya finally finds out, she’s not instantly forgiven, but for the first time in kaguya’s life she wants to forgive someone who betrayed her, and they talk it out, and they can finally become proper friends just like they always both dreamed of. her friendship with miyuki is interesting too, because they have a clash of ideals about not letting your “true self” be seen by people, because they wont love you anymore, and despite miyuki arguing against it, it very much is an idelogy he shared at the time. but when she finally does show her true self she’s loved, and in the valentines chapter she confesses to him, not out of love, but out of friendship. she asks him to be her friend, and her circle of friends just grows from there with all her facaudes dropped.

all of their arcs just play into the greater overall theme of the series, which just comes down to honesty and vulnerability with the people youre close to, the series may be a romance but it places such important emphasis on all its characters relationships and how they can make each other better, its so nice. theyre just friends and they care each other.

#kaguya-sama #this is half analysis half just me talking abt how lovable the characters are. theyre so nice. theyre friends #i love the trope of friends helping each other i really do. its very much found family in its own right #long post #text heavy

50 notes · View notes

reyeslonestar · 3 years

Note

Lone star better square the hell up if they think we are just gonna accept this lame ass apology from Owen. It’s not nearly enough and the real apology that TK deserves. He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this that he just sat back and continued on with the intervention. I know that comment still hurts TK because of how he even brought it up. They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father. Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent. As in- remember they exist even when TK isn’t hurt or something. As in, don’t twist things around and play victim. All TK does is love his dad and yeah he gets frustrated with Owen because who wouldn’t but he still is always there. Owen straight up acted like TK didn’t exist when he thought Gwyn’s baby was his. He only said he would schedule the surgery because ‘he’s gonna be a dad’. He only jumps into father mode when TK was shot and kidnapped. Every other time??? It’s like oh TK is mad at me that’s why he is being a paramedic now. Like dude have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s not all about you? He just wanted the switch to the paramedic job because he likes it. These little moments add up and make me wanna yell at Owen FOR tk

anon, we are in agreement. god, I want to get tk by the shoulders and tell him that owen’s bullshit is absolutely not his fault and he has done way more than should have been expected of him. then id like to slap Owen upside the head and frogmarch him into therapy. very regular therapy.

you’ve brought up a lot of interesting things here so im going to stick most of my thoughts under a cut.

ultimately I think that the things that underscore the problems of TK and Owen’s relationship are Owen’s inconstancy and unreliability. I think theres a decent splash of narcissism in there too, which leads to him pressuring and gaslighting people, unloading his problems on random people, making himself the victim in any given confrontation, and also his misguided heroism stunts. but the root of him and TK having a fractured relationship comes from TK being unable to rely on Owen. (and hoo boy does that make me emotional about the fact that TK finally has someone he can completely rely on with Carlos)

so your first point:

this lame ass apology from Owen

honestly there were two weak apologies that stuck out to me - the first being the one during the intervention about Owen ‘going to be a father’ - yay, acknowledgment - but TK deserves an proper apology, one that doesn’t feel offhand, and not when Owen feels pressured by the environment. im sure im not the only one that felt that comment was disingenuous - it didnt feel at all like Owen actually felt sorry, or understood the damage he’d done. and then again in the vets - it felt pointed to me that TK had to confirm Owen was still going to go through with the surgery after buttercup turned out to be okay. he understandably doesn’t trust Owen to hold himself to his promises, even one he made in the last five minutes, and I think that reflects on how he views the apologies - if Owen can flip back and forth on promises about his own health, what’s stopping him from giving insincere apologies?

He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this

yeah I think you’re absolutely right - I think everything about their relationship, including TK’s anxieties about Owen’s unreliability, stem from him feeling left behind during his childhood (something I talked about a lot here - I wrote that a few months ago but I stand by a lot of it). and those anxieties really came out this ep because Owen keeps being incredibly inconstant this season. (not inconstant as in inconsistent characterisation, inconstant as in an unreliable character)

something I mentioned in some of my tags yesterday (and that I want to really dive into more specifically at some point) was the emotional labour that I suspect TK has had to shoulder in order to maintain their relationship. Owen has been this consistently absent figure, so TK has worked himself into Owen’s work life to be physically close to him, but Owen’s emotional distance has meant TK has taken up the emotional work too in order to maintain their relationship, and that has kind of allowed them both to pretend to themselves that they have a good relationship, with much more of the strain of maintaining that facade falling on TK.

Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent.

everything you said here. absolutely. loving someone does not equal having a healthy relationship with them, and TK and Owen definitely dont have that. TK is evidently so hyper aware of how much Owen has ignored him when it suits him - it kills me to see the way that comment about being a father has obviously been eating at him for weeks - and I really hate how controlling Owen gets when TK is in danger, but then is so utterly absent when TK’s in a good place, or even bitter and hostile when TK makes positive choices for himself. again, I talked about this in detail in this post - basically, Owen has major control issues and dude needs therapy.

don’t twist things around and play victim.

oh man, this shit pissed me off. like, I get that the subjects of interventions often have hostile reactions, but gaslighting Mateo after pressuring him into drinking and emotionally unloading on him? holy shit Owen, no. and making himself to be the victim of situations that have nothing to do with him, like TK becoming a paramedic or oversharing to the vet and the kid sitting on the roof. like, I understand that mental illness can lead you to taking shitty actions, but it still makes them shitty actions.

They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father.

yeah! I dont know what to think about this in the show, because knowing the way the show heroises Owen, I don’t know whether they’ll feel that they need to address it further than those pathetic apologies. that said, we’ve got Owen and this arson case next week and there does seem to be a tone that shows Owen as an idiot, and frames him as wrong for going against the rules and trying to sneak into a crime scene. if im right, then there would be scope for this to be an overall arc of Owen learning to become self aware and understand that he is not the centre of the universe. I just hope the show bothers to do that.

in the immortal words of Michelle Blake: Owen, get a therapist!

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #episode chat 2x10 #fandom discussion #owen strand #tk strand #the strands #owen strand critical #I dont mind flawed characters #and the fact that they were addressing it (kinda) made me happy #and thats partly why I didnt mind Owen this ep #a has thoughts

38 notes · View notes

fallingfor-fics · 3 years

Text

Teachers Pet-chapter 14: wandering

All chapters

chapter 13

I awoke suddenly feeling a cold breeze of air brush my face, I looked around and realized I had fallen asleep outside against the tree, and it was now nighttime. "Crap" I whispered looking down at my watch. It was already 9 o'clock. How had no one questioned where I was? Better yet how had no one seen me? I frowned a bit at the thought no one came to find me. It was freezing too, considering it was Winter, I'm surprised it wasn't snowing yet.

I stood up and grabbed my bag and began to head back inside the castle to head to my dormitory. I let out a deep breath remembering the realization I had come to before I drifted off. I hated having to deal with this now. Well actually, there really was no way to deal with this. Most people that develop...feelings for someone are actually able to work through and maybe act on them. But not I. I was to be stuck with this for however long it decides to stick around. I don't want to jump to conclusions, it's not like I like the man, I just...fancy him. Yeah, fancy that's the perfect word to describe what I felt for Severus. My potions Professor. Oh merlin y/n what is wrong with you!? He's a teacher for heaven's sake. I need to do everything possible to get rid of this feeling, or redirect it somehow.

I finally made it back into my dormitory and quietly took a shower and got ready for bed. My roommates seemed to be pretty heavy sleepers. I stood in the mirror fresh out of the shower and brushed my hair. Looking at the girl before me, the one who has convinced herself somehow, to fall for this cruel man. But he wasn't cruel was he. Not to me at least. I put my dark green nightgown on and slipped on my panties, exiting the bathroom after washing my face and brushing my teeth. I laid a few pats on Hera and gave her a treat, crawling into bed and looking up at my ceiling. How could this have happened? He was so awful to me when we first met, I mean he's awful to everyone, how did I stem feelings from seeing him a couple extra hours, and pleasing him by passing this test? It all seemed to have happened overnight. I began to realize though it didn't happen overnight, I've felt this way since he saved me from detention with Lockhart. Foolish of me. I closed my eyes waiting to drift asleep, but to no surprise, I couldn't. Typical, the one time I need my thoughts to shut up, they don't, they only hinder me from the peaceful release. I did take a rather long nap earlier, so it makes sense. I got up and slipped on some socks and grabbed my wand. I exited the dormitory and walked out into the dungeons. Holy shit it's cold, I thought to myself. "Lumos" I whispered and began walking down the hall, not in the direction of Snape's class. Last thing I would need right now is to run into a certain brooding man. I crossed my arms over my chest to help with the cold feeling, and continued taking a slow stroll through the castle. I could probably easily get caught and would most definitely get some form of punishment, but I didn't really care. It's not like they'd kick me out or something.

I looked out a window as I passed by it and looked out at the forest. I've heard stories of the Forbidden Forest, but I figured it was forbidden for a reason. I did have some desire to explore it one day though, just not tonight. I continued down the hall and looked at all the portraits as they slept. This school really is wondrous. I do miss Beauxbatons. To think if I hadn't been torn from there I may not be in the predicament I found myself in currently. I decided to head to the kitchens to see if the house elves were still in there, or if they too go and sleep, and maybe i'd be able to get a cup of coffee or something. As I headed that way I heard mumbling voices and turned out my wand and clung to the wall, I looked over the corner to see Professor Flitwick and Professor Lockhart conversing as they walked past and continued monitoring the halls, heading towards the Ravenclaw dormitories. I quietly tiptoed once I saw them out of sight and picked up the pace to the kitchen. As I reached the doors I stood on my toes to look through the windows and saw no one inside. I let myself in and walked over to what I hoped was the coffee machine. Now where's the coffee? I went through each cabinet checking where it could be, it didn't help it was dark, but I didn't wanna risk being seen. I opened and closed each cabinet as quietly as possible still having no luck. I squatted down to the very far end cabinet on the bottom but it was locked, hmm this must be where they keep the coffee so no one drinks it, silly I thought, "Alohomora" I whispered pointing my wand to it and heard it click open. Sure enough to my surprise the coffee was indeed in here, It was a special blend so I was guessing it was one of the teachers in specific, I pulled the jar out and put enough into a filter into the pot to make one cup and then added the water, I pressed the power button and took a few minutes to figure out how to work it. Before I pressed brew I thought for a moment and placed a silencing spell on the room.

After what seemed like forever, but in reality was 5 minutes, the coffee was done and I poured it all into a mug I found on the shelf. I blew on it a bit but it was still very hot. I laid it on the counter and cleaned up the machine. I grabbed the coffee tin and went to place it back in its place, as I squatted down I noticed in the back of this cabinet were a few bottles of firewhiskey and wine. Wow the Professors must have some fun around here. I looked at the brown bottles and thought about it for a moment. No I shouldn't If I get caught with that I would actually be kicked out. I left it alone for now and shut the cabinet, locking it and taking my cup from the counter. I headed out of the kitchen checking to make sure no one was near and took the charm off as I left. I began walking down the quiet and cold halls once more. I then had an idea. I made my way all the way to the stairs that led to the Astronomy tower and headed up in it to sit and enjoy the hot beverage. I stood leaning against the wall looking out over the courtyards and rest of the castle, you could see a lot of the school from here, this was probably my favorite place to come in the whole school. All the stars twinkling above. I took a sip of my cup, the hot liquid running down my throat, a sigh of relief as warmth filled my body. It was very cold up here and I wish I had brought my coat.

I looked up at the sky, and my thoughts began to run, I soon realized the only thing on my mind was My professor. How stupid of me to let this happen. I think the worst part was how I knew I would not be able to confide in anyone about these inappropriate feelings, no one would understand, and who knows they may think I'm dreadful and disgusting. I never confided in my father, and stopped confiding in my mother when I realized anytime I did she would ask me what I did that caused this to happen, it was always my fault no matter how many times I was screwed over. The only one I would ever be able to confide in was my sister. We were very close and she always listened and gave me good advice, she was so understanding, kind, and non judgmental. She was a much better person than I. She would have loved this view too, she would have loved Hogwarts, I just know she would have been in Hufflepuff, she'd fit right in with them. Or maybe Griffyndor, she was so brave when it came down to tough situations. My mother would be a Raven claw no doubt, she's very smart and technical. I don't know what my father would be. "Probably a Slytherin that bastard" I said out loud taking another sip. He attended Durmstrang. I cringed at the thought of him being in my house as well. I was nothing like him. He was horrible and vain, not to mention incredibly sexist and probably everything else you could think of. That asshole was such a phony too. He'd act so chill and nice to people, but it was all a facade to hide his cunty side. I grew frustrated just thinking about him.

I began to feel a hot tear slide down my face, my sister would have tried defending him, she was so sweet, she hated when he and I would fight. Always breaking it up and telling me how he wasnt worth it, and even though he's a jerk he was still our father. I was glad to have left him, hopefully I'd never have to see him again, I'd miss having a dad, but not him. I sniffled and a few more tears came down my face. I sat down on one of the ledges and looked out at the moon, it was so beautiful. I wish I could just live on the moon, carefree, peaceful, and quiet. Numb to everything. I wouldt have to live with these new feelings for this man I would never have. I began to cry more thinking about how dreadful my remaining years here at Hogwarts would be if these feelings did not resolve themselves. I want to blame my after for this, if he didnt leave me so damaged maybe I wouldn't be craving the affection and appreciation from this older man. I wiped my tears as they fell remembering the way he smelt, his smile, his hair, his eyes. They were so dark and held great sadness. I could tell he's been through a lot, but he was good at hiding it. I wiped the tears that still flooded down and looked up to the sky. "What do I do? How do I deal with this?" I asked no one, not expecting a direct response, but some sign at least. "Please. I'm not cut out for this type of thing. Why him? Of all the people here why him? What do I do!" I said as I let my frustration take over and began to cry harder, thinking of this beautiful man that I'd never get to touch and have, that I was growing such strong feelings for.

#snape x reader #snape imagine #severusnape #professor snape #snape #severus snape #severusimagine #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #Snape slowburn #slytherin #hogwarts

37 notes · View notes

bro-strider-hate-blog · 3 years

Note

YOUR TAGS ON MY SIS POST??? IMMACULATE

I will include my tags again but only because i cant get enough of myself and not to sound like im tooting my own kazoo but this is the one time in my entire life that ive been objectively correct in every way

Lengthy and unrelated thing under the cut:

Let me talk about canon bro for a second 😌 even though its barely and tangentially related to this and you dont have to read it <3, in fact i would encourage you not to read it i just wanna run my mouth. People love to use him as a cheap villain in their dave angst fics which is like... hilarious to me. Like i get it, since hes abusive he must also be misogynistic and homophobic and transphobic and also genuinely hates dave and revels in his suffering right? Lmeow no, hes just some guy and despite everything he is in fact trying his best. Hes naturally intense and aggressive and this doesnt translate well to child rearing, especially since his one goal is to make dave strong enough (physically and mentally) to Survive whats coming. The random sneak attacks ? The traps littered around the house ? To keep dave on his toes and buff his spatial awareness. The cameras ? To monitor his progress (if hes not up to standard then we’ll just up the “training”) and / or film some puppet snuff (puff ? Snupp?) so he can keep running his dumb website and like provide for them or some shit , or ig to buy random crap and throw it around the house. Who cares if the kid sees the porn anyway its just puppets, plus hes seen way worse at that age and turned out fine (no he didnt). Dave has to be resourceful , he has to be creative and think on his feet , lets have impromptu rap battles and scrabble games. He has to know numbers like the back of his hand (idk why this is even a phrase do any of you memorise what the back of your hands looks like) to effectively utilise his sylladex.... actually nobody even uses that shit idk why bro was so insistent on it. Dave is his protege, his charge, dave is NOT his friend and hes not gonna let him forget that. He teaches him all he knows, in the way he knows. Making comics, mixing music, ironic jokes, being cool and getting shit done. Actually its GOOD that the kid is terrified of him, if hes the scariest thing in the room then dave wont fear anything else. Lets spar then, if dave wins then hes trained him well. If dave loses then hell become resilient. Either way he has to be strong or else hell die, training is necessary. Its either this or failure and failure equals death. Do your own laundry, ration your own food, become independent as fast as possible because i wont be around to take care of you forever

Nothing bro does is without reason, neither is it “sadism”, its all very logical to him despite being horrific to any sane person because his only friend is the mansplain-manipulate-manspread puppet that raised him and he has awful coping mechanisms that barely stretch past beating himself 1. up 2. off. Like he kept his baby alive to the point where it could keep itself alive (kind of alive) and thats a win to him.

That was my thesis on why bro is not a bigot like ,, he makes porn of fucking smuppets, that gives him zero chance to fetishize The Ladies. I doubt he has porno mags littered around the house its just endless plushie dicks and asses (and the two puppets handcuffed together were legit kinda funny like Why). So why would dave have internalised homophobia if it did not stem from his brother ??? Acting as if his only friends werent exuding anti gay vibes, like christ, john “im not a homosexual” egbert, him and rose’s competitive flirting gag (before they found out they were related >.>), just generally the three of them accusing each other of being gay, yknow, as kids do (jade is exempt from the argument we love jade here). Things were just more homophobic back then and its not like bro and dave had a sincere talk about gender and sexuality in the 13 or so years they lived in the same house like why would you even come out to your younger sibling if you could just not !!! Lol !!! I could be getting all this info wrong lol so correct me if im wrong but bro has this cute comic artstyle and it was about someones charge (? Sibling?) straight up dying and the saw guy makes an appearance the end , like there was no sex or gore or whatever but if you look at sbahj the second page literally has an incest sex joke like where does dave even get his material from , which online sites has he been trawling , well haha its not bros job to monitor his kids search history lets ignore it and move on if the kid wants to be gross and make dumb jokes who is he to judge , spread your problematic wings and soar into the cancel clouds little guy

Anyway heres a disclaimer: if youre gonna clown on this post and tell me im an abuse apologist or some shit just understand that i have a lot of free time and love being a huge asshole when provoked but like youre so welcome to add to the discussion i love bullying my favourite character bro strider by steamrolling him we’ve talked about trans rights for too long now is the time for trans wrongs

#//1 #sorry for airing my grieviances on your ask addie Q_Q i hope you do not mind </3 #Bro strider #sometimes i do want bastard trans rep like we cant all be purrfect #Heres more bastard trans guys in homestuck: eridan cronus sollux karkat equius gamzee caliborn hal

35 notes · View notes

hinasho · 4 years

Text

isle of the lost vs descendants 1 characterizations

the book ends literally when the movie starts so their personalities cant be that different right? lets see

(similarities posted at the bottom!)

DIFFERENCES:

book: when evil queen goes on about beauty related things, especially in regards to her daughter, usually evie would begrudgingly recite whatever “tip” eq taught her and just go along with what she says. not to say she hated those kinds of things, but whenever her mother brought it up, she never expressed similar excitement or engagement. more often than not she was indifferent to her mother’s beauty antics, and we only see her talk about them in regards to herself in the last few chapters (im not talking abt the mirror incident, but the one liners she’d drop about her appearance here and there) movie: when the parents first tell their kids about going to auradon, eq talks about sprucing her daughter up before she leaves and evie is visibly excited about the makeover. she also goes onto encourage it on others as seen when they’re all in the limo and she tries to put makeup on mal.

book: the villain parents are not friends and we almost never see them together. the one time we saw the parents/adults all together was in the prologue scene for evie’s 6th birthday party. after that they never interact and dont pay each other any mind. this is especially true regarding evil queen and maleficent, as they state in the book that they’ve been at odds ever since they fought over who’d rule the isle. eq has also just been welcomed back into society after being banned by the other, so time-wise, at worst, they are still enemies and, at best, barely tolerable acquaintances. movie: evil queen & maleficent have a significantly close relationship, so much so that eq knows her house like the back of her hand and where maleficent keeps things, specifically that her spellbook is in the fridge. they even have a laugh about how they use to run things before being forced to live on the isle. they seem to be genuinely close.

put the rest under the cut bc this post is too long lol

book: jafar and jay’s mantra is “whoever has the gold makes the rules” which was significant because it helped them while in the forbidden fortress movie: jafar and jay’s mantra is “there’s no team in I” (while this change was surprising, i also wasn’t that upset abt it bc both book and movie!jay struggle with teamwork)

book: carlos is not athletic at all and goes on about how he hates gym class. he is very focused on stem and doesn’t really care about any other kind’ve hobby. meanwhile jay is athletic and does casual parkour when going anywhere. movie: both of them do extreme parkour in the opening song. im not referring to the dancing ofc, but the extra flips and tricks they do. this is not unusual for jay, but is in regards to carlos.

book: jay isn’t the only one that goes around stealing things, mal very much does it to. at the end of the day they’d even compare how many things they’ve stolen to see who’s the best thief. jay usually wins, but still, both are thieves. movie: when they get to auradon, mal is very confused as to why jay would take the time to steal things and even needs for him to explain why he does it.

book: ben describes audrey as a classic fairy tale princess. she finds all things in auradon lovely and beautiful, and even has a bird land on her finger during their date. while she does think negatively of everyone on the isle, she acts mostly “lovely and sweet” before anything else, and it is not faked. think: giselle from enchanted. movie: idk how else to explain this difference besides “audrey just has a different vibe”. she is more regina george-esque than genuinely cheery, and puts on an obviously fake smile and attitude so often that queen belle expresses distaste for her

SIMILARITIES:

mal likes art and goes around the isle putting up tags --- (the romance storyline wasn’t bad, but it would’ve been nice to see mal maybe join an art club? or get into painting or smthg else related to her hobby)

carlos is afraid of dogs --- in the book he can’t even say or hear the word bc it’s a trigger for him. he can say “puppies”, but he cannot say the word dog. whereas in the movie, he says the word several times. this is an extremely minor difference to be fair

when they’re afraid/think they’re in danger, they all cling to jay

they’re not used to sunlight

the ben & mal tension on first meet (and continued infatuation before the cookie scene) --- in the book both characters have had a dream about the other. they didn’t know who the other was, but they remembered the dreams vividly enough that they were able to describe their faces in detail. in the movie when they first meet, both pause on each other several times. it’s likely because of the o’l Disney Romance™️, but it could also be because of curious recognition.

jay is a flirt/smoother charmer and girls fawn over him

carlos is good with and likes science & technology

mal wanting to prove herself to her mother & the others not being as set on it --- in the book, mal is constantly reminded of the times her mother has called her “not worthy of bearing her own name or of being her daughter” and it causes mal to lose her cool several times. the other VKs also have parental issues ofc, but ones that are not as focused on proving themselves like mal’s are. theirs lean more towards other problems. in the movie she is extremely insistent on reminding them what they’re at auradon for and that this is their “one chance to prove themselves”

the core four freeze in fear when confronted with the reality of their parents’ pasts

mal can touch maleficent’s scepter --- to be fair that dance number in the museum was most likely just mal daydreaming, but still

jay going off on his own/following his own plan --- in the book jay and jafar plan for him to go with mal to the forbidden fortress and then double cross her and steal the scepter for himself, taking it as their “big score”. in the movie when they first see the wand with their own eyes, he runs off in front of everyone and only opens the gate enough for himself to squeeze through. carlos has to open it wider so they can all get through it after him. and once theyre in the same room as the wand, he reaches for it first against mal’s wishes.

carlos is bad at sports --- this is in both the differences & similarities section because, while in the book & movie he’s bad at sports, in the book he also doesnt like them and has no desire to do them as he is completely focused on science & tech. while after some practice in the movie, carlos joins the tourney team alongside jay. (i personally would’ve preferred for him to join a computer or engineering club)

mal can manipulate people with ease (book: evie / movie: jane & ben)

fairy godmother is mainly the one that enforces the “no magic” rule --- beast may have created it, but both in the book & the movie, people/creatures talk about fairy godmother being the one that restricts them

carlos climbs trees/searches for higher ground when afraid

evie knows how to use her looks, specifically her smile, to get the things she wants (book: persuading dr. facilier / movie: getting info out of chad)

audrey likes to dance

carlos is sarcastic & competitive

mal cheers up evie when she’s upset

evie is good with academics

ben wanting to be his own person rather than act like his father --- this was a good continuation from book to movie as ben only realizes he needs to be himself in the final chapters, which he just continues to encourage in the movie.

mal’s spur of the moment saving tactics

the villains aren’t good with computers/the internet --- the isle canonly doesn’t have wifi and in the movie the villains struggle with the laptop that was most likely given to them from an auradon representative

audrey’s family still being deeply traumatized by what maleficent did

belle not letting beast talk shit

mal pitying her mother for what she went through --- in the book: when she sees the past of what happened at aurora’s christening and sympathizes that her mother was nothing but a sad lonely girl. in the movie: the “and i really wish you hadn’t gotten there yourself” line during ben’s coronation

annddd yeah!

honestly there were a lot more similarities than i was expecting, and i am pleasantly surprised! book to movie things dont usually crossover well, but honestly, the first movie didnt do too bad of a job of it.

tbh i think the one that probably suffered the most was audrey’s character. she really seemed very different from her book counterpart. this isnt to say that book!audrey was a saint and would’ve treated the VKs kindly, but she also wasn’t a fake person and was genuinely that cheery and upbeat all the time. whereas in the movie, it seems like almost nobody likes her (except chad) bc of her “fakeness”.

i personally think if they were gonna go with the “bad girl and her minion” role, then audrey should’ve been the minion. in the book she was kind’ve an airhead (?? idk she just tended to have her head in the clouds a lot) and if one of the auradon girls told her to act a certain way towards the VKs for the “good of auradon”, i could see her listening to them. i dont know if she’d be the one to come up with the evil deed herself though.

overall, the continuity flowed pretty well. i wish they didn’t change audrey’s character like they did (they probably could’ve had jane play the role of ‘stuckup girl’ tbh since she was a new character and her mother had a higher position in the kingdom compared to audrey’s parents anyway, so smthg to boast abt), but other than that, the movie’s characterizations were kinda close to the books!

#descendants #babbles #long text post //#now i gotta read Return #isle of the lost spoilers obviously

36 notes · View notes

alphaketoglutaricacid · 4 years

Text

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did. I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl.

I think kabu and minatos relationship is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over. you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

13 notes · View notes

redwritinghood · 4 years

Note

Omg first of all you wrote enemy of my enemy??? I loved it so much omggg!!! Second of all, if you're still taking prompts i would love an au where marlas didnt happen and damen is officially courting laurent so they always need chaperons but they always escape them to be alone and aleron and theomedes are NOT happy about this

Technically still writing The Enemy of My Enemy but thank you, always enjoy being appreciated :)

Writing this with that “shy bookish boy” in mind where Laurent has wonderfully not had to face the book tragedies.

Damen saw the large willow tree that matched the description he’d been given and swung off the horse to land in knee high grass next to the river bank. He dropped the reins, allowing the horse to freely graze. Inside the natural tent of the willow branches was a private space. The shade was a relief, but the summer day was still too hot to be fully clothed. Fumbling with the excessive lacing, Damen loosened the sweat dampened shirt. The servant assigned to help him dress had been scandalized when Damen rejected the undershirt. One was already excessive.

Somewhat freed of the oppressive garment he proceeded to remove his boots and collapsed into the grass. It was a relief to be outside of the palace, away from the over-attentive servants and curious nobility. Arles felt stuffy and confining, unlike Ios that was open to the outside with balconies and outdoor walkways. This excursion to the outdoors was needed almost more than Damen had realized.

A patch of wildflowers mingled in the grass next to him and he collected a handful to begin weaving the stems together. This part of the river was more sedated than the frothing white rapids where Damen had accidentally rescued the crown prince of Vere.

It had been several years but was still something Damen frequently thought on, back when the war between Vere and Akielos had seemed inevitable. While on a scouting trip, a fierce storm had arisen, separating Damen and Nikandros from the rest of their party and driven them into the forest for shelter. Somewhere during the midst of the violent tempest they unknowingly crossed the border into Vere. In the aftermath, they emerged on the Northern side, stumbling upon a raider camp next to the river. Realizing they had followed the river in the wrong direction the intent was to turn around without altercation but Damen had seen the raider’s blond prisoner.

Nikandros had protested vehemently but ultimately followed Damen on his rescue mission. They had the advantage of surprise but were greatly outnumbered. The fight could have gone badly, but once the blond prisoner was released and obtained a weapon the fight quickly shifted in their favor.

Once the battle was won, the prisoner revealed himself as Prince Auguste. Similarly, Damen candidly introduced himself despite Nikandros’ elbow in his ribs.

There was a moment of uncertainty as they faced each other with swords still drawn. Then, surprisingly, Auguste laughed and sheathed the weapon. The two sanguine princes recognized each other as kindred spirits and agreed that this was an opportunity. Auguste wanted to introduce Damen to King Aleron, perhaps forging the beginnings of an alliance or to at least assuage the impending war. The royal family was in Marlas and only half a day's ride away. Nikandros continued to speak his objections but followed Damen, preferring to die with him than because of him.

Once hearing of the rescue and how close he had been to losing Auguste, King Aleron accepted Damen almost too graciously. Eager to offer him a reward for saving his eldest son.

“I would offer you Auguste’s hand if he weren’t already betrothed and needed to continue the line,” Aleron said.

“I don’t need a reward,” Damen said uncomfortably. It wasn’t his reason for meeting the king and Auguste was perhaps equally surprised how well the enemy Akielon prince had been received.

“I have a younger son,” Aleron said.

“Father.” Auguste objected, obviously disagreeing with this idea.

Damen’s side was going to be bruised from Nikandros’ elbow. This time he agreed with him and was looking for a polite way to escape.

“That’s really alright—” Damen began.

“Someone fetch Laurent,” Aleron ordered, and servants hurried to do his bidding.

“You’re bruising me,” Damen whispered. That insistent elbow still poking his side.

“We need to leave before you’re engaged,” Nikandros hissed.

“I’m trying,” Damen said under his breath. It would be impossible to explain the arrangement to his father.

“Ah, here he is,” Aleron gestured when the doors to the court were opened.

Damen turned as he heard Nikandros say, “Oh no.”

Hoofbeats pulled Damen from the recollection. He sat up only to be knocked back down by a body colliding with his.

“You know,” Damen said when he caught his breath, “your brother thinks I’m the one corrupting his shy little brother.”

“Auguste still sees me as a child.” Laurent unwrapped his arms from Damen’s neck and pulled back to see his face. “Hi,” he blushed.

“Hi,” Damen smiled.

“May I?” he asked. Damen looked into the blue eyes, so unbearably close, and nodded.

This was his third visit to Arles to see his fiance. Laurent had been barely thirteen when he was suddenly and unwillfully promised to the former enemy. Understandably, he had been unhappy. When Damen returned to Ios, he wrote several letters hoping to learn more about him. It was several months before he received a short response answering questions in a brusque dismissive fashion that impressively relayed little information. Damen suspected Auguste or someone else had forced Laurent to respond. Despite the discouraging reply Damen persisted.

During the first visit, Laurent had been predictably detached, and Damen spent most of his time with Auguste. But because Laurent was Auguste’s second shadow, they consequently spent time together. He typically opted out of any sport or game that Damen and Auguste would partake in but always stood as witness. Damen hadn’t expected much interaction from Laurent, he was still young, and unfairly betrothed. However, by the end of that stay Laurent was noticeably less callous.

The next visit Laurent had altered from the suspicious aloofness to a timid interest now trailing Damen, even without Auguste’s presence. With a hesitant eagerness Laurent shared his favorite scrolls, his thoughts on the recent philosophy debates, and introduced Damen to his horse. The shy sincerity was incredibly endearing and Damen suspected there weren’t many people Laurent was comfortable sharing his thoughts with. He loved that Laurent was slowly opening up to him and Damen hoped he did nothing to dissuade him.

Written communication increased significantly. The letters used to be a burden, something Damen forced himself to do. When Laurent began to open up, the conversation surpassed interesting to exciting. Damen was almost intimidated by the intelligent penpal and his fascinating perspective.

This was the first visit since Laurent had turned eighteen. As if to demonstrate this Laurent had physically matured and it was impossible not to notice. The guard detail had been instructed to be in constant attendance. The two princes were not allowed to be alone together. Because of this, they had not even kissed. The building anticipation had become nearly suffocating. To Damen, even holding hands had become an illicit act. Laurent sliding closer on benches or couches until their knees touched had nearly driven Damen mad. And it was Laurent initiating most contact, exasperating his guards when they had to find a way to respectfully peel the prince off the Akielon visitor.

This was the moment, and Damen felt it with an ache through his entire body. He slipped a hand into the blond hair, holding the beautiful face. Shyly, Laurent leaned in, eyelashes dipping. Damen pressed forward, carefully, restraining himself against rushing Laurent. Lips met tentatively, just a ticklish brush. It wasn’t enough, but Laurent had drifted back, eyes still closed.

“Laurent,” Damen whispered, and felt Laurent’s breath against his cheek. He resisted the desire to pull him in and take his mouth. The quiet hesitation evoked one of Damen’s fears that after all of this Laurent wouldn’t find him appealing. Being forced to sit still and endure the silence was torture.

Having Vere’s beloved younger prince in a compromising position above him made Damen equally excited and nervous. The peace between their countries was tentative and they were constantly observed so there was no slight or breach in protocol. What had been an expression of gratitude had turned political and restrictive. Theomedes saw the engagement as another war to be won and constantly warned Damen against any affection. This attitude had bled over into Vere and Aleron had become of a similar mindset. It may have even been his initial mindset when proposing the engagement. Having his offspring rulers of two seperate countries was a good tactical maneuver. Meanwhile, Theomedes searched for candidates that would produce an heir. This hung over Damen’s head, he wanted to tell Laurent, but it was a private matter, not something he wanted to share with the Veretian and Akielon guards. They could be bigger gossips than kitchen maids.

That thought was silenced when Laurent’s eyes opened, the blue so bright it was almost startling, then miraculously, he smiled and Damen stopped breathing.

“Again?” Laurent asked. It took Damen a moment to realize he was asking for another kiss.

“You want to?”

“Yes,” he breathed.

Damen’s heart sang as he grinned, “You don’t have to ask with me.”

In response, Laurent’s arms slid around his neck and this kiss was the one Damen had needed. Deeper and longer. Laurent opened his mouth, hands sliding into Damen’s hair. He moved closer bodies now pressed together. Damen held him, arms around his waist.

“Was that— alright?” Laurent asked once they had separated and he had caught his breath.

Damen held Laurent’s face between his hands, “Yes, it was more than alright.” He kissed Laurent’s forehead, the timid innocence was so endearing he thought his heart would burst.

“You were also— adequate,” Laurent said with a blush.

Damen laughed, “Thanks.”

“I brought my favorite poetry scroll,” Laurent said scrambling up to retrieve the scroll from his horse’s saddlebag.

While Laurent read lounging in the grass, Damen continued the flower crown and when finished placed it on top of the golden head. The blue and white flowers remained in his hair through another interlude of kissing.

After some persuasion Damen recited Akielon poems and epics in his native tongue. Laurent settled in next to him, head on his shoulder to look up at the sun filtering through the twisted branching. The flowers still in his hair.

“Are they all about war and conquering?” he asked.

“The most popular ones are. Warriors are highly regarded.”

“Were you ever disappointed that our engagement averted a war?”

“No,” Damen said. “I would be nervous to fight Auguste in serious combat, he’s very skilled.”

“I initially comforted myself by realizing that the engagement would essentially end all wars between our countries. And with Auguste as king of Vere I was certain I could manipulate you and mediate some hundred year treaty.”

The confession made Damen laugh, “You wouldn’t have to manipulate me. Whatever archaic dispute that led our elders to war no longer applies to us.”

“Is that a promise?” Laurent asked sitting up to look down at Damen.

“A promise that while we’re alive there will be no war between our countries?” Damen asked.

“Yes.”

“I promise,” he said and was surprised when Laurent dropped down to cup his face and fervently kiss him.

In the thick heat of the summer afternoon, Laurent was persuaded to remove his boots and step into the river. Damen knew removing his clothes to bathe in the river would be an affliction on the tender Veretian sensibilities. As if to prove this Laurent had turned red when Damen removed his outer garment wearing only pants. Damen frequently caught him staring and would watch him blush and turn away. Not much coaxing was needed to bring Laurent into an embrace and kiss him while they stood waist-deep in the river. The cool pale hands traveled up his biceps to his shoulders almost reverently.

“Laurent.” Auguste’s voice was a baritone traveling forcefully over the water. They had been discovered.

Damen pulled on his boots as the brother’s argued. So far Damen had witnessed Laurent win every argument against anyone who dared oppose him, with the exception of Auguste who seemed to be more of a blind spot than a master debater. The two sets of guards were not far behind and with the older brother’s instruction the younger was whisked away.

Damen took his time as he dreaded redressing in the complicated jacket and lacing it by himself.

“I trust our agreement still stands.” Auguste sat next to Damen in the grass while he tried to reassemble his shirt.

“I haven’t fucked your brother.” The agreement to not sleep with Laurent until their wedding night had been easy to make when Laurent was thirteen.

“I don’t blame you for your efforts, I bedded my wife before our consummation. But he’s my little brother, I still feel— protective.”

This confession only further irritated Damen and he briefly imagined shattering the innocent image Auguste held of Laurent. It wasn’t Damen initiating physical contact and arranging secret dates.

“I won’t start anything,” Damen said. It was a little dishonest considering Auguste was blind to his younger brother’s burgeoning sexuality.

“I appreciate it,” Auguste said, then reached over to help Damen with his laces.

Dinner that evening was uncomfortable. Laurent, with the flower crown still in his hair, was unremorseful and the two brothers had not reconciled. It was clear they had never been at odds before and the court was unsure how to react to the feuding siblings.

After retiring to his chambers, Damen was settling in for the night when a noise outside his balcony disturbed him. Laurent dropped down out of the night but the more surprising part was how he was dressed.

“Where did— where did you get that?”

“I had it made. Is it accurate?” Laurent did a little twirl to show off the chiton and the fabric lifted revealing even more thigh.

Damen had to sit down, he had never seen more than hands and feet. “Not bad. Did you have the sandals made also?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” Damen asked, he was having trouble breathing. Not only was the flower crown still present on the blond head but the chiton was especially short and the knee-high sandals drew special attention to the bare thighs.

“Isn’t this the fashion in Ios?” Laurent asked. “Am I expected to dress strictly as a Veretian once we’re married?”

“You’re getting a little ahead of yourself,” Damen said, “We still have over a year.”

“I like to be prepared,” Laurent said and adjusted the white cloth. Damen looked away, there had been the slight glimpse of pink nipple. If he was going to uphold his promise to Auguste he would have to make Laurent leave. But he really didn’t want that, any of their time together was precious.

“What’s wrong?” Laurent asked.

“You can’t be here.” Damen had averted his eyes. “We aren’t supposed to be alone together.”

“That didn’t bother you this afternoon,” Laurent said and stood still observing Damen. “Did I do something?”

“No,” Damen said and reached out. Laurent accepted the offered hand and allowed Damen to pull him down into the seat next to him. The damn chiton was even shorter sitting down. “If we weren’t already engaged I would be on my knee in front of your father asking for your hand.”

Laurent’s blue eyes hadn’t softened, “Then what is it?”

Damen knew there shouldn’t be any secrets between them, “I made a promise to your brother that I would wait until our wedding night for— you know.”

With an exhale Laurent slid onto Damen’s lap. “My brother has no say or control over my body. If I decide I’m ready now isn’t that my decision?”

“Of course,” Damen nearly choked. His hands came up automatically to hold Laurent’s waist. “Unless you find me unappealing,” Laurent said.

“No one finds you unappealing,” Damen said and helplessly tugged Laurent closer.

“I realize now that your hesitation was trying to respect your promise. It’s an honorable trait.” Laurent smoothed a hand into Damen’s hair, the cool palm cupping his face. “However, any further decisions regarding my body are to be made by me.”

“Understood,” Damen grinned.

“My current decision is to allow you to take me to bed.” The coy smile almost physically hurt.

“Laurent,” Damen groaned. His head dropped onto the bare shoulder. “I want you so badly.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t want to risk offense. We’re not even supposed to be alone together. I can’t lose you.” Damen spoke against Laurent’s shoulder noticing how goosebumps blossomed across the pale skin.

Laurent was quiet briefly, stroking Damen’s hair, “The engagement was not my decision, but as the younger prince I expected it was my fate to be traded for some political or financial gain. The bids even began before I turned twelve.” Laurent watched Damen’s hair slip between his fingers. “I thought I was prepared, but I didn’t expect to be— happy. I don’t intend to lose you either.”

Damen’s heart swelled as he lifted his head to look into the beautiful face. “May I?” he asked, smiling.

“You don’t need to ask.” Laurent also smiled as he leaned in. It was still new, each kiss better than the last. This time Laurent took more control, his head above Damen’s and with both hands smoothing through his hair. Boldly Damen traced a hand up the bare thigh feeling Laurent’s reaction with his body so close.

“What is this?” Damen asked when his fingers ran into a slice of unknown fabric.

“I didn’t know what was typically worn beneath these so I fashioned something myself.” Laurent lifted the skirt revealing cloth crudely made to fit between his legs and around his hips. “Why are you laughing?”

Any other time Laurent’s unconscious reveal of so much flesh would have almost stopped Damen’s heart but the strange little modest piece of clothing was so ridiculous and unexpected

“There’s nothing worn beneath them?” Laurent asked, more fascinated than scandalized.

“No,” Damen said, he had barely managed to explain through the laughter.

“It must be very warm there.”

“Compared to here, yes. I can’t wait to show you,” Damen said using his mouth to find the pulse point in Laurent’s neck. The soft sigh reminded him where they had been going before Laurent’s reveal. The kissing continued softly, Laurent tenderly exploring the act with lips and tongue. He pressed closer, their bodies together. Damen detoured to the slender neck, recalling that initial reaction with that soft sound. He wasn’t disappointed, the reaction was innocent and genuine. The quiet moan of pleasure would have brought Damen to his knees. Unconsciously, Laurent’s head tipped back allowing Damen more access. His hands traveled beneath the chiton he held Laurent at the natural dip in his waist, the skin warm. This startled him and he flinched before exhaling with a nervous laugh.

“I suppose that is one advantage to wearing so little clothing.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Damen asked.

“Yes, I’ve just never— it’s my first time.”

“I’m a little more experienced than that,” Damen said, his thumbs stroking the smooth skin of his stomach.

“Yes, that is apparent,” Laurent said, his face had warmed slightly, responding to Damen’s touch.

“Really?” Damen asked, pleased. Laurent made a sound of affirmation before resuming the kiss. He unthinkingly reacted to the caress against his abdomen with a movement of his hips that ground against Damen. He was going to flip Laurent onto his back and escalate the encounter when the door to his chambers opened.

Damen was frustrated and horrified to find not only the prince’s guards invading his quarters but also Auguste and King Aleron. Laurent stood up with a sigh straightening the chiton with no self-consciousness or embarrassment. The blue eyes lifted towards the invaders, prepared for battle. He couldn’t have been more intimidating with a sword in hand.

“What are you wearing?” Aleron asked, looking over the exposed limbs of his son with disgust.

“Do you like it?” Laurent repeated his little twirl to show off the garment.

“This is not a game, Laurent,” Aleron said. “You have deliberately disobeyed me.”

“You have implemented nonsensical rules for only me,” Laurent stated.

“They’re to protect you,” Auguste stated.

“Protect me from what?” Laurent asked, turning his icy gaze towards his older brother.

Auguste glanced uncertainly at Damen where he stood off to the side. “Protect your innocence,” he said.

“No,” Laurent said, “The only thing you’ve been protecting is your idea of me. For years I’ve endured visiting dignitaries whisper in my ear of what they would like to do to me. The insipid and specific gossip of pets is impossible to ignore. Especially those that have involved my own brother who has taken numerous candidates to bed or an empty hallway, whichever is closer.”

“Laurent, stop talking.” Aleron’s face was red.

“There are also scrolls and illustrated manuscripts of any erotic position you might wish to master available in certain temples.”

“Laurent.” A vein bulged on Aleron’s forehead. “Escort the prince back to his chambers.” The red faced guards stepped forward to take Laurent by the arm.

“Auguste was hardly chaste even before being engaged and yet you impose these rules on me for what reason?” Laurent asked, still talking as he was led from the room.

“Damianos, I must request that you pack your belongings and be prepared to leave by morning,” Aleron said. “I will have a ship ready to depart for Ios at dawn.”

“Father, we should talk about this before acting, we don’t want to risk offending Theomedes.”

“You are not the king yet, Auguste. My orders are still to be obeyed. Perhaps you should go talk some sense into your brother.”

Auguste’s face had hardened and the resemblance between brothers was clear. “Yes, my king.” He said turning on his heel.

Aleron and Damen were alone. The king cleared his throat before speaking, “I recognize how Laurent can be a— temptation. So I’m not going to place the blame entirely on either of you. But I don’t like the brazen and reckless way my son behaves when you’re around.”

“If that’s the case, I’m proud my presence gives him the courage to speak his mind. I’ve enjoyed watching him grow into a confident young man,” Damen stated.

“I see,” Aleron said, his eyes traveled over Damen in consideration. “There will be a guard escort waiting to take you to your ship in the morning. The details of the engagement will be discussed when everything has settled down.” This final blow statement Damen and he failed to notice when Aleron left. The oblique political speak could be interpreted in a myriad of ways, but it made Damen worry. The night went by without sleep and the restless anxiety that his fear would come to fruition. A blue flower that had come free of the crown now rested on the couch where they had been. Damen tucked it into a fold of his robes.

The knock came before the sun was up. Damen did a head count of his guard escort and knew there weren’t enough, and that if he really wanted to, he could fight them off.

“I want to say goodbye to Laurent,” Damen said.

“Our orders are to take you directly to the docks.”

Damen could have taken them, fought his way to a goodbye but couldn’t further jeopardize the engagement and went peacefully. In the stables he searched for a blond head and any chance that Laurent would make it in time. On horseback with the little entourage surrounding him, Damen continued to look over his shoulder. Even on the ship while sailors continued last minute preparations Damen clung to the railing, staring over the sandy hill hoping for even just a messenger with a letter. Ropes were cast off and Damen’s heart sank as the anchor was raised.

He half turned to retire to his cabin when a horse crested the rise. Laurent rode onto the docks without slowing, the horse pushed into a merciless sprint. The coarse wood rattled beneath the hooves. Sailors shouted at him and the guards from Damen’s escort chased him down or attempted to startle the horse into stopping. The ship had pulled away from the dock. Damen didn’t know what Laurent intended to do as he charged towards the end.

His heart was in his throat when Laurent leapt from the back of the horse into empty air. Damen reached for him, catching him with an arm around his waist, and pulled him over the rail into the solid safety of the deck.

Laurent was laughing while Damen worried his heart had stopped.

“You’re insane,” Damen said breathing a relieved laugh. His brain becoming preoccupied with the realization Laurent was beneath him.

“You tried to leave without saying goodbye,” Laurent breathed.

“Sorry,” Damen said and unable to resist, kissed him, deep and heartfelt. Around them the ship had broken into chaos. The anchor dropped and the sailors tried to go backwards to the dock despite the tide ready to take them out to sea. Damen sat up pulling Laurent along with him. He knelt on the rough hardwood deck, still wearing the ridiculous chiton that caught in the salt breeze taking it, and his golden hair, in every direction. Damen pulled Laurent up off the rough deck, and arms circled his waist.

Laurent pressed a cold hand against Damen’s face. “This isn’t really goodbye. We’ll fix this.” He leaned in folding his arms around Damen’s neck in a loose embrace. With hands holding the slender waist, Damen pulled him back into a kiss, desperate to keep him close for a little longer. The blond hair blew into his face.

Laurent pulled back, “Quit distracting me, I can’t think and we have to plan.”

Damen had to tell him now. It wouldn’t feel right to do it in a letter. “I wanted to tell you in a better way, but now with everything happening I need you to know that my father has been looking for other candidates. Specifically, ones capable of producing an heir.”

“Is that what you want?” Laurent asked calmly.

“No,” Damen said, and took the cold hand from his face to hold between both of his, “It will only ever be you.”

Laurent’s expression was still carefully neutral, looking down at their clasped hands.

Damen took the flower from his pocket, “Since neither of us was given a choice. I’ll ask now.” Damen went to a knee and tied the flower around Laurent’s slim finger. “Will you marry me?”

Laurent nodded, expression solemn. “Yes,” he said, then made a small sound of surprise when Damen pulled him down for a desperate kiss holding the slender body as close as he could.

Laurent pulled away to breathe, petting Damen’s hair. “You’re behaving like we’ll never see each other again,” he said.

“I’m not sure we will.”

“We will,” Laurent said. “I spoke with Auguste through the night. We were able to reconcile. The current rulers can choose to keep us apart but their time is almost over and you will be better.”

Damen captured the wayward blond strands of hair and smoothed them out of Laurent’s face to see the bright eyes. “We will be better,” Damen told him. “But no matter what happens I will keep my promise.”

“Good.” Laurent smiled before Damen pulled him in for a final kiss.

#captive prince #captive prince fic #laurent #damen of akielos #am i capable of writing a simple prompt without some bitter sweet ending and hints to a larger undeveloped plot?#it doesnt seem like it #always make things more complicated than they need to be #anyway i dont think ive ever written anything with so much kissing #i hope its satisfactory and im sorry it took so long work has been a nightmare this month #writing prompt #captive prince writing prompt #thank you for the prompt tho i was excited to write it and hope its worth the wait #mywritingprompts

16 notes · View notes

leahclearwaterdefensesquad · 4 years

Note

Ooh can u do Jake for the ask thing! (This is @witchyangela btw!!)

omg thank you, elle!! i can’t wait for your answer for this!

How I feel about this character

I love Jacob. Out of all the main characters of Twilight, he’s certainly one of my favorites. Twilight/New Moon Jacob was an absolute sweetheart and such a great guy and then of course eclipse happened.. which i will never forgive stephenie for, that racist ass trashy mormon bitch

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Benjamin and Bella are mine and the fandom’s two biggest picks for Jacob. If Jacob was an adult/Leah wasn’t an adult, maybe i could see these two together, but Leah gives off far too much lesbian energy, and in canon, they’re there’s too big an age/maturity gap anyway. i tend not to go crazy with shipping when it comes to twilight characters bc i care more about them individually tbh, tho i do think him falling for a cute guy from the rez would be wonderful for Jake.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Jake, Embry, and Quil!! God, I would have loved to see more interactions between these boys but it wasn’t relevant to bella’s story of course i mean wouldn’t you have loved to see them bantering more and doing dumb shit together?? i need that fanfic. Them hanging out in jake’s garage, embry and jake actually working on shit and quil just sits around like some pretty boy, or going to the beach or playing video games together. Honestly, when teenage boys aren’t acting like total asses, they can be entertaining and funny as hell.

My unpopular opinion about this character

This isn’t an unpopular opinion within certain niches of the renaissance, but Jacob isn’t some trash character. This sentiment of him being garbage and the worst mostly stems from ppl (who also LOVE edward and forgive him for stalking bella and other shit he pulls) who like to overlook the minor detail (it’s not minor, i’m being sarcastic) that st*phenie purposely wrote him to take an emotionally manipulative and abusive turn in eclipse in order to make Edward be the #1 choice for Bella, thus indulging in the racist stereotype of the violent Native man. This stereotype was historically weaponized as propaganda among colonizers/white people to further subjugate the Natives in a ‘if we don’t kill these guys off, they’re gonna rape our (white) women’ way, and i’m sure you can draw the parallels between st*ph’s racist portrayal of jacob and this shit. I cannot understate what a piece of shit St*phenie is.

Anyways to reiterate my opinion that is more so fandom-targeted than character-targeted - if this fandom is gonna forgive jasper and edward’s bullshit, they sure as hell can do so for Jacob.

EDIT: the fact that I didnt think of this the first time!! Jake was better for Bella than Edward. There, I said it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More like what i wish didn’t happen to him. I wish St*ph didn’t write him to be so lovesick over Bella in Eclipse and that he never impr*nted in bd. he didn’t fucking deserve that shit.

#ask games #witchyangela #personal asks #jacob black

7 notes · View notes

singingcookie · 4 years

Note

HELLO YES CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT ADORABLE CARRY AND HOW THEY DIDNT REALIZE HE WAS STILL HOLDING HER AT FIRST PLS AND THANMK

Ah yes. So like, fun fact: this chapter also turned out really different from its outline. Well. Everything but the last scene turned out really different. But I have fun stuff about that and pretty much everything else so...another outline comparison?

Obviously spoilers for chapter 21 of DoJ under the cut

Back to Ochako’s pov

This should start up incredibly chaotic. The sound of screams, being bumped into from people scurrying either to or from the where the flames are congregated. Ochako’s nose is burning from the smoke, and she has to cough to even take a deeper breath in.

Details are hard lol! I tried writing down notable sensory details to get me going but it still took ages to write the first page or so. Finding ways to word the images in my head and have them come across so hectic was really hard for me 😩

There’s a question of what they should do when Deku’s phone rings. It’s Todoroki. Ochako stands close to Deku’s side to try and listen but she can barely make anything out with all the commotion going on. She almost contemplates asking for speaker but, all things considered, that obviously wouldn’t fare any better. Deku mostly just seems to be agreeing and listening until he finally says that they’ll do their best and hangs up. Todoroki said that Iida had called Aizawa immediately. They were closer to the havoc and they’re helping lead the effort to get civilians to safety and any possible need for triage. Luckily a decent number of the class was already nearby so some are fending them off and other are helping with the effort to grab civilians.

So as you can see here things............deviated. A lot. I had a really hard time actually planning out how this chapter was gonna go and I pretty much wrote up this part of the outline going “okay this is probably gonna change but these are the basics. The basics I have to get across.

So as you can see, originally I thought of having izuocha like....idk too far away? Too in shock? To jump to action. Which was, honestly, very dumb on past me’s part but they were quick to say “fuck you we’re helping” like of course.

They wanted to rush over to deal with the trees and help but I was standing there like these guys are so far away how tf is this gonna work. And that’s when it was like “omg, bridal carry.”

I think I had to break from writing after deciding that though. And I was telling my little sister about it while we were in the car. And we kind of mutually came up with the scene. We played around with the scenario a little bit, and it was originally a jokey thing. But after we talked about it, and she agreed (as a Tododeku shipper) that she thought it flowed well and made sense, I decided to include it. It was so vivid though we could both imagine as a scene in the manga so a day or two later I decided I had to commission it.

I’ll be forever grateful that @jellojolteon was up for the task and did it so so wonderfully. 💖💖💖

We also were joking around about the Momo thing and after telling @savetheirhearts-midoriya about it but saying I thought it was too goofy to include, she told me I had to include it. And who was I to refuse? Lmao

Looking back on this though idk how I thought that that it was gonna be chaos but still chill enough to be able to have a phone call smh. Luckily I’m not super strict on my outline being the end all be all lmao

I definitely like the way it turned out a lot better though. Did a good job with showing the class’s self reliance. Especially considering they’re in third year now. It shows off that they have this kind of thing down pat now. Kinda like how the Big Three came off in canon.

They decide they should try to tell other civilians where to go (maybe check how long the street usually is in Kanagawa for the festival) in the midst of that, they see Toogata and Amajiki with Eri. They explain they were with Aizawa but he felt it might be best if they go to safety with the others. They didn’t want to leave Toogata and Eri alone but Amajiki will go back into the fray once he’s guaranteed they’ve made it safely. They explain where to find Aizawa and they take off.

Maybe include a conversation with Ochako saying that, all things considered, at least this attack is happening where a handful of pros and a majority of the 3rd year hero course were out tonight. Deku wonders if that’s really much of a relief. “Was it just a coincidence or…?”

Ochako blinks in surprise, about to stew on that thought a little more when there’s a scream just up ahead. A little further ahead, there’s two girls, twins from the look of it. One is on the ground, unconscious and disheveled as well as a bloodied arm.

ooooooh right, again, more differences here. I never altered the fact that I changed the setting in my outline LOL. Mostly because I knew and it seemed pointless to change something so small when I already know lol. I wanted to include Eri a little here but when I thought about it it just felt like it would slow down the pace of the scene. And it just felt too....pushy? Idk something about it just felt off. So I decided to cut it. I also changed where Aizawa came into play but I’ll get to that in a few lol.

Second and third paragraphs though are the same. I knew I wanted to highlight the fact that is was very likely targeted.

Aizawa arrives right as they do and they ask what happened. The sister explains that they were wandering around the festival looking for her boyfriend who was further down. She started to go off ahead, but some crazy girl popped out of the alley and attacked her sister. She ran off before the twin could come back over. She tried to stem the bleeding but--

Ochako says they’ll take it from here as she goes to join the girl on the side with the bleeding arm. She says that she feels bad doing this since Inko worked so hard but she tears off some of the bottom of her yukata, to wrap the wound.

Alright so, I changed where Aizawa came in mostly because I felt like, upon, writing it, he would be coming from further into the festival than they were. And they’re up toward to front, so it only made sense to have him show up late....not to mention that he might notice that the girl (Toga) was acting a little off. So I had to limit his exposure LOL

The story was pretty much the same and, real talk, I wanted an excuse to free up Ochako’s movement since a yukata is a little limiting. But I definitely wanted to feel the ache that came with messing up something that we spent so much time waiting for. I went ahead and added some details about Toga looking a little too long before this next part just to drive home that something really doesn’t feel right about this girl...

The twin watches her, seemingly entranced, an unblinking expression on her face. “You really know what you’re doing, don’t you?”

“Oh well, I’m a hero in training!” Ochako’s a little embarrassed. “It’s all in the job.”

“We should get both of you over to triage,” Deku notes, looking toward Aizawa. This seems to snatch the other girl’s attention from Ochako’s deftly moving hands. “They can help check on her properly there.” The sister suddenly jumps to her feet, suddenly remembering her boyfriend’s further ahead and alone. She has to go find him and takes off

“Ah wait!! Eraserhead, Uraraka-san, I’ll go make sure she’ll make it okay, be right back!” He takes off too.

Pretty much the same, as far as what’s conveyed, I think. Especially highlighting that something’s wrong with this twin and that Ochako’s uncomfortable. Though, here I didn’t spell out the latter as clearly as I felt it during outlining.

Main difference is who’s saying what and--again, tbh I like how the final result came out better. Toga pretty much dips as soon as Aizawa shows up. Because 1) Aizawa’s caught her in the act before (during Overhaul arc with Rock Lock) and 2) his quirk immediately takes off hers. So she knew she had to get out ASAP once she saw who it was. I also changed Deku’s “be right back” because what the point of coming back if they’re taking the passed out one to where triage is? Dumb lol

Ochako wonders if she should maybe use her Quirk on the woman to help make it quicker for them to transport her. Aizawa says he’s not sure that’s necessary. He doesn’t want to send her or Midoriya off alone because it sounds like a lot more of the League than what they’ve actually seen. And...yeah, it’s awfully weird that they haven’t really seen a lot of them. Did they really concentrate their attack closer to the entrance? But then there’s the person who attacked this woman--

Her thought is cut off when Aizawa continues, “And if I go to take her, you won’t know when to release your Quirk. It’s probably better not to”

The first part of this is confusing--likely because originally I planned on Deku coming back but once I realized that was a little futile I had to rephrase how this was worded lol. But no matter what I didn’t want anyone to think too hard about who was doing the attacking yet (I figured people would get it by then but I still wanted to keep it low profile).

The girl between them suddenly wakes up, startled, and they assure her that they’re heroes on the scene. “It seems you were attacked and passed out from the fall or possibly received a blow to the head.”

“And you guys got rid of her?”

“No, the villain seemed to take off when your sister came over to help.”

“What? But--”

“Oh, don’t worry, she’s okay! She went to go find her boyfriend but she and our friend’ll be--”

“No, that’s.” She looks between them seemingly more dazed and confused. “I don’t have a sister.”

Aizawa says that she received a blow to the head. It’s possible that she has a concussion and she’s a little confused. “No, I’m telling you I don’t have a sister!”

“I’m an only child, and I came here alone!”

This whole exchange was more or less the same. To be honest, most of this last scene is lmao. This scene (unlike the rest of the chapter outline) was super vivid when I planned it out and whenever scenes are vivid, they almost always play out exactly the same as my outline lol

That said, chapter 22 is incredibly vivid so. Prepare yourself 👀👀👀👀👀

“But she looked just like you…” Twins. A crazy girl. She happened to be unconscious and...had a blood wound. Just like her.

She pales. No way. She doesn’t want to believe it. Not even a little. But her body moves before she can think, taking off with no heed to Aizawa calling after her.

Deku-kun!!

This was, again, near exactly the same because it was such a vivid image in the planning stage that it carried over well into actual writing. For a little bit I debated whether I should actually name drop Toga but ultimately I was like “the readers are smart, I don’t have to hold their hand about it!” So I trusted yall to put two and two together lol

But yeah, that about sums it up!! The notorious scene actually only happened because of Izuocha wanting to help and me and my Tododeku shipper sister sitting in the car in the BK drive thru if I’m not mistaken lmfao

#ask #Kat #adventures in writing #Drops of Jupiter #Kelly replies #thank you for sending something and sorry for going overboard again #ily Kat!!!#vixensheart

4 notes · View notes

kiruuuuu · 5 years

Text

Doc/Lion oneshot in which Lion absolutely can’t get enough of Doc. (Rating E, pure filth + fluff, ~4k words) - written for the ever so wonderful 1ce_09 on twitter ♥♥ Everyone who hasn’t already, check them out for beautiful Siege art! Thank you so much for commissioning me, I enjoyed myself :)

If anyone had asked Lion a year – hell, months – ago which part of the day was his least favourite, he would’ve said waking up. Throughout his life, the only consistently good thing staying with him has been how easily he falls asleep and his ability to only wake up once fully rested; he sometimes thinks it’s a genuine blessing he received, a rare show of mercy of which he’s ultimately undeserving. Even when his mind worked overtime, even when there was an oppressive weight on his soul, even when there was no reason to get up in the morning, he drifted off like a lazy, oversized house cat napping in the sun. In rare moments, he idly wonders whether this ability hasn’t saved his life at some point, granted him this little bit of energy he needed to get through the day, gave him enough hope to trudge on and eventually sparked his endeavour to make it up to those he wronged.

And then there are his dreams. They’ve always been vivid, abstract, hard to grasp, but as a child he could always pinpoint at least a location or a person, something concrete which gave him an indication of what was on his mind at the time. After – after Claire, after colourful pills and pieces of paper with cartoon characters on them and a few other things, his nightly visions became even more obscure, swirls of colour, evoking emotions whose vibrancy stays with him in this twilight between waking and sleeping, a half-doze in which he’s disembodied yet conscious. He enjoys their embrace and despised nothing more than the afterimages being violently ripped away from him by a shrill alarm.

These days, he doesn’t mind it so much. The reason for his change of mind is as fortunate as it is unbelievable because of all its facets no one could’ve predicted, especially not him: It’s someone he loves (and he’d given up on this particular idea a while ago). It’s a man (and while he’s fooled around with some of his friends before, it was largely born from spite and the thrill of the forbidden). And of all people, it’s Doc.

It took him months to come to terms with the realisation that his infuriating colleague never really left his thoughts because of a fierce desire to impress him, not because of personal dislike. Doc is revered wherever he treads and when Lion earned his ire, it was much easier to pretend the negativity dictating Lion’s remorseless remarks and actions towards the other man stemmed from disdain and not disappointment in himself, not from a knee-jerk reaction to the realisation that Doc would never see him as an equal now.

It took him even longer to finally act on it too, reach out and attempt to rebuild the bridge Doc had destabilised and which Lion had spitefully burned in response; it required endless conversations with Bertrand as well as the rest of the GIGN, a worrisome amount of self-reflection, and uncomfortable, tough admissions.

But he managed. Looking back, it’s amazing how much he turned his life around, how much he achieved with the help of those around him and indubitably help from above, and he’s humble enough to try and let his gratitude shine through in everything he does these days.

He even learnt to enjoy waking up. Though admittedly it wasn’t difficult, no, not at all, not when he knows he’ll have company, be greeted with a smile and a kiss, a brief update on global events, a cup of coffee just how he likes it. And so instead of hitting the snooze button on his phone several times, tossing and turning, dreading the beginning of yet another day, he wakes with a serenity he never thought he could achieve.

This morning, his heart feels even lighter than normal and it doesn’t take long to figure out why: there’s a warm body next to his. Doc prefers getting up early, always prefers being prepared no matter what and possesses the inhuman ability to sleep without an alarm and be on time anyway – but rarely, on one of their days off, he allows himself to sleep in, much to Lion’s delight.

Smiling to himself, he rolls on his side to dazedly blink at the spectacular view in front of him and really, Doc has no business being this gorgeous this early in the day. He’s stretched out on his stomach – and he’s the only person Lion has met who sleeps this way –, head turned away from Lion, explaining his constant neck pains, and smooth skin illuminated by the rays falling in through the blinds, painting long stripes on his naked back.

Lion doesn’t want to disturb the image yet reaches out regardless, runs his fingertips over shoulder blades jutting out, the dip of his lower back, relaxed muscles, and reaches the blanket covering Doc from the hips downwards. He should let him sleep. Really, he should, but with every centimetre more that’s revealed, Lion’s interest rises. He takes his time, pauses when he hears his lover take a deep breath and proceeds when it evens out again. Slowly, surely, he reveals plump curves and more soft skin, and then his gaze falls on the discoloured spots on the back of Doc’s thighs and the almost languorous desire playfully swaying in the back of his mind suddenly gets shoved to the very forefront, makes his heart skip a beat and his crotch throb.

Memories from the previous evening come flooding back, the end of a tedious work day necessitating some kind of release – they’d started as soon as they set foot into their apartment, Lion crowding his lover against the door and licking every bit of composure off his tongue, then wandering deeper with his hungry mouth and swallowing him whole, something he’s come to love, provided he can watch Doc’s features dissolve into helpless want while sucking on him, hard. He took his time, did so for the rest too, left Doc aching and fingered him open over the couch until he was flushed and flustered and even more beautiful, took him standing up until his legs gave in, relocated to the kitchen table, eventually landed in bed where he finished them both off with merciless snaps of his hips, listening to Doc’s desperate whines and floating on pure ecstasy.

The bruises are remnants, and now he also feels the scratches on his back again which he didn’t let the other man see, angled his body so he wouldn’t notice the damage he’s done – he usually feels bad about leaving marks though Lion can never get enough. It’s one of the many small disagreements about which they half-heartedly argue and neither of them is ready to budge, but more often than not they end with a hand in someone’s hair or quick kisses. There’s more, now that he knows where to look, Doc’s ass cheeks themselves are still tinted red and the lovebites Lion sucked onto his ribs remain perfectly visible as well.

Maybe he should add a few.

Moving carefully, he removes the blanket entirely, admires Doc’s shapely legs for a moment and then kneels between them, intending no more than to touch the sleeping beauty a little, but as soon as his palms come to rest on firm flesh, a different thought makes his cock twitch in anticipation. Doc is perfectly on display like this, the hills and valleys of his body enticing in a way that Lion wants nothing more than mould himself around them, and he decides to appreciate it all by waking Doc with something more… personal than simply covering him in hickeys.

Thumbs pull the cheeks apart a little, exposing a pink hole which looks overwhelmingly inviting to Lion, a hole he abused to his heart’s content the previous evening and so it’s only appropriate for him to make up for the rough treatment, isn’t it? He leans forward and gingerly circles the rim with the tip of his tongue, starting feather-light and increasing the intensity slowly, intersperses it with broad laps and has to suppress a moan when he feels the ring of muscle pulsing in response. He’s felt similar contractions around his shaft so many times before and the association is all he needed for a full, heavy erection – especially when he remembers Doc’s usual, elated expression whenever he climaxes.

The hips beneath his hands shift a little, and a foot lifts, powerless, and when he pushes the tip of his tongue inside, Doc lets out a sleepy groan. “Really?”, he mumbles into the sheets but makes no move to stop Lion. “Didn’t we do enough yesterday?”

He grins and forces himself a little deeper, eliciting a weak moan, before withdrawing for a reply: “Gustave, I can never have enough of you.” And to cut off any smart remark, he wiggles his tongue back inside and turns all of Doc’s protests into small, appreciative noises. Though his lover appears to be the voice of reason more often than not, he allows himself to get swept up by Lion’s passion all the time, mentioning work but riding him with abandon ten minutes later, scolding him for only thinking about one thing but asking him to come on his face the same day. Lion never minds initiating, not when this is the result: an increasingly aroused Doc meeting his mouth with subtle grinding, fisting the sheets and not even fully awake yet.

A curious finger proves Doc to be more than loose enough a few minutes later, and by this point they’re both panting and dizzy – and besides, Lion has always been more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ type, so he wastes no time in grabbing the lube strategically placed on the bedside table to pour a generous amount on his stiff cock, wincing a little at the cool, viscous liquid. A few strokes for good measure coat it sufficiently and the next moment he’s rubbing his tip over the very hole he licked open just now, felt it quiver around his tongue. The touch is electrifying and the fierce need pulsing through him urges him to give in, take what’s his, ensure his own pleasure.

But he waits. Bites his lip in impatience, pushes slightly against the entrance and shivers when he feels it give way a little, squeezes one of the buttcheeks he maltreated in the sweetest way possible last night – but he waits.

And then Doc meets him, lifts his hips to allow the head to slip inside and both of them gasp at the sudden surge of pleasure. Lion accepts this signal for what it is and begins the slow slide, pushes deeper and deeper into deliciously tight heat, feels Doc’s walls contract around his dick and only stops once he’s bottoms out. Since his lover usually requires a moment to adjust, Lion uses this time to not only focus on how fucking good he feels, but also to straddle the other man properly and lean down, cover him with his own body and place a few loving kisses on the top of his head.

“Other people wake their boyfriends with breakfast in bed”, Doc grumbles under him, now less bleary than before, but the hand he places next to Lion’s contradicts his words. He spreads his fingers and Lion interlaces them with his own, holds on tight and makes no move to suppress the smile stretching his lips at the gesture.

“Their boyfriends are definitely not as erotic as mine then”, he purrs into Doc’s hair. His limbs are possessively caging the other man in and even then, it hardly suffices to sate his need to be as close to Doc as possible, feel all of him.

“What you mean to say is they have more than just a shred of self-control.” And oh, he’s going to make Doc eat those words.

Slowly, he begins grinding down, impatient erection twitching eagerly inside and rubbing against all the right places if Doc’s startled gasp is anything to go by. He loves it deep and Lion knows it, rolls his hips against his lover’s perfect ass and makes him feel every centimetre keenly. For good measure, he bows his head to latch onto that spot right below Doc’s ear which he knows drives him wild, tongues at it wetly before sucking and relishes the unrestrained moan he earns for his trouble. Over time, he’s memorised all of Doc’s weakspots and exploits this knowledge now shamelessly, bites at his earlobe and trails his lips over soft skin to the back of Doc’s neck where he nibbles, his lazy motions emphasising his ministrations.

By now, Doc is trembling against him, the deep grind stealing his breath and causing him to jerk his hips up in search of more thorough stimulation than this merciless teasing, trying to fuck himself on Lion’s cock but failing. Frustrated huffs join the quiet panting, his grip involuntarily tightening parallel to him clenching desperately around Lion’s hard shaft and it’s mesmerising to behold how his mock crossness melts away into pure lust.

Doc’s other hand reaches back and digs into Lion’s ass, tries to get him to move more, faster, anything, but when that fails as well, he pleads: “Come on, just fuck me, Olivier.”

He knows how this goes. Grinning to himself, Lion tenses his muscles to make his dick throb inside additionally to the tantalising motions and decides to have even more fun. “You look so pretty, impaled on my cock”, he whispers and throws Doc a bone, withdraws all the way and slowly slides back in, keeps this torturous pace and sighs contentedly every time Doc’s hole allows him back in, stretches around him. He meant his words – he really can never get enough of this.

Uneven breaths have turned into whines now. “Olivier, please -”

“I could fuck you, pump you full of come and then leave you, dripping and begging for it”, he continues and concentrates on the steady build of pleasure – a slow climb but oh so satisfying. Doc feels wonderful around him. “Could do that the entire day. Every time you suck me until I’m hard again, I shoot inside but you’re not allowed to come. You can ride my cock all day, Gustave.” The thought is dazzling and he probably never fantasised about someone while being balls deep inside that very person, yet he can’t help but picture Doc all powerless, frenzied, obeying him fully. He knows Doc is too proud to actually agree to anything like it, though the throaty moan Doc lets out in response tells Lion unambiguously that he’s imagining it – and actually enjoys the thought. Still, Lion’s thumb strokes reassuringly over the hand he’s still holding.

“Please, I want you, go faster -” Doc’s impatience has reached its peak now, he shoves himself onto Lion’s member in one go and pushes against him, whimpers when Lion gnaws at his neck in retaliation and rises nonetheless, lifting his lover’s body with him. The teasing has left him frantic and exactly how Lion likes it, cheeks red and gaze almost defiant when he glares at the larger man over his shoulder. Lion could spend all day marvelling at the state of him.

Instead, he relents, guides Doc onto his hands and knees and grabs his hips to steady him, fingers brushing over the bruises on Doc’s thigh, the faint purplish tinge an expression of his devotion. “You want it hard?”, he asks and is almost surprised at how breathy his own voice is. Unbridled want is pulsing through him, vicious and blinding, making his digits itch and cock ache.

Doc nods wordlessly and it’s probably good he can’t see the pure joy on Lion’s face over the admission. Even now, even with how familiar they are with each other, every confirmation of the passion, respect and love they share sparks delight.

A sharp snap of Lion’s hips later and his focus is elsewhere again. Now he’s getting serious, drives into Doc at a fast tempo, watches as his entire erection disappears inside him and tries his best not to come on the spot. The abrupt stimulation is almost too much but he keeps going through the discomfort paired with blunt need until he hears himself moan loudly in pleasure, dig his fingertips into Doc’s flesh. He’s not going to last long, that much is clear, but he’s going to make it good regardless.

A few pointed thrusts elicit more dazed whimpering from his lover, a picturesque arch of his back to allow Lion to penetrate him all the way and even another, decidedly more heated glance back at him. They’re both equally into it, tensing and moving against each other amid the sound of skin slapping against skin, the rustling of sheets as Doc desperately seeks support, leverage, anything to hold on to – and Lion shares the sentiment of feeling wholly lost yet not wanting to be found. Ruthlessly, he slams into his lover, chasing his pleasure, helping Doc pursue his own, and makes no effort to hide his enjoyment.

A sudden spike almost pushes him over the edge when Doc’s arms give in, accompanied by something that sounds suspiciously like a keen, and now he’s really pounding him into the mattress, showing him just how deep his desire runs, how comprehensive his attraction is. He can’t even pinpoint which part it is exactly about Doc that drives him this wild, fills him with the urge to claim, mark, embrace and never let go; and he revels in the knowledge of being able to make this otherwise so poised, dignified and professional man fall apart, provoke emotions from him he displays for no one else.

“Come for me”, Lion gasps in between the creaking of the bed, “do it. Come on, amour, Gustave, I want to feel it.” And the sounds he wrenches from Doc’s throat with every thrust get impossibly louder when his lover reaches for his dick, probably not able to keep up with the merciless rhythm with which Lion is driving into him but still good enough. He gets tighter, even more so when Lion’s breath hitches, followed by a growl. He’s getting closer by the second, Doc’s noises and velvety heat making up the perfect catalyst -

And then Doc orgasms, surprisingly quickly for how little he stroked himself, he must’ve been primed, possibly dreamt of Lion and this thought is a whole other turn-on he shelves away for later. Right now, he watches, utterly transfixed, as Doc spasms under him, hips rolling futilely to either increase the intensity or shy away from it as he shoots his sperm in short bursts in between the hard thrusts. Lion fucks him through it, runs one of his palms over the dancing muscles of Doc’s back and shudders at the violent contractions around his throbbing cock; fucks him through the aftershocks, too, tiny jolts which speak of a very satisfying climax. Lion isn’t there yet, however, not fully, teetering on the edge, carefully controlling himself so he can take all of Doc in and -

“Finish inside, Olivier”, Doc demands, voice shaky, and he’s gone.

His abs tense with a delicious kind of pain at the first wave of blissful release washing through him. He buries himself deep inside his lover and moans in disbelief over how abruptly pleasure explodes behind his eyelids and nearly folds in half at the intensity, gasping for air as his cock twitches and probably adding a few bruises to the existing ones. Momentary blindness allows him to be wholly aware of Doc moving against him to milk him for every drop, of overwhelming relief encompassing his entire being as he orgasms, surrounded by scorching heat and momentarily losing all sense of reality.

Coming down is a slow, gradual affair, both of them slumping a little and Lion bending so he can rest his forehead on Doc’s shoulder blade as they both catch their breath, bask in the afterglow and enjoy the feel of shared body heat, companionship and sweet exhaustion. Lion peppers his boyfriend’s shoulder with kisses once he can see straight again, withdraws tentatively and sits up to examine the masterpiece he just fucked into existence in all its glory: shiny skin, reddened cheeks, a gaping hole, dark marks and lovebites, and, after a few seconds, a thin stream of white leaking out.

Lion is definitely unable to get hard immediately after a climax this exquisite but his dick gives a feeble jump at the sight nonetheless. He reaches out and catches the droplets with a fingertip, pushes them back to where they came from, pushes them back inside and earns a quiet moan. Adding another digit, he tries to finger the semen as deep as he can and only pauses when Doc kicks him lightly.

“I’m sore enough as it is”, he complains and rolls to the side when Lion withdraws mournfully, yet there’s a bright smile adorning his face when their eyes meet.

With weak knees, Lion stalks back and forth to get them cleaned up (and is actually amazed Doc doesn’t mention the scratches he himself inflicted) but insists on doing one thing by himself: once he’s taken his rightful place by Doc’s side, entangled their legs and exchanged a few loving kisses, he catches Doc’s wrist to lift it to his face and starts to lick his palm clean.

“You’re like a dog”, his lover murmurs fondly and readily spreads his fingers to allow for better access. “They should’ve called you Husky, not Lion – they’re just as noisy and stubborn.”

Lion shoots him a good-natured grin. “Then you should be called Bunny. What was that about self-control?”

“Oh please, you’re the eternally horny one, mon amour.”

“And yet you never say no.” Their lips meet once more in a long, thorough kiss, with Doc climbing on top of Lion halfway through, ending up straddling him and stroking his face affectionately until Lion mouths at his palm while keeping eye contact.

“You really love my hands”, Doc points out quietly.

It’s true, he does – he loves how steady they are on the job, never making a mistake, never causing harm; loves how they’re calloused and scarred, lots of specks and lines lighter in colour telling tales of hard work; loves how they worship him, how gently they treat him, how warm they are when they touch him.

“I also really love you”, Lion says instead of the million other things he could say instead which would amount to the same thing. He’s learnt his lesson about being honest with himself and others and can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed when his admissions make Doc’s face light up like a Christmas tree. “And your hands do good. They’re your most important tools and I’m thankful every time I feel them.” There’s so much more for which he’s grateful that making a list would take him several days, so he tries to convey all which he’s not divulging explicitly with a heartfelt: “Thank you, Gustave.”

Doc’s features soften and he accepts the notion with one last kiss before getting up. “I’m going to brew us some coffee”, he announces, yet pauses by the bedroom door to catch Lion’s gaze and add, softly: “I love you too, Olivier.”

And while Lion remains in bed for a minute longer, stretched out and encased in soothing warmth coming from within, a distracted smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and most of his body tingling pleasantly, he thinks back to his life no more than a year ago. How unthinkable it was that waking up would become his favourite part of the day. But sometimes, the unthinkable happens all the same.

#rainbow six siege #doc #lion #doc/lion #fanfic #commissions #thank you!!#I couldn't even fit everything in #well at least doc could #HA

154 notes · View notes