#and i'm getting So Freaking Tired of it
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once again i am met with the frustration of wanting to draw but it's too late at night and i have to go to sleep instead
#bambi's rambling#this has happened. every night. for the last like five nights.#and i'm getting So Freaking Tired of it#i just wanna make art and have fun but nooooo i have to study for and take a stats exam tomorrow#was gonna play dnd with my brother tonight too but i had to leave before we got anywhere plotwise because i have to be *responsible*#vent#tw vent
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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I'm now having a Time
#cw cause i'm gonna talk about gross sick stuff#but#i got sick again#which is bizarre because just two weeks ago i was sick#and then i caught something else at the start of this week#and it comes with this insane cough#i'm coughing so bad that i regularly gag and throw up#i'm throwing up because of how hard the coughing fits are and it makes my eyes water and I'm leaning over my trashcan trembling#but it comes and goes in waves and i get feverish sometimes then it's gone then it comes back#and i'm really freaking tired because i'm missing way too many classes#i'm about to lose it#vent
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funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...
#it's honestly very surprising. i see hate towards him almost every day since Remake came out and i wish i was kidding#and yeah yeah i know other characters get lots of hate too but the hate towards him has been so sudden and random???#idk maybe he *was* hated before but i just didn't notice#but at the same time no. i'm 100% sure the hate increased considerably after he was shown to be alive in the Remake#i feel like some people are just weirdly concerned he is gonna overshadow the main characters which is stupid#this story is still about Cloud and the others#we're just gonna explore another reality (allegedly) with Zack it's not that deep bro#(rebirth spoilers) -> even in Zack's timeline Cloud AND Aerith are there#and who knows how many more#like i get shippers being petty because when are they not petty#but i've seen non-shippers/casual players saying they do not want to see more of him and being all bitter bc he's important#he's always been important you all just refuse to acknowledge it!!!#no matter how many times hamaguchi nomura nojima etc say he's super important ppl just keep denying it 💀#as if y'all know more than the freaking devs i'm getting tired of this bs#my post#i'm glad the devs love him as much as we do. cry about it
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There are SO many cool interactions and lore things we can look forward to now that Rubius says he'll come back to QSMP (not only as an angel / demon, but potentially as a human too!), but that little detail reminded me of something:
Even though q!Vegetta and q!Rubius were mutually interested in each other wayyyy back in the beginning of the series, as an Angel / Demon, Rubius said he can't have relationships with humans because it's against the rules.
But a bit ago on stream, Rubius said that he's thinking about having a "human" side so he can build and do more things on the server as a regular player. I'm excited because this means he can have more casual interactions with people and we can see him interacting with his friends more (and he can experience The Horrors), but also...
I think we're in for some very interesting drama in the next few weeks.*
* ( Assuming Rubius doesn't get harassed off the server by toxic shippers and weird fans of the Eggs again. Please be nice to Rubius and welcome him back kindly, he's a very cool guy and his character is SO interesting )
#Full disclosure: shipping stuff always comes second (or dead last) to fun random interactions and dumb bits between friends#I'm more excited about Rubius coming back PERIOD#but u know. the potential for some Rubegetta crumbs or full-course meals is a fun little bonus for yours truly#i talk#qsmp talk#Anyways like I said#god forbid I see anyone being freaks about Rubius again because it'll be ON SIGHT#''But FooIi//getta is-'' I Simply Do Not Care#I don't care about fictional ships I want Rubius to interact with his friends on the server without fans being freaks about it#(I'd like to reiterate I have nothing against that ship I'm just very tired of seeing people being weird to Rubius because of it)#(because they think he ''gets in the way'' or whatever)#I will say that's one massive advantage Karmaland had over QSMP#characters could flirt or make out or bang or whatever and fans would just laugh it off because It Wasn't That Deep (usually)#I think a lot of the younger fans (...and many English fans...) need to adopt this mindset#I'm looking forward to seeing how Vegetta handles it though because knowing him... it'll be very interesting...#<-- I say this knowing full well they're just going to be their normal idiot selves and I'm so glad about it#I miss seeing Vegetta and Rubius interacting they're so funny together and they have a beautiful friendship#I do have my head in my hands listening to them talk sometimes though LMAO
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Lmao I've seen so many tags of ppl in DiSMaY over Scrooge being daddyfied in the new animated Christmas Carol movie and are like "why???" Like there aren't a gazillion other accurate adaptations that you can go back to AND also... why the fuck not? Let the man be a DILF for once
#Scrooge#Ebenezer scrooge#scrooge: a christmas carol#scrooge a christmas carol#I'm getting real tired of seeing tags of people freak out in despair after reblogging my sets like#First of all it's not a huge deal#And also WHY even reblog these sets if you're gonna be a negative nancy anyway#Let ONE scrooge be a DILF#Also the movie itself is pretty dope and fresh amongst a sea of adaptations of the same story#I've already seen people cast stones thinking just because he's designed that way that the movie isn't worth watching lmao#You guys really need to chill more#Also it doesn't change him being a right bastard lmao#Like handsome/pretty people can't be horrible#Y'all can be so dramatic
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they're like shiny knickknacks to me
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#a dollar and 74 cents#tw scopophobia#never considered Knick as a name and now i'm starting to think hfbvs#//anyway [will smith wife pose]#i've decided they are friends (? ambiguous) and go on hijinks :3 though of course there are the Horrors (ambiguous)#//also ayo i got my id !!#cool cool cool#apparently i look androgynous (ambiguous (i'm gonna stop now lmao)) so that is a funkin WIN#downside is i DO look Very tired (bc i had to take off my glasses (and i thought i had more time to prep before the flash suckerpunched me)#and/or intoxicated SO. LMao#it was fine though :) DID i freak out? yea a lil. WAS it aighty though? yea :>#take that anxiety i only missed an unknown amount of social cues Lol B3#//anywho my computer is going to die and i'm gonna get motionsick again bc i am in a ~+~caaaar~+~#toodles noodle :3
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this is a super messy edit, but here's a rough redesign of zinnia for my tower tycoon / older zinnia au! after zinnia's adventures in pasio & anabel's disappearance, she takes her place as hoenn's resident tower tycoon.
a more detail explanation of the au's setup is under the cut. ⤵
zinnia ends up traveling to pasio around a year after the events of oras + the delta episode in search of a new purpose, becoming known as a mysterious trainer that's a fierce opponent in battle. after forming a sync pair with rayquaza and saving pasio from a meteor, word of her heroics and strength as a trainer began to spread far and wide. eventually, this information made its way back to scott, who was at a loss thanks to the disappearance of the battle tower's frontier brain. he quickly contacted noland and lucy, asking them to recruit zinnia for the position. the two were reluctant to go along with the idea at first, ( replacing anabel would be a tall order for anyone and they had heard the rumors surrounding zinnia's recent past in hoenn, ) but she decided to give it a shot. testing trainers' abilities in battle with rayquaza by her side did sound like a blast, returning home as a celebrated trainer didn't sound too bad either. so, once again, she awaits in one of hoenn's lofty towers — not awaiting for her destiny, but for any trainers who think they're able to best her in battle.
#pokemon#pkmn oras#pokemon zinnia#lorekeeper zinnia#tower tycoon zinnia au#pokemon edit#my edits.png#where are all my fellow gay zinnia lovers at??#i got the idea for this au / ending for zinnia and got so excited#she'd make a great frontier brain i think#another part to this au is juan taking over for spencer when he retires / ya know...#listen it's a timeskip au and spencer already on the older side#it'll probably be a tortimer situation in the au though#also i forgot to edit in the scales on the cloak but don't worry about that#i'm so freaking tired i need to got to bed#i'll draw actual art of this design i just needed to get my idea for it out
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Unfriendly reminder that transphobes are NOT welcome on any of my accounts. I don't care what you call yourself, YOU. ARE. NOT. WELCOME. HERE.
#text post#lgbtq#lgbt#trans#transgender#tw transphobia#tw transphobes#that includes rad queers-TERFS-whatever name y'all go by#y'all are literally not gonna win#you're on the account of a trans person & you think you're gonna get away with that stuff#I'm getting so sick and tired of them commenting on my posts Nex#Nex was a MINOR you freaks.
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not having a good one yall
#neck hurts#head hurts#partner broke a tooth and is freaking out#slept for 4 hours#we're fucking broke#I'm just so goddamn tired#when does it get easier
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listen. i simply think people really need to educate themselves on the hallmarks of antisemitism and not just leave it to jews to get all the backlash for pointing it out because it’s incredibly insidious and even more dangerous when left to fester
#s.txt#is this bitchy??? yeah a little#antisemitism#i'm fucking exhausted i'm sorry i'm so fucking tired#idk what about me just screams be a freak to this person for being loudly jewish#but it's getting to me this week and i'm fucking over it i'm exhausted jsndhbsk#ok to rb ig#actually please do bc again. i'm fucking tired sdjhfgsj
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just accidentally spilled an entire water bottle on my bed :)
took my sheets off and put a towel over it. then looked up what to do just in case and. like everything said "use a fan" and "mold could happen so be careful" and now i am Terrified of getting mold since so much spilled and since i don't have any fans. i am so tired oh my god i just want to go to bed
#like genuinely terrified of it molding now#so that's great :)#i just wanna go to bed but i feel like i have to tend to my mattress#but i won't be able to work well tomorrow if i stay up super late tending to a mattress i can't even sleep on tonight#ugh sorry the thought of having to buy a new mattress bc of mold Terrifies me#i am a teacher universe like i save a lot but i do not make a lot of money :)#anyways sorry for rambling it's been one of those nights#i was actually having a pretty good day until then#i was getting settled in for the night... put my water bottle down on my bed while i went to piss#and then i was going to get in it and lie down after a long day of work#aND IT FELL AND SPILLED#like yeah that's on me for being stupid but i like keeping water in my room!!! that one hadn't spilled before so i thought i'd be fine for#the few minutes i'd be gone but nooooooo#okay i'm done now sorry#super tired and super paranoid#and my mom said to put my mattress pad over the shower like bestie i live in an apt you think i'm putting my WHITE mattress pad on the rod?#absolutely not i know that's pathetic of me but idc i DON'T do stains not at all nope nope nope#okay done now for real sorry#just freaked :)#corey talks:)
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Twst OC Bio: Xenio Wormwood
Yeah idk if anyone here cares but I suddenly got an idea for an oc on the bus ride home the other day and I've quickly grown attached to this character so I want to talk about him! This post is super long but whatever.
Basics:
Name: Xenio Wormwood
Birthday: October 1st (Libra)
Age: 18
Dorm: Pomefiore (formerly Ignihyde)
Unique Magic: I don't have a name for it yet, but it casts lightning bolts
Dominant Hand: Left
Homeland: Island of Woe
School:
Grade: 3rd year
Club: Science
Best Subject: Potionology
Preferences:
Hobbies: Collecting
Pet Peeves: Being told what to do in flight class
Favorite Food: Meat
Least Favorite Food: Raw vegetables
Talent: Hosting guests
Nicknames: Magpie, Fée Verte (from Rook)
Misc:
Species: Harpy
Based On: The vultures from the Evil Queen's death scene
Likes: Stealing small objects, trying new foods, fashion
Dislikes: Not fitting in, disrespectful guests
Pronouns: Any (but is mostly called 'he' because NRC is an all boy school)
Orientation: Aroace
Hair: Brown, waist length
Eyes: Green
Rambling:
So he ended up having far more Greek inspiration than I originally planned. Whoops. My thought process was if I was gonna make this character a harpy, then I wanted some connections to Greek mythology. His name comes from the word xenia, an ancient Greek concept of hospitality. It's also a reference to Zeus as he was sometimes called Zeus Xenios due to his role as a protector of strangers. I also went with the Zeus reference because I wanted to give him lightning magic. The nickname from Rook comes from a drink called absinthe, which has wormwood as an ingredient. It was called "the green fairy" in various literature. He's frequently called Magpie because of his stealing collecting random objects, mostly shiny ones.
#If any of the info about Greek words isn't correct then get mad at Wikipedia instead of me#not sorry for the long post#let me have some fun with my own characters#I've avoided making a twst oc for a while but this idea hit me like a ton of bricks and wouldn't leave me alone#gonna post this while I'm too tired to freak myself out over actually talking about my ocs#I was kinda worried about him not fitting Pomefiore because he's mostly based in Greek mythology#but it's not like Epel or Sebek particularly match what they were based on so whatever#twst oc#twst#twisted wonderland#dahlia's ocs#dahlia's rambling
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I don't like that the first sign that we need to sleep is usually just a horrible uneasy feeling that we can easily mistake for our anxiety being triggered by something or there being something else wrong, and by the time we experience something we actually register as the kind of tiredness where we need to sleep instead of just being worn out and feeling shitty, we're usually so tired we probably won't manage to get ready for bed properly and that feeling seems to come on very suddenly and then we're fucked
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#freaking out and getting anxious and feeling like there's something very wrong that I can't pinpoint#and starting to get panicky because our brain kept coming up with worse and worse scenarios to worry about for like an hour#only to then finally get hit with the actual feeling of needing to sleep#except the panic hasn't really gone away and I need to put a bunch of stuff away before I can even lay down#but I'm so tired it's making me dizzy and like I hadn't gotten ready for bed because I didn't expect to need to sleep this early
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it's so frustrating dealing with a friend that seems set on finding imaginary slights against their person and seethes in silence waiting for you to figure out what you did 'wrong' this time 🤦♀️
#this is the fifth time since october i've invited her somewhere to catch up and she said no#always with some excuse#which. sure. i can't verify#maybe the 8th time in the last year she refused for some reason or another#but there's only so many times you can give someone the benefit of the doubt#when she never initiates anything and just waits for us to ask her out#and if you don't happen to do that within the secret interval of time she is available and which she never discloses#she registers it as a slight#i'm so tired of these stupid mind games how old are you/??#also she is SO hard to get hold of. never answers anything on any messaging app for days on end including the weekends#even if the proposal is time sensitive#girl you are NOT that busy bffr#i remember we invited her to see barbieheimer and she did not freaking answer on time. as usual.#and we had to get tickets without her bc the time slots quickly sold out#and ofc she was pissed at us bc she's can't be bothered to reply 🤦♀️#she always is pissed even when it's clearly her fault#when she clearly sees the message bc she DOES check the apps whaddyaknow#and the one time we did manage to see each other she had the gall to propose that we go out more often!!!#and then never initiates anything and refuses everything#ik if i were to recount this to a third person they would tell me she already checked out of this friendship#it's so stupid#having to walk on these eggshells#bc we didn't even have a falling out she's just finding pretexts to become offended#that was been her modus operandi since the freaking pandemic#good lord the stories i have#lemonposting#anyway i'm bummed out now
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