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therealcocoshady · 2 days

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Recovery - Chapter 40

Summary : Y/N tells Marshall she cheated on him.

Tags : Angst - Smut - Fluff

Thank you again to @shady-577 who kindly agreed to read this chapter beforehand and did a great job at motivating me when I was writing that SMUTTY part 🥵

Marshall stared at you for what felt like ages. He wasn’t mad, no. He was beyond livid. You’d seen him angry and pissed off before… or so you thought. He didn’t need to say a single word, though. The energy he exuded was enough for the whole block to know go he felt. You were feeling ashamed and helpless. It felt like there was absolutely nothing you could do and you just had to wait for his wrath to come down on you. Whatever it was that he was ready to throw at you, it was probably deserved, and there was no denying that. At some point, he had been silent for so long that you avoided his gaze. Him starting at you so silently was almost creepy. You were just sitting here, tears streaming down your face, waiting for him to say a word.

- Did he force you ? He finally asked.

- He didn’t, you said as you kept on crying.

- You wanted it ?! He asked in disbelief.

- No, I-, you began.

- So he did force you, he said as he cut you.

- No, you cried. I mean… I’m the one who kissed him.

- No you weren’t, he said. You wouldn’t do that. You would never.

- I did, you cried. And I’m so sorry. But I… I…

- You what ? He spat. You fell and your tongue accidentally ended up in his mouth ?!

- I kissed him because I needed to feel good again, you cried. I kissed him because I felt dirty and ashamed because the one person who said he would always have my back and protect me fed me to the wolves. I have spent all week being harassed on social media, witnessing people celebrating the return of Slim Shady and making awful montages of me ! I was feeling worthless and he was there. So yes, I kissed him. Because, for one split second, I felt seen and worthy again. I kissed him because I wanted to feel loved.

You were bawling, struggling to get the words out of your mouth, but it felt good. You could feel Marshall staring at you even though it was hard to decipher his expression, your vision being clouded by the tears in your eyes.

- I know I shouldn’t have, you said. I know it’s wrong and I hate myself for betraying you this way. I’m so sorry… and I know cheating is never ok but…

- Did you sleep with him ? He asked.

- No, you replied earnestly. It was just a kiss.

- How was it ?

- How was what ? You asked confused.

- Describe it, he instructed. I want to know.

- I… it was a kiss, you said. Just a kiss.

- How did it feel ? He asked. Did you like it ?

- Familiar, you replied. Comfortable. But I-I didn’t like it.

- Why is that ?

- Marshall, do we have to do this ? You asked with pleading eyes. I’m so sorry…

- Answer me, he said coldly.

- I… I didn’t like it because it didn’t feel right, you said. I immediately regretted it. Because it was familiar and it felt safe but it wasn’t you.

- Do you love him ? He asked. Is he the one you want to be with ?

- No. Of course not ! You cried. You’re the one I want to be with ! But I was hurt, and lost, and I know it doesn’t make it right but… there’s nothing else I can say. I fucked up.

He nodded and stayed silent. He took his face in his hands and didn’t move for a couple of minutes. Then, he took a breath and looked at you intently.

- Alright, he said.

- Alright ? You asked nervously.

- Do you want to be with me ? He asked back.

- I… yes, you said.

You were lost. You expected him to leave you on the spot, insult you… hell, even though you knew he wasn’t violent, you would have expected him to hit you rather than the reaction he was having.

- Good, he said. We’re going to get through it.

- Aren’t you mad ? You asked in confusion.

- I’m not mad, Y/N, he stated. I am beyond mad. But it doesn’t change what I said ten minutes ago. I love you, I want to be with you and we will get through this.

- O-ok, you said as you tried to dry your tears.

- Here’s what we’re going to do : you’re going to pack your bags and you’re coming home with me. Tonight. And tomorrow, I’m booking a therapy session for the both of us. Alright ?

- Ok, you nodded nervously.

You went upstairs and quickly prepared your things. When you went back downstairs, he was speaking with Talia and Jamal. Things seemed tense but civil nonetheless. You hugged your friends and thanked them profusely for taking care of you.

- Call us if you need anything, baby, Talia said.

- Of course, you replied.

- And you, Jamal told Marshall, you better take good care of her. Understood ? I swear on Talia, if you fuck it up…

- Yeah, Marshall replied. I know.

They stared at each other for a second before eventually dapping each other and you went on your way. The car ride home was relatively silent. You weren’t too sure what to say. As soon as Marshall said he wanted to work things out and that he didn’t want to dump you, you had felt relieved but now it was becoming apparent that the hardest part might be in front of you, not behind. He carried your bags and you went to the bedroom.

- Time for bed, he said. You look exhausted. I’ll call the therapist in the morning.

- Ok, you said timidly. Marshall, I… I’m really sorry, you know ?

- I know, he said. I’m sorry too.

You looked in his eyes, hoping to find something you could hold on to, in order to feel safe, more at ease. He was staring intently but his jaw was clenched. There was a hardness to him. You immediately lowered your gaze. He placed a hand on your shoulder and a chaste kiss on your forehead.

- I’ll let you get ready for bed, he said.

- Aren’t you coming ? You asked nervously.

- Yeah, in a minute.

He disappeared and you unpacked your bags, before grabbing a nightgown and matching silk robe from your closet. You got in bed and waited for Marshall. It was your first time sleeping in your bed in a week and, even though it was your house, your bedroom, it felt foreign. Without Marshall by your side, the bed was cold. You waited for a couple of hours but he didn’t come. You nervously got up and went downstairs, where you found him sitting on the couch, face in his hands.

- Marshall…? You asked.

- Sorry, he said. I’m coming. I just need a minute.

- Are you alright…?

- Of course not, he scoffed. How the fuck can I be alright when my woman kissed someone else ?! When someone else touched her ?! How can you expect me to be alright when you went and made out with your fucking ex boyfriend ?!

- I’m sorry, you said as tears started welling in your eyes.

- Being sorry doesn’t change anything, he replied coldly. I should know.

You nodded nervously as the tears started to silently stream down your face. He looked at you and sighed.

- Go back to bed, honey, he said. I’ll sleep here tonight.

- You could always take the guest room, you said.

- I’d rather keep my distance, he said. I’m sorry.

- And not even sleep on the same floor ? You asked. Look, if you don’t think we can-

- I want us to work things out, he said. I do. And I want you with me. That’s the plan. But right now, I’m pissed and you don’t want me around, babe. I swear.

- Why ? You asked as you sat next to him. You said we can get through this. Because it’s us.

- Because, right now, the only thing on my mind is to remind you of whose girlfriend you are, he groaned. Of who you belong to. Of taking back everything that’s mine, that this motherfucker got his hands on.

His eyes were dark and, from the tone of his voice, you knew just how he wanted to remind you that you were his. Truth was, even when you kissed Simon, you had never stopped being Marshall’s. Not even for a second. Which was probably the worst thing about all of it. You looked at him for a second and let your silk robe fall to the floor, leaving you in your nightgown. He stared at you intently, not saying a word.

- ok, you simply whispered.

- You want this ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- I want you, you nodded.

- I won’t be nice, he said.

- Don’t be nice, then.

His arm reached for you and pulled you to him. You were straddling his lap, trying to find balance when he kissed you hungrily. One of his hands was on your hip while the other was on your neck, letting you know he was in charge. You weren’t wearing anything under your nightgown, so your pussy was completely bare against his thigh. You let out a moan and he gently bit your lip before resuming the intense making out.

- Is that how you kissed him ? He asked. Did he ever kiss you like this ?

- N-No, you said breathily.

- Good, he said coldly. Now, tell me, where did he touch you ?

- What ? You asked in confusion.

- Where were his hands ? He asked. I need to know.

- He… he cupped my face, you said nervously. And he touched my shoulder… and he had his hand on my hip.

He brought a hand to your face, stroking your cheek. Then, he placed his hands right where you had described Simon touching you.

- like this ? He asked.

- Yes, you nodded.

He tightened his grip on you and kissed you again, making you feel just how possessive he was.

- You said you were mine, he reminded you. The night we got together. You said it.

- I am yours, you replied in a pleading voice.

- So you think you can just go and give away what is mine ? He groaned.

- N-No, you said. I’m yours. I’m all yours.

- Is that mouth mine ? He asked in between kisses.

- Yes, you almost cried. It’s yours.

- Show me, then, he directed.

You proceeded to kiss him softly, cupping his face, running your fingers in his hair. He hummed into the kiss before letting out a groan. Then, without giving you any notice, he planted a kiss in your neck before sucking on it, causing you to gasp a the intensity. You knew it would leave a mark but you didn’t care one bit in that moment. Then, his mouth went to your shoulder, right where Simon had touched you, and he bit it, not too harshly, but enough for his teeth to leave a mark.

- Mine, he groaned. You’re mine.

You nodded and, before you could say anything, he was ripping your silk nightgown off your body and biting your hip before sucking on it, causing you to let out a small cry. His piercing blue gaze inspected you, as if to make sure you were ok, and he kissed you again, letting his hands wander on your body. You were under his spell, willing to please him and let him know you were his, his only. You fell to your knees and looked at him, asking for permission. He simply nodded, letting you get to work. You undid his sweatpants and boxers, letting his cock spring free. You pumped it a couple of times before starting to lick and suck on it. You closed your eyes, focusing, and heard him gasp as his length reached the back of your throat, triggering a bit of a gag reflex on your part. You kept on sucking, trying to take as much of him as you could.

- This mouth is mine, huh ? He asked.

You nodded and he gently stroked your cheek before putting your hair into a makeshift ponytail and using it to direct your movements. Before you knew it, he was fucking your mouth as you were trying to keep up. You were a drooling mess, with tears streaming down your cheeks. You half expected him to come in your mouth but he didn’t. In fact, he kept going for a long time, your jaw starting to ache. At one point, though, you couldn’t take it anymore and had to tap on his thigh to let him notice you were gasping for air. When he let go of your mouth, his cock was shining, full of your saliva. While you were composing yourself, breathing some much needed air, he shed the rest of his clothes and, when he was done, he grabbed your hand and helped you get back up.

- I’m not done with you, he said. I’m going to remind you who you belong to. So that you never forget it again.

You nodded and he kissed you before having you bend over the dining room table, your tits against the cold glass. You felt his hand on your butt, squeezing it, giving it a little slap. He kneeled behind you and started licking your pussy, no doubt feeling how wet you were. You could hear the sound of your own arousal when he inserted two fingers, curving them so they’d hit just the right spot. His tongue was stroking your clit, making you see stars.

- I’m going to come, you warned.

- No, he said firmly as he stopped what he was doing.

- Wh-what ? You asked.

- I decide when you come, he said. You don’t.

You were about to protest when he grabbed you firmly and had you sit on the edge of the table before entering you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, trying to find balance while he was pounding hard into you. He usually gave you some time to get used to him being inside but not this time. You were gasping and moaning each time he hit your cervix. And right when you were going to come, he stopped and had you change position, putting you in doggystyle on the couch. He resumed the thrusting, one hand playing with your clit, the other gently teasing your asshole while he was pounding into you. This had you losing your mind and you were unable to hold your orgasm. Your legs were shaking and tears were rolling down your cheeks as you were crying in pleasure.

- What did I say about cumming ? Marshall asked.

- I’m sorry, you panted.

- If you want orgasms, I’ll give you some, he said with a grin.

He made you come again and again, using and abusing your holes. Everything around you was a blur and your senses could only focus on Marshall, sliding in and out of you, leaving bites all over your body. You weren’t even capable of forming coherent thoughts and simply mumbled « ohs » and « ahs ». With everybody orgasm, you were sure you couldn’t take any more but he gladly proved you wrong.

- Did he ever fuck you like this ? He asked.

- Who ?

- That motherfucker, he groaned. Don’t make me say his name. Did he ever make you come like this ? Did he ever make you squirt like that ?

- N-no, you cried. No, he didn’t.

- That’s right, he said as he kept on stroking your clit.

You could feel your limbs spasming and, as he tried to get you to ride him, you found that you were absolutely unable to stand. You started doubting that you were able to go again but he encouraged you as he fucked himself into you.

- One more, baby, he said. Give me one more.

- I can’t, you cried.

- Yes you can, he said before biting your neck once again.

Your eyes rolled back into your skull and, for half a second, you wondered if there was such a thing as dying from too many orgasms. Was it the death you were destined to die ? Dying in the arms of Marshall as he bottomed into you, causing screams of equal pain and pleasure ? But you couldn’t tell him to stop. Not even if you wanted to. And you didn’t even want to. You felt your muscles contracting around him one last time and he almost stopped, causing you to whimper and cry in frustration.

- Whose pussy is it ? He asked.

- Min- No, no, yours !

- Who do you belong to ? He asked again.

- You, you cried. I-I belong to you.

He let out a grunt and thrusted into you a couple more times, chasing both of your highs. You felt him twitch inside of you as he came inside, before collapsing on top of you. You were trembling and shuddering, crying tears of pleasure and pain. You were sure you blacked out for a moment. When you came to your senses, Marshall’s fingers were tracing the features on your face.

- I love you, he said emotionally.

- I love you too, you mumbled.

- Are you ok ? He asked with a concerned look.

- Mmmmmh, you groaned.

- Mmmh yes or mmmmh no ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Mmmyes, you painfully articulated.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you realized just how sweaty you were. You were laying on the floor, in a puddle of your own release. As you slowly regained your senses, you took notice of just how sore you were and, as soon as you tried sitting up, you let out a painful gasp. Evidently, your body has been put through a lot.

- Don’t move, honey, he directed.

- M’so sore, you complained.

- I bet, he said softly. How about a bath ?

You nodded and closed your eyes. You were feeling completely spent and unsure whether or not you’d be able to move ever again. He lifted you and carried you bridal style to the bathroom where he drew a bath for the both of you. He was incredibly soft and gentle, contrasting with the roughness with which he had fucked you senseless. Every part of your body was sore, from your throat to your pussy and ass, to your legs, without mentioning your neck and back. Marshall gently lathered you with soap and massaged your back. As his hands went to your legs, you automatically closed them.

- Don’t worry, I’m done with you for now, he chuckled.

- You better be, you mumbled. Nearly killed me.

He scoffed and placed a small kiss on your shoulder before applying some cleanser to your face, which direly needed it. Between drool, sweat and other bodily fluids that had dried on it, it felt terrible. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the softness of Marshall’s touch. He seemed to be back to his and loving self. When you were done with the bath, he wrapped you in a towel and carried you to the bedroom. He let you down on the bed and went to his closet to get some comfy clothes for you to wear.

- Sorry I tore the nightgown, babe, he said as he helped you get dressed. I’ll get you another one.

- Ok, you yawned.

You let your head fall on the pillow and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, making sure you were comfortable. He asked you a couple of questions but most of your responses were monosyllabic. You were all sore, fucked-out and overall exhausted. He got up and, as he reached the door, you were suddenly worried.

- You’re leaving ? You asked anxiously in a throaty voice.

- I think I have some cleaning to do downstairs, he replied with a smirk.

- Oh, right, you mumbled.

- I’ll come back with water and snacks in a few. You just rest, ok ?

- Thanks for taking care of me, you whispered.

- I love you, you know ? He asked.

- I love you too, you said emotionally. And I am yours. All yours.

- I know, he said.

He went downstairs and you glanced at the window. It was already morning and the sun was rising. It was beautiful and it gave you a sense of peace. When Marshall came back, you were staring at the sun dreamily. He handed you a bottle of water and sat in bed next to you.

- It’s beautiful, you said.

- It is, he agreed.

You turned and noticed he was staring at you. You blushed and lowered your gaze. He cupped your face and kissed you gently.

- We should sleep, baby, he said.

You nodded and laid down. He cuddled you in a spoon position, stroking your hair and tracing circles on your scalp.

- Are you ok ? You asked. Are you still… mad ?

- I don’t know. I think I’m still hurt, he admitted.

- I’m sorry, you said. I really am…

- I know, baby, he said. So am I.

- Do you think we’ll be ok ? You asked nervously.

- I hope so, he said. That’s what I want. I want us to forgive each other and move on.

You nodded and turned around, burying your face in his neck. He mumbled a few love words in your ear and you fell asleep in his arms.

When you woke up, you were still exhausted. You were alone in bed and assumed Marshall had gone to the studio to get some work done. Your whole body was sore and you struggled to get out of bed to go downstairs. As soon as you got in the living room, you were met with Marshall, who was speaking to Tracy. You immediately felt self-conscious to appear in Marshall’s clothes, with messy hair and a morning face. You also wondered what she was doing here. You knew that, before you lived here, she often came to Marshall’s place for work purposes, but ever since you had moved in, she hadn’t been around - which was fine with you.

- Hey babe, Marshall said with a smile. Didn’t think you’d be up so early.

- Bed was empty, you shrugged. Hi Tracy.

- Hi, Y/N, she said rather awkwardly. I… didn’t realize you were back.

- I am, you said equally awkwardly. I… live here, you know ?

- I know, she said. I just… Marshall mentioned you weren’t there, lately. But I’m glad to see you’re back !

The whole thing was rather awkward. She was staring at you intently. You were in Marshall’s clothes and it definitely had a pajama feel to it, but at least, you were decent. You shot a glance at Marshall, as if to ask what her deal was. He stared back and pretended to scratch his neck. You raised an eyebrow and looked at the mirror. You were wearing an oversized tee-shirt and sweatpants but they didn’t hide the marks all over your arms and necks. You looked as if you’d been in a car crash, or attacked by some psychopath. You expected to see some hickies, but were definitely surprised to notice bruises and some distinct bite marks, in your neck and all over your arms. You didn’t even remember Marshall biting you there. You covered your mouth and felt your face flush with embarrassment.

- So, there’s what you asked for, Tracy said as she handed Marshall a bag. I’ll be at the office with Paul all day. Call me if you need anything ?

- Thanks, Marshall said. Can you cancel my recording session with Royce tomorrow ? I need the afternoon free.

She left and Marshall handed you the bag Tracy had given him. It was a new phone.

- Sent her to the Apple Store this morning, he chuckled. Figured you’d need a new one.

- Thanks, you said before kissing his cheek. I wondered what she was doing here.

- I know you don’t like being around her, but I couldn’t exactly go there by myself without causing a riot, he chuckled. Last time I tried was a nightmare. I would have ordered in online but delivery takes longer.

- I’ll admit that having an assistant must come in handy, you giggled. She did not seem happy to see me.

- I think she was just surprised, he shrugged. By your appearance, mostly.

- Speaking of which… you fucking marked me !

- I think I got a little carried away, he admitted. But in my defense, every time I bit you, you moaned in pleasure. I simply obliged.

- So it’s not a revenge because you’re jealous ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

- I’ll plead the fifth, he chuckled. Guess it’ll serve as a reminder that you are spoken for. Both for you and the rest of the world.

- I think the rest of the world will call 911 if they see me like this, you pointed out. You’re crazy !

- About you, yes, he said with a smile. Speaking of crazy… we have an appointment for therapy tomorrow.

- Ok, you said nervously. Do you think it’s going to work ?

- I’m willing to try anything, he said. I’m not losing you. I’m not giving up on us.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #recovery fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine

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dragons-and-ages · 2 days

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I am well aware that I’m delusional, but here’s how Varric-mancers can still win in 2024

But he’s not a companion.

Yeah, so? While he may not be an active companion, he appears to be taking an advisory role. Perhaps he’s a liaison between the Veilguard and the Inquisition remnants. If he is an advisor, that wouldn’t preclude him from being a romance option. See: Josie and Cullen.

But BioWare is going to kill him off.

ngl this prospect scares me.

I’ll admit that he is giving one-week-to-retirement vibes. But maybe he’s just tired of being in the field after so many years. He’s getting older; He doesn’t need to be slogging through the muck with us when his most formidable weapons are pen and paper.

But if he was going to be romanceable, he’d have been an option in an earlier game.

Not necessarily. Again, see: Cullen. It took three games for Cullen to be romanceable, which made sense! Cullen, as a character, was very much NOT mentally in a place that he would be open to romance in DAO and DA2. I’d argue the same for Varric, which I’ll get into below.

But it makes more sense for Varric to romance Hawke.

It’s true that Hawke and Varric are besties. Varric is clearly ride-or-die for Hawkes of all flavors. Varric has also known Hawke longer than any of the other protagonists. However, during those formative years in Kirkwall, Varric was very much still stuck on Bianca. (And let’s not deny that Hawkes of all flavors are also messy). Varric built an intentional wall between himself and Hawke or, you could argue, between himself and the character, the Champion of Kirkwall. See, Varric is a writer and he has a way of idealizing and romanticizing life and the people around him.

Being the teller of the story allows him to be in some kind of control.

Ok, but Varric couldn’t romance the Inquisitor.

That was even more implausible than Hawke. Again, Varric seems to see the people around him like story characters. The Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste, is this big, potentially tragic, hero figure. DAI takes place over a shorter period of time than DA2, and while you may be able to build a friendly relationship with him, there is still clearly a wall there. Not to mention, he’s still comfortably pining for Bianca until the ‘Well, shit’ quest.

But Varric is in love with Bianca.

Bianca Davri. Gorgeous and brilliant dwarven woman voiced by Laura Bailey. It’s hard for my bi ass not to love her on those points alone. She has an amazing mind and is the only surface dwarf ever to be nominated for paragon status because of her inventions. She and Varric had a romance and were forced apart by the Merchant’s Guild before she was betrothed to a guy in the smith caste. And in the years since, the two of them have kept up a secret correspondence. Tell me all of that doesn’t smack of tragic storybook doomed romance. Of course Varric was stuck on her. Not to mention, he has carried around one of her inventions ever since; one that he named after her.

I think that, in the years since they were forcibly separated, Varric built up an idealized version of Bianca in his mind. You can see he does that to a certain extent with everyone. He separates himself, the writer, from the characters. Sometimes an old hurt is safer than opening up again and Varric has been safe and comfortable with not entering into a new romance. And there’s always that sliver of hope, fed by secret letters, that he and Bianca could be together in the end.

But then ‘Well, shit’ happens in DAI and Varric walks away angry with Bianca after it is revealed that SHE is responsible for leaking the location of the red lyrium. I think (I hope) that this event has shattered the idealized version of Bianca that lives in Varric’s mind. I don’t know how much time has passed since DAI, but I hope that that revelation has started a chain reaction where Varric has reevaluated his relationship with Bianca and is finally ready to put that chapter behind him.

And here’s where my batshit delulu theory starts:

I propose that Bianca the crossbow breaks early on in the game. This would be symbolic of Varric moving from active companion to an advisor status. It’s a sign to Varric that it’s time for a change. On the romance front, it’s the final nail in the coffin of his pining after Bianca.

Rook and The Veilguard are a smaller group than the Inquisition. Stakes are still high, but there’s not this strange reverence for Rook like there was for the Inquisitor. And the group is small and intimate, not a massive, world changing machine like the Inquisition was. I can see Varric being surprised, but cautiously open to flirting overtures from Rook.

It has been so many years since Varric has really allowed himself to love and be loved. It’s been too long since he allowed himself to be a part of the story rather than telling it. He’s getting older now, maybe it’s time to let that chapter close and really try to live and love again.

It has the potential to be a very mature, slow burn, beautiful romance and I know I’m deluding myself but I want it so bad.

#varric tethras #dragon age #da4 #datv #dragon age the veilguard #LET ME SMOOCH HIM BIOWARE ISTG #I got my clown nose on HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKERS

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brighttears · 2 days

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Cleardune Chapter 2: Little Lamb

Joel Miller x f!reader

no physical description, no use of y/n

Summary: Joel is there again at the saloon in the morning, and you try to be subtle about setting up another meeting. Later on, the two of you end up talking for hours, and it’s delightfully refreshing. But then, you have to go back home, late to fix a meal for your father. He’s not happy about it. Usually, you’re passive, but today, you’re simply fed up. It escalates, and breaks your heart. But you’ve already set up to see Joel again tonight, and in the time between seeing him again, you become determined to get in his pants. He seems to have the same idea.

Word count: 5.7

Warnings: argument with your father including a startle with hitting his hand on the table, pet names (sweetheart, darling, little lady, honey), mention of reader’s mother’s death, smut tease

Series masterlist

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Despite the absolute delight of seeing Joel again—your entire body language perking up when he finally walks through those saloon doors—meeting his eyes is almost a challenge. He’d been in your dreams, alright; up close and bare with his hands all over you, that’s what he was. They were unexpectedly vivid, and the images keep flashing in your head whenever you look at him.

“Somethin’ on your mind, sweetheart?” He asks with a smirk under twinkling eyes.

Yes, you are, in the most sinful of ways, and you’re only making it worse by calling me that. “Me? Oh, no.” You chuckle, damning your awkwardness. Betraying you are your hands as they aggressively polish clean glasses while Joel leans casually over the bar with an untouched glass of whisky in his hands. And, god, he’s staring. You’d thought that that would have you over the moon, but you’re blushing like a rose, still having trouble just looking at him. After a moment of just those eyes, he stands down. “Alright.” He smirks, dropping his gaze down to his glass.

It’s obvious he knows you’re not being truthful, but at least he’s not trying to pry right here at the bar. If you were at all able to tell him what’s on your mind, the last place in the world it could be would be here, with this, admittedly small, but audience nonetheless, in the saloon. The way they all occasionally glance your way tells you that this is a show for them; not that you could blame them—they’ve all known you for years, and you yourself know that you’ve never reacted to someone like this. Perky and nervous and blushing and actually smiling. You can’t help it. At this point, you may as well just be at Joel’s mercy. Just at his existence, at his presence. You’re as gone as a leaf in a creek.

Another issue is the jacket. You don’t dare bring it out right now, slam the big leather thing on the bar to announce to all of these men that something between you two happened last night that left you with a piece of his clothing. Still, you have to return it. Dare you set up another meeting with him right here? How are you supposed to hide this? You’re out of practice. Thankfully, Joel seems to have a tactic in mind.

“So, you still want those ridin’ lessons? We could go out to the barn today once you’re done here.”

Thankful, you smile, and play along. “Yes, I would love that. I’m just nervous about my father, he doesn’t want me riding, but it’s a skill I have to learn. It’s very kind of you to teach me.” You speak quiet enough to feign secretiveness, but make sure just about everyone in the saloon can hear. You know they’ll all have some understanding. They know your father, and though none dare to touch the subject with him, everyone agrees that it’s a necessary skill, even for a woman. And, here is this stranger, either foolish or brave enough to take it on.

“Well then, he won’t find out. Just somethin’ we gotta make happen.”

You smile. “Well, he should be here soon.”

“Good. I’ll meet you at the barn, then.” Joel nods with knowing eyes, and you nod back. With that, he leaves, the glass of whiskey still full on the bar.

You realize now that this is a secret, you and Joel, whatever you are. It’s exciting, and it honestly kind of turns you on. A secret romance—you hope, at least. He hasn’t made any moves, really, but… the way he looked at you last night, the way he held you… a man doesn’t do that to just any woman. Maybe you’re reading into things, you can’t tell, you’re too swept up in it.

You have to do something. Something. Hell, you already called him good looking a couple times now, and, come to think of it, it’s gotta be obvious in the way you stare at him. He said just the same about you, too, and the way he was just staring at you—this has to be something. The beginning of something. Yes, you decide, it is, and your heart skips just at the very thought of it.

You’re nearly losing control of yourself now, fearing that when you see Joel today you’ll be all blushes and awkward glances down. But before you can get too much in your head about it, your father walks down the stairs, signaling your leave. Much earlier than expected, but, obviously, you’re not one to complain.

“Hey, pa.” You offer a small smile at him.

“Yep.” Is his short, gruff reply as you switch spots around the bar.

Whatever, you tell yourself, hiding the vexed look on your face and shoving down the disappointment that should have quit coming around a long time ago. You have something nice to think about now, though, someone who can’t stand to see you cold, who wants to teach you about horses, who holds you gently, who actually talks to you. Who cares.

After rushing through chores, you make your escape out the window again, Joel’s jacket folded under your arm, and meet him waiting again in the barn.

“Sooner than I expected.” He smiles, leaning against the wall with that shining smile of his. It’s very bright today, his crows feet tight and cheeks plump.

“I know, me too.” You approach him with a smile, unfolding his jacket from your arm and holding it out to him. “Here’s your jacket.”

“Thanks.” He takes it, still smiling.

“Did you—were you really, planning on teaching me how to ride a horse?”

“Well,” he sighs, “not really, was just tryna get you away from there without raising any… suspicion.” He smirks. “But I can, if you want.”

You consider. Being taught how to ride a horse was not exactly on your mind either, and it would be the more responsible move, but you don’t really care. You just want to see him, and it warms your heart that that's all he really wanted to do, too.

“Well, we could,” you shift on your feet and fidget with your hands.

“Well, do you want to?”

“I mean…” something in you is too nervous to be truthful, though you’re not sure why. Joel chuckles in response, “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. We can just spend some time together. I’d like to do that.”

With that, you’re back to beaming. “Me too.”

“Then, that’s what we’ll do.” He smiles back.

You spend all afternoon in the barn, just talking and laughing, first standing, then leaning, then sitting on bales of hay, and, when a few men came by to do something or other with their horses, you retreated to the pen in the back. Joel stuck a piece of straw in his mouth and you laughed and he smiled and it was like the sun. The conversation flows smoother than butter, and it reminds you of how much you missed people, missed talking, missed friends.

Maybe you’re easy prey, but, every time you doubt yourself, your heart or maybe another lonely bit of you pushes it aside. What are you supposed to do? He’s handsome and he’s kind and funny and he cares and he won’t be here long, and you love talking to him, so, you will. It’s not even anything of real substance, mostly shooting the shit, stories about town and the country, misadventures, gossip about strangers to each other, all lightweight, giggling like kids. It winds around paths you can’t keep track of and that don’t really matter, and like a new stream through a nook in the sandy desert, it fills you and quenches a thirst that’s been there so long you hadn’t even realized how long it’d been.

As the conversation continues, all the way until the sun is in front of you and no longer above, the two of you have ended up wandering closer and closer until you’re just about shoulder to shoulder, sitting against the barn wall. You’d think those butterflies in your chest would get tired, and, to be fair, they’ve calmed some, feeling more and more comfortable with him, but they pop up to dance at every touch of his shoulder to yours.

At the tail end of a laugh together, there’s a knocking beside you, and you whip your head to see the hairy face of Ben Marley. He’d been a close family friend when you were younger, but your dad turned a cold shoulder to the whole world when your mother left it. Now, he’s mostly a passing smile and nod.

“Your father’s lookin’ for you,” he says, tone one to tell that he’s warning you rather than here to drag you to him by the scruff of your neck. Still, your heart jumps to its feet, and you follow suit.

“Does he know I’m here?”

Ben shakes his head. “Nope. But get goin’ ‘fore he does, little lamb.” At the nickname you haven’t heard in years, you pop a small smile.

“Thank you,” you give him a sincere look, and he nods with a smile before disappearing back into the barn. You turn to Joel then with a regretful one, “I’m sorry, but I’ve really got to go.”

“I understand.” He nods, keeping a serene smile.

After smiling back, you switch your head to the barn door, then think twice, and make your way to the fence line.

“Where’re you goin’?” Joel chuckles behind you.

“Well, I figure if he catches me, it might look like I was—going on a walk or something,” you explain as you start climbing through the fence, probably not making yourself look all that attractive or graceful in the process, but then there’s a hand on your elbow, and you turn to meet Joel’s gaze. It stops you in your tracks, because there's something in his eyes, something about his parted lips and the breath that leaves them before he says, “I wanna see you again tonight.” His Adam apple bobs, and you realize that he’s nervous.

You blink. “Yes.” Is all that comes out, because this is the first time you’ve seen that from him. It makes him look young, like just a boy. Just a boy that wants to stay out late with a girl.

He smiles, only half of his normal demeanor coming back, before lowering his voice. “Back here, after dark.”

“Back here, after dark.” You repeat, and he nods.

“Good.” He finally smiles again, but you’re stuck until he gives your elbow a quick, gentle shove. “You better get lost before your daddy catches you with me.” It gets a chuckle out of you before you finally turn to less than gracefully stumble the rest of the way out from the fence, then making quick steps back towards the saloon, not even looking back, because you’ll see him tonight.

Two nights in a row, meeting in the dark with a handsome cowboy. Not just any handsome cowboy, but Joel Miller. Sweetheart, gentleman, a man that makes words come out of you easy, that makes your belly ache from laughing, that you hadn’t even realized you’d spent half the day with, because time is different when you’re with him, the air is different with him, you’re different with him.

You hadn’t bothered to hide how miserable you’ve really gotten these past few years. Life was fun when you were young, you were so full of love, so excited about life, big dreams with bigger hugs to give. And then momma got sick, and within a few weeks, the whole world fell apart. And soon enough, you had just about no one. Poppa got quiet. Real quiet. Got into fights. Told Ben not to show his face at your house again, you woke up to him yelling one night, and Ben did what he was told. Your father created a cold air around him that froze your life over, too, and ever since you left school, you’ve been pretty much alone. Reflecting on it, Henry the Drunk is about the closest you’ve had to a friend in years. It’s a sad and sobering thought as you make your way back home.

You are, in fact, easy prey. Head over heels for the first man to give you a real conversation. But damn it all, what else have you got? You’re a goner, what else have you to do but fall?

“Forgot about dinner.” Pa grunts, anger in his voice, not even looking at you as you pass through the saloon doors.

“Sorry, pa.” You reply quickly, going straight upstairs.

Your hands are swift as you start in the kitchen, heating up the soup already ready in its pot, sawing at the bread that he should be able to saw himself just fine, all these thoughts swirling in your mind, before you slam your palms down on either side of the cutting board.

You feel like you’re losing your mind. Part of you pulling you down a rabbit hole of doubt, timidness, and anger towards your circumstances, the other pulling you up into the daylight of Joel and disinterest for just about everything else.

Is he playing with you? Fooling you? How much will it hurt when he goes? Is a few days worth that heartache? Why would he like you in the first place? Are you really anything special at all?

You deserve this! You like him. He likes you. Can’t it be that simple?

But you really like him. More than you’ve liked anyone before.

It’s only been a day since you met him! Easy prey. Little lamb. Damn it all to hell, you’re defenseless.

But he’s no wolf or lion, no slobbering maw, just a sweet smile, gentle hands, a jacket around your cold shoulders.

“Hell were you doin’?” Your fathers voice interrupts, you too lost in thought to hear the creaky stairs behind you. Within a few seconds, the bread is sliced and lukewarm soup in a bowl.

“Sorry pa, I was just taking a walk, it’s just so nice out today and I—” you start to explain as you set the table, but he stops you with a stern tone. “Only few things I ask you for. I give you a roof over your head, food, a job, but you think you can go mess around in town and ignore your responsibilities like an ungrateful—”

“Ungrateful?”

Your own tone surprises you. Not quite harsh, but still far from the passive tone you’re both used to from you. His eyes are almost wide.

You take a calming breath, though you can feel yourself boil. “I have done everything you have told me to do the second you tell me, for years. And I have smiled at you every day, never met with one back, and not one of my smiles have been genuine. Pa, I've been your maid for years, not a question asked. Not a single request. I waste my life in that bar, I’m wasting my life, pa, at your request. I make your meals—I do everything. What have I done to make you see me as ungrateful?” Your voice starts to quaver as the boiling water bubbles and spits, and you take a step towards him. “I am your daughter, but I’m treated like—”

“Not another damn word.” The plate and cup jump at his fist on the table, his other hand pointing an almost shaking finger at your chest, his tone sharp as a blade, and you freeze.

You’ve never been quite this scared of him before, but you’ve never raised your voice like this, either.

The two of you just stand there for a moment, shaking for different reasons.

“You will do as I say.”

“But I do—”

“Not another damn word!” His volume rattles you into a seat at the table, and when he leans in, his bared teeth look slobbery, and you feel like a lamb. “You get no say. Because you are my daughter, I raised you, and you do not get to raise your voice at me.” His deep breath is shaky, finger right in your face. “I am out bustin’ my ass every goddamn day to keep this house,” he lies, but you know better than to say a word, “I am the one that keeps you alive, rather than lettin’ you go dancing out for any starvin’ cowboy that comes through here, or rottin’ out there in the desert, and you have the nerve to talk to me like that? Tell me I’m a bad father? Well, if you hadn’t noticed, I’m the only one you got left. Your momma is gone, so alls you have is me, and you will show me the respect I deserve for puttin’ up with you.”

It hurts like an iron ball swinging right into your chest, and a tear falls within seconds of his last words. There’s not a hint of remorse in his eyes, though you search desperately for it, for a whiff of love left for you in them, but they’re simply cold. For a moment, you feel empty. Defeated.

“Now get back down in that damn bar and you stay there till I tell you you can go. Wasted too much time already fixin’ one simple goddamn meal.” He sits down like he hadn’t just broken your heart, and you leave like you don’t have to clasp both hands over your face to quiet the sobs.

You pause at the bottom of the staircase, squatting before the door to the bar, hands still pressed over your mouth, muffling the sobs while the tears pour.

You’d had a feeling he hated you, but he hadn’t proven it until now. Your own flesh and blood, the one who created you, helped deliver you, name you, watched you grow. You really are nothing but a maid to him.

After a moment, deep breaths wash out between your fingers, brow now creased in near rage.

Fuck your father. Fuck this saloon. Fuck this passive girl you’ve become. You’d rather rot in the desert than rot in this town.

As you push open the door, slapping tears off your face, you place yourself behind the bar, and make a decision.

You’re leaving. Someway, somehow, you’re leaving.

—

The sun is mostly set by the time your father comes back down, heavy steps and a glare on you as he comes around the bar. “Supper.” Is all he says, and you clench your teeth as you rush around him and up the stairs.

You slam your way through the meal, teeth still clenched. But as soon as it’s done and a few slices of bread are shoved in your mouth, you’ll be gone out the window, on your way to Joel.

He is the only bit of warmth left in your world, your one clean breath of air, your one escape from this dead end life you’ve found yourself leading. The one thing that’s yours, untouched by the soot of your past. And he’s waiting for you, out in that barn.

Another thing you decided while standing behind that bar—you’re going to fuck Joel Miller.

—

Your hair is combed and blouse clean, jeans on just in case Petunia is on the docket tonight as you climb through your window. The sun has already set and air chilled, but you leave your coat in hopes of having Joel’s leather around your shoulders again.

There is the fact of simply missing that feeling, but the added bonus of getting that piece of his clothing out of the way. You are not one to woo people, you’ve got no real idea of how to do this properly, but you know clothes do come off. Your steps are swift, breaths deep and calming as you make your way to you and Joel’s new meeting spot.

The nerves last merely a moment more once he comes into view, his profile framed by moonlight as he leans against Petunia's stall. The air feels easier to breathe again, the weight falls from your shoulders, and your frame eases as you cross the threshold.

“Hi.” Is your simple greeting, a smile on your face.

“Evenin’, little lady,” he grows a smile back, coming off of the wall to meet you. “Almost thought you weren’t gonna show.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugs. “Well, thought you might’ve gotten your fill of me.”

“Gotten my fill?” You chuckle. “No.” You walk right up to him, smiling unabashedly. “Nowhere near it.”

“Well, good.” He replies after a moment. There’s only about a foot separating you, and you can tell that he feels it by the pause before he speaks again. “So, what do you want to do tonight, sweetheart?” By the smirk twisting his cheek, he must know what he’s doing when he calls you that.

But you raise him one, “Well, what would you like me to do?”

He lets out a quiet breath, and your heart applauds your brain for coming up for that one right before the red thing faints. “Well… you can do whatever you damn well please, darlin’,” he smiles lightly, a sight that’s become a good friend in and of itself, “but what would you like to do?”

Are you teasing me? “Well…” you clasp your hands, trying to find another thing to throw at him. I’d like to do you, is the first thing that comes to mind, but no way would you survive saying that right to his face. You take a small step forward, working on closing the gap as you think, smile tilted up at him. “I—” Before you can get anything more than that out, your lips are shut by his, having been grabbed up by his arm around your waist, his palm on your cheek, fingers in your hair.

After the most loathsomely short of moments, he pulls back, letting go of you completely and taking a few steps back. “Jesus, I’m sorry,” he rushes out, taking a breath, voice full of remorse.

“What?” You nearly stutter out, heart pounding so hard you can almost hear it in your ears.

“I’m sorry I—that was, damn I just fucked up just then,” he smooths his hand up his forehead and lowers his gaze to the floor, placing his hands on his hips.

“No, no,” you rush forward, almost pressing yourself back into him to find his eyes with your own. “Joel, I want you to kiss me, please,” it starts off fervent but falls back on sheepishness, almost quiet when you finish, “kiss me again,”

There’s a beat, and you watch his face as his lips part with a look you’ve never seen. His pupils, you find, are much bigger than they’ve been before. Your heart starts to sputter its pounds as you feel his hand, softer now, placed on your waist, and your eyes can’t help but fall closed as his other hand cups your cheek, gently, and then, just as gentle, finally, his lips press against yours.

It’s soft, and warm, and you feel the breath from his nose, and you’re so close, finally, and everything is warm and buzzing as your hands fall onto his arms, snaking up to his shoulders, grabbing at his lapel and curling into his hair. Another breath comes from his nose as his grip tightens in a way that tickles that spot between your legs, but then he pulls away, leaving only inches between your lips. You watch his eyes skip around your face, and you stare back, lost and amazed and hungry.

“You know how beautiful you are?” He asks in a whisper. There’s no telling how red you must be right now, especially once his fingers start to trail down your cheek, his eyes following his touch like he’s studying the details of your skin. “You might be the loveliest girl I’ve ever met.” You’re putty in his hands, few thoughts at all in your head as you simply stare back. “C’mere.” Joel whispers, like you’re not already in his arms, but then he brings you closer, crossing his arms around your back, and kisses you again.

This is the first time you’ve enjoyed a kiss—not that you’ve done all that much of it, but you always thought it was overrated, all wet and rushed and gross. Maybe just because it's only been with townie boys your age. But Joel knows what he’s doing. It’s leisurely, but not a second of it makes you think he’s not enjoying it just as much as you are. He tastes so good, and smells like leather and something else, and that something else on his tongue, too, you realize, is just him. It’s like nothing else. It tastes and smells like… home. At this sudden realization, you pull back slightly, but then you’re magnetized back to his lips, and Joel sweeps his hand through your hair, cupping the back of your head.

Stars are exploding in front of your closed eyes, his beard on your palm as it runs over his cheeks, the other gripping tight his jacket’s thick lapel, holding on like he might just slip away. You’ve never felt anything like this, not even close. It feels like everything you’ve ever wanted, somehow, all of that in your mind culminating into this one moment. Nothing has ever felt so right. If you’re not careful, you’re sure the words I love you would slip right out of your mouth. But if they were to right now, they’d be met with Joel’s tongue, and now there are very little thoughts in your head at all as his hand slides down, crossing over your back to grip your hip, pulling you ever closer to him, tongue twisting with yours. You’re melting into him, but all you want is to be closer—more, you want more of him. You want to know more, about him, how his body feels, how it… looks. How it’d feel against as you lay in bed on a lazy morning, and how it’d feel to dance with him, one hand in yours with your feet swinging in unison and him smiling down at you. You want to be a part of his life, and he yours. You want to be with him for the rest of your life.

He is all you can taste, all you can smell, but you can’t get enough of him, can’t touch enough of him. You grab at him, snaking your hands under his jacket, over his shoulder, up his neck and into his hair, cupping his cheek, pulling his face closer. But then he pulls away yet again, keeping his arms around you, but enough for a breath, and your eyes meet.

“Darlin’…” he whispers. “Have you got some extra time for me tonight?”

“Yes,” you reply, catching your breath in the process, eyes now on those lips, wet from yours. Yours.

My night is yours, Joel, I have all the time in the world for you, just for you. All my time, it’s yours. Please.

“You wanna, uh, come on—come on to where I’m stayin’?” His usual casual confidence is wafted by a sort of nervousness in his low tone, but all it does is make your heart beat faster.

“Yes.” You answer immediately, still a bit out of breath.

“I’m just over at uh—”

“Stowie’s?”

“Yeah, Stowie’s.” He breathes out a chuckle. “You sure do know this town by heart, huh?”

“Yeah.” You can’t quite muster a chuckle back, a bit out of sorts now. I want to know you by heart.

“Well, there’s a whole lot more you don’t know, honey.” He smiles, and you’re almost dizzy.

“Teach me?” You’re impressed by your own quip once again, but you have a feeling it’s not your brain talking anymore.

“It would be my pleasure.” He smiles, then kisses you again, short and punctuated by, “Anything you wanna know.”

I would like for you to teach me how to fuck. How to fuck you. How to be fucked by you. You don’t say any of this, of course, but your eyes must betray you, by the way he looks at you and then grabs your hand, leading you close behind him as he walks to the Inn. Once inside, he tips his hat at Winona, the owner, and you flash her a pleading smile, gratefully accepting a knowing smirk and small nod. She was the one who bothered to teach you about the birds and the bees in the first place; you could always count on Winona. But, once inside Joel’s room, all thoughts leave your head once again when his lips are immediately back on yours, but hungrier this time. His hands are on your hips, then sliding up your sides, and then pulling your body against his. You meet him easily with just as much hunger, it filling you as you pull and push against one another, almost tripping on each other's feet. His leather thuds on the ground, and then you know the game is on. The buttons on each of your shirts cause a mess of fingers between your bodies, all the while backing into the bed until the edge hits the back of Joel’s knees, and suddenly you’re on top of him, struggling to keep up with holding yourself up, his shirt, and the compulsion to maul his face. Joel seems to be having just as much trouble, and you feel suddenly like you’re just a couple of animals, tearing each other apart as the balloon of tension is finally popped, triggering a torrent of lust.

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j-esbian · 2 months

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the people i work with are going to drive me fucking insane

#mine #id in alt text #all of these are real things that have come up in the past week btw :)#today my one coworker was like ‘i can’t believe these mothers. 13-14 year old daughters wearing skimpy little swimsuits’#and i’m fed up at this point so i was just like ‘i have not gone swimming in 5+ years because i don’t own a swimsuit bc #it’s impossible to find one that covers your ass. they’re just picking from a limited set of options’#it’s the short shorts thing all over again except they don’t make plaid bermuda short swimsuits as your One Modest Alternative #same coworker. half an hour earlier. telling me a joke where the punchline was that a guy said his girlfriend beat him. can we be for real #different coworker. last week. texting me a Divine Feminine Girlpower quote abt how men don’t understand a woman’s relationship to her sewin #when like. this is a sewing job. where we have make coworkers. some of whom are legit pissed they get stuck working with theheavy machinery #head in hands. i hate it here sometimes lmao

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eddis-not-eeddis · 2 months

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It’s spring, and I look exceptionally cute in all my springy dresses and for WHAT?

#I go to the office and I go home #If I try to go anywhere my parents have aneurysms…at this point I kind of want to wander Detroit at night just to make them shut up about i #because surely after THAT visiting national parks would be easy to do without them throwing hissy fits…right #They don’t stop me #They just DON’T shut up about how incredibly dangerous visiting the library in an ever so slightly larger city 30 miles away is #Or how careful I need to be if I want to walk downtown to buy myself a smoothie #And it’s not like I’m actually being reckless #I am a careful person and I am always armed #But I do get incredibly fed up with their constant nagging #They keep pestering me to get married already and stand in the way of my doing anything that might facilitate my meeting someone #I am always in a state of “all dressed up and no place to go” and it’s very frustrating this year specially

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fingertipsmp3 · 5 months

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Had a dream last night that two of my best friends came to stay with me and also Mabel was alive 🥹

#we were all tucked up in my bed with me in the middle #every time i opened my eyes one of them was like ‘omg do you need anything??’#she tried to bring me an energy drink and a glass of water. and then turned on a tv i don’t have & put on a movie with the sound down #i ‘woke up’ still in the dream and one of them was gone so i went downstairs to make the other one a hot chocolate #it was a ridiculously complicated hot chocolate. it was like the luxury hot chocolates i used to make at work #and i look round and i see mabel standing at the kitchen door patiently waiting for her lunch and i’m like ‘MABEL. BABYYY’#so i tried to let her out the patio door but the key wasn’t in the patio door and also the garden gate was open #i couldn’t find the key and i was like ‘mabel must need to pee. like. she must’#i ended up putting her on a leash (she was deaf & senile & had zero recall so couldn’t be unleashed even on the driveway)#and we were about to walk down the driveway into the garden so she could pee there and then i was going to close the gate & try to find the #patio door key. i woke up before i could do any of this or finish making the hot chocolate #i was happy but also sad that i woke up. i miss my little mabel. i miss her face #at some other point in the dream i remember seeing her half asleep in her basket and i was just like 🥺🥺🥺#i just wanted to stand there and look at her because i knew she wasn’t supposed to be there and i wanted to enjoy however long i had #with her. and that’s something i don’t think i always did when she was alive. and the guilt eats me up #she was so loved. i loved her so much. but i wish i’d given her more. i wish i’d been less annoyed by her quirks #like how she could never be let off a lead and how she used to stare at me for hours even though she didn’t want anything (had been fed #recently; wouldn’t go for a walk or play with me if i tried; wasn’t receptive to attention)#if she came back for the day and all she wanted to do was stare into my soul i would be so happy. i feel so awful for ever being annoyed #by her habits. she just wanted to know where i was 😭#personal

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southislandwren · 2 years

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Oops the fam watched desolation of Smaug today and they waited until I got home to watch and I ended up sleeping through the entire thing :/

#in my defense. I worked a very busy market today after a very busy week and I’m exhausted #also it’s not that good of a movie imo. way too much cgi and there’s not enough content in the hobbit for 9 hours of movie #and I fell asleep on the couch and was there peacefully until the 6yo decided that I should wake up #so he started yelling my name and blowing raspberries. and I was already fed up from the 8yo loudly slurping on a ring pop. so I just left #these kids will learn one way or another that my patience is very thin and I will remove myself from any situation.#I want to enjoy my summer with them and bond and have a great time but I’m an introvert and I don’t really love kids #so I’m always on the edge of losing my cool with them #I’ve only snapped once and it was definitely a learning moment for them. which is a pretty good record bc I usually snap way more often #anyway. I took a 3 hour nap and now everyone is in bed but I’ll be up for a while and I’ll probably get hungry at some point #my whole sleep schedule is wrecked and I can’t fix it because when I need a nap I reeeally need to nap.#diary post #I want it to be Monday so I can see my boss again she’s like the light of my life rn #but I will gladly welcome a day off to just play video games and chill #(and not play with the kids. I will be sitting peacefully all day tomorrow)

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szkicel · 2 months

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Ok i’m scheduling some art I’ve done in the past while I work on new things and I remembered that Queen Bee (from h/lluva b/ss) redesign I did a year ago when a lot of ppl were doing it and it’s probably time to post it before it gets too old…

man, I am NOT excited for all the harassment I’m gonna endure from the unhinged HB fans, but hopefully I’m too small of an artist to get noticed so maybe i’ll be fine

#rambling #my posts #helluva boss critical #tagging it as such so ya won’t be able to complain that I „didn’t properly tag the hate” or sth #I had also a wip of ALMOST FINISHED 2nd redesign where I was basically just making my own take on the Beelzebub #that I can use outside of H//B f/nart (like I can easily put it in my game project)#but for some reason I never sat down to properly finish it bc the lineart was killing me #bc you see I used to do this very annoying thing where instead of drawing lineart on a seperate layer #I was just erasing and „sculpting” the messy sketch layer until it looked good #Which maybe would look good in a different brush but nah it was the default smooth brush #I thought this method would be faster bc „well at least i’m not drawing the lines from scratch”#but when you have messy sketches the cleaning up process gets very tedious very fast #so at some point I was just fed up and had a break that turned too long and by that point my artstyle #changed too much and I didn’t want to touch my old work; bc I like to preserve my progress #(which means no messing with works and wips that are older than a month)#anyway i’m getting off topic #so uh; i guess if you like redesigns you’re in for a treat #if not then well i hope we can resolve this diplomatically #and to anyone asking if i’m actually a fan of the show - no i’m not; it was a guilty pleasure to a certain point until it was unbearable #I really hate both h///b and h/////h so don’t ask me any opinions on them bc i’m gonna be very mean 😭😭😭#all i’m gonna say is my opinions aren’t groundbreaking or anything; i can’t really say what hasn’t already been said

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fairy-angel222 · 4 months

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𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐅 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

—in which toji is constantly fucking women and disturbing your peace. your complaints lead to you becoming one of them.

pairing: toji fushiguro x fem! college reader

cw: smut, breeding, daddy kink, size kink, age gap, toji being a cocky prick, unsafe sex, ass slapping, mentions of cervix touching

Ever since you heard about your next door neighbor Mr. Fushiguro going through a divorce, things have been hell. For you.

From the day he first moved into the apartment, constantly arguing on the phone with his ex wife about whose turn it was to watch his son, Megumi.

When Megumi is over, everything’s quiet, and you finally get a chance to rest your head and relax in peace. Doing some studying and cleaning in the quiet atmosphere.

You wished the black haired boy would stay for just a day longer, because Toji is back to his usual self hours later. Bringing in young college girls one after the other. Fucking them hard against his headboard as they let out loud cries of daddy. It was annoying. You could even stay inside anymore to get work done.

At every hour of the day he seemed to be active, fucking through all sorts of women, the shaking of your thin bedroom wall never coming to an end as high pitched moans echoed through.

It was getting to the point where you couldn’t take it. You were so fed up. Didn’t he ever get tired? Tired of promising these young desperate girls to call them back only to throw away their numbers and fuck their friends the next day.

Weeks go by and nothing changes, Megumi coming over for a silent three days then leaving again. Giving his father enough time to fuck any feelings for his ex wife out of his system.

You swore you couldn’t take it, you had barely been able to study, occasionally spending an hour or two in a nearby café between classes. When you noticed your grades slipping, your eyes having prominent bags at the lack of sleep, you groan loudly in frustration. Finding your legs moving before you could even process it.

Your fist raising to knock on the man’s door once, then twice, with no answer. You huffed, going in to knock a third time before the door swung open. A tall, muscular man towering over you with a scowl. “What?”

Your eyes widened as you scanned over his body, his perfectly sculpted face, broad shoulders, defined abs, and the very distinct outline in his sweats.

The man cleared his throat, a smirk gracing his face when he startled you out of your intense drooling. “Now, what do we have here?” he chuckled deeply, tilting his head to the side with crossed arms as he rested against the door’s frame. “Here to get your turn doll?”

You gulped, finding it harder to spit out your words as the Fushiguro man stared you down. “I.. I’m here to ask you to keep the noise down, some people have actual work to do.”

Toji whistled, “Oh? A bold one huh? I like it,” His hand reaching under your chin to make you look fully up at him. “you’re a pretty little thing you know,” he spoke, running his thumb along your bottom lip, “wonder what you’d look like ruined underneath me.”

You ignored the flutter that went off in your pussy, clenching your thighs discreetly as you glared. “Just keep the noise down okay old man? I'm trying to study.”

Toji could feel his cock grow harder, you were just what he needed. “So i’m an old man now? That’s a first, usually girls like you just call me daddy.” he shrugged, “but it’s okay, you’ll get there.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked away from him, annoyance written all over your face to mask the arousal swirling in your stomach. He’d probably fucked the entire neighborhood by now, including the campus, so you weren’t gonna fall for his sick charms. You just hoped he complied and kept the place quiet, you didn’t need that usual noise the day before your big test.

Toji had surprisingly did as you asked, and you sighed in content as you read through the pages of your notes. Your pen in your hand finding itself in between your teeth as you bit down softly. You got what you wanted, so why was your mind running wild with thoughts of the Fushiguro man’s hands on your body as he fucked you like all of those other girls.

You shifted in your seat, one leg over the other to bring stimulation to your needy clit making you whimper softly. You couldn’t let yourself give in.

Another week passed and you once again found yourself in the same noisy predicament. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the man more than twice your age. Way too old for you yet just so.. hot. Toji Fushiguro had become your fantasy.

And it was unbearable.

Hearing all these moans day and night. Hearing Toji’s loud grunts and groans as he no doubt left them with the best fuck of their lives.

It was Thursday, and Megumi would be coming tomorrow per routine, so you’d finally get a break then. But, you couldn’t deny the fact that you wanted an excuse to go over there. Your face serious as you banged on his door.

You waited a minute, a shirtless Toji emerging into the door frame as it flew open. Toji smirked, “Ah, you again.” His sweatpants hung dangerously low beneath the start of his v line, black hair messy as his tongue darted out to swipe across his lips. “Finally came to your senses?”

His last fuck had left right before you came, coincidentally of course.

“N-no.” you objected sternly. “I’m here to ask you again to just be.. what are yo-“

You swallowed hard when he began stalking towards you, a sinister grin on his face as you were backed up against a wall. His breath fanned your head as he bent his neck. Hands on the walls near each side of your face. “Your face says otherwise, doll.”

“No it d-doesn’t.. you’re just a cocky old man preventing me from getting things done.”

Toji’s brow raised with a deep hearty chuckle, “Back to that nickname i see,” His hand grabbing hold of your cheeks and squeezing them together. “Gonna have to clean that mouth of yours, teach you how to be a good girl.”

You whimpered lowly, feeling wetness pool between your legs as you looked up through your lashes. Toji’s eyes trailing to your glossy lips as he inhaled sharply. “Don’t worry, this dirty old man’s lips are clean”

Pressing his lips roughly to yours, your eyes widening as you gripped the edge of your skirt with a moan. Toji smirked against your lips, his hands hooking beneath your legs as he lifted you up. Your frame so much smaller in comparison to his larger one.

Toji was quick to bring you inside. And you found yourself sitting on the man’s lap, your skirt bunched up at your hips as he hammered up into your wet cunt with brute force. His hands kneading into the flesh of your ass each time you ground your hips onto him.

You let out a loud mewl, his thick cock stretching you out and grazing against your gummy walls as he fucked you deep. Feeling him within your stomach when you cried out. “Fushiguro-san— ah, so- ngh g-ood.”

“That’s not my name doll, try again.” he growled deeply, landing his palm onto your ass in a hard slap. And you whimpered tearfully at the sting. “T-toji—” Another harsh smack burning through your flesh making you let out a cry. “Last chance.”

You moaned loudly, your back arching as Toji slammed into you. “D-daddy, ahh daddy, o-oh fuckk—,”

Toji hummed in satisfaction, “Look at you, thought i was a dirty old man hmm?” His teeth biting softly at the delicate skin of your neck, his pelvis hitting your red puffy folds relentlessly. “Moaning for me like a little slut, so fucking pretty.”

You let out a shaky cry, “Haah— F-fushiguro-san,” Your pussy clenched down on his girth, his rough hand making its way around your throat, squeezing the sides and forcing you to look at him. “Not gonna fucking tell you again.”

You mewled, “‘M sorry— nngh,” Your back arching when Toji bullied his cock deeper into you.

“Still waiting doll.” he grunted, eyes dark as his grip on your throat tightened, your moans and whimpers loud as his thighs noisily met your sticky cunt. “D-addy— ahh- so good,” you cried, feeling his angry tip forcing its way to your cervix, kissing the entrance with each harsh thrust.

“Good fucking girl, you’re getting there” he grinned with a groan. A creamy ring formed around the base of his cock, your pussy gushing messily onto him as loud squelching sounds filled the room. “Pussy’s so fucking tight— better be on the pill cause i’m botta cum in that pretty pussy, shit.”

“Ah— nngh daddy, ‘m close- gonna cum.” you whimpered, your eyes rolling back and your lips parting in a string of incoherent babbles, Toji’s thrusts sloppy as he groaned.

“Gonna cum on this old man’s dick yeah?” He teased cockily, “Had so much talk for someone who’s falling apart on my cock.” Toji grunted, “Bet ya sat there listening like a lil perv, your hand down your panties hmm?”

You shook your head no with a cry, “Uh uh- ahh— wasn’t.”

“Sure about that? Sure you didn’t sit there and fantasize about me fucking you like a little slut?” His hand reached down to rub at your clit, a loud moan escaping your mouth.

Your breathing sped up as you felt a coil buildup in your stomach. Your body shaking with pure ecstasy. You let out a high pitched scream, the stimulation to your g spot making your head go fuzzy. Vision turning white as you clenched down tightly on Toji’s cock.

“O-oh fuck— ‘m cumming— ah, cumming daddy.” Toji’s hand pressed down harder on your throat, the pressure restricting your air flow making you let out a choked mewl. Tears welling in your eyes as his heavy balls smacked against your ass.

“Nngh—” The ring of white thickened at his base as you let out whiny cries. Toji’s hand working small circles on the sensitive bud before he brought his lips to your ear. His voice deep and gruff as he groaned. “Fuck doll- squeezing me so tight, come on and scream for me.” He breathed, “make a mess on my cock.”

Toji’s mean pace became too much, a tight pull in your stomach as your mouth fell open, legs trembling with loud cries as an unfamiliar feeling washed over you.

It was heavenly, your brain going dumb and your pupils disappearing behind heavy lids as you screamed loudly, head falling back and nails digging into his shoulders as you fell off the edge.

Toji never slowing the movement of his hips, still hammering up into you despite the mess you were making on his thighs. Your pussy spraying streams after streams of clear liquid as you arched your hips, grinding back and forth to ride out your squirting orgasm.

“Even fucking louder than any of my previous fucks.” he laughed, “Wonder what the neighbors would say, went from being a whiny little bitch to being the same thing you complained about.”

You let out a whine, Toji flipping you abruptly onto your back, his hand still around your neck as the position allowing him to hit even deeper. “Fuck,” he grunted, his words in between each thrust. “gonna fucking breed that pussy so deep.” Letting out a low groan at the last thrust, his lips meeting yours in a sloppy kiss as he bottomed out.

A whimper fell past your lips into his when you felt him fill you up, his cum shooting in hot thick spurts along the walls of your cunt.

He smirked as he pulled away, watching you pant heavily. “Would make such a good breeding bunny.” Dipping his fingers past your lips and resting them on the back of your tongue. “Might have to keep you around, can’t be disturbed if you’re the one making the noise now can you?”

You shook your head tiredly, forcing your eyes to stay open as Toji pulled out of you. His sticky cum seeping out of your fluttering pussy slowly. Your brain was still so clouded, blinking in and out of blurry vision.

Toji hid the smile threatening to creep up onto his face, his face neutral as he plopped down onto the couch next to you. “Rest if you need to, then leave.” He said nonchalantly, trying to seem like his usual self despite the fact that he had not kicked you out yet. Which was something he never did, let a girl stay any longer than a second after sex.

The man would never admit it, but there was just something about you.

He wanted to make you his pretty little doll.

#jjk smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk x reader smut #toji x reader smut #toji smut #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x you #jujutsu toji #jjk toji #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro smut

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fluffairy · 8 months

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it's been two years since I stopped talking to my ex-best-friend and she just started a podcast on neuroscience (????) and it keeps getting suggested to me on Instagram so I started listening to it and goddamn.... her voice took me right back, I miss her so much, I want to tell her how good it is, I want to tell her that I'm more capable now, I want to tell her that I have a real job and a car and I moved out and I've been to LA and Denver and worked at conferences and festivals and took a writing class and finished my novel........... idk that friendship was so messed up and rotten at its core but we DID spend 7 years as friends and I do miss her! A lot! and idk what to do!

#it constantly makes me laugh (and by laugh I mean cry) that the firm catalyst for why we stopped talking was bc I tried to start dating M #and she was fed up with hearing about it #I also haven't spoken to ANOTHER friend properly since then #so in addition to losing M as a friend from that scenario I also lost two other friends. I lost 3 friends just from trying to date someone #idk it just makes me think twice about ever trying to date anyone again lol I don't have a lot more friends to lose at this point #anyways I messaged her this morning to tell her I like it and she’s been active on insta since then and didn’t see it or respond 🫠🫠🫠#just give me a red nose and a pointy hat bc I’m just a Clown

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foldingfittedsheets · 5 months

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I worked retail for a long time and people really do treat you like shit sometimes. But between selling sex toys, mattresses, and jewelry I can say definitively I got treated worst selling mattresses.

All three of my jobs were in sales but selling sex toys we were allowed to put people in their place, and in jewelry people didn’t want to misbehave in a fancy setting. But people at the mattress store had no problem yelling at me, hitting on me, or insulting me to my face.

For a while I was managing my own store for the company. I ran a small location and had struggling employees placed with me for rehabilitation. If their numbers improved they could go back to bigger stores. If not, they got fired.

So this meant I was the manager of problem employees. At one point both of my people had a foot out the door. The company was going downhill and changed computer systems and they were fed up. Consequently, they made a ton of mistakes, because they just didn’t care about the job or learning the new systems.

I strolled into work on what was essentially my Monday to a shit show. Deliveries scheduled without product, wrong things on orders, poor expectations of the process, you name it. I spent the entire morning getting yelled at for mistakes that weren’t mine.

The final straw came when a man called furious that his moms bed for her nursing home had a delivery window he couldn’t accommodate. This wasn’t a huge disaster since we still had time to deliver it before she moved. I ran him through the options and he just kept screaming at me. Not for a solution but because I was there and he was frustrated.

My heart filled with malice and a cold fury. A calculating part of my brain had a realization in that moment that I could stay a punching bag or I could strike back.

I quavered my voice delicately, taking in a shaky, warbling breath like I was trying not to cry. “Sir,” I quivered through fake tears, “I don’t know what you want from me! I told you what I can do, I didn’t make this mistake I’m just trying to fix it!” My voice broke pitifully on the last syllables, sounding in all ways like a sweet innocent person being yelled at who’s just trying her best, really!

It was like I’d doused him with cold water. My emotional act was the realization that he was screaming at someone who was just doing their damn job, and he was being an asshole. He hastily made an excuse and hung up.

I had a third employee covering with me from another store that day who heard everything. When I hung up, I looked over to see them watching me with an awed expression. “Did… did you just pretend to cry?”

“I absolutely fucking did,” I said with feeling, “and I’d do it a thousand more times. If that’s what it takes for someone to realize they’re behaving like a fucking prick, they deserve it.” The employee looked at me like I was their hero.

The man called back, apologizing profusely, having magically arranged his schedule to accommodate delivery. He came in later that week with an apology Starbucks gift card. I was gracious in my acceptance.

I pulled it a few more times before leaving the company. I felt no shame in the ruse. If someone behaves so poorly that it’s plausible their behavior would drive someone to tears they deserve to feel absolutely wretched about it.

#ramblies #ffs foibles #story #retail #retail hell #I have had people over the years had qualms with the ruse #one person even told me it was so unprofessional #that I’d pretend to be in more distress was not nice of me. but getting yelled at is not nice and I’m in a position where I can’t yell back #and who would they complain to that I cried? would they go to corporate and say how unprofessional the lady cried when I screamed at her!

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ectoplasmer · 11 months

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hey. hey guess what monday is

#🫐 ; anniversary tag #collapses onto face #god i don’t even know what imm gonna do. i mean i do know but it’s just!!#it feels unreal i don’t know how else to describe it #they’ve gotten two years worth of rainy and they are still here and that is. everything to me #i’ve gotten two years worth of them and i’m still not fed up with them so/lh #kidding because by this point i genuinely don’t think i could ever get sick of them #annoyed maybe. frustrated sometimes. but i’ll never get tired of them just. being here. sticking with me for this long #i’ll have a whole post like i did last year where i ramble or whatever so i don’t wanna waste all those words here yet but #still so excited <3 i love them so much and i’m so glad i’ve gotten to do that for so long #these past two years haven’t even felt that long really…#mmffm anyway. hi ^^#reinstating that i am so excited and happy and agdjdhd #quartzshipping

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luvjunie · 1 year

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earth 42 miles reaction to reader hanging up the phone on his face mid argument?

— facetime

pairing: e-42!miles (aged up) x fem!reader

contains: arguing, minimal cursing, slightly toxic behavior lol

summary: you love miles, but his overbearing nature is beginning to irritate you. the two of you get into an argument over it on facetime, and you snap at him and hang up the phone. wc: 1,537

a/n: ik the pic might not make sense regarding who hung up on who, but i like it so we finna pretend it does lol. miles/reader are only aged up for plot

“look mami, you not hearin’ me. i’m not tryna control you, i’m just saying maybe it would be best if-“

“that is literally you trying to control me.”

you cut miles off from another one of his mini tangents as you stared at him through the facetime call on your screen, so far beyond the point of caring to hear the same thing he’d told you a million times.

you loved your boyfriend with everything in you. honestly, you did. but in the last few months he’d grown to be so much more controlling than he was in the beginning, a result of his ridiculous need to protect you and it’s got your head spinning on your shoulders. you couldn’t do anything without him looming over you, and you’re fed up. it was suffocating, and you needed him to know that you could handle yourself.

you heard his voice come in again from your phone’s speakers.

“aight fine, if that’s what you wanna think, then that’s cool. but i don’t want you going out that late, chiquita, simple. ain’t no discussion.”

“alright, bro.” you sighed, and he tutted at you.

“i’m not your ‘bro’. don’t do that.”

while you knew your boyfriend only wanted the best for you, you didn’t really understand the extent to all these rules he’d given you. like no going to the corner store at night, having to keep your location on at all times, or having to send a picture of yourself when you’d gotten back into the house— so he could really make sure it was actually you texting him from your phone.

since then, you’d deemed it safe to assume that he most likely had immense trust issues, and that was why he acted so strangely, because any other reason for this kind of behavior seemed ludicrous to you.

miles had yet to tell you he was the prowler, that certain people had bounties on his head, which included anyone who may be involved with him, anyone he holds close to him. he saw everything that went on in this city— when night had fallen and the streets became far too dangerous of a place for a defenseless girl like you to be out in them. you had no idea the kind of people he dealt with, the things he’d seen, the things he had to do. he just didn’t want you to get hurt, but he wasn’t the best at expressing the sincerity of his words, and they often came out too rough, too harsh. it was the best he could do, he was trying to communicate effectively, he really was. but time and time again you’d failed to try and understand his pleas past the words spoken to you; to actually listen to them, and comprehend them, and not just listen to respond.

so, being you, you retorted like the stubborn girl you always were. the stubborn girl he’d fallen so helplessly in love with and was only trying to protect with his entire being.

you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him in disbelief. “look, you can’t tell me what to do, miles. i can do what i want.”

he didn’t hear anything that came from your mouth, because the expression on your face had completely distracted him from the conversation at hand.

“hol’ on, did you just roll your eyes at me?” his brow raised, daring you to answer that question with anything but a ‘no’.

what you responded with wasn’t necessarily a ‘yes’ per sé, but it definitely wasn’t any better.

“oh, so you wanna control my face now, too? dictating what i do with my life or the shit i say isn’t enough for you?” you challenged.

his head dipped back as he laughed, a deep, provoked laugh— though the both of you knew nothing was funny, and that this was always how he reacted before he actually got angry. laughing it off was a means for him to screw his head back on right, as if a warning to you to not push him too far, because anybody who spoke to him with this kind of gall just had to be joking.

he exhaled heavily, a hand scrubbing down his face.

“can’t lie, you talkin’ mad crazy right now, ma. i think you need to cool it with that.” he warned, corners of his lips turned into a forewarning leer. “ima let that lil’ shit you just said slide, cause i love you, and ion wanna hurt your feelings, but we done talking about this.” he decided, leaning forward to prop his phone back up on his desk before scooping his playstation controller back up into his hands.

“and watch your mouth.”

chin retreating towards your chest, you were taken aback at how quickly he decided for the both of you that the conversation was over, as if you had to agree with him, as if things were decided simply because he’d said so. and somehow, you found it in all your unbridled nerve to make things worse.

“yeah, you’re right. we are.”

thumb pressing to the red X, you hung up the phone, leaving miles to gape at the black of his screen with shock etched into his features. he waited for you to call back and tell him it was an accident, and sat there for a minute, leg bouncing to maintain what little patience he’d managed to cling onto during this entire ordeal. he swallowed his pride and called you back, only for the screen to read ‘facetime unavailable’ after just two rings. you declined it. squaring his jaw, he calmly nodded to himself, phone snatched up, jacket thrown on and controller tossed onto his bed— game forgotten about.

“bet.”

____

you were fuming after you’d hung up the phone, steam probably would’ve been puffing from your ears if something like that were possible outside of the cartoons. there was a tiny part—no, a huge part of you that knew you shouldn’t have hung up on him like that; that regretted it. a part that knew miles’ was genuinely trying his best to speak to you calmly in the way he’d learned how, specifically for you, when calm was something he rarely ever felt. but you couldn’t help your anger either, and figured a break from the conversation, and a shower to calm you down would do the both of you some good.

you sauntered out your bathroom after about twenty minutes, a towel tightly wrapped round your damp torso and a heavy, depleted exhale departing from your lungs.

you felt relaxed. the heat of the water had washed away most, if not all of your anger towards the situation and you sighed to yourself, ready to come back to the discussion with a level head, and to apologize to your boyfriend for snapping at him and ending the call so abruptly. it was rude of you, and honestly you hadn’t thought it through until you had already—

“you know, ion usually fuck with cats like that, cause y’all kinda freak me out. but you cool.”

the inner dialogue of your thoughts were cut off by a familiar voice, muffled through the shut door of your bedroom.

“what the fuck—“ you hurriedly started towards the door, hand barely remaining on the doorknob for a second as you flung it open, to see none other than your boyfriend, miles, sat in your desk chair with your cat, bella, in his lap.

he was leaned back, his large green puffer jacket still on, legs spread in his grey sweats. he looked very comfortable for someone who had just broken into a home.

“how the hell did you get into my house, miles?”

you stared at him unbelievingly, quickly shutting the door behind you. he was in no rush to lift his head to address you directly as he scratched the underside of bella’s chin with his pointer finger.

“window. you should really lock that.”

“even if i had, you would’ve picked it.” you argued.

“true.”

his eyes eventually met yours, and they gave you a drawn out once over, gaze following the drops of water that rolled down your skin. there was a hint of a smirk on his lips, and he almost forgot what he came here for. almost.

you felt your face heat up, grip tightening over your bath towel as you shifted on your feet, suddenly feeling flustered from the boldness of his gaze. so he looked away.

“let’s hope that shower gave your mama some of her sense back, huh?” he dipped his head down to address your cat in a sweet voice, before gently lifting her off his lap and placing her back onto the floor, only for her to drag her head and body along his calf with a purr. traitor.

he leaned back once more, hands patiently clasped between his open legs and head cocked to the side, twin braids swishing behind him when he did so.

“so wassup? you wanna try that conversation again?” with a brow raised he studied your features, as if he were silently challenging you to talk that same shit you did over the phone to his face.

“do you know what boundaries are?”

“nah, not really.” he admitted.

you swallowed, gesturing towards the open room for a reason you didn’t know why.

“can i at least get dressed first?” you cringed at how your voice sounded when you spoke, but the way he was looking at you had your mind reeling and you could only focus on one thing at a time— the argument long forgotten. to be honest, you don’t even recall what you had a problem with.

he shrugged. “sure, if that’s what you’d like.” arms crossing over his chest he spun around in your swivel chair, now facing the same window he’d come in through. “lemme know when i can turn around.”

you sighed.

this boy was going to be the death of you.

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