#and i was trying so hard not to cry because i was getting upset about how things ended between me and now-former galpal
abby punishes you — dacraphylia, degradation, overstim +daddy terming🥰 (and aftercare)
゚+*:ꔫ:*﹤゚+*:ꔫ:*﹤゚+*:ꔫ:*﹤゚+*:ꔫ:*﹤゚+*:ꔫ:*﹤abby’s feeling carnal tonight. you’d been ovulating and it’s like she can tell, she sees how your breasts swell slightly, you’re wetter without her touching you. It’s like it wakes something in her as well, a deep desire to pull you close and feel you, really feel you. and fuck all she can think about is you in a pretty sundress, rucked up over your hips and her filling you until you’re leaking and -
“shit, honey, need you,” she groans as you come to straddle her, “come sit on my cock yeah?” abby whines, gripping your hips. she wants to wait, wants to let you take it slow but god she’s so fucking desperate. she can’t help lining you up - “need to fuck you,” she groans, her hips bucking as she brings you down on her strap. you yelp and lean forward to grip her shoulders, whining about the stretch.
“m’sorry baby, fuck— i wanna be gentle I jus’ need to fuck you. need to fill you up” she groans when you wind your hips, the strap pressing against her clit, she has to swallow hard and hold you still for a moment to stop herself from cumming, “baby hold on,” she whimpers, but you can hear the desperation veiled in abby’s breath so despite her weak efforts against it, you start to rock yourself on her, bounce and wind your hips until she’s whining, her hips bucking up, spurting some cum into you, “shit - baby, slow down m’gonna cum,” she heaves and your mouth gapes at the statement, hearing her so desperate for you — it makes you ride her harder, leaning over to kiss her as her hands squeeze your ass and then before she can help it, her boxers are wet with her cum.
she’s fucking pissed, she hates having an orgasm before you do and “you fucking know the rules,” abby groans and turns you over, “nasty little slut,” she tuts, hiking your legs up her shoulders, “you know what has to happen right baby?” you shake your head vigorously and abby smacks your cheek, her hips starting up a rough rhythm
“words,” she commands, her eyes darkening, you can see how much you’d upset her and yet there was a deep lust there, she wanted to punish you more than she cared about you actually breaking the rules. “fuck, m’sorry abby, just wanted to feel you,” you relent
abby smacks you again, “not my fucking name sweetheart,”
“m’sorry daddy!” you whine, your arms going to hold on to hers as she bucks and snaps her hips against you deep and slow, teasing you, the tip of her ridged strap rubbing on your gspot, she slows brutally groaning when you whine “no daddy please, please I’m sorry — fuck please not—“
abby pulls your wand from her drawer “shut the fuck up,” she leans over you, slapping and then puckering your cheeks “you know the fucking rules, and you broke them because you’re a dumb, desperate little slut.” she kissed your mouth
“so now you suffer the consequences,” she stills inside you and turns the wand on, pressing it to your clit and you swallow, already ready to cum, “please daddy,” you whimper, tears starting to pool in your eyes, “no, you cannot cum,” she sighs, watching how her strap disappears into your cunt, a wet creamy band forming around the base. “you broke daddy’s rules so now she has to punish you,” she cooes, a hand coming to your throat. her hips bucking slow.
“oh christ, please,” you know better than to try and move before she ties you up and ignores you completely. “no, you wanted to be my little cum dump, n now you have to wait for it honey,” she moans, removing the wand and smacking your clit until you’re crying.
“aw there’s my girl. so pathetic you’re fucking crying for it,” she sighs, her hips faltering at the sight of your tears, she can feel herself getting wetter and now she might let herself cum just to spite you.
“daddy, m’sorry — please please, shit! fuck please,” you beg and abby turns the the vibrator up one, pressing herself deep and stilling. “no god please daddy m’gonna cum I can’t,”
“yes you can, fucking hold it,” she grins when your eyes scrunch up and your mouth gapes, abby absent mindedly fills it with her fingers making you gag on them, “shit, look at you,” she grunts, “so pretty gagging on me, my dick filling your cunt,” you whine, your legs beginning to tremor and when abs starts to move again, her tip rubbing up against your gspot you yelp and start to spurt your cum onto abby as you cry, “fuck, m’sorry, sorry daddy — please please,” you cry and abby laughs, “shit, dumb little cunt so fuckin desperate you can’t even hold it,” she heaves, her chest tightening at the sight of you quivering, your pussy leaking around her strap.
“my sweet little angel, gonna make you cum until it hurts,” she cooes, circling your cunt with the wand and bucks harder and faster into you. “oh god, please slow down,” you yell, your nails scratching down abby’s back. and fuck, the feeling has her bucking into you harder, her own orgasm overtaking her as she smacks your clit until she’s filling you with cum.
you try this time to squirm away from her but she’s so strong. she manages to hold you down, pressing down over you and keeping the wand vibrating there, “I can’t I can’t,” you gasp, whimpering and sobbing into her neck, “m’sorry daddy,”
“shh, it’s okay honey, that’s okay — be good for me, just cum for me one more time, yeah?”
“no please daddy,” you whine, tears a river down your cheeks
“it’s okay sweetheart, be really dumb for me like i know you can and just cum, one more time for me,” you can’t help but scream, abby has to cover your mouth with her hand and immediately stops the want, pulling out slow and taking a moment to admire the cum from drips from you, “so perfect baby, did such a good job for me,” she moans.
abby lays beside you and pulls you in close, kissing your forehead, “you did so fucking well baby,” she kissed your eyelids, wiping your remaining tears.
“such a good girl, took the punishment so well,” she cooes,” rubbing your back and arms. “you’re my good girl you know that yeah?” she kisses your cheek. her chest tightening when you don’t respond.
“honey did I hurt you?” she asks gently, her hand on your cheek until she hears your snore softly,
“nuh-uh baby,” she kisses you awake, “need to know you’re okay,”
“I’m okay my love,” you whisper, cuddling into your chest, “you did perfect,” you kiss her cheek and Abby relaxes,
“you’re so good for me, you know that yeah?” you nod your head and abs starts to get up for a cloth to clean you with but she’s pulled closer by your right grip. “just a little longer,” you moan, and she relaxes into you, letting you cuddle into her chest.
tags: @lesbian-useless @sexysapphicshopowner @iamaboringrattat @sapphicsgirl @bimboprincezz
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“I’m here now, my deer”
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧
hi, this was requested so I hope you all like it! Not proof read
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧
This week was a rough week for you- there have been a lot of issues and chaos going on lately due to the extermination coming up lately. Auntie Charlie and vaggie have been running around and trying to figure out a plan. Uncle husk and big brother angel/ sir pentious have been making weapons and trying to build protection to help protect the hotel and you papa has been making sure things have been going ok and has been going to a lot of meetings with the overloads so you have been alone a lot this week. Heck you even got put in time out a few times because you were upset that no one was around and that your papa was missing.
Like he was there for a few small moments at a time, and he always put you to bed but you still missed him and wanted to spend more time with him. This wasn’t fair to you; you were just a small little baby. You shouldn't be alone; you should be in papa's arms while he sings you soft songs as he feeds you a bottle. But no, you were in your tiny room all by yourself.
It was in the late afternoon; the sun was beaming through the windows of your nursery, and you were in your crib. You had just woken up from your nap and you were not having it right now,
you had a dream where people were saying icky things to you and your Carrers just watched and didn't say anything. You had tears in your eyes that were soon running down your face, and you were whining as you held your blanky close to you. Before you could roll over and see you heard the door open
“Sweet pea...?” you heard a familiar voice say as they walked over to you. When you looked up you saw your papa, he smiled softly but you could tell in his eyes he looked a little worried for you. “What is wrong my dear...?” He asked as he gently picked you up from your crib, with your blanket around you. You tried to use your words however you couldn't, there had been to much going on and you couldn't bear it anymore, you just felt your tiny self-get to overwhelmed and started to cry into your papas shoulder.
“Now now my little deer what's the matter..?” he asked as he gently rubbed his hand over your back trying to calm down “Did you have a bad dream..?” he asked as he gently swayed with you. You nodded your tiny little head softly “Aw your poor thing.. Lets get you a bottle made..” he said as he gently carried you in his arms to the kitchen as he started to make you a bottle.
He gently fed you as he carried you back to your room and sat in the nursery. It stayed quite for awhile however once you were done he sat the bottle on a side table as gently rubbed your back as you laid on his chest “Why did you have a bad dream my little fawn?” he asked softly. Words were hard since you were small right now, so feeling bad you gently pointed at him. “Me..?” he asked softly as he tried to think about it. “Is it because ive been busy..?” he asked, and when you gave a small nod he felt horrible “I know ive been busy my little fawn... im so sorry i dont mean to be...it must be hard for you since its been so crazy..” You nodded again as a small sigh left your mouth.
“I promise i will try to be here more my little deer..” He said softly. “What would you like to do today my little fawn.. We can do anything you want to...” alastor said as he gently looked over to you. You bable softly in respone, a soft smile on alastors face as you do “Hm, that sounded like music, am i right?” he asked. You cooed at his answer which basically meant yes so with a smile he gently got you up and carried you to your changing table “ok baby fawn but you gotta get changed first, and then we can ok?”. You nodded softly as he changed you and put you in a onesie, then he grabbed your blanky, paci, and stuffie as he made his way to his raido tower. He opend the window softly as he went and sat in his chair as he turned on his raido which turned on soft lullubys for you as he gently swayed with you and your stuffie.
The night was peaceful as later made you dinner, read you books, and gave you a bubble bath, because no matter how busy he was, Alastor always made time for you, after all he was your papa, and you were his fawn.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧
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hihihi hruuu
Could you pretty please write something where megumi accidentally makes reader cry and then immediately feels bad abt it because I love megumi and I also love hurt/comfort
It's been awhile since I wrote anything for Fushiguro, so I hope I don't disappoint <3
Fushiguro x Reader, Hurt/Comfort
“No, I would never date them. They’re too annoying. Always so loud and clingy too. I would be exhausted just dealing with them.”
“Hey! Isn’t that a bit harsh? Even for you.”
Fushiguro merely rolled his eyes. What started as a meaningless conversation at a sleepover in your room quickly turned into gossiping. And, like any sleepover, love was in the air as Kugisaki and Itadori couldn’t help but to bring up the topic when you left to get more popcorn for the group.
“So, you’re telling me that you feel absolutely nothing for them?”
“Yeah, aren’t you two childhood friends?”
“They merely clung to me throughout school. Nothing more, nothing less.”
As for you? You were waiting behind the door, listening to everything. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it was your room after all. How were you supposed to know that your childhood best friend, the exact same person you had a long-time crush on, was telling your other friends how annoying you are and that a relationship between you two will be nonexistent from now and long into the future.
You stood behind the door, frozen in shock, as Fushiguro's words hit you like a ton of bricks. The popcorn in your hands suddenly felt heavy, and your heart sank as you realized that your feelings for him were not reciprocated. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away, not wanting your friends to see you upset.
Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself and walked back into the room, trying to act as if you hadn't heard anything. But the atmosphere had changed, and Fushiguro's words lingered in the air, casting a shadow over the rest of the night.
As the evening wore on, you tried to act normal, laughing at jokes and joining in the conversations. But inside, you were hurting, trying to come to terms with the fact that Fushiguro saw you only as a clingy childhood friend, nothing more.
Eventually, the sleepover came to an end, and your friends left, leaving you alone in your room. You sat on your bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling a mix of sadness and anger. How could Fushiguro say those things about you? Didn't he know how much you cared about him?
But deep down, you knew that you couldn't force someone to feel a certain way about you. You had to accept that Fushiguro didn't see you in the same light that you saw him. It was a painful realization, but one that you knew you had to come to terms with.
As you lay in bed, thoughts swirling in your head, you made a decision. You wouldn't let Fushiguro's words define you. You would continue to be the kind, caring person that you were, regardless of how he saw you. And maybe, just maybe, someday he would see you in a different light. But until then, you would focus on loving yourself and moving forward, even if it meant letting go of your feelings for him.
Though, you did worry about what tomorrow would bring…
The next day weighed heavily on your mind as you tried to push away thoughts of Fushiguro's words. You couldn't shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal, even though you knew deep down that he had the right to his own feelings.
As you went about your day, you couldn't help but notice the looks from your friends. They seemed to sense that something was off, but you brushed off their concerns with a forced smile. You didn't want to burden them with your feelings, especially when it seemed like they were already tiptoeing around you.
During classes, you found it hard to concentrate, your mind wandering back to the sleepover and the conversation you overheard. (You were also surprised that no one seemed to bother you, not even Gojo-sensei.) You wondered if Fushiguro regretted his words or if he even realized how much they had hurt you. But you pushed those thoughts away, knowing that dwelling on them would only make you feel worse.
After school and a short mission, you decided to take a walk to clear your head. The cool breeze and the sound of birds chirping provided some solace, and you found yourself reflecting on your friendship with Fushiguro. Despite everything, you knew that your bond was strong, and you hoped that it would endure this rough patch.
As you walked, you made a decision. You would confront Fushiguro and tell him how his words had made you feel. You didn't expect him to reciprocate your feelings, but you wanted him to know the impact of his words. You needed closure, even if it meant facing more pain.
When you arrived at your room, you found Fushiguro waiting for you outside your door, a solemn expression on his face. He looked like he had been waiting for this moment, and you knew that it was time to have a difficult conversation.
You had been distant and out of it all day, and Fushiguro noticed. As you approached your dorm room, he called out to you, his voice tinged with concern. As you had got closer you found that you didn’t have the courage to face him yet despite hiding how you felt really well so far.
"Can we talk?"
You ultimately decided to face him, and the concern in his eyes softened your resolve to run away. You nodded, silently inviting him to speak. But you didn't dare open you door. You didn't want to let him in there again. Not yet at least. Whatever he had to say can be done in the hallway (you just hoped Kugisaki wouldn't walk by...).
"You've been acting strange all day. Is everything okay?"
At his words, you finally felt your resolve break as the tears immediately started falling. One second you were fine, but the next moment your eyes felt wet, and seeing you break out into tears caused his eyes to widen, “What-“
"I overheard what you said last night, Fushiguro. About me being annoying and clingy. It really hurt,” your voice sounded shaky as you tried to speak.
“I-“
“I know I can be a bit much sometimes, but I really thought you were my friend, and to think that I- I actually loved you too.”
Fushiguro's expression fell, realizing the impact of his words.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“Then why did you say it.”
“I don’t like those two getting in my personal business, and, well, you already know what it’s like trying to get me to open up,” he smiled slightly, trying to make a joke as he nudged his foot with yours.
“Yeah, you’re an absolute ass sometimes.”
“Only sometimes.”
You frowned, but the tension between you had already started to dissipate, “you’re right, I meant all the time.”
Fushiguro squeezed your hand gently. "I'll try to be better. I value our friendship more than anything. Can you forgive me?"
You looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and regret there. Despite the hurt, you knew that Fushiguro was truly sorry. With a sigh, you nodded.
"I'll forgive you, Fushiguro. But please, don't ever say something like that again. It really hurt."
"I won't," Fushiguro promised. "I'll do whatever it takes to make it right."
As you stood there, holding hands with Fushiguro, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. You knew that healing would take time, but you also knew that your friendship with Fushiguro was strong enough to withstand this rough patch.
Not to mention that you knew that your feelings for Fushiguro were still there and that even though he didn’t quite acknowledge the fact that you said that you loved him, you were thankful. You didn’t want to be rejected after you just made up with him after all.
And who knows…maybe Fushiguro feels the same.
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OKAY, SO, I DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS ASKED THIS BUT- HCS of proposing to the yjs? Like, would they propose or would reader propose. Also, how they would do it dhhshdhan
lottie: FOR SUREEEE she would be the one proposing. i think she'd try sooo hard to be subtle, but you know in an instant because she's so fucking nervous 😭 also didn't hide the ring that well...it'd be on a trip to greece - idk the first thing that came to mind was a little sunset picnic by the beach near ur hotel, little makeout session which turns into her getting emotional and pulling out the ring. she'd go on a monologue for like 10 minutes about how lucky she is to have met you and be with you and wake up every day to kiss you :( I feel like she'd just love a quaint little wedding with all your guys' friends and some family. doesn't have to be huge but if that's something you want, shes more than happy to oblige.
jackie: YOU WOULD! her ass would be dropping hints that she's ready for marriage and would get SO excited when you make up the worst lie when you're going with shauna to go ring shopping LMFAO. you have to wait until she forgets about it because she's on edge Every Day. i think she'd LOVE the attention if you do it in public... telling her you wanna go on a simple walk and she starts to realize you're taking her to where you guys went on your first date :( proposing to her at the exact table you sat at too 😭😭 ohh she'd be a mess. it'd take her like 5 mins to stop crying and say yes.
shauna: she would!!!!! this is probably cliche and corny as hell but i can't stop thinking about her saying she bought you a book because it reminds her of you and when you open it, inside is a poem she wrote about how she feels about you :( she includes lines from her favorite books and at the end of poem is "please say yes." you're confused but she tells you to flip to the last page and there's a ring. she's holding her breath for what seems like forever until you say yes and shes so happy :(( tbh i can see her just wanting to get married secretly and the girls finding out about it when they see that huge ass ring she got you.
nat: you'd propose. but i could also see her being kind of upset she can't afford an actual ring for you so she gets you like a ring from one of those quarter machines or some shit 😖😭 but its soo sweeet. she actually pours her little heart out and maybe cries a little...(she'll kill u if u mention this to anyone) but as for you, a simple dinner proposal is just fine. doesn't even have to be fancy - it could be a pizza shop you two frequent a lot and she'd be content. you'd do it in such a cheesy (no pun intended) way tho 😭 "accidentally" dropping your fork and asking her to pick it up for you and when she's bent down, that's where you place the ring on her plate. she scoffs but she's so enamored >__< will also flaunt that ring like there's no tomorrow!!!!
taissa: she would :P she told you very early on in ur relationship that you shouldn't even THINK about proposing because she's gonna be the one to do it. im such a sucker for halloween/christmas themed proposals so im imagining her doing it with christmas lights and ur too busy staring at how pretty she looks to notice the letters spelling out something when you help her put them up. thinking of the word "you" not lighting up properly so it just spells out "will marry me?" and you're like HUH!!!!! but ofc you say yes, and she gets you the most jaw-droppingly gorgeous ring ever that matches with a necklace she bought for herself :(
van: they would!!!! im obsessed with the idea of them doing it in a movie theater 😭 using their connections to have it display "y/n, will you marry me?" during the end credits of a movie you went to go see. and you HATE staying for the credits, so it takes a Lot of begging from van to get you to sit ur ass back down. the lights turning into a warm red color and van's VIBRATING beside you with a huge grin on their face as their message pops up. Trust that the ring box would be themed to fit your guys' favorite movie like the little nerd they are.
misty: oh, she would...if it was acceptable, she would've proposed one week into your relationship. caligula would 100% be involved. when you arrive at misty's house, caligula is carrying a note in her beak telling you to meet misty at the park. you walk around with her for a while and feed the ducks with her until she takes you by this totally not suspicious guy who's playing romantic songs on his guitar, which definitely sounds like ur favorite song....she gets down on her knees dramatically before proposing 😭
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Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 21
chapter 36:
1. “It's been so long. Oh, there you are, here you are, hi,” *deep breath* AHHHHHHHHH
2. 😭😭😭 “Remus keeps a firm grip on him and turns around to promptly leave, which is probably a little rude, considering that the others are here and may wish to greet him, but he honestly can't bring himself to care about that right now” i would expect nothing less
3. WOLFSTAR REUNION!!!! I AM IN SHAMBLES!
4. “On the way, James glances back with a grin, internally wishing Sirius all the good things, because no one deserves them more.”
oh. wow. that’s such a soft line. it’s literally making me melt
5. “Remus could not be more in love if he tried.” shit shit shit shit sobbing. wolfstar deserves the world
6. “He does love Sirius, though. Loves him dearly, with every defiant bone in his body. This man, who doesn't even realize the importance of what he's just done by giving Remus an unopened envelope. Remus, who owns nothing. Remus, who has nothing. Remus, who is not granted privacy or freedom for anything like this, for anything at all.”
i am on PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION and i am BAWLING my eyes out as silently as i possibly can. y’all don’t understand the restraint i have right now to not loudly sob
7. the LETTER has me CRYING
8. THE SECRET MESSAGE
9. oh, okay. remus killed an auror/greyback. it’s honestly not as bad as i thought it would be. also, i love the lily and remus duo. they’re so iconic
10. i LOVE LOVE LOVE that zar made a point for sirius to have the discussion that his demisexuality is NOT because of trauma and he’s always been that way. it’s beautiful <3
11. “”You can ask Regulus and James; I walked around for a solid month making everyone call me Mr. Sirius Macdonald."” STOP PLSS THATS SO FUNNY
12. SIRIUS JUST TOLD REMUS HE LOVED HIM!!! this is literally so sweet
13. andjskjdksksjsms the authors note:
“sirius, internally: a guillotine could not sever the head im about to give this man. good for them 😌”
chapter 37:
1. i’m starting a gofundme to get regulus a balcony
2. "”Sirius doesn't let me drink," James replies flatly.
"Well, don't say it like that, James. You make it sound like I'm a strict parent, or a controlling spouse," Sirius grumbles. "And I do let you drink, in moderation, when you're in a safe environment and in a good mental state. Don't forget to mention that you only let me drink within those same rules."”
i bet james is upset with the rules he made for sirius so long ago. came back to bite him in the ass
3. describing sirius as “ruffled like an offended bird” has done wonders for my mental health
4. james, remus, and sirius are all hanging out and i am beyond angry that peter doesn’t get to share this moment
5. pandora is such an angel and doesn’t deserve this pain
6. pandora and reg friendship >>>>>>>>>
7. their outfits for the night!! every last one of them is slaying so hard
8. “There's a tense moment where a group of murderers all stare around at each other, not opposed to adding a few more names to their lists. Oh, and Pandora is there, too, startlingly calm despite this.”
yaxley needs to shut his fucking mouth and stop implying that sirius will fuck his way through issues
9. “"You know what they'll assume we're doing."
"Running away," Regulus mutters.
James sighs in exasperation and fond amusement. "No, Reg. Fucking. They'll assume we've snuck off to find a corner to go fuck in."”
😭😭😭😭😭 i love reg. he’s so ready to leave
10. jegulus is getting their shit together and improving. i’m so glad
11. “James swallows. "They're—they destroy things now, when they never did before. They're rough sometimes. Bloody."
"Warm," Regulus counters, pressing another kiss to James' shaking fingers. "Steady. Strong. These hands hold the people you love. These hands care for them. They're gentle. Tender."”
this is love. what they have is love. it’s messy and broken and so difficult, but they’re trying and it’s love
12. and once again we have wolfstar my true loves ☺️☺️
i feel like nows a good time to add to respect bizzarestars’ wishes to not have the fic reposted or reuploaded a different site. i can’t remember his wishes about bookbinding, but respect those as well.
thank you, lovely people
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Can I please request hcs for Loki x reader who experience nightmares? And maybe how he would react and help the reader ? :)
Loki x reader who has nightmares
It was something you were genuinely anxious about and made you rethink spending the night a million times
But all that needed to be dealt with since you were already moving in with him in the averagers compound
The first few nights were fine and you slept most of the night without any upsetting dreams
Then fourth night rolled, you were extra tired and went to bed early, the dream was suffocating and you felt like you couldn’t scream or that anyone can help you
You only woke up when Loki shook you awake, your eyes were watery and your body shaken
"It’s ok it’s ok, it’s only a bad dream"
You wanted to cry, because wtf is wrong with you?! You just had to ruin his this streak
Loki could tell you were still upset about the whole thing because the next night you offered to sleep somewhere else to not disturb him but he wouldn’t allow
You still had nightmares that night but he held you and did the same as the night before, caressed your head and let you calm down
The feeling of shame was something hard to get rid off but Loki was willing to help you not feel in such way
"I don’t know why they wouldn’t stop…I’m so sorry" "don’t be daft, you can not control your dreams"
He shares his own experience with nightmares, he explains how he used to wake up drenched in sweat and screaming
"We can try some things to calm you down, if it makes you feel better" 
"That would be…nice, thank you"
Loki introduced you to old Asgardian herbs, they calm your nerves and they tasted nice in the form of tea or you’ll add them to cakes and have it as a snack
You slept better, you still had nightmares but they were less aggressive
He rubbed your shoulders before bed with some oils and basically lulu you to sleep
Loki had his fair share of them too but he always woke up and looked down at you then sighed, he will curl up by your side and fall back to sleep
Also you wouldn’t know this but he places calming charms all over the bed
"I don’t think I’ve had this much peaceful sleep since I was like…forever?"
"Don’t think about it, I’m pleased to see my dove happy and well rested"
"Truly my knight in dark armor" "thank you for acknowledging my aesthetic"
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idk how it would happen but I imagine ven meeting his younger selves and they’re both so different. But the same. But different
he meets the one stuck in the desert with no memories and immediately almost gets his head cut off, just because — for ease of reading, he’ll refer to himself as Ven and the younger one as Ventus and the youngest one… Little Ven. Look, he never said he was that creative, and they like their name — because he startled him. He doesn’t remember the badlands that well, but he does remember how jumpy it made him. That’s still… there.
anyways he almost gets his head cut off because Ventus hears someone’s big metal shoes behind him and whips around, keyblade in hand, and Ven backs out of the way with his hands up and an eep! and puts a lid on the instinct to summon his own keyblade. Ventus’ face gives away his emotions pretty much instantly, which it doesn’t do so much anymore, but it goes fear-anger-confusion-VERYconfusion-fearagain-curiosity-confusion-bigshowyhuffyface. Like a kitten making itself look bigger. Ven tries to make himself look smaller, or at least non threatening. Or at least not like an evil future version of himself come to end his bloodline here and now. Would you believe he had that irrational fear every once in a while he’d make some kind of dumb mistake and go ah, I hope this doesn’t have universal consequences i feel the repercussions of via someone smarter than me coming to tell me off! which, I mean it’s not The Most irrational. Time travel exists. He’s doing… it(???). Ventus seems to settle somewhere between genuine curiosity and cornered kitten.
“Who are you?”
Wow his voice is higher! It dropped pretty late. Mostly while he was training here, so he never really had the embarrassed-by-voice-cracking thing Aqua told him about with Terra, he was worried about other things. And his hair is so much scruffier, and his skin is dry-looking, he doesn’t remember taking care of himself very well out here. There’s nothing here, really. Has Ventus eaten? Today? Should he have brought the conchas from the kitchen. Is that an open cut on his arm? That’s blood. That’s bad. Ven’s been forgetting to speak and just looking at his younger self which is not helping his nerves, he doesn’t think. “Uh… you? Older you! We’re in a dream, sort of, I think.”
probably not the right thing to say, even though ven’s not sure what WOULD be the right thing to say. That was about the most succinct he could make it. Ventus’ eyes narrow, and he drops the curiosity, and Ven knows what just happened, he thinks this is a test now. It’s absurd enough to not be real, and it must be illusion magic. Ventus spins his keyblade behind him and lowers his stance (still kinda sloppy, the Master was always— Xehanort was always on him about it even though apparently holding a keyblade backwards was fine). “Bullcrap,” he spits.
“Language!” Ven scolds, feeling the spirit of Aqua fill him. Ventus is too nervous to say anything more than “crap” though, which is kind of cute but weird to think about now that he’s still nervous around adults but swears like a sailor around, like, Roxas.
“Either leave me alone or fight!”
“I don’t wanna—“ And then Ventus jabs at him, his patience for the test spent. The faster he passes, the faster he can go sit down and the less of a chance he gets hurt. Ven dodge rolls out of the way once, twice, threefourtimes, getting ten pounds of dust down his shirt. He never liked this feeling. Dust stuck to his skin. Ventus gets more and more frustrated with every miss, starting to make angry growls when he does, and snaps out a strike raid, which misses, and it misses on the way back, but Ven is busy righting himself from where it missed and Ventus gets a heavy slash in right on his knuckles, which stings.
Ven recoils, and Ventus sees the real actual blood on his knuckles and the teeth of Wayward Wind and his eyes blow wide. Almost immediately, he drops his keyblade and backs away, hugging his arms to his chest and turtling in his jacket. “Oh— sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry! I messed up.”
“it’s okay! It’s okay, it’s fine,” Ven reassures him, really really wanting to stop hearing himself over-apologize. He quickly, telegraphing his moves because he knows how bad this could look, summons his keyblade and casts a quick Cure. The wound vanishes, even though it’s gonna leave a bruise anyways. Ven shows his arm. “See? Totally fine.”
Ventus doesn’t move towards him, but un-turtles slightly. His eyes linger on Ven’s hand — fine. Like he said — to the space his, their keyblade was just summoned, the one he’s holding his version of. To his face, which is pretty similar, though Ventus hasn’t looked at himself in a mirror in a while. To his outstretched arm, and the thin scars over it, and his own scrawny arm, dried blood still shiny over a thin but deep cut.
Ven follows his gaze. “Can I see that?” he asks, gently.
Ventus slowly, very deliberately shuffles his way over and gives up his arm to be looked at. Ven takes it — Ventus almost flinches when he touches him, totally real and corporeal and warm and stuff — and once again casts Cure, this time a Curaga just to cover anything he might not be showing him. Ven used to do that, before he knew what he was doing but after he was too floaty to know what he was doing at all, he’d just not tell anyone he was uncomfortable. It felt shaky and bad to verbalize, and it took Terra specifically a long time to teach him that no was a good word and I made a mistake was not the end of the world. Ven’s not gonna be able to teach the younger version of himself that whole thing in a few hours. But y’know — at least he can be nice.
Ventus studies the spot on his arm that he cured. It’s going to scar because he didn’t get to it on time, but he knew that, and Ventus figures that out, his stare moving to the same scar on Ven’s forearm. And the rest of them. Some the same, some came later. He is not, pointedly, removing his arm from Ven’s hands.
Ventus’ voice is tentative and scratchy. “Why’re you here?”
“Um,” Ven says, elegantly. “I’m not sure.”
”That’s dumb,” Ventus huffs.
“Hey.”
“Sorry. Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Ven says, gesturing for his other hand. Ventus hesitates — fear-worry-want, his face is like an open book — and gives it to him, finally desummoning his keyblade. “Do you not know Cure yet?”
Ventus scowls again. “Shouldn’t you remember? No.”
Ven shakes his head. “I don’t remember when we learned it. I thought it was before this.”
“I don��t remember anything before this.” Ventus, despite curling forwards into the touch he’s being given, somehow scowls even deeper.
Ven kneels. “And I don’t remember being so angry,” he says, softly. “We don’t get much better at the memory thing in the future.”
“Oh.” Ventus keeps standing. “Do—“ he bites his lip.
“Do what?”
“Do we… do we get better at — you’re … I’m… mad. I don’t like— You don’t look— Do we— nevermind, sorry. It’s nothing.”
“We get happier,” Ven says, something inside him crumbling. “We do, we get friends, even.”
Ventus’ eyes widen, not looking at him. “Here?”
“No, not here. It… it’s a long story. But I promise it gets better.” Ven doesn’t like looking at this. He spent so long not thinking about it — on purpose, not thinking about it, ever since he woke up in the Land of Departure “thinking about it” was more of a phrase that meant shaky, scattered flashes of memory and sharp copper smells and waking up with his heart in his throat and his muscles trying to scatter out of existence or hearing a metal fixture drop to the floor with a loud clang! and suddenly he couldn’t hear anything except ringing and it was all, an abstract cocktail of not good that he never untangled and avoided like the plague — that… making it real, seeing himself just exist in a terrible place while nothing happens to him like those flashes of memory, it makes it real. And it breaks something inside him, something really small but gummed up because before this he had a layer of detachment from the whole thing, and he almost wants to cry. Ven knows now that he didn’t deserve this and it was stupid and horrible and he should have just had friends who loved him this whole time because it’s possible and he’s a likeable person and he has good to give and love to receive. But Ventus doesn’t know that yet, and he sure won’t believe it until it happens. He remembers not believing it. He remembers thinking it wouldn’t ever get better, and how much better it feels now that it has, and — oh, okay he is crying cool. Ventus looks at him like he’s grown a second head, all confusion and worry and tentative digging inside himself to see what he should do.
“Do… um. Do you want a hug?” Ventus asks nervously.
Ven nods. Ventus’ arms curl around Ven’s back, all thin shaky noodles and no muscles and fewer scars and not used to doing this. Not too hard — he doesn’t want to weird him out — Ven hugs back as best he can. He learned how to give pretty stellar hugs from his friends. He hopes Ventus can feel it.
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I feel like such a broken fucking person lol
I talked way too much in the tags don't read them
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the past few days have been wonderful 😍
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I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again
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me internally when i’m trying to respect and recognise that my dad has unaddressed autism that impacts the way he handles social interractions while also trying to not just excuse the shitty insensitive behaviour that has absolutely contributed to my mental health issues
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as of rn the general november vibe is “if you want to keep talking to me then you have to do so first because unless you’re one of maybe ten people (and that’s being generous with the number) I do not think you want to hear from me” so if you DO want to hear from me then you have to make that known, otherwise idk, we’ll see
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how do people's hyperfixations last so long, even years.... last time i had one longer than max. 3 months was FOUR!!!! FUCKING!!! YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
(minor rant in tags)
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tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(
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wanting to be upset at someone but also rationalizing all of their actions because they have a huge smattering of trauma, emotional processing problems, adhd, and severe anxiety... sucks ass.
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Shoutout to the lovely man who timidly approached me and said in shaky English I looked as beautiful as the statues in the art gallery when I was on the verge of bursting into tears earlier today
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