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etherylelixyr · 17 days

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Fucccckkkkk (the feels man)

#idk leaving texts for X so they see them in the morning #and i wanna tell them everything #i wanna tell them that im sorry for basically becoming a ghost of myself for 2 years and ignorning them and only hanging out with V #on the outside everything looked perfect but it was so mutually toxic and destructive but we revelled in the self destruction and pain #and it was our secret. fueling our habits and shutting everyone else out #we were both so depressed but the high from it all was worth it... at the time #looking back i feel sad for that-era us #that-era me #i left all the people who truly wanted the best for me. who were my closest friends. who loved me more than i loved them...#now im back. officially. no more of this self destructive sad mess of a ghost creature.#but i cant change the past...#i still left X for so long without an explanation. and it looks like i chose someone else over them. i wish i could explain to them #that it's not like that.#i didnt have a choice... it all just sort of swallowed me...#i felt so lost and so dead.#but now im ok.#we were talking about Who Is most Likely To in the new friend group.. and one of the questions was Likely to Change their Personality #and X turned to me and went. well Elixyr has known me long enough to see that happen-#and yeah ive known them waaay longer than any of their current friends.#and yeah. theyve changed. and so have i.#but the change wasnt some edgy Change my Entire Personality thing. it was just... becoming less mentally ill... and sad...#and trying to be a better n happier person #but theyre still sad... and i wish they werent. i wish i was around before to make them happy... fuck i hate past me.#sometimes we talk and i realise just how much theu push all of it down. they tell me about how theu want to drink themselves to sleep a lot #and thats... worrying...#and i wish i were a better friend. i wish i knew how to comfort them better. they dont understand why i care so much about them #and i want to hug them and tell them that im so sorry. i feel so guilty that i might have added to their lack of self worth #and im a massive hypocrite. i tell them that theyre not responsible for other peoples feelings and to not think about it like that.#i wanna tell them that no matter how much they think theyve changed. theyre still the same person i loved since the start.#but they'd take that the wrong way... i wanna tell them that it's them. it'll always be them. and im sorry.

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christakisbang · 1 year

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Stray Kids [INTRO "★★★★★ (5-STAR)"]

#stray kids #staysource #bang chan #lee know #minchan #lee minho #stray kids gifs #skz #skz gifs #my gifs #ugh. i care them sm and i was soo happy when this part came on bc yes!! tell him!!!!!! he should know how good he is and how he just keeps #getting better and better. he works soo hard and it Shows in how incredible he is in everything #i dont wanna talk about the last gif either i could not match the coloring pls overlook it ty

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needle-noggins · 3 months

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Where do your roots start

And where do your roots end?

Something about seeing only the worst of yourself in the mirror. Something violent and terrifying, but knowing you only grew that violence in response to violence against you. Knowing your power comes from a place of trauma, something you don’t remember but wish had never happened. But it did, and here you are. There’s something new in you that isn’t the you that you understand and you wish it wasn’t but it is. Violence begets violence and you are unable to control what grows from the seeds that were planted. So you have to live with it and try not to let that violence spread.

You’ve already failed once.

And you see it every time you look in the damn mirror.

—

For Body Horror Week’s final day, prompt: Roots by In This Moment

#I was going to write a longer Drabble but holy shit Judas’s fic got me Shrimped good and instead I will refer everyone to that #Sav art #trigunbodyhorrorweek #vash the stampede #trigun stampede #tristamp #I’m REALLY proud of this I worked SUPER HARD ON IT #the roots and the flowers were so fucking annoying #but my favorite part is vash’s neck I wanna smooch it and tell him everything’s okay yaknow #also like same recognize same mirrors are evil and I hate them #I also love to give Eriks a lil ponytail as a treat

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xenomorphicdna · 7 months

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On the string propaganda

Heeellll yeah

Bestie is an entire PLACE

I look at those guys and let me tell you the soul of that thing ain't just in the puppet, it's in all the neurons carrying the thoughts and emotions, it's in the power rails that serve as the heart. All the memories in the memory conflux and all the numbers we see flicker across displays, the flux condensers, the puppet; a little avatar.

No way these massive machines see life the same way we do. They have their own experiences and senses and things they hold dear. A world we can't imagine, a way of living we couldn't even comprehend.

I could never tear an iterator apart to be just a puppet. Who am I to decide how's life supposed to be enjoyed or perceived?

You treat your creechurs however you want- I ain't gonna dictate that. But damn, hearing the thrums and buzzes of the linear systems rail? They are alive with so much power, these mechanical beasts are exactly what they should be.

#sorry im just a really passionate on the string believer #you cant tell me that these massive structures kilometers wide capable of things we cant even image would look at something thats #thats comparable to a speck of dust and be like #yes i would like to rid myself of practically my entire body to be that tiny #this aint no “if i were a supercomputer i'd be sad i couldnt see the sky like i do now”#thats only because you have something to compare it to #if i were to suddenly loose everything to be just some microscopic creature i'd be miserable but only because i know what im loosing #id be loosing the ability to think like i do now id be loosing the ability to enjoy the things i do now #i dont know what life is like as a microscopic creature but i wouldnt be willing to give up my life as i know it now #and i think with iterators are the same #just how different is their life from ours and what things can they see that we are missing out on?#give up everything comfortable and known and for what??#to feel the sun? they absolutely have various temperature sensors #see the sky? those overseers were made to see things those visuals are in 4k #other animal comforts?? what about computer comforts??#what makes a lil creature happy may not necessary make a massive supercomputer happy #sorry big rant in the tags um just wanna say this is no hate to anyone who wants their creatures off the string #these are fictional beings and you do whatever makes you happy take them off the string set them loose yess enjoy little robots running #around be happy i love reading ya alls off the string shenanigans #rain world #iterator #drawins #oc veil of dreams #rw talk #rain world oc #iterator oc

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mrsfitzgerald · 1 year

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07.06.23. 💔 (x)

#rammstein #christoph schneider #this is broke my heart #I've never seen them like this.#hope till is happy *sarcasm*#this is awful #i wanna hug them and tell that everything will be okay #my ramm gifs #stadium tour 23

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whereismyhat5678 · 7 months

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Okay, so I watched Digital Circus FINALLY because I have been seeing it EVERYWHERE-

I thunk to myself, why not give it a shot 🤷‍♀️

…

I FUCKING LOVE CAINE AND POMNI

Caine mostly since he’s.. like the PERFECT sociopath there is and HIS DESGIN- I’M DEAD FOR THIS MAN-

But I also have to give credit where it’s due, I LOVE POMNI 💖💖💖💖💖

SHE DESERVES THE WORLD- Poor thing is terrified out her mind I NEED TO HUG HER STAT- SHE NEEDS A HUG ASAP 🫰🫰

Anyways, I’m gonna draw Caine soon (I still need to learn how to draw him-) but for now you can have this adorable ass jester Pomni 😌

AND

Because we’re talking about a very anxiety written clown that may have a panic attack at any given second- LETS PAIR HER WITH ANOTHER ANXIETY WRITTEN CLOWN THAT MAY HAVE A PANIC ATTACK AT ANY GIVEN SECOND-

They both need hugs, they both need comfort, but MOST OF ALL, they need each other 🤝

#Pizza Tower #Digital Circus #I ain’t never had as much fun staying up late to finish a few doodles than I did with this one-#The colored ones I stayed up WAYto late to do and I didn’t even end up finishing them-#It was still fun though 🤷‍♀️#Also noticed a pattern of me drawing characters that are just really nervous all the the time with eyes close together #I don’t know what to tell ya’ except it’s way to much fun-#Pomni #Peppino #Peppino and Pomni #Crossover #I desperately wanna hug this poor jester and tell her everything’s gonna be alright #This poor poor woman #💔

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numbuh424 · 5 months

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Please hear me out..... Jdrama!Light and Musical!L.

#I just think they're so neat they're my fave L and Light #everyone please tell me your favorite L and Light and explain why I'm so curious I wanna know #death note #death note drama #death note jdrama #death note musical #light yagami #l lawliet #masataka kubota #teppei koike #masataka is my favorite light because he's such a standout among the other lights his portrayal was so real and terrifying at times #koike is my favorite L because he just.... feels so much like L.... I've long since loved his L but I'm watching the 2017 for the first tim #and Everything about him is just. perfect. that's literally L like what the fuck #it's a fun activity just imagining different L and Light combinations because honestly a lot of them have different dynamics #so when you mix and match them it's almost guaranteed they would react to each other differently #jdrama lawlight and musical lawlight are pretty different and jmovie lawlight is too #I think animanga lawlight would have the biggest beef with their jdrama counterparts and it's extremely funny to imagine #fun science experiment #now everyone tell me your favorite combinations please

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citricacidprince · 8 months

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Thinking about Psychonauts and how much I love the Aquato family once again

They mean the world to me your honor

#They are a strange little family with so many issues and generational trauma and YET they still LOVE EACHOTHER #DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO ME???#Nona; Augustus; Donatella; Dion; Frazie; Rasputin; Mirtala; Queepie-#I love you all and I owe you my life #DION AND DONATELLA ESPECIALLY; Y’ALL GET SO MUCH HATE FOR HAVING UNDERSTANDABLE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL :(#Aquatos get behind me; I’ll protect you from the people who think you abuse Raz and should just get adopted by Sasha and Milla #that’s a bad take and they should feel bad. like; he can still see Sasha and Milla and alternate parental figures; that’s fine-#But Raz; CANONICALLY; would NEVER give up his family; EVER #That boy would force everyone to have a heart on heart with him until everything is better because he DOES that in the GAME #When you talk to you family in Psychonauts 2 you can tell how much he loves them and how much they love him; even if it’s strained at the-#moment from how stressful the past THREE DAYS have been #YES EVEN DION AND DONATELLA #They love Raz so much!!! They’re both just going through it™️ atm and need time to clear their head: remember; everything that has happened-#has been in the span of 3 DAYS and their whole lives have been completely flipped upside down #I think they’re allowed to be upset; in fact; it would be weird if they weren’t #sorry this is word garbage I just love that family so much it makes me wanna drink paint #prince rambles in this chilies tonight #aquato family #psychonauts aquatos #psychonauts 2 #psychonauts

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danwhobrowses · 3 months

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So Callowmoores am I alone in thinking it was cute that Fearne helped carry Ashton to the city? Like there's the parallel also with Ashton carrying her into the Bloody Bridge as well

#might just be that the callowmoore tag isn't showing everything it's just I didn't see it get brought up by anyone #Ashley/Fearne was well into Ash's Titan stuff too #2 points of exhaustion though is indeed rough can see why Fearne didn't wanna test everything at Mori's #Ash probably overdid it because they've been charmed/lured twice now and want to contribute positively #plus they couldn't tell Imogen to push themselves if they don't do the same #they're trying just like they promised and it needs to be shown encouragement and appreciation for it #Grog on the moon theory is at a crossroads next ep #still candela next so I gotta ration these crumbs; ironically this parallel will also carry me to the next episode #though I'd always be open to a big ol' slice of the shippy cake when time appropriate #Fearne could test her new rogue skills to mage hand pickpocket Ashton maybe? or just anything sweet and tender between them #or more sticking up for one another and endorsing each other's chaos I just need to be fed #also the New Mutants character Tal is thinking of is called Warlock btw - looks like FCG if he wore The Mask #Ashley hinted at possible 'talking and then bed' not to (totally to) insinuate #Dire Wolves also have high perception and adv on attack rolls if an ally is 5m from a creature so Fearne was thinking tactically too #maybe I talk too much on tags...#callowmoore #tag reader bonus: Fearne loves it when Ashton kisses the back of her neck - she got a tattoo of their name there to surprise them #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #fearne x ashton #ashton x fearne #critical role #cr3 #cr3e86 #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #rockwild #bells hells

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wannabemylover · 8 months

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911 won't let karen and eddie meet because they'd be too powerful

#911 fox #911 abc #karen wilson #eddie diaz #they hang out one time then boom buddie would go canon #they are both so fucking sassy and love gossip i just know they have an insanely good friendship #like cmon #i wanna see it bud #like eddie would tell karen he likes buck #and karen would then do everything in her power to get them together #and when karen puts her mind to something #karen gets it done #buddie #buddie 911 #gay firefighter show #buck x eddie #evan buckley

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fakeoutbf · 7 days

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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

#walk with me #this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere #the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad #count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them #in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other #it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time #idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too #so we’ve been more properly friends lately #and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to #gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it #and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention #(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all #weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone #so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever #and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more #and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted #they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture #and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek #i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on #bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other #flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc #i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed #but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers #and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend #delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something

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dekubreaksbones · 18 days

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You know those old AUs where Dabi/Touya trained at the HPSC?

That, but with Natsuo.

Losing both his brother and mother leads Natsuo to have a mental break, resulting in a stress mutation of his quirk. Makes it stronger; currently thinking his ice becomes unmeltable, and certain parts of his body turn completely into ice, such as his arms and jaw. He can regrow the ice and change its formation on his body. The HPSC already had an interest in Endeavor's children, but only after this incident are they able to get their hands on one of them.

He's not the same as Hawks; the commission doesn't own him, it's more of a "boarding school" type thing, and after he becomes a Hero, he's only so on paper. He doesn't have an agency, doesn't patrol, is mostly unknown. He doesn't assassinate people like Lady Nagant and Hawks, they keep his business mostly legal. He's just,,, a hero working specifically and directly for the Commission, called in on certain raids or jobs as the HPSC sees fit.

Outside of that though, he tries to have a normal life. Moves out at 18, attends college, keeps his civilian and hero identities separate. He doesn't have many connections in the hero world; everyone knows he's a Commission plant.

Anyway. Just something i'm thinking really hard of rn. Will probably do some art later

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #todoroki natsuo #hero public safety commission #bnha au #mha au #i dont keep up w the manga or anime idc abt being canon compliant #just something im rotating on my mind rn #natsuo doesnt wanna be a hero. he doesnt have any particular motives or anything driving him. but what choice does he have?#he fucking hates the HPSC. he just knows better than to tell them and risk losing everything #the threats are indirect and vague rn and hed rather keep them like that :)#id imagine the HPSC would want some heroes who directly report to them #and hawks has an agency and fans and patrol and stuff #they cant just throw him at whatever investigation or raid they want to keep an eye on #which is what natsuo is for #this could be a very good setup for natshig...

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sp00pypumpkins · 2 months

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I am finally better from being sick a few days ago B] and finished the ref for Zero in the sweet home AU by @asamary (sorry for the tag)

Now I can freely do silly lil comics about it HAHA

#my art #poppy playtime #poppy playtime oc #poppy playtime sweet home #oc Zero Signal #sweet home au #can u tell i got lazy and didnt want to put color in everything HAHAHHA #do not percieve me now i shall go back to my hole and tomorrow owrk on sillies #I wanna do so many sillies HAHA i am having fun doing these #i like to think the day they moved into the city Zero was so overwhelmed by the outside and people they wanted to stay in for so long #but the prototype forced them to be healthy and go out little by little #GO TOUCH GRASS #HAHAHA #zero sees the prototype as a mentor or like a master because h wants to repay the person who gave him so much without wanting anything in #return about it. He tries to do research about whereabouts of the scientist and give information about it or make gadgets or items they may #need but is suspicious to buy XD #edit 1: i forgot to say he has photography memory thats why he can project his memories on screens very well DX

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side-b-bumblebi · 8 months

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Men who view women as their intellectual equals 😍

#pro tip for the boys: a lot of girls will respond a lot better to a stimulating conversation than to a guy trying to show off #ignore the movies they're lying to you when they tell you you need to be a show off #and if a girl wants that it's maybe not the best sign y'know?#but most girls just want to be treated like we're capable intelligent humans #that's all!! the movies and shit make it way more complicated than it has to be #and yes some girls do make things awkward and complicate everything #but maybe you wanna be careful about that because those girls generally have a lot to unpack #being friends with those girls is fine!! just make sure you have strong boundaries in place #and make sure she's doing some work on herself before considering a romantic relationship #but anyway i've had a lot of men in my life that i feel like wanted to be so much smarter than me #and not to be rude but they weren't?? i was just as smart and sometimes smarter #i didn't care that they were confident in their intelligence but i felt like i needed to dumb myself down #and it. freaking. sucked. i have no idea how i did it for so long #and i would even make jokes about like the guys i dated being smarter than me and nobody ever said anything??#and again these guys weren't smarter than me. that's not an insult to them just acknowledging i'm smarter than i was gave myself credit for #i'm outgrowing the notion that i have to dumb myself down for men and it's so freeing #and you know what really helps me actually? being in college #and especially being in college with so many intelligent men who know they're smart #these guys KNOW they're smart. and not in an arrogant way in a secure and confident way #them knowing they're smart makes them the OPPOSITE of arrogant actually #it's weird but i stand by my observation and it makes sense when you think about it #if you're secure in yourself and your intelligence you don't need to proce yourself by making other people look dumb #these guys are secure in their self-image and masculinity. they don't need women to be dumb and weak to feel strong and intelligent.#and it's so freaking endearing. i love that for these guys so much.#i am just so thankful for people in my life who are taking me seriously and who are helping me to understand i'm worth taking seriously.#wow these tags are long but anyway #guys you don't have to prove anything girls you should never have to dumb yourselves down live long and prosper

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siilvan · 7 months

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i am once again disappointed but not surprised at the COD fandom only caring about “sensitivity” when it’s convenient for them

#telling people it’s morally wrong to simp for makarov #whilst simping for graves or valeria #or ANY character in this damn series #just shows that you only give a shit about ‘sensitivity’ when it doesn’t inconvenience you #‘but he’s bad :(’ my brother in christ. let’s talk about western militaries #price nikolai and gaz literally kidnapped and tortured an innocent woman and child #the UK and US militaries have DEVASTATED vulnerable countries #y’all wanna talk about sensitivity?? then acknowledge how even the ‘good’ characters like the 141 are shitty!#none of these characters are good people!#i cannot stress this enough. eliminating characters because they’re ‘problematic’ eliminates the entire cast. every single one of them.#MAYBE farah would be safe?? i’m not knowledgeable enough to say for certain. but everyone else— 141. los vaqueros. laswell. alex. nikolai. +#valeria. graves. every last warzone operator. EVERY single character is ‘off-limits’ with that logic.#COD fandom is also horribly racist despite pretending it’s not. notice how people only talk about this when it’s white folks being impacted #no one gave a shit when a middle eastern woman and child were kidnapped and tortured. or when fans were romanticizing cartel violence.#or how the SAS CIA and Delta Force have histories of terrorizing vulnerable people; especially in the middle east and asia #i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again before anyone accuses me of smth false:#sensitivity is important. it can co-exist with letting people enjoy problematic things. the source itself is problematic —#ergo. everything that comes from it (even the ‘good’ things) is as well.#you can’t cherry pick which characters people are allowed to be critical of. you can have your faves and have the ones you dislike #but don’t act like you’re doing something noble when your sensitivity is biased.#sylph.talks

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harbingersecho · 3 months

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finally played thru the infamous if demo and had an excuse to make a goth guy. with Facepaint and a coontail and everything. so here's Dane aka Lacuna of Dead Rat Society

#infamous #infamous if #interactive fiction #iris de luca #maya holland #mine #*24 #lacuna #try to stay on model challenge failed.whatever. also i made him under 5'3 after drawing the outfits bc i wanted to climb on counters in the #bus. that's that REAL manlet representation we need. also its so funny when that drunk guy calls u a fag indirectly. what gave it away #also 7 and dane exes is so funny. dane's like i'm over it tho i'm sad that we're not even friends + im happy you got friends but also.#are you in love with avina.like i don't care but ARE you? you have to tell me even tho i'd never ask. lol. but are you? its FINE if you #are i just wanna know. are they in love with you?do you want them to be. its fine btw.#taking everything in me to not start making yt spotify insta + twitter edits of the infamous peeps.

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