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macgyvertape · 3 years

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Castlevania kinda had a pacing problem

spoilers for all of Netflix’s Castlevania. I haven’t seen much analysis for the show on tumblr, im honestly curious if discussions I had with irl friends mirror what fandom talks about

tldr: Castlevania seems inconsistently paced from season to season, and within season as well, leads to a lot of characters motivations feeling unclear so characters repeatedly explain why they are doing something while they’re doing it

overview of the seasons:

S1 I know somewhat of a test for Netflix but it has good main trio character establishment and sets the scale of the conflict

s2: pretty complete emotional arc for most characters and resolves the plot of killing Dracula while setting up additional characters to continue the story. Isaac, Hector, Carmilla all established with the audience as characters whose story would continue

honestly I would bet this is the most popular season

S3: s2 did a bit of worldbuilding, but this season really fleshed out the world with both a wide range of locations and exploring the question of “what now, Dracula is dead but vampires and night creatures remain”.

There were basically 4 plot threads: 1) Sypha/Trevor investigating the cult & Saint Germain; 2) Hector & Carmilla (also introducing Lenore, Striga, Morana); 3) Isaac’s journey of revenge & self discovery; 4) Alucard sits around the castle and is betrayed.

overall characters roughly feel like they are in the same place if not worse. A big criticism I saw at the time, which hold up after rewatching this before s4 is nothing felt resolved for the main characters

I would say this season is where the pacing issues start to become apparent, juggling 4 plot threads that lack a central theme or even mutual character connection. If there was a central theme it would be “humans are awful to each other”. The Judge doing Hot Fuzz style murders, The Wizard in the tower, Sumi & Taka

S4: it starts with the same 4 plot threads, though upfront it is made clear that the plot theme is “people are trying to resurrect Dracula”, and the progression of the plot works to resolve unrelated plot threads until the main trio reunites for the boss fights. To me and my friends watching it was obvious that the show would reunite the main trio, the question was how and how far into the run time.

Season 4 is why I’m writing this essay, for the past 2 days I’ve been like, yeah that character sure explained their motives repeatedly maybe with some philosophical discussion, but it’s just such a weird place considering where they were in s3

Alucard’s arc:

Where he was left in season 3, it was after killing people he had trusted in self defense and impaling their corpses. It was clearly meant to parallel Dracula’s dislike of humanity. However overall his character lacked a proactive motivating force.

Honestly the most interesting thing I found in s3 was Alucard clearly misses Sypha and Trevor, however they don’t miss him or refer to him

One reason Sumi & Taka betray Alucard is for the secrets and power of Castlevania. After inviting the village including St Germain who Alucard was warned of into the Castle, Alucard makes 0 effort to secure anything, not even his personal childhood room. Guess he really learned nothing

Discussing St Germain, I think it’s funny that they had a several minute flashback sequence for his lost girlfriend (who doesn’t have a name or a voice actor), to remind the viewer of who he is, and to justify how he’s suddenly back and down for murder.

In s4 there is the call to help the village, and the walk back to the castle is a montage of Alucard opening up to Greta and becoming friendly literally overnight. He laughs off the impaling, and basically all of the darker things he went through in season 3, which has me asking what was the point of his season 3 arc then?

Honestly writing this I realize the biggest parallel he has with Dracula is the call to action from a bold woman with a dramatic entrance speech which then leads to a romance

Isaac’s arc:

in s3, with all the other themes of “humanity sucks” I was always unsure if the townspeople were meant to appear irrational while attacking a larger force instead of letting him pass through an leave, or him not caring about how he’s provoking them is meant to show his insanity

ive seen the discussion elsewhere, curious about the Discourse here

is s4 Isaac has the whole monologue about how he now has agency but him gaining that agency was his s3 arc. In s4 he’s already at the point of accepting it. By the end of s4 he’s one of those who comes the furthest from his first character appearance to his last.

s4e5 where of Isaac attacking Carmilla in Isaac’s 2nd appearance had him resolving like 4 plot threads at once (Carmilla, Striga& Morana, Hector, and Isaac himself).

but i do wonder if Trevor, Sypha, or Alucard even know any of these people exist. I think not

I was honestly confused if I missed a scene from his dialogue about building something and what is inherent nature, to “My plan has evolved, my plan is now conquest” because he only conquests the one castle and the rest is left unclear

Upon rewatch the connection there is “killing [the wizard] felt just ... I liked that feeling”, so the show says that Isaac in the end attacked Carmilla for the sake of justice and not revenge.

Isaac in his last conversation expresses the theme of s4 “build something new on these old bones, where people can live for the future”

however, his arc honestly feel scenes were cut, and then dialogue was written around it. He’s the only living character who doesn’t show up in the epilogue and the sentient night creature “what if I could empty hell” dialogue was some of the most interesting worldbuilding. Night creatures with sentience and possibility of regaining memories!!!!

The Council of Sisters & Hector’s arc:

oh I’ve already seen s4 discourse about Lenore/Hector while searching for character analysis, a chunk of it seems to be rationalizing the absolute difference between how s3 ended with these characters and s4. It was extremely confusing for me and my friends; wondering if 1) was Hector showing more emotional intelligence than before and putting on a facade to cover up hatred? Nope 2) did more time pass than 6 weeks for there to be some kind stockholm syndrome? No, Hector seems fine to let Lenore kill herself

The slave control ring: played up in the climax of s3 and easily solved s4. s3 Lenore says if he tries to harm them, flee, or take it off it would cause crippling pain, in s4 Hector just easily cuts off his own finger.

for a control ring that they take time to show a version being on the Rebus, it doesn’t do much controlling of Hector

also guess the definition of “do harm” just refers to direct action

Lenore in s4: has no purpose in conquest, has that useless remarked on by multiple characters, is imprisoned, then kills herself after a genre aware philosophical discussion. This essay is long enough, but what the fuck happened to this character who ended s3 clearly physically and sexually abusive? Seriously this was one of the biggest writing changes to the point where she was treating Hector as an equal. Compare her last words in s3 “shh the real people [vampires] are talking”. The change in the relationship is actually something I would have taken being shown, or atleast told of what exactly caused this change other than the vague “you adopted him”

Striga&Morana get the best arc of the Council. 3 scenes: the tent argument, Daybreak armor fight & argument resolution, declaration of feelings and turning away. You could argue Castlevania is plot to be connective tissue between fight scenes, but for all the dialogue about human resistance in different seasons it was nice to see it. Overall the scenes were short but had a lot of showing what their relationship is not just telling,

unlike Carmilla. For as much hyping up as they did with her, and as much power as she had, she only appeared in 2 episodes and no other group except Isaac knew about her military conquest.

the map scene where she states her motive for conquest of wanting to take things from old men is the key example of how characterization became tell not show. How interesting was that monologue compared to the past seasons flashback to her murmuring the old vampire lord, or all her repeated insults of men/man-children that shows how she judges people??

That monologue had to carry the weight of justifying the Sisterhood bonds falling apart as well as why her motivation changed from building a human pen from Styria to Braila to world conquest. I think it did so poorly

Sypha & Trevor

really Sypha & Trevor have the main plot in the show. I checked and post season 1 the only episode they don’t appear in is s4e6, which is entirely devoted to the Isaac, Hector, and Council of Sisterhood arc. Their partnership and adventures are the main plot of the show.

Its easy to see what Trevor’s arc was over the show: coming to peace with the deaths of his family, taking up the mantle of being a Belmont, and starting a new family with Sypha.

With Sypha I actually had to scroll through tv tropes for what is her character arc, and I guess hers is disillusionment from adventure and life outside the speakers? My friends joke that Sypha’s magic is what the plot demands to look cool in a fight, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tangent: the ending of their arc was easy to guess: as soon as Trevor went to fight the final boss alone I literally said “oh i bet Sypha’s pregnant, Trevor’s doing a heroic sacrifice, theyll use the unexplained magical dagger mcguffin, and 60/40 odds that he goes through an infinite corridor to outright come back vs just the implication he might come back”

I guess my final thought of the show, was overall the SUPER Final Boss got my by surprise. It was a good twist I enjoyed. Not that Death appeared, I had guessed that from the heavy foreshadowing, but I was surprised by who it was, because I had thought I thought the characters involved feeling shoehorned into the plot was just more bad writing. The Alchemist who put St Germain on the path or murder for no discernible motive for helping? Sure gotta move the plot along. New Dracula court member Varney who has a whole introduction with almost every character he meets and banter about his smell? Sure thats basically how all characters talk with a snarky and acerbic voice.

#Castlevania #castlevania spoilers #castlevania meta #castlevania season four #overall i enjoyed the show #id love to find some discussion of the show #this wound up being more of a recap than a persuasive essay #but i think my tldr thesis statement stands

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namenoted · 2 years

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so i had 2 posts in my drafts that are like...just really me spitting out thoughts about light and how others perceive him both in series and as an audience as well as a redemption factor, if he is redeemable, and overall how culpable is light to be held to his actions in comparison to the rest of the cast being held responsible for their actions -- it’s a long read and will actually go well with this amazing ask i just received:

also im relying a bit on this post ive made before in reference to this, so it’s not really coming out of nowhere.

and this post here.

this also just veers off a bit tbh it’s a bit of a random collection with an intended start and end but no vehicle to get there.

i don't think it's addressed so cut and dry in the manga or really at all to light directly as far as character development ... buut i think as an audience we're led to believe that unequivocally no, for the story and sake of death note given that it's a linear story with one outcome, i do not believe light is capable of redemption following solely the story as it is told.

i think it's really purposeful to see him get "progressively" worse. the crux of this for the audience and when we're supposed to know he is truly "irredeemable" is by killing L successfully and moving on. while we can say his behaviors before then are not justifiable enough to redeem him to us as the audience, we can see where the true shift of "this is a protag turned antagonist" and leaves the sort of illusion that light could potentially be shown the error of his ways. killing L was what really kills ties with the audience and makes light truly unlikeable imo. that is where most people also are turned off of death note and stopped watching, which is pretty common and also somewhat understandable. it's just interesting because L really isn't that much more morally sound than light, it's just how far we get to see L go versus how far light is able to go in the series simply because he lives, but we can see a pattern where L was becoming just as extreme as light in many ways to solve this case. you can argue using tailor for example isn't really "all that bad" because he was already going to be executed but a) that's not up to L the when and how and b) lethal injection versus public death via heart attack to prove a point are very, very different. that's not going into how he was willing to test the death note just before his own death. this is just interesting to note given that L seems to be the pillar of justice in the eyes of the fandom, and that just simply is not the case, but he is redeemable and more well-liked whereas light is very much hated authentically to his core.

so a short answer to the above: for the story, no. light is not redeemable.

as character explored more in-depth based on what we're given contextually and what we know about human behavior? more arguably...yes? but maybe not to the idea of redemption as we know or understand it, or something that we could "swallow" but there could be a figurative "change of heart" that might not wash away what he has done, but can revoke his feelings so to speak. there is a very thin line that people teeter on when referring to redemption and i think that tends to get combined with absolving all wrongs to make an unalienable and perfect right. that is not how the human heart works.

this actually leads me into another set of points as far as the idea of how a character like light is seen as irredeemable in comparison to a cast that is just as generally questionable as he is. we can argue there are characters that fall into a more neutral/good alignment such as naomi and matusda, but realistically that isn't who we're referring much to because they aren't the true holders of the story's presentation of good or evil, they are the shades of grey. the scope goes light as very evil, L as moderately evil (so a more "neutral" with an evil leaning), and the true good as soichiro. even that is complicated if you look at soichiro's behavior, yet he is unquestionably good; but he made light. light is the direct result of being parented by the yagami family as well as a combination of my perception of what mental illnesses light is dealing with, particularly ocd and npd.

it's hard to say if light is redeemable, but in my opinion there is a path of redemption that could be had; this could be done in a multitude of ways. stripping away the memories being revoked and just going on the authenticity of who light is as a person without any other enhanced circumstance to sway him either way, again...arguably yes. just not in the way we might understand redemption. light is also a very fact based character, so he can be swayed better by logic than emotion despite being a very emotionally based person (imo) that works heavy on logic.

for instance like if you’re going to hold yagami up to the standard of accepting responsibility and culpability for his actions without giving him “fandom treatment” no one else is should be given the “sweet baby” “but I just think they’re cute” pass — if they’re not going to be judged, based, or merited in the same way that yagami, then why hold yagami accountable??? they all start to us as blank slates so. characters that kidnap, threaten, steal, kill, lie, cheat are all sort of put on this pedestal and absolved bc “baby” — but since yagami is so basically openly narcissistic to the audience and reliably narrates exclusively to us in a way we don’t get from the others, he never gets like even just a “wow that was smart”??

so in the end, im not asking for full redemption but he is a valuable character, and also im writing him so a little respect to me at least would be nice — also many of the death note cast are self serving characters so i don’t really buy the excuses i see for disliking light as a reason to dislike light, thus absolve him of the ability to have what most villains do (a chance).

— everyone has blood on their hands, there is only one true author intended good guy and even he has some major problems (soichiro) — anyways i could go on — i get it that yagami is so open and so manipulative and so almost downright mean internally in his monologue but — we see directly into light’s head. he’s a short protagonist turned immediate antagonist but he’s really not any morally murkier than anyone else in the series, he’s just very evil, but i don't think he's honestly the worst villain we've ever had. it's also important to just take his canon timeline into account too, it's easier to give him a 2022 gloss over while ignoring his geographical location, as well as his belief system, family dynamic, social dynamic, expectations, and the norms of the time. he is progressive so this is why i argue more on the yes as a character but no in the story.

also just a side note but we see several characters live vicariously through light. my prime example being: matsuda lives out his romantic fantasies with women like takada and misa via light to the point of encouraging yagami to cheat on misa with takada. just strange that this behavior is so encouraged, but it is not a factor that would or would not sway yagami. just an observation ooc. generally others are very invested in his personal life to an almost uncomfortable degree

— and just overall how pushy everyone is for light to be attracted to misa specifically. it isn’t just one person, it’s like the whole cast pressuring him as well as the fandom (imo). i find it interesting that he doesn’t necessarily crumble to this pressure as he makes it align to his vision, but it is pressure nonetheless. this is going to sound a little harsh, but while misa is beautiful, she just isn’t everyone’s type. that’s normal, that’s real life, and honestly it’s doubly so given their specific circumstances of meeting.

arguably there is a lot more to the light and misa relationship than we’ve already been told, but we have a clear understanding of how light is to misa, but there’s a lot we really don’t discuss as far as the entirety of that relationship. there’s a lot i feel that is swept far under the rug that creates a big imbalance of personal responsibility on top of a myriad of other things that is just formatively wrong from the start...and not just all at yagami’s hand.

that’s a post in and of itself, but this is what i have for now as far as some thoughts i’ve had swimming around all day. also we cannot say light’s non-attraction to misa is really relative to what he’s attracted to at all. that’s really not something we’re privy to since it’s not something we get in any authentic form of what a relationship with yagami would be like sans the death note. interestingly his two “choices” are dark haired and taller than misa. **i like misa btw i’m just trying to give a broader view**

#* ( 夜神月 ) † † — headcanon

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copperpieceharlot · 3 years

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Bud I’m sorry to swing into your inbox uninvited like this but my soul is having an OOTS renaissance thanks to your content in the tag and did you say Leverage AU

haha holy SHIT this got Long. but yes. i’ve been. Thinking. (also literally Never feel like you have to apologize for sending me messages. i was Hoping someone would ask me about this. now i have an Excuse to share EVERYTHING ive written abt it :3)

Obviously, Roy is the leader/brains of the outfit. He grew up having some Strong Opinions abt what’s Legal versus what’s Right due to tragic backstory involving the death of his little brother which was definitely SOMEONE’S fault for negligence but since there technically wasn’t any illegal behavior, there were no consequences for it. Also he’s still angry at his dad bc he thinks his dad is also partly culpable (and also also just a dick). He’s the Moral Backbone of the team (alongside Durkon, more on that later) in basically the same way Nate was in og Leverage. He’s actually not the best at figuring out what people want (that’s Haley and, shockingly, occasionally Elan), but once he has that info, he is the absolute best at figuring out the ideal plan of attack to use in any given case.

Haley is still a thief. I mean she maps to Parker almost PERFECTLY. Her dad was a thief & a conman, her mom wasn’t but knew about it and mostly accepted it, but she died tragically in a mugging gone wrong or smth, which made Ian crank the paranoia WAY up and taught Haley to do the same in the name of “safety”. Let’s keep the “Ian is in Trouble and Haley needs money, Fast” which is why she signs on to the first job in the first place. She’s less acrobatic than Parker, tending towards finding (or making) weak spots in security, but she can still make a tumble check when she needs to.

Elan is the grifter who is somehow an Idiot but also not???? It baffles everyone. When he’s playing a part for a con, he’s FLAWLESS, but then the rest of the time he’s just. No Thoughts Head Empty. He probably gets lured in initially because he’s decided to try his hand at being part of a full team, rather than the two-man cons he’s been running that invariably end w his partner conning him as well and stealing half of his take. Also he likes the idea of being Crime Friends. He’s that tweet where it’s like, Roy: “after the heist is over, we split up and never communicate again” / Elan: [about to unveil his Crime Buddies Forever Friendship Quilt Puppets]: “never?”

Vaarsuvius is the hacker/gadget person. They have a Vaguely Snobby Yet Unidentifiable accent, dyed(?) purple hair (nobody has ever seen their roots) and nobody knows who they “really” are or where they came from, but they’re good at what they do so everyone just accepts the mystery. They probably got suckered into the team by their initial employer (who I’ll get to Eventually, lol) framing it as a challenge to their intellect, like, “oh, I see, you’re not smart enough to make this team work for you...” to which they were like Fucking Watch Me and also melted his computer. Anyways. They are joined (digitally) by their Intrepid Friend And Co-Conspirator (his words, not theirs), a fellow hacker known only as Blackwing, or, on certain forums, Blackwing_Bird. (In the first season, V only occasionally references him when saying they’re “calling in extra help” or smth for a particularly complex hack job. He starts showing up a little more in s2 and eventually by the start of s4 is a regular & established presence, but only appears as actions in a computer interface or output.) Elan is convinced he’s an AI, Belkar doesn’t think he actually exists, Haley pretends she doesn’t think he exists, and Durkon and Roy try not to think about it too hard, as long as B and V still get the job done.

Belkar is the hitter. He is on the team bc their initial employer got him out of jail for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory, he just likes doing violent crimes. As the series progresses, he grows some empathy & stuff, but really only for people who actually deserve it. Assholes still get decked. It’s all very touching. (Also he has dwarfism caused by achondroplasia. It doesn’t actually bother him and is useful in fights bc his opponents frequently have no fucking clue how to approach him, but he likes Pretending to take offense at stupid things just to see how far he can go with it.)

Aaaand last but not least, Durkon is the least involved member of the team. He’s actually a career criminal and Roy’s mentor, and wasn’t a member of the initial team that [redacted, I’ll tell you later, PROMISE] put together for a couple of reasons, the main one being that he’s Officially retired in order to spend more time with his family, which consists of his mom, his friend (not girlfriend) Hilgya, baby Kudzu, and a truly stunning number of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Roy frequently calls or visits him for advice and he Occasionally shows up to help out on local jobs, but generally he avoids doing crime if he can (as part of a deal with Hilgya, who is also a career criminal; basically, they’ve both cut back on the crime in order to provide a more stable home environment for Kudzu. But sometimes, you gotta do a little crime, and in those cases, Sigdi enjoys spending time w her grandson.)

NOW. THE BIG REVEAL YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Who got the team together in the first place?!

The answer: Lord Shojo (or whatever Normal Person Name you want to assign him). Now this is where it gets tricky: he had them do a thing that they thought was good, THEN they thought it was BAD, but then when they confronted him he revealed that it Appearing to be bad was actually a test of character and would they consider working as basically internal investigators for him? But then he had a heart attack, so, rip. But THEN it turned out that he’d left them a bunch of money anyway and they were all feeling kind of Inspired so they formed the Order of the Stick, LLC (which, no, i am not coming up with a new name, actually, because I just don’t care. someone else can come up w a justification for that name, tho, i’m sure it’s possible). Also Miko was there and was unhappy abt their actions, and also their general existence.

Moving on. Villains!

Redcloak is the Sterling replacement, because that DEEPLY amuses me.

Xykon is a season-long main villain, probably one that Redcloak finds himself working for but then “teams up with” (read: blackmails) the Order to bring him down bc even Redcloak finds Xykon distasteful. That’s season 3, let’s say.

Tarquin is another season villain, say season 2. Nale probably shows up pretty early in s1, actually, as another recurring antagonist like Sterling but uh. Less good at it. Anyways the s2 final 3 eps deal with them (accidentally) discovering that Tarquin runs some Evil Empire Company, then trying to outplay him and take him down. Idk if Nale still dies in this version tbh.

Tsukiko is a one-off s1 villain who returns briefly in s4 alongside Miko, who has gone well and truly off the rails.

Season 1 finale has to do w Roy finally getting Vengeance for his little brother.

The vampire squad is the s4 finale villain who do smth terrible to Durkon and then get the Mother Of All Revenge served up to them by the Order.

I envision the show as being 5 seasons (like og Leverage) but I’m not going to sketch out s5 because I think it should be based off whatever happens in the current story arc, possibly involving some legacy of the OotSquiggle.

Other stuff!

The Order of the Squiggle is a legendary criminal team from the 60s who stole a BUNCH of famous shit & then proceeded to legendarily implode. This has no bearing on the plot I’ve sketched out, I just think it’s fun.

The Sapphire Guard members should probably be reworked as FBI. I don’t care about most of them but I do think that Lien and O-Chul could be like, FBI agents who Choose to look the other way while the Order does their very-much-not-legal-but-still-fair Justice Crime, and maybe even help them out on occasion.

So, the Final season-by-season outline, based on everything I’ve written so far:

s1 e1: getting the team together, doing a con for Shojo, then at the end he dies and the gang is like “dang what now?" and intend to split up except then they Don’t.

mid-s1: Nale shows up and tries to trick the Order, but then gets beat like a drum.

late s1: Tsukiko is an underling of the Villain Of The Week, winds up in police custody. But She’ll Be Back.

s1 finale: Roy’s Vengeance: The Vengeaning. also we meet Redcloak as an antagonist.

s2 e1: the truth abt Haley’s father comes out

early s2: The Two Live Crews Job but it’s the Order vs the Linear Guild and the Linear Guild ARE all bad guys.

mid-s2: Redcloak returns. ugh.

late s2: the sapphire guard FBI makes its first appearance, hello O-Chul and Lien.

s2 pre-finale: once again they’re in conflict w Nale over smth, he spends the whole episodes making Cryptic Remarks, they basically beat him (like a drum!) but then the stinger at the end is that Tarquin reveals himself and Elan is like “Dad?!”, roll credits.

s2 finale, part 1: Elan is hanging out w Tarquin bc he’s DEEP in Denial, the Rest of the team tries to take Tarquin down, but it doesn’t work.

s2 finale, part 2: Elan finally gets a clue and they manage to beat Tarquin. still haven’t decided if Nale dies or not, but I’m leaning towards yes. also they rescue Haley’s dad.

s3 e1: fuck dude idk.

early s3: Redcloak shows up, AGAIN, everyone groans. he has blackmail on them, he wants them to take Xykon down.

mid s3: The Rashomon Job but it’s about stealing the Talisman of Dorukan and it turns out that Nale was there too (“oh!” Elan says. “I was wondering why I looked so weird in all those mirrors! But it wasn’t my reflection, it was Nale’s!” “Sweetie, that wasn’t Nale’s reflection,” says Haley. “Huh,” says Elan, “so the mirrors were broken?”, cue eye rolling from everyone else.), and the Successful thief was Hilgya, who’d nabbed it from the owner before it even went on display.

s3 finale: they beat Xykon, actually factually, because he deserves to get his ass Thoroughly kicked, even if only in AU form. Lien and O-Chul are there, so are some other less helpful FBI people. There’s a bit where O-Chul Exact Wordses his way out of telling his superiors about the Order’s less legal activities without technically lying. King shit.

s4 e1: doesn’t really matter. maybe smth to do w some legacy of Tarquin’s company to set up the drama w Malack & Durkon later.

early s4: Durkon gets SENT TO PRISON. Malack approaches the Order abt this because sure they have Different Ethics but they’re still Friends. (Roy is surprised and a little hurt that he’s never heard of Malack, but he ignores that in favor of Let’s Get Whatever Fuckers Did This To Our Friend.)

immediately after that: Miko and Tsukiko return as a Team, preventing the Order from working on the Durkon situation

mid s4: Redcloak makes another unexpected & unwelcome appearance but he’s maybe a little less of a dick? the Order collaborates with Malack & his Crime Buddies (hello, Vector Legion) to pull one over on him tho, because “less of a dick” does not mean “a pleasant or decent person”, and also he was mean abt Durkon being in jail, so he totally deserved it. he still gets whatever he wanted tho, just takes a blow to his pride. also prevents the Order from helping Durkon. they’re having a LOT of setbacks wonder why that could be, not to make sure the season fills its whole length or anything, no sirree

s4 finale: something something taking down the organization, headed by Hel (yes that’s her real name), which framed Durkon for their Big Crime. Durkon goes free and Extra Firmly retires, For Good, He Swears, but says he “met someone new” who might be an asset.

s5 e1: minrah joins the team! and the episode is set in like, somewhere really snowy. that’s all i got.

the rest of s5: don’t know, don’t care, it’s open-ended until the comic finishes up.

#mine #ask #corvidcorgi #order of the stick #oots #leverage #leverage au #oots au #au #outline #haha this thing clocks in at 1.9k words because i am LITERALLY incapable of shutting up #hope u enjoy it bc i spent Way Too Much Mental Effort mapping out how the OotS plotlines might play out in a leverage setting #and then promptly ignored Most of that in favor of making it funnier & dumber & more villain-of-the-week #(bc lbr the comic is Good but it's got an overarching plot form that the Leverage story style does Not jive with)#i'm not tagging all these characters lol

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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— tag game!

tagged by: @neolee231 ; thank you, sam! i love answering these :] tagging: @seungmoe @lovelygalaxy333 @masterninjacow @latetaektalk @enha-woodzies @neonun-au only if y’all are interested :]

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

uhhh, iv of spades, bts and enhypen.

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

nct, stray kids and ateez (on a thin line tho)

3. how long have you been writing?

since 4th grade so it’ll been 10 years this october? (wow, i just manually counted so i’m just as shocked as you are) but writing for this blog, i hit my anniv the other day.

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

tumblr only. still thinking of posting the more lengthy ones on ao3.

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ANGST. but atm it’s fantasy/out of the mundane setting fics.

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

definitely a planner who sucks at following the plan so i end up being a pantser.

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

one shots because i have SERIOUS commitment issues when it comes to chaptered fics. i become pressured by the feedback and sometimes i feel like i can’t do any justice to how good the fic has been so far.

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

for a multi-chaptered fic? around 2k or 3k, i guess?

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

checkmate, 19.3k.

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

again, checkmate. made me more attached to stray kids and i definitely loved the

11. favourite request you've have written and why (if any?)

i have two! in quarantine (choi san) because it kick started everything and the most recent one, gladius maximus (bang chan) because AAAAA percy jackson.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

uhhhh someone’s always bound to get hurt except when it’s fluff.

13. current number of wips?

oh fuck, hold on. 8, i think. how many am i working on? none.

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i don’t fucking ‘show don’t tell’ which is the biggest flaw i have. i’m trying to improve by lessening it but it takes away what i see as assets in my writing. also, i can tell you what my characters feel through their thoughts, but i can’t show you where the fuck they are because i can’t world build for shit. and lastly, the cussing in my fics lessened significantly as the year progressed. i’m glad i got to get rid of that.

15. a quote you like from a published story

“When you found a vacant window seat, you looked back at Donghyuck’s retreating figure as he made his way back to his bike. You catch him wiping his eyes again—unsure if it was because of sweat, or from tears again. He mounted his bike and started pedaling away. maybe back to school, maybe towards home or maybe to the places you both used to frequent—only this time, he was alone.”

16. a quote from an unpublished story

“You were the only living soul for miles.”

17. space for you to say something to your readers

YOU READ THIS SHIT? but thank you for reading the arranged word vomits that i publish here. i have nothing but appreciation towards those who take the time to read through everything. words can’t express how happy every notification makes me and i can’t thank you enough for everything. you’re a part of the reason why i continue to share my stories here. i love you all to bits <3

#toff.tags

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primasveraas-writing · 4 years

Text

unconditionally

Request: “ok first off ur writing and characterization is 🥺🥺🥺 amazing im love you! could you do a hc or something ab poe coming out to kes??”

Thank you very much. So sorry it took this long, but thanks for your patience!

I included another Author’s note at the end, which I don’t like for formatting reasons, but I felt was necessary due to the personal nature of this story.

WORD COUNT: 861

XXX

Poe stares at his father, who is looking down at his plate of food. The question burns on Poe’s tongue, but a part of him has already accepted that he’s not going to ask tonight, and the fight leaves him.

Dad, what would you do if I were gay?

It’s not unthinkable that Kes would be accepting. His father retired from the Rebellion, helped lead the galaxy to an era of change. He’s progressive as far as Poe knows, and yet.

And yet, you can never be too sure.

Poe swallows the question, and is uncharacteristically quiet for the rest of the night.

***

Poe wonders what his mother would say. It’s impossible to truly know, given that they buried her years ago. Like with Kes, he can surmise that she would be supportive.

As with all the life-altering challenges that Poe has faced, he likes to imagine what Shara Bey would say to him. When he feels most alone, he pictures the beautiful curly-haired woman before him, cupping her teenage son’s cheek and embracing him with care.

“Oh, Poe,” she would say. “It’s alright. Of course I accept you. You’re my son, sweetheart. I’ll always love you.”

But it’s never that simple and perfectly smooth, and it never will be again. Poe can nearly feel his mom’s arms around him and all their warmth and comfort, but it’s his dad that’s left, and that’s who he has to tell.

***

Growing up on a farm on Yavin IV, Poe was presented with only rare opportunities to explore his sexuality. His school was relatively small, and being gay was a topic infrequently mentioned. However, when Poe finally started to read more holos and watch more shows as he grew up, the concept was broached more and more. He didn’t even fully understand what it was to be gay until Poe was old enough to feel emotionally and physically for other men.

Poe can’t help to wonder, as he remotely consumes stories of people who’ve known and shown their sexualities since they were small children, if it would have been easier to know from the beginning that he was gay. Certainly, he would have avoided all the confusion and doubt in figuring it out, in trying to find a label that fit, or attempting to understand why he didn’t have crushes the same way his classmates did.

That’s part of the punch, too. All his friends, and even his father, talk about women with the expectation that Poe will agree about how beautiful they are. It’s almost laughable how averse he is to the subject, and instead, Poe pines in secret after the boys in his year.

***

Poe’s hands are shaking as he eats, but he takes a steadying breath. Kes doesn’t notice, only shifting his attention from his meal when Poe clears his throat.

“Dad, I- I’ve been thinking, and it’s not that big of a deal-”

“Relax, son.” Kes interrupts, worry creasing his brow. He covers Poe’s hand with one of his bigger ones. “Take a deep breath.”

Complying, and now completely thrown off guard, Poe tries again. “I just wanted you to know,” Poe says, closing his eyes to focus on his words, “that I’m gay. I like men.”

He opens his eyes to see Kes looking at him, perfectly neutral. “It doesn’t change anything- and I’ve known for a while now- but it’s really important to me that you understand-”

“Poe,” Kes says, slow and deliberate as always. “It’s okay. I don’t have a problem with it.”

The younger Dameron exhales deeply in reply. As the air rushes out of him, Poe feels a colossal weight lifted off his shoulders, akin to the feeling of complete liberation he experiences when he flies.

It’s alright. It’s going to be okay.

Without realizing it, Poe is near tears, wetness creeping into his eyes. There isn’t anything he can get past the lump in his throat, but Kes stands and embraces his son. In his father’s arms, Poe sniffles and dries his eyes.

“Thank you,” he manages.

“There’s no need. I love you, Poe.”

***

“Did you think I wouldn’t accept you?”

It’s the next night when Kes asks his question, and Poe freezes. It’s not meant to be hostile, and Poe knows this, but it’s as abrupt as his coming out was yesterday, and it catches Poe off guard.

“I mean…” Poe swallows and tries to find the right words to explain the fears of a closeted gay son.

“No…” Poe decides. “I didn’t think so, I was just nervous.”

This answer suffices. “You can always talk to me,” Kes reminds him gently.

Poe reassures him that he indeed knows this, especially now, and relaxes. While his father isn’t quite done, Poe is more prepared now, and he successfully navigates Kes’ questions about when Poe realized he was gay and why he wanted to come out.

He can handle explaining this, so long as he has his father’s support.

***

“Dad? Do you think… do you think that mom would have been okay with it too?”

Kes smiles at Poe, who realizes that is enough of an answer in itself.

“Yes. She would have.”

XXX

Although this is more or less my own coming out story reframed, I felt that it would fit in well with Poe as well- his parents are rational and loving, which, in this context, makes us both very lucky. As unfortunately prevalent as negative experiences are, I think it’s also important to have a mostly happy coming out story too. But even so, there are fears and doubts that come with it, the kind that requires guidance in unknown places- like from people made unreachable by time or distance. That perspective is important too- and I hope I did some justice in trying to bring it to life.

Additional notes on Poe here.

#star wars #poe dameron #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fanfiction #kes dameron #shara bey #star wars fanfiction #star wars fanfic #finnpoe #tros #the rise of skywalker

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bangtanxm · 4 years

Text

Bookclub; March Highlight

This month’s theme was “The Darkness Within” asking for our bookclub members to find the most angstiest and darkest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

PS. As this theme involves a lot of triggering topics, we’d like to emphasize to thoroughly read the disclaimers on each story. Thank you.

TEMPTATION written by linzeigh

— Summary; Yoongi and Jimin are priests. Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are hungry. — Disclaimer; pwp, demons, nsfw-content

bookclub; review

“AAAAARRHHHHH. This was so incredible. I feel like no matter what I say, it will not do this masterpiece justice. It's so sinful and forbidden, but oh how it feels so right! The gradual revelation of Jimin and Yoongi’s mutual lust for each other was masterfully written. And fuck, I love the demon trio of Jin, JK and Tae. Their interactions and teasing brought a surprisingly bright mood to the fic, and I giggled several times at JK and Tae’s bickering. The concept of them feeding of sexual tension and being able to read Jimin and Yoongi’s mind was really interesting. The blasphemy was so shocking (and surprisingly intriguing), and I kept thinking damn how far is the author gonna take it, and oh lord very very far indeed. This is a must-read for anyone who likes explicit and dark fics!!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“This fic is so good. It is lengthy, for one, which is so admirable and amazing considering it’s largely smut. Smut can be so hard to write such big fics of and keep it fresh and interesting, but this author was able to do so. They were able to really take their time with each character and it felt fresh and interesting, without being slow or repetitive which is such an awesome accomplishment. I love the small details that were added in, the fact that they didn’t bleed, probably didn’t need to breathe, were super strong, etc. – it really added to the depth of the characters themselves, which is something that is often left out of smut fics. Also the entire subject/plot. Though blasphemous in some ways, it was handled really really well and I think kind of brushed on some very important topics (like being gay and religious). Overall just a stunning piece of fiction that I will be coming back to again and again for a reread.” [anon]

THE PERFECT ILLUSION written by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that. — Disclaimer; mentioning of abusive behavior

bookclub; review

“this is...just wow.... the story is so interesting and unique, the writing is beautiful, the characters are so on point. Ive only read the first chapter so far and i just know this is going to be one of my classics. The universe is so well constructed, the characters very nuanced in such a short amount of time... You can see the research that went into the geisha world, and it's paying off into what i feel is a masterpiece.” [anon]

"I already had an admiration and love for geisha culture and craft so seeing this story come out the first time just made me so excited!! Granted it has darker thematic tones to it, I loved how Jimins character was so well embodied that it stuck with me even after I read it. Also Jungkook as the maiko liSTEN I GREW SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM THROUGHOUT THE STORY. That build up of his mizuage made me want to take him away to somewhere and Namjoon and Yoongi were just the best, most complimentary characters to each of them. Jimin needed someone soft and kind like Namjoon while Jungkook needed someone sort of protective and a little cheeky like Yoongi. Their dynamics just worked so freaking well and you can always count on Jey and Cat to have just the right amount of angst mixed with fluff cause damn it HURT for a while reading this but the relief of it all was so welcoming. I can't rec this fic enough honestly, the characters, the settings in the teahouse are so beautiful and I LOVE authors who aren't scared to make a member into an antagonistic character cause it added so much flavour to the chemistry OOF just well done it was so nice reminiscing with this fic again!!!” [anon]

“I read The Perfect Illusion originally as it came out. It is just as enjoyable the second time through. It was such an interesting and stunning piece, I felt. The real shining star was the slow burn aspect of it, I think, even more so than the angst or abuse aspects. The slow sort of build of romance between Joon and Jimin was really beautiful, especially with the constant looming danger of what they were doing. The gravity of it was revealed in a really slow, measured manner that I think really helped the reader feel that sense of urgency as the fic went on and we – like Namjoon, learned more and more about the situation than we’d known before. The disgust of what was being done to Jimin and JK and the other dancers was enough to roll one’s stomach, but it was done in such a way that it worked well with the fic. It wasn’t there just for shock value; everything seemed to have a purpose and a point and it wove together in a really fitting and gorgeously heartbreaking and bittersweet tale overall.” [anon]

SING FOR ME written by Trilluvium

— Summary; When Jimin set out to find Earthshine in order to save his mother, he’d been ready to give up his life. Earthshine’s keeper, however, was interested in taking more from Jimin than just his life. — Disclaimer; non-con, tentacles, rape

bookclub; review

“Just wow. Okay, so this fic is so beautifully done. There is nonconsent, yes, it’s dark, yes, but it’s so much more than that. Particularly because of the ending, which is so bittersweet – Jimin’s choice. But my thinking is, vaguely hopeful? Maybe things will turn around? But that’s just me. Either way – the real shining star in this fic is the descriptive writing. The author does such a good job of writing in a very clear and detailed manner that a lot of folks just can’t accomplish without it dragging the fic down. It feels far heavier in description than dialogue, which I think fits it perfectly. The author was able to perfectly describe this absolutely beautiful fantasy realm in which the characters are, as well as the inhuman aspects of the characters. The description left me breathless – I wasn’t distracted, struggling to imagine what a, b, or c looked like – the author painted this amazing, film quality scene in my head. And because of that, I was able to focus fully on the dialogue and action of the characters.” [anon]

WHISPERING SHADOWS written by @jooniesmind

— Summary; It’s an already tough ability, that becomes borderline impossible, when you’re scared of ghosts. And Jimin was like that. — Disclaimer; angst, ghosts, mentioning of death

bookclub; review

“This is an excellent start to what could be a really sad, beautiful fic! The descriptions used are really stunning, painting a lovely picture (and a sad one). I’d love to see what would happen if JK came back, or even just following poor terrified-of-ghosts Jimin through his life, doing his job in whatever way he can manage. I’d love to learn more about how it works, what he does (and doesn’t do) and meet other ghosts he’s had to tangle with. And other whisperers! How it works and what makes them have the ability, etcetera. There’s such a whole rich world here that I think the author really began to develop in a beautiful way.” [anon]

“this story just hits you right in the feels. the author does a great job of putting so much emotion in a little one-shot that i’m just in awe at how they’ve done it. it is perfect!” [anon]

The Chaos Theory (Love Me Now) written by leanmeancuisine

— Summary; Jeon Jungkook, Prince of the South Korean Royal Pack and CEO of the largest conglomerate in the world, was thought to be following his father’s footsteps in becoming a Purebred Alpha. Oh, how wrong was that. Freshly presented at 18, Jungkook is discovered to be a Genus—a rare and one of a kind type of wolf that has more than one special gene. — Disclaimer; ABO Dynamics, mentioning of suicide, depression, kidnapping, poly-relationship

bookclub; review

“So I read this entire wip in one sitting. And then had to lay down and sleep on it before writing this. That’s how damn good this fic is. I was absolutely blown away. The style of writing is unbelievably well done. The author was able to really create this whole world and species, essentially, borrowing from some of the more traditional tropes but changing it into something very unique and creative. It feels so entirely fresh and interesting, weaving both very well handled traumas and angst in with softer, gentler bits that give the fic a level of depth and beauty that I haven’t seen in a very long time. All of the characters are so beautifully developed; I honestly can’t think of one I prefer more than the other of the ones that we have met so far. I’m so incredibly curious about the remaining members, as well as how Jin will blend with the rest of the group as things progress. I look forward to many updates!” [anon]

“ALRIGHT DAMN what a ride and im only prologue + 1st ch in! the introduction to jungkook's is honestly so good, and the author describes the scenes so perfectly its like we're there with jungkook, annoyed at the world. These two chapters definitely got my attention and i have a feeling ill be binging this in a near future. I can't wait to see how the author develop the other boys, how they'll introduce them... im getting excited now” [anon]

MONSTER UNDER THE BED written by Born2beSad

— Summary; Namjoon’s new apartment came with a little more than he was expecting… …luckily for him and his nighttime visitor, he’s into it. — Disclaimer; tentacles pwp, monsters,

bookclub; review

“This is such an interesting twist on the tentacle genre! I loved jimin and Joon's dynamic, although definitely wrong...but in a universe with monster under the beds i don't think that matters. Jimin as a character was weirdly endearing, and you can't help yourself from feeling sorry for him and his loneliness, and relieved he found Joon. And well, Joon is leaving his best life, so props to him for sticking around. The writing was impeccable, will definitely be going through the authors fics in a near future” [anon]

“I'm a lil bit of a newbie with tentacle porn reading wise and def haven't tried it writing wise but THIS WAS THE SHIIITTTT I LOVED IT SO MUCH (and lowkey highkey brought out a small tentacle porn interest of mine i didn't know i had oop) just the way Namjoon loved it and wanted it I could feel it in my freaking bones and maybe even related to him a littejnerighs i mean it was JIMIN HOW COULD YOU NOT and i loved the sprinkles of fluff in there it really brought a nice relief from the hot, heavy and body tingling smut embedded into it gdfoegg this was so good, such a hot way to depict a monster under the bed concept and the author did it so well also really inspired to dive into this territory of storytelling cause i'm 0.0 intrGUED” [anon]

“So, so good. Many of your general tentacle fics tie so deeply with nonconsent or dubious consent at best. Which is entirely fine, but sometimes it’s so nice to see something refreshing and new, and this fits the bill. While still brimming with great imagery and really well written smut, it also injects a supply of sweet fluff and near domesticity to the situation. Rather than being the ‘boy gets taken against his will by sex crazed monster’ – the relationship is symbiotic, allowing a give and take; even if it is largely physical in nature. I think that sheds such a fun light on the tentacle monster trope. This is one of those fics that I would really enjoy seeing another chapter or two, additional shenanigans that the two get up to with or without smut. Further, I love the descriptors used in the fic, I feel like it painted a really lovely visual that helped the reader really dive into it.” [anon]

“This fic....whew! It is really something! I don't read tentacle stuff and I'm not a fan of bottom!Namjoon but I wanted to read something different for this month. It's a great balance of fluff and smut with how the ending turns out; it's not rape or non-con either, since Namjoon is a huge monster lover lol I can just imagine him with a whole collection of monster dildos. The writing is wonderful too. The way the author set up the beginning without giving things away until maybe halfway through is really well done. Like, you already know Namjoon's going to consent but (at least for me) not in a way you expected. Jimin being a cute, friendly monster who isn't afraid to show his devilish side too <3 I seriously reccomend this to people who like tentacle porn. Maybe even people who don't read it often like me” [anon]

“This was such a surprisingly sweet and fluffy tentacle fic. I love the author's description of Jimin’s duality; the mixture between his sweet pretty features and his black demon tentacles, really feels so believe haha. The ending was so lovely and really put a smile on my face!” [@tinysweetscrown]

INTO THE WOODS written by bugarungus

— Summary; Seokjin wakes up to find he’s been kidnapped by some nature nymphs and their pet. — Disclaimer; tentacle pwp, fae & farieis, dubious consent

bookclub; review

“Oh my, I was completely immersed in this beautiful little universe, the author created. Everything about this fic is so lovely and stunning - from the descriptions of Jin’s everyday life before he meets the nymphs to the actual smut. I loved the bickering between Jimin, Tae and Yoongi, because it truly felt like a “brotherly” relationship. Also the fact that they each were a different “type” of nymph, and especially Tae’s protectiveness of LeeAnn, was so interesting and funny to read. This fic really strikes a perfect balance between a dirty smutty plot with dubious consent without it being too vulgar and uncomfortable to read!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“Wowowowow. Honestly this fic blew me away. There was so much going on but it was all so clear and well written, just… Perfection. The descriptions were so clean and clear and visually stimulating, it was easy to picture exactly what was happening. This is something so hard to do sometimes, especially in smut with more than two people, and this one was four and a plant! I wanted to know more about the nymphs, and their plant – the backstory bet would be so fascinating and amazing. There was so much subtle romance between the nymphs, and even being dubious consent, I feel like that oozed into Jin as well – opening up the idea that the future isn’t going to be questionable. Kind of a happy ending even with a smidge of the darker/dubious consent that laced through it. I think also, the relationship between the nymphs was just really fun. Despite the alternate universe, the characters felt really true to the actual group members. Their personalities matched up great and I didn’t find myself wondering if x would actually say that, do that, etcetera. It’s amazing when you can keep things true to ‘life’ but put them into this awesome fantasy world. Just so, so well done.” [anon]

NICE THINGS written by @kimlinebiased

— Summary; Namjoon is clumsy, even with others’ hearts. — Disclaimer; smut

bookclub; review

“This was such a sweet and wholesome fic! I especially enjoyed Namjoon's letter to Yoongi. I felt like the description of how Namjoon and Yoongi are different really fit so well with at least how I see them irl! Also the call back in the end to "this is why we can't have nice things" tied the whole fic so nicely together and left me all warm and fuzzy :)" [@tinysweetscrown]

“Nice things is such a sweet story, even with the angst thrown into it, you can feel the love yoongi and namjoon have for each other. It make the angst hurt even more, and wraps things up in cute ending. The smut if soft and just right for the story, and you just find yourself rooting for the characters to make it work, and also to pls wrap namjoon in bubble wrap...”[anon]

“A blend of angst and smut, it's really well done. I don't read a lot of canon/idol stuff nor do I write it much, but I decided I'd give it a read. Considering it's Dean writing, I wasn't disappointed haha Namjoon and Yoongi have a really nice relationship and Yoongi's reluctance to get back with Namjoon makes sense given how Namjoon broke his heart. The smut at the end is A+ too.” [anon]

DEVILS HAND by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; There had been rumors, but in the end it was not really a secret that Namjoon loved delicate and beautiful things. Especially when it came down to his lovers and his castle. It was decorated with lot of flowing, long blue curtains, colorful paintings in every room, rows of marble columns leading along every aisle. There was a large garden surrounding the palace, which was by far Jungkook’s favorite place to be – next to the king’s bedroom. — Disclaimer; alcohol, abusive relationships, abusive behavior, (sexual) violence, major character death

bookclub; review

“This fic….. ruined me… When I first started reading it, I was immediately intrigued, because I had no idea where the fic was going! I was so captivated by it, and I HAD TO finish it, but holy fuck I needed like a good day to digest it. The universe the authors created was absolutely beautiful and so well-described that I feel like I, days later, still have a clear image in my head of what the scenes look like - as if I’d seen a movie. The ending was absolutely devastating and painful and awful (but like in a good way) and im so conflicted about the whole thing…………” [@tinysweetscrown]

“alright so another masterpiece by the incredible duo! The dynamic in this story are amazingly complex and layered, the characters interesting and their motives are well thought out.. You can't help but have your stomach tied in a knot after the first chapter, anticipation making you nervous. There's this general feeling that shit will hit the fan and it won't be pretty... beautifully written, bravo!” [anon]

“How. Dare. You. Omg, I just reread this fic and ughhhh the ending breaks my heart every time! I've never hated Namjoon in a fic before. Even when I've made him an asshole, I didn't hate him. But here...he's just such a dick and Jungkook is such a sweetheart looking to please the man he loves. It's such a sad story because Jungkook is a rabbit surrounded by vipers (Taehyung being the only good one imo). I definitely rec it to anyone who wants a good angsty read. I do say mind the triggers though, since it's not for everyone. The writing is beautiful, sets a good pace, and gives detail without going overboard. Jey and Cat really get you inside the character's feelings while delivering really steamy smut scenes.” [anon]

“The Devil’s Hand was such a sad, dark story for all involved. I don’t often read major character death because it makes me so sad, but I think it was really fitting for this fic. There was no winning for JK, and the end really solidified that lesson of not knowing what you have until it’s gone. The relationship between Taehyung and Jungkook was one of my favorite parts of the entire fic. They had such a well-developed friendship and I think that Tae really embodied the person that JK deserved, in a weird way. Though they were only friends, he was loving and trusting and would do anything for JK, even at the risk of his own life. The contrast between how Tae treated him versus Namjoon, even versus Hoseok – it was so stark and telling in terms of the fic and the deeper meanings. I think overall the fic was heart wrenching and so, so sad, but such an excellent piece that really cuts the reader to the bone. “ [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt;��“Sometimes the darkness is too big to keep inside.”

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate!

THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED written by @chimknj

— summary; Jimin was in the room when Hoseok walked in. Only one of them would get out of it alive.

EAT THE RICH (BECAUSE THEY’RE ROTUND AND DELICIOUS) written by @kimlinebiased

— summary; Jungkook had a mission. That mission may involve killing people and burying the bodies. It’s going great… Until the bodies go missing.

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

#bangtanxm #bookclub*#bts #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #march highlight*

25 notes · View notes

jcmorgenstern · 5 years

Text

@superohclair oh god okay please know these are all just incoherent ramblings so like, idk, please feel free to add on or ignore me if im just wildly off base but this is a bad summary of what ive been thinking about and also my first titans/batman meta?? (also, hi!)

okay so for the disclaimer round: I am not an actual cultural studies major, nor do I have an extensive background in looking at the police/military industrial complex in media. also my comics knowledge is pretty shaky and im a big noob(I recently got into titans, and before that was pretty ignorant of the dceu besides batman) so I’ll kind of focus in on the show and stuff im more familiar with and apologize in advance?. basically im just a semi-educated idiot with Opinions, anyone with more knowledge/expertise please jump in! this is literally just the bullshit I spat out incoherently off the top of my head. did i mention im a comics noob? because im a comics noob.

so on a general level, I think we can all agree that batman as a cultural force is somewhat on the conservative side, if not simply due to its age and commercial positioning in American culture. there are a lot of challenges and nuances to that and it’s definitely expanding and changing as DC tries to position itself in the way that will...make the most money, but all you have to do is take a gander through the different iterations of the stories in the comics and it’ll smack you in the fucking face. like compare the first iteration of Jason keeping kids out of drugs to the titans version and you’ve got to at least chuckle. at the end of the day, this is a story about a (white male) billionaire who fights crime.

to be fair, I’d argue the romanticization of the police isn’t as aggressive as it could be—they are most often presented as corrupt and incompetent. However, considering the main cop characters depicted like Jim Gordon, the guys in Gotham (it’s been a while since I saw it, sorry) are often the romanticized “good few” (and often or almost always white cis/het men), that’s on pretty shaky ground. I don’t have the background in the comics strong enough to make specific arguments, so I’ll cede the point to someone who does and disagrees, but having recently watched a show that deals excellently with police incompetence, racism, and brutality (7 Seconds on Netflix), I feel at the very least something is deeply missing. like, analysis of race wrt police brutality in any aspect at all whatsoever.

I think it can be compellingly read that batman does heavily play into the military/police industrial complex due to its takes on violence—just play the Arkham games for more than an hour and you’ll know what I mean. to be a little less vague, even though batman as a franchise valorizes “psychiatric treatment” and “nonviolence,” the entire game seems pretty aware it characterizes treatment as a madhouse and nonviolence as breaking someone’s back or neck magically without killing them because you’re a “good guy.” while it is definitely subversive that the franchise even considers these elements at all, they don’t always do a fantastic job living up to them.

and then when you consider the fetishization of tools of violence both in canon and in the fandom, it gets worse. same with prisons—if anything it dehumanizes people in prisons even more than like, cop shows in general, which is pretty impressive(ly bad). like there’s just no nuance afforded and arkham is generally glamorized. the fact that one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, I will admit, does not help. im not really sure how to mitigate that when, again, one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, but I think my point still stands. fuck you, killer croc. (im just kidding unfuck him or whatever)

not to take this on a Jason Todd tangent but I was thinking about it this afternoon and again when thinking about that cop scene again and in many ways he does serve as a challenge to both batman’s ideology as well as the ideology of the franchise in general. his depiction is always a bit of a sticking point and it’s always fascinating to me to see how any given adaptation handles it. like Jason’s “”street”” origin has become inseparable from his characterization as an angry, brash, violent kid, and that in itself reflects a whole host of cultural stereotypes that I might argue occasionally/often dip into racialized tropes (like just imagine if he wasn’t white, ok). red hood (a play on robin hood and the outlaws, as I just realized...today) is in my exposure/experience mostly depicted as a villain, but he challenges batman’s no-kill philosophy both on an ethical and practical level. every time the joker escapes he kills a whole score more of innocent people, let alone the other rogues—is it truly ethical to let him live or avoid killing him for the cost of one life and let others die?

moreover, batman’s ““blind”” faith in the justice system (prisons, publicly-funded asylum prisons, courts) is conveniently elided—the story usually ends when he drops bad guy of the day off at arkham or ties up the bad guys and lets the police come etc etc. part of this is obviously bc car chases are more cinematic than dry court procedurals, but there is an alternate universe where bruce wayne never becomes batman and instead advocates for the arkham warden to be replaced with someone competent and the system overhauled, or in programs encouraging a more diverse and educated police force, or even into social welfare programs. (I am vaguely aware this is sometimes/often part of canon, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s the main focus. and again, I get it’s not nearly as cinematic).

overall, I think the most frustrating thing about the batman franchise or at least what I’ve seen or read of it is that while it does attempt to deal with corruption and injustice at all levels of the criminal justice system/government, it does so either by treating it as “just how life is” or having Dick or Jim Gordon or whoever the fuckjust wipe it out by “eliminating the dirty cops,” completely ignoring the non-fantasy ways these problems are dealt with in real life. it just isn’t realistic. instead of putting restrictions on police violence or educating cops on how to use their weapons or putting work into eradicating the culture of racism and prejudice or god basically anything it’s just all cinematized into the “good few” triumphing over the bad...somehow. its always unsatisfying and ultimately feels like lip service to me, personally.

this also dovetails with the very frustrating way mental health/”insanity” or “madness” is dealt with in canon, very typical of mainstream fiction. like for example:“madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.” yikes, if by ‘push’ you mean significant life stressors, genetic load, and environemntal influences, then sure. challenge any dudebro joker fanboy to explain exactly what combination of DSM disorders the joker has to explain his “””insanity””” and see what happens. (these are, in fact, my plans for this Friday evening. im a hit at parties).

anyway I do really want to wax poetic about that cop scene in 1x06 so im gonna do just that! honestly when I first saw that I immediately sat up like I’d sat on a fucking tack, my cultural studies senses were tingling. the whole “fuck batman” ethos of the show had already been interesting to me, esp in s1, when bruce was basically standing in for the baby boomers and dick being our millennial/GenX hero. I do think dick was explicitly intended to appeal to a millennial audience and embody the millennial ethos. By that logic, the tension between dick and Jason immediately struck me as allegorical (Jason constantly commenting on dick being old, outdated, using slang dick doesn’t understand and generally being full of youthful obnoxious fistbumping energy).

Even if subconsciously on the part of the writers, jason’s over-aggressive energy can be read as a commentary on genZ—seen by mainstream millennial/GenX audiences as taking things too far. Like, the cops in 1x06 could have been Nick Zucco’s hired men or idk pretty much anyone, yet they explicitly chose cops and even had Jason explain why he deliberately went after them for being cops so dick (cop) could judge him for it. his rationale? he was beaten up by cops on the street, so he’s returning the favor. he doesn’t have the focused “righteous” rage of batman or dick/nightwing towards valid targets, he just has rage at the world and specifically the system—framed here as unacceptable or fanatical. as if like, dressing up like a bat and punching people at night is, um, totally normal and uncontroversial.

on a slightly wider scope, the show seems to internally struggle with its own progressive ethos—on the one hand, they hire the wildly talented chellah man, but on the other hand they will likely kill him off soon. or they cast anna diop, drawing wrath from the loudly racist underbelly of fandom, but sideline her. perhaps it’s a genuine struggle, perhaps they simply don’t want to alienate the bigots in the fanbase, but the issue of cops stuck out to me when I was watching as an social issue where they explicitly came down on one side over the other. jason’s characterization is, I admit and appreciate, still nuanced, but I’d argue that’s literally just bc he’s a white guy and a fan favorite. cast an actor of color as Jason and see how fast fandom and the writer’s room turns on him.

anyway i don’t really have the place to speak about what an explicitly nonwhite!cop!dick grayson would look like, but I do think it would be a fascinating and exciting place to start in exploring and correcting the kind of vague and nebulous complaints i raise above. (edit: i should have made more clear, i mean in the show, which hasn’t dealt with dick’s heritage afaik). also, there’s something to be said about the cop vs detective thing but I don’t really have the brain juice or expertise to say it? anyway if you got this far i hope it was at least interesting and again pls jump in id love to hear other people’s takes!!

tldr i took two (2) cultural studies classes and have Opinions

#wow this was a hot fucking mess #i tried to be organized but my thoughts weren't coming out super well #again anyone interested please feel free to jump in or correct me at any place you feel like #i die on the ''jason todd would be treated horribly by fandom if he were a character of color' hill tho #i could go on about 1x06 until im blue in the face but that's the uhh overview. the executive summary.#dc titans #i need meta tags and shit for this show #god help me in too deep #finding the meta side of fandom was a GIFT tho i love this shit #so excited

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asravine · 5 years

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If in a few years they redid voltron with the original creators, I would watch, because they wanted to do klance (and I even like allurance, but not in the way they did it) and develop the characters correctly. Or, at least, better then what they did 😂😂😂😂 But would you watch?

hey anon!! im gonna cut this answer into two parts bc i have Many Thoughts on the matter but as of now:

short answer: i definitely wouldnt watch a voltron remake by the original creators (in this case im assuming u mean lm and jds, who are the executive producers) and i would be wary to consume any content they produce in the future. even if the vld re-reboot were to be made by another person, i would be cautious to approach it and would probably see the reviews first before watching any of it.

long answer: i was wondering what you meant by the original creators wanting to do klance and where you heard that from!! from what i know lm and jds didnt even think of adding klance as a pairing and it was instead tim hedrick (and a few other storyboarders like chartron) who suggested the possibility of klance (he was the one who included the bonding moment!!)

jds was bouncing around the idea of pairing off allura w someone (and even suggested keith and allura at one point) but ended up going for allurance in s7 on a whim even thou it didnt make narrative sense and regressed both lance’s and allura’s character development, which was also why allurance was done so horribly in canon. funnily enough, i was okay w allurance after s2!! it seemed like the most ‘likely’ pairing to happen and i was neutral about it as long as they had taken the time to develop the relationship in the rest of the seasons. but after how they botched it up by leaving little to no development from s3-6 and then adding a sudden and rushed resurgence in s7, my feelings for allurance soured by quite abit. i dont have any problems w fanon allurance but tbh i dont see how anyone (even allurance shippers) could have been happy w how canon allurance turned out.

the issue i have with lm and jds and the reason i wouldnt watch a vld re-reboot created by them (as well as be wary of any content they create) is due to their work ethic and the pride (or lack thereof) they have in the content they produce. lm and jds have admitted to wanting to kill off the entire main vld cast (and were even given the green light to kill hunk and replace him w acxa!!) in order to create a gritty and dark tale bc of personal tastes. the way they treat their minority characters is appalling (the best example being that they killed off their only female lead of colour, allura), the fact that they dont plan ahead for character arcs is frightening to think about, and the barebones plot they have stitched together that they call a storyline does not have any inherent moral substance or values that could be imparted onto audiences.

as a viewer, i am left unsatisfied and disappointed by the progression (and for the most case, regression) of the characters and as a content creator, i am disgusted by the clear lack of planning the vld team had. lm and jds do not respect the story they are trying to tell. in the case of vld, there IS no story to tell, apart from flashy fight scenes and the cropping up of bigger and bigger villains the team has to defeat. there is no talk about the importance of teamwork or the impact of found family or even the cheesy power of friendship. as such, i fear this would be the trend for any other content they produce which is why im hesitant to look at other shows they might work on in the future (and im esp worried for spiderverse since it is confirmed they’ll be working on the sequels)

i think theres a general consensus that most of the people who still actively engage in the fandom are only staying for the characters. lance, keith, shiro, allura, hunk etc have grown on all on us in these past three years and there was alot of wasted potential that could have been written into the show but wasnt. i think for this fact i would be open to consider a reboot of voltron, if solely only for the characters who never got the arcs they deserved (though i would be hesitant to watch it right off the bat)

i think ive spoken quite abit about my views on a voltron reboot (and my distaste for lm and jds in general haha) but thanks for this ask anon! i really do hope for all of our sakes that if there is a remake that they’ll do better and give these characters and the story justice

#anonymous #klance #voltron #vld #v slur #grace answers #anon #i hope i didnt scare you off w how salty i am about lm and jds #but genuinely thank you for this ask i needed to rant it out #and i hope i answered your question!!

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years

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Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

#quill's swill #quill's swill 2018 #worst of the year #review #opinion

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lollercakesff · 6 years

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the kid

pt 13 | AO3

It’s less than a week after their conversation in his truck that Hopper sees Joyce with Sherry Lawson, a realtor that he’d bedded soon after moving back to Hawkins. The understanding stings and instead of acknowledging them, of walking over and saying hello as he would usually do, he ducks his head and takes his lunch to go without a word.

Hurt and misery flows in his veins for the rest of the day, his mood soured at the obvious rejection of what he’d thought had been an understood middle ground. The way she’d left had given him hope, had let him believe that maybe his feelings were returned, but seeing that she was going through with the move made him ache in a way he hadn’t expected.

So he took his lunch and hid out in his office, calling Cindy at the library to request she start pulling records from the clippings about anything that had to do with Hawkins Lab or MKUltra. It’s a shitty thing to do, to give her all that work, but he doesn’t have it in him to go sit somewhere where Joyce or Bob or one of the kids could come in and make him have to face up to reality.

He picks up the printing on the way back home that night, bringing Cindy an apple as a peace offering and shrinking from her reach as she attempts to smack his shoulder. Promising not to do it again, he lets her kick him out and lock up the front doors without a goodbye, leaving him to carry the binders of photocopies back to his truck in two trips.

Back at the cabin, El recognizes something is wrong. She can sense it like a bad smell, brow furrowing and voice softening as she helps him retrieve the last of the binders from the front seat. Neither of them talk much as they prepare dinner. Instead they focus on the ingredients, Hopper working from a memory of his mother’s recipe as he guides El on preparing the perfect mac and cheese.

“Comfort food,” he grumbles when she looks into the pot quizzically.

“What does that mean?” She questions, slipping back to the table and lifting the cover of one of the binders.

“It’s food you make when you’ve had a bad day. When you want to feel better, I guess,” he replies with a shrug of his shoulders, stirring as she starts paging through the sheets of paper.

“Why are you sad?” Looking towards her, he shakes his head and mumbles under his breath, her attention peaking at the dismissal. “We don’t lie,” she reminds him lightly, catching his eye with a gentle smile.

“Right. I just had a rough day is all. It’s nothing for you to worry about though, I promise,” he says as he tries to reassure her. He couldn’t let this get in the way of finding her family - that was the priority and the rest was just inconvenient timing.

“Hopper.”

“Seriously kid, it’s just some personal issues. An old friend is - “

“No! Hopper - it’s… I think this is Mama?” She lifts the binder so that he can see the page, her face stark white as she watches him. Abandoning the stove, he quickly steps closer and grabs the binder from her to read through the article.

‘Local Woman Sues Department of Energy’ reads the headline, the story going into depth on the case of Terry Ives who believes her daughter was stolen by a man working at Hawkins Lab named Doctor Martin Brenner. The further the story gets, the more ridiculous the claim becomes until Hopper remembers just who El was and the abilities that she’d already shown him. It was no time to write off illogical facts as falsifications - even the most radical of stories should be given fair reasoning with the change in reality as he knew it.

“Are you sure this is her? Are you Jane Ives?” Hopper asks with wide eyes, the smell of the mac and cheese starting to burn distracting him from her shocked expression.

“I don’t know,” she states and pulls the binder out of his hands so he can take the pot off of the burner. Leaving it on the stove, he leans against the counter and rubs his face brusquely as he tries to get his bearings.

“What do you mean you don’t know? She’s your mother,” he mumbles from behind his hands, glancing at her with a pained expression.

“I don’t - I didn’t know her.” Surprise rises through him and when he looks at her - really looks this time - she’s staring at the picture and running her finger over the image with a gentleness beyond her years. “I only saw her in the dark place. And she always disappeared. They hurt her. I saw that.”

An unbearable anger threads into his mind then, the recognition that not only was she deprived of something so basic but that this search may end with no place for her to belong. The article was almost a decade old, if her mother was still alive there was no telling how she would receive El - Jane - after all this time.

The rest of the evening goes by in a blur, the meal not destroyed but certainly of little comfort to him or the kid as they eat it in silence. Afterwards Hopper focuses on the binders until the early hours of the morning, following the trail of Terry Ives and her quest for justice.

With minimal sleep and the unprocessed frustration from the day prior, he heads into work and snaps at his deputies enough that it causes Flo to send him home, “Your bad mood can’t stay today, go sleep it off Chief,” she chastises as she drops his keys on the desk, shaking her head and leaving without a goodbye.

It was just as well that he leave, his attention split between two things that wanted more than he could give. One part Joyce, one part El. Neither of the women who a year ago were more than just figments to him as he was floating and lost in his own deep abyss.

The same distraction that frazzled him at the station followed him to the gates of Hawkins National Laboratory, the security guard giving him a quick once over before turning him away at the entrance. Pissed off and unwilling to take anymore roadblocks, he parks his truck off the side of the highway and grabs his bolt cutters from behind the front seat. Hiking through the thinning brush takes time but he makes it to the fence eventually with a sheen of sweat on his forehead. Clipping through the cheap fencing he squeezes past the hole and creeps his way up to the edge of the building as the sun starts to lower behind the treeline.

Somehow he makes it inside, ducking past the exterior guards and feeling like it’s a cakewalk to make it through somewhere with the military presence of the base where he’d gone through basic. Instinct drives him through the hallways as he wanders around, grabbing a lab coat from an abandoned office and noting down mentally the twists and turns that take him to places of interest. With no direction or knowledge of where he’s going, Hopper determines the best plan is to take the building floor by floor and soak up as much of the layout as he can.

He’s travelled the floorplans of at least the third floor before a guard finally takes notice of him, calling for him to stop before he takes off at a jog towards the elevator. The doors close just before they can stop him and for a moment, huffing and puffing in the corner of the metal box, he thinks he might be able to get away. But then the doors open on the sixth floor and the waiting soldier takes one look at him and butts the handle of his rifle against his skull.

Hopper wakes up later that evening in his trailer, covered in sweat and floundering in his own filth. It takes him a minute to realize where he is, so accustomed now to waking up in the cabin with the smell of the fireplace to greet him that he can’t place himself and it causes a panic to release into his veins.

Sitting up with a groan as his head spins, Hopper touches his fingers to his head and hisses at the sharp pain that spikes. “Motherfucking asshole,” he growls, leaning forward to avoid the way his head spins. It’s then he notices the pills and beer cans scattered across his table, their obvious presence looking staged. That part hadn’t been him - someone else had made it look like if he didn’t wake up it was an overdose.

The realization forces him to his feet and makes the room swoop and unbalance. He takes it slower as he stumbles around the space and tries to find his keys and wallet. If nothing else he was late for dinner and the kid wouldn’t appreciate that - not after all the progress they’d made in the last while. She couldn’t find out he’d gone to the lab. There’d be too many questions and he wasn’t prepared to answer them just yet. He had to go back and try again, if only to see if there were any other kids they had trapped behind those walls.

“Hopper!” The knock on the door is sharp, the voice accompanying it bringing a heavy dread into his gut. He couldn’t deal with Joyce now. Not when his head hurt like he’d been hit by an axe and with his emotions still raw. He needed at least a week. A month. Forever, before he could have this conversation with her.

Doing the only thing he can think of, he drops to the floor defensively and hides behind the couch, out of sight from the windows that he knows she could reach from the porch. She shouts and knocks a few more times before swearing at him, telling him she knows he’s home because his damn truck is in the driveway. “If you don’t open this damn door Hop, I will make you rue the day!”

He stays put like the chicken he is, curling up and closing his eyes until the room stops spinning and the painful light eases from his vision. Eventually she leaves, her car starting up and peeling down his driveway at a quick pace that’s audible with the way the gravel spits up behind her.

When he does finally get to the cabin El gives him the cold shoulder, at least until she catches sight of the darkening bruise along his temple, the one just barely visible against his hairline. She stops tuning him out then and offers to take care of the dishes, giving him a wide berth until it’s time for both of them to turn in for the night.

#the kid #el and hop #stranger things fanfiction #jopper #jopper fic

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millenniumfae · 7 years

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hi fae! i was wonderng if u could give me some advice as an ace poc on this other ace poc character im writing. its for an urban fantasy series w/ 4 main characters, 3 of whom are non white. the character im concerned abt is korean/american and demisexual. ive read a lot of discourse about asian characters being desexualized in media and as a white woman i want to avoid reinforcing those stereotypes, but also keep ace rep. other characters def perceive him as attractive and hes also not my (1/2)

ace character (the other is a white sex indifferent girl). truthfully the story is more about interpersonal relationships and found family with dashes of action than about any of the characters identities. im ace myself and this character is someone i feel i can really get ppl to identify with. do you have any tips about staying in my lane/what to avoid?

Well, let’s be very specific; it’s some Asian men that suffer desexualization in the given term. Largely, when we discuss the Asian experience, we are talking about objectification - the removal of a voice and autonomy in their sexuality.

Desexualizing Asian men often occurs when they’re in comparison to ‘real men’ and ‘real male sexuality’. It’s a quick way to ‘emasculate’ the partners of Asian women, and tell these women that they deserve better than men who can’t fulfill their little womanly desires.

But in my experience, Asian men are much more likely to be objectified alongside Asian non-men, than they are to be desexualized. Because we’re not just talking about your given straight cisgender frat boys in State, we’re taking about any and all sexual individuals who have their own misconceptions of Asian people, and how Asian people relate to their sexual desires.

In my own experience of being aspec and Asian, the primary reaction (upon someone knowing that I am both) is an immediate reduction of my worth as a person. I was invited to this party to stand there and be sexy, not because I’m an actual guest. Insert-fellow-college-student-here will never ask for my peer opinion again, because why bother talking to me at all? Date #1 asks me if I know what ‘asexuality actually means’ and orders me to imagine an erect penis, date #2 turns into a therapist with an obvious intent to ‘cure my trauma’ so they can continue the night as planned, date #3 gets dangerously angry and is seconds from having a meltdown because they ‘don’t appreciate being lied to’.

So as you can probably guess, I’m very much not impressed with the sudden interest in telling Asian people that we could NOT be asexual, and having that movement couched as progressiveness.

It’s more than ‘enforcing stereotypes’. It’s about the lack of real-life Asian voices regardless the material. AKA, a lack of paychecks paid towards us, a lack of media attention, a lack of autonomy over our creative endeavors.

Writing characters of color is a discussion in itself. We (and by ‘we’, I mean both white and not) will most likely encounter characters of color that engage the audience like the audience is white. Or, at the very least, not of their own race and culture.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and it can be carefully justified. A good example includes Raul from Fallout New Vegas - one of the companions the player can recruit. Raul is voiced by a famous American latin-american-speaking actor, Raul’s spanish words are not translated in the subtitles, Raul makes several allusions to his life in Mexico as a Mexican man.

Raul is no token Mexican stereotype, he is a character with strong Mexican backgrounds and stands on his two feet as a character of color. He talks to the player in a way that implies that the player is shoehorned into being not Mexican themselves, but it’s only a slight suspicion and you can also say his outsider’s opinion on the player’s background can instead be attributed to his age - he’s nearly 200 years old, and talks about the world pre-nuclear apocalypse.

Is Raul ‘obviously’ written by a non-Mexican writer? You’d have to talk to someone who’d be more familiar with that, but there’s enough on Raul’s benefit for me to claim that he’s a passible example of a fictional man of color.

So what’s a character obviously written by white people, for white people? Continuing the Latin route, Mass Effect: Andromeda’s Reyes Vidal is… hhhhhh. His face is a white model spraypainted tan, instead of having different hairlines or a differently shaped nose and mouth and forehead and etc. He’s voiced by a white british actor who does an atrocious job at faking some sort of spicy latin accent. He exists primarily as some sort of captivating, mysterious Sexual Being - every interaction with Reyes involves dates, or otherwise hints at sexual histories. Any moment that doesn’t, it’s about his failure as an honest man.

He’s obviously meant to be a sexual interest. That itself wouldn’t be a problem, but add in the fake ‘latin’ accent and spraypainted white model and lack of any indicator of him as someone from an actual culture and society? Very not good.

Reyes is what happens when you take your default white character, and decide to spruce him up for spiciness points. Raul, on the other hand, is someone who was built from the ground up as having that very specific of color experience.

The mistakes that gave way to Mass Effect’s Reyes is what I see most primarily, and it’s what I encourage all to avoid.

So lets consider your goal of writing a Korean man, and compare the worst case scenario versus what you’d want to aim for. So you, under pen name Cassandra Blair, introduce Yoosung Baekhyun (named after your favorite dating sim character and kpop member combined into one), and he’s a lily-delicate elven boytoy when he enters the room. By chapter five, it’s clear that our exotic ricefairy has neither interest nor knowledge of sexuality, leaving him completely out of any sexual discussion - and therefore by extension, he has little voice in any written development in bodily autonomy.

Everything about Yoosung Baekhyun is to be pliant under the hands of an outside force. If he doesn’t have neither an interest nor a voice in sexual discussions, that leaves a big empty hole where anyone could fill it with whatever, should they wish. His lack of voice and autonomy makes him into an object for the purposes of your other characters.

Instead, let’s say that Yoosung has a voice. A large one. He’s got that Jughead sarcasm when it comes to dealing with sexuality, and gets to both start and end these discussions. Suddenly, this Korean man gets to control the flow of the story, and he’s not just a prop to be used.

That’d probably be more accurate, anyways. Aspec people love to talk about their asexuality. I know I do.

There’s very little I can tell you without actually reading the story. Criticism of literature should (and sometimes do) have a huge emphasis on justice-driven portrayals of the marginalized. Thing is, criticism is a paid profession that is useless in small doses. From one artist to another, I say unto you - write your story, but get more voices of color to give you their honest opinion. And then change, and change often. Your efforts will never be perfect, but you can do much to avoid the worst.

#rinkakuleo #asian blogging #asexuality #acephobia #diverse asexuality

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forged-through-trials · 3 years

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Teav gave me a set of robes to commemorate my joining the guild. I tried them on, and found that they fit nicely, though I don’t really think orange is my color. Nor do I think I’ll be wearing them. I’m more of a leather armor gal. But it sure was nice of Teav to offer me some new duds and really make me feel like part of the organization. Now, I have my task; running around the guild castle, introducing myself to the crew.

First up was “Aster Cei,” as he also occupied the main hall. Aster Cei: “I am ‘Aster Cei’, resident cartographer. I also dabble in geology.” Trials: “Does that mean you study the Daedric letter ‘Geth’.” Aster Cei: “No, that’s a G-ologist.” Ruin: He stepped in, and quickly covered my snout, tugging me aside. “Let’s not get on this merry-go-round again.” Trials: I brushed Ruin’s hand away, and offered Aster Cei a hand in greeting. “Well, I’m Forged-Through-Trials, recent hire. And he’s my associate, Ruined-Tail.” Ruin: “Charmed.” Aster Cei: He shook my hand. “Ah, what is your specialty, if I may ask?” Trials: Drawing back, I cracked my knuckles demonstrably. “Punching people who mess with your dig-sites.” Aster Cei: “Oh? Are you here then to help us clear the Spire?” Trials: “The who-what-now?” Aster Cei: “We found it just last week; a mysterious black Spire in the West Weald, encrusted with oddly glowing glyphs unlike anything I’ve ever encountered before. “We’ve run into a few snags excavating it, but... well, I’ll let Teav explain it. I don’t wanna steal his thunder.”

Here’s the main hall, and here’s where I need to go to meet the other members of the guild. First up, since his door was near to Aster Cei’s little alcove, was “Domitian Verus.” So I rounded on the steps, climbed up, and quickly rushed into Verus’ quarters to meet the man himself.

About the first thing I noticed were the bottles littering the floor near him. As we approached, stepping carefully over said clattering bottles, we stood before an Imperial... who smelled heavily of spirits. Verus: Slurred. “Owyn sick again? Did you bring the booze?” Trials: “Hell yeah!” I cracked open a beer. Ruin: Snatched my beer away. “Trials, we’re on the job.” Verus: “Oh, y-you’re not the delivery-lizard? The Delizardry?” Trials: “Nope, I’m a new hire.” I offered him my hand. “Forged-Through-Trials, adventurer, extraordinaire! And my pal here is, ‘Ruined-Tail’.” Ruin: “A pleasure.” Verus: He took my hand and shook it. “I guess I got through to Teave after all. I’ve been telling him to hire some muscle, but he was hesitant. Said; ‘a jock would just slap our research papers out of our hands and dunk our heads in the toilet’. I said; ‘I could just out drink him to teach him a lesson.’“ Trials: “Hell yeah, I’m game! Let’s go!” I crack open another beer. Ruin: Snatched that one away, too. “Trials, on the job!” Verus: “They’ll be time for drinking, later. You’ve sure come at an exciting time, and I’m sure we’ll be cracking open celebratory beers soon enough.” Trials: “Oh yeah, Aster Cei mentioned something about a Spire, but he was evasive on the details.” Verus: “We don’t know too much about it, yet. Just that it’s neither Alyeid nor Daedric, and that alone has got me all excited!”

Next on the list was the High Elf “Sova.” Like most High Elves, she had her nose stuck so far in the air she could poke a new hole through to Aetherius. Sova: “I’m busy at the moment, stranger.” Trials: “...I’m just trying to be friendly, New-Coworker.” Sova: “Oh, you’re the new hire? You do have Ayleid history experience, don’t you?“ Trials: “That’s a big ‘N’ ‘O’ there, Captain.” Sova: “Well, what is your field of expertise?” Trials: Deadpan. “I hit things with a sword until they stop moving.” Sova: “Ugh! This isn’t the Fighters Guild, lizard! We do serious research here!” Trials: I narrowed my eyes at her. “Yeah, you’re gonna be seriously researching the inside of a toilet bowl if you keep givin’ me attitude, lady.” Sova: She recoiled a bit, frowning at me. “Ugh, this is why I told Teav we needed to hire me an assistant.” Trials: “So besides being a ray of sunshine, what do you do around here?” Sova: “I took over the main branch of our Ayleid research after our previous Guild Master, Solan, passed away. His... death was a great blow to our work, and set us back quite a bit, but under my wing I’ve caught up to him and am beginning to make progress anew. “He was particularly interested in the myths and legends surrounding an Alyeid king named ‘Aeon IV’. Trials: “Really? So what was the story of Aeon Flux?” Sova: “Confusing and pretentious as all hell. “But the story of Aeon IV was about how he once suppressed a great evil, and was deified by his people for it. When he died, he was entombed in an elaborate labyrinth beneath his citadel... or so the story goes. We’re missing most of the finer details, unfortunately, but it was Solan’s life’s goal to prove that the legends were true. “I only hope that I can grant that life’s goal and do his work justice.” Trials: “Wow... you must’ve really respected the man. I can appreciate that. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’d be glad to.” Sova: “Thanks for the offer. Listen, sorry about my harping. You’re just not what I expected.” Ruin: “She gets that a lot.” Sova: “I’ll get over it, though. Besides, Verus and Cei have their point. Your talents will come in handy, especially now.” Trials: “Aww, thanks. You’ll see; I’ll earn my keep yet.”

Next up was this Dark Elf lass, over in the southeast corner of the hall. Norlene: “May I direct you somewhere, or did you come to see me?” Trials: “At the risk of sounding like I’m trying to pick you up, I’m here to see you!” I offered her a hand in greeting. “I’m Forged-Through-Trials, and this here is Ruined-Tail. We’re new hires.” Ruin: “Greetings.” Norlene: She set her hand in mine to greet me. “Ah, fresh blood. Good to see you. I’m Norlene; Tamrielic Deity research is my forte. “How about you?” Trials: “I’m an adventurer.” Norlene: “Oooh, Sova’s not going to be happy to hear that. She’s been hounding Teav for an Alyeid expert.” Trials: “Oh, yes, we had the ‘pleasure’ of meeting Sova earlier. She’s about the most Tsundere person I’ve yet met.” Norlene: “Oh, you’re an Akiveeb, too? You’re going to be fun!” She giggled softly. “Sova might not appreciate your talents, but as for me, there’s been plenty of times where I could have used a knight in shining armor.” Trials: “...” I flushed and rubbed the back of my neck. “Is it too late to go back and ply a better pickup line than; ‘I’m here to see you’?” Norlene: She gave me a warm smile. “I’d listen, but unfortunately I’m swamped with work at the Spire. I haven’t even had time for my own studies.” Trials: “What were you studying before the Spire took over your workload?” Norlene: “Oh, the disappearance of the goddess ‘Luminai.’ I first learned about her while helping Sova go through Solan’s notes. Alyeid votive tablets mentioned her and how the Alyeids would offer her prayers, but there’s little information on her beyond her name. “Was she benevolent? Was she powerful? Did she even exist? She could have a long-lost shrine somewhere, awaiting discovery. On the other hand, it could all be myth.”

Once we’d introduced ourselves to the important players, we doubled-back to Teav to report in. Trials: “We’ve met the crew. So what’re we doing now?” Teav: “Good, good. Now you’re ready for your first proper assignment. “Just a week ago we’ve discovered a new, never-before-seen type of ruin.” Trials: “Oh cool, that was about the time I met my Ruin.” Ruin: “It’s really only been a week? Feels like it’s been longer.” Teav: “...” He shook his head. “No, I mean the ‘ancient, filled with treasure’ kind of ruin.” Trials: “Oh! Yeah, the others mentioned a Spire. What’s the deal, there?” Teav: “We’re not sure, yet. All we know is that it is not Ayleid, nor Daedric. We’ve been excavating it, and found an elaborate cave system that might give us access to an otherwise blocked-off antechamber. However, we’ve heard noises coming from deeper within the cave, and I’ve deemed it too dangerous for us to excavate or explore further. “This is, of course, where you come in.” Trials: “Uh-huh, at least you’re up front with asking me to walk into a lion’s den. Well, I suppose this is what I signed up for. I’ll get back to you once it’s clear.”

#the elder scrolls #oblivion #modded #let's play #roleplay #ask blog

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mei-be · 3 years

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I decided that this year, I will make a resolution. This in itself is a bit revolutionary, because I’ve always been the anti-traditionalist, anti-precedent, just anti-. This year is different, because it started off in a fever pitch, whined to a rotten crescendo, and now is whimpering to a close. At the literal beginning of this year, my mental and physical health had taken a major shit in the proverbial bed. I started the New Year terrified, and sick with worry. I had been hospitalized against my will, in a psych ward, and found myself creeping through a very real life version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I had a delusional roommate, haunted by The Man, who watched her and hurt her. Hurt her though food, through medicine, invaded her life, drained her bank accounts, made it so she couldn’t sleep. Now that I was her roommate, he was watching me too, and I couldn’t close any doors, take a shower, or shut my eyes. There was the drooling, heavy lidded non-verbal man, who shuffled through the hallways attached to an IV, and had one hand permanently lifted and dangling. There was the angry kid, who yelled obscenities, and complained about the bullshit, his medication, how he was treated, only to periodically break down in tears and screaming, and had to go into the Quiet Room. The Quiet Room was a very small space, complete with bed decked out in restraints. The only thing missing was the padded walls and the straight jacket. But that would be undignified. A nurse stood behind a little window, distributing drugs at specific times. I asked her why she broke the pills out of the blister pack, into a paper cup, and tipped the paper cup into my waiting hand. Why not just break the pills from the blister pack into my hand. It’s the same amount of touching by the both of us, and then they could reduce that additional waste and cost. My mind works like that. She didn’t know, that’s how they did it.

That week felt like a month, just like this year felt like a new lifetime. Since then, I’ve been going to therapy, seeing doctors, paying attention to my diet, getting regular sleep, and working on the rats nest that is my brain. It’s what you do, and it’s all good and healthy and mindful, and positive. But what I’ve been really struggling with, is the anxiety. My anxiety rips through me like a cancer. It denatures and decays every day, no matter when it arises. All the good I ever did is wiped away, and I’m left with grime and ash. It used to stay in my head, but now it’s ventured out mycelium-esque threads into my body. It makes me weak, it takes the ground out from under me, my heart machine over heats, my fulel expels and lays wasted, my body-cage aches...

It is what it is.

I am circling the drain. I’ve been here before, I’ve seen this movie, and the ending does no justice. Leitmotifs are small, recurring, characteristic of a composition; so much so that they become the composition. I don’t want to be this ring-cycle, I wont cement this reality through repetition. And so, I’ve decided to wage an attack on this misery. An attack in the form of a Happiness War, to make the goal of happiness as if it were a life or death situation. To furiously, religiously, and zealously seek Happiness with an intensity alike to terror; only matched by the ferocity of the terror inside.

So I make a stand, I screw my courage to the sticking place and screw my fear and stick it to my panic. I choose, I chase, I become a champion of happiness. It is the only choice. I remember a story I once heard. A man was telling his friend about hunting rhino in Africa. It had been a long hunt, and he had finally come to meet his prey. The rhino was a dense, black, death machine of a beast. He fired, but missed. His second shot jammed the rifle. Panicked, he looked around, there was nothing but grass in every direction. No weapon, no tree, no rocks to climb. Just grass, heat, and angry rhino. He could hear the rhino’s approach like thunder, he could very nearly feel the animals hot breath on his neck. Entranced in the tale, his friend asked, “So what did you do?” “I climbed a tree right in the nick of time!” He said. “What tree?”, the friend asked, “You said there was no tree!” “Don’t you see?”, answered the man, “There has to be a tree, there is always a tree, you have to look for it, but that is the point of my story. There is always a tree. Find the tree.”

I take constant support and inspiration from this story. Where there is life, there are more stories. So you do the damn thing until it’s dead, or you are. Never give up, never surrender. There is always another way, even when the rhino is upon you. It is always darkest before the dawn, you just hold on. Find the tree.

Part 1. Gratitude

I did an informal poll, and asked my friends on social media some questions about Happiness. It’s a pretty banal question, and definitely leads to a lot of cliches and derivative content. But even though the question has been asked so many times, to the point of being historical, it still echos in the collective heads of many. So here we go, here we go, here we go again. The way that I research and make decisions is such: I read as much as I can about my subject, and disregard the biases of each individual body of work, even though I know that there are definite biases. Instead, I look for repetition. Despite people’s stance or mediated perceptions, I believe that there are certain, close to absolute truths that will emerge, if given enough experience or exposure. This way of digesting information began when I was grade school aged, and learned about the Free Marketplace Theory. Basically, you give everyone a chance, and the quality items will rise to the top, and prove themselves by their worth. No monopolies, no deceitful practices, no bull. This sounds like a great way to go about scholarly work, but you can imagine me trying to buy sponges, or find recipes, or, most everyday things.

So, one of the threads of commonality that I noticed when asking people about their Happiness, is gratitude. Either as a precursor or an after effect, I see a theme of being happy because of what you have. Interestingly enough, it seems that gratitude is interwoven with a sense of, “It could be worse, but it isn’t”. This strikes me as odd, because it seems that a sense of misery, or acute un-Happiness, is necessary for Happiness to exist. One of my friends wrote this, “Hammocks without spiders. Water when I’m thirsty. Really cold soda on a hot day.” This seems like a simple, light-hearted, cute statement, but look at the profound presence of suffering. To experience the relaxation of a lovely hammock, she apparently had previously experienced a hammock that came with spiders. Good god. That seems like a nightmarish exercise in vulnerability. Yet, it is that horror, that leads her to appreciate each spider-free hammock session, and even more; to list it as one of the top things that make her happy. We run from misery, we avoid it, we do everything we can to keep it at bay. But it’s the other side of happiness. To experience Happiness, apparently you have had to sit in the Shit for a while. I’ve thought about the Shit before, and have come to this similar conclusion. When you are faced with the question of, “Why is this happening to me?” Or the ever-popular, “ Why do bad things happen to good people?”, perhaps the answer is, “So they can learn to be very fucking Happy”.

Two key takeaways here: 1. Caveat- The bad things, the Shit, cannot kill you. If it does, then the conversation is over. Don’t let it kill you, if you can. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Where there is life, there is hope, and more story. For those of us who suffer from suicidal tendencies or ideation, this is a point that needs to be made, for we are the ones in the strange position of being both powerless, and the only one with the power over our lives. 2. The Shit cannot become your life. If the Shit is all you see when you look around, you can never gain perspective. You won’t be able to learn from it if you can’t get some sort of distance. Distance, or progress, is the very mechanism of the story. The shit is your conflict, and conflict is the very catalyst that moves the story, into its rising action and climax. In other, plainer words, that Shit has to move, man. A story that ends before or at its climax is bullshit. It’s an artsy literary move, but for me, that’s just lazy writing. Having your audience choose their own ending saves you from having to write THE ENTIRE REST OF THE STORY. Work that Shit, move through that Shit, don’t let it be everything. That’s just shitty.

2. Progress

A therapy that I’ve just began exploring is ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. If you’ve ever even dipped a toe into any sort of counseling or self help, chances are, you’ve come across some form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It’s like the Gold Standard of psychological treatment. It’s based on the idea that your psychological and behavioral issues are based in faulty thinking and or behavior. It’s rooted in repetition, an endless cycle of catching bad thoughts, and turning them into better ones. Often, you literally find the opposite of that negative thought, or look for evidence to support or deny it. You also try to find origins or deeper causes of the negative behavior. The idea is that if you do these exercises long enough, the repetition forms new connections, and new habits. It’s super boring. It works. ACT takes a lot of the same models found in CBT, with one difference. Instead of fighting your negative thoughts, you first accept them. It’s in the name. So, you still go through the rigamorole of identifying your negative thoughts, and trying to find their origins and evidences. However, one deviation that I’ve found really helpful is that there is no way not to choose. By not doing something, you are choosing NOT that thing. Given that you’ve already made a choice, acknowledge that choice. Now that you’ve made a stance, decide the quality of that stance. If you are someone like me, who’s fight, flight, or freeze sympathetic nervous system most often chooses to freeze, and when frozen, reconciles itself into the form of a panic attack, this mode of CHOICE makes a huge difference. Let me lay it out for you in this example:

Conflict: I don’t know what to do with my life, I’m aimless, unmotiviated, torn. It’s too late for me, I can’t do it, I’m not good enough.

Assuming you’ve already gone through your basic reframing thoughts, positive thoughts, SMART goals checklist, you might end with something that looks like this.

I don’t know if getting a Nursing Degree is right for me. It makes sense, and I’ve already put a lot of effort into it, but it’s not what I love. I love foraging, herbalism and dietetics. However, those fields are not sustainable, feasible, or a good fiscal degree. I don’t know what to do.

But today, right now, I am currently not actively pursuing a nursing degree. So, today, I’ve chosen not to pursue a nursing degree.

For some people and some situations, this in and of itself, brings a deep clarity, a relief, and a resolution. But if it doesn’t...

Acknowledge your choice: For the next week, I choose to not pursue a nursing degree. I’m not going to exert energy thinking about it, arguing with myself about it, it is a non issue. I am not pursuing this. What’s left? The foraging, the herbalism, the dietetics. This is your stance.

Now that you’ve made that stance, think about the quality. What kind of herbalist am I going to be? How far am I going to take this? What opportunities can I find?

The idea here is that you’ve redirected the energy you would have spent arguing with yourself, and instead are now pointed toward a more productive path. You may circle back to the original decision, but now, you’ve moved forward in the journey instead of being stuck at the beginning quandary. You’ve expanded.

3. Presence

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thorne93 · 6 years

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The Right Path (Part 1)

Prompt: (From request) Hi! I was wondering, would you it be okay to request a Charles Xavier x telepath!reader? Where they have a mind link since their ability first showed up and so they already know each other even before theyve actually met and then he finds her when he first uses Cerebo and he and Erik go to her first?? Its an idea ive had for a while, but im not nearly an amazing writer like you!

Word Count: 1903

Warning: language (maybe??), child abuse, mental and physical abuse, depression…

Note: I LOVED this request. Thank you for sending it in. I am so sorry it took so long to write. I hope I did it justice dear. Plus, thank you for the super sweet note ; ) Beta’d by none other than @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaeling

James McAvoy: @bohemianrhapsody86 @lenawiinchester

Charles Xavier: @bohemianrhapsody86 @lenawiinchester

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comical. That was the word Charles Xavier would use to describe the dream he had the night before. There were several figures, some with faces, some that seemed blurry. But he didn’t recognize any of them, a single one, or the places he went in the dream. Everything about it was absurd. He was flying in a grocery store, and the car he went to in the dream turned into a metal dragon.

Preposterous.

But something ate at him…The dream didn’t feel like it was his. He felt…alien…invasive. Perhaps his powers were acting up in his sleep, he thought. So over breakfast, he asked his oldest friend and nearly a sister, Raven, if she had any dreams last night.

“No, why?” she asked as she leaned over a cup of coffee, her elbows on the table while steam rose from her mug.

“I had a dream or…I saw a dream, I’m not entirely sure,” Charles confessed as he frowned down at the island in the kitchen.

“Your mind playing tricks on you?” Raven teased as she smiled before taking a sip of the hot beverage. Charles offered a fleeting smile as a response, but was entirely too obsessed with this.

The next night, another dream happened. Again, he recognized no one, no places, not the voices - none of it. How could this be? Sure, he could read minds, even put thoughts in minds, even make himself seemingly appear, and stop time…But he never had his unconscious mind seek out other minds. This was new.

A week or so went by and only one or two more dreams came to him that he could tell weren’t his. He could tell which ones were. The ones about a thesis in his future that he would undoubtedly fret over, the ones about worrying about getting into graduate school, the ones about his parents, the ones with Raven…But never these strange and mysterious dreams of things he knew nothing about.

He decided to experiment.

One Friday night when he didn’t have to be anywhere the next morning, he stayed up. He sat up in his chair in his room all night, waiting for the dream to hit his mind, to ebb at his consciousness.

When it actually worked, he thought he would shout in success, but instead of possibly ruining this, he remained calm and kept his mind relaxed. It wasn’t his dream. Like all dreams, it started in the middle of a story. Someone, a woman, well a young woman, was walking through a house, Charles tried to walk towards her in her mind, but so far he was an observer. Until she looked at him, and then the dream stopped. His eyes flew open with exhilaration. It wasn’t much, but it was progress…

——————-

Your dreams were always weird, sure. You dreamed of zombies, libraries, flying, buying cars you couldn’t afford. If it was outlandish, you dreamt it. The sky was the limit.

But lately, a mysterious, handsome man was appearing in your dreams. You’d never seen him before. At least, you didn’t think you had. You thought you would remember that chestnut hair, striking blue eyes, and creamy complexion. He was stunning. But why were you dreaming of him? Everyone else in your dream seemed…irrelevant, except him. He seemed to always stand out like a beacon.

Over the course of a few weeks it went from him just appearing, to him trying to talk to you but it seemed every time he tried to talk to you, the dream ended or shifted and he disappeared. At first you thought nothing of it, but then it started to be more and more irritating. But soon, the mysterious dream man was the last thing on your mind as life got worse for you.

You suppose you were seventeen when it started. The voices, that is. The first occurrence was at home, at dinner. Your mom was grabbing more napkins when you heard her say, “I wish Edwin would help out more.”

“He’s had a rough day at work,” you responded, trying to defend your father as you stabbed at your green beans.

Your mom spun from the sink where she stood.

“Who has?” she asked and you looked up in confusion to meet two pairs of equally perplexed eyes.

“Uh, Dad,” you answered uncertainly. “Didn’t you just say you wished he would help out more?”

That’s when a look of pure horror lashed across your mother’s face, clashing with her perfect curls, makeup, and strand of pearls.

“No…No I didn’t say that,” she retorted, staring down at you as if you’d just kicked the dog and told your teacher were to shove it. You slunk away from the expression on her face. “What kind of a person can do that?” she thought. You knew she was thinking it because she was looking straight at you, not moving her mouth, yet you heard her voice in your head.

Your father frowned at you, peering at you as if you’d grown several heads.

“What kind of demonic power is this?” he thought as his eyes bored holes into your very soul .

“Mom, Dad…please…” you begged suddenly, tears pricking your eyes as your heart started to race. “I don’t know what’s happening to me,” you claimed as you looked up at them, pleading in your eyes.

“Now, that’s close enough,” your mother warned as she scooted along the counter, away from you, and your father got up to join her. Their faces told you everything, you didn’t even have to listen to their thoughts to sort it out for yourself that they were afraid of you, scared of you…starting to resent you.

“Mom?” you said, reaching towards her in fear.

“You just…you stay over there,” she warned.

“We’ll have no black magic Satanic worshiping in this house young lady!” your father bellowed as he went over to you and grabbed your arm and pulled you to the bathroom.

“No! Dad! No! Please!” you screamed as you fought him but he was double your size and strength.

He forced you into the bathroom, whipped off his belt, and asked, “Are you consorting with the Devil?” he asked.

“No!” you insisted, your cheeks red and hot and wet from all the crying you were doing as you gripped the sink.

“Liar!” he accused as he folded the belt in half, pulled his arm back, and slapped the leather material against your behind and upper thighs. “Ten for every prayer you should say for working with Satan.”

Whack…Whack…Whack.

Each slap stung worse than the last, as the leather cracked around your tender skin and caught your dress.

When he was done, you were drug up to your room and told to stay there until you could be a good child again. You wept into your pillow for hours and hours.

From there, things only got worse…

At school, you thought it would be a handy tool to have to read people’s minds. Just read the teacher’s minds or the student’s minds for answers to things you didn’t know. If this…ability was going to come on without your permission and there was no way to control or stop the ever constant stream of voices in your head, you could at least try to sort through the noise to help you, right?

Wrong…So very, very wrong you were.

Instead of helping you, you now heard what people really thought of you. Your best friends secretly pitied you. Strangers in the halls sneered at your clothing, your intelligence was either mocked or people were highly jealous of it, teachers thought you were too bright for a woman. Boys thought lude things about you as they eyed you and talked to you. Nothing was sacred. You heard judgement, jealousy, hatred, and lust from every corner of the school. It wasn’t like what you thought it would be at all.

Naturally, you distanced yourself from friends, companions, anyone. Your family feared you and when you came home, there was a plate of food for you, wrapped up on the table, that you were to take to your room. This was the routine every night. Your parents thought if you weren’t near them you couldn’t hear their thoughts, but they were mistaken. You could hear them just as clearly as if you were talking to them in the same room. They wanted nothing to do with you. Every so often, your father would ask you if you could hear thoughts again, and since you were raised to not lie, you would tell him the truth, resulting in another whipping.

Without family to enjoy time around, friends to socialize with, you receded into your own mind…rather ironic since you could literally jump from mind to mind. But you didn’t want to. You wanted nothing to do with the negativity, the darkness, the cruelty of your peers. So you focused on your studies, it was all you had left. You were a fairly good student before this…ability took over your life, but now it was your only companion.

Until the mysterious dream man started to appear again several months after the first few occurrences.

He stopped trying to talk to you, instead, he would hold up signs.

“I’m Charles Xavier,” he introduced on one night, holding a sign. You went to say hello but you couldn’t. Unfortunately for you, you could not lucid dream, and it seemed any sort of direct contact between you two always upset the course of the dream.

A week later, he held up a sign that said, “What’s your name?” But you still could not answer him. Try and try as you might, the dream world would do what it wanted and your bizarre dreams would still happen on the same course they were intended to go on.

Two weeks later, he held up a sign saying he was twenty-one. Only four years older than you, now that you had turned eighteen. It was still very unnerving. Was this man real? Was he just something your mind made up? Was he a fragment of someone else’s mind that you had picked up on and your mind was manifesting him into some dream character? If that were the case, then why did he show up without fail as the most predominant feature of your dream, when he did show up? It would seem like if he were just part of another dream, he would be like all your other dreams, where certain people were there sometimes, then other times they weren’t. But he seemed to show up rather often, and every time every feature of him was so real, as if he were standing right in front of you. Most of the time in your dreams you couldn’t feel, smell, or sense things. But him, he was tangible. In the dream you could feel his presence, smell his cologne, see his stubble, if he had it. After a few more instances of him appearing in your dreams, you realized this only happened on Friday or Saturday…You weren’t sure why. You tried to figure out why he only seemed to show up on weekends. There didn’t seem to be a logical explanation for that.

But nothing was logical, was it? Not when it came to what you were capable of.

#the right path #charles xavier #charles xavier fic #charles xavier x reader

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angeltriestoblog · 4 years

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The One With All The Books: My favorites + tips on how to get out of your reading slump!

Ever since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with books: while most children I knew then were preoccupied with Barbie dolls and battleships, I immersed myself in fictional worlds and found trusty companions in protagonists who embarked on adventures that transcended the limits of the physical universe. Back then, I would sleep with them under my pillow, read them in the backseat of our family car even on rather turbulent road trips, and turn to them during boring class discussions.

Over time, they ended up shaping my opinions and world views, fueling my hunger for knowledge, and inspiring me to put my own thoughts down on paper. It's safe to say I wouldn't be the person I am now, had it not been for my love for the written word. Which is why I find it odd that I haven't made any of the standard recommendation posts that would normally be found on the personal blog of someone like me. In an attempt to fix that, I'm sharing with you my eight favorites of all time, not only to give them a fitting tribute (that will still not be able to do their profound impact any justice), but also encourage you to pick up a good read! Who knows, maybe it'll change your life as much as it did to mine!

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

As a kid, I loved both science and fiction, but always saw them as two concepts completely opposite from each other. When I found out that they could marry and live in perfect harmony in a genre of their own, I was over the moon. It was exciting enough, getting to teleport across universes by folding the fabric of space and time, encounter terrifying creatures who somehow parallel actual people on Earth, and learn about obscure scientific concepts. But, the fact that it manages to tie in the triumph of good over evil, and the power of familial love was just the cherry on top for me. I brought this with me everywhere I went for a solid two months, obviously with good reason.

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

My mom had recommended this to me in high school, and I put off buying it for so long because I originally thought I was "too old to be reading stuff like that". Much to my surprise, what was practically disguised as a children's book, with its simple prose and watercolor illustrations, served as both as a moral allegory and criticism of the way adults operate in today's world. Though its length can trick you into thinking it's a fast read, most passages demand to be looked at a second time, reflected on, and shared to the nearest person—if you're the type to protest against annotating, you might have to rethink your stance.

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke

When I was in grade school, my parents had this rule where I was only allowed to buy a new book during special occasions, to control the growing number we had piling up in our house. I remember seeing this in the NBS branch in Glorietta, and having to wait until the end of the quarter to ask my parents to get it for me. Oh, well: as the cheesy saying goes, "True love waits." Although if there is anyone who loves books more than I do, it's Meggie Folchart, as she has inherited her father's gift of bringing fictional characters to life. But, when disaster strikes, as it always does, she must learn how to harness this special power and save her family. The world-building and imagery is unbelievably rich, Funke doesn't just paint a picture in your head: she creates a whole ass movie. No wonder eight year-old me put her up on a pedestal.

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (the entire series, but maybe the third was my favorite) (ok it was, don't tell the two others) by Jenny Han

The blurb at the back of the book certainly doesn't do it justice: I remember finding this at a nearby Fully Booked and putting it down instantly, dismissing it as another cliche YA novel. Sure, Lara Jean Covey has to deal with all five of her unsent love letters to her crushes being mysteriously sent out, but she also grapples with important issues such as identity, family, and—in the third book—the future. I read Always and Forever, Lara Jean during the summer before I entered university, and every single line resonated with me so much I paused at the end of every chapter to take a crying selfie. Plus, Peter Kavinsky is my literary dream boy: if I ever expect my future significant other to take me on a cross-country road trip to go antique shopping, they'll only have him to blame.

Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler

We're taught that we shouldn't judge books by their covers, but I'm glad my twelve year old self decided to brush that aside when she bought this. Although I didn't end up reading it until five years after, I devoured the thick hardbound in a day and a half, and was reduced to a ball on my couch shortly afterwards. I know the book has the most self-explanatory title, but it's just that it takes on the universal experience of first love and heartbreak so authentically. The stream of consciousness writing style and slow pacing may be an issue for some, but I reckon it adds to its charm, as it allows Min to take readers through all the motions of a relationship in a way so relatable, entering her headspace feels like slipping into a second skin.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey

A friend of mine in high school had complained to me that her mother had made this required reading for her, and I suggested I'd take it off her hands for a bit. I ended up going through her copy thrice in a month. (Ah, what I would give to go back to the days when I could still afford to read on school days.) An issue a lot of books that claim to "change your life" have is that they elaborate on these supposedly groundbreaking ideas, yet fail to break them down into doable action steps. Fortunately, Covey shares his practical advice in a structured manner, complete with examples, illustrations, and the occasional dad joke, freeing it from any preachy or condescending undertones. I don't know how to say that this is the only self-help book you'll ever need without sounding like someone from the Home Shopping Network.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

This paperback intimidated me from the moment I first saw it on a shelf, because of the metaphorical title and steep price. But, good thing I got around to buying it eventually: this harrowing story is told by a promising doctor with his whole life ahead of him, who turns into a patient as soon as he is diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. Reading this was difficult, because I knew that no matter how hard I tried to dissect and reflect on the questions of life and death being posed by the author, I could never come close to understanding how he felt. But, that didn't make the experience any less necessary.

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Creativity is a rather difficult concept to talk about in depth, because it seems so abstract. This is why the author advises readers to treat it as a living entity: one that bestows the best of ideas to those who nurture it, complements the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, and demands our full participation despite the looming presence of fear. I finished this on a school bus ride home from school, and the minute I got home, I marathoned Gilbert's TED talks and keynote speeches on YouTube: there is a distinctly tender, somewhat spiritual quality in the way she speaks about her craft, that easily makes you hang on to and follow every word she says.

Now I know books aren't everyone's go-to when looking for a way to pass the time: I've heard people say that they can't find time for it, that there's nothing out there that piques their interest, or they simply don't have the patience, given that social media posts and Netflix shows practically hold our attention spans captive in this day and age. While all are valid points, they can clearly be worked around! I was in a funk during the start of my Christmas break, because I hadn't touched a non-academic book since the new school year had started. But, I managed to finish four in the span of a month, and am currently on my fifth, as of this writing. Here are some tips I have, just in case you want to kick your reading slump in the ass as well.

Start small. Like with any habit you want to build, introduce the behavior in small increments: five push-ups, five minutes of meditation, fifty pages of a novella. Then, once you're starting to get the hang of it again and you don't feel your two brain cells shrieking for help because they can't figure out if "lived" is an actual word in the English language, you can increase it depending on your progress. This happened to me when, thanks to a notably bad case of tsundoku, I had amassed 14 (!!!) unread books in a year. I decided to tackle as soon as my vacation started, so I kicked it off with a rather easy read: Matilda by Roald Dahl, 232 pages thin, with numerous drawings.

Read something you'd actually enjoy! It's gonna be hard to stay engaged in something that doesn't excite or entice you: reading is supposed to be a hobby, not a household chore. Find something written on an interest of yours, a field of study that you've always been curious about, a person that you've looked up to for forever: I truly believe that there is no topic that hasn't been written about at this point in time.

On a somewhat related note, don't be afraid to DNF books that don't satisfy you. A lot of us pick books up because everyone else loves it, and are afraid to put it down for the fear of being othered. But, if we've all come to believe that we should sever ties with people who no longer serve us, what makes it any different for books that just don't touch our lives? I remember reading The Bell Jar when I was 13 because it came highly recommended by someone on Instagram who I found really cool. It was far too heavy for me, but I couldn't find the heart to shelf it especially after how much it cost me.

Remember that physical copies are not the only way to go. Thanks to the presence of audio and e-books, one can now enjoy stories anywhere and any time, without the daunting feel of several pages, or the burden of lugging around heavy hardbounds. (Although you are missing out on one of the best parts of reading: new book smell. Your loss.) One might find it easier to process the information this way, or even appreciate whatever the author has to say.

Talk about it with a friend! They could help keep you accountable in following through your reading goals, give you solid (and sometimes even personalized) recommendations, or accompany you in mourning over the death of a major character. It's always been a dream of mine to start or join a book club for these exact reasons, but I'm afraid this post is possibly the closest I could get to that right now. Nevertheless, I'd love to hear your suggestions and give you more of my own! Drop me a message here (or here, here, and here!) if ever you're interested.

Love and light,

Angel

#recs #angeltriestoblog #life dump #book recommendations #my favorite books #reading slump #this is why i have poor eyesight

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