#and honestly i really don't want to ask all of you to raise my funds once again because i feel like i'm being a fucking lazy
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i truly hate to rant about my current situation rn but
ngl i can feel that this whole period of this semester will be the thoughest one for me in terms of my self financial stability, or honestly saying that this is literally in my lowest point ever rn since it's involving money and it's the most crucial time for me to need it :(((((((
thanks to all you guys, i was able to cover up for my last month's expenses. but right now, i'm still struggling financially to pay for my study fees for this semester and i'm trying to get enough money as possible before january next year, or else i can't able to register for my courses next semester.
i mean i'm trying to looking for some jobs inside my campus but i truly afraid that it might losing my focus on my studies. also i want to consider to find some side income online but ngl i found that almost of it is untrustworthy plus my dad also not very keen about me to do all this kind of jobs 😔😔.
i mean idk but this whole entire thing rn is being fucked off for me personally 💔
#and honestly i really don't want to ask all of you to raise my funds once again because i feel like i'm being a fucking lazy#who don't want to get a job but i just not able to do it because of that reasons#but if it's the only way and my only last chance to make sure all the fees have been paid then ngl i might doing it once again 😢#personal rant#my current situation#mutual aid#financial aid#signal boost#boost
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but i loved you harder - jaehyun scenario
hello ~ so this one is a request and coincidentally i was writing something for Jaehyun. I too am deep in my Yuno feels (i don't think ever recovered honestly😂) hope you like it!!!
if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌
For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)
"Dude, I said no. She'll be so mad at me if I do"
"It's for our funds" Johnny insists
"But-"
"No buts, once we reach like $100 I swear I'll cut the line. I have faith in you"
At this point Jaehyun can't say anything that would stop Johnny. He's thinking about bringing in his last card but he'll save it for the last minute so for now he says yes.
Come the day of the festival, word got around that Jaehyun was going to do the date booth so ofcourse the line was long by the time he arrived there. Johnny right in front calling even more students to join while Haechan stands beside him collecting payments.
"Oh here's our star of the day. Okay so who's up first?" Johnny was answered with tens, maybe 20 or more screams from the crowd. Jaehyun shoots a shy smile before going behind the booth.
It's only the fifth girl before he heard the shouting from somewhere in the back.
"JOHNNY J. SUH I SWEAR TO GOD YOU BETTER RUN" Jaehyun hears you before he could see you. He then looks at Johnny, seeing the nervous look on his face and an even more scared Haechan beside him.
"You're on your own, hyung" Haechan mumbles, hiding behind the 6 foot tall guy.
The girls at the very front and the one Jaehyun was just talking to turns their heads towards you, seeing what the commotion is all about.
"What the heck is this?" you ask, eyes blazing.
"A booth"
You stare down the guy taller than you, giving him a chance to change his answer. "Oh come on, it's for our frat funds. And Jaehyun said yes" Johnny says
"Well" Jaehyun interferes making the three of you look over at him, Johnny shoots him a look while you glare at him. He knows the anger isn't really directed towards him, but you can be very scary when you want to be.
"I doubt that, this whole thing has yours and yours name written all over it" you point at the double AA and triple AAA brothers
"How much do you need to raise?" you ask "Like hundred dollars" Haechan answers
You pull something from your back pocket, a crisp hundred bill before putting it inside the jar Haechan was holding.
"There, done. Show's over people. You, let's go"
"Yes ma'am" Jaehyun gets up from his seat, not needing to be told twice. Following behind you.
When you were a few booths away, he catches up with you. Pulling you back by you arm.
"You're not really mad at me, are you?" he asks
"Depends"
"Hey, I swear I told Johnny no. I was gonna tell you about it but honestly I just wanted to watch you rip at him" he tells you with a smile, his dimples showing.
Just like that you feel some of the annoyance and anger melting away. When you don't say anything back, Jaehyun takes this chance to step closer to you. Holding both of your hands in his.
"Don't be mad, please?"
You roll your eyes at him, all is forgiven already.
"I'll buy you ice cream?"
"WIth two scoops?"
He smiles, intertwining your fingers together before leading you towards the ice cream stand. "Two scoops of cookie dough with extra chocolate drizzle just for you"
"You can't still be mad at me"
Currently you, Jaehyun and Johnny are sitting outside a cafe just to hang out. Even though Johnny gives you headaches half of the time, he is a very good friend of yours.
"You'll be surprised with how long I can hold a grudge" you answer back
"I gave your boyfriend back"
"Exactly, he's mine so stop using him for profits" you bite back, Jaehyun listens quietly beside you. His arm resting behind your chair.
"We got that pingpong table from the car wash benefit we did last summer, we're trying to get a pinball machine next" Johnny says
You do remember that frat event. You've never seen so many girls and some guys line up for a carwash done by a bunch of frat boys. Yuta definitely put on a show, Jungwoo also had fun being the adrenaline junkie that he is following whatever Yuta was doing. Mark and Jeno were more shy about it but had one of the longest line.
And Jaehyun, well safe to say you made him wash your car a few times until the line behind you got tired of waiting for their turn. You were debating whether to cut their water supply line but you know Taeyong would scold you so you didn't.
"Go find someone else" you grumble
"Okay then let me ask you, let's say you're in a cafe inside with another friend and this other friend got cold. Jaehyun's the only one who got a jacket, is it okay if he lends her his jacket?" he asks you,
Jaehyun smirks from beside you, waiting for your answer.
"Do you enjoy having your head attached to your neck?" you ask Johnny
"Come on, will you?"
"Of course not! Did your mom not raise you to always bring a jacket in case it gets cold?" you sassily ask back
"I don't see you bringing a jacket around" Johnny counters
"That's cause I have a Jaehyun. She can get her own boyfriend to borrow her jacket from, but until then have fun being a human popsicle"
Jaehyun smiles, his hand absentminded drawing circles on your back as he listens to you.
It's endearing to him really. To some it might sound like you're too much, too jealous, maybe even insecure but Jaehyun knows it's the opposite. And if he's being honest, he's way worse than you. If sees a guy even looking at you for a second too long he's right behind you hovering, a silent warning to back off.
When in public together, if he's not holding you he'll always be a step away. At parties he would be attached at the hip with you, even going to the bathroom to guard the door for you.
If positions were switched he'd be livid too if he sees you in a dating booth smiling at a random dude. Only he can make you smile, only he can make you blush and laugh and moan.
Shaking his thoughts away, he looks over at you still arguing with Johnny. Noticing the breeze got a bit colder since the sun is setting, he shrugs his jacket off to put it around you
"Oh my god, I cannot with you two" Johnny says as he watches the two of you. Slipping your arms through the sleeves, immediately smelling Jaehyun's perfume around you.
"Like I said, I have a Jaehyun"
It's finally the end of a long week, you invited Jaehyun over your place to cook dinner and have an indoor date to end your week together.
The two of you love cooking together, when you first started dating you used to cook for him and bring him packed lunches. Then one time he invited you over to cook dinner for you. At some point cooking became part of date night and it's now one of your favorite things to do with him.
While Jaehyun stirs the noodles on the pan, he feels you hug him from behind. You stand on your tiptoe to kiss him on the jaw, earning a smile from your boyfriend.
When it's just the two of you, you're more clingy towards him. In contrast with your strong personality around his friends, you're more soft spoken and gentle when it's just him around.
"Your birthday is coming up, what do you want to do?" you ask him
"Do you want to go on a date? It's valentines"
You shook your head, stepping to the side to look at him. Jaehyun peaks down at you, "You don't want to go out?"
"If that's what you want, we can celebrate valentines some other day. I want to celebrate your birthday" you tell him.
Jaehyun smiles at you, rubbing his nose against yours before giving your lips a quick peck. He can't get too distracted since he's still cooking. He burnt something before when the two of you forgot about the ramen you were cooking and got busy making out on the kitchen counter.
In his defense he craved you more than the ramen.
"Well if that's the case. What I want for my birthday is to go on a date with my favorite girl"
You smile at him, "Anywhere or is there somewhere you want to go to?"
"Can I plan it?"
"But it's your birthday"
"And I really want to take you out on a date, give me your day and consider that the best gift you could give me"
You look at him, he looks back at you waiting for you to fold. When you roll your eyes at him he knew he won.
"Fine but I'm getting you another gift, you can't say no!"
The two of you enjoy dinner, cleaning up afterwards before putting on a movie you're not really going to watch.
You'll give it to him, a record time of 4 minutes after the movie starts before he pulled you on his lap to kiss you breathless.
"That's a record" you mumble when the two of you broke apart to catch your breath
"What?" he asked, still dazed
"You made it past the opening credits" you giggle, tangling your hands behind his neck to pull him closer to you until he's a breath away.
"I was trying to see if you really wanted to watch the movie" he smirks, holding your hips down against his
"Liar, you would've distracted me whether I wanted to watch it or not"
"Okay you got me there, but what can I do. I just want to kiss my girlfriend all night and all over. Am I not allowed to do that?" He smiles before capturing your lips again, then he's leaving a trail of kisses along your skin. From your lips to your cheeks to your jaw down your neck. His hands now under your shirt to grip your waist.
"Yuno Jeong, believe me when I say this you are allowed to do all of that to me whatever it is you have in mind right now"
"You, you're all that is in my mind right now"
#story#fic#tags#nct#nct 127#nct jaehyun#jeong jaehyun#jaehyun imagine#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun oneshot#jaehyun au#jaehyun boyfriend#nct imagine#nct fluff#nct oneshot#nct reco#nct scenario#jaehyun scenario
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Family is Forever
Chapter Two
Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader
Warnings: Angst
Taglist: @fxckmiup @ginnsbaker @gb12d @angrywhisperslove @louxbloom @casquinhaa
18+ MINORS DNI
The night was just as hard for Wanda and the twins. Although the two had broke it to the boys softly. Both Billy and Tommy couldn't really sleep either, so they both soon joined Wanda in her bed. As Wanda lay on her back, staring at the ceiling as the soft snores filled the room.
The next morning was just as tiring, even after the twins had gotten on the bus, Natasha had popped over to see her best friend.
"Are you ok?" She asked Wanda who just chuckled dryly.
"Y/N and I are getting a divorce." She told her.
"What did they do?" Natasha questioned as she approached her.
"Nothing." Wanda told her honestly. "It's just, I still love them but I." She turned to face her. "I hurt too damn much even now because they aren't here. They do everything that a parent does for the twins, makes time for their games and competitions but then there is no time for us."
"Did you try and talk to them before you decided to do this?" Nat asked her as she shrugged.
"It wouldn't have made a difference." Wanda whispered with tears in her eyes. "This is what's best for us."
"Where are they staying now?" She asked as Wanda picked up the towel again.
"Bucky's just until they find an apartment nearby." She informed her. "I just miss who we used to be, when we were in college before the twins."
"We can't go back Wan." Nat told her sadly as Wanda nodded.
"I know, believe me." She gave her a sad smile. "I just, before the twins we were ok and we even graduated college before they were born, but I just wish that we maybe never got pregnant at such a young age because they threw themselves straight into work to provide for us."
"Well babies and hospital bills are pretty expensive." Nat reasoned as Wanda nodded.
"Yeah, not to mention buying a house." Wanda scoffed.
"What?" Nat was shocked.
"They never even discussed it with me when they bought this house. I thought we were renting it all of these years but they bought it." She told her friend.
"That's amazing Wanda." Nat beamed. "You don't have to worry about losing your home."
"I know." Wanda sighed. "I'm not angry that they did this, I guess I just wanted to have more of them than I got."
"I know Wanda, but this could be the best thing for the four of you." Nat reassured her.
"Thank you for being here Nat." Wanda whispered as Nat wrapped her arms around her. Holding her as she sobbed.
She wondered how she was going to tell her parents about the divorce. She was worried on their views since they both loved Y/N and knew they would be perfect for their little girl. But she never had to worry as Y/N had already took it upon themselves to tell the in laws.
"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Mrs Maximoff beamed as she ushered them inside.
"I just need to talk to the both of you since Wanda is probably going insane wondering how she is going to tell you." They told the two of them. "We are getting a divorce."
"What?" Oleg boomed as Y/N took a deep breath.
"I am still very much in love with her but I took her forgranted." They told them. "Since the boys were born, I threw myself straight into work and we never really had time to be us."
"Well, raising and providing for a family is a struggle." Oleg stated as Iryna held his hand.
"It is a struggle." Y/N admitted. "I guess I just lost touch in who we were as a couple and Wanda isn't happy and she is set in this decision because as much as I could say it would change and fight for the marriage, I know that would be a lie because of my job and if I were to cut back, we would lose money and the boys college funds won't increase vastly either."
"The boys will be ok for now." Iryna told them as they shook their head.
"I don't want them to have to go to community college. I want them to choose the best colleges for their dream jobs." Y/N told them both. "I also have another fund for Wanda to decide with what she wants to do with it. She can open up a shop, cafe or a bakery. I just want her to be happy and if I am not the one making her happy, I would happily step aside so she can be."
"You are a good kid." Oleg stated as he sat forward. "You always have been and you are perfect for Wanda. Maybe a separation would be best?"
"No, she has her heart set on divorce." They told them. "I just wanted to tell you because I know she will worry about this, especially since she needs you both now more than ever." With that, Y/N bid their goodbyes and left the two.
As Monday fast approached and Y/N had took the day to look at some apartments. Soon falling for a two bedroom only 10 minutes away from the house. Already deciding on taking it, they seen a message from Wanda.
'We need to talk'
Once they had made an appointment to sign the lease and get the keys, they made their way towards the house. Taking a deep breath as they knocked on the door.
"You don't have to knock." Wanda told them as she let them inside.
"I don't live here Wanda so yes I do." They told her firmly. "This is your home." Those words hit Wanda like an 18 wheeler as she poured some coffee.
"I guess so." She handed them their cup before she pursed her lips, leaning on the counter as she kept a lot of distance between the two. "Why did you tell my parents?" She questioned.
"I knew you would worry about their reaction." They answered her honestly. "I just told them the truth about it all and they want to be there for you and the boys Wanda."
"But I should have told them." She told them sternly as Y/N sighed.
"Wanda, if I can't do this something for you, take the stress off of you for once then what type of person am I?" They questioned as they stepped closer. "I know we aren't together but I still want to make sure you aren't stressed and you're ok, because that's all I will ever want."
"Ok." She whispered as she moved back. "I just, I was caught off guard by it." She looked up into their eyes before speaking once more. "Then who is going to be there for you through this?"
"I will be fine." They told her. "I always am." They stepped away from her as they played with their fingers, picking the skin on their cuticles. "I guess I will head out and I will see you tomorrow."
"I'll see you tomorrow." Wanda whispered as she took a deep breath.
Closing her eyes as she heard the door close once more. Her heart was breaking at this moment as she knew there was no coming back from this.
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#marvel#elizabeth olsen#elizabeth olsen x reader#wanda x you#wanda x y/n#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff x you#natasha romanoff
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Nothing's Gonna Change My World
Ch. 8 - i sat on a rug (biding my time, drinking her wine)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Word Count: ~7500
Pairing: Pavitr x F!Reader
Warnings:
THIS IS SMUT. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE SMUT, OR NOT BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS, DO NOT TOUCH THAT KEEP READING LINK. Under 18? Please click out of this post! All characters here are in their early-mid 20s.
things that happen: reader receives oral and it's cash money. Pav aesops a lot about healthy experiences. Gwen gets a little (or a lot OOC).
also found on AO3 and Wattpad.
"I swear, I could have put the damn ring on Miles's finger myself after that!" gushes Gwen from her spot on your couch. She's tipsy, you're each on either your second or third hard seltzer, and your living room is starting to wobble and melt before your very eyes.
"I would wholly support that," you agree.
Gwen giggles in that overly familiar way, the one that tells you she's cooking up something wicked in that brain of hers. She leans in closer, slings an arm around your shoulder and peers at you through conspiratorially-squinted eyes.
"So, (You), how's Pav?" she asks, a lilt in her voice that tells you there's definitely an ulterior motive to this seemingly innocent question.
"Oh, he's great!" you reply, ducking out of wherever this is going. "He just raised another round of funding, so he's going to be able to expand his company more!"
"That's great, but that doesn't answer my question," she says. "How. Is. Pav?" she enunciates. Her top two teeth peek out, pressing into her lower lip.
You start to sweat, remembering the topic of conversation you'd been on. Gwen had given you the New York Times review of all the wild shit her and Miles had gotten up to since you last talked to her. You'd immediately learned that drunk Gwen has zero concept of propriety.
"He is...the best, honestly," you deflect, but voice still deeply earnest. "I mean, can I ask for more than a handsome man with great hair who takes care of me when I'm sick, he even cleaned me up and—"
"zzzzz, BORING!" Gwen shouts. She gives you a good-natured but maybe a tad too aggressive shove on the shoulder. "Skip to the good part, I want details!"
"Gwen, I don't know if I should be—" you try to dissuade her.
"Back when he was with Gayatri, we got trashed and she told me he was eating good, is that still true?" she whisper-growls with a saucy wink, in no way trying to lower the volume of her voice.
"Gwen!" you chide. Blood rushes piping hot to your face, heart absolutely banging off the walls of your chest. Gwen cackles maniacally and nearly spills her drink on your nice sofa.
"Christ on a crutch, (You), your fucking face right now is precious! It's just a lil' girl talk, nothing here leaves this room, you get me?" she rambles.
"Well, I mean, I wouldn't even know what to say about...about—" you stammer.
"Oh come on! It's not like you're some kind of virgin or somethi—wait, holy shit, are you a virgin?" Gwen's eyes widen. You think she looks like a fish staring like that. "Oh my god, you're a virgin! That's so sweet!" she cooes at you. She reaches to pinch one of your cheeks.
"No! No no no no, it's not like that! I'm not a virgin, definitely not, we just haven't—" you race to clarify, hands waving in front of your face.
"Well what's the holdup, then? Are you guys trying to up the sexual tension? Are you saving yourselves for some special occasion or..." Gwen wonders aloud, before tapping her fingers together while her face morphs into a faux-dismayed expression. "You're not scared to be with him, are you?"
"No way!" your rejection of the idea is immediate, emphatic. Gwen doesn't seem to have heard that, however, with the way she keeps on prattling.
"Like, I totally get it, he's Spider-Man, he's loaded, he's got some experience, he's really fucking attractive, that's intimidating and all for, like ninety-nine percent of everybody, but I promise he really wants to be with you too, you don't have to just fantasize when you—"
"Gwennnnn, for Christ's sake, I do not fantasize about my boyfriend and—" you interrupt that very, very salacious thought.
"What?! Why on Earth would you not? Who are you fantasizing to?? Is it Tom Holland??" Gwen questions in rapid-fire, face clearly scandalized.
"What the fuck, Gwen. No," you deny. "I'm not fantasizing about any of these people, I'm not fantasizing, period."
Gwen seems awfully confused by that statement.
"But, how else is a girl supposed to get off by herself? I don't get it."
You shrug your shoulders.
"I don't know, I must be broken or something. I've never had an orgasm," you deadpan.
"You what??" Gwen sits up ramrod straight, flabbergasted.
"What?" a shocked third voice sounds outside the apartment. Followed immediately by a blur of red and blue at the window near your fire escape, and then a heavy crash.
You and Gwen share an alarmed look for a moment. You can almost see the steam coming out of Gwen's ears, she marches over to the window, pulls it open, and with a terrifying force, yanks the eavesdropper into the apartment by the hair.
"Ow, ow, shit!" the voice yelps. It's very familiar, you realize. Because it's your boyfriend.
"Pavitr Prabhakar, you have five seconds to explain to me why in the fuck you were spying on our private conversation—" Gwen starts reading him the riot act.
"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to..." Pavitr's groveling, apologies awkwardly spilling from his lips like a leaky P-trap.
You don't stick around to hear them. You about-face and beeline to your room to curl up and die of mortification, only briefly stopping to consider that you just watched your seemingly-normal human friend drag a superhero into the apartment by the hair, like she might bring in a small bag of groceries.
How much did he hear? Would he think worse of you? Did he hear Gwen talking about his—
Nope, we're not doing this today.
You belly-flop onto the bed. Your pillow makes a great set of earmuffs, and doubles nicely as a dark cave to stick your head into while you hear Gwen and Pavitr arguing (more accurately, Gwen winning the argument in a one-sided fashion while your boyfriend tries and fails to form a coherent sentence) in the kitchen. Your head is spinning, dust kicking up from discussions put to the side for far too long that is now filling your lungs. You're not sure why you and him haven't talked about this, whether it was fear, nerves—
Was he scared of you?
You're not sure how long you're hiding there for, but there's one, two, three soft knocks, the squeal of your door-hinge, then, a dip in your mattress. You know it's Pavitr right away when you feel the soothing stroke of a hand on your upper arm.
"Can I hide under there too?" he softly asks.
The idea of your big, strong, superhero boyfriend being scared of Gwen Stacy makes you giggle (although it's not hard to be scare of Gwen Stacy, if you're honest with yourself). You lift the pillow up and make some room on the bed, he lays down on his side to face you, suit and all, save for his mask.
"I'm sorry if I said anything that was—" you begin.
"I'm sorry I was listening to your—" he talks across you.
You both pause. Pavitr sighs heavily and rubs his sore scalp.
"I deserved that," he admits.
"I'm not so sure you did. The direction that conversation was going was..." you trail off, you gesture vaguely in front of you, trying to communicate something to the effect of "cringe".
"You aren't broken," he says suddenly, determined.
You snap your head up to meet his eyes. They're serious and shine with resolve.
"I'm...I don't get it," you say.
"You're not broken for never having an orgasm. And I'm not convinced you can't," he explains.
You chew on the thought for a bit.
"I mean...I've tried on my own, until I just gave up. That sounds like a 'me' problem," you mumble.
"Look, I know you might not believe me, and I know you might not even be interested but..." Pavitr hesitates, runs his hand through his thick, black hair. "I'll give you one. Or as many as you want, I don't know. And I don't want you to worry about doing anything for me, or for anything to hurt, I just want...fuck, (You), my heart broke when I heard that," he admits. His mouth is wilted into a pained frown.
Your face droops, you hate the idea of sweet, sensitive Pavitr being sad on your account.
"Pav, I don't want to get your hopes up though, I feel bad already that with all of the—the bullshit in our lives I haven't taken the time to think about your own needs and—"
"No. You're the one who had three boyfriends that couldn't be assed with your needs, and were put in a situation where your choice was taken away from you, even though it didn't get anywhere," he cuts you off immediately with an open hand below your collarbone. "The only 'need' I have is the need to show you it can be so, so good when you're with someone who loves you. But only on your terms, only ever when you feel the time is right."
You feel the urge to turn away, but you can't resist Pavitr's puppy-dog eyes, the kind he gets when he sees a stray animal that he wants to adopt on the spot.
"You seem very invested in this," you tell him, like it's a strange idea. Should it be?
"I just wanna make my girl feel good" he cooes. He pulls your face against the hollow of his throat. "Hobie told you once that you could ask for whatever you damn-well wanted, and I wouldn't say no. He's not wrong, you know."
"So you are an eavesdropper!" you accuse him.
"Okay, the Amazing Spider-Man has a minor personality flaw, sue me," he snarks, but is sure to drop a kiss in your hair after the words leave his lips. "My point stands, though. If there's anything you ever wanted to try, I'd love to do it for you. That includes giving you your first orgasm. And your second, your third, your forty-eighth—"
"Forty-eight?" you gasp.
"That's really not that many!" he protests, which earns him a well-deserved flick to the forehead from you. "But, in any case, it's up to you. Like I told you when we first got together, all at your pace, sweet girl. If the thought strikes your fancy, just say the word."
"I'll think about it," you agree.
"That's all I can ask of you," he says, and brings your hand to his lips to kiss your palm.
----
The heat in Pavitr's room is stifling. The air conditioner isn't cutting it, you're in a tee and sleep shorts while he's shirtless in jeans, you only have the energy to watch an old sitcom on the bedroom TV while Pavitr works out the fatigue from your sore feet. You lay with your legs across his lap, hissing when the pad of his thumb digs in to your arch.
"Darling, you have to start wearing actual shoes when doing big chores," he gently chastises you.
"A slipper is a shoe," you argue back. Pavitr's thumb arcs up towards of the ball of your foot and you wince when he lands on a tender spot.
"Your poor, abused feet don't seem to think so," he retorts.
"Well, then you can make it better later with those magic hands of yours, mister 'I'm so good at everything'", you declare.
Pavitr snickers, his thumbs find their way to the lower end of your calf, just above your ankle.
"I'm good at a lot of things, dove, but not everything," he says in dulcet tones, one corner of his mouth quirked up just so.
Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the perfect amount of pressure his hands are putting on your leg. Maybe it's the silky feel of his voice when it resonates in your ears. But today, you start to notice a difference. You feel...aware, like a deep itch, well below the layers of skin, muscle, fat. A thirst, yet, your mouth feels full and cottony from the humid air of the room.
"You're very good with your hands," you praise. The knot in your leg dissipates, and he moves on, this time pressing at the outer side, halfway up near the heart of the muscle. You exhale as he draws slow, deep circles into the tension there, it's achy, but it's pleasant, too. Pleasant in a way that makes your legs twitch, something that Pavitr doesn't miss under his thumb.
"So I've been told. Among some other things," he purrs. This tone has always brought you to your knees when he used it, and he knows it. Today, however, the shiver you feel isn't the same as the others, instead of a nervous, delighted tickle, it curves lower, warmer, lingers a bit beneath your ribcage in a thick haze.
Pavitr lifts your leg by the calf, places an open-mouthed kiss over the imprint his thumb left there. Then, a second one next to it, intentional, calculated. The stuffiness of the room is so much you think you could scoop it into a glass and drink.
"Pav..." you murmur. It's a little bit questioning, a little bit commanding, a little bit hesitant. The show's laugh track rings obnoxious in the background.
"Sonu...you should take me up on that offer," he suggests. Or is it pleading?
"...Right now?" you gulp. You can feel your pulse in your voicebox.
"If you wanna," he affirms. "You don't need to do anything, just relax and...enjoy."
The juncture of your thighs starts to feel uncomfortably sticky against the fabric of your shorts, you fight the urge to press them together.
"What did you have in mind?" you inquire.
Pavitr rolls over to kiss at your shin, then the inside of your knee before crawling up your body to level with your ear, you can feel his breath tickling the shell.
"I think Gwen mentioned to you that I'm happiest when I'm eating well," he husks directly into it, and then traces the inner rim of it with the very point of his tongue. You shiver from the contact, from his words, the way they felt so close to your skin, or the teasing of his tongue, you're not sure which. You're definitely pressing your thighs together now.
"Good luck with that. It's been tried, and hasn't worked," you warn him. You hate the idea of him doing all that hard work for no reward.
Pavitr is nonplussed, he takes your face in hand to kiss you slow, beginning the dance you know well by now.
"Did whoever was trying give you head for its own sake? Or were they trying to butter you up with oral so they could say they did before doing what they wanted?" he asks pointedly, one eyebrow quirked.
You don't have to think about it for very long, you've never been given this on its own. Only before sex, and it'd be difficult to argue they were into it, or trying particularly hard to please you.
"You're probably right. I don't think they were trying too hard at all. But I should have felt...something, right?" you wonder.
Pavitr sighs and sadly shakes his head.
"There's a world of difference if someone really wants take their time and make you feel good, instead of just half-assing it so you'll give in. It also helps to have...skill, which I can promise you, I have plenty of," he slips you a wink and licks his lips, and the subsequent jolt of thrill makes your core twitch. "All you need to know is that this is for you. I wanna give you oral because I love you, dammit. No strings, no bullshit, just very, very good head. I'll give you the best orgasm of your life, and it's going to be amazing. Sound good?"
You worry your lip with your canine, thighs squeezing together at the image he's planted in your head. Pavitr waits for your reply patiently, he's not leering, his expression is fond, gentle. He's never led you astray before, so he wouldn't now, right?
Right?
"But...if I can't?" you trail off, leaving Pavitr to fill in the blank. He does, with ease, one hand takes yours and gives it a soft squeeze.
"If something's not working for you, we can change it. If it doesn't happen today, then no hard feelings, we'll go back to what we were doing. Even if you don't orgasm, sex can still feel really good in and of itself," two of his long, elegant fingers walk along your arm while he talks, voice even and mellow.
"And when you feel done, we'll be done. It's like a conversation, we go down a line, and change the topic when it feels right to," he explains, kisses your knuckles on the back of your hand. "I think I can get you there, I think you just weren't given a fair shake and need someone to actually try. But if it doesn't happen, we can try again another time. Or never, you're wonderful all the same."
You exhale through pursed lips.
"Okay, I'd like to try at least," you acquiesce.
Pavitr nudges your chin with his hand.
"Do you want to try? Or do you just feel like you should because I asked?"
You understand immediately what he's asking. His eyes are soft, but stern, he scans your face for any sign you are simply appeasing him, rather than agreeing of your own enthusiasm. He's searching for fear and apprehension where there should be desire, curiosity. You don't think you've ever been asked this, and while you can't say your past experiences were ever coerced, save for the circumstances under which you and Pavitr met, you're grateful that he's thinking of this.
"I do want to," you confirm. "I'm...nervous that I'll be disappointed again, but what you're offering feels different from what it's been like...before. You've never given me any reason not to trust you, and I'm ready to try if it's with you."
You smile up at your boyfriend, and Pavitr seems satisfied with this answer. His eyes darken further than the rich cocoa they already are, and he leans in to kiss your mouth deeply, explores every ridge, every surface of it with his tongue, a little preview of his repertoire.
"I am going to eat you up so well, for hours," he rasps directly into your ear, leaving you shuddering, getting even wetter at the seam of your shorts. "On my bed, on the kitchen counter, in my car, on my desk at work after everyone's gone home, every damn day if I have to until you come on my tongue. You deserve that much, dove." His lips ghost on the shell, then along the hollow of your throat, where he leaves gentle, slow little nips and sucks while he crawls back down your body.
You have enough sense to turn off the television before he's back over your legs, kisses and suckles getting closer and closer to the hem of your sleep shorts. Your breaths catch and stutter, each little contact a sweet torture that leaves you jumping under his mouth, your center grows slicker and you'd think he could smell you from here.
And then, to your surprise, he stops. He reaches behind you for one of the pillows.
"Lift your hips a bit for me, darling," he instructs, the tone of his voice honey-sweet.
You comply, confused, and he slides the pillow beneath them.
"What's this for?" you ask.
Pavitr grins brightly and plops a smooch on one kneecap.
"So my girlfriend is comfy, of course!" he says in a voice almost inappropriately upbeat for the situation.
Your heart melts at this thoughtfulness, never has anyone you know associated the word "comfy" with sex, but with someone as attentive as Pavitr, you're learning things can be different. Maybe those words should go together, you think.
Pavitr's nails catch on the waistband of your sleep shorts, they pause there.
"Yes?" he asks, looks to you for your assent through the dark curtain of his fringe.
You're frozen in time when you meet his eyes. It's not a particularly hard choice. It's easy enough to say no, sorry you're not ready for that. Or even ask if you can reschedule to next Wednesday, maybe work it in between the gym and your dentist appointment. He'd be happy to drop it and continue doing what you were doing, wait a hundred years if he had to. What sways you is when you meet his rich, coffee-colored eyes and there's no
want I want gimme give it lemme grab tug squeeze grab take have
You're so used to that by now. No, these eyes are soft, round, curious, even. Curious to know this part of you, to share this with you, a whispered secret on the breath of butterfly wings. To give you something that was always denied, see the way your face would light up when you got there. By the look on his face, you knew Pavitr wasn't lusting after you and what was under the shorts, no, he wanted to try, and you knew that he'd only ever try if it was for you.
"Yes," you affirm. There's no warble in the note of your voice.
Pavitr grins, lazily and closed-mouthed, hooks his fingers around the elastic and starts working the whole thing down in one shot, shorts and underwear all. Warm lips press to the bony cradle just above your mound, your hips twitch under their smack.
"Thank you for trusting me with your body, sweet girl," he says. "I promise you, you will not regret this."
The shorts are worked over your knees, your ankles, and then they're off. Your knees drop off to the sides, you ponder closing them for a moment, covering yourself up like the shy virgin you once were all that time ago. That thought doesn't get a chance to linger, as sloppy, sucking kisses are quickly alternating up your inner thighs, firm enough not to tickle, but enough for the muscle to tense beneath Pavitr's mouth with a yelp, the sensitive spot a direct line to your exposed core.
"Aanhh—" you whine as Pavitr gets closer and closer to where you'd really like him to be. He does get awfully close, the rounded point of his nose bumping against the juncture of your hip and thigh, the corner of his mouth brushing the curve of your vulva as he inhales, smiles. Suddenly, the really nice pressure is sadly gone, Pavitr's propped up on his elbows and gazing down between your legs, while you're slack-jawed huffing and puffing from arousal.
"You're really pretty here," he husks. He mouths at the soft swell just below your navel with deep mauve-colored lips, lets warmth curl up there.
"Why are you staring?" you whinge, averting your eyes.
"Why not? This part of you is divine," Pavitr waxes poetic. "And you deserve to be told as much, because it doesn't sound like you've been hearing it."
"Umm...thanks? I guess?" you sputter, incredulously. You want to shrink away from the compliment, but your boyfriend (your insufferable sap of a boyfriend) isn't having it.
"Shush, you," he jokingly chides, his breath hot against your delicate flesh. "Go away. Let me explain to my girlfriend that her pussy is perfect in peace."
"Pavitr, you're obnoxio—oh FUCK!" your words are cut off with a cry as your entire cunt is swallowed up in a sucking kiss, like the ones Pavitr had dotted along your thighs. There's nothing lazy or perfunctory about this, the suction is just right and there's nothing like the way his soft lips feel sliding against your intimate skin. He pops off with a wet, lewd smack that rebounds around the bedroom.
Pavitr snickers lowly at your reaction, and turns his head to take each of your lower lips between his, run his tongue along and beside the soft, fatty parts before delicately suckling the inner lips betwixt them. His next kiss finishes with a deep lick, one that parts your lower lips at the seam and makes you jump when a wet tongue brushes past your clit.
"Good?" he asks, an inquisitive arch on his brow as he attempts to get a glimpse of your face. His mouth doesn't leave your pussy, simply ghosts against it when he speaks. It's a hint of a touch that makes you prickle, teeny frissons along your spine from your core that sprout behind your ears.
"Very," you tell him, nodding furiously, hoping that will spur him to get on with it.
Pavitr smears a messy, affectionate kiss to the inside of your left thigh before securing his hands on the crests of your hips.
"Love you," he purrs. He nuzzles against the inner thigh with his cheek before returning to his work.
Pavitr treats you to a make-out session with your lower lips, his tongue and lips exploring every dip and curve he can find. Every flick, kiss, suck, even gentle tugs between his teeth carries intention, you can feel the weight of it in each stroke. This is not the same halfhearted attempts at the pretense of 'doing his part' you're used to, he's losing himself to the task, eyes fluttered shut behind the ebony drape of his hair as he drinks you down. It's the same way he moves his mouth when he takes a bite out of a ripe mango, your wetness dripping down his chin when he slurps on your sex.
"Pavi....Pav...hah..." you wheeze. Your chest heaves in harsh breaths as a delicious, gentle heat stretches out low in your belly and finds a home there. Your boyfriend steadily continues to make love to you with his mouth, you can't resist locking your ankles together atop his upper back, he responds in turn by scooching your hips just that little bit closer, wanting as close to zero space between his tongue and your intimate flesh as possible.
"Your taste, it's sofuckengood, fuck," Pavitr slurs into your cunt. You notice him shifting around just out of your field of vision.
Is he...rutting his hips into the bed?
Pavitr licks straight up your seam on the flat of his tongue, ends with a suck on your clit that's enough to pull it out of its hood. A sharp bolt of pleasure triggers your cunt to clench around nothing.
"Holyshitholyshitdontstop" you babble to the room. Your feet kick out behind him, your hand that was bunching up the flat sheet flies to his shade-colored waves, tangles in the dense mop of hair to hold his face against your pussy.
"That's the plan, dove," Pavitr rasps. He gets right back to it, delivering the same treatment to every part of your pussy. The two-o'-clock sunlight streams in rich sheafs through the window, it leaves amber dapples on his back that bend and stretch with every flex of his well-developed back muscles, they collect in the valley of his spine, the two little dimples that sit above his waistband.
This? This is nice.
It's nice like this, the both of you laying here, embraced by the mid-day sun. Pleasure laps at you like waves at low tide, it's warm, warm like the sand between your toes. Your boyfriend is taking your pussy apart with his mouth, the touch of his tongue isn't teasing, neither harsh, nor lazy. It's earnest, steady, and oh is it affectionate, too. He's not here to pay some sort of toll or fee to access your body, he's basking in how wet you're getting for him, the plush of your skin against his lips, your heady scent, the sharpness of your flavor on his tongue. Pavitr's mouth cherishes this entire part of you the same way he does to the rest of you with his words. He's in no hurry, but he has no intention of making you beg or plead for your first release, he simply wishes to take you by the hand and lead you there, walk you to the door and kiss you goodnight at the threshold of a place you didn't believe existed. He knows the way, has learned the road well, and guides you there with no fuss.
Yes, you think, this is nice.
It starts out as a fullness, a pressure on the inside that makes you want to tighten up, squeeze around it and keep it from getting out. The pleasure sitting heavy in your belly becomes urgent, it sinks low, low, lower. The sensation is strangely familiar to you, but it's off. You feel like you're about to burst, about to—
"Pavitr, stop, I'm gonna—I have to—" you reach with your free hand to stop him.
Pavitr finds your hand with one of his, takes it and laces your fingers together.
"Hey. No, sweet girl, this is good. You're supposed to feel that. It means you're here," he explains, gives his head a shake so you can meet his eyes without his hair in the way. A thumb strums back and forth along the dorsum of your hand. "All you have to do is let it ride. I'll catch you, I always have," he reassures.
Your head feels like it's full of bees, it feels like there's a water balloon sitting low in the cradle of your pelvis, it's scary, it's intimate, but you want more.
"You promise?" you ask timidly. It seems silly to ask this of him, but you do anyway.
Pavitr responds with a kiss, the softest one yet, to your lower lips.
"Baby girl, I'd promise you everything," he almost growls into your pussy.
Pavitr renews his focus onto your clit, taking it between his lips and tracing upon it the outlines of flower petals with his tongue. He sups on you, over and over again, batters your pearl about with the point of his tongue, coaxing it out from its protective cloak with a please please oh please pretty please. He does not demand, he waits, arms outstretched. The fullness and urgency quickly returns, you clench down, breath held instinctively. You can't hold it anymore, you yank on his hair, and he moans into your vulva when he feels the sharp twinge on his scalp. You feel like you're going to pop and his face is right there eating you and he said he'd catch you and he's holding your hand when you
pav pav pav please oh please pav i have to
It's warm here
The molten heat nested below your navel loses its shape, pours like molasses down your legs, between your ribs, to the points of your fingers and burbles at your throat. Warm, sticky, wet, spilling out of your core in a steady trickle. Your voice catches in a sigh, the floor of your ribcage drops as the tension eases away in a steady throb, you feel it in your cunt as Pavitr keeps on drawing mindless doodles over your clit with his mouth. It's not fireworks, it's not an explosion, it's sunrise on the roof, three o' clock on the beach in July, it's hot chocolate in December, sticky sweet affection poured into you through your sex and spilling out over the edges. It's a safe place, a joyful place, bubbly, bright, and warm. A place, a home he built for you beneath your skin, in a grove you've been too wary, too exhausted to claim as your own. He presses the key into your palm, at long last, and you are all too happy to invite him inside, in that space between your ribs. Your eyes flutter shut as a gentle tongue laps slowly, soothingly at your swollen flesh, cleans up your release as you give yourself over to the ebb of the tide.
Lips tenderly trail up your mound, your navel, your sternum, your nose. Hands cup your face as the lips find purchase on your forehead, your unfocused eyes open to fuzzy strokes of bronze, charcoal, ivory.
"Yes, Ahava, hello. Hi," Pavitr purrs. Your eyes adjust, the blotches of color wend into a familiar form, and there he is. He's positively glowing, both with a fondness and pride, not of himself, but for you, like he's swallowed down the sun itself. His chin and mouth bear a fine gloss from your wetness.
"Whazzat? Pav?" you burble, your tongue fumbling with the words. You find that you've been curiously transformed into a pile of mush, your corporeal form broken free of its solid container.
Your boyfriend chuckles above you, and brushes a few downy hairs off your forehead where sweat holds them down.
"How's that orgasm treating you?" he smugly inquires.
"...S'nice," you slur, not quite realizing how dopey your face must look. "Kinda feels like I have to pee."
Pavitr covers his mouth with his hands to hide his laughter.
"Alright, well, you hang tight and enjoy the afterglow, beautiful. I just need two seconds to take care of something real quick," he says. You watch as he reaches over the side of the bed and fishes around for something.
"Where are you going?" you ask, a wave of sadness and worry coming over you, remembering past partners who would never stay when the act was said and done, leaving you to your feelings.
"Nowhere, silly," he teases, tongue stuck out. "Just gotta make a wardrobe adjustment, then all the snuggles you can handle, I promise."
You find yourself unable to reply when he works his jeans off of his hips, and the boxer-briefs with them. The tips of your ears heat up like a gas grill when you're given a generous glimpse of prominent hip bones, lithe, defined quads, and an absolutely sumptuous ass that makes your mouth water, you resist the urge to sink your teeth into it.
"Hey, Pavitr, I can, 'yanno, return the favor," you offer.
"Oh, that won't be necessary," he quickly replies as he skips the boxer briefs and pulls on a pair of sweats he'd left on the floor. A hint of something you can't put your finger on tinges the timbre of his voice, and that's when you notice the flush in his cheeks.
Oh.
"Pav...did you...?" you hesitate to say it out loud, your brain refusing to form the words.
Pavitr crawls up the bed next to you, immediately rewarding you with the tightest, most perfect snuggle he's ever given you. You're face to face, noses but a hair's breadth apart.
"As a matter of fact, I did," he admits, turning his cheek into the pillow. "Knowing I was giving you this experience and seeing how much you were enjoying it, it was so damn erotic and I couldn't help but go off the edge with you. Imagine that, being the woman that made Spider-Man come in his pants by just being."
"Well, I'm glad I could do that for you," you jape. Your head feels less foggy, the afterglow abating to something cozy and secure, nicely contained in Pavitr's hold.
"I'm glad I could do this for you," he counters with a tap of a finger to your nose. "This was all for you, anyway, you owe me nothing. I knew you could do it, and I'm so proud of you. You just needed a patient hand. Or tongue," he winks.
"You're insufferable," you groan, burying your head against his bare chest. Pavitr chortles and kisses the top of your head.
"I'm talented. And I have many, many orgasms to make up for," he rebukes. His voice feels like silk, it's dripping with ego and it makes your mouth go dry.
"Hopefully they're all like this one was. I keep hearing that it's supposed to be...erm...explosive, but this one was just...nice," you comment.
Pavitr considers this a moment, and then you know you fucked up when you see his lips quirk into a wicked grin, a devilish gleam in his eye as one hand tightens its grip around your bare hip.
"I see...say, I don't think I ever returned the favor for that upside down kiss you gave me when we met," he muses aloud.
"No, I don't believe you did," you confirm, wondering where he's going with this.
"Oh..." he rises to a kneel on the bed, the covers falling away to expose your calves. "Then I guess now might be a good time to do just that," he proposes.
"What do you mean by tha—ohgod!" you yip, as Pavitr uses his enhanced strength to pull you down the bed by your ankles, and then hoist your thighs all the way up to his ears, his hands settling on your hips. You're nearly suspended entirely upside-down and he's immediately ravaging your sensitive cunt with this mouth, lewd smacks rebound around the room as the blade of his tongue digs deep between your lower lips.
"Jesus fuck, Pav, why are you so good at everything?" you whine, your heels thumping against his back, an expression of the pleasure rapidly coursing through your body.
Pavitr doesn't reply to this, only hums an acknowledgement into your pussy. At this angle, the extra pressure from his face on your clit does a lot of work, and being manhandled by your superhero boyfriend like a ragdoll...yes please. His fingers curl into the flesh of your thighs, his lips lathe aggressively at your inner lips and clit, you can only watch as he pulls his head up just enough to tug at them with a firm suck that makes something deep in your core light up like Christmas, and then releases them with a salacious pop before going right back in to swallow, to consume, to lap you up until there's nothing left to. Pavitr's playing for keeps this time, he's not looking for a gentle release, he wants to give you the orgasm you've only heard about in stories, one that knocks you on your ass that you'll still feel the next morning. He's nothing if not a show-off, and that trait of his is on full display.
"Pavitr Prabhak—ah!" you moan, your legs flailing behind him. "You smug jackass! It's not faaaaaaair!"
Your kicking and screaming (literally) does nothing. Pavitr doesn't let up, his lips and tongue devour and his face smashes into your pussy in relentless pursuit of your climax. You squirm, but his mouth chases, and with you upside down in what you would have never expected the Spider-Man kiss to entail, you're helpless to stop it, vulnerable and ripe for the taking. But you're safe. Cared for. Loved. You can feel it in how his grip on you is gentle enough to leave no marks, the way his thumbs stroke over the skin there. The way he bends forward just enough to keep your head and shoulders on the pillow so you won't hit them on anything, or get dizzy. This scene is filthy, pornographic even with his athleticism, but as your second peak of the night comes hurtling at you, neither of you have ever felt more in love than you do right now. You have trusted him with your body in all ways like you rarely have before, and he's more than shown you he's worthy.
You come with a shout, you clench hard on empty space until you can't, it feels like a sneeze, an insane blossom of pure ecstasy from your center that blooms in a riot of red, pink, yellow, orange behind your eyelids. You feel your cunt gushing, squirting even, followed by an immense relief. Your heart pounds in your ears, your ribcage struggles to expand and contract with your breathing, it feels like you're flying, soaring in the wind. There's a fizzling, tickling feeling creeping along your arms and legs and worming its way into your brain, your pussy feels aflame, overtaxed despite the calming strokes Pavitr is now using to soak up your juices. Your abs feel sore, and you feel physically and emotionally drained, the overstimulation hits all at once, and—are you crying?
"Awww little love, it's okay. Come here, darling, I've gotcha, shhhh," Pavitr's voice breaks through the swell of emotions frothing in your chest, he sets your legs down and bundles you close beneath the blankets. "You've been through a lot of new things today, sonu. You're overwhelmed, it's completely normal and your mind just needs a minute to sort itself out," he explains, you turn your head to see all traces of mischief gone from it, only soft features remain. The flat of a hand drags up and down your spine, warm lips dot squishy kisses along your cheek and temple.
"I—I thought I was broken," you blubber. "I've been trying for years."
"Not broken at all, no ma'am, I even double checked," he quips with a wink. It makes you snort and you can't stop yourself from swatting his chest. "You simply hadn't been shown how sex is supposed to be: none of it works if you're not feeling safe or secure first," he says more seriously. The blunt edges of his nails slowly drag along your back, scratching carefully, it's deeply satisfying and it makes you feel calm.
"So you're saying I couldn't for so long because...I wasn't feeling safe?" you ask, past memories starting to click into place.
"Mmm, precisely so," Pavitr hums. An unhurried kiss is fluttered against your lips, the flavor a bit different than the ones before, you wonder if it's you that you're tasting. "Sex is art, dove. It doesn't just come down to technique, if your mind is worried or not feeling cared for, you're not going to be able to be vulnerable with yourself enough to feel good, or your partner, for that matter. Your partner needs to be invested in your experience, and not as a means to an end for them," he explains, his nose nuzzling yours now. "That means taking the time to make you comfortable, listening to you and instead of rushing you through, and for fuck's sake, they need to give proper aftercare, Jesus," he finishes his rant with a grumble. The protective hold around you tightens, cuing you to snuggle closer into your boyfriend.
"Aftercare...is that why I got upset when an ex went to play video games when we were done?" you ask, everything suddenly making so much more sense.
Pavitr shudders and pulls you even closer, if that were possible, you burrow into his chest. Your legs tangle together under the blanket as he kisses the space between your eyebrows.
"Oh my God, why are men like this," he mumbles under his breath. "Yes, aftercare is making sure your partner is feeling okay and safe after you're done. Sex is intense, physically and emotionally, and if they weren't making the effort to take care of you like this after, it's no wonder you didn't have any fond memories of it. I hate that those were your first experiences, but that will never happen again, I can promise you that."
"Oh...so right now, this...this is aftercare?" you ask shyly. You think it sounds silly at your big age to be asking this, but since you're both putting everything on the table, you might as well learn for the future.
Pavitr senses the discomfort and tips your chin up to meet his eyes. They're still sparkling, but carry a stern edge to them.
"Hey, there are no dumb questions with me," he firmly reassures, his eyes softening further. "Yes, this is one way aftercare can look. It can also mean things like...like rubbing their back, or watching a movie they like together. Maybe even taking a bath with them or giving them a massage, just little things to reassure them and help them come down gently from an intense moment. It's the best part, in my book," he purrs.
You're inclined to agree. You're all tuckered out, your limbs have definitely turned to jelly with no chance of reconstitution, you feel buzzy on the inside in the best way, and it's warm and toasty here under the blankets, tangled up together, his bare skin on your cheek. You're basking in each other's afterglow and he's lavishing as much affection on you as he's got to offer, there's nothing closer, nothing better than this. Well, except maybe one thing...
"Can we...can we take a bath too?" you suggest, uncertainly.
Pavitr scrunches up his round nose as his eyes wrinkle at the corners.
"You act like I'd say no to that. Of course we can, dove!" he exclaims. "You're the one who had her first two orgasms in a row, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't let you pick?" he's already hefting himself off the bed to carry you there himself.
"Together with me?" you kiss at the juncture of his shoulder and neck, all you can reach from his hold, your feet dangle limply in the bridal carry. Pavitr looks down on you with a besotted expression.
"I like the sound of that," he cooes in your ear as you cross the room. "And I wanna wash your hair with my shampoo again, I loved smelling it on you the next morning."
"But Pav, your shampoo is expensive!" you protest.
"You just had a screaming orgasm, like, ten minutes ago, let me spoil you at least a little," he counters. He nudges the door open where it's ajar with a hip check, being sure not to jostle you.
"That's already spoiling me!" you argue.
Pavitr laughs, deeply kisses your mouth like he did your center, and closes the bathroom door behind him with his heel.
#pavitr prabhakar x reader#pavitr prabhakar#pavitr x you#pavitr my beloved#pavitr x reader#spiderman astv#spider-man: across the spider-verse#across the spiderverse#spiderman india#atsv pavitr#spiderverse pavitr#spiderman across the verse#miguel o'hara x reader#hobie brown x reader#miles morales x reader#gwen stacy x reader#astv x reader#spiderverse x reader#spiderverse x you#spiderverse headcanon#spiderman#atsv#across the spider verse#miles morales#miguel spiderverse
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Help decide the fate of Night City
(A Cyberpunk RED TTRPG poll for my partner and I's home game, propaganda below the cut, and please reblog for a larger sample size)
Help decide the fate of Night City by voting for the new mayor of Night City. You can choose to read the propaganda or cast your vote randomly, but only you can decide the fate of my dear friends
Night City hasn't had a mayor in 19 years, instead, it has been run by a Council of Representatives of each of the major brands that own a share of the city, but recently there's been a call for an election for a singular body to be at the head of the city, as the people of Night City have come to believe the council to be corrupt (and yeah, they think electing one of those said corrupt fucks into office will fix things, but are you really one to judge right now?)
So, let's meet the contenders shall we
First up we have Phillip Roland, Phillip, care to say a few words?
"A Vote for Roland is a Vote for family values. Night City has become an unsafe place to raise our children. Philip Roland understands that if you want to do something the right way, you should do it the old-fashioned way. I promise to establish a foundation for public safety and truly earn the NC's title of 'The City of Dreams'"
Right, and your official corporate sponsor is?
"Petro-Chem"
Alright, thank you, Mr. Roland, next up we have Gerald Albertsun, Mr. Albertsun, a few words?
"A+ for Albertsun, give it already! When the people watch me stream on the Net, they don't think; "Oh, he's gonna fund another war with Croatia" no, they see a guy who screams in his underwear, who also got his start by making Company Garrison 2 tutorial videos, betcha didn't know that!
Uh-huh, right, and uh, your corporate sponsor?
"Danger Gal"
Wonderful, next up we have the Representative of the Hot Zone Hadel Greene
"Let me ask you something, when you look up at the sunset, what do you think of? I think that it's a red sky we all live under, rich or poor. That's why if I'm voted in, I can assure the people that union houses will be built, they will be full, and ready to meet the demands of the-" *mic cuts out*
Wow, that is wonderful, thank you for that Mr. Greene, and, your sponsor is?
*A dubbed voice over an image of Hadel Greene says* "Rocklin Augmentics"
Thanks again Mr. Greene, Now let's move on to Vogel Grill, care to say a few words Mr. Grill?
"Let's get real, the shareholders of Night City know what's best for the people! You don't think the drug addicts on the streets know what to do if you gave them a house, a car, or even a job right? That's why if I'm voted in, I'll ensure the equity of Night City commerce to exceed expectations!"
Wonderful, thank you Mr. Grill, and your sponsor is?
"SovOil"
Right, now, next up is Turanga Ogawa, the Official Arasaka sponsee in this race *interviewer winks at the camera knowingly*
"Arasaka has been the moral compass to which I've lived my life by, they have never steered me wrong. They were so gracious to give people employment, including my fellow candidate Hadel, after the terrible attack in 2023. That is why, when I am sworn in, I shall uphold the same values as I was raised with."
Alright, now, lets take a look at the other side of the gender line here, starting with the fiercest feminist you know, Mrs. Karen Horvolt
"When I'm in charge of Night City, I'm going to ensure it's by women for women, too many men have and abuse too many positions of power, that's why we need to have a feminine perspective. A reset if you will, why don't we make them stay at home and cook and clean for us? Honestly what else are they good for?"
Wonderful, and who is your sponsor in this race?
"See, this is what I mean by men being useless, my sponsor is Continental Brands"
And last, but Certainly not Least, we have Ms. Esperalda Rodrigues
"All this talk of protecting Night City, and no one here has been deployed save for me. Too many unruly characters are let through customs both on to the East and West, why do you think we have such a high rate of violence? You need someone with Military expertise to put people in their place whether they like it or not, that's what I'll do for you Night City."
I see, well, thank you Ms. Rodriguez, and your Sponsor Ma'am
"Militech"
Alright, well, I hope this has helped you to learn a little bit more about each of the candidates and what they can offer Night City, please don't forget to cast your vote this September 11th at your local Night City Polling Station
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maybe someday
Valentine's day.
Roxxi couldn't say she outright hated the holiday- given how it was mainly for companies to exploit and earn more money.
But rather it was just a sore reminder of just how alone she was. Her, Roxanne Fowler, the biggest reporter in Fair City, alone. Maybe not truly alone. But did it count when she was surrounded by a bunch of fakes?
“Heya, Roxxi rocks.”
Roxanne raised her eyebrow at her approaching coworker. Freddy Fahrenheit, the weather man.
“hello Freddy.” Roxanne greeted.
“Y’know with Valentine's coming up I figured-”
She cuts him off, not even mildly interested. “No thanks, I have plans already.”
That was a lie of course. Knowing she would just spend her day cooped up in her apartment avoiding the world. But Freddy didn't have to know that.
She didn't miss how his face turned into a scowl for a moment. Very brief in fact. Not many would notice. But she learned to read faces long ago. For a moment she wonders if she had misjudged him. That was quickly squashed however in the following days where it had been apparent she had dodged a bullet.
Roxxane didn't hate her job.
But it became bluntly clear she didn't get this job off her intelligence. Part of it was for the money her family funded for the news station. And they just wanted a pretty face for the screens. So it wasn't a surprise for Roxxi when people wanted her around. Knowing why.
Still left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Then there was Amazo Guy.
He was like a breath of fresh air. Too good to be true. He was just so…genuine. The first time Roxxane had to do a cover story, admittedly she was excited. Having been somewhat of a superhero comic book fan growing up, it felt like a dream come true. She winded up asking more questions than what was written down for her to ask.
She stopped seeing how overwhelmed he was becoming. Amazon didn't say anything but she could see him holding a strained smile, one she often used.
Oh…
“Sorry..I got excited..and I know that's not a valid excuse…” Roxxi says earnestly.
“It's alright. I get that it's your job and I've had way more invasive questions than that.” Amazo said, trying to wave it off.
The news reporter glanced down at her paperwork realizing she hadn't even begun writing down anything. “Nah these weren't even on my task list. you know what…” She yeeted her clipboard somewhere behind her. “We don't even have to do this interview if you don't want to.”
“Really?” The hero looked at her perplexed but she could also see he seemed a bit relieved.
“Yea, really.” Roxxane said. She found herself meaning it too. More and more often did she start realizing that the ones behind the capes and masks were people too. Constantly having to deal with expectations of others. Often judged and opinions discarded as Long as the others got what they wanted.
Maybe she and Amazo guy weren't so different after all.
Perhaps that's why she began to fall for him. Roxxi hadn't even noticed until she looked at the card she had made. Her face flushed with embarrassment.
Lois Lane to your Superman. She had written.
How cheesy.
a few poetic lines couldn't tell him how much he meant to her. She crumpled the paper and tossed it into a trashcan.
She looked at the photo she had taken with Amazo guy. She really was supposed to unmask him. But honestly didn't care about what her bosses wanted. Couldn't fire her without losing the funding they craved.
She found herself unwrinkling her crumpled card.
Maybe someday…
@blueweirdness
@ninjastormhawkkat
@erraticeris
@lartmacabre
@liloskull343
#My writing#My fanfic#My fic#wordgirl au#wordgirl#wordgirl oc#amazo guy#Roxxane Fowler#valentine's day
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A bit of housekeeping...
I'm so glad to welcome some new friends to this blog, but I just want to make sure everyone knows what they are in for, so here's some quickie reminders:
I'm Jimin ult-biased and a Jikook supporter, so that's mostly what I post about. But I'm OT7 and I love loving on all our boys.
I am streaming and buying for Yoongi, just as I do for all 7, and I am excited that Yoongi will be my first ever concert! But I won't be posting tips and tutorials and reminders and such for D-Day. The info provided for Jimin also applies to all BTS works, and honestly I need a bit of a break as I have a lot of deadlines and some (thankfully minor) health issues to tackle.
Just so you know, I'm a toddler ARMY. Joined the fandom about a year and a half ago. I'm still finding my way, still working through official content. I'm not a big blog. I'm not an important blog. I love discussions and I never mind answering questions, but I'm not clever enough to be anyone's guide, so, please do your due diligence with the big accounts, and we can learn together!
I just cannot stand drama. I don't have the heart for it. It literally pains me when people get meanspirited. So when in my presence, please never ever shade any of the members. Don't share weird creepy invasive stuff. And yes, some things need to remain closeted and bad shit happens in life, but I'm allergic to conspiracy theories and victim narratives.
To the new folks who joined me but have only one or two posts... it's entirely possible you're using a fake account to keep tabs on Jikook accounts. And listen. As long as you don't start drama and spew hate? It's okay by me if you lurk here. You might see things from a new perspective, or you might not. I support your right to make up your own mind. I have no agenda. I will never go into other people's spaces and insist they see things the way I do. Just know, I will block so fast your head will spin if you start up with bullshit. Simply try to be a good human, that's all I ask.
And with that in mind, every time I do anything as a Jimin fan, I ask myself "Would Jimin feel honored by this?" and if the answer is no, I course correct. I am human and I will make mistakes, but I at least know the following to be true:
Jimin loves his members. Jimin has a very special bond with Jungkook. Jimin hypes up other artists. Jimin never brags about himself nor speaks ill of anyone. Jimin works hard in silence. Jimin tells the truth but never shares much of his personal life. Jimin strives to be perfect, but no matter what is always authentic.
All these things are clues as to how he'd like fans to behave. So I act accordingly and hope you do, too.
All that being said, I strongly suspect Hobi will be coming to us again around Easter, and I really hope we ask him thoughtful questions and share meaningful messages of support. Let's do our best to raise the level of discussion they have with us on Weverse! And let's be sure to send him off feeling bolstered by our love, instead of weighed down by our demands for reassurance around his military service.
Right now, I need to take a bit of a rest. It's been a crazy three weeks! PLEASE make free trial Pandora accounts if you are a US ARMY, and no matter what, keep streaming and reaching out to funding accounts to buy.
Let's do our best for our boys and walk with them each step of the way! It's been quite a journey so far, hasn't it?
Love, Roo
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For the headcanon ask game: Bellmére
👻 A headcanon about what scares them
🎶 A headcanon about music
🫂 A friendship headcanon
👗 A headcanon about their clothes
🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence
😺 An animal related headcanon
Run with any that you'd like to answer, and I'll throw in the random headcanon if you wanted to answer that one too!
omG bell-mére!! yes yes thank you so much, this is perfect. anything to help me practice writing/characterizing her.
👻 A headcanon about what scares them
honestly i think this one is the hardest. she seems so fearless! i think maybe she fears failing the people who care about her. we don't get too much backstory from her, but from what i recall, she was a bit of a punk/rebel before going off to the navy. i think she specifically went into the navy to try and shape up. tough love upon herself. we also see this selflessness when they're low on funds, and she goes on her "diet" so her kids can eat. so. yes. i'll settle with fear of failing her loved ones.
🎶 A headcanon about music
she listens to classic rock. maybe calmer-sounding groups like fleetwood mac by the time she's raising nami and nojiko, but i could totally see her having this punk/metalhead side before joining the marines, or while in the marines.
🫂 A friendship headcanon
everyone's best friend. she's like that super chatty acquaintance you can somehow trust right away. very warm, very open, often ends up giving TMI and trying to jam some humor into the conversation, regardless of the tone. i'm a sap so i imagine her and rosinante were besties if they ever got the chance to meet. they'd balance each other out perfectly.
👗 A headcanon about their clothes
there's a reason we never saw what bell-mére wore before joining the marines, okay. it was too much for oda's mind to handle. in all seriousness, i imagine she never really cared too much about her style. very free and loose, grabs whatever from the thrift store she finds first, regardless of gender or size. that's probably how she learned to sew and mend hand-me-downs for nami and nojiko.
🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence
took a liking to firearms. but she was fearless, and had no issue defying authority and breaking formation. she could use her rifle like a club to beat on her enemies if the conditions were unfavorable. the way she jumped arlong lives in my brain rent-free.
😺 An animal related headcanon
dog person. loves them. would feed the strays around cocoyashi whenever she could. dreamed of owning one for herself, if their funds ever shaped up.
free headcanon!
i feel like something happened to bell-mére's parents when she was really little, and she was raised as a village kid. cared for wonderfully, but she still got up to trouble because there wasn't really anyone who was solely responsible for her. and i think that's one of the reasons she was so eager to drop everything and rescue nami and nojiko. i think she knows the pains of being orphaned, and she wanted to give them a solid family she always craved.
thank you so much for this!! 🧡 the bell-mére brainrot i have right now is pretty chronic so i appreciate this dose of self-indulgence. as you can see i answered all of them so that tells you something
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Hi there, thanks a lot for answering my question on Thai bl acting styles, it was very informative.
I just read your review on Light on Me and I love that your reactions reflect my own feelings while I watched that show. It was my second Kbl after where your eyes linger and I love that show so much that it is still one of my top bls.
I agree with your statement on how clever Korea is with tropes, I went into the show and arrogantly tagged Shinwoo as the Seme character and love interest, because of the nature of he and TaeKyung meeting and I immediately spotted the enemies to lovers arc they were on but the show turned my expectations on its head when Daon was introduced and was given all the traditional tropes a Seme and Main ML character is given. I was honestly rooting for Daon, TaeKyung confession to him was everything, until the picture incident. After that ShinWoo got more fleshed out and I found myself jumping ship. I didn't hate Daon for his actions as the narrative treated him fairly and was sympathetic towards him even while it punished him for his inaction.
I was so confused by the end on who I wanted TaeKyung to end up with. The hand hold scene where TaeKyung chose ShinWoo was one of the most angsty I have ever watched, my heart was literally in my mouth❤️❤️
I haven't watched that many Korean BLs(Where your eyes linger, light on me, color rush 1 and 2, first love again, cherry blossoms after winter, semantic error and to my star. That's a lot more than I thought.)
I think their style is my favorite, I like how clear they are about their narrative, how they move towards their goal and use tropes to help the story not become the story like Thailand does
Thailand might have the heat down for their BLs but plot and narrative focus is where I believe they falter, as a lover of plot and precise storytelling, their works don't tend to be my favorites because of this, they are exceptions of course.
I wonder, do you think that the Korean BL industry has the potential to rival the Thai one? I know that due to the strength of Kdramas in the industry it might be hard for Kbls to really make their mark because with Thailand j never would have looked at their ent industry if not for BLs.
I don't know much about the K industry but I once saw that BLs would never be allowed to air on TV in Korea even they were made into long running series of atleast an hour like Kdramas, if that is an issue, how do you think streaming can help out? For example do you think a Kbl with a high budget can be put on Netflix? Wouldn't that be a good alternative?
J would really like to see what Korea can do with it's BLs if provided with the budget.
Sorry for such a long ask I just really like hearing your thoughts.
Bye😘
I think the KBL industry IS rivaling the Thai one. Because of the things you said you like about it.
More importantly it's now sucking in NEW fans, which used to be Thailand's wheelhouse. These days it seems about 50/50 (and I say that mostly because of the new follows I get and what they talk to and ask me about). A few short years ago here on tumblr was all Thai all the time, now KBL is seriously givin ThBL a run for its money.
Shocking that Korea could move so fast. I mean they've done this in less than 3 YEARS! It takes Hollywood 3 fucking years to raise the funds to even think about shopping a script for fuck's sake.
Korea is now very much setting expectations and defining new watcher requirements. Especially something like Semantic Error.
I think Japan has upped production BECAUSE Korea got in on the scene so dam hard and quickly and efficiently, but JBL doesn't have the commercial machinery (or focus) to really dominate.
So It will be Korea as the only one who can rival Thailand, but ON THEIR OWN TERMS. KBL are very intentionally not doing BL on Thailand's terms but on their own: shorter, higher production, using idols, making sure it is very very pretty.
I'm kinda awed. But not too surprised.
Hallyu gonna hallyu.
And yes I think Netflix might snap a very high production value longer KBL asset up, especially after the success of Heartstopper and Squid Game. So far none of the KBLs listed as in production this year have struck me as something Netflix would like. They have specific taste over there. And last I checked they want at least an 8 ep arc of 40-60 ea (12-16 would be better). KBL hasn’t done one of those yet. I’m thinking it has to be a serious adult-leaning one too, like the Korean version of Life: Love On The Line. Or an actual Kdrama BL, like my long awaited gay version of Descendants of the Sun.
#korean bl#Hallyu#kdrama#KBL#K-BL#light on me#semantic error#heartstopper#squid game#life love on the line#descendants of the sun#K-drama#korean drama#korean film industry#japanese bl
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❝ i’ve made my decision. i'm not interested in raising it. i'm more than willing to send you some money if you need it... but if you really want to go through with keeping it, i don't intend to be involved. ❞
... he was brutally honest, as always
"... Eh, is that so?"
Ai's fingers tap against the phone, as her lips purse. Honestly-- She adored this man.
Well.. did she? Or did she adore the feelings, the high of it all? Did she adore actually feeling wanted for once, even despite her cruel past? He bore witness to who she really was, the dark flaws and all, and was able to see her shine as a idol.
Hell, there was a thrill in the secrecy. It was like those types of stories she liked in middle school..
But that was beside the point. It was real now- the morning sickness, the mood swings, all of it. It took all of her patience to not snap or hang up on him- to whip out another mask, another lie, and place it on, to begin acting once more.
"Fine. That's fair. I can handle all of it myself- I won't even ask you to make payments for them with child support and whatnot."
If he could be cold, she'll be colder.
"I can support them as best as I can on my own. Even a idol budget like mine could help fund their futures. So, just that we're clear- Lets just stay friends.. But in the long distance sense, ya know? I do my thing, you do yours."
Ai's smile widened, as she leans back, remarking.
"You're welcome to try and stay in touch if you really want to fall back and try and accomplish this with me.. But lets be real. It'll be ideal if you stay out of our way in the end, 'ya know?"
...It was most likely the mood swings feeding on her slight anger in being left behind, in feeling alone by facing this.. But well, Ai was just plain mad.
She could always apologize later.. yeah?
"Goodbye. I'll talk to you on texts now- I have a doctors appointment, after all."
She hangs up the phone, as she gave a soft sneer. Sheesh..
#𝐓𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 ! - [ IC & In Character Posting ]#𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥 - [ Asks ]#[ IM SORRY IN ADVANCE-- ;A; ]
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9, 11, 19 and 20 for the asks! :D
Favourite OC?
Ithea, it's no contest! She's just been part of my life for so long. After her I really feel like Dante needs serious consideration because he was a side character from an RP in middle school who I continued thinking about and draw pictures of until I decided to put him in a novel like. last year. So obviously I really like him! I also love Gheist a lot~
Sum up one or more of your wips!
Well summaries of my work are very easy to access however I feel like when it comes to Silverwood I usually just do the sort of overall vibe, but I don't know that I've necessarily gotten into the core conflicts of each generation.
1st generation the conflict is between Ithea and her father on one hand and Ithea and her brother on the other hand. Her father is trying to undermine their race for various reasons and she sees it while others don't because she wasn't raised in that culture. She wants to put a stop to him and his bullshit but unfortunately only manages to turn almost everyone against her so things proceed even faster after she dies. The conflict with her brother is personal and if it weren't for his inability to let go of the past, she might have been able to get more done on the actual conflict that she's worried about but sometimes things don't go the way you want them to.
Generation 2 also has two things going on, there's Charlie who gets involved with a resistance group and ends up funding a failed coup d'état, and all the politics going on over there. There is also Cyan, Gavin, and Kaite who are inventing the concept of organized crime. As for the other siblings there is some information about what they're doing but it's not as important to this particular section of history.
Generation 3 is sort of a domestic arc where the siblings end up coming back together and deal with a bunch of emotional baggage, the world is at this point at least relatively peaceful so there's not so much political nonsense going on it really is just focused on the actual relationships of the Silverwood kids as adults and also their children.
In generation 4 everything goes to shit again and one of Ro's grandchildren leads a revolution and takes over the government of 2 separate countries before deciding that one of them is too troublesome and stays with the other one, prompting all kinds of chaos. If there ever is a generation 5 it will probably revolve around the inheritance rights of the throne that Rona abandoned.
What are some things that inspired your stories? Real events? Maybe a dream?
I am often inspired by dreams actually! I tend to have very plot heavy dreams that I remember well so I've used those on multiple occasions. Celestials, Magic Black as Knight, and Northbound are still active stories that are wholly or partially based on dreams.
Otherwise I get a lot of inspiration from the "wow I would've written a relationship like that so much better" LOL
What story are you the proudest of? Why?
The Ghost! It really is exactly the kind of book that I wanted to be producing when I decided to be a writer, I love the characters and the world building and the story, I think it's held up really well considering how long ago I wrote it, and it just honestly means a lot to me. It's really one that I wrote not just because I had the idea but out of sheer love for the idea and the characters and that love has not diminished ^__^
I'm playing this ask game!
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That Fujoshi has read too many bad romance novels. I'm not meaning to imply anything by this question but why not just tell your mom that you got a paycut and then squirrel away $50 or $100 a week under your mattress or in a new bank account? I imagine that you've thought of this already since you're pretty smart but I honestly can't think of why this idea wouldn't work. By the way, thanks for the response to my Alice in Wonderland math ask.
Because, had I a job, she'd be up my ass screaming about looking at my tax returns and insisting to "help" with my taxes. Under the usual threat of homelessness and police if she doesn't get her way.
I can't afford to leave with no buffer of cash to help me recover from the inevitable crash, and a few too many health issues to really risk it. so I don't.
It is impossible to keep any money from her because just as a course of living here she demands absolute involvement in anything I do that involves income, and then demands "her share."
Hell. I save holiday cards from a grandmother. I squirrel away that cash. But she knows that. And she considers that to be her money that I'm allowed to hold. I know this, because I purchased two books off the internet. She absolutely freaked out about this and then, lo and behold, she came at me the next week putting on a performance of how she was "overdrawn and needed money."
.. "How much?" I asked.
"Oh, how much do you have?" was her ominous reply.
I knew what this was when she said that, immediately.
I offered her $200 dollars.
Her response immediately was, "What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What?"
So I said it louder. "Two. Hundred. Dollars."
Again she feigned not being able to hear me and asked me to repeat- it was obvious by this point this wasn't an issue of "old bitch can't hear you" it was a dressed up "raise your offer."
So I screamed, "TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS."
She just sort of stood there aghast, started crying and screamed, "GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND MOVE OUT!!" Which is absolutely something you do after someone offers you $200 to help with a little "oopsie doopsie" bill she may've "overlooked."
Later on she came at me again and demanded I hand over all my savings, or consequences. She was absolutely pissed off that I'd DARE spend any of my emergency funds on anything but her, and wanted to collect that money and choice from me so I couldn't spend it on anything else again. She didn't want "a little money", she wanted over a thousand dollars I'd saved over 10 years.
Then later when I had a dental issue and needed the tooth filled, I asked her for that money back. She stonewalled. Told me instead to get a job (where she could then extract all my cash on penalty of leaving me homeless unless I cimplied) and pay for it myself, after taking what little savings I had.
Short of walk out immediately with nothing and nowhere to go but massive amounts of debt just to exist, and a ditch, I don't really have anything I can do. I really do not want a homeless shelter to be my one and only option. I put up with this bullshit solely because of the singular opportunity to try and study and learn my way out of poverty. The only problem is since she retired she has become an absolute attention demon that wants interaction with me as often as she can get it, and has a tyrant's view of engagement- someone that thinks you're engaged in a conversation with them from the minute they speak to you to the next minute they want your attention again, does not respect if you're doing something else.
I want you to imagine how painful it is to try and do math around someone that has the power to coerce you to get up and do some menial task, not because the task needs doing, but because they want to see you get up and make it your priority and do it.
And why? What is the point of interrupting someone whom is busy with something else? Repeatedly? Spacing out every intrusion and intervention to effectively play keep away with the person and what they're doing?
Oh. Because it's an authoritative way to distract and intervene. Because suddenly you manipulate the value of their time and absorb priority from them, so no matter how precious their time is, you're gobbling up that precious attention and seizing priority from them. It took me a while to really hash out why she is so obsessive about choosing the most inopportune times to want my attention and labor, but after testing it, she only really wanted that attention and action as distractions sandwiched between anything else I was trying to do- she didn't want this intense amount of attention between periods of unscheduled activity or inaction. It was only when I was trying to save time for myself that she decided, "no you ain't" and reserving and overruling that reserved time and space for herself.
So all my studies and practice are done with her thinking I'm just some bedroom NEET she "allows" to waste time playing videogames. If she thought I was actually learning anything I could use as an occupation, she'd be as antagonistic and time stealing as she was when I was trying to learn medical transcription.
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So the past few days Lucille and Aderis did a "maternal coup" which apparently essentially is just the two of them chilling near the front, taking over in laying down the law on what we are doing and how we are spending out time to help keep me engaged and not dissociating into survival mode to brood on existential crisis-es of being near the end of one of the large pervasive and complex trauma-stressors
And its really honestly helped a lot in grounding me a bit cause I'm starting to get back around to the more adaptive thing and realizing that its actually kinda cool, that soon enough we can secure a good income and between my fiance and us working full time and us entirely skipping the "side mission" of raising children, we basically immediately jump into our "main story goals" being literally whatever the hell we like and want to do / achieve. Everything beyond what is achieved is "extra" cause we had "made it" enough to have relative stability.
From there on out, there isn't this larger need for a why related to survival, but rather just a "why not" and while that still sounds rocky depending on when you ask me, I'm really starting to warm up to it. The sandbox mode of this management sim was originally stressing me out and I thought it would have issues with motivation and all, but I guess I'm learning to answer "why should we" with "why SHOULDNT we" after sitting two days up here with our retired ex-primary protectors and XIV who - together - started talking about 'why not' goals because XIV commented that he needed a stool to sit on for his guitar and Lucille commented that we were likely moving so we shouldn't get one yet and should put it on a list of things we want to invest in.
Its also pretty neat because XIV, Lucille, and I are both really keen on setting money aside in the budget solely to donate to causes that matter, donate to people who need it, and to account in our life style to stay within the comfort levels where we don't have to be stressed or worry about 'if we can afford' giving people / donating money to those that need it more.
And that idea just sounds... kind of neat. In a way it kind of reminds me of when I was on my second / third year of marching band where I was no longer a "baby" and I could start adopting and fostering others while casually building my own interests and goals.
I dunno man, it sounds pretty neat. Of course its contingent on us actually getting a job (which I don't actually worry too much on with how Our System Is) but huh.
We can allocate funds into charity, because why not. We can allocate funds into eventually becoming the parrot behavioral master, because why not.
Our system is so adjusted to having to do everything min-maxed and living with only the bare necessities until like... the past year that the idea of no longer needing to be on bare necessities is just... Wild
It's also just hitting me that for a pair of disabled 22 year olds, my fiance and I have really done really good. I still can't necessarily say if it was worth it because I'm very shocked we are alive with the sheer amount of pressure and sheer lack of self indulgence and self care + the grind we've been on since before I can even remember and how much all of that was sacrificed to "do really good" but damn.
I'll probably spiral back if Lucille let me sit down and dissociate brood for more than half an hour, but I'm starting to - just maybe, accept and enjoy the fact that we.... we maybe... we maybe got it???
#alter: riku#this isn't to brag#and don't comapre yourself to us here cause very very very little of how we 'chose to live' that lead to this success was our choice#most of it was because of how we were whipped#and any posts romanticizing this or using us to diss yourselves will be blocked because we aren't your Model Minority#or Model Disabled or anything#i literally can't with that shit#plus there is a reason this is something that barely feels like a positive thing to us#so try not to 'wish that were us'#or 'wow so much better than me'#cause we fucking hate that#actually#no reblogs#only comments if you like#but ugh#just pissed myself off a bit thinking about how so many people do that about our trauma and how fucking damaging it is#im gonna switch to XIV unintentionally if I think about this too long#ANYWAYS#BAck to Riku positivity but like#Huh
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I missed both busses by about a block, so I'm stuck here for about half an hour.....
I'm sharing my location with one of my sisters. There's a dispensary within my line of vision, but frankly, I am genuinely scared that I will not have enough money to get to next paycheck after moving.
I still don't know what, if anything can be done about the misappropriated funds. I'm still going to try what I can think of. I'm so stressed out. I really could have used even half of that money for all of this, but my ex has no honor. I mean, what's honor when you can steal money from someone else to court your new plaything.
And it's like, so is she like, also that bad a person, or is she just dumb? One hopes that doubt is creeping into the back of her head, but most likely she's so caught up in everything. My ex talks a lot about starting a cult.
I didn't think the fucking-their-own-child talk was serious for the longest time, so I am no longer doubting their desire to start a cult. I am just not cult-able material. I am not flexible enough to reshape into the desired form, and I have seen this over and over. The only men I seem capable of attracting into my life are men who don't take it very well when I can't be molded.
But not everyone has received the emotional beatings that I have, and not everyone who has been beaten in any form or fashion has responded the way I have.
If I saw my new lover get served any kinds of papers from the police, I like to think that I'd be scared off. Of course, at this point, if my new lover called their ex psycho, unless he had very solid delineations for why he was doing that, I also wouldn't be having another date. Like, was she asking for something? How often did you really try to do that thing? If I asked you to do something that you don't do, would you really try to do that thing? Okay, well how about you practice in your own home?
I honestly think I need to try dating like a normal person instead of going immediately home with these people--no, not for sex, you fool. I mean, moving basically right in. Normal people live in their own home while dating.
I do not date like a normal person. I'm a little too timid to really try to fall "in love". Which actually may be another reason I can't find my way into a good relationship. I just settle for guys who seem nice enough, but they don't make my heart really flutter. I'm not sure that guy exists.
The mother of a guy I was "friends" with was telling me of her own son, he wouldn't be there for the child, just like his father hadn't been there. She thought this aspect was more nature than nurture, because she did the best she could with her son. Her son tells it a little different, but who's to really say? I wasn't there, and while his mother was trying to be a better person than she had been, her son was not.
The reason I bring this up is, I am not my ex's mother, who apparently ruined them by sending them away constantly. The last thing I want to do is send my child away, knowing personally all the multitude of effects being parented by two different types of parenting groups.
Additionally, having lived with several people who have similar if not same diagnoses to myself and my sperm donor, I have faith in myself to guide a child through learning difficulties as well as mental health concerns. Plus, there is definitely a nurture component to mental health and the failing therein.
I am working on my own mental well being because I strive to be a better person overall, and a better parent than the ones who raised me.
Ugh, I waited for the bus for like half an hour, and I've been waiting to get this move-in money for like, about twenty minutes 🙄
I need a snack. Like, twenty minutes ago.
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Please ignore if needed, as I know it’s a little personal, but how are you saving for retirement? I just got my first big-person job (at 27) and am feeling behind/overwhelmed. Any advice?
Well first off, congratulations on the job! Also I never mind talking about finance, but thank you for considering that when asking :)
I didn't really get to start saving saving until I was in my thirties, and even now what I do to plan for retirement is not necessarily the best plan for everyone. So I will talk about what I do, but first I'm going to recommend that if you really want to take retirement planning seriously you should speak to a financial advisor, especially if that Big Person Job comes with a significant salary. Your bank is a good place to start, or if the job comes with 401K, speak to the company administering the plan, who can generally provide you with someone who can at least advise you on your 401K. Also disclaimer, I am not a financial advisor and none of this is given in a professional context, these are just my thoughts.
There are a lot of ways you can plan for retirement -- a 401K through work, an IRA independent of that (basically a 401K you buy yourself), personal investments, savings accounts, and other more esoteric financial vehicles. The most common is the 401K, a retirement investment account where you put in a percentage of your paycheck and your company (usually) matches it. The money is then invested in various funds that will, at least this is the hope, earn enough interest to keep up with inflation.
My attitude towards my first 401K was that this was monopoly money, not real or meaningful. I had a fatalistic view of it, having just that year (2008) watched my parents, one of whom is a trained financial planner, lose half the value of their 401K in the economic collapse. But my work mandated a 3% contribution, so I bitterly paid in. Rather than throw the money in there and let Vanguard invest it for me, however, I decided to use this "fake" money to learn about investing. I studied how 401K investing works, learned about bonds and mutual funds and all the rest, and built a portfolio based on what I learned. In 2019 my account topped $100K, pretty decent considering I was paying in the minimum on a paycheck that was small to start with. It's not actually much to retire on yet, but I'm proud of having built it that far.
401K investing doesn't require the amount of research I did, to be fair. If you don't want to do a ton of work, most 401K administrators will have a "target" fund that you just throw your money into with the goal of retiring in the year attached to the fund. I still have a reasonable amount in my "2045" Target fund, which means in theory I should be able to retire in 2045, when I'll be 65. As I get older, the target fund's "risk tolerance" lowers, meaning I'll earn less but be less at risk to lose money should another economic catastrophe occur (frankly pretty likely). This is a perfectly decent way to invest if you don't care about investing or want a simpler life than mine. :D
ANYWAY the standard advice is to put as much as you possibly can into your 401K, because it comes out of your paycheck before taxes, and because your work will often match a certain amount, which is essentially free money (as long as you stay with the company until it "vests" which is basically "if you leave before a certain time period has passed, we get to take this money back"). This is not bad advice but if you're interested in striking out on your own, you should feel okay to take some and redirect it elsewhere, with the awareness that you're sometimes raising your risk of losing it in doing so.
You have a lot of options when it comes to investing outside of a 401K. I don't recommend the stock market because it's a mood ring we base the entire economy on, and it’s a dreadful way to try and make money. Right now is kind of a shitty time to have a savings account, honestly, since nothing is offering very high interest rates. I wouldn't do any long-term locked-in stuff like a CD, where you put $10K in and have to wait 10 years for a 2% return or whatever, because hopefully interest rates on savings will rise before 10 years are out. Right now, especially at the start of your career and given the economic climate, I would stay "liquid" if I were you. And for anything other than savings accounts, which is where I keep my non-401K savings at this point, you're really best off talking to a financial advisor, as I haven't done extensive research. (This will be "next steps" for me once I handle a few other issues.)
What I did was stash my cash in high-yield savings (high yield right now is earning like 0.5%, which is garbage compared to a few years ago but better than nothing). Because I really only just started having disposable income in late 2019, when I changed jobs, I currently have a lot of places I'm keeping money but no one place has a ton in it yet. Still, it may be instructional to talk about. Outside of my checking accounts, which I don't use for saving anything (they're just bills and expenses), I have as investments:
-- A traditional IRA. When I left my old job, I was going to a job where Vanguard wasn't offered as a 401K administrator. I like Vanguard, so instead of moving the money from my old 401K to my new one, I rolled it over into a Traditional IRA with Vanguard. It's the same setup as a 401K, it just now doesn't get any new money coming in (I could be paying into it pre-taxes but I'm not quite there yet).
-- My 401K with my new job. My job matches up to 3% so 3% is what I pay in. I should be paying in more but I'm not gonna because I like having a little spare cash to spend right now. Also some of the money I would be paying into this 401K was used to pay off all my previous debts and is now used to make extra payments on my mortgage, currently my only remaining debt.
-- A savings account with Chase, attached to my checking accounts. This account pays 0.1% interest, so I only keep $1000 in this account. This is an emergency fund if, for example, somehow I end up overdrawn on checking, or I'm in a situation where I need a few hundred dollars immediately. It’s not meant to earn much, it’s there to be a cushion in case of sudden falls.
-- Two savings accounts with a credit union, in my case DCU. One is extremely high-yield (6% interest on the first $1K, 0.25% on anything after that) and one is less high-yield (0.5% but there's no maximum). So I keep $1K in the first account, earning $60 a year, and every month I put $200-$500 from my paycheck into the second account. This is my primary savings at this point and will probably remain so unless I can find something as convenient with a significantly higher interest rate.
-- One savings account with Betterment, an online-only bank. I am actually slowly emptying this one because when I joined, 3 years ago, they were paying 4%, but when the pandemic hit it dropped to 2%, then 0.3%, and then to 0.1%, which to me says they're in trouble. And if money I kept there could be earning more over in DCU's account, why not?
-- In theory my home, which I bought and am paying a mortgage on, is an investment. Given I lived through the bottom falling out of the housing market in 2008, I don't view it as such, especially since while it is appreciating in value it's not keeping up with inflation. Still, I bring it up because technically purchasing a home is a huge investment, and you're likely to be told as such when speaking to a professional. I can't recommend viewing real estate that way, because a) it will make you insane and b) you can't depend on the housing market any more than the stock market. All that said I do recommend buying a home if you're in a position to do so and know you'll be somewhere for a while. Mine was a huge headache to buy and given my luck will undoubtedly be a huge headache to sell, but I don't regret it and I like being able to paint, install new appliances, have pets, etc.
Anyway, I hope this helps! It's one of those areas that require either a lot of research or the services of a professional, but that just means there's a lot of room to play. Good luck!
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i can always trust you to have good MLP fic recommendations, thus i am here demanding more after you recommended "The Enchanted Library" - I love MLP a lot and canon of ver 5 made me really sad so i politely demand you give me all your fic recommendation
AAAAAAAAaa
Hm. Okay I mean. Hm. Usually I don't have fic recs but I actually have a bunch of mlp stuff bookmarked for once lmao.
That said.... My list of mlp fics are. Are complicated? Honestly I have a lot of horror and weird stuff in this? It's funky.
Anyway, ones I've reread on multiple occasions, along with short summaries and some trigger warnings for the horror stuff.
Past Sins - Honestly one of the first I read, and always fun to go back to. A cult tries to ressurect Nightmare Moon separate from Luna, but it goes wrong and results in an Alicorn filly with no knowledge of what she was supposed to be. Twilight takes her in, hoping she can prevent the filly from ever becoming Nightmare Moon. This does have sequels and side stories, my favorite being Winter Bells
Into The Depths - This and it's sequel 'From The Depths' are wonderful, but full on horror. After Luna and Twilight go missing in the old castle in Everfree, Celestia leads the rescue party into the tunnels underneath. The group is haunted and hunted by whatever is down there. Again, this is horror and has a decent amount of gore. Be warned.
A New Dragon In Ponyville - A Dragon named Cliff Runner hears rumor that his little brother was found and raised by ponies, and comes to see if it's true and rescue him if need be. Of course, most of our cast are entirely willing to welcome him into the family! This fic has a lot of worldbuilding for Dragons and def stuff I added to my headcanon.
Sleepless - Ever wanted to see Diamond Tiara become a serial killer? Yeah that. That's the basics. It is a good horror series, not just 'haha pony murder'. Obviously full of dark themes and some gore and death. It has sequels that are either as dark or darker, with Manehattan Blues being the darkest in my opinion.
The Tutelary Spirits - This is multi-part, but takes place in a future where the Mane Six have become sort-of-gods of their Elements, and ponies seek them out for advice in their domain. Unfinished and never will be, but it has three and a half parts for Loyalty, Honesty, Generosity and Kindness
The Alchemy of Chemistry - AU scenario. When Sunset starts to go down her dark path, Celestia instead assigns her to tutor students at the school in hope to keep her from making mistakes she'll regret.
The Witching Hour - Seems like a basic 'here's my cool OC, let's drop her in with the Main Cast and have her go on adventures in the Background'. Which yeah it is, but has some fun characters in the world, fun worldbuilding, and shenanigans.
Why We Dig - A story focusing on the Diamond Dogs, asking the question of why they dig for gems. Featuring an interesting twist!
Dressed To Steal - Teeeechnically I consider this more of a Sly Cooper fic, as it's one of the 'these ponies are dropped into other series' types of stories. But it is mlp! A very young Coco Pommel is dragged from her home dimension into the world of Sly Cooper. She is quickly adopted by Sly, his gang, and also Carmelita.
A Tale of Two Suns - When certain people start digging into Sunset's past, she has to try and cover for her lack of a past. Thankfully, Princess Celestia wants to reconnect, and is more than happy to pretend to be Sunset's mother.
Finding Home - Everyone is concerned about where Sunset is living, given her lack of funds or legal records. Principal Celestia is not going to let her stay just anywhere. Especially not somewhere dangerous.
Looking Glass - When Sunset goes through the mirror, she wakes up as a child Human instead of the near-adult Pony she was. The story follows her growing up in the Human World, questioning her old reality, and becoming the person she is by the time of the Equestria Girls movie.
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