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foozle-woesies · 2 months

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Lowkey like, what's your take on Dottore's partner dying while he's attempting to treat them. Like this is his thing but he still fails when it really matters to him. Give me your THOUGHTS give me your SORROWS

💉Dottore tries his best to save you.💉

Dottore x GN! Reader headcanons! Dottore is a softie in this one.

Warnings: terminal illness, you literally die, loss of spouse, grief.

Also, while these are headcanons about Dottore and the reader, I’m slightly basing it on my own oc who’s married to Dottore. They went through this. He had bone cancer, so this is kind of implied, but it can be any disease you want… if you want to be that specific.

When Dottore learns that you are sick, not a worry will pass through his mind. He’s the doctor after all, he’s completed all sorts of impossible tasks, and found cures for many mysterious diseases.

He begins to find symptoms he’s never seen before. Again, he’s not worried. He’s dealt with these situations before. With you, though, he doesn’t experiment recklessly. He only does operations/administers medicines he knows will work, and if he tries anything new, he makes sure it’s safe beforehand. You’re special to him, after all.

Weeks, months, years pass… none of it works. The growths grow bigger. Your movement is getting more and more restricted. Your appetite is gone, and your features are sunken in. You lack the energy you once had. He tries to keep making conversation with you, but your responses are minimal- you just don’t have the energy. He knows that. But he just likes to keep talking to you.

At first, Dottore is in denial. “No, you cannot be dying. This is not incurable. There is a fix to this.”. Deep down, he knows this is not true.

After a while, he becomes purely angry. For a short amount of time, he’s angry at you- why the hell are you such a difficult patient? He quickly accepts that it isn’t your fault. He can’t stand to be angry at you in your current state. The anger turns into self-hatred. Why couldn’t he cure you? Why didn’t he catch onto these symptoms sooner?

In your last few days, Dottore is glued to your side. He’s constantly holding your hand, patting your head, rubbing whatever part of you is sore in an attempt to comfort you… he’s doing everything he can for you. He doesn’t let the clones near you, either. You’re his to take care of.

He feels like he’s totally and absolutely failed you. He can’t think of a reason why you’d still love him- he couldn’t fix your issues. Why should you care about him if he was useless? Nonetheless, he’s happy you still want him near you.

Once you’re gone, Dottore becomes numb. He never sees the other harbingers anymore, he lets the clones do every bit of work. When he does have to do stuff, or attend meetings, he half-asses everything he does.

Half of this is guilt. He cannot believe he couldn’t save you in time. Bringing you back as a zombie would just be unethical, something Dottore isn’t concerned about usually… but he cares so much about you, and knows you wouldn’t want that. He feels like a failure in both a work and personal sense.

The other half is grief. He misses you so, so much. He didn’t realize how much he took your presence for granted. Being able to come home to you, your questions about his work, the way he’d hold you… he misses it all. He’s bored with life now. Dottore has lost interest in doing anything but reminiscing.

#genshin impact #dottore headcanons #angst headcanons #dottore x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin men #dottore angst

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rustychainsnorter · 7 months

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I know that analysis of Rest and Ricklaxation (toxic Rick) have probably been done many times now, but I just wanted to have my own go at it.

In my opinion, both versions of Rick are toxic. They both exhibit traits that are negative in their own way. And they both display traits that are healthy.

Here's some stuff I noticed about healthy Rick and toxic Rick.

Healthy Rick

- Both Ricks are equally intelligent. (Makes me wonder why Rick wouldn't think his intelligence is toxic since intelligence is part of what caused his family to get killed).

- Healthy Rick is kind, considerate, modest, and has full control over his emotions.

- Healthy Rick admitted that he "didn't give a sh*t" about Morty.

- Healthy Rick slaps healthy Morty, and shoots toxic Morty without believing that it's a toxic action. (Possible hatred towards Morty because he is Rick Prime's original grandson?)

- Healthy Rick pointedly says that Morty is an "irrational attachment". (Another reference that he believes loving the grandson to his primary enemy is toxic or wrong?)

- Healthy Rick asks that Beth be left out of the dangerous commotion.

- He is capable of manipulation.

- He curses.

- He uses violence to fight when necessary- mostly self defense- up until he manipulated toxic Rick by shooting toxic Morty.

- He couldn't win against toxic Rick in hand to hand combat. He's physically weaker.

- He found toxic Rick's vulnerable reaction to Morty's endangered life amusing.

- He was completely certain that he wanted his toxic self back even though his toxicity wasn't actually necessary or needed.

- Despite believing that his attachment to Morty was irrational, I think a tiny part of his healthy self either still cared about him or wanted to care about him.

Toxic Rick

- Toxic Rick never physically hurt Morty. Yeah, he was a little rough with the manhandling but he still didn't hit or shoot him.

- Toxic Rick's most toxic traits are dominance, narcissism, anger, controlling attitude, lack of self-control, burping, alcoholism, vulnerability, loneliness, sadness, clinginess, attachment issues, lying and manipulation.

- Toxic Rick absolutely DESPISED the healthy version of himself. (Perhaps because he knows that that part of him does not care about Morty. Idk. There's something toxic going on with healthy Rick, I just can't decide what).

- He always needs/has toxic Morty with him.

- He is gentle with toxic Morty and openly displays vulnerability when he is hurt. He even tried comforting him.

- He always asks to make sure that toxic Morty is watching and listening to him. He loves the attention.

- He doesn't care about Summer or Beth very much. Though he does willingly leave when Beth steps into the commotion. (Perhaps he hoped to turn her toxic as well?)

- He is physically stronger than healthy Rick and more violent.

- He openly displayed fear and sadness when toxic Morty's life was in danger.

- Even though he hated healthy Rick, he still sacrificed himself to save Morty.

Things I wanna know.

- Why did healthy Rick want to merge with his toxic self when he obviously couldn't lie and admitted to hating having toxicity in him?

- Why does healthy Rick not care about Morty? And why does he consider Morty an irrational attachment?

- What is so bad about healthy Rick that made toxic Rick absolutely freakin' hate him?

#I really needed to get this off my chest #rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #toxic rick #Healthy Rick #r&m #my post #character analysis #I just wanna know what goes through Rick's head when he's around Morty #Rest and Ricklaxation #rick prime

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fincalinde · 1 year

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What do you think about JYL's relationship with WWX?

This is an interesting one, because the relationship between JYL and WWX is really a thing of two halves: the depth and steadfastness of their love for each other is touching, but the very strength of their relationship has devastating consequences. It's also a great example of each character's core flaw: WWX's arrogance and JYL's partiality for him.

I really do like the fact that JYL and WWX love each other like blood siblings, even to the point of JYL specifically asserting that she sees him as a brother when she defends him at the Phoenix Mountain hunt. JYL is mild-natured, but also a woman of great inner strength despite her parents' best efforts to crush, berate and/or neglect it out of her. And she certainly needs and deserves supportive brothers like JC and WWX, who will both defend and advocate for her.

The trouble is that WWX is really bad at defending her and repeatedly makes things worse when JC on his own would have handled the situation with more grace. JC is clearly reconciling himself to JYL marrying JZX and adjusting his understanding of JZX's character post-Sunshot, and he and WWX even have a discussion in which WWX refuses to listen to him about JZX's self-improvement and the likelihood of a renewed engagement. JC is obviously not a perfect brother, and it's not as though WWX's continued hatred for JZX is based on nothing, but as clan leader JC has the good sense and leadership skills to more effectively navigate such a delicate situation.

As part and parcel of WWX's unintentional but nevertheless very real sabotaging of JC and the Jiang, he talks over JC and acts as though he has greater authority than he actually possesses. JYL and her relationship with JZX is a huge part of that. Yes, things are not going well between JZX and JYL at the Phoenix Mountain hunt, but WWX's intervention only escalates the issue and puts JYL in an even more awkward and humiliating position. It's a testament to her love for WWX and her quiet strength that she's able to gracefully and effectively defend both WWX and the Jiang when WWX's attempts to defend her from JZX have further exposed the Jiang to a loss of reputation.

It's important to remember that WWX himself cringes in retrospect when seeing his arrogant and cocksure behaviour in other scenes through Empathy, so this read isn't coming out of nowhere; it's made explicit in the text. WWX is in many ways the author of his own downfall, and of course poor JYL is quite literally caught in the crossfire. There's multiple references to her face lighting up whenever she sees her brothers, and in a certain sense her love for them gifts her vitality, so it's thematically appropriate and extraordinarily effective that she gives her life for WWX. And thematically appropriate, too, that in her final moments she is completely focused on WWX despite JC also being present.

I've skirted the topic of JC so far in only discussing him in relation to the JZX-JYL relationship, but I do need to address him more directly because it's impossible to talk about WWX and JYL without bringing him in. Poor, poor JC. It's indisputable that JYL loves him, and it's just as indisputable that she loves WWX more than she loves him. In theory, the love is equal. In practice, JYL consistently prioritises WWX and his needs over JC. JC truly does come second in everything, and the image of him holding a seriously injured JYL as she ignores him and focuses all her attention on WWX is absolutely shattering.

And the awful thing is that JC is a better brother to JYL than WWX. JC understands that she is not simply a sister but a woman who has her own wants and needs that diverge from her brothers' hopes for her. JC might not like it, but he respects it. WWX, on the other hand ... Qiongqi Path. His inability to fully respect JYL's choice or update his opinion of JZX results in his literally murdering JZX using WN as the weapon. And yes, WWX is not mentally or physically in great shape at the time, but he's also had numerous and repeated warnings from various characters about the inevitable consequences of the path he's chosen. There are mitigating factors, but WWX ultimately knows himself to be responsible and the text agrees with him.

And JYL still can't hate him. She can't tell him it's all right or that she forgives him, but she doesn't stop loving him either. And this is exactly why their relationship, while profound and touching, is ultimately a damaging one. It never develops beyond its original well-meaning but immature dynamic, and this is the consequence. WWX still acts like a small child with JYL, and also like he has the right to intervene in her life. Meanwhile she still mothers him and overlooks his transgressions, even though she's probably the one person he might actually listen to. They're both locked in old patterns that were established to cope with the challenges of their shared childhood, and neither of them adjust the relationship to account for the changes in their roles and circumstances—until it's far too late.

#ask #xiyao-feels #roquen meta #jiang yanli #turns out i have lots to say about the jiang

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levmada · 8 months

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How do you think Levi would handle his PTSD/symptoms during post!war Marley days? Like he definitely takes up doing his tea shop and I bet gardening or painting maybe but moreso about small stuff like seeing something mundane and it just triggers him. Having tinnitus or really bad knee/hand pain, how does he cope in small ways? I could see him even take up hammocking and reading just listening to birds and chilling in nature.

Also, do you think that he ever misses using ODM gear? The easy gilding through trees and buildings, being able to almost like fly? There's this certain point where when you master a skill with such fluidity that it becomes a second nature. Do you think that he misses that zen feeling?

sheeppp i’m so so so sorry this took me literal months to reply to😭i hope it was worth it! i had so much to say,,,

so: post-war levi headcanons

//su1cidality (idk if it’s allowed to use The Whole Word or not), detailed ptsd descriptions, internalized ableism |

wc: ~2k

just like how keeping his promise only finally gave room for Levi to feel the grief surrounding Erwin’s death, the end of the Titans would be the same, but much worse. yes, the dream all the Scouts fought for—a world without walls and without Titans—was realized… but absolutely no one who Levi knew before discovering the basement was alive to see it with him. he's the only one left to remember all of it, especially the trauma, and that's the loneliest feeling in the world.

• despite ultimate victory, at an individual level, he'd feel... really lost, and broken of course. he can no longer walk, let alone fight for anything, but he doesn't have anything left to fight for anyway!! (Levi definitely considers his duty completed, not having a part in what the former 104th is doing.)

so the first year would be very very very hard on him. assumably he was inpatient in a hospital for sometime for his injuries and mandatory physical therapy, and after that he realistically can’t live on his own (hence Gabi and Falco).

but,, Levi would have a hard time accepting being taken care of just on principle. the loneliness would be crippling. with every bit of self worth he ever had being built on how useful he is, ironically i think the end of the war would put him at rock bottom for a time.

• this is not at all to mention his mental scarring in general. his convictions about his duty had been only as strong as his ability to suppress his weaknesses. the foundations of his life had been built on is always moving forward with no regrets, and that's just a breeding ground for suppressed grief and guilt. just because Levi lived by it didn't make it healthy for him in the long run, and now all the sudden he HAS no duty, and nothing to move forward past.

so now, what, three or four decades worth of issues?—have an opportunity to take root.

there are nightmares of course, the usual insomnia, and heaps of post-traumatic stress; coming to terms with how worthless he thought and thinks of himself, especially now; the frustration and hatred directed towards his new disabilities; but above all, his suppressed emotions.

he over-regulated his emotions for sooo long that it's become instinctive to mask around anyone so no one would have the slightest idea that he's struggling at all. in order to maintain his strength, doing his duty, his fighting ability, everything—that's what he did, and not only is he so damn good at it that he's deluded even himself into believing he’s infallible, but it's instinctive and automatic for him. and healing from a coping mechanism like that completely, surrounded by a sea of severe psychopathology, is nearly impossible.

he must have compartmentalized or blocked out many many events and traumatic memories, and of course, the more often you do that, the heavier the feelings, the more traumatic the memories, the bigger the breakdown later. at some point he has a breakdown and shatters to pieces worse than he has in his whole fucking life.

• he struggles to adjust to change (because as we know Levi never even wore the new uniforms in s4, implying that. along with an interview i vaguely remember confirming that), and desperately needs a routine.

• but despite his loneliness, or maybe because of it, he struggles with relationships. in his mind it's not like he became any more pleasant to be around than he was before, so he doesn’t feel like anyone could deal with or wants his company anyway, besides on obligation. so he would self-sabotage his relationships with Gabi, Falco, Onyakopon or whoever even at the cost of his physical health. Levi neverrrr gave a damn about his own well-being and that gets worse when he’s of no more “use” to anyone, with his existence now a “burden” to his friends. he's useful, or he's nothing.

AGAIN IN LIKE THE FIRST YEAR…

• do i think this at one point snowballed into suicidal ideation of sorts? of sorts. the guilt of not being completely happy, now that it's all over, is prevalent, on top of his worthlessness, on top of tinnitus+his affected vision+using his hands+his worse mobility+chronic pain,,, ironically for a time after the war, his hardest battle is surviving.

• he loathes psychotherapy at its very premise. delving into his feelings with someone who's basically a stranger paid to listen and analyze him?? one of his worst nightmares.

so that's out of the question. but physical therapy is doable for him. such as seeing it as an exercise routine, him disliking his wheelchair, and being given tangible goals to work towards—is good for him. and besides, with the technology and culture of Marley resembling 20th century western Europe/USA, i imagine there's very few resources and little empathy, and more discrimination for people with disabilities. it can't be helped, so he might as well work on physical therapy, and along the way grow a decent self-esteem around that, and his facial scars.

• he finds ways to cope somehow. Levi isn’t an artistic person and i don’t think that changes with retirement. but he enjoys reading fiction and the newspaper, as a distraction and to keep up with what’s going on in the world.

he would absolutely enjoy gardening. cultivating life instead of ending them, being self-sustaining food wise, just the reward of taking care of something living and watching it flourish. gardening is one of his favorite pastimes.

and, eventually, journaling. like i said, Levi would have trouble just accepting that his suffering is valid, let alone coping with it. there is no full recovery, there is no being completely okay for someone who's gone through all he has i think, which is incomprehensible to someone like Levi, who prioritized his strength over every other one of his attributes.

but eventually he gets it into his head (Onyankopon's advice?) that although his closest loved ones and friends are gone, he can’t let who they were be forgotten. yes people like Erwin and Hange would be icons in history, but it’s not enough. Levi is the only person who knows who they really were, and of course those people are very very very dear to him.

so he starts jotting down memories or anecdotes he almost forgot. it would sort of read as a police report or a debrief at first honestly, just a recounting of events with no emotion because it’s hard. memories of them, all of them, are priceless to him, so fond or not, it’s a challenge.

but it becomes therapeutic, and even a crutch. sometimes he writes so fast that he’s not even thinking of the words to put and just writing his stream of consciousness, or loses track of time. at times like that he can find some catharsis.

he enjoys sitting at a park bench (and knowing the importance of routine to Levi, the same one every time) and feeding the birds, and like you said, chilling in nature.

he decides he owes it to his past comrades to see the fruits of their labor they didn’t get to.

• Levi has fond memories of the past, before the basement and their whole world got bigger and more dire. there's something he appreciates about that time, and how simple their goals and enemies were, even though their lives were never carefree or happy. i think Levi would prefer that time of his life the most, being under the sun and sky and with a cause to live and fight for. his reason to live fixated on his duty, and so being a soldier became his reason for being.

and then there’s his pure love of flying on the ODM gear. he was doing it since before he ever even joined the survey corps. probably his first ever real belonging besides a knife, and his first and most longstanding sense of freedom he ever had. Levi never was carefree, but flying was as close as he got. yes. flying is one of the things he misses the most about the past.

• but like i said, and even though it's sad, i think that for someone like Levi and all he's been through, there is no complete peace. that's not realistic.

• his ptsd is severe. at times when the littlest thing could set him off—being irritated or angry—and he has no concrete reason for why. he doesn’t even know who or what he’s angry at. it’s tempting to resent the people around him for not understanding it, and how they’ll never understand what he went through that made him “broken”. being angry that he has to relive some memories through nightmares or flashbacks at seemingly mundane things.

he hates planes (sorry Onyankopon). he hates shower steam or cooking on a stove. sometimes his missing fingers reminds him of Erwin and all the worry that arose when he lost his arm. fireworks or the sounds of explosions in general make him feel dizzy and out of it for a while. he probably sees dead friends and enemies alike in crowds of people. he doesn’t stare into the fireplace because he’ll smell burning flesh. needles whenever he visits the doctor makes him feel panicky.

he has triggers. and when he’s triggered he self-isolates a lot and becomes emotionless. you know, sometimes his sole motivation for getting out of bed is taking care of his garden/his plants, and eating is only worth the strength needed to do that, or to eat so the food he grew himself doesn’t go to waste. besides, he reminds himself that staying in bed is pointless, because getting sleep is never easy.

• and arguably the worst part is, that Levi is so accustomed to suffering it’s unthinkable the type of person he’d be or life he could lead without it. it’s comfortable because it’s familiar, which leads to him almost fetishizing his own sadness out of a sense that he deserves it as punishment, and this carnal need to prove that he’s useless, and should be left alone.

• but of course, he’s too loved for that to happen. he comes to believe his friends of that. and that makes him protective of Gabi and Falco especially—he’s still that same person who will do anything to make his friends’ lives easier or take a load off whenever they need it.

time passing helps, and so does journaling and seeing the kids (Gabi, Falco, honestly the whole 104th is still his kids), but there is no full recovery for someone like Levi. then again, peace is uncomfortable for him anyway, someone whose whole life was a cycle of being on his guard, training and fighting, recovering, and then fighting some more.

but he does find some peace.

• eventually, when it’s finally over for him, the most prevalent feeling i think would be relief. being surrounded by friends or at least with the knowledge that he’s loved. he has lived a life of constant trial and tribulation, most of all grief, but it’s yet another testament to Levi’s strength that despite everything, he is still able to find a way to be happy. it’s the same. you can choose to feel better. every day, you find something to live for. it can be fleeting and easily forgotten… but maybe that’s everything.

as for him, he always holds onto the small things, for the same reason he needs those small things to hold on.

#sorry for getting sappy at the end #levi hc #levi ackerman headcanons #aot headcanons #levi fanfic #levi ackerman hcs #levi fanfiction #levi ackerman fanfiction #aot spoilers #snk spoilers

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redlyriumidol · 2 months

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Sera and character development

So Sera is a character who (imo) gets somewhat the short end of the stick in terms of character development. She's a very polarising character and many people can't stand her- personally I love her now but I wasn't keen on her at all when the game came out. She's brash, rude, has very strong opinions and freely expresses them to the Inquisitor and to others. Sera is also very young, the youngest out of the companions, and I think her immaturity is obvious. She's got internalised racism up to her eyeballs and this makes it particularly unpleasant to romance her as a female elf, which I think was a disappointment to many.

I don't think this initial characterisation is a problem, the problem is that unlike some of the other characters we never really see her tackle her issues over the course of the game. It's easy to blame her for her opinions about elves, but realistically, this hatred includes herself, and therefore it must actually be very painful for her. it's also somewhat antithetical to her goals as a character as someone who stands for the little people- anyone can see that in Thedas, these are disproportionately elves, so caring about elves would actually be logical in her position. Sera's alienation from her identity as an elf is severe, and while I actually do think her feelings are worthy of sympathy (again, this is internalised racism, not a human character who is bigoted towards elves) they're not healthy, they actively obstruct her self-realisation. it's herself that Sera blames for the situation with the baker, it's herself that she hates, her own identity. she's from the alienage but hates people from the alienage. that's really sad, honestly.

In the breakup dialogue with her she says (about herself) "You'd get it if you were smarter. If you understood what it meant to be elven." That's pretty telling of her insecurities and self-hatred, in my opinion.

I think it was a massive wasted opportunity in terms of writing and character development not to give her a questline that interrogates this issue and helps her move past it. The temple of mythal is very personally, viscerally upsetting to her. Despite her repeated denial of it, she does feel connected in some ways to her heritage and I think it's obvious that it's painful for her. So why is it never explored??

In Trespasser, two years on, we do see a Sera who is beginning to grow up. She's very likable in Trespasser imo, her diary gives her a lot of depth. She cares about absolutely everyone. If the Inquisitor is an elf, this is added: "Is s/he all right with the elfy stuff?" and she even shows empathy for the dalish at one point: "Not as bad for dwarves as was for Dalish. Maybe." That's coming from someone who once reacted with disdain towards an elf inquisitor. She's still sceptical, but is slowly becoming less extreme. I'd just have liked for us to see it more explicitly in the actual game.

#vivienne is another who i think gets shunted in terms of development. as in. doesn't get any.#dragon age meta #sera dragon age #dragon age #dragon age talks #i think sera's companion quest was so random and didnt do a lot for her character #imo a good idea would have been to have us find someone from her birth family. a sister or something #or someone from the denerim alienage who remembers her family

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science-lings · 1 year

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what’s some of your favorite loz/Lu fics of all time? :)

Most of my favorite LU fics are here

but what you guys may not know is that I'm also a big fan of botw and modern au Zelink fics, however, take heed, most of these get a little spicy

Like Real People Do by ScarlettStorm: one of the best post-botw fics out there, lots of pining, I absolutely adore how Link's experience with Gender is portrayed, how he and Zelda are both treated as equally traumatized, as sometimes it feels like there's always one troubled one and one caregiver and I can get that for shorter fics but this one is long and beautifully balanced in that aspect. It also gets real horny at the end and in my opinion, it's very tasteful.

Alone With You by @deiliamedlini: honestly this author has a bunch of bangers, I'm waiting for their pirate au to finish so I can binge it all and I reread their Zelink oneshot collection all the time, this one is their modern high school au where Link is kind of a bad boy who is secretly Fucked Up, and Zelda is a popular girl and surprise surprise, they both get along really well. Normally I hate anything that reminds me of high school but this is the only exception. I love how previous characters are included, like how Link knows ASL bc he's friends with Pipit who is deaf and how Revali is a bitch and I still want to strangle him. Also big sister Aryll is a treasure and this fic does such a good job portraying Link's mental struggles and PTSD and how Zelda is being neglected and I'm also a big fan of the overarching plot of medical issues and trauma.

The Calamity of Link's Cargo Shorts by @zeldaseyebrows: I don't understand how someone can make smut so funny and so focused on Zelda's own self-hatred. Seriously though, there's a lot to love with this fic and I adore Zelda's pov. Sometimes you have to have sex before opening up emotionally and that's okay. Also, it's a modern au too, I just realized how many of these are modern aus.

Strangers in the Night by @zeldaelmo: Another modern au, this time Zelda has a kid from a ons with Link and he doesn't know about it for a bit, I just love Link being a dad and how they both work for a museum and there's just something about the courtroom scene that makes me want to reread it over and over again. Sometimes it's hit or miss with family ocs but Tetra is my favorite zelink child ever. All the fics on this list are ones I reread a lot but this one is the one I'm currently rereading bc it's been a few months lol. I love the domestic but also a little dysfunctional vibes, it's definitely not the normal romcom type of thing but I think I like this more.

K.K. Love Song by @airplanned: Again, modern au, pandemic edition. This one in particular has a certain unexplainable soft vibe, like there's some long-distance, Animal Crossing online romance and idk why I like it so much, I guess I was one of the suckers that got pulled in by new horizons when it came out so there's some strange kind of covid nostalgia and it's nice to see how a functional government would deal with the pandemic. Also, Link's grandma is a treasure and there's something sweet about crown princess Zelda meeting some guy on animal crossing and accidentally making him a public figure by dating him. Honestly, this author has a lot of great fics that I reread a lot lmao.

Farore's Day and Windvane Lane by Jenseits_der_Sterne: modern thanksgiving au, Zelda is a quirky scientist single mom and Link is her neighbor. I love Link being a nerd and Zelda being a bit of a disaster. Like she accidentally almost blows up her kitchen and he's just looking on with heart-eyes, after helping her put out the fires of course.

tbh, I'm probably not the best person to go for fic recs as I just find a few really good ones and then reread them till the end of time and rely on other people to recommend me things to read lmao, I hope this was at least a little helpful anyway.

#i really hope none of these authors mind being tagged #honestly i could probably go on by I'm on a time limit #i should probably read more though #im not great at finding diamonds in the rough I'm not great at searching for fics #I just reread the same ones over and over again #ask andromeda #fic recs #zelink #loz fic recs #for an aspec i really do love these little elves falling in love #i just realized that only one of these isn't a modern au #i genuinely didn't know that i read so many modern aus...

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imminent-danger-came · 10 months

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Unhinged Anon here with a more lighthearted ask because that Macaque post reminded me how much I love thinking about his dynamic with MK. Of course, part of the reason for that is because there are numerous layers and intricacies that make it absolutely fascinating. But it’s also because, if I start thinking about it too long, they become one of the funniest duos in the show to me.

And when I say funniest, I don’t mean they get the best jokes, or that their interactions get the biggest laughs. I mean it's hilarious to look at where they started vs where they are now, because it really makes you realize how spectacularly Macaque failed at not getting attached to MK.

Like… Macaque was not only prepared, but planning to manipulate, betray, and potentially kill MK in S1E9. He came into this series not caring about that kid, and his initial plan hinged on him staying that way.

And he did! Sure he liked MK fine, but he still went through with the power stealing thing. And he even threw in some cruel mockery. Which miiiiiiight have also been Macaque projecting on MK a little bit, but regardless! There was no hesitation, even when trying to kill MK, because Macaque’s hatred and bitterness towards Wukong far, far outweighed anything else. MK was just a means to an end for Macaque. A piece in a game MK didn’t comprehend, shall we say.

But then Shadow Play happens, and it becomes immediately clear that Macaque has already failed to stay completely unattached. Yes, he’s still clearly an antagonist here. He kidnaps MK's friends, forces them to attack him, and messes with MK’s head to what was probably an even greater extent then Macaque initially intended thanks to all those abandonment issues and LBD trauma.

But here’s the thing. There was NO REVENGE-RELATED REASON for Macaque to get involved here! Wukong was gone, and had been for at least a month or two by this point, and Macaque knew it. But he still decided to reach out because he accidentally went from ‘you can never have too many teachers, right? Haha aren’t I so nice, you can totally trust me :)’ to ‘you can never have too many teachers, and like it or not I’m one of yours’. He legitimately wanted to help MK realize some things about himself and gain some perspective. To keep MK from inadvertently becoming more like Wukong in ways MK would never want to be.

And then S3 happens. LBD basically turns Macaque into her bloodhound, and he goes from antagonistic but legitimately trying to make MK do some self reflection to antagonistic and willing to commit child murder. Only this time he is not having fun, and is partially rooting for MK’s team because LBD dying is a win in his book. He even tries keeping MK out of his way so he can free himself without having to hurt him in S2E9 (I’m still occasionally haunted by the genuine anger in Macaque’s ‘What? Make things worse for MK?’ to Wukong), even if it doesn’t work.

And then he finally regains his freedom just in time to hear MK’s samadhi fire speech. And that is the exact point where Macaque is completely and utterly screwed. There is no going back from that speech. From seeing MK say ‘Who cares about mortality, that’s my best friend!’ and refusing to abandon Mei even though it could cost him his life. He is now physically incapable of not caring about this kid, and he was already caring way more than he probably wanted to.

Which brings me to the moment that drives me most insane about these two because of its serious, but also comedic, implications. And no, I’m not talking about ‘be a warrior’, though that is one of my favorite MK speeches topped off with some great Dramatic Theater Bitch energy from Macaque. I’m talking about Macaque shadow portaling MK away from Possessed Wukong in S3E12. And I don’t mean that in an ‘aw, he saved MK, he really does care’ way.

Like, sure. We could focus on how this is the first time we see Macaque go out of his way to save someone *looks at his ‘look out for number 1’ speech in S3E8*. And we could talk about how portaling MK away was a pretty risky move for someone who’s normally very cautious, considering LBD could undoubtedly recognize his powers. And I could drive myself insane thinking about how the first thing Macaque did upon regaining his freedom was leave MK when he needed (or at least wanted) him, but the second thing he did was save MK when he seemed totally alone. Not to mention the fact that it was specifically Wukong (and LBD) that he was protecting MK from. (Don't think about how Macaque always seems to show up when Wukong has or is about to hurt MK, Don't think about how-)

But why do that when we could focus on how funny Macaque’s inner monologue probably was during that whole mess? I mean, Macaque’s bird form is already at the Wukong vs LBD fight when MK and Nezha get there, so he saw the whole thing. He could have stepped in to help Wukong fight at any time, and he just… didn’t. Now, we can all speculate why he chose not to, but that’s not what’s relevant here. What is relevant is that trying to imagine Macaque’s thought process during the whole thing is hilarious, because all I can imagine is that ‘X happens? I sleep. Y happens? Real Shit’ meme.

Like… Macaque is the patience and caution to Wukong’s impulsiveness. He watched that entire 2v1 without making a move. He saw LBD possess Wukong, and did nothing but observe and wait. He watched Nezha get absolutely obliterated, and didn’t do anything that would give himself away. But when MK’s thrust into the line of fire? It’s shadow portal time, baby!

It’s a legitimately selfless act on Macaque's part, and I do enjoy seeing the subtle ways he shows that he cares about MK contrasting with Wukong’s grand gestures of protection and concern. But it’s also really funny thinking about this powerful, super cautious, centuries-old loner with a history of betrayal and abandonment issues who came into this series ready to do whatever it took to destroy his best friend-turned-nemesis… and it’s the kid he accidentally became a legit mentor figure to while manipulating him as part of his plot to kill said kid’s other mentor that makes him start acting recklessly.

A kid who has been manipulated and nearly murdered by Macaque about as many times as he’s kicked Macaque’s ass, is the first person in… possibly ever to notice and call Macaque out for trying to be a ‘bad guy’ when his heart isn't in it, because he is not as dense as people think, is the student/fanboy of the guy who killed Macaque, and occasionally gives Macaque the wildest bouts of deja vu imaginable because he is sooo like his mentor but also just different enough to give Macaque hope that he can be better than both of them. Oh, and also he's a monkey now. Neat.

Their dynamic is hilarious. It’s sweet! It's full of so many layers, intricacies and parallels (ugh, the Parallels) that I tried not to get into, along with everything from MK’s perspective, because I really wanted this to just focus on how funny their dynamic is from a meta perspective. Truly, nobody is doing it quite like the soy sauce duo. Sorry for the absurdly long ask once again, and have a lovely day/night/whatever time it is where you are. waves from the precipice of madness*

I got you

My thoughts are going under a read more since the ask itself is so long (which thank you for giving me such an in-depth and delightful read EVERYONE GO READ WHAT UNHINGED ANON WROTE), so here we go!

Unfortunately I'm thinking too hard about all the stuff you told me not to, because Macaque being there when Wukong isn't is. Wooo boy.

I can only imagine what it was like watching this person who abandoned you do the same thing to his "beloved" student, and then watching said beloved student do a similar thing to his own friends.

Like, Wukong always going off for more power and immortality was out of paranoia right? Out of a fear of not being strong enough to protect the people he cared about? Out of a fear of mortality? And then MK not spending time with his friends and blowing off game night and distancing himself was ALSO out of paranoia for the imminent threat LBD posed. A fear of putting the people he cared about in danger (this is why 4x08 fucks so hard. SERIES LONG CHARACTER TRAIT. Anyways).

And then I just imagine Macaque watching all of that go down (he's bored and it's tuesday and it's time to go spy on/bully MK again) and seeing MK start to make the same mistakes Wukong did, and he's like "hold my bear" and has to step in and force MK to see what he's doing. Macaque was right, MK really is "that bit too much like him" but he's also still different from Wukong in key ways you know.

Which, it makes it so funny to me that Macaque is all like "MK you really are dense" about MK thinking of himself as the warrior, because it's like...Macaque. Is that not why you're here, because Wukong left MK like he did to you. MACAQUE YOU KNOW HE'S ALSO THE WARRIOR IN THIS SCENARIO. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. WE ALL KNOW HE'S THE WARRIOR.

But MK is ALSO the Hero, and he completely redefined what a Hero is for Macaque! Seriously, look at his face here:

(Right when MK says "We're heroes it's what we do!" is when this shot pops up. Screaming)

Macaque is DUMBFOUNDED that MK is so willing to risk his life for Mei in what seems like a completely hopeless situation. The fire is going to destroy Mei, right? Why reason with her, why try to save her, you can't do any of those things.

But MK does. And he does it despite what everyone else is telling him, what even Macaque himself is telling MK, and MK's refusal to leave Mei (which the hero is SUPPOSED to do to the warrior) shatters Macaque's world view to it's CORE. TO IT'S CORE.

Because, like, I think about 4x11 and how Macaque tried to reason with Wukong in his own completely hopeless situation, and how that didn't work—that was one of the inciting reasons Macaque started to believe "Look out for number one—because if you don't no one else will" right? But then MK said "hold my beer" and disproved something Macaque thought was an unchangeable fact, and then Macaque left before even watching MK go through with saving Mei.

And it's so funny how all that happened, and then MK gives his "then be a warrior speech:

Macaque: “Nice speech kid, but it’s not gonna-” MK: “Ugh, STOP! You keep playing at being this bad guy, acting like you’re just in it for you! But I know, deep deep down you’re not that guy. Help us. Make it right.” Macaque: “I’m not a hero bud-” MK: “Then be a warrior.”

(3x13 Time to be Warriors)

And here MK basically tells Macaque that "you don't have to be a hero or a villain you just have to help", getting us a little bit out of that "good guy" and "bad guy" false dichotomy, and then after all is said and done and Macaque tried to actually be a half-decent mentor in 4x10, he said this:

Macaque: "Point is, it’s time to start making your own choices—something I wish I would have learned a lot sooner than I did. You don’t want to fight Azure because people might get hurt, you don’t want to not fight him because people might get hurt--so do something else! Only you get to decide who you are kiddo.”

AND HE'S BASICALLY THROWING MK'S WORDS BACK AT HIM, OR AT LEAST THE IDEOLOGY BEHIND THEM, TELLING MK TO NOT FALL FOR THE FALSE DICHOTOMY, THAT THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO CHOICES. HE'S SAYING LOOK FOR THE THIRD CHOICE.

(yes this is all from my hero and warrior meta! I think I've definitely gotten better at writing stuff like this but I still think it's a good read)

4x09 also parallels 2x07 in a very unique way, where Macaque steps in while MK is being that bit too much like Wukong again, except this time it's because MK is isolating himself on flower fruit mountain.

And that interaction only get's even funnier the more you think about it, like one: Macaque was totally drinking Wukong's milk while he wasn't there and spying on MK again, two: Macaque revealed himself at the perfect time to insult Wukong being "a lazy peach eating idiot, ignoring all the worlds problems" and three: he immediately back tracks on his whole "snarky edgy monkey" persona the moment MK starts glitching. Look at his face here:

And then he's all like "play my video game!" which doesn't initially help MK, and oh my god. No one is doing it like them you're right. Macaque sucks at being a teacher just as much as Wukong. Like he didn't plan on being a mentor either. It's so funny.

#such quality MK and Macaque thoughts thank you #I give you a meme as compensation #and also my own thoughts lol #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk MK #lmk Macaque #long post #lmk analysis #unhinged anon

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bloodiedbeloveds · 2 months

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Rotating BDTA-John in my head, and it's leading me to ask... why does he paint? And why paint, rather than write or sing or something else?

this is a really good question! it prompted a long conversation, but we didn't come to an agreement, so here are various perspectives.

"Having left the education system as a form of rebellion, it seemed obvious to him that he must pursue an artistic career of some nature. I think he is a painter because he has isolated himself from the world in trying to hide his inhuman nature, and it is easiest for him to pursue a career path where he is not required to make many public appearances and where he is expected to be somewhat skittish and eccentric. As a musical performer, he would have much more difficulty hiding his wings."

“honestly he probably could have been a writer and it wouldn’t have changed much, to tell you the truth the others are giving all these sensible watsonian explanations but i’m 95% sure it’s because we like describing fictional works of visual art”

“shut up it absolutely would have changed things, him being an artist adds to the epistolary form by contributing even more implied content— in the same way that there’s all these interpersonal interactions which must take place but aren’t written down, the descriptions without the presence of the actual images add to the sense that we as readers are not getting the full story. this is especially blatant in we never really learn, with that image description”

“my take is that he has to be some sort of creative for this story to work, because so much of it is about perception & a lot of his Issues are about how he makes so much goddamn money by drawing his deepest traumas and people eat it up. but actually we started thinking about this because of the trends in modern poetry publishing. so that could’ve worked. so i think it’s mostly for the epistolary stuff”

“he could not be a singer because part of his tragic backstory is having loved to sing as a child but having that joy taken from him because he didn’t sound human enough. the simple childhood pleasure of singing a duet with yourself strangled by shame and self-hatred and despair”

“there's also a historical explanation for this— BDTA (the first fic, not the series as a whole) was written as a reaction to some AUs we had with a friend & to the subsequent acrimonious parting we had with them. it's actually kind of spiteful; we wanted to write something better and more interesting than they ever could have come up with. we've moved beyond that in writing the rest of the series, but john was a painter in the AUs with which BDTA is in conversation, so he's a painter now."

"okay this has no precedent, i'm just making this up, but it's super convincing + sad + creation is about constant reinterpretation, so bear with me. john, as a child, was very sad and fucked up and coped with his alienation from his peers + from childhood as a whole via a) reading too much and b) drawing too much. so by the time he's a teenager he's already fallen into the pattern he exhibits as an adult of drawing tortured eldritch characters as a form of emotional self-harm, and when he drops out of college + loses access to his previous viable career path art is both his only other major skill + something he can't stop doing even if he tries."

"honestly, this is making me interested in a take on BDTAverse where john is a fiction writer and alex is a freelance artist. (hey, you know what would be super fucked up? if The Photo hadn't been released, and alex drew for magazines and people kept asking him to draw john's suicide attempt)"

"anyway! i think he paints as a compulsive thing, because he has so few emotional outlets, and doing art about it has been pretty much the only way for him to manage his feelings for a lot of his life. (he learned, as a child, that there are correct emotions to have and if you don't have the right ones people will be mad at you, so talking about it has been out of the picture for a long time.) and once he doesn't have other career plans, well, he's going to be painting fucked up stuff anyway, might as well sell it"

#does this help? probably not! but we had fun writing it #asks #bdtaverse

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stranded-labyrinth · 10 months

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Angsttttt

Just read a fic where will found Hannibal in Florence and was jealous AF about Antony diamond. But they worked it out and shit.

Let me raise you, Will ‘already horrible self worth/esteem issues’ Graham, leaving the second he sees Hannibal flirting with a guy who looks just like him, minus the myriad of ugly scars. And homie has a badddd self destructive habit already. So he heads to the closest bar with the intention to get black out drunk and find someone to take his mind off Hannibal. But then ends up running out of the bar because he’s gotten into a fist fight and beaten the guy to a pulp. (Projecting much will?)

But know he’s thinking, why not just kill that bitch, Hannibal was with? And not with his fists with a gun, the man doesn’t deserve any form of intimacy.

So as one does he finds the guys address and sneaks in, only to find Hannibal THERE. And in a fit of absolute hatred shoots Antony dead in the head. No guilt, Before turning on Hannibal. Who’s looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, before noticing it’s Will. And he smiles and gos to talk before Will interrupts him.

“It doesn’t matter what I do, does it? I’ll never be enough for you, you have your fun with me then throw me out, when I’ve grown boring”

before taking the gun off Hannibal. And ATTEMPTING to shoot himself, but Hannibal smacks the gun off course. So he ends up shooting himself in the arm (like where chiyoh shot him) and passes out from blood loss.

Then the rest of the fic would be Hannibal trying to fix the damage he’s done

i'll be so honest, there's been about 50 different flavors of this happening in my mind at any given time

Hannibal being an absolute shit with how he's gone about he and Will's relationship can spring so many different versions of this, to the point where i've desperately wanted to write something with it but i've struggled with knowing exactly how to go about it, because there's just so many ways to do it that i can't settle for one

personally, i don't tend to go the route of Will trying to kill himself if only because he's relatively used to stewing in depression, but teetering on the edge is not to say that something couldn't push him over the edge. the way i always imagine it is him, as usual, resigning himself to this life. he's drained of the joy of it, left with bitterness and resentment and aching, and yet this time around he also just feels so painfully empty. there's a hollow void that isn't going to be filled, Hannibal's made that abundantly clear through his lack of action, so why bother hoping? once again, just another person Will isn't good enough for. he exists to understand Hannibal and that's it, nothing further. no other meaning.

and, of course, Hannibal doesn't enjoy his Will without his passion, so he'd know something's amiss pretty quickly. but he's not going to ask so directly, he's going to poke and prod and guide, but Will's too tired and convinced his little world with Hannibal will never get better than what it is and he's too tired and he wants to go home but doesn't even know where home is anymore, because apparently it's not with him.

Will's feeling like a discarded toy, tossed aside when it became old hat only to be picked up when the owner gets curious.

he's not engaging in their little philosophical back and forths. he's not killing. he comes to bed, if only to lay curled up on his side, facing away from Hannibal, laying still until his grief for something he never had becomes a physical thing in the room and Hannibal has to reach out to him just to be able to breathe again.

of course, Will would break eventually, but until then he's just going day to day, mind on the bleak past and even bleaker future until it makes for a bleak present, and Hannibal's watching the life leave his eyes while being completely ignorant to it being his fault.

sometimes i think he'd stay and everything would break down that way, sometimes i think he'd leave (or try to) and Hannibal would go looking for him, because after all this time, Hannibal refuses to be without him. not again.

but like i said, all the intricacies of it could be so different that it's difficult to actually jot down.

#HEAVY tw for discussions of depression and suicide here everyone #be careful

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practically-an-x-man · 3 months

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Which of our OCs would get along the best, and which would absolutely loathe each other

Ooooh good question! I'm gonna try to organize this as best I can...

Rae: - Would get along with: Kayla! They had somewhat similar backstories in a way, coming into their power as retaliation for trying to protect someone they love, and she'd appreciate Kayla's sense of justice and devotion to doing good - Would loathe: Director Hawke. For one thing, she's a superhuman who isn't a witch (she's a mutant), so there would already be tension there, and Rae has such a strong sense of justice that it would end in more than a few fights

Robin: - Would get along with: Pippa comes to mind, I think they'd bond, but I also think she'd develop a fondness/friendship for Hyun-Ki while trying to save him from Jessi's control - Would loathe: Jessi. Between being deaf and having sonic powers herself, she's immune to Jessi's hypnosis, and it leaves her with a complete and utter hatred for how she chooses to use her powers.

Madison: - Would get along with: I'm going with Liah, actually. She's a bit pacifistic for Madison's tastes, and Madison would definitely insist on teaching her some sort of self-defense, but overall they'd get along really well (and seeing Liah be so comfortable with her nonhuman appearance would help Madison get more comfortable with her own mutations) - Would loathe: Hm... Esme. She'd feel very shallow and image-focused to Madison, whether or not that's true, and they wouldn't get along.

Ophelia: - Would get along with: Siv for sure. I mean, we've chatted offhandedly about it, but I really do think they'd make good allies and would be friends despite all the rampant taunting of each other - Would loathe: Max. She'd respect his tech out of academic curiosity, but they'd be on opposite sides and it would end in a lot of really nasty fights and property damages.

Jasper: - Would get along with: Cory! They'd be alt besties for sure - Would loathe: Ameerah. At first they might bond over their shared empathic abilities, but then Jasper would learn what she does with her ability in behavioral therapy and would get so disgusted that they can't go back.

Katherine: - Would get along with: Reggie! They have so many similar experiences to bond over together! - Would loathe: Onnie for sure. As someone who's worked closely with actual gods, Onnie's god complex would really get on her nerves. And that's not even mentioning all the issues of morality and violence.

Quinn: - Would get along with: Jay. He reminds her of Billy, for one, and they can bond over their experiences with their disabilities and how they came into them - Would loathe: In a weird way... Pyrrha, actually. It's really just jealousy of her prosthetics - she doesn't know the backstory behind them, so to her it just looks like Pyrrha has access to boundless tech that grants her all the mobility Quinn has lost. If they actually got over themself and tried to make friends, they could get close, but Quinn just can't get past the unconscious biases and jealousy of everything Pyrrha's able to do

Kestrel: - Would get along with: Arya. They'd bond over their love of harmless chaos and both being changelings/fae-related, and Kestrel would be largely immune to Arya's siren-calls so there's no risk of danger there. - Would loathe: Also Director Hawke. I was trying not to have any duplicates in this lineup, especially since you have so many OCs to work with, but the fact of the matter is that Hawke would try to sell Kestrel on the black market.

Eris: - Would get along with: Anyone that would give them a good fight, and be strong enough to get back up and do it again. Max and Laila come to mind. - Would loathe: Meredith. They don't understand her hesitance or refusal to just jump into a battle, and she gets just as irritated by his reckless violence - it's a strange detail to get hung up on, but it grates on both of them and they can never really bond.

Nikoletta: - Would get along with: Cassandra. Her dark magic and immunity to Nikoletta's shadow-touch would make her about the only person Nikoletta can relax around, and they're fairly similar women even beyond that. - Would loathe: Ember. She's not used to having people reach out or try to help her, so she'd distrusting of Ember's selfless tendencies and assumes he has some ulterior motive (even when they really are just trying to help). For a long time, Nikoletta believes that no action truly comes from the goodness of someone's heart, and believes Ember's always out to get something from her.

Indigo: - Would get along with: Thalia. She'd really respect her for defying what was expected of her and building her own life out of it, which is something Indie's always struggled to do. - Would loathe: Athena seems like the most obvious answer, but yeah it would be Athena.

Prometheus: - Would get along with: Hailey. They probably eased her nightmares while she was overseas, and continues to ease her nightmares even after her death (she's still conscious, and technically still exists in the Waking world... it counts, okay?) - Would loathe: The Negative Speed Force. It reminds them too much of other nightmares, or even themself as a nightmare before they became Prometheus

#my friends!!!#answered asks #my ocs #rae mckinney #robin cassidy #madison douglas #ophelia octavius #jasper wilson #oc kestrel #oc quinn/aces #oc katherine johnson #oc eris #nikoletta bordeaux #oc indigo #oc prometheus #revan ocs

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spacehostilityy · 8 months

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NNT Rewatch s2ep7-12 !!

(Still from my drafts! Just moved back to college yesterday and today and classes start tomorrow. Wish me luck! My schedule sucks this year so I'll need it lol)

man this is flying by!! but lucky me, the druids’ holy land arc is one of my favorites

King learning throughout this season that not only does he need the other Sins, but they need and love him is so sweet. I just love the character development they all go thru this season

draw him like one of your french girls ~~

I love that Matrona has purple eyes like Diane, the small details really make it

I actually NEED to know what Monspeet and Meliodas’s relationship was prior to his betrayal. “I can’t believe HE’S the one who sensed us” ?? Whats that about🤨 also zeldris and monspeet seem to have been in good terms, like were they all friends?

I don’t know how its possible, but Monspeet’s voice is even hotter in spanish

I love that despite galand not being able to lie, they still don’t believe his stories lol

KAJSDKWUDFL I forgot how shocked i was with the reveal that Merlin stole Mel’s power i just love the druid training arc sm

theyre so silly i love them

do we know why jenna and zaneri don’t have wings? are they just hidden with magic or something??

okie so apparently they’re just inhabiting human bodies and their real bodies had wings. found this on the wiki, do we know where the info comes from?

WAIT do jenna and zaneri know elizabeth?? Like KNOW her?

HAHAHA this part always destroys me

ngl the best thing seven deadly sins as an narrative does is portray the intense agony and trauma from mel and ellie’s curses

anyway... the fact that Meliodas and Zaratras were of equal rank when they met is kinda funny

the absolute horror on meliodas’s face when he hears liz is just PERFECT

liz is so slay she’s everything i want elizabeth liones to be

King: uhh hey jenna...🥺 what are you planning to have us do in there😓

Jenna: isnt it obvious??? 🤨 rigorous training 😤😤

the way they cut btwn scenes of meliodas abt to lose it and him and liz being happy is just so well done

I love that they were trying to get Meliodas to abandon his emotions to keep his rage in check and then when he actually has no emotions we find out that he’s straight up evil and much, MUCH worse than before lol

the tears pooling on their insanely pointy chins always gets me lol. but also mel just violently sobbing and then suddenly being fine. Mans has serious issues with repression that can def be drawn to his daddy issues

BAN/ZHIVAGO ARC😭😭😭 a few observations: Ban is very clearly influenced by Zhivago’s style, like the clothes are so similar, the fact that they sent Ban to Aberdeen prison and his favorite is Aberdeen ale makes me think he associates it with his dad, Zhivago was hot, Ban mirrors Zhivago’s words to him to Elaine, Zhivago tells Ban to never trust humans and the only humans he ends up trusting are Escanor and Jericho, zhivago has lived in misery about the deaths of his children for almost 40 years :(

idk why this is one of my fave arcs it’s literally just angst lol

gil and howzer as boyfriends. Discuss.

seeing gowther fight hand to hand is actually pretty cool, i had assumed he was weak like king but he can hold his own

how did king not clue in when galand literally opened with “Meliodas its been such a long time” like BABE CMON

BAN TELLING JERICHO SHE’S HIS WALLET 😭😭

meliodas just mocking king for his lack of wings is always funny. nothing like a dick joke to make you feel better after Zhivago’s death

I HAVE to do a meliodas self hatred/relationship to being a demon post, i have so many thots

I LOVE WHEN HE GOES TO SEE THE 10 COMMANDMENTS HES SO BADASS

monspeet shielding Derieri from the rocks with his cape🥺

melascula is so sassy i love her

estarossa is my deranged babygirl i love him. that fucking freak

I JUST KNOW TAIZOO AND THAT LITTLE TWINK ARE FUCKING

taizoo is a bottom.

meliodas somehow has 15 year old rizz. like the fucking blond boys.

(not so) fun fact: Elaine is my mom’s name so its a little weird

nakaba’s size kind seriously needs to be studied

ESCANORRRRRR

okie doke that’s it join us next time !!

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emophilzablr · 8 months

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Here she is, BPD analysis.

— Disclaimer: I am not a professional, I did study psychology for most of my life and my credentials to this is simply the fact that I am BPD as well. I also want to highlight that these symptoms can also be AUTISM! And that maybe that is even more relatable to him, though, you can have both, because they really tend to coexist

Here are the symptoms of BPD, and either if he shows them or not, or if its believed he does. Remembering you don't need to have all of them, you need to fit the criteria, of some specific ones, that differentiate BPD from disorders like Bipolar and depression, and they all overlap with Autism which causes a confusion in diagnosis.

• Fear of rejection and abandonment: He keeps count of every time he was rejected, his biggest struggle in life was with the fact that Amelia rejected him, replaced him, and abandoned him, he has been in the loop of this trauma for years, it never leaves him, because that's his biggest fear coming true. His fear of boringness or of being mediocre is also in this, he wants to overcompensate so people don't reject or leave him again. Also, this symptom comes with a pattern that is very very common in this symptom, leaving first, losing interest after the chase, people with BPD leave first to not get abandoned.

• Intense and unstable relationships: We know that his romantic relationships are always like this, incredibly intense at first and then it dies out or they leave or he leaves, and they tend to be unstable while it was happening, especially with Amelia, it was incredibly unstable and toxic for both.

• 8/80 relationships, going from intense love to nothing or to hatred: It seems like most of them have this, a big start, and a terrible ending, either it going to nothing or strong resentment (Amelia's case) It also has a part of this not talked, that after this hatred passes, BPD people tend to come back, and, blame themselves which well, next symptom.

• Villain complex: Most BPD people experience this, seeing themselves as absolute horrible monsters, most of his songs make him the villain, he really highlights like hey i'm a horrible person, and this is very, very common. I think funnily enough, C!Wilbur is a perfect demonstration of this part of him, it's a self insert of the Villain he makes himself to be.

• Constant changes in personality: We have seen this, even as a streamer, in a place he was never truly himself, he's always changing completely who he is, even though it's a character. I also feel that the fact that he has so many characters that are all clearly self inserts is a way to express this self image issue he has, going on a limb here but you get it. He also seems to struggle with his appearance and self image and tends to become a sponge when with others.

• Impulsive behavior: So this is many factors, getting from the internet straight up “Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship” He does a bunch of those, he did have a problem with abusing alcohol, most of us believe he did that with coke as well, we know that he impulsively drops all his responsibilities and doesn't keep up his promises, that he's constantly moving, constantly dropping and then coming back to it, that he can be super excited for something and then suddenly not be anymore, he's always ruining his relationships even though some of them are good just because he found something more exciting. He has binge eaten too but I don't know if that is something he always does.

• Self harm/Suicidal tendencies: He shows few of these, some of his songs imply that he was in a mental state that this could happen, what we know is that he did punch a window, accidentally he says, but we don't know, I think his form of self harm is self sabotage.

• Paranoia: This is something that is not spoken much about BPD but I think even his hypochondria could be a symptom since BPD is very prone to paranoia, and his is based on his health, he thinks he's dying literally all the time, that he's sick and that he has something, this is pure paranoid behavior.

• Mood swings: We don't know if he has many, we do know he has Bipolar signs in this, expressing more stages of depression and mania, but he also has constant anxiety problems, which can all be part of this symptom in specific.

• Emptiness: Another one that is incredibly necessary, and we know this is his main affliction most times, he feels apathetic all the fucking time, it's his favorite word in music, he shows this idea that he's incapable of loving too that is part of this emptiness, he thinks he doesn't feel anything because there's nothing inside him type of thing.

• Anger: This is inconclusive, it is to believe that when he was younger he was a very angry person, we don't know if that's still there, but, we know it was a problem at some point.

#emophilza nation #critblr #charlie speaks #charlie psychoanalysis #bpd #the infamous bpd analysis #he might be autistic tho #he is not npd btw yall are crazy

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navree · 1 year

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Do you think they will turn Aegon into a depraved clone of Joffery? Let's be real they give him the most cartoonish scenes for a reason . But really i find it weird how anyone would read the book then be thinking yeah Aegon ii was the original joffery. I mean if I'm going to compare Aegon to any character of the main series, i will say it's theon greyjoy and Tyrion who are the most similar characters to him , maybe Robert too? Since Robert has revolted against Aerys because Aerys wanted his head and ned's as well also Robert never wanted to be a king? That similar to Aegon kinda

Also if they turned him into joffery2 this will be the most boring, predictable route for his character. But i guess Showrunners these days are not that creative to create a nuance and grey story , so the easiest way is turn it into Joffery0.2 vs Daenerys0.2

I don't have the most faith that they'll give Aegon his due, but unlike most I do actually avoid a lot of the doomcasting I tend to see about season 2 because a) we know absolutely nothing about season 2 given that I think at most it's still in early pre-production b) they're going to have more space next season. The consequence of the show having done so many time jumps is that we got a very limited amount of time with Aegon (he's got like one focal scene in episode 6 and he's very much a background character in episode 7 except when he goes along with Aemond's lie, and then two episodes, both of which he's more of a side character in until his coronation), so they really couldn't give us a lot with him beyond some incredibly bare bones characterization. That means we need to know that he's got substance abuse problems, he's a mess of a person, and he gets all wet and pathetic the second someone shows him a scrap of love. Do I think that was a good decision? No, I think it was dumb, but that's the corner they drew themselves into. But that's not gonna be the case for season 2.

We're pretty much gonna be dumb with big time jumps I think, so that means we're going to have a full ten episodes to get to know Aegon, and given that the writers have shown an openness to listen to TGC and follow his insights on the character, as well as keep in things that he's improvised to improve on him, they're probably going to have more leniency towards showing different facets of his character. And unless everyone comes down with a big case of stupid-itis (and while I have issues with these writers, they're not dumb), Blood and Cheese and its aftermath is likely going to get a whole episode to itself, which alone is going to give us a lot of pretty layered Aegon content. And I don't think they'll lean too heavily on the Joffrey stuff either, because while there's been jokes about it, when you look at the writing that doesn't seem to be where it's going.

The Joffrey comparisons are trite and annoying form a fandom perspective, but I think that the writers are likely going to avoid it just from sheer luck based on the fact that Joffrey and Aegon, even show Aegon, are very different people. Aegon, as portrayed to us, is a drunken lech who avoids responsibilities and also has so many issues surrounding love and self worth. Meanwhile, Joffrey doesn't have any of those. Joffrey doesn't avoid responsibility unless he gets bored, he doesn't have nearly any of the self worth issues that Aegon does (Aegon doesn't think anybody loves or cares for him and appears to have a deep rooted self hatred, which isn't conjecture that's basically me quoting TGC, Joffrey thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread), and most importantly, Joffrey is heavily coded as being genuinely psychologically disturbed. And I'm not talking in a "lol Aegon's got some issues in his head guys" kind of a way, Joffrey is clearly written to have some sort of personality disorder. It's more explicit in the book where he does shit like torture animals and is more sexual in his brutalization of Sansa, which in our modern world are clear red flags for kids who've got some kind of antisocial personality disorder (idk how valid people consider the homicidal triad in today's psychiatry but torturing/killing animals is one third of it), but even in the show universe Joffrey's clearly meant to be fucked in the head. Aegon doesn't have that, so anything beyond a cursory "eh I mean they're both kings that some people don't like" literally cannot be done without making the entire show whack. Joffrey has genuine severe mental problems (likely meant to be a result of incest) that would get him under psychiatric observation if he lived in our world, Aegon needs a stint in rehab and a therapist and also isn't being written to exhibit any sociopathic tendencies. Sorry to Burlington Bar.

(And also Alicent and Cersei raised their children very differently, especially book Cersei who is completely blind to the kind of person Joffrey was, but let's be real we're not expecting anybody who's pro-Blacks to understand nuance when it comes to Alicent, and also the Alicent/Cersei parallels are so surface level it's bordering on annoying)

The issue with Aegon I'm anticipating the most isn't necessarily bad development, it's under development. My most pessimistic view is that they're going to keep treating Aegon as more of a side character than he should be, while keeping main focus on Rhaenyra and Alicent and Daemon and Aemond, while characters who should be mains, like Corlys and Rhaenys and Aegon, are going to be getting less screentime and development than they need, especially for such major players. Do I think that's what's going to happen 100%? No, I don't know what's going to happen 100%, and I'm choosing to give the writers the benefit of the doubt due to what I've seen so far and the fact that there's a lot more I like about season 1 than I dislike. So they might go more along the route of someone like Tyrion or Theon or Robert (even tho Theon definitely wasn't a good guy in season 2 and also Robert was an ass who deserved to get gored by that boar), especially given that Ryan(?) said he was anticipating people switching sides and viewing things differently in season 2 and also the writers' clear vendetta against Daemon and poor Matt Smith.

Also they can't really do Rhaenyra as Daenerys because Rhaenyra and Daenerys are two verrrrrrrry different characters in many different ways, and I do say that as a positive towards Dany and a slight on Rhaenyra (I'd go into that more but this ain't about them this is about my sweet Eggo)

#personal #answered #anonymous #i'm willing to be more optimistic than most for reasons listed above and also #i just don't see the point in getting all upset about something i have no information on #we have zero knowledge of anything related to season 2 we don't even know which events it's going to span #so i don't see the need in working myself up #i'm a very live and let live kinda person it's why i don't believe in hate watching unless i'm genuinely curious

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raibaru · 2 years

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Hi! It’s me! I just wanted to go ahead and request a small drabble/story/headcanons (your choice! ☺️) of female chubby reader having issues seeing themselves attractive around John Doe and not taking his flirting seriously 🥺 but he finds out why and just doubles up on romancing them?

If it’s too long or anything bad lose I’m so sorry—I just need some plus size comfort 😭 being thicc is tough

Please and thank you though!

Yes of course!! I’m chubby too teehee =w= I’d love to write this for you, or for anybody watching!!

Slightly insecure chubby female reader x John Doe (comfort, fluff? Tw: insecurity)

She couldn’t help but just stand in the mirror. Gazing upon her body, taking in everything she hated, looking at it. The stretch marks, the rolls, the hip dips. Why? She thought. Why can’t I be like those pretty models? I hate this. I HATE looking like this.

All these terrible thoughts, all this insecurity. She knew if she wanted to get the body she’d want, she’d have to work for it. She knew that sitting around, laying in bed and doing absolutely nothing about it wouldn’t help, but she was just so exhausted. Mentally exhausted from all this work, all these bills and taxes to pay, expectations and hardly any sleep. She just couldn’t.

She began to cry. Why. Is all she could think. Why was she so tired? Why was life so exhausting? Why did she gain so much weight for eating anything at all? Even starving herself wasn’t reassuring or comforting at all, it just felt worse on her. Or telling herself that its her fault she’s like this.

“But I like it! You’re so squishy!!” Doe would squeal with delight, glancing at the very things she hated and looking at them as if they’re pieces of art on you.

You shook your head, letting the insecurity and self-hatred take over your mind and doubt. “No, Doe.” You said, covering yourself uncomfortably. “Y-you can’t mean that. Look at me!” You’d cry.

“What? No, no, no! Of course I mean it! Oh don’t cry beautiful..” Even though he hated any type of liquid, he couldn’t care less about wiping your salty tears away.

But no matter how many times he’d tell you he loved you, hugged you, held you, reassured you, you just could grasp it.

You continued crying as you leaned over the sink. So many insecure and hateful thoughts flooded your mind like massive tidal waves on the coast of the ocean.

“Why can’t I be different..?” She whispered softly, her voice shaking.

There was a soft knock on the door. “Y/n, sweetheart?” Doe said.

Y/n gasped suddenly and quickly put her shirt back on and made a pathetic attempt at wiping her tears, but still kept crying.

“Oh no! Honey what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Is something wrong? Are you hungry? Are you on your period? Oh don’t worry I bought you things in case that happened, I’ll be right back!” He said quickly, hardly giving Y/n a chance to interrupt.

“No!” She shouted.

Doe paused, and tilted his head. “Oh? Then what’s wrong honey?”

You sniffed, and tried to explain, but burst into sobs almost instantly. Seeing you at this state almost made him want to cry, but, he physically can’t for some reason. He pulled you in close to him, hugging you tightly

He hates this as much as you do, he never wanted to see you cry. He hated when you hated the way you looked in front of him, thinking you weren’t worthy of his love just because of the way you looked. He rubbed your back soothingly, waiting until you calmed down. “Shhh…”

As you calmed down, he could hum songs. Anything he could do to calm you down like you would calm down a little kid when they’re crying. “I think I know what this is about.” He said softly.

Y/n sniffed. “Mhm…” she hummed.

“I know, I know honey.” He said. “I know that you think bad things about yourself and your body, but Y/n.” He pulled out of the hug, cupped your cheeks in his hands and made you meet his eyes. They were big and emotional, with broken hearts in them. He looked just as emotional and upset as she was, and she felt a strong pang of guilt.

“I love you so much. I don’t care what you look like. If it’s you then I don’t care, I love your chubby little belly it’s so cute! And no matter how much you think I don’t actually like it, then you’ve never been so wrong about something in your life! You have to believe me, Y/n. If I actually thought it was gross, which it isn’t because I love it soooo much—” He giggle as he poked you in the stomach. “— then I would’ve been gone a long time ago. Please believe me.” He gently kissed you forehead.

Once again, your burst into sobs. Not sad ones, but these sobs were full of pure love and greatfullness. Nobody has ever said such words that touched her enough to make her burst out crying.

“Oh no! Oh Darling I didn’t mean to make you cry more!” He exclaimed, looking distressed.

“No you idiot you’re making me cry with happiness!” She exclaimed, suddenly grabbing him by the shirt collar and pulling him into a gentle kiss.

(Okay that’s the end! Deff felt a little emotional after this one, since I kinda suffer the same thing as Y/n ;w; at least I can write comfort for me and other people suffering from this stuff as well. If you do suffer from the same issue the MC has, I’m truly sorry. I know it’s really hard to push away the things you hate about yourself but everyone is different and unique. It’s best to love yourself unconditionally so that you’re mentally and emotionally happier. I know that seems really hard, but doing nothing about it but judging UR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SELF won’t help X3. So it’s best to at least try. Try daily affirmations, or try eating healthy so you are less insecure. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed~!)

#john doe game #john doe visual novel #john doe horror game #fanfic #comfort #request

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allthecastlesonclouds · 4 months

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hi giving you an opportunity to infodump about wips and fic ideas <3

AGADSGFJHASDFJKH bird got my fic rambles so. you get my OCs sorry i don't make the rules they are forever a wip and i refuse to shut up about them

SO they're technically backgroundish characters for a DnD world bc Teary is part of the Pantheon for the world but. it's not about them it's about my guys!!

so teary is the son of Light and Shadows. his full name is tearithus, because why the hell not he can have some drama as a treat, he starts as a funky little imp, a bard-esque guy, who's kind of the comedic relief? he's the least toxic-masculinity-ified man you've ever met, though, because. his mother refused. their story is in three arcs and between one and two he gets mass promoted from imp to archdevil bc. yknow. saving the world and all that jazz. anyway he gets some body issues deals with that for a While. he deals with them by creating a magic circle that creates a 'permanent' shape change on his body to send his actual form to the ethereal plane. (he does not deal with them for a While.) he's loud and dramatic until literally anyone in the party starts talking, and then. he just sits and listens.

and his bestie my bestie chara. it's not her actual name (that's barely shared bc. points. fae). her title is the lady of fire, keeper of memories and watcher of time, but she doesn't try to get into that much. she's just a sad gay phoenix woman who misses her wife. she is So Self-Sacrificing and for what? Self hatred?? anyway she lost her wife in the First War, got her wife's Orb, and realized that she's possibly never going to see her wife again because her soul is nowhere. she's a fae (bc phoenix) and so struggles a lot in transitions between realms, but the transition that hit her hardest was, naturally, faerie to material. her wife helped her then. a millenia later, teary shows up at her doorstep, bleeding out, and she helps him just how she was helped. she has innate magic (sorcerer!!) and absolutely loves fucking with her own appearance. her spellcasting focus is her wedding ring– when she realized teary set up the Circle to hide his appearance, she said she wouldn't tell if he hid her ring too– focuses are targeted, she points out, and she'll be damned if she ever loses that. she can die and 'be reborn', but it's based on deals: if she dies, she gets sent to Liminality, too far from where she knows safety, and a Demon or Angel pops up to offer her a deal. she haggles and returns to life with some benefit or disadvantage. towards the end of arc two, she gets hung, and returns in a blaze of fire with true sight, but her Actual Vision is taken– her eyes are pure flame.

if duos were made of my guys, chara and mini would get paired up a lot just because teary and august are Love Interests TM. this whole friend group are Friends With Each Other, and these two have that good good sapphic/aroace bonding. they're besties. they're competitors. they have completely different views on the gods. mini, if i had to sum them up in a 'describe your character like Shit challenge,' would be: an amnesiac ghost wakes up in the Liminality with a sword and decides to solve a mystery. mini is self named– short for minutia– and they're a paladin of the Innkeeper, one of the Pantheon (Time). Mini's title starts as 'The Sword of the Innkeeper' and they are a damn good paladin. they don't have control over too many things at the start– their main motivation is to know Who They Are– but, really, their main arc is finding themself in the world itself, figuring out that they are not defined by who they were in life. it helps that, being a ghost and a dead elf, they have almost complete resistance to magical effects on physical forms and non-magic weapons– they will refuse to die. they're not naïve, but they are optimistic, which pairs them and teary together against chara and august pretty often, who are a bit more pessimistic/pragmatic.

and! speaking of august! my darling augustine, High Angel of Mercy. she begins the story serving under Life, but ends up just serving the cause, the belief of Mercy. She, of all Immortals, is the one pushing closest to Godhood without being one. she doesn't want to be one. she died half a decade into the First War– she was followed home from a town square performance and shot twice– and she's been Working In This Vein of Bullshit for the longest. if i had to give her a dnd class it would be monk: she does the punches, not the magics, but thoroughly diverts the 'magics person is the leader, punchies are the henchman with no thoughts' idea by Being So On Top Of Her Shit. she's got portals set up to each Plane, commissions Sending Earrings/Rings for the group, does a lot of Heaven's paperwork, and is too much of a perfectionist to not Have Her Shit Together. she's not, exactly, go-with-the-flow as much as the rest of the group is, because she is Terrified Of Fucking Up, but she is ruthless and impulsive in battle once she knows the people she's fighting have Wronged in a way that cannot be reprieved. also, she likes to dance. wonder what that's about? couldn't be her Life.

teary and chara have known each other the longest: legends build, you see, and townsfolk are afraid, and so when Teary came to the Material he got shot. a couple times. and a kind soul in the woods told him of the Firebird in the Mountains, so you best believe he hightailed it up there. he found her, and she helped him, and they have tea every Tuesday, where they absolutely gossip and are happy to admit it.

teary and august met next: teary works in hell for a Long While– being an imp, not a god, where would he go?– and august is basically the Deal With Anything Anywhere department of heaven, so when some trappings of Uncanny Necromancy starts to pop up on the material– and they're summoning from both Heaven and Hell– august goes Give Me One'a You Guys and gets teary to help her out. they become friends and just. keep working together.

then there's something messing with faerie, their souls being trapped in heaven instead of melting into the Being Of The World, and teary goes 'gustie i know a guy' and drags in chara. chara and august are DELIGHTED with each other and bond over lightly ribbing teary and also pretty women and also the world is fucked up and we lost Too Much to War, didn't we? anyway they get that cleared up :)

mini comes along last– it's 6 years into the Second War when heaven and hell stop receiving souls and august realizes there's a backup at the Inn at The End of The World. the innkeeper goes Help Me Please the Inn Isn't Made To Hold This Many People and mini, being one of these souls and being nosy and also knowing 'hey i worshipped this one. that's my Diety Right There' goes how can i help? and! the party is complete!

i'll shut up now but there may be a post about the Pantheon if i'm ever prompted with anything because. these ones are my guys but the Pantheon lets me weave words yknow?

#castles ocs #ren <3 #listen. i love them. theyre my darlings.#and i'm talking i guess #i did art of teary and mini and august a while back (not cassie. she's hard) but. the designs aren't up to date so :/ as of now unposted!#this ask was likely about fanfics bc it was a wip ask game but. my GUYS. it's my GUYS. i don't care how tropey they are i LOVE them

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