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#and ham fisted family speeches this show has
pendragonsclotpole · 1 month
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hi i just started watching that 911 show in the background while working thinking it would be a basic cop show/procedural drama i could play for white noise to boost my productivity like i did with all six seasons of SWAT (shout out to shemar moore’s overly passionate pecs and BECAUSE SWAT IS FAMILY speeches and that one ryan and shane cameo for getting me through my job onboarding months ago) and avoid the attention issues i get with british legal and cop dramas (shout out to the current loml rupert penry jones on silk and whitechapel, his roles as clive reader and di chandler are iconic)
and like yes. 911 is exactly that. so cringey. so feel warm-y and trite in the worst ways possible, filled with random monologues, oddly paced and placed one-liners, random quote intros that desperately try to replicate the word bangers of criminal minds, unnecessary flashbacks interspersed in the worst episode arcs ever and completely destroying the suspense, and with the weirdest combination of over-acting and under-acting in the entire fucking world that i have ever seen, and some entire scenes i just cannot stand to watch but do anyway because of how unrealistic and ridiculous they are but oh my god when this show hits its high points, it hits them
i need angela bassett’s athena grant to come and railroad my life. i want her to point her finger in my face and threaten to cuff me to my bed like she did that boyfriend in that season one episode (and yes THAT HAPPENED THANK GOD THE BUCK CENTRIC SEXY SCENES DID NOT LAST AS LONG AS SOME OTHER SHOWS COUGH SWAT COUGH BUT WHY NO MORE ATHENA?) you my friends have not lived until you’ve seen her on the other end of a huge tv screen raising her eyebrow and acting like she’s about to beat you up with nothing more than her commanding tone.
and also like all the other fucking characters.
i watched this show hoping to have inane drama and dialogue watching over me while i send emails and plan. i did not watch this show to bite my nails over maddie buckley’s psycho ex husband storyline, nor to swoon over the romance between to her and chimney (howard han i would die for you, your bg episode was so sad but so beautiful and if you had died i wouldve been so sad, yours were the flashbacks that won me over), nor to fangirl over ROBERT FUCKING NASH AND HIS GUILT COMPLEX (I LOVE YOU BOBBY), or to have my heart grow three sizes with the fucking tsunami episode
like you guys, i was on the edge of my seat, eating my dinner and actually wondering if they were about to kill off christopher diaz and break my heart and buck’s heart and ruin everything and like they didnt but now evan buckley’s character growth is such an inspiration and i just dont want him to fuck it up by trying to go back to work early and ahhhhhhhhhhh this was supposed to be a casual watch but now im writing this so im gonna have to find something else or worse go back to watching silk or whitechapel in the bg and be enraptured by rupert
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nightingaelic · 3 years
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One I've always been infuriated by: you can't take a companion to Honest Hearts because the caravan is at capacity, but you can get Ricky kicked out. So New Vegas companions follow the Courier to Zion: what hilarity ensues?
Arcade Gannon: While Arcade is absolutely not a fan of Caesar's Legion, he's reserved enough not to shoot the Burned Man as soon as he appears, and he may even test the former Malpais Legate's philosophy and convictions in some sparring of wits once he feels comfortable enough [Speech 75]. Arcade thinks that Graham has replaced Caesar in his life with God, switching out a human tyrant for a nebulous deity: Graham argues that Arcade's desire for a wishfully-thought, balanced world springs out of an unsatisfied need for internal harmony, one he might find through spirituality. The courier can only stand an hour or so of this back-and forth before giving up and leaving Angel Cave to go find some geckos to hunt. Follows-Chalk amuses Arcade, and he encourages the young scout's desire to explore pre-war ruins: After all, there's always something to be learned by studying who and what came before you. Waking Cloud earns Arcade's utmost respect with her knowledge of medicine and of the canyon's natural order, but he would likely be disappointed with Daniel's and Graham's encroaching influence on the Sorrows' faith.
Craig Boone: Fight on sight with Joshua Graham, which leaves the Burned Man's bandages a little bloodier than normal but is ultimately broken up by the courier before any real harm is done. A shouting match ensues in the middle of the Dead Horses' camp, with Boone airing all of Graham's atrocities at maximum volume and the courier admitting skepticism of the man's change of heart, but still wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Boone wins and the Dead Horses must be convinced of Graham's crimes in the wider world [Speech 100], or the New Vegas visitors beat a hasty retreat from Zion [Speech 85/100]. Maybe the courier wins and Boone realizes that the Burned Man already lives a life wreathed in the pain he inflicted during his decades of Legion service and the eternal mark of Caesar's fury. Either way, Boone is on edge for the remainder of the time in Zion Canyon, and doesn't make too many friends. Follows-Chalk takes a shine to him though, and Boone admits that the scout makes for a decent spotter. I don't think Boone would form a strong connection with Zion until encountering the diaries of Randall Dean Clark, and realizing that the people the courier was trying to save were the chosen loved ones of a man not unlike himself.
Lily Bowen: Having Lily along on the trip to Zion might give some of the other caravan members a chance of surviving, as I don't think the White Legs are used to encountering super mutants and would probably falter anyway at a courier backed up by a giant nightkin grandmother swinging around a vertibird blade [Terrifying Presence]. The Burned Man's appearance in the canyon doesn't bother or even interest her, but she loudly laments the Dead Horses' practice of hunting bighorners rather than taming them. In contrast, Lily loves the Sorrows' treatment of Zion's wildlife, particularly their domestication of geckos. The tame geckos are terrified of her. Of all the inhabitants of Zion, Lily would best relate to Waking Cloud, finding common ground with the tribal midwife on topics like motherhood, the uprooting of a happy life and respect for nature. I think the courier would recognize this bond and even give Lily the chance to complete White Bird's rite of passage herself, defeating the Ghost of She with the courier and Waking Cloud's help. Lily would be most likely to leave Zion with more friends and family than when she entered it.
Raul Alfonso Tejada: Apart from being somewhat of a living ghost himself, I don't think Raul would have much in common with Joshua Graham. While they're both trying to atone for mistakes they've made, their respective mistakes are in completely different time zones. Plus, I don't think Graham talks to ghouls much, thanks to his history with the Legion. Maybe Raul would share a tip with the Burned Man about .45 maintenance, maybe some helpful info about caring for damaged skin if he's feeling generous, but their relationship wouldn't go far beyond that. Like Boone, the story of the Father in the Cave strikes a chord with the old ghoul, and he might seek out Clark's final resting place with the courier to give the man a proper send-off and burial. Similarly, I think he would sympathize with Daniel and his attempts to help the Sorrows, and what bond he might have built with Graham would instead grow with the Mormon missionary. On the side, though, I think he might teach some Sorrows a few phrases in Spanish to heckle the man with, just for fun [Wild Wasteland].
Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Convincing Cass to accompany the courier to Zion in the first place would probably be a feat in and of itself [Barter 62], and once the White Legs appear over the horizon and start assaulting the caravan, Cass might just admit out loud that she and any crew she travels with are cursed. From there, every new piece of the story would entertain her to no end. The most wanted man in Caesar's Legion is just hiding out in a canyon in Utah. The remnants of Vault 22's inhabitants are scattered all over the landscape, meaning Ricky would've eventually been caught in his lie if he'd actually made it to Zion. The Mormons are here, and they're arguably more enthusiastic about proselytizing the tribes than they are about helping them escape and defend themselves. I think Cass would be the most angry and vocal about that last part, and might even wind up arguing with Graham and Daniel about how the only part of their faith they should be spreading right now is the belief in making amends for their actions: Namely, leading the White Legs to Zion in the first place. She would probably be the only one of the companions to propose going to Salt-Upon-Wounds and discovering the tribe's motivations and the manipulations of Ulysses and Caesar, and maybe convincing the war chief that he is being used [Speech 100].
Veronica Santangelo: The Brotherhood Scribe finds a kindred spirit in Follows-Chalk, and the two quickly become fast friends. The young scout happily shares the history and practices of the Dead Horses with her, and in return, Veronica tells stories about the wonders of New Vegas that she has seen while traveling the Mojave with the courier. Joshua Graham creeps Veronica out though, but her own curiosity leads her to prod the courier into interrogating the Malpais Legate by proxy. Like Cass, Veronica would be annoyed with the Mormons' roles among the tribes, but unlike Cass, she lacks the knowledge and context needed to convince them to take some steps back. She is, however, good at tracking down evidence to back up her suspicions, and she and the courier might be able to find evidence of the Legion's influence on the White Legs by poking around their camps [Sneak 73]. Veronica is also in awe of Waking Cloud, particularly of her skill with the yao guai gauntlet. Once she's picked her jaw up off the floor, the Scribe asks the midwife to show her some techniques and help her affix some yao guai claws to her own power fist [Unstoppable Force].
ED-E: The little robot is a huge novelty in the Zion Canyon, and ED-E hams it up for every curious individual that approaches it in the Dead Horses camp and the Narrows. The courier can't help but smile with every quizzical beep, bounce and zoom around the members of the tribes, but they keep the robot closer in Zion to protect against White Legs storm drums and tomahawks. ED-E enjoys spotting trail markings for Follows-Chalk and tracking animals with Waking Cloud. The robot doesn't understand who Daniel is, but knows from reading his body language that he is sad. Not as sad as the man in Angel Cave, though.
Rex: As soon as Rex sets foot in the Zion Canyon, he hears danger on the wind and warns the courier. The caravan is therefore on edge before the inevitable attack, and less likely to perish in the ensuing battle. Like ED-E, Rex doesn't know who Joshua Graham is, but he knows he doesn't trust him: He smells like a wildfire, inside and out. Neither the Dead Horses nor the Sorrows keep dogs, and some members of the tribe are actively afraid of Rex, associating him with the mongrels that run ahead of White Legs raiding parties. The Sorrows are more forgiving, and Rex shows them their trust is well-placed by allowing them to pet him and inspect his mechanical parts when he lies before the campfires to rest at the courier's feet.
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winterscaptain · 3 years
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tali i have kind of a weird question? growing up my family never watched a lot of classic/common movies (we were FIRMLY a veggie tales house) so I have No Clue what like half of the movies you mention are? like I've never seen footloose or what a wonderful life or die hard? or practically... anything you've ever talked about :(
(also ive never seen mean girls but thats a oersonal failure cas I just. forget to watch it?)
do you have a fav/good movie i should start with cause I feel like I'm missing out on so much :(
hi honey!! you’re so valid, and i had LOTS of veggie tales experience growing up. i know you asked for one, but i went a lil ham on this list because you’ve unknowingly touched on one of my favorite hobbies
okay so i have a big list for you, but it’s in really manageable chunks!! i went to theatre school at the school that houses the Best Cinema School in the World (fight on, usc) and i have Opinions™!! 
if anyone has any other recs not on this list, drop em in the replies!!
i’ll put these in order of my preference/pop culture relevance, so it’s all subjective and idk what your taste is like, but if you have any questions im always here for you!! i’ve added a few notes and disclaimers along the way
this is a really good list to go off of, in general! 
okay so here are my top seven films that i never get tired of watching, in order.
skyfall
that thing you do
captain america: the first avenger/captain america: winter soldier
inglorious basterds*
the sound of music 
knives out
blazing saddles**
* inglorious basterds is a quentin tarantino movie, and tarantino isn’t for everyone. his films are always really bloody, intense, and rife with bad language. i don’t like him personally, but i love his work. this is, in my opinion, his best and funniest work
** blazing saddles is a mel brooks movie, and he’s REALLY offensive and inappropriate in his satire. it’s definitely an iconic comedy, but not to everyone’s taste. it’s one of those movies where you’re actually allowed to laugh at the really horrible jokes because it’s an equal-opportunity offense-fest lmao 
so here are some other genres and films that are a good foundation!
IN GENERAL!! i don’t like remakes. if there’s an older version of the movie, watch that one. trust me. 
i’ve also bolded a couple of key favorites on this list
romantic comedies
my best friend’s wedding
the ugly truth & 27 dresses (katherine hiegl movies ROCK)
sleepless in seattle & you’ve got mail (meg ryan and tom hanks own my ass)
when harry met sally
movies based on books/short stories
to kill a mockingbird
the book thief
the hunger games trilogy
divergent
chronicles of narnia
pride and prejudice (2005 or the bbc miniseries)
3:10 to yuma
based on a true story
ford v. ferrarri
three billboards outside of ebbing, missouri
moneyball
zero dark thirty
the king’s speech
black mass
apollo 11
documentaries*
ken burns’ civil war
ken burns’ baseball
paris is burning
blackfish
free solo
the hunting ground 
* please be advised, some of these documentaries cover some disturbing and distressing subjects. please engage responsibly!
superhero movies
iron man
the dark knight*
wonder woman
scott pilgrim vs the world (okay give me this one)
spider man 1, the amazing spider man, and spiderman: homecoming (all different spidermans, all great movies!
deadpool**
* tdk is really really dark, but the performances are immaculate.  ** deadpool is wildly inappropriate, so don’t take the R-rating lightly! it’s so funny though. so so fucking funny. 
teen favorites
10 things i hate about you
mean girls
she’s the man
easy a
heathers
70′s icons
jaws
monty python and the holy grail
butch cassidy and the sundance kid
star wars trilogy 
dirty harry
80′s classics
alien (technically in ‘79 but feels like an 80′s movie)
dirty dancing
john hughes movies!! the breakfast club, st. elmo’s fire, pretty in pink, sixteen candles, some kind of wonderful
back to the future
footloose
princess bride
90′s flicks
the matrix
three men and a baby
thelma and louise
pretty woman
notting hill
a league of their own
lgbt +
our own private idaho
brokeback mountain
moonlight
philadelphia
call me by your name
love, simon
some of these movies don’t get everything right. if you do choose to engage, engage critically and let the art make you feel something. 
tom hanks movies
yes he gets his own category
joe v the volcano 
castaway
big
saving mr banks
movies where the government saves matt damon
the martian 
saving private ryan
interstellar
jason bourne (technically he saves himself, but he’s still funded by the government)
war movies
fury
band of brothers
full metal jacket
the last full measure
war horse 
1917 
hacksaw ridge
westerns
django unchained
the magnificent seven
true grit
the good the bad and the ugly
a fistful of dollars
old hollywood
an affair to remember
breakfast at tiffany’s, roman holiday (audrey hepburn is an icon of the era)
any alfred hitchcock movie, but psycho and rear window are my faves
these movies don’t get everything right. they are a product of their time and often come with insensitive and unironically offensive cultural baggage. if you so choose, engage critically. you’re still allowed to enjoy the movies, just understand what’s not acceptable! 
christmas movies
it’s a wonderful life
white christmas
a christmas story
the holiday
die hard (some people don’t think this is a christmas movie. i disagree.)
the family stone
a year without a santa clause
halloween movies
hocus pocus
beetlejuice
anything by tim burton - the nightmare before christmas, the corpse bride
the shining
the blair witch project
get out
cult classics
the rocky horror picture show
the room
reservoir dogs
jennifer’s body 
point break
these are WAY more fun with friends - please quarantine responsibly, but it's so worth the wait to watch this with a big group of people.
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nellie-elizabeth · 3 years
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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: One World, One People (1x06)
Oof, okay, so I obviously enjoyed watching this, but I do have some things I would like to discuss.
Cons:
The biggest one is honestly about Isaiah. I understand that this is a superhero show, and there's some cheesiness baked into the very concept of it. I like the idea of a triumphant ending for our heroes, where amends are made and everyone is brought some measure of peace. BUT, I feel like a more nuanced, more true to reality ending here with Isaiah might have been different. Maybe he gives a tip of the hat to Sam, says he's happy he's found his peace, but he still doesn't agree with his choices. See, the thing is, some people who have been hurt by systems want that system to acknowledge its mistake, to apologize, to make amends. That's what Sam is pushing for. He believes we can do better, and all that. And that's a wonderful perspective. But other people who have been hurt by systems might not want anything to do with that system ever again. At the end, when Sam sets up the part of the museum for Isaiah, he says "now everyone will know what you did for this country," and Isaiah seemed pleased and touched by this. But I couldn't help but think... he was forced into doing those things, and then punished for doing them. If he'd decided he didn't want acknowledgment, didn't want to be linked to the idea of American heroism... I couldn't blame him for that. It might have added more nuance to the ending. Sam could have even said that it's okay if he and Isaiah don't agree on the best way forward, they still have mutual respect, or whatever.
As a white lady, maybe I'm off base. I'm just really curious at what the reaction is going to be. All through watching this show I kept saying to myself that an ending where Sam takes up the shield and becomes Captain America can't stand on its own. There's got to be nuance. There's got to be some good justification for it. And as I'll talk about in a moment, I think they've done an okay job... but I also wouldn't be surprised to find some people enormously dissatisfied with this conclusion. Steve Rogers handed the shield to Sam, yes. But should we forget what he did before handing it over? Well, he walked away from the government and was on the run because he didn't respect their choices. Just some food for thought.
I also just want to say: ????? to that ending for John Walker? It was so bizarre to see the light banter moment between him and Bucky after Walker had quoted Lincoln. Like... that felt so out of place. And now he's being made into an American agent? I don't understand that random lady's role in events. I don't know if I'm supposed to think it's sinister and creepy as fuck that John still has a uniform, and even the suggestion of authority (I do think it's creepy as fuck, for the record), or if I'm supposed to be... pleased that he got a new job? Just, tonally, the stuff with Walker in this finale was all over the place. He didn't seem to really matter, and yet he was still there, and the episode didn't seem able to reckon with his presence.
Oh, also, I can totally respect a bit of ham-fisted politic in a show like this. It's really the only way to do it. But Karli saying that Lamar didn't matter, and John saying "you think Lemar's life didn't matter?" was, perhaps, a little on the nose. I'm not sure I like the BLM mouthpiece being blond haired blue eyed John Walker, especially when Lemar's death, at least as a narrative function, only happened to allow John to get sad and angry about it. Where's his wing in the museum, huh?
Also Sharon Carter, she's my girl or whatever, but I gotta admit she was kind of boring to me in this whole series. I wanted more from her. The reveal that she was the Power Broker had me shrugging. I wanted to be more shocked, but she was so clearly telegraphed as being fishy from minute one. The fact is, we haven't had enough time with this character to figure out who she actually is as a person, yet. I don't understand her, and that's a shame.
Pros:
That was a long "cons" section, especially for an episode that kept me riveted the whole way through!
First off, the action was exciting and different and had so many classic "superhero moments" while not totally abandoning a more grounded feel. Sam holding the car up was such a Moment. Also the "that's Black Falcon!" "No, that's Captain America" moment was so cheesy but exactly the right kind of cheesy, you know? We got to see everyone being a bad-ass, crowds applauding, Sam's fantastic entrance with the new suit, the wings, the shield... damn. It was all cool in the way the best Marvel products need to be.
So, Sam taking the shield. I think it works because of his speech to the politicians. Specifically calling out the power they have, and the people they have in the room with them when they make the decisions that will affect so many people. There's this wonderful moment when one of the politicians asks a legitimate question: what about people who came back after the snap to find someone else living in their house? It's so complicated. And as the show ends, we're not given a simple answer. Sam merely points out the miracle of having everyone fighting the same fight for once. These rich and powerful people have had no idea how impossible it can be, and now they're getting a taste of that. There might just be the power of equalizing in all of this.
And most important to me? The government didn't hand Sam the shield. Sam took it and took ownership of it on his own terms. Think back to the legacy of Steve and the shield, honestly. Yes, he was given it by the government, but then he stole it when he ran away, then he gave it up, then Tony gave it back to him... it's a lot more complicated than it might first appear. Nobody's going to argue that the shield was Steve's to give, and he gave it to Sam, and Sam took it for his own. That made it work for me, as a direct contrast to the way in which John Walker got his hands on it.
Karli's death was inevitable and tragic. While I never cared all that much for her character as an individual, she worked quite well as a symbol. Sam points this out in his speech as well. Hasn't anyone stopped to wonder why people believed in this cause so much they were willing to die for it? That matters. It means something. And more will follow. I appreciate that the show ends on an ambiguous note. The people in power are still the people in power. And yes, their decision has been postponed. They've decided not to relocate people and replace the borders immediately. But what is the long-term solution? How does the world begin to heal? Well, we don't know. We don't get to see that.
If anyone got short shrift in this finale it was Bucky, but I'm honestly okay with that for a couple of reasons. One, this is Sam's show and I'm happy that it stayed that way. And two, we saw Bucky's emotional arc come to a head in last week's episode. The work isn't done, but he knows what the work is that he has to do, and we see him start to do that. He gives the journal up to his therapist. A way of letting go of his guilt, but also of saying goodbye to Steve in a way that can give him some actual closure. He confesses to his friend Yuri what really happened to his son.
And more than all of that, he shows up to hang out with Sam and his family. He brings cake. He goofs off with the kids. He hugs his friend, his partner, Sam Wilson. I can see Bucky coming to peace with some things. Coming into his own. It breaks my heart that we don't get to see more of that play out on screen. The show had to make a choice about whose story to prioritize, and in my opinion it made the right choice. This was a show about Sam's journey and Sam's decision here at the end was the capstone of that.
That scene at the end, though... the kids hanging off of Bucky's metal arm was such a poignant image for me, because this man is a killing machine, was designed to be so, but has remade himself into something else, and this moment really showcased that. Also, that gay-ass ending of Sam and Bucky looking out over the water together and then strolling away, Sam's arm around Bucky? Thank you for my life, Disney, I guess. And we got Bucky calling Sam "Cap," and his obvious admiration and pride in him for his speech... I just love them, y'all. I really do.
I wouldn't say anything about this show broke the mold or made me really excited about Marvel again. I enjoyed it, because I already liked Sam and Bucky, and I got to spend more time with them. I was nervous about how they were going to navigate certain political stickiness, and honestly I think they did... an okayish job. I could have wished for them to go even further, but they didn't take the easy way out, in my opinion.
I hope they make more of this someday. Regardless, I'm not ready to say goodbye to Sam Wilson or Bucky Barnes, so I hope we get to see Captain America and the White Wolf grace our screens again in some project or other!
8.5/10
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montagnarde1793 · 4 years
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Ribbons of Scarlet: A predictably terrible novel on the French Revolution (part 2)
In case you were wondering, that’s not actually the novel’s subtitle, which is really “A Novel of the French Revolution’s Women.” But like, only the famous ones. Ok, I’m done. Moving on...
Parts 1, 3, 4 and 5.
Structural Issues
 While the choice of characters was a red flag for me (and not in a good way), choosing to structure the book the way they did was a mistake.
 This is true for a number of reasons. (I’m sorry, btw, for all the comparisons to Marge Piercy’s novel, but the shared conceit kind of made it inevitable.) Piercy’s characters also only got an average of 80 pages each (though as the typeset was denser, they arguably had a little bit more space), but since the POVs were interspersed, they played off each other much more naturally and allowed the characters the time to develop. Even there it could feel underdeveloped, but here it seems like they’re rushing the undeserved character development so they have some kind of complete arc for each character before the next part starts.
Some chapters are clumsier at this than others. The absolute worst is Pauline Léon’s, which is unsurprising for a number of reasons, but notably because she has the fewest pages of anyone except Charlotte Corday, who doesn’t really get an arc: she shows up in the plot already wanting to assassinate Marat; she succeeds; she doesn’t regret her decision; she’s tried and executed. That’s it.
 This choice also means that the main strength of this type of anthology goes largely untapped: namely, that we get different POVs on the same events. Since each protagonist is associated with a different period in time, we can only ever get their point of view on previous events through awkward flashbacks.
 It probably also accounts for one of the worst, most artificial and amateurish aspects of the book: the way in any given section the other six point of view characters are shoehorned into the narrative, whether it makes any sense or not. The protagonists of the different sections have to have some (highly improbable) relationship with one another or be reflecting on each other’s lives in the most ham-fisted, author-soapbox way possible. We’ll circle back to that last part in a bit.
 Possibly the most ludicrous example of this is Manon Roland’s inexplicable decision to take a random trip to Caen in mid to late August 1792 just so the author can have her run into Charlotte Corday. Like, do I even need to explain how little sense this makes? Apparently so. Look, first of all, going from Paris to Caen was not a trivial trip in the 18th century. Today you could make a day-trip of it and not be missed. It’s about 2 hours each way in the TGV. But in the 18th century, you’re looking at more like 2 days each way, minimum. Not the sort of trip you tend to make without an ostensible reason. Does Manon Roland have one, even as written? No, she does not. She’s going to Caen to flee the temptation of François Buzot’s advances. Which, ok, internal motivation for leaving Paris, but they don’t bother to give her a pretext. How is she going to explain to her husband her random absence of at least 4 days (not to mention the expense)? And why Caen (other than the external reason of the author’s wanting her to come across Corday)? She has no connections there. Does the author even know that the main person Manon Roland knows from the region is Buzot and that it’s therefore the last place she should flee to stop thinking about him? And she’s supposed to be a savvy politician: does she not care about the optics, as the interim Minister of the Interior’s wife, of fleeing in the opposite direction as the Austro-Prussian troops are advancing on Paris?
 And I know what you’re thinking: I’m overthinking this. This wasn’t a book designed for specialists. But I think a reader can tell when a world they’re reading about doesn’t feel fully fleshed-out. In that sense, it’s less about accuracy than it is about how flat and artificial a reading experience it makes for. One of the most valuable things I was taught in school was that when making a presentation, you should always know more than you intend to say. I think the same goes for fiction: you should know more about the setting and the characters than appears on the page. In this book I consistently have the impression that the authors know less.
 Moreover, the authors claim to have been striving for maximum consolidation of characters in order to reduce confusion, but it ends up coming across as both artificial and condescending. Trust your readers to be smart enough to work through their confusion. Otherwise you make it feel like there were a total of about 20 people in Paris during the Revolution, which, again, makes the setting feel completely artificial.
 While I’m not sure anything but better research and writing could have salvaged it, this book would have already been 1000% better if the characters met or thought about each other only when it would actually make sense for them to do so and the narratives were interwoven.
  The Authors are Desperate to Make Sure You Feel the Way They Want You to about Key Figures. They Also Think You’re Stupid
 Don’t get me wrong. I’m not accusing them of supposing their readers to be ignorant about the French Revolution. You should always assume your reader to be ignorant of what you’re going to tell them. Ignorant, but intelligent. That’s the key. The problem is that the authors don’t trust their audience.
 So we also get characters doing things like giving you a who’s who of the most famous (and only the most famous) authors, artists and activists of the time whether it makes sense for them to do so or not, like this is a textbook and we’ve got to make sure the reader is informed of the existence of all these figures (or maybe give them the chance to pat themselves on the back if they’ve already heard of some of them).
 Or my least favorite French Revolution trope: having Robespierre ominously show up in 1789 to start plotting the “Terror” (here they have him spouting the apocryphal* quote “pity is treason” to an audience of Sophie de Grouchy, Condorcet and the Sainte-Amaranthe family sometime in May or June 1789) (p. 89).
 *Presumably, it’s a corruption of declarations such as the one in his 5 November 1789 response to Louvet’s denunciation that “La sensibilité qui gémit presque exclusivement pour les ennemis de la liberté m’est suspecte.” (“I find the sensitivity that groans almost exclusively for the enemies of liberty suspect.”) or the one in his second speech on the judgment of Louis XVI of 28 December 1792: “la sensibilité qui sacrifie l’innocence au crime est une sensibilité cruelle ; la clémence qui compose avec la tyrannie est barbare” (“sensitivity that sacrifices innocence to crime is a cruel sensivity; clemency that compromises with tyranny is barbaric”).
 Again, we see the same need for oversimplification. Robespierre is, as one of the authors’ notes puts it, one of the “dangerous men” (back matter, p. 18) that should have been prevented from ever having power so he’s not allowed to ever do or say anything sympathetic. (And yeah, I know, death of the author and all that, I shouldn’t count the authors’ notes, but they really only serve as explicit confirmation of what could be pretty transparently inferred from the text and this way no one can accuse me of reading things into it that aren’t there.)
Because of this, even real quotes are cited out of context to the same end: when Robespierre says “pity is treason” in 1789, Condorcet says his bit from the Chronique de Paris article from April 1792 to his wife — you know the one, about Robespierre’s being admired by women because he’s basically a cult leader (p. 90). There’s no reason to think Condorcet had any particular enmity toward Robespierre (or even that Robespierre would have been on his radar) just after the opening of the Estates-General, though certainly, contrary to what is portrayed here, Condorcet was not a democrat in 1789 and Robespierre was. But again, historical figures we’re not supposed to like must be set up early and often as stock villains — otherwise you run the risk of your readers thinking for themselves, I guess. Also the Chronique de Paris quote (which is from an unsigned article generally attributed to Condorcet) is pretty damn misogynistic, which given the book’s stated main theme, you would think would be addressed in some way, but nope!
 Conversely, figures the authors like are liked by the characters — or they are at least forced to begrudgingly recognize their merit — whether it makes sense or not. One of the things Manon Roland is made to number among the things going “wrong” in August 1792 is “the hero Lafayette[’s being] forced into exile” (p. 261) and while it is the author of a different section who is a self-proclaimed La Fayette stan (thanks to Hamilton, of all things…) I think it’s fair to say from his portrayal in all the sections that we’re meant to admire him. But here’s the thing. I don’t really care what you think about La Fayette. That’s not the question. To Manon Roland in August 1792, La Fayette was a traitor who attempted to march his army against the Legislative Assembly and all her friends and allies in said Assembly voted to indict him. If you’re writing from her point of view, it should reflect that.
 Likewise, they have Pauline Léon describe Olympe de Gouges like this in July of 1793: “A defender of women, of slaves, I wish I could have admired her, but having aligned herself to my enemies, I could look at her no other way.” (p. 353). Olympe de Gouges is far better known now than she ever was in her lifetime, so making sure every character has an opinion on her is, once again, pretty artificial, but even assuming Pauline Léon had heard of her, Olympe de Gouges’s brand of feminism was an elitist one that excluded women like Pauline Léon and her abolitionism went out the window when the slaves actually started to rise up, so Pauline Léon actually would have had reason to dislike her beyond the logic of ‘you’re with me or you’re my enemy’ (there is a quote where she’s made to think precisely that, but I can’t seem to find it now — or maybe it was Reine Audu; they’re characterized pretty similarly in that respect). Likewise, Pauline Léon is made to disapprove of Condorcet or the Rolands because they don’t “[get] things done,” not because of any actual ideological disagreement (p. 349).
Probably the worst bit of condescension comes once again from Manon Roland’s section, where she tells a fellow spectator in the gallery of the Convention, “‘Don’t bother trying to tell the different assemblies and conventions apart,’” which is pretty transparently just the authors directly talking (down) to the reader rather than a conversation people who were living through events (and invested enough to be attending the Convention) would plausibly have had.
If it sounds like I’m being particularly harsh on the Manon Roland section, btw, I actually think it’s one of the less poorly done, at least in terms of rendering an historical figure’s mentality, most likely because unlike for some of the other figures, we have her memoirs and correspondence. It helps that the figures she’s supposed to hate line up with the figures the authors want us to hate as well. She saw herself as a reasonable republican and her Montagnard enemies as demagogues and that’s also clearly the authors’ assessment of the situation, so there’s less of the strange cognitive dissonance you get in some of the other chapters where even what is supposedly characters’ own POV frames them as wrong.
Stay tuned for style issues and reflections on what it means to “write what you want to know”!
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valensfm · 4 years
Text
❛                     WHAT  A  WICKED  GAME  TO  PLAY  .
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okay  so  like  –  listen  ,,  i  am  an  apogeehq  stan  first  &  human  being  second  .  that  being  said  ,  hello  !  i’m  cc  &  i’m  testing  out  valens  because  in  theory  ,  i  like  the  idea  of  him  .  anyway  :
( wong kunhang + twenty-one + muse 01 ) isn’t that valens lau over there? i heard he joined faction one after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip because he helped organize the event. hopefully they fit in there – they’re virtuous, but also obstinate. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine. 
───  𝙛𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙨
full  name  :  valens  lau
nickname(s) /  alias(es)  :  golden  boy  ,  
age  /  dob  :  twenty  one  /  september  14  ‘99
hometown  :  west  ham  ,  kansas
current  location :  new  ham
ethnicity :  chinese  (  macaunese  )
nationality  :  american
gender  :  cis  male
pronouns  :  he  /  him
orientation  :  bisexual  ,  biromantic
religion :  atheistic
faction : one
muse # : one
label  :  golden  boy  
tropes  :  good  is  not  soft  ,  i  was  just  passing  through  ,  
face  claim  :  wong  kun  hang  /  hendery
language(s)  spoken  :  english
speech :  very  well  spoken  ,  polite  &  overall  charming  .  he’s  got  a  way  with  words  that  makes  people  just  want  to  listen  to  him ,  whether  he’s  talking  about  the  clean  up  trip  out  of  town  or  what  he  wants  to  eat  for  dinner  .  either  way  ,  he’s  got  a  certain  charm  about  him  &  it’s  unknown  where  it  comes  from  (  since  both  of  his  parents  are  ,  how  you  say  ,  not  the  most  well  spoken  people  )  .
hair  :  dark  brown  –  almost  black  ,  but  he  keeps  it  natural  without  styling  it  too  much  .  it  falls  naturally  in  curls  ,  but  it’ll  very  quickly  will  straighten  itself  out  &  nobody  knows  how  it  happen  .  either  way  ,  he  gets  away  with  not  combing  it  or  styling  it  cause  he  sometimes  looks  like  a  prince  .
eyes :  big  ,  brown  puppy  eyes  that  honestly  –  showcase  every  single  emotion  he  has  .  it’s  because  of  them  that  he  can’t  hide  any  of  his  feelings  ,  since  they  really  are  the  windows  to  the  soul  .
height  :  five  feet  ,  eleven  inches
build  :  more  lean  than  broad  ,  but  still  athletic  from  years  of  playing  soccer  –  played  collegiately  as  well  .
tattoos  :  none  .
piercings :  none  .
scars  :  a  small  ,  barely  visible  scar  on  the  pad  of  his  right  thumb  .
clothing  style  :  very  boring  ,  comfort  over  style  ,  basically  .  he  cleans  up  well  when  he  has  to  ,  but  prefers  sweatpants  (  grey  ,  adidas  ,  track  pants  )  paired  with  whatever  shirt  he  grabs  first  in  the  morning  .  as  leader  ,  he’s  tried  to  dress  better  (  i  .  e  .  khakis  ,  button  ups  ,  whatever  )  but  will  still  often  be  found  around  town  looking  like  the  college  jock  who  will  walk  you  home  at  night  .
usual  expression  :  awestruck  puppy  who  can’t  quite  believe  the  world  he  lives  in  .  he’s  endearing  ,  with  a  face  that  tells  people  they  can  approach  because  he  just  looks  like  the  kind  of  guy  that’ll  listen  &  help  you  out  as  best  as  he  can  .
distinguishing  characteristics  :  high  cheekbones  ,  a  nose  that  scrunches  up  whenever  he  laughs  .
───  𝙧𝙪𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨
exterior   :   wants  to  make  up  for  everything  his  parents  did  in  their  lives  –  valens  is  pure  good  .  he  is  sweetness  &  morality  mixed  up  into  a  child  that  should’ve  been  wicked  ,  but  he’s  looked  evil  in  the  eye  ,  shook  hands  with  unfortunate  circumstance  &  still  chose  to  be  good  .  it’s  been  seen  in  west  ham  ,  valens  helping  the  old  women  cross  the  street  &  laughing  at  their  stories  ,  letting  them  fix  his  hair  &  collars  before  he  climbs  a  tree  to  retrieve  a  stubborn  cat  .  that  lau  boy  is  good  ,  you’ve  heard  before  .  he  walks  his  friends  home  in  the  dark  &  gets  his  fists  bloody  for  the  underdog  –  the  town  of  west  ham  thinks  of  good  &  they  think  of  valens  lau  ,  golden  boy  who  shows  up  early  to  church  to  help  open  doors  &  wipe  down  pews  .  a  people  person  ,  has  a  natural  gift  for  making  everyone  feel  loved  &  special  .
i  .  e  .  cool  jock  that’s  friends  with  everyone  ,  thor  odinson  in  thor  :  ragnorak  ,  good  guy  with  a  heart  of  gold  ,  golden  retriever  but  make  it  boy  ,  boys  will  be  boys  but  wholesome  version  .
interior   :   wrangles  with  a  lot  of  pressure  &  weight  –  because  he  knows  what’s  expected  of  him  .  one  slip  up  ,  &  he’s  just  the  lau  boy  ,  what  everyone  expected  .  but  he’s  not  ,  he’s  worked  hard  to  shed  what  people  think  of  him  &  embrace  something  else  .  he  is  good  above  all  else  ,  to  the  point  that  he  puts  everybody  else  before  himself  (  &  those  closest  to  him  )  –  he  loses  himself  in   making  sure  that  everyone  else  is  okay  &  taken  care  of  ,  nights  where  he  doesn’t  sleep  to  make  sure  everyone  has  a  locker  dec  ,  or  days  where  he  forgets  to  drink  water  because  he’s  babying  his  team  .  slow  to  anger  or  frustration  ,  he  rarely  shows  signs  of  wear  &  tear  ,  opting  to  keep  all  of  his  negative  emotions  in  anyway  to  avoid  worrying  everyone  else  .
i  .  e  .  “my  people  come  first  ,  everyone  else  before  me”  ,  self  -  sacrificial  ,  dangerously  loyal  &  moral  ,  self  sacrificial  atlas  –  holding  the  weight  of  the  world  solely  on  his  own  shoulders
───  𝙘𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙡𝙚
TRIGGER  WARNINGS  :  tbd
the  lau  family  lives  on  the  outskirts  of  west  ham  –  a  small  house  that  can  be  more  considered  shack  than  home  .  nobody’s  around  when  valens  is  born  ,  his  cry  loud  enough  to  send  a  flock  of  ravens  flying  from  the  overgrown  lawn  .  innocent  life  ,  baby  blessed  by  goodness  –  he  doesn’t  know  how  corrupt  his  parents  are  or  how  hard  they’ve  had  to  fight  to  have  the  life  they  have  .  the  things  they’ve  done  &  the  people  they’ve  wronged  is  one  long  list  that’s  unknowingly  passed  down  to  a  child  that  the  townspeople  look  down  on  .  they  turn  their  noses  up  at  a  baby  born  in  the  dirt  &  expect  the  worst  from  him  –  if  he’s  anything  like  his  parents  ,  they’d  better  lock  their  doors  &  keep  their  purses  close  ,  the  lau  family  is  rotten  –  it  only  makes  sense  that  their  only  child  will  be  as  well  .
but  he  grows  wild  &  good  ,  a  sunflower  trapped  in  a  field  of  weeds  .  valens  comes  to  church  on  his  own  ,  arrives  at  school  in  rags  &  at  first  ,  the  townspeople  tell  their  children  to  stay  away  from  the  lau  boy  .  but  he  does  things  that  a  boy  like  him  shouldn’t  do  –  he  holds  hands  with  the  new  widow  her  first  sunday  back  at  church  ,  he  wipes  her  tears  &  lets  her  hold  him  .  he  dives  into  the  street  to  pull  back  a  wandering  toddler  ,  saving  her  life  &  disappearing  before  her  parents  can  thank  him  .  they  know  he’s  hungry  ,  but  gives  the  sandwich  he  got  from  wiping  down  counters  at  the  diner  to  the  old  man  who  lost  his  son  .  valens  is  good  –  the  whispers  start  ,  but  he  is  blind  to  them  as  he  is  blind  to  parents  who  steal  for  dinner  .
eventually  ,  school  gets  easy  for  him  .  his  teacher  gets  him  into  soccer  &  pays  all  his  fees  so  he  can  play  with  the  other  boys  ,  &  he  has  his  first  kiss  in  third  grade  with  a  girl  who  sits  next  to  him  during  reading  .  valens  gains  popularity  simply  for  being  good  –  he’s  friends  with  everyone  ,  the  richest  ,  the  poorest  ,  nobody  ever  sits  alone  if  he’s  there  .  for  some  reason  ,  people  tend  to  like  that  on  him  ,  but  he  doesn’t  do  it  because  he  wants  people  to  like  him  ,  he  does  it  because  he  knows  what  it’s  like  –  going  hungry  ,  sitting  alone  ,  everyone’s  eyes  on  him  for  something  he  didn’t  do  .  what  a  shitty  feeling  ,  he  hopes  nobody  else  has  to  suffer  the  way  he  has  .
a  full  ride  to  west  ham  on  a  soccer  scholarship  ,  valens  makes  sure  to  thank  his  second  grade  teacher  for  getting  him  in  in  the  first  place  .  by  the  time  he’s  eighteen  ,  he’s  the  golden  boy  around  town  ,  known  for  working  in  the  greenhouses  &  bringing  flowers  to  the  elderly  women  who  sit  in  the  square  on  saturday  mornings  .  the  lau  boy  is  different  from  his  parents  –  he’s  kind  &  good  ;  the  kind  of  boy  people  wish  their  daughters  would  marry  &  the  good  kind  of  hero  that  is  humble  enough  to  deny  the  accusations  .
he  wins  sga  president  for  his  senior  year  ,  thanks  to  both  his  charm  &  influence  on  the  student  body  .  college  has  been  a  ride  for  him  as  he  shoulders  all  the  weight  on  his  shoulders  to  pretend  that  everything  is  peachy  ,  ignoring  any  cracks  that  might  be  starting  to  form  in  his  perfect  marble  form  .  he  organizes  the  trip  ,  invites  as  many  people  as  he  can  &  expects  it  to  go  business  as  usual  ,  only  for  things  to  of  course  go  horribly  wrong  .
people  look  to  him  for  leadership  ,  as  they  should  –  he’s  the  only  one  around  who  technically  ran  for  president  &  won  ,  but  it’s  barely  starting  &  he  can  feel  the  cracks  starting  to  get  bigger  .  there’s  a  lot  of  concern  that  he  has  in  his  heart  for  everyone  ,  not  just  the  people  who’ve  fallen  under  his  command  .  at  the  end  of  the  day  ,  valens  want  everyone  alive  ,  happy  &  thriving  &  he’ll  do  almost  anything  to  ensure  it  .
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quinnybee-writes · 4 years
Text
Title: Fire Meet Gasoline
Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia
Rating: T+
Part: 4/?
Story Summary: A chance encounter between a villain and vigilante leads to an unwise deal made between unlikely allies; an unwise deal made between unlikely allies ends in a final stand neither would have ever dared to take on alone. Together, though, they just might have a fighting chance.
Part 4 Summary: Purposefully misconstrued dating advice leads to a deal being struck between the villain and the vigilante.
Part 1 on  Tumblr / AO3
Part 2 on Tumblr / AO3
Part 3 on Tumblr / AO3
Part 4 on AO3
Three days later and Aizawa had yet to make contact. Hizashi frowned to himself, watching the dark subway walls speed past the train’s window. He kept having to remind himself to not pick at the cork stoppering the bottle of wine in his lap but his hands grew fiddly and nervous when his mind wandered too far back towards the vigilante’s radio silence. What was the reason behind it? Was he trying to force Hizashi into contacting him instead as some kind of lazy entrapment attempt? Hizashi couldn’t bring himself to believe that. Aizawa was a lot of things but half-assed wasn’t one of them. If he wanted to get to Hizashi he would make sure he did so in the middle of something he could use to nail Hizashi to the wall. If he followed that thought to the logical end, however, Aizawa protecting him made even less sense; it would have been the perfect opportunity to drag Hizashi to the cops by the collar like a self-satisfied house cat bringing its owner a dead pigeon. Why would someone so careful in everything otherwise make such a glaring error and then spend three silent days failing to do anything about it? Aizawa was a mystery of motivation; every time Hizashi thought he’d gotten a handle on the type of person he was, something new came along to prove him wrong. Hizashi grimaced and shook himself mentally as the train slowed at his stop, tugging his thumbnail out of the rut he had carved into the top of the cork. He’d been chasing himself in circles all week, and now wasn’t the time to throw himself back into the spiral.
Standing in front of the apartment door, Hizashi took a minute to center himself with a deep breath and fixed his expression into a relaxed-ish smile before knocking. The chatter of conversation on the other side quieted as footsteps approached. There was a short pause, then the door swung wide to reveal his mother’s elated face.
“Hizashi!” she exclaimed. Before he could return the greeting, her expression fell into one of shocked concern. “Oh my god, what happened to you?”
“Mm? Oh, this,” Hizashi said with a forced chuckle. He cleared his throat and tried to sound nonchalant about his half-healed double black eye and two-inch headwound as he rattled off the cover story he’d been practicing for this moment. “I, uh, tripped over a couple of trash bags behind the studio, ended up clocking myself on a dumpster,” he said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Real graceful, huh?”
“Heavens,” his mother said as she ushered him inside. “You went to the ER and got checked out, right? Head injuries like that can turn nasty out of nowhere.”
“Yeah, Ma, I took care of it,” Hizashi said, giving her an appreciative kiss on the cheek. “Didn’t really have a choice, actually, the night delivery guy found me out cold in the alley and called an ambulance. I think I might have traumatized the poor guy.”
“With a face like that how could you not?” Haru teased as Hizashi came into the kitchen to set down the wine. She took the bottle from him before giving him a quick, tight hug. “Good to see you, Zash.”
“You’re heartless but I love you anyway,” Hizashi replied, squeezing her back.
“Whatever, we both know I’m the cute one,” Haru said. She pulled back and gently prodded him in the chest with her ladle. “Now go mingle, I’ve got a curry to keep from burning.”
“Yes’m,” Hizashi said with a salute.
“If it isn’t everyone’s favorite problem child back from the dead!” Hizashi’s sibling Hoshi said in mock surprise as Hizashi dropped into one of the empty living room chairs. “It’s lucky you showed up, Zash, Hitoshi and I were about to ro-sham-bo for who gets your cat.”
Hizashi turned a grin on his nephew, who was perched on the arm of the sofa next to his mothers. “If you can get Ai-chan to leave the apartment with all your limbs intact, you’re welcome to her, Shortstack,” he said.
“Don’t you even think about it, Hitoshi Shinsou,” his mother Mara said, nudging her son in the leg to reclaim his attention from the video he was watching on his phone. “If I wanted a pet chainsaw, I’d live in a hardware store.”
Hitoshi snorted. “Don’t worry, Mama, I’d rather step on a beartrap than make that cat do anything. Baji can have her,” he replied, punctuating with a “have at it” gesture to Hoshi.
“Yes!” Hoshi said, pumping their fist in the air. “Dibs on the attack gremlin maintained!”
“Are we just ignoring the fact that I’m not actually dead, or…?” Hizashi asked, crossing his arms and trying not to smile as he arched an eyebrow at his sibling.
“I mean, at this point we kind of have to,” his sister Hinako said from the other side of her wife. “Mara and I claimed your TV and that fancy toaster oven Mom and Dad got you for Christmas last year, Haruko gets your new laptop and router, and Hiro beat everyone else out in the tournament for your apartment lease. Ai-chan was the last thing we had to divvy up.”
“You guys are the absolute worst,” Hizashi said, trying and failing to keep a straight face as he said it. “I take time out of my busy schedule of being attacked by trash bags and getting bullied by my cat and this is the thanks I get?”
“Truly, we aren’t worthy,” Haru said from behind him, ruffling his hair. “Time to set the table, busy boy, Mom said Dad’s almost home.”
Dinner with his family was like finally being allowed to exhale after months of holding his breath. Deep down he’d known having to isolate himself from them to prevent them from getting wrapped up in things had weighed on him, but the full extent of it didn’t hit him until here and now. It took less time than Hizashi had expected to get back into the flow of the family conversation, a chaotic blend of speech, signing, and the kind of sweeping gestures that came from being raised by an opera singer and a very emphatic law professor. The constant sting of edginess that kept him from ever really relaxing melted away to nothing, no match for the rapid-fire retellings of weird life moments and accompanying bouts of breathless laughter from around the table.
“Speaking of tired,” his father said, bouncing off the tail end of a story Hiro had told about a toddler at his daycare center who had somehow gifted three other children and one of his coworkers with a combination of chicken pox and flu, “you’re looking a little wilted, Shortstack. High school applications getting to you?”
“Actually, Hitoshi has some news about that he was going to share tonight,” Hinako said. She beamed over at her son, giving him an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder. Hitoshi cleared his throat, the look of someone who had hoped they weren’t going to have to talk in front of people written plain on his face. Hizashi gave a sympathetic wince; growing up as an introvert in a family full of dramatic hams and public speakers had to be a lot to handle when the spotlight was suddenly on you.
“I decided to take the UA High entrance exam,” Hitoshi said, managing a small smile in spite of himself.
Despite his sympathy a moment earlier, Hizashi couldn’t help joining in the excited uproar from around the table that followed Hitoshi’s announcement. “Hell yeah, dude!” he crowed. “Carrying on the family tradition!”
“Does it really count as a tradition if only one of us made it in?” Hiro asked. He seemed to realize how the question had sounded a moment later as Hoshi elbowed him in the side. A strained flicker of sideways glances at HIzashi followed. Hizashi just grinned despite the sudden jolt the words had sent through the pit of his stomach.
“Don’t be such a wet blanket, Hiro,” Hizashi said, shaking his head. “If people are allowed to call things ‘first annual’ then Haru has every right to be a family tradition all by herself.”
“Aww, thanks, Zash,” Haru said, reaching across the table to pinch his cheek. Hizashi swatted her hand away with a snort.
“You went to UA, Aunt Haru?” Hitoshi asked, sounding surprised. Haru preened.
“Sure did! Three years strong in the A-class Hero Course, graduated seventh in my class. Not high enough to get snapped up by one of the famous agencies, but good enough for some solid sidekick gigs,” Haru said.
“That’s right, you’ve been doing temporary assignments at a bunch of agencies, haven’t you? How’s that going?” their mother asked quickly. Everyone seemed eager to sidestep the pit of discomfort Hiro had accidentally opened up, especially Hiro. As everyone’s attention turned to Haru’s newest temp assignment at Loud Cloud’s agency Hiro caught Hizashi’s eye and mouthed “dude, sorry”, grimacing at himself. Hizashi shook his head and signed “no worries” back. The words still burned in his gut, but Hizashi did his best to ignore it and listen to Haru’s story.
Too soon for his liking, Hizashi hit his soft out time, his middle out time, and finally his hard out before the trains stopped running and he’d have to take an overpriced cab home. He said his goodbyes, promising without much hope that it wouldn’t be this long before he saw them all again. As he was putting on his shoes, Haru threw her coat over her shoulders and offered to walk him to the station to make sure he got there okay. Not about to turn down a lingering moment of normalcy before he had to go back to being himself in the morning, he accepted.
“Hey. You okay?” Haru said as they headed up the sidewalk.
“Mm? Yeah, why?” Hizashi said. Haru gave him a Look and Hizashi relented. “I mean, he wasn’t wrong,” he said grudgingly.
“Being right isn’t the same as not being a dick,” Haru pointed out. Hizashi waved a hand as if wafting away the accusation.
“Honestly, Haru, it’s not a big deal. Some of us grow up to be heroes--” Hizashi said, gesturing to Haru-- “and some of us have to make do being the family disappointment,” he finished, gesturing back at himself. “It’s the circle of life.”
“Don’t say things like that,” Haru snapped, surprising him with the sternness in her voice. “You aren’t a disappointment to anyone. Especially me. All right?”
Hizashi smiled at her, shoulders relaxing back out of the sarcastic hunch they had started to reflexively tighten into. “Yeah. Thanks, Haru.”
Haru nodded authoritatively. “So. On to other things, namely this dashing, courageous night delivery guy you mentioned,” she went on, a sly smile creeping over her face. Hizashi tried to ignore the way his face immediately heated up at the implication in her tone.
“What about him?” he asked, amused in spite of himself at the word “dashing” being used for the scruffy, monotone Aizawa.
“I mean, he was gallant enough to come swooping in to your rescue to save you from your own klutziness,” Haru said. “Seems like something you’d want to repay with some kind of favor, don’tcha think? Like one that starts with ‘thank you’ and ends with ‘drinks after work, my treat’?”
Hizashi scoffed, about to blurt out that under no circumstances whatsoever was something like that going to be on the table, but the word “favor” sparked off a half-formed idea in his head. Repaying favors with favors was practically his side business, after all. There might be something in that, though far from the path Haru’s mind seemed to be going down. “You might be on to something there,” he conceded. “I’ll let you know if it works.”
“Make me your best man at the wedding and we’ll call it even,” Haru teased, holding the station door open for him. “Text me when you get back to your place, okay? There’s some bad shit going around right now.”
“Will do. Thanks again, Haru.”
“Just doing my job.” Haru gave him another quick hug-and-hair-ruffling before bidding him goodnight.
Hizashi lay in bed with a very disgruntled Ai-chan snoozing on his chest, burning his eyes with the light from his phone screen. The more he considered what Haru had said, the more the idea appealed to him. The only roadblock now was Aizawa and his apparent determination to freeze Hizashi out. Still, there was more than one way to catch a delivery man, Hizashi thought as he double-checked the station’s equipment budget for this quarter and opened their online supplier in a new browser tab.
It seemed like in aside from “multi-platinum criminal mastermind” and “epicenter of most of the trouble in his life right now”, Shouta could add “compulsive online shopper” to the list of traits Hizashi Yamada was using to intrude on his day-to-day life.
Shouta had done his best to put the confused night he’d helped Yamada avoid arrest out of his mind, ignoring the paper bag of Yamada’s belongings where he’d stuffed it into the back of his closet and getting back to his life. At first Shouta had thought Yamada had either been doing the same, or at the very least avoiding stirring things up while the dust was still settling. Yamada hadn’t made any kind of contact and was keeping quiet about his misadventures in his public life as far as Shouta could tell from the bits and pieces of Yamada’s show he’d caught while on patrol. Instead, however, Yamada appeared to have been just saving up energy for the marathon of attention-seeking he had planned. Nearly every day Asahi Radio was one of his scheduled stops with some new item listed as needing delivered to HIzashi Yamada, signature required. Shouta managed to very calmly beg a few of his coworkers to switch routes with him for the day, making sure to ask the ones with longer routes who would be more than willing to switch him for a shorter day for the same pay. After several days of running unfamiliar routes and going through every willing coworker he had, however, he found himself railroaded back into taking his route back by a politely-worded “friendly reminder” from his supervisor about making sure to get his own work done. Shouta checked his delivery manifest, saying a short, silent prayer to not see what he knew he was going to see down at the bottom: Asahi Radio, three kilogram package for Hizashi Yamada, signature required on delivery. He gritted his teeth, throwing himself into the front seat of his truck and slamming the door behind him. Today was going to be a very long week.
As soon as Chiyaki saw Shouta shuffling through the front door with the box tucked under his arm, they were already hitting Yamada’s extension on their phone. “You got another one, boss,” they said, waving Shouta inside.
“On my way,” Yamada’s voice replied. Shouta was darkly pleased to hear that he sounded almost defeated when he said it, like the week of not getting what he wanted was starting to grate on him as much as his pestering was grating on Shouta. Yamada came slouching out from the back room of the studio. He didn’t look much better than the last time Shouta had seen him; the bruising around his eyes had faded from midnight purple to a sickly pond scum grey-yellow-green and the gash on his forehead seemed to be healing well, but he held neck and upper body stiffly like he was trying very hard not to move too quickly and risk wrenching something. Despite this, his whole posture straightened as he saw that it was Shouta making the delivery today. Shouta sighed internally as Yamada swaggered up to him with a suspiciously cheerful grin.
“Haven’t seen too much of you around here lately,” Yamada said, the barest note of challenge to his tone. Shouta gave him the flattest, most disinterested look he could manage in return.
“We’ve been moving people around,” he said, handing Yamada the clipboard. “Sign here, please.”
“Right, right,” Yamada said. He stamped the bottom of the delivery slip and made to claim is carbon copy. As he started pulling the perforation, he paused as if he’d just thought of something. “Are you allowed to pick up something since you’re already here, or do I have to call in for that?” Yamada asked.
“I can take it for processing if it’s properly addressed, but they’ll charge your account after the fact for the delivery costs. And since it’s Friday it probably won’t get delivered until Monday,” Shouta said. It was technically against policy do it things that way, but a little bit of policy finagling was worth cutting this conversation as short as he could.
“Oh, that’s fine, it’s nothing urgent. Just something I owe a colleague of mine,” Yamada said. “It should still be in the outbox, Chii,” he added, turning to Chiyaki and pointing to a pair of mail trays behind their desk. Shouta collected the envelope from Chiyaki and tucked it under his arm, reclaiming the clipboard from Yamada as well.
“Thanks for your patronage,” Shouta said, already turning and heading towards the door. He tossed the envelope into an empty bin in the back of his truck and was mostly successful in putting it out of his mind.
“Aizawa!”
Shouta halted on the threshold of the employee entrance at the sound of a voice behind him. He sighed, wondering what new impediment was about to be added to his day. When he turned around, however, he was surprised to find Takeshiro, one of the night crew in package processing, approaching him with an envelope clipped to a clipboard.
“Something I can help you with?” Aizawa asked warily. Takeshiro held the clipboard out to him.
“Found somethin’ for you in one of the bins,” Takeshiro replied. “Figured you could sign for it now. No point sendin’ someone all the way uptown for someone who works here, y’know?”
He wasn’t wrong, Shouta supposed, though it seemed strange that someone would be sending him something through the company he worked for. If they knew him well enough to send him things he would have assumed they knew to just use the postal service and save themselves the handling fees.. He set his bag down, having to dig through a few different pockets before he found his spare stamp. Takeshiro watched him with disinterest bordering on impatience. Shouta signed for the envelope and barely had time to tear off his copy of the form before Takeshiro reclaimed the clipboard and bid him a perfunctory good night. Shouta watched him go, eyebrow raised, then shrugged. He would have considered himself a man of few words, but Takeshiro was about as talkative as a tree stump.
Turning back to the envelope, Shouta was somewhat unsurprised to recognize it; the envelope Yamada had gotten him to take for processing earlier that day. Shouta grimaced at the thought that Yamada considered him in any way a “colleague”. The envelope itself was heavier than he would have expected for its size and rattled when he turned it over in his hands. The noise was not encouraging. Shouta slid the envelope into his bag, careful not to jostle it too much as he made his way back to his apartment.
Once there, Shouta dug a filtration mask, a pair of thick leather gloves, and a long-handled pair of chemistry tongs out of the jumble of spare parts and unused equipment in his linen cabinet. It would be somewhat out of character for Yamada to resort to some kind of long-distance assassination via courier package but Shouta wasn’t in the business of being careless around villains. He knelt on his entryway floor, envelope in front of him. Using the tongs he grasped the tab of the envelope and pulled it open. Nothing happened, which was equal parts a relief and suspicious. He took the bottom corner of the envelope between two fingers and pulled the edge of the opening wider with the tongs, sliding the contents of the envelope out onto the floor.
A zip-top sandwich bag full of cash clattered out, landing with a metallic splat. Holding the envelope at arms’s length Shouta peeked inside and saw something square and yellow stuck to the inside; pulling it out revealed a pair of yellow sticky notes stapled together at the top corner that appeared to have been shaken off of the sandwich bag in transit. The note on top read “they took a stupid route and overcharged you”. Dumping out the sandwich bag, Shouta found it contained five thousand, one hundred sixty-nine yen in small bills and change; rounded up, the fare from the hospital to Yamada’s apartment building. A roundabout way of deciding to repay him, Shouta thought, but it showed more discretion that he’d honestly expected out of Yamada. Flipping to the second note, he saw it was an address and a small but detailed hand-drawn map from his apartment to the destination and a meeting time of 8:30pm, signed off with Yamada’s stylized M signature. One step forward, two steps back, Shouta thought as he pulled the respirator mask off with a sigh. The invitation wasn’t a binding agreement, but Yamada had already proved he was willing to go utterly over the top to force Shouta into an interaction. Either Shouta bit the bullet and went now, or he had at least another week of near-constant deliveries to look forward to. At least this way he could return Yamada’s things and not have to look at the accusatory paper bag every time he went to get dressed in the morning. One look at the clock told him he was already destined to be late, but Shouta didn’t bother rushing as he collected the bag and kicked on his shoes to head out again. Whether Yamada waited to see if he was coming or stood him up was the other man’s prerogative.
The address was for a small bistro-style cafe with a rooftop veranda that overlooked the sidewalk. Yamada was hovering beside the door with his phone in his hand, pretending to be engrossed in whatever was on the screen but keeping a sharp eye on passersby. He looked like he had come straight from work, still dressed in the same clothes Shouta had seen him in earlier with a leather laptop bag over one shoulder. The smile he gave Shouta as he approached was as close to genuinely friendly as Shouta had ever seen from him.
“I already got us a table,” Yamada said, nodding to one of the tables on the veranda. He motioned for Shouta to follow him into the restaurant and up a claustrophobically narrow set of stairs next to the door to the kitchen. The two of them sat across from one another at the table, a tension settling between them as soon as they did. Shouta ordered a black coffee without looking at the menu and Yamada requested the server come back in a few minutes to give him time to look things over.
“I’ve never actually been here before,” Yamada admitted when the server left. “I saw it when I was walking home the other day and it struck me as a good place to get some privacy, you know?”
“Hn,” Shouta replied. The veranda was abandoned other than the two of them, with only the tiny staircase or vaulting the safety rail as viable exits. A quiet laugh from Yamada interrupted Shouta’s train of thought. He looked over to see Yamada trying to hide a smirk behind his hand.
“You do that too?” Yamada asked.
“Do what?”
“Tally up every escape route the second you get into a place,” Yamada said. “Hopping the railing wouldn’t be my first choice, but you seemed to be staring at it pretty hard. Bored with me already?”
Shouta scowled at him, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks at being called out. Instead of answering, he grabbed the paper bag and set it on the table in front of Yamada. Yamada looked at it, then up at Shouta with his head cocked to the side. “I would have returned it sooner, but things came up,” Shouta said, only lying slightly. Things had come up, they were just mostly intangible things like the unmistakable feeling that he didn’t want to see Yamada. Bemused by the roundabout explanation, Yamada unrolled the top of the bag and looked inside. He paused, seeming taken aback when he saw what the bag held.
“So you’re the one who made off with all of this,” Yamada said, not quite managing to keep the surprise out of his voice. He pawed through the bag’s contents and pulled out the tangle of wires and audio parts Shouta had yanked from around his neck.
“I...may have broken that,” Shouta admitted grudgingly. “Sorry. There wasn’t a lot of time.”
Yamada looked it over, running it through his fingers like a jeweler inspecting a string of pearls, then shook his head. “It doesn’t look like it. I worked some break points into it when I built it, like those elastic loops they put in cat collars so they don’t strangle themselves.” He shrugged. “Might be time for an upgrade anyway.” He seemed to catch himself lapsing into thought and shook out of it, holding the handful of assorted technology up like Shouta was supposed to have any idea what he was looking at. “It’s a vocal directional focus,” Yamada explained. “Depending on the combination of switches I use, it activates the speakers to give me a little boost in sending my voice where I want it to go. The only downside is smaller parts burn out twice as fast, and that’s if you’re using them for what they’re meant to do. You can only fight obsolescence for so long.” He shrugged again, setting the gear aside to continue poking through the bag.
Yamada picked up his mask, making a face at the jagged crack across the brow, then his jacket. He inspected the jacket even more closely than he’d looked at his gear, clicking his tongue in annoyance and running his thumb over some deep scuffs on the lapels and sleeves. “A little polish and she’ll be good as new,” he muttered, more to himself than Shouta. As he moved it to the side, something fell out of the pocket and clattered onto the table. Yamada picked it up. “Is this yours?” Yamada asked, holding up a small matte black USB drive between finger and thumb.
“No,” Shouta said, shaking his head. He had quite a few storage drives, but he kept them in a secure pocket elsewhere in his bag from where he’d stowed Yamada’s things.
“Huh.” Yamada looked it over, but from what Shouta could see there didn’t seem to be any kind of label on it. “Do you mind?” Yamada asked, pulling his laptop case up onto the table. Shouta shrugged. Personally he thought the mystery flash drive could wait until Yamada was done with whatever he had called him here for, but Yamada had already packed away his other belonging and was halfway into booting up his computer heedless of Shouta’s waning patience. Yamada’s eyebrows furrowed closer and closer together and he scrolled through the drive’s contents, occasionally making small “hmm”s or “huh”s.
After one especially scathing noise of curiosity, Shouta lost the last of his composure and half-snapped, “Something interesting?”
Yamada blinked, seeming to come back to himself but not looking away from the computer screen. “Possibly,” he said, sounding like he was more thinking out loud than anything. “Looks like the two you chased off were trying to do a little bit of revisionist evidence-planting. Some of these transcripts are mine, but some of them are definitely not. They are very interesting, though. If the night had gone a little differently those two would’ve had a nice feather in their cap.” Saying that seemed to jog him fully back to the present. “Anyway,” he said, pulling the drive out of his laptop and stowing both back in the case. “That actually brings me to what I actually wanted to talk to you about.”
“Which is?” Shouta asked. He couldn’t help feeling relieved that they had finally gotten to the point of this tiresome meeting.
“I wanted to thank you,” Yamada said. His expression was as close to serious as Shouta had seen from him and his voice lacked any of the attention-seeking cheeriness or slick smarm he usually used. “You stuck your neck out for me when you didn’t have to, and things would have broken pretty bad for me if you hadn’t been there.”
“Er. You’re welcome,” Shouta said. The words felt very awkward in his mouth. The corner of Yamada’s mouth flickered up into an almost-smile but it was gone again a moment later.
“That’s only half of why I asked you to meet me, if I’m honest,” Yamada continued. Shouta frowned, a sinking feeling settling into his gut. Of course there was a catch, he thought irritably. When he didn’t respond, Yamada went on without him. “Since I owe you for saving my skin, I want to offer you a deal. It’s something I think will solve this stalemate we keep finding ourselves in,” Yamada said. He was back in his element, posture too languid and his voice picking up a calculating breeziness. The return to status quo wasn’t completely unexpected but was completely unwelcome.
Shouta waited for Yamada to keep talking, but Yamada seemed to be waiting for him to make the next move. Gritting his teeth, Shouta asked, “What kind of deal?”
Yamada’s renewed grin widened at the acquiescence. “It’s nothing too complicated,” he said. He held up a hand, long fingers spread. “The deal is ‘first to five wins.’ Each of us gets to ask the other five favors, no strings attached, no questions asked. The first one to use up all five has to willingly turn themself over to the authorities and never breathe a word about what they know about the other.”
Shouta stared at him, taken aback. He’d expected something sneaky that would keep the scales tipped in Yamada’s favor, but turning the situation into some inane rivalry game was a twist he hadn’t seen coming. As far as he could tell, Yamada was completely serious about the suggestion; he seemed proud of both the idea and the reaction it had gotten out of Shouta.
“You said no questions asked. You mean, no matter what the favor is, we’re required to do it because we agreed to the deal?” Shouta asked. Yamada nodded. “So what’s stopping one of us from saying, ‘do me a favor and go turn yourself at the nearest police station and pretend you never met me’?”
Yamada frowned. “Nothing, I guess, other than a sense of fair play,” he said coolly. “Deals like this require a certain level of trust to work.”
Shouta snorted. “What makes you think I trust you?”
“There has to be some reason for a guy like you to lie to the police and withhold evidence, then let the only other person who knows the truth walk away from you,” Yamada said, shrugging one shoulder.
He had a point, much to Shouta’s annoyance. His choice to let Yamada go that night and then do everything he could to not see him until now was more one of exhaustion mixed with avoidance, but not once in the midst of it had it occurred to him that he might have to worry about Yamada turning him in to the police. He must have been silent long enough that Yamada could sense him coming around to the idea, as Yamada’s grin returned in all its toothy, rankling glory.
“So, is that a yes?” Five strikes for each of us. Well,” he corrected himself, “five and four. I’m guessing I’ve probably already burned one free pass at your good will.”
Shouta shook his head. “No,” he said. “If this is to level the playing field, it’s going to be level. Five for each of us, like you said. What happened before was a...lapse in judgement,” he finished, scowling at himself. His moment of ill-advised altruism had officially overstayed its welcome.
“To lapses in judgement,” Yamada said, extending a hand across the table. Shouta shook hands with him, hating the finality of it. With the rules as they were set out, all Shouta had to do to win this ridiculous bet was hold off on asking Yamada for anything other than some peace and quiet and wait for Yamada to burn himself out. It was too simple of a solution for Yamada to have not thought of it before he offered the deal, and Shouta had a sneaking suspicion that they would end up clashing at the finish line anyway. For right now, though, it seemed like playing along might be his best option.
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Last Day to Live
Today was the day. My last day on earth. I’ll never eat another ham sandwich or wander the streets of the city at night. Today I’ll be ‘paying for my crimes’ which, by the way, most of them I didn’t commit. Gah. I hate the feeling of Death looming over you.
   "Ayo, Death,“ I call, lying back on the bed of my cell. "Any possible way you could stop with your ominous looming for just a sec?”
   "Uh….“ Death appears, floating around the fluorescent light bulb hanging from the ceiling. "No? It’s kinda my job?”
   I chuckle. “Oh come on. We all know that you just love to hang out with me.”
   He scratches his head. “Yea, well, I only come to visit you on my off days. Besides, this time it’s actually your turn.”
   I sigh and close my eyes, tucking my hands under my head. “Yea, yea, I know. By the way, I had another weird dream last night.”
   "Those aren’t uncommon to have before you die. And stop talking to me! The guards are looking at you like you’re crazy.“
   I stick my tongue out at them. "They already think I’m crazy, along with everyone else.”
   "I see,“ he sighs. "Hm? What’s this? A guest?”
   I pretend to sleep, lifting my eyelids just enough to see his royal crappiness slap a fist onto the reinforced glass.  I pretend to be shocked into wakefulness as Death skitters out of sight into some other dimension.
   I sit up, pretending to still be sleepy. “Why hello Ezra. I didn’t see you there. How are you today?”
   He flashes his best (albeit fake) smile. “I’m doing just fine, no thanks to you.”
    I saunter up to the glass. “You know who wouldn’t be doing fine without me? Your sister.”
   "All Jen was doing was finishing cleaning up outside of her shop when you attacked her and shoved her to the ground. Then you pulled a gun on her.“
 "Your sister was lying on the ground, terrified. There’s no way she would have survived if I hadn’t been there to distract the Crow. ”
   He exhales in annoyance. “I don’t know Emily. Maybe my mother would still be alive if you stopped pretending about these monsters?”
   "Oh, so you’re blaming me for her death now?“ I stay calm, knowing that getting angry will only result in more trouble.
   "This was the last straw for you. Breaking into a jewellery store? Murdering my mother? Assaulting my sister? You seriously think that the government will just let you off the hook for this?”
   I sit down on my bed, continuing to look at him. “My crimes aren’t the dilemma in this situation.  The problem is that the entirety of humanity is oblivious to a predicament that has been allowed to fester for generations.”
   Just as Ezra is about to respond, Simon walks in, that infernal smile plastered onto his face. The guards salute as he waves them away. After all, he is the president of the entire city and holds a great deal of power politically.
   "Hello, Emily. Having a nice conversation, are we? Your murder of my wife, Lydia, has caused your family a great deal of trouble.“
   I throw that fake smile right back at him, showing all of my teeth.” If I were to kill anyone, it would be you, Simon.“ His subtle jab at the fact that I don’t have enough of a family to be involved in these legal matters doesn’t go unnoticed, but I add it to the list of things I want to send a bullet into his brain for.
   "Naturally.” He pulls out a tablet. “Now, your execution is scheduled for exactly thirteen minutes from now, so let’s discuss what exactly will be happening. But before that, some news.”
   "Oh? Do enlighten me.“
   A sense of dread fills me as he turns to his son. "Ezra, the chip.” He inserts it into the tablet, and a holographic image of Damian’s bloody body is projected into the air. “I’m afraid your fiancee was involved in an accident. He was intoxicated at the time, and nothing could have been done.”
   I sigh shakily as tears burn at the edges of my vision. Internally, I scream at the injustice of it all but I keep up my facade. “Wonderful. Now, do tell me about this speech I’m apparently giving.” My finger taps at my side, and I fight the urge to cry. Damian was one of the few people who actually believed my outside of my mother.
   "You are permitted a final speech before your execution. You have about 5 minutes.“
   "Alright then. That’s that. Now, when do we leave?”
   Simon stands up. “We’ll leave you alone for your last 7 minutes. Ezra?” Simon walks out of the prison block, shaking his head. Ezra follows.
   I walk back and collapse on the bed, my hands covering my face. “Hey, Death?”
   He materializes beside the bed, suddenly looking very ominous with his scythe and black hood. “Yea?”
   "Does it hurt to die?“
   "I wouldn’t know. It’s fast enough. You’ll know when it’s time.”
   "Okay.“
   I hate it. I hate the feeling of knowing I can’t do anything. I’m scared. I’m terrified of dying. I’m only 18. I was supposed to have my whole life ahead of me. Now I’m heading to my death before I could even say goodbye.
   Three agonizing minutes later, the guards open the door to my cell and handcuff me. They lead me out onto a stage with a single microphone. The guards release me but keep the handcuffs on. I don’t react. It’s best not to. I walk up the stairs and pick up the mic, my palms sweaty.    
   "Um. Hi.” The crowd boos. “Okay, okay, I know you all hate me. I’m that insane girl who sees monsters that don’t exist. I know.” I take a deep breath. “But I’m not lying. These monsters are real. I wish there was some way I could get you to believe me, because I think you all deserve to live, no matter what you’ve said or done. This city still has the opportunity to survive these attacks. And you can pretend to be oblivious to this all you want, but it won’t change-”
   A crash sounds from above me, and the holographic shield that was protecting the execution arena shatters, raining down on the crowd. Only one person has the technological and physical skill to take down a shield of that magnitude. My mother, Fay, jumps out of the hover-bike she apparently made, her long red hair swishing in a braid at her back. The hover-bike immediately explodes into flame, and she runs towards me.  The scar over her eye doesn’t hinder her deadly accuracy in shooting at the guards who are already firing at her back.
   "What are you doing here?!“ I shout, sticking out my hands so she can break the cuffs around them.
   She grins. "I’m obviously rescuing you.”
   I gesture to the ruined hover-bike. “Using that?”
   "There were some miscalculations. Just run!“ She tosses my custom revolvers to me.
   We dash into the prison block. "Well, how do you intend to get us out? This prison block is, well, a prison block, and prisons are generally reasonably hard to break out of.”
   "Never fear, for your mommy dear has a plan.“
   "Just tell me your plan please.” I fire a few shots behind me as more guards start marshalling. “And hurry it up. There’s no way we can hold them all off.”
   "I’ve been doing research on this place. There’s a staff entrance at the coffee shop near here.“ I stare at her. She shrugs. "What can I say? People love their coffee.”
   "Whatever. Let’s just find the exit.“
Submitted by @wickedwildunicorn
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downstvged · 5 years
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s u r v e y  :    p e y t o n    p e l l e g r i n o.
what’s this? there’s something paper clipped to the page... a stick of juicy fruit. how thoughtful.
basic information
FULL NAME: jamie claverton  peyton pellegrino PRONUNCIATION: PAY-ton pell-eh-GREEN-oh MEANING: noble, royal REASONING: his kidnapper father said he always looked like a peyton. strong, wise, dignified. NICKNAME(S): pey, pellegrino, pillsbury ( monty ), sparkles ( tess ), etc. PREFERRED NAME(S): peyton BIRTH DATE: july 24, 2000 AGE: 18 ZODIAC: leo GENDER: cismale PRONOUNS:  he/him ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  heteroromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual NATIONALITY:  american. ETHNICITY: italian-american. his father’s got pellegrino pride.
background
BIRTH PLACE: milton, delaware  HOMETOWN:  milton, delaware.  his dad said he was born in ohio. everyone thinks he’s from cali, when they meet him. SOCIAL CLASS:  upper-middle. FATHER: presley claverton. matthew pellegrino. fire chief. 52. west ham’s most eligible and charming single father. and peyton’s best friend. faceclaim. MOTHER: theresa claverton.  francesca milluzzo. peyton never knew her. his dad said she deserted them shortly before his first birthday. SIBLING(S): none. BIRTH ORDER: first of three. the clavertons needed to fill the void. first and only. PET(S): none. but he adores anything fluffy. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES:  n/a PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: n/a. he’s always been too scared of his own shadow to ask a girl out. ARRESTS?: squeaky clean. PRISON TIME?: not unless you count double-shifts delivering pizzas.
occupation & income
SOURCE OF INCOME: works part-time as a pizza delivery boy at one of west ham’s most beloved pizza joints. CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: very content, usually! people tip well and peyton enjoys the small talk. PAST JOB(S): assistant life guarding at the local pool in middle school, but that quickly ended after he had a panic attack on duty. SPENDING HABITS: peyton’s pretty frugal! his idea of a fun time is boarding around town with monty, or grabbing a scoop of ice cream at one of the local places. he’s not too big on driving, if he doesn’t have to. longboards almost everywhere. his dad’s job gets them ample cash, being fire chief, but they live modestly. pellegrino men are humble. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: his longboard. unfortunately, his anti-anxiety meds.
skills & abilities
TALENTS: deduction, longboarding, mock trial, stage lighting, studying, making people smile. he’s mario kart champion and he’ll never live that down. SHORTCOMINGS: overthinker. often, he limits himself just by thinking in circles. he... finds the good in people. assumes the best. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, and enough italian to get friendly with the kitchen staff. DRIVE?:  yes. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: yes. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes. RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes, but longboards are way better. SWIM?: yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: he has a guitar and plays it decently well. sometimes he’ll hum a little tune and strum a few chords, but it’s nothing too major. PLAY CHESS?: yeah. BRAID HAIR?: ha! him? able to braid hair? he wishes. TIE A TIE?: he can double-knot his shoes. PICK A LOCK?: no.
physical appearance & characteristics
FACE CLAIM: noah centineo. EYE COLOR: deep hazel, primarily chocolate with pools of mossy green. HAIR COLOR: dark brown. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: wavy/curly. it does what it wants, and he rarely styles it, unless it’s for a mock trial competition or a student gov event. reference. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: he has a glasses prescription but always wears his contacts. DOMINANT HAND: right. HEIGHT: 6′1. WEIGHT: 165 lbs. BUILD: lean, trim, athletic. EXERCISE HABITS: he’s co-captain of the lacrosse team with monty, so they have daily team workouts. he goes for runs a lot, and likes HIIT training. does longboarding count? it should. he’s boarded all over this town countless times ( it’s also how he chooses to deliver pizzas, when the weather’s alright. ) SKIN TONE: tanned, smooth. reference. TATTOOS: none. he can’t handle needles. PEIRCINGS: none. MARKS/SCARS: a few on his arms and legs from nasty longboarding falls. NOTABLE FEATURES: his wild hair. million-watt smile. USUAL EXPRESSION: peaceful, welcoming. CLOTHING STYLE: reference.  leather bracelets, cuffed jeans, lots of solid colored and colorblocked tees. when he dresses up for mock trial, the girls kinda swoon. boy looks dashing in a suit. has a glasses prescription but always wears contacts. his dad says he looks sharper that way ( but it’s actually because, with glasses, he looks too similar to the claverton family. )  beat up chuck taylors, kind of untied on purpose. he’s got that whole loosely kept together, sleep deprived look down pat. JEWELRY: leather bracelets. sometimes he’ll wear a thin chain. ALLERGIES: n/a. BODY TEMPERATURE: the standard. he runs a little warmer than most. DIET: lots of pizza. mountain dew. juicy fruit gum’s basically a whole other food group. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: n/a. he can be a bit jumpy, sometimes, if he’s feeling on edge. his left pinky kind of clicks funny when he makes a fist, from when he broke his hand his freshman year.
psychology
MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good. TEMPERAMENT: phlegmatic. ELEMENT: earth. MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: anxiety disorder. SOCIABILITY: very approachable. warm. kindhearted. there’s a reason he’s the one tasked with getting class dues, as class treasurer. there’s a reason why he leads the lacrosse team. EMOTIONAL STABILITY:  typically very levelheaded. his anxiety can make that fluctuate, though. PHOBIA(S): having another panic attack in public. he hasn’t had one in front of anyone besides monty in a year. ADDICTION(S): does juicy fruit qualify? DRUG USE: none. very straight-edge.  ALCOHOL USE:  occasional, as much as you’d expect. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: not at all.
mannerisms
QUIRKS: peyton shoves his hands into his pockets when he’s nervous. he always looks for monty or tess in a crowded room, to get grounded. whenever he wears a flannel or a sweatshirt, he always pushes the sleeves up midway to his elbows. HOBBIES: lacrosse, longboarding, mock trial, reading, parkour ( a phase in freshman year ). watching football games with his dad. trying out weird recipes. HABITS: biting the edge of pens. turning his head to the side when he’s listening. offering people pieces of his lunch until he realizes there’s nothing left for him. NERVOUS TICKS: not knowing what to do with his hands. trailing off. looking at the ground. laughing. counting his own fingers. biting the tip of his tongue. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: he genuinely wants to see people happy. he wants everything to run smoothly and willingly along.  FEARS: his meds will stop working. he’ll have a panic attack in front of his classmates, who are supposed to see him as calm, collected, put together. he’ll never get to know more about his mom. it bugs him. POSITIVE TRAITS: benevolent, bona fide, conscientious, suave, tenderhearted. NEGATIVE TRAITS: anxious, critical, restless, self-limiting, yielding. SENSE OF HUMOR: puns. wit. a lot of inside jokes with tess and monty. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: not really! he’s more likely to say frick or flipping than anything bad. CATCHPHRASE(S): “ oh shit ! ” & “ dude ! ” & “ what’s good ? ”
favorites
ACTIVITY: longboarding, hands down. ANIMAL: he’s got a super soft spot for rabbits. BEVERAGE: mountain dew or 7-up. BOOK: growing up, he loved the percy jackson series. CELEBRITY: stephen hawking. COLOR: green. DESIGNER: designer? he guesses, like... is gucci the right answer? he’s not really plugged in to that. FOOD: does juicy fruit count? FLOWER: he’s learning more about flowers, but he thinks sunflowers are pretty nice. kelly’s teaching him more about those. GEM: tiger’s eye. HOLIDAY: christmas. that’s when the famous pellegrino slutty brownies surface. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: longboarding !! MOVIE: original star trek. MUSICAL ARTIST: saint motel. QUOTE/SAYING: “ we’re dead !  we survived but we’re dead ! ” – dash, the incredibles. SCENERY: rolling hills. sunset. SCENT: cinnamon. SPORT: lacrosse. SPORTS TEAM: in connecticut, he’s surprised he hasn’t been vilified for being a chicago bears fan. but he and his dad spent some time there, and going to those games became a weekly tradition. they watch them now, and it’s like a little piece of their story. TELEVISION SHOW: saturday night live, honestly. WEATHER: that golden-hour sunshine, just before sunset. lukewarm. mid-60′s. VACATION DESTINATION: hawaii. he’s always wanted to longboard down those colossal volcano-side roads.
attitudes
GREATEST DREAM: go into tech/lighting design for broadway. ask cassandra pressman out, for real. GREATEST FEAR: his dad won’t be able to function without him in west ham next fall. he’ll panic in front of people when he needs to seem strong. MOST AT EASE WHEN: he’s with his squad, the belugas. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: he’s allowed the time to overthink. when his dad doesn’t come home from his fire shift on time. when things don’t feel right. BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: the west ham mock trial team won the state championship this spring. BIGGEST REGRET: he never pressured his dad more about finding his mother. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: he had a panic attack in the middle of his treasurer speech freshman year. someone pulled the fire alarm right as he couldn’t breathe. to this day, peyton has no idea who that was, but he’s so friggin’ thankful. BIGGEST SECRET: his biggest secret’s not even known to him yet. matthew pellegrino isn’t his father; he’s his kidnapper. peyton pellegrino’s fake. doesn’t exist. TOP PRIORITIES: having monty and tess’s backs. taking care of his dad, since he’s still reeling from peyton’s mom leaving almost 17 years ago. bringing the lacrosse team to the state championships. making sure every single thing he does for west ham high’s theatre department is flawless: making art on that stage. finding out how to... conquer this anxiety. finding out how to muster up enough courage to make a move before it’s too late.
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secret-rendezvous1d · 6 years
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what if Harry was at after partt or some event and he was talking with models and of course the media write about it and the missus sees the pics and she gets super insecure and a lot more than tsince she is pregnant and Harry whew comes back home ask her whatsw wrong
People like to meddle… she knows that.
She fully trusts her husband. Of course she does. But, she can’t help the twinge of jealousy that sparks inside of her when she sees fan photos and candid shots of him speaking with woman who she considers herself to be miles beneath. Who have the gorgeous blonde hair that doesn’t resemble birds nests in the mornings. Who have the white teeth that look almost too perfect. Who have the slim figure and the boobs she could only dream about having - especially when she was 8 months pregnant and sporting a bump that looked like she’d smuggled a watermelon beneath her sweater. She knows he won’t go home with any of them, she knows that they know he’s a married man who’s also an expectant father, she knows that he wouldn’t dare make a move on a woman he was talking to, and she knows she’s the lucky one that he gets to come home to every night. She knows she’s the topic of most of his conversations because he loves to show how grateful he is to have and how appreciative he is to be her husband and how in love he is with her.
She knows all of that.
But, the twinge never leaves.
She’s not like any them. She’s far from who people expect him to be with. She’s a blogger who likes to steer clear of the public eye and only ever attends appearances when she feels like she has to appear - or when she gives in to Harry’s incessant begs to be his plus one - and she’s a blogger who looks after herself and tries to keep her personal life on the downlow. She doesn’t constantly tease the fans, she doesn’t turn her back on them when they see her in public, she doesn’t throw any insults or bad manners in their direction, and she’ll always give them the time of day. Her husband wouldn’t be where he is without those fans who support him and she’s forever grateful for them - she watched him grow and that’s all on them. 
The only time she gets frustrated is when they tag her in photos that she doesn’t want to see. With captions like:
are YN and harry done?
What is he doing?!
isn’t his wife pregnant rn?
wat the fuck is he doing? he’s married!
guessing a marriage is on the rocks… yikes.
… and it breaks her to pieces. 
They’re perfectly fine. 
They kiss and they cuddle in the mornings. He makes her breakfast in bed when her feet ache too much to walk. He runs her a bath or helps her shower and lets her use his shampoo because it smells like him. He massages her back and rubs her feet and makes her dinner when she’s too tired; he’ll sometimes make runs, passed midnight, to fetch her what she was craving. 
They were fine. 
But the mere possibility of them not being okay, of them distancing away from one another until there was no love between them, broke her.
There’s been a few moments when Harry would come home and see her, tears dribbling down her cheeks and a palm rubbing her stomach, scrolling through pages that have derogatory speech on them, aimed at her and their marriage and, sometimes, he’d see that she’s gone all the way back to when they first started dating. And he hates it. He hates how she’s tearing herself down and upsetting herself over something so silly and so unnecessary. 
So, when he comes home and sees her frustratingly cleaning a kitchen counter - because she’s in the nesting phase and what’s everything to be cleaned and properly furnished and moved into better places - he knows something is bothering her. Sleeves rolled up to her elbows, cheeks bright pink from the power behind her movements, legs shaking from being on her feet for longer periods of time.
“Hey, hey. No. Sit down. You can’t be doing this,” he forgets about slipping his jacket off and immediately walks towards her, cupping her hip with one hand as his other reached over to grab the cloth from her fist, “god, what’s the matter? What are you doing awake? It’s one in the morning. You should be sle-”
“How can I fall sleep when my husband is out chatting with models?”
“I wasn’t chatting with them about anything other than my music and you. You and the baby. Our marriage. Our honeymoon They know about us. Everyone knows, for Christ sake,” he throws the cloth in the direction of the sink, missing it completely as it landed with a splat upon the tiles, and sighs deeply, “you can’t keep doing this, okay? It’s not good for your health and it certainly isn’t good for the baby.”
“It’s hard,” she whispers, her voice cracking, and for the first time since his arrival home, he catches a look at her broken face. Her cheeks sore and tear-stained, her lips cracked, her eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot at the corners, her nose dribbling and scrunching with sniffles and she looked exhausted. “It’s hard because you could have any one of them and not bother coming home to the huge excuse of a wife. You could have someone thin and skinny and someone who would willingly suck your dick because she doesn’t have crazy hormones making her despise anything remotely close to sex. Someone who doesn’t-”
He presses a finger against her lips and chuckles softly. 
“You’re not a huge excuse of a wife. You’re beautiful and gorgeous and so perfect, to me, and you’re wonderful at keeping me in check and looking after me. You think I care about my dick not getting wet? For god sake, I’ll just jump in the shower if I was that desperate,” he snorts, catching a smile lifting her lips as she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled as close as she could to his front, “you, my darling wife, are 8 months pregnant. That’s 35 weeks. With a baby. Our baby. Our little lady who we’ll meet in a short 4 weeks, won’t we? That’s exciting. I wouldn’t ever muck up what we have when we’re so close to having our perfect little family, okay? I love you. I vowed that I always would and that I’ll never stop. You make it so hard to not wake up every single day and fall more in love with you.” 
“I love you, too.”
“Now, I’ve not eaten since the afternoon so what do you say about ham and cheese toasties, with a tonne of brown sauce, and that tub of ice-cream from the freezer that we’ve saved for a special occasion?” He hums, looking down at her and catching her head as she nodded, “I think this is an ice-cream scoffing moment, for sure.” xx
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aswithasunbeam · 6 years
Text
An Elusive Peace, Chapter 7
[Read on AO3]
Rating: T
Summary: For Hamilton and Eliza, peace was supposed to mark the end to their separation and the beginning of domestic bliss. But Hamilton’s ambition and the challenges facing the new nation quickly interfere. Happily ever after may not be as easy to attain as they once hoped.
Ham gives a very important speech, and then they adopt a new baby...
February 1787
Steam wafted from the silver coffee pot as Eliza finished pouring the freshly brewed beverage. She’d never much cared for coffee, especially not the way Alexander drank it—piping hot and strong, with not a cube of sugar or drop of milk to soften the taste—but she did enjoy the smell in the mornings. When she placed the top on the pot, the scent of freshly baked bread and sizzling bacon quickly replaced the coffee.
“I can see to the rest, ma’am, if you’d like to go up now,” Judy offered with a sunny smile as she flipped a strip of bacon over.
Alexander had hired the young woman a few weeks ago after hearing her plead for assistance at his last meeting of the Manumission Society. Her former master had freed her upon his death, but his son, a Major Turner, was doing his utmost to ignore that particular provision of the will; the ensuing controversy had made it nigh impossible for the poor girl to find honest work. Although it strained their budget to add another member to their household staff, Eliza was more than happy to have her help with running the house and managing three willful children.
“Thank you, Judy,” she replied amiably. “I suppose I should set Philip to his reading, and I’m sure Mr. Hamilton will be wanting his coffee.”
She placed the coffee pot and the basket of bread on a tray and mounted the stairs. As she came to the top, she heard Pip chattering on about something along with the distinct sound of a newspaper page being flipped. Angelica’s tinkling giggle filled the space between Pip’s enthusiastic conversation.
When she entered the room, Pip’s chatter had given way to a series of grunts, and he was squatting on the floor with his arms hanging loose between his legs. “Philip, what on earth are you doing?” she asked as she set the tray on the table.
Pip answered with a series of short ‘oo’ sounds as he leaned his weight on his knuckles and scooted forward. “Monkey,” Angelica giggled, turned sideways in her chair and clapping her little hands together with delight.  Alexander had peeked over his paper to watch Pip as well, his eyes alight with amusement.
“So, will you, Papa? Please?” Pip asked, pushing himself upright again.
“Tomorrow, perhaps. If you’re good, and do just as Mama says today,” Alexander replied, with a fond sort of exasperation in his tone. Pip must have been pestering him about something while she was downstairs seeing to breakfast.
“What is it you’re getting if you’re good today?” Eliza asked.
“I get to see the monkeys,” Pip said excitedly.
Ah. She ought to have guessed. One of their neighbors, further up Wall Street, had acquired the exotic pets recently. Pip had spotted them swinging in a tree last Sunday, when the family had taken a walk  after dinner. Alexander had lifted Pip to sit on his shoulders so he could watch the creatures play, and their son had been obsessed ever since.
“Well, the first step in showing me what a good boy you are is to get to your reading,” Eliza told him, nodding towards the Bible on the sideboard.
Pip’s shoulders slumped dramatically, but he obeyed, trudging towards the sideboard, retrieving the Bible, and shuffling to her side to begin his morning reading. Eliza poured out Alexander’s coffee as Pip began his halting oration. Alexander thanked her softly when she pushed the cup forward towards him, and she began slicing and buttering the bread for Angelica and Alex. When Judy came up to serve the tea and the plates of Johnnycakes and bacon, Eliza allowed Pip to resume his seat at the table for his breakfast.
Little Alex had squeezed the pieces of bread she’d sat on his highchair into balls, and he began to throw them onto the ground. Pip and Angelica were both snickering, which made the baby grin. “Oh, Alex,” Eliza sighed, taking the bread away and replacing it with a few pieces of Johnnycake. That, at least,  the child began to gum with interest.
Alexander was looking pensively down at his plate when she looked over at him again. The Johnnycakes and bacon were untouched, and his son’s antics didn’t seem to have caught his attention. He was worrying about the speech he was to deliver in the Assembly this afternoon, she intuited.
“Was there anything of interest in the paper this morning, sweetheart?” she asked, hoping to distract him.
“Hm?” He looked up, frowning. “Oh, just more news about the farmers rebellion in Massachusetts.”
“The state militia still hasn’t put it down?” Eliza asked. The farmers, led by Daniel Shays, had been actively and violently protesting the high taxes laid upon them by Massachusetts since the autumn. The grievance had a painfully familiar ring to it.
“The General Court has declared Massachusetts officially in a state of rebellion, and General Lincoln defeated Shays’ retreating forces somewhere outside Petersham,” he reported.  
Eliza’s eyes widened at Lincoln’s name—the great General had been the one to accept the surrender of Cornwallis’s second at Yorktown. His association with quashing a rebellion jarred her. “General Lincoln is involved now?”
Hamilton shrugged.
He was far from indifferent to the situation, Eliza knew; he was just exhausted from having been warning people about the possibility of such a problem for years. Back when he’d first been sent to Congress, he’d campaigned for the central government to have a meaningful taxation power, not only so that it might make a start on its own debt, but also to help equalize the debts owed by the individual states. Instead, Congress continued without such powers, and printed worthless paper money to pay its obligations to soldiers and citizens. Massachusetts had raised the tax burden on its poorest citizens to as much as forty percent to try to retire her own debt, and also insisted on being repaid in specie, rather than the paper money. The result was a full-fledged rebellion.
Pip made his monkey sound again as Eliza came to grips with this latest news, and Angelica followed along. Alex made a grunting sound and pounded his little fists against the wooden tray of his highchair, determined to join in the fun. Her husband brought his hand to his mouth, obviously attempting to cover his amusement.
“All right, children,” she cut in to the ruckus firmly. “If we’re done eating, it’s time to wash up and begin our lessons.”
Pip shoved half a bread roll in his mouth. “I’m still eating,” he claimed, voice muffled by the food.
“Then eat,” she directed. “And we don’t speak with our mouths full, do we, Philip?”
“No, Mama,” he agreed, mouth still full of bread.
Eliza closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“I think I’ll head out now,” Alexander announced, taking a last gulp from his coffee cup. “I have a meeting with a client at my office this morning before I go over to the Assembly session.”
His plate had barely been touched, Eliza observed again.
He rose from the table and gave each of the children a tender kiss on the top of the head. He paused when he came to Alex, and rubbed his thumb over the baby’s chubby cheek tenderly to wipe away a spot of sticky jam. “I love you, my little lambs. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Bye, Papa,” Pip waved, a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth this time.
Eliza followed him out into the entryway.
“Are you all right, sweetheart? You hardly ate anything.”
An embarrassed smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I’m fine. Just…a little nervous. You know how my stomach gets.”
She pulled him into a gentle embrace. “Your speech is wonderful.”
“Thank you.” His arms closed around her in return. “And thank you for staying up with me last night to finish it. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Of course,” she said. She bit her lip, considering her next question. “Is the public permitted to sit in the gallery today?”
He tensed in her arms. “I…I think so, yes. Why?”
“I thought I’d leave Judy and Polly with the children this afternoon so I could come watch.”
A heavy sigh fell from his lips. “I’m going to lose, Betsey.”
“You don’t know that, honey. You’re very persuasive. Perhaps the Assembly will see reason.” He’d worked so hard on that speech, infusing it with logic and passion in equal measure. “Given the fresh news about Massachusetts, I don’t see how they can do otherwise.”
He chuckled. “Logic and reason mean very little to these men. The import tax would bolster the central government, and Clinton would rather die than give away an ounce of his influence. Were I not loath to disappoint my constituents, I wouldn’t bother defending the act at all.”
Eliza rubbed his back and pressed her lips to his jawline. “I’d still like to see you speak, even if you lose the vote. Then you’ll know you have at least one supporter.”
His head tilted to the side and down so he could catch her lips with his own. “Thank you, my angel. I’ll look forward to seeing you.” He then extracted himself from her arms and donned his hat and coat.
“I’m so proud of you,” she assured him as he pulled open the front door.
He smiled weakly and stepped out into the cold, bright morning.
**
The gallery was more full than she’d imagine, the crowd composed almost entirely of men who were hooting and hollering at each other in a manner that reminded her very much of her five year old son. And, much like her son, her presence and steady gaze seemed to chasten them. She swept down and across the gallery to find a seat in the front row, leaving a more orderly and composed crowd in her wake.
“Ma’am,” a man on the bench near her greeted, making to rise despite the traveling desk he had set up on his lap. She waved him down and sat beside him. “Mr. Childs, ma’am, of the New York Daily Advertiser.”
“Mrs. Hamilton,” she introduced herself, smoothing her skirt as she settled into her seat.
The reporter nodded. “Your husband is meant to give quite the speech. I’ll try my best to do him justice in my account.”
She smiled politely, though she’d yet to see any account of her husband’s speeches that did him justice. There was something about the conviction and earnestness of his delivery that simply couldn’t be captured by the written word. Her gaze fell to the floor of the Assembly, and she saw her husband sitting down, studying the notes he’d made last night.
Alexander seemed to feel her stare after a long moment, and he looked up with a small, tender smile. She waved subtly and blew him a kiss, which he pretended to catch. She laughed. Some of the tension in his shoulders seemed to ease, making her doubly grateful she’d insisted on coming today.
The chairman banged his gavel at the front of the room, calling the meeting to order. “Good morning, gentlemen. Today we consider further the act granting to Congress certain imposts and duties, and specifically the clause regarding the grant of power to Congress to levy such taxes.”
Alexander rose from his seat.
“The chair recognizes Mr. Hamilton from New York City.”
“Thank you, Mr. Chairman.” Her husband crossed the room and  stood straight-backed at the podium before the Assembly, his piercing gaze roaming across the rows of delegates, as though drawing them all in before he began to speak. A noticeable hush fell over the room, except for the sound of quills scratching steadily as the newspaper men began to copy down her husband’s words.
“Mr. Chairman, There appears to me to be some confusion in the manner of voting on the two preceding clauses of this bill,”* he began, voice clear and firm. Eliza settled in to listen, watching with fascination as he seemed to gather passion with each word.  As he spoke, he began to pace, his gaze moving from one man to the next as he walked. The mass of powdered heads below moved with him, back and forth before the podium.
He’d added a piece last night where he quoted directly from the Declaration of Independence to bolster his claim of constitutionality. He hadn’t written those words down when he decided to add them; he knew them by heart. She’d heard the words so many times, but to hear her husband speak them now, they felt fresh, and new, and impossibly moving. The men around her were all nodding, captivated.
As he came to the end of the of his argument regarding the constitutionality of the bill, his voice rose, impassioned. “If the arguments I have used under this head are not well founded, let gentlemen come forward and shew their fallacy. Let the subject have a fair and full examination, and let truth, on whatever side it may be, prevail!”*
No one stood to argue with him. No one dared.
He continued on for more than an hour, his chest working visibly and color rising in his cheeks as he built the foundations of his argument, stone by stone. Properly funding a central government posed no danger to the public liberty, he argued, and given the state of the country’s finances, the measure before the assembly was absolutely necessary to the continued existence of their country. New York had become the Atlas of the union, he claimed, and to leave the system as it was would be an act of political knight errantry.* Soft laughter emanated from the crowd at the image, just as he’d intended, and she saw Alexander smile faintly. Still he pushed on, making his points with zeal. Heads bobbed around the room as he made point after point.
Alexander’s knuckles were white against the podium as he worked towards his conclusion. “What will be the situation of our national affairs if they are left much longer to float in the chaos in which they are now involved… if there are any foreign enemies, if there are any domestic foes to this country, all their arts and artifices will be employed to effect a dissolution of the union. This cannot be better done than by sowing jealousies of the federal head and cultivating in each state an undue attachment to its own power.”*
A stunned silence reigned.
Alexander was breathing hard, absolutely spent from the effort. When he stepped down, she saw him bend at the waist and hold on to the nearest table. She worried suddenly that he would faint, given how little sleep and food he’d had over the last day. But he pushed himself up again after a moment and made his way to his seat under his own power.
“Is there to be a rebuttal?” the chairman queried, stepping up to the podium again.
Another long beat of silence passed, before one of the delegates rose from his seat. “I move for an immediate vote on the clause in question.”
Eliza felt her heartbeat quicken in her chest. Had he done it? Had he convinced them?
“I second,” another voice called.
“A motion for an immediate vote has been duly made and seconded,” the chairman called. “The vote shall now be taken.”
“Yea,” the first delegate cried.
Eliza smiled and clasped her hands together on her lap. Oh, he’d done it. She tried to catch his eye. He was sipping from a glass of water, his face tense.
“Nay,” the third man voted. And the fourth. And the fifth.
The smile leached from her face.
No. No, no. He’d worked so hard. No one had even bothered to rebut him. They knew they couldn’t compete with his words, with his ideas.
“The clause is defeated by a vote of 36 to 21. The assembly will now consider—”
She fixed her attention on her husband. His face had regained some color, at least, she noted. He’d known he’d be defeated, but the fact that no one had even bothered to try to argue against him galled her. Why should he entangle himself in petty politics at all, when this was the result?
His gaze traveled up to the gallery and landed on her.
She made herself smile at him. “I love you,” she mouthed silently.
His expression went soft, and he gave her a little nod.
**
“They couldn’t even muster a counter argument,” Eliza complained that evening as Alexander removed his coat and hat.
“They didn’t need to,” he sighed, resigned. “I told you I would lose, Betsey.”
“It’s just not fair.”
“It’s politics. It’s not meant to be fair. And it doesn’t matter anyway. We’ll be meeting in Philadelphia in May to overhaul the whole system. Let Clinton have his way for now. It will be out of his hands very, very soon.”
She held her arms out to him, and he sank into her embrace.
“I worried you were about to faint when you finished.”
“I just needed a moment to catch my breath.”
She frowned, unconvinced. His health, always delicate, felt especially tenuous when he began to overextend himself. It had been her initial concern when he went to the convention last fall, and so it remained. “You should go change into something comfortable. We’ll get some good, hearty food into you, and then you can have a proper rest.”
He pulled back from her and grinned. “No.”
“No?”
“I refuse to stay home and wallow in my defeat. Troup told me he has extra tickets for the theater tonight. Let’s get dressed up and go out.”
“Are you sure? You seem tired, sweetheart.”
“Tired? Me?” He took her by the hands and spun her around. “Perish the thought, my dear. Besides, between my practice and the New York Assembly, and you looking after the children, we haven’t had a proper night out in far too long. It will be fun.”
She couldn’t help but laugh; his good humor was contagious. “If you insist.”
“I most certainly do.”
“Papa!” Pip appeared in the entry to the parlor, bouncing eagerly on his toes. “Papa, I was really, really good today. Really! I listened to mama, and did all my letters and my sums. So can we go see the monkeys tomorrow?”
Alexander laughed and bounded forward to scoop him up. “I may give you to the monkeys. You and your sister. You should be raised amongst your own kind.”
“We’re not monkeys, Papa,” Pip protested.
“Are you sure? You sound like a monkey.”
“No I don’t.”
Alexander tickled him under the armpit, and he squealed with laughter. “Hmm, you’re right. Maybe not a monkey. Maybe you’re piglets?”
“No,” Pip giggled.
Eliza shook her head fondly as she headed upstairs to change for a night out. After selecting a dress and quickly fixing up her hair, she returned to find the animal game apparently still going. Her husband was on all fours with both Pip and Angelica on his back, and Pip was urging, “Giddy up, Papa!”
She leaned against the doorjamb, smiling at the scene.
**
Eliza tucked her hand into Alexander’s elbow and used her free hand to hold her skirts up from the snowy sidewalks as they hurried into the theater. The doorman pushed the door closed behind them as soon as they entered the lobby. Two fires glowed at the far end of the room, and she sighed at the warmth.
As she handed her cloak over to be stored, she heard a murmur of excitement ripple through the crowded lobby. She glanced back, assuming someone of importance had arrived. To her surprise, most eyes were trained on her and her husband.
Robert Troup was standing nearby, and he seemed to be encouraging in the interest in Alexander. When Alexander finished checking his coat, Troup called out, “Let’s hear it for Ham, the great man himself!”
A round of huzzahs followed, with almost the entire lobby partaking. Eliza laughed, shocked, and looked around to see Alexander blushing furiously. Troup stepped up and slapped Alexander on the back.
“Glad you came, Ham,” Troup said. “There’s talk of making you governor, after that speech of yours. You’d be a good improvement over Clinton, that much is certain.”
“It was hardly worth all this fuss,” he demurred.
“You were wonderful, darling,” Eliza interjected.
He laughed, clearly still uncomfortable, but he thanked her softly.
“There’s a few people eager to speak with you, if you wouldn’t mind,” Troup added.
Alexander glanced at her.
“Go ahead, sweetheart. I’ll go keep Mrs. Troup company,” she urged, kissing his cheek. He was quickly swept away into the crowd. Watching him for another brief moment, she looked around the lobby and spotted Jennet standing near the stairs to the box seats.
“Your dear husband is the man of the hour,” Jennet observed, taking her by the arm as she came closer.
“So I see. He certainly wasn’t expecting all this,” Eliza replied.
“He should have been. The whole city’s talking about him. He may have been unsuccessful today, but he’ll have plenty of support for whatever he can accomplish in Philadelphia this summer. Or so Troup keeps saying.”
Eliza smiled weakly. She was proud of him, truly, and glad he had so many supporters, but she wished people’s hopes for the nation weren’t resting quite so heavily on her husband’s shoulders. Jennet seemed to sense the hesitation, and she wrapped an arm around her shoulders companionably.
“Let’s go up to the box. The boys will join us eventually.” They walked up the staircase together, and Eliza took a program from an attendant outside their curtain.
She waited, and waited. Troup slipped in as the show began, but Alexander wasn’t with him. “He’ll be along,” Troup assured her in a whisper as the actors took the stage.
The first act had nearly ended before Alexander slipped into his seat at her side. He leaned close, his lips ghosting over her cheek, before he whispered, “I need to talk to you.”
“Now?”
He nodded.
Her stomach clenched. Had he accepted another government position? “All right,” she agreed, standing up and following him out into the hall.
His hand curled around hers, and he led her down the hall to a little deserted alcove.
“What is it, sweetheart?” Please, not another appointment, she pleaded silently.
“I just ran in to someone downstairs. Do remember Colonel Antil?”
She frowned, then nodded. They hadn’t seen him in some time, not since his poor wife had passed away, about two years ago. “How was he?”
Alexander shook his head. “Not very well. He’s not been coping well.” His hand squeezed hers tightly, as though he could ward off the same fate for her by holding on to her tight enough. “I suggested he come to the meeting of the Cincinnati tomorrow to request aid. He’d like to move up north to try to make a go at a farmer’s life.”
She waited, curious as to why he felt the need to immediately report this conversation to her.
“I invited him for dinner tomorrow at our house, as well.”
“That’s fine, honey,” she assured him. They had a leg of lamb she’d been planning to prepare anyway. There’d be plenty of food for a guest.
“They had a little girl, do you remember? Frances. Fanny. She’s just two.”
“I do,” she agreed, though she hadn’t remembered the little girl’s name until now.
“He can’t take such a little babe into the wilderness with him. I was hoping…” he trailed off, his gaze on the floor.
Eliza squeezed his hand. “You were hoping?”
He looked up at her. “I know it’s a lot to ask. We have three little ones already, and you do more than the lion’s share of the work. But…I was hoping we might offer to take her in. Just temporarily, while he gets settled.”  
It was a lot to ask. As darling as their three children were, they were also a handful. But her heart went out to that poor little girl. If Antil couldn’t care for her properly, if she’d be in danger going with her father up north, how could Eliza refuse?
Alexander looked so earnest as he waited for her answer. He’d always had a soft spot for children in difficult circumstances. Much of it stemmed from his own difficult childhood, she knew, and his immense gratitude to Thomas Stevens for taking him in when he had no obligation to do so.
“Of course we can,” she agreed.
“You’re sure. We needn’t say anything if you’re not comfortable. Completely comfortable. It’s your choice.”
“I know,” she assured him. “We’ll offer to take her while he gets settled. What’s one more monkey in our little menagerie?”
He laughed. “You’re an angel.”
She rolled her eyes. “So you’ve said.”
“I mean it. A genuine angel.”
He leaned close, his lips hovering near hers. She wrapped her arms around him and let her lower lip drop open so the tip of her tongue could touch his. A soft moan fell from his lips. His hand started to wander from her lower back towards her bustle.
“Not here,” she whispered, pulling away reluctantly. The effect he had on her, she thought, blushing retroactively. Her mother would have fainted outright had she heard her daughter was standing in the middle of a public building kissing a man, husband or not. He made a discontented noise as she removed his hand from her back. “Keep that up, Mr. Hamilton, and we’ll have more than one little monkey joining us.”
He grinned. “From your lips to God’s ears, my darling.”
*From New York Assembly, Remarks on an Act Granting to Congress Certain Imposts and Duties, 15 February 1787.
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googlenewson · 5 years
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What causes a person to become radicalized?
This was the subject of a fascinating talk delivered by Tamar Mitts, an assistant professor of international and public affairs at Columbia University, at a “data science day” hosted by the school on Wednesday. Mitts studied the efficacy of Twitter-disseminated propaganda supporting the self-identified Islamic State, or ISIS, in 2015 and 2016. To avoid the “obvious ethical issues” which attend to subjecting humans analysts to ISIS propaganda, Mitts said she used machine learning algorithms to identify and sort messages and videos into various categories, such as whether they contained violence. Then she parsed her dataset to uncover trends.
Mitts’ results were a revelation. Even though people tend to associate ISIS propaganda with heinous acts of brutality--beheadings, murder, and the like--Mitts found that such violence was, more often than not, counterproductive to the group’s aims. “The most interesting and unexpected result was that when these messages were being coupled with extreme, violent imagery, these videos became ineffective,” Mitts said. In other words, the savagery for which ISIS became famous did not appeal to the majority of its followers; positive messaging found greater success.
There’s a caveat though: Anyone who was already extremely supportive of ISIS became even more fanatical after encountering a piece of propaganda featuring violence. So, while violent acts turned off newcomers and casual sympathizers, they nudged ideologues further down the path of radicalization. Extremism begets polarity.
In the wake of the Christchurch massacre, Mitts’ research gains even more relevance. Tech giants are continuing to fail to curb a scourge of violence and hate speech proliferating on their sites. World governments are, meanwhile, passing ham-fisted policies to stem the spread of such bile.
Perhaps Mitts’ discoveries could help society to avoid repeating history’s darkest moments. My appreciation for her work grew after I finished reading In the Garden of Beasts, a gripping journalistic endeavor by Erik Larson, which details the rise of Nazi Germany through the eyes of an American ambassador and his family living in Berlin. Afterward, I watched a YouTube video--an innocuous one--recommended by the author: Symphony of a Great City, a 1927 film that documented the daily life of ordinary Berliners at that time. It amazes me to think how, within a few years, these souls would come under the sway of Hitler’s bloodthirsty regime.
While the Internet makes zealotry easier than ever to incite, today’s tools also make it easier to study.
Robert Hackett
@rhhackett
Welcome to the Cyber Saturday edition of Data Sheet, Fortune’s daily tech newsletter. Fortune reporter Robert Hackett here. You may reach Robert Hackett via Twitter, Cryptocat, Jabber (see OTR fingerprint on my about.me), PGP encrypted email (see public key on my Keybase.io), Wickr, Signal, or however you (securely) prefer. Feedback welcome.
THREATS
Marred-a-Lago. The U.S. Secret Service apprehended a suspicious Chinese woman who attempted to enter President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida. The woman, Yujing Zhang, was carrying four cellphones and a thumb drive infected with malware. One of the stories she spun: She said she was there to use the pool, though she had no swimsuit.
Verboten. German chemical giant Bayer said it contained a cyberespionage intrusion by suspected Chinese hackers. The company discovered the computer infection early last year and then quietly analyzed and monitored the intruders before booting them from the network last month. "There is no evidence of data theft," the company said.
Thrill of the chase. Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase, highlighted the importance of digital security in his annual letter to shareholders this week. "The threat of cyber security may very well be the biggest threat to the U.S. financial system," he wrote. "[T]he financial system is interconnected, and adversaries are smart and relentless - so we must continue to be vigilant."
Show me the money. The city of Albany, New York, and iced tea-maker Arizona Beverages were recently hit with ransomware attacks. Norsk Hydro published a video featuring interviews with employees who grappled with a recent plant-crippling ransomware attack. And the Federal Bureau of Investigation said it had to change the way it conducted cyberattack investigations after wrestling with the SamSam ransomware campaign, which affected cities such as Atlanta and Newark.
Bezos vs. Saudis. Gavin De Becker, the investigator hired by Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos to find out who obtained private text messages and photos relating to his extramarital affair, said he has concluded that "the Saudis had access to Bezos' phone, and gained private information." A spokesperson for Saudi Arabia told CNN that the kingdom "categorically rejects all allegations that it is involved in any fashion in the apparent dispute."
The Russian equivalent of Jedi mind tricks: "combat parapsychology techniques."
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http://fortune.com/newsletter/cybersaturday/
Looking for previous Data Sheets? Click here
ACCESS GRANTED
Creepy crawlers. Meet Eva Galperin, a hacker-activist who studies commercial surveillance software, so-called stalkerware, as head of the Electronic Frontier Foundation's threat lab. Now Galperin is calling on Apple and antivirus companies to protect people from these privacy-infringing tools, as Wired's Andy Greenberg writes. More extremely, Galperin is asking government officials to prosecute executives at companies that sell this kind of software.
Over the last year, Eva Galperin says she's learned the signs: the survivors of domestic abuse who come to her describing how their tormentors seem to know everyone they've called, texted, and even what they discussed in their most private conversations. How their abusers seem to know where they've been and sometimes even turn up at those locations to menace them. How they flaunt photos mysteriously obtained from the victim's phone, sometimes using them for harassment or blackmail. And how none of the usual remedies to suspected hacking--changing passwords, setting up two-factor authentication--seem to help.
The reason those fixes don't work, in these cases, is because the abuser has deeply compromised the victim's phone itself. The stalker doesn't have to be a skilled hacker; they just need easily accessible consumer spyware and an opportunity to install it on their target's device. An entire industry of that so-called spouseware, or stalkerware, has grown in recent years, one that Galperin argues represents a deeply underestimated scourge of digital privacy.
FORTUNE RECON
A British Spy Agency's London HQ Operated in Secret for 66 Years. Turns Out, It Was Right Next Door. by Phil Boucher
Domestic Terrorism Is on the Rise. But How Prepared Is the U.S. to Counter It? by Natasha Bach
Proposed Law Would Require YouTube and Netflix to Do More to Protect Kids Online by Danielle Abril
If the Full Mueller Report Is Released, Here's What You'll Actually See by Renae Reints
Who Should Own Your Health Data? by Erika Fry
Mark Zuckerberg Has Made the Case Against a Fragmented Internet. Here's the Case for It. by David Mayer
How True Crime Podcast 'The Murder Squad' Will Crowdsource Investigations by Dan Reilly
ONE MORE THING
Xinjiang jail. In this chilling multimedia piece, The New York Times takes viewers inside Kashgar, a Chinese city that the Communist Party has effectively transformed into a gigantic prison. Residents are required to keep software on their phones that monitors calls and messages. They are forced to stop at checkpoints to have their faces and ID cards scanned. Surveillance cameras are ubiquitous and neighborhood watches grade people based on their "reliability." As the Times writes, this dystopia is "as much about intimidation as monitoring."
from Fortune http://bit.ly/2Ulj9l1
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trendingnewsb · 7 years
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Bafta TV awards: What to look out for at this year’s ceremony – BBC News
Image copyright Getty Images
Image caption Benedict Cumberbatch (The Hollow Crown) and Claire Foy (The Crown) are in the leading actor and actress categories
The Bafta Television awards take place on Sunday, with the lavish royal Netflix drama The Crown dominating the nominations.
The event at the Royal Festival Hall will be hosted for the first time by former Great British Bake Off presenter Sue Perkins.
Here are a few things to look out for on the big night.
Who can we expect to see on the red carpet?
Image copyright Getty Images
The glittering guestlist includes Alan Carr, Amanda Holden, Ant and Dec, Benedict Cumberbatch, Claudia Winkleman, Daniel Mays, David Walliams, Ed Balls, Jessica Raine, Kim Cattrall, Louis Theroux, Nicola Walker, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Olivia Colman, Pearl Mackie, Sarah Lancashire, Scarlett Moffatt, Suranne Jones, Thandie Newton, Tom Hollander and Zawe Ashton.
And by the look of the seating plan (above), The Crown’s Claire Foy will spend the ceremony sitting next to EastEnders’ Danny Dyer.
She can tell him about Queen Elizabeth. He can tell her about the Queen Vic.
But why’s Graham Norton not presenting as usual?
Sue Perkins is taking the reins this year because Norton will have been busy presenting the Eurovision Song Contest in Ukraine one day earlier.
When she was announced as host in March, Perkins tweeted: “Beyond chuffed to be the one keeping the inestimable @grahnort ‘s seat warm this year.”
Cheeky.
Which shows have the most nominations?
Image copyright BBC/Minnow Films/Joe Albas
Image caption Damilola, Our Loved Boy (BBC One) has three nominations
The Crown – 5
Damilola, Our Loved Boy – 3
Fleabag – 3
Happy Valley – 3
See the full nominations list
What can we expect from the winning speeches?
Not just a long list of “thank yous” if 2016 is anything to go by.
At last year’s Baftas several winners used their speeches to defend the independence of the BBC. The ceremony took place just days before the government published a white paper on the corporation’s future.
This year a general election is looming.
Bafta is reported to have emailed nominees asking them to offer “a short anecdote or an interesting detail about the production” in their victory speeches.
According to The Guardian, some of its recipients have dubbed it “a ham-fisted attempt to avoid controversy”.
Will The Crown reign supreme?
Expect plenty of right royal headlines if the big budget show scoops the drama category.
The Crown’s first 10 episodes launched on Netflix in November. Writer Peter Morgan intends to tell the entire story of Britain’s monarchy from the reign of George VI, the Queen’s father, over 60 episodes.
Claire Foy is up for leading actress for her portrayal of the young Queen Elizabeth.
Jared Harris, who plays George VI, John Lithgow (Winston Churchill) and Vanessa Kirby (Princess Margaret) are all nominated for their supporting roles.
Last year Bafta changed its rules on eligibility which has allowed shows with international funding, such as The Crown, to be entered outside the international category.
The best actress race is one to watch
Image copyright AP/Getty Images
Image caption Leading actress nominees (clockwise from top left) Claire Foy, Sarah Lancashire, Nikki Amuka-Bird and Jodie Comer
This is Claire Foy’s second consecutive nomination for lead actress. Last year she was nominated for her role as Anne Boleyn in Wolf Hall, but lost out to Doctor Foster actress Suranne Jones.
This year’s competition is just as tough.
She’s up against NW’s Nikki Amuka-Bird, Happy Valley’s Sarah Lancashire and Jodie Comer for BBC Three abduction drama Thirteen.
Could streaming services win big?
Image copyright Getty Images
Image caption The cast of Netflix’s Stranger Things
Yes, we’re talking about those shows that weren’t made for the traditional broadcast channels.
Netflix has never won a TV Bafta, so victory for The Crown would be a big deal.
It has another shot at glory with sci-fi hit Stranger Things, a strong contender in the international category.
Last year that category went to Netflix rival Transparent, on Amazon Prime, about a Los Angeles family who discover that their retired father is a transgender woman.
And who did it beat? Netflix’s Narcos, among others. Ouch.
Transparent is nominated again this year – but there’s also stiff competition from HBO’s crime drama The Night Of and the Golden Globe-winning The People v O J Simpson: American Crime Story.
And let’s not forget all the nominees from online-only channel BBC Three.
Will the stars of Fleabag be jumping for joy?
Image copyright PA
Image caption Phoebe Waller-Bridge is up for best female comedy performance
Talking of BBC Three, its breakout comedy hit Fleabag has three nominations.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who adapted her own one-woman theatre show, plays a sarcastic, sex-obsessed young woman attempting to navigate modern life in London.
Fleabag is nominated for best scripted comedy, while Waller-Bridge and Fleabag co-star Olivia Colman are up against each other for female comedy performance.
They are up against Lesley Manville for Mum and Diane Morgan for Cunk on Shakespeare.
Joanna Lumley won’t be going home empty-handed
Image copyright PA
It’s already been announced that the Ab Fab star is being honoured with the prestigious Bafta Fellowship.
Perhaps best known for playing champagne-sipping Patsy Stone, Lumley has had one of the most varied careers in British entertainment.
After starting out as a model she was propelled to fame in the 1970s as Purdey in The New Avengers.
She once took 27 takes to kiss Leonardo DiCaprio when they were filming a scene for The Wolf of Wall Street.
Surely that deserves a Bafta all of its own.
When can I watch the ceremony?
The Virgin TV British Academy Television Awards will be broadcast on BBC One on Sunday at 20:00 BST.
Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion email [email protected].
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itsroxananovek-blog · 7 years
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I think it is evident that such a scenario has been created by the hard real man's hand of none other than Dougie Brimson. It seems to me, a priori, that everything connected with football hooliganism, belongs to one, perhaps not the only, but the genius of football, first of all as a lifestyle, rather than as a normal sports game. The first Dougie's book, was unfortunately not the "canonical" story "Wherever we went", the first of his works written in collaboration with his brother Eddie, but a more worldly story "All about Billy." This determined my notorious idea of all the subsequent reading from his repertory. I started with the male version of "Bridget Jones" and continued on the rise, going deeper into the world of real football violence, brutal violence, trying to find the reasons for this and come to the sources, in order to find the ways to understand and prevent it. If you read "Football Fever" by Nick Hornby earlier, I advise you not to carry out any parallels: Brimson writes about more immediate and painful, about what is much deeper than a professional documentary look at what is happening. And this "more urgent and painful" took its peak, in my opinion, not in Dougie Brimson's journalism, despite the fact that he opened the same storyline deeper and with new perspectives later in such football guidebooks as the "Days of the derby", "Fans", "Raging army". The appearance of football violence, and in his first scenario. Is Green Street Hooligans another football story among so-called “missed” or real drama? You know, I'm not inclined to agree with the idea that these "specific" in-kind movies close exclusively in any one theme circle. No, this is absolutely not the case. This is not the first and not the only film that touches the realm of football. But even for those who are "in the know", this British picture has become furious fireworks that definitely should not be compared with Nick Love's "The Football Factory", which shows life from Saturday to Saturday, and all the more, it does not fall under the category which shows the price of cocaine tracks, fights, sensuality, obscenity, and freedom of speech. This film is expanded to the maximum of its story line, not in order to show the topical drama of some bullies but to explain that hatred can exist parallel to love and friendship is only until death. The British Empire always sends us two gift parcels. Great Britain is the birthplace of gentlemen and criminals, fine ladies and sex scandals, football culture and fierce football hooliganism where two hearts coexist and two souls become related. Great Britain is both the dominance of the monarchy and anarchy at the same time. "Green Street Hooligans" is a rigid set of laws, which is not subject to any authority than the heart. This is a movie-paradox, which has got a cover like a high-end sports publication, but with a real taste of gall football inside. Thus, the film begins with a particularly unattractive scene about the encounter of two groups of London football fans - West London Hammers fans and the fans of the north London "Tottenham", who have been sworn enemies for ages. All subsequent events in the film will narrate exactly about the supporters of London's "United", about a long lasting reprise of their prayers protracted where there are no gods. Let's continue. Are you at Harvard? Does your future profession require you to gain such professional qualities as the subordination, the ability to adapt quickly, communication skills, the ability to find a common language even with those who, in principle, have no language? Do you go past the legendary boutique's brands «Burberry» and «Fred Perry» on a daily basis? Do you think that you had better not wave your fists after a fight, and still have never been to England - the promised land of the world of football hooligans? Then it is a disease that you will be helped to cure. Matt Buckner, a journalism student, was expelled from Harvard for a crime he did not commit. His promising career went down the drain. In search of refuge he goes to Albion to his sister Shannon, where by coincidence, he makes the acquaintances with the younger brother of her husband, Pete. And then the man who had lost his armor, learns what the Green Street Elite is. Green Street (the original name of the film) is the name of the street where "West Ham United" stadium - «Upton Park» is situated. The bile of this film is not topical stories, such as those described both in the local London tabloids and in major British tabloids, it is hidden deep under the cover of all urgent clearly expressed problems: it lies neither in the conflicts between fathers and children, nor in family disorders, nor in matters of honor and valor, nor in boring lies, it lies in three unpretentious words "West Ham United". In this case, it is not just a football club or an idol to worship, it is not even a matter of life and death, it's much, much more important, as Bill Shankly once put it. But, nevertheless, the fights for the sake of fighting mean not only the idea that to insure someone who clings to you and to destroy the one who crossed your path is the most important thing. It is fanaticism. And what is actually fanaticism? Is it the strength, or the lack of it? And what is the very strength? Is it the ability to wave one's fists? No, there is something beyond. John King, the author of the novel "The Football Factory", has simplified the task of all, giving a simple definition of hooligans - "adrenaline junkies." Now the main thing is just to realize that power is nothing more than the edge of madness, which makes you an intravenous injection of the virus of violence by a thin blade. And it is even more important to realize that the protagonist himself chose this path and can not go back. It's like in aviation: there is such a thing as a "point of no return" - the limit when it is even possible to deploy aircraft, and there will be enough fuel in the tanks to return to the departure aerodrome. So "the point of no return" for Matt is his choice between an empty house, where no one is waiting, and friendship to the grave in the truest sense of the word. The strength lies in the ability to make a choice. Matt did not give back, but on the contrary, having realized the depth of his football hooligan soul he fell on the battlefield, alongside with those who tied him to themselves, namely, an avid soccer hooligan Pete and his company. Although it would sound sickly and dirty, extravagant and straightforward, but after Matt had joined the group, he became a "pugnacious whore", finished everywhere and with everyone. “Hooligans” is a visual aid of a real "shit" - based, absorbed into every cell of all existing characters which carries a medal with two back sides. Once a Hollywood drama, without a shadow of a doubt, it would have been under the standard scheme a la "the power of forgiveness", but not in a harsh reality which Lexi Alexander shows to us.Everything is real here, manlike, as they say, there is no place for prejudice and principles, just good old-fashioned revenge, which gave birth to a wild feud between the two football clubs. Matt who had suffered many times from beating, would bear in his eyes not only the grievances, fears, and pain because of the loss of other people, but also he would bury in himself the death of an innocent boy. To hate enemies stronger than Israel hates Palestine, to love family more than Sid Vicious loves Nancy Spungen. Yes, it is possible that after such films somebody will have a desire to fill a pair of tattoos on an aggressive theme with protest quotations, as it is now fashionable, to get self-confidence, and inspiration to start attending a gym, creating a malice in himself to people never affecting your weaknesses. And someone may forever prioritize between cheesy tastes and family. But both in the first and in the second case it will be one's personal choice. And, without a doubt, this film is an excellent ground for reflection in your leisure time and another "scribbling" to the press. Gentlemen, we are not at school. This film is above estimates.
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mayoperry-blog · 7 years
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The Diner
A short story I wrote for creative writing 1 in freshman year, I believe. The story was based off of flash fiction, but there were no restrictions on the piece other than a word limit. Again, because of tumblr’s format, all spacing and correct format for dialogue and paragraphs has gone askew. 
The Diner I pulled up to the parking spot and killed the engine but didn’t exit the car. The stench from the car was soaked into my clothes and hung around me like a cloud. I turned off the radio and leaned my forehead on the steering wheel. Country music wafted out of my car and into the lot and my eyes closed for a minute.   “I’m here. R U?” My phone screen read. I pulled my sunglasses from atop my curls and placed them on nose and picked up my jacket. I stepped out onto the pavement and started the trek from the end of the parking lot to the restaurant entrance. As I walked, I scoffed at the sign in front of the door trying to attract customers that had faded years ago and was not readable. I removed my sunglasses and hooked them in my white t-shirt pocket that was all too bright for the grimy parking lot. I kicked a soda can with the toe of my boot and entered the diner. Dirtied windows looked out into an even dirtier parking lot and the glass panel that separated the diner from the rest of the world hadn’t been thoroughly cleaned in years. Booths were crammed along the walls with the material of every seat worn and cracked. Seat stuffing and bent springs were poking through the surface and the blue grey linoleum floor oddly complimented the wallpaper peeling off of the panel. Sunlight reflected off of the divots in the tables and the light fixtures. Rusty hinges rendered dying doors almost unusable and the kitchen sink was piled high with dishes. I locked eyes with Christopher as he motioned for me to join him. I settled into the booth and laid my jacket across my lap, finally looking at him. “How are you?” I asked. “I’m fine. Menu?” Christopher held out the pamphlet. I took the leaflet and scanned my options and settled on a sandwich.   Christopher’s shirt cuffs were buttoned and he toyed with them in his hand as he looked at me over the table shining in the electric light. The people of the diner must have known a nice tip was coming in his arrival in his nice shoes and neatly pressed shirt—all nicer and neater than this diner put together. His shoes were new which I noticed and they tapped against the root of the table, but he made sure they didn’t get scuffed. His hair was cut and shone under the bright light. It seemed less perfect than it did under the natural light outside, and his teeth didn’t shine as he smiled like they might outside. This diner took away the color from the people and everything seemed duller and more desperate. His crisp blazer draped across the back of the booth was out of place and was easily more expensive than the table before him. Christopher poked at his French Onion soup, stirring the dish and avoiding eye contact. “What’s wrong?” I said. “You’re quiet. And your fists are clenched.” I pointed out. “What? Oh.” Christopher massaged his hands while looking up at me. “Why is it like this? The same thing every time we need to meet.” He put his spoon down on the saucer beside him, giving off a clang from the metal hitting porcelain. “You’ve never complained, so what’s changed? I think this place is fine, and it’s not to far from my work.” I spoke slowly like I was talking to a child. “Then why are we here, and not closer to the city? I-“ “You know why we’re here. This is what I can afford.” “I told you, I’ll pay for you. Splitting the check always complicated.” “Not this again. I will pay for myself. I can do it.” “We’re so far from everything, and frankly, I’m tired of soup every week.” “Then order something else.” I retorted. I looked him square in the eyes before taking a sip of my soda. I sighed and continued. “Why are we meeting again? Who died?”   “I just wanted to check up on you, is that wrong?” Christopher countered. He reached into his bag and started sifting through papers. I nodded my head. “I’ll be back.” I said curtly before sliding out of the booth. Christopher kept his head down, not bothering to ask where I was going. I grabbed my jacket and put it on before heading towards the back exit of the restaurant. I leaned against the brick building and pulled a stray cigarette and a lighter out of my jacket. The bricks had been heating in the sun and were warming my back as I put the cigarette in between my teeth and tried to ignite the dying lighter. I puffed on the cigarette and reveled in the calming feeling of the smoke filling my lungs. I let out another mouthful of smoke and watched as the wind carried away the cloud instead of leaving it to hang over me. Picking up a stone, I weighed it in my hand before hurling it across the abandoned back lot. “You’re killing yourself. I always tell you to stop.” Christopher says when he sees burned out butt in between my fingers. “They literally suck the life out of you.” “Jesus, you scared me.” I told him as I snuffed out the cigarette on the wall. “And who cares what you think?” “I care.” He snatched the butt from my hand and threw it on the ground and then proceeded to dust off his hands like he had dirt on his palms. “I’ve told you. This is how it started for him, too.” “Oh stop it. You know I’m not like him, Chris.” I scoffed and popped a stick of gum in my mouth. I tossed the silver wrapper into a patch of sunlight on the ground and continued. “Is that what this is about? I thought we were done with that!” “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Matty.” I looked at my younger brother in disbelief before pushing my way past him and re-entering the diner. I ran my hands along the walls of the hall as I walked back in doors. I stopped to admire a photograph on the wall of a waiter holding a pitcher in an attempt to ignore my brother. Christopher followed closely and tried to reason with me. “You were blind to everything, but I saw it!” “What did you see Christopher?” I asked him sarcastically. I already knew every detail to the speech that I had heard for years. “Him! Going downhill! And I saw you, growing up without direction! You can’t turn out like him!” I sat down in the booth and picked up my sandwich and took a bite. “Have you seen him recently, Chris?” I asked as ham scraps fell out of my mouth. “He showed up to my house a while ago. Asked for a second chance, he wanted to meet my kids. He said he wanted to catch up, a whole bunch of bullshit if you ask me. He then asked me for money. The nerve.”   “Why didn’t he ask me? He’s visited me before, never asked me for money.” I leaned in towards my younger brother and waited for his answer.   “You know why, Matty.” Christopher sighed and rolled up the sleeves of his all too fancy button-down. “Do I? Christopher?” I challenged him. “Do I know why he asks you and not me?” “It’s because you have no money! You’re barely scraping by with your studio that’s falling apart in your hands! Your income is based off of late shifts at Gelson’s and handyman jobs from Craigslist! That jacket is 12 years old and you only come here because it’s the only food that you can afford that doesn’t come from a drive in, served to you by a high schooler who has a piggybank on his desk holding more money than your bank account, Matthew!” Christopher shouted. I stood up and walked over to Christopher and glared at him, but he kept yelling. “He came to me, Matty! He came to me because he knows that, with me, he has a shot at getting some real cash! He wants to hold a check in his hand, not a roll of quarters!” 
I reached out and punched my brother in the face. Christopher looked at me in shock and reached up to feel his nose, which was bleeding at the bridge. He stood up and roughly pushed me back. I stumbled into a metal chair before righting myself. Christopher stepped out into the open center of the diner, drawing even more attention to us. He stood in a sun spot, lighting up my brother like a god. I pulled off my jacket and tossed it back to the table and walked towards my brother. “He went to you, only because he thinks he still has a chance! He thinks he hasn’t messed up with you yet!” I growled. I ran my fingers through my hair in anger. “He’s screwed with both of us, only you’ve never been able to deal with the fact that he is gone.” Christopher spat. “I moved on! I knew he wasn’t coming back! I knew that the only father figure I’d have was going to be my slacker older brother who couldn’t even maintain straight Cs in his sophomore year of high school!” I shook my head to myself slowly before turning on my heel and kicking over a aluminum chair. Christopher laughed to himself and leisurely walked over to the diner counter and leaned against the cold metal surface. I took a quick glance around the room and finally noticed all the people watching the family feud that was nothing close to the television show. Christopher looked at me again, but only this time his eyes weren’t as bright, his smirk had been wiped off his face. “Why do you defend him?” Christopher chuckled. “You didn’t see him. You were too caught up in the novelty of high school, and the memories of dad that you didn’t see it. You only saw the family portraits, not the cracked frame that held the photograph. You only saw Christmas presents being handed out, not the gifts wrapped in old newspaper, instead of papers adorned with red nosed reindeer and striped candy canes!” Christopher grabbed my elbow and held it while his voice bounced off of the walls of the diner. “The only family photo I remember is the one with a tear down the middle! The gifts I remember are cheap toys handed to me in a stained paper bag in passing! You remember sitting in the shot gun seat of that god awful Range Rover, but the only thing I remember sitting in the passenger seat was a box crammed with belongings as he drove off!” “Chris, you’re exaggerating it! This is all in your head, it’s-” “Stop defending him, Matty!” Christopher smashed his fist into the table that he stood by and then slumped into a chair, defeated. I looked up from my crunched position, leaning over the back of a chair. I made eye contact with my brother, our cold lunches forgotten. By now, the diner had started to move again. Women with messy buns and lipstick bustled about, taking orders and talking in overly sweet southern accents through clenched teeth. The sun had set and the restaurant was half empty. Sounds of clanking dishes and muted shouts of “Order up!” were wafting through the rusty doors of the kitchen. I motioned for my brother to sit with me and put the fight in the past. Christopher was hesitant but soon joined me in the booth to finish our lunch. He straightened his tie and brushed off the seat before sitting down. We sat and ate in silence and listened to the wind pick up outside that rattled the thin windows of the diner. “You know, I’m not mad anymore. He’s gone.” I said while I pushed my sandwich pieces around my plate. Christopher nodded at me and raised his cup in agreement. We sat in silence for a while. “I’m done, are you?” Christopher tossed some dollar bills on the table and stood up. “Let’s go.” I stood up and put on my jacket. Christopher took a final sip of his drink and turned towards the door. Suddenly, a man put his hand on Christopher’s shoulder. Christopher turned to face the man and see what he wanted. “Christopher?” The man asked. I took a small step closer to my younger brother as he addressed the man who had touched him. The man wore a sweater that was two sizes too big and ridden with stains. His jeans were ripped in more places than one and his shoes were holding together by a thread. The only out of place thing in the diner infested with dirt was the young child in the man’s arms. She couldn’t have been older than two by the looks of her chubby cheeks and pigtails in her hair. “How do you know my name…Sir?” Christopher said and took a step backwards. “Do you not recognize your own father, boys?” The man asked with a hopeful smile. Christopher reached out and grabbed my elbow and squeezed it with all his strength. I tensed and my breath sped up. I stepped in front of my younger brother and looked down on the man that used to be my father. “Norman.” I addressed him. I tried to even my breath, but failed. “How did you find us?” “I saw you here when you pulled up.” He confessed. “I live around here.” “You found a home?” Christopher asked with a raised eyebrow. “I live around here. In the homeless shelter down the street.” My jaw dropped. The man I knew when he was my father was tall and built with muscle. He was short-haired and blue eyed. The man in front of me was the complete opposite. His back was curved and his skin was hanging off of his body. His veins were showing through his skin and his chin was covered in stubble. The eyes that looked at me were glazed over and dead. “This,” Norman smiled when he finally noticed the child in his arms. “Is Emily.” “Daughter?” I asked sadly. “But not for long.” Norman responded. He placed the girl on her two feet and then he put his hands in his pockets. “I can’t take care of her. She’s getting older and hard to take care of.” “Put her up for adoption. Problem solved. We need to go.” Christopher answered and turned to pull open the door. I nodded and followed my brother toward the exit. “I can’t. I already have a family for her.” Norman explained. He grabbed the little girl’s hand and helped her into a chair facing the window.   “Great. Go find them. I don’t want to look at you anymore.” Christopher said and turned his back to me. He rubbed his eyes and tried to hide the sniffling from his crying. “Good luck with her…sir.” I nodded and led my brother out of the diner and down the parking lot. Christopher kicked a rock in front of him and kept his head down. He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and stared at the little moon reflection in his polished shoes. I kept my hand on his shoulder and turned him in the right direction. I opened the door to his car and waited for him to get into the seat. The wind blew my hair into my face and whipped the back of my legs. The sun had disappeared and the moonlight failed to illuminate the parking lot. The diner’s neon sign had all but died and left only three glowing letters. My boot print created a path in the layer of dirt covering the parking lot from the diner to my brother’s car. “Hey! Wait!” I turned to see who was running towards us and Christopher leaned his head out of the car door. Norman jogged to us while holding his child on his hip. She played with her father’s hair as he came to a stop in front of the car and shifted her to his other hip. My brother looked at Norman and waited for an explanation. “You-you’re the family.” Norman said as he tried to catch his breath. “You’ll take her, right?” I backed up a couple of steps and opened my mouth to speak. I stood with my jaw to the floor but didn’t say anything. The wind dried out my mouth and made it taste like sandpaper. “You’ll keep her, Matty?” Norman asked me. I shook my head slowly and headed to my car, not looking back at Norman or my brother. I sat in my car and watched the man turn to my brother who still sat in his car with the door open. I saw him mouth the same words as his hair whipped him in the face. I noticed Norman eying the car seat in the back of Christopher’s car as he spoke to my brother and tried to persuade him. Christopher looked at Norman as he held out the young girl who had no idea what was happening and reached into his pocket to pull out something. My brother handed our father a crumpled handful of what seemed to be dollar bills and slowly shut the door of his car. Christopher started his engine and I started to back out of the parking spot. I drove past the man cradling the young girl with the pig tails in the middle of the parking lot and I watched as he made no attempt to stop my brother as he drove off. I kept an eye on my rear view mirror as the man holding the child became smaller and smaller and was finally swallowed by dust and night. I turned the wheel of my car and sped off in an opposite direction.
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Bafta TV awards: What to look out for at this year’s ceremony – BBC News
Image copyright Getty Images
Image caption Benedict Cumberbatch (The Hollow Crown) and Claire Foy (The Crown) are in the leading actor and actress categories
The Bafta Television awards take place on Sunday, with the lavish royal Netflix drama The Crown dominating the nominations.
The event at the Royal Festival Hall will be hosted for the first time by former Great British Bake Off presenter Sue Perkins.
Here are a few things to look out for on the big night.
Who can we expect to see on the red carpet?
Image copyright Getty Images
The glittering guestlist includes Alan Carr, Amanda Holden, Ant and Dec, Benedict Cumberbatch, Claudia Winkleman, Daniel Mays, David Walliams, Ed Balls, Jessica Raine, Kim Cattrall, Louis Theroux, Nicola Walker, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Olivia Colman, Pearl Mackie, Sarah Lancashire, Scarlett Moffatt, Suranne Jones, Thandie Newton, Tom Hollander and Zawe Ashton.
And by the look of the seating plan (above), The Crown’s Claire Foy will spend the ceremony sitting next to EastEnders’ Danny Dyer.
She can tell him about Queen Elizabeth. He can tell her about the Queen Vic.
But why’s Graham Norton not presenting as usual?
Sue Perkins is taking the reins this year because Norton will have been busy presenting the Eurovision Song Contest in Ukraine one day earlier.
When she was announced as host in March, Perkins tweeted: “Beyond chuffed to be the one keeping the inestimable @grahnort ‘s seat warm this year.”
Cheeky.
Which shows have the most nominations?
Image copyright BBC/Minnow Films/Joe Albas
Image caption Damilola, Our Loved Boy (BBC One) has three nominations
The Crown – 5
Damilola, Our Loved Boy – 3
Fleabag – 3
Happy Valley – 3
See the full nominations list
What can we expect from the winning speeches?
Not just a long list of “thank yous” if 2016 is anything to go by.
At last year’s Baftas several winners used their speeches to defend the independence of the BBC. The ceremony took place just days before the government published a white paper on the corporation’s future.
This year a general election is looming.
Bafta is reported to have emailed nominees asking them to offer “a short anecdote or an interesting detail about the production” in their victory speeches.
According to The Guardian, some of its recipients have dubbed it “a ham-fisted attempt to avoid controversy”.
Will The Crown reign supreme?
Expect plenty of right royal headlines if the big budget show scoops the drama category.
The Crown’s first 10 episodes launched on Netflix in November. Writer Peter Morgan intends to tell the entire story of Britain’s monarchy from the reign of George VI, the Queen’s father, over 60 episodes.
Claire Foy is up for leading actress for her portrayal of the young Queen Elizabeth.
Jared Harris, who plays George VI, John Lithgow (Winston Churchill) and Vanessa Kirby (Princess Margaret) are all nominated for their supporting roles.
Last year Bafta changed its rules on eligibility which has allowed shows with international funding, such as The Crown, to be entered outside the international category.
The best actress race is one to watch
Image copyright AP/Getty Images
Image caption Leading actress nominees (clockwise from top left) Claire Foy, Sarah Lancashire, Nikki Amuka-Bird and Jodie Comer
This is Claire Foy’s second consecutive nomination for lead actress. Last year she was nominated for her role as Anne Boleyn in Wolf Hall, but lost out to Doctor Foster actress Suranne Jones.
This year’s competition is just as tough.
She’s up against NW’s Nikki Amuka-Bird, Happy Valley’s Sarah Lancashire and Jodie Comer for BBC Three abduction drama Thirteen.
Could streaming services win big?
Image copyright Getty Images
Image caption The cast of Netflix’s Stranger Things
Yes, we’re talking about those shows that weren’t made for the traditional broadcast channels.
Netflix has never won a TV Bafta, so victory for The Crown would be a big deal.
It has another shot at glory with sci-fi hit Stranger Things, a strong contender in the international category.
Last year that category went to Netflix rival Transparent, on Amazon Prime, about a Los Angeles family who discover that their retired father is a transgender woman.
And who did it beat? Netflix’s Narcos, among others. Ouch.
Transparent is nominated again this year – but there’s also stiff competition from HBO’s crime drama The Night Of and the Golden Globe-winning The People v O J Simpson: American Crime Story.
And let’s not forget all the nominees from online-only channel BBC Three.
Will the stars of Fleabag be jumping for joy?
Image copyright PA
Image caption Phoebe Waller-Bridge is up for best female comedy performance
Talking of BBC Three, its breakout comedy hit Fleabag has three nominations.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who adapted her own one-woman theatre show, plays a sarcastic, sex-obsessed young woman attempting to navigate modern life in London.
Fleabag is nominated for best scripted comedy, while Waller-Bridge and Fleabag co-star Olivia Colman are up against each other for female comedy performance.
They are up against Lesley Manville for Mum and Diane Morgan for Cunk on Shakespeare.
Joanna Lumley won’t be going home empty-handed
Image copyright PA
It’s already been announced that the Ab Fab star is being honoured with the prestigious Bafta Fellowship.
Perhaps best known for playing champagne-sipping Patsy Stone, Lumley has had one of the most varied careers in British entertainment.
After starting out as a model she was propelled to fame in the 1970s as Purdey in The New Avengers.
She once took 27 takes to kiss Leonardo DiCaprio when they were filming a scene for The Wolf of Wall Street.
Surely that deserves a Bafta all of its own.
When can I watch the ceremony?
The Virgin TV British Academy Television Awards will be broadcast on BBC One on Sunday at 20:00 BST.
Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion email [email protected].
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