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pxedpiper · 3 years

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Horizon (21)

Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)

Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail

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A/N: Y'all ever just spend all night writing 23 pages of a chapter because you got possessed by the god of writing suddenly???? yeah that was me with this chapter bc HOOOOLYYY SHIT she's a long one! Not that I'm sure anyone will complain with that but like damn i really did go off here. Chapter warnings though: this does contain child abuse (though I don't think it's incredibly descriptive??? i tried my best) as well as uh smth near the end that i think y'all will like (eye emojis bc i'm on laptop) I hope you guys enjoy this EXTREMELY long chapter !!! i'm about to go pass out lmao

It wasn’t hard to corner Seonghwa; thanks to him spending a lot of time in the kitchen, it was easy to catch him during a time no one else was likely to interrupt. You casually strolled in, trying not to make it seem obvious that you were there for a reason.

“Hello, Seonghwa,” You greeted, “Are you busy?”

“Not terribly, just preparing dinner for later,” He replied, not looking at you, “I would like some help, however, if you’re willing.”

“No problem,” You jumped up, “What do you need?”

“Make sure these vegetables are cut up properly,” He instructed, handing you a kitchen knife, “It’s no dagger, but I don’t think I need to doubt your skills with a blade, now do I?”

You confirmed, “Jongho’s mother showed me what to do when we first went to his home, remember? I can handle this.” You began to chop the vegetables, letting a moment pass before you spoke up again. “Seonghwa?”

“Yes?” He answered absentmindedly, clearly focused on cooking.

“I couldn’t help but notice… Every time that Hongjoong brings up the possibility of seeing your families, you act differently. You and Yunho both, truly.” He froze in place at your words. “And I remember before, you told me it’d been six years since you’d last seen your family. I didn’t want to ask more at the time, because I was still new to the crew and didn’t want to pry, but I hope by now I’ve earned enough trust to be able to ask, Seonghwa.”

“It’s not a matter of trust,” He sighed, leaning forward onto the counter, “I don’t like to talk about it. It isn’t important, anyway.”

“Of course it’s important, it’s about you,” You replied, looking at him, “And I’d say it’s only fair, considering you know everything about my family. If you really don’t want me to know, then I’ll stop asking, but I think it might benefit the both of us if you still get upset over it.”

He was silent for a moment, thinking over your words, before sighing again, “I know by now you know the common theme amongst everyone in the crew, correct?”

“Yeah, that Hongjoong saved you all in some way,” You instantly responded, “It applies to me, too.”

“Well, I was the very first person he saved,” He began, “I was his first crewmate. He met me right as he’d stolen The Utopia from it’s former owner.”

“That recently?!” You were shocked, “That means you’ve known him since before he was the Pirate King!”

“Yes, Yunho and Mingi, as well,” Seonghwa nodded, “But I won’t go too deeply into that. You see, before I was a pirate, I was just a sailor, I’d go out sailing for food to help feed my family, my parents and little brother. But one day, a storm came with no warning, and we weren’t prepared. I was the only survivor of that crew.”

“Oh my god,” You almost whispered, “How did you survive?”

“To this day, I’m not sure,” Seonghwa admitted, “It was almost like I was meant to survive, like I wasn’t supposed to die there. Maybe one of Maddox’s tricks, now that I think about it, but who could tell for sure? The point is, I was alive, but still adrift in the middle of the ocean. I thought that if the storm didn’t kill me, surely the hunger or dehydration would. But that’s when Hongjoong came, barely managing the ship all on his own. He noticed me sailing on my own and brought me aboard, giving me something to eat and drink while he was at it.”

“That sounds like Hongjoong,” You smiled fondly, thinking of your captain.

Seonghwa matched your smile, “Yes, and I was so thankful. I felt as though I owed my life to him, and after finding out that he was in need of crewmates, I quickly volunteered to join. He was surprised, but not exactly in a position to turn it down. And thus, I became his quartermaster.”

You tilted your head slightly, “But, what about your family? What happened to them?”

“What, indeed,” He sighed, “I know you’re no stranger to how pirates are considered by the general public. I couldn’t go back as a pirate, what if they’d shame me or want no part of me anymore? Who could blame them if they did? I thought it better to just let them think I was dead, then they wouldn’t feel the shame of having a pirate as a son. But, even now…”

“You feel guilty over it,” You finished, catching on to what he was about to say, “Seonghwa, I really don’t think you need to worry. While, yes, maybe at the time they might’ve had a bad reaction, by now I’m sure they’d just be glad to know you’re alive, pirate or not. Maybe it’s time you finally saw them again, let them know you’re still here and thinking about them.”

“I can’t,” He shook his head, “At least, not now. I’m not ready to face them yet. Besides, with the war looming over our heads, there’s no guarantee I’d even survive, and how cruel would it be to show up in front of them only to die, this time genuinely? It’d be too much, for both me and them.”

“I understand,” You nodded gently, holding onto both of his hands, “I won’t tell you that we’ll definitely make it out of this, because I don’t know for sure, and we could all die in this war. But, I want you to promise me that if you make it out of the war alive, you’ll go find your family. They need the closure, and quite frankly, you need it, too. Can you do that for me, Seonghwa?”

“I… I’ll try,” Seonghwa hesitantly stated, “But I can’t promise anything. Let’s focus on winning this war first, shall we? Then we’ll see about me finding my family.”

“That’s good enough for me,” You grinned at him, “Now, do you still need help with dinner, or can you handle it by yourself?”

“I can take it from here, (Y/N),” He chuckled, almost as if he were amused. As you turned to leave the kitchen, you could hear him call after you, “(Y/N?)”

“Yes?” You turned to face him again.

He gave you a sincere smile, “Thank you. For listening.”

“It’s no problem,” You returned the smile with one of your own, “After all, what are friends for?”

Later, as you searched the ship for Yunho, you ran into someone near the bow of the ship. Looking up, you quickly saw that it was Eden.

“I’m so sorry, Captain Eden,” You quickly apologized, “I was looking for Yunho and wasn’t aware of my surroundings.”

“It’s fine,” The older man waved off, an almost disinterested look upon his face, “I was actually meaning to speak with you myself, Your Highness, without Hongjoong keeping watch over you. I had something to ask you.”

“Please, don’t call me by any titles, as I already said I have none,” You reminded, “But alright, what do you need?”

“How come you haven’t left the crew yet?” With that question, the mood changed so suddenly that you could hear a pin drop.

Unsure of what his meaning behind this question was, you hesitantly replied while trying to maintain a friendly air, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t-!”

“I mean to say, how come you haven’t left the crew and freed them of this war yet?” Eden cut you off, doubling down on his question, “You know there’s no possible way for a ragtag group of pirates to win against the Royal Navy, why not just give yourself up and spare their lives?”

Dropping the friendly air, you narrowed your eyes and frowned at him, “And where exactly do you come off speaking like that when, quite frankly, it’s none of your business?”

“You asked for my help and my charge is your captain, so, quite frankly, it is my business,” He replied, matching the hostile air, “I agreed to help for his sake, not yours. You’ve given me no reason to believe you’re not a detriment to this crew.”

“Maddox said-!” You started, but were once again cut off.

Eden scoffed, “Maddox? You mean the madman down at Tortuga who you all now claim to be the ocean? Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“You said to Hongjoong earlier that you believed him because he knew better than to lie to you,” You argued, becoming increasingly more annoyed with Eden’s attitude the more he spoke.

“I did, yes, and I did believe him. I believe that he believes it, not that it actually happened. How you convinced him of such magic, I’m not sure, but I don’t care,” He responded, “I want you to leave Hongjoong and this crew, forever. They’re all too caught up in their love for you to realize that you’re leading them to their deaths, but if you truly care for them as much as you say you do, then you’ll go back home to your castle and call off this war.”

“How fucking dare you talk to me like that?” You stepped forward, enraged as you leaned in close to his face, “I may not have titles any longer, but I won’t be talked to in such a matter. Who exactly do you think you are to be giving me such an order?”

“Your captain’s captain, if you’ve already forgotten,” He returned your glare with one of his own.

You let out a slight scoff, “Yes, you’re his former captain, but you’re not mine. You have absolutely no authority over me, and so I don’t have to listen to a single fucking thing you have to say. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you one way or another. Just you watch.”

“I’m telling you one last time, leave the crew and go back home, unless you want to see the crewmates you love so much die in front of your eyes,” He warned once again as you turned around, not backing down in the slightest.

Whipping around, you leaned in close once again, whispering harshly, “I’m not going anywhere, do you hear me? I made a promise to Hongjoong that I would stay on this ship, that I would never leave, and my promise to him means more to me than any authority you have over him!” Having finally had enough, you pushed past him, still fuming at how much he’d riled you up. Now you definitely needed to find Yunho, he always knew just how to calm you down.

Eden gave a small smirk as he watched the girl storm away, practically seeing the steam run out of her ears at how angry he’d gotten her.

Making his way over to Hongjoong’s quarters, he took a seat across the younger captain, “Well, she’s definitely a feisty one, that’s for certain.”

Hongjoong groaned, putting his quill down so he could put his head in his hands, “Don’t tell me you gave her one of your ‘tests’...”

“I had to make sure she was ready to fight alongside you all,” Eden replied, his tone almost innocent, “This is her family we’re going against after all, we can’t afford for her to pull any punches.”

“Yes, well, now I’m afraid she may end up punching you before anyone else, the way you do things,” Hongjoong sighed, leaning back in his chair, “So, what then? Did she meet your standards?”

“I think had we gotten anyone else we’d be in trouble,” Eden answered, not looking at his former student, “Despite her royal upbringing, she’s a perfect fit amongst you all. I guess you could call that irony, you being the Pirate King, and all.”

“Yeah, she was always a perfect fit, even if things started out rocky at first,” Hongjoong smiled softly, thinking of the girl that had taken his heart.

Eden didn’t miss the look on his face, speaking up, “I know you, Hongjoong, I know that look. And even if I didn’t, I could see it the minute I saw you with her. You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”

“Deeply,” Hongjoong admitted, not wanting to even try to argue it, “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve had… infatuations before-!”

“You’re telling me,” Eden scoffed, remembering some of the antics Hongjoong had gotten up to as a young teenager.

“But,” Hongjoong continued, giving a glare to his teacher, “It was never anything as… intense, as this. It’s almost indescribable, just every inch of my being wants to be near her. It was hell when she let herself get captured, Eden, pure hell. I barely know how to contain myself.”

“If you feel this strongly about her, you should tell her,” Eden advised, “It won’t do any good to just sit around on your feelings, letting them build up until they put you at a disadvantage. It’d be best to tell her the next time you see her.”

“We’re about to go to war, Eden,” Hongjoong sighed, “One or both of us very well could die, and then where would that leave us? What would be the point of confessing if we may not even live to see a future together?”

“Alright then, let’s think about it, shall we?” Eden humored his student, “Let’s go through the different scenarios. Number One, you live and she dies.” Just the mere thought of it caused Hongjoong to tighten his fists; he absolutely could not let that happen. “Now, would you want her to have died never knowing of your feelings, and have yourself live on knowing she never knew? Or would you at least want her to know before she passed, know that there was someone on Earth that loved her deeply?”

Hongjoong was silent, not knowing how to respond.

“Number Two,” Eden continued, “You die and she lives. Would you want her to live with the regret that you died for her, but never knowing why outside of you being her captain? Would you want her to live with that guilt?”

“No,” Hongjoong spoke softly, staring at the desk in front of him.

“Number Three, you both live. Then you can both live on happily as whatever you want, whether it be a pirate and his crewmate or as two civilians settling down in a town somewhere. It seems that there’s a pretty clear answer to me,” Eden concluded.

“You left one out,” Hongjoong pointed out, “We could both die. Then what?”

“What does it matter then, Hongjoong? You’re just trying to give yourself reasons not to tell her about how you feel,” Eden argued, “Besides, if you tell her now, at least you can say you had some time together, even if it was short. Some time is better than none at all, you’ll do well to remember that. You need to tell her, Hongjoong, before it’s too late.”

Hongjoong was silent for a moment before he sighed, “I’ll think about it. Besides, I don’t even know if she feels the same way.”

“She definitely feels the same way, she was damn near ready to kill me when I told her to leave you and the ship,” Eden scoffed.

“Right, well-!” Hongjoong continued the work he was doing, then paused, “Wait, you did what?”

You were still steaming with anger as you tried to find Yunho, almost missing the blue haired boy as he ran into you as well.

“Hey, watch it there,” He chuckled, clearly not upset until he saw that you were, “What’s wrong? Did Wooyoung call you princess again?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s that I can’t believe that Hongjoong was raised by such a rude, no-good, infuriating bilgerat of a man,” You ranted, anger still clouding your head.

“Okay, let’s calm down a bit before he hears you, I doubt that’ll make the situation better,” Yunho grabbed onto your shoulders and tried to calm you down, “Let’s go to the railing and talk, alright? Like how we used to back when you first came on board.”

“Alright,” You nodded, taking deep breaths to calm down, “Let’s go.” Once you were at the railing where you liked to watch over the ocean, you informed Yunho of your altercation with Eden, relaying every detail.

“Ah, it seems you’ve been given one of Eden’s ‘tests’,” Yunho chuckled, understanding the situation now, “Don’t take it to heart, he likely meant none of it. It’s just what he does to every new crew member, to make sure Hongjoong isn’t surrounded by anyone who’ll hurt him. It’s like you said, the man’s like his father, and he wants what’s best for him, even if neither of them will admit it. He can take it a bit far though, damn near almost got killed by San for doing the same thing.”

“I think I’ve had quite enough of people giving me tests,” You grumbled, thinking of when Maddox had sent the storm to test your willpower on your first voyage to Elysia.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you!” Yunho laughed, “But like I said, he meant none of it. If anything, he probably respects you more now due to your response. You put Hongjoong before him, which is what every crew member should do for their captain. For once, your temper actually worked in your favor.”

“Oh, shut up,” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully before you both burst into laughter at your antics. It was silent between you two, before you spoke up again, “You know, this is a lot like before, you and me at this railing while you tried to calm me down. I didn’t trust anyone back then, but now I trust you all with my life, isn’t it funny how things turn out?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Yunho smiled, gazing out into the ocean, “Nearly thought you’d and Yeosang would end up killing each other, the way you two fought. Now here you both are, ready to fight side by side. I’m almost proud.”

“I have something to admit,” You started, “Nothing bad, but when we last saw Maddox, he gave me a mission of sorts. He told me to get close to every crew member, to find out everything I could about them, to strengthen our bonds, I assume. If I’m being honest, I’d almost forgotten about it because it seemed to happen naturally, but there’s one more person I still don’t know a lot about, and that’s you, Yunho. And, I figured, you were the first person on this ship that I began to trust, so how fitting is it that you’re the last person that trusts in me?”

“If I’m being honest, I kinda figured that’s what you were doing,” Yunho admitted, “And, well, I suppose it was going to happen sooner or later that I’d tell you my past. I don’t mind telling you, but I’m afraid it’s quite bittersweet. Not tragic, like Mingi’s, San’s, Yeosang’s, and Wooyoung’s, or complicated as Seonghwa’s. Just… bittersweet.”

“I’m listening,” You encouraged, holding onto his hand.

“I used to live in a small town, way far away from here, clearly, with my father and younger brother,” Yunho began, “My mother died when my brother was very young and I’m sorry to say he went not too long after. I was fairly young myself, so it didn’t really impact me as much as it would now, but it changed something within my father. He became increasingly overprotective, to the point where I was essentially being kept captive in my own home. I wasn’t allowed to go out, and anytime I tried I’d get yelled at. I’m sure you can relate to that feeling.” He looked at you, the smile on his face not matching his words. You merely nodded, allowing him to continue.

“However, try as he might, he couldn’t stop me from looking out my window at night and seeing the stars, all sparkling and beautiful. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I’d sneak outside my home through the window and climb up onto the roof to be able to get a better look. I guess if you wanted to be poetic about it, you could say the stars were my first love,” Yunho had a fond look on his face as he told the story, “And so, from the minute I learned to read, I spent all my time learning about the stars and anything that comes with it. That’s how I learned to be a navigator; my love for the stars was the very thing that gave me my role on this ship. And that’s where Hongjoong comes in.”

“Hongjoong and Seonghwa had just made it to shore when I saw them; my former home was by the ocean,” Yunho continued, “They’d just met themselves, I believe, as I remember them telling me that Seonghwa had just become Hongjoong’s first crewmember. They’d stayed in town for a few days before they spotted me, looking at them through the window. I still don’t know what possessed Hongjoong to try to talk to me, but he walked right up to the window and introduced himself, Seonghwa trailing behind him, trying to stop him. I was surprised they’d even bothered, but I was overjoyed, as well. They were the first people beside my father who’d actually talked to me. I told them about myself, and why I was stuck inside, and you wouldn’t believe how angry Hongjoong got, him and Seonghwa both. They both promised that they’d find a way to bust me out, and that I could go with them as a pirate as their third member. Well, it didn’t take much to convince me, that’s for sure. I agreed instantly, and they set their plan for that night.”

“Once it was dark, Seonghwa caused a distraction, luring my father outside and away from the house, while Hongjoong snuck in and helped me carry whatever I needed out to the ship. Once we made it out, Hongjoong gave some sort of signal to Seonghwa to let him know that we were in the clear, and Seonghwa snuck away from my father. By the time he made it back home, I was already on the ship. I never knew what he did when he realized I was gone, or even what became of him. I joined the crew as their navigator and never looked back since,” Yunho concluded, “I don’t really feel bad about it, because I know I’m a lot better off than I would’ve been back there, but at the same time, I feel for the poor man, you know? His wife and child die, and his only remaining son runs off, never to be seen again. If I didn’t remember how bad it was, I might’ve been inclined to return, but as it stands, I don’t really ever want to see him again. I’m happy now, I don’t really need any sort of closure, not any he could give me anyway.”

You nodded for a second, understanding, “We’re a lot more alike than I thought, our stories are so similar. Now I understand what you meant when you said that you know how I felt back when we first talked.”

“It takes one to know one,” He agreed, still looking off into the ocean, “Though, I will say, it is nice to finally let it off my chest again. The crew knows, of course, but… I suppose it takes someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be locked away from the world to fully understand the weight of it. I’m glad you were the one I could properly talk about it with.”

“It’s no problem,” You smiled at him, giving him a slight nudge, “Consider it returning the favor for listening to me talk back then. Now we’re even.”

“Now we’re even,” He nodded, smiling himself, “Now, let’s go join the rest of the crew, shall we? I suppose by now Hongjoong will have found out what Eden said and demand he give you an apology, so let’s see how the rest of the crews make fun of him this time.”

The rest of the trip to Eysia was calm, unlike the first time when Maddox had created that storm to test you. This time, there were no tests, only calm waters as you reached the island.

“The water is calmer than usual,” You pointed out, “Almost as if it’s expecting us.”

“You think Maddox knows we’re coming to see him?” Wooyoung asked, looking out into the water.

Yeosang replied, “It’d be a shock if he doesn’t, he seems to know everything, doesn’t he?”

“Well, he is the ocean,” You shrugged, “He probably hears us talking right now. I guess we’ll know for sure in a bit. We’re reaching land.”

“I still can’t believe there was such an opening amongst those rocks,” Eden frowned, but not in contempt, but rather confusion, “How’d you manage to spot it the first time?”

“That would be thanks to (Y/N),” Hongjoong came up, a proud smile on his face, “She’s got an amazing eye, she’s the best lookout we could’ve asked for.” Flustered at the praise, you looked down and smiled, not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “Now, are we ready? We’re heading to shore now. Who’s coming? I know (Y/N) is joining.”

“Captain, do you even need to ask? Of course the whole crew is coming,” San sighed exaggeratedly, as if he was tired of Hongjoong not knowing what to expect from them.

“Yeah, I just hope that we actually get to go in the cool looking cave this time and not be forced to wait while (Y/N) goes in alone again,” Wooyoung added, pouting at the memory of the last time the crew was at Elysia.

“I’ll be going as well, as Captain of my own crew,” Eden told Hongjoong, turning to look at him, “I’ll need to meet him for myself if we’re truly to get help from him.”

“Understood,” Hongjoong nodded, “Let’s go, then.” Once you made it off the ship onto dry land, you were met with a familiar face.

“Welcome back,” Elysian greeted, a genuine smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you again. And welcome to you, Eden. It’s nice to meet you for the first time.”

“Right, you as well,” He answered somewhat awkwardly, “I’m guessing you’re the Elysian they’ve told me about, then.”

“That’s correct. Like what Maddox is to the ocean, I am to this island, thanks to (Y/N),” He shot you a grateful smile, “Now, I understand you all find yourselves in a tricky situation. Maddox is expecting you all.”

“Yes!” You could hear Wooyoung softly cheer to himself.

“Lead the way,” Hongjoong said, ignoring Wooyoung’s little outburst. It didn’t take long until you were back in the cove from before, where you last met with Maddox, this time surrounded by the crew you’ve come to love.

Said man smiled at you, having been waiting, “Hello, again, (Y/N). It’s been quite some time.”

“But not for you, has it?” You guessed, “You’ve been seeing everything we’ve gone through since we left, haven’t you?”

“That’s correct,” He nodded, the smile on his face not fading.

“Damn lot of good you were, we could’ve used your help during some of the things we went through,” Mingi scoffed.

“We could use your help now,” Hongjoong added on, looking at him with a determined look.

“I could not and cannot be involved,” Maddox answered, “If I were to, I’d be disrupting things too much and fate would be changed. Things must follow a certain path, and I must remain impartial as the deity of the ocean. In some small cases, I can alter things to fit fate’s path, but anything of this magnitude I must stay out of.”

“So, you’re essentially saying you’re useless,” Eden spoke dryly, arms crossed as he looked annoyed.

“Not necessarily,” Maddox contested, “(Y/N), Hongjoong, could you two please step forward?” Looking at each other, the two of you did what he said. “(Y/N), I promised you that the next time we met, I’d tell you everything about how the two of you met before and how neither remember. It’s time I keep that promise.”

“We already have a suspicion,” Hongjoong spoke, “A dream I had, we think it’s a memory of our first meeting.”

“You’d be right,” Maddox nodded, “But it’s not the full story. The truth is, I was the one who wiped both of your memories.”

“You what?” The both of you spoke at once, shocked at the information he’d just given you.

“The two of you met before you were ever supposed to,” Maddox began to elaborate, “Sometimes, things like that happen naturally, which is why it’s my job to fix them so fate doesn’t end up changing. I had to wipe your memories of each other to make sure that when you met again, you’d be complete strangers.”

“Well, can you give us those memories back?” You asked, “Or, at least tell us what happened?”

“I can,” He confirmed, “It won’t hurt fate for you to know now that you’ve met and grown close as intended. If you both wish it, I can return your memories back right now.”

You looked to Hongjoong, who nodded, “Do it. I need, no, we need to know.”

“Very well, then.” Maddox spoke, “Then, I’ll need you both to close your eyes, and think back to when you were children…”

“(Y/N), are you sure we should’ve snuck away from the guards?” Your brother asked you worriedly, “I mean, they were given to us for a reason!”

“Oh, relax!” You laughed, practically skipping in the town square, “We’re the prince and princess, we should know about how our kingdom works, and what better way to learn than to see it firsthand? Come on, this helps you more than me, you’re the one who’s going to be king after all!”

“Hey,” He stopped you, grabbing onto your shoulder so you could face him, “I know Mother and Father remind you of that all the time, but you don’t need to remind me. Once I’m king, I’ll make sure you have some sort of power, not be some bride they think they can marry off.”

Smiling, you took his hand, “Well, that’s very sweet of you, but we’re here to have fun, not talk about what kind of king you’ll be. Now, come on, let’s go see what’s out there!” You led your brother away, running down the streets as you both laughed and giggled. You were twelve years old, and your brother fourteen, and it felt like the world was before you as you both took in the sights and sounds of the town. It wasn’t as grand as you were expecting, but it was something different than the castle walls, and that alone was enough to get you excited. However, it wasn’t long before that excitement came crashing down.

There was a crowd gathering in the street, and you could hear someone’s cries in the middle of it, it sounded like a young boy’s. Making your way through the crowd, you pushed your way up front where you could finally see what was happening; a young boy around your age with light red hair was getting whipped and kicked around by people much older and heavier than him, and everyone only seemed to be watching. He was covered in blood and mud, and you could see scars littering his body which told you that this wasn’t the first time this had occurred.

You whispered to your brother, who had caught up to you, “What’s going on? What are those men doing to him?”

“Those are slave traders,” He whispered back, “I didn’t know there were any in this kingdom, they sell people off and treat them terribly. Looks like that one got him mad about something, he’s giving him a real beating…” In horror, all you could do was watch as one of the older men kicked the boy again, causing him to spit out blood upon impact.

“How come everyone’s just watching, why don’t they do anything?” You hissed, growing increasingly angry at all the people just standing idly by.

“Look at him, what do you expect them to do? They can’t just take him in a fight, and I’m sure he’s probably got some dirt on all of them to keep them quiet. All they can do is watch.” At this, another blow was dealt, and you’d finally had enough.

“Well, I can’t watch this! Come on!” Without thinking, you quickly rushed towards the boy and grabbed his hand, ignoring your brother’s instant cry of your name. “Come on, get up!” You rushed, taking advantage of the fact the slave traders seemed so shocked, he’d frozen in place. Quickly as he can, the boy rose to his feet, and at an instant you were off, holding onto the boy’s hand as you took off running, your brother quickly following.

“Quickly, follow me!” You urged, knowing you were likely to be chased, “We can’t let them catch us!”

“(Y/N), you’re going to get us in trouble!” You brother hissed out, managing to keep up with your pace, “What are you thinking?!”

“Run now, talk later!” You answered, continuing to run.

Your brother admonished, “Do you know what you’ve just caused?!”

“How was I supposed to just leave him there, he’s all bloody!” You argued, gesturing to the boy, who’d remained quiet, confused on what was happening, “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”

“I-!” Realizing you were right, your brother sighed, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”

“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” Quickly, the three of you found a small alley to hide in for the time being. It was then you turned to smile at the boy, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”

You could see that he was still slightly hesitant, but he spoke in a soft voice, “...My name is Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong.”

“I’m (Y/N), and this worrywart is my brother (B/N)!” You introduced yourself and your brother, continuing to try to make the boy more comfortable with the two of you.

“You mean… the prince and princess of the kingdom?!” The boy’s, Hongjoong’s, eyes widened as he realized who he was in the company of.

“That’s right! Which means you’re the safest with us!” You grinned, “Hey, how old are you, anyway? You look pretty young to me…”

“I’m… twelve years old… I think…” He trailed off, not knowing for sure what his actual age was since he never knew his parents.

Your grin widened, “Hey, that means you’re the same age as me! That’s amazing!”

“(Y/N), we need to know what to do with him before the slave traders come and find us,” Your brother reminded you, “We need to think, fast.”

“Well, can’t he just stay with us in the castle?” You frowned, not wanting to part with your new friend, “That way he won’t go back to being a slave!”

“Look at him, do you really think Mother and Father would agree to letting him stay in the castle?” You pouted, but as much as you hated to admit it, your brother had a point. With how grimy and bloody Hongjoong was, there was no way your parents wouldn’t turn him away at an instant. Just as you were about to speak up again, you could hear the slave traders beginning to catch up.

“Quick, no time to talk, let’s go!” You grabbed onto Hongjoong’s hand again and ran, your brother following close behind. You made it to the docks, where you could see a ship loading it’s cargo and saw an opportunity. “Hongjoong, go on that boat! Hide in a barrel or something, but make sure you get on that ship, alright? It’s your best chance to escape!”

“But, what about you two?” Hongjoong asked, uncertain about the situation, “What will you do?”

“Don’t worry about us, we have guards looking for us,” You assured, “We’ll be fine, just have to deal with a bigger punishment from our mother than usual, is all. You’re what matters here, Hongjoong, if you don’t go now, you might not have another chance! Now go!”

He made his way to sneak onto the ship, but turned back to face you again, “Will we meet again?”

You smiled, glad to know he wanted to see you again, “I’m sure that someday, we will. Now, go on then! Be free!” He nodded quickly, giving you a smile in thanks, before he rushed out into the cargo hold and hid from view. Just then, you heard the slave traders catch up behind you, clearly out of breath.

“There they are!” One called out, “Where’s the merchandise?”

“You’re too late!” You provoked, “He’s long gone from here. Now you can’t ever hurt him ever again!”

“Why you rotten little…” The man tried to march towards you, but stopped at your brother’s words.

“Ah, ah, you wouldn’t want to hurt the prince and princess of the kingdom, would you? Especially not with the guards right behind you?” Turning around, the slave traders did indeed find the guards that were looking for you both behind them, looking none too pleased at the situation they were looking at.

The wind blew as you grinned. It seemed like karma really did exist after all. But oddly enough, it seemed like you were already forgetting what you were so happy about…

Your mother slapped you across the face, the impact making you land heavily on the tiled ground. You didn’t look up, refusing to meet your eyes as you touched your stinging cheek, your brother standing right behind you.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! Not only did you sneak away from your guards, you caused a scene in the middle of the square, right in front of everyone, and even dragged your poor brother into it with you! Do you know how much shame this brings both us and him?! You stupid, stupid child!” Your mother continued to yell, hurling insults as you stayed on the floor.

“I just…” You spoke softly, trying to remember what you had done in the first place.

“Just what? What explanation could you possibly have?!”

“I-I don’t remember.” You looked away again, knowing you just made things worse.

Your mother scoffed, “You don’t remember? How could you not remember what just happened today? Horrible child, and it’s a question of why (B/N) will be the one in charge?”

“Well, then tell me!” You raised your voice unexpectedly, “Tell me what it was that was so terrible, that it makes me a horrible child!”

“I- Well-!” It was clear that your mother either wasn’t expecting that response, but it only infuriated her more, “Idiotic girl, you should know what it was! I shouldn’t have to tell you of your own wrongdoings!” It was clear that she didn’t know either, but you didn’t notice at the time.

“Why not, it’s never stopped you before!” You fought back, clearly having had enough of this treatment.

“Enough!” Your father spoke up, having watched the whole ordeal, “(Y/N), you’re not to step foot outside of these castle walls, do you understand me? Clearly you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted to go out, not even with your brother.”

“What?! But what about (B/N)?! He joined me, too!”

“(B/N) is going to be king someday, he needs to be out in the town for the people to know and trust him.”

“But that’s not fair!” You argued, close to tears at this point. “You always treat him better than me! We’re both just as guilty of the same thing!”

“That’s enough, (Y/N)! My word is final!” Your father shouted, “Now, go to your room while your mother and I think of a proper punishment for (B/N).” Tears welling up in your eyes, you quickly ran back to your room, slamming the doors behind you and not letting anyone else inside as you cried.

Meanwhile, with Hongjoong, he now stood in front of Eden, who had found him stowing away in the cargo hold, and was now staring down in front of him with a cold look.

“Now, let me get this straight,” The older man spoke slowly, “You are a former slave, who managed to find the courage to escape his tormentors, and stowed away on this ship to find freedom? Did you just plan on us never finding out?”

“I… admit I wasn’t thinking much at the time…” Hongjoong answered softly, keeping his head down. In truth, he couldn’t quite remember what had happened or what he’d been thinking, but that was the best explanation that he could come up with.

“No, clearly not,” Eden drawled, “And what were you planning to do once we reached land? You really did not think anything through, did you?”

Hongjoong stayed silent, knowing he was right.

Eden stared at the boy, thinking, before he sighed, “As much as my entire being hates to admit this, I must say you do have courage if your story is true. And I can’t in good conscience let you out on your own when you don’t have a clue on how the world works, especially not with you being so young. So, I propose this: you become one of my pirate’s crew, and you’ll have food, drink, and safety for as long as you stay. If you choose to leave later, that’s fine, but for now, I’d say it’s in your best interest to agree. So?”

Hongjoong didn’t even need to think twice about it, looking Eden directly in the eyes, “I’ll do it. I’ll become a pirate.”

“Very well,” Eden nodded, “I’ll teach you everything you need to know myself, but it won’t be easy, got it? If you’re going to stay on this ship, you’re going to pull your weight, understand me?”

“Yes, sir!” Hongjoong instantly replied.

“Good, then from now on, I am your captain, and you will refer to me as such,” Eden declared, “Welcome to the crew, Kim Hongjoong.”

Opening your eyes, you were shocked as you saw Maddox in front of you again. Looking around to regain your bearings, you could see the rest of the crew and Eden, watching you both with rapt attention. You turned to Hongjoong to see him in much the same state you were, shocked and dazed.

“That was…” You trailed off, not sure where to start.

“The two of you were always destined to meet, but that would’ve been too soon,” Maddox explained, “Had I not intervened, things could’ve turned out for the worst. But, I knew that one day the two of you would meet again, so I took your memories so I could return them now, in this moment.”

“I…” Hongjoong still seemed a bit dazed, but he quickly shook it off, “We can’t focus on that right now. Maddox, we’re about to go to war, and we need some help. Are you sure there isn’t any way for you to help us?”

“I cannot,” Maddox confirmed, “But there is someone who can.” He turned his head to Elysian, who seemed confused.

“Me?” He questioned, “Why me?”

“I created Elysian, which means he has abilities similar to my own, albeit weaker, and can travel away from the island. Furthermore, due to him being my creation, he has no obligation to keep fate in line, nor does he know what will happen unless I tell him, so he’s the perfect person to bring along with you. I can’t say that you’ll win, but I can say that he’ll be a big help,” Maddox explained.

You walked up to Elysian, “Will you help? We need every person we can get right now.”

He smiled gently at you, “It’s because of you I was given a name and given a purpose. Of course I’ll help you in your time of need. It’s not even a question.”

“Thank you,” You sighed with relief, “And thank you, Maddox, for showing us the truth. Even if I’m not fond of the fact you stole our memories in the first place, I at least understand why.”

“Thank you for that, at least,” He responded, “I wish you all the best of luck. May we meet again soon.”

It was late at night as you were on the deck, practicing your sword training. You figured that with a war on the horizon, it was best to make sure you brushed up on all your skills, even the weaker ones. You were sure you were alone, until you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.

“How is it that you’re never asleep when you’re supposed to be?” Hongjoong smiled at you, watching you practice.

You stopped and laughed, answering, “I could say the same thing to you, captain. What do you need?”

He was silent for a minute before he spoke up, “Care to talk a walk around the ship with me? I find there’s a lot on my mind… A lot I need to get out.”

“Of course, no problem,” You replied, sheathing your sword, “Let’s go.” The two of you walked slowly, silence filling the air aside from the waves hitting the hull of the ship.

Finally, Hongjoong spoke up, “That… was a lot we learned today, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” You agreed, “But it was as we expected. I helped you escape onto Eden’s ship.”

“(Y/N), you saved my life,” Hongjoong spoke blatantly, but with clear emotion, “I surely would’ve been killed had you not interfered. I know Maddox says we were never meant to have met there, but now that I know, I can’t imagine things having turned out another way. I owe my life to you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Hongjoong,” You shook your head, “You saved my life back at that auction, as far as I’m concerned, we’re even. You don’t need to give me anything, least of all your life.”

“What if I want to give you something else?” Hongjoong asked, “Not my life, but something close to it?”

“Like what?” You asked, confused as to where he was headed.

“Like my heart.” At those words, you stopped in place and looked at him, seemingly paralyzed at what he just told you.

It felt like time froze still for a moment before you could finally find your voice and say, “What?”

“(Y/N), I don’t think I need to tell you that you’ve become very important to me in the time that you’ve been on this ship,” Hongjoong began, “Of course, all my crew members are important to me, but with you, it’s beyond that. For a long while now, you’ve been the most important person in my life, and now with my memories returned to me… It’s clear. You were always the most important person in my life, you who saved my life, it has always been you. From the moment we first met eyes at the auction, to when we finally faced Elias Sweet and dealt with him for good, to even just recently with Reeves, you were the person I was fighting for the most. I fell in love with you, so deeply, and I can’t afford to hide it any longer.”

“I- But why now?” You asked, trying to regain your bearings, “We’re about to go to war, why would you tell me this now?!”

“Because, if there’s anything those memories taught me, it’s that we are meant to be together,” Hongjoong affirmed, taking your hands in his, “There’s no logical reason to believe that we would’ve met ever again after I got on that ship, but here we are now. There were so many times where things could’ve gone wrong, but they didn’t. Maybe it was Maddox’s doing, maybe it was fate, I don’t care, because I know now that we can make it through this. We’ll survive this war, because the two of us are together, and once we’re together, we can do anything. I believe in us, do you?” By now, you were crying due to the overwhelming emotions.

“Of course I do!” You cried out, holding onto Hongjoong’s hands tightly, “Hongjoong, I love you so much! I just- I just!” You didn’t know what else to say, and good thing too, because Hongjoong took that moment to grab your face with one hand and kiss you deeply, the other hand trailing behind your back to pull you closer. You kissed him back with the same intensity, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pressed your bodies together. The two of you broke apart for air only to kiss again, and again as they only grew more passionate.

Eventually, Hongjoong rested his forehead on yours, whispering, “Stay with me tonight, in my quarters. Please.” You could tell what he meant by that request in his eyes, and you felt your body grow hotter at the thought.

Even so, you still nodded and agreed, whispering back, “I will.” Not wasting a single second, he picked you up in his arms and carried you to his quarters, kicking the door closed behind him.

What happened the rest of that night was between you and him.

#ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez imagines #ateez pirate au #ateez scenarios #hongjoong fanfic #seonghwa fanfic #yunho fanfic #yeosang fanfic #san fanfic #mingi fanfic #wooyoung fanfic #jongho fanfic

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crossdressingdeath · 3 years

Note

yes I was referring to her brother JC, also I thought that she helped in the kitchens, like she made soup for everyone and only safe 3 bowls of soup to JC, WWX and JZX not that she made soup only for them.

then I'm clueless why the soup was so important bc for me was like she is a simple girl but she will be a good wife and she is kind and humble but if she only make soup for them, my idea wasn't right.

Having discussed it a bit, from what the novel says she helped a little with the cooking in the camp and made extra for WWX, JC and JZX. Which given how the Jiangs have zero resources at this point and are entirely reliant on charity up until the Wens are defeated is... you know... almost certainly stealing food from a sect that is keeping them alive out of charity during a war (meaning resources are already probably scarce) because the rations are a bit bland even though there's no mention of even JC complaining about the food with any real interest in changing what they have. I assume we can all see the issue with this.

JYL shouldn't even have been there, honestly; she has nothing to offer the war effort beyond cooking, which could be done by someone else who could also help in other ways. JYL can't fight or clean or manage resources or help with strategy or... do anything other than cook; she's costing them more than she's offering! A servant would help cook; a servant would also keep the camp clean, help care for the horses, keep clothes clean, and so on. A cultivator could cook, and also fight. JYL's just sitting in camp making food and stealing a bit off the top because heaven forbid her loved ones have to survive off the same rations as everyone else. She should've stayed in Meishan, where she'd be safe and not in the way!

What I'm getting at is, the fact that she's in the war camp means that her helping out a bit with the cooking is... literally the bare minimum. This isn't a little camping trip, it's a war camp. You don't get to just sit in a war camp doing nothing all day, you have to pull your weight! She can't fight or clean or care for the horses or help with strategy, so helping out with the cooking is... the only thing she can do. Literally the only thing. She's not bravely taking on the work of a servant because she's a good and humble person, she's doing the smallest possible amount of work to somewhat justify her presence in a war camp when she has somewhere else she could be and isn't a soldier or tactician or servant or groom or anything. Ten to one even then her presence is only tolerated because of how insanely valuable WWX is, because... yeah, a bit of cooking is practically nothing considering that they have to feed, clothe and house her in the middle of a war despite her offering fuck all to the war effort and not needing the army's protection. I guarantee that if she didn't do that much JZX would very much notice that hey, she's absolutely fucking useless and refusing to pull her damn weight even though they're fighting a war; her doing some cooking just means he's not negatively aware of her.

#mdzs #lotus sister

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janetbrown711 · 3 years

Text

My headcanons about Queen Angelina II

Majority of these can be seen in this fic, so if you like the idea go check it out ;)

Also- a handful of these are shared with the lovely @madelynartz, who also has fantastic takes on her, so be sure to check out their post too

If you want me to draw/write any of these specific headcanons/moments, just send an ask and I’ll probably do it

I’ll (likely) be making another, seperate post for William when i feel like it

Update: I have

This is gonna be a long post-

Early Life:

Her parents weren't very loving or caring, only ever wanting her to work on her studies and singing

Her mother was worse than her father, as she was egotistical and always critical of Angelina II and always seemed to find problems with things and people that made her happy

Her mother also always went by her full name (You had to refer to her as Queen Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the First- she wouldn't let people shorten it)

Naturally- Angelina resented her mother and with that, her own name.

She hates it when people say her full name- "Just Angelina is fine"

But if she especially likes you, you can call her Lena ;)

Since the only thing her parents approved of was studying, she devoured the entire castle library as a child, which left her often more informed than her tudors, which left her bored during lessons and she quickly became a "smart-ass" as she liked to talk back and figure out the ways she could get out of lessons

She hated the idea of getting betrothed, and any time a suitor would come over, she'd attack his pride in any form she could think of to get them to hate her, and she was successful

One of the suitors was Prince Salazar

She hated Salazar the most

Despite her attitude being well known across several kingdoms, rumors of her beauty and wonderous singing kept them coming

Her father, King Harold the Eighth, died when she was 10, and she could hardly say she really grieved him, but it made her mother more distant and sometimes outright cruel

She met William when he was 15 in the royal stables when he was training to be a squire

He fell in love instantly, though Angelina wanted to get to know him first

They were the best of friends since they met, though it was obvious Queen Angelina I disapproved

However, after awhile Angelina just stopped caring about what her mother thought entirely and was much better off

She and William loved to garden together, and always planted new flowerbeds in the palace garden every spring

William proposed when he was 22 and she was 21

Obviously she said yes, but they had to keep it hidden from her mother, who would likely take William away

Luckily for them, Angelina I died a month after he proposed, and the two were quickly married.

Yakko:

Yakko was born 10 months after their wedding

Angelina fell in love instantly, declaring him to be the cutest baby she had ever seen

She's terrible with names, and never named her children until after they were born

She hated the idea of giving him a really long and convoluted name, or a name that was in her family (like Harold the 9th)

And so Yakko it was

She didn't expect motherhood to be so exhausting, but hearing Yakko's laugh for the first time made everything worth it to her

Yakko began babbling at a younger age than most, and he babbled constantly, even in his sleep. Angelina loved to just sit and listen to him try to tell stories in nonsense baby language

However, Yakko seemed to have a preference for hearing William give the bedtime stories, as when she tried to read he got fussy

Once he was able to explain he said "daddo does the voices" and that he preferred her lullabies anyway

It hurt at first, but she understood. William was an excellent story teller, though he did have a tendency to ramble at times

Yakko's favorite story was of how they met

She's very protective, and if he was sick or hurt, she'd never leave his side

Her hair used to be very, very long but once Yakko was able to grab things and kept yanking her hair, she chopped it all off and has kept it short ever since

Wakko:

Wakko didn’t cry or breathe when he was born, so for the first moments of his life, Angelina and William feared he was dead

He wasn’t dead though, and they rejoiced greatly, and cried a lot

Angelina refused to let go of him though, and they were only able to get Wakko away from her when she fell asleep from exhaustion

After about a week or so, she relaxed more, but she needless to say her protectiveness went to new heights

“Lena, Yakko slept in a crib all the time, it’s fine-” “How do you know that?” “Lena, I was there.”

William did always have a way to reassure her though

However, the extra layer of protectiveness was kinda needed for Wakko, as he loved to bite and chew on everything and anything he could get his little hands on (including his own tail)

She eventually gained what William described as a “sixth sense” where she could just tell when Wakko put something he wasn’t supposed to in his mouth.

Wakko didn’t talk much when he was young, especially when compared to Yakko, though his brother seemed to get him to talk even more than his parents could

They didn’t mind though, whatever worked, worked

Wakko loved following Yakko everywhere he went the moment he could crawl. Angelina thought it was adorable.

Wakko had a tendency to hurt himself a lot (whether by tripping, crashing, bitting his tail too hard, etc.) which forced Angelina to learn that he’ll be okay, and not to overreact or panic, as he was most certainly not made of glass

Angelina had a tendency to be a worry-wart

Dot:

Angelina became pregnant with Dot right before tensions with Ticktockia started to rise, but William was determined not to let that ruin their optimism about having another child that was hopefully a girl

Angelina really wanted a girl bc Yakko and Wakko didn’t like dressing up and she really hoped a girl would, though she knew there wasn’t ever a guarantee, but she hoped

Angelina went into labor in the middle of a meeting with an ambassador from Ticktockia, but forced herself to finish it bc she ain’t a quitter

Despite Dot being her third child, she took the longest to actually deliver (two days), likely due to the exhaustion from countless meetings with Ambassadors and the stress of trying to avoid war bc King Salazar decided past treaties suddenly didn’t mean anything

Angelina had originally been against giving her her name, as she still associated it with her mother, but William said that he only thought of her, and that she was a much better mother and person than Angelina I could’ve ever been, which changed her mind.

However, she had thought of the name Dot before she was born, and liked it to so she and William agreed they’d just call her that for short, and if you asked them “how is Dot short for Princess Angelina blah blah blah the Third, they’d reply “it just is”)

Though she wouldn’t tell Yakko or Wakko, Dot was most certainly the cutest baby of them all

Wakko and Yakko loved to just... stand over Dot’s crib and watch her do things

Wakko also didn’t grasp what a baby was, and would often try to make her do things, and when she wouldn’t he’d get upset and Angelina or William would have to explain why she can’t play with him with the toy soldiers

She’d often just ramble on and on to Dot as she slept while William watched the boys, talking about the new treaties going up, and how worried she was about what Salazar would do if he didn’t agree with the new treaties and deals. It made her feel better.

To also ease her worries, she taught Yakko how to take care of his sister. How to burp her, how to change her, how to give her a bath, etc. She hated thinking about what could possibly happen, but knowing they’d survive somehow made her feel much better.

Dot was three months old when the attack happened, and Angelina wished she had had more time with her before dying.

Misc. (bc I refuse to end on a bad/depressing note)

She had family portraits made after each of her kids were born bc she wanted to always remember how cute of babies they were

Her lullabies worked like magic in terms of getting the three of them to sleep

If you asked her, she thinks Yakko has her eyes, Wakko has her nose, and Dot has her eyes and face shape

In the space between her mother dying and their wedding, she met Hello Nurse, who was a childhood friend of William’s, and they hit it off quite well- so much so that Angelina offered her a job in the castle, but she refused, saying she had plans with some doctor in Acme Falls, which Angelina respected.

She one time tried to practice knitting in hopes of knitting the kiddos a blanket, but she was t e r r i b l e at it, and gave up after a week of trying

William and her liked to throw balls at least once a year, and everyone agreed they were the best dancers out there (what they didn’t know was how much practice Angelina had to put in to get a sense of rhythm- she was a terrible dancer, and William’s natural grace when dancing far exceeded her own)

Despite others protesting, Angelina always suspected that the reason tension was growing with Ticktockia was because Salazar was jealous and upset that she married some random knight rather than him (a theory that was proven right to her right before her death)

Her favorite food was bananas

William was a huge cuddler, so they’d cuddle close every night

she personally tutored Yakko on things like history and geography, as she felt those tended to be the most boring classes, and she wanted to have some part in his education, as she hated all of her teachers when she was a kid

She often didn’t know when to shut up, which did end up costing her in the end, but she didn’t regret a single word she said before her death, as Salazar deserved every bit of it.

#animaniacs #queen angelina warner #king william warner #wakko's wish #animaniacs fics #long post #headcanons #queen angelina ii #if you can't tell i'm in love with her #not even joking #dksfl;asjdl #I have a lot of thoughts lol #a lot of these could easily be fics #and I do want to write them lol #so seriously don't hesitate to ask

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gunmetal-ring · 3 years

Text

Every single day I grow more and more confident that caryl will be canon and every episode so far that has featured one of them even with Leah (ESPECIALLY the ones with leah) has only served to reinforce it and the ONLY thing that makes me think otherwise are spoilers that are intentionally misguiding and shit-stirring and that says a lot about both my anxiety/investment in this stupid zombie TV show and how absolutely certain we should be that caryl will be canon.

Think about it - that spoiler about the last episode couldn't have been more out of context, deliberately making us worry about Daryl possibly actually falling for Leah, and the episode couldn't have been more obvious that Daryl was trying to convince Leah and Carver that he was Part Of The Reaper Team + distract them from the fact that Team Family was hiding right below them and sneakily escaping. He said it right after Carver referenced how badly Daryl and Leah's relationship ended. Daryl didn't just blurt it out in the heat of the moment or a private almost-kiss or a desperate on-his-knees plea or any other romantic trope - it was literally part of a conversation about whether or not the Reapers should trust Daryl's intentions, and he hopped on the first chance he could get to defend himself.

All this to say... any spoilers about Carol and Zeke coming up are a complete and total non-issue. She left him, remember? The two of them acknowledged that their marriage was rocky and largely rooted in their love for Henry (at least on Carol's end). Of course she's going to hug him or be friendly and caring or kind or whatever - the last time she saw him he was diagnosed and visibly suffering from a (as of yet, we'll see how Commonwealth handles it) incurable, fatal disease. There was never any guarantee that he'd survive the trip to Eugene's girlfriend's camp, either - walkers galore and possible savior-esque murderers and whatnot. They were married for six years, of course they're going to hug or whatever, she still cares about him. And she's not a mean, callous person.

Whatever other spoilers come out for the rest of the season - we. always. need. context. I said before that if Daryl verbatim says "I've always loved you let's get back together forever" to Leah and have sex afterwards, I'd STILL be confident that caryl is endgame. Sure, out of context it's alarming, but so far the show literally could not be clearer that Daryl is lying his ass off and manipulating Leah into trusting him, and using their history against her because he knows it's her weakness. Not exactly what a guy in love does, hmm? (Not to mention... he's never and would never do that to Carol ahem)

Zeke and Carol need closure. A single desperate end-of-the-world we're-going-to-die let's-get-a-modicum-of-comfort-where-we-can-and-also-distract-from-the-fact-that-Daryl-might-hate-me depressed lonely fuck last season is not closure, despite the fact that Carol very obviously rocked zekes world lol (and she didn't look particularly impressed lol). Carol is in a much better head space now than she was when she Slept With The Ex (trope alert) and can officially close the Kingdom chapter so that it doesn't weigh on her when she and Daryl ride off into the sunset. Because remember, the spin off is apparently a completely different tone, meaning that the core of the show almost certainly won't be Daryl's guilt/self-loathing for not saving everybody and Carol's guilt/self-loathing for being an emotional burden and hurting people in her quest for vengeance and killing Lizzie (bc if this isn't addressed ever I will lose my shit)

Caryl is endgame and that's that on that!

#caryl #op #caryl is endgame #caryl positivity

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cosmicmoved · 3 years

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FORMAL INTRODUCTION FOR KITAHARA KOJIRO

hi, for some bizarre reason unbeknownst to even me, this muse has been like half a year in the making (actually, it’s been 5 months but that’s close enough for to still feel shame), but he’s finally here. the ““ evil ”” witch oc! witch man who does murders! whatever you want to know him as! anyway, from now on you just know him as kojiro or koj bc that’s his name <3 please look under the read more link for more info! (WARNING: the following will touch on darker themes like death, murder and, to a lesser extent, abuse. this is a heavy character so please keep that in mind if you ever wish to interact!)

BASIC FACTS

firstly, this oc is mostly connected to tsukidate sho, my witch detective oc. the connection mostly lies in the fact they’re both witches who interact with crime/murder in some capacity but their families are also close.

his name is kitahara kojiro ( 北原浩二郎 ), known as either kojiro or koji by those around him. i haven’t decided his exact birthday yet but he was born in 1990 and is approx. 31 years old. (i understand this is ‘older’ by tumblr rp standards but, by normal people standards, early 30s is still relatively young so basically, if u make old ppl jokes, i will bite u)

technically speaking, kitahara is his father’s surname but he never really knew his father and was raised by a single mother. however, his mother made the choice of raising him with his father’s name in an attempt to distance the pair from her own family. i’ll explain why that is the case in the backstory section of this post.

kojiro is a witch. he’s not involved in any broader witching community nor does his being a witch have much bearing on his professional life but he is a talented witch, despite being trained only by his mother. what he DOES use his magic for, however, is to cause a lot of problems.

oh yeah, he’s also cursed. and he kills people. because he’s cursed. again, i’ll explain this in more detail further in the post but it’s kind of an important fact. he was cursed to die at twenty years old and he’s still alive eleven years later because the only way to hold off death is to kill other people <3 omg that’s awkward

in his normal everyday life, kojiro works as a cake decorator and does photography on the side too. he’s a creative person and tbh he developed a lot of stupid hobbies in his teens, thanks to the belief he was gonna die by the end of them, so he ended up making a living out of what he liked. he also didn’t go to uni because he didn’t see the point because, again, he thought he’d be dead by 20 and then, when he wasn’t, he stopped caring.

it’s also important to note that he, uh, doesn’t give off murderer vibes at all. he’s friendly and sociable (and not in the ‘this guy’s definitely a weirdo’ way).

i kept calling him ‘evil witch oc’ while i was working on him but, as i’ve said before, i think that’s actually a little too simple and i wouldn’t actually call him evil. he’s NOT a good person but i don’t think evil is the right word for him either. he doesn’t believe he’s a good person either but he’s learned to justify his own actions as a means of survival. kojiro doesn’t enjoy killing people, he doesn’t take any pleasure from the act of murder, but he’s also relatively calm about it too. since he doesn’t have to do it on a super regular basis, he prefers to target shitty people and esp corrupt witches in positions of authority (not really in a self-righteous way, more just because they piss him off). he has specific personal reasons for this.

he has a pretty intense fear of death. you think he’d be over it, having spent his whole life knowing he was meant to die early, but the ability to push his death back sort of flipped some switch in his head and, over the years, he went from quiet apprehension to paranoid obsession.

why is this muse 30 years old? firstly, because i want him to be. that would probably be enough but also his age actually IS important. the vibe i’m going for with this muse is, as i’ve said like once before, is what happens to the hero of the story after they complete their quest? what if that quest doesn’t go as planned? kojiro’s quest was to hunt down the demon associated with his curse. that’s his original ‘story’. what i want to explore here is the aftermath of that, what happens after the weight of the quest comes crashing down on the hero and they return to normal, everyday life where they’re forced to shoulder it as though it’s nothing. a decade after his initial story, he’s worn out. he’s not the same person he was at the start.

BACKSTORY

this isn’t going to be written in a super formal or tidy way because i honestly just can’t be bothered turning this into a proper piece of decent writing. this is only going to be in paragraph form because i don’t like putting backstories into bullet points unless it’s super brief.

kojiro was born in 1990 as the first (and only) child of his unmarried mother (as yet unnamed) when she was just nineteen years old. she was raised in a strict and traditional witching family so the fact that she’d had this child out of wedlock AND that the father wasn’t a witch didn’t exactly land well. regardless, they let her stay in the family home but it would soon turn out that the child was cursed. according to a member of tsukidate family (i.e; sho’s family who, as i said before, are on good terms with kojiro’s family and who are also knowledgeable in the realm of curses), the curse determined that the child would die on the day of his twentieth birthday unless he was able to kill the demon associated with the curse.

as if the judgement from her own family wasn’t enough, the curse brought with it a lot of stigma from the witching community and so his mother made the decision to leave home by herself when kojiro was a year old. all she could afford was a small, one bedroom apartment but, so long as she and her son had a roof over their heads, anything was good enough. kojiro would live a relatively normal life, going to school with other children his age and away from other witches, but his mother would teach him what she knew. although she wanted to him to live as easily as possible, she felt she had to prepare him for his inevitable encounter with the demon. kojiro grew up knowing about the curse too. there was no way to keep it a secret --- even if weren’t cruel to hide it from him, the curse had left a visible mark on him (still working out the details of what this looks like and where on his body it is but it basically looks like a tattoo to most people).

when kojiro turns eighteen, he decides he’s old enough to face this demon and claim control of his own life (maybe i’ll write this as an actual drabble / piece of writing one day bc i’m reeeally brushing over it here). it had been trapped by his family and forced to lie dormant until kojiro would arrive to take it down. what the demon reveals to him, however, changes everything. there is no cure to this curse, the demon tells him, everything he was told is a lie. the curse, it turns out, has tied the demon to him and the only way to kill the demon is for kojiro to die along with it. the reveal is this: when kojiro born, they took him from his mother for a short time. i want to emphasise that her family are pretty shitty people because they decided this would be the perfect opportunity both to punish her and to solve a very specific problem -- getting rid of this demon. the same member of the tsukidate who ‘diagnosed’ the curse was the one who put it on kojiro. i’ll explain the actual curse and story behind it (and the demon) in more detail at a later date but the basic gist of it is that kojiro’s family lied to him and used him as a disposable means to an end. his mother, for the record, was entirely unaware of this. but what else does the demon tell him? although the curse cannot be lifted, it can be held off. this demon thrives off death and, through death, it can stay strong and continue to keep kojiro alive. if it grows weak and it is not sustained, kojiro will grow weak along with it and inevitably die. kojiro informs the demon that he will not kill anybody. that is out of the question.

a month before his twentieth birthday, kojiro kills a man. he had tried to forget about everything the demon had said, tried to forget that his own family had set him up for guaranteed destruction, but it hadn’t been easy. it had set him on edge and he’d become unstable. he’d fallen into a slump and his friends grew worried for him. yet, after a while, he came to accept it and tried to make peace with his life as it was. he put it to the back of his mind as best he could. but he’d discovered that the man his mother had been seeing over the past few years since he’d moved out to live on his own was abusive. so he killed him. everything the demon had told him risen to the surface and he’d asked himself does it matter if this guy dies instead of me? after all, kojiro was curious. he didn’t really want to die and he had wondered if the demon was telling the truth. to this day, kojiro doesn’t know what to believe but it’s much too late for all that now. he followed his mother’s boyfriend home and broke his neck in a dark alleyway. thanks to the magic he’d been taught growing up, he was able to ensure that nobody every traced him to the accident and, when the clock struck midnight on his twentieth birthday, kojiro broke down crying with relief.

he wasn’t dead. he still isn’t dead. he’d never wanted to die. over the years, the killing has gotten a lot easier. over the years, the answer to that question comes much quicker; if somebody has to die, why should it be me?

#« 𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 (ᴋᴏᴊɪʀᴏ) » / 「 headcanon. 」#blood //#FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #anyway this might.....idk this might suck i literally cannot tell #i can't write shit w/horror elements bc i'm like 'oooh nooo what if ppl think i'm being Edgy'#but backstory and murder aside....he really isn't an edgy character #the lore also needs work but i'll talk about that in more detail later #this post is literally long enough as is

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wclsh-a · 4 years

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CHARACTER STUDY META.

so, this is mostly a post for my followers who aren’t familiar with twd / shane walsh, and are wondering what kind of character he is. please note that i’m writing this based on how i personally view shane, so some of this might not be actual canon, although i try my best to stick to canon as closely as possible. however, even if you are familiar with shane as a character, i’m hoping this post will give a bit of an idea of how i write shane. anyway... putting this under a read more bc it got kinda long

alright, let me talk about my portrayal of shane walsh for a moment. shane is a guy who starts out being neither entirely good nor entirely bad. i feel like when it comes to shane, a lot of people see him as either or, but what i love about the walking dead is that most of the characters aren’t just all ‘good’ or all ‘bad’. the so-called “good guys” of the series actually do bad things at times, and the “bad guys” of the series actually do good things at times, or at the very least comes off as good at some point or another.

and with shane, he kind of goes through a change throughout the first two seasons. he starts off more on the scale of a “good guy sometimes doing bad things,” but as the series goes on, things gets more and more blurred for him to the point where he ends up more as a “bad guy sometimes doing good things.” i’m not going to go into too much details about what brings about this change, but tl;dr; after believing his best friend, rick, was dead, shane fell in love with and entered a relationship with rick’s wife, lori, and after rick turned out to be alive, lori left shane for rick, while rick basically took over the leadership of the group that shane had been leading and kept safe up until then, and so shane started to blame rick for putting their group in danger and people in their group getting hurt and killed from rick’s decisions (or at least shane sees it as rick’s decision making being the fault,) and shane also struggled to accept and come to terms with how lori was suddenly treating him like he had only been hurtful to her and carl and acted like she never even cared about him to begin with and told him to stay away from them, etc.

.... anyway.... that whole thing’s a mess so i’m not gonna go into that any more in this post.

from before the outbreak, all the way up to when rick came to the atlanta camp, and even a little after rick showed up, shane was shown as someone who cared about people and their safety. some might disagree here, and bring up scenes like where shane refuses to go after and help the people in their group who got stuck in the city as shane not really caring. but when you look at it, the people in the group that was still in camp with shane, was people who either a) was old b) didn’t know how to use a gun / how to fight c) got frightened / terrified / panicked at the sight of walkers and / or d) were just kids. to take any of them into the city where they knew walkers were in large herds in an attempt to save the others? to shane, that seemed more like sentencing them all to death. shane also knew that those in their group who was in trouble in the city was more equipped to handle themselves and had a better chance at figuring out a way to save themselves, and also since shane and the others weren’t able to stay in contact with them over the radio due to poor reception, shane had no guarantee that they would even stay where they were by the time shane and the others could’ve reached them if they did try to go after them. all in all, shane had plenty of reasons to not try to help them, and no reason aside from it ‘being the right thing to do’ to try to help them.

it’s not that he didn’t care or didn’t wish he could help. to him, it just wasn’t worth the risk.

some examples that he did care about others than himself, is how he selflessly put his life at risk to try to help his best friend, rick, who was in a coma at the hospital during the outbreak, and, when he realized there was nothing he could do, he still put a bed against the door to the room rick was in, in a desperate last hope of a miracle that rick could somehow survive. another example, is how shane looked after carol and sophia, even more so after noticing how carol’s husband abused his wife. he always made sure to check up on them, and when carol apologized on behalf of her husband for something her husband did, shane assured her she had nothing to apologize for. and when he finally caught ed in the actual act of trying to abuse his wife, shane intervened and brutally beat him up, warning him to never lay a hand on anyone again. another example is how he looked after jim when he had a sunstroke, making sure he stayed in the shadow, and got enough water and was able to cool down, and when jim got bit, how shane was one of the people who expressed that he didn’t want to kill him and that it didn’t feel right leaving him behind even though jim had asked for it himself.

one thing i’ve noticed is that shane constantly talks about his disapproval when it comes to taking risks that puts the group’s safety at jeopardy, and i mean, if he truly didn’t care, he wouldn’t constantly worry about putting the group’s safety at risk.

that being said...

he also has a lot of flaws and issues.

shane has a mindset where he thinks he’s always right, and struggles to understand other people’s opinions if they’re at odds with his own, even after hearing them out. this goes back to even before the outbreak, but it wasn’t as noticeable back then as post outbreak, as he was more willing to “agree to disagree” in order to maintain the peace, because back then, disagreements rarely meant the difference between life and death, so he could live with swallowing his own pride more easily because it rarely came at much of a cost, whereas decisions after the outbreak often did...

this mentality, especially on top of his strong desire to keep the group safe, can quickly bring out a lot more negative sides to shane when people start disagreeing with him. best case scenario, he’ll think you’re just a naive idiot who he doesn’t much care for or care to listen to (this is usually the case if he thinks you don’t have much influence / power over the rest of the group, like with dale.) worst case scenario, he’ll look at you as a great danger to the group, one that needs to be dealt with to keep the rest of the group safe (this is usually the case if you are in a leadership position, like with rick.) either way, people disagreeing with him can quickly lead to shane becoming frustrated, hotheaded, etc, especially after rick takes over leadership of the group and he starts to feel everyone shift towards supporting rick and no longer listening to anything shane has to say.

also, while shane wants to keep the group safe, he is not always a person you can rely on if you ever get yourself in a pinch. in fact, chances are he’s not going to be willing to risk himself or others to come back for you, unless there’s a really goddamn good chance of success or at the very least a really low risk for others getting hurt / killed. and even then, he’ll be hesitant about it.

he has also proven to be willing to sacrifice a good, decent person to save himself and someone in his own group, as proven when a man not in their group, named otis, accidentally shot rick’s son, carl, and carl ended up needing medical supplies to survive. so when shane and otis went out to get said supplies, and got crowded by a herd as they tried to leave, otis rescued shane, however shane ended up shooting otis in the leg to draw the herd to otis, giving himself an opening to save himself and get the supplies back to carl. he didn’t take any pleasure in doing it, and struggled with it afterwards, but he justified it to himself by the fact that sacrificing otis had ensured that shane had managed to get back with the supplies and thus saving the kid.

shane also has a whole bunch of other issues that are connected to his dynamics with rick and with lori, which includes an obsession with lori, jealousy of rick and lori’s relationship, a growing hatred / resentment towards rick ( partially because of said jealousy, but also partially because he genuinely thinks that while rick has good intentions, he is a danger to the group, especially since the group seems to blindly put their faith in rick and has stopped listening to shane at all.) but that’s a whole different story and this post is already getting too long, rip

#/ i need a hc / chara study tag rip.#/ i feel like i just gave up halfway through writing this and the flaws part of this post is just a mess but whatever #/ i spent too long on this to just not post it lol

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dxntloseurhead · 5 years

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SIX HIGHLIGHTS 11/09/2019 EDMONTON

these won't be completely in order bc ill think of different things as i go

also sorry this is late

- costumes!!! shoes!!! sparkly!!! - THERES A SELFIE WALL OUTSIDE THE THEATRE - oh my god the EYE CONTACT and the INTERACTION i was not prepared for that - that moment when you're in the theatre and you're sitting there and you realize oh my god this isn't a dream im actually right here - the stage was SO CLOSE oh my god the queens were literally right in front of us my gay heart couldn't handle it - i said this already but literally almost the entirety of ex wives (and later in the show but mainly ex wives) there was SO MUCH EYE CONTACT - "remember us from pbs?" - sam did a britney voice on “k-howard is here and the fun’s begun” and i,,,,, - sorry i don’t have much to say about no way other than it Slaps - andrea’s boleyn is the most Babey and i stand by that. - during dluh after "he doesn't wanna bang you, somebody hang you!" aragon stormed off to bessie and started complaining, and bessie just proceeded to shrug - literally in that moment bessie was the real version of the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoji - “wait! what was i meant to do?” ACTUAL CUTIE ANDREA MACASAET EVERYONE - andrea does a voice that sounds like crytyping out loud on “i’m sorry not sorry ‘bout what i said” at the end of the second chorus - also “I’M NOT SORRY!” at the end,,, beautiful - MALLORY'S. PERFORMANCE. AS. SEYMOUR. I. NEARLY. CRIED. SHE'S SO GOOD. - howard looked so genuinely upset during the song like she was super affected by it - haus of holbein is hilarious live oh my god - THE LADIES IN WAITING DIDNT HAVE RUFFS(?) BUT THEY DID HAVE SUNGLASSES I- - sam adjusted her sunglasses downwards and looked over them at some point i don't remember exactly which line (i think it was "at least your complexion will bring all the boys in"?) and oh my GOD i wasn't ready - also sam sang the line “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” and its like the only line in the song that isnt in a german accent. instead, she sounded like a stereotypical commercial saleswoman and it KILLED ME - oh!!! anna and sam respectively were the other possible matches before anna in the tinder parody portion - get down????????? even more of a bop - the length of the pause after “as he takes my fur”... it literally lasted like half a minute before they resumed the song and the audience kept cheering and laughing while the queens were like “?????????” - WHEN BRITT DID THE OPERA THING I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT I WAS STILL SHOOK - she asked a group of three on the other side of the front row to dance and did they EVER (but then after she was like "this is MY song") - “so that’s one horse out of the race!” “rude.” - MALLORY’S BABY MARY BIT KILLED ME OH MY GOD IT WAS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY - “babes! who’s that again?” “uh, i think she was the least relevant catherine.” “ohhhh, i still don’t care.” - in her speech roasting the other queens before aywd, howard says "hot" instead of "fit" just in case you wanted to know! - speaking of that speech i l o v e d it so much - also “and surviving.” is directed to both cleves and parr - i knew aywd was intense but goddamn i wasn't ready i almost cried for a second time - during about the third chorus or so, howard started to look so tired and was less and less enthusiastic with the choreo - i knew about the pink light after the song but damn that hit hard also it looks cool as fuck - *long pause* “...and then i was beheaded.” - “i’m sorry, were you not listening to my song? there were four choruses. that’s how much sh- i had to deal with!” - the queens all talk over each other making fun of parr after the “i’m catherine parr and i draw the line in arbitrary places” line. - “i know, gold star for cathy parr.” - “yeah, tudor womanhood. would recommend!” - oh my god idnyl was sooooo good i love anna’s voice its so pretty - THE WAY SHE SANG “it’s what i have to do” OH MY G O D - also “darling get a clue!” - the entire “remember that i was a writer” part as well as the way she sings “we all disappear”... yes, just yes - late comment but i love anna’s parr hair, it’s not the usual parr hair and it looks so good on her - “okay, why does anyone know who we are?” “my sixth finger!” “put it away, babe.” - “we don’t know!” “catherine de valois- i mean we don’t know!” - “and get down like it’s 1499.” - “the dissolution of the monasteries, yes!” “no.” - such a long pause before the “fake competition” part just before the idnyl remix... - “awwww, we could’ve done that as a song!” - god their voices all just go together so well,,, - anna’s “WE DON’T NEED YOUR LOVE!” is so great - “edmonton, we have a voice!” *beat* “we said, we have a *riffs incredibly* VOICE!” - “his religious reforms?” “well actually-” “now’s not the time, catherine!” - the slow beginning of six is so pretty...... why didnt they do it like this on the album - “yeah! aragon, you wanna go first?” “well girl, i guess i could for a change” - the queens hyping up cleves before her verse has always been my favourite thing seriously it’s so cute - the way sam sang “and all i do is SIIIIING”,,,,,,,, i love her - the irony of “before we drop the curtain” considering the curtain literally gets pulled down at the beginning of the show - THE CONFETTI POP AT THE END OF SIX SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME BUT IT WAS AMAZING also i collected confetti off the floor after - still in love with how the LIW play the outro to six at the end of megasix - ANDREA!!! HUGGED!!! ME!!! we gave britt an envelope with bracelets for each of the queens and a letter and she took it to andrea after and later i went to get another picture (bc we missed getting a picture with andrea at first) and she was like "were you the one who gave us the envelope?? can i hug you??" I NEARLY CRIED - i got pictures with and signatures from all of the performing queens! my stepdad also got pictures with them as well as autographs on his jersey - god the show was so good and mallory seymour is AMAZING

okay that’s all i really have to say, there’s so much more but its hard to summarize an entire show in one post

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polzkadotz · 4 years

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Asas reread their fics - ftayc - part 4

And we’re back to rereading this fic!!!! last chapter i reread was the 7k monster of chapter 3, and this one... oh. Oh, this is also 7k?

wowie

if you want a spoiler to interest you, here we go lmao

we begin with this author’s note bc I don’t think I ever really talked about it here on my tumblr???

It was sort of my first time being recommended, really. I had noticed that my hit count had gone up substantially and I couldn’t understand it, but it was nice??? and then i found the post on the library and I was like Oh. I See.

Whoever it was that recommended me, thank you. Seriously.

But enough mushy-wushy, let’s tackle this giant.

We begin with this exchange, which...

I was trying to be funny and this still makes me smile so at least I amuse myself lmao

Neil needs to free himself of the plot device I pulled out of nowhere and he taps into his reserves of power that he has hid away for, basically, forever. One thing that I wish I had made more clear, which was basically the vitriol going through my mind as I wrote this fic, was that Neil had been cutting himself of his powers and how powerful he was for a fucking long time because

1) he bought into his mom’s reasoning that his father was simply Not Someone They Could Face and Win

2) he had made himself fit into a mold that would “make him survive” but, by doing so, he basically chained himself to a fraction of the three-dimensional person he used to be, which made meeting Jean and finding out that he had become a pet god for a human even worse because Neil could see all the ways they were similar but Neil had been doing that shit to himself voluntarily.

Originally, when I thought about making Neil a god in this fic, I did think about modeling him out of an existing god but also, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to make him be someone who was struggling with letting himself be what he was with his full-potential. Someone who had been cutting himself back for so long he had basically lost whatever sense of personhood he used to have. Someone who had started to get tired of cutting parts of himself and forgetting what he used to be so he would survive for--

What? Survive for what? Neil eventually realized he hadn’t been a person for too long and as long as his father was alive, he would never feel safe to be.

Now that I think about it, Neil was very much me working through my own shit about trying to live as myself at the same time that I had different versions of past me struggling with the person I was becoming. The person I wanted to be.

Anyway, back to the story.

There’s a throwaway paragraph where I sort of tease that Andrew’s dragon is becoming "hungry” and it was basically me trying very hard to foreshadow that the priest thing was going to happen lmao

After battling for two paragraphs against the thought of creating a new priest, Neil gets them back on track to go as far away as its possible for both dragons flying.

Nicky tries to get Neil to talk about the god thing, and I like how I made it clear that even being reminded that he had been a god was something conflicting to Neil.

And then we get to the part where Neil suddenly remembers that he has a lot more money than what he had previously said in the first few chapters, but who cares about plot consistency, am I right? Does it show that this fic was edited hastily? Because I can guarantee that it was :3

They stop in Mumbai, I think (the place is not important for past Asas and honestly... can’t say that’s changed lol). Nicky tries to get Neil to talk more about being immortal and stuff. Neil gives a bit of backstory, as a treat, and Kevin reveals what he knows, as a threat I guess lmao

I kind of imply that Neil only had one priest, which... I remember is not what I put in the sequel.............. so I do recommend you reread your fics before writing a new piece, wink-wink

OH MY GOD I MADE NICKY ASK WHY NEIL’S ENGLISH “WASN’T WEIRD” AND THEN I REPLIED WITH A SENTENCE THAT WAS BASICALLY STRUCTURED WITH PORTUGUESE GRAMMAR AND SOUNDS VERY WRONG IN ENGLISH

Asas... my god, Asas.

Anyway, after a lot of questioning, they eventually go to sleep and, when Neil wakes up from a nightmare, he has his daily fairy tale dose from Andrew, who’s also awake. I gotta be honest, I don’t even remember that fairy tale but it explains the Aaron, Andrew and Tilda.

After everybody wakes up from their naps, they go to their last destination: Tokyo.

Wait lemme check:

when did they leave Mumbai in my story?

when did they reach Tokyo?

yeah, that math totally checks out.

Whatever. As they arrive in Tokyo, Neil splurges even more money on a hotel for the whole crew, even though they had been pretty not nice to him as a whole lmao. But! The boy believed he was going to die, so what was he going to do with all that money?

Nothing, so he programmed an email to be sent to Andrew with the info for some of his bank accounts and fucked off to try and find what his mother had stolen.

Neil gets on a ferry that will take six hours to reach the island where is the volcano that his mother had made him hide his father’s immortality. Neil got nekkid because he wanted to have clothes when he got out of the volcano, you know?

(Also, yes, I’m gonna ignore the other time inconsistency from his travel inside Japan, I was very much pressured by the whole “got recommended on the library” okay, you can judge me through those lenses)

Unfortunately, for him, he wasn’t alone when he finally climbed out of the volcano.

Fortunately for him, this Ichirou Moriyama doesn’t want his father, who is very much interested in becoming immortal, to actually become immortal. Neil explains the whole immortality thingy (I found some typos and honestly? I shan’t fix them. It adds character) and Ichirou subtly kicks Neil’s clothes closer to him, which... I get it, my guy. It’s kind of difficult to have an intimidating conversation when someone’s bits are out and about.

As they are trying to hash out their problem -- as in, Neil’s father told them that Neil’s immortality would be viable to cure Kengo --, Andrew appears blowing his ball of flames onto both of them, and Neil uses his powers to create a pocket that repels the fire, so it doesn’t touch him or Ichirou.

(Why didn’t he use those powers on his clothes, as well? Dunno, don’t poke at my plot too much or it will definitely crumble right into your face, you’re gonna inhale too much dust and die from fandom toxicity, AND THAT’S NO WAY TO REACH A GOOD DEATH)

btw:

Neil, my dude. The dragon thought you were in danger? Chill out???

Neil rages for a few seconds but quickly turns that into a situation to ask Moriyama for his protection against his father, since Neil just technically saved his life.

Oh, and if you think “Uhhh, why would Neil even believe that Ichirou would keep his word?”

Don’t worry, I gotchu:

Ichirou agrees with the deal, for plot reasons. Since he got a deal out of it kind of easily, Neil thinks, “Wait a minute. If I give my father’s immortality to this Moriyama, literally passing the hot potato around, then the Moriyamas won’t be after me for an immortality, my father probably won’t be immortal and come after me as the death machine he used to be and I might be able to use it to free a certain god????”

So Neil uses his father’s immortality to bargain for Jean’s freedom, and he doesn’t wait for Moriyama’s response for that one. He simply hops onto dragon!Andrew’s back and they fly away into the... sunset? Sunrise? Don’t ask me, I clearly can’t keep track of the time passage in my fics.

And this is the end of the chapter!

Let me say something that I hope will be quick: this chapter felt much better written to me then the other three. It’s shaky in places, definitely, and it could’ve gone through a more severe round of editing, but I can certainly feel the positive outcomes of the pressure I felt after my work got a shout-out. This fic had been pretty much geared towards myself, so writing about the world-building wasn’t my focus at all in the other three chapters. In this one, I try to at least explain some concepts I came up with which???? Go me??????

I still wish I had taken the time to work on this entire fic to make it as close to what I had in my head, but in a comprehensive form for the attention that it got, you know? I mean, from the ashes you crawl is still my most everything -- most kudos, hits, comments, bookmarks... It deserved so much better but also... I like that it feels rough? I like that it can clearly help to contrast the growth of my style or whatever?

It was written after a long, long writer’s block, and it only got edited and posted because I decided to participate in an event for a different fandom and it got me excited about writing again.

Anyway, I’ve talked too much. Here’s to hoping I can contain myself in the next posts lmao

#rereading #fic: from the ashes you crawl #fic: ftayc #dragon!andrew #dragon!andrew minyard #god!neil #asas reread their fics #god!neil josten #all for the game #all for the game fic #aftg fics #andrew minyard #neil josten #my fics #tfc fics #my writing

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ramblian · 4 years

Text

Jericho Thoughts

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh

okay so. i’m rewatching jericho. i first watched it sometime around 8th-9th grade, I think maybe somewhere in the first half of 2014. I basically remembered this: the main character was the black sheep of the family, he came back to town, and atomic bombs destroyed most of the US, and the show was about the town dealing with the aftermath. the guy from continuum and one ep of flashpoint played a character i liked named dale (eric knudsen) who liked a popular girl who ended up befriending him, and the asking-for-flowers flashpoint ep guy was the responsible brother. Someone used to be a teacher. The main character looked like Skeet Ulrich, but i didn’t know who that was, just the name.

turns out the main character WAS Skeet Ulrich, and 2 characters (heather and emily) used to be teachers, and i apparently forgot almost all of the major characters. I’ve been rewatching it with the knowledge of which characters die, so that’s good. the show is really good, and it’s really intense. I’m almost done, and it’s tough to keep watching both because it’s so intense and because i know a character i like is about to die tragically.

watching this show makes me so TENSE. i think it really got bad when goetz showed up and i knew bonnie’s death was coming up. i’ve been watching the same episode for like an hour and i started 6 minutes in from another viewing. i don’t know why i’m so stressed. well actually i do it’s because things in this show are AWFUL but i know that no one dies after bonnie.

i also really like that the plot is very much what drives the show. romantic relationships somewhat matter (eric/april/mary, dale/skylar, and stanley/mimi in particular get screentime, while jake’s relationships with emily and heather are there and meaningful but not something that drives the story or gets a lot of attention. dale and eric’s relationships have also been less important in season 2) but they are regularly sidelined while the character deal with the latest crisis. characters have backstories that aren’t always super expanded on, like johnston’s chaotic neutral dad or stanley and bonnie’s parents, because they don’t have a meaningful impact on the plot- how mimi grew up isn’t going to change how the Greens deal with food shortages.

also, i love that it’s a post-apocalyptic show where there’s a lot of fighting and lawlessness and not once have they used rape as a plot device. the closest it ever came to being mentioned was when maggie, a survivor pretending to be military to get towns’ supplies, said that ‘out there, men only want women for one thing’ and that’s IT. i respect that so much. way too many shows and books and movies are like ‘things are bad... and we can only express that through rape’ but this show never does

also the grey morality is very well done in season 1 (the bad guys are clearer in season 2). characters fight and do shitty things because everyone is just trying to survive. Constantino was wrong to start a war with Jericho, but i also understand where he was coming from. Ravenwood ransacked New Bern and left them with almost nothing, and Jericho never bothered to warn them. There were some people considering not honoring the deal to repay the windmills in food. New Bern was on the brink of destruction and Constantino tried to get the resources for survival where he could, by force. The thing with the refugees too. There isn’t really enough food for everyone, and it’s true that Jericho’s been getting a lot of refugees when it’s barely managing to sustain its own population. Some of the refugees have been stealing from them, and sometimes you have to make tricky decisions to survive. But the refugees are also probably going to die if they get sent away, and understandably they cannot accept that. they’ve been stealing food to prepare for this possibility, and they are willing to be violent to secure their place because jericho is much better off than just about anywhere else and they don’t want to die. Roger gets in a fight with Gray and accidentally shoots him, but then actively chooses to hold him at gunpoint and refuse him medical help unless he guarantees the safety of the other refugees. That’s obviously awful- but he’s also trying to protect the lives of the 50 innocent people he brought here. In the end, the refugees get to stay because some Jericho residents volunteer to share their rations, but Roger does not because he obviously committed a terrible crime. He’s not a bad person, but of course he can’t just be forgiven and integrated back into Jericho like nothing happened, and he accepts that and leaves with only a gun from Jake to protect himself because at least the others and emily will be safe.

also that emily and roger’s relationship wasn’t made meaningless in order to further her relationship with jake even despite their history as high school sweethearts.

oh god i just watched the scene where stanley’s talking to bonnie in the morgue and it’s so well done and i’m just in bed crying- not sobbing or anything, but plenty of tears. i don’t know what the last show to make me cry like this was; i’ve been watching so much youtube that i haven’t been watching a lot of hard hitting shows lately i guess. Barry was extremely Fucked Up, that might have made me cry, but it might not have- it had me fucked up for weeks, but i don’t know if i cried.

anyway the scene with stanley and bonnie in the morgue is so good. Stanley talking to her like she’s still alive the way they always did for their parents, and talking to her sign language bc that’s her language. Telling her to say hi to their parents. Letting her know that mimi is still alive, that she succeeded in protecting her, and thanking her for it. Still joking around a little even though he’s obviously heartbroken and just being so genuine with her. Neither of them deserved this.

wow can’t believe heather is a fuckin bootlicker, knowing that the government is extremely corrupt and that she and beck are destroying new bern and choosing to continue to work for that government.

oh beck just has to be some sort of a stupid son of a bitch. absolute goddamn buffoon. siding with the govt, arresting jake in the shadiest way possible in the middle of a crowd, choosing to torture jake (which if he knew a goddamn thing like hawkins did he would know was ineffective), and then thinking that after everything this town and those rangers have done to protect themselves and their loved ones that it was just going to work out for him like the others aren’t going to come for jake immediately and efficiently. i liked beck well enough before but any fondness or respect for him is fucking absolutely gone.

at least eric is really getting to show off his leadership skills now. johnston’s dead, jake’s been arrested/kidnapped, hawkins is busy with other shit. eric’s always one of the second-in-commands but this is one of the few times he’s just plain in command.

“your friends have escalated this to a level i will not tolerate” right but you dragging jake to a fuckin blacksite to torture him was fine???? YOU ESCALATED THIS YOU DUMB STUPID SON OF A BITCH. you have really been given so many chances this season to not serve an evil government and try to protect these people and you’ve failed almost every time, huh? he’d also have to be some sort of an idiot to think that a clearly faked note with jake’s signature saying ‘this bad’ would stop anyone. god i haven’t escalated to hating someone this much so quickly in a long fuckin time.

love how beck is leveraging the entire town of jericho and choosing to oppress them in order to get the rangers to turn themselves in <3 i love punishing innocent people to use them against others just like goetz did last episode <3 what a good guy

i dont know why there are so many beck fics on ao3 because this man fucking sucks. like, can you imagine refusing a whole town food, power, and lights as a bargaining chip, blaming someone else (”don’t forget, you caused this”) and then still thinking you have the moral high ground? incredible mental gymnastics when will beck be in the olympics

heather: your actions are so blatantly terrible that i am just now beginning to consider not defending you to everyone. take responsibility for what you do

beck: hmm. no. my choices are jake’s fault

i know beck is probably going to ‘redeem’ himself by the end of the episode but i don’t fuckin care. too late for him now he can’t just say ‘oops’ and pretend he hasn’t done all of this shit. wild how his actions are now literally being compared to those of nazis during wwii and people still like this guy.

hey do you think beck is an idiot asshole or just pretending to be one for fun

commanding officer: go ahead and destroy everything in the area

beck: 🤔 is killing all those people wrong?

oof rip eric sure is rough when you have to ally with the guy who tortured you and killed your dad to protect ur city but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. also where the hell has dale been? i’ll let it go bc the show isn’t consistent on when he shows up and is a major part of town but in universe it sure is fuckin weird, and you know beck would have dragged him in for questioning too

oh wow beck finally decided to actually try thinking critically and addressing the obvious evidence about cheyenne’s corruption. that makes up for everything and i can stan now /s

‘i’m no longer taking orders from the cheyenne government. i believe it’s corrupt at its core. its actions are criminal’ oh so like everyone’s been telling you this whole time? the actions like the ones you’ve taken, not even at anyone’s command? idiot.

lmao i’m not as opposed to constantino’s methods as the show thinks i’m supposed to be. a revolution against a corrupt, oppressive government is not peaceful. it cannot be. the only good fascist is a dead one.

#jericho #jericho spoilers #in case this shows up in the tags and someone sees it or smthn

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advernia · 4 years

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F and M for the ask game? 😊

reply’s late but thank you for asking, anon! happy new year to you! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

dialogue scenes… (ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ) i skimmed the last 10 fics i posted for this, and i think this wins:

“Though the thrones are numerous and never vacant, the crown still remains unworn.”

i think i’m proud of this bc it was one of my favorite results of thinking about different angles to see the black army’s meritocracy system, haha! i’m awfully fond of thinking about stuff like this… anyway, the beauty of the system is that you base worth on skill and ability, rather than other given factors (wealth, bloodline, etc). in-game, the approach is pretty straightforward: it seems that anyone(?) can claim the title of the chosen thirteen, given that the individual can beat the current titleholder in a fair one-on-one fight. it’s still vague to me and tbh i hope there’s more explaining to this, but this seems to be the case presented in ray’s route……

for the person speaking though, rather than seeing the system as something like champions defending their titles, he sees it as a matter of choice - the black army’s thrones are created by the hands of those who wish to be chosen, not the black army creating the thrones for the chosen… and while the crown does go the strongest soldier, does it belong to the strongest throne? no, not necessarily… and why is that? who decides this?

…. the choice falls onto the soldiers of the black army themselves. if the throne of the strongest soldier doesn’t appeal to the majority and is built on lies, is there a reason for an army to support him? if the throne of the weakest soldier is as weak as his body but as strong as his will, is there a reason for an army to support him? if the throne of the king has been built alongside his fellowmen and its foundation is made of his hard work, is there a reason for an army to support him? it goes on and on, and on………

… thrones are made by choice, but ultimately, it is the army that decides - who chooses - whose throne they will and shall serve.

that is because the soldiers - the black army as a whole - form the crown, and if it is left unworn… it means that there’s yet a throne to fascinate them, or there hasn’t been a throne worthy enough yet to serve in their eyes.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Σ(゜゜) b-b-back burner premises!?!?! got a lot of that…. but two premises have been bugging me for months tho, so here’s one of them!

it’s an ikerev mafia!au, inspired from the game’s actual mafia cards! i saw the posts about them pretty late but still, bless the kind souls who posted those cards bc wOW…. my eyes???????? they have been cleansed + my crops have been watered??????? ( ꒪Д꒪)ノ

i guess it clung to me pretty bad bc 1) i like mafia themes, 2) it reminded me that otomate’s piofiore no banshou is gonna be localized and i’ve been pretty interested in it despite polarizing opinions, and 3) those gacha cards look great???????? i was half expecting cybird to make an event about it lolol!

anyway, here’s my outline about it! excuse the odd formatting, i wrote it to be play-like the day i plotted it out!

…

welcome to cradle, all you ladies and gentlemen gathered here today! here, in this seemingly quaint crescent-shaped city, the citizenry live like they’re dying, so watch your back! always think twice before you act, or else you may end up in a sack!

what’s the reason for that, you ask? well now! you see, here in cradle, families run rampant! and we’re not talking about some happy household kind of family… we’re talking about men, women and children of all ages unafraid to spill blood, if only to protect their families or their families’ interests! are they noble, or simply selfish? are they justified, or simply paranoid? was this for survival, or for profit? all the lines have blurred!

what interests are we talking about, and why exactly has this beautiful city turned this way, you ask? tsk, tsk! you’ll never learn if all you do is question others for answers! so instead, why don’t we look around first? do follow me closely as we observe this place we call cradle, this city that is our stage!

enter stage left!

there goes a raven-haired lad and with him his band of merry men, forming a renegade group that bows down to no family or any other ruling power in cradle (except the government, what model citizens they are!).

it’s been at least three years since the group has entered + made themselves known in cradle, and sometimes the citizens start to think they’re a family, too - they’re the good kind, though!(?) they help the powerless citizens, watch over clueless tourists, assist the government in maintaining order (in their own ways - while they help, they also refuse to be fully bound to the government), and even go as far as keeping tabs on all the families present in cradle!

but why are they here, and why do they do what they do for cradle? it turns out the lad who appears to be their leader is searching for answers about a certain major incident that happened years ago in cradle. not everyone in the group knows about this purpose of his, though - refusing to get the whole group involved in his business, the lad allows only a select few to (grudgingly)assist him in his search for the truth.

one day, things get complicated: unfamiliar men are suddenly after the lad’s head! this was not an unusual occurrence for him or in cradle, but what throws everyone off is that these hitmen are different and dangerous: they’re incredibly skilled, annoyingly hard to brush off, and will do anything to complete their task… and that includes killing themselves off with their own blade / poison / hands once they are defeated / failed their mission.

the lad’s been on the run for three whole months without rest until he finally discovers a lead about his pursuers… deciding that it’s better than nothing, the lad and his trusty men follow this lead… even if it would make things more complicated, because the lead points the way to investigating five certain families in cradle that they’re not too keen in getting involved with at all.

will the lad ever find the answers to both his old and new questions, or will he eventually end up dead? will he ever know why he’s being hunted in the first place and discover who’s after him? where will this lead bring him: who will he meet, who will he trust, what will he do? destiny has quite a lot in store for him and his friends….

enter stage right!

if you cross paths with a beautiful man with hair spun like fine gold threads but with eyes as cold as ice, it would be wise not to offend him - he is the son and the future boss of a highly respectable family in cradle! this family has a long history and is still the leading voice in the council, an organization created by the government that enlists the aid of five special families in maintaining a semblance of balance and order among the many families and powers in cradle (think something like one piece’s shichibukai).

everything is fine and dandy until one day, the son’s father is found dead in cradle’s central square, his mutilated body hung up in the fountain for everyone to see……… naturally, this becomes a very serious issue + hot topic in cradle: who would do such a thing, why a man from the council from all people, and how mad was this person to display a corpse in such a gruesome fashion? so many questions….

but the son has hardly any time to pay attention to such whispers - his family has suffered a grave loss + a blow to their reputation and is now seen as vulnerable, the four other families of the council see an opportunity to claim the power of the leading voice, and there are no leads about his father’s murderer. hardly having any time to mourn, he takes up his father’s mantle and goes about to set things right.

in the short span of four months, he succeeds: he picks his family up again and gives no one any doubt that their family is stable and still not to be underestimated, manages to maintain the position of the leading voice and keeps the greedy hands and prying eyes of the other council members at bay, and also restores the public’s respect for his family.

while he was busy doing all that, he had ordered a handful of his men to search for any clues about his father’s death - it seemed like the search was going nowhere, until one rainy day one of them discover a tattered letter stuffed away haphazardly in an unsuspecting dark alley - it bears the family’s rose seal and a single word is spelt on its surface through messy, bloody fingerprints: jabberwock.

was this some sort of code? did the word actually mean anything to the family, to anyone? was this the name of a family, a person, or the murderer? was this even related to the murder, or a different issue entirely? it’s a pursuit with not much to start with………..

finally, center stage!

enter the algarde, cradle’s “most notorious crime” family. why the quotation marks? simple: despite being a prime suspect in perhaps every crime that happens in cradle, they have never been caught. all evidence against them always happens to be circumstantial and never incriminating enough to pin them to the crime….. how was this even possible????

the algarde is one of the oldest families reigning in cradle, and going against them is a guaranteed swift trip to death. both the government + council have never been able to tame the algarde, nor have they been able to keep proper + regular track of their movements. one thing is really for sure about the algarde, though: once you get directly involved with their business, you might as well start to treasure + be thankful for each day you’re still alive…

their current head is an odd middle-aged man known for his sharp silver eyes - his name is farlan, and he’s really quite charismatic as he is elusive. he’s said to have the whole of cradle dancing on the palm of his hand, but he claims he’s not that influential… what a joke. he’s constantly on the move to find something that amuses him and depending on his mood, the whole of cradle can be subjected to his whims - what a fearsome man!

what role does the algarde family play in this story, you ask? who knows! are they the ones after the lad’s head? do they hold the key to understanding the word jabberwock? better yet - are they responsible for both incidents, or are they shockingly unrelated to them? the plot thickens….

ah, before i forget! you didn’t hear this from me, but it’s said that farlan has a child, of all things! a son or a daughter??? who cares! it’s a joke, a made-up tale on the streets!

………………………………… or is it?

#askdfghjl #i fell asleep while answering this yesTERDAY NYAHA GET REKT #hopefully my answer to question f makes sense??? it sounded better in my head lol #this is one big wall of text aha brick me hi i'm rambly

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gloryblooded · 5 years

Text

with a gif of achilles/austin being a major mood ( i mean, who doesn’t want to nap all the time ? ), i hope to catch your attention & say HELLO ! i’m hanna, i’m 22, and i use she/her pronouns! i’m a hufflepuff, a libra, and ISFJ ( what a shocking combo, i know ). anyway, over here i’ll be playing everyone’s favorite disaster hero, achilles, and his new mortal self, austin pelham. i’m so excited for this group and getting to write & plot with all of you.

anyway, below the cut you’ll find some info about both achilles and austin ! it got kinda lengthy ( especially achilles’ part ) + it’s messily written. sdfsfdsdhsfbh im truly sry about that & pls still love us.

ACHILLES.

disclaimer: i’ve utilized several sources to form my portrayal of achilles, namely the iliad and the song of achilles. i have not read the pjo books, but i googled achilles’ role in it & i’ll incorporate that to my characterization to the best of my abilities.

so, achilles. a son of peleus, a king, and thetis, a nereid. boy was destined for greatness long before he was even conceived; great enough that the gods chose to dilute it by giving thetis to a mortal man. despite this, his destiny was to still become the greatest warrior of his generation. thetis, wanting to further protect him, dipped him in the river styx and boom, the powers of almost complete invulnerability ( except that one heel ) were achilles’.

his childhood was actually quite lonely? sure, he had peleus’ orphan boys to keep him company & plenty of admirers, but there was always a certain distance between them, especially he had separate, private lessons. that is until a certain awkward young prince arrived in peleus’ court. achilles was instantly smitten ( a shoutout to that time when he became that ‘g2g chicken’ meme after their first kiss ) and this feeling just became stronger through the years as they studied under chiron’s tutelage at mount pelion.

AND THAT’S IT. NOTHING HAPPENED AFTER THAT. ACHILLES GOT HIS HAPPY ENDING.

just kidding. unfortunately :sob emoji:

tHEN PARIS HAD TO DO HIS THING AND RUIN ACHILLES’ HAPPINESS ( thanks a lot dude ). the war started and, despite the ordeal with thetis where achilles was yeeted to lycodemes’ court & ended up knocking up deidamia, he was off to fight in the trojan war ( with his emotional support philtatos right by his side ).

during his years there, he does his thing. he fights, kills more trojans and their allies than anyone else, is a great leader to his men, and spends his free time with his boyfriend. also i wanted to add that he was not as hostile toward briseis as he was in tsoa. like, ofc they weren’t as close as patrochilles or pat and bri, but he wasn’t as jealous as implied in tsoa.

anyway, now we’re getting closer to that period of time. stuff goes fairly normally, but then aging meninist ( idk how to spell his name & im too lazy to look it up, but u know who i mean ) decides to dishonor him by unlawfully taking briseis from him. and oh boy, do we get to see achilles’ non-chill side. victim-playing & stubborn spite game is strong af. someone tries to reason with him? he becomes that ‘i suddenly can’t read i don’t know’ gif.

anyway, shit turns bad enough that he eventually, although reluctantly, consents to patroclus donning his armor and leading the myrmidons out there. that obvs ends super badly and achilles, true to himself, reacts even worse. he goes ballistic and even fights a river before he finally gets what he wants --- hector dead. after that, he stops caring. he fights, sure, but every single time he wishes his death would come. death eludes him for a while after that, and when it finally arrives & that arrow lodges itself in his heel, achilles vc: finally some good fucking food.

except sike, not ! his bitchass of a son delays the reunion he’s been yearning for. achilles curses him & 100% disowns him because he dared to disrespect his final wish. bUT EVENTUALLY HIS PERSON ARRIVED AND ACHILLES WAS SO !!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE ALL WAS FINALLY GOOD. achilles got a good dose of positive character development bc he realizes the error of his ways when he was alive, but most importantly, he never had to part with his one true love.

until the gods got themselves into another mess & dragged other, innocent people with them. smh ( uncle sam and/or the gods better square up when achilles regains his memories bc how dare they interrupt his lovely afterlife with pat!!!! )

AUSTIN.

so, enter the man achilles thinks he now is: austin pelham. his full name is austin alexander pelham-niarchos, but for the sake of simplicity, he goes by austin pelham most days. he is the only child of us army general & greek heiress to a shipping empire. not really a happy marriage, but they wouldn’t divorce either. both adored austin, though, so the boy didn’t pay too much attention to his parents’ marital struggles.

austin’s future was laid out from a young age too. he was to follow in his father’s footsteps and become an army official as well, possibly one of the greatest this nation had ever seen. considering his natural athleticism and gift for commanding crowds, it seemed a feasible future path & austin himself accepted it without complaining.

however, he was a mere kid when all this was told to him, so he couldn’t be too bothered. sure, he excelled in school ( his mother insisted he should only attend the best institutions ), but mostly he enjoyed the perks that came with having been born to a lap of such luxury.

contrary to popular belief, austin had basically no true friends; sycophants and other admirers, yes, but no one he truly bonded with. he wouldn’t have minded finding such person, but they never came along & that was fine with austin. he was independent enough to “survive alone.”

so years have gone by, manhattan’s boy king has graduated from harvard with a degree in history, and it’s time for him to join the army, right? sike, no ! austin’s mother had never been particularly enthusiastic about the idea of her son joining the army & possibly getting killed in action, but this is the first time she has a major argument with her husband about it.

before he could do anything about it, she made her move. she used her connections to get him his movie role and manipulated austin by telling him that if he were to abandon his military plans & pursue a career as an actor, he could achieve more fame than he had ever dreamed of. austin, being a trusting person, had no reason to believe otherwise, so he accepted his mother’s offer and began working as an actor.

and what a rise to stardom it was. after his role, he got more and more offers, most of which were action / war films. austin did not mind being known as an action star; those were his favorite type of movies to film anyway. recently he finished filming what is supposed to be next spring’s ( & year’s ) biggest blockbuster and now relocated back to new york city where he plans to stay for a few months at least.

personality wise, i’d say he is most similar to pre-trojan war achilles ( when he’s at mt. pelion & lycodemes’ court ). he still has that certain brand of innocence to him and fairly easy to manipulate if you know where to strike. however, he has earned a reputation of being somewhat challenging to work with ( he knows what he wants / how he wants something done & isn’t afraid to demand this respect ). this hasn’t tamed the constant flow of work offers, though, because a) he has a way with the crowd, so fans love him, b) money is guaranteed due to his large crowd of followers, and c) he always gets the job done when he sets his mind to it. slightly more prone to making bad decisions, since he doesn’t have his impulse control person. austin is often up for a good time, though, and an evening with him won’t be a boring one.

AND THAT’S ABOUT IT, I THINK ! I DON’T YET HAVE A CONNECTIONS PAGE UP, BUT I’LL START WORKING ON IT ASAP. IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, FEEL FREE TO MSG ME BECAUSE I’M UP FOR P MUCH WHATEVER. I’LL DO MY BEST TO COME UP WITH IDEAS MYSELF & MSG YOU LOVELY PEOPLE! ugh im so excited for this group!!

#ohq:intro

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askmyboys · 5 years

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Jasper McFarland

Name: Jasper McFarland | Nicknames/Alias: The Sheriff, Jasper, Jasp, Jaspy, ("The Outlaw" has called him Jaspy before, he fucking hates it) | Gender: Male | Height: 5'8" | Age: 30 | Occupation: Sheriff | Eye Color: Pine Green | Hair Color: Light Brown (his hair would flow if it wasn't for the ponytail/manbun he keeps it up in, you won't see MUCH of it due to his cowboy hat but still) | Appearance: He usually wears the typical Cowboy/Sheriff like clothing, he works waaay too much, always working, always hunting and searching... for the infamous outlaw that is Redmond Blackburn, he HAS to find him, so 99% of the time he's in his work clothes, the other 1% of the time if he wears anything different, it's long sleeved flannels, pants, and some cowboy boots, he doesn't wear ANYthing short sleeved, he's ashamed of all the scars on his body, he's also missing an eye so he usually wears a patch to cover it up, his most prominent scars aside from that are a lot of cuts, bullet wounds, honestly its a wonder he survived some of those considering where the scars are located. He's got a circle beard, and honestly most of the time there's bags under his, well, eye... He's v e r y tired n fed up with not getting anywhere. | Personality: He's become pretty reserved over the years, usually quiet anymore, he used to be so friendly, so chipper, so outgoing but over time, after everything Redmond did to him, his family... It just... got to him, it affected him badly... He's pretty much tired 24/7 bc he works TOO damn much, even if he IS reserved n stuff though, he does still care about people, he tries his damnedest to protect them and their family since... he couldn't protect his own, just hearing Redmond's name seems to piss him off anymore, he DESPISES that man, no... That monster, this isn't about money, fame, etc- this is about revenge and putting an end to this monster's murder spree now. (tl;dr: P reserved n quiet bc of all that's happened, actually used to be very chipper, outgoing and downright welcoming, nowadays he's just tired all the time, a bit snippy with people on occasion, especially the other cops n staff members, he doesn't mean to be, he really doesn't and they all know it, the years and the carnage have really affected this poor man and in the worst way possible, he really is a good person, honest, he's just been through some really bad stuff that fucked him up) | Side Facts: Ya see, Redmond decided to send a lil "message" to the Sheriff, and by msg I mean basically, he sent him a tape of himself p much brutally torturing and murdering the Sheriff's parents, he didn't ask for no ransom money bc he didn't care and the Sheriff knows it, he just did it for what he calls "a good ol' time" he didn't do it for money, for any items, etc- he did it because he's a sick bastard that's all. And ever since that day, the sheriff hasn't been the same, everyone around town and the other cops will tell ya so themselves, that Jasper has changed since Redmond decided to reveal his ugly mug and cause carnage and mayhem around the place, Redmond is one of the most dangerous, one of the most lethal, one of the most wanted criminals that Jasper has EVER got the displeasure of knowing, and everyone else agrees, if you see a most wanted list, well, I guarantee ya that Redmond is gonna be number one on that list. However, the only people brave enough to do anything about it, is the police, the sheriff, etc- the countryfolk, even despite having guns n shit have all become too frightened to even mess with him, even some of the TOUGHEST members around, members that look like they have g a n g s are too afraid, they'll tell ya themselves that they'd n e v e r mess with Redmond, that sonuvabitch is fucking c r a z y, a murderous lunatic.

#new oc #my oc #sheriff oc #Jasper #tw torture mention #tw death mention

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ryanmeft · 6 years

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Alpha Movie Review

I’m always in for any story that gives me a bit of obscure history, no matter how fictional. If that story is going to jump back to prehistoric days in an age when most people seem to think the world began with their birth? And involve an entire invented language for the sake of authenticity? And recreate such a forgotten age with as few concessions to romantic fantasy as possible? Well, it’s going to ring not a few of my nerd bells. If none of that interests you, the movie also has dogs.

In 20,000 BC, in an unrecognizable Europe during the ice age, a group of human hunters approach a herd of bison, slowly, on their stomachs. The bison realize their danger and charge. There is a face-off, and Keda (Kodi Smit-McPhee), son of the tribe’s chief Tau (Johannes Haukur Johannesson), is thrown off a cliff. This shot is inflicted with the curse of slow-motion, and I worried this would be a film that does not have the courage in its shots to present them unadorned. Fortunately, this is one of only two scenes with any kind of unnecessary gimmickry thrown in; most of the movie is stark and direct, as life in those times would have been. Keda survives the initial fall but loses his grip and ends up unconscious on a jutting piece of stone halfway up the sheer cliff face.

Two hundred centuries later, we can get in our cars at the top of such an imposing edifice and be at the bottom 20 minutes later, safe and sound. The film makes it seem like Keda has been thrown into another world. He has. His father and tribe have no choice but to leave him for dead. Johannesson is not in most of the film, but his reaction here is crucial, as the stoic chief, distraught, has to be prevented from suicidally climbing down after his son. Another tribesman comforts him with kindness, assuring him their sons (his had died before the movie began) will walk together in the afterlife. It is an unfortunate tendency of the modern world that we seem to believe it was only recently that people began caring for their families, and that not so long ago children were glorified crop pickers. We can’t know for sure how paleolithic man behaved, but things like caves and graves have yielded proof that social bonds were important. Keda, to this point, has not been great at hunting, and cannot bring himself to kill wounded animals, but there are no cliche villains, insisting they forget about the useless child. They are reluctant to tear Tau away from the cliff face for an entire night.

It’s that sort of heart that lets the film win you over, well before the promised canine connections come into play. On posters, the movie bills itself as an origin story of the buddy system between dogs and humans. It is, of course, likely to be largely fictional in that regard. The boy wakes, high on the cliff, and tries to climb down but ends up dangling with nowhere to go. A torrential rainstorm turns the valley into a temporary river, a regular occurrence in the days before dams, and he is swept in, waking up in an unfamiliar wilderness. Full disclosure: I’m an absolute sucker for things like this. My earliest experience with epics was a video game where the characters are separated and lost multiple times, and I liked Pixar’s The Good DInosaur much more than you did, in part because it involved a character lost somewhere in nowhere. The boy sleeps in trees to avoid predators, and eats insects and plants. It is the stuff of ordinary survival. The camera work of Martin Gschlacht rarely announces itself, letting us vanish into an ancient world rather then reminding us there is a man filming there. And then the wolves come.

Mythology has long fascinated me, and the wolf has probably been a supporting character in more myths, across more of the world, than any other animal. As I watched, my mind began to cast the story into legend. It went something like this: Once, long ago when the mammoth walked and the world was cold, a boy became lost. He was attacked by wolf, but he wounded him. Yet boy did not kill wolf. Boy nursed wolf back to health, and wolf walked with boy, who was now Man. Man and dog have been walking together since. The actual process was probably slow and took many generations of men and wolves, but that’s not as exciting. Keda and the wolf, who he names Alpha, slowly develop a bond. Director Albert Hughes (From Hell, The Book of Eli), who works from his own story, and screenwriter Daniele Sebastian Wiedenhaupt cannot resist nodding at us. Knowing smiles will result when Keda angrily throws a stick at Alpha, and Alpha picks it up. These things take time, though, and many snarls and an attack attempt or two from the wounded wolf.

The movie is patient and, realistically, lacks any place for significant female roles (Natassia Malthe and Leonor Varela have small parts as, respectively, Keda’s mother Rho and a shaman, the latter of which would have been more likely in the days before civilization decided a woman was best silent). This almost guarantees it will not be a financial success in an era when there are only a few ways to effectively market a movie. Alpha bucks all of them; despite the ads making it seem like a studio project, it is an effort that real people wanted to see happen, and believed in. Those there because they love dogs may not care about the craft and detail that went in. If you’re more inclined to do so, notice the people’s clothing. It lacks serious bling, but neither is it a haphazard collection of hides and furs, thrown together. Each layer appears to serve a function. The world, which is really various Canadian and Icelandic locations with a few sets, is so empty and at times still the silence might drive modern man, used to incessant and needless noise, mad. Yet the most astounding technical feat is the creation of a fictional language. There’s not a speck of English or any other modern vocabulary in the film. Instead, the characters speak something based on the languages that eventually diversified into those of Europe and India, constructed by University of British Columbia professor Christine Schreyer. It seems like “Best Invented Language” is a bit too niche to have an Oscar category, but Schreyer’s efforts make a strong case for it. Do not expect cliche grunts and groans from an old caveman cartoon, for every sound uttered sounds like a real word that means something, and patterns are repeated just like a living language, so after a time we stop noticing we’re reading subtitles. Similarly, the characters do not jump up and down or shout as a matter of common practice. You will find no prehistoric cliches in this movie.

The acting comes down, since he is alone except for the wolf for most of the movie, to Smit-Mcphee. None of the previous roles I’ve seen him in have suggested whether he could handle such a subtle and unusual role. He can. Though he has a language to speak, this was long before the days in which men wrote sonnets and novels, and even for a sensitive lad he sticks to the basics: what he needs, where he has to go, that sort of thing. The entire absence of humor or levity among the hunters struck me as odd, since knowing anything about people suggests we’ve always liked a good laugh, but it is a minor quibble. McPhee handles Keda’s journey perfectly. He and Alpha learn to hunt, but at no point does he become someone who kills as second nature. At the end of the journey, he is still himself, but a wiser version of himself. That journey can be appreciated if you simply like dogs. It can be appreciated more if you have fondness for history and myth, and old-fashioned adventure stories.

Verdict: Highly Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts. I suppose you could consider each one as adding a star.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

All images are property of the people what own the movie.

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lichlover · 6 years

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shit shit ok prompts. like. id say feeblemind lup bc!!!! im very excited for it!!! but if you want fluffy ones either. lupcretia with the whole "elves are cats" thing or the ipre with cool socks? (the latter being bc. im wearing socks with bees on them and was like "oh shit this is adeline's lup!!!" so. lup with cool socks is now an Image in my Brain)

happy birthday, love!!! this is on ao3, by the way.

Intuition, Lucretia thinks, is like a dangling participle.

It’s when the sentence is perfectly capitalized and punctuated but doesn’t read as fluidly as it should. It’s when everything looks right, but something is wrong—wrenchingly, glaringly wrong, even though there’s not a word you can think of to describe it. It’s the kind of thing that drives English majors and novelists to the brink of madness. She should know. (She’s been both.)

The last time she’d told someone as such, they’d been incredulous. “That’s a metaphor practically asking to be broken,” they’d said. “Besides, sometimes you just know shit is bad, and it looks bad, and it’s just all bad. The world isn’t always trying to catch you off guard, okay? I’d say that’s a pretty paranoid way of looking at things.”

“It’s a simile,” was all Lucretia had said.

They’d waved her off, laughing.

Lucretia doesn’t feel much like laughing now.

The journey back is, for lack of any better phrasing, absolute hell. Barry offers to take them through the rift—it’ll be faster, he says; easier, and he wants to get them to a safe place as soon as possible—but the instant reality rips itself apart in front of them, Lup digs her nails into Taako’s arm and screams. It’s shrill and deafening and utterly terrified. It’s the worst thing Lucretia’s ever heard.

So they take the Starblaster. Lup refuses to let go of Taako’s arm. Her eyes dart from person to person, evaluating each of them with a sharp, unforgiving stare. When Kravitz goes to sit next to Taako, her ears pull flat against her head and she bares her fangs at him, growling low and deep in her throat. He backs off in a hurry, and Taako swallows hard and tells her that he’s fine, Lulu, for gods’ sake, you know him. She doesn’t seem to care.

Everyone gives them a wide berth after that.

Barry calls them up to the bridge after a heavy ten minutes of silence, and they oblige him because there can’t possibly be anything worse than silence. Davenport is there, of course—he’s perfectly capable of setting the ship to autopilot, as Lucretia and the others well know, but he’s looked a little haunted ever since they departed and they’d all known no amount of convincing would get him to leave the helm. Lucretia sees the hollowness in his eyes and has to choke back something welling up in her throat; whether it’s an apology or a full-on breakdown, she can’t tell. She won’t make him relive something she herself has tried very hard to forget.

“Feeblemind,” says Merle, as soon as the door hisses shut behind them.

None of them had wanted to say it.

Lucretia’s familiar, of course. She’s familiar with too many spells; knows them just well enough to recognize their effects without knowing much else. She’d watched the clever glint drain from Lup’s eyes and figured straightaway, and she’s sure the others had done the same. Perhaps that’s why no one had said anything. Because they’d all known, and knowing was so much worse than saying it aloud.

Feeblemind. The body is left intact (right) but the mind is shattered (wrong, wrong, wrong).

“You can cure it,” Barry says. “You can end it, with—with Greater Restoration, right?”

Merle looks tired. They’re all tired, but he wears it plainly on his face, and always has. “I can do it, but it calls for diamond dust, and this shit gets specific. Gems’ve gotta be at least a hundred GP, and for a full guarantee that this is gonna work, they’ve gotta be cultivated. Specially grown, y’know? This is a delicate spell, and if anything goes wrong, if this gets fucked up—”

“You’re not gonna fuck it up,” says Magnus, and he sounds angry. They’re all angry, Lucretia thinks. Angry and tired—and it almost feels like the old days again. “This is too important.”

“Obviously. So it’s… it’s gonna be a coupla days.”

Barry releases a small, choked noise into his hand. Davenport doesn’t look back from the helm, but he says, “Then we’ll all make her as c-comfortable as we can in the time we have. This isn’t rocket science, people. It—it’ll be over soon.”

There is really nothing worse than silence, but that’s what hangs over their heads for a few agonizing seconds before Angus speaks. He’s sitting at a console, looking thoroughly shaken and, like so many of the adults are, trying his best to hold it together. Lucretia, who’s been holding her expression steadfast since liftoff, can relate.

“This is my fault,” he says, almost quietly enough to be inaudible. “I’m sorry.”

The bridge erupts.

“It’s not your fault, Ango—”

“—nobody thinks that—”

“It’s on me,” says Barry, dropping his hand from his face. “I should’ve had my eye on her.”

Kravitz shakes his head. “Necromancers are tricky bastards. I know that, I should’ve taken extra precautions. Besides, I’ve actually hunted them down before, so if anyone’s to blame—”

“You’re all being selfish,” Lucretia says.

They all look at her but she doesn’t back down, because she’s spent a century with them and their judgment and at this point, she couldn’t possibly care less. “You’re being selfish,” she repeats, and she can hear her voice shaking. “Acting like all of this is your cross to bear. It’s no one’s fault, alright? Something shitty happened, we’re dealing with the consequences like adults. This isn’t the time to be arguing over who gets to be the martyr.”

Nothing but silence can follow an outburst like that, and silence is the last thing Lucretia needs. So she turns on her heel and leaves. She doesn’t stalk or stride or hold her head high because she knows she’s right—in fact, she doesn’t know it in the least.

She doesn’t really know anything anymore.

The first day is a different kind of hell, one built out of frozen dinners and overcrowded guest bedrooms and Barry and Kravitz’s shouting match over who goes with Merle; or, more importantly, who stays.

Lucretia doesn’t catch all of it, but it’s impossible not to hear.

“—so what happens if I leave and she gets worse?”

“You’re talking like we’re not all capable people, you have to know that—”

“I’m her husband, gods dammit!”

It only quiets down after Taako stands up, storms to the other end of the house, and gives them both an earful because you fucking idiots, you’re scaring her, figure out what the hell you’re doing or shut the fuck up. Not fifteen minutes later, they both emerge into the living room and announce stiffly that Kravitz is going with Merle, and Barry is staying behind, and thank you all for being so patient, but they’re just a little shaken up and they only want the best for Lup. All of them do.

Lucretia sits in an armchair too big for her in a space more domestic than she’s used to. This is the third time she’s been to Barry and Lup’s house, and the first time she’s been there with company. It’s a shockingly innocuous property. The garden out front is well-kept and blooming with all sorts of unusual flora, and every room is enormous and airy and spilling over with natural light. (Every room, of course, save for the necromancy lab, which Barry has informed her she’s not allowed to see for plausible deniability.)

He’d shown her the floorplan back when the house was a couple of blueprints and a far-fetched ambition in the aftermath of Story and Song. “Gotta have lotsa light, lotsa space,” he’d told her. “Means the world to her. Uh, especially now.”

It’s beautiful—the sort of house Lucretia had imagined having all to herself a century ago, back when her endgame had been a novel published under her name. She looks at its lofty ceilings now and thinks it would be far too lonely for her taste.

Somehow Lup’s presence makes it even lonelier. She’s taken up residence on the couch, curled into a shallow corner, pupils thin and ears at attention as she surveys the room around her. Everything that moves or raises its voice above a whisper incurs her suspicion, and when Magnus accidentally ventures too close, her lips curl back in a snarl. Lucretia notes how as soon as he steps back, she looks to Taako with concern written starkly across her face. It makes sense, to an extent. Protection has to be one of the oldest instincts in existence. The fact that it survives, even when the rest of her personality is ripped apart, is harshly appropriate.

The rest of her is vacant. Where life and warmth once brimmed in Lup, there’s just—nothing. Lucretia catches herself staring once or twice, sucked into the hollows of Lup’s eyes, and has to tear herself away. It’s wrong. It’s worse than wrong—it’s like someone’s violated a law of the universe and gloated about it.

It doesn’t matter that pieces of the necromancer are rotting in that field.

Lup is gone, and they’re struggling to get her back.

On the second day, Barry collapses.

They all count themselves lucky that Lup doesn’t see it. Magnus carries him to one of the downstairs bedrooms and says he’s going to go and get some fuel for everyone, which Lucretia hopes means coffee, because they’d all drained the supply on the first day. He leaves, and Barry is across the house, and Angus is with Carey and Killian, which they’d all decided on without having to put it to a vote. They don’t know where Davenport is and they figure for now, he wants to keep it that way.

So that leaves Lucretia with Taako and Lup, except Lup isn’t herself, which leaves Lucretia with Taako.

She’s been trying not to think about it.

It only takes a couple agonizing minutes for one of them to break the quiet. “You should check on Barold,” Taako says, and he says it a little more aggressively than he needs to, but it’s also the most he’s spoken to Lucretia in a year and so she’ll take it without complaining.

“He’s fine,” she says. “He hasn’t slept in two days. I don’t want to wake him up.”

Taako rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t dispute her. He has his fingers threaded through Lup’s, and Lucretia watches as his knuckles whiten ever so slightly.

“Why are you here?”

“She’s my friend.”

He scoffs. “That all? What about your—your arrangement, or whatever?”

“The arrangement,” says Lucretia, coldly, “is none of your business. And I’m really not in the mood to be judged for my adult decisions.”

It’s one of the only things that had survived from the Century—an understanding, an open relationship. An arrangement. They’d talked about it after Legato, after Lucretia was so sure everything was about to take a turn for the worse, and agreed because it was too easy to be worth breaking any hearts over.

She’d wondered if Taako was privy to it, and now she knows.

He’s silent for a moment longer, and then he says, “She doesn’t deserve you.” It’s not meant to sting or catch her off guard, Lucretia knows—for Taako, it’s simple and solid as any other fact.

And she’s not going to dispute him.

“Lup deserves to be happy.”

“Now there’s something we can both fuckin’ agree on.” He sighs and tips his head to rest it against Lup’s, and she nuzzles into his loose curtain of hair, closing her eyes in an unexpected display of peace. Lucretia is sure she sees Taako’s eyes shimmer, but then he blinks and clears his throat and the moment is gone.

She doesn’t get to see him very often, which he would say is entirely on purpose. They’d sealed a single, likeminded pact between them to get along for the sake of Angus’s birthday, but Angus’s birthday is over now—it’s been over for what seems like fifty years. And here they are, getting along by virtue of necessity. It feels right.

Lup’s stomach rumbles, and Taako sits up and curses under his breath. “She hasn’t eaten since… shit,” he mumbles, and Lucretia knows he’s talking to himself, but the fact that he’s willing to do so with her sitting right there is something, at least. “I’ll get a meal going, see if I can get her to eat… uh, Lu, c’mon, we’re goin’ to the kitchen.”

He stands, but Lup doesn’t follow. She remains stubbornly seated, looking up at Taako with those horrible, blank eyes, and looks a little like he’s personally offended her.

“Lup,” he says. “C’mon.”

This time he tugs a little insistently on her hand, and her ears pull back again as she releases a low whine from the back of her throat. Taako drops his grasp, sucks in a shaky breath, and pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s a pressure cooker of exasperation, Lucretia thinks, to use a metaphor he would approve of. He also has thick, dark circles under his eyes and a familiar twitch to his mouth that she knows is the harbinger of a full-on breakdown.

“Fuck—Lup, please—”

“Go make the food,” says Lucretia. Lup’s ears twitch towards her, and she looks over without any of the feral hostility they’ve all gotten used to. “I’ll watch her.”

Taako stares her down. She knows he wants the next words out of his mouth to be why should I let you, but she also knows he’s too exhausted to push back. Instead, he holds out a finger like it’s an arcane focus and says, “If you—if you pull any shit—”

“I won’t—”

“—I swear to gods I’ll make you wish we never saved your ass.” He drops the finger and turns back to Lup. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

There’s no response, of course. Taako sighs and heads to the kitchen, although not without a pointed glance over his shoulder. Lucretia doesn’t bother returning it in kind.

That leaves her with Lup, except Lup isn’t herself, so—

A faucet turns on down the hall, followed by the sound of a cabinet slamming heatedly shut. Taako cooks when he’s stressed. He has the manic energy Lucretia’s never been able to muster, the impulse to do something and then the compulsion to actually do it. They share inattention and nothing else. She has a book in her lap, a small fiction she’s been struggling to get through between running the Bureau of Benevolence and the persistent desire to sleep the rest of her life away, and for the last several minutes she’s been thumbing over the pages and wearing her skin raw. It focuses her. (Granted, for what, she’s not entirely sure.)

A hand lays over hers, and Lucretia almost jumps out of her skin. Lup’s eyes catch hers, still dim, still hollowed out like two black holes where stars used to reside. It’s too easy to slip into celestial metaphors to describe her.

She doesn’t say anything—mutism is one of the symptoms, as they’ve started to refer to them, like this is a stubborn virus or some other affliction. But she folds her fingers gently through Lucretia’s and pulls, tipping her head towards the couch, and the empty space where Taako had taken up residence next to her.

“Oh,” says Lucretia, because she can’t think to say anything else. “Oh, you want me to…?”

Lup doesn’t understand her—another symptom—but she continues to press her stare. What else can Lucretia do but oblige? She slides the book carefully off her lap and joins Lup on the couch, folding her legs underneath her. As soon as she gets situated, like Lup can sense it, she nudges gently at Lucretia’s shoulder and leans in.

(And they’re back on the Starblaster, and Lup’s fingers snag gently in Lucretia’s curls as they sit against each other under the dim glow of the stars. Any moment now she’ll ask a question in her low, resonant voice, and Lucretia will crack a self-indulgent smile and respond, and say something that would embarrass her for cycles to come if not for the fact that they keep no secrets from each other.)

Instead Lucretia freezes. Lup doesn’t seem to notice. She doesn’t close her eyes, but her ears stoop to a gentle incline and her breathing evens from its short, choppy exhales. It reminds Lucretia of honey-gold mornings and sun-warmed skin between tangled sheets, and it’s wrong; she knows this, even though something about it feels numbingly right. She shouldn’t be wanting Lup’s hand curled lightly in her lap, or her weight against Lucretia’s chest.

She shouldn’t be wanting it and yet she wants so much. She wants Lup back and right now, this is the closest she’s going to get.

The clamor from the kitchen fades into white noise. Lup rests in the curve of her shoulder, and for once Lucretia doesn’t ache with the need to flex her fingers and fold them into her palm, or thumb over the pages of her book. She lets the world phase just slightly out of focus because she, like everyone, is more exhausted than she realizes. They hadn’t given her something to do in the aftermath. She’d become a sentinel of her own accord.

It’s appropriate, she decides, for her inclination; protecting the ones she loves for better or for worse.

Lup is warm. She’s always been warm, like magic is constantly running hot through her veins, and even in this state Lucretia can feel the power thrumming faintly beneath her skin. It’s a vibration; a distinctly choppy hum. There is both a power and a fragility to it that together is unlike anything Lucretia’s ever heard.

The reason she’s never heard anything like it is, of course, because it’s not actually arcane power that Lucretia can feel through the fabric of her blouse.

It’s a purr—a soft, oscillating rumble that spills from Lup’s throat and radiates outward in tiny vibrations. Where they land, goosebumps scatter across Lucretia’s skin, and cautiously she tips her head to verify the sound. As she does, Lup’s eyelashes flutter, and the purring—because that’s what it is, without question—jumps noticeably in volume. She leans toward the crook of Lucretia’s neck on what looks like instinct, like the same gravity that seems to hold them in orbit around each other is at work once again.

The same gravity that nestles in Lucretia’s gut and aches like it’s been a century. A day and a half is nothing compared to a hundred years but right now, it feels entirely as if the two are the same.

So she tucks her head over Lup’s and listens to her purr. There’d been an occurrence over the course of the mission—only once, because to Lup and Taako intimacy was sacrosanct. But she’d been curled up against the headboard, Lup lounging across her lap, and gently massaging an ear. And just like that, like a switch had been flipped, Lup started purring. She’d realized it after a moment or two and propped herself up with an embarrassed grimace, face distinctly pinker than it should have been. “Hey, Luce,” she’d said. “I’d appreciate it if you, uh, kept that to yourself. It’s kind of a…”

“An elf thing?” Lucretia had guessed.

She’d been right, as it turned out; a little-known racial quirk that elves liked to keep under wraps. Lucretia respected her wishes, and after that night, she didn’t hear it again. Apparently it had been long enough that she’d forgotten about it altogether.

She remembers two things, now:

Elves purr when they’re content, or

they purr when they’re distressed.

Lucretia looks down at Lup and can’t even begin to fathom which of the latter it would be.

She abandons that train of thought and reaches up to smooth a hand over Lup’s hair. Lup doesn’t protest, so Lucretia lets her fingers slide through the loose strands and gently massage her scalp. The purring gets louder. It’s a completely involuntary thing—she’s sure of it—but there’s a small, selfish part of her that thinks, she knows it’s me. This is for me. Lup doesn’t understand the nuances of her relationship with Lucretia or what they’ve been through together, but she feels safe. Safe with Lucretia. Safe enough to purr.

Taako is so quiet that Lucretia doesn’t even realize he’s there until he slouches into the armchair where she had been. She jumps, and Lup’s ear flicks attentively, but the purring’s tempo doesn’t break.

“Food’s cooking,” is all he says. There’s a bitter edge to his tone that she thinks, for once, isn’t directed at her.

Lucretia’s eyes fix on the ring fitted perfectly to Taako’s finger. It’s a cluster of bright pink tourmaline encased in transmuted silver, brilliant enough to catch the light and throw it in prisms across the room.

“I’ll get up,” she says.

He waves a dismissive hand. “You’re chill. Lup’s comfortable, so—so just stay where you are.”

“You don’t—”

“Lucretia,” he says, “I don’t give a flying fuck what I’m—about how I feel right now, and neither should you. This ain’t about me.”

The pointed look that tangles in Lup’s eyelashes tells Lucretia everything else she needs to know.

She doesn’t try to argue further. For one, it’s an argument she’s not going to win, and for the other—for once—she hasn’t the faintest idea what they would be arguing about. So she starts to card her fingers through Lup’s hair again, and Lup continues to purr, and Taako stares vacantly in the direction of the kitchen as if there’s something he’s forgotten.

That night, Kravitz and Merle portal in through the front yard. Lucretia and Barry are there to greet them, and the latter’s shirt is stained and his hair is sticking up in sleep-thick spikes, but right then he looks more awake than ever.

Diamond dust glitters in the valleys of Merle’s palm as he lays his hand on Lup. The air thickens with the scent of ozone. Taako’s fingers are laced tightly through hers once more, and he doesn’t say anything, but she can see his shoulders shaking.

The effect is instantaneous.

“Well, shit,” says Lup, when the light returns to her eyes. She sees Taako sitting next to her first and pulls him into her arms, and just like that, the room heaves a sigh of relief. Barry takes her face in her hands and kisses her hard, and Magnus barges past and sweeps them all into a hug, ignoring Taako and Merle’s harmonious complaining. Kravitz manages an awkward pat until he, too, is pulled headfirst into the embrace.

Lucretia stands in the doorway. The world is quiet and dark outside and the neighbors’ well-kept lawns glimmer with a late rainfall.

She leaves.

Or she tries to, at least, because she only gets as far as the porch before the door swings open behind her and light from the hallway spills around her feet. “ ’Cretia,” Lup says. “Where’re you going?”

A best of silence, and the door closes of its own accord. It’s just them, now, standing in the dim glow of the porch light with the faint buzz of crickets in the distance.

“I missed you,” says Lucretia.

Lup steps forward and takes her gently by the shoulders. “I missed you too. So why don’t you stick around? Taako’s making dinner.”

“I can’t.”

She sighs. “If you think they’ll be weird—”

Lucretia shakes her head. “It’s not them, it’s me.”

She knows Lup won’t argue with that. Instead she drums her fingers against Lucretia’s sleeves and says, “You were there the whole time, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Lup leans forward and presses her lips lightly to Lucretia’s, and despite herself, Lucretia leans in. She really has missed Lup—missed this—the way she has to rock forward on her tiptoes to reach her and the way Lup smiles against her mouth and the way she feels nothing else, except the ebb and pull of the kiss itself. They might have spent an eternity standing there on the porch, half-drowned in golden light and shivering slightly in the chill. Lucretia knows she wouldn’t mind.

But all the best things must come to an end, and Lup pulls away with a small, dazed grin.

“My girl,” she murmurs. “Missed you like crazy. You really won’t stay, huh?”

“I can’t,” is all Lucretia says.

“Okay.” She hops off the porch and sits on the stoop, then pats the concrete next to her. “Sit with me for a little bit, then. Tell me about what I missed.”

Lucretia does. She sits down and doesn’t bother sugarcoating it, because she knows Lup will hate that even more than not knowing. So she unflinchingly recounts the seconds after Lup fell and how Taako and Barry’s spells had ripped the necromancer apart. She tells Lup about the way she’d screamed at the sight of the rift and how she’d bared her teeth at anyone other than Taako who’d come close. She recites bits and pieces of Barry and Kravitz’s argument.

Lup listens without comment. When Lucretia stops—whether it’s just to stop or to take a breath, she isn’t sure—she says, “I’ve got these… impressions. Like vague memories, emotions… it’s like everything’s blurred.” She grins ruefully. “Kinda hard to make acute observations when your intelligence takes a fuckin’ swan dive, huh?”

Lucretia doesn’t respond at first, and Lup notices. “Everything okay?”

“What’s wrong with you?” says Lucretia.

The crickets seem deafeningly loud just then, filling up the space with their incessant chirping and almost overpowering what she says next. “You weren’t yourself, and it was fucking terrifying. And it didn’t even make any sense, because one minute you were growling at everyone, and the next you were—”

Her sentence hangs like a woman off a precipice. “You were… it doesn’t matter. You just—you’re cracking jokes and kissing me and acting like none of this happened, and it did happen, and it scared the life out of all of us, and I don’t know how you can be so—so chill about all of it when a spell literally destroyed your mind.”

“Oh,” Lup says. That’s it. Lucretia’s just started to kick herself for being stupid, for reprimanding Lup just minutes after she’s come back to herself because she doesn’t deserve that, gods dammit, when she says, “Y’know what? That’s fair.”

Lucretia blinks. “Um—um, yeah. Yeah, it is.”

She leans back on the heels of her hands, gazing up at the edge of the overhang and beyond that, the brilliant spread of stars. “I’m not gonna lie, Luce. I feel like shit. But when you fix somebody, they’re supposed to be fixed, right? No exceptions. No side effects. You forgive and forget and you—whoops, sorry, babe,” she says, because she catches Lucretia’s flinch, because of course she does. “Bad choice of words. But my point is that it shouldn’t be this hard to suck it up and move on.”

“Lup?”

“Yeah, hon.”

“It’s been five minutes.”

Lup chuckles and releases a long sigh. “Sure has.”

They sit in silence for a few moments. Somewhere behind the house, a carriage trundles by, accompanied by a couple raised voices and someone’s airy laughter. As the voices fade away, Lup says, “It coulda hit any one of you.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Yeah, it is,” she says, and doesn’t snap, even though her voice gets noticeably sharper. “There’s a scenario out there where the spell hits you, instead. Or Taako. Or Barry, or Angus… I could go on and on, and that, right there?” Lup’s finger jabs at an invisible spot in the air. “That’s the point. The fact that the spell hit me and not anybody else. I’m happy to take the hit—hell, I’m thrilled if it means no one else has to go through that.”

There’s no way Lucretia can counter that without compromising her beliefs. “You’re a good person,” she says. It’s not a hollow sentiment, but it does sound like one.

“I’m pissed off is what I am,” says Lup, but she puts a hand on Lucretia’s thigh and squeezes.

“I’ll get over it,” she murmurs. “Always do.”

They spend another few seconds in silence, although the way they pass, it could have been measured in eternities. Lup’s thumb presses absentminded circles into the side of Lucretia’s knee.

“Barry passed out,” she says suddenly; affectionately. “Dumbass. He always likes to say he’ll sleep when he’s dead, and since he’s a lich already that doesn’t mean jack, so…”

Lup falls silent for a few moments more, and then she says, “When did you last get some sleep?”

Lucretia thinks. She hadn’t so much as closed her eyes on the Starblaster, and the night before she’d gotten about five hours on the tail end of an enormous amount of paperwork. Suddenly the leaden weight in her limbs makes a lot more sense. “It’s been awhile.”

“Then you’re a dumbass, too,” says Lup.

Fair assessment.

Their intimacy from earlier in the day sticks sharp and clear in Lucretia’s mind. She’s been wrestling with how to bring it up, like there’s any way she can casually discuss the mechanics of want under Feeblemind, and it occurs to her then that the best way to mention it is just to mention it. So she takes a soft breath and says, “You purred.”

Lup’s ear twitches as she glances over. “I what?”

“You purred,” Lucretia repeats. “When we were… um, you seemed like you wanted me, uh… near you, so I went to sit with you, and you purred. And I felt like I should, uh. Say something? So. There it is. You purred.”

It’s in a note somewhere in her journals, that elves’ pupils expand just so when they’re taking in new information. Lup’s eyes look like two small moons. “Oh,” she says, a little more meaningfully than people usually say such things. “Well, I, uh… I’m comfortable with you. Makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Lucretia supposes it does.

“Yeah,” she admits. “I guess so.”

“Well, there you have it.” Lup’s tone is flippant, but the tips of her ears are a rosy pink. She tucks an arm around Lucretia’s shoulders and pulls her close, and Lucretia gratefully relents to the pull. It’s like giving in to fifty years of fear and uncertainty and memories she still can’t keep herself from reliving, but because she��s in Lup’s arms, none of it matters anymore. It’s over, she thinks. It’s not okay but it’s over.

Lucretia’s intuition tells her that any moment now, someone is going to come to the door to check on the two of them. The sacrament of their moment will be broken, and the agony and trauma of the past few days will come flooding back in.

It’s like a dangling participle—paranoid, inevitable.

But they’ve weathered much worse together.

#helloyoubeautifulsoul #ask #the adventure zone #taz balance #lupcretia #fic #mine #we out here doing a hit on the best girls!!!

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