#and feel like i'm actually learning something important
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I have an idea for a full-season Eddie arc that I want to put into the universe. tim, feel free to plagiarize me yet again (but this time. i want a dm. i know you're around here somewhere come say hi). So. Anyways. Season 8
8x1: Eddie has broken up with Marisol. By the time this episode rolls around, they've already been broken up for a couple weeks/months. As mentioned in 7x5, he's struggling with the idea of Catholic guilt, struggling with the idea of faith in general. He mentions, in casual conversation, to Buck, Chim or Tommy (who is still with Buck on screen *coughs loudly*) that he's thinking about going down to Texas for a while. His grandmother is the most religious person he knows and he's always found comfort being in her space and soaking in her presence, so he wants to talk to her about his feelings. Whoever he's talking to agrees that's a good idea.
8x2 - 8x7: A couple episodes pass with the idea of Eddie taking some time off in the background of the audience's mind. Nothing major, just little throw away lines about getting the truck tuned up before he makes a big road trip, paying bills before he leaves, things like that.
8x8: The 118 responds to a call of a fire in a church. Two people are getting married and their families are in attendance. Eddie doesn't go inside the church but he fights the fire from outside and helps treat the injured. Almost everyone is pulled out safely but the mother of the bride. Her daughter is crying because she and her mother aren't on good terms and she doesn't want it to be too late for them to patch things up. Eddie and the bride get to talking, and the bride mentions she always felt like she wasn't enough for mom, that she found it impossible to live up to her standards. They had an argument before the fire broke out because the bride realized, on-screen, that she didn't actually want to marry the man she was going to marry because she was in love with someone else (that's what started the fire, her making that announcement caused someone to pass out, and blah blah blah). But she was only marrying this man because her mom thought he would be good for her, and the brides makes a comment about always feeling like she was living her life for someone else, in service of a standard she could never reach. Eddie, of course, can relate. The bride's mother passes away and, it's a tragedy and is treated as such, but at the end of the episode during the voiceover (*coughs louder*), we see the bride reuniting with the person she's actually in love with because her mother's death means she's free from having to try to, like, be perfect.
8x10: Eddie's been getting a call from his dad all throughout the episode but he's been ignoring it because [shenanigans]. This is a light-hearted episode and the tone will be important because when he finally answers the phone during the last five minutes of the episode, he's like "Dad, come on, jesus, what is it" and his dad tells him that his grandmother has passed away.
8x11: Midseason premiere, the episode begins with Isabel's funeral, mainly because I want to see Eddie/Ryan in a nice tailored black suit (timothy, i'm sure you can relate). Anyway, the funeral is outside because it's important Eddie doesn't go inside a church yet. When it's finished, he goes back to the reception at Isabel's house. His sisters are there, everyone is there. He offers to help his mother in the kitchen and she tries to make conversation, but Helena Diaz has never actually learned how to relate to her son, so she says the wrong thing. It doesn't go well (but that's something to be circled back to in another season). Eddie looks at the pictures on his grandma's wall / mantle / whatever and sees himself and his sisters and his cousins when they were kids, smiling big at church christenings or whatever, and he's like... "I don't recognize this kid who was so happy to be inside of religion. I didn't know who I was then, and I definitely don't know who I am now because of it". He doesn't say it, but that's the vibe ofc, and Ryan's face is expressive enough that he can pull that off.
8x12: He's back in LA. Everyone is treating him with the utmost care because they are good people and they love him, and one evening, Eddie gets a visitor. He opens the door and it's his sister. (one of them lives in LA, remember?). In my head, that's always been Sophia, so he asks what she's doing here, and she holds up a bottle of wine. They sit on the sofa, they talk and reminisce about their grandmother, make apologies for the fact that they haven't been around for each other much despite living in the same city (but this isn't Eddie's family issues storyline, this is the Catholic guilt storyline. We will circle back to this in S9). So Eddie pitches the idea of faith to her, and asks what it means to her. It's the same question he wanted to ask his grandmother. Sophia says she has faith in the universe, faith that things always happen the way they're meant to, and it's a good answer but it doesn't speak to the core of Eddie's problem, which is that he always feels beholden to something he can't name/place.
8x14: Eddie continues to ask the people around him (Buck, Athena, Tommy, Chim) about faith and what it means to them. They all give him different answers. Athena has faith in purpose. Chim has faith in his family. Buck has faith in the inherent good of humanity. Tommy has faith in himself. It's not very helpful in the sense that no one gives him his answer, but it does reveal to him that faith can, does, and should exist absent of guilt, that maybe he's been doing it (or was taught) all wrong.
8x15: Insert an embarrassingly on the nose call about a kind, nerdy, reserved man who's lived by an unspoken rulebook all his life. He came out to Los Angeles on a whim and suffers from a hiking mishap where he's physically blinded by [something] and subsequently needs to trust that the 118, these people he literally cannot see, will save him. When they pull him to safety, he berates himself for even coming out to Los Angeles in the first place because he's not the kind of guy who does this, he just wanted to do something for him and now he feels stupid. And Eddie (because of course it's Eddie) is just like "no, you didn't do anything wrong. Look, you took a leap of faith (episode title btw). That's more than what most people can say. Maybe it didn't work out in this instance, but who knows how it'll work out tomorrow, or the next day. You don't know the future. None of us do, so maybe stop trying to live according to some giant colossal plan and just... live, and try your best. Isn't that all we can do?" And he watches the guy get airlifted away (thanks Tommy! *coughs even louder*) and it's like his lightbulb moment, like, oh. Yeah. He finally gets it.
8x16: Eddie walks into a church for the first time in years, and for the first time all season. It looks exactly how he remembers; wooden pews, high ceilings, the works. He takes a seat on one of the benches and prays / talks aloud to God and is just like, "I don't really know who you are and I don't know how to be what you want me to be. All my life I've been trying to be what everyone wants me to be to the point where I just don't even know who I am anymore, if I ever knew. So I don't know who you are, but I know I am who you made me to be, and I don't know who that is, but I know that person is enough for me right now. And maybe I'll figure you out along the way, maybe I won't. But, right now, what I know is that i can't be your perfect son because I can't be perfect at all, and I need to let go of the idea that I can and start living my life for me." So he walks out of the church and not much changes, but everything changes. You know?
And, like, obviously the story would need to be flushed out a little more. Obviously, this story centers more of the idea of faith than the idea of explicit guilt, but they're one in the same anyway because you can't have guilt without failed/presumably "failed" expectations. In this case, religious or spiritual expectation. So. I don't know. But there's just something so sexy about the idea of Eddie systematically and intentionally dismantling and releasing himself from all the things that have kept him from growing over the years. Starting with his survivors guilt in S5 and working his way through Catholic guilt in S8, I just love the idea of Eddie being purposeful in his own healing, especially in this post-breakdown era. Plus it'll give him a chance to have a storyline that's not romance-focused cos we've been leaning a bit too heavily into those. 🙃 But anyways. (Next up is his issues with Helena. btw. because we have yet to circle back to his family issues in canon but we certainly need to).
#Sorry Isabel you were the sacrificial lamb#I wrote this instead of working ermmmm okay back to the grind as they say#jack.txt#tv: 911#jack answers mail#8a speculation#8b speculation#ish#no read more sorry. i talk a lot and you should all be used to it.#tim minear#ok no for real i got work to do lmfaoooo bye#EVERYONE MANIFEST IT WITH ME GIRLS
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Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!
So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.
So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!
Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)
This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.
On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).
This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.
Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.
Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.
Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')
One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!
Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.
However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!
Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.
On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.
Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)
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I cannot let this show go without writing my goodbyes... Deep Night Final EP
Deep night was everything and more. It was a show that was made with insane love, thought and care and it fucking shows. That loves shines through the screen and it is GUARANTEED to warm your cold dead heart.
Cheewin has always made his shows a bit more grounded, a bit more queer, a bit more real. Since YYY you can just tell there's someone in the crew that understands queer experience and this was it again. The good parts, the sad parts, the struggle without exploting it for pity. It showcased confusion and acceptance and love and love and love. So many different kinds of love.
Wela and Khemtid
These two developed so beautifully, from people who misunderstood eachother, to people who felt attracted to each other but still didn't get it, to people who listened, apologized, leaned on, supported, loved, cared for eachother. Khemtid's enchantment with wela blossomed after they fought about Wela's job, he realized that acceptance was the better route to take and he just worked hard to get it right, to make up for it, to help. Wela at the same time tried so hard as well to understand Khem's feelings, making it easier for them to reach the middle ground. He worked so hard with Khem to keep the club afloat, he was never mean to his coworkers, he carried the whole world on his back and still stood proud. They went from strangers to these two adorable dorks who hold hands and smile while kissing. I'm sorry but Khemtid smiling like he just won the world while giving his injured bboyfriend a handjob at the back of the club made my heart burn. That's complicity and partnership and mischief and intimacy. They stand on equal ground and that's so meaningful to me.
Then we have these three dorks
The true rivals to lovers. I talked about this in my previous Deep Night post but it was brilliant. Their storyline developed so subtly and naturally I cried last week. The way Japan and Ken's love bloomed out of love for Seiji... like it's not that they're just dating Seiji, they're dating eachother and that comes from a trust that developed from and understanding, that grew from care into desire. Last week's episode showing Japan as the center of his fantasy showed that, Japan is also attracted to Ken, and Ken's heart has melted for Japan as well, unknowingly. The talk they had was so necessary, so respectful and rooted on concern and an actual attempt to build something that left no one out. Seriously the way they're sitting in the end, with Ken brushing Japans hand, the way Japan held Ken's hand and brought him into the hug to welcome him, to shelter him. I love that it wasn't fetishized. (Because we've tackeled threesomes before in other shows but not romantic love) I love them, they love each other, this is healing.
Freya and Meiji
They are EVERYTHING. Honestly the role of women, specifically queer women in queer spaces has been overlooked for way too long. They take on the role of caring, protecting and supporting the whole club, the boys themselves and themselves. The fact that Freya's character was divorced and was constantly under attack from her ex-husbands family now existing with a same-sex partner was so complex yet beautifuly handled. Meiji was not just some random chic they threw in to gay it up, she was important to Freya, she helped at the club, she wasn't much around but when she was on screen she was Freya's rock. The talk on age... bro that shook me to the bone. Media is so focused on youth their questioning was so valid and so painful to watch... but it healed. Fuck I'm crying watching this. Everyone deserves to be loved by THEMSELVES.
Khem and Freya
gET TF OUT I WANT TO BE ALONE this mother-son relationship was amazing. Both characters grew so much out of love for each other I want to swallow a shotgun. The was it was alway Freya trying to gain Khemtids approval was so heartbreaking, and watching Khemtid LEARN to accept and love his mom, accept and love the club, accept and love the role they play... fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK
Also we cannot forget Dai
I don't even have words to explain how great this character was. Outfits on point, personality strong and unmoving, loud and authentic and accepted and part of everything and capable and necessary and just EVERYTHING. And the fact that Dai was perceived as a potential love interest for Freya without it being a joke or mockery was gold.
Apart from that, all of these characters and storylines are interwoven in a net of complexity, social norms, real struggles but also real coping mechanisms. I also want to LOUDLY RECOGNIZE the work put into it, as they all worked hard to actually get on stage and perform acrobatics like their characters. There was just so much attention to detail and to making things right I want to cry just thinking about it. Please please please if you havent... Watch it. It may not be revolutionary but it's perfect to me.
Deep night is a very queer show that decided to open a lot of wounds just to let them heal properly.
THANK YOU DEEP NIGHT. I expected nothing from you and you're now part of me.
#deep night final ep#deep night the series#nah but i cried like 18 times writing this#and theres so much stuff I didn't mention#the whole discourse on recognizing this line of work#i love them#khemwela#kenseijipan#bl drama#deep night bl#thai bl#im crying again#wela and his moooooom#freyameiji#ql#thai ql#queer
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If Americans shouldn't vote for Biden what should they do instead? Vote for trump? Vote third party? Not vote?
(I know most people would probably ask you this in bad faith but I'm just really distraught at the state of politics and keep hearing people say "don't say he's the only option and don't support him" but there's never alternatives given and I don't know what an effective alternative could even be)
I think a good place to start that a lot of people are comfortable with is probably volunteering and petitioning for 3rd parties to make sure they Do have ballot access next year. So that ppl Can vote for someone else next year.
And yes, vote 3rd party this election. Or don't vote at all.
Besides that? Learn some basic defense and join protests. Support encampments and do things leftists say like join a union and organize your own community whether it be your schoolmates, coworkers, or all your friends and their friends.
Y'all see the news right?
Censorship and propaganda are rampant right now, along with transphobia and racism and even Nazis are back. Tensions are high to say the least and everyone is worked up about the election and Israel.
Figure out what you wish someone else would do and then do it. Is that de-arresting protesters? Organizing a bail fund, fighting cops and throwing tear gas back at them when they make things violent?
There's a lot to fight against and even more to fight for. Find what's worth fighting for (to you) and actually start fighting for it. Don't let cops or your principal or boss or anyone else stop you.
I think one of the most important things we can do right now is remind the government and those that serve the government that they won't take our rights so easily. That if they want to silence us then we're gonna make sure it'll hurt more than it'll help. That we can and will fight back.
And that's why it's so vital that we show them we won't settle either. We won't vote for Biden.
We settled for Clinton and look where that got us.
Does it feel like voting for more and more conservative blue candidates actually helped prevent harm? Or does it feel like you were manipulated and lied to?
Gonna be real, it feels like the government is a manipulative abuser and we're all it's gaslit victims who don't want to believe things are that bad just cuz he killed someone else instead of us.
Which is like...it doesn't mean good things for us that our government could do that and we'd rationalize it, you know?
How we want to get out of this fucked up dynamic is up to us. We work, we pay taxes, we listen to the governments rule of law, and still our government won't codify rights, our trans friends are being abused by the government, or it's banning apps with censorship. And the whole time it's telling us to shut up and be grateful it isn't worse.
Abusers never ever tell you that it could be better too. And they don't want you to know that. Cuz then you leave. And if you leave then they can't manipulate and abuse you.
So yeah. They'll shit on us for doing Anything that doesn't result in us staying, for doing anything that results in us choosing our own well being instead of theirs.
But that's what we need to do.
And you need support before you do that. That's what organizing is. It's like calling the besties who hype you up to leave your shitty ex. Except it's a bunch of people agreeing to support each other when they choose to stand up for something. Organizing is making sure there are people watching back and making sure if one of you is harmed or arrested that there'll be someone there to help bail you out.
The more people you have to bail you out, the less you have to worry about being outnumbered, spoken over, or physically stopped with force.
So yeah. Do that.
Organize. I hope I stressed that enough. The people on our front lines need us to be there for them as much we need Them to keep fighting for us.
Also since I'm here: make sure you and your friends don't talk shit about protesters even when they get violent and break shit. It's not abuse when the victim finally hits back at their abuser, it's self defense.
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I tried to have this conversation a few weeks ago and it didn't go well, so after giving it time to calm down I am bringing it up now on my own page, about the importance of allowing fans who can't afford the game, or who otherwise can't play for themself due to disabilities, etc, a space in the fandom. And in particular, this involves deconstructing the idea that Let's Plays aren't a valid way to experience this media, and that people who didn't purchase the game don't belong here, both of which are harmful, classist, ableist ideas.
(Tone: genuine. Not angry or aggressive, but passionate.)
I want to say that as much as I enjoy playing BG3 and am glad I bought it, there really isn't anything that I have gained, in terms of understanding of the plot, lore, characters, relationships, etc, that I didn't already have when I was watching Let's Plays and using the datamined dialogues exclusively. Nor has my emotional experience been significantly different in any measurable way. I mean, I WAS very happy to recruit and romance Halsin in a way that I didn't feel when I watched a Let's Play, but that's it. It didn't change my understanding of, or feelings towards, him at all. I knew Halsin's entire story before, and I knew his entire story after, too. My feelings on each and every one of Halsin's scenes has remained exactly the same.
There wasn't any character I thought was a bad guy who I saw something new in when I played for myself, or vice-versa. I didn't have any paradigm shifts in my understanding of the plot. The bad guy was still a Nether Brain controlled by the Chosen of the Dead Three in each playthrough. The good guys were still a group of traumatized weirdos (/affectionate). Astarion was still a victim of rape and slavery, Shadowheart was still a cult escapee, and Halsin still struggled with the burdens of leadership. There were still choices that could make the companions bar Jaheira and Minsc fall in love with you, and choices that could make them despise you. There were still choices that could push some of the characters to be better or worse versions of themselves. There were still a lot of notes and books to pick up, some of which were important to the lore, some of which provided random factoids about bit characters you may find interesting or may find useless, and many of which were completely useless and a waste of inventory space. I didn't learn anything new in the informational sense, about the plot, the characters, the flow of the game, nothing.
(Well, there was ONE different thing, which was that I ended up being an edge case where I accidentally shot Lae'zel with my arrow when trying to free her and got yelled at by her for it. Does that actually count as a unique-to-playing revelation though? Everyone who watched me stream that day would have learned about it too.)
I didn't experience some overwhelming emotional shift in response to the events onscreen that wasn't there when I watched Let's Play, either, which is also an argument that has been made. There's been a case presented that it's not so much that the events themselves change but that playing somehow alters your emotional response which affects how you view the plot and characters. But that didn't happen for me, either. I didn't go from "I do not care one single solitary fuck about Barcus Wroot" to "oh my god I will give this poor liddol guy the world." I still do not care about him. I didn't go from "yay, the moon lesbians are free!" to some sort of more intense emotion like "omg I'm going to cry now!" I still love them and am happy they're free, but hardly moved to tears. I didn't go from "fuck Orin" to "MEGA fuck Orin." Making the choices and fighting the battles myself didn't change anything for me in that sense. There was no emotion I hadn't already felt before that came to me in my own playthrough. Every emotion I had when watching a Let's Play was almost exactly the same when I played the game for myself.
If anything, the only real change was that I started to have annoyance as a sort of background radiation for about 90% of the companions because I kept accidentally talking to them when trying to click on items and things, and I got really fucking tired of hearing their greetings? "Shut up, Astarion, I wanted to loot the corpse, not talk to you, please back the fuck up. Why is my party always halfway up my ass? Personal space, guys?" Otherwise nope.
My understanding of canon, my understanding of the characters, my emotional resonance to the events that happened, those were all exactly the same. I literally don't know what people are referring to when they say that there was some magical new dimension of feeling that can only be unlocked when you are the one playing. Whatever that magic was certainly wasn't there for me, and that disproves the idea it's "impossible" to fully experience the game through LPs, because having played the game, I can say that I DID get the full experience through LPs. Maybe some people can't get the full feel of things by watching, which is 100% valid, but some people very much can. I did both, and I can tell you that they conferred 98% similar intellectual and emotional experiences.
In fact, I'd argue that there's more of a difference between playing as a Tav or an Origin vs playing as a Dark Urge than there is between playing yourself vs watching an LP, but I don't often see the case made that people who haven't completed a Durge playthrough don't understand the game properly and therefore can't/shouldn't contribute their analyses/interpretations of canon to the fandom. And I mean, there is some HEAVY lore you only get in a Durge playthrough. You would have a FAR better case that completing/watching a Durge playthrough is the event that marks you as understanding/having a complete knowledge of canon than you would that playing the game yourself instead of watching someone else do it is, though I still wouldn't ultimately agree that it's a prequisite.
People who watch LPs are valid, your way of experiencing the game is valid, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise because honestly, people who gatekeep are never worth listening to in the first place. The idea that your understanding becomes more complete when playing yourself isn't true for everyone. You can say they weren't the same experience for you, and that is PERFECTLY valid and understandable, but that's only you. You can't say what others are and aren't able to feel when playing vs watching Let's Plays. The only correct statement here is "some people are able to fully comprehend the plot through Let's Plays, and some aren't, and the mode of consuming the game ultimately doesn't determine whether a person belongs here. Both groups still belong in the fandom and have just as valid opinions to contribute as the others."
Further, I have seen absolutely brilliant, on-point analyses from people who only watched Let's Plays, and absolutely horrible, nuclear hot takes from people who spend all day playing the game. Just the other day, for example, I legitimately witnessed a Redditor VEHEMENTLY argue that 1. There was a scene in the game where Halsin called Thaniel "beautiful", 2. This nonexistent scene was ABSOLUTE proof that Halsin was a pedophile, and 3. Halsin's time as a sex slave had clearly caused him to become a pedophile. People who had seen only the intro of the game on an LP would STILL have a better understanding of canon than this person who claimed to have played dozens of times. If we're going to judge people's understanding of the game, it should be based on the understanding their posts convey directly, not based on assumptions about who can absorb what amount of information through what mode of consuming the game.
So I repeat: LP watchers, you're fine. Enjoy fandom in a way you can experience. You shouldn't be locked out of discussion of the game just because you can't afford hundreds of dollars for a game system. To suggest otherwise would be appallingly cruel and exclusionary behavior, on the level of saying bootleg watchers can't be part of discussions about Broadway shows. You all belong. You don't have to buy your way into a fandom space.
And bringing it to that issue: yes, Let's Plays ARE an absolute necessity for both poor people and for people with certain disabilities (blindness, since the game doesn't have a narrative-only mode, and severe disabilities affecting the hands being the two that jump to mind right away). Gatekeeping fandom from poor people based on whether they've bought an expensive game and gaming setup, much like being an anti-bootleg Broadway fan, serves the sole purpose of shaming and punishing poor fans for not properly engaging in the capitalist system. I know the intention isn't to gatekeep the poor and people with certain disabilities from the fandom, but that ends up being the effect when this particular argument gets made.
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I think I've recovered enough from watching the episode to actually say something about it, or at least more than I managed right afterwards.
I loved it.
It's great to see chibi-ish!Ruby used for comedic effect again, for the first time since Volume 1 I think. First acting playfully mad with Yang, and then in her excitement at the boba.
On that note, it's great to see and hear Ruby excited again. It's impressive how high her voice can go without breaking, especially considering Ruby's VA's normal voice seems to be lower pitched than Yang's voice.
I'm not surprised Ruby's uncomfortable with the cult that has sprung up around her message to Remnant. She always wanted to be a normal girl, if one who became a huntress, which is a fairly normal thing in Remnant. Especially for someone born to a family of them.
It's good to see that refugees from Patch can set up their business in Vacuo, and even better that it lets Yang and Ruby carry on the tradition they had before Beacon. That it was something they did with Tai also ended up revealing why he isn't there with them: he's on assignment, according to Qrow. What is more important than being in Vacuo, where the majority of Remnant's population is gathered? And more important than being with his daughters, who he might have heard were presumed dead and miraculously reappeared.
I've seen the suggestion that Tai's guarding the Crown aka Relic of Choice, but I've also seen the great point that if that's the case and Salem finds him, there's not much he can do to stop her, no matter what his Semblance is. Although I guess Raven might feel that he's in danger and open a portal for him to escape through. It's not confirmed that's how her Semblance works, but it explains how she knew when Yang needed saving in Volume 2.
Anyway, back to Yang and Ruby! I love that Yang brought up what happened in the Ever After. That she's understands, or at least understands enough after what Yang herself has been through, and the important thing she gets across to Ruby is that she's not alone. That she's not going to carry the weight of leading them alone. Not anymore.
It's also important that they've figured out a code word to signal that Ruby needs help, because she doesn't always know how to reach out. I figure that they will tell Blake and Weiss about that, or it could confuse them:
Ruby: "Boba!"
Weiss: ...
Blake: :3 ???
Yang: Hugs Ruby. "I'm here for you."
Weiss: "Is. Is this another weird Xiao Long-Rose thing?"
What I particularly appreciate about it is that Yang acknowledged her mistake but didn't actually apologise for it, and Ruby didn't mind that. Because the important thing isn't saying sorry, it's changing things so that Ruby never feels that alone again. Actions speak louder than words.
It's also equally important that Ruby recognised she still has issues saying when she needs help. They're a team and they need to work together.
It just reinforces RWBY's message of hope, and to keep moving forward, and that no one is perfect but that they learn from their mistakes.
Asjhgsdkjghfdkshjkakjhdhlsj FEELS AUGH
Also that last line kinda hints that Ruby likes to go shopping with Yang, but they haven't got around to it. Shopping for new outfits, perhaps?
#RWBY spoilers#RWBY Beyond#Yang Xiao Long#RWBY Ruby#the sisters Xiao Long-Rose#the sisters of all time#deadbeatbirdmom posts
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DCA Subnautica AU
Version #2 of the designs, including the bioluminescence! + fun tidbits on each of the goobers and a visual on Y/N!
Eclipse is up first!
Theirs was the first design I drew out in any detail (as shown in the crude MS Paint drawing), so it's the one that needed the most work. Even after making the more detailed version with the lights, I still ended up changing things as I got a better grasp on what direction I wanted to head in. Fun lore tidbit! Eclipse is a freak of nature and should not look like that! They're properly split down the middle between day and night. Also I messed it up in the drawing because I was tired when I made it, but they're also covered in scars and bite marks.
Sun !!
I did Sun next, and here I had a better idea for what I was going for. There were still a few problems with this design though, which got changed. This is also where I started drawing the pattern on the tail, which I felt looked weird in this picture. Fun tidbit! Sun has an inability to express his feelings in the appropriate fish mermaid way, leading to much confusion.
Moon !!
Moon was done last. Once again, I learned from this drawing and changed Moon's design to match, however Moon is the one that remains the most unchanged! I knew what I was going for by the time I got to him each time, so I guess that helped. Something I did alter, however, were some of the lights. I found that they either blended together too much or weren't as visible as I would have liked. Fun tidbit! This is pose actually based on a scene in one of the chapters. It was actually one of the earliest written scenes.
Y/N, my beloved <3
I did 2 versions of Y/N, one with longer hair and one with shorter. It was important for me, when writing the story, that I kept the person I'm imagining as vague as possible, with the only physical descriptions being "physically fit" and having a few scars (for plot reasons), so this is only for me and whatever drawings I do. As a result of trying to keep it vague, I ended up going with the shorter hair (though in the final reference I made it a bit longer than shown here). Fun tidbit! The green is because whenever I'm sketching, I have 4 colours I sketch in to differentiate parts of the picture (usually background vs foreground or different people), and green was the one I used here (red, blue and purple were taken, I'm sure you can understand why). It ended up sticking, since I didn't want to go with the orange that's on Ryley's suit in order to avoid possible confusion.
That's it for now! At some point, I'll post the full references for each of them, but until then, the next thing I post will probably be chapter 1!
#dca mer au#art#my art#fnaf#my goober#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf au#mermay#fnaf mermay#fnaf y/n#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf eclipse#the daycare attendant#dca au#daycare attendent#mer sun#mer moon#mer eclipse
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Vagastrom (+ Lucas my bbi 💖) and MC are absent-minded and forgetful
(I'm thinking about Leo's expression when MC forgot about their date 🙋🏻♀️)
This is me deadass lol! Thank you for sending in a request!
ALAN MIDO
Alan would be worried that something happened at first. He would get Sho to call MC and see if they were alright.
He wouldn't catch on until sometime later when they were at the garage and he asked them to grab him a tool that he left in the other room, while he worked on a car.
He would hear them walk away. He'd wait patiently, wondering if maybe they didn't know what the tool he asked for looked like. After a few minutes of silence he would slide out from under the car and find them doing something else. When they explained that they forgot as soon as they came into the room. It all clicked.
He'll actually be pretty patient with them. He understands what its like to not be the best at something (like him and tech) so he won't yell or get pissy when they forget something.
He'll drop a gentle reminder any time he sees them, especially if its something important like medication or an important appointment.
SHOHEI HAIZONO "SHO"
.
Sho will at first think something happened. He'll shoot them a quick text to ask where the hell they are. And when they tell him he forgot he'll roll his eyes and remind them.
With a brother like his (iykyk) he's used to that sort of thing, so it doesn't bother him too much.
The only time it will genuinely piss him off is if MC forgot that he was making food and they go out to eat. Like they grabbed fast food when he already made dinner.
I HC Sho as someone who hates wasting good food. So if there's one way to piss him off its that.
He wouldn't snap at MC but he would give them a bit of a lecture before a short while of silent treatment. Its not just about the food though. Its about the fact that he put so much effort into something and they just forgot.
Once he learned that it was kinda who they were he'll be more forgiving but he'll still get pissed.
LEO KUROSAGI
Okay Leo is petty when it first happens. If Sho gives them a littl a while of silent treatment, Leo will straight up act like they don't exist until they've either apologized with starbies or he's satisfied.
Once he learns its not their fault, he'll still be petty but he'll set alarms on their phone. He isn't going to spam call or text them. That's super desperate and ugly in his opinion (even if he wants to)
Leo is one of those guys who will stay mad if they forgot. The only time he won't is if it was an emergency (like they're dead)
LUCAS ERRANT "LUCA"
Our boi Luca doesn't get mad. He gets a little one track minded himself (obviously) she he's always patient with MC.
He'll pick up on it faster than Alan though, thats for sure. He'll give them gentle reminders every now and then and try to keep them on track when they're together.
If he's not with them he'll send them texts about what they may have to do. If they asked him to he'd even try to find ways to help: giving them a list, reminding them, setting alarms, etc.
He can't lie that it does upset him a little when they forget about dates or important things, but he tries not to take it personally. That and he'll tell MC how he's feeling and why.
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I think my university should pay me for emotional damages for having to write a thesis exposé. To the amount of whatever I need to go on a short trip to Helsinki to recharge from this bs and to get a tattoo and a coffin full of Fazer chocolates.
#i've been in the library since 6pm or so and have not gotten a single letter done#because i genuinely Do Not Know what to write about this#i don't WANT to write a thesis; having to write a thesis will be my last straw to a break-down if that terminography seminar doesn't do it#and i don't get the point of a thesis anyway. no one but me and my advisor and maybe two examinors will read it#i'll not bring forth any important new knowledge to use#even if i did magically discover some groundbreaking new way to teach second languages - which is not the focus of my paper#like i wanted because the head of institute said no - it would still mean nothing because no one's gonna read it anyway#i'm literally just some rando with subpar grades and papers and motivation and dedication to my studies except for the classes i like#and feel like i'm actually learning something important#which is another point: I'm studying translation and interpreting. I'll do a final translation exam in both language directions.#why is that not enough for a degree? it's literally what I study. i couldn't give less of a shit about scientific theories about translatio#yes you should hear about them sometime and it can be useful. but i don't give a single fuck about research etc.#i want to translate and subtitle and maybe at some point interpret. and add a second language besides english because well#the job market but also very importantly my own interests#can't take the swedish course because it interferes with another class; can take a ukrainian class but it's very low-level#can't take a polish or bosnian or serbian or croatian class because they only have higher levels right now#could take a chinese or japanese class but it's... a lecture? with 40+ people in it? how are you supposed to learn a language from a lectur#tried a portuguese class once but the teacher was absolutely awful. nice but so bad at teaching.#and every now and then i think maybe i should learn how to teach a language to someone because oh my GOD would i love to help people#coming here to learn german in ways they'll actually use and see them improve and help them be excited about learning!#or go somewhere else and teach german maybe while also learning the language of the country i'm in#and i thought maybe writing a thesis about second language acquisition and teaching would be a nice way to find out how interested#i am in that actually. but no. my topic now is... hold on. hmmm.#man i'M not even sure. i submitted something and my advisor wrote me an email with a different suggestion for the title#and idk what i'm supposed to write about. not saying the depression isn't playing a role too but damn am i not excited about this#which is. a great start to writing a thesis when 90% of your work ethic comes from being excited about something or interested init#'The preparation of translation-oriented language competence at school using the example of English lessons at Austrian High Schools'#ah yes. someone help me write an exposé about that.#i don't know how and what to include and I don't want to either#come onnnnnn two days ago being at the library helped at least a little bit but now i've been here 3+ hours and i've got nothing
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Okay I did get distracted by a grade being posted and I am about to be both a nerd and a millennial but god ngl I do hate classes where you get full points on all your assignments but don't actually get any actual feedback on them. What is the point. If it's a class where everyone gets passing grades for making the effort but you get actual feedback and comments, that's great! But I would genuinely rather get points docked and get extensive comments on what I did well and what needed improvement and why than this.
#what is the POINT#like at that point it feels like busy work frankly! it doesn't feel like anyone's worrying about whether or not I learned something!#and like I can self reflect on my own learning. I'm good at that. that's fine. but a) not everyone can#and b) it REALLY does not help the perception that a degree is something you pay for but don't actually need to learn anything to get#which is a MASSIVE problem rn. there's no actual value placed on LEARNING THINGS.#like I know for a FACT that I have turned in B+ average assignments at best in this class.#just cuz I only have finite time and I gotta stay sane and it's not an area I'm going to go any further than surface level in.#the overview is good and important! but the work I'm doing is reflective of my investment and frankly it should've earned a B+ at most.#like at least if you're docking a point and telling me what for I know you READ the damn thing. christ alive.#you may ask yourself 'oh my god why are you like this' and the answer is. have you looked at my blog.#anyway. okay nOW I'm going to bed.
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I'm enjoying the fontaine storyline so far I feel like it's progressing the plot forward a good amount and we're getting some rlly cool and important lore info but I Am sort of like. can we solve an insane crisis now. can we have a boss fight please. I enjoy that we're learning a bunch of stuff but it feels like we're Only learning a bunch of stuff and not actually Doing anything of monumental plot importance we're just sort of watching all of the other characters do it
#like I enjoyed the newest archon quest a lot it was great it kept me engaged!!! but also we didn't do anything#like we weren't even there to help fix the water thing because we were sitting silently watching arlechino interrogate furina???#everything we've done so far in fontaine feels very idle#the trial last patch was so low stakes in like. the grand scheme of things and just served as world building/an elaborate lore drop#most of the archon quest this patch was investigating childe#and then when the big high stakes thing Did happen we weren't even really there for the important part#we did nothing at the tea party w arlechino and furina except watch it happen#and again I'm enjoying it!! we're learning a lot and thats rlly cool!! important world and character information is being gained!!!#but we aren't Doing anything or Solving any problems like we did in other nations#and I guess its sort of a nice break? but doing random tasks while watching Other characters fix the crisis is sort of getting old#like I think fontaine has had some of the best written storyline thus far#I just want to actually participate in something of real significance to the world or nation as a whole#hopefully they are just doing like. a fuck ton of exposition for The Big Crisis and its gonna feel extra important#but like. chop chop#never thought I'd actually be Asking for a boss fight 😭#ghost posts#text#genshin
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After seeing the recent II episode, I've seen ND fans discussing how Cabby is treated in the episode. I also saw Justin comment his thoughts on the discussion as well.
Part of me want to share some insight into how I rewrote a scene in my script for Rise of Relics to remove an ableist implication of Nicodemus' behavior towards Nikey (see this post here about it). There's also another scene I plan to rewrite as well that has a few ableist implications and I want to show how to improve it with research and listening to those with physical disabilities.
I'm not sure if it's alright for me to share this, as some of the II fans have similar symptoms to Cabby's memory issues, I do not want to speak over them as I do not have any memory symptoms as they do. What I do have, in reference to the scene in Rise of Relics, is anxiety and (possible) undiagnosed OCD, and Nikey is written with the implication of having both of these. The other scene I want to later rewrite is also in reference to how Nikey finds comfort in others, sometimes invasively due to having poor coping skills, and Nicodemus is often the person who helps ground her.
I think it's best for me to listen to those who are most affected by the episode before I say anything. But, one thing I say is that condemning a character's aids and accommodations they use to cope with their symptoms is wrong. Showing unhealthy coping mechanisms is okay (carefully saying this while keeping in mind my own experience coping with anxiety), but I do think this episode should have been written with more care.
To Justin and the Inanimate Insanity team, please consult sensitivity readers for your scripts in the future, please.
#just reminded myself to also consult sensitivity readers as well#couldn't afford them a couple of months ago though; but still an important task before finally working on the actual pages for RFR#Back to Cabby when I first saw her in the first few episodes I just thought she was into writing or record-keeping because she uses folders#to keep a record of everyone she meets; either just in general or for the purpose of the game#But after the episode of her disability reveal when her record keeping was an aid for her to keep memories otherwise they fade away#It just feels like a throwaway gag#Admittedly I did not catch how odd that was until I started reading fan analyses of Cabby by disabled II fans and their concerns#of her representation as a disabled character in the series; along with her record keeping aid being presented as a negative trait#rather than something that helps her keep memories#Now the recent episode is even weirder of her throwing away her folders like it was holding her back which is eeeeeeh not great tbh#would it be better for Bot to work on a new folder with Cabby?#a mutual collaboration to understand each other with Bot respecting Cabby's aids and Bot allowing her to understand them?#it's rare I comment on things like this#but considering what I'm also writing I think it's important to learn how not to write representation#because bad representation with no research nor input can result in possible harm and alienating your audience#as well as perpetuating harmful stereotypes#inanimate insanity#critique#ii neg#ii negativity#tw discourse#objectshows#textposty
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I was thinking about this while helping my friend beta something yesterday like… I vaguely remember that at one time, I felt (punctuation) periods were too harsh. They had a sense of finality about them. They were too loud and vibrant. Commas were more comforting to use. They felt softer and not as exact. And then I look at my writing now and there's nothing I love more than a period. I love how sharp it is. I love its finality.
Like I can't understate enough how much a period makes a statement. Like that's what it's supposed to do, yes, but it's more than that. It tells the audience that what precedes is true. It's a fact. And when you yield a period properly, it emphasizes and highlights what is stated. It stands out. It's final. It has weight. It's such a powerful thing that it's addicting to use.
#thoughts#personal#writing#i should be putting this in the main post but the main post has a vibe that i don't want to interrupt#the way to properly wield a period is by varying the lengths of your sentences#a good key to remember is that long sentences are meant for providing information#*long sentences are not meant to stand out*#when you want to highlight something that is key you use a short sentence#making it short makes it clear to the audience that the statement is meant to hold weight#however it is important to keep variety in the lengths of your sentences#a short sentence after a short sentence does not stand out as much as a short sentence after a long sentence#think of it like this#if you have two short people standing next to each other they look normal#if you put a short person next to someone really tall it makes the short person look shorter than they actually are#their shortness really stands out#this is called juxtaposition#i can make a whole essay based off of the importance of juxtaposition too HAHA#periods can be loud but i highly recommend trying to learn how to use them#one of you said you like hearing my thought process when i write so i hope you find this one interesting!!#now i'm gonna speak more off the top of my head but i feel that ppl that dislike periods are very sensitive to the flow in their stories#there is a flow to a sentence when you use commas and periods tend to disrupt that flow#a period/short sentence is too abrupt and jarring#at least that's what i assume they feel#however imho i feel ppl that feel this way are overly sensitive to the flow they perceive exists in their sentences/paragraphs#i have to tell myself this constantly that things that flow seamlessly aren't always a good thing#imagine your writing like an orchestral piece. are they always flowy and legato? or are there moments where the music jumps or changes?#and what do those sudden jumps do? they wake the audience. they catch the audience's attention. they add variety and interest#imagine an orchestral piece that the tempo never changes. the volume never shifts. every note bleeds into the next#you get put to sleep!#so a period may seem abrupt in the scheme of the sentence but look at it from the view of the whole paragraph. it may be better than u thin
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wait why is dmc1 good
#not that i thought it was bad just#i mean listen. i've played the first couple of missions twice now but i finally like. y'know. went beyond that#it's just really really working for me in a way it didn't the previous two times#i'm still in this castle though. like i kinda feel like i'll never get out but that's probably not true right. that would be really weird#anyway i kinda got through the learning curve the first couple of times and i've been thinking about it and not playing it for days#and i've been nauseatingly hooked on sdv (again) since the 1.6 update. (70 hours. probably a little more. In The Past Like 2 Weeks. wth)#like i'm actually sick and antsy doing it but i can't stop like that kinda hooked. (boooo. i have more important shit to do...)#so i think it's like im purging with something a) new b) very different and c) that i've been thinking about for days#anyway fuck some of the platforming though. this should not be a game that requires me to hop on moving circles and shit#i'm not good at it but i'm having a good time :) also dante... dante's kinda silly... (<- can smell a blorbo on the rise)#i love his descriptions of things. he'll be like 'it's a statue of their glorious leader riding off to battle. psh whatever what am i doing#so yeah. hopefully i won't fall out of it again because i really do like it so far. but with my brain who knows
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I thought I was done being feral about Tamagotchis but no, it was just a lull
#I was already interested in getting a Gotchi for the past couple months and then KKClue dropped that video (praise be)#And Then I learned that there was a cheap way of purchasing legit Japanese Gotchis?? I may uh. Have. Purchased a few#I never really had That Moment as a kid or teen of being impulsive with money - I'd either save it up and get one big thing#Or I'd buy little things until I eventually ran out - and that habit has kinda continued into adulthood lol#Nowadays the one big thing is usually something like a new computer when my old one dies but it certainly is a big thing lol#And I like getting little things like my puzzle cubes <3 But I'm fairly miserly!#Well. Until.#I've finally hit The Phase of impulsive purchases because of a perfect storm of Things Happening lol#I first wrote down that I wanted to start looking for Tamagotchis in March of this year and I was going about it rather casually to start#Just looking around Big Box stores to check pricing - then various toy and vintage stores to see if they had stock#Most of them didn't but I did get in some delightful networking :D I want to go back and continue!#I finally broke down a week ago and checked Amazon for the ''custom'' shell designs because I like the galaxy one hehe#And then - that accursed video (affectionate)#I may have watched it five times so far lol and then actually bit the bullet and checked out the sponsor and Fucking Hell#I can never get into gambling this does absolutely wack shit to my brain it's only half about the Gotchis themselves anymore#That said I am very excited for my Mesutchi to arrive! I really want to get an Osutchi to go with her and a Gen 1 and and and#I want to collect all the Angelgotchs so bad you don't understand I Must Have them in all the colours it's very important#I'm even considering doing some kind of Project with them once they arrive I don't know it's just all so exciting#I'm feeling very normal#Oh yeah and barely related other than IRL silliness - I finally got a haircut! :D#It'll take a bit for my sona to update but it was today! All sorts of things haha
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