#and being in love with a transformer is queer as fuck
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Tbh, I think if you read an mxtx novel with the expectation that the story’s hero is meant to learn some valuable lesson that fundamentally changes their character and views on life, then you are reading her books wrong. There’s not a single mxtx protag (currently) in existence who changes by the end of the story. It’s the world they live in that is changed because of their actions:
—Shen Yuan’s Shen Qingqiu transforms a toxic masculinity fantasy into a queer romance in which the unhappy stallion protagonist with a harem in the 100s is given his monogamous happy ending with a husband he actually loves and values with reciprocity. They fuck off to their forever honeymoon after exposing the corruptness of the cultivation world that ruined Luo Binghe’s life to begin with, and all of this was only possibly because Shen Yuan was just a genuinely nice fucking person. The world lives to see another day and a fuckton of people who died (or didn’t even get to exist) in the original stallion novel get to live long, more fulfilled lives in Shen Yuan’s revision.
—Wei Wuxian is killed for sticking up for a condemned clan, is resurrected against his will, and still stands by his actions in his first life while protecting those that continued to wrongfully condemn him. As a reward, the corpses of the people he died protecting save him and his loved ones (and the rest of the bystanders who killed them), he bags himself the most perfect and perfectly matched man in the cultivation world, and he continues to help others and do what he wants to the ire of the cultivation world who are now too embarrassed to fight him. The younger generation look to him as a beloved teacher, protector, and role model to aspire towards.
—Xie Lian rebelled against hierarchy as a beloved prince of a prospering kingdom, then as a beloved god against the older gods, then as a reviled scraps god against the then most popular gods of the present day. He was always willing to lend a hand to anyone who needed it and to never hold resentment even if that kindness blew up in his face (and it often did). He gets to marry the man (ghost) who has seen him at his best and absolute worst and chooses him unconditionally, something no one else has ever done before. At the end of the novel, he is the god that all the other gods look to for guidance and strength.
None of these stories humble these characters for being good people. Even when their morally righteous actions net them unimaginably terrible results, even when they falter in the face of their failures, they ultimately remain true to their goodness. And none of the books humble them for that, because being good is not a character flaw. So in short: please stop talking about how mxtx protags “needed” to learn valuable lessons to “be good people” when they were already good people from the very beginning. These stories are not about how the world changes people but how genuinely good people can change the world just by actively being kind even with no benefit to themselves and especially if that kindness leads to detriment.
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I heard a raw line from Guilllermo Del Toro the other day about monsters being the perfect way to express human failure:
“…monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection, and they allow and embody the possibility of failing.”
And i was wondering your take on this quote in relation to things like vampire and werewolf and other semi-monster subtexts. “Monstrous” humans that are ironically allowed to act more human more often than… humans. I just find the attempt to make an outlet for imperfection while still at large criticizing it fascinating.
I mean, yeah, there's a long history of interpreting monsters through queer, anti-colonial, feminist and other Outsider lenses for exactly those reasons. The monster is the Other who is vilified by the in-group, which represents all that the in-group hates. The monster must, by its nature, fail to live up to the standards and expectations of the in-group, which is why it must be destroyed. But that also means the monster is free from the standards and expectations of the in-group, including oppressive and bigoted ones.
So, as an example, if you're queer, and rhetorically treated as inhuman and monstrous and diseased anyway, or eugenically classified as a deviant mutation or sub-derivation of "real" people, there is real appeal and a real sense of resistance in claiming monsterhood, in embracing it and glorying in it.
In part, that's what the rallying cry "we're here, we're queer, get used to it!" meant and still means. It is a reclaiming of monsterhood as a source of strength and community and pride, rather than shame. Slurs are used to Other queer people, to set them apart from "real" people and mark them out as a monstrous deviation from the virtuous norm - slurs are used to call us monsters. And thus a lot of queer people find a lot of power and freedom in reclaiming them, in turning their Othering into a flag to rally around.
And I think that's still a big part of the appeal of the monster, honestly, that freedom from being what someone else thinks you ought to be.
If you're a monster, you don't have to have the perfect body, you don't have to suppress your lust or your love. You don't have to shave your body hair or dress correctly for your assigned gender, or have a white picket fence house with a spouse and 2.3 children. You don't have to sit primly at the dinner table, you don't have to repress your emotions, you don't have to hate the foreigner or despise the gays or fear the trans agenda. You don't have to have a small, straight nose or perfect cheekbones, you don't have to wait to fuck until you're married, or pretend you want to fuck at all. You don't have to want to get rich or be a CEO, you don't have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps or be on your grindset, or cheer when the cops clear out a homeless camp.
To be a monster is to be free from the inhumanity that is forced on us by white supremacy, by fatphobia, by heteronormativity, by imperialism, and by the interests of capital. To be a monster is to be human in all the ways that are inconvenient to oppression.
... but I went off on a tangent there a little bit - vampires and werewolves, right. I have no theoretical or academic basis for any of this, so this is entirely a personal hot take, but I think vampires are perhaps a bit more about "passing" as a fantasy. Not necessarily in a gender sense, but the ability to keep your true nature undetected by the "normal" folk, while the secret things that make you different also make you dangerous and powerful. Surviving by stealing sustenance from a world that hates you, on terms that are entirely yours to dictate. "I will survive even if it kills you," that kind of vibe.
Werewolves, on the other hand, feel more like a defiant, angry embrace of the monstrous. Transforming into something vast and powerful and furious, growing out of your skin, out of your form, out of your boundaries; howling your nature to the moon and mauling any motherfucker who has a problem with it. Giving in to all the beastly unnatural urges, and diving into the horrible monstrous wants and desires that boil inside you (which, remember, include things like Not Wanting To Fuck or Wanting To Hold A Girl's Hand In A Lesbian Sort Of Way). Less the "I outfoxed your social game and drank you dry" slick vampire power fantasy and more the "call me a slur one more time and I'm going to wear your entrails like a fucking scarf" power fantasy.
Again, that's just personal hot takes, everyone's understanding of the monstrous in relation to themselves is different. I've seen a number of genderfluid and nb people use monstrousness as a way to defy occupying a shape that can be gendered for example.
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This isn't my art, (it's made by @ TheHearthFox over on Twitter) but I wanted to make a long post about why this work in particular speaks to me so goddamn much. I think such a massive part of the queer experience -- and also the furry experience -- is about the abstract. This can be seen in so many different aspects of furry "culture," from the concept of fursonas to kink and and other fetish content. You and I will never know what it's like to be a werewolf and transform under the full moon into the form of a big hulking furry beast. However, us furries create art and other works about the idea of it anyway. We never will be able to be our fursonas -- our often idealized and "perfect" versions of ourselves -- and part of that really hurts. It hurts so bad honestly, to the point where I can't quite put it into words. In terms of queer culture, I will never know what it is like to be a cis woman, and that also messes with me a lot. Yet, I'm still trans, my identity can change, I can perceive myself as whatever I damn well please. Identity allows you to shape yourself and the world around you in your own image, even if not everyone can see its beauty.
We have ways to get at least somewhat close to how we feel in our abstraction. VRChat allows you to make an avatar of what ever you want, whether it's your fursona or just an ideal version of you. Hell, it doesn't even have to be you, it could be anyone or anything really. We have a whole industry based around creating big ass costumes that allow people to at least look something like their desired character. But it's not enough. It's never enough. I ain't religious, but sometimes I feel like I've bitten the apple, been kicked out of the garden, and now I'm left to fend for myself with an identity that my physicality will never match. When I made my fursona using an avatar base in vrchat and configured it to match my real world body scales and looked down, I honestly started crying. I take the headset off, and I'm still me. Everyone takes the headset or fursuit off and they're still the body they were given, not what they would choose. Our reality is objective, and there's no way to really change that. We can act like animal people online all day, but the moment that screen shuts off, the moment we walk away, that warm, fuzzy feeling (hehe) fades.
To think abstract is to think beyond what you can normally sense. You will never get to brush the knots out of your fur in the morning, or play with your antennae while anxious (I see you bug people). We can still have those ideas, however. I know I'm on the third goddamn paragraph and I'm just now talking about the artwork I linked but this is an important concept to me. Usually, when I think of the abstract, it feels unreal, "fuzzy" so to speak. However, in HearthFox's piece, the objective reality appears out of focus and pixelated. It feels like even if we are unable to fully embrace the abstract, we can still embrace what we can of it, and bring some sort of color to a world that doesn't feel like it is made for us. The colors being outside of the lines could suggest that our abstract perception is maybe just "painted on" to the world around us, but is that a bad thing? Is it bad to take things in from the world around you, but still look at it all in your own unique way? I think not. This also isn't only about therian identity, or furry identity, or even queer identity -- it's also about neurodivergence. You are never in the wrong for thinking about the world in a way that is viewed as "non-standard" by the rest of the world. If you see yourself as a wolf, bee, fox, bear, raccoon, a fucking plane, it's not a bad thing. We can still identify however we want, and this modern way of looking at identity is the best way for us to embrace the abstract.
Go wild, go fucking stupid. Love yourself, if you're a fox, be a fox, there are ways you can feel that way, even if it's not all of the time. We can fight, we can love, we can still find ways to elation, even if sometimes existence itself feels wrong to you. This work is but one side of abstract thinking. Look at the color the fox has compared to the objective. Look how the fur drapes, how it runs down the body, or how the snout expresses emotion. Sometimes it feels melancholic, but you cannot tell me that trying your absolute damnedest to live your identity doesn't at least bring some color to your otherwise dreary and unfocused world.
Stay safe, love yourself no matter what.
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I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about
If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.
As for the rant
Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.
While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)
But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.
Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.
Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)
Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).
Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.
Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.
Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍
#post written while ugly sobbing a little#rescue bots was written with this complete and utter kindness baked into it#as much as i praise the show for the comedy and character aspects#which are still wonderful in their own right#it must not be understated how genuine and sweet and compassionate the writing is#the funny little flash animated robot show did more research than sia ever did with her shitshow hatecrime of a movie#maccadam#transformers#rescue bots
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Like. I have fifteen years of trust issues when it comes to this stuff so I'm in no way saying anything to defend anything or stating a belief or even truly theorizing here but. Rewatching seasons 1-5 really has me feeling like that. Those comments from That Interview HAVE to be sarcasm/trolling, right? Right????
Because the level of out of touch you'd have to be to think anyone invested in this show actually cares that Nandor is (barely) Guillermo's boss, or to think that they're not in gross, mushy, big, forever, life-changing, unhinged, kill and die for each other love...truly is breathtaking to me. To the point I kind of want to refuse to believe it's possible for someone directly involved in the show to BE that out of touch?
Especially after all the heavy lifting done in seasons 2-4 to eliminate any perceived power imbalance between them? Showing that Guillermo is immune to hypnosis and can best Nandor in a fight. The lengths gone to in order to illustrate how important they are to each other, how well they know each other.
Nandor's arc for two whole seasons of the show LITERALLY being looking for love in all the wrong places while Guillermo stands faithfully by his side, giving him the comfort and companionship he's so desperately seeking the whole time. MARWA AND ALL THE KISSING AND CUDDLING OF GUILLERMO AT THEIR LITERAL WEDDING RECEPTION AFTER NANDOR WISHES FOR HER TO LIKE WHAT HE LIKES. Nandor's immediate and obvious jealousy when Guillermo introduces Freddie. Nandor's grief when he thinks Guillermo is dead. The way Nandor can't handle it when Guillermo leaves in general. Guillermo visiting the worst humiliation a vampire can experience upon Nandor and Nandor just...getting over it? Helping complete his transformation? Helping give him his humanity back when Guillermo realizes this isn't what he wants? Breaking one of the greatest vampire taboos in the process like it's nothing? The frankly stunning revelation that he's always known Guillermo wasn't ready, and that his holding off has always been FOR GUILLERMO?
And Guillermo's sadness whenever Nandor pushes him away. The first time we see him cry is because Nandor told him to take that other offer. Guillermo being willing to die to save Nandor (and Nandor actually almost dying to save Guillermo). Guillermo's obvious jealousy and protectiveness when it came to Nandor's thing with Gail. Guillermo rescuing Nandor from himself with the cult. Nandor being the first one he reveals his secret vampire killer heritage to. Nandor being the last one Guillermo tells about his turning, because he doesn't want to hurt him. Nandor's indifference at the end of season 4 being the thing that actually pushes Guillermo to go to Derek, despite every other setback and loss they've suffered that year. Guillermo literally saying the words with his mouth "I love Nandor the most."
Also just. The two of them LITERALLY being the embodiment of what the other one wants most AND being the one to pull the other back from their most self-destructive attempts to get it? I mean COME ONNNNNNN.
I know TV writers have a long and fucking stupid history of doing this shit. I do. I know it. But like...this show is already so fucking queer? And it's so in-your-face INTENTIONAL about Guillermo and Nandor's relationship? To the point it's almost been the A plot of an entire fucking season? Between my trust issues and my media literacy and my queer little heart's stupid insistence on hoping...I'm struggling, fam.
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hello!
Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas 🎄🎁🎉 😄
I was gonna ask when the series had gone on a little longer, but since you got gifted "Do A Powerbomb", I was wondering if you'd checked out DWJ's Transformers run?
Have a wonderful day! 🌠
I have! I've been following it as it comes out and was completely enamored with it by the end of the first issue, which is why I wanted to read Do a Powerbomb (which also completely owns)
After IDW lost the Transformers license I kind of dreaded what a new publisher might do with the property. IDW had pushed Transformers into so many new and exciting directions over the years, giving me some of my favorite Transformers stories ever and shaping other parts of the franchise for years to come (and also making a ton of Transformers canonically queer). The last thing I wanted was for a new publisher to throw all that out and just go back to square one with easy G1 cartoon nostalgia. Especially after I ended up being really unenthused with the post-continuity reboot "IDW2" era, I worried that it could be years and years before we got another new Transformers comic that really spoke to me like the MTMTE/RiD era did
And then Daniel Warren Johnson's Transformers dropped from Skybound. Despite leaning so hard into G1 cartoon aesthetics, and despite being part of a new shared universe with the okay-but-not-amazing Void Rivals by Robert Kirkman and some GI Joe comics I don't really care about, I was cautiously optimistic because I'd previously heard really good things about DWJ's other work. And I've just been absolutely blown away by it. It's already one of the greatest Transformers comics ever made
From the very first page you can tell it's doing new things with the traditional Transformers iconography, while also tapping into the heart of the series better than anything else I've seen in years. The hand-inked art can be a little loose and messy, but that helps give it so much energy, ESPECIALLY in the inventive fight scenes. Whether it's vehicle mode action, Optimus doing literal wrestling moves on Decepticons, or even just a panel of someone transforming, there is SO much life in all of DWJ's drawings. But he also cares about tying things to the human cast in really compelling ways. We've already gotten so many good scenes between the robots and the humans that give it so much heart. The deer scene with Optimus and Spike went viral for a reason, it was instantly one of the best Optimus Prime scenes ever written. It's not just about the robots or the humans, it's about the dichotomy between them. He gets it
I love a lot of IDW's comics that are just about robots interacting with other robots many light years from Earth and barely ever even transforming on the page, but like. This is the comic you wanna hand to someone to be like "This is what Transformers is about. This is why it fucking rules"
Seriously, though. Anyone with even a passing interest in Transformers should be reading these. I am constantly on the edge of my seat waiting for the next issue these days. Look, Optimus literally suplexes Starscream in the first fucking issue YOU HAVE TO READ THIS
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so.. i sure feel like i invested a lot into a show just for them to not care in the end. and this isn't a 'wah they killed of my fave character so show bad'.
the pacing felt weird, right? i wonder if they wanted 10 episodes but the network only gave them 8? or maybe they just didn't know how to end the show. maybe they're scared they won't get a season 3 and so rushed the end of season 2?
but to build up izzy, to have him talk about belonging to something... only to have him die without anyone telling him they love him. yeah ed said they're family but like. the whole thing felt so sudden, from him being the one with richard to getting shot to dying and then to suddenly haha the silly guitar music is playing guys its funny joke time. like. ed was upset as izzy was dying but then it seemed at his burial that no one really cared. it would have been more impactful if his death had been the final scene of the season.
but wouldn't it have been much better to show izzy finding a family? to have him captain the revenge? to contrast with season 1 and how the crew hated him when he was in charge. to end season 2, end the show, with him captaining the crew and having their respect and their love?
because it really didn't feel like he died for the crew, for his family. because he push someone else out of the way to save them he just got outsmarted by richard (since when is izzy that stupid or not strong enough to hold onto a man?) and got shot. like idk you could have had him die protecting ed or stede or the crew. how on earth could izzy not hold onto a man who's physically weaker than him and how the hell did he let someone else grab his fucking gun. or wait im re-watching it looks like richard just.. grabbed a gun out of his own coat.. i.. did no one search this man and take his weapons off him.. what the fuck.. no im sorry there's no excuse that doesn't make sense for no one to have taken his weapons away that just seems like bad writing.
if you were going to kill him off he deserved a better death.
but he deserved a better ending than this. what's the point of him having this arc of finally caring about people if he dies and it seems no one really cared other than ed and fang?
omg i just read as i'm writing this that jenkins does have a plan for a season 3. okay so now it's only acceptable if con wanted to leave the show so they had to kill off izzy but they still should have done it better. have him fending off the english so the crew can escape. have him taking a bullet for ed. something that means something. omg.
and ed and stede... i don't feel like they're ready for this yet. the only way they should be living together is the end of the show. not the end of a season. they literally only just got back together they need time to grow together.
you really said its a show about people finding love and happiness and then killed off the queer disabled character who got to die while telling his abuser that he loved him. the ending feels like the show saying 'actually not everyone deserved love, if you were an izzy fan you were right to get hate' like. he deserved to be loved by the crew, to be told that they cared. but he didn't get that.
also um?? the crew dont love ed. he literally only just finished torturing them, some of them have ptsd and trauma from what he did to them, and even if they want to forgive him they certainly do not love him yet. they cared much more about you izzy than they did about ed.
and then to have him shot in the left side, the place that ed showed in season 1 was a 'safe place' to get injured i. what.
where the fuck was roach? just watching? not trying to help? does he either not care or not think it's worth trying to save him??
IM SORRY BUTTONS CAN TRANSFORM INTO A BIRD, AUNTIE CAN SURVIVE AN EXPLOSION, JACKIE AND SWEDE ARE IMMUNE TO POISON, BUT IZZY GETTING SHOT IN HIS LEFT SIDE UH OH THAT'S DEATH SORRY.
i love the crew, i love zheng. i like stede and ed's romance but they're never the reason i watched the show. but i found izzy's arc the most meaningful to me. and i. i really don't think i'm going to watch a season 3 if there is one. not just because izzy's not there, but that last episode just felt like they don't care or don't know how to write anymore in a way that i enjoy at least.
to see someone like izzy (who's backstory i thought we would get, at least who the ring belongs too that he wears around his neck but no okay) he disliked because he has to be, he doesn't know how to be soft and be loved or how to love others. to show that a person who has been hurt so much and built themself so hard and buried their real self so far below.. to see that person be able to find themself again, to love others, to let themself be loved, to others see who they are. that meant so much.
so much for this being a happy queer show. for a lot of people he felt like this representation of an older queer man who's just coming out of the closet, exploring himself, there's not another character like that. the disability representation with him this season i've seen has meant a lot of people. his arc isn't the same as any others and a lot of people have found something very personal to connect to in that and i think they have a right to be upset.
to say it makes sense for him to be killed off for the narrative because ed needed to let him go... sounds cruel? izzy is a person, he's not a narrative object to make ed feel better about himself. to have ed abuse izzy, physically abuse him, and then izzy's arc ending with him apologising as if it was his fault (yes he encouraged blackbeard, but please let's not victim blame, let's take male victims of abuse seriously) and saying he still loved ed i just..
to say it makes sense narratively for him to get killed off for other reasons i don't fully disagree, but i think it was too soon, and i think at least it should have been in a way that made sense like him protecting the crew, not allowing richard to STILL HAVE HIS GUN ON HIM DID NO ONE CONFISCATE HIS WEAPONS?? or did he take izzy's gun in which case HOW how would izzy allow richard to take his gun. he's smart and a capable fighter what is this.
i saw someone else say izzy's death had no meaning and no consequence. and they're right. the crew moved on straight away and forgot about him (apart from fang, shout out to fang), and seemed like they didn't care. they aren't seeking revenge. they aren't angry. so it's for.. ed and stede to get together? izzy deserves more than that. and they could have still gotten together anyway... if it's for ed to move on then fuck that. an abuser doesn't get to move on from the abuse he caused because his victim fucking died.
i'd been looking forward to this episode all week after i really terrible week and well. should have known nothing this week was going to plan.
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hello . i would like to talk about my own sexuality/relationship headcanons for the wbn trio since it’s a topic of conversation today :3
jack and elsa are both bisexual. this is a semi-recent discovery for both of them, given that most of elsa’s sexual partners have been women and most of jack’s sexual and romantic partners have been men. had they been asked about their sexualities pre-special, they’d both probably identify themselves as some flavor of gay (here meaning same-sex attracted, rather than an umbrella term like queer!). there is a reason why i have referred to the two of them running into each other in the maze as The Bisexual Jumpscare.
jack is also asexual! he’s not particularly sex-repulsed, he just largely views sex as a bonding activity and a way to make his partner feel good/express romantic love. this is fine by ted because uhh. i mean. let’s all be honest with ourselves here, it is very doubtful that my man has a libido anymore or the hardware to make it happen.
on the other end of the spectrum, you have elsa who only rarely indulged in sex as a way to scratch the human need itch. most of her past partners were one-night stands and she never stuck around for long, either way. but, once she and jack got together, her libido went fucking haywire and now she’s constantly (willingly!) dragging him into ulysses’s old bed chambers. good for her. good for them.
ted only the other hand is Gay gay. he did have a wife pre-transformation as per comics canon but, at the time they were married, he hadn’t really realized or even explored that particular facet of himself. workaholic scientist, yknow. he was operating under the typical “oh i guess i have to get married now because that’s what people Of My Age do.” there also might have been some period-accurate comphet involved, depending on how old he actually is.
ironically and perhaps to metatextually lean into monsters being queer-coded, becoming what he is now, while obviously a traumatic experience at the time, eventually allowed ted the freedom to explore this facet of himself and become comfortable with it.
jack and ted call each other husbands. they are not legally married. it just kind of started as a bit one day and it stuck. at what point did it stop being a bit? they don’t know and have not addressed it. jack would love to wear a ring regardless but he’s very worried about accidentally severing a finger if he forgets to take it off before the full moon.
on the hand, if anyone refers to jack as anything less neutral than elsa’s partner, she Will start gagging. she is forty one years old, she is nobody’s fucking girlfriend. wife is also off the table. she’d get married for practical tax reasons or something maybe but it would have to just be signing a paper in a courthouse with one (1) witness. an actual wedding ceremony (having to bear her stupid soft feelings in front of everyone she knows!!!) would be akin to a particularly humiliating trip through the nine circles of hell for her.
i call them the people’s polycule but they’re really more like a poly v with jack as the midpoint. ted and elsa are decidedly not romantically interested in each other at all but they Are besties united by their love for their beloved little bow wow. i know we have confirmation of the “she’s not into dogs” line but my headcanon is and always will be that the thing ted says to jack to make him laugh at the end is only kind of a joke about being willing to try opening things up if he wanted to.
(jack immediately dismissed this as A Joke and that was when ted knew he was in for a whole lot of yearning. god help him.)
#werewolf by night#mcu#jack russell#elsa bloodstone#ted sallis#IDK meta time i suppose. i’ve thought about this A Lot and this seemed like as good a time as any to put it all out there
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https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/739064506502791168/fandom-problem-4499-i-think-sometimes-people-get
Thing is op
People like to use "coded" as an excuse to harrass others over a fictional character
"this character is minor-coded therefor if you like them or draw them sexy then you are a pedo"
"this character is gay-coded so if you ship them qith the opposite gender your homophobic"
"this character is autism-coded so if you dont see them that way you are ableist."
"this character is poc coded and if you dont portray them that way then you are racist"
And then they go and rip people to shreds over it. And most of the time they are actually "coded" as anything.
Ill give you a good example as to why coding should just fucking die in fandom.
In transformers (all of them afaik) there is a sentient ROBOT named Jazz. He is often voiced by a black voice actor, even in the early days of Generation 1 in 1984. Though it changes a few times Jazz is well known for his accented voice. Jazz (the music) is also known to be pioneered by black people.
In a way jazz is black coded. He is designed with all these elements related to black people.
The thing is. Jazz is a fucking robot. "Jazz" is the name he chose for himself because his cybertronian name does not translate or cannot be spoken by humans. Jazz is also a type of music he only heard when he arrived on earth and is something he loves, hence why he chose the name. He chooses to express himself in such a way because its what he enjoys.
It does not mean he is black. A white person can do all that because they have a love for jazz music. It isnt going to make them "black coded"
He is also again, a robot. Not human. Not even organic.
However of all the problems ive seen in the TF fandom the one about whether you should draw a human version of Jazz as black or white is probably the one thats sets people who give a shit off the most.
It doesn't matter what characteristics a character has. It doesnt matter if Jazz is drawn as black or white. Cuz he isn't human. Its literally up to fan interpretation and none of them are wrong but people want to shit fling, and react hostile over others not drawing him as black anyway.
Same could be said about a certain more popular pink skinned character (who is also human and japanese but when have people ever viewed japanese people as important.)
You can have your queer coded villains. Doesn't actually say they are queer. Hell in the past it would be done as a way to demonize queerness and traits. But queer people still loved those villains because they could relate to their tragedies.
What "coding" actually is, is a part of the design process to add depth and character. It's an inspiration born from reality. But it's not always that the character is meant to be that thing.
Theres a character from genshin impact i could say is "DID-coded" because when she falls alseep or is so stressed she passes out there is another version of her that takes her place that she doesnt know about.
In the same vein theres the game "At Dead of Night" (recommend it, its a horror game) where the main antagonist is possessed and murders people. They even had to put a disclaimer that the character didnt have DID and the game wasnt made to demonize people with DID or portray them as unstable serial killers. However despite the creators saying that, fans still "DID-code" the antagonist, not out of hatred for people with DID but because some people with DID still relate to the character. Not so much the killing people but the struggle the antagonist has with "being possessed". Having DID can be a frustrating and tiring experience and not many cope with it very well even when they do no harm. Feeling of loss of control is very relatable even without DID.
Regardless the rampant "coding everything trend" in fandom has caused a new "ship war" like wave of harrassment. If you dont view a character this was your a horrible person and you deserve *insert graphic content and threats of harm and suibaiting and more*
coding can be a cool thing to discover while analyzing a character or even creating one. But its become hated with good reason because people have no reason left in them. Coding is a cool way of adding depth and nuance to a character and would actually REALLY help beginners with their "bland" characters. Unfortunately even thats discouraged, since it can be seen as "baiting" or "stereotyping" and sometimes appropriating culture. (But a giant sentient robot making his entire personality about jazz music isn't? Lol)
Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.
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Been on a werewolf kick recently. Any recommendations to scratch that itch? Love the blog btw
THEME: Werewolves
Thank you so much! Heck, have I got some werewolves for you!
Wolf Hounds, by Devin Fortman.
Wolf Hounds is a historical fantasy roleplaying game about the Benandanti, a society of werewolves dedicated to protecting their communities from supernatural threats. Uses a lightweight Apocalypse system based on John Harper's World of Dungeons: Turbo.
If you want a more action-based game about werewolves, then I definitely recommend Wolf Hounds. As members of the Benandanti, you play shapeshifters and magic users fleeing the Inquisition while also protecting your local communities from vampires and other supernatural threats. The game feels very similar to Powered by the Apocalypse games, but in specific circumstances, allows you to roll with advantage, or disadvantage, represented by a third dice. You then take the two best or worst results, depending if the situation was advantageous or detrimental.
The creator for this game has also created a campaign sourcebook, called Let Us Prey. There are some very interesting campaign hooks in there, including one in which a young monk has just discovered he is a werewolf - and is being framed for a recent murder. I absolutely recommend that you check it out!
Bite Marks, by Becky Annison / Black Armada.
The Pack is a deeply intimate and close family; like a family, sometimes it is full of love and happiness and sometimes it is brutal and dysfunctional. But love it or hate it, you can’t ignore it – it will shape you. Fearless Alpha, dedicated foot soldier, pacifist scholar or rebellious cub – your relationship with the Pack is the cornerstone of who and what you are.
In Bite Marks you’ll uncover the story of the Pack, exploring the relationships between Packmates, drawing out their loves, rivalries and betrayals. What are the cracks that could shatter the Pack and drown you in hate, and how much stress can those pressure points take before they explode?
PbtA games excel at examining relationships and the relationship of a werewolf pack can be used to explore a number of different kinds of familial relationships. Bite Marks will push your characters together and pull them apart, challenging them to honour or chafe against the role of a pack alpha. If you want gritty interpersonal conflict and collaborative storytelling, this is the game for you.
Howl at the Moon with Friends, by Litza Brown.
This is a TTRPG about catharsis. This game is a power fantasy. It's about running wild and free and facing no consequences and knowing that no roll is a bad roll.
If you want a game full of intimacy and wildness and freedom, this is probably worth checking out. Yet another PbtA game, you are saddled with only two stats, and given full license to go wild and break stuff. Your characters are encouraged to transform, to go berserk, to lash out, and to be really fucking cool. Litza Brownyn has a number of evocative and interesting games in her repertoire, so when I saw her name on this game, I definitely got excited.
Women are Werewolves, by 9th Level Games.
Women are Werewolves is an ENNIE-nominated card-based story game where players portray nonbinary characters in a family where only the women transform into werewolves. Using a beautiful deck of tarot-sized cards containing roleplaying prompts, players explore their relationships to gendered spaces, family customs, and queer and non-queer family members.
As a GM-less game, Women are Werewolves relies on a deck of carts to give your characters prompts. As a group, you’ll decide the setting as well as the level of bigotry you’re willing to explore in play. This is specifically a story about gender and what it means to be non-binary through a werewolf metaphor, so expect more stories about family relationships and less about dramatic transformations. The structure to the game gives you a lot to work with if you’re unfamiliar with this kind of game or these kinds of themes, and I really appreciate that.
Wolfspell, by Dig A Thousand Holes Publishing.
A prophecy told in your youth dictates that only fang and claw will rend your destiny, so you must be reborn as beast.
You gather with friends and transmogrify yourselves into wolves and place your destiny in the hands of the dice of Wolf and Blood!
Wolfspell looks like a game of deep emotions and grand action. You are young people burdened with a heavy prophecy, requiring you to take on wolf flesh to fulfill it. How exactly you became a wolf is up to each player. The storytelling is meant to be very collaborative, so I’d recommend picking this game up with folks who don’t mind providing a bit of their own narration as they play. The rules system is, along with a number of other games on this list, PbtA. This means that your characters will be faced with hard choices and mixed results as part of the process of play.
Games I've Recommended In the Past
Lesbian Werewolves on a Beach, by WhatNames
Silversworn, by fret.
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Chapter seven of Love is in the hands
I think it’s my favourite one yet (unless you count chapter 5 maybe). I gave Gojo too much rizz.
Summary
After getting kicked out of his home for being queer, Suguru comes across Satoru, his childhood sweetheart, in a strange gay bar that is owned by his new “family”: a bunch of queer social rejects who were taken in by Yuki, an eccentric matriarch. He finds a new home (and his long lost love) there.
Glimpse
“Was I that good?” Suguru jokes. A wise man once said good sex was transformative. “I think you’d make a great chef. You’re annoying enough to make it work. Ever thought about being a model though? It could help you afford your new dream,” Suguru suggests.
“Nah. Working for other people sounds like hell. The bar is only fine because it’s a family business. Besides, I don’t do much: just dancing around, serving customers, human resources and accounting,” Satoru says. He unwraps a stray lollipop and puts it in his partner’s mouth before repeating the action with another one, for himself. “Would you be mad if I posted nude photos on the internet and got paid for it?” he jokes.
Suguru gazes at him lovingly. “I’d only be mad if you asked someone else to take the photos. If your fanbase ever wanted more, I’d gladly fuck you in front of a camera to make them happy,” he jokes back.
“Let's not let those skills go to waste. Right?,” Satoru laughs. “Did you ever send these types of pictures to anyone? I’m convinced you take great ones. Just like a girl,” he says with a teasing smile.
“Not exactly,” Suguru answers. “That one guy I used to mess with had a whimper fetish or something so he asked me for nut videos. He was nice and gave great blow jobs so I didn’t mind,” he laughs. “Things didn’t end well between us so I deleted his number.”
“He fell in love with you?” Satoru asks.
“And wouldn’t take no as an answer,” Suguru finishes. It’s a story he knows all too well.
“Did you break his nose?” Satoru teases. Suguru had almost forgotten about that incident. To think such a thing would kill the unbearable distance between their lonely, aching hearts. Will they ever abide by the classical rules of romance?
“I only do that to people who hurt you,” Suguru announces with his eyes locked to Satoru. The blue pupils instantly shrink. “Have you, though? As Ki’s muse you must know your way around posing,” he points out.
Satoru turns his face and rests his cheek on the back of his hand. “Once or twice but it was transactional,” he mumbles. “I’d send you one though, for free,” he adds with one eye on Suguru.
“You’re way too generous, my love. Don’t do it when I’m in class though,” Suguru warns.
#i like this edit a lot#been sitting on this chapter for weeks#the urge to post chapter 8 tomorrow is strong#gojo satoru#geto suguru#kirara hoshi#itadori yuuji#yuki tsukumo#okkotsu yuuta#satosugu#gego#goge#satosugu fanfic#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#jjk
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The TFP "Airachnid" Problem
Like I said, I'm gonna make essays and discussions regarding women in transformers <3. The first person is tfp Airachnid.
TFP Airachhid is honestly, the litmus test for how I feel that Transformers fans can handle “mean” evil, women. Because the hate train that she received and the hate she still receives is massive, and it rounding up to “she killed cliffjumper” or “she’s mean to arcee and starscream” “she killed breakdown” just shows that this fandom wouldn’t really be ready for a female villain that was worse than her, or that just did not give a fuck.
And honestly, that is soo unforutante because we see male characters, like Starscream and even like Megatron, who are basically like Airachnid, if not worse, getting love and support for their actions.
She’s not supposed to be nice…she is a villain a straight up, in your face, villain and that is interesting. Yes, other Airachnids/Black Arachnias get love, but a lot of them are morally grey or complex.
A lot of them either turn good or ambiguous in the end, or aren't who we think they are, giving them a very empathetic past to almost excuse their actions.
Yet, when we have villainous, no morals Airachnid, which I find made her character far more intriguing, it seems that people just hated her, and would hate her for the things they loved with the male villains. She was the perfect mixture of Starscream and Knockout, with Megatron’s brutality, and she was just…hated for it.
And it made me realize that in terms of female villains, we haven’t ever had one like her. One that says ‘fuck you’ to morality and shit, because I just do not think the fandom could handle her. And I’m talking about in the TV Shows.
There are female villains in the live action, but that is another topic for another time.
Lastly, to me as a Black Woman, I cannot help but feel a lot of hatred toward Airachnid is people not checking their own racism and antiblackness. I think it’s easy for people to, not even realize it, but hold black women to higher moral standards than others. The point is that, Airachnid is voiced by a Black Woman and fandoms tend to be very critical toward Black women whether they be live action, voicing characters, etc. black women are either too much, or not enough.
Funnily enough, we are seeing this with ROTB with tons of people who aren’t black women, bashing the representation of Black women in ROTB and saying they aren’t doing enough or they’re pointless.
And this brings me back to Airachnid and how fandoms tend to, unknowingly be very heavy and critical toward black characters, but especially, Black women characters as well who are mean, or who do not fit to their standards. That is just my perspective from a black woman.
I’m not going to sit here and say that everyone who dislikes Airachnid is racist, but I will say separately that I think a lot of reasons for disliking Airachid are rooted in misogyny.
There has been no good reason for disliking Airachnid that I haven’t seen laced in some form of misogyny, because every reason she is hated, you can trace back to a male villain doing the same thing, if not worse.
Given fandom’s negative reaction toward Airachid, I wonder if we’ll actually ever see such a cold, heartless female villain like we did her. I think that only thing that makes things ‘acceptable’ is if a female villain has complexity, or has depth or will eventually be a ‘good’ guy again, or at most, morally ambiguous. That is what makes a female villain acceptable and frankly, that’s not fair but unfortunately I just feel…that’s how it is.
Another thing I noticed, which I will make in another essay, is how TFP tends to shame any form of ‘feminity’ especially in its women but also, in queer outwardly femme charaters, like Starscream.
The ‘tom boy’ or ‘one of the boys’ perosna is something that we tend to see with Arcee and Miko. And forms of femininity such as motherhood, or being outwardly femme like Airachnid or Starscream are seen as ‘bad’ by the narrative.
What I mean by this is that, June is shamed for being motherly toward Jack, by Arcee and by Miko and it is something that she is made to feel bad for, for wanting to care for Jack. Arcee and Miko are portrayed as I said, as being ‘one of the boys’ Arcee herself made a negative comment toward the idea of being PINK…which is ridiclous.
Airachnid and Starscream are both heavily femme and queer coded, but they are shamed by the narrative and the fandom. Starscream is brutalized on the daily, and Airachnid, who is outwardly femme tends to be seen as irredeemable by the fandom and also inexplcitly evil by the narrative.
TFP’s issue with femininity is something is something I certainly want to talk about later on, but given this essay is just about Airachnid, I will stop here.
The last thing I'm also going to say is that I don't think that the writers knew, or understand how to write a female villain for a notoriously misogynstic fanbase. There are reasons why the other female characters are 'acceptable' and it's because they are for the most part, written in a way that is okay for a male audience. That doesn't mean they don't face their fair share of misogyny...they do. Especially Miko.
But an outwardly evil femme fatale who doesn't give a fuck about it...the fandom is just not ready for such a character. And while I don't think the writers needed to pacify her, i do 100% believe that when operating in a misogynstic fandom, you should learn how to write a female character in a way that will not get her dragged the way Airachnid has been dragged.
If you enjoyed my essay, please share and consider following?
Please follow my twitter, where I'll also talk more about women's topics in TF.
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I have no real feelings towards izzy hands. I do not hate him, I do not feel particular adoration for him, I’ve always felt neutral about him but I do appreciate izzy for what he is. but boy do I have some takes on him! and though I’ve refrained from speaking my mind I’ve learned that the hate mail will come anyway so fuck it, I’m doing a meta. please, if you feel very passionately about izzy on either side of the spectrum, please do not read this. this is a singular person’s interpretation of things, it means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of the world so please just be respectful. ok let’s do it:
*takes deep breath* *taps the mic*
to me, izzy hands is/was an antagonist not because of any internalized homophobia that may or may not be there but because the world of piracy has adopted its own system and practice of hegemonic masculinity.
hegemonic masculinity is the practice of the dominance of men— or, certain kinds of men— in society, so women and other marginalized ways of being a man are subordinated (i.e. queer men, trans men, disabled men, fem men). our flag means death does a great job of establishing two very different worlds and their takes on hegemonic masculinity: high society, and piracy. in high society, whiteness and wealth are two main pillars of masculinity. men are allowed to exhibit more feminine behaviour or attire such as ornate and colourful clothing, wigs, bows, tights, makeup, etc. because they are displays of social status and material wealth. in the world of piracy, however, those things aren’t exactly possible. violence is the real currency and the main tool in constructing the toxic masculine hierarchy. their attire has to be intimidating and express a capacity for violence. toxic masculinity is also established and formed through a sort of stoicism/being emotionally closed off, intimidation, power, deception, and fear.
ed has mastered how to perform fear and masculinity all too well over the years, but he also hasn’t been happy whatsoever in that role so when he discovers stede, he finds stede’s attitude refreshing and transformative.
season 1 izzy is different. season 1 izzy has thrived within the pirating world by adhering to the standards of hegemonic masculinity and does not see any problem with it. he enjoys the existence of a hierarchy and, though he dreams of being captain/top dog, still thoroughly adored (past tense now, though I originally wrote this before the teaser clip came out) being servile to edward. this sort of devotion does come from a place of being in love with ed. he does not have a problem with that, nor does he have a problem with the fact that men love other men. if it were up to izzy, gayness/homosexuality would be integrated as an acceptable characteristic of hegemonic masculinity.
but stede does not want that. he questions why patriarchal society has dictated that men not, under any circumstance, display their creativity, their emotion, vulnerability, hopes, dreams, or fears in front of each other. he questions why men have been taught to bottle things up, and why they aren’t more kind to one another. he actively works to dismantle toxic/hegemonic masculine standards within his own crew and season 1 izzy hates that. he sees those as the qualities of someone weak, soft, and effeminate. he wants to have queerness subscribe to the qualities of toxic masculinity that have been enforced upon him which is why his main beefs have been with lucius and stede, who are the most “feminine” and open gay men on the ship (stede being emotionally open in izzy’s eyes at least, and lucius being sexually open/vocally open and indifferent to authority). that’s why he uses lucius’s flirtatiousness and “promiscuity” as blackmail, and not his actual gayness. his problem has to do with his version of masculinity. he sees lucius and stede’s ways of being a man as worthy of subordination.
and yes, that is bad and he needs to work to unpack all that shit. but you can see through his comments in the trailer about piracy fostering a sense of belonging, through the teaser clip of him crying in front of others, through the unhealthy dynamic he finds himself in with ed where he pushed a button that he didn’t realize was going to set off a bomb in ed (metaphorically speaking), that he is starting to unpack it, and is learning the hard way (through much sympathizable suffering) that this system benefits no one, not even him. it harms him, in fact. his loyalty to a standard of masculinity that is so unobtainable, to a system that is not built in anyone’s favour, and one that makes him the losing dog every time, is starting to crack!! we can see him learn to develop a form of masculine self-expression without any of the toxic qualities that made him so wound up as before, and instead allow healthy masculinity to co-exist with a culture of acceptance and queer community!!! but his antagonism in season 1 doesn’t mean he’s homophobic per se, it just made him gender normative and annoying.
#I swear I have never been more nervous posting something#be normal about this one okay? cause someone *cough cough nonny in my inbox cough cough* wasn’t#my thoughts#izzy hands#ofmd#our flag means death#stede bonnet
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This is going to be long so the short version is this:
I convinced my therapist to watch the 🌟Gay Pirate Show🌟 and now I have to confront a previously unidentified and terrifyingly deep emotional wound that could be as transformative to heal as it is terrifying to approach.
My therapist and I have a lot of let's say...demographic things in common that have made this the most successful therapeutic relationship I've ever had, but also that just made me think he might like the show. It's no secret that ofmd has been a deeply moving experience for its viewers, and queer, neurodivergent, and/or people of color have written at length about the special ways it touches us (or doesn't). Those are three categories both he and I fit into and it feels relevant to say that for context.
So yes I thought he might like it, but I also wanted to pick his brain about Big Feelings it was giving me that I hadn't experienced with the same intensity with other media/fandoms. Y'all, he gave me a completely unexpected reading on the show (and its story and its fan works) and why it makes us feel So Much that I haven't seen anywhere before.
When I say Big Feelings, I mean like I've literally had to swear off a couple of pretty innocuous categories on AO3 ("Growing Old Together" and "Domestic Fluff") because they would devastate me in ways that I couldn't attribute to anything specific. Growing Old Together comes with the possibility of death separating them, which is heartbreaking, but that didn't feel like it was the thing that was gutting me. Domestic Fluff could probably be called the most innocuous tag ever, but anything that saw our blorbos settling down and watching the Revenge sail off into the distance was fucking me up as well.
There are plenty of reasons why OFMD makes queer people feel so much, but when I say this was fucking me up I mean like, well, remember when people outside of classical music started learning about appoggiatura? Like intellectually knowing why I was crying but at a loss how intense everything felt. And my therapist (who is as good at analyzing a text as he is at being a therapist) was like "oh, it could be all the grief."
The grief.
The audacity of this motherfucker (affectionate).
It's a romcom! It's a romcom that we were explicitly told would have a happy ending! It's a romcom where the characters will get to sail off into the sunset together like they want and like we want for them! Stede and Ed, after four decades of self-hatred and trauma and fear and isolation, somehow find each other. And one of the sweetest things about their story is that it's a late in life love story, because it's incredibly inspiring for someone to get to experience a part of life they thought wasn't for them. The inescapable fact that their time together will be shorter than any of us would like is sad but not unaccountably sad to me, because of how much joy they'll be able to cram into the time they have left. I could be wrong but I don't think that alone is the source of what's been overwhelming me.
Grief is a constant presence in the world-building and the storytelling because grief is a natural response to well, so many things about being alive. Grieving is some of the hardest shit any of us ever have to do, but it's also so universal and so many of the things that make us uniquely human also make grieving well, maybe not easier, but something we can endure and process through ritual, community, and the example of those we've witnessed grieving their own losses. Many kinds of grief come with narratives that you can accept or reject all or parts of, but the narrative exists.
But have you ever heard of disenfranchised loss? Loss that's not easily labeled or classified or given the time or space or understanding it deserves? Have you experienced a loss like that? Can you imagine how much more difficult it makes the grieving process?
Well what my therapist suggested, the thing that knocked me on my ass hard enough that I had to come have Online Feelings about it, is that eventually, we all have to mourn ourselves. Not necessarily in a "mortality is inevitable" way (that happens to everyone) but in ways that are often unique to people like him and me (black, ND, queer). Even if we work on ourselves, if we grow and heal our trauma and feel at home in our identities and our bodies and build beautiful lives, eventually we will be forced to mourn the selves that we never got to be in the societies in which we live and the selves we once had to become to survive this long.
And that mourning is a kind of disenfranchised loss, with no clear path forward. Obviously this conversation happened within the context of everything my therapist knows about me as an individual, but I thought certain things might resonate with other fans as well so I wanted to talk about it. The story of this bizarre little man and his remarkable second act and his lovely little found family and his incredibly beautiful love story (that we've been guaranteed will end happily) is still haunted by the specific kind of grief that comes from learning what's possible, and regretting that you didn't know it was possible sooner.
And does anybody have more delayed milestones, later-in-life discoveries, and/or need to invent places for themselves than those of us on the social fringes? Than those of us in societies unequipped for (or actively hostile to) the ways we exist and the things we need to survive and thrive? Than those of us who have to create our own narratives or be saddled with inaccurate or harmful narratives created by others, or even no narrative at all?
And narrative is so much. Narrative is everything. Narrative is the story we tell ourselves and each other and that literally shapes our reality. So those story beats where we discover something better than what came before are inherently stories with loss and will require mourning, because we mourn loss.
Even when the story has a happy ending. Especially when the story has a happy ending for someone who never thought they would be allowed to have one.
I mean just like, FUCKING HELL. I can't blame anyone for this but myself. I know my therapist. I know how insightful he can be. I did this to myself and now I have to live with it. But my god is it a massive mountain I'm about to have to climb now. My therapist and I have always found it helpful to discuss media that makes me Feel Things (see all the trauma work that came from Life is Strange) but if you had told me that I'd be looking into this new dark cave of unprocessed shit thanks to what I thought was just gonna be a harmless little gay pirate show starring fucking Murray from Flight of the Concords I would probably just have assumed you were in the middle of having a stroke and taken off to get you the medical attention you desperately needed.
#not to be dramatic#but I definitely worry this might still be dramatic#my therapist is great#but the problem with a good therapist#is that sometimes they will fucking read you#and then you get whiplash#don't be afraid to bring up media that speaks to you in therapy#you never know what might come of it#or how much it might shake you#I should also be clear that all this grief in a story with a happy ending isn't a bad thing#it just kind of is#and when you enjoy it#just enjoy it#every moment of joy is a gift#no matter the context#go ahead and grieve yourself#also I couldn't find an elegant way to fit this in#but the storytelling is very neurodivergent#or at least unfolds in a way that is friendly to my neurodivergence#that's why I'm not a big TV watcher anyway#but I was able to sit down and mainline this#it's the first new show I've watched in literal years#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd meta#our flag means death meta#🤯🤯🤯#😳😳😳#disenfranchised loss
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hooly shit (positive). just read the ask where anon is iafab, transfem, and wants to go on T. have Never heard of anyone else having this experience before as well. and your response was lovely. both of your experiences are so relatable and just??
this is so fucking validating i may very well burst into tears. i really dont know how to articulate my appreciation. hearing other people's experiences like this when i myself feel like i am a "fringe" case who can never relate to anyone .. literally the most uplifting shit ever. thank you equinox and anon for sharing. queerness is so complex and beautiful and im so grateful to be able to hear your stories
thank YOU holy shit, i'm really glad that our experiences were able to reach someone else who feels the same way. i don't run this blog for myself, i run it to help spread information so people can have transformational moments just like that. thank you for letting us know it helped you, that really means a lot
and you're right, queerness is inherently complicated, for intersex and perisex people alike. the recent trend to try to boil it down to its most easily digestable form will never work for getting our actual lived experiences across. people on twitter- sorry, X would say that no, an afab person could never possibly be transfeminine, but the reality of the situation is life isn't that simple. there are many women of color who are completely denied their womanhood simply for not being white. it's way, way more complex than people make it out to be
i hope you have a wonderful week, take care of yourself, feel free to stop by again at any point, you are appreciated
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hattie box head canons go
died at 37 due to decapitation (duh), he looks older than he is due to stress in life and postmortem decomposition
mortal name was horace hatford, but he exclusively goes by hatty/hatbox (or simply h. hatford) now
ezra's younger brother, their parents had a habit of jokingly picking on hatty a lot which did not help his self esteem issues
autism creature. sensitive to loud noises especially
hes just. he has a lot of mental issues. depression and social anxiety king
selectively mute, mostly just laughs. even if youre a good friend of his he doesn't talk very much
real voice isn't as deep as it sounds in the ride, he imitates ghost host's manner of speaking for performances
loves sewing, started out making clothes (worked as a tailor in life) but also does plush toys and embroidery
more under the cut. theres a lot
favorite movie genre is sci-fi horror, but his least favorites are slasher and supernatural horror films; slashers tend to trigger trauma surrounding his and his loved ones' deaths, and supernatural horror hits different when you're a ghost (mainly the annoying amount of misconceptions and inaccuracies)
his least favorite horror movies are hereditary and pet sematary for similar reasons; he can't stand it when kids die in movies (and the decapitation scene in hereditary is especially triggering to him)
bi and demisexual but mostly just calls himself queer. he's happy being with emily so sexuality labels don't really matter to him
genderfluid, doesnt rly care about what pronouns other people use for him but mostly prefers he/him, she/her, or it/its.
has a glowing heart like emily's, which is usually hidden under his clothes
used to be a notorious prankster around the mansion, which is actually part of why he got kicked out; aside from his signature trick not being up to par at first, he liked to mess with cast members who were trying to set things up by spooking them, stealing tools, etc until they got fed up and had him booted
(based on his animatronic's b mode) had some stage fright when he came back to the mansion back in 2015; he panicked and froze up all day and felt really bad afterwards bc he didn’t want to mess up and get booted again. the ghost host was pretty understanding of this but hatty's still nervous that if he screws up badly enough he could get kicked out again
can growl like an animal for some reason. nobody knows how or why he learned to do it but he mainly just uses it to fuck with people (constance, mostly). can also "purr", it's more like a rattling wheeze. a bit unnerving but emily thinks it's cute though
spent his years away from the mansion exploring haunted places all over the world, and knows a lot about the history of said places (special interest)
can teleport his head anywhere within a 5 foot radius of himself; it can be physically carried up to 15 feet away from him, but it's tethered to his body by a sort of invisible "thread" and cannot go further than that
mild telekinesis abilities, learned from leota
has back and wrist issues carried over from when he was alive, hence the cane and shaky hands. floats most of the time bc he can't walk very fast
he gets frequent hand pains, if he does manual work like writing or sewing for long periods of time he has to take a break for a while since his hands will start hurting too badly to do anything
collects every piece of disney merch with him on it
pale asf as a mortal but does have some hispanic/latin ancestry from one of his grandparents
also bonus emily hcs
died at 23 from being stabbed in the heart
was originally engaged to dorian gracey, who was constance's nephew
loves painting, sometimes touches up the haunted portraits in the mansion at their owners' requests
adhd haver, will often fixate on a project to the point where she won't leave the same spot for days
can transform from shadowy to corpse-like to her usual mortal-esque form; her shadowy version is covered in a sort of liquid darkness that can shift in coverage, which is typically concentrated on her face and hands
was kicked out of the mansion's tour route by constance and now just stays behind the scenes. she's pretty bitter about this and regularly argues with connie about nearly anything
her heartbeat increases in volume and speed when excited, scared, or when experiencing other strong emotions
favorite movie genre is psychological horror, is also a fan of found footage horror
bi and demisexual as well
and for both of them :]
hatty likes to rest his head against emily's chest to listen to her heartbeat, they often fall asleep like this
emily is much taller than hatbox, being 6' while hatty is only 5'4"; she can lift him up pretty easily
hatbox sometimes borrows emily's shirts to sleep in
they have movie nights together at least once a week, they mostly watch classic horror and disney animated films. sometimes they get distracted and just start making out and stuff
hatbox doesn't really like being touched by anyone, especially strangers, but is very physically affectionate towards his wife
often each of them think about what their lives would've been like had they lived longer (eg them having a happy ending, getting married and spending the rest of their mortal lives together, maybe starting a family, etc), makes em both really sad though but they're happy being together in death
hatty is always more relaxed around emily, though usually he can seem a bit grouchy and antisocial to most other people
#hatbox ghost#haunted mansion#text post#mod speaks#can you tell he's my favorite character of all time ever#beating heart bride/emily#heartbox
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