#and also just anxiety in general
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holy shit I did NOT realize how popular my "I will remove my teeth, for I want to remain kind despite my anger" quote is. I just googled it for fun to see what would come up, a bunch of people are quoting it not knowing who its from, an artist called Kuma made an album titled that, so bizzare
#also people are misatributing the quote to kuma and the first google result for the quote attributes it to them#which is kind of upsetting but not a huge deal whatever#its cool it seems to have entered culture like that#i get very mixed feelings about those instances where something I made got WAY more popular than i expected and#people are reposting it or using it without attributing it to me#i both feel bad when stuff isnt credited to me but also good that my art has expanded beyond my reach#its out of my control kind of and other people have it now#which IS what i want for my art and how i generally think art should be#but it is also obviously causes some anxiety to lose control and really full ownership of something that is yours#i think also there is anxiety about something of mine being taken by someone bigger than me#since they can just claim it as their own and most people will know them as the origin#not talking specifically about this quote btw just any of my work#ive definetly been thinking about that hbomberguy vid lol#i hope any of this made sense im a little high rn
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After rewatching Trolls World Tour, I just realized the relevance of the high five at the start of Trolls Band Together <3
It means they have a strong connection!
On the second movie he failed to talk with Poppy about their relationship and then she called him a friend. He got so caught up on that, that they failed to make a connection and having a good high five.
Failing miserably.
Just look at him, he feels so bad
Also I love how easy the confession was at the end
Just so casual
"and I love that we are different"
"And I love you Queen Poppy" the way he says it, so simple yet clear
"And I love you too Branch" and Poppy and her little smile, that was the smile she used to give Creek before the whole fall out, she´s now smitten with Branch :) and she loves him too, what else can you ask?
the love was always there, they just needed to have a better connection, you know, the whole thing where she wasn't actually listening to anybody because she was too focused trying to be a good queen
Also I love seeing Branch happy, it´s so tender
And they finally have their perfect high five!
Wait, did she hug him at the end? 🥺
I hadn´t noticed
I love their relationship, since the first movie and how it evolved
it´s just so tender and wholesome
#Broppy#Trolls dreamworks#dreamworks trolls#Queen Poppy#Trolls Branch#Branch Trolls#I love them so much#the dancing on the beginning is just so sweet#I wish for a gif of they just spinning and dancing 🥺#Maybe when the third movie is available I might make a compilation of them <3#their expressions are just so sweet together#in general the characters in the trolls movie are so expressive it's great! and animation! I love it! the art style! and everything!!#They are heavily underrated movies#haha also I love his expression on the fourth pic#like that´s not exactly pain he´s feeling#it´s a bad feeling and it feels physical oww nerves and anxiety I guess#I feel you buddy#a shame I couldn´t get a good quality screenshot#had to retake some of the second movie with clips on youtube haha
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imogen fumbling shit is just eternally good fodder for memes, alright. and its at least partly BECAUSE of how powerful she is. someone tripping while using a nerf gun? funny. someone dramatically hoisting up an outfit matchin heavy death laser gun and then immediately tripping and landing on their face? phenom. sometimes she goes "GROVEL" and the enemies grovel and we all go "oooooh" and "aaaahhh" and sometimes she just gets fully ignored and gets so huffy and petulant and ineffectually burns a cantrip just to be petty about it. sometimes she smites her enemies into dust with one move and renders a tree in half after threatening and other times she fucking. falls down a flight of stairs and accidentally sets everything on fire. fires a gun at her own team. loses all her hair. turns blue. etc.
Imogen lifts a humongous sand squid into the sky with her mind powers. Imogen is also falling out of a sky ship and landing on the desert sand far below and just. lying there. while her friend plays the flute in the background. epic hot failgirls NEED the HEIGHT to FAIL FROM. u gotta swing and miss sometimes!!! AND you gotta be REAL petty about it when u miss!!!! fucking fantastic.
#its like how fjord with no dignity is fantastic because fjord is Hot and Charismatic and ClearHeaded under pressure but also#has never had a good experience with an animal despite being wild mother follower. tried to yell a flower into submission (and failed).#u have to take ur hottest and most powerful warriors and make them eat shit every now and then with the same zealousness that they#absolutely wreck shop#I apologize I know I've reblogged like four posts about it its just so delightful#critical role#c3e58#cr spoilers#imogen temult#shitpost#spar speaks#god with fjord and imogen there's just something about extremely powerful anxiety ridden Universes Personal Joke characters huh#whoops. I guess I might have a weakness after all.#theres a separate post about how her fucky morals and general anxiousness also collide hilariously but i realized i was losing the thread#what portion of it i hadnt already lost at least
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Warm ups from sketches today and yesterday
Psst... ✨Commissions Open✨
#one piece#trafalgar law#my art#ryeart#sanji#art#I’m so sleepy no thoughts in my head#high anxiety day#sigh#I’ll probably draw more today but who knows what it’ll be#also the he wants to order one I’m sure someone’s done before but it it made me happy so I did my own#bepo one piece#also pre time skip Sanji is my fave Sanji I will not lie#there’s something about him post time skip doesn’t hit ya know#sorry babe maybe the homophobia is a major turn off ya know#fishman island is what did it for me. maybe I’ll change my mind later as the story progresses but damn#he’s so cool but I wanted to THROTTLE that man 80% of the time#also just pre time skip straw hats in general just have this lovely charm that I feel post hasn’t quite hit#any iteration of Law my beloved though#steven universe comic meme
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STILL in love with this stupid purple cartoon horse
#mlp#my little pony#mlp g4#my little pony friendship is magic#mlp fim#twilight sparkle#deezy's art#doodles#ppl say she has ocd but in all honestly she's just a textbook example of a perfectionist with generalized anxiety disorder#also wanted to try a different style for funsies
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werewolf in a happy hoodie
#lolsketch#werewolf#if u dont know: its a thing that u put on a dog during grooming so they cant hear a high velocity dryer#possibly also just for general anxiety reduction#anyway#they look goofy af on fluffy dogs
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crazy that like last week ppl were worried cause like ohh. what if we’re pushing fitpac too much on the creators. we dont wanna make them do anything they dont want to and then the qsmp admins the twt update accounts the other players started pushing it SO hard like guys i think we’re good. i think we’re safe.
#qsmp#fitpac#also i think in general you cant Make a creator do something when theyre the ones Making it#ultimately they can just Not do fitpac if they want idc d#theyre like . adults they can handle themselves#but also . the anxiety is no longer needed#the qsmp funny moments video is shipping them and neithr of then have pulled back yet so
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my offering for swap!au (dozo)
i have a lot of Thoughts about this au. specifically where both kni and vash's goals differ but yet i still try to keep the same. the shift is, who was the one who got rem's speech after tesla's revelation.
kni uses his powers of creation so as not to let his sisters suffer the end of a last run anymore. hence the black hair. meanwhile, vash doesn't want to eradicate all of humanity, but to control them and strip them of their free will. he thinks in this way, he could control how plants are to be treated and kni won't have to slowly kill himself for the Humans and their sisters. he's starting a cult lmao
#i have more Thoughts on this#kni also does preses his head against the glass of a plant's tank but instead of healing the plant#he learns how to create whatever the plant was designed to generate#i also think with vash having lost faith on the only human he thought he could trust and love like a mother#he'd be Extra clingy to kni and the separation anxiety is Real af. like really 'there's no one else but you' vibes#and for them to be opposing forces i think vash wouldnt care so much about the plants as much as kni does.#he just wants his brother by his side and not to slowly kill himself for them Period#you could say he'd be a little jealous as well.#SO MANY POSSIBILITIES!!!#trigun#trigun stampede#KV#plantcest#swap au#millions knives#vash the stampede#redsoda art
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btw this is probably one of the most insane and telling scenes in regards to stewy nd kendall. like the stewy-marcia interaction first off. the way it’s so clearly paralleling kenstewy with logan and marcia. stewy and marcia literally watch their respective persons in silence. also important to note that stewy was one of the first ppl to greet logan when he arrived probably bc he knew that one of the first things logan was going to do was approach kendall and he wanted to get in there first to gauge the situation + logan. but stewy’s concern for kendall in regards to what could happen when he’s in close proximity to logan is so clear and almost synonymous with marcia’s own concern/love for logan at this point. like it seems intentional that they were shown to be like. logan and kendall’s respective partners here
#kenstewy#succession#stewy hosseini#stewy/marcia interaction just in general is insane. like she greeted him with such warmth. you can tell she genuinely fucking likes him.#like that’s soooooo . us brown ppl always win btw !#but also it’s like. the loganmarcia kenstewy parallels you could make…#marcia was the only one to completely understand and unequivocally love logan while knowing exactly who he was and what’s he done. and she#supported him stuck by him etc until he betrayed her#like he grew careless of her and took her for granted. and does that sound familiar? like that happened to my guys kendall and stewy. insane#ALSO throughout this scene you see stewy greet logan and marcia -> watch kendall talk to logan -> see him walking kind of fast in some#direction until caroline approaches him (and even then he doesn’t chat for long at all) -> then finally he finds kendall and sits down to#talk to him. like throughout this whole scene he’s just following kendall around😵💫 like it’s literally a party and he’s like. running after#kendall the whole time. and when he sits down he’s like. hey heard you talked to your dad lol. like he wasn’t 8 feet away watching kendall#intently stood next to marcia while it was happening. like that’s super insane#kind of unrelated but not really but stewy has the worst case of anxiety i’ve ever seen like he’s sooo anxious. he’s mentally ill fr and#i love him with all my heart#stewy#kennystewy#p
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#persona 4#p4#persona 4 arena ultimax#p4au#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#satonaka chie#amagi yukiko#hello i have spoken recently about how yosuke functions as the team's morale backbone#even when hes not around chie and yukiko think of him when they're frustrated or worried#consciously or otherwise they know they can turn to yosuke to cheer them up or at least alleviate some of their anxieties#chie calls yosuke because she needs to rant - even though she complains about how unserious he is she knows he can be relied on to listen#yukiko calls yosuke because she thinks he'll know whats going on with their friend - she sees HIM as the connected person in the group#i think its part yukiko seeing yosuke as yu's substitute and also part just... a general recognition that he's the most on the ball#and even when he doesnt know the answer#yukiko still finds comfort in hearing him talk#however yosuke sees himself i think its nonetheless true that his friends love him and depend on him!!!#and i love that so much guys#yosuke team wrangler but also team emotional support and just all around good friend confirmed!!!!#he's good with his queue
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This is just your daily reminder that your lived experience is valid. No one else gets to speak on if you’ve had it rough or not. No one else gets to tell you that everything you’ve suffered through was for attention. No one gets to tell you that you should’ve just tried harder or been better. No one gets to tell you that someone else having it harder invalidates your own struggle. Your pain is valid. Your struggle is valid. You are valid.
#disabilties#mental illness#trauma#lgbtqia#transgender#non bianry#genderqueer#ptsd#bpd#physical disability#ocd#generalized anxiety disorder#major depressive disorder#gender nonconforming#and also just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean that other people aren’t#like please understand this#not all struggles are the same but they are all valid
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i have a ~dream question~
#this has been an original post#my pollies#polls#dreams#driving#i realized today that while im obvs not the driver in my dreams im also not specifically on public transit most of the time#im just. a passenger#no concept of other passengers or a driver or even what kind of vehicle it is#my dream logic is very much ''if its not relevant to the situation who cares''#also ''why generate actual human beings when you can just have the vague sense that a place is populated''#idk why im thinking abt this this morning specifically since last nights dreams didnt even involve being in a vehicle#not the ones i remember anyway#i was just thinking abt patterns in my dreams in general#cause my brain does this weird thing where in all my anxiety dreams im living in the apt i lived in through elementary + part of high school#like yes its the place ive spent the most time in but also. i havent lived there in TWELVE YEARS#and i mean i did hate that place but its not like ALL my trauma was experienced there#its just weird#dreams are weird#clouds dreams
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The funny thing about Pharma and the Delphi situation is that that's where the concept of the DJD was first introduced (with the first scene with the DJD at work happening literally the issue afterwards, issue #6) and literally the more you learn about the DJD the more it vindicates Pharma in his paranoia and being convinced that he couldn't ask for help like
In the Delphi issues we learn that the DJD hunts down Decepticon turncoats/traitors/etc and that Ambulon, one of the Delphi staff, was a Decepticon traitor. We also learn that their leader is evidently terrifying in addition to being a t-cog addict, but that's it.
Except in the subsequent issue #6 and all issues with the DJD afterwards, we learn a variety of fun facts about the DJD such as
Several of the members either literally transform into torture equipment or have said torture equipment built into their bodies
Their leader, Tarn, the guy with the t-cog addiction that forced Pharma into blackmail, can kill people with just his VOICE
We later learn that the DJD have a fanatical devotion to the Decepticon cause/Megatron such that they literally worship an idol of Megatron
Even later on, we learn that Tarn's kill-you-with-his-voice powers work both over the phone and via recordings of his voice
Tarn is also very talkative during torture sessions and he seems to find pleasure in his stupid, smug-smart guy persona where he likes to describe to victims what's happening to them and why. And there's no reason he wouldn't apply this to Autobots just as much as he does to Decepticon traitors
The DJD have access to signal jamming technologies that make it so that even if their victim can get a help signal out, no one will receive it until weeks after the fact
Their entire system of hunting people down is based on pursuing them no matter what, isolating them from any help, driving them mad with psychological terror, etc
They're capable enough warriors to slaughter an entire ships' worth of people, apparently without sustaining any meaningful casualties
They're drug addicts that are prone to overdosing and/or losing control and slaughtering people while they're under the influence
So like???
If Pharma was only privy to HALF of the things that we as the audience know about the DJD, it's perfectly reasonable to assume that Pharma probably wanted to call for help at some point, but was convinced that doing so would lead to 1. the signal being jammed/blocked so no one would help anyways 2. him and everyone else at Delphi (including the TRAITOR WHO IS ONE OF THEIR EMPLOYEES) would be horribly tortured to death by fanatical Decepticon torturer freaks.
Like I get that in the text Pharma only says that he did the Red Rust stuff so that he wouldn't be caught/blamed for the t-cog deal and is prideful about how he stopped the DJD from murdering Delphi, but like...... there's no fucking way that Pharma going "oh I didn't want to get in trouble and also I'm better than everyone" was his PRIMARY reason for everything on Delphi. Pharma didn't go from perfectly normal/sane Autobot doctor to raving egotistical maniac because he was always an asshole and he decided to solve the DJD issue in an asshole way. It's bc according to all canon evidence we have of the DJD and the way they react to traitors/Autobots, Pharma had every reason to fear for his life and believe that no aid would come to him.
#not to mention that fucking uhhhh it was BLACKMAIL???#generally when BLACKMAIL happens the whole deal is 'you give me this thing and i don't kill you'#'but also if you go running for help i'll kill you'#or 'you can't call the authorities for help bc you're doing illegal things for me so theyll just arrest you'#squiggposting#pharma apologism#mfs wanna say 'pharma could've just ran or called for help' when the DJD are literally famous#for their ability to hunt people down and murder them horribly#remember when the lost light was getting hunted down by the DJD and they called for help?#remember how it took 3 weeks for anyone to get the SOS and by then everything was already over?#also it's reasonable to think that like pharma was just giving spare tcogs to tarn without having to kill anyone at first#figuring it's just extra supplies to order and it's a small price to pay for delphi not getting horribly murdered#and it was only later that he had to actually start killing people#and by then tarn could've easily hit him with 'you could run and ask for help but then they're going to ask you'#'why you were giving tcogs to a decepticon in the first place. have fun being a traitor for that'#and then there was you know. the paranoia and constant anxiety and trauma from being next door to the DJD
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Who's gonna get whacked by the snowstorm? It's supposed to get me the next two days and I'm kinda excited tbh 👀
ARE Y'ALL PREPARED?!
#my animals all should be okay#im just a bit worried about the half wild chickens who wont let me put them in the coop#or even the garage#i know theyll be ok with the cold im just worried about how deep the snow will be#ill have to keep up on making paths for them#other than that#i have enough animal and people food to last awhile and i have extra straw in case someone needs more#also got ten gallons each of diesel and gas#lots of blankets medical supplies board games#oh dang i should make sure my portable phone charger is charged#i really need to get a solar charger#the thing im worried about most is if the power goes out#we have a generator but if we can keep the house warm during the day we might turn it off at night#and i know its stupid but i have anxiety and nighttime is really hard for me#especially in pitch black silence#i dont like the way my fear and anxiety makes my heart feel#anyway#ill stop rambling now#yall are in my prayers#please pray for us
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...
#first therapy session went well !#i didn't cry which is v surprising lol#maybe bc we didnt go too in depth about things but#therapist already picking up on things i didn't like#never really thought of myself as an anxious person#depression was more so what stuck out to me#but like therapist was like bestie... u sound more anxious than ur perceiving#like i put that i don't struggle with social anxiety bc generally in a group of people im pretty outgoing#but like my coping skills are isolation lol#and i often turn down invitations bc of my insecurities#and in general just hate being perceived despite wanting it#like i literally havent answered any asks on here in months bc#im afraid of what people think of me#and im scared of interaction#but im also dying for human connection lol :'))#i also avoid men completely bc trauma so yeah#and it all stems from a deep deep belief that i am not worthy of love n wOw im sad but like we can only go up from here right :'))#LMAO SORRY THAT THIS IS WHAT MY BLOG HAS BECOME BUT#idk this is my diary fr#anywho sorry for everything#will most likely delete all these rants bc its embarassing lol but#love you all#and im so sorry for not answering the asks#thank you for reading my fics#your comments mean sm to me truly#love you endlessly
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my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.
#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all#which. again. is false#but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept#and like. It’s FINE#but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony#and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom#unable to move or function#I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing#but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully#like an unseen wound#and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people#is one of the most painful things#just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them#and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning#and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb!#tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams#or impetus or forward motion or anything#because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy#so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE#actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it#when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions#that’s the problem#anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.
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