episode 2 commentary - Let Go of Me

major spoilers for show and books, swearing, me obsessing over lockwood's hands probably (edit: definitely, and George's)

why did I immediately think jellyfish

omg the flowers

Luce you really shouldn't have taken that

just like @demigoddess-of-ghosts said, why tf are deprac asking if there's anyone else there when Lucy is quite literally screaming 'lockwood'

"miss lockwood" and "lockwood's my partner" 🤭

"we called your mother" ok well her mother is a Bitch so that wasn't a good idea

"rest up until he's given you the all-clear" like fuck she's gonna do that

omg the flowers!!!

ooo spooky green lighting

omg the ghost lock victims ward 🥲

I would love to know what they were planning on doing with this scene actually bc I feel like it sets up some sort of ghost lock victim storyline for the future - maybe using them for science? idk I'd just love to know

oof lockwood's hands

just this whole scene of lockwood

hands

barnes is not fucking around lol

HANDS

HANDS

the way he sits back in the chair has me WEAK

THE JAW MOVEMENT

can you tell I'm going feral

George's lil run omg

George is so neurospicy I love it

George your posture needs sorting out my love 😭

"You're meant to say no, Lucy" well it's difficult to say no to lockwood when he looks at you with his beautiful eyes and smile and-

"I'd say like a house on fire" 😭

my poor baby looks so tired :( and he definitely needs a shower oh dear

I didn't think I would hear lockwood with his queen's English call someone 'mate'

I love that George just says straight up facts

"posh one who thinks he's god's gift" sounds about right

"his weird mate with zero social skills" also sounds about right

I love that they included the tapes for norrie bc actually it's a great way of adding to the narrative (bc we don't have any voice overs) and we get lucy's view on stuff

and we see her survivor's guilt too - "like how I should have helped you" omg 🥲 (excuse me while I go cry in a corner)

ruby stokes the woman you are

"no it doesn't, it looks like I cooked it in an active volcano" pfffft George I love you

"Andrew lockwood"

"girls are funny about baths" he's trying goddammit

HIS SMILE

"she's not unhinged" "you're hardly the best judge of these things" "you need normal people around you" "you really think you're normal?" your honour I love their friendship

"the world's mad, and normal never fixed anything" gonna make it my motto

"let me... sleep on it" BOY YOU DON'T EVER SLEEP

oh Luce

okay but these special effects are so fucking cool

hang on why the hell did Lucy go to sleep holding the ring

Jesus Christ that scared the shit out of me

ooo green lighting!!!

pfft goes to hold his hand to wake him up

HIS FACE WHEN HE WAKES UP OMG 😭😂

also: NECK and THE FACT HE SLEEPS WITHOUT A SHIRT

I love the disgruntlement of george

WHITE T-SHIRT LOCKWOOD

"trousers are for wimps" ICONIC

omg I love that we get to see George's Touch!!! also his hand??? brb gonna go melt

LOCKWOOD'S HANDS AND FOREARMS WITH THE CHAINS

FOREARMS

omg Georgie it's not a wasp I'm sorry

ARMS

I am dying how the hell did Ali manage to make his voice say "oh shit" like that

LOCKWOOD HAS A RAPIER I'm gonna faint

"I can't believe you stole a Source" GEORGE YOU ARE ONE TO TALK

yeah Luce call him out

"we need to destroy her source and move on. let her go" I have so much to say about this omgggg bc on the one hand the episode is called Let Go of Me and rn I'm 1/3 of the way through this episode and they've repeated those words in different ways so many times it's unreal. and then on the other hand (spoilers for the books) there's the way that Lockwood isn't doing this himself, because he hasn't destroyed the source in his house and let his own ghosts go 😭

omg George loves an experiment you can hear the joy in his voice

NOT THE WAY HE PHYSICALLY MOVES TO PROVE HE'S ON LUCY'S SIDE omg they're becoming friends even if they don't know it yet

ARMS

OH LORD THE HOODIE??? I wanna steal it

NOT THE WAY HE HANDS HER THE RING AND LETS HIS TOUCH LINGER AND LUCY DOES THE SAME OMGGGG

THEY LITERALLY JUST STROKE EACH OTHER'S HANDS I CAN'T TAKE THIS

his smile omg

ruby stokes the woman you are omg

lockwood's face omg he's so conflicted bc on the one hand he's worried but on the other he's trying to not say yes when she goes 'you love me don't you?'

lockwood immediately pushing her aside

HANDS

HANDS

lockwood you need to stop taking sole responsibility for things

the sadness in his voice when he says 'this place is all that's left of my parents' omg

"Jesus, lockwood, we're screwed!" yep (also the way George says it is so funny help)

HANDS AND RING

barnes isn't taking any shit omg

such an ominous phone call

George's prison outfit (I can't remember who called it that)

omg I want lucy's playsuit

PINK SOCKS

also lockwood get your shoes off the table you heathen

no bc I actually want her playsuit

HANDS

HANDS AND RING AAAAA

:3

HANDSSSSS

"not a braying gallery for bellends" George I love you

BOBBY!!!

Lucy going straight in with the hard facts I love her

omg the scoff

THE SIDE PROFILE OF LOCKWOOD IS KILLING ME

kipps is such an arse

THE STANCE HE TAKES WITH THE SPARE HAND AND UGH

AND YOU NEED A LADDER

the way he says "yes you do" has me in a chokehold

the sMIRK

"irrelevant prick" love it

when the mutual friend leaves and you're left with the one you don't get on with

George you might be a weirdo but I love you for it

Lucy getting the juicy gossip and immediately becoming besties with george

ok well your mum is a bitch

oh lockwood wtf are you doing

"he's a little shit sir"

lockwood why

he looks so proud of himself I can't help it

"you're our biggest asset" oh boy

the regret on his face oops

"my judgement's been a little off recently" yeah bc you just met the love of your life

ok but women with swords 👀 bonus points if they're angry

HANDS

pink socks again

barnes once again not taking shit

she is a child sir you can't just spring that on her

omg Lucy :((((((

"let me go" - is that another reference to the episode title I see?

"lockwood's a charlatan" pfft

DONT YOU TALK ABOUT MY LOCKWOOD LIKE THAT

"they always make the most boring, unimaginative moves possible, don't they" - it's giving Cameron saying that everything is basic

lockwood read the room (cab)

"You were brilliant" boy's in love

"can we talk about this in the car" *taxi drives away*

"you might be able to turn your feelings on and off like a tap, but I am drowning here, lockwood" 😭

"You know sometimes I just... I just think I'd be better off dead" oh Luce 😢

also lockwood's reaction to that omg he pauses for a while and is all glassy eyed and then: "I understand that"

never mind them I am drowning here (in my tears)

"We need you, and it's not because you're an asset" "why then?" "because... because you're..." *looks away and clenches jaw* "Lucy Carlyle" *smiles really widely (I feel like he was considering telling her his feelings)

"we can't let you go" ANOTHER REFERENCE TO THE EPISODE TITLE

"that's why I went on tv, silly" WHERE IS MY BUCKET??? I DONT KNOW WHY HIM SAYING 'SILLY' LIKE THAT PAIRED WITH HOW HE WALKS TOWARDS HER MEANS I NEED MY BUCKET BUT I HAD TO PAUSE THE EPISODE TO MELT A LITTLE

"We're lockwood and co. you, me, and George" FUCK YEAH YOU ARE

"please stay" 🥺 (anything for you my love)

"so you'd look cool" lol

greeeeeeen

"you're more of a liability than an asset, Lucy" HE SAYS WHILE LOOKING AT HER WITH HEART EYES

oh Georgie

OMG HE HAS A PLATE OF BISCUITS AND A TINY GLASS OF MILK

GEORGIEEEE NO DONT YOU HURT MY BOY

green lighting!!!

"I'll take him" says boy with immense confidence

"can I offer you a cup of tea while you ransack my house? one lump or two" *throws torch and misses*

HNNNNNNNN THE NOISE I MADE WHEN HE DOES THE RAPIER THINGY AND GETS INTO HIS STANCE AND TWIRLS THE RAPIER AND PUTS HIS HAND UP

AND THEN WHEN HE DODGES THE TORCH??????? SIR WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO BE THAT FINE DODGING A FUCKING TORCH?????

oh my god the still I paused it on to write the above comment is gonna make me pee myself with laughter 😭😂 I wish I could screenshot to show everyone

ooo I might be completely delusional but Lucy smashes the mirror with her elbow in this scene (and the camera pauses on it for a good couple of seconds) and then plays a part in smashing the bone glass later on??? am I delusional or am I making connections???

Georgie omg

LUCY PICKING UP HIS GLASSES!!! I love this omg I would be lost without mine

HEHEHE STAB THAT INTRUDER

fuck me that neck crack was hot (also could lockwood fuck me please?)

green lighting!!!

also how did I never notice the stairs were spirally?

George you are so funny and I love you

I AM SORRY. WHAT. EVERYONE GO WATCH THIS FIGHT SCENE AND STUDY THE WAY LOCKWOOD FIGHTS/MOVES THE RAPIER IN HIS HAND BECAUSE- I need my bucket holy shit

George hauling those chains around like it's nothing 👀

green lighting!!!

yeah you better run bitch

"we should have people round more often" lolllllll

lockwood can kick me-

"why are you making that face?"

"that's not your normal face, that's your 'I know something you don't' face"

sweaty lockwood

George's face when she pulls the ring out is so funny to me 😂

"you lunatic" *lockwood grinning widely* I love their reactions

aww let Georgie swear :(

hi gemini :(

i'm going through it rn. can you pls brew up any kind of fluffy miguel headcanons? i'd love to see your take on dad!miguel. <3

Hi! I'm sorry to hear that. if I may, I'd love to give you a hug, anon 💖 and present to you:

Dad!Miguel Headcanons

Non Gender Specific Reader, but pregnancy is mentioned ○ they/them/partner used

First of all, Miguel is so good with kids. Like, if he doesn't go into a career that has to do with working with children, I might be a lil upset. This is to say that Miggy likes kids.

So, with that being said, he'd be so excited to find out he's gonna be a dad! The overwhelming amount of joy and happiness oozing off of him will be alarming. His smile? cute and contagious. His energy? so high that it's over the moon. Immediately wants to tell Johnny the good news.

You can't convince me that he didn't have some baby fever throughout his relationship with his partner. If he so much as got to hold a baby, he was gushing about how cute that child was for days. He'd never outright admit that he had "baby fever" but he would admit to wanting "a kid or two eventually." (that's code for, "maybe sometime soon if you wanna.")

He cries when he holds his baby for the first time, wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt so he's not crying on them. He holds them close to his chest so they can hear his heartbeat and so he can kiss their head. Swears to protect them by any means possible.

He built the whole nursery himself. Might as well have been from the ground up. Whether they raise a boy, girl or genderless child, he just wanted to make the room something they'd enjoy and it's something he's proud of. Over the years, as his child shows interest in certain media or hobbies, he switches things out or adds to the room so that they're happy all of the time. If they want to paint the walls, who is he to tell them their wall can't be sage green or striped?

Buys as many toys and cute/handsome/adorable clothes as possible. If he sees it at the store and thinks his baby will like it, he gets it. Sometimes he buys something they already have but in a different color and doesn't care. He'll go out of his way to find the super specific thing his baby wants and if he can't find it, he figures out how to get it or make it.

When it comes to his baby, he's one of those dads that won't make them walk if they don't want to. He lifts them up and carries them in his arms or on his shoulders so they don't have to walk, especially if they're tired. I just envision him carrying his kid on his shoulders until he physically can't or they don't want to anymore.

He waits until their kid is at least 1 year old before asking his partner if they can have another baby. He wants a big happy family.

Also, he was an only child and doesn't want his kid to be on their own. Their kid will always have him and his partner, but he knows that sometimes you need a friend you can turn to and thinks that siblings who have each other's backs are wholesome. (No, he does not think about how that can turn against him once they actually become teenagers.)

When his partner gets pregnant again, he eases their first born into the idea of having a younger sibling. He'll sit with them and watch shows that feature siblings and eventually ask them if they'd like a little sibling. His heart will just melt if they communicate yes, even if it's just a nod of the head and big smile.

He loves Johnny, don't get him wrong, but he's never leaving his kids alone with him. He doesn't care how long its been, how much Johnny has grown, what the situation might be, he can't and won't have his babies running around calling people pussies. His mom has to be present.

Loves taking his kids outside, even if it's just their backyard. He'll have gotten them a play set for outside and eventually, maybe, a trampoline. He'll buy them bug collector kits and gardening tools because he wants to inspire them to explore.

He'll take them to the park or on little walking trails, too. It's good exercise for them all. Will make a fun little family trip out of it from time to time, bringing a picnic with them.

Won't teach his kids karate unless they show an interest in it, but who am I kidding? They're likely going to have an interest in karate because of their dad. So he'll happily teach them. His favorite thing would be taking them to the dojo and letting them practice with the big kids when they're doing drills. It makes them feel empowered to do anything they set their minds to.

Movie nights where everyone falls asleep on the couch or in the pillow fort they built, but this entails the kids laying on top of Miguel where he can't get up even if he wanted to. He just wraps his arms around his kids and falls asleep with them, even if it is gonna hurt his back in the morning.

ok more kidfic: do u have any pregnancy hcs? Especially for Foolish bc I've only rarely seen him as a dad :3

u have no idea what u've just unleashed 90% of the brainrot bulletpoint list i have for this au is pregnancy headcanons asjdfadkjs

this is like 90% just copy pasted from that bulletpoint list and slightly edited and also i've had this document since may of last year and have been slowly adding on to it every once in a while since then so FAIR WARNING this post is Quite Long

they try decorating the nursery themselves but neither of them know what to get or how to make it cute so then foolish calls up tina who eventually just makes them call up an interior designer XD

can you imagine them telling their friends abt it. can u imagine how cute auntie tina would be. she would be taking it so serious like she doesnt want any of the responsibility but she wants to be like the cool aunt y'know

random tidbit but i can so imagine a conversation between tina and foosh where they start talkin about the phrase "buns in the oven." like i think tina would think that phrase is really cute. i think that phrase is really cute tbh. hes got buns in the oven :>

following in the vein of nervous-but-excited-newly-pregnant-couple them going to foolish's prenatal care appointments and taking his health like super seriously. also ultrasounds. i dont think either of them would Cry cry but theyd maybe get a little teary eyed lookin at their kids for the first time

on some more classic omegaverse bullshit: punz had always been a bit possessive/protective as a partner and that very much continues once theyre mates and foolish is pregnant. like really frequently is holding his hand or has an arm around him, tries to be really doting and get him whatever he asks. not as common when theyre in public but one of his fave things to do is hug foolish from behind with his hands on his stomach

i'd imagine they have a few arguments esp when foolish is hormonal and does/says shit that annoys punz and he cant understand why. they work it out tho, bc they love each other <3

in the time leading up to foolish's due date his nesting instincts go crazy. theres nests everywhere in the whole house. when hes not sitting chilling in a nest hes making a new one or readjusting one

(this one is real long bc it is a vaguely drafted out scene oops) foolish's water breaks on stream/at least when he's in vc on someone else's stream bc like. i deffo think it would. u think this man would take a break? like the streams would get shorter especially as his hormones and instincts get more fucky but he would still be trying to be on that grindTM. and (bcuz this is the part i actually vaguely researched) he's been having like the irregular not actually real contractions (theres a name im forgetting it rn) so hes gotten used to just like feeling them, noting when the time is, and brushing it off when it doesnt happen again. so he's in vc with someone, i'm thinking tina lets just say tina, and he's in the middle of laughing really hard at a joke, but abruptly cuts off his windexing when he feels the whole "rush of fluid" thing and is all like o_o and tina's all like "foolish? you okay?" when he stops laughing like that and foolish is like "uh. i think my water just broke?" which makes tina go all "wait What?! like- like the baby's coming?" "yeah" "foolish!" (chat is freaking out. monkaS monkaW fukW) "shouldnt you like, go to the hospital?" "yeah, uh, bye chat!" (chat has been yelling at him since he said his water broke to end stream) he yells for punz who ofc comes rushing into the room like "whats going on do you need something" and when foolish tells him his water just broke he starts freaking out a little and then foolish has a contraction right then (is that realistic timing tbh its been a while since i did that google search. what i do remember is that theres apparently apps for timing contractions like isnt that neat. anyways) but then theyre like "sorry tina bye!" and then tinas like "good luck!" (is that a normal thing to say idk. even if it isnt it could be funny hashtag awkward girl swag /affectionate) and then they like drive to the hospital and stuff

i just have this image of like the night they come back from the hospital both of them in their nest with the babies laying between them oughhhhhh

listen i just think this is really cute but punz sitting on the edge of the hospital bed while foolish is in labor so he can lean into him and calm down with his scent

actually thought abt it a bit more and mayb this is more general omegaverse hcs but like i think omegas would have an instinct to give birth in a nest which obv is harder to do while also having the support of modern medicine in a hospital but maybe it is more normalized to bring some blankets/pillows/clothes/what have you to make a lil temporary nest in the hospital bed

foolish is way more absentminded/no thoughts head empty than usual (like forgets what hes saying in the middle of a sentence bad) bc of fucked up hormones pregnancy brain

he tries having one or two blankets wrapped around him on stream to be sort of like a temporary nest when his instincts start going wacky. sometimes it works sometimes he accidentally gets too sleepy and begrudgingly admits that he should probably end stream bc he can barely think thru the omega nesting instinct brain fog

actually on that note i think there a couple of times where punz basically forces him to take a break from streaming. it never lasts very long

i have decided that the timing of their baby is such that foolish is like 7/8 months when christmas rolls around bc i was at family christmas brainrotting what it would be like for them to have like cute domestic family christmas while foolish is still pregnant. he falls asleep on the couch leaning against punz's shoulder after dinner its very cute

they maybe do a thing where like they have christmas with one family on eve and one on day and have a slightly chaotic nighttime flight? do the flight times work out for that idk. but its bc their families wanna see them bc theyre all excited for the baby awwww

wait just remembered the whole scene i had imagined for this where they land in mass super late at night/early morning and once they get back to punz's parents house p much immediately go to bed but foolish cant sleep bc the babies keep moving and kicking and punz scootches down so hes all curled up next to his tummy and purrs at them so that they calm down and foolish can sleep

at the end of his pregnancy foolish is just like capital d Done like get these babies out my back hurts im tired my belly is fuckin huge. ive got tits now

punz very happily gives him back massages tho <3 even if he sometimes gets overdramatically whiny about it first

foolish is one day horrified to realize none of his usual foods are appealing and he is instead craving some weird ass food combo

when foolish starts showing more and its gonna be harder to hide on stream they do a cute lil classic pregnancy announcement photo where punz like has his hands around him on his belly (maybe taken by karl? or someone? i just realized i have no idea where i hc them living like i guess its always been vaguely nc but idk if thats like. necessary? idk whatever) but im imagining the one they end up posting isnt even one of the ones they were posing for its like a candid one where theyre looking at each other over foolishs shoulder or like laughing or something idk its cute its not staged and weird lookin

oh also at some point punz convinces foolish to do a maternity photoshoot (well kind of. its just punz taking pics of him in his underwear bc he maybe has a Thing for heavily pregnant foolish) and at first foolish feels kinda embarrassed and silly and punz keeps complimenting him and making him flustered (i have a couple of lil doodles of this + a few other ones related to this au in a sketchbook somewhere but i dont feel like digging them out + taking pics rn ajfsbajskb)

final note would like everyone to know as i was typing this foolish lost his water bucket in mc and he phrased it like "my water just broke" and chat was all like "wow congratulations whos the father." like what are the chances. also why is he like this. also can u really blame me for making this au when he is like this

Ughhhh I have like three separate ideas for horny Kylar drabbles rotating in my head rn... 2/3 are (step)cest because I'm nasty like that. I wanna write and send all of them to your inbox at some point but I can't decide which one to start with... o(-<

Would you maybe like to pick?? Obviously not forcing you, as I'll likely write all of them at some point anyways, but if you're interested in a specific one I'd be happy to hurry up and deliver!! So far I have:

A) Kylar has a new stepsis who he's predictably obsessed with and wants to breed. His parents are NOT helpful. In fact, they're actively picking out names for their grandchildren and planning a vacation that will conveniently leave their kids home alone. They probably recognise this is their son's only hope of actually getting laid, so they enable him hard. The stepsis is fucked, in every way possible.

B) Needy stepbro Kylar who's so pathetic that his big sister just HAS to take care of him :(( she knows he'll die a virgin if she doesn't step in so of course she'll let her baby brother creampie her :(( and why not also let him use her anytime he gets a boner, even if it means being fucked by him almost constantly :(( that's what good older sisters do, and if she's a bit mean in the process it's definitely not because she likes making him cry and whimper underneath her, obviously not <3

C) Wow! A non-incest one! But hey, it has pet play, the other kink that has me in a chokehold. It's basically just me wanting to make Kylar my puppy. Buy him a collar, order some custom engravings on it so that he can think about having physical proof of who he belongs to and then get hard like the little freak that he is <3 Just some mildly fluffy pet play because Kylar is a pathetic wet dog of a man and needs to be treated accordingly. The fact that he'd be a bit too into it is besides the point <3

As a side note: I'll also likely write the first two in second person, and the third one will be either using 'you' too, or just flat-out not mention any pronouns at all. I've written stuff like that before and it was pretty fun. I'll see how it goes, I guess!

— 🐾

oh man oh man... first of all, thank you!!! im honoured to know that you wanna send me some writing MWAH. secondly, im a sucker for corruption running through the whole family like... god u have no idea.... his parents KNOWING and ENCOURAGING??? so fucking hot to me ugh </3 so that would be my pick!

however, all of these are sooooo sexy and i can't wait to read them all... it's hard to pick between them!

i hope you're doing well <3 please do take your time!!

Fannon is on the floor rn, my friend. I am curled up in a ball. Still, this was a pick me up, bc I’ve been so tired lately (chronic illness yeyyy🎉)

Is, like Merlin saying there’s no place for magic, Will telling Mike he can’t run away going to shoot him in the foot? Either way, poor babies.

Stares Once More at the Important Person Mike hints. What are u up to that you’re gone for a week Sir Cinderella???🤔🤔 why are the glowing flowers going to save ur ass??

(………..I have a theory about what duty Mike wants to avoid that I Dearly hope is wrong. I shan’t say what it is bc I do Not want to put that out into the universe and have the universe make it correct. I mean if you’re writing it I’ll Love it, but I will be In Pain. Michael betrayal arc?😭😭?)

The flower crafting imagery!!!! again, your Artistry!! So so beautiful!!! Are you secretly magic?? Bc your way with words!!!

I hope dearly that Will isn’t going to get in trouble for such a beautiful thing🥲🥀

First part👀? As in, sequel?👀👀

Thank you for writing such beautiful things!! It always makes me smile when I see you’ve posted☺️❤️ 👉🥇🏆 Fannon’s favorite writer award❤️

fannon!! i'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so tired :( i have friends that deal with chronic illnesses, so i know those can be draining; i am sending you the best of vibes and hope you can feel a little better soon :]

as far as the Merlin stuff goes: exactly!! it reminded me of that scene from Merlin specifically because Will's clearly lying about how he really feels in the name of doing what he thinks is better for Mike and for the "greater good" or whatever (even if that's clearly not what Mike wants - oh wow does this sound familiar?? van scene i am looking at you)

hmmmmmm your Mike speculations are perhaps warranted 👀 i can say with certainty that you will know by the end of the next chapter heheheheh. also i'm curious as to what you think Mike's trying to avoid!! once the next couple of chapters come out, i'd love to know if your hunches were right or not :D

and the writing compliment T_T i'm so glad you like it!! AND AHHH THE FLOWER MAKING SCENE!! that's been one of my favorites to write out of anything i've written this year, especially because i feel like a lot of the stuff i've written has either skewed towards humorous or,,,would utilitarian be the right word?? i guess a lot of the time i feel like i don't write pretty things, but i feel like i did with that chapter. this whole fic has been a chance for me to write with more flowery (pun intended) imagery, so it's been really fun in that respect, and i'm glad you're enjoying it!!

i can't even think about a sequel because i'm still stuck trying to write this one unfortunately T_T (*crying x 1000*) i've been stuck on it for the past few weeks actually - i've written enough ahead that i can still release something at least once a week, but i've been in a bit of a block trying to get past the part i'm currently writing. i even had to go to my local giant body of water and walk around in it today to try and get myself to think lol

i am accepting your award with honor and am placing it on my highest shelf where i can look at it every day~ it means the world to me 💜

thank you for your kind words, as always!! i hope you feel better soon :] 💜💜💜

This whole segment its likeeee *shudders* idk how to say it. Like the whole freaking vibe of it its sooooooooo like romantic and innocent(?) and rreeeeeks of pining and the obliviosity and the adoration

Her realizing how important he'd become but not wanting to acknowledge it or like tell it to him because that would make her actually realize how important he was and we don't want that now do weee ( yes we do but yk)

But then telling him that like THAT- "you surprised me" and then calling him an angel and the brief moment of slight unnoticeable panic she had, not wanting him misunderstand her when she said "stupidly angelic"

aND THEN THE "But I saved you dint I" thingie he saysssss like godssssssssssss and then the smoothest transition to The Creek Moment TM and the shift in his eyes and like the whole vibe it just- breaks me aND THE BELLY BUTTON PIERCINGGGGGAAAAAAAAHHH

And like she wasn't the only one who forgot hyunjin asked her a question. I did too. And at least she like remembered again I would not have if she hadn't. Cause like that's how immersive your writing is it just pulls me in and i- drown. I die. Like every time I'm reading your stuff after a while I feel like I'm floating like you know that feeling- like the one you get when you've just daydreamt a really great scene that you came up with? Your writing makes me feel like that. Like I feel like idk like I'm a whole new person and I'd missed that feeling the past few days when I hadn't been able to read your stories and I feel so good rn.

Also like this vibe it's what I like writing about the most. And the fact that my favorite author writes it and writes it so great it's just- Idek why but it makes me feel validated for some reason

hi baby

thank u for pointing out and analyzing this whole scene ! i loved reading that. mutual pining is a gift from god i love that so much. i love reading your real time thoughts and freaking out about this😭 its so cute and gratifying. i day dream all the time so i know exacrly what you mean and wow to convey that feeling to you, i feel proud 🫡 a whole new person ahh your compliments make me blush literally

your favorite author,,, let me cry😿 and you are validated !!

Ooooooh you do 👀 yeah it's obvious idols lurk, some might not understand everything perfectly because of slang etc, but still they must be so confused and embarrassed. My friend's cousins went to school with a few idols, it's so funny because they're not kpop fans at all

I think some fans, girls mostly would rather imagine their male idols with men, because it brings them some sort of arousal, but also they don't wanna see them with other women

Smut gets notes it's true, even badly written sex scenes lmao. It's pretty sad, but also makes perfect sense so I don't blame people for writing it.

Hongjoong daddy I don't think... none of them really, but lmaoooo. I saw TOO MANY daddy Seonghwa fics 🥴

Watersports akydjaydhsshahs maybe they should do it in water to cleanse themselves, but it's just peeing 😭😭😭 why

Thank you I hope I get Seonghwa! Thankfully I always do, my GOMs are <333 please look at his birthday MD cards THE FIRST ONE?!?! 😩 lil professor

https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1526782583815684098?t=jfm2HYBua1LtIvluALgoZw&s=19

THEY DROPPED THAT MV OUT OF THE SUDDEN I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE I'D BE LATE JSYSHASYAHAHAGSG THAT SANHWA THUMBNAIL WAS ALREADY TOO MUCH to handle I kept staring at them like this 👁👁 for 10 minutes. And Hongjoong too excuse me??? Fuck you man!!!

But Sanhwa... corset... bandaged midriff I'm ill, I'm so sick bestie 💀 Yeosang was so rude too, hate that buff bitch :/

Uhm Seonghwa bro, I'm going to manhandle you if you don't stop this shittttt

https://twitter.com/MATZFEED/status/1526589610838614016?t=o6h9EfaqB0VC1wNLxGxAQw&s=19

Gonna have a boxing match baby SQUARE UP🥊🥊 (jk I wouldn't fight him, because he'd cry :"(). Even when he's in the background he's doing the most, main character vibes

https://twitter.com/rockstarphwa/status/1526584490847571969?t=GiNUy1zPDs_zDhNo1N0kZg&s=19

JAWLINE FOR FUCKING DAYSSSSSS and the HWAIST 🥵😵 I'm looking SO SO HAAAAARDDDDD my eyes almost fell out. I was on a work call for 3 hours, but this was all I could think of, I was on Twitter the whole time... I'm not team boxer istg, I'm not but I'm all in for Rocky Hwa. Had to watch wholesome videos of him nomnoming to cleanse myself.

Random question, thoughts on merman Hwa? I saw some fan art from DV era and I can't stop thinking about it 😳 - DV 💖

HI!

Ooooooh you do 👀 yeah it's obvious idols lurk, some might not understand everything perfectly because of slang etc, but still they must be so confused and embarrassed. My friend's cousins went to school with a few idols, it's so funny because they're not kpop fans at all

i do 👁👄👁 two actually 👁👄👁 you know some too 👁👁 hello 👁👁

I think some fans, girls mostly would rather imagine their male idols with men, because it brings them some sort of arousal, but also they don't wanna see them with other women

THAT IS SOOOOOO TRUE idk why this screams a certain fandom, if u know which one-

Smut gets notes it's true, even badly written sex scenes lmao. It's pretty sad, but also makes perfect sense so I don't blame people for writing it.

yeah !!!! i saw someone like rn, transition into a smut writer after the fluff and it surprises me how much it can change their entire writing fbwbdjd 😭😭😭

Hongjoong daddy I don't think... none of them really, but lmaoooo. I saw TOO MANY daddy Seonghwa fics 🥴

nONE OF THEM SERIOUSLY ARE DADDY put them in a room with a bug and they’re rUNNING,,,,, those daddy kink fics 😔😔

Watersports akydjaydhsshahs maybe they should do it in water to cleanse themselves, but it's just peeing 😭😭😭 why

????? IM????? SO????? HELP?????

Thank you I hope I get Seonghwa! Thankfully I always do, my GOMs are <333 please look at his birthday MD cards THE FIRST ONE?!?! 😩 lil professor

FBMADBSK SEND A EXTRA SEONGHWA THIS WAY FMANDJW i…i prof hwa sounds so good but i just know the trope is so problematic 😭😭😭😭😭

https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1526782583815684098?t=jfm2HYBua1LtIvluALgoZw&s=19

TEACH ME TEACH ME TEACH ME TEACH ME

THEY DROPPED THAT MV OUT OF THE SUDDEN I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE I'D BE LATE JSYSHASYAHAHAGSG THAT SANHWA THUMBNAIL WAS ALREADY TOO MUCH to handle I kept staring at them like this 👁👁 for 10 minutes. And Hongjoong too excuse me??? Fuck you man!!!

NO BC FHWKFJKWHDKW CHOI SAN NEEDS TO PUT THIS FUCKING TONGUE BACK IDC IDC HE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED FBWMFBSM also. song mingi.

But Sanhwa... corset... bandaged midriff I'm ill, I'm so sick bestie 💀 Yeosang was so rude too, hate that buff bitch :/

THEIR WAISTS 😩😩😭😭😭😭 the bandage iS ASKING TO RIP,, will pay san to do it @ concert,, NO BC YEOSANG??? THIS ENTIRE MV IS SO?? bANNED BAN BAN

Uhm Seonghwa bro, I'm going to manhandle you if you don't stop this shittttt https://twitter.com/MATZFEED/status/1526589610838614016?t=o6h9EfaqB0VC1wNLxGxAQw&s=19

Gonna have a boxing match baby SQUARE UP🥊🥊 (jk I wouldn't fight him, because he'd cry :"(). Even when he's in the background he's doing the most, main character vibes

https://twitter.com/rockstarphwa/status/1526584490847571969?t=GiNUy1zPDs_zDhNo1N0kZg&s=19 JAWLINE FOR FUCKING DAYSSSSSS and the HWAIST 🥵😵 I'm looking SO SO HAAAAARDDDDD my eyes almost fell out. I was on a work call for 3 hours, but this was all I could think of, I was on Twitter the whole time... I'm not team boxer istg, I'm not but I'm all in for Rocky Hwa. Had to watch wholesome videos of him nomnoming to cleanse myself

uHUH UR NOT TEAM BOXER HAHA UHUH no bc i watched it first thing i could not register it i had to cleanse myself

Random question, thoughts on merman Hwa? I saw some fan art from DV era and I can't stop thinking about it 😳 - DV 💖

actually i don’t mind it,,,,,, what’s ur thoughts on siren hwa 👁,,, fan art u say 👁

back at it again with all my thoughts while watching Echoes of the Past

PAST EDA PAST EDA PAST EDA

can't tell if lilith has already broken or if she's truly always loved watching paint dry but my money's on the former

LUZ! GLYPHS! INIVISIBLE!!!

oh my god, luz and lilith are huge fucking nerds over glyphs and i am here for it

lilith perhaps instead of thinking you know everything about history from being a scholar in the coven, perhaps you should consider that belos wiped shit from history

remember when we were all like, king and lilith will get along?? they certainly aren’t here.

"he called me ignorant!! me!?" lilith pls it's only been like 2 weeks since you left the coven

anyways between the fact that she briefly mentioned belos earlier and that she's appalled to be called ignorant i'm gonna say lilith definitely still has conflicted feelings about the emperor and the covens as a whole

anyways i think hooty is somehow even more obnoxious after becoming friends with lilith

it's lilith's fault we all had to listen to hooty remove himself.

PORTAHOOTY REPORTING FOR HOOTY

eda in bathrobe 👀i am gay

"oh no not again" eda how many times has this happened

WHY DOES EDA JUST HAVE THAT BATH TUB THING

"this island shouldn't be here, it's not on any maps" yeah because someone probably doesn't want people to know about it

headcanon rn that eda taught luz to graffiti

"history mystery" LILITH YOU NERD I LOVE YOU

confirmed luz is actual sweetheart but we knew that

"who knows what other parts of history we scholars have missed" you didn't miss them!! i guarantee they've been erased on purpose by emperor asshat

love the subtle acknowledgements that eda is definitely just getting drunk off apple blood

pls all these guard things sitting in their holes in the wall is giving me enigma of amigara fault vibes and anything that reminds me of that makes me feel sick

"my lord" lilith pls no. i really think how quickly she switched over to believing him and calling him lord demonstrates just how much her time in the coven has made her susceptible to believing or trusting things with the slightest bit of proof

WHY ARE WE RUNNING YOU BOTH HAVE A STAFF SURELY THATS FASTER

eda knows this thing can't get past the barrier so it's understandable she's not running, but i hate that lilith saw it coming to attack and just kinda braced herself. when eda tried to hurt her in ybos we assumed it was cause she felt she deserved it but now im wondering if just bracing herself to take whatever is coming is lilith's common response and if so that's concerning ok maybe I looked at this wrong and she’s just trying to protect Eda but still there’s a sense of be willing to get hurt there.

BABY KING!!

DOES DANA VOICE BABY KING??

i, uh, wow, this does feel kinda messed up on eda's end for creating this fantasy for king and lying about it for years. i mean i think she had good intentions keeping it up, but uh yeah finding out a truth like that can mess a person up

"i can't tell what's real and what's fake" of all the characters i'd expect to make me cry, king wasn't at the top of my list but uh this line did it in for me. i mean that certainly sums up what uncovering repressed memories can feel like, or at least in my experience it does. it's really scary to remember things all of a sudden and not know what to believe anymore, even if it's stuff from your own mind. it can make you feel crazy, so i empathize with king a lot here

pls that was such a sweet interaction between eda and king

PLEASE I LOVE THIS:

they're using luz's new glyph combo!!

KINGS EYES ARE SO SHINY FOR A HOT SEC

KINGS DAD????

also is king like younger than Luz. if he was looking like a baby 8 years ago he can’t be much older than that.

nope nope nope i hate that they did in fact take the thing home

Oml hi 😳 help I'm so nervous sending you this ask because I've never really interacted with 18+ blogs but HELLO LIKE I READ LOVE ME HATE ME AND I'M LITERALLY ON THE FLOOR CRYING

PLEASE LIKE IT WAS SO GOOD?? I WILL NEVER REGRET SPENDING LIKE AN HOUR SITTING DOWN TO READ THIS MASTERPIECE 😭 first of all you captured the emotions SO perfectly like I'm actually going insane. The amount of times my heart like ached and the amount of times my stomach churned like HELLO LIKE THERE WAS SO MUCH THRILL AND ALSO SO MUCH PAIN??? I can't even express how much I loved it like holy shit. The way sunghoon's words broke me right at the beggining when he made that nasty remark about yn. Please like its crazy how you wrote this so beautifully,,,, the retracing back in his memories when he was trying to figure out when he first loved her. LIKE ⁉️⁉️⁉️ BESTIE I'M TRYING NOT TO CRY AT THIS WORK OF ART RN 😭😭😭 the way there was sm smut but like at the end especially, it felt like so beautiful?? LIKE THE SMUT SEEN FELT SO BEAUTIFUL AND HELP THAT'S SO RARE IN WRITING. LIKE I REALLY FELT THE DEEP CONNECTION THEY HAD WITH EACH OTHER AND HOW MUCH THE LOVE AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER???!! HELP ITS SO SO SO GOOD 😭 ON ANOTHER NOTE,,, GOSH THE SEXUAL TENSION THO HELLPPPP LIKE IT WAS SO PERFECT. LIKE HELLO I AGREE WITH HER FRIENDS??? I COULD LITERALLY FEEL HOW THICK THE AIR WAS. PLS THE FIRST SCENE WHEN SHE PUT HER HAND ON HIS THIGH???? BYE IM GONE THAT WAS VERY HOT PSFAIQFAJASSHAYA

ENOUGH OF MY SIMPING THO BECAUSE THIS WAS WRITTEN SO GORGEOUSLY??? THE WAY YOU INTWINED YOUR SENTENCES TOGETHER AND THE DIALOUGE??? HELLO YES THE BEAUTY OF THE DIALOUGE!! ALSO YOUR CHARACTERS WERE SO THREE-DIMENSIONAL,,,, THE WAY YOU CHARACTERIZED ALL OF THEM!! NONE OF THEM LACKED AND ALL FELT SO FULL OF LIFE 😭😭 TRULY BEAUTIFUL. plus I really loved gyu's character he was so so so funny. And also Mark being oblivious to everything ehehe 🤩 but gosh I could go on for days but this is probably so long already I'm so sorry 😭 maybe I'll send u another ask about other parts I really loved about the story (only if it's not bothering you ofc) but I just wanted to send you this ask to appreciate your hard work! You're so talented and gosh this story was truly a masterpiece.

OML BEFORE I GO (SORRY SFAHAFA IM SO WHIPPED FOR YOUR ACCOUNT) LIKE YOUR GRAPHICS ARE SO FCKING GOOD⁉️⁉️⁉️ LIKE BESTIE HOLY SHIT THE TALENT YOU POSSESS IS INSANE😭🤩 anyways, I hope you're having the best day/night! Take care ♡♡♡

you have no idea how much your ask made me happy, it literally made my whole week!! i haven't been feeling good these past days and hearing this from you is just???? it made me feel so good???? and happy??? and appreciated???? i read this ask for at least 3 times before replying thanks for putting a smile on my face????????????? im not the best when it comes to expressing my feelings but i hope you understand how much it means to me that you spent your time to write all of this and send me!! im so thankful seriously if i was on mobile i would have put tons on emojis fhdjskl :') you literally have no idea how your beautiful kind words made me feel seriously :c

AND PLEASE DO KEEP TALKING TO ME ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE PARTS OF THE FIC I'D LOVE TO HEAR THEM I GET SO HAPPY WHEN PEOPEL TALK ABOUT THE SCENES BC WHEN I WAS WRITING I THOUGHT 'AH WOULD THIS SCENE BE SOMEBODYS FAVORITE I HOPE THEY TALK TO ME ABOUT IT'

beomgyu's character was actually nct's jungwoo but i had to change his dialogues to fit beomgyu's personality more and tbh i was gonna change mark w taehyun then i was like I LOVE MARK'S CHARACTER SO MUCH AND ITS JUST SCREAMS MARK so i couldnt bc ig he's my fave character in the fic so i left him there <333 the og characters were ten = soobin, yuta = heeseung, jay = taeyong, jake = johnny bghfdjkls

i can literally talk about love me hate me for hours it's my baby nothing i write from now on will pass love me hate me ITS MY CHILD and the fact that it was originally a nct jaehyun fic fydhsujk ANYWAYS SO PLEASE DO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT

I was hoping that pic was you and wow I can’t believe I was right!!! You’re absolutely gorgeous, and not to be weird but I think I’ve stared at for more than a whole minute imaging what you look like without the bra on. Also, knowing you got that excited from seeing my ask is making me so happy!

Hearing your cute laughs and moans from my kisses would be so amazing, it would make me want you even more if that’s even possible. I would be pressing you against every surface, just trying to get closer to you, to feel our bodies pressed against each other. Hips against hips or tits against tits turns me on so much. And yes I am such a tease, but only for you. Ik you’d be so wet for me, so good and ready for my fingers. God, you’re so needy, throbbing and thrusting in the air rn at the thought of me. It would feel so much better if you thrust up against something honey. Ik you want to hump against my hand so badly, but unfortunately you’ll just have to imagine I’m there with you, pressing my hand up against your pussy as I suck on your neck. Your begging for my fingers is making me so wet rn. Since you asked so nicely I’d slip another finger or two in you. Your tight pussy would feel so good, your juices dripping down my fingers. I’d curl my fingers inside you and start to move them in and out as you beg for me to go faster and harder. I’d pump them in and out of you, hearing your wetness. Fucking you with my fingers would make me throb and shake, I’d be panting in your ear and moaning. You’re doing so good, taking my fingers so well. You’re such a good girl letting me fuck you like this. So needy for just my fingers. I’d move my fingers so that they hit just the right spot making you cry for me as you come. I’d keep thrusting them in you to ride out your orgasm, letting my thumb wander to you clit for even more pleasure. When you’ve had enough and beg me to stop I’d lovingly lift my fingers to my mouth to taste your come and juices. Ugh I’m so so wet rn thinking about fucking you, I wish you could feel for yourself how soaked you’re getting me.

-✨

omg omg I'm so happy you feel that way, you're making me feel so flattered 😭💗 and the fact that you were hoping it was me? ugh, so fucking sweet, thank you so, so much. and it's not weird at all, especially since I now have so many ideas of stripping out of it for you, slowly and teasingly, watching how you tease up as I show you what's underneath. yes omg I get so excited when you send an ask!

god, baby, you can have as much as you want, it's all yours to play with. each part of our body rubbing and grinding into each other's, nipples rubbing and grazing, hips rubbing and humping together - an actual dream. yes, baby, you're my tease, always playing around with me until I'm a dripping mess, begging for more. I am needy, my hips keep jerking, walls clenching, wishing any part of you was filling me up and keeping me stuffed. trust me, I am imagining it, just running my hands along your back, stroking it, digging my nails in as you fuck me hard and good. are you wet, sweetheart? I masturbated once this morning, to the idea of getting eaten out and praised, while wearing that bralette, and honestly, you're tempting me for a second round. thank you, thank you for filling me up so good. fuck, I just know your fingers would feel so good in me, flicking and curling, my pussy so tight around it. I'd love to look up and see the expressions you make, the noises falling from your lips, as you first slip those fingers in, feeling how wet I've been for you this whole time, how much my pussy wants to keep your fingers inside. I'm even just thinking of you making that first thrust, my juices leaking down your palm, then you tugging your fingers out, and running your tongue along the mess I've made while staring at me. I'd whine, dragging you close, immediately sucking on your tongue, rubbing my breasts against your gorgeous ones. I'm have the hugest thing for noises. knowing you're panting and moaning because you're fingering me would make me feel the double amount of pleasure, knowing you feel so good from pleasuring me and making me feel fucking amazing. ugh, yes, baby, your good girl 🥺 my clit is what gets me going the most, your thumb on it would definitely make me get hit with such a hard orgasm. please, let's both suck on your fingers. fuck, fuck, knowing you're so turned on is making me so horny. please, baby, let me grind up into your wet pussy, you deserve to feel so good

Got tagged by the marvelous @hvnnigram and I can't wait to bare my soul to you guys. this is a long one, so let's go!!

Rules: Tag people you want to get to know better 🖤

Your name and then what you would've named yourself: My full name is Montserrat (I'm Mexican, in case you couldn't tell. Well Mexican-American but anywho) but I typically go by Montse. Mainly cuz people struggle to pronounce my full name hehe but I also just think it's less of a mouthful. Idk, I honestly really love my name and don't think I'd change it given the chance. Maybe something shorter just cuz paperwork can be a bitch. I like Rene but otherwise, I'm pretty attached to my name lol.

Astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): I'm a sun Pisces, a moon Aries, and a rising Virgo, I believe :)) All in all, I'm an emotional, empathetic bitch

When did you join Tumblr and why?: Was going through my emails yesterday and I've been here for a year?? apparently. So yea, I joined Aug./Nov. of 2019 and I'm almost certain it was cuz I wanted to see more Good Omens fanart lol. But I got more active this year cuz quarantine do be forcing me to have some wack coping mechanisms. Also BBC Merlin had me reeling and I needed somewhere to scream.

Top 5 fandoms: Hannibal (obviously), BBC Merlin, Killing Eve, Good Omens, and The Umbrella Academy 😊

Top 5 favorite films: (oh Lord, the cinema buff in me is Panicking rn) God, there's so many I love but I'll try to give varietyTM. But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), Parasite (2019), The Wind Rises (2013), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), and Hector and the Search for Happiness (2014).

Go to song when you wanna Feel something: if we're talking like emotionally charged, TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan always sends me reeling. Endorphins wise, Ahora Te Puedes Marchar by Luis Miguel always makes me wanna jump and move around. And La Vie Boheme from RENT, just pure serotonin

What's your religion or faith, if you have one?: I was raised with a heavy Catholic background but I'm agnostic, I believe is the term. Basically, I don't think there's not a God or higher power(s). I just don't align with anything specifically. But I do believe there's something running things, whether that be spirits, the stars, gods, etc. I can't say.

A song that makes you feel seen: Not to be a theatre kid on main but, Breathe from In The Heights. That song and whole musical hold such a special place in my heart, esp with Nina's character cuz I'm Nina. Every part of that song just Gets Me and i ugh, can't articulate it but yea, that song be me.

If you could pick a career: A writer or painter. Anything creative/artsy really cuz crafting is just so calming to me.

Do you have a type?: ngl, I'm kinda the 'falls in love with their best friend' stereotype but beyond that, not really. I kinda just see attractive people and mentally short circuit

What does your soul/heart yearn for?: Not to sound like a character from Hannibal, but to be understood. To be cared for and feel supported. To allow myself to rest and be comforted/loved. Just to feel safe ig. Whoop, that got personal, anywho

If you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: intelligent, caring, awkward, Very Queer, and chaotic

Favorite subject in school: English and History!! I think they're absolutely fascinating and I'm gay so obviously I connect way too much with literature

Where does your soul feel most at home at?: Close to someone that I love, in comfortable silence. Or any situation where I have wind blowing in my face, it's super comforting and idk why

Top 5 fictional characters: Rowena from SPN, Bella Crawford, Beverly Katz, Eve Polastri, and Jack Crawford

Top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry:

1. The ending of Your Lie In April. Idk if any of yall have experienced that, but let me know if you have cuz shared trauma. I was crying so hard, I couldn't breathe. Dry heaving and everything, it was Not Pretty

2. Like literally all of One Day At Time. I know, it's cheesy but that show means a lot to me and I get so emotional watching it cuz I connect to the characters so much. Anything with Elena makes me sob cuz like she's me but also my baby, ya know

3. Um Queer Eye in general but specifically the episode with the gay pastor. That hit close to home on so many levels and boy, was I sobbing the entire time.

(Before y'all ask, honorable mention to Mizumono, TWOTL, and the ending of BBC Merlin cuz I may have been too tired to cry, but trust me, I was emotionally wrecked after all three)

The earth, the sun, the moon, or the stars: Ooh, I'm gonna have to go with the stars but I love that lesbian space rock too

Favorite kind of weather: Thunderstorms, rain, cloudy, grey weather. Fall, I love the fall, give me autumn pleASE

Top 3 characters to kin you with: Guinevere Pendragon from BBC Merlin, Vanya Hargreeves from TUA, and Abigail Hobbs from Hannibal

Favorite medium of art: I love all art very much but I guess drawing and film especially

Introvert/Extrovert/Ambivert: Gonna say ambivert cuz I can be shy but buckle up, cuz the second I'm comfortable around you, it's absolute chaos. You will learn too much about me and that's okay 😌

Favorite literary quote: If poetry counts, it's something like "And if the devil was to ever see you, he'd kiss your eyes and repent". Idk who wrote it but it's an Arabic love poem. Actual book quote tho, "But I'm tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these little ways." from Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda cuz damn me too.

Some of your favorite books: Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, the Carry On series by Rainbow Rowell, When I Was Puerto Rican by Esmeralda Santiago, Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, All The Bright Places by Jennifer Lee, Autoboygraphy, and Copper Sun

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?: Europe or New York. No real specifics for Europe, defiently leaning more towards Western Europe and the Mediterranean cuz they just seem so pretty. And NY cuz I want a studio apartment hehe and also I adore NY. I went a couple years back and just fell in love. Although live is a loose term cuz I've always thought of moving around a lot. I like traveling and settling down isn't really convenient for that so these are kinda just ideals lol

If you could live in any time in history, when would it be?: Oh, defiently 60s/70s. Also, anytime matriarch societies were common cuz I wanna see what that looked like

If you could play any instrument masterfully, it would be: the acoustic guitar and piano. Maybe violin, but those two for sure

If you have one, which god or goddess do you feel more connected to?: I've always really vibed with Athena so her. But also Diyonuses cuz man's is the ideal.

And finally, your favorite recent selfie in your camera role:

(Excuse the eye bags and look in general, I was sleepy when I took it)

Whoo, that's all folks. I'm just gonna say that any of my followers/mutuals who want to do this, feel free to say I tagged you. Thanks for tag, once again, babe!!

BTS Reaction: You Ask Them To Kill A Spider

Requested: nope, I am working on requests but I needed something funny rn :')

a/n: Myyyyy, FIFTH BTS reaction! that's literally not even impressive but.... (>*-*)>♥ *dis for you*

I just thought of this one night and thought it'd be hilarious 🤷🏻‍♀️ also I needed to put some crack/fluff out there after that painful JK angst I posted...

Warnings: none, unless you have arachnophobia or are just scared of spiders in genral, then read with caution cuz it may trigger you. I squirmed a bit tbh. But it's not that bad!

BTS Masterlist ← find all my works here loves~

*I do not own any of the gifs, all credits go to rightful owners*

KIM SEOKJIN:

Lmaoo, same Jin honey, same.

You'd think it was World War lll the way Jin was going about killing this spider.

You'd seen one when you were in your room changing for date night and you screamed for Jin to please come kill it. He had come into your room, a confused look on his face, "what's the matter, princess?" You told him to walk in further then pointed out the spider up in the corner of the room. Jin's eyes widened and he swallowed, there was no way he was gonna get that. But when he turned around again and went to leave you asked him where he was going and he stuttered out, "uuuh, to uh, I was gonna get a...shoe...to kill it..." Jin sighed and hung his head in defeat.

Now here he was, your precious fool of a husband–armed with several different types of shoes, a broom, cleaning spray, your sunhat on his head (in case it falls on him he said), and the lid of a pot for a shield.

You were backed up almost to the door, trying your very best not to laugh your head off, as he screamed then swung at the little beast, then screamed again. It went on like this for a while; Jin preparing himself then lunging forward and smacking the spider (trying to at least) then screaming and jumping back; starting the whole process again. Finally he hit it and shouted in victory after confirming it was dead. He turned and looked at you, smiling proudly, "I did it!" You clapped and hugged him after getting all his protective gear off, "thanks honey! You did great! Now I'll finished getting dressed." He nodded and let you finish up, then took you by the waist as you left for the date, "I'm pretty cool aren't I? I saved you from that spider." You laughed and side-hugged him as you walked, "you really are Jin baby, thank you~" He kissed your head.

He'd do anything for his princess, even face off the evil spider.

MIN YOONGI:

I'd sell all my limbs to be able to make that smile appear on Yoongi's face...

Yoongi had been in the 'Genius Lab' for a few hours now and you were lonely. So you decided to join him and at least watch him work on his latest project for a bit. After knocking and hearing Yoongi say to come in, you put in the code and open the door, "hey, can I sit with you while you work?" You ask when you've stepped in and closed the door behind you. Yoongi turns in his chair and smiles when he sees you, "of course jagi, I should be done soon but you can definitely join me." You smile and make yourself comfortable on his couch and he blows a kiss at you before turning to finish up.

You decide to take a small nap; so you lie down and curl up, closing your eyes. After a little while you squint your eyes open, looking at Yoongi. That's when you see a spider on the arm of the couch. Yoongi turns around when he hears you gasp, "Y-Yoongi!" He sees you scooted all the way to the other side of the couch and he looks at you quizzically, "what's the matter Y/n?" You point at the arm of the couch where the spider is sitting, "there's a spider right there."

Yoongi gets up and walks over, looking where you're pointing, when he sees it he laughs and grabs a random newspaper that was on his desk. He rolls it up and smacks the spider. Quick and easy. You relax and sit comfortably again.

"oh, haha, thanks baby." You laugh and mess with your hands in embarrassment at how easily he got the bug. Yoongi just smiles and shrugs, "no problem love. Now, are you ready to go? I'm all finished for tonight anyway." You smile and nod, taking Yoongi's hand and climbing off the couch when he holds it out to you.

"Just so ya know, Y/n...you owe me one now for saving your life."

"What?? It was just a spider Yoongi."

"Just a spider huh?"

"Yes."

"Well the way you screamed made it seem li-"

"Ok shut up."

Yoongi just smirks evilly and holds your hand tighter, swinging it between you two. He wasn't gonna let you live it down for a long time.

JUNG HOSEOK:

I'm gonna cry this gif is so funny, I'm so sorry Hobi lmaoooo

"How is your food, Jagi?" Hobi asks around a mouthful of cheeseburger. You nod and give him a thumbs up, letting him know the noodles you're eating are indeed delicious. Hobi smiles and goes back to eating happily, sipping on his beloved Sprite every now and then. The two of you decided to go out to lunch today, seeing as the weather was nice and sunny. You sit at a little outside table with an umbrella stuck in the middle of it; shielding you from the sun, talking about random things and just enjoying the food and each other's company.

You didn't think this day could get any better; hanging out with your favorite boy, eating yummy food and laughing till your sides hurt when he makes a funny joke and his contagious laughter rings out.

Hobi was in the middle of explaining how confusing the new dance routine was and how he was having a hard time helping the members out with it, when you see movement down by his elbow that is currently resting on the table. Your eyes flick down to it and then widen when you see it's a spider. Spiders are one of your biggest fears. Hobi looks at you curiously, then snaps in front of your face, "hey, Y/n, are you okay?" You point at his elbow and before you can even utter the whole sentence 'there's a spider' Hobi is screaming and jumping off his seat, smacking his knee hard on the table.

"Hobi! Are you okay?" You jump up as well and reach over to him, not even letting the spider be your priority right now. Hobi just jumps away from the table again, "i-it was a spider right??" You let out a squeak yourself and run behind him, "yes, it was right by your elbow." Hoseok makes a noise that sounds half like a groan and half like a scream, then he shivers.

"What do we do Hobi? It's still on the table and we haven't finished yet."

"I...uh..." You look up at your boyfriend's face and seeing that he really doesn't wanna do it- you swallow your fear and stand up straighter. You grab your shoe off your foot and walk forward to smack the little demon once and for all. That nasty thing wasn't about to ruin your date, phobia or not. Except you feel a hand on your arm and turn to see Hobi has stopped you.

"What's the matter Hobi?"

"Y/n, aren't you like, deathly afraid of spiders?"

You bite your lip, you didn't care as long as Hobi didn't have to do it. That's when he takes the shoe out of your hand and hurries forward, smacking the spider and trying not to hit the food, screaming when it falls on the ground and smacking it again and again while shouting the whole time.

That was your sweet brave boy Hobi, always looking out for you.

KIM NAMJOON:

Lol, why is shook Joonie so dang cute?

Namjoon was trying his best to keep the ingredients in the bowl as he stirred. It was a fairly simple task, but knowing Namjoon you were prepared to have a lot to clean up. Except, he was so excited and really wanted to help out with the brownies you were making, so you decided it really didn't matter how messy it got- as long as Joonie was having a good time.

Yes, he was having a lot of fun to be honest, you had made it through the measuring and pouring of everything and just a little cleanup had been necessary so far, thankfully. It wasn't until the mixing that things went downhill...No, it wasn't Joon's fault at all actually; it was the spider that decided he wanted to join in the fun that tipped things off.

Namjoon was super concentrated on mixing, and you were putting the ingredients you used back into the pantry and refrigerator. That's when you saw the spider on the floor; running like it's stupid little life depended on it, which, technically it did. You screamed and slammed the fridge shut, jumping as far as you could from the ugly little thing. Namjoon started and turned to see what the problem was, brownie batter spoon still in hand. When he saw it running across the floor he let out a shout of his own and tripped over his feet to get away. A little flour flew out of the bowl but neither of you cared-even some of the mixed batter splat on the ground, but again your attention was elsewhere.

"Joon! Kill it! Get it before it hides somewhere!"

"What?? Why me??" Namjoon looks at you in shock, still holding the mixing spoon covered in chocolate batter.

"Because you're the man! That's why!"

"B-but...but..." Namjoon stutters and looks back at the spider that is crawling up a wall now. He sets the bowl and spoon down and pulls his left shoe off; you won that argument so now he was gonna have to kill that thing.

Namjoon takes one last dramatic look at you, both your eyes big as saucers and mouths slightly open. Then he let's out a shout as he charges for the spider, all or nothing.

It's a good thing he's so tall, because the spider had made it a little ways up the wall, but it was no match for an aggressive and determined Namjoon.

He smacked it with such a force that you jumped from the sound.

His shoulders are heaving when he turns and looks at you with a serious glint in his eyes.

"Alrighty then Y/n....where were we?" Then he throws his shoe over by the door and marches back to the bowl, grabbing the spoon and stirring again, one lonely shoe on his right foot.

You can't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing.

PARK JIMIN:

Asjdjdjxiscavb why's he so cute for? >:(

"Hmmm, can you turn a little to the left baby?" You shift slightly to the left at your boyfriend's request and see him smile and give a thumbs up before disappearing behind his phone again.

The two of you were doing an aesthetic photoshoot. It was Jimin's idea and today was your turn to be the model; you two had decided that green was the color for today's shoot. At the moment you were lying back against a tree trunk as Jimin took the pictures with his phone. You blush as he keeps shouting praises at you, "lookin good baby! oh my gosh you're so cute! Beautiful girl! Yes, just like that!" After another few minutes Jimin asks you to lay in the grass so he can try a few different scenes.

You immediately comply; straightening out your outfit before situating yourself in the grass and lying down. Jimin walks over and smiles at you, then bends down and puts your hair over to one side, takes a few pictures, then moves your hair around your face and smiles down at you again. You giggle at him and try to pose while he snaps a few more shots. Jimin keeps chuckling too, "you're so cute baby, these pictures are gonna be so good. I can't wait t-" your brows furrow when your boyfriend cuts off in the middle of his sentence, his eyes locked to the right of your head.

"Jimin?"

"Uh.."

"Jimin what is it?" You start to panic and he puts his hand out, "don't move Y/n... I'll get it." Your eyes widen and it takes all your strength not to scream and jump up, but you choose to trust him and shut your eyes tightly.

The second you feel Jimin swat at your hair splayed on the ground you can't help yourself, so you jump up and squeal.

"IS IT OFF? IS IT OFF??"

Jimin starts laughing and doubling over, he can barely breathe he's cracking up so hard. You glare at him as you shake your hair and swat at your arms.

"What was it? Stop laughing!" When he finally catches his breath he gasps out, "it was just a little spider but the look on your face when I told you not to move was-was priceless!!" You shudder and move to smack him but he dodges you, "I hate spiders!" He just stifles his giggles and tries to put on a straight face.

"It's a good thing I got it then."

"Well, I'm done with nature for now. I'm hungry." You pout and he pinches your cheeks, cooing at you. "Ok baby, let's go get lunch." He takes your hand as you two walk out of the park.

"Jimin?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for getting the spider off me..." you mumble quietly. He looks at you and smiles, "awe, it wasn't a problem at all Jagi."

KIM TAEHYUNG:

Uwu uwu uwu, stop it stop it stop it >.<

You and Tae were lying on the couch scrolling through your phones. It was a lazy day and neither of you felt like doing much of anything. Your legs were draped over his and every once in a while he would bounce his legs to see your thighs jiggle a little, teasing you because he thought it was cute and it could always make you blush.

As he started to bounce his legs again you slap at him, missing him by a long shot because your arms couldn't reach him in that position, "Tae! Stop that!" He just giggles and hums at you, still bouncing your legs. You roll your eyes and look back at your phone, scrolling through Instagram. Suddenly a small black movement on your chest catches your eye, you look down and see a spider running across you. Screaming at the top of your lungs, you launch yourself off the couch and off of a very startled Taehyung–slapping your chest to get it off and swinging around wildly–still screeching. Eventually you yank your shirt off–thankfully you had on a tank top underneath, but you were about to tear that off too when Tae stops you, "Jagi! Calm down, stop stripping!! What is it??"

Your breathing is erratic and short and you gulp before pointing at the shirt on the ground that you ripped off, "there was a gigantic spider on my shirt Tae!! It just, it just ran across me with those spindly hairy legs!!!" You are about to cry and Tae jumps up to hug you–trying his best not to laugh, "it's okay love, I'll find it and get rid of it, ok?" You nod and whimper before he tells you to go back a few feet so he can find it.

After you're a safe distance away, Tae takes your discarded shirt and shakes it a little–causing another scream to leave your mouth when the little black spider falls to the carpet and starts running. It really wasn't very big at all but you hated spiders so much it seemed huge to you. The spider stops and sits there for a minute so Tae tells you to watch it and quickly grabs a glass from the kitchen and a piece of paper. When Tae walks closer to it, it starts to run again, "TAEEE!!! AHHHH!!!" You jump up and down and wring your hands, but Tae is still super calm– he even talks to the spider, "nope, no ya don't little buddy, come here." Tae drops the glass over it and once it's trapped he slides the paper under the glass, picking up the glass, spider and all. Then he walks it outside and further away from your door before letting it go. Tae comes back in and you're sitting on the couch, "thanks baby, but I'm still scared, I don't wanna sit here anymore."

He chuckles and sits next to you, pulling you into his lap, "don't worry Jagi, I'll protect you from all those bad spiders, ok?" You smile at him and snuggle up to his chest.

JEON JUNGKOOK:

oh huhuhuhuuuuuuu the cheeks! Someone hold me, I'm crying again.

"JUNGKOOOOOOK!!!!"

Jungkook jumped up and ran as fast as he could to your bedroom when he heard you shrieking. You had only been gone for a few minutes, saying you had to go to the restroom. He opened the door and didn't see you, "Y/n? Where are you?" Jungkook walked in further and then heard your voice coming from the open bathroom door in your room, "I'm in here Kookie, hurry up please." He walked over and looked in the bathroom to see you standing on the toilet, your eyes were huge and you were shaking, "What's the matter?" He stepped into the bathroom but froze when you screamed again, "ahh! Stop! Don't move Kook you'll scare it and it'll run again!" Jungkook looked around without taking another step. Then he looked back at you utterly confused, "what is it? You have to tell me what it is, I can't see anything." Your eyes were glued to a spot on the floor by the tub as you shakily pointed at where you were looking, "r-right there, it's a huge spider, oh gosh please kill it Kookie." Jungkook followed the line of your arm to see a black spider on the floor. oh frick, that was pretty big.

But he couldn't let you know it freaked him out too, he would just have to kill it for you. "Ok, uh, do you have something I can kill it with? Like, like a shoe or something?" You nodded and motioned for him to take your hand, so he took it and helped you jump off the toilet and over to where he was standing. You scurried out of the bathroom while Jungkook kept an eye on the spider. A second later you came back with a tennis shoe and a bottle of hairspray. Jungkook took the shoe and pointed at the hairspray,

"What's that for?"

"If you get too scared you can spray it and it'll slow it down.."

"Oh...ok."

Jungkook swallowed hard and moved slowly to the tub, you following close behind, bumping into his back. Suddenly he stops, "Baby..." You freeze as well–your heart thumping in your chest, "w-what?" He turns and looks at you, "maybe you should just stay back by the door." You nod and hurry back to safety, "good idea, thanks." He nods back and tries not to smile. After a lot of smacking and screaming and running (not just from you if we're being honest), and yes some hairspray was used, the spider is finally dead.

You breathe a sigh of relief as Jungkook flushes it down the toilet, then walks back over to you and you wrap your arms around his middle, hugging him tightly, "thank you Jungkookie, you're the bestest most bravest boyfriend ever." He chuckles and kisses the top of your head as a mischievous bunny smile spreads on his face, "well, at least you were able to pee in the toilet and not your pants before you saw the spider, right?" You pull back and smack him then walk out to the living room. He laughs at you as you mutter, "never mind, I hate you."

"No you don't, you love me."

Well....whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n 2.0: oh GADS! I forgot to put an end note ahaha, sorry. I cracked myself up so bad writing this lmao, I hope you guys liked it! Thank you for reading <3

Ava & Grace

Ava: Hey Grace: 👋 Ava: How'd it go with gym boy? Grace: 🤞 he's got the hint 👻 Ava: That good, huh Ava: how about the rest, you know, not boys? Grace: we so aren't here to talk about me Ava: Come on Ava: Give me some normal conversation right now Grace: !!!!!!!!! Grace: 100% not gonna be that bitch, talk to ME about what's going on in your oh so dramatic life! Grace: are you okay? Ava: Okay, okay Ava: I'll just come out with it Ava: no sugarcoating Grace: Duh 🚫🍫🍬🍭 Grace: it's not a cheat day Ava: 🤫🤫🤫 Ava: You wanna hear this hot, hot tea or nah Grace: obvs Ava: You'll be the least surprised so there's that Grace: 🚫😱😱😱 Ava: You know when you came here and then married guy couldn't come and then everything fizzled out? Ava: well, it actually did, for nearly a month Ava: but then he came back Grace: OMG Grace: it's literally the MOST 💖📽🎞 like FORGET before Ava: It really was Ava: remember when I got hit by that cyclist? Grace: that was so wild! OH was he the 🚴??? Ava: 😂 Ava: Imagine Grace: your otp Ava: But no, my parents were out of town Ava: and he came to the hospital, to make sure I was okay Ava: and he took me home and looked after me Grace: I'm like about to cry???!!! that's so Grace: 😍😍 Ava: Me too Ava: and of course, I had to go on Holiday like immediately after so that was shit but since then we've been talking and Ava: he's divorcing his wife Grace: I TOLD YOU HE WAS PURE Ava: I know Ava: and I'm sorry I had to kinda lie to you Ava: but I accidentally let slip I had talked to you and he freaked and that's why he first left so Grace: Oh please, if I filmed a storytime about this ALL the comments would be calling me out as #fake Grace: I get it Ava: It does sound pretty unbelievable Ava: even more so if I actually tell you who he is Grace: are you GOING TO???!! 😱😱😱 Ava: May as well, I've had to tell Nancy Ava: Parents and Buster to go Grace: Ugh! so sorry babes Ava: I couldn't tell you before 'cos they kinda know him Ava: knew him Ava: he was one of Buster's friends from School Ava: and his crazy wife is the main girl who bullied Nancy so Ava: that was fun Grace: Really?! wtf Grace: Chelsea is like Grace: so weirdly small Ava: That's why we call 'em villages, even though you're in a big city, the actual communities are ridiculously close-knit, for better and worse Ava: oh and Ava: make it weirder still Ava: you remember that boy from my party, Teddy? Grace: UM obvs I never forget a 💋 Ava: Well, that's his brother Grace: !!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace: do they look alike cos 🧸 is 😍😍 like 🙏🙏 Ava: Kinda Ava: [sends a cute photo he would've been able to send to the fake profile] Grace: oh Grace: my Grace: god Ava: I know Ava: 😩😍 Grace: did he edit his 👀??! I'm so shook 💙 Ava: No, I've seen them up close Ava: they're actually that unreal Grace: I can't even Ava: Guess what Grace: ?? Ava: He said he loves me Grace: NO WAY Grace: 😭😭😭😭 Ava: I know, I know Ava: I can't even Grace: so are you like a thing™ now? Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I'm telling everyone Grace: Your parents are gonna be so Ava: Ugh Ava: it's going to be a whole thing Ava: with all of them Grace: mhhmmm Grace: like I feel like I know the answer but how did Nancy take it?? Ava: She just Ava: does my head in at the best of times and this was no exception, sadly Grace: at least Buster can't be telling ANYONE how to live their lives Grace: especially 😍💖 Ava: Watch him try though Ava: I'm expecting it though, they'll have to get over it on their own time Grace: 🙄 Grace: I feel that, Ri always thinks she can tell me something Ava: It's so Grace: IKR Grace: full offense babes I'm gonna listen to Janis before you & like no Ava: It's gonna be hellish but they can't do anything about it Grace: 🙏💜🤞 Ava: unless they do in which case bye and feel free to go through my wardrobe 🤷 Grace: duh Grace: but watch me also take your man Ava: 😏 cheek Grace: my crazy would look 😇 next to his ex's Grace: love that for me Ava: 'Til I haunt you crazier Grace: so scared obvs Ava: 😒 Ava: I only just got him, you can't be stealing him Grace: so sorry but like gotta get the full set on that fam now Ava: You better 🙏 my parents take it that personal Grace: 😇🙏💜 Grace: Jesus is totally my bae so Ava: and God's favourite son Ava: leave mine alone 😉 Grace: 😂😂 Ava: So you're not mad at me now, yeah? Grace: lowkey 💔 but not mad Ava: awh please Grace: ILY bitch you know it Ava: ily too 💙 Grace: & now I don't have to 👻💔 his brother so Grace: no way he'll be hitting me up after this Ava: Oh yeah, you're welcome for doing your dirtywork Grace: 💜😂💜 Ava: Has he hit you up then? 👀 Grace: 🤐🤐🤐 Ava: After I just poured my heart out? Ava: Rudeness Grace: you're in a 📽🎞💖 I'm in a 📽🎞😱 starring my crazy Ava: Girl, please Grace: I'm so serious Grace: & so over it Ava: You're not crazy Grace: I'm not not Grace: ask gym boy, but like don't Ava: I'm not gonna sleuth on you, don't worry Grace: if you had you'd see 🧸 on my pics hitting the 💜 Ava: Cute Ava: he must like you or he'd air you Ava: it's not unheard of Grace: like I said, thanks for putting that work in for me babes Ava: 😒 why not talk to him Ava: you don't have to see him 24/7 Grace: well duh I'm not about to move in with you Grace: but that's not why I can't Ava: ? Grace: he's like Grace: & I'm like Grace: It's not gonna be a thing Ava: You can't be friends? Grace: 😂😂 no Grace: that's as terrifying OMG Ava: 🙄 he is NOT scary Ava: though he is gonna hate me now probably so loyalties Grace: UM yeah he is Grace: he's nice & so I'm scared of him Grace: @ gym boy too Ava: 🤔 Grace: ugh whatever Ava: You're a nice person, you should hang with other nice people Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I've got friends he doesn't need to be one Ava: Okay Ava: not my otp, not gonna push that hard Grace: or ours its fine Grace: he won't be 😭😭😭 Ava: 'Course Ava: gonna have bigger problems to deal with, lbr Ava: 😬 Grace: yeah exactly Grace: maybe we can bond when the wife murders you but like Grace: black isn't my fave tbh can't 🤞 I'll serve my best look Ava: Funny 😏 Ava: she's actually 'out of the country' rn so you should probably watch your back 🔪🔪 Grace: you're so not gonna come visit me now you're 😍😍😍 are you? Grace: are you even doing holiday 2? Ava: time is getting away from us Ava: summer holiday standard Ava: it lowkey has not been organized so god knows now, I wouldn't be mad if it didn't but I wouldn't not go, I guess Grace: depends how they take your homewrecker status Ava: Yep, cheers 👍 Grace: people are shady Ava: Sure Ava: but my actual friend friends will know what's up Ava: everyone else chats about us anyway Grace: true Grace: shoutout to the fam for that one Ava: at least this one is something I actually did so Ava: oh well Grace: anyone who has a clue about his ex will know it's not even you Grace: like sorry hun you killed that 💍 yourself Ava: I'm not too fussed, it's my last year 💁 Grace: #priorities Ava: Exactly Grace: still so triggered by the idea of going back though thanks Grace: school is the WORST Ava: tell me about it Ava: won't miss that place Ava: Chelsea in general moreso but it isn't like I'll be a million miles away Grace: unlike me always a ✈ away Ava: Do you reckon you'll stay in Dublin? Grace: I guess Grace: where else would I go? Ava: You aren't going to make like Billie and Nancy and bounce then? Grace: being a or sleeping with models isn't very likely for me, babes Ava: Models are usually weird looking anyways Ava: oops accidental shade at your sister 🙊 Ava: don't tell Grace: thanks? I think Grace: shade her all you want, I'm about it Ava: How many times have you seen her kid? Grace: Like none Grace: we might get christmas but Ava: this family is messy Ava: watch me get lectured like it ain't Grace: preach Grace: maybe I shouldn't stay here Ava: you could stay or go wherever Ava: everywhere needs beauticians Grace: not Chelsea though, I'd run into your boyfriend's wife Grace: obvs can't escape anyone there Ava: 😂 truly Ava: I don't wanna be far away from the fam Ava: cracked as they are Ava: but that's just me Ava: I guess it isn't automatically selfish to move yourself halfway 'cross the globe hmm Grace: same though, I even miss Junie & like ?? why Grace: never saw him when we lived in the same house Ava: yeah Ava: that whole situation still fucks me off I Ava: idk Ava: I know it's not the kid's fault but I can barely even look at pictures of her Grace: Ri never should've done it Grace: like he didn't need a kid that bad Grace: obvs he didn't actually need one at all but nobody NEEDS one Ava: If they'd been together any amount of time Ava: Junior wasn't 20 fucking years old Ava: it was really stupid Ava: Buster said but oh well Grace: Demi is so Grace: I can't Ava: This family can't seem to help but add more fucked up people into its sphere Ava: like Ro hadn't just brought Drew back, AGAIN Grace: Getting pregnant by accident is one thing, like it's stupid but okay Grace: they planned that Ava: This family has way too many baby hangups dating back to nan Ava: can't blame her for all of this but break the cycle, someone, damn Grace: literally had my contraception on 🔒 since I was 13 thank you Ava: 'Accident' is some bullshit 9/10 times tbh Ava: you knew it was a matter of time, even if you don't know you knew it Grace: @ my mum & dad so hard Ava: and mine, they say the twins were an accident but they probably would've broke up if they hadn't have had them at that time so Grace: mhmmm Ava: ugh Ava: I'm just heated knowing how hard I'm gonna have to defend this Ava: like I've got myself pregnant Grace: don't even joke, she trapped that poor boy so hard like Ava: seriously, he probably never wants kids again Ava: not that I've asked because it's been like a month or so and I'm not psychotic, thanks Grace: do you? not now obvs Ava: I don't know Ava: like, don't tell my mother but I don't actually meticulously plan every aspect of my life Ava: if I ended up at a place and time in my life where it felt right, I could see it Ava: but if I ended up living a different life where they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't and I wouldn't be 💔 about that Grace: 😂🤐 Ava: Do you? Grace: girl, I'm too freaked out to let a boy date me, I don't think it's gonna happen Ava: you won't be 16 forever Ava: and if Ro can manage it Ava: your mum and Drew are probably the only people to see her vaguely undressed in her life Grace: idk sometimes it's all I want & sometimes it's the WORST thing I could think of Ava: I get that Ava: I don't think its a thing you can overthink, 'cos it's not usually right or wrong Ava: so people just do it and have to deal, better or worse Grace: Yeah Grace: maybe I'll get like that with dating Grace: or you know, get so lonely that I won't care that people always leave Ava: 😔 Ava: You'll get there, whether there is living your best life with or without Ava: I'm defs getting left after this fiasco so I'll come 😭 to you in a few no doubt Ava: we're walking Frank rn, so gonna enjoy this whilst it lasts 👌🥰 Grace: UM no! He LOVES you remember, you'll come at me with your 😍 more like Ava: 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏💜

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he's just full on sat next to her for food or whatever after also sitting next to her on the coach/minibus etc] Jimmy: let's not stop meeting like this Janis: Hope you don't think this harrassment is going to fly Janis: not a Catholic school Jimmy: You'd have to speak up, reckon that's about as likely as Jesus weighing in on the issue Jimmy: but alright I owe you a vape pen, glue stick or whatever else the paddy youth classes as a fun time Janis: Wouldn't wanna inflate your ego more than everyone else has Janis: or talk to you, obvs Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: congrats on your immunity Jimmy: 🏅🏆 Janis: To what? Janis: the clap or your lack of charm Jimmy: both Jimmy: you're a real winner, girl Janis: aw thanks Janis: if you want tossing off under the table though, you've got plenty other options Jimmy: a real heart breaker, you Jimmy: gives me a better idea Jimmy: tah Janis: that's me Janis: brains and beauty Janis: ? Jimmy: don't forget modesty and humility Jimmy: use your 💔 talents to publicly me and I can spend the rest of this trip in exile Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: i'd rather, tah Janis: you want that rep? Janis: guess a pussy is pretty undesirable Jimmy: more than the one they're trying to give me, yeah Jimmy: not the only 🧠 on board Janis: no jerking off, remember Janis: fine Janis: leave your vape pen at home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't touch me Jimmy: or my nonexistent vape pen Janis: not planning on it Janis: school trips are ample molestation time all 'round but me and Mr Lucas got other 🎯 Jimmy: what is the plan then? Jimmy: be 💔 to cockblock you and him and that's your thing more than mine Janis: you've come to me with no plan? Janis: 'course Janis: right, who's in your room? Jimmy: if you can't do it you ain't the girl for me Jimmy: and if you are, I ain't gonna tell you how to work Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: probably does vape Janis: yeah, dead considerate, I buy it Janis: not bad description though, if you're a police informant, you're giving the game away Janis: later, message me when he's got his mates in your room, yeah Janis: step 1 Jimmy: 👌 💰 Jimmy: I'm 45 and faking being a real boy, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when you 😏 irl] Janis: explains the whole look, really Jimmy: [likewise cos she's funny too] Jimmy: save it for the break up, sweetheart Janis: rest assured, just 'cos you're new doesn't mean I've not got enough insults for you to spare Jimmy: that'll be why I asked you Jimmy: all in for that 👅 baby, sharper the better Janis: obviously Janis: not like I'm the only bitch who wouldn't take this as a 💍 Jimmy: 🤞 Mr Lucas has picked one out for you Jimmy: 👰🎊💕 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: don't get my hopes up Jimmy: my bad, mate Jimmy: You want me to give him a nudge? Only take the one screenshot, I'm sure Janis: idk if he swings both ways Janis: or that a 🍆📸 is gonna help my case Janis: but cheers, mate Jimmy: give him a bit to get to know me Jimmy: and appreciate my many talents Jimmy: be alright Janis: defs what they had in mind for the group bonding sesh Jimmy: bit rude to skip it then, like Janis: who are you to deny the world of your 'talents' Janis: I feel a migraine coming on though Jimmy: with a head that big it's gonna be a killer Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll need all afternoon Jimmy: 🙏🏻 for you, my dear Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [a dramatic 😑 deadpan] Jimmy: [he's just like 😏 of course] Jimmy: the dickheads are about Janis: alright Janis: get ready to answer the door Janis: [idea is she shows up so whoever the f was in her room at the time knows she's gone somewhere (and they nosy af so they'll be ON IT) and then these lads will see them go off together and thus the rumour-mill can do it's thing without them having to do more than go and hide and smoke somewhere for a hot sec] Jimmy: if you're gonna be naked give me a heads up to be 😍 not 😑 Jimmy: whatever the rumour mill reckons I weren't on that teen soap Janis: alright, hollyoaks Janis: the accent and the IQ, not any of the emotional range Janis: subtly is your friend even if I ain't, nothing makes them lose their shit more Jimmy: maybe you do have something going on behind them 👀 Janis: save the 'compliments' for when you 'reckon they're just out of earshot, boy Jimmy: save the bossiness for when Mr Lucas wifes you Janis: you're the one that said you weren't gonna tell me how to work Janis: so fuck up if you want my face to be anything but not at your door Jimmy: you're working them not me Jimmy: so crack on Janis: pick up a hoodie or a jacket yeah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: what's your colour? Janis: right, so you aren't a total amateur Janis: ⬛️ works 😎 boy Jimmy: It's how we woo girls in the freezing cold north Janis: try not to freeze yourself 'cos naturally you can't have it back 'til this shitshow is over Jimmy: are you dyslexic? I just said 💪 Janis: believe that when I see it Janis: [shows up] Jimmy: [off you go 'sneakily' haha] Janis: [she's 100% in a shortie PJs moment for the added scandal of it all 'cos unlike the rest she hasn't bought all the LEWKS to this trip honey, hence the need for the hoodie] Jimmy: [don't check her out too much boy cos we know that's actually a look and you wanna] Janis: [avoid the teachers on the way out but get caught on the way in, 'cos no one ever gets in proper trouble on school trips 'cos they cba but again, gets people shooketh] Jimmy: [such a mood, unrelated but I once mooned on a school trip] Janis: [just walking in casual silence right now] Jimmy: [literally not gonna say a word this whole time lbr] Janis: [suits both of you, just be somewhere they can't be peeping] Jimmy: [you know he's 🚬 because always, casually retrieved from behind his ear because #mood] Janis: [just stealing it 'cos what else are you gonna do frankly] Jimmy: [giving her a look like oi and stealing it back cos likewise] Janis: [when you're just snatching lmao, 'YOU owe ME, dickhead, so consider your debt repaid' 😏] Jimmy: [lights a new one for her and gives her it like aim higher because shady bitch and also that's a habit from day 1] Janis: [raises it like cheers] Jimmy: [tips a hat he doesn't have on] Janis: [the 🙄 but we know you sneaky amused] Jimmy: [gotta give them back because its what they always do] Janis: [gestures like gimme your phone] Jimmy: [does without a second thought which makes me die] Janis: [lucky she's not being a dick with it, takes a cute/vaguely sexy pic in his hoodie and saves her number handing it back with a shrug like now you can brag as much as you do or don't wanna 'cos how boys do] Jimmy: [sends her a text which is literally just '😍' so she has his] Janis: [sends back a '🖕'] Jimmy: [sends back '💔'] Janis: ['😂'] Jimmy: [when you gesture at her to come here so you can take a pic together because she needs something in her phone too in case of nosy bitches] Janis: [does, obvs, start as you mean to go on lads] Jimmy: [casual photo session] Janis: [you know grace is blowing her phone up like WHERE HAVE YOU GONE rn] Jimmy: [the truest thing, hold on honey, they're busy] Jimmy: [he'd give her a bemused look cos miss popular is not the mood he expected but like also he knows the plan is working so can't complain] Janis: [the face you'd make 'cos it looks like you're just bffs with her and not related like omg no] Jimmy: [it'd make him lol he wouldn't be able to help it] Janis: [just scowling in that last pic] Jimmy: [casually his fave out of all the pics] Janis: [the temptation to send one to her just to shut her up but that'd be too easy so you gotta make her work for it lol] Jimmy: [you'll have so much time to shut everyone up, hang in there kids] Janis: [for now enjoy the literal irl silence] Jimmy: [it would be so nice cos his roommate would be as annoying and loud] Janis: [I legit thought you were describing Ollie so #real when your fam is just too much] Jimmy: [#confirmed and whatever girlfriend he has currently should be on the trip too so it's even more annoying to share] Janis: [fun and games, defs kicking grace out so you can 'get it on' 'cos she'll be fuming, everyone coupled] Jimmy: [we simply must] Jimmy: [she'd have to throw herself at some random trip lad so as not to be entirely left out which is not a mood] Janis: [can only imagine the quality gurl no] Jimmy: [honestly, don't even bother but we know she will] Janis: [god bless, also you can probably start heading back lads] Jimmy: [take a second to imagine the kiss when he walks her back, like enjoy everyone but also you two shamelessly] Janis: could've warned me, prick Jimmy: so you're the amateur then? Jimmy: could've warned me of that Janis: fuck off Janis: was following the 'don't touch me' rule Jimmy: you never said I couldn't touch you Janis: 'cos it's a given Janis: whatever Janis: it worked Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you don't think? Jimmy: you that confident? Janis: i get it, lads ain't AS hysterical as girls are Janis: usually Janis: these headphones aren't as noise-canceling as they promised Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not for you, but as far as the plan Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: not for long Jimmy: exile, remember Janis: ain't got a spare room I can magic out my arse for you Jimmy: I get it, we ain't back at your mansion now Jimmy: it's alright, rich girl, no hard feelings Janis: 😢 some more, pussyole Janis: you wanna swap beds? Jimmy: you want that rep this soon? Jimmy: I've had a few less than 🥇 nights with northern lasses but nowt worth crying about Janis: you can spare me the details if you want an invite Janis: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: hope you don't think i'm doing this work for free Janis: they reckon we're having such a scintillating conversation rn, again, welcome Jimmy: what you don't love an emoji standoff? Janis: 😍 Janis: of course Jimmy: if you need me to make you 😳 that's one of my talents Janis: sure Janis: that shit don't work on me Jimmy: sure Jimmy: you're well special, you Jimmy: a proper ❄ Janis: if you like Janis: or you ain't as special as you've been led to believe but either or Jimmy: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot, in your own words Janis: if you think i'm the type to take the higher ground whilst you continue to be a dickhead, you got the wrong bitch Jimmy: If you think this is me being a dickhead, you've got the wrong northern new boy Janis: scary Janis: is this the part where i cream myself? Jimmy: You can't kiss and you scare too easily Jimmy: is there owt else I gotta be warned about? Janis: you couldn't make a 🐷😳 Jimmy: you've got body issues an' all ✔ Jimmy: what diet are you on, I'll try and look interested Janis: wrong sister Janis: pass on your deets Jimmy: Tah Janis: have fun Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [skip to after am activities which they slayed as a #team] Janis: tah for not dragging me down too much Jimmy: I were about to say the same thing to you, girl Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wow, so in-synch Janis: what am I thinking rn Jimmy: it'd make a 🐷😳 Janis: [when you barely hold back that lol] Janis: oh well Janis: 💕 whilst it lasted babe Jimmy: fuck it, I'm still pretty Jimmy: 🧠 off for a bit Janis: sound like a delusional single ma Janis: you'll bounce back, karen, you still got it Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: two kids and no man Janis: 💔 Janis: make the most of this you time Jimmy: on it Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🙌📣👏🏆 Jimmy: living laughing loving Jimmy: all in this one morning Janis: break out the pink gin and prosecco babes Jimmy: It's a #date Janis: the lack of booze on this trip is shocking Janis: someone's got to have something Jimmy: meant to be what you paddys are known for Jimmy: sort it out, the lot of yous Janis: if I find the goods, I won't share 💕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: I'll sneak off and find my own then Jimmy: gotta be a pub somewhere Janis: you reckon you're getting free Jimmy: why not? Janis: 😎 not ninja Jimmy: I'll send you a selfie once I've had a few Jimmy: proof'll be in the pint Janis: fuck off are you going without Jimmy: you reckon you're coming with? piss off Janis: i won't need to chat to you when we get there Janis: if Jimmy: you don't need to chat to me now but on you go Janis: this ain't talking Janis: and you can't stop me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you'll get over it Janis: dry your eyes Jimmy: You'll get over staying here Janis: fuck off, you don't even know where we are Jimmy: I've got a 📱 knobhead Jimmy: [waves it at her IRL] Janis: call a hotline to 😢🍆👌 it out Jimmy: phone a friend to take you to the pub Jimmy: I'll see you there Janis: I can go myself, dickwad Janis: 🤞 we don't pick the same one Jimmy: I'll avoid anywhere called the Blushing Pig Jimmy: know it's your local Janis: you'll wanna avoid anywhere too local with that accent Jimmy: I ain't scared, leave that to you, like Janis: piss off Jimmy: the plan's that, yeah Janis: okay, try this one, shut up Jimmy: this ain't talking Jimmy: what happened to that? Janis: i make the rules Janis: it's talking when i want you to not Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: laters then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: ✌ flip reverse that Jimmy: [nearly lols] Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: went from hot to cute well quick Janis: yeah, not the only one with talents Jimmy: I might believe you when I see any Janis: I were about to say the same thing to you, boy Jimmy: I got in there first, girl Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: fact remains, no blushes, just bullshit Janis: and to get to the pub? Janis: not helping you, amateur Jimmy: [sends her some real saucy shit use your imagination cos we know I don't have skills] Jimmy: To hide your blush or top that Janis: [when you have to make a face of disgust so it ain't straight up 😳] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [at least her going out for a run would not be weird if the teachers asked] Jimmy: [run baby run] Janis: [jump that fence, you're defs getting into trouble after the hols, starting the new term off well before finishing this one] Jimmy: [start as you mean to go on, everyone will be scandalised] Janis: [just ignoring each other lmao] Jimmy: [good luck with that] Janis: did you get lost Jimmy: did you pull a muscle? Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: no proof, just chat Janis: proof is how far behind you're lagging Jimmy: Piss off Janis: aw baby Jimmy: save your sweet talk, Judith Jimmy: you might need the practice but I don't need to hear it Janis: gotta concentrate on your 🗺 Janis: only so much 🧠 power a Northern boys got Jimmy: congrats on being a native, mate Janis: ain't that hard Janis: one main road Jimmy: I'll drop you in my old home town and you can let me know how well you crack on Janis: alright Janis: piss easy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: can't be much worse than here Jimmy: can be your own judge Janis: generous Jimmy: I ain't buying you a pint Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: I'll get someone of age to do that Janis: tah Jimmy: 🧠 and 🍀 Janis: just tits Janis: don't feel too bad Jimmy: I feel bad for you if you're banking on that Janis: 10 feminist points for you, pop up a status #ally Jimmy: I meant 'cause your sister's are better but alright Janis: didn't see her hauling her arse over no fence but alright Jimmy: nobody asked her, that'll be why Jimmy: must be politer than you an' all Janis: find your way back and shag her then, like Jimmy: If I fancied that I wouldn't be here Jimmy: but tah for giving us your blessing Janis: got more chance that than getting a drink Jimmy: take that 🍻 chance still Janis: tits aren't that good then Jimmy: To cancel out the lass attached she'd need them🥇 Jimmy: I'm new, but that don't mean I ain't got a single clue about nowt Janis: so made up you've seen a boob, mate Jimmy: me too, like Janis: 👌 Janis: [sends picture of drink like mission accomplished] Jimmy: 👏 Jimmy: you should post that somewhere you can actually brag Janis: tah for the suggestion Janis: wait 'til I'm finished Janis: Lucas don't need my location Jimmy: How else is he meant to propose? Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: you wanna 💔 him when I get caught cheating Jimmy: he's 💕 I'm just here to make you 😳 Janis: not talking about you, you ain't here Jimmy: not talking to me either, this don't count Janis: too right Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be thinking up #s for me if you've got the brain space Jimmy: How much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: get you a pint if you ever make it Jimmy: [struts in] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: [gets the lad to get 'em all a drink in, sure he is thrilled lmao] Jimmy: [#cockblocked] Janis: 👏 on not dying Jimmy: might do on the way back Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: wouldn't be a tragedy to miss more team building Janis: I don't wanna give you cpr Jimmy: don't bring it up then Jimmy: I never asked Janis: I don't care Janis: not catching a case 'cos you're suicidal Jimmy: I get it, you need the practice for that an' all Janis: I get it, you're a dick Jimmy: Is there owt you can do on the first try? Janis: none of your business Jimmy: no then Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't know me Janis: and you don't need to Jimmy: 👌❄ Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: sure Janis: so don't ask Jimmy: It weren't a real question, more of a dig Janis: like I said, I get it Janis: real edgy stuff Jimmy: whatever big head, you know things Jimmy: I got that myself ages ago Janis: yeah, you're dead convincing, hollyoaks Jimmy: I wouldn't bother auditioning if I were you Jimmy: they really care about tits Janis: you're fooled Janis: but thanks for the advice Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when your phone's going off 'cos only so long before they'd be obligated to call the police lol but they'd try to get contact first, massive 🙄] Janis: drink up, newbie Jimmy: no chance, I just got here Janis: you wanna be dragged out by a teacher Janis: that'll look well 😎 Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: [short lol like ha] Janis: alright then, enjoy Janis: [going out with the dude] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [after a period] Janis: I'll tell 'em where to find you then, shall I? Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: well it ain't gonna look very #goals but that's your choice Jimmy: Thought you were making the rules Janis: I ain't gonna drag you out, nice try perv Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: do whatever the fuck you are gonna do then, Jennifer Janis: 🙄 omg get out Janis: take the glass with you if you're aiming for impressive here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you trying to achieve Jimmy: We've done this bit, don't know each other, don't want to, ring any bells? Jimmy: and it should be obvious for a 🧠 like yours Janis: you want to get them to leave you alone, sure Janis: so you don't need to cause this scene Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Janis: I didn't come for no reason Janis: but I don't need the garda called on me Jimmy: I came here for my dad's bollocks reasons Jimmy: so maybe I do Janis: alright Janis: I'll say I ain't seen you then Janis: if that's what you want Jimmy: that won't look right Jimmy: we're meant to be love's young dream Janis: right Janis: so we've really gotta bonnie and clyde it? Jimmy: I'll find another way to fuck him over Jimmy: without dragging you down into it Janis: cheers Janis: consider it an IOU, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we should've taken more pictures Janis: I've text my sister, now they know we're not actually runaways/kidnapped/other, we can at least take our time before the bollocking Janis: get another drink if you want Jimmy: I don't have a 🔪 in my pocket everyone Jimmy: figure it out Janis: just pleased to see me, yeah Janis: good one Jimmy: 💀 pact's tomorrow Jimmy: and we're obviously using poison Janis: obviously, the ⛵ lake isn't deep enough to walk into the middle of Jimmy: and I don't have rocks in my pocket either Jimmy: they ain't that deep Janis: 💔💰 poor boy, right? Jimmy: Yep Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: gutting Janis: I'll bring the poison then Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: I'll bring the 🥧 for you to poison Janis: it's for credit, by the way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: somehow shitter than I imagined still Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: you got a 🚬? Jimmy: only thing actually in my pockets Janis: don't need an inventory can I have one Jimmy: If you come here Janis: so bloody awkward Jimmy: I don't get credit for exercising, mate Janis: 🙄 yeah cheers for the training Janis: [comes in though] Jimmy: [waves because cheeky little shit] Janis: [😑 just puts her hands out like tah] Jimmy: I said, come here Janis: [stomps closer like boy] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him because 1. that bitch and 2. selfie opportunities shouldn't be ignored 3. shameless] Janis: [when you go hard for the selfies but then you push him back like oi] Jimmy: [when you likewise go hard for the selfies but then shrug and walk out knowing she'll follow you for that 🚬] Janis: you're so stupid Jimmy: *northern Janis: if you wanna do your people like that Janis: I'm just talking 'bout you Jimmy: We all understand what come here means Jimmy: my stupid dog just about does an' all Janis: fuck off Jimmy: Do you want a 🚬 or not? Janis: I did, you heard me Jimmy: Come on then Janis: [comes out but starts walking gesturing like let's go] Jimmy: [lights one for her and holds it out cos always] Janis: [takes it in silence] Jimmy: [walking and 🚬 in silence as is their standard] Janis: they better go easy on you 'cos you're a new kid and by proxy, me Jimmy: I'll play the 🎻🎻s loud Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: long as my parents don't find out and try to fuck with my holiday, give a fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: like you wanna be grounded for 3 weeks Jimmy: like that'd be his choice of punishment Janis: lucky you Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: poor you Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [is just 😒 but when is that not his face tbh] Janis: [so not gonna notice really] Jimmy: [deafening silence is also not a clue] Janis: don't snitch on me and I won't snitch on you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: later then Janis: [bolts 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's taking his sweet time and we all know it] Janis: [the very next day, room cleaning duty 'cos you've been bad eggs] Jimmy: here's your chance to see if anyone has anything to drink Janis: true Janis: I'll do Dan and Jake's room then, that's where my money is Jimmy: 💕 and 🍀 girl Janis: godspeed Janis: 📸 anything good Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬s and 💸 Janis: they ain't the sharpest Janis: plus they're terrified we'll turn around and say they went full on abuse of power away from school property Jimmy: You should let me in your room Janis: I ain't got nothing to steal, have at my sister's shit Janis: but seriously, they realise they've left us alone rn, dopes Jimmy: Later, dickhead Jimmy: when your sister is about Janis: twincest ain't the one Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Jack would disagree, clearly Janis: [retro pornmag moment] Janis: guess he knew the signal would be shit, clever boy Jimmy: can't be that clever if he ain't getting any off the page Janis: neither are you, like Jimmy: You're rocking my world, baby Jimmy: don't insult yourself Janis: 😏 Janis: right Jimmy: [a picture of some prescription pills] Jimmy: want these? Janis: won't even take offense to that implication Janis: go on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You should come then Janis: later Jimmy: I don't wanna do drugs with you, Jodie Jimmy: it weren't the idea Janis: I get the idea, moron Janis: I'm saying yeah, probably should Jimmy: Alright Janis: these kids are idiots Janis: why have they bought half this shit Jimmy: not all of them, I just found your sister's friend's binge stash 🍫🍪🍬 Jimmy: won't be starving in a bit Janis: that's evil Janis: someone'll die if she don't get her cals Janis: 🤞 it's grace Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: come and get a 🍪 Janis: not your stupid dog Jimmy: she follows instructions 50% of the time Janis: 🖕 Janis: maybe if you were a better trainer Jimmy: more for me 💕 Janis: you enjoy, I'm busy Jimmy: I get it, it's decent porn Janis: that's it 🙄😂 Janis: but you've put me off now, twat Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 🍀 I'm coming over later then Janis: obviously Janis: how morally dubious is it to put Kieran's missus' bra in say Janis: Leon's bed Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: I'd reckon you were morally obligated Jimmy: answering for everyone Janis: 😇 me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Pouring water in Brian's bed is gonna be my good deed for the day Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: Could've got into Catholic school well easily, me Janis: missed a trick Janis: you'd have loved it 📏😩 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: that is a username and a half Jimmy: Wait til you have a scroll, mate Jimmy: you'll be 😍🤤 Janis: 🍀 I don't need the sugar Jimmy: he ain't got the 💰 to be that kinda daddy Jimmy: and you ain't got step mum in you Janis: fuck you Janis: just 'cos you don't want that for you Jimmy: 'Cause you just said you're 😇 Jimmy: gotta be evil, knobhead Janis: suspect Janis: why you being almost nice Janis: you wanna share the swag I found Jimmy: #duh Janis: depends Janis: you eat all the 🍪s Jimmy: I'm only one lad Jimmy: there's fucking 1000s Janis: part-timer Janis: yeti could do it in five minutes Jimmy: you're the 😳🐷 Jimmy: but challenge accepted Janis: why you trying to give me an eating disorder Janis: you've already tampered with one bitch's today, like Janis: is it your thing? Jimmy: Why ain't you already got one? Jimmy: looks like most of the lasses at school have Janis: No I don't Janis: I'm not an idiot Jimmy: Sounds like something a lass with an eating disorder would say but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 Jimmy: cover me Janis: sure Janis: diligent as Jimmy: or come with Jimmy: if you want Janis: depends Janis: you giving me a 🚬 to stay skinny Jimmy: No need Janis: make your mind up Jimmy: I've never said you're fat Janis: bullshit! 😂 Janis: at least try to keep up with what you're dishing out Jimmy: I can't keep up with what ain't there Janis: the pig emoji is straight-up still on my screen, boy Jimmy: 🧠 and 😳 Janis: 😏 sure Jimmy: don't come then, girl Janis: shut up Janis: I want one Jimmy: Who's the biggest dickhead? We'll go in their room for it Janis: 🤔 Janis: 11 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: race you Janis: big mistake Jimmy: [obviously beats her but only because he was halfway there when he said they should race #sneaky] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [just fuming 😒] Jimmy: [😏 shamelessly and lounging on the bed of whoever the hell's room this is] Janis: ['cheater' and sitting on the floor] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like oi even though he is but also so she can sit on it if she want #softboy] Janis: [just looking at him like I don't want a pillow] Jimmy: ['reckoned you might need one after being such a sore loser' shrugs and throws some 🍬s from the stash he's pocketed her way instead] Janis: ['don't get sore that easy, boy' popping one in her mouth and throwing whatever spoils she found into the middle] Jimmy: [lighting up x2 first for her and then him and then lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, bit rude that you haven't looked at what she brought boy] Janis: [takes it but is just ashing it on the floor] Jimmy: [blowing smoke rings at this random kid's ceiling casually] Janis: [just on your phone like] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are trying not to fall asleep because blatantly on his phone all night to Bobby 'cause he was left with Ian] Janis: [allowing it 'cos no need to be that much of a dick, like] Jimmy: [accidentally doing that OTT dramatic jerking yourself awake thing after a bit, which there's no styling out] Janis: [lil 😏 'don't set the gaff alight, too far'] Jimmy: ['if that's where you draw the line, babe'] Janis: ['save the big stuff for the death pact end times'] Jimmy: [does a IRL 👍] Janis: ['he keep you up?'] Jimmy: [when you nod automatically but obviously who you mean isn't who she means but you can't then be like actually no] Janis: [shakes her head like dickhead but kinda fondly 'cos doesn't hate Ollie] Jimmy: [when he doesn't know they are related still so amused] Janis: [just looking like you have a crush lmao] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 you don't need immediately after you've put the 1st one out in this room cos you don't wanna leave] Janis: [hopping up onto the bed to look through the shit he found 'cos no rush to go back to cleaning or being with the rest either] Jimmy: [sneaky looking at her while she's looking at the things] Janis: [oh duh, she should have the holy grail in a backpack 'cos someone had to have some booze even if it's just cans or shitty alcohpops, get that out like now it's a #haul] Jimmy: [yasss get #day drunk kids, well not really because there wouldn't be enough but still, have at it] Janis: [just putting one on his chest like a bottle for a baby lmao] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: 💕🍺 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: ['Slainte'] Jimmy: [downs the drink cos the only thing to do when its shit] Janis: [the same] Jimmy: [eating all those sweet treats and necking all that booze having a lovely time] Janis: [get some energy boo] Jimmy: [being #goals together on the low] Janis: [selfie moment] Jimmy: [as always going harder than you need to] Janis: [gotta make people think you used your time wisely] Jimmy: [voting for the first ever love bite to happen rn] Janis: fuckin' vampire Jimmy: subtlety ain't always the way to get top marks Janis: alright 🤓 Janis: but if I die in a freak hickey accident, like they write about to scare bitches, you have to pretend to be devastated at my funeral Jimmy: you'll live, dry your eyes and wipe your mouth, like Janis: you with the blood, dickwad Jimmy: you with the 🍫, baby Janis: 😑 Janis: [but has to check] Jimmy: told you Jimmy: it weren't a pisstake Janis: you are Jimmy: 💔 Janis: could've at least wiped it off for me Janis: make it work Jimmy: I know how much you ain't about being touched Jimmy: I am making it work Janis: don't be a pussy Janis: [points at the love bite like duh] Jimmy: [shamelessly touches it while giving her a look] Janis: [when you just have to be like not phased face 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [when you have to do another even better one as a result cos #same] Janis: [giving him an ear one 'cos gotta one up the situ otherwise why are you doing this boys, we know why] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you have to be like ow to hide how into it you are] Janis: [🙄 but checks it sneaky like] Jimmy: [🙄 back cos what else can he do] Janis: you'll live Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you said it first Jimmy: you were 😢 first Janis: you're louder Janis: how much more trouble are you gonna get me in? Jimmy: how much more trouble do you wanna be in? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gotta return it of course] Janis: [need to hear people coming for the cockblock] Jimmy: [I was just about to say that] Janis: [better get outta this randos room sharpish] Jimmy: [when you can take her hand to run off cos you can play it off like in case someone sees us if she was like excuse you] Janis: [not gonna fight it though 'cos you can just say you were on the level] Jimmy: [we all know what's up] Janis: [are they going to her room or separate?] Jimmy: [good question, do you wanna do any afternoon awkwardness before that?] Janis: [we could do another lunch moment and see if we have any ideas] Jimmy: [I'm down to give them a fake coupley af lunch] Janis: [go cause a commotion honeys] Jimmy: [everyone would be so extra about their everything, I can't] Janis: [it'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [be a cliche and carry her food for her for a start boy] Janis: [sit at a table with like some people but only have eyes for each other, duh] Jimmy: [and they should whisper a lot cos it looks saucy but really they could be saying anything and are probably shading y'all] Janis: [deffo, as well as sharing food like you probably have the same shit on your plates there's 0 need] Jimmy: [#thosecouples at least they are being OTT on purpose like] Janis: [exactly, also everyone has peeped those love bites 'cos they were such a big deal when school like people would be wearing scarves like oh no don't look aha] Jimmy: [Grace about to stab herself with a fork, oh honey just wait til you get kicked out of your room later] Janis: [you gonna be heated and your friends are just gonna be at the door like 👂] Jimmy: [literally she is gonna angry cry and we all know it bitch] Janis: [you know there would've been convos this whole time, we should probably do that] Jimmy: [we totally can] Jimmy: [also he's totally slipping in some actual flirtiness with the whispers and we know it's not just to make her 😳 bye] Janis: [just angrily whispering back like imma fuck you up boy] Jimmy: [like she's not a white ginger where its gonna be that obvious nobody's checking you can calm down Jimothy, you're already also touching her way more than you need to for your own benefit] Janis: [gotta hit him with a footsie moment 'cos there's still nothing more obvious than when you're being faux subtle] Jimmy: [love that for them] Janis: [like you can't be too cray there are teachers in here lmao] Jimmy: [thank god, any actual PDA and Grace would die] Janis: [can have a moment on the way out to your activity try and stop 'em] Jimmy: [they want it as much as their audience does so sorry Mr Lucas you're outvoted, like] Janis: [when i went to camp mary and her mans were so extra at the end they got awarded camp's romeo and juliet so like as long as it keep pg 13 you're alright tbh and he loves it] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [okay trust falls and blindfold assault course moment for the afternoon] Jimmy: [lowkey having fun even though you're meant to be hating it] Janis: [when she'd be freaking out to him on the low like don't fucking drop me bitch 'cos trust issues but you gotta be #goals so he won't] Jimmy: [we know he'd piss about but it's actually fine, he can and will piggyback you in the future babe, he's got this] Jimmy: [#trustissuessquad because likewise would not enjoy that bit] Janis: [poor grace bouta die on the other hand, like courteney let ellie drop and she still doesn't trust her lmao] Janis: [good for tryna get attention like friends help me i'm hurt] Jimmy: [Grace would be living for that drama and also she gonna fuck that boy later so payback for you boy getting put in some vulnerable positions lol] ] Jimmy: [also she can cry off like oh I'm so injured so she don't have to watch the JJ show for a bit] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: sure there's a defrosting pack of peas going if you want the job Janis: not as popular as she'd like to believe Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: and so's she Janis: never how I'd put it, but no shit on that point regardless Jimmy: hang on, just gonna @ my dad to prove that my little brother ain't the biggest cry baby going Jimmy: She's 🥇 and you're 🥈 Janis: funny Janis: when I have him over for dinner he can see for himself Jimmy: Funnier Janis: i know Janis: not your fault you're 🥉 Jimmy: Reckons the lass who can't do owt first go Janis: the boy who still reckons he knows anything about me when we've been over this Jimmy: You nearly took my 👂 off earlier but I've still got both 👀 mate Janis: if i knew we were aiming to maim, you wouldn't have Janis: still got a 👄 you chat 💩 out of too, unfortunately Jimmy: [when you're trying not to lol] Jimmy: lovely you Janis: [😏] Janis: it's been said Jimmy: I get it, you've got form with the maiming, loads of blind and deaf lads about now Jimmy: Tah for letting me off so light 💕 Janis: well it ain't real, so only fair Jimmy: now I know you're a lass who plays fair Janis: you'd have different bruises to prove otherwise Janis: join her on sick bay 🤕🥴 Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Jimmy: You've gotta stop flirting with me, girl Janis: you'd know that too Janis: if I were Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [throws a 🍬 at her in full view of the bitch he stole them off] Janis: [good thing you ain't concerned about making friends/can catch, just smiling at her like cheers babe] Janis: you feeling left out? Janis: you gotta make a girl 😢 now, yeah Jimmy: Gotta give myself a break from that 👄 of yours Janis: shh Janis: don't say that out loud Jimmy: don't screenshot me and the secret's safe Jimmy: or wait until I say something about exercising your jaw for later and then hit post Janis: 😂 Janis: grim Janis: and unlikely humblebrag Jimmy: There, made a lass cry laugh, that'll do Janis: Soph can consider herself safe Janis: and welcome I took the hit Jimmy: 😇 you Jimmy: I remember Janis: someone's gotta Janis: so unappreciated Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Gimme a sec to find signal enough to tweet it Janis: gotta clue in all your fans that couldn't be here Jimmy: [does do some suitably cringey tweet of course] Janis: 😏 how you still expect to get laid after this holy show is beyond me Jimmy: I don't #duh Jimmy: transferring to that Catholic school as soon as, obviously Janis: they're the worst for it Janis: just say sorry afterward Jimmy: Everyone knows anal don't count, Judith Jimmy: do it for Jesus Janis: 'less it's with another lad, sodomite Jimmy: That'll be why Mr Lucas is my plan B Janis: yeah well, fight yer for him Jimmy: 💪🏆 Go on Janis: [just looking at him like really tho] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [play fight moment] Jimmy: [so flirty, get a room you two, she should win though obvs because he cheated on that race earlier] Janis: time to get some 📿 Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: You ain't getting shot of me that easy, babe Jimmy: Letting you win 'cause of how unappreciated you feel counts about as much as this counts as talking, like Janis: yeah right, whatever makes you feel better, loser Jimmy: Take your hollow victory 😘 Janis: I can beat you at anything Janis: any time, anywhere Jimmy: when it's #fakeforfake Janis: convenient for you, that Jimmy: nowt about this is Janis: 🎻 Janis: take your 👑 crybaby Jimmy: No tah, I'd have to touch your sister to get it Janis: she is a lot like that dragon in shrek Janis: fair Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she'll find the right donkey one day, I'm sure 💕 Jimmy: could save me a bit in 🚬 if she were blowing smoke about Janis: there's one pro Janis: you never talk so she could blather on as much as she likes Jimmy: I talk, just not to you Janis: and no one else here Janis: least of all her, so still counts, don't fight it Jimmy: I'd have to save all my strength to keep her off me Janis: you really saving yourself for marriage, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's a con, damn Janis: really thought I could get rid of her once and for all Jimmy: don't pretend she ain't the 👰💍 type Janis: obvs, but a massive slag, no child of the lord there Janis: allegedly my fathers Jimmy: My ex was a massive slag an' all Jimmy: I'll make it work Janis: great Janis: get on it then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if you could move again and take her with, that'd be perfect Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: No need to wait that long for your real happy ending then Jimmy: were a bit rude how you've been such a tease about the 💀💀 pact but alright Janis: you'll do yourself in after a few months, max Janis: hmu then Jimmy: as a 👻 Jimmy: least I won't have to touch you and you can't me Janis: weren't planning on it wanker but exactly Janis: everyone gets to win Janis: she's the 🕷⚰ type Janis: love an excuse to cry forever Jimmy: might get her with my dad instead Jimmy: move over mate Janis: and I'm the one who can't follow instructions? 😑 Janis: stick to the plan Jimmy: plans change Jimmy: leave the crying to her Janis: just don't understand why you won't die for me tbh Jimmy: Not as 🧠 as you made out, eh Juliet? 💔 proper tragedy that Janis: it's your fault, you don't stick to your word ever Janis: nothing to do with me Jimmy: Nowt to do with you is right Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: How long is this bollocks gonna go on? I don't need to know how to build a raft Jimmy: or give a fuck if the 🦊 has 🐔 for his tea Janis: how you planning to navigate that sea of 😭 then? Janis: more practical than a maths lesson at any rate Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you're uninvited for a 🚬 Janis: fine, drama queen Jimmy: in a bit 🤓 Janis: just 'cos you can't keep up Jimmy: just 'cause you're working on commission Jimmy: hmu when you need art for your 'more practical than a maths lesson' poster Janis: that's your thing then Janis: makes sense Janis: had to be one of the two Jimmy: 👍 Janis: at least you won't be bringing out the acoustic around the firepit tonight Janis: small blessings Jimmy: only bring the 🎻🎻 me Janis: ha Janis: cute Jimmy: tweet it if you mean it, girl 💕 Janis: k, if you like Jimmy: I'll give it a like, yeah Janis: not even a retweet, cold Janis: do you want them to buy this or nah Jimmy: can't retweet my own praises Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: oh right, we're ignoring your giant head Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: Nobody likes a bighead, you should know, mate Janis: dunno what you mean Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you ain't being on my raft team, FYI Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: drown on your own time, I gotta win Jimmy: I'll already be in sick bay after how #savage that jab was Janis: almost as bad at faking it as her Jimmy: you being the only one that reckons so isn't gonna make me 😭 Janis: awh, but everything else does Jimmy: #whensheknowsyouproperwell 💕 Janis: it's true love 💕 Janis: as far as any of these idiots are aware Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤞😍😍 Janis: alright, this is boring now Janis: no one needs this health and safety bullshit Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: wouldn't have 💀💀💀d you to nod when I first said it Jimmy: 'Cause yeah, that'll be why I'm staying here 🚬 tah Janis: you wanna start agreeing on everything now Janis: not pretending we're married Jimmy: Tah again, this time for admitting I'm right about everything Jimmy: I was just talking about the once but alright Janis: you never said it was boring, technically Janis: and I never said that, get lost Jimmy: I might be lost 🤞 Janis: deep Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: geographically, dickhead Janis: how 😂 Jimmy: can't be lost if I know Janis: I mean, this place is not that big Janis: and signposted to fuck, where've you even gone, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: v helpful my dear Janis: soz I didn't put a chip in your neck whilst you were gnawing on mine Jimmy: It's alright, I know you can't do owt right, forget two things at once Janis: fuck off Janis: stay lost Jimmy: have done and will do Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haunt you later then Janis: not that long since lunch Janis: you'll survive until one of the teachers finds you Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll pray for Mr Lucas obvs Jimmy: probably get Ms O'Brien Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: you know he's already in the water Janis: if he could get away with speedos, he would, whereas her turtleneck could not be higher Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 👙 on him and 🥔 sack on her Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: be why you ain't coming to my rescue Janis: 😏 Janis: obviously Janis: fine, hang on Jimmy: it ain't actually in the contract Jimmy: don't bother about me Janis: whatever, won't be hard Janis: then I'll just go back to my room after, peace and quiet Janis: anyway, her still in the sick bay gives me a valid excuse, concerned sister I am Jimmy: text me when you want me to show up Janis: ha, alright Jimmy: least if she's concussed we won't have to put on as convincing a show Janis: one can hope 🤞 Janis: sadly there's fuck all to damage in her head so Jimmy: Sounding like she will be my dad's perfect match 💘 Janis: does that mean you'll start showing up for dinner and xmas Janis: not part of the deal Jimmy: 🙏 they'll rent a cottage together and leave me the fuck out of it Janis: can get behind that Jimmy: #forlifenotjustforchristmas Janis: make it happen @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 'cause that's such a dream come true, I'm going to sleep Jimmy: don't miss me too much Janis: ..outside? Jimmy: If I get eaten by some animal or owt you can have my 🚬s Janis: 💘 Janis: romance aside, at least you'll be easy to find if you're 😴 Jimmy: Keep my snoring off the socials tah Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: but you look so cute baby Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: look cute all the time Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: goodnight, Jenna Jimmy: 😘 Janis: sweet dreams, dickhead Jimmy: just said they were guaranteed Jimmy: can't stop being a 😇 you Janis: not yet 😈 Jimmy: @ everyone who missed my earlier tweet Janis: yeah don't make me sound boring Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: can agree on that Jimmy: if I wanted boring I'd have asked Ms O'Brien to fake date me Janis: 😏 Janis: she could be a secret freak Jimmy: doubt she's bitten any ears off though Janis: missing out? Jimmy: the benchmark has been set Janis: oh please Janis: you loved it Janis: got the job done, didn't it Jimmy: tonight will Janis: yeah Jimmy: Owt off limits? Janis: you love 🍑 stuff, I get it Janis: but nah, I don't care Jimmy: 👴 love me Jimmy: #soznotsoz Janis: if I pretend to be Mr Lucas, it kinda defeats what we're doing here Janis: soz Jimmy: It's alright, I'm more 👵💕 live out your what would Ms O'Brien do fantasies Jimmy: you started strong, like Janis: admitting I do know what I'm doing? Janis: about time Jimmy: Baby please Jimmy: you wish I would Janis: you wish I'd do the other side 👂 Jimmy: Yeah well fed up of this earring #newschoolnewme Janis: 😂 Janis: bye 😎 boy bye Jimmy: Tah for not having braces, you'd be dangerous Janis: if that's your thing you should deffo go catholic and start your religious training asap Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: and your thing is what, going from 🐷 to 🦈 after a few drinks? Janis: pigs have eaten far more humans than sharks ever have, for one, idiot Janis: and two, you only need to fake like you know exactly what I need Jimmy: sounds like fake news that Janis: your favourite word, that Jimmy: you don't need to know my fave word Jimmy: won't be on the test Janis: just the safe word, sure Jimmy: What's it gonna be? Trust fund's two Jimmy: Pony'll work Janis: great, you're a furry Janis: give me strength Jimmy: You don't need to know my kinks either Janis: stop being so obvious then Jimmy: It's obvious you're turned on by 💰 only trying to be accommodating until you secure Mr Lucas' teacher salary 💍💕 Janis: Obviously Janis: hit up some overworked and underpaid nurses whilst I'm at it Jimmy: Get that blood, vampire girl Janis: more fun making you bleed Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for the #fans that want it Jimmy: I know how much fun I am Janis: I tweeted about you last Janis: it's your turn to tweet about me Janis: if you can pry your hand off your dick for one sec Jimmy: you were last 'cause I always go first Jimmy: pull your weight Janis: not my fault you're premature Janis: well, obvs is but you know Jimmy: If that's the rep you want, Joanne Jimmy: [posts something extra about missing her that's like really hot and a mood] Janis: you care about my rep as much as I do Janis: though that post didn't entirely suck Jimmy: careful, that almost sounded like a real compliment Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend would you be Janis: never Janis: [can find him 'cos you know, has to at some point] Jimmy: I get it, you need the IRL inspo of seeing me now it's your turn again Janis: [😑 but sits down with and has to get close to match the mood of his post to take a #reunited pic] Janis: needs must Jimmy: Fake like you know what come here means and do it properly Jimmy: [When you shamelessly just wanna be more extra] Janis: [defs first lap sitting moment needed like don't test me boy] Janis: there Jimmy: [yassss having such a moment bye] Jimmy: and you reckon I need to be a better trainer Janis: stop comparing me to fucking farmyard animals and dogs Janis: [angry face right in his 'cos you ain't moved] Jimmy: Alright, Juliet next post I'll compare you to a summer's day Janis: hilarious Jimmy: necessary if you're gonna keep making that face Jimmy: can't have it sticking Janis: [makes a face like give a fuck] Jimmy: [😏 because she obvs does or why are they doing this ha] Janis: you're so smug Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: unduly Jimmy: How would you know? Janis: [gestures at him like it's obvious] Jimmy: [shrugs because again being a smug dickhead like you don't know me bye] Janis: [pushes on his chest to get up off him] Jimmy: [offers her a 🚬] Janis: [takes it and starts walking but looks back like] Janis: follow me to civilization Jimmy: Why? Janis: because you're lost Janis: and you could be inside right now, undisturbed, for at least another 45 minutes yet Jimmy: Do the maths on that, did you? Jimmy: not sure if I can trust a #hater Janis: oh my god Jimmy: What? Janis: would it 💀💀💀 you to just come Jimmy: Are you trying to? Janis: what are you talking about now Jimmy: Gonna lure me to my death or not? Janis: tempting as you make it Janis: we have 2 of those shit drinks left Janis: unless there's something better we can do out here Jimmy: Help me up then Janis: 👴 Janis: [but does] Jimmy: Oi, you were sitting on me so long I've got a 💀 leg Janis: if that's how shit your stamina is how we gonna fake fuck convincingly Janis: sort it out Jimmy: you ate half my lunch, sort that out Janis: you didn't need it, skiver Janis: only using your voice, I had to actually do the course Jimmy: I had to keep you alive Jimmy: not as hard as your sister makes it look but still a challenge when you Janis: piss off Janis: I could've done that shit alone Jimmy: bollocks Janis: so could Jimmy: go on then, we'll recreate it Janis: [closes her eyes and struts for a bit like see] Jimmy: fuck that we're going to the course Janis: alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we know the drill, when you're being slow af so he's like do it properly and then you go faster and fall, not actually doing any damage but] Jimmy: [shamelessly helping her up even though she don't need it and being actually worried until you can see she's not hurt] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: didn't push you over Janis: [when you start to hobble away for the drama of it all] Jimmy: stop, dickhead Janis: [looking like, what?] Jimmy: [goes and helps her obvs] Janis: I could've done it Janis: you were rushing me Jimmy: Yeah, I were Jimmy: on the ⏲ Jimmy: you said 45 mins uninterrupted Janis: you challenged me Janis: we could've just gone inside Jimmy: you challenged you Jimmy: admit you need me Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: I heard some dumb shit Jimmy: [walks away but not far just to make the point cos she was leaning on him then] Janis: [😑] Janis: stop being a twat Jimmy: you Janis: you Janis: immature Jimmy: I'm a lad, we do it slower Janis: no excuse for acting like a kid is it Janis: [is less 😑 though] Jimmy: What's yours, I'll borrow that Janis: I'm injured, bastard Jimmy: You've been a knobhead since before I got here Janis: and how the fuck would you know thay Jimmy: I've heard some dumb shit an' all Jimmy: I told you, I ain't that new Janis: Exactly Janis: how would you know Janis: [walks off faster now, with as little hobbling as poss.] Jimmy: [stops her so he can try and help her again because not that rude] Janis: I don't need your help Jimmy: I don't need to offer but I am Janis: I'm meant to be grateful, yeah? Janis: do one Jimmy: [shakes his head because no and no and is helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: fine, white knight 'til we're back but then leave me alone Jimmy: [picks her up cos that's permission right there, if you say so boy #problematic and sure if anyone sees them it'll look #goals] Janis: [when you ain't speaking so you don't say no] Jimmy: [casual walk back in silence, obvs he gently puts her on her bed and leaves] Jimmy: [definitely takes a bottle out of the two that are left cos his share even though it's not gonna do fuck all] Janis: [when you're definitely like cheek but not gonna break your vow of silence to argue about that like] Jimmy: [okay so my idea is, he shows up later, knocking on the door which Grace answers so he knows she's there cos this is only gonna work if she was and sweeps in full of apologies like I'm so sorry you got hurt cos of me babe etc (which would kill Grace cos that boy ain't sorry and that's the tea) but critically there is some real sorry if there hidden for him being an actual dickhead, like. Even though we can pretend it's for Grace's benefit everything he's saying and why she has to accept and get back on this fake train] Janis: [good thinking my nugget] Jimmy: [he ain't that good of an actor and anyway he'd make sure she can see he's actually sorry too] Janis: [lbr she's too closed off to want to talk about it so she's gonna take it for what it is, even if this puts them back 10 paces, that's the vibe always] Jimmy: [gotta throw yourself fully into this pantomime so it don't get too real kids, really milking that injury and his nurse role] Janis: [truly, give them an oscar] Jimmy: [nobody give Grace one, cos we all see you] Janis: [when her friends are probably low-key over nursing her now like quit before they bitching to mia about you gurl] Jimmy: [literally that though, she'd have to have given it up which makes it ruder that Jimothy then shows up to do it for Janis] Janis: [oh this poor boy she's gonna be feeling murderous at now] Jimmy: [plus you know Jimmy would be being so hot about everything like 'oh does this hurt, what about this' as a shameless reason to touch up her entire leg] Janis: [just umming and ahhing like you're not sure so he has to keep doing it lmao okay] Jimmy: [Grace's friends just 👀🍿 while they're doing their make up or whatever] Janis: [welcome for tonight's entertainment ladies, be sure to tell the whole world, being that bitch by asking him to get you something like water and then being like 'don't go' 'cos they'd love that] Jimmy: [he should totally get his hoodie for her too which she still has #duh and put it on for her like she's an actual invalid] Janis: [get on the invaleed couch honey] Jimmy: [please say she's wearing the pjs rn for that throwback and mood] Janis: [of course, 'cos bitch actually does the activities so her clothes would be muddy, as if you weren't jello enough ladies like put that perf body away] Jimmy: [this is why as much as Grace wants to share a room she also doesn't because be more beautiful Janis goddamn] Janis: [cuts her hair off in her sleep or smothers her with a pillow] Jimmy: [also he should be ignoring his phone going off (we know its because fuck you Ian) because what would be more goals to Grace and her friends than full attention] Janis: [100%, though she should pick it up (when it ain't ringing like lol) and just go on it 'cos trust with the passcode too omg] Jimmy: [and bonus points that it adds to his new boy mystery like why is he so in demand] Janis: [god bless, when you'd be trying so hard not to lol at them at so many points] Jimmy: [literally do give them an oscar cos I could not] Janis: [kick it up a notch by being like 'you know what would make me feel better' 'cos it's a power move when the girl says it, nick from the act] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaas] Janis: [like we said though, actually have to make out 'cos no faking that part] Jimmy: [good thing they've got real chemistry] Jimmy: [just a really epic make out sesh for everyone to enjoy and Grace is like NOPE g2g] Janis: [facetimeing mia rn 'cos they think you too busy to notice and lbr, a bitch would screen record she creepy lmao] Jimmy: [Grace just stomping around fuming getting ready really quick by her standards meanwhile this is the hardest JJ have had to go, don't think about it] Janis: [oh babe you know they ain't gonna stop, meanwhile janis just freaking 'cos she ain't ever been arsed before and it feels good so whoops] Jimmy: [literally no acting going on from him here he's just fully into it cos no need to hold back unlike with the lovebite situ when you can pretend its all for that lot, any sounds you make or things you do] Jimmy: [taking that hoodie off her again like] Janis: [when an audience means you can do more, what is this time period, god bless] Jimmy: [it's my fave for a reason cos who else would even do this never mind take it this far] Janis: [just going for the other ear like she said she would] Jimmy: [at least he doesn't have to act like he's not into it/she's bad at it this time cos barely got away with that the first time] Janis: [there's no hiding it rn, deny it later lads] Jimmy: [that said he'd still have to whisper some kind of pisstake in her ear about it just so she can't be too smug later] Janis: [naturally, can't be too real with it] Jimmy: [loses some of the sass when you're breathless as hell trying to say it though so] Janis: [so you just 😏 now like heh] Jimmy: [just gotta pull her hair so you can pull her into you and a kiss to wipe that smugness off her face like nbd so casual rn] Janis: [when that kiss would be so aggressive bye] Jimmy: [it makes me die because Grace would NEVER let anyone touch her hair, not even the fam and especially not a boy it's like her number 1 THING so she can see that and it can be her cue to slam that door and go honey] Janis: [you should probably leave shameless friends like there's no reason for you to be in here now lmao] Jimmy: [them just hurrying off after her so gutted they gotta leave meanwhile JJ are gonna be gutted that they have to stop] Janis: [soz lads, purely for your audience, remember, at least he can't leave 'cos that'd look so rude like bye we done] Jimmy: [and you know her friends would be loitering lowkey cos Grace is in no mood to be followed and would sister snap so there's the excuse they don't need] Janis: [exactly, you gotta stick it out 'til a teacher finds you and kicks you out tbh] Jimmy: [Jimmy just aggressively drinking that water he got for her #thirstybitch so he don't have to look at her or say anything] Jimmy: [lowkey shady sir like lemme get the taste of you out of my mouth] Janis: [when you get up to look in the mirror like you're remotely arsed what you look like but really you're just assessing love bite damage] Jimmy: [pissing about with the bed once she's off it unscrewing something or whatever so they can pretend they broke it] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face] Jimmy: [shrugs and goes on his phone to check in with both Bobby and Cass] Janis: [wrapping her ankle with some tape she'd probably have brought 'cos sporty bitch not 'cos it's needed but for the look of] Jimmy: [does the face back at her cos good idea and gestures for her to go to the door and listen if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are being that extra or if they've gone] Janis: [hops over, again not 'cos she needs too but #bants and has a serious listening face on] Jimmy: [tries not to lol for what must be the millionth time honestly] Janis: [gestures for him to come over and nods like they're there but I have a plan] Jimmy: [comes over of course] Janis: [pushes him into the door and starts faking noises like you do the same keep up 'cos that'll shake them to their core but also show 'em that they're still going at it, like] Jimmy: [does as he's told this once] Janis: [least they wouldn't have to do that long 'cos they'd bolt because could not not lol out loud at that] Jimmy: [goes through Grace's drawers, finds her condom stash, opens one and ditches it but leaves the wrapper when it can obvs be seen at the top of the bin] Janis: [when you make a face that's like ew but fair] Jimmy: [🙄 but playfully cos not like you're living for this bit either] Janis: ['could've just pulled out, amateur' but whispering 'cos don't wanna be too loud unless for the right reasons yet] Jimmy: that the fave 🍀 method then? Janis: pretty much Jimmy: bit soon for a fake pregnancy scare Jimmy: and I obvs couldn't 'cause I want you so much 💕 Janis: obvs Janis: c'est la vie, just wanted the trip to Liverpool, like Jimmy: how many of these shall I do? Jimmy: [gestures to the wrapper like] Jimmy: don't wanna have to throw your sister on a ferry or under a bus Janis: [goes over to look how many there are and chucks out two more, opening one] Janis: she'd be buzzin' Janis: know she's the type Jimmy: My ex has got one she's bound to be regretting by now if she's that desperate, like Janis: [looks at the condom then him then down like awks] Jimmy: Piss off, it ain't mine Janis: [when you literally breathe out like phew] Janis: Jesus, lead with that Jimmy: [throws whatever stuffed toy Grace still sleeps with at her] Janis: [clutches the bear to her chest like 😲 faux outrage] Janis: how dare you treat Tuffie like that Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Jimmy: be our secret, yeah? Janis: good thing you ain't a dad Janis: [throws the thing at him] Jimmy: raising two kids, only not with her Jimmy: [throws it back] Janis: [just playing catch at this point, obvs doesn't think he's got two kids like that so is like okay] Janis: explains why you're so knackered Janis: that and all the wild fake sex Jimmy: that'll do it Jimmy: [sits on Grace's bed and starts doodling on the back of his hand with her eyebrow pencil or whatever] Janis: those things are like 20 quid a pop Janis: [is clearly amused by this not mad, goes over to the window to open it and get some air] Jimmy: better start paying me then Jimmy: [does the good idea face again though cos letting that non existent sex smell out] Janis: you weren't fake that good and I'm not fake that desperate Jimmy: [😏 cos yeah he was] Janis: [kicks her bed so he wobbles] Jimmy: [is like OI cos of course his doodle smudges cos he's left handed anyway] Janis: [shrugs like you know what you did but goes over to the mirror where the makeup has been left, finds him the wipes and gets a lipstick and puts it on] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos not actually bothered also actually ambidextrous anyway so you choose to use that hand boy and we all see you shamelessly looking at her as well] Janis: ['hold still' and then covering his face/neck area with lipstick kisses quickly then smudging them with her fingers so they're faded] Janis: evidence Jimmy: you weren't wearing it before Jimmy: don't say much for me if you stopped mid go to put it on Janis: weren't my face they were looking at, new boy Janis: 😍 Janis: trust Jimmy: when it was attached to mine they were Janis: it's only a nude, not fuck off red Janis: wipe it off if you reckon though Jimmy: not my area of expertise tbh mate Janis: 🙄 Janis: then hush Jimmy: til you want me to get loud again sure Janis: they shouldn't come back now Janis: hopefully they have some life, like Janis: unlikely though it seems Jimmy: What about Grace? Meant to sleep here Janis: I'm hoping she's Ophelia'd herself in the lake Janis: probably go in with them now, idk Jimmy: If she's beat us to the 💀 pact, I'm 💔 Janis: gotta get the attention back somehow Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: [leans out of the open window to 🚬 cos can't leave yet] Janis: purely post-coital, obviously Jimmy: you should have one an' all then Janis: [puts fingers up like 'three' but smiles like jk] Janis: go on then Jimmy: [obviously lights her up cos a princess can never fuck opening your own doors @ nick in the act this is the real #goals] Janis: [cheers motion, also it's clearly a small window/small room in general so they'd have to be close rn] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly, so much of your bodies touching casually] Janis: [when you'd be so aware of it after dry humping each other for however long there] Jimmy: [literally though and she did not have many clothes on at all so] Janis: [still don't rn like hi] Jimmy: [when you remember because you're brushing up against so much of her bare skin so you fetch the hoodie again like a dutiful bf even though nobody's watching] Jimmy: [making her hold your 🚬 while you get it] Janis: [puts it on 'cos lbr you both need another layer between you rn] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out of it for her unthinkingly, how intimate excuse you boy] Janis: [just freezes casually like] Jimmy: [when you just take a step back like] Janis: [just goes and sits on Grace's bed to finish it 'cos whaddya care tbh so unphased by all of this] Jimmy: [he'll be here unmoving like musical statues nbd] Janis: [on her phone seeing if any of the goss has ended up there yet 'cos invariably will, sends him a gossipy ass post with '😂 #missionaccomplished?' Jimmy: 👍 Janis: guess you can go now then Janis: do you reckon Jimmy: [his phone is going off again too but it's just the fam so ignoring for rn] Jimmy: Alright Janis: unless you wanna try to sleep Janis: clearly the teachers are too pissed to be clued in right now Jimmy: [fixes her bed and lies on it] Jimmy: remind me to break it again Janis: will do Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [closes his eyes but nobody falls asleep that fast and we all know it] Janis: [quietly like 'night' and turning the big light off and putting on a lamp by the bottom bunk as if this is such a casual situation] Janis: don't freak if I have to hop up there if Grace comes back, yeah Jimmy: [when the pillow obvs smells like her cos its hers and you're just lying there like mistakes have been made before the thought of having to lie with her has even crossed your mind] Jimmy: even if I do, I'll fake I ain't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 me Janis: [little lol] Janis: lucky for you casper, I don't sleep, so she won't reckon you've kicked me out my own bed or nothing Jimmy: I know you're a vampire already, don't need to convince me, girl Janis: no neck biting Janis: scout's honour Jimmy: Saving it for the bus back, I get it, why wouldn't you? Janis: my parting gift to you, babe Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: well romantic that is Janis: ain't it just Janis: beats whatever the shit giftshop has got on offer Jimmy: So cute you Janis: bullshit am I Jimmy: I'll steal you a pen or fridge magnet, make you believe me Janis: 🧸 obviously needs a friend Janis: cute enough for ya Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: 🐷 🦈 or 🐴? Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: alright 🧸 if you wanna twin with Grace that bad Janis: fuck off or I'm breaking the bed whilst you're still in it Jimmy: just don't kick it Jimmy: might get more than fake injured Janis: thanks for the fake concern Jimmy: hot as that bandage is, like Janis: vampire, not a mummy, got it Janis: fucking halloween up in here Jimmy: what you wanna be the easter bunny or? Janis: that's the cliche hot option, ain't it Jimmy: give us some 🍫 then Jimmy: she must have it hidden somewhere Janis: you just lay there whilst I look, your highness Janis: [but is] Jimmy: could've asked you to make me a sandwich Janis: you want me to smack you that badly, just ask Janis: [finds some 'cos obvs knows her and throws it up] Jimmy: 🤤😍 etc Janis: I felt that, so convincing Jimmy: I know you can feel every bruise, babe Jimmy: that job's done with Janis: thank god Janis: 😷 Jimmy: 💔 etc Janis: go to sleep, dickhead Jimmy: [as if on cue Bobby's blowing his phone up cos can't] Janis: can get that, like Janis: got 🎧 and not bothered what you're chatting about Janis: sounds important Jimmy: I'm tired Jimmy: [but obvs does because has to] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [casually the longest convo ever, poor bab] Janis: [doesn't listen 'cos ain't that bitch but does take 'em off for a sec to see if he's done but is like oh when he ain't] Jimmy: [why you gotta be so shit Ian it was your idea he went] Janis: [when you can't get your own kid to sleep like] Jimmy: [when you don't try cos you're the shut the door on him type aka my mum lol] Janis: [goes out for a wee, get a drink etc so he doesn't feel rushed or like she would be listening] Jimmy: [when you're done but then can't sleep cos mad at your dad so 🚬 at the window again] Janis: [has brought him a drink too so when she sees he's up puts it on the window sill for him but doesn't speak 'cos can read the room well enough] Jimmy: [staring out the window furiously excuse him] Janis: [a look she knows personally so not going to be up in his face, just gets back on Grace's bed] Jimmy: let's go Janis: okay Janis: anywhere, yeah? Jimmy: [downs the drink she brought him to show it's appreciated thank you bae] Jimmy: Teacher's block first, that's the real holy show Janis: [raises her eyebrows like what you got planned but nods 'cos regardless, swapping her shorts for joggers before they go like] Jimmy: were gonna say put some clothes on Jimmy: don't tell anyone though Janis: [mimes zipping her lips] Jimmy: so many secrets, I know Jimmy: [touches the OG lovebite] Janis: [opens the door with a flourish like lead the way 'cos can't dwell on that/make it a moment] Jimmy: [walks through but then remembers what she said about halloween and runs back to take all the toilet paper he can find like a little nerd] Janis: [😏 wid it, helps] Jimmy: 🎃🧛👻 Janis: [a bit of lowkey mindless vandalism will help take your mind off it] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 🤞 🐰 girl Jimmy: [that and spying on the teachers in general would be fun for that hot goss] Janis: I won't hop, if it's all the same to you Janis: [deffo, we know they're schwasted] Jimmy: what kind of fake injury Jimmy: you gotta commit, Jules Janis: the idea is, no one sees us Janis: if we get caught I'll fall dramatically into your arms, yeah Jimmy: No need Jimmy: [picks her up like he did earlier but with a very different vibe we know] Janis: ['this is committing, yeah'] Jimmy: [a look] Janis: [looking back like half challenge half like what's up before tapping his back like let's go] Jimmy: [boy we get that you wanna be distracted by her specifically in a specific way but please calm down] Janis: [can't let you do that yet lads] Jimmy: [on you go to annoy the teachers and spy] Janis: [at least that'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [before they go back they should see Grace leaving that lad's room but obvs she don't see them] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [gives her a ? look cos maybe he was focused on teacher drama still] Janis: [shakes her head and starts walking not in the direction of the rooms] Janis: got any 🚬 left Jimmy: [obvs does and obvs lights one for her and then himself] Janis: [heading outside and to a bench to smoke in silence] Jimmy: [sits near but not close] Janis: ['just gutted we didn't learn O'Brien's a dark horse, like'] Jimmy: ['she ain't no lightweight, next time'll be the one, heard it's France'] Janis: ['next time then'] Jimmy: ['it's a date'] Janis: ['ain't gonna be dead by then?'] Jimmy: ['Depends'] Janis: [nods like I feel you] Jimmy: ['Taking that as your personal guarantee the poison you got is stronger than the shit they're drinking, don't let me down, rich girl'] Janis: ['it's lethal, trust me' and a look] Jimmy: [nods like good] Janis: ['you should go in, get some sleep at last'] Jimmy: [nods again but doesn't move] Janis: ['want me to return the favour and carry you?'] Jimmy: [😏 'on that proper dodgy ankle, no way baby' and playfully nudges it with his own foot 'sleep on the bus with you as my pillow, tah'] Janis: [shakes her head but is 😏 back 'well soz my tits aren't bigger then'] Jimmy: ['me an' all, would make this shit easier to fake'] Janis: ['you're such a cunt'] Jimmy: [gives her a well I'm soz about that then sarcastic look] Janis: [kicks him but not hard as she gets up 'later then'] Jimmy: [is all oi as per but not really ever mad] Janis: [shrugs like what you gonna do about it and goes off in the direction of a trail to do a casual run at whatever late o'clock this is] Jimmy: proper miss you already 💕 Janis: beam it into the night sky, batman Janis: I already know Jimmy: hang on, trying to do a 😳🐷 Jimmy: you see it yet? Janis: you're meant to be an artist Janis: sort it out Jimmy: never said I were Janis: you did Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I reckoned I could sort you a poster Jimmy: so could my little brother Janis: good enough Janis: get to work Jimmy: very inspiring you Janis: soz I don't look more like a pig Janis: you who keeps on saying it Jimmy: it's you who keeps going pink Jimmy: soz I didn't have a hoodie in that colour Janis: erm not even once Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: You coming to bed or what? Janis: I can't be in the same room as her right now Jimmy: be in mine then Janis: alright Janis: cheers Jimmy: Alright, come on Janis: just gotta circle back Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: such an athlete, I know Janis: I never said that either Janis: but yeah, I won't deny it Jimmy: Don't have to, still got my 👀 Jimmy: not fully closed or owt yet Janis: Impressive Jimmy: can't deny it Janis: 🙄 Janis: [showing up 'cos wouldn't have got too far] Jimmy: [just quietly like 'hey'] Janis: [lil awkward laugh like 'alright'] Jimmy: [and it's back to walking in silence] Janis: [when you don't know if he's giving you his bed or you're about to get in together so you're mentally preparing yourself for either] Jimmy: [when you know you're gonna share (can blame Ollie's presence but we know the truth and that he's sleeping) so preparing yourself for that since you didn't think it through before you said it] Janis: [styling it out like you're way more confident than you are 'cos can be part of the act, hence she'd take her joggers and the hoodie off casually 'cos wouldn't sleep that clothed but waits for him to get in first like your bed] Jimmy: [we all see you taking your top off boy even though there's no need] Janis: [👀 when you looking but try to be subtle please] Jimmy: [she's earned that right tbh he's seen and touched so much of her by now] Janis: [fair] Jimmy: [in you get kids for your single bed forced closeness] Janis: [get used to it tbh, at least he's clearly tired af so can at least pretend he's sleeping even if he ain't] Jimmy: [they are both too tall for this to be comfy you'd literally have to be all over each other] Janis: [again, no denying you're into it, just have to stay quiet if you wanna pretend lads] Jimmy: [the realest] Jimmy: [and don't move too much, don't need to get betrayed by your boy parts there Jimothy] Janis: [as amusing as that would be for us, don't need you to die of shame] Jimmy: [🐘 in the room now and definitely earlier because there is no way you could do all that shit and not] Janis: [she'd be like, don't take it personally, that shit just happens but it doesn't just happen if you're not into it at all, like] Jimmy: [mhmm as much as his internal monologue be like well I can't help that we all know if it was Grace or whoever you wouldn't be feeling it so bye] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [if it was Mia it'd go back inside his body] Janis: [lmao you wouldn't know she was in the bed with you tbh] Jimmy: [don't ever wanna think about her hooking up with anyone my god] Janis: [amazing it happens so much] Jimmy: [just gonna think about JJ having a spoon instead thank you] Janis: [indeed, much nicer] Jimmy: [at least he is tired enough to fall asleep eventually because that'd feel like the longest night ever if not] Janis: [let her have some too or rude for likewise] Jimmy: [pray you don't dream about earlier either of you] Janis: [hope neither of you sleep talk] Jimmy: [can't be that cruel omg] Janis: [awks when ollie wakes up like hi] Jimmy: [you gotta run girl, really hit him in those abandonment issues when wakes up] Janis: [see you on the bus] Jimmy: [#awks] Janis: [gotta sit next to each other though, at least faking it for the fans will break the ice] Jimmy: [least there's only so much coupleyness you can do there if you're not making out, no need to go as hard] Janis: [mainly the aforementioned snuggling] Jimmy: [first time he ever plays with her hair in a soft way which will forever be his future fave] Janis: [just imagined grace from her seat like 😒] Jimmy: [honestly, probably crying on the low because contrary to popular belief she is capable of subtlety when needed to protect herself like that] Janis: [but we must know, did he go to the giftshop] Jimmy: [he had to steal her a teddy of some sort or I swear to god] Janis: [she can take a selfie with that then] Jimmy: [probably the kind of crap sort that have a t-shirt on of the place but he didn't spend money on it so] Janis: [it's the #brag that counts, they'd be jel] Jimmy: [exactly and it's points for him with her cos he stole it like he said he would and didn't get caught or anything cringe] Janis: [exactly dr phil dem sneaky feels] Jimmy: [and the reminder of this trip when she thinks its all she's gonna get] Janis: [lmao what a headfuck like you're just gonna pretend you don't know each other now okay lads] Jimmy: [in what world also everyone would be like UM what] Jimmy: [I love how they haven't discussed it once] Janis: [ridiculous] Jimmy: [it's the best thing likewise how nobody's gonna think she's gay after those bedroom antics so there's no reason for her to agree to anymore but she do] Janis: [be more blatant with your flimsy reasoning guys] Jimmy: [you silly eggs] Janis: thank fuck it's the holidays Jimmy: 🙌 Janis: 💃 Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: 👙🕶 Jimmy: 😎 forever obvs but 🎊 that you can't take the piss about it Janis: every ☁ Jimmy: ⛅ Janis: just remember to sign off with a post about how you'll miss me though Jimmy: it's drafted Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I get it, your 👅 is tied around me, babe Jimmy: lemme write it for you Janis: trust falls were yesterday Janis: what are you actually gonna write Jimmy: refresh my feed in a bit Jimmy: it'll be there Janis: shifty Jimmy: I ain't forgot how easily you scare Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: yeah, in a bit Jimmy: hang on in there Janis: do my best Janis: feel 💀 approaching though Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude to outlive me when we made a pact Janis: I'm more of a shootout with the law kinda girl Janis: what can I say Jimmy: nowt 'cause you should've said before Janis: don't remember signing nothing Janis: in blood or otherwise Jimmy: 💀💌 got a massive J scrawled on it, my dear Janis: [😏] Janis: fine Janis: see you at the funeral, beloved Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Your sister keeps staring at me Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [such a GOOD long kiss that's no less intense than any of their others but softer and therefore easier for him to say is 1000% fake cos she don't know what a #softboy he is yet] Janis: [you know the bus would wheyyy 'cos nowhere to hide so even if you're caught off guard you've gotta play into it yeah] Janis: surprised she can see fuck all Janis: 😭 Jimmy: thought you were gonna say you blinded her Jimmy: save all your maiming for me, eh 💕 Janis: 'course Janis: doesn't get that biblical Janis: my brother's deaf but that's fuck all to do with me alright Jimmy: sounds fake but alright Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['wipes it off his face with her hands then cups his chin you know what I mean ott cutesy] Janis: rude Jimmy: [giving her those OTT 😍 so fake mhmm] Jimmy: Teach me some sign language then Janis: [says something along the lines of 'I'm gonna maim you' I hope Grace isn't looking that hard, just like excuse me, teaching him swear obvs 'cos first thing anyone does lol] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time learning and loling its fine Grace will be blinded by her tears after that cute kiss] Janis: [when you forget you're putting on a show but this is a mood anyway so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally though, love that for them] Janis: [even the teachers can't be mad 'cos you know they'd be like ooh they know sign language teach everyone 'cos it looks good on them] Jimmy: [Grace is the only one fuming honey, texting Mia like] Janis: [that snek, just gonna keep that 'i fucked your brother' 'til it really hurts] Jimmy: [she's the literal worst and Pablo is too hot for you, girl] Janis: [what a time] Jimmy: [is there anything else we want to happen, besides a dramatic hug goodbye at the end obvs] Janis: [and taking off his hoodie to give back] Jimmy: [but he's like no, boy don't be giving your clothes away she's richer than you] Janis: cute bit Janis: I'll drop it off somewhere covert, like Jimmy: You'll have stretched it Janis: please Janis: you stupid Jimmy: Take the closest thing to a tit compliment you're getting off me and leave it out Janis: 🙄 Janis: you're alright, thanks Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: make sure you tweet that out 💕 so sweet to me, you Janis: you said you drafted it Janis: ugh Jimmy: My bit, yeah Jimmy: [but also sends out that pic she took of herself in the hoodie way back when remember with a post about how he's letting her keep it cos it looks better on her etc] Jimmy: that ain't it though Janis: guess I'll have to put my thinking cap on Jimmy: if you can find one to fit your big head once all the comments, likes and DMs flood in] Janis: nope, I'll take this fame and run with it Janis: all I ever wanted, obvs Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🤩 me Janis: you'll always be my no.1 fan, babe Janis: 😘 Jimmy: Babe OMG 😭💕😘 Janis: I know, so sweet Janis: 😇 you might say Jimmy: You would Jimmy: I'd go 😈 Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: You really want one last 😳 for the road, yeah? Jimmy: You'll always be my 😳🐷, girl Janis: Wow 😭💕😘 Jimmy: I know, Shakespeare's #quaking Janis: yeah, well known pussy destroyer, old bill Jimmy: [laughs] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [showing her how extra everyone is being on that post obvs] Janis: [between an eyeroll and vaguely smug 'cos it's worked but people are cray] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can do replies if she wants, enjoy seeing that trust again peeps] Janis: [when you get to be a funny bitch, hands him hers like there's Mia say hi] Jimmy: [obvs does and it would obvs also be hilarious, he'd probably literally facetime her rn like oh hey cos doesn't give a fuck] Janis: [don't get feeling special, babe] Jimmy: [when he's a better mean girl than Mia bye] Janis: [cackling] Jimmy: [If you weren't into him before Janis, you will be now] Janis: she's such a cunt Janis: wish I coulda seen her tryna haul ass up a rock wall though Jimmy: we can 💀💀 her when we get back Jimmy: I'll put my thinking cap on Janis: could blow on her and she'd go tbh Janis: that was ON, btw, don't get ideas Jimmy: I did read it as let her blow me Jimmy: not that ride or die for you, mate Janis: her teeth are probs false so it'd be a good time Janis: 👵 Jimmy: Alright, I'm in Jimmy: [sends a pic of Norman Bates' dead mum in the OG psycho you know the one] Jimmy: Just my type that Janis: why stop at a beej Janis: dress her up and take her for a spin 'round your room, like Jimmy: It's a date Janis: that's why you 😎 huh Janis: psycho eyes Janis: no faking emotion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't forget my crows feet Jimmy: It's alright though I reckon I look decent for 45 Janis: too cocky for a predator, honestly Janis: 🙄 Janis: got the receipts and everything, boy Janis: man, whatever Jimmy: If you hear sirens, they're for me Jimmy: Calm Mr Lucas down however you like Janis: awh, you wanted to start a ⚪ Janis: that's cute Jimmy: still time or? Janis: he's only got 👀 for me and it's very fucking rude to suggest otherwise Jimmy: Is that what he told you? #awks Janis: shut up Janis: shit stirrer Jimmy: I'm not talking Janis: tryna break me and my mans up Janis: got a taste for it, like Janis: fuck 👻 boy, you're a monster Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: holiday flings been fun and all but he's dependable Janis: penciled in every Wednesday, last period, like Janis: 😍😍😍 #getyouamans Jimmy: the point were I don't want one Jimmy: 🙏 only Janis: the ultimate Man Janis: I get it Janis: 😇 repent, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: soon be time to be a 😈 and 💔 me Janis: that's the storyline, yeah? Jimmy: Got a better one? Janis: Nah, just wondering Janis: cool, I'll find a willing participant then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [scrolling through the post 'cos lads be horny on main] Jimmy: [when you're so 😒 but you can't let it show] Janis: [dw this plan lasts like 10 secs you thirsty hoes] Jimmy: [don't even go into how triggered he'd be cos how much his ex cheated bye] Janis: [exactly dr phil it doesn't happen for all the reasons and we know it] Jimmy: [boy just shut down over here nbd nothing to see people] Janis: [when you notice but you're not gonna bring that up but you put the phone down like k and go back to chillin'] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's just texting Cass on the way back from her trip, distracting himself with big brother duties, like] Janis: [when usually you get picked up from school after a trip but you know ian ain't coming honey] Jimmy: [literally, he will have to go himself so fingers crossed they get back earlier than her trip does] Janis: [least they at the same school and live near it but still, also janis and grace in charming moods so welcome home! lmao] Jimmy: [Caleb chatting away in the car in portugese god bless] Janis: [when ain't no one talking to you, janis probably didn't wanna get in like oh lads] Jimmy: [break my heart all of y'all, Grace only speaks to be like drop me at Mia's] Janis: [aren't you so glad you had 10 kids looool] Jimmy: [truly]

Rio & Buster

Rio: You owe someone a pint, like Buster: What? Rio: Indie just got back from A & E Rio: Someone broke Drew's nose, apparently Buster: So it was broke? Good Buster: You can have that pint on me Rio: You what now Buster: You heard me Buster: I'm not about to toast myself, maybe next time if I go harder but Buster: If you wanna celebrate, you're welcome Rio: What the fuck, Buster? Buster: What's your problem? You were happy about it a second ago Rio: I'm not crying about it but Rio: why? Buster: Don't act like you need a list Rio: I thought you'd decided to leave it Rio: What changed? Buster: He didn't leave it Buster: Started chatting shit so Rio: When doesn't he? Hardly new Buster: When he's bleeding Buster: He's too busy trying not to cry then, like Rio: For God's sake Buster: What? Buster: You want me to be sorry now? Rio: This isn't funny Rio: I want you to think of an excuse for hitting him 'cos you clearly don't have a real reason you're wanting to share Buster: Oh so you wanna know what he was saying about you, is that it? Buster: 'Cause there's my reason Rio: Yeah, well I assume you don't want to tell Indie, or anyone else that could ask, that Rio: hence we agreed to leave it and him alone Buster: He's not gonna tell anyone that an 18 year old posh boy fucked him up Buster: It's fine Rio: It ain't Rio: there's something you aren't telling me Buster: You mean I ain't Buster: True Buster: But I don't wanna talk about it so unless there's any more you wanna say about Drew Rio: I don't care about him Buster: Good to know Buster: It hasn't been that long since we spoke last, like Buster: Would be awkward if you'd changed your mind that hard Rio: Is there anything I can do? Rio: Without you having to talk, like Buster: I don't know Buster: I'm just trying to have a drink Rio: Fine Rio: well you said you'd buy me one so where are you? Buster: The fam boozer so I'm guessing you're gonna want a raincheck on that Rio: What, you can't be seen with me now? Buster: What like we're best friends who drink together now? Rio: It's not that weird Rio: you just want to avoid the conversation Buster: It can be both Rio: Is Grandad there? Buster: 'Course Buster: So I don't need you sliding into the booth next to me Buster: My head's already wrecked without being that close to you as well Rio: Good Rio: Just tell me what's wrong Buster: There aren't words for it, babe Buster: I don't know what to say Rio: It's not gotta be poetic Rio: take your time but Rio: you're scaring me, like Buster: That's not what I want, I'm sorry Buster: It's just a mess. I am Buster: Chlo hit me up again Rio: It's alright, just let Grandad take you home when he says you've had enough, yeah? Rio: Right, what did she say? Buster: She's saying its not mine now Rio: Oh, babe Rio: It should be illegal to mess with someone's head this much Rio: What the fuck is wrong with her Buster: She don't wanna be associated with me so she's lying Buster: But I can't prove that until she has the kid Rio: Jesus Rio: Be honest, is it because of me? Because, you can change her mind on that Rio: I know I said it was a bad idea but fuck Buster: It's too late to change her mind Buster: You haven't heard the really good part yet Rio: I'm really sorry, Buster Rio: Now I don't have the words Rio: Do I even want to know, what could be the 'good' part of this? Buster: Don't say sorry Buster: None of this is your fault, I wouldn't play her game and I wouldn't have regardless of us being together or not Buster: You don't want to know but I had to hear it so Buster: And we tell each other everything yeah? Buster: She's told James he's the dad Buster: They are together now or some shit I assume Rio: No, it's all her, right Rio: It isn't yours either Rio: but this is fucking Rio: the worst, I didn't think people actually did shit like this outside of bad TV Rio: That would be hilarious if it so clearly wasn't Rio: even he doesn't deserve that, fucking hell Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe it did happen? I reckoned they hadn't fucked since last Christmas 'cause he hadn't said anything and you know how he likes to chat but maybe it's different with her Buster: Fuck knows why but he likes her Buster: Or maybe he was just off his face too like she said Buster: Or maybe she's just fucking lying to me Rio: That's the fucked thing Rio: you can't trust anything she says Rio: and then she tells you two stories anyway so, is either true, neither, like? Rio: The worst headfuck Buster: Tell me what to do Buster: I can't handle months of this Buster: I don't even know how far gone she is now, like Rio: Does she? Rio: Maybe you talk to her parents? They have to handle this because she isn't Rio: If she's under 18 and under their care, they've got some sway, she can't just do what she wants when she's fucking up this badly Buster: Alright Buster: That's a better idea that anything I'm doing right now Buster: Trying not to cry in this fucking pub Buster: Turned into my fucking sister Rio: Understandable, more than Rio: Do you want me to come get you? Buster: I don't even know what I want Buster: I should be happy shouldn't I? Off the hook Buster: Like I could literally go to America if I want Rio: Because you don't know for sure Rio: all she's given you is more uncertainty and you're not a complete cunt like her so you're not fine not knowing Rio: You wanna do the right thing Buster: I should've hit Drew harder, that's the closest I'm getting to the right thing right now Rio: I think you're right he won't say, Indie didn't have a clue so Rio: don't worry about that Rio: you wanna go punch things? Buster: I'm gonna be sick is what I reckon Buster: Hold on Rio: Better? Buster: I swear she's gonna give me a stomach ulcer like its the fucking 80s Buster: Stressing me the fuck out Buster: I'm not drunk enough for this, I'll never be Rio: Get another drink Rio: I'd like to give you better advice but at this point Rio: that is the best you can do Buster: I've changed my mind, you should come Buster: Be here Rio: Okay, I'll come get you Buster: Stay with me Buster: It's the furthest away from Chelsea cunts we can be Buster: I fucking love this pub Rio: Maybe you enjoy it for a while longer then I'll come, yeah Rio: Don't need the added stress of that do you Buster: You're not stress Rio: I mean the stress of not being us properly, like Buster: We're still us Buster: Remember when we were little, we were always here 'cause our parents were always working Rio: Yeah Rio: Why I'm so good at pool, like Buster: And pulling pints Buster: You loved it, Nance was under a table if she weren't behind me, but you were in your element, like Buster: 2nd home for you and gotta be our 3rd Rio: Naturally, cheers for the stunning CV like, pops Rio: Shit was so simple then Buster: I thought it was so shit at the time, what the fuck did I know Rio: Well, always been a moody bastard Buster: Nah, you've just always been that annoying Rio: Rude Rio: I am a delight and always have been Buster: Whatever you say, babe Buster: Still waiting on you to come here and show me Rio: Just 'cos I was everyone's fave, soz I took your shine Buster: Nobody can say no that face that's all Buster: Same, like Rio: How're you finding the time to still be cute, like? Buster: It comes natural with you, that's what I'm saying Buster: Everyone's fave Rio: Shh Buster: You know exactly what you're doing, looking and being like that Rio: What are you chatting, babe? Buster: That you're perfect Rio: And that's all part of my master plan, is it? 😏 Buster: Yeah Rio: 'Course Rio: well, don't tell Buster: 🤐 obviously Rio: Good, you're not that drunk yet Buster: I'm not drunk Buster: I'm working on it Rio: 😂 Godspeed Buster: Come and join me Buster: I'm gonna keep asking Buster: You're not the only one who can be annoying, like Rio: You wanna awkwardly avoid eye contact that bad? Buster: I want you Rio: Then drink your drinks and I'll come get you Rio: you can't have me in the pub Rio: we can't talk either, which I know is part of the appeal Buster: so sensible Buster: it's hot Rio: Glad you agree, babe Buster: 😏 Rio: Remember, water, yeah? Buster: That's my line, baby Rio: Yeah but it's solid Rio: so take it, like Buster: Don't worry, it's handled Rio: Good boy Buster: Behave Buster: Talking like that to me Rio: 🤐 Buster: Don't act like you don't love it Rio: Obviously but Rio: time and a place isn't there Buster: it can be right now Rio: Nah Buster: Don't you wanna feel good? I do Rio: I know you do baby Rio: You will do again Buster: I hate this. I hate her Rio: Yeah Rio: This is horrible Buster: At least I don't have to tell Nance now Rio: That's true Rio: Any silver lining Buster: Yeah Buster: Dodged that bullet, cheers Chlo Rio: Yeah, enjoy not having her in your face for now Rio: 'til her parents can get this sorted Rio: it doesn't need to be all on you Buster: James of all people Buster: You're really gonna have to kick him off your stream now, he'll need all that cash Rio: Oh God Rio: what a pair Rio: could've gone my whole life without that mental image Buster: I'd almost feel bad for him if he wasn't such a cunt Buster: Don't worry lad I'll resolve this for you Rio: Yeah, wonder how he's feeling rn Rio: if it's even true, like Buster: Hit him up Buster: Sure he'd still love to hear from you, babe Rio: Play 2nd to Chloe again? You're alright Buster: Don't Buster: You never were Rio: I know Rio: just a joke Rio: also not gutted over the loss of James from the dating game, just in case you didn't get that either 😉 Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause from how he made it sound you had the best night of your life Rio: Oh James Rio: not a wistful sigh Rio: 😬 just nah Buster: Thank Christ I know enough about what you do like now to know it's such bullshit and not be jealous Rio: Yeah, that would really be a waste of your time, trust Buster: Been there, done that Rio: Yeah Rio: That feels like forever ago Buster: Yeah? Buster: I'm glad Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: Don't you think? Rio: It isn't really but a lot's happened since Rio: like I love you too Buster: Yeah Buster: Like you said, its one thing after another Rio: Yeah, won't tempt fate by asking what else but you know Rio: gotta be a limit, right? Buster: Regardless I need a holiday and we've just been Rio: Tell me about it Rio: Should've taken Nance up on her offer Buster: It ain't too late for a last minute trip, babe Rio: It is a bit Rio: 🎅 coming Buster: Like he ain't gonna know where to find you Rio: What about the fam tho Buster: I ain't saying you gotta go anywhere, you know he ain't the one bringing you gifts anyway Buster: Sit on my lap and tell me what you want Rio: Babe Rio: You're killing me Buster: Stop fighting it then Buster: I want you and you want me Rio: Not right now, I can't babe, 'cos you're trashed and even if you weren't, you ain't in the best headspace Rio: I'm still come see you if you want Buster: You can change that, you're the only person who can Buster: Give me a good mood Rio: Alright, omw Rio: remember where you are, yeah? Buster: I ain't no amateur remember Rio: Don't forget it, champ Buster: I've got a full 10 rounds left in me, babe Rio: 'Course 😏 Buster: You'll see Rio: Better not Rio: Best behaviour boy Buster: 'Course Rio: Very convincing Buster: Yeah I know Rio: Sure you've got the oscars speech ready, like Buster: I'll do it on the night Buster: Be alright Rio: 😂 Rio: Hot Buster: Like I said, yeah I know Rio: S'alright, I rate cockiness, as it goes so Buster: Glad to hear it, like Rio: What story do you reckon Ro is getting 'bout his busted nose Buster: 😂 Buster: Mugging for that watch he's still wearing on his wrist probably Rio: Forreal Rio: like hold up sis, this ain't adding up Buster: She's the stupidest smart woman I've ever met Rio: Wilful ignorance probably the least blissful but Rio: easier than dealing with the shitstorm I suppose Buster: Yeah Rio: I'd ask him but don't wanna give him any better ideas, get outta this one yourself moron Buster: Don't talk to him Rio: I'm not, he's just chatting shit Buster: About me? Rio: Well yeah, gotta try and save face after you beat him, like I care Buster: Tell me Rio: Not saying anything worth hearing, or getting mad about, don't worry Buster: Everything that comes out of his mouth makes me mad Buster: Don't start keeping secrets for him too Rio: I'm not, if you wanna know then you can but no need to bloody your knuckles over it a 2nd time is all I'm saying Buster: Whatever Rio: Don't be mad, I shouldn't have brought it up Buster: Yeah you should Buster: That's my fucking point Rio: It doesn't bother me Rio: I just ignore him Buster: Don't even fucking start me on that Buster: Seriously Rio: What Rio: what am I meant to do Buster: I'm not talking in circles with you about this Buster: You know the answers already and I'm mad Rio: If I thought there was a better way to deal with it, I'd be doing that so Rio: let's leave it Buster: Whatever Buster: Just keep leaving it for his fucking benefit, yeah? Fine Rio: Not his, everyone else's Buster: Bullshit. Who's it helping but him? Rio: Indie, Ro, their kid Rio: saving the entire fam from the aggro Buster: Nah Buster: They'd be better off knowing Buster: You're saving yourself 'cause you reckon they're gonna think you like it, nothing I can say 'cause I know better and I'm the most selfish cunt going too, but own it Buster: At least to me Buster: No more excuses, like Rio: You really think that's all it is, that I'm that selfish Rio: Fuck off Buster: I reckon it's closest to the truth, yeah Buster: 'Cause chat all you want but you're not saving the fam anything, just stalling and how is that better? Buster: Why would you wanna wait til that baby is old enough to understand or Ro's married? Fuck that Rio: So that's on me now too, yeah? Rio: She's turned a blindeye to worse and we all know it Buster: She ain't turning a blind eye to this though and you know it Buster: She doesn't know Buster: He ain't that stupid and neither is she Rio: There's nothing to know because nothing's going to happen Rio: Despite what you clearly reckon, I won't let it Buster: Fuck off, Rio Buster: Don't twist my words Buster: The intent is there, ain't that bad enough? Rio: What, like I'm special? Rio: Sure he's already cheating on her Rio: sorry I don't wanna be the other woman she can push bullshit blame on Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: She's not gonna blame you Buster: You're family, she loves you, she helped raise you, shut up Rio: Whatever Rio: I know how this goes Buster: No you don't Buster: And if Nance was in your place you wouldn't be saying whatever about it Rio: Well she isn't Rio: and it wouldn't be anyone but me Buster: Don't you dare tell me again that you asked for this Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: I didn't say it Buster: You're thinking it though Buster: That's so fucked Rio: You've said as much right here so don't act like you haven't Rio: or that everyone else won't so yeah, whatever, you're right Buster: I've never meant it though Buster: You do Rio: It's the truth Buster: No it's not Buster: It's so far from the truth Rio: Whatever Rio: I've got nothing more to say about it Buster: Fuck this Buster: I'm going for a walk Rio: Alright Buster: Yeah it will be, I'm not gonna punch anyone on my way out, like Rio: Good to know Buster: Besides, even if I did, it can't be traced back to you in any way this time so Buster: All good Rio: Don't be a prick Buster: Like you said, I can't act like I ain't Rio: When did I even say that Rio: This conversation is ridiculous Buster: 'Cause you're being ridiculous Rio: Me? Rio: Okay Buster: Yeah you Buster: It ain't me Rio: Blame me all you've gotta Buster: I'd be in good company if I did at least Rio: Shut up Buster: No Rio: Thought you were going for a walk Buster: I am Buster: I can walk and talk just as easy as you can tell me to fuck off if that's what you want Rio: Do what you want Rio: just don't fall in the river and drown Buster: Fuck that Buster: I'm not an idiot Rio: I'm just saying Rio: I'm glad you're so passionately anti-drowning Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: 🙄 I want you to drown now do I? Rio: Jesus Buster, the drama Buster: I've gotta keep up with this fam somehow, all about that competitive streak, you know Rio: Do what you must Rio: Not in the mood for playing Buster: Go back to texting Drew then Buster: 'Cause he ain't Rio: Don't tempt me Buster: Don't use me as your excuse Rio: Fuck off Rio: If I'm gonna get accused then I may as well do it Buster: Fuck you Buster: If you wanna do it, do it, don't act like it's about me Rio: It isn't about you Rio: I desperately wanna ride Drew, ofc Buster: Shut up Rio: Isn't that what you wanna hear? Buster: Don't Rio: Then why are we having this conversation Buster: 'Cause he wants to fuck you and you don't care Buster: Just fucking care about yourself Rio: Whatever, everybody wants to fuck me Rio: I'm everyone's favourite, yeah? Buster: Stop Buster: It's different and you know it Rio: Really Rio: I don't think we should go there Buster: Whatever Rio: Seriously, glass house, stones, not a good idea Buster: What the fuck Rio: You don't see the irony in that at all Buster: Obviously you do Rio: I'm not blind Buster: Say what you wanna fucking say, Rio, you ain't mute either Rio: I've said it but fine Rio: it's alright when it benefits you but now it ain't 'cos it's him Buster: Seriously Buster: Fuck you Buster: How dare you Rio: It needed to be said Rio: there's no world in which I can make a big fuss about this Drew situation and then out us, it isn't going to work Buster: No it didn't Buster: Don't talk to me Rio: Fine