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hxhhasmysoul · 7 months

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You've frequently said that Yuuji is like a shoujo protagonist. Could you elaborate on that? I don't read shoujo and the last shoujo anime I watched was years ago so I'm not very familiar with it but I'm very fascinated as to why you think Yuuji's like a shoujo heroine. I don't think I've ever heard anyone else describe him as such.

I think I've seen some people talk about him in the context of a shoujo manga, though it might have been more in the context of him being a shoujo love interest which from what I recall of shoujo isn't really apt, Megumi with his aloof personality fits that bill more. but maybe others compared him to a protag too.

As you can see I'm also not some shoujou manga, or any manga category, expert. And I'm sure there's at least one, but more likely several, in-depth academic analyses of shoujo as a category, or what a shoujo protagonist is. And as with any such broad category there are surely exceptions, possibly even very popular ones.

With the above caveats, what I mean when I say "Yuuji is a shoujo manga heroine" is that he kinda fits the bill of what I picture when I think of a shoujo heroine. But also it's a bit of a sad joke, because, le sigh, patriarchy.

So historically, and maybe even today, not an expert, the manga categories were very strongly targeted at very particular demographics. Which any form of media like that, you of course get a lot of stereotypes baked into it. Stereotypes about what these groups may want to see which are based on societal norms and expectations for these groups. And the main manga categories are gendered and divided by age into shoujo - manga for adolescent women, josei - manga for adult women, shounen - manga for young men, seinen - manga for adult men.

From what I've gathered, the adult categories, I think especially the seinen category, are more flexible in what they allow for in terms of topics. Like adults can be interested in whatever they want, especially when it comes to men.

The categories directed at the youth feel more rigid when it comes to what they should depict. In gross simplification, girls should be exposed to relationships while boys should be exposed to action.

It's not like you don't get any action in shoujo, like you can get a lot of it, but it's framed differently than what you get in shounen and I will get to that. But the relationship will be at the forefront, and there's usually romance as an important part of the story.

You also get relationships in shounen, the already cliche power of friendship and so on, though rather no romance. It's a running joke that we get epilogues where we find out the protag who had the most dramatic and kinda romantic moments with his male friend/rival/enemy is happily married to one of the girls that cheered on him from the sidelines. Heteronormativity needs to be maintained. It's also a cliche that any romance that happens in shounen is played for laughs and kinda cringe, or downright laced with some really creepy shit like pedophilia (older women taking interest in young boys usually but it's "just a joke" or even depicted as cool) or incel shit (like male characters harassing and stalking female characters).

Gege doesn't do any of that, and will be very good about it if they stay on course and not make the "and they were all heterosexual" epilogue. I wrote a more detailed post about it, one that also delves into a lot of gender stuff, though it's a bit of a questionable one due to its origins and it's a bit old, etc. etc., proceed with caution if you choose to check it out. (A side note too, Hell's Paradise is quite interesting with it's premise of the protag loving his wife even if it's not executed well. Generally Kaku tries a lot of interesting things, though doesn't always manage to stick the landing).

A shoujo heroine often isn't the brightest when it comes to school stuff, or strongest in terms of physical strength, if there's magic involved her powers usually don't seem to be the most devastating in their effects. What she will usually have is an ability to deliver moments of very high vulnerability. She will also usually have a huge heart and ability to bring people together. These 3 combined is how she usually will win fights. A shounen character often can also have the last two, but usually the vulnerability he delivers is a bit one note, sometimes feels almost performative with the "I'm not strong enough". (also I'm sure that there a plenty of shoujo that also fail these). And the shounen character uses his vulnerability moment to charge the final attack while a shoujo heroine can win just through being vulnerable. (There's obviously shounen which has done this too, like categories this big will have everything, Killua wins with Palm through showing vulnerability, he does that with Illumi too.)

You might already see where I'm going with this.

Yuuji is built around his very strong humanity, his compassion. It's in his name. He is extremely good at delivering moments of devastating vulnerability, moments that are not power ups for him at all. He's also built around his loneliness and desire for connection, for being surrounded by people. He's very people oriented, has a warm personality and brings people together. He's capable of deep compassion and love. He has very high emotional intelligence. And he's capable of winning a fight through that alone, actually.

I started to call him a shoujo heroine after the Junpei battle, because he literally wins that by making himself vulnerable in front of Junpei and talking Junpei down. That's why what happens next is all the more devastating. He makes himself vulnerable in front of Higuruma.

If you apply shounen logic to JJK you get all those fans shitting on Yuuji because he's not the strongest. Because he doesn't have flashy powers like Gojou or Sukuna or Megumi. The cold takes like: "he loses several battles, omg he's not really the protagonist", or "he doesn't get amazing power ups", or "he's not driven to be the strongest, he's not proactive in achieving some lofty goals, climbing to the top of the hierarchy", etc. etc. blah, blah.

However if you apply a more shoujo logic to JJK, Yuuji is the clear and only protagonist. He's the heart of the story, he's the most people-oriented, relationship-oriented, vulnerable character. People are drawn to his warmth, not his power (Toudou's fanfiction about Yuuji is about Yuuji being his emotional support, about Yuuji letting Toudou be vulnerable together!).

All of the themes of the story converge onto him. He's emotionally tied to both major villains, and to their victims. His subtle personal, highly vulnerable goal, screams shoujo manga.

That's why I call him a shoujo heroine.

Why I say this is all a bit of a sad joke. While everything I wrote above, I stand by with my full conviction, the joke is that it all hinges on buying into patriarchy.

The division between shounen and shoujo is based on the societal norms for the gender binary. The idea that girls should like certain things, should behave a certain way... boys should like other things, behave in a different way etc. etc. In a system like that even personality traits are gendered. Men are stoic, calm, collected, decisive, forward, intellectual, high-minded, practical, project strength, they should feel comfortable taking up space blah blah. Women are emotional, fragile, caring, supportive, they don't care about practicality but are interested in the trivial and pretty things, they should be shy and quiet, feel good in the background, blah blah blah.

One of the principal traits of a shoujo and shounen protagonists is their gender. Because girls should read about girls and boys should read about boys.

This is why it's a bit of a sad joke, because calling Yuuji a shoujo heroine feels a bit like calling him a girl. And while I do it with love, and with my highly internally processed views on gender, I do it in public. I do it on this website where so many people perform a lot of feminism or queer activism in ways that are full of internalised misogyny and queerphobia of various stripes. In a patriarchal society calling a boy a girl is an insult, it's a form of devaluing him because girls are seen as less than. It's implying that he's failing at being a man. And Yuuji gets a lot of shit from the fandom for not being strong enough, for failing as a shounen protag. For failing to be that idealised, aspirational version of a boy. One that can overcome anything, one that's always strong, that is always driven.

I will quote here what I wrote about Yuuji in the post I linked above not to repeat myself:

"Yuuji is written more like a female character than a male one if we take the gender stereotypes into consideration, especially those that pervade the shounen genre. He’s built around compassion, cooperation and orienting himself towards others. These are stereotypically female coded traits. He doesn’t have a self aggrandising goal like so many shounen protagonists. His goal is intimate, it’s about his emotional needs. I forgot to mention that Yuuji is quite passive compared to a typical shounen protag. He rarely takes action on his own and only when the situation really forces him to do it. He’s reactive not proactive. He has this goal of eating all fingers but he waits for instructions, follows them. He doesn’t go out in the world seeking out the fingers. Same goes for his missions to kill curses. The reality had to hurt him real bad for him to become more active and still even now he falls in line, he’s not driven in the way shounen protags usually are. Passivity is associated with the concpet yin, which is also associated with femininity. Why do I mention this concept? Because jujutsu sorceres are kinda the successors of onmyōji, or more literally the yin-and-yang masters. He doesn’t have much of an ego. He knows he’s good at fighting but he’s not arrogant about it like Gojou or Sukuna are. He’s tactile, he has an open body language. His best friend is Nobara. The way they are close is astounding. All their idiot to idiot moments. All their physical contact. The way they complement each other while fighting. The way Nobara can just text Yuuji to come and he does. Nobara being gone really affects Yuuji deeply, to the point where he uncharacteristically lashed out at Hana. And it’s completely not sexual or romantic. Compared to that his friendship with Megumi is pretty shit and not really close. He’s been very clearly socialised as a boy in a pretty misogynist society on shit like shounen manga. He has “a type” when it comes to girls, that he can invoke instantly because that’s how young boys are socialised, it’s expected of them. And yet that type is just an aesthetic preference. It’s not really what he’d even want from a potential girlfriend. He treats women like people. Naturally, instinctively not in the fake “nice guy” way. He’s such a well rounded role model of young masculinity. He is that because Gege doesn’t build him on the stereotypes of what masculinity should be according to the conservative patriarchal viewpoint. Yuuji is a human who’s entitled to emotions, who’s not a total victim of his socialisation, who doesn’t strive to live up to societal expectations. No status quo, the mantra of JJK."

In a world not steeped through with patriarchy this wouldn't matter. In a world without such rigid standards as to what is masculine and what is feminine, calling Yuuji a shoujo manga heroine wouldn't stand out. Because it wouldn't feel like a thing. Yuuji wouldn't draw anyone's disappointment or ire. There wouldn't be a feeling of him crossing gender norms because the norms either wouldn't exist or would've been very very wide and flexible.

_____

tldr: Yuuji is a shoujo manga heroine because he also has pink hair and is capable of extreme cuteness, and have you seen him holding the bunny so adorably? Very Usagi coded.

#answering asks #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #yuji itadori #yuuji itadori #jjk yuuji #itadori yuuji #my ramblings

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youllallriseintheink · 2 years

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What 5 characters taught you something and what was it?

Great question!

1. Rarity (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Rarity taught me that femininity can be powerful.

I discovered My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic when I was 13 years old and babysitting. I was still in my internalized misogyny “not like other girls” phase, and I was not real happy with myself for falling in love with a world of cutesy pastel ponies. I tried to turn myself off of it by watching episodes with the girliest character in the cast, but here’s the thing: Rarity is awesome. She’s a mature, professional woman who’s brimming with confidence and assertiveness, she’s talented and passionate about her art, and she can kick ass, too. Yes, they make jokes at her expense, but overall, her femininity is not presented as demeaning. So, she kind of helped me to embrace my feminine side without shame.

I’m really glad that there are several characters like Rarity in modern media. Another example would be Pearl from Steven Universe. She’s a tidy, quiet, nurturing person, and she’s also a great technician and swordswoman and a war veteran, and those aren’t presented as contradictory. I like that.

2. Adora (She-Ra: Princesses of Power)

Adora taught me that in writing, sometimes the best way to do something that goes against the grain is to not acknowledge that you’re doing it at all. She also taught me that you can go against the grain a lot more than I thought and look good doing it.

I love how Adora is handled. Love it. She’s a heroine that gets all the trappings of a male superhero. She never experiences any sexism or anyone questioning her leadership or strength due to her gender, and she’s adored by the people she protects for her strength and heroism. She has her struggles and flaws to be sure, but they aren’t related to gender. The idea of a woman being heroic is not the least bit subversive or unfeminine in-universe.

Similarly, Adora being a lesbian is treated as the most normal thing in the world. They aren’t making a point about same-gender love being okay (they’re not afraid to show that Adora’s relationship with Catra is extremely fraught and dramatic because they’re on opposite sides of a war), it just is. They let Adora have a silly schoolgirl crush on a muscled hunk of a woman and make jokes at her expense just as one would a straight girl with a hopeless crush. It’s treated as though it couldn’t be anything but normal. I just like that.

I've always wanted to write a female hero who is like Isaac Clarke, who is not sexualized, is respected as a leader without their gender ever coming up, who is overpowered and fears their own power, and who feels a responsibility to protect those close to them and is devastated when they can’t. I used to think it would bend too many gender-related standards at once. Now, I’m about to write that heroine in my next story. I’m glad that she taught me that the “rules” are much more flexible than I thought, if they even have to be followed at all.

3. Henry Stein and Isaac Clarke (Bendy and the Ink Machine, the Dead Space trilogy)

Henry Stein and Isaac Clarke taught me what I idolize. Isaac in particular taught me that being damaged or complicated doesn’t devalue you as a person.

Let me get this clear right off the bat: I never devalued anyone else for being complicated- I was just struggling with finding out some stuff about myself.

These two are kind of the horror game protagonists of the most unstable period in my life. Dead Space became my comfort game after I moved away for university. To keep things short, I had a lot of difficulties adjusting and found out a lot about myself in a short time-span that were hard to come to terms with. Dead Space allowed me to go back to a familiar place, do something I knew how to do, and be someone I saw as stable and uncomplicated. After I finished Dead Space, I moved on to Bendy and the Ink Machine, and another older man who seemed brave, stable and uncomplicated. If Isaac was this action hero paragon of bravery, toughness, and resilience, Henry was the more realistic counterpart who probably had four kids and would make a good Scout Leader and whatnot- someone you could actually meet or be.

Here’s the thing, though: I realized eventually that Isaac isn’t uncomplicated in the slightest. He’s the polar opposite of uncomplicated. He has PTSD. He’s been mind-controlled by an alien artifact, and it left him with permanent neurological differences. He’s gone through and even done terrible things because he had to. Henry, similarly, will be forced to deal with all kinds of demons if he makes it out of the sketch dimension. And that doesn’t change anything about them. I have plenty of issues with Isaac’s characterization in Dead Space 3, but none of his complicatedness keeps him from being a leader and showing the power and resilience I idolize him for. I’d like to think that Henry could get back to being himself, too.

I’ll say it outright: I want to be Henry one day. I want to be serene, stable, resilient, and at peace with myself. I want to have a family and be reliable to them, and have a worthwhile career. I want to be respectable and good with people. Almost all Henries in this fandom are like that- including ones that aren’t cishetallo, neurotypical, etc. I just like that.

4. Jack Fain and Sammy Lawrence (Bendy and the Ink Machine)

Can my own versions of characters count? Well, I hope they can. These two taught me that even if you don’t see your worth, there’s someone who does.

This is something I’ve thought of a lot. Jack is pretty insecure and feels somewhat inferior to Sammy because of Sammy’s beauty, prodigal talent, confidence, and ability to garner attention. I wonder if he knows that Sammy also wishes he were like Jack- that he could connect with people so easily and handle stresses without freaking out. I wonder how Jack would react to that if he found out. I just like these two a lot- they fit together like two puzzle pieces.

5. Entrapta (She-ra and the Princesses of Power)

Entrapta taught me the power of good representation.

I’ll be honest, when I first saw Entrapta, I didn’t think I’d be able to stand her. I actually came to love her, though. I love her quirkiness and childlike enthusiasm. I love how she actually does care about people even though she isn’t always good at it. I like that she’s prone to feeling rejected because she knows she’s bad with people. I love her loyalty to those who accept her, and of course, I love her little arc with Hordak.

I feel like I’m a bit like Entrapta. She also made me realize that I had never in my life seen a female autistic character before, or, honestly, just any positive representation of autism. Granted, I wasn’t looking for one and probably would have actively avoided it if anything (until about two years ago, I pretty much just associated my autism with painful things and didn’t want to be reminded of it), so it’s partly my fault, but still, I’m really glad that Entrapta exists.

#creepyalienghost #thanks for the ask #my little pony #she ra spop #bendy and the ink machine #dead space #rarity #henry stein #isaac clarke #jack fain #sammy lawrence #entrapta

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reganisdefinitelyprobablyhuman · 9 months

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When an Episode about a French Gorilla and a Brain in a Robot Pulls at the Heartstring (MAWS episode 6 review)

Following the dramatic and controversial events of episode 5, the next episode “My Adventures with Mad Science” has been highly anticipated. With grievances still between them, mostly from Lois, Clark and Lois team up to search for a missing Jimmy. Meanwhile, Jimmy has been kidnapped and about to be executed by Monsieur Mallah, the superintelligent French Gorilla and his German robot lover, The Brain. However, despite their initial suspicions he is a spy that will bring danger, Jimmy strikes an unexpected friendship with the Mallah, who is delighted to show an excited and fascinated Jimmy around his lab, which reveals the world’s wild conspiracies are real.

The continuation of the next storyline is strong. I like how they further developed Lois’ character and her shaken trust. On one hand, it’s important for Lois to understand that Clark hiding his secret identity is valid, yet it’s also valid that she would question everything, including Clark’s feelings towards her. This revelation about Lois’ thought process adds more depth to her character and makes sense considering her past with her father, a deceptive figure in her life. Nevertheless, he reaffirms his feelings through his act of bravery where he wasn’t sure if he was bulletproof but knew she wasn’t.

This act of bravery also gave a lot of audience the fanserve of shirtless Clark, which further reinforces how MAWS has a prominent female gaze. The camera briefly gawking at Clarks’ abs and chest is a nice change after the several instances male gaze in superhero media, and in this case it's not even that gratuitous.

This episode further gives justice to Jimmy. While I haven’t read a lot of superhero media, I am aware that Jimmy Olsen has been a more minor character compared to Lois and Clark. In this episode, they give him more development by addressing his third-wheel status among the three. Furthermore, this episode proves he isn’t just a conspiracist, he’s a competent one. The narrative fills a plot hole where one would question how would a conspiratorial person NOT pick up his friend as a superhero alien, and the answer is that he notices, like, immediately. In a fun twist some fans predicted, Jimmy knew about Clark’s Superman identity all along, yet his decision to wait for Clark to reveal himself lends further dimensions to his character. He could’ve used Clark’s powers as real proof for his Flamebird project, but his friend was far more important to him.

Mallah and the Brain are also super wholesome. Their sweet desire to find a place where they can love serves as a clear allegory to queer relationships, which is then extended to Clark’s identity as reconciles with his feelings of shame and confusion. Furthermore, because of said identity, he is seen as dangerous and hunted down. Another strong choice in terms of representation is that the couple received their happy ending. I saw some people predict the Brian and Mallah would have had to sacrifice themselves to save the main cast during the episode’s climax. However, they didn’t fall into any literal or literary black holes and stepped into (hopefully) a better world.

One moment I hoped for but didn’t see (yet?) is for Lois to recognize and apologize for her entitlement to people’s secrets. In the final scene, she still demands that Jimmy should’ve informed her about Clark. However, this episode was filled with other great moments like uncovering Clark’s fears about how people will perceive as an alien. I don't mind that this part was resolved. Because Lois’ relentless and flawed hunt for truth is such a major character trait, I think her realizing the boundaries pursuing the truth should be a more detailed arc. I think there could be one storyline where Lois witnesses how secrets can be a form of protection, and reveals could do more harm than good.

The final scene does well to heighten the threat. The General (Lane) is on their tails with a now vengeful Ivo on his side. The ending fills me with dread of what is in store for characters later on but it seems with the next episode it will take a lighthearted break before the finale of the season.

#my adventures with superman #lois lane #clark kent #superman #jimmy olsen #episode review #episode 6 spoilers

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gaildaley · 30 days

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WHAT IS YOUR WRITING GENRE?

Before we get started with the descriptive genres we need to get familiar with some abbreviations used in book descriptions.

Abbreviations Used In Book Descriptions

I actually thought I was familiar with all the abbreviations used in book descriptions until I found this list. Some of these things I’ve never heard of before! They are often used by reviewers and some writers in book descriptions, so I think it behooves ignorant writers like me to at least know what they are.

PNR is the acronym typically used for paranormal romance: Shifters and vampires and mermaids and so much more. Shifters are people able to become various animals. Vampires are simply vampires. It depends on the writer whether they are good or bad. The one thing most of them seem to have in common is drinking blood or sometimes life essence. A few writers of fantasy like Ilona Andrews (husband and wife writing team) treated them as another species (theirs don’t drink blood).

PWF Paranormal Women’s Fiction. These books will have adventure, passion, and LIFE. And they’ll kick ass, just like all our books already do! We are not inventing books with 40+ heroines. We are hoping to define a place for them amongst other genres.

OTP: One True Pairing (that couple that you will root for till the end of time) 

NOTP: (Pronounced No-TP) Basically the opposite of an OTP. You do not want this couple together!

BROTP/Bromance: A friendship (between guys) that you adore!

Ship: If you ship a couple, it means that you want them to get together (comes from the word “relationship”). 

HEA: Happily Ever After 

Book Boyfriend/Girlfriend: The fictional boy (or girl) you only wishcould be your real-life love. 

Insta-love/Insta-lust: The phenomenon that happens all too often in books when the couple meets and instantly falls in love (or, sometimes, lust). 

Love Triangle: When the main character can’t decide between two romantic partners—most frustrating when this is drawn out for multiple books in a series. 

Slash Fiction: A type of fan fiction where two same-sex characters are paired together (often guys). Sometimes slash can just refer to the imagined pairing of two same-sex characters (not necessarily within fan fiction). 

OMYM/OWYM: Older man, younger woman/Older woman, younger man

M/M Male/male romance

F/F female/female romance

RH reverse harem - typically one woman several men

MC: Main character (book is told from their POV). 

POV: Point of view (the perspective that the book is told from). 

POC/BIPOC: People of color/Black, Indigenous, and people of color 

Daphne: A female character who has to be rescued all the time (in reference to Daphne from Scooby Doo) 

Mary Sue: A character who is too perfect and/or too good which, strangely. 

Manic Pixie Dream Girl: A type of female character depicted as vivacious and appealingly quirky, whose main purpose within the narrative is to inspire a greater appreciation for life in a male protagonist. 

Twist: An unexpected event in a book—typically one that changes the direction of the plot or characters dramatically.

Info-Dump: When the author gives you lots of background information all at once via narration or dialogue. 

Bechdel Test: a set of criteria used as a test to evaluate a work of fiction (such as a film) on the basis of its inclusion and representation of female characters. the term was popularized by American Cartoonist Alison Bechdel so it was named after her. Alison Bechdel never claimed to be the originator of the test. In fact, she never gave it a name. She credited her friend Liz Wallace for the idea, but also the work of author Virginia Woolf in her essay “A Room of One’s Own”. 

Unreliable Narrator: A narrator whose POV is not trustworthy (could be due to lying, misinformation on the part of the MC, mental health or memory issues, etc.).

GT Agent: a person who acts on behalf of an author, negotiating with publishers and promoters.

Alpha Reader The first reader, usually a non-professional, who provides feedback on a writer’s work.

ANT Antagonist: the adversary or competitor to the hero/protagonist of any story.

APS Associated Press Stylebook: a writer’s and journalist’s reference manual for rules on grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, abbreviations, and word and numeral usage.

ARC Advance Reader Copy: free copy of a book given by a publisher to media, librarians, or other readers in advance of official publication.

ASIN Amazon Standard Identification Number: Amazon’s unique identifier for each book they sell.

AU Alternate universe: a fictional universe in which recognizable details are changed in order to create the story.

Beta Reader A reader, usually non-professional, who provides feedback on a book after a writer has made revisions inspired by alpha readers.

BG Bad guy: the Freddy Krueger, Lord Voldemort, or Darth Vader of your narrative.

BS Backstory: history or background that occurs before the current events of a story.

Character Arc The inner journey and transformation in personality of a character between the beginning and the end of a story.

CMOS Chicago Manual of Style: a writer’s and editor’s reference manual for grammar usage, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, abbreviations, and word and numeral usage.

Cont Contemporary (genre): a genre that, although fictional, depicts realistic events that could happen in today’s society. An example: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

CP Critique Partner: a writer who provides feedback on a fellow writer’s work.

Drabble One hundred words that tell a story. Drabbles, because of their brevity, demand strong verbs, zero redundancies, and minimal showing. They usually require more time to write than longer stories.

F & SF Fantasy And Science Fiction (genre): make-believe worlds and characters combined with narrative that is based on scientific principles. Think Star Wars by George Lucas, et al.

FF Flash Fiction: very short fiction, usually containing fewer than 1000 words.

FN/Fant Fantasy (genre): stories about mythical worlds often populated by magical creatures. Example: Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling.

GMC Goal, motivation, conflict: important elements for engaging stories.

GN Graphic Novel (genre): stories that are told using a combination of graphic panels and text. Although a graphic novel may be similar to a comic book in format, it usually encompasses an intriguing plot with character growth. Example: the Logan’s Run graphic novels by William F. Nolan, et al.

HC Hardcover

Hook An element that is unique to a story. Always memorable, it may also be controversial.

HR Horror (genre): frightening stories that often include elements of fantasy. Examples: Children of the Corn by Stephen King and The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe.

Indie An independent writer who maintains creative control and who is not associated with a major publisher.

Juv Juvenile (audience/genre): usually geared to children under twelve years of age. Example: Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White.

LI Love interest

Logline A brief summary, usually one sentence, that presents the main conflict or storyline, often combined with a hook to stimulate the interest of readers.

LOILetter Of Introduction

#writinggenre #indie #GMC #JUV #FF #ARC

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exovapor · 3 years

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I'm OBSESSED with your writing. Can you try.. Maybe, Donnie being a filthy boy being an 'stalker-ish' of his long time crush? Be checks their FB for new posts, saves every picture of them he finds? He doesn't mean to be a creep, feels guilty, but just doesn't know how to ask for more than friendship?

Good afternoon Anon. Here is my short story in relation to your ask.

I wasn't sure where you wanted me to take this, so I had to do a bit of guessing on my part. I hope this something like you were wanting.

I will admit that this ask was a bit of a struggle for me, not knowing a clear direction to take it outcome made me a little unsure of my writing and guessing abilities LOL. However, I will admit to crying along with the characters in this story more than once.

Thanks again for the ask and the initial compliment. I hope to continue to earn your favor in future posts.

· Stalker [noun]: 1a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention. 2a person who hunts game stealthily.

· Donnie stared at the definition on his one of his monitor screens while his various other screens were busy flashing receipts of files downloaded, text trail streams from your phone, notices of any social media post/update/like/heart/emoji, a GPS line grid of your routes today (overlayed over the routes you’d taken previously), and data search hits of anything and everything that pertained to you.

· At this point, the boy had literally every picture you had ever posted, anywhere, of yourself. In fact, he had all the pictures that other people posted of you in them. He had even gone through the effort of designing a face recognition program that picks you out of the background of total strangers’ pictures and, yeah, he had those in a file too.

· He has special file folders that compile things that you like, things you don’t like, things that make you happy, things that make you sad. He is your own personal Pinterest and you didn’t even know it… and maybe that is the part that keeps bothering him so much.

· He sits staring at that word and definition and chewing his bottom lip. True, he knows the word and the meaning, but he needed to LOOK at it, analyze it, mull it over in his guilt ridden brain.

· He just KNEW the word Stalker couldn’t apply to him.

· After all, he isn’t harassing or persecuting you, you don’t know! So, it isn’t necessarily ‘unwanted attention’. It is just…unknown attention.

· Stealthily, hmmmm, did that part apply to him? Well, He isn’t EXACTLY being stealthy.

· If you knew about technology like him, then you would probably see his programs running on your devices and be alerted to his activities. AND, if you shared his love and view of technology, then you would probably be more understanding of his activities and not consider them stealthy…just data mining. In fact, you might applaud him.

· ‘Ok, that was taking it a bit too far’, Donnie thinks to himself and he feels a band tighten and squeeze around his infatuated heart.

· He is almost certain that you would be shocked to learn of his extra curricular activities and how they revolve around every aspect of you.

· Regardless of how he tried to spin the truth and wiggle out of the definition of stalker, Donnie still felt guilty for invading your privacy. However, he honestly couldn’t help himself…at least not anymore.

· He has fought the urge, the nagging thoughts and the burning need, to know more about you for what seemed like an eternity.

· Listen to him, he is starting to sound dramatic like Mikey! What is his turning into? He is losing his rational edge!

· To be accurate, it hasn’t been an eternity. In fact, he has known you 1 year, 36 days, 14 hours, 11 minutes, and 23 seconds to be exact. However, you started occupying space in his mind 2 minutes into meeting you and your claim over his mind has grown exponentially over time.

· You were quiet and reserved during that first meeting, so there wasn’t much to go on. It started as a simple visual interest with a thought of ‘Oh. She’s pretty’.

· However, then you started talking and that changed everything.

· You opened up more and more each time you hung out with their little group, revealing layers and layers of interests and personality. You were fascinating…and that’s when his thoughts about you really started to snowball and spiral out of control.

· You went from being a simple pretty face to being a walking embodiment of everything he seriously ever dreamed of having in a mate.

· Early on, there were three sticking points that really made Donnie’s feelings problematic. 1. He was a nearly seven foot tall walking talking turtle and you weren’t. 2. You had a boyfriend that you were deeply in love with and adored. 3. Donnie was too insecure about #1 and how you felt about inter-species dating to let you know that you had started to OWN his heart.

· Now, thanks to his surveillance, there were only two sticking points….#1 and #3.

· He still remembers the feelings of that day, 44 days ago, when the blip of information popped up on this screen alerting him to the fact that your boyfriend was starting to stray.

· Donnie had severely conflicting feelings bombard him at once and it was overwhelming.

· The initial knee jerk reaction was elation, one of the problems blocking him from you may soon be null.

· However, the feeling of elation only lasted for a second or two before the intense anger and sadness set in. Donnie was honestly shocked at the depth of his anger, he didn’t even know he had that level of malice in him. Had he been in physical proximity to your boyfriend at that moment in time, Donnie isn’t sure that he wouldn’t have hurt your guy…or worse.

· How COULD this guy do this? WHY would he? He HAD YOU! What the heck was this guy thinking? Not only did he have you, but you thought the world of him. When you spoke about him you would smile so genuinely, your eyes would shine and gaze off into a bright imagined future. Donnie was always so jealous to watch it happen, he wondered what it would be like to be THAT GUY. And here the idiot was throwing it all away and meeting up with another girl!

· WHAT THE…(yes, this called for a curse) HELL…IS WRONG WITH HUMAN MEN?

· As the anger set root in his heart, the sadness engulfed Donnie like an all-consuming wave. He realized he was going to have to share this information with you, somehow, and that he was going to have to watch as it destroyed you.

· At first, Donnie had a plan to try and save you both from that fate. True, it would hurt him more to save your relationship, but he would rather be the one facing the pain and not you.

· He TRIED to circumvent the situation. He sent anonymous messages to your boyfriend stating that he knew about the infidelity and that he would tell you if needed. However, it didn’t seem like your boyfriend cared because he sent messages back stating Donnie could, basically, go fuck himself.

· Life had cruel sense of irony, thought Donnie, that is exactly what I do since this moron has the woman that I love.

· So, after trying for nearly two weeks to stop what was happening behind your back, Donnie had no choice but to let you in on the secret.

· Donnie couldn’t come right out and tell you that he caught your boyfriend cheating by hijacking your data streams and the data streams of those around you. So, Donnie intercepted some texts between your boyfriend and his mistress and he then sent you a text, under the guise of your boyfriend, telling you to meet him at a specified restaurant for a date.

· It had been a gut wrenching night for Donnie. He remembered watching it all play out on camera feeds from around the restaurant and street outside. He watched you dressed up in your pretty dress get out of your cab in front of the restaurant. You had such a lovely smile on your face, you must have thought you were in for a romantic evening.

· He watched as you walked inside and how the hostess got flustered and confused by a 2nd girl showing up for your boyfriend’s seated-for-two table.

· Donnie stopped breathing as your eyes found the new couple holding hands and giving each other sweet kisses across the table. Hands and lips that were supposed to be yours were touching some stranger.

· Donnie watched your smile and eyes die…the light of your inner sun go out…

· …and it killed him.

· He’s not sure who was crying the hardest, you standing there in that restaurant witnessing the scene or him back at the lair watching your world crush around you on his monitor.

· It had taken a while for you both to recover from that night.

· His brothers noticed his melancholy mood for a couple of weeks but Donnie wouldn’t tell them what was bothering him. And you stayed in your bed, refusing to face the world, for nearly as long.

· Eventually, the group began to notice your silence and absence, so April stopped by your apartment to check on you. She was the one to pull you out of bed, get you to shower and eat. She visited everyday and made sure you had someone to vent to and a shoulder to cry on.

· Donnie was glad that April could be there for you when he couldn’t. He didn’t think it was appropriate for him, a male, to be your confidant at that time. Especially since he felt so much guilt over having to be the one to expose you to that pain.

· No, he didn’t CAUSE the pain, but he did have to make you face it and he didn’t like not being able to protect you from it. You were such a rare, precious creature and watching you in pain felt like he was suffocating slowly.

· There were some points during those first few weeks that he questioned if he did the right thing, but logic told him it would have eventually come to pass with or without his involvement. It was better to rip the bandage of quickly and let you start to heal than it was to let you linger and drag out the inevitable.

· Donnie did secretly check on you every single night during patrol. And, of course, his surveillance feeds were always running. He watched from a distance as his beautiful phoenix burn down to ashes and, eventually, started to rise again.

· Now, it’s been over 3 months and you’ve begun to be more like your old self. Donnie can tell there is a silent sadness there, but you are able to laugh and smile with the group during your get togethers. And each time you two are left alone, his mind nags at him about those last two sticking points.

· Would you be at all interested in him? And HOW does he go about telling you that you have become the center of his world?

· Still staring at the monitor and the Stalker definition, Donnie sighs and rubs the bridge of his snout to release of the pressure now pushing against the inside of his head. The memories of what has happened, the emotions of what was and what is, it was all starting to be too much.

· “Bro, what’s all this?”, Mikey says standing behind Donnie’s chair, talking around a mouth full of pizza.

· “NOTHING!”, says Donnie, voice breaking from the stress of being caught. A startled Donnie quickly taps some keys on his keyboard and the screens revert back to the standard lair camera feeds.

· Mikey may look or even come off as naïve at times, but he’s no fool, he can sense that his older brother is trying to hide something. “Dude, seriously, what was that? I’ve been standing back here reading the screens. I saw Y/N’s name and that looked like her phone number on that other file…, you know the file that looks like texts messages. And why is there a plotted map of the area around her apartment, her work, and to the lair? What’s up?”, Mikey said giving a disapproving look at being thought a pushover.

· “Just standard surveillance, Mikey, nothing to worry about.”, Donnie says trying to placate Mikey’s curiosity. Donnie hates lying, especially to Mikey, but he’s feeling so guilty about being such a…(inward sigh)…stalking creep that admitting the truth is hard to do.

· Mikey stands there staring at Donnie and, as he does, Donnie begins to fidget with his computer chair armrests.

· Mikey stuffs the remnants of the pizza slice into his mouth and does his best Leo impersonation by crosses his arms and staring down at Donnie as sternly as his jolly face can achieve, “Dude, I’m not going to ask you again. You’ve been weird for months. We’ve let it go for the most part but now you are hiding things from me…from ME, dude! You and I, we’re like peanut butter and jelly, we’re ice cream and chocolate fudge, we young dudes have got to stick together. Trust me, bro, I’ve got you!”.

· Donnie stared at the floor, too ashamed to meet Mikey’s eyes any longer. He gave a heavy sigh and reluctantly started to speak, “Sorry Mike, I…I honestly don’t know what’s come over me lately. I’m doing things I never thought I would do, I’m feeling so guilty about it, but I don’t know if I can stop doing it either. I feel…lost.”.

· Mike relaxed his leader stance and leaned against one of Donnie’s lab tables, “Bro, I can tell you’ve been carrying some heavy stuff lately. You need to let it out.”

· Donnie felt the heat rise up through his body like he was suddenly being consumed by a fire and he ripped his glasses off his face and drew them down on the desk in frustration, “Mikey, I’m in love with Y/N. I have been for a while. I have been…”, Donnie hangs his head in shame, “…tracking all her digital foot prints and watching her. In fact, I’m the reason she found out that asshole boyfriend of her's cheated.”

· Mikey’s mouth drops open at Donnie’s demeanor and use of the word ‘asshole’, “Whoa, dude, why didn’t you say something earlier?”.

· Donnie can feel a stinging at the corners of his eyes, this was so embarrassing, so frustrating, so…..so many things at a once. He didn’t have a response for Mikey, all he could do was shake his head.

· Still with his head hung down and staring at the floor, Donnie starts to hear Mikey chuckle. Donnie looks up to see Mikey’s eyes on him and for some reason they are full of merriment at his painful dilemma. Donnie stares at his, normally, very considerate brother in astonishment, this isn’t like Mikey at all!

· “Mikey, I’m more than serious here, now is not the time to make fun of me. What is so funny?”, Donnie asks exasperatedly.

· Mikey shakes his bald head and claps his brother on the shoulder with his green hand, “Bro, she thinks you’re cute.”.

· “W-What?!”, Donnie stammers out.

· Mikey, still chuckling, says, “Yeah, dude, that’s why I asked WHY you didn’t say something about liking her sooner, she’s always thought you were cute. She and I talk about it all the time.”.

· Donnie just stares at his jolly brother in silence. His mind is too blown to form a sentence.

· Mikey turns to leave stating, “And by the way, dude, stop watching her like that…that’s just creepy.”.

@turtle-babe83 @tmntspidergirl @kokokatsworld @nittleboo @the-second-circle-of-shell

#tmnt donatello #tmnt #tmnt donnie #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt x reader #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2016 #tmnt fandom

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ah-ga-seven · 3 years

Text

Till’ The End Of Summer - Chapter 12

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 8K

Idol Cameos: ATEEZ Wooyoung, NCT Johnny, ITZY Ryujin & Yeji.

Genre: Angst, Fluff.

Warnings: Mentions of drug use and alcohol consumption.

A full week of radio silence from your end had passed. No matter how many times Yeonjun called or texted, begging you to listen to him; you didn’t give in. In fact, you blocked his number, his Instagram…and his Snapchat.

Soobin had also been avoiding Yeonjun, though they lived together they hadn’t seen each other and Soobin made it no secret that he was actively avoiding any type of contact with Yeonjun, even though Yeonjun had tried to reach out several times.

“Yeonjun…don’t you think you’ve had enough.” Wooyoung says snatching the liquor bottle from a highly intoxicated Yeonjun.

He scoffed, snatching back the bottle of Jack from Wooyoung's grip, taking another sip. The burn of the liquid was nothing compared to the lingering burn of his broken heart, so he didn’t hold back.

“Don’t you think you should mind your own fucking business,” he counters unnecessarily rude as he slouches on Wooyoung’s couch.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes at his friend and he checks his phone, scrolling through his socials to distract himself from the feeling of wanting to punch Yeonjun in the face.

Wooyoung was giving Yeonjun the benefit of the doubt given the vaguely explained circumstances and was acting as his babysitter; even though it was usually the other way around in their friendship.

He was a few swipes in before his orbs landed on the Instagram story of Johnny Suh. His eyes enlarged when he saw you at his party, sitting comfortably on the couch with your legs draped over Johnny’s, looking as happy as ever. Wooyoung looked at Yeonjun through hooded lids as he followed Yeonjun's gaze into nothingness while he took another sip from the bottle.

“Oh…so you don’t want me to tell you where y/n is right now? Or more importantly…who she’s with.”

“What are you on about,” Yeonjun speaks sighing as he rubs his forehead in agony.

“See for yourself.” Wooyoung replies panning the phone to Yeonjun’s line of sight as he replays the video.

Yeonjun’s eyes popped out of his skull as he observed you cozying up to that motherfucker. He snatched the phone from Wooyoung, going back and forth in his stories to try and catch another glimpse of you.

“Oh hell no,” he huffed as he got up from the couch. “I’m going.”

“Where?”

“To Johnny’s, where the fuck else.”

‘Not alone you’re not.” Wooyoung says grabbing his car keys.

When Johnny invited you to one of his iconic parties, you didn’t have to think twice. The best way of getting over Yeonjun was by getting under someone else and that was exactly what you planned to do when you first got here….but god how things took a turn.

You drank…and drank…and drank…and then you might have just accidentally joined the stoners in the garden.

You were drunk, high and high again, and nothing was registering to you anymore other than the fact that you had the munchies, even though you wanted to throw up.

“First time?” Ryujin chuckled as she wrapped her blanket around you to share her warmth.

She took the blunt from you and patted your head in comfort as she passed it to some guy named Jungwoo. You didn’t know how you got so close to her in such a short amount of time, but not having Mia around to cling to made you socialize with people you normally wouldn’t hang with.

“No, but I’ve…never combined the two.”

“Yeah, rule number one, don’t do that unless you’re a veteran,” she states.

“I need to lie down otherwise I’ll hurl," you whine, and you weren't even kidding.

“Oh, shit y/n, let’s go somewhere quiet then, quick.” Ryujin got up and took your hand, leading you to the stairs as quickly as she could in hopes you would stay conscious throughout. Your legs were on automatic pilot, but you also knew it wasn’t going to take long before they would give out on you.

Johnny saw how Ryujin basically dragged you up the stairs and frowned, leaving in the middle of a heated Uno game to check on you. He sprinted up the stairs and hooked his arm around your waist as he put your arm around his neck for support, helping you up the remaining steps.

“Are we okay here?” he asked looking from you to Ryujin. “Uh, she mixed weed with alcohol and is having a bad reaction.” Ryujin snickered.

You couldn’t do anything other than look up at Johnny with googly eyes, giggling at him. Your cute action made him laugh in response and he leads both you and Ryujin to his bedroom without a word.

“She can sleep it off here.” Johnny says as he opens the door to his room, gently placing you on the bed.

Your limbs hit the off switch as your body made contact with the bed. Everything was spinning and all you could do was giggle to yourself, which made Johnny and Ryujin laugh at your antics once again.

Ryujin pulled the covers over you before she sat down on the foot end of Johnny’s bed, she watched him stare at you and sighed.

“Thanks for letting her stay here.”

“Mi casa is Suh casa” Johnny says giving Ryujin and yourself a wink and you scoff. “You didn’t just make that lame joke,” you judge him even in your state and he chuckled, crouching down before you to pet your head.

“How about you sleep off your attitude,” he says with a smirk, and you just stick your tongue out as you snuggle your cheek into the pillow; closing your eyes to doze off.

In the meantime, Yeonjun and Wooyoung had found their way to Johnny’s home. Yeonjun had been ringing the doorbell for the past minute and was slowly losing his sanity while Wooyoung waited patiently beside him.

“Just call someone you know in there. They probably can’t hear because of the music.” Wooyoung tries to explain, but Yeonjun didn’t listen and switched from ringing the doorbell to knocking on the door.

Wooyoung groaned at his stubbornness and just like that the door opened with a dramatic swing, and in the door opening was no one other than Hwang Yeji.

“I thought they came to collect the trash at noon,” she says deadpanning Yeonjun in the eye as soon as her gaze landed on him.

Yeonjun groaned in annoyance and held on to Wooyoung for life support. “Very fucking funny Yeji, your humor is just as dry as your p-…you can finish that sentence yourself. Would you tell me where my girlfriend is?”

Wooyoung’s eyes widened at his mean comment and covered Yeonjun’s mouth with his hand. “He had a lot to drink,” Wooyoung says as Yeonjun takes Woo’s hand from his mouth aggressively.

Yeji ignored Wooyoung’s attempt to salvage the damage and averted her attention back to Yeonjun.

“Girlfriend? Do you mean y/n? The fact that she decided to date you is sad.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’d be salty too if I were you. You don’t have to act as if you weren’t screaming my name a few months ago.”

“Ok, Yeonjun. Seriously, shut up.” Wooyoung pushes Yeonjun past Yeji through the door opening before Yeji would decide to swing at him, pulling him aside below the staircase.

“Dude what the fuck.” Wooyoung says under his breath. Yeonjun just shrugged, grabbing the first freshmen that passed by them by their collar, pulling the poor boy closer so he could ask him about your whereabouts.

“Hey, dwarf. Have you seen a girl with (a description of your physical appearance.) probably shitfaced drunk, possibly accompanied by Johnny Suh.”

The kid was baked as fuck, his eyes were red and hanging low. He just chuckled looking back and forth from Yeonjun to Wooyoung “Dude there was a girl just like that flashing her titties on the patio a minute ago. Maybe the show is still going man, hurry.”

“What now!?” Yeonjun let go of the younger boy and he just waddled off as if nothing happened, leaving him in a more distressed state than ever.

You wouldn’t do that? Right? “That can’t be y/n,” Wooyoung says scratching the back of his head. “Let’s just ask around some more.”

And so they did. They ended up in the garden where the smell of pot filled their nostrils after they skimmed every room on the ground floor, but it was to no avail. They decided to go up the stairs, something Yeonjun wished he didn’t have to do because if you were upstairs that could mean one of two not so great things.

They searched through the halls first and Wooyoung's eyes land on Johnny closing the door behind him in a room down the hall. Wooyoung grabbed Yeonjun by the shoulder, motioning him to look at what he was seeing.

When Yeonjun’s eyes landed on Johnny it took about 0,003 seconds for him to take long strides into his direction. Wooyoung did his best to keep up with Mr long legs, so he had to jog after Yeonjun to keep up as he felt the hairs in his neck rise in anticipation of the inevitable confrontation between two alpha males.

“Hey man, have you seen my girlfriend?” Yeonjun says as he approaches the senior.

“And who might that be?” Johnny says turning around. He wasn’t even a wee-bit surprised that Yeonjun showed up here. He was always wherever you were. Luckily for Johnny he wasn’t interested in having sex with you anymore. The two of you really hit it off as friends, and he didn’t wanna ruin it, but god…Yeonjun did get under his skin a little too much for his liking.

“Don’t act dumb, where’s y/n.”

Johnny sucks his teeth in annoyance and decided to taunt Yeonjun for challenging him like that. “She’s in my bed,” Johnny says as his lips curl up into a smile and before he knew it Yeonjun grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“Let go.” Johnny threatens through his teeth, towering over Yeonjun with the few inches of height he had over Yeonjun, but he didn’t budge.

Wooyoung inhales sharply, him being an average of 10 centimeters shorter than the both of them didn’t help with intervening. So he bent his knees to wiggle between them from below, pulling them away from each other.

“Yeonjun’s drunk. Don’t mind him” Wooyoung chuckled nervously, fixing Johnny’s shirt.

Yeonjun was seething at this point. “If you would’ve just let me explain first…god you really need to work on your temper. y/n deserves better than a hothead like you.”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Yeonjun replies under his breath as he points his finger in Johnny’s face.

Johnny rolled his eyes in response, stepping aside.

“She’s in there with Ryujin. She got drunk and smoked weed she’s not having the best reaction so she’s asleep right now. She’s fine. Go home.”

“I’m not going anywhere without her.” Yeonjun huffs.

“Well, then you can sleep on the floor cause you’re not taking her anywhere either.” Johnny took a step closer to Yeonjun again with Wooyoung still between them and at this point, Wooyoung didn’t know what else to do other than barge into Johnny’s room to cut the tension

Wooyoung had hoped that if Yeonjun saw you, his anger would subside; so he took the chance of getting punched in the face by Johnny for the greater good.

He barged through the door, startling Ryujin who was facetiming Beomgyu.

“Look she really is asleep, fully clothed. Now, can we leave dude? I think we’ve caused enough trouble.” Wooyoung says in a whisper pointing to your sleeping form.

Ryujin’s eyes widened when her eyes landed on the three men in front of her. “Is that Yeonjun hyung?” Gyu’s voice sounded from the speaker and Ryujin quickly apologized to him, ending the phone call after promising to call back later.

Yeonjun softened immediately. He really didn’t know how he would feel when he saw you, but since the last time he saw you was in your apartment that day; he froze.

He couldn’t help but think that the reason you turned to drugs and alcohol to subside the pain was because of him, and suddenly sadness and guilt wash over him once again.

Johnny watched Yeonjun like a hawk, and noticed how his icy demeanor melted at the sight of you. He wasn’t just going to let Yeonjun take you home, you would need to consent to it, even in your state.

Yeonjun crouched down before you, moving a strand of your hair out of your face, completely entranced by you. He forgot the presence of the other people in the room and caressed your cheek with his thumb lightly.

He missed you.

“Y/n…” his voice was clear; he was calling out for you but you had no clue if It was a dream or real life.

You slowly found the strength to open your eyes. You blink a couple of times before your vision went from blurry to…somewhat less blurry, and in a split second, you recognize who’s in front of you by the shape of his lips alone.

“Are you okay?” Yeonjun asked sweetly.

Wooyoung couldn’t help but be dumbfounded at Yeonjun’s sudden change of heart. The stubborn, mean, and aggressive Yeonjun was completely replaced by a soft and loving one in the blink of an eye.

"Bipolar much." he whispered, making Johnny and Ryujin chuckle in response.

Wooyoung gave Johnny a look which he just shrugged at, and Ryujin basically melted thinking that Yeonjun came over to be your knight in shining armor, but you know, she didn’t know the full story.

You forgot you were mad at him because it truly felt like you were dreaming and when Yeonjun asked you if you wanted to go home, you just nodded as you dozed off again.

Well…There’s your consent.

Reluctantly, Johnny let Yeonjun take you with him. He understood he had no place in keeping you here if you really were Yeonjun’s girlfriend, so he complied. Keeping an eye on you as Yeonjun carried you to Wooyoung's car.

“Tell her to text me when she wakes up.” Johnny says with his arms crossed, watching as Yeonjun carefully places you in the backseat.

“Yeah, no.” Yeonjun says as he fastens your seatbelt for you.

Johnny shook his head and went back inside, even though Yeonjun was the biggest dick in Johnny’s eyes; it was evident that he cared about you and that thought alone was the only reason he let Yeonjun take you with him. He knew you'd be safe, and that's all that mattered to him.

Wooyoung got into the drivers’ seat, being the only sober one of the bunch, and waited for Yeonjun to take a seat too.

The drive was rather quiet. Yeonjun kept looking back at you to check if you were okay and Wooyoung noticed as he checked his mirrors.

“You really love her don’t you.” Wooyoung asks looking at his friend.

“I do.”

“I don’t know what you did, and I’m assuming you did something.” Wooyoung says clicking his tongue before he continues. “But fix it.”

“I’m trying.” Yeonjun sighs staring out the window.

“Trying how?” Wooyoung asks checking his mirrors. He noticed a black BMW trailing closely behind them with no one other car on the streets and frowned, but decided to keep his eyes on the road ahead of him.

“I went to therapy yesterday.”

“Therapy?”

“Yeah…”

“Well…seeing you tonight you clearly need some extra sessions.”

Yeonjun’s head snapped into Wooyoung direction but when he noticed the playful look in his eyes all he could do was laugh with him.

Wooyoung checked his mirrors after he took a left to your house and noticed how the black BMW was still trailing behind him. His smile faltered and he nudged Yeonjun.

“Dude…I think we’re being followed…” Wooyoung says nodding to his rear-view mirror.

“What?” Yeonjun asks as he looks in the mirror, followed by a look over his shoulder.

“Am I the drunk one, or are you?” Yeonjun chuckles relaxing in his seat.

Wooyoung shrugged, deciding to let it go, and just as he was about to turn the corner to your apartment building, the black BMW took the opposite turn, making Wooyoung relax in his seat again.

Yeonjun kept staring at you in the reflection of the window. He didn’t know how you would react the next morning so he decided he wouldn’t stick around to find out.

After he carried you inside of your apartment, he set you down on your bed with the help of Wooyoung opening every door for him. Being in here felt different than before. Your house was messier than usual, and it wasn't like he could just crawl in bed next to you to hold you as you slept off your intoxicated state.

He changed you into clean clothes and even got rid of your false eyelashes for you. You were still asleep but you did whine a few times before he was able to tuck you in. He sighed, kissing your forehead, and wrote you a small note. Leaving it on your bedside table before he went back to the living room, seeing Wooyoung patiently wait for him so the two of them could leave.

“Thanks for waiting and putting up with me all night.” Yeonjun smiled apologetically as he held out his hand.

Wooyoung took a hold of his hand as Yeonjun helped him get up from the couch, and he snickered.

“Ah don’t mention it. We’re even now.” Wooyoung says with a wink.

“For what?” Yeonjun asks raising his eyebrow.

“For kissing her, remember.” Wooyoung says as he made his way to your front door.

“Right. Let’s never speak of that again.” Yeonjun says clinging on to Wooyoung’s shoulder as they walk out of your apartment.

“Deal.”

Your alarm went off, waking you from your hibernation at 10 AM.

That’s strange? You didn’t set an alarm clock.

You keep your eyes closed, feeling around the bed for your phone to turn the obnoxious sound off when it suddenly hit you that you were in your own bed.

Your eyes shoot open out of shock and bits and pieces from last night are starting to come back to you.

You got drunk, you got absolutely baked and then you ended up in Johnny’s bed to sleep it off but how the fuck did you get home?

You jolt upwards, feeling a pounding headache come to the surface as you look around.

Everything looks normal. You were dressed in an oversized t-shirt; your clothes were neatly folded on your dresser and even your make-up was off.

There is no way in hell you did all that by yourself…

You get up slowly, trying not to lose your balance and right at the moment you stretched your body, your gaze falls on a note on your bedside table.

Your eyes widen when you recognize the cursive handwriting and you hold your breath as you read the note.

I hope you’re feeling better,

Drink lots of water and try to eat something more nutritious than instant noodles ok?

Yeonjun.

You keep reading the words over and over again but your mind couldn’t comprehend the fact that he was here, in your apartment, and helped you change out of your party wear.

Well, fuck.

You rake your hand through your hair and sigh not knowing what to do with this information.

How did he know where you were? And why did he come to get you?

A million questions ran through your mind but you weren’t exactly ready to talk to him about it so you dial the only reliable eye witness you remember being there, Ryujin.

[Y/N, 10.04 AM]: Please fill me in on the blocks of memory missing from my brain. Why the fuck did Yeonjun take me home. I’m so lost.

[Ryujin, 10:05 AM]: Good morning to you too lmaoo

[Ryujin, 10:05 AM]: Dude, it was like a kdrama.

[Y/N, 10.05 AM]: What now????

[Ryujin, 10:06 AM]: Idk how Yeonjun figured out that you were there but he basically made a big ass scene and argued with Johnny since he wouldn’t let Yeonjun in at first but then things got so soft and cute. Like he caressed your cheek and carried you to the car. You even told him it was ok for him to take you home.

[Y/N, 10.06 AM]: I did!?

[Y/N, 10.06 AM]: Omg…wtf…I’m speechless.

[Ryujin, 10:07 AM]: Is there a problem? Aren’t you two a thing?

Well shit, what do you reply to that?

You let Ryujin’s words and Yeonjun’s actions register to you a bit before you could even think of a response to send her.

The past week has been hell. You’ve been going to class with an empty mind and soul, basically living on automatic pilot. You didn’t allow yourself to feel cause if you did, you were sure you were going to have a meltdown.

You couldn’t handle losing Yeonjun and Mia in one day, so you kind of pretended it never happened.

You blocked both of them from your socials and hung out with different people. Even though Soobin checked in on you and you on him, you hadn’t seen him.

You guess that seeing each other would spark a conversation both of you weren’t ready to have; so, you actively avoided each other.

You both needed time, and you also had different ways of dealing with your feelings.

Whereas Soobin stayed home and hung out with the guys, you went out and got drunk on schooldays.

In the past week you had done a lot of thinking. You tried to justify both Mia and Yeonjun’s actions but no matter how hard you tried; you just couldn’t see it from their point of view. Though you do realize that they didn’t have malicious intent, you were more sad than angry.

Truth is you missed them, but you didn’t know how to move past this either, especially with Yeonjun.

Last night's events changed something for you though, and you needed to talk about it with someone who knew exactly what you were going through and the only person who fit that description was Soobin.

After replying to Ryujin with a short ‘I’ll talk to you about it later” you asked Soobin to meet you in a bakery near Campus for Brunch and he agreed.

You knew you could lure him to any spot that sold bread so here you were, 1,5 hours later. Sitting at a window seat table while you waited for Soobin to arrive.

You quickly checked your appearance in the front camera of your phone. You did your best to hide the bags under your eyes with some much-needed concealer and even used eye drops to subside the swelling and lingering redness.

If Soobin found out what you did last night, he’d kill you, and that’s an understatement.

As Soobin walked into the bakery, the door made a ringing sound and you immediately looked up. He was dressed in a white t-shirt paired with his favorite denim jacket. He looked tired, the dark bags under his eyes being a dead give-away to the lack of sleep he had gotten in the past week. It made your heart ache for him and suddenly you want to kick yourself for not making an effort to see him sooner.

His eyes found yours and he gave you a sweet smile as he was glad to see you after a week of separation. You got up to hug him without a word and the two of you just stand there for a while, wrapped up in each other’s embrace. The much-needed comfort made you close your eyes as your cheek rested on his chest and he sighed, patting your hair before he gave you a kiss on your forehead while letting go of you slowly.

You both sat down and stared at each other for a few seconds. He assessed your appearance and frowned.

“Did you lose weight?” he asks a little concerned.

You shrug, not wanting to tell him about your loss of appetite. “How are you?” you ask, trying to change the subject.

“You first.”

“No, you first.” You insist this time, your eyes widening as a threat.

“Ugh fine.” He sighed, knowing that you could go at it for literal hours.

“I feel like shit. I miss Mia. I miss Yeonjun hyung, but I can’t forgive or forget about what happened.”

“Same.” You rest your elbow on the table so your hand could support your heavy head. You rubbed your forehead and bit your lip, contemplating if you should tell Soobin about what happened last night.

“I saw him last night," you confess.

“What? Where?” Soobin was surprised, to say the least. He didn’t think you’d be ready for that so soon.

“Well, technically he saw me, I didn’t see him,” you explain.

Soobin pouted to show his confusion and that’s when you start rambling. You told him everything you could recall but he stopped you midway.

“Why were you passed out?”

“Because I mixed,” you say avoiding eye contact as you sip on your iced coffee.

“Mixed what? Drinks?”

“No…I…accidentally…hypothetically…might have joined the crackheads.”

Soobin’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull and he raised his voice at you without second thought.

“You did WHAT!?”

People in the café were giving him looks and embarrassment flushed to his ears before he averted his attention back to you, speaking to you in a more hushed tone.

“Y/n what the fuck,” he whisper-screamed. “Why the fuck would you resort to drugs.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” You breathe. “I guess the whole situation of Yeonjun basically planning to abandon me before he returned, sparked some childhood trauma of my dad leaving for the army. It felt the same way and I never want to feel like that again so I just…got drunk and…stumbled into the garden and ended up with a blunt in my mouth before I could think about it.”

Saying it out loud was a big step, because you hadn’t gotten as far as making that connection yet, but you realize it could very much be right. You had a fear of abandonment, and Yeonjun basically confessing that he was planning to never return if it wasn’t for his housekeeper telling him that he should go back didn’t quite help with that hypothesis.

Soobin sighed, he felt bad for you but he still felt like it wasn’t a valid reason for you to turn to drugs, even if it was just weed. People with traumas are more susceptive to addiction and he didn’t want that for you, so he’d make sure you’d never go near it again.

“Just never do it again.” He says sternly, giving you his warning glare.

You make eye contact again and sigh in relief, nodding sheepishly as you chew on your straw.

“Y/n, I hope you realize that healthy relationships shouldn’t feel like what Yeonjun hyung has given you until now.”

Soobin’s words made you look up at him again. Ouch. That hurt. But he’s right.

The bad started to outweigh the good a long time ago and you knew it.

“It’s clear that he loves you, and he explained he wanted to stay away from you out of love and fear to drag you down with him but…the way he communicates. The way he thinks he resolves issues by lying about them. It’s not…it’s just not it. You can’t fix him y/n. He has to do that on his own.”

Soobin’s advice was never the type of advice that comforted you, because Soobin only told you the truth, and the truth hurt.

Because the truth is that even if you were to forgive Yeonjun for lying to you and manipulating you, how could you get through to him when he thinks his decisions are justified because they were made out of love for you?

He left you because he loved you.

He left you because you deserved better.

But he still left you while making you believe that he wouldn’t leave forever, and even though he did come back, the fact that he withheld that information from you for whatever reason he had; still broke your trust.

“I’m tired of giving him chances.”

“Then don’t give him any.”

“Yeah, that’s easier said than done Soobin. My feelings for him don’t just have an on and off switch. I love him but we’ve had a 10 years marriage worth of drama and we’ve only been seeing each other for 3 and a half months, and he was gone for most of it.”

“Yeah, that’s some shit.” Soobin says as he looks around the café to try and organize his thoughts.

His eye landed on the table next to him because he felt like he was being watched.

A man dressed in a black suit with a sharp jawline and slicked-back dark hair was typing throughout your whole conversation, but when both of you stopped talking, the man stopped typing.

He made eye contact with the middle-aged man for a split second and Soobin’s gaze stopped at the shiny silver pen in the front pocket of the man’s suit. It clearly read C.E Holdings Group.

You were staring out the window yourself, so nothing was registering to you, but when the mystery man’s phone lit up, Soobin’s eyes darted to the caller ID.

Again, with the C.E. Soobin’s blinked a couple of times and he quickly averted his attention back to you; trying not to be obvious.

C.E? Choi Enterprises? Could he be right or is he just being paranoid?

Suddenly Yeonjun’s monologue to you from that godforsaken dark day popped back into Soobin’s brain as he reminisced about what Yeonjun said to you in an attempt to make you understand why he lied to you about all of it.

“Y/n you’re not getting it…being in the know could get you hurt. If malicious people were after the company, or if my dad had enemies, I didn’t know about… I could never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me.”

“Soobin, are you okay? You look paler than usual,” you ask cocking your eyebrow at him.

Soobin broke out of his trance and nodded absentmindedly.

If you were being followed there was only one way to find out.

“Let’s get our food to go, the weather is still nice. We can eat it at the park,” he says getting up all of a sudden. He didn’t want to tell you yet because you’d freak out. So, this was the only way to get you to leave without noticing something was up.

“….Okay…..” he was acting weird, but you decided to comply with him given the circumstances. You got up, brushing past him to get your order to go.

“Weirdo,” you whisper under your breath.

Soobin’s change in attitude was odd.

The two of you walked around the park and he was super restless for some reason. He was constantly looking over his shoulder and you just about had enough.

“Let’s sit down somewhere already.” You complain and Soobin snapped out of his trance, nodding quietly before sitting down at a bench with a view over the lake.

“What is wrong with you? Is it because of Mia? Why won’t you talk to me about her? You keep avoiding the topic and preach about Yeonjun and me when you’re the one with a two-year-old relationship on the line.” You say as you hand him his croissant.

Your words might have come out a little harsh, but Soobin knew your intentions. He snapped out of his paranoia once again and looked at your concerned facial expression while he took the pastry from your hold.

You sat there and talked about everything. Soobin was able to relax a bit more given the fact that the guy from before was nowhere to be found, which made him re-think his theory of being followed.

During your talk it was clear that Soobin missed Mia, and that he regretted not communicating with her more before he broke things off with her. Despite it all, he wasn’t ready to look past the situation yet and you completely understood; because you felt the exact same way.

“She hasn’t reached out to me, and I haven’t seen her in class either," you say as you rest your head on his shoulder. Your hangover was still present, so you were getting tired, and Soobin was quick to notice.

“Maybe it’s time for me to talk to her…alone.”

“You’re ready for that?” you ask lifting your head off of his shoulder to look at him.

“I honestly just want to know if she’s okay…after all, it’s not like I stopped loving her.”

You nod understandingly. An involuntary yawn escapes your lips and you close your eyes, placing your head back on Soobin’s shoulder. You sat in the park for hours and hours on end and it was already past 5.

He looked down at you and chuckled, patting your head in comfort. “Let’s get you home.”

You were grateful for the ride home since you didn’t even have to ask for it. It’s the little things Soobin does that made you realize just how lucky you are to have him.

After all, the reason he broke things off with Mia was not so much about their issues, but about your issues with her and you knew that even though you didn’t know how, things were going to have to get back to normal with Mia and Soobin because you couldn’t stand to see him in pain like this.

Soobin pulled up to your apartment building shortly after, stopping as close to the entrance as possible.

“Thanks for the ride,” you say as you unbuckle your seatbelt. You go in for a clumsy hug and he chuckled, kissing the top of your head before you open the car door to get out.

“No prob-” he stopped mid-sentence when his eye landed on a black BMW with tinted windows that he’s never seen before. The car was parked across the lot, and it wasn't exactly blending in with the cheaper cars around. When Soobin spotted the BMW, the window rolled up and he swore he saw the same slicked-back hairdo from the man he saw before in the café.

“U ok?” you ask as you hold the car door open, assessing a rather frazzled looking Soobin.

“Hey, should I come inside with you?” He suddenly asks, his face held an expression you couldn’t quite read so you gave him a look. “Eh, no. I think I’m just gonna sleep this headache off.”

“Oh…well…if anything happens you call me ok.”

“Why would anything hap-”

“Just call me, Ok.”

You frown at his once again, super odd behavior and nod. “Ok...I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you…” Soobin says absentmindedly. He eyed the car a little longer and it drove off, making him relax a little more in his seat.

You closed the door and walk into your apartment building and Soobin watched you as you did just in case.

He grabbed his phone, dialing the only number that made sense to him right now, and to his surprise, he picked up almost immediately.

“Yeonjun hyung are you home? We need to talk.”

“What do you mean followed?” Yeonjun asks immediately alerted by Soobin’s story.

“Do you happen to have one of those company pens around here?” Soobin says as he made his way to Yeonjun’s desk to skim the surface.

Yeonjun raised his eyebrows, getting up to retrieve the silver pen with black engraving from his drawer to hand to Soobin.

He assessed the tiny object and turned it to read the engraving. C.E Holdings Group. “Fuck, it’s the same.”

“And you LEFT her by herself!?” Yeonjun remarks as he rakes his hand through his hair in distress.

“I didn’t know for sure, I thought I was just being paranoid but when I saw the black car with those tinted windows outside of the building I freaked.”

He started pacing around his room with large eyes.

“Wait, a car?” Was it…”

“A black BMW” they both say in unison, and suddenly the air got thick.

“You’ve seen the car?”

“Yes, last night when Wooyoung and I drove y/n home, Wooyoung mentioned that he felt like we were being followed by a black BMW.”

“Oh my fucking god.” Soobin says throwing his head back in frustration.

“Why the fuck would they follow her? And who is he working for? What the fuck is going on. I knew I shouldn’t have come back, look at what’s happening.” Yeonjun was rambling, throwing all of his thoughts on the table. He sat down on his bed, burying his face in his hands as his pupils darted back and forth.

“Hyung…calm down.” Soobin tries to comfort Yeonjun by putting a hand on his shoulder but he should’ve known better.

“Don’t tell me to calm down.” Yeonjun bites back. “I could have prevented this.”

Soobin sighed, hating to admit that if he was in Yeonjun’s shoes; he would’ve done the exact same things to protect Mia. Soobin didn’t realize the scale of it all. How much shit was on the line and how different Yeonjun’s world was from theirs, but this changed everything.

Like Yeonjun once said, it was a matter of billions and people would do crazy things to get to those billions; but what did you have to do with that? Did they want to get to Yeonjun through you? Blackmail him? Kill him? Kill you?

Soobin’s mind was basically reciting every K-drama he has ever seen and he was about to combust before Yeonjun snapped him out of his thoughts.

“You have to go back,” he states looking at Soobin. “She might not be safe; we have to tell her.”

“Oh yeah, let’s just tell her she’s being shadowed by some dude, that won’t freak her out.”

“It’s better than saying nothing. I will literally sleep in front of her door if I have to Soobin. We have to find out who he’s working for, and what he wants. She’s not safe, we’re not safe.”

“What the fuck did our lives turn into.” Soobin says letting out an exasperated sigh.

Yeonjun bit the inside of his cheek nervously as he kept thinking about what he possibly could have missed when he was investigating the situation back home. Was it his mother? Was he wrong about her? Or was it some random foe in the company that he didn’t know about?

Hearing the boys laugh in the living room made him snap out of his thoughts and he looked at the door of his bedroom, realizing how many people he cared for could be in potential danger.

“The boys can’t know.” Yeonjun says. “We protect them from this. We don’t need more targets on anyone's backs. We have to keep them as far away from this shit as possible.”

Soobin nodded, agreeing with Yeonjun. “Let’s go to y/n together alright. She won’t listen to me; you know how she is.” Soobin says as he looks at Yeonjun and he nodded, rubbing his forehead in agony.

Yeonjun was completely out of it. His mind was doing cartwheels as he freaked out on the inside.

“Hyung, it’s gonnabe ok. I’m with you on this.” Soobin says holding out his hand for Yeonjun.

Yeonjun looked up, somehow glad that Soobin and he were looking past their issues to solve this mystery, but he couldn’t be glad about anything right now, given the circumstances.

Yeonjun grabs Soobin’s hand and Soobin pulled him up from the bed, looking into Yeonjun’s equally dark and tired eyes. “Let’s go”

The sun had set for a while now.

It was past 8 and Mia was fidgeting with her sleeves, contemplating if she should ring your doorbell.

She came all the way to your house but somehow, she didn’t think things through fully.

What if you didn’t want to see her? What if you were just as mad as before?

She built up the courage to ring your doorbell and no later than 10 seconds you opened the door, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes before you realized who it was.

“Mia?” you say a little dumbfounded.

“C-can I come in?” she asked with sad eyes.

You bite your lip, and nod, stepping aside so she could walk into your apartment.

For some odd reason you had the feeling as if Mia’s eyes weren’t the only ones looking at you and as she steps inside of your apartment, you skim the hallways with your eyes, but there was no one in sight.

You stand there frozen for a second before you turn your attention to Mia, closing the door behind you.

The silence was awkward when you poured a cup of her favorite mandarin green tea for her as she was sitting on your couch, waiting for you to sit down with her so you could talk.

In the meantime, Soobin and Yeonjun had raced their way over to your house, and to their horror, the black BMW had returned.

Yeonjun was the first one to run out of Soobin's car to inspect the BMW, he had no idea what he was running towards, how dangerous It would be, and what could happen if he exposed whoever was in there but he didn’t care.

He hit the hood of the car and tried to look inside but the vehicle was empty.

Soobin jogged after Yeonjun after having parked his car on the sidewalk. “Empty?”

Yeonjun nodded, kicking a dent into the front car door out of frustration.

“He can’t be far.”

You sat down with Mia, handing her the cup and just as she was about to speak, a weird cracking noise at your front door alerted both of you.

“Is…someone trying to break your lock?” Mia says with wide eyes. You look at her in panic and put your finger over your mouth, telling her to stop talking.

You get up with the cup of boiling hot tea in your hand, and tiptoe your way to your front door to look through the peephole. Mia got up as well, watching you like a hawk as she trailed behind you.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you see an unknown man trying to force your lock open and you cover your mouth to suppress a gasp.

You don’t know what went through your mind but you didn’t have time to think.

You open your door with a fast swing, startling the unknown intruder in the process.

“Y/N!” Mia yelled trying to pull you back but you didn’t budge.

He reached into his pocket to retrieve something shiny, but before he could do anything, you throw the cup of hot water in his face, making him groan and drop his pockets’ contents on the floor.

He ran for it, and right that second the elevator doors open across the hall, and you see Yeonjun and Soobin with balled fists and alarmed facial expressions run over to you.

You made eye contact with both of them as adrenaline rushed through your veins, everything happened so damn fast that you couldn’t process how or why this was happening. And why Soobin and Yeonjun magically appeared at the right timing.

“Stay with them.” Yeonjun tells Soobin in panic as he ran after the perpetrator in the opposite direction without hesitation.

“YEONJUN NO!” You yell. You wanted to run after him as well, but Soobin stops you by blocking you with his body, shocked to see a frozen Mia behind you in the door way of your apartment.

Your neighbors came out of their apartments to see what the fuss was about, and suddenly you felt your head spinning. People were gathering outside of their homes in confusion as they talked amongst themselves, but nothing registered to you as adrenaline kept coursing through your veins.

“Let me go!” you protest, but Soobin doesn’t move. It didn’t take long for you to give up the fight and you look to the floor, seeing a cracked iPhone lying next to a knife and suddenly shivers ran down your spine at the thought of what he could have done to you with that weapon.

“S-Soobin what’s going on.” Mia says as her eyes found his.

Soobin sighed, turning around to talk to the crowd that had formed in the halls. “Nothing to see here people, please go back inside.”

“We need to call the cops” Mia says. “Was it a coincidence that you showed up here?”

Soobin shook his head, retrieving the phone from the floor as your neighbors went back inside with confused faces. A few of them lingered around and to your relief you see Yeonjun come back up the fire escape.

“I lost the motherfucker.” He shouts in anger walking into your apartment as he brushed passed you, exploring every room just to be sure. “He drove off so fast there was no way I could catch up.”

You were completely dazed and out of it, all you heard was white noise even though Soobin and Mia were talking to each other and when Yeonjun came back from inspecting your bedroom, he ran to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and trapping you into his embrace.

“Oh my god, thank god you’re okay,” he says obviously overcome with emotion as he held you close to his chest. His hand was on your head, trying to comfort you and it worked. The recent events finally got to you as you melt in his hold and you start to tremble as the shock in your body gets replaced by realization.

This could have ended a lot differently.

Soobin closes your front door and put his arm around Mia who was just as shocked by what happened. He held her hand, intertwining their fingers as he kissed her temple. “Are you ok?”

She nodded, sighing as she let go of Soobin, she wanted answers and fast.

“Is someone going to tell us what the fuck is going on?” She says looking from you to Yeonjun to Soobin and then back to you with worried eyes.

Yeonjun reluctantly let go of you. He didn’t know where to start because everything happened so fast. 30 minutes ago, he was in his room, not suspecting a thing before Soobin barged in with his crazy but justified assumptions.

“When we were in the bakery, I saw a man watching us. And when I dropped you off at home, I saw a car with someone inside that looked like him. That same car was following Yeonjun and Wooyoung last night as well.” Soobin explains as he made his way to you. He held you by your shoulders, inspecting you from head to toe.

“Did he touch you?”

You shake your head and sigh but Mia chimes in, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You guys should’ve seen her, she turned full G.I Joe on the man and threw her tea in his face.”

You manage to let out a chuckle and sit down on the armrest of your couch trying to wrap your mind around what Soobin just said.

Yeonjun couldn’t even think of cracking a smile. Too lost in thought to be fully present.

“What does he want? Who is he? This can’t be random?” You ask looking at Yeonjun with hopeful eyes. For once you wanted him to tell you the truth.

“No,” Yeonjun says. “Because it isn’t”

“Huh?” Mia says a little annoyed at their vagueness. “We should have called the cops.”

“No, it’s…” Soobin hesitated but continued after Yeonjun gave him a small nod. “I saw the Choi Enterprise's watermark on a pen in his suits’ front pocket at the bakery.”

Your eyes shoot to Soobin’s in shock. “That’s why you wanted to leave and why you were acting so weird?”

Soobin nodded guiltily and you scoff. “Why didn’t you tell me.”

“Because I wasn’t sure, but the pen, the phone it all….” Soobin stopped mid-sentence and all of you looked to him in confusion.

He retrieved something from his pocket and showed it to you. “He dropped his fucking phone.”

“Oh my god.” Yeonjun says walking up to Soobin to check out the device.

All of you walk over to your dinner table and sit down, trying different passcodes to unlock the phone but it was to no avail. After having blocked access for more than 15 minutes you give up until the phone started to buzz against the surface of your wooden table.

It was an anonymous caller ID this time, and all of you look to Yeonjun.

“Well…is anyone going to get that?” Mia says as she looked at the rest of you.

Soobin was nervously biting his nails while you just stared at the phone.

Yeonjun gulped before he took the phone from the table, sliding his finger over the screen to accept the call.

He put the phone on speaker and stayed silent.

“Status report?”

"...Hello?"

All of your eyes widened at the same time and Yeonjun ended the call immediately. Shivers ran down your spine and you swallow harshly as you fixate your gaze on Yeonjun.

That voice, you’ve heard it before, and you knew exactly who it belonged to.

“No…” he says as his heart drops. “This can’t be her.”

“Yeonjun…” you try to hold his hand but he pulls away, all eyes were on him as he got up, you were worried for him and uncertain of what to do.

He couldn’t take this, not after everything else that happened.

He looked completely lost as disbelief washed over him, he bit his lip; choking back tears that welled up in his eyes.

“It can’t be Lita.”

Chapter 13.

280 notes · View notes

literaphobe · 3 years

Note

Two questions:

1. What do you feel about CorpsexSykunno ship?

I feel like it's MarkiplierxJacksepticeye all over again, starts out innocent and turns uncomfortable.

(Also I think real people shipping is gross in general)

2. Dream smp makes me so nervous, not necessarily because of any of the members but due to (1) the history of online teams dominated (and lead) by male influencers, (2) minecraft youtube's general history of exploiting fans. I feel like it's going to end badly. You seem to be enjoying it tho, and it's definitely up my alley, should I get into it?

1. Corpse and Sykkuno are not comfortable being shipped! Neither of them are okay with being shipped with ANY of their friends in general, so like, don’t do it, or if u do like. i guess just don’t say anything about it? it’s really not hard to just enjoy their friendship. like it’s an endearing friendship n there’s nothing wrong w liking it. but. nothing more u know. plus both of them have made it clear on several occasions that they’re both straight and my gaydar agrees JFKDKDK like they’re just. Friends. Who care about each other :)

I definitely think it’s not like the markiplier x jacksepticeye situation, because for one u have jack himself telling people not to ship etc etc and also BECAUSE of that u have people actively policing any form of shipping. it’s honestly gotten to the point where it’s annoying but i genuinely don’t think it’s that big a problem, plus the rising popularity of the amigops puts less pressure on one-on-one corpse + sykkuno interactions, since people now wanna see all four of them play games together n not just corpse n sykkuno!

2. I get why Dream SMP would make u nervous. An interesting thing I realized when I started finding out more about people on that server is that there’s marginally more poc on it than I previously thought and also A LOTTTTT more lgbt+ people than i previously thought. Like genuinely why are so many of u so gay. And like that affects the stories being told obviously. Like. I don’t think it’s perfect n I don’t follow EVERY person on the SMP, just like i obviously don’t know everything about every minecraft YouTuber like fkdkdkdk i would say the only people i watch are dream, george, quackity (and even then i haven’t seen most of quackity’s YouTube videos) and like I’ve seen a couple of tommyinnit’s videos Fjdjdjdj and sapnap obviously but he has like 10 videos and i watch Karl’s streams if certain people are on it. yeah i think that’s about it like i do like the feral boys (dream george karl quackity sapnap) and i have seen maybe one or two skeppy videos

Anyway I get ur concerns about online circles dominated by male influencers too. but quite frankly compared to past circles ive seen its genuinely not that bad and also. In terms of holding them accountable, I think mcyttwt makes VERY sure of that (which honestly has devolved into a problem. because privileged haters will dig up stuff on creators that either a. has been addressed properly or b. is just. several years old and i don’t like how minorities are being weaponized. also i cannot stress how little i care that some minecraft YouTuber said the r slur 10 years ago when they literally never do it now. like. i worry so much because so many of these stans who think they’re ‘educating’ are just wearing themselves out n burning themselves out. so many of them are minors too)

but like. the people i am kept up w definitely do take responsibility and accountability. like dream especially gets accused of stuff that’s either fake/not him or something that’s just like out of this world (e.g. accused of queerbaiting. w george. interestingly no one ever accuses george directly of doing this) and no matter what he like addresses it properly and accordingly. like looking at his journey as a creator over the past year he’s grown a LOT and changed so much and matured a lot and i think like. looking at how much he’s blowing up and how much more of a following he’ll gain. I feel much better that it’s him who has this following as compared to. Certain people. And like. It’s upsetting to see how a lot of people have this impression of him that’s objectively false? Due to all the fake stuff that gets spread by haters (most often white for some reason???)? Because genuinely he’s not the creator we need to be so worried about?

Anyway in terms of getting into mcyts in the dream smp. I knew who Dream was because he’s played among us w the amigops a lot n they all like him because he’s just a good natured amicable person. I vaguely knew who george was because of dnf n also people putting his stupid face on my tl all the time. I thought he was pretty n hated that I thought that. I don’t care anymore tho. Like what’s wrong w looking at pretty people. I deserve it. Anyway! I got into their videos through GEORGE first, funnily. I think Minecraft, But I’m Not Colorblind Anymore was the first one I watched and it’s very very good. It’s endearing because it’s George trying out colorblind glasses for the first time n he’s nervous but Dream is there with him to make him feel more comfortable. And also Dream is so happy n emotional (he talks about tearing up at the thought of George being able to see colors properly) and their friendship is just very endearing. The video starts w george taking a colorblind test and we find out he has protan colorblindness (severity: STRONG which makes them crack jokes about how George is SO strong 😤)

anyway these losers. Decide to test the colorblind glasses on colors in MINECRAFT because of course that’s the whole video and it’s really heartwarming to see George learn how colors look like again n Dream just being excited about it the whole time n then George taking the colorblind test again at the end but with the glasses on... n then u go on to watch more george videos but it’s the ANIMAL CHALLENGES. like George Speedruns Minecraft But His Friend Is (Insert Animal, This Animal Is Always Dream) and like...... yeah so I watched a bunch of George’s videos n I went onto dream’s channel out of curiosity

And i was like. What the fuck. These videos are so WEIRDLY named. What the fuck is Finale, Finale Rematch, Grand Finale???? But dream has adhd too and in hindsight I absolutely would’ve titled the videos in a similarly confusing way. Anyway dreams manhunt videos are...... a work of art. I swear to god like even if u don’t know jackshit about minecraft they are very entertaining and weirdly impressive.

Basically in Minecraft Manhunt: Dream has to beat the game, but his friends are there trying to kill him. If they kill him even ONCE, they win n the video ends. He’s allowed to kill them repeatedly though. Manhunt started with one hunter (George, to one’s surprise), then two hunters (Sapnap and George), three (Sapnap, George, BadBoyHalo), and now four (Sapnap, George, BadBoyHalo, Antfrost). The next stage is possibly 5 hunters but idk who is the fifth yet. Anyway the thing that’s so entertaining about minecraft manhunt is:

1) Dream’s Parkour & PVP skills, which he developed and trained over such a short period of time n got REALLY good, it’s satisfying to watch him do risky maneuvers n succeed, the ways he’ll jump from a high place but clutch w either water, blocks, horses, boats, scaffolding, etc, to escape from the hunters

2) Dream’s TRAPS, like he actually does research for possible plans n traps he could do to counter the hunters, since there’s so many of them and only one of him, and he can’t just fight them in combat exclusively, since he’ll lose eventually if he gets ganged up on. I won’t spoil any of his traps, but they’re very good and also very dramatic. It’s amazing

3) The banter and taunting!! The lies and tricks!! They’re all really close so it’s easy for them to crack jokes during a lull where neither party is engaged in a fight, they’re all on the same VC so they can potentially say stuff to trick each other, or they can hear the other team say stuff that gives them an edge

4) The editing. Like the pacing is incredible, and all the bgm used is SO good at setting the atmosphere n making things more tense n exciting etc. like “dream’s manhunt music” is honestly a meme at this point but he actually unironically uses it and it unironically makes the videos better. Also dream edits all the manhunt videos by himself!! he doesn’t hire editors to do it for him or anything

idk what else to say but yeah I watch most of dream n george’s YouTube videos and they’re in most of each other’s videos and I like their dynamic a lot!! Especially since they still have not met in real life but already know they want to like live together (forever, according to George), and it like reminds me of the friendships I have because most of my close friendships have been made online. And like. They remind me that online friendships aren’t actually inferior. That’s it :) sorry this is so long

#ask #mcyt #dnf #dream smp #amigops #corpse husband #sykkuno #dreamnotfound #georgenotfound #dreamwastaken #sorry so sorry I just #never have that many ppportunies to talk about this #n I realized I had the energy to answer this ask apparently #fjdjdjdjd #askplus

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i-just-want-to-be-a-bumblebee · 3 years

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Okay despite the over the top dramatics, car chases and explosions the thing that I really love about Hawaii Five-0 is that that no matter how you look at it Danny and Steve love each other.

They actually tell each other several times through out the series “I love you” no subtly, no secret meanings, just I love you. Even if you don’t ship McDanno they love each other be it platonically or not. There is just something so pure over these two goofballs loving their partner and not being all Macho and emotionally repressed about it. They hug, they cry on each other and they actually say “I love you” and frankly media needs more of that. More healthy male friendships or relationships or whatever ships they have with each other. Just healthy emotions that don’t become the butt of every joke about being “girly” I just love it.

#hawaii five 0 #steve mcgarrett #danny williams #healthy relationships #I just love them okay?!

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maxinaptak · 3 years

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(AoT/ SNK) Key to Salvation: Eren X Abused!Reader

WARNING: REFRENCED NON-CON, FORCED DRUG USE

This is a rough one you guys. Proceed with caution.

You groaned as you rubbed the fairly fresh bruise on your shoulder, letting your head fall against the locker in front of you. The bruise on your shoulder wasn’t the only one you had; in fact, you had several more, both new and old, littering your body. You groaned again as you heard your best friend’s voice coming down the hallway. You lifted your head off your locker and pulled your sweater sleeve down your arm more, making sure it covered your bruise and the needle marks.

“________,” Eren called loudly, causing you to cringe lightly at his volume, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

He stopped next to you and looked at you with such innocent turquoise eyes. Oh, how you loved those innocent eyes. You could never tell Eren about what was going on at home. You just couldn’t.

“I was sick, that’s all,” you lied, faking a smile up at the boy, “Just a little cold. I'm fine now though.”

It almost pained you physically to lie to him, but how could you tell him that you had spent the last three days being given drugs against your will in a dirty basement where dozens of men abused your strung out, limp body while your mother collected their payment.

“Well, I'm glad you’re feeling better!” Eren said, smiling brightly.

You smiled almost sadly and sighed. Eren was your sweet, caring best friend. He had been since you were both in diapers. Fifteen years of friendship and you still couldn’t tell him what was happening; couldn’t tell him that you need help, beg for his help.

“Eren, will you lower your voice? I can hear you all the way down the hallway.” Mikasa, Eren’s adopted sister, said, flicking the brunet in the ear.

“Ow!” He cried, cupping his assaulted ear.

She rolled her eyes and looked at you.

“Are you sure you’re feeling better ________,” Mikasa asked, frowning, “You look more tired than normal.”

You faked another smile and said, “Yep, just fine!”

In all reality, you were going through a nasty withdraw from the clonazepam and oxy your mother normally gave you. This last time, she decided to give you something else to sedate you through your ‘work’, something she injected several times into your veins over the days. You had a feeling that if anyone would notice something was off, it would be Mikasa.

The other girl didn’t look too convinced, but nodded anyway and said, “If you say so. It’s almost time for class to start, so we should get going. You too Eren. If you’re late again, mom will have your ass.”

The tall boy rolled his eyes and hugged you goodbye. You tried your hardest to hide your pained flinch as he squeezed you tightly, but you knew Mikasa had seen it. Once he left, Mikasa set her hard gaze on you again.

“I saw that,” she said, crossing her arms, “What was that about?”

“Ok, so I may have hurt my back trying a new yoga pose yesterday. But I wasn’t gonna tell him that.” You said, jutting your thumb in the direction Eren had left in.

It wasn’t a total lie this time. Your back did hurt, but it sure as hell wasn’t from doing yoga. Your slightly older friend rolled her eyes and turned to head to your first hour class. You quickly ran after her, trying your best not to limp. You reached your AP Psychology class and took your seats. Your teacher had the desks in clusters of six or seven seats and you two got lucky enough to be put with your friends.

“Hey guys.” You said, plopping your book down onto your desk.

Krista, Ymir, Sascha, and Max all smiled back and greeted you both. You made small talk for a few minutes before the bell rang, signaling the start of the school day. You turned your attention to your teacher, Mr. O’Neil, and swallowed hard when you saw what he was writing on the board.

Drug Addiction: The effects, the signs, and withdrawal symptoms.

‘Fuck my life with a cactus….’ You thought, slowly sliding down in your seat a little.

You prayed to whatever god there may be (though you didn’t really believe that there was one anymore) that none of your friends, especially Mikasa, would notice that you were exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms.

You had managed to make it through the class with your teeth clenched and practically sprinted out of the room when it was over. You made it to your economics class in record time and slumped into your seat, letting your head slam down on your desk.

“Damn kid, rough morning?”

You slowly raised your head to look at your student teacher, Levi Ackerman. Apparently, he was a distant cousin to Mikasa, but she didn’t really know him.

“Rough couple of days.” You admitted, voice flat and eyes dull.

The short male regarded you carefully, as he had taken note that you had been absent for the past three days and went to his bag.

“Alright kiddo, I’ve got some dark chocolate and a Red Machine Naked Juice,” he said, placing said items on your desk in front of you, “You look like you’ve been through some shit, and you need these more than I do. Besides, it looks like you’ve lost a shit ton of weight since the semester started.”

Your face flushed bright red. You didn’t think Mr. Ackerman paid that much attention to any of his students, let alone you.

“T-thanks Mr. Ackerman….” You said, opening the chocolate bar and taking a small bite.

“No problem kid.” He said, turning to go back to his desk, but stopping.

He hesitated for a moment before turning back to you and crouching down next to you.

He waited for you to meet his gaze and quietly said, “________, you can come to me if you need to talk or if you need help, ok?”

You stared at him in shock and slowly nodded. You’d never heard him speak like that and it almost freaked you out. He nodded at you and returned to his desk. You let your eyes fall onto your desk and stared at it blankly.

“________?”

You jumped and whipped around to see Eren setting his stuff down on the desk next to you.

“What was that all about?” He asked, discreetly nodding his head in your teacher’s direction.

You swallowed hard and stumbled over your words as you tried to reply.

“N-nothing,” you said, averting your eyes from his, “He was just telling me that I looked like crap and needed to eat something, so he gave me this, that’s all.”

You quickly grabbed the bottle of juice and tried to open it, but struggled. You knew you had been having a bit of a hard time doing normal things, but never had you struggled to open a beverage bottle. You frowned and stopped trying to open the juice.

“Here, I got it,” Eren said, taking the bottle from you and cracking it open easily with his large hands, “I'm kinda shocked he’d be nice enough to give you something, but you should drink this. It’ll help you feel better.”

He carefully put the bottle back into your hand and you weakly smiled at him. You took a long drink from the juice and sighed, satisfied by the taste. Soon the room was full and the bell rang, class starting.

Levi’s eyes scanned over his students as they worked on the small packet he had given them to complete before the end of class. He heard a snore from beside him and looked at the teacher he was supposed to be shadowing, Dot Pixis, and rolled his eyes when he saw him asleep again. How that man became a teacher was beyond him. He heard footsteps approaching his desk and turned his attention forward again.

“Eren and I are finished with the packet.” ________ said, holding out two packets.

“As always, finished before anyone else. The brat is lucky you partner with him every time.” Levi said, shaking his head and reaching out for the papers.

As ________ pulled her hand away, she accidently knocked over the cup of pens and pencils on the desk.

“Shit, sorry Mr. Ackerman. I’ll take care of it.” She said, crouching down quickly.

“It’s fine, kid, don’t worry about it.” He said, looking over the side of his desk at her.

His eyes widened as the left sleeve of her sweater raised up, revealing a bruise vaguely shaped like a handprint and several track marks on her upper forearm. He froze, not knowing what to do as he watched her quickly pick up the scattered writing utensils and put them back into the cup. He swallowed hard and tried to formulate words, say anything to her, but he couldn’t manage it, too shocked. She smiled smally at him before going back to her desk. His eyes followed her and jumped over to Eren, her best friend. If he couldn’t talk to ________ directly, he sure as hell could talk to the brat.

“Jaeger, see me after class.” He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Eren groaned loudly.

“What the fuck did I do this time?” Eren practically whined.

He dramatically draped himself over where your desks were pushed together, making you breathe out a laugh.

“I don’t know, but this happens at least once a week and you know it.” You said, petting his shoulder length hair.

He sighed deeply and peeked up at you with his beautiful turquoise eyes, pouting. You stared at him and couldn’t help but smile lovingly at him. You’d never told anyone, but you’d been in love with the tall boy since you were eleven and he was twelve. He’d always been there for you, doing everything he could to make you laugh and smile. Usually, he’d drag Armin into his antics too, but it was all in good fun and you all laughed together.

“Your hair’s get long,” you murmured, playing with the little bun that was tied at the base of his skull, “Are you gonna cut it?”

Eren hummed and said, “Nah, I kinda like it like this. What do you think about it? Does it look bad?”

You shook your head and said, “No, I like it. I think it looks really good on you.”

“Then I’m definitely keeping it long.” He said, smiling up at you.

You smiled back and continued to talk to him for the rest of class. When the bell rang, you gathered your things and gave Eren a sympathetic look.

“I’ll see you later Eren. Have fun with Mr. A.” You said, waving.

“Yeah,” he groaned, standing up, “Have fun in anatomy with Armin. Embarrass him for me, would ya?”

“Sure! I’ve got a good dirty joke or two that I haven’t told in front of him yet.” You said, grinning.

Eren sighed and picked up his bag before walking up to Levi’s desk.

“You wanted to see me sir?” He asked, shoulders slumped.

Levi nodded and said, “Yes. What class do you have next?”

Eren was confused but answered, “German. Why?”

“Are you doing well in that class?” Levi asked.

“I’ve been speaking German since I was born basically,” Eren said, still confused as all hell, “My dad’s family lives in Germany, and my grandparents don’t speak English very well. I only took the class so I could get an easy A…. Why do you ask?”

Levi stood from his desk and motioned for Eren to follow him as he said, “I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem if you missed part of the class. I need to speak to you, but somewhere private.”

Eren was beyond confused now but followed his teacher anyway. The shorter man always seemed rather serious, but this time, he seemed deadly serious about whatever it was. He followed Levi to one of the biology labs and went inside.

“Hanji, I need to borrow your lab for a little bit,” Levi said, addressing one of the other student teachers he was friends with, “I need to speak to Eren alone.”

The crazy science teacher looked up from her notes and said, “Oh! Ok, sure! Just let me know when you’re done!”

She quickly left the room and closed the door behind her. Levi sat down and motioned for Eren to do the same. The younger boy did, facing his teacher.

“What’s going on Mr. Ackerman?” Eren asked, frowning.

Levi took a deep breath and said, “I need to talk to you about ________.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed and he asked, “________? What about her?”

“Something’s going on with her. Has she said anything to you?” He asked.

Eren thought for a moment before shaking his head as he said, “I mean, she said that she had a cold and that’s why she wasn’t at school the last few days. Other than that, no.”

Levi nodded and thought for a moment before he asked, “Eren, you’re her best friend, right?”

The brunet nodded.

“Do you pay close attention to her? The way she looks, the way she acts?”

Eren blinked a few times before shyly nodding his head.

“Then have you noticed that she’s lost quite a bit of weight since the semester started?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded again and said, “I tried to ask her about it once, but she got really upset about it and snapped at me, so I didn’t say anything after that. But I noticed that she was losing more and more weight as the weeks went on. And every few weeks she looks really sick and upset, but she won’t talk to me about it….”

Levi sighed deeply again and said, “Eren, I saw something on her arm today, in class when she was picking up the pens. That’s why I asked you to stay after.”

“What was on her arm?” Eren asked, worried and confused at the same time.

“There was a large bruise that looked like a handprint. And she had several… track marks on her forearm.” Levi said, letting his own shoulders drop in sadness.

“What are track marks?” Eren asked, still confused.

Levi looked up at Eren and said, “Needle marks, Eren. From using drugs.”

Eren’s eyes widened.

“Drugs?! No way! ________ would never!” Eren said, denial evident in his voice.

Levi sighed again and said, “Eren I know what track marks look like. It’s no secret that I grew up on the streets. A lot of people I ran with did drugs back then. I know what I saw.”

Eren’s heart dropped into his stomach, knowing that his teacher couldn’t be wrong. He thought back over the months and remembered seeing ________’s forearms and elbow crooks all the time. There were never any needle marks before. Bruises, sure, but ________ was clumsy.

“I-it must be new…,” he said, looking down at his hands, “She’s never had needle marks on her arms before….”

“What about the bruises?” Levi asked.

Eren shrugged and said, “She’s always had a few bruises here and there, ever since we were kids. She’s clumsy as hell, always has been. And she bruises easily because she’s anemic.”

“Has she always been anemic?”

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. It started around the time we started high school. That’s also when she started to look sick and upset every few weeks…. And her weight started fluctuating and her eating habits changed too….”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed again and he started to get more upset, thinking about how something was wrong with his best friend, the girl he was in love with, and he didn’t even realize, even though he saw everything.

“I should have known something was wrong….” Eren whispered, clenching his fists.

“Eren, it’s not your fault. You guys are kids still. It’s not your job to watch every little detail about her.” Levi said, trying to make the teen feel less guilty.

“But I love her,” Eren almost cried, a desperate look on his face, “I have been watching every detail about her for years! I should have known!”

Eren hung his head and let out a shaky breath, resting his head in his hands. Levi looked at his student sadly. He knew that the boy was in love with ________; it was pretty obvious, at least to him. And he could see that ________ loved him back. It was beyond him why the two hadn’t began dating yet, but that was beside the point at the moment.

“Now you know something’s up with her. Use the information you have now and talk to her.” Levi said, putting a hand on Eren’s shoulder.

The younger male looked up at his teacher and sighed, nodding.

Levi nodded back and said, “Alright. Now come on. I’ll write you a note to excuse you for missing class.”

Eren nodded again and sadly trailed behind his teacher. He got his note and trudged to his German class. He gave the note to Herr Ham and took his seat in the back of the classroom, spacing out. It didn’t matter if her paid attention or not. His teacher was horrible and taught in a ridiculous way that confused most students. The only reason he was top of the class was because he’s a native speaker. All he could think about was ________. He would see her again fifth hour for lunch and he didn’t know how he could face her without saying anything. He didn’t want to talk to her in front of their friends. He sighed and rested his head on his arms on his desk.

“For fuck’s sake….” You muttered, sitting back on your legs.

You were currently on your knees in a bathroom stall, retching into the toilet every so often. It didn’t surprise you that this was happening; you were going through oxycodone withdrawal after all. Nausea and vomiting were normal. You’d gone through this a few times before, but never this badly. You wondered if whatever drug your mother gave you the last few days was making it worse this time around.

“Oh god,” you groaned, feeling bile rise in your throat again, “Not again…!”

You heaved into the toilet again, hot tears running down your cheeks. All you had had to eat that day was what Mr. Ackerman had given you during econ, and there was no way any of it still resided in your stomach. All you could taste was stomach acid, your throat burning. You checked the time on your phone and sighed. Fifth period was almost over and you knew Eren would be worried that you weren’t there. You tried to get up and leave a few times, but it was obvious that your body wasn’t done. You shakily unlocked your phone and typed out a choppy text to Eren.

Eren frowned as he arrived at his normal lunch table. Armin and Max were sitting together, holding hands and feeding each other like normal; Mikasa and Annie were sitting across from each other, glaring at each other with an awkward sexual tension between them, like normal; and Jean and Marco were holding hands and eating quietly, like normal. What was not like normal, was the fact that ________ was missing. Eren was always the last one to arrive at the table and ________ was always sitting in one of the two open seats left at the table when he got there.

“Has anyone seen ________?” He asked, sitting down.

Max swallowed a strawberry Armin had fed her and said, “Not since third hour.”

“I saw her heading towards the cafeteria on my way here,” Marco said, frowning slightly, “But then she ran into the bathroom. I haven’t seen her since.”

Eren frowned deeply and stared down at his food. He sighed and ultimately started to pick at his food, eventually shoveling it into his mouth quickly as his dumb teenage body demanded him to. Near the end of the hour, his phone vibrated. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at it. It was a text from ________.

Felt sick, stuck in bathroom. Sorry. See you later.

Eren frowned again and sighed.

“What’s wrong Eren?” Mikasa asked, finally breaking her gaze away from her (not so secret) secret girlfriend.

“________ texted me. She said she was feeling sick and was stuck in the bathroom.” Eren said, shoulders slumping.

Max frowned and said, “I can go check on her if you’re really worried.”

Eren looked up at the red-haired girl gratefully and said, “Yes, please.”

She smiled and nodded. She leaned over to Armin and gave him several quick kisses before getting up and leaving the cafeteria.

“________?”

You jumped as you heard someone call your name. You knew that voice; it was your friend Max.

“M-Max?” You choked out, coughing.

You heard her run to the large stall you were in and try the door.

“________, are you ok? Eren said you were sick and you don’t sound good at all!” She said, voice full of concern.

You weakly moved to open the door to let her in before going back to slumping against the wall. She quickly came in and dropped to her knees in front of you.

“Oh my god, hon, are you ok?” She asked, gently putting her hands on your arms.

You sighed as more tears slipped from your eyes and shook your head as you breathed, “No…. I’ve been throwing up all hour….”

“Oh no, ________...,” Max said, looking at you sadly, “You need to go to the nurse and go home!”

You sighed again and said, “My mom won’t come get me….”

“I’ll take you home. They’ve let me do it for Armin before, and he wasn’t nearly this sick.” Max said, pulling her phone out.

She called Armin and asked for him to come to the bathroom and help. She hung up and pocketed her phone before gently stroking your (h/c) hair.

A minute later the door to the bathroom opened and you heard Armin call out, “Max, ________? Is there anyone else in there or can we come in?”

“It’s just us, come in.” Max called back.

Soon Armin was in the doorway of the stall, Eren behind him. Eren quickly pushed his way past him and gently scooped you up into his arms. Armin grabbed your backpack and followed you out of the bathroom. A security guard saw you being carried out of the bathroom by Eren and Armin following behind and asked what was going on.

“Our friend got really sick and needs to go to the nurse, but she couldn’t walk. I couldn’t carry her on my own, so I asked them to come and help.” Max explained, giving the older man puppy dog eyes.

The security guard was a little flustered by the look she was giving him and he let you guys go. You giggled a little, knowing your friend would use her incredibly seductive puppy dog eyes to get you out of any trouble. Armin may not like it, but you thought it was hilarious. Your little group made its way to the nurse’s office and Max explained the situation to the woman. Taking one look at you, the nurse gave Max permission to drive you home. She called the office and asked for a teacher to escort you out so you wouldn’t get in trouble. You were a little surprised to see Mr. Ackerman walk into the room, concern written all over his usually stoic face.

“I knew you were feeling sick this morning, but I didn’t know it was this bad.” He said, frowning.

You looked down shyly and shrugged your shoulders as best you could in Eren’s arms. Your group, now escorted by your teacher, made its way outside to Max’s car. Eren carefully placed you in the passenger seat and handed you a plastic bag for ‘just in case’. Armin put your bag in the backseat along with Max’s and kissed the girl before she got in. The three males stepped back and your friend pulled out of the parking spot. She drove carefully to your house and parked in your driveway.

“Do you need help inside?” She asked, turning to look at you.

You hesitated, not know if you really wanted to bother her anymore.

“You know what, don’t answer,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt, “I’m helping you to as least the front door.”

She got out of the car and you sighed, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Your door opened and Max helped you out of the car. She grabbed your bag from the back. She took your arm and helped you slowly walk to the door. You unlocked it and stepped inside, taking your bag from your friend.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling at your friend.

She smiled back and said, “Anytime. And if you’re not feeling better by Saturday morning, one of us is taking you to the doctor.”

You opened your mouth to say no but you didn’t get a chance.

“No arguments,” Max said, finality in her voice, “If you’re still this sick, you’re going to the doctor.”

You sighed in defeat and said, “Ok. Thanks for today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully.”

Max smiled at you sadly and nodded before getting back in her car and driving away, heading back to school. You closed the door and dragged your feet towards your room.

“What the fuck are you doing home?”

You silently groaned and turned to look at your mother.

“I got really sick.” You said, rubbing your face tiredly.

“That’s no excuse for you to come home.” The woman said, irritated.

You dully stared at her and said, “I was throwing up every few minutes all of fifth hour. It finally seems to have calmed down but I still feel like shit. My friends took me to the nurse and they made me go home.”

Your mother glared at you and said, “Well why the fuck are you sick anyway?”

You glared back and said, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I'm going through serious withdrawal from the clonazepam and oxy. It’s been four days since you last shoved oxy down my throat and it’s hitting me hard as fuck this time.”

Your mother rolled her eyes and turned back to her magazine. You shook your head and made you way to your bedroom. You set your bag down by your desk before falling face down on your bed. Luckily, your bed was still sacred and safe. The only man that had ever been in your bed was Eren, and those times were never sexual. Only lazy weekend naps and scrolling through social media together, showing each other things you found funny. You sighed heavily again and wiggled your way under your covers, managing to fall asleep a little faster than normal due to how horrible you felt.

Max pulled back in to her parking spot at school and turned off her car. She sighed and stepped out, shocked to see the three males she’d left fifteen minutes ago standing in the same place.

“You guys waited here this whole time?” She asked, confused.

They nodded and Armin took her hand, leading her back into the school. Eren and Levi slowly trail behind them and spoke quietly.

“Did you get a chance to talk to her?” Levi asked.

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. She got sick before I even saw her….”

Levi nodded and they walked in silence. They’d figure out the best way to talk to her eventually.

You groaned as you rinsed your mouth out for the fourth time that morning. You hadn’t made it to school the day before and you were still sick. It was now Saturday, and you knew your phone would be ringing soon. One of your friends would be taking you to the doctor today, and you were dreading it. As if on cue, your phone began to ring. You sighed and walked into your room to pick it up.

“Hello?” You asked, answering without checking the caller ID.

“________, how are you feeling?” Eren’s voice came through.

“Oh, Eren…,” you said, not expecting him to call this early, “I-I’m… not doing so hot….”

You finally admitted to him that you weren’t alright. You sat on your bed and wrapped your free arm around your stomach.

“You’re still feeling sick?” Eren asked, a frown evident in his voice.

You sighed and answered, “Yeah. Honestly, I'm not feeling any better than I did at school the other day.”

“Alright, I’m taking you to the doctor,” Eren said, sounding like he was getting up, “Get ready, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

You were surprised, but said, “O-ok…! Um, I’ll be ready.”

He hung up with a quick goodbye and you stared down at your phone, blinking owlishly. You sighed again and set it down on your bed so you could get ready. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with your school’s mascot on it. You grabbed the hoodie that you had been wearing to bed, which actually belonged to Eren, and pulled it on, smiling at the way you drowned in the large garment. You pulled on a pair of slip-on boots and grabbed your small backpack purse. You grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs. Your mother was snoring loudly on the couch, an empty bottle of vodka still gripped in her hand that was hanging off the edge, resting on the floor. You rolled your eyes and leaned against the wall next to the window by the front door. A few minutes later, Eren’s beat up old car pulled into your driveway and you slipped out the door, locking it behind you. Eren met you halfway to the car and gently took your hand in one of his and braced your arm with the other, helping you to walk to the car. He opened your door and helped you in, even buckling your seatbelt for you.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at you and carefully closed your door before going around the car and getting in the driver’s seat. He backed out of your driveway and took off down the street, heading towards downtown.

“Where are we going anyway,” you asked, biting your lip, “You know I don’t have insurance….”

He grinned over at you and said, “We’re going to my dad’s clinic. He said he’d see you free of charge.”

You smiled hearing that. Grisha Jaeger was a good man. Since your families had known each other since you and Eren were babies, you grew up seeing the man often. He was always kind to you, and you knew he was a good man since he took in Mikasa after her parents died when she and Eren were ten. He was the only father figure you had left since your dad died when you were eight. It was around that time that your mom started drinking and selling sex for money. When you turned fourteen, she realized that she could sell you instead and get even more money without her having to do anything. You sighed lightly as all of these thoughts swirled through your head, making it throb slightly.

“Hey, you good? Need me to roll the window down or something?” Eren asked, looking at you worriedly.

You smiled nervously at him and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw up in your car. It’s passed for now at least. I was just kinda spacing out, that’s all.”

Eren nodded and said, “I’m glad you feel better now. And you throwing up in my car probably wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened in here. I’m pretty sure Jean and Marco fucked in the backseat that time we went camping last summer.”

“Oh my god, seriously?!” You asked, shocked and kind of amused.

Eren nodded and said, “I saw them sneaking back to the campsite from the parking lot and then my car smelled nasty the next morning. And Marco couldn’t look me in the eye for a week.”

You laughed harder than you had laughed in a long time at this, holding your stomach as it cramped lightly.

“Ow…,” you cried, tears of laughter streaming down your face, “It hurts! It’s so funny it hurts!”

You quickly pulled you phone out and dialed Jean’s number.

“Hello?”

“Jean, did you and Marco really fuck in Eren’s car last summer when we went camping?!” You asked, still laughing.

You could hear the horror in his voice as he said, “How did you find out about that?!”

You barked out another laugh and said, “Eren’s known about it since it happened! He saw you guys sneaking back to the campsite that night!”

Jean swore and hung up on you, causing you to laugh even harder. You put your phone back in your purse and leaned back in your seat, your laughter dying down.

“I can’t believe you called him.” Eren chuckled, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe he admitted it to me. Well, in a way.” You said, giggling again.

Eren rolled his eyes and pulled into the empty parking lot of his dad’s clinic.

He must have seen your confused look and said, “The clinic doesn’t open until 11 o’clock. Dad wanted me to bring you in early to make sure there was time to do a thorough exam and run any tests needed before any other patients were here.”

You nodded in understanding and bit your lip nervously. At least one of your secrets was about to come out and you were not ready for that. Your door opened and you jumped slightly, looking up to see Eren shaking his head at you. He leaned down and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. He took your hand and helped you out of the car. You expected him to let go of your hand, but he didn’t. Instead, he held onto your hand tightly and guided you to the back door of the clinic, unlocking it and opening it, leading you in.

“You have a key?” You asked.

He nodded and said, “I sometimes help dad out by coming in before or after hours and help clean and stuff.”

You nodded and looked around hesitantly, not ready for this.

“Dad, we’re here!” He called into the mostly dark clinic.

“Back here, room 3.” His father called back.

Eren lead you down two hallways to the only room with lights on. You saw Dr. Jaeger setting up several different things and you immediately froze. He must have noticed because gave you a gentle smile.

“Relax ________,” he said softly, “Eren told me that you haven’t been to a doctor in quite a while, so I figured we’d just do a full work up.”

You swallowed had and nodded, letting Eren lead you over to the exam table, helping you to sit on it. He smiled at you a little before letting go of your hand, turning to leave the room.

“W-wait…,” you said, reaching out and grabbing his arm, “Stay… please…?”

He blinked at you a few times before looking at his father and asked, “Is it alright if stay dad?”

“As long as she says it’s alright, then yes.” He answered, nodding.

Eren nodded as well and moved to stand next to the exam table. You didn’t look at him or his dad, instead, just staring down at your hands in your lap.

“Alright, let’s start with your height and weight.” Dr. Jaeger said, motioning for you to come over to the scale.

You slipped off the table and went over, letting him measure your height (A/N: anything shorter than 6 foot so you’re shorter than Eren). You couldn’t look at the little screen on the scale where the numbers would pop up, indicating your weight.

“94 lbs,” Dr. Jaeger said, frowning, “________, that’s extremely low.”

You swallowed hard and said, “I know…. I knew my weight was low but I didn’t know it was that low….”

You trudged back to the exam table and climbed back onto it, not meeting the eyes of either Jaeger. The older man came over and grabbed the blood pressure cuff.

“Can you take your sweater off please?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You took a shuddering deep breath and slowly pulled off your hoodie. You shyly offered the doctor you left arm, looking anywhere but him. The room was silent as you felt both males staring at you.

“________, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to be completely honest with me, do you understand?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You nodded, pulling your arm back, wrapping both your arms around your body.

“Are you taking drugs?” He asked.

“Not willingly….” You answered quietly.

“Someone’s making you take them?”

You nodded again.

“Who?”

You swallowed hard and said, “My mom….”

You felt Eren’s eyes boring into the side of your head but you refused to look at him.

“What is she giving you?” Dr asked.

“Normally she gives me clonazepam and oxy when I… have to work…. But last time she injected me with something instead. I don’t know what it was though….” You said, bringing one hand up to bite on your nails.

Dr. Jaeger was quiet for a moment before he asked, “What kind of work do you do?”

You squeezed your eyes closed tightly and said, “Sex work….”

“What?!” Eren cried, making you cringe.

“Eren, calm down,” Grisha said, “Freaking out right now isn’t going to help her at all.”

“S-sorry….” Eren stuttered, gently taking your hand.

“Does your mother force you to do this work?” Dr asked.

You nodded and said, “Yes…. When my dad died, she couldn’t pay the bills anymore and started selling herself. When I turned fourteen, she realized that if she sold me, she could make twice the money without having to do anything herself. I struggled and fought at first, and she would always get mad and say that I was too loud and that we’d get caught. So, she started drugging me to get through the meetings. It started out with just the clonazepam, but somewhere along the way she added the oxy.

“It was only once every few weeks at first, but then she started taking me to that place every week. Now it’s at least three nights a week, for… well, I’m actually not sure how long were there for since I’m drugged the whole time…. After she started bringing me every week, my body got dependent on the drugs…. That’s how she controls me now…. I've been going through really bad withdrawal this whole week…. The last time I had either was Sunday night….”

Both Jaegers were quiet for a moment.

Dr. Jaeger sighed heavily and said, “________, because of what your mother has been forcing you to do, I’m going to have to ask you some difficult questions, alright?”

You nodded.

“Do you know how many men have… been with you?” He asked, sounding like he didn’t want to be asking you these questions, just as much as you didn’t want to be asked them.

“I’m not sure…. I’m drugged every time now…. But if I had to guess… probably at least 300, maybe 350….” You said, rubbing your arm in shame.

Another sigh came from the doctor and you could hear Eren breathing heavily.

“Do you know if protection was used?”

You sighed and said, “Mom never put me on birth control and from the number of times I woke up to… fluids dripping down my thighs I assume not.”

Sighs were heard from both males in the room and you finally looked up. Dr. Jaeger looked conflicted and Eren looked so sad and so angry at the same time.

“I’m sorry I never told you Eren,” you said, hesitantly gripping his sleeve, “I was so embarrassed and… I was scared that if anyone found out that I would get in trouble….”

Eren shook his head almost violently and said, “Don’t apologize! It’s not your fault she made you do that! I’m sorry that I never notice anything was going on!”

“It’s alright Eren. I did everything I could to make sure you didn’t know.” You said, shrugging.

You both fell silent and Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat. You turned your attention back to him.

“Given the information you’ve provided me, I’m afraid I need to perform a pelvic exam and take some swabs and samples to make sure you’re not seriously sick.” He said, looking at you apologetically.

You sighed and nodded, figuring this was coming.

You looked at Eren and asked, “Will you stay with me still?”

He looked at you confused and asked, “Are you sure you want me to stay in here while he exams your… you know… girly bits?”

You nodded and said, “I already know it’s gonna be uncomfortable as hell. I've heard these exams can hurt a little, especially if samples need to be taken. It’s also going to be awkward as fuck since it’s your dad and all, so I might as well have some sort of comfort. You can face the wall behind me if it helps.”

He hesitated, but nodded. Dr. Jaeger began to gather all of the instruments and things he needed for the exam while you put on the paper gown he gave you. You asked Eren to tie it for you and her did. Once it was tied, you slipped off your leggings and panties without him seeing anything. To spare both of you any extra embarrassment, you folded your panties inside your leggings so he didn’t see them.

“Lay back and place your feet into the stirrups, then slide your bottom towards the end of the table.” Dr. Jaeger said, sitting on the rolling stool.

You did what you were told and held your hand out to Eren, who was facing the wall behind you, but could still see you. He took your hand and held it tightly. Dr. Jaeger started to examine you and you breathed deeply, closing your eyes. You could feel your face heat up in embarrassment and couldn’t bring yourself to look at Eren, even as he squeezed your hand reassuringly. Once you felt the speculum touch you, you breathed deeply again, anticipating the pain of something entering you. It didn’t hurt while going in, but when it started to open, you whined slightly at the burning pain.

“I apologize ________,” Dr said, “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

You nodded and bit your lip. After what felt like forever, but was only about a minute and a half, the speculum was pulled out of you and you sighed in relief. You sat up and looked at Dr. Jaeger, watching as he collected all of the swabs and samples he had taken.

“I’m going to go process these and we should have the results in about twenty minutes. I’ll also need to take some blood samples to check a few things.” He said, standing.

You nodded and took the towel he handed you. He left the room and Eren turned his back so you could clean yourself up and get dressed again. You did so quickly and tossed the towel into the labeled basket.

“I’m done.” You said, sitting on the table again.

Eren turned back to you and leaned against the exam table, pulling you into a tight, but gentle hug. You hugged him back and buried your face into his neck.

“I love you,” he said, stroking your (h/c) hair, “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared. But after hearing that your own mother was forcing you to do that kind of stuff, I felt like I had to tell you… tell you that someone loved you….”

You teared up a little and said, “I love you too Eren…. But I was so scared to tell you because I thought no one could love me when I’m so used and disgusting….”

“You’re not disgusting,” Eren said, kissing your forehead, “You’ve been abused. None of it was your choice or your fault. Nothing could make me stop loving you.”

You looked up at him and he smiled at you. He leaned down and kissed you gently. You kissed him back before resting your head against his chest while he stood between your legs, hugging you. You stayed like that until the door opened again.

“Can I assume that you two finally confessed?” Dr. Jaeger asked, raising an eyebrow.

You giggled quietly and Eren nodded.

He nodded back and said, “Congratulations, and finally. Now, I’m sorry to have to separate you two lovebirds, but I need to take some blood samples.”

You nodded and pulled away from Eren to offer your arm to his father. He tied a rubber strip around your arm and felt for your vein. Once he found it, he skillfully stuck the needle in your arm and collected the blood he needed.

“Eren, hold this here for me.” He said, nodding down to the folded cotton pad he had placed over the needlestick.

Eren’s tanned fingers gently pressed down on the cotton and his father went to dispose of the needle. He came back with a roll of (f/c) coban and wrapped it around your arm. You thanked him and moved back to your embrace with Eren.

“I’ll run these tests and when all the results are back, we’ll go over them. For now, relax.” Grisha said, nodding at you two.

You nodded and rested your head back on Eren’s chest. He rested his chin on top of your head and hummed happily. You talked idly for a little over half an hour before Dr. Jaeger came back in, a dark look on his face.

“I know that look,” Eren said, sounding a little scared, “And nothing good comes after it….”

Grisha sighed and pulled the rolling stool over again, sitting down in front of you.

“Don’t sugarcoat it.” You said, trying to steal your nerves.

“There are a few things that we need to discus,” Dr. Jaeger said, looking down at the clipboard in his hands, “Are you sure you ok with Eren hearing this information?”

You nodded and said, “Yes. He knows everything else now. I’m not going to hide anything from him anymore.”

Dr. Jaeger nodded and said, “Alright. We’ll your anemia has gotten worse, which judging by how low your iron levels are, is probably due to your lack of nutrition. And your extreme weight loss is most likely due to your body’s dependence on the drugs.”

You nodded at his words. You had kind of figured that would be the case, but you were dreading whatever other diagnoses you might get.

“You have a few other vitamin deficiencies and insufficiencies, but that’s to be expected.”

You nodded.

“Unfortunately, I have two more rather serious diagnoses for you.”

You swallowed hard and nodded, holding onto Eren’s hand tightly.

“The lesser of the two is that you have a bacterial infection. It can be taken care of with antibiotics though.” Dr. Jaeger said.

You closed your eyes and sighed sadly.

“It’s an STD… isn’t it…?” You asked, looking at him.

“Yes. You have chlamydia, which, like I said, is treatable,” Dr said, trying to reassure you, “All you have to do is take the antibiotics that I give you and abstain from any sexual activity for a while and you’ll be cured.”

You nodded sadly and asked, “What’s the other bad news?”

Dr. Jaeger fell silent and his face grew dark again. A chill ran down your spine at the look.

“Dad,” Eren said, “What is it?”

The man sighed heavily and said, “________, according to your blood test, you’re somewhere between four and six weeks pregnant….”

The blood drained out of your face and your heart dropped into your stomach. You could see Dr. Jaeger’s lips moving, but all you could hear was a high-pitched ringing. It hadn’t been the withdrawal that was making you so sick…. It was because you were pregnant….

“I think I'm gonna be sick…!” You said, jumping up from the exam table and running to the garbage can that was built into the counter next to the sink.

You hunched over it and heaved roughly, bringing up stomach acid again. Gentle hands gathered your hair away from your face and another hand rubbed your back. You retched a few more times before gasping and coughing.

“Rinse your mouth out dear.” Dr. Jaeger said, turning the water on and grabbing a small cup.

He filled it and handed it to you. You took the water in, swished it around and spit it out in the sink. You coughed a few more times before straightening up, stumbling slightly. Eren quickly steadied you and brought you into his chest. Tears flooded your eyes and you began to sob.

“What am I going to do…?!” You cried, grabbing onto Eren’s shirt tightly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, hugging you tightly, “We’ll get through this. I swear…!”

You spent a while crying into your boyfriend’s chest before you were able to calm down.

“Eren, I want you to take ________ to our house,” Grisha said, taking his phone out, “I’ll call your mother and explain what’s going on. She’ll know how to help.”

Eren nodded and lead you out of the clinic and back to his car. He got you in and quickly drove to his house. He helped you out of the car and to the front door where his mother met you.

“Oh ________, darling.” She cooed, pulling you into a hug.

You started to cry again and she slowly brought you to the couch. She lowered you both down and stroked your hair. Eren came and sat on your other side and rested his hand on your knee, letting you know he was there. You managed to calm down quicker this time and pulled out of Carla’s loving embrace.

You sniffled and said, “Did Papa call you yet?”

Carla smiled lightly at the name you had called Grisha since your father died and nodded.

“I have a plan.” She said, petting your hair.

You nodded and Eren asked, “What is it?”

“There are obviously a few things that we need to address, but the first one is ________’s mother. We need to get the police involved.” Carla said.

You sighed. You were afraid she was going to say that.

“I know you don’t want to ________, but we have to,” Carla said, petting your hair gently, “But don’t worry, we’ll be with you the whole way.”

You nodded and asked, “What do we do after that?”

“We get you in a rehab program to get your body to not be dependent on the drugs anymore.” She answered.

You nodded again and looked down at your hands.

“What about… the baby…?” Eren asked, hesitant.

You peeked up at Carla through your lashes, curious to see her reaction.

She smiled a little sadly and said, “It’s still early on. We need to take care of those two things first, and then we’ll turn our attention to that. Oh, and we need to get that infection cleared up! That’s really priority number 1. Well, 1A, since we can do that and the police at the same time.”

You giggled a little at her, causing her to smile at you.

“Mom, can ________ stay with us from now on?” Eren asked.

“Of course! We’re getting that bitch thrown in jail so she needs somewhere to live. And this is the safest place for her.” Carla said.

You and Eren looked at the woman in shock.

“Mom!” Eren exclaimed, wide-eyed.

She looked at you two and asked, “What?”

“You never swear,” you giggled, “At least, not like that!”

The woman shrugged and said, “I’m just calling it like I see it.”

You giggled again and nodded.

“My mom should be out doing god knows what right now, so we should probably go get my stuff.” You said, looking to Eren.

He nodded and you stood, say goodbye to your new mother and going to the car. It didn’t take long to reach your house and you sighed in relief when you saw that your mother’s car was indeed gone. You quickly went inside and to your room. You went to your closet and reached for the large duffle bag that was on the top shelf, but couldn’t reach it.

“Need some help there?” Eren asked, coming up behind you and putting a hand on your waist.

“Yes please.” You said, tilting your head back so you could look up at him.

He smiled down at you and gave you a quick kiss before grabbing the bag. He placed it on your bed and helped you shove your small wardrobe into it. You didn’t have a lot of stuff, since you didn’t see any of the money you made from ‘working’, so your belongings were few and far between and all fit into your duffle and backpack. Shoving the last item into your bag, a photo of you and Eren from when you were kids, you froze as you heard the front door slam shut.

“________, are you back? Whose piece of shit car is that?” Your mother yelled, sounding mostly sober.

You took a deep, shuddering breath and felt Eren wrap his arms around you.

“We’ll make something up and get out of here quickly, I swear.” He whispered, kissing your forehead.

You nodded and took another deep breath before steeling your nerves and walking downstairs.

“There you are,” your mother said, her drawn on eyebrows pinching together when she saw you, “What the fuck is all this?”

Your mind blanked and you started to panic slightly, looking to Eren for help.

“Max asked to barrow some stuff from ________ for a project and since we were all planning on hanging out today, I just decided to drive her.” Eren said, forcing a smile.

Your mother eyed you both for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Whatever. As long as your back in time for our plans tonight.” She said, staring you down.

A chill ran down your spine and squeezed out “Yes ma’am….”

She nodded again and waved her hand dismissively as she walked towards the kitchen. You quickly ran out the door and Eren threw your bags into the back seat. You got in the car and Eren sped the whole way back to his house. Once there, he put your things in his room and you sat down with his mother again.

“So, you’re supposed to work tonight?” She asked, pulling out her phone.

You nodded and watched as she dialed a number.

“Hannes, hi, it’s Carla,” she said, tilting her head a little, “Listen, Grisha and I need a favor.”

She listened for a moment before humming.

“Great,” Carla said, smiling, “You remember Eren’s friend ________, right? Well, turns out her mother is a horrid bitch and has been forcing ________ into sex work for the past few years. She was so scared that she wasn’t able to tell us anything before today when she saw Grisha for an exam. The bitch has also been forcing ________ to take drugs. Is there any way to set her up tonight to get her arrested?”

She listened again and you could faintly hear someone talking on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Wonderful. We’ll come by the station when Grisha gets home. Thanks.”

The woman hung up and looked at you with a smile.

“That hag should be in jail tonight.” She said, a sly smirk on her lips.

You were still a little shocked to see this side of Eren’s mother, but you kind of liked it. You smiled yourself and hugged your new mom, thanking her.

“What do we do after she’s arrested?” Eren asked.

“Well, first, since ________ is still 17, your father and I will have to take care of whatever legal paperwork needs to be done to become her guardians. Then, rehab.” Carla said, stroking your hair.

You nodded and reached out for Eren’s hand. He laced his fingers with yours and brought your hand up, kissing it lovingly. You ended up cuddling up with Eren on the couch watching tv with his mother while waiting for your father to get home. Once he arrived, you all got into his car and drove to the police station.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as you watched a cop handcuff your mother.

“You little bitch! How dare you do this to me! I’ll make you regret it!!” She screeched, fighting against the cop.

You huffed out a breath and turned away from her, searching for Eren. You spotted him quickly and made your way to him. He hugged you and kissed your forehead. The next step now was rehab. It turns out that your new mom had a friend that ran a really nice rehab facility. And you didn’t have to pay for a thing, since the courts had decided that your biological mother owed you sever hundred thousand dollars for all of the trauma and damages she caused. You kept up with your school work while in rehab, but a little over two weeks into the program, you ended up in the hospital. They called Carla and your family quickly raced over.

“________,” Eren cried, bursting into you room, “Are you ok?! What happened?!”

You smiled tiredly at him and reached out for his hand. He quickly came to your side and held your hand with both of his.

“I miscarried.” You said simply.

Eren’s eyes widened at the news, and he didn’t know how to react, not knowing how you felt.

“How do you feel about the situation?” Your mom asked, sitting next to you on your bed and petting your head.

You smiled sadly and said, “I’m a little sad but, it’s best that this happened. I’m not ready for a baby and I honestly don’t know how I would have handled having a child from that situation. So, I'm ok.”

Eren frowned and said, “You don’t look like you’re ok.”

You laughed lightly and said, “I meant mentally and emotionally. Physically I’m tired as fuck and still in pain. Both from rehab and this. But I really am fine. I’ll be better in no time, I promise.”

Eren sighed lightly but nodded. You leaned up and kissed him gently before resting back in your bed.

Two months later, you were back home with Eren and your new family and you would be graduation high school soon. You were clean and sober a little over two months and you had recovered from the miscarriage completely. Your life was normal now, and you couldn’t be any happier with your boyfriend and your new family.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader

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cicada-bones · 3 years

Text

The Warrior and the Wildfire

Chapter 7: Forged

Hi! so. yeah. I'm really sorry. I had a very hard feburary and then a surprisingly difficult march. but i promise you - this isn't going to be abandoned, just taking longer than usual unfortunately. Please let me know what you think!

word count: 3418

Masterlist / Ao3 / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

A male, all in black, felt his muscles relax as the lights slowly flickered out of the warehouse across the way. As if someone was walking through the apartment, room by room, blowing out candles. The male looked until nothing more was visible through the darkened window, and a small sigh passed his lips.

A cold wind blew towards him, carrying his death-kissed scent back to the glass castle instead of towards the apartment before him and the Fae hidden within. Lorcan knew that Whitethorn and Galathynius were in the bedroom, but there was another – a male – hidden up on the roof.

The ancient warrior scoffed. It had been even easier than he thought it would be. Without magic, they were all completely helpless. Weak.

All he’d had to do was leave a false trail from the docks through the city and into the busy market square, then turn back to the harbor and wait. Wait for Whitethorn to appear, and guide him straight to the princess.

By that very night, he’d done just that.

Lorcan had to be careful to keep out of sight, to keep the wind at his back and his scent out of Rowan’s path, but before long, his quarry was in sight. That fire-breathing-bitch-queen, arrogant as ever. She was with two others; one, the male who was currently guarding the roof, the other, a human female, with a scent like figs and mint. Soon, the female peeled off from the group, her path headed towards that monstrosity of a castle.

While Lorcan didn’t follow her, he made sure to memorize that unusual scent to keep tabs on her later. Then he followed them back to this warehouse hidden deep in the slums, and the apartment hidden within.

It had all been so easy, so simple. He’d been the one who trained Whitethorn, after all. Lorcan knew how the male worked. He just hadn’t expected him to be this vulnerable without his magic. The idiot hadn’t even bothered to fortify the warehouse when they arrived.

Probably too distracted by the princess’ lips. Or her legs.

It hadn’t slipped Lorcan’s notice that when the lights had gone out, they were both in the same room. A room that contained only one bed.

Disgust rippled through him, disgust and fury. All Lorcan wanted was to slide off his perch, rush into the warehouse, and root the two birds out of their nest. But he had to wait, wait until he could catch them off guard, until there wasn’t a sentry to warn them of his approach.

For even now, without magic, Lorcan couldn’t be completely sure that he could overpower Whitethorn. The easiest way, the only reliable way, would be to separate them. To capture the princess and hold her hostage, ensuring that Whitethorn would stand down. While he negotiated for the keys.

In the meantime, Lorcan could scout out the city, discover its weaknesses and patterns and hidden pathways. So he could plan his attack.

So as the whispers in the bedroom quieted, and even the memory of candlelight had vanished, the warrior slid off the roof and onto the street below. Letting himself be consumed by the night and trying his best not to think of just how completely and utterly alone he was.

Without a nation, without a queen.

All he had left was his purpose, and he would follow it through to the bitter end.

···

Rowan awoke to an empty bed, Aelin’s scent swirling all around him, fresh and clean as the daylight streaming through the window beside him. He could hear her shuffling about the kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the stove.

Rowan turned and stretched, his muscles pulling and tightening in all the right places. It had been wonderful to finally sleep in a real bed, with space lie down properly, instead of curled into that rutting wooden box.

His body and mind felt settled, comfortable, and it wasn’t just because he was finally well-rested. For the first time in over a month, Rowan had slept without a single nightmare.

There were no screams on his lips, no haunting images behind his lids, sweat on his limbs, bile in his throat. Nothing.

Rowan almost felt tears bud in the corners of his eyes, the relief was so intense. He wouldn’t ever let Aelin get away from him again. So long as she wanted him, so long as she needed him, he would be there.

Rowan listened as another set of feet entered the kitchen. There was a moment of silence as the two demi-Fae regarded each other, a moment where Rowan prepared to intercede if necessary. But then he heard Aedion say, softly, “There are mushrooms somewhere.”

“Good,” Aelin said, only the slightest edge to her voice, “Then you can clean and cut them. And you get to chop the onion.”

“Is that punishment for last night?”

A sound like cracking eggs, then, “If that’s what you think is an acceptable punishment, sure.”

Aedion’s voice seemed somewhat cheerier. “And is making breakfast at this ungodly hour your self-imposed punishment?”

“I’m making breakfast because I’m sick of you burning it and making the whole house smell.”

Aedion laughed quietly, then shuffled forwards, the sounds of a knife on a cutting board starting from the other side of the wall.

“You stayed on the roof the whole time you were out, didn’t you?” Rowan could hear the smile in Aelin’s voice, and he felt his lips twitch in response.

Pots clattered, and butter began to sizzle. “You kicked me out of the apartment, but not the warehouse, so I figured I might as well make myself useful and take watch.”

Rowan found himself nodding with approval. The male had crossed the line, but at least he had made himself somewhat useful. But remembering what he had said to Aelin last night…it was enough to make his hackles rise.

Rowan forced himself back to calm as Aelin said, “We both have atrocious tempers. You know I didn’t mean what I said, about the loyalty thing. Or about the half-human thing. You know none of that matters to me.”

It was definitely the best apology he was going to get. And far more than he deserved.

A short hesitation, then, “Aelin, I’m ashamed of what I said to you.”

“Well, that makes two of us, so let’s leave it at that.” There was a moment when all Rowan could hear was the scrape of a metal whisk in a glass bowl, then, “I - I understand, Aedion, I really do, about the blood oath. I knew what it meant to you. I made a mistake not telling you. I don’t normally admit to that kind of thing, but…I should have told you. And I’m sorry.”

Another tension-filled silence. Aedion was holding a knife…

Rowan kept himself very still, until finally, “That oath meant everything to me. Ren and I used to be at each other’s throats because of it when we were children. His father hated me because I was the one favored to take it.”

A pause was filled with more sizzling from the pan, now with what Rowan was pretty sure were fresh green onions. “There’s nothing that says you can’t take the oath, you know, Maeve has several blood-sworn members in her court.” Aelin said. “You can take it, and so can Ren – only if you want to, but…I won’t be upset if you don’t want to.”

“In Terrasen, there was only one.”

“Things change. New traditions for a new court. You can swear it right now if you wish.”

Against his will, Rowan felt his teeth grit together. This pause felt even longer than the others.

“Not now. Not until I see you crowned. Not until we can be in front of a crowd, in front of the world.”

Rowan couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved. He couldn’t begrudge Aedion the blood-oath, but still. He wanted Aelin to himself, for just a little bit longer.

Aelin dumped the mushrooms in the pan. “You’re even more dramatic than I am.”

Aedion snorted. “Hurry up with the eggs. I’m going to die of starvation.”

“Make the bacon, or you don’t get to eat any.”

Then the two cousins started to laugh, and this time, Rowan really couldn’t help the smile that sprang to his face. Their laugh was one of such old friendship, Rowan knew that he was no one to get between them. Knew that these petty disagreements were nothing to the depth of their relationship. The last two children of Terrasen’s throne. The two survivors.

Rowan breathed, then turned to rise from Aelin’s queenly mattress to see about some breakfast.

···

An hour later, they were all fed and watered and were now standing in a wide clearing among the stacks of crates, the late morning sunlight slanting through the windows near the high ceiling of the warehouse.

After breakfast, Rowan had finally gotten around to fortifying the apartment. Aelin had already done a pretty good job with it, heavy locks on all the windows, two types of barrier at each entrance, a carefully disguised exit down the back stairs hidden behind the kitchen, and a first floor that, for all intents and purposes, appeared to be that of a completely abandoned warehouse. There was no indication at all of what lay above.

From the inside anyways. There were six windows on the first floor, all half-width, and four more in the apartment above. Rowan was itching to scout the vantage points from the surrounding buildings, to check what could be seen from the outside.

But after spending half an hour carefully going over every lock and seal, Aelin had dragged him down to this clearing hidden in the center of the warehouse. And Rowan couldn’t deny that he was intrigued to see how Aelin had held up her training this past month, and to find out whether the northern wolf’s bark was worse than his bite.

Rowan and Aelin started with stretches, and after a few minutes she threw him a sparring stick and they started their routine warm up from those misty mornings in Wendlyn’s mountains, falling back into a pattern as warm and familiar as waking up in a bed suffused in her scent.

Sparring with Aelin was glorious. Even with the time spent holed up on the ocean, her movements were fluid and luscious and deadly. She flew between poses, the sparring stick a deadly extension of her arm.

Watching her move, their eyes locked together – it made him want to knock that sparring stick aside, shove her into a wall and peel off that tight black suit –

Rowan breathed deep, his eyes flickering shut for second. And the momentary distraction allowed Aelin to get behind his guard and rap him on the chest hard, her eyes glinting.

Rowan growled at her.

Aelin had always been a formidable swordsman – even during that time after he’d collected her from Varese, when she was drunk and dirty and so, so broken. However, she was now stuck in her human form.

So after a few minutes of easy sparring, Rowan executed a series of cuts and slashes that pushed her back into a defensive position, then when she was distracted finding her feet, Rowan knocked the stick out of her hands.

Aelin smiled wickedly at him, her eyes promising revenge as she turned to collect her sparring stick. Before she could unleash any of it on him, Rowan turned back towards her cousin, and after assessing his balance, strength and agility, began instructing him in a few complex maneuvers.

The male was tired, and clearly distracted by all that had been unveiled over the past few hours. And he was also in pain. He hid his grimaces as best he could, but every time a movement stretched his left side, his teeth would grit. And no matter how careful he was trying to be, his movements off his left side were slow and strained.

Rowan hid his exasperation best he could, even if he knew that Aelin had noticed the exact same details from across the clearing, and was not pleased with her cousin’s pigheadedness.

After half an hour with Aedion, Aelin stalked over from where she had been exercising and said, “I think that’s enough for today.”

Aedion stiffened, ready to make a rebuttal. Rowan held in his growl, his eyes flicking between the two cousins.

A moment passed in silence, then Aedion’s eyes narrowed, then turned back to Rowan. “I heard a story,” the young wolf drawled, “that you killed an enemy warlord using a table.”

Aelin spoke before he could, “Please,” she scoffed, “Who the hell told you that?”

“Quinn – your uncle’s Captain of the Guard. He was an admirer of Prince Rowan’s. He knew all the stories.”

Aelin’s eyes slid to meet Rowan’s, and he smirked at her, bracing the sparring stick on the floor. Her lips twitched, her eyes twinkling with surprise. “You can’t be serious,” she said. “What – you squashed him to death like a pressed grape?”

Rowan choked. “No, I didn’t squash him like a grape.” He shot her a smile. “I ripped the leg off the table and impaled him with it.”

“Clean through the chest and into the stone wall,” Aedion said.

“Well,” said Aelin, snorting, “I’ll give you points for resourcefulness, at least.”

Aedion rolled his neck. “Let’s get back to it.”

Aelin’s lips pursed, and she shot Rowan a look that said, Don’t you dare kill my cousin. Call it off.

However, Aedion wasn’t so slow-witted to miss the look that passed between them. The general’s jaw tightened even as his fingers tensed around the sparring stick. “I’m fine.”

“A week ago,” Aelin said, “you had one foot in the Afterworld. Your wound is still healing. We’re done for today, and you’re not coming out.”

“I know my limits, and I say I’m fine.” The demi-Fae’s words were tight, terse. Rowan found his lips spreading into a slow, sly grin. Aedion met his eyes, his brow tightening.

If he wanted to play, Rowan would play. The cub needed to be taught a lesson.

Aelin groaned, but kept her distance. Rowan found that he was grateful – if she intervened this time, it would take even longer for this to be resolved, and then who knows when it would finally be settled.

Rowan had nearly a full second’s warning before Aedion attacked, a simple feint to the right and swing low. Rowan dodged efficiently, deflecting and positioning to the offensive. Off-balance, Aedion swung his stick upwards on instinct, deflecting Rowan’s blow. Rowan let the young wolf hit the next blow, his lips tugging upwards almost against his will. This would be even easier than he had expected.

Rowan made to sweep Aedion’s legs out, but the wolf twisted out of the way just in time, stamping hard enough on Rowan’s stick to snap it in two and simultaneously making to swing his stick right into Rowan’s face.

Rowan ducked, grabbing the two halves of the stick in his fists and going low, swinging at the general’s legs. Aedion didn’t see the move coming, and had no time to react before he was flat on his back, gasping for breath and tears winking in the corners of his eyes as pain arced through the partially-healed wound in his side.

Rowan was already in place, one half of the stick pressed into the male’s throat, the other in his abdomen, a snarl echoing in his throat.

Aedion was just blinking beneath him, astounded. Rowan made sure his words were quiet enough that Aelin, with her human ears, couldn’t hear him. “Your queen gave you an order to stop – for your own good. Because she needs you healthy, and because it pains her to see you injured. Do not ignore her command next time.”

The muscles in Aedion’s jaw flickered, eyes blank.

Rowan’s eyes narrowed, fury licking at his bones. He pushed the sticks in a little bit harder. “And,” he added, “if you ever speak to her again the way you did last night, I’ll rip out your tongue and shove it down your throat. Understand?”

The general’s jaw seemed to relax slightly, the anger fading from his eyes. His words were hardly more than a breath, “Understood, Prince.”

Rowan stood and backed away, then whirled around as a bright, “Hello!” sounded from the doors to the warehouse.

A beautiful woman with piercing green eyes and flowing black hair was striding into the warehouse, her steps controlled and powerful, but not in the way of the warrior. More in the way of the wildcat.

This must be Lysandra.

Rowan relaxed slightly. Lysandra shut the rolling door behind her, boxes and bags in her arms. She moved like a cat too – soft and silent on the cobbles. No wonder Aelin was using her to spy on Arobynn for them.

She took two steps into the warehouse, then stopped in her tracks, her eyes meeting Rowan’s. Before they could do any more than look at each other, Aelin had stepped around him and was grabbing bags from Lysandra’s arms and steering her into to the apartment above.

Within half a minute they were both gone, the door behind them shutting with a soft click. Rowan turned back to Aedion, who was easing himself up from his sprawled position on the ground.

“Is that Lysandra?” Rowan asked.

“Not too bad on the eyes, is she?” The wolf’s eyes flashed.

Rowan snorted. “Why is she here?”

Aedion began prodding his side, checking to see if the stitches were still intact. “She probably has information about Arobynn.”

Rowan held in a grimace, shutting out the name of that bastard assassin to keep it from distracting him too much. “Yet she doesn’t want you to hear it?”

“I think she finds everyone but Aelin boring,” Aedion said, an edge in his voice. “Biggest disappointment of my life.”

But Rowan didn’t care about this arrogant male and his conquests. For the first time in a long time, she had found someone. Not a warrior, not a cousin. Someone she could keep for herself. He smiled, just a bit. “I’m glad she found a female friend.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Aedion’s brow furrow, wondering at the change. Rowan let the softness fall from his face, turning his gaze back to the prince. “Aelin’s court will be a new one, different from any other in the world, where the Old Ways are honored again. You’re going to learn them. And I’m going to teach you.”

This was why he was here, he reminded himself. To form the foundation of her court. To make sure it would be strong.

“I know the Old Ways.” Aedion scoffed.

“You’re going to learn them again.”

The general pulled himself off the ground, his shoulders set back as his expression steeled. “I’m the general of the Bane, and a prince of both Ashryver and Galathynius houses. I’m not some untrained foot soldier.”

Rowan gave a sharp nod, a concession. This was a prince – he could not forget. “My cadre, as Aelin likes to call them, was a lethal unit because we stuck together and abided by the same code. Maeve might be a sadist, but she ensured that we all understood and followed it. Aelin would never force us into anything, and our code will be different – better – than Maeve’s. You and I are going to form the backbone of this court. We will shape and decide our own code.”

“What? Obedience and blind loyalty?” Aedion wasn’t taking the olive branch, but Rowan wouldn’t let the sharpness in his tone get to him, not when he was so close.

He felt the weight of his words as he said, “To protect and serve.”

“Aelin?”

Rowan met Aedion’s eyes, and the wolf’s did not quaver. “Aelin. And each other. And Terrasen.”

Aedion held his gaze for another moment before looking away, but Rowan knew that the young demi-Fae understood. That Aedion knew that what they were daring was something that no one had dared for a very long time. If ever. And that their success would require more than just strength or bravery or strategy.

That this precious, fleeting thing could be stronger than iron, than rock, than the very mountains thrust up from the depths of the earth.

But only if they forged it together.

···

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···

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Kim Jin Won: Interview with Kankoku TV Drama vol. 97 (Aug 2020)

Director Kim Jin Won

A transformative drama about the birth and founding of the Joseon nation. Spinning a tale of the common people.

Director Kim Jin Won has been recognized for his delicate and heartwarming productions such as "The Innocent Man" (2012 KBS) and "Wonderful Days" (2014 KBS). From the time he first dreamed of directing dramas, he thought of telling stories from the point of view of ordinary people rather than from the viewpoint of the rich and blessed. It was the same for “My Country” (2019 JTBC), which was the director’s first time managing a full-scale historical drama. Although the theme was the founding of Korea, the starring roles were not famous figures such as Yi Seong-gye and Yi Bang-won, but the common folk at the lowest rungs of history. A human drama performed by fresh young stars and historical facts are exquisitely entwined to create a dynamic historical production.

The contrast of Se-jong and Do-hwan as they unveil expectation-shattering performances

--What is the story behind how you became the director for “My Country”?

KJW: Can I speak frankly? To tell you the truth, I don’t really like historical dramas. But when I read the synopsis, it seemed very interesting. It was refreshing to have well-known figures such as Yi Seong-gye and Yi Bang-won play supporting roles in a story about the early days of Joseon. Instead, it pulls the story from the point of view of the commoners. While reading the script, I understood what regular people were thinking during the founding of the nation. That was interesting to me and I agreed to take on the production.

--When talking about the closing years of Goryeo to the early days of Joseon, aren't there essential people or events that have to appear?

KJW: We also thought it would be more interesting for Jeong Mong-ju (🔺1) and Jeong Do-jeon (🔺2) to make appearances, for they are indispensable to this era. The scale of the story would become larger and more dramatic. However, if we did that, it would be too similar to other works, so I abandoned the idea. First, the scriptwriter and I promised to not distort historical facts, and following this guiding principle, we developed the story.

(🔺1) Jeong Mong-ju (鄭夢周): A Confucian scholar and literary vassal who made a name for himself in the late Goryeo period. Yi Seong-gye and Jeong Do-jeon, who aim to establish a new country, oppose him. While planning their assassinations, Mong-ju himself is assassinated by Yi Bang-won's aides.

(🔺2) Jeong Do-jeon (鄭道伝): A politician who exercised his talents as an aide to Yi Seong-gye. He plays a major role in the founding of Joseon and the early national administration. He comes into conflict with Yi Bang-won, who was trying to succeed his father and become the king, and is subsequently killed.

--On the other hand, there are also fictional characters such as Seo Hwi (played by Yang Se-jong), Nam Seon-ho (played by Woo Do-hwan), and Han Hui-jae (played by Seol-hyun <AOA>).

KJW: Yes. Hwi and Hui-jae are characters we created from scratch. We researched how the common people lived during the founding of Joseon and the civil war that is known as the “Strife of the Princes”, and came up with these fictional characters. Nam Jeon, the antagonist and Seon-ho’s father (played by Ahn Nae-sang), was created by mixing together the real historical figures of Jeong Do-jeon and Nam Eun (🔺3). If anything, there are more elements of Nam Eun than Jeong Do-jeon. Nam Eun had several sons, but we made a single motif out of them and created Seon-ho. However, all his rebellious opposition to his father was our invention.

(🔺3) Nam Eun: A politician who was active from late Goryeo to the beginning of the Joseon era. He supports Yi Seong-gye with Jeong Do-jeon and contributes to the founding of Korea. However, Yi Bang-won launches the civil war that is called the "First Strife of Princes" and there Nam Eun loses his life.

--At the drama’s press conference, you told us about your dream casting.

KJW: Previously I produced “Just Between Lovers” (2017 JTBC) and wanted to cast Yang Se-jong as one of the main characters, however, during the preparation stage, that character was removed and I wasn’t able to make him an offer. Ever since, I’ve kept a close watch. Looking at Se-jong, he has a soft image and seems suited for melodramas, but in reality, he’s very manly and even handles his own action scenes. The character Hwi is adept at martial arts and is intelligent, but behind the scenes, he was a difficult character who carried an extraordinary amount of loneliness and heartache. When I met Se-jong, just as he was, I could see Hwi’s painful silhouette, and on the spot, I proposed that we work together.

--And what about Woo Do-hwan?

KJW: A long time ago, I asked my industry peers if there were any actors that were attracting attention recently, and that’s how I learned about Woo Do-hwan. At that time, he was a real newcomer with only two works in his filmography. To tell you the truth, Seon-ho’s casting was nerve-wracking. If the other actor can’t match Se-jong’s presence, then it’s difficult for a story that is spearheaded by dual male leads. After worrying over it, Do-hwan came out as the top contender and I made him an offer.

--How were the two on set?

KJW: They are the same age, but they are completely different types. Se-jong is the type of actor who acts after his emotions boil out of him. His emotions won’t emerge if he isn’t convinced, so he needs time to immerse himself in the role and empathize with the character. Do-hwan is the opposite; he is the type who enters the character instantly. Their styles differ but that difference created a transformative, synergistic effect. Se-jong said that one of his few friends was Do-hwan; they went as far as becoming best friends. They often came to me and talked about how they learned a lot from each other.

--During filming, at what point did you feel their charisma?

KJW: First of all, the scene where Se-jong was dragged off to jail was a performance that truly exceeded my expectations. He struck his head against the wall and was suffering, but his eyes! They were eyes that you can’t take a second time. Afterwards, I saw that his forehead was red and swollen. For Do-hwan, it was when we filmed the scene where his haggard figure was seated after Hwi’s sister, Yeon (played by Cho I-hyeon), experienced a traumatic episode. During rehearsal, tears spilled out of Do-hwan’s eyes. I didn’t expect him to cry; I immediately stopped the rehearsal and switched to filming. I thought that the actors properly captured the emotions; I told them to play those two scenes as they wanted to. Their performances were realistic and absolutely heart-wrenching.

Regrets for the limited romantic kiss scene

-- At what point did you feel Seol-hyun’s appeal and pick her for the role?

KJW: Casting the role of Hui-jae was a bit difficult. The drama was male-centric, and there was no clear romance. Be that as it may, even though the role is to become Hwi and Seon-ho’s emotional support, I thought that it had to be an actor that everyone understood. If it were Seol-hyun, she would give a skillful performance.

-- Seol-hyun’s performance received particularly good reviews.

KJW: I’m the most glad about that. During the middle of the broadcast, we held a press conference and from the very beginning, the reporters paid her many compliments. Without a doubt, her popularity increased with this work. She had a strong desire to do well, and together we discussed it and made it happen. In particular, Seol-hyun’s charms shone especially bright in the scenes with Seo Seol (played by Jang Young-nam), who manages the brothel.

-- There is one more main character: what is the story behind casting Jang Hyuk for the role of Yi Bang-won?

KJW: This casting was also very stressful. This drama was so nerve-wracking that you could say casting took up more than half the effort. In particular, Yi Bang-won is a figure that symbolizes this era, so I want an actor with a powerful presence to play the role. Otherwise, the scale will shrink and Yi Bang Won’s charisma as he faces the main characters will disappear in the second half. If you watch the drama, you’ll know that Yi Bang-won is involved in everything: he is in conflict with Seon-ho; he develops a close rapport with Hwi; and he fights for power with Yi Seong-gye and Nam Jeon. It requires an actor with profound emotions. The first person who came to mind was Jang Hyuk.

-- While filming, when was the moment that you thought ‘as expected’?

KJW: Jang Hyuk can dominate the screen with just the look in his eyes, without having to say a word. Also, he is as erudite as a historian, so I had an easy time as the director. The most memorable scene is the one with his father, Yi Seong-gye (played by Kim Yeong-cheol). In the scene where the two of them argued over the throne, initially I thought they would show a top-down hierarchy between a father and son. However, after rehearsal, Jang Hyuk and Kim Yeong-cheol were able to portray their relationship on equal footing. Man versus man. There was no discussion, it was a spontaneous expression. I could clearly see that Yi Bang-won was facing his father as a man. I thought it was excellent.

-- From the young to the veteran, the appeal of the actors was outstanding, and I enjoyed the male friendships.

KJW: First of all, what’s wonderful about Kim Yeong-cheol and An Nae-sang is that anyone who performs alongside those two ends up looking better. They only have to stand on the side, and it makes the other person look cool. Even Jang Hyuk, who is already strong enough, doubled in appeal when he was with them. After that, Jang Hyuk gave a lot of advice to his juniors. In the drama he was taciturn, but in reality he is quite talkative (laugh). Whenever he thought he didn’t have to be on set, he was always talking to his juniors by the side of the car that was used as the make-up room. Male friendships are good, but it’s just that I wanted to show more romance.

-- You mean Hwi and Hui-jae’s romance?

KJW: Yes. It wasn’t easy to incorporate the romance because the scale of each episode was so large. The only thing I was particular about was when Hwi was first taken to the battlefield--instead of remembering his sister, Yeon, he remembers Hui-jae. When I went to military service and woke up in the morning at the training center, the first thing that came to my mind wasn’t my family but my girlfriend (laugh). In the end, I changed it so that Hwi remembers both Yeon and Hui-jae. This was because Hwi is in a unique situation where he doesn’t know how Yeon is doing.

-- What about Hwi and Hui-jae’s first kiss scene?

KJW: I also have a lot of regrets concerning that scene. It was the first important kiss scene, but it took place in such a crappy little room! Hwi being beaten up, his lumpy face, and the shabby location are what I remember when I think about that scene. The art director and I did our best to film it as beautifully as possible. Otherwise, Hwi and Hui-jae’s feelings won’t be conveyed properly to the audience.

-- The early scene of paper lanterns soaring into the sky was also beautiful.

KJW: I put a lot of effort into that. It was the only happy time I could give Hwi before he heads out for the battle called the Liaodong Conquest. The script only called for flying kites, but I thought it would be unnatural to fly kites from day until night. After worrying about it, I ultimately decided to fly paper lanterns at night. The atmosphere was romantic, which was very nice.

Putting your heart and soul into the battlefield scenes

The trouble with bows and arrows in acting and film

-- You put in a remarkable amount of effort, not just for the romance scenes but also for the war scenes?

KJW: I poured the most effort into this part. There are a total of three battle scenes, but I filmed them all over six days. Of those, I focused the most on the scene for the Liaodong conquest. Hwi is suddenly taken to the battlefield, he’s bewildered and confused as to why he’s there, and he has to survive. I decided to film in one continuous take in order to highlight the figure of Hwi fighting without knowing the situation he’s in, but an entire day was gone just from checking the flow lines of the cameras and actors…It was an enormous challenge for me. It was very difficult.

-- It was also impressive that bow and arrows were used as the main weapons instead of swords.

KJW: When I first spoke to the screenwriter, I wanted to take a different approach from other historical dramas, so I chose bow and arrow. However, that was the start of my troubles. Swords look cool and film well when you swing them around, but you can’t do that with bows and arrows. This time, I realized this while shooting. The actors also had a lot of trouble. Drawing the bow requires considerable power, so when they spoke their lines, their hands would quiver. Luckily they were all skilled at action and did a great job carrying it out.

-- One month after the start of filming, you regretfully asked yourself, “Why did I decide to do a historical drama?” (laugh) Was this because of the battle scene from before?

KJW: No. I didn’t have regrets during that time. It was during the appearance of the children. Two child actors played the queen’s (played by Park Ye-jin) sons. They only appear a few times in the drama, but for the sake of that scene, those two suffered a lot. I’m a father with a child their age, so it was really heart-breaking. When I was an assistant director, I shot a historical drama and I realized that it didn’t suit me, but unfortunately, over time I forgot. Hahaha.

--Seems like you really value the actors. When viewing the making video, the actors are often heard voicing their opinions.

KJW: That’s not always the case (embarrassed laugh). “My County” had many large-scale scenes, so I communicated the way I would with a contemporary drama. In particular, I had all kinds of discussions with the protagonists Se-jong, Do-hwan, and Seol-hyun. Thanks to this, the burden on each other was lightened, and we were able to save time during filming. After listening to the opinions of all the actors, I have an image of the scene before I film. However, for important scenes, I felt that I should capture the emotions the actors are trying to express rather than just capturing beautiful images.

--This is your second drama since transferring to JTBC. What is the story behind your transfer?

KJW: I wanted to continue directing. KBS is also a very good company and I learned many things there. But as any organization gets older, the time comes when you have to move to the next step on the ladder. It goes from director to producer, then from producer to a desk. I transferred because I still had a strong desire to be in the field instead of in a managerial position.

--What are your plans now?

KJW: I don’t have any plans yet, but I’m joking with the staff that my next project will be set in Seoul, so they don’t have to go to the countryside and practically live there (like for “My Country”), hahaha. There is a project that I want to create for myself. A bright and healing work. After I transferred companies, I was told I could do what I want, so the first thing I filmed was the drama “Just Between Lovers”. After that, someday at least once, I want to try making a drama about the story of the Sewol issue. Nothing exciting, but the kind of story that heals the trauma.

#kim jin won #my country the new age #mctna #woo do hwan #yang se jong #seol hyun #nam seon ho #seo hwi #han hui jae #japanese translation #interview #韓国TVドラマ #yi bang won #jang hyuk

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multiverseoffandoms-blog · 4 years

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Infatuation // G.W pt.1

A/N: This is part 1 of my George in love with his brothers girlfriend series. Let me know if you guys enjoy it. Warnings: Maybe angst, fluff? Poor writing, I dunno haha. Paring: Fred x female!Reader, George x female!Reader

If George was certain of anything in his life, it was of his infatuation over you. From first year watching you stumble down the Great Hall steps to the Gryffindor table after being sorted into your house, all the way up to the present. He was undecided about a lot when it came to choices, but he had be certain about you since the moment he laid eyes on you. And his first glance was never his last.

He tried to keep to himself, but he would be lying if he said that whenever you graced a room with your presence that it didn’t bring him an unbelievable amount of joy. If he noticed you in the court yard, laughing with some Hufflepuff friends, his steps would falter as his orbs fixated on you; your hair that seemed to dance against the evening breeze, the sun hitting your eyes at just the right angle to make them sparkle. You took his breath away almost every time he saw you.

Of course, his twin brother, Fred, would you be paying attention and would collide with his brother back, unknowing that he had stopped in his tracks. And Fred would follow his brothers gaze, grinning widely before dragging George over to you.

And why wouldn’t he? Why wouldn’t Fred be excited to spend every waking minute with you.. his girlfriend. -

It was another excitement filled Friday evening at Hogwarts, with most students still riled up from the arrival of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students all here to try their luck at becoming a representative champion for each school during the Triwizard Tournament. As Dumbledore had announced at the assembly — much to everyone’s objections — because of the severity each task held, no student under the age of seventeen had been permitted to enter their name.

A small group gathered in the Gryffindor common room, “inner circle only” if you will, as everyone fussed and chattered about the upcoming tournament. Most of the people sat in the room consisted of under seventeens, including George who wasn’t impressed with the rule at all, so majority of the conversations were souly based off “what if!”

George was sat on the arm rest of the hideously red couch that was placed strategically in front of the fire place, a few other chairs being dragged around to fit everyone. His arms sat crossed against his chest as he listened to the chatter around him. From the place beside him, Fred spoke.

“Absolute rubbish if you ask me!” He shouted, earning a few cheers around him. The two brothers had agreed to enter their names into the goblet as soon as they heard about it, so it was safe to say that their plan was a bust.

“I guess it’s a good thing no ones asking you then is it, Weasley!” George nearly fell to the floor when he heard your voice carry through the room. Most of his peers seemed to laugh loudly at your comment, but all he noticed was the light that drew itself to you as you bounced down into the common room. Fred moved slightly, lifting a couch cushion before throwing it in your direction. George watched you dodge it with ease, before bringing yourself over and plopping yourself practically into his twins lap. “Serotonin gone,” He thought to himself as he got to his feet, deciding that the far wall would be much more welcoming.

“I’ve seen that look before,” Hermione spoke from beside George. She had unknowingly frightened him, causing him to jump from the sudden conversation.

“Merlins beard Granger, do you think you could make yourself known next time?” “I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t moping around like a wounded animal!” She grumbled, snapping her book closed and turning her eyes onto him. They said nothing, George refusing to break first and speak what he was sure the young witch already knew..

He was in love with his brothers girlfriend.

“Boys,” she spat it out like she already knew everything there was to know about the male species. Being the smartest witch of her age, George didn’t doubt that she did — or was fairly close — to knowing everything. George gave himself only moments to weigh the pros and cons of his situation and how it could go wrong if he were to speak the truth out loud. He thought about what would happen IF she were to tell anyone, but the voice in his head reminded him of why Harry and Ron trusted her so much; she could keep their most deepest truths to herself. “Okay, fine,” George finally spoke, and when he did Hermione turned her whole body to him. She looked up to him, a sad smile setting itself on her lips. “Harry looks the same way when he sees Ginny with Dean,” she added. George sighed, nodding his head as he crossed his arms over his chest again, kicking absentmindedly at the floor. He felt stupid, harbouring a crush on his twin brothers girlfriend. Hogwarts was filled with so many beautiful women that he couldn’t even explain it, and yet the only one he had ever wanted was with his brother. It was completely wrong on so many levels..

“I heard they’re not “together”” she was sure to put air quotations around the word ‘‘together.’ George huffed as a sort of half laugh, turning his attention back to you. He watched as you sat beside Ron, laughing loudly as you tried to convince him to take the sweets you had offered him. From where he stood, he could tell they were hiccough sweets, and he couldn’t fight the smile that crept onto his face.

He sighed again, turning back to Hermione. “Even if they’re not.. together. That doesn’t mean they’re still not.. involved.” He cringed at the thought.

“And how are you so sure that what they have just isn’t a comfortable friendship?” The two Gryffindor’s turned their attention back to where you and Fred danced around, the crowd laughing loudly as Ron exploded into a fit of hiccoughs.

“Have I upset you?” You asked out of curiosity when you found George. He was sat tucked away by the restricted section in the library, books sprawled over the desk in front of him. He pulled his attention from his parchment, before meeting your eyes with a confused frown. “I don’t believe so, but if you know something I don’t know then please-” George gestured to the spare seat beside him. “-do take a seat and explain my dear,” he grinned up at you, giving you a wink as you challenged his stare. Finally, you caved and plonked yourself down in the seat beside him, pivoting your body so you faced him.

“I do know, that you’ve been lacking on your pranks, and have been less annoying that you usually are. So, what’s the deal Georgie? You sick?” You reached out and placed the back of your hand against his forehead, not missing the way he relaxed at your touch. You pretended to study his features for a bit, before pulling back and sitting upright. “Just as I suspected, you’re completely fine. Which leaves absolutely no reason as to why my best friend has been avoiding me!” Your voice had raised a level, and you were only just aware of how dramatic you were being. George seemed to panic, and for a split second you thought you were actually right and that he had been avoiding you. It made no sense, George was your best friend and together yours wrecked havoc on the stud not body together, not to mention the professors. You two had a bond unlike most, it was actually George who you were friends with first. You loved him, just as you loved the rest of the Weasley family. He pulled out his potions book, flicking it open to a random page before turning it to you, indicating that this is why he had been so distant. You frowned, sitting forward to take the book from him. A moments silence passed, before you brought your attention back to him. “And what does an ageing potion have to do with anything?” You asked. For the second time that evening, his eyes widened as he searched his mind for an excuse.

“I’ve had a theory, and it’s probably so dimwitted that it’s absolutely brilliant!” You nodded for him to continue.

“Dumbledore cast an age line around the goblet. Well - and again this is just a theory - if I make this potion correctly, it’ll age Fred and I and we’ll be able to add our names into the tournament!”

He spoke so casually, like it wasn’t probably the most dumbest idea he had had. You eyed him, before bursting into laughter. Tears fell from your eyes as you tried to contain your laughs, but every time you looked at George you would lose your composure all over again. George smiled beside you, his eyes on you, watching every move.

“I’m sorry George, really. I didn’t mean to laugh.” You told him, wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. “In retrospect, an ageing potion does seem like the correct way to go - if your trying to make yourself older. But this time, there’s obstacles in the way of just a simple ageing potion, what once was a simple task, could now be rather dangerous George. This could have serious consequences.”

George propped his arm up on the desk, before leaning his head onto his palm. He pouted his bottom lip out at you, and you tried to ignore how his sweet puppy dog face made the butterflies in your stomach stir.

“Are you worried about me, y/n?” He teased, reaching out to tuck your hair behind your ears so he could see all your face. You were vaguely aware of how inappropriate the situation was, knew that any bystander would definitely mistake the situation for something it’s not if they happened to pass by at this moment.

“Would they be able to tell that George isn’t Fred?” As soon as you thought it, you wanted to backhand yourself.

You watched as George dropped his hand from your hair, his knuckles brushing gently against the side of your face, as he let his hand fall to rest on your knee. The energy in the room seemed to shift almost instantly, the tension so thick it almost chocked you.

You swallowed against your drying throat, your eyes locking onto the boy in front of you. He was a mirror of his brother, and yet at the same time almost everything was different about him. To the small freckle on the side of his neck, all the way down to his face structure. George was a few mill shorter than Fred to.

“George..” you warned, your voice barely above a soft whisper.

“I heard that you and Fred aren’t together-” he started.

“You’ve heard wrong, George.” Okay, it wasn’t a complete lie. Although you and Fred weren’t exactly official, the two of you were still respectively loyal to one another. You couldn’t tell people that though, especially not George. Imagine the rumours that would circulate if you jumped from one Weasley to another! “If I’m so wrong, then why haven’t you moved?”

He was right.

This was wrong.

Everything about it was so completely messed up that you knew you had to stop it.

And yet you made no move to do so.

“Tell me to stop,” George almost pleaded, like he was fighting with himself to. He had to know that every aspect of this situation was wrong. You sat in silence as you watched his slender fingers dance along your thigh, the feather touch he had causing goosebumps to erupt across your skin. His hands were warm, his palm resting against the inside of your thigh while his fingers fiddled with the bottom of your skirt. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears, and you were sure George could to. He had shifted closer to you, his long orange locks falling over his face as he watched you through his lashes. It would be a lie to say you weren’t attracted to him, that his movements didn’t cause a wetness to pool just behind your clothed core. You felt his breath fan across your face when you shifted in your seat to try and relieve some of the friction building between your legs. He was so close to you, nearly close enough to..

You sat back, reaching down to take his hand in yours. George’s lust blown eyes met yours, and he was reminded instantly just who you were and the severity of the matter. What was he thinking?

Better yet, what were YOU thinking?

“I’m flattered George,” your voice was harsh, probably due to the fact that every bit of saliva had dried from your mouth and made it nearly impossible for you to speak. “But we shouldn’t,” you stood, holding his hand a second longer before releasing his hold. “I look forward to seeing how your ageing potion turns out.”

He wanted to throw himself off the astronomy tower, his face was nearly as red as his hair. He was so embarrassed. He hadn’t known what came over him, one moment he was looking at you, admiring how beautiful he thought you were, and the next he was trying to cop a feel right in the library. And the most absurd thing; you hadn’t acted instantly to stop him!

He pulled himself to his feet, hurriedly shoving his books into his bag before leaving the library to find Fred. The ageing potion had been an irrational thought souley conjured in that moment to impress you. If he was being honest, he had no idea the repercussions the plan could have. He just wanted to seem cool to you. Never would he think that you would actually want to see it. So he set off to search for his brother and fill him in on his idea - leaving out the part about you of course - and hoping that you hadn’t told him what his brother just tried to do.

He needed to sort out his priorities.

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