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somesecretpie · 1 month

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I am looking for a human host!

Are you bored?

Are you lonely and bored?

Do you have a lot of time on your hands?

Do you have hands?

I’m offering you a proposal, with potential financial compensation for your troubles. It may sound off putting at first blush, but hear me out. I am looking for a human host. And I mean a “willing” human host who might be willing to give up some of their time to help out an odd fellow that doesn’t have hands or blood.

Am I asking to control your body? Yes. Sometimes. You’ll still be there, but taking the backseat. Now you’re probably thinking “That sounds no fun! I don’t want to spend all my time riding shotgun.”

And that’s valid.

But you all spend about half of the day unconscious anyway. Your body is just there, doing nothing—a complete waste. As for me, I don’t sleep (haha), so we could have it so that during the day, I will graciously let you do fun human things, and at night, I’ll do whatever. And by whatever, I mean perfectly safe, perfectly reasonable activities.

I don’t drink, and I rarely go outside.

I enjoy baking, I look at pictures of birds online, I’ve been getting into neuroscience lately. Very interesting stuff. You’re all very interesting.

And maybe you’re still thinking “Hey now, I don’t want some random mind-controlling thingy hauling my body around in my sleep, “Weekend at Bernie’s Style” to which I say, you’re no fun and you’re not the kind of person I want to live with anyway.

“But I’m a light sleeper!” you say.

Don’t worry! I can isolate your somatosensory cortex so you can’t feel anything.

“But my family will think it’s weird!” you say.

Don’t worry! You don’t have to tell them.

Actually, I would prefer that you don’t tell anyone. Please.

And should anyone question me, I’m not bad at impressions. I’ll get really good at a “you” impression, it’ll be the first thing I do!

I know this all sounds very strange and potentially unpleasant, but remember the financial compensation that may or may not be happening. Hell, I’ll even do some of your chores if you like, while you sleep. You can wake up and the dishes will be done, laundry folded and coffee made. Doesn’t that sound nice? And then you open the fridge and oh, what’s this? Someone baked banana bread last night (that was me, I baked banana bread last night.)

Now I should say, I don’t have a lot of standards, I really don’t. But I do (unfortunately) have some, so let’s just get them out of the way before I waste your time.

Please do not contact me if you have any of the following:

- Anemia: Sorry, it’s just not going to work out. I can pay for iron supplements, but I can’t work miracles.

-A weak immune system: I don’t like getting sick, I’m sorry. It’s gross, sick people are gross. I mean I know it’s not your fault, but healthy folks only please.

-A strong immune system: Yes, I know what I just said, but I also don’t want to be attacked by your immune system. So maybe you’re not the picture of health, but you’re just kind of okay. I’m looking for someone who is just kind of okay.

-A penchant for alcohol: It makes me feel strange…

-A name that starts with a P: I’m not the greatest at “speaking.” It’s hard, moving air through your throat and moving your tongue and your mouth at the same time. You all do it so easy—can’t say I’m not envious! I’m the worst at making the “P” sound.

I intentionally avoid any "p word" in conversation, and get by well enough, but I’ll look pretty foolish if I’m cavorting about, pretending to be you, and I can’t even say your name!

Those are my standards, but really, other than that, I’ll take anyone.

I don’t care if you’re male or female or anything in between.

I don’t care if you’re gay.

I don’t care if you’re smart.

I don’t care if you don’t have a lawyer.

There are so many things that I don’t care about.

Now, I’ve specified all the ways in which I could compensate you and how our relationship will be not in any way problematic, but I want to stress that, above all things, I am looking for a friend.

Someone I can spend quiet evenings with.

If you want to hang out with me during the day, that’s great! I can give you fun hallucinations. Or you could have hallucinations the normal way, like by reading, like what you’re doing now. I love to read! I love doing funny voices. I wonder what you think I sound like?

I hope I sound nice.

And one of the best things about me is I’m very quiet. No one else will be able to hear me except you. I’ll be like your own personal friend that only you know. Like a secret friend. And you don’t even have to talk to me because I can read your thoughts.

I suppose I should tell you a bit more about myself, since you’re still reading.

I was born in the Everglades, I think. It’s been awhile.

But I remember being so cold…

And so alone...

But then I met this sweaty man in a colorful tee-shirt, with a camera, and half a granola bar, and with blood so hot.

So yeah, he was my first host, and I’ll admit, we weren’t the best of friends. It was a confusing time for both of us. I was confused. He was confused. What happened was really both of our faults, you could say…

He was a bird watcher, if I recall correctly. Just watched birds all the time. I thought it might have been out of jealousy—watching those little things flying around makes you feel kind of stuck. I felt stuck.

So I decided to be a bird for a while to see if it was really all it’s cracked up to be. Squished myself into the body of this lovely American crow. We settled down, built a nest, and laid several nice, healthy eggs with a man-bird by the name of “Richard Baxter.”

He was a very proud bird, very large. And he gave me so many wonderful gifts. Like children, and also small pieces of plastic.

I still have all of them.

The plastic, not the children.

I’d never been so happy, all these hormones had me consumed in the joy of motherhood, but the crow’s health was failing. I could not sustain myself—it’s pathetic little heart beat weaker and weaker.

I tried starving, I tried everything I could, I wanted to be a bird so bad. But it just wasn’t working out.

The bird stopped working.

The other crows held a funeral service for me, even though I was still alive. I tried to tell them, but I’m not good at speaking, you remember.

It was all just a big mess.

I haven't seen Baxter since, but I still think about him a lot.

Is that weird?

I’m totally over it though, haha.

After that incident, I got kind of depressed... I possessed a lot of trash animals—gulls, racoons, and salespeople. I did what I could to survive. That’s kind of where I am now.

I am currently living in Miami florida—been body surfing almost every day (haha). Right now I’m using a library computer and a librarian. She does not like being possessed, boy howdy are these fingers twitching. But you can thank her for my halfway decent grammar.

I’m tired of feeling like a parasite.

I want to try a different approach.

I want to be friends? Like with Richard Baxter except I also live in your brain and drink your blood sometimes. But I’ll make you bread in your sleep, so it’s okay.

It’s been really hard finding someone willing to put up with me.

I’ve tried everything.

So I thought I would put up an advertisement online, why not?

Can’t say the P word in real life, but you can hear it in your head loud enough I hope.

I know I kept saying that I would compensate you financially, but I’m going to be real with you, I don’t have much. I’ve got like twenty bucks, some small pieces of plastic and a book about...finance....

But I’m a real hoot! ;D

So,

(P)lease,

If you are interested, leave your comments below. I would love to get to know you :)

I need to go now, the library is closing soon, but I’ll get back as soon as I can.

#short fiction #short story #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #this is a story I posted on reddit a few years ago #and I'm reposting it here #Pie writes #parasite #mind control parasite #yeerk #animorphs #body snatcher #nosleep #r/nosleep

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originalartblog · 3 months

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Apparently much-needed reminder that reposting artists' art (by saving the images or screenshotting them and reuploading them yourself) on other platforms without the artists' expressed permission and without credit is theft and an insult to their passion and craft. You are profiting (in views, in attention, in feedback) from someone else's work and ideas, who do not get that feedback for sharing their creation.

If you are an art reposter, you are a thief and I have no respect for you.

#learn basic internet etiquette i am begging but also holding a knife. yes i'm mad. more about others than myself.#do you know how many artists i have seen leave social media because their art started being reposted all over?#tip: way too fucking many #i've had many people tell me about people reposting my art on tiktok #no one ever asked to repost my art on tiktok. ever. they just save super fried bad crunchy jpegs of my art and repost them #they get 20k likes and don't even bother naming me #also a reason i started signing my name more legibly and why my blog web address is always there but apparently no one can even read that #a few people got an ok for translations on other platforms though #i'm going to be annoying with this post and reblog it a few times to try to catch the people who apparently need to be told #tiny skk adventures #nawy's comics #nawy's doodles #apparently those are reposters' favourites so here look at this

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maatdraws · 11 months

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ZZzzzZZZzzz...

#steddie #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #fanart #myart #MY SOFTIES #reposting old art on here #sorry tumblr i'm tryg my best to be active on here too #full of blorbos incoming

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mister-sol · 11 months

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more jayvik sketches. in this one viktor has cat ears because I said so

#this is one of my favorites so I'm glad to be reposting it #if you're wondering I posted most of these to my twitter back in like 2021 or something but I purged the entirety of my account #so I'm just going to archive them here on tumblr #I havent got shit to post either so uhh enjoy my content recycling #jayvik #arcane fanart #viktor arcane #jayce talis #arcane #My Sketches

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sergle · 7 months

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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon

#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays #if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone #because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page #but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source #because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it #and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but #on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway #someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those #if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link #to my etsy #I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside #like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth #like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back #or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info #about what the art is and who made it and their links #I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful #and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited #but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue #reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing #as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen!#that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB #A JOB!!!!!!!!!!#sergle.txt #I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark

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fangswbenefits · 7 months

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Omg.......

#ruby rambles ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾#I'm only posting it here cause the artist allows reposts with credit 🩷

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josukkes · 7 months

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Loid + Bond teamup!

#sxf #spy x family #sxfedit #loid forger #bond forger #gifs #*#yes this is a repost. I accidentally deleted the og post. I should Probably go to bed #anyway sorry for the not being here as much! I'm currently going through The Horrors

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t-u-i-t-c · 1 month

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ROBIN FURUYA as Takashi Iwanaga Love is Better the Second Time Around (2024) │01x04

#love is better the second time around #koi wo suru nara nidome ga joto #robin furuya #furuya robin #takashi iwanaga #iwanaga takashi #jdramaedit #userdramas #please do not repost #umbrella.gifs #umbrella.edits #umbrella.posts #i'm going to need him to calm down #made so many gifs for this episode which i'll use some of them later but here's his set for this week :)

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etrosgate · 7 months

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easily my most controversial post on twitter dot com

#my post #i'm really taking a risk reposting this here. i got some of the most annoying replies of my life on this post #but the post Was funny. so i don't regret it #ffxiv

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mikesbasementbeets · 3 months

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byler in every episode -> 2.09. the gate

#please do not repost without credit #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #stedit #strangerthingsedit #mikesbasementgifs #byler in every episode #hi pls don't @ me re: mike's breakdown being about el. it is multifaceted To Me. also i wanted to gif it and it's my gifset #also i'm never giffing the snow ball again. miserable miserable coloring i spent way too long on these. cyan hellscape #theyre too cute in their little dance outfits though #anyway that's all for season 2 folks!!!!!! season 3 here we come!!!!!

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violentlydefending · 2 years

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this poem’s for the birds

[Image description by @dianbalpin-0p: A comic about Flapjack and Hunter from The Owl House. It starts with Gus opening a curtain saying: "And now...poetry!", he then closes the curtain and opens it again immediately as he continues saying: "...By Flapjack." The curtain then opens to show Flapjack sitting on a stool with a microphone in front of him. He says "Ahem." and then starts repeating the word "tweet" multiple times. Hunter, who is wearing his Golden Guard uniform, is sitting at a table looking at Flapjack with a fond expression as he sighs and says: "He has such a way with words." Willow, Luz and Amity can be seen sitting at the tables next to Hunter. Willow is staring at him with a neutral expression, while Luz and Amity stare at him with confused expressions. /End description]

#art sideblog posts aren't showing up anymore so i'm gonna try reposting it here #contra art #toh #the owl house #hunter #flapjack #gus porter #willow park #luz noceda #amity blight #toh flapjack #toh hunter #lumity #owl house hunter #owl house flapjack #the owl house fanart #toh fanart

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lynaferns · 1 year

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Been honest, I was kinda hesitant of posting this.

It's an old comic about a theory I had of what truly happens after Moon catches Gregory in Security Breach, becasuse Moon has something different in his jumpscare that inspired me to make this.

Mar 26 2022

Pt 1

The rest is under the cut, long post

Pt 2

Pt 3

All the Pts without the page cuts

and that's the last time I used this type of lineart

Moon's the only one who never touches Gregory, everyone else grabs him and/or shakes him but Moon has the tickle fingy thing and got me thinking "what if he doesn't kill Gregory in the spot but brings him to vanny instead because virus/hacked?"

I made a drawing explaining better my idea of how it works for reddit, I'm not so sure of it anymore, but if you want to take a look at it, here

Also, a little comic about what happened while I was finishing the Pt 1 + the bonus

#my art #old art #digital art #comic #fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #fnaf moon #fnaf gregory #fnaf vanny #oc #my persona #fuck it I'm posting this now #I'm gonna start to speedrun reposting my old drawings #I counted art for 13 more posts but I have to edit the watermarks #and I have to really decide if posting all of them here or not #because I made an artdump back then and some of the unfinished art wasn't bad #idk idk

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larzuen · 3 months

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WH x Sanrio collab when /j

#just reposting stuff here #I'm so inactive here I'm sorry 😭#welcome home #welcome home fanart #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #wally x barnaby #sanrio

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harundraws · 4 months

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♫ Babeyyyyyyyyyyy, I'm your man (don't you know that?) You bet! If you're gonna do it, do it right! Do it with meeeeeeeee ♪ ... pocket-sized Tai and Van so it's easier to keep them safe 😊

#yellowjackets #van palmer #taissa turner #taivan #yellowjackets fanart #harun art #some art during the breaks i take when i'm not working on a commission #there's this edit of van with this song and it's just! it's stuck on my mind #and ppl are right #that song is van's song!!#ugh if i don't find it on tumblr i'll repost it here (crediting the og editor/creator ofc)#i'm gonna do a second set with 1996 tai and van with their outfits right after the crash later #also maybe put these up somewhere as stickers bc i think they'd look cute??

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lovvecherrymotion · 9 days

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(x)

#yes i'm reposting my own twt quote here bc private account and i'm tired and i miss them #jan peteh #nace jordan #jance #janace #joker out

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r0tmagier · 1 year

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No talk them, they angy... 😡

#my art #I'm mad I put my first touchstarved fanart on the wrong account #but it has too many notes for me to want to repost it here #so here take this meme with Mhin #There will be plenty more where this came from... I'm obsessed...#They're sitting on my MC's lap btw hehe #Touchstarved game #Touchstarved Mhin #Touchstarved fanart #Mhin #fanart #meme #Touchstarved meme #has this been done yet???#chibi #meme redraw

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