#nosleep
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I am looking for a human host!
Are you bored?
Are you lonely and bored?
Do you have a lot of time on your hands?
Do you have hands?
I’m offering you a proposal, with potential financial compensation for your troubles. It may sound off putting at first blush, but hear me out. I am looking for a human host. And I mean a “willing” human host who might be willing to give up some of their time to help out an odd fellow that doesn’t have hands or blood.
Am I asking to control your body? Yes. Sometimes. You’ll still be there, but taking the backseat. Now you’re probably thinking “That sounds no fun! I don’t want to spend all my time riding shotgun.”
And that’s valid.
But you all spend about half of the day unconscious anyway. Your body is just there, doing nothing—a complete waste. As for me, I don’t sleep (haha), so we could have it so that during the day, I will graciously let you do fun human things, and at night, I’ll do whatever. And by whatever, I mean perfectly safe, perfectly reasonable activities.
I don’t drink, and I rarely go outside.
I enjoy baking, I look at pictures of birds online, I’ve been getting into neuroscience lately. Very interesting stuff. You’re all very interesting.
And maybe you’re still thinking “Hey now, I don’t want some random mind-controlling thingy hauling my body around in my sleep, “Weekend at Bernie’s Style” to which I say, you’re no fun and you’re not the kind of person I want to live with anyway.
“But I’m a light sleeper!” you say.
Don’t worry! I can isolate your somatosensory cortex so you can’t feel anything.
“But my family will think it’s weird!” you say.
Don’t worry! You don’t have to tell them.
Actually, I would prefer that you don’t tell anyone. Please.
And should anyone question me, I’m not bad at impressions. I’ll get really good at a “you” impression, it’ll be the first thing I do!
I know this all sounds very strange and potentially unpleasant, but remember the financial compensation that may or may not be happening. Hell, I’ll even do some of your chores if you like, while you sleep. You can wake up and the dishes will be done, laundry folded and coffee made. Doesn’t that sound nice? And then you open the fridge and oh, what’s this? Someone baked banana bread last night (that was me, I baked banana bread last night.)
Now I should say, I don’t have a lot of standards, I really don’t. But I do (unfortunately) have some, so let’s just get them out of the way before I waste your time.
Please do not contact me if you have any of the following:
- Anemia: Sorry, it’s just not going to work out. I can pay for iron supplements, but I can’t work miracles.
-A weak immune system: I don’t like getting sick, I’m sorry. It’s gross, sick people are gross. I mean I know it’s not your fault, but healthy folks only please.
-A strong immune system: Yes, I know what I just said, but I also don’t want to be attacked by your immune system. So maybe you’re not the picture of health, but you’re just kind of okay. I’m looking for someone who is just kind of okay.
-A penchant for alcohol: It makes me feel strange…
-A name that starts with a P: I’m not the greatest at “speaking.” It’s hard, moving air through your throat and moving your tongue and your mouth at the same time. You all do it so easy—can’t say I’m not envious! I’m the worst at making the “P” sound.
I intentionally avoid any "p word" in conversation, and get by well enough, but I’ll look pretty foolish if I’m cavorting about, pretending to be you, and I can’t even say your name!
Those are my standards, but really, other than that, I’ll take anyone.
I don’t care if you’re male or female or anything in between.
I don’t care if you’re gay.
I don’t care if you’re smart.
I don’t care if you don’t have a lawyer.
There are so many things that I don’t care about.
Now, I’ve specified all the ways in which I could compensate you and how our relationship will be not in any way problematic, but I want to stress that, above all things, I am looking for a friend.
Someone I can spend quiet evenings with.
If you want to hang out with me during the day, that’s great! I can give you fun hallucinations. Or you could have hallucinations the normal way, like by reading, like what you’re doing now. I love to read! I love doing funny voices. I wonder what you think I sound like?
I hope I sound nice.
And one of the best things about me is I’m very quiet. No one else will be able to hear me except you. I’ll be like your own personal friend that only you know. Like a secret friend. And you don’t even have to talk to me because I can read your thoughts.
I suppose I should tell you a bit more about myself, since you’re still reading.
I was born in the Everglades, I think. It’s been awhile.
But I remember being so cold…
And so alone...
But then I met this sweaty man in a colorful tee-shirt, with a camera, and half a granola bar, and with blood so hot.
So yeah, he was my first host, and I’ll admit, we weren’t the best of friends. It was a confusing time for both of us. I was confused. He was confused. What happened was really both of our faults, you could say…
He was a bird watcher, if I recall correctly. Just watched birds all the time. I thought it might have been out of jealousy—watching those little things flying around makes you feel kind of stuck. I felt stuck.
So I decided to be a bird for a while to see if it was really all it’s cracked up to be. Squished myself into the body of this lovely American crow. We settled down, built a nest, and laid several nice, healthy eggs with a man-bird by the name of “Richard Baxter.”
He was a very proud bird, very large. And he gave me so many wonderful gifts. Like children, and also small pieces of plastic.
I still have all of them.
The plastic, not the children.
I’d never been so happy, all these hormones had me consumed in the joy of motherhood, but the crow’s health was failing. I could not sustain myself—it’s pathetic little heart beat weaker and weaker.
I tried starving, I tried everything I could, I wanted to be a bird so bad. But it just wasn’t working out.
The bird stopped working.
The other crows held a funeral service for me, even though I was still alive. I tried to tell them, but I’m not good at speaking, you remember.
It was all just a big mess.
I haven't seen Baxter since, but I still think about him a lot.
Is that weird?
I’m totally over it though, haha.
After that incident, I got kind of depressed... I possessed a lot of trash animals—gulls, racoons, and salespeople. I did what I could to survive. That’s kind of where I am now.
I am currently living in Miami florida—been body surfing almost every day (haha). Right now I’m using a library computer and a librarian. She does not like being possessed, boy howdy are these fingers twitching. But you can thank her for my halfway decent grammar.
I’m tired of feeling like a parasite.
I want to try a different approach.
I want to be friends? Like with Richard Baxter except I also live in your brain and drink your blood sometimes. But I’ll make you bread in your sleep, so it’s okay.
It’s been really hard finding someone willing to put up with me.
I’ve tried everything.
So I thought I would put up an advertisement online, why not?
Can’t say the P word in real life, but you can hear it in your head loud enough I hope.
I know I kept saying that I would compensate you financially, but I’m going to be real with you, I don’t have much. I’ve got like twenty bucks, some small pieces of plastic and a book about...finance....
But I’m a real hoot! ;D
So,
(P)lease,
If you are interested, leave your comments below. I would love to get to know you :)
I need to go now, the library is closing soon, but I’ll get back as soon as I can.
#short fiction#short story#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#this is a story I posted on reddit a few years ago#and I'm reposting it here#Pie writes#parasite#mind control parasite#yeerk#animorphs#body snatcher#nosleep#r/nosleep
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Like 75% of creepypasta and nosleep plots hinge on the fact that the protagonist doesn't have a screen in their window.
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Listening to the nosleep podcast is always such a mixed bag like the first two or three narrations are the most boring unscary or cliche shit and then the last story of the episode is the most haunting thing you'll remember for years to come. You just have to sit through 2-3 hours of the former
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You may have seen already that Twitter is paying between 10 and 20k $ to some "creators" for "their share of advertising revenue generated by their tweets". And how those receiving the payment seem to be notoriously US right-wing influencers:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/07/13/twitter-creators-payments-right-wing/
Now, if your are like me, you may have thought it was due only neo-fascist high profile accounts paying for Twitter blue (which is needed to access this revenue share program). But no, no. With Twitter 2.0 things may always be worse than they look like.
It looks like the "creators" blessed by the revenue sharing scheme are hand picked:
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I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service.
A classic thread that every fan of outdoorsy-innawoods creepypasta should read. Haven’t heard of this yet? You’re in for a treat!
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 1/8)
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 2/8)
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 3/8)
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 4/8)
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 5/8)
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 6/8)
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 7/8)
I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 8/8)
Enjoy! Sleep with your lights on!
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Nosleep author new to Tumblr --- Here to say hi!
It's great to see you here!
In case you're a stranger stumbling across this, I am an author on r/nosleep over on Reddit. I write first person POV dark fantasy/horror stories, mostly with a light touch. Topics include but are not limited to fairy-infested theme parks, frustrated dimension hoppers struggling with unemployment and women in wedding dresses roaming haunted forests. If any of that sounds interesting to you, feel free to check out my Reddit account. Or maybe you'd care to take a look at my subreddit, r/CrypticPark. As of now, the bulk of my work can be found there.
I suppose everyone who's following this blog knows me from Reddit. I plan to post my stories here as well as to r/nosleep. I find that the landscape on that subreddit has changed a lot lately, and not exactly in the best way. So maybe branching out will do me and my creative work some good. Let's see how it goes!
I gotta admit, I'm not at all used to how Tumblr works, so this post is as much as a greeting as it is me dipping my toes into what's sure to be a raging sea. Do folks even post texts like these here? Guess I'll see. Have mercy on me, is what I'm saying. I'm about as social media-savvy as your stereotypical granny. In fact, I am typing this with my screen dangerously close to my face, squinting at the keyboard like a vole. Still, I'll try my best to figure out this platform and make your stay on my blog as pleasant as I possibly can. I admittedly had fun playing with colors and fonts for my profile, so I hope there'll be good things to come.
Thanks for following my stories! Cheers
XxGftc
#nosleep#nosleep author#reddit#new to tumblr#creativewriters#dark fantasy#dark fiction#horror writing#what am i doing#tags are fun#amateur writer#writing enthusiast#introduction#writeblr intro#writers on tumblr#first tumblr post#creative writing#creative works#horror comedy#horror fiction#horror lover#folklore inspired
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Nia
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See you this weekend 👁️
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youtube
New Video up on Youtube!
#youtube#narration#reblog#horror story#creepy story#unsettling story#short story#horror#horror literature#horror fiction#fiction#short fiction#creepy#writer#author#creepypasta#nosleep#rehnwriter
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Instead of sleep I have chosen newsies (yet again)
#newsies#92sies#livesies#uksies#theater#musicals#musicaltheater#nosleep#Ialsohavetogetupearly#lol#im dumb#whatever
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This is not Hell. It's not Heaven either. This is the Black Farm.
(Inspired by Feed The Pig by Elias Witherow. Pls read it <33333. art by Blake Neubert)
#art by Blake Neubert and I’m still trying to find the source for the white piece!)#I’m just playing around with Shuffles bc I just found out it exists#feed the pig#nosleep#tw body horror#tw animal death#blood#horror#horror aesthetic#horrorcore#creepypasta#Blake neubert#creepy#scary
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In Solitudine et in Tenebris
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thanks creepcast for shoving me into the left/right game brainworms again
i have so many questions about how it works and what the rules are for its existence
if you walk across a housing estate following the same path and manage to find yourself at the tunnel, will you go onto the same road as the one rob/alice and gang got on with the car crash on the other side of the road and jubilation, or will you get a slightly altered pedestrian route to walk (with hiking gear obv, gotta go prepared)
is it possible to walk it at all or is a car a requirement for the process, if you (before going through the tunnel) were walking and got on a bus or in a taxi for part of the route (not deviating from said route) would you still be in the game, or does the vehicle have to be part of the convoy
if you manage to get onto the road by walking, what about the hitchhiker, do you walk him to where he needs to go, does he stand there idly watching you walk past, does he even show at all, would he kill you if you dont have a car for him
if you were bored one day and just 'what if i took alternating corners just to see where i end up' unprompted by any invitation, will you come across the tunnel, or do you need an invitation, and in turn is the reddit thread a mass invitation to allow as many people onto the road as possible to feed the road
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I LOVE horror, especially reading it, and especially interactive stuff. I’ve been on nosleep for 10+ years, and very few things actually gets to me
I somehow hadn’t read Correspondence yet, and started two hours ago, I’m almost finished, and hoooly shit, holy shittttt
Like holy shit I am so jumpy and when my Bluetooth speaker just stopped working twice in a row I nearly cried istg this is TOO MUCH FOR ME
#finding out the author still isn’t known made it a million times worse lmao#bloodstains when i catch u#nosleep#horror#analog horror#horror writing
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I don't know if you've noticed, but...
I intentionally included the first name option "Leah" and the last name option "Novak" in the customization portion. This is only gonna make sense to those who followed me here from nosleep, but yeah... I just wanted to draw your attention to that.
That's all. ^^
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