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tacobellabeanburrito · 2 months

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hello this is Anon again. could you please direct me to your favorite Ace Attorney fics? I’ve read pretty much all the popular ones so I’m looking for some more niche ones :) thank you!!

Oh Anon… You sweet, sweet summer child. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.

I was already planning on doing an Ace Attorney fic rec list because I wanted to share some of my favorite ones (A lot of the ones I read aren’t on many of the regular fic rec lists, so I wanted to share some ones that I feel like are really good and maybe don’t get enough recognition) So I am very glad you asked Anon, gives me reason to actually continue on my fic rec list! I love sharing my favorite fics!

Most of them are Narumitsu, couple are Krisnix, and some are both. Also a couple stragglers out there without a ship as well. There will also be some smut ones (Don’t judge please lmao) (Also, just saying. There’s no good Krisnix in this fic list, all of it is seen as toxic, I ship them as Toxic Tragic Yuri and they’re not good as a real relationship. Just a disclaimer)

Some will have big blurbs about them from me explaining their plot a little and what I like about them. For others, I’ll just post them because I don’t really feel like talking about them in detail. But I promise they’re all good!

I’m not going to link them this time, cause I dunno how to do that without making a huge mess cause there’s so many and I don’t want my post to be wonky. And I’m also not going to categorize them because I’m eepy and didn’t get enough sleep last night, so you can figure it out yourself Anon lmao.

(But if you can’t find any, please tell me I’ll help)

So, without further ado… Here are my fic recs!

Fics:

Perfect by Sideblog: My absolute, all time favorite AA fic! Ever! Literally ever! I don't really wanna talk about the plot because that basically spoils the whole thing and I don't wanna do that to you, you just gotta read it! It is beautifully written and has an amazing concept that I would never think of in a million years! Seriously, so criminally underrated to the point of I have no idea how it doesn’t have like 15,000 hits on A3O. Even though I didn't explain much of the plot, just know that it is incredible and absolutely worth a read. I come back to it sometimes to read it because IT IS THAT GOOD. When I first saw this fic I didn’t really know what to expect because there weren’t any warnings or practically anything. Very mysterious fic. So glad I read it, though. When you get done reading this Anon, you gotta tell me what you think.

El Capo A Fine by tellezara: There’s something incredible about specialized Au fics in which you can tell that despite whatever the Au fic is about, the writer has an absolute love for the subject. This one is about musical instruments and Ace Attorney characters being part of an orchestra, and you can tell that this person has done orchestra before (Or at least thoroughly researched it and has a love for it) because they put in so many facts and interesting tidbits about instruments and the orchestra world that I never knew about and I loved learning about all of it. Fics like these are very special in my opinion because those people write it out of pure love for whatever the subject is and whatever the fandom is. Anyway, fic good. (Makes me wanna write an Ace Attorney choir fic, that’s my speciality)

The Miraculous Disappearance of Phoenix Wright by JJsADragon: Was on a road trip when I first read this and literally could NOT. STOP. READING. HAD ME GRIPPED. EDGE OF CARSEAT. The whole plot is basically a parody of "It's A Wonderful Life" where Phoenix ends up in a universe where he was never born. Which, as you can guess, causes a myriad of problems for the legal world and world in general. I had no idea where the plot was going, didn't know how it was going to end, and WAS TERRIFIED. But. I kept reading anyway. IT IS THAT GOOD.

Miles Edgeworth: The Ace Attorney by Charybdia: I SPENT AGES. AGES. Looking for a good, finished Ace Attorney roleswap fic. And when I found this one I STRUCK GOLD. SWEAR IT. Amazing, love this one. Still come back to it. IT’S GOT OBNOXIOUS THEATRE KID PHOENIX WRIGHT, HOW CAN I NOT LOVE IT? It also is accompanied by art Also, also, We get good friend Larry Butz. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR?

Carpe Diem (make your lives extraordinary by Elysya): A high school Au featuring theater kid Phoenix, debate kid Miles and third wheel Larry. I loved this one. It’s also just super interesting. The developing relationship between Phoenix and Miles is one that I really like as they’re both messy teenagers and really gotta work out their flaws if they wanna be together.

Begone Dull Care by VivaRockSteady: A good Au fic surrounding patient Miles and nurse Phoenix. Goes into good detail about recovering from suicide and depression, and recovering from other mental health issues. Also check out some of the other fics by this writer. One is an Au of the Truman Show and the other is a Roman/Greek Au that I found incredibly interesting.

if you leave the light on by AngstinSpace: A very good fic. I was reading this one in my study hall and my teacher was playing calming piano music that was kinda sad/melancholic and I started tearing up in class because I was feeling all the emotions. Girl this is good, go read it.

I used to think people were good but now I just think they’re people by thebirdsandtheboxes: SEVERELY UNDERRATED. Super good and goes very in-depth into Phoenix’s disbarment period and how he and his friends and family react. Also has some good Asexual!Miles moments.

This man is not your boyfriend by its_ok_inside: AN AMAZING FIC CENTERING AROUND PHOENIX HAVING AMNESIA AND MILES HELPING HIM DEAL WITH IT. Hilarious. Super funny. I love it. Also is accompanied by some artwork. FUCK YEAH THIS FIC. A classic.

Surviving You by pantswarrior: I’m pretty sure this is an older fic that got moved, and it kinda shows that in its writing (Yk those fics that you can tell were written in the 2000s/early 2010s based on their vocabulary and thoughts on gay relationships? Kinda like that) but it’s good. Very good.

A False Start by theacegrace: A phenomenal fic centered around Bratworth!Miles meeting Feenie!Phoenix and Miles praying that Phoenix doesn’t get accused of murder when he sees Phoenix with Dahlia. Loved this one so much and came back to it a couple times.

Chicago Noel by canonlacrush: A classic. There used to be an Au a while back that everyone was obsessed with and it was a bakery/mafia Au. I wish there were more fics that catered to that Au but they’re hard to find. Anyway, this one is great.

Maybe In Time You’ll Want To Be Mine by YourAverageBystander: A time loop fic that I absolutely adore. Y’all really gotta key in on these Ace Attorney time loop/time travel fics, there’s a couple in here. THEY ARE A TREASURE.

Turnabout Sole by CollaboralDamage: An awesome bodyswap fic. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND BODY SWAP FIC IN THIS FANDOM?! And this one is good. Very good. Liked it a lot.

Shared Work Space by nerdyskeleton: I think the fic’s summary works best here “It was the best of times, it was the worst of time when Miles Edgeworth discovers he likes to be called Daddy”.

Shear Luck by TopazEstrella: One that I didn’t really know what to think of when I first kept seeing it on my search for Narumitsu fics, but I’m very glad I read it. It’s different, but I like it. Has some Krisnix in it.

The Illusion Of Control by Ekat: Amazing. Loved it. Takes place in an alternate universe where Miles died and Gregory didn’t. Has a lot of found family dynamics featuring Mr. Edgeworth, Phoenix and Ray.

Tight Lesh by Ensiy: I come back to this one often. One of the only fics that has good Kristoph and Miles interaction. They’re both catty bitches to each other. Has some Krisnix in it.

Out of Order by canolacrush: A super cute fic where Miles gets a haircut and Phoenix gets a crush. I re-read it a lot because it’s super cute and really fluffy.

With The Phases Of The Moon by Puddor: One I come back to often for a couple of moments. Really love it. One of the good Werewolf!Phoenix and Vampire!Miles fics.

You Ever Been In Love? by hechima: Loved this one a lot. We love the Wright gang trying to matchmake. A classic in terms of AA fics and for good reason.

Observe and Record by MAVEfm: An introspective Miles fic detailing him and his personal journal. I really like this one. Has some Krisnix in it.

Pressing Pursuit ~ Cornered by viviaciousbarkbeast: Love this one. I think this was one of the first AA fics I’ve read. Has some Krisnix in it.

That Man by Sunshine_And_Starlight: A really good fic. It has one of my favorite tropes and I come back to it for certain moments that I really like and wanna read again.

A Badge Of Honor by sunsmasher: Really loved this one. I also come back to re-read it cause it’s just so funny and awkward and hilarious.

Awkward Business by hechima: I’m a sucker for this trope! You’ll see what I mean when you read it. It’s all gold! I still come back to this one.

wait (they don’t love you like I love you) by Samioli: Super good fic detailing Miles finding out about all Phoenix’s past relationships.

parallelogram by zombiekittiez: Such a slay fic, has a strange premise at first BUT we get Shakespeare references so that’s a big plus.

All There Is by sunsmasher: Loved it. A really good look into Krisnix as a relationship and dealing with sexual trauma.

London, 2021 by syailendra: Has a lot of good moments. I come back to this one a lot. Has some Krisnix in it.

Sketched Memories by gen: LOVED THIS ONE. OBSESSED. You just gotta read it. It’s a recent one but VERY GOOD.

Archaeology by sunsmasher: Everyone eats pizza, and truamadumps. Just a typical day at the Wright Anything Agency.

Dancer In The Dark by klaviersimp: Ahhh, I love this fic a lot. It holds a special place in my heart. Little suggestive but I like it.

dig my nails into the wound by gavinnersworldtour: A very good Krisnix fic. Delicious. I love this one.

Temptation by crayoncompanion: An interesting one that I can’t help but really love.

Hot, Sticky, Sweet by mutxnts: A really good fic. I CRAVE a continuation but it’s a one-shot.

Sin. Eater by potatomin: A very good Demon!Miles and Angel!Phoenix fic. Makes you want more.

romance is not dead (if you keep it just yours) by Samioli: This one was just sweet. I liked it a lot.

just desserts by riskphee: YES. YES. Love this one. I still come back to read it.

Thrown Through A Loop by savitaraandsigh: Another time loop fic that I absolutely adore.

From The Top by lazynina: Another Time loop fic that I absolutely adore.

Bespoke by Demus: We love suit kinks.

That Goddamned Idiot That Is Phoenix Wright by fyrebyrd_fta

Kleptomania by Ekat

Working Hazard by lilacSkye

caught in the act by Samioli

I’ll Cover You by nerd4fandoms

my rapt heart by griffonage

Bad dream, good time by notlikelybutpossible

Series:

7 years under the bridge: A series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.

7 year ache: Another series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.

And that’s most of them! There’s definately more, but those are the ones that really made an impression on me and that I think about a lot (And also the ones I could find easily without having to check every one of my bookmarks) You can find more that way if you want though! By looking through my bookmarks on A3O that is. That’s what I do sometimes with other A3O members and it’s worked out well (Look for the Buddy Daddies fics in my bookmarks, that’s where most of them start but definitely check my bookmarks, there’s a couple good ones I can’t find at the moment that I know are in there). But I also recommend doing your own research too, it doesn’t seem like fun but when you end up finding one of the hidden gem fics it’s totally worth it.

Here’s some advice, buddy, try to start at the beginning, like go all the way down to the last folder on A3O, but maybe first search for an AA tag that you know will have a smaller fic pool and go from there. And when you find an author you like, try and check out if they have some other AA fics. Most of the writers of the fics I have recommended have more Ace Attorney fics in their arsenal that I’ve read and enjoyed and just didn’t wanna put on here, so check them out!

Btw Anon, if you want the more… Darker fics that I like (There aren’t many, but there’s a couple) DM me because I don’t wanna give those out publicly since it just makes me sorta uncomfy and I don’t want others to be uncomfy. This also goes for smuttier fics that I don’t feel like sharing at the moment.

Sorry if this was a lot Anon, I just love fanfiction, it’s definately one of the more interesting art forms out there, and think a lot of the ones I read deserve to be shared!

(Oh, also, I write fics too Anon. Check out my AA fic if you wanna. Sorry to self-promote but I promise it’s cute!!)

Anyway, that’s all! Goodnight everybody!

#ace attorney #Narumitsu #mitsunaru #Phoenix wright #miles Edgeworth #ace attorney fic rec #fic rec #kristoph gavin #Krisnix #Wrightworth #worthwright #edgewright #kirinaru #kriswright #ace attorney fic #Phoenix wright ace attorney #ace attorney fics

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bulkhummus · 1 month

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Hey!! I’m curious, in what ways do you think wtnv sucks? I’m not necessarily disagreeing but I can’t think of anything tbh and your tag made me start wondering

Hi!

No piece of media is perfect, and expecting it to be is unfair to the creator, and unrealistic of the consumer. Being able to consciously understand the ways in which something you love also has flaws is a healthy way of engaging with the things you enjoy without succumbing to the all-or-nothing mentality of being able to enjoy, well, anything!

I love wtnv, obviously, it's about 90% of my blog, and I have listened to it for a very long time. I respect the creators (including the actors) for what they have accomplished.

However, there are a few things about wtnv that I as a listener and long-time fan have recognized as, lets call them, potential critiques. Sucks is too strong a word because I’m not focusing on specific instances where they have messed up (and they have, people make mistakes). This isn’t a list where I tell you specific things— but rather I just explain to you some thoughts I have about the show. This is, by no means, a complete or solitary list, or even an ‘accurate’ one. This is just my own opinion and you're welcome to disagree.

Consistency

I do not have the expectation of wtnv having continuity. I never once have, due to the nature of what it is, what it's about, and how it's written. I don't care if facts change. Cecil is an unreliable narrator. Timelines shatter and splinter off regularly in the show. Time doesn't work right for most of the podcast. The Cecil we listen to currently is not the same Cecil we were introduced to. Writers make mistakes when shows have been on for over a decade. etc etc etc. Instead, I use the word consistency.

The show lacks consistency in story telling. This is its strength! WTNV was a podcast made by a small group of people that skyrocketed in popularity very quickly. It was a passion project. It was a bunch of think pieces where the writers got to explore different styles of writing, different characters, and their thoughts and feelings on current events in real life. That’s what it was built on. It was recorded in a coat closet on a shitty mic and then suddenly it became a livelihood with a massive following. So, the show lacks consistency in story telling, which to me has always been the joy of it, because of its freedom to do as it pleases. A lot of ‘plot’ would happen and we’d leave on a cliffhanger, and in classic Night Vale fashion, it’d be like 4 months before you heard about it again. However.

WTNV was introduced as a serial podcast where the only consistency was that they'd upload twice a month. With the introduction of mini-arcs, and later longer arcs (such as STREX, the DOW, or UOWII) the writers introduced the expectation of continuity. The story would build over the course of several episodes and resolve in some type of way. This requires more planning and greater attention to detail than episodes that are one-off or ongoing by the nature of what the show initially was. My issue here is that they have given themselves the problem of continuity given how they write longer arcs now — but they just don’t seem to fact check or communicate with one another when it comes to these arcs that span several episodes or rely upon info from older episodes. Now, the show often feels like its fighting between what it wants to focus on, and how it focuses on it and I am left sensing this inconsistency that I once used to enjoy. Which brings me to my next point.

Understanding A World

WTNV is a show about a fictional town, told by an unreliable narrator in the form of a radio show. When the show started, I felt it understood that very well. New characters were introduced as callers, or interviews on local news, ad reads, and even Cecil playing his voicemail on air. It operates under a VAUGE set of rules (but rules nonetheless) that this was a radio show.

There have been several instances, more recently, where I feel as if the show forgets that Cecil is a radio host and the story is told through his perspective about 90% of the time. It is that exciting 10% where we gain insight to the same stories from different characters giving us new information.

For example, having Carlos and Janet go back and forth at one another in the finale of the UOWII arc completely casts aside Cecil's perspective as the narrator, and as having control over the story. Cecil hated Janet. it would have been more amusing and in character for him to have ad libbed whatever Janet said and only play Carlos' parts -- only for her to burst into his live studio outraged that he wasn't fairly reporting and THEN tell her side of the story after wrestling the mic away from him.

My issue here is that, more recently, it feels as if they forget that operating under rules, or constraints, in story telling, actually helps them be more creative in how information gets delivered to the listener.

I think how they use their patreon needs a massive overhaul too but thats a different post. Which brings me to my next point.

Hand Holding

They are good writers. They are capable of balancing humor and horror in a way that enhances both. I have felt gutted, I have felt hopeful, and I have felt absolutely feral after certain episodes because they have good ideas and can write well!

So it becomes really frustrating when they just tell me a bunch of stuff without it being reflected in the show, or they don’t trust themselves as writers. I get it. Not every episode can be their best, but there have been several instances recently, in moments where it really counts, where I am just being told what's going on instead of it going on. I’m being told why things are happening instead of listening to them happen, and often I feel they forget they are writing something to be performed. They don’t need to explain all of their metaphors or explain what the point of a characters actions are. The audience is not stupid and things don’t always need to be spelled out. Which brings me to my next point.

Writing for an Audience

All creators have to work off of in terms of how well something is doing is fan engagement, especially in a smaller project like this. However, they have an audience that varies in ages of 11-45 given how long this show has been running for. Go to a live show you will see what I mean. How do you write for an audience who is that diverse in age? Should you have to? Is it bad engagement to not think about your audience? Sometimes something a 30 year old understands, a 11 year old may not. Not for any other reason but time and lived experience. Theres things 30 year olds forget about being 11! That’s how it works.

And while this is less of a problem they may have, it’s something I noticed about the reception of different episodes by fans. The second to last live show I went to I had the enjoyment of listening to two 13/14 year olds sitting behind me offering their vastly different perspectives on some recent episodes, especially given the fact that I heard one of them say they had only just started listening after listening to the first 100 episodes summary. Which brings me to my next point.

Duration

Everything I have said previously comes back to the duration of the show. I think its impressive that its been running for over a decade with consistency. And they should! In a perfect world, WTNV would run forever because of how much I love it. I love this show and I don’t want it to end. HOWEVER. If the quality of something begins to degrade because there is not enough time dedicated to it and the creators no longer find it engaging and exciting then I’d want it to come to an end. They’re people. They want to work on new things. I respect that! And I’d be heartbroken if the show faded out or ended in a rushed manner in an unsatisfying way because they decided on a whim they don’t want to make it anymore.

I think it is a disservice to the work, effort and history of the show for them to create a 100 episode summary and tell people to start there. Idc. “But Bulk people might not want to listen to 10 years worth of podcasting—“ Babes the show is 245 episodes long. They’re like 25 min a pop not including ads. It’s a bimonthly show. Buckle up and settle down. The creators should take pride in their work, and how long the shows been on for, and be encouraging people to start from the beginning. Let people experience for the first time what many people fell in love with. Why on EARTH would you tell people to NOT start at the beginning? To me, as a long time fan, it feels like the creators don’t have faith or pride in their work.

I’m not saying they don’t dedicate time to their show of 10 years, because how could I know that, but, when they don’t fact check (because now there is the precedent of continuity, especially with newer fans, because they chose to write more serially) and they tell fans its ok to not start at episode 1, and they are advertising other projects on WTNV episodes where fans call them out for not fact checking and and and— where does that lead me as a fan? It sometimes makes me feel like they don’t care about what they’re making anymore.

I also think that this show has become a means of income for them. And it has. They have a patreon now, they do shows, they sell merch. What was once a passion project for them is now a product. People who pay for something demand a better quality— thats like almost universally true. And people who are newer fans, and don’t understand what podcasting was like a decade ago, who don’t know what WTNV was like a decade ago, don’t have that background knowledge of what the show was built up on and created as (ie. A bunch of experimentations, think pieces, and whacky one-offs as previously mentioned).

Because they’re telling fans not to listen to the first 100 episodes and focusing on more serial story telling. Am I making sense? It’s all connected and I feel like I’m making sense.

Conclusion

I love WTNV but, in my opinion, it was never meant to be what fans often demand it to be, and the creators sometimes have to respond to. What I fell in love with it for is often the things I see people criticize it for. It’s this story that sort of does what it wants, when it wants, because that’s how it started. It’s grown into something else now, which all things do over time, and I just hope they don’t grow it into something it is not if they aren’t careful. The show was is deeply unserious but also really interesting and exciting and chilling and worth the time spent, despite the ways it may be imperfect. Perfectly imperfect, if you will (wink wink).

You don’t have to agree with what I’ve said here, and maybe none of it reads true for you, because I really am just speculating and offering thoughts, and thats fine! I’d never tell someone their viewing of the show is wrong, but I do think it’s good to stop and think about your favorite pieces of media like this. Anyways thats why it sucks or whatever

#wtnv #ask tag #anon

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onlinekitsune · 2 months

Text

LET ME IN: SAEYOUNG CHOI (PART TWO)

"make your way to me through the waves"

PAIRING, GENRE, WARNINGS ─ saeyoung choi x gnc!reader, not proofread, this is mostly comfort?? kinda just on saeyoung's side sorrryyy

SYNOPSIS ─ after a bit of an argument played out, between you. saeyoung returns back inside of the bedroom. unaware that you're actually awake, he begins to talk out his feelings.

WRITER’S NOTE ─ a handful of people requested a part two of the original!! which i honored and very gratful for!! i have a hard time liking my content, so when others tell me they enjoyed it, it means a lot! i tried my best with this but, kinda lost where i was going with it. again, a bit of dialogue is taken directly from the game. (day 8/9 iirc) i hope you enjoy! and again, thank you for all your kind words and support! i know i am off and on about posting content on here, but know that your words aren't just ignored!! so erm... anyways. do you think i could do a part three lmao

Your dreams were hard to recall as you continued to lay still in bed. Perhaps that was for the better, a dream about the argument prior or even recalling happier times in the chatroom would haunt you. You took a deep breath, not bothering to even open your eyes or get up. You felt exhausted, mentally and physically. It was ironic to you how crying provided the same effects as if you were to actually do something straining. Your hand slid through your sheets, blindingly guiding you to your phone. Before you could even reach it, you hear the door creak open. You laid completely still, unsure of what to do. Footsteps gently got closer, stopping as they reached right in front of you. The sound of fabric brushing against each other filled the room. Your heart raced, not sure what to expect. But you continued to stay still.

“You’re… asleep? Good.” Seven sighed, breaking the silence. He reached out his hand, brushing against the sheets. "You’re really quiet while you’re sleeping...” The room returned to its silence for a moment. You felt him lean his upper body on the bed, only being able to assume that he was kneeling before you. “You’re something, you know? I… must have hurt you by saying all those things, but you somehow manage to still be so bright. Even now. You remind me of the 707 I pretend to be in the chatroom. You have more in common with him than… Saeyoung.”

Your face slightly furrowed, hearing his voice become soft and vulnerable. You so desperately wanted to sit up and comfort him. But, you knew that if you did he’d immediately retreat. You continued pretending to be asleep, allowing him to continue.

“Saeyoung is dark and pessimistic. His cold and complicated personality is the true me. I-I can’t wear the mask of the happy-go-lucky 707. I want you to realize that and be disappointed. I’m not a fun and cool person. I can put you in danger. So, don’t waste your feelings on me. I know telling you this won’t stop you. You’re so strange.” He continued. Hearing him talk bad about himself made your heart ache. If only he knew. If only he could see himself from your perspective. His hand hovered over yours before gently placing it on top, dissipating your thoughts. His touch was gentle, as if any friction could cause you to crumble beneath his fingers. “No, it's not you that's strange. It’s me. You’re actually… so nice and warm. You know, I… I sometimes dream about you accepting the real me. It’s a ridiculous dream, I know. But, thank you for allowing me to dream, at the very least.” His thumb brushed against the back of your hand before slipping away.

The silence filled the room again, accompanied by your heartbeat in your ears. The weight on the bed returns to how it was, as he gets up. “Please, remember in your dreams that you can’t trust V… or even me. Be less nice to me, so that when I disappear, you won’t be hurt. Don’t trust anyone, and promise me you’ll stay safe. Allowing me to protect you is more than enough. It’s more than I deserve. It’s enough for Saeyoung.” He uttered, slowly turning away from you. You snuck a glance, seeing that he was now facing away from you but stood still.

“Saeyoung.” You let out, softly. You shifted from the bed, sitting up against the headboard.

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just leaving-”

“Saeyoung. Please. Just wait a second.” You pleaded, looking up at him with soft eyes. He winced, hearing his name come from you a second time. He took a deep breath, and turned around to face you. He kept a straight face, but you could see the ache in his eyes. “Can we sit and talk?” You added. He hesitated, but ultimately gave in. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

“So, I can assume you heard everything?”

“I…Yes, I did. I didn’t want to pretend to be asleep but, also didn’t want you to run off.” you answered, grabbing onto your wrist. Your gaze met him as he turned his head to look at you. “Listen, I know how you feel. Pretending to be this happy-go-lucky person. I have experience with that, clearly. I don’t know how much you actually found out about me but… just know we have that in common, okay? I like yo-”

“Even if you say you like me, my life can’t embrace anything. You don’t know how it feels to live this kind of life. You shouldn’t be nice to me when you don’t know anything. The person you truly like is the 707 in the chatroom, just… forget about me. About this.” he interrupted, turning away from you. He was mere moments from leaving out the door, you felt it. And if he did, it’d return you back to where you were. In a moment of desperation, you bolted forward, hugging him from behind.

“Then please, help me understand the person in front of me…” You muttered, resting your head on his back. Saeyoung didn’t pull away, or even try to. He stood frozen, unable to comprehend what his mind was going through.

“You!” He let out, stunned. His eyes shut, slowly giving in to your affection. “Why are you doing this to me? You’re making this harder than it should. I live a dangerous life, one you don’t need to be involved in. I couldn't even protect my own brother… I have to abandon the person I adore. My life is good for nothing.”

“I’ve been through a bomb and a hacker, it’s a little too late for me to not be involved. I like the you that’s in front of me. Regardless of how complicated anything else is, I want to know you.”

Saeyoung shook his head, taking a deep breath. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I… cherish you. I want to make you happy, but I can't! Why do you want to be with me when my life is so dangerous? Why do you… even like me?” He asked, his voice trailing off ever so subtly. You break off the hug, and sit beside him on the edge of the bed.

“It’s more complicated than that. I can’t give a simple answer. I just like you, Saeyoung.”

“You’re impossible. What are you going to do if something happens to you because of me? What then?”

You gave him a soft smile, before reaching out to grab his hand. He didn’t bother to stop you, or even pull away. “No matter what happens, I won’t regret my feelings for you.” you uttered, now brushing your thumb across his hand. Another sigh, and again he shut his eyes for a moment.

“I don’t know anymore. You’re so strange. I.. feel like i’m going strange too. No matter what I do… I can't seem to get rid of your feelings for me. Nothing good will happen by being close to me, you know. It’ll be too late to regret it later.” He muttered. You let go of his hand, placing it on his shoulder. You slightly tugged at him to turn. You two faced each other directly. You saw the sadness, the despair, the anguish in his eyes. Up close this time.

“There’s no way I'll regret being with you, Saeyoung.” you softly replied, gently cupping his face. He stood there, as if he was afraid to touch you. To give into the affection.

“You shouldn’t say that too easily. Ugh. I always told myself that I wouldn’t ever want to grow close to someone. But you’re making that so… complicated. I- I can’t believe you’re getting to me. Gods, what am I supposed to do now?” He asked, reaching to hold your forearms. You let out a soft breath, before leaning closer to him.

“First, just take some time and think about accepting my feelings. We can figure out the rest from there, alright?.” you answered, tilting your head slightly. You wanted to be his light, especially now.

“Alright… I’ll need some time.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger oneshot #mysmes fanfic #mysmes oneshot #saeyoung choi #707 mystic messenger #707 mysmes #luciel choi #saeyoung choi x reader #saeyoung choi x mc #saeyoung x mc #saeyoung x reader #707 x mc #707 x reader #saeyoung choi angst #mysmes angst #mysmes

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chloeangelic · 6 months

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Hi! I’m not back yet, because my motivation to write is unfortunately in shambles after this past week, and I have to get a few things off my chest before I want to come back.

Baselessly accusing people of copying will do nothing but push writers off this platform, either completely quitting or, at some point sooner or later, opting for putting their content behind paywalls. I want to make it very clear, again, that I will never copy or rip any other creators off, with writing, art or concepts. Thematic or artistic similarities ≠ copying. This is my rule: If I’ve seen multiple creators do something (moodboards, covers, other artworks, tropes, concepts), I might also do my own spin, but I will not do something I have only seen one creator do, because I see it as unique to them. I have learned SO MUCH from my favorite writers here - I’ve learned what’s needed for me to find a piece of writing interesting and compelling, as well as how to do that myself so I can also create something captivating based on my own visions and ideas. That’s called learning.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’ve been accused of copying people I have publicly associated myself with on this platform, and it’s frustrating for me that nobody seems to go to ME first when they suspect it. Do you have any idea how awful it feels to frantically apologize to someone I’ve talked to for months, saying I’m sorry if people are pestering them and that I never want them to feel like I’m copying, then just sit and hope that their perception of me isn’t completely warped because some stranger decided they wanted drama? It hurts, I can’t lie. It makes me feel like I’m socially radioactive and that, eventually, nobody will want to have anything to do with me.

I appreciate the feedback on Seeking ch 1 SO MUCH and I wish I was able to take it in right now, but I still feel like garbage. It feels like writers are getting criticized and accused left and right, and either people hate your fics or they’re convinced you stole the idea from someone else. There’s a strange culture around here of hypervigilance around what might be considered copying, and I think people have forgotten that confirmation bias is a very real thing - if you’re looking for something, mental gymnastics will help you find it.

I do this for free, I spend hours brainstorming and writing, expecting nothing in return. I don't even have a ko-fi cause nobody has asked me to make one. What do people want from me?

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merlucide · 2 months

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Crossedresser X BLLK pt1

notes: ok! So I wasn’t sure how to do this tbh- I’m not a super skilled writer and idk how to write things like this so I did HC/Scenario for this. Y/N is kinda like Y/N coded lmao- I’m gonna do more with crossdresser Y/N.

warnings: Y/N is female, cursing, cringe lol

pt1 pt2 pt3

READER REPLACES IMAMURA! (No one cares bout him🙄)

Y/N L/N has always been an excellent soccer player, she was easily the ace of all of her teams. Her raw strength, skills and flexibility was off of the charts.

People were often confused by her determination, she was the most disciplined on on all of her teams. She went over her coach’s expectations for her, Y/N just loved soccer.

When she was a bit younger, when she would walk home, she’d stop by the neighborhood boys who would play soccer and ask to play with them.

More often times than not, they’d say that a girl cant play with them, that she couldn’t keep up or couldn’t play right.

Y/N objectified telling them, ‘I can keep up with you boys just fine! Why can’t I play because I’m a girl?’.

in the boy’s words ‘because girls are weaker than boys, duh’.

Y/N, who was pissed off, took the ball from underneath one of the boys foot and launched a long, precise shot, straight into the goal.

She then looked at the boys shocked expressions ‘how’s that for weak?’ She said flipping her hair, stomping away

The boys words pissed her off, she knew they were wrong, their stupid teenage boys for crying out loud. The woman’s leagues are incredible, those dumbass’s don’t know what they’re talking about.

But, this wasn’t the first time people had spat on woman’s league.

She’s walked by some old geezers saying, ‘it’s not even real sports! They can’t even play properly!’ Or people who say they love soccer but only support half of it.

Why the hell did the men’s league get all of the respect and attention, while the woman’s league was overlooked? What the hell?

That’s not fair, they put just as much effort as the men’s team, so why don’t they get the credit they deserve?

It had her thinking, what’s so special about the men’s league?

She decided the only way she’d find out is by playing in one.

She quit her team and joined the boys team, but in order to join the boys team, you had to be a boy.

Y/N was feminine sure, but with some modifications she could pass as a boy.

She wore a binder/tape(unless ur flat lol), and either didn’t speak much or forced out a deeper voice.

When she played in the boys team, she had to admit she had more fun, it was more challenging, but still easy.

Her wins on the boys team was incredible, she scored the most goals out of everyone, and her team was headed for the nationals!

Though, one day she received a later in the mail, from ‘The Japan Football Association’ saying she has been picked to be apart of the ‘player improvement project’

Y/N had no idea what to expect, to say she was shocked was an understatement, her talents had been seen by the the JFA!! That’s huge!

When she went to the said location, she didn’t expect there to be so many people, (she was in disguise, assuming that’s how she was seen playing)

When a man introduced himself as ‘Jinpachi Ego’ and started stating why he called all of you all here. She knew this was going to be something big.

after Ego finished and some boys started to yell about how ‘this is absurd!’ She was lost in thought, he wanted her, to become apart of Japans future? She was unsure though, this could be the best thing in her soccer career or the worst. What should she do?

She quickly made up her mind when someone started running towards Ego.

Yeah, Y/N wanted to do this, she needed to do this.

For herself and to prove the idiots of the world that a woman can play just as well as a man, even better!

What was in store for Y/N L/N?

A few days later, she packed her bags, and headed to the bus. It was full of eager and hopeful players, she couldn’t wait to see what was in store for her.

She found herself assigned to Team Z, surrounded by a bunch of unique characters.

She then internally panicked when she realized she needed to change into her sports uniform.

A muscular orange-haired boy noticed Y/N anxiousness, and offered if “he’d” like to change hiding behind his locker door. She agreed and thanked him, he told her no worries and that it’s okay to be insecure and he won’t judge. ‘Thanks but that’s really not the issue!’ She internally thought.

She finished changing and ended up chatting with the orange-haired boy and learned his name was Kunigami, he was rather nice and laid-back.

Everyone was waiting around and chatting till Ego appeared on the screen telling them all the rules of ‘Tag’.

Y/N luckily wasn’t in the way of the ball and never was targeted, though she felt a bit bad for the boy whose soccer career was now ended.

Y/N’s futan was in between Chigiri and Raichi. The whole ‘sleeping with 11 dudes’ was uncomfortable for her, but she sucksd it up. Though, if Raichi’s snores got any louder she swore she would suffocate him.

A few days past and everyone has been doing endurance tests. Y/N was pretty built if she said so herself, so she didn’t have to much trouble at first. Though as the days progressed it became hellish for her. Y/N was not a weak girl ,but going from her usual workouts to this modern day torture sucked. She had to work twice as hard as everyone there.

She had bacon + eggs as her default meal, it got really gross after awhile. she noticed that Isagi was also sick of his meal and she offered if they swapped. He eagerly thanked her and they ate, natto wasn’t too bad.

Isagi was a chill, normal dude,she appreciated that he wasn’t personal space invading like Bachira or Naruhaya, or aggressive about literally everything like Raichi. Though when Raichi found out they swapped meals he demanded that she’d swap with his. (Picky eater smh)

Her team had an upcoming game with Team X(barou).

Y/N was placed as defender on the right side, she was to rotate closer to the goal. She was a little bitter that she wasn’t a forward.

The game started. And well- Team X absolutely crushed team Z.

Barou was an absolute monster on the field, she could only try to react to his moves.

Kunigami made a goal just before the game ended with assists by Bachira and Isagi. The game was 5-1 which absolutely sucked. Y/N was frustrated that she wasn’t much help on the field. To be honest, she felt a bit hopeless. She knew this wasn’t gonna be easy, but she was confident in her skills. Though the game today really showed just how different this is from the teams she’s played against before.

After the loss, everyone's mood was down or pissy, except for Kuan and Bachira.

Y/N almost had a heart attack when Bachira was bare-assed boasting about Kunigami’s amazing goal.

If she would’ve know that she’d be jumpscared by a naked Bachira, maybe she’d rethink joining this camp..

AHH I HIT THE WORD LIMIT?!? PART 2

made March 6 2024

#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x you #blue #lock #Isagi x reader

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slickricklj · 9 months

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The Return of Jill Valentine: My thoughts on the perception of Jill’s character, and her relationship with Chris Redfield

I saw the film weeks ago, and have been sitting with some thoughts since then. Now that the film is out in most places, I’m going to dive right in. The film wasn't the best, but there are still some things worth talking about. The handling of Jill's character development and personality, and her relationship with Chris are things I've seen discussed, and I definitely have some thoughts on both. There were many things that could have been done better, but there is also much I quite enjoyed about the film, and actually expected to see, because it’s just the nature of the franchise for certain things to happen.

That said, MASSIVE deep dive below.

As usual with fandom, reactions have been mixed. I myself, went in with lowered expectations as, RE tends to drop the ball on so much, and be very predictable. While I have several issues with the film (like pacing, and choices that seem to have been made for the sake of time constraints, or characters not being aware of certain things they usually would be), I can’t lie, the film had some things that I found mildly or very entertaining, and while it failed to deliver the proper return and real FOCUS Jill should have had IMO (and a not lazy design), it was nice to FINALLY see Jill interact with other major characters, and to see everyone get a chance to shine.

That said, one thing that annoyed me were some comments claiming that Jill was being icy towards Chris, and somehow she’s been ruined, and still “Nu Jill” from RE3make, who’s not the REAL Jill. Well, simply put, that is a bunch of bull. Jill Valentine is still the same character she’s always been, and what some folks need to take into consideration is that naturally, HER experiences shape who she is, and ALSO some of the personality traits people think are new, have IN FACT, always been a part of her character. Perhaps the problem is some people never actually had a grasp of who she is, and clung to their own ideas. Even with some less than stellar performances over the years, she never changed because of a voice actress, or a writer change. The core of who Jill is, is still the same. Different situations and characters have warranted different aspects of who Jill is to come to the surface, and forced her to develop from them.

Jill’s relationship with Chris in the film, is actually one of a close and PERSONAL bond (a near 20 year connection at this point in time). Chris decided to hear the latest on what Rebecca found out from her research (this was an impromptu visit). The FIRST thing she asks him is, “Where’s Jill?” Which suggests she is used to them being together, like they come as a packaged deal. Chris says he’s making Jill write up the report for their mission from the night before. Rebecca immediately calls him out for him doing that to punish her, and I was here for it.

Chris didn’t wanna get the 3rd degree from Rebecca, and impatiently asked her if her tests turned anything up yet. Rebecca explained it’s an improved T-virus, and all of the infected victims had needle marks.

Chris asked, “No bites?” She told him no. This virus was not spread via saliva or bite marks, and also THEIR victims, did not become infected. They simply died from their wounds. From her understanding, this virus wasn’t spreadable through the air, or saliva (bites). Chris went on to say they had to stop whoever was behind this, “Fast.”

What I found interesting was Rebecca’s reaction to his urgency and demeanor. She appeared to be thinking a bit deeper about what was really on his mind, when he said this.

She appeared to have assumed that Chris was in a hurry, because he was worried about something having happened to Jill, like possibly being bitten.

When Chris told her no, she had a faint sigh of relief. I didn’t feel she was really all that worried, because why limit it to a bite, when she just said the virus was spread via needles, was not airborne, and those bitten do not turn (which means there is no infection)? Also, if she was concerned about that, why not have asked about that sooner?

Rebecca looking at Chris like, “Chris...I KNOW you aren’t trying to call someone else reckless!”

Rebecca asked him why he was so hung up on that. She had me in stitches, because she called out his own hypocrisy (ironically she called him and Leon out on their BS in Vendetta as well…this time she didn’t display any regret in how she handled Chris).

This was kind of interesting to me, because the vibe felt like she was commenting on a personal relationship, rather than a professional one. She empathized with Jill’s situation, and made Chris consider the fact that, after EVERYTHING Jill had been through, here she was, FINALLY able to return to the field, and Jill more than likely, blames herself for what happened to her, and everything that Wesker used her for. She’s trying to make up for it. One has to consider that Jill literally has not actually been on the field for nearly 10 years at this point (late 2006-whenever she first returned since Vendetta and the start of this film). Rebecca was also correct in what she told Chris about himself. He too can be “reckless” and risk his life.

On one hand, I don’t like that, Chris hasn’t (apparently), considered Jill may still blame herself for the actions she had no control over, especially since the very first thing she did, after being freed, was she apologized to him. She even asked his partner for that mission, Sheva, for forgiveness, after explaining that she had no control, but was still aware.

Forgiveness has actually been a theme in many of the games Jill has made appearances in. I will touch on this more, in a bit.

Even with Chris, who sometimes fails to see the bigger picture on things, it was a little off-putting (for me), that after all those years, he wouldn’t realize Jill might still feel guilt and regret, and this is despite it already being established via Rev2, Chris and Jill had some private conversations (we at least know Chris talked to her about what she missed out on and how hard Barry took her “death”) during some of the time leading her road to recovery. However, I appreciate the writer’s intention. It shows that this isn’t a professional relationship, this is about a very CLOSE and PERSONAL relationship. Chris cares deeply about Jill’s entire being, and vice versa. It’s actually sweet that Chris believes Jill didn’t need to blame herself, and he just wants her to back to her usual self. The thing is, part of the healing process, is also being able to forgive one’s self.

Chris contemplates on what Rebecca said to him, and he then finds Jill and approaches her. Jill stops what she’s doing, and Chris tells Jill that he wants her off the case, and that she needs some time off (it’s not even given as an order, but more like a plea). Jill scoffs at that, like, “You can’t be serious!”

Chris tries to clarify himself, saying that it’s GOOD she’s back, he just does not want her to push herself too hard, as she’s been through a lot. He doesn’t say this as a mere “factual” basis, but this is Chris emotionally trying to get Jill to compromise with him. He’s telling her what he wants from her (to be on the field with a clear head/to be her usual self), because he cares. There’s no talk about a partnership or anything professional, let alone him not wanting to work with her anymore. This feels more like someone talking to their significant other.

Jill responds by bringing up what happened to her, when under mind control from Wesker. Jill, first, isolated the fact that she was ordered to kill him specifically. She would then say “all of you.” Although I do not feel the writing was taking into account everything that happened to her, or that she’s said this before (moreorless), Jill tells him she was aware, but could not control her actions. It bothers her that Wesker (and all of those who aided him), took her autonomy from her, violated her entire being, and then he made her go after the person she cares the most about, on top of leading to the deaths of others.

^A reminder that the FIRST image in RE5 is of Jill, after having infected a man, who was used as a trap to kill off fellow BSAA agents. She was made to sit there and watch this man BEG for his life, with her own body refusing to help him. She has to watch him suffer as part of her torture.

In RE5, Jill was always one step ahead of Chris, and she kept tabs on him during his mission. She was actively working against him (the opposite of her nature), until Wesker decided to reveal himself, and the fact she had been around Chris—right under his nose. Wesker taunted Jill when he ordered her to kill Chris. Jill appeared to also not be allowed to speak as well. I say this, because she spoke (with attitude) when threatening Irving to “deal” with Chris and Sheva, by having him inject himself with a dominant species plaga, and a moment such as when she told Excella and Wesker Chris and Sheva had arrived. When they face each other, suddenly she’s silent (seriously if they remake this game, get rid of the hissing cat crap, and let Jill taunt Chris…making it more psychological).

I wish more people would grasp how hellish for Jill, the story in RE5 was. Her story, and involvement was the centerpiece of it all, as Jun Takeuchi said himself. Jill KNOWS Chris is looking FOR HER. She sees him demanding to know where she is, relentlessly fighting to find her, but she is not able to reveal herself. Even when Chris shot her mask off, Jill suddenly disengaged from combat, and purposefully kept her face HIDDEN, until Wesker decided to reveal himself, and took the pleasure of revealing her to Chris, knowing what was about to happen would mess with Jill psychologically.

^She reacted to losing her mask!

Nicole SLAYED this line delivery. You can HEAR Jill’s anguish in her voice. Chris would go on to try and let her know he can understand, at least part of what she must be going through, and warns her that if you let a nightmare stick with you, it can swallow you up. This is actually part of the internal struggle the main villain, Dylan, has.

Jill received what Chris said, and understood where he was coming from. She didn’t try to argue with him, threaten him, or blow up in his face. She calmly tried to assure him that she was fine now (which is not entirely true), and that he did not need to worry so much about her. Jill may try to convince herself of that, but it’s not really the case.

It wouldn’t be the first time Jill has ever minimized how she’s really feeling to him. You had her keeping her composure long enough for Chris to go pursue Wesker in RE5, but a minor example could be seen when they raided UB’s Russia based facility. When they made their way inside, Chris said this was the place, and Jill was like, “Yeah…”

The thing is, they always try to keep one another sharp, focused, and encouraged. So, it’s a natural reoccurrence, where Chris worries about her…excessively at times.

Again, with some people not understanding what is actually happening, I’m highlighting this to show the symbolism within this moment. Jill grabs TWO water bottles, and tosses one to Chris, assuring him that she’s “fine now,” basically to say he doesn’t need to/she doesn’t want him to worry so much about her. She’s trying to reclaim her life she had, to get back to her “old self” so to speak. This shows warmth and closeness. It’s like an invitation. Like someone saying, “Hey, come sit with me, grab a drink.” Jill’s not pushing him away, she’s INVITING him in. Chris is not leaving her side, and she doesn’t want him to. THEY BOTH KNOW THIS! Think about it. Jill had just RELOADED her gun, and was letting off some steam, but she stopped for him. She didn’t even complain about doing the paper work (assuming she actually did it).

Jill knows AHEAD of time, Chris is going to be stuck on her. She’s used to it.

^Chris giving no fucks about the poor pilot! I still LMAO at Jill’s glare at him.

^Jill already telling him to LISTEN to her, because she KNEW his ass was gonna be hung up on her.

“We can’t just leave you here!” & “Well yeah, but...” So IN character for Chris when it comes to Jill. I actually had to laugh during the film, when just like CVX AND Darkside Chronicles, Chris was willing to leave Claire by herself, but when it came to Jill he was dead set on finding her, and he didn’t want to be away from her. Heck he was about to ditch Sheva, and Piers even experienced something similar when he was going after Carla.

Jill LITERALLY had to repeat herself and put her HANDS on him to push his stubborn behind to leave her. Jill had to ask him a LITERAL question. “Don’t you trust your partner?” I’ve seen some people misinterpret this many times. Jill told Chris THEY (Chris/Sheva) had to stop Wesker, before it was too late. When he wouldn’t budge, she said he had to go on without her, as they were the only ones who could stop Wesker in time. She asked him if he trusted his partner, SHEVA! Like, after all this, don’t you trust this woman to help you by now? This is why both of them look at her! As you can see in my screens, Jill is even gesturing her hand over toward Sheva! She’s not talking about herself, which wouldn’t make any sense anyway, as they have trust. Chris needed to TRUST SHEVA to see things through. Have confidence THEY could make it, without her. Anywho...(:P)

Chris talking about someone being reckless, yet...

*Something those who played the 3ds version, will know is different right away.

When they were on their mission the night before, Chris got together with the local Swat team, and Jill went in ahead. Chris was telling her it sounded like it could be a bioweapon situation, and wanted her to cordon off the street and wait for backup. She calmly said she was already inside, and checking for survivors. He tried to get her to not rush in alone, but she got annoyed and cut him off before he could finish telling her it was an order. LOL! Jill was having none of that shit.

Her scoffing at him, for getting on her about her actions, is not because they are distant, I’d say, but rather it’s because this has been a recurring issue for them ever since she got back on the field with him. Jill’s basically trying to redeem herself, and feel more like her old self, by trying to stop the bad guys, trying to save anyone she can, regardless of the potential danger, yet more victims keep turning up dead or have to be put down. Then you have Chris feeling something is off with her, and he worries her actions will possibly get her or someone else killed. Perhaps now is the first time they’ve talked about it. Sometimes even the closest of people, have things they don’t talk about, or there could be some issues that a person feels they have to work through themself.

The writing doesn’t really give us much to go on sadly, we have to go with this idea, that there’s certain things they haven’t talked about. Jill not knowing of Piers really doesn’t make sense for many reasons, for instance, and I would hope the writer was just a little short-sighted, or simply phrased things a certain way for people unfamiliar with the games (maybe the games will address these issues in the future). When they reached her, he asked why she rushed in alone, and she said she wasn’t going to wait for backup, if there’s a chance someone is in danger (think of her leading Nemesis away from the subway station in RE3make or her attempting to save the security guard in the film). Jill’s frustration with his lack of understanding why she feels she needs to do this, is shown, when he brings up her actions again.

Chris mentioned “this guy” Piers, was someone he wanted to take his place on the field. Chris said himself, that after RE5’s events, he felt like he had accomplished all he had set out to do, and found the meaning behind what he fought for.

Thinking about the future, realizing what he was fighting for (which I’ll discuss more later in this post), and the possibility of other people like Wesker popping up, he chose to become a captain in the SOU, sometime after he and Jill returned from Africa (this path for him was something teased as an easter egg in RE5). Chris became overwhelmed by everything that happened in RE6— all of the death, regrets, and failures. He was DONE. Chris was so done, he chose the worst time to bring up Wesker to Jake, and did not care at all if Jake killed him, so long as he helped get a vaccine created.

^I included some parts of conversations between Chris/Sherry, Piers/Sherry, Jake/Chris and then Chris/Piers – to highlight how Chris was for sure retiring from the BSAA after this. How his behavior made him unpredictable and hard to rely on (which may be part of Chris’s annoyance with Jill in the film), and then Piers acknowledging that Chris did not need to recklessly put his life in danger with the way he approached Jake. He was not thinking straight.

His reckless behavior caused him to take Carla’s bait, and lead another team to their deaths, because his desire for revenge, and survivor’s guilt over the loss of his team in Edonia, blinded him to what mattered, and what was really going on.

Leon would eventually snap him out of that stupor, where Piers had been failing (part of that is because Chris was looking at Piers as his subordinate, not his equal). Leon physically stopped him from shooting ‘Ada,’ without knowing it was him at first, and he talked Chris down.

Their scene showed Leon providing a defensive, but more calm approach to dealing with Chris and his blind rage, rather than trying to meet him with the exact same energy. Chris couldn't win this argument, or deny the facts. Leon let him know there was a wider scope to what was going on, and that he was willing to protect ‘Ada’ all costs, not because he’s a “simp” (as some want to believe, but this isn’t the case), but because she’s a key witness to what’s going on with Simmons, and all of what was going on went back to him. Mind you Leon and Helena were also being framed by Simmons for the whole thing that happened in the US, and he lost a good friend in the then current president, whom he had to kill.

Ironically it was Piers who was shoving, violently, the images of their fallen comrades in Edonia, in Chris’ face, and telling him he owed it to them to remember (Complaining about the state he found Chris in even). Piers was encouraged to bring Chris to China depending on his condition (so he was not forced to do it, he just felt it was where he belonged) only because they had experience facing the BOWS present, and he told Chris he was bringing him back with his team, one way or another. Part of Chris, felt the only way he could remember and get his life back, was to join this mission in China. This meant Chris needed to take on a lot of responsibility. The problem was Chris was not ready for that, and HE needed time off. HE needed to be rehabilitated (dude even had acute memory loss from a severe head injury, and I despise how carelessly this game treated it and his mental health overall).

Chris was left in a situation with someone with the same hot-blooded temperament as him (even going so far as to tell Jake he’d have killed him if he had killed Chris, DESPITE Jake’s significance in saving the world). The whole FORCED Chris Vs Wesker thing being rehashed, made me roll my eyes, just like the predictable outcome for Piers. I always believed he would die before the game even dropped. Just because of how RE works. When Piers wasn’t meeting Chris with the same hot-headed energy, he sometimes made valid points to Chris.

Piers told Chris they should escort Sherry and Jake, and pointed out how Neo-Umbrella was after them. Mind you, that six months prior, Chris met Sherry, whom he knew all about from Claire. Think about that. Chris was so blinded by his RAGE, that he didn’t even CARE about Sherry’s well-being (he literally said they were on their own), after briefly assisting her and Jake. Chris was NOT thinking about how it would affect CLAIRE, if she found out that he NOT ONLY was the one who arranged for the chopper that Neo-Umbrella took down, and caused Sherry to go missing just as long as Chris was, but then he ran into her AGAIN, and left her to fend for herself? Imagine, what that would have done to their relationship! Then again Leon wasn’t even fully aware of the fact Sherry was an Agent in the DSO (a process which began right after Wesker was killed), and knew NOTHING about her going missing for six months! There is NO EXCUSE for that! That SHIT does NOT make ANY sense!

Chris, became distracted, and only cared about pursuing the snake that Carla unleashed SOLELY as a trap for Chris’ new team. Chris took the bait, and she mockingly said, “Looking for me boys?” She infected the only other survivor of their new team (who Chris couldn’t bring himself to kill before fully transforming just like in Edonia), and she said “Welcome to China!”

Piers lost his cool with Chris, because Chris kept being stubborn, and would not listen to reason. He was a loose canon once he resumed command. Chris had to refrain himself from becoming violent towards Piers, just to try and shut him up (Chris kept trying to use his rank to get Piers in line as well). Piers said some hurtful/triggering things to Chris once again, though I want to say his intention was to find a way to get Chris to listen to him, and think more clearly, by bringing up sore spots, like the rookie Finn. He even asked him what happened to the legendary Chris Redfield, and did he even care about their mission.

Some have claimed Piers should’ve said Jill, but the point is about this NEW ROLE Chris took on. Working with a new partner, Sheva, in RE5 was a big change for him. He never took on other partners, after losing Jill. He hated the feeling of being the “one who survived.” That’s why everything that would happen after RE5, depended solely on Jill’s survival. Having her back, made him feel it was all worth it. The both of them were sacrificing their own lives, so that others could live theirs. So, working with younger generations of soldiers that would entrust their lives to him, was a HUGE responsibility for Chris. He even told the team in Edonia, it was HIS job to make sure they made it out alive.

Chris no longer had Jill as a safety net, and it was no longer just them as a duo. He had taken on a new role with a team depending on his leadership, while she worked on reclaiming her life.

Chris had to deal with things like this. It wasn’t a surprise to me that Piers responded to Chris saying he wanted him to take his place as Captain, with reluctance. After everything that happened, it made sense why. He saw what happened to the man he looked up to, and aspired to be like, as did many others who had since perished. Though, we also would find out in the Marhawa Desire manga, which was set several months before the events in RE6, that Piers lost someone he was “very close” to, as Chris put it.

Merah Biji was someone Piers took an interest in. She wasn't the only girl (there was Sophie, and also him wishing he could say more to the “pretty” Captain’s Sister Claire), but she was the one he grew most attached to. Merah had lost her parents in the RC incident, and dedicated herself to stopping bioterrorism. She was a researcher who moved to the combat field. She trained against a bunch of men, and within a year, she was beating them in sparring sessions. The ace of the Far East branch, met the ace of the North America branch, both knew of who the other was…the rest was history.

When it comes to Merah, Piers was very much like Chris is with Jill. Giving her certain looks, taking particular interest in her and what she’s doing (even her eating habits), fiercely protecting her, and showing the utmost confidence in what they could do on the field together. They had a special bond, that CHRIS himself took notice of (smiling at them and even telling Piers to focus at one point), and he even told another character, Ricky, he wouldn’t dare let something happen to Merah, because he’d have to face Piers’s wrath. LOL! Merah moved him out of the way from an attack, and died from her wounds. Her last words telling Piers to work with Chris, and rid the world of bioterrorism.

^Merah literally was cut from the same cloth as Jill, and heck Sheva too for that matter as well!

So in a way, Piers was keeping a promise to Merah. I try to keep this in mind, in hindsight, as it’s very informative when trying to understand Piers’s own headspace. Piers himself was never meant to replace Chris. People talk about how the devs mentioned they thought about developing an alternate ending where Chris could die, but they didn’t do it because it felt cheap. They thought about doing the same thing with Jill in RE5. It would’ve just been a bad ending (like RE1 or Rev2). The thing is, Chris would’ve completely given up, and quit had Piers lived. There would’ve been no “good ending” if both lived. Piers had to die, for Chris to actually do what he said he needed to, which was to get his life back. They got the reaction they wanted from fans. This drama was done this way, because THEY felt Chris and Leon were too much alike, and since Chris just had RE5, they let him have the more dramatic story of the two.

Going back to the scene with Chris and Jill, one should be able to see how loaded Chris’s words to Jill are. He’s talking from his own experience without saying much. He even acknowledged that he probably would have done the same thing as her. Saying they always have to make tough choices like that. He’s telling her how they risk their lives all the time, but with them having been doing this for so long, they’ve become numb to what their fight encompasses. He warns her that they have to be that much more careful, because if they (not she, but they), let the numbness they feel get to them, it could engulf them right down to their very souls. Like, they could lose themselves in every sense of the word.

As a quick reference, this is Ricky from the manga. He’s trying to honor his uncle, who he saw himself a protector of, by trying to expose the woman who caused all of the tragedy. Note how he said he felt numb, as he watched all of the chaos and destruction in China.

Not once does Jill disagree with anything Chris said, but she’s frustrated, with how Chris doesn’t understand her. What she feels they need to be focused on. Why she feels she needs to be on the field, and why she’s behaving the way she does. It’s not just her trying to redeem herself, but she is pissed off, not at him, but at what this unknown bioterrorist(s) is doing. Jill’s real focus is aimed at the bad guys. Jill herself had been poisoned and used as a weapon, so you can bet Jill takes this personal. You literally can hear the anger in her tone when she says this. LONG ago, Jill made it her responsibility to protect others, and to fight so others could have futures (again same with Chris of course). So, if people want to dare say she’s a bitch for speaking her truth, and having some attitude then (like she’s NEVER shown anger/annoyance/frustration before, even though she wasn’t having shit from Wesker or even Barry in RE1)…

Rebecca must be a bitch!

Claire must be a bitch!

Sheva must be a bitch!

And the men are also just tryhard “boss bitches.” The list goes on!

All of that said, I mentioned earlier that Forgiveness is a reoccurring theme in stories Jill has been involved in. In RE1, her forgiveness/trust of Barry determines whether or not he lives or dies, and the impact extended far beyond that one game.

I included Barry’s story in Rev2, because Jill continues to have relevance in his life years later. Aside from references to her story in RE1 with Barry, Alex had used Uroboros as well (with Barry also making it clear he found out what happened in Africa…so I assumed he’d met up with Jill and Chris since her letter), but Jill’s forgiveness and understanding of Barry’s situation, is what allowed him to go on to live, and protect his family. He came back for Jill in the original RE3, and Jill (along with Chris) later invited him to join the BSAA, as an advisor. Claire even got to meet Barry and his family. Jill maintained her friendship with Barry, and she wanted him to heal his relationship with Moira, and told him not to be overbearing (in the Japanese text she outright told him she thinks he can be too meddling with the girls), and to cherish his time with his loved ones.

These connections would lead Barry on a path to find his daughter, and her overcoming her own fears, taking responsibility for her own actions, becoming a survivor, and appreciating what she had. Both of them were able to realize their own faults, and find forgiveness AND understanding from each other. Barry admitted he could be overbearing, which means he took to heart what Jill told him. Moira herself had also saw firsthand, the kind of loneliness and grief a father can feel, over regrets and devastating loss.

Brad abandoned the team at the start of RE1, out of fear, but hovered around the area, trying to make contact. He was never brave enough to face the reality of the situation head on. Ultimately him not leaving, allowed the remaining STARS members to escape alive. Brad chose to not fight back against Umbrella, like Jill and Chris were. In the remake of 3, Brad heard of Jill’s situation, and her plans to move out of RC (due to her investigation being stopped). He delivered a pizza with a slipped note to her, and Jill wrote back to him, though she never got to deliver it to him.

Brad, said he hoped that Jill wasn’t mad at him for keeping his head down, when the others had been trying to build a case against UB. He wasn’t trying to fight back, and was able to keep his job. He told her he had to slip this message using the pizza delivery guy. Jill was replying back to him over everything he asked about. Jill showed her forgiveness to Brad, by wanting to ask him to get involved, and pick up with where her investigation left off, IF he heard something happened to her.

If you look in Jill’s apartment, she left notes on her poster for this same delivery service he used, that ran 24/7, so she intended on using the same method as him, to try and get her package sent to him. Jill had been packing up her stuff to move to a new place (which is shown at the end of the game). Jill never had a chance to deliver her package to him, due to the spies monitoring her apartment (there was other activity going on in the city as well). Nonetheless, Brad would try to warn her about Nemesis, and after being bitten, Jill did not want to leave him behind, so he asked if they were still a team. She said “Always” (meaning she had forgiven him), and Brad told her not to fuck up like he did, before pushing her to go on without him. Jill thus, was thrusted into a situation, where someone she trusted was taken from her.

However, that said, look at Jill’s opening monologue to OG RE3:

Jill mentioned that no one dared oppose UB, and this inaction would ultimately lead to their destruction. She said that perhaps they had to suffer the consequences of their actions, but she would NOT forgive them. You see her shut her eyes like, damn if ONLY these people had actually done something. This hurts her. Jill would be placing blame on the traitors within the RPD, possibly those who chose not to believe their story and just carry on as if nothing happened (literally most of STARS was wiped out mind you), and those who KNEW UB was up to no good, and corrupt, for just sitting back and letting things happen. Look at Marvin in OG RE2, he said Chris, Barry, and herself, risked their lives trying to expose UB, but no one believed them. So it’s understandable why Jill would be hurt and upset (the remakes tell things differently though). Things did not have to end up the way they did. This is LITERALLY no different than how she feels in Death Island, as it was hard for her to really empathize with Dylan, because what he was doing was unforgiveable and he would not stop (much like Ada’s views on Carla in RE6). His nightmare totally consumed him. There was NO WAY IN HELL she would sit back and do nothing!

Even Chris himself had become desperate when all of their attempts to expose UB were thwarted.

Jill’s diary:

Jill wrote about how Chris winked at her, after she stopped him after he punched an officer, and the truth there, was Chris did this on purpose, so he would get “suspended” or go on “vacation” from work. Chris was fed up with not getting anywhere. It was Chris’s way of hinting it was all good, and he had something brewing. When Chris asked her to come over, late one night, she was shocked to see how he had been fighting on his own, without even telling her of all people. That said, here is what Chris said in his own diary:

Even though RE3 introduced some retcons to the lore, to account for Jill being removed as the lead of CV, they were very careful to make sure things made sense timeline wise. Chris mentioned that he was running out of options. If you look at his diary, and other notes, even in RE3, you will realize that zombies and BOWS were popping up BEFORE Chris left for Europe! Yet some people act like Jill has no right to be pissed off! They were trying to expose UB, and they were not getting help from ANY of the townspeople that were under UB’s payroll. Plenty was being covered up!

Days later Chris decided to “act up” at work, which allowed him to do some investigating without the prying eyes of traitors in the RPD and UB. Capcom would say that Jill saw Chris off to Europe, and continued her own solo investigation. The remake timeline however, doesn’t state that she would go off to Europe, and her plans were not suggested to involve joining up with Barry or Chris (though Chris didn’t tell her not to eventually join him). Her plans ended up being to move out of RC (before the events of the game began), so she could continue to find a way to hold UB accountable for their actions.

Seriously, all the BS about Jill having no personality, or how she’s been turned into something unrecognizable, or the bullshit takes about how she’s just like Chris (hilarious when really many characters are following their templates tbh…as I said they even point out how alike Leon and Chris are), and BS about how she’s a bitch because she doesn’t entertain stupid jokes from people she just met, especially when she’s focused on bigger issues, or has VALID reasons not to completely trust people on UB’s payroll etc. It’s tired! Some folks really do not have a grasp on these characters IMO, and some probably spend too much time projecting what they THINK a character outta be, versus seeing them for what they actually are. Opinions are fine, but people should at least KNOW what they are talking about, instead of spreading BS.

Let’s look at some of Jill’s bios.

Jill – joined STARS because she couldn’t abide by the evil threatening the lives of citizens, wants experiences that make her feel alive, is strong-minded, questions things and will stop at nothing to find answers, says what she thinks, in a frank manner, has a strong sense of justice and responsibility, is impulsive, but behaves calmly during missions, cheerful, independent and determined. The list goes on.

I’ve seen people talk about how she treats the UBCS in RE3make, as if she hadn’t been disrespected, or had valid reasons not to immediately trust them. She was spied on, UB sent nemesis, and Mikhail even knew who she was. I’d have red flags up too!

^Literally some think she actually changed. Trust from her is EARNED. After the betrayals she faced, and all the shadiness going on, it’s wise that she not immediately trust everyone.

Jill trusting any of them had to be earned. She tried to be helpful, and showed concern for many of them, even refrained herself at times, dealing with Nicholai’s BS. She even apologized for a rough start with Carlos, whom she had to rely on (she didn’t have the luxury of depending on people she trusted completely...i.e Chris or Barry). To say she changed in RE3make would be a foolish claim. Her situations changed, and she gave her fitting reactions to things. The characters around her ALL changed. She didn’t take bs (as usual), didn’t care for small talk, she was impulsive, spoke her mind freely, and generally put up her “strong” side, but when the time called for it, her softer side/tone showed itself. She even said “sorry” to corpses of civilians!

^Jill being considerate of other people’s conditions, and being supportive in BOTH RE3 games. Wow! Who knew she could be so consistent?! :P

I’ve said in the past, that this war on bioterrorism is PERSONAL for both Jill and Chris, because THEY were used as guinea pigs to collect combat data on bioweapons. Set up to be slaughtered all for GREED and POWER. They had targets placed on them after surviving that nightmare. Many other characters had relatives who were victims, and their lives changed, or it was by circumstance they got involved. So for Jill, it would be foolish to think she would be content with sitting on her ass doing nothing, or going to get drunk, to numb the pain. That is something typically displayed by the males in this series like Parker, Leon, Alexander (Buddy), and Chris. That reminds me…Remember that time in Vendetta, when Chris went to recruit Leon, since he had experience with the Los Illuminados (yeah they still exist post RE4 apparently)?

Chris treated Leon’s drunken state, a lot like how Piers treated him—getting verbally aggressive, getting in his face, and not really caring (at first) about what he was going through emotionally, because “I got a job for you.” And “It’s OUR mission to bring his ass down!” In both situations, they were hoping to find these guys in a better state of being, so they could just go handle some business against bioterrorists who, in both cases, there was a 6 month time gap as well. Chris became physically aggressive with someone, so he needed to be stopped, and Rebecca had to check Chris and Leon’s BS so they could focus on what mattered. This new virus had a trigger, and it was unknown just how many were already infected. She said, she didn’t think either of them were the kind of people who would sit there and argue, while the world dies. Leon sitting there feeling sorry for himself, and Chris letting a personal vendetta get the best of him (again).

The approach in how someone handles someone can make all the difference, and unfortunately Chris’s dialog with Leon about how he could relate was cut, due to budget being put more into explosions/action over character, and only left in the novel. All that remained was Chris restating he needed him (in his best state) for this mission, and he could use his knowledge and skills. This is NOTHING like Chris’s approach with Jill though. Even with Chris being annoyed by her perceived recklessness, he’s ALWAYS tender in his approach with her, even with this threat rapidly increasing in numbers.

Jill doesn’t blow Chris off when he’s talking about his experience, and allows him to speak his piece. Yes, she went back to what she was doing, but that’s because there was literally nothing left to say. She felt justified, and that was that. Chris is not the boss of her. She’s not his subordinate. They are equals in their relationship.

She didn’t kick him out or tell him to fuck off, even when he was trying to talk to her again, he also doesn’t fight her on her desire to pursue the bad guys. Jill told Chris that, at least with her, she couldn’t afford to sit around and think about the numbness, their souls, etc. They needed to focus on stopping whoever was responsible for what was going on. She TOO isn’t one to sit around as the world dies. Also like Rebecca told Leon, Jill isn’t trying to sit there and feel sorry for herself. Again, she is pissed off about what’s happening because of bioterrorists. She’s spent LONG enough not doing what she dedicated her life to. SACRIFICING things she would like for herself, for the sake of OTHERS in the world. We as viewers, have to consider Jill literally was an UNWILLING participant in bioterrorist activity, and the fact she had to spend YEARS before she could PHYSICALLY do the work she committed her life to doing. Based on what we know, again, she had been inactive on the field for nearly a decade!

Jill has had more than enough experiences where she’s been isolated and could do nothing but sit in her feelings. RE3make and RE5 both had her being caged, be it in her physical living space/city, or her own body.

She had people spying on her 24/7 for several days in the remake, she was worried about possibly still being infected from the mansion, having daily nightmares, and felt that UB would come for her (which they did with Nemesis).

You’re talking about a girl that CLEARLY came from a very outdoorsy/outgoing life. There were also other things and people she clearly cherished (two of them look like they could be Chris and Claire tbh). Her investigative work shown in RE3make, showed she was willing and able to dig deep to get answers. It’s no surprise that she was struggling with not being able to progress further. Her home became more like a prison for her.

In RE5, Jill was no longer being treated like a human being, but just as a personal test subject for Wesker, with OTHER humans aiding in his research and bioweapon development. Then she was forced to act as a bioterrorist, obeying orders from these twisted individuals. Consider how Jill really did not have a reason to hope for release, unless she had hoped and prayed Chris would find her. Even if she did, she still had to watch her body do things against him. The same man she had giving her life for. It was not done for the BSAA, or because “he’s my partner.” It’s simply because she cares that deeply for Chris. She could not watch him die. There were no last words or goodbyes. For Chris, she didn’t hesitate, and was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, in hopes of stopping their nemesis.

I’ve referenced this multiple times in the past, but for a better grasp of Jill’s POV in RE5, take a look at her thoughts from the Biohazard 5 Kaitai Shinsho.

Jill had given her life for Chris, only to have Wesker save her from perishing from their fall. He healed her body, with the intent on getting his revenge on her. The same woman who called HIM a slave of Umbrella (which he’d just found out was true). After being unable to enact his revenge, the way he originally intended to, he was said to have wanted to give her a suffering worse than death. Death being the only thing he wished to give Chris. He underestimated both once again, and was so sure that Chris would not live to see the world he was set to create.

After using her to finish his Uroboros project, Wesker used P-30 as a form of torture and control. Sure he might have even been able to sell it for funds or something, but he had no real use for this chemical in his endgame plans with Uroboros. Bare in mind also, Wesker generally, does not keep anything/anyone around beyond their usefulness to him. Because he could no longer use Jill as his first test subject (her antibodies developed from her infection in RE3 made her immune), he found another use for her. He disguised her in a way that didn’t just hide her, but made her something to be feared, as she left death and destruction behind her, which went against her very nature.

^She has to live with these scars. Stuff like this is why she would want to try and SAVE a life. That is who she is!

The woman who thought Wesker was trash for how he manipulated and used Barry as a puppet for his own selfish purposes, he was now doing that, but on a far worse scale with Jill. It’s arguable that Lisa Trevor went through the worst situation of any character in RE, but the main difference here, is that things with Jill were done on a personal level, and her mind had not eroded—she was fully aware and knew who she was.

Even though Chris was able to break through to Jill, and push herself to fight harder to resist, Wesker would overdose Jill, knowing it would cause her to suffer even more. We as viewers, have to consider that the more Jill tried to put up a fight, the more painful fighting (for even just a brief moment of control) was for her.

You can see Jill grabbing her head, crying out in pain as she fights for control. The entire fight, anytime you see Jill like this, this is Jill FIGHTING to be back at Chris’s side! The same way Jill’s whereabouts were fueling Chris along his personal objective, Jill has Chris pushing her to remember him, to fight for herself and to remember who she is. His faith in her, allowed her to help him, help her break free. That is how powerful their connection is.

I know that was a lot there, but with that in mind, one can understand that, despite some shortcomings within the writing, this conversation between Jill and Chris in the film, is the very definition of INTIMACY!

I occasionally see people lacking an understanding of what real intimacy is, and some not even understanding that sex and intimacy are not mutually exclusive. You can have sex and it literally be nothing but a passing moment of time (and not necessarily anything enjoyable for those involved). It’s different when there’s more of a spiritual and intimate connection involved. There’s so much asinine discourse about who should be fucking who…literally seeing people act like Jill OWES sex to Carlos for instance, because he got her the vaccine, and I’m like, “Well damn! In that case, I guess based on all of her other outings, Jill would be giving her body to Barry, Chris, Josh, Parker, Sheva, etc. Don’t forget Kendo for making her handgun, or the people who trained her in her military career!”

I’ve seen even some shippers who focus almost solely on Chris and Jill having sex, as a way to “consummate” their feelings. Some even saying the ONLY VALID reason Jill has not been around or mentioned (even up through Village), is either they fell out, or because she MUST be at home raising her and Chris’ children. It’s bad enough other people will say, she must have retired because it was “too much for her.” Some even out here acting like ALL of the women should be ignored and the focus should stay on the male leads. Like PLEASE. I’ve always said, Jill couldn’t just up and return in some random ass story, without her baggage being addressed. That would be a DISSERVICE to her character, to ignore her personal story. Hell, it’s barely even touched on in Death Island, but the production team, KNEW they had to consider what happened to her, when choosing her to lead the film.

I’ve also said before that Jill would ONLY grow MORE DETERMINED to eradicate all of this evil and corruption from the world. THAT is who she has ALWAYS BEEN! It’s ALWAYS been part of her character. It is LITERALLY the reason she joined STARS. Also…Chris did order his soldiers to pick up the rest of the squad, before heading off to BSAA’s main HQ...IJS! She COULD be working with him, kind of like how Zoe made connections with him and some other agents. Chris and Jill do INDEPENDENT stuff as well, even if for the same cause. They just would not establish anything, without having re-established Jill’s character.

Now, about intimacy… Encyclopedia Britannica defines intimacy this way:

Intimacy - the state of being intimate, which is marked by the consensual sharing of deeply personal information. It has cognitive, affective, and behavioral components. Intimates reveal themselves to one another, care deeply about one another, and are comfortable in close proximity.

There are SOOOOO many different types and levels to what intimacy brings, and how it can evolve within a given relationship. Beyond sexual/physical intimacy and expression, there are things such as:

Intellectual intimacy

Emotional closeness

Spiritual bond

Understanding self and partner

Mutual respect

Communication

Vulnerability

Trust

Independence

These are qualities that exist within Jill and Chris’ personal relationship. It’s something they uniquely share, between each other in this series. They have both worked with others for the majority of their appearances, but the constant is their relationship with each other, sits above the rest. They ALWAYS find their way back to each other, and they don’t really feel whole without the other.

They weren’t assigned partners on one off or circumstantial situations, they chose, or rather they CHOOSE each other. Hell, one might argue it was fate, like how Chris said maybe it was fate how after killing Wesker, he ends up having to save his son, to fight off a virus. Jill and Chris already had a very close bond before we ever see them, and it continues to last even during all of the years they are apart/don’t appear with each other. Death Island makes this abundantly clear. Jill can ‘shoot the shit’ with Chris, right after having a disagreement. Not even addressing each other as partners, yet they operate as two halves of a whole.

They share mutual interests, and ideals, and know each other better than anyone else. They always keep an eye on each other, and show a mutual need for the other to be alive and well. They would stop at nothing to be there for the other (hell Chris didn’t even want to leave her behind when the whole world was at risk). They respect each other, they are most vulnerable with each other, and their trust has always been there. They don’t have to say they love each other, their actions show it, and others recognize what they have between them. It’s even been exploited by others as a plot point.

Hell, Claire knew what she was getting into by calling on the both of them. When Jill complained about not being able to get anywhere with their investigation, if they stuck around with the tourists, Claire offered to break away from them, so they could do their own thing. She witnessed her brother prioritize Jill over everything else, and was shown observing Chris’s reaction to moments with Jill! She knows what’s up!

^Claire is very observant. IJS. Heck, CLAIRE is guilty of the SAME thing, when she got STUCK on “the type of man she’s attracted to.”

LOL! It’s no different than Parker witnessing Jill’s desperation in finding Chris. The way she lit up hearing that he was ok, and hearing his voice. “Chris!” Not ONCE did Jill ever show the SLIGHTEST concern for hating ass Jessica! LOL! Chris was at least professional about it, saying Jill AND Parker’s names, but Jill was STUCK on Chris! As calm as she was in general, she didn’t even try to hide it. LOL!

^Parker suggested Chris work with Jill, fully understanding she deeply cared about Chris, and would probably feel better working with him.

Note that Chris does not say it, but part of the subtext in their gun range scene, is that Chris is utterly afraid of losing JILL. He CANNOT lose HER! Again, Chris has implied that since her return to the field, HE PERSONALLY, has been with her EVERY STEP of the way. Just like it was him, and him alone, who spent YEARS doing everything he could to find some clue that she was alive, as he REFUSED to believe she perished (a feeling that Jill shared over him as RE1 and her OG RE3 epilogue have shown). It was what was fueling him throughout the entire story of RE5. It was Chris who was still spending time with Jill after Africa (according to Jill). He’s being her consistent support system.

Chris was so desperate to find her, he was afraid to let go of any hint that she was alive. In this moment here, he WHISPERS her name to himself (whispering being a thing they both do over one another as well), and then he chose not to tell Sheva anything.

^He looked at Jill’s image, as if she were his lover. This isn’t some OOC fanfic, this is what’s been stated and shown on screen.

He questioned the value of all of his efforts, and for him to figure out if it was worth it, EVERYTHING depended on HER survival. His will to keep fighting, his next steps in the BSAA, and this war on Bioterrorism, all hinged upon Jill’s survival.

That pause in his statement says it all—Chris could not move forward without finding the missing piece of his heart. This is no different than how in the film, Chris was willing to look for Jill on his own. “I’ll find Jill.”

There are some who I have seen state they think Chris doesn’t, or wouldn’t want Jill on the field, out of fear of losing her, and honestly, I never got that impression, even from the trailer. With Claire, even with her skills, Chris has told her at times, for her to leave, or stay somewhere else, while he attempted to handle something. With Jill, he prefers to have her around, he doesn’t want to be separated. Even with the risk of BOTH of them dying. He’d rather die fighting beside her/for her. It goes both ways.

“Excuse me.”

“He’s all yours!”

Chris casually coming in, fighting beside her like the good old days. This is THEIR kind of fun on the field. This is like “old times” for them. You legit can see Jill’s amusement. This is what she needed from him. This helps her feel more like herself. These kind of moments make her feel alive! Even when his sister is around, he wants to be by Jill’s side.

This shows a man who wants someone close to him, to take a piece of the action (literally she runs like she was just gifted a box of toys to play with), a man who does what his other half needs him to, and a man who supports her, and does not want to let her face what’s ahead of her alone.

^You can even see him grab the prison cell bars, watching her, when Dylan attempts to test her, by trying to get her to kill Claire. He understands what this could be doing to her mentally, as this is TORTURE for Jill. I see it as him silently showing his support for her.

They are a battle couple that can be casual on and off the field. Their casual interactions help keep the edge off, and it’s familiar ground for them. It’s part of their consistent dynamic.

This is the face of an infected Chris, comforted by the fact Jill was still out there, which gave them all a chance. That said I want to highlight some things from the Umbrella Chronicles novels.

Now aside from these two joking around, like about Chris cursing around her, and calling Jill “sweetheart” etc., there came a point during their raid on UB’s Russia based lab, where Jill started to think about her past, and opened up to Chris about what made her who she IS. Why she does what she does. Honestly, it’s one of the most intimate conversations in the entire franchise.

Jill thought about a time from her childhood, where she was still so naïve about some of the grim realities of the world. She was injured, and while Chris was tending to her wounds, Jill talked about an incident with a little boy that was beaten and killed by his father. All of this happened in a small town. This changed everything for her. Chris wondered if she perhaps wished she hadn’t been born, and Jill was like NO WAY! She’s GRATEFUL to be alive. Chris worried about how PALE she looks…sound familiar?

EVEN IN THIS MOMENT, Chris is expressing how relieved he was to see she’s alright! In this novel, he’s looking at her bravely put on a smile, telling him:

“Chris was under the impression that she had been doing this all her life.” That is so powerful.

^Again...they are so consistently portrayed.

Jill is very head-strong, and she won’t stop doing what she’s doing to try and make the world safer. She can’t afford to sit around and do nothing, and that comes at a cost. After defeating TALOS, they had another moment, but I’m gonna save that for a bit. However, I’ve referenced this part of the story before, but look at Jill’s conversation with Chris about a life she wondered if she could ever have:

You see Chris was continuing to support Jill, even with his own injuries. It didn’t bother him (just like when he allowed her to rest on his shoulder in RE1 – that’s consistency!!!). They allude to what would end up happening in RE5, with them pursuing Spencer. Chris suggested the soldier seemed to like Jill, and she jokingly said maybe she should marry him. Chris is like, “Really? This guy?” Jill then begins to open up to him again. She expressed the idea of her getting married, building a family, growing old and watching over her grandchildren, and asked Chris if he thought she could lead such a life (a much simpler life away from all of this fighting). Chris, being his usual self with her, assured her, that she COULD have all of those things, but it depended on having the right “partner” (a term especially associated with them, that also has multiple meanings). Then he looked at her and winked. It says that this seemed like a new behavior to Jill. Somehow…that behavior caught her off guard.

One could interpret it in other ways, I suppose, but that’s a pretty heavy-handed hint that Chris is telling Jill, with no words, he would want those same things with her. Even with all the death around them, and their fight not truly being over, it was something worth fighting for, especially with the right person. Both of them have gone through it for each other. They are WORTH everything to each other. They don’t have to say it, because their ACTIONS tell their story. He’s telling her HE is there for her. He wants her to be happy, and he’s happy with her. When she’s down, or not in her best state, he is down.

One thing that always sticks out to me about them though, is how they END their stories. EVERY single joint appearance they’ve had, they are comforted by each other’s presence and have a moment. In RE1, Chris and Jill always choose to sit side by side. He allows Jill to rest on him. In their paired ending, originally, Jill would reach out for Chris to hold her hand, and then she observes him for a moment. They are both trying to take in what just happened, but they find comfort in each other. No words needed to be spoken. In the remake, he admires her ability to sleep and is comforted by her presence. They literally have no PEACE, if the other is not around and ok.

In endings leading up to RE5, Chris catches Jill observing the sky, deep in thought. He tries to comfort Jill, by highlighting their “accomplishments,” even though Jill is still thinking about the storms to come, because their efforts weren’t enough (i.e Wesker still being a threat), or come at a high cost (such as the presumed death of Parker). Even when he talks about other accomplishments, such as in this film, or killing Wesker, he looks back at Jill, and there’s this unspoken satisfaction, in seeing HER able to smile and have some peace. His stare LINGERS on her both times. In RE5, she’s happy and relieved Wesker’s dead. That brings him joy. One of their nightmares is over. He just keeps looking at her, even before his final thoughts are expressed.

There’s a reason why his closing statement in RE5, is stated when HE is staring at Jill. He doesn’t say her name. Just like he didn’t say it in the opening segments of RE5. We found OUT his “personal stake” was Jill. He was willing to throw his life away for her, above all else! He could not let go of her. Chris looked at Jill MULTIPLE times in that scene. He looked at Jill when he thought about the WORTH of his efforts (He’s not looking at Sheva…SHEVA is looking at THEM looking at each other), and after Jill stares back at him, he looks away with a grin. To have this moment, after all of that time apart, the hell both of them endured, a simple moment such as this, was worth it all. Fighting for THAT “future” they both strive for (one without fear). The way I see it, the UC novel, in a way, was suggesting that that life Jill would LIKE to have, is something being SACRIFICED for the greater good. FEAR, made her question if it was at all possible.

The way they get so stuck on each other (and it’s hilarious how some fans claim Jill harbors a crush on HIM and Chris is just married to his work… :P), shows DEVOTION exists between the two of them. I mentioned I was saving a moment from the UC novel, and here it is:

The take away I get from this exchange, is simply how comfortable they are with each other. Even with all of the suffering they endure, they are each other’s comfort zone. All of that, and Jill jokes about divorcing him if they were on a honeymoon. Chris says not to worry, as they’d be spared of such monsters. Project X Zone does something similar.

Not only do you have them doing the “Don’t worry” thing again, you have BOTH assuring the other, that they would always be there for each other (and they say it confidently).

You also have Jill “threaten” to call off their engagement partnership, if he dares start to emit fire and electricity from his hands!

Again with the consistency!

There’s even a non-canon RE1 prequel story, Biohazard: The Beginning, where Chris is getting grilled by Jill for withholding information (she doesn’t play about justice/getting to the truth!). Chris in various versions of the story, alludes to some feelings he has about her/her character, he tries to get her to stop interrogating him by suggesting she wants to go out with him, he pays attention to what is bothering her, they joke around, and he finds comfort in her presence.

Again, there is just so much consistency in the way their relationship is written all over!

All in all, I love what Chris and Jill’s relationship is, and what it brings out of both characters. I don’t care if others don’t like it, or don’t see it for what it’s been said to be about. I appreciate all it represents. The film gave me more of what I expected. The film did not do any damage to their relationship, as some tried to suggest to others in the fandom, and they damn sure had plenty of chemistry. They put smiles on each other’s faces! Some people even got worked up over Jill FINALLY interacting with other characters...smdh. Like, it’s about damn time she did! Still, in regards to them, it was just classic Chris/Jill. No labels needed to be placed on what their relationship is, it’s still as solid as ever.

Along with that, I also wanted to show a bit of how Jill has not changed, contrary to what some seem to think. She’s still the same chic she was in RE1, but with more experiences behind her. She’s actually very consistent.

I know this was a VERY long post, but if anyone enjoyed it and/or learned something from it, I’m glad.

#Resident Evil #Jill Valentine #Chris Redfield #Valenfield #Resident Evil Death Island #Death Island spoilers #LONG Post #Jill X Chris #Chris X Jill

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lc-holy · 11 months

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What a finale... I want to talk about it.

But before I start, I'd like to say one thing, I've known about the season 5 finale for months, so I knew what to expect. (Yes, I was spoiled about the finale...)

One thing's for sure, the finale was much more epic once I saw the final result. I was very nervous from what I'd heard and after seeing/reading a few pages of scripts but in the end I thought the finale had good action scenes, good dialogue, emotion and it was nice to see the characters from the special episodes (they didn't take up too much screen time so that's okay).

Honestly, I wouldn't have liked this ending if it were to be the end of the series, it's not satisfying at all, and even everything is too perfect to be true, and I think that's intentional. I understand why Chat noir isn't present, but I wouldn't have liked a series ending without a finale with Ladybug and Chat noir fighting together.

I suppose many people will be disappointed by this ending if they were expecting a real conclusion.

However, I'm still confused, especially about Gabriel's fate. Did he resurrect Emilie? Thomas doesn't want to answer that question on twitter, surely we'll see in season 6. (I just went back on twitter and Thomas says that with the message they've been trying to get across for 5 seasons, we should be able to guess, so I guess it's Amélie and not Emilie. If anyone says to me "but in the script it says that..." The script isn't supposed to be publicly available, so no matter what it says, I'll take what we're shown in the end result).

For me, this final scene rings false, in the sense that there is so much left unsaid. Gabriel pretends to be the hero of the story? Ladybug, Nathalie, Félix, Kagami and Plagg say nothing to Chat Noir and/or Adrien about Gabriel? it's bound to have repercussions later on. Tomoe gets away with being as cruel as Gabriel? What's her deal with Gabriel? What about Lila in the end? Does she now know Ladybug's secret identity? What was that light she saw? I like to think it has something to do with Gabriel. Could it be one of the consequences of Gabriel's wish? A new threat?

And Adrien says he doesn't know if one day he'll be able to be like his father (talking about his sacrifice). He probably feels guilty for not having had the "courage" to go and fight Monarch with Ladybug, maybe he blames himself that his father died because of him? I wonder if we'll get a reverse of season 4, with Chat noir distancing himself from Ladybug because he's afraid of being akumatized, and blaming himself for his father's death.

(But don't worry Adrien, thanks to you we were able to get Bugnoire).

And Marinette, who must be terrified of telling Adrien the truth, especially after the nightmare she's had.

I can't get excited for the characters during the last few minutes of the episode, everything seems wrong, like the calm before the storm. And if this is it, I can't wait to see what happens next.

Overall, I enjoyed the finale, but I'm also very confused by the end of the episode. Again, I think that's the intended effect. I can't wait to see what the writers have planned next!

#While we wait for season 6 I'm looking forward to the special Paris episode.#I can't wait to see some Ladynoir (or evil Ladynoir) again I miss them too much.#ml spoilers #ml conformation #ml recreation #ml s5 spoilers

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god-complex-12 · 11 months

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I saw a post talking about Miguel’s sexuality and that he was aro ace or something like that, and the user was telling writers to stop writing Miguel sexually. I’m not sure if they were joking or being serious, but either way I had something to say. And I mean this with respect, no hate to that person at all. They did nothing wrong.

Character’s sexualities are constantly being played around with by writers, fans, and artists. I am a male reader writer, so I write a lot of characters being partly homosexual. I know these characters aren’t canonically homosexual, but if I write for the character, I have to make them that way to fit what I’m going for.

Fan fiction is purely fake, it has no effect on the actual character, it’s simply used for the enjoyment of fans who want to be with a character. And some people can’t because a character is heterosexual, so we alter the sexuality for the character to be more accessible.

We also make characters AFAB/AMAB for our own enjoyment. In smut fics, sometimes, a writer will alter a characters anatomy just to spice things up.

So writing Miguel (or any other character) in a sexual way despite that their sexuality isn’t that way, doesn’t matter. Because we do it all the time. He’s not real. If he was real, then I’d get it. Say an actor, say Oscar Isaac to be specific, said “Please, don’t sexualize me, I’m ace.” Then I’d understand. But since he’s a fictional character, and fans constantly play around with characters sexuality and anatomy, it’s just not that big of a deal.

Now, if a character was a minor, I’d completely agree as well. Writing smut for a minor is disgusting in my opinion. But once again, Miguel O’Hara isn’t typically written as a minor.

Once again, this is just meant to be educational, and to inform people that writing for a of age character in a sexual light isn’t bad even if they’re a different sexuality. Fan fiction is meant to be fake and to alter characters to reach a certain expectation.

(Also, that user got a lot of hate in the comments for being informative, and I think that was very wrong. The user didn’t deserve that for that simple post, and I’m not trying to hate on them, I’m simply trying to show people that it’s not as bad as you might think. The user is welcome to not read those smut fics and to not write them, that is okay. So do not hate on someone just because they think of something differently about a character.)

#NORMAN’S; rants #god complex 12 #x reader #x y/n #x you #x male reader #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara fanfiction #fanfiction #arosexual #acesexual #sexuality #characters sexuality #writing #Oscar Isaac

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blainesebastian · 1 year

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expectant (ccg universe)

words: 1,844 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request) “how reader tells austin she is pregnant” warnings: none notes: other anon i got your request for disneyworld, etc. will be writing it, just might take a min. i’m leaving for a long weekend vacation, but will begin writing something for it when i get back :3 thanks everyone! tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylespresleyhearted

Here’s the thing about plans—you enjoy having them but also realize that a lot of perfect surprises come along when you’re not restricting yourself to a step-by-step checklist. You’re not gonna lie to yourself that you’ve had a ten-year plan or even a five year one, that’s too far in advance, too many things can happen. You’ve known people with these stipulations, have watched them break themselves into small pieces to achieve goals that don’t even make sense anymore.

You’ve decided a long time ago that that wasn’t going to be you. There has to be flexibility or you’ll drive yourself crazy.

So when it comes to starting a family with Austin, it’s not something you both have mapped out exactly. You’ve talked about it plenty of times, that promise of eventually lingering like a pleasant breeze, just passing through.

Maybe that’s why it comes as such a shock when the third test comes back with the exact same notification: pregnant.

You stare at it a long moment, tapping your fingers against the sink. Well…you suppose that makes sense. The past week or so, you’ve been off and on with feeling funky. You just figured you were run-down from work, another script you’ve been working on, characterization just not clicking for you despite positive feedback from Austin and a few other writer friends you’ve met on sets. There’s always something you’ve been able to blame for feeling sickly—not enough sleep, too many drinks at the bar, staying up too late with a cup more caffeine than you usually do.

Apparently none of those things have been the culprit.

“Pregnant,” You whisper and that single word seizes you, closing around your ribcage, pushing the bones together—it suddenly feels very real.

Somehow a hundred plans come to mind along with nothing specific at all. There are so many things out there that catch your eye about telling your significant other that you’re pregnant. Some ideas range from adorable, to ridiculous, to overwhelming. There’s nothing wrong than just…showing him the pregnancy stick? But at the same time, you want more.

Next time you see him, when he comes home from work, you can just tell him…there’s no need to do anything fancy. Save that for the gender reveal, right? Even though you’re not about to overdo that either. Maybe cupcakes with different color icing on the inside.

Universe must be working against you though because an hour before Austin is due home, you can feel a migraine coming on. You can’t take your medication while pregnant and you feel like you barely make it into the bedroom before it completely takes your knees out. You squeeze your eyes shut, telling Siri to send a text to Austin just to keep him in the loop.

And that’s how he finds you, in bed, covers pulled up and over your head.

Austin comes into the bedroom quietly, moving to the blinds to pull them down. He then sits near your hip, his hand stroking along your side in patterned, even strokes. You move slowly, not wanting to make the pain any worse, like sharp shards behind your eyes. You let out a long breath, removing the sheets from over your head. Austin gives you a gentle smile, pushing your hair aside, his thumb rubbing a tense muscle at the back of your neck.

“You expired?” He teases with a whisper.

A soft chuckle rumbles in your chest and you shrug your one shoulder—kinda, maybe. Not completely. Your temples are pounding and the light, even dulled by the blinds being down, hurts your eyes. It’ll pass though. You’re not sure whether the nausea is from being pregnant or from your brain feeling like it’s being tapped with a hot poker. Your stomach does a full swoop, glancing up at Austin and…

Right, you were going to tell him. The words get stuck right in your throat, thick as molasses.

“Can I get you anythin’?” He asks, moving to circle his fingers at one of your temples, massaging. God—feels incredible. “Meds? Water?”

Your stomach does another flip and your fingers tighten their hold on the sheets you have pulled up to your chin, “Maybe some water, meds didn’t work.” And that’s happened before, if you don’t take them in time. You clear your throat, reaching for his wrist though when he goes to move, “Don’t go yet.”

You run your finger along the inside of his wrist, debating on words that crawl up into your mouth. You had nothing special planned, it didn’t matter how you told Austin the news. But…part of you keeps repeating not like this—not when you feel like you do, miserable and kinda sick and a pounding against your eardrums.

Austin hums lightly and moves to crawl in bed beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist. You sigh out, comfortable, allowing your eyes to close as you catch whiffs of his cologne as he draws you close.

You’re so close to telling him, almost—right here. “Austin.”

He shifts, his one leg slipping between yours, pressing a kiss to the back of your head so you know he heard you. He’s patient; quiet.

“Nothing,” You eventually say, shaking your head. “Nevermind.” Your head tips back slightly to look at him, “I’m glad you’re home.”

He smiles at you, brushing his nose against yours before squeezing around your hip.

A few days pass, not…exactly on purpose. But one thing happens after another, getting lost in the normalcy of time passing. You keep promising yourself that you’re gonna find a perfect moment, even though you know nothing like that is going to come. Tonight, tomorrow, next Tuesday, it doesn’t matter—you just have to tell him. You’re not sure why you’re so apprehensive about this…or well, maybe nervous is the better word.

Saying it outloud makes it real and while you assume you know how Austin is going to take the news, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still just a ‘guess’.

You turn into Jillian’s kitchen with a half empty fizzy juice in your hand, your best friend throwing a small get together that feels long overdue. It’s completely lowkey, comfortable, the gathering of close friends to drink (or not), eat a lot of food and play intense, silly games of cards. You’ve been mostly catching up with people, Austin offering you a drink once or twice, but you lie and tell him you’ve got a headache. He brushes his lips over your forehead and doesn’t press…which is good because you’re still formulating those words, teaching your mouth the syllables for I’m pregnant.

Jillian’s trying to talk Austin into a game of flip-cup and you have to bite down on your tongue because you love that game, you’re actually pretty decent at it?

“You can be on a team with Y/N,” Jillian grins, “I mean, that’s practically guaranteeing a win here.”

Austin laughs, mostly air leaving his nose. He looks over at you and gently shakes his head, refilling his own cup with beer.

“I’ll let you play with wine,” Jillian then starts in on you— “I know beer isn’t a good sell.”

Crinkling your nose, “I’ll play with water,” You offer, “Not interested in wine tonight.”

“Oh come on, you never turn down wine. It's like one of your five food groups," Jillian laughs, "What are you—pregnant?"

It comes out so simply that you don’t even think about schooling your expression, but it’s already too late. Austin glances over at you in amusement, a smirk on his lips, until…he gets a good look at your face. Gentle excitement, a tiny bit of uncertainty, fear—joy.

You realize right then you’re taking too long to say anything, your silence is becoming an answer.

You were so unsure of what your husband's reaction would be, it's been a distant plan but…so many of your passions and work are concrete. How does this fit? Can it fit? All those thoughts evaporate when Austin's mouth opens and closes and he takes a step towards you, reaching for one of your hands. His eyes glaze down your form like he's…looking for a difference that he can't see.

"Are you—" It's somehow more of a statement than a question and you let a soft laugh, eyes beginning to brim with tears.

"Yeah," You sniffle, just going for it, nodding, "Yes."

Jillian gasps into a loud exclamation and you—you pictured telling Austin in a completely different way. In a handful of different ways, but you realize that this is just as good as having a plan. His face is…something you'll never forget. Profound awe, love, nothing is better than that.

"What a great reason to turn down wine." Jillian amends with a grin and pours herself more as if to clink glasses with other people in support. She wanders over and squeezes you tightly before going into the other room and you don’t have to hear her to know that she’s telling everyone else.

You let her go, you’re completely focused on the person in front of you.

Austin cups your face, leaning in to kiss you a few times before he draws you into a tight hug. You close your eyes, pressing your face against his shoulder, breathing him in, allowing him to ground you with his arms firmly around your form.

There are slow eruptions in pockets of cheering from the other rooms and Austin pulls away just enough to gently grab onto your hand and tug you somewhere more private. A small balcony Jillian has, the glass door sliding shut able to drown out most of the sound. You wipe one of your cheeks and smile at your husband, Austin cupping both sides of your face again and kissing you.

Slow and intimate, your foreheads resting together afterwards.

“I haven’t known long,” You promise, knowing he’s happy but not wanting him to think you were trying to keep this secret from him. “There were so many different ways I wanted to tell you.”

Austin shakes his head, “I can’t think of any better way of finding out,” He smiles, glancing inside, “Though at the rate Jillian’s goin’, we might not have a chance to tell anyone else.” He says as another bout of cheering rings out.

You laugh lightly, curling your hair around your ear, “I’ll talk to her,” Making sure she won’t spill anything to your families. You love that she’s excited, however.

You’re smiling, fondly, looking over Austin’s face as an eruption of nervous butterflies kiss the inside of your stomach. You hold his gaze for a moment and he squeezes your hands, waiting.

You’re so incredibly happy but…at the same time, “I’m scared.” You admit in a soft whisper, swallowing over a lump of unsaid words in your throat.

Austin smiles a little, running his thumb along your cheekbone before he draws you close, “Me too. But whatever happens? We’ll figure it out together.”

Together, you repeat, pressing a kiss to his lips. A promise.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fic #austin butler imagine #mccall writes things #ccg

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butchhamlet · 1 year

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some reasons you should watch abigail thorn’s “the prince”

i mean, reasons beyond “it’s about trans women in a shakespeare multiverse and abigail thorn plays hotspur.” because--do you need more? but i have more to say, so i’m going to say it.

1. the exploration of the conflation of death and transition. i think trans people are in the habit of pushing back against the idea that transition is any sort of metaphorical death, because so many cis people say shit about feeling like they’ve lost a son/daughter/brother/sister/niece/nephew/gendered acquaintance/etc. but in truth, taking the plunge in deciding to transition, or deciding even to be honest with yourself about your transness, can look and feel a lot like a death, even if it’s a death that’s necessary for a rebirth (something thorn & other trans writers have touched on before). i can’t cite specific parts because spoilers but just trust me that this does a lot with that that made me want to put my head in my hands and scream

2. the interaction with manhood in the history plays. the henriad is incredibly concerned with what it means to be a man the right way--richard ii’s effeminacy assayed against bolingbroke’s stubborn strength; hotspur’s yearning for glory and love of war tied to his destructive masculinity and abhorrence of the feminine; hal’s gendernonconformity through use of language more often than weapons; henry v’s presentation of the english as a virile “band of brothers” identified in contrast to the foppish french dandies. the way this play examines gender--womanhood, manhood, masculinity, femininity, structural misogyny--is fucking delicious in that context, particularly in that the play turns hotspur’s obsession with masculine glory into something of a defense mechanism, as hotspur strives to be the person northumberland and worcester and kate percy expect. (ALSO THE COSTUMING. AND THE SWORD. AND THE DOUBLE-CASTING. AND THE SYMBOLISMS. FABULOUS.)

3. interaction with 1H4 in general. the way thorn cut up this play and rearranged it. i couldn’t go two minutes without turning to my friend and hissing, “this is a line from the real play! except in context it doesn’t go here!” and then gasping over how shifting the context, length, or speaker of speeches brought new aspects of both works to light. ALSO? SO MANY SPEECHES/SCENES IN SHAKESPEAREAN VERSE THAT WERE NOT IN THE ORIGINAL PLAY AT ALL. WHICH MEANS THIS WOMAN WAS JUST WRITING RAW IAMBIC PENTAMETER. LIKE, CONVINCING ELIZABETHAN-ERA IAMBIC PENTAMETER. WHAT. (also also! you don’t have to be a shakespeare nerd to enjoy this play, but if you like iambic pentameter jokes, boy howdy have i got good news for you!)

4. that said, it’s accessible to non-shakespeare-superfans, too! if you don’t know much about the histories, or if you struggle to comprehend shakespeare, don’t fear! the play is doing more than just riffing on shakespeare. it’s at least 50% modern speech, and the switches from one dialect to another tend to come at the most destabilizing and thus hilarious (or gutting) moments. there’s one particular modern-language-paraphrase of a specific 1H4 speech that i haven’t stopped thinking about since i saw it, because it’s the perfect balance of comedic and agonizing.

5. trans people. not just transgender shakespeare characters, but also modern-day trans women! i love that we get both original trans characters and shakespearean characters hit with the transgenderification beam, and i love how many trans people there are; it allows for a more thorough exploration of identity, and also so many good fucking jokes.

6. prince hal is gay for real. not sure i need to say much else about this

7. who doesn’t want to listen to abigail thorn recite shakespeare? not even just 1H4! but i shan’t say more, because oh, baby, that one’s gotta hit organically.

you can read more about it here if you’re not yet convinced, but come on. if you like shakespeare, or if you like art about gender and transness and narratives and confinement and freedom, or, hell, if you like seeing women with swords, i literally don’t know what to tell you i don’t know why you’re still reading this go watch the prince come on now

#max.txt #the prince #abigail thorn #henry iv #henriad #bottom bless thee thou art trans #no she is not sponsoring me. but should she like to--#god this play is so fucking good y;'all. im fucking crazy. im fucking insane. im bonkers in yonkers

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heliads · 2 years

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Okay

I think this is how you request? I’ve never requested anything before >w<

But before I do that I wanted to applaud you for all your hard work!!! You are such an amazing writer, one of favorites atm, and you definitely deserve some praise!!!

For my request, I’m not sure if you are still into Ouat or Peter Pan from the show, but I’m like, obsessed. I’ve had this soulmate idea in which Peter pan’s plan to steal the heart of the truest believer failed, so now he has to take the heart of his soulmate. This is harder for him because he doesn’t know how to love. He hates it out of fear of what it could do to him, yknow yknow? So he goes along with the plan and he captures her. He expects her to fight back but she doesn’t. In fact, she’s quite happy to give up her heart for him if it meant that she wasn’t useless. (She had no family other than her sister, who had recently died. She’s lived her whole life feeling unvaluable). Over the past few days, they get to know each other, and he starts to feel bad that he was her soulmate. Like, why does such a sweet girl have to be his??? How could she just be fine with giving up her heart, HOW COULD SHE BE FINE WITH HIM NOT LOVING HER WHEN SHE CLEARLY DESERVES ALL THE LOVE HE COULD GIVE HER?!?!

She just tells him that a soulmates job is to make their lover happy, and if this made him happy then she would gladly give him her heart. It’s not like he’s doing it just for himself anyway, he is doing it for all the lost children in the world.

After he finishes the setup necessary for the ritual, he takes his soulmate to Skull rock. By the point, Peter isn’t even sure if he wants to steal her heart anymore. Could he have fallen in love this quickly???

But she encourages him to do it, despite being frightened of it herself. Before he takes her heart, Peter asks her if she had any last words. She quietly mumbles that she loves him more to an anything. She then asks him if it will hurt, to which he responds by saying that he’ll numb the pain as much as possible.

Going against his better judgement, Peter kisses her softly as he takes her heart. She immediately passes out. Peter pan has big boy realization and can’t bring himself to kill her, so instead he puts her heart back in and kisses her in the hopes she will come back to him.

Insert fluffy ending here with more kisses!!

I am so so so sorry in advance if this is super specific or doesn’t make any sense. I’ve just had this idea stuck in my head for months and it won’t get out. Of course, you can add or change the idea to make it simpler for you to write!! Take as much time as you need and have an amazing day!!!

oh this idea >>

masterlist

Peter Pan is really out of luck. No, really. He says this about once a decade, when his latest plan for glory goes a little topsy turvy, but it’s real this time. Peter has finally caught his last break, found himself in a trap that he just can’t slip. Peter can name a fair number of people who’d be just delighted to hear that the King of Neverland has finally lost his way, but Peter himself isn’t one of them.

That probably has to do with a little something about how he’s going to die. Peter always knew his life came with strings attached, namely the giant hourglass ticking down his last hours until he finally croaked, but for some reason he always thought that he’d be able to find his way out of it. Peter is a mastermind at exploiting loopholes, but despite all of his centuries of figuring things out in the nick of time, he may have just now met his match.

Peter thought he had it settled when it came to the heart of the truest believer. Kidnap a kid and carve out his vital organ, that’s all it took. It should have been an easy task, too, certainly within Peter’s grasp. It’s a shame the truest believer also came with a team of die-hard do-gooders ready to tear the world apart to save their son, but who could predict something like that?

Henry Mills was Peter’s last chance, though. Or, to be specific, the last chance that Peter even remotely wanted to consider. He has explored all other opportunities, never given up hope on finding another way, but at last, he’s going to have to admit it. Peter is going to have to do the one thing he swore to always avoid.

Peter can feel the eyes of the other Lost Boys on him now, silently waiting for him to make the inevitable call. They’ll support him in whatever choice he makes to save himself, of course; Neverland disappears when Peter dies. He’s sworn that he’ll ship them all off to safer shores should that day arrive, but no one wants that, either. The Lost Boys have always had a chance to leave, they just never took it because this life on Neverland was always preferable to anything else.

He knows what he has to say, though. Peter has known it for a while. The one last gamble he could possibly deal, the last chance he will ever have to not die before a month is out—

His soulmate.

This is the one option Peter was really hoping to avoid. Something about the whole soulmate affair has really bugged him all this time. Forget the odds of ever finding your soulmate when he’s immortal living on an island where no one could track him down if they dared, Peter isn’t the type of person who makes sense in the whole soulmates agenda. Peter doesn’t like weaknesses, and having someone out there who’s supposed to mean the world to you, love above all else, makes his skin crawl.

Technically, he supposes his soulmate isn’t a weakness at a time like this. In fact, his soulmate is going to be the only thing capable of making Peter strong again. See, if he wants to go on living, he can sacrifice someone else’s heart to the magic of Neverland: that of his soulmate.

Anyone else would call it cruel. Peter is not anyone else, which is why he’s considering this. To be honest, he really hadn’t wanted to go anywhere near his soulmate, but he’s not so averse to the whole concept that he’d go into a grave rather than risk it. Peter clings to life like no one you’ve ever seen before, and he’s going to keep on doing it, soulmates be damned.

Peter can’t quite put a finger on why he has such a strong dislike of the soulmates thing. Maybe it’s because understanding the soulmate predicament would make him open to such weaknesses as love brings. Love is for fools who have nothing else to give, kids and blind men who would plunge a knife into their own chests if it meant meeting somebody who was supposedly meant for them. The only thing that Peter has ever needed in this world is his immortal youth, and if a soulmate were ever to get in the way of that, he’d take them out himself.

That’s the plan, at last. Peter doesn’t have to worry about the time it could take to track down his soulmate. He’s had his shadow keep vague tabs on them for no particular reason. He’ll tell himself it’s so he can head the other way if they ever draw near, but it’s not like that’s actually a good excuse. No one comes near Neverland unless they can avoid it or they’re one of his kind. Clearly, Peter’s soulmate would never be the type to fit in here, because soulmates are a sham. Peter refuses to believe anything else.

Still, he has to meet them, has to look them in the eyes as he carves the heart from their chest. It’ll be quick and clean, that’s all Peter needs. After that, he can live forever with another weight lifted from his shoulders. Two weaknesses removed from Peter’s world: death and love. What more could he possibly want?

Peter actually goes to the trouble of locating his soulmate himself. This job needs to be clean, he can’t afford to have any more storybook heroes on his tail. Look how well that turned out with Henry. This is Peter’s last shot, after all; it happens without error or it doesn’t happen at all.

To his surprise, it’s relatively easy to find his soulmate. She’s walking alone at night when he finally comes to her world, trading a dimly lit house for a chilly twilight. The walls are silent, still as a grave, and the girl doesn’t look back once as she leaves. Strange.

Peter waits until she’s out of the line of sight of the house just in case, then starts following her. Once they’ve turned off of the street, Peter quickly closes the distance between them. The girl turns to stare at him, and her eyes widen. She must be feeling it too, then, the rushing feeling in her chest. Peter’s hit by it now too. He didn’t ever wonder what it would be like to meet one’s soulmate, so the reaction of being in such close quarters to the one person designed for him takes him by surprise.

Peter bites back an unwelcome smile and a rush of butterflies to his stomach. “I’m going to need you to come with me,” he says. He’s got a knife in his hand just so she gets the point. Like he said, no slip ups. Not this time.

He’s expecting a fight. That’s how Peter would react if someone approached him at night with a weapon, after all, yet for some reason his soulmate just nods. “Alright,” she replies.

Peter blinks in surprise. “Alright? I’m kidnapping you.”

“Alright,” she repeats, this time with a soft smile, “are you, though? You look really confused about it.”

“Yeah,” Peter says without thinking, “you seem like you’re not taking this seriously. Aren’t you going to try to run or something?”

The girl lifts a shoulder. “Where would I go? Besides,” she adds with a small laugh, “you’re my soulmate. That seems like a fascinating kidnapping to me.”

Peter thinks he’s gone out of his mind. “I’m going to kill you. This is not fascinating. I need your heart so I can live forever.”

His soulmate tilts her head to the side as if considering something, and then nods. “Okay.”

He must be crazy. “Why is that okay?”

The girl spreads her hands. “I have nothing. Nobody left, no family. It would be something to let someone live forever, wouldn’t it? Once you see enough death, you start to wish somebody could do it. If all it took was my heart, I think that’s a fair price. Where are we going, soulmate?”

Peter almost opens his mouth to stop her before he remembers that this is what he wants, someone willing to give up their heart so that he could live. This is actually the best possible scenario, but then why does his chest twinge with something almost like guilt when he nods and gestures towards the sky? And, upon seeing his soulmate’s face light up as she realizes that they’re to fly to Neverland, why does Peter feel like a monster for giving this girl a snapshot of all that she could have had if he hadn’t been afraid of her and taken her to his island for any reason other than sacrificing her heart?

It doesn’t matter what this girl thinks. What matters is Peter staying alive. He can focus on that, not the way the eyes of his soulmate shine with all the stars as they fly through the night air, how Peter feels more powerful than he’s ever felt before because they’re so close to each other. Y/N— he doesn’t remember asking her name, but he must have at some point because it’s now folded carefully within the depths of his memory— makes him feel strange. Better. More alive.

It’s distracting, and Peter can’t take another distraction right now. He all but abandons her to the wilderness of the island when they touch down on Neverland, muttering something about needing to get something before disappearing again.

To her credit, Y/N seems surprisingly good at navigating this strange new world. She finds her way to the Lost Boys’ camp within a few minutes, and by the time Peter plucks up the courage to head there as well, she’s already locked in conversation with a few of the boys. Even Felix is nodding along. Some unwelcome voice in the back of Peter’s head tells him that she fits into Neverland so well for a reason, but he refuses to listen.

After all, Y/N is only here temporarily. She knows it, too, which just makes Peter’s unsettled surprise grow more intense. She doesn’t try to run or flee her fate in any way. Instead, she asks Peter questions about the magic of Neverland, what it would be like when her heart has been traded in and everything is as it should be. After some initial hesitation, Peter talks. He talks more than he thinks he has to anyone else, and comes away from every conversation feeling a surprising lightness in his chest.

A couple of days pass after his soulmate arrives on Neverland, and Peter begins to realize that if he wants to get through this at all, he’s going to have to plan the ritual sooner rather than later. Already, something almost like guilt is pricking at the edges of his consciousness, making Peter wonder if this is really something he could do. To tear the still-beating heart out of Y/N’s chest, even with her explicit permission, seems somehow so wrong that even Peter with all his centuries of depravity feels like he’s missing something.

It will come, though. This will pass. Peter has the Lost Boys depending on him. Peter himself knows nothing about death, that grand adventure that he has yet to experience, and he plans on keeping his demise to the distant future, if it ever does happen at all. He has to kill Y/N, even if it feels like he’s killing himself in turn.

The hour arrives at last, Peter makes sure of it. He takes Y/N’s hand and they fly to Skull Rock, out of the judging eyes of the other Lost Boys. Those that were so keen on him finding any way to live now seem less sure of Peter Pan’s divine right to never fail. Peter isn’t sure of it either.

The only one who’s sure of anything is Y/N. She watches him with those same bright eyes as Peter reminds himself of words to spells. He had wondered if her quiet strength would desert her when the moment of her actual death arrived, but she remains just as brave as ever. That marks her as better than Peter, he supposes.

At last, when he can push it off no longer, Peter turns to her again.

“It’s time,” he murmurs.

Y/N nods once. “It’s okay.”

How like her, to absolve him of this last guilt. He doesn’t deserve this. Maybe this is why Peter has avoided the topic of soulmates all this time— he wasn’t afraid of a weakness but the knowledge that he would never be good enough for anyone. Especially not a soulmate like Y/N.

Peter squares his shoulders, reaches for her. “Is there anything you want to say? You know, before–”

He stops himself before the treacherous words come out. Before he kills her. Before he rips her heart out of her chest, ending the life of the one good person in his life, the one person he had been sent to love and instead ended up murdering just so he could have more years of empty life.

Y/N flinches slightly, and Peter realizes that she actually is terrified despite her calm front. “I don’t know,” she whispers, “Maybe that I love you. More than anything. If this is what it’s like to have a soulmate, to feel like this, I’m glad I got it.”

Peter must have reacted strongly, because she holds up a hand to stop Peter’s response. “I know it’s bad timing, but I wanted to say it once. You have to do this, Peter. Not just for you but all of the Lost Boys, everyone you haven’t saved yet. Promise me, won’t you? Promise me you’ll find all the kids who need you. You’ll have all the time in the world to do it. Bring them home.”

“I promise,” Peter says hollowly.

Y/N jerks her head up and down, a trembling acceptance. “Alright, then.” She eyes him cautiously. “Do you think it’ll hurt?”

Yes, he wants to say. “I’ll try to make any pain as little as possible.” He owes her that much.

Y/N flashes him a quick smile that neither of them believe. “Do it.”

Peter stares at her, and before he can stop himself, he leans forward slightly and kisses her. It is a mistake in anyone’s book, but Peter can’t help it. It goes against his better judgment, his limited common sense, but it also gives him a rush from head to toe that he could not explain if he tried.

Y/N’s eyes are shut, which makes it easier. Peter plucks her heart from her chest as easily as if it were a single emerald leaf from a tree. Instantly, Y/N crumples to the ground. Peter looks at her body in a tangle of limbs on the floor of the cave, and he knows. He can’t do this. It is the only thing that will save his life, and it is too great a price to pay.

Within a second, Peter puts Y/N’s heart back in her chest. She still doesn’t stir, and Peter finds himself swept away on a tide of fear, utterly wracked with the horror that maybe he was too late, that his realization took just too long to come about. He kisses her again in the hopes that it might do something, anything. He’s heard that soulmates are supposed to have a special kind of magic in them; if the stories were true, if there is anything left to Y/N and Peter, let it go all to her. Let her wake up. Please.

Y/N lets out a shuddering gasp and sits up. Peter’s breath leaves him in a rush and he clutches her to him, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as if she’s giving him strength instead of the other way around.

“You’re alright,” he says weakly. It’s as much to reassure him as her.

Y/N shakes her head against his chest. “Didn’t it work? It should have worked, Peter.”

Peter pulls away briefly, unwillingly, so he can look at her again. He doesn’t know how much time he has left now, but he’d gladly spend the rest of them just watching the sun set in her eyes. “I couldn’t do it. I can’t kill you, Y/N.”

Y/N’s eyes widen. “No. No, you had to do this. You’re going to die.”

He lifts a shoulder. “I’ve lived a long time. You deserve your shot at life, just like me.”

Y/N opens her mouth to argue against this, and then she falls silent. Peter furrows his brow, confused at her sudden hesitation, and then he realizes that the entire room seems to be glowing. He turns around to see what Y/N’s looking at, and then he sees it and loses the ability to function.

The hourglass is glowing. As Peter watches, all of the grains that had been steadily collecting at the bottom fly up to the top, and this time, they stay there. Even after Peter waits, they refuse to fall. For some reason, he is no longer capable of dying, at least not through the steady progress of time that had once marked his centuries.

It must be the soulmate thing. It’s the only thing Peter can think of, that something must have come of the bond between him and Y/N. It’s funny, isn’t it, that Peter has spent all of this time running from the mere mention of a soulmate and now she’s the one to save his life?

He faces her once more, and this time, he lets himself smile back at her. “I think we’re alright.”

She laughs. Peter thinks he could listen to the sound on repeat for days at a time. “I think we’re more than alright, actually.”

For once, Peter does not have any cause to fear. He has his life, but more than that, he has his love. Love is not something to shun or hide, it makes him strong. He holds out a hand for Y/N and helps her up. They have a new life to lead, hundreds of thousands of lifetimes until time itself ceases to function. Peter thinks it’s just about enough time to get started.

requested by @hinayugi, i hope you enjoy!

ouat tag list: @lovesanimals0000, @amortensie, @w1shes43, @lost-ender

#peter pan #peter pan imagines #peter pan x reader #peter pan oneshot #ouat #ouat imagines #ouat x reader #ouat oneshot #once upon a time #once upon a time imagines #once upon a time x reader #once upon a time oneshot #ouat peter pan #ouat peter pan imagines #ouat peter pan x reader #ouat peter pan oneshot #once upon a time peter pan #once upon a time peter pan x reader #once upon a time peter pan oneshot

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