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islandpcosjourney · 4 months

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Hope in the peace of God’s timing

30th December 2023

“My hope’s been that for 7yrs 🤷🏻‍♀️ when do you say enough’s enough & move on leaving that hope behind? Coz I can’t imagine not hoping anymore but hoping every year with nothing changing is tiring. This year I can say something different in that the hope we were given last year by being approved for our first cycle of IVF was proven to be not worth all the hope we placed in it because it was a complete failure. So do we simply put that same hope in a 2nd cycle & most likely be writing exactly the same words next year? Sometimes we have to face the truth of being childless. I’m just not sure when I’ll have the courage to face that truth. So maybe the hope should be that those struggling find peace in whatever their life is during the holidays. It’s just a never ending cycle otherwise. Hope you all have a lovely Christmas in whatever shape or form it takes xxx”

This was my comment, my response to a post on fb showing the above picture. In years gone by, I’d have simply liked it, naively smiling & agreeing, buying into the empty human words rather than those of scripture. What do people out there reading these posts put their hope in? Where do they direct it, if it isn’t towards God? A hope in a fair world where we all get what we want “in the end” or because someone tells you “I just know it’ll work out for you”?

Another year passes without being able to share the happy news that we so want to be able to.

Every time I want to write about my disappointment in my blog, I am reminded that there is so much goodness in my life that shouldn’t be overlooked because of one aspect of our lives that doesn’t feel complete. And so I haven’t written a blog post in months, because it doesn’t feel right to unburden my negative thoughts when I have so much to be thankful for.

But….. What if it’ll never happen? What if we go through 2 more rounds in the ring & all we can report on is more disappointment? What if this hope from God that I hold onto each day, each week, each month and as each year passes doesn’t amount to anything? What then?

I fear the moment where all hope is lost, or will it ever be that I don’t have hope? Presumably that ultimate brick wall would be reaching the menapause 🤷🏻‍♀️ The gospel of Luke, the most-read portion of the Bible at this time of year, teaches us in Chapter 1, before the “Christmas” story unfolds, about how Elizabeth, in her elder years, is granted a miracle with the conception of John the Baptist. This is 6 months before the Angel Gabriel visits her cousin Mary as she learns she is to conceive our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ. All hope is conceived in these two miracles & this hope has reigned in history ever since. That hope continues within me but with that, a part of me is lost, not found. That part of me that allows hope to consume me, the Holy Spirit, keeps telling me to believe in miracles but life experience knocks away at me, reminding me how we don’t always get the miracles we hope for.

It is not for us to decide what we should be granted in life. I have already been given so many miracles/gifts in my life to be so thankful for - none of which I asked for but I am still so grateful for. However, in the life-long assumption & desire that I would become a mum, along-with a promise I believe that was delivered to me 6yrs ago, I am flooded with impatience which is so hard to handle as a Christian. It is so difficult to accept that I should be born with such a yearning need to mother a child yet for that opportunity to be so cruelly tested. I’m not the only one, the Bible teaches us that, but there is a distinct possibility that I will not get to experience that happy ending. Mine will likely be a different story.

The challenge is to continue with a relatively normal life while carrying this never-ending burden that just isn’t possible to switch off from. My Christian beliefs teach me to be happy & content with the life that God has given us; not to want, not to desire, not to expect. In theory that sounds great & very peaceful. In practice, God gifted us with the ability to feel, the ability to desire, the ability to have free-will, to make decisions & choices. These abilities make living a peaceful life very difficult when God has given us the ability to think for ourselves, all while trying to live our lives in the glory of His name.

So how do I carry on with the light of hope flickering from day to day? I will be focusing on my health this year because in the last 3 months, I have not felt right at all. Since IVF in October, essentially I have been abdominally uncomfortable - constantly bloated, in pain most days & my hormones are unusually heightened meaning every normal symptom I’d feel during my cycle is at least 4 times worse than it was pre-IVF. This can be attributed to the hormones I had to inject - the minimal amount of hormones. I was on a short protocol, which means it was the most sensitive approach plus I was on the injections for the shortest amount of time I could possibly have been on. So, to then be spending a quarter of this year feeling so unlike myself in my body, with no good outcome to show for it all because it was a complete failure of a cycle, makes me concerned about doing it again, least of all because next time they plan to put me on a more aggressive protocol 🤷🏻‍♀️ and they still warn us it’ll likely have the same outcome.

I have not been able to work as much as I should normally have this term, letting students down big time. I’ve had 2 bouts of flu, one pretty nastily with a chest infection recently needing antibiotics & steroids, and it still hasn’t completely cleared up. Has my body just decided to give up on life? Hormones causing my immune system to shut down? Have I caused a domino effect of chain reactions leading me back to the ill health I had over 3yrs ago? I better not be going backwards, but I need to now focus on regaining the control I had over my health which started halfway through 2020. Feels like a lifetime ago now but I had good momentum, a clear head because no aspect of it was about TTC, we were in the middle of the adoption process, no focus at all on my fertility. That made it easier, I don’t doubt it for a second. So, should I take that out of the equation now?

When I did that before, consciously back at the end of 2017, I regretted it. It was not my place to take the contraceptive pill to “reduce the dangers of conceiving naturally while being overweight” as my consultant had put it. I accepted years ago that she was scaremongering & meddling with God’s plan. I then saw all medical intervention as bad, spiralled out of control as the grief of losing my Dad took over but regained full control of my health 3yrs later. Since “trusting” in the medical world again, I’ve lost that control over my health & I feel I’m back to square one. It’s so difficult to know what to do for the best.

On one hand, mentally I wouldn’t be content with letting sleeping dogs lie, giving up & accepting our childless lives when the NHS are allowing us to continue on with a 2nd round of ICSI (IVF). I don’t believe God put this option in front of us if he didn’t mean for it to be a consideration. He after-all gave the scientists their abilities. I know some would disagree, saying that it’s Satan teasing & tempting us and that we’ve already fallen down that rabbit hole by having done one round but I challenge anyone to disagree that life, no matter how it started, is not a miracle. In the church I know that illegitimate children were once made to feel ashamed, especially their parents, but that was wrong. All children are children of God. He made them in his image. He made them for a purpose. They are all miracles. If we got that chance to create our little Morrison miracle, even if they started in a petri dish, that’s God’s decision, his making, his creation. God didn’t allow our mini-Morrison embryos to develop in October. The scientists couldn’t analyse why they hadn’t developed. Only God knew & there was a reason why they weren’t meant to survive. A reason for us to feel that pain.

On the other hand, we go into round 2 knowing that physically, my health will be much worse off. So now I need to ensure that I am in the best health I’ve ever been to go into round 2. Our counsellor at the ACU in Ninewells advised us that most women only reach about 75% of their normal-selves again by the time they do another round. At this point in time I don’t even feel 50%, probably more like 25% if I’m brutally honest with myself, so I would love to feel more like 75% or should I aim for higher?

None of this “surviving” that I’ve done this year would’ve been possible without my darling Kevin by my side (the one who keeps me insane & I love him for it) or without having my faith in God. While I believe I’ve always accepted Christ as my Saviour, minus a number of questionable years down south where faith was more of a force of habit & tradition than in my heart (attributed to spending 9yrs without a central denomination or congregation to call “home” no matter where I lived - a big reason I know that having a church in your life is imperative to holding Christ’s teachings & love close to you, within a community, something which I did not have), it was this year that I finally took the plunge to publicly profess my faith in Him. Over the years I thought that I knew Jesus but I did not really KNOW him until I was able to accept that I was one of his flock within our community at Carloway Free Church.

Nearly 6yrs ago, I knew that I was a born-again Christian, for in the moment when I learnt of my Dad’s passing, though there was much pain & sorrow, there was hope, strength & gratefulness for his life. Jesus was in my heart, helping me through every challenge. I just didn’t admit it out aloud, for fear of it changing me, changing my life as I knew it & in a phase of my life where so much else was changing anyway, I couldn’t accept more change and so I left my deepest faith hidden & suppressed to the outside world. I am not ashamed. I believe the Lord was preparing me, for a better moment when I could devote all of my thoughts to Him and fully commit when “His timing was right”. I believe that burying my faithful feelings was, in a way, allowing them to ferment (wine) or prove (bread) - the elements of our communion, to “do this in remembrance of Him” - and at the right moment, they were set free to be what they ought to be; shared with others in Christ & to serve in His glory.

See, this concept of timing, His timing, is not a concept at all. It is a promise. He knows what is best for us & he will ensure that all aspects of our lives are exactly as they should be, at every turn. I know that he has meant for Kevin and I to feel weakness, dread, hopelessness, unstable & out of control. He is teaching us that suffering is a really important aspect of life and faith. He is teaching us patience. Just like in a very gripping film or tv series, when there’s a plot twist you don’t expect right at the end (maybe we like it, maybe we don’t) we are to learn that life is meant to be eventful & unpredictable. But in this rollercoaster ride that He has us on, it can be so hard to trust & believe in His timing because nothing runs smoothly on the journey to wherever He is taking us. The challenge is to find the fun in it all & enjoy the ride, for how much control over the route do we really have?

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be using my Gaelic to work for a faith-based organisation. I trained as a musician & teacher 🤷🏻‍♀️ but God’s timing & plan is everything. I wrote of my transformative summer working with the Scottish Bible Society in my last Hogmanay message. At the time, that felt like a ‘wild card’ job where it just so happened that my skills as a musician with recording experience, my limited knowledge of theology but raw faith as a Christian, my passion for my native language & my summer availability due to Covid lag on my usual endeavours all coincided and I ended up on an amazing adventure where I found a voice for my faith. I believe God sent me on that mission to release my deeply imbedded (to now finish proving & fermenting) love for His word & reignite the Gaelic community with a modern text which reminded them of what they’re about to lose if we don’t act now.

What came from that project was quickly developing & SBS needed someone who spoke Gaelic who could take the ambition forward - that’s where I came in. Just one very normal day in May during my Tesco shop I get a call from Fiona, my boss from the project who had become a friend since then alongwith with Adrian, my now line-manager. The desire SBS had of creating a Gaelic post, a concept which had been mentioned several times in passing since that project, was coming to fruition. Could I spare 15hrs a week to take it on? 😯 I had already expressed an interest when I told them both back in February after the audio launch that if circumstances were different & I lived in Edinburgh again, I’d be delighted to have colleagues like them, so I was in complete shock at being offered a post where I could work remotely & flexibly around my teaching hours. I didn’t need to think about it much, a quick text to Kevin to check he was ok with me taking on another job which was more commitment than my nursery cover hours which I could take/leave during slacker/busier weeks - this was permanent. I of course read the job description & slept on it overnight but I accepted the job the next morning & started in June & have loved every minute of it since. The rest is history as they say.

I have the most wonderful colleagues in a team of around 20 who are all Christians & as a result are just so easy to work alongside because they are naturally wonderful, Godly people. My 6-month performance review was a delightful few hours (who can say they “enjoy” those?!) chatting away to Adrian who is unlocking so much of my potential & teaching me to trust that even though I may not have been “trained” for this post either at uni or anything that’s worth stating on a CV but the word of God has trained me up my whole life to be able to serve Him in this way & what better textbook or career enrichment is that than the Bible itself? I was feeling like an imposter but doing this work is not about having studied theology or even the Gaelic language. My grammatical or even modern spelling skills are so outdated but I can delegate to our volunteers & I am not ashamed to ask for help. I have no idea why God has thrust me into this work, I don’t know where it might lead me or the future of Gaelic worship but I do know that it excites me & I’m able to demonstrate that in my passionate way.

So, in short (or long as this post seems to have become 😂), 2023 has not been the best of years in some respects but in others it has been the greatest because I was gifted another year living on this earth with my husband by my side, my Mum who has been in her 70th year & my brother who keeps my mum insane, looking after her in Edinburgh. We may want aspects of our lives to be different but that which is out of our control is not something to dwell on - I need constant reminding of that, not to worry about what can’t be changed. Choose your battles wisely. Don’t fight what can’t be fought. Give thanks to God regularly, even for what is challenging.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart”

- Proverbs 3 (not just verses 5-6 which seem to be most popular - read the whole chapter)

🥳 Happy new year to you all

Bliadhna Mhath Ùr 🎉

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pinklovehealing · 1 year

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Days 2-3

Past couple of days have been a whirlwind of emotions, but immensely satisfying nevertheless.

I'll give some backstory for context.

Towards the end of last year, I had taken up employment with a new job in a field I had never touched, and I was excited to get started. It was an awesome opportunity with solid benefits, and the hiring process was incredibly easy. The team seemed great, the environment was relaxed. I was ready to learn new things. I was given the impression that this organization wanted to pave the way for their new hires and set them up for success. That accountability and healthy communication were essential to their functioning. I was stoked.

I was also... mistaken.

It was very quickly revealed that people were not who they claimed to be. A noticeable lack of dependable structure coupled with unclear direction while being rushed through our orientation left some of us feeling confused, at best, and at worst, totally lost. Sharing my concerns solved nothing.

Frustrated to no end, the dread of showing up every day was gripping, and it sat heavily in my gut. I was beyond disappointed, but I forced myself to look at the positives: I was being paid well and I was taken care of. I could always learn to adapt, even if I didn't like what I was doing.

The gripping was now becoming a stranglehold.

One morning, while I had some down time, I pulled out a notebook and started writing to clear out my thoughts. What spilled onto the page was the truth I had been trying to suppress-- I was miserable, and I wanted out.

I had nothing else lined up, no other source of income, and my savings would only last for so long. But I found myself at an inescapable choice point. Do I continue to stay and pretend to be accepting of the situation while finding ways to cope with it, or do I make a significant change?

Despite varying opinions, I decided that I was going to do something I had never done before. I chose to leave. For the first time in my life, after all the soul-sucking jobs I've worked, I chose to prioritize my sanity over my survival. I quit as the year came to an end. I actually felt guilty, as though I was now begging to be punished by the universe for making a selfish decision.

But no. Instead, I was embarking on a brief, yet intense deconstruction of the self. A process which was equal parts painful and eye-opening.

The space in between the significant chapters of your life gives new meaning to "uncharted territory." I oscillated between anxious regret and utter peace on a daily basis. I learned just how much of my life was lived from a sense of obligation rather than true desire. And that I was terrified of letting go of who I thought I was because I didn't feel like I had the ability to love myself in a jobless state.

I spent the next couple of months slowing way down and getting back in touch with myself. What was I supposed to do with myself? What was it I enjoyed doing? Did I feel like filling out five more job applications today, or did I feel like painting? Did I feel like cleaning, or did I want to visit friends? I gave myself full permission to live from a space of "I want to" rather than "I should" or "I have to."

Sometimes it felt like absolute hell, if I'm being honest. There were days when I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed or drink water. The instability and uncertainty of living life one day at a time was both exhilarating and maddening. I reminded myself that as acutely uncomfortable as this process was, it was my choice. If I wanted to go back to working a job I didn't want out of a real need for income, I could. But did I want to? That was the undying question. And the answer was no.

I also made the effort to tell myself that everyone needs a break sometimes. It was realistic. And that I could stand to be present with myself even when I had bad days. Bad weeks. Headaches, nausea and all.

For a time, I just wanted to be uncomfortable. I could handle it. I wanted to be unconditionally present with it, and never force things to change before their time. That willingness allowed me to rekindle my relationship to myself in a new way. I felt deep gratitude to myself for choosing to walk away from something that felt awful, even if I didn't know what was going to be on the other side of that decision. To put things in perspective, I often imagined what it would feel like if I had chosen to stay at that job; my insides squirmed every time. I had made the right choice, then. I chose the freedom, and the consequences that came with it. And my life was not over now that I had taken a break from working. I didn't need to define myself by what I did for a living. I needed to learn how to define myself by what makes my life worth living. Turns out, this was the knowledge I needed to acquire.

Choosing to live from a space of personal fulfilment made me very aware of a powerful universal truth: That the small choices you make to bring yourself relief can transform into happiness. The happiness you cultivate for yourself results in you becoming a magnet for more happy experiences. More meaningful relationships. And opportunities present themselves constantly.

My responsibility was to act on those opportunities.

I chose to watch movies and do some artwork one day. Oh, look at that, So-and-so hit me up to hang out and offered to pay for dinner. I decide to visit a loved one for some quality time. Sweet, I get sent home with fresh produce. Receiving from a place of contentedness.

I'm not saying all problems are over forever. I'm saying, I got to experience what it was like to create a solid, lasting joy. I witnessed it being birthed from within myself. I felt sturdy. Like no matter what, I could still find ways to live the way I wanted. And I didn't know that was possible.

When I was ready to work again, it was effortless. I made some phone calls and found employment within two days. Done. Easy. Relieving.

I had become a match to the right people at exactly the right time, and all I needed to do was show up.

Why was it so easy? Because my relationship to working had changed. I no longer saw it as the very thing, the only thing that ensured my survival. I saw it for what I needed it to be-- a source of income, and a place where I can lend my skills in exchange for benefits. A conscious transaction.

And because it is a conscious transaction, there is no need for manipulation on my part. I don't have to approach it with this "I'll do whatever it is you need me to do, just please hire me so I can get this bread" mentality. I already proved to myself that I would be okay no matter what.

I was cleaning out my car last night and discovered the notebook where I had vented all my distress just a couple of months ago. Re-reading my words was a trip. My handwriting was so small and precise, a clear reflection of my desire to remain quiet and restrained. It was as if I was unsure whether or not my emotional experience made any sense.

Seeing as there were empty pages right beside the entry, I decided to write a response-- a letter to my past self, speaking as the self who made it through a very challenging phase. The self who was standing on the other side.

I let my past self know that I had good news. That things have worked out in a very favorable way. That I was proud of her for staying the course and remaining disciplined in her devotion to herself. That I commended her bravery. That she managed to move forward successfully, carrying her fears with her, not moving in spite of them. And that I was eager to see what else is in store for her.

The new job is cool so far. It's an extension of a network I've worked with before, so I expect to fit right in. As one might imagine, there is a part of me that is mourning the loss of freedom that comes with having to work a traditional job again. There is a fear that I will be swallowed up by monotony again. That I will have to self-sacrifice, conform and become a shell of my former, more passionate self. It is unfair to tell this aspect that she is overreacting or "that's life, get over it." That is a legitimate concern for anyone. Meeting her with resistance only made her louder, as demonstrated by the unforgiving migraine I experienced almost immediately.

After downing some aspirin, I recognized that I needed to make a promise to this part of myself. That I would not lose sight of the desire to live creatively. Passionately. That this job was to serve me in my constant pursuit of improved well-being. It would not take from me; only aid me in my incremental steps towards my purpose.

As promised, I let myself engage in some creative writing for the evening. There's nothing like immersing yourself in a flow state, only to look at the clock and realize you've been writing for nearly 3 hours.

#self love #self worth #self healing #self respect #personal #mental health #emotional health #emotional support

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sunraybby · 2 years

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Between leaping and falling - part III

By setting up this unattainable example for myself, I simultanuously set up an unrealistic expectation of life itself. It made me shy away from reality, unable to accept the duality of it. It was black or white, good or bad, nothing in between.

My decisions and actions, or rather lack of, were based on this notion, making me not pursuing things out of the fear I would not get the desired result. And I set my life on hold in many ways. I haven't started building a career, I haven't figured out what my body wants and needs, I have neglected my sexuality and sensuality, my identity as a woman, I have not created financial stability, I have not explored the world.

And with this knowing, there comes compassion. I feel for the version of myself that thought she was not good enough how she was. I feel for she who thought she had to maintain keeping up appearances. I feel for girl afraid to transform into a woman.

It starts here. I have walked a long path to find my way home to love, and I have shed blood, tears and sweat to be here. My life is not perfect. It will never be. And now I look back at every mistake and see that they were necessary. Because if it wasn't for all of my life choices, I wouldn't be able to see life for what it truly is.

I am not perfect. And I am not broken because I am not 100% fully in acceptance of who I am today. I am human, and the most beautiful thing about that is the ability to adapt, to transform, to grow. In order for me to reach a new kind of fulfillment in my life, I need to pursue getting to know myself deeper. I'm not there yet. And that's okay.

The "problems' that were casting a shadow onto me, now have dissipated. I am no longer fighting to be loved or desperately wanting somebody in my life. I surrendered my weapons months ago and ended the war for love. And then it came. Naturally, spontanuously, I found someone who I truly see myself building a life with. There is no doubt whatsoever - just peace.

It makes me realize that you just can't force it. Just do you. The rest will come. By creating an intimate relationship with yourself, you step into your authenticity. Only then a portal is opened to things like success, ambition, abundance, adventure, and more elaborate life paths. Only when you embrace yourself, will life embrace you. If you are hard on yourself, life will be hard on you.

I asked to find meaning in my pregnancy. And I found it. It had nothing to do with the question if I wanted a family, or if I was ready to mother a child. It had everything to do with the reminder that the spotlight had not been pointed at myself. It showed me that, in many ways, my relationship with myself is still not what it should be, but it also showed me that it has improved tremendously.

Being shook up like that, gives you the opportunity for a clean slate. It has made me very reflective again, intuitive. It has made me question what I actually want, what I love and like, what I desire.

And writing is one of those things. It truly is my passion. So, this is the first step. One of my biggest childhood dreams is to write books. When times get hard or chaotic, it's the first thing that I drop. I push aside the only way I know how to express myself, how to process. I disregard my medium, my voice. The amount of times that I have promised myself to write consistently is ridiculous. So I'm not going to do that this time.

I'm not going to promise myself to do anything, solely advising myself to follow my heart. Because everytime you make a false promise, you disrespect yourself. Eventually you can't take yourself seriously or hold value to your own words. That's destructive.

But what I am going to do, is commit to myself. Get to know what it means to be me deeply. I know now what loves means to me. But what about the other fields of life? What inspires me? What drives me? What gives me energy? What gives me butterflies? What makes me calm? What makes me feel safe? What does my body tell me? What scares me still? When do I feel alive?

It's important to reflect on this regularly, as the answers are fluid and ever changing in a person's life. And I feel like the first quarter of my life ended, and with it, a chapter closed. I used to say that a lot; "a new chapter," "the end of an era," ... at the end of a relationship or moving houses, but we are talking about 25 years here. It has been a crucial period for my development, and I'm sinking into the shoes of a woman now.

So let's begin.

#growing #healing #diary

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lsmu · 2 years

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Book 3 Part 2 – Chapter 30: Butterfly

“Come on, Oppa! This way!”

I chuckled as I quickened my steps, following my girlfriend. We had just finished our dinner in Itaewon, and Tzuyu wanted to walk around the area–to help her digestion, she said, whatever that meant. Of course I agreed with her, so we left our car near the restaurant, and instead walked along the neon-lit streets hand in hand.

The many bars and pubs in the area caught my attention, naturally. You couldn’t take the alcoholic out of the man, I guessed, but I had to restrain myself. Tzuyu had been going on and on about how I should cut back on alcohol ever since I was discharged from the hospital, and I wanted to honour her wishes. As I reached Tzuyu’s side, her hand slipped into mine, squeezing it lightly. I smiled at her, and she scrunched her nose cutely while smiling beautifully.

“This is nice, right, Oppa?” she whispered. I nodded.

“Mm! Can this be… Considered as our first date?” I mused. She giggled.

“Ya! We had our first date back in Singapore! You took me to Universal Studios, remember?” she said, slapping my arm playfully. I laughed.

“You’re right! Gosh… I’m getting old!” I admitted. Tzuyu chuckled and rested her head on my shoulder.

“I don’t mind…” she uttered lovingly. “I still love you…”

I smiled and kissed the crown of her head warmly. I guessed I should be thankful. She took care of me so well this past month, faithfully coming to my place every single day to cook for me, care for my stitches, remind me to take my medicines, and keep me company. She even helped me to find a new job in that insurance company affiliated to her family’s business.

I looked at her as we continued walking. What did I do to deserve such an angel, anyway? Tzuyu noticed my stare, and she met my eyes while giggling cutely.

“What?” she asked, waking me from my thoughts. I smiled and shook my head.

“Nothing…” I said. “Just… Thankful that I have you.”

Tzuyu tsked and jokingly pouted.

“Cheesy,” she uttered, but she giggled anyway.

We walked slowly along the streets, enjoying our date night in silence. Ever since I recovered from the gunshots, I was determined to enjoy moments like these as best as I could. I knew an opportunity to spend time with a global idol like Twice’s Chou Tzuyu didn’t come by easily, but other than that… Being shot and almost died made me realise that life is… Feeble.

Life is short, it’s fragile… So we have to make the best out of it, to do as much good as possible, to cherish the time that we have here on earth with the people we love. What happened to Ansel last week further strengthened this understanding of mine.

Gosh… Mina was such a strong woman. Everyone broke down in tears when Sana and Momo came to the hospital that day to tell Mina. Even I shed some tears… But not Mina. She simply smiled and nodded, accepting it as fate. She closed her eyes for a long time after hearing the news, offering a silent prayer for her dearly departed boyfriend, but even then… She looked at peace. She accepted it. She had no regrets.

I wondered if I could do the same should the same thing happen to me. I wondered if I would stay sane if Tzuyu was taken from me abruptly. I stole a secret glance at Tzuyu, who was busy looking at the window display of a shop we stopped in front of. She… She almost went through the same thing, didn’t she? I was on the precipice of death back in December.

“Tzu…” I called her. She turned around and smiled at me.

“Hm?”

I stared at her. I wanted to ask her how she did it, how she was able to cope with the horror she experienced… But the answer came to my mind almost immediately.

It was her sisters. Twice… They had one of the strongest bonds I’d ever seen in the industry. Each of them had their own problems, each of them had their own unique personalities, and yet, they stuck together. When one of them had to walk through hell, the others would gladly jump right down to walk together.

They stuck by Jeongyeon’s side and continued supporting and loving her unconditionally through her many health and psychological problems. They gladly embraced Momo after her mistake last year, they helped Tzuyu regain her joy and strength after what happened to me, and right now they’re sticking by Mina’s side, offering her support to help her cope with such a devastating loss.

Theirs was a sisterhood I had never seen in any other idol groups before. Their problems, their mistakes… Instead of bringing them down, it made them relatable, it made them humans. Everyone had problems, everyone made mistakes, so did Twice. The more I got to know them, the more I could see that they weren’t goddesses on pedestals. They were humans, just like everyone else.

I could understand now why millions of people everywhere loved them so much. Their overall global reach might pale in comparison to Blackpink or BTS, but once someone became a ONCE, they did so because they felt a sense of relatability to these girls.

“Nothing…” I smiled as I shook my head. Tzuyu sighed.

“Ya… You keep doing that!” Tzuyu protested.

“Do what?” I asked, confused.

“Looking like you wanted to say something, but then not saying it. It’s annoying!” Tzuyu sulked.

I laughed and flung my arm around her shoulder. I kissed her cheek gently.

“I was just admiring your sisterhood, Tzu. Twice, I mean,” I said. She raised an eyebrow.

“Eh?” she asked.

“Well… You guys… You’ve been through a lot together, and you always came up on top. You continuously support each other… I admire that,” I said sincerely.

Tzuyu smiled as we continued walking.

“You’re thinking about Mina-unnie and Ansel-ssi…” she pointed out.

“Yeah… I… I can’t imagine how hard this week must have been for her…” I whispered. Tzuyu nodded solemnly.

“She’ll get through it… She’s a really strong woman, Mina-unnie,” Tzuyu uttered.

I nodded. She was right. I wished all the best for Mina, and for all of Twice. Tzuyu grabbed my hand again and looked straight at me.

“Oppa! Let’s not talk about sad things again! It’s our date night! We’re supposed to have fun!” she said happily. I chuckled.

“You’re right. What do you wanna do next?” I asked her.

Tzuyu grinned and pointed to something behind me. I turned around, and I saw that we were standing in front of a noraebang. I laughed.

“Oh, come on, Tzu! Noraebang? I can’t sing!” I protested. Tzuyu laughed.

“No one’s judging our voices in a noraebang, Oppa…” Tzuyu said in a matter-of-fact manner.

“Tzu, you’re literally a singer…” I sighed exasperatedly. “I’m a legal consultant in an insurance company.”

My girlfriend laughed out loud, but she pulled me towards the building anyway.

“Come on, Oppa. Let’s just enter!” she said confidently. I gave up.

“Fine…” I sighed, chuckling as I let her tug me inside.

We entered the lobby, and I was pleasantly surprised. This noraebang wasn’t the tacky and colourful ones you’d usually find. It kinda looked luxurious and high class, with wooden decorations, gold linings on the furniture, and brown leather sofas everywhere. Hang on…

“Tzu… This noraebang…” I uttered.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” she asked.

“It is, but…” I said, “Is this… Do you… By any chance… Own this place?”

Tzuyu did her iconic shy smile, her upper lip pursing cutely and her deep dimples appearing on her cheeks, and she blushed a little. Holy shit.

“My family… Might have a small share in the franchise,” she whispered shyly.

Knowing Tzuyu, her definition of ‘small’ might not exactly be small by public standards. Oh gosh. I was dating a real life princess, wasn’t I?

“My God, Tzu…” I sighed. Tzuyu giggled, but then she eyed me concernedly.

“Are you… Okay with it? We can always go to a normal noraebang if you like,” she said cautiously. I grinned and shook my head.

“No, no! I was just asking,” I said. “I don’t mind going into your noraebang!”

Tzuyu giggled again and walked to the reception. The receptionist stood up and bowed respectfully, and Tzuyu produced a card from her wallet. The receptionist took it, studied it, and–like what happened back in that hotel in Singapore–a loud gasp left her mouth as soon as she realised who was standing in front of her.

“A–Ah, M–Miss Chou! W–Welcome! Should I… Should I open the VVIP lounge?” the receptionist stuttered. Tzuyu smiled warmly.

“I would be happy if you do!” she said. The receptionist bowed repeatedly.

“R–Right away, Miss!” she exclaimed.

The receptionist stepped quickly from behind the counter, and she led us to a private elevator by the side of the main entrance. She pressed level three, and bowed deeply as we entered the lift, not straightening her back until the doors closed completely. I chuckled.

“I really need to get used to all this…” I mused. Tzuyu chuckled.

“Oh, come on, Oppa… It’s nothing,” she said calmly.

I chuckled. By now I have realised that there were two sides of Chou Tzuyu. One, Tzuyu the Twice maknae. That Tzuyu enjoyed the simplest things in life, like cooking food for me at home, eating street foods in the smallest alleys in Singapore’s Chinatown, buying convenience store’s snacks and canned coffees, and walking around town together with me.

Then, there was Tzuyu the princess, the daughter of a Taiwanese tycoon, and a minority shareholder of a plethora of businesses and ventures, including the insurance company I had just joined as an employee. That Tzuyu commanded respect from everyone around, that Tzuyu could open the most expensive and private doors with a flick of a finger. That was the Tzuyu I was with tonight as soon as we entered the noraebang.

Still, both sides of Tzuyu didn’t change who she was naturally. Tzuyu, whether being a girl group maknae or a literal princess, was humble yet confident, gentle and caring, kind and full of love. I guessed I was simply lucky to be the man she was in love with.

We reached level three, where the VVIP lounge was located. The receptionist had undoubtedly informed the staff on this level, for as soon as the door slid open, we found half a dozen staff members lining up on either side of the lift, bowing deeply toward us. One of them, a middle aged man dressed in an impeccable suit who I guessed was the manager of this branch, rose up first.

“Annyeong hashimnikka, Miss Chou! It is our honour to host you here tonight!” he said. Tzuyu smiled and nodded.

“Kamsahamnida, Manager-nim! Is our lounge ready?” she asked. The manager nodded.

“Certainly, Miss Chou! Would you like any drinks from the bar?” he asked. Tzuyu turned to look at me. I smiled.

“Am I allowed to order?” I asked gently. Tzuyu laughed.

“Of course, Oppa~” she said cutely, hugging my arm. I smiled and nodded.

“Just beer for us, please. I shouldn’t get too drunk,” I said.

The manager nodded respectfully and excused himself. Tzuyu looked at me in surprise, but I chuckled as I kissed her cheek.

“You’re right, Tzu… I should cut back on alcohol,” I said, before adding, “Thank you for always caring for me.”

Tzuyu sighed and kissed my cheek warmly.

“I love you so much, Oppa…” she whispered.

Smiling happily, I walked with her inside, finding an equally luxurious looking karaoke lounge waiting for us. A private bar stood at the end of the room, where a bartender bowed to welcome us. We sat down on the brown-leather sofa, and Tzuyu started picking our songs.

“What would you like to sing?” she asked. I laughed again.

“Go ahead and pick! I’ll just sit here and enjoy your singing,” I said. Tzuyu pouted.

“Oppa! I told you no one’s gonna judge you here!” she said. I laughed louder.

“Still, Tzu… I don’t want to ruin this beautiful night with my horrible voice!” I said.

Tzuyu tsked, but she chuckled nonetheless. She proceeded to pick a few songs, a selection of Mandopop, K-pop, and some English songs. A server came with our bottles of beer before leaving the two of us in the privacy of this big lounge. I sipped one happily as Tzuyu started singing her first song.

For the next thirty minutes or so, I enjoyed a private show of Tzuyu’s amazing voice. Tzuyu insisted on me joining her after a couple songs, and I decided to relent. I picked up the mic, and started singing happily with her. To be honest, my voice wasn’t that bad, but it pale in comparison to Twice’s lead vocalist, of course. Still, she looked like she enjoyed her time, so I guessed I shouldn’t worry too much.

“Ooof! I’m tired!” I sighed, throwing myself on the sofa as we finished our latest song. Tzuyu giggled.

“Ya! Oppa! Your voice is good! What were you talking about earlier?” she scolded me. I chuckled.

“Alright, alright… It’s just… I’m in the presence of a global superstar… Kinda makes me self-conscious, you know?” I said.

Tzuyu giggled and sat down next to me. She leaned herself close, resting her head on my chest. I looked down and pecked her forehead, but then she lifted her eyes and stared right into mine.

“Oppa… I love your voice. I love everything about you. You’re the first man who’s ever won my heart… So don’t you ever let me, or anyone else, intimidate you,” Tzuyu said sincerely.

I smiled. She was an angel.

“Okay…” I agreed with her. She lifted her pinky.

“Promise me?” she asked cutely.

I felt my heart skipping a beat. How could I ever say no to this girl? I joined my pinky with hers.

“I promise,” I said sincerely.

Tzuyu scrunched her nose and smiled her amazing dimpled smile, before lifting herself up to her feet again.

“Alright! For this next song, I’ll allow you to just sit back and watch!” she exclaimed. I chuckled.

“Finally…” I sighed jokingly.

Tzuyu pouted, but then she laughed. She walked to the console to play the next song, and when the nylon guitar intro of the song started, I immediately knew what song it was. But… Hang on. It was a different version. An acoustic version. I didn’t know they had this version!

This song meant so much to me, because it captured everything I felt about her. It was the song I wrote the lyrics of on that notepad from the hotel room she opened for me in Singapore. It was… Twice’s ‘Alcohol Free’. My eyes widened as I looked at Tzuyu, and she giggled seeing my reaction.

“This one’s for you, Oppa…” she said, lifting the mic to her mouth, and she started singing.

너와 있을 땐 내게

When I am with you

신기한 변화가 있는데

Something magical happens

자꾸 미소 짓게 돼

I keep smiling for no reason

아무 일도 없는데

Though there is nothing going on

자꾸 마법에 걸려

A spell is cast upon me

밤을 새워도 안 졸려

I could stay up all night without feeling sleepy

다른 생각 지워져

All other thoughts go away

심장 소리는 커져

And my heart beats louder

사랑이 참 쉬워져

Suddenly love feels so easy

그래서 빠지고 빠져 점점 너에게

So I fall deeper and deeper for you

That's what you do to me

나는 alcohol-free 근데 취해

I am alcohol free but I get drunk

마신 게 하나도 없는데

Though I did not drink at all

너와 있을 때마다 이래

It happens whenever I’m with you

날 보는 네 눈빛 때문에

Because of the way you look at me

너는 눈으로 마시는 내 champagne, 내 wine

You’re the drinks I drink with my eyes, my champagne, my wine

내 tequila, margarita

My tequila, margarita

Mojito with lime

Sweet mimosa, piña colada

I'm drunk in you, I’m drunk in you

너는 정말 특별해

You are so special

전혀 독하지 않은데

And not hard at all

낮에 별이 뜨게 해

You make the stars come out at broad daylight

한 모금 마셨는데

With just one sip

자꾸 마법에 걸려

A spell is cast upon me

밤을 새워도 안 졸려

I could stay up all night without feeling sleepy

다른 생각 지워져

All other thoughts go away

심장 소리는 커져

And my heart beats louder

사랑이 참 쉬워져

Suddenly love feels so easy

그래서 빠지고 빠져 점점 너에게

So I fall deeper and deeper for you

That's what you do to me

나는 alcohol-free 근데 취해

I am alcohol free but I get drunk

마신 게 하나도 없는데

Though I did not drink at all

너와 있을 때마다 이래

It happens whenever I’m with you

날 보는 네 눈빛 때문에

Because of the way you look at me

I laughed out loud when Tzuyu started doing the rap part that was usually performed by Dahyun and Chaeyoung, but… Inexplicably, I felt tears start leaking from my eyes. Gosh. Who knew such a summery song could be so heartwarmingly sweet? I guessed JYP overdid himself when he wrote this song.

My tears kept streaming out. Shit. Why was I crying so much? Tzuyu noticed this, and she quickly dropped the microphone and rushed to hug me. She caressed my hair concernedly.

“O–Oppa… Are you… Alright?” she asked. I nodded and let out a chuckle. “I–It’s… I’m fine, Tzu… It’s just… The song… It’s… So sweet,” I stuttered through my tears.

Hearing me, Tzuyu giggled. She hugged me tighter, and I hugged her back. I pulled myself away after a while, staring at her beautiful face. Tzuyu smiled gently, and she closed her eyes. I knew what she wanted me to do.

I leaned forward, and I kissed her thin lips softly. We kissed warmly, lovingly, without a hint of lust. My heart swelled as I felt her soft, smooth hands caressing my cheeks. I loved her so much. I would gladly give my life for her. I would gladly take any bullet for her again. I would do anything for her.

“I love you, Tzuyu… I love you so much,” I whispered as we broke away. She smiled.

“I love you too, Oppa…” she whispered in reply.

We kissed again, my thumbs rubbing her cheeks. She stared into my eyes as we finished, smiling so wide, so enchantingly beautiful, making my heart melt in my chest. Tzuyu glanced at the clock on the wall, and I followed her gaze. It was around 9.30pm.

“Shall we go home?” she offered. I chuckled.

“What do you wanna do at home?” I asked teasingly. She blushed.

“Oh, you know…” she uttered shyly.

I chuckled. Being her boyfriend for a while now, I knew that this shy and gentle girl could be totally wild in bed. It was almost difficult to believe that she was a virgin up until earlier this month. I wanted her, I wanted to enjoy her heavenly body, but before that, I wanted to do something. Seeing her right now… Watching her beautiful smile… I was reminded of a song I loved from back in the day.

“One more song,” I said. Tzuyu giggled and nodded.

“What song do you want me to sing next, Oppa?” she asked. I shook my head.

“No…” I said. “I’m going to sing this one.”

Tzuyu gasped, but then she laughed and clapped her hands and sat back expectantly. I stood up, went to the console, and picked the song I wanted to sing. It was an old song, used to be a soundtrack to a movie from almost 20 years back, before being re-released as a soundtrack of a drama back in 2021. Luckily, the noraebang had the song.

“What’s it called?” asked Tzuyu as the intro of the song started playing.

“Butterfly,” I said, smiling. I lifted the microphone onto my mouth and started singing.

어리석은 세상은 너를 몰라

The foolish world doesn’t know you

누에속에 감춰진 너를 못 봐

It can’t see you when you are hidden in regret

나는 알아 내겐 보여

But, I know. I see you

그토록 찬란한 너의 날개

You and your splendid wings

겁내지 마 할 수 있어

Don’t be afraid, you can do it

뜨겁게 꿈틀거리는

With a little wriggle

날개를 펴 날아올라 세상 위로

Spread your wings and fly up

태양처럼 빛을 내는 그대여

You shine like the sun

이 세상이 거칠게 막아서도

Though that world cruelly stands in your way

빛나는 사람아 난 너를 사랑해

Oh, shining one, I love you

널 세상이 볼 수 있게 날아 저 멀리

Fly way over there so the world can see you

꺾여버린 꽃처럼 아플 때도

Even when you’re in pain like a drooping flower

쓰러진 나무처럼 초라해도

Even when you feel dejected, like a fallen tree

너를 믿어 나를 믿어

I believe in you, you believe in me

우리는 서로를 믿고 있어

We believe in each other

심장의 소리를 느껴봐

Grab your heart

힘겹게 접어놓았던

You’ve tried so hard to fold your wings

날개를 펴 날아올라 세상 위로

Now spread the wings, and fly away

벅차도록 아름다운 그대여

You’re so beautiful, it’s almost unbearable

이 세상이 차갑게 등을 보여도

Though the world turns its back on you coldly

눈부신 사람아 난 너를 사랑해

Oh, dazzling one, I love you

널 세상이 볼 수 있게 날아 저 멀리

Fly way over there so the world can see you

태양처럼 빛을 내는 그대여

You shine like the sun

이 세상이 거칠게 막아서도

Though that world cruelly stands in your way

빛나는 사람아 난 너를 사랑해

Oh, shining one, I love you

널 세상이 볼 수 있게 날아 저 멀리

Fly way over there so the world can see you

The song ended, and I bowed awkwardly as I finished singing. To my surprise, Tzuyu was only staring at me, not reacting the way I expected her to react; whether to clap or to cringe at my voice. I sat next to her, and gently grasped her hands inside mine.

“Was it that bad?” I asked sheepishly. Tzuyu smiled and shook her head.

“N–No! Not at all, Oppa… It was beautiful. Really beautiful,” she said sincerely.

“Then… What’s the matter?” I asked her.

Tzuyu stared deep into my eyes. Her eyes started glistening, and I felt her hands squeezing mine tighter.

“Oppa… You’re… You’ll stay by my side, right?” she asked slowly. I raised an eyebrow.

“Eh? Of… Of course! Why did you ask that?” I asked. Tzuyu bit her lips.

“It’s just… The song…” she uttered.

“What is it?” I asked curiously.

Tzuyu bit her lips again. She looked down, before looking away at the screen in front of us. A smile rose on her lips.

“It… Why do I somehow feel like it sounded like a goodbye…” she whispered.

I stared at her. To be honest, I kinda felt the same. Only then did I remember that the song was usually chosen as the last song of a drama before everyone went their separate ways, or at a New Year’s Eve award show. I did sound like a goodbye. Shit… Why did I have to choose that song? I must have ruined the mood for her.

“S–Sorry, Tzu… I just… That song came into my mind, and… I’m sorry,” I uttered.

A chuckle left Tzuyu’s mouth. She turned to look at me and smiled, before pecking my lips gently.

“Don’t worry. It’s just a song,” she said gently. I smiled.

“Yeah… You’re right,” I agreed.

“Shall we go home?” she asked. I smiled and nodded.

“Let’s.”

We left the noraebang arm in arm, and we walked back to our car in front of the restaurant we just had dinner in. We entered the car, and soon we drove away.

Tzuyu invited me to her place near Myeongdong tonight for a change. This would be my first visit to her house, and honestly I was excited. As I drove past the many restaurants in the area, one building caught Tzuyu’s attention.

“Oh! That’s the porridge restaurant!” she said, pointing to a restaurant we had just driven past.

“Mm? Are you hungry?” I asked her. She laughed and shook her head.

“No, no. But the porridge there is really good, and the ahjumma who owns the place is very nice!” Tzuyu said happily.

“Oh that’s nice! We should try eating there sometime,” I said. Tzuyu nodded.

“They’re open until late too, so maybe later tonight we can go there if we’re hungry after…” she trailed off.

I laughed. She was simply so adorable.

“After what?” I decided to play along.

“Oh… You know… What we’re about to do requires a lot of energy, right?” she smirked.

We laughed together, and somehow I felt my boner starting to form. Shit. We were really going to do another wild sex session tonight, I guessed.

“Nabong-unnie went to meet someone in that porridge shop tonight. Maybe she’s still there,” Tzuyu mused. I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? Really?” I asked. She nodded and giggled.

“It’s been a while since she’s interested in a guy…” Tzuyu remarked. I chuckled.

“He’s one lucky guy, I guess…” I said.

Tzuyu nodded and chuckled. Nayeon was always a mystery to me. She was extremely beautiful, not to mention hot, but so far I had never heard of her being with a guy. As far as I knew, the only one she was intimate with over the years was none other than my own girlfriend Chou Tzuyu, so I suspected that maybe she was lesbian… Or bisexual, considering how she… Well… Dominated me that night.

We arrived at Tzuyu’s apartment, which was indeed not far from the porridge shop. I parked my car next to Tzuyu’s white BMW, and we walked hand in hand to the lift lobby. I was about to press the button on the nearest lift, but Tzuyu shook her head.

“Not that lift, Oppa. Come,” she said, tugging my arm gently.

I let her tow me to a glass door further inside the lift lobby. A security guard opened the door and bowed to us, revealing a single lift door. I immediately knew what this meant.

“T–Tzu… You’re staying in…”

“The penthouse. Yep,” she said, giggling.

I sighed. Of course. What did I expect?

“Let me guess… The apartment complex…” I uttered. Tzuyu shushed me promptly.

“Yes, my family owns it. But… Don’t say it out loud. I don’t want anybody to know,” she whispered.

I chuckled and shook my head, not saying anything else. She led me to the private lift, which was by far the most luxurious lift I had ever entered, with black marbles and gold trimmings everywhere. There was no floor button inside this lift, only the open and close button, as well as an emergency button. The lift only had one destination: Tzuyu’s penthouse.

We zoomed up in a flash, and soon the lift door opened, revealing a spacious lobby leading up to a large, wooden double door at the end of the hallway. Oh my God. She really was wealthy, wasn’t she?

“Welcome to my place,” Tzuyu said cutely.

I felt my jaw dropping as I followed her across the lobby. I could see the walkway to an outdoor swimming pool on my right, and on my left was a walkway to what looked like a private gym. Tzuyu swiped her keycard on the card reader and pushed open the door, and my jaw dropped even further.

“W–Woah…”

I couldn’t stop myself from admiring the interior of her penthouse unit. It was almost twice as big as the Twice apartment in Hannam, and while Twice’s apartment felt colourful, warm and cosy, this one… Well… Felt luxurious and elegant.

“What do you think?” Tzuyu asked softly.

I had to steady myself before looking back at my girlfriend. She was standing behind the sofa in the living room, looking at me with a big smile on her face.

“Tzu… This is… It’s like the interior of a palace!” I said. My girlfriend chuckled and shook her head.

“That’s the thing… When I told Baba that I was planning to move out from the dorm a few years ago, he immediately opened this penthouse unit for me and insisted on decorating everything inside like our home back in Taiwan,” she sighed exasperatedly.

Hold on. Her home back in Taiwan looked like this?

“I told him I wanted a nice small apartment near Nabong-unnie in Gangnam, but… He kept insisting, so… Well… I got this place,” she concluded.

“Tzu! You should be grateful!” I scolded her. She chuckled and nodded.

“I know, I know… It’s just… Sometimes I feel lonely staying in a place as big as this. That’s why I like to invite Nayeon-unnie to sleep with me here sometimes, or Chaeng-unnie and Dubu-unnie… That’s why I like to sleep at Nayeon-unnie and Momo-unnie’s place a lot of times, or at the Twice apartment too,” she said with a smile.

I nodded. For all her wealth and status, she was still the maknae. I turned to look at her, finding Tzuyu walking slowly towards me, and I noticed that her eyes were staring at me with lewd intentions. I chuckled and welcomed her in my arms. Her long arms slipped slowly behind my back, making me shudder.

“But… Tonight…” she stared.

“Tonight you won’t be lonely…” I completed her sentence. She nodded and smiled.

“I’d give you a tour around the place… But…” she trailed off again, her face inching closer towards mine. I chuckled.

“... That can wait…” I whispered.

With that, her lips crashed onto mine. She kissed me hungrily, passionately, her tongue slithering inside my mouth like a snake, twisting and turning against my tongue. Her fingers nimbly unbuttoned my shirt, while my hands were just happily sliding down from her lower back, kneading her massive butt cheeks deliciously.

“Oppa…” she gasped as we separated for a brief moment.

“Hm?”

“Be rough with me tonight…” she whispered naughtily.

My dick shot up to a full boner immediately. Excited, my palms squeezed her butt cheeks even tighter, making her jolt up and squeal. I spanked her ass, enjoying the bouncy feeling.

“Like that?” I asked her. Tzuyu giggled and leaned in closer to whisper.

“More…”

The hair on the nape of my neck stood up. Tzuyu smirked and brushed my shirt off my torso, letting it fall on the floor. As I pulled away from her to unbuckle my pants and let it drop to the floor, Tzuyu pulled her sweater up, revealing a tight light blue long sleeved t-shirt, which she took off in a flash too. I gulped as I ravished the sight of the golden skin of her torso, covered only in a black lacy bra.

“Tzuyu…” I sighed. Tzuyu smiled.

“Let me give you some encouragement…” she whispered.

With that, she turned around, and slowly, seductively, she started rolling her hips left and right. My dick immediately wiggled out of my boxer, not wanting to miss the sight of her enormous ass wiggling. I gulped repeatedly as I tried to control my raging heart rate. Fuck. She was so hot!

Tzuyu lifted her hips, gently twerking so her butt cheeks jiggled deliciously. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t hold back. I reached forward, to grab her hips, and I pulled her against my pelvis, pressing my rock hard cock against her soft, bubbly big butt. I spanked her ass loudly, and Tzuyu squealed.

“Awh! Yes!” she squealed.

I grinded my cock on her still clothed bottom hungrily, enjoying the sensation more and more. Tzuyu straightened her back and leaned herself against me, lifting her face, revealing her long neck. I stooped down and started devouring her neck, my left hand reaching up to fondle her tits, while my right was still busy kneading her tender butt.

“Mmmh… M–Mh… Op–Oppa…” she moaned.

Tzuyu held my hand on her tits, and she guided it under her bra. My palm felt her erect nipples, as our hands worked together to caress her body. I reluctantly took my right hand off her butt, bringing it forward to unclasp the button of her jeans. I wanted her. I wanted to feel her fully.

Slowly, I rolled her jeans down through her long slender legs to the floor, and I knelt down together with it. My face was right in front of her absolutely massive butt, her smooth and fat butt cheeks spilling out of her black lacy panties. I couldn’t resist it… So I took a deep breath, and buried my face in between her butt cheeks.

“A–Ah! O–Oppa! N–No! A–Ah! A–AAH!”

The warmth and tenderness of Tzuyu’s massive butt engulfed my face entirely. I sniffed her asshole repeatedly, and I felt that her panties were already soaking wet. This naughty girl. I stuck out my tongue, and without hesitation, I started slobbering her pussy and asshole over her panties.

“N–Nggh! N–Nggh! Op–Oppa! Y–Yes! A–Ahh… A–Ah! Ah… C–Chuyoung… Op–Oppa…”

Tzuyu’s body started bending down because of the pleasure she was feeling. She rested her abs on the sofa in front of her, and I felt her entire body starting to shake. That actually made her butt cheeks slap repeatedly around my face, and I enjoyed it. It encouraged me.

“A–Ah… O–Oppa… Oppa… Oppa! M–Mmh! Mmmh!!! MMH!”

I felt her body tensing. So she was nearing her first climax. I increased the intensity of my licks on her pussy and asshole. I slipped her panties to the side, and I jammed my tongue inside her asshole, sucking and slobbering noisily while my fingers entered her pussy. This made her go crazy.

“A-AH! AAH! O–OPPA! A–AH… AA–AH! I’M… C–CUMM… CUMMING!”

I plunged my tongue deeper inside her asshole, and Tzuyu screamed loudly. Her pussy juice gushed out, flowing down from her pussy down her meaty thighs and into my open mouth. She squirted again and again as her body shook, making her butt cheeks jiggle deliciously over my face, slapping me repeatedly.

Her body slumped forward, bending on the sofa as she gasped and sighed, trying to catch her breath. I stood up, licking my lips off the traces of Tzuyu’s pussy juice. I looked at my girlfriend, still bending over the sofa, still trembling. My dick was twitching. I wanted to just plunge it inside her ass right then and there. I wanted her so badly.

But slowly, Tzuyu churned, and she lifted her body graciously. She turned her body and stared at me with a gaping mouth, still trying to make her breathing return to normal. She giggled and brushed her shoulder length hair back with her hand, and somehow she looked even sexier.

“Oppa… That was… Heavenly…” she uttered. I smiled and walked forward to embrace her.

“Rough enough?” I asked her again. She giggled, but she shook her head again.

“I want… More…” she whispered.

With that, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to walk with her. She guided me up the stairs, and I realised that she wanted to do it properly inside her bedroom. Tzuyu was such a sophisticated woman anyway, so even though she wanted it rough, she would still prefer a proper location for a proper sex.

I smiled. I had no complaints, especially when my face was inches away from her big butt, which jiggled enchantingly with every step she took up the stairs in front of me. Gosh… Why was her butt looking so delicious tonight? I could just eat her ass all night long.

We reached the second floor, and she quickly ushered me into her bedroom at the end of the hallway. As the entire apartment was, this room was luxurious, with a king sized bed standing in the middle of the room, but I had no time to admire it fully, because Tzuyu quickly pushed me onto the bed as soon as we entered the room. I laid on the bed while smiling wide, and she immediately straddled me.

“My Tzuyu…” I whispered, brushing a stray hair off her forehead. She giggled cutely.

“My Chuyoung-oppa…” she replied.

Tzuyu stooped down to kiss me hungrily, but she quickly moved her kisses down from my lips to my jaw, then to my neck, my chest, my belly, all the way to my crotch. She kissed my twitching cock gently, her hands reaching to grab it. With that, she started jerking me off.

“O–Oh fuck… T–Tzuyu…”

Tzuyu giggled hearing my reaction. As she continued jerking me off, she started licking the side of my shaft, drenching my penis with her saliva. I closed my eyes and threw my head back onto the pillow, enjoying the sensation this Taiwanese girl was giving me.

“Y–Yes… T–Tzuyu… M–Mhh…”

She licked and slobbered my cock from the base all the way to the tip repeatedly, and soon, she opened her mouth and started sucking on my dick. My fingers instinctively clenched the bed sheets as I braced myself for Tzuyu’s amazing oral skills. I could feel her head starting to bob up and down my crotch, I could feel her tongue wiggling underneath my shaft, I could feel her long and thin fingers playing with my balls. This was heaven. The real definition of heaven.

“S–Sh… Shit… Shit… T–Tzuyu… Tzuyu… S–So good!”

Her oral cavity started clasping around my shaft, sending me into another level of pleasure. My hands reached up to grab her head, pushing and pulling her small head on my crotch. I felt her throat at the tip of my penis, and I knew I could not last longer.

“T–Tzu… W–W–Wait… I… I–I…”

I knew cumming inside Tzuyu’s throat would feel amazing, but I wasn’t a super human like Yeoni who could bed three girls in one night–or four Blackpink girls for that matter–and just brush it off. Tzuyu was also not Jihyo, who Tzuyu said could breastfeed Minsoo after each time her boyfriend came and make him go full rock hard in an instant. We were normal human beings, and I wanted so badly to cum inside her ass, even more than I wanted it inside her throat.

Luckily, Tzuyu understood. Just as I was almost losing my control, she lifted her head back and sighed, spit drooling all over her mouth and my penis. She giggled and stared at me while licking her lips dry.

“Come, Oppa… I want you to fill my ass with your hot cum…” she whispered sultrily.

I chuckled as Tzuyu straightened herself. She reached behind and unclasped her bra, throwing the fabric to the side of the bed. She rested herself next to me as I knelt up and positioned myself behind her. Tzuyu immediately perked her butt up, wiggling it left and right, as if inviting me.

“Gosh… Tzuyu…” I sighed. Tzuyu giggled and turned her head to look at me.

“Remember, Oppa… Be rough,” she said, winking cutely.

I laughed, but my breath hitched hearing her words. I slapped her butt promptly, and the squeal that followed further encouraged me. I used both of my hands to spank her butt left and right loudly, watching in delight as her massive butt cheeks jiggle and red hand marks start appearing on her golden skin.

“M–Mmh! Yes! Ah! Ah! Yes! Oppa! S–Spank me! Spank your naughty Tzuyu!” she squealed.

I stopped myself after spanking her a few more times, partly because I never wanted to hurt her. Instead, I placed my cock in between her succulent butt cheeks, and started grinding my shaft front and back, getting ourselves ready for the impending anal sex. I reached forward and grabbed her butt, massaging it like a dough.

“U–Ugh… S–So… T–Thick… Tzuyu…”

“Oppa… O–Oppa…”

I pulled my crotch away from her, and for the second time tonight, I stooped down to bury my face in her butt. I could never get enough of this tender and warm sensation. I would allow her to sit on my face any day, all day. Her butt was the most delicious in the world, and it was all mine. I stuck my tongue out again, and I let it slip inside her asshole again. I felt her rectum sucking my tongue like a vacuum as she started jolting.

“N–Ng–A–Ah! Oppa! A–Ahh… Mmmh!” Tzuyu moaned loudly.

I rimmed her asshole a few more seconds, and when I felt that it had enough wetness, I repositioned myself, ready to impale her. I slapped my cock on her butt a few times, before slowly, I guided it into her asshole. It slipped in nicely, partly because of just how wet her asshole had been after I rimmed it twice, and with one swift thrust, I entered her.

“A–Ah! Y–YES! Oppa! F–Fuck… M–My… Ass!”

Tzuyu… For such a gentle and elegant girl like her, Tzuyu surely loved anal sex, and a rough one at that. Not one of our sex session over these few weeks went by without her asking me to pound her ass like an animal, and she would cum multiple times every time we did it, it almost felt like she preferred it more than vaginal sex. I guessed everyone had their preference.

“F–Fuck! Fuck… T–Tzuyu! S–So tight!”

I looked down, not wanting to miss the amazing sight of her thick and ample butt cheeks rippling with every thrust I made into her. Her butt was enormous to begin with, but her rectum was also extremely warm and moist, it made me want it more and more. I spanked her butt one more time, before increasing the speed of my thrust, riding her roughly.

“A–Ah! Ah! AAH! Mmh! Ngh! O–Opp… Oppa! Oppa! N–Ngah! Y–Yes! F–Fuck!”

Tzuyu’s moan started becoming less and less coherent. My hands clutched her hips as my cock pistoned in and out of her asshole. I felt her rectum enveloping around my dick, and I knew I couldn’t hold back any longer, not after that amazing oral sex she gave me earlier.

“F–Fuck… T–Tzu! T–Tzuyu… Tzu… I–I… I think… I think I’m…”

“Y–Yes! Oppa! A–Ah! A–A–Ah… Ah…. M–Mhh! C–Cum… F–Fill… Fill y–your naughty T–Tzuyu’s… A–Ass… A–Ah! AAH! OPPA!”

Tzuyu came before I did, gushing out her pussy juice again and again as I kept riding her through her orgasm. I looked down, watching her teal bed linen getting soaked by the creamy fluids that flowed out of her pussy non stop. I grabbed her chunky ass again, and with one powerful thrust inside…

“T–T–TZUYU!”

I came. I came hard, unloading my entire payload again and again inside her warm rectum. Tzuyu’s body arched back as she reached another orgasm, and I closed my eyes as I let wave after wave of pleasure overtaking my entire body.

Tzuyu slumped forward, and my cock slipped off her asshole before it finished spurting cum, so a few strains of white liquid landed on her back and massive butt as my cum leaked out of her asshole. I staggered forward, slumping onto the bed on top of her as I panted and gasped. Tzuyu sighed and turned to kiss my lips warmly.

“Tzuyu… G–Gosh…” I struggled to speak. She giggled and kissed me again.

“I love you, Oppa… So… So good…” she whispered.

I smiled. We cuddled on the bed lovingly, stealing kisses after kisses from each other. I felt her hand creeping down to my penis again, stroking it gently, as if still wanting more. I chuckled.

“Ya… Slow down… I’m not young anymore,” I said. Tzuyu giggled.

“And yet you could still make me explode twice in a row like that…” she pointed out.

Tzuyu kissed my lips warmly, her tongue poking my lips and entering inside. This girl… Seriously. What did I do right to be blessed with such a goddess? I made a lot of mistakes in the past, and yet… Her love was for me.

“I think I can still go again…” I said. Tzuyu’s eyes widened in excitement.

“You think?” she asked. I chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah… I think. I… There’s still one place I want to enter…” I told her.

Tzuyu blushed red, but she took my hand and placed it on her pussy, rubbing it together with me. I smiled and stooped down to eat her perky tits, twisting my tongue around her brown nipples. She squirmed and shut her eyes, enjoying the pleasure. My boner was starting to form again. She knew just what I needed to go again.

Suddenly, I heard something. My head perked up to the source of that sound. It sounded like… The front door was being opened. Tzuyu heard it too, obviously, for her hand stopped rubbing her pussy with me, but to my surprise, she didn’t look shocked.

“T–Tzu?” I looked at her. She opened her eyes and smiled at me.

“Hm?” she asked calmly.

“Are you… Expecting someone?” I asked.

Strangely, Tzuyu giggled. She then nodded.

“Perhaps…” she said cheekily. “I think you’ll be happy to meet that someone.”

I was beyond confused. I heard footsteps climbing the staircase, approaching the bedroom Tzuyu and I was in. The footsteps reached the door, and I saw the handle turning, and the door flung open…

“Oh shit… I missed the first part, didn’t I?”

Im Nayeon stood at the threshold, grinning wide, showing her bunny teeth. She sighed and dropped her Louis Vuitton bag onto the floor, before taking off her coat, tossing it casually to the chair by the door. I panickedly tried to pull the blanket to cover my naked body, but Tzuyu looked surprisingly calm.

“Hi, Unnie…” she said.

“Hi, Tzu. Hi, Oppa!” Nayeon exclaimed cheerfully.

“N–N–Na–Nayeon?” I stuttered in utter bewilderment, “W–What… What are you d–doing here?”

Nayeon snorted a laugh.

“What do you think I’m doing here, Oppa? Offering snacks? Being your bartender? I’m here to join you, of course!” she smiled.

Her expensive Louis Vuitton sweater was the next to go, leaving her in her white undershirt as she approached us.

“W–What? J-J-Join us?” I stammered.

She giggled and nodded, removing her jeans. I felt my dick shooting up as I saw Nayeon’s tight and toned body. The fact that she was slowly undressing more and more also further… Encouraged me. Fuck. She looked hot.

I turned panickedly to my girlfriend. She met my gaze and grew red, doing her iconic smile again, pursing her upper lip and letting a small giggle escape her mouth. Hang on. She… She knew about this?

“T–Tzu… D–did you…?” I stuttered. Tzuyu giggled again and nodded.

“Yup… I knew she was coming,” Tzuyu said, before adding, “She’s… My girlfriend after all…”

My eyes widened and my heart stopped.

“G–Girlfriend?” I asked. Tzuyu nodded, but Nayeon sighed tiredly.

“Aigoo… Tzu… Have you forgotten to tell him? Poor Chuyoung-oppa…” Nayeon said, pulling off her undershirt, leaving her in just her matching set of white bra and tights.

“Y–Yea…” Tzuyu blushed.

I looked at Nayeon and Tzuyu interchangeably, feeling more and more confused. Huh? Girlfriend? But… Wasn’t she… Wasn’t she my girlfriend? I heard Nayeon giggling.

“Oh, come on, Oppa… It wasn’t like we’re trying to hide it! Don’t you remember how lustfully Tzuyu kissed my lips in front of you back at your place before I went to JYPE with Hyejin?” she said.

“Or… The fact that she was the one who stuck by my side when I waited for you to regain consciousness in the hospital,” Tzuyu added.

“We’re bisexual,” announced Nayeon. “The only bisexual couple in Twice!”

The Bunny rolled down her tights, tossing them into a corner. She took her place behind Tzuyu, wrapping her arms around my girlfriend’s abs as she nuzzled her neck. Tzuyu squirmed, but she was grinning from ear to ear.

“B–Bisexual…” I repeated, almost absentmindedly.

Holy fuck. I realised it now. Why didn’t I realise it earlier? I thought… I thought Nayeon was simply being naughty, but… Those touches they had, those kisses they had… The way Nayeon grabbed Tzuyu’s ass, the way Tzuyu always kisses Nayeon lustfully. And Nayeon was right: They weren’t trying to hide it. They did it in front of me.

Come to think about it, I even knew that Tzuyu and Nayeon had had sex multiple times. Chaeyoung told me that night. She told me that Tzuyu was always Nayeon’s favourite. Hang on… Tzuyu herself told me last week!

But… I always brushed it off as them simply exploring each other's bodies. The fact that Tzuyu told me that she never allowed Nayeon to penetrate her also further encouraged my assumption. I never realised that they were indeed a couple. Seeing how stunned I was, Tzuyu smiled and reached forward to caress my cheeks.

“Oppa… I hope you’re not mad at me. I wasn’t lying when I said that you’re my first love. You’re the first man that I ever loved, and I’m not planning to love any man other than you…” she said softly.

“Aww…” cooed Nayeon, hugging Tzuyu tighter. Tzuyu giggled before continuing.

“But… I had fallen in love before. I fell in love with this Unnie right here before I met you…” Tzuyu said gently.

“How can she not? I’m so lovable…” said Nayeon smugly.

I was too stunned to speak, my mouth gaping wide as the realisation hit me. Tzuyu’s eyes were filled with concern.

“Chuyoung-oppa?” Tzuyu asked worriedly.

I blinked a few times, before staring at the two beautiful girls on the bed. They were both staring at me, waiting for my answer. Nayeon sighed and looked at her girlfriend.

“I told Tzuyu to tell you right from the start to avoid confusion, but you were still recovering, so she wanted to wait until you’re better. She’s the one who asked me to come here tonight after my meeting…” Nayeon started, but Tzuyu snorted.

“You mean ‘date’,” she corrected her, but Nayeon shook her head.

“Nah… I won’t call it a date. It was just a dinner between friends, getting to know each other,” Nayeon said.

“That’s what people do on a date, Unnie,” shot Tzuyu back.

“Ya! I was trying to explain to Chuyoung-oppa here!” Nayeon exclaimed, making Tzuyu laugh.

Nayeon giggled and pecked Tzuyu’s neck before continuing.

“Now, as I was saying… She wanted us to meet here tonight to tell you about this, and also… Because I’m still carrying the guilt from that… Little session that we had back in November,” Nayeon said calmly.

My eyes widened in shock. I stared at Tzuyu. Fuck! Shit! She… She knew?

“W–Wait. Y–You… Y–You knew about…?”

Both Nayeon and Tzuyu giggled.

“She knows every single detail about what happened,” said Nayeon. Tzuyu nodded.

“She confessed to me the day after, knowing that I had a thing for you back then,” she said.

Oh shit…

“T–Tzu… I–I… I can… I can explain–”

Tzuyu shushed me with a soft, dimpled smile and a finger on my lips.

“It’s alright, Oppa. You can’t fight drunk Nabong. But at least you tried, and that’s what makes you special,” Tzuyu said cutely. “That’s what makes me fall for you.”

I blinked my eyes rapidly. H–Huh? Was I dreaming?

“W–Wh–What? Y–You’re not… Mad?” I stuttered.

Tzuyu shook her head, while Nayeon laughed out loud.

“Oppa! No matter what you do, she’ll always be head over heels for you! You’re like a drug to her!” Nayeon cackled.

“Besides… I wasn’t your girlfriend back then, so… I have no right to be angry,” Tzuyu said in a matter-of-fact manner, as she usually did. Nayeon sighed.

“But still… I felt guilty. I still feel guilty, so… Here I am,” Nayeon said.

I stared confusedly at her.

“H–How does that have to do with… W–With you coming here?” I asked. Tzuyu sighed.

“Ah… It’s her way of getting the guilt out of her system,” she said, resting her head on the pillow.

“Precisely,” Nayeon said, before snuggling Tzuyu’s neck again, “What a smart girl…”

“I–I’m… I’m not sure I’m following…” I said, still bewildered.

Nayeon chuckled and stared at me, resting her elbow on the pillow and placing her head on her palm.

“I knew Tzuyu was in love with you right from the start, and as her girlfriend, I should have encouraged her to get to know you better and supported her to get closer to you, not fuck you like I did, even if I was drunk. I should’ve controlled myself better. That’s why I've been feeling guilty since then,” Nayeon explained.

“The fact that I did it together with Chaeng also made me feel guilty to Yori, who’s my friend. Chaeng felt guilty too, so we had a little… Heart-to-heart session to clear our heads. Works like a charm every single time! Chaeng’s mind has been cleared since, but… I still have one other guilt that I needed to take care of: My guilt against you,” Nayeon concluded excitedly.

I stared at her blankly. I still didn’t get it.

“H–Huh?” I asked. Nayeon sighed.

“Oppa… For me to finally be able to live guilt-free, we need to do our little… Heart-to-heart session. You, me, and Tzuyu!” Nayeon said.

“H–Heart… To heart?” I asked. Tzuyu scoffed.

“She meant threesome,” she said flatly.

My heart stopped.

“T–T–T–Three–s–some?” I stammered.

Nayeon and Tzuyu laughed.

“Yeah… This girl right here… She’s a true, horny, bisexual. Before I met you, I could live just by having sex with her, but not Nabong-unnie. She needed to release her Dominabong self every once in a while… And when she’s feeling guilty–whether it is for fucking someone too rough in her Dominabong state, or fucking someone she’s not supposed to fuck–the only way she can stop feeling so is by doing a threesome with the parties involved,” Tzuyu explained.

I stared at Nayeon.

“S–So… So… So you… Had a threesome with… W–With… Chaeyoung and Yori?” I asked. Nayeon nodded confidently.

“And with Jeongie and Sana… Sana and Dubu… Momo and Heechul… Jennie and G-Dragon… Yeri and her ex girlfriend… The list goes on and on and on…” Nayeon said proudly. Tzuyu sighed.

“I’m dating a slut…” she mused. Nayeon gasped and slapped Tzuyu’s head.

“YA!” she said, but then she giggled and kissed her cheek again. “But you love this slut, don’t you?”

Tzuyu giggled and nodded. Fuck. So… This was really happening, then? Nayeon chuckled.

“Alright! Enough explanation! Are we going to keep talking, or are we going to fuck?” she proposed.

Nayeon and Tzuyu stared at me, as if waiting for me to react. I gulped. I felt my face burning red, and I felt a sense of dread building inside me. What… What the fuck… I… I was going to do it with Nayeon… Again? Tzuyu laughed seeing my expression.

“Come on, Oppa. What do you say?” Tzuyu asked. Shit. I… I couldn’t say no, could I?

“W–Well… I–I… G–Guess…” I stuttered, but Nayeon was impatient.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” she groaned.

She sat up, and started pulling her bra off her chest, making her tits jiggle out deliciously as they were freed from the fabrics. My dick twitched as I watched her. She was significantly larger than Tzuyu, and her soft pink nipples looked… Really delicious.

Nayeon crawled over Tzuyu, reaching me. I automatically recoiled, my body still traumatised by that… Scary encounter I had with her back in November. Nayeon giggled, her face leaning closer towards me. She smiled her bunny smile.

“Don’t worry, Oppa… I’m not drunk, so… I’m not Dominabong,” she said. Tzuyu giggled.

“She’s a complete sub when she’s not drunk,” she uttered.

With that, Nayeon kissed my lips. Her thick lips smothered mine, and I felt her tongue poking inside my mouth, rubbing against my tongue. I felt my defences crumbling. This Nayeon was much sweeter, and although I knew she was very horny… At least she didn’t have her riding crop with her, and I wasn’t handcuffed to a bed.

“N–Nayeon…” I sighed as we separated. She giggled and grabbed my head.

“I saw how you stared at my boobs… You wanna eat them?” she asked.

I instinctively looked at Tzuyu for permission. She smiled and nodded, encouraging me. Fuck… Here goes nothing.

“S–Sure…” I said.

Nayeon grinned and immediately pulled my face, burying it onto her delicious mounds. My hands reached up, fondling her succulent breasts, as my tongue started slobbering her perky nipples.

“F–Fuck… Y–Yes… Mmh!” Nayeon moaned.

I pushed my body forward, and soon Nayeon laid her back on the bed as I climbed on top of her, my face still buried on her heavenly tits. My index finger toyed with her nipples, making her squirm and sighed in pleasure.

“Mmhh… M–Mh! Oppa… A–Ah… Oppa…”

I felt Nayeon’s hands leaving my head, travelling downwards to remove her panties. I decided to help her, and soon she was laying naked on the bed, smiling at me, looking so beautiful and delicious. Her skin was pearly white, looking so smooth and inviting.

“F–Fuck… Nayeon…” I stuttered. Nayeon giggled.

“We’re sharing the same girlfriend, Oppa. It’s only fair that you get to enjoy my body too…” she said.

I chuckled, and finally… I nodded. Nayeon pulled me for another kiss, and this time, I kissed back willingly. As I was enjoying my kiss with Nayeon, I felt Tzuyu’s body weight leaving the bed. I pulled back and turned to look at her.

“Tzu? Where are you going?” I asked. Tzuyu only giggled as she walked into her closet. Nayeon chuckled.

“Oh, trust me, Oppa… You’re gonna love our girlfriend even more,” she said.

I wanted to ask her more, but at that moment she pushed me to her side, before turning herself to sit in front of me. She smirked and lowered her face onto my crotch, and my eyes widened as I realised what she wanted to do.

“N–Nabong… W–Wait!” I stuttered.

Nayeon didn’t listen. She grabbed my cock with her hand and started jerking it off, before sticking her very long and very thick tongue out of her mouth. While staring at me with her beautiful, lustful eyes, Nayeon started licking my shaft very, very slowly, sending shivers up and down my spine.

“F–F–Fuck… N–Nabong!”

My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I felt my dick entering Nayeon’s mouth. Her tongue was so long, the tip was touching my balls as I felt inch by inch my cock slid into her warm and slippery throat. My hands instinctively reached to grab her head, and soon, she started bobbing up and down, sucking my dick deliciously.

“Mmh… M–Nh… Sllrpp… Mnggh… Mhh…”

Unlike Tzuyu, who performed her oral sex quitely yet sexily, Nayeon was really noisy. She kept making gurgling and slobbering sounds as she blew me faster and faster, and it made me lose my mind. Soon, she pulled back and spat on my cock, before going back to slobbering my shaft and balls with her tongue.

“N–Ngh… S–Shit… N–Nabong! F–Fuck…” I moaned.

“You… Mmhh… Sllrp… Does it… Mmngh… Feel good… Sllrrp… Oppa?” she asked.

“F–Fuck… Y–Yes! S–So… G–Good!” I replied.

Nayeon giggled, and at that moment the corner of my eye caught Tzuyu walking out of the closet. What I saw shocked me to my core.

“T–Tzuyu?!”

Tzuyu was wearing a dildo strap-on, the same huge, purple dildo strap-on that Nayeon was wearing in her apartment back in November. I knew it was a double dildo, for Tzuyu’s face was blushing red and she was sweating as she felt the huge rubbery thing inside her pussy. Holy shit.

I heard Nayeon giggling. She took a break from slobbering my cock and lifted her eyes to meet mine.

“Has she told you that she never let me penetrate her before this?” she asked. I nodded.

“Y–Yeah?” I asked, suddenly feeling a little afraid. Nayeon smirked.

“It’s because she’s the one who’s been penetrating me everytime we had sex together…” she said.

“I told you she’s a complete sub…” Tzuyu uttered.

I heard a gasp leaving my mouth. I looked at Tzuyu, and I noticed that her eyes were different. Holy fuck. Tzuyu… My sweet, gentle Tzuyu… She was… A dom? And not just any dom… She… She’s been dominating… The scary Dominabong… For years?

Tzuyu climbed the bed and laid herself next to me. Without words, she started kissing my neck as Nayeon continued blowing me noisily. I jolted as Tzuyu’s rubber dick slapped my thigh. Why… Why did I always find myself in this situation?

“T–Tzu… N–Nabong… W–Wait… Mmh…”

The pleasure was intense. Tzuyu’s hand was rubbing my chest, while Nayeon buried my penis inside her throat. Just when I was about to enter my climax, however, Nayeon pulled her head back, and she looked at Tzuyu lustfully. Tzuyu met her eyes.

“Are you ready?” my girlfriend asked. Nayeon giggled and nodded.

Tzuyu took her position behind Nayeon. Her giant rubber dick swung left and right, and I started feeling self conscious looking at the size. Nayeon giggled and gave my cock one final kiss, before moving up… And straddled me.

“Fuck… Here goes…” Nayeon whispered.

She lifted her body up, positioned her pussy on top of my cock, and slowly, she lowered herself. My jaw dropped to the floor as I felt my cock entering Nayeon’s extremely tight pussy.

“F–F–F… F-f-f-f-f-Fuck… Nayeon!” I stuttered.

Nayeon’s face started turning red as she felt my cock sliding inside her. Soon, I was balls deep. Tzuyu looked at me and smiled.

“Oppa… Can you help me spread her butt cheeks open?” she said sweetly.

Still dumbfounded, I obeyed her. I reached for Nayeon’s butt cheeks, spreading it open as Nayeon bent forward. Tzuyu smiled sweetly and leaned forward to kiss me, before guiding her cock and placing it on Nayeon’s asshole.

“I’m coming in, Unnie…” whispered Tzuyu.

By the squelching sound I heard and the fact that Nayeon’s eyes and mouth were gaping wider and wider, I knew Tzuyu had entered her slowly. I felt Nayeon’s butt spreading wider and wider.

“O–Oh! O-o-o-oh… F-f-f-F–FUCK!” Nayeon screamed.

Tzuyu went all the way in. Nayeon was struggling to breath, her mouth gaping so wide and her tongue loosened. Still, she stared at me… And she nodded.

“F-Fuck… M–Me…”

With that, both Tzuyu and I started moving. We double penetrated the naughty bunny together, making her body turn red all over very, very quickly. Nayeon’s tongue was sticking out, her eyes rolling over. She looked like a mess.

“F–Fuck! A–Ah! Ah… AH! T-Tzu… C–Chuyoung… A-Ah! Mmh! AAH! Y–Yes! Yes!” Nayeon continued screaming.

“N–Nayeon! S–So… T–Tight!”

“Y–Yes! U–Unnie! Yes! Mmh!”

I reached forward to fondle Nayeon’s tits, pinching and twisting her nipples with my fingers. Nayeon’s body shook uncontrollably, and from the way she screamed and tensed, I knew she had just cum. I kept pounding her through her orgasm, and Tzuyu’s rubber dick was too rigid to be pushed out by Nayeon’s squirts, so it was kept inside her, thrusting in and out of her asshole like a tentacle.

“A–Ahn… H–H–Hng… Ang… A–Ahn… Ah! Ang… Nnghh! NNGH!” Nayeon started moaning incomprehensibly.

I slapped Nayeon’s bouncy ass loudly, while Tzuyu took her turn playing with Nayeon’s breasts. Nayeon tilted her head back, her body shaking hard as Tzuyu and I kept pummelling her ass and pussy hungrily.

“A–AH! AH! Ah! F–FUCK! F–FUCK! TZ–TZU! C–CH–CHU–OP–AH! I’m… C–Cum… CUMMING AGAINNN!!!!”

Another loud, high-pitched scream, and Nayeon reached another orgasm. I sat up, pressing my body forward, pinning Nayeon in between Tzuyu and I. Nayeon flung her arms around my neck, clinging for dear life, as she kept moaning and moaning, burying her face on my shoulder.

“O–Oh… A–Ah! Mngh! F–Fuck… Oh fuck… Mmh! Mmh! S–So… F–Full!” Nayeon moaned.

I looked up, finding my girlfriend’s eyes were half-closed as she met my gaze, her face blushing so red, sweat dripping from her forehead. I smiled and leaned forward to kiss her, our tongues intertwining.

“O–Oppa… Oppa… A–Ah.. Oppa…” Tzuyu moaned softly.

The sound of our bodies clapping against each other permeated in the air. Nayeon’s moans were totally incomprehensible right now, and she looked like she was about to lose consciousness. I felt like I was about to cum. I looked at my girlfriend. I knew she was cumming too.

“T–Tzu… M–Mh… I–I want… I want to… C–Cum… In you…” I told her.

She nodded. I pulled my cock out of Nayeon’s pussy, and Tzuyu pulled her dildo out of Nayeon’s ass. The bunny girl stumbled to her side, her body convulsing violently as she blasted her pussy juice again and again, before peeing all over the bed.

Tzuyu took off her strap-on, slowly pulling out the other half of the rubber dick out of her gaping pussy and tossing it to the side of the bed as soon as it got out. She laid next to me and splayed her legs open, rubbing her labia as she looked at me.

“Come on… Oppa… F–Fill me…” she whispered.

I needn’t be invited twice. I plunged my throbbing dick inside her, making her jolt out in pleasure. I rammed her as quickly as possible, feeling my climax building ever so quickly. I felt the head of my cock knocking on the entrance of her womb. Tzuyu clasped her long legs around my back, locking me in a hold as she stared into my eyes.

“Oppa… O–Op… M–Mmh! Opp… Oppa… C–Cum… Cumming!”

“M–Me too… T–Tzu… T–Tz… Tzuyu… Tzuyu… I’m… I’m… C–Cumming!”

A final thrust, and we came together. I came buckets inside her womb, and Tzuyu’s pussy juice flooded over my penis like a broken dam. I closed my eyes and buried my face on the pillow next to her as we embraced tightly, letting the waves of orgasm wash through our entire body.

I slumped on top of her as I finished, unable to open my eyes. My head was spinning. I felt Nayeon’s hands reaching for us, and Tzuyu welcomed her. The three of us laid there on the bed, panting and gasping, catching our breaths, too tired to move.

“Fuck… That was… Wild…” muttered Nayeon.

“N–No shit…” I sighed. Tzuyu giggled.

“That was… The best…” she said.

“Got your mind… Cleared… Now?” I asked Nayeon. She smiled and nodded.

“Thanks, Oppa,” she said.

A tired giggle escaped Tzuyu’s mouth, and I heard myself chuckling too. Tzuyu turned to kiss Nayeon’s thick lips gently, before turning to her other side to do the same to me. I smiled and rested my head next to hers, closing my eyes.

“I’m hungry…” said Tzuyu suddenly, sounding adorable.

Nayeon and I laughed. To be honest, I wouldn’t refuse another meal after that… Physically exhausting exercise the three of us just did.

“Fuck you, Tzu… I have no energy to cook anything,” Nayeon sighed tiredly.

“Let’s just… Order something…” I suggested.

“But… What time is it? Is anything still open?” Tzuyu asked.

I opened my eyes. It was past 11.30 pm. We had sex for almost an hour and a half. I chuckled as I remembered something.

“Didn’t you tell me that the porridge shop nearby is open until late?” I asked Tzuyu. Nayeon gasped.

“Oh, that’s right! It’s open until past midnight! Shall I call Sangwoo?” she offered, but Tzuyu giggled.

“And you said you’re only friends…” she teased. Nayeon blushed. So Sangwoo was the guy’s name.

“Alright, fine! Oppa, you call the place, then!” she said, sulking. I laughed and sat up.

“You know what… Lemme just walk over there. I need to smoke anyway,” I said.

Tzuyu and Nayeon exchanged glances, and then they both nodded. Tzuyu hugged my waist sweetly, kissing my chest gently.

“Thank you, Oppa…” she whispered. I chuckled and kissed the crown of her head.

“What do you guys want to order?” I asked.

“Fish porridge for me,” Nayeon said.

“I’ll have the chicken one,” said Tzuyu.

“Alright. I’ll go get it for us,” I said.

Tzuyu gave me her keycard, and I stood up, leaving the two beautiful girls cuddling on the bed. I walked downstairs and got dressed, before going out into the lobby. I lifted my eyes up, seeing the stars shining bright through the skylight on the ceiling. It was a lovely night.

I took the lift downstairs to the lobby, and I buttoned up my coat as I walked out into the chilly night. I placed my earphones in my ears, and played the Spotify playlist I compiled yesterday. I took a cigarette out of my pack and lit one up, puffing up the smoke as I walked towards the nearby porridge restaurant.

It was really close, so in less than five minutes I was already walking past a decoration shop and climbing the stairs to the porridge restaurant above the seolleongtang place. It was mostly empty, safe for the young man sitting behind the counter. He lifted his eyes as he heard the door being opened.

“Annyeonghaseyo! Table for… One?” he asked.

This must be Sangwoo. He was handsome, and I noticed that his eyes gave off a strong sense of kindness. I could see why Nayeon was interested in him. He clutched a menu book and a notepad before walking to approach me.

“Umm… No. I’m buying food to go,” I said as I took a seat at the nearby table.

“Ah! Very well. What would you like to order, Son-nim?” Sangwoo asked.

I opened the menu book. I knew what Tzuyu and Nayeon wanted to order, but I hadn’t decided on my order. To be honest, everything looked nice here, so I spent a few seconds looking at the plethora of porridge options from the menu before deciding.

“Right… I’ll have one chicken porridge, one fish porridge… And… One… Kimchi porridge,” I said. Sangwoo jotted the items down on his notepad.

“Would you like anything to drink while you wait?” he asked.

“A warm cup of tea would be nice,” I said. Sangwoo nodded.

“Certainly. Please hang on, Son-nim!” he said cheerfully.

He rushed to the kitchen, and soon returned with my cup of tea. I sipped it slowly as Sangwoo rushed back to the kitchen, preparing our food. I placed my cup back on the table and I let my mind wander off as I waited for our order. Inevitably, my mind went straight to the very thing I had avoided to think about tonight as I went on my date with Tzuyu.

It had been… Six days since Ansel’s passing, and in a few minutes it would be a new day. It would be exactly one week after the incident. Manse gave the IPG one week to decide and to prepare, before promising retaliation against them for turning Ansel into their side.

Retaliation. What would he do? He could use his pull at Naver to ask Dispatch to release another condemning article about one of the idols. But… Sana told us last week that he said he would give Suzy the war she wanted. That sounded terrifying. What was Manse’s definition of a war?

And Suzy… She was off at Busan, shooting her new drama. How could she just go off like that, after everything she had done? Her secrets were revealed now, all of us knew the real reason why Manse became who he was. She was the one who started it all… She and IU, and now… All of us had to face the consequences. All of the IPG. I sighed. I was thankful that Tzuyu hadn’t joined the IPG. But… What about me?

I sighed. Manse was a vengeful person. He held grudges against those who wronged him, and I wronged him big time. I defied him. I stood up against him. And working with him back in YG… I knew the way he enacts his revenge would bear severe consequences not only against the people that crossed him. He’d target the ones they love too.

That was evident from the way he released the article to harm not just Yeoni and Irene, but Jennie and Jisoo too, aiming to destroy their relationship by creating a scandal. That was evident from the way he repeatedly tried to kill Tzuyu back in SM HQ’s parking lot.

So far… His plans were all foiled. These past two years, ever since he tried and failed to smear Jisoo’s name by releasing the news about his VLive Exclusive with Yeoni, the IPG had managed to stop him just in time. But… That was when the IPG was there to protect everyone, when they were solid. Now… The IPG was in disarray.

I hoped Sana made the right decision. Tzuyu told me that she had a meeting earlier tonight with Yeoni, Jennie, Irene, Taeyeon, Minsoo, Seungyeon and Dara at a bar somewhere. I hoped they would come up with something, something that would keep everyone safe… Something that would keep my Tzuyu safe.

“Ah… Here we are, Son-nim! One chicken porridge, one fish porridge, and one kimchi porridge to go!”

I looked up, finding Sangwoo returning to my table with a big bag filled with our orders. I smiled and went to the cashier to pay. Should I introduce myself? Maybe I should. My girlfriend and the girl he was getting closer with were a couple. It was only natural that Sangwoo and I got to know each other.

“Sangwoo-ssi,” I said.

“Yes? E–Eh… Hold on… How did you know my name?” he asked, sounding confused. I chuckled.

“I’m friends with Nayeon. She’s currently staying at Tzuyu’s place nearby. I’m buying this for them,” I said, lifting the bag. Sangwoo’s eyes widened.

“O–Oh! Oh wow… Wow. Yeah. Wow. Small world…” he said awkwardly, his cheeks blushing a little. “I–I’m… I’m sorry, but… Are you… Nayeon’s…?”

I knew what he wanted to ask. He wanted to know my relationship with the two girls… With Nayeon, to be precise. I guessed he did like Nayeon too. I smiled.

“I’m just her friend, Sangwoo-ssi. I’m… Tzuyu’s boyfriend,” I said. “My name’s Nam Chuyoung.”

Sangwoo’s mouth gaped open, and he quickly stood up to bow to me. I chuckled. I liked this boy.

“A–Ah… Nice meeting you, Chuyoung-ssi!” Sangwoo exclaimed.

“Nice meeting you too, Sangwoo-ssi!” I said, smiling happily. “Hey, good luck with Nabong!”

Sangwoo blushed as red as a tomato in an instant. He jittered awkwardly in his place, trying and failing to find a suitable reply to my comment. I smiled and waved at him, turning the door handle open. I took a step outside, but then I stopped and looked at him.

“Sangwoo-ssi…” I called him again.

“Y–Yes, Chuyoung-ssi?” he stuttered.

I stared at him. He seemed like a decent man. A kind man. A good man. Inexplicably… I felt compelled to say this.

“Take care of Nabong… And… Tzuyu too,” I said.

“E–Eh?”

I didn’t wait for his reply. I walked out of the restaurant and climbed the stairs down, walking up back towards Tzuyu’s apartment. That was… Strange. Why did I say that to him?

Shrugging, I took out my phone and opened my Spotify. My earphone was still in my ears, so I pressed play on my personal playlist. The song ‘Butterfly’ played. Hmm… Come to think about it… Tonight had been a little strange. The song that I chose in the noraebang… And those words to Sangwoo. What was happening?

I reached the apartment and went to the private lift lobby. I swiped Tzuyu’s card on the reader inside the lift, and I hummed the tune of ‘Butterfly’ as I waited. The lift reached the penthouse floor, the door slid open, and I walked out…

Finding the front door gaping open.

“Hm? Did I forget to close it when I left?” I muttered to myself.

I walked across the lobby a little quicker, but as I stepped between the walkways to the private pool and the gym, my shoes stepped on something. I looked down…

Glass shards.

“What…”

I looked up, and found that one panel of the skylight windows was broken. I was immediately alarmed.

Something was wrong.

“Tzu? Nabong?”

#lsmu #book3 #tzuyu #nayeon #monster #Spotify

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

Text

Saturnine. Yan Chrollo x Reader [SMUT]

Tags/warnings: Dubcon, oral sex, creampie, my brain melting, condescending ???, Chrollo always has smth to say Word count: 2.2k. Note: it is finally done .

When gazing into the mirror, it should be easy to recognize the reflection staring back as your own. It’s the sight you’ve seen your entire life. Maybe the light in your eyes is less noticeable and your smiles no longer appear genuine, but in the end, it still physically bears your image.

You shiver at the chilly air kissing your bare skin, goosebumps erupting at the lack of clothing. Thin fabric clings tightly around your body, sheer and intricate in its lace design, yet astonishingly soft to the touch. It accentuates the swell of your chest, the black as midnight fabric stopping just shy above your midriff. A matching thong connects to sheer thigh highs through a garter belt to complete the set. Never in your life can you recall wearing such a lascivious outfit. Nor did you think you’d ever wear one for him.

Covering your exposed cleavage with your arms, you lower your head, fingernails pressing so harshly against your skin that it hurts. The pain serves to ground you in reality, proof that this is happening and not a dream.

“Did I… do this right?” You murmur, not used to how Chrollo is wordlessly assessing your trembling figure. Normally the air is full of conversation, equal parts rigid and provocative, a verbal game you’ve been forced to navigate. You still prefer the mind games over this maddening silence. You’re convinced he can hear the way your heart pounds viciously as if it was attempting to free itself from your body altogether, the current stress it’s under too much to withstand.

Chrollo moves a step closer and you take a deep, shaky breath. Grey eyes rake over your body, like a predator monitoring its prey, inspecting every inch of you. He spreads his fingers against your stomach, coarse fingers gliding over your skin, gradually moving upwards.

“Mm. You did perfectly.” His voice is rich and husky against your ear, spoken lowly so that only you may hear it. When his fingers reach their intended target, he cups your chest and lays his head on your shoulder. You watch his actions in the reflection of the mirror, glossy lips parting but no words managing to form on your tongue. Emotions swirl within you like an unrelenting vortex. Repulsion. Frustration. Shame. That it came to this, lowering yourself to a level you never wanted to be reduced to.

While you ruminate in your misery, Chrollo presses featherlight kisses from the crook of your neck to your jaw. His lips are soft and well taken care of, curling into a smile at how your pulse quickens. There are numerous mysterious surrounding Chrollo, but you do not doubt that he’s enjoying himself now. Your attention is brought back to his hands on your chest and how he kneads them. A blush ignites when you feel something hard press brush your ass, already guessing what it is.

“S-so you’re going to,” you struggle to get out, releasing a gasp when he suddenly pinches your nipple, “Keep… keep your promise, right?”

The clarification is for your peace of mind. An internal justification is necessary to continue with this illicit act, doubts plaguing your mind. You feel his chest rumble against your back, a deep chuckle leaving him. Regret comes swiftly, knowing that anytime you speak to Chrollo his responses sting deep, piercing your skin and festering.

One of his hands comes to your jaw, tilting your head back to look at him. The proximity has your eyes wide as a doe, his warm breath fanning against your face, dark tresses of hair tickling your face. His grip is tight but not painful. A not so subtle reminder of the Phantom Troupe leader’s innate strength, that goes beyond any measurement your mind could conjure up. Your squeeze your eyes shut when he leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss to the edge of your lips.

“What if I don’t?” Chrollo’s question has you frowning, eyelids fluttering open so you can shoot him a glare. He stares back unfazed, amusement visible from his closed mouth smile and relaxed posture, clearly not feeling intimidated by your little show. You decide to give it some thought, knowing he’ll scrutinize your response if not chosen carefully. Though, it’s admittedly difficult to concentrate when your face is burning up and his hand is still groping your chest.

Swallowing thickly, you arrive at a half-decent comeback. “I’ll… I’ll hate you.”

It sounded far better in your head.

Chrollo raises an eyebrow at your rebuttal but decides to entertain it. “Don’t you already?”

“I’ll hate you even more,” comes your reply, stumbling out before you could think it over. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, he doesn’t take visible offense. Instead, the bastard laughs again. Affectionately, Chrollo brushes his knuckles over your cheek, mirth dancing in his eyes.

“Even more, huh,” he hums, your nonsensical ramblings sounding worse when repeated back. “If that’s the threat I’m contending with, then I’ll be sure to stick to my word.”

You’re not exactly reassured by this, but decide to leave it for now. Suddenly, Chrollo steps back, freeing you from his grip. Before you can ask about what he’s doing, his hands start loosening his belt. Ah. So the time for negotiating is over. His dress pants fall, revealing a prominent bulge pushing against his briefs.

“Now get on your knees for me.”

It wasn’t a request. You do as he says, hyper-aware of how he’s staring at you, the tile from your shared master bedroom cold against your shins. To save what little modesty you have remaining, you readjust your bra so your chest no longer threatens to spill out. Heartbeat picking up in pace, you lift a shaky hand, palming his crotch through the fabric.

The muscles in his thighs tighten, yet every other aspect of him remains thoroughly composed. Playing with the waistband, you slowly pull it down, revealing Chrollo’s half-hard member. It’s long, around six inches when erect, with a prominent vein that you’ve learned is rather sensitive. Precum is already leaking from the head, a sight that worsens the blush on your face.

Chrollo runs his hands through your hair, a quiet sigh leaving his lips. You pick up on the unspoken encouragement to not keep him waiting. Readjusting yourself into a more comfortable position, you take his dick fully into your hands, giving it a tentative stroke to test the waters. No verbal response. He’s excellent at maintaining his composure, creepy as it may be. Pumping his cock from the base, you bow your head down, eyelids fluttering shut as you kiss and lick the tip. That earns you a sharp inhale and a tightened grip but nothing else. Wetting your lips with your tongue, you continue licking the tip while jerking him off, noting that his cum has a slight salty taste to it.

Now that your confidence has somewhat been built up, you part your lips to take more of him in, getting adjusted to his size. Chrollo lets out a shaky exhale, fingers curling deeper into your hair. It’s difficult to get into a solid rhythm as your anxiety is unrelenting. Being so vulnerable in front of a person whose hands, which are now intertwined with your hair, have slaughtered countless people.

He could do the same to you at any time, you think, despite his insistence for not wanting to. Hollowing out your cheeks, you manage to take more of him in, stopping just shy as not to activate your gag reflex. It makes your stomach churn when he lovingly strokes your cheek, looking down at you with eyes glazed over with crazed lust. Of course, he wouldn’t make this easy on you and act different — he continues with the delusion that this is love.

“Eager, now are we?” Chrollo laughs breathlessly. You decide to ignore the comment, too focused on having him finish so you can move on with your night. The low groans and whispers of your name are starting to affect you, a factor that only adds to your shame.. Pangs of heat are building up in between your legs, which you subconsciously rub together in a feeble attempt to relieve yourself. Chrollo quietly groans, content at the sight, dick twitching in your mouth. You wish he hadn’t noticed just how turned on you’re growing — not that you’re surprised with how unfairly observant he is — fully prepared for more scathing comments.

“I’m glad you stopped being so stubborn,” he pushes himself deeper into your mouth, gripping your head tightly enough not to let you move away, “So I can finally have my way with you.”

You wince at how he forces his dick down your throat, tears stinging the corners of your eyes and lungs screaming for air. Chrollo drinks in the sight, shuddering, bucking his hips, and pulling your face as tight against him as he can. You figure his release is getting closer from how erratic his movements are growing. At least it’ll be over soon. This line of thought is interrupted as he pulls away, saliva and cum connecting your mouth to his dick in a thin line, which has you frowning. Relishing the opportunity to regain yourself, your lungs greedily gulp in air, and you cough from his previous actions.

Chrollo extends a hand out to you which you hesitantly accept. The more human side is starting to show, his skin sheening with sweat, bare chest heaving for air much like yours, and black tresses sticking to the sides of his face. Your lips part, intending to ask why he stopped. He places both his just hands below your ass, hoisting you up as if you weighed nothing. Yelping, you struggle and cling to him as not to fall, eyes wide with confusion.

“W-what—”

“Wrap your legs around me,” he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead and you do as he says, scared that you’ll fall otherwise. “Mm. Good girl.”

Chrollo carries you over to the wall, your back pressing against the hard surface and feeling its coolness on your bare skin. After thinking about it for a moment, you understand what it is he intends to do next, tightening your grip around him. He positions the head of his cock against your opening, smiling at how wet you are. At least he’s too focused to comment on your current state. You look to the side, not wanting to see the pleased expression you know is on his face.

“I’ll take care of you after,” Chrollo promises, slowly pushing himself inside you. You take a deep breath, gripping his shoulders tightly, fingernails digging into his skin. At least he’s allowing you to adjust. You yelp when he grabs a fistful of your hair, tugging it so that you look him dead in the eye. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Hm?”

A half-choked out moan leaves your lips as he fills you, feeling his sizeable length stretching you out.

“Y-yes,” You pant, carnal desire outweighing any solid reasoning at the moment. Chrollo continues to pound relentlessly into your cunt, burying his face in your neck. He’s coming undone, fucking you with a strength that has you breathless. You catch occasional guttural groans of your name and don’t want to admit how nice it sounds.

“I always knew you’d come around.”

The sound of skin on skin fills the room, mixed in with his grunts and your moans. Squeezing your ass, his thrusts grow erratic, before he finally stills. Chrollo releases deep inside you, pulling you down onto him, hot ropes of cum filling you and seeping out.

He grits his teeth, shuddering at his release. All is still for a moment aside from your heavy chests. Chrollo gathers himself before you do, slowly pulling himself out. You feel his cum as it drips out of you and bite your lip at the possible implications. Everything is so warm and your body feels terribly sore, having to clutch onto him for stability when he puts you back down. Chrollo doesn’t seem to mind this, laughing as he runs his hands through your mousled hair.

“How precious.”

You yelp when he picks you up, bridal style this time, your face pressing against his chest.

“It looks like you needed some help there, dear.” Chrollo hums, placing you down onto the bed with a gentleness you weren’t used to. There’s no way any normal human could be this collected already. Taking deep breaths, you attempt to calm yourself, not wanting to be completely undone before him. Chrollo watches with intrigue while you do so, his eyes piercing through your trembling body. When you finally manage to get your breathing steady, he gently pushes your shoulders down and spreads your legs.

“Now, about that promise of mine,” he presses open-mouthed kisses from your ankle to your thighs, “I intend to keep it. We’ll keep going until you’re no longer able to stand.”

#chrollo lucilfer #chrollo x reader #chrollo imagine #chrollo lucilfer imagine #chrollo #yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere #yandere x reader #not sfw #tw: dubcon #yandere hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter imagine #hxh x reader #yandere hxh x reader #my stuff

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bestiesenpai · 3 years

Text

firsts with Gojo Satoru

Every day I’m reminded that Gojo is 6.3ft and every day I remind myself that I could still slap the shit out of him and I wouldn’t even have to reach that high. That is what brings me inner peace.

First meeting

It’s not often that the Gojo Satoru is tasked with cleaning up curses of any grade less than level 1, but sometimes while he was casually out and about he would see a few and handle them with no issue

Like the cluster of fly heads going through the street, harassing people

It takes him no time at all to get to them, a few long strides and he’s there

With a swipe of his hand, the curses are expelled, gone from the world and no longer causing havoc

“What were those things?” A curious voice asks off to the side. Lowering his sunglasses, Satoru turns to the person looking at where the curses had just been.

“What things?” He feigns ignorance and it makes you snort.

“Those flying things you just got rid of. I was watching them for a while, they were pretty annoying.” While you’re talking, Satoru is sizing you up. He can sense just a tiny bit of cursed energy coming from you, not enough to be of any use except for the ability to see curses.

Worrying his lip, Satoru debated on how much he should tell you, if anything at all. He thought you were cute, so maybe he could tell you a little bit and then lead it into another conversation...maybe get your number.

“Are you okay?” Suddenly you’re closer to him than you were before. In all his going back and forth he’d failed to see you take a few steps closer and peer at him, that curious look back in your eyes. “Try not to think too hard, mister, I wouldn’t want your pretty face to get all wrinkled now.”

Satoru actually laughs at that, his chest nearly bumping into you with how close you two are now. He even bends a little at the waist, completely caught off guard by how you, a perfect stranger, have just spoken to him.

“Ya know, that’s not the usual response I get from people.” Fixing his glasses on his head, Satoru fixes you with a smirk he knows people swoon over. “And my name’s not ‘mister’. It’s Satoru, Gojo Satoru.”

“Okay.” His smirk wavers just slightly when he realizes you’re not exactly falling into his arms, just nodding and then you’re pointing to the sky where the fly heads had been. “So Gojo, what were those things?”

First hangout

Gojo does end up telling you the truth about the flyheads and you take it better than he was expecting

He was quick to get your first and last name, maybe you were from a family of sorcerers...but you weren’t. Just a normal person who saw him expel some curses

The conversation quickly ends after he’s done explaining it to you, much to his chagrin. He’d laid on the charm thick, hoping you’d ask for his number or for an opportunity for him to ask, but none came

When he was done telling you about the curses, you gave him a brief pat on the arm, thanked him and went about your day

There was a soft smile on your face as you walked away, and the feeling of your hand still lingered on his arm

Gojo wanted to see you again, but he knew he might never

“Oh, hello Gojo.” Your voice pops up again in an unexpected place, the candy section of a local convenience store near the train station he’d just exited.

“Huh?” He turns, surprised to see you and surprised that you addressed him so casually. It was indeed you, the person he’d seen before and wanted to get to know better.

“Hm, is it not you? I don’t know anyone else that tall with white hair.” Scratching your cheek, you give him a once over.

“It is me.” He’s quick to answer before you apologize and walk away.

“Ha, knew it.” A sly grin comes on your face and Satoru grins in return, his chest tightening a little bit. Rocking on your heels, you gesture to the candy in front of you. “What’s your poison?”

“Everything.” Snorting, Satoru looks at the candy briefly, eyes scanning on all the ones he’s tried.

“Ouch, sounds like a serious sweet tooth.” Chuckling to yourself, you reach out and grab a bag of sour gummies. “These are my favorite, have you tried them?” He has and he kind of hates them, but he picks up a bag anyway and pretends to read it over.

“No, I haven’t. They’re your favorite, you say?” You nod and he holds them more securely in his hand. “Alright, I’ll get them. And this.” Snatching up a chocolate bar he knows he actually likes, Satoru walks with you to the checker and puts his items on top of yours. “I’ll pay.”

You don’t fight him on paying, thanking him with a smile and another pat on his arm. As you walk out of the shop, Satoru nearly puts his arm around your shoulder. It feels like the two of you are on a casual snack run together before going somewhere to watch a movie or something. Even though you’re a stranger, Satoru feels like you already belong together.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again.” You say, snapping him out of his delusion. “What are your plans for the day?” It’s a wonderful day in a suburb of Tokyo, near the place you’d first met. The sun is beaming but not too hot, there’s fluffy white clouds scattered around the sky and a light breeze.

“Nothing, honestly.” Shrugging his shoulder, Satoru looks up and down the street. Honestly, he did have something to do, he was supposed to meet Ijichi for a little meeting with a few other people. But if he was being honest, he’d gladly be late or even skip it entirely if it meant talking to you more.

“Really? Well if you’re into them, there’s a really good cafe just around the corner. I think you’d like it.” Oh shit, were you asking to hang out with him? Or was this more of a date? Watching you take out your phone, Satoru is confused when you pull up a GPS. “If you want, I’ll send you the address.”

Wait...what? Looking at you with clear confusion on his face, Satoru points down the street.

“Let’s go there together, since we’re already here.” Your eyes widen a fraction of an inch, but Satoru can easily see the miniscule way your face changes. Putting your phone away, you take a step down the street.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Once at the cafe, Satoru feels in heaven. It’s a space made for intimate conversations with closed off booths lining the walls and the rich dark colors decorating the space. It feels almost like a lounge instead of a cafe, but when he sees the menu and there’s no alcohol, he’s reminded of what it is.

“I like to get an earl gray and some macarons.” You tell him as you stand by the counter, looking up at the menu.

“I’m going to get that super chocolate cake.”

“That’s so much chocolate!” Chuckling, you walk up to the waiting cashier, wallet already out. “Go ahead and order, Gojo, I’ll pay.”

You don’t end up paying, actually. Gojo quickly plucked your wallet from your hands and put his money down instead. It wasn’t that he was trying to impress you by paying for everything, but he kind of was. He wanted you to know he was dependable.

Sliding into a booth, he can feel your knees knocking together, legs sliding between one another as you get comfortable. With the light from the window illuminating you, Satoru wished he could take a picture of you.

“Let me know how you like it.” Taking a sip of your tea, you watch him expectantly. Not one to disappoint an audience, Satoru takes a bite of the cake and lets out a pleased hum.

“(Y/N), this is great.” He practically moans, eagerly taking another bite.

“Knew you would like it.” You’ve got a silly smile spreading your cheeks wide, and Satoru lifts his hand up, wanting to pinch your cheek.

“You’ve got good taste.” He says instead, putting his elbow on the table to cover up his attempt at trying to touch your face. “I really like it here.”

You’re a very big reason why he likes it there.

First date

Gojo makes sure to get your number after that, he refuses to miss an opportunity like that

He can’t risk the possibility of just ‘maybe’ running into you again, he needs to insert himself into your life more than just chance run-ins

Gojo is a great texter, you’ll learn that quickly. He messages you back promptly, having riveting conversations with each other and sometimes calling on the phone as well

Whenever his phone goes off and it’s not you he automatically deflates, and has on more than one occasion answered the phone and opened up the conversation with ‘you’re not (Y/N), but I guess I have time to talk’ with a big dramatic sigh after

He asks you out the second he has a free day, just begging and hoping you’re also available

And with his oh so good luck, you are!

“How’d I know you’d pick an arcade?” You chuckle as you approach his waiting figure outside the building. Satoru is dressed nicely, but not too much. A smart bomber jacket with a plain black shirt underneath and jeans, not overdressed but more put together than his everyday look. And of course, his signature glasses.

“I have to show you I’m the best at everything.” Opening the door for you, he’s eager to get started on playing some games. “(Y/N), wander around and see what you wanna do first, I’ll exchange some money.”

“Okay.” You’ve given up on trying to pay for things when Satoru is around, he will adamantly refuse. Wandering around the arcade floor between the different machines, your eyes settle on a claw machine, a cute Pikachu plush just sitting there waiting for you.

“Gojo.” You’re bouncing on your heels watching him exchange money, and as soon as he collects all the coins you grab him by the hand and bring him to the claw machine. A light pink tinge paints his cheeks and he doesn’t look away from your hands connected together until you let go and tap on the glass. “Look at this plush! It needs me.”

“Here, try for it.” Putting a generous amount of coins in the machine, Satoru stands next to you and watches as you try to pick it up with the claw several times but fail. The plush doesn’t move at all with any of your attempts, making a frustrated whine leave the back of your throat.

“Pikachu, I love you.” You say, dramatically putting a hand on your heart and looking at the plush.

“Let me try, I’ll get it.” Confidently stepping up to the controller, Satoru smirks and taps the glass. “I’ll get the little guy real easy.”

“Mhmm, whatever you say.” Rolling your eyes, you stand close to him, eyes watching keenly as the claw moves. Grabbing onto the plush, Satoru manages to move it a good few inches towards the opening. “Satoru!” You gasp, grabbing onto his arm as he moves the plush again and it nearly falls in. His cheeks tinge a little when you say his first name.

“Told you.” He could feel himself getting distracted with the way both of your hands are now clinging to his arm, practically hugging it to your body. It only takes two more tries before the plush falls into the opening and the machine lets out a victory noise.

“Awesome!” You’re so excited that you jump a little bit in joy and actually do hug his arm tightly before letting go. Putting the plush in your hands, Satoru watches as you cutely squish it with your hands and smile.

“What other plush do you want? I’ll win them all.”

He did indeed win all the plushies and toys you wanted. He always let you try first, wanting to see if you could do it on your own, but more often than not he proved the title ‘best at everything’ wasn’t just for show.

Moving on from the claw games, you played the other arcade games around. Mario kart, random rhythm games and even scary shooters, Satoru played them all with you. Sometimes he let you win, other times he completely destroyed you. And when something scared you, he was always there to put an arm around your shoulder and protect you.

First confession

You spend far too many hours in the arcade, playing game after game and accumulating an obscene amount of claw game prizes

Gojo doesn’t joke around damnit!

He also forces Ijichi to come and drive you home lol and he sits in the backseat with you, holding your hand and playing with your fingers while you make friendly conversation with Ijichi

Carrying the bag full of plushies to your door, Gojo sets them in the threshold of your apartment before looking back at you

The open door is like a void just begging for Satoru to step into. The soft overhead light you’d flicked on was enough to illuminate a little more of your apartment, and from what Satoru could see it was nicely decorated and smelled like flowers.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” Biting your lip, you look at him for just a moment before looking away again, rocking back and forth on your feet bashfully.

“I did too.” Satoru means it, he’s already planning the next date in his head and the best way to shove his responsibilities onto others so his schedule opens up. Grabbing your hand, he laces your fingers together and holds it up to his chest. “I hope I can see you again soon. I really like you (Y/N).”

“I like you a lot too.” You’re too embarrassed to say anything more, continuing to bite your lip and letting Satoru squeeze your hand. Slowly, the two of you shuffle closer to each other, and Satoru brushes the tips of his fingers along your face, subtly tilting it up so he can kiss you.

Just as he gets close enough to feel your breath, a sharp baby's cry sounds from the apartment next to yours and it makes you jump. There’s shuffling inside and then the door is thrown open and a tired looking man in old sweats comes running out.

“Oh, hi (Y/N)!”

“Hi Mr. Yoo. What’re you doing out?” Turning to him, you try to play off the fact that you were just caught almost kissing in front of your door.

“I realized we’re all out of diapers! I have to go get some stat.” He barely pays Satoru any attention, quickly rushing off with a brief goodbye.

Now the moment had been ruined, you were too far now and you’d pulled your hands away when the door was opened. Stepping into your apartment, you give a lingering look at Satoru’s lips before meeting his eyes.

“Text me when you get home.” You say, and with a soft goodbye you close the door and Satoru leaves.

First kiss

Getting blue balled by a baby was definitely not in Gojos five year plan

He literally can’t wait until you see each other again, he’s obsessing about kissing you

Applies lip balm like it’s the only thing keeping him alive, the man would rather swallow a jean jacket than have you kiss dry lips

Any amount of time apart from you is painful and it’s only made worse when his schedule becomes full, too tightly packed to move anything around

He’s keeping up with you through text and calls but it’s not enough for him, and he lets you know almost every time you call that he wants to be with you, be able to physically touch you and see you

When there’s a little festival in Tokyo and Nobara and Itadori are begging to go, Gojo uses it as a chance to see you again

“Hi everyone!” You’re very excited to meet Satoru’s students. He hadn’t told you he was a teacher, all he said was he exorcised curses.

“Hi!” Itadori is excited to meet you, Nobara is excited to see who’s been taking up all of her teacher's time and Fushiguro is just there, curious about you but too aloof to ask any questions.

“So I take it Satoru teaches you guys how to get rid of those curses and stuff, huh?” Your question floored them, and even Fushiguro was looking at you with wide eyes.

“(Y/N) can see curses.” Satoru steps in, putting an arm around your shoulders.

“Yeah, I guess I can see a little bit of cursed energy.” Nobara mutters. Truthfully, they were all too busy asking you questions and looking at how pretty you were to notice cursed energy.

“You guys are really brave! Some of those curses are really scary.” Shivering as you recall one you’d seen recently(and texted Satoru about), you point toward the festival stalls. “But you guys probably don’t wanna talk about work, huh? Let’s go get some food, I’ll pay.”

“Sorry (Y/N), we’re under strict orders not to accept your money.” Making an X with his arms, he and Nobara shook their heads.

“Satoru!” Slapping his chest playfully, you start to walk through the festival. “Let me pay for something, you’re gonna go broke at this rate!”

“Nope, not happening.” Keeping you close to him, Satoru makes sure you don’t pay for a single thing. He’d purposefully brought a lot of cash to this knowing that the kids would go absolutely crazy - and that he wanted to spoil you some more to make up for his absence.

As the night progresses, the students get more and more distant. Satoru had briefed them on the way that it was purely a date between you and him and that they were just tagging along and not to stick around for too long.

“This snow ice is so good!” At a more secluded spot at the festival, you and Satoru find a bench to sit at and enjoy the frozen treat he’d bought.

“Feed me.” Opening his mouth, Satoru sticks his tongue out obnoxiously while waiting for you.

“You’re gonna drool on yourself.” You laugh, quickly scooping some up and putting it in his mouth. Holding your hand, Satoru lets the ice fully dissolve before pulling the spoon out. He wants to make a teasing sexual comment, but a loud boom sounds in the sky before he can.

“Fireworks.” He whispers, looking up at the sky as it’s illuminated with bright flashes of light. You let out a noise in awe of the display, and Satoru is suddenly staring right at you. Looking at the way your eyes reflect the light, he can’t stop himself from leaning forward.

“Sa-” Turning your head at the same time he’s about to kiss your cheek, your lips connect. You gasp, and if Satoru hadn’t also been holding onto the snow ice it would have fallen from your hand.

He doesn’t miss an opportunity though, pressing firmly on your lips and tilting his head a little. Your eyes flutter closed, and you pull away for a brief moment to lick your lips before going back in. The sound of fireworks continue to boom above you, continuing to flash light across your closed eyes. It all adds to the experience of kissing Satoru.

“You taste so sweet.” He says when you pull away to breathe, keeping his face close enough that he can rub his nose against yours.

“Shut up.” Satoru can practically feel the heat radiating off your face and it makes him chuckle. Giving you another kiss, he pulls away when the fireworks stop going off. The smile you have on your face warms his heart, his cheeks a light red color to show for it.

“Looks like we’ll need more ice.” Holding up the melting treat, a little pout settles on your lips and Satoru audibly coos.

“I’ll be right back.” Shooting up from the bench, he nearly runs to the stall, already hurting from being apart and eager to get back to you.

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