FIRST COLLECTION — 7 January 2020

"The album features a variety of tracks that highlights the musical attainments that SF9 has achieved and which will present a bright vision of the future. In particular, the members participated in all 10 songs, proving a wide range of musical growth. In addition to the sensuous performance that has become the trademark of SF9, they will open the prelude to the SF9 Golden Age with a luxurious and slick visual concept named ‘GOLDEN RATED’ that only SF9 can be awarded." Happy anniversary to SF9's first full album, which graced us with the much-deserved first win!

Okay tumblr Stays. This is your native territory. If anybody's gonna enjoy this, it's you. From one Stay to another, blow this up...pretty please. I know this ain't tiktok lol.

But yeh I made an English cover of Maniac! I threw some fun little nods to the source material in the visuals (no shut up we're not talking about the members here) and my translation itself.

I'd toss this in a reblog, but I don't especially want it to get lost if someone wants to see it. Here are some more deets on how I made it!

I speak like. twenty words in Korean, so I did not directly translate it from the og lyrics myself. HOWEVER. What I did do was take the English subs from the MV along with a bunch of other lyric videos and translations (and sometimes I even looked up translations of specific words) in order to get a good picture of the original intention of the lyrics, with obvious priority given to the official translation from the MV. Then I tried to figure out how to make that singable in English. Some of it, I could keep nearly the same as the original subs, but other parts translate more awkwardly, so I took some creative license while trying not to take that too far.

Not gonna cap with you, I am not that experienced of a producer, and anybody who is will probably know that right off the bat. Part of the point of this was to force a learning experience on myself by RPing as 3racha for a bit 😂 Hence why I didn't try to come up with my own arrangement, but literally replicate every. single. sound from the original audio. If Maniac has 175M views, I'm 175 of them just from trying to make this dang thing. And that's before I wised up and just ripped the audio to insert as an audio track in my Logic session to hear it side by side rather than replaying parts of the MV every dang time it can't be illegal if I own the literal CD. Seriously though, I came out of this project knowing way more producing stuff than I had before, and I'm really proud of myself for that.

Those two are the big things, but in other fun facts, the pic I used for myself in the video was taken directly after I got back to the hotel after going to their Newark D2 concert! Were there other pics I probably could have used? Ones where the bottom half of my hair isn't approximately the color of seaweed? Sure. But it's the principle of it, man. It's the principle. and hey at least I matched with Minho for a short bit

Catastrophe is a way better producer than me and a super sweet guy, so it was really great to have him look over my work and help out with a few things, on top of his contributions as a featured artist 😭 And though JoePav's part in the cover was tiny, his enthusiasm in the project and its progress has been mighty and appreciated beyond words! When you don't have a big following, it can be a bit harder to get excited about your own work sometimes, so having somebody else get excited on your behalf is contagious and really nice 😊

I stayed up on 3/17-18/22 to listen to Oddinary when it dropped at midnight, and I started my lyric translation the very next day. I'd say the next morning, but I think I had classes. But I was vibrating that entire morning because despite having been a kpop fan for a good year at that point, Oddinary was the first album I'd bought, and it got delivered that day when it wasn't supposed to come for days yet. It was also my first anticipated skz comeback. By technicality, I'd probably been a Stay since somewhere around Kingdom by pure happenstance, but I was in denial I was as deep in the hole as I was, so I didn't call myself a Stay until after NOEASY. BAHAHAHAHA so much denial, but also so much gradual falling into Stayville because I did in fact listen through the whole album within a week of it coming out.

This got so off topic, how did it get so off topic

I remember listening to Maniac for the first time and just feeling so at home with the lyrics of it. Like even if I didn't end up covering it, it was a message that resonated so much with me and with one of the main messages I like to communicate in my own lyrics and as a person: normal is overrated. Yeah, sure, it's kind of been tossed around nerd communities so much that it almost sounds like a pick me at this point, but like, being comfortable enough with "being yourself" to act a little weird in public is a bigger feat than people give it credit for. And yep, it's one of the biggest reasons I stan Stray Kids. They're a bunch of unapologetic weirdos, and it feels like home. I like to say that they feel like family, both in the straightforward understanding of the phrase and because they often act like my literal blood family does. Like a bunch of nutcases.

And now that I've spent a literal hour or more on this brain dump (why. why did I do that.) I will let this post and myself go to bed after using my resin in genshin. Hope it was interesting enough, and if not, oh well. At least my brain has been thoroughly emptied.

feels a little early to be writing a year-in review but i find myself in a quiet moment so i thought i’d tap a few things out

in 2019, in all facets of my life, i faced a challenge of some sort and i surprised myself as i held my ground more often than ran away, which felt new. what *also* felt new was this sense of ease i began having professionally, when it came to conceptualizing and making decisions. sorta feels like a lot of things are crystallizing.

in terms of life on here, i didn’t have TSL for the majority of the year (anybody out there remember TSL?!) so i busied myself with crafting fun memories on my own. there were spans of weeks where i’d just get on a tear and run into one new thing after the other and it was all really just fantastic. i gave myself permission to indulge in the most decadent of things and to follow the most mercurial of assumptions to places i thought closed off.

i’m pretty sure i’ve smiled and laughed more over this year than i ever have in my entire life. no joke.

here are some kaylorverse moments that brought me joy in 2019:

it’s nice to have a friend

2018 was my first year being a kaylor and i just sort of was moreover on the contributor or commenter side of things so 2019 was interesting in that when taylor really leaned into the gay imagery leading up to album release, i started getting newer people sending me stuff! and asking me my takes on things! and like, my words suddenly had weight for some reason? it felt weird but i truly enjoyed getting to talk with so many different people and hear their ideas and laugh and such. that was markedly different from last year. from within this, 79-swift reached out to me with the eye theory, the most beautiful and rare of observations by a singularly lovely individual that i have dedicated my life to protecting and promoting. and i feel like i’ve gotten to know many people i knew through 2018 more deeply and have come to accept the role i play, lean in to it, and formulate my own truth of the matter, and that sort of heightened perspective on it has been a blessing and i’m so thankful for this strange sense of camaraderie that has formed with many of you? thank you??? and my conviction, and my wishes, for the girls to find happiness have only strengthened this year... im committed to seeing this through whether people like it or not!! harumph!

block ‘em

i also started proactively curating my experience.. that’s right! i began blocking trolls with reckless abandon, and i turned anons off! 😂 and damn it’s so much more worthwhile of a time on here when you set aside people that only want to ruin your day.

i got over my fear of eyeballs!!

😂 no seriously, body horror and in particular eyes out of context was actually sort of a thing that previously creeped me out BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. i’m gonna do my best not to rehash the eye theory, please read the post and recall the number of times i filipped out 😂 each and every one is precious to me

also

geeking out with bert and ernie gifs with kaylorfossil and making empsmd-blog drop her debit card need a mention.

the ME! music playlist.

i fell in love with so many songs and like, running into eye motifs in so many of the songs, lyrically and visually, was the most hilarious thing. but really just a lot of the songs really tapped at my soul with an ice pick and i even went to go see The Japanese House live in Osaka which was transcendental and i’m just so thankful for having taylor introduce Good At Falling to me because it was a *necessary* album.

i made and collected stuff

i made and amassed many artifacts that one day i can look back on and remember what a wild ride it has been. some favorites are my procuring of the pixel art heart ring from the ME! mv (a nod to my tsl days..), as well as the evil eye ring.. i didn’t physically make this but the eye theory made the taydar podcast and there’s nothing i enjoy more in this world than making someone giggle and i just love that the episode exists. making that kaylor straw was 👌 working on a mock-up of the golden locket has been very satisfying. i started incorporating fun kaylor winks into my artwork as well which was fun, and i also commissioned a collage from the very talented and lovely valheria and i couldn’t have asked for anything better 🥰

wildin in the TS7 tag was the best.

i made this observation that there’s this type of cocoon that looks like a cobra, which transforms into a butterfly over a period of 13 days, and like, the post got so many notes and i just had a lot of swiftie eyeballs all of a sudden on my blog which led to some hilarity. but honestly i just love geeking out over theories and it’s fun to get to do that as fans of taylor at large. things felt warm and effervescent.

my newspaper subscription

i subscribe to the TTB Times and let me just say the submissions and anons this year were overwhelmingly a delight to read through every day. also like, we did get cued in to stuff before album release and i am just thankful that there are people out there both who want to give us that and people who work to help them give us that. thank you ttb for moderating your blog (my newspaper of choice) however it is that you do and to everyone that contributed to her blog.

the whole lead up to the ME! video release

so glorious... but particular the hour before. i was rushing to pick up my kid from school and suddenly i kept getting messages from people that taylor was covering her face and framing her eyes, and i was like oh please yeah sure BUT THEN when the snake in the video had a blank eye like i don’t think you guys understand i had to wait at a bus stop and exchange pleasantries with the other moms but it was a *five alarm fire* in my mind

cause shade never made anybody less gay

stealing away to listen to YNTCD for the first time and hearing Taylor Alison Swift use the word gay in a released song for the first time was a transcendental moment

karlie’s hand in the YNTCD mv.

‘nuff said

daisies. daisies everywhere.

taylor said daisy kaylor rights, and she said it everywhere. *everywhere*. cannot, will not, get over how blessed we are.

gay gay gay gay gay.... taylor’s

sorry not sorry that wiz khalifa collab with elohim on her track FYM was ethereal and i still hope it’s a part of the preshow playlist for Lover Fest

clue hunting in klossy videos and karlie ads

call me a corporate shill all you want like, there’s always a little something in there and i also enjoy the little flickers of goofy karlie that jump out from time to time. and i know this is not the case for everyone but post eyepocalypse, karlie leaning in, winking that eye of hers time and time again was just pique comedy for me and it always made me chuckle. the brands karlie has repped have been really laying it on thick too and it’s been a joy to see. when taylor does it with her music it’s art, and for me karlie’s media presence is a form of art too 😌

oh kaptain my kaptain

kimby liked a comment of mine on her insta which was a distinct honor and privilege 😌 and really she was dropping clues left and right through spring up until she got her snazzy new job and things calmed down 🥰 of which i am so proud talk about an on brand job! also partially clearing the air about my TSL theory and the lead up to clearing that air was quite fulfilling for me and i am forever grateful for the time we shared. and to this point, the seesters in general (and kurt omg) have been quite active all year and we don’t deserve it but they’ve stuck around and it’s been calming.

album cover art release on the livestream

LIKE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE NEVER HAD A FOURTH WALL BROKEN SO DULY

i love you forever, thank you for everything

when taylor came to visit tokyo this year i was basically reenacting the swamp scene from OOTW trying to get a ticket to the secret event... i listened to ME! on LINE MUSIC for over 2000 plays, i bought multiple CD’s, it was such an ordeal and then to not have a ticket after all but still putting on my thinking cap and managing to figure out where the event was while i was at disney sea and literally running from disney sea to the venue in high heels with The Man playing on my phone was oscar-worthy and actually *being correct* and the moment i knew i was correct and how i knew i was correct was so amazing 😉 and i play by the rules so i didn’t try to get in without a ticket and i didn’t lurk. but just to have figured it out and validated it was such a thrill. seeing her on TV live was amazing as well ///

lost in japan, reprise

oh and, last year for rep tour there was this theory i had which didn’t pan out but it had to do with the clues i thought shawn mendes was dropping through autumn 2018 and anyway that’s a story for another day but as i was bopping around town, looking for lockets, staying in rooms i have no business being in, drinking lots of whisky...just to know that while i was doing *everything but* successfully meeting taylor, she literally phoned shawn and had him record lines for that eye theory remix like, i will never ever, like, guys. guys. 😂 it’s too perfect for words. the world is weird like that sometimes.

Lover

and omg Lover the album? i absolutely love lover and i loves that honeymoon period of theorizing and parallel unearthing that we did and i love how slightly creepy-cute it is and i love the whole wabi-sabi thing going on and i absolutely love every song on the album, every one, they all have so much meaning to me... and each one is teeming with little blips and bloops and sound samples and seconds of silence and i love all the brass instruments and so many lush moments... i guess my shortlist (in no particular order) would be the archer, lover, i think he knows, daylight, cruel summer, false god, cornelia street, ME! (yea i really like me 🥰). and to think about everything that went in to the album and the thrill of what it might have been and the vastness of what we don’t know, but like, the weight of that potential?? it’s like this vast pastel and black abyss of drowsy and deep feelings and i love every inch of it. it’s a vibe that reflects so much of what this year has been for me and i’m happy to have existed in this time to have had it with me.

jesus this has gotten too long, and i still have like 24 more things to write out but um, basically, as i’m sure you’ve been able to assume? i wanted to say that despite 2019 being somewhat of a slasher film affair for our fandom, i still had a goddamn great time this year and i hope everyone can find some good memories and relive them as well 🥰

On your mind - Mark Lee

A/n: this idea came to me super randomly yesterday and I felt compelled to write it in about an hour so I hope it’s good :D

-

• so one day after a grueling dance practice, your manager approaches you with a water and towel before telling you to sit down

• he brings up that there’s going to be a new season of sm station songs

• you start getting excited because you know how special stations are and how much they can help someone’s career

• not that you were struggling with album or ticket sales by any means but still

• he brings up the name Mark Lee and you’re kinda surprised bc even though you haven’t interacted with him much you know he’s a star

• you’re always impressed by his performances and you hope that you have a similar aura that he does on stage

• anyways,,,your manager says your station will be a collab with Mark and that you guys start writing/recording next week and filming the video soon after that

• you nod and get back to your practicing but now with a bit more pep in your step

• Mark’s manager tells him a similar spiel and of course Marky Mark gets a bit flustered at the thought of working with you one on one

• although Mark is super professional he still can’t help the little butterflies that fluttered in his tummy at the mention of your name

• he may or may not have one of your albums and he may or may not watch your stages whenever he can catch them

• with all that said, Mark got very excited to work with you next week and later proceeded to tell the whole nct dorm about how lucky he was

• anyways,,,time skip to next week

• your manager tells you what studio Mark is in and you greet him politely

• “hi, it’s nice to meet you” - you bowing and extending your hand

• “you too, I’m excited to work with you” - mark being thankful you couldn’t see his face for the huge grin on it

• you nearly swooned at how simple and cute his outfit was, all he was wearing was blue jeans and a red hoodie but you couldn’t stop your heart from racing wow

• but after a few minutes you guys settle into the seats in front of the soundboard and start coming up with ideas

• “I wanted to do a smooth melody and a soft rap but I’m such a sucker for sweet songs so if you have other ideas I’m all ears” - you nervously brushing your hair behind your ear

• “I started working on lyrics when my manager told me we were doing this and my ideas for the rapping are similar to what you were thinking actually”

• he hands you his lyrics written on a piece of paper and you said the words aloud before smiling at him

• you guys didn’t say anything but instead started creating a basic beat to start building on

• you let Mark handle most of it considering you didn’t get to produce often, also it was refreshing to see him so in his element but in a different way

• he was so eager to answer your questions, which there were plenty of considering your lack of experience

• after a few days of continuously working on the lyrics and getting a melody down pact you start recording

• you and Mark take turns in the booth and listening to what the producer says

• you were thankful for so much creative freedom and Mark noticed how excited you got when someone would compliment a lyric you composed

• after Mark finishes recording a majority of his rap and it gets validated by the producer, you cheer for him

• “you did really well Mark, I can’t wait to hear the whole song.” - you put your hand on his arm and drag it down causing goosebumps on his skin

• *cue Mark getting so flustered that he literally can’t get a single word out and instead just giggles and says thanks*

• later you guys were getting ready to leave (after spending half an hour just standing in the lobby of the building not quite wanting to say goodnight just yet)

• you guys ended a few nights getting something from the cafe right down the street before heading to your dorms

• not that either of you would admit you had a crush on the other to anybody else, it was safe to say you guys were head over heels

• when Mark got back one night he was practically interrogated by Jaehyun and Johnny when he got back later then them for the first time in a long time

• Mark of course told them and they squealed like little girls when Mark admitted he might’ve had a tiny little itty bitty full blown crush on you

• this then went around the three dorms until they were all teasing him for it relentlessly until he met up with you again

• the next day the MV would drop and you could feel your stomach in your chest because of how nervous you were to reveal the project you two had been working on for so long

• that and the fact that the video portrayed you two as a couple of lovestruck teens longing for the other before finally getting together on a rainy Sunday night

• the video was full of clichés such as him holding his jacket over your head while he gets soaked, your hands brushing past one another while you walk, him buying you snacks, and of course you acting cute to get his attention

• after the video came out, you and Mark celebrated with your managers the success of the video and song thus far

• the day of your first music bank performance (pretend those are a thing for stations mmkay) a few of his members were there to cheer you guys on

• doyoung, johnny, jaehyun, and jeno watched you guys dance sweetly on the stage and boi they knew y’all were so whipped for one another how cute!!

• your heart was racing after the performance was over and you couldn’t help yourself, you hugged him and said he did really well to which he complimented you before wrapping his arms around you shoulders

• meanwhile the boys are watching and peeping all of this and now they know you definitely like him and that they have to get Mark to ask you out

• the next performance came and went quickly, both of your fans cheered you on so well and they absolutely loved the song you two created, it even got your fans requesting more of your songs to be influenced by what you like

• then the third and final performance came and more members of nct were there, by this time a few of them were close to you and supported you equally if not more than Mark lol

• after the stage you guys were relaxing in your green room on the couch and you felt so exhausted that you casually leaned your head on his shoulder

• Marks soul almost left his body, and he shifted so it was less strenuous on your neck, he lifted his arm up and wrapped it around your shoulder, welcoming you into his embrace

• meanwhile you wanted to scream because since when did Mark Lee like skinship? you felt your inner school girl begging to be let free so you could freak out but alas you held it in

• eventually Mark’s manager came in to pick both of you up and take you back to sm so you got up and followed both of them out the door

• while your manager is pulling up the car, Mark takes a leap of faith and shyly grabs your hand to get your attention, you look up at him sleepily and he smirks at you

• “do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night? like on a date?”

• you’re startled ngl but it doesn’t take long for you to say yes and link your fingers with his for a mere second before the car pulls up

• suddenly you’re not tired at all and suddenly Mark is the only thing on your mind

Uhm Jung Hwa “Ending Credit” MV Review

I AM NOT WORTHY!!!!

MY NAME IS JACE (aka Felicity B) AND

I

AM

NOT

W O R T H Y!!!!

~The Song~

Ending Credit is a bop, sis. A lowkey, melancholy bop.

But a bop, nonetheless.

Ms Junghwa might have played racketball with my wig with Ending Credit.

She might have run up on my ass with a razor and faded me with Ending Credit.

I might need surgery cause I'm missing the first layer of my skull cause of Ending Credit.

But, you know… A bitch isn't mad!!!

Uhm Junghwa has a voice that you don't really hear a lot of in K-Pop. Her tone is very airy, but she lacks any of the brightness that the typical vocalist has in spades. She has a thinner tone than makes her voice easy to layer and stack, but you know it's her singing. Overall, she has a very distinct voice and after 25 years in the game, she's definitely learned how to harness it to great effect.

Ending Credit, like I mentioned above, has a very sad, melancholic vibe to it. It's a rather upbeat song, but it's more "dancing with tears in my eyes" than PSY's New Face. This is partly due to the New Wave/NuDisco style production, courtesy of Primary and SURAN (who are the absolute last people on Earth I would have expected to be Behind The Music™) and the chord progressions that make up the song.

New Wave is a very bittersweet sounding genre of music. No matter how many major chords you use to write a New Wave song, that shit comes out with a sad, almost nostalgic undertone to it.

But that's okay, because that's clearly the vibe they were going for in Ending Credit. The chord progressions used here are usually used when they're either discussing change that's happened in the past, or a change that's about to happen. There's a "life will go on" feel to Ending Credit, and it makes me wonder if Mrs Junghwa is retiring soon. I mean, she did debut in 1993, so I couldn't be surprised.

Let me say that again - Uhm Jung Hwa debuted in 1993.

Ma'am is touching 50 years of age, and she still makes your faves look redundant.

I have to say that my absolute favorite part of Ending Credit is the bridge - when everything but the synth pad and Junghwa's voice drops out. I freaking tear up every time I listen to that part. It's just so powerful!!

A different kind of vocalist would have gone HAM with the high notes n ad libs on the final chorus, but Miss Junghwa decided to keep it cute n classy, which I appreciate. I do think she could have done a little bit more, but at the same time, it's always from one extreme to the next with these divas.

~The Video~

Ending Credit the video sees Uhm Junghwa at the premiere for what I assume is her final role. The video flits between Junghwa watching herself on screen, and Junghwa dancing about various locations of the theater, looking every bit the powerful diva she is. Ending Credit was shot, on location, at the Universal Arts Center in Seoul, which is super cool because they could have easily replicated all the various locations Junghwa filmed in at a studio. It just adds to the whole concept of the video, sis.

Junghwa's makeup in this video is very heavy (I'm pretty sure it breaks every ~rule~ for a Korean style beat), but it suits the video. It emphasizes her age, but not in a bad way (even though there's nothing wrong with looking your age); she looks like the distinguished actress that everyone aspires to be. Her styling, in general, in this video looks very '80s/'90s which only adds to the finality of the video.

Ending Credit the video is a really cool experience, because it shows off just how amazing of a performer Junghwa is. Most of the shots in this video are solo solo, and she keeps you enraptured. If there's one thing I know about this woman, it's that she O O Z E S stage presence. And even when she has dancers supporting her, your eyes stay glued to her (even though her dancers are all fine as F U C K).

Which, I mean, she's been K-Pop's Dancing Diva™ for 25 years now. You kinda have to know a thing or two about charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent to survive that long.

~The Choreography~

Lia Kim (Ending Credit's choreographer) is a fucking genius.

Uhm Junghwa is a competent dancer. She's not BoA level, but she can hold her own, okay?!?!?! And Ending Credit's routine is not overly hard or complex. The moves are somewhat physically demanding (ma'am is up, down, and all around in the first minute of the song; that shit was exhausting to watch live), but I wouldn't say this is the hardest routine I've seen in my six years of K-Pop standom.

Lia Kim is a genius, because Ending Credit's routine is straight up performance art. Ending Credit's routine emphasizes Junghwa's performance ability (like I said above, this woman oozes stage presence), and shows us exactly how she stayed on top of her peers during her peak. Junghwa looks like she's dancing for her life, but also like she's having the time of her life. If this is her "last" role, then she's gonna give it her all and more.

Ending Credit is Junghwa's second video in the Cloud Dreamer of the Nine series that uses all male backup dancers (the first being Dreamer), and idk if that's a Thing™ for her (it's hard to find older K-Pop videos), but it speaks volumes to me?!?!?! I'm so tired of this division in K-Pop where it's like, "boys dance this way, girls dance that way"; and if girls wanna be taken seriously as a dance group, they have to do more masculine styles of dance. Getting beyond the misogyny in that (which you know my nonbinary ass has a lot to speak on), it's just boring as fuck. So it's nice to see Junghwa telling the rules of K-Pop to fuck off.

~Overall and Final Thoughts~

Ending Credit scalped me bald.

Junghwa gives us a whole lot with Ending Credit, sis - the song is so so S O addicting (Primary is more powerful than we ever knew), the video is awe inspiring (and tugs on the heart strings a lil), and the routine is up there with one of the best of the year. Everything was on point. I'm really at a loss for words here, guys; if I was rating this the same way I songs in my Review Roundups, Ending.

Uhm Jung Hwa is fucking badass. She really didn't have to come back to music after she dropped her 2008 mini album D.I.S.C.O. I mean, that era was way before my time, but it's literally one of my favorite minis to just play when I want something fun. She didn't have to start doing music again, because her acting career is probably making her far more money than releasing music ever did. But she really just does not give a fuck about that shit, boo. You can tell this woman loves performing with her whole heart, and she has a team that loves pushing the boundaries of what acts like her ~should~ be doing at her age.

Junghwa is really That Bitch™, and you cannot tell me anything else. She's not overly well known in international K-Pop circles (but then again, not a lot of actual K-Pop legends are), but I highly recommend checking up on her stuff. She was playing hopscotch with her contemporaries' wigs back in the day day the way she's playing with your faves' hairlines now.

Author's Note - this is a review that I left half finished when I halted reviews last month, so I figured I'd go ahead and release it now. I had a much different review planned for today, but I think it'd do far more harm than good if I posted it now. That, and I can't really bring myself to look at it right now. I hope you enjoyed!!

How ‘Honeymoon’ is saving my life

Quick warning for this little bit of writing here: discussion of suicidal thoughts etc, being grossly emotional about B.A.P, and just generally a whole bunch of Sad Stuff. Also, this is really long 

Anyone in the Discord chat may have come across me talking about this before so I apologise if it sounds like I’m repeating myself.

For my whole life I’ve suffered with self-destructive and even suicidal impulses and thoughts. I’ts not depression, the closest we can pin it to is OCD. As a whole it hasn’t done me an awful lot a damage, but it’s not easy.

2 years ago things did get bad. I was in a difficult situation with friends, in my home, in my Uni education. The lower I got the harder it was to ignore the things my mind was telling me to do. 

I started getting into the fandom of B.A.P during this time despite having been a fan since their debut. To some degree I was probably looking for a distraction or some sort of escapism, but being among other fans brought me many friends I could talk to every day and make me feel a little bit less shit.

Then Yongguk dropped 4:44. I will say outright that this song kept me alive. Several nights I wouldn’t sleep and would just replay this song over and over while I drew all over my skin with felt tips or ripped my clothes apart to relieve the need to break something. Hearing “everything’s gonna be all right” was the way I clung onto my life like a cliff edge. 

I spent a long time not knowing who my bias was exactly but Yongguk openly discussing his mental health and being so determined to protect his members really pushed him up in the ranks. Were it not for him, I’m honestly not entirely sure if I would be alive right now. I can’t fully express how much I adore this man without writing a completely separate essay about it.

As I fell deeper down the rabbit hole that is online Baby fandom I began to crave content that was more to my taste in humour - especially since I’ve been on tumblr since 2010. I made this blog in June 2015. I figured I’d run it for maybe 4 months then abandon or delete it. It was... far more successful than I can have ever imagined and because of it I have met some exceptional people and your continued support is honestly so incredible.

 I know I act like a heartless trashbag a lot of the time but I read all your tags and treasure every kind word you guys say. This blog has honestly been one of the best spur-of-the-moment decisions I’ve made and you’ve all been so wonderful....even though I keep getting in Heated Discourse. I’m so sorry about that. 

When B.A.P returned to TS I was very mixed in my feelings, both full of anger at TS but also glad to know they’d be active again. For anyone who has, for some reason, gone through this whole blog you’ll now the whole story about how it’s been since then. Mostly dandy times.

B.A.P have been a huge part of my life for the past 2 years to the point that I got a Matoki tattooed on my side, and I’ve honestly spent a lot of money supporting these boys that I couldn’t really afford. Hell, I lived off 1 meal a day pasta and ketchup after I bought tickets for LOE London in 2016. 

I can say I have been a lot happier lately, definitely. But, you know, stuff like mental illness doesn’t clear away just because a group of talented men released some amazing music. Not even the Carnival album was going to do that. It may sound weird, but during Yongguk’s haitus i felt closer to him after that, and certainly people became more understanding and supportive of me when I discussed my panic attacks with them. I’m overflowing with happiness seeing how much better Yongguk seems these days, and I hope I’m improving too. 

Honeymoon has a lot of incredible lines in it that upon first hearing made me almost tear up. Hearing these boys who have been through much talk about how good life is, about how it’s worth pulling yourself through hard times, about how much happier they are and how their situation has improved was exactly the sort of message I needed to hear. I’ve spent a long time looping a song about how Yongguk nearly end edit all for himself and just managed to pull through, now I have a beautiful inspiring song about how fantastic and good life is and that staying alive is the best thing you can do. I would honestly put this next to ‘Praying’ by Kesha as a song to give me strength, courage and hope whenever things get too dark. It is absolutely one of my favourite songs they have ever made and it is definitely my favourite MV track they’ve released. 

It’s not been long since the song’s release, but where I was planning to add 4:44 beneath my Matoki I’m now considering adding ‘Life Is Colourful’, which I think portrays the exact message I want to tell myself every day, and make what is a very monochrome tattoo into something spectacular and beautiful that will shine my own colours and B.A.P’s. 

It may sound sad but the cold truth is I am literally staying alive because and for B.A.P. If you have any issue with this and think it’s pathetic or I need a better reason, well, you’re basically saying you’d rather I be dead than have this as an excuse to stay alive. No reason to stay alive is stupid. No matter how small, any reason to keep going is a good reason.

Anyway if you read this whole thing wow I’m impressed and I hope it wasn’t dull or depressing, but these are all my feelings and I’ve opened up in a way I’m not used to. If anyone else has similar thoughts or feelings or wants to add anything of their own experiences feel free to PM me or send an ask (request not to be posted if you want conversation but dont wanna anon) or you know talk about it wherever else you want. I hope everyone’s having a good day and I hope if you’e in a difficult place you know you’re loved, you deserve the best, and things absolutely do get better. 

Whistle to my soul

So I wanna talk about the upcoming BTS comeback song, DNA and its possible connection with previous concepts. If you've seen the teaser, then you probably saw 7 good looking guys doing suddenly some smooth moves to a whistle tune and before you realized what was happening it was over. Oh yeah, they are looking really nice for this comeback. But what I wanna talk is about the whistle as a symbol and how it can relate with previous concepts.

First, let's make clear what a whistle could symbolize: On a positive light, if done absent-minded its an expression of cheerfulness or happiness at that given moment. On another hand, it can also symbolize a call for attention and in it's more negative form it could represent an alarm or signal of danger.

That being said, let's focus on the last two meanings which are used alot through other symbols (soundwise) in previous BTS songs.

By other symbols I mean ringing bell sounds, sirens and the like. A ringing bell for instance can be heard in NO MORE DREAM as a call for attention to the youth that has no goals or dreams for their life. Similarly, you can hear a police siren in N.O. But, let's skip ahead to I NEED U cause otherwise it'll take me forever.

Btw, I advice you to read my previous post (although Jimin focused) on my interpretation connecting HYYH era until upcoming Love Yourself, since my following ideas exposed are complimentary.

So I NEED U starts with this synthetic drop like sound and as Suga's rap progresses it becomes higher pitched and it resembles more a synthetic singing/whistling bird. And well, you all know how birds play a big part in BTS MVs, so I'm not gonna go too deep in this but if we consider that "synthetic/whistling bird" = "unnatural/fake bird" then it would fit with the whole idea that in that era, they were still at a transitional point were they hadn't fully grown their own "wings" as birds that can fly, and so they were just "pretending" (check out Jimin running with spread arms in the gif above)... and thus it's a call for attention, which leads us to the whole "fake self" portrayed in Love Yourself Highlight Reel.

Forgetting about the M/V storyline though, it gives off this nostalgic cry vibe which fits with the loneliness the overall song and lyrics portray. In that sense, it's similar to Whalien52 high pitch staple sound. Let's talk about RUN though.

RUN has similar sounds to I NEED U (like other songs from the same album) but what I wanna highlight is the sound resembling a faraway police/ambulance siren. It's best heard right at the beginning (around 0:05). Storyline wise, this siren would represent an alarm or signal of danger and throughout the MV you can see various instances fitting of this meaning with Suga & Jungkook fighting, V and Rap Monster getting chased by the police, Jungkook's car accident, etc.

From an exclusive lyrics point of view, they basically talk about being chase by the truth: that (their) love was a lie and thus they run, because they're still not ready to accept it. So the sense of being chased by the truth is accentuated by that faraway sounding siren, like when a police unit turns on their siren when chasing someone. On the other hand, we can also interpret it as an ambulance siren comming to get them because they're ill from their love.

That being said, both interpretation wouldn't be too farfetched if we also apply it to the MVs storyline, as we see V actually end up in a police station in STIGMA; Jungkook in a hospital in Love Yourself HIGHLIGHT Reels; and not to mention Jimin's and J-Hope's multiple introspective hospital bed /psychiatric ward scenes in RUN itself and LIE/MAMA short films.

And speaking of the Wings Short Films, throughout the series we can clearly hear sirens and eerie whistling that work as alarm/danger symbols and overall adding to the dark tone of each member's story.

Let's jump ahead to Blood Sweat & Tears though where you can also hear a siren that progressively becomes louder. The first instance it appears is through Jungkook's part right in the beginning.

For story purposes, it works as a symbol signaling that "something is about to happen". That "something" being the awakening/revelation that each of the members experience throughout the MV. Lyrics wise, that "something" is their surrendering to temptation. And speaking of temptation, alternatively that siren could be interpreted as the mythological creature "siren's voice" enchanting them. On that note, sirens were mostly depicted as a woman with bird like features that with a very sweetly voice would lull sailors to sleep and then kill them. And their name origin my come from the word "bind" in greek. Sounds familiar?

"My blood sweat & tears, my last dance take them all. My cold breath, take it away [...] Sweeter than sweet/ and Chocolate wings but your wings are those of a devil"

And the Japanese ver.: "Tie me up already baby [...] Please end it with your own hands"

Skipping further ahead into Spring Day, in the MV we can hear the departure bell for their "train of thought" which's destination is probably "where did things went wrong?" But speaking about the song itself, during practically the whole song you can hear this synthetic chord progression (is that what you call it?) Personally it was jarring to my ears at first, it's kinda like another kind of modulated siren (sorry I don't know how else to describe it). Anyway, it keeps repeating like how they keep going in circles inside their thoughts. This applies both lyrically (as RM mentions it in his part, and because of the persisting longing expressed in the hook) and visually through the members moving across different settings with each door they cross. Also, in the mv, towards the MV we can listen and see a train passing before Jungkook which could symbolize how his "train of thought" changed lanes and is no longer in a vicious closed circuit. Such change is reflected in the MV when they get off the train and lyrically in the last hook when they reach a decision (to meet on spring day) instead of just lamenting and wondering like previously.

Last stop before our final destination is NOT TODAY. For this one, you can listen right before Suga's rap a high pitch sound that fades away similar to when you have the sensation of a buzzing/ringing/beeping sound in your ears. This condition is called a tinnitus and according to google there's various causes but for storyline purposes, the ones fitting are:

-Natural aging (we see them all transition into adults)

-Certain drugs (J-hope in I need u/Mama/BST jp ver)

-When fainting (I Need U/ Save me: "save me before I fall" / Lie / Love yourself reel 3) Furthermore, it mentions drinking, smoking and stress can worsen the symptoms. In that sense, the ringing sound would represent a reminder of their "injuries and hardships" but since the sound clears out then they're "overcoming it" and Suga's rap right after matches really well with this interpretation. He goes: "No, not today, Today's too good to let it end"

So, back to my original reason for this post: the whistle in upcomming DNA. The teaser might've made it look to some that it might be unrelated to previous concepts. But personally I see a storyline progress throughout all of BTS concepts, it's just that they're just not necessarily in order and because they tend to focus more on the feelings rather than the actual events that cause them, people tend to find it confusing because they concentrate more on trying to understand the order of events rather than the feelings that are being portrayed.

But getting back on topic, recapping: in I need U there was a "synthetic whistle" which symbolized "fake love /un mature birds". Fast forward to DNA, and this time the whistle might be a representation of "real love" hearing how it's a natural sound and also holding a more positive meaning compare to previous similar types of sounds. And if we take into consideration the song title, the song could be about how "this love" defines each of them their uniqueness and/or how it's intrinsically part of them that they cannot change, in other words "unconditional".

Or I could be totally wrong and it's really just about Daegu's New Agust d (DNA) lamb skewers shop opening while Hobbie Eats Ramyeon(HER).

No, but seriously no matter whatever it turns out to be I can't wait for it. Anyway, this has been a long post of many ideas I've had for a while. Take note I don't have any formal knowledge in music nor a great hearing, so all this rambling is very subjective. So the way I described the sounds might be totally different for you, and they're not necessarily and most likely not deliberately produced that way by BTS and BigHit for the reasons stated above. So yeah, don't take it too seriously either. For me interpretations/theories are fun not because of deciphering out every single thing of what's happening and what the creator's view was but figuring out what it represents to myself.

Quick edit:

Did you all listen to the second teaser? There's that same growing siren from BST and some high fashion/classy vibes soundwise. There's some beeping sounds resembling HYYH era (check RUN and Dead Leaves for instance) and the experimental sounds in BEGIN. Visually too it looks very clean with backgrounds aesthetics similar to the wings short films. Well that's it for now, gotta get back to work.

[TRANS/MAGAZINE] Jelly Magazine - EXO-CBX for July Issue 2017 To view as HQ scans, click here and zoom in!

source: x translator: fai please take out our translations with full credit only!

To read as text only, keep reading!

EXO-CBX ARRIVES AT JELLY!! Korea’s popular idol group EXO’s first unit, EXO-CBX has come to JELLY to celebrate their Japanese debut! The members look cool in their solo shots, but when they’re complete as 3, the atmosphere become exciting (laughs). Bringing you plenty of EXO-CBX’s natural selves across 10 pages ♡ EXO-CBX PROFILE The first subunit of the 2012 debuted Korean idol group EXO, with Chen, Baekhyun and Xiumin. Debuted in Korea in 2016 with first mini album 「Hey Mama!」. Getting close to everyone around the world with their pop and colourful sounds. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EACH OTHER!? Understanding the three's relationship! Since this is their first appearance, let's have them talk about their characters. No holding back! Q. Between the three of you, which member is the most reliable? B & C: Our eldest, Xiumin! X: I’ll say me too (laughs). B: Xiumin knows a lot of delicious shops so our menu is always decided smoothly, and he always go last to choose what he will eat (t/n: letting JD and BH choose first). Q. Between the three of you, who do you think is the coolest and manliest? X: I think it’s me. C: I think it’s me! B: No no, it’s me! ALL: Hahahaha (laughs). B: I’m cool when I’m playing games! C: Xiumin’s firmness when making decisions is manly. X: That’s right! B: And Xiumin carefully plans on his own, and he acts on (his plans), so I think that’s very manly and adult-like. Chen also can do a lot of things on his own, so that is manly and cool. C: Well, I like doing things on my own than having someone doing it for me. X: Chen has the drive to challenge everything! Q. 「Actually… I think this side about this member is cute!」 Please tell us your thoughts! B: Xiumin keeps a cat, and he’s very smitten with his cat! I don’t know if Xiumin is keeping the cat or if the cat is keeping Xiumin (laughs). Since he has started raising his cat, he has never gone out of the house, and I think the fact that he spends his whole day tending to his cat is very cute. X: For me, it’s when Baekhyun uses casual speech with me. (When he does this) He says 「Yah!」 and drops honorifics, but I think that’s cute (laughs). B: Of course, those are expressions of closeness! X: Chen has one too! Chen’s butt is really cute (laughs). When he steps out of the shower, it makes me want to hit (his butt) (laughs). His butt is round and perky. B & C: (roaring laughter) X: Sometimes, I touch it (laughs). B: His butt is round like an apple. X & B: (looks at Chen) C: Waaaee~e (laughs)! B: Please show us a bit (laughs). C: No, no (embarrassed laugh), but even I think my butt is my charm (laughs)! Q: Between the three of you, which member cries the easiest? B: I don’t think the three of us cry that easily. C: Even in EXO, the three of us are the hardest to cry, but the one who has shown the most tears since debut is definitely Baekhyun. He cried during the award show (t/n: 2016 Melon Music Awards). B: Also, I cried when I watched D.O.’s movie 『My Annoying Brother』, so I thought of sending D.O. a selfie of me crying (laughs). Q. Please say a few things about each other’s personality! C: Xiumin is the eldest, even in EXO, so he’s 「A VERY RELIABLE PRESENCE」. X: Baekhyun is 「A HAPPY VIRUS」 that makes everyone around him have fun. He picks up skills very easily, and he’s good at everything except for sports (laughs). B: Hahahaha (laughs). But I can snowboard, and I can play billiards! C: But you cannot even run. When he runs, his form is weird and very clumsy (laughs). B: I had a running scene for a photoshoot before, and Xiumin and Chen said to me, 「You’ve never ran before in your entire life, have you?」 and I was found out (laughs). X & C: (roaring laughter) X: But he’s good at games, singing, and even impressions. If Baekhyun is there, it becomes really fun, so he’s a presence that EXO cannot be without. C: I think that EXO would probably be a boring group if Baekhyun wasn’t here. B: Yes, yes, I agree (laughs). Okay, so I will introduce Chen. Chen is 「A PERSON WHO IS VERY GOOD AT SINGING AND CAN SING HIGH NOTES EFFORTLESSLY」 「His butt is firm and cute ♡」, personality-wise, he is very 「gentle and passionate」. I cannot express him with just a few words (laughs)! Even when he laughs, he gives off a warm feeling like a father looking at his son or his daughter, so I think he will be a good father in the future. Also, no matter what clothes he’s wearing, he wears it stylishly with his own personality. X & C: Woo~w! (claps) C: I’m so happy! Q. 「I want this member to fix this!」 Please expose your thoughts on the members! X: Me! It’s about Baekhyun! B: I knew it was about me… (laughs) X: I want Baekhyun to wake up earlier. B: I usually get ready 15 minutes before we have to go. However, I take 20 minutes to get ready. X: So everyone has to wait for him for 5 minutes (laughs). It’s not that he cannot wake up, it’s that he doesn’t wake up. C: He says ‘I will wake up!’ with determination, but he doesn’t wake up (laughs). B: Okay, then I have something to say too! Actually, these two are very bad at billiards. But recently, they’ve been getting better and better so I DON’T WANT THEM TO GET ANY BETTER AFTERWARDS!! X & C: Oooooh (laughs)! C: I don’t have anything in particular. I’ve gotten used to the members now. X: So kind~ ♪ C: But really, the thing about Xiumin’s billiard ability getting stronger and stronger is true. X: (pointing at Chen) I WILL BEAT YOU! C: No, I think I’m better (laughs)! Q. Between the three of you, which member do you think has the most gag sense? X & C: BAEKHYUN! B: Yeah, it’s me (laughs). C: Xiumin worked very hard and now, he became funnier, but I feel like he doesn’t match my sense of humor. X & B: Ahahaha (laughs). B: Sometimes, the things I think of are really funny, even I go 「Wow~ How can I think up of such funny things」 and admire myself (laughs). I’m surprised at my (funny) sense. I must have been born with it~ ♪ C: Ahahaha (laughs). X: But (Baekhyun’s sense) has one downside, if Baekhyun talks too recklessly, then I’ll hold the back of his neck and stop him (laughs). ALL: (roaring laughter) SOLO INTERVIEW Q. Not as EXO, but as EXO-CBX, what kind of charms do you want to show? C: From the start, EXO-CBX is a unit that was created with the concept of being “easily enjoyable”. I think EXO has a cool, mysterious image but as EXO-CBX, we want to have that relatable, familiar presence of your regular boy-next-door or your older brothers, so I hope we can become closer! B: I think we have more relatability than EXO. Towards our fans and also to the people who only knew of us, I hope they can get the feeling of being friends with us. X: As EXO, (the image that) we show puts emphasis on strength and coolness. But as EXO-CBX, while coolness is still a plus, we want to show our cheerfulness and the side of us that’s having fun. To say more on this, I want us and our fans to get excited and have fun together! Q. Your debut mini album [GIRLS], what kind of album is it? C: Because there’s a lot of up tempo and addictive songs, so maybe an album that is easy to listen to? Please do listen to it a lot~! Even the MV was made by the Japanese staffs, so I hope you can pay attention to it. B: It’s an album that was created with the thought of being a present from us! In our song 「Ka-CHING!」, there is this line 「Diamonds, dresses, cars… that’s not the limit」, even so, (in the MV) we looked like “rich guys with lots of money”, didn’t we (laughs)? But the song is all about the message of 「Money is not everything」. Recording a Japanese song with the three of us is a new experience for me, and I had lots of fun! X: I really like our title track 『Ka-CHING!』. Musically, it is excellent and even the choreography is fun and unique. It gives off a very sophisticated feel, and you can see a new side to us, so I believe that all of you will like it! Of course, (songs) aside from 『Ka-CHING!』, each has their own message, so I hope you could listen to it and receive the messages that we want to tell to all (our female fans). Q. Recently, what kind of thing do you enjoy doing most? C: Aside from preparing for our album, personally, I’ve been having singing and dancing practice since the year started, so I enjoy doing those the most. For singing, I’ve been practicing EXO’s songs and also other artists’ songs. But hip-hop songs, those are still difficult (to sing)… (laughs). B: Recently, I’ve had a new interest, which is snowboarding! Going snowboarding with Chanyeol and returning to the lodge and talking about a lot of things at night, that was very fun. Am I a pro!? I only started recently, but since it looks like I’m getting better at it really quickly, I could become the 'the star everyone is waiting for' (laughs). X: Playing billiards with Baekhyun and Chen and also with the other members, that is the most fun. But since I always lose, I have to pay all the game fees…. (cries). The members are all good, but the best amongst us is D.O and after him, Baekhyun is good too. Q. Please tell us of any new Japanese phrases that you have learned recently. C: 「(In Japanese) There’s still a long way to go.」 I learned this (laughs). Japanese is difficult~! The three of us have been getting together and learning Japanese by asking our manager who is good at Japanese to teach us. B: 「(In Japanese) (I’m) taking it (clothes) off」…Eii, I’m not saying anything weird (laughs)! In photoshoots, we had to put on and take off a lot of different (sets of) clothes, so this phrase just stuck in my head. I think this (phrase) gets used often, even amongst our stylist. Q. Please teach us any Korean phrases you frequently use as of late (t/n: マイブーム is slang for something you’re into, like trends; in this case, of the Korean language). C: Hmm.. (thinks for a while), I can’t think of one in particular. But I’m sure Baekhyun will know some (laughs)? B: It’s not a phrase, but more of a reaction. When you’re trying to make people laugh, but they didn’t get your joke, tilt your head sideways, hit your hand on your forehead and say 「A~ah↓」. With this action, you can end any boring conversation (laughs). Q. What food do you like most recently? C: I’m eating a lot of delicious food, but the yakitori (grilled skewered chicken) I ate with Xiumin and Baekhyun yesterday was very good! Eating while drinking sake (rice-wine, Japanese alcohol), it was the best! B: The yakiniku (grilled meat) I ate with Xiumin and Chen yesterday! Afterwards, I bought a cold, hard bagel with cream cheese on it at a coffee shop and ate it while drinking beer. It was very delicious! I really recommend it! X: Sushi is delicious! But the sushi I ate was in Korea, so this time with our activities in Japan increasing, I want to try real sushi! Eel and salmon are my favourites. Q. What kind of women’s fashion do you find cute? C: Before this interview, I read JELLY, there were a lot of fashion that I like and I thought that they all looked very cute. I think casual styles and street fashion look good on girls. (While pointing at the front cover of JELLY April edition) Like these clothes here, a loose long-sleeved T-shirt with the logo on the side of the sleeve, I like those kinds of fashion! B: As long as the fashion fits the person’s style, I think it’s already fine. Wearing denim is a stylish fashion that I find cute. Before this, I used to like street fashion, but recently I like simpler fashions like matching something with skinny jeans. X: I don’t pay as much attention to fashion as Baekhyun and Chen, so I don’t know that well, but any kind of fashion, if the girl likes it, then it’s OK! But, if I were to give a certain style that I like... then maybe skirts or dresses, a more feminine fashion is nice. Q. What kind of fashion are you into nowadays? C: For me, I really like hoodies. I’m really into comfortable, loose styles, like (wearing) oversized tops with hoods. B: Something that doesn’t look coordinated, but is actually coordinated… Something that doesn’t look like it was thought out, but if you look closely, it looks cool… I like those kinds of fashion! So, just T-shirts underneath a jacket, matching it with denim (pants) underneath, just a casual and chic vibe is nice. X: I like loose and oversized clothes with hoodies. Because I’m not tall, I always fuss over sizes so that I look well-balanced! Q. Please tell us of anything you recently bought. C: I recently bought NIKE sneakers! I like it, and it was very comfortable to put on. I absolutely love sneakers, so I just bought it without thinking (laughs). B: Snowboarding wear that I bought together with Chanyeol. Up until now, I’ve gone snowboarding three times, but I bought 2 snowboarding wears. People ask me 「Do you plan to wear new clothes every time you go?」, because normal beginners usually go for one set that would be good for the whole season (laughs). For me, I place importance in my clothes, so I want to go for appearances that make me look like a pro, and (I am) not outdone by anybody! Because I don’t want to only go down the (ski) slope, I want to look cool doing so (laughs). X: I bought sportswear and sports sneakers! I normally like sporty fashions with clothes that I can wear comfortably, so I have lots of sportswear. Even so, I still buy more of them (laughs). I always wear (the clothes) and go for practice! Q. What kind of picture did you take on your phone recently? C: Umm… (pulls out his smartphone and pretends to take a picture with Xiumin next to him) It’s this! (referring to the ‘picture’ with Xiumin)… that would be a lie (laughs). I think it was a picture at the skiing area at a resort I went to for work two months ago. I’m normally not the type to take pictures, but at that time, to remember the background of the skiing area, I took a selfie. B: When I was dyeing my hair, I took a picture of myself to make sure. That was the most recent picture. I really like the orange colour I have now. X: I’m shy when I have to take pictures of myself and I’m bad at it too, so I rarely take any selfies. But recently, I took a picture of only my face to show my newly dyed hair to my manager (laughs). I’ve been asked why I always dye my hair showy/bright colours, but there are 3 points to this. Firstly, I want to try colours that I have never used to dye my hair before. Secondly, I think of whether it fits with the album concept and thirdly, I think of whether it will suit me and decide from there. Q. How do you spend your vacation days lately? C: Recently, I’m always in the studio or the practice room, but I have an ideal scenario on how to spend my vacation day. That is, I want to go to the cinema and watch everything they have on that day! I have watched two movies consecutively before this, and it was very fun. I really like the 「X-MEN」 series, so now I want to watch 「LOGAN」! X: I don’t normally go out on my vacation days, so usually I just stay at home. I watch TV shows and movies, also I always play with my cat. I’m already busy just tending to my cat (laughs). MESSAGE FROM EXO-CBX C: The activity in Japan that I really wanted to do... 「Finally I get to do it!」 so I’m very excited! We released CDs in Japan as EXO, but we didn’t get to do a lot of activities (in Japan), so this time with EXO-CBX’s activities, I’m anticipating more meetings with our Japanese fans. We’ll work hard so we can meet all of you more, so please take care of us! B: As EXO, we couldn’t really meet with our Japanese fans, so debuting as EXO-CBX and knowing that we get to have more meetings with fans, it makes me happy and immediately, I get excited! We worked hard as EXO, but we as EXO-CBX are still rookies so I want to work harder to become closer with the fans and grow together with them. Please watch over us! X: I’ve always thought that it is not enough to meet with all of you just through EXO’s activities. Because of that, when we were set to debut in Japan as EXO-CBX, I became happy knowing that we’ll get to meet (the fans) more frequently! To show our new colour as EXO-CBX, we prepared a lot and worked hard from zero so please do anticipate a lot, okay? To have fun together with our fans, we’re also working hard to learn Japanese!

You have great taste in music! I really like R&B-style songs too! My playlist is so long bc whenever I hear a kpop song I like, I just it to the playlist rather than my library. Pdx101 is the first (and only) survival type show I've seen, it was simultaneously great and awful, but I'm glad I watched it. Yeah, evil editing can be annoying and it's unnecessary, I'm more interested in watching the performances and seeing them put them together and having fun -carat anon 1/?

I've heard of Immortal Songs, but I haven't watched it, I've seen clips where svt was on it tho. Being indecisive is something I can honestly relate to. I'm sure you'll make the right decision regarding the carat bong tho. I like talking to you too, it's fun! We seem to have quite a bit in common. Also, nope I'm a ghost, I died twice, after both MV teasers, this comeback is gonna slap me with a ton of bricks. Oh I've heard of Vincent Blue I think! I saw him on Youtube, I think he did a cover of something that I really liked, I think Jimin Park was also in the video maybe. I'll definitely give it a listen! Lmao I could totally see Seokmin being like "let's walk!" and I'd be like, "seriously? do we have to?" but then he'd make some cute puppy dog face and I'd cave. Hmmm I'm not sure if Shua would've watched YOI, I haven't seen it either, I'd rather watch something like BNHA with him Okay Sims is so good! That was one of my favourite things to do with my friends when I was younger, playing Sims alone is fun, but with other people, it's a whole different experience. I feel like Wonwoo would enjoy it and find it really amusing. YES OMG THE SECOND TEASER, I'M EVEN LESS READY NOW. LIKE ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME? Oh that must've been really hard on you, I got into kpop around that time so tbh it felt weird to get into SHINee plus I don't really stan older gen groups. But I really like Key's solo debut! Honestly that whole album is so good. Omg I love Monsta X! I got to see them in concert last month, it was honestly the best experience I've ever had, they're unbelievable on stage. Who's your bias? Mine's Jooheon. I stan a lot of groups, and listen to a whole lot more, maybe I have a problem lmao, but svt are my ults. I love that you went with dog breeds, they all fit so well! You did a good job for such a difficult question haha. I had fun looking up pics of those dog breeds since I haven't heard of some of them. Is it safe to assume you prefer dogs over cats or are you an animal lover who loves all animals? What's your favourite animal outside of those? Oh Anne! My name spelt backwards is Anne J. I'll let you figure that out lmao. We're getting close to the reveal now? When is it supposed to be again? -carat anon 

1. Ahh thanks!! R&B just hits different LOL. I think it really allows for singers to show off their voices and technical talent. Def def def check out Vincent Blue tho! 

2. Same with the whole drama and evil editing thing. Honestly the only reason I started watching Under 19 was because I was really bored and was interested in how some of the boys would perform but it started to get kinda dramatic with guys leaving and getting kicked out and blah blah blah so I tend to stick with other kinds of entertainment shows.

3. I literally just saw the second teaser and I’m gonna have to agree with you on this one, I’m dead too. Don’t even know how I made it this far as a carat without actually dying from shock from how freaking amazing they are. Hit is gonna be such a frickin bop. DROP IT ALREADY YOU COWARDS

4. oh YUP Seokmin could ask me to do anything and I’d do it willingly, no questions asked. I’m also definitely the friend in my group that insists that we can walk no matter the distance so he wouldn’t even have to try that hard with the puppy face but let’s be real I’d fake being annoyed about it so he’d give me the puppy eyes LOL

4. Ooh yes BNHA!! Or maybe even like SNK, Tokyo Ghoul, Death Parade...or we could tackle having a Naruto marathon LOL. I was caught up with Naruto at one point but then I stopped watching it and now I’m totally lost again hahaha. I also started rewatching One Piece last summer and got to episode 400 something...maybe I’ll get back on that again,,,

5. Man my parents only let me play educational computer games when I was younger so the only experience I have with sims is watching other people play! I could see the appeal tho

6. Yea, Jonghyun’s death was something that really made me stop and think about how life can be so uncertain. It was really rough bc he was one of my biases and his funeral was on my birthday that year too and idk I kinda just didn’t really know how to continue being a fan of theirs after that. But like I said, I recently got back into them and just relish the fact that his voice has been immortalized through their older songs :’)

7. DAMN HOW Y’ALL BE AFFORDING KPOP CONCERT TICKETS?? I know someone that’s gonna be seeing Svt in Seoul for Ode To You and I’m over here with my broke ass tryna figure out how to save for if they ever come to the states sdlkfjsdjflsdkfjsldkf 

8. My bias is Hyungwon bc he’s like...a living meme. There’s that one gif of him sipping his starbucks and looking all shady and it makes me laugh bc I’ve totally done the same thing before and actually do it pretty frequently LMAO. But I also really like Shownu. Have you watched his mukbang series with M2??? That show got me through the last few weeks of college I swear to god, and especially the eps where Wonho was a guest star had me DEAD 

9. Yea I don’t like actively stan a lot of groups but listen to a bunch here and there so I get what you mean! I guess for a while I was really into SNSD but it never got to the point that I’d say I was a stan. Svt and SHINee will always be my true loves (though yea Monsta X is creeping up there too)

10. HAHA THANK U I picked dog breeds bc I was gonna do animals but I feel like that’d get boring bc like everyone says Jun and Woo are like cats, Hoshi calls himself a tiger and ppl think he’s a hamster, Mingyu is a puppy, etc. So I figured since I love dogs a lot and I also love svt a lot....why not combine the two lolol

11. I do love both dogs and cats (and all other animals) but if I had to only choose one to have as a pet I’d go with a dog for sure!! They’re just,,,so pure,,,precious BABIES. My favorite dog breed is probably the samoyed! I love that they have those cute smiles. Just thinking about it makes my heart melt :’) But other than dogs, I had a phase where I was SUPER into pandas. I think part of it was that I identified with having really bad dark circles and always being tired LOL. Lowkey I still am obsessed with them but you can’t pet pandas soooooooo...

12. So...Jenna? Unless I’m somehow a dumbass? LOL

We really do seem to have a lot in common, so I’m excited for the reveal! If I remember correctly, it’s on the day that Hit gets dropped heh 

But also with the whole carat bong thing,,,I heard they might not be selling V1 anymore???? So???? I might be forced to buy V2???? idk man idk 

Just realized I haven’t had my Thoughts on the Walls vid yet!!

First off, Louis looks GOOD in this one. The hair! The clothes! Excellent excellent styling, brings out the best of him

Interesting use of location, effectively paradoxical, and I liked the mirror/door/burning motifs

That being said there are some OBVIOUS visual allusions which are Interesting Choices

Let’s start with Oasis Live Forever because it’s the most straight forward

Like cmon we all know he did that bc It’s Cool, yeah?

He wrote a song called Walls that’s a musical tribute to Oasis and picked one of their most memorable images, guy on a wall. I saw that in the teaser and thought “Lol, he’s really learning into the vanity project nature of this whole endeavor ain’t he?”

I say this in love, if I had a million dollars to make a music video I’d make it nothing but Cool Shots And References too

I mean looking at Live Forever, lyrically there are some interesting parallels and connections to be drawn, but lbr

Which brings us to the Eyes Wide Shut stuff

INTERESTING CHOICE

I mean obviously there’s a lot of potential interpretations to EWS, but I think the MV is pulling off the surface: sex, drugs, secrecy in the absurd, and corrupt wealth

Which is some interesting and counterintuitive imagery to pair with the otherwise pretty straight forward lyrics!

I can’t talk about this without jumping to The Band Stuff

OH BOY

First of all I heard Louis had members of his new band pose as the 1D guys? Which is Big If True

Second of all WHAT a verse to put the band imagery over “So this one is a thank you for what you did to me/why is it that thank yous are so often bittersweet/I just hope I see you one day and you say to me oh oh” like DAMN MM

There’s some sincerity there- Louis has never been anything but grateful for 1D and the opportunities it gave him, and his affection for the others. But like, the OTHER imagery this pairs with- there HAS to be a little sarcasm?

Because Louis was the BOSS 1D was his band he LOVED that group, and he has said over and over he didn’t want to break up the band. So there seems to be a little “Thanks for breaking up the band you assholes, thanks for giving me the chance to go solo you fuckers”

I’m living for this btw

It’s also interesting he used OT5 imagery when he’s often been OT4 in interviews

I think he intentionally gives songs double meanings- not one being more correct than another, but some natural connections

I really do think his relationship with Eleanor is inextricably linked with the band in his mind, because they mirrored each other so perfectly- he and El started dating right as they dropped WMYB, and made it official just before the first tour, things went downhill with El as the band got strained and El and Zayn left Louis/the band in rapid succession, so I think when Louis writes autobiographically about El, it’s natural for 1D references to work in that frame, and I think he intentionally includes some ambiguity for fans, since he knows 1D is so central to their experience of him, and is more accessible than an often private relationship

(insert my ongoing joke ‘walls is a zouis concept album’ here)

I think it’s time to address the Lights Up reference

BOLD MOVE TOMLINSON

There’s no fucking way that’s not a direct reference and my initial reaction was “I can’t BELIEVE he just did that!”

Also interesting- most fans I’ve seen have interpreted the Lights Up orgy scene as being about Harry’s ambivalent relationship with fame- that on the one hand he really enjoys it and loves being the center of adulation but on the other it’s dirty and crushing and grasping and overwhelming and he wants to bust out of there and ride away into the sunset. I’ve also seen some tie drugs into it, usually in the “fame is a drug” kind of way

So Louis recreating that scene with the EWS imagery seems like a hot and unambiguously negative take, and I would LOVE to know more about what he wanted to say with those shots

I read it as shade- that Harry’s being swallowed up in drugs in sex, that his desire for a secret private life leads to a nonsensical mask

I mean Louis’ strident insistamce that he’s being honest and speaking the truth about his feelings and his life is such a consistent feature of his public statements, and his use of the EWS imagery contrasts so strikingly with that

And of course obviously the 1D stuff is headline bait, but it’s very tasteful and interestingly done, so I enjoyed it

Curious about the ending which is why I’m curious if his current band members really were the 1D body doubles- it makes him rejoining the line up read differently, especially since he’s said he has a 5 album plan and this one is easing fans out of his 1D style into his new stuff

We Will See!!!

In short beautiful song, beautiful video, beautiful boy