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anghraine · 2 years

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“What a delightful library you have at Pemberley, Mr Darcy!”

“It ought to be good,” he replied, “it has been the work of many generations.”

“And then you have added so much to it yourself, you are always buying books.”

“I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these.”

This conversation is intriguing because, as is often the case in P&P, there is so little narrative framing or comment that you have to make quite a few assumptions based on how you read the characters. We don’t even hear Elizabeth’s reaction to this interchange and don’t know how she takes it (though when Darcy later tries to talk to her about books, she’s sure that their tastes are so wildly different that they won’t have anything to talk about).

In any case, both fans and critics have come away with a lot of different interpretations of Darcy’s book-buying sprees and, in particular, what he means by “such days as these.”

I just read an article that dismissively characterized it as a stuffy civilization-is-falling-down-around-us-in-these-degenerate-times thing showing the basic conservatism of his mindset, and while that article was particularly hostile, it’s a pretty common reading. And you can read it that way, but frankly, it doesn’t seem the most natural reading in the context of either the scene or his overall characterization.

Darcy is repeatedly associated with books and reading and general intellectualism. The Pemberley library links his family pride and his sense of legacy with his personal inclinations—as an individual, he’s bookish, clever, and fairly cerebral. He reads, he buys new books, he enjoys philosophical debates, his response to Elizabeth’s assertion of their different tastes in books is “cool, then we can argue about them :D”, he encourages his teenage sister’s artistic interests and defends her disciplined approach to them when she’s not even there, he collects fine and apparently borderline-incomprehensible paintings, he’s dismissive about the expected accomplishments of upper-class women in favor of reading (partly bc Elizabeth has been reading, but it’s not surprising that a man responsible from age 23 for the education of a young girl has Thoughts on the ongoing female education debates of the time).

All of this is to say that Darcy is engaged with what was then contemporary culture and discourse. This is especially the case if you go with the time of his creation, 1796, but it doesn’t make a huge difference because these debates were still ongoing in the 1810s, and he rarely refers to specific figures and instead prefers more generally familiar concepts and arguments (or chooses to rely on those in conversation with women), and in any case, the English artistic movements of the 1810s owed a lot to those of the late eighteenth century.

And a big eighteenth-century debate was about the merits of modern art, especially literature, compared to ancient art. Historically, there was a lot of deference in English literature to ancient models and dictates, and controversy over newer forms like the novel (in English) but also in poetry and drama and essays. To some people, it seemed like art was going horribly astray by diverging from the ancients (despite the continuing strong influence of Classicism). Others thought the artistic movements of the time were fucking awesome valuable and important, which is generally Austen’s position (most famously in the defense of the novel in NA).

So when Darcy speaks of “such days as these,” I don’t think this is coming from snooty disengagement from the current literary zeitgeist, but rather, the reverse. He’s seeing all these ideas being hotly debated in various essays and treatises, and the English novel taking modern form, and poetry undergoing changes that will only become more drastic, etc etc, and thinks—this is important. Anybody with a family library should be adding the literature that’s coming out at this time.

TL;DR I think Darcy has an affinity for modern art/literature/culture in any case, but also, is so convinced of the importance of the literary “moment” he’s living in that he thinks he’d basically be shaming his ancestors if he didn’t include it in the collection that he’ll pass down to the next generation as it was passed to him.

#it's not just that people like him need to maintain family libraries with what's currently out there #but that he thinks that what's happening /right now/ is a really big deal that needs to be added for its own sake #i find it a bit weird that this reading seems unusual but some people are very committed to stuffy conservative darcy so #i do go with the c. 1796 setting which makes this fairly funny... lyrical ballads is coming out in two years #and darcy can't know that! it's just. something is going on! clearly! what is the point of being rich if you don't preserve this stuff???#anghraine babbles #austen blogging #austen fanwank #lady anne blogging #anghraine's meta #fitzwilliam darcy #pride and prejudice #jane austen #tangentially: this is kind of associated in my head with how the preceding darcy-like characters are pretty much all 18th century #elizabeth has this whole beatrice/rosalind legacy and the debt to much ado about nothing is obvious #but darcy isn't like benedick. he's like... lord orville if he were interesting.#so he's a fairly distinctly /modern/ man in the original context where he's often now seen as a quintessential/old-fashioned figure #and it makes sense that he would have a lot of affinity with modern culture where elizabeth is more detached

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raayllum · 2 years

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So Fake Rayla

Otherwise known as “Stella is cute and I don’t trust her within an inch of my life” + other various thoughts about whether or not the initial Rayla reuniting with Callum scene features a real Rayla or a very convincing Rayla illusion.

First up: evidence that the Rayla we see in the first clip is real.

The first is that her updated look is consistent with a clip later in the trailer (both blades, braid and bun, general personality) and that we know Rayla has a tendency towards both 1) adopting strays and 2) having a soft spot for animals. It’s small, but we see her at the funeral they hold for Ibis at the Storm Spire with Stella still on her shoulder

Another point in Rayla being real is that, if she isn’t, they’ll have to very careful as to how they handle the reunion (and I think perhaps by the reunion itself we’ll know the truth or not). They won’t want to waste emotional reactions, particularly if Callum airs a lot of his hurt, as it can feel cheapened (for ex: illusion Viren worked in 3x09 because Soren being willing to kill him permanently changed his and Claudia’s relationship, so it didn’t feel like a cop out. Here, there wouldn’t be something ‘real’ to ground it except Callum processing his anger etc. in ways Rayla herself would never get to see). So again, we’ll have to see how it plays out.

Rayla has also always wanted to come back to Katolis, she just felt she was unable to. I don’t find it hard to believe that upon keeping her word and feeling like she’d completed her mission, she would high tail it back to Katolis and be pretty thrilled to get to come back and hopefully reunite with the boys. The look of love on her face certainly fits, even if both their reactions have clearly been trimmed down and edited, and the first look itself will be much longer (TDP loves its micro-expressions after all). Twitter gave us a glimpse at another one of Rayla’s expressions from this scene, as we know it’ll be emotional no matter what

We also know that the Cube only ever glows for one primal at a time. It doesn’t always glow when Callum picks it up (hence his escapades in early 3x02 seeing all the things that do glow) and it glows brightly when it’s around Rayla’s moon opal in 3x08, or with the fish in 1x05 even though Bait, a Sun prima creature, is also in the boat. So the Star primal glowing rather than the Moon primal doesn’t mean she’s an illusion, the Cube only ever glows for one source at a time, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary.

So there’s really only two issues in terms of characterization and narrative to consider that makes her returning seemingly so soon in the season (before the mid-way point and of her own accord) feel decidedly off

1) Rayla set out determined to personally kill Viren once and for all. We know that she was adamant that she’d find him alive and have to take him out. Post-TTM, Rayla wasn’t even looking for a body anymore. She thought she’d have to make one. But we know there’s no way that happened, as Claudia has revived Viren and been safe guarding the body all this time. At first I thought perhaps Rayla had found the empty cocoon perhaps once Claudia and co. had exited the cave and that had been enough to convince her, but I realized it probably wouldn’t be. After all, seeing the cocoon being empty would probably horrify her, as she would just assume that whatever Viren was had gotten out and was walking around. And Rayla never gives up on anything, unless she finds a new mission, but considering she thought the world and Callum’s life was at stake, what would make her divert course without trying to handle the problem on her own (like always) to continue protecting the boys?

2) If they do reunite with Rayla coming back of her won accord, then what was the Narrative Point of her leaving? It means she’s learned a thing or two about self worth and has back home, but again: only under the condition of completing her mission, even though she needs to learn it would be 100% okay to come home ‘a failure,’ to come home ‘empty handed.’ The later scene of Callum cradling her sword offers a path forward, as it would mean Rayla being self-sacrificial one last time or being forcefully torn away from her swords. This means her absence would be justified narratively by Callum perhaps reaching an epiphany, or justification, of doing anything to get her back. This would provide the self worth lesson Rayla needs to have (why is her life worth less than Callum’s to her, after all, who’s always wanted to be together or not at all?) and the background for Callum along the lines of “I’ve lost her / lived without her once. I can’t - I won’t go through that again.” We reach the same end point, but with a less isolated middle.

Because narratively with her absence, something has gotta give, and it can’t be wholly positive, and this is still a hurdle their relationship needs to jump. Rayla needs to realize she was horribly wrong to leave, but she can’t do it that by 1) returning on her own and 2) likely only returning because she thinks she successfully completed her mission, which would only reaffirm her unhealthy beliefs more.

Maybe she hasn’t succeeded at her mission, but I think that may require seeing more of her early on and too big a character arc to be crammed into a small episode space to watch Rayla “I failed and am therefore awful” of the Silvergrove realize that failing doesn’t mean she deserves to be rejected or shunned or believe terrible things about herself.

Perhaps Rayla with her small Star primal creature helps Callum learn about the Cube and Mirror. Maybe he still uses it as a distraction to not have to deal with all the big feelings between them. Maybe she only comes back to Katolis later on in the season then we think (say around end of 4x05 rather than end of 4x03).

As long as 1) Rayla can offer a reasonable explanation for why she’s come back and 2) her absence has a strong emotional narrative tie, then her coming back so early makes sense, because it’s providing context for later decisions rather than driving the narrative directly now perhaps the way we thought.

But now onto the more interesting side of things in way (that will also be hysterical in retrospect to look back on if we’re way off base) ...

Evidence that Rayla Isn’t Real

And why I’ll extend that one step further, because remember how I said there’s a shot of Rayla with Stella on her shoulder, and Rayla travelling with the boys into the dark caverns as well? If Rayla isn’t real in the reunion clip, then she’s not real in those shots, either. Which means the boys are travelling with a fake illusion of their friend for the bulk of the season, not realizing that something is undeniably wrong (or at least, not fully), and isn’t that a way to build narrative dread and tension.

This plays into a few things symbolically and counter-actively addresses the prior issues. If Rayla isn’t real, then why she came back doesn’t have to be convincing. If Rayla isn’t real, then her absence is ongoing and therefore has narrative weight and consequences to be attached to it, as well as for her doppelgänger.

Symbolic evidence for his theory is the light and dark symbolism they’re explicitly playing with this season and that have been tied to Callum and Rayla specifically, both in Rayla’s letter to him and even further in the trailer. This is something I’ve commented on before in s1-s3 pre-letter, so if you are interested in reading more check out this meta here.

In Rayla’s letter, she states:

Taking on hard choices and going to dark places is an act of love. It’s a gift. So, please let me give you this gift, Callum. Stay safe, and stay in the light. Don’t follow me, and don’t look for me. I don’t think you’ll find me, anyway.

Then in this season, we know Aaravos will ultimately be the main villain. He’s fraught with this dark and light motif already in his character design, as he is missing a piece of his literal chest star, is a fallen star, and whose name means “between light and dark.”

Then we have Callum, who states: “In Darkness, gaze upon a fallen star,” which is likely the transcription around the mirror he’s translating, as total darkness is necessary to see into Viren’s prison. This could explain why Callum has the black dark magic-y eyes of pouring the serum into his eyes (similar to what Viren did to see the mirror back in early s2) rather than a more grandiose dark magic spell (although that could come later).

So this means that Light is a good thing, right, and Darkness is a bad thing? Well... not quite. We know that Rayla’s absence has affected Callum negatively and left him more likely to pursue Aaravos’ dangers and more susceptible to his manipulations (even just by not having a counter balance and impulse control that Rayla and Callum each provided to each other). We know that Rayla left because she felt like she had no choice but to walk a dark path on her own and if she hasn’t learned that lesson that she was wrong, she’ll simply try it again every time, and that’s 1) something the narrative won’t do and 2) something Callum won’t put up with. And furthermore...

In the cave when Callum wraps his scarf around his staff to douse the light, it seems that it’s because light is dangerous. Large, terrifying creatures in the trailer that use lights to falsely lure prey right into their trap like a real life angler fish. Aaravos’ form looks like butterfly, moth mixture... bugs that die when guided to a flame.

Rayla chose to hide herself away, to Ghost herself even further. To erase every trace of herself that she could in order to not be found, in order to stay hidden to keep her loved ones safe and far away from her. We know the window of her being able to find Viren’s body when neither Claudia nor Terry were there is slim to none. So what changed her mind? What made her choose to not be invisible anymore, to purposefully reveal herself? Even in her Moonshadow form, the cube didn’t glow for her, too consumed by Stella’s primal. Why would an illusion be any different?

Because after all, Moon magic and subsequent illusions are at its strongest at a full moon. We know there can be illusions made that others can see and feel (Lujanne’s fake leg for Ava). We know that Aaravos is getting stronger and that Star primal creatures, like Stella, are incredibly rare, with cuddlemonkeys able to connect to any arcanum as they grow (just like a mini Aaravos, or mini Callum). We know he has familiars like the little bug pal. We know he can influence animals even outside his primal to do his bidding even when he wasn’t out of the mirror at all.

But why a Star primal creature in particular? The thing can’t talk. Callum doesn’t need it to help guide him to anywhere in Xadia. The cube itself already does that, always rolling in the same direction. Why not just have Rayla talk to herself while alone if she needed to (as she has already done in series) and why give her a pet if she’s going to be around people for most of the season anyway?

There’s been foreshadowing for a long while that Callum will connect to the Moon arcanum next. Given that S4 will factor in him reconnecting with Rayla and admitting the truth to himself (aka the small way he deflects about still loving her in 4x01), it stands to reason that Rayla’s symbolic associations will continue to be that of Truth and Light in a positive way. Of seeing through Aaravos’ lies and manipulations.

This would also mean perhaps Callum not trusting Fake!Rayla whereas everyone else does, and they chalk it up to his hurt feelings. But Callum has always known Rayla far better than she ever wanted him to in show, and he knows when something’s not right (“You know this is wrong” “She’s not telling us everything, I can feel it”). It would also explain this fragmentation that only Claudia (literal light and dark hair) that shares in the Fragments key art with her expression literally split in half, now even more notably fragmented than Claudia.

Why have Stella be obsessed with the cube, darting out from Rayla’s shoulder to grab and hang onto it, and keep hanging onto it as Callum and Rayla reconcile? It feels a bit like Pip’s foreshadowing all over again.

We also rarely see non-dark mages wear cloaks, as it is a symbol of dark Callum in his nightmares in 2x08, of Aaravos, and of Claudia’s villain turn in 3x09. Rayla noticeably wears her cloak upon entering, although she doesn’t wear it in any of the other shots she appears in.

The Two Raylas theory also speaks to Rayla’s continual thematic duality of her markings, her blades, her arcanum, her narrative relationship with Life and Death, as well as Lies and Truth. The biggest thing against this theory though would be the possibility of undercutting emotional moments on the way there, as well as a massive emotional fallout to possibly address, but regardless, I think it’s a really interesting idea if nothing else.

Conclusion

So what do you think of the Fake Rayla theory? Do you buy into it, is it just a fun fanon idea, and how long will we have to wait to get a definitive answer? Let me know down below and feel free to offer up your own thoughts one way or another!

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ilynpilled · 1 year

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do u ever wonder why jaime never told tyrion or cersei about the wildfire plot?

Alright, here’s the thing. A lot of the story will not function if this is known by other people, so I won’t not acknowledge that maybe it is a plot convenience. The caches of wildfire under KG is a Chekhov’s gun leading to something big, we cannot have it removed from there. Jaime’s story relies on the fact that a whole kingdom despises him for his “finest act”, which also falls apart if the context of that act is known, especially with Tyrion dropping it earlier to the reader in his POVs (would be kind of odd if he never mentions this lmao). Not to mention that if certain powerful people are aware of it, it could shift the game entirely. But still, that does not mean that we cannot make sense of it. I just think George neglected to give us an actual concrete explanation (perhaps intentionally). Maybe this is very deliberate and speaks to Jaime’s characterization.

A big factor is that he was a traumatized 17 yo when it happened. This event really messed him up. He represses, dissociates from, and compartmentalizes things. The way he reacts to the act of confessing during the bath scene is further proof of this. His thoughts communicate that he thinks he is so out of it that he can no longer check himself from admitting it to someone, including himself. Like he does not even think about the wildfire plot before the confession, even though we are in his head. Wouldn’t he want to justify it to himself in his own head when he gets judged by Brienne early on? Look at just how the confession even happens, he is completely out of it, his walls fall down, he acts like it is out of his control, it is like a part that was buried for years bubbling to the surface:

Wildfire and its qualities are also not very well understood. Barely anyone is familiar with how it truly works, and how volatile it is, as showcased by Tyrion’s ACoK chapters. I truly do not believe Jaime is aware how much of a threat they are still, and thinks it is the best if they remain ignored, hidden in jars under the city.

This is the most direct way that his silence about it is addressed:

Making “Lannister pride and stubbornness” the main, or only, explanation is something I always found a little vague. Same with his smart-ass response about oaths. It feels like deflection, and Jaime’s pathetic return to his bitter posturing. Especially how this justification of his does not really work for keeping it from Cersei and Tyrion. In fact, it mostly only works with Ned, and then he seems to become consumed by the bitterness of that specific interaction until he hurts himself and faints (loser). Also, I am curious as to how this holds up when Jaime gradually climbs out of his bitterness and cynicism and is making attempts to change his self concept later in the series. If people read Jaime as exclusively more concerned with the way he is perceived than being an actual good person, I feel like dropping this fact post bath confession to remedy his image would have certainly aided in the desire to have a better reputation (or would it be too late? I do not think so. It certainly worked with Brienne). Would anyone believe him? Is there a point? Is it his pride in confict with his desire to be humanized in the eyes of others? I think it is way more complicated. I think it is about hopelessness. I think it is just a general disillusionment with the concept of honor and morality and how it operates within this system. Jaime has no faith in these institutions at that point. We see it in the weirwood dream. He confesses. He tells the truth. Yet he is damned by his heroes all the same. That results in his fire going out, and there is no coming back from that.

Him not telling his loved ones in specific is interesting though. Including his father. Maybe it is the fact that they never judged him for it or they do not care. However, what I do find pretty interesting is that Tyrion and Cersei make use of wildfire as a weapon within the story.

I really read, or believe a big part of, Jaime’s decision to bury the existence of the caches is making them essentially unavailable. He knows that nobody is aware of them, because he went out of his way to kill everyone who was:

Jaime is so deeply traumatized about Aerys, and this whole situation is so monumental in his development, that I think there has to be a deep fear of anyone making use of it again. Including his own family. Therefore, I think he is willing to essentially bury the secret with him, despite its personal consequences. This of course paints him in a pretty moral light, which you can disagree with.

I feel like to justify this reading I also need to address the perspective of “that doesnt make sense bc jaime doesnt care about the innocents he just did it to save his father/self preservation etc”. This might be a reading exclusive to very Jaime critical circles, but there was a GoT (i know. i know. i shouldnt give a shit😭) video essay with views in the hundred thousands that claimed this so it might not be so obscure.

First of all, I dont think that makes sense with how the confession is structured and written at all. Second, idk how that reading would benefit his character writing. We start out with a comically villainous character that is unveiled to be a complex individual. Why must there be another twist on that that subverts this and goes like “no, actually he is that comically villainous individual that would be fine with 500k people being burned alive at age 17”. I am not a fan of the woobification done to him sometimes either, but there comes a point where people feel the need to misconstrue and add twists to scenes that obviously had a specific purpose for the character. What would this scene gain by having the added twist of “oh he EXCLUSIVELY did it to save his father/self preservation”? Genuinely what would such a strong moment of recontextualization gain from this? Jaime was supposed to be all about his immediate family to the ruin of everybody else. The reveal serves the purpose of recontextualizing his character and adding dimensions to it by showing that that is not entirely the case, while also delineating his trajectory thus far, especially regarding his cynicism concerning feudalistic moral constructs. What is the purpose of telling us “actually, he saved KG” only to go “this does not change how you should view his character though, circumstances just perfectly aligned for him so he committed a heroic act.”

On top of that, the logistics of removing wildfire is something insanely complicated. Him telling Ned? Sure, great. But then who else would they need to tell? The point of the wildfire under the city is that it sentences KL to death. There is really no solution. I think metaphorically it is about the culmination of corruption. That place was on a trajectory of doom, and it was never really saved, Robert, its supposed savior, was nothing but stagnation. The city is filled to the brim with corruption. Someone would abuse that power, if it is not set off during attempts at removal. Ntm even the exact locations are not known. You cannot make the caches disappear. The closest thing to it is burying the secret with you, which is what Jaime is doing. Mind you Brienne knows it too now, yet she is not eager to tell anyone either. Neither of them know what a ticking time-bomb it is. But even if they did, I think the point is that you cannot really do anything about it at this point. KL was sentenced to death and it is at a point of no return.

For the rationale of “Jaime never justifies it in such a way in his own thoughts, when he could.” Well he also never justifies him pushing Bran with “I wanted to save the lives of Cersei and our children.” Even though George believes that is the case. Jaime’s denial and posturing is not exclusive to his words, but also his thoughts. This man also deludes himself, not just those around him. He detaches himself from truth constantly to avoid vulnerability. You are hit in the face with this repeatedly in ASoS. He even lies about his motivations for things he does after they happen, which is just hilarious because we are inside his head when he decides to take certain actions and know what he is thinking and know that he is full of shit. So I do not think this contradicts my interpretation.

#ask #jaime lannister #meta #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #this is long sorry #also kind of diverged from ur actual question bc i had to justify my perspective #formatting for this is garbage bc im typing this on my phone amen #my opinions

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northern-passage · 2 years

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Announcement regarding Lea & Noel

i’ve been planning to make a few edits in the prologue/chapter 1 while i slowly work on the code behind the scenes, and i wanted to address the two big changes i’ll be making before i relaunch the game.

i will be genderlocking Noel as non-binary, alternating between he/him and xe/xem pronouns. i’ll also be editing some dialogue and a few scenes with xem to improve xir characterization and make it more consistent.

for Lea, i will be changing f!Lea slightly to make it so she is still taking testosterone.

longer explanations, if you’d like to read them -

Noel:

Noel has always been the hardest character for me to write, and xir chapter 1 Blackwater branch has always been the weakest (writing/narrative wise) to me, and i’ve never really been satisfied with it. i’ve been thinking a lot about it and considering ways to make Noel feel... better.

so i decided i want to genderlock xem. i know.... i just said i wasn’t going to do that like, last month, but.... since i talked about it, i can’t stop thinking about it! and this is a wip, i’m only on ch2, it’s not at all too late to make changes. i also think being able to reflect on this alone for the last few days has really made me realize i was doing this to appease my audience, and not because it was true to Noel’s character. there was always something that didn’t click with me about f!Noel, unlike with Lea where all three variations of them have always felt right.

Noel will now be genderlocked non-binary, and will use both he/him and xe/xem pronouns.

Noel also prefers traditionally masculine titles, like man, sir, mister, husband, etc.

this is something i’m going to have to manually edit, despite Noel having an existing pronoun code, since it will be alternating now. i’ve started combing through chapter one already, and i’m... hopeful... it won’t take me too long.

when i changed Noel’s non-binary pronouns way back, i feel like that was definitely the start of.... shifting xir character in my mind, and i feel like we are finally starting to understand each other, as corny as that sounds.

i am also very mindful of the differences between this character and myself, and i am as always open to feedback going forward in regard to Noel’s identity.

Lea:

this explanation is a bit more serious and extensive than Noel’s; i’ve talked a lot about my decision to keep Lea gender-selectable, and it’s something i want to readdress here. about a year ago i had a public discussion about it on my blog, which you can read that thread here. when i made the switch to twine, i talked about it again at length here.

i stand by my decision to keep Lea gender-selectable - it was an informed decision i made after consulting with various people, trans men and trans women included, and i have always received overwhelmingly favorable feedback in regard to Lea. at this point it is integral to their character and how i write them. however, i knew even back when i made the official choice to keep Lea gender-selectable that not everyone was going to like it, and that's fine. that's just how these things are.

i know what the risks and concerns are when it comes to having a trans/nb gender-selectable character. i am very mindful of the implications when i write Lea, and as i said, i made the decision after a lot of thought and a lot of discussion behind the scenes.

i understand why people may dislike the choice i made and the way i have designed Lea. but i bring all this up because this criticism has followed me for over a year now - and i would be fine with that, since again, i do understand why people are uncomfortable with it and i wouldn’t want to make light of those concerns. however, i do find it incredibly disingenuous to call me and my friends “brain dead transphobes” over it. i would like to think that it's pretty clear i put a lot of thought and care into my characters and their identities and the content that i write, and that it means a lot to me as a trans person.

to be frank, i am not interested in having this conversation about Lea again - i have rehashed this both publicly and privately to death, i have addressed it and i have explained my decision and my thoughts behind it. i have talked with trans men, i have talked with other transmasc people, i have spoken with trans women - while i can never hear every single opinion in the world, i have heard enough to feel confident in my decision regarding Lea, and again, it is something i have already addressed at length.

all of this is not to say that i am above criticism when it comes to my trans characters, but more to explain that it feels, to me, that this particular criticism has turned into something personal and malicious, and i see no reason to put any more of my energy behind it.

my decision to change f!Lea's hormones is not necessarily a response to this criticism, but it has been the final push, i suppose. believe it or not, i originally intended for her to be taking hormones still, and i changed my mind to avoid harassment (how ironic) since i've seen the way the IF community responds to these kinds of characters. even now, i get complaints about there not being any "pretty" women in tnp. for the record, while f!Lea is referred to as a woman, she is also trans; if i had to specify, i would simply say "butch."

if you’re interested, i’ve shared links to Leslie Feinberg’s works a few times on this blog, and it’s people like hir (and my own identity) that made me want to write f!Lea this way.

and while there are plenty of people that have similar stories as Lea's, and have stopped taking hormones, Lea is a fictional character and i am the one writing the narrative. i've decided to write her as i originally intended to avoid any kind of "detransition" narrative in any way. f!Lea was never someone who had "detransitioned"; she simply was no longer taking hormones, and HRT is not a "requirement" for transitioning. but i'd rather fully avoid any kind of implication at this point.

and for absolute clarity: all variations of Lea are transmasc. and all variations of Lea are completely separate and independent of each other and are different, unique experiences, just like any other gender-selectable character. m!Lea is not, at any point, equated to f!Lea, nor nb!Lea, for that matter. f!Lea is butch, nb!Lea is a transmasc person, and m!Lea is a trans man. on the blog i refer to them with gender-neutral pronouns because there are three variations, and it is easier to include all three of them in this way - not because i’m trying to purposefully misgender my own character.

i thought a lot about this over my break, and i debated bringing all of this up again, especially since a lot of the recent criticisms i have been receiving seem to be... in very bad faith. but i feel more comfortable readdressing it and making it clear that this is something i have already discussed extensively in the past & is something i am still very mindful of, not just with Lea, but with all of my gender-selectable characters.

i’ve gone back and forth on this for a long time, and ultimately i think the change will also give me a chance to add in some interesting characterization for f!Lea and an opportunity to explore her identity within the narrative a bit more than what i was planning to do so before.

---

if you’ve read this far, thank you! i am actually excited for these changes and i am excited to relaunch the game again this month. i’m hopeful that it will be an improvement, and will help me move forward back into chapter 2 with a bit more focus and motivation.

#lea chen #noel lykaon #update #long post

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

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More Notable EN Changes

HI I JUST WANTED TO MAKE MY COMMENTS 😅 vskwabkznsehek pardon the dust—

***Spoilers for episode 5 of the main story!***

Sooo they changed Deuce’s UM name from “Bet the Limit” to “Double Down” (“Double Down” being the chance to increase the value of one’s initial bet by 100% in a game of Blackjack). I’m guessing this was done because the original name explicitly mentioned “betting”/gambling in a game which is marketed and exposed to an audience that can contain children, whereas “Double Down” can be interpreted as a reference to Deuce’s stubbornness and unwillingness to budge if a player isn’t familiar with card game terms.

I find it kind of confusing because TWST’s whole gacha system to acquire new characters IS inherently a form of gambling 😅 but that aside, I don’t dislike the new name??? It works a lot better than some of the other name changes they’ve made, and I appreciate the word play/double meaning.

… But fun fact, there is a KFC sandwich with the same name as Deuce’s localized UM 😂 GO GOOGLE IT IF YOU THINK I’M KIDDING CUZ I’M NOT—

BRO. THEY JUST STRAIGHT UP REMOVED ALL OF HEIGH HO/YAHOO????? Rhythmic/Twistune (aka 30 free gems)? AXED. Musical cues? GONE. Lyrics? WHERE? Song name? NEVER HEARD OF HER. AHBDOSAIDAIDASHDB It’s???? Such a shame 😔 I really feel like seeing RSA’s song is important to the chapter because it shows NRC (and Vil specifically) what they’re up against, and it helps to characterize on and expand RSA’s students.

The removal of Heigh Ho/Yahoo also really impacts a lot of scenes, and for the worse. It leads to parts where Neige says, “Everyone, let’s go!” to awkward silence before (even more awkwardly) fading into black. It’s particularly weird at the very end of the episode, where the NRC group is forced to smile and sing along with Neige??? Instead it just shows Neige grabbing Vil and being all like, “let’s sing together!” before fading into white 😅 I genuinely feel really bad for EN exclusive players right now 💦 Heigh Ho/Yahoo actually plays a big part in the gravity and some of the light heartedness of the latter half of episode 5...

I think that they likely won’t just add it in later since the censoring seems extremely deliberate. If I had to guess (BIG FAT DISCLAIMER that I’m not an expert, nor do I claim to be, of Disney internal operations and legal operations), Heigh Ho/Yahoo probably got removed due to licensing issues between Disney USA and Disney JP since those branches operate differently? (An example that a friend of mine gave is that Japanese VAs can get away with song covers but Disney USA usually frowns upon parodies or covers of their songs over in the USA. It’s also possible that the licensing issue is between Disney USA and Aniplex, not Disney JP.) The song itself doesn’t contain anything offensive that would need to de redacted, it’s literally called a popular nursery rhyme for children in the Shaftlands/Pyroxene.

#Deuce Spade #twst en #Vil Schoenheit #Neige Leblanche #twisted en #notes from the writing raven #spoilers #minor thing but they’re also inconsistent with one of the Dwarves’ name #why does he say his name is Grum but the display for his name says Gran #proofreaders where are you 😭

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americanrecord · 5 months

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hiya! do you have any writing tips to share ? i love your writing and your journey is very inspiring to me as a new writer!

hiii, darling! this is so sweet, and i love hearing about new writers <33 welcome, welcome !!

anyway, as for writing tips, i have a few, and some of them are about just like — prepping — whereas others are more writing or editing-focused. also, a lot of these are contradictory, meaning you really have to exert a case-by-case sense of judgment. a tip that make work in one situation/with one piece, may not work with another.

before we break into that — if you or anybody reading this knows they are best writing off the cuff and/or are a pantser who detests making writing a routine/ritual + works more successfully in what is akin to random spikes of energy, some of these tips won’t be super helpful. what works for me is being very constant and thorough.

also, disclaimer, i have no real certifications (yet).

write everyday, or: as often as you can. seriously, practice helps. not only with the cohesion of your work, but with your writing. playing around and engaging with words in some way every day is my biggest tip. and i don’t care if you sit there and churn out 8,000 words in one day or write a 47-word paragraph and call it a night, just touch it. write! sometimes i write 5k in a day and revisit it & it’s terrible, and sometimes i write 24 words before i decided i was too tired & return to some of the world’s prettiest 24 words. if you have time, always try and write.

planning, outlining, editing, etc. is writing. it absolutely is, and don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. however, if you are only planning, outlining, and editing what you have already written, then you will never finish anything. sometimes, you have to take your hands off the work & give it a week. sometimes, with outlines, you have to say fuck it, we ball, and start typing and see what happens. i am an excessive planner, so this is hard advice i had to learn, but there is almost never a necessity for every single comprehensible detail to make it into the outline as a.) the work will start to mirror that bullet-y feel of an outline b.) many of those little details will get cut anyway. just write. get off pinterest and write.

on that note, if you are an outliner, do try to include as much detail as you can into that outline - namely things you know are important to the overall scene and that you may forget by the time you go and write it. most often, for me, that means writing down lines of dialogue as i first hear them in my head, even if they are ultimately changed by the time i go to type/edit. sometimes simply saying: "then valerie explodes in anger" is enough of a cue, other times, i have to remind myself how, exactly, she explodes in anger. this is often because i plan and make outlines in clusters.

speaking of, planning in advance—while bothersome to the pansters of the world—will save you a lot of work in the long run. it's definitely guaranteed to slash your plot-holes in half. what i specifically do is make the outline for like 4-5 chapters at once, or however many chapters apply to maybe one "plot beat" or arc. this ensures that they're as smooth as possible and all connect well because they were all sort of penned in a continuous motion.

share your work. it's scary, i know!!, but share it. i don't mean post it - unless that moves you, then please do - but share it. ask a friend to read it, source out a mutual, search for beta readers on the internet, etc. depending on what level of criticism you ask for, other people's feedback is invaluable. writers are always too close to their work and their characters so things may seem like they make sense and/or are realistic when they may not be. other people may catch what reads awkwardly but otherwise goes unseen because you've read over the piece too many times. they can pick out typos, confusing moments in plot/characterization, or—positively, funny/cute/sweet/riveting/interesting moments that kept them wanting to read more and therefore might serve as some motivation. writers often love criticism, and they like to know how they can make the work better, but they also love knowing what makes the work good and what people want to see more of. for any invested readers or betas tuning in right now: the more specific you can make your feedback, the better. i don't know a writer that wouldn't appreciate some lines/passages/moments being specifically honed in and celebrated, because sometimes a simple "yeah, it was good" is nice, but...not enough.

give some space between writing and editing. a lot of writers will advise somebody not to edit something until they've finished it in its entirety (not to applicable to people like fic writers who are sometimes writing without a schedule, on a post-write-post-write-rinse-repeat schedule), but i don't personally follow this rule...? i don't feel complete moving on from a chapter that may be teeming with typos. i am, however, somebody who would write a chapter, call it a night, and let myself sleep before looking at it again. with this rewrite specifically, i would also only edit lightly knowing i had a massive overall edit later in the pipeline. but do give space. words start to blur when you've been writing for a while, and what reads smoothly when you're sleep-deprived might be alphabet soup when you're not (or vice versa!) [and if you are working on a real book, do try to save as much of the editing as possible for a finished draft, as i can guarantee you'll have to do some rewriting anyway, so there's no use in killing yourself for the shiniest sentence so early on.]

editing is also done best when it's done by somebody else, but don't be the writer that puts word vomit on somebody's desk and expect them to make sense of it. what you give somebody else to edit should always be in its best stage possible (unless it's like: hey, just read over this rq, which isn't really an editing task). wordy is okay. full of red spaghetti, as i like to call it, is not. spell check is FREE. for self-editing purposes: i recommend some grammar aids like grammarly, prowritingaid, and hemmingwayapp. the latter, even the free version, is really good for pointing out things like overly complex sentences/run-ons, an over-abundance of adverbs, too much passive voice, etc. i don't always listen to that last site when it highlights some of my sentences as too complex, however, as...sometimes they are just big sentences while not being difficult to read. always exercise your best judgment or ask for a second set of human eyes.

also for editing, if possible, printing out your work and doing it by hand is a really good way to visualize the work and to reduce screen-induced distractions. i find it especially helpful for cutting words. i don't know why. sometimes, it looks great on a screen, but then i read it on paper and picture what people would be snuggling up in their beds to flip through and have a new sense of "oh, that's not needed," "that's redundant," "that's gratuitous detail that can be summarized in one sentence instead of four," etc.

for massive rewrites, however, i typically abandon a pen and just open up two side-by-side computer tabs and go at it. i end up cutting words this way too usually!! or adding, depending on...

another editing tip: reading your own work aloud is always good. your ear really does pick up on things that your eye doesn't. but if you're like me and you don't want to sit there and read off thousands of words to your poster of insert favorite celebrity, or if you're in public environment/a home environment with too many overhearing ears, then text-to-speech software is amazing. i swear by it, particularly for determining if the flow of the text is good, and there are a bunch of free ones out there. the most realistic voices (AI) are typically ones you need to pay for, which i don't do (looking into this, however, just because it's so helpful for me), so i will make do with voices that sometimes sound like siri — but it works!!! when writers read, especially their own work, i think they have a tendency to edit and rearrange words in their head like a passage is an endless word scrambler, so turning off your visual cortex (besides like, following along with the audio) and just listening to the words as they are read to you sort of cuts that instinct off at the knees and shows that, no, it doesn't sound as awkward as you think it does. there will never be a reader who scrutinizes your words as deeply as you do, so it's reassuring to know that it sounds nice off the lips of somebody else. even if it's a robot.

lastly, don't neglect snacks, water, entire meals, homework, your social life (to an extent, sometimes i get it fr), your health, sleep, the bathroom, etc. you can't write when you're dead.

lastly, part 2, have fun with it!!!!!!

#hopefully these are helpful <3 #it feels incoherent #writing ✍︎#✉︎ — confessions.

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lunas-otome-blog · 5 months

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Luna's Review: Radiant Tale

Official Summary:

Tifalia’s comfortable life is turned upside down when a dragon crash-lands right into her! This triggers her first encounter with CIRCUS, a performance troupe that travels around the world to save their crown prince. After a dismal failure of a performance, CIRCUS discovers that Tifalia might be able to help them and recruit her to act as producer for their dysfunctional troupe.

Will they master the ring? Or just be mediocre?

A crazy dragon who’s more silly than scary, a prickly clown who won’t make you laugh, a mysterious conductor who doesn’t want to use water magic, an acrobat who doesn’t know how to entertain, a drunkard fur ball, an unmotivated leader, and an amateur producer who just joined.

Can you help this dysfunctional troupe create their greatest performance?

(Spoiler Free) Luna's Thoughts:

I have so much praise for this game. It really delivers on what it promises at the beginning: a colorful, fun adventure with a circus theme throughout. Not to mention the Mucha-themed user interface is gorgeous.

They need to give the editors and translators for this game a raise. Not only is the editing accurate and excellent, but the localization of dialogue (particularly with Radie) is really skillfully done. This was the first otome game I've played in a while that didn't have a lot of awkwardly-phrased sentences. It really felt like the editing team cared and was trying their best throughout.

The cast of characters is colorful and varied, and I love the characterization of the main character as someone who goes through her own unique arc in each route. Often otoge protagonists are just fill-ins for the player, but Tifalia is actually allowed to have her own thoughts, feelings and interests. Her biggest flaw is that her name is, unfortunately, Tifalia.

(I know you can rename the protag, but I like to hear them say the name, so I always keep the default name lol.)

She does lack the typical protagonist top-of-eye shinies, which makes her look a little unemotional in some CGs.

Another thing I enjoyed was how the common route changes a little based on which characters you spend time with. Ultimately the same things happen, but the way you're introduced to certain elements changes. That was a nice little bit of flavor that made even the common route a little more exciting each playthrough.

I did have a little trouble picturing where the flowers you're supposed to bloom are in the game. They're never described as being any particular place, just that they're there. Are they floating? Do people carry them around? What is going on lol.

There were also a few details in particular routes that I felt could have been done better, but ultimately I really liked this game. Below, please find my thoughts on each route in the order I played them. Spoilers ahead.

(SPOILERS) Zafora Route

Zafora is so, so cute. You really have to work to get him to blush, which makes it all the more adorable when he does. His inability to speak sincerely is hilarious and results in a lot of roundabout dialogue. It doesn't help that Tifalia is kinda stupid and doesn't get it, but that just means Zafora has to come out and say what he means sometimes.

My biggest issue with his route was that Erase, the magical weapon he needs in order to save Cultura from Balto, is just a gun lolol. Like, this is a magical universe with magic and spirits and MAGIC and he gets a gun. The ending scene with him and Tifalia holding the gun together was extremely funny.

The ending did feel a bit rushed, as Balto just sort of vanishes after being shot. We don't really even get to see that moment, as Zafora freezes and isn't mentally present for it. The game pretty much abruptly ends after that, only to reveal that one year later, Zafora hasn't contacted Tifalia AT ALL. Like, bro, you're really gonna be like this after all she did for you?? Tifalia pretty much falls over herself taking him back, which made me kinda angry. Have higher standards, girl!

I've seen other write-ups about his route feeling more plot heavy with romance shoved at the end and I agree. The fun of a tsundere like Zafora is getting them to debase themselves and confront their feelings and even at the end, Zafora is never forced to do this. He remains dignified and cold and forces Tifalia to do all the emotional lifting. It was a bit disappointing for an after ending.

(SPOILERS) Ion Route

This route was longer than Zafora's (or at least it felt so) and it seemed a little better paced. I felt Ion's relationship with Tifalia was sensible and sweet. Of course he'd fall for the girl who showed him a little kindness.

Characters like him (honest, deadpan, straightforward) can be handled well or poorly depending on whether the writing gives them time to grow. I think Ion's growth felt natural as he learns to rely on others, accept praise and have his own opinions about things.

One part in his route that I had trouble with was when the group just decided to break into Balto's house and then they did it. Like, we didn't get any sort of explanation. The dialogue was just like "we snuck in." I know the story needed to move on, but it was kinda funny that the circus kids can apparently stage a heist with no concerns.

I really enjoyed the characterization of Luna in this arc, but I did wish that she was drawn more childlike. I assumed she was just a short fully-grown woman until I played this arc because her clothes and hairstyle are fairly mature. But she's supposed to be like 12 I think?

While I thought Ion's ending battle scene was a lot less rushed than Zafora's, I wish Tifalia's sacrifice was given a bit more time to breathe. She just brands herself with the ring and then two seconds later Ion is able to deliver the final blow. I wish we'd had a little more time for him to agonize.

That said, the ending scene where everyone wordlessly agrees to brand themselves with the ring, despite not even being 100% sure that doing it will help, just to make Ion feel more secure, was absolutely adorable. I really felt the friendship here. It was incredibly sweet.

Overall, I felt Ion's route was more grounded than Zafora's, possibly because Ion is a more honest character. Also, jealous Ion at the end?? Fantastic. More of that, please.

(SPOILERS) Paschalia Route

If Ion's route was romantic, Pas's route takes it to a whole different level. Zafora is outright hostile towards Tifalia for a lot of his route, and Ion was standoffish for a while. Pas, on the other hand, seems to be attracted to her from the very beginning. His chivalrous nature has already developed into romantic feelings before you even get on his route.

Seeing him blonde with yellow eyes was a shock. I knew his appearance changed based on his water spirit contract, but I didn't know how much, as blue hair isn't that uncommon in these games.

This route felt very different from the first two I did, and it took me a while to understand why I felt weird about it. I realized it's because Paschalia's route is perhaps too "traditional" for my taste. He tells you right away that he wants to protect Tifalia, not because she's without magic but because she's a woman. Which is ironic because Pas is easily the most feminine-looking character in the game, Tifalia included.

And his route culminates into a literal damsel in distress plot, with Tifalia trapped underwater, unable to do anything except wait for her prince to come. She felt more pathetic this route, as compared to Zafora's route, where her whole arc is figuring out how she can support him, and Ion's route, where she brands herself with a curse in order to help him. And let's be honest: as soon as they mentioned the Leve Vows, you know that's how it's going to end.

This is also the first route where you truly get to understand the fickleness of the great spirits. Leve has no rhyme or reason for what she does; she simply likes humans who are in love, and will punish them if they betray her expectations. It's treated as kind of sweet in the common route, but later I realized it's kind of horrifying. Sometimes people fall out of love, or just realize they need different things in a relationship. I don't think people should be punished for it.

There's a weird mention of making Paschalia the mayor of Oriens to get the earrings which is never followed up on. I also thought the surprise wedding was abrupt, and kind of messed up if I'm being honest. Consent is key!

I know there's a lot of negatives here, but I didn't dislike the route. I thought Pas and Tifalia's relationship developed fairly naturally, and I did genuinely cry when he rejects her initially. I also thought Leve televising their kiss to all of Oriens was hilarious.

But idk, overall this route felt a little heteronormative to me. I would have liked to see Tifalia get a bigger role.

(SPOILERS) Radie Route

This route was ambitious to say the least, and I don't think it was pulled off as effectively as it could have been. A large part of it, to me at least, was that the route tries to pull off too much in such a small space. Radie's — or as we find out, Ralida's — route felt like it should have been the true ending. We find out so much about Tifalia's past, most notably that her parents are alive, but there's so much going on in this route that we don't really get a proper reunion with them.

I feel like this route was made to come right before the true end, so I cannot imagine how odd of an experience it would be to play it earlier. It makes the other three routes seem super insignificant, honestly.

Ralida was a weird choice to be the character that loses his emotions, namely because he's not the most expressive character in the cast. In fact, I'd say he's not expressive at all unless in his fey form, which we realize is largely acting, or at least a cutesy persona he developed for Tifalia's sake.

I do understand his arc mirrors Tifalia's own experience losing her emotions and memories when her parents "died." But it would have made more sense to go with a character like Vilio. Thinking about it now, none of the boys in Radiant Tale are very expressive except Vilio, are they? Lol.

Despite the dramatics, this route felt fairly low stakes, as they're basically never in doubt that they can bring Ralida's memories back. That made me somewhat impatient. I'd have liked the plot to be more "what can we do to bring him back" rather than "here is what we do, now sit through two more chapters while we do the thing." Idk if that makes sense but I was never worried for Ralida. And we never got an explanation for how the great earth spirit was about to turn Ralida into a full fey after he left. I guess it's something like Leve leaving a part of her consciousness behind, but we didn't get to hear any explanation so I don't truly know.

I also felt like Tifalia was kind of swindled out of a more satisfying after end sequence. It was better than Zafora's, but I wanted Ralida to be more flustered. We barely see him blush the entire route. I do like that Tifalia gets to take the initiative though. And I ADORE Tifalia's dad's reaction to their relationship. He is the most dad ever about it.

I also want to address one thing that bothered me a little, which is that it feels a bit icky that Ralida was basically Tifalia's dad for a while. I know he's an immortal being and probably time means nothing to him. And I don't blame Tifalia either, because she doesn't remember their past together. But surely this route could have been written in a way that didn't state over and over again that Ralida was her guardian? Just feels a bit wrong tbh.

I was really excited for the "childhood friend" route but I got a lot more than I expected. Again, I know I've written mostly negative things here but I promise I didn't dislike this route! I just think it could have done well with more space to breathe, as well as making Ralida more emotional from the get-go so it's more of a gut-punch when he loses his emotions. I still think this should have been the true end route, given how entangled Ralida is with Tifalia's past.

(SPOILERS) Vilio Route

The beginning of this route felt weird to me, probably because you don't get to go through the regular common route. Vilio has his own version of the common route, and the key events/explanations of the common route are given new dialogue. However, it felt a little rushed, with oversimplified explanations and little dialogue with anyone but Vilio. It's basically just a crappier version of the common route.

I know it's because players have already read it and been through the common route four times at this point, but with the skip function, it's still pretty easy to get through it. And it gives you the ability to select Vilio on the cute little map like I got to do with the others. Idk, I know you're gonna pick Vilio when you're playing his route, but I felt like I was robbed of the chance to get onto the route myself. Maybe I'm just a traditionalist and prefer trying to qualify for a route like normal. But being made to read through a rushed version of the common route was annoying.

After playing Vilio's route, I still feel like Ralida's route would have been the better true end. That said, I thought Tifalia was at her best in this route. This is the only route where she gets to set out fully on her own (well, ok, with Colivus) and go on an adventure, standing up to the Great Spirits to convince them she's worthy.

Like in a lot of otoges, you realize Vilio's cheerfulness is a cover for his sadness and regrets. I enjoyed the contrast between his personality and his mission, as well as the visual of him with dark hair, symbolizing his dreariness and resignation to accept his fate.

Like with Ralida's route, I felt the reunion with Tifalia's parents was rushed, as was how everyone else gets their problems solved. I know the true end route is always tasked with somehow resolving things for everyone, but given how difficult it was to take care of, say, Paschalia's situation in his route, it seemed really silly to just say that Leve fixes him instantly. There was also the usual level of convoluted magic in Vilio's route, but I've grown to expect that sort of thing in these games.

I would have liked to see Tifalia with dragon powers. We know she now shares his lifespan but we're told she has a dragon's strength and magic now. Yet we never see an example of this. It would have been cool to get to see her become accustomed to her powers, or use them to fight, or really anything lol.

I also thought the Dragon's Bride thing was brought up way too late. It was never hinted at until it became plot relevant, which seems lazy. The introduction of the fiend breakout at the lab also seemed a bit too convenient.

I'd say overall, the pacing was my biggest criticism in his route. I wanted less common route and more Tifalia reuniting with her parents and attempting to come up with a way to help Vilio. That said, it was still a happy ending and I enjoyed playing it.

Jinnia

Jinnia technically isn't a route, unless you count the common ending, but I would be remiss not to comment on him.

Honestly, I thought he was one of the best characters in the game. As soon as I saw him I was like "I hope he's not romanceable because sir, that is a Gay Man." Fortunately he's not (thought I have heard he sort of is in the fan disk) but he still has a great presence.

He's the first ally you have when Tifalia falls in love. He's always supportive, even when you don't make the choice he wants. And he canonically wears makeup and flamboyant fashion. He's easily the most consistently-behaved character in the game, and I love his relationship with his boyfriend childhood friend Acchan.

A+ character. 10/10

#otome game #otome review #review #radiant tale #radiant tale review

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the-power-of-stuff · 1 year

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I'm one chapter and an epilogue away from "the words to keep you" being complete on AO3, which made me wanna look through my 7k+ words of deleted scenes. 😅

In an earlier draft of the story, I had more interaction between Suki and Kanna during the Southern Water Tribe chapters, but I ultimately scrapped the scene, for a bunch of reasons.

For one, I struggled a lot with the tone of those chapters, but eventually I felt I wanted to keep things light-hearted and fun, at least until the big angsty moment at the end, and this interaction between Suki and Kanna felt a bit too heavy and introspective to me. I also didn't completely love my characterization of Kanna in this section. And I wanted more Suki and Hakoda time and couldn't figure out how to make it work if I kept this scene with Kanna.

But! I still kinda like the scene overall, so I wanted to share it anyway. Here's a bit of Kanna giving Suki a subtle what-for.

“Hello, Suki,” Hakoda said with a warm smile, extending his hand. They gripped forearms. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too, sir,” Suki said, grimacing inwardly. She’d finally gotten comfortable enough to call Hakoda by his name about a year-and-a-half into her relationship with Sokka, but that comfort was fully eroded by now. Hakoda’s smile was sympathetic, but he didn’t correct her, and she did her best to ignore the lump in her gut.

“Excuse me for interrupting, but Sokka, I need you to help your grandmother while I go finalize some of the details of the celebration with Katara.”

“Sure, Dad, what’s up?”

Hakoda leaned in closer. “She insists on carrying the stew pots to the square by herself,” he said in practically a hiss, “and I told her that Healer Amka forbade her from lifting anything heavy after the last time she hurt her back, but she won’t listen to me.”

Sokka clapped his father on the shoulder and then shot a wink at Suki. “Don’t worry, Dad, I’ve got it under control.”

Just then, Kanna walked out of one of the igloos with a large cast iron pot dangling by its handle from her knotty hands. Hakoda widened his eyes at Sokka and whispered, “See?” between clenched teeth.

“Hakoda, stop pestering the children,” she said, and Hakoda rolled his eyes while he still had his back to her. Suki covered her hand with her mouth before Kanna could see her laughing.

“Gran Gran!” Sokka cried, jaunting past his father to intercept the older woman. “Can I help you with that?”

“There’s three more stew pots in there,” Hakoda said to Suki quietly, pulling her out of her thoughts before she could get too swept up in how endearing the whole situation was. “Make sure he gets them all?”

She nodded, feeling quite conspiratorial when that earned her a pat on the shoulder, but even after he walked away, Sokka hadn’t managed to get his hands on a single pot.

“Nonsense,” Kanna was saying, chin high. “I don’t need any help.”

“I know you don’t need it, Gran Gran, but I’d really like to help you anyway. Whaddaya say? As a favor to me? Your favorite grandson?”

Suki approached the pair with her arms crossed. “Sokka, this woman used to change your diapers, your sweet talk doesn’t work on her.”

Sokka narrowed his eyes at her, a silent accusation, but before he could feel too betrayed, Suki leaned close to whisper in his ear, “Your dad said there’s three more pots inside.”

When she pulled back to confirm he’d understood, she couldn’t help but notice how wide his pupils were, and the heavy bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed. Then he nodded, and Suki ripped her attention away from him.

“Kanna—”

“Call her Gran Gran,” Sokka hissed.

“I mean— Gran Gran! I brought something special from Kyoshi Island for you, to thank you for your hospitality. If I may, I’d love to give it to you before we all get distracted by the celebration.”

Kanna looked back and forth between Sokka and Suki before she finally gave in and handed the pot to her grandson.

“Very well,” she said. “That sounds lovely. Thank you, dear.”

As she led Kanna back to Sokka’s room to get the gift from her bag, Suki turned to give Sokka a wink over her shoulder. He gave her a wobbly smile in return and then walked off with the stew pot in his arms.

“You two make quite a team,” the other woman said, with the same casual confidence she might have if she’d said, “Your name is Suki.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Suki said, laughing nervously. “Okay, wait here one sec, I’ll get your gift…” And then she ducked into Sokka’s igloo.

A shiver went through her at the intimacy of being in Sokka’s space alone. Like she was waiting to surprise him with a clandestine affair. Like he was keeping her there to have his way with later. She locked her focus firmly on her bag, unreasonably afraid of what it would feel like to see the rest of his room, grabbing the gift and then jumping back out into the open air as if she might suffocate if she stayed inside any longer.

“Oh, so there was a gift,” Kanna said, eyeing the bundle in Suki’s arms with a soft smile.

“Of course! Did you think we were trying to trick you?”

“I wasn’t sure, with all that whispering back there. People think just because I’m old, I’ve stopped paying attention. But I pay more attention now than ever.”

Suki rolled her shoulders against the sudden prickling between her shoulder blades. “Your family’s just looking out for you, Gran Gran. I’m sorry if we made it feel like we were deceiving you.”

“Never mind that,” Kanna said, waving her hand through the air. Then her smile turned bright, smoothing away a couple decades from her face. “What have you got for me?”

“Well, for the past few years, my warriors and I have been working to improve our relationship with the other villages on Kyoshi Island, and through that, we’ve discovered some amazing artifacts.” She unfurled the bundle and held it out to Kanna. “This parka looks like sealskin, but you see the boxy, geometric pattern in the embroidery? That’s very typical of traditional Kyoshi Island clothing. We thought this must be from sometime before the war, when there was open trade between our island and the Southern Water Tribe.”

Kanna took the parka and draped it over one arm.

“This is definitely sealskin,” she said, her fingertips running gracefully over the delicate embroidery despite the large knobs in her knuckles. “It’s a bit weathered from lack of care, but nothing a little whale oil and stitching can’t fix.”

“I did the best I could,” Suki said, “before coming down. I’ve never been very good at mending…”

She bit her lip when Kanna reached up to place one hand on her arm. That prickle between her shoulder blades was back, but this time she resisted shrugging it away.

“This is a beautiful gift, Suki. Thank you. And I can see the effort you put in to restoring it. That was very thoughtful.” She ran her fingers over the seams. “Perhaps Katara or one of the other girls can help me with the stitching. My dexterity isn’t what it once was.” And she wiggled her fingers slowly by way of demonstration.

“Nimble as ever!” Suki argued. “Between you and me, you probably could’ve carried that pot just fine on your own.”

“Perhaps,” she said, and then she smiled up at Suki. “I was young, once.”

“Of course you were!” Suki laughed.

“Back then, I gave up everything,” Kanna continued, “my family, my home, everything — to go after the life I knew was right for me. My Pakku…he found me again eventually. Perhaps it was fate, and we truly weren’t meant to be together until now. Or perhaps we were just two very stubborn people who made choices we couldn’t take back. If I could do it all again, well…I would do it the same. But, I don’t have much time left anymore.”

“Gran Gran…” Sometimes Oyaji made comments like this about his foregone youth, and Suki never knew what to say in response. She felt no better equipped now.

“After I’m gone, I’ll still be watching from the spirit lights. And even though I wouldn’t change a thing about my own life, I would hate to see my only grandson get to be my age before he feels truly settled in his.”

Oh… Why had she thought they were legitimately talking about parkas and Pakku? And why had she thought she would make it through this trip without a talking to from the matriarch of the Southern Water Tribe?

“I don’t want that either, Gran Gran,” Suki replied. And it was true. But how much control could she possibly have over something like that? How much responsibility could she take?

“Thank you very much for the parka, dear. This is quite special.” Kanna lifted her hand to Suki’s face. “I never knew a time when there was a strong partnership between Kyoshi Island and the South Pole. I hope I live long enough to see it.”

Suki closed her eyes on a sigh.

“Now!” Kanna said suddenly, clapping her hand onto the antique in her arms. Suki opened her eyes to see an indulgent smile on the older woman’s face. “I think you’ve sufficiently distracted me. Shall we go see if my grandson has managed to transport all four of my stew pots by now?”

#sukka #my fic #sukka fic #fic behind the scenes #fic: the words to keep you #deleted scenes #suki and kanna have a heart to heart #this story has come so far from where it started and in some ways has changed a lot #it's fun to reminisce about how damn hard writing is hahaaaa

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goldenkamuyhunting · 2 years

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Quick outline of the changes in Golden Kamuy Vol 28

So I realize that I’ve fallen behind with this series, but as my liking of the story started to lower and my work instead, didn’t, I ended up neglecting it. Anyway, for who’s interested, here is a general outline of the more relevant changes that take place in Vol 28 compared to the magazine. Note that as usual I won’t dig into minor changes or redraws unless they seem to be relevant for the plot or characterization (or I really like them).

So now let’s start.

WARNING: I hadn’t had the chance to check all the dialogues yet. If I’ll find out there are changes in them that are relevant I’ll update this post as soon as I can. @piduai though, translated some of the new pages in which relevant changes took place, so I recommend checking this post. Said so, let’s start.

We spend a moment on the cover, which shows a character who has never appeared on covers in the past, Nikaidou Kouhei.

The pose is dynamic and put in evidence both his prosthetic leg (which is firing a shoot) and his prosthetic hand (which is letting chopsticks fall). Behind him there’s Arisaka with a machine gun and the unnamed guy we saw at the hospital, the implication being that Nikaidou isn’t fighting anyone but he’s still in the hospital.

We then move to the colour page.

which was used for chap 285.

A colour cover that was in the chapters included in this volume and that instead isn’t shown is the one of chap 272.

This volume includes an index page (which uses as image the one of the cover) and a 4 page summary.

This volume counts 9 chapters (normally a volume counts 10 chapters but the previous counted 11) with some changes, additions of extra pages and panels to expand scenes that already were in the magazine version so we can better understand what’s going on and of scenes that are redrawn, either to improve their quality, correct mistakes or add to the plot.

Note I’m not going to add them all but only those which are plot relevant (or that I particularly like). Also no scanlations this time.

Let’s start with chap 272.

Since originally this chapter had a color cover, Noda made for it a black and white cover with the image of the moon Kikuta and Ariko saw when they were trapped in a trench.

Noda then added Kikuta’s face, along with info on where and when the scene is taking place.

He then proceeded to expand Ariko’s tale

The image of the Makiri is also redrawn.

Noda expanded also the following scene which ends up including a flashback to when Ariko discovered the Makiri was in Tsurumi’s hands.

The result of this addition is that it seems that, in the following page, when we see Kikuta pondering, this seems to be because he remembered when Ariko found the Makiri... while in the magazine version we could hope it was because he was worried for Asirpa. As a result I’m not overly fond of the addition of this flashback as it means to add a page and a panel of scenes we’ve already seen.

A scene of Tsukishima and Koito tring to open the door alfter Sofia tossed the bench against it is added.

We also have a new panel of Asirpa, Sofia and Ariko running toward the bottlemobile which, here and there is better drawin. Ariko’s fall is a lot more dinamic and the scene in which he tells Asirpa to run is expanded and better drawn.

We continue with chap 273.

As he did in the previous volume, in this volume too Noda added the right shading to the firemen’s uniforms.

Noda enlarged the panels in the scene in which the soldiers point out how Nikaidou smelled of beer and Koito realizes due to this Tsurumi should have smelled him and Tsukishima while they were hiding under the desk.

The final page is changed so that Koito now doesn’t close the door.

Considering the idea is that, despite everything, Koito will never genuinely plan to cut ties with Tsurumi, the fact that Koito leaves the door open might remark what we will ultimately see in Vol 30, that despite everything Koito was willing to follow him and only wanted him to be sincere with him.

So no, I’ll say the idea Koito would part ways with Tsurumi as most of the fandom hoped was never on the table. Too bad.

To make up for it Noda includes a panel showing Koito under the rain outside the church, watching the door and, through it, Tsurumi.

This implies Koito is, in a way, closed out, not close to Tsurumi as he would like to believe. He doesn’t belong to Tsurumi’s little world, not him nor Tsukishima. For all his devotion, he’s just a henchman to be manipulated and, while it’ll turn out he doesn’t like this, ultimately he’ll still be at Tsurumi’s side because he’ll remain forever a Tsurumi fanboy despite everything.

It’s a pity Koito never grew out of this... but, well, since the story planned to make a leader out of it regardless, I guess it didn’t matter.

Then there’s chap 274.

Noda modified the panel in which Sofia talks with Hijikata so that now we can see her men are with her.

He also redrawn Boutarou and added an image of Hokkaido superimposed with the scenery.

Noda then moved here the scene from chap 279 in which Asirpa checks the skins in attempt to decode Wilk’s message, expanding it a little.

We move to chap 275.

Noda added 4 more pages that shows Sugimoto sleeping and then digs more into his dream/flashback of the past.

As I remember well enough this part, this flashback isn’t something I feel I needed (except for the part that shows Sugimoto wandering), but I understand others might have forgot and so Noda decided to include it.

Noda also expanded the scene in which Kikuta talks about Kaeko. I still find funny how Noda fundamentally refuses to draw Hanazawa in a position different from his death portrait.

Also he cut the part in which Kikuta said that it’s not rare for girls to search for marriage without involving their parents and placed the remaining dialogue in such a way it covered hald of Kaeko’s face.

He expanded the scene in which Sugimoto dresses up as Yuusaku.

The image of the imperial hotel is redrawn.

So we are at chap 276.

Noda adds a flashback image of Sugimoto, Umeko and Toraji...

...and expanded Kikuta’s scolding.

Then he added a scene showing where Sugimoto was standing and in which Kikuta explains the origins of his habit of loothing things.

He then drastically changes Sugimoto’s interaction with Yuusaku.

The remaining interaction goes as in the manga but now Yuusaku is sweating a lot more.

Noda changed things so that, fter receiving his hat from Tsurumi, Sugimoto doesn’t thank him with an admiring look but in a rushed manner and then escapes.

Then chap 277...

...shich is basically unchanged.

And here comes chap 278…

in which the only change seems to be that now Ogata doesn’t wear his hat when he crosses path with Yuusaku (also Yuusaku is now drawn on the right side).

We have chap 279.

In which Yuusaku’s face is heavily shaded when he opens ‘his’ eyes, the next panel basically showing Asirpa in his position, better implying Sugimoto is seeing Asirpa in Yuusaku.

Noda also added a spread showing the scenery.

As the bit of Asirpa was placed sooner, now it’s absent from this chapter and we just have Hijikata saying to wait as he seems to realize something.

And so we’ve reached chap 280.

Noda changed a little the features of the spy who should have received Kikuta’s message and added more details to the poor guy who collected it instead.

Overall scenery and characters are detailed better in the volume.

There’s even a tiny drawn of Ueji when the text in a box mentions him.

We finish with a tiny image of Kikuta and a young Sugimoto thanking the editor.

And that’s all for this volume.

I remember everyone this was a quick overview and I might have missed something, especially in the dialogues which I didn’t really check.

As usual Noda improved it in a relevant manner so, if you like “Golden Kamuy”, you might prefer buying it to the magazine version.

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zandracourt · 2 years

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Meta on Steve’s Virginity

OK, clearly writing a fic about this didn’t get it out of my system (it helped) but few things bother me more than when the MCU gets lazy.

I want to be clear that my issue is not that hooking up with one or more USO ladies isn’t realistic. It’s hella realistic for 99% of the het-male population. It isn’t realistic for how the MCU characterized Steve in CA:TFA and every film after. Steve’s virginity prior to Project: Rebirth, at least in terms of women, is established clearly in the film. Being annoyingly hetero-normative is something we overlook for this film since his obsession with Bucky won’t begin until CA:WS. He shares his virginity status privately with Peggy in moment that both serves to establish an intimacy between them but also demonstrates that he already has feelings for her. After the serum, he goes on tour but Peggy still exists in his world and the whole point of his character is that his values don’t change when his body does. Therefore, the value that he wants to find “the right partner” would go with him on tour too. That scene establishes that finding someone who is right for him; someone he loves or at least has strong feelings for is part of who he is. Nothing about Steve has indicated he’s a one-night stand kind of guy and he has no attachments when the USO tour arrives in Europe.

The rest of his romantic arc in CA:TFA shows him continuing to carry strong feelings for Peggy, yet not presuming she returns them. He asks about her and Howard with genuine curiosity, wanting to see if they are in a relationship before revealing too much of himself. It is clear in his behavior that his interest in Peggy is profound, but he his protecting himself. His hesitation and inexperience are noticeable not only to Howard but Peggy as well. They read (and we the audience do as well) that as evidence Steve still has not had a relationship with a woman. Could he have had sex once? Yes, but why? Why would he do that when everything else about him shows that being with someone he LOVES matters to him?

When Peggy catches him being kissed by another woman (something we know he did not initiate and appears startled/flustered by), all he cares about is ensuring Peggy knows he doesn’t sleep around (like the other soldiers she accuses him of being) and his actions after that are intended to prove to her the kind of man he is; specifically NOT a guy who fucks around.

That sexual ethic/value is further established in subsequent movies. In CA:WS, his on-going banter with Natasha has her trying to set him up on dates. DATES. And he consistently shuts her down. If he was a guy who enjoyed finding opportunities for sex without relationship, why not let her find him women to date? When she accuses him of not kissing anyone since 1945, he bristles, but more because of the implied inexperience and her telling him he needs practice, which he strongly objects to. All of these scenes point to both his sensitivity about his inexperience AND that even with her pressure, he doesn’t want sex or physical intimacy for its own sake but does want someone he can love and is willing to wait until he finds that.

When we see him ask Sharon for coffee and she gently turns him down, he completely steps back. Everything in his body language reveals that asking her out was something he worked up to and when she said no, he’s not only gracious and accepting, we sense his disappointment and retreat. His attitude towards her later, after he learns she’s SHIELD, further emphasizes that she was someone he has feelings for. He liked her. A Lot. And now he feels betrayed. These feelings ring true to us because we know he doesn’t fall for someone easily, so when he does, we understand that person means something to him. Otherwise, why would he feel betrayed by her pretending to be his neighbor?

Steve’s advice to Bruce about Natasha was, “As the King of waiting too long, don’t” The implication to Bruce (the audience) is that this advice comes from his regrets with Peggy, implying he didn’t get more involved with her (i.e. sleep with her) when he had the chance. Does that mean he’s a virgin at that moment? No. But it does establish that his values around sex and love are still very present. That scene sets that his sexual ethic is: if you are in love or have feelings for someone, have sex with them. By this point, Steve has people in his life he demonstrably cares for and is close to, so it is fully reasonable that he could have had sex with any of them because it’s the connection that matters, not marriage.

Which comes to my BIGGEST problem with how this all comes up in She-Hulk. By this time within the MCU, Steve lived in modern times for 11 years before dying/disappearing. The only marker that might convey to anyone that Steve is a virgin is that he disappears having never been married. WHICH IS A STUPID BAROMETER TO USE and not one Steve himself uses. It makes NO SENSE for Jennifer Walters have any questions about his virginity because she would have no more reason to believe he’s a virgin than she would have for Sam, Bucky, Thor, Natasha, Wanda, Rhodes, T’Challa, Carol, Dr. Strange, even Bruce (aside from asking him). Even if she assumed that Steve was a virgin prior to Project: Rebirth because he was small, he’s still his full Cap self for at least two years during the war and then out of the ice for 11.

What the public (meaning Jennifer or any one else within the MCU) DO know about him:

Newsreels from the early 1940’s showing him carrying Peggy’s picture in his compass.

Peggy herself taping interviews about Steve’s importance in her life.

Two years on the run with Natasha

Sharon being exiled for helping him.

His living at Avengers Compound post-snap with Natasha.

It’s far more realistic that people would presume he was romantically involved with all three women, or at the very least, with one of them and therefore not question his adult sexual status any more than they would any of the other Avengers. His opportunity for sex literally double if you factor in the men he becomes close with.

Scott is canonically divorced, Tony and Clint are married. Other than that, everyone else is not, yet no one is drawing pictographs about their virginity. No one else’s sexual experience (or lack of it) is ever mentioned, not even Peter’s.

In fact, the only people who have reason to wonder about Steve’s virginity are the people viewing the movies and that’s only because we had confirmation of his virginity in a scene that only includes him and Peggy. Steve is emphatically not a virgin in the comics, so movie canon is the only place it’s clearly established and even then, only to Peggy.

Which brings us to this coming up in She-Hulk where they break the fourth wall twice. To me, that was an artistic choice by this series specifically to indicate fan acknowledgement. For the first time, they know we are watching. And their first “fan-service” question is focused on Steve’s virginity.

I believe they chose that because Steve’s virginity, along with when/where/with whom he loses it IS a signficant topic of both fanfic and fan discourse for Cap fans. However, if you’re going to take on such a fan-loaded topic, you better bring your A-game because we’ve already analyzed it six ways from forever so tossing it off as a random one-night stand is not only hugely out of character for how Steve has already been presented, but it does’t further any relationships Steve already has, which is the ONLY reason fans even care about the topic. They don’t want to know this as point of trivia (which is what we were given) but as the validation of who Steve loves because he wouldn’t sleep with anyone he doesn’t love.

Further, Steve “dying a virgin” is not something any fan believes because by the time credits roll on Endame, Steve is wearing a wedding ring, so the audience knows he’s had sex and by the time the lights lift, we know he had sex with Peggy. As for his sexual partners up until that point, fans take their pick based on their favorite ‘ship. Who was first doesn’t matter because he’s had plenty of time to get busy with several people with whom he has established, intimate and close connection as well as opportunity: Bucky, Peggy, Tony, Natasha, Sam, and Sharon. All are reasonable within movie canon and one is definitively established as a sexual partner.

What makes zero sense within canon is to have him fuck an unnamed USO dancer in 1943 just to lose his V-card.

#captain america #MCU #Meta #Spoilers #She-Hulk #Steve Rogers

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molinaskies · 3 years

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On Sonic's Emotional Characterization

Sonic X Episode 39 - Sonic and Eggman solo conversation

So, I’ve finally gotten around to watching the original Japanese cut of Sonic X after being raised on the English dub, and I know I’m not the first to say that the original is superior to any other version. I was pretty certain I felt this way for a while into watching, but the above scene solidified this opinion.

This scene in its intended state is so important to the show as it, for the first clear and objective time thus far, reminds you that Sonic’s still a kid despite having the world on his shoulders.

It also showcases that Eggman is an extremely complex villain with boundaries and limits that he will never violate, but that’s not the point I want make right now.

Right now, I want to focus on Sonic’s feelings, because (and this is no secret) Sonic Team used this show to show that Sonic has them – we’re just almost never allowed to see them.

Sonic enjoys the genuine quality time the current adventure forces him to have with his long-time friends – time he normally wouldn’t take out daily because he’s not one to adorn such vulnerability. He’s the kind of person who takes what he gets without impeding his own lifestyle or going out of his way, which works for him because he knows he gets to see his friends again but having everyone live under the same roof and bond on a level never reached before has clearly affected him in a positive way. Once they return home, our core group will go back to their normal lives and that closeness won’t be so easily accessible – in a way, Sonic will be forced to face his emotions more directly and admit to himself just how much his friends mean to him (a thought that scares him because of the life they all live, and how high the stakes are).

The other half of this idea are Sonic’s new human friends, especially Chris, who Sonic knows he’ll never see again once their worlds divide. The Thorndyke and Co. hospitality is heartwarming and tender, which anyone would likely enjoy and appreciate, but also extremely practical as Chuck is intelligent and insightful, Ella and Tanaka are supportive and encouraging, and Chris is decisive and caring. Despite his recklessness and tendency to cause trouble, Chris saves Sonic’s life multiple times because he’s so quick and willing to act.

Allow me to also outline how immensely different Chris’s character is in the original cut. He’s less whiney, more level-headed, and experiences a lot more growth as a character and showcases a lot of internal moral turmoil – he’s no longer a plot device to give Sonic grief (his Japanese voice actor, alone, helps a lot). Chris’s big moments in the show (appealing to Shadow in the SA2 arc, breaking free from Eggman’s trap to take the Chaos Emeralds away from the Egg Fort II) actually feel natural and true to his character because he has a lot more of these moments on a smaller scale in the original cut (emotional dialogue is significantly changed or outright removed in the English dub). The bond between Chris and Sonic, here, is genuine and more realistic because of this improved characterization. The adoration and platonic love and care between these characters actually have ample time to develop because Chris’s natural dialogue gives his character and this dynamic more time to shine. I come to bat for Chris because Sonic’s justifiable connection to him is extremely important.

The reason that Eggman confronts Sonic on this front is that he recognizes the bond Sonic’s formed with Chris and his other friends, Sonic’s overall emotional immaturity, and the fact that preparing to take action now will save Sonic, his friends, and both dimensions a lot of grief in the long run. You can argue that this entire encounter is undone by the next episode, where Eggman’s moon repairs turn out to be a plot to trick everyone into adoring him, but I’d argue that Eggman could have bluffed his way through this conversation without commenting on the fact that they need to return home (hell, that’s what the English dub does, and it works well enough as an excuse). In fact, Eggman didn’t even need to have this conversation, period, but he does, and this is why.

I’m compelled to share these thoughts because I’ve seen a lot of contention lately around Sonic’s characterization - namely the fact that Sonic is intended to be an “emotionally awkward, shy, and reserved” character (in main-line canon or otherwise). I’ve seen this commentary mostly in the IDW-sphere, where Sonic (per SEGA direction) is the nicest he’s ever been – to a fault, by design – and where he’s displayed a “softer” relationship with Amy. These factors, I’ve seen argued, make IDW and Sonic X (regardless of the cut) inauthentic characterizations of Sonic. I, however, find this entirely unfair.

As confident and collected of a character as Sonic is, he has always been a character who feels so, so, so immensely. What recent English game scripts butcher and what a lot of people seem to miss outright is that Sonic is highly emotional but doesn’t have the emotional maturity to comfortably process or showcase his more negative (anger, sadness, fear) and complex (romantic love, admiration) emotions. He knows they’re there, but usually refuses to address them. We see signs of these feelings in games and external media, but – again, by design – Sonic suppresses those feelings to focus on what he loves - his speed, his freedom, world peace, and his friends.

Something else important to note is that Sonic’s emotional intelligence is unparalleled to anyone else’s in the series (besides, maybe, Amy, Rouge, or even Eggman). Sonic has proved consistently his ability to diagnose emotions in others and will address his own complex emotions to empathize only when it will directly benefit someone else. Sonic’s advice to Merlina at the end of Black Knight is a wonderful example of this; other examples include Sonic’s insight on Chaos’ emotions in the final story of SA1, IDW issue 1 where he recognizes Tails’ hesitance, Sonic’s willingness to support Chris through his meltdown near the end of Sonic X season two (where they run away for some time before Sonic returns home), and when Sonic hones in on Rouge, who is portrayed as being impacted the most by Shadow’s existence and character, at the end of SA2 to comfort her and give her Shadow’s ring.

In fact, SA2’s ending also showcases Sonic’s tendency to focus less on himself (especially in front of others) when Amy checks in on him while he’s reflecting on his own; his immediate response is to suppress.

Sonic is a fifteen-year-old with the responsibility of the world’s peace and his found family’s happiness on his shoulders. He bears that burden alone and it clearly affects him, but he’s not at a point in his life where he’s ready to confront his heart. He just knows that it’s big, that it’s in the right place, and that it’ll be there for him when he’s ready. Whether that’s Sonic’s healthiest option can be debated, and I’d argue that he should let the people he wants to be closer to him in (Amy is a strong example, but that’s another essay that’s been done to death – perhaps another time), but the fact that he’s an emotional and reserved character is not.

TL;DR - please watch Japanese Sonic X. It’s so much better. Also, Sonic is a softie, confirmed.

I wrote a sequel to this topic discussing where Sonic's emotional troubles come from if you're ready for another novella.

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blarfkey · 3 years

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Tips on Beta-ing Fic in Fandom

Hello! So I’ve noticed from some of my experiences and the experiences of others that not everyone fully understands how to beta a fic or how to ask for a beta reader.

And I get it. Editing is a delicate process, it's terrifying to ask someone to look at your work, and it's equally terrifying to feel responsible for the quality of someone else’s writing.

So I decided to write up a little guide. I enjoy being a beta reader and learned how to while I got my minor in creative writing and through participation in many writer workshops but being a good beta doesn’t require an education like that. A lot of bad experiences I’ve seen or heard about could be avoided with communication and basic courtesy.

More under the cut:

First of all, there are different levels of editing that require different levels of depth and commitment. A lot of issues crop up when two people have a different idea of what’s expected. So here is a way of looking at the different levels.

1. SPAG (SPelling And Grammar): This is the most basic level and has the least amount of time commitment. The beta looks for issues in grammar and spelling such as: comma rules, homophones, run on sentences, anything that obscures meaning, ect. This is the easiest level to ask for since it requires a basic read through and no knowledge of canon or characters or the fandom at all. If you are with a new beta whom you don’t know well, I would start with just this level.

2. Flow and Efficiency: this gets a little deeper into SPAG. A beta on this level would flag passages that slow down the pace of the story, words that are repeated too often, dialogue that doesn’t make sense or sounds awkward, pronoun confusion, sentence/paragraph order, ect. This requires more time and re-reading the fic more than once to do a thorough job.

3. Characterization: This deals with how in character your dialogue and actions feel in your story. If you’re writing a character for the first time or you don’t have a full understanding of them in canon, it can be helpful to ask a writer well versed in writing that character to take a look at your characterization. This does require more of a commitment than the others and you need to communicate with each other to discuss what seemed out of character and why and what alternatives could be taken instead.

4. Plot and Story: This is the biggest commitment for a beta and not something you ask a person to do real quick or even ask a person to do if you don’t know them very well. This type of editing asks someone to look at the story overall and see what is working and what is not working as far as plot goes.

Did the writer develop the story in a way that makes sense, did they lay down the seeds of the development throughout the fic, are they sticking to a theme, are they contradicting themselves throughout the fic, did they repeat a scene, ect? For multi-chapter fics, this requires a long term beta/writer relationship over the course of each chapter update.

You should not ask someone brand new to beta at this level for an update chapter, especially if they haven’t read your other chapters first or aren’t familiar with your writing. This level requires an immense amount of trust between beta and author and a huge time commitment for a beta.

~~~

Now that we understand the different levels of editing, here are some common courtesy guidelines for both authors and betas:

Author:

1. Decide beforehand what level you want your fic to be beta’d for. Communicate clearly exactly what you want your beta to look for and at what level you would like them to edit. You don’t have to use my guideline above exactly, but be clear if you want deeper edits than SPAG, for example. And understand that deeper edits, such as on structure and plot and characterization, require a lot of commitment on behalf of the beta reader. It’s understandable if they do not or are unable to give you that level of commitment so be clear about it upfront.

2. Be clear on your deadline of when you want this done.

3. Be clear on the length, pairing/characters involved, rating, and major content warnings when asking for a beta.

4. If you share a google doc, do not let any beta have full editing privileges. Even if you trust them, you won’t be able to see all the changes they make so you can learn from your mistakes. Keep the restrictions to commenter only.

5. Be upfront and honest about how sensitive you are to different kinds of feedback. Especially if you’ve been hurt in the past, be honest about what feedback you do not want.

6. Remember, you do not have to change everything a beta suggests. This is your story and even though they’ve done you a favor, it's ultimately your decision and judgement on your own fic.

That being said, you don’t need to argue with a beta about their suggestions. If you don’t agree with most or all of their ideas, they are not the beta for you. Thank them for their time and then follow through with your own suggestions or find a different beta.

Beta/Editor: Here are some basic courtesy rules you should follow when you are beta-ing.

1. Do not engage with fic that makes you uncomfortable, even if you want to be kind to a friend. Your reluctance shines through in your efforts and it does not end well for anyone. If you start a fic and then find you are uncomfortable with it, politely tell your author that you cannot continue. Do not do so in a way that shames their fic. You do not have to go into personal reasons why you cannot finish the fic, just tell them you are unable to do so.

2. Stick to the deadline you agreed to. If something comes up, let the author know as soon as possible so they can find someone else, especially if they are on a publishing schedule or have an exchange deadline.

3. Word all your non-spelling edits as suggestions, not commands. Ultimately any changes are the author’s decision and up to their discretion so it comes off as very rude and controlling when you use commands, as if you naturally know better than the author does at telling their own story. This also means that you should not change anything in the document without telling the author if they have given you full edit access on a google doc or word doc, ect.

Some ways of phrasing you can use to make suggestions:

A. “Could” and “can” instead of “should” and “need”.

For example: For example, Maybe you could move this paragraph to the beginning because of ____ reason instead of You need to move this paragraph to the beginning.

B. “I think” at the beginning of a suggestion, so it's clear it's your opinion and nothing else.

I think this paragraph works better at the front of the chapter rather than the end.

C. “Maybe” with a question mark.

This is one of my favorites. Think of it like brainstorming with someone. Maybe you could move this paragraph to the front of the chapter? Maybe X Character could do Y instead?

4. Always explain why you would make a change to story, flow, or characterization so the author understands your intent and reasoning.

5. Do not judge someone’s writing. This is their story and their ideas. Do not try to steer the plot in the direction you would want to take it, do not kinkshame any of their smut, do not criticize their story/pairing choices because they aren’t to your tastes. The goal is to improve what they already have, not change it to match what you personally like.

6. Do not offer only critical feedback without something positive. This is very important. Even if you are just at level one SPAG, leave a comment or highlight a passage, turn of phrase, line of dialogue that you enjoyed or leave a note at the bottom of something you think they did well.

Asking for critical feedback is terrifying, and if there is not a balance of positive and constructive feedback, authors can be discouraged from writing further if they think all they write is bad or needs work.

The way I did it in writing workshops is that I put every negative comment in between two positive comments. This might be unrealistic for beta, but you cannot beta a fic without leaving any positive feedback at all.

~~~

Communication and clear expectations go a long way in a good author/beta relationship. It helps to find someone whose fic they have written or bookmarked align with your own tastes if you want deeper edits. Make sure you have similar ideas on characterization, head-canons, interpretations of canon lore.

At the end of the day, however, it’s fanfiction. It is written for free and for fun. Little things that would not cut it in professional publication can slide in an fanfic and there should not be pressure to make a fic as perfect as a professional, published piece unless the author gives you that explicit expectation.

Please comment or send an ask/message if you have any questions about beta-ing!

#fandom #beta #beta readers #editing #fic editing #fanfiction #fic

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raayllum · 1 year

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Hello! It's been a day since S4, how we feeling? Personally, I think it was a pretty good season, (a little fast-paced, but that's probably just me) except for maybe one thing; Rayla. I feel like Rayla was kinda weirdly written this season. Like seriously, for two episodes after she appeared, me and my sister were convinced that her behavior was "off" and really thought she was a fake until ep.4. Sure, I was glad it was the real Rayla, but it doesn't change the fact that I thought her behavior seemed unnatural. Maybe the whole Fake Rayla theory is what made me cautious about her behavior. Perhaps months of Rayllum angst accidentally set an expectation, or maybe I'm just missing something. EXTRA: This is kinda nitpicky, but given how Rayla lied to Callum about going to find Viren together in TTM, I feel that Callum should've helped Rayla chase Viren down at the end of the season, but that's my opinion.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Honestly Rayla’s mix of nerves, heartbreak, forced casualty and trying to cheer her way through it reminded me a lot of her arrival back at the Silvergrove + how she tried to cover things up in 2x09 when she was awkward and flustered ( “You’re even looking cheery!” → “You look nice, Callum”)

Another thing that I think about sometimes but haven’t really meta’d about is that is that like the biggest instances where Rayla apologizes to Callum in show (1x02 when she thinks she has to kill him, and 2x03 in the aftermath of finding out about Harrow) particularly the former is that Rayla is worried and scared that Claudia and Soren will hurt him and Ezran. It’s not just a matter of their relationship being at stake (although that terrifies her too) but also that if it breaks, she will not be able to effectively protect him and Ezran. And I think that adds a layer to her desperation that we don’t talk about a lot, and I also think it’s interesting how much that similar desperation (chasing after him in ways she almost never does at any other point in the series, some expressions, etc) of those surrounding scenes mirrors her body language and behaviour in 4x03 despite not having the same amount of like, literal stakes

If you are interested in more thoughts on Rayla’s characterization in S4 I will direct to you this post! A Rayllum focused follow up to touch on things I didn’t get as much of a chance to (i.e. the “I know” 4x09 scene in particular) should be coming in the next few weeks (unless I am a mad man and commit to it this weekend or something)

But to write the short form, I think Callum didn’t go after her for a few complicated, interrelated emotional reasons

1) Callum realizing that he can’t change this part of Rayla, to a degree. This is something that will always be a part of her. I think that’s why his look here mirrors his sad gaze in 2x07 - and he’s undeniably sad in 4x09 - because whereas before he was sad that she had left, he’s sad now that she’s already gone. He tried in TTM and it didn’t work.

2) Additional growth in some ways in Callum realizing if Rayla is taking on a dangerous and/or self destructive path, he doesn’t have to follow her down. (Or at least he can try not to, but more on that in the final point)

3) In TTM, Rayla wasn’t really trying to move on (and for her own understandable reasons) and that’s one of the big changes in S4 where she is trying to see if she can Let Go. The answer is no. Likewise, Callum is also attempting to see if he can let go, since again: she’s hurt him very deeply. And if he can watch her walk away now (the fact she tells and waits for him to respond first, too, I think means a lot) than he can close himself down in a way that she won’t be able to hurt him. A final test to see if he can do it

And he can’t, of course. So then he finally lets himself fully run after her / to her, the way he always has

#thanks for asking #gigifreaks #s4 #arc 2 #4x09 #mini meta #requests #rayllum #the only scene that seemed Off to me at first was rayla leaving again in 4x03 in the morning (as well as callum's response to it)#altho again i can see how and why it works #and then of course her 'you can't save everyone' scene in 4x05 which has lived rent free in my head every day since and #is absolutely supposed to be 100% jarring tbh

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the-badger-mole · 3 years

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Let's say you're on the writing team for Avatar when it was just an idea Bryke had. They've stepped back, letting the writers do what they do best. While Bryke certainly offer suggestions, they don't try shoehorning in their ideas.

What aspects of canon would you change and keep the same??

Would you have elements of a one-sided Kat@@ng, with Aang learning to let Katara go, or not have it at all??

If you were to write Aang as a character you actually liked, how would you do it??

Oh! I like this ask. Bet! Get a snack, because this is a long one.

In Book 1, I would keep Aang pretty much the same, but I would frame certain things he did the way they should have been framed. Like his whole deal on Kyoshi, leaving Katara to do all the work so he could flirt. That would have much more of an impact on his friendship with her. Subtle at first, but it would be the first blow against Kataang. Katara would gradually over the course of that first season have to confront the fact that she's pinned all her hopes of ending the war on a child. I think that making her face that reality would open the door to more conversations about how he felt about what the world expected him to do, and that would in turn lead to Katara helping Aang to face what happened at the siege on the NWT, and what he was being trained to do honestly.

Book 2 would be where Aang is confronted with his duty as the Avatar and what "ending the war" would mean. By this point, he knows in no uncertain terms that he's expected to kill Ozai at the very least, and his crisis of conscience happens here, and this is where he would start trying to figure out alternatives. At the same time, the people he's meeting talk to Aang and his friends honestly about what they've experienced in the war- famine; disease; loss of homes; seeing loved ones suffer and die brutally.

It all has an effect on Aang, and makes him cling tighter to Katara. Katara interprets it as platonic and doubles down on mothering Aang, even trying to shield him from the worst of the realities of the war as much as she can. When Aang tells his friends once again that he isn't sure if he can kill Ozai, someone snaps at him- Sokka I think- and tells him how the war has affected all of his friends personally, and that they don't have the luxury of feeling bad about Ozai dying, and what did Aang really think the army they were trying to gather was going to do on the battlefield, have a tickle fight (yeah...this feels like a Sokka moment). Here is where Aang finds out about Kya, I think.

Aang still goes to (the much less racist version of) Guru Pathik, and still fails to let go of his attachment to Katara. Zuko and Katara still have that moment in the caves. I haven't decided if Zuko still turns on them- on the one hand, I do think him joining the Gaang here could work. on the other hand, I think he needed to go home and see how much it doesn't fit him anymore. I could go either way. Aang still gets shot by the lightning and Katara still saves him.

As Aang and his friends travel through the Fire Nation, they spend more time with the poorest citizens. They find out how much they've suffered because of the war, and how much they also want it to end. Katara's stint as the Painted Lady lasts much longer, and she becomes a sort of urban legend, which may or may not get back to Caldera. If Zuko is on their side at this point, they start planting the seeds of rebellion on the promise of ending the war (none of the FN citizens know who he is of course). The Footloose episode doesn't happen. It's stupid and adds nothing. Instead, there's more focus on the propaganda and fear the FN leaders are spreading and finding out that there's already a rebellion brewing among certain pockets of the people. Piando plays a much bigger role in this season. He knows who they are, and helps connect them with a growing resistance movement.

Aang is still hung up on Katara, and still hasn't told them that he can't enter the AS or why. On the DoBS, he figures it won't matter since neither he nor Ozai can use firebending anyway. He keeps it too himself, and lies to his friends about being prepared to kill Ozai (well...not so much lying as telling them he's going to do what he has to and letting them assume). He still kisses Katara. They still lose this battle. The adults still sacrifice themselves for the kids to getaway.

When they get to the Air Temple, things get heated with Aang and Katara. Aang tries to run off and go play immediately, but this time, Katara lets him have it. She reminds him that she just lost her father again because he and so many other people surrendered to give them the chance to escape. She lays into him about his laziness and disregard for the people around him and tells him that he needs to shape up, or he'd get everyone killed. She becomes a lot stricter with his training at this point. Not cruel, but she's a lot less likely to tell Toph or Zuko to go easy on him, and she raises her expectations for his waterbending.

Aang gets his feelings hurt and he goes off by himself deep into the temple. He finds writings on AN culture and philosophy and actually begins learning about his people. He learns about airbending techniques he never learned. Some of it is clearly meant for battle. Aang learns that his people's views on the sanctity of life and killing aren't as black and white as he'd believed. This is also where he gets a hint of energy bending.

The Firebending Masters, Boiling Rock, and TSR still happen. Mai does not rescue Zuko and Co- that was something that never made sense to me. But then, most of Mai's characterization after CoD makes no sense to me. She's a character that needs a redo, too.

Katara and Zuko get closer during this time. Same as they do in the show. It's not quite yet a crush on either of their sides, but a lot more focus is given to the development of their friendship. They quickly become each other's go-to person in the group for support and to just hang out. Aang sees this and does not like it. It also makes his reaction to the play make a lot more sense, because he's already starting to suspect there's something between them. He confronts Katara about his feelings for her, her feelings for Zuko, and the kiss they never talk about. Katara says she doesn't really know how she feels about any of it, and she doesn't think this is the time or place to talk about it. Aang kisses her again. It's bad. Katara probably hit him this time. They don't talk alone again.

Aang is once again confronted with the expectation that he's going to kill Ozai. He has to this time, because Ozai is going to be at the height of his power, and won't hesitate to cancel Aang's subscription to Life. His friends finally realize he never actually intended to kill Ozai on DoBS, and demand to know what his plan is now. He still hasn't got one. He still hasn't told his friends about the AN philosophy scrolls he found at the air temple. He still insists that he can't in good conscience kill Ozai. Then his friends point out that millions more people will die if he doesn't. Aang goes off, gets kidnapped by the lionturtle and has the conversation with the past Avatars. They tell him he not only should kill Ozai, but he also has to let Katara go so he can use the Avatar State. Aang doesn't want to do either. Then the lionturtle gives him another way. Energy bending

The lionturle's way has consequences, though, and Aang is informed upfront that energy bending would bind him to whoever he used it on, and that it's influence was corrupting. If Aang wasn't careful, he could become as big a threat to the balance of the world as any Fire Lord had ever been. Aang doesn't understand that warning. He chooses energy bending and goes off to face Ozai.

It does not go well. There is no Rock of Destiny to magically give Aang access to the AS. There is just hyperpowered Ozai- with his decades of experience bending, and Aang, whose firebending is also strengthened, but who can't control his power as well as his opponent. He tries some of the battle techniques he read about in his scrolls. He hasn't got them down either, and some of them just feed Ozai's flames, but he manages to trap Ozai in a ball of air and suffocate him and the fire. He doesn't kill Ozai. He just leaves him disoriented long enough to energy bend him. Battle's over.

Aang brings Ozai back to Caldera, expecting to be hailed as a hero. He isn't at first, but then Iroh, Hakoda and other older and wiser people agree that it's better that Ozai gets to stand trial for his crimes. He ends up being sentenced to die anyway. Aang is furious, and then he discovers that some of his anger is Ozai's. He's bound to Ozai and now Aang has to work really hard not to let that bit of Ozai influence his personality. It's difficult, because Aang is genuinely angry enough that he can't tell what's his feelings and what is Ozai. Aang is now dealing with the fact that despite being the Avatar, people aren't willing to take him seriously, and won't not kill Ozai. He also has still not gotten over his crush on Katara and can't control the AS. On top of that Katara tells him that she doesn't feel the same way about him, and later he finds out that she's fallen for Zuko. Hard. Stupid hard. Like, they've already decided to get married in a few years, hard.

It's a bad time to be Aang. Book 3 would end with him being overwhelmed by his hurt, disappointment, and anger. Roku comes to him and suggests that he go back to Guru Pathik and learn from him. And so the last scene is Aang slipping away without telling anyone he's leaving. Toph may or may not join him. IDK.

#atla #atla critical #alternate version #not really #anti aang #but i know some people still won't like this so...#aang's arc could have been so interesting #imagine a world where he had to face the darkness inside of him #idk this universe might end with taang #i don't ship it but it might work here #zutara #because you KNOW once those two figure out they're in love they'd want to be together forever #they'd be the Crofts of the ATLA universe #persuasion reference #background jane austen au #anti kataang

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estherruth-jonsatrash · 3 years

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Fic writer game

tagged by @esther-dot thank you! This seems fun!

How many works do you have on AO3? 22

What’s your total AO3 word count? 247,946

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Just the one--Jonsa/GoT/ASOIAF.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

To Meet As Wolves: When Prince Jon Targaryen is sent by his aunt to treat with Sansa Stark, the Queen in the North, in hopes of getting the North to bend and rejoin the Six Kingdoms, he has the opportunity to learn about his mother's family. He never expected to fall in love.

Changes Come Like Winter: When Ned Stark kills Lady and has to face his daughters--especially Sansa--he begins to think he'll need more help in King's Landing. Jon receives the raven at Castle Black to go south before he's taken his vows. He will do anything to protect his sisters, no matter how painful watching Joffrey and Sansa together might be.

The Madness of Dead and Broken Things: Jon gives into his feelings for Sansa the night before the Battle of the Bastards, telling himself he'll die the next day. He isn't prepared for the after of survival.

I Need You in My Arms: After finishing a prison sentence for manslaughter for Ramsay Bolton's death, Jon is determined to make his half-sister, Sansa, his. But will things go according to plan?

Only Sansa: Jon knows what has to be done and he won't hesitate to protect Sansa.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Unfortunately, I usually do not! I started out trying to respond to every comment, but that just became overwhelming to me and I couldn’t really do it. I also started to feel like responding to comments slowed down my writing, and I figured quicker updates might be preferable to readers. I at least try to answer if someone asks a question. Please know if you comment and I don’t respond, I did read it and it meant the world to me and I love you! My not responding in no way reflects indifference or anything--I love getting comments! My ADHD-brain just makes it hard to respond to every one.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I wasn’t entirely sure because I try to just have happy endings. I Think I See It Coming ends on a somewhat angsty note, but it’s angst with hurt/comfort, and it’s part of a larger series so I don’t know how much that counts?

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? I’ve never written a crossover!

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes. I had someone write “fuck Sansa and fuck you” in all caps on one fic, and another where someone commented about how I was mean to Dany in To Meet As Wolves. Those comments were from a Dany stan who started trolling Jonsa fics with any criticism of Dany and I deleted their first and second comments, which seemed to give them the message.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes. I’m not sure I understand what is meant by what kind? Male/female, all Jonsa as all my fics are Jonsa. Some is more romantic but a lot of it is just graphic and makes me blush to write it ;). Let’s just say “I’m going to hell“ is tagged on at least two of my fics (and probably could stand to be on more) for a reason!

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

What’s your all time favorite ship? Jonsa, obvi! Never has another ship captivated me in such a way or inspired me to write fanfic.

Whats a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I’m not entirely sure because I always try to finish if I start something. One WIP that I haven’t posted on AO3 but posted a little of here, A Selfish Man, may not be one I finish because it’s got some dubcon elements. If it’s on AO3, I expect myself to finish it eventually.

What are your writing strengths? It is hard for me to pick writing strengths if I’m honest. I think maybe dialogue, characterizations, or occasionally setting up a scene’s environment.

What are your writing weaknesses? Probably plot.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I only speak English so it’s not something I do, though I’m cool with it if other writers do (though hopefully there are translations!).

What was the first fandom you wrote for? At the risk of being a broken record: Jonsa, Jonsa, Jonsa.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? I’ve got a special place in my heart for all my fics. But if I had to choose I think it would be Your Rage and Mine, which is nowhere near as popular with others as it is with me, a modern mob and incest au that completely panders to me. Dark Jonsa? Mob? Actual incest? Revenge on LF? Possessive/jealous Jon? Easily the most self-indulgent!

Your Rage and Mine: Sansa is working as a stripper in Petyr Baelish's club when Jon comes to rescue her. After their losses and years apart, Sansa is determined to take Littlefinger down. Jon is determined to help her, and their relationship changes in ways they never expected.

So I don’t really know who to tag or who has already done this so sorry if it’s annoying anyone and no pressure! @vivilove-jonsa, @amymel86, @ben-barnes-is-my-husband, @man-in-yell0w and anyone else who wants to play!

#jonsa #jonsa fam #my fic writing #tagging games

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