#also sorry this is probably like... super incoherent for EVERYONE but. i hope you enjoy seeing my justification for a really bad purchase l
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like... to get an idea of what all id need to do. for anyone curious ig and also to just... totally beat the allegations of yucky little beast:
survey the damage... bc shes obviously in VERY bad shape. so id need to see if i could even get her eyes out or if id maybe. need to dremel into them to get them free so i could start on faceup removal
get the eyes out. this is very scary bc of the hot glue and also the mysterious gray substance. if it IS apoxie sculpt like i think it is then good god. thats going to be the worst 7 bucks ive ever spent or smth
clean the head. im really hoping that its dirt and not.. the alternative on the forehead and other parts of the face. if it IS some mold or fungus, ive got pony experience here (as in. i have dealt with that a few times on MLP) so I'm not... too worried? My guess is its surface level grime that should go away w the faceup being removed.
attempt to remove the faceup. the paint rly looks like it goes ALL the way around her head (poor thang) so ill probably test with acetone at the back of her head. for whatever reason i feel very much like her head has to be fragile so id rather test the more strong/easy to use chemical in a lesser seen spot. i really do not want to be scrubbing with rubbing alcohol for 5 years. bc the faceup looks like at LEAST a few layers of paint with a bad sealant so (as someone whos removed two full body resin paint jobs) i know acetone would be quickest (but alcohol is safest. but we will see)
assess the damage AGAIN. i predict that she is severely yellowed (due to the cracks on the cheek) but the question of if it is either just. in those spots where the faceup cracked or if its all over is really unsure. i mainly want to get her to try retrobrighting (which ive done on older MLP with great success and it seems to be something that works for this kind of vinyl as well) on her and just. fix up a doll that is beyond repair for most people lol. from what ive experienced with resin, i think the yellowing could either be all over (and the head was painted to try and hide this. although this clearly did not go well lol, altho i think its a sealant issue and not a paint issue, as it kind of looks like when ive fucked up with MSC (a common sealant for bjds)) or it could be just... shes been in sunlight and where the paint cracked got unevenly yellowed (i experienced this most recently with my big blue boy, where all the blue paint kind of. protected his resin and the non covered parts got more yellow). so its kind of a toss up. or a mysterious third thing you never know.
once shes all clean (which i assume will take a while due to well... how bad of shape that she is in), ill probably sit with it for a few days and then get milliput and sculpt a new nose. this will not be fun for me i think because I just... am not a sculpting fan (funny thing when this project WILL have a lot of sculpting) and much prefer sanding. I'm not too mad about the chin being sanded down (as the original had an INSANELY pointed chin which I really didn't like. I hate sanding vinyl so this works for me) or the eyes being opened (other than.. having to figure out the size on my own and pray for the best). Most of the mods are not... bad to me and are partially why I'm drawn to miss yucky bc like... the diseases but also the fact that the mods do mostly make the head cuter for me
Redo the faceup. I would love to keep the elements of the original with the big eyelashes as I find them cute, but the BIGGEST order of business is eyebrows good god. I'll have to paint over the mod that I did but I'm not super worried about it (maybe falsely I've never painted a vinyl head in full bc I have exactly one vinyl doll) and then hope i can get the head right on the first try. depending on how bad the yellowing is (and if im able to retrobright her to a lighter skin tone, as the body i have is pretty light (altho it doesnt match any skins from this company so. its a whole thing its ok)) i might just paint the whole head (or even come up with a story or reason why its mismatched. I have a lot of heads and bodies like that so I don't mind fully lol). It's just kind of a scary tossup on how bad of shape everything is.
Done <3 i really dont think itll be TOO bad but i also like... think i wont know fully until i get my hands on her if i do. She would be pretty tiny too (as in 45 cm or so, or for the americans, 1.5 ft) but I do love that scale of doll so. it could work.
#twist rambles#bjd posting#im truly thinking abt it bc minus the eyes i do rly have all the parts id need for her?? and i feel bad for her so.#talking myself into horrific purchases IS my passion but I genuinely feel so charmed by her... like i just... its the same as w old ponies#where i go oh. i can fix you so easy and make u feel loved. and so i do. and this is the same case to me... im not super experienced w viny#dolls but i spent a few years in that side of the hobby so ik a bit. im just mainly worried abt the sculpting or... what will be UNDER the#faceup. and trying to size the eyes. and the eyes in general lol#long post#bc it probably is. i love to ramble about my dolls tho... or future scaries. but i think it would be fun and i am in the middle of a few#projects rn so. i might as well.#which reminds me after i finish the horrible thing im reading i need to finish scrubbing my doll... and get superglue on another. i have ha#two boys dismembered bodies on my floor for a few days so. i have to take care of it <- they had to get restrung#also sorry this is probably like... super incoherent for EVERYONE but. i hope you enjoy seeing my justification for a really bad purchase l#lmao. still holding off to see what buyee says on the shipping but... it would be so sillies <- famous last words.
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Sugary Sweet Apologies
Summary: You and Reid never really got along but when he saves your life, you decide to be the bigger person and thank him and hopefully start over. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Content/Warnings: light to mild angst with fluffy ending, swearing, spencer reid being an annoying bitch, brief mentions of case stuff (if you watch cm, you should be fine)
A/N: this is for @willowrose99 ‘s 1 year anniversary on tumblr writing challenge!! congrats! i literally wrote and edited this whole thing in less than one day because i got so excited, anyways i hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 1.8k
“Reid and Y/L/N, go to David Whitney’s house. He was the therapist of two of the three victims. He could have some insight into the victimology and know of any overlap between them. He has no criminal record of past aggressive behavior but we can’t rule him out as a suspect entirely,” Hotch stated.
“Hotch, you stuck me with her yesterday for the geographical profiling. Send Prentiss with her instead,” Spencer whined.
“I don’t mind going with Y/L/N. She is a great partner in the field,” Emily glared at Spencer.
“No. Reid, go with Y/L/N or be taken off this case. I’m a unit chief, not an elementary school teacher. I don’t have time for temper tantrums,” Hotch chided.
“Fine,” Spencer grumbled as you grabbed the keys to an SUV.
You don’t know what it was but ever since you started at the BAU four months ago, Spencer had never liked you which resulted in you disliking him as well. Everyone else on the team was super friendly and welcoming but Reid always was jabbing snarky remarks your way like “I don’t have time to explain it to you” or “This was in the FBI handbook. God, you need more training.”
Luckily, the others were quick to defend you. Once Garcia even heard him snip at you over the phone and as soon as you all got off the elevator after the case, Reid was being dragged by his ear into Garcia’s lair with him going “ow ow ow” behind her. So, you didn’t really pay much mind to him because you could deal with one annoying know-it-all to have such an amazing job with great coworkers minus the one.
“Look, I’m not happy about this either,” you said as you climbed into the driver’s side of the SUV, “But at least I’m not being a whiny bitch about it and being rude to the other person’s face.”
“Oh wow, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings,” Spencer mocked.
“Fuck you, Reid,” you shook your head.
-
David Whitney was on edge the second you arrived and showed him your badges. He was bouncing his leg up and down, he couldn’t sit still, and he kept avoiding eye contact.
He knew way too much about the other victim that wasn’t even one of his clients but you didn’t have anything solid on him. His house seemed very neat so you doubted he kept anything incriminating here. Organized offenders usually have a secondary location. So, you decided to push his buttons a little.
“I mean blitz attacks, leaving the bodies on the side of dirt roads,” you combed through the crime scene photos, “This guy was a real coward.”
Spencer picked up on what you were trying to do and his eyes widened, he was subtly shaking his head and mouthing “no”.
“Excuse me?” David asked.
“Well, I’m just saying a real man wouldn’t cower in the bushes and blindside a woman. He must not be very strong,” you stated, “He probably can’t even get it up.”
Before you even had time to react, David pulled out a switchblade knife from inside the couch cushions and put you in a chokehold, pressing the cool metal up to your throat. You closed your eyes tightly.
“David, you don’t have to do this,” Spencer stood with his gun pointed at you both.
“This bitch insulted me,” he snarled.
“She insults me too. That doesn’t make you any less of a man,” Spencer spoke carefully, “Just put the knife down and I’ll escort you out.”
David sighed, dropping the knife to the floor and releasing you.
Spencer put David in handcuffs and walked him outside as reinforcements came running in.
“Are you okay, Y/L/N?” Hotch asked.
“Yep, a little shaken up but fine. Thank you,” you stood.
“Let’s get you to the medics,” Morgan grabbed your arm to support you as you walked over to the ambulance.
Spencer never checked on you.
-
You knew your decision in the field was a little rash and you wanted to thank Spencer for essentially saving your life.
However, there was no way in hell you could verbally get out an apology while staring at his smug face, but you could bake. You settled on a note tucked inside a tupperware container of your Grandma’s special recipe of chocolate chip cookies. It was a good peace offering, maybe even a chance to start fresh.
During your lunch break, you took the tupperware from your desk drawer and approached the break room where Reid had entered about 5 minutes ago.
“I’m just saying I could not have been more clear in my message to her that it was too dangerous but of course, Y/L/N didn’t listen cause Y/L/N is going to do whatever she feels like,” Spencer stirred his coffee.
No one had noticed you standing in the doorway yet.
“Reid, you’ve got to be nicer to her. She earned her spot here just like the rest of us,” Emily defended you.
“Did she though? How much do we really know about her? She couldn’t even tell me how many pages the FBI protocol manual was,” Spencer said.
“That’s not a normal thing people know,” Morgan retorted.
“Well, I’m just saying the team was perfectly fine before her and it would probably be better off if she left,” Reid finished.
Garcia looked up from her yogurt to see you standing there, “Oh, Y/N”.
Spencer turned around in his chair as you angrily stormed up to him.
“Here’s your cookies, asshole,” you seethed, grabbing the note from inside and crumpling it up into a little ball and tossing it into the trash.
“Y/N!” Emily called after you but you were already gone.
The whole team glared at Spencer and picked up their lunches, leaving him alone at the table.
Spencer retrieved the balled up paper from the trash, having to fish through Rossi’s week old pasta and Anderson’s half eaten tuna fish sandwich.
Dear Reid,
Thank you for saving my life, I guess. These are my Grandma’s secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies so I hope you enjoy. I think we got off on the wrong foot and I would like to start over. I think cases would be a lot less miserable for everyone if we got along.
Thanks again,
Y/L/N
Spencer, you’re such an idiot, he thought to himself.
You never came back after your lunch break ended and Derek made Spencer go tell Hotch why it’s his fault you were missing the rest of the day.
He tried to call you multiple times but they always rang out before going to voicemail.
Spencer hesitantly knocked on Penelope’s door at the end of the day.
“Is she okay?” he asked softly.
“You don’t get to ask that as the person who hurt her in the first place. Also, she told me to tell you that don’t you dare go to her apartment to ‘check on her’. I’m headed over there myself actually,” Penelope collected her things and shut off her monitors.
“Will you at least tell her I’m really sorry?” Spencer followed her to the elevator.
“Absolutely not. I’m not doing any apologizing on your behalf,” Penelope huffed as the elevators shut.
-
You came in the next morning, keeping your head down. You grabbed a pen from your cup holder and the first folder on your stack before getting to work.
You were on the second page of the file when your clean, empty tupperware was placed in front of you plus another baking dish with aluminum foil over the top.
You glanced up to see Spencer guiltily looking down at you and you returned your eyes back to the file.
“I-I made you cinnamon rolls,” Spencer broke the silence.
“Are they poisoned?” you asked, not sparing him another glance.
“No, they’re not poisoned,” he assured you.
“I’m just saying how can I trust you as you have made it very apparent you would like me off this team.”
“I didn’t mean that,” Spencer was quick to reply.
“Then why the hell did you say it, Reid?” you slammed your pen down.
You grabbed your empty coffee mug and briskly walked to the break room but unfortunately, Spencer was right behind you.
“I didn’t eat any of your cookies by the way. Not that I didn’t want to but I felt like I didn’t deserve them so I handed them out to everyone else.”
“Oh how kind, taking credit for my work,” you tried to close the door in his face.
“I told them that they were from you,” Spencer insisted.
You rolled your eyes as Spencer grabbed the coffee pot before you could get to it, pouring your mug of coffee for you.
“What do you want from me, Reid?” you asked defeatedly.
“I want you to try a cinnamon roll and let me explain.”
“Fine but only because I didn’t have breakfast yet and I want to critique your baking skills,” you huffed, walking back to your desk.
Spencer gingerly placed one of the sticky frosting-coated rolls on a napkin and pushed it towards you. You tentatively bit into it. Damn it, it was actually delicious.
“It’s okay,” you understated.
You knew Spencer hardly ever used his kitchen let alone be up baking all night. He even chose a recipe that required more time and effort because the yeast dough would have to rise for a few hours.
“That’s good. The first batch didn’t come out as great...or the second,” he smiled softly.
“Well, the floor is all yours, Reid. Please explain to me why you talk shit about me to my co-workers when I’m in the other room,” you leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.
Spencer muttered something incoherent.
“I have to hear the apology, you know,” you said, enjoying watching him uncomfortable.
“You’re intimidating to me because you’re intelligent, beautiful, and courageous. I think I was a little jealous that my spotlight as the ‘kid’ of the BAU was coming to an end so I said some harsh, completely untrue things and I’m sincerely sorry.”
“Oh my god,” you smirked, “Hotch was right, you are an elementary school kid.”
“In what way?” he curiously asked.
“You like me like like like me. You don’t know how to talk to the girl so you pull her pigtails on the playground,” you giggled.
“I take it back. You’re a horrible profiler,” Spencer was getting up from his seat, completely flustered.
“Awww,” you were laughing at Spencer’s bright red face as he went to go to the break room to fill his coffee mug.
When he got back to his desk, a sticky note was placed front and center.
In typical elementary school fashion…
Will you go get coffee with me?
Check:
Yes
or
No
Spencer smiled before picking up his pen and checking one of the boxes, crumpling the sticky note up into a ball and throwing it over to your desk.
“Good choice. See you Saturday at 9 at the cafe down the street,” you grinned.
“It’s a date,” he smiled.
#willsannievent#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer x reader#reid x reader#spencer reid#cm fanfic#criminal minds
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I love your writing 🥺 Can you do a Sokka imagine where the reader is a firebender so Sokka doesnt take well to her joining the gaang at first, and they always bicker/ throw sarcastic comments at each other and the gaang is so sick of it! But one day they are forced to be alone together (they go on a mission?) and sparks fly n they kiss or something 😳 they return to camp and the gaang is like... ok why r u guys tolerating eachother and u guys r inseparable and super couply from then on!
hi!! sorry i’m just now getting to this!! i like to put lots of effort into my requests so i wanted it to be the best it could be :D hope you enjoy!!
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(Y/N) had always been very proud of her firebending. Not everyone in the town she had grown up in were benders, so being able to bend one of the elements was a great honor. Because of her powers, she was on track to join the Fire Nation military. These plans changed of course, as soon as she met the Avatar and his friends. She had helped them escape capture and joined them on their adventures. They were all pretty hesitant about her joining, but eventually Toph vouched for her by saying that she wasn’t lying when she told them all she had ever wanted was to help people.
(Y/N) had been traveling with their group for a few weeks and was slowly starting to build friendships with the other members of her group. Aang absolutely refused to learn firebending from her, but watched and laughed as she made little dragon puppets out of fire after dinner. She and Toph became fast friends, as they both had a similar wit and nonchalance about life. Katara took a bit to fully warm up to her, but (Y/N) was relentless and eventually they could exchange pleasant conversation as they cooked dinner. Even Appa licked her when she brought him hay, and Momo had started sharing his berries with her. The only person who didn’t like her at all was Sokka.
“I don’t want a firebender joining us,” He had said pointedly when she first joined the group. He had been outvoted, of course, and now whenever (Y/N) did anything, he had something to say in return. If she arranged the sleeping bags, he complained about their positioning. If she made dinner that night, he complained about the taste. It seemed like he went out of his way to make her feel bad.
Initially (Y/N) had tried to understand. The Fire Nation had hurt his people, so it was only natural that he was apprehensive toward her. But then his words started to hurt. One day, he had mentioned that she had betrayed her own people, so it would only be a matter of time until she betrayed them, too, and (Y/N) had had enough. She threw her bowl of soup to the ground and stood up. “What’s your problem?” She demanded.
“My problem is with you,” He spat. “You’re Fire Nation, you can’t be trusted.”
“Don’t you think that if I had even thought about turning you all in to the Fire Lord, I would have done it already?”
“I don’t know what goes on in your little spy brain!”
“I know what goes on in your brain: absolutely nothing!” She let out a frustrated scream and turned on her heel, marching into her tent. The rest of the group stared at Sokka awkwardly.
“She’s such a piece of work,” He grumbled, sipping on his soup. “Can you believe her?”
Over the next few weeks, whenever Sokka said an insult toward (Y/N) she’d shoot one right back. If he wanted to be a pain in her side, fine. She’d be one in his, too.
“You sure your twig arms can handle that firewood?” She asked him as he brought wood for their campfire.
“Hey, at least I’m doing something. What, are you too busy plotting how to take over the world to help?”
Their conversations were just insults and sarcastic quips, and eventually the rest of the group started to get sick of it. One night, as they sat at dinner, (Y/N) and Sokka were bickering because they had been forced to sit beside each other. Toph drove a piece of earth between them and flung them in opposite directions. “Would you guys quit it!” The girl shouted. “I only have four out of the five senses and you guys are driving them all crazy!”
“Sorry, Toph,” (Y/N) apologized, brushing herself off. “You know how he is.”
“Me?” Sokka exclaimed. “Toph, you know how she is!”
“You arrogant, good for nothing--”
“Ow!” Aang shouted, clutching his foot. The group stopped to look at him. “Ow, ow, ow, I think I stepped on something. My foot really hurts!” Katara rushed over to take a look and furrowed her brows.
“I don’t--”
“Oh, Sokka,” Aang sighed. “I don’t think I can go on that mission with you tomorrow, my foot just hurts too bad!” He gave Katara a big wink.
“Oh, of course!” She said, finally getting what Aang was trying to do. “I have to stay here and help Aang heal. I’ll need Toph’s help, too, so (Y/N) is the only one who can go on the mission with you.”
“I’d rather go alone,” Sokka said, crossing his arms.
“Please, how are you going to defend yourself if you don’t have a bender with you?” (Y/N) asked with a roll of her eyes. Sokka balled his fists and stormed off to his tent, mumbling angry, incoherent sentences. (Y/N) yawned and retreated back to her tent for the night.
“I’m not really injured,” Aang said.
“Really?” Toph deadpanned. “Couldn’t tell.”
“I just wanted a break from the two of them. They’re always fighting!”
“Who knows,” Katara said with a smile. “Maybe the trip will bring them closer together.”
The next morning, (Y/N) and Sokka begrudgingly walked side-by-side to their mission. They were doing a stake out of some Fire Navy ships to see what kind of weapons they were storing on them. They climbed up to a tall hillside, where they could comfortably watch the ships. As long as they were quiet, they wouldn’t bring any attention to themselves.
Sokka’s plan was to stay there for a full twenty-four hours. Every time (Y/N) thought about being around him that long, she nearly gagged, but she had to swallow it down because she knew this mission would be for the greater good. Hopefully, there would be more watching than talking.
They set up their tents behind some rocks so they would not look suspicious. And then, they sat. And they sat for a long time. (Y/N) was growing increasingly bored, just watching soldiers go in and out of the ships. She sighed, laying back down on the grass.
“What exactly are we looking for?”
“Nothing.” She propped herself up on her elbows.
“Excuse me?”
“We aren’t looking for anything. Well, not anything specific. I just want to know what kind of weapons they’re using so I can write to the Mechanist to create better ones for us.”
“So...we’re just going to watch?”
“Do you not know what a stake out is?”
“I do! I just didn’t know it was going to be a full day of doing absolutely nothing.”
“Look, if you don’t want to be here, fine. You can go back to the camp. I can handle myself.” (Y/N) scoffed.
“I’m not leaving you here alone, Sokka.”
“Then I suggest you stop complaining.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and reached into her bag. She pulled out two sandwiches and laid them beside her. “What are those?”
“Food,” She said, sliding a sandwich over to him. He took it suspiciously. “It’s not poisoned, you dummy. I got up early this morning and went to the market so I could make stake out snacks.”
“Oh, thanks. I guess.”
“You’re welcome.”
They sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime. (Y/N) watched the soldiers intently and had even made up backstories for some of them. The smaller soldier was named Lee, and he was a fiesty little fellow, but he was a new recruit. He had good ideas, but no one really wanted to listen to him because he lacked authority. (Y/N) sighed as she watched him talk to his commanders. Poor Lee.
“I recognize that one,” she said suddenly, pointing at one of the soldiers. “He and I went to training camp together one summer.”
“Oh, so that’s your friend. Great.” (Y/N) furrowed her brows.
“I never said he was my friend.”
“I just assumed, since you were both all ‘Go Fire Nation!’“ He sarcastically pumped a fist into his air.
“You make a lot of assumptions about me for someone who doesn’t know me.”
“I know exactly who you are. You’re a spoiled girl from the Fire Nation who wasn’t satisfied with her life and only wanted to join us to run away from your probably mean family. You don’t want to make change, you just wanted an out.”
“That’s not true at all, Sokka. I grew up poor. Dirt poor. And when I say that I mean it, because the floors of my house were literally dirt. No one asked me if I wanted to join the Fire Nation military, they told me I was going to. I was brought up my whole life surrounded by people who told me how great my nation was. If everyone’s telling you something and you have no reason to believe otherwise, you start to believe it. I know I’m not perfect, but I’m really tired of you thinking that you know who I am.” She pulled her knees into her chest and tucked her chin on top of them.
Sokka sighed. The sun was setting behind them. “It’s obvious I don’t like the Fire Nation. They’ve caused a lot of pain to me and Katara and to thousands of other people. So when you joined, I guess I just projected that anger onto you.”
“I understand. But I’m not the entire Fire Nation.”
“I know, it’s just hard to separate the two sometimes. I can literally see the Fire Nation inside of you. You’re decisive and strong and stubborn--”
“I’m just going to focus on the first two. You really think those things about me?”
“I mean, yeah. I’ve seen you talk your way out of fights but also kick some major butt. As much as I hate to say it, you’re pretty cool.” (Y/N) smiled and opened her mouth to respond, but her eyes widened as a giant fireball plummeted toward them.
“Look out!” She shouted, tackling Sokka out of the way. They both grunted in pain as they hit the ground.
“How did they even see us?” Sokka asked. He grabbed (Y/N) by the hand and led her up the hill. They abandoned all of their camping stuff (as it was currently on fire) and ran down the backside of the hill, away from the Fire Navy ships. (Y/N) spotted a cave and pulled Sokka inside. They both leaned against the cool rock, breathing heavily.
“Well, so much for the stake out,” (Y/N) said. Sokka laughed.
“We’ll have to wait here for the night. The ships are supposed to leave at dawn tomorrow, so we can travel back to camp then.” (Y/N) nodded. The sun had fully set behind them and the cool chill of night was setting in. She shivered. “I can get a fire going,” Sokka said, and began to collect the debris that was scattered around the cave. (Y/N) giggled.
“Sokka, I got it.” She kicked some leaves and sticks into a pile and kicked a flame on top of them. They sat across from each other with their backs against the cave walls.
“So, how’d you know you were a firebender?” He asked. (Y/N) shrugged.
“I think I started coughing fire one day. My family expected it though. My father had been a firebender.” She pursed her lips and stared at the ground. “He was sent to fight in the war. He didn’t end up coming home.”
“I’m so sorry,” Sokka said quietly. She shrugged.
“I feel torn about it, you know? Because he fought for hatred and injustice, but I also never got to find out if he supported the war or not. The Fire Nation doesn’t really care if you want to fight. They make you do it anyway.”
“I always wanted to fight, ever since I was little.” Sokka said. “But now while I’m living my dream, I see how nasty it actually is and understand why my dad didn’t want me to.”
“Well, you’re a pretty good fighter, so I’m sure he’s proud of you.” Sokka smiled.
“I’m sure your dad is proud of you, too.” (Y/N) grinned. “Listen, I’m sorry for being so mean to you. I guess I was projecting feelings on to you that I had towards the Fire Nation, and it wasn’t fair. But in my defense, everything you did just made me mad. Like the way you cooked soup, or how pretty your eyes were, or how nice your laugh sounded...” Sokka trailed off, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “I said that all out loud, didn’t I?”
(Y/N) nodded, trying her best to contain her smile. “Alright,” Sokka said. “You can just kill me now, I guess.” (Y/N) burst into laughter.
“It’s really okay, Sokka. I’m sorry for being mean to you as well. Everything you did made me mad, like how you constantly teased me, or how cute your ponytail looks, or how funny your jokes were...”
“You...you really think my jokes are funny?” (Y/N) nodded before sliding to sit at his side. “Can I try something?” (Y/N) nodded again. Their faces were just inches apart and she could tell the fire was dying by the dim glow it left on Sokka’s cheeks. He touched her own cheek with his hand, before pulling her close and slowly connecting their lips. (Y/N) felt her face grow hot, but she still let her eyes close and reveled in the feeling of his kiss. They stayed like that for a while, long after the fire went out.
When they returned to their friends the next morning, they walked hand in hand. Aang and Katara’s mouths dropped open and Toph stamped her feet on the ground. “There must be something wrong,” She said. “Are they...touching each other?”
“Hey, guys!” Sokka said, a bright smile on his face. “Aang, how’s the foot doing?”
“Uh, pretty good,” Aang said, pretending to lift his foot as if it were injured.
“What’s um...going on here?” Katara asked.
“Sokka and I had a pretty good stake out,” (Y/N) said. She let her hand slip from his. “I’m gonna get started on lunch.”
“Alrighty,” Sokka said before planting a kiss on her cheek. He sighed happily as he watched her walk away. “Aang, I really have to thank you for pretending to hurt your foot.”
---
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#writing#sokka x reader#atla#avatar the last airbender#katara#aang#sokka#zuko x reader#aang x reader#toph#iroh#zuko#azula#momo#appa#fanfiction
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trying again. im gonna talk about my ocs. its pretty long and kinda incoherent idk
first start with robin
idk how to make the picture smaller so im sorry
- her name is robin wright and she’s 17
BACKSTORY
- her mom is a cyberneticist and her dad is a neurosurgeon. they do research on cyborg’s disease and have a company that makes prosthetics. they’re really rich because if it
- robin also had a twin brother named ronan (she’s the younger twin btw). he died when they were 15 because he had a rare case of cyborg’s disease in the brain. his death was so traumatizing for her that she doesn’t remember the months surrounding his death. she doesn’t even remember the funeral
- after ronan’s death, robin’s parents put her into isolation for two years. they pulled her out of her classes and activities and she barely got human interactions during this time
- eventually she had enough and begged to be allowed out which they do--as long as she has a bodyguard with her at all times. the problem? robin had a hard time getting along with most of them. in fact, ryuji is kind of a last resort. if she doesn’t get on well with him, she’ll most likely be isolated until further notice
random facts
- she’s really smart, a natural genius you could say. she was on her third year in college before she was pulled from it (she’s studying to be a neurosurgeon like her father). she’s one of those organized highlighter/color coded note takers too
- robin is a very compassionate person and is compelled to help others as much as she can.
- stubborn and determined, she’ll pursue nearly everything and won’t back down until she has answers. sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and accidentally oversteps her boundaries. it’s not because she’s needlessly nosy but because she wants to know the whole story before she can help them
- she has a overactive imagination and would end up thinking up outlandish ideas to fill in the blanks of things she doesn’t know
- robin is one of those people who’s polite and reserved if she doesn’t know you but will talk your ear off when she’s comfortable with you
- she closer with her father, which is why she’s studying the same subject that he works in
- both of her parents are incredibly successful and she’s expected to do something similar so she has a lot on her shoulders
- she hasn’t worked a day in her life but she has unusually strong endurance and stamina
- she has a dog! he’s a golden retriever and his name is beck. he’s an old dog and she loves him very much
next is ryuji
- his name is ryuji lor and he’s 22
- he also goes by “ryder” (technically he’s supposed to go by that throughout most of my half-baked story because he never told anyone is real name but that’s beside the point)
- he’s a quarter japanese and three quarters se asian (not really sure what kind yet but im thinking somewhere within the vietnam/laos area)
BACKSTORY
- a bit of TW: FAMILY ABUSE in this passage so skip if it bothers you: his mom got pregnant with him while she was in college and because her boyfriend bailed on her and stress of the pregnancy and burnout she dropped out and went back to her family. she was seen as “the good one” of the family and was expected to get a good job to get her family out of poverty however when she came back they were incredibly bitter that she “failed” and would verbally and emotionally put her down. They also blamed ryuji because if he wasn’t born then she wouldn’t have dropped out and he was often ostracized because of it.
- fortunately he and his mom left when he turned 5. they lived in a small apartment and had to get lots of help from neighbors and friends to make ends meet (mostly to babysit ryuji while his mom worked). ryuji vowed to get smart and get a good job to give his mother the life she deserves (and partly because he feels a part of her really does hate him and he wants to make it up to her somehow because if he doesn’t, was he just a parasite like what his aunts and uncles said?)
- when he turned 10, his mom got married and how he has two moms. they’re hard on him but it’s from a place of love so he tries his best to be a good son by studying and staying out of trouble
- at 17, ryuji has a bit of hope ahead of him. he has a part time job, good grades, and maybe a scholarship if he could qualify. suddenly he’s diagnosed with cyborg’s disease in his eyes and arm. they can’t afford either of his surgeries, let alone one. and that’s not going into the prosthetics and rehab afterwards. at night when they think he’s asleep, ryuji hears his moms arguing about how they’ll be able to afford any of it and what they’ll have to do to pay for it.
- he can’t take it anymore. he runs away
- he ends up in a city he doesn’t recognize and is just allowing himself to die but he gets saved by irving, a back alley repair doctor. he gets prosthetics thanks to her but is now in a massive debt so he works as her assistant and also finds other jobs on the side to repay it
- his backstory is getting really long so things happen in ryuji’s attempt to make money and he ends up also working with ace, who leads an organized crime group, as a handler whose job is to fight/intimidate/kill whoever.
- a sudden coincidence also ends up working as robin’s bodyguard which starts everything. honestly he’s didn’t want to do this job at first but robin’s parents are willing to pay a good amount of money and it allows him to have time away from his jobs with ace
random facts
- he’s left hand but learned to be ambidextrous, however he’ll usually default to his left hand
- he wore glasses when he was younger (near sighted; it was super bad but he didn’t like it)
- he’s afraid of dogs. it’s not a full on phobia but they make him uneasy because of a childhood thing. (he’s more of a cat person and maybe pets a few stray cats that come across his house every once in a while)
- he doesn’t like people staring at him. he feels self-conscious because of the scar on his face and the shadowed bags under his eyes and people staring at him don’t help
- ryuji is really good with prosthetics repair and can go into in-depth discussions about the mechanics of it all; he actually really enjoys working on it and actually helped design his own arm
- he’s really smart but he had to work really hard to get there and because he never finished his education, he doesn’t really think he is either
- ryuji tries to give off a “i don’t care about anyone” bravado to try and distance himself from everything. but he really cares. like a lot. the few people he has in his life right now, he’s ride or die for them
- ryuji works himself to death to ignore his problems. he’s afraid if he stops moving, he’ll buckle under the pressure and stop forever
- he has a knife hidden in his prosthetic forearm which he will use if he feels threatened. (it’s probably a stiletto knife or something idk yet)
- ryuji is an early riser; waking up at 9 am feels like sleeping in to him. he’s not even that much of a morning person, its mostly out of habit
then there’s castor
- his name is castor oda and he’s 24
- he’s japanese
BACKSTORY
- he lived in a really strict and controlling family who owned a business where he had his entire life planned out for him up to who he was going to marry. he’s always been angry about it because he has older siblings who will take over the company and it’s clear that more of a control and image thing than anything else
- when he went to college, it was his first time actually be away from his family and became friends with a guy named ben.
- ben helped castor when his family kicked him out at 19 and gave him a place to stay until he could get back on his feet
- castor loved ben like a brother and is forever grateful for him
- ben mysteriously disappeared when they were 21 and everyone is pretty sure he’s dead but no one knows why
- castor wants to find closure on what happened because he’s definitely sure there’s something shady going on and he’s going to find out what.
- he’s an information broker, occasionally crossing paths with ace to relay and gather info but for the most part, castor has been working alone
- when he’s not doing that though, he works as a barista at a coffee shop
random facts
- he has cyborg’s disease in his right arm and when he lived with his family, he was deeply self-conscious about it
- he hasn’t spoken to his parents since they kicked him out but he still talks to his siblings sometimes; he’s the youngest child with two older sisters
- he always had an inkling that ben had romantic feelings for him, which was unrequited, and castor always felt a little guilty that he never reciprocated or that they never got to talk about it
- castor always wears his red scarf no matter the occasion or weather; he has more scarves but he just likes the red one the best
- people think he’s like calm and collected but in reality he’s an impulsive, emotional driven idiot just like the rest of us
- however he is the master of the polite business smile because of his strict upbringing
- he’s a rather disorganized person
next is irving
- her name is ellie irving and she’s 35
- she’s half black, half white
BACKSTORY
- i don’t have that much solidified for her backstory yet so it might change fyi
- irving had been doing cybernetic research back in college but someone plagiarized her work and submitted their paper before she came forward
- because the paper was published before she published hers, SHE was initially hit with backlash of plagiarism
- eventually they try to sort it out but in the end, while she proved she didn’t plagiarize the other, she couldn’t prove that she came up with the research first and they just terminated the both her and the plagiarist
- she was barred from going into higher cybernetics research and honestly she’s still a bit bitter about it
- she went into prosthetics repair instead but still struggled to find work because of her alleged reputation, which many still believed she stole another’s work
- eventually she manages to open up a shop that specializes in prosthetic repairs and replacements
random facts
- she’s really harsh and aloof, however she cares in her own way
- honestly irving doesn’t believe herself to be a good person due to how she feels she let herself to bitterly sulk in her anger for so long
- she smokes a bit but she’s trying to cut back lately
- irving won’t pry if you come to her with a broken arm and you need help; she’ll fix you up and leave it at that and allow you to come to her yourself
- she’s incredibly observant and can tell if your lying with just a glance
- she doesn’t know that ryuji works for ace; she’s concerned when he seems more tired than usual but she doesn’t know how to pry
last one cuz im tired
his name is ace (i don’t have a last name for him) and he’s 32
- he owns an organized crime ring; im thinking he’s connected to something bigger and possibly something with the black market
- not much is known about him but he’s a charismatic man and has the intimidation factor
- he flips his demeanor a lot. one minute he’s jovial and kind then the next he’ll give you thinly veil threats. he mostly does it to keep people on their toes so it’s a power thing
- begrudgingly he’s the closest thing to a father figure ryuji is gonna get
- also the jacket ryuji always wears? it’s a gift from ace
and that’s all i got so far! i have a lot more ocs but i don’t have have a lot of backstory for them yet. let me know what you think of these guys and feel free to ask questions!
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Can we talk about Carol and Steve punishing their sub? Because I love both my captains 😭
(Goodness! Sorry this took so long!)
Anyway. Let’s talk about this! Bc I feel like the styles are SO SO SO SO SO so fucking different.
Carol likes to punish you. She likes to grab you by the jaw when you’re talking back, she likes to pull your hair after you roll your eyes at her, she likes to grab you and pin you to the wall when you try to walk away from her. And she loves spanking you, edging you, and just not letting you come at all. Because she really likes when you’re whimpering and crying bc you need an orgasm while you’re laid out on top of her, head on her chest while she runs her fingers through your hair. And she really loves making you eat her out. For hours. She lets you on the bed so you’re comfortable but she really likes to ignore you while your mouth is between her legs. She’ll answer texts, sometimes calls. She’ll browse Netflix, sometimes even start a new show. She’ll read a book, a newspaper. And then you feel like you have something to prove—which is probably her goal.
Steve is soft. He doesn’t necessarily like it. He definitely doesn’t hate it, but he prefers to spoil you, not punish you. But when he knows he must, he will. Unlike Carol, he only ever punishes you on the bed. You’re not sure why, he’s just very strict about it. He won’t make you stand or bend you over a table, and it is NEVER in public—though, he does enjoy when Carol punishes you in a semi-public way. So, this bitch is a talker. Why am I punishing you? What lesson am I trying to teach you? Are you going to do it again? You always say no and he doesn’t communicate any disbelief even though you’re sure it’s there. Don’t you prefer being my good girl? And you claim yes, again, he accepts the answer. His preferred method is definitely spanking. Carol enjoys that from time to time, but’s definitely a Steve Punishment™️. He will have you count. Sometimes, he runs his fingers through your pussy and if you’re too wet, he makes you wait until you’re not. He loves how you end up absolutely needy and shaking, begging him to touch you—you don’t care how, you just need his hands on your body.
Where they have a common interest is overstimulation. Carol has tied you to the bed and left a vibrator on your clit for two hours before. You were a babbling, crying mess at the end, but the look of absolute adoration on her face and the way she held you afterward made up for most of it. She has you go to parties, meetings, other social events with too many people, where she has a smaller vibrator in your pussy and the means to control it with a handy app on her phone. Steve makes you sit on his face and won’t let you off until he is done. Super soldier. He’s never done. His favorite thing to do is make you talk. He has his hands on your hips and he lifts you just barely, starts using one hand’s fingers to press down on your clit or tease your entrance, and then says things like are you sorry for misbehaving? What do you think your punishment should be? Tell me how much you love me. Tell me how good I’m making you feel right now. You’re mostly incoherent, but he seems satiated by your responses most of the time.
The reasons for punishment are also so different. Most of the time. Carol reacts quickly so you talk back, you roll your eyes, you blatantly ignore her “advice”—see: orders—sometimes. She doesn’t do the talking like Steve. You know why she’s punishing you, she knows you know, and you both damn well know you’ll do it again whenever you please. With Steve, any of that behavior just gets you his disappointed eyebrows and then much later, you’re on the bed talking about it, waiting for him to pull you over his knee. You have never voiced it but you think he gets off on your nerves about it. He likes making you wait, keeping you guessing when, how many, how hard, will he fuck you after? Control. Freak. More often than not, Steve punishes you for “challenging” him in front of the team. You can’t do that, so he claims, because then everyone else will and then it’s not a team—you could recite this lecture in your sleep, you’ve gotten it enough.
These are the light punishments. Like that time you snuck out to a club with Wanda and then returned home with a black eye because long story short, some drunk loser got too handsy with Wanda and you started a fight with him and his friends. Or that time you consented to being bait for a mission and had to act without backup when the team couldn’t get there fast enough, no fault of their own; they just weren’t able to be close enough without being obvious. Or the time you had a drinking contest with Tony and won—which he argues about even though he called Pepper at 3 in the morning and begged her to take him back...they weren’t separated—and fell coming up the apartment stairs and sprained your wrist and bruised both shins. Neither Carol nor Steve were big drinkers and they constantly implored you to be responsible if you needed to do it. Or the time you helped Shuri, Peter, and Valkyrie prank the whole team. You weren’t allowed to retell the stories about Steve and Carol. Maybe it started with a p and ended in —regnancy. Regardless, the three of you decided to swap Thor’s cape out for a pink toned one that looked very much like the lesbian flag, which was totally not intentional... Tony was furious that the media reported Thor being the first avenger to make a political statement regarding sexuality. He was seriously planning a rainbow suit, and the rest of the team was no better, madness that Steve had to put an end to that he blamed you for completely.
But there are other, more serious times. Like when you make decisions during a mission that they are not on board with. And it doesn’t go as well as you would have hoped. Or that time, against Steve’s wishes, you were hanging out with a specific fantastic member of a certain team and there were paparazzi pictures the following day of when the tool kissed you out of nowhere—he swears he didn’t know you were with Steve and Carol, no one really believes him. Or when Carol told you not to go on that road trip with Nat and Bucky because, per Carol, despite them being master assassins, they had few people skills, absolutely no driving skills, and all three of you liked egging each other on way too much. Since Steve had been out of town, you were easily able to sneak out when Carol went to the gym. You guys were attacked, car destroyed, ended up hitch hiking to Montana, and had to call Steve and Carol to come get you.
When Carol is serious about punishment, it’s the craziest thing. She’s just at a complete loss. She’s not sure what to say or what to do, she is truly appalled and frustrated. This is when she leans on Steve a little—she sees him as the epitome of control and thinks he can offer it when she is feeling so out of control. All three of you end up on the bed, he sits against the headboard and holds you while Carol is sitting at the foot of the bed. Sometimes, she has you on your stomach, forearms locked tightly in Steve’s hands. This is when she spanks you. Sometimes, she has you on your back, Steve’s arms wrapped around your waist, and this is when she edges you until she’s satisfied. This is also when she talks. She wants you to show regret for upsetting her. She wants apologies and promises that it’s not going to happen again. But see, it’s not the same as when Steve talks bc Carol is going to do exactly what she wants and it doesn’t matter whether you tell her what she wants to hear or not. So, sometimes, you refuse to apologize, especially if it was a decision you stand by. These scenarios always end in a sort of compromise. It’s definitely not a win for either one of you and she’s okay with that. If anything, this is just to let you know that you scared her and if you would not scare her again, that would be great. Still, she has to send a message. You’re the only one naked, the only one vulnerable. Essentially, you’re the only one in the room without power and she likes to remind you in any way she can.
Steve. This is where things take a serious turn. He gags you. Because he doesn’t want to hear apologies, excuses, or arguments. Really, it’s almost dehumanizing when he punishes you this way, like you’re just an object for him to use however he wants. And it’s not like you can say no. Not that you’ve ever considered it, but there is this dark cloud over the whole room bc you have to wonder if he’ll know if you need him to stop. You hate that it actually gives you this tiny thrill. Carol watches. Steve demands it—but you wonder if it’s this mutual thing that they find in one another, maybe he’s feeling out of control and she’s the brakes then. He tells her what to do, too. He tells her when to undress, when to touch herself. The entire time, he’s fucking you furiously, yet acting like you’re not even there. He always starts you facing away from Carol. When he turns you toward her, you know he’s just about done with you. But when you lock eyes with her, when you know she’s looking at you, it’s harder not to come. You can’t warn Steve when you’re too close, you just have to hope that he’ll stop in time. For your sake alone, you assume—you’re not entirely sure what would happen if you finished without his permission. Not that you would ever tell him, but it scares the hell out of you to imagine. Afterwards, he’ll clean you up and tuck you in next to Carol. He usually goes to the gym to get rid of any remaining anger. You don’t tell him because you know it will make him feel guilty but you don’t fall asleep until he slides into bed and wraps an arm around you. You always take that to mean that he’s no longer mad at you. And every following morning, when he knows you’re awake, his fingers seek out your clit as some form of an apology for losing his temper with you.
#steve rogers x reader#carol danvers x reader#steve rogers x reader x carol danvers#carol danvers x reader x steve rogers#smutask#carolsmut#stevesmut#my writing
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empire of ivory here we go!
previous temeraire let’s read here
- um excuuuuse me I have waited two books for us to come back home to britain to see everyone again and now everything is awful and shitty and scary and my fave is leaving and nothing’s how it should be??? no??? this is unfair??????
- tharkay NO please don’t go everything provably goes to hell whenever you leave D:D:D:
(to be fair to him I guess it’s understandable to want some time alone to process the absolute outrageous bullshit he just pulled for a guy he’s known for like four months)
he used his page time well tho; instantly convincing roland of his worth and making her laugh... giving laurence his cup of tea b/c he looked like he needed it more... telling laurence that he’s leaving because he promised to do that much at least... truly the best boy, off to fetch more dragons apparently because it wasn’t quite crazy enough the first time
- god I love jane roland, I’m so glad my two faves got along instantly, between them they could... maybe protect laurence from himself? at least a little??? I can but dream
- I think this is the most emotionally invested I’ve been in a piece of media since that time I spent a few months completely incoherent over uncharted, and naughty dog very kindly held my heart in their hands and chose to be gentle with it in the end but I am not so sure that is how it’s going to be for this series and I am Not Prepared for the suffering
- I love whenever laurence thinks uncomfortably about one of the various and sundry atrocities committed by the government he’s still pledged all his loyalty to. yes william maybe the british empire... is in fact not good and has enough blood on their hands to dye the ocean red. I can’t wait until he connects the dots here (and presumably has a pretty intense crisis if faith about it because it seems like one of the loadbearing structures of his character... actually no wait I’m not ready to see this D:D:D:)
- the little details like the fact that he just calls bb!roland ‘emily’ and harcourt becomes ‘catherine’ so easily in his narration now are so so sweet
- lord allendale is one of those dudes who have good politics but is a shitheel to his family and I want to smack him
laurence being the mortified poster boy of this party, though? priceless, imagine coming up with a protagonist this effortlessly involuntarily hilarious, it’s the mark of true genius
- I don’t usually quibble over things like this, but I think the edit for this fourth book specifically is a bit lacking? I’ve come across a lot of mistakes even my dumb ass can pick up on already, and I’m only a hundred pages or so in
- caught between crying and cackling at this part b/c like laurence I’m d e v a s t a t e d at the thought of temeraire getting sick but also temeraire is just like cheerfully getting laid the whole time
also how did none of the aviators think to give laurence The Talk about giving his dragon The Talk, you all know what he’s like
- oh thank god
- I have spent half of today crying about dragons coughing, how are you this fine evening good reader
- btw this series fills a hole in my soul left by jkr giving me all those tantalizing hints of different types of dragons in ‘fantastic beasts’ and never following up on it
- tharkay may not be here but laurence just mentioned him like once in his narration so let’s take the excuse to reminisce about the good old days (when tharkay was here)... remember that time when the one of his own jokes he laughed openly at was about lawyers and laurence frankly should have responded better b/c it was kind of funny and sadly temeraire doesn’t have the worldly experience to know it yet.... aaah precious, he truly is a sardonic blessing to my heart and deserves the world
okay back to our regularly scheduled content
- riley why u gotta b such a bitch about this
(I love how laurence is constantly doubting himself over this tho, as if he’s done something wrong in this situation... like honey baby if there’s one thing worth breaking a friendship over it’s probably them being cool with slavery lol. it shows how much laurence has grown, considering that this disagreement has always existed between them but he used to be willing to just overlook it... I’m so proud of you laurence)
also lol @ berkely coming in to tell them everyone can hear them, I have a desperately soft spot for him and maximus. just the image of both of them turning to him ‘united in appalled indignation’ like ‘excuse you???’ and him giving exactly zero fucks... *chef kiss emoji*
- most important information revealed in this book: a) dragons are not widely considered to have committed original sin, thank you reverend erasmus and b) laurence has taken time out of his day at some point to worry about it b/c he’s a dork
(this is the sort of world building I am hopelessly weak to lol)
- gong su tricking temeraire into eating in the most melodramatic way possible... god bless you chef
- fkjhsadkjfhsdkjalhfaskjldhf laurence judging chenery for what he’s wearing while going out into the jungle in full uniform hat included himself... I caaaaan’t
- demane has only appeared on three pages so far but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this book and then myself
- ‘average dragon speaks one million languages’ factoid actualy statistical error. Temeraire Linguist Georg, who wants a pavilion thank you very much & learns over 10,000 languages each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted <3<3<3
(I love that temeraire is like... a nerd dragon with a hopelessly jock captain)
- laurence effortlessly rating the relative hotness of the other male aviators to try to suss out who harcourt has slept with fjsaldfhsdkljafh do you ever hear yourself think william
like this is the thing about him it’s so easy to headcanon him as bi b/c he can be so mindbogglingly oblivious it’s entirely possible he literally wouldn’t even have noticed until someone smacked him over the head with it
- see I’m very happy they found the cure but I don’t fucking trust it b/c the pattern of these books tends to be to give you one moment of ‘oh phew everything is going to be okay’ about 2/3 into the story and THEN everything goes to hell and fifty pages later laurence is dissociating and napoleon has conquered prussia
- THERE WE GO RIGHT ON SCHEDULE
temeraire is never going to let laurence go anywhere without him again and rightly so
- hasn’t mrs erasmus been through enough. can’t she just be allowed to chill
- this is really cool world building but I’m too stressed out to appreciate it
really enjoy the description of architecture tho this sounds so awesome
- sfahdfklsahdfksjda laurence making sure his clothes are as washed and presentable as possible... I can’t with you you beautiful idiot
- TEMERAIRE OH MY GOD IS HE HERE IS LAURENCE HALLUCINATING PLS SAY HE’S ACTUALLY HERE
- ...well I mean if anyone has a freudian excuse for being kind of dickish I guess it would be these guys? it’s actually pretty chill of them to only flog one of them (laurence, because he just can’t play it any way but stupid lawful good at every turn) and not just killing them all I guess, they kept them fed and stuff
- oh thank god
- temeraire you are the most darling dragon boy and I love you
I was really really worried for a moment there that the reference to the Colosseum was a not-so-subtle hint they would have to gladiator fight to the death but thankfully they were basically just calling in a parliament
- DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STAB A CHILD IN THE STOMACH?? I HOPE HE ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE DICK AND DIES pls say demane is going to be okay
- aw okay finally something good for mrs erasmus I will take it
- laurence you useless fool of a narrator is demane okay??
- god roland is just so cool naomi novik really gave us a jovial butch silver fox aviator lady huh... she did that for us and I for one am full of gratitude
- oh thank GOD (hm I sense a running theme here lol) the kid is going to be okay I can breathe again
- iskierka the pirate captain + temeraire’s reaction... perfect
- ;____________; I would lay down my life for temeraire and also that’s a gutpunch of a moodswing... the perfect hilarity of ‘that is an ugly hill’ immediately followed by That... jesus
- awww every time volly shows up again is a joy (temrer!!!)
- laurence... laurence you need to stop asking people to marry you because you never actually really fucking mean it!!!!! have you learned nothing about yourself since book 1, trust your goddamn instincts for once in your life you and roland have been doing perfectly okay thus far as like... affectionate fuckbuddies right?
(her reaction was priceless tho god bless)
- aaaah there we go the british government is looking more like itself... welcome to the world of realpolitik laurence I’m really sorry :(
- “It is only dragons, you know” JANE ROLAND WTF DID YOU JUST SAY
- “This government is not of my party; my king is ill and mad; but still I am his subject. You have sworn no oath, but I have.” He paused. “I have given my word.”
:) this is... fine
(like. I know this is necessary character growth and he’s basically been a waste of a good man in service to a government like this the whole time and the writing’s been on the wall since book 1 but I don’t want this to be happening to hiiiiim)
- tfw... ur dragon boi is so good... that being anything less than good for him in turn is unthinkable...................... b o i
- ...jane doesn’t really know him very well if she didn’t see this coming from a mile off tho does she
I mean I guess she has other stuff to think about but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone
- remember when he thought the entire corps was weird and now he’s finally at home there... and has to leave it behind :):):) super extra fine is what this is
- yeah okay laurence definitely has a crush on ol’ bonaparte noting that down lol he’s all but blushing after that kiss on the cheek
also... if you just overlook the dictator thing for a moment is napoleon wrong about what he’s saying tho. (no and not even laurence is prepared to say so he’s just going to go back there and get murdered anyway b/c idk lawful good is dumb as fuck sometimes I guess)
It’s really cool how the author shows that napoleon has a better handle on laurence’s psychology after barely meeting him than a lot of people he’s known for years now, though, really adds to his menace and appeal as a character
- wow uh that’s one way to end a book... it’s actually tipped over from tragedy into a strange sort of hilarity for me now: he literally got sued out of his life’s earnings for being a decent human being, committed treason for the same reason and is about to be hanged for thinking genocide might have been a step too far -- in the span of thirty pages. I believe ‘that escalated quickly’ is not too much of an exaggeration here
- SIPHO IS GONNA WRITE BOOKS ONE DAY YOU GUYS!!!! I PROUDLY WELCOME OUR SECOND NERD TO THE CREW
- I think this one might be my least favorite so far? not that I disliked it, it’s just the one that’s hit the worst by the fact that there’s not always that much time spent with the cultures central to the book; tswana seems really interesting but because of the way the plot played out and our limited perspective though laurence it just didn’t work for me? the cool shit comes in sipho’s book at the end, like how thoroughly they kicked the europeans out of the coast of africa, which is very cathartic (I will say that most of the second book being set on the ship and then only a sliver of it is actually in china annoyed me too haha)
I have the distinct feeling this book is setting up for some Misery and breaking of the pattern a bit in the next one though, which will be interesting! ONWARDS TO MORE PAIN AND LAURENCE IS ALREADY PASSIVELY SUICIDAL FROM THE OUTSET SO LIKE... I’M SURE THIS WILL BE REAL FUN :)
maybe my boy will be back tho? silver linings silver linings clinging to some silver linings
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My favorite hero
fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony), MCU (if you want to imagine timeline CA:WS will be good)
summary: Tony and Steve have a free evening for each other until Tony receives a certain letter that can change everything Steve thought about his boyfriend.
length: 2 049 words
a/n: first fic on the new blog, aaaah!! inspired by this art by @steve-sketchbooks . and also dedicated to the person behind the blog, because Yuki helped me set up this account and drew the adorable mini me you can see in my avatar and at the side of this of this blog, and I am super grateful for having her as a friend! love you, loser!! this is also influenced by CA:WS, because I was rewatching the movie for the museum scene and somehow made myself sad, blah. hope you like this fic!!
——–
My favorite hero
"Babe, I am back! Got the tomatoes!"
"Great! Bring them over here!"
Steve turned light steps into the kitchen. It was one of those sweet days when no disaster had happened, and Tony and Steve could spend the evening together, deciding on cooking a meal instead of ordering it. And somehow it was so like Tony to come up with an idea of preparing spaghetti and Neapolitan sauce and forgetting to buy the main ingredient. He didn't forget some fancy parmesan for garnish, expensive olive oil for garlic bread, but he forgot the basic ingredient for the sauce. Somehow, Steve wasn't even surprised and just went out for a quick run to the nearest supermarket.
"How is it going?" he asked, walking to Tony and standing behind his boyfriend's back, peering into the pots.
"Bread in the oven, water for pasta boiling, garlic and onion almost translucent," Tony listed, stirring the bits of chopped onion and crushed garlic in a skillet, filling the kitchen with a yummy scent. "You can open the tomatoes and chop some basil."
Steve smiled, feeling that those were not the words Tony got to say too often, but it did sound good in his mouth. Domestic.
"By the way, there is a letter addressed to you," Steve remembered, putting the can with chopped tomatoes on the table and pulling out, a slightly crumpled, letter from his pocket.
"A letter?" Tony asked, deciding that onions and garlic got golden enough and snapped fingers into his palms, urging Steve to hand him the tomatoes faster. "I don't get letters."
Steve couldn't help but smile at the comment. Of course, his futurist boyfriend didn't get any letters. Tony was a strict email person or handled everything via video calls. Regular post was too slow for his liking.
"But you did," Steve put the opened can into Tony's hand, watching the brunet tip it and dump the red pulp into the skillet, making the oil sizzle. Soon the kitchen started to smell like tomatoes and garlic.
"Hmmm. Open it," Tony said, using the spatula to crush the tomatoes chunks.
"Are you sure?" Steve asked, halfway to prepare a basil cutting station. Somehow it felt too invasive.
"Sure, I am sure. It is probably an invitation somewhere and you won't have a different choice than to go with me, so it's better for you to prepare in advance."
"You are probably right," Steve agreed, holding back a chuckle at the way Tony scoffed out 'probably', mocking him. He took the letter. "It is from the Smithsonian Museum."
"Smithsonian…" Tony repeated thoughtfully. What did the museum want from him?
After opening the letter, Steve started to read out loud. "Dear Mr Stark. On the behalf of the Smithsonian museum, I would like to express my deepest gratitude for your generous donation of priceless memorabilia to---"
Oh, that's what.
"NOO!!" Tony wailed, dropping the spatula into the sauce and darting to Steve, wrenching the letter out.
Too late.
"--- the Captain America exhibit," Steve ended, even if the letter wasn't in front of him any longer, his expression of pure surprise.
’Captain America - the living legend and symbol of courage’. He remembered that exhibit. It contained all the things from his life in the army, basically every item that was ever promoted with his image, and original tapes of his gigs from selling war bonds.
"Tony," Steve looked at his boyfriend, who was angrily scrunching the letter in his hands, muttering something about medieval methods of communication. "That exhibit belongs to you?"
Tony paused and dropped his head in shame. It was a talk he never hoped to happen. "I --- I just sponsor it. And donated some things from my collection---"
"Your collection?"
Oops.
"You didn't hear anything!" Tony snapped his head up, brown eyes narrowing in anger at Steve's stretching smile. "Don't even---"
"Your collection," Steve repeated, his smile taking almost half of his face. "You mean there is more?"
"No!"
"There is more!" Steve laughed cheerfully, slapping his hands on his thigh in triumph. "I am your favorite superhero!"
"Oh for the--- No, you are not! And I was young and stupid when I collected those things!"
"Oh, really?"
Tony winced at how quickly and quietly Steve suddenly appeared in front of him. Stupid super soldier serum.
"Then how come you still sponsor that exhibit?" Steve asked, smiling brightly.
"Stop it," Tony chocked out, looking to the side, planning his escape before his face would completely get consumed by red color and resemble the tomato sauce.
"That's so cute."
"Shut up."
"You are adorable. You always had a crush on me, didn't you?"
"Oh please! If I had a crush on anyone, it was Captain America, you, you I barely tolerate!"
"But I am Captain America," Steve teased further, trying to get a reaction out of Tony and gently poking his stomach. "How does it feel to date your favorite hero?"
"St-stop it!" Tony ordered, his face finally becoming red as he tried to slap Steve's hands away and wriggle out. "St-STEVE!"
"Not until you admit that you are my biggest fan," Steve insisted with a huge grin, deciding to cut the teasing already. He used both hands to pin into Tony's sides and wriggled fingers into the soft skin.
"NO!" Tony managed to yell out before laughter took over him. He was trapped between Steve's body and the counter, and while it wasn't a bad situation in itself, he would hope for different circumstances. "Staahahahap!"
"Not until you tell me what I want to hear," Steve kept smiling, enjoying as always the ticklish secret about his boyfriend. Which everyone knew. Which didn't make it a secret anymore. Still, it was incredibly sweet and he loved making Tony squirm.
"Fahahaahaahack!" Tony laughed, pushing on blond's chest uselessly, unable to defend himself from the attack. "Steve, Steve, no, please!" he managed to get out incoherently, when fingers clawed at his stomach, just in that spot where it was particularly unbearable. "BWAHAHAHA!!"
In such moments, Steve was incredibly grateful that Tony was so stubborn. It made the fun longer for both of them.
"Tooonyyyyy," Steve sang, drilling his fingers into the slightly pudgy belly, before delivering another ticklish attack, "you know what I want to hear. Just say it and I will stop."
It was either utter humiliation or die laughing. At least in Tony's eyes. From Steve's perspective, the situation was a whole less serious and a whole lot sweeter.
"Ohkahahahay!!" Tony gave up, barely able to stand anymore. The assault was not long, but precise and focused on his weakest spots, which made it too devastating. Stupid Steve and his expert strategy.
True to his words, Steve stopped. He kept his hands over Tony's sides, just in case. "Well?" he asked, lightly drumming fingers over the skin.
"You said you will stooahahp!" Tony wriggled, pressing arms down to his sides, nose scrunching as the last word was laced with a giggle.
Steve only smiled at the cute reaction. Someone was too ticklish for words to describe. "I will stop," he made a decision and took a step back, raising hands up so Tony could see them. "Now, spill it."
Tony huffed out a puff of air, trying to calm himself down. He would prefer if Steve stayed closer to him so he could hide into his boyfriend's chest and mutter out the embarrassing confession and end this sorry moment. But noo, Steve had to look at him.
With a sorry whine, Tony dropped his head into his palms, hiding. "I… I…"
Steve waited, watching the other man with a fond smile. Flustered Tony was a rare sight.
"I..."
"Hey," Steve stepped closer and wrapped his boyfriend in a hug. "If it's too difficult, you don't have to say it," he smiled into Tony's hair, seeing how much effort the confession cost him.
"But I want to say it!" Tony burst out, looking at Steve with stubborn eyes and a blush on his face. A weirdly adorable combo, that made Steve blink in confusion.
"Steve, I---" Tony started, reaching for blond's hand and rubbing his knuckles with his thumb, focusing his eyes there for now. "This… This was going on for as long as I remember. And I didn't want you to know, because I didn't want you to think I am some kind of stalker or a freak, and like you for the Captain America part---"
"Tony---"
"--- because I like you!" Tony looked back at the stunned soldier. "I like you as you, and--- I never thought I would have a chance to like you as you and I had this whole image of you as Captain America, but you are not like Captain America---"
"I am not?" Steve asked, getting confused.
"No! I mean, you kinda are, you have to be, but--- but this is you. Stubborn and sweet and caring and--- this is the you I like," Tony rambled, getting closer and finally hiding into Steve's chest, holding to his shirt and bunching it in his fist. "And I like you and I still like Captain America, but I know you are two different people and it was hard to say for me at first where Captain America ends and where Steve Rogers starts, but now I know and---"
"Babe, it is okay, really---"
"--- and I love you."
Oh.
The silence was stretching. Before Tony could slip away, feeling that his confession was unrequited, Steve held him close.
"I love you too," he whispered into brunet's ear.
"You better, we are dating for two months," Tony muttered into Steve's shoulder, hiding that his heart started to flutter from emotions.
Steve snorted. "Try two years, babe."
"Huh. That long?"
"That long."
"How come we never said it before?"
"Because we are idiots."
Tony burst into laughter, looking up at the soldier. "And brutally honest. Should have added that to the list of what I love in you," he grinned.
Steve kept looking at Tony with a doting expression. He could write poems about what he loved in Tony. His determination. Generosity. That when he set his mind on something, he always achieved that. His good heart. He could go on and on, just like Tony could go on and on about him.
But still...
"So can you say it? Just for me?" Steve asked with a shy smile.
Tony grunted, rolling his eyes. Stubborn. He should have crossed that out from the list of things he liked about Steve. Sometimes it wasn't so good. Deep breath. "I am Captain America's biggest fan," he said in a slow voice just for Steve to savor the moment, even if his smile was more on the mocking smirk side. It was good enough, and Steve brightened, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend. "And I am lucky to date my hero," Tony continued, becoming more courageous and hoping for some more sweet rewards.
"Aw, babe," Steve kissed Tony again, feeling that he was head over heels in love with Tony Stark. "I am lucky too. I got to dine with my favorite hero," he gave his own confession, looking deep into brunet's eyes.
"Oh yeah?" Tony asked in a teasing voice, but eyes sparkling with love gave away his true feelings.
"Oh yeah," Steve repeated and nodded vigorously, squeezing Tony closer by putting his hands on the round butt. "So… Do you think we can invite Falcon over? Because he is really great and my favorite and---"
"You asshole!" Tony laughed, attempting to swat the already laughing blond, but Steve was faster and zoomed out of the kitchen, Tony closely following. And it didn't matter, that the sauce got burnt and the pasta overboiled and their kitchen became a nightmare, all that mattered was that when before it had happened, they both collapsed on the couch and made out because they both were their biggest fans and were head over heels in love with the other.
#stony#steve rogers#tony stark#tony stark is ticklish#stony fanfic#stony tickle fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#hope you liiikeeee itttt#tickle fic
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Broken Souls
I’m trying to post this on Ao3 but I have tried to do it like 50 times and it doesn’t get posted, so. Okay. I’m gonna post it here.
This is the first chapter of a multi-fic to my friend @lesbiankankuro!!! I love you girl!! Happy Birthday!! You’re awesome!!
Summary: Who says soulmates stories have to be perfect? Who says everything will work out since the beginning? Who says it won't be hard and tough all the way until you finally meet them and after you meet them? Who says it will be easy?
Sasuke and Naruto. The not so conventional soulmates. The pretty boy, misterious, full of secrets, hide under couples of shadows; the favorite between the girls, prodigy and survivor of the prestigious Uchiha family and The 2007 Tragedy. And the fool, clumsy, clown of the classroom, dead-last. The newbie that came to town too late and that no one knows why. Full of secrets too, full of demons too.Sounds like a pretty unmatched pair, doesn't it?Their story is not perfect, not even near. But they're perfect for each other.
In a world where, in some way, the cosmic dust (the space matter, the one that composes you, the one that mixes with each fiber of your being), is impregnated like ink on your skin when another person cries because, inexplicably, the chemicals in your brain are connected to that other person, meet Sasuke. Meet Naruto.
The story of two broken souls who need each other to heal.
The story of two broken boys who find each other and fall in love.
Notes: Hey! First of all, this fanfic is dedicated to my friend Rav! She is totally amazing and today is her birthday! So if I can’t go and see her to give her a hug or something, at least I tried to write something! I love you, dipshit, you know! Thanks for everything you've done for me and I really hope you enjoy this! It's a long journey and I really don’t know if I'm doing this right, but I really tried! You know you are super special to me!
This originally started as a one-shot but, lucky me, it became too long and tedious to write in a single chapter, so I decided to expand it and write a multi-chapter! My first, in fact! I have everything planned and some scenes from other chapters written already, especially the last one, so I hope to finish it and update very soon! I don’t think it will be longer than 5 chapters. I hope so. However, the updates may not be as fast as I hope they are, because the school starts in a week and totally consumes me and I usually need a lot of time to write a single chapter. I worked hard in a week of holidays to be able to finish this alone. So, if I'm late, I apologize in advance and I hope you have patience! Thank you very much for understanding!
Like I said, it's my first fanfic of several chapters so I'm not sure what I'm doing with this. It is a soulmate au, like it says in the tags, a very unconventional one since the center of the story is that, but at the same time it’s not. If that makes any sense, hah. The fic will be more focused on how their relationship grows until they both realize that, in fact, they are soulmates in this crazy world. It's in my style (though I feel like is very different from my usual stuff) and probably very lazy and boring at first (and along until the end) but well! Here it is! And I hope you enjoy it!
Thank you for reading! Let me know your opinion in the comments!
(Sidenote: I have not written for a long time, so I am very rusty, sorry for the rustic and coarse writing style, I hope to improve as I continue.)
Clarifications: I have no idea how the Japanese educational system works, neither a school in Japan, and, although I know I could certainly have researched, I was more comfortable handling the system in America, since it is more familiar to me. I hope it doesn’t bother you.
The school cycles managed here are semi-annual, as in my school, and they cover from August to December and from February to the beginning of June (based on my school located in Mexico, I apologize if there are confusions).
The name of the Annual Konoha Tournament is "will of fire" in Japanese, but because my Japanese is terrible and I have no knowledge of it I used a translator. Correct me if there is an error, thank you.
Obviously Konoha doesn’t exist in real life, but I have decided that in this world Konoha exists and is a semi-Asian county located in some state of America after the agreement made in the "Civil War of Japan" and vs USA in the Second War World in 1945. (Obviously all this is a mixture of real story and fiction /more fiction/ but I hope it's not confusing for any of you!)
Madara’s death (who dies before Hashirama) according to wiki is still unknown and there are no official dates, but I needed it to be by that date, so it was the one I used (this can be confusing but you will all know what I’m talking about when you start reading!)
Excuse my vague knowledge of sports and martial arts too. I did what I could.
The huge amount of parallels with the canon is because I love doing that, heh. I hope it doesn’t bother you and I hope there is not much ooc around here! I really tried to make it as close as possible to their characterization in canon!
Any question about something that is not understandable is received! I'll gladly answer unless I know it's a spoiler! Thanks again for reading!Oh! And! Also! English is not my first language and this not beta-it, so. Sorry for any grammar mistakes guys! I tried my best!
Prologue.
Around the world, along with the time, there have been said and discussed endless things about the soulmates. It is talked about in science, mathematics, astronomy and its respective branches. Spiritually or even religiously. Is talked about energy, the universe, the cosmos. About atoms, chemicals, magnetism. How it is mathematically and scientifically impossible, even stupid. Is talked about angels and souls and reincarnations. About other worlds and parallel universes and particles. About other lives, past lives, cosmic or spiritual or astral connections. Is talked about the creation of the world. About God.
It is explained or refuted by crazy and gimmicky and outlandish and incoherent theories and ramblings. They shout and murmur arguments and essays and thousands of letters and facts and words and ideas.
The truth is, though, the concept of soulmates is controversial. Credible, not credible. Coherent, logical, inexplicable. Crazy, stupid, meaningless, wonderful.
It's all those things.
A soulmate is a crazy concept. Wild. Brilliant. Wonderful. Unbelievable.
But it exists.
In a world.
In this world.
In a world where, in some way, the cosmic dust (the space matter, the one that composes you, the one that mixes with each fiber of your being), is impregnated like ink on your skin when another person cries because, inexplicably, the chemicals in your brain are connected to that other person, the concept of soulmates is not impossible.
Unpredictable. Crazy. Inexplicable. Probably even ridiculous.
But possible.
.
Not everyone has one.
A soulmate.
Others have it but it died a long time ago. Years ago.
Others have it and it still is not born when they come into the world.
Others have two.
Sometimes, soulmates don’t like each other like that; but they work, they connect, in another way. They have a role in each other’s lives. They are attracted to each other and they turn and dance around for their whole life until they meet because they work like a magnetic field and powdered iron.
It's complicated.
It's not as easy as they paint it in the movies.
Comments fly and they become dust and travel and the world hears them.
“You don’t understand your soulmate all the time and it doesn’t work as you always think.” They say. “Sometimes it is not what you expect. Sometimes it is much more complicated than it seems. Sometimes they just don’t connect the way you would want them to. Sometimes life revolves and they die and you never get to see each other.” They whisper. They scream.
Sometimes you two never meet.
It's strange.
It's hard.
It's new and it turns your stomach in a knot and you feel your head spinning and you feel on the peak of a cliff about to fall.
It is much deeper than a simple word or concept or explanation allows you to see.
.
A soulmate is not exactly what you want. It is what you need.
It is the gift of the universe to you.
.
Naruto longs for a soulmate.
With all the problems.
With all the smiles and laughter.
With everything.
.
Ero Sennin tells him stories about soulmates all the time. He tells him how it feels to have one and how it feels the ink that bathes your skin. He shows him the flowers that fill his wrists and dance between his fingers. He tells him how his parents were kindred spirits and shows him pictures of them smiling side by side.
Naruto asks questions. Naruto observes.
Naruto looks at how he looks at Baa-chan with dreamy, dazzling and dancing eyes and doesn’t understand it at all. He looks at him as he smiles at her with soft edges and looks perhaps too long at the way she picks up her hair or the way she sits or the way she laughs. He looks at him while he keeps looking at her while she is not looking back.
He silently watches him as he pursues her and tries to make her laugh. He watches him try so hard.
He watches him smile brightly as he looks at his flowers.
And he looks while Baa-chan only looks sad when looking at hers.
Distant. Taciturn.
He looks and doesn’t understand it.
Until he does.
Years later.
.
The first time his soulmate cries, the sky does too.
The first time his skin fills with swirls of colors and the ink marks his right wrist with delicate strokes, the sky is screaming.
It rains outside. It rains like it hasn’t rained in months. The sky is dark and the clouds dance in the sky like giant cottons bathed in a pale gray. It's raining and Naruto is only five years old and the world revolves a little around him.
He can feel it burn on his skin. The way the ink burns and itches on the back of his wrist. It hurts a little. Not too much, but enough to notice. It leaves a stinging after the flower is outlined on his skin. The petals touching part of his hand, the center at the point where it connects with his arm.
It is bright blue.
It is pretty.
His soulmate should be very pretty too.
.
His first flower is a rose.
A blue rose.
.
His knees sting a little when he falls into the ground. There are tears that threaten to fall on the edge of his eyes, and everything looks very blurry, but Naruto rubs his small fist hard on his eyelids and forces himself not to let them fall. He pushes himself to his feet and two seconds later there is a foot that is pushing him back towards the ground.
There is laughter around him and the children say cruel things as they kick the dirt out of the yard in his face, in his eyes.
Everything is very blurry. And it hurts. On his chest, on the trail of blood that falls on his knees. But more than anything, he is angry.
Naruto screams back, Naruto screams back as they laugh at him, but the others don’t listen to it. He screams, the anger bubbling in the back of his throat, because it bothers him, because it's unfair, and because he's going to kick everybody's ass, they're going to see, he's going to—
They laugh at him.
They laugh and laugh and laugh and the laughter echoes inside the walls of his mind and it hurts.
It hurts, and it bothers him that it hurts.
He keeps screaming even when the kids have left, with their mocking smiles and their faces of disgust and their eyes that reject him, that judge him, that consume him.
And it hurts, but it is more anger (that burns, that ravages everything inside of him) than pain.
He clenches his fists, he stands up. The kids are no longer there but his face still has dirt and the warm blood continues to slide slowly below his knees.
Adults who walk around send him harsh, disgusted looks over their shoulders, as if he were something unpleasant in the middle of their path.
They don’t help him.
They never do.
And he comes home with a new scratch and a new bruise and more pain and anger that makes a hole in his chest and rumbles throughout his body. And there is the angry look on Baa-chan’s face, not with him, but with others, dying in concern as she carefully cleans his wounds. There is Ero-sennin again, trying to smile without the smile reaching his eyes.
And it happens again.
And again and again and again and again.
.
For a long time, Naruto doesn’t understand why everyone looks at him that way. With disdain, with mockery, with disgust.
He doesn’t understand why they hate him.
He didn’t do anything, did he?
For a long time, Naruto feels angry. Feels pain.
.
The world is hard. It makes you fall and it drags you on your feet a couple of times.
Naruto knows it since an early age. He savors it in his mouth.
But if there is something that Baa-chan and Ero-sennin have taught him, if there is something that his own spirit has taught him, it is to keep his head held high. It is to resist breaking, even when the world is breaking you with everything it has to push you down.
So he does it. He gets up again and fights back and doesn’t cry in front of others, even if it hurts.
Over time, he also stops crying in solitude.
Over time, he learns to not feel so alone. He learns to never give up.
.
The second flower appears in his skin when he’s six years old. It is painted on his left arm this time, just right in the inner elbow.
It is also blue.
It is also beautiful.
.
There is a shower, a spate of flowers a few months after he’s seven years old.
On his back, on his stomach, on his shoulders, on one of his collarbones.
They are all blue. Of different sizes, different petals, different pain.
They are all beautiful and pretty too.
.
The shower of flowers stops when he turns eight.
No flower even shows up again.
Not in weeks, not in months, not in years.
Until it does again.
When he’s fifteen.
.
.
.
.
1.
Looking back, Sasuke always had something that attracted Naruto in an almost inexplicable way. Whether it was in a negative or positive way, there was always something about him that caught Naruto's attention as the magnet attracted the metal. Since the beginning. And looking back again, Naruto seemed to attract Sasuke somehow as well. Both circulating and dancing around each other even without the other knowing, consciously and unconsciously.
So maybe it's not that weird. Maybe a part of him always knew and the other was denying it.
.
.
"Baka, that's my seat!" When Naruto looks up, with his chin still resting on his crossed arms in the desk, he meets some familiar, pretty, big green eyes and soft pink hair falling in waves behind thin shoulders.
"Sakura!" He can hear the tinge of hope, happy and sparkling, tinting his own voice as he raises his head to where she is crouching. Her green eyes move with annoyance towards him and her crossed arms tighten on her chest as she begins to rattle the ground with one of her feet. It's an habit she has when she's irritated, Naruto knows it.
"I said, you're in my seat, baka, move."
Naruto is about to answer about how beautiful she looks with that new ribbon when a shrill voice echoes behind them.
"Excuse me, did I hear well? Did you say that this is your seat? It seems that your big forehead is finally affecting you, Sakura, because I think that's my seat."
Sakura raises her eyes to where the blonde girl looks at her with a mocking smile behind him. Naruto can see the murderous aura that begins to emerge in wisps of steam out of her; one of her strands of pink hair falling carelessly over her face. His long fingers twitch in fists at the sides of her body and Naruto hears her growl "Ino" in a tone that reminds him of long nails making contact when sweeping over a chalk board and (as much as he did not want to compare the girl of his dreams with an animal) probably to the low growl that a wolf or lion makes when it has located its prey (or in other words: strident, dangerous, a little alarming) before leaning over Naruto's head and clash her forehead with the other girl’s, who continues smiling, without flinching in the least.
"This is my seat, Ino-pig."
"I don’t see your name written on it."
It's amazing how one's voice can sound so annoying and the other so sparkling. Ino seems to enjoy every time she makes Sakura angry. She even seems happier now that she has a smoking Sakura a centimeter from her face. Her blue eyes shine amused.
"Ugh," Sakura groans. "You only want it because I want it! What is your problem?"
Ino does not take her eyes off of her. Her smile does not waver, not even a little, but it takes a more crooked turn when she says:
"You only want it because Sasuke is next to it."
At the mention of the bastard, Naruto collapses a little on his seat. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Why does everything have to do with him? Why would someone want to sit next to him? Why does Sakura want to sit next to him? What does everyone see in him?
"Hey! If they are fighting for the place next to Sasuke, then I got here first, so technically..." begins to say a girl whom Naruto does not remember her name.
"I arrived before you! The place next to Sasuke is mine then!"
Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke.
What the hell do the girls see in him?
Naruto keeps thinking, annoyed, and doesn’t realize that he has stood up and is grunting inconsistencies between his teeth until Sasuke's dark eyes look straight at him.
Huh? Why is him so close? When did he get there? Why is he in front of Sasuke's seat so suddenly? When did he stand up?
Stupid Sasuke. It makes his brain stop working well.
"Any problem, dobe?"
The way he says the nickname is almost condescending, and that's another problem (another, besides his stupid hair with the shape of a duck tail and his stupid pretty-boy-face and his stupid eyes that are always looking at you like he’s better than you and his countless list of stupid things in which, in fact, he was better than him, the bastard), Sasuke likes to provoke him. He likes to make him angry. For some reason. What is, if not, the explanation that he is always calling him silly nicknames and showing off that he is better than him in everything? (Because yes, he does show off that he is better than him. Someone can’t be that perfect at everything and not expect that the worst in class to notice and humiliate himself in front of everyone. Sasuke had to be winning in everything in order to make him feel bad, is obvious.)
"Teme..." he growls, hands hard on his desk as he leans towards him. He challenges him with his eyes. He does not even know what he's exactly challenging him to, but he must be challenging something, right? That's what rivals do. And Sasuke is Naruto's rival self-proclaimed by Naruto himself, so yes, he must be challenging him to something, whatever it is.
But of course, Sasuke doesn’t even back up a bit. Not an inch, not a millimeter, and his eyes are implacable, inflexible, untamable. They don’t give in or falter or hesitate; fixed on him as if they want to engrave something there where they look.
"Naruto! Stop looking at Sasuke like that!"
"Baka! Get away from him!"
"Teach him a lesson, Sasuke!"
Naruto barely registers the voices that scream and begin to explode around him when they realize the fight of looks in which they are. For some reason, the only thing he can focus on is Sasuke and the feeling that begins to flow through his veins, through his skin. It happens every time he has to compete with the bastard. It's strange. In addition to the irritation and annoyance and anger that he makes him feel... Sasuke also lights that other thing inside of him. The adrenaline. Raw and hot that begins to bubble inside of him. That makes him want to fight and compete with him all the time.
But then. Then it happens.
The detonator.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hit you?"
Pulling the trigger.
Everything stops. Because Sasuke is right in front of him and Naruto moves so fast until he closes the small distance between them and collides with him.
And they kiss.
It lasts a very short time (although little more than acceptable, but he was surprised, okay? Give him a break) and is clumsy and without technique and Sasuke's lips are cracked against his own (points for getting something in which he is not perfect, points less for the way he got it). You can see his eyes expand a fraction before returning to his normal size, and his lashes flap, long, of the color of ink, above his pale eyelids. His skin is very pale.
The room is silent. Cloudy silence.
The kind of silence that is there before a storm breaks out.
The kind of calm is there before a hurricane.
And there is a hurricane.
The moment they manage to react, the moment Naruto manages to make his brain work again and break back (too fast, too abrupt. No lying, his neck actually cracks a bit), everything is still, as if any sudden movement can break the fragile ice on which they hang.
Sasuke looks at him.
He does not seem angry or annoyed or irritated or happy or... nothing.
He just looks at him. Stares at him.
And Naruto swears he seems a bit surprised, even confused, but before he can discern what might be going through his head, the murderous aura that he felt emanate from Sakura's pores a few moments ago comes back in waves much stronger and falls straight on him. His skin bristles.
Looking to the side, a group of girls are looking at him as if they want to tear off every limb of his body and eat it later.
Sakura is in the center.
The warning of danger that begins to ring loudly in his brain is enough to break— anything strange that was there before.
"Naruto! I should have been Sasuke's first kiss!"
Oh no.
And for some reason, that is just the moment when things start to change.
.
Don’t misunderstand. Sasuke was already an annoying, smug bastard with a stupid hairstyle before the kiss, but now Naruto feels that weird thing in his stomach every time he is too close to him.
Is annoying.
It makes him more angry.
He supposes that it is disgust in some way, because that kiss was Sakura's. Sasuke had no right to take it.
But whatever it is, whatever it was, Sasuke is his first kiss, and that irritates him (maybe much more than it should) a lot.
Sasuke Uchiha is his first kiss.
Just thinking about it stirs his stomach strangely.
God damn.
Sasuke is already better than him in everything (in the classes, in P.E., in the art club, the martial arts club, the literature club… even his eyesight is better, his stupid eyes that can see the letters of the poster on the other side of the soccer field), even if it costs him and it bothers him to admit it.
Did he also have to take this from him?
That bastard.
.
.
Iruka sensei hates him.
It's a fact, and it hurts, because Naruto believed that Iruka was one of the few teachers who really treated him well and even appreciated him. (He even took him to lunch at Ichiraku the first time he got a B on one exam. No one teacher had ever done that except him.)
Naruto trusted him.
He was wrong.
It's not like that. Iruka sensei hates him, and the day Naruto realizes it is the day when Iruka sensei commits the greatest possible betrayal.
The day he assigns the teams for the final science project of that year. The project that is worth 90% of his final grade and the project that, if he doesn’t pass with at least a C, he will have to repeat the school year.
Yes, the tragic day when Iruka sensei betrays his trust.
"... Team Six is..." He is saying, with his soothing voice echoing in the room, while Naruto thinks, still without knowing about the utter betrayal, "Awesome! He hasn’t named Sakura-chan yet, so he can still put me on the same team as her. I hope I’m with her. Really! With her and... well, it doesn’t really matter, as long as is not Sasuke."
"… Team seven is Uzumaki Naruto," he continues, breaking Naruto's thoughts for a moment. Hope bubbles within him and then, "... Haruno Sakura ..." Yes! Believe it! Naruto raises his hands in his seat while Sakura's head falls. Naruto doesn’t pay attention to it even if she is in front of him because he is busy celebrating in his head. Iruka sensei is the best! Iruka sensei loves me! Iruka sensei is...! (wait for it) "... And Uchiha Sasuke." (There it is, betrayal.) Iruka sensei hates me! He thinks, as he deflates in his seat, while Sakura jumps in front of him.
"Yes! In your face Ino!" She shouts, pointing a finger at the girl who just looks at her with crossed arms and rolls her eyes.
Iruka sensei gestures for Sakura to sit down. She obeys, and he is about to continue naming the teams, but Naruto gets up from his seat and points an accusing finger at the boy who seems as imperturbable as ever, with his hands joined in front of his mouth in an annoying habit that he has.
The dark eyes look at him out of the corner of his eye and his eyebrow raises a little, and that makes Naruto even more irritate.
"Naruto..."
"Iruka sensei!" He interrupts. "Why do I have to be on the same team with a liver like him?!"
Immediately, before the professor can silence them, the comments begin to float around him.
"Liver?"
"He doesn’t even know how to insult properly."
"I would like to eat liver. The one my mom prepares is..."
"How troublesome."
"What a fool he is."
"Sasuke doesn’t deserve to be on the same team as him."
"Tch."
Iruka seems about to collapse when he rubs the temples of his head with one hand and asks for silence.
"Naruto," he says, in a tone of sermon-activated, (as if he was not the one to blame for Naruto fair complains), "Sasuke had the best grade the last partial, and you had the worst..." there are giggles around him when he says, but Iruka continues anyway, "... I did it like that so it would be balanced."
Naruto stays there, gaping before dropping into his seat again, resigned. Growling low in his throat, complaining about stupid pretty boys with better grades than him.
So yes, Iruka sensei hates him. Because there's no way he can appreciate Naruto and put him on the same team as him. It's like putting Sakura and Ino together. It’s just wrong in every single possible way.
.
.
Sasuke, Sakura and he meet for the first time in the school library at five in the afternoon, two days after Iruka announced the teams, to start working on their science project.
Sakura is already sitting there when Naruto comes in (he recognizes her shiny hair in an instant), in a chair on the table next to the shelf with the letter F and the huge window on one side of the wall. She has her hair pulled back in a cherry-colored ribbon and a pink dress that matches her hair. His bright green eyes look up from the thick book she is reading when she hears the footsteps approaching.
There is no trace of Sasuke.
Naruto waves at her. She frowns.
"Saku..."
"You're late," she says, squeezing her fingers into the book she holds while Naruto drops into the chair next to her.
He wrinkles his nose.
"Sasuke is not here either!" Naruto says, indignant, because it's true. "I arrived…!"
"Silence!" The librarian shouts at him from the space she peeks out in counter. The voice is strong and authoritative. Naruto shrugs back in his seat.
"... earlier." He completes, in a quieter voice, though he still has a frown on his face.
Sakura rolls her eyes. "Sasuke is not late, he's just..."
"Did you find what I asked for, Sakura?" Interrupts a familiar voice behind him. Naruto turns around to stick out his tongue, but Sasuke ignores him anyway with not more than a little frown.
Sakura stutters a little.
"I— uh— I was looking for it but..."
"It's okay." Sasuke sits in the other chair and opens the book he's carrying in his hands. He pushes it a little towards the center so that his two classmates can see it.
The title “How to make an electromagnet?” is read with cursive letters in the cover. Naruto grimaces. Too complicated. How does Sasuke expect him to pass if he doesn’t even understand what they're supposed to do?
"I was explaining to Sakura that as we are seeing atmospheric or natural phenomena the teacher asked for an experiment on that. I thought maybe..."
"Magnets are not natural things! I'm not that stupid!"
"Dobe..."
"Don’t interrupt Sasuke, Naruto!"
"But…!"
"Silence!" Is heard on the other side of the room.
Sakura and Naruto shrink, Sasuke grimaces.
"As I was saying, I was thinking that we could make a tornado of fog or sand in a container. It is not as complicated as it seems, but for that we need to make an electromagnet first. Sakura thought it was okay, but..."
"You're not even asking for my opinion!"
"Lower your voice, baka, and stop arguing with Sasuke." Sakura hisses.
Sasuke pulls his lips to the side. Frowns. He looks irritated. "Hn. It's fine, dobe, what..."
"Don’t call me that! I'm not a loser! You think I’m one but I’m not!"
"Naruto! Lower your voice!"
"But Sakura, he..."
"Just say your idea, baka, he just said he’s going to listen to it. Even if it's stupid," she says, sounding irritated.
Sasuke glances at her.
Naruto grimaces.
"Well, wouldn’t it be easier to make just a volcano or something?"
"That idea is stupid, Naruto. Stop being so useless."
Naruto collapses a little on the table. His voice comes out as a hurt mutter when he speaks. "That hurts, Sakura-chan..."
"Well, it's the truth!" She says, with the same tinge of irritation bathing the edge of her voice.
Sasuke frowns. He looks at Sakura as if he wanted to say something to her, but he squeezes his lips and looks at Naruto instead.
"That idea is very basic, dobe. Is probably most in the classroom would do it."
"So what? What really matters is that we do the best one, not how many there are! You'll see, Uzumaki Naruto will make the best volcano that...!"
"Ugh, Naruto, you're so loud," Sakura complains. "Why do you never listen to Sasuke-kun? He…"
Naruto collapses back in the seat. Sasuke actually seems a little annoyed at the way Sakura starts talking too sweet and squeaky and leans towards him.
"Sakura, that's enough, you're also as annoying as he is. Probably more." He says, in an irritated tone.
She recoils from where she is clinging into his arm, her lips twisted down, her cheeks turning red. If it was not because her eyes are shining as if she were about to cry and her expression was so hurt, Naruto would be or laughing at how the Great Awesome Sasuke Uchiha lost his control and reacted like an common irritated teenager or complaining because he just said he was annoying (not as if it's something new for Naruto, he knows that Sasuke thinks he's annoying anyway, they have a lot of clubs together and every time Naruto calls him a bastard or an idiot, Sasuke responds with dobe or clumsy or irritating or, worst of all, one which he doesn’t even know what it means, usuratonkachi, what kind of people say such long insults?), but he will not do either of them because Sakura is about to cry.
"Bastard..." he growls, as he watches Sakura starting to cry. Sasuke raises an eyebrow at him, "what kind of...!"
Before he can throw himself at him, there is something holding him from behind. He starts throwing fists in the air trying to break free. Sasuke keeps looking at him as if he expected him to suddenly get free and start attacking him. Sakura wipes her eyes, she looks embarrassed, and immediately says:
"Sorry, Naruto is..." She starts, but something in the lady's face must stop her, because she closes her lips and bends her head in apology.
"I want you three out of the library."
"But...!" Naruto starts to protest.
"Out."
Sasuke and Sakura collect their things while the librarian takes Naruto's backpack with one hand and drags him with the other.
"Look what you did, Naruto!" Sakura shouts, when they are already outside.
"He started it!"
"Hn."
"Bastard!"
"Stop being so vulgar, Naruto!"
.
Their first time as a team does not start very well.
.
That same afternoon, while the shower water runs through his skin and Naruto can carefully inspect every corner of his body, he realizes something.
Sakura cried that same day.
Sakura cried that same day and Naruto doesn’t have any new flowers painted on her skin.
Sakura is not her soulmate.
It hurts a little more than it should.
.
.
The next day, Ino doesn’t stop looking at Sakura throughout the class. It's strange. In a way, it's like she knows what happened. Naruto wonders if Sakura talked to her about it.
He watches her carefully all day anyway, because he doesn’t know his intentions and Sakura has cried just yesterday, she doesn’t need someone else being rude to her.
Sakura may not be her soulmate, but Naruto still likes her, a lot, and he will do anything to keep her away from feeling bad. He knows that, from the bottom of his heart.
.
That same afternoon, they meet again in the library.
They argue again.
Sakura doesn’t cry this time, but Sasuke and Naruto argue so loudly that the people at other tables begin to shut them up. (More like Naruto screaming and Sasuke saying "hn" every time, which irritates him even more).
They are taken out of the library again.
.
.
The third time, they decide to start doing the work outside the library this time, instead of inside.
It makes things improves a little. At least this time they are already outside.
.
.
March arrives and with it comes the beautiful and fresh spring and, with it, the famous annual event of Konoha: The Martial Arts Demonstration Tournament "火 の 意志". Name inspired by the spirit and soul with which the co-founders of Konoha (and also founders of the event) worked, Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha.
The Academy, where he studies, is well known for its high scores and for the biggest number of first places won of all the schools that participate in the event at a state level.
Each year, the event is recorded and televised by ESPN and other channels and sports chains on April 16, in honor of the day one of the founders died. It is seen and known throughout the country, broadcast even on several foreign channels. It is an important event where students of second and third and last grade usually participate in order to obtain scholarships or be more recognized in the industry of this type of sports.
Naruto knows that his godfather Jiraiya participated in Japan's famous Civil War when he was younger, before starting with his trivial and stereotypical saga of adult novels (no, Tsunade, it's not cheap and denigrating pornography, it's high class literature with scenes that explore sexuality openly) just like his parents in their last years before moving to America. He was a trained ninja who fought against and beside wise samurai who trained him hard. It's something that Naruto always aspired to be when he was a child and Ero-Sennin told him stories of his adventures and his amazing, big deeds and feats with Baa-chan and the old man who likes snakes. The three of them were (and are) literally legends who fought on the fronts and saw the best and worst things in the war. Known as classic war heroes: a talented young man with deadly skills, knowledge of someone who you would think has lived a hundred years, strategic, a little cruel, sinister and mysterious; a diplomat, beautiful, incredibly strong and intelligent kunoichi with the most impressive medical knowledge and skills; and finally a kind and charismatic young man, famous among women, strong and clever and cunning. Peace symbols known among all clans. The three born leaders. The three forts. The Big Three. Veterans. Survivors. Now a successful businessman, the head running behind the Department of Hospitals all around the state and a famous writer. His own father was a student of Ero-Sennin and was known as The Yellow Flash since his very early beginnings for his speed, and fast strategic plans that guided his side to victory in the last years of war. His mother, Kushina, was known as well as the "Red Hot-Blooded Habanero". She was a general of troops; she was intense, passionate, impulsive, strong and temperamental, along with a lot of other things. She had a record of battles won as well.
In other words, Naruto carries it in his blood. The action. The passion for Martial Arts. He always enjoyed watching the tournament on television, even from a very young age, and since he moved to Konoha last year he has been training hard at the martial arts club for it.
Being born from the coolest people doesn’t mean that he was born with the skills, though, even if he had the blood and the potential. Naruto is clumsy and absent-minded and lose focus very fast. But he is more determined than everyone in his class. He’s stubborn and strong and smarter than he is given credit for. Since the beginning, he has trained harder than anyone to improve. To prove himself. To prove that he can be better than everyone, even Sasuke. And from being absolutely lousy, he feels he has an opportunity to be selected in the tournament this time.
Usually, first-year students are considered novices, and because of that, they are not allowed to participate, but this year is the 100th anniversary, and (as in the previous year) they will make an exception if they are good enough to be qualified in the internal preliminaries.
Naruto seriously wants to take the opportunity.
Last year he was a novice, he was new, and his technique was fatal, but now he has improved a lot.
He feels ready for it.
So when his eccentric professor in a too-flashy green leotard passes them a list at the club that afternoon to sign up those who want to be in the preliminaries, Naruto does not hesitate a second to write down his name. His careless calligraphy is just below the neat, clean handwriting that paints the name "Sasuke Uchiha." Hah.
After the class is over, the teacher reads the names that are written on the list and makes them stay a moment later to give them a motivational speech. He gives them a thumb up and speaks too loudly while there are tears in his eyes and gives a speech about the "passionate and flourishing youth of Konoha". Naruto doesn’t understand most of what he says, but he appreciates it.
He feels motivated, in fact.
However, things go awry.
As he is leaving the gym, he can hear the annoying, noisy and scandalous voice of the dirty, careless, dog-loving Kiba Inuzuka barking (yes, barking) derisively:
"So the loser decided to sign up? You're stupider than I thought, Uzumaki."
Naruto clenches his fists as he turns to face him.
"I'm going to kick your ass, dog's breath!"
Kiba smiles with his sharp teeth and mocks him. "If you go against me, you're going to wish that you never wrote your name on that thing." He says, and laughs. He turns around before Naruto can even answer, and Naruto clenches his fists and feels his anger boil inside of him.
"I’ll show you how wrong you are!" He shouts.
Kiba laughs again, without turning around, and makes a sign in the air with his hand, as if he is belittling Naruto's threat, as if he didn’t give a damn. It makes Naruto boil even more. "You’ll see!" He roars. He turns around and looks at some of his teammates, including Sasuke Uchiha watching. "All of you!" He shouts. "And you too, bastard! Even more than everyone here! I will kick your ass!" He threats, pointing his finger and pressing the tip into his chest. Sasuke doesn’t back down at all, (no surprise), even if Naruto's face is very close to his. His eyes look down at Naruto's finger, and then they go up to look at him straight in the eyes. He raises an eyebrow. His mouth curves a bit.
"Tch. All right, moron." He says, as if Naruto’s words were nothing.
Naruto frowns. Why do they all act as if his threats were empty? Like they didn’t care at all? Like he couldn’t...?
"All right." Naruto says.
The half-smile of the bastard only twists a little. "Hn."
If Naruto didn’t know him well, if Naruto didn’t know how much of an idiot he is... The way he looks at him... Sasuke almost seems to be paying attention to him. He almost seems to accept Naruto's threat. He almost seems... Like he’s defying him too. Huh.
"I’ll show you all!"
And with that, Naruto walks away down the hall.
Conversations explode even before he takes two steps.
"You cannot be in the same place without fighting for two minutes?"
"Tch. How troublesome."
"Shikamaru, can we go to the barbecue on the way out? Mom gave me money to ..."
Naruto boils.
I'll teach you. I’ll show you. You all will see.
.
.
The next time they meet after the announcement of the tournament, Sakura can’t attend. "An event from her mother," she says, looking a little embarrassed as she clutches her hands shyly and says it more to Sasuke than Naruto.
Since they have a late martial arts club that afternoon, they decide to stay two hours in the gym after school.
Their work is still a disaster, but at least they have agreed on the project. It will be the tornado of fog. Naruto has reluctantly agreed with many of the points that Sasuke mentioned. And Sakura agreed with him since the beginning.
As bad as the bastard is, and as much as he pisses him off, he's actually good at organizing. For some reason, he knows Naruto better than he thought and gives him tasks that are complex but simple to perform for him. Or simpler than other tasks would be at least.
Sakura, on the other hand, is an innate and good researcher to get materials from different sources, and Sasuke has assigned her many tasks that she has successfully accomplished.
It isn’t finished, nor even close to completion, but they still have time. So things at least have a beginning.
They don’t talk a lot. Sasuke is sitting cross-legged on the first step of the bleachers, buried in a thick-volume book called Science for Beginners and taking notes from time to time in a notebook that he has by his side. He bites the tip of the pencil between his teeth, rotates it between his fingers. His hair falls on his forehead. He is silent. And Naruto is too busy doing... his part, to be talking. It’s not like he’s too distracted seeing him, of course not. Why would he do that? Because Sasuke Uchiha actually does something human and bites his pencil? Pfft. No.
They are alone in the huge gym, with the murmur of the voices of the corridors around them and the echo of the sole of Naruto's shoes striking the floor while he is in charge of reading the chapter that Sasuke told him. They are alone; probably less than one meter away from the other when there is too much space in the gym.
They are alone and it is... much less... chaotic than Naruto thought it would be. Of what probably his whole class thought it would be. And it's not exactly nice, but not unpleasant either. It's at a neutral point, he guesses. Somehow, Naruto thinks, he must have gotten used to Sasuke's company after all those afternoons outside the library, because Naruto doesn’t feel like fighting so much with him this time. Because the silence that surrounds them is almost soothing.
"Hey, teme." He says as he turns and rests his feet on the second step, his head hanging upside down to the floor.
Sasuke looks up from where he has his head stuck in the pages of the book, and the black, long fringes at the sides of his face fall delicately on his cheekbones.
Naruto drops the book he's reading on his stomach and nibbles at the nourishing bar with chocolate chips that, in fact, doesn’t taste as bad as he thought it would (in fact, it's very sweet), and that Sasuke gave him at the beginning of the session because, yes, dobe, you need to eat something so you can work better and don’t fall behind; and, I’m sure you didn’t even have breakfast, did you?
Let Sasuke Uchiha be the mother hen type of friend. Huh. Who would have guessed. Not that they are friends or anything. He just tolerates him more. Just that. That’s all.
Bastard, do you think you can tell Naruto Uzumaki what to do? If the bar didn’t taste so good, I would not even have touched it to begin with.
"Dobe. Are you going to tell me something or...?"
Right.
"Do you think we will have to fight each other on the preliminaries?" He doesn’t know why, but the question has been spinning around in his head. The sole idea makes him excited.
Sasuke's mouth twists a little. He raises his eyebrow. "I don’t know." Then he adds, in a tone that sounds a lot like a mockery. "Why? Are you scared of me?"
Naruto snorts, throws his arms in the air. "Of course not. If anything happens and we actually fight, I'll sweep the floor with your stupid mop hair, you cocky bastard."
Sasuke raises his other eyebrow. "I thought it was a duck's tail."
"It can be both."
"Hn."
"Anyway, if we face it, it's obvious that I'm going to win. And afterwards, you'll have to admit that I'm better than you in every possible way. Because I am. And then, the whole school will have to do it, because Uzumaki Naruto has just got left the famous Uchiha Sasuke out of competition. And…"
Sasuke snorts. "Famous? I didn’t know you held me in such high esteem."
Naruto frowns as he bites the bar. He mumbles between his teeth, "Cocky bastard."
And then Sasuke Uchiha smiles (rather, smirks, but still) and says something that, somehow, goes inside Naruto's brain and breaks it.
"Good." He says, ignoring Naruto's insult, and as if he's not just going to say the thing that's going to put Naruto’s stomach up to jump a lot, later. "Whatever it is, I just want to know if I’m strong enough or not. To know the answer, I really want to fight the strongest ones. I've seen you train lately. The truth is, I want to fight you too."
Holy.
Ramen.
Naruto blinks as his eyes focus on the ceiling. His mouth hangs a little open even before he realizes it.
Does that mean that Sasuke recognizes him as a rival, that Sasuke Uchiha believes he is strong enough and worthy of fighting with him?
For some reason, that fills him with happiness from the tip of his feet to the tip of his head.
He doesn’t stop smiling after that for a long time.
.
.
"Kiba Inuzuka vs. Naruto Uzumaki" is written on the printed sheet stuck on the door of the gym, a week before the preliminaries, just below "Shino Aburame vs. Sasuke Uchiha".
That explains the disdainful smile that Kiba gave him this morning.
Kiba is strong, he is very strong, and Naruto knows it.
"I'm going to kick your ass, dog's breath!"
But Naruto Uzumaki never goes back on his word. He’ll show him.
He’ll show everyone.
It is a promise.
.
.
He trains. Hard. For a long time. In the evenings. Every day. In the mornings on weekends. He strives. More than anyone.
"I want to fight you too." Sasuke's voice echoes in his head, over and over and over and over again.
For some reason, it gives him more energy and strength to continue.
.
.
Three days before the preliminaries, when Naruto is arriving at their usual table outside the library, Sasuke and Sakura are already there. Which is not very strange or unusual, but this time, Sasuke and Sakura are talking, and it seems to be about something important.
Sasuke looks serious, and Sakura looks embarrassed. At least, she is blushing.
Are they talking about something romantic?
Naruto's heart rolls over in his chest. In a bad way.
On the other hand, Sakura always blushes when she's with Sasuke, so... It can't be... She... They can't... That is...
Naruto's heart rumbles in his chest. Hard. And it hurts more with each step he takes.
However, the pain doesn't last that long, because now that he remembers it, Sakura had that exactly same expression when she was about to cry the previous time that Sasuke told her she was annoying.
Holy... Naruto swears over all the delicious ramen in the world that if Sasuke makes her cry again he will...
"Oh, Naruto, hi!" Sakura says, her green eyes focusing on his.
Sasuke goes silent immediately.
Naruto looks at him. Then at Sakura. And back. And back.
"Is everything okay?" He asks, and Sakura smiles at her, almost shy, almost embarrassed.
"Oh, yes, of course, I... Sasuke and I were just talking about the advantages of using a new material in the fan holder that the device will have. You know, because the other material can get wet with the fog and ruin the project."
Naruto frowns. "Okay," he says, as if it isn't.
She smiles wider. "Seriously, thanks for worrying Naruto, but everything is fine."
Everything is fine.
Okay.
Okay, everything is fine. He will believe her. For this time.
.
.
Two days before the preliminaries, a miracle happens, because when it is five o'clock in the afternoon and Naruto starts putting his things back in his backpack to finally leave to his home, Sakura turns to him, him, Uzumaki Naruto, not Sasuke, and says:
"Hey, Naruto, do you think we can go home together? It's okay if you can't, but I've seen that you take the same path as me, so until we deviate, it would be fine if we go together, don't you think?"
Naruto stops, his science notebook half way into his backpack, and turns to see her. He blinks.
"Really?" He says, grinning. He is sure that his eyes are shining too.
Sakura smiles, her eyes soft. "Yes, really," she says, while nodding.
When they start walking, she seems like she wants to say something to him, but she stops and lets Naruto speak instead. She is friendly and listens to the conversation and asks questions from time to time, although she doesn't talk that much. She smiles, many times, but she seems a little distant, nervous.
Naruto wonders if something happened. Maybe.
Maybe not.
Sakura does not mention anything, and even if he wants to ask about it, he doesn't. He gives her space. If she really has something she needs to say, she will do it. When she feels good or comfortable enough to.
.
The next day, at the end of their work session, Sakura wishes both of them good luck for tomorrow.
The preliminaries are exclusively for members of the school, of all grades, and only those who are in the club can participate in them, but those who want to go and watch can do it if the date doesn't interrupt with their class schedule. Sakura tells them that she is going to go and support them both. She mentions that they should all go to the gym together, to give each other mutual support, or whatever. It's a bit strange, and Naruto thinks that maybe she's just trying to be nice when she smiles and points out how they're starting to work better together and how they are more united and bonded with one another, and how going the three of them would help both of them to give themselves a sense of tranquility and familiarity before the start of the fight.
He thinks she's decorating things to makes them look better than they are, but she's partially right. They have fallen into a routine, they know each other better. None of the three discuss as much as before. Even before Sakura began to behave more kindly around him, she didn't shouted at him as much as before anymore, she was calmer around him. Maybe she's right. Maybe is better if all the three of them go together. Maybe his nerves would calm down a bit.
Naruto and Sasuke look at each other for a second, and then nod.
Yes, it should be a good idea.
She smiles brighter at their answer.
.
They meet in the hallway at eight in the morning, half an hour before the preliminaries start. Sasuke is already there, dressed and leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes are closed. Naruto thinks he may be trying to focus himself. Maybe he's nervous.
He knows he is. But more than nervous, he is anxious. He's going to totally kick Kiba's ass, he made a promise. Believe it!
He's about to greet Sasuke when he hears Sakura coming. She arrives almost at the same time as him and runs to catch up with him. She has the red ribbon in her hair again and pretty pink-chewing-gum shoes. Naruto smiles at her and waves a hand when he sees her running towards him.
"Hey!" She greets them when she gets where they are. "How are you, nervous?"
Sasuke doesn't open his eyes from his position on the wall.
Naruto laughs at the question.
"Hn."
"Pfft. Of course not. I am anxious! I'm going to so kick dog's breath's ass!"
Sakura beams. "All right! It looks like you two prepared yourselves a lot! I'm sure you both will win!"
Naruto smiles, nods, raises his fist in the air and is about to say something really cool when...
"Sakura!"
That happens.
A boy with thick eyebrows, a bowl cut and a leotard very similar to the one that always carries his martial arts teacher is running towards them, waving a hand to say hello.
"Sakura Haruno!" He shouts, his voice too loud. There is a girl with brown hair gathered in two buns running behind to reach him and, further back, a boy with long hair with a stern expression and crossed arms is following her, walking. When the leotard boy comes to where they are, he gives a thumbs up and smiles. He practically shines. He doesn't even seem affected though he just run through the whole corridor as if there were a bull chasing him. "Be my girlfriend, I promise that I will dedicate my life to take care of you!"
Sakura blinks quickly, her arms limp at her sides. Naruto is so surprised that he almost falls over. He looks to one side, and even Sasuke seems to have found something of interest in the conversation. He has not moved from where he is and has not uncrossed his arms from their position, but he has opened his eyes to see the owner of the voice.
Sakura tilts her head to one side, the wave of pink hair falling on her side. "Uh, oh... I..." She stumbles over the words. "Sorry, who are you?"
Naruto laughs at his response.
The boy does not seem depressed even a little because the girl has not said _yes_ to his not-too-normal proposition, he just smiles wider; but, again, we are talking about the kind of guy who runs in the middle of a corridor and knows the name of a girl just to ask her to be his girlfriend. Everything is possible. "I'm Rock Lee! I…!"
The girl who was running after him finally comes to where they are and hugs the boy, Lee, from behind (though it looks more like an octopus trying to crash its dinner with its tentacles) and covers his mouth with one hand. She gasps a little, "Are you serious? You know you're too fast, that was cheating! And I told you to not scare her!" She scolds him, frowning. She points to where Sakura and Naruto look at the scene with big, wide eyes. Naruto seems more like he's about to fall into the ground and start laughing his head off, but Sakura seems more curious than anything. "Is that the face of a girl who hasn't just got scared because a random boy has just run to her to ask her to be his girlfriend? I don't think so!" She waves her free arm in the air as she says it, looking like a mother scolding her son because he just took a lollipop at the super when she told him not to and is now eating it. She does not wait for the boy to answer, and turns to look at them. Her expression changes to an embarrassed one, and she laughs awkwardly as she stills cover the other boy's mouth. "I'm sorry about that, he's usually like that all the time."
"Weird?" Naruto offers.
"Baka!" Sakura says, punching his arm.
"Ow, Sakura-chan, that hurts!" He moans, rubbing the spot where Sakura's knuckles have just bruised.
"Don't be rude!"
"It's the truth!"
Sakura gives him a death glare that makes him shut up. She looks embarrassed towards the others, and says, "I'm sorry, it is. Um. He meant that he's... too eccentric." It sounds more like a question than an affirmation, but the other girl laughs.
"No problem. We know that Lee is weird. We don't love him any less because of that. I'm Tenten by the way. He is Rock Lee, as he said, and our silent friend from right there," she points to the boy who is a meter behind her, with his arms crossed and dressed in an elegant combat suit. More elegant than Sasuke's, which is saying a lot, "it's Hyuuga Neji. All three of us will compete today! We are of second year!"
"This year's rookies have guts." The boy says, ironically, superbly. "Tch. Rather, I would say that they are presumptuous or very stupid. We prepare ourselves a whole year and they think they can beat us so easy? It is an insult."
"Uh, Neji..."
"Hey, Girl Hair! If you have a problem with me, let me tell you that I can kick your ass right here and right now, so...!"
There is a sigh at his side. "Dobe..."
Sakura goes forward when Naruto walks towards The Idiot with his fist raised and takes him by the arm to stop him. She laughs nervously. "Naruto, be nice." She says, with a tone everyone can hear. She pulls him towards her and her face contorts a little. "Are you crazy, baka? They are sophomores, think before you act! Besides, he's the genius of the Hyuuga family, have you ever heard of him? He has won more fights than anyone in this school, in just one year. He has medals of international events. He's going to massacre you if you fight him." She whispers vehemently.
Naruto is about to say, "I don’t give a shit if he's the prince of Europe or whatever, I want to kick his ass!" but something catches his attention at his side.
Sasuke moves from his place against the wall. His expression is tired, although Naruto can say that Neji's comment also irritated him. He can know that by the way he moves. Too rigid, though he’s trying to seem like he doesn’t care. "Tch.” He says. “Let's just go to the gym, dobe. It's getting late anyway."
Naruto frowns and growls low in his throat, because that’s not the answer he was expecting, but a look at Sasuke calms him down a bit. Sasuke’s eyes are fierce beneath irritation. They say to him, we are only going to be able to teach him what we are capable of in combat, dobe. Shut up.
They tell him he's dying to hit something right now, and to be honest, Naruto wants that so badly too.
So they move and they walk pass the group in front of them, both Sasuke and Naruto determined. Sasuke is calmer than Naruto, who walks around smoking, but his movements are definitely more intense.
Maybe it was a good thing to run into that asshole. It motivated them more.
"Hey, what's your name?" The Girl's Hair Jerk asks when they go two steps in front of them.
Sasuke turns and kind of smiles, condescending, challenging. Naruto likes the intensity and ferocity in his eyes. They have this fire that he always has when he’s challenging Naruto, but they’re even more intense. It gives him the good kind of goosebumps for some reason.
"I don’t need to tell you that. You will know it when they name me for having won."
Ohhhhhh. Okay. Wow. So Sasuke can be Sassuke. Wow. All right. Okay. Excellent.
Naruto laughs, and if it weren’t because he knows Sasuke will ignore him, he would have said something like "high five, dude! That was brilliant!"
So yes, Sasuke has just crushed the ego of a guy with an elegant last name and another boy has just proposed to Sakura as a knight in armor in a green leotard.
It was a good way to start his day.
.
.
The preliminaries begin at exactly 8:30 a.m.
Sasuke and he are sitting in the stands, on the last step stuck to the ground, next to the other competitors. The second year group is next to them. Sakura is right above. She squeezes their shoulders as the coach beings the lot to see the order in which they will participate.
Naruto gets the number 10. The last one.
Sasuke gets the number three.
Naruto doesn’t know which option is better. He doesn’t think so much about it, though.
Sakura wishes them good luck when they start the tournament.
Bushy Brow (as Naruto decided to nickname him since this morning, because Guy with Green Leotard is too-long), is the first one to fight. He goes against another senior student whose name Naruto can’t remember.
Actually, Bushy Brow is awesome. Naruto realizes this two seconds after he starts the fight.
He is fast. Very fast. He is incredibly agile and flexible and lethal too.
Naruto and Sakura make identical expressions of "Wow!", "Cool!", "Awesome!", "He's fast!" At the same time. Both waving their arms or jumping in their seats.
The girl sitting next to Naruto, Bushy Brow's friend, laughs when she sees them.
"He's amazing, isn’t him?" She says, as she watches her partner totally smash his opponent in less than two minutes. "He tried so hard to get where he is right now. He wanted to show everyone that a "simple injury" was not going to stop him, although what happened to him was more than just an injury. The boy with whom he fought the last tournament almost left him paralyzed. Or at least unable to participate in this kind of fights."
The coach announces that Lee is the winner right at that moment, when Bushy Brow gives a last combined kick that leaves his opponent knocked out on the ground. Wow. That movement is magnificent. Naruto has to ask him how to do it.
But returning to the topic that Bushy Brow almost dies...
"What?" Naruto says.
"Really?" Sakura asks, also returning to the conversation. Her eyes are wide open. She seems really surprised and horrified at the same time. Her voice is also tinged with concern. "He must have been very strong then! His opponent! Because Lee is really impressive!"
Tenten turns to see them while still applauding and smiles sadly. Her eyes look somewhat dark, as if she were remembering a bad memory. "His opponent was strong, yes, but more than anything, he was crazy. It is very sad. For a moment I thought— We all thought that— But Lee has always been impressive. Very strong too. He has always known how to get out of difficult situations and improve. I should have imagined that he would recover without any problem. But still, I was so worried. And Lee became very depressed at first, even if he was trying to hide it. I get it. That all his dedication could have gone to trash just for one fight— And the thing is… he always had to try so hard because of his condition, so..."
"What condition?"
She frowns. "Oh. How strange, I thought everyone knew. Lee has chronic osteoporosis. Weak, small bones. That means it's very easy to break them. A sport like martial arts should have leave him on a stretcher weekly. But like I said, Lee has always worked hard, especially thanks to Gai Sensei. He gave him the power to dream and to think that his dreams could come true. But then the accident happened last year and Lee almost gave up everything he had worked for, but Gai Sensei helped him a lot and we..."
"I don't think it's pertinent to be talking about our partner's condition with them, Tenten." Jerk with Girl Hair murmurs next to her. "Also, Gai sensei was wrong that time, filling his head with dreams like that, Lee could have died in that operation."
Tenten turns to him and gives him a wry smile. "Oh come on, the whole school, or at least most of it know it already, they will find out one way or another, I don't see the problem, and besides, about the other thing, you were also worried about him that time, don't pretend that only Gai Sensei supported him in his decision, we were part of it."
The boy has an annoyed expression on his face, crosses his arms over his chest. So the Jerk has a soft spot for Bushy Brow. Huh. Everyone has one, he supposes. But that doesn't take away how presumptuous he is and the expression of superiority in his face that makes Naruto want to knock out his teeth.
"Tch, do whatever you want."
Tenten rolls her eyes. "I swear, you two, honestly. But anyway," she continues, turning to Naruto and Sakura again. "A miraculous woman came after Gai Sensei went in search of her and operated him. It was a difficult decision, Lee could have died, and the healing possibility was 20% at best, but she was really impressive and patient and the operation cured him as much as possible. Lee had to do movement therapies afterwards, but just look at how he is. He did all of them in two weeks when he should have work at least months with them, and he kept training to get through. It was a complicated, very hard year. Gai sensei, Neji and I support him all the time, but he obviously was very sad to think that something could go wrong and he could never stand up again, or use his legs, or move easily. His whole life has been twice harder than anyone else, so I'm not surprised that he now tries the triple, but still."
"Wow." Sakura and Naruto say in unison, just when she ends with a somewhat sad smile.
"I know." She grimaces. "And the guy he fought with last year? A psycho, for sure. He went crazy. Lost all control. He almost kills him. I'm sure he knew about his condition because he made some... movements that put pressure on the bones. It's just that, as far as I know, nobody had ever been able to even hit him..."
"Amazing."
"He must be very talented!"
"He was. But when Lee hit him one time... and then another... and another... I mean Lee is too fast. He didn’t even see it coming. He went crazy. The host had to stop the fight and penalize him. It is very likely that this year he won’t appear again, which is good for you guys! I would never want to run into him again."
"Wow! Bushy Brow is really awesome! Get out of something like that! He is really strong!"
Tenten smiles and nods. "Mhm. He's incredibly annoying but I've always admired him a lot. And…" Before she can finish, a voice interrupts her from below.
"Tenten!" When she looks down, Lee is crying and smiling brightly at her. "Neji! I passed! I passed!"
Tenten gives him a thumbs up. Smiles. "Well done Lee!"
Neji nods besides her. "Good job."
That only seems to increase Lee’s cry. And it only gets worse when Gai Sensei appears behind him.
Tenten grimaces and stands up. "I'm sorry, but I have to go and... try to get those two to not drown or something."
Naruto and Sakura laugh. "Sure."
Naruto looks down at the scene unfolding on the field.
To be honest, and fair, if Naruto had the same story as him, he would probably be crying too. So it's not that weird.
And he sure is strong. Awesome too.
He would like to fight with him.
Looking to his side, he sees Sasuke as he looks down at Bushy Brow as well. Naruto wonders if he heard the story. He wonders if Sasuke wants to fight him too.
That would be interesting. Bushy Brow and Cocky Bastard. Hm.
"Hey, Sakura," he says, with shit-eating grin, looking up. She stops looking at Lee to look at him.
"Hm?"
"Your boyfriend is really cool, don’t you think?" His smile grows like the Cheshire cat.
"Baka." Sakura growls, as she punches him again, this time on the shoulder.
Naruto's smile hesitates a little. "Okay, okay, I was kidding, I was kidding!" Naruto begins to cover himself while Sakura throws him more punches. He laughs anyways.
.
.
The bastard is pretty impressive too. He wins almost immediately. Naruto almost feels bad for Shino. That last movement sure was going to hurt for a week.
.
By the end, almost his entire class has arrived. They gather next to where Sakura is and observe and make comments from time to time. Shikamaru's comments are the most analytical of all. Naruto likes to listen to them. He’s always right when he says who will be the winner.
When it's time for his fight, Naruto is anxious. Sakura smiles at him to give him good luck and even Sasuke looks at him a little more than he should and crashes his fist with his when Naruto puts his own in front of him.
Oh yeah. Naruto is going to sweep the floor with Dog’s Breath.
.
"So, who do you think will win?" Tenten asks them.
"Kiba." Ino, Chouji and Shino say. Hinata and Shikamaru remain silent.
"Naruto." Sakura and Sasuke answer, at the same time.
Tenten blinks, then laughs. "Okay?"
Shikamaru turns and frowns at Sasuke. He doesn’t seem annoyed or angry, but a little surprised. And curious. The others have astonished expressions while also looking at him. Everyone knows the animosity that exists between them. The tension. The usual bickering, the mutual desire to be in each other's throats all the time. But they also know they've been getting along a little better lately, maybe...
"Why do you think Naruto will win, Sasuke-kun?" Ino asks, clearly surprised. Shikamaru by his side seems genuinely curious. It is normal, Shikamaru’s strong point are the facts, the strategies. He wants to hear the arguments of how someone like Naruto, someone who started so bad at the beginning and was still very clumsy when he signed up, could beat one of the best students in the course.
"Naruto is strong." Sakura says, and it seems like she means it.
"Sakura is right." Sasuke agrees. "Naruto can be clumsy and distracted, but he's strong. He's really stubborn too, he wants to participate in the tournament more than anything, and he's determined in his goals, he trained very hard. Kiba is one of the strongest in the course, yes. He is brutal and strong, but also coarse and impulsive. Especially impulsive; he doesn’t think that much about his technique precisely because his strong point is brute force. He most likely would go with all he has and would try to finish off Naruto from the beginning of the fight. Naruto knows it, he has analyzed his fights, his style; he can be distracted and everything, but he is smarter than people give him credit for, I saw him train a lot in his blockade, he probably thinks about avoiding fighting at first until he gets Kiba tired. Kiba is tough, and he has a lot of energy, but being as reckless as he is makes him wear down everything from the beginning, which is a weak point. And knowing the dobe, if Kiba provokes him enough, he may start fighting as well instead of dodging, but even then, even if Kiba is smart or fast or strong enough to make Naruto fight instead of blocking, the fight will be reduced to see who gets tired faster. In other words, a fight of resistance; and Kiba can be tough and resistant, but Naruto definitely has a lot more stamina than Kiba. He will endure it more than enough."
Sasuke finishes just as the coach announces the start of the fight. His classmates look at him surprised, shocked.
"That's a good point." Shikamaru points out. "Very good points."
Sasuke leans forward, his eyes focused on the field. "Hn."
He doesn’t pay much more attention later to the looks that Sakura or others "surreptitiously" throw at him out of the corner of their eyes. He is too focused on something else.
.
In the end, Sasuke is right. Naruto tries to dodge a lot at first. It costs him a bit, Kiba has improved a lot and is faster than before, but in the end, Sasuke's analysis is correct. Kiba goes with everything since the start, he doesn’t contain himself, not even a bit. Naruto doesn’t do it either when he starts to counterattack. And although it takes a little longer than Sasuke had in mind, Naruto seriously kicks his ass.
.
Both pass the preliminaries. And that’s amazing.
.
Ero-Sennin buys him a bowl of his favorite ramen that night. Baa-chan rents his favorite movie to see it with him.
Sakura makes both of them homemade bentos as a gift.
His classmates don’t exactly congratulate him, but they look really surprised. Naruto doesn’t care that much, Kiba's bitter face as he growls all day long is enough to make him happy.
Girl Hair passes, just like Bushy Brow.
Part of Naruto seriously hopes that, if he doesn’t have to fight Sasuke on the tournament, he'll fight him. He wants to kick his fancy ass too.
.
.
Two days after the results of the preliminaries, Sakura is walking besides him again, both heading home.
"You know," she is saying, "it was really smart to change the temperature of the container, Naruto, I don’t know why I didn’t think about it sooner."
Naruto blinks. "Huh?"
Sakura looks up at him, her eyebrows raised slightly. "The temperature? On the thermometer?"
Naruto tilts his head and blinks, searching in his brain if... "Ah!" He says, while one of Sakura's eyes trembles a little, like a twitch. "That!" Sakura looks at him and the fingers at her sides twist, as if she wants to hit something. "That was just an accident when I was—" Sakura takes a deep breath, one, two, one, two. She says to herself to calm down, to breathe, to not despair. "I mean," Naruto says, laughing a little nervously. He scratches the back of his head, smiles like when he wants to apologize for something, "yes, that! That was totally on purpose! Yes, I— I just thought it was obvious, you know," he continues, as he puts his arms behind his head and grins openly. "Uzumaki Naruto is a genius, you know! Believe it! He's the best at... Uh, are you okay, Sakura? You look a little… altered."
Sakura raises an eyebrow, clenches her fists at her sides. She smiles at him, though it seems more like she wants to scare him than to reassure him. Her voice is somewhat tight when she speaks, forcibly sweet, as if she was trying very hard not to scream. "What? No! I'm fine! I'm perfect!"
Naruto frowns. "Um, but your eye..."
Sakura raises both eyebrows. "Mm? No, it's okay!"
"But it's shaking."
"Oh, it's just a nervous tic, I'm fine, don’t..."
Naruto lowers his hands from behind his head. He’s going to touch her shoulder, "Are you su—?"
"I said I was fine!" She screams, her eyes a bit mad. Naruto flinches back.
"Sorry!"
She looks immediately sorry. "Oh! No, no! I'm the one who’s sorry! I shouldn't have screamed at you! I'm. I'm just nervous that’s all."
Naruto stops in his tracks. He blinks. "Uh? Nervous? Why? We've been doing this for many days."
Sakura stops and turns to face him. "Um, yes, but... There's something..." She doesn’t look at him, she looks down instead, and rubs her arm shyly. "Well, uh... It's just that, the reason why I called you to go together the other time, and these times, it's not exactly because we take the same path."
Naruto blinks. His heart begins to bounce madly in his chest. He wants to smile, although he is very nervous all of a sudden. Excited? Scared?
"I... Well, it's... I wanted to apologize."
Naruto's heart slows again until it returns to its normal rhythm. Oh. So it wasn’t— Sakura wasn’t going to— Good. Good. Part of him already knew it anyway. He is not sure if he is happy or not because it is an apology instead of a confession though.
However, Naruto is a bit confused. "Apologize? Why?"
Sakura rubs her arm timidly again. She looks to the left, to the right, to the ground. "Well. For everything. For calling you useless and dumb, and yelling at you. We're a team now, I shouldn’t have..."
"Oh!" Naruto says, interrupting her. "It's okay, Sakura! Don’t worry about it!"
She stops looking at the ground to look at him. She tops herself with bright, cerulean eyes and a bright smile. She blinks. "Seriously? You forgive me… Just like that?" She seems genuinely surprised at his reaction, as if she didn’t expect it to be so easy.
"Yes, why wouldn’t I?" Naruto grins. He puts his hands behind his head again. "It's all good! No problem! Now we're walking together, aren’t we? We've done it several times! It's nice! I like it!"
Sakura blinks a couple of times before smiling. Her eyes become soft. The softest they’ve ever seen with him before. She seems genuinely calm and sincere when she says, "I also like to be with you, Naruto, maybe we should walk together more often. Maybe even on the mornings before we get to class, we have the same schedule, right?" She says and turns to continue walking.
Naruto does not realize that he is standing there blinking and gaping like an idiot until Sakura looks over her shoulder to nod at him. "You're not coming or what?" She says, almost laughs, at his dumb expression.
He nods, because he's physically incapable of talking in the moment.
Sakura just... Sakura just said it was nice being with him? That they should walk together more often? What? Is he dreaming? If so, please don't wake him up.
He knows her words can be empty, full of false promises, but he chooses to believe in her.
He feels like he can believe in her.
.
They walk together after their work the next day again.
And the next day.
And the next.
And the next, and next, and next.
And the next week.
They even start walking together in the mornings too.
She doesn't talk a lot the first times. More like listens and nods and smiles. Sometimes, Naruto makes her laugh.
The next week, though, she starts to talk too.
She is so pretty and smart, Naruto thinks. And he’s happy. He really is.
.
Everything is fine. Everything is more than fine.
Until it isn’t.
.
.
To be honest, Naruto must have suspected something was wrong. It's not normal for Sasuke to be so quiet all the time. Well, it is. But the silence that was there in the last afternoons was... different. More tense.
Sasuke acted differently. His movements were very rigid. His answers sharp. He didn’t even try to fight back when Naruto made an offensive comment about his hair at one time. He just decided to look angry and irritated and sit there. Besides, Naruto had seen him look at Sakura and him when they start to chat more animatedly in their sessions. He had seen him look at them in the classes. He had seen him look at them when they arrived in the morning and, when his eyes casually met Naruto's, he pretended he wasn’t looking.
Something was very weird in there.
Naruto wanted to ask what was happening, why he was acting like that. It wasn’t very normal on him.
And maybe he should have asked.
Maybe.
.
The next Friday, Sakura arrives a little late. Before she does, Sasuke and Naruto are alone in the table. Is quiet and there's not many others around.
Naruto greets him when he arrives and he is taking notes in his notebook. Sasuke greets him back, without taking his eyes off the book for more than three seconds to look at him.
Naruto laughs. "You're really more nerdy than I thought, you know, teme?"
Sasuke frowns. He actually seems a little irritated.
"Do you know where Sakura is now? She has the container, so I can’t try the modification without her." He says, raw and plane, as if he had no emotions.
Naruto frowns. "No, why would I know?"
Sasuke lets out something very much like a snort. "Well, you and she have been hanging a lot these days, haven’t you? I assumed she would tell you, since you two are suddenly very close friends." He mumbles something else between his teeth that Naruto cannot hear because Sasuke's face is covered with the book.
Naruto begins to feel the familiar discomfort that starts to burst in the back of his throat when he speaks with him. "What are you talking about, bastard? She and I just walk together home. Besides, why do you care about that? We’re not supposed to be irritating and annoying to you?"
Sasuke stops writing, but he doesn’t look at him yet. "I don’t care, dobe." He says, as if he cared.
"Then why do you mention it?"
"It was just an observation of what I had seen these days."
Naruto snorts, rolls his eyes. "I knew you've been seeing us weird these days. What's the matter? Why does it bother you that Sakura and I are together? I thought you weren’t interested in her that way."
Sasuke is now looking at him, and his eyes are fire. There is a wrinkle between his eyebrows. He looks angry.
"And I’m not." He states. "Not like that."
"So?" Naruto shouts, leaning over the table to look closer at his eyes. To show him that, whatever it is for, he won’t give in on this fight.
Sasuke's face contorts. As if he wanted to say something but at the same time he was trying very hard to swallow the words that scream to get out.
"Hn."
Naruto raises his eyebrows, "That's it? Hn? The Great Sasuke Uchiha gives up?"
Sasuke seems about to punch him in the face. Naruto smiles. That's it. He thinks. Get angry. Fight.
"I don’t understand what you’re talking about." He says, as if he was clenching his teeth. "I'm not giving in. I'm just not going to fight you over something that doesn’t make sense."
"You're not going to fight me because you know you're jealous and it's ridiculous."
"I'm not jealous!"
"Yes, you are! Admit it! You like her and you're jealous because I'm with her! And I’m not even with her like that, by the way! I just walk her home!"
Sasuke's eye has a twitch. He squeezes his hands hard on the table, Naruto can see his knuckles go white. His gaze is intense, penetrating in Naruto's eyes, as if they wanted to make a hole in his head.
"I didn’t think you were so stupid, dobe," he says, and he seems sincere, angry, finished; tired, "but apparently you are."
"What do you mean, bastard? I'm not stupid! You're just stubborn!"
Sasuke rolls his eyes, the way he does before finishing a fight. Before leaving Naruto screaming threats alone in the hallway because he is not interested in discussing with him anymore. He takes the book again and turns the page to read, although his movements are visibly stiffer than before.
"And you are dense like a brick."
"Hey!" He shouts, putting his hand on the pages of the book so that he cannot continue reading. Sasuke ignores him, drops the book and takes his notebook instead to keep writing down notes. "Don’t ignore me! That— What the hell do you mean? Bastard! Listen to me!"
Ten minutes later, when Sakura arrives, she finds them on the ground, wrestling like 5 years old. Both entangled with each other. Sasuke has Naruto’s legs immobilized, but Naruto is punching him in the side. Everything is a tangle of arms and legs.
"Guys?" She asks, sounding like she wants to strangle them both and like she's genuinely curious about what the hell is going on.
They stop a little to look at her from their position on the ground, their breaths fluttering.
"He started!" They both scream at the same time.
"It's not true! You threw yourself at me first, dobe! What the hell did you expect me to do?"
"You were ignoring me, what the hell did you expect me to do?" He says, imitating his voice with a fake fancy voice.
Sasuke rolls his eyes. "That's why! You can’t stop being immature even for a minute!"
"I'm immature? Really? Well, Sasuke, I don’t think mature people ignore their classmates when they talk to them as if they were five years old!"
"And there you go again with that! Who is the one that looks like a five years old right now?"
Sakura just facepalms herself. God, these guys.
.
Naruto thinks that maybe, maybe, he should be upset. He should be angry with Sasuke for fighting with him and for being ridiculously jealous of something that was not even happening! And that he didn’t even have the right to, considering the number of times he had an opportunity with Sakura and he wasted!
Naruto thinks maybe he's being very stupid, but the truth is, he is not angry.
Sasuke stops acting weird after that fight. He doesn’t mention anything about the fact that Sakura and Naruto are spending more time together. He’s very quiet again, but in the usual way. And he fights Naruto again, the way he always does. It's as if, in a way, the fight would have helped him to vent whatever it was... eating him inside.
Everything returns to normal again.
The most normal that can be with them, at least.
Sasuke and Naruto argue, yes, but Naruto would dare to say that it is almost... friendly.
It's strange. The way their relationship moves and changes and distorts like a flame of fire in different weathers. With water, wind, heat, cold.
Naruto wouldn’t have it in any other way, though.
.
Their teamwork is much better with each passing day. Naruto is sure that they will get an excellent note at the end.
.
Naruto is still training. A lot. All the time. Sometimes, Sasuke stays with him in the gym in the afternoons. Other times, Naruto finds him leaving when he is going inside, or the other way around, when he is the one leaving.
Is like they even kinda have a routine.
.
.
Two days before the tournament, the fights and the order of them is announced.
Naruto’s fight is the penultimate one. And next to his name is written the elegant name Hyuuga Neji.
Oh yeah.
Naruto is anxious.
.
Sasuke is up against a guy named Sabaku no Gaara. Very famous in the eastern school, (the big one, somewhat rustic, but outstanding in qualifications and competitions in the dry regions of the county), apparently.
Hm. Anyway, Naruto is sure that the bastard won’t be so bad. He most likely wins. But Naruto is going to destroy him in the scores, oh yes, believe it!
.
The big day arrives and it's— well, Naruto is more nervous than he thought.
Jiraiya wishes him good luck in the morning before leaving him at the door of the stadium. He apologizes for not being able to be there, he says he will see him on television.
Naruto smiles at him and tells him that it's okay, that there's no problem. He says goodbye to him while he sees him getting away in the car.
There are many people when he goes inside and many cameras too. Many more people than he thought... oh holy ramen...
For a moment, he thinks he's going to throw up. He feels dizzy. Maybe— maybe he was wrong, maybe he wasn’t ready and...
"Hey, Naruto!" Sakura greets him when Naruto is about to turn around and go back to the exit. "You finally came! You look good! Come on, I saved a place for you and Sasuke-kun! We are up with the others in the class. Let's wait for him there, okay? He hasn’t arrived yet."
Sakura's smile makes him calm down again.
Pfft. What was he thinking. He's Uzumaki Naruto, he obviously won’t have any problem. He came here ready to show everyone who he is, and now it's the time.
Naruto Uzumaki doesn’t back down at his words.
Sure.
He pushes his nerves to the bottom of his stomach to them be replaced with a load of adrenaline.
Besides, he hasn’t shown Sasuke what he is capable of yet.
The bastard will see it too. Naruto will boast him with how much better than he is.
So Naruto smiles and follows Sakura into the crowd and listens as she talks about how anxious she is to see them fight and who she believes will win in other fights and what she has heard from the other schools.
All right.
Naruto is ready.
Naruto is more than ready.
.
.
The tournament starts.
.
And… Sasuke hasn’t showed up. Sasuke has not showed up and the first fight is him, the prodigy of good genes, against the lethal redhead beast of the eastern school.
Not that Naruto cares, of course, but why the hell does not he show up.
The fight is postponed on the orders of the jury until the next fight.
Dammit. The bastard better show up already.
.
The first fight is between two seniors.
A blond girl of the Eastern school fights against an exotic-pink hair girl with weird tattoos of the North Music School. The fight is interesting. Both of them are very powerful and intense in their fighting style. In the end, the girl from the east wins. Temari, that's her name.
Naruto watches the fight with enthusiasm, occasionally glancing at the empty seat beside of him. He knows Sakura does it too, he knows she's worried. What the hell is wrong with that bastard?
.
Sasuke doesn’t show up. The fight is postponed. Again.
Two more fights.
Another.
He still doesn’t show up.
.
Naruto doesn’t know why it gives him an ugly feeling in his stomach.
It’s not like something bad happened to him, right?
.
Another fight.
.
"Hell, what's wrong with that bastard? Is he cowardly enough to not even show up at the fight? What is he thinking?"
Shikamaru on his other side lets out a sigh. "Naruto, stop being so restless. I'm sure he will come, he is just delayed for something."
"But he doesn’t show up! Ugh! It's making me nervous!"
Shikamaru gives him an ironic smile. "You're worried about him, huh? You two are really starting to get along, apparently."
Naruto stutters. "I— wha— no— we— I mean— I just want him to come so he can see how much I have improved and how much better than him I am! He said he wanted to fight with me! I'm sure if he sees me tonight I'll scare him to death and he'll have to admit that I'm better than him! Uh… Um. Yes! That! I—"
Shikamaru scoffs. "How troublesome. Tch. It's okay, calm down, I was joking. I know how much you two still like to be in each other’s throats."
Naruto sinks into his seat, crosses his arms and murmurs incoherently in a low voice. He is beginning to feel warm in the face. Stupid Shikamaru.
He doesn’t care about that bastard. He doesn’t.
Of course not.
.
Sasuke still doesn’t show up by the middle of the event. Naruto thinks he's going to have a heart attack by the end of the night. He doesn’t stop bouncing his knee against the seat in front of him. He doesn’t even pay so much attention to the fights because he's looking sideways at the door.
Stupid Sasuke.
.
.
It's almost the end of the event and it's time for Naruto's fight. It is the penultimate fight of the night.
He doesn’t know why the fact that Sasuke is not there to see him gives him a bad taste in his mouth, but still, he needs to make Sasuke aside for a moment and focus.
Naruto came to show everyone what he is capable of.
And so he does.
.
Naruto gives everything he has in that fight to show that he's worthy to be there. That he deserves in every single way to be there. He has hoped to prove it all his life after all.
So he tries to push Sasuke aside for a second, and he fights. Fights for himself.
Fights to prove to superb idiots like the Hyuuga genius that he, Uzumaki Naruto, can kick his and anybody’s ass. Especially the ass of a talented genius who is older than him. In particular someone’s ass who Naruto has to prove wrong when they say he’s a loser.
"It's your destiny to lose. Accept it.” He spits at him in the middle of the fight, with his pretentious long hair and his strange tattoo on his forehead. With cold eyes the color of ice in light. Violets. Hard, recriminating, broken.
Naruto shows him.
He shows him that he can win.
He shows him that he can "change" destiny. That he can choose.
He shows him that all his words about destiny and so on, are nothing more than trash and bullshit.
Naruto teaches him more than one lesson that night.
Naruto frees Neji that night. From whatever it is that is chaining him.
Something happens. Naruto breaks him, surprises him. In more ways than one.
Neji is not the same boy later that night. Or ever again.
Neji changes. For the best.
Neji learns something deeper that night.
His eyes are no longer so harsh. They don’t look so broken by the end of that fight. And maybe he didn’t win the fight, but he won something more.
Naruto not only wins the fight that night and demonstrate that he can. Naruto wins respect.
Another trigger in his life. Another detonator.
Neji Hyuuga. The boy of destiny that Naruto manages to win.
The genius of the rich and powerful family Naruto manages to break.
The genius that respects Naruto by the end of that night.
Neji Hyuuga, the guy who shoots something that day and makes Naruto's life a lot easier later.
Sakura runs and hugs him when he gets off the field. She smiles and congratulates him and Naruto feels good, feels better than he has in a long time.
Neji walks towards him as Sakura fills him with hugs and warm smiles and words of encouragement, with Lee crying inconsolably and clinging into his arm and Tenten smiling kindly at his side (his eyes are a bit weird, they have a strange mixture of worry and relief in them), and shakes his hand.
And everything is fine.
Everything is incredible.
Everything is great.
Except, that when they go up the stairs to the position in the fifth tier where Sakura is sitting with him, she tells him that Sasuke hasn’t arrived yet, and the horrible taste on his mouth returns again.
All his classmates congratulate him when he sits down, including Kiba, who seems genuinely impressed. Everyone looks like it.
And it's great, it's amazing, except that Sasuke is not there.
Naruto doesn’t know why it disappoints him so much.
.
Lee's fight is the one that follows. For someone who has just cried, Lee doesn’t seem vulnerable at all when he goes up to the combat area.
His eyes are determined and his posture explodes energy everywhere, it tells them how ready he is to fight.
Lee is brutal in that fight. He’s fast. Faster than anyone Naruto has ever seen. Naruto can hardly see the movements he makes because of how fast he is. He is agile, strong, lethal.
In the end, he wins the fight in less than a minute.
A record, apparently.
.
.
Sasuke shows up at the last moment, because apparently, he is a fucking show off and wants Naruto's heart to explode, the fucking bastard. He shows up right after they announce the winner of Lee's fight against a senior, in a sleek new suit and with his always-in-place hair. His gaze is tough, his posture is somewhat rigid.
Naruto doesn’t care about his new suit or whatever, Sasuke is there. Finally. Super late, but there.
"You always do what you want to do, don’t you? Arriving at the last minute when your fight is the first, damn presumptuous bastard.” Naruto tells him (when and how did he get down the stairs so fast, it's a mystery), Sakura running after him to catch up with him, but he's smiling, and Sasuke smiles too.
"Hn. That smile. I assume that you won?"
Naruto is inflated with pride. "Yup. So I'm better than you."
Sasuke scoffs, but his smile returns to its place. "That remains to be seen, dobe."
"Whatever. Good luck, bastard, and don’t lose."
Sasuke's smile twists, like he’s saying, who understands you? You’re giving me mixed signs. "I don’t intend to."
Naruto smiles. "Okay, then."
And then he turns to go back to the stands.
Sakura gives a shy wave with her hand and smiles bright when she finally gets there. "Good luck, Sasuke!"
Sasuke gives her a nod. "Thank you."
She smiles wider before following Naruto to their seats.
Naruto almost falls over as he runs back to sit down. It's a little embarrassing, because he loves to watch that tournament every year, and he always gets too excited, but he can’t remember the last time he felt so eager to see a fight before.
God. Sasuke sure is going to kick that guy's ass with the weird name of the Eastern school. He can be a prodigy, or a "beast", or whatever. Sasuke can be an idiot, and a bastard, and apparently a show off but Naruto recognizes that he is very talented.
He will kick his ass for sure.
.
The plans change and his eagerness becomes panic when Sasuke's opponent shows up and the host starts announcing the fight and the reasons for the delay.
Naruto does not listen to the host and his apologies, instead, he hears Tenten's gasp in front of them and watches Lee's shoulders tighten a bit.
Sakura also notices it.
"What's going on?" She asks.
Tenten turns in her seat, her eyes looking dark. "It's him, the one who injured Lee last year."
"The one that left him almost unable to fight again?" Sakura screeches, horrified.
A visceral terror begins to eat him inside.
The only thing he can think about is one thing: I can’t allow Sasuke to fight with someone like him. He is a monster. Sasuke can get hurt. Really, seriously hurt.
He doesn’t know that he is standing and ready to go to stop them until Lee is dragging him to his place again. Naruto appreciates Bushy Brow, but if he doesn’t move...
"What's wrong, Naruto?" Shikamaru questions, standing two places from him.
"That stupid guy without eyebrows almost killed Bushy Brow last year! I can’t let him fight with Sasuke! I have to prevent—!"
He is desperate. Sasuke— Sasuke can get hurt. He can’t— he won’t let that happen. He… He has to…
"Naruto-kun! Calm down! I'm sorry I made you worry, but everything will be fine!" Lee leans at an exact 90 degree angle and goes back up again in front of him. He gives a thumb up and a bright smile, very similar to the ones Gai sensei gives in his motivational speeches. "I'm sure! I was not ready to fight him that time, he was a worthy opponent, but I'm sure Sasuke-kun is too! I've seen him fight, he's amazing! Much better than me at that time! Sasuke-kun burns with the passion flame of youth, I'm sure he will do very well! Have faith in him! Trust him and the intensity of his spirit like the fire of a sunset!"
Half of those around them look at Lee as if he’s a weirdo. Others seem either on the verge of crying or laughing. Sakura still seems worried, but his classmates look at him to make him sit down.
The host announces the start of the fight.
With a dark feeling of guilt, he sits down.
He doesn’t want to let the fight happen, he really doesn’t.
But maybe Lee is right. Maybe he should trust Sasuke. Maybe it would be too selfish of him to go and stop the fight.
"Okay." He murmurs.
"Excellent!" Lee shouts, sitting back down again.
The fight begins.
.
Apparently, the reason why Sasuke hadn’t show up before and why it took a while to start the fight even when he arrived, Naruto would realize later, was because he suffered an injury two days before the tournament. Not very serious, but enough to damage his shoulder. His tutor didn’t want to let him participate in the event. The judges didn’t want to let him either.
But he's Sasuke Uchiha. The prodigy of one of the founding clans of Konoha. Of course he was going to fight.
.
Even with the injury, Sasuke makes an incredible presentation. Sasuke is precise, fast, impeccable. Even elegant. He is mortal. Lethal. And yes, maybe by the end of the round, his movements are a little more erratic or careless, but that doesn’t stop him from winning. Gaara shreds him a little. Gaara is almost a real monster. He's too talented, his skills are deadly. He is ruthless, cruel. Some strokes and movements make Sasuke actually grimace, even if his speed prevents Gaara from touching him many times. Gaara is almost as fast as Sasuke is, and his block is fantastic. However, after the time pass and Sasuke is still so resistant, Gaara begins to... despair. He presses, pushes him to his limits. Hard. He overstrains himself, it can be noticed. His movements are too abrupt, disorganized, desperate. He is losing control.
Sasuke's prowess is inflexible, he almost never hesitates. Naruto knows him, that's one of his many advantages; Sasuke doesn’t give up, ever. He has proven to be a worthy rival to Naruto many times precisely because he doesn’t give up. But things get complicated. Naruto knows him way too good to know that. He's not doing so well. Gaara is not having mercy.
Naruto feels something ugly burn his throat. Panic.
"Sasuke! Stop being such an idiot and stop playing and fooling around, you bastard! Show him what you can really do, dammit!" Naruto screams from the bleachers. Naruto roars, with his annoying, loud voice, using all the strength his lungs have.
Somehow, Sasuke becomes more... lethal and intense, from that moment. Is like sharping a sword that already has edge.
In the end, he wins.
Naruto is filled with relief inside of him. For some reason.
"What a lame way to win, Sasuke bastard, you're all beaten up!" Naruto laughs (if it's from relief or because he's making fun of him or both, Naruto doesn’t know for sure) from the stands. He smiles, delight. And Sasuke looks at him from his position in the field. He is breathing hard, Naruto can see the way his chest rises and downs irregularly, heavier, but he smiles at him anyways. More like smirks at him than genuine smiles, but that's fine. Sasuke is fine. Beaten up, sure, but fine.
Sasuke rolls his eyes like he knows what Naruto’s thinking. His eyes are mocking, teasing, and he says something with his lips before going down the side of the field. Naruto can read it clearly.
“Usuratonkachi."
Tch.
Bastard.
.
.
There are loud applauses and shouts and smiles and flashes of huge cameras that don’t stop taking pictures of them after they gather all the competitors to announce the first places and they have to go up on the big field to get their medals.
Men in suits move from one place to another with friendly and strict faces among seniors, in search of their next stars or to give offers. The competitors begin to surround themselves with people who congratulate them on all sides, even if they didn’t get any of the first three places.
There are laughter and tears and bright smiles and many people and Naruto feels a little dizzy.
He has just won second place. In the famous Konoha Tournament televised internationally. Wow. He really wish Ero-Sennin and the old woman were there.
Lee doesn’t give him much time to get depressed about that, though. He is crying next to him. He seems more proud of himself than is possible, although Naruto feels the same way he does. He congratulates Naruto, or at least Naruto thinks he does, because he doesn’t understand what he’s saying completely between all the tears that are coming down his face. He and Gai sensei hug him and cry on his two shoulders before hugging each other and crying even more. It is such a show to watch. Naruto watches it a little disturbed before Tenten arrives, with Neji behind her, running with a smile towards Lee. Her smile vanishes when a Lee full of tears turns to her with all her energy and stamps himself against her in a bear hug. She sighs, resigned with a face of "oh well, if I don’t have another option…" as she pats him on the back and congratulates him and says soothing words above his head. And anyone who would look at her face would say that she is irritated, but her eyes are soft, and there is a curve in her face, in her mouth, when Gai sensei appears to one side of her and cries and screams about how proud he is and about youth and sunsets and fire and sunrises. She is happy. Almost amused. Exasperated, yes, but soft. Like saying, "God, I really love this pair of dumbasses."
Neji approaches Naruto while he focuses too much on looking at them. He greets him and shakes his hand. He looks much calmer than Naruto has ever seen him. In peace. Almost... Happy. Much better than a praised genius who just lost a very important fight.
"Congratulations, it was a good fight." He says, in a calm voice, and Naruto smiles.
"Thank you!"
Neji nods. "It would be good if it ever happened again."
"Of course, Hyuuga, it would be amazing to kick your ass again!" Naruto says.
The boy actually smiles. More like the corner of his mouth pulls a little up, but it seems genuine.
"You are very different from how I thought you would be. You taught me many things today, Naruto."
"Oh yes, Naruto Uzumaki is awesome, believe it!"
Neji's eyes seem a little amused, and he seems about to say something else when Tenten calls him out.
"Neji, I need help here!" She screams, as she is crushed by two bodies with green leotards that cry.
Neji looks over his shoulder and sighs, a little tired, as if he's used to dealing with that kind of things. When he turns to say goodbye, he smiles a little, although it seems more of a challenge than a sincere smile, and there is a bit of that arrogant tenacity and determination in his eyes when he looks at him.
"I hope we have the chance to fight against each other again, Naruto."
Naruto nods, smiling brightly, and Neji smiles a little wider before turning and going to save Tenten.
Two seconds later, Lee is clinging into him and Neji has a look of horror as Lee cries over him and squeezes him in his arms, as if physical contact makes him more uncomfortable than ever. He doesn’t do anything to get rid of him and push him away, though, he only complains, with his arms limp at his sides.
Naruto laughs. He stops when something at his side catches his attention. A few meters away, on his left, there is a group of girls who shout and scream and push each other to see... something. Or more like someone.
In the center of the huge circle is Sasuke Uchiha, with his first place medal hanging around his neck and an irritated expression on his face.
Bastard.
When he starts to walk towards him, Sasuke catches his gaze a meter away and manages to get out of there in one piece.
He seems really relieved when the girls see where he is going and don’t follow him.
It's almost funny. In an ironic way. The way Sasuke gets so much attention when he doesn’t like it a bit.
"Smug bastard." Naruto says, when they're close enough without people around them. "Getting all the girls’ attention like always."
"Usuratonkachi." He says, like he's trying to be all smug about it and make him jealous, though he actually looks relieved to be finally alone with him and away from the hungry horde.
Naruto almost laughs. He smiles, almost cocky, and points at the medal hanging in Sasuke's neck.
"This doesn't mean you're better than me, huh, bastard? I was way cooler than you there. And I didn't win that lame."
"Tch. From what I saw..."
"You didn't even see my fight, you liar!"
"I saw the last part. They have a big screen outside and I was arriving when you were fi—"
"You saw it? Really?"
"That's what I'm trying to say, moron."
Naruto grins. He doesn't know why, but Sasuke actually looking at his fight makes him really happy. Maybe is because he's definitely getting stronger, and that way he can show off to him.
Sasuke looks like he's going to say something more, but Sakura's voice interrupts him before he can say anything.
"I finally find you two! Congratulations, guys! You deserve it! You two fought amazing, I'm proud of you both!” She is saying, smiling brightly as she gets closer. “Naruto, you were so cool back there, the training is making you so strong!" She smiles, but then her eyes toughened and she punches him in the arm. Hard. Naruto's smile goes off and dies in a grimace instead. He rubs his arm. "But you are still so reckless, baka! I was worried for a moment there!"
Naruto makes a pout while still rubbing his arm. Hell, Sakura is strong.
"Hey! I was perfectly fine! I had everything under control! If you're going to worry about someone, it should be Sasuke! He was the one who went against the devil without eyebrows!"
Sasuke frowns when Naruto points his finger at him. Sakura's face fills with more concern.
"That's right. They told me what you did, Sasuke-kun! That was very imprudent! More like, I don’t know, something Naruto would do."
"Yes, exactly!" Naruto shouts. Then he grimaces as he turns to look at Sakura. "Hey!"
Sakura ignores him as she reaches out and touches Sasuke's shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, but his face indicates that he is trying very hard to keep himself quiet and not scream at her to get away.
"Fight with an injury like that! Sasuke-kun! You could have get more hurt, I..."
"Wait, the bastard did what?" Naruto blinks.
Sakura turns to face Naruto. "He fought with a shoulder injury that should have disabled him! That's why he was late! His tutor was not going to let him participate in this!" She explains.
Naruto opens his eyes wide. There is something of the cold feeling he felt in the stands when they said that Sasuke was going to fight against someone who could kill him tumbling in his stomach again. "What? That's very stupid, teme! And you say I'm the stupid! You're very stupid! I told you you were stupid! I've told everyone that you are!"
"You had us worried!" Sakura says, accentuating what she says with the expression on her face.
Naruto stops. "Yes, we—! Wait, no! I was not worried!"
Sakura decides to ignore him, Naruto thinks, because after she says, to make it sound even worse, "Naruto almost stopped the fight! And he didn’t even know about the injury! If he had known..."
"Hey! No! No, no, no, that's not true, I wasn’t worried about him!” Sakura looks at him, an eyebrow raised. “Well, yes, I was, but only because. Uh. Because, um, I— is, because he's my rival! Yes. Okay? That’s all! And he promised to fight with me sometime! He said he want to fight me! And I want to kick his ass! If he killed him, I wouldn’t be able to! It was just that! That’s— That’s all!”
Sakura blinks at him while Naruto babbles and screams and waves his arms in the air. Sasuke actually seems a bit surprised, his eyes open a fraction more. Naruto starts feeling warm on his face.
"I swear!"
Sasuke blinks. Then he looks at Sakura, who still looks at Naruto with a mixture of surprise and confusion. "I didn’t try to worry..." he says, and he glances at Naruto, who looks away, "… in whatever way," he points out, as a clear hint to the babble that Naruto has just released, "I was fine, that's why I fought, I..."
There is a pause.
"Sasuke-kun?"
When Naruto turns to look at him again, he gets surprised. Sasuke's eyes are dark, looking at something behind him with an emotion Naruto can almost call hate. Naruto almost recoils back, Sasuke's gaze is too intense. Penetrating. And his whole face is shrouded in something somber, dismal. Dark. It gives Naruto a bad taste in his mouth. He had seen Sasuke irritated, annoyed, but as far as he can remember, he hasn’t seen Sasuke really, actually angry at all. Not even once. He didn’t even know that Sasuke could hate something. Less with that intensity.
Naruto frowns and puts a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. The tension in Sasuke's body disappears, though not entirely.
"Hey bastard, are you okay? What's wrong?" Naruto's voice is enough for Sasuke's eyes to soften a little, but they don’t stop to look at the point behind Naruto. Naruto looks back and follows Sasuke's eyes to find a tall boy with glasses that, by the light, cover his eyes, and a... Man? Woman? Man. A man with long hair, marked makeup and a macabre smile. His spooky eyes resemble those of a snake, fixed on his prey, fixed on Sasuke.
"Do you know them, Sasuke-kun? Who are they?" Sakura asks out loud, echoing some of the questions that begin to fill Naruto's mind.
Sasuke doesn’t answer. Instead, he says, "I have to go. See you later."
Sakura stretches her arm and takes him from his wrist. Sasuke doesn’t turn to look at her.
"But you need to go to the nursing first, Sasuke-kun!"
"You guys go first, the dobe needs to get checked his wrist." He says, and without looking at them, he lets go and keeps walking.
When he goes halfway, the snake-eyed man’s smile widens in a way that gives Naruto chills. The other boy puts his glasses on the bridge of his nose and opens his arms. He leans a little towards him and says "Sasuke-kun! We were just going to say hello!"
Naruto frowns. Something about that... feels off. It just... doesn’t seem okay. It gives him a bad taste in his mouth. A strange feeling in the stomach.
Sakura sighs at his side. "That was weird, but well, Sasuke-kun is right, Naruto, you need to take care of that hand."
Naruto frowns deeper when Sasuke gets to where the duo is.
"I know you care about him, and I do too, but Sasuke-kun will be fine. He knows how to take care of himself, and no matter how strange they may seem, you don’t have to judge them by their looks, okay? Sasuke-kun seems to know them. Besides, there’s a lot of people here, I don’t think anything bad will happen; he will be just fine. Come on. Let’s go get you checked.” Sakura's voice is soft, but her grip is a bit harder than it should be as she grabs him by the arm and pulls him, and when Naruto glances at her face, Naruto sees it. It can be noticed the way she tries to hide it, looking away, hiding part of her face with her hair. Her eyes are full with worry.
And although he feels bad and hesitant to do so, although he feels as if a weight were squeezing his stomach and something visceral and ugly was burning his throat with every step he takes, although there is a voice in his head that screams at him from the back to get Sasuke away from there, away from them, although all of that, he keeps walking.
He leaves Sasuke behind.
At that time, he doesn’t know that he will regret doing it years later.
.
Naruto is corned and asked for autographs before arriving at the nursing. There are smiles and they give him polite hugs and he receives attention from all sides.
It's fantastic. Almost unreal. Surreal. It almost seems like a dream. It's what he's always dreamed of.
It would be better if Sasuke was there, though.
.
.
Ero-Sennin takes him to dinner at Ichiraku with Baa-chan that night. He lets him order all the bowls he wants.
He tells him that he saw him on TV and that he is very proud and that they even recorded his fight on a CD. He tells him that he is more famous than he is between the ladies in the neighborhood now while he laughs and ruffles Naruto’s hair. He orders one of those double ice-cream palettes that split in half and shares it with him while he smiles and tells him how proud his parents would be of him.
Tsunade gives him a necklace with a shiny pendant and kisses his forehead when she hangs it on his neck. She smiles at him and tells him kind words and congratulates him with warm, soft eyes.
Ero-Sennin accuses him of having more luck than him with pretty girls.
Naruto laughs.
It is one of the best nights of his life.
.
His classmates congratulate him a lot (not as much as Sasuke, but yes) the next day.
Even Kiba does.
Things improve a lot from there.
Over time, Naruto learns to hide and push that bad feeling he had at the tip of his mouth when he saw Sasuke with that man in a corner of his mind and not to worry about it.
.
The three end their science project two weeks before the delivery date. They get an A+ and congratulations from Iruka sensei.
.
Things are better than they have been for a long time.
In case someone was wondering the places of the tournament:
First place: Uchiha Sasuke.
Second place: Draw, Uzumaki Naruto and Rock Lee.
Third place: Sabaku no Temari.
Thanks everyone for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments! Thank you!! This chapter was more than anything an introduction to how the dynamics of everyone starts here. I hope you liked it!! Thanks again!! And I'm sorry for so many notes, lol.
#fanfiction#my writing#multi-chapter#soulmates au#modern au#sns#sasunaru#narusasu#inosaku#shikatema#kiba/hinata/shino#gaalee#all the ships are eventually#enemies to friends to lovers#dorks in love#falling in love#they need a hug#fuck up backstories#i messed up with naruto and sasuke's past and i'm not even sorry#i hope i can post it on ao3 with the time#sns fic#sasunaru fanfiction#narusasu fanfiction#i planned all of this already#first chapter#let me know if you like it!#thanks for reading it!#long post#canon parallels
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Ardennes Trip Journal - 28.07.19 - 10.08.19
Day 1
23:15
The adventure continues. So much to say and only 14 minutes to do it in. The accommodation is pretty crappy. An old youth hostel converted into something..maybe not even converted. I arrived with 2 woman who couldn’t find their way here with a GPS. Right now I feel like I’ve let myself down a bit. I promised myself I would be authentic, I feel like Im hiding, crawling back into my shell. I promise myself that I will do what it takes to be authentic here, even if I don’t totally know what it means. I think it has to do with flow, carefree ness. There are a few girls here that I’m attracted to, one of them is the lady in charge of the volunteers. She doesn’t have a pretty face but she wears tight clothing and she has a nice body. I like tight clothing on a nice body. I feel like I underestimated the amount of work I’ll have to do here. It seems like mostly work with a bit of free time over. I would like to see more of the surroundings but I’m not sure what, I’m not even sure how curious I am to be honest. The meals are vegetarian and don’t seem to be enough, I have a feeling I won’t be able to fall asleep quickly because I’m kinda hungry. My mind has been hijacked by Mara. I keep thinking about having a little fling with Hanna. I gave her a hug earlier when we were alone in the bathroom. Damn, how did I manage that? The truth is I’m just using her. Lust is toxic, it’s toxic. But the pull toward her is strong. If I go down this road it will lead to another and then another and then another. It doesn’t stop until I put an end to it. Until I make the decision to not engage. The people that work here are rather nice. Bert and Wim and Carlos. There are very cute and friendly young little cats here. This evening I saw the mommy cat run into the garden, frantically lookin*for one of her young ones, and then she gave her a little mice she caught to play with. It was so adorable. I would like to use my time here to also be able to relax and read and go for walks and bloom socially.
14:00
I’m on a train. It takes almost 4 hours to get there and the time is flying. I’ve read some google reviews of the place and a lot of people say the inside looks kind of shitty and that the food is too vegan. Mixed responses. But then they also say it’s isurroinded by beautiful nature in the middle of nowhere, I’m curious about that! I think it’s going to be pretty cool. I’m tried right now, I need some sleep. I hope I get along with my colleagues, I hope that I can flip the switch and be open, spontaneous and helpful. Wild, adventurous, authentic. Funny af. I guess all I’m looking for is a nice place to wake up in, with fresh air, some structure, a place to read and relax, a place to push myself a little in terms of social interactions! I’m glad I thought of journaling, I’ll write in this thing every day. They say that phones and WiFi doesn’t park very well there, not sire of this is a good or bad thing but I’m leaning more to it being a good thing. I’m a little worried that I’ll be my usual, rather serious, seldom-able-to-genuinely-smile self, that I’ll close up and all my (perfectly acceptable and even good) ideas will remain ideas in my head, that I might not have the courage to act on ‘em? Maybe? Perhaps? We’ll see. I got a lot of books with me, I’m happy about that. They have a piano there, playing piano is a very meditative practice (even kinda spiritual). I’m also a tad concerned that everyone will be ‘nice’ in an annoying way, like super-friendly, heart-on-their-sleeves millennials there to confront me with how old and uptight I am :-) I’m actually just a big kid inside, but showing that side takes a lot of guts, requires a lot of freedom (giving myself permission to be free), requires a certain amount of trust ofcourse. But I want just that. Carefreeism. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Ain’t no one, NO one going to give you permission to put on that hat, that’s a decision you make on your own..Writing this I feel a bit like the main character from a Michael hollebeqs ‘Whatever’. A guy who’s very aware of everything, has a fair amount of emotional intelligence, but is a little dead inside. Desperately in need of using his imagination, spontaneity. Fuck it i don’t want that!
I reckon the people there will be hippy types with loose, comfortable clothing. Some dreadlock types that I will kind of look down on but they’ll be too busy living there lives (like I should be doing) to care. Fuck, when did this become a novel? I’m writing this as though someone is going to read it, someone like Lisa and I’m trying my best to be all insightful and clevah. Fuck that, this is my journal and I’ll be as daft and incoherent as I want. Meanwhile small Wallonian towns zip past me under overcast weather from this train. This little spot here is my comfort zone but also a creative abs therapeutic space. Fuck this train announce speak is loud and just above me. I’m hungry. I’m concerned abou this strict vegan policy they have there, that I’ll be hungry all the time, and won’t be able to sleep. I’m enthusiastic about apply Radical Acceptance techniques to this experience. To take the time to recognise how I feel, to ‘paise’ and offer myself some compassion perhaps. It’s okay, whatever happens: it’s okay. Showing up as you is ok. Feeling afraid and unsafe is okay. Being jouuous and free is okay. Doing you is ok. Not doing you is ok. Not having a good time is ok. You’re ok. I DON’T want to use this journal as a place to hide. A place to observe the world on the other side of some glass.
Day 2
9:50
I slept ok, not great. The beds were ok. I have 10 minutes to write this and it all feels a bit rushed. I got laundry to do coz my shit is filthy. The weather is really nice and there is a really pretty courtyard with flowers and birds and little cats. Breakfast was pretty good, lots of oatmeal and things to choose from. I’m really bummed abiut the fact that our shifts here are split up in 2, through out the day, making it hard to leave the premise. I’m sitting here in the kitchen and there’s a world out there that I’d like to discover. The water for the shower is warm as opposed to hot. I’m tired but I’m so used to it that I hardly notice it anymore. I don’t feel much like talking, and others seem to want to talk. I don’t mind that much I guess, but I also want to not feel obligated to chat. But when I’m on my own i also feel a bit restless. I’m bothered by the stains on my shorts which look a bit gross. Worried that ill be limited to only the kitchen and the immediate surroundings while I’m here. The ‘sugar’ I put in my coffee is unrefined and tastes kind of gross. I have a feeling I’m going to get annoyed by the work here. I came here to work but also enjoy the surroundings. Damn.
22:30
I’m super tired right now, o feel o should have gotten more rest. They make us work a lot over here, it’s testing my laziness. I went for a walk and it was quite nice. I’m giving this experience a 6 out of 10 so far. I feel like a kid at times. I saw a horse that was blind in one eye, I stroked his face and his hit vs,r off on my finger. He seemed very ol and quite sad. I would have done more for him if I knew what he wanted. I have this feeling that I’m missing something. This afternoon I sat in front of the piano and I could lose myself in the notes. It was meditativive and restorative. It felt like something spiritual, I enjoyed it. I, tore, did I mention I was tired. I also feel a bit floppy and like...not a whole person. I’m worried that I’ll be stuck in arrested development forever, I feel so immature at times. I know that reliving the pain would fix it all but you can’t force these kind of things. Anyway, the weather is good, the people are nice and I’m happy to call it a night. I feel like I can do a lot more though.
Day 3
22:50
I woke up today in a really bad mood. Not enough sleep, bad sleep. We eat vegan food here all day long, maybe that’s effecting it. I have quite a lot of wind, but that’s ok. I worked today, it’s 5 or 6 hours but it feels like all day. I’m happy to be here. I socialise all day too, and it’s fine. Sometimes not fine, sometimes I’m gripped with self-consciousness every time I open my damn mouth. Sometimes it feels like every single interaction is awkward, I know what is required is to let go but I probably put too much pressure into it. Letting go is actaully effortless really, want an idea. Anyway, I ended things with Katya today and i think this is for the best. I’m smoking too much and I think it’s for the best. I think about Carlos quite a bit, he’s quite a special dude. And Wim is leaving tomorrow and I’m sorry about that, I’m gonna miss him a little. His brother Bert is a nice guy, such an open and friendly person, with a big heart. I find it hard to make eye contact with himi, in a way. The ladies love him. Speaking of ladies I went with a walk with Hanne and I made tons of moves to the point she felt uncomfortable. When I returned I felt guilty and empty. I’d like to relax more here. I’m looking into doing something similar to this in a place with an ocean. This whole experience has been good. The work grounds me, puts things into perspective, but I have to admit I was expecting something a little better than this. I now know that my idea of farming or working in this way was merely a romantic one. Actually I want to be around creative people. People like me who want to make things, get lost in things, I’m just not yet sure what that ‘thing’ is.
Day 4
22:40
Sitting here in the back of my corvette. Sitting here in the mountains of Spain, not claiming to know anything anymore. And so the journey begins..
Day 4. I keep asking Hanne for hugs. I worked in the garden today, I wasnt feeling it very much at all. But I should be greatful, my teenage years were really tough, said the talk show host. I’m greatly out of touch with my center today, I could meditate on this though, embrace it, use it, it feels good to be alone. 12 minutes every single day. I’m waiting for the American cook. Hanna is leaving tomorrow for holiday in Schotland, I feel sad abiut that. And Wim left today. It was really nice getting to know him. He told me a lot about his travelling through South America. He’s got this crazy look in his eyes, he looks a bit like he took some bad acid, he also looks like someone who might be an alcoholic. I feel like I’m not capable of getting close to anyone at times, and they can sense it. I want to though, maybe they don’t notice it. Hanne is a work horse, but obviously has her own issues. She is cute though. Jeff is also cool of course. I feel like I scare people. I got a nice compliment from Carlos who said I should do stand up comedy. Where the heck is Lorenzo at? He said that to me 2 once. I get my energy by losing myself in creativity, making jokes. I get my creativity from a lot of things. Right now I’m in bed, nothing to be said. Right now I live like there’s a tomorrow, a red car racing. Like MJ and codependency. I called Lisa, she sounded enthusiastic and happy to hear from me. Latisha is doing well and is her cute self, miss her. I saw someone take one of the little cats away today and I cried just a little. I’m sure she will be loved in her new home.
Day 5
21:50
Day 5 in Orval. I like it here, it’s peaceful. The grass is green, the birds sing and there’s cats around. I worked in the kitchen today and then then the garden. Enough to fill the day and I’m tired and ready for bed. Hanna left for Schotland today, I fooled around with her in her bedroom, but she held me at bay and I wasn’t interested in treating her like a sex object. She’s sweet and deserves a lot better. Carols was up to his usual tricks, conspiracy theories and what not. We found out today that I weigh twice as much as him. I’m actually gaining weight here, crazy. I’m saving money while being here, and doing the right thing. One of my goals being here is to show up authentically every single day. I’m kind of doing that, but sometimes I’m not sure what that means. I think it involves using my body. My work ethic has become a bit of a joke, I’m the guy that breaks away from the kitchen to play piano, it has crossed my mind that I like it when people are talking about me, even f it’s negative, even if it’s laughing. I think i night want constant reassurance, but deep down I want something more real than that, you know? Meditate on that. I’m not meditating, but enough about me. Wim is returning tomorrow, that’s cool. Not sure if I have a half day off tomorrow or not. The good is great. I haven’t eaten a single animal product in 5 days. I feel fine, I don’t feel amazing though, like the early days of changing my diet. Worked with Jeff in the garden, the sun was shining real pretty like, I posed as a Mexican drug cartel worker, it was silly. I thought I lost my kindle, but I didn’t. I want to make plans to go on more walks, do some excercise, get up early. I would like to make kale smoothies too. I had an amazing insigh today, often when people talk to me, I feel a lot of tightening up around the heart. Construction of the heart. It’s clear in a way. That’s when I decide to relax and look the person right in the eye, and I feel the wall, the constricting melt a little. Other times I feel the opposite way, other times I feel my heart opening up, and I feel love and I honestly feel like giving the people around me a big big. There are people here that have stayed for 5 months. You can save money by being here. Don’t got back to Hurtsville. Your time here is good.
Day 6
23:10
Day 6 in bold. They make us work too much over here. I did some weeding today, fuck, never doing that again. I lasted an entire hour. I think I’d lose my mind if I were a farmer, I need people too much. Need em to reassure me, tell me I’m alive. It’s been a long day, we work about 32 hours/week here. That’s almost a full time job, what a crappy candle. The highlight of my day might have been my meditation. Sitting under a tree with a horsefly that I killed, it very Buddha like. The meditation helped me become more grounded. Later I went on Facebook. What the help are we doing with our lives? My her is Conan, what a silly name. How does this guy come up with so many jokes, he’s so damn funny. ‘My riff-gun was jammed’ Patton Oswald. I need a plan or a goal while I’m here. I’m stuck on this island and I’m not alone. More walks please, more excercise. Wim returned and that’s cool.
Day 7
22:40
Carlos the little monkey with the conspiracy theories. I’m getting back into using my phone again, and a little bit of porn too. It was very tiring day today. Wim and I went for a walk, we went to the abdij where Orval beer is made but we didn’t go in. We got personal, talked about heavy, personal stuff. I can’t say that it did much for me. I still feel like a sense of self, or bottom or ground is missing, and that’s ok, that’s just the kind of guy I am. We worked a lot and I felt so lazy, so tired. We are working something like 35 hours a week. I haven’t worked this much in a long time, it’s more work than I expected obviously. The weather was good, new groups have arrived and I find myself eyeing the ladies. I make a lot of jokes and everyone laughs at them it’s almost too easy. Acceptance. Nature. Hide away, dancing. 5 rhythm dancing. Dance to Maastricht. I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t know. Bert used to live in Costa Rica. He’s so at ease with himself it’s crazy. He says it’s all about being in the body, and dancing and yoga and some meditation. Wim must feel overshadowed a little, I still really enjoy playing the piano, I still feel the need to be an entertainer or performer of some kind. Do your best forget the rest, thanks for coming.
Day 8
00:15
Im beat, what a day. I feel tired and immature. The asshole social worker. We cleaned today, the entire kitchen. It was a time of laziness, and work and seriousness. I, getting fatter over here. The American cook showed up. And a very young couple. And the bosss and his hens. The American cook is called Mark or Marc and he comes acrosss like a healthy and capable man with an eye for the ladies. His wife or girlfriend also seems nice. I met a very nice girl today called Sophie, me and Wim had a drink with her. It’s good to be here, good to be in the real world. On Tuesday I get my day off, I guess the only thing I’m planning to do is rest. Wim and I are getting closer, lots of laughs and stuff. I feel small and inadequate right now and it’s uncomfortable, but I’ll breathe into it, accept it, have it down the whole. I think you can do a lot with it but maybe never fully get used to it. Or something? I coughed a lot, I have a slight hangover now. I’m still impressed with this Sophie girl I just met. She seems so nice. I feel fat. Stick to your principals.
Day 9
00:05
Camp fire singing. I should count my blessings. I feel a bit like a coward but I guess I should be proud that I sang. I lost my center, but that’s ok, everything is ok. Lots of laughs with Wim, I’m going to miss that dude. Staring at Melissa’s legs a lot. Cooking in the kitchen, with Mark and his pleasant wife. Mark is not a Buddhist, but he respects them. I felt intense shame while trying my best to play guitar. I want to frame it differently though, I want to quantify it coz I want to pass through it. Pass through the eye of the storm, it’s so nice on the other side, I’m sure of it. Sophie is so nice, I haven’t met a girl that nice in a while. Feels like I keep holding back, but beating myself up over it doesn’t make it better, doesn’t change anything. I woke up late and missed most of breakfast. I was in a lousy mood. Wim offered to do my dishes. There are so many people here, it’s non-stop interaction, at times it gets a bit much. I took a nap today and passed out almost immediately. I feel embarrassed by my weight. A new volunteer arrived in heels. Katy the 19 year old girl stood very close to me when i did something on my phone. Marks music is a bit boring in the kitchen. Wim and I shared many laughs, he’s a good guy. He cracks me up, I’m lucky to have him here. It’s good to be random, it’s good to not make sense, it’s a way to shake it all off. Inside of me is a child that wants to be let out. It wants light and air and to be seen, but he doesn’t feel safe. He’s embarrassed and ashamed and doesn’t feel good enough, but it’s the closest to something real I’ll ever feel. Jeff is a really nice, sincere, honest dude. I like him. But I gotto be real, if I don’t care I don’t care. Life I can be tough, so confusing at times. But I’m here, I’m doing this, I’m a alive, I laugh a lot, I accept.
Day 10
23:15
The skies were gray today. Wim left for the second time and he took Thomas with him. I was having a bad day until I took a nap and did some journaling. I walked down the road by myself and sat some of the crappy but charming neighbourhood housing. I’m eating less and less and I feel great right now. All this vegan food, no meat for almost 2 weeks. I feel looser today, happy to be around Wim and Jeff, happy to talk bullshit, more in a flow. Out there the air is thick with rain air, and tents are scattered across the grass bellow me. Mark is a nice guy but I notice we all get a bit more serious when he’s around us. It’s interesting to note that. I’ve been travelling with my dick in my pocket, I made a move on one of the girls here and I plan on subtly making moves on Katy, or whatever her name is, which is kind of gross of me. I should be ashamed of myself.. but enough about me, I was just following my dick. It feels good to be here though, I’m going to miss it. I’m glad I met Wim and plan to see him when I get back to Antwerp to talk more bullshit, etc etc. ALl these interactions can get a bit much. Melissa is so serious. The energy is good here.
Day 11
00:50
Nothings wrong I don’t get it. Hootchie girl, tease, this is. It going as planned. I strummed my guitar like a beast, leaflets on the floor. Better tomorrow. This is silly. This is silly, I care and I don’t care because I do t know what the heck I’m doing. I just want to stand for something in life. That’s all she said, the importance of being strong and saying something. I’m welcome back anytime. The bird is here, on the roof, performing for god knows who. Unable to break through, because no one ever gave him permission to. That’s sad but dead, gotto get the scream out of my system. I’m glad for you but not excited, we want the same things only different. Artists inside, but vague in what we want. You’re tall, I’m tall, let’s make babies, let’s quit smoking. I lied to you actually. I’m not hurt, not going in some direction. Taking the piles a day at a time. William Prine, bathroom break. Big butt girl called Anoek, soft eyes, another girl under my belt, I feel gross about it , leaning into the fear is like leaning into the sun. we sat around a fire today, we played songs. Sophie leaned against me until our backs became uncomfortable. The smoke in my hair, the smoke in all of ours. I tried to be brave, I was brave, I sang the best I could. Now is not the time, my defence mechanism is cunning and baffling, I relate to it. I would rather have nothing that be a shaky leaf trying to ‘score’, I feel embarrassed and ashamed and I seek re-assurance. It’s ok toadman, see you at the breakfast table.
DAY 13
4:00
I don’t understand what happened. Caily contacted me and told me she was raped by Mark. The American cook I liked. I don’t understand. I don’t feel much, just inklings of some confusion. I’m unable to let this idea sink in property. Raped?? Mark the guy I spent 5 days with raped a 19 year old girl?? Threatened her with a knife?? I don’t understand, this doesn’t compute with me. Caily is a wonderful person, sweet, real, authentic. She contacted me, we chatted for hours. I hope she’s ok, even though I don’t know what to feel. I tired to just keep her company, be there for her. I’m trying to think what I would do if I saw him. He might have ruined a 19 year old girls life.. she’s numb right now and traumatised. This is the world we live in. People who are innocent and real get preyed on by predators it seems. They have their innocence taken away. Caily is one of the most innocent and authentic girls I’ve ever met. So incredibly naive in a way. This man preyed on that if this really happened. I hope she’s ok. I hope she’s able to live fully again. I hope she’s able to process all this, to trust again.
Day 14 conclusions and shit
T’was a perfectly imperfect trip. The conclusion rests in the balance of: I had a really enjoyable time, I’m glad that I went there. As I sit in black shorts and shoes with holes in them on a bench in Antwerp, Orval seems pretty far away already. But it’s cool.
I’m not yet sure what to make about the ending though. A girl might have been raped. I think she was raped because she’s at the police right now.
On the last day we did a big clean of the kitchen, the 2nd one during my stay. Sofie was with is helping in the kitchen, chopping onions and doing a splendid job. I was tired from the night before, the third night of building a camp fire and playing sharades and some songs. We gathered the fire wood ourselves, firewood that spat and crackled and carried a few ticks. Caily was with us. We had so much fun. And Jef. Oh how I remeber that night, it was like it was yesterday, or the day before yesterday, which it was. A little sprinkler water to cool us off, we dragged Melissa through the snow, coughing and spitting and giggling like a happy school child. We did good and we did her good
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Thank you so very much anon! Praise like this always makes my day
Mod Harumaki
-Listen, I like hugs more than the average person
-Even with no idea who you are and a sudden hug as my only interaction with you, I would probably hug back out of reflex unless you look like a serial killer or a kidnapper tbh
-Once you introduce yourself as Anon, I will refer to you only as Anon, and I likewise would not respond to my own name
-You are Anon
-I am Mod Harumaki
-I have no name other than Harumaki
-After that, expect lots of V3 fangirling to compensate for the fact that none of my irl friends are into Danganronpa
-Once I finish incoherently screaming about why Maki is best girl and why Shuichi is best boy and why Ouma is my son and why I would let Tenko beat me up any day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), I would actually be able to focus on the blog
-”Which one of my imagines is your favorite? Which character do I write the best for? Have you sent in any requests? How can I improve as a writer? Do you think there’s any characters I’m writing as OOC? Are my imagines the right length? Do you think I may have accidentally spoiled something?”
-I hope you have answers Anon because there’s no escape from me when I’m excited
Wow, thanks a ton for the praise anon! It’s a pleasure that people like the new theme I tossed together. Here’s my imagine for if you glomped me, the glorious genius writer…
Mod Iruma
I like hugs, don’t get me wrong! But I would probably flinch reallllyyy hard if some (incredibly amazing) stranger suddenly embraces me in public.
I would probably poke and prod you with questions about the display until you tell me that you’re a fan of mine, in which I would be really excited and happy.
Like. REALLY excited and happy.
Less that you’re a fan of mine, but more that you like Danganronpa and is so passionate about it!
I would first ask if you’re spoiled and if you were, then I would force you to get into a huge discussion with me about [INSERTCHARACTERHERE]’s portrayal and if it was good and what did you think of [INSERTCHAPTERHERE], did you like the executions—
Also, if you weren’t converted over to Makisim, I would make sure to do so. Even if you were unspoiled, in which I would use her stunning personality to win you over.
I would do all of this while you’re still embracing me with a hug. I-I hope you don’t find it too impersonal? I’m not too touchy-feely.
But I love receiving hugs! Even if I don’t show it!
I would try to hug you back, which is… really… awkward.
…But it’s the thought that counts, r-right?!
Oh gee, ‘adorable newbie’ Anonymous, you’re so kind!! Mod Tenko hasn’t even done much on the blog yet, but it’s still good to know that you like the work she has provided so far!!
Okay here we go:
Mod Tenko.
>> Don’t worry Anonymous! Mod Tenko also likes hugs!!
>> But if you were to suddenly hug her out of no where in public she would most likely scream from the surprise.
>> But the moment I realize you’re just hugging me, and you tell me why and how you know me I will gladly hug you back in a big embrace!!!
>> I’mma hugger!!!! so hugs are always welcomed within reason :3
>> And if you are to somehow tell me that you are actually a fan of my writing, then, you’re gonna have to deal with a flustered Mod Tenko until one of us leaves the conversation–
>> I don’t get complimented often, and getting complimented over something like my writing is REALLY flattering to me!!! thank you
>> I don’t necessarily crave praise or anything, just know that I’m very grateful for your kind words! big or small!! they mean A LOT!!!
>> And i probably don’t even deserve them tbh but still thanks.
>> Also! don’t. compliment. the mod. or you will have to deal with an awkwardly flustered mod tenko who cannot take the kindness of your souulll--
>> sndfioaghdfudagkbadhavksdvsduasyddfnkdshfud–
>> I’ll want to progress the convo and will probably trip over my words A LOT since I’m very awkward…but i mean well! and i’m just excited to meet you Anonymous!!!!
>> I will ask you tones of questions about the blog and what you think of it!!!
>> I barely get to meet internet friends–
>> And yes!! Friendship is a must beyond this point!!!!!!!!!
>> I’d prob’ly steer the conversing in the way of v3 somehow since i am in love with it!! but i would be very weary of the topic until i know how spoiled you are
>> Mod Tenko is also a clinger, so if the chemistry between us is good, i will want to keep the convo going for as long as i can!! [cuz my irl friends aren’t even all that passionate about dr ;-; like at all]
>> Friendship.
>> \*o*//
Oh um, I really liked doing this! It made me so happy like seriously I couldn’t stop smiling haha ! So here it is and also Thank you Anon
Mod Kiibo
~ I really do like hugs a bunch but don’t have too many because of my anxiety
~ But after the sudden hug you gave me I would definitely hug back with no hesitation
~ After it I would be a mess, just internal screaming a lot
~I’ll introduce myself as Mod Kiibo and you would do your introduction too
~ Then after introductions, I’ll question you as to why you hugged me so suddenly not that I didn’t appreciate it though
~ Once you tell me you are a fan of mine, I’m more of a mess than before
~ Just
~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
~ I wouldn’t scream that out loud of course just internally in my mind
~ I would try to bring up Danganronpa to see what type of conversation I could bring up
~ After that little awkward prompting, I would be immediately rambling about everything relating to Danganronpa with full passion along with you and check how spoiled you are so I don’t say anything wrong or spoil you about anything
~ I would make sure I don’t interrupt you and listen to everything you want to talk about
~ I don’t get to talk a lot that often and when someone just wants to genuinely talk to me I get all nervous so I’ll probably thank you for all your kind words and your discussions with me
~ I don’t feel like I deserve much praise at all so nice words like that make me extremely happy
p~ Like I said I do like hugs so if you wanted anymore I’ll give it to you, I wouldn’t do anything that would make you uncomfortable
~ Overall I would appreciate every moment you would spend with me from the bottom of my heart
Mod Ouma
-gets hugged-
……
-awkwardly pats you on the head/back before hugging back?-
-I wouldn’t really know what to do in situations like this….
-BUT that doesn’t mean that I don’t like hugs :D
-So if you told me you were a fan of me, I would kinda hug you back tightly, with your consent off course.
-I would also grin and thank you for taking the time to read my writings…
-….And also for feeding my ego.
(YES……FEED THE EGOOOOOO)
-I would also kinda invite you for food and maybe chat about some other stuff since I like some other fandoms(majority is hetalia and vocaloid and visual novels-),
-I also kinda enjoy talking about other countries and what its like to live there cause I’m WAY too curious about these things.
-In short, my mood would improve tremendously after this encounter for a few days and I would TRY work harder you guys:3
Thank you so much for these kind words! I hope me and other mods provide a lot of prompts in the future! -- Mod Tsumugi
Just like other mods I like receiving hugs! But I also don’t usually feel comfortable with any physical touches.
So... That would be very awkward for the first time. For the next minutes I’ll try to relax.
Would probably give you a squeeze and maybe even a pat on the back.
I don’t have so many fans to be honest, so I’ll start gushing about it non stop. Then switch for favorite fandom and characters.
If I find out that your taste is similar to mine, you’ll get a free hug from me.
Yet ANOTHER hug if you’re into Tokusatsu.
If not, I’ll try to drag you here! Without being a huge pain in ass.
Maybe even I’ll draw stuff for you, but who knows.
I really do hope that we will bond and become great friends!
I never expected this kind of ask, but alrighty then!
Mod Saihara:
-okay I’m not very used to hugs bc I don’t like physical contact that much
-Hugs in general aren’t really my thing haha
-I’d probably wait a minute before hugging back
-”Who is this human and why are they hugging me this is weeeeeird”
-Once you told me you were a fan I’d probably smile a bit
-”I’m not that active on the blog so you probably would rather hang out with the other mods haha”
-I’ve been told I have problems accepting compliments I’m sorry
-And then I’d ask if you’re into Voltron and Hetalia and stuff bc I need to fangirl with other people over other fandoms lol
Mod Himiko :
. Omg , mod himiko loves hugs ! Maybe even more than an average person ...
. Soo , your hug is gladly accepted ! It’s a bit embarrassing for me bc it’s the first time an anon hugs me but who cares ?! Hugs first !
. I’d probably blushing a lot if you hug me first but I would definitely hug you back !
. I would be a bit concerned about if it was okay for a new mod like me to be hugged since i feel like I don’t deserve such a sweet gest ..
. Once I thanked you , I’d probably be a bit nervous about what should we do but I’ll be super happy and more motivated to show to everyone (and you) my skills !
. Maybe I’ll give you a little smile and then hide behind Mod Harumaki ... Shy Himiko
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Tagged!
Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.
I was tagged by the ever wonderful @whelvenwings to answer some questions! :D Hello, Geraldine!
It ended up being long bc i can never just say one word answers lol so its all under the cut
1. Which fictional character would you most like to be friends with?
I’d love to be friends with Charlie (from Supernatural). She had the best outlook and just seemed like a fun person to be friends with! (I’d love to say Castiel but I’m a 19 year old girl and he's a millennia old angel so I’m not sure how much of a common ground we would have to actually be friends lol)
2. Which fictional universe would you most like to be a background character in?
I’d love to be a background character in Carry On (Magic, hello!!) but tbh I feel like I’d probably be a background character in Fangirl lol. In one chapter a girl gushes to Cather about her fanfiction and I’m just like.... yeah thats me lol (those are both fantastic books by the way, I highly recommend both of them)
3. If you were a flavour of ice cream, which one would you be?
Interesting question lol um I guess mint chocolate chip? Thats my favorite one, at least. I’m not sure what kind of characterization that gives me though :)
4. What’s a sentence you’ve never written before?
The daffodils stared at me with their orange centers, silently and severely judging my fashion choices.
I don't know lol I couldn't think of anything and there were daffodils on the table 😂
5. If you could show me one of your memories, which one would it be?
I have an awful memory lol I have a hard time remembering things after a few days. Umm I guess one that sticks out was when I got a Nook ereader for Christmas like right as they were super popular. I was so happy, I was squealing and hugging everyone in the room. It’s a nice memory :)
6. If you had an aura, what colour would it be?
I’d like to think it would be purple :D A nice violet color, like I dye my hair lol
7. Space or sea?
Honestly they both scare me?? The unexplored depth and all, like WHAT IS OUT THERE??? Aesthetically, though, I’d have to go with space lol. All the stars and galaxies are gorgeous
8. What are you most proud of right now?
Tie between two things? Okay this is going to be childish but I bought a pair of Heelys the other day and I’m super proud of them, they're really pretty and fun.
Also I just posted a 14k fic called Chai Tea & Tomato Rice Soup that I’m very proud of. I’ve not written that much before, and I am proud of myself for sticking with it and writing something I can be proud of writing. (sorry if thats grammatically incoherent lol)
9. In the middle of the road, you find what you’ve always been hoping for. What is it?
It is... purple hair dye that doesn't damage my hair and doesn't wash out unless I want it to
No, but really lol, it would probably be a book like the one in Ella Enchanted. The pages show you what you need to see or whatever you want. Endless stories, letters from loved ones, etc. The idea of that always appealed to me
10. What’s your favourite word to say out loud?
Single word would probably be something like “Rutabaga” :D My grandmother always uses it as like a ‘code word’ if she wants to change the subject or thinks someone has said something rude and needs to stop? its just silly and reminds me of her (also its just fun to say lol) Also I really enjoy the phrase “with reckless abandon” lol. It just puts the funniest images and feelings into my mind.
My questions for you lovelies!
1. What is your favorite sound?
2. If you were a food, what food would you be?
3. Curtains or blinds?
4. What are you currently looking forward to?
5. Do you like the shade of blue that tumblr is? What would you replace it with?
6. Do you sleep with socks or without them?
7. What is the song you wish was stuck in your head?
8. Your favorite store is back in the mall (if it ever left)! What is it?
9. What color are your headphones? and are they overear or earbuds?
10. Who do you usually play in MarioKart?
(sorry lol I had a tough time thinking of questions. No pressure to answer anything you think is weird or just don't want to answer)
I tag @magicrainbowdinosaurs, @space-juice-smoothie, @queenofminininjas, @jay--may, @hereforhistory, @ghostlygroping, @jeonghandled, @nerd-witch-aesthetic and @rueandroses plus anyone else who wants to do it!
#okay we're good now#geraldine#ask games#tag game#thanks for tagging me!#:D#i love these things#they're fun to answer#you can answer these too if you want to
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ace-of-twos: last night you reblogged a thing and one of the options was “tell me a story that happened to you”. i’m sorry this took so long to type. but here it is. i hope you enjoy reading it. sorry it’s a mess.
… [Rachello344: I’m adding a readmore because damn is this a helluva story, but it is also quite long XD]
first thing you gotta know is that like any set of best friends, lex and i make terrible decisions. this includes deciding to go to the fair last minute which, yes, may sound like a great idea, but just wait for it. the second thing you gotta know is there are going to be a fuckton of asides in this story bc the entire day was a magical and incoherent wreck.
there’s a fair that comes into town twice a year. i don’t usually go bc it’s hot and loud and god there are so many people. but lex convinces me and we go.
our first mistake: we arrived as it opened, at 1pm.
our second mistake: from arrival to departure, we did not leave the fairgrounds.
our third mistake: we stayed until approximately 8:30pm.
keep in mind that those numbers, first and second and third, only really apply to that particular list. many mistakes were made that day. most, but not all, were made by us. it was terrible but also mostly hilarious.
so, to get into the fair and actually get to the rides, you have to walk through a long kinda psuedo hallway filled with carnival games. giant prizes are hanging from the ceiling. one of these prizes is a dragon. it’s fucking adorable as shit. keep this in mind. it’s important.
at about 2pm, both of us high on adrenaline, we decide to ride the tilt-a-whirl. i have never properly been on a tilt-a-whirl so a number of things happen in rapid succession. lex scares the shit out of me by making the carriage spin super fucking fast. (i thought you were just supposed to sit there and let the momentum spin you around. oh, how wrong i was.) i discover that i fucking love the tilt-a-whirl. i demand we ride it again. we get in line. when we get back to the ticket gate, the person managing the ride tells us that we’ll have to take another person in the carriage with us. this is fine until it’s revealed that this other person is a 10yro girl.
lemme describe this girl for you: big, trusting eyes; dark skin; the sweetest smile; chocolate colored hair in a neat bob; matching shorts and top. basically she’s the most adorable small child i’ve ever seen.
lex and i are 100% planning to spin the ride out of control.
i am slightly worried for this child. maybe we shouldn’t do this. i really don’t want her to throw up, specifically on either lex or i bc we are idiots who live far away from the fair and yet brought no spare clothing despite the fact that fairs are messy places. to be fair, i also just really don’t want her to have a terrible time. but mostly the throwing up would be a downer.
we spin the ride.
for two seconds, i watch the small child with concern. and then she screams, the delighted kind, and i help lex turn the carriage into a poorly maintained and probably dangerous metal tornado.
(s'all good, no one’s died at the fair in… years, probably. idk.)
i’m pretty sure we made that kid’s day. we also probably made her parents want to kill us bc we definitely turned her into an adrenaline junkie.
moving on. there’s a swing ride called the yo-yo. (yes, it’s exactly as terrifying as it sounds. the only ride that scares me more is the zipper.) lex initially doesn’t want to go on it bc tbh it’s a wee bit rundown. it’s an old fair, everything is a little broken, but this ride is like scarily old. but then she remembers some of the nostalgia or smth and we get in line.
all the swings are individual seats, one in front of the other, around a thing that spins. a major fucking asshole sits in front of lex.
i’m already scared out of my mind, no matter how fucking safe they claim to be those things do NOT feel secure, and then this guy? he starts swinging back and forth, trying to hit his girlfriend that’s sitting in front of him. he hits lex multiple times in the process. i was so close to strangling him but i really didn’t want to be arrested for murder and ruin an otherwise good day so i moved on.
(also he and his gf spent the entire time before the ride got started making out????? like wow. can there be a limit on pda? like please? chill out.)
you remember that dragon from earlier? let’s get back to it.
okay, actually, one more aside. it’s time for lunch. lex and i have realized too late that fair food is fucking expensive. we spent all our money getting day passes so we could ride every single ride available to us. lex is a bottomless pit and i don’t eat much, but even i’m hungry.
we do the obvious thing and beg my dad to drive out to the fair and give us money for food.
(yes, we had passes. this means we could’ve left and come back. no, we did not do that. in our defense, going home would’ve taken like an hour and then add in food prep time and actually eating it and then coming back? yeah, no. fair only comes once a year. it’s ride or die.)
my dad gives us way too much money. yep, his mistake. like. giving a large amount of cash to teens wandering around a fair? not smart.
despite the fact that we were both starving, it’s also fucking boiling out. we aren’t as hungry as we think we are. so we split a poutine and still have a ridiculous amount of money left.
back to the dragon.
we’d gone up to one of the stalls before and asked what we had to do to win one. the lady is old and kinda grumpy, probs not super happy about working around screaming kids, so instead of telling us how many balloons we had to pop to get a dragon (the information we were looking for) she tells us how much money to just straight up buy it.
i’m hard of hearing and have problems processing auditory input so i do not hear what the price is. this is before lunch and i have fourteen dollars.
she walks over while we’re trying to count out how much change i have and then shakes her head. she did not say fourteen dollars. she said forty. anxiety kicks in and it’s suddenly the worst moment of my life.
after lunch, we have forty dollars leftover. we march up to the lady and i would love to say we shoved forty dollars in her face but we did not. we crouched over her counter for about ten minutes trying to figure out what combination of change equaled forty dollars. then i awkwardly poured it into her hand.
she’s going to just give us the dragon but apparently she has to keep up the ruse bc she drops a handful of darts on the counter. we have eight darts between us and we have paid forty dollars. all i want is the dragon.
we each throw four darts. it’s horribly sad to pay forty dollars and get a measly eight darts. but hey, the economy is shit. we are also shit. as in, we are awful shots. i think we managed to pop a total of three balloons. it’s far more likely that we only popped two.
i tell myself that we aren’t paying for the darts, we’re paying for a dragon.
the lady hands us a dragon. i forget that anything bad has ever happened to me in my life. i am so fucking overjoyed to have a dragon. like damn.
the rest of this story happens much, much later.
it’s about 7pm. lex and i have decided to go on one last ride and then leave. we’re both wearing shorts, have no jackets, and it’s getting cold out. so we get in line for the himalaya.
(to explain, it’s kinda like a roller coaster but it only goes around a little circular track. they play really, really loud music the entire time the ride is going. it’s awful and amazing. esp bc they play weird shit like gangam style and old justin beiber songs. it’s weird. the ride spins forward for half a song and then backwards for the last half. there’s usually a guy standing by to make sure that everything runs smoothly but he also has another purpose. he sits there with his hands out and high fives as many people as he can. it’s amazing but as the lighter person i’m never on the outer edge so i can almost never reach him and it’s upsetting.)
we’re waiting in line for the himalaya. we’re both tired. we’ve been here for six hours. both quiet. and then lex screams.
she’s seen our friend chris on the ride. we did not know chris was there, had no plans to meet up with him. and chris is kind of awesome and bubbly and just all around a pretty cool dude. we both love him.
so clearly, we spend the next couple of minutes making funny faces at chris every time the ride brings him closer to us. it’s what friends do.
when chris gets off the ride, he’s here with some other people that we barely know but that isn’t important, we make plans to ride the himalaya together as our final ride. lex and i get on the ride and we’ll meet up later.
(before then, we also persuade him to ride the tilt-a-whirl with us and scare the shit out of him by spinning it as hard as we can. there’s videos of him just screaming. it’s pretty great.)
then it’s the last ride of the night. the himalaya.
we all get in line.
after such a good day, something just had to go wrong.
we’re getting pretty close to the start of the line and there’s a pretty decent gap in the line bc it’s late and everyone’s lazy so lines tend to be disorganized. a group of teens is kinda chilling next to the line and they do the unthinkable. they attempt to slide into the line just ahead of us.
this brings us to the part of the story where chris almost gets in a fight.
chris may be an airhead but he absolutely will not stand for shit like that so he just holds his arm out in front of him like a shield and tells them to go to the back of the line. the teens do not take this super well.
incorrigible as ever, they still jump the line but this time they end up just behind us in the line. everything is fine. and then the ‘leader’ starts talking shit at chris, backed up by his boys.
(i should mention that chris is trans, pre-t, and fucking tiny. he also lacks comon sense. for all that he may be like three years older than me, he will always be my little brother.)
so when the leader says, “if you ever fucking touch me again, i’ll grope your ass,” we all get a little defensive. also bc the guy’s a dick.
there’s two kids in line behind us and in front of them. lex has noticed them, i did not. they’re middle schoolers. clearly. they’re full of energy, dancing and dabbing and just generally being walking, talking memes. lex is also a memelord. these are her people. so she turns to them and asks them to annoy the shit outta the guys behind them.
being annoying middle schoolers who love chaos, they comply.
at some point they ask us how old we all are. now, remember how i said chris is fucking tiny? he tells them he’s 21 and they don’t believe it. and of course, i’m 19 but i look 12 so they don’t believe me either.
chris and i are both fucking extra so we dig out our wallets to present our id cards to these kids. and my wallet is a wee bit of a disaster. i’m also clumsy. so when i try to get it back in the bag, it doesn’t end well. i decide to just carry it with me on the ride and it’s all going great until i trip. all the cards spill out.
now there’s this guy and i’ve seen him on several rides. he’s wearing sunglasses and a frown. i have not seen him smile all day. he also keeps texting during rides with is baffling to me. ENJOY THE DAMN RIDE.
just giving you context so he’s clearly established as a douche.
i trip right next to his car. as i’m struggling to pick up the contents of my wallet, he turns to me and says, “how many fucking cards do you need?"
i’m not proud, but here’s my response: "how many fucking cards does your mom need?!” then i walked away. and keep in mind that half of my cards are still on the floor as i make my exit. (luckily lex grabbed them.)
with that nonsense over, we attempt to get on the ride.
now, i’m a fucking twig with legs and i’ve already said that chris is tiny. we figure that all of us will fit in the one car. we have forgotten to factor in lex’s fucking gigantic hips. she cannot fit in the car with us. so she gets out and looks around and spots them.
the middle schoolers, they’re sitting behind us.
lex approaches their car and says, i kid you not, “move fuckers, i’m getting in.” respectful of their meme elder, they allow this.
we figure that’s enough adventure for one day so lex and i start to leave the fair. it’s been a long day. we are very tired. i say, wistfully, “damn, we should’ve gotten a picture with the meme children.” lex and i turn to each other, communicating non-verbally, and simultaneously turn to head back into the fairgrounds.
and that’s the story of how i ended up following two children on instagram.
#submission#ace of twos#This was honestly hysterical#Thank you so much for sending this in#XDD#Sorry it took me so long to reply#The notification went away before I remembered to post it#XD;;;;;
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Maple Trees and Libraries
idk if yall remember but awhile back my friend jeannie and I did a prompt exchange where we would each give each other a prompt and a pairing and then we'd write the fic. well anyhow i'm doing another one with my tumblr amigo @lost-in-the-in-between who's super cool and is the reason this fic has come to exist! cheers to you Ash.
anyhow i dont know how college works so please forgive me, and also this is mediocre at best but WHATEVER leave me alone just read it
college au because i’m a slut for those
prompt: “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”
pairing: zoe murphy/evan hansen
“Hi, Evan, right?”
Evan jerks his head up from his book about various different tree species, and swirly shapes bloom in front of his eyes, which he blinks away. “Um — yes? Evan. I mean yes, that’s me.”
And you’re Zoe Murphy, only the girl I’ve been in love with since we both started here two years ago.
Zoe smiles at him, but it’s oddly strained. “Look, I know we’ve literally never talked, but you’re the only person in the library right now and I need a weird favor.”
Actually, they have talked. Twice. One: when Zoe asked what she missed after she missed an econ lesson. Evan gave her his notes with a few incoherent jumbled phrases mixed in and then avoided her eyes. He didn’t get any notes for that class. Two: when Zoe spotted Evan lingering — or maybe loitering — outside the band room during practice and asked him what he was doing there, and didn’t he have class? And Evan said yes he had class but the thing was was that his class was really boring and anyway he knew enough about environmental science to miss one class and also he totally didn’t realize she was in band, how cool! Even though that was a total lie and Evan knew Zoe was majoring in music theory because he came by the band room all the time to watch them practice just so he could see Zoe do that half-smile. And Zoe said okay and did the half-smile at him and went back into the band room.
But obviously Zoe doesn’t remember either of those, which makes sense because that was all last year and Zoe is different this year, so why should she remember a guy like Evan. Except now she’s asking him a favor and oops, he’s taken too long to respond, again.
Evan blinks. “O-okay?”
"Great. Listen, see that guy?" Zoe's eyes flit to, yes, the only other person in the library. Evan doesn't know him. Evan doesn't know most people, though, so no surprise. "That's my ex." Oof. He's way hotter than me. At least you have standards, Zoe. "He's an asshole and he's going to come over here as soon as he sees me and start hitting on me, which he's been doing since we broke up two months ago. I need you to hold my hand so he gets jealous and leaves me alone. Okay?"
She says this all like it's the game plan, and Evan is all prepared to agree to it until he thinks about the actual words she's saying to him. "Wait – won't that just make him want to, like, kill me? 'Cause I'm not really – I'm actually having a good day and I would really hate for it to be spoiled by, you know, being snapped in half by some Neanderthal who's jealous. Besides he probably won't even be jealous, I mean, look at him, he's way better-looking than me, and also he could break me in his palm, so I really don't think –"
"Evan!" Zoe hisses, as if they're best friends and didn't just speak for the first time ever (in recent memory) right now. Evan chokes on whatever other arguments he was going to present – which is probably for the best, because the last thing he needs is to dig himself into some unending hole of chatter and shame. "Come on, man, I need some help here."
"Okay, fine, okay," he concedes. "I – well – okay."
"Awesome." Zoe drags her chair around the circular table until she's right next to Evan and links her fingers with his very casually, like it's something they do every day, and at a very inopportune moment Evan remembers that you can feel someone's pulse in their wrist, and she can probably feel his heart racing a thousand miles per hour. He has the stupidest urge to yank his hand away and also he really needs to wipe his palms on his jeans because they're probably insanely sweaty because when he's nervous his palms get sweaty and that's just unpleasant for everyone, plus Zoe wouldn't tell him if his palms were sweaty and gross because who says that? But he knows she'd be thinking it and then never speak to him again so –
Their hands are on the table for anyone to see even though Asshole Ex is the only person here, and Evan hopes he comes and goes too fast to even find out what Evan's name is, because the last thing he wants is to be on someone's hit list that looks like he got a dose of Captain America's super-soldier serum. As if on cue, or maybe because he heard Zoe's chair dragging across the carpet, he turns, spots Zoe, and starts towards the two of them. Evan's heart is definitely considering leaping out of his chest and committing suicide, from the way it's hammering his ribcage.
"He's gonna kill me, you know that, right?" he whispers, and Zoe grins loftily.
"Pft," she says dismissively. And then Asshole Ex is standing – towering, looming over them – and Evan can't really say anything else.
"Hey," Asshole Ex says, and boy, Evan wishes he'd just say his name so Evan could stop calling him Asshole Ex, which, okay, it's crude, really, accuracy levels aside. He leans over the table and Evan feels innately like he’s being preyed on by some predator, aside from the fact that he’s being ignored entirely, which is what he’s used to. "What's new, Zoe?"
"What's new is my boyfriend Evan," Zoe answers, her tone clipped, very juxtaposed to the relaxed, laid-back tone she'd used with Evan. Evan jumps at the word boyfriend and shrinks under Asshole Ex's analytical once-over.
Evan swallows. "Yeah, boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend, me, Evan," whose name you now know and can weaponize to bend me to your will, that's great. "What – what's your name again, did you say? You didn't – you never said your name."
Asshole Ex raises an eyebrow in the most threatening glare ever. "Ryan," he says, or maybe sneers is a better word. "Zoe’s never mentioned me?”
“Why would I? If you don’t recall, I hate your fucking guts,” Zoe comments, the way someone would say we have math homework due tomorrow or I really like apple pie.
Ryan scoffs, but his eyes stay focused on Evan, who’s starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, to be honest. “You're Zoe's new arm candy?"
"Well, I don't know about arm candy," Evan begins.
"You're right. You're way too mousy to be anyone's arm candy. Much less someone like Zoe," Ryan says, every word like venom. Evan really fights the urge to sharply answer with, trust me, buddy, I know it.
"Watch what you say to my boyfriend, you motherfucker," Zoe snaps, a cutting edge to her voice that Evan would not like to be on the receiving end of, ever. "Leave us alone. We're very busy doing research."
"About trees," Evan puts in. He hears Zoe repress a laugh.
"About trees," she agrees. "Especially –" she grabs his book and flips through it, "maple trees. They're much more interesting than your clingy ass. So if you would be so kind." With her free hand, Zoe gestures to the exit of the library, and Ryan's stare would definitely make maple trees wilt. Evan's surprised he hasn't been literally laser-eyed to death yet. He's also pretty freaking amazed at how Zoe's more or less keeping her cool.
"Maple trees?" Ryan mimics. "Yeah, fascinating. Just like your rabbity new boyfriend. Enjoy your time while you have it," he snarls in Evan's general direction. And then, in a scarily low tone to Zoe, "You'll realize what you're missing soon enough, babe."
He brushes the book about trees off the table and it hits the carpet with a muffled thud. Then, with a final look of distaste, he's gone.
Evan feels his chest unclench. "That was – frightening. Can we report him for, like, sexual harassment? Or general harassment?"
Zoe releases her hand from his, and instantly Evan misses the warmth it sent through his whole body. "Sorry to drag you into that."
"No, it's okay, it's – its okay," Evan says quickly. "I mean it was frightening in like a good way, like oh, so scary, but more like a rush, you know? Like kind of a roller coaster? I thought you handled that really well, he was a total – well, a total asshole, like you said." WHAT AM I SAYING.
Zoe giggles and turns to look at him. "You held your own. Were you actually reading about maple trees?"
Evan blushes and ducks his head. "Um, well, oak trees, actually. They can get really tall. Like forty feet, maybe more. I tried to climb a forty-foot tall oak tree once. Um, it didn't go well. I actually fell from it," he's gesturing with his hands now, painting the oak tree in the air and watching himself let go, "and broke my arm, which really sucked a lot. Actually, why am I telling you this? I'm sorry, you must have a million things to do. I'll stop talking now." He wishes he could get his book and bury his nose in it. Unfortunately, it's on the floor on Zoe's side, and how awkward would it be to reach over her? Or to get up and get it? So he just looks at his hands instead as they fall to the tabletop.
The book slides across the surface like magic, except the magic is actually Zoe's hands. And then, as Evan opens his mouth to say thank you through his scarlet blush, she says, "Hey, this is a little strange, but do you want to go out sometime? For real?"
Evan's vital organs all pretty much cease to function for a couple of seconds.
"Out?" he repeats uncertainly. "Out like how? Like, outside? Or like on a date? That's weird, sorry, why would you go on a date with me," he laughs a hollow kind of laugh, "but if you – I mean, I can go out with you like a friend --"
"On a date," Zoe clarifies. "With me. Tomorrow night."
Evan blinks, gapes, and then realizes he's imitating a fish out of water and stops. "Oh," he says. He pauses, just to make sure he didn't invent that whole interaction, and then says, "Oh," again. And then he clears his throat. "Uh, yes, that – I would really like that, yes. That sounds great."
"I'll meet you here," Zoe says, pushing her chair back and standing. "At seven. We can decide where to go from there."
Evan's mouth is dry with anticipation, but he manages, "Perfect."
"Can't wait," Zoe says, smiling at him warmly.
She turns and walks away, vanishing into another section of the library, and Evan's vision swims with the unreality of that whole conversation.
He opens up his book, closes it and shelves it.
At the checkout counter, the lady says, "Taking anything out?"
Evan sighs contentedly, and says, "Just a girl."
#*sigh* just a girl#evan you are such a lame nerd#anyway#deh#deh fic#dear evan hansen fic#dear evan hansen fanfic#these tags are all bc when im looking for deh fic i can never find it#evan hansen#zoe murphy#some asshole named ryan#meet-cute#stuff#my writing#prompt exchange
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Lot’s of long answers in this one sorry not sorry.
1. Do you like zombie movies?
Nah, I’m not into the whole zombie thing. <--Same. I do like Zombieland though.
2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom?
Used condoms.
3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do?
I use a lot of paper towels.
4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give?
I’m not sure.
5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen?
I HATE the whole “fighting is healthy” mentality. Yes, bickering is fine, but if you’re fighting all the time, that is not a healthy relationship AT ALL. If your partner is screaming and yelling you on a regular basis, that is borderline emotional abuse.
6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to?
I haven’t. And definitely not, I hate hospitals.
7. What was your worst Halloween costume?
All of my costumes have been pretty awesome. I was Lucy from Lucy, Daughter of the Devil one year and no one got it, but I still had fun with it.
8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class?
Eh.
9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature?
I’ll let you know when that happens.
10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas?
Yeah. It’s kinda hard to talk about, but about 7 years ago my mother accidentally took her meds twice in the morning and she was completely out of it while opening presents. I got her a really nice chalkboard that she had wanted and she opened it and literally looked at it, said nothing, and put it down to open the next present, pretty much repeating what she did with mine. And when she did say stuff she was very incoherent. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch.
11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones?
There are some Batman ones that were mine at my dad’s still.
12. Have you ever had to give a pet away?
Yes. My ex gave me a kitten like 2 weeks before we broke up. The cat was also born to a wild cat that his friends fed but didn’t house, so the cat was, well, wild. He would scratch and bite me in my sleep and probably had worms. And I was too depressed after being dumped to deal with the kitten and I felt SO horrible but I had to give him to a shelter. I really hope that kitty has a good home now.
13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten?
Oh man, I don’t know. Probably like loaded cheese fries or something. Or a fried Oreo.
14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes?
Yeah, I pretended a lotttttt. One of the biggest things I did was make cars in my dining room by setting up our chairs. I’d pretend to go on road trips with my dolls.
15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks?
I’m not a huge fan but I don’t mind them. I’d rather them be firm.
16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong?
Yeah, my 7th grade math teacher was a JOKE.
17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose?
Maybe Facebook?
18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family?
I’ve definitely been in some online ones that I didn’t tell them about.
19. How much do you know about first aid?
Not very much oops.
20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about?
Hmm. Good question. The magic of Facebook has changed this dynamic recently. I used to not know anything about some of my second cousins but I have a lot of them on FB now, so I know at least a little about them. Maybe some of the family I have in TN?
21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you?
Yeah. It was nice I guess? I supposed I do my own forms of meditating now, like relaxing in the tub or enjoying being outside.
22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you?
Yeah.
23. Have you ever used a view-master?
Yeah!
24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows?
Sometimes I’ll listen to NPR, and my favorite segments on that station are Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and This American Life.
25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck?
Oh it’s been a while. I’m hoping I can catch one this summer with my niece because she’d love that. We’ve gotten ice cream from one of those bicycle cooler things before and she thought it was so neat.
26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now?
I don’t pay attention to that, haha. I do know Die Antwoord is going to break up at the end of the year or already did or something. Like I said, I have no idea about those things.
27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job?
I did. She seemed to enjoy it.
28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go?
Hmm. I can’t think of anything. Maybe my architecture final? That I did pass.
29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live?
Squirrels, birds, bunnies, raccoons, and unfortunately skunks.
30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire?
Yeah, we’ve cooked potatoes and corn in a fire before. And also hot dogs. Oh and beans one time too.
31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose?
Hmm. Mark’s night stand is currently a storage box.
32. What do you hope the afterlife is like?
I don’t know if I believe in that or not.
33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child?
One of the kids at the daycare my sister owns used to communicate displeasure well into his toddler years by SCREAMING and refusing to move. Like would stiffen up and just scream. He was a terror and my sister could not get him adjusted no matter what she tried, and the parents didn’t want to listen either.
34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge?
Maybe little things as a kid. Like one time I was hanging out with my sister when I was about 9 or 10 and she was 18 ish, and then all of a sudden her boyfriend came over and they deserted me. They ordered Chinese food for just them and while they were upstairs, I poured an insane amount of garlic powder in it. But the joke ended up being on me because my sister then offered the leftovers to me. Haha.
35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies?
I mean, we enjoy doing things together, definitely. My dad and I go to Cubs games and watch movies and go out to eat together a lot. He also likes going on trips and so do I. But he’s definitely a lot more interested in music than I am. And golfing. When my mom was alive we enjoyed shopping together, and she liked trips and movies as well. She also collected antiques, which isn’t something I’m super interested in, but I do appreciate them.
36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older?
Both.
37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended?
My sister’s wedding was basically one big reception in my dad’s backyard. It was SUPER laid back; there was a small ceremony and then afterwords we had a taco bar and my sister grilled the steak herself in her wedding dress. I loved that part haha. We also had my dad’s friend’s band play and my dad also got up and played a few songs on his guitar as well. Everyone just danced and laughed and had a really great time. It was really fun, despite who she was marrying, haha.
38. Do you have any physical photo albums?
There are a TON at my dad’s house.
39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop?
Eh.
40. Who was the worst friend you ever had?
Aside from lil pre-teen jackasses in middle school, my ex friend Jessica. She was SO into herself she never asked me how I was doing and she thought she was a really good signer and definitely wasn’t. She also pulled some bullshit when my ex and his best friend tried to break Mark and I up early in our relationship. Long story short, when I told her what happened she was like “I’m not going to take sides” (my ex’s best friend was her bf’s brother). UM that situation was definitely something you should take sides in, especially when it happened to your supposed best friend. I stopped talking to her that day.
41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made?
Staying at home longer than I wanted to. I did it so my dad wouldn’t be lonely. I was on track to moving out when my mother passed away and then I felt like I needed to/wanted to stay with him and it ended up being a few more years before I moved out on my own (with Mark).
42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active roll in an election?
Eh.
43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given?
Oh man I cannot think right now. I’m sure there have been a few things I’ve given my niece. The only thing I can think of right now is my Barbie collection, even though they are still at my dads and she only plays with them there. They will eventually become hers fully though. OH! The coolest hand-me-down I ever got was my sister’s old room in our parent’s home when she moved out. It was painted blue top to bottom and had a KILLER walk in closet.
44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other?
My dad’s mother is my only living grandparent and they bicker A LOT. I think he might harbor some of the same resentment I do against her for treating my mother so horrible when she was alive. And that he’s on his way to retirement but now has to take care of her. And now on his own since I moved out, which I feel super guilty about but that’s a story for another day. This survey is over and I need to sleep.
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Another Embarrassing Work Story
Okay, last week got heavy. But thanks to all of you who responded! I got a lot of great, supportive feedback :)
This week though, I think I owe you guys not JUST a light-hearted entry, but one where I make myself look like a complete and utter moron.
Cat "The Moron" Rust has a nice ring to it.
Now before I get into the gory details, this is a disclaimer that um, I'm kind of immature in a joking way with people who share the same type of humor. Most of you who know me personally are probably saying some version of the phrase, "....and what else is new?", but some of you who either a) don't know me or b) think highly of me (I realize this is likely a scant few) may be shocked or possibly even offended by this story. That's your warning, and I hope you still want to be my friend.
Think this is tasteless? Read on.
Ahhhh. Here goes.
So I put in my notice at National Aquarium towards the end of September. It was sad, because I really enjoyed working there and it also signaled the end of my marine mammal career. Lots to process, to say the least. But everyone was super supportive of my new path.
My final weeks were filled with tying up loose ends, playing with lots of dolphins, and causing trouble with my coworkers. One of these coworkers is a fantastically sarcastic, hilarious person (who is herein referred to as Snarky McSnarkerson). Let me just give you a quick breakdown of this wonderful human being and the relationship I have with her.
On my first day on the job as lead trainer, I was sitting in the marine mammal office in the usual This Is My First Day On The Job Oh My God I Have Forgotten Everyone's Name Already And Also Where Are The Bathrooms whirlwind, when this tornado of a human being blasts through the door and says:
"THIS MOTHERF***** JUST THREW CHICKEN INTO THE HABITAT."
A small voice from an unseen place replies, "Um, Snarky McSnarkerson? This is Cat, our new lead."
Oopsy poopsy
Ms. McSnarkerson looks at me, color drained from her face and says something like, "Oh. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. BUT THIS KID JUST THREW CHICKEN INTO THE POOL."
I was already LOLing at this point, reassuring Snarky that it was seriously fine (no guests could hear her) as we all assembled to gate the dolphins out of the main habitat to retrieve the chicken. And so, the stage was set for my rapport with this sassy trainer.
Aside from sarcasm and talking in a variety of obnoxious accents, we shared another slightly more edgy activity that involved using the iPhone's message drawing feature to send uh, cartoonish representations of male genitalia to each other. Sometimes they wore hats. They almost always had faces, although once we made one into a palm tree. I'm pretty sure she made one into a Christmas tree at some point. But I digress.
YEAH
These phallic images were sent liberally to one another, almost to the point where it was expected that we would exchange at least one image on a weekly basis. And so, this trend continued for the duration of my employment.
Precisely eight days before my last day, I was in the office taking care of some random stuff. Snarky was on her lunch break, probably eating some version of pizza and/or pretzels (she is also like 9 pounds, which just isn't fair), watching The Bachelor on her phone. You know, like you do. I decided that this was a perfect opportunity to send her a well drawn cartoon of a giant, fluorescent wiener. Like, huge. With a really cute little smiley face. I scribbled away, admired my work, and sent it into cyberspace where it was delivered to Snarky's phone.
I waited. The reception in the office was wonky at times, so I didn't expect an immediate response. But then seconds turned into a minute. Then two. Then three.
Waiting waiting waiting
Confused, I asked Ms. McSnarkerson if she'd gotten my text. She looked up from her phone and said, "I don't think so." She scrolled through her messages. "No."
"What?" I said. I looked down at my phone. The message had sent. And then.... "OH. OH GOD"
At this point, a few of the other trainers (equally awesome as Snarky, might I add) started paying attention to my blossoming panic attack. Because I hadn't sent the giant dick pic to Snarky.
I had sent it to my boss.
Actual footage from the event
There it was, in all its colorful, smiling glory. A cartoon penis, just sitting in my boss's text message window, without any explanation whatsoever. Just a friendly cartoon phallys from your quitter-employee, Cat.
I looked at my phone for what seemed like hours. I think I might have yelled incoherently until I was better able to express what was happening in actual language. My panic is reaching critical mass as I spew out every possibility that results in my boss NOT seeing the message:
"DO YOU THINK SHE SEES IT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T SAY SHE READ IT YET"
"DO YOU THINK MAYBE SHE EVEN HAS THIS FEATURE ON HER IPHONE BECAUSE MAYBE SHE CAN'T SEE IT BECAUSE MAYBE SHE DOESN'T HAVE THIS FEATURE ON HER PHONE"
"DO YOU THINK MAYBE THIS IS JUST A NIGHTMARE AND ALL OF YOU IN THIS OFFICE ARE JUST FIGMENTS OF MY IMAGINATION"
And then a little line of text popped up under the grinning appendage. "[Your boss] kept Digital Touch Message from you."
I actually fell to the floor and curled up in the fetal position as my coworkers laughed at my insanely mortifying mistake. I was doing something that hovered between sobbing, laughing, and pooping. I waited. And then I sent my boss a text to try to begin damage control.
And here is how the conversation went:
Luckily, she was super awesome about it. And later I found out she thought the photo was some kind of message regarding the penis present behavior I was working on with another amazing trainer. It just goes to show that in zookeeping, no body part is considered lewd (and you know what? It should be like that...right?).
Sigh. Please tell me some of you have similar stories.....
from The Middle Flipper http://ift.tt/2pTv7BT
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