#where i go oh. i can fix you so easy and make u feel loved. and so i do. and this is the same case to me... im not super experienced w viny
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like... to get an idea of what all id need to do. for anyone curious ig and also to just... totally beat the allegations of yucky little beast:
survey the damage... bc shes obviously in VERY bad shape. so id need to see if i could even get her eyes out or if id maybe. need to dremel into them to get them free so i could start on faceup removal
get the eyes out. this is very scary bc of the hot glue and also the mysterious gray substance. if it IS apoxie sculpt like i think it is then good god. thats going to be the worst 7 bucks ive ever spent or smth
clean the head. im really hoping that its dirt and not.. the alternative on the forehead and other parts of the face. if it IS some mold or fungus, ive got pony experience here (as in. i have dealt with that a few times on MLP) so I'm not... too worried? My guess is its surface level grime that should go away w the faceup being removed.
attempt to remove the faceup. the paint rly looks like it goes ALL the way around her head (poor thang) so ill probably test with acetone at the back of her head. for whatever reason i feel very much like her head has to be fragile so id rather test the more strong/easy to use chemical in a lesser seen spot. i really do not want to be scrubbing with rubbing alcohol for 5 years. bc the faceup looks like at LEAST a few layers of paint with a bad sealant so (as someone whos removed two full body resin paint jobs) i know acetone would be quickest (but alcohol is safest. but we will see)
assess the damage AGAIN. i predict that she is severely yellowed (due to the cracks on the cheek) but the question of if it is either just. in those spots where the faceup cracked or if its all over is really unsure. i mainly want to get her to try retrobrighting (which ive done on older MLP with great success and it seems to be something that works for this kind of vinyl as well) on her and just. fix up a doll that is beyond repair for most people lol. from what ive experienced with resin, i think the yellowing could either be all over (and the head was painted to try and hide this. although this clearly did not go well lol, altho i think its a sealant issue and not a paint issue, as it kind of looks like when ive fucked up with MSC (a common sealant for bjds)) or it could be just... shes been in sunlight and where the paint cracked got unevenly yellowed (i experienced this most recently with my big blue boy, where all the blue paint kind of. protected his resin and the non covered parts got more yellow). so its kind of a toss up. or a mysterious third thing you never know.
once shes all clean (which i assume will take a while due to well... how bad of shape that she is in), ill probably sit with it for a few days and then get milliput and sculpt a new nose. this will not be fun for me i think because I just... am not a sculpting fan (funny thing when this project WILL have a lot of sculpting) and much prefer sanding. I'm not too mad about the chin being sanded down (as the original had an INSANELY pointed chin which I really didn't like. I hate sanding vinyl so this works for me) or the eyes being opened (other than.. having to figure out the size on my own and pray for the best). Most of the mods are not... bad to me and are partially why I'm drawn to miss yucky bc like... the diseases but also the fact that the mods do mostly make the head cuter for me
Redo the faceup. I would love to keep the elements of the original with the big eyelashes as I find them cute, but the BIGGEST order of business is eyebrows good god. I'll have to paint over the mod that I did but I'm not super worried about it (maybe falsely I've never painted a vinyl head in full bc I have exactly one vinyl doll) and then hope i can get the head right on the first try. depending on how bad the yellowing is (and if im able to retrobright her to a lighter skin tone, as the body i have is pretty light (altho it doesnt match any skins from this company so. its a whole thing its ok)) i might just paint the whole head (or even come up with a story or reason why its mismatched. I have a lot of heads and bodies like that so I don't mind fully lol). It's just kind of a scary tossup on how bad of shape everything is.
Done <3 i really dont think itll be TOO bad but i also like... think i wont know fully until i get my hands on her if i do. She would be pretty tiny too (as in 45 cm or so, or for the americans, 1.5 ft) but I do love that scale of doll so. it could work.
#twist rambles#bjd posting#im truly thinking abt it bc minus the eyes i do rly have all the parts id need for her?? and i feel bad for her so.#talking myself into horrific purchases IS my passion but I genuinely feel so charmed by her... like i just... its the same as w old ponies#where i go oh. i can fix you so easy and make u feel loved. and so i do. and this is the same case to me... im not super experienced w viny#dolls but i spent a few years in that side of the hobby so ik a bit. im just mainly worried abt the sculpting or... what will be UNDER the#faceup. and trying to size the eyes. and the eyes in general lol#long post#bc it probably is. i love to ramble about my dolls tho... or future scaries. but i think it would be fun and i am in the middle of a few#projects rn so. i might as well.#which reminds me after i finish the horrible thing im reading i need to finish scrubbing my doll... and get superglue on another. i have ha#two boys dismembered bodies on my floor for a few days so. i have to take care of it <- they had to get restrung#also sorry this is probably like... super incoherent for EVERYONE but. i hope you enjoy seeing my justification for a really bad purchase l#lmao. still holding off to see what buyee says on the shipping but... it would be so sillies <- famous last words.
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OH MY GOSH are you a rafayel lover too 😭 i swear, i love him so much! and im happy that l&ds comnunity is growing here that a new ff of raffy is posted everyday when i refresh the tags! im glad u seem enthusiastic to accept requests 😔 my raffy brainrot is so bad i need my fix!
can i request? we know rafayel has some sort of "abandonment issues" and we know where it stems from and how it manifests (where he says mc can do what they want as long as they come back to him or let him know what they're doing 😭) and imagine that mc GENUINELY forgets bc she's tired from all the work as a hunter, and when she meets raffy again, he's quiet and she's trying to prod a word out of him but he won't budge cuz he's hurt 😭 and u can go on from there! aargh i love hurt/comfort so much.
happy valentines!! (in advance) 😔🎊🎂
YES rafa is my babygirl. my muse. my glubglubglub. my everything. HE'S SUPER RELATABLE TOO ??? HELP my abandonment issues are literally the same, I'm almost offended 😭😭💔 tysm for the request & happy early valentinesss 💓💓💓
ʟᴏ$ᴇʀ=ʟ♡ᴠᴇʀ !
rafayel x reader
cw: burn-out like symptoms, wounds/blood, arguing, cursing, hurt & comfort
𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼
6:00 a.m., you skimmed over rafayel's last message and told yourself to reply later - of course, as fate does, a super strong wanderer appeared which occupied you for an excruciating, multiple hour long fight. it was night when you returned home, stripping off your uniform and throwing your gun on the kitchen counter. You barely made it to bed, soaking your sheets in a bit of blood before completely passing out.
it was noon when you woke up again and evening when you were done with your report and bandaging your wound. finally, you were able to check your phone, and it doomed on you. rafayel's message stayed unreplied. you scrolled down his other three texts.
𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼
11am rafa: are u ok?
12am rafa: (y/n), can I come over?
1pm: are u serious? not this again.
𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼
you furrowed your eyebrows in regret, but exhaled painfully right after. your wound opened again.
you were forced on another, quicker mission that night, but it still left you exhausted, your former wound nagging at you still. once again you came home late, passed out, and woke up around noon. opening your phone, there were no new messages.
quickly, you pressed the call button and were shocked to find the artist wasn't picking up.
𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼
5:00 pm y/n: hey, sry rafayel. work has been a lot lately.
5:01 pm y/n: I'm rlly sorry
𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼
wincing, you sat down, your heart beating anxiously for some reason. 'what if this is it? I broke his promise. there's no reason for him to stay. it's fair, but I need him around. because...'
because you like him. it's selfish, you want him around although you barely fill his needs. suddenly, a very familiar dark cloud forms in your stomach and you feel depressed. deeming another relationship ruined by your work, you open social media to drown out the silence.
several hours passed until a knock at your door ripped you out your daze. quickly, you got up and open it. "rafayel." you say, his name coming out almost like a sigh of relief before you could register it. he was dressed in his white shirt, and white pants adorned with an intricate silver belt - he looked put together as always. you, on the other hand, were in an oversized tee, messy hair and deep eyebags with chapped lips. "hi." he simply greeted, making his way into your apartment.
you followed him, breathing anxiously at his unreadable aura. "listen, rafayel - I'm sorry, I wanted to reply and text you but.."
"you forgot." he replied, crossing his arms. there was a look of hurt and disappointment in his face. "it's not that simple." you argued, breathing in to continue, but he emotionally cut you off. "it is, though. (y/n), if you'd like me enough, a simple task like keeping me updated would be easy."
"rafayel. I like you, I like you a lot but..." you breathed in deeply, the harshness of his words getting to you enough to make your eyes teary. defeated, you sat down on your couch, burying your face in your hands. "these past days have been a lot, I could barely take care of myself and most of the time I was either fighting, passed out or tending to my wounds..." you trailed off weakly - due to your eyes being covered, you couldn't see rafayel's eyebrows raising in shock at your reaction, his arms slowly sinking.
"I swear if I'd have a normal life, I'd text you regularly, but it's not." slowly, you raise your head to meet his eyes - yours were puffy and red, tears streamed down your face. rafayel stayed silent, waiting for you to continue.
"it'd be selfish of me to wish for you to stick by me while i don't fulfill your needs, i know i'm not a good...friend. I try to do my best, rafa. you mean a lot to me, but i understand if you want to leave. you deserve someone better."
at this point, tears were streaming down your face freely, and soft sobs escaped your throat. rafayel lowered his gaze, afraid he'd sink to his knees and beg for forgiveness instead. after a while, he sat next to you, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours and brushing his thumb across your hand as he watched your body move with your sobs. "(Y/N), there is not a single part of you that is selfish."
gently, he holds your cheek and makes you look at him. his hand remains there as he continues talking.
"rather, it is me who is selfish. i crave your attention and validation, and feel hurt if i don't receive it. i'm sorry for being petty, i should've come over sooner. and..."
rafayel moves his hand to wipe away your tears and softly kisses your forehead, he smiles as he hears you breathe out softly.
"i could never bring it over my heart to part from you."
you gaze into his rich, magenta eyes and feel your heartstrings pull towards him. it's as if there were a bridge between your chests. closing your eyes, you feel your love for him blooming in the valleys of your bloodstream and bubbling out of your skin, and it weirdly feels as old as millenia, as if you'd known this love all your life, and all the lives you lived before.
"i'm glad." you smiled wobbly, "i feel the same." with a sigh, you leaned your head on his shoulder and let your body relax.
"i dunno how to feel about you calling us 'friends', though."
#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#lads#rafayel#love and deepspace rafayel#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#lads rafayel x reader#love and deepspace rafayel x reader
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CHILI PEPPER 18+ CS55
Carlos Sainz -CHILI PEPPER 18+
A small reminder, im really bad in writing fluff so im sorry for the first part! I did writed smut before but never posted it, let me know what you think!
Warnings: dominance carlos, public fingering, teasing, slightly BDSM, unprotected sex, thigh/ass slapping, carlos getting called daddy, orgasm (both). PinV. SMUT 18+++
4.3K+ words
This is my work, and I do not consent for it to be shared to other websites platforms or apps nor can any of my original story lines re-written or continue by others, love all your support x
and a big thank you to @carlos55edits for helping me with everything! XXX
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It was a normal Saturday evening, hanging out with Charles, Daniel, Lando and carlos. We were outside by the pool, talking about the latest race Silverstone. Carlos his first win in Formula one. He totally deserved this one!.
Carlos was decide the formula one driver, a sweet caring person. Family on priority 1. Always driven to complete goals, and ofcourse formula one. His dream that came true. Carlos thought that he had everything he wanted. But when he saw you, he drowned..
A girl that supported him through everything, that didn’t needed a word to understand what he was feeling, and he needed someone that loved formula one.
There you were, the girl of his dreams. But One point was missing.
The formula one love, you were a busy girl. Traveling for modelling. Its funny how you met carlos. You didn’t knew he was a formula one driver until 6 December 2021. You had a shoot for Ferrari, carlos and charles were there too when you shooted. And also did a few pictures with carlos.
After that day, he invited you to the last race. He learned you everything about the sport and made you fell In love with it. not only the sport but also with him.
Yes you fell for him, pretty hard. He was the man you wanted, inside and outside.
Everyone knew that you were dating carlos, but that day.. 17 July, is a day you both never forget. Carlos his first ever win in formula one. And if it couldn’t be better, carlos his girl of his dreams became his.
There was one problem and It sounds easy but it wasn’t that easy, looking carlos in his eyes.. Making eye contact wasn’t that difficult because his brown eyes were always fixed on me. But when it came to point I could never looked him in the eye.
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Carlos told me that Charles, Daniel and lando would come over today so I went out to give them space. When I came back home I saw them sitting by the pool. So I had the best idea to bring them drinks.
I quickly made a few cocktails, one without alcohol because lando doesn’t drink only on party’s. I putted them on a blade before walking out.
‘’hola hotties’’ I chuckled before handing them the cocktails.
‘’thanks yn, is this with alcohol?’’ lando immediately asked.
‘’no yours is without and the rest has a bit alcohol in it’’ I smiled before turning to carlos.
‘’text or call me when you need anything big boy’’ I told him before running my hand through his still wet hair
‘’where are you going Cariño?’’ he frowned, he sat on a big U formed couch, snuggled under a blanket, his hair was still messy because they were all day playing in and around the pool.
‘’oh I was going back inside, unpacking my package why?’’ I asked back. pointing to the boxes inside. I didn’t really bought something only a new red laced lingerie set and somethings I needed to pick up at the store for carlos.
‘’come on that can wait Cariño’’ he says, pulling with one hand on my arm, the other one hold the blanket up so I could join him
‘’are you sure, I don’t want to ruin your night with the boys’’ I said insecure. Its not that I don’t want to join but I don’t wanna be that girlfriend that is always taking his time away while he is with friends.
‘’don’t worry yn, you never ruin our night’’ charles spoke while smiling up to me.
‘’ yeah your amazing, the sunshine of our group we cant miss you!’’ lando chuckled before he putted his cocktail down.
‘’thank you’’ I mumbled softly before sitting down on carlos his lap, just a little bit to the side, my legs hanging over the side of the couch while carlos putted his right arm around me so I could snuggle against him.
The night goes by, we all drunk a little bit, not that much. (Except lando) Carlos his left hand never left my thigh that evening, his fingers tracing figures over my inner thigh while talking with them.
I tried not to think about yesterday evening. I really did my best.
-
You watched yourself in the mirror, carlos fucking you from behind roughly. The mirror perfectly allowing you to see the powerful man behind you in ways you never wanted to change. You both could feel your orgasms building when he pulled your body up against his chest while he continued to thrust deeply and fast in and out you.
The new angle provided the perfect simulation to your G-spot. You watched your self in the mirror as his hand came down. Circling around and on your throbbing clit, finally allowing you to cum.
Your pussy clenched around him and drew out his orgasm as he came for the second time tonight inside you. One final powerful thrust before I felt his cum filling me, following by a few more as he trusted his hot cum into you, moaning your name, kissing your neck while praising you.
-
‘’stop moving princessa or you might feel a problem down here’’ carlos breathed in my neck before kissing your neck slightly.
‘’where were you In your pretty mind Cariño’’ carlos whispered before fixing his lips back on my bare shoulder.
I weared a short pink silky dress, shoulders naked. My body barley covered. Because I didn’t had anything to wear I had to wear a out’ going’’ dress. Carlos loved this dress, maybe that was why he couldn’t hold his hands off me.
It went silence for a few moments between us, the others not paying attention to us for a moment. Ofcourse he knows he is good in bed, but I never told him about my ‘flashbacks.’
‘’I got a flashback .. yesterday night’’ I mumbled before turning my head, burring it in his neck. my lips dangerly close to his neck, my breath on his skin made him getting goosebumps
‘’ Cariño.. ‘’ carlos mumbled, his grip on my thigh got stronger “ you were so good for me princessa’’ he breath out, my lips finding his neck really quick.
Carlos got also flashbacks from yesterday, blood rushing to his cock. Sweet lips on his neck didn’t make it any easier then it was.
‘’yn, you should stop princessa’’
I slowly lifted my hips a bit up, moving my ass over his tight crotch. For the others it seemed like I was adjusting on his lap but it was nothing like that, my ass grinding for a few seconds over his crotch, immediately feeling his cock growing.
‘’you think anyone will notice if I start fingering you right now?’’ he whispers, his Spanish accent was thick. It maybe sounds weird but when he is talking Spanish.. it does turn me on.
my eyes going wide at his question, cheeks flushing red as my thighs rubbed against eachoter, the thought he wanted to finger me while we were with his friends..
‘’come on Cariño answer me, iknow you can be a good girl’’ he mumbles, his left hand sneaking under my dress. His fingers dangerly close to my core.
‘’i-I don’t think I can be quiet c-carlos’’ I whimpered, my hips slightly bulking up, trying to find any friction from his hand, his hand perfectly cupped my pussy.
‘’shut up and take it, or I might have to punish you later’’ he whispers before pulling me upwards, making me sit on his lap, my back fully pressed against his chest. my both legs fell becide his, he slowly opened his legs making mine automatically spread further
Luckily we had a blanket over our legs, his fingers slowly pulling on my thong, his fingers playing with the fabric before shoving them aside.
‘’mhm Cariño so ready for this’’ he winked, charles’ his eyes shooting to carlos.
Their friendship is so strong that charles immediately knew what was happening underneath the blanket. His finger tracing from my entrance to my clit a few times, spreading my wetness. My head well thrown back in his neck, hearing him mumble things.
A shiver left my spine as his fingers goasted through my soaked folds, a sharp breath followed caught off by the gasp that left my lips, carlos his fingers were already knuckle deep inside of me without even a thought of a warning. A string of whimpers left my mouth making the others frown confused.
‘’you okay yn?’’ Daniel asked worried, ofcourse I was okay. I bit my lip as carlos founded a steady rhythm inside before adding a second finger, the stretch practically burning at this point but the pleasure of the new founded fullness overrode your pain receptors.
‘’answer them’’ he whispered under his breath before speaking louder ‘’yeah Cariño do you need something? ‘’ carlos asked, putting his best acting skills on to sound worried. His fingers slowed down for a second, but when I opened my mouth to speak his fingers touched that sweet spot inside me.
‘’just..’’ I slightly moaned as carlos his fingers hitted again that sweet spot inside me. ‘’having really really.. bad pain cramps at the moment’’ I smiled a bit, a bit proudly on my quick excuse.
‘’oh god im sorry, it sucks to be a girl huh?’’ lando chuckled, I slightly nodded as carlos his fingers started to speed up again, his fingers touching constantly that G-spot inside me
‘’yeah.. period time’’ I sighed, throwing my head back against carlos his shoulder, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth.
‘’make sure your safe then’’ charles winked at carlos, who letted out a small laugh.
‘’im sure we will huh princess?’’ smirked before kissing my cheek he stilled his movements before pulling me a bit up, setting myself between his legs so he is hugging me from behind. His legs pulled upwards to steady me between them. His other hand found his way down too, because his legs were pulled upwards, the blanket felt perfectly over his knee down to the ground. Giving him enough space to fuck me harder with his fingers. His thumb found my throbbing clit, making me shiver even more.
It felt like my world paused, his thumb circling over my clit while his three fingers were inside me. The stretch of his large fingers made me moan. ‘’fuck..’’ the moan was definitely heard by the others, all three of them looking at me. Except charles who was swallowing hard, not because of his drink. But because he knew all well what was really going on.
‘’sorry guys.. I think im gonna head to bed’’ I whimpered, carlos his fingers speeded up once again, his fingers pumping in and out me in a reckless pace. His thumb got replaced with his forefinger as he added a little bit of pressure. He could feel how close I was, my pussy clenching around his fingers he knew my orgasm wasn’t far away.
‘’well guys we are going back home’’ lando spoke before Daniel, charles and lando got up carlos pulled his fingers out me, I pouted already missing the fullness.
‘’it was an amazing night guys!’’ carlos smiled.
‘’we should do this often, maybe I can bring my girl too’’ lando spoke, carlos jumped out behind me before hugging them goodbye
And within 10 seconds after they left, carlos easily picked me up, making me laying down on the couch outside, himself settled between my legs.
‘’your so fucking wet, I can see you dripping from right here.’’ Carlos smiled proudly, he exactly knew what he did to me. And he couldn’t say he wasn’t proud on that.
I closed my eyes when I felt his tongue running through my folds, licking from my entrace up to my clit, sucking it a little bit before licking back down.
‘’chilli.. please stop teasing.. I need you..’’ I whined, my hand gripping into his hair, slightly pulling on it.
His tongue circled around my throbbing and sensitive clit. When I felt his two fingers entering me again I moaned loudly.
‘’there you go hermosa, let me hear you’’ carlos hummed before diving back into my pussy, eating you out like a starved men. His puffy lips sucking on my sensitive clit while his two fingers were pumping in and out me, my walls already clenching around his fingers. He knew it wouldn’t take me long because he was already edging me the whole evening.
‘’look at me babygirl’’ he mumbled, his fingers curling to hit my G-spot, sometimes he knew my body better then myself.
I struggled with opening my eyes, and there he was. Looking up at me while eating me out, his lips red and swollen from sucking my clit while his fingers where still moving in and out me in a strong and fast pace. Making sure he would hit my G-spot every time.
‘’your clenching like crazy princessa’’ he smiled, pulling his face a bit away.
‘’what are you doing.. please chilli finish it’’ I whined, completely at his mercy.
‘’I will princessa, do you wanna cum then?’’ he asked me, his fingers still working inside me, I nodded heavily in response.
And within a second his lips were back on my clit, sucking like crazy as his fingers sped up, hitting my G-spot every time.
‘’I want you to hold your eyes open, I want you to look at me while you cum.. now you can let it go babygirl’’ he mumbled
So soon as his permission for you to cum was granted, you letted your high take over. The walls of your cunt contracting and squeezing his fingers, locking them inside. i barely could hear anything around myself. My eyes got closed, I couldn’t even hold them open. I came that hard that I felt like I was flying right after I cumed.
‘’that was … intense chilli’’ I breath out, completely blown off. He is an expert in going down on you. Something not every guy could do.
‘’Abierta’’ Open.
He held his 2 wet fingers for my mouth, I instantly opened my mouth, taking his fingers in my mouth before sucking them clean.
‘’anything you want princess?’’ he asked carefully, I saw his well formed tent in his basketball shorts. Got that has to be thight.. he caught me looking at it.
‘’you don’t have to- I mean, if you want but I can fix it myself-‘’ he startled, I interrupted him immediately
‘’I would love to ..’’ I paused, his eyes shooted up to mines’.
‘’to have you inside my mouth’’ I smiled. He quickly got up before helping me up.
His hands came down to tangle into your making a swift ponytail, when my hands flew to his boxer to pull him down he pulled on my hair. Making me stop.
‘’ask nicely princess’’ he raised his eyebrow almost laughing at me.
‘’please carlos.. let me fix you please’’ I begged him, slowly caressing his already harden dick through his black boxer.
‘’please daddy’’ I said with puppy eyes, he quickly nodded before letting me pull his boxer down, his cock sprung free against his abdomen.
He slightly blushed, he was already leaking pre-cum. He was so desperate for me.
‘’give me your hand princess’’ he smiled, I obeyed him as I gave him my hand. He wrapped his hand with mine underneath his around his member. As he started pumping up and down.
Carlos was massive, he was bigger then a normal guy.
‘’ stick out your tongue.’’ Carlos demanded me, so did I. sticking out my tongue, carlos grabbed my jaw, his fingers digging into my skin as he pulled me forward, sucking his cheek before making a bowl of spit, spitting in my mouth.
‘’don’t swallow, now use that pretty mouth and help daddy out’’ i blushed, carlos calling himself daddy was something new, and I couldn’t say I didn’t liked it. I leaned down, licked along his length before kissing the tip. You looked up at him, his head had fallen back, his chest was rising and falling quickly. I bought my head forward to take him into my mouth letting him hit the back of my throat immeadtiy earning a ‘’fuck princessa’’ from him.
It was hard but I could fit him. His hips were slowly bulking upwards to meet my movements.
‘’your mouth feels heavenly yn’’ carlos moaned out, letting me decide the pace. I slowly started picking it up, my head bobbing faster up and down, spit stringing down to the ground.
His breathing starts to quicken, his chest moving faster up and down as he cupped with his other hand my cheek. ‘’ I wanna cum inside you ’’ his words going straight to your core, panties already wet, thighs rubbing against eachoter.
His hips were bulking upwards as his legs started shaking, he immediately pulled me off his dick. The way he got to the last few seconds, edging himself to the limit and not wanting to cum.
‘’mhm that was hot but I have to spare it to fill that pretty pussy of yours’’ he said when he catched his breath, his cheeks were shiny red. Lips plumped and legs still shaking a bit
‘’I still need to punish you. Are You in for trying something new?’’ he smirked, I nodded. He got up and pulled my panties down, helping me to step out them.
‘’give me your hands’’ he commanded. I sticked out my both hands, he quickly tied my both wrist together with my soaked thong.
I bit my lip, If I wasn’t turned on. I would now, carlos grabbed my waist, lifting me up before walking to the pool.
‘’what are we doing? Chilli?’’ I asked, my nails digging into his skin as my legs snapped around his waist.
‘’do you trust me yn?’’ he asked, his eyes fixing on mine, he stopped walking, waiting for my answer
‘’yes ofcourse I do chilli’’ I smiled, before leaning in to give him a small kiss.
He accepted it and smiled against my lips, the kiss was soft and quick, carlos walked with me in his arms into the pool, it wasn’t that cold but the contact with the water made me softly moan. He could stand in his pool, but I obesely couldn’t…
He softly pushed me against the pool, pinning me in the pool between him and the wall. He Cupped my boob in his hand, his thumb slides over my nipple, causing it to harden and become erect. His lips moves down below my ear and begins sucking on your skin , creating a mark, his hand kneads into your tit, his thumb roughly rubbing your nipple, your breathing quickened immediately.
He pulled me a little bit up, his left knee coming up to let me sit. My boobs just a little bit above the water. His head drips down as his lips find their way to your other tit, his tongue flattens against your skin as he licks down to your nipple, his lips wrap around it as he begins sucking on the bud, while still rolling your other nipple between his finger.
‘’chilli.. please I want you inside me’’ I breath out while he sucked on my erect nipple.
One hand left my tit, his head came up when he pressed his sweet lips on mine, the kiss was hungry and rough. Tongues fighting and slightly lip biting. he slowly grabbed my tied hands, pulling me with him to the un deeper place of the pool, that was about 50 cm deep. He made me sit/ half layed. My back pressed against the edge of the pool when he got above me. I softly moaned in his mouth when I felt his dick at my entrance, him teasing with the tip at my entrance with each guide of our bodies, my hand drifted down your body as you prepared him for how tight you would be.
We both hissed as he pushed himself inside me, bottoming out until his whole dick disappeared inside me. He stretched my walls just as expected.
‘’fuck, eyes here darling’’ he muttered between the heavy breaths, one of his hands were on your throat, his finger pads digging into the skin. Making your eyes rolling back.
‘’I said eyes here princessa’’ he corrected you, his hand that’s on your neck to hold you in place when the other one rested behind you on the edge of the pool.
It was hard to hold your eyes open when carlos started to pump in and out you, already squeezing him like crazy, you both knew your didn’t gonna last long. Every time carlos pushed back in he hitted your G-spot, making you already seeing stars.
He had you under his grip, moaning at his touch and begging him to keep going. His lips kissing and pinching at your skin as loud moans escaped your mouth, his trust became harder, the water splashing around us.
Heavy breaths and moans filled the silence. Carlos leaned down, kissing your neck slightly. Not slowing his pace.
He kissed your neck, sucking a bruise under your ear before whispering
‘fuiste hecho para mi’’ you were made for me.
You got goosebumps, the knot in your belly grewed bigger and bigger, your walls clenching around carlos, finger pads digging into his shoulders
‘’carlos im gonna cum..’’ you moaned out, almost whining. His dick constantly hitting your G-spot when he fastened his pace.
‘’let it go princessa’’ he whispered, well moaning in your ear. And that was enough to send you over the edge, moaning carlos his name, nails digging into his skin as your legs tried to close around carlos his hips. Your second orgasm was way intense then your first one, your body shaking slightly.
‘’you got one more princessa?’’ he asked carefully when you came back to breath. You was speechless but more then ready for him.
You gave him a small nod, he picked you, turning you around, pulling your ass up so you were on hands and knees. He quickly settled himself behind you before entering you again making you shiver, whimpers left your mouth. you were so sensitive because off the overstimulation you were feeling.
He got quickly his pace back, hitting every sweet spot inside you, your pussy clenching around him making it even tighter then it was, he spanked your ass having you jolting forward. A load moan escaped your mouth when he slapped you again, harder this time.
He spanked you one last time before his hand smoothed your skin which was now displayed a handprint, belonging to him. Carlos kissed your back softly when his hand sneaked down. Playing with your clit making you moan his name.
‘’oh baby.. so tight’’ carlos moaned, his legs started to shake against your but. His trusts became sloppier, knowing that he is close too.
Carlos his thumb still toyed with your clit, even when your wrist wrapped around his to pull him away from the overstimulation you were feeling, you were about to explode when your third orgasm washes over you it almost hurted, tears forming In your eyes, walls clenching around carlos as your body was completely shaking.
Carlos gave two powerful trusts before his orgasm approached, he moaned your name while stroking your back. ‘’you were amazing princessa..’’ he breath out before slowly pulling out you his cum dripping out you.
You letted yourself falling on the ground, totally exhausted when you came back to breath. You felt carlos picking you up, laying you down before laying a towel over you.
He leant down and gave you a kiss on your forehead.
‘’I will be right back okay?’’ he asked, you were completely off the world still trying to catch your breath.
‘’okay.’’ Your voice was quiet when carlos disappeared into his house.
You and carlos were addicted on eachoter, this was by far this was the best sex you ever had.
3 minutes passed before carlos walked back. almost chuckling at the sight of you, laying under a towel, completely blown off. Body shining from the water as your cheeks were red glowing.
‘’oh baby.. was I- .. to hard for you?’’ he asked carefully before untying your hands.
‘’it was perfect’’ you smiled, pressing a kiss onto his lips, hands still shaking.
His smile was big, but you could see that he was tired.
‘’so .. I have this’’ he gave you fresh clothes, a bra and thong and a big sweater of him.
‘’come on I will help you’’ he softly picked me up, carrying me upstairs, carlos putted me down on the toilet, making sure I peed. When I was done he helped me with brushing my teeth, before we went to bed. He gave me a sweater of his and got snacks before we watched a movie.
We both slept like babys after that.
Im not sure what I think of this part, besides the fact that this is my first time finishing a part. Is English not my first langue. Let me think what you want to see in the next part!
This is my work, and I do not consent for it to be shared to other websites platforms or apps nor can any of my original story lines re-written or continue by others, love all your support x
Should I make this a story?
#carlos sainz smut#charles leclerc smut#formula one smut#lando norris smut#max verstappen#carlos sainz x reader#daniël riccardo smut#f1 x reader#f1 smut#george russel smut#daniel ricciardo smut#pierre gasly smut#yuki tusnoda#marcus armstrong#dennis hauger#oscar piastri#arthur leclerc smut#arthur leclerc#charles leclerc x reader
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Broken horns and jealousy
Character: Andy Herrera + Vic Hughes (Station19)
Requested? Yes.
Warnings/notes: NSFW MINIRS DNI! Omegaverse au, Hybrid au, poly relationship, jealousy, sex, andy is a bull hybrid, broken horns.
Getting out the shower you walked into your bedroom smirking when you saw your naked girlfriend jerking off on the bed.
“Fuck vic” you gasp causing her smirk at you and motion you over.
“Cmere baby”
You straddle her feeling her cock slide in both if you moaning at the feeling.
“I just fucked you I cant believe you convinced me to fuck you again already” you tease but she doesn’t care simply sucking and biting at your neck moving you along her cock.
“Fuck I need you to lay down baby.”
Moving to lay down you feel her move your legs, pinning you into a mating press her hips slamming into you with a groan.
“F-fuck fuck so good” she moans her cock still so sensitive from your previous session.
You feel her rub at your clit, your eyes screwing shut at her fast pace and her thumb rubbing against your clit. Moaning load as she makes you cum. Her following after you. her knot catching with every thrust.
—
Andy wakes up to the sound of yours and Vic’s moans. Her ears drooping and stomach dropping at the knowledge that you had someone other than her in your bed once again.
“Baby..” she whines her eyes watering as her head fills with negative thoughts. Wondering if you would send her back no longer wanting her anymore.
Suddenly she hears you yell Vic’s name chanting how her dick is the best dick you ever had. That strikes a nerve. You always used to tell her that and she cant help get angry. Jealousy clouding her mind as she starts mindlessly butting against the wall.
—
The sound of banging woke you up, furrowing your brows you sat up the sound of andy yelling in pain causing you to startle up out of bed. Being careful not to wake vic who was sleeping beside you you made your way to the hall where the noise was coming from.
“Oh baby!” You coo when you see andy struggling her horns stuck in the wall from head butting it too hard.
“No! Go back to Vic i don’t need you” she mumbles struggling to pull it out.
“No baby if u pull to hard it can br-“
SNAP
“Ow!”
“Brake.” You sigh. Pulling a crying andy into your body her whole body shaking as she cries.
“Its okay baby” you coo kissing her head, checking the damage and relief flooding your body when you see its not that bad and can easily be glued back on.
“Its not okay I’m ugly now!” She whines and you shake your head kissing her softly. “No baby your still so beautiful i promise and we can fix it I promise!”
“H-how?” She mumbles through tears.
“Thats easy baby I’ll just wake Vic up and we can glue it on, yeah?” You rub her back. Frowning when she shakes her head.
“No! Don’t get Vic she can’t see my like this i wont be competition to her if she does” she crys.
You frown, “Baby.. is this why you were head butting? Because Vic was with me?” You coo when she nods hiding her face.
“Andy, baby you and vic aren’t in competition with each other… I love you both equally.”
“But… shes always here?” she questions.
“Yeah Ands,” you hear Vic from the doorway. “I’m their human mate but your their hybrid one, they can have two” she smiles joining you on the floor and rubbing her back.
“You.. have two?” She nods as if getting it into her head, before looking down sheepishly. “I ruined everything didn’t I?”
“No”
“Of course not baby”
You and vic respond at the same time.
“Cmon then lets get this horn fixed” you hold her still as Vic glues the broken piece back on wrapping it while it dries.
That night andy slept between you and vic, the two of u giving her head kisses and snuggles making sure she felt just as loved as vic in the relationship. Your heart breaking at the idea of your cute lovable baby feeling like you didnt love her anymore.
#station 19#station 19 imagines#station 19 x reader#station 19 andy#station 19 vic#andy#vic#andy herrera#vic hughes#vic x reader#vic imagines#vic smut#vic hughes x reader#vic hughes imagines#andy herrera x reader#andy herrera imagines#station 19 hybrid au#station 19 omegaverse au#bull!andy
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hey! I hope your day is going well, I was wondering if I can make a request?
Okay so the reader gets a new haircut and doesn’t like it because she thinks it’s to short (idk I’m imagining it that it’s to her shoulders) and Peter comforts and reassures her that it looks good!
u got it, anon! hope this is okay!
“I hate it so much.”
You’re staring at yourself in the mirror when the mumble falls from your lips. Tugging at your freshly cut hair, twisting and turning on the spot to see from a better angle in the hopes that it’ll make you feel better if you can see it from all sides.
In the reflection, you see Peter dump the book he’d been reading on the floor and look over at you from where he’s sprawled on your bed.
“What was that, baby?”
You know he’s heard you, his heightened senses make it near impossible for him not to, but he always gives you the chance to speak up or repeat yourself anyway.
“I said ‘m not too keen on my hair.”
Peter rolls off your comforter and walks over to you, steps light, concern nestled in his honey brown eyes. He takes his place behind you and you lean back, slotting against his chest like all the curves and soft nooks of his body have been made for you.
“You don’t like it?”
You’re quiet for a bit, contemplative, eyes burning holes into your reflection before you glance up at his.
“It’s just so…short? I don’t feel like me anymore. I didn’t realise they were going to cut so much off.”
Peter nudges your fingers away from where they’re still cruelly tugging at some strands of hair. Presses a sweet kiss to the side of your head as his warm hand clasps around your smaller one.
He sways the two of you from side to side a little. Rocking gently whilst he hums a low song you don’t quite recognise.
“Do I look like me to you?”
The doubt slips out before you have the chance to shove it back down your throat but Peter nods quickly, bringing the hand that isn’t holding yours up to brush against the slope of your jaw.
“You still look like you, bub. Still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Still my Y/N.”
You go warm, practically melting under his gentle touches and gaze. Flustered when his hand brushes against your neck tenderly and moves down to bracket the soft dip of your waist.
“It’s just a big change, hm?”
And it is a big change. A big and overwhelming change that doesn’t have an easy fix.
The thought of having to wait for your hair to grow out until you can feel like yourself again makes your eyes sting and Peter, as infuriatingly as ever, notices. Catches the wobble of your bottom lip, the watery sheen that covers your eyes.
“Oh, honey,” he spins you around when your tears begin to fall. As soon as you can’t see your reflection anymore, you find that the burning in your eyes and the weight on your chest eases.
Peter tilts your chin up with careful hands, thumbs sweeping under your eyes and brushing the wetness away.
“You still look stunning.”
“I’m scared it doesn’t suit me and I-” your voice fades into a whisper, “I was scared you’d hate it.”
If you weren’t so upset, the way Peter’s jaw drops open would be comical.
“Baby,” he murmurs, moving his hands up and against your hair, twirling some of it around his finger as he does so. “Baby, baby, baby. My love, my sweetheart, my honey-”
You giggle and Peter’s expression brightens a bit but he doesn’t stop talking, smacking kisses over your face between words.
“You are the love of my life, bub. Having shorter hair isn’t going to change that.”
Peter’s words aren’t condescending or a reprimand. Only a gentle reminder that he’ll love you come rain or shine. Something warm and fluttery blossoms in your tummy at his tone.
“I’d love you even if you decided to shave off the middle and grow out the sides like a mediaeval English monk.”
You snort at this, hitting him on the shoulder.
“Weirdo.”
Peter gasps out in mock pain, catching your hand in his and pressing a kiss to your palm before you can hit him again, “You wound me, dovey. Right here in my heart.”
He gestures to his chest a little left of centre with a pained expression and you giggle again, leaning forward shyly to press a gentle kiss to the spot over the fabric of his shirt. When you pull away, he’s gazes down at you with lovesick eyes for a few seconds before pushing his lips against the crown of your head and pulling you in for an engulfing hug.
“Better?”
You smile into his chest and nod.
“Much.”
#tasm peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker fluff#tasm x reader#tasm peter parker imagine#tasm!peter parker#tasm peter parker x reader#spiderman x reader#spiderman x you#tasm!spiderman x reader#andrew garfield spiderman x reader#peter parker one shot#peter parker oneshot#hurt/comfort
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Give me angsttttttt with aus any prmpt u pick
giving me all the free range. oh anon you know not what you unleashed. so! this is mostly based on how austin at the last minute couldn't show up to kaia's 21st birthday party. only you know as much as i like kaia, we're definitely gonna use a reader. also thank you for requesting!!
angst, “i think you expect too much from me.” - austin butler ( see also: two in love can make it )
tw: talk of cheating, but no actual cheating. angst? talk of a break up?
you had known it was a hard ask and you told yourself you weren't going to be mad. you had told yourself that it didn't matter if austin wasn't at your birthday party that you could have fun with your friends and his friends and other people. you told yourself this.
you could have told yourself this until you were blue in the face but that wouldn't have changed the reality that you found yourself in. crying in a bathroom like you were a teenager. it wasn't fair, you thought, they didn't mind him leaving filming for his birthday. they didn't mind when you needed austin to come just to spend time with you but your birthday is where they drew the line.
"what do you mean you're not going to be able to come, aus?" you ask through your tears when you call him back on facetime.
his face falls when he sees how your face looks. your eyes are bloodshot and there's snot running down your nose and your eyes are puffy. he knows that means you've been crying for longer than you're ever going to admit. his arm that isn't holding the phone reflexively tries to move like he's going to give you a hug before remembering you aren't there with him and he isn't there with you.
"i- babe- they won't let me take the two days off. florence already has to deal with her promo stuff- as much of a mess as she seems to think it's going to be and just everyone else has already asked for those days. i literally couldn't fly out even for the night." he answers, unable to actually look at you as he does. he knows what you're gonna tell him- he knows the next words out of your mouth are gonna remind him how much of a bad boyfriend he is.
"you were supposed to ask at least a month ago! when you came by for your own birthday! did you forget my birthday?" your voice is shrill and it hurts both of your ears, stinging like the hurt you feel coursing through your veins at the idea that the man you've fallen so deeply in love with forgetting something as important as this.
"i-" he starts, unsure of how to explain this like there is an explanation that can soothe the hurt written all over your face. "i didn't forget i had it on the calendar and in my phone i just- time has slipped by, i barely remember what day it is between the training and the filming and visiting you-"
"oh so visiting me is a problem now?" you cut him off, latching onto that in your anger. "i mean i know how you can fix that. you can fix that one so easy, just break up with me, no need to visit me or remember my birthday."
"y/n! that's- are you fucking kidding me with that?" austin doesn't swear a lot, usually when his emotions are heightened and it's almost as if he's just feeding off of your own emotions, drawing on them to fuel his guilt. "i didn't say that. i'm just exhausted, you get that, don't you? i've been falling asleep in my makeup chair, on the phone with you, i even fell asleep talking to zendaya and flo last week. in the middle of a conversation about you."
"what was the conversation about? about how annoying i am?" that was uncalled for, and you know it but at this point you're picking a fight to try and rile austin up, make him as sad and frustrated as you are.
"i can't tell you what it was about." it's the truth and his eyes dart to the reason why on his dresser. you notice and your eyes narrow.
"who's there-" you shake your head and move to get up from your perch on your bathtub. "you know what, butler. no, i'm not doing this. i'm not going to be the pathetic person who gets cheated on by their boyfriend after he gets to enjoy a little more fame. seriously, i didn't even believe people when they said you cheated on vanessa but apparently-"
"i think you expect too much from me!" he shouts as soon as you mention him cheating on vanessa- which he's told you he never did. to throw that in his face after he begged to go home to you. to see you and hold you while you blew out candles for your birthday is an insult that finally makes him snap. "i am trying here. i get that you can't fly out, i get that. i have the means to do this more often than you. i'm not asking you to do that but i forgot how close we were to the day, darling. i didn't mean to."
"you don't forget your partner's birthday, aus!" you yell back, wanting to throw your phone on the ground. "that's the one thing you don't forget other than an anniversary!"
"you don't think i know that! christ, babe, i literally had plans to do something on your birthday and i can't do them now." his eyes drift to the box on his dresser once again and you notice once more.
"seriously who are you looking at?" you snarl holding the phone closer to your face like that will help you see this person. "just- break up with me if you're doing something like that. stop-"
"it's your present." he says too quickly and you know it's got to be a lie. austin never answers something that quickly. "i literally have jewelry for you on my dresser."
austin never gives you jewelry for any occasion he always says you're too picky and he'd rather you show him something while you're out together than chance surprising you.
"bullshit." you spit out. "you know what- hang up austin. i don't want to hear it. i really don't just- don't talk to me until i call you. if i do any time soon."
he looks at you and looks at the box once again before sighing. "fine. i'm- i'm too exhausted to fight with you baby. i'll- i love you. no matter what, you have to know that. it's all that i can give to you."
any other time you'd smile at him quoting that song but right now? all it inspires is you hanging up without saying it back leaving austin to stare at the ring box- your ring box on his dresser.
"fuck."
#austin butler#austin butler x reader#austin butler angst#austin butler x y/n#ally's 500 follower gala#here i am back on my old tear your heart out bs again with my angst.#i actually think i did this gender neutral too!!!#i'm so proud of myself i usually struggle read hard with this!#austin butler fic#austin butler fanfic
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hi i just wanted to say thank you for writing about queerness the way that you do - it’s incredible and has been immensely helpful to me lately. like i’ve agonized over wanting a haircut and a binder and to change my pronouns and have never had the courage to do anything about it, but reading your stuff is making me want to go through with it all. i had to pause a few times as i read your most recent piece (ava’s pov of butch bea) because i was overwhelmed with relief seeing ava and bea want that stuff too. i didn’t realize wanting it could feel so freeing. like i’ve never seen queer people written like that before, and never knew i needed to see it until now. it’s helped me feel okay about wanting the aforementioned things, and also okay about not knowing what i want or how i want to be. all around your fics are so healing and enlightening as far as gender and sexuality go, and gender and sexuality aside they are also flat out masterpieces. i cannot even begin to describe how much they, as well as your other posts on the subject, mean to me. thank you so much
:) thank u!
& i will say that i have spent the better part of the last 15 or so years just vibrating around trying to figure out what makes me feel good, especially in my body & how others perceive it. which is really hard! but trying stuff rocks — i figured out i wanted top surgery but not to transition in other medical ways bc i got a binder! the peace i felt with one felt right, & then i got to explore from there. i have had … so many haircuts lol & most of them have been good! (imo everyone deserves to buzz their hair at least once & just. deal with it lmao. a rite of passage.) now i don’t give a fuck about “what side of the store” clothes are on bc i know exactly what i want clothes to fit & feel like, & i have a tailor, so i just pay more attention to fit & fabric than i do any “men’s” or “women’s” demarcations, especially when most of the places i shop are mostly just vaguely androgynous earth tones anyway lol.
(of course this is with the caveat that there’s enough safety/financial stability but) try everything! especially stuff that’s not at all permanent!
there’s no way i would know what makes me happy & peaceful now if i didn’t try stuff in the past! do i want to wear button downs & chinos & have ppl call me sir?? no i would rather pErish. but did i always know that! of course not, & i got to have the space to try how that would feel. i definitely also know that i never want people to think i’m straight (lol but ppl are stubborn); i had a weird summer bc my hair was rly long, which i loved, but then started to feel just dissonant about… occasionally a little panicked by? (in addition to some transphobic nonsense thru work, which ofc doesn’t help). but once i sat down & was like what the fuck is going on — & felt safe enough to just sit for DAYS in dysphoria to try to figure out the root of it — i was like oh ok cool, easy, i can fix this. i knew i didn’t want to cut my hair rly short again (probably never again or at least for a Long Time, i don’t like ppl thinking i’m a man), but i didn’t wanna keep it long, so i was like ok great, stupid masc bob here we come, & my hairstylist is queer & has a soft butch wife, so i was set lol. but without getting to have space for the past decade to just try things, & to learn how to sit in dysphoria thru therapy rather than just Run Away from the feeling every time, that would’ve been a lot harder to navigate. i used to be VERY adamant abt they/them pronouns but i don’t feel that way anymore, & nothing earth shattering happened or has happened, i just… don’t care. i care more abt my privacy & agency than abt disclosing identity & experience than i do a pronoun, & so i get to make that choice whenever i want, which has been rly wonderful. & getting to try things will help you learn where ur most comfortable, especially as u continue to grow & change.
& like… it’s fun! queerness is so fun! i think beas queerness is fairly ~fraught~ canonically for obvious reasons but in any universe it’s nice to just let her take a fucking breath. kiss a girl, put on a hoodie, cut your hair, take a nap by the beach. it’s not so serious, not all the time. & ava is just FUN, her queerness is so so bright. to me it’s always just seemed like she was never Not queer bc ava has so much life to live & so so much to discover abt herself & the world. she’s falling in love with everything all the time, & with Wonder! & of course that includes queerness! it’s at the center of it bc it’s who you are & who you love, but it’s also just… people, & connection. i used to write rly angsty shit abt being queer & in moments of indulgence i do still enjoy a romp ofc to flex those wow sin & hell & an orgasm being so holy muscles lol, but queerness is my everyday life, & it shows up in the soft happy places more than anywhere else.
anyway, try everything!! especially a binder (bind safely!!!!!) & pronouns, even just online or w a few of ur ppl. if there’s a word you like for your identity, try writing it somewhere or just telling a friend (i texted my best friend that i liked the word ‘dyke’ a lot after having made ‘dyke on main’ jokes abt myself for ten years … we both just laughed). & of course haircuts & clothes are so fun, & they should get to be fun!
but even beyond that (& part of why i think ppl like reading stuff i write, maybe?) is that like so much healing for me in pleasure & peace in my queerness is so tied up in those same feelings abt … everything. food! sex! moving my body! my home! small acts of service! luxury! softness! skincare! the ocean! like whew, waking up & being like this brings me quiet joy, mary oliver was RIGHT, just lets the whole world kinda shimmer. not loudly, not in any remarkable way, but eating good food & having a good beer with someone who sees you for who you are; fresh flowers in the vase; LINEN PANTS; the dog asleep at your feet — all of those things to me are both queer & holy, inextricably together in my life. my wife’s queerness is very compatible w her religion & spirituality, & that’s rly rly beautiful to get to be around. queerness is abt deep care, too, in small ways: checking up on a friend after top surgery, still masking indoors, keeping my dog on lead unless i know her recall will be perfect. it shapes every part of my life. to me the mundane is the most glorious thing, & i have figured things that i love bc, for as scary as trying stuff can be (what if people see me? what if i hate it?) — you know, the most important question: what if you love it?
#i’m a double taurus so imo butchness as its height is abt soft understated luxury#how do u give love & care to others but also to yourself!#eat good food drink good wine smoke good weed just. be In The World & have an ethic that aligns
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as many ttpd thoughts as i can coherently write down
first of all grateful for the folklore x midnights x 1989/rep sound we have going on here. i hate comparing artists but seriously the best way i can explain it is phoebe bridgers this album sounds like phoebe bridgers. not like it's a bad thing it's phoebe fucking bridgers!!!
i feel like it's so easy to call music "intimate," whether because of lyrics that feel personal or just a certain raw sound, or whatever else, but this album truly is the most intimate thing i think taylor's ever given us. i don't know what sets it apart, cuz at this point she's written plenty of deeply personal lyrics, but the way i best know how to describe it is that it truly feels like she trusts us.
anyway i'm willing to admit that this album isn't a spectacle or a revolution or game changer, and i know it won't satisfy everyone (ngl i'm scared to see what everyone else is saying bc they'll never understand Like I Do) but damn it sometimes that much is more than enough. without further adieu
fortnight
a solid vibe. i'd literally love any song with the lyric "i love you it's ruining my life"
ttpd
love that lucy and jack cameo that's about it. but really who else is gonna hold you
mbobhft
AUGGGHHH THAT HOOK. you'd think you'd be able to tell which tracks are entirely self-written but you'd never guess some of the best tracks would you? jokes on me. love the metaphor (as i tend to do), big fan of infantilizing men (no like actually)
down bad
this song was not clicking at first but it won me over with the alien abduction theme
so long london
aw fuck yeah i knew i was right to claim this one. that hook is delectable. every verse is like a juicy kiss on the mouth i love this song yOU SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WERE THE CLU
but daddy i love him
this was the point where i thought to myself "wow this album is a lot more romantic than i would've thought" which, in hindsight, idk if that can be the consensus but still--this is such a feel good happy lovely time
fresh out the slammer
evermore would love this one. yee haw
florida
i mean there was really no way for this song to be bad and damn. twas not. this is a screamer fs. how on earth they managed to make a song about fucking florida feel like this mysterious shady world that we the people are not apart of is astounding to me
guilty as sin
yas girl let your freak flag fly!!! successor to false god fr
who's afraid of little old me
oh. o,h my god. taylor. taylor r u good honey. this song is fucking batshit wild oh my god YES GIRL TELL EM i will never be the same i could end the california drought with these tear ducks holy shit im gonna go set something on fire
i can fix him
i love this bc this is literally my best friend and now they're gonna know how they look. that "woah maybe i can't" both absolutely slaps and is hilarious. also love how horny that bridge was yas girl let your freak flag fly!!
loml
oh god. lmao my ass rlly thought this album wasn't gonna be too depressing. they had me in the first half ngl. i'm not crying you're crying nahhh we're both crying and you know it. the lyrics here really popped off, like more than the rest of the album and that's saying something. bonus i remember seeing someone theorize that it was actually gonna be "loss of my life" instead of love, and while i was listening i had that in the back of my mind, but then i was like "ok no it's actually love" but then THEY WERE RIGHT and i felt so accomplished for no good reason. so if ur that person who called it, good job brother
i can do it with a broken heart
this one shocks me so good oml why is this making me wanna throw it back. with all do respect if you didn't want us to enjoy your suffering why did you make your suffering such a bop. /j that "i'm miserable and nobody knows!! :D" gives me chills but like in a good way. "try and come for my job" literally get it queen i love you
smallest man who ever lived
it's quite funny to me that literally nobody was claiming this track and then it permanently altered my brain chemistry. back at it with the hooks damn. wow this one really. this one is really sticking with me guys
the alchemy
yay the vibes are back!!!! sweet simple romance you gotta love it
clara bow
you had me at that intro. shove that guitar down my throat if u will. this is the better version of the lucky one (im not sorry.) damn "you look like Taylor Swift in this light" gets me every time i'm sorry that will never not hit
the black dog
OLD HABITS DIE SCREAAAAAMMMIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i did not expect to like this one as much as i do but i can't stop thinking about it
imgonnagetyouback
i had really mixed feelings but i literally can't dislike this song it's straight up good (also this song is so gorgeous-coded its wild)
the albatross
idk i just love this one it is so sweet to me. in the way molasses is sweet but still
chloe or sam or sophia or marcus
this melody has wriggled its way into the few folds of my brain and i don't see it leaving soon. i love me some good whimsy. fr as i'm listening to it again rn i'm realizing how good this production is. anyways bi rights
how did it end?
you know................... i was really trying to not tie her real life into any of these songs, since i really don't know that much lore + i'm not a big fan of obsessing over celebrities personal lives--relationships most of all (especially when it comes to taylor)--in general, but damn i immediately did just that with this song and.. wow. but aside from all of that oh my god welcome back to Songs On This Album That Absolutely Haunt Me
so high school
this one's kinda crazy bc damn it's such a taylor swift song but the sound is so new to her and it kind of makes me cry. but anyhow "touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" is the funniest fucking line i have ever heard in my life
i hate it here
oh wow hahhahahhahahahha taylor what the fuck :3 imagine relating to this song on an cosmic level lmfaooooo
thank you aimee
removing from irl context, putting this song next to mean genuinely makes me want to cry. like the maturity and growth both happy and sad is so evident it's like watching my child graduate
i look in people's windows
another stellar string hook thank you and goodbye. ok but fr the visual here is inherently funny
the prophecy
claiming this one for the neurodivergents
cassandra
yeah yeah drama i know but damnnnn greek mythology BANGER
peter
*taking notes* never... trust.. a man.. named..... peter.........
the bolter
she's a runner she's a track star (can you tell i've run out of things to say it's just a good fucking album)
robin
ohohoho i am an absolute SLUT for a good ode to childhood
the manuscript
now that's a story
and at last--my current rankings:
who's afraid of little old me?
so long, london
how did it end?
chloe or sam or sophia or marcus
the smallest man who ever lived
florida!!!
clara bow
the alchemy
loml
i can do it with a broken heart
the albatross
my boy only breaks his favorite toys
i look in people's windows
cassandra
fortnight
i hate it here
the black dog
but daddy i love him
thanK you aIMee
the bolter
guilty as sin?
robin
i can fix him (no really i can)
the prophecy
peter
the manuscript
so high school
fresh out the slammer
the tortured poets department
imgonnagetyouback
down bad
now i know being critical is not one of my specialties but seriously it's a solid album ok. midnights is literally my baby and it has a skip for me so
now naturally my enthusiasm for each song will potentially decrease and most certainly increase over time cuz that's how i process albums buttttttt yuh 👍
almost any other artist building an entire persona about being an emo poet would make me roll my eyes but damn it she's so right
#wow that was a lot#the tortured poets department#ttpd#taylor swift#ts#fortnight#my boy only breaks his favourite toys#mbobhft#down bad#so long london#but daddy i love him#bdilh#fresh out the slammer#florida!!!#guilty as sin#who's afraid of little old me#waolom#i can fix him (no really i can)#icfhnric#loml#i can do it with a broken heart#icdiwabh#the smallest man who ever lived#tsmwel#the alchemy#clara bow#the black dog#imgonnagetyouback#the albatross#chloe or sam or sophia or marcus
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oh my gosh how did i miss that u have overwatch matchups available???(it's a very easy answer. i am never on tumblr)
If you would be so kind as to do romantic one for me:
I am a genderfluid afab person and the only thing shorter than me is my patience. I am demisexual/demiromantic, poly, and like all genders.
I get angry really easily but hate showing it so i just end up going around in a bad mood acting like everything is ok
i have pretty bad anxiety and appreciate having someone confident enough around to help me with simple tasks(ex ordering food or speaking on the phone) but who won't make fun of me. I can also send myself into a spiral by thinking of things that stress me out. So someone who is a steady presence i always appreciate.
I enjoy all things creative. I mostly write and draw but am willing to try new things all the time.
I look at things in a very logical way. I don't like using my emotions to make decisions and i enjoy learning new things all the time. I am a naturally curious person who is always looking to expand my knowledge.
I have a mix of so many things wrong with my brain. ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression. I work really hard on them but sometimes i have days where i just struggle.
Mixed and can speak a lil bit of spanish. It isn't perfect but i can struggle my way thru most conversations.
I really like someone who is open with what i do wrong. Just tell me what i need to fix and don't make it into a whole thing. Open communication is very important to me. I don't want to feel like im walking on eggshells around them if they are too sensitive
I am a VERY determined person, once i set my mind on something i won't give up easily. I can almost be stubborn in my pursuit of goals.
I enjoy gaming, reading, watching anime/cartoons(i don't rlly like live action shows), drawing, and learning new things.
I LOVE cooking. Giving food to others and sharing a meal/snacks is a way of showing love to me. I honestly take it a bit like an insult if someone i care about isn't willing to give me a bite of food off their plate. I know it's silly so i never say anything about it or hold it against them. But to me sharing food and wanting others to experience the same good food as you is the same as saying "i love you" a million times.
I like toys and stuffed animals and cartoons and other stereotypically "childish" things. I'm not ashamed of it.. (well... usually...)
I love joking around and a good pun can get me wheezing from laughter.
I'm not much of a social person, and prefer to spend my time indoors and alone with only one or two other people. I enjoy parallel play and comfortable silences.
I hope this wasn't too much... i just can be really wordy and ramble a lot.. sorry!
I've picked out....
Zenyatta!
Definitely the calm presence you need and never ever considers making fun of you for your social anxiety.
He enjoys seeing the things you write and draw and offers genuine compliments about everything
He also encourages having direct conversations and if he ever needs to talk to you he'll get straight to the point
He thinks your determination is admirable. Just make sure you eat and drink and take breaks or else he'll get super concerned
He can't really eat any of the food you make but he wishes he could (if only to see you smile)
Expect to receive a couple stuffed animals that he saw and got because he thought of you
If you enjoy a bit of sarcastic or sassy humor then Zenyatta will definitely make you laugh (he still doesn't really understand normal jokes tho...)
Zenyatta also enjoys comfortable silence especially if he's meditating you're just doing your usual things
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“don’t get me started on the xiyao ones” but what if i really want your annotated xiyao playlist, what then 🥺
Well indeed, what then?
OK, I'm not going to go crazy here but I will give a PHILDEL Xiyao playlist breakdown and I've added a couple of non-PHILDEL bonus songs at the bottom just for u
PHILDEL Xiyao playlist
Beside You
In my house on the hill
There is room for you still
When there's nothing but dark and sound
I will be beside you
When there's nothing but the long way round
I will be beside you
This is a depressing postcanon one to me, mostly a lament.
Afraid of the Dark
Holding you close feels like a cut throat
Losing blood, the weakness of falling in love
Literally named my gigantic fix-it after this one. It's really a fairly generic song about love making you vulnerable, and I don't know that it sums up canon Xiyao as much as it does the angle I was trying to work with weakness i.e. choosing my divergence point so that events progress in such a way that JGY does need to consider the ways in which loving LXC is a vulnerability.
Dare
When my home is defenceless
The omens relentless, the Trojan Horse
Keeps its course
Your kindness preserves me
Oh, unearthly through this maze
You are my only grace
Absolutely a Temple song to me, almost them talking to each other and saying nearly the same things. That Trojan Horse (NHS) is going to destroy them both, after all.
Funeral Bell
Oh mother, I’m scared to die
Where, where do my good deeds lie?
Oh father, I’m scared to live
Takes more than I’ve got to give
Still postcanon LXC to me, depressing!
Comfort Me
‘Cause I swear when you get there you’ll belong
Sending up a flare to guide you on
Siphoning the best times that we’ve known
And spiralling their outlines in the snow
Early years Xiyao during the war, of course. Thrown together by chance and understanding and encouraging and respecting each other perfectly. Will you comfort me like someone you've chosen?
Oh Love
Oh love, believe me
Nothing ever comes to us easy
The river's never run up to meet me
Gotta find your own way down
And in this cruel storm
Love you got my back like a foghorn
Anything I lack can be reborn
Anytime you come around
But where do you turn to
Wandering the streets that have spurned you
Love, it's just that nobody's earned you
But I will never let you down
I love this one as an uplifting Xiyao song and there's a reason I stole a line from it to title the final chapter of weakness. I just love this way of expressing it—love, it's just that nobody's earned you. Because it's true, and it's not just that they deserve each other in their lives but also that they've earned each other.
A Great Wave
The moon is shifting its shape
I am under a great wave
All the sea bearing down on me
This is where I would stay to breathe
But your love took me out of the water
Enough said? Both live lives under immense pressure and have learned to live that way, but they can breathe more freely together.
Floods
Through the years we've travelled you and me
Through the seasons solar systems
I've never kept such faithful company
I always knew you'd go the distance
Faith in each other, and being there for each other! I imagine this as being LXC's perspective because he's the one who steadfastly and respectfully supports JGY in his goal of being recognised by his father.
Glorious
There's a place I go
A place I always stand alone
And need no witness to my throne
Here I say my piece
And have no need to be believed
The bridge I built will carry me
Beyond the creatures of your sea
Here I win my day
I make my kill upon the grave
And need no hero to be saved
Here the light still shines
Despite the odds and all the time
Despite the gods and their design
As I said in my other post, this is pure JGY. DESPITE THE GODS AND THEIR DESIGN
Special bonus non-PHILDEL just for u
Ava Max - Rumors
Let them talk, let them all speculate
Let's get out of here, it's getting late, it's getting late
They'll be jealous for sure when they see that I'm yours
I like the wild side, I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid
So who's gonna love you if it ain't me, baby?
Who's gonna touch you if it ain't me, baby?
The during canon internal LXC monologue one. Pls imagine this playing over the teacups scene.
Digital Daggers - Still Here
Musing through memories
Losing my grip in the gray
Numbing the senses
I feel you slipping away
Fighting to hold on
Clinging to just one more day
Love turns to ashes
With all that I wish I could say
I'd die to be where you are
I tried to be where you are
The depressing postcanon LXC one.
Eva Weel Skram - Bror
Bror
Ingen veit
Meir enn deg om frykt og håp og einsomheit
Bror
Sjå på meg
Det finns ingen enkle svar for ein som deg
Brother
No one knows
More than you about fear and hope and loneliness
Brother
Look at me
There are no simple answers for someone like you
The fix-it AU where they get to talk it out one.
Delara - Nå er det oss
Du har sett meg sånn jeg er
Du tar meg for den jeg er
Så takknemlig for at du er her
You have seen me as I am
You take me for what I am
So thankful that you're here
The generic one for fixes where they get to be together.
#ask#thatswhatsushesaid#embarrassing bonus admission is that i associate aurora's stjernestøv with them based on nothing but vibes#i didn't even watch the julekalender#du kan reise så langt du vil#du kan velge en egen vei
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Hi! I've been following you for a while (don't really remember why or when) and I love your art! I just wanted to ask:
What's your favorite and least favorite part of animation?
oh cool! thanks for sticking around for so long :) honestly, if you've been following me for some time now it might've been either bc of my fanart, oc art, or both haha
thats a big question which prompts for a big answer so here's me rambling about it below B)
when asking fave/least fave things abt animation, its hard to answer without getting in depth on a variety of things LOL. animation, as a medium and field, is very nuanced with its own concentrations so its kind of a disservice to not recognize those areas esp when the skills u learn have a lot of overlap on how it improves other areas of study
i had practice in some 2D/3D ani, storyboarding, visdev, 3D modelling. here's my general experience with all of those:
2D
fave: figuring out how movement is created, rough animation stage, analyzing and figuring out timing/spacing, esp love the fact that you are creating motion, not pretty illustrations to gawk at, seeing the entire ani come together at the end feels very rewarding
least: cleanup and colors lol, feels very time consuming. if im gonna spend time making lines clean, id rather do that with an illustration piece
3D (in maya)
fave: can rely on the program to do the heavy lifting while you do the keys and adjustments, doing 3d actually enhanced my understanding of how the body moves in motion and space and where drag, follow thru, overshoot could be applied in both 2d/3d
least: i dont get to draw :( majority of my experience in the adjustment process is looking at a mass nebula of graphs and figuring out where i fucked up or smoothing out areas and fixing it. prefer 2d since i can just redraw what looks wrong vs scavenging thru multiple graphs. also modelling the key poses can feel like it takes forever vs drawing it
storyboarding
fave: creating strong, key story beats, keeping drawings rough when possible, shorthanding drawings, researching reference for shot compositions + studying them
least: can be very hard figuring out how to fill in the gaps between certain beats, easy to become uninspired/uncertain abt a sequence drawn
visdev
fave: seeing the final piece come together, figuring out composition, blocking in values/shapes, character design, research phase/looking for references and creating moodboards
least: i hate doing backgrounds lol. complexity affects how much i'll end up dreading it. personally not a fan of working on pieces for very long. im also not a fan of constantly doing paintings/bgs as a job
3d modelling (in maya)
fave: painting the model and texturing it, uv mapping and arranging it
least: the modelling part. fuck up 1 part and you fuck up the rest, you'd have to restart from square 1 or be lucky enough that you had a previous save before the fuck up. a proper process matters a lot in saving yourself the pain and headache from fixing everything (i redid a model that i worked on for 3 wks 4 times bc of my fuck ups)
overall, as a field of study
fave: its fun getting surrounded by others who can talk the same language as you do. ive always wanted to be around people who can get as hyped up and excited over discussing and analyzing story and animation, since i didnt have that with some of my other friends or family members. i've also been able to build proficiency in variety of programs too, which is useful. working in a team project is fun if you've got the right kind of ppl and that makes the experience fun when you the project finished. i've worked on various short films for rough animation, and i always love seeing the final film/composited shot and going "i worked on that part!! look at how nice it turned out with the rest of it! whoever did the [cleans/colors/compositing] did so good!!" i think my biggest satisfaction in this field is understanding the why and how something works (i.e. why/how does this animation effectively sell its movement? what makes these boards convey strong story moments? what about this composition is so appealing? why does this story beat matter to the rest of it? why do i/what makes me care about these characters?) it can easily deter people, but this field's a huge time commitment and youre constantly evolving your own craft. it doesnt come easy to everyone, but when you start seeing your own mileage, it feels very rewarding and pays off
least: industry's hard to get into lol, its kinda like that no matter where you go and once youre graduated, the time you spend in limbo is primarily working on your portfolio and catering to studios you wanna get into. its also easy to get the impression that being a "somebody" and maintaining a reputation matters to just increase your chances and connections of getting a job. that shits hard to deal with when youre not the most extroverted person on the planet, and even if your classmates do know you, are you gonna be the one that they end up talking about constantly or regarded highly a lot? names spread within circles, and it can feel like a competition to just get yourself known. its very easy to beat yourself up over seeing other people's work too. we're desperate, we're starving, we want our work to be acknowledged and validated, we want a job that satisfies our creative needs.
this field is incredibly demanding and its more than just having fun and drawing pretty pictures when much of it is a collaborative effort for a project. the disciplines you learn will majority of the time, without a doubt, will be applied for a larger team. at the same time, what you learn has overlap into other areas too which is always fun when you have this moment of "holy shit, i get it now"
#hope that was interesting to read about lol#i have many opinions and im willing to share them :]#answered asks
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You and colby have been dating for a while now ur still a virgin but he isn't,u want him to take ur v-card so u go to the local mall with kat . "What do u think about this one" u say looking at the red,lacey with black bow ties on it. "Ooo" she says in approval so u buy it and leave "want starbies my treat" u say to kat with Colby's credit card in hand she laughs in response. U get a iced mocha frappe and she gets a peppermint mocha, u drive back to the house and Colby greets u with a warm hug nuzzling his jean in u neck pecking a kiss, u kiss him back and hand him his credit card he looks at u "what'd you buy baby " kat looks at u and throws her hands u in defense, u grab him by the neck and whisper softly "you'll see" and wink at him, he gives u a look and u go to ur room u can feel his eyes burning at ur butt he whistles in a seductive way, u guys go out to dinner with sam and kat and the dress u wore u made sure was short tight and showed alot off colby was driving you look down in his lao where his phone was sitting and he was holding ur thigh u giggle not meaning to make it loud but u see Colby has a boner he looks over at u and says what u slowly start to palm him he says "don't do that I'll cum in these pants" u giggle and look at him seductively "maybe I want that" he looks at u and says "your gonna regret this tonight" u giggle and stop palming hum he pulls over u say "you gonna kill me now" he laughs "no" "your gonna fix this baby" u look down at his now bigger boner "mhm" u say, "get on ur knees baby" volby says , u do as told , he scoots his seat back so u have room and he unzips his pants revealing his size u look at him scared he smiles and says "suck." U do as told and kitten lick his tip "ah ah don't tease" he says squirming u put in ur mouth and pumped the rest ur could fit he says "oh (y/n) u have a mouth of an angle u sure ur a virgin" u gag at his size he says "agh (y/n) do that again im gonna cum" u do so and he explodes his streams of white salty liquid u come up swallowing it all and he kisses u he zips his pants and buckles up u do the same and the car ride resumes as normal like nothing just happened.
*time skip after u eat
U and Colby drive home as soon as u get home u take ur heels off and put them down on the rack where all of the shoes go and Colby pushes u against the wall kissing u u pushed him off saying "let me change into something comfy babe" he stopped and then u yell for Colby to come up after u get in the lingerie he starts to strip and his size scares u but he says "I'll go slow baby I promise" u nod he kisses ur neck u core grows wet his hand goes down to where u need it the most and rubs u like this feeling "faster colbs" "no just enjoy what ur getting bow trust me you'll want me to go easy later" he goes down there u can feel his breath u buck ur hios up begging for more touch only for Colby to slam them down and tell u to be patient he licks amd sucks and then he days "are u ready" u nod "words baby doll" "y-yes c-colby" he puts his tip in first then his shaft u moan loud he smiles letting u adjust to his size "m-move" he does so u love the feeling earning a groan from him he keeos going u feel a burning sensation "s-stop" he stops "whats wrong baby" "m-my stomach i-it b-burns" "ohh" "then lets keep going" "w-why?" " Ur about to cum" "soo let's tart back u ready" "yeah" he continues going ina out of u "oh (y/n) ur so fuckin tight" "oh fuck" u say "SHIT!" He says "WHAT!?" "Im not wearing a condom I can't cum in u unless ur on a pill" "I am keep going baby don't stop u feel so good in me" his head drops back "ohh fuck (y/n) I'm gonna cum" "do it." I say in a daring tone his body drops limp on me he has sex sweat on him his cum dripping out he sticks two fingers inside and pulls them out and sucks them "y/n u taste so good baby" you kiss him he licks ur bottom lip and u guys fall asleep there on the bed
Ik this was short hope u liked it by my little brocklings
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Sorry this is long ash lol just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Thats all I wanted when I was by myself.
Right. I never thought I'd open up about this lol, especially to a stranger online. But I get you… I'm a really skinny black male, and where I live, people look at me as if I'm anorexic or dying from disease or something, even when I clear it up that I'm not. I constantly have to deal with my relatives telling me about my body, and it's aggravating, cuz some of them are adults, so I'm kind of forced to respect them and take everything. And that hurts, because it's not as if I suddenly lost a lot of weight or anything. I've always been like this, have been to multiple doctors and many have commented on my body not being average.
Being a black male, everyone expects me to be all gangster and macho, and being in high school at the time, that really fucked with my already present insecurities. Not to mention I was in the closet and gay. So, everything was hell. So much so that I refused to go outside for anything aside from school. I used to get in to fights with my parents just because they would want me instead of my siblings to go to the shop right around the corner lol. I was so insecure that I would go into the bathroom or my room and hide from family members visiting. It didn't help that I was a lonely kid in school, and my parents were Christian and kind of the cause for what was happening to me, so I kind of had no one to turn too. That resulted in an extremely underage me going online and seeking validation from old disgusting perverts who had no qualms taking advantage of a child. Long story short, I ended up sending a whole lot of child porn nudes to people. That was until I went on grindr and lied to this one particular man. He called out my bs and gave me some advice. Told me to delete the app.
There is a lot to this day that I still struggle with, but after disregarding everyone and focusing primarily on me, I kind of got better. I dropped out of school for my mental health. My parents didn't agree with me. But they didn't understand when I said it was breaking me. That I couldn't take it anymore. So, I took matters into my own hands. They threatened to make me homeless, but I stood my ground, and I'm glad I did, cuz If I didn't... I don't think I'd be here today.
But anyways, as I was saying. It was hard, but I started focusing and lying to myself, till the lies eventually came true. Yes, I still have those days where things are shit, but I'm much better than before.
It took 2 years for me to reconstruct myself, and if it wasn't for Larry, Twiamz, Ravon, Stan(worldofxtra), Megan the stallion, Cardi, Nicki, cupcake, Ethan Jewel and etc. I probably wouldn't have made it lol.
Oh, and I know that you're wondering what the female rappers, and Ethan had to with this lol. Well, It's simple really. They taught me to love myself. To walk my body. They gave me confidence. And stan was like a free, personal therapist lol.
I can't tell you for sure that things will get better, but what I do want you to do is continue to fight. It's okay to feel how you feel and whine, but don't let it fully consume you. There is nothing wrong with going down. Sometimes things are just way beyond fixing. But u only get one life. So, fight like hell for it. Don't worry about the others. Fuck the others. Anybody can be the star when they wear confidence like their skin.
this is probably all over the place, but its raw lol and yes, I know, I say lol a lot😒I do it when I'm anxious.
you are such a sweetheart. i really appreciate you taking the time to say all of that to me and it means a lot that you felt comfortable enough to open up like that. i know it isn’t easy. and i’m really proud of you for getting through all of that, and i’m so glad that you’re feeling better. i’m glad that those people could help you too. i haven’t thought about some of them in a really long time. i’m glad that you can love yourself, because you deserve it. you always have deserved it and you always will. and i appreciate you being so raw with me. i understand about being anxious, and it means more than i could explain that you talked to me at all.
the thing with me though is that i’m just done. i don’t really have it in me to fight like other people do. i’m not sure what it is that i’d be fighting for. i’ve already let all of this consume me, and i know that’s probably disappointing to hear, but it’s true. this is all i think about. for awhile i tried to listen to other people, to people i know care about me, and think that things would get better. but i don’t believe it anymore. not even a little bit. i know that i only get one life, and i think i’m okay with that. i don’t really think there’s anything left for me. i’ve realized that i’m just not going to have what other people have. i won’t ever be this confident and happy person, and that’s okay. i don’t have it in me to keep going anymore. i don’t believe that good things will happen, that things will change or get better. that’s just who i am. i wish i felt differently, you know?
but it’s alright. i love you. thank you for being there for me. you are going to live a beautiful life. and i am grateful that you shared all of that with me <3
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🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?
🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?
🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?
🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?
for all your OCs <3
🔪
ok so all of them but wes has dealt with that. so this is easy
Lilith- denies it happens doesn't put herself at blame and acts like nothing changed
Marr- shuts down and does a lot of stupid things to fix it but makes things worse
Am- takes all the blame feels guilty and then inflicts the same pain or what she thinks is equivalent pain upon her self
Wes- drinks. a lot.
🙈
oh this is easy they r all hiding sooo much
Lilith- the fact that she's a trans woman obvi but she is trans and queer and all that shit as Lea so that's a cop out. Hers is how she has never truly processed things. ever since she got bit the years have blurred and she doesn't know 78 from 09 well because Am had the same haircut or whatever and she thinks she's been going crazy for so long she's horrified about how bad it is
Marr - Ever since she got cursed to be unable to do the things she loves ( makeup, hair, acting, singing ) she has acted really chill about it and she knows that she hasn't done them in so long so she's fallen out of love but god when things get bad she will cry for hours after trying to sing a song. it devastates her even if parts of that curse have become regular parts of her life, like her makeup being messed up is part of her brand, some days she wants to just look classically pretty and she wants to feel like the woman she used to be and it breaks her.
Am- Context is in my world vampires acquire parts of their greatest fear and desire. for this you gotta know Am's biggest fear is dying alone and without true love. she has taken refuge in platonic bonds but oh my god the day she found out Wes was her soulmate she broke down. She was incapable of having the love of her life ever. she said she would never meet her soulmate and if she did she would kill them, but you can't kill another vampire as a vampire. it's an act only witches or humans can do. And then shit, they are best fucking friends. the worst part is Wes is bound to her until the world ends. he will never experience love that is true, and because Am is always around he's constantly subconsciously comparing his romance to how he feels for her, which is impossible to beat. she can't tell him.
Wes- he's my least fledged out little guy but oh my god he is so incapable of anything past first base and like that wasn't a part of his curse! he doesn't know what's up he just can't feel a lot of things for people man. only time he remembers being good at sex was with Am but she's probably a sex god or something. he can't figure out love and it's pissinf him off
🙊
Lilith- she seriously needs to stop talking about how she helped with jfk in bars she's gonna get arrested soon
Marr - one of these days she'll finally get someone to believe her and be sober enough to see her magic in clubs shes sooo bad at hiding being a witch
Am- WE.DONT.CARE.YOU.WERE.AT.9/11.SO WAS EVERYONE ELSE IN THSI HOUSE AM AND YOU RAN LIKE A PUSSY WHILE WE WATCHED
wes- im so sorry shut up about yr highschool band it was soooo bad u did violin covers of beetles songs
🙉
Lilith- the details of what happened to marr when she was deported and had to live in russia from 57-73. that would break her so hard.
Marr- What happened to the kids who cursed her
Am- Where her brother is ( she thinks he's dead )
Wes- that his fuckinf band sucks shit
okaaayy that was so long sorry but i'm on mobile i cant do cut :(
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first off, Stormview is so...grand and beautiful and so big my goodness what do you do with all that land???? second off, the Calm & Collected™️ brother and the Loud & Chaotic™️ sister having a reunion??? i can’t stop giggling at Percival's reaction to Elias inviting Aunt Lavinia. like he just feels so betrayed by his own son lmao. But my god, that moment where Cherie got mistaken as her mother again. that’s just a different kinds of ache right there
LUCIE AND IONA??!?!?!?!? this is so cute. and i know it’s highly unlikely to happen bc not only are they very different in status but they’re also the same sex so. ugh. society back then would be unforgiving. but i can dream they’re all living in peace and love <3
oh that sweet moment with Aunt Lavinia, “my sweet Cassie” my heart is aching and the fact that she used to exchange letters with her. god, i want to know more about that friendship. but omg, Lavinia’s reaction to Cassie calling out for the duke in her death bed has led me to believe that Percy has fucked up more than we’re lead believe. i mean, that’s her own brother, she should feel sort of protective over him right? and a lil bias? but she doesn’t. meaning, Percy probably really really hurt Cassie. so Percival, you are on my watchlist now lakslask bc lbr, if people aren’t making it easy for Anthony, why are we going to make it easy for Percy? when he quite frankly, did damage for quite a loooong time. and i mean, Cherie still not calling him as her father. Anthony was right in that extra scene huh? they’re still not on good term. no matter if he claimed her as her daughter, Cherie still can’t find it in her to forgive him. and i think once we get to see what really happened is when we can truly weigh all the odds.
the little glimpses of Anthonias™️ being Spawns of Satan™️ when they were younger i loveeee. Elias covering Anthony with a coat and saying “We’re men, we will fix it ourselves.” i’m like...honey...you’re men, you tend to ruin things first alskalskalsk but pls that was cute. these two idiots i swear. and Anthony running into the glass? *chef’s kiss* that’s probably why his braincells are a little shaken too lmao.
HUGH AND KENNETH?!?!?!? is everyone just having crushes left right and center in Stormview? Is Cupid secretly living in this place? (ha he kind of is lmao, in statue form. maybe it is the statue) but oop Hugh looking at Kenneth like, wait a minute, he cute. i love it. more of it skalskalsk
.....Pierre has a mustache?? idk why but that...kinda made me dislike him even more? it only made him look like an evil villain twirling his mustache???
ALSO ALSO. Hugh you sneaky lil bastard. I know what you’re doing whispering and teasing with Cherie and making her giggle just when the carriage doors opened. like this man KNOWS when Anthony is watching. it’s like he’s got a sixth sense when it comes to that lmao. he’s so cheeky and chaotic i love him.
Aunt Lavinia looking at Anthony like: Hmm, are we sure this man does not return Cherie’s affections? Because if the hearts in his eyes does not say enough, then the hearts floating around his head surely does. Or maybe that green dragon on his back too.
god...honestly, i don’t know why i’m still surprised by her stubbornness, i mean, it’s probably one of the traits Anthony loves about her. but with the convo with Violet (tbh, with everyone at this point), she’s actively choosing not to hear anyone. like surely Anthony's own mother saying he looked happier and freer with her has some weight to it? but alas, she’s as stubborn as she can be. and once she sets her mind of something, it will take a force, and by force i mean, everyone currently in Stormview right now.
okay, this part got me a lil confused for second. Cherie saying her feelings don’t matter because he hurt her. is it bc she still believes that love doesn’t come with pain? so she’s saying that her love doesn’t matter bc Anthony doesn’t reciprocate it? her proof being he hurt her so she still believes it’s unrequited all bc of the whole “you’re not supposed to hurt someone you love”? OR is it bc she thinks that the pain everlasting? like now that she’s hurt, she’s going to keep hurting no matter what? so even though she loves him, she’s still in pain, hence why her affections don’t matter. which does make sense for her bc this is her first heartbreak after all. and no matter how many times people tell her this isn’t forever, she doesn’t agree. honestly, it can go both ways.
also, i don’t think Anthony looked hurt bc she “went against the norm” by her expressing and outright saying he hurt her. which is implied that he looked like he’d been slapped bc she hit him through his ego. i don’t think that’s the case. i think he looked hurt bc he knows he hurt her. but her saying it, just hurts even more bc it makes it more real. and he regrets it deeply. hurting someone you love is a different kind of pain itself.
i adore her, i do. and i’m happy she’s standing her ground and trying to stand up for herself. but she definitely is still not being rational with anything. she’s driving with her emotions still and it’s going to take a long while for her to realise that this is going to hurt her even more in the long run. also, Anthony is actually a lil tamer than i expected him to be. don’t get me wrong, he’s still being Intense™️ with his words but he’s not giving out excuses or anything. he’s not disregarding her feelings either. like he’s still talking to her with respect and he really was just asking for her to let him prove himself. like, there’s no malice or threat or anything really. he’s trying his best to talk to her. but tbh, they’re talking yes, but they’re NOT Communicating™️ so much speaking so little listening ugh.
DEAR GOD NOT PIERRE. honestly, i am hanging by a thread to a point that i would rather have Cherie & Anthony be caught in a very close, no kissing or anything, but Very Close™️ for it to be proper and be seen by someone so they can get married. I would honestly take that than her saying yes to Pierre. like...i don’t know which is more torture for her at this point. a loveless marriage with Pierre, who, btw, we still don’t really know much about, his family, does he have a tempter, etc. etc.. OR a marriage of convenience with Anthony but it is guaranteed that there is love there. they will have their issues and Cherie will prolly despise him for quite some time. but i’m sure they will learn to work thru them once they’re married and Anthony will so his best prove himself that he truly does love her and be the best husband. Am i bias? of course. but i’d pick Anthony any day.
because, okay, let’s do a hypothetical and say she actually does marry Pierre, a knight (or a soldier? that’s the same thing? no?) but anyway, someone actually very below Cherie’s social status. and i know she said she doesn’t care about titles and everything but her lifestyle of having new dresses whenever she wants, new jewelries, all these extravagant things, i mean she’s a duke’s daughter, and someone who is, quite frankly, very spoiled. do we really think Pierre can provided all that for her? she’s not marrying him for love, so that part of her happiness is already chucked away. but then, she can’t even find any solace in her love to dress up anymore bc, well, they probably can’t afford it in the way that she’s used to. not to mention, going back to Paris, that would be really bittersweet with all her memories with her mother. but then, she’s so far away from everyone else. sure, she’s going to be far from Anthony, even tho that won’t really make her happy. but what about Elias, Cece, Percy, Eloise, the bridgertons??? just everyone she cares about and whether we like it or not, they are the only family she’s got left and she’s just getting used to this new family of hers and growing to love them but then she’s just going to get...taken away so suddenly once she gets married? so it’s just....it’s a different kind of torture for her i will tell you.
i wonder what Cece and Elias will say once they find out that Cherie is wanting to marry Pierre. i bet once Elias finds out you’ll just...never see Pierre again and then Ellias is going to say “Oh Pierre has gone back to France for business” when Elias himself actually shipped him back there on his own accord like no you are never marrying my sister. you are not taking her away from me ever again lmao.
Sigh™️ i can’t help but agree with Anthony on this. her marrying Pierre will not change anything. it will probably only hurt her even more. bc every time she looks at Pierre now, she’s going to be longing for Anthony. and Pierre will be like that constant reminder to everything. she’s marrying Pierre for all the wrong reasons, so when she looks at him, all she will be reminded of is that time of her first heartbreak, her losing Anthony, her first love, and all the things she could have had, that fairytale and how he got stolen like. idk about you but that’s not the best thing to be reminded of when you take a look at your marriage.
it’s quite funny but also frustrating how Anthony is basically confessing but, also not confessing? like he’s saying all these words that can only be interpreted as him having feelings for her?
Exhibit A: Anthony practically having a motherfucking Breakdown™️ the second she mentioned marrying Pierre.
Exhibit B: “There is no church, no matrimony, and certainly no country that can keep me away from you.”
Exhibit C: “No one else can hold your heart just like no one else can hold mine.”
Exhibit D: “We will stay each other’s prisoner, until the end of time.” meaning, both of them, meaning, Anthony too.
and tbh, i don’t know if him saying outright “I love you” would change much either bc she still won’t believe him. i mean, Cherie saying, “I may be your prisoner” shows how she just...refuses to acknowledge any of them. she hears them, feels them, she’s just not acknowledging what any of it could possibly mean bc she’s already made up her mind the he doesn’t love her. as if this man doesn’t look troubled and heartbroken. again, it’s her stubbornness.
and i get it, he hurt her so badly, she has every right to feel angry at him. he made her not want love anymore. BUT with the way she’s going about it, she’s hurting herself too. by actually refusing to see the different perspectives in this, bc she’s already set on about the fact that Anthony doesn’t love her bc he hurt her. but, what now if she’s unconsciously hurting herself? and it’s kinda ironic how, she believes she truly does love Anthony and that’s why she would never hurt him. but, she can’t see that she’s unintentionally hurting him too. and let’s not forget, people can hurt people in different ways. so her logic about “when you love someone, you would never hurt them” is now slightly flawed don’t you think? but she’s not seeing that at all. bc she’s so focus on her feelings, her idea of love only even tho love can come in so many ways.
now, the thing is (and this is going to sound a little...mean) the idea of “love” she had in her head was way too “fairytale-like” she thinks that being in love doesn’t come with sacrifices or pain or hardship. she believes that love is all sunshine and butterflies. she believes that love should and only should come with pure happiness. her belief in love is actually very opposite to what Anthony believes love does. Anthony refused to have love in the first place bc he knows how much grief and pain it can bring. he saw it first hand. he lost sight of the fact that love can also bring good things bc he only sees the bad.
so this whole thing is just a big lesson for both of them tbh. that love can both be good and bad. it’s just a case of how strong that love is to withhold the hardships and how strong that love is that when you do feel it, it’s just that incomparable high of happiness.
can i just say that their whole convo was so intense but also so...yes??? more??? the tension??? i love??? but anyways, amazing chapter as always <3 so so obsessed with this whole thing honestly. and i believe The Maze™️ is coming up and my god i can’t wait to see what happens!! bc now that Anthony knows about her intentions of marrying Pierre, that man will do everything in his power to stop that from happening. it’s now a fact that someone will propose at the end of this wedding weekend, now come the question: is it going to be two people? if so, who she is saying yes to?
– TM Anon™️
Omg omg TM Anon darliiiing! ❤ I’m so excited! 😱😍❤
Cecily will be so overwhelmed once she realizes just how big Stormview is and the fact that she will become the lady of the house… ❤
Elias didn’t even ask him or let him know he was inviting Lavinia and her family😂
But my god, that moment where Cherie got mistaken as her mother again. that’s just a different kinds of ache right there Oh yeah❤ Like, for a second Lavinia was thrown back into the past, because Cherie looks so much like Cassandra so seeing her in Stormview…💔
Lucie and Iona would make such a cute couple! ❤❤
I feel like Cassie and Lavinia made such good friends the moment they met ❤ They’re both chaotic in different ways so they got along very well❤ And yessss, I think the divorce was really, really difficult on everyone and it changed everyone’s dynamics and relationships too💔 So Lavinia and Percy still can’t really talk about Cassie with each other 💔
Anthony was right in that extra scene huh? they’re still not on good term. no matter if he claimed her as her daughter, Cherie still can’t find it in her to forgive him. Oh yeah, he had a point back there 😏 Like, Percy or even his family doesn’t see it yet, but Anthony does know Cherie more than they think he does ❤ He knows she has so much resentment when it comes to Percy, more than anyone sees, because Cherie keeps it hidden and she does it very well, but Anthony can see right through that ❤
the little glimpses of Anthonias™ being Spawns of Satan™ when they were younger i loveeee. Oooh I love it too! And we will learn more about that! ❤
is everyone just having crushes left right and center in Stormview? Is Cupid secretly living in this place? Lolllll omg 😂❤ Told you Stormview would be chaotic 😏❤
Pierre has a mustache yes! 😂 Wait, an evil villain mustache?! 😂
Hugh is going to have so much fun this weekend 😂 Especially considering he’s very observant…😏
I think Aunt Lavinia took one look at Anthony and went like “Alright, he’s in love and something happened between them, and I will get the details” 😂
i don’t know why i’m still surprised by her stubbornness, i mean, it’s probably one of the traits Anthony loves about her. but with the convo with Violet (tbh, with everyone at this point), she’s actively choosing not to hear anyone. EXACTLY! Like, she is so focused on her own heartbreak that she can’t even see how everyone keeps implying/telling her he loves her 💔
It’s a bit of both I think! ❤ Like, she does believe Anthony doesn’t love her like she loves him, and she also thinks this pain is going to last forever and it will never stop ❤ She’s very confused and very hurt 💔
i think he looked hurt bc he knows he hurt her. but her saying it, just hurts even more bc it makes it more real. Oh yeah, definitely! ❤ Like, Anthony knows it, he even heard it from multiple people, he said it himself he hurt her but hearing it from her?
That is like an actual knife to his chest💔 And he will never forget that 💔
she’s driving with her emotions still and it’s going to take a long while for her to realise that this is going to hurt her even more in the long run. YESSS! She has always been driven by emotions only but now, it’s like all negative emotions so it hurts her a lot 💔
Anthony is trying! 😂 Or at least he was trying until she hit him with Pierre thing😂 But up until now, he was trying to be logical and calm and trying to follow what everyone told him ❤
a marriage of convenience with Anthony but it is guaranteed that there is love there. they will have their issues and Cherie will prolly despise him for quite some time. but i’m sure they will learn to work thru them once they’re married and Anthony will so his best prove himself that he truly does love her and be the best husband. Omg I can just imagine this happening! 😱❤ Like, Cherie would think it’s a marriage of convenience but it would actually be a love marriage and Anthony would do anything and everything to convince her and aaaaaaa this would be amazing?! 😱❤
i know she said she doesn’t care about titles and everything but her lifestyle of having new dresses whenever she wants, new jewelries, all these extravagant things, i mean she’s a duke’s daughter, and someone who is, quite frankly, very spoiled. do we really think Pierre can provided all that for her? This is such a good point! 😱 And I have so many ideas about this!
You’re absolutely right ❤ Cherie can say she doesn’t care about all that but that’s where she is still very naïve, because even if she believes that she doesn’t care, Cherie has never, ever been told no when it comes to luxury ❤ Back in France and now in England, she is very much used to a certain lifestyle and she is very spoiled even if she doesn’t realize it ❤ Anthony had a point when he talked about Pierre’s shortcomings and said she wouldn’t be able to get the things she wanted on a knight’s income, even if she keeps insisting it doesn’t matter to her😁
It would be extremely difficult for her to move back to France for sure 💔 Because she actually built a life in England, she has so many people she loves and if she actually goes to France just to get away from Anthony…💔
Elias would never, ever allow that, like… nope, he does NOT want to lose his sister when he just got her back 😂
And it would not be a good marriage at all! 😂 Pierre and Cherie barely know each other at this point, they didn’t even have one deep conversation😂
Omg I love all these exhibits 😂❤ AND YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT?! ❤ Like, Anthony is telling her he loves her without actually….well, telling her with those words 😂
i mean, Cherie saying, “I may be your prisoner” shows how she just...refuses to acknowledge any of them. she hears them, feels them, she’s just not acknowledging what any of it could possibly mean bc she’s already made up her mind the he doesn’t love her. THIS! THIS!
Exactly! ❤ She is so convinced that he doesn’t love her, so no matter what he says or what anyone else says, she will not even think about what the implication behind those words may be ❤
I feel like it would make her think differently if Anthony actually told her he loves her, that he is in love with her but…❤
They’re both hurting each other and themselves so badly at this point 💔
she believes that love should and only should come with pure happiness. her belief in love is actually very opposite to what Anthony believes love does. Anthony refused to have love in the first place bc he knows how much grief and pain it can bring. he saw it first hand. he lost sight of the fact that love can also bring good things bc he only sees the bad. Omg this is such a good analysis and I agree completely!
It doesn’t sound mean at all btw, it’s totally true ❤ Cherie’s understanding of love was very fairytale-like ❤ She idealized it while Anthony saw it as a threat, so they were both on different ends, extreme ends ❤ And now they’re both learning to like… see it from the other person’s perspective, in a way ❤ There is a common ground there, they just need to get there first ❤
The Maze is comiiiing! ❤😍 Omg I’m so excited for it like, I can hardly wait ❤ I really hope you will like it! ❤❤
TM anon ILYSM! You’re so wonderful and you made my day with this, thank you so so so much! ❤❤❤
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Oh Venus honey, sweetheart, my straps are much bigger than your little toy. 5 is a good starting point to work you up from, starting at my fingers, then to that and ending with you split open on my favourite 10 inch dragon strap.
I'll make sure to leave every bruise, bite and hickey I can, paint you with such lovely displays of affection and need. Pretty shooting star marks from where my hands have held your thighs back and kept you pressed beneath me, and it's a shame no one has gone down on you yet, but it's a shame I would love to correct, make you sit your pretty little cunt on my face and maybe let one of those other tall anons make use of your mouth.
t...ten inches?? ten inch... dr...dragon strap?? :o i cannot even begin 2 imagine wat that looks like... n i wish i could bc... that sounds... beyond wonderful... (/ω＼) def not an easy fit but 4 u?? i would luv 2 try!! ^u^
hehe i am the colour of paper!! snow!! other very white things!! n consequently even grazing me with ur fingers will leave a mark!! which is perfect cuz i want u to mark me up so bad <3 i have... never been given hickies of any sort in my life either so u'd get to b my first in all kinds of ways!! ^u^ how lucky!! hah... i've always imagined havin sum1 (u now) go down on me would feel gud but... alas i have no idea of what it'd actually b like!! all of my knowledge comes from the internet n listenin to what my friends say unfortunately :<
btw i have a nasty gag reflex but hopefully u can fix that too!! ^^;
#me vs not trying to seduce cor badly#im losin the battle#my only charm point is bein a little bit stupid at all times#but cor#just kno#i want u i need u i desire u#cor my beloved <3#chit chats!
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