#also sometimes when i post on tumblr i get a lot of creepy people messaging me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bravo4iscool · 5 months

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girl, I’m not gonna lie to you, I have some free time, and sometimes I really like to use it uselessly. and I found your ig account, then I did some other research and I found a lot about you and your family, so I could really rate you. And yes, I can say properly: you’re ugly.

now, you're kinda right, I give you that. some fit guys do like fat women, maybe one guy out of ten. but these are REALLY PRETTY WOMEN, 'cause I don’t deny that there are beautiful fat women, but they are usually rare, and that’s definitely not you.

I’m not seeking validation wtfff has nothing to do with anything, girl… you seem stupid. I just really found your behavior hilarious. like, how the false illusion of the new age got you, making you really believe in fairy tales. I mean, you're clearly so insecure, trying to pass as “I’m fine with my weight” while really trying to convince yourself that you’re desirable. and like, you’re not 😭 and it’s so fun when you talk about validation, because, you see, I may be petty or bitter or mean, or whatever it is. but, if you really felt confident, pretty, and good about yourself, you would just turn off the anon or ignore me. but no, you’re here, writing answers so you can post and be consoled. that’s how I know you feel pathetic and horrible about yourself, and need these other weirdos to help you fool yourself. you can ignore me, or reply me, it won’t make difference. you too fucking transparent, so easy to read.

or you wouldn’t be doing headcanons of really fit men attracted to you, because if you were desirable and if you really felt that way, you would just know, and not try to reaffirm yourself along with other equally UGLY FAT GIRLS. the main thing here is how out of touch you are with reality. close the tumblr, go to a nice spot in your town, where you KNOW there are hot guys, and please record yourself being chosen by them. if you're so sure of yourself. and open your instagram account, since you have nothing to hide and being ashamed. I mean, you’re pretty right? lol

y’know i’m not doing this cuz i’m insecure💀 also, i never said those hc’s were about me LMAO. i’m very aware that he and every other cod character is fucking fictional💀. this is just my hobby😗✌🏼.

also, why are you so keen about finding out about my personal life? wtf do i have to do with you? it’s fucking creepy to stalk my ig and all that💀. who tf do you think you are?

the only one being pathetic here is you, because you’re out here insulting me via anon haha. at least grow the balls to confront me correctly lol.

but yk, your stupidity and insecurity is pretty hard to ignore. you can have your opinion about me but let me be. i didn’t ask you for it lmao. also, i couldn’t care less about your opinion. you can think i’m ugly, idgaf, but stop annoying me with it.

and idk if you know but talking down on other people has to do with one’s insecurities, so maybe you’re the insecure one here😘.

and yes, i’m fine with my weight. i’ve come to terms with it, since i can’t change it without a medical intervention. is it so hard to believe that someone overweight actually accepts that fact or what? it says that says a lot about you actually.

also, i’m posting this so people can see that there are, unfortunately, still people with the iq of a fucking brick out there. i couldn’t care less about what they tell me. as i said, i’m perfectly fine on my own.

i’m actually laughing writing this because i won’t ignore you. people like you should rethink their life choices ngl.

you’re going crazy over a tumblr post and start to insult me as fat and ugly and you started to fucking stalk me. you’re being the prime example for insecurity rn💀.

your messages can get as long as you want them to be, i will respond to them because it’s sad people still think like you.

there are people out there saying all things about cod or ghost or whoever. if i don’t like them, i scroll, but i don’t start insulting and stalking the author of that post/headcanon/fic or whatever.

grow tf up and get a helmet💀.

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mhbcaps · 2 months

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pinned post

hi I'm mhb and this is jackass my cyberpunk 2077 blog! you will find virtually nothing else here and I don't tag my reblogs except to hoot and holler about the content.

about me

I'm over 21 and I live in the USA where I work in a school and play d&d a lot. I also draw, and once in a blue moon I write.

you won't find me in virtually any other 2077 spaces besides tumblr - if you want to hit me up, send me a message here 😄

my ocs

David “V” Lozano: (he/him) my canon V, a born-and-bred Heywood brawler who never really cared about being famous but god Jackie made it sound so good. He doesn’t think he can make a difference and he doesn’t really try to. It’s all about survival, and corps can wipe you out in the blink of an eye. He would’ve minded his damn business after the heist if it hadn’t been for Johnny.

He used to date Kerry but they broke up and now he's with Angel.

Sanctuary Zelenko: (they/them) Medtech washout, ex-Scav, currently a ripperdoc in Northside. They’re eccentric, they’re enigmatic, they’re downright creepy sometimes. Their friends tell people they’re harmless, but no one knows for sure. Best not to find out.

Joey Armas: (he/him) Scav who grew up homeless in Pacifica. His brother was killed in front of him by some trust fund kid testing out their new combat-grade implants--that’s probably what set him down the path that led to the cyberware and organ black market.

They're dating each other.

Viggo “Gogo” Day: (they/them) a Static of the Kessler clan along with their three brothers and a sister. They’re David’s best friend, a bright and cheerful foil to his taciturn toughness. The city hasn’t beaten the optimism out of them yet, and they have a lot of friends in surprising places who’d like to keep it that way.

Brother "Bea" Calloway: (she/her) a statuesque netrunner that’s earned herself a spot in the Afterlife’s back booths. She’s highly focused and more than a little intimidating when she’s working, but in her personal life she tends to be quite demure in contrast.

Brother is dating Gogo's older brother Augie, and Gogo is dating River.

for the others, see the full catalog here!

NPVs and presets

There are NPVs available for David and Gogo (Sanctuary is coming soon) - you can message me here or on Discord if you'd like me to send them to you! (I don't give out my Discord - that's just for anyone who shares the one 2077 server I'm in and wants to contact me there.) I do not share presets outside of Discord.

technical information (& transparency)

GPU: Nvidia GeForce GTX 1660S (I use a prebuilt that I bought from Costco in 2020, don't come at me)

I use AMM and the game's photomode to take my screenshots, along with this effect replacer mod and a modified version of this reshade preset. Facial expressions are mods by pinkydude or xbaebsae. Except for some tattoos and Sanctuary's eyes, I only use publicly available mods - anything you see in my screenshots, you can also grab for yourself. If you need help finding it don't be afraid to ask (the sims community calls this "WCIF friendly").

I occasionally will edit screenshots after the fact, usually to add text or reduce clipping but not much else. If I really fucked up the lights on one shot in a story, I'll fiddle with the color levels to match it to the others as best I can. Most of the screenshots I post are dragged straight from the folder to tumblr.

I think sometimes VP seems intimidating or impossible because it can be hard to figure out how some people get their shots looking like custom Blender setups or near-photorealistic. The answer is usually hotsampling, high-end GPUs, Otiscam, 4k texture mods, and photo editing software - sometimes all together, sometimes not. Not to say that these things are cheats or somehow invalidate the artistry behind the VP, but it IS to say that anyone can do it if they learn the tools, and those tools aren't even required. I don't use any of them. That's why I'm including this section - hopefully I can demystify VP a little. An artist's tools are only part of how they make art: having the same tools as someone else doesn't mean you'll magically make art just like them, and not having the same tools as someone else doesn't mean you'll automatically be worse at making art. At the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you love your blorbos and you think they look good.

anyway

thanks for reading

happy [day of the week]!

#pinned post

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neptune-ian · 2 months

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it is however very, very, VERY concerning and they should seek a therapist. It will do good for them emotionally and mentally speaking.

No but for real sometimes what makes me question is are these people that stupid? I've seen this controversy on yt as well about that girl/women how she explains herself to me jk's fs and that one account literally speaking how his fs is going to be an idol and is a trainee in some company/soon will audition for being an idol lol to me these people just seen to be talking about themselves like it's literally visible and what's scary is this that they are literally wanting to be an idol for marrying jk? Or being close to him!? I mean it seems like it- like do you really think being an idol or just reaching korea would make you marry him?? And what even more terrifying is how people are literally looking over their every charts to matching synastry with him to see if they are his fs... and these people are literally so overly confident that definitely they are the one speaks a lot on how these people have clearly lost their minds. First they were into tarot/psychic now they are into astrology since jk has revealed his birth time and Astrologers have posted about his fs too. Like why this obsessed? Do you really think a fs of him would waste sm of her time on Tumblr or anywhere just to see if she's his spouse like guys that's not love but obsessive behaviour with someone. Like people literally paying for people's Kofi to gain insight about BTS fs is just so creepy. And women in their 30's too being such creeps makes me so worried about their own life like do you really think it's worth it to waste your time and energy over someone who doesn't even know you exist or you deep inside know you aren't. Like suddenly some people have psychic abilities or have are into tarot/astrology just to see if jk is their fs or not (idk but I read someone before i came here there was a psychic/reader too who believed they were his fs and I'm also really kind of judgy about some accounts still (I'm not talking about any tarot reader tho). I mean I love tarot and kind of finds astrology intresting but to an extent. I think i was too judgy until I realised some people really need proper help coz their behaviour to me is just straight away creepy and the way they want such things to happen too is like idk what to even say. And the fact some people pay readers to see what would jk and their relationship will be like romantically/compatibility is straight away illogical to me. Like it's not even just BTS related i literally saw a post telling another reader that they would love to know if sunghoon from enhypen would have any message from them and would also like to receive If there's anything 18+ like girl get a grip...😀

I SAW THAT POST YOU TALKED ABOUT AT THE END OF YOUR MESSAGE!!! I WAS SPEECHLESS… LIKE, do they hoped he would say « I want to f*ck you hard » or something whereas they don’t know each other in real life? 💀😭

OH MY GOSH 🤯🙊

Just stick to your daydreams don’t seek « confirmation » through divination it is bad!

Wow… their guides witnessing it may be so disappointed… 😰

As for the kofi thing… I agree with you but as long as what is said stay there and no one gives the info here it’s fine… or else the drama would be worse. Also the fact that they PAY for it. They have that much money to waste but when it concerns homeless people and stuff there is no one. Like okay you do what you want but you are wasting so much money : for nothing. Also those people, I do think that they feel special because they know stuff other who can’t pay don’t hence why they have not shared anything. Could be the reason why some people got mad when I stoped doing readings on their fs as they thought I would do the same as the readers who do that… which is stupid.

That is very sad… if they want to know if they are his fs they can come to me, I will appreciate their money, reading for them to confirm 🤭 (just kidding 👀). They are so desperate but we can’t change them so let’s let them be.

Glad I am not that invested on celebrities’s life and just doing this for Tarot and the fun of answering interesting questions that we take with a grain of salt! 😭

#neptune’s blog #tarot blog

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is-it-accessible · 10 months

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Guide to Tumblr by a Redditor

Dashboard = feed.

Necroing is encouraged.

Puns are required. /jk

The url you created first is your primary or main blog. When you like, reply, or send messages, your primary is what people will see.

You can change the look and url, and you could delete all your posts, but anything more requires total account deletion. Tumblr likes to brigade sometimes. It's annoying when it's your primary.

There are 2 ways to use tumblr:

Throw caution to the wind and use your primary for everything. Accept that someone will brigade you for something ridiculous at some point. It's a right of passage.

Create side blogs like we made throwaways. I have a primary and this baby blog. Some people create fandom specific or meme or fashion blogs. Keep in mind you can make and delete them as much as you want, but you should be reasonable about it. Otherwise, you'll be caught by the filter.

Asks

Keep these off for now. Cuts down on brigading significantly. When sending an ask, remember the human. Also remember that tumblr isn't run by mods who've seen it all. A lot of blogs are run by 13 year olds.

Spam Filter

Tumblr can be the worst automod you've ever met. Especially when you're new, especially if you're unverified, especially if you do create 10000 side blogs.

The filter will either say, "oops! I'm glitching!" (lies) or it will outright shadowban you. To test this, write a post, tag it, then go to the tag and filter by latest. If you are not there, you're shadowbanned!

It also does this to people who post links or images, but not always. A minor form of shadowbanning is hiding your reblog in the notes.

While we're here, please do report genuine bots. Most of them use malicious links. Top right of every post.

Pinned Posts

You only get one. Choose wisely! Useful for adding info about you/your blog, kinda like a wiki. Don't feel pressured to add anything you don't like.

Liking vs Replying vs Reblogging

A like is an upvote, except everyone can see your primary. It sends good vibes. Some people get angry when they only get liked. Ignore them. Do what you want.

Replying is when you have a small addition. Try not to argue in the replies. This is considered rude. You can always @ the person in a reblog.

Reblogging shares the post to your blog. You can choose which blog at the top of the screen. You can also queue it, so it comes out later. We do this to prevent flooding people's dashboards and inboxes. (There is a debate on whether flooding is okay or not.)

Tagging

When you post or reblog, you can add any tags you want. If it is your OC, then it will show up in the sitewide tags. Supposedly, only the first 5 tags work, so make them count.

Even if you don't tag, your post could end up in the related posts, based on the content.

For reblogs, a tag is an easy way to make a side comment, or make your post searchable on your own blog. It also serves as a content warning.

When warning, tag the main word without frills. If warning for a bug, write "bugs" and "insects" and nothing else. Tumblr's filter considers these to be different things: cw bugs, tw bugs, bugs cw. Don't be a jerk, like the filter. Just write "bugs" and "insects" so people don't have to have 10 mile long filter lists.

Common cws: creepy crawlies, bedroom shit, politics, abuse, bigotry, horror, sarcasm, and unreality.

A Filter for Your Squicks

Good news! You can filter out stuff that bothers you! Look in settings for the preferences menu. Content will filter out anything that contains the word. So "hot" would filter out "eachother". Tags will filter out only the exact tags. Note: there appears to be a limit to how much you can filter.

Blocking

Happens all the time, happens for no reason, just move on. People will literally block you because the algorithm was showing them your posts too much. If you are blocked, tumblr will claim their blog does not exist, or say you cannot reblog from them. It likes the "oopsie!" approach for some reason.

On the flip side, go ahead and block! Have fun with it! We are our own moderators, here.

Blocking prevents you from seeing their posts, and they cannot reply, reblog, or see you. One exception- if someone else reblogs you, they can see it.

DNI

Means "do not interact." It's mostly a preachy statement but you should honor it as much as possible. The longer the list, especially if it mentions fandom shit, the more likely they're a brigader.

Screen shotting

Generally considered rude, associated with harassment. (If you see a "callout," this is usually code for brigading. Feel free to block the subject...or everyone involved.)

Exceptions for screen shotting tags to share a clever remark, though copy pasting is better.

I will admit that everyone loves to screenshot horrible/ridiculous people, but we all know we should at least cut the url out first.

Image Descriptions

It is nice to add these. If someone adds them to your post, copy their text and put it in the original. Alt text is preferred. Do not add alt text and an image description.

How to write one: describe the most important parts of the image. You don't want excessive detail, but you do want to get the point across. For example:

[Image: burning Elmo meme. He has the reddit snoo's face. Text, "burn, baby, burn." /end]

If it is a simple comic, describe the people involved, and name/nickname them. After that, stick with text only, unless something relevant happens. Example:

[Comic: a big bad in a suit talks to a group of people using reddit avatars. Background is a building labeled Reddit Incorporated.

Big bad: well, if you don't like it, you can just leave!

Group: okay.

Big bad: what? No! Come back here!

Group: *settles into their new space with smiles*

Reddit Inc: *becomes old and decrepit*

Big bad: oh no! /end]

For more complicated comics, use Panel 1, Panel 2, etc, and describe the whole thing.

For recognizable figures, you can say their name and what they're doing/wearing if relevant.

For art...honestly, I hate describing art. Do what you can. Say what they used (oil, pencil, digital, etc.) Say if there's a tree, or a castle. Describe the cat and the mermaid. Etc. With this one, you want to be as detailed as possible, because the whole point is to enjoy the experience.

Politics

We have all kinds here. It is more anti-ableist and anti-sexist in general. Please keep to the Reddiquette.

#reddit #reddit migration #guide #tumblr guide

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nappe-plays-the-sims · 11 months

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Alright, consider me hooked (yes, I got Tumblr just for this)

1. The brick. Someone likes breaking (4th) walls and doesn't like me?

2. The books. The same someone still warns me of danger? Also: oh my god are these all anagrams? At least tell me if they're supposed to rhyme? :D

3. I assume the loose pile of ashes in someone's house and the smashed urn on a different lot are causally connected... Also indicated by several hidden photos and *objects* in that same house. (These plants really get the best organic fertilizer on the market)

4. Some photos look VERY different in story mode than when enlarged. I wonder which version is tweaked.

5. Yonah??? (Yes, I cheated. Also, Jane looks CREEPY. I controlled her for some time though, just to make a point.)

6. Well, it's obvious where the strange weather comes from... Can't make sense of the voodoo doll and the frigging toilet yet ^^

7. Robin Banks is the character who confuses me most of all.

8. Could it be there have been two instances of pairs of sisters being confused with each other in this neighborhood?

9. How come almost every date of Inga "knows too much"? 🧐

10. Is "nouj" another anagram?

11. Does viewing a certain statue give the Sim in question a killing token or was that a bug caused by my CC?

12. Last one, I promise: Is there one single mystery where everything is tied up in? Or are there several storylines next to each other?

Lots of love and thank you so much, I'm having a blast with this!!!

Thank you so much for this message, I'm glad to hear people are having fun with the neighborhood!

I left a lot open to interpretation on purpose because I think part of the fun is seeing how different players come to different conclusions, what evidence they consider most strong, most weak etc. But of course, I have definite answers in mind. (There are some things I wish I had made clearer though... But that's for the winter project.)

The statue viewing sounds like a bug. I didn't use custom objects for Winterose since I didn't have the ability to make them. Arkhelios has more things like that however.

If it helps: I'd say there is both one single mystery and several storylines. I love anagrams. And sometimes looking outside the Latin alphabet can clarify some things.

Thank you so much for playing and do feel free to post about your journey through Winterose, I'd love to see it!

#winterose #about winterose #gif warning

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cartilagexfluid · 1 year

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hi!! i don’t wanna be weird (we’re mutuals and i don’t think what I’m about to say is actually that weird, i don’t know why i’m nervous to just message you off anon, lmao) but i started following you after my show (mcr sunrise) because of your post about it. sunrise is where i did my first half of growing up, but i’ve lived in north florida since i was 13, (other than college, but i had to come back after, and during covid). and after seeing the tags on your post earlier, again, not to be creepy, but like. i think we may have lived in the same town in north florida, or really, really close to each other. and i gotta say!!! it’s really fuckin cool seeing someone else from here. especially someone who got out. it can feel so isolating sometimes! your post still hits me really hard, and i think about it a lot, and i want you to know that sometimes i use it as a reminder that like. I’m gonna get out of here too! so like. thank you. this ask is also long as hell and you don’t have to publish it, but i just wanted to tell you! <3

hi anon um. this is so absurdly kind (and I can assure you it does not come off as weird or creepy at all - I was maybe actually secretly hoping someone would see that post and recognize it too because I love talking to people who Understand).

I guess just like yeah wow. north florida is a hell of a place to be, especially these days. I'm really glad to hear that post resonated with people because it IS such an inherently isolating experience when everyone who looks like you and everyone in your community is forced into hiding to survive. and also the like sweeping generalizations that people make about "the south" are really frustrating when there are marginalized people who are actively being harmed by the calculated bigotry that's perpetuated by those in power. it's like being erased from every angle and even to just have a few hours of visibility that isn't weaponized and relief from the fear in the form of concert where literally thousands of people are visibly in support of you and screaming the same words about carrying on and healing is everything. just getting to exist in space and take a breath from the pain is everything. even if you know it won't be the reality forever and are fighting tooth and nail to get out, as it happens it's really difficult and I hope you're able to find some pockets of joy.

plsplspls do not be afraid to reach out (my tumblr DMs should be on and my discord tag is in my about post) and thank you again for the kind message. it means more than you know. also we've probably been to at least a couple of the same shows isn't that wild?

you're not in this alone in the face of extermination say fuck you and all that y'know?

#just answer me #anon

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brett-is-afraid · 1 year

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what's your experience with rpf to create trauma??

So, the tldr of it is that I had people write rpf of me (and the trauma I experienced as a child) when I was a minor (less than 16) and send it directly to me. They harassed me with it and would create new accounts to do so.

I'll explain everything more under the cut.

Massive trigger warning for sexual abuse of a child, harassment, stalking, incest, rape, suicide baiting, mentions of abortions, transphobia/misgendering, and generally people just being fucking awful??

I'll section off the part that's extremely graphic (this is the part where I get into the details of what was actually said/done explicitly) so you can avoid it. It has bold red letters telling you when it starts and finishes.

But like, this is not light. Please don't read further if you're bothered by this kind of stuff. But do keep in mind that I've healed a lot from this experience now.

So, I have a lot of trauma from my childhood. Both sexually and just generally.

I've never really gone into details about it online because frankly I just don't want to.

But when I was about 14, I was having a really difficult time with school and my real life. So, I decided to make a Tumblr account to connect with other people. (Worst idea ever, tbh. don't have a tumblr when you're 14 lol /hj)

I'd shared some of what had happened to me in anti circles because I used to be an anti. I was never telling anybody to kill themselves or anything like that, but I made TONS of posts talking about how toxic a certain ship was and anyone who defended it was weird and creepy.

I was generally very accepted within the anti circles and I got a lot of support for my sexual abuse.

However. At the age of about 15, I switched sides. I'd always liked ships that were also problematic, so I found it easy to kind of realize that "hey what I'm doing is shitty."

And that's when the issues started.

I was 15 years old with unfiltered access to the internet. And like a lot of 15 year olds, I did a lot of stupid shit.

But mainly, I was just very vocally pro ship. I'd reblog antis posts and tell them off. I'd make tons of posts of my own. I was just generally very open and very vocal. I was very, very argumentative. Like most teenagers with trauma online are.

I would often clap back at antis who compared fiction to csa and go "well I'm a victim of csa and I'm using it to cope" and "don't compare fictional content to actual sexual abuse."

And this is where stuff kinda got bad.

A bunch of antis, some of them being people I used to be friends with, started making callout posts about me.

And in these posts, they pointed out I had experienced sexual abuse as a child. And some details got leaked. Nothing major, just the ages I was when that kind of stuff started happening, but it was still part of my trauma that got shared without my consent.

And this is when stuff really started to get bad.

At some point when I was 15, I pissed off an adult so badly that they began harassing and stalking my account. They'd send me tons of hate messages and anons. They'd make new accounts to send me more if I blocked them.

Some of these things would be "stories" they wrote about me being abused and would then send directly to me.

People, for lack of a better word, wrote rpf of my real life trauma when I was 15 years old and sent it to me. They'd write paragraphs of "stories" where I was experiencing sexual trauma, sometimes where I was enjoying what was happening to me. And they'd ask if they got it right or if I enjoyed what they wrote. A lot of times they'd say "well she must like what I wrote cause she likes to write that kinda shit."

At the time, I didn't write or engage with rpf. I was a pro shipper in regular fictional fandoms, so this wasn't even an argument.

I dealt with a loooot of transphobia back then.

Extremely graphic part coming up

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In these messages, they'd tell me to kill myself a lot. And would detail how they thought I should do it. They'd send me gore and self-harm pics. To the point where I wouldn't even look at my messages anymore.

They also told me that I deserved my sexual abuse and they'd speculate on what had actually happened. They'd speculate on who had sexually abused me and what exactly they did.

Their favorite was writing short stories (a few paragraphs in length usually) where they'd go into detail about various male figures in my life abusing me in graphic detail. And enjoying it.

They'd send me messages where they'd discuss that I "probably liked" the abuse and that's why I was pro ship.

One thing I remember stuck out in particular to me was a time when I received a message where they told me they hoped I got raped so much that I needed to keep getting abortions and it "ruined my body."

After that, I received plenty of messages where they said that I probably already had. And that they hoped it kept happening to me.

I also remember that I was told a lot, "you seem like one of those kids whose dad's used their cock as a pacifier." Like, messages like this happened A LOT. I don't know what it is that made people cling to that sentiment, but they loved it. They'd switch out 'dad' for various other male figures and would change up the statement a little. But they were in the same vein.

Like I said before, a lot of people would just speculate on the details of what happened to me too and treat it like it was some funny game.

And keep in mind, a lot of different people made posts about/towards me. This wasn't just an isolated incident.

Not all of them were as severe, but I got tagged in posts telling me to kill myself, tagged in self-harm/gore a lot.

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Extremely graphic part over

It came to a point when a person made a tumblr account where they....I guess impersonated me? It was like a mix between impersonation and parody.

They used my username at the time, just changing one word out to make it more graphic. (So, if my username was something like foxlikebox, they changed it to foxlikecocks. This was not it, this is just an example.)

And they did their bio to make it seem like they were me. And they'd post all kinds of horrible stuff "as me." (Reminder, I was like 15 years old at the time.)

They'd also screenshot ALL of my posts that they could and they'd crop/edit them to be something bad. They'd constantly reblog my posts and do this kind of thing too. But most the time, it was them screenshotting it to make it seem like I'd said something bad.

I don't remember exactly how it stopped, but one day, it did. I've since deleted that account and any traces of it. And I hope I never have to deal with that again.

Having been through that, it always feels a little ridiculous when people hit me with "well what if people were writing smut about you" because people WERE. People were writing absolutely vile stuff about me. When I was 15 years old. And I still support rpf to this day because I think it's fine as long as you're not sending that type of content to the person. (And obviously not genuinely wishing them harm, ofc.)

#brett speaks #asks #anon #i'm sure ive forgotten some parts of what happened #but this is the major gist of it

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babypuffinzoe · 2 years

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I miss seeing your cute diapered butt 🥺

Aww hehe 😋 I haven’t posted a photo of it in a while so here you go 💖

#asks #<3 #me.#babygirl.#it’s hard to find time to take pics lately #i’m packing since i will probably be moving soon #and i work too so that takes up time 😭#also sometimes when i post on tumblr i get a lot of creepy people messaging me #which can get draining sometimes so i take a break #but i’m refreshed now #bring on the creeps 😂#sorry this turned into a weird tag rant #love u all 💖

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arcadialedger · 3 years

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Please note that I am most likely leaving this platform. I am done being abused. But first? We need to have a discussion. A discussion about hate and bullying in fandom.

All online-- I encourage you to read my story below. Reblog and spread awareness. The Dragon Prince fandom especially -- I implore you read my words, every single one of them. The short of it is that I am done.

This all began with losing and being blocked by a friend because I shared something they disagreed with. I don’t care what you feel about my initial reaction to this (which I’ll explain below) -- I’ve apologized for not handling the situation correctly. But I will not be shamed for speaking my mind and standing up for myself.

Because no human being deserves to go through what I have endured since last summer.

Following the “callout” post made about me by one of, if not the largest blogs in this fandom, I received hundreds of threats, harassment messages, and death threats. Messages and posts telling me to kill myself were also prominent, on a multiple times a week basis for awhile.

Messages from people who were well aware I have struggled with being suicidal. Due to one of their favorite Dragon Prince blogs speaking out against me, they thought it was okay to suicide bait me.

And it worked. I already struggle with hating myself, am already insecure, and being flooded with these comments which, while I made mistakes, did nothing to deserve, drove me to try and take my own life after years of progress in my mental health.

Mind you, this is like a 200 follower to 4k follower power dynamic. Which yes, plays a role-- because when you have a large following and influence, you have power. Yet the person behind this had the gall to claim Tumblr clout isn’t real.

People blocking and condemning others instantly at your word? Is power. If people read your words and are influenced, or have their minds changed, or buy or don’t buy something, etc.-- you are an influencer. You have power. And when you’re one of the largest blogs in a fandom, you have a LOT of power.

So take responsibility.

I was hurt because I lost a friend who I had chatted with for months, did a podcast with, and was generally not only one of my favorite blogs but the center of my experience in the Dragon Prince. I may not have been perfect in my words, but when I was asked why I was quiet/ inactive, I explained how I was hurting, anonymously. I was understandably in pain and upset. I had been cut off for just having a different opinion on a matter, for thinking differently. Even though it was within their rights to block and do so, it felt wrong and it weighed on me.

Is that such a crime?

The callout post and previously described abuse followed, lasting for months until later in the year (this began in June, or around then). It also included screenshots of tweets, when this user does not have Tumblr, and they have stated to have screenshots stored up on their computer of my various posts and interactions. This is creepy behavior, and freaked me out. I felt like I was being stalked, “evidence” being filed away for the very purpose of being used against me.

I eventually talked things out with the blog per recommendation of my therapist, and thought all would be fine. For a little while, it was. I largely stayed off of Tumblr to heal. Once in awhile I would have a rough, tearful night because something reminded me of what I lost, but I would make it through. Overall, I was making progress.

Then? My Twitter got hacked by one of the people sending me hate. For what had turned out to be much. And after they tweeted some purposefully incriminating and bigoted things to make me look bad, I came home from a weekend in the mountains to a shitstorm.

Twitter has a love hate relationship for me and I barely opened the app unless actively chatting with a friend. So when I saw 700+ notifications, I was surprised. It had never happened before.

I began to scroll through, and when I saw what had happened, I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

I had lost over half of my followers and a solid 60% of previous Twitter mutuals had blocked me. But worst of all, I had hundreds of hate tweets directed at me replying to the hackers tweets. Messages had been sent in DMs and accounts blocked, followed, and unfollowed as well.

If you have never felt that loss of agency-- that sickening feeling of words you never said next to your profile-- be glad. Because it is traumatic. I value my words. I value what I have to say. And having that taken from me was worse than anything I had been through here on Tumblr, outside of the suicide baiting (the most direct attack to me and my emotions/ insecurities throughout this entire ordeal). Further, this hacker had clearly stalked my tweets based on some of their comments.

Hundreds of tweets bashing me, calling me aphobic slurs (knowing I am asexual mind you, as it was in my bio), making fun of my appearance and targeting all of the insecurities which lead to my first suicide attempt in high school, and taking/ editing images of my face and mocking them. This all culminated in a doxing threat-- a doxing threat which made me feel unsafe on a campus I had already been sexually assaulted on. I was once again, after starting the healing process, thrusted back into the darkest time of my life and spiraled into anxiety and depression. I cried a lot overwhelmed by it all, had difficulty sleeping, and felt sick. I started fall semester and couldn’t concentrate on school. I was a mess.

I had once again been condemned, this time for something I had no part in. I tried to example what happened but nobody listened. I had been hung without trial. People were understandably confused, and my entire reputation on the platform, and my page, became a mess of lies, misunderstandings, and more.

If you don’t know the feeling of already hating yourself and being insecure, and having these beliefs reinforced and spread by hundreds publicly across the internet? Of already feeling lonely and unwanted and having the one space you thought you had taken from you? Consider yourself lucky.

I had a lot of voice actors and creators following me-- accounts I interacted and greatly cherished my mutual with. A handful of them unfollowed, understandably. This online hate mob was sending messages to people demanding they unfollow me, including some of these creators. They had no idea what to make of this mess or what was real and true and just didn’t want to deal with it. Most of the others just stopped interacting with me. @aaronwaltke (tagging so those who don’t follow already click and do so, because he is absolutely fantastic-- he’s a writer for ToA) who had followed me on the platform, graciously wished me peace with the entire situation after I checked to make sure he had not been subjected to messages or hate, either from my hacker or other accounts. His was the greatest compassion I got on Twitter, before I ultimately ended up just having to delete.

I lost podcast deals because of this with Adrian Petriw, Aaron Ehasz, and Justin Richmond. I do not blame them one bit and would have done the same in the confusion not wanting to get dragged into anything.

Only to have one of the friends I lost who helped start this interview these very people on their own podcasts. A slap in the face. A zine I had bought to support them came to my door, with the front page proclaiming to “spread a narrative of love.”

I was never granted that chance. That compassion. I had the vultures sent after me with no mercy. And anyone who has been through online abuse and systemic harassment knows just how much it feels like they’re slowly but surely picking at your flesh ( a metaphor I used in one of my old, since deleted posts discussing the situation, and still find accurate), wearing you down until you have no strength left.

Make no mistake, my story is not a one off situation. Many share the same tale of abuse and being driven off of platforms that once gave them great joy. These attacks are coordinated, systemic, and common hobby for these people-- who largely claim to be loving and accepting of all. They are a cyberbullying phenomenon which has risen with the presence of fandom on the internet. And I want to make clear, with current discussions of “cancel culture”, I mean nothing political in that statement. Some might call my experience cancel culture, but I don’t.

It’s just bullying. It’s just hate. These people get off on ruining people’s lives.

And my life was greatly set back and ruined. I had a stain on my past in fandom I could never be rid of. I had to shut down my podcast, took time off of all social media, and most of what I had built, most of my growth, was taken from me while those who incited and/ or spread hate thrived and continued to grow and find success. That was the greatest sting of all.

I asked the one previous friend who hadn’t blocked me, but had just stopped interacting with me (which I understood and respected, and also greatly respected her perspective, help, and support though this situation in which she largely unfortunately ended up in the middle) for help after explaining everything, and got nothing. They didn’t seem to care, and just blocked me on all platforms. Once in awhile, I would find I was cut off from yet another old friend, or a blog that I had never interacted with before but clicked into, interested. It hurt being cut off, unable to fully interact with the fandom, but I could move on.

That pain would never go away, but I made clear I did not blame them for the actions of those who abused, harassed, and threatened me. I also made it clear they did not owe me anything, including unblocking.

I just wanted to move on peacefully, but those with the power to enable that did not wish to help. I slowly, when I felt ready, began to be more active on Tumblr again, and once again the hate started up.

Sometimes when I was hurting, I expressed my pain and loss to my followers just to reach out, because I was sad. I had no idea how to rebuild from all that had happened. This got me more hate an accusations of emotional manipulation and gaslighting. I had no idea what to do, and got trapped in a cycle of needing to talk about it, and getting hate and backlash, but not knowing where else I could turn.

My doxer came back into my asks, ultimately making me switch schools, and refueled the drama. Speaking up about this got me more backlash-- mostly accounts reblogging (one with tags saying “fuck you”, despite not knowing the full story, and commenting and then blocking me so I could do nothing to respond or get it off of my page. I deleted all posts of the matter, as requested by these people (who validly pointed out they were in the main fandom tags, which I hadn’t thought of and understood), and hoped to move on.

But it hasn’t stopped. I have been beaten down and emotionally bruised for months. I have had my life and safety threatened, my education and by extension life path altered, and lost work (podcast) opportunities due to this-- alongside the irreversible emotional damage from trauma and abuse. My mental health issues and insecurities-- which I have been very open about to destigmatize the subjects and encourage conversation-- were actively targeted to inflict the most pain possible.

And I can’t even talk about it, without enduring more hate and accusations of “playing the victim”.

Death threats, suicide baiting, doxing, months of bullying and harassment to the most vile degree, which a lot of these people don’t know about because they don’t even bother to read my words. Yet I’m playing the victim.

And the accusations of bigotry and being hateful hurt, because it couldn’t be further from what is in my heart. I believing in love and acceptance of all. I don’t know how many are religious here, but I found God after my first suicide attempt and that is what his word has taught me.

I’ve been through too much in life to tolerate this, for lack of a more eloquent term, bullshit. I know what abuse and victim blaming looks like when I see it. And in my 20 years of life, I have gone through too much: constant ridicule and bullying, suicide attempts, sexual assault, major spinal surgery, to just be stomped over and not stand up for my right to basis human decency.

I refuse to put up with this, so unless I get an apology and some semblance of justice for everything I have been through, I am leaving. I will not participate in a space run by hate and toxicity. I will never claim to be perfect, and I have apologized for my mistakes and wrongdoings. Now, hold those who did this accountable. If you’re reading this you know very well who it was, and I am not naming them for those who don’t. Because at the end of the day I still send nothing but love and wish no ill will towards them.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t expect accountability of one of the greatest influencers in the fandom for their complacency in abuse, threats, suicide baiting, and and absolute ruining of my life and online experience. They enabled this and were well aware they had the power to stop it-- to ask their followers to stop-- and did nothing. They didn’t care-- about a human’s life and well being.

@dragonprinceofficial, are you aware that this is what many of the fans of your show, which preaches love and an end to the cycle of vengeance, do to others? That this is happening in your space? If you stand at all by the values you preach, condemn it. @staffTumblr/ @supportTumblr-- shame on you for allowing this abuse to happen and ignoring my reports. Shame on you for permitting these people to operate in your platform and for being okay with hosting hate. People have been driven to suicide on your website-- I am one of the lucky ones.

If you care at all about humanity and stand against this behavior, reblog and spread awareness. Share my story so I may not happen to anyone else. Tag @dragonprinceofficial until they notice and speak out.

This is my story, and so many others. Make sure it doesn’t happen ever again. No human being deserves to be treated how I was. Everyone deserves compassion, decency, and respect. And everyone deserves a place in fandom. Do better. If you want to reach out to me DMs are open, as well as my email, which is attached to my account. Until this change happens and I am given the support/ help needed to safely function on this platform, this blog will not be active outside of that.

Thank you all of the many accounts who have supported me, and I am working on getting back to all who have reached out! Your love means the world. You know who you are, and I don’t want to tag in case people come after you for showing me kindness. I am sorry if this is goodbye, to all that have enjoyed my blog. I enjoyed it for a long time too. I loved sharing my passion for stories, culture, having a space where I could analyze and discuss my favorite things. I loved getting to share what I had to offer with the world, having fun and posting jokes with my unique sense of humor. I loved interacting with intelligent people/ fellow fans and discussing my favorite stories, offering each other new insights and growing together. I loved the many, many kind and wonderful people who reached out to me in a variety of ways and provided support and friendship.

In the end, it just isn’t worth all of this pain and trauma, and I know when to put my foot down. I don’t want pity, I don’t want apologizes, and I’m not a martyr. I just want my story to make a difference-- to spur positive change in fandom culture/ spaces. I will be tagging all fandoms in which I have seen this kind of abuse present as well, to reach as many as possible.

Be safe, and be kind.

- The Arcadia Ledger/ Ryn/ Katie, signing off.

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dallonm-archive · 3 years

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[image description: a cropped image of a pink sky. on the right hand side is a bunch of darker pink clouds. Just left of the centre is a full moon. In the centre, in a white serif font reads "writing update" /end id]

july writing update

Hi friends! This writing update is me pretending I did Camp Nano and didn't kinda give up a week in! I had a proper goal and everything, but a lot of things got in the way that I'm not gonna talk about here because I already ranted about it in another update I'm drafting rn. Lets just say it's Disability Pride Month and being not neurotypical or able bodied in writing communities and their inherent focus on productivity is Hard.

But I did get some writing done and wanted to do a little Camp wrap up post regardless. And I'm doing it now because I'm cancelling the last week of July for some rest/self care and I do not want to think about writing for that time and if I write a tumblr post about July Nano being over my brain will think it's actually over <3 I will probably do updates like these for most months tho! Depends on how much I write lol! This one is not too long (by my standards) and has some Revelations, Revelations, Life Cycle of Massive Stars, Nocturne for the Holy and a new wip idea 👁️

excerpts under the cut!

general taglist ; ask to be + or - ; i only have one! ; @childhoodlovers @svpphicwrites @abiandwriting @kowlazovdi @avi-why @ryns-ramblings @kitblogsthings @bijouxs @bookphobe @moonhungers @alicewestwater @bookpacking @shaelinwrites @onlyganymede @theelectricfactory @write-like-babs @oceancold @sidhewrites @wolf-oak @oasis-of-you @coffeeandcalligraphy @cecilsstorycorner @howdywrites @keira-is-writing @flip-phones @piyawrites @avakrahn @goose-books @finch-goes-write @ziyin @aphaimaniis @isherwoodj @laughtracksonata

I'm also editing this in to say I only just realised that July is my writeblr birthday month and that is very weird to me! A year and a couple days ago I impulsively turned an old blog into a place to document writing for me and ended up meeting people who now mean the world to me and my writing blossoming in a way I never thought it would. And the funny part is it doesn't feel like it's been a year, ever since I joined it's just felt like life has Always been this way and I cannot fathom that it hasn't. I'm sappy bc it's 4am lol but ultimately the friends I made (you know who you are) and the community I found is what retaught me the value of writing and helped me unlearn toxic ideas and whilst the last year was tough I wish I could tell July 2020 Dallon (who did not realise he was Dallon yet </3) what July 2021 would look like.

revelations, revelations ;

Oh the absolute state of affairs with this book rn. Nothing bad but I don't know when I'm gonna update y'all because sometimes I do not know where to start when talking about this wip lol! Currently on a break with it (but also my thesis work is on late 20th century queer lit/history rn so am ever really free of RR? <3) but had a lot of fun with it at the end of June/start of July. Anyway here's Dorothy finally revealing more of herself to me after a year. Dorothy as a character is like, I truly believe she is capable of killing a man but the story she is in just does not allow that so I am trying to grow her unhinged side a little bit in other ways bc I know she has it in her but I also really cannot deal with the plot repercussions of her actually killing a man! I'm sorry Dotty but this'll have to do!

(cw for groping/a man being creepy as hell, death/funeral mention, drug mention, drowning imagery kinda)

There’s too much to tell Felix. That his sister lives on the fringe of Castro and has attended three funerals since September; that it’s January 11th and she’s already attended one this year. That his sister drives through sunsets and imagines parties: the amber dusk, warm mosaic tiles, platters of Greek salad skewers and shrimp tostadas, and sometimes Jolie joins her and they share a blunt on the hill. That his sister bought an aquamarine body-length dress for six bucks in a thrift store sale bin, so when her and Jolie broke up for the second time, she waltzed into a sunset party, locked arms with a CEO’s son and gave him a fake number and plucked strawberries out of champagne and blended so well nobody noticed when she left. That during the summer of ’83, his sister walked a neighbour’s Golden Retriever on Wednesdays, and on the sixth Wednesday he gave her a wad of tens with one hand and palmed the back of her neck with the other, so she walked his dog to the beach and stole another hundred from his wallet. That his sister bombed an interview for a Nursing school and didn’t get home until night and missed their monthly call, and Jolie heard the phone ring and didn’t take a message, so his sister snuck into the CEO’s son’s villa and floated in the centre of their heated pool like a cloud. A pause, a breath, an Opheliean threat.

life cycle of massive stars ;

Switched to LCOMS this month because I was burnt out with RR and it made such the difference! I really love working on two novels at once because it keeps me consistently creative but also both of these books are so different so its always refreshing to bounce back into one from another. I have a whole update in the drafts rn for this so keeping this part brief but still love this book, still the best thing that has ever happened to me, me and this book will have a glorious summer wedding etc etc. These excerpts are from chapters that summarise the first semester of each character's first year and have to say it. has been Very Fun to get into the mindset of Freshers Melodrama. Here's Junie having a crisis and an unhealthy relationship with her hetero flatmate :( (alcohol cw for both excerpts)

In October you are drinking double espresso and trying to breathe normally in lectures and you are trying to figure out your favourite colour because Fleur asked and you stumbled out an answer (Purple, I think. Violet? Lavender? Indigo?) and it didn’t match hers (I like yellow. I like sunlight). You buy mugs from IKEA to paint you paint cats and fireworks and constellations and moon phases and daisies. You try to scratch paint stains off your desk. You do laundry at 2am. In October you colour code your notes with pastel highlighters. You go to the library at 3am. You paint your nails sunlight and hate it. You finish an essay that’s due in December. You knock on Fleur’s door at 8am so she makes her 9am. You wear off the shoulder tops and you let a girl dab glitter on your collarbones and you are watching Fleur kiss a boy from the neighbouring hall. You bite your sunlight nails. You break the handle off your IKEA constellation mug. You leave your keys in a lecture hall and stand at the reception for forty minutes waiting for them to realise that the keys on the desk have the moon chain you mentioned - or, you are waiting to say it yourself. You are watching the rain trail down your window. In October you get a halo headband tangled in your hair you are sipping a vampire themed cocktail that tastes like acetone you rip your heels off and you go home early and do laundry at 2am and you are waiting for the courage to tell Fleur you don’t like clubbing - or, you are waiting for her to ask where you are. In October you are many things / a good student a dancer a painter an angel a big sister an alarm clock you are nocturnal and a lucid dreamer and confused about your sexuality / and it’s still October but it’s not because it’s November now and you are still Junie but not because you don’t know who Junie is. It’s November, it’s September October November December. It’s 2016 2017 2018 2019. You are fragments and you don’t know if you are a kaleidoscope or shattered glass.

And here's first year Tomas being like I Moved Countries For University And All I Got Was Homesickness And A Crush On My Flatmate And Resurging Autistic Symptoms And This Lousy T Shirt (cw: vomit mention, injection mention, parental death mention)

Kristen is seven months younger and five inches taller than you. He’s the last flatmate you met and the only one you talk to beyond kitchen greetings and passive aggressive texts about dirty dishes. He is too quiet and too loud and not the type of person you befriend. The first night, he lost Ring of Fire and downed the concoction of Echo Falls, Dark Fruits, Jack Daniels and coke, vodka and lemonade alongside a cigarette and said he’d let God figure out the rest. He held your hair back when you threw up amaretto and held onto your knee when you first self-injected testosterone. He taught you Yorkshire dialect and you pretended to understand the Yorkshire dialect. He told you he got diagnosed at four and you told him you didn’t get past the first assessment but sometimes you flick the bathroom light on and it’s fire: the orange on the orange towel is louder, the white on the white tiles are louder, the colours and light and sink and showerhead are prickly and all you can do is blink and breathe until it fizzles out. You reminded him to take his meds and asked if you were weak for wanting to drop out and hop on the first Eurostar to Rotterdam. He reminded you to take off your binder and asked if he was robotic for not grieving his mother. You spent inky nights on the kitchen floor, counting the dead flies in the lights and scooping crumbly coconut ice cream out of a maker you got for half price in TK Maxx. You spent dusk-dusted afternoons at the global street food markets, at the vegan markets. Spent student loans on raspberry lemonade in recycled cups, veggie burgers in beetroot buns, got him hooked on poffertjes and advocaat and could’ve cried when the vendor spoke to you in Dutch. Sometimes you didn’t buy anything. Just liked hovering at stalls ambered with fairy lights, writing down Etsy stores on your notes app; just liked Kristen’s impulse to trek forty minutes into the city for a market he didn’t know existed until five minutes before; just liked how he always invited only you, cancelling your other plans last minute, the feeling of being ambushed; just liked how he stopped to take photos of dogs and the sunset; just liked how he looked haloed under lampposts waiting for Ubers, golden on golden.

This is also nearing creative nonfiction because Sheffield truly is a haven for just. vegan markets and cafes lol! I experimented with veganism there and never struggled to find something and at this point I call myself a fake vegan because it's too easy to be vegan in Sheffield and too difficult to be vegan in my actual hometown. And the global street food markets!!! SO GOOD! I miss pre pandemic days

nocturne for the holy ;

Giving her a little shout out because she does exist actually! I've figured out a really good system for working on two novels at a time, so my plan is maybe to start properly on this after I finish either RR or LCOMS. Idk I got 3 novels to pick from haha oops! I did do some free drafting back in April though and found it recently and I Like It! And I edited it so it counts as Something I Did This Month :) Also have decided that I loathe this working title <3 Okay see you with an update for this novel in like a year, sorry for the absolute zero context for this excerpt hehe

The morning I was due back, I hadn’t yet decided that this would be my last visit. I wandered between rooms like an overstayed guest, like I didn’t know which crockery lived in which cabinet and which bedroom had the best view of the overlapped hills. Dad would wake for his run in an hour, plastered to his twenty-year-old routine. Mum would pretend to be asleep until breakfast. Until then, it was myself and the house, hazed by sleepy sunrise. Downstairs. The peeling paisley wallpaper in the lounge, the lilies in the middle of the kitchen table, the vases of candy floss pink peonies wilting on every windowsill, the desolate double swing-set in the garden. The mist-clogged mornings. I stood outside in my dressing-gown until my fingertips felt numb. Upstairs. The sage coloured bathroom. The bathtub I’d laze in with my clothes on and no water because it was the quietest room in the house. The dusty dance trophies on the top of my wardrobe. Wine-flushed Jeanette in my teenage bedroom. The stale grey mum painted my teenage bedroom after I moved out. Minus their room, I stalked the layout of the house three times before settling back into bed - teenage Nora’s bed. Nora who cared for peonies and pushed her brother on the swing set and flung her ceramic ballerina at the wall and jogged with her father and collected wine bottles and acorns and kisses from girls who were supposed to visit for dance practice. Before I left, I’d have cycled each room another three times. And in every room he was there, hovered in the corner like black mould.

love this update bc it's like i've got my third person, my second person, my first person! collecting all the POVs like chaos emeralds :)

eulogy for our burnings ;

-looks away-

girl help I did it AGAIN!!!! Apparently Camp Nano is just the perfect time for me to get novel ideas. I made this post specifically to talk a bit about this because I have no idea when I'll draft it but it's certainly not soon. This is not me trying to doubt my own skill but I feel like I am not in the place I'd like to be as a writer to tackle this project with the zest it needs, however I am v excited by the prospect of it! Don't know how I feel about the working title bc I'm like "that doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about this wip to dispute it" but the only purpose my working titles serve is to sound pretty lol! But here's the tea:

1991, UK.

2nd person present + past. Very flexible form. I can't decipher how yet but I'm feeling interviews, newspaper articles, receipts, grocery store lists weaved with actual narrative, that kinda vibe.

Best summary is we follow our nameless narrator, a stealth trans man, as he becomes unhealthily obsessed with a man who "hires" him to photograph the buildings he burns

Very,,, isolated? Minimal settings, minimal characters, minimal prose etc. Almost claustrophobic

There's basically only two characters and they are probably the most morally deplorable, indefensible characters I've created which just means most of you are gonna LOVE this /lh I do too I do too

Only comp title I can give is it has the vibes/tone of Boy Parts by Eliza Clark (just with none of the nsfw content lol if you've read the book you know what I'm talking about) (also that book is great for morally deplorable women protagonists but omg look up the content warnings because it caught me off guard! enjoyed it tho gave it 4 stars)

The pinterest board is the best visualisation of the Vibes also follow me on pinterest lol

And that's all I've got today! A bigger Life Cycle of Massive Stars update coming in the next few weeks. Might do a proper intro post for Eulogy For Our Burnings but idk!!! It's a surprise :) Thank you for reading this far!

#also i have LOTS to catch up on so if u tagged me in anything im gonna do a big queue of rb's soon!#promise im not ignoring anybody!#just barely functioning <3 #atlastracking #writing update #revelations revelations #life cycle of massive stars #nocturne for the holy #eulogy for our burnings

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nastyatticman · 3 years

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If Slashers had horny Tumblrs...

What it says on the tin! HC post for if Jason, Bubba, Brahms, & Billy (Lenz) had their own tumblrs for horny content. (18+ only)

If you like these, feel free to send a request for other characters if you want :D

Contains : adult content, discussions of kink & brief mention of sexual harassment

Jason Voorhees

Very barebones bio that gives some basic info - his age, his gender/pronouns, and a warning this blog contains adult content.

Doesn’t get updated often, and it’s usually all at night. Mostly consists of content he reblogs from different creators (artists/sex workers, etc)

Don’t expect a fancy theme or anything - he only uses his phone for horny content since he shares a computer with his sweet old boomer mom.

A good mix - largely pictures people post of themselves or art he likes. Sometimes he’s in a Mood and reblogs a bunch of very specific kinky posts - text posts with affirmations from doms, risqué art, gif sets of people in gear.

He doesn’t have a huge following or anything, just a handful of mutuals and spam bots he doesn’t clear out frequently. But when he posts anything he thinks could be too intense he makes sure to tag it with warnings, just in case.

Sometimes leaves little compliments for people - he’s usually too shy to message people directly but he’ll reblog their posts and say nice things in the tags. Nothing too forward, usually things like “you look so handsome here!”

Bubba Sawyer

Makes sure not to put any identifying info but he usually puts his age/vague age range (“in my 30s”) because people ask for that.

A collection of stuff he likes, mostly pictures or gifs or the odd video or audio post.

A lot of mostly vanilla content - again, what turns him on, what he can jerk it to easily. Stuff he can focus on when he’s really trying to get off. I feel like he’s more likely to reblog a gif set of people just going at it or pictures of a hot person in lingerie or cute undies than anything with too much of a kink/fetish focus. But not always.

I’m not sure if our Bubba can read/write very well so I can’t see him reblogging or writing long text posts, but there will be a few short ones here and there.

He’s a little too nervous to post intimate pics publicly but I can see him on a very very confident day posting pics of just his hands after seeing people talk abt how they like strong hands.

Again, doesn’t write a lot, so he doesn’t add comments to reblogs or anything

He may leave nice things in tags tho! Like Jason he sometimes leaves little compliments for people whose content he reblogs (ur dress is so pretty!). Sometimes he tags things with certain emojis that seem to have some kind of meaning… a mood he’s in… or maybe they remind him of someone he likes?

Brahms Heelshire

VERY detailed very organized pinned post with info about him including a list of his kinks, and what interactions he wants/doesn’t want. Also, places to send him tribute. Not that he needs the money, of course, but he wouldn’t mind if you got him something off his wishlist. (Wink wink nudge nudge.)

I see him as a switch who leans heavily towards submissive with a bratty streak. However people tend to assume he’s more dominant since he reblogs more dom centered text posts (he’s usually imagining he’s the sub in those scenarios).

Has a decent following since he will periodically produce a lot of original content - mostly text posts, or audio, and the occasional picture where his face is obscured and no naughty bits are showing directly. He errs on the side of caution since he doesn’t want to get struck down by the tumblr nipple police, and also because are you kidding me his family has a reputation to uphold, he can’t afford to get caught

Tumblr is his main horny platform of choice because he finds it easier to organize content he likes into an archive, and there’s more privacy. He tried making an nsfw account on other platforms before, but because of linked accounts and email fuckery he got recommended to follow a family friend and nearly shat himself. (He has a good handle on privacy and he knows that person couldn’t find him - he double checked his privacy settings after that - but it still scared him off that website, at least for that purpose.)

Because he has a decent following he also has a few mutuals he’s messaged periodically. He’s varying degrees of close - some only know him from his posts, some know his main tumblr, some may even be following him on other platforms as “long distance friends”

Every once in a while debates about having his own server for his simps followers, but he’s not sure about using his discord where he keeps in touch with friends/family for it or making a new one. You’re welcome to message him if you’re mutuals or you send him some cash first ❤️

Billy Lenz

What do you mean, “horny on main”? What, like you have an alt?

His blog is like, 98% porn but every once in a while he’ll reblog a non porn post to get into an argument.

“You sure have a lot of opinions on Canadian politics for a hentai blog 🤔”

Mostly an archive of stuff he finds hot at the time, without rhyme or reason - reblogs, links to other websites, etc. mostly chaos, but it seems like every once in a while he tries to have some kind of tagging system.

He sometimes posts original content - sometimes rambling text posts about the kind of sex he wants to have, very rarely pictures of himself. that he deletes immediately after in fear of getting flagged.

When it comes to audio posts… the Moaner lives up to his name. Although he’s not skilled with recording - clearly doing it on his phone - His audios aren’t half bad if you can find them. Usually captioned with something about how he made them or what he was thinking about when he made them.

Let’s be real, canon Billy had like no concept of consent. Or just didn’t care, because he wanted to scare and intimidate people. He’s definitely been blocked by people for sending creepy messages/asks or adding unwanted captions to their posts. When he wants to hit on someone in a way that means they may reciprocate, he’s nicer, but people are still (understandably) put off by him.

At his most polite though, he’d be the type to send an ask to someone saying he hopes they come to Toronto so that he can eat their hot pink cunt and make them cum on his thick tongue and fat, juicy cock. (This is regardless of factors like their actual location, whether or not they have a cunt, or travel guidelines due to the pandemic.)

#slasher fandom #jason voorhees #bubba sawyer #brahms heelshire #billy lenz #slasher imagines #lemon #nsft #noises from the attic #first post like this im nervous #who would u follow tho? i can see myself following brahms tbh #nasty attic originals

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msmarvelouswinchester · 4 years

Text

Hello Stranger

Summary - You were going through a rough patch in your life. As you were drinking away your problems, you met with a green eyed man who acts a little too nice towards you.

Pairing - Dean x Reader

Warning - Mentions of crappy life, swearing, drinking, angst, fluff-ish, plot twist.

Word Count - 2.1k

Square Filled - One Night Stand ( @spndeanbingo ) - it is just mentioned

A/N - This is written for @impala-1979’s Words for Love challenge. My word was Viraag in Hindi. Viraag - The emotional pain of being separated from a loved one.

The divider is by the amazingly talented @talesmaniac89

This is also my 5000th post on tumblr. Woah! Also I am back to my angsty self *evil laughs*

Rolling your eyes, you check your phone for the thousandth time that evening for any message.

“Bitch,” you grumbled, thinking about how your best friend had ditched you, again. You had waited for almost two hours for your friend to show up before you decided to leave the bar at first but then you decided to stick around for a couple of drinks.

Life has been kicking you in the ass lately. Maybe staying home and binging F.R.I.E.N.D.S for the hundredth time suddenly didn't seem like a bad idea considering the girl who you had thought to be your best friend had left you alone in a bar full of drunk and horny dudes.

Staring at the glass of whiskey in front of you, you sighed aloud grabbing the attention of the man on the stool beside you.

“What's a pretty girl like you doing here all by yourself?” You looked to your right towards the source of the sound and saw a man staring at you with a creepy little smile on his face. You shuddered at the thought of answering the man.

“Not in the mood. Back off,” you grumbled, downing the glass of whiskey in one go. The sleazy person got up from his seat and stalked his way towards you.

“Fuck off,” you growled, as he placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Back off! That's my wife you're talking to,” A deep voice growled from behind the man, taking you by surprise, “Hey honey. Sorry to keep you waiting, I had to work an extra shift.”

You looked up and a freckle faced, flannel clad man staring at you with his beautiful forest green eyes. Your heart started to beat loudly as the man put a hand around your shoulder.

“Whatever dude,” the drunk grumbled and went off in another direction, probably in search of another person who can keep his bed warm for one night.

“What a creep,” you mumbled, the ominous feeling finally leaving you, “thanks for coming to my rescue.”

“No problem,” he said, removing his hands from your shoulder and taking a seat on the stool beside you, “So can I buy you a drink?” The green eyed man smiled.

“I just told that man to fuck off, what makes you think I will let you touch me?” You said, your eyes narrowing at him, “I am not your wife.”

“I don't do relationships and who said anything about touching? You look like-”

“Shit?” You joked.

“I wasn't gonna say that,” he smirked, “maybe tired was the word.”

“Gee thanks. Life's been tough, boss is an asshat, people who I thought to be my friends turned out to be nothing but snakes,” you said, signalling for a refill, “now, look at me rambling about my fucked up life to a stranger.”

“You need someone to talk to and I'm a good listener,” the man had a soft look on his face, “Name's Dean.”

“Y/N,” you smiled.

“See I am not a stranger anymore,” he chuckled.

“What am I? Four? You say your name and you're suddenly not a stranger, huh? Stranger danger, I hope you know that,” he played along.

“You're something else, you know that?” Dean smirked.

“I know. Heard that a lot. So different that no one sticks around,” you said.

“Then they don't know the real you.”

“Why are you wasting your time?” Dean tilted his head at you, confusion evident on his face, “I already told you I'm not in the mood. I just wanna get drunk tonight.”

“You seriously think that I am acting friendly just because I wanna get in your pants?” You kept quiet sending him a clear message that it was exactly what you were thinking. “You need a friend tonight and not a one night stand.”

“Why?”

“Why? I just told you the reason.”

“Dean, there are other girls in this bar who have been ogling you the whole night and giving me the side eye. Why are you wasting your night with me?” You asked.

“Because I know how it feels to hit rock bottom in your life when all you need is someone to talk to,” Dean said. You nodded slowly at the man’s words.

“What about you Dean? How's life goin’ on for you?” You asked.

“Full of crap.” He gave a dry chuckle.

You took a glass of drink and raised it, Dean mimicking your actions. “Cheers to crappy life.”

“Cheers.”

“Sometimes I think what if my life was a little different. More adventurous, more exciting,” you wondered.

“Trust me, sweetheart, this life is what you want,” Dean said, taking a sip of his drink.

You didn't realise how much time you had spent talking to the green-eyed man in front of him. You were slowly succumbing to the charm of the man and there was this nagging voice in your head telling you to get away from him as fast as possible but in your heart, you couldn't believe that Dean would have a single bad bone in his body.

“Tell me about yourself.” You asked, hoping you could find out more about him and stop being paranoid.

“My life's pretty sucky like yours, no offence,” he chuckled.

“None taken.” You giggled.

“There are days where I just wanna give up, like today but then I meet this beautiful girl who effectively makes my day better,” Dean said with a cheeky grin on his face.

“And who might be this beautiful girl?”

“She is sitting right in front of me,” he smirked, making your heart flutter in your chest. Maybe Dean was genuinely a good man.

“I am happy I could make your day better because all I did was ramble about my stupid life,” you smiled.

“You have no idea how lucky I am to see you tonight. Did I help you?”

“You did. Thank you for tonight, Dean.” You said, leaning into kissing him on the cheek.

“You thinkin’ of going back home now?” He asked politely.

“I am, considering my friend will never show up and I don't want to waste anymore of your time. You want to….come with me?” You hesitated, a little unsure about taking him to your home but you were quite surprised when he shook his head.

“I already told you that I don't wanna get into your pants. Just holding up my end of the promise,” he smiled, signalling the bartender to let him know you would be leaving, “You sure you're okay to go home alone?”

“I'll call a cab,” you said.

“I can drop you off, I have my Baby parked outside,” he said, waving his hand towards the exit.

“Baby?” You cocked your head.

“My 67 Chevy Impala, she is my Baby,” Dean beamed, puffing his chest out.

“You have a nice taste in cars, Dean,” you smiled, “but you do know this kind of feels like the start of every roadside horror movie?”

“So I got an upgrade from the creep to a psycho killer machine?” He asked, a cocky grin plastered on his face, making you shrug.

“Just sayin’. Who knows maybe you're David freaking Yaegar,” you teased.

“Why don't you get in my car and find out? Maybe it's my time to slice and dice,” Dean grinned, your eyes widening at the reference.

“You have good taste in movies too,” you said, “but let me tell you if you kill me, I will come back to haunt your ass, Mister.”

“I will gladly have a cute ghost like you haunt me my entire life,” Dean chuckled, and guided you towards the exit.

“Damn, she is one sexy car,” you let out a low whistle and saw Dean smirking at you.

“Time to slice and dice. Get inside the car now,” he chuckled.

After an hour, with proper directions, the black Chevy had come to a halt in front of your house. Dean had previously told you that he was in the town for a couple more days at the “Red Motel” with his brother.

“You sure you don't wanna-”

“Nah. I'm a man of my words, Y/N,” he flashed you a smile.

“Okay. Thank you for tonight,” you said, “You're a good man, Dean. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, handsome.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, a lump forming in his throat as he heard you call him handsome.

“Don't be a stranger if we cross paths again,” You gave him a quick hug before climbing out of the car.

He gave you a small wave as he revved up the engine. You looked as he turned his car and drove out of your place. You smiled as your mind replayed the moments from the evening. You went inside your house, closing the door behind your back.

“What?” Dean grumbled as he saw his brother staring at him, the moment he entered the motel room.

“Where the hell were you? I called you so many times,” Sam frowned at his brother who stumbled into the motel room.

“At the bar.”

“Why are you doing this?” Sam asked, “This is the third time in two weeks that you drove to this town.”

“Forgot the huge vampire nest we hunted?” He said, opening the cap of the beer bottle.

“Was it just about the case? I don't think my memory is failing me but doesn't Y/N live in this same town?” Sam raised his voice, “Did you or did you not go to the bar hoping you would meet her?”

Dean kept quiet.

“You can't do this to yourself Dean. It was your idea - you pushed her away!” It took Dean by surprise as he heard his brother yell at him. It was rare that Sam got this mad, “now you can't just waltz back into her life!”

“Sammy-”

“Don't ‘Sammy’ me, Dean. You-you did this to her, to us. Instead of dealing with the situation, you ran away from it!” Sam shoved his brother.

“I know! I know because I was the one who told Cas to erase her memories - give her a new life! I know it, Sammy. I know it better than anyone because I was the one who almost got her killed!” The green eyed hunter's voice broke at the end.

“You could have talked to her. She would have done anything to help you. It wasn't you.It was the mark.,” Sam said.

“It was still me,” he whispered, “she was the only one who could have talked me out of it but I didn't want that. This life - it's not for her, man. She deserves to have someone who is not ninety percent crap-”

“No. You don't get to say that. She was family. You shouldn't have made that decision for her,” the younger Winchester scoffed, “She would have stayed unlike you running from the problem because she loved you.”

Dean swallowed, “I loved her too. I still do but at least now she is safe….alive. She now has to deal with stupid bosses and asshole friends instead worrying about monsters, thinking about everyday to be your last.”

“Then let her go, man. Y/N’s not yours anymore. Y/N’s not your wife anymore,” Sam said, patting his brother's shoulder, “She was like a sister to me. I miss her. Everyday. I know you do too. But you gotta let her go.” Sam walked out of the room, tears pricking at his eyes.

Nursing the bottle in his hand, Dean stared at the bland wall in front of him. Closing his eyes shut, he remembered the intoxicating smell of yours entrapping him when you had hugged him, the way you were continuously playing with a loose strand of hair while talking to him. Looking down at his right arm, his left hand reached into his jeans pockets.

“I still love you, sweetheart,” he mumbled.

Twirling the wedding band between his fingers, he scoffed, “Till death do us part.”

Feedback is appreciated!

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danteinthedevildom · 3 years

Note

Okay that is VERY 😬

What is it about Twitter that make people go “yes I’m gonna be best friends with this person that barely knows I exist”

There's apparently a legit psychological thing where like. Bc we see so much of an influencer's life and personality on social media (esp. places like Twitter) fans can accidentally make a one-sided connection to the influencer.

So for instance, if an influencer talks abt all the stuff they did that day on their Twitter, you as a fan are getting a peek into their life, right? And sometimes it feels like when the influencer talks to the camera, they're talking directly to YOU. Not just the general audience.

And you're getting innundated with this stuff each day bc you follow them. So you see more and more of this person, their life, and who they are. And esp. with influencers, engagement is a BIG part of keeping fans following them - so sometimes posts are directed TO fans (e.g. the "Tell Me You Love Me" Tweet), and sometimes influencers talk abt how much their fans mean to them personally.

So it can become easy to forget, sometimes, that this is a hella one-way road. You might see a lot of them, but they see NOTHING of you. They have no idea who you are beyond the general concept of you being "a fan". And even if you're responding to their Tweets, which feels very personal to you, your message is just one in a few hundred to them.

In general, too, friendships are made bc you see someone frequently enough that you form a bond with them. You don't really see someone more frequently than you do on social media, where they're constantly posting.

So when you combine all of that together, some fans legit think they're MUCH closer to the influencer than they actually are bc psychologically all the foundations are there to suggest some form of close friendship.

I think also there's like this feeling that bc it's social media you're completely anonymous. It doesn't matter what you say bc you're safe behind the screen and an account that in no way shows who you are. Esp. with the rlly creepy account that posted the sexual stuff abt Miura; they had NOTHING to link back to who they are IRL, so it was "safe" for them to say that stuff even if they maybe wouldn't say it to his face.

(Ppl prolly also just... forget that influencers are real people. It's so easy to put them on pedestals and to think of them as Better or Higher, and then just totally dismiss that they have the same feelings and sensibilities as literally anyone else. Just bc you can't see that they're uncomfortable doesn't mean they aren't.)

Why it happens most on Twitter, tho, is I think bc that's where the influencers are. Tumblr can be bad, yeah, like don't get me wrong - it rlly CAN be. We still have fan accounts for kpop groups and ppl still melt over Dan and Phil. But there's very few actual famous USERS on Tumblr; we can't engage with them in the same way, and 9 times out of 10 they barely even know they have that following here. It's more of a fandom forum, less an influencer playground - and def. not a form of social media most influencers took seriously until semi-recently (and even that's iffy).

Twitter, meanwhile, is a social media site geared TOWARDS influencers. It's meant to be a space for them to engage with fans, post updates, and talk. This is where you find the creators; this is where they tell you abt their lives and show you what they're working on. If you want to be seen, you go there. So ofc that's where fans flock towards if they want to be seen by their favourite influencers.

The greater influencer presence means it's a lot easier to connect on places like Twitter than anywhere else. And when the site itself is meant to breed that connected mentality - meant to facilitate connections between influencer and fans... it can end up creating a problem.

(Ironically, Tumblr does still have a similar issue, just kinda parallel; ppl here treat actors the same way they treat the characters they play. So we got a HUGE Real Person Fiction community here bc we're so distant from the influencers themselves that they seem unreal.)

As a sorta tangential point: it's a lot harder to post fandom content on Twitter - in part bc it's fuckin hard to find and in part bc you'd need to split some of my posts up into like 20 billion Tweets - so it's v. different in its fandom culture than Tumblr is. Hence, predominant Tumblr users, being more geared towards creating fandom content, act a little differently towards influencers than Twitter users, being more geared towards influencer interaction.

It's something we gotta be vigillant on as fans on Twitter, tbh. Like. We are talking directly TO the person. We are treating them that way in a space that is THEIRS and that they will PHYSICALLY SEE. We have got to be inherently more respectful and careful with how we're acting.

Esp. with a fandom as small as Obey Me!. Yes, it's much bigger than other Shall We Date? games, but the VAs are still relatively small-time, personal people who are shocked by the exponential growth they've experienced during Obey Me!'s two year run. A lot of them didn't even have Twitter accounts before this point (at least, not ones they regularly used), and I believe most of them haven't engaged with overseas fans before.

They will see a lot of what is being posted. So trying to keep it as kind, warm, and respectful as possible - and making sure anyone overstepping that line knows they've done so - is imperative. Esp. with the mentality Twitter naturally breeds in relation to fans and their influencers.

#danteintherambles #Kinda long oop. I went off on one srry folks

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lilydalexf · 3 years

Photo

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sophia Jirafe

Seven of Sophia Jirafe’s fics are at Gossamer, but more of her X-Files stories are at AO3 (as sophiahelix). I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Stones and Bones. She was active in the fandom during the show’s run and has never strayed far from fandom in general. She co-founded Glass Onion, a great multi-fandom mailing list that now has nearly 1,000 fics from 100 fandoms at AO3. Big thanks to Sophia Jirafe for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It did initially, but so many old shows are on streaming now and getting discovered by new people, it makes sense.

I did get a comment from someone who said my first story under this name, posted in early 2000 when I was a college freshman, was older than her by a couple of months, and THAT took me aback.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was my first fandom, discovered when I was 17 and searching for info about the show on the school library computer, and it really shaped my whole life! I met a lot of people I still know today (mostly in non-fannish venues like FB, though I do still have some connections in fandom), and learned a lot about writing and just life generally, since I was younger than most of fandom at the time.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started off on a tiny forum at a website called Squirrel’s Nest, but I kept seeing people thanking Scullyfic in fic headers and eventually I was able to join the mailing list (which was capped to 500 members). Scullyfic was everything to me — I made friends, betas, discussed the show, learned about all kinds of things on Off-Topic Fridays, etc. A lot of those friends, I would email with or more often chat on AIM (individual or these sprawling group chats that would go on all day), and then at the end of 2001 we started migrating to Livejournal. I was getting into Buffy more by then, but it was still mostly the same crowd of people I knew from Scullyfic.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I feel like it started me on a whole life path really — finding that my deep obsession with fiction could be channeled like that and shared with other people, as well as deepening my writing. Online fandom has been a major part of my social life for over 20 years now, and I love the mix of getting excited about things with friends and also the creative outlet.

My corner of X-Files fandom in particular was just very calm and enjoyable for the most part, full of older professional women who were happy to be friends and give me advice about all kinds of things, and it really set the bar for me with my online interactions. Now I’m almost 40 and trying to be that person for my younger friends, as well as having no patience for toxicity and in-fighting in my fandom spaces.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

A combination of the creepy conspiracy angle and just adoring Scully. I remember how mysterious and fascinating the show seemed when I discovered it right before S5, and there was no way to find out more except to keep watching and hoping they explained. Scully was so smart and tough and beautiful and interesting, and as a teen I was just captivated by her (and the UST, though I didn’t care about Mulder as much).

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I ran across it a couple times early on but felt embarrassed by the concept, but then I read the first in Karen Rasch’s Words series and suddenly it clicked for me. After a while I started daydreaming my own conversations between them, very similar to what happens to me now when I’m getting into a new pairing, so after reading tons of recommended fic by big authors, I started writing my own (the 3-4 stories I posted in high school are all wiped from the internet now, though).

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Good memories, though because it was my senior year of high school and college, I know a lot of it is just tied to that time in my life, and also being in my very first fandom. I will rewatch episodes from time to time, but I basically never revisit former fandoms because they’re kind of like exes, even if I finished on a good note. I also think my taste in fic has changed (and there isn’t the same novelty of “characters I like getting together omg!”)

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

So many! None of them had quite the same combination of excellent central architecture (especially pre-AO3) and a really high level of discussion and friendliness without being enormous, but I’ve loved them all in their own ways. I’ve done fandom on LJ/DW, Tumblr, Discord, and now on Twitter, and I think I miss the mailing list days the most. You didn’t have to repeat yourself so much in multiple conversations, you weren’t character limited, and the discussion was all in one place, with personal stuff more confined to your side conversations. Discord is a little like that, but it moves too fast and there’s too much noise for my taste.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Heh, after X-Files I went through a whole phase of faves in the Scully vein — Buffy, Aeryn Sun, Kara Thrace, etc. Like many people I’ve shifted primarily into m/m in the last decade (Sherlock, YOI, and recently The Untamed have been my major fictional fandoms, along with a lot of sports RPF), but for non-fannish shows I’m always looking for awesome new female characters, like Elizabeth on the Americans, Peggy on Mad Men, Nadja on What We Do in the Shadows, etc. And I do LOVE Killing Eve and have written a little f/f over there.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I’ll rewatch favorite episodes occasionally, and I keep thinking about a full rewatch but it takes so much time! I never saw the second movie, and I didn’t finish the first of the new seasons because I was hating it, so it’s a little hard for me to think fannishly about them when I disliked basically everything after “Je Souhaite” so much (as far as I’m concerned the show ends there).

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

X-Files no, but yeah I’m still very active in fandoms.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I lost all my saved fic several computers ago, but I recall loving “Blue Christmas” by Plausible Deniability and “Diamonds and Rust” by MustangSally (obviously everything she wrote was great).

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Looking at my X-Files fic, I can’t believe how short it is and how comparatively little of it there is (I have lost track of a few ficlets). It felt like such a big deal to finish anything back then! I think my favorite remains Alphabetum, which involved a tricky structure and 5 elements given by people as part of the Scullyfic Improv challenge, where you had a week to write a story around those elements.

My favorite of my recent fic in fictional fandoms is probably the GoT/YOI crossover novel I wrote a couple years ago, for a completely opposite experience to this (and proof you can grow as a writer with a lot of effort!)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

It’s honestly hard to imagine going back (like I said, I usually don’t), but I guess I could get inspired by something.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I certainly still write, and I do have to give credit to XF fandom and Scullyfic in particular for giving me the start I got, where I really wanted to be writing good fiction. The few things I wrote in high school were just me jamming out romantic cliches, but the people I was lucky to know in XF fandom showed me that “just” fanfic can still aspire to be high quality. I am a much, much better and more disciplined writer than I was back then, but I might never have started on this path without fandom friends encouraging me.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Usually just daydreaming about emotional dynamics between characters/people, but sometimes something specific in canon or real life (I write a lot of RPF) gets me going, or maybe something I read.

What's the story behind your pen name?

When I wrote for X-Files, I picked “Sophia Jirafe” combining my favorite first name with a fancy spelling for my favorite animal (I was 18! Don’t judge!) Over on Livejournal, my friend Jintian and I initially shared an account with the same name as our website, double_helix, and when she got her own account I changed to sophia_helix, which is now sophiahelix just about everywhere. A little clunky, but I like the continuity (and I do run across old friends who remember the name).

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

The friends I’ve known for a very long time know about it, but we have never talked about it in depth. My husband, who I met not long after getting into fandom, also knows about it, and he’s encouraging and also a writer so we talk all the time. I told my mom in college and she was pretty dismissive, so we haven’t talked about it since (but my younger sister knows and is cool about it).

When I was younger, it was something I shared readily (I bonded with a new friend in law school I saw looking at LJ), but now I don’t really bring it up with new acquaintances.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I just made a Carrd the other day with all my various fannish addresses (Twitter, locked fannish Twitter, AO3, Tumblr)

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just that it really was a high quality fandom — so much excellent long casefic, so many cool down to earth people, just generally a great launching place for a young fan. The friendships I made with older people were really important to me, and it makes me sad to see a lot of younger people now getting upset about the idea of anyone over a certain age being in their fandom spaces. I hope someday fandom can get back to appreciating that people of all ages can be the fandom type, and that everyone brings something different to the community.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 1, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #sophia jirafe

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ladyrainb0w · 3 years

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Alright, people of the realm, my children,

Being as we're all seeing this post on the mighty Tumblr, I'm sure we're all to some degree familiar and comfortable with the joy that is the phenomenon of social media, and all the doors it opens for us in terms of communication. Nowadays we have friends all over the world, only a screentap away from us - and it's awesome! It's great! The internet and social media have brought us a lot of great things, and allowed us to meet a lot of great people that we might never have met before, and that's cool.

What's a lot less cool is that there's also, as always, predators out on the prowl in chatboxes, message boards and whatnot (god, I sound like my mother). I don't need to tell you that, probably. All the same, I thought I'd share some of my own experiences with the internet's resident creepsters, and maybe give some of you a look into how they operate. Feel free to add any of your own that you have run into, and remember: "No." is a whole sentence, and the 'block' and 'report' buttons are there for a reason.

Without further adoo, heave-ho and off we go to

✨ Types of Creepy Randos in your DMs; A Beastiary ✨

1. The Flasher

Y'know that old stereotype of the middle-aged dude in the trenchcoat loitering about on the street or in the park, waiting for some poor, hapless, unsuspecting victim to come ambling by to scar them for life with the ol' carrot and walnut salad? Yeah.

A fair amount of unfortunate drive-through workers could probably already tell you that this particular creature eagerly rides the wave of technological advancement, and this is proven once again by their adaptability to the medium of the internet. In my experience, this particular breed of creep likes to present itself as a hapless, innocent-if-prone-to-accidents friendly dork; sometimes they're middle-aged, 'just lonely and looking for someone to talk to', other times they pretend to be the stuttering awkward 'oh golly me, so sorry about that' school nerd. This is also how they try to get away with the crime: you'll be having a perfectly normal conversation, and then they'll be asking your opinion about something or wanting to show you something and oh, whoopsy, they accidentally send you a picture of their cocktail shrimp instead of the kittens they meant to send you! How silly of them!

As an added bonus, some of these dingleberries like to combine their MO with a hefty side of guilt tripping, whimpering and whining. Remember: it usually takes several button clicks to make and send a picture- that means there's been several conscious decisions made before this picture was 'accidentally' send to you, and not one of these decisions was to just...y'know...NOT be creepy and gross.

2. The Dial

This one likes to gradually dial things up as they go. It's an incredibly sneaky and insidious way of going about things - in fact, I would argue that between the slow-drip method and the quick defense method of 'I didn't mean anything weird by it!' it's just another type of gaslighting.

They start small; just a sincere question about a post you've made, maybe - a foot in the door. You might end up having a lovely conversation, perhaps even a blooming friendship. But then.

But. Then.

The tone slowly starts to shift. The questions become increasingly...off. You can't really put your finger on it, but something feels wrong.

But this person has been so friendly, so normal, all this time! Surely they don't mean anything by it? This is probably just how they show affection to friends, right? You don't want to be oversensitive or a spoilsport, so you just kind of shake it off. Except it keeps happening, and the feeling of discomfort keeps growing, until one day you realize that your boundaries have been all but annihilated and you're not sure how, or when, or how to adress this now without looking unhinged.

The sad thing about these people is that this particular MO proves that they can be perfectly charming - they can hold a perfectly normal, fun, conversation about normal topics. They are often intelligent, fun to talk to and make a show of being invested and informed. And they know all this - they bank on you growing so comfortable that you'll barely known what's hitting you when they do start to get inappropriate, and might even use that to try and trap you in feelings of guilt or responsibility.

These are also tactics often deployed by predators who groom their victims, so guys, gals and nonbinary pals: be your own best friend. Stand up for yourself. 'No' is a whole sentence, and your discomfort is not an argument to be won or lost.

3. The Love Bomber

This person just loves you so much. They're pretty sure you're soulmates and they're not sure how to go about life without you- about five messages in. They like to interperse their wildly amorous exclamations with the occasional well-timed 'haha' or 'lol' - just to keep it appropriately casual, y'know. They seem drawn to picture-focused media, like instagram, and will often focus on complimenting your physical attributes - not unlike one of those wonderfully generic loveletter-songs churned out by boybands across the world (Bo Burnham's 'Repeat Stuff', anyone?). They're intensely complementary, and want you to know they just admire you so much, you're their idol! Their life wouldn't be complete without you in it! This person agressively pets your ego in the hopes of getting any range of nice-person-points in return. They're very remeniscent of obsessive, rabid fans - willing to die for you, goddamn it, but god forbid they find out their fervour and devotion isn't equally met (because seriously, you barely know this person and they're setting your teeth on edge).

This type has an even louder and more intense, might-be-hiding-a-crusty-collection-of-kink-magazines-in-their-bookbag-and-reading-them-at-family-gatherings cousin:

4. The Weawwy Weird Weeaboo

This person comes in swinging with ALL CAPS LETTERS and an entire arsenal of emojis, plus a whole colourwheel of heart emojis. Hell, they might even toss in some 'rawr XD' for the lulz. They're often found in the nerdier corners of the internet, which is how they'll try to make their way through the door - armed with memes of your favourite show and a lot of game references to make sure you know they're part of the same 'in' crowd as you. They're essentially waging war on your boundaries with a lot of noise and overt enthusiasm bordering on the psychotic, and like their brethren mentioned above make sure to loudly proclaim their undying love for you every couple minutes. Inappropriate messages or picture-sharing is often hidden behind a smokescreen of 'omg so RANDOM lmaoroflcopter' or 'I can't help it, I just get so EXCITED 😥😥😥😥'.

This is also another one that likes to use your feelings of guilt against you, and acts like a kicked puppy if confronted. They know what they're doing - don't force yourself to put up with their bullshit.

5. The 'Kid Just Like You'

This asshole tries to trick their way into your good graces/nudes/private information by lulling you into a false sense of security because you're the same age/gender/sex/(sub)culture/whatever so it's al fiiiiiine, relaaaaaaax, you can totally trust them! Boundaries don't exist when you're like siblings, amirite? How do you do, fellow humanoids? Wanna talk about some totally normal humanoid stuff??

Once again, this is a popular tactic employed by predators out to groom people, so be mindful of what you share, with whom, and why - it's okay to be friendly or even friends with people on the internet, but at the end of the day there's still an anonymity out here that's easily abused by people that are so inclined. You do not owe anybody your trust, especially if something feels off and you're uncomfortable. In fact, I've often seen the book 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin de Becker mentioned as a great treatise on why there's a very good reason for that weird feeling in your underbelly, and why you should listen to it.

6. The Martyr/The Vampire

The Martyr, or 'the Vampire' for this exact reason, twists themselves into all kinds of knots and pretzels to try and get you to invite them in on your own volition while trying at the same time to look as 'casual' as possible.

Their favourite way is to make sure that you know how much pain they've suffered before coming to your door - somehow they just seem to be perpetually inviting scorn from others, completely unprompted of course! Won't anybody show them just a little bit of kindness in this dark, unforgiving world???

It's once they've been let in, however, that the truth starts coming out and suddenly you find yourself understanding why this person has so much trouble finding - and keeping - friends, and it has very little to do with the world at large and everything to do with this specific person and their behaviour. Common denominators and all that.

This beastie might try to strong-arm you into whatever they want with thinly veiled threats of making you another mark on their growing tally of 'terrible people they have been victimised by' - which, frankly, why would you give a shit? They usually end up shooting themselves in the foot anyway as they work themselves down the line of people to cozy up to.

7. The V E R Y Studious Student

This person has a *lot* of questions for you, and they seem weirdly...intimate. Some of them might even skip right by that step and go for the all-out sexual questions, all the while staunchly mainting that it's all in the pursuit of science/their project/a questionnaire/their own TOTALLY CLINICAL curiousity. In one hilarious example I was presented with an actual, honest-to-god *questionnaire* about my (ahem) bedroom habits, supposedly for a forum about statistics.

Best way to handle: don't answer questions you don't feel comfortable answering, especially if it's to a stranger who doesn't really have any business knowing this information. They're not your doctor.

#types of #list #types of creepy people #creepy people on the internet #top 7 #funny #serious #safety #grooming #protection #DMs #social media #internet

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freebooter4ever · 3 years

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i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me.

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

#journal shit

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