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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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One Year Anniversary: Top 12 Ducktales Episodes!

Happy anniversary all you happy people! Yes it was one year ago today I started reviewing animation and it’s been a ride to be sure. I’d always WANTED to be a reviewer: I love going on and on about stuff I love, really digging into it and picking it apart... but I could never get started. I tried youtube but I didn’t have the money for the equipment nor a proper shooting space to record, so my efforts.. were not great. And while I TRIED text reviews, my own looming pile of self hatred meant every attempt I made was shot down when it got hard as me not being good enough.

But one year ago I finally got past that. I’d already been reviewing a bit, doing invididual issues of comics... but got way in over my head trying to do the current line of X-Men comics as it came out, and wisely bowed out of that. But that left a gap: I had nothing to cover week to week and with a demanding new job, I drifted into just doing in charcter chats, little fan fictions script styles. Not bad work, I should do some more at some point and I even got a comissoin once in a while, but nothing I could really live on and not what I wanted to do with my life.

Enter Ducktales. I’d always WANTED to review the show.. and when the double premire happened, I decided fuck it, and put up my thoughts. And then decided.. hey maybe I can do this every week.. and slowly.. my work evolved, getting better and better, getting more and more likes. I picked up Amphibia when that came by week to week.

And eventually.. this went from a hobby, if one I was passionate about to a career. Not a largely paying one, as only one person was really intrested in paying me for it, friend of the blog and our fincial backer @weirdkev27, but .. it’s money and i’m now making about 30 dollars a month due to a comination of comissions and patreon. Other contributers are always welcome mind you, my patreon is here if your curious and comissions are 5 dollars an episode, but i’ts just nice to have money coming in. To have gone from simply WANTING to review things and make a living off it.. to simply doing it.

And it’s been one hell of a year.. and not just because 2020 felt like hell or 2021 began with a full on insurrection. I feel like i’ve acomplished a lot in the year i’ve been doing this: I finished what I started with Ducktales season 3, getting better and better as I went. And I didn’t stop there with ducks: I started covering what brought me to Ducks in the first place, the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and while that retrospective has slid a bit on the schedule, I intend to get it back on track this month. I reviewed a bunch of Darkwing Duck episodes leading up to the Just Us Justice Ducks.. chronologically anyway. The actual airing order reads like someone took 50 issues of a comic, made it rain with them, then just started reading whatever ones they picked up randomly. I also covered some of Duck Master Carl Barks work with the classics Night on Bear Mountain, A Christmas for Shacktown and Back to the Klondike, with more to come.

And the Duck didn’t stop at just reviews I did on my own: Kev comissioned two MASSIVE retrospectives from me: My first for him was Ride of the Three Caballleros where in just a few short months I covered the boys entire televisied careers together from the movie, to house of mouse, to mickey and the roadster racers, to ducktales (again) and finishing with the wonderful Legend of the Three Caballeros. It has probably the worst Daisy imaginable, but otherwise is really excellent and i’m glad I finally watched it. I also covered Don Rosa’s two stories with the boys as part of it. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed every minute of it... okay most of them again Three Cabs Daisy is the worst. And once that finished Kev started up another idea: Shadow Into Light: a look at Lena’s character arc from start to finish that has gone on to be my most popular series on this blog, and that finishes next week. And there’s more to come as after that there’s a short breather with a look at Lilo and Stitch’s crossover episodes.. folllowed by me looking at all three of season 2′s ducktales arcs. And I fully intend to have covered every episode of the series by this time next year, so stay tuned.

Outside of ducks though I didn’t slow down. I restarted my Tom Lucitor retrospective, covering what i feel to be one of Star Vs’ two best characters, tied with eclipsa, and my personal faviorite as he redeemeed himself, found love and I bitched a lot about the horrible directions the series took and probabably will more as that’s still not done yet. I did what I always wanted to do and started looks at some of my faviorite comics ever, starting with Life and Times and adding in New X-Men and Scott PIlgrim. I also threw in the awesome comic Blacksad. I did pride month for the first time and not only came out publicly, but also did two whole arcs i’m proud of with The Saluna episodes of Loud house and the rednid episodes of OK KO, and generally just had myself a good old fashioned time as an out bi man reviewing childrens cartoons.

I started Season 2 of amphibia with it’s lows of an endlesss road trip and highs of adding Marcy to the cast and giving us more of the silky voiced keith david. And finally Patreon wise Kev’s taken me on a hell o fa journey: In addition to the restrospectives i’ve covered some additional darkwing duck, and a simpsons homage to the duck comics... but also got a bit weird and obscure with detours like the lost animnaics sucessor Histeria, the apocalyptic comedy where Santa dosen’t know how doors work Whoops! and the adventures of Santa’s bratty teen daughter jingle belle. In short.. it’s been a long year but damn has it been fun and there’s more to come. I’d like to thank all of you for reading, thank my Patreons Kev and Emma for supporting me, and thank my family for doing the same. So with that out of the way, I figured the best way to celebrate was to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, something honoring the show that gave me this calling in the first place. And with Season 3 sadly being the last, and enough weeks having passed for me to digest it between the finale and today, I could think of nothing better than my top 12 episodes of Ducktales.

Ducktales is one of the best cartoons of the 2010′s. Brilliantly taking EVERYTHING that had come before, the comics, the original cartoon and every bit of duck media period to craft a masterful, unique and wonderful reboot. It was funny, it was insane, and it had damn good character arcs. By the end every member of the main cast along with major supporting cast members like Fenton, Drake and especially Lena, had changed and signifigantly at that. The show was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more and I miss it terribly, hoping DIsney will do a revivial movie at some point. For now though, Frank and Matt’s run on ducktales, as they called it and I do too since i’m a massive comic book nerd, it’s time to look back on my favorite tales of ducks. So grab your sharks, your number one dimes and your friendship cakes with clear gay undertones and join me under the cut as I celebrate one of my faviorite shows and my anniversary in the best way possible.

12. House of the Lucky Gander!

So as i’ve gone on about before and no doubt will again, Donald kinda got the short end of the stick in season 1. While Frank and Matt had good story intentions, keeping Donald away from adventure since he had no interest in it, in practice it meant a beloved Disney Icon who they and disney HEAVILY promoted as part of the series and whose being here this go round was a big draw for fans of the comics.... was only in a quarter of the season and only got TWO plots centered around him in 23 episodes, with only one being the main plot of the episode. The PIlot and Finale both centered around the family more as a whole if your curious how I counted those so while he got plenty of focus in both, it’s still not a day in the limelight sort of thing.

But unusually for Donald, he lucked out as his one big starring role for Season 1 was both one of my faviorites and one of Season 1′s most inventive outings. A lot of the episodes enegy comes from a one two punch of a great guest star and one of the series best settings. The guest star is of course everyone’s faviorite overly lucky himbo Gladstone Gander. The show adapted the prick perfectly: The original Gladstone from the comics.. was the worst asshole imaginable, utterly insufferable. And for a villian, and Donald’s rival, that’s all well and good.. but his super luck meant he RARELY , if ever, suffered any consequences for being just...

The 87 series simply made him nicer, while Going Quackers simply removed his luck. No adaptation really got how to make this fucker work.. until this one. Here Frank split the diffrence: Gladstone is still smug.. but he’s no longer actively malicious. While he is an insensitive prick to Donald in this one, unlike the comics he’s not constantly bragging about his luck or how great he is or actively BAITING Donald to fight with him or trying to ruin his relationship or a million other reasons he sucks and I hate him.

This version by contrast... is generous. He’s not the most empathetic, because he doesn’t get how life works, but he does share the riches of the casnio with everyone and in a cameo appearance in “Treasure of the Found Lamp” gladly offers his nephews some diamonds. He’s got a nice surface level charm to him that makes you understand why people like him.. but it’s also clear ther’es nothing UNDER that of value, making you equally understand why Scrooge and Donald hate him. Gladstone in this reboot is a perfect example of why we need reboots or new adaptations in the first place: Because sometimes the original got something wrong or something can be done much better by the new writers.

He’s perfectly paired with the setting: The House of Lucky Fortune, a mystical casino with an East Asian astatic based in the country of Macaw and provides two great plots. Donald’s really highlights his character: His understandable jealousy at gladstone earning the boys love through nothing while he struggles to make a living for them, and how he feels like a looser and like Gladstone is simply showing that off instead of just not knowing what empathy is. Having Louie be the one to bond with Gladstone was also just pitch pefefct, as is showing some depth for the boy by having himr ealize his hero is an asshole and be the one to help donald in the end.

The other plot is just pure joy though and is where the setting REALLY shines: Scrooge and the rest of the kids try to leave.. but can’t find the exit. This is where the creative part comes in: The Casino simply morphs to keep people trapped, and caters to them, giving them whatever they want to keep them trapped. In the cases of the kids it’s all hilarious and adorably in character: Huey becomes entranced by a fancy water show, in one of his best bits of the season, Dewey gets a pet tiger who sadly did not come home with him and Webby gets to live the dream we’ve all had of stuffing her face directly in a choclate fountain. Scrooge’s escape is likewise clever: He simply prepares to get a room.. then books it as the check in desk is ALWAYS near the front.

We then find out Gladston’es trapped get the whole mystical contest with absolutely gorgeous animation, i’ll talk about it in full some time but this episode is just a treat to watch, has a great arc for donald and had some memorable gags. I can’t help but smile when I watch it.

11. The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee! As I mentioned before i’m a superhero nerd so naturally Fenton was one of my faviorite parts of the show. Frank and Matt were just damn good at crafting superhero stories, and like gladstone improved fenton turning him from an awkward donald stand in to an awkward peter parker-esque science nerd who just wants to be a good person and the best hero he can be. He got into science not just because he thinks it’s neat, but because he honestly wants to help people and you can’t help but foot for him whenever he pops up. Lin Manuel Miranda is a large reason for that, bringing his incomparable a-game to the character. While we sadly didn’t get a ton of gizmoduck focused episodes, the fatct we got AS MANY as we did and that Lin didn’t drop out for a minute even with his busy schedule was a miracle and I’m acknowledging that.

As for why this one, I feel it builds brilliantly on the previous Fentoncentric episode Who Is Gizmoduck?! which just BARELY didn’t make this list and uses the fact we haven’t seen fenton in a while as both a plot point and to move some things forward without having to spend screentime they clearly didn’t have. By having Fenton be just burnt out on superheroics it finds a way to both explain where he’s been, he’s been busy with his new job, and give us an interesting angle to the old “superhero is tired of the life” thing. He never once complains about saving people or stuff... it’s just like any job it gets tiring after a while. As someone who has his dream job but has struggled with it from time to time, I vastly relate.

Though while I love my boy and Lin is game as always, the episodes real MVP is my other boy Huey. The episode has moved Huey up from being simply Fenton’s fanboy to being his best friend, and adorable as hell relationship. The two clearly respect and appricate each other and Huey is looking out for his buddy the whole episode. His love of love is also just really cute. Added in the mix is Webby, who in one of my faviorite gags of the series, finds out Fenton is Gizmoduck because Huey is incredibly and insanely blatant with his unecessary coverup. But she of course is game to help while Fenton is trying to play it casual. We also just get a waterfall of great gags as everyone overdoes it wingmanning for fenton: Huey sets up an itallian bistro and tries to purposfully create a lady and the tramp situation, and sings opera (With Manny on acordian), the wonderfully 80′s suit from Fenton’s dad his mom gives him to wear, and Launchpad, who gives us a tremendous list of his exes, and plays my favorite song of the series: It’s a Date, a micheal mcdonnel riff.

This episode also wisely ups Mark’s Beaks game as Fenton’s arch enemy, still keeping him hilaroius, with the guy acting like a bored teenager and guzzling so much nanite jucie he turns into a hulk, as well as said hulk mode leading to a ton of great gags from kidnapping the children (”I got your kids.. are they your kids? I don’t know how this family works), to “take that coach dad” to eating a pie with tins and all and wondering about said tins. But he’s an actual threat now, taking on fenton in one hell of a fight, and having an utterly transcendent scene where he hacks his way past gyro’s security while dancing.. and dabbing because of course he does. It’s a fun, well done character piece that’s mostly here for i’ts laugh but Fenton’s struggle with Gizmo overtaking his life, and finding out someone he truly hit it off iwth only wanted him for that.. it’s really good stuff and Lin’s delivery after Fenton finds out, the pure pain and betryal in his voice, is just excellent. Also that opera scene is poetry.

10. Quack Pack!

One of the episodes that started my career naturally landed here. Not for that reason though: Quack Pack is a fun riff on sitcoms, specifically the tgif ones of the 90′s that Disney Afternoon Kids no doubt also watched, the kinds Disney Channel still makes today, and most importanly the kind the Disney Afternoon itself made like Goof Troop and well... Quack Pack.

Riffs on sitcoms are nothing new and the last year has been FULL of them. 2020 gave us this episode, Beef House and the wonderful “The Perfect House” episode of Close Enough, and this year gave us WandaVision, my second favorite MCU project so far, right behind Black Panther, which used the sitcom deconstruction to create one hell of a character study.

So you’d think with a year having passed and this concept happening as an entire mini series would dull this one.. but no. it’s still damn funny, having fun at the cliches while, again like WandaVision, having one of the main cast be responsible by accident but go along with it. The episode pivots from glorious affectionate parody of cheesy sitcoms, to that plus horrifying “Humans”, and a character piece for Donald. This brings Donald’s hatred and fed up ness with adventure to a head revealing his fondest wish is just to have a normal life and not loose anyone again.

It takes one of his best friends to snap him out of it. Look Goofy is my second faviorite of the sensational seven, an episode with him was already an easy sell for me.. but the episode uses him really well. First for laughs as he’s gentically dispositioned to be a perfect sitcom neighbor.. but also for heart. With his family preoccupied and a bit hurt, i’ts Goofy who cuts to the heart of the issue, pointing out NO ONE is normal and even his normal domestic life raising Max, who we see go to prom with roxanne eeeeee, has all sorts of chaos. Normal is what you make of it and pining for some ideal that will never happen was just tearing donald apart piece by piece and by letting go of that.. he finally begins to grow as a person throughout the season. It’s also a great thematic tie in to the season’s overall plot with Bradford and what Makes donald, despite also disliking the chaos his family gets into, different. Donald accepted it and grew as a person.. Bradford clung to his hate and it ate him alive. Or turned him into a non-sapient kind of vulture. Before I close this part out Jaleel White is also excellent and I wish eh’d get back into voice acting. He’s so freaking good at it. Seriously man i’d love to see him and ben in a sonic property together as a mythology gag. Same with Jims cummings and carey. Just think about it whoever owns the sonic movies.. think about it.

9. The Last Adventure!

Look I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming. But it had to be on here. The Last Adventure is not perfect: The lack of a build up episode like the previous two finales had really hurt this one: even at about 70 minutes, it still feels rushed in places and Huey, one of hte main characters of the season, dosen’t feel like he has a full payoff to his character like Dewey and Louie got.

But despite those flaws.. this episode is just a damn good ending. Almost everyone gets a big moment paying off their character arc, everyone in the party that comes to rescue webby and huey, along with the two themselves, gets a moment to show off, and everything comes together to give us one last epic sendoff. There’s just moment stacked on moment stacked on moment from Launchpads heroic second wind and donning of the gizmoduck armor, to Webby’s tearful confrontation with Beakley, to Huey using the greatest adventure of all line to foil bradford in one of the most deligfhully nuts moments of the series, I could go on for days with just how triumphant this finale felt. While it left a lot of doors open.. that feels like part of the design. It’s the end of the fight with FOWL.. but our heroes will never stop adventuring, never stop going and never stop being in our hearts and the curtain call at the end is now my faviorite bit of end credits ever, perfectly giving the main cast and friends one last chance to take a bow in their own unique ways. I will always miss this show but I will never be disapointed by the note it went out on.

8. The 87 Cent Solution!

Look some episodes are show stoppers, some are heartfelt tearjerkers, some are all this and more.. and some episodes are just clever and hilarious. The 87 Solution is the second funniest episode of Ducktales with me and my go to episode when watching the show. It’s just pure fun and with a clever premise: Scrooge notices 87 cents have gone missing, and already coming down with a cold, goes mad with paranoia as the kids slowly don face masks, something that has become even eeerier given everything, one by one realizing he needs to stop.

While David Tennant is an EXCELLENT dramatic actor, his comedy timing is really something that shoudln’t be ignored and i’ts on full display here as his performance gets more and more deranged, to thep oint he thinks an 8th dimensional imp is repsonsible. He nicely balances the disturbing side of Scrooge’s paranoia, his distancing from his family, with plenty of great gags about it too, the standout being when he offers 2 million dollars to whoever took the money like he’s publicly appeasing kidnappers. It’s fucking brilliant.

But while David is awesome as ever what really, truly makes the episode is my boy, one of my faviorite characters on the show if not my single faviriote FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Keith Ferguson is ALWAYS a dream as the character but this is his best performance by far. Part of this is the addition of Zan Owlson, Kev who I mentioned earlier’s faviorite Ducktales character. She’s not only throughly likeable in her own right, but provides the one thing Flinty was missing; a straight man.. or woman in this case. Scrooge wasn’t TERRIBLE in the roll, but can easily step away from his shit or foil it. Owlson has to put up with Glomgold’s nonsense while desperatly trying to stop him from undoing all her hard work with sheer force of jackass. The two jut play off each other brilliantly, Glomgold not getting sh’es not his employee but his equal and Owlson constnatly snarking at him.

And of course both things hit their peak in the climax with the family staging a fake funeral (Though no one told donald it was fake), and we get the funniest scene in the entire fucking show as Glomgold burts in in a white suit, money shades and full dance number to “All I Do Is Win’, which when first watching this I was convinced the song was somehow accidnetly on in the background but nope. They got it after using it in the test phase and the scene is better for it. Glomgold twerking on Scrooge’s casket, trying to get on it to dance, and having to be placated like ac hild is the icing on this very rich cake

And the reveal scene is also gold as Glomgold gets into a YEARLONG staring contest with a baby, fails to steal more than the 87 cents and, in my faviorite touch, put on an imp costume just to make scrooge seem crazier... then keeps the damn thing on the rest of the time for no explicable reason. The episode is the show at it’s comedic peak while giving Glomgold a chance to be a genuine threat and that’s Glomgood.

7. Let’s Get Dangerous!

Frank’s Rebooted Version of Darkwing Duck is probably his greatest achivment with the show. While this show is a team effort, something I slowly realized as I reviewed the show, it’s very clear from the way he talks, how well he knows the show and how much effort was put into porting Darkwing into the reboot that this was his baby. While redefining ducktales for the 2010′s was clearly a huge dream of his... doing the same for the master of suprise was an even bigger goal. And as a huge fan of superheroes i’ve seen my fair share of half assed takes on laired and complex characters. The XCU alone is one giant grab bag of missed opportunities for me.

So i’ts no exageration when I tell you Frank.. nailed it. In one of the most brilliant moves i’ve seen for a superhero work Frank worked his love of the show into the reboot.. by having Darkwing have been a show, one Launchpad loved.. and so did Drake, who was inspried by the show to become an inspriation himself and while his attempt to do that through a zack snydery reboot failed, Launchpad encouraged him to do it for real. Drake was still himself, but the meta aspect and the toning down of some of darkwing’s more obnoxious traits that didn’t work in a universe that, while patently rediciulous still took it’s characters seriously, he made a BETTER version of the character.

This is where all that comes to it’s peak, and hoppefully convinced Disney to let Frank , and possibly matt, run the reboot. And no, even if Point Grey is producing that dosen’t stop that: Thanks to Invincible i’ve now realized that Seth and his friend Evan producing the show dosen’t mean it’ll be RAN by them, nor unrelated to this. It just means their helping make it and if anything given how lush and gorgeous invincible’s animation is, it’s a VERY good sign their helping out with it if it’s true.

But wether this versoin continues or not, Frank gave it his best shot. Part of his diffrent angle is having Drake as a rookie here and as such here we see him truly struggle: he’s had his origin, he ahs the cape, he has the gadgets (in a brilliant turn thanks to fenton, who he actually likes... but is so far the ONLY person to not get he’s Gizmoduck), and the city.. but no crime to fight and no real idea how to go about his lifelong dream. The events of the episode slowly shape him: WHile he already had the spirit for darkwing, never giving up, looking good in a cape etc, this episode gives him the heart the same way it gave his original it: With Gosalyn. Dimantopolis and Beatriz just play off each other perfectly, as the two go from neimies to slowly bonding as Drake realizes this kid needs him and that he needs to fight for more than just filing the ohle inside, and goes to hell and back to help her get her grandpa back, with one of the best moments of the episode to me being when Launchpad helps her realize how hard he’s been working at it, an exausted drake refusing to acccept that he can’t get her grandpa back because he promised. He grows from simply trying to live the dream.. to surpassing the original. We also see more from Launchpad, who grows into his new family and helps push his boyfriend and newa dopted daughter in the right directions. The episode really evolves these characters from the simple disney afternoon versions, who while awesome were made into fully fleshed out characters. Gosalyn still has her edge but now has a hard lesson to learn about doing the right thing, forced to give up someone she loves for the greater good but finding a new family in the process.

Part of what makes the episode work though as while it is funcitonally one big darkwing duck reboot pilot that’s awesome, heartrending and a joy to watch... it’s still a ducktales episode in parts without either part hurting each other. Huey plays a vital role, figuring the ramrod is too good to be true.. and discovering just how it is, then when captured, slowly unravling why Bradford’s there and being at least in part responsible for outing him as a FOWL agent. While this is largely Drakes story the rest of the cast is still vital to it: Scrooge trusting in huey, Louie serving as his logical counter and Dewey meanwhile bonding with team darkwing and helping Gosalyn, knowing exactly where she’s been and providing a nice foil. The episode is just one long and impressive love letter to the original show while creating it’s own thing and that’s really this reboot in a nutshell. It also has some of the best fights of the series, with the first fight between darkwing and bulba, where our hero, unlike his original counterpart, easily troucnes bulba using his speed and skill, is the standout.

6. Woo-Ooo!

I covered this one recently so I won’t go on for too long.. but I will say I hold this one up as the gold standard for first episodes. In one hour, hell even in jus the first half we get a sense of the whole cast, the tone of the show, and the world we’ve been thrust into. It gets all the table setting out of the way by weaving it into a compelling story of Scrooge getting back in the game, finding a reason to get back to what he does best in those he loves most and setting up the season long arc effortlessly in the process. The worst I can say about the episode is it sets the bar a bit high for Season 1 and a lot of the first half really struggled to reach these heights. This episode is a masterwork and the perfect showcase for what the series would be at it’s height.

5. Moonvasion!

Speaking of Golden Standards, Moonvasion is one of the best season finale’s i’ve seen. it’s not THE best.. but that’s a really high bar to clear and that spots currently taken in my heart by “The Crossroads of Destiny” from Avatar the Last Airbender. But while not the best of it’s kind, it’s sitll the best the series put out and is an utterly satisfying epic that ties up season 2.

While I love the Last Adventure, it had a LOT to tie up and was really hampered by having to do all of that with no direct lead in. Moonvasion by contrast hits the ground running with the Moonlanders arriving on earth and all hell breaking loose, and the episode itself breaking into two stellar plots. Scrooge leading an army of every ally he has against the invaders, and Della seemingly going for reinforcements.. but really just trying to keep the kids safe from it, to their anger once they find out.

Both sides end up going badly: Scrooge looses most of his army as Lunaris was one step ahead of him and is left iwth Beakly and Launchpad, while Della ends up marooned.. and finds Donald. The reunion between the two is the highlight of the special, as the two argue as you’d expect (And Dewey cutting in seemingly to stop it.. only to rant at Donald for costing him “ten years of turbo” is the best gag of the episode), before embracing.

Our heroes naturally find ways to bounce back though. Louie, capping off his growth for the season, convinces his mom they can’t just hide.. and in the second best scene of the episode sings the lullabye she wrote.. one Donald sung them every night

And no sooner than Della gets her step back and realizes that dangerous or not she and her newly reunited family have to get back in there, do the cousins show up on Fethry’s giant shrimp/girlfriend Mitzi, and our heroes head back.

Scrooge’s plot hits i’ts peak though as he’s forced to accept the help of an unlikely and unwelcome ally: Glomgold, who turns out to be exactly what they need: While his plan is as stupid, short sighted and insane as you’d expect, complete with forcing Scrooge to dress up as santa just to piss him off and dressing his sharks in parkas (”I call them sharkas”), the sheer lonacy throws Lunaris off as he dosen’t know how to deal with this and Glomgold not only gets the better of him but gets his company back as part of his scheme. “You were prepared for our best but not our dumbest!” “And i’m the dumbest theirs ever been! Muahahahaha! Wait...”

And of course our other heroes arrive just in time to save things.. and the episode still manages to pull off what many works struggle to, something tha’ts very hard to: a SECOND climax. Lunaris decides to just say fuck it and blow up the earth and i’ts up to our core family to kick his ass in space. Epic space battles, Della’s girlfriend meeting the family and more insues and an emotoinal, action packed and fully satisfying finale is had by all... and it’s all topped with one of the best sequel hooks i’ve ever seen as FOWL makes themselves known to us.. and prepares to strike.

4. How Santa Stole Christmas! This one will also be short as i’ve talked about this one.. a lottttt. The initial review, my best christmas specials list and my best of 2020 list. I stand by all of that: this is a unique and wonderful christmas special, i’ll be watching it every year, and i’ts full of charm, humor and gay subtext. In short it’s this series but on christmas footing.

3. Last Crash of the Sunchaser!

Another one I covered very recently, this episode is a master piece of suspense, slowly building tension as our heroes get closer and closer to the truth about Della.. and to death, the simple but deadly stakes making this an absolute nailbiter from start to finish. This is some of the series best pacing bar none... but what seals it is the ending: the masterful flashback finally explaning whatever happened to Della duck, our heroes lashing out at each other.. all cumilating in the best Scene of the show. I said it might be in the review but no I can confirm: Scrooge bitterly ruminating over things while we find out just how much he’s lost... ending with him tearfully and angrily sitting once again alone in one hell of a powerful shot echoing Scrooge’s first apperance. Damn fine stuff.

2. Escape from The Impossbin Only one episode not only matches Last Crash in mounting tension and atmosphere but suprasses it. With FOWL and Bradford’s true nature now out in the wind, this episode uses that to create tension and rattles it’s two most unshakable characters: SCrooge’s normal boundless confidence is shot, not sure he can win this time against an opponent who knows him as well as he knows himself while Beakly slowly unravels, pitting Webby against the boys.. and pitting herself against Webby when Webby sees her terroizing them is only dividing them. Both plots start out funny enough but slowly escalate in tension and stakes until by the end your on the edge of your seat. The Beakly plot is the standout of the two, giving Bentina the starring role she badly needed, having gotten even better in light of the finale. Everyone is at the top of their game and everything builds up to one hell of a twist ending and one hell of a badass boast from our heroes: Their down.. but their far from out and this is far from over.

1. Nightmare On Kimotor Hill!

I”ll be reviewing this episode in full later this week as part of my Lena retrospective, but I stand by putting it up top. This episode is ducktales in it’s purest form and focuses on it’s best original character as Lena grapples with her self hatred and her past. That core helps anchor an amazing concept: going into the Kid’s dreams and finding out their greatest desires. The results.. are all gloriously rediclous and are easily the best gags of hte series as a whole: Dewey’s high school musical santa claus is going ot high school nonsense from getting a’s in Dewology to running away from the abstract concept of a love intrest, to not getting the sybolism of himself crying a moon made of his own tears. Louie quite literally becoming garfield, and my faviorite scene of the show: Huey, wanting to be the tall older brother..g iving himself horrifcly long leg. While everyone else is just understandably baffled, what makes the scene is the banter between Dewey and Huey, with Schwartz and Pudi at their best as Dewey first freaks out and then asks what the hell man, while Huey defends his weird decision (”I”m not good at imagination stuff okay!”), and then tries to get a jar of pickles. Each dream is just so oddly and wonderfully specific to each kid and each one of the triplests dreams, as well as violets being color coded down tot he backgrounds is a very nice touch. The visuals here are just peak ducktales, using the setting for all it’s worth and the climax is utterly emotoinal and heartbreaking... and Lena’s break from her abuser, finally realizing she has the power now is not only a wonderful metaphor... but also just so damn cathartic. And that’s why this one’s the best to me personally: it just packs so much into 20 minutes: some of the series best and most creative jokes, a gripping emtoinal arc, and so much more. It’s just that damn good and tha’ts why it’s the best... that and starting Huelet for me. Seriously that LIbrary scene is so fucking cute.

Thank you all for reading. If you liked this artcle, join my patreon and help me get to my stretch goal for monthly darkwing duck reviews, a review of super ducktales and more after! Until the next rainbow... it’s been a pleasure.

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painted-crow · 3 years

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Hey I hope this isn’t awkward but that post about your burned badger (lion?) secondary really hit home for me. I’m pretty sure I’ve had the same burned model in the past - I think I started off with a healthier badger/lion model (I can’t figure out which and am still figuring out my sorting anyway) and some external life stuff going on later, I’m really just pushing through and getting stuff done with all the delicacy of a brick. And same here with the emotional rollercoaster ... 1/2

And same here with the emotional rollercoaster of it between panic/apathy. And the burnout. And the ignoring physical pain. And I can see now how this was uh. Pretty unhealthy actually but it really was just so. effective especially given the circumstances and I kind of miss it in a way. It would be nice if I could get back a healthier version of whichever model it was. Anyway I love reading your blog you always have such insightful things to say thanks for reading this ramble <3 2/2

💙💙💙 :D

Not awkward! I'm glad that was useful for someone, rather than just being an angst dump on my part lol

Emergency secondary mode, Badger or Lion?

Links to previous posts:

- post describing my emergency secondary mode (cw for burnout stuff)

- the worst version of this post (cw for terrible memes)

So, after a lot of consideration and chatting with some lovely SHC people (looking at you @mooglesorts and you @magpie-of-a-birb), I've come to the tentative conclusion that I have a Lion secondary performance.

Which is not something I ever expected to say! I've long had a knee-jerk "aaaaa scary!" reaction to Lion secondary, but actually I think that's because I have this performance and I've had to use it in unsustainable ways.

I should probably put a trigger warning here for self harm through overwork... yeah.

So, I found this song:

youtube

(While it is a bop, it is also x2 trigger warning combo for self harm ahaha)

This song's primary is exploded Glory Hound Lion--that's not what's relatable about it to me tho. What I wanted my friends' opinion on was the secondary that's displayed here. Sounded familiar. So I brought it up on the SHC Discord server (which is out of beta, dm me for an invite link if you wanna join!).

I was thinking it might actually be the fully Burned "anything that works" secondary, but Magpie was like "no, that's a Lion sec with a Snake model" and I went "huh..."

...and then Moogle was like no that's a snakesec with an unhealthy Lion model, the masks aren't working so they're busting out Lion--and especially there's the focus on the character feeling powerful because they can hurt themself with it and keep going anyway

And I was like "oh shit that tracks more than I was expecting it to... whoops"

Badger hits different without unhealthy pressure

I do have and use a Badger secondary model, and I used to think my emergency secondary mode was just my Badger model taken to unhealthy extremes. But I don’t think so now.

First, because I actually think that my emergency mode is/was often a product of my exploded Badger primary model, which itself idealized Badger secondary.

I'm still picking through that thing's shrapnel and finding its influence in old memories and automatic reactions I still have and stuff like that--not to mention rooting it out of my system. Which is to say, now that I know what I'm looking for, I'm still discovering how far back this thing goes! Turns out I've been trying to whack this piñata for years, and it used to be so much worse.

The self-destructive "I'd rather run myself hard into the ground than fail" nature of my emergency mode makes a lot of sense in retrospect. When you tie your self-worth to achievement... well: the lyrics "I'll never lose / I'll never die" from the song seem less "I have achieved immortality!" and more "I basically equate failure with death." This song really straddles that edge of relatable but also obviously messed up. It's... something.

Second, my Badger secondary model is very different when it's not under pressure from the 'splodey primary model. I'm kind of having to figure out what it's like without that and it's weird. It seems to be a whole lot more chill and also I'm getting more Courtier than I'm used to?

Yeah, turns out if you dig out "you should help other people to justify your existence, but don't accept help back or it cancels it out" from your system (because damn, there's a system piece I didn't look at closely enough) it might have been holding up Courtier potential you haven't been using.

What's the difference?

I don't know who pointed this out first, I think I read it somewhere, but Badger secondary is very process focused and Lion secondary is very results focused. (Bet you this was from @wisteria-lodge. I'm not sure, though.)

Badger usually shows up as a few main things for me: mirroring, chipping away at big projects, picking up life maintenance and self care type tasks (especially when Bird secondary is burned), and caregiving/service stuff. It can also Burn on its own, which is its own brand of "motivation is a cryptid" exhaustion. None of this looks like Lion, so where does the confusion come in?

The only time my Badger model starts to look like Lion--and here the line really blurs with the performance--is when I've tried to get it to do tasks it's not really meant for. There are things I need Bird unburned in order to tackle (perhaps it's the presence of burned Birdsec that gets in the way? That injured confidence can be really debilitating) and I can't do them with just Badger.

I'm sure actual Badger secs know how to, say, learn Adobe Illustrator's unbelievably complicated controls while under deadline using Badger, but I have no clue. I powered through using probably the least efficient controls possible. (If you're using the nudge tool as a form of measurement, you're probably doing it wrong. I'm guessing.)

Needless to say, that's exhausting. I think there's some point in the project timeline where it stops being "well it's not efficient but at least I'm making progress!" and starts being fueled by raw stubborn determination and a little bit of spite. The contentment with the process goes out the window. I'm fighting my own perfectionism (and usually losing) because I just want this thing done.

Which, that's not necessarily a bad thing! Sometimes it's really useful to be able to go "screw it" and charge. It becomes a bad thing when you ignore all your other needs to do it, possibly because you've tied success and/or productivity to your self worth, and also you're still clutching your perfectionism and hissing "my precioussssss."

also:

It's not always obvious, but I sometimes use Lion secondary in ways not connected to the splodey Badger primary model.

(Occasionally it is obvious though... haha)

I do have this one story about realizing my younger brother might be in danger and charging off to find him, armed with a heavy wooden coat hanger against potential assailants. I went from Bird situational analysis to "this is the best weapon I can find on short notice" in like 30 seconds. In my defense, I was very sleep deprived at the time.

(It makes more sense in context.)

(Sort of.)

so.

I think the emergency secondary mode is a Lionsec performance.

This post took me like a month to write even after figuring it out. And then another few weeks collecting dust in my drafts, because how do you edit something like this

But I've been sitting on it for way too long and I'm tired of saying I should finish/post it, and tonight I'm feeling bored and a little impulsive... so, screw it--I'm calling this done.

(can you hear it? it's there... fighting my Birdsec/Badgersec model perfectionism again.)

(this time, I will listen.)

#sortinghatchats #shc performances #gryffindor secondary model #(i don't have tags for performances alas)#hufflepuff secondary model #burned ravenclaw secondary #splodey badger primary model #secondary toast revolving door #asks #paint speaks

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dash-n-step · 3 years

Text

Finished doki doki literature club, and despite being late to the party here are my thoughts on how it reminded me a lot of a manga I started years ago (around 2011 with it ending in 2013) called "Classmate, Kamimura Yuuka wa Kou Itta".

So "spoilers" for both, and theory(?) for the former, I guess.

I should note:

> the manga ended up being pretty disappointing and way more fanservicy than I remembered when I finally finished it years later (like a year ago or so), so yeah don't bother looking it up to read unless you're used to that kind of lowbrow manga stuff. I just can't help but think about comparing them.

> I literally just played this game, so if all of this is either obvious or blatantly said somewhere, has been talked about before, or is putting too much thought into it then WHOOPS, but also whatevs yo it's my blog

(long post)

"Classmate, Kamimura Yuuka wa Kou Itta" is a manga about a girl, Kamimura Yuuka, who finds herself in a world where she's the only true "human", stating with confidence that all those around her are simply robots. She increasingly gets bored of the world and starts messing with it until one of the bots actually starts acknowledging her, so she tries to get closer to him.

This bot is the true protagonist of the story, who despite not previously having a strong or distinct personality, begrudgingly goes along with the girl's belief as he starts noting weird things that don't add up, like how he everybody only has so many clothes, always goes to the same places, or how even though he knows he felt his leg break he can walk on it just fine.

He also just so happens to have a childhood friend love interest that ends up having her own issues, an almost dependent reliance on the main character, and along the road ends up dying, but comes back after learning the truth of the world.

What really gets me thinking of the two, however, is the "true" truth of the worlds.

Despite the main girls believing they know the truth about the worlds they're in, their actual knowledge of it is limited. Kamimura doesn't know why she's the only human, nor where the bots came from.

And as much as Monika flaunts about learning the truth and being the only "real" character, going into the files shows it's not like she's really sure why she learned the truth, and when she's deleted from the game, Sayori instead learns the truth, suggesting it may not be about the person but merely the position of "club president".

and later on, another girl appears who reveals that while she's a robot, she's almost certain about having memories of once being alive, and not just alive but in a completely different setting, fighting in a war and growing into a hardened soldier.

Long story short: It's later revealed that after human experimentation and war wiping most people out, scientists began backing people's memories into data, so they could attempt to extend the human race. The robots were programmed based on actual people's memories, the main character especially being based off one of the main scientists' husband.

With that "Portrait of Markov" book speaking about cults and experimentation and the Third Eye, Yuri being into how similar she is to the protagonist, as well as how digging into the files of the game talks a lot about that Project Libitina, the game being an "artificial reality" while not being somebody's "only story, "everyone else has had the same kind of experience", it makes me more likely to think/really obvious that doki doki is in a similar situation where they're actually from a different place, just placed into this visual game like simulation that the player may not have been supposed to access, or what meant to suppress whatever the third eye stuff was all about.

Anyway that's just what I was thinking as I read into a lot of this stuff, watch random videos, and remembered the manga from like years ago, as I play a different game from years ago, that apparently is supposed to hint to a DIFFERENT video game that hasn't come out.

#doki doki literature club #ddlc #Project Libitina #Classmate Kamimura Yuuka wa Kou Itta #long post #dashingposts #but that's just a theory #A GAME THEORY

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stickcat-paradise · 4 years

Text

【 AND IMPORTANT THINGS, YKNOW? 】

————— ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ —————

↣ This blog was meant to be for my own fun, and I thought maybe some other people would like it, too! so like, imagine this as a slice of life anime xD Also things can be highly unrealistic and not consistent.

↣ My intended audience is 13+, as there would be curse words and mentions of sensitive topics. (Usually I'd put warning with that happens!)

↣ If you hate any of my content on this blog, I suggest you block it immeadiately. Same thing if you are too uncomfortable with what I am posting

↣ Please don't show my works on any other social media without my permission. I'm only comfortable sharing my content here on Tumblr.

↣ Reminder that I can just ignore your ask and/or delete it if I decide to not answer it. So when you send an ask just hope for the best. Lately I have been stressing over this blog, and I'm trying my best to prevent that!

↣ The plot takes place AFTER Fleeing The Complex! Ending routes in Completing the Mission has NEVER HAPPENED! Pretend like the plot is a different route of Triple Threat!

↣ Please DON'T make your asks highly inaproppiate or asks that have NOTHING to do with thats happening in the story, (unless your ask is for MOD Asor✰!)

↣ And also please don't try to insert yourself in the story, or to try to make yourself the star of the blog, the main character is Henry and the gang here yknow!

↣ I'm not a cat expert so haha whoops- If something is COMPLETELY off from the logic of cats and humans- Welp- It is what it izz. Same thing goes to EVERYTHING at this point- xDD

↣ Remember, this blog is laid back and there may be some light angst. But of course, nothing too intense! Mainly it would just be filled with bittersweet moments! So please don't analyze everything too seriously!!

More rules will be added as we progress, thank you so much for reading! ♥

#mod asor!#thsc stickcat au

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twilightofthe · 4 years

Note

What was your opinion of the Clovis arc? People I know either love it or hate it, no in between. I generally liked it but found it waayyy ooc.

Hey anon, thanks for the ask!!!!

AHSJFLSLALK OK SO UH. Wow. Clovis arc. Yiiiiiiikes ok so. I totally agree with you on the fandom divide and I also totally agree that everyone involved in it is rather OOC for my taste. That being said, that case of OOC is exactly why I personally do not like the arc that much at all.

(Please note that my following words are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, and that anyone is free to disagree, in fact I welcome the discussion, and even if this is your favorite arc, please consider yourself welcome on my blog I hold nothing against those who might like it)

Part of me was gonna make a short and sweet point about how I don’t like that TCW has had both of its main female characters have unwanted kisses forced on them, and instead of teaching young girls watching to tell those kinds of people to fuck off and respect their bodies, we get: 1. Just let it happen, you both must kinda like each other anyway or 2. Stay still then sit back while your boyfriend beats him half to death

But actually turns out I wanted to spend all day writing an essay so now you get this. So far I’m gonna hit four points:

the show’s constant need for Vader foreshadowing sometimes tending to completely override Anakin’s current mindset and personality he should have at this point in the timeline as well as his preestablished characterization

the way TCW gave Anakin a giant dosage of toxic masculinity to try and please the pissy movie critics who didn’t like that he cried

the role of Padmé and how TCW tries to portray her as a “strong woman” by just having her constantly be irritated by and sometimes even look like she actively dislikes her husband while simultaneously have her act OOC so they can blame HER and her actions for Anakin’s reactions and anger and overall Fall

How I think this arc is not irredeemable and that with some fixes it could be done decently— decently, not well, because a lot of this arc’s problems are also due to preexisting writing choices throughout the show

(Ok whoops this turned into a half Clovis arc rant half entire TCW Anidala commentary)

So firstly I wanna start that yes, I am fully aware that TCW is meant to fill in the gaps between AOTC and ROTS and help explain why Anakin’s mindset in the final movie is what it is and justify his Fall. Of course we need to show some Vader foreshadowing throughout the series, and in some places it is executed very well, notably the Mortis arc, the Bad Batch arc, the Wrong Jedi arc, as well as others that I can’t cite off the top of my head currently because I might have a mild touch of heat exhaustion wooo I need to get off the beach.

But it also has some rather hamfisted Vader foreshadowing stuff too. Like, y’all know the fandom joke where it’s like “Anakin: *Accidentally Leaves The Toilet Seat Up*. The Background Music: *BLASTS the Imperial March*” but like, they actually really do that. Like the time where they have Anakin take out a terrorist about to blow up an entire ship full of people and then play the Imperial March afterwards and imply he’s a “cold-blooded killer” just to defend the moral purity of the two people who were gonna stand there and let the ship blow in the name of idealism.

I’m getting off topic but yeah, sometimes the show’s Vader foreshadowing makes sense, sometimes it’s pretty forced, and the Clovis arc DEFINITELY leans towards the forced side, and when they try to force more of Darth Vader into Anakin at a point where he shouldn’t quite be there yet, it screws with his entire character.

This is particularly shown in the majority of the show’s takes on Anakin’s relationship with Padmé. Namely, they tend to forget nearly the entirety of AOTC with the exception of the Tusken murder scene, then forget even more of ROTS up until the point where Anakin strangles her on Mustafar. Basically, they take the truth that it was Anakin’s unhealthy attachment to Padmé that sparked his Fall, but then they decide to run with it where almost every single interaction he has with her in the damn show is him being a toxic overbearing dick to her and her acting like she mildly tolerates him at most and definitely doesnt respect him as like, I guess a way of showing what happened on Mustafar is in character for them???? Ugh, I’ll explain further.

So with Anakin’s aggressive possessiveness towards her. We know Anakin has possession and attachment issues. We know he’s a clingy needy whiny anxious mess who’s constantly afraid of losing or driving away the few people he has pinned his entire happiness on. We know he leans unhealthily on Padmé to provide the majority of his emotional support. We know he’s convinced himself he can’t live without her. But never, NEVER is it seen in the movies where his possessiveness turns into outward aggression towards her or this douchey pushiness. Never does he treat her like his property, like she belongs to him.

Not until Mustafar.

Not until he’s raving, half out of his mind with the warring emotions over the atrocities he’s just committed, until he’s begging her to understand where he was coming from, begging her and the child to stay with him and justify his decision, until he sees Obi Wan and sees her backing away from him, leaving him, and he PANICS because oh no no no you can’t abandon me, I need you, doN’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME. And he lashes out and tries to force her to stay, punish her for leaving and doubting him, and he puts that hand around her throat.

And that is supposed to be when we know he’s crossed the line, when we’re supposed to be horrified, where we know he’s lost himself, because he has NEVER ACTED LIKE THAT BEFORE.

Now how does Anakin act before? In the movies? He’s deferential to Padmé in almost every other scene they’re in together.

In AOTC, yeah he stares at her a bit creepily from a distance, he says awkward things and does goofy stuff to impress her, but he does Not get in her face. The few times he does invade her space, she flat out tells him: stand back. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t say that. Don’t interrupt me. And Anakin always, always backs off, respects her wishes. He follows her lead and lets her call the shots both on Naboo when he’s supposed to be protecting her and when she organizes the Geonosis rescue and once they arrive where she flat out tells him “I’m a Senator, I’ll handle this, just back me up”, and he’s all but just “ok yes queen”.

But they aren’t married then. Fine, take ROTS. It’s a movie all about Anakin’s issues but even then, when he’s worried about Padmé dying, he tells her he’s worried and that he can’t lose her, but he still keeps a distance. He doesn’t constantly hover and loom over her. If anything, Padmé, both in ROTS and AOTC is always the one to approach Anakin and close the distance when there’s conflict. When Anakin is upset, he averts his eyes and distances himself, tries to draw in on himself and brood silently, and we’ve seen it in Palpatine sometimes (of course with bad motives but he still does), but Obi Wan and Padmé both especially needing to be the ones to come over, turn his face to them and be like “hey, look at me, I care about you, what’s wrong”. Padmé SAYS in ROTS when he’s feeling specifically conflicted about losing Padmé, “don’t shut me out” and has to come over to him because he’s retreated into a corner of the room to scowl angstily out the window. Anakin does NOT get overbearing and possessive of her or get in her face, not once in the films.

In the fucking show? The Clovis arc, while perhaps the worst offender, isn’t even close to being the first time Anakin has been overly pushy and aggressive with Padmé, or acting like she’s something he owns, From that time in the Senate Hostage ep where he’s bugging her about ditching work and all but acting like incels texting like “awww but babe my dick hurts :(”, from the FIRST Clovis disaster ep where he’s childishly trying to screw up Padmé’s mission, to the Clovis arc in season 6

And this is where they just roll right in with their “oh so Anakin’s an overbearing, entitled douche” bit with the interaction he has with Pads and he’s trying to talk her out of taking the Clovis assignment and he says something along the lines of “as your husband, I demand you don’t do this”.

Hwat. The Fuck.

What kind of caveman-esque, 1800’s-ass man of the house whom my wife must obediently serve kinda entitled-ass BULLSHIT?!?!?!?

Like, I’m sorry, I really am, but that is just completely out of left field and not like Anakin at all. I mean to the point that when he’s an evil Sith Lord trying to talk her into taking over the galaxy with him, EVEN THEN he does not include “Padmé you must join me because I’m your husband and you do as I say” sort of domineering assholerly.

Anakin does not push Padmé around. He does not TRY to assert authority over her or try and force her to do shit. Not only because she doesn’t put up with that kinda shit for a second, but because Anakin respects Padmé; he will treat her with respect. He always has, and sometimes like in this arc it really doesn’t feel like he does.

Now of course Padmé’s response to the “I own you” declaration is “fuck you, asshole, I do what I want” and doubling down on her decision, and then decides to go even harder on the mission if only to spite her douche husband (and we’ll get to Padmé’s characterization in a bit) which is a very different kind of Anidala conversation we see in the show as opposed to the movies (also discussed later).

Now, the reason for Anakin’s overbearing douchery ties directly into an overarching problem in TCW— honestly, one of the very few issues I have with this show, but the problem is that it touches nearly the entire thing —and that is they almost completely reworked Anakin’s personality to be more hyper-masculine alpha male.

This is a topic I’ve discussed on my blog before, but the gist is that in the movies, Anakin was not the typical male heroic protagonist and DEFINITELY not what people expected from Future Darth Vader The Masked Brutish Male Power Fantasy. He was awkward, he was shy, he was soft spoken, he was clumsy around the girl he liked, he was very openly romantic, he liked frolicking in fields and candlelit dinners and snuggling. Two of the most important people in his life were soft, feminine women and he openly loved them very dearly and very gently— and he deferred to them when he felt it was right, as I’ve mentioned before. He CRIED when he was upset and was messy and emotional. And fanboys hated this with a burning passion. They couldn’t project their power fantasy onto this!!!! The Anakin critics were a HUGE part of the mob who crucified the prequels to the point of chasing both Anakin actors practically out of the movie industry in general.

The Clone Wars writers were obviously petrified of this happening again. So their solution, as has always been Star Wars’s solution to hateful fans being upset about an innocent character, is to completely rework them, hide or retcon all the undesirable qualities, and act like everything was all fixed. Now don’t get me wrong, there are aspects of TCW Anakin that I adore. As I’ve also mentioned before, they got his humor, his cleverness, his eagerness to do the right thing, to help people, his relationship with Obi Wan and Ahsoka and his men, they got that all perfectly. But the rest??? TCW’s solution to the criticism of Movie!Anakin was to turn him into an agressive, dominant, violent shadow of everything “soft” he was in the movie

Now, he speaks loudly and more deeply. Now, he’s cocky and overconfident and while yes he was arrogant in the movies, now it’s dialed up to like an 11. He never cries, never even THINKS to show a negative emotion that’s not Manly Rage And Aggression(TM). And then there’s the way he is around the women in his life. No more awkwardness or shyness, now he makes jokes about being a “ladies man” and does whatever the fuck flirting he does with Miraj Scintel even though the Anakin from the movies would have needed like every scrap of his self control just to look at her without insta-murdering her face. And then there’s how he is with Ahsoka and Padmé. He is muuuuch more of a loud brash dudebro around them who pushes his weight and is kind of controlling and their solution is just to have the both of them be Strong Women(TM) who Fight Back whenever he tries it too hard with them.

With Ahsoka, it’s not too bad because it’s a brand new dynamic and she’s a rather agressive firecracker personality herself when we first meet her, so the constant Snips n’ Skyguy snipefest works for them. For Padmé? It just means that in far too many episodes they’re in there’s a point where Anakin says something Eh and Padmé gets mildly irritated to actually annoyed with him for it and she’ll talk down to him and then there’s an argument between them because he’s bullheaded and she’s a Strong Woman. Why do I consider these out of character?

In the movies, despite the flaws, Anidala is a couple who actually tries to communicate. Anakin feels open to speak about his troubles to Padmé and her to him (for the most part, she definitely has a savior complex and a tendency to squash her own shit so she can help deal with both Anakin’s and the galaxy’s at large) when they’re worried or concerned about something and they want to talk it out, so they’ll talk it out!

The problem with Anidala isn’t that they don’t communicate, it’s that they try but also only do it by halves because they hate fighting. They’ll talk, Anakin will say something that Padmé might disagree with— the fascism discussion in the Naboo field in AOTC, the question of whether the Republic is just or not in TPM —and she’ll try and correct him if she feels he’ll listen, but if he doubles down, she’ll go “ok you know what, agree to disagree, let’s not fight” and she subtly changes the subject because she hates fighting with him. If Pads says something Ani doesn’t like— telling Obi Wan about them in ROTS, some emotional advice she tries to give in both movies —he’ll flat out shut down and be like “I don’t want to talk about this, let’s drop it” and then seek out cuddles or affection as a distraction.

And that brings us back to the Clovis arc. The scene where the “as your husband” line occurs. Anakin is trying to talk Padmé out of doing this not because he’s jealous. Maybe he was jealous the first time he met Clovis and saw Padmé being all cute n’ fond with her old flame, but this time it seems almost entirely because last time ended in catastrophe and he’s genuinely worried for Padmé and feels she’s not thinking wisely, that she’s putting herself in danger.

However, Anakin is deciding to voice these concerns in Possessive Dudebro Pushing because of the aforementioned misguided Vader Foreshadowing and Toxic Masculinity. Padmé? Is not even CONSIDERING what he has to say, is just breezing on through and shutting him down at every turn and generally acting like he’s a dumbass who doesn’t have a clue about anything.

Now, it is very in character for Padmé Amidala to be all “I’m right, you’re wrong, fuck you don’t get in my way”. HOWEVER, they aren’t framing this as solely Padmé having a goal and bulldozing her way through the situation. That’s not how they frame this.

They frame this as: Padmé is embarrassed that she misjudged the situation wrong the last time and embarrassed even further that Anakin had to step in and get her out of trouble— which he brings up —and probably remembers that he made fun of her while he did it—

(Timing out to say that THAT scene was also OOC; they once more wanted a Vader parallel what with Anakin’s silhouette when he opens her cell door and the way Padmé’s sleeping pose is identical to Leia’s in ANH. But Anakin basically steps in and gives her this condescending-ass “awww the little wife’s gotten in over her head like I SAID she would, good thing I’m here to rescue her!” bit that’s really just MEAN. It’s not like him and Obi Wan’s/Ahsoka’s teasing snark whenever they have to pull each out of trouble, he’s just kicking her while she’s already down. Really, Anakin’s reaction should have been a lot less humorous and a lot more pissy; she didn’t listen to him, didn’t trust him, and ended up in danger because of it. It’d be a surly and upset “I told you so”, not an amused one.)

—and now it seems much more like Padmé is solely taking this assignment to spite Anakin for being a dick and to pettily prove that she knows what she’s doing rather than any sense or urge to do the right thing. And....... childish pettiness????? Is not Padmé. And yet, she has the entire immature “don’t tell me what to DO, Anakin” attitude this whole arc that amounts to WAY more than just the normal response she would have to his overcontrolling dickishness

And once again, it’s because she, like everyone else in the episode, seems to think the problem Anakin has is that he’s jealous of Clovis. He’s not, not really. He’s insecure, yes, but he also knows Clovis is a bag of dicks as well, and trusts that Padmé knows she’s better than that. His problem isn’t fears he’ll lose Padmé, it is entirely that Padmé isn’t listening to his concerns, doesn’t trust him, is going into a situation they both know is unwise, and he is frustrated he’s not in a position where he can look out for her since he feels she’s not looking out for herself. And, he’s not entirely wrong. Padmé IS being reckless and kind of irrational solely to prove a point. He just goes about it pretty much entirely the wrong way, which is what you can really say is the cause and effect formula for any problem Anakin Skywalker encounters and subsequently makes worse.

And then there’s That Scene. The one where Clovis tries to force a kiss on Padmé and Anakin freaks and almost kills him for it. I’ll start off by quoting another Tumblr user on that very scene by saying in regards to Clovis: “that bitch deserved that”. The almost murder? Maybe not that far, but the initial hitting for disrespecting someone’s “no”? Yep, that was deserved.

My first criticism is that Anakin shouldn’t have even had time to attack him because why the fuck wasn’t Padmé instantly kneeing him in the balls?!?! Like Padmé is not prone to violence immediately, no, but she can will and does defend herself immediately when she needs to— her right punch knocked someone tf out once when she was pissed —and she already gave him a warning that his advances were not welcomed.

Now, I am absolutely not victim blaming. I am NOT saying it is the fault of a woman (I’d be a hypocrite if I did and that’s all I’ll say on THAT), or of anyone when faced with sexual harassment, if they don’t fight back for whatever reason, no matter how capable of doing so they may be. What I’m saying is that considering her previous behavior and personality and the fact that the show NEVER goes deep enough into explaining heavy stuff like why victims might freeze or NOT fight back when faced with harassment, I feel like showing her not attempting to defend herself at all is kinda strange.

Now, Padmé’s utter passiveness to the situation aside, we’re going back into toxic masculinity and misunderstood interpretations of how Anakin displays possession. While I’ll repeat that Clovis deserved consequences for the forced kiss, Anakin going full caveman defending his property jealous rage just. Doesn’t feel right to me. Again, I think Anakin would probs hit him and put the fear of living god into him, maybe even I’d buy the attempted murder if they framed it as Anakin doing it because he hates those who force their will on others and disrespect women, but the whole that’s MY wife and you’re touching her shite just once more feels alpha male aggressive ridiculousness. Like again, I understand Anakin is possessive of Padmé, but not like this. I’m sorry, but I just cannot see that, him fighting over her like she’s a scrap of meat.

Like, I completely think she’s in the right tho to put them on a break after he does it though. That’s well within her right.

But then onto the FINAL part where after Clovis goofs and fucks them all over and then dies, she forgives him and blames herself for everything and apologizes. And like, that part I do see as in canon and character for her and for Anakin. He doesn’t like to admit his mistakes, her mistakes weigh on her and when she fails to fix or save someone, she falls into depression and upset and self-blame.

But the fact that Clovis died because Anakin dropped him? Anakin Skywalker, who scaled an entire elevator shaft carrying two people over his back who combined probs weighed more than Padmé and Clovis. Anakin Skywalker, who’s used the Force to lift tons of debris, who’s used it to hold back explosions, Anakin Skywalker, MOST POWERFUL FORCE USER IN HISTORY WHO TENDS TO RELY ON BRUTE STRENGTH FOR MOST SHIT ANYWAY. That Anakin couldn’t pull two people over a ledge?!?!?!?!? This has always bothered me.

Like to be honest; I feel this entire episode could have been so fixable too. Like keep Anakin’s obsessive worry over Padmé making a mistake, keep the best part of the arc which is his talk with Obi Wan where Obi Wan tries to connect with him and explain that he’s not alone, all Jedi have emotional struggles and have loved, if perhaps he wants to TALK to someone about it, Obi Wan is here for him, like that? That’s okay!

Just ugh ffs, get rid of the nasty Anakin treating Padmé like a naughty dog who won’t obey him and the Padmé purposely acting unwisely to spite Anakin plot. Have the entire conflict be both of them being upset that the other doesn’t trust them, doesn’t believe in their advice, keep Padmé’s speech about how marriages NEED trust and compromise to survive, take all of Anakin’s aggression towards Padmé and transfer it to aggression towards Clovis, like make the conflict him menacing the guy if he hurts Padmé again just because he’s being overprotective and “if you won’t look out for yourself I will” and Anakin getting constantly checked for not being able to control his emotions, Padmé can tell him off for being overprotective instead of overaggressive and his possessiveness can instead show through him arguing that he needs to keep her safe at all costs. THAT can be the argument.

And if they want the Vader foreshadowing? Like real, in-character Vader foreshadowing??? Tbh, drop the Clovis beatdown, drop the machoness towards Padmé, and just have Anakin blatantly DROP the douchebag at the end of the episode instead of his hand slipping. Make him choose to ACTIVELY kill Clovis. Like THAT, Anakin taking the law into his own hands and deciding that he knows best and this guy is dangerous and has fucked up one too many times, there being an opportunity where there’s an chance to save Clovis when they’re alone without Pads, “be a Jedi, Padmé wouldn’t want this, do the right thing” Clovis might say, and we can see Anakin’s face considering, and then he just “Long Live The King”s him and lets him fall and die, THAT is an in-character Vader foreshadowing.

Then at the end of the episode, we can have Anakin lie to her, say Clovis slipped, say it was too late, and Padmé can believe him, thank him for trying. Then there’s the same thing where Padmé apologizes, and we can have a callback to the convo about trust and she adds that she’s sorry that she didn’t trust him, and when she says that, we zoom in on Anakin’s guilty face.

There. That’s how I’d fix these episodes

And THERE, I think I’ve complained about everything, I am SO sorry for the gigantic ass post and response, I’ll add a read more once I’m on my laptop and not on the beach on mobile.

But yeah anon, I hope that satisfies your question xD

Once again, I welcome discussion if y’all either agree with me or if you have any differing opinions, I know my takes are far from hot for several people and I’m curious to see what others think!

#i’m SO sorry i got carried away but yeah this arc and one or two others (one in particular) are the only arcs that kiiinda set me off tbh #long post #ask #anon #one (1) hot mess #queen of my heart #star-crossed lovers #sw the clone wars #anidala #the clone wars

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wolfsgravity · 3 years

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I can’t sleep so I’m just thinkin’ about my range of Pokémon romantic F/Os. This series has meant so much to me for so long, and I know F/Os from that source make up a decent portion of my list. I’d feel more embarrassed about it if I didn’t make it abundantly clear that Pokémon is one of the most pervasive influences in my life from an exceedingly young age.

I just. I dunno. I find my collection of Pokémon series F/Os so interesting.

I’m just gonna ramble a bit.

I’m going to talk in Generational order, because my 1am brain couldn’t decipher a more cohesive timeline if it tried.

Giovanni is a funny one. As a kid, his character in the show intimidated me a little. But I really loved Team Rocket on some level. They were my first Pokémon villain organization, and with the Gen III games having Aqua and Magma, I decided pretty early that Team Rocket was my team. I had a stint in Magma since when I was young, I thought I’d specialize in Fire types, but eh it didn’t stick. No team really stuck nearly as much until Team Skull! So I had a lot of time for my intimidation from Giovanni to evolve into a fearful respect, to a mild devotion… by the time I played Let’s Go! and Ultra Moon, I was more than a little excited to see him in game. As in, I would quietly cheer when he appeared on my screen, in some weird giddy manner. It was only a matter of time before I realized I was crushing hard.

Steven Stone (he has a full name so more often than not I use it when referring to him) probably didn’t make the biggest impact on me in the original Gen III games? Hoenn was my favorite region for a while (in part due to pre- “Hoenn confirmed” hype), but he didn’t have a huge role in Ruby/Sapphire. Maybe I noticed him first in Emerald? I wish I could remember my real first inkling of crush on him, because I just remember when I played Omega Ruby… I was already obsessed with him. He showed up for the first time in game and I squealed. I spent the whole game seeking him out and already making romantic passes at him in my around-19-year-old head.

I am counting Grovyle for this, but it bears repeating that my S/I for the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games is a Pokémon too. Those Mystery Dungeon games enamored me as a teen! I got to BE! A POKEMON!! So I probably got Explorers of Time/Darkness for DS not long after it released in 2008. I was so excited to have Gen IV Pokémon to be and battle and recruit, ugh, this game meant so much to me. I will always remember being part of Wigglytuff’s Guild super fondly. And like, as I am super susceptible to mental role play, putting myself in my characters shoes (or lil toe beans I guess) has always been second nature for me. So a dashing Grovyle just jumped into my silly life and was the most honorable and misunderstood character and I am not even joking when I say I fell for him in my first playthrough. And I’ve played through it a lot. I was always jealous of Celebi. I hate every Dusknoir I see to this day. *chefs kiss* Good game.

Gen V is “oops all F/Os” Gen, where to even start..

Just kidding, N is the obvious choice to start for me. He was love at first sight. He just, ugh, he cares about Pokémon SO MUCH. I literally don’t know how to even expand on this. He literally rode the Ferris Wheel with the player character in the game, and I WASNT supposed to interpret that as a date? Wack. It was a date. I love him so damn much. Next question

Elesa comes next because I’ve always thought she was stunning. I mean, duh I guess, she’s canonically a model. Also, Electric types are in my top 3, behind Fairy and somewhat tied with Fire, so she was a woman after my own heart. Her Emolga kinda wrecked my team and I respect that. Also, she loves puns. So again. Woman after my own heart. The only reason she’s still listed as Crush and not as Dating is because she intimidates me. She’s out of my league and I worry she’d only see me as a friend. Well, not “only”, her and Skyla are bffs and that also looks fun. I just. Can’t imagine her romantically being interested in me sometimes. Heh.

Grimsley was a crush that came on yeeeaaaars after his Gen, and it hit me like a freight train. I swear, he made very little impression on me in B/W, because I was young and I was just excited to possibly see N again as champion. I was a little shit, okay. I also never played B2/W2 all the way through, which is a huge stain on my Pokémon record. Anyways. When he showed up in Sun/Moon, I gasped. I was like, that’s a familiar face. Why is he hot now? (The answer is we was always hot, and I just had a few years to grow between games). But like, I kind of tamped it back down? I think I legit tried to tell myself around Sun/Moon era that I can’t keep finding Pokémon characters hot, because I was drooling over another one in Moon. Anywho. Grimsley kept popping up as fanart on my Tumblr dash for a while and by the time I pulled him in Pokémon Masters, I slipped into love. Whoops.

Professor Sycamore, probably not my proudest moment of fandom. He was another one I liked from the very introduction. I made fun of him in equal measure, but I affectionately referred to him as “Professor Hotdad” for an embarrassingly long amount of time. He’s not even the oldest of my Pokémon F/Os. One of my other Pokémon F/Os is canonically a father. But nope. Sycamore was Hotdad. That all said, he did make me smile like a crush-stricken schoolgirl when he talked in game so it wasn’t all just memey objectification. I do love him dearly.

Gen VII! Alola! Guzma! Oh man, like I’d stated earlier, Team Skull really nestled it’s way close to my heart the way no team had since Team Rocket. It wasn’t all because of Guzma, I really did like the group of ragtag misfits banding together and creating a family. Guzma was icing on the cake. Oh boy, he made my heart do funny little flips even when he was threatening me in game. I loved his design, I loved his character, the way he talked, I just. Ugh, I was down bad for ya boy in Moon and Ultra Moon. He’s actually the inspiration behind my main blog url: its-ya-boi-remington. The “Y’all are stupid!” line and face lives in my head rent free at all times. Guzma protection squad.

(Nanu isn’t a romantic so I won’t talk about him here, just know I’m not forgetting him!)

Leon was, believe it or not, my actual first Gen VIII crush. I saw that fashion disaster and felt a warm comfort from him. It didn’t help that I mentally read every character in Galar with some UK/British Isles accent, that sweetened the deal. I was actually gushing to a couple then-friends about Leon while we all played Sword/Shield together and they kind of mocked me about it. They chided me that Leon “doesn’t bat for my team” and said either of them would have a better chance with him if he were real. So I was a little downtrodden about Leon after that for quite a while. It wasn’t until a couple months ago when suddenly it hit me that A- He’s literally fictional and my version of him can like me regardless of what “team he bats for” and B- I’m nonbinary? So rules get thrown out the window, anyone who likes me is both a miracle and some kind of gay whatever way you spin it. So I let myself warm back up to him, though I’m still a little skittish from before.

Piers, I guess, as awful as it sounds, was initially a crush rebound. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d have been attracted either way. He’s a musician, a SINGER no less, and has that emo/punk vibe. But he’s also gentle and kind. Swoon. But it helped that I had my crush-feelers out full-force for a cutie in game to obsess over since I was still butthurt about my “friends” killing my crush on Leon. Obsess I did, and continue to do. I could probably snap this man over my knee like firewood he’s so lanky, idk why I put that in here but it’s staying. Piers is the one I most imagine jamming out with on a regular basis, and it makes performing for no one a bit more fun 🥰

I’m finally getting tired, I feel like I’ve been typing this for an hour. I probably have been. Ah geez now I gotta tag all these F/Os lmao. Thanks for letting me ramble.

#all my Pokémon romantic ships ahoy #ship: darkpoppunk #ship: it’s ya bois #ship: despite being french #ship: natural number one #ship: da boss’s favorite #ship: she’s electrifyin #ship: taking a gamble on you #ship: I got lost in your eyes #ship: time stops for you

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fanficaficionado · 3 years

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okay, i know i said i would be starting with things i knew and loved. hell, i even had a fic from the fandom im currently ass-deep in all lined up!! but then i procrastinated, and i lost motivation, got distracted by my scheduled post-holiday shutdown, and something else finally kicked my ass into gear. so this blog's first true introduction to the world will not, in fact, be a post where i worship the very ground my favorite fic writers walk upon.

no, today we are talking about Ascent into Madness by cesium_sheep

((spoilers, obviously))

Now im going to preface this by saying that this criticism is subjective and based in my opinion. I did genuinely enjoy this story, and i did not at any point feel the urge to launch myself into the sun with nothing but the pure force of my rage, causing the sun to explode and consume planet earth in a scorching hell-blast and decimating all life on our tiny little space rock, which even some of my favorites are guilty of because in some stories characters just love to waffle about ((especially in my preferred reading material which puts romance at a very significant focus)). This story just isn't for me.

I'm going to explain why, and believe me when i say i am being as gentle as i physically can with this story because it is not objectively offensive to my very being, It's a good read and setting aside the problems i have with it i enjoyed it.

I keep repeating that i don't hate this story because i do not want to be accused of baseless hate, not because of reputation or anything but because being accused of something i know i didn't do sets off the same sensation that i get from rubbing my fingernails on egg cartons, the one of the back of my brain being assaulted by the mayonnaise-coated fingers of satan himself. Damn i should really get to the criticism before this just becomes an in depth description of my very soul's adverse reaction to the cream in queen anne chocolate cherries.

anyways.

The thing about this story is that, to me, it feels.. unfinished. Or at the very least like it wandered off its intended course. It leaves me with a feeling of mild dissatisfaction and the taste of confusion in my mouth. I think this problem is best summarized by the fact that, in the first chapter, it is set up that rose is in some sort of hospital, and that dave thinks she is in the grasp of some delusion, and the second chapter sets up the retroactive explanation for how it got to this point. See, what i expected was to be caught up to that point in the story, reach that point in time again, and then progress from there.

But that first chapter?? With the hospital, the delusions, the brick through the window with the radio attached?? Never brought up again, not even once. It is completely discarded and never even thought about. The story even stops trying to set up that scene after a certain point.

To put it in homestuck terms, because i'm a loser, a time player, and come on we're talking about a homestuck fic here you know i have to do this, it feels like we started a loop and then branched off the alpha timeline so completely we aren't even a part of the metaphorical timeline-tree anymore. It nags at my brain man, it's one of the main things that fuelled my motivation in writing this. It feels lost and wandering and it confuses me in a bone deep sorta way.

The second thing that gets to me is the complete lack of information presented about what, exactly, the fuck is going on. I have no idea how we got from point A to point B, not just because it completely disconnects from point A not even halfway through, but also because there's a lot of plot threads thrown in haphazardly and then never extended upon. There's a mention of jake and john's respective guardians knowing something about the story's big bad and all the mystical bullshit that follows along behind him, but that is never followed up on even a little. No one questions why they know, despite this information being so rare that literally only two families and a single group of aliens seem to have access to it. It just is a thing and then whoops, hand musta slipped because that bad boy is out the window and is facing the combined nonexistent mercy of gravity and this ten story drop.

The main plot has this same problem, in feeling like you get just enough info to keep it going forward. There's a sword in rose's umbrella basket or whatever the hell it's called, and it's implied a future dave put it there for his past self, but do we get confirmation that it was him?? Do we see that loop completed?? No, it is just used as a driving force for rose to try and push the fact that dave's got Timey powers. It feels like i'm being pulled by the hand through this story because it only gives just barely enough information to keep this crazy train rolling and then goes so far as to leave fucking time loops hanging there incomplete which okay i might be getting a little peeved about that but can you blame me?? Can you really blame me at all??

Maybe i am judging the plot too harshly, after all i was forewarned not to read for the plot in the summary because it's pretty slow and wandering. So let's get into something else then, yes?? Let's hop to the relationships.

The relationships, too, fall prey to this complete lack of any meaningful focus on any piece of information ever. I'd swear the writer was allergic if that didn't seem too harsh a description. It's a whole lot of telling without any showing, a cardinal sin in writing. We get a conversation with kanaya that doesn't suffer the disconnect from all things that the rest of the story seems haunted by. It's actually really a neat little conversation and i find it kind of wholesome how kanaya talks about rose and i personally think this interaction to be entirely too short. Then kanaya mentions karkat and apparently there's some of davekat's standard romantic tension happening off-screen because dave starts to get flustered and ponders what that means. And once again a plot thread is thrown to the winds because we never get another whiff of it.

Actually on the topic of davekat, dave just naturally gravitates to karkat and then they're stuck together like glue, so stuck in fact that dave dies for karkat because dave apparently forgets the golden rule of "If you have time to jump in front of someone then you have time to push them out of the way" and then ignores the added bit i spitefully wrote on the ancient stone tablet of Things That Make Sense in neon orange sharpie that says "Especially if you have time to have a discussion about your choices with an ambiguously-dead girl. Pull your thumb out of your ass, dave, nobody has to die here, magic option number three was not the one you picked."

Of course, this is a fanfiction, these are characters i already know. I know how these characters would interact, i know how their relationship develops in-canon and i know that given the chance these fuckers become goddamn inseparable. But that doesn't excuse the fact that it is all tell and no show, we dont see how it gets from "You're one of the only familiar faces in a group of strangers and i am not about to start interacting with new people unless i have to" to "Here let me die heroically for you and then be revived for no explainable reason besides Because The Wizard Of God Says So." I have no reason to be invested in this or even give a half-ounce shit despite it literally becoming something that the climax hinges on. And then rose and kanaya are just inexplicably,, together?? Right at the end?? And while i am happy that the lesbians get to be in love everything is off screen and nothing is ever explained, not even like one time, and god it's just so confusing. I am so confused.

But again, maybe i'm being unfair, once again the very tags of this fic are telling me that the relationships are not the focus and only really tagged so people can filter it out. I suppose i should judge the characters, then.

From what i remember there are sixteen characters, excluding ((who i believe to be, as it is once again not explained or explicitly stated to be)) caliborn at the end, with speaking roles. Five of those characters retain any narrative relevance for more than a nanosecond. A good chunk of the trolls arent even mentioned by name, with eridan and i think sollux being mentioned, and who i think to be sollux speaks when rose and dave are first brought to the trolls' apartment but again, the fog of uncertainty clouds all things and i don't have my handy dandy leafblower on me to airblast that shit out of my way. Of the five characters with any focus on them, two are relegated to the role of supporting character, with karkat joining that number more often than not. That leaves us with dave and rose, who are ultimately as a whole unaffected by their experiences. They do not learn anything, they do not grow or change. Sure rose freaks out about her perception of reality, but that falls flat because it's more tell and no show again. Dave freaks out, as he rightfully should in this situation, but there is no arc. There is no significant change in anything but moving toward the boss fight with the big baddie.

There aren't any particularly interesting interactions between these characters, either, i cannot recall one time in which i laughed, or felt much of anything really. They all fall into a state of Existing while also feeling like they aren't doing a whole lot. It's more noticeable in retrospect but these characters just Do Not feel alive, they seem incredibly flat at times and it's hard to notice while you're reading but looking back it stands out so painfully and it makes me very sad.

If i'm not supposed to read for the plot, and i'm not supposed to read for the relationships, and i can't read for the characters, then what is this story meant to be read for?? The only other thing i can think of is the mystery and sorry pal, but that's a plot, which we have already established doesn't really have a whole lot going for it because while your mystery sure is there it is currently stinking up that rug you shoved half the answers under because those mysteries aren't the ones you want to focus on.

Is it simply meant to pass the time?? Is there no deeper purpose besides keeping yourself entertained as the hours tick by?? Because if so, it at least accomplished that. Despite its faults, it kept my attention for the entire fifty one chapters, and it passed my time.

There are other nitpicks i have, but that's more based around the writing style on a more technical level. The chapters are too short for my personal taste, and there are far too many cliffhangers, these things i will not condemn as the writer gave a good reason for the latter and obviously no writer is obligated to churn out 2,500 words per chapter unless they damn well want to.

Ultimately, this story is neither good nor bad. It is straightforward in that it burns any other plot threads besides the main one on the sacrificial alter of The Writer Does What The Writer Wants, it's a bit too ambiguous and under-explained for my tastes, but there is nothing egregiously offensive in it. It is a story that exists. I wouldn't read it again, but i wouldn't not read it again, and i don't even come close to regretting the time i spent reading it ((outside of the fact that it is currently almost nine am and i haven't slept but that one is my own fault)).

I scrolled passed this story in its beginnings, assuming it would not be particularly mindblowing, and now that i've read it i know that i was entirely correct. Read it if you want, or don't, just don't go in expecting something life changing. I suggest picking out a spot on your schedule where you have nothing to do and will no doubt be bored out of your mind. I sincerely doubt you'll regret it.

#homestuck #homestuck fanfic #fanfiction #god what else do i even tag this as. fuckin..#fanfiction critique #????#i feel like a child #i am but a little boy lost in the deep dark woods and i have no idea where i am going #there is no map for this shit #also as i write this tag it is now 9:52 am #a whole hour after i finished writing this monstrosity #because editing this stuff to make it somewhat coherent is a task and a half #i ramble worse than any homestuck character and i have proof too. go ahead. challenge me. i dare you. i know im right #i don't know why or how i got to the bit about queen anne chocolate cherries but i think its funny so fuck it its staying in #again if the author of this fic somehow comes across this and doesn't want this shit on my blog or wants to be tagged like let me know plea #i am trying desperately to not step on any toes or hearts here but i was not Raised so if i fuck up please just tell me #i dont wanna be publicly hung via tumblr anon attacks and callout posts that are poorly made at best and wildly inaccurate at worst #anyways thanks for reading i guess i have no idea how to tie this shit off and it Shows lol #hope i did okay #fuck it im not rereading this anymore im sending it out into the world #off you go little timmy suck it up and face the judgement of strangers

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 4 years

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tag ten friends game!

I was tagged by my buddy @monotremeinafedora!

I don’t want to bore you all with my life story (or like 10 questions but whatever) so I’m gonna put a cut down here

Name: Katie! but tbh people call me Kitty on so many social media sites that if I saw my real name online I wouldn’t even process that it was directed at me

Gender: female

Star Sign: I’m vaguely aware that I’m a taurus but every time I see someone talking about astrology it gets super complicated and it scares me

Height: 5'4″

Sexuality: aro/ace

Hogwarts house: oof I read those books in third grade and I didn’t exactly spend much time taking internet quizzes in 2010 so I have absolutely no idea but I like the idea of Hufflepuff cuz they remind me of the Amity faction from Divergent (granted I wouldn’t last a day in the Amity faction but that’s not important)

Fav animal: imagine being able to pick a favorite animal lmao couldn’t be

Dogs or cats: the question above I didn’t answer bc I’m indecisive but this one I can’t answer because I have a cat and two dogs and how can I choose a favorite? Like my 8-year-old dog is so sweet and cute and she likes going on walks for at least an hour with me and I love her but my 8-month-old dog is a piece of shit who tears people apart but she’s also really cute and she can be really fun when she’s not giving you really bad bruises bc you made the mistake of trying to play frisbee with her and now you have to walk around looking like someone dropped a fridge on your arms for two weeks but then what about cats right like my cat was like 12 or 13 when I got him last year and he’s an old man and he just curls up on my bed all day and sleeps on my Supernatural blanket and then I go to bed and he sleeps on my sweatshirt on the floor until like 8 am when he decides it’s a good time to crawl on my bed and tap me in the face until I wake up and ahhhhhh I just love themmmmm

Hour of sleep: I spend at least 12 hours lying in bed with the lights out and my phone away every night but how much of that is sleep and how much is eternally cringing at my horrible life decisions is unknown

Blankets: I. LOVE. BLANKETS. I have to move my stuff into college on Monday and I had an existential crisis trying to figure out what to do with my blankets like my mom got me a super soft, super warm cat blanket for Christmas specifically for school so that’s gonna come and I wanna bring my Supernatural blanket bc that’s good for a warmer night and I wanna bring my Frozen blanket because it’s so warm and fuzzy and I wanna bring my snowman blanket I got as a Christmas gift from dance last year bc it’s so cozy and I wanna bring my super soft blanket I got from work for Black Friday last year bc it’s super soft but I wanna bring the yeti blanket with the hood and buttons and mittens built in which I got from work the Black Friday before that one because duh who wouldn’t want to bring that and I wanna bring all my blankets right except I also have two weeks at home after I move my stuff in and I won’t have space to bring more blankets when I move in on the 31st bc half my duffel bag is going to be my giant stuffed Perry the Platypus I got from a friend a few months ago so I’m leaving my snowman one on the couch downstairs and my work one on my bed and my yeti’s gonna hang out by the closet with my similar Olaf blanket (that’s meant for little kids and does not fit which I didn’t know when I bought but but at least I worked at Target at the time so I got an employee discount?) probably until I come home for Thanksgiving and I’ll take my yeti blanket back with me then and wow this was a really long answer but in my defense it was a very open-ended question

Dream Job: I’m going to school for nursing, so that!

When and Why I’m here: uhhh idk what exactly it means by “when” bc I made my main blog @kittyhazelnut and my Supernatural blog @gabrielsbackbitches in like 2017ish (or whenever it was my fav character came back just to die again a month later) but this blog i made in May (idk the date but it was whenever I posted my pinned) so take your pick for that one. Why I’m here? I was talking too much about Phineas and Ferb on my main and I decided to make a side blog for it with no intention of it getting big (I mean my marvel blog @marvelbutmostlyloki has been around for a year or two and it has, like, 10 followers so clearly side blogs don’t always work out in my favor) and then I posted that screenshot of Vincent tweeting about Perry the Platypus statues replacing Confederate statues and people decided to follow me and now I exist purely to promote the new Phineas and Ferb movie to casual Phineas and Ferb fans (no jk I do love promoting the movie to casual fans but I do most of that on Twitter. I found a whole bunch of fun people in the Dwampyverse fandom and it’s like our own little private party in a dark corner of tumblr and it’s honestly the most fun I’ve ever had in a fandom, and that’s coming from someone who’s been in the Supernatural fandom for five years)

Reason for URL: I use the phrase “I would die for _______” way too much in my everyday life and I couldn’t think of a witty URL so I went with that lmao

Current time: 8:55 pm and I should probably stop staring at a screen in the middle of a dark room at 9 o’clock at night if I’m planning on being up and out of the house with a full face of stage makeup on in under 12 1/2 hours for my dance comp whoops

And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for... TAGS! It said to tag 10 people and a lot of my peeps were tagged in Grayson’s post so I don’t think (?) I’m retagging anyone? I’m only tagging PnF people because I genuinely have no idea which of my IRLs and online friends from non-PnF-related-things would recognize this as my account lol. also half of these people are in the Perryshmirz discord bc that’s where my people live lmao

@myperryshmirtzblog @mushipper713 @necroticcoffee @grayblebayble @eathotchip-and-bi @sorryformybadenglish @ill-change-my-name-to-larry @momphineasandferbmadeablog @fcrbfletcher

Obviously y’all don’t have to do it if you don’t want to :) and if you didn’t see your URL but you want to do it anyway, go for it! You can even say I tagged you and no one has to know! in fact, wait a second...

@you

Look, you’re tagged! You should do it too!

#not pnf #not phineas and ferb #my post #wdfptp talk

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rhabakoli · 5 years

Text

Not So Bad After All

by @rmwest9‘s request, i’ve done something. It’s fucking late, and my filter is turned off, so, pls, excuse my rambling. It’s what you wanted. Kinda. I think....

I also didn’t edit, I just want it OUT THERE.

Anonymous asked: Hey so can I request like...a hate to love with Hvitserk where she's like, "Nah man, you're a player. I don't mess with that." and has a complete misconception of him and just thinks he's a jerk but then they end up friends and whoops we're in love now how unfortunate. -rmwest9 who didn't make her writing blog her main blog like a FOOL (but what a cute fool)

Rae liked laundry duty. It was hard work, sure, but at the end of the day she was too tired to think about anything else than her bed and how many hours of sleep she’d get in.

Her arms were protesting, as she rubbed the soap in, trying to get the stained shirt back to its original off-white color. The other washers were conversing, gossiping, laughing. Rae could tell whenever an attractive male specimen walked by, bc then they’d erupt in giggles and whistles. Not that Rae didn’t like to watch some of them walk away, but - well, last time she acted on her attraction, it ended in stabbing and a bloody stain on her favourite dress. So she refrained from that, for the time being. “Ladies. How’s it going?” The man’s voice was sweet and charming, aiming to swipe them all of their feet. Rae had to be glad she was positioned with her back to him, because she couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. This kind of behaviour got her into trouble. She was a burned child. The other woman were chatting with him, handling him like their favourite son. Most of them were old enough for him to be their son, as it was. “I actually just came here to take a look at my laundry, I think I left a dagger in there somewhere.” Rae looked to her right, at the engraved dagger in the leather sheath. Aw, Odin. Why? She turned, cleared her throat and held up the dagger. “This yours?” Hvitserk looked over at her, smirked. “Yes, indeed it is.” He came closer and took it from her hand. “Whom have I to thank?” “Your queen, she assigned my tasks to me.” She tilted her head in a greeting. “Please excuse me, I have to return to said task.” He looked a bit befuddled at her dismissive behaviour, but he attributed it to the early morning hours. Who liked to wash clothes by hand this early? No one. He could understand her cloudy mood. He simply wished them all a nice day and left them with a wink.

“He is dreamy.” “He’s also very talented in bed.” “And how exactly did you acquire that knowledge?” “A friend.” Which meant she definitely had no Idea what she was talking about and just repeated the rumors going around Kattegat. Rae was walking behind them, carrying a basket of apples, gathered for the feast this evening, in celebrations of the queens ambassador coming to visit. The girls have been going on about the prince for what felt like an eternity. Sometimes Rae felt she was the only one who wasn’t blinded by royalty and glamour. She felt sad for them, sometimes. It had to be hard to be the centre of a whole nations attention. Other times, she still wished she was one of them. Life had to be much easier, once you didn’t had to worry about warm clothes and poor harvests. “What do you think?” She hadn’t expected her company to stop, much less to actually address her. She knew they held some disdain for her, as she usually refused to gossip with them. Therefore, she was confused. “About what?” “Prince Hvitserk.” Okay, well… Was she going to be honest, or keep them happy as to escape their judging and mean looks for the rest of the day? “I think he’s a spoiled, ignorant piece of horny royalty.” Harsh honesty it was… She didn’t hear their gasps, but instead her attention was pulled in by a male voice behind her. “That is not a very nice thing to say, darling.” Odin, why? Rae turned siedeways, glanced at the prince and then at the girls. They were obviously snickering at your situation, and were planning on feasting off it. There were at the source of the next gossip, not even Ivar himself could make them leave. Ubbe looked down at her, grinned, his very pretty, very blue eyes wrinkled around the edges. “I’m not saying it isn’t true though.” He crossed his arms and looked around. “Who’s Rae?” She sighed, and raised her hand. His eyebrows shot up and then he laughed. “This is perfect, wow.” Ubbe took the basket from her and held it out for one of the others to take. “Follow me, you’re expected.” Oh boy.

Ubbe stopped in front of Hvitserks quarters, turned to her and gave her a once over: “Please make him cry.” Then he opened the door and basically shoved her inside.

Rae stepped into the room and immediately wished to be somewhere else. Hvitserk sat in one of the big chairs by the window, dagger in his hand and - he cleaned his nails with it? “How may I help you?” A slow smile spread on his face, but he didn’t look up. “I think, the question is more how I might help you.” Rae didn’t understand, and she told him. “There’s a rumor going around.” There was a lilt in his voice, soft but teasing. “About your stuck-up personality, and how you used to be much more open and fun.” He stood up, walked over. He reminded Rae vaguely of a cat, ready to jump it’s prey. Which would make her the prey. She did not approve. “What do you care?” She let her polite facade fall, she’d risk getting punished if it meant he let her go. “I just think I could be… of help. Show you how to have fun.” His voice was dripping with honey, made her skin crawl. He sounded like the bastard that stabbed her. Rae had to get out. Now. “Thank you, I’d rather not catch a whore’s disease.” Before he could react - by slapping the disrespect out of her, maybe - she turned, hauled the door open and ran - no, correction - walked really fast out of there. She did not see Hvitserk sigh, his shoulders slumping as he cursed himself and his stupid mouth.

“Just talk to her. Normally.” “I tried. But everytime I see her, my brain just stops working.” Ubbe shook his head. “You’re hopeless. Just fuck it out of your system, man.” “I try.”

“Why is she so special anyways?”, Ivar asked. “I don’t know, she just is.”

“I hear Hvitserk has been wooing you?”, Emma asked. The blonde was working by Rae’s side, and was mostly a nice girl. A bit naive and not always the brightest, but nice. “If you mean by wooing ‘following me and keeping me from work’, then yes.” “You don’t like him then?” “Not particularly. He’s pushy and arrogant.” And, Odin be cursed, of course he chose that moment to appear by their side. “Is that considered to be better than ‘spoiled and ignorant?’” Rae didn’t let herself be pulled from her work, but instead chose to be rougher with the chicken. It was dead anyway, couldn’t feel it. “Don’t you have to be somewhere?” Chop. “England maybe?” Chop. “No.” Cho- the knife got stuck , and she had to slam both it and the chicken down on the wooden table, to get it through bone. Hvitserk’s eyes were fixed on her hands, and he briefly wondered if this has been a good idea. Maybe he should approach her when she’s not armed with a butcher’s knife.

So he told her. “I’ll come back later, when your hands are free.” “If that’s so, then let me tell you I’m on chopping duty for the rest of my life.”

“Why are you resisting so hard?” “Why are you so obsessed with me?” Hvitserk grinned. “Because you are special.” Rae stopped folding sheets and leveled at him. “I think special is code for ‘doesn’t sink to her knees and presents her open mouth at the first look’.” “I really like that mouth of yours though.” He really did. And not just because of the things he could put in it, but because of the things she said. Sometime around the last weeks did she lose her inhibitions. “Fuck off, your royal ass.”

Rae was at the market, getting groceries as not to starve at home, when she came across the princes. They were huddled around an old man, whispering to each other, talking to him, seemingly trying to calm him. “Rae!” Hvitserk, of course, has spotted her and waved her over. She went, not willing to make a scene this publicly. “Give me the furs.” “They are for the King, Hvitserk.” “I don’t care, I’ll take it up with him. Give them.” His voice was quite harsh, so she obeyed. All three of them seemed angry, tense. Rae took a step back, asked Ubbe what was going on. “Someone has robbed him of his clothes and furs, left him to freeze.” Indeed, he was wrapped in only thin rags, cuts and holes here and there. He was pitiful to look at, and Rae wished she had more furs with her.

Hvitserk crouched next to him and wrapped the furs around his shoulder and spread them over his lap.

“Can you identify who did it?”

The old man shook his head, eyes sad, pained.

Hvitserk looked at his older brother. “Take him to the great Hall, let's get him warmed up before he freezes.”

Ubbe agreed and helped him up and walked him down the market street.

Rae watched them go, then turned to Hvitserk. He was seething, visibly angry. At her questioning look, he snapped at her. “What? Any smart comments?”

She simply shook her head and then looked down at her empty hands. She'd have to go back and get jew furs…

One hand covered hers, where she'd intertwined them. “I'll take care of it, don't worry. Now, how about you go and bring the man some soup. I'm sure he'll appreciate a warm meal.”

His voice had gone from slicing to soft, almost carefully so, as he talked to her.

Rae nodded and turned on the spot, already thinking about what soup the victim would like.

Before the took a turn left towards the Great Hall, she looked back. Maybe Hvitserk wasn't so bad after all.

“Have you seen my brother?”

Hvitserk ducked into the kitchen, eyes frantically flitting around.

“Which one?”

“The tall one.”

“Which of them?”

“Are you mocking me?”

“Would never think of it, your royal ass.”

Hvitserk grinned, his eyes crinkling happily.

“If you'd only let me fuck you, I'd fill your filthy mouth.”

“If that's what you're dreaming off at Night, you better learn how to dream lucidly, because you'll never experience it otherwise.”

The two of them have come to some kind of friendship, which consisted mostly of Rae mocking him, and him trying to get under her skirt. But she's actually grown fond of him. He was fun, he was cheeky, and he did care for Kattegat. She still didn't approve of him sticking his cock where it's warm and wet, but as long as the participants were willing and happy, she guessed there'd be no reason to rage.

But that time at the market, and the resulting search for the asshole did show her a different side of him. A side she rather liked to have around. And one she definitely did not expect him to have. He'd employed her help in taking care of the poor robbed guy, then took her to the robbers family to cook them a meal because they looked half starved and frozen.

He stole a chopped up carrot from her place and munched down. “So, you seen Bjorn?”

“He walked down to the port, last time I did.”

“Did he say what he wanted?”

“Do I look like a messenger dove?”

He smiled, voice dropped an octave and he leaned closer, came all into her space.

“You definitely do look pretty, dove.”

“Oh by Odins Balls, will you fuck off already?”

He chuckled and raised his arms in a defensive pose. “I'm off. See you in my dreams, love.”

Rae grinned and shook her head. What an idiot.

It's been the windiest, coldest week of the year, and Rae felt ready to just drop dead and freeze. Almost everyone had gathered in the Great Hall, sharing heat, furs and food. It meant a lot of additional work for Rae and the others, who were constantly on their feet, their days seemed to stretch longer and longer, caused them to fall into their beds almost dead on their feet.

Today, Rae had found a silver of a quiet moment and took this opportunity to walk behind the house where the wind couldn't reach and just sit for a moment, alone, let her social abilities reload. Being around people could be hard, chafing. Like an open wound under a rough fabric.

Of course, she didn't stay alone for long.

“Ah, here you are.”

Hvitserk came to sit next to her, torso turned towards her as he braced his arm on his thigh. “I've been looking for you. I wanted to get some fruit, but there's none.”

“That's because we're out, Hvitserk.”, She answered, her eyes closed as she tried not to shiver too hard. It was overly warm inside, with all the bodies, and the contrast to the nordic cold was striking.

“Oh. Do you happen to know when there will be more? I've been craving something sweet for a while now.”

She ignored the innuendo, already used to them, as she shook her head. “Will be none for a while. Merchants can't reach us, with the weather and whatnot.”

He hummed. “Do we have something else sweet then?”

Rae groaned and opened her eyes, turning to him. “Hvitserk, sweet Hvitserk. I do not mean to offend you, but please shut up. I've come out here to be in the quiet for a while, it's so loud inside. Please don't take this from me.”

He recoiled at her sudden outburst, and then nodded, getting up. “I'll leave you, then. I apologize.”

Rae reached for him, catching his coat and holding on. “No, just…”

She looked up at him with her big brown eyes. “You can stay. Just, don't ask anything from me.”

He observed her face, then nodded, sat back down.

And so they remained, side by side, surrounded by silence that was only broken by the wind.

Rae smiled to herself. Never had she met someone, who could sit with her in silence and not succumb to mindless rambling just to fill it. It was nice.

So she turned, watched his profile and then was the first to break the quiet. “Thanks for being alone with me.”

A broad grin spread on the princes face. “Anything for you.”

Rae has been followed. There was this very sharp tingle at the back of her neck, a sick feeling to her stomach. It was fear. She knew it well.

She hoped to reach the freath hall before something happened, before he could get to her.

But, as always when it came to that abusive bastard, all hope was nigh. A hand shot out of an alley, grabbed her by the neck and stopped her, like a cat would hold a kitten.

“You have been avoiding me for way too long, darling.”

She was frozen in fear. How could she not. Last time.she barely got away with her life, how would it end this time?

“I've been watching you.”

The bastard wrapped an arm around her waist, pulled her back against him.

“I've seen you with the prince. Have you been spreading your legs for him? Taken him?”

The hand on her neck Squeezed, making it harder to breathe.

“You will pay, darling. I'll not raise bastards. Not even royal ones.”

His breath was hot on her skin, and she felt like shrinking away, tried so in fact, but it was no help.

“I will let you carry them, birth them, get attached, let you get a feel of being a loving, nurturing mother, and then I'll take them, kill them. I'll make you watch as their blood runs over my fingers.”

Even through his thick leather breeches, she could feel him grow hard. It made her skin crawl, her stomach revolt.

She jerked in his arms, rammed her elbow into his side. He cursed, his grip on her loosened and she used this opportunity to free herself, run.

The cold air felt like thousand needles to her chest, froze her lungs and she feared she'd die right there, trying to run.

Rae turned a corner and collided with someone. It sent her back, onto her back in the snow.

Her head hit the frozen floor, hard, made her see stars in the bright daylight.

“Odin, where did you come from?!”

Hvitserk was above her, hands on her face, fingers in her hair as he felt for any wounds. “Why would you run like there's a berserk chasing you?”

His concerned voice pierced her foggy head only slightly, but she flinched at the sound of 'berserk’. How had he known?

Hvitserk watched her, a dark feeling growing in his ribcage, as if something sinister was approaching. Or maybe it was just the thought of his friend getting hurt. He looked up at the noise of someone running, someone decidedly heavier than Rae. A rather tall, grubby looking man was running towards them, his face a mean mug if Hvitserk has ever seen one.

Immediately, alarms were going off inside his head. His hand went to the axe at his hip, thumb feeling the sharpness of it's blade, reassuring himself. It was with him when he needed it. He'd keep Rae safe, no matter what.

And, seeing as she was whimpering at the sight of this man, her eyes big and round and fearful, his heart broke a bit, then froze. He saw her hand going to her hip, where he knew her scar was.

The bastard.

He'd stopped in his tracks as he noticed Hvitserk watching him, and now he seemed unsure what to do. His eyes were piercing, angry, but his posture was that of an insane person. He paced, his shoulders hunched, his hands rubbing over his thighs and his side.

Rae's hand found the front of Hvitserks coat, wound her hand in, held on. “Please.”

He laid a hand to her cheek, but didn't take his eyes off the man. He'd make sure to get rid of him.

After being sure to have memorized his face well enough, he broke the eye contact and concentrated solely on Rae, on getting her inside. He hooked her legs over his arms, hugged her to his chest, amd carries her inside, straight into his room. On his way there, he barked at some of the servants to get clean clothes, a healer and to prepare a bath.

He didn't leave her side except for when the servants cleaned her up and made sure she'd not pass out. That's when he forced his brother's into an emergency meeting.

“Make sure to find him. He's attacked her before, I we can't let him run free.”

“Brother, are you out of your mind? Do you need to sit down?”

Hvitserks hand slapped down onto the table, his face furious. “I am sane enough. FIND. HIM.”

A knock on the door made them turn. A servant ducked inside, apologized and then addressed Hvitserk. “Rae is asking for you.”

More he didn't need. A last serious look to his brothers, then he was off.

It's been a couple rough days. The bastard had gone into hiding, the Kings men searching high and low, until they finally found him.

Hvitserk had smelled blood, didn't want to leave him alive. And Rae… well. She'd not left his bed yet, wrapped into furs, and some of his warmer shirts. He'd had a hard time, if he was honest. Joking about having her was one thing, but to actually have her present in his bed - he was weak. He wanted to crawl in with her and take in her scent and feel her skin. The thought of her staining his bed and clothes with her smell, it made him dizzy.

And then, as to remind him of his situation, her whimpers came back to mind. The fear on her face.

His thumb was caressing the axe's blade again.

The warriors around him were watching him closely, some of them concerned at his stormy mood, his obvious, palpable fury.

“Let's pick him up. No one kill him, he's mine.”

Rae was sitting up when he stormed in. He'd not expected it, halted only for a moment. Then he said her name, barely a whisper, and came over, sat by her side.

Her eyes went round at the sight if his hands, stained by blood, rough and used. “What did you do?”

He cupped her face, softly touched his forehead to hers. “He's gone.”

He angled his head, their noses rubbing together.

Rae reached up with one hand, caught his chin.

“You mean it?”

“Rae, would I lie to you?” He pulled back.

“I thought my heart shattered when I saw you this scared, I wanted to bring him down right then and there.”

His lips were ghosting over hers, and she didn't pull back. Quite the opposite. Even though his hands were stained red with dried blood, she pressed into his touch, her body tingling most pleasantly.

She hadn't expected this.

She jerked back, ignored the throbbing in her head at the sudden motion, ignored how Hvitserks hands immediately went to the back of her head, covered her wound and soothed her, keeping her calm.

Rae stared at him instead.

“I'm in love with you.”, She said. It was a surprised statement, like she'd just realized.

Hvitserk snorted a laugh, leaned forward and hid his face against her shoulder for a second. When he came back up, his expression was so happy, Rae had never seen him like this.

“My heart, this is what I've been waiting for all this time.”

And then he kissed her. Melted their lips together, pressed her close but minded her injury.

Rae went pliant under his hands, smiled against his lips.

Well.

Maybe he wasn't that bad after all.

#request #rmwest9 #Vikings #Hvitserk #Hvitserk x OC #Strangers to lovers #slow burn?#angst #trigger: abusive relationship #trigger: death #trigger: child murder #theres a dude that's a fucking psycho so expecct the unexpected.

34 notes · View notes

echoeternally · 4 years

Text

Tentative 2020 Schedule

Long post, head’s up.

I get asked a lot about stories going on hiatus, which they never really are, but I’m normally busy with a lot of things, and they’re not always priority for me on a daily basis. So, time slips past me, and it takes a while to upload.

Still, I know how it feels to be burned by fanfic writers (happened to me a lot as a kid, and I didn’t have blogs to follow when I was young for updates, lol). To try giving a vague/rough idea of how I think my posting patterns have settled, I’ll post a mini-schedule kind of thing here.

This year will be divided into quarters (Q#), and within those months, I’ll try updating one or two of my major fanfics. It’s subject to change, hopefully for more than less, hence the ‘tentative‘ bit.

But, it’s also possible that I might not fulfill these times, so, if a period of time goes by and nothing’s updated? Short version is that I suck, idk folks.

So, let’s see how this goes and if I’ll abide by this for the year.

...

Q1 (January - March)

Planned update for: Eternally Never Yours, Chapter 45

Q2 (April - June)

Planned update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 27 Pushing update for: Eternally Never Yours, Chapter 46

Q3 (July - September)

Planned update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 28 Planned update for: Eternally Never Yours, Chapter 47 Pushing update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 29

Q4 (October - December)

Pushing update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 30, planned finale

...

Explanations below the cut.

...

Ok, first is the planned vs pushing: ‘planned‘ means I’m going to work at doing those and try to get them done within that period, while ‘pushing‘ means I’m going to see if I’ve got the time during that period to pump out another.

Now, for the specifics on each.

...

Q1: I’m currently working on the next chapter of the Super Mario fanfic, Eternally Never Yours. This is a big chapter, because I’m writing up “guidelines” for magic and those that use it. Not only will this be something that I’m writing for this fanfic, but it might be something I look into when I’m writing in the future and original content, so I’m practicing on that.

On top of this, I need to refer backwards to how I’ve written certain characters, as they haven’t had major roles for 4 years. So, I’m trying to maintain continuity and make sure they still act the same as they did, while certainly expanding on their roles. Also, I’m addressing specific character dynamics, some which people have been excited for and criticized about.

My original plan was to get this out in January, but that’s unlikely to happen, so I’m hoping to have it ready by the end of March. Does that mean it will take until then to complete and post? Gracious, I certainly hope not. But, I’ve miscalculated by assuming the time I’d have for writing in the past, so I’m giving myself the appropriate cushion room to work within.

...

Q2: Up next will be the Pokémon fanfic, Melting Gelid Roses. This will be a continuation from the previous chapter, but also redefines roles for characters. Well, some redefining, others getting spotlights they’ve desperately needed, and several more continuing to be their best. Slight spoilers: it’s going to be a combat chapter. If you didn’t see that coming, there you go.

This is the beginning of the end for this fanfic, and I’m planning on moving onto the sequel after it wraps up this year. This chapter will be the last time I’ll be writing certain characters until the next story, so I need to make sure they’ve got their stage set. At least one minor character will be getting a boosted role in the next story, and it’s likely going to be more than one, and it’s not based only on the soldiers of the main kingdom. So, I’ve got important pivots to set up.

At the same time, since summer is coming and I’m praying that I’ll start getting more free time, I’m going to try my best to get an update for Eternally Never Yours out during this time as well. I’m not holding myself to that, so it’s possible that this update will be pushing back the other ones that follow. But, I want to try getting it out there. This one returns to the main romance of the story, and will hopefully be a resting chapter. After all, they’re coming back from the assault on Peach’s Castle, so, they’ll need to cool down.

If I’m keeping pace with my updates, these both should be out by June. If not, I’ll try to let readers know.

...

Q3: For whatever reason, I think my largest amount of free time exists somewhere between July and September. In my head, that doesn’t sound right, but I’m pretty sure my consistent updates tend to roll out during this time, on a yearly basis. I could be wrong, I’m not fact checking myself on that, so if I’m wildly off, whoops. Nevertheless, I’m planning heaviest around here.

There will be a period for two updates to the Pokémon fanfic. Again, I’m planning on having this one finally come to a close, and I’m pretty much scrounging up my best efforts to end it this year. No, that’s not a guarantee, but I’m really giving it a strong effort, because I do want it to be done before 2021. So, this is when I’m planning for the double update.

First chapter returns to the Empire for the war fallout, and shows where everyone is at following their recoveries and catching up. I’m hoping to properly capture the grieving process and melancholic nature that should be during this time, because hey, other characters died, and the main cast should be shaken by that. Hard. The follow-up chapter will shift the focus to characters that were also impacted by these events, and while they’re not normally main cast, they’re going to appear in the future, and need their time to adjust as well.

Finally, I’m also planning on including an update for the Super Mario fanfic in between those two chapters above. This one will be sending heroes back into their battles as well, and we’re going to finally address the seventh area, the Sky Kingdom. It’s going to be the next location for Peach, Luigi, and the others to fight back for. The boss there will be someone important, though, so...wonder how that’ll turn out for both sides.

Since this is a tentative schedule, stuff might get pushed back, and I’m piling hardest on here, so I can’t promise that it’ll work out. But, this gives us something to go by.

...

Q4: Hello to my absolute worst quarter of the year to update. The holiday season bogs me down without mercy each and every year. This is when I lie to myself and think, “I can probably do two updates, there are 3 months, I’ve got time for that.” Then reality ensues, and I realize, “No, I don’t have that kind of free time for myself.“ It’s possible that I might put nothing out after October or November, and by December? Forget it.

In spite of that, I’m going to do my best to make this the period for Melting Gelid Roses to finally reach its ending. Yes, that does break the balance of updates. Eternally Never Yours is not ending this year, however, I know that for a fact. So, it can take a little time to rest while the Pokémon fanfic wraps up. Like this year, I will probably start 2021 working on the Super Mario fanfic again.

As this is the final chapter of MGR, it basically settles affairs for the main cast and collects everyone back together. What does that mean? They’re repositioning for the third story. When’s that going to start? Hopefully next year. But as the year ends, so will MGR. There’s more to come after, but this will be the second book’s closing, and it will need some prep to get there.

There’s a plan that I’ve debating on following through with, which will involve audience participation. If I can get the third story’s titles brainstormed by this time, that will be included. But the main concept depends on how I want to proceed with select characters, if I want their stories to end with MGR as they are, or if they will do more. Should I decide on trying this, then I’m going to be asking readers to help me narrow those selections down from several to one or two only. This is meant to be a cryptic tease, so that’s all I’ll mention.

Again and again, this is my absolute worst update quarter. If I don’t get to this chapter here, or if I needed to push other updates back, then it’s spilling over to 2021. I don’t want to, but I’m not going to crush myself over updating strictly on time.

...

These are plans, and plans are malleable, they change. If I don’t abide by these, please don’t turn around with, “BuT EcHo YoU tOLd uS ThIs!” I’m human, life changes at the drop of a dime, this is free reading, things happen, and this is not a committed schedule. These are guidelines I’m hoping to follow, but I might end up tumbling off the path.

This is meant to give readers a place to refer to so they can check and see what my plans are. Months will go by, I won’t update. But, this can give a little comfort that I’ve got something in the works for this year at various intervals.

Please understand that I am trying, please understand that it’s a juggling act, and please understand that I have other, real world matters that will override priorities for these stories.

But please also feel free to continue interacting and asking questions beyond update periods. Sometimes the strongest way to help encourage me to persist is feedback, and interacting following chapters. If I’m in a period where I haven’t updated, feel free to mention what your favorite chapters, scenes, and characters were. Feel free to mention some hopes you have for the story; who knows, that might influence me.

Thank you all for your support so far. I’ll continue to try my best.

#tentative schedule #long post #echoeternal #fanfic update schedule #for all my wips #might update later #might delete later

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harry-sussex · 5 years

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February 20, 2019

A day that will live in infamy: the day I saw HRH The Duchess of Sussex in my home city

I go to school in the Upper East Side of Manhattan on Wednesdays and Thursdays. When I saw photos of Meghan & co. at The Mark Hotel on Tuesday, I assumed the baby shower was over and that I’d missed my chance.

Then, Omid Scobie broke the news that the baby shower was in fact Wednesday.

I usually have class at 4 and then at 7 on Wednesdays, but my 4:00 class was canceled, so I actually had free time to wander about Manhattan before my 7:00. With the help of the always wonderful @harryandmeghansussex, I decided I was going to hang out outside the hotel. I didn’t want to scare Meghan or bother her or anything, I just wanted to know that there was at least someone in the mess of people looking for her who had her back, you know? Even if she never knew it. Of course, I also wanted to see my favorite pregnant first-time-mum-to-be in person!

So anyway, I got to The Mark around 6:00, at which point Jessica Mulroney, Amal Clooney, and Misha Nonoo had already left. Serena Williams hadn’t yet been spotted and nobody had yet seen Meghan at all that day, so I was pretty confident that she was still in there. The paparazzi were staked out on both sides of the main entrance to The Mark - I was on the left (if you’re looking towards the street). The photo below is of the paparazzi staged on the right of the hotel entrance. It was about even on both sides, so maybe about 15-20 of them total. Once I saw them standing there, I knew she still had to be in the hotel.

There was a black SUV with US Government plates parked outside (see the pic above) with tinted windows and I knew that was Meghan’s vehicle. There were also police barricades holding in the paparazzi on both sides of the hotel, as well as across the street. I didn’t notice any overt police presence, however.

As I was checking out the car from my vantage point, one of the regular people standing there to see her (not the paparazzi) asked me if I knew which car was hers and if so, why. I started filling in a handful of fans on what I knew - not only about the baby shower, but also about Meghan’s life as a royal. They were loose followers of royalty (not obsessive stans to the grave like myself) so we passed the time by talking about Meghan, Harry, the baby, their wedding, even William and Kate. One guy was there with his girlfriend (wife?) and he was quite interested in the notion of royalty and what they can/cannot and should/should not do. Another girl was there and she was telling me that she’s hosting a baby shower for Meghan at her own apartment on Saturday! With gifts and games and her friends and everything! She woke up at 4 am to watch Harry and Meghan’s wedding, the whole nine yards. She was so excited!!

People started fading at around 6:20. It was cold and still kind of snowing. The paparazzi stayed put, however. My new friends and I had formed a group of 5 people, and we seemed to be the only fans who stayed put until the end. A handful of stragglers would stop across the street for a few minutes, but would continue on their way rather quickly.

At around 6:30, a man with an earpiece left the Mark and started the US government vehicle in the photo above. Every time the doors to the Mark would open, I held my breath. A staffer from the Mark was outside talking to a few of the people I was with, and he said he found a red rose that was allegedly part of the baby shower. He gave it to one of the girls in my little group and I was dying of jealousy but she seemed really happy to have it!!

The guy with the earpiece on the left, helping to load Meghan’s luggage on the right.

At around 6:45, the Mark hotel staff started relocating the police barriers to the service entrance just to the right of the main entrance. My new royal-loving friends and I were torn, as were half of the paparazzi - should we go to the relocated barriers, or should we stay put? Was it just an effort to split up the group of people?

I went with my gut and went to the new service entrance. My new group of friends also followed suit. I was operating on the hunch that there was no way they’d let her walk out of an unprotected entrance with so many people waiting for her.

At around 6:50, they rolled out a black and white striped carpet in front of the service entrance that matched the famous Mark hotel floors seen in Serena’s Instagram post from the weekend. That convinced me (and, unfortunately, most of the paparazzi) that she wouldn’t be departing from the main entrance as Jessica, Amal, and Misha had. You can see the carpet here:

The left photo is of the super nice Mark hotel staff member (more on him later). The woman on the right seemed to be Meghan’s RPO for the weekend, though I haven’t confirmed that.

We moved over to the newly-erected police barricades and we actually had a good view. The barricades were meant to control the paparazzi only, so we weren’t pushing against a barrier or anything. I think the Mark hotel staff had a feeling that we were there harmlessly, you know?

The first and only paparazzo to leave bailed around 7:00 pm, citing “12 hours in the snow and no sighting of Meghan” as his reason. At this point, I was already late to my 7pm class and I decided I would wait it out. If all of the paparazzi left, then I would leave, because I knew they were receiving tips all weekend. One guy who was staying at the Mark was walking around telling anyone who would listen that he was staying really close to the Duchess in the hotel that weekend and that she left yesterday and that we were all wasting our time. He was acting like such a jerk about it though, pompously strutting with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, not convincing at all - hardly anyone paid him any mind. There were murmurs that she wasn’t there, that she left already out a private entrance and we missed her, but I just refused to believe it - as did most of the paparazzi. One member of our little group - the boyfriend/husband - was about to leave. His significant other really wanted to wait it out - they had been waiting this long - but didn’t want to stay alone. He said he’d wait another handful of minutes - 7:05-ish, the latest.

And then. The moment to end all moments.

The doors opened at around 7:05, and the cameras started flashing. The paparazzi started shouting questions at Meghan, and I just didn’t want that to be the only thing she heard (if she could hear anything at all). I was closer to the door than the paparazzi were, so once I saw the cameras flashing, I knew she was coming out, and I waved and kind of softly called over to her, “Hi Meghan!! I love you!!! Congratulations!!!” She, of course, didn’t look over to either side - just kept her head down and headed straight to the waiting car (the US government vehicle - I was right!)

Did she hear me? I have no idea. Probably not. But I like to think she might have. After it was all over, one of my newfound royal-loving friends texted me the video she took of Meghan’s departure and you can hear me at around 0:28 saying “hi Meghan!! I love you!!!” before the paparazzo shouts something obnoxious about her allowing her father to meet the baby. I’ll post the video later if anyone is interested, it’s not working in this post right now.

The main thing I noticed about her in person is her hair. It’s gorgeous in person. The photos do not do it justice at all. It was so shiny and looked so soft and curled so perfectly. Even under a black ball cap, it was stunning. I also noticed the sparkle of that beautiful engagement ring in the camera lights. My favorite thing I noticed, though? She was cradling her baby. Shielding him or her from the flashes and shouts of the world outside. That’s a lot to notice in not even five seconds, but I was paying such close attention to detail to make sure I remembered all of it.

I noticed after the fact, when looking at my pictures, that my goodness, she’s tiny. She’s tinier than I thought she was, even from professional photographs! These are probably the three best photographs I ended up taking (I wasn’t looking at my camera, I was focusing on seeing her with my own two eyes, so they’re not the best):

Once the car was on its way, the paparazzi dispersed pretty quickly. My little group and I were so excited that we stuck around for a few minutes reliving the past minute while the Mark hotel staff put everything in order. The nice man on the Mark hotel staff from one of the photos above came by and asked if we saw who we were looking for. I asked him if he met Meghan, and he said of course. I then asked him if she was the sweetest thing, and he said, “yes, absolutely, very sweet!” I asked him if he could repeat that word for word so I could post his quote on my blog, and he just kind of laughed and walked away smiling and shaking his head - but I remembered the quote anyway!

The whole thing lasted about five seconds. I waited over an hour and was late to my graduate-level class for a whole five seconds with The Duchess of Sussex, and it was so worth it! I was on such a natural high after leaving the Mark that I got on the subway in the wrong direction, and had to turn around at the next stop uptown before heading back downtown to my class. Whoops. I didn’t even care - I saw Meg and the baby!!

So that’s my story of how an average, snowy Wednesday night for me turned into hanging out with a cool new group of royal lovers in the middle of the sidewalk to see HRH The Duchess of Sussex for not even five seconds after her baby shower.

I feel comfortable posting all of this now because the news cycle has become bored with the story, and she’s already home, safe and sound, in London with Harry. I didn’t want to post anything that would intrude on her personal life any more. Now that she’s home and far away from here, I’m comfortable posting.

One last thing: when I was looking at the picture taking by the paparazzi during those five seconds, I found this picture:

If you look closely in between Meghan and the guy behind her, right above the man’s hand, you can see a small tuft of blonde hair with dark roots.

THAT’S MY HEAD!! THAT’S MY HAIR! I *technically* have a photo of myself with HRH The Duchess of Sussex and it made me very happy to see!! Gotta celebrate the small victories, you know?

#story time y'all!!!#my post #personal #meghan markle #duchess of sussex #i feel comfortable posting the pic now because the story has already died down and she's not here anymore so #long post #the mark hotel #nyc

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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The Color of Friendship Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27): A World of People

Happy Black History Month! Another day, another comission from longtime supporter of the blog Weird Kev and like a good chunk of his-non duck asks, he asked me for something outside my usual wheelhouse. In the past this has meant an episode of the short lived fox show whoops in which we found out how Santa dealt with the end of the world, didn’t know how doors worked, and interacted with some characters so thin you could remake the episode with just Mick Foley in a santa suit and carboard cutouts playing the characters lines and it’d be about the same, and earlier this month Sorry Wrong Meeting, an episode of a sitcom i’d never seen an episode of the Jeffersons about the KKK. So unsuprisingly his big comission for Black History Month was the 2000 Disney Channel Original Movie, The Color of Friendship.

I couldn’t find much on the making of the film, which dosen’t entirely suprise me as at the time this came out, Disney was releasing around 10 a year and whlie that stopped shortly, it still was a whopping 6 a year for some time, ocasionally more ocasionaly less, slowly dwindling down to the two of year we have now. Though it’s still an ongoing concern and has been since the channel started in 83, closing in on 40 years ago, so it’s still impressive Disney hasn’t just outright phased them out. Then again the popular ones make them a lot of money and some like High School Musical and the Descendants Trilogies have broken out so big they’ve lead to spinoff books, tv series in the latter’s case, and all that stuff making them money hand over fist. So making some cheap movies that MIGHT end up making them rich and usually star people that are already on shows they have or were at one point is a no loose proposition, especially now they add an extra release to the Disney Plus callender twice a year. And while the library has it’s gaps and i’ve griped about them enough.. I will say it’s stil la damn good library and it’s nice to be able to watch a film like this, as the dvd was LONG out of print and likely horribly expensive, and while renting it was an option, it would’ve chipped into what I got commissioned for the film. Still would’ve done it it just would’ve sucked to loose money on the deal, if only two bucks, for something I had no control over. Still would do that over adding it onto the comission fee. Point is stuff that’s not been easy to get for some time is now just a few clicks or taps of the remote away, and having the VAST majority of disney’s long and storied history from theatrical to dcom to weird tv oddities like.. this thing

I don’t know what Fuzzbucket is, and frankly I don’t want to know.. I mean I will for a comission or something but i’m not going to go out of my way to find out what that thing is and if it can give me scabies through a telvision screen despite being fictional and proabably long dead. At least I tell myself it’s long dead so ic an sleep at night without worrying about that thing breaking into my house and watchnig me while I sleep changing “SOON JACOB, SOON”. So yeah while you’ll hear me complain about the gaps in DIsney Plus’ library a lot on this blog.

I will give credit where it’s due, and what is on there is pretty expansive and now includes the Muppet Show, which I give them full credit for as that probably took a LOT of work and money to make happen. Plus WandaVision is fucking fantastic, especially now i’m finally all caught up.

But while as I said I couldn’t find much on the making of the film I did find a bit on it’s inspiration: It was inspried by a short story wrtten by Piper Dellums, a writer, poet and activist, and daughter of Ron Dellums. Dellums is a notable congressman who fought against apartheid and constantly fought for a bill to divest from South Africa, something that SHOCKINGLY, Ronald Regan tried to veto because he was a racist disney anamatronic what did you expect, and all in all seemed pretty awesome. He sued Bush SR to try and prevent Desert Storm, in his earliest days in office had an exibit near his phsyical office of vietnam war crimes to try and hold them acountable and in general seems to be a fascenating, hardworking man who constantly and religiously fought for the people and against war.

The story was a real life account of the Piper’s experince housing a South African Student, Marie, who the Delums Family expected to be black.. but turned out ot be white. During Apartheid, south africas racist as hell and horrifying goverment system of segregation that wasn’t abolished till the 90′s. As expected she was racist, but as a proudct of the horribly racist country she came from and much like with her fictional counterpart in this film, slowly grew to realize how fucked up her homeland was and by the time she went back, became an activist She and Piper were very close but her story ends tragically as eventually Piper stopped hearing from her after she was arrested and despite attempts to talk to her.. it was clear by the silence, and by the fact Piper visited South Africa post-aparthied to help and likely would’ve seen her.. that she was likely quitely killed by the state. But her story thankfully lives on, so join me under the cut to see how a 20 year old disney movie aired during black history month handles this difficult real life story, racisim and the 70′s.

The Cast: Quick bit about the cast since I usually do this for first episodes of an animated show and wish i’d done so for my other film reviews so far. Though to keep things simple, i’m only doing the main four cast members, especailly since frankly outside of Mahree’s parents the rest are more supporting roles that don’t have a lot of screen time and in hte case of the south african embassy workers, are just there to be racist card board cutout villians. Piper, who keeps her name from real life is played by Shadia Simmons, who eventually retired from acting to become a High School and Acting Teacher. During her career she was in a bunch of Disney Channel Original Movies, including the first two Zenon Movies, and was in a major role in a bunch of live action childrens shows: I Was A Sizth Grade Alien, Strange Days at Blake Holsely High, and Life with Derek, the only one of which i’ve seen and even then barely so I can’t comment on the rest of her work. Simmons does a decent job in the film, and does shine in the more dramtic scenes, not the best part of it but certainly not bad at all.

Lindsay Haun plays Mahree, and had more of an acting career after this one, having a small recurring role on True Blood as Hadley, while also directing some smaller films. Haun is easily one of the two highlights of the movie and the best of the two main tween actresses by a mile. More on that in a bit.

Next we have Carl Fucking Lumbly as Congressman Ron Dellums. Carl has had a long and storied career and the fucking is because of what I best know him from: Playing the Martian Manhunter Jon Jonzz on Justice League. And let me not undersell it: his version of Jon is waht made me LOVE the character, still do to this day, being the first time I encountered any version of Jon and the one I still love the most, a stoic man who tries to adapt to a world he feels he can never be a part of, adding shades to his stitled demeanour to show off his emtitons and in general being the heart and soul of what made this verison work and made me love the character with his performance. He’s done other stuff too including Cagney and Lacey, Doctor Sleepand what have you.. but he’ll always be Jonn to me and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest. Unsuprisingly he’s the other standout here.

Finally we have Penny Johnson as Ron’s wife and Piper’s Mother Roscoe, who played Captain Sisko’s love intrest on Deep Space 9 and was one of the leads on castle. Haven’t seen either of those but she does seem awesome and does a terrific job here.

Moving on to the film itself.. it’s really fantastic. It has some awkwardness and goofy bollocks as you’d expect from a disney channel original movie in 2000, but it handles a really heavy subject, race relations, gracefully and clearly with the goal of educating an audience with a lot of white kids in it about race. So I can praise what it does right i’m going to be handling the parts that are a bit wobbly first so I can get to the good stuff

Awkwardness and Goofy Bollocks:

First the out and out criticism: The films TV Movie roots show in places, as this film lacks the polish these films would have later this decade, with the film barely having an opening title sequence and just sorta throwing you in, though to their credit it does open with the utterly awesome Back in Love Again, because 70′s.

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That slaps and that’s an undeniable fact. What’s also an undenaible fact is the film dosen’t try the hardest to be very 70′s in it’s sets and what not, though it does do it a little with the clothes and that not being the case with Mahree is intentional, as her family while wealthy is from another culture and one literally and metaphorically behind the times.

I will also say Shadia Simmons is a decent actress, but is mildly weak in comparison to the other 3 in the leads, but its more the result of putting a pretty standard child sitcom actress up against two experinced actors who know what their doing and one whose about as experinced as her, but simply has a LOT to work with and goes above and beyond. It’s less that she’s bad and more that she’s simply not as good as what’s around her, and in general I tend to go easier on child actors since it’s not an easy job for a grown adult much less a teenager, it’s very pressurey and there’s a reason a LOT of them bottom out as they get older or retire all together.

I will say though that Piper’s brothers are awful and I feel are only there because she actually had brothers. The actors try, i’m not pinning this on them but writing wise their just two little shits who contirbute ntohing of value to any scene their in, being generally way to young to get into the heavy topic at hand, and mostly being there for unfunny shneanigans. They aren’t in the film too much otherwise they might’ve ruined it for me, but if Shadia struggles a bit agianst sttronge perofrmances imagine who younger actors with the stage direction “Be the bane of my existence” and you’ll MAYBE see the problem.

The film also loves cheesy time passing montages, including an actual factual shopping montage, easily the goofiest, but it’s something you’d expect from a dcom and helps lighten the mood. That’s a running theme outside the brothers there really isn’t anything too silly.. until the last act. See in the last act, the film tackles the real life death of Steve Biko, a South African activist against apartheid who was captured by the state and very transparently murdered in jail. with the government claming he killed himself which no one bought because why would they, and it sparked riots worldwide and finally got the US to take Apartheid seriously according to the film. Though as I mentioned earlier Regan did not in case you thought the republican party being terrible and deeply racist was a brand new thing. It was not. Guys like Tucker Carlson and Former President Trump are a symptom, not the disease.. though they certainly look and feel like some form of plauge. Point is Mahree is breifly taken by the embassy.. whose staff who take her feel like the Disney Channel Original Movie form of Nazi’s. The heavy accents, the way they compose themselves... I half expect an elderly indiana jones to show up to whip the piss out of them. And dont’ get me wrong, the only diffrence between these pricks and a nazi is the fact they don’t call themselves nazis, this isn’t a nuanced horrifying racist to be scared of but a saturday morning cartoon version.

While white supremacists in real life can be cartoonishly evil, again see trump and carlson, it does kind of undercut the seriousness and nuance of things to have your villians be cold, cackling cutouts who are 5 seconds away from saying “You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor take her away” to our heroine, especailly since Mahree’s reaction to being taken away and confusion at everything and at being treated like a prisoner by her own people are very painful and very well acted. I do get showing them as monsters, because they were, but given Mahree’s father who as a south african police man was DEFINTELY ONE and even outside his racisim doubts and downtalks his own daughter, still feels like an actual person, if not a GOOD person, they could’ve done better and did in the same film.

But that stuff aside.. I really can’t find much that’s honestly that silly or bad and as you can tell what little I did was more a product of being a tv movie. So now i’ve got the negatives out of the way

This Film Is Pretty Good: It truly is, for a lot of reasons. But the biggest is the nuance. It could’ve been easy to just have Maree as some racist kid needing to learn a lesson who was openly cruel and easy to jeer at.. but the film went iwth the reality: that she was instead an extremley privlaged and insulated girl who simply NEVER knew better. To her her very racist and segregated world is just the way the world worked for her and she dosen’t even consider when the Dellums come to pick her up minus Ron these aren’t servants and her own servant’s words fall on deaf ears, as the poor woman tries to make it clear how miserable her life is and how much she deseprately wants this child to do better. Marhee is never actively malicious even when, due to the shock of her all black host family, she baricades herself in Piper’s room. It’s obnoxious sure and CERTAINLY hurtful and the film makes no bones about it and Piper rightfully calls her out on it. The film dosen’t let her get away with any intetnional racisim like that and after Piper calls her out, she realizes she’s been selifsh and makes a genuine effort. And even then the film makes a good choice in not making it an easy road to realization. Mahree makes a genuine effort in the first place not because of any big revelation or anything, but because she simply hears her dad in her head telling her she’d give up after a week and that, coupled with Piper’s words, makes her see herself as a selfish brat. Even after she’s floored by a mall where black and white people stand side by side aand casually talks about horrors like ID Cards like i’ts a GOOD thing, because that’s what she’s been taught by her dad. That black people are happy being told where they can and can’t go when no they weren’t they simply had no chocie in the matter. And while we do see early on when an asshole at a restraunt assaults a waiter for an accident that Mahree clearly isn’t okay with the more horrifying side of things, she still dosen’t quite grasp WHY that happened, simply that it’s something that does reguarly she dosen’t like. It’s excellently, and unsuprisingly called back when they visit an ice cream place in the states and something similar happens.. but the guy takes it in stride, even ordering a sundae, to Maree’s confusion.

It’s what makes the film work and all the more striking: As Roscoe makes clear to Ron, whose admant about nto having a racist in the house, this is not her fault. While the film makes it clear Mahree’s behavior at first was not okay and her prejudiece is not okay, it also makes it VERY clear she’s a product of a terrible system and terrible parenting from people who choose to benneift from the system instead of challenge it. She’s only like this because she hasn’t had a reason to ever think diffrent and just took her parents at face value and no mater the country, this is something that sadly happens far too often: Someone hating a group or thinking discrimination is okay because that’s how they were taught and that’s all they’ve known and the only way to change that is to challenge that opinon and try to get them to have some empathy and see the other way and as this film shows it’s a struggle.. and at the end of the day while the Dellums make a concentrated effort, Maree is the one who has to realize what her parents taught her is bad and her country is inherently flawed and NEEDS to change, just like ours did, and STILL badly needs to.

And that’s where the nuance kicks in as the good congressman is understandable in not wanting a racist in his house... but his wife is equally right that Maree is not some easy symbol of his hatred towards south africa, but a girl who grew up knowing nothing more than the fucked up system, and eventually he comes around, realizing , especially after she apologizes for him even thinking she’d use a racial slur on piper after a very powerful conversation with the two and piper accidently saying she used the South African N Word, almost accidently getting her friend thrown out, that she simply hasn’t been outside her shell and gently guides her to keep reading roots, even letting her take it with her if she wants back home. The film shows the full pain of the situation but also shows change is posisble. Again it’s not easy, Mahree has a panic attack waiting in an almost all black line in school and it’s shown to be as horrible a thought as it is., but she DOES change and it comes off as real, as someone realizing the system they grew up with is broken and needs to be fixed and she can’t just sit back and let it.

What makes this happen, besides the aformentioned kidnapping by saturday morning cartoon racists, is Piper confronting her after a friend from south africa forces Piper to acccept that while her and Mahree are friends, Mahree might not seee her as equal and Piper in turn in a heated argument and easily Simmons best performance of the film, that things are broken and wrong and that her “firend”, her nanny/servant back home, is not happy. It leaves Mahree crying and Ron telling her the honest truth: Change was, and again still is but this was 2000 and while we should’ve had this talk disney channel wasn’t ready for it, needed to make things better here.. and tha’ts what south african’s doing> Fighting for equal rights at last. It’s some powerful, heavy as hell stuff you woudln’t expect from a line of movie that also include a robot house, before that was an actual thing, a merMAN dad MerMan, a boy slowly turning into a leprechaun, and at least two diffrent movies centering around wacky kidnappings. It’s a nuanced and hard look at race, as hard as late 90′s jsut turned into the 2000′s disney could get mind, aimed at kids and the film, whiel stilted really has my utter praise. It’s genuinely moving, well acted and teaches a valuable message that while not eveyrone can change.. it dosen’t hurt to try and help them, as well as the equal message that change start with YOU. someone has to WANT to be better and learn and actually let other people in to help them. And I wont’ lie and say this is the most naunced or subtle film.. at time’s it’s about as subtle as a ralph wiggum throught he window

But sometimes you don’t need to be. It also taught kids about apartheid, not me as I barely saw the film, but many learned of something ghoulsih that had barely ended at the time of the film’s release, something I only learned about as a teen via bloom county and a diffrent world, which has an utterly awesome apartheid episode “A World Alike”. Seriously check it out if you have prime, as it shows that america isn’t the only country with a deep history of ingraned racisim. And was it an easy way to have an anti racisim narriative without fully confronting america’s own racist history? Yup. Just.. yup. Can I blame Disney Channel for it when they clearly, while equipped to tackle racisim, weren’t ready to tackle something that dense or heavy, and while Proud Family later would there’s a diffrence between a 20 minute one off episode of a cartoon and 90 minutes of film? Yeah. For what it is and for what the time period is, I applaud this film taking on such a heavy topic with grace. Some goofyiness here and there yes and some lack of subtly.. but still grace. For what it is is, it’s pretty good and i hope to show it to my nieces one day soon. It has i’ts heart in the right place and thus has a place in my heart. See you next rainbow.

#the color of friendship #disney channel #dcom #disney channel original movie #black history month #black lives matter

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home-working · 5 years

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The One Where I Become a Product Reviewer

Hey there, fellow kids! Jumping on the already-parked annual back-to-school bandwagon, I bring to you an AWESOME new blog post highlighting my FAVOURITE 15″ LAPTOP BACKPACK PICK! Get ready for at least 145 paragraphs of preamble before I reveal this NUMBER ONE TOP 100% BEST 15″ LAPTOP BACKPACK PICK and DIY BACKPACK HACK!!

I also realised I needed a post in my “lifestyle blog” repertoire that might convince people to send me free products? So this is that post. Search engine optimization.

Backstory

On February 19, 2019, esteemed letterer and all-around Creative Professional Jessica Hische tweeted out that she was looking for a new, fashionable laptop backpack and wanted suggestions. I happened to see this tweet that night and thought, “Maybe I, myself also a Creative Professional, need a new, fashionable laptop backpack as well?” I read through the mostly terrible (???) suggestions from her followers, saw one I liked, and then, with the quick late-night text approval of my probably-drunken sartorial consultant T, impulse-bought a $235 backpack.

The Arrival

A week later The Backpack arrives. It’s partially leather! It smells very new! It’s literally made by a Creative Professional for Creative Professionals! It’s so nice that I’m already worried about ruining it with thoughts of biking or commuting. But the straps are kind of stiff and uncomfortable on my delicate mammary glands. And did I say it’s pretty expensive?!

It’s the kind of backpack I’d be happy to keep if it were, say, $79. Maybe even $89. But $235?! For a backpack that’s not even some sexy upscale Creative Professional household brandname?? My lower middle-class upbringing prevents me from committing to such an expenditure on which I’m only lukewarm. What to do?

The Virgo/Libra Cusp Solution

Obviously I go out and buy two more backpacks.

All my children.

On Being a Virgo/Libra Cusp-er

I’m on the Virgo/Libra cusp which makes me the perfect person to review anything because I’m really picky and really indecisive. This means that if I’m forced to make a decision about anything, I generally change my mind multiple times and lose sleep in the process of over-thinking every minute detail, what fun! (For the record, I’m also strictly adhering to the deeply-scientific, back-of-your-local-free-weekly astrology column definitions of these signs. [Also, unnecessary childhood trauma story, I never really knew how to astrologically-identify growing up because as a cusper my sign categorization changed from paper to paper? The struggle was—and I cannot stress this enough—real.])

Laptop Backpacks: Necessary?

“Why does one need a special laptop backpack?” you might ask. Obviously, you don’t. No one needs anything. Why do we buy things, to feel a brief sense of happiness or accomplishment in our lives? Does it work for you the way it definitely and always 100% works for me? Leave your response in the comments!

But also I’ve never had a bag that was made for a laptop, so I figured I should probably get a backpack that's actually functional and isn’t painful to carry heavy shit around in all day?

Criteria

In order to be considered for this review, a potential backpack had to meet the following criteria:

Must hold a 15″ MacBook Pro

Enough padding to protect that laptop without a case

Must be comfortable to use while biking

Unisex design

Is black/screams “Creative Professional”

Bonus points: also screams “... who deserves a large salary”

In addition to my a laptop, I assembled a weight/capacity testing control group with the following everyday accessories:

Work essentials: mouse, laptop charger, Moleskine notebook, pencil

Life essentials: overnight kit, moisturizer, deodorant, underwear, sports bra, water bottle

Um, glasses and some other crap: eyeglasses & case, dirty socks, folded blanket, Le Creuset 18cm cast-iron pot

🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒 The Backpacks 🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒

Bag option #1: The ISM Backpack

The ISM retails for $235 USD; it’s only available online but comes with free shipping and returns in the USA. It ships in a pretty box with a pretty branded dust bag and a bunch of tissue that smells of “Instagram unboxing moment”.

I wore this bag out in public a few times: to the work lounge at the Public Hotel (a hotspot for “cool-looking people” working remotely), to pay a visit to my old MoMA office, and to a job interview. Did I feel like a Creative Professional? You bet I did! But then my former coworker commented that the bag made me look like a “techy person”, which ruined everything it had going for it. (There is a fine line between Creative Professional and Startup Chic that I refuse to cross. It involves hoodies.)

Left: fancy regal satin lining, to remind you that you’re the millennial queen you are. Right: full bag, with front pocket that is great for fitting flat stuff and maybe only flat stuff.

It fit everything in the “capacity” control group, albeit quite snugly, but its real downfall was the straps: although they were quite hearty, being both wide and well padded (which would be great for those with flat chests), their stiff sturdiness meant they were very inflexible, and basically cut into my breasts any time I raised my arms together, as one would if biking:

MEINE POOR BOOBS.

ISM owner/designer Justin emailed me after I returned the bag, and explained they were working on a smaller version for 13″ laptops. I explained this doesn’t help people with mammary glands who own 15″ laptops. Per Justin:

I feel what you mean Christy, a bag that fits a 15" laptop and is unisex has been a tough design challenge given the size difference between males and females. We have been able to shorten the straps to accommodate though.

I get it. Designing for the fact that 50% of the population has boobs is hard! Did you know that basically everything is designed around men and their stupid bodies?? It's also subsequently a prime example of how e-comm genders backpack sizing: you’ll find that 15″ laptop bags are generally only found in the “Men’s” section of websites. I need a drink.

Pros

Looks and feels fancy

Separate laptop pocket from main compartment

Water and weather resistant

Good amount of padding everywhere

Real leathurrrr bottom

Bitches be loving gold zippers

I am weirdly very into the simple strap adjustment design (not pictured but trust me that it’s nicely done)

Cons

High price point for my feeble income

Cut into my boobs

Front pocket is pretty difficult to put stuff in due to being so flat

Makes me look like a tech bro

Did not get the job I interviewed for while using it

Rating

Comfort: ★★☆☆☆ Creative professional-ness: ★★★★★ Female compatibility: ★☆☆☆☆ (one star for gold zipper) Value for monies: ★★★★☆ (if you don’t bike or have boobs) Overall: ★★★☆☆

🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒 Bag option #2: MUJI Water Repellent Backpack

I bought this bag at the MUJI store for a very reasonable $49 USD. Like everything MUJI, it’s pretty decent quality both in materials and design, and feels like it’ll last a while.

Unfortunately, I didn’t end up testing this “in the real world” because, whoops, it only comfortably fits a 13″ laptop. But I did uncomfortably fit my 15″ laptop inside, really stretching the limits of the side panels, and then managed to cram the test “capacity” content on top (with room to spare!). I then did a “hunch test”, folding myself over as one would on a road bike, and found that there was barely any padding on the back panel, and my spine was knocking against the hard surface of my computer. Not cool! Plus the back did not have a mesh surface, literally making it not cool on a sweaty back.

Yes I get it, I have a big stupid computer.

Pros

Nice quality

Large capacity

Water repellent

Has a secret little back pocket you’ll probably never use

Has those tacky side pockets for water bottles which are surprisingly handy for sunglasses or pocket chargers

Cons

Made for a 13″ laptop

Non-meshed back

Not enough back padding

Rating

Comfort: ★★★☆☆ Creative professional-ness: ★★★★☆ Female compatibility: ★★★★★ Value for monies: ★★★★★ Overall: ★★★★☆+

🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒 Bag option #3: UNIQLO Water Repellent Backpack

Right after purchasing the MUJI bag I walked across the street and picked this up for $29.90. YOLO!

Realising that is was yet another bag made for 13″ laptops, I could immediately tell that the quality was much lesser than MUJI’s: it was much lighter in weight, and the fabric thinner. Look at those ugly shoulder straps where the fabric is bunching. The front pocket’s structure is so weak that it sags. Sad!

But: pretty good akshully?!

I again force-fit my behemoth laptop and belongings into the small frame, yet, contrary to expectation, this thing was comfortable AF?! And even had room to spare. The straps were super soft and cushy and malleable around my boobs, and the “hunch test” revealed amazingly thick layers of padding on two sides of the back panel, with a thinner center panel that relieves any pressure on your spine. What kind of ugly genius is this?

Pros

Stupidly comfortable

Large capacity

Water repellent

Again, tacky side pockets, this time with an angled top hem

Cons

Made for a 13″ laptop

Pretty cheap and ugly looking

Pretty cheap and ugly feeling

Rating

Comfort: ★★★★★ Creative professional-ness: ★★☆☆☆ Female compatibility: ★★★★★ Value for monies: ★★★★☆ Overall: ★★★★☆

🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒 Other opshuns, you ask?

There’s a few other mid-range “nice” bag brands I was looking into online, such as the one which esteemed Creative Professional Jessica Hische ended up going with, but let’s just assume I left them out because they lack the quality needed for this rigorous assessment and not because the bag designer whom I went on a date with decided to ghost me after I sprained my ankle while in Canada. Ahem.

Final Verdict... and a Backpack Hack (!!) (...Backhack™?!)

Although I was quite impressed with the comfort the UNIQLO model provided (both to my body and my wallet), I was actually going to declare this experiment a failure and return all the backpacks. Until, that is, I took a closer look at the interior construction of the UNIQLO and MUJI bags: they measured as though they should be tall enough for my latop, and yet the MacBook corners stubbornly stuck out. Time to play detective! 🔍

Turning the bags inside-out, I noticed they both included a superfluous, space-reducing seam at the bottom of the main pocket. WTF.

UNIQLO bag before & after: the difference a simple seam (and lack of colour temperature matching) makes!

By removing this seam on the UNIQLO model, I gained a full inch of vertical room, ALLOWING THE 15″ LAPTOP TO ACTUALLY FIT IN THE DAMN BAG. Yes, it fits snugly, and some may argue that the superfluous seam protects the edge of the computer from hitting the ground, but the very bottom edge seam is actually pretty bulky and does a decent job of protecting as is.

Verdict: With the inclusion of this super deviant hack (and ONLY with this inclusion), UNIQLO wins!!!!!!!!

Epilogue

I’ve been using this bag for 7 months now. It looks kinda cheap and it tends to collect lint, but my shoulders are miraculously like never sore. And, even on a grocery run after stuffing a myriad of pokey-shaped food items in the thing until I can barely close it, it’s always very comfortable on my tender back when biking home (I did this very thing 2 weeks ago at the Farmer’s Market after buying Celine Dion tickets, because I am a white woman in her late 30s).

Oh, also: it’s black, so yes I am a Creative Professional, thank you for noticing!

TL;DR: UNIQLO; cheap; comfortable. Send me your products to review! 🔚

Colophon backpacks: ISM, UNIQLO, MUJI; socks: UNIQLO; t-shirt: from a Women Who Code meetup hosted by One Month; sweatpants: Alternative Apparel; laptop: Shmapple; glasses: Steven Alan clearance; stool: Target; plants: IKEA & Home Depot; blankets: Hudson’s Bay, E. Stocking; mirror & couch: IKEA; drawing above mirror: K. Freeman & P. Lyle; posters: Bruce Nauman and a Finnish Design Annual fold-out; calendar: Massimo Vignelli; bike: Miele; weight/capacity control group: thrifting, Peru, Amazon, HAY, more places; suddenly questioning the consistency of whether I’m listing where objects were bought or the brand name of the object itself: something I am going to pretend to resolve at a later date in time; brevity rating for this blog post: ★☆☆☆☆; fan appreciation: I am so sorry if you read this far

#product review #backpacks #UNIQLO #ISM #MUJI #review #diy #hack #padding #seam removal #laptop #macbook pro 15"#knapsack #computer bag #SEO

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fatcatlosing-blog · 5 years

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150 pounds in a year?

Yep, losing 150 pounds in a year is a crazy big goal. And I would be pretty happy if I lost a third of that! But I like to set really big goals; that excites and motivates me. So I’m putting it out there.

I’m currently 275 pounds tonight; actually, about 270 — the first five pounds are really carb water weight so I’m calling it 270. I’m a 5'6" woman and would like to weigh 120 pounds. That is a *very* aggressive goal for me. Again, I would probably be pretty happy at 130, or 150, or 180, or even 220! But 120 pounds has always been a magic number for me and I would love to experience life at that weight. So, the task at hand is: 150 pounds to lose :-)

How did I get this way? I was a normal weight through childhood and high school (maybe around 150 pounds). Then, in college I dropped pretty quickly to 132 and was THIN. It was wonderful, words can’t describe it. I would feel my body in bed and enjoyed it so much. Then I went through a lot of stress and a breakup in grad school, and decided that it would be a good idea to eat a lot to soothe myself. I meant that time period to last 3 months, it lasted 15. Whoops. So I bounced up to 200 pounds — yikes! Then, I managed to drop down to 155, stayed there for a bit, then crept up to 185. At that point, I did really dumb things for about 7 years! I did starvation low carb diets during that time, and bounced around between 155 and 200. Miserable! But I was very single, everyone I knew was getting married, and I was so desperate to get thinner so that just once — a guy I liked would like me back. Instead of always choosing someone else (who was always ALWAYS at least 60 pounds thinner than me).

So I solidified the binge eating disorder I had started in grad school — starvation diet followed by binging. Gosh, that yo-yoing. So around 34, I decided to get professional help for that, and my anxiety. WORST DECISION EVER. The anxiety drug he put me on made me just eat and eat and eat — I warned him this had happened to me in the past, he blew off my concerns. I blew up to 295 pounds. I put on almost 100 pounds in treatment for an eating disorder. Thanks team! My therapist was a joke — she wanted me to stop dieting. I was *very clear* that my goal was to not be fat anymore. My psychiatrist suggested weight loss surgery at the end — well, dude — I was only overweight when I walked in here, and I left morbidly obese, so hey-want to take any blame here? I’m sure you can tell, I’m still mad, but believe very firmly that happiness is the best revenge. I do plan to make an appointment with him when I’m thin, though.

I recently worked with a weight loss clinic, but only lost 20 pounds in a year, and the drug they put me on made my blood sugar weird, so I’m back on my own again.

Here’s the thing — this is my very last shot at the life I always wanted and honestly always assumed I would have. Married with a kid. I’ve been too fat to even think about dating for the last few years, and before that was honestly too heavy to attract anyone I liked. I’m 39 so majorly out of time. With my calculations, I have about a year left to lose as MUCH WEIGHT AS POSSIBLE, so I can meet someone, quickly get married, and if we’re very lucky, have a kid. Time is totally out. It feels like an impossible task, but it’s what I want the most out of this life, so I have to try. I have a Plan B if it doesn’t work out — which may be interesting, but I do want to try for Plan A.

A bit about my health — I’m actually pretty healthy. I have some anxiety, which is well under control at the moment — no drugs! I have one bad joint, but it was bad before I was heavy. The heaviness doesn’t help, but it’s under control. Shockingly, my blood pressure is normal, cholesterol is on the lower side, and my blood sugar is fine. For now, for all of these things. So though you might think I’m trying to lose weight for my health, I don’t need to at the moment. Maybe it helps because I haven’t been super fat for very long, and I’ve been a vegetarian most of my life. I also have never stopped exercising, no matter what has been going on with me. My main cardio now is aqua-jogging! You put on a flotation belt and pretend to run in a deep pool — feet don’t touch. Great exercise if you haven’t tried it. Nothing like the feeling of being weightless in the pool.

Well, here’s how I’m going to do it. I love the NIH’s BodyWeightPlanner tool ( https://www.niddk.nih.gov/bwp). I plugged in my plan, and it shows me getting to 120 in about a year.

Calories: 1800 to start. Drop 50 calories every month. Last month at 1200. Nothing too drastic. For hunger reasons, I’m going to try for 25% carbs, 35% protein (which at the start is 105 g carbs, 150 g protein). So, a moderate diet full of veggies, nuts, olive oil, yogurt, oatmeal, a bit of whole-wheat bread, and some frankenfood protein things (because I’m a vegetarian). Maybe about 2/3 clean food.

Exercise: swim 6 days a week, weights 3 days a week, abs 3 days a week. Ease slowly into this, since I’m older and the body doesn’t recover like it used to. Right now, I swim about 3 times a week, weights/abs maybe twice. Plan is to start swimming 20 minutes 6 times per week, then add 5 minutes each week until I’m up to 75 minutes each day. For the abs/weights, start at 5 minutes a day, then add 5 minutes each week until I’m at 30 daily minutes. Once I get to about 200 pounds, I’m going to add in a daily walk. Again, start slowly, only 10 minutes per day, then slowly build up to an hour walk. This is a lot of exercise, but I generally enjoy it. It’s good for anxiety, and I hope if I take the build up really slow, it won’t be too painful. Friday will be my exercise rest day (though I will stick to my diet — it’s not a cheat day, those don’t work for me).

The website says this will work. I have a very colorful tracking sheet to keep me on track. I feel like I just have to jump on this slide, follow the directions exactly, and I will emerge at 120. You would think with over a decade of intense dieting experience, I would know it’s not easy. But I’m going to try to keep positive. I guess I just don’t know what I’m going to replace food with. It’s one of the great joys and loves of my life — overeating that is. Being so pleasantly full. Feeling comforted. The bliss of not having to think, just eat. It is SUCH a joy. I was thinking I would write on this blog instead.

A little more about me — I’m a bit shy. So no full pictures of me, I am the last of the GenXers so don’t really get publishing too much about your life (that can be traced to you!) online. So I’m going to try to stay anonymous. But something in me just wanted to share all these feelings — and I can’t really tell my friends things as plain as this — and therapy was a disaster for me — so I’m trying this. I will put up (face cropped out) pictures when I’m maybe closer to 200 pounds. I haven’t seen a picture of myself (or looked in a full mirror) since I got above that amount and worry I would be too freaked out, so no pics until later!

Please wish me luck and if you feel inspired, please pray for me, and for all of us who want to go after what we really really want in this life.

#lose weight #weight loss #dieting

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