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#also heres a fun game for yall: which is the old art and which did i draw today
gb-patch · 3 years
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Ask Answers: July 10th
I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!
Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.
For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?
There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.
Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0
The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.
Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.
I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.
Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!
Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!
idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately
Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.
Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 
Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.
I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 
I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!
I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 
Thank you for reporting ^^
I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 
There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!
hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 
I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.
Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 
This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.
HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 
Thank you for getting it!
Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩
Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.
Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 
Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.
Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 
Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart
Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 
Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.
Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?
No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.
Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 
You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!
Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 
I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.
is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 
A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.
I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 
If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.
Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 
It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.
I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)
L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!
I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.
Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?
I understand if it's too complicated, just curious
Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.
playing our life > anything else 
Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 
Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.
Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 
Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!
Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 
No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.
Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 
They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.
I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 
Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.
Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 
Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.
Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 
It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.
In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 
Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.
I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 
It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.
I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 
Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.
hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 
I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!
Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 
OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.
I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 
I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.
As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?
They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!
Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.
Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?
You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.
Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 
No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.
Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 
Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.
Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 
He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.
Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 
Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.
hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.
sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.
Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.
I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<
Yes you can!
what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 
That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.
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actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?
"they made lightning mcqueen hot"
"inch resting"
"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."
"im evaporating"
"enjoy precipitation"
"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"
"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"
"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"
"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"
"you all need some grass in your life"
"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"
"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"
"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"
"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"
"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"
"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"
"cries in Bianca Monroe"
"listen i have a folder called gayass
it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"
"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"
"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""
"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"
"crab walks away"
""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."
"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"
"That is my exit number"
"cars trauma arc"
"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"
"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"
"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"
"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"
"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"
"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"
"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"
"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)
"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"
"is a soft floor?"
"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"
"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"
"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"
"what ab smoking grass /j"
"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"
"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"
"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"
"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"
"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"
"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"
"i think i punched someone"
"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"
"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."
"bees are just spicy flies"
"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"
"My mom drank a bee once"
"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."
"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"
"mY LUNGSSSSSS"
"no one topping Him"
"I like em big"
"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"
"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"
"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"
"ZORO IS BANNED"
"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"
"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"
"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"
"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"
"screaming puppet"
"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"
"my hermit crabs ate each other again"
"we're cannibals ????"
"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"
"CARB DAY"
"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"
"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"
"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"
"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"
"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"
"Is that why your name is chaos"
"manifest the crab power!!"
"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"
"sighs adds to worship these entities list"
"with a knife <3"
"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"
"give me his eyes"
"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"
"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"
"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"
"CHUTES AND LADDERS"
"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"
"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"
"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"
"math my beloathed"
"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"
"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"
"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"
"Is that bipper"
"tumblr sexyman"
"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"
"I want a wing-suit"
"looks like a bean would poison someone"
"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"
"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"
"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"
"tell him he can steal my wallet"
"eyes"
"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"
"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"
"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"
"You can go cultbashing with he!"
"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."
"Simp Satan 📷"
"definitely arson"
"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"
"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"
"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"
annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:
"shiftblr but context makes it worse"
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uhhhhyandere · 4 years
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halloween special!
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hi everyone!!!! 
for halloween this year, inspiration struck and i decided to craft this halloween special demon/angel light au! i had so so much fun writing this and hope yall enjoy it!!!
no matter where you are in the world, if you celebrate halloween or not, i hope you all are doing amazing and know that you are so so loved (by me) and thank you all for the love and support you give! i love every single one of y’all and let’s finish out the year the best we can!!!! 
word count: 7.2k 
And He will bring hell with him. 
The grass will gray, and the trees will blanket with ash as all life is left withered, limp, and colorless in his wake. He takes, and takes, and takes with the full red moon on his back and the stars glittering on his lips in golden lies. Should his, Kira's eyes, red with ire from his unattained vision, seek you out, you are bound to the pits of hell itself for eternity. 
"Well, that's what the tale says," Misa said. "If you believe in that kinda stuff." She flipped the book over to display the illustrations. You leaned over to get a closer look. "They really have to make evil people this beautiful, huh?" You looked at her incredulously. "What? You're thinking the same thing! I just said it…" Her eyes trailed down to the pages again. 
"He was a mortal once?" Misa nodded her head and adjusted herself on the sofa for you to scootch closer. Her red manicured nails slipped the page over to the next. 
"Who tried to be a god." You squinted down at the new page and pointed. 
"She kinda looks like you." She laughed. 
"Just wait," Misa replied. "Anyway, he was young, a few years below us, when he came across the power to make him a god. He was not chosen nor special. The power was left to be picked up by any traveler. It just so handed to be dropped outside of his family's farm, and he just so happened to be who he was. An ambitious genius with the same hunger for power the poor have for food. He used this power to rise above all others and to kill any who dared step in his way." Tragic art painted the pages as Misa continued to flip through them. 
"How?" Misa shook her head. 
"They don't know. We don't know. A creature crueler than Kira. A bored god looking to stir trouble. A blessing that was used as a curse. Perhaps all. Perhaps none." She giggled. "Exciting, isn't it?" You scoffed. 
"Yeah, yeah. Keep going." 
"But he had enemies. No mortal man should wield what Kira wielded. Those who wanted to strip him of his power and deliver justice to those he had ridden of, not grasp the power, the golden throne, he sought. They played games with one another. Cruel, cunning games of who would outsmart the other. He who was supposed to condemn his power and he who had it used the same means to win.
"Us. Regular people used and thrown away to further their game. There was one," she pointed at the girl who resembled herself, "who picked up the same power as he. It was her who tried to love him, that bent at his word, that carried out his will." Misa swallowed, "but he had lost his ability to love, or that's what was thought until..." Misa cut herself off. 
"Kira and his nemesis continued to use, to manipulate the very ground the other walked on. All until he finally stood at the foot of the throne of the world he thirsted for. Pristine and shining, it stood above the clouds themselves. This is where he was slain, where his blood stained the stone, the rug, the throne, infecting and cursing them. The throne cracked, contorted, twisted, and fell. Down, down it fell until he and the now blackened throne were in hell. 
"One day, when the full moon shines on the bleeding night, he will rise, and he will bring hell with him. He will claim what he has lost to reign over the world of men. The grass will gray, and the trees will blanket with ash as all life is left withered, limp, and—,"
"I know that much," you interrupted, "but I'm confused. Did you leave a part out? Where you cut yourself off, I mean." White teeth dragged across her lip. 
"After," she started to rapidly flip the pages, "after he was banished to hell, they found…" Her flipping stopped at the very last page, "this." 
On the page was a cage with gnarled black metal and a large gash across the bars. A human whose arms crosses on their chest in an 'X.' Their feet were bound together and tied with rope to the middle's central support pole. Blood trickled down their face, torso, and legs. Beautiful, broken, ripped wings crumpled at their back. "He had stolen an angel. Broken them. Claimed them. Upon their back, scars from where he had failed to rip them off their back." She hummed. "Kinda looks like you." 
You laughed nervously then scoffed, trying to get the haunted picture out of your brain. "Should his eyes, red with ire from his unattained vision, seek you out, you are bound to the pits of hell itself for eternity because you are who he has lost, and he will not fail again.
"But that's just how it goes!" Misa laughed good-naturedly and shut the book harshly. "Pretty scary, right?" You shook your head.
"Absolutely not. First, it's actually pretty disturbing. Secondly, it's so vague! No details on how he died, if the other guy killed him. You'd think after eons of repetition, they'd make stuff up." Misa shook her head. 
"Yeah, if you ask a bard, but do you really want to hear a romanticization of it in a song where they talk about how he loved whom he locked away and claimed? They do not sing about the reality, for it is far too gruesome for even documentation, much less for song. At least, that's what Rem told me. Being vague is the only option to make it tolerable, but I think she actually knows the truth and won't spill." You laughed and rose from the library's sofa. "So? It's my favorite story." 
"That's because that girl looks like you." 
"And?" You clicked your tongue. 
"I dunno. I did say it was disturbing, but you don't really believe in this kinda stuff, right?" You scratched the back of your head. 
"Of course, I do!" She giggled. "Ever since Rem took me in and taught me to read, it's been my favorite book." How could you forget what an oddball Misa was? You sighed. 
"Alright, believe what you want. Halloween is the day after tomorrow, after all. Be as spooky as you want." Misa rose and slipped the leather-bound book back into her bag. "Are you stealing that?" You harshly whispered. She shook her head. 
"Nope! It's Rem's." Oh, gee.
"I'd rather steal from the library—which has free books—a concept I just remembered for some reason than Rem. Do you have a death wish? Nevermind, don't answer that. Why did you make me come to the library again?" 
"Isn't this where people read?
"...You're right. I got nothing. Come on. I need to get back to the market. I promised my parents I would pick up the pumpkins Mello grew and carved. Apparently, people are putting lights in them to make the faces glow at night."  
Your village was reasonably large, set on the misty hillside of the mountain. Though the nearest city where the Earl of the region lived was a few miles down the path and knights on horses frequented here on their patrols, your village felt world's away from society. It was also relatively famous for the chapel, so travelers often stopped to visit, especially with the holiday season. 
It rested closest to where the cliff dropped into nothingness. Flowers surrounded it, and moss grew up its stone walls. Vivid glass windows decorated all sides and around the wooden doors. A tower ascended from the front to where a millennial old bell sat still for just as long, for it was only to ring when the world was set to end.
Within, pews lined the plush red rug. The rug ran straight to the golden altar, where a large statue stood behind. The stained glass filtered color light upon its flawless, stone complexion. Water poured from the few holes in the body down into the small pond around it. 
"Are we going to meet on Halloween?" Misa asked. "You know it's my favorite holiday! Everyone will be on the square dancing and dressed up!" You smiled. 
"Of course. You know my parents would not miss a party. We can meet on my porch since it's closer?" She nodded enthusiastically,
"Yes! That sounds perfect! See you then!" The blonde blew you a kiss and skipped in the direction of her house. You smiled before turning on your heel and approaching the square. 
Of course, the market would be busy with both locals and travelers. It was mid-day, and each stand had its unique, limited-time holiday goods. You had to squeeze your way to make it to Mello's stand. The blonde grimaced as you approached. Ah. He's in a good mood! 
"Afternoon, Mello." 
"Y/N," he regarded you. "You're really going to buy a pumpkin with a scary face? Would it really go with your garden?" You scoffed. 
"It's my parents, actually, and yes! I can be scary and festive! Not as good as you, Mello. I heard that you carved lots of pumpkins for the village." He hummed and motioned to those on the wooden stand. 
"Not for the village," he replied. "You still have to pay, got it?" You rose your hands. 
"Of course, of course." You began to browse the selection. "Will you be attending the festivities night of?" He scoffed. 
"No. Now pick your poison or leave." You smiled and reached for one with a broad crooked smile. "Terrible taste." You furrowed your brows. 
"...But you're the one who made it?" Mello's eyes widened for a second before narrowing once more. 
"It's one of my worse ones. I guess it'll go well with you, then." You laughed and rubbed the carved circle around the stem with your hand. 
"Yep! Sounds good, Mello." You reached into your pockets and dropped a few coins in front of him. "Keep the change. Happy Halloween!" Mello snatched the coins from the table and shooed you off. You morphed back into the crowd, maneuvering your way through the group back to your house.
An abrupt, intense headache wracked your skull, causing you to suddenly stop amid the crowd and wince, nearly dropping the pumpkin under your arm. With your free hand, you grasped your forehead, but the pain only escalated and pulsed down your body. Two particularly intense strands of pain erupted on your back.
Peeking up, the crowd blurred around you, but your eyes on a figure at the corner of the inn. He was too far to make out the intimate details besides his lithe frame and brown hair. For moments you locked eyes before he disappeared behind the inn. 
The pain stopped as if it was an illusion. You snapped back into reality, chest heaving in relief. A few eyes looked at you in concern, but no one stopped to ask. Thankfully so. You wouldn't know what to tell them if they asked what happened. 
Shaking your head, you safely made it to your small house hidden behind a large oak tree. 
"Oh! You got the pumpkin! How was Mello?" 
"Charming as ever, of course. I was just with Misa at the library before that. She told me the story about Kira and his fall to hell." Your mom nodded her head and took the pumpkin from your arm. 
"Ah, that's an old one. I guess she's always been the type to be into that stuff. It freaks me out, personally." You followed your mom to the kitchen. 
"Yeah, me too. I try to remind myself it's not real, but there's also the small tick in the back of my brain that tells me it may be, you know?" She nodded again. 
"Oh, I like this carving! Nice choice, Y/N, but yes, I do that too. Especially since Halloween, this year, is on the full blood moon. An ill omen in all tales. Luckily the town's party rids my mind of such horrors, as should yours. Anything else happen today?" You paused.
"N-no. Nothing comes to mind. I think I'm going to go find father then wash up before dinner. Is he still in the forest?" Your mom nodded. 
"Yep. He's been hunting that same deer for weeks now. Apparently, it has a rack of the like he has never seen before. Something of beauty. I think he doesn't even want to kill it as much as he wants to see it again." Your dad was somewhat of a conundrum. As much as he awed and loved nature, he was a hunter who made income on the sale of its pelts and horns. "I'm sure he hasn't found it yet. Maybe you can help."
Unlikely, but you liked to explore the misty pines surrounding your village. They were too safe and had a few secret spots where hollowed logs led to hidden clear ponds. Wishing your mom farewell, you entered the pines and inhaled their thick scent. 
Your dad's job was handy in that you knew the backwoods like the back of your hand. He taught you the ways to track and navigate through the seemingly identical trunks. 
He also unknowingly taught you to sense when something was off with the forest. After ten minutes of traversing, you finally had the feeling of dread. The mist was inches too low, the grass droplets too wet, and the temperature degrees too low. You held your breath and glanced at your surroundings. 
A silhouette. A deer's head with a rack so vertically high you thought your eyesight was failing you. Except, as you stepped closer, this deer had the body of a man standing upon his two legs. Large hollow eyes oozed mist. 
"..." something was whispered into the air. You continued to hold your breath. "...—/N." The deer-man gave no indication of moving, and you could not bring your feet to even wiggle the frost from your toes. "Y/N."
Your name. Crystal clear. Your breath hitched. His hand with long, natural claws extended forwards towards you. "Y/N," it repeated. "You mus—....—ere. No t—." You could not make out his words. 
"Y/N!" Another yell. This time you recognized it as your father. Eyes blown open, you wretched your eyes from the deer-man and sprinted towards the voice of your father. 
"I'm...sorry." 
"You're not telling us everything." Your father accused. After you ran head-first into your father, petrified and stumbling over every word, he urged you home and waited for you to take the bath you begged them to allow you to have before sitting you in the sitting room, the fire roaring under the holiday wreath behind you. 
'It just scared me. I've never seen a bear of its size." Why are you lying? You had no idea. As soon as your mom asked the first questions, lies flowed out of your mouth like the truth. Stories you naturally never could have conjured on the spot. Stories you would never because you did not lie, which is why your parents, despite their dubious expressions, did believe you. "I swear. I just got freaked out. I think it's because of the story Misa told me today."
"That girl," your dad muttered. 
"She told them the story of the man who fell to hell. Kira." Your dad nodded and rubbed his chin with his hand. 
"Ah, I see. That would do it. Y/N, I know the full blood moon is coming, but there's no need to fret. Stories are just stories, alright? Leave your candlelight on tonight should you be scared of the dark, alright? Me and your mom are in the room over, alright?" You nodded. "Good. Now, what's for dinner?"
You lit the candle that night. In your nightwear, you sat on the edge of the bed. Muffled moonlight streamed through the frosted window and reflected off the full-length mirror in the corner. You inhaled deeply through your nose and exhaled through your mouth.
"They're just stories. Just stories." Like a mantra, you repeated this under your breath as you ducked under the covers. Opening your eyes, though, you were met with a flash of shadow in the mirror. You jumped and stared at it with eyes open enough to feel the cold air. You waited for something in the still room to move, for it to flash again, but nothing did. Thankfully.
Still, you threw the blanket off of yourself and approached to assure yourself that yes, it was nothing, and yes, there was nothing: just your reflection and the room behind you.
Until you blinked. 
For a second, blood poured down your body and wetted down your clothes against your figure—wings broken and limp behind your back. 
You screamed and smashed the mirror with your fist on impulse. Along with the shards, your body fell to the ground, and actual bloodied hands kept you from collapsing entirely. However, the features in the fragments were not yours. The man, the one from the square, stared back, but at this closer view, you can see his eyes. 
Red. 
You threw yourself back against the wall and screamed. Your door busted open, and your parents barged in. Your mother ran to your side and took your hand in hers while your father took in the big picture around him. 
"I-I thought I saw something in the mirror. Misa told me once the m-mirror is the passage to the other world. I-I know it's stupid for me to react like this, but I just… I don't know. Do you think it's the blood moon?" Your parents were quiet. 
'It could be," your mother said. "The blood moon is supposed to come with magic. It enables beings to crossover from other worlds, from other planes. It is the ill omen, but crossing over is all they can do. They can't touch you or hurt you. That, I promise." You nodded. 
Your parents stayed with you, and, for the first time since you were literally a toddler, you slept in their room, blankets wrapped around you on their floor. Relief flooded your system when sunlight broke through the window. Though your sleep was haunted by vague images and muddled whispers, you slept through the night after the incident. 
"Are you sure you're okay?" Your dad asked. "You can skip your daily chores if you don't want to do them. Tomorrow too. Aren't I generous?" You laughed but shook your head no. 
"That's alright. I think if I stay home, I'll just keep thinking about it. I need to get my mind off of it. Doing chores will put my mind at ease. Some normalcy, I think." Your dad nodded, though you can tell your parents weren't eager to just forget the events of last night.
You knew someone, though, that would be eager to learn about them. 
"Misa, can you keep a secret?" She bit into an apple. 
"No," she replied simply. "I tell Rem everything, but that's it. I don't really talk to many other people here besides you and her, so no one else to tell, but I know Rem will mind her business. She talks to fewer people than I do." That was true. You could count the number of times you talked to Rem on a single hand, and Misa said she liked you. 
"Okay, don't freak out, but…" 
She freaked out.
"And they were red?" You nodded. 
"Glowing. A sinister smirk on his face. His hands in the reflection, touching my own through the glass. It was the same as the one I saw in the square right after we met." Misa's eyes widened in enthusiasm and jubilation.
"It's��him! It has to be! Kira!" You shook your head. 
"No, my mom explained it to me. It's a spirit from the other plane playing a joke on me. She told me that after I stopped crying and fled to their room before I passed out. That story isn't real. It… can't be." Misa shook her head and leaned forward. 
"It is! It's not that you don't believe it's real; it's that you don't want to believe it's real! Y/N, you have to believe me." You grimaced and backed away to create some breathing room.
"Why would I want it to be real?" You whispered solemnly. "Why would I want that to happen to me? I can't believe it's real. It can't be real. I'm terrified if it is real, okay? If my parents think it's real because I do, they'll tell the church, and if the church finds out? You know how they deal with spiritual trespassers and those they possess. I'd basically be dead. My soul stripped from my being to ensure I do not bring harm to anyone else. I would be a hollow body, Misa! Don't you get that!?" You inhaled a ragged breath. 
"...Has anything happened today?" You shook your head. "It's already almost sunset, so that's a good sign, at least. Sorry, I got too excited. Your feelings and safety are important. Okay, I promise I won't tell a soul about this." You breathed a sigh of relief. 
"Thank you. I just… don't know what to do." 
"Have you gone to the chapel? The water from the statue is supposed to cure any possession." You shook your head. "Okay! I think I know your next steps, then. Come on!" She stood abruptly from the bench and held out her hands. "Let's go!" 
She dragged you across the diameter of town until your footsteps echoed across the chamber. A few holy people greeted you as they did their duties. Some travelers prayed at the pews for good luck and well-being. A single man stood next to the pond where the statue stood. 
"Greetings," he welcomed. "I recognize you two from town, but I don't believe we've met. My name is Soichiro. Are you here to drink from the spring?" Misa nudged you forward. 
"Y-yes. Oh, I'm Y/N." He nodded. 
"I see. Does the blood moon have you nervous? Don't worry. Lots of people come to do the same before a blood moon. Come and cup your hands and drink the water. Any disease in your soul shall be healed." You lowered yourself down to your knees and cupped the crisp water between your palms. You lowered yourself to sip, and you swallowed. 
But it would not go down. 
You began to cough, and your body convulsed with coughs. Liquid did come from your mouth, but the drops upon the ground were not clear, but a vicious red. Soichiro yelled for the other holy people as your body shook and twisted. Ropes bound your wrists, and hands steadied your head—arms wrapped around your waist to keep you as still as possible. A man placed his palm on your forehead and whispered incomprehensible words. When he finished, he ripped his hand away, and your breath was restored. You were unable to fall with the tight grip they still had on you. 
"W-what happened?" You asked, feeling the tears on your cheeks continuing to inch down and the blood drying on your chin. "I-I don't know. I'm sorry." 
"Take them to the purification chamber."
"No! Please, no! Help me! Someone, please help!" It was a joint effort between numerous holy people to lift your struggling form from the ground. "Misa! Mom! Dad!" you called out for, yet, in the chapel, none of them were there. However, your screaming did not stop for them until you were placed on a large chair and gagged. Your legs were bound to the bottom of the chair, and arms rebound to the arms. Holy people circled around you. 
The chair you were in was much less a chair and more so a throne. Pure white metal was attached directly to the ground. Red cushioning provided comfort to your rear and back. With ragged breaths, you looked waited until one of them spoke or did anything besides watch you. It was the man who sentenced you here that approached. 
"Soichiro," someone called, but he ignored them and angled his head down towards you.
"I am going to undo your gag. Do not scream. I just want you to tell us the truth if you know anything. Sometimes… they do things without signaling a mortal." Large calloused hands undid the gag, and you inhaled greedily. "Now, tell us."
"A-are you going to take my soul?" 
"Speak first. I cannot make promises I do not know if I can keep." You swallowed and explained what you could to them. Your eyes were focused on the ground. The terror you would feel if his reaction was bad was too grand for you to meet his eyes. The silence after you ended your experience was deafening. "I see." He looked to a holy person nearby. "We need twenty-four-hours to prepare for the ritual. It leaves us with little room before the blood moon rises. If we do not store their soul… go now. It is much worse than any of us could have imagined." Your heart plummeted. 
"W-what? No! Please! Tell me what's going on! D-don't take my soul, please! I-I want to live! I'll run away! You'll never see me again!" Soichiro stared at you with what you hoped was empathy. The bags under his eyes spoke of his wisdom and his exhaustion. He motioned for the rest of the holy people to leave, so it was just him standing over you. 
"I'm sorry, child." He spoke softly, knuckles wiping the tears flowing down your face. "No matter how far you run, no matter how fast, no matter how well you hide, no matter how you continue on: alive or dead, he will come for you. The moment you locked eyes in the mirror, you were bound to him, just as you always have been." You shook your head, vehemently. 
"It's not true, is it? Kira... is he…?" Soichiro smiled sadly. "It can't be… it can't be me. It's impossible." You sobbed. "How? Please, at least tell me before… before…" You couldn't even make the words out. 
"My son," he began, "was always destined for greatness, but then greatness found him, and he became too great. The power he found was a single, black notebook. Write someone's name, and they would pass. It originally is from a Shinigami, a god of death, that possessed him while he owned it, but… there are forces more potent than Shinigami in the universe. He and his opponent, the one who sought to bring the mysterious killer Kira, my son, that plagued the land to justice, who we called L, always were at a battle of wits, of plans, but, in the end, my son won.
"But this victory angered others. It was they who killed him at the throne of the world. It was they who watched him plummet to hell. It was they who built the statue in this chapel and sealed him in hell so he could never return, but they have long passed. Their magic fading in time. I could do nothing in all this time except pray to angels to keep my son at bay." He paused and looked up solemnly. "You must be wondering how I am alive," He looked down at his pale hands. 
"The notebook is gone now. The Shinigami that dropped it fled back to his world when Lig- Kira, was cast down to hell. I, too, touched the notebook. A scheme my son created to get ahead. The curse of it never went away, and I am now stuck to live eternity until my son ends it." He clenched his fist. "I did not know you were so close. I did not know it was you. If I did… I would have taken your soul long before you could have known life without it." You shook your head. 
"I don't understand. What is my part? The book… the book only showed a cage with… someone in it. The story has no word of them. Just the girl… the weapon that served him." Soichiro sighed. 
"Back then, the plane between the mortal realm and other words was thinner when angels and spirits would roam mortal lands. You were an angel. A new one. Young. Wide-eyed and drawing silver linings wherever you walked. Someone he set to ruin. Someone with a soul so pure that he can take and twist to his own liking. No one should see you except him, so he locked you away and bound his soul to yours and your soul to his. As long as he lived, whether here or hell, you would too. 
"But just your soul. Unlike me, whose mortal body is stuck, it is solely your soul that has been recycled for eons. His part, the part of his soul within you, could only be awakened should your eyes meet his. Then, with his entire soul active and with the power of the red blood moon, he will be able to break the barrier that seals him tomorrow night. We must lock away part of his power, so he cannot walk this land again. 
"Should he, then he will seek to claim all that was taken from him. The mortal world will fall as we know it. Those he inevitably tricked in hell to follow him will breakthrough behind him. What the world deserves for not seeing him as the god he sees himself as." Tears pooled in Soichiro's eyes. "I still love my son. The bright-eyed boy, but he cannot love. What he feels for you is something far darker, something twisted. I do not know what he will do if he finds you. You will be better off soulless." You sobbed. 
"B-but the deer-man in the woods. Do you - I mean…" He furrowed his brows and shook his head. 
"I don't know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry my son came upon you. No one deserves this fate." You wretched in your bindings, ragged breaths, and eery whines escaping your mouth. "Some will be around to feed you later, and someone… someone will explain everything to your parents. 
"Let me see them!" You yelled out. "Please! One last time! They don't know anything! I just want to… please, I… I get it. Why you have to do this, but please let me say goodbye. Please. I just," you bit your bottom lip to prevent another wail, "please." Soichiro shook his head. The man could no longer maintain eye contact with you.
"I can't. We cannot risk you talking to anyone lest risk his jealousy. As far as we are concerned, you are not you. You are his." You pulled against the ropes once more. "I'm… so sorry. It is best for everyone that he does not see you with others while he is powerful enough to watch this world. I hope you never forgive me." Crestfallen, he turned his back and approached the door. 
"No! Come back! Please! Don't leave me alone here! P-please! S-Soichiro!" Only the slam and locking of the door met your calls. 
You don't know how long you howled and wailed, how many times it echoed back in the circular chamber to your ear. There came the point where your body could make no more tears, so you were left with pathetic dry heaves. It was then that a voice whispered in your head. 
"Y/N…" It was different than the voice in the woods. It was sinister, deep, evil. You focused on anything, the floor's intricate patterns, the ceiling, the running water behind the chair, the plants around the circumference of the room, anything to not acknowledge it. "Oh, aren't you a gift wrapped up for me? Clearly my father's work. Don't ignore me, Y/N. I know your every move. I know you can hear my every word" 
"F-fuck you!" You cried, and he laughed. Then, he clicked his tongue.
"Such dirty words. You're not the angel I remember, fresh out of the clouds. Ah, but there wasn't much angel left, from what I can recall. Do you feel it, Y/N? It shouldn't be long now…" For a long time, nothing happened, then, like two knives down your back, you screamed. "Ah, there it is. Those screams, I do remember. I don't care if it hurts." Blood soaked the cushion behind you and flowed down to your rear. "You brought this on yourself. This is what you deserve." 
"I didn't do anything!" You writhed. 
"Is that what my father told you? Is that what the story says? Oh, they couldn't be more wrong, love. You denied me what I deserve. You could have fallen to hell right with me, where you can be where you belong, but you stayed. I couldn't have you running back to the angels to live your days without me. I wouldn't allow it. If I hadn't had Mikami lock you in that cage, if I hadn't bound our souls, your grave would be in the flower fields above the clouds, but you got conceited. 
"Let me remind you of something, love. You are mine. Your body, your mind, your heart, your soul, what's between your legs, it's all mine. We are bound for eternity, Y/N. There is nothing you can do about it." He got quiet just as the immediate pain receded, leaving you with intense throbs. 
"You… won't get the chance," you spoke through tears. "Big talk for someone who isn't even going to breach this plane." A flash of pain sparked in your skull. He chuckled. 
"Oh, Y/N. Perhaps you are just as green as you were when we met. I can't wait to feel you again. To have you watch me burn the world." Silence. 
Despite your exhaustion, you could not sleep. You might as well have melted into the chair in how your body did not move a single inch, too scared to bother your wounds, and have the pain come back that is still aching. You did not want to spend your last hours unconscious. No one came to feed you.
"They're coming," he said. "They'd better be quick, then. The moon is almost up out there, after all." He groaned, and you jolted at the feeling of a cold hand on your neck. 
Soichiro and a train of holy people entered the room and surrounded you. He approached your limp body and undid your bounds. You did not miss him tense, and his eyes widen at the pool of blood in the seat from your back. 
'We must hurry. Any minute he will come through." Soichiro enlisted others to help him carry you back up the stairs to the altar. "Twenty four hours in the chamber has amplified their soul. It explains the marks on their back from their past life. Quick, on the altar!" The cloth was smooth against your skin as they placed you. 
Movement flurried around you as different scents were sprayed, various objects were placed on the ground and on the altar around you, and foreign words were spoken around you. Fatigue racked your body. There was not a single inch of your body that you could to move. 
Soichiro stood over your body. Your eyes, dead and clouded, stared up at him. In his hand was a singular, transparent, glass object. Quickly, he lifted his hand, ready to plunge it down. 
A loud bang resounded in the chapel, and the glass fell with a splatter of blood. You rolled your head to the side and watched two bodies approach from the entrance. All of the holy people around you were blown limply against the walls around you. It was only when they were right above you that you recognize it was Misa and Rem. 
"Rem, can you carry them? Do you still have your strength?" 
"Do not worry, Misa," she replied. Long arms lifted you while Misa skipped ahead and smiled reassuringly back at you. Music filled the crisp air. Lights hanging from the trees and other ornaments swept by your visual field. You groaned and lulled your head to face Misa. 
"M-Misa, no." You groaned. "He's coming." She giggled and turned around. Skipping backward, her smile widened. Behind her, the crowd gathered in the village square. Their vivid garments stuck out under the lights. 
"Of course I know, silly! Rem is a Shinigami just as the one who gave Kira his power. Just like he had a notebook, I had Rem's, but it was destroyed eons ago. Still, it binds me to live eternally, just like Soichiro. Luckily, Rem's cloaking magic covered me when I've met him, or he would have spoiled it all for us!
"When I saw you, I knew it was you. No matter how you may physically change, your heart and soul are always the same. Now, he's going to return to us. He's going to spearhead the new world." She twirled her hair around her finger. "Isn't that exciting?" 
You had no strength to fight in Rem's hold. Even if you did, you were unsure if you would be able to beat a Shinigami. 
Eyes were drawn to you as your bloodied and weak form was carried by an almost unidentifiable figure. Gasps echoed across the crowd, the music stopping as you presumably reached the square. 
"They watch helplessly," he spoke. "They know you are not theirs to touch. Soon, they will all know my power. They will all know who you belong to. Keep your eyes open, love."  
"Y/N! Y/N! Move! That's our child! Move! Y/N! The desperate calls of your parents broke through the crowd, but Rem presumably pushed them far back just the holy people, scaring the public to still and part for your funeral march. You heard the sick smack of bodies against a surface. Misa hummed to herself in front of you. Your head rolling back, you met Mello's wide and helpless eyes as he stood in the crowd. 
Misa led you away from the crowd and stopped at the flagpole at the village's entrance gates with the group following. Rem retied you to the base of the flagpole; your arms crossed over your chest in a familiar 'X,' legs and waist bound to the pole. Misa's settled herself next to you.
"All!" She called. "Watch as the blood moon rises behind the chapel! He who fell to hell is rising again to take what is rightfully his!" She pointed to the moon as it brilliantly glowed crimson above the chapel. Murmurs rose from the crowd, suspicious and fearful. "Watch as our god returns to the mortal realm!" 
The church bell rang. Its deathly reverberations echoing in your ear. The crowd fell to silence. 
"Have you missed me, love?" He spoke. "Because I have missed you." 
A red beam of light erupted from the chapel, followed quickly by multiple explosions. The statue, the roof, the infrastructure all crumbling by the expanding beam of light that touched the sky, screams erupted from the crowd, and they began to scramble. You pulled with what little strength you had left, but the pole against your back seized you in pain to cease your movements.
A silhouette could be made out of the beam. Large black wings spread from his back, sharp and jagged. Hands rose above his head before he dropped down in front of the chapel submerged in flames. His shadow enraptured you, and though his shadow was mostly unclear from a distance, you could make out his eyes even from here. Slowly, he took his first step forwards. 
Every needle and leaf in the trees around him fell. The grass withered all around him. Ash from the sky and littered the ground. With each step, the radius expanded until more and more life died around him. Your eyes trailed to the unconscious bodies of your parents against a tree. His zone of death stretched farther than them. 
"Eyes on me." 
"You're going to kill them!" You screeched. "Stop this madness at once!" You shook in your bonds. Misa was frozen next to you, eyes wide in anticipation as he approached. 
"Ordering me around? Perhaps you still are conceited. I think killing them will remind you of your place, hm?" Unfortunate humans were reduced to ash in his radius. The wind blew the ashes all around him, gently lifting his brown tufts of hair. "These mortals are nothing compared to you and I. Accept me as your mate. Accept the part of your soul that is my own, and the pain will all go away. You'll be dragged down to hell, and I'll bring you right back up." 
Your parent's ashes were a different color than the rest. 
"You know, it's been an eternity since I've heard you call my name. Do you even remember it?" You shook your head and squeezed your eyes shut. The thick scent of smoke, of ash, of death, permeated the air. "Eyes on me." He was almost here. Arms extended to the side, he approached from the other side of the square now. 
"Misa, we need to leave." 
"No! He's here! He's finally here, Rem!" 
"His aura will kill you, Misa." 
"No, I won't! He won't!" Rem, at lightning speed, grabbed Misa and flew in the other direction. "No! Put me down! I'll never forgive you! Stop!" Her voice echoed until it was out of range. Your head lashed back and forth, looking for any sign of life, but there was none: just ash, dying grass, and gnarled, graying trees. 
Dressed in all black, eyes blazing, teeth sharp, wings stretched, he now stood before you with the moon on his back. You pushed yourself against the pole despite the shock of pain. The grass around you died, the bugs vanishing, but you remained fine. You stared at his feet. 
"Oh, love," soft fingers reached down and tilted your head up. "You're as beautiful as I remember." Black wings encircled you, so you could only see him. "Do you remember my name?" You shook your head, and he gripped your chin harder. "Do not lie to me. Say my name, Y/N. Sew the wounds of your forsaken wings and accept your place with me." His voice resounded in you. "You feel it. I know you do. I feel your pain. Your fear. I've felt every emotion your reincarnations have ever felt. Say my name." He leaned in close.
"Kira." He clicked his tongue. 
"Stop resisting," he hissed. "Say my name, Y/N." His breath glided against your cheek. His hand moved to cup your jaw, and the other trailed down your waist.
"Light." It came off your lips quickly, easily, and he smiled, eyes widening with pleasure. Immediately, relief filled your physical body, your back's pain dissolving. Your head tilted back in bliss. 
"Y/N," he whispered against your neck. "Finally." He inhaled your scent deeply, hand tilting your head to give him more access. He placed a small kiss against your skin. His kisses trailed upwards, along your jaw, frantic against your cheeks, nose, until he captured your lips and stole your breath. 
"Oh, Y/N," he whispered against your lips. "I love you."  
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Text
I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1
lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.
im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.
Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.
So… a disclaimer before I begin… 
I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…
If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)
This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 
which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.
Now onto the fun stuff
I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 
AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).
So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.
The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.
 i don’t give a solid fuck. 
Not one. 
Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 
And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.
This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 
AND BOI is it a miss. 
SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)
25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 
24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,
28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,
37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,
41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,
44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,
47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,
48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,
51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,
66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,
67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,
68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,
69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,
70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,
71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,
73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)
 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,
New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,
That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 
Too bad it means nothing.
Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)
Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.
Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 
I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 
How’s that for a ‘first’ post?
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Note
May I please order a cake (written matchup for haikyuu)? I can be described as introverted and withdrawn because of events in life despite being outgoing and lively in the past. I randomly doze off and daydream a lot when I’m alone, with friends, and family. Because of my introverted personality I am often mistaken for cold a lot because of my “resting bitch face.” Once people get to know me I am just emotionally shy and empathetic. Even though I can respond and identify to the feeling of others, I have a hard time expressing my own and try not to express it often. When I’m with friends I am very upbeat, joyful, and hardworking by supporting my friends and family and putting their needs before my own and keeping them happy. I’m pretty much independent and a hard worker that spends too much caring for everyone but myself. My friends describe me as a good listener and easy to talk with because I Am open-minded and easygoing. I like to watch anime, read manga, play video games (final fantasy and kingdom hearts: my favorite series. also metal gear, solid, resident evil etc.), watch DC comic films and shows XD Besides that, my ultimate favorite hobbies include drawing fan arts of Kpop groups & anime, while listening to music (second ultimate favorite hobby). I also like to swim and drive around because of my love for adventures and imagination (also relaxation). I have a strong passion of disliking bugs (especially cockroaches). I especially love to eat sweets , in particular boba and macaroons. I have big brown eyes, long wavy brown hair, baby face (don’t look my age. I Am mistaken for looking 13-17), slender body. I am half-Chinese, el salvadoran, and French descendent. Sexuality: heterosexual Age: 24 gender: female.
Were gonna age our boy up for you here
We’ll say your both 24 here
🍰 for @otakupandasworld
Romantic Matchup
Kita Shinsuke
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How yall met
Aran had actually introduced you two
You and Aran have been friends for a while
And he couldn't help but notice how similar you and his ex captain acted
So when kita decided to come into the city to visit
He thought it would be a good idea to introduce you two
You two didn't really talk to each other at first
And Aran was afraid that introducing you two was a mistake
However he was proven wrong when he came back from the bathroom to see Kita smiling
Wait
Kita was smiling?
Omg
Did he just laugh at something you said?
Turns out when Aran was gone you and kita had fallen into a conversation about his rice farm
You had told him that you really wanted to live out in the country because you feel like you needed to spend a year or two just focusing on yourself
He laughed saying he had felt the same way before he moved
He told you that he would be in the city for a few days if you ever wanted to hang out
And if you ever decided of moving to the country to give him a call
You two had hung out a few more times before he went back home
And you even stayed in touch when he went back
about a month later you had called him saying you were going to take a vacation in the country and asked if it would be alright if you stayed with him while you were there
He agreed and soon enough you were at his front door with your bags
Since you guys were so far out in the country it really allowed you both to get to know each other
And by the end of your stay you realized how much you liked living in the country
So you decided to move
Kita had kindly offered for you to stay with him until you could get a place of your own
Which you accepted
After about 3 months of living together kita had confessed that he's grown feelings for you
Lucky for him you felt the same way
Yeah lets just say you never ended up finding your own place...
What they love about you
He loves how you seem to always know hows hes feeling
Now Kita is a man of very few words
And even fewer expressions
He knows that this can cause problems when some people are trying to read his emotions
But somehow you always seem to know how he's feeling without telling you
He loves how caring you are
Even though you said you wanted to move to the country to focus on you
You still check in with all of your friends and family almost everyday
There have even been times where you take the long journey back to the city because someone needed you
He loves that you care so much
But he also wishes you would take some time to care for yourself too
He loves how hardworking/helpful you are
Your always helping kita around the farm whenever you can
And he can tell you put all of your effort into helping
And when your not helping on the farm
You can usually be found inside helping tidy up the house
Honestly kitas never had a helping hand around the farm before
So he really appreciates it whenever you offer to help
He loves your sense of adventure
Every once in awhile you'll drag him off of the farm
And just go driving around the countryside
Seeing What new places you can find
Ngl you've gotten lost many many times on these little road trips
But that just adds to the fun!
Favorite things to do together
Omg
This man SCREAMS domestic
Like hell find little joys in doing things like
Cooking dinner with you
Reading with you
Taking walks with you
Cleaning with you
The little things yk
But he does love it when you guys will take little getaways to the city
Hell admit running a farm can get exhausting
So he likes it when you two just pack your things and plan a weekend in the city
Going to shops
Exploring
Seeing old friends
He loves it all
Random Hc
He kills all the bugs inside the house
Thank god
And he doesn't even kill them
He just catches them and sets them free outside
Soft boi ❤️
He made you an art room inside the house
Every now and then hell just go in there and admire some of your works
Whenever you guys go to the market he makes sure to stock up on sweets for you
But he has to hide them so you don't eat them all
Sundays are your quote unquote relaxation days
It's basically where you tidy up the house while listening to music
Then spend the rest of the day enjoying eachothers company
Whether that be reading together
Watching movies together
Or playing video games together
He doesn't really care to play video games
But he likes to spend time with you so hell play them anyways
His nicknames for you include: Dear, My love, and Sweetness
Old couple vibes right here
Overall Aesthetic
Honeycore 🍯
Songs-
Falling for you (peachy and mxmtoon)
Put your head on my shoulder (paul anka)
Can't help falling in love with you (Elvis)
Mr.Sandman (The Chordettes)
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fae-redux · 3 years
Text
im stuck on you
S: People usually find their soulmate by following their heart (the closer you are to your soulmate, the warmer you’ll feel). Remus has been pining for so long, he doesn’t know how to handle himself.
P: dukeceit
happy birthday, @littlemisschameleon!! it’s corona and i can’t give you a physical present so have some dukeceit soulmate au!! i hope you like it :D (here’s an ao3 link if yall like that formatting better)
***
Remus sends the letter because Roman’s teacher thinks a penpal will help him learn English. Also, because Roman thinks it’s stranger danger and won’t. 
If he gets kidnapped, at least there’s a chance for his heart to feel warmer whichever direction his kidnapper goes. Fact remains, he’s freezing and bored and he’d do pretty much anything to not be.
He neglects to say that in the letter. 
His penpal instead receives the gift of approximately two full pages of fun facts about different species of mushrooms and how fast they can decay different animals. It’s pretty well written, if he says so himself, and it’s all in English because he’s polite, not because it has to be.
Any who, Ms. Andrea says she’s not going to read the letters before they’re sent, and Roman is only required to send one at a time, so Remus signs it with his own name and lets it go.
He doesn’t expect the letter he gets back to be so nice.
His penpal’s name is Janus and he doesn’t like to eat mushrooms unless they’re in fried rice, but he loves how mushrooms look.
There are little mushroom doodles that line the bottom, along with a few snakes, which Janus goes on to say is because they’re his favorite animal because of the way they unhinge their jaws.
Remus has never wished to be in the same school as someone more.
***
The next letter they write to each other includes their emails, and Remus takes full advantage of it to send Janus all the deadliest snakes he’s found out about in the library, and includes a pain scale with human accounts of getting bitten.
Janus sends back a heart and fun facts about the deadliest octopi in the ocean. 
He feels his heart get slightly warmer when he hugs the monitor, and when he loudly proclaims he found his soulmate, he gets a laugh from Roman.
He asks him what his plan is here, and Remus tells him to shut his fuck and keep his nose out of it if he doesn’t want to get smacked.
***
When they’re old enough to have phones, they exchange cell numbers, and Remus gets daily updates instead of sporadic emails.
He finds out that Janus likes to dress a little more on the punk side and that he wants a million tattoos as soon as he’s old enough. Janus tells him about foster homes and how he thinks he might be sticking with one of the other kids he met who is a little older than him, but is sort of like him. 
Janus is smart, smarter than anyone he’s ever met in real life, and he wants to go to law school because he knows he can talk his way out of hell if the devil asked him to try, and Remus is inclined to believe he could do it if he wanted to. He thinks through all his words, his every movement, ten times before he follows through, unlike Remus’ zero-thought policy.
He learns that Janus likes boys, but there aren’t really other people in his hometown like him, and that he wants to study in a big city someday so he’s not so alone. 
He learns that Janus wants to keep talking to him forever, or at least that’s what he tells him.
Remus in turn tells him about his brother, and their origin story. He tells him about how everyone else just seemed to have grown out of curiosity and how he feels out of touch with other people his age sometimes. 
There’s still a part of him that feels like he’s been touching all the stars in the sky, but none of them have set his orbit quite right, leaving him drifting endlessly.
He tells him that he might like boys too, but he doesn’t really want to tell his mom because she already rags on him for everything else, like wanting to go to art school and his knife collection and how he’ll never meet his soulmate with an attitude like his. 
He doesn’t tell him about the small seed of doubt in the back of his head that Janus won’t want to stay if he ever meets him in real life. 
He tells him he wants to keep talking forever too.
***
They don’t ever talk about meeting in person. For the first time in their lives, they’re in the same city, but every time he goes to bring it up, seeing a picture of Janus in the financial district, or near his favorite Starbucks, something makes him hesitate. 
Remus wants it so bad, it feels like all the air in his lungs isn’t real sometimes, or like something cut up his insides then spooned all the pieces out to replace them with ice. Still, the thought lingers in the back of his mind that Janus hasn’t suggested it for a reason. 
They still talk all the time though, whether it's to rant about professors, or homework, or siblings, or just about something they saw recently.
Janus tends to hyperfocus on cases he works on in his internship sometimes, and when he’s allowed, he tells Remus all the gory details and grins when he revels in the fun, while also giving valuable insight that contributes to his defense.
Remus in turn sends him the paintings that don’t involve Janus’ face and stupid selfies he takes at random food carts around school that are rumored to give you instant food poisoning. 
He makes sure to send progress updates on the projects he really feels good about and sends him updates on Roman and his new trends, whether they be six second dance videos or random quotes he’s said to him of varying hilarity based on how stupid they are.
The longer he lives in the city, the more Remus knows his heart feels warmer. He’s been feeling it since the start of the semester, but he hasn’t said anything yet, at least not to Janus. Roman is free game, though:
“Roman, I swear to everything fuckable within a ten mile radius, he probably goes to the same college as me,” Remus groans, his feet propped up on the back of the couch as he lies upside down. “I get warmer every time I go to campus.”
“There’s a million colleges in New York, so he really might not be,” Roman says reasonably, doing his eyeliner in the hall mirror. “Besides, he’s pre-law, right? There’s no way.”
“You’re just being uppity because you fricking met your soulmate on campus,” He responds grumbling.
“You’re right, I am. My soulmate’s a genius and I am very lucky to have met him when I did,” His twin’s pride infects the room, and he throws one Roman’s unnecessary couch pillows at him. “If you make me screw up my eyeliner, I’m going to run you through with one of your stupid wall-katanas.”
“They aren’t stupid, and I’m never going to see him face to face at this rate, so you might as well,” he snipes back, his purely decorative wall-mounted katanas be damned.
Roman raises an eyebrow, as if his mocking will affect Remus at all, “I’ll be back in like three hours, then you can mope your heart out, okay?”
He gathers his things from the hall table as Remus yells at his retreating back, “I don’t mope, I’m not you!”
“No, you’re not, and that’s why you don’t have a hot date tonight!” he hears as the door shuts.
He wishes he kept the pillow to suffocate himself with.
***
When Roman knocks on Virgil’s door, he doesn’t expect the person who answers the door to be so familiar, and he’s sure the answering party doesn’t expect him either.
“I thought-Sorry, I thought my roommate’s soulmate was coming over,” Janus says, a flash of recognition in his eyes, completely stunned in a way Roman has never heard while listening in on his brother’s phone calls. 
“Yeah, no, I’m here for Virgil. Janus, right?” And at the immediately suspicious look goes, “Oh, for fuck’s sake, you send my brother at least five selfies a week, and he agonizes over your beauty for ages after every single one, you have to know I would recognize you on sight.”
“....Roman?” he asks, like he doesn’t actually know what was going to leave his mouth when he said it.
“That would be me,” Roman just goes for the back of his neck, before wincing at the Remus-like gesture. “So, uh, Virgil?”
“Yeah, yes!” Janus opens the door fully so fast, Roman almost expects him to run himself over, “Do come in. Would you like anything while you wait? Water? Tea?”
“Nah, I’m good,” Janus hovers for a moment like he’s going to say something, but bites his lip instead, “Want to know how my brother is doing?”
He shifts elegantly, though his chains rattle, making the adjustment more obvious, “Of course not, what do you take me for?”
“A liar, you definitely want to know how he’s doing. Well, you’ll be happy to know he lives fifteen minutes away,” Roman grins, “And he’s home alone right now, pouting about wanting to see you, if you wanna go over.”
“It would be rude to leave you unattended in my home,” Janus replies, his voice strangled. “Arrangements can be made to get Virgil to hurry up.”
Leaving the room in a swift movement of leather and metal, Janus nearly vaults the couch in his haste. Roman can hear him yelling at Virgil to “Hurry up, you nasty, spider-pet keeping bitch,” and his soulmate’s yells to “Get out of my room, you tattooed skank!” Then an offended gasp, “How dare you?” and the snarling response, “You barge into my space and-”
“You hooked up with my soulmate’s brother-”
”Who is my soulmate, idiot!”
“Would you just-”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
Janus leaves the room and, in Roman’s line of sight, straightens his shirt as if he’d just been in some sort of scuffle. “Virgil will be out shortly, if you wouldn’t mind giving me the address.”
“You two are going to be related if you marry my brother, you know?” Roman grins as he puts the address into Janus’ phone.
He takes the phone back and rolls his eyes, “We were fostered by the same family. We really can’t get any closer, but I’ll keep that in mind.”
“We were adopted by the same person, Jan, why do you always conveniently leave that part out?” Virgil grumbles as he enters the room. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and be safe.”
Janus sniffs turning up his nose, “I’m going to get violently murdered before I even make it there,”
“Don’t test me, I will put off this date,” he pushes Janus’ head forward so he can’t look up at them. “Be safe, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Janus mumbles, fixing his hat and his chained belt, “Do I look okay?”
“My brother is a trash rat,” Roman responds, louder than he means to, “You will look like a model next to him and you will constantly get questioned as to why you’re in a five foot radius of him.”
“So, good?”
“Fantastic,” Roman confirms. “Now have fun.”
Janus double checks his pockets for his phone and his wallet, and then he books it in the direction of the twins’ apartment.
***
For the first time since he moved in, Remus feels himself getting warmer by the second. It’s not as though he’s moved from his spot going over every single thing that could currently be going wrong at Roman’s date, but somehow, his heart is pounding like he has.
“What do you see?” He asks it, vaguely aware it can’t actually respond. Either his soulmate just figured out where he lives, or there is something extremely important happening in the city.
Picking up his phone to check, it lights up with a text from Roman reading ‘Sending a pick-me-up your way,’ but he has no idea what it means.
After two minutes of constant heat, he searches for major events happening nearby. Nothing.
Five more minutes pass, and he thinks he might die young to a heart attack.
There’s a knock on the door.
His self preservation instincts must be completely nonexistent at this point because he yanks the door open with a knife in his hand and freezes. There, right in front of him, is Janus, who he thought he’d never see, and who was always too good for him, and yet, perfect for him in every way and, “I could have accidentally killed you with one of my many wall-hung weapons because you didn’t knock like Roman,” and that is the first thing he chooses to say to his soulmate.
“I wouldn’t have appreciated the trip to the hospital after I just sprinted over half a mile to see you,” he pants a little, “I know we didn’t talk about it, but Roman showed up at my door, and I knew you had to be nearby, and I just-”
Remus yanks him forward into his arms, and sighs in relief as the heat abruptly goes away, “Mr. I-think-everything-through needed to be impulsive, huh?”
“Yes,” Comes the fervent response as he clings to Remus’ body. “I missed you.”
“I thought you didn’t want to meet up. We didn’t even-”
“I know,” And Janus’ mouth brushes his cheek, just barely, because he’s not tall enough to reach, and Remus bends down, and kisses him soundly on the mouth, the feeling running through his body like a new kind of heat and comfort, and it feels like he’s done it a million times, even if it’s the first time.
Breaking apart, he notices they’re just standing in the doorway of his apartment. “Come inside, sweetheart,” He wiggles his eyebrows salaciously, Janus bursting into laughter as he pushes him back. 
“Nope,” He grins fondly, and this is the first day of the rest of their lives, it hits Remus, “I think I’m going to cause problems on purpose.”
“Fair enough, honeybee,” He tugs at the yellow cuffs of Janus’ leather jacket, pressing a kiss to a tattoo at the edge of his hairline, “Want me to carry you? Roman did say he was sending a pick-me-up, and I can definitely pick you up.”
He’s giggling, Remus delights as he scoops him up, kicking the door shut behind them, “If you call me one more pet name, I will combust, and you will have no soulmate to be with, is that what you want?”
And he says what he wants to say, because Janus has never once cared about the shit that leaves his mouth, “Biscuit, I’ve waited so long to see you, even death couldn’t keep me away from holding you.”
Janus pushes into him and kisses him again, putting a hand in his hair, tugging slightly to get the angle he wants, “I wouldn’t want it to,” Then after another kiss, “Love you.”
Remus sighs into his mouth, his world aligning so he could be the orbit to Janus’ sun, the whole system correcting itself. “Yeah,” He holds him just a little bit tighter, “Love you, too.”
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nad-zeta · 4 years
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HC Modern AU: Uesugi-Takeda force in Quarantine
Hey, there loves! So here is the other half of our lovable warlords spending time in quarantine! Hope yall enjoy it! and I hope everyone is staying safe!^o^ Also just side note i’ll start back up with writing everyones matchups on Monday! <3
Yukimura
The two of you were sitting together playing videogames when the news broke
Yuki got a text from Sasuke saying he should check the news!
You finished your game before switching over to the tv mode; on your flatscreen.
OOOOH shit, Yukimura low key freaks out and thinks this is the start of the zombie apocalypse (maybe you shouldn’t have introduced him to black ops zombie mode)
“hey, dummy, we better hit the shops before they get cleared out.”
Is shook when he arrives at the shop, and all the shelves are empty, like WTF
The two of you spend most of your time together, snuggled on the couch playing videogames, or watching YouTube videos.
Yukimura is a definite fitness fanatic so he spent a good 10 minutes pouting when he got a notification on his phone saying all gyms would be closed
That okay, at least I can go jogging around the……………*TV playing in the background* “during the lockdown period all jogging, running, walking dogs and cycling is forbidden, and anyone found outside on foot will be locked up.”
Cue Yuki low key having a small breakdown about losing his gains. You kiss his forehead and put on your favorite YouTube fitness video
“Just cause the gym is closed doesn’t mean you can work out, dummy.”
The two of you will often do some small exercises in the garden together to soak in that vitamin D and keep fit!
Yuki will spend half his time phoning Shingen pestering him about his health
You usually drag Yuki to the coach and big spoon cuddle him while you run your fingers through his hair. He can’t help but worry about all his friends. You wrap your arms around him and bring him out of his panicked state. When he calms down, he switches with you and now gently holds you, nuzzling into your neck, leaving a few small kisses. “Dummy, I’m supposed to be the one reassuring you that everything is okay.”
Kenshin
The two of you are cuddling surrounded by your army of fluffy bunnies when you see the news about the virus break
“some guy named Corona is waging war against the world? Never fear love, I will kill anything that tries to lay a finger on you.”
Explains to Kenshin, that it’s a virus and an invisible enemy
“I don’t care if it’s a biological war or a physical one, I’m gonna kill it.”
You giggle while snuggling closer to Kenshin, “silly bunny lord.”
Kenshin makes sure that the two of you are stocked up for the long hall.
He low key bought all the alcohol in the liquor stores, as well as all the plumps he could get his hands-on.
Came back, followed by a few more stray rabbits, guess we will just have to make them part of the family.
The two of you spend your time together playing all sorts of random board games, mainly strategy based ones to soothe his need to fight.
Connect to Yuki and the other via Call of Duty Black ops server. The two of you troll everyone of your friends for laughs. Also, if Kenshin can’t kill people in real life anymore, then killing people over a game is the next best thing
The two of you love cooking together, Kenshin will make his picked plums, and you will make some nutritious food for the two of you, cause you definitely can't live off of just pickled plums
It's no secret that the two of you love to cuddle up to each other, surrounded by your sweet little bun buns. Your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling anxious about the whole state of the world is to, lie together in your hammock. You usually rest your head on his chest while he soothingly pulls his fingers through your hair. The lulls you into a relaxing sleep while protecting you from all the dangers of the world seen or unseen
Shingen
The second the news breaks you are beyond freaked out; you look up at Shingen with so much worry and fear in your eyes
This is a deadly virus for those with a compromised immune system and Shingen fits that description perfectly.
You make a point of it to do as much research as possible to make sure you are prepared for anything and everything
He juts smile at his worried little goddess, saying that if his beloved angel is at his side protecting him, then nothing will be able to harm him
You insist on doing the grocery and supply runs; you are sure to buy a year’s supply worth of alcohol and sweets.
Awww dang all the liquor stores are sold out! This must be Kenshin’s doing. DARN THAT GOD OF WAR. Well at least you have your and Shingen’s precious candy
You buy sooo, many gloves, hand sanitizers, and masks.
Sasuke is kind enough to organize Shingen his very own oxygen machine and bring the two of your some multivitamins to help fend off any threat
Loves to watch movies together on the couch. Shingen will spontaneously get up when the music starts to play from the musical that you are watching. He will grab your hand and pull you up, while positioning his hand around your waist. He will then turn your lounge into a makeshift dance floor for the whole duration of the song.
You guys love to do carpentry together. Often the two of you can be found in the garage making random things. You would make birdhouses and feeders, and Shingen would make furniture for your house.
The two of you also, connect to the Black ops server with all your friends to find out how everyone is. Shingen gets scolded for 20min over the game by Yuki for not answering the phone every time he calls. Scolds him, even more, when he hears Shingen munching on sweets. The two of you just laugh at the young man while continuing to stuff your faces with sugar
You can’t help but be worried about Shingen's health! You watch him closely and make sure he takes his vitamins and meds to keep his health up. 
Of course, Shingen will see you be a bit anxious and pepper your face with kisses. “The only medicine I need is the healing kiss of my goddess.”
He will then start to tickle you so that he can see that beautiful smile back on your face. He really loves that dazzling smile of yours.
The two of you can often be found curled up together on the bed while Shingen rubs soothing circles on your back, whispering reassuring words in your ears.
Sasuke
This friendly neighborhood ninja knew what was up long before the news broke, he had heard some rumors from his fellow professors at the university
He makes sure to have your shared apartment adequately stocked up of the event.
Sasuke bought the two of you matching black masks. To lighten the mood, the two of you put on the masks and any black clothes you could find and start playing ninja hide and seek.
Sasuke wins after you spent 20 minutes looking for him with no luck of finding him. He appeared out from the shadow of the curtains, snaked his arms around your waist, and pulled you to him while kissing peppering your hair, neck, and cheeks with small little kisses. You could help but giggle at your sweet, lovable ninja
The two of you spent most of your time playing board games, videogames and doing random science experiments for fun.
Cause Sasuke is a university professor busy with his Ph.D., he spends most of his time researching and writing. You loved spending time with him while he would sit on the bed, typing up his dissertation. You would cuddle up next to him and read. He would occasionally drop a small kiss on the top of your head as a silent thank you for supporting him and keeping him company.
You and Sasuke loved to you play videogames with your friends; it helps soothe both your anxiety to hear the sound of their voices over the speakers of your tv. Both of you couldn’t help but laugh at your caring friend scolding Shingen over the mic for everyone to hear
You and Sasuke loved to go outside at night, spread your softest fluffiest blanket on the grass and lie together while looking up at the night sky. You were shocked that the sight of the sky. You hadn’t seen such a clear night sky since being back in the past. You could see an ocean of bright beautiful stars. Sasuke told you it was due to the atmosphere not being as polluted as it usually is due to everyone being forced to stay at home. You couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia
Both of you could often be found cuddled up together under the night sky, savoring the bright new sky that the two of you had not seen in a long while.
Kennyo
When the news broke the two of you were shook, you did a bunch of research to see precisely what this virus is and how to minimize the risk of getting infected.
You guys would watch the news every morning to keep up to date with the happenings
Kennyo immediately called all his friends to make sure they were staying safe and well; he especially called Shingen to make his old friend was doing okay with his compromised immune system
Kennyo went on the food run cause he couldn’t bear the thought of having his beloved exposed to the risk of the outside world
He came back from the shopping run with both his arms full of stray cats.
This sofi boy couldn’t help but rescue the poor cats from the streets.
Both of you spend the afternoon building each cat its own little new bed while also naming each new members of your family. You guys spend hours together playing with the cats.
The two of you would make up hampers with blankets, masks, vitamins, and food. Kennyo will always be a soft monk at heart and can’t help but want to give back to his community. 
The two of you drive around for hours and deliver these hampers to the less fortunate.
Kennyo was sad that the church had been closed, especially being this close to Easter.
You discovered that many priests actually filmed their own YouTube videos online, which the two of you now watch together.
Even during the time of the virus, your spirits are still lifted, the two of you love celebrating Easter, so you have made it your personal mission to gather up all the art supplies in your house and make Easter decorations. The two of you even painted all the rocks in your garden to look like colorful Easter eggs.
Kennyo knows that you still have a bit of anxiety regarding the virus and the mass panic of the world. So, he will build a little blanket and pillow fort with you. Once the fort is built, he will pull you down to rest your head on his lap while he gently pulls his fingers through the long strands of your hair. The two of you spend hours in the little fort you built yourselves just chatting and enjoying each other’s company. Kennyo will occasionally bend down and surprise you with a kiss on the nose when he sees the small crease from between your eyebrows from your overthinking mind
I hope ya guys enjoy it! And are staying safe and well! don't forget to wash your hands and stay fit and healthy during this time!
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hwangdol · 5 years
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l.hc: stay with me
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summary: the confusing subject of lee haechan 
pairing: highschool!stoner-boi!haechan x reader 
warning: a shit ton of cursing, still got a lot of crackheadness, and DRUGS. no i’m not kidding, if you aren’t okay with that shit don’t read ahead. also! still part of my semi-collab with @huangsren! read her fic here: art-hoe!renjun  BEWARE OF GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES!!!!! 
it’s your favorite local stoner-boi!haechan’s turn
like norenmin, haechan’s name gets tossed around on the daily at NCT Highschool, except not with the same positive connotation
haehcan’s reputation isn’t the best but it could be worse
no it can’t
it’s actually really bad
everyone knows haechan to either be taking a gigantic nap in class or vaping in the bathroom. he gets into detention weekly bc the boy skips school like every other day 
the only reason why haechan hasn’t been expelled was bc he was the principal’s son 
don’t bring that up or he’ll actually cuss you out no cap
although he’s well-known, he’s only got like two friends + college-freshmen!mark lee (hA what a loser)
and one of them was currently in some type of situation with fboi!jaemin that haechan can’t be bothered to deal with –> y/n from fboi!jaemin’s au who will be further known as ara in this story
the other one was you, he liked to keep that one a little more private
it was never explicitly stated that you would maintain your sorta friendship a secret  
although could you really call it friendship if you’re doing all of the things people in relationships actually do? 
like haechan would always call you up in the middle of the night  to get boba or frozen yogurt for no reason
or sometimes yall would be cuddling in your bedroom watching some stupid movie on netflix,,,haechan would probably be throwing popcorn at the laptop screen bc of something stupid the main protagonist would do 
the other times, he would text a simple “pick me up” 
and you knew that that meant that haechan was too high or drunk to operate
there would be nights where you would be chilling in your car as haechan vaped 
you hated it 
but you could never hate lee donghyuck who now went by lee haechan 
yall met around the middle of sophomore year 
damn so much shit goes down sophomore year at NCT high
aNYways, you were stressed out from studying so you decided to take a stroll in the park at like ten at night. 
was that a stupid idea? yes, but at least that’s when you met haechan dressed in a navy green hoodie and a puff of smoke leaving his lips
sophomore!you was like highkey shookth seeing the lee donghyuck smoking in a park
bc at this time, lee donghyuck wasn’t lee haechan 
he was one of the school’s golden boys 
yeah that’s right norenmin used to be norenminhyuck or the 00′s 
he was the star of the school’s choir and the biggest class clown that still managed to get good grades
so imagine your shock when you see him with a cigarette in his hand
you figured that it was best to leave donghyuck alone since you weren’t the nosy type of person
except you weren’t that discreet in leaving when your eyes met donghyuck’s bright red ones 
you stood there for a second, both of you locked in what seemed to be staring contest, before turning to leave since it wasn’t any of your business what donghyuck was getting up to
the next day of school, donghyuck was back to his bubbly, fun self which seemed to be a drastic contrast from the one you saw at the park 
when your eyes interlocked in the hallways, donghyuck raised a finger to his lips when he was sure no one else was looking 
and you understood 
somehow you found yourself in this strange no-talking sit-downs in the park relationship with donghyuck while he smoked on the bench next to you 
this went down for a couple of weeks where the two of you would just sit in heavy silence. the only noises were the cicadas chirping in the background
until one night when donghyuck dressed in the same navy hoodie wasn’t smoking but his eyes were still red
“why haven’t you told anyone yet?” 
you shrugged “because it’s not my secret to tell” 
“you were shocked when you first saw me that night.” haechan commented 
“yeah, i just never expected it from someone like you,” you admitted
you could hear the boy next to let out a dry chuckle, “you’re not the first person i disappointed” 
“it ruins your lungs btw” 
“i know, i want it to” 
“why do you do it?” 
“because it actually makes me feel alive” 
something changed that night bc the next day donghyuck into a physical fight with the student-athlete!jeno who everyone knew was a pacifist. 
that night haechan showed up with a black eye and you didn’t ask why
donghyuck still gave you an explanation even though it was complete bs
“because he was getting on my nerves” 
but it seemed like the whole group of the golden boys was getting on his nerves bc donghyuck stopped hanging around them for the rest of the year
you saw him sometimes sitting outside on the bleachers during lunch, sleeping or smoking, not afraid to be caught 
you never had the courage to approach him in person at school, bc it seemed like your relationship was strictly limited to the park 
but you couldn’t help to be worried about him with the drastic change in character he was undergoing 
one day, he showed up to school with bright red hair and did nothing in all of his classes but take a nap 
sometimes he didn’t even show up to school 
you heard from someone that he quit choir which was shame bc you always wanted to hear him sing 
and sophomore year bled into junior year and donghyuck was no longer known as donghyuck but as haechan 
it was weird, every time you would get the urge to take a midnight stroll in the park, haechan would be sitting there on his usual bench sometimes smoking sometimes not
you always sat down next to him even if you knew that you were just going to sit there in silence
“give me your phone number,” he said bluntly holding out his hand for your phone 
“why” 
“i’m tired of waiting for you to come to the park” 
and you really confuse because does that mean that haechan wanted to be your friend??? 
as if he can read your mind, he rolls his eyes “yes, let’s be friends. you’re a lot better than those fakes in our goddamn school.” 
so that’s how your friendship began with the lee donghyuck, rebranded as haechan 
he doesn’t let anyone call him donghyuck but you,,, you still try your best not to call him that bc he doesn't like it 
gotta respect your friends’ wishes y’know
it wasn’t until haechan was over at like 2am in your room, both of you talking in small whispers bc you don’t want your parents to wake up and find you laying in bed with a BOI, that y'all reached the final level of closeness and haechan let slip one of the reason behind his reckless actions
“you know what sucks? even when i’m acting out like this, my parents still refuse to acknowledge me. it’s like they don’t care” 
and your like :((( 
“i’m pretty sure they care about you a lot,” you didn’t like the listlessly way he was talking 
“you don’t get it. when my dad saw my hair, all he told me to do was to dye it back. my mom didn’t even freak out when she saw me smoking a blunt with my friend in my room. they could care less” 
and haechan begins to spill
“even when i was achieving so much, they rarely ever bat an eye at me. do you know how hard it is to come to school and put on the facade of that i have no worries in the world? that i’m that cheery happy-go-lucky kid? even renjun is allowed to have moody days, but i’m expected to always be the mood maker. i fucking hate it.” 
you stayed silent listening to his rant 
“when jeno was complaining about how his parents invited his whole family to his stupid basketball game, i just got so angry because my parents haven’t been to one recital ever since i joined the choir. nor did they go to the science fair where i actually won first place with that stupid potato rocket i did with renjun.” 
haechan let’s out a bittersweet laugh 
“after that fight with jeno, no one asked if i was okay or why i even did it. none of them did. my dad didn’t even look at me in the eye when i went to his office, all he cared about was if the school’s basketball mvp was okay.” 
“god, i’m so numb to all of this shit. i don’t even know how to be happy anymore” 
that night you didn’t say anything to haechan bc you didn’t know what to say. but that night was the first and last night you ever saw haechan cry or that emotionally vulnerable bc the next day, he acted like it never happened 
by junior year, everyone already knew that the old donghyuck was gone and haechan was here to stay 
BUT your relationship with haechan wasn’t one-sided at all 
nooooo there were nights where you were the one crying and haechan was the one comforting you even though his advice was bs
you best bet that when haechan got his license, he dragged your ass to midnight drives to the cliff, but you would be the one to drive him home bc he probably vaped a little too much on the cliff 
despite breaking down that one night, haechan was very emotionally closed off. he didn’t smile as often as he used to in public unless it was with you
sometimes he would catch himself smiling when you said something really dumb or when he found your antics adorable, but he would never admit it and the smile would be quickly gone from his face.
your hangouts were so lowkey
one night, junior year, you were just chilling in your car with hyuck and he just leans over and kisses you. 
you could still smell the strawberry vape juice on him but you didn’t stop the kiss,,,cuz it felt nice
his lips felt like soft little cloud pillows 
and when haechan pulls away he has this little smirk on his face while you're flustered as fuck 
let’s be honest, that wouldn’t be the last time y'all locked lips 
cause it happened a lot 
especially in the car and sometimes in your room 
you can’t lie and say you don’t have any sort of feelings for haechan 
especially when you do see his real smile that he doesn’t let anyone see or when he made the effort to stop smoking cigarettes 
although you still highly disapprove of his drug usage
drugs are bad kids! 
haechan has his own reasons for continuing to use it so as much as you try to discourage him, you don’t stop him 
you’d like to say that you’re the only girl in his life, but your not
bc you were only hyuck’s friend at night,,,he has a day friend who was also a girl who he didn’t seem to care to be seen w at school 
a really pretty (AKA y/n from jaemin’s au) one who you also saw on multiple occasion haechan flashes his breathtaking smile too 
one of your friends had gossip that that girl was ara, who was dropped by her friend group bc she was dating haechan who had beef w jaemin who was dating ara’s ex-bestfriend? confusing, yeah i thought so too. 
you knew better than to listen to stupid highschool rumors but you couldn’t help but come to your own assumptions about the closeness of their friendship 
bECause haechan never mentioned ara in any of your conversations
at lunch, you can’t but let your eyes drift to the two of them in their own world laughing away 
you only met her once when mark was dropping haechan off at your house bc he much rather be at yours then his 
you were a little bit hurt since she got to know mark before you did 
you knew that mark was one of haechan’s closest friend and someone he really respected even though he liked to bag on him 24/7
as much as you tried not to, you found yourself repeatedly comparing yourself to her 
the subject of ara was left alone, forever stored in your insecurities
you didn’t want to confront haechan about it bc you didn’t want to admit it but you caught the big bad feels for the boy
so your feelings were left untouched until senior year
when the two of you were making out in your room and haechan suddenly pulls away with wide eyes 
and he lets out an “oh fuck” 
now, you were worried 
did you somehow do something wrong? 
“ara is going to fucking kill me,” haechan muttered grabbing his phone, calling someone up 
“hey gramps, can you pick ara up? i kinda left her at school,” haechan said through the phone to someone you presume to be mark
“okay, fine i’ll bring you weed brownies and hurry up before she gives me shit tomorrow. you know how high-maintenance she gets” and he hangs up the phone, throwing it aside 
“sorry about that,” haechan says going to resume what the two of you started but you stop him
cause it hurts too much and you don’t know what the hell you are to haechan
“i can’t do this anymore, hyuck” you say in a small voice, not daring to look him in the eyes bc u know damn well that he’ll see the tears in your eyes
“what do you mean?” you could hear the worry in the voice
“this,” you gesture between the two of you “i can’t anymore” 
and haechan knows what you’re talking about 
he’s been dreading the moment,,,he could sense the end 
which is the last thing he wants
“what’s wrong?” 
you bite your lip not wanting to start breaking down in front of the boy you grew to love so much 
your heart was hurting so bad,,,but you couldn’t continue on pining over a boy that would never love you the same way 
“what am i to you, hyuck?” 
one of the things that haechan hated the most was seeing you sad 
he hated how you saying his nickname in that teary voice made his heart drop 
“you’re my friend, y/n. actually, you're my bestfriend” 
you look him in the eyes this time, but haechan wished you didn’t 
“i’d never be more than that, right?” you smiled sadly at the boy
for once in his life, haechan is rendered completely speechless 
“i think you should leave” 
he knew that he should have put up a fight 
yet he couldn’t bring himself to 
there was this pang of hurt in his chest that he couldn’t quite explain 
so he left 
he wished he didn’t 
the minute he walked out the door he felt all of the happiness leave his body,, he knew that when he walked out the door, he would never be walking back 
when he got home in his room that night, he didn’t have it in him to pick up his usual blunt or his vape pen 
instead, he flopped onto his bed staring up at his ceiling 
there was wetness on his cheeks,,,his vision was blurry,,,and his heart hurt 
he almost contemplated skipping school the next day, but he didn’t want to spend his day wallowing in his despair that he didn’t even know why he felt 
his eyes were red as fuck so he tried to play if off as if he were high because who would question it?
so that’s why he went to school with a pair of sunglasses to hide his puffy, red eyes 
he was expecting everyone to leave him alone cuz he looked like he was faded but his shithead friend ara marched over to him and pulled him away leaving behind a very confused looking jaemin
that’s probably a story i’ll hear later. he thought.
“you fucking moron,” ara exclaimed at him punching him in the arm “this is like the eighteenth time you have gone to school fucking high! get a grip man!” 
“don’t lecture me as if you weren’t talking to the parasite,” haechan huffed, rubbing his arm from the pain
damn she packed a punch 
ara squinted and haechan realized he fucked up with his fake high act 
so the girl reached out and grabbed his sunglasses much to his protest and saw his puffy eyes
“hOLY sHIt, dude were you crying?” 
haechan snatched back his sunglasses and quickly put them back on, “fuck you” 
“sorry man, what happened?” 
“i don’t even know” 
“you want a pity hug?” 
“why the fuck not” 
the thing was haechan wasn’t touchy with other girls except for you, so the hug w ara was like a bro hug 
all that awkward patting and shit
stupid haechan failed to notice that you were standing at the end of the hallway, witnessing the whole scene 
now it was clear to you that you didn’t mean shit to haechan 
you were just a girl that could make him feel less lonely in secret, nothing more 
he had no trouble displaying his relationship w ara in public 
why did he make it seem like he wanted to keep you a secret? 
you were tired of it
spinning on your heel, heart-shattering into pieces, you walked away from lee haechan for the very last time 
basically now, it was simp hours 24/7 for the both of you
even college-freshmen! mark knew something was off with his highschool weed buddy 
“dude, what’s goin on with you lately?” 
the two of them were on their regular get-high cliff except mark was the only one doing the deed, haechan was just spaced out 
“i dunno” haechan shrugged 
mark made a face that was like “if you don’t tell me i’m beating the shit out of you” 
“okay fine, y/n doesn’t want me in her life anymore,” haechan spilled the beans on the whole situation between the two of you and mark is like “and i thought i was the fucking idiot” 
haechan is like wdym bruh? 
“are you dumb, bro? like are you out of touch with your feelings or sum shit?” 
“huh” 
“goddamn i have to do everything in this household, listen to me you little bitch boy, grow a pair and admit that you have feelings for her!” 
haechan’s face is like O.o 
“are you high right now, mark?” 
instant smack on the back of his head 
“no you dumb shit; just say that you like her and that ara is just a friend!” 
“what does this have to do ara?” 
mark is like BOI IF YOU DON’t
“obviously, you failed to mention that you managed to befriend a person who just happens to be a really pretty girl-” 
“dude, ara is fucking ugly. i’d date you before i’d ever date her” 
“stfu and listen bitch boy. anyways, y/n is probably highkey confused bc she probably thinks you’re interested in ara since you’ve been spending a shit ton of time w ara in the day time but you only come to y/n at night.” 
“i do that because i don’t want people to associate her with the things i do just because i’m friends with her. she’s doesn’t deserve to be roped into the same category as me” 
aNOTHer smack in the head 
“go clean up the mess you made and admit your feelings you fucking shithead.” 
“how?” 
“i dunno, ask her to prom or some shit” 
“i don’t want to go to prom” 
“DO SOME ROMEO AND JULIET SHIT IDFC JUST STOP BEING A DUMB PUSSY” enuff said 
so haechan gets dropped back at his house and he does some thinking about his so-called “feelings”
which is a fat surprise bc haechan is the living embodiment of impulsiveness,, he had only one brain cell to do his thinking
did he like you? idk man
he liked the way you smiled every time you told him something good about your day while the two of you cuddled. or when you would watch a funny clip on your phone and share it with him
he liked the way your hair smelled liked vanilla and was always so soft every time he ran his fingers through you hair
he liked the way you never turned him away even when he knew that you hated the way he was living his life. 
all of his other friends didn’t even make the effort to reach out to him when he was so obviously out of it. he felt unimportant with them
you were different
you made him feel happy, loved, and cared for
he no longer craved the attention of his parents or anyone in fact because he has you
or well he HAD you 
right now, all of the phone calls, text messages, and even snaps went straight to delivered, voicemail, or unopened
every time you’d see him in the halls, you would go the other direction
all of the times haechan tried to reach out to you, all of his attempts were deflected 
now how the fuck does one confessed when they’re being ignored???
“that sounds like a personal problem,” ara stated, stabbing her food angrily after haechan told her his predicament during lunch
na jaemin had just gone by their table and did someone bullshit that haechan could care less about, he stopped associating himself w him a long time ago
“no shit sherlock, help me bitch.” 
ara glared at him “you got yourself into this mess so fix it yourself” 
“i hope you fucking choke on an ice cube” 
“i’ll slit your throat in your sleep, lee haechan” 
wow everyone really out here expecting haechan to solve his own problems. how selfish of them.
which is probably why his plan of execution was shitty as fuccck
you, on the other side of the equation, was currently in the depths of your despair as all of your friends had managed to score dates to senior prom which was this weekend
you’re highly disappointed bc if it wasn’t for you being so preoccupied with the thought of haechan you’d probably have a date by now 
hell you even lied to haechan saying how you didn’t want to go to prom bc it was too extravagant for your taste when in actuality, you wanted to get dressed up, take pretty pictures, and dance awkwardly to a slow song 
the typical highschool prom experience
one thing that you didn’t want to admit was that the only boy you could picture as your date was donghyuck, the same boy that you wanted to get out of your thoughts and heart
the night of prom, you were stuck in your bed in a pair of sweats and some random oversized t-shirt scrolling through social media
to say you weren’t jealous of all the fun senior prom seemed to be was a giANT lie you could’ve just went alone!!!
honestly, even your parents were out having fun on a date night while you were being depresso espresso at home
you flopped in bed with a giant huff bc who was haechan to stop you from experiencing your highschool years! who was he to make you feel so bad that you couldn’t even go to prom! 
your phoned buzzed in your hand causing you to look down and nearly scowled at the message that was sent to you
hyuck: open up 
you ignored it, turning your attention back to that stupid rom-com you were watching on your laptop 
your phone continued to ding w messages you were sure were from haechan but you don’t want to open bc you knew that you would probably be launched into another wave of sadness and maybe even break-down cry in front of him so you turned your ringer off 
but out of nowhere, you hear this loud thud against your window 
wtf was that? alert mode on
then you hear a loud shout 
“BITCH ISTG IF YOU DON’T OPEN TF UP” 
you already knew who it was, so you contemplated on whether or not you wanted to actually confront him or run away from all of your problems (*coughs* ara *coughs* haechan)
 you didn’t get much time to think bc another thing was launched at your window
haechan’s shoe
walking over you opened ur window to see below haechan on your lawn with a giant cheeky smile on his face you knew for a fact it was genuine
he only smiled like that when the two of you were bent over laughing at something stupid he or you did
aww shit here comes the sad bugs again 
“what do you want?” you say loud enough for him to hear “go to prom with me!” haechan shouts up making you and your heart flustered af 
“prom already started, you idiot” 
“then let’s dance in your room” 
as much as you knew you should have turned him away, you couldn’t
you were so in love with haechan 
the minute you open the door you were engulfed into his chest
you froze up not knowing how to react 
“don’t let me go please,” haechan says barely louder than a whisper
goDAmmit haechan’s making me tear the fuck up
“you’re the only one in my life that hasn’t left me. the only one that was willing to understand me. i know that i’m not the best guy out there, i know that i’m nothing great, but when you look at me with that stupid smile of yours i feel so god damn on top of the world.”  
he hugs you tighter “please, please, y/n don’t leave me. i need you in my life.” 
something wet drops on your shoulder but you don’t dare to look up at haechan’s teary eyes 
closing your eyes you fall into his chest, his familiar scent triggering tears of your own 
“i love you” he pulls away from you to look at your face for a response, your eyes meeting his shaking brown orbs 
you have to raise your head slightly up to look at him while he was looking down at you
his hair was a mess of a light pastel rainbow (we go up broski) 
that’s when you notice how red his eyes were but there was no stench of weed or alcohol on him 
lee haechan was completely sober 
“i’ve always been yours, lee donghyuck”  
lee haechan wasn’t like other guys. he was lee donghyuck. he was complex and it would take you years to completely unravel him. even when you knew him for so long, you still had no idea was going through his mind. there were times where you found yourself stumped on the subject of haechan, but it was okay 
because you were willing to take the time to understand. 
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themanicgalaxy · 3 years
Text
SPN 4X19 Jump the Shark
Oh hey is this the illegitimate brother plotline
boy I love me some sweet sweet ANGST
whelp she's fucking dead
picture of JOHN?
Sam's peacefully brushing his teeth and Dean's Not a Morning Person
boy he's having a bad morning
to be fair, living out of the car is kinda not fun either
"I'm his son" Dean: I'm gonna fUCKING KIL-
he's..premed?
they're going to ruin his life too aren't they, Aren't The-
Dean is taking this really well
I mean he did get the brunt of John's Issues, so I get it, yike
ASDFPIHP them discussing their dad's ~sex life~ is very funny though
Dean was...preteen? when this kid was born? Sam was under ten definitely
Dean Please
No that's your Actual Brother guys PLEASE
hunting accident "ah fair enough"
"who is a nuclear family these days" FEELS SO LOADED
Dean...Dean please don't fUCKING KILL HIM DEAN
THE IMPALA NOOO
"he took you to a baseball game" IDSFHAPF
He's Trying not to CRY OH MY GOD NO WAIT
Sam resonates with the away from college thing oh NO
Dean is trying SO HARD not to snap
at least he's...trying..to keep adam out
corpse snatching => HEY LOOK IT's THE BONE STEALING WIT-
I think I need to stop being online jesus christ
the [both sigh] was so good
well...that's a lot of blood
How the hell do you break it to your illegitimate brother that you're ~technically Wanted by the FBI
at least he's not an idiot
HE'S SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN THEY ARE
I mean obligatory dead mom
"do i get a say in this?" "NO!"
no..no SAM DEAN HAS A POINT
Middle sibling + younger sibling gang up on elder
"have u thought about eternity" "bro i've literally been to hell Idk what to tell u"
Dean doing it solo but Sad is...:(
Oh he worked the old case, that's neat
"so it's over for you" welllllll
OO THE TRUCK SHOT WAS COOL
dean + long dark coat truthing tonight HE LOOKS G O O D
it wants revenge
YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR REVENGE BELA WAS R I G H T
and Adam Instantly wants revenge, you sir are definitely a Winchester
"it's life" WELL IT SHOULDn'T BE
the stupid isolationism I hate it
NO GO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE KRIPKE WHY
Sam's becoming his dad, and Dean isn't
...SAM WHAT THE FUCK
DAD MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT DO RIGHT BY YOU
HIS GODDAMN GRIEF SPIRAL GOT BOTH OF YOU
LET HIM BE NORMAL! HAPPY! IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW(NOT ALWAYS)(Also very close to the thing with zachariah in placement(eye emojis) BUT LEAVE HIM ALONE!
I do appreciate Dean Eldest Sibling'ed it up even if he didn't like the kid/was jealous. Goddammit I wish we got connection in this stupid show
I was expecting a jump scare but somehow the squish is worse
sOn oF aBitcH
Ah FUCK NOT ADAM TOO
I do like the little angel Icon though, that's what's Dean's way out
Ghouls is a racist term?what????
no john winchester was 100% a monster
ah it was their father
yada yada father killing circle idk
YAY! DEAN'S INGENUITY IS BACK!
Ghoul!mom is really really good. I liked Scared Adam better though
the slicing sam scene is BRUTAL jesus christ
So...John got his own son killed in the end...
SERIOUSLY HE WAS TERRIBLE
Dean JESUS CHRIST
awww caring Dean is nice
AWW HUNTER'S FUNERAL
"Adam's in a better place" :(
Dean tried to fit himself into the Dad box, Sam's actually him
"you take it any way you want" oh for FUC- HE- I-
he looked so Sad, so like...he's stopped idolizing him
jesus christ.
boy there's gonna be overlap ok here we go.
1. poor dean. Ok couple things: 1) he elder sibling'ed it SO HARd! he didn't even like Adam, but he still tried to keep him safe(I think). he gave him a hunter's funeral! I just. It was nice to see. It was also INCREDIBLY painful to hear the realization of "you were always like dad, I never could be" and the fact that he didn't even see it as a good thing anymore? fUCK man, that huRT me. Dean tried so hard to be something he wasn't, he got probably the brunt of the abuse(because he didn't measure up to that metric like Sam always would), and in the end all it got him was...just. so much pain. Like it felt like John left his Broken children behind to get a new one, and just turned them into his quest for revenge. It was SO So fucked
Hey actually speaking of
2. AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE BEING A HUNTER/JOHN? WHAT HTE FUCK?
YALL ALREADY MARTYRED HIM BUT UR MAKING HIM WORSE?
LIKE ok listen. John's kinda set up as the ideal of hunting. They martyred him! And I was halfway sold provided they didn't mention him again. Then! he did this thing where he abandoned his kids, seeing them only as tools to fulfill his quest for revenge, literally broke them(that too late thing+zachariah saying "it's in your blood" when really it was just trained from a young age), got a NEW family he treated a lot better. I just. I have...NO idea how I'm supposed to see him as a good guy here. Maybe I just kin Dean, or his plight is WAY more sympathetic(it is, Sam is kinda pissing me off), but John's just...coming off worse and worse and they KEEP doing it!
Also! this whole cycle of revenge thing! about how if you keep taking an eye for an eye, everyone ends up blind! they barely escaped this time, and I think this was the second revenge plot that I can think of with MONSTERS alone! it was a BIG theme! Like!! hunting sucks! revenge makes you end up in worse places! it's like this one episode was made to show how SHIT hunting was!
wait who wrote this
Dabb+lofflin. The hunting sucks always comes from-
this GODDAMN INCONSISTE-
3. Fuck John Winchester
4. Individualism. Ok this is a big one. Alongside the whole revenge plot thing(which is BIG, and a hunting sucks), this one drove home the sheer individuality of hunting. But while some of the writers see that as Badass, this one made it seem lonely, and painful. Like the flip side to American Individualism is American Chronic Loneliness. I know this one was used to process the ennui of the post recession/post 9/11 time, and it's doing very well for that, but it kinda ends up like this show is EVERYONE'S therapy all at once! the gang's all here! and we're gonna traumatize you in the process as well.
EDIT: and yeah yeah yada yada american individualism is King and then so is it’s accompanying loneliness in the post 9/11 post war in iraq post recession world(we were not having fun in 08/09)
and I get that this show is the writer’s therapy and whatever
(I just thing this is phrased better)
5. bring him back. Connect! Look. I know it breaks the core ethos of this episode. But having Weird Esoteric Hunter siblings would have been SO FUNNY!
give me more sibling content! Sam+Adam teaming up against the Eldest Sibling Dean WAS SO FUNNY! I WANT MORE OF THAT
6. SAM WHAT THE FU-. Look. I hate John. I very much hate John. They set up the Sam/Dean dichotomy in regards to John first episode, and Sam acting more like an ass+like his dad is. Not making me like him. Also I feel like this was written to sympathize with Dean. Which makes the finale even more ironic, I feel.
7. Listen. Listen. One of you has to keep track of continuity. Like I know this becomes a WAY bigger problem later in the series, but if a certain writer wants to process/examine a certain part of the Life/Story(and they should, they set up a lot of interesting stuff), they have to keep track! Because then the show becomes everything all at once.
Like this show has ALREADY started feeling like fanfic of itself, where it just kinda does whatever it wants with its own concepts. And the concepts are GREAT! but you can TELL how inconsistent it is, even in the kripke era
like it ends up being Study of X, Riff on X! and I think that's where the inconsistency comes from. It's also why it's so fucking Excellent in places.
whelp this was a lot holy hell.
OH AND ONE MORE THING!
Bela didn't fit the narrative. That's why they didn't like her. I said at the beginning that an Int'l art thief does NOT fit the vibe of "grungy Angsty American Midwestern gothic" and I was right. With the lucifer story and the vibe she didn't fit, and so they just killed her as foreshadowing, and only used her like that. God I wish they'd riffed on her, especially because her callouts were all completely correct
we're Bela Salting again
listen she was preppy Jack Sparrow with some spiritualism, how dare you tell me not to like her.
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kangtaebins · 3 years
Text
Weird Asks That Say A Lot
I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am
1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says
2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops
3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy
4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-
5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws
6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel
7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds
8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person
9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why
10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much
11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,, 
12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist
13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring 
14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!
15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh
16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl
17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3
18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold
19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)
20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything
21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters
22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation
23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it
24. Favorite crystal? Citrine 
25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf
26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning
27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat
28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande
29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard
30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture
31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable
32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble
33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"
34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC
35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am
36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth
37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase
38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!
39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake
40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭
41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))
42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets
43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%
44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell
45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy
46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-
47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!
48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why
49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy
50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible
51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe
52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans
53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished
54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious
55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?
56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun
57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with
58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue
59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches
60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk
61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."
62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked
63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh
64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO
65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀
66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔
67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet
68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-
69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely
70. Left or right handed? Right
71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag
72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-
73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes
74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it
75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten
76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes
77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents
78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station
79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure
80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones
81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more
82. PC or console? PC
83. Writing or drawing? Both
84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely
84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie
85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales
86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s
87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love
88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother
89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family
90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀
91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-
92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!
93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀
94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures
95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨
96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu
97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5
98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))
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mikkock · 4 years
Note
Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*
haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!
Tumblr media
all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥
For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!
The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 
BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)
So BASIC PLOT!
Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 
.
So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.
(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)
.
Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)
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(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)
Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  
Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)
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He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.
Mr.LIM (the green guest)
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Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?
Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)
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Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.
Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)
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Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...
Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)
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Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 
Dr.FEN (the pink guest)
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Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 
Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)
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Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...
Mr.GANG (the orange guest)
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Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.
M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)
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Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?
Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)
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Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).
~~~~
Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.
Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 
whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.
also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.
Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)
#doodlin every lad's face at one rly be like 'welcome to the cheekbone festival'#they got antti AND said at once like the cheekbonage is out of this world!#that's musta n gang btw#also every single time i draw cream (blue lad) im like 'i havent drawn u in ages' n it isnt#that i dont draw him much anymore#but that ive drawn only this bitch for months back in the days#him bein in this without his lover....criminal#cuz his boo wouldnt fit a murder mystery au like#hoes would find the corpse he'd just be like 'welp on that imma go to bed aight bye'#anyway u can tell which of my ocs i simp for v easely#like fr#they the ones i spend the longest drawfigfdj cuz i draw em n then go 'not hot enough do it again'#a struggle!#anyway the secret is that i prepares a motive AND an alibi for all of em#so that i can pick who murdered belyy at the last moment <3#its all abt the contextual clues on the scene of crime <3#none of the drama tells u anything its all for the treat of gossip <3#sad part of this project is how much ive planned n written yet i can barely tell anythin if i want to make it#n ive drawn nothingbhd#i hav a dari n a weiwei in their coloured clothes lookin handsome cuz ofc i do#im predictable i have faves#ask if they're in love in this one too take a fuckin guess#u rly think hoe going to his boss's house so much to see the ceo ???? HAH#the real question isnt if theyre smooshin we all kno that answer the question is if dad white suit knows thATs whats important#are yall secret lovers or is green boy climbing the ladder of the company cuz he's smashing the boss's son#who knows#i do i aint telling pay me
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hypercam2 · 4 years
Text
so @buffyannes​ and @saltierthanpearl​ sent me replies to the ask meme, one of them being two questions and the other being everything on the list :O so now that i’ve gotten a chance to sit down and think about it, here goes!
1. song of the year? pin by hippo campus really stuck with me. love those boys
2. album of the year? hit the dirt by mega mango! there’s no reason they haven’t blown tf up yet
3. favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? sure sure, for sure B^) their last album was great and i’m getting tix to their show for christmas, which will be a lot of fun
4. movie of the year? detective pikachu was super wholesome! i also don’t remember anything else i saw lmaoooo
(continues under the break)
5. TV show of the year? yall know i don’t keep up with this nonsense
6. episode of TV or webisode that defined the year for you? the steven universe finale was pretty special. the song “change your mind” fuckin did things to me man
7. favorite actor of the year? i don’t know who’s cool anymore so i’m gonna cop out and say me!!!!! bc i decided to audition for a show for the first time in three years??? and somehow got in??? so yeah catch me at the local theatre yall it’ll be lit
8. game of the year? since i’m trying to pick things that were released this year i guess my choice would be smash ultimate by default, even though i wouldn’t say it defines my taste overall? i never buy games at release tbh, hype is less important than how well they withstand the test of time.
9. best month for you this year? april was a good month, though the beginning of the end, in a way.
10. something that made you cry this year? well officially, truly, no holds barred Coming Out was uhhhhhhh hard
11. something you want to do again next year? alternative spring break! spending a week volunteering was a transformative experience. i wrote pages and pages in my journal about it.
12. talk about a new friend you made this year i’m gonna talk about all of the new friends i’ve made in my office! they welcomed me into conversations from the start and lucky for them, i fit in instantly. (i like to say they should be glad they aren’t stuck with a front desk worker who doesn’t have stage 50 internet brain poisoning 😂) i love how we all Get each other’s sense of humor, but know when to self-regulate or take others’ needs seriously. we all kind of have our own niche interests but you never get a funny look for bringing Your Shit up. i’m very lucky to have just walked right into somewhere i feel meant to be (especially compared to SG lmfaooo, they’re full of jerks)
13. how was your birthday this year? well it was in the middle of exams week and then i got a KIDNEY INFECTION like a couple days after!!!! so cool i guess cuz i turned 21 but otherwise kind of a tragedy?
14. favorite book you read this year? i don’t know how to read
15. what’s a bad habit you picked up this year? ugh just.... procrastination on life in general turned up to 100 😖 hard to be in tune with things if they’re entirely uninteresting and the Same Old Thing ad nauseum
16 and 17: pictures from the beginning and end of year i take a pic on my laptop’s webcam whenever i change my hair (i don’t know why i do this?) so i can actually answer this one from my computer!
beginning:
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end:
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18: a memorable meal this year? literally any time i go to florida and eat old bay shrimp and conch fritters at the local seafood bar.... like ugh sis went OFF
19. what are you excited about for next year? being in a musical! and stage directing the kids’ show again!!
20. what’s something you learned this year? i’d say i’m still working on it, but not being unhappy for the sake of others’ comfort. working past the anxiousness of telling the truth when it’s hard, or speaking up about things i need or want. ya know. that kind of thing. it’s tough.
21. what’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? we started the year with 3 cats and temporarily, we’re gonna end it with 6 😨 (our neighbor is most likely going to adopt her, but she’ll be in our house for a while.)
22. favorite place you visited this year? a small town in indiana, for spring break. even the drive back was memorable. it was this weird shift in perspective, going down the main roads and seeing slices of how things once were interspersed with how they are now. you’ll see a tiny, decrepit farm house sandwiched between a state of the art mcdonald’s and a tiny, decrepit auto shop. i used to give the cities i spend the most time in some kind of special merit, but it turns out that uniquely tired and midwest feeling doesn’t really start or stop at a certain place after all.
23. if you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? the first half of the year will be great! the second will be terrible! that is, until you take some steps that are long overdue - which you will take, because this year is all about change. you’ll get a really good therapist and she’ll tell you “don't expect life to ever be comfortable.” ironically enough, it’ll be comforting, as you now know what to expect.
24. did you keep any new year’s resolutions? one of them was “become a better communicator” which is a work in progress. another was “get a second tattoo” and that did happen 100% ;^)
25. did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? describe one. ohhhh i did! one of them i never got to use because let’s face it, i don’t have it in me to write the story i want to write in the middle of exam crunch time. he would have been a little kid, still nameless, who essentially would look like a tiny paperboy (think a double breasted coat, nice hat...) my main character would encounter him randomly irl, thinking that he looked familiar but never doing anything about it. that’s because the boy would show up in the MC’s dreams and communicate... fateful events. perhaps i’ll turn it into something real one day. ;)
wow i spent a lot of time on this 😅 it was a good run tho! very reflective. thanks!
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sawyersick · 5 years
Note
1 through 69 because you gotta twin with me
OMG ASDFGHJKL
aight here goes bitchez
1. are you religious?
nahh but my parents sent me to church camp when I was in elementary school??? For the cheap childcare I guess???
2. what animal do you think you’re most like?
I haven’t thought about this much but I think a field mouse!!
3. how do you take your coffee?
never……………………… I hate coffee
4. how old were you when you had your first kiss?
my mom’s bosses son forced himself on me when we were 6 lol so I don’t count that……….. so 15 i guess (according to my friend, if there’s no hormones it doesn’t count lol)
5. museum date or aquarium date?
AQUARIUM AQUARIUM AQUARIUM
6. do you have any tattoos or piercings? do you want more?
Just my ears are pierced and I have a whale (badly) tattooed on my hip I’ll post pix if you want but its pretty uggo
I want another whale on the other side so I’ll be symmetrical and a triangle hand tat….. maybe an eyeball tat (a tattoo of an eyeball…. not one on my eye lol)? I’m not really interested in anymore piercings tho
7. favorite fruits?
strawberries!!!
8. favorite vegetables?
when I was 12 I ate so many carrots my skin turned orange and my mom thought I had jaundice
also I heckin love mushrooms
9. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)
I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect :(
10. do you cry a lot?
yeah lol at least twice a month minimum
11. who are your closest friends?
I don’t really have any? I’ve felt distant from my irl friends lately so idk probably just demo
12. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?
I did the walk out for gun violence
13. do you play any video games?
helllllls yeah but I usually only play 3/ds
14. did you ever have an emo or scene phase?
yes and I think I’m still in it rip
15. what color is most of your wardrobe?
I think I wear a lot of blue! and black and white too i guess…… I’m trying to add more reds tho
16. what do you like to do for fun?
I bake and sew and draw! and listen to music
17. what is your biggest fear?
body horror tw for this one rip
being abandoned, being forced to do horrifically gross/unclean stuff, getting my eyes gouged out, getting the bones in my hands broken, getting acid poured on my face, the people around me dying, being forced to eat live slugs, getting my skin peeled off with a knife
18. name a subject you know a lot about.
whales/the ocean in general and baking!! and the band Liily
19. favorite fictional characters?
hm idk? Link and Zelda from LoZ, Clover and Snake and Aoi from 999, rhyme from TWEWY, Maka and Soul from Soul Eater, Storm from the Xmen, Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Chun Li, the Kagamines, Rilakkuma
idk I just thought about characters I have merch for
20. do you read a lot? what are your favorite books?
I used to??? Haven’t had the time for it in a while though and I’ve been reading a lot of how-to books as of late….. I really liked the Legend trilogy though
21. how would you describe your style?
art style and fashion style would both be classified as “cute but tries to be edgy” I think
22. did you have a favorite stuffed animal when you were little? do you still own it?
Yes!! a pastel elephant with a rattle in it named Elephant (very creative I know) He’s in my stuff somewhere now and this question reminded me to go find him again
23. what’s something most people love that you hate?
hmmm…. sports? mustard? airpods???? idk
24. do you think you’re a good singer?
actually yes? I wanna be in a band but I’m lowkey afraid of singing in front of people I know but have no problem doing it in front of an audience of strangers hmu if you’re in the SF bay area I’ve written 6 punk songs
25. who do you live with?
my parents and cat
26. favorite desserts?
ice cream, anything with chocolate or whipped cream, creme brulee, lemon tarts
I’m not too picky though lol
27. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?
realizing that I can actually do mostly whatever I want and most things have fewer consequences than I think
also cutting people out of my life that emotionally exhaust me
28. favorite makeup brands?
uhhhh whatever’s cheap and doesn’t make my eyes burn ig urban decay is good when I can afford it
29. favorite clothing stores/brands?
Goodwill??? I used to shop at f21 but I try not to anymore
30. what was your first job?
working at a lake teaching windsurfing and sailing and I still work there
31. do you take a lot of naps?
n o  I absolutely  h a t e  taking naps and try to avoid them
32. what is your favorite part about your body?
hmm I have pretty good hair i think and sometimes my eyes? I have huge (genetic) eyebags tho which gets me down
33. are you more dominant or more submissive?
In day to day life I guess I’m more dominant??? like I make decisions when nobody else wants to :0 also idk intimately since iM aN aDuLt vIrGiN and pretty sex repulsed but probably sub 
34. are you more outgoing or more shy?
outgoing but sometimes it makes me annoying
35. how tall are you?
short…………………………. 4′8/143 cm
36. what is your body type?
uhh hourglass????? maybe pear I got them Thunder Thighs according to the guy who got kicked out of drama club for peeping in the girls changing room
37. favorite flower?
calendula, sunflowers, lavender and dianthus!!
38. favorite planet?
Neptune??????????????????
39. what do you want to dress up as for halloween this year?
I wanna be the bride of frankentstein but in a shiro lolita coordinate to make her look ~fancy~ or the Nancy part of Sid and Nancy if I’m in a relationship by that time
40. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?
Ideally the same age and I’m wary of dating anyone more than 2 years younger or older than me but I’m more willing to date older than younger
41. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.
yall know who it is already but
in a band, dark hair, kinda tall, very fashionable, coincidentally happens to be the same racial mix as me, good at art, very humble, really sweet, lives in SoCal, has a hand tattoo of milk and “aye yah” on his arm, paints his nails orange, wears a lot of rings, gets freckles in the summer, prefers vanilla over chocolate, ties his shoes the cool way
42. who is your biggest inspiration?
idk at the moment? I like to draw from many inspirations
43. do you have any kinks?
???????????????????????????????????
44. do you own any pets?
one (1) very loving cat
45. which celebrity do people say you look the most like?
……………………….. myself
I literally had to google mixed race celebrities and STILL none look like me lol
46. do you like sports?
not really except I weirdly like baseball
47. have you ever seen a broadway musical?
Yes!! I won tickets to On Your Feet and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
I also won Hamilton tickets but saw it in SF yall should download the app
48. what is your favorite kind of food?
noodles!!
49. would you rather be a fairy or a mermaid?
MERMAID actually I have a mermaid tail too so
50. what is your instagram?
@wishwhale :)
51. glossy lips or matte lips?
glossy by default because I have chronically dry skin/lips so matte lips are sooooooooooooooo uncomfy but it looks good on other people lol
52. do you like cherry, grape, blue raspberry, watermelon, or green apple jolly ranchers the best?
grape because im weird
53. what are your best personality traits?
I’d like to think that I’m kind and sometimes funny
54. what is your ethnicity?
asian/white
55. what different hair colors have you had?
brown and brown with pink that was supposed to be purple
56. favorite disney princess?
Ariel! bc mermaid
57. favorite album of 2017?
Humanz by Gorillaz  or Deep Dream by Daddy Issues I guess
I was weirdly obsessed with Feel Your Feelings Fool when it came out but I’m not really into it anymore though
58. have you ever had braces?
nah
59. favorite holiday?
Halloween! Because dressing up is fun
60. post a selfie.
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how do I make this smaller anyways I don’t normally wear this much makeup but I’m going to a small show tonight
61. are you a good swimmer?
Yes!! I swim once a week at my local pool
62. do you wear jewelry?
I used to wear a lot………. like multiple necklaces and bracelets and rings daily but now I wear my ring every day and a necklace/earrings if I remember
63. can you play any instruments?
I’m learning guitar!!
64. do you have any siblings?
short answer is no but you can dm me for the long answer
65. are your grandparents still alive? how old are they?
just my maternal grandmother and she is almost 90! My paternal grandmother lived to 102 so I’m hoping for those good genes though (I think she would have lived longer because my family suspects elder abuse by my weird aunt)
66. who knows the most about you?
hmm probably Demo or Emily
67. are you a more quiet person or do you talk a lot?
I! Never! Shut! Up!
68. what advice would you give to your 13 year old self?
shut the fuck up you stupid bitch you arent cool
69. how many pillows do you sleep on?
two
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atinyidea · 5 years
Text
Magic Is In The Heart | Ravenclaw Hongjoong | 2
→ ml!
→ note! in this fic, Hongjoong’s reader (Sunshine) is a male
→ 223 bullet points!
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→ Half-Blood.
→ Sixth Year.
→ Prefect.
→ Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain.
→ Best Class: Transfiguration
→ Worst Class: Arithmancy
→ Favourite Class: Defence Against The Dark Arts
→ Least Favourite Class: Arithmancy
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he classifies himself as a half-blood even though three-quarter blood is more accurate
“just doesn’t sound nice”
he would say
his mother came from a long line of pureblood wizards
while his father was a half-blood wizard born to a wizard and a muggle
it’s all very complicated
so Hongjoong simply says “half-blood” affectionately
his father was in Ravenclaw
his mothers family seem to mainly be in Gryffindor
although his mother was in Hufflepuff
his family didn’t particularly care which house he was placed in
but they were proud of him nonetheless
he is an only child
only has one cousin
he’s seven years younger than him though
Hongjoong was sad
finding out that he’d only be coming to Hogwarts
just as Hongjoong was leaving
he made it a point to ask one of his younger friends to keep an eye out for him when he came up
natural leader
became a prefect in the fifth year
so it was natural for him to become Ravenclaw’s Quidditch Captain in his sixth year
first year
one thing to note about his parents was that they were quite strict 
and because they lived in a muggle town
they were accustomed to muggle technology
like phones and game stations and televisions
but
Hongjoong wasn’t allowed a smartphone
or a phone in general
until he was an official teenager
(he got an iPhone for his thirteenth birthday)
so as an eleven-year-old
not knowing anyone because all his friends seemed to be younger than him
he took a Nintendo DS on the train with him
because he could get bored easily
sadly for him
his father had pulled a small prank on him and switched out the DS card that held at least ten different games on it
for a card
with one game on it
called 
‘Lateral Puzzles’
more than half of which
Hongjoong had already completed
so that was something to look forward to
when he found a compartment
there was a boy in there already
dressed in colourless robes already
it was safe to assume the boy was a first year like him
sure enough
the two of them became friends
after the boy introduced himself as Seonghwa
Seonghwa had taken an interest in Hongjoong’s DS the second he took it out
asking all sorts of questions
which Hongjoong was more than happy to answer
the two of them talked for a long time 
before Hongjoong decided he’d taught Seonghwa enough about the DS
for him to play with it while he changed into his robes
when he returned
the discussion of houses
Hongjoong, coming from a family so diverse in their Hogwarts houses, didn’t have a house in mind
and the two of them bonded over the fact they really couldn’t care less
sticking together, talking the whole way
shared a boat with two new people, ‘Mimi’ and ‘Jisoo’
who he instantly got on well with
sat there grinning
talking quietly with Jisoo
watching Seonghwa and Mimi bicker all the way to the great hall
before they had to split up
since Seonghwa had to move away
Hongjoong grabbed him
“we’ll stay friends no matter our house, yeah?”
he was strangely protective over his new found friendship
was a bit nervous
shy lil bub
“of course”
Hongjoon’s heart: uwu
the sorting hat put him in Ravenclaw
because the sorting hat saw his potential in creative thinking and with the guide of Ravenclaw house he would be able to bounce off other creative minds to think better
because he was already friendly and hardworking and daring and ambitious
and he would grow and flourish better in Ravenclaw
Hongjoon didn’t mind though, already planning out his letter back home to his father
he made friends easily on the table and with his roommates
but stuck with Seonghwa like they promised
(as well as Mimi and Jisoo)
classes
was good at flying lessons straight away
having flown before with his parents and cousin
very good at quidditch
but due to the rule
was only allowed to try out for quidditch during the second year
became captain in his sixth year
Hongjoong is good at the core subjects
he always gets good grades
especially excels in Transfiguration
enjoys Defence Against the Dark Arts the most
Professor McGonagall is his favourite teacher
don’t tell Madam Hooch
actually struggled with potions in the beginning
but Seonghwa helped him a lot during first year
Hongjoong is very grateful
when it came to picking the additional subjects
with his Ravenclaw Cap™️ on 
he decided he was going to pick four of the five options
Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Ancient Runes and
...
Arithmancy
bad decision there Hongjoong
he 
hates
Arithmancy
a set of confusing number systems, different to any of the number systems e grew up with
(he still has no idea how there could be different number systems,,,, they're all the name numbers!!!)
he gets through it on his proficiency in Divination
Arithmancy is still his worst subject
Professor Vector is cool though
third and fourth year
second year? uneventful
third year? moderately eventful
Hongjoong made new friends with the boys who crashed into their train compartment
(Wooyoung, San and Yunho)
(They pulled a prank on Jungho and his friend)
(Jongho’s friend lovingly dubbed ‘Sunshine’ by San as childhood nickname)
San grinned
“Do you mind if we stay here? We decided to prank my brother but we forgot his friend, Sunshine, was in there too and now we’re running form two very angry firstys”
Hongjoong shook his head in disbelief
a smile on his lips
but let them stay anyway
back in the Ravenclaw tower
Hongjoong finally met Yeosang
Hongjoong hadn’t spent much time in Ravenclaw tower during his second year
meaning there weren’t many chances for him to meet anyone new
but he and his friends (the new ones too) had stayed in the great hall longer than they normally would
so he was heading to the common room a little later than everyone else
which he didn’t mind
meant it was quiet for once
Hongjoong didn’t think anyone would be down in the common room
seeing as it was almost midnight now
(too much fun in the great hall + the east courtyard = almost midnight)
but lo and behold
Yeosang!!
sat in one of the comfy chairs
near the bookshelf alcove
Hongjoong, being Hongjoong
tripped over a book on the floor
making noise
bringing attention to himself as well as scaring the living daylights out of Yeosang
Yeosang let out an actual shriek
so did Hongjoong
“sorry! I was trying to be quiet”
“looks like it.”
Hongjoong only grinned
he got up and made his way over to Yeosang, sitting on a chair opposite him
“I’m Hongjoong”
“Yeosang”
“What are you reading?”
they spent a good hour talking about the book
heading down the spiral staircase in the middle of the common room towards their dorms
making a deal to sit together at breakfast the next morning
new friend: achieved
of course.
this confused their friends the next morning
but they did sit with each other!
at the Ravenclaw table!
Hongjoong and his friends usually congregated at the Slytherin table, since the majority of them were in Slytherin
(And Yeosang usually sat with his Hufflepuff friend Mingi)
but that morning they sat together
talking about books
and classes
then the topic of friends came up
and Hongjoong invited Yeosang to sit with him and his group from then on
“you can sit with us, you know, from now on. we’re friends now”
“can I bring a couple of friends?”
“yeah! you can never have too many friends”
so yeah third year! big friend group!
in fourth year however
Hongjoong officially met Jongjo’s best friend
(and Jongho started sitting with them properly)
Sunshine was, well,
very fiery
funny
and also very cute
in comparison to Jongho
Sunshine was tall
he was taller than Hongjoong too
like Yunho tall
did he mention cute?
Hongjoong doesn’t recall when his crush on Sunshine was a thing
but he spent his fourth year trying to get everyone in their new group to stop trying to kill each other
and only really admired from afar
Seonghwa: just talk to him
Hongjoong: yall hear summ?
fifth year
was made male Ravenclaw Prefect
super proud beb
his father teared up when the letter came
shined the badge every night coming up to the new term
Hongjoong: Dad? TF?
Hongjoong’d Mum: S t o p
amazing family
never a dull moment
tried not to looked shocked when Seonghwa boarded the train with a prefects badge
it’s okay Joong
Seonghwa was shocked too
made friends with the female Slytherin Prefect too
“Pepy”
she’s cool
doesn’t stand for Wooyoung’s, or San’s, shit
mad respect
shares grins with her when they witness Seonghwa and Mimi try to talk without blushing
the teasing between Hongjoong and Seonghwa can get annoying
Pepy usually just leaves when they go at it
Seonghwa: Sunshine!
Hongjoong: Mimi!!
He finally works up the courage to actually talk to Sunshine in fifth year
awkward lil beb is still awkward though
O.W.L.s
Charms: [O]utstanding
Transfiguration: [O]utstanding
Herbology: [O]utstanding
Defence Against the Dark Arts: [O]utstanding
Potions: [E]xceeds [E]xpectations
Care Of Magical Creatures: [E]xceeds [E]xpectations
Astronomy: [A]cceptable
Divination: [O]utstanding
Ancient Runes: [O]utstanding
Arithmancy: [P]oor
poor Joong cried when he saw the Poor
still doesn’t know if they were sad tears or tears of relief because he no longer was obligated to take Arithmancy
sixth year (current)
in sixth year he elected to take Alchemy
with Seonghwa and Mimi
and Pepy!
and Sunshine made it a thing™️ to support Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin during their quidditch match
cocky Hongjoong after Ravenclaw wins the match
“are you my lucky charm?” 
it’s going to be interesting
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personagf-moved · 5 years
Text
alphabet & soft questions ✨
I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf
i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘
honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily
Alphabet ask:
a // age: 21
b // birthplace: new jersey!
c // current time: 1:17 am
d // drink you had last: coffee
e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool
f // favorite songs: 
aint it fun - paramore
trivia love 
honey - kehlani
abbey - mitski
moonlight - ariana grande
g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week 
h // horror yes or horror no:  H O R R O R   Y E S   B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc. 
i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man
j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess
k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)
l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that. 
m // middle name: padilla
n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)
o // one wish: to find true love
p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol
q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)
r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf
s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(
t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol 
u // underwear colour: she be black 
v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/
w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it 
x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o
y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby
z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun 
Soft ask:
What’s the smell of your shampoo?
we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes
What’s your aesthetic?
the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu 
What’s your favorite time of the day and why?
lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho. 
What do you most like about the beach?
not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!
What do you worry about constantly?
when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!
What is a song you’ve cried to before?
oh boy...
trivia love
moonchild
first love
she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack
20 something - sza
26 - paramore
the letter - kehlani
landslide - fleetwood mac
when you see my friends - mayday parade
and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart
What are some relaxing tips for your followers?
as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO 
but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)
 What are some things that make you tear up?
the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy
What is your favorite from each sense?
sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh
smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn
taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning
sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise
touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair
What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?
one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should
jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am
What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?
for starters im ugly as shit so theres one
if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over 
but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out
What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?
unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.  
Say something to your followers:
thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!
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sa1bo · 6 years
Note
Y'all got any other anime recs?
i can just give ya all my fav anime fdfhdghk
TLDR;
sailor moon*
inuyasha
digimon*
Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne
Ao no Exorcist / Blue Exorcist*
Puella Magi Madoka Magica (16+)*
Kill la Kill (16+)*
My Hero Academia (duh)*
Danganronpa
Tiger and Bunny*
(anime with a * have GREATLY influenced my art and or writing style and idea of what a good story is; AKA THOSE ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVES)
longer explanations under the cut
Sailor Moon (the oringinal one from the 90s; watch as sub if u want to go in all serious, but the dub is fun too if u like watching it more relaxed ((or with friends bc shits funny)))it has 200 Episodes and 5 MoviesThere IS a remake but I’d say watch that after you’ve seen the original.Summary:Usagi Tsukino is a normal 14 year old girl.. she’s like you and me... sleeps in, loves to eat sweets, loves to play video games, has bad grades, kinda nervous about making friends, kinda broke and just wants to have a good time. But one day her life turns over when suddenly she’s supposed to become a magical girl to defend Tokyo from evil and find a mysterious princess from the moon. (this also involves a talking cat how cool is that)Noteworthy mentions: gay and trans characters? hell yeah! (even if they join the party really late)
Inuyasha! I never saw the english dub, nor japanese dub so no info on which one to watch. just go with preferencehas 193 Episodes.Summary: Kagome Higurashi is yet again an average girl; but she lives at a shrine that has been home to her family for a long time. One day she falls into the well inside the shrine when trying to get her cat (iirc i didnt watch it in 10 years oops) and ends up waking up in feudal japan. She doesn’t really know what happened but thats when she meets inuyasha, who is nailed to a tree with a magical arrow. She saves him and that’s kinda how their destinies collide. again; inuyasha is a half-demon who jumps into fights with a huge fucking sword and its a tru adventure.
Digimon!All digimon seasons should be watched in japanese (or german or latinx spanish (because other languages like english and french did not use the japanese soundtrack. and the english soundtrack is HORRIBLE. bad. hideous. please watch in japanese, german or latinx spanish.)You should start watching Digimon Adventure (1 and 2 and 3)but those two together will be 130 Episodes (and this shit is 3 seasons) jkafhaskjafter seeing season 1 and 2 you should watch the Digimon Movie (my fav movie of all times) and THEN move on to Digimon Adventure triThis is the original digimon series and you don’t NEED to watch it to udenrstand the many reboots, but it’s nice to have seen it to get the references (plus its just REALLY REALLY GOOD!)[theres a lot of gay tension between certain characters but canonically ofc its not happening I GUESS but whatever them gay]Once u got all those down you can watch Digimon Tamers!It has 54 Episodes and is my personal fav season! Takato is a dreamer like you and me and he wants fictional characters to be real! He makes a fucking digimon OC and!?!? IT COMES TO LIFE!!!!!!!!! this season is so fucking good yall. It’s so good.I personally don’t like Digimon Frontier but if u want to give it a try go ahead! The kids THEMSELVES turn into digimon here! idk how many episodes it has tbh but the soundtrack is a bop.Digimon Data Squad is also really good!! the characters are more grown up and the approach is generally a tad more mature (to tamers is also pretty mature considering those are like 12) data squad has 48 Episodesanything after that i didnt rly bother watching but if ya want u can check it out
Kamikaze Kaito Jeannea magical girl anime that i liked a lot as a kid? didnt watch it anymore since 2012 but i have fond memoriesimagine that god himself assigned magical girls?44 episodes, watch in japanese
Ao no Exorcist / Blue Exorcist25 Episodes of the original anime; after epsiode 17 the anime does it’s own thing, not following the mangaWatch season 2 after episode 17 (or finish the first anime first, and then watch Kyoto  Saga; and then read the manga (it’s still ongoing iirc? my adhd ass didnt finish the manga yet so idk))The anime is about Rin Okumura, who turns out to be the son of satan. Instead of accepting his fate though, he decides to become an exorcist, and not just any normal exorcist, but an exorcist so powerful that he will defeat satan personally.
Puella Magi Madoka Magica12 episodes and a movie of magical girl adventure.it will get VERY FUCKED UP so  if ur very sensitive or death/unreality triggers u then us houldnt watch it.I’d say u need to be very mature to stomach this.But it’s oh so worth it. One of my all time favourite anime!!!!!!
Kill la KillAgain for mature audiences (mostly because of the very suggestive outfits and the high amounts of blood. also trigger warning for pedophilia and parent abuse and incest :((( its all just one episode where it happens but its. its bad. (the evil doer dies in the end tho. die bitch.))24 episodesand an OVA!amazing soundtrack, characters and story! (we like to joke that this is basically SA2 but with lesbian human shadow the hedgehog jakshfaskj)
If ur following this blog ur already watching My Hero Academia, and if not wHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON THIS BLOG IN THE FIRST PLACE???????????
if u want to u can watch the first dangan ronpa anime (and after that watch playthroughs of the games) !warning theres lots and lots of blood and death and the first game/anime is a little transphobic, and Girls Stop Having Giand Bobbies Challenge but i promise its a good series with a really in depth story and characters!!(if u want to know more about what order to watch all the shit hmu after u finished the anime)
if you like My Hero Academia you MUST (i repeat MUST) watch Tiger and Bunny25 Episodes and 2 movies of super hero goodness. It’s MHA but with adults. Gay and trans characters? Hell yeah! Did the creators of the anime drink respect poc juice? YES!
i bet theres more but im so tired.................... ask me fore specific genres and i’ll have a rec some other time
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